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11850 state road 84, suite a6, davie, FL (facing i-595) monday-saturday 9am-6pm closed Sunday toll free 1.800.273.0979 local 954.382.9895 check out our bike inventory at 2 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010



15 Sebastiano’s Sunday BBQ
Family friendly fun!

16 U.S. Military Vet’s Dice Run
Vet’s doin’ what they do best.

17 S.FL. Bike Events Holiday

Toy Run Jager Mike’s run to Naples and back.

18 Hooter’s
Our fave Wednesday night spot!

16 20


19 Hard Rock to Nascar
Nascar’s final run for the cup.

20 Fantasy Fest
Hot & hairy in Key West.

21 Orlando
Check out the Central Florida scene.


26 Un Mostro Because that’s her name. 28 Flash Back Harley’s Only drag bike built by Crazy Chris.



24 Oksana


Legs for days.

15 17


42 Oksana Long & lean. 43 Erica Here kitty, kitty. Meow!


44 Nick Ho! Ho! Hottie!


212. that would be awful! The biker world would be an ugly place without our tantalizing . Bikes & Beauties Magazine logo is owned solely and nationally by Daniel Moreau. c o m FIND US ON MYSPACE.KONSTANTINA KAZANAS. EXT. all that planning and packing is only required when preparing to leave for vacation and pulling another banging party out of thin air. I have learned that the best things in life are the ones unplanned that occur when you least expect it.bikesbeauties. So now. MELISSA KING OFFICE MANAGER:MARIA RAMOS 954-789-6986 PRINTING:ANGSTROM GRAPHICS GRAPHIC DESIGN:KONSTANTINA KAZANAS Bikes & Beauties Magazine TM 2010 is published monthly and NO reproduction of content is permitted without publisher’s written consent. Publisher is not liable for errors in advertising but a correction will be printed. checking and rechecking to have it all thrown out the window and my slate wiped clean with one motorcycle accident. comments. MIKE MANN. now can we. We do not promote excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages. tribulations. b i k e s b e a .272. We continue to truck along and search for new ways to entertain you. every single one of them. For me. it is all about setting attainable goals and achieving them one by one.LAURIE HIRST. I spent thirteen years planning. Nothing is ever perfect and nothing ever goes according to plan.CAROL GUZIK.LLC PHOTOGRAPHY:KEN SYNFELT. It is not so much about the planning because plans are flawed. perseverance and successes we have had in 2010. Please drink responsibly. When I started this publication two years ago it began on a whim that was sparked out of sheer boredom and the desire to spend my time doing something that I truly love! It hasn’t been easy but in the end everything has worked out. pack and count then plan some more before they make any sudden decisions. To me. achieving one goal at a time.COM TALENT:MODELSBIKESBEAUTIES@GMAIL. no matter the size. promises. different and perceives the world around them with their own two eyes. packing. It is about moving forward no matter how turbulent the climb may be. DAVIE • 954.COM EDITOR:CHRISTY VITTITOW CEO:KEN SYNFELT PUBLISHER:BIKES & BEAUTIES MAGAZINE. OFFICES NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC. FACEBOOK AND FOLLOW US ON TWITTER GENERAL EMAIL:BIKESANDBEAUTIES@GMAIL. Don’t get me wrong there have been times that we have considered throwing in the towel and walking away but. BEAU VITTITOW. I will not always succeed but. Hell. NORTH FLORIDA SALES:OPEN POSITION PROMOTIONS: COURTNEY PAIGE 954-789-6986 PRODUCTION ASSISTANT: COURTNEY PAIGE.NOTE FROM THE EDITOR As another year comes to an end I can’t help but reflect on all the trials. then what would you all be left with? Some other publication? Well we can’t have that. Life is about expecting the unexpected.CHRISTY VITTITOW 954-789-6986 CENTRAL FLORIDA SALES:JESSIE GREENE 407-761-7969. So. CEDRIC KILLINGS.DAWG BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 5 WITH NFL ALUMNI TERRY KIRBY! www. coupons or lack of fulfillment of any of their columnists or advertisers. saving for a rainy day and rolling with the punches. this year I plan to keep setting my goals and achieving them one by one.2609 w w w . it is our G-d given American right to express our opinions freely.COM SALES:SALESBIKESBEAUTIES@GMAIL.COM ART DEPT:DESIGNBIKESBEAUTIES@GMAIL. Publisher is not liable for: slandering of any individual.ULI THE UNRULY DISTRIBUTION:NATIONAL DYNAMICS. P L E A S E C A L L T O M A K E A N A P P O I N T M E N T. opinions.CHRISTY VITTITOW WRITERS:CHRISTY VITTITOW. HOG DOG. FL 33081-3269 Ph: 954-789-6986 Fx: 954-212-2609 u t i e s Bikes & Beauties needs some help! We are looking for a to help us sell ad space! Sales Professional Send your Resumes & References to: *There are 3 Compensation Packages to choose from! Full or Part Time! Contact Us NOW!! M AG A Z I N E jobsbikesbeauties@gmail. Every one of us has a method to our madness and each are entitled to our opinion.COM HR:JOBSBIKESBEAUTIES@GMAIL. Someone said to me this month that they would rather carefully plan. check and recheck. JIM UHING JESSIE GREENE. I will keep trying! Thank you all for another fantastic year! I look forward to seeing all of you at our New Year’s Eve party! Happy Holidays! Stay Between the Ditches & Keep the Shiny Side Up!! Bikes & Beauties Magazine LLC Po Box 813269 Hollywood.JESSIE GREENE. I understand that for some individuals their determination lies in their ability to check and recheck in hopes of being so meticulous that they cannot possible make an error because they planned every little detail out and followed their plan to a “T” Everyone is .COM ACCOUNTING:BIKESANDBEAUTIES@CS. KONSTANTINA KAZANAS. JAMES or Fax to: 954. 10-4-10 BUD & BUD LIGHT MINI’S RAFFLES & GIVE-AWAYS MODELS & MORE!! EVERY MONDAY AT BIG DAWGS 2 7357 DAVIE RD.LLC GENERAL SALES:KEN 954-851-6015.

6986 bikesandbeauties@gmail.abateflorida. powerforpaws@gmail. 401.0365 MOTORCYCLE DEMOS & MORE Sanford.0435 BIKES & BEAUTIES NEW YEARS EVE PARTY 954.842. 4 SUNDAY. 727.545. seminoleharley.789.bikesbeauties. FL.328. FL. FL.7100 12TH ANNUAL BILLS BIKES MEMORIAL TOY RUN West Palm Bch. DEC 18 FRIDAY. Fl. DEC. DEC 18 2011 SATURDAY. billsbikestoyrun. 5 SATURDAY. 386.563.9500 HOLIDAY SANTA PICTURES New Port 772.687. brucerossmeyer.1212 VINTAGE CHAPTERS RIDE INTO CHRISTMAS Pam 386.0687 TOYS IN THE SUN RUN ABATE TOY RUN 561.325. DEC. brevard.2561 4TH ANNUAL ST LUCIE COUNTY TOY RUN Fort Pierce. 11 SUNDAY. DEC 31 6 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www. *Check the flyer on page 22!* SATURDAY.671. FL. DEC 12 407.4547 NMHFI ANNUAL X-MAS PARTY. Leesburg.480/3619 ABATE OF FLORIDA STATE MEET Naples. 407.2455 3RD ANNUAL TOYS FOR TOTS POKER RUN Orlando. 239. FL. SWEENEY’s 3200 W Hallandale Bch Blvd PETERSONS TOYS IN THE SUN RUN APPRECIATION DAY Petersons HD 19400 NW 2nd Ave.DECEMBER 2010 LAKE COUNTY UNITED MOTORCYCLIST TOY 321.468. 386.4674 POWER FOR PAWS BENEFIT FOR CHRISTINE FANCHER Ormond Bch. mmitch2153@yahoo.295. Miami. FL.6888 MEGA MOTOR EVENT Ormond . www. FL. FL. Augustine. DEC.353.

3200 W Hallandale Bch Blvd.985. across from Everglades Holiday Park. Just north of Royal Palm on west side. Dania Bch. Hollywood.696 miles. Two tone Red Fire Pearl and Gold. 5 speed transmission and more fun than a scooter! NO ADDITIONAL FEES! Call 305-651-4811 ext. Hollywood. 5442 W. BBQ noon . 1391 S. University Dr.00. 108 and ask for Chris Walden or email ChrisW@MiamiHarley. 400 SW 3rd Ave. • BALLER’S ROCK ‘N ROLL SPORTS BAR. FL 33315. Royal Palm Bch. 5983 S. Andrews Ave. the party 33442.. • CRABBY JACK’S BIKE NIGHT. Lefty’s Bar and Grill. CUSTOM!!! This bike will turn heads wherever you go. internal wiring and the engine is all stock..bikesbeauties. Sanford. West end of Griffin Rd. • HOOTERS. 550 Towne Center Cir. 104th and US 1. 2009 Road King Classic. Live Music. Atlantic Blvd. Bikers 20% off check. Bucket Specials! Live Bands! US 27. FL. FL. 200 SW 2nd St. Live music. LAUDERDALE H-D BIKE NIGHT.. 3985 Ravenswood Rd. • JESSE’S SPORTS BAR. 8901 SW 157th Ave # 1 Miami. 108 and ask for Chris Walden or email ChrisW@MiamiHarley.. 7-12 Live Music. 10th Ave North & 6th Ave South. 2861 East Commercial Blvd. Drink and Food Specials. FL Every Third Thursday of the Month: THURSDAY’S • THE PLAYHOUSE GENTLEMENS CLUB. Raffles and door prizes.910 miles. FL 33024. FL. 954-481-3755 starts at 7pm Every Saturday night. Lauderdale. CUSTOM.697. live music. 954-781-6227 • TARPON BEND BIKE NIGHT. 5771 Coral Ridge Dr. 500 cc engine. 954. • BONEFISH MAC’S SPORTS GRILLE BIKE NITE.. 407-324-1272.000 2003 Bourget Kruzer. Vivid Black. other specials. Miami. FL. FL. 6-10pm. Margate. 108 and ask for Chris Walden or email ChrisW@MiamiHarley.082 miles. Dania Beach Blvd. Pembroke Pines. 3111 North Surf Rd. Price reduced for quick sale! 84 month financing with ZERO down available with approved credit! NO ADDITIONAL FEES! SELLING PRICE PLUS TAX AND TAG IS ALL YOU PAY! Call 305-651-4811 EXT. Harsh Clothing. 954-689-0035 • SOUTH FLORIDA CHOPPERS BIKE NITE @ BRASS RING. FL • PIRATE REPUBLIC BAR. Lauderdale. 4.DECEMBER 2010 * FOR SALE * Starts at TODAY! 954-435-2901 WEDNESDAY’S •PACKY’S SPORTS GRILL. upgraded handle bars. FL 33023 954-963-4422 • G. 4th . FL • BETTY’S BURGERS PETERSON H-D SOUTH. FL FRIDAY’S • CLAMSTER’S BAR & GRILL. Pompano Beach. 7pm.. Ft. University Dr. Ft. 2008 Street Glide. PLENTY OF UNDERCOVER PARKING. 2388 • CAFE 27.3870 Every First Thursday of the Month: • VICTORY PRESENTS BIKE & ROD NIGHT. SATURDAY’S www.. free VIP parking and no cover. Military Trail Deerfield Beach. FL.. FL. Factory security. 5 speed transmission. FL. Pembroke Pines.flossiesbar. Deerfield Bch. Bike parking. Hallandale Bch. 3-7. (. SHARKEYS RAW BAR AND GRILL. Lake Worth FL.W. Coral Springs. 12.7PM. 108 and ask for Chris Walden or email ChrisW@MiamiHarley.. Prize for best bike. 500 E.. at • GRIDIRON BAR & GRILL BIKE NIGHT... NO ADDITIONAL FEES! SELLING PRICE PLUS TAX AND TAG IS ALL YOU PAY! Call 305-651-4811 ext. 5775 Hallandale Bch Blvd. 1015 S. Vivid Black.. Sponsored by Bruce Rossmeyer HD. 7pm. 954-761-3500 $15. 8-11. 954• HOOTERS PEMBROKE PINES BIKE NIGHT. 954-583-9656 www. 954-962-6330 429-3770 $10.7pm.5 mi east of US1) US 27 TODAY! • BIG DAWG’S BIKE • ZO’S OFF THE HOOK ROSSMEYER FT. Davie. Frequent rider cards available. FL. Lauderdale. FL.000 NW 6 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 7 . 5 PM to close.500. $1. SUNDAY’S • CRUISERS FOR CHRIST BIKE NIGHT. Boca Raton. Dania Bch. 840 S.00 2006 Buell Blast. right off Griffin Rd. Chrome front end. 561-856-1234 • KINGS HEAD PUB. 7990 Pines Blvd. 113 cubic inch S&S engine. Only 3. 561-296-4563 • OCEANS ELEVEN.. Federal Hwy.799. TUESDAY’S $15.. 954341-9990 • LAKE WORTH NIGHT BIKE NIGHT. Seminole HD. FL. • CAGNEY’S SALOON. awesome drink specials for riders. 15% off Food & Merchandise w/ Motorcycle Key. 11379 W. 10. Starting Nov. 33196 (305) 382-8116 • EVERGLADES HOLIDAY PARK BIKE NIGHT. 954-927-5549 • FLOSSIE’S. Stage 1. 10998 Okeechobee Blvd. 954-752-3525 MONDAY’S Lighthouse Point. Thunder Thursdays Bike Night 33428. 2002 E. 6pm . Harley-Davidson Screamin’ Eagle Race Tuner & Fatshotz mufflers. FL. 84 month financing and ZERO down available with approved credit! NO ADDITIONAL FEES! SELLING PRICE PLUS TAX AND TAG IS ALL YOU PAY! Call 305-651-4811 EXT. Sample Rd. Coral Springs.close. Sponsored by: Budweiser. custom floor boards. CUSTOM.. drink specials. Super clean. Palmetto Park Rd.

2010. Vendors. Live bands including headliner: Charlie Daniels and much more. Car Show. Ride starts at Seminole Coconut Creek Casino & Goes to Markham Come See Our Sexy Santa’s Little Helper’s 8 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www.Don’t miss the 23rd Annual Toys in the Sun Run Sunday December 5. Bike . Custom Bike Builders. All proceeds benefit the Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital For more info call: 954-343-8782 • Bike Show: 954-789-6986 • Car Show: 954-963-2828 www.bikesbeauties.

quickly learning that the front wheel does need to be straight when coming to a stop. so naturally he got through a few stop lights that caught Me. I was very scared of the lean you get when taking corners. Then I saw it. Because the next Morning i awoke to see hiM frantically getting dressed with the announceMent that he was late for the cog Meeting north of daytona. The next ride I sat on was a Dyna Low Rider. so i finally Began to relax & get the real feel of the Bike.. so off i went alone!! got lost! getting used to it By now! had a great visit with 3 different locations & Managed to get turned around all 3 tiMes! But after the downpour let up. now it’s late afternoon & the only way to avoid lots of traffic is i-95. After these accomplishments I took to riding around our valley. so i just kept going after i verified on the Map i was headed in the right direction all along! this tiMe it was the guys who were confused! i finally Met up with theM again even though one of theM had to drop out Because it was getting a Bit late. Never having ridden a street bike I was scared that he would get hurt. nope!! i Managed to go right past the next route change i needed & had to turn around in a parking lot (still hadn’t Mastered that u-turn thing!) i got going in the right direction. this was a good way to start as the road through the cemetery is nicely paved and full of tight corners. i also like to leave a lot of rooM when following cars in traffic. we headed off together. I was so excited. and arrived at the kawasaki MeMBers area without freaking out once! we Met up with dr. headed for lake wales. But no one else who was supposed to Meet us Managed to Make it through the downpour that started right after we sat down! oh great! now i have to ride in the rain too! and did i Mention the wind that was whipping things around? after a Bit things let up & we went Back to the speedway & spent Money!! then it started to rain again. i Made it safely around the corner. the next day i wanted to visit soMe faMily in leesBurg.. Box 813269. is in excellent shape and I got a steal on it. I started looking at old convertible hot rods to use as a Harley chaser. stepped away and watched it burn. although I could sit flat footed it seemed very top heavy. i finally got there & Managed to wade through heavy traffic. Bart had ridden over froM MiaMi the night Before. and yes. yep! Back on the “slaB” again! we got lousy directions. I knew that the Sportster was not an option. Thankfully there was no damage to myself or my bike. Every ride went well and each time I went out I have gained more confidence. it felt as though it had been built just for me. got separated. The Heritage intimidated me. I am nervous about the trip because it is approximately 1200 miles one way and our friends like to ride fast.we Managed to get lost &/or separated 11 tiMes!! heck of a “first ride” for the little old newBie!! now i’M not afraid to ride in anything. ok.o. fear & dread! it was the Morning we were leaving for the ride to daytona for Bike week. I knew I could ride one as my reason for not wanting a bike was the stability. my heart pounded and my adrenaline was pumping. so Many tiMes Bart would Be a Bit far ahead of Me. i was stuck in traffic. you guessed it. in the dark. he bought a 1976 Harley Davidson Sportster. the bike burst into flames. but since it’s not. (a usual proBleM for us. It teaches the fundamental skills required to ride and gives you a great sense of accomplishment. But we Made it just fine. the guys passed the next turn we were to Make. But loving it. I started to look at bikes. i certainly didn’t want to Be riding through orlando during that.. My husband is great about letting me ride my ride. although I have no problem riding the speed limit. BlaBBed way too long & just Bart & i took off headed for hoMe. it took the guys aBout 30 Minutes to get theMselves sorted Back out. But Before this i had only ridden aBout 150 Miles total on My scoot since i passed the Msf course. so it isn’t quite My “first” ride. But he was always gracious aBout it! once he got so far ahead. so i was really looking out for Moving cars as i pulled in to a parking spot & shut down the Bike. now i started to look for Bart. MayBe all that weight on the fender Behind Me just kept Me anchored to the ground Better! the next hurdle was just to keep the Bike going straight as an arrow while seMi’s & duMp trucks whizzed By. all new riders should take the course. he announced that we were supposed to Meet the cog MeMBers aBout 30 Miles up the highway for dinner. we got separated! By now i’d given up even Being concerned.BIKES& S IE BEAUT AG MAILB Bikes&Beauties Magazine. So here I was back at the beginning. just my pride.C. But now i realize that’s Because i’M always checking the Map to see where i aM every tiMe i stop for a light. nothing’s changed. I believe that this education helped him not panic and that is what brought him thru this incident unharmed. My first tiMe on the super-slaB! it was cold & i was nervous. but did not want to be a back seat READER’S WRITES a friend who was upgrading. of course taking the corners at the posted speed has a lot to do with how much lean is required. the final day of our trip (Monday) we were to Meet with soMe folks froM intruderalert to take possession of erving Merlin. & went the right way. I am very thankful that he had taken the motorcycle safety course. I love my bike. But soMething aBout the foot peg didn’t feel right. I still have a bunch to learn and experience. I bought it from www. after all asphalt is very hard! I started researching trikes and quickly found out that my budget would not allow this option. I have found out that many of the corners do not require big lean angles to get through. all those classic lines. It is true that the roads that you have driven your entire life look a whole lot different on a bike and I have found that wind coming off of trucks can be very intimidating. by Flamin’ Rose “connie” was sitting there when i arrived & i didn’t know if i should Be relieved or furious. donna & jerry at the BoB evans. a Harley Davidson Trike. He pulled the bike down from 70mph and got off. good thing Because i really needed the practice! while i was getting used to Moving along at faster speeds. just knew i had to Be in lake wales to turn over the doll. The only other advice I would give is to look for the bike that fits you. I really liked the look of the Heritage Softail. a wooden doll Being transported all over the country By intruder owners. wind..bikesbeauties. In the spring of 2003 my husband got the bug. but I do have a 2002 Harley Softail Standard. I still want to fight the lean in the corners. FL 33081-3269 • E-mail: bikesandbeauties@gmail. and the roads are wet. There is a bike out there that will feel like you are home. we bought him a 2003 Sportster 1200S. But figured i’d pull in there after i finally got around the corner. I got the feeling that I would kill myself.. I could ride this bike. you are still just riding your own ride!” of course the whole rest of the ride i was expecting to coMe up on Bart sitting By the side of the road waiting for Me. • P. pulled into the lot right Behind Bart who’d Been off doing his own thing all BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 9 . a little past halfway to our destination hotel we got separated again when i got caught By a light. which i can’t see without My glasses anyway! of course i Managed to get confused at least 4 More tiMes on the rest of the way. what a rush. I never did get my Low Rider. and on the only other ride over 20 Miles i’d Managed to drop the Bike twice!! i dawdled My way through packing the Bike up with the Brand new leather sissy Bar Bag i’d just gotten aBout a week earlier. he enjoys our rides together and has no problem following my lead. then I rode around the small town that I live in. so he was all ready to go in short order. alone. got lost. although he likes to get out and stretch his legs. But didn’t see hiM anywhere! after aBout 45 Minutes i realized he wasn’t coMing Back for Me & traffic was getting worse as rush hour approached. Other than a few minor burns on his hands he was fine but very disappointed. I believe that the rider safety course should be mandatory. but had a few points taken off the riding portion for some problems with the cone weave. we finally got away froM the hotel aBout 11aM. this resulted in hiM having to pull over to wait for Me several tiMes. as I live in a snow zone. as it hit the hot motor and pipes. we had a great visit. In the end I had my endorsement and more confidence in myself. he caMe out just then & we checked out My peg proBleM. dark. Although I don’t feel as at home on the Softail as the Low Rider. turns out the peg had loosened up & was just upside down!! i just knew i’d had enough for one day! But My confidence level had shot up treMendously! good thing. you just need to sit on them all until you find that fit. Although I ended up with a different bike and it is working out for me I believe that I would reach my comfort zone quicker on a bike that felt like an extension of myself. arrived Back in cape coral at 11:15pM & i had to get up for work the next Morning at 3aM!! all counted up. wandering pedestrians. but as spring approaches I have an itch to put on my leathers and go for a ride. But in spite of practically p--ing My pants.. L. even though i Made a wrong turn. By the end of November it was time to put my friend away. A lesson well learned and not soon forgotten. no matter of the make or model. Shortly after what I call the inferno incident. he turned around and caMe Back for Me! a pattern was developing here. nothing like riding a dirt bike. i ended up finally finding the restaurant alone again! a real confidence Builder! now we have to return aBout 60 Miles to the hotel in the dark. I told him that when I sat on it I had the feeling of being home. nearly gave Myself a hernia picking it up to wiggle it onto the Bar! i swear i didn’t Bring everything i own! My s. after prowling the vendors again for the whole day. So I took the hundred plus mile trip to the nearest Harley store just to sit on the bikes. i was still not real quick aBout whipping around curves or taking off froM stops. experience was Being heaped upon Me faster than i had a chance to worry aBout it! we finally decided riding in the rain was Better than riding in the rain & dark.. i looked down and the entire ruBBer section under My left foot was gone! i had soMe fun trying to not have My foot slip off that peg! now as a car driver i never seeM to Make a wrong turn when i’M traveling. we got separated again! the next day we headed out together. ok. I took the safety class the end of September 2003 and pasted the written portion with a 100. we got lost again! But at least this tiMe we Managed to stay together.. They assure me that I will be ready and my hubby says that we will still ride my ride and get there in my time. By the tiMe they caught up to Me i was already at the drop off location. the original plan was to Be on the road as soon as the traffic lightened up. since My Bike has a pretty sMall gas tank. it was one of those really Busy speedway stations. The first ride I took was through a local cemetery. Hollywood. on the slaB. We are planning a trip to Sturgis in August with a group of friends. But finally pulled into the hotel parking lot a Mere 6&1/2 hours after My departure froM hoMe! it was only aBout 300 Miles!! Bart’s SCARED. as sitting on my husband’s bike was very uncomfortable. we had to stop for fuel often enough for Me to catch My Breath & get coMfortaBle with lots of turns.O. so i finally just said to Myself “get going. I wanted to spend time with him while he enjoyed riding. so we headed for the hotel. MayBe 9aM. But i’d had to sleep in froM working late the night Before. LOST MY TINY MIND! by Caped Intruder My insides were juMping up and down with exciteMent. but I couldn’t tell him no! A few months after buying his bike the unthinkable happened. with this decision made. the bike had a lot of work done to it. Keep the rubber side down and ride your own ride. Bring it on!! I started riding dirt bikes when I was six years old and have ridden them on and off (mostly off ) for the past 31 years. aBout 60 Miles away! could i Make it to daytona on My own & Meet hiM at the speedway later? i guess i’ll just have to won’t i!! well. rain.. i was headed Back to the hotel again. I headed home and on the way had to stop off at hubby’s place of work to tell him that I found my bike. a fuel line broke. what a feeling. on the Bike i’M watching traffic & not the Map. after not riding for many years. on i-4. But at least there was a clear sky & very few intersections or curves to worry aBout. what to do? I decided that I should at least take the rider safety course. as i arrived at the highway exit to the next road we would Be taking i looked to the right to see where Bart had gone & saw hiM in the parking lot of a gas station. of course I did lay my bike down once. So I will spend the time until August working on my comfort level in preparation for the 2400 mile round trip. i’M afraid!) as we approached the turn where i dropped My Bike just over a Month earlier i could feel My Mouth go dry & My hands get shaky. i gritted My teeth & Managed that too.L. we did a u-turn & the clowns Missed the turn again!! i said nuts to this. wrong! we didn’t get away until noon.

Ask yourself why you want this particular resolution to come true. Your actions will be half-hearted and you probably won’t stick with it for very long even if you do start. with the hopeful chance of some improvement. They can invigorate our lives with inspiring challenges and wonderful experiences to look forward to. reduce their debt. The trick to busting out of this Resolutions cycle is to find a way to think outside your expectations. whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. friends and family to support your resolution. who errs and comes short again and again. Whether or not you expect to accomplish something will decisively impact whether or not you do. or you can choose to be defined by your inspirations. The nature of expectations is that they determine what action we will take and the quality of that action. if you hate working out at the gym. The next time a faucet leaks. thinking and enthusiasm will be much more limited. your attitude will be positive and your actions will have a quality about them that produces results. etc. you get . even though you’ve never done it before. When you choose the inspiring path. your environment will come to know you as someone who can figure things out. and that environment takes actions and produces outcomes that are consistent with those conversations. 3. if he fails. then buying a three-year contract at your local fitness center in hopes that it will somehow shame you into working off that beer gut is nuts! The starting point to being successful at ANYTHING in life. And. you become whatever your choices are.. including resolutions. New Year’s Resolutions can be a very positive resource. you’ll produce a result that reflects all of these factors. Let’s face it. or how sincere or determined we are. acquaintances. On the other hand. Stop looking outside yourself for why you don’t have what you want. Your typical adult will resolve to lose weight. Along the way. . manages their money wisely or stop smoking. You will find people who can help you and you will learn from them. Simply put. In the end. is your expectations. Choose the meaningful path for yourself. the picture. The expectation itself will be a dominant force in determining the outcome. someone who can fix faucets. . then your attitude.MS. ing a book” “falling in love” well. “The credit belongs to the man in the arena. or you think it’s not worth it to try. at worst. Notwithstanding their diabolical reputation.) begins to respond to those conversations. we would probably produce it. or at least. what you end up with and how long it takes to get it. start exercising. You’re likely to stick with those actions long enough.bikesbeauties. which in turn produces results that are consistent with those behaviors. If you stick with it. you’ll be inclined to build on your previous triumph and take a crack at something new. . just because you may have never considered New Year’s Resolutions as a wonderful mechanism for creating new and exciting outcomes. you won’t fix the faucet and you will be less likely to attempt similar projects in the future. Yet out of all of those resolutions only about 5% will actually persevere with our resolutions in tack at year’s end. you become mediocre and safe. who.. if you don’t think you can fix the faucet because you don’t how. You can either choose to be defined by your expectations. expectations inspire a particular quality of conversations. If your life was set up to support you in having the outcome you want. no amount of strategizing or goal-setting is going to make much difference. who strives valiantly. and spends himself in a worthy cause. 4. doesn’t matter. The surrounding environment (friends. Is it because we are just a lazy bunch of non achievers or is there a much greater reason. People won’t take you seriously. doesn’t mean it’s too late to start doing that. In the end.” -Theodore Roosevelt Here are a few guidelines that could have this year turn out to be the most amazing year of your life. Another Resolution very year millions of Americans sit down to write out their list of New Year’s resolutions. In this case. For example. and learn what you need to learn. or a door squeaks. and may even decline to support or participate in your efforts. If you choose mediocrity and safety. they stimulate actions that are consistent with the expectation. especially if it was important to us. or how badly we want it. New Year’s resolutions will continue to be a challenge for many of us. His place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. if you are confident that you can replace the leaky faucet in the bathroom. In fact research over the years has concluded that about 80% of all New Year’s Resolutions are broken by January 31st!!! I wonder why that is. And second. MARLEY & HER HARLEY Another Year. which is not a horrible idea. Outcomes are then produced which are consistent 10 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 with those actions. because if you don’t do that. if our lives and actions were conducive to producing a particular result. Regardless of what we say we want. at least fails while daring greatly. 1. the “reality” for each of us is that we expect to do the same things we’ve always done. Who says they have to be a drag? Just because things haven’t worked out well in the past with respect to your resolutions is no reason to assume they never will. Trying to change a behavior without working on the “wiring” is like trying to convince yourself to drink buttermilk when the very thought of it makes you want to puke. Isn’t it time to stop having your life be about “success” and start having it be about discovery and inspiration? www. And that’s what makes New Year’s Resolutions so vexing for most of us. Substitute the example of “fixing the faucet” with “losing weight” saving money” “writ. They can provide an opportunity for us to evaluate our progress in life. Retrain your environment. to get those results. co-workers. It isn’t an overnight process. Our brains are wired in such a way that certain behaviors keep repeating themselves. Expectations cause two things to happen. family. 2. 5. but there are some steps you can take that can get you headed in the right direction. you probably would already have it.

doesn’t mean we need to look like the big boys! Coiffing our ‘do’ could prove to be easier than we thought. • Taking the sponge method a bit further. This could cause breakage and further damage your tresses. • If you have short hair or bangs.bikesbeauties. Instead use a quality widetooth comb. remove helmet. www. Slowly proceed to use the comb through your hair starting at the lower portions and working your way up. If you can. Just wrap up sections of your hair around the foam curlers and put your helmet on. And hey. • Trimming your hair regularly will prevent split ends and keeps your hair healthier.. if you can’t wait. To help prevent or treat tangles and damage: • The most popular tip would probably be to just keep your hair pulled back and close to your head. • Shorter or shoulder length styles work best with out having to be pulled back. Products are now available that contain sunscreen which will protect your hair from the suns harmful rays. • If it is too late and your hair is full of tangles. • Avoid combing or brushing your hair after you BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 11 . gently finger comb to remove any tangles and then only use a wide-tooth comb. •Products such as gel. spray. longer. • Never use a brush on wet hair as this causes stretching and damage which can lead to split ends and fly-aways.even under a helmet! Here are some tips for curing ‘Helmet Hair’: • The quickest and easiest way to rid the dreaded ‘helmet hair’ could be as simple as smooth. Slather on conditioner using your fingers to gently untangle the hair. It also makes it much easier to remove tangles when you wash the products out. curlers and voilà. mousse. Use your fingers or a comb or brush to style. you can use foam curlers.SKIN CARE CORNER HAIR CARE TIPS FOR LADY RIDERS Just because we ride with the big boys. • Covering your hair with a scarf or a bandana will help in multiple ways including absorbing moisture as well as adding a thin layer of cushioning between your head and your helmet. keep a small bottle of water in your saddle bags so you can quickly spritz your hair lightly with water when you take your helmet off. wind. wait until you wash your hair. and tangles. • Avoiding direct contact with the sun may prevent drying and brittle consistencies in your hair. Apply more conditioner as needed. • An effective method to avoid some flattening of your ‘do’ could be to use a small sponge as a barrier between your helmet and your head. When you arrive at your destination. straight and one length styles that can easily be slicked back into a low pony tail. Check to SPF ratings on the labels. etc. if you are skeptical about your hair style after your ride. a perfectly coiffed hairstyle. dirt. you can always keep the scarf on.. help protect your ‘do’ from various types of damage from the sun. don’t run for the scissors! Head to the shower and be sure to grab your wide-tooth comb.

Then we sent our photogs over to Sunrise Harley-Davidson to embark on the police escorted Toy Run to Naples with Jager Mike and South Florida Bike Events. check it out on page 20. Bikes&Beauties Magazine kick off the busy season with a bang doing what we do best. Chopper Zoo and Wings of Gold MC held their Annual Ride to NASCAR that started at the Seminole Hard Rock and ended at the Miami-Homestead Speedway. ride. We couldn’t leave out the images we captured at Fantasy Fest. check out the ride on page 19. HAVE A BEER. click. Enjoy! 15 Sunday BBQ 17 Toy Run to Naples 19 Hard Rock to Nascar 20 Fantasy Fest 22 Orlando www. click. Last but not least check out all of the good times captured by our Orlando girl about town Jesse’s images beginning on page 23.bikesbeauties. ride. see our coverage on page 17.Scene Around BIKES & BEAUTIES OUR SHUTTER-BUG SNAPS THE EVENTS YOU MISSED OUT ON. check it out on page 15. 12 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 . sip then repeat! We even managed to find a new family friendly place to spend your Sunday afternoon. HOSS. Celebrating NASCAR’s final chase to the cup and raising money for Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital.

com BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 13 .bikesbeauties.Please Call for an Appointment. If it is an emergency call Dan 786-258-1491 www.

com .bikesbeauties.14 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www.

3pm! www.bikesbeauties. Seb. this was not your ordinary biker event of burgers and BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 15 . Chef and Owner of Sebastiano’s Pizzeria & Italian Restaurant located at the corner of 46th Ave and Hollywood Blvd. did just that. local biker. Let me tell you. grilled chicken and pulled pork. Seb did it up right with a fantastic BBQ feast of sausage and peppers. Simply fantastic! Stay tuned we have heard that this event might become a South Florida staple! Be sure to check us out the First Sunday of every month from noon .> SEBASTIANO’S SUNDAY BBQ BIKES & BEAUTIES SUNDAY BBQ at SEBASTIANO’S Every once in a while the South Florida biker scene is spiced up with a new endeavor and excuse to get out and ride. A few Sunday’s back he came by our house and invited us to his first ever Biker Friendly Car Show Family BBQ.


again this year they chose Home Sweet Home and Big Momma’s House. We awoke the next morning to find that Mother Nature was on our side once again. painting the sky a crystal blue ensuring our ride back to be a blistery one. Participants were greeted by a handful of volunteers and the most amazing breakfast of any bike rally we have participated in thus far. E www. Mike and Dee Dee once again laid out a super fantastic afternoon fiesta! Filling the Big Dawg’s lot with another fantastic party! Thanks to all who came out and helped a great cause. It just doesn’t get any better than this!! Riders and drivers alike were greeted by supports. in the last year we have lost quite a few fellow riders and friends so this year they are riding for all of our long lost friends. In years past this run has been in honor of Tommy Ruzzano.HOLIDAY TOY RUN SCENE AROUND HOLIDAY TOY RUN very year South Florida Bike Events holds their annual toy run. There are not many places in the United States where you can sunbathe one week before Thanksgiving but we are lucky enough to live in South Florida! (Thank God for that!) The escorted run back to Big Dawgs in Pembroke Pines was. As the eleven o’clock hour approached the riders lined up and prepared for their journey across the infamous Alligator Alley. for lack of better words. However.gooders made one quick stop to fuel up before arriving at Naples Harley-Davidson that just so happens to be located right next to one of our favorite spots. I can only imagine what the I-595 motorists were thinking as the line of supporters halted traffic and roared on by. November 20st at Sunrise HarleyDavidson. As the afternoon slipped away we mounted our chariots and made our way to our ‘home’ for the night. We danced and laughed and helped raise a substantial chunk of change for a great cause. The rambling group of doo. Hooter’s. The nearly mile long stretch of bikes was quite a sight to see. Vendors and the Hooter’s calendar girls all waiting for the parade to arrive and the party to begin.> SFL BIKE EVENTS . freaking awesome! We blew across Alligator Alley like a flash of lightening and made it back in record BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 17 . the Quality Inn of Naples opened their doors and allowed us to wreck havoc on their poor tiki pool bar well into the night.bikesbeauties. This year’s Tommy Ruzzano Holiday Toy Run and Bike Rally kicked off with a bang Saturday. The year’s ride to Naples was escorted by some of South Florida’s finest badge packing citizens and greeted with clear skies and temperatures in the low eighties. Seventy plus bikes and a handful of motorist assembled there in the name of charity.

bikesbeauties. vendors and one hell of a great time. you will not be disappointed. Any given week you are guaranteed to find the parking lot filled with . beauties. Next time you are in the area stop in. 18 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www.SCENE AROUND > HOOTERS HOOTERS We have been to bike nights all over the state and nothing compares to Wednesday nights at Pembroke Pines Hooters. No other location in Florida is capable of packing in hundreds of bikes weekly.

800 for Joe DiMaggio. Hope to see you all again next year! BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 19 .G played Road Guards ensuring everyone would arrive at the speedway safe and sound.800. with Chopper Zoo and the Wings of Gold raising $2. the Seminole Hard Rock and the Homestead Miami together with Chopper Zoo and the Wings of Gold MC host their Run to Nascar to benefit the Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital. This year participants arrived to partly cloudy skies illuminating the table of bagels and donuts provided by Jackie Johnson.> HARD ROCK TO NASCAR RUN SCENE AROUND HARD ROCK TO NASCAR O nce a year.O. the event raised $13. All in all. Over one hundred motorcycles lined up in preparation for this police escorted run lead this year by Sweetwater Police Department who took the riders all the way to homestead blowing through tolls while the W. Special thanks to everyone that helped make this event a huge success and to Dean for providing everyone with an RV filled with free grub.

> FANTASY FEST . on a beautiful Halloween . Business owners have a tough time paying their expenses. “What is wrong with this picture? Here it is the most beautiful weather day of the season and the town is deserted.SCENE AROUND FANTASY FEST 2010 n 1978. Liszka proclaimed. something that will entice people to change our moribund season to one of great fun. no people walking the streets and most of the store fronts had been closed for the slow season. He asked him to look around and tell him what he saw. Workers are laid off. a carnival. a celebration.bikesbeauties. Joe Liszka asked co-founding member of Fantasy Fest® Frank Roman to follow him to the intersection of Front and Duval Street.KEY WEST I 20 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www. We need a fest. There were no cars moving. a party that will bring many people to understand that this season is one of our best!” His creative inspiration was the birth of what is now known as Fantasy Fest. It is a disaster season for the Key West economy.

raffles and trophies. Dirty Harry’s is located in the 700 block of Main Street – the heart of Daytona Beach and home of the famous “Bike Week” and its fall equivalent “Biketoberfest” It is also only a short walk from the Ocean Center and .ORLANDO SCENE AROUND Every Thursday night Porkie’s BBQ. good people and a whole lot of good cooking going on! With the help and support of Real Radio 104. From 5:00 to 10:00 pm rain or shine.1 Steve and his gang have set out to make this Thursday night Bike Night at Porkie’s in Apopka the hottest stop in town. Florida holds its weekly bike night. BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 21 .> PORKIE’S .ORLANDO DIRTY HARRY’S Dirty Harry’s Pub is rustic biker’s den which hosts its share of raucous parties inside and out… featuring two courtyards and the “outback” which transforms into a massive block party complete with an outdoor stage for live bands and contests during the larger events. Music & Prizes December 5th 2-6PM Live Music by: Groove Bone www. PORKIES BBQ > DIRTY HARRY’S . prizes. Hundreds of bikers and motorcycle enthusiasts rumble in from around Orlando’s five major counties for sick ass BBQ. bikers and BBQ lovers a like transform Porkie’s little piece of land into an entertainment venue. located at 256 E Main Street. Open: Sunday thru Thursday 11:00 am to 2:00 am Friday & Saturday 11:00 am to 3:00 am Happy Hour 4:00 to 7:00pm Monday thru Friday Free 1st Sundays BBQ Drink Specials. Peabody Auditorium. Contests.bikesbeauties. I have to admit there are a few that roll in just to show off! Hottest bike of the night contest with outrageous trophies for the top 3! You can always find good tunes.


The two biggest dreams were working with Jack at Custom Bikes of Lauderdale and playing in a rock and roll band with his brother Skip. the best bike builder in South Florida. The only thing he loved more were his bikes. music and his two little brothers. He will always be our uncle Joe forever in our hearts living on in our lives.. 2010 he joined the Reno Band with his brother Skip in Savannah.. Uncle Joe was a loving husband and father. 33311 Tel: 954-779-3669 Fax: 954-779-1194 www.A SPECIAL TRIBUTE Joe Wiseley aka Mr. Stop & Drop lol. Ga. Fort BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 23 . Joe lived out all of his dreams. His idol was his little brother Jack.Bob Custom Bikes of Lauderdale 1260 West Sunrise Blvd. He even got to play on their first CD. On September 7. Thank you. Florida. His two grand children were the love of his life..bikesbeauties..

com .Oksana 24 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www.bikesbeauties.


we get to meet thousands of people. auto part stores and the Orange hardware store until it immolated his love of World War II military history. He is the only biker that ever came straight out without reservation and said. that was low maintenance. “The entire idea of the 26 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 bike started with the desire to build something cool and different.BIKES & BEAUTIES Working the motorcycle scene here in Florida is a phenomenal way to earn a living.bikesbeauties. Not only do we mount our chariots more often than any other place in North America. Downeyman aka Mostro is no different. junk . He started with a completely stock 2002 Suzuki Volusia 800cc stripped it down and reworked it with scraps form eBay. If my memory serves me correctly I met the MOSTRO before I met the Downeyman at Hooter’s on Pines. each their own unique individuals. he does appreciate the sacrifice of those who have. each of them riding what they see as the perfect roller. Although Downey never served. with a rustic look that I don’t have to wash!” In the summer of 2007 Downey spend three months in his backyard building this scoot. www.

40-15 on stock rim • Front tire is a knobby Coker 5.00-+16 on stock rim • Army Canteen saddle bags • Aluminum Floor Board • Exhaust Wrapped Jardine 2-1 headers with custom muffler and rain cap BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 27 .BIKES & BEAUTIES • 16” Ape Hangers with Internal Throttle • Suicide Shifter with Grenade Shift Knob • Cast Iron Tractor Seat • Rear Suspension removed and turned rigid • Rear tire is a car tire: Coker Excelsior 6.

“risk his life on that damn motorcycle. not too many of us feel compelled to shoot ourselves quite as much as Crazy Chris from Harleys Only (954-298-0895) and his Rider. she never understood his need to.” Which is the exact opposite of what my Mother . His favorite saying was.BIKES & BEAUTIES As a child I spent a great deal of time watching my father rocket himself down a quarter mile drag strip.” Me on the other hand I understood completely. “weekends are for racing. It was not about risking his life. Chris Year: 1972 Build Time: 2 Years Make: Harley Davidson Model.bikesbeauties. it was simply his desire to satisfying the adrenaline junkie strapped to his back. Every motorcycle enthusiast has the same vice to some degree whether they realize it or not. Open Pushrod Shovelhead Engine Built by: Crazy Chris Manufactured by: Crazy Chris Size: 114 CI Cam: Jim Leinweber Ignition: Magneto Carb/Inj: S&S Series Carb Transmission Manufactured by: Harley Davidson Speeds: 4 Primary: Premo Final Drive: Chain Frame: Custom Lay Down Frame Rigid Front End Manufacturer: HD 28 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www. We are all seeking the powerful surge that ignites our veins and sends us soaring into fight or flight but.

he didn’t rummage through a catalog or online store to find the “perfect” frame to fit the “perfect” engine. The bike has been done for a few months now and he has yet to make his first pass. Crazy Chris of Harleys Only is certainly one that you never have to worry about falling short.Gille. I don’t know about you. Harleys Only rider. there aren’t too many tracks that hold racing in the daytime and you don’t want to take a new vested bike to a track with a rider and let him make his first pass in the dark!” You got a point there! There are two types of people in the bike industry today. “What’s the hold up?” He said. He started with fabricating the frame. When I asked BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 29 . He builds bikes the old school was with an idea and his two hands. Hopper has been foaming at the mouth in anticipation. BIKES & BEAUTIES www. Stay tuned in the coming months when we feature a few more of Crazy Chris’s creations. then onto the engine and just about everything else.” Chris has been around the South Florida scene for more than thirty years. It took him nearly two years to complete the new rocket. “Well. Instead Crazy Chris built a Harleys Only 114 cubic inch open pushrod lay-down drag bike. but I cannot wait to see how fast this puppy will go. the ones that talk the talk and fall short when it comes to actually walking the walk. aka “Hopper. When he set out to build Flashback.bikesbeauties. Then there are the ones who can actually talk and walk.

“Albert Einstein” So which is it Trial and Error or Insanity? Our decisions are made by a leap of faith and others by intense planning. a genetic mutation unique to her. Please email me what on your mind stories@karmaprogroup. Ben and Angela Ihegboro. www. I jumped by the seat of my pants eager to get out and take over the world only to find out that I had forgotten all my gear at home. or albinism. “Answers. that doesn’t mean they aren’t carriers.bikesbeauties. And yes. It sounds simple. It is not uncommon in Nigeria. you have to have the courage to charge and hope that it has been through trial and error instead of insanity and maybe you’ll catch a break. be good and you will get good back. Albinism.> WWW. but the BBC says Nmachi’s doctors have not ruled it out. Have your Plan A but be willing to modify” -And the definition of insanity is to try something over and over expecting a different result. be sure you can learn and regroup brush off your knees and push forward. Everything that we do is either planned or simply spontaneous? Do we know which one to apply and what’s the right choice? I have chosen both ways. treat each other as we would be treated and to live a full day cause you never know when the good lord is coming for you. after it was all said and done I was at the beginning again just to start all over! Man. a condition whereby a person has little or no color in their I am going to work on packing my gear. I would suggest checking your parachute doesn’t have a tear. can remain dormant in genes for many generations. Be spontaneous and courageous. a lot of experience would start to come into play.karmaprogroup.COM KARMA’S CORNER leap from tall buildings in a single bound. I am not saying that spontaneity is lost or to take a chance is foolish I just think for me. I mean sometimes you could jump off a cliff but. know which road I am on AND then I will 30 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 Just when you think you heard it all. but now I am completely split between not touching a hot stove in fear of getting burned for grabbing the pot and get to . Just because the couple’s living relatives aren’t afflicted by the disease. you must work really hard to know yourself and know your capabilities in order to react in good way. be faithful and loyal and think that every action has a reaction and just because something is not relevant to you does not mean that it is not to someone else. The best we can do for ourselves is to make wise decisions. sometimes. this stuff pops If you don’t. a Nigerian couple living in London just had a baby. hair and eyes. According to the BBC. according to the BBC. In the past spontaneity has gotten me into trouble and not even with ill intent while over thinking it has caused missed opportunity. I say let’s hope the Democrats don’t find out about this one! beergogglesblog. climb Mount Everest and lose my map (well maybe not lose it but tuck it away only to be used in emergency…right guys (Just a stab at the guys and the direction thing). The answer to this puzzle is not. hodge podge. didn’t know where the hell I was going.” The first reports on the family’s strange case had ruled out Karen from Karma “Pay it forward “ BEER GOGGLES BLOG > 5AM RAMBLINGS Trial & Error -As defined on answers. build it they will come. Some might say there is always a chance of getting something good out of a bad www. there are three potential reasons for the baby Nmachi’s unexpected appearance: “dormant white genes which entered both of her parents’ families long ago. it is exhausting using all my energy of youth and over zealous elation to conquer the world wasted all for a lack of a plan. who they named Nmachi. but the kicker in the story is that they are black and the baby is white. As always I enjoy sharing and I look forward to hearing from you. a method of reaching a correct solution or satisfactory result by trying out various means or theories until error is sufficiently reduced or eliminated. Well. checking my chute. I would like to think that at the age I am young.

com On November 13. He was born on the same day as the marine’s birthday. Jason then yelled a warning to his marines! Grenade!! Jason then tried to cover the grenade with his Kelvar helmet and his body. 66 FEET WIDE AND CARRIES 310 CREW. CPL Dunham led his rifle squad to the sound of explosions that turned out to be an ambush on his fellow marines. JASON DUNHAM DDG 109. SHE IS 510 FEET LONG. President George W. “It is fitting then that it was Lincoln who said in the end. THE BREATHTAKING SHIP WAS BUILT IN BATH. including high ranking members of the Navy and Marines. Cpl Dunham then saw five vehicles trying to go around there roadblock. The ship was named for Lance Corporal Jason Dunham who was born in a small town in upstate New York named Sico. MAINE BY BATH IRON WORKS. SEMPER FIDELIS SEMPER FORTIS ALWAYS FAITHFUL ALWAYS STRONG this is the ships motto! CALM SEAS & COLD ALES. November 12. Jason was the 1st marine to receive the nation’s highest military award since the Vietnam War.jamesbalboni. On April 10. Lance Corporal Dunham earned this honor by giving the ultimate sacrifice for his country. Jason Dunham would have been 28 years old this week. With his parents at his side. Amos had this to say. his life! He was also given the Medal of Honor by George W. 2010 I had the honor to attend the commissioning ceremony for the nation’s newest warship. it’s not the years in your life that count it’s the life in your years” Jason Dunham and Abraham Lincoln both died on the same day. There was over 5. TOMAHAWK MISSILES AND TORPEDOS ALONG WITH THE LATEST AEGIS WEAPONS SYSTEMS. they wrestled around.bikesbeauties. He redirected his fire teams to clear out the ambush. Jason Dunhan died eight days later www. The BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 31 . While engaging the enemy his men came under shoulder-launched rocket fire. SHE CAN TRAVEL AT SPEEDS OF OVER 30 KNOTS AND CAN CARRY TWO HELICOPTERS. Four star general and commandant of the marines James F. Bush. 275 SAILORS AND 35 OFFICERS. The event was held here locally at pier 29 in Port Everglades. Iraq. 2004 while on a patrol in Karabilah.S. he stopped the 2nd car when he saw a weapon on the floor.ON THE WATER WITH BIMINI JIM A Marine’s Legacy from his injuries at the Bethseda Naval hospital in Maryland.000 guests present at the port. Bush awarded the nation’s highest military honor posthumously to Jason Dunham. The insurgent lunged out at Jason. BIMINI JIM www.S.

Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew. 5. Cuitlahac. Don’t mind that I have been doing business with your bank for twenty damn years and have made you thousands and thousands of dollars. 21. Pigs love the stuff. www. Eskimo ice cream is neither icy. Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. or creamy. Again I see the light at the end of the tunnel created by Sucktrust and Suckenomics. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards. 2. 19.000 pounds of food. 10. you’ll eat about 60. and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason. 12. 15. 16. 13. Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. My income has been cut in half over the last few years. this call comes at 4pm so I only have an hour to get all the shit together I spend the next hour getting the info only to find that I cannot fax it directly to the woman handling my account (I call her bitch voice). During your lifetime. Well screw them! I’m paying cash for everything! If you want to hurt the banks stop using them! Save and pay cash for whatever you buy! That is the only way we can fight back because god knows our government would rather help the large banks then help the tax payers of America. Now they need some more info and paperwork.It Could Happen to Anyone! Like the large population of this great country I have been hit with the economic down turn and although not as bad as some. 1. except for one flavor: Mint Oreo. So. Babies are born without knee caps. 6.” 8. AKA Sucktrust and after sending in the mountain of paperwork needed for a loan modification I began to get the large company runaround. Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball. 3. 17. So the long and short of the story is I got F#$%cked and my house is now being auctioned so I come up with a large amount of cash to make an offer on my home and try and buy it myself!! I am thinking great! Then I get the good news that there are only four people bidding on the homes. Barbie’s measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Mike CAPTAIN MIKE YOU OUGHT TO KNOW. He changed it every 2 innings. I tried to work with the bank. 14. I again send in all the paperwork and get an offer! I am thinking that God finally good news or so I think! The bank tells me the auction of my property is on hold. it still has hit me hard. thanks a lot Sucktrust.. As a result I found myself in a house that I could no longer afford. So after that crap I decide to try and do a short sell to at least save some of my losses. Of course this is just my point of view. Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy. an IBM-compatible computer wasn’t considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft’s Flight Simulator. This came about two months after the notification of foreclosure. Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under is cap to keep him cool. Then back on. 11. 9. 7. An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes. Ben and Jerry’s send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Of course I immediately call the bank and send them the info they require thinking this is the end of it! Yeah right! Sucktrust calls thirty six hours before the auction. Mind you. Now they make money off of selling my home and suing me for the remainder of the balance. after nine months of trying to get the modification they let me know that I was not eligible for a modification. Capt. 20. I know it takes a lot of planning to pay cash for everything but it is the fastest way to hurt the banks and credit companies. The bank bids $1000 more and my house gets sold. that’s the weight of about 6 elephants. I love the fact that the bank would rather foreclose then work with an owner who has done business with them over twenty years and has always paid his obligations early. then four days before the auction was supposed to happen I get a phone call from the bank. His parents thought he might be retarded. Back in the mid to late 1980’s.bikesbeauties. This custom has become the modern military salute. So I make a bid and it was the max amount I could come up with. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. 18. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. An average person laughs about 15 times a day. 4. So down to the wire I go happy that I am getting to dump the property and cut my losses. Even if you cut off a cockroach’s head.. Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age. it can live for several weeks. whose name meant “plenty of excrement. Einstein couldn’t speak fluently when he was 32 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 . telling me that they need more info.

but if she could spit. Plus you got the five second rule. finish your sandwich and when you are done wait for the fireworks after the flush. I WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING THIS MONTH THAT WAS COMICAL BUT TONIGHT I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO DO IT AND FOR THIS I APOLOGIZE. right? I was not a smart child but I remember the first words I said. I lost my Brother Richard on New Year’s Eve not two years ago. I don’t have a vulva region. Well. Next as you are vacating yesterday’s tacos you expect the pungent scent of victory to start wafting its way through the air overwhelming the sweet smell of the bacon sandwich you have sitting on your thing but it never happens. I got past the warm water stream. You have about five seconds to gather yourself and then the dryer rolls on out from under the seat. Then look at the nifty little control panel and press that button that says Family cleansing. Then you nestle in with a good book and a sandwich and start laying down the law when you notice the seat was not cold.” I didn’t actually say that. you drop the sandwich which is bacon sacrilege but God will forgive you. Notice the optimal 38 degree Celsius water temperature oscillating around all you happy www. Daddy. AND WITH IT EVERYTHING ELSE I HOLD SACRED. I’VE LOST MY DESIRE TO WRITE. the I’m sorry Jesus sweats start. I like it when the babysitter blows warm air on my balls. seriously. you say. and my Father moved on in just the past few weeks. It is probably not a big deal. After all. Personally. I’VE BEEN SAD BEFORE BUT I ALWAYS GOT PAST IT AND LIFTED MY CHIN. Not the kind of thing I would say. True enough but you do have two very thankful warm and wet friends sitting quietly in their pouch ready to black out! Too much. I can’t do it. that’s what! Most people take toilet technology for granted and do not give due diligence to their favorite seat in the house even if they will not admit it. it is my saddest time of the year.WE’LL FEED IT TO YOU WITH A S H O L E J E F F SPOON B Y: A S So the holidays are creeping up upon us once again. one go-round on a TOTO LTD. it was perfect. Woopdy doo! None of this is that impressive. It is not something you can put on paper. hit the bacon clean button on the panel and apologize to the pork God! My goal in life is figuring out how to keep bacon from falling out of a sandwich. BUT TODAY I WATCHED MOVIES I’VE SEEN A THOUSAND TIMES AND THEY BROKE MY HEART! What could ease this pain I feel so deep inside my heart? Simple. I did not title this article load on loose leaf!!! BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 33 . As soon as you enter the room and the Refreshment Center senses which way you are standing and lifts the appropriate lid. just reach down and pull that little strip of pork goodness out of the water. or lid and seat. I said. wait till you try out the massage feature that alternates the water jets between your junk and prostate. You should see the look I get in bars!!! Then your legs flip up and go I’D LIKE TO HIT THAT FROM BEHIND WHILE CHEWING ON A DRUMSTICK!!! places including the Vulva region! Wait. and the left one starts twitching like a puppy getting a belly rub. In our politically correct culture taking a burner is not something that is discussed in social outings or at the dinner table. Your eyes roll back. As sad as that is this will all change once people embrace the joy of a high end refreshment center! So what could possibly be so special. nope. “mom. it stops. It is something special that you need to experience yourself. polish those boys up I would appreciate it. you know times are a changing. Model TCF49IU. How could it know? This little tank of joy has learned your habits and began warming the seat fifteen minutes before you entered.bikesbeauties. you start to lose vision and at the brink of stroking out. First time. So I got a bit off topic and should be talking about the dryer phase. it is just a very expensive shitter Jeff? This is where you are wrong my friends. I couldn’t use the letter R and a lot of other letters until I was sixteen after five years of speech therapy. The super-turtle 5000 has dispensed an aromatic countermeasure which is the only downfall of this marvelous new friend of mine. Mommy. nope.

The cable to the left carb activated the linkage. My bike breaks down on a Saturday afternoon. I checked the fuel petcock. of course. but it was still running. I decided to check for spark by grounding the plug against the cylinder head and kicking the motor over. I did.” To which she replied.” Then “click”. And. and spent their money in New Hope. over the bridge. Eventually though. he cut me off and said again. and first thing out of her mouth was “What happened?” I said. I puttered along the shoulder until I found some shade under a large oak tree at the edge of a cow pasture. The metal cable coming out of the black casing looked fine. “Hunterdon Cycle. RUNNING ON ONE CYLINDER. He hung up. I just told her that only half the engine was working. but stranger things have happened. nobody goes there anymore!” So remembering the small BSA shop in Lambertville. I figured I’d twist the throttle with the plugs out and sniff for gas.” Reminds me of the Yogi Berra-ism. PA. miles from home. and I’d better start looking to locate and diagnose the problem. and he pretty much tells me “GFY. THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN MY 650CC BSA LIGHTNING WAS NOW A 325CC BSA LIGHTNING. I fired up the bike.bikesbeauties. we can go slow!” I decided the safe response was no response.L. she actually knew a little bit less than nothing. No problem. “That place is so popular. where after about a mile or so we came to a Stewart’s Root Beer stand. and it was $4. Instinctively. I decided to fire up the bike. As brilliant as she was academically. I told him my story of the throttle cable breaking. I had a dime. No way I was going to fix a broken throttle cable at the side of the road. “You’ll have to come back Tuesday. THE MOTOR WAS PURRING.” I couldn’t believe my ears! I started to explain my predicament again. my problem had to be fuel. and neither was fouled or wet. but not completely out of line. I’m only 15-20 minutes away. even though Lambertville tried to be the equal of New Hope in drawing tourists. The petcock was. I twisted the throttle and saw the problem. I’ll just have to check all three and hopefully I’ll find something real simple. this guy is a BSA dealer. Checking compression by holding a thumb over each spark plug hole while kicking the motor through again told me both my cylinders had good compression. THE HOT SUN WAS SHINING IN A GORGEOUS BLUE SKY. albeit on one cylinder. the motor does have dual carbs. As a matter of fact. and the cable to the right carb did not move at all. we’re not in any hurry. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I HEAR A CRACK. maybe I’ve got a blocked fuel line or something. so Lambertville gained popularity as “The way New Hope used to be. I thought. find a phone booth. all the while knowing that couldn’t be it. I’m closed. Popping off the top section of the throttle control housing. so the problem must be inside the casing further up or at the throttle mechanism itself. KC So much for the brotherhood. Her reply? “Well. Well. quite a ways from home and asked if he had one in stock. and compression. “I’m closed. let’s go back to basics. “Where did it go?” I had to take a moment and laugh. MY CLUTCH WAS OPERATING PERFECTLY. bound for an enjoyable evening in the quaint old village of New Hope. So hunched down. So by process of elimination. it was always considered the “red-headed stepchild” and people just drove right through Lambertville. He responded. KC'S CORNER TABLE 34 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www. The cable had broken about ¼” away from the cable end. Both were a nice chocolate brown. and worked my way over to the shoulder of the highway. He came back and did have one in stock. how could it be fuel when the motor was still running. But wait a minute. I saw the problem. Good spark on both plugs. For some reason. found the number. Back in those days that area was still farm country. I’m closed?” Ride safe. the sister village to New Hope. THEN A SNAP. on its one working cylinder. I told him we were about 15 or 20 miles away and I would be there in about 20 minutes. Once in the shade. I was S. To simplify things. I could have maybe just wedged something in there as a temporary fix. looking at the motor. . Even so. First I checked the plug wires at the plugs and at the coil. “We lost a cylinder. Susie knew absolutely nothing about things mechanical.O. I got my trusty little tool pouch out from inside the side cover and pulled both plugs. New Hope did become overly commercialized and schlocky. Susie and I hopped off the bike. An engine needs three things to run. so we could be on our way and have some fun the rest of the evening. we were on the road. and one-lunged it down Hwy 202. Being in the left lane I checked my right mirror. however.50. but on the New Jersey side of the Delaware. in the on position.” the guy answers. but being broken. remember that there was a BSA shop in Lambertville. Lot of money for 1969. of course. saw a clear spot. and call the BSA shop and tell him I needed a throttle cable and I’d be there shortly. My next thought was OK. Luckily. he has the part I need. it had a phone booth with a mostly complete Hunterdon/Mercer County phone book. and Susie and I were on the Lightning heading south on Hwy 202. and called the BSA shop.Smooth Sailing It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon in late July of 1969. With the sun glaring down. Had it just pulled out. spark.

broke her hands and ALL of you on two wheels who have a heart. thank god. My Buddy’s Place. Craig’s wife.MySpace.RIDE! Be safe this holiday season and . but. years later. I like the sound of that.bikesbeauties.frontline Charles the Great. Can’t wait to see everyone there. Please. Uli For photos and more event info go to FB . gluehwein. at times.Lotte and T-Bone got hit by an idiot backing out of his driveway onto Stirling. It has been taken over by the previous owner again. a wonderful man. we need to celebrate the living. it’s always one of the highlights of the year. You can mail him: Larry Rivera.O. He works for Thug Custom Cycles as their main mechanic and you may know him from Cafe 27. May 1st.left us. sister and his parents that are all there for support and prayers. a big bear of guy. a fabulous “old school” bartender and all around great guy. I love you. He is such a sweet and kind man who always helps when needed and has a bright smile for everyone he meets. Chit Chat’s is around the corner. man’ rides. a “brother from another mother” to some . etc. Time to be jolly. The guy in the car has no physical problems from it and is free to do it again. We owe it to ourselves. It’s Christmas time. Join ABATE. exciting projects with the company. as well. but they refused to provide the buffet. left knee injury and some we probably don’t know about yet. We were going to have our X-mas party at Hollywood Johnny’s. Next year will be the year of Memorial rides. He still is under heavy sedation and is scheduled for more surgeries. BE THERE. She started sobbing in fear when she saw Charles roll up with all his tatts and beautiful “Runner” with the handshift . Her daddy came to pick her up in a new Lexus and didn’t even ask if I had gotten hurt. Ernie. always a nice place to stop by and hang out for a bit. BUT. way North and way South. a brother. new plugs. You all ROCK! Please. and Donnie & Debbie’s wedding DVD. She survived. Larry will be in ICU for at least 6-8 weeks with a long rough road to recovery. T-Bone has major back problems and there’s no end in sight. cookies and turkey. Having said that. FL 33307 or ‘visit’ him online: www. starting at 8pm-ish. He’s leaving a gaping hole in our hearts. Stratford’s. Poorhouse. the driver disappeared. like Flossie’s. The chain of cager caused wrecks isn’t ending. Looking very much forward to new. who could avoid a head-on collision with a pre-occupied driver in a white careening van only by escaping into a driveway and crashing into the fence. Sweeney’ ALL my NMHFI brothers and the girls. Don’t forget to support your local and new hangouts. to see new and old places.a soul and a backbone. Winter solstice. yes. take pictures and action . our families and friends and the ones who aren’t with us anymore. baked apples. aside from our ‘usual’ places closer to home. She still suffers greatly. also while you’re driving a cage. He likes his stuff to be different. headed by Mike Shoemaker. Frenchy. his BIRTHday. JW and a long list of wonderful. over a year later. I’m working on it. Does the driver miss a beat? NO! I could kick myself for letting the teenage girl in a brand new Jeep get away with a stern ‘talking to’ after she rear-ended me at a red light. phenomenal. man. ask for them at your favorite watering holes. Hurricane. great people.we’ll have a blast as always. Cagney’s. See flyers and events page for details. Denise is posting updates as she knows them. So many awesome. Without you. Thanks to Hudson’s moonshine in part.almost every bone in her body. and the people we love and lost. tp a Close. We MUST go up on the barricades. always a smile. x-mas lights. and where they LOVE to have us at Sweeney’s on 3200 W Hallandale Beach Blvd in Hallandale on December 11th. here we come. 8pm until whenever. com/NMHFI Bringin’ 2010 Bringin’ 2010 to a ready to take down BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 35 . freshly changed oil in your motor. always a kind word. the dice rolled on some more of us. as well as up from Homestead .searchbox nmhfi@aol. while they were riding with their club. yule. insanely cool and productive NEW YEAR! RIDE. great Dave.I thank you from the endless bottom of my heart. wanted us to pay full price for their new catering menu ($60 for ONE pan of Ziti . suddenly and completely unexpectedly. Our love and hearts go out to his daughters Harley Ann and Dakota and all his loved ones. hosted a wonderful. 2011. to feed everyone) .‘nuff keep him in your prayers and thoughts! Just think. Well. Denise is so wonderful. or maybe ‘I love you.we’d need 4 at least. the bike got damaged or saying ‘thank yoü for letting her go”. Watch for of the DIRTY WHITE BOYS. Big to especially Woody. LOL! Thanking Modest Mike in advance for all his long hours of putting our pictures together on one of our special NMHFI event DVDs. needs another surgery. healthy. December. didn’t allow us to bring our own food alternatively and. Courtesy and all Rights Reel Riders Film & TV Werks. the bartenders and THE MUSICIANS! A tough breed. Poppy. he hit the truck very hard to sustain the injuries he has. Cagney’s and the Dirty White Boys. I’m very grateful to have you all in my life. unforgettable people. deeply loved ones that makes your heart choke. that! And.looking at the bright side. on the 11th. Went riding outside my usual roaming grounds last month. to ULI the UNRULY www. band. It’s the season when we reflect on our lives. Frenchy’s run is planned for Sunday. you can see the posts on her FaceBook page under Denise Giguere. USMV MC. Box 70571. prisoners. Our friends and brothers come down all the way from Daytona and beyond. the works. go. we quickly found a different place that is convenient to reach for everyone. Larry’s girlfriend Denise is right there by his side during all of this. big memorial for him. keep on looking out for and caring for each other. Larry Rivera was on his way home Monday night. also. They are all so dearly missed. Churchill’s.Time for reflection. from the injuries she sustained that day. Totally like Mickey’s in Pompano.Miami Rick made a beautiful urn out of a Harley cylinder head for him. so many friends came together . We had to say our farewells to Joe Boss.I felt badly for her and I called the cops off. if you can. Laurie Covert Hirst put together a brilliant memorial DVD with so much love. Last year wasn’t one I’d like to see repeated. it would have been more than challenging. It was refreshing and lifted my spirits. I am more than ever determined to cause and support a major stir in regards to traffic laws involving reckless cagers hitting bikes. the smell of fir. beginning with the traditional “Booger Run” in mid-January.. Our Annual NMHFI X-mas party is coming up this month. Fort Lauderdale. my mother and it goes on with Vinnie.. That was 15 MONTHS AGO and Lotte’s Knee is STILL swollen and handicapped. Nov 15th. plus something meaty. our ‘survival’ and the lives of the “Never Forgotten”. some fractured vertebra in his neck and back. When I come calling on you to participate. how sad life would be without them. He has a beautiful 8-year old daughter. instead. just two blocks from his place when a black truck made a left turn in front of him and he had to lay the bike down and from what we know. Food. He has some very serious injuries including a shattered pelvis.we’ll be riding more than ever! Hopefully even get paid for it! May we ALL get PAID ROYALLY next year!! Have a happy. meet new and old friends. The Nitecap has lost another superb bartender. of course. our Paulie and Old Man Garry. It’s been a wonderful year with my family. Look out for fellow bikers. Whatever you can do to help Larry is very much appreciated by all of them. I’m good. I think we should rename them ‘Forget-Me-Not’ Rides. com or www. Same goes for sweet Robin. Not his day of parting. caringbridge. most discouraging. It’s gonna be the first anniversary of losing Patty. JW .what a nice and well liked man. Next Year. loved by all. Remember my rant last month? Well. friends and brothers . internal injuries. like our summer birthday party. have a beer or 4 and support them. planned for the 16th.

who assassinated Lincoln. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson. Both assassins were known by their three names. was born in 1939. John Wilkes Booth. who succeeded Kennedy. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Andrew Johnson.. Both Presidents were shot in the head.. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.bikesbeauties. Lincoln s secretary was named Kennedy. Now hang on to your seat. who succeeded . Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘ Lincoln ‘ made by ‘Ford’. was born in 1908. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Lyndon Johnson. Lincoln was shot at the theater named ‘Ford’.if they can! Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. Lee Harvey Oswald. John F.CRAZY-BIZARRE-WACKY-WIERD Have a history teacher explain this. Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. Both names are composed of fifteen letters. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater. Kennedy’s secretary was named Lincoln. who assassinated Kennedy. was born in 1839. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. John F. WHO FIGURED THIS OUT? 36 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www. was born in 1808. Now it gets really weird.

it’s time to do the metal. there is a great product made by S100 called Polishing Soap. I have had great success with a household gel bathroom cleaner with bleach and a Chore Boy plastic scrubber. it’s easy on your hands. YOU WILL SCRATCH THE PAINT WITHOUT ONE). and move to next section. the whitewalls were snow white. we scream along on highways and back roads. we hit bugs. salt air. Steve. I put my bags down and the cups keep the bags from falling or moving around when they are wet and soaped up. use a good chrome polish. and leaf blowers do not and can suck up something and spit it at your bike! OUCH! When you are all dry. and they will rust. Let’s Keep It Clean Please! SERVICE WITH STEVE-O OK. There are several excellent “whitewall” automotive cleaners as well. I am not a fan of leaf blowers for this. it’s easier to stay on top of it. Don’t worry about getting the bike all wet. get them off too. They make a whole line of outstanding cleaning products such as Sunwash which is specifically formulated to not leave water marks if you happen to miss a bit of water somewhere. Take off detachable items like windshields. waxed. your bucket. exhausts. should have gotten black walls last tire replacement but they are nowhere as pretty! Some folks including our shop use good old Brillo pads. I know. I split each side into 3rds. Again. black cases tend to look flat after many miles and washes. HANDMIT. and open up the can of carnauba wax. and I am off to the fridge for another!! RIDE SAFE & CLEAN!. up inside fenders. cases done. I wash. my favorite part. rocks. time to…. AND A GOOD QUALITY BIKE DRYER (GOOD IDEA TO PLUG IT IN BEFORE YOU TURN ON THE WATER). and a good wax will keep those terrible items at bay! A side note. frosty is gone. underneath. the chrome was gleaming. go to your local Automotive Supply Store and select a good quality cleaning soap. and www. Pay attention to in and around the engine. If you do not have access to the HD products. I work for Harley-Davidson. so when they splat on our paint it’s bad news. I spare no expense on wax.. and I know I am doing right by my scoot. pull up my rolling stool. take a foam brush and apply CRC’s Powerlube. the part where I open a frosty. sand. Bike washed. It’s really important to get that stuff off ASAP.bikesbeauties. metal done. My only problem with them is they are “steel” wool and can leave “steel” particles behind. available at your grocery store. and the dryer has a handle so I can walk around the bike while I dry her off.. STEVE-O BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 37 . ONE OF THOSE ROLLING STOOLS MECHANICS USE. it is non-abrasive. Keep the bike wet as you wash. I try to do mine at least once a month. all chrome. especially black cases. I also have a cool little kit that has a wand with several different tips that help me get the microfibers into tight spots. BELIEVE ME. keep chrome polishes away from engine cases. products with bleach can cause yellowing. Aaaaahhh bike washed. and microfiber cloths to wax off. I have them all in my garage because I am a sucker for that stuff. RUBBER PROTECTED SPRAY NOZZLE (PROTECTS YOUR PAINT WHEN HOSING OFF AROUND YOUR PAINT. was good! But now. make motorcycle specific products. and soak your bike down. the thrill is NOT gone. Now. front end. backrests.oopps. Yeah. etc. that shine is back. dried. looking good but those whitewalls. bugs have wicked enzymes in their DNA. what do ya think happens in the rain? I have one of these dryers with a real long hose.. and your wash solution. I use the damp sponge applicator to wax on. they always have exotic or muscle cars on them! Or. you can’t miss them.Remember the day you took your scoot home. While the bike is wet. rinse. my dryer has a filter on it. so wash regularly. First let’s remind you that the bike should be cool. rear wheel/fender/exhaust. it was soooo shiny. It restores the cases and does not wash off right away. SPONGE. handlebars/engine/tank. I have a couple of those suction cup vinyl bathmats that I lay on the ground cups up . Rinse well if you use Brillo pads or the gel cleaner. several thousand miles later she seems to have lost some of that luster? Well let’s look at a few ways to put the shine back in your life! SOME ITEMS OF CLEANING TOOLS YOU SHOULD HAVE: BUCKET W/ HANDLE. Speaking of those cases. there are several excellent companies that like HD. excellent for wheels. and a word of caution. let me grab the dish soap… please tell me you do not do that! How much did you spend on your bike?? and you are going to use dish soap?? NO! NO! NO! Remember gang. Get your hose. where to start. go on-line. it smells great. open the hose up. they will stain and never come off. and if you have saddlebags.

former Dolphins Coach Don Shula said what’s so often forgotten in sports. making him the most consecutively successful driver over any such stretch in NASCAR history. for Marc’s latest blogs ‘Like’ us on Facebook: facebook. wreck or blow” driver in unreliable equipment.SPEAKING SPORTS There are legends in auto racing – there is even a chosen king – Richard Petty. “No matter the rules. there were three or four cars that would win a race and two or three that could win the season championship. Johnson and the Hendrick Motorsports Team of which he’s a part – just play as one unit and win. -and all the engine checks and specification checks. No fuss. so great were his advantages in power. they simply just played as a team and won. Team Owner Rick Hendrick says back when he started in NASCAR in 1984. Johnson’s five NASCAR big-league series title put him second all-time behind Petty and Earnhardt’s seven. This should not be happening in a sport where the car rules and regulations. he puts that number at fifteen that can win mat a www. Put Junior Johnson #1 for being the ultimate “win.” What Shula didn’t say but. looking for the right time to pounce into the lead position. How can anyone argue that Jimmie Johnson is not the most dominant in any one field of sport today? Dynasty’s were not suppose to happen in NASCAR. And the chase format resets the top twelve drivers for the last run of races. letting the other drivers make the tactical mistakes. was implied – was whoever that somebody is deserves historical credit for dominating an era. even last race when at one point Johnson’s PA crew looked like it should have been working carnival bumper-cars.IF YOUR DISCUSSION OF BEST NASCAR DRIVER IN HISTORY DOESN’T INCLUDE JIMMIE .hoisting his NASCAR Championship Cup – it is simply apparent to all and not just in NASCAR – you can check the sports almanac there is not any decent “team dynasties” in any of the four other major sports! But yet. This last race there was almost delight among the media corps when Johnson showed a little gamesmanship by reminding series leader – Denny Hamlin he had something to lose. the safety procedures. one man – with his crew team stands alone in his sport. both things that elevated Earnhardt’s status beyond his brilliance behind the wheel. Johnson doesn’t have the gruff country macho swagger that appeals to a large portion of NASCAR’s core fans nor does he do anything that riles his competition and fans of other drivers. has somehow gotten an edge. only two other drivers have overcome a point deficit in the final race to win a NASCAR major-league series tile – Alan Kulwicki in 1992 and Petty in 1979.when Johnson stood up for the fifth straight time . but Johnson and his crew just simply beat the system – the old fashioned way – “They were simply better . Quarterback and maybe the best clutch kicker of all-time.bikesbeauties. You want to cut at Johnson’s success because he’s driving for an owner who won five series titles in the eleven years before Johnson began to run. Albeit from a football aspect – Back in 2004. They’ve come in five consecutive seasons.and faster. WHATEVER. Those New England teams lacked Hall of Fame superstars except the Coach. Today. are seemingly enforced – for the sake of non-cheating. Johnson’s crew climbed steadily in the race. You can rank em any way you want. Johnson found himself well behind the other two chase contenders. as Johnson and his 38 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 NASCAR’s Jimmie Johnson is Now Americas Most Dominate -AthleteWins Record 5th Straight Chase Title crew kept the pace. somebody always figures it out better than somebody else. AFTER LAST WEEK’S FINAL NASCAR CUPS RACE TO NAME ITS CHAMPION . as New England rolled to nineteen consecutive wins on the way to its third Super Bowl title in four years during a salary cap era that was suppose to kill dynasties.” Marky Marc 560 WQAM Radio *Hey Dolphins Fans. how is it possible that one driver – can emerge so clearly from the pack? How can Jimmie Johnson and is crew team forming a “dynasty” in a sport where all the “teams” share so much of the same blueprints for success? It’s obvious that one team – Johnson’s. Incidentally. The perennial champion won’t tell you how good he is – but at the end of the chase . Put Dale Earnhardt on top for winning across two different NASCAR eras. IT’S AUTOMATICALLY ILLEGITIMATE. Then take a chunk out of Petty’s greatness for the years his Plymouth or Dodge belonged in its own series. But. So.

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. Alabama. Georgia. If a bra had been necessary. all his redneck buddies told him he was a lock to get this job at Wal-mart. Where exactly does one buy a short pink outift like this to beef shop in? Alpharetta. I gotta get me that outfit!! Mobile. Alabama. bisexual. then by golly you best be on guard! The squeezer. Kentucky. Is that a thong Ollie Hopnoddle is wearing? I can’t look again or I’ll go blind! Unfortunately. Alabama. Is that former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker’s wife or is that Paul Volcker? And men claim they can’t meet classy women in stores? Go figure! Atmore. Incense Berkowitz color coordinated her reusable shopping bag to match her shoes.. the only strap working on this entire outfit is the one holding that hideous hair in place. “Dueling Banjos” suddenly starts playing from out of nowhere.HA ha HA ha HA T PAR Sarasota. Who lets these people out of the house un-championed? Destin. Seattle. Austin.bikesbeauties. did it appear to anyone else that Gisella’s dog is coming out her butt? Orem. so I made your horn louder... Mesmerized here at the Wal-mart Hiring Center . BINGO!!!! There you will see a picture of dear old flaming Lester in his boots. I call a new rule at Wal-mart: If the hole in your jeans is big enough for me to slip my hand inside and sneak a little squeeze. Is it even legal to sell that shade of pink? I love the way Ms. leggings... heterosexual. provided he can remember not to smoke weed or drink beer during the job interview. if you look up the word ‘Transgender’ in the dictionary. do you think for one second it would have been any color other than SHRIEKING PINK?? Birmingham. retains the right to either squeeze or not to squeeze! 1! Glendale. or asexual. Florida. fill in anything. California. Washington. I’ve never seen Agerton in heels.” Besides. if I told you there is a picture where purple hair is the least weird thing going on. pansexual. Pinetop thinks this is his lucky day because his mechanic called an hour ago and said. is that a man or a woman or is Lester Flem back in the store? Laguna Niguel. Still. California. However. I have to assume that no matter where Zebulon goes. would you believed me? Honestly. because nothing we say will make any sense. California. “I couldn’t fix your brakes. True. however. Utah. So. Apparently. purse. Texas. Holy Golden Illusions of Grandeur. Packing this rear in camouflage shorts is like trying to hide an elephant behind a squirrel.. For some reason. On first glance. this is either a crossdressing nautical Popeye enthusiast OR. BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 45 .. It really doesn’t matter. Louisville. Los Angeles. shirt. Agerton?. Lester Flem doesn’t know whether he’s homosexual. earrings and necklace.well. Is that you? What do you expect me to say? That’s exactly what he looks like from the rear. Florida. polysexual. Alabama. Mountain Brook. www. .46 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www. BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 47 .www. .48 BIKES & BEAUTIES • DECEMBER 2010 www.

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