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com How To Talk To Women The Reference Guide © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Product ions, LLC. ----------------------- Page 2----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com MODULE 1: Foundation & Secret Keys Hey, It’s Carlos Xuma, welcome to the How to Talk to Women Program. We’re also going to go into the flow of conversation and then each module after that, so let’s get started right away. What we’re going to talk about in this program is the How to Talk to Women Concept because it’s such a big question for guys. I see it all the time, every time I open up an e-mail it says, “Hey, how do I talk to women in this situation and on that situation?” So, I’m going to give you the key understanding both from the internal point of view as well as a technique point of view, exactly how to talk to women in just about every step of the way. So there’s two parts that I want to talk about, I want to talk about the overview of the concept. The first is the foundation, let’s expand on this just a little bit. The foundation, meaning, your alpha lifestyle is going to be the major underpinning, how you feel when you go in and you do when you talk to women, and by alpha lifestyle, I mean these are the factors that contribute to your feeling of masculinity and feeling of having your own strong, wellgrounded lifestyle. When you have—let me ask you this, “If you were, let’s just say Brad Pitt, it doesn’t matter that he’s hooked up to Angelina Jolie or not, you think that Brad Pitt, by virtue of his lifestyle, the things he does in his life, his famil y, his health, his wealth, his time, his career, his job as an actor, the image he portrays, the life passions, all that stuff, do you think that that helps him feel confident going into any conversation with a woman?” He didn’t just instantly become Brad Pitt, the millionaire, successful movie star, he had to have the feelings before he realized the financial success and the social success he does right now, so the feelings of confidence you have before you go into an approach are going to be fully responsible for how much success you get on the other end. So these are the components that make up an alpha lifestyle and this is what comprises how strong you feel, with just one moment before you walk up and start talking to a woman or even when you’re in a conversation with a woman, these factors play into what you talk about, how you talk about © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 1
----------------------- Page 3----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com things with her, so this is kind of like the undercurrent of your confidence and your feelings of self-esteem when you talk to women. Family, obviously your family, the people that you’re related to, how well you’re relating to them. Do you have family issues that are eating away at you from the inside out? These are going to pull you down as well as pull you back up. Your health, are you a healthy person, are you fit, are you in shape? If you’re not, again it’s going to work one way or the other, on one of the scales are working for you on the other, it’s going to be pulling you down and making you feel less confident. You’ve got to make sure that all these are pulling in the same direction. Wealth, how do you feel about your money? Your time, your career and your job, your image, your life passion, your friends, your hobbies and activities, your home and your transportation—yeah, your car and where you live make a difference. All these factors including your visions and strategies you have for your life as well as the life that you potentially want with another woman, all these things are rolled up into what I call the Alpha Lifestyle. Now, once you have all those elements and you realize that you still have to address everyone of those. Let’s get on to the next part. Let’s talk about the foundation of talking with women and then where you feel the most pain is very often what affects your conversations with women the most. So any one of these lifestyle elements here, whether it’s your family, whether it’s your health, your money, your time, and whatever it is in here that is most painful to you in any given time is going to be affecting your conversation with women, remember that, because it’s very important and you’ve got to know it and recognize that ironically, the best topics for rapport are the ones that are the areas of pain in your lifestyle, those are the ones that create the feeling of connection with her because she’s going to see vulnerability. She’s going to sense a certain level of humanity and connection from you by virtue of the fact that you recognize that one of these—the family, the health the wealth or something bothering you and knowing how to talk about it, and we’re going to talk about that in this program. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 2 ----------------------- Page 4----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com And going down here to the strength of your personality, the strength of your personality is what supports your game. How strong is your personality? If your personality were to be turned physical form, in the form of a body, would your strength look like a skinny 98lb weakling or would it look like Arnold Schwarzenegger back when he was the buffest, biggest guy in the planet? That’s how it affects your game and your conversations with women as well. The strength of your personality is very important and when I’m telling you here is, “Be certain about most everything.” Alright? The certainty is how
women see and kind of intuitively grasp your sense of confidence when you’re in a conversation, now I don’t mean certainty to a point of being dumb and obstinate, I’m talking about certainty in terms of knowing how sure you are about things in your life and how sure you are in going to a certain direction? I don’t have to be sure that I know the exact fuel consumption of the SR71 Blackhawk, that’s dumb, that’s a factual thing that no one will care about and probably, no most guys and probably airplane geeks will believe me but being certain about the important things in life, being certain about where you stand, ethical-moral stands—things like that. Very important to how you build up this foundation when you’re talking with women, so be very clear about this, being certain about things in your life is a very important part of a conversation that we hold with women. So one key element, what do I mean by that? There’s really only one key element into any conversation with a woman, when you’re talking with women, there’s one thing to focus on, I know that you probably have a dozen models that tell you about attraction that has comfort that, rapport on this and seduction that—don’t worry about it. The one thing you work on with a woman is connection and you do it by the virtue of a push and pull dynamic and that’s a lot of what we’re talking about in here. We’re going to talk about how conversations flow, the things to do when you run out of conversation are very important for guys. Story telling. How to make women laugh, those are energy tools. Handling phone conversations, as well as electronic communication, texting with women, and tools that you can use—these are all things that we’re going © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 3 ----------------------- Page 5----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com to be covering in this program, but they’re all built into this connection of push-pull. What’s in there? Well, with that we have these three elements that we talk about frequently, I think most guys are used to hearing about this, there’s energy excitement, there’s qualification and there’s rapport and comfort— these are the three biggies, these are the three subcomponents of how you build that connection in using the push-pull energy. Energy and excitement. Here’s energy and excitement. Energy and excitement, as it relates to you, in other words when you are talking with a woman, the energy and excitement in that conversation should be related back to you, it shouldn’t just be her having fun. There are ways that are kind of leaching on of a woman having fun in other ways, in other words you’re both on a rollercoaster ride. Is the fun really related to you? No. You’re on a rollercoaster which is going up and down and zooming around on the corkscrew, right? But, by virtue of the fact that you might be holding her hand while she’s experiencing this extreme visceral sense of fun, it becomes a way for you to kind of draw in the same energy, it’s a very important fact and most guys don’t know how to use that to their benefit. Unfortunately, they often do it to
com energy is no longer friendship energy. Story telling. 4 ----------------------. You communicate a lot by effectively using story telling. Touch is very important. “This guy. I used to write fiction. So what are the excitement elements of attraction here that we’re talking about? First of all there’s fun.” You can sense that in the change in © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. And of course there’s teasing. LLC.” you know that’s a pleasant shock. And here. We can’t resist a story. I’m going to talk about that in this particular module is going to determine quite a bit on how she learns about you. laughing is your measuring stick.” That sort of thing tells you. it’s working.” I start conversations like that and she’s going to be listening because she’s got to know that story. Banter in a sense that pleasant shock is your measuring stick. She should be reaching out and touching you in some way. physical contact is the measuring stick. You’re looking for physical contact from her initiated by her. you know the slap you on the arm and going. to get a woman to start touching you. “Stop.CarlosXuma.their detriment as well. it’s how you determine how well you’re doing when you’re teasing. She should be doing. A long time back. A long time back. not “Oh” which is an unpleasant shock. “Uh. right? But your use of touch. Teasing is slightly different from banter. women more so than anybody . If you’re teasing her right and you’re teasing her correctly and you’re keeping the social pressure out. I can’t believe you said that. not the other way around. you’re back and forth and you’re just having fun. It’s what we call Keno. Pleasant shock is you’re back and forth. how you touch a woman in any conversation is also very important. It’s got that special chemistry. It was interesting because I learned so much about why and how human beings are so drawn to stories. I’m having an effect. How much is she laughing? How much is she giggling? How much is she genuinely bubbling enjoying herself? There’s banter. “Oh my God. they tend to go into situations where there’s negative emotions and the woman associates those with him. she’s got to know what happened. This is where it’s very important. Touch.Page 6----------------------www. I studied fiction and I still have all of my books in my bookshelf over here on how to create effective stories and plotlines. in other words. OK. came up to me and you wouldn’t believe what he said to me. Sexual innuendo is another form of energy and excitement in conversations you need to use. particularly in this situation. teasing back and forth and she has that look of. it’s something more. The second you walk up to somebody and start telling them a story. She’s starting to feel the drama that the situation in the head. You’ve got to look at her and see how much is she going.
“I don’t want to be overrated. LLC. humor itself is highly overrated as a tool for attraction and what we call pick-up or seduction. Humor. I want to tell you right now. the more you use humor within the conversation. you’ve got to be like Jerry Seinfeld to make a woman really turned on but the fact is. it goes back to what I was saying. and it works because women are looking for a reason to laugh. not being too serious.CarlosXuma. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. A slightly used humor. First of all. The specific places and ways that you use humor and I’m going to talk about that in the humor module in this program. If you’ve taken any of my programs.Page 7----------------------www.com . There’s jokes. I encourage you to try to be original but it doesn’t need to be. LLC. what I think you should do is to focus on staying lighthearted. you’d know that power questions are essential components and as one my unique skills that I teach guys. it’s not a big deal. That is what makes humor work in the long run for you. OK? It’s an ethical stealing. I went for years where I would do nothing more than kind of relive classic Eddie Murphy skits or jokes that are heard before or just kind of recycled humor. if you don’t feel like you’re a funny guy. “Steal as much funny as you need. A lot of guys would like to tell you that you need to be this super comedian. Limit your use of humor in conversations.” Instead. it works. 5 ----------------------. You can totally build out an unbelievable amount of sexual tension by the effective use of power questions. They don’t care if it’s slightly used. There are various forms of humor to raise up this energy and excitement.else. or as you know as far as humor needs to be original.” Nothing you say. 6 ----------------------.com Nobody else teaching this as quite as I do because power questions control not only the conversation and the flow of conversation but they control the energy of that conversation. the less actually the women will feel rapport with you over the long term. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.Page 8----------------------www. OK? Which means. you know like a slightly used car. it does not matter. steal as much as you need.CarlosXuma. too heavy within a conversation. How to be funny with women? I’m going to cover that with some segment here. Keep in mind the jokes that they’re great and the best part about them is that you can steal as much funny as you need. You don’t need as much as you think you might need. And we’re going to talk about those in this program as well. I just want to say. So I always encourage guys. That’s a big topic. Power questions.
CarlosXuma. because a woman can sense this more than anything else. he’s setting himself up for failure. you feel like you deserve her. I can find a cute chick anywhere. you’re thinking. You’ve got to be picky. Qualification is discretion and pickiness. do not try to fake qualification. The next is qualification. You’re a little young. Skepticism and doubt is another part of the qualification. it’s how picky you are about who it is and you’re going to be involved with emotionally. I doubt you could match what it is that I’m looking for in a woman.com away and pull is pulling her in.” And that really destroys the emotions and the attraction for the woman will feel for you. So we’re not going to go into much detail about that here. which actually I think is more correct of the two. Qualification is where you kind of pushing around her way a little bit saying. I’m going to talk about techniques like this and real ways that you can use humor in the humor section. back and forth. that you’re not serious. how you use it within a conversation.Your best use of humor is not so much of telling jokes as it is. there’s energy and excitement. if a man is not selective about a woman he is choosing into bringing into his life. “Oh my God. casting or not whether or not you deserve a good woman. sexually. I don’t want to joke or do anything that might risk it. So there you go. I cannot mess this up. It’s difficult to find that difference. you don’t feel deserving. And the easiest use of humor of course is just simply exaggerating into the extreme. I cannot tell you this enough. So I’m going to stay on a very serious plane. Very important.” Dude. will go into a conversation with women. I would so do her. If in the back of your head. “I don’t know. you’re cute but you know. because if you—as what he’s doing. back and forth. some people say that push is pushing her © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. romantically.” Do you see that attitude that I’m having there? You’ve got to communicate in this within your conversations with women. they’ll talk with women but they’re talking from the standpoint of. OK? Push. when you talk to them. whatever it may be. I might as well pull away. pull. I’m skeptical. is I’m pushing myself towards her. You can tell when somebody is just taking what they can get as opposed to what they deserve. this is so serious. But you get the idea. LLC. “I don’t care what this chick says. having a light sensation to you. This qualification portion is a lot of the pull. . if you’re just taking her with no questions asked. pulling away.Page 9----------------------www. Basically. qualification mentality that you have when working in this whole connection sequence of push-pull. that you’re not being dire. These are guys that are not having the success they want with women. Don’t fake this. 7 ----------------------. you feel desperate.
alright? Story telling is also another form of qualification. it won’t come through in your words. “I don’t know. There is deep rapport and deep comfort where you obviously want to go with a woman. this is where you’re looking for and trying to establish commonalities. to the different norm. someone you know that you both know in common. she doesn’t feel that you’re her boyfriend to sleep with you. were talking about one big concept here. Story telling you can use in any part of the sequence. Then there’s the superficial kind of rapport and comfort.Page 10----------------------www. I would totally go to bed with her. it’s not genuine. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. that’s what a woman wants to feel. You’re not going to be the same man anymore when you stop accepting the bullshit that people throw at you start raising yourself up to the standard.CarlosXuma. it changes your attitude completely. Rapport and comfort. All this stuff trickles up to this diagram I’m showing you here into the . connection.com You have to use questions effectively within the conversations. LLC. she has to feel connection though. when you have limits. Story telling is another way you can prove or demonstrate to her that you do have discretion when it comes to women and it might also find a way of communicating to her whether or not she should be thinking about it. when you have a threshold of acceptability within your life. You read any good Tony Robbins book and he talks about this. You can use them in a little bit but your big focus here needs to be not on the superficial but on the deep side where you have shared emotional states. 8 ----------------------. it’s because of how you’re going to feel inside when you have standards. She doesn’t need to feel devotion. things like. you cannot fake qualification and it’s not just the results you’re going to get with her. Power questions. Rapport and comfort is where a lot of guys think of being under staged. It’s the only way to establish a really powerful connection. the power of questions themselves cannot be underestimated. Connection. You need it to be sincere. Commonalities are very weak form of rapport building and I encourage you to avoid them wherever possible. but then you’re on the outside and you’re trying to fake it and going. The power of questions is unimaginable because it controls everything.there’s nothing she could say that would make me want not to sleep with her. So that’s why I’m going to focus a special segment on that alone. no matter what she says. This is where you share an emotional state. things like that. where you went to school. I’ll talk about that later on in storytelling. again. the questions. I mean. Rapport and comfort is simply another form of connection. connection. The person who’s asking the questions controls the conversation. you’re cute and all but what else you’ve got going for you?” She will sense that it’s not true.
. Especially at the very impactful moments of story telling where you might have something. what she’s trying to do is lower that person’s emotional state and get it closer to her. it’s very hard to have different emotional states. it may seem silly at the time but you get my point. this is what we tend to think as attraction. And then. Touch is another way of establishing rapport and comfort. that ‘s another way of saying. all of that power comes into one point.connection. energy and excitement. That’s your best way. you can’t do it. Don’t listen to anybody that tells you that you have to do things at a certain order. a big bang. OK? Maybe. I’m going to try and make a connection with you. It’s not necessary to follow this like a blueprint. “OK. 9 ----------------------. So again. “I think you’re a possibility. OK. this where inner versus outer game thing. It’s a very effective tool and you need to use this in conversations as well. Because when you’re touching somebody. When you’re using all three together. story telling appears here on the rapport and comfort because there’s no better way of establishing rapport and comfort with a woman than telling a really powerful story about yourself that connects with her. it’s like your activation energy.Page 11----------------------www. if you’re thinking of a classical pick-up parlance. yes I would encourage you to get the energy and excitement started upfront. You have a stronger attitude overall and your conversation works much better too. And rapport and comfort. Again. “I’m choosy.” I think of qualification as being more inner game because when you have qualifying questions in your head and reason why you want to dismiss somebody from being a possibility in your life. (laugh). And again. Powerful. Women use it to establish control in conversations as well as level set emotions. LLC. these three elements. Qualification. When a woman reaches out and touches another woman or touches a guy. You use qualification before rapport and comfort because you’re saying here and your qualification. it’s like having a main trunk of electric wire coming together in one junction. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this fact but you know when somebody’s crying and you’re hugging them. and you want her to feel it and you touch her at the same time when you say it. Ah. Then you can slip into a little bit of qualification and then go into rapport and comfort.CarlosXuma. power questions.” Alright? So that’s why you put qualification there.” Rapport and comfort is the next state of. let me see if you are. maybe. So focus on deep rapport.com Women do it as a way to bring emotional states into equilibrium or at least pull them closer together. If you’re going to follow it like a blueprint. powerful technique. you look like you’re acceptable. being the stage where your trying to stabling more deeper in a sense of connection. it’s hard for you to be like. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.
“I don’t know. Everybody probably has taught you.CarlosXuma. in your job you’ve probably been taught this. Think of Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan. Most people have been taught to believe that they need to work on their weaknesses.CarlosXuma. work on them.com What happened? It didn’t work for him. I’ve been reading a book quite recently and I want to share with you. it’s a big misconception. that you need to be working on the areas that you’re not as good. family probably talked this. Pick them up to an adequate level but don’t ever believe that your weaknesses will ever be your strengths because they won’t. something of that effect. 10 ----------------------. I want to emphasize this little fact here. he decided to leave was an incredible star. this is what Michael wanted to do for himself. proved himself time and into baseball. So there you go. of course by all means. what way back when. 11 ----------------------. The best possible use is where you take your strength and you just put all your energy behind your strengths because that is going to skyrocket your success more than anything else. my example for this. he was sincere about this. Wherever it is that you’re doing your best right now. an incredible time again and decided he wanted to go Well he didn’t make the Major Leagues so he went back on to the Minor Leagues. he didn’t care what other people thought which I totally salute him for but at the same time. LLC. when in fact that’s the worst possible use of your time. Get behind your strengths. if you have some weaknesses that just needs to be fixed. that’s why your qualification goes there. you have to keep in mind that. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. in the long term. I don’t know if © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. those are the critical elements of the overall process of how to talk with women and how to build attraction and the right kind of connection with women. where he could . you know with my flight all the time?” That would feel weird. I’m going to give this as a resource for this program. when in fact your success lies in your strengths. what did he end up doing? He went back to basketball where he was a star.Page 12----------------------www. And what they talk about the program is you’re are going to waste a lot of time in your life trying to make your weaknesses build up to the level of your strengths. it’s called Now Find Your Strengths and Weaknesses. Use your strengths and the same time.Page 13----------------------www. LLC. this is did he do? Well you may remember professional basketball where he athlete.If it feels weird to go through energy and building up the energy in a conversation and then building and establishing a strong sense of rapport with a woman and then you suddenly go.com you’re my type.
we’re going to talk about story telling. leverage it and use it.. things like you might need in phone conversations. And then we’re going into hard core mechanics. go to the module or segment number two of the program. e-mail.. Maybe it’s the ability to keeping the conversation flowing or establishing a deep rapport in there. And that’s it for now. where applaud needed and that’s where he felt the most fulfillment. Facebook or texting. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. Thanks. how it should flow and how it should work and understanding the concepts of that conceptually. LLC. this is Carlos Xuma. where his strengths. 12 ----------------------. Whatever your talent may be. It’s the same thing with you. We’re going to talk about tools you can use and help you in conversation and get you going and handle some of the common side conversations you have with women. Your talents will be your primary source of your success when you’re talking with women. . © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. next step. maybe it’s the ability to make someone laugh and getting excited and having fun with you and teasing. So there you go. Not in trying some athletic endeavor wherein he really wasn’t that quite talented. how to talk with women.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. you’re going to learn how to use those as well. maybe it’s story telling.CarlosXuma. material. It’s going to serve you more than anything else.Page 14----------------------www. we’re going to talk about what to do when you run out of conversation. So you’re going to find areas in here that are going to be your elements of success when you’re talking with women. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.shine. Those are the ones you should work on enhancing. 2. we’ve just covered. we’re going to talk about specific techniques for making women laugh and how to use the funny-cocky comedy thing. We’re going to talk next on the flow of conversation. the foundation which is your alpha lifestyle and the key elements—well the one key element of all attractive conversations with women which is connection and I broke it down to all the segments for you there.
there’s a little diagram a put together to explain the flow of energy between her and you. we’re going to look at the actual energy. 2. Any one of these can be used as an opener and I really don’t like to set aside opening and approaching as being a different part of the conversation but guys view it that way. When it comes to the overall conversation at the earliest part of the conversation.com Module 2: Conversation Flow Alright.Page 15----------------------www. how should the energy and how should the flow of conversation go with women. it’s time to get cracking on the first topic. it’s going to have 20 or 30% right off the bat. OK? As a matter of fact at the start. I’m talking about a lot of the general conversation techniques that you can use along the way.. That’s going to be handled in special approach program. we’re back. OK? And again.CarlosXuma. This is worst case scenario and the more nervous she is. you can use anything that I’m talking about in this program to apply in opening and starting conversations. the more of an open person she is or maybe she is a playful type of person. OK? I want you to keep that in mind. if this is a woman you’ve just met. 10% will be her. because she’s actually into it. I’m not focusing in specifically on what you need to do when you walk up right off the bat. LLC. so I’m trying to help you by keeping the same perspective but in reality. The less nervous she is. 3. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. Let’s dig right into flow of conversation. The conversation is going to be a little skewed towards you providing a lot of the energy to keep it going. although approach is a part of the overall conversation. if you’re looking at it as a matter of percentage.3. the more it’s going to be like this situation here. she’s not thrown off by talking to a guy. . a lot of the stuff I’m talking about in this program is not geared towards approach. So let’s look at the top here. 1 ----------------------. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. 90% will be you. the ratio of her to you is going to be higher. It may not be on scale but I’m sure you’ll forgive me on that part.
this is the later on of the conversation over here.com So again. you’ve got to watch it because she’s starting to control the conversation. She will in an essence talk more than you do. it really is. . to the system and they © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. the better the conversation will flow. her input is going to increase and as it does. 1 ----------------------. Maybe she’s got a boyfriend. It can’t because she doesn’t know you yet. OK? Until I get to the module on how to understand women. you’re going to have a problem because her investment in conversation is not the same as yours and what she’s trying to do is keep you at a certain distance to prevent any kind of—she doesn’t want to be misread. You’ve got to watch that too. You should be looking for this kind of a pattern. alright? So again. So. They’re going to say. you’re going to balance out somewhere in the middle here after some amount of time.com will balance out. she doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. You’re going to hear that a lot from women. you can start to decrease your energy input and balance out a little bit and this is the other side of the conversation.CarlosXuma.CarlosXuma. the quicker the chemistry because of course.Page 17----------------------www. don’t worry about it. if she’s really into it. it’s the most intricate form but just trust me. OK? So this is a model for you to understand the energy output and inputs if you will.” because then she would feel guilty for that. It doesn’t matter why. maybe she’s just in a bad mood. If she isn’t. you won’t feel as vulnerable up here. This is time. back to the energy of the conversation. It’s tiring. She’s slowly going to be increasing. So your contribution will slowly decrease. So as the time goes by. as far as the energy goes.Page 16----------------------www. what is she going to do if she holds back. she doesn’t want to be misunderstood. This is what happens later on. 2 ----------------------. the better off you are. The more she contributes upfront. see how these numbers are going up? She’s slowly going to be increasing her contribution and her energy into the conversation. putting a 90. right? Because you’re thinking the wrong thing would it really become her fault? This is Psychology. That’s where you see her percentage go up from 50 to 60 to 70 and higher sometimes. you are going to provide most of the energy upfront. going from side to side.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. it can be very tiring sometimes talking to women especially when they’re not doing their fair share. maybe she’s just isn’t into it that day. LLC. If it goes higher than 70 or 80. 70 to 90% of the conversational input and energy. I can’t explain it to you. it doesn’t mean anything about you. LLC. if she keeps you at arms length? What she’s saying is she doesn’t want to make it into that conversation for whatever reason. the woman will pick up the ball and she will start contributing more to the conversation than you do.
in fact it’s the least important part.” It’s what she says after that. I want you to take this sort of thing first. If I did that to you. she won’t be grounded. What you’ve got to do is make sure that you are not trying to follow a plan as much as you are trying to keep things improvisational and coming from here rather than from here. what that is. whatever that may be. We just don’t see it. I’m saying that twice for actual emphasis. “Hey. She won’t feel real. In essence. we just think it’s just guys having the problems. I’m right here. in other words if I were to sit down in front of a canvass with a set of paints and paintbrush. to walk up to talk to women with. Conversational flow. Let’s talk. that’s the one thing guys don’t understand is a balancing factor of this on the female side of the equation. see what I’m saying? Her reply is more important. your opening is not the most important part of the conversation. Listen to what she says when she replies. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. this sort of thing second. the more you’re going to create problems for yourself in the conversation. 3 ----------------------. that you’d have to listen for. Whatever it is. I’ve trained guys this way too. is that I give them something completely random to say. It doesn’t matter what it is. for every guy that feels uncomfortable in conversations. it’s OK. Conversation is something of an art.Let’s face it. and it doesn’t matter what it is. how should a conversation go? Well. is kind of like a paint by the numbers step. And it sounds a little bit satiric but it’s very important that you understand this. Somebody told me specifically that. She might be socially awkward or whatever reason. she doesn’t know how to handle the social aspects of it. what to do. OK? Her reply. most guys are so caught up in what they’re saying to start the conversation . You should be listening to her response. there’s also a woman that feels the same way. Conversational flow.CarlosXuma. this sort of thing third. The experience that a lot of guys have. where? Is that art? Not really. The opening doesn’t really matter. Comparing it this way would probably help you.com So the first thing that happens in the conversation is your opening. the more you’re trying to follow a plan. the more up in your head you are. But this is why I put an asterisk on this. so your opening is nothing more than a match lit to the fire and now you’re watching what the fire does as it burn really slow. I’m not going to give you a specific step by step. The opening is just a way of opening the door and saying. Why? Because you’d be relying too much on artificial structure which bears no resemblance to the actual conversation. a little sequence there.Page 18----------------------www. LLC. I wou ld be hopelessly screwing up your game with women. And she doesn’t know how to do it. Let’s go into the next section here. does it really burn the match out before it even starts. or we’re just having the problem. she won’t feel that you’re real.
her conversational puppet basically. LLC.com I’m trying to think of a better term for that but you know. your whatever it may be. Your response should not only be in some way handling whatever it is she said. If you’re going to talk to me. what’s in it for her? Is she getting something out of the conversation? Because human beings are selfish creatures. So then. your reply next should probably be a question and should never be an answer to hers. This is a big factor. so you’ve got to watch on that. “What is that the best thing you’ve got going on there for you? Is that a line? Come on.Page 19----------------------www. of course when you give value. In other words. if she replied with a question to you like. you’ve got to raise the energy level in the conversation with whatever your response is. it’s going to be running contrary to the rules of how to talk to women. Then comes her reply and then comes your reply which is where you need to start making the transition into conversation. 4 ----------------------. whether she is a cool chick or not. they’re in it for themselves and her enjoyment is a key factor for that. Think about it. Also think about upping the ante. this is one of the first laws of talking to women. you’re going to find that out from her reply. you’ve got to be adding to the experience in her life. your reply. Don’t give a direct answer to hers. they’re not in it to help you out. If you’re taking away in any way. because a lot of guys get caught up in the opener in the first gambit that . whatever the case may be. you’ve got to do better than that. it’s WIIFM. Think about this. giving value. It should never be deter on how she respond to you that should be fairly obvious. she’s got no motivation to stay in the conversation. you’re going to be falling into the trap of being her conversational slave. but you have to raise that energy level so that she feels the positive lift of the conversation. You’ll know instantly from what she says to whatever it is you open with. You should find a way to steer your answer in a way that you still maintain control of the conversation. And her reply gives you bada-bing. maintaining control of the conversation. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. after your reply and you’ve listened to that. if you will . in everything you’re doing. whether she’s a good humor. after she responds to your opening your reply should first of all. the key to unlock the rest of the conversation from her. because if you just answer her question.because they had overcome that courage hurdle to actually walk up and talk to her that they’re not listening to her reply. If you’re not giving value to her in everything you’re saying. This is probably a law. You must always be giving value in some way. whether or not she’s got a bug up her butt. give value to her.CarlosXuma. form this point on in this conversation.” Your reply should never be to answer that question or to be a direct rebuttal to it.
“Oh. You hear what she says and you reply to that. from here on out your conversation is chaos. she forgets about the fact that you’re there to try and be interested in her sexually and now she’s in a different mode of. you know those first opening moves but the mid-game is where things really get interesting in chess. she replies. you must keep the energy level going.Page 20----------------------www. she’s obviously not for you. it creates more psychological and sexual tension. how you do that is the most © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. it’s kind of like chess. it creates more tension. he’s here to talk to me and that’s cool and all but he must want something. stilted and fake. Unless you’re just approaching drunk women in a bar at 2am. LLC. but let me be honest here.” And if she’s not thinking that way or she’s not working in that direction. But you should be gently increasing the energy level and the stakes a little bit for you to stay in it which is good. girl. it keeps her interested. In other words. OK? Even the worst party chicks in bars will give up some form of energy and give up some juice to the conversation. LLC. 5 ----------------------. That’s the way this conversation’s got to go. So you’re no longer in opener mode. I’ve got to present myself in my best form. What do I mean by chaos? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. a small sliver of conversations go down that route where she just checks out completely. you should still be able to get some level of interactivity from her. I don’t want you thinking that you have to take off a rocket ship because that’s going to make a conversation feel awfully weird.happens within. You have to meet all my criteria as well. qualification.com important thing. you need to stand back and you need to start qualifying her a little bit. and your reply is a transition into what we call a regular conversation. Again. during your transition to the regular conversation. So her reply comes. “Huh. keep things interesting. then she’s thinking. And then she’s going to reply again and now you need to transition it towards conversation. OK? And the same thing applies here you need to make a transition from your opening game to your mid-game as quickly as possible. Your opener mode lasts for only two interactions. “Oh you know what? You might not be all that. the first primary thing you need to do is form connection with her in some way or another. 6 .CarlosXuma. if your sole motive is just to start a conversation.” That’s where qualification says. Remember I told you. You say something. And then the last thing I’m adding in this particular step is. Whether that’s rapport building or attraction building. wait a minute. I’ve got to be in my best behavior. and your midgame has to take on a very connective flow. you must give value to her and you must also up the ante. it doesn’t have to be a massive increase.” When a woman is forced to think in that perspective. You have to stand back a bit and qualify her and this is what I’m saying.
totally lost.com Chaos means there’s no way anyone in the world can predict how your conversation is going to go. I want you to pay attention to this part. know when to stop gambling and walk away with your winnings because that’s leaves you with a positive feeling so that you’ll come back and do that again. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. 7 ----------------------. LLC.CarlosXuma. you press that a little bit more. because you can’t do it and by doing that. is stay in the conversation only as long as you can and then bail. But the secondary rule is. You have to feel comfortable to leave in the conversation at any time and if you’re in the zone when you’re just totally gripless. all the way back here. there’s a certain point that you’ve got to cut your losses. That you’re ready to make that transition into the conversation. and now you can keep going. you’ve got your mid-game and you’ve got your endgame. How far do you think he should go? If it’s comfortable and it’s working. totally clueless. This is the rule that’s always in the back of your head when you’re talking to women and you’re remembering how to talk to women. stop trying to predict every little thing that’s going to happen along the way. When you’re winning. And the reason for this is. You can’t predict it so please stop trying to. When in fact. Agreed. everything is totally up to chance and whim and fate and a multitude of events.CarlosXuma. Get out of there. you’re actually making it hard for yourself to stay in the conversation. Endgame is where you close. OK? So I’m assuming that you’re at the point now where that’s not a big issue for you. hey I say. what’s going to happen? At some point. “Go as far as you can.com So stay only as long as you can in a conversation and then bail. go one more step than the last time you did. But here also is another rule: stay only as long as you can and then bail out of this conversation. you get a phone number. if you will. go and move on to something else. As a matter of fact.Page 21----------------------www. a bit of improvisation ability. every time that you get in a conversation. where after your opening. So each time you’re in a conversation. like I’ll give you an extreme example: a guy that just never talks to women and he’s in his first conversation with a woman. he’s going to trip and he’s going to fall and he’s going to reflect that experience of tripping and falling back on the whole entire conversation he had with her. You’ve got your opening game.Page 22----------------------www. you’ll go a little bit further. That you know that it’s going to require some free-flow ability from you. just like being at a roulette table. you get a date or you try for a kiss or you try and push your physical .” but in reality. go find somebody else. there’s no way you can know what’s going to happen next.----------------------. it’s a very small sample of things that can happen there that’s why you can do some preparation after the opener but after that.
it’s one level. alright? . what happens here. Your thinking about something and then imagining outcomes is what creates your fears and anxieties with women. Beginning game. So remember that. out of what you can control. Again. the higher your energy needs to be. Leave her with a positive feeling about it. what happens then? You’re trying to predict the unpredictable.Page 23----------------------www. Your emotions are created by your thoughts. I’ll give you a few secrets here that I’ve used in the past and these are important to remember. all these things I talk about are meant more for you than her. too laid back. Now. it’s a much lower level. When you can’t shut down the mental gears in work and the things going on up there. This is the same kind of thinking by the way that keeps you awake at night that you can’t go to sleep. You’re too engrossed in the environment.escalation a little bit further. you have all three elements in every single one of them. mid-game and endgame. what if she does this. 8 ----------------------. Always end the conversation. you thought about something and then imagining these outcomes. If you’re in a bookstore. you’re going to stand out in the wrong way. that’s when your mind is trying to work too far out of its own domain. LLC. This is never more true than an opening a conversation with a woman. what you walk away at the end of it will last you until the next time you walk up and talk to a woman or the next time you get into another interaction and it has to keep you on an upward slope. and it’s going to be difficult to keep a conversation going.com So why are you there? It’s creating more anxiety and pain for you. You need to bring up your energy to match the environment or better. alright? So if you’re in a bar. it’s the highest energy it’s probably going to ever be. You’ve ever had that happen? I sure have had it happen. Conversations will come and go. on a high note. try and get in there. because she’s going to feel the difference in the energy levels. If you’re too subdued. When you can let go of the need to try and think ahead.CarlosXuma. imagining these events. It doesn’t matter what conversation it is. Next secret here is. the higher the energy around you when you’re talking to a woman. If you’re in a dance club with a high intensity laser beams and lights and a lot of music. That’s the end game.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. And that’s what creates fear and anxiety with women. You’re in the realm of “I can’t control it. not the other way around. everybody has. Let me repeat this because this is important. Your emotions came to you because you started focusing on something. techniques you’re going to use. First of all. emotions are created by thoughts. She has to feel good about the conversation and so do you. just the last part of this initial flow of conversation topic before we get really into the hardcore cool stuff. when your mind just won’t turn off.
” you know whatever it is you’re talking about. Alright? I’ll talk to you in the next module. What do you think? I think so. It’s totally effective and it’s totally necessary. she feels a positive draw. I always make casual mentions and I want to give you more techniques by the way so don’t feel like shipping you here. it’s bait on a hook. always leave something unfinished in your conversation for the next time you talk or meet with this woman. So I don’t want you to think it’s a game. it’s a necessary game.” You know you’re drawn in.CarlosXuma. OK? So don’t shy away from using the old cliff hanger. we need that completion so you might as well be using it to your advantage. LLC. You know when you watch a TV show and it ends with a to be continued and you’re like. last but not least. It’s the way human beings are built. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to . but now yo u see differently: This section is important. I’ll talk to you about it later. We can’t stand stories that don’t have an ending. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. 9 ----------------------. I’m giving you the techniques on the next part but I would leave a technique like a. from keeping her interested in the conversation. LLC. 10 ----------------------. Always leave something unfinished because what that does is bait. That keeps her coming back for more and whether you like to realize it or not. she does too and it’s a perfectly legitimate tool to ensure that you can stay in contact with her and keep her going. “Oh there’s something you need to know about that chick but I got to get going. The awkward silences and the problem and the description of the solution and how to stop it from happening to you ever again. So next module. I have something cool to tell you about. “Oh God. I can’t believe it.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. “Oh © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.com you know what.CarlosXuma. we hate a movie that finishes with to be continued. there’s a vacuum there but with energy that pulls her back into it later on. What’s your number again so I can call you?” She’s got a reason to call me. you need that finishing. Let’s say it’s a vampire movie.Page 25----------------------www.And last rule. this is how it were constructed. we’re going to get into what you do when you run out of conversation. you need that completion.Page 24----------------------www.
“If you were with anyone else that you weren’t attracted to. techniques that you problem and then I’m going to module that you’re going to I call them definite and can use. 3. we’re going to talk about awkward silences and why they are actually a necessary component to a conversation. Let’s zoom in here a little bit. the whole issue and this goes back into approach of course. 2. you got up the guts to say hello. The problem is. You’re psyching yourself out. alright? So the problem. it’s an inner game thing.CarlosXuma. Think about that. So let’s talk about them. . LLC.com MODULE 3: How to Never Run Out Of Things To Say Here we are with the next module. strategies. Now you’re talking to her.start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1.. 1 ----------------------.Page 26----------------------www. If you don’t have an awkward silence it’s probably not going the way you think. let’s talk about it in terms of the the solution. alright? The approach is over. would you still have this problem of keeping a conversation going?” I’m talking about this term in being in the conversation. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Ask yourself this question. If this person was anybody else that you weren’t attracted to like your aunt or your sister or some guy at the mall. material. Yaddiyadda. if you answered yes. whatever it is. would you still have this problem of talking to them? Would you have problems keeping conversations going? Well the fact is whether you answer yes or no. 2. how are you doing? I want to meet you.. My name is Carlos. you’re psyching yourself out. 3. This is probably the first really—I wouldn’t call them hardcore but tactics. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. it’s still an inner game thing. First of give you get some concrete all. let’s talk about this because we’re getting into some inner game stuff here and I know the guys just love the inner game.
” It flows because you feel safe in the conversation. Things just go out of control. Think of the one person that you have no problem talking to. 1 ----------------------. why does it stop? If you’re talking to a person and you’ve got no problem talking to that person. if the conversation flows with that person. Kind of a crazy thing huh? So again. it could be a friend. would you be really be having the same problem? Why not? That’s the thing I want you to think on. matter or form. loser. “Hey. OK? It could be your mom. Safety. This is a really important thing. suddenly your masculinity is called into doubt. three-dimensional loser. Loser. think about that. And if it stops. if it flows.CarlosXuma. they’re not going to somehow call me out. it could be your aunt. Why is it not happening for you? Well it’s all because of the expectations. loser. why is it? Why does the conversation flow with that particular person. somewhere it suddenly stopped being safe for you to talk to that person. alright? It’s an important thing to think about. So if that doesn’t happen or it doesn’t happen in the conversation. start flying through your head and you can’t control what you’re thinking. most guys don’t. If you or anybody else in that moment. most guys don’t have a problem keeping conversations with somebody they just know they’re not interested in. you’re validated by being able to keep the conversation going and getting a woman interested in you back © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. So you now have what we call a thought storm. LLC. it doesn’t have to be a woman.If you don’t have that problem. now anxiety jumps in its place and your thoughts start going crazy. it could be a guy that you went to school with. 2 . shape. they’re not going to point at me and go. But you feel somehow more contractually obligated to keep it going with a woman that you’re interested in. But when you talk to a strange woman. do you? It comes down to a masculinity issue. Safety is probably the reason why you feel safe with that person. You just made an uncomfortable pause in the conversation. Safety gives you this sense of—I’m not at risk when I’m talking to them. LLC. why is this? It’s just a natural fact of social interaction that we start to—if our confidence is low in this situation that we start to doubt our own identity a little bit. because you don’t want her thinking that you’re a loser any way. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. And then ask yourself.Page 27----------------------www. loser. whoever it is.com again. you don’t feel threatened in any way. think about that one person. there’s a sense of risk and jeopardy and hazard inherent in it. why did the conversation stop? Because the safety was lost in the conversation. Here is another way of thinking about this.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Another fear you have is the fear of exposure.com All those times I thought about masturbating over a Sears catalogue or the time I killed that frog. aaahhh. The impostor syndrome means that we all go around feeling like somebody’s going to see through this exterior person I created and they’re going to see all those dark thoughts I’m having inside my head. I’ve got to take care of the situation. you now feel at risk. Women by large are much more scared than you or I will ever be.” It’s the highest form of anxiety because we actually think that our physical wellbeing is being threatened. LLC. That’s what fear stands for in some circles. You have no reason to fear women. You know those really dark things that we have in our life. especially when I get to the special program I’m going to do on how to understand women. In fact. right? It goes out of control. Here’s another part of the problem. I’m at risk. Oh yes. Oh my god.guys are just plain afraid of women. We need to fear the “diva” or fear this women empowerment thing. fear.----------------------. They’re constantly in a state of anxiety and nervousness about a lot of the things in their life and knowing that should make you feel a lot more reassured about walking up and talking to her. What’s the fear of? It’s the fear of women . “Oh no.Page 29----------------------www. Every single person has done something dark or thought something dark. something about—Oh I can’t remember any of this now. everybody has them. you feel like you’re in jeopardy which triggers that lowest part right at the back of your head. it’s what we call the impostor syndrome. it’s getting longer and she’s looking at her watch. . “False Evidence Appearing Real.Page 28----------------------www. We’ve been brought up in our society that women are now suddenly empowered and we need to fear them in some way. It’s a psychological confusion that the brain doesn’t know the difference about. “Oh what should I say? What was that routine I read online? It was a cool one too. And oh my God. a little secret on the side here. you know I didn’t mean to but then I started poking in their guts to see what was inside them. the back of your brain. I’m not talking down about women right now. Safety is the critical factor in you feeling better about the conversation and not letting them fall into those uncomfortable pauses when you don’t know what to say and you go back up to your head and you’re like.” You see what happens.CarlosXuma. what I’m talking about is this over bloated perception we have about women.CarlosXuma.com And you also feel exposed. 3 ----------------------. that lizard brain part of you that’s fight or flight and tells you.
the less smoothly your conversation is going to flow. relaxed and resourceful. You cannot be resourceful if you’re constantly in anxiety especially when you’re in fear. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. is relaxed and resourceful. If you are more focused on protecting or proving yourself. not letting down the facade in some way. keeping yourself out of risk. That’s really what we’re talking about. LLC. 4 ----------------------. All of the problem is about not being relaxed in a conversation with a woman. let me go back to the R. . First of all. The first. REAL. The R again. Masculinity is a big part of your ego. because this is probably the biggest point of a problem that you need to know. The A is authentic and alpha. Wow. letter R. of course. It’s a big part of your identity. And L is lifestyle and lasting. You won’t feel comfortable revealing your true personality if you feel like you have to protect something. what we’re talking about the part where the problem itself. And now the E is effective and energized.CarlosXuma. Let me say that again. You have to maintain that level of relaxation in you that allows you to draw out the best parts of you. but be a real person in front of her. your acceptance and validation as a man is built into your ego and that masculinity is such a big part of the problem when it comes to talking with women especially when we go back to awkward silences. the less smoothly your conversation will flow because you’ll be falling back on ego protection mode.And our biggest fear is that that’s going to be exposed to other people and then we’re going to be shamed and then we’re going to be driven out of the tribe. the problem is that all of those factors are affected and impacted by your ability to be not just real in terms of that little acronym I gave you.Page 30----------------------www. so that’s the fear aspect. Very important. You probably know my acronym by now but I’m going to go over them again because it’s very important. right? The E is energized.com Alright. The R in real. that’s nicely applicable here. relaxed and resourceful. What about ego? Ego slips in too. forget the rest of the word. huh? The fear to being exposed or the whole impostor syndrome also stops us from being real. crazy stuff this evolutionary thing. Well. If you’re more focused on protecting or proving yourself. the core of what I teach. keeping yourself away from harms way. you can’t be resourceful with what you’re talking about with a woman. Most relevant to what we’re talking about.
So there’s something that you don’t know yet. this perfect pick-up artist training would have avoided it. right? Unless you’re failing more than 75% of your approaches with women.Page 31----------------------www. OK? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. because you don’t them all. If you think about what you’re going to be saying while she’s talking. you’re now killing the potential for attraction because she’s reading the small body cues that you’re giving off.CarlosXuma. you’re at that moment of being maybe slightly vulnerable. Forgive me. Trust me on that one and that’s OK. because what happens is.” it’ll pull back. Unless you’re failing and this is something that happens at the start of the conversation. They wouldn’t have had that problem but you did. Those little things communicate that you’ve disconnected from the conversation and she won’t even consciously recognize it. A part of her will pull back on the . the fear of rejection. “Huh. Another part of the problem is rejection. You may not be able to see tha t on this camera but my eyes just kind of traced over on the side just a little bit and then come back or a waitress passes by and I watched her for a second and I looked back at her. 5 ----------------------. this goes back to what I said that the ego about protecting yourself. It makes you stop when. maybe the moment is right to tell her. You’re not get them all. It’s our fear of rejection. You only want the ones that are going to work for you and going to add to the quality of your life. this is another part of the problem.com We know that isn’t true. the conversation will flow and you won’t run into the uncomfortable pauses.” I’ve done that with a woman and I feel that little “forgive me” on the end of it as like a way of me throwing myself at her feet but not in a begging sort of way. You better go learn it. Very important distinction. don’t change anything. I know you have because I’ve done it all the time. like that. Being in the moment. because going to want are In the moment. statistically speaking you’re not going to get them all. just a little bit of a trace. maybe it’s the blankness in your stare. LLC. When you’ve able to focus on her in the conversation on what’s happening between you. Don’t change anything. maybe your eyes go. guys think that when they get a bad reaction from a woman. Again. just a little part of her will go. We all know that rejection is in there. just a little note here because this might help you. What we really need to do is keep trying. I came over her and I thought I was going to say a whole bunch of clever stories and I’m totally lost. “You know what. Go buy another book. that somebody else who hadhad this perfect training. Let’s say that you just unplugged from the conversation and you just stepped back a little bit.What do you think ego protection mode makes you do? It makes you do things that disconnects you from the woman. you probably caught yourself doing this. If you’re thinking about what you’re going to say next while she’s talking.
they just memorize a shit load of techniques and they hope that that’s going to cover them. that’s how a lot of guys approach this. a little tale on this thing here. “It just clicked with him. ironically. marginally helpful.conversation and make it more difficult on you because she’ll stop giving you the investment. you’re just shooting yourself in the foot.” That feels weird. A woman wants to feel your conversation that you’re having with her is being like destiny and it just happened from inside her and not coming from you. you have to have to feel safe in any conversation. that’s the solution. right? She’s going to view that as coming from her to you. let’s hit it hard. first of all you can have an arsenal of techniques to fall back on. First of all. If it feels like it just happened and that she was a part of it and it came from inside her and she’s like. I better use it for him.com Where you don’t feel like you’re unplugging and tapping into your routine mechanism. he just gave me some attraction. You stopped being present and your anxiety actually increases because you have all these material and you can’t use it. “Oh no. I do have this attraction. you’re even more anxious than if you’ve never got them in the first place. we’ve really pretty much beat up this problem. So arsenal of techniques. after we’ve talked about being in the moment. you’re clever scripts that you’ve got and things like that. let’s hit it. the fifty-fifty. First of all. guess what? At risk. 6 ----------------------. having these will make you fail more often than not.” When something fails you that you think you’ve got to solve a problem. And. Sometimes it does. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. it’s going to pull back and she’s going to 20 or 10% now because she feels. you don’t have to think about.CarlosXuma. Too much information keeps you up in your head working up here rather than being in the moment. See where we’re going there? Craziness ensues. Now. But if you have a lot of stuff floating around your head. that psychological sound of clicking or the psychological interaction or click with another person is nothing more than the naturalness of the conversation. having all these techniques that you’re using. OK? Now you want solutions and that’s what I’m here for. She wants to feel that things clicked. sometimes it doesn’t. my man. the sixty-forty. whatever that may be. . So it’s just as important for her to feel safe in the conversation as you. I don’t know what it was but we just clicked together. LLC.Page 32----------------------www. She doesn’t want to feel like you made it happen because that makes it weird and stilted and artificial. The reality is that.” Well that click. “Wow. Then you forget the techniques and you become more anxious. You probably hear that phrase quite a bit. “Oh.” Not. the way to feel safe in any conversation. that’s what this program’s here for. She doesn’t feel safe anymore. You didn’t make this happen. It’s good to have a few that you know and that you have pull out. There are number of ways and I’m going to tell you how to do it.
work. They’d do it through hypnosis. they’ve used the binaural ones where one’s playing in one ear and one’s playing in the other.Control over your state. I don’t know why I’m saying it. I am smart enough and darn it people like me. they’ve used self hypnosis tapes. they hear something cool that somebody said and they listen to it and they say it out loud. Another good book for you to use is a book called Slide of Mouth. LLC. You could make—I’ve got a little guy put up on my monitor. it’s what I make. “I am good enough. Is it really helping? I don’t know.CarlosXuma. I’ll have no problem with conversations with women. something that I’ll give you in the resources. Affirmations. it’s up to you to decide but I can make Yoda work for me or I could have him and think. NLP is also a valid tool. Actually there’s a great book called Introducing NLP. I highly recommend for you. So what I’m talking with you here are the most valid tools.” Even what they’re saying in their words. Affirmations in the classical sense. This is my personal method of using affirmations.com I will tell you this though and the fact of the matter is that everything works if you work it. I don’t really adore this very much although they’re still better than nothing.Page 33----------------------www. I know a lot of guys have had success with hypnosis. I am good enough. I’d do better in it. Right?” Well you know what? It’s actually true. The difference in an affirmation and an anthem is how much effort and work you’re willing to make to do it. you little plastic piece of shit. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P . You do that. Again. affirmations will do the work for you like a champ but you’ve got to put some energy in it. “Damn you. Primarily because most people do affirmations like this. This is a good one.” And after a while they started saying. That’s why use what I call Anthems. they do it through affirmations. This is an excellent way to have this feeling of safety in any conversation. Use anthems. Control over your state. These are affirmations that you are connected to that you actually chose the words for it. If you believe in it and make it work. everywhere I go and make him part of the conversation. I could have this little guy in an amulet in my pocket and my belief that I invested in him would actually make that conversation. I am smart enough and darn it people like me. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. These are emotionally driven affirmations. all of which are valid. “I don’t believe anything that I’m saying. you believe.” It doesn’t matter. “If I take this Yoda doll with me. I’ve got a Yoda doll. Some things are a little more valid than others. It doesn’t work that way. Your mind will undermine you if you don’t believe it. 7 ----------------------. this is what they’re thinking in their head. it will work for you. It’s not easy to use so don’t expect it to be a handbook and immediately understand NLP. there’s lots of different ways that guys do this. you’re not helping me at all.
roductions, LLC. 8 ----------------------- Page 34----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com Most guys don’t - most guys don’t want to of that stack right now, you’re way above do help themselves or improve themselves. to be all coarse about it but that’s just do shit man, you’re way on top those guys because they won’t They’re lazy as all fuck. I hate the way it is.
And by sheer fact that you’re sitting here and learning from me working on this stuff, you’re already way ahead of the pack, you’re ahead of 90% of them. So if you’re willing to do it and I know you are. I encourage you to take some of those affirmations you may have heard and turn them into anthems. A lot of my programs talk about that and I’m not going to that deep here, again we’re not going into deep inner game, I want to keep real tools. Simplified tools. This is my preferred solution, OK? And I’m putting it here to emphasize that you can have this arsenal of techniques or you can have simplified tools. I say simplified tools because when they work, they will give you a boost of confidence. A very simple opener that works every time that will give you a boost of confidence the second to none. The more confidence you have, the more you begin to use it. The better you get at using it, the more positive results you get then you go back and you use it again and again and again and it gets better and better and it doesn’t matter what you say after a certain point. You start changing the words, you start coming up with stuff, you pull out of your butt, you don’t even know where it came from and it works. So simplified tools are always the best thing. If it’s complicated, if it’s convoluted, if it’s hard to understand in any way, shape, matter or form, do not use it. It won’t work. Another way to feel safe in conversations because we’re talking about the safety element, you want to feel safe. Remove the woman’s ability to lower your value or masculinity. Take away her license to reject you. This is what I’m talking about. Take it away from her. She doesn’t deserve it. She isn’t qualified to hold it. Only you are. If you give that to her, if you give her the ability to make you feel of low value or low masculinity, it’s your own fault, alright? Take it back. You keep it and you control how you invest yourself in the conversation. Very important. False time constraint. This is—I still think that this is one of the most effective tools and it comes from the old pick-up stuff, right? False time constraint means you give her a time constraint by saying, “Look I’m not going to be here very long, so don’t worry,” it answers the questions in her head, “How long is this guy going to sit here and bug me?” And the same © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 9 ----------------------- Page 35----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com time it creates a certain level of abundance on your part because you don’t seem like you’re needy.
You’re not just clinging to her because she’s the only person there to talk to, “You’ve got a few minutes? I’m going to leave but I had to ask you...” So a false time constraint is a great way to make yourself feel safe when you’re going in a conversation because at any point, you can just pull the plug on the chute and eject right out. Alright, so there’s the first one. You want to find ways to feel safe in conversations. Here’s another one. Focus on fast exchanges. What do I mean by this? Remember what we’re talking about here is always going back to avoiding the awkward silences that’s the part of the conversation that we’re talking about. Even though I may go into general terms, we’re talking about the awkward silence when it comes up. One great technique for that to avoid it is to focus on fast exchanges with a woman. No more than 20 seconds is the time when you talk to a woman. You’re not going to talk for a longer than 20 seconds, alright? It may even come to the point where you want to talk more but you can’t—you know you’ve been talking for too long and you need to stop yourself and then you’d get her to talk. What that will do is it will build up a kind of a reserve of energy. You suddenly stop yourself from talking too much, now you’ve got something to say when it comes time to talk again. So that’s going to bottle up in your head. You’re going to feel that as being a positive pressure. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s kind of a satiric concept but it’s kind of, it’s like, I didn’t empty my tank so I want to go back to the gas station and I don’t need that much to fill it again. I’m not going to feel I’m running dry on conversation all the time because I’m stopping myself. I’m keeping my part of the conversation to a minimum to make sure that she contributes the maximum. Try it sometime. Try timing yourself. Let’s see what 20 seconds’ really is. Take your watch out and just sit there for 20 seconds. Time it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 10 ----------------------- Page 36----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com Do you think you could say something meaningful in that space of time? I think you can. I think you can probably say quite a bit. Maybe too much. So again, keep your investment in conversation short like that because number one, it helps her keep talking. Number two, it also helps you stop from over talking, alright? And it will keep you bottled up with some reserves. Focus on emotional content within the conversation. This helps you avoid those silences because when you’re talking about facts, you’re talking about details, things that are very particular that she’s not that crazy or interested in. You’re going to kill the conversation for you in the start because there’s nothing there for her to burn in terms of fuel. Emotional content in a conversation is very important because facts will get you talking, they’ll start you talking but emotions are the goal of the conversation. We talk to other people to start an energy loop between us and them. I’ve talked about this in my couple of other programs and I’m not
going to go into deep, deep game here but remember that when it comes to interacting with another person socially, you’re creating a feedback loop with that person. Every time you open your mouth and start talking to them, you start getting a vibe and then you start saying things and you feedback off of each other. It creates a closed loop of experience. And you can start with that conversation with something very basic like facts or small talk like we say, “Hey, how’s the weather? Oh I don’t know,” that’s not emotional. When you get emotional then the conversation starts to get a whole new life. And those spaces don’t happen because the emotions carry you between in the gaps. When a woman mentions an emotion, that’s your clue, dig deeper. There a gold mine, there’s like a little glint of gold at the very top and then there’s a whole vein of gold underneath that. As soon as you see that she’s talking about emotion. You know, you ask her what she’s doing and she’s like, “Oh, I’m OK, a little tired.” “Why are you tired?” “Oh, it’s just kind of emotionally exhausting, you know? I was kind of sad that my dog died about 2 months ago and I, I’m not so sad about the dog, © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 11 ----------------------- Page 37----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com now I’m sad about finding a new dog because that new dog is going to remind me of my old dog and I can’t choose.” See where I’m going here? Suddenly you started a spark because you chased the emotion not the facts. Alright? Very important. And I also wonder how it is I’m able to have these conversations like that sometimes I feel like I’m a channelling chick, some sort of chick channelling ability. Keyword tennis. I just did it for you. I just gave you an example, listen for the words in what she says and ping-pong off of it or tennis off of it. The way you do it is, whatever she says to you, listen for one word to repeat, alright? So you’re starting to talk with her and I’m going to use some basic examples, you’re in a bookstore, and she picked up a book, maybe she’s got one of those Harry Potter books and then she says, “Oh yeah, I got one of these books, I want to go look through it, I have this niece of mine that was really into Harry Potter and she really likes the movies,” and you’ve got a whole ton of stuff there, what did I just give you? First of all, she talks about the niece, that’s the first place I would go, “A niece, oh really? Is it your sister’s child or your brothers? Oh OK.” See, and then start to tap into the emotions because girls who have nieces or nephews or any kind of niece or nephew relationship, they’re very keen on
You’ve got the books. invaluably brilliant scene in Pulp Fiction where Uma Thurman and John Travolta are in that restaurant and they’re talking about whatever and then there’s a pause. this is one of those uncomfortable silences. The Harry Potter thing. This is the one strategy I use every single time that one of those uncomfortable silences comes up. it’s like a poke in the ribs that keeps her going. don’t call one when it doesn’t feel like it. Make her contribute to the conversation. “Look at that.CarlosXuma. 12 ----------------------. “Don’t you hate that?” “What?” “Uncomfortable silences.” And then you put the burden back on her shoulders.com Laugh at the elephant. you can look at it. I’m totally out of conversation. “Niece. you’ve got the movies. you start telling me something.” It’s a great scene. I mean like a second or two. “Oh. Laughing at the elephant means there’s an elephant in the room. that’s the uncomfortable silence right there. You say. That’s kind of the thing in parenthesis here. “Oh did you see the last movie? What did you think of that? How did you feel about it?” You find the words. point it out.” All I said was.” Put it back on her. The little triggers keep it going for her.” and she starts talking again. and she’s like. I must have not filled up 98 octane conversations this morning.” Flip it back. if you genuinely can’t come up with something and you start feeling that anxiety.Page 38----------------------www. LLC. Harry Potter?” Sometimes all it takes is just one word. “Oh. right? This is the one tactic that I use on every single silence that comes into a conversation and works every time.it it’s because they are as close as they’re going to get to their own children. Start telling me about yourself.” “Yeah. Coming back to our main topic which was awkward silences because that’s what we’re talking about. I don’t want to get nervous about it. you grab on to the words and bat them right back. This technique by the way is something I learned from the immeasurably. put the onus back on her. you go. She’s so adorable and she’s a little young now. You tell me about yourself. “Niece. Very important. my brother’s little girl. it’s one of the one’s I’m going to include in my little . “OK. a lot of guys worry about keeping a conversation going. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. So it’s a big emotional contact there. and she doesn’t quite understand everything. How to keep the conversation going? Laugh at the elephant. You can laugh at it together. I don’t like to call them that because they’re not really comfortable for me anymore. it’s like NLP thing. give it some time. right? If there’s a pause in the conversation for whatever reason.
There’s a whole bunch of drama in those. “Excuse me for a second. I’ll be right back though. Her hobbies. I know exactly what I’m going to talk about when I get back with her. “Carlos. “OK.” You get nervous and again. LLC. what did I just see this morning? And that entertainment weekly thing. I need to ask her about her hobbies. Food is an awesome conversational thing. “Oh. Pop culture make me immediately go. “Oh.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I would get nervous and be like. It’s not movie facts. it’s movie feelings that will keep you in the conversation with her. So I had a sticky in my wallet with a whole bunch of questions on it and a couple of topics.CarlosXuma.CarlosXuma. you expose it for what it is and you go. that tribute they were doing on Michael Jackson. you’ll relax when resourcefulness kicks in.com . Don’t steal my beer. I was probably babbling by myself. This is one of those things that has kept me in the car that kept me thinking. Right at the top of my tongue.Page 39----------------------www. Everybody likes to talk about movies. what did you have on that sticky?” Here’s what I had on it: One word: food. 14 ----------------------.” I’d go back to her and I already got this conversation ready to flow. what’s your favorite food? Because I don’t think they cook some of the best stuff here.” Movies. I would go and take a bathroom break. just don’t get caught up quoting lines from movies and again. I know I’m supposed to be talking right now and she’s still talking but I don’t know what to talk about. 13 ----------------------. You see it. I would have a list of things to talk about. So you’re probably asking. “Oh.com Have a fall back.” “Oh yeah. What do I mean by a fall back? I actually did this for a long time before starting to learn from this stuff. “So tell me.movie breakdown and it emphasizes that that is the brilliant way to take the piss out of a moment like that. duh. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. You’re no longer resourceful. Because inevitably. LLC.Page 40----------------------www. I’d say. watch out for movie facts. I think it might be like an Irish-English mix because this is kind o f a pub. I’ve got to go to the John.” And I’d go off to the bathroom and either on my phone or on my sticky that I’d folded up and put on my wallet. yes. What is it that she does?” Pop culture. wow.
I’ve also got an Iphone and I have this clever little application that allows me to time it to ring me 15 or 20 minutes into a date and I can trigger it and can give me a reason to look at my phone whether it’s to say. that would always help me quite a bit too. she’s doesn’t going to go and say.” and then you’ll start telling your story. 15 ----------------------. “So I’m out with my friends at this place. “You know what? I’ve got to get going. Latch on to the things that she says that are kind of vague. kind of related to Pop culture but it gives you a different angle to go down. So there you go. She’ll say something like. one of the great dilemma questions was. Oh. “Oh God. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you know what? I just totally remembered something.” Or I can just go. what kind of food do you like?” Have a story or two to throw into the mix. we’re going to have a story telling module in this class. “Wait. You’ve got to probe into whatever it is that she’s talking about. Find a way of talking about music that she’s into. those are the things that I would keep on my little cheat card and it’s a fall back. It’ll give me a chance to look at. wait a minute. “Which friend? What place .So then you’d say. what do you mean? Why are you telling me this story?” She doesn’t care. my mom’s texting me again. she just want you to tell the story. right? Don’t let it just go like that. And I would also have a few power questions on that card.” Because some indicator will show up and she’ll know it’s for real. “Would you have like a big tattoo all over your left arm to save the life of a child you will never meet from another country?” And almost everyone would go. “Oh.com Active questioning also keeps you there and present in the conversation. Just having a few power questions on hand that I may not have asked. how she feels about it. food. A woman doesn’t want an excuse from you. That’s all you need to do to tell your story. Having a good story or two to throw in at the right moment is excellent because at any moment when you start detecting that little pause and that little silence. Having a few stories ready and again. “Did it bum you out about Michael Jackson? What was your favorite song about him? Really? Does that the one that made you feel?” Music. but do I know this girl? Will I ever get the chance to meet her?” They want to change the rules. you can sit there and go. it’s a great way to get a conversation going. LLC. “So. don’t interrupt her conversation just for the sake of interrupting but you can really draw deeper into it by saying. I’ll give you an example. you would ask me that? Of course I’d do it.Page 41----------------------www. See you. Things like. You can put it also on your phone now.” Very vague. so make sure you’re using active questioning. Again. “I’m sorry. keep it in your wallet.CarlosXuma. A lot of women say things in very general terms.
“What was your favorite part? Who was your favorite actor or actress?” Keep pulling more information because that’s what’s going to keep it going. LLC. you control the closing. you control the opening. I like that movie. but the reason I said they are necessary by the way. totally uncertain to you and it’s no risk at all because you control.” You’ve got to draw more out of her. “Oh. Being able to manage them and get past them is important. Anything that happens in between doesn’t matter. you have the ultimate veto my friend. you have the ultimate end game and the ultimate solution to any conversation that is not flowing or has a lot of these silences in it. Maybe this is all this conversation’s going to go and you want to end it on a good note. ask her details. Alright? At some point or another. “I like that movie.” Alright? So probe in. you have the control. And the other necessary part is. that’s the way I would end most of my conversations whenever I run into one of these awkward silences.where you at? Was that during the week or during the weekend?” Get details. “Oh you know what? I’d love to sit and talk to you all night but I was just about to ask you about something but I’ve got to get going. And that is to simply end it. by the way. Whatever she says that’s vague gives you an opportunity to really actively question her about whatever it is you’re talking about. It can be totally vague. Some of them are just going to be very short and .” It always happens. I know I may not have explained that.Page 42----------------------www.com enough. If you could make her feel comfortable through it. alright? Not every conversation is going to be a massive epiphany or a fantastic bonding experience. And that’s what gives you the right to go. “Whooh. You’ve got another chance. she’s watching you to see how you handle it. Book ends on the conversation. be more specific with it because every time you do that. the reason the silences are necessary is because that when those come up. Maybe you’re just done for the night. you need to be able to end it. 16 ----------------------. when you jump in the pool and when you get out. OK? Very. right? Another example.CarlosXuma. You have to know how to manage it. if you go long © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. So again. there’s a point where you’re going to go. And in fact. ending the interaction on your own terms. “Oh. what’s your phone number so that we can maybe connect and talk again?” Boom. very important because you’re removing risk when you control this end bookmark.” Pretty vague. ask her to give you more. those train you for much more advanced conversational ability. she’s going to remember more it that keeps her talking and gives you more to latch on to bat back to her by using that tennis thing. because they will happen in every single conversation. Gives you a chance to recharge. And then. you’re a winner. I liked that movie. I guarantee it. right? You mentioned a movie that she liked and then she says. it will happen. OK? Don’t let her get away with just the.
“Blah blah blah. point out the fact that and be like. Focus on the emotional content. alright? Next module. And then when all else fails. some of the ways to solve this problem for the necessary awkward silences that you’re going to run into and how you’re going to keep a conversation going. pick up words that she says in your head and. buy a new car. women all the time and oductions.” All that does. And responses that you can get to her and questions that you can ask. you control it.Page 44----------------------www.com Make sure you point it out. they think it’s hysterical. High five. we’re going into storytelling. ping. Focus on fast exchanges so that you’re not talking very long.CarlosXuma. 18 ----------------------. Laugh at the elephant. The more she talks. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. The uncomfortable silence and it’s really not difficult once you get the hang of it. Active questioning. you’re showing the initiative.” I do that with they love it. LLC.CarlosXuma. We just solved one of the big problems that guys have had since God knows when. How about that? We’re going to talk about how to create your story. 17 ----------------------. See you in the next module. 1. there are pauses there uncomfortable silence. the necessary elements and what kind of story you want to create. LLC.com Have a fallback which is have something in your wallet. blah blah. Harry Potter. a cheat sheet. “Oh cool. I’m done. Do the keyword tennis that I was talking about. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . doesn’t matter. have a way to feel safe in a conversation. First and foremost. A little view here. Make sure you’re asking her for more details than she’s giving because that keeps her more engaged and gets her to invest more in the conversation. the more things are going to be triggered in your head that builds up potential conversation for you. 2. And that will keep you feeling safe as well as in the conversation when you want to. And whether it’s at the start or at the end of an awkward silence. because then you’ll be able to relax and you’ll be able to fill in those gaps easier.Page 43----------------------www. that you’ve practiced that you can throw it in at any moment. is it gives you the moments where it gives you.” and have something to grab on to. “Ping. Have a story or two ready to go that you’ve memorized.” You’ll unplug and you’re done and you finish the conversation on your terms. not the facts. you are the one that says. my niece. That’ll get you through some pauses too. blah blah blah. So there you go.sweet. There you go. we had our first we made it through. “OK.
So let’s go into it. welcome to the storytelling module of this program. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. 2. We love stories. material.. We’re going to cover story telling. specific tools and exercises and then how to use it within the context of a conversation or how to bridge in to storytelling. In any conversation with a woman or in any conversation with any group. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. that’s what we’re going there for. I’m going to talk about the critical elements. I’m going to explain in a little bit why.CarlosXuma..com MODULE 4: How to Use Storytelling Hey. look at movies for example. storytelling is an essential skill to have. it’s Carlos Xuma. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. it . 3. look at theatre.YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. why it works and how you leverage it and use it when you’re learning how to talk with women. I’m going to give you not only the basics and fundamentals but some deep rooted understanding of how storytelling works. because it’s one of those things built into the primal mechanism of just about any man. 2. We’re going to cover storytelling today.Page 45----------------------www. I mean. LLC. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. 1 ----------------------. we’re going to talk about what it is. we’re going there for visual entertainment with a story. 3. You simply can’t do without it these days. A lot of the guys aren’t very secure or sure how to bridge into a story. how to start using it. woman and child on this planet.
I was kind of sad about it really.Page 46----------------------www. I want you to memorize this one. you don’t want that.” And you know. she’ll say. 1 ----------------------. Emotion. So asking this one question. back and forth. She’ll start talking more frankly with you and it doesn’t happen instantly. there’s like this filament that’s coming out of your sternum and it’s connecting to her sternum and that filament represents the connection between you two. So ask again this one question. And when you think about your own stories. I cannot emphasize that enough. the most important part of the conversation is how well you leverage and use emotion in the conversation. First is. it’s the one thing that pulls a woman into a conversation and it’s the one reason that she’ll stay there and talk to you above and beyond any other guy in the bar. in the anything that you happen to be at or if you happen to be meeting her or talking to her.com And as far as emotions. It’s a transfer of energy. where you get them to talk about the emotions you want them to feel. you know I always use the metaphor of when you’re talking to a woman. The critical elements of storytelling. And you’ve got to think about that. So think about emotions when you’re thinking about storytelling. I don’t know. OK? Very important to know.” right? It’s not that hard and I’m going to show you how. “You know. You . “Once upon a time. when she talks about anything. It’s the one thing that grounds a woman. emotion. you can ask one question and immediately pull her in closer. how you want that connection? What do you want for that filament? Do you want it to be a thin thread that’s barely glowing. that’s black? No. LLC.seems like it might be a little bit weird to suddenly start saying. emotion. It connects you and binds you. I don’t know why. Well. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. yeah. you’ll see her kind of like fall into state as she starts to reconnect with the emotions. You’re going to establish a much more solid line. OK? It doesn’t have to be a storytelling situation. “How did you feel about that?” How did you feel about that? How did that make you feel?” Asking that one question will immediately create a much more solid connection between you and her. It’s kind of an NLP trick there. you ask this one question and she’s going to immediately have.CarlosXuma. there’s one simple thing that you can say in any point at a conversation. emotion. in the club. Let’s start with the critical elements. this question is very important. she’s going to immediately get much more engaged in the conversation. “How did you feel about that?” At any point of the conversation. I can’t just emphasize that enough. a thick conduit between you and her. When you’re talking with women. any event that’s happened to her. it really did get me down. You want a thick chain. all these little lights are going to turn on inside her head. That’s one thing. in the party.
it’s the only reason you’re telling the stories is to communicate emotions.com And then. “Oh. it was really wild when you ran your hand across it. touch. she would have to imagine physically touching it and being there connected to that car. So emotions are the primary part of your stories. we can see from far away but what if I brought up a detail about. the point of the story is to take her on an emotional journey. I’ve got a great story about the playboy mansion when I went to go visit there. Keep that in mind. Very.Page 48----------------------www. because if I tell that to a woman in terms of the facts of what happened. I can tell you what color it is. again. So think about that. that’s a totally different sensory state to put her into. your stories are not about facts or logic.CarlosXuma. 2 ----------------------. Bring those details close to her as much as you can. She’s not really engaged or involved there. it was on purpose.CarlosXuma. very important for stories and it’s not just the details of what was the color of the car or how long was her hair or what was the weather at the time. you wouldn’t believe. honesty. So it’s not about facts or logic. Details. the closer to her body physically that they would have to come to be a part of that story. those are important details but again it goes back to what emotions do those details bring out? But knowing details within the story and knowing which details to use are very important. the event that happened. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I know it’s going to sound a little weird. when I’m describing a car.com You know. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. In other words. it was kind of one of those Braille books for the blind. or what you can really come to grips with. emotion. she can see a car’s color from a thousand feet away. But if I talk about the emotions I had as certain things were happening. Anything that she can see. it wasn’t meant to be smooth. emotion. And I think about it but I also think about it now in terms of the emotional content.Page 47----------------------www. the car’s finish had this kind of bumpy like finish to it.” That. feel. “How did you feel about that?” Whatever it was. the better that detail. Now. it goes back to the emotion thing. that’s up to you but the point here is emotion. Again. LLC. even in the fiction. the most important ones to use are emotional details but also sensory details. however you’ll do that. Remember. Remember that. well then I’m going to have a lot more to talk about. LLC. they’re not going to care. it was really wild.should be thinking about. it’s not about facts or logic. This is a really important thing and I . Alright. 3 ----------------------.
the most important thing about for us that really makes it resonate. using that truth.Page 49----------------------www. it’s like a realization about your own life. Because it was fairly entertaining up until that point but that was like. LLC.” it’s like you’ve had an epiphany. The people . I mean. it’s just an important thing. he has this moment of truth in his book when you read it you’re like. and that’s this little level of honesty and truth that’s inside the story. and then suddenly in your head. How about reading about that Stephen King book? He’s good at this. And I think that was probably the one thing that hurt the movie the most. “Oh. the best authors. Trust me. I remember one. I think it was called “Next” with Nicholas Cage and by far it was not one of his best efforts.” and connect with in a heartbeat. I feel like I’ve been tricked. It was entertaining on a certain level but at some point in the movie. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. they bring you back and it turns out he was just actually imagining all that stuff happening in his head. It’s what they call the truth. there’s an unbelievable impact that it will have on your stories. you can read a of those dime store novels that are just pulp. “Oh. “Oh. but the best fiction.” Right? It’s just like tripping over a basket of laundry. when we say the truth. it doesn’t have to be true but has to be honest. I don’t want to give way too much here. right? They’re just entertainment. if you haven’t seen the movie. If you can find this truth in any story and either create a moral or a kind of a point to your story. He was talking about how this guy had just gone through a tragedy and it was a couple of weeks later but he was still in the throes of grief. I felt like I’ve been gypped and I’ve been messed with. the end of it where you bring up what you’ve learned from that experience.” I can just visualize that for a second and be like that moment and you’re having like. he said. I almost forgot how much in pain I am. And that’s what you’re looking for in all of your stories.haven’t for the a story hundred heard anybody else talk about this. Kind of like tripping over a basket of laundry you know need to do. you can read forward a little bit. But in the movie. It can’t be trying to trick the reader or the viewer. you kind of forgot for a moment that this horrible thing happened to you. what happens is there is a whole long sequence where you think you’re following along with the story and then suddenly. do I mean that they’re telling the truth that it’s not really fiction? No. I’m trying to think about a good example for you. 4 ----------------------. When it comes to stories. So you’re probably hearing this first time. I don’t know if it was about the loss of his wife or whatever it was. Now. And you feel gypped and ripped off when that happens. But he described it like this. the best writers in the world know that there’s one thing that sets the story apart from all the other stories. There’s a movie I saw recently.com So remember that it’s honesty even inside the fiction. “It was like waking up and then you start going about your day. you remember it.CarlosXuma. that’s not what I’m talking about. That’s a moment of truth that somebody can really grab on to and go.
those defenses it’ll get through to her like nothing else can. You can walk up to a woman and say. That’s probably one of the biggest points of storytelling that you have to remember.Page 50----------------------www.com mechanism and showing the things about you without telling her directly. right? It just sounds so incredulous because you can’t trust somebody to tell you that about themselves. you can pull one of these stories out and it’s kind of like an octane boost to the conversation. You’re telling the story so that you can communicate things about you to a woman that you wouldn’t normally be able to. it better be pretty true. right? For the most part. OK? Real important.CarlosXuma. It picks things back up again. It’s very important that this fills in the gap of the conversation. So. you’d want to marry me in a year. What is storytelling? Storytelling communicates your personality.as you should be about her. So storytelling is like a subtle way of going around that © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. go home and get laid. It also like I said. It gives you depth and background. it bypasses filters and the shield that a woman has up around her about you. That’s why we construct stories or we create stories about ourselves. in fact. got you!” You don’t ever want to make a person feel like that when you’re telling them your story. It gets them moving and that’s how it fills in gaps. all of which are going to be true. Most of your brain has actually evolved to be able to tell the difference to figure a person out without them telling you anything about themselves. She’s immediately doubtful about you . makes you a three-dimensional person. You should be able to but you can’t. it makes you real.and how you say it. You communicate things about your personality. Nobody will believe you. “I am fantastic. The second somebody walks up to you and says that . But that story will bypass those shields. 5 ----------------------. she’s not going to believe you. Storytelling serves a very big purpose and if you have one of those uncomfortable pauses or awkward moments in a conversation and nothing’s moving forward. I am the perfect guy for you. I mean fictional stories are fun. enough said about critical elements.who made the movie are going. Very interesting isn’t it? How we have these complicated layers of work about our genuineness and authenticity that most of our brain has to figure out a person’s authenticity not by what they say but how they act and behave.” Now. LLC. not just some guy that walked into the bar to pick up a chick. no. You should be dating me. It’s the weirdest thing. Alright? You can exaggerate elements but keep it pretty much on the level. all that might be true but by you telling her like that. And the only way you can really decipher that person or the only way that she can really figure out you is by reading you from the things you say or what you say . those are the fun stories but when you’re telling her a story about your life that you want to communicate to her. “Hah.
And I’ve got a story that goes into about what happened that night at the Sky and I had a great time. to chill and hang out. Just thinking about this car makes me think of. your strengths. here’s my own little Mustang on my desk here.” When I got my Mustang. have fun. “I would like to sell you real estate. “Oh. I want you to make a list of your personal qualities whatever they may be. I bought the car that day and I sat there for . You want to take these strength assessment tests that they have online. It’s got one of those stupid little things. go online © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I love to do Kung-fu and Karate. I think you can do it even without the book. I got on New Year’s eve of 2005 to 2006. I am also really big on collecting guitars. I was just talking about cars. I can immediately come up with a story about them. things like that. party a little bit. Like. I’m big into sports cars or old muscle cars that had been redone in the last few years like the Mustang.” You recoil and pull away. But that’s cool because I can talk about the story about that car and suddenly I’m thinking about all the things that happened that day. the Camaro. The list of those personal qualities. 6 ----------------------. it was just about to turn 2006 and I remember that day because I was going to the store to get some—a good friend of mine.Page 51----------------------www. I’ve got all a bunch of toys on my desk that makes me more creative. I’m still thinking about getting one of these cars. I think I should need a woman’s touch on that. now how do you start using it? First of all. you know these are some of the little things that I can talk to about myself. But make a list of the qualities for yourself besides those little personality tests which are very insightful. your inclinations. this Camaro. There’re other different personality tests that’ll be more specific in different ways about who you are. Like for me for example. I’m a guitarist.com find it and it’s a great way discovering what your strengths are. he was going to go to the store with me. I’ve got a little car here on my desk. It’s just one of these many different tests you can take to figure out your personality. blah blah blah. you’re kind of like. I didn’t have a girlfriend at the time. if you can find that in Amazon. my Mustang. it’s the cool Bumblebee Transformer Camaro. this thing actually unfolds into the Bumblebee from the movie. I just wanted to relax.That’s interesting because it talks about your personal qualities. the weaknesses and all that stuff.they want to tell you a story. What else? Hey. Yet the person telling the story might be doing the exact same thing. the Charger.CarlosXuma. Another part of this program I think I mentioned a great book called Now Discover Your Strengths. The Mustang that I bought. I know Geeky but very cool because I love this design. and that night I was going to sky just go in. LLC. when the second person walks up to you and says. I love to play the guitar. You can also take a Myers-Briggs test. help me buy some clothes. CJ. telling you a story about how he wants to sell you real estate. if I think about any one of those things. I love Elvis. So that’s what it is. make a list of all the thing s that you know about yourself. you can get a cheap copy. I’m a martial artist.
you can just do something different. these are the things that a woman can relate to.here’s a story for you some high school buddies and I. It’s power of your ability to take the lead.Page 53----------------------www. and it was about an hour and a half to Niagara Falls and that’s the boundary to Canada. do something off the wall. He has the power to go and learn. What to communicate.” and we’re not drinking. We we’re like. Compassion within the context of a story is essential as a matter of fact because that’s one of the things that a woman’s looking for. 8 ----------------------.Page 52----------------------www. I don’t want you thinking that your power has to be something magnificent or lordly or wield a sword or anything like that. You know. this Beasley station wagon. LLC. Here are the things that you want to communicate within the context of a story.com like an hour. I’m going out to do something totally off the wall. Compassion is a very important one. where I grew up. we we’re sitting around in the house just at 10 o’ clock at night and we’re like. That on a turn of a dime. LLC. to put himself in a situation that he’s never gone to before. probably got . We all jumped in the station wagon.” Like I remember one night . that in itself is power. “Hey. but they don’t talk about compassion or feeling connected to other human beings. Even the least empowered of us has power over something at some point in his life. take control of the situation. I would give that story more of a point that’s kind of unfocused and scattered but I would pull that together into a story. take ownership. you might want to come up with a story that talks about the time when you did.” And we we’re like. 7 ----------------------. that’s personal power. You want to communicate personal power. we’re so bored. let’s go to Canada. when you said. we’re just hanging out. took around $350 to fill the gas tank. “Let’s do it. “What?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Most guys give off bravado and these little courageous things they talk about and they talk about a lot of facts and things like that. it doesn’t have to be real power like political power or anything like that or even power within the organization that you work in.CarlosXuma. “Screw it man. Communicate adventure and spontaneity. Even if it’s not necessarily your personality to do that.” So my friend got his sister and his sister’s boyfriend.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. “God. That’s what compassion is really is about. he has the power to go out and pick up a new skill of some kind. And we’re like. right? And then. We’re talking about power that you can use at anytime. You should be communicating that you’re an adventurous person. then it was me and my friend Chris and my friend John and then Paul was driving. just playing because it’s just a new car.CarlosXuma. Everybody’s had one of those.com I was living in upstate New York at the time.
” It’s after 1 o’clock. One of the things that I do. In that strengths assessment that I did. that you’re resourceful. that you’re not a rigid.right?” It’s just another social proof element.preselected by women. I think this is one of my strengths at the studio is. “What? Are you kidding me? Canada closes?” It was like the joke of the night. this is another element of safety by the way that you would be a very resourceful person. you can work this into any story like you can stack a bunch of these into one story if possible. too . we drove to Niagara falls. the mothers.com You want to communicate that you’re fairly easy going. We drove to Canada. scheduled kind of guy and I’ve got to admit to you that this is one of the toughest one. or somebody calls this preselected . Canada closes at 1 o’clock in the morning.Page 54----------------------www. a little spontaneous story. Independence and resourcefulness. you can’t come in. the women there. First of all about how I teach. So we hung out in the American side. “You know that Canada closes at 1 o’clock?” There you go.5miles to the gallon. I follow routines because it helps things accomplish in my life and that’s my primary motivator. “Oh. I’ve got stories for that too . LLC. And not . really like having their boys study with me because I am very particular. what I teach and to kick them in the ass to get them moving and learning stuff.that I’m laid back. I teach kids martial arts as you probably know or may not know. that sends a signal to a woman that says. she would not have to worry. Ambitious. You should be able to communicate that you’re an independent person. that you would be able to find a way to survive in any situation you’re in. If a woman were to be trapped somewhere with you.CarlosXuma. 9 ----------------------. that you have a certain amount of McGyver in you. structured. you want to be careful on how you do this. I think mystery. it was like 1 o’clock in the morning and we’re like. you don’t want to do it too much but when you communicate to other women to accept you. You also want to communicate acceptance by other women or. that you go by your own rule book. I must be able to. What you’re communicating in the story. other women think that he’s OK. we got to a certain point and we walked across the bridge to go over to the Canadian side and they told us. The independence part means that you are self guided that you have your own internal compass. I like routine. I am a fairly structured kind of guy. the top 1 that I had was achiever which means that’s my most important strength that says I get stuff done. It’s really important to throw in a story about ambition. you’re not following other people. drove home and that was our joke for the next week. it’s moving you forward. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. And I’m willing to accept the fact that sometimes I’m not so easy going but I have to work on that every so often to try and be more easy going. But ambitious is really important because it shows that you have a certain drive or propulsion within you. “We’re sorry.
easy going and ambitious. I was hanging out with a group of women from this company that makes little trading cards. going back to the playboy mansion.Page 55----------------------www. Ambition. I’m going to give you a compliment here and there if you deserve but I’m also going to tell you where you need to improve. right? Go for the Gusto they used to say. like I said. look through those power and passion and venture spontaneity. with just reading those off made me kind of think down the chain a little bit. independence and resourcefulness. that’s good enough. talking to them and I kind of felt like I was on a good level with them. 10 ----------------------. So guys who come over and see me talking with these hot women would immediately think that I was the alpha of the group. I’m going to kick you in the ass. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Sometimes I’m going to kick you so hard. I’m going get my foot stuck up in your ass but I’m going to make sure that this kid gets motivated and moves.CarlosXuma. So you can come up with a story that shows your ambitious side. And I’m also going to watch you and if I see you slacking or not very motivated.com She hates seeing that in her boy because she knows that that’s the one thing that women are attracted to. that acceptance by those other women actually rubbed off on everybody around me. Now. “Oh. Women are unbelievably attracted to your level of ambition. put that in your stories. we sure can think of a lot of positive traits to communicate but these are probably the most important. It was very cool but that’s one of those things that you’ve got to look for and to find stories from your own life. acceptance by other women. So find some stories in your life that communicates those traits. these are just some of the things. That’s an acceptance thing. . I hung out with them for a little while.” No.like one of those lackadaisical teachers that say. That you aren’t going to just take what is given to you. I’m thinking about of a good story. so things back up. we were really connecting and when other people came to that table. And they appreciate that because one thing I’ve seen is that every mother hates about her boy when she sees him. then I want you to find stories in life that communicates those traits. after you’ve figured maybe a story that fits one of those particular areas or use one of those areas. You are doing that aren’t you? Good. after you do that. write them down in your journal or wherever you have keeping the written information that you’re working on in this course. you want to go out there after it all. you know she loves her child but she hates seeing this trait of a boy and that’s a lack of motivation or ambition. I’m going to correct you. LLC. hot women and all these poses and things like that. Acceptance by other women. Everybody’s got them. the acceptance by other women. they immediately associated with me as being kind of a leader of that group because of the interaction and the vibe I was giving off by having just talking with these women. Take a little while.
you’re going to get feedback from people. I want you to make a short list of life experiences that you had. don’t think that you’re story has to be an extreme sport story or extreme adventure story. LLC. nothing’s ever happened to me. I want to try this story out on you. you don’t have to be Hugh that has done all these great stuff in his life or one of these guys. as you tell it. Ask yourself. “Dude. The best way I found to do this is to start out with just the core elements of your story and then just wing it a couple of times. maybe you can even exaggerate a little bit to build in.” No. “Oh man. What do you mean by winging the story? Try it on your friends.” And then again. here’s some questions. I guarantee you’ve got some pretty cool stories. Here are some exercises that can get you started building some good stories. 12 ----------------------. Call up to somebody to work on the stuff with you and say. You don’t have to be some wild adventure playboy type. my life’s boring.CarlosXuma. polish and refine it. You can tell the other parts whether they’re like excited or on the edge of their seat for more. it doesn’t it at all. What’s the most exciting moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most emotional moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most self-defining moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most embarrassing moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most loving moment I’ve had? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.” you know you can tell they’re not interested. Let me see how it sounds. Then I want you to polish and refine your story as you build it and start to tell. You can find quite a bit of life experiences that you can play up. you can tell them that they kind of unplugged or kind of like. no dude.Page 57----------------------www. no.com thought so.com What’s the funniest moment I’ve had? . we can use these and it’s a great way to kind of feed the process. “Ah. you’ll just probably think. Make a short list of life experiences you’ve had.Page 56----------------------www. Again. there’s so many that you’ve had. it doesn’t have to be extreme. 11 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. oh. Those are the things you want to find and tweak within the story. LLC.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions.
It’s a good way to come up with good stories about yourself. I want you to look at the descriptions that they have in those books. I needed more stories. you can do this in erotica too because it’s very similar in a lot of ways. As a matter of fact. kind of crazy I know. I was actually working as a camp counsellor for kids. this helps you come up with stories too. I wasn’t probably much older than the kids I was working on with. You don’t have to read it. like in my case. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I was really young. The bookstore exercise. So there’re some questions to ask yourself to help you come up with those life experiences that will generate stories. “Oh. but after that was over with. when I got down with the trip.CarlosXuma. I didn’t have a lot of friends. So there are stories about needing more stories. I want you to look through it. So there’s a little story there. Make a list of experiences that brought out those qualities in you. it can be very normal but you make it extreme in your own way with your emotional content. “Man. Go to the bookstore and I want you to pick up a cheesy romance novel. I’d just felt like the urge to get things done.Page 58----------------------www.” Even that’s a story because that makes you kick your ass out the door and start doing some things. I’ve strapped it to my friend’s roof and drove it home and I was a kayaker for several years. LLC. you’re just basically saying. the achiever side of me was an experience that brought out that quality of needing to get stuff done or as I like to call it GSD. you don’t even have to buy the damn thing.What are some stories that are needing more stories? In other words. And I would just get on the lawn mower and get that stuff done and I’d go running over to the guy to get more things to do. There’s a reason why romance novels are the top selling books by women. get shit done. Write down this list of your qualities. And that is because they use descriptions in there. have a lot of activities. they’re constructed in a way that appeals to a woman’s psychology and if you’re not studying that sort of thing. I went out and I got them. When I didn’t ass to pretty first moved to San Francisco Bay area. At that point in my life. I’m not doing much of anything. things are boring. Look at the way the authors describe things. Not only they brought them out but they tested you. it doesn’t have to be an extreme. Make a list of experiences that tested those qualities in you. I don’t need to learn that. So one of the things I’ve kicked myself in the do was to go on this kayaking trip on the ocean and that was a cool trip. So when you talk about things. It’s . I’ve had had that happen a lot of the times but I think I had it most when I was a kid. sometimes you run into some point in your life that you’re like. they gave me a job continuing for the rest of the summer by working at the town hall and doing clean-up for the county and things like that.com Again remember. I need to do some more stuff so that I can have stories to tell other people. 13 ----------------------. I bought a kayak. it was my first job.
So go get a cheesy romance novel. and the more that you can relate to that mode of communication the better. I want you to start describing things in detail. how small something was or the facts about it. “You know what? This thing reminds me—I can imagine this as being on my head.” Come on. Here’s a little helmet I got when I was in Greece. Another exercise.” See what I’m doing? I’m trying to imbue a little more emotional content and detail. “Hey. they don’t talk about football facts. I could describe the facts. I really mean this one by the way.Page 59----------------------www. that mane thing brush going across the head. you’re going to hear a lot of emotions described. They talk about relationships a lot. I could also say. LLC. I’m talking to another woman. How they felt about things not how big something was. it’s got some rust on it. You’ve got this horse’s hair. you know. I’m not just telling you this stuff to blow smoke up your ass and come up with lame little exercises for you to do things. And of course. Describing things in detail gets you thinking about adjectives. look at how they describe the things in there. That’s more of a concern to them than anything else. some tarnish. buying a romance novel. it’s like the helmet they used to wear with the brush on top. It’s just as good as that bookstore exercise. I know a great book to get by the way is My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. It’s got some really good information on that one. Women talk to each other in a certain way. makes it look more antique. when you hear their conversations. And just the way that green tarnish kind of accents it. . Another exercise. Go do this one. A lot more. Not exactly the way a woman does because you don’t want her thinking subconsciously.CarlosXuma. you don’t have to like it. listen to a woman’s conversation.” But you do want to reach her on the same wavelength. Women talk about relationships. that nosepiece there. whether it’s in your head or in your journal or wherever you want to do it. You’re going to immediately understand how they communicate and how you need to start trying to communicate to them. they talk about how those football players get along with each other. thinking about how you’ll describe something. Again. Listen to how women say things and talk about things with each other. I can do a lot better than that but you get the idea. find ways to describe things. from the movie? If I was going to describe this. 14 ----------------------. you just have to be able to emulate it. I would describe this as being kind of brass. emotional content. I © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.com could have pulled this off or find somewhere a dig in the middle of nowhere in Greece. I’m not sure why they put that on there but it’s a trip. it’s the perfect way to learn how women think. somebody’s swinging a sword. Obviously it was a very small person wearing it. it was kind of like the “300” thing. listen how women talk to each other.the goal I’m going after but I don’t want to learn it.
Then forget that you actually memorized it. I won’t just become a random stuff. I won’t just come up with a starting stuff and then the ending stuff and then I’ll backtrack. that’s what I’ve noticed is that I come up with new things that I remembered suddenly from my childhood and I’m instantly. like I said. I’ve got to relate that word for word because I memorized it so just I would be able to do that.” there’s no emotion in it. Because the next time you go out and actually tell the story. memorize only the order and the important © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. Because you’re going to come up with other stories and you’ll know how to tell them based on having done that before. Do this for 2 to 3 stories.” And you feel obligated to recite it like you’re reading some play or some poem that you memorized. Don’t worry. it’s a better way to relate your story. bullet points only. you’re not going to do that process ever again. I don’t want you getting into a conversation and then somewhere in your head you think. 15 ----------------------. I say that because again.Then you need to write down. you’re going to try and match what you memorized. because then you’re going to feel like you need to memorize it word for word and that’s going to put you back up in your head. it’s much better if you just memorized the important points and then kind of extemporaneously and just improvisational come up with other stuff to add to it. The meta-skill comes after you do this a couple of times. I don’t want you to do that.com details. Again. The order of what you want to say and the important details. I’ll know how to tell the story based on how I’ve learned to tell a story. Bullet points only. The point is to come up with the important things as much as you can and not get caught up in here trying to pull out the memorization. Write down a story of your own. You lose a lot of life in it. sit down. once you do this a couple of times. Have you ever known somebody that memorized something and they recite it back and they say it really quick and they say. “Wait a minute. After you’ve come down with the process of writing down the story of your own. I’ll come back again. memorize just the order and some of the details then forget that you actually memorized it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . not word for word.CarlosXuma. You want to have 2 or 3 good hip-pocket stories that you can pull out at any given moment and talk about something and you need to listen for words in her conversation. That’s not the point. they just memorized it? There’s no emotions there. you will. “blah blah blah. It’s really weird. There’s a reason why. I know that I a lot of people would give you advice saying you need to write it down word for word. I’m going to talk about that and how you pull it out and how you actually relate it back to the conversation. just go out and start telling it. LLC. as I’m recalling it. this is the most important exercise that you can do. I’ve got a memorized story that I can use.Page 60----------------------www.
upstate New York or Canada. The one thing that I can tell you to really. Believe me. Channel that experience and emotions. is to start to relive the experience of whatever it is you’re telling. I remember hockey from being back in New York. 17 ----------------------.com I will actually know how to relate a story saying it.Page 62----------------------www. really improve your stories once you start telling them. how do I actually start telling the story and make seem like it fits into the conversation?” Easy. I was talking to my friend about starting that and I remembered. The shorter the better at first. chances are I’m going to immediately go.. Hockey. LLC. The shorter the better..” I can come up with that one. if a woman mentions anything about Niagara Falls. Toronto and I’m thinking of all these areas that relate back to my memory of that story. naturally. It’ll just come up out of the blue. Feed off of the keyword in something she says that reminds you of your story.big on hockey. For example. once you start your story the woman’s not going to stop you and go. keep them short at first. LLC. “as you’re saying that you reminded me. to somebody as I’m recalling it and it a couple of times with a one story comes naturally. 16 ----------------------. In other words. and this is how you actually bring it into the conversation if you’re worried about. . Here’s how you actually use stories in your conversation. I want to get your opinion on something. say something like.. that story I have about going to Canada and closing at 1 o’clock. That’s ice. it immediately be able to just create stories experiences.CarlosXuma.Page 61----------------------www. “Whoa. that reminds me of.” these are all different ways that would just segue into the story.com about. There’s a lot of stuff that kind of hinted that. “I once. It’s really weird but if you do of your own and you’ll see what I mean.CarlosXuma. First of all. “Hey Carlos. You’ll be off the cuff based on your So there is the exercises portion for you and how to start or get started on this.” It doesn’t happen.. “You know. “Oh.” and start your story.. That doesn’t connect with what I was talking © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. New York . she wants to hear your stories so she’s going to immediately go along with it. that way you don’t have a lot of stress about telling a big long story and the other person doesn’t have to get bored with you trying to tell the big long story. like when she was talking about her friend going to go see a shark’s game which is a hockey game. wait a minute.” again..oductions.
It will help give life to your story and the enthusiasm when you need it. you’re going to be doing a lot better than most guys doing conversations with women. I’m starting to remember this now. And having a few good stories will actually help you feeling like you’ve got ammo to keep going. humor.Page 63----------------------www. like Brad P. to be able to recall those emotions. they were actually holding a boot camp at the time. chilling out. I had a couple of drinks. So on the next thing that we’re going to talk about. There you go. 3. it’s not that hard. I remember there was no wind and I’m remembering that I felt really good that night. How to talk to women is not difficult when you have things to talk about. I’m starting to feel the emotions of being there again. I was talking to some of their guys. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. boot camp of storytelling. Get going. I can kind of remember. There was a couple of friends there that I knew.Like let’s fall back to my story about the Playboy mansion and the hanging out with those chicks. That helps a lot. some other people were there. and Nick Savoy from Love Systems. LLC. So feel the story as you’re doing it.. you’ve got it. There’s no secret to this. That’s it. channel the experience and the emotions. The hardest part about this is really just finding something to tell a story about and then doing it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it was a warm summer night and this really nice weather. That’s pretty much all you need to know about storytelling. See you then. 18 ----------------------. get 2 or 3 stories under your belt and be able to pull them out when you need them and trust me. just hanging out. storytelling in a nutshell.. some of my friends actually showed up there that I had no idea were going to be there. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1.CarlosXuma. You don’t need a lot of clever detail. . You just need to sit down and do it and try it and start working it. you don’t need a whole week long. 2. talking to some of the guys. material. How to make women laugh.
“Oh. it’s a release to the nervous system. At the same time. So those are the things I’m going to focus on right now.com MODULE 5: How To Make Women Laugh I’m a comedian? Well yeah. something that you’re trying to figure out and somebody’s tried to explain it to you in a way that finally clicked and you’re like. This is one of the things I have to really be careful explaining because a lot of guys think that you can just learn humor from a book or learn humor by listening to somebody’s explanation of it. first and foremost. LLC.” and literally you laugh. Humor very much falls into the category of art form as opposed to something you can just learn to by rote. why does humor mean so much? Or why does it mean so much in conversations when you’re learning how to talk with women? Humor is. there are a lot of things you can just do really quickly to step-up your humor from whatever level you may be at right now and you know.CarlosXuma. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. 1 ----------------------. But the problem is. Humor. the different types and the different keys to using it. why does it work? First off all.Page 64----------------------www. 3. You laugh because you see what you couldn’t see before and it’s a release of energy.Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. But at the same time. everybody really does have it .they just kind of pull themselves away from the more humorous side. hopefully you are a little bit. I’ve got to tell you. We’re going to talk about humor right now in this module and how it works. being a funny person runs the fine line of being one of those things that either you have it or don’t. 2. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . increase it quite a bit and improve it quite a bit. They got really serious and they covered themselves up with a bunch of serious stuff and they haven’t learned how to let out their inner goofball. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today. I know you’ve never had this experience before but have you ever had a moment of “A-ha” where you just suddenly realized something.
CarlosXuma. your ability to laugh at things and manage your own stress is a survival trait but it’s also an indication of having advanced pattern recognition.oductions. I didn’t see that before. LLC. What else in your life is a release? Sex? That’s why humor is so closely paired in a woman’s mind. Laughter really is a medicine. Dr. I’ve actually published a few on the blog that they talk about the fact that humor is an evolutionary mechanism. It’s a primal signal of intelligence. what they’re doing is. Now. The reason that women are actually attracted to guys with a sense of humor is because having a good sense of humor means you have an intelligence to see patterns which is actually the next thing. 2 ----------------------. it has that same element to it. 1 ----------------------. He has to hunt his food. “Oh. LLC. Women feel it as a release. but he did it in such a way that he proved that having a positive comedic having humor in his life at that point was the most essential thing because it stimulated his immune system. humor is a release. He had cancer and he put himself on a strict diet of Three Stooges films and comedies and things like that and he laughed himself. literally laughed his cancer away.” Right? That’s pretty much it. this isn’t something that every guy out there would do.CarlosXuma. he has to think of clever ways to help his family survive. Humor as well as a good orgasm is also a form of a release to her. It actually was doing healthy things to him that combated and actually helped him overcome the cancer in his life. they’re just seeing patterns of things and relating them back to you in a way that you go. They just need that release. If you listen to what comedians say.Page 65----------------------www. When you get out of that show. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. humor ends up something as being of a release. Humor is also a primal signal of intelligence.com If you’ve ever gone to a comedy show. So remember.com So that’s why humor works.Page 66----------------------www. that’s more than worth it if you ask me. . That’s why it’s an essential primal mechanism for women. the same thing is true. Think of what advanced pattern recognition could mean to some caveman somewhere who’s trying to survive in a very chaotic and uncontrollable world where he has to fight for his food. you feel kind of laid back and relaxed because you laughed for a while. Norman Cousins has actually proved this. Now if we can just do that on a daily basis with out stress. they’ve done studies on this. Pattern recognition is extremely important and that’s where humor again comes into the mix.
I retell that joke. Guys who take things too seriously tend to be strung too tight. manage the stressful things in life. LLC.Page 67----------------------www. I can start teasing and can be . a lot of guys don’t know that but they use cocky-funny. right? All you’ve got to do is learn a few lines from a joke I read somewhere whether it’s on the playboy advisor or some tasteless joke book somewhere. “Oh. beware.I also have a theory that humor is important because humor shows that a guy can manage the stress level in his life but also he cannot take things too seriously. right? It sounds like he’s joking about something and it suddenly got that ring of truth to it with the woman’s going. 3 ----------------------. I have to say that when you ask women.CarlosXuma. humor. this is one thing that most of gurus out there don’t talk about. In other words. You don’t want to overwork it. Jokes. But there’s also a kind you want to be careful about using. maybe other women. they’re a little bit wrapped too tight but a guy that can have a good sense of humor about things is going to have a lower threshold of blowing his stack when the time comes. Really important there again. Because using cocky-funny can often make you look a little bit arrogant. instant transfusion of humor. maybe you’re a 7 or an 8 or a 9 or a 10 on a scale. “Oh. you just want me for my body. but now not me. they’ll make jokes about. Teasing.com Almost every woman would say. especially when you’re talking with women because it’s the most effective form of humor that women respond the most to and gets you the most results in terms of building attraction and connection.” OK? So keep that in mind. what do you think of him?” (and it could be ANY guy) © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. he’s cute. You’re going to recognize when these types of humor being one that you can grab hold on to and leverage. and you should. Be careful and beware of this. This one’s really important especially in dating.” But the guys that stand out a little bit. Beware though. This is important too because you’re going to find in here some strengths of your own. Jokes are a good form of humor because they allow you to memorize a pattern of humor and relate it again. you know. It’s like a module of humor that anybody can take and reuse and get the benefit of. he can manage stress. right? It’s the one I think most guys fall into. Now. “Oh. “Oh well. Cocky and funny. pretty obvious for me. You don’t want to tell too many jokes. So that’s one of the things I believe. the different types of humor. If you’re considerably attractive in any way and you know what? I hate to say this but most guys are. if you know that you’re a little bit more attractive than maybe some of the other guys out there.” And that sounds stuck up coming from a guy who actually is attractive.
So teasing of course can also be funny and should be funny if it’s doing anything else but teasing. she blew it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. that’s why I liked hanging out with my cousin. And he’s the exact opposite of sarcastic humor.” he was kind of little bit slow but he was kind of funny. Somebody like Dane Cook. and you have to know how to not overuse them to have a good effect with them. “Wow man. I just think to be. all the protection mechanisms really that try and keep you shielded away from somebody so they can’t see the real you and you’re just letting yourself be a total dork. He’s pissed. Unfortunately though. It’s the goofy-silly.” But that’s where a lot of humor comes from. But they’re a great form of humor too.’” Where you say something. He’s funny. All the stupid defense mechanisms. My cousin had some really cute friends. It also communicates bad things about you in some ways.CarlosXuma. you just forgot how to use it. that guy’s like. The girls would just love it. Her friends would love it. so casual. or however that French sounding thing is. so fun. You have to know when to use them. One of my favorite comedians is Eddie Izzard and his humor is. you’re poking a little fun. probably the perfect form of humor because it’s so laid back. It’s like you’ve got an acidic aftertaste that you’ve got this bitter edge to you. I think it’s a distinctly different energy. Another is my personal favorite. And I would just do these goofy faces and I would be this total dork I didn’t have anything to memorize. Sarcasm is also a form of humor. You are using an energy that you used to use when you were a kid. You know. It’s just fun. LLC. There’s also the sexual double entendre. but he’s angry. whoo. you’re like. “Oh. Butthead would always laugh. so goofy. I’m not saying that he’s not funny but he’s got that angry edge to him and you get that feeling of.” Let me give you an example of the exact opposite of this. you’re just kind of taking down all the barriers around you. It’s coming from a much more confident frame. He’s angry. “He said ‘blow. I wasn’t trying to be .com It’s the kind of thing that. I’ll put a little asterisk on this. they think it was hysterical because I was just kind of being goofy. This is where you are just plain. a goofball. it comes from a little bit of anger. letting your personality float man. I used to do this when I was a kid and I would keep my cousin in stitches this goofy character I used to call.Page 68----------------------www. the double entendre is when you say something that has dual meaning. I just had to ask like this dork. right? Those can be funny and you should use those in conversations. “Wow. There are some comedians. it was in Beavis and Butthead. when you listen to them. they would eat it up. “His name was George.” That’s funny because that has a dual meaning. it’s dark. 4 ----------------------. that you can’t take offense at it.different from cocky-funny by the way because teasing is a slightly different energy.
but kind of have a little bit of a smirk. “I talk fast. they just like usin g jokes. “You know. You’ve got to know how to use it. right?” You’ve got to let her in on it. humor is tension release. They have to be. If you’re too serious. Practice your timing. you look like you’re just clueless. Timing is really important. you know I’m joking. whenever it may . Teasing same thing. LLC.” You know he used to joke about that but timing within humor is very important because when you pause. It was like letting them see a part of you that they know is there and most guys are hiding but they want to see. And it’s that ability to be vulnerable. And you’ve got to know how to really build up tension and ride it a little bit because remember.” You know. not like a goofy. Knowing when to just stop for a second. it took me a while to catch on to being a comedian because they say that comedy is all about timing.CarlosXuma. Steve Martin used to have a joke of his own. Here’re some advice on teasing. You let her in on the joke a little bit by going. smile when you’re delivering this stuff. after you told a joke to go. I drew your attention for a second and then I finished what I said. This is really important. I would have to be guilty. You’re not looking self-amused. Jokes. kind of like. that looks stupid. So don’t be the first person to laugh at your jokes. If you know when to not say something. If you don’t get a laugh during your joke. Did you see what I just did there? I just paused. when the punchline comes. “Ha ha. And you’re going to find it. “And then the farmer said. 5 ----------------------. So you’re going to have to smile to compensate for that. he said. I would advice that you would take some of the angry edge off of it and you can still make it fun. the more tension you had before it the more laughs after it. And of course there are other types but these are some of the primary types of humor that you’re going to use. you can give weight and meaning to things. you run the risk of her reacting to what you’re saying before she’s had the chance to be let in on the joke. a lot of guys tend to fall into this category. you look stupid because you look like you’re just. don’t laugh at your own jokes. First of all. In other words.somebody I wasn’t because I was kind of goofy but they loved it. “Come on.” Pausing will give weight and meaning to anything that you’re saying and it works especially good in jokes.com that you just met doesn’t know how to calibrate to you yet. The woma n © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. Also. She doesn’t know how to read you. one of these is going to be the one that you will fall into more than another. wait for it.Page 69----------------------www. Pausing at the right time.” you know. Don’t laugh at yourself. I think that goofy-silly really translates to vulnerability on a funny level. Humor is tension. Don’t be the first one. you make a little face at her. Sarcasm. probably the most guilty of not pausing very much.
not getting a laugh is often a good thing because the next joke you tell. I love that movie but one of the mistakes was that serious moment there where Cameron is getting pissed off at her dad’s car. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. But again. How could I be so stupid?” I think of the ultimate example of this self-deprecating thing is being Chris Farley. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . make a self-deprecating remark of some kind. OK? Do you have any jokes?” You know you can have fun with the moment of having fun with yourself. this is sickening. This is important. you know when he used to do that thing when he’s like.” They know how to pace they know how to throw the humor at you and control burst. It really gets uncomfortable because there’s nothing really funny in there. “Oh man. As a matter of fact. 6 ----------------------. I’ve a break man. go easy on it. He’d slap himself around. They know when to throw something a little funny and then they know how to top it off with something that’s super funny. One that comes to mind is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. remember that humor is simply not an essential element of every single conversation. that was a dramatic portion of the movie and it was meant to be that way. Humor is meant to spice things up and then you delicately throw it in along the way. funny movies are a great way to hone that skill. don’t say. It’s just like seasoning your cooking. funny movies. really. “OK. And then think about the mistakes you’ve seen in certain comedies. how they constructively use that.Page 70----------------------www. He went to the extreme. You don’t have to be super-humorous funny guy. it’s a little bit of a nervous laugh but that whole section is not very funny. OK? Think about that. It’s good to have a light hearted air about you and I think I talked about that in another section of this program.be. 20 minutes in and you’d be. Funny movies are not funny all the way through would literally be like. LLC. you can just make a self-deprecating remark like.” He used to hit himself on the head. not too much. It’s not essential though that you’re riproaring Seinfeld comedian. they’re going to want to laugh at. they really will and as long as it’s not a lame one. Jokes. So it just basically spices things up and then you delicately throw it in along the way. you’ll do fine.com If you don’t get a laugh.CarlosXuma. right? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I just think they dragged it out too long without kind of figuring out the pacing of it. that’s so stupid. I think it’s a great movie. You have to know how and when to throw humor in. even when he trashes the car. First of all. So again. He would do anything for a laugh. go back to improvisation class. “Note to self. Think about because you got to take themselves. you’re kind of like. When you watch a comedy. When it comes to jokes. start the conversation with humor but don’t go too far. “Oh. I’m such an idiot.
I remember distinctly actually. foul sense of humor but I make sure that I ease people into it because if I jump right in quickly. The structured. 8 ----------------------. just apologize in a good natured way. If she doesn’t get over it. Honestly.” You have fun with that moment. “You know it was nice meeting you at the party and everything but I don’t think we’re quite a match. I went too far.com Be way over the top so that she knows that you’re joking initially. kind of like Dennis Miller does his rants.” First.CarlosXuma. “Is he joking?” She doesn’t know if you’re joking. be fore . get rid that are out there. there’s a certain price you don’t have to pay to get a woman. Just say something like. maybe tease or used cocky-funny. Assume a woman is cool but again. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I have been very guilty at times of using sexual humor and using risqué humor a little too early in the conversation and as a result. I forgot that I put it in there but it definitely pissed her off because she sent an e-mail back later that day saying. I have an extremely raunchy. you’ve got to slap my wrist because otherwise I can’t go on with the conversation. I shouldn’t be including her on that e-mail list but I got the idea. I’ll see you later. That’s my motto. so you have to be a little over the top. the women to be around. No. So if she doesn’t get over it. I wrote one and it was really pretty offensive because I put something in it that said the rule about a guy eventually becoming tired of sleeping with a woman he’s with and I put that in an e-mail. LLC. So you’ve got to ease your way with people. “Whoa. and you think you might have made a mistake.Page 72----------------------www.” And I was like. 7 ----------------------. get rid of her. It takes time for her to understand when you were actually joking and when you’re not. I burned myself. apologize and then move on.com If a woman responds negatively to your humor whatever it may be. ease your way into humor. And for them. Slap my wrist please. LLC.oductions. So give her time to figure you out a little bit before you start tricking things up a little bit. If the woman that you’re talking to takes something you say offensively and then won’t let it go or acts bitchy or just can’t seem to get past it. she was really cute and I was sending out e-mails at the time I was writing my own rants. Here.” and I’m thinking to myself. “OK. I’m sorry. I met this one gal.CarlosXuma. the one that are too that just don’t plain get it and aren’t very fun of pretentious diva women around these days. I can really burn some bridges. OK? This is where some guys are in the foul because they kind of deadpan a little bit and it also becomes like. And one of them is dealing with the bitchy women one with no sense of humor. I turn some women off. they will savvy to your sense of humor. slap my wrist. Calibration.Page 71----------------------www. crude. think of what being with this woman for more than just a night would mean. “Well. eventually. Alright? So a lot you’ve got to watch out of her.
And I think that it’s actually essential if you’re learning how to build up your own sense of humor. they’ve got to get something done. “He’s not here.” he’s trying to stop humor. very lightly sprinkled in and still have a lot of effect. this guy is going to be like calling me every night. I’m going to be honest with you. “OK. I think that’s perfectly acceptable. There’s actually this great example where I talk about this thing. it’s because she knew that I was being so serious because I felt like I had an agenda. it doesn’t have to be original. Everything’s cool.you start busting her balls. I heard this guy talking about Bill Clinton. it’s like a person and you’re in a group and they’re making fun of the guy and he’s like. he’s the guy that people keep going on and on and on and ragging on and they won’t stop. That’s why guys are so serious. I’m not going to be a total needy little wuss as soon as I get in with you.CarlosXuma. OK. make you go along with anything?” And you can hear him go. I want to reemphasize that humor as an element of conversation with women can be very. A kind of. He’s going to want to pin me down in a relationship before I’m ready. So there you go from what I talked about before. I can poke a little fun in stuff. LLC.” It’s a little joke. and there’s a joke that I had. your lightheartedness and translating into your personality. “Oh boy. I learned this myself back in high school. That’s what she’s looking at. 9 ----------------------. I thought it was pretty funny and the way I preface it is with. gut bursting laugh with you or anything like that. Why? It’s because he’s trying to control the humor.” She sees a lot of things and she interprets a lot of things from seriousness that guys just don’t understand.” I’m giving a bit of credit. It’s not that you’re making her bust out. What it’s about is showing a light-heartedness about your approach to life. He’s going to want to jump in bed too soon. Have everyone knows how Bill Clinton could make you like him with his charm. She’s taking your level of humor that you’re throwing in. And I figured out why. There was a time when I was pretty serious with women. Take as much as you like. where I say basically. I stole that from a comedian.” You know.Page 73----------------------www. that’s just the way it is. seriously but. “OK. I’m just re-relating it in a way that lets her have another laugh at it. They didn’t like it at all. I would always get really serious and they didn’t dig it. I heard this guy talking about Bill Clinton once. but seriously. I’m not saying that this is my joke. right? But that’s from a comedian. “You know. I’m not going to take all the credit for it. borrow as much humor as you like. he’s obviously a total stiff about it. . And as I like to say. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. they will stop all that much sooner.” and you’d be like. “I am not here. “You know I heard this guy talking about Bill Clinton and he said. “I’m cool and laid back.com Because a serious personality is a serious bummer for most women. steal as much as you like. Whereas if he goes with it and he jokes with them and goes along with them.” Because it’s that seriousness that tells a woman that.
This is where you joke about things by pushing the timeline a little bit. So when it comes to making a woman laugh. “You know what? This is stupid. she’s looking for reasons to laugh in the conversation.” See what I did? I purposely misunderstood her. “She was eaten by a shark. don’t go crazy. “OK. Have fun with it. go to an improv class is one of the exercises. I just kind of laid back and I just realized.Page 74----------------------www. There you go. I’ve got actually to share with you. it doesn’t take much. Oh. I wouldn’t go along with that and try to stop them from joking about it and then one night. LLC. Another mistake in interpretation.” right the other guy? And they thought that was hysterical that I finally joked about that because obviously I didn’t have a butt. It’s just the way it works. pick-up a few books. “She works at the park. I’ll take the house and the kids. Mistake in interpretation is something like. It doesn’t have to be cracking up or side splitting humor. I used a word that rhymed with it.my friend . you know I really. I’m Butts. you get the Yugo. The first context or frame you said is that she’s already your girlfriend and you’re already breaking up with her.said that he was Crockett and I looked at him and said. There’s fast forward humor.” and I’ve re-interpreted it as. I’m not going to show you this. I want a divorce. The next thing’s you’re going to be looking at my shopping list. your lesson in humor.” Have fun. it just have to be a light-hearted sense of having fun in the moment. she works at the park. Over-interpret or misinterpret. I was this little skinny kid so I didn’t really have a butt and for the longest time it bugged me that they would do this and I was just being like. Some examples here.He said this joke that I had no ass. I had no butt. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I’ll go along with them on it. “Your mom’s eaten by a shark? That’s horrible. “Yeah. You should’ve said that first man.” instead of “Tubbs. That’s it. alright? Is that fair?” So what am I doing? I’m having fun with her by joking about a situation that hasn’t even come up yet and again she learns that I’m light-hearted about . 10 ----------------------.com Here are some examples of humor that you’re going to use. I can’t believe you’re like hitting on me in the grocery store. There’s a mistake in the interpretation.” Have fun. OK? So you say something like. Like women you first meet this stuff works great.CarlosXuma. by obviously joking about a situation that doesn’t exist. You see what happened there? I totally deflated and there was a stress relief and everybody thought it was hysterical and funny and they never bothered me about that again because they realized that I finally got the joke.” And somebody made a joke about us being like the characters on Miami Vice and then one guy . “Oh my God. You just open up a door and barely do anything and she’ll laugh anyways. the stuff I’m going to buy in here is top secret.
what’s his name. I think we need to see a marriage counselor.CarlosXuma. you’re back again? Look. ha ha ha. Can I just give you an autograph and you’ll go away?” Here’s another one. A guy dancing topless. “You know. 11 ----------------------.” And I’ll put my arm around her on this one.” and I’ll put my arm around her and then she’ll go along with it because she wants to go along with the joke.com Here’s put up on humor. you take that away from her and she has to earn it back now.the whole topic and probably not the clingy. Here’s an example. that’s it? Now you want me to forgive you for having an affair with that movie star. “You know. This stuff is really good. did I say that? That has so never happened to me before. earn one little Oscar and every woman on the planet wants to get with me. Here’s a good one. OK? This is good stuff. OK? So she does make a small mistake of some kind. I will do my husbandly duty and I will pretend.” talk to her as if she’s your bratty little sister. big deal. This is where you joke about her trying to pick you up. you might have to pay me some royalties. She’s now been put in this little corner of being a bratty sister. huh? Role reversal humor. at the theatre so I get all my movies for free.” See. Pretending. Pretty cool. because they want to accepted. You probably heard this a hundred times but it’s really a great way because it communicates in so many different levels that she is women are in a social environment because they want to meet people. And say something like. I star in one movie. And by framing her in this context. I’ve already got a sister. kind of like you’re a girl. for tonight. “You know. “Oh my God. you’re not going to try and get me drunk and dance topless again. This is humor like. And there you get a little bit of a physical contact. Gees.” She does something small that’s wrong. Oops. I love this one. Let’s go to exaggeration humor. “Oh God. LLC. A very simple thing that they desire. are you? No way. “Oh my God. Here’s another one. you’re a diva or some kind of movie star. you’ve got to really play up the overplaying element so she doesn’t think that you’re serious. What do you got to offer?” See what I got there? A little bit of qualification I built into that one. needy guy if I’m joking like this. I’ve never done that. she’s not quite as cute as you but you know what? She’s got a hook up at the cinema. this is a classic by the way. they want to be acceptable and attractive to guys and other women.” You’re playing up the whole. I’ll use this as a license to get more physical with her because what did I just say at the end there? “OK. if you want to stand by me like this. “I’m really famous. we’re just not working out but for tonight I’ll do my husbandly duty and I’ll pretend.Page 75----------------------www. I’m having a little fun with the whole change in role reversals. “Oh. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. but now you . You exaggerate things like. I will make you look good though so it’s worth it. but making it fun. She’s got to earn her way back to being a cool chick again so that she can get back to the level where she was before.
It’s actually a form of teasing too. so there. you’re over dramaticizing her little compliment which really wasn’t a compliment at all. but she compliments you in kind of a lame way which is a lot of women do. when she compliments you. where you take on a female point of view about something and joke about her with it. you throw that one at her. I’ll give you an example here.Page 76----------------------www. where she’ll say something nice or she’ll try and say something nice about you and you turn it around and you jack up the energy.com but now. so watch for that. Let’s go to the compliment returns. 12 ----------------------. take whatever she says and make a mistake out of it on purpose. Six good examples of different kinds of humor that you can use. The fast forward where you actually assume some future role and then you translate back. . she’s just saying something and throwing it out there © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Role reversal humor. it’s so embarrassing and now I’m getting a little teary. I do want to give you a few warnings. She’s late for whatever reason. Put upon humor. Exaggeration humor. So you make a joke about that and you jack up the energy. you think you could just flatter me and I would jump in bed with you? Please stop. LLC. So that’s why this one works really good. this one’s a little more complicated but it’s a big payoff when you realize how to use it. take something to the extreme. The mistake in the interpretation. Don’t make fun of yourself too much because it comes across as being kind of insecure. you’re overplaying. you’ve got to take what she says and turn it to your own humorous little edge and own demented meaning. She says something like.disrespect me too. it was kind of like a little joke in itself. And then the compliment return. So there are some examples. I gave you some examples. where she’s your little bratty sister and she is so annoying you. You have to go over the top to kind of create the frame on this one. “Oh sure. OK.” and now you say something back like. You’ve got to have fun with her and poke the drama button a little bit. Don’t poke too much fun at yourself when you’re using humor. What you’re trying to do is one up her in terms of the energy of what’s going on.” OK? You’re playing it up. “You’re funny. So let’s say a woman compliments you.” This is like an example of her coming or showing up late at something.CarlosXuma.
Watch shows like What’s My Line? They are incredible. maximum per night. Read a joke book and then choose to commit one joke to memory.” And they’ll sense that so be careful about that. you’re just going to be even if they don’t get pissed. LLC. line for line. one of those jokes. I’ll look up a joke site. someone’s going to get pissed. you don’t want to retell the joke again because that starts to get a bit old and they’re going to be like. it was funny and all. “I don’t remember any of those jokes. Guys who have . in other words. “OK. And inevitably. you’ll get caught reading the joke book and then you won’t stop and then you’ll be like. 13 ----------------------. you’ll probably have it down fairly good. Because what’ll happen.” Isn’t that weird? Commit to choosing one and then don’t read anymore jokes. you’ll tell a joke then she’ll tell a joke and we’ll see who has the best joke.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. you’ll see what these guys do with just off the cuff stuff they invent in the spur of the moment and it will totall y inspire you to try and reach beyond yourself to be a little bit more funny. it didn’t offend me but it was inappropriate.Page 78----------------------www. They will just look at you and like.CarlosXuma. avoiding those dark things. By the time you get done telling that to three people. 14 ----------------------. Watch improv. you guys want a joke off?” And they’ll look at you and like. “I don’t remember any of them. “OK.” You might get away with it once but twice is going to be a little tough so watch out for doing that. religion or race until you’re really comfortable with the people you’re with. Get your minds out of the gutter. Here’s some exercises I want you to do. I’ll tell a joke. there’s this guy and he walks into a bar. OK? And you know that they’re really cool but inevitably.com Don’t repeat a joke that you’ve told in a group you’re in.com Take an improve class. joke off . one classical.” you know. “Hey. “What?” and say. “No. LLC.” It always happens. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.CarlosXuma. OK? That’s it. I’ll read a bunch of great jokes and then I’ll walk away and I’ll be like.Page 77----------------------www.” That’s a great way of leading in to tell jokes in a conversation. I heard this the other time. I can’t recommend this enough. Also. no. And avoid the land mine of all humor situations which is: don’t joke about politics. “Hey. you’re with a group of people and then maybe you’re with this chick and then you and her go to another group or you and your wingman and one other girl is there go to another group. And then tell that joke to three different people. you’re going to be showing a callous disregard for social norms by doing this. tell one joke. OK? Unless you’re getting into a joke off contest of some kind and that’s actually another fun thing to do is to say. OK? So that’s how you get a joke into your memory and using it.
You want to understand how to work the moment. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. It’s a very positive frame of mind to be in. next module coming up. no. we’re going to talk about some specific tools to use in your conversation and I’m also going to get into the phone conversation as well as electronic and texting conversations with women. I don’t like that.done this have understood what an important step this is.CarlosXuma. 2. but. Alright. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. “No.” but the “Yes. not denying anything. You have to be able to be more freeassociating. you can’t just deny and say. And then sit down and watch some good sitcoms to give you an idea of good timing and how to work the moment a little bit. So see you in the next module.” You have to take whatever they say and then use it and run with it and then have fun with it and be funny with it. There’s four good exercises for you to do and you should do them because you will learn from them and you will learn more about how to make women laugh. LLC. you have to get out of your head and get more in the moment.” which means that anything that somebody says to you in improv. Say something else to me.” not the “Yes. where you see that the comedians know how to pause for a second and look and they work that moment and you see the audience start to giggle and then start to become funnier and funnier and funnier. 15 ----------------------. material. they call the “Yes. Watch their timing.. It’s not funny. so watch those kinds of shows where there’s a moment like that where there’s just a silence where everybody kind of like works the moment or maybe some slapstick.. you’re accepting. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. . you’ll learn an awful lot.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. They’re excellent at doing this kind of thing. Some good TV shows have this by the way. Not only you were just learning how to be more funny and things like that but relating to and talking to women on a relaxed basis because they teach you how to think in a different way and improv.Page 79----------------------www. and. And you have to learn things like how to just be. and.
Here’re some things you can watch for. 2. look into what she’s wearing and it gives you an idea how you can do a cold read on her as to why she’s wearing certain clothes. A lot of conversation in that. you’re going to find out some really deep rapport type stuff with that.CarlosXuma. when your looking for something to say to her or when you’re trying to keep the conversation going.” It should get a whole long story behind that. “So what’s the meaning of it? Because I know you probably spent a lot of time figuring out what you wanted to get. she thought long and hard about why she chose that tattoo and where she put it and what it means to her. LLC. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. in other words.” Like. We’re going to go into environment as a factor in your conversations and how to use it. What is she wearing? What is she not wearing? You know what I mean? Check into what she’s wearing. you need things to burn and you need things to be able to say during the conversation. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. Clothes. And that’s one of the questions I ask is.com MODULE 6: Conversational Tools I’m going to go specifically into things pretty much any guy can use to make sure that he’s keeping a good conversation going. you need fuel. where did you get that done?” And the I ask her right after that. I call this finding “seeds.3. Why did she choose that? Compliment her on it . It has meaning to her. again these may seem specific but you can find any of these things with any woman. Using her as a source of those things is the penultimate way of making sure you can keep it going. 3. let’s say she’s got a tattoo. So let’s start right out here.Page 80----------------------www. Where did you get it? How did you get it? A tattoo is very personal to a woman. “I really like the tattoo. I start conversations with women based on their tattoos than anything else. As a matter of fact. 1 ----------------------. Using her as part of the environment.
use any kind of accessory she happens to be carrying. Her cellphone and accessories that she’s carrying with her. Don’t go too far with the shoes thing because you can seem a little gay and don’t make it the first thing. I have a bunch of exclusive photo albums that I keep on my iPhone for every conversation. You know. Why she chose that one. Jewelry always has a story behind it. me on a bridge in Venice. Shoes are important to women.Page 82----------------------www. But somewhere in there you can talk about her shoes. that’s a conversation all in there. My own cellphone is an iPhone and I keep a bunch of pictures on it. really? Let me check it out because I was actually looking at getting one of these at one point. Necklaces.Page 81----------------------www. Women just don’t wear things for no good reason. sitting on the bridge. This is a really good one. what’s the first question she asks? “What kind? What kind of dog you’ve got?” “Oh. find out why. bam. And she’ll ask more questions about them and I won’t say a thing about them because I won’t be bragging. Don’t start exploring her phone too much because that’s still personal in a way. It does have a little bit of meaning from you but usually not nearly as much as what women have for the meaning. pull out a ring.and ask her about it. anklets. find a way to bridging into the conversation. Rings that she wears. She chose those. belly button rings. same thing. there you go. guys do. The pictures themselves start conversations like that. she spent time thinking about them.com Jewelry. plus as you’re scrolling through pictures on your phone. I’ll let her make a big deal out of it. so use her cellphone. you can use her cellphone as a source of conversation. let me show you. “Oh. 1 ----------------------. 2 ----------------------. OK so that’s what I do. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. my dog. or . “Got any pictures on this? You got any music?” Anything like this that maybe she wants to show you. I’m not going to make a big deal out of it.CarlosXuma. slap it on my finger or whatever. Shoes. You can ask her. LLC. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I’ll say something like. so she’s going to ask questions about that. I just reach into the drawer.” You know. just shoot the crap about it. Maybe she’s got a really cool looking purse. Bracelets. toe rings.” I’ll pull it up on the phone. I mean. he’s just a pain these days.” and instantly. you come across ones that you want her to see.” “Oh. It’s me in a soccer jersey and I’m sitting on the bridge in Venice and it’s quite obvious that it’s not in the US.CarlosXuma. LLC. “Oh it came with my plan.com You see how invaluable using gadgets and things like these can be? These are props too. more instant conversation.
For example. LLC.Page 83----------------------www. Where you look around you and each of you has to find one person that looks like a movie star then you tell the other person which person to look at and you have to guess which movie star you think they look like.CarlosXuma. so that was kind of cool and there I initialized the whole conversation. this is gold. Where you are gives you a lot of things to talk about. And there was this girl obviously like a college age girl. Just look for the odd. What you see. if you’re in a restaurant. 3 ----------------------. whether it’s on the radio or there’s a live band or any music that you happen to be hearing. The sights. the people that around you in the location will give you a lot of conversation. Music that’s playing. the smells you smell. what’s that guy up to?” Use what’s going on around you because what it does. huh? You do that one. because it’s very good at one of those present moment exercises that keeps you very. Again. What it is you’re tasting. Use those as fuel for conversation. very much hip to what she was doing and what she was playing. things that are around you in the location like in restaurants where the salt and pepper shakers were shaped really weird. Props. Look around you. if you see somebody acting goofy. You know. use this one. If you’re outside. What you see in the immediate area. sometimes it’s guys that are out in the street playing their violins or those guys that play for money in the street. People. Sometimes it’s just. what kind of foods do you like. what © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. What foods does she like? Get her on that topic. where it’s called the celebrity game. it grounds you in the moment. sounds like gross and disgusting. definitely she wasn’t a what you call a bum in any stretch of the imagination. I was actually at a theatre in Palo Alto in our area of the country here in California and there was this really nice theatre area and there’s a nice restaurant there and we were eating. Pretty cool. Again. Location. this is a good one. Where you are is like a primary factor in creating conversation. or maybe she’s got a tiny little purse that you can make fun of or tease about. Food. Like I used to play this game. “Hey. She was obviously making money for school. sometimes a . she was very. What foods her mom made for her when she was a kid? What foods did her grandparents make? These are all great conversations to have. very interactive. look for the not so normal and it will give you stuff to talk about. Food is an awesome topic for conversation for you and a woman. the smells you smell. a very attractive little Asian girl and she’s playing violin and every so often she’d stop and she’d sing. you nudge her and go.com celebrity they remind you of. look for the different.maybe she’s got one of those big purses that you’ll make fun of. I really can’t emphasize this enough.
Very important. I use them all the time when I was really running. Divination of any kind. not like I’m just sitting there and going. 4 ----------------------. Use the things that are around you.little bit phallic so I’d make fun of that. be caught up out in what is going on between you.. And I ask her to choose a card from this deck and then we read it. Books. technically is a form of divination. Have a magazine with you that you happen to purchase or wanted to read just make sure that it’s not Playboy. books you’re reading are another excellent thing. Magazines or books are a cool second. Number one. how can you not have fun when she’s playing around with the idea of being a goddess? And that gives you a great opportunity to tease her back down.CarlosXuma. be present and focused on what’s going on at that moment. she has to come and interrupt your world to make your presence known. “Ho hum. I talked about this one. Reading tea leaves. Divination really means anything where you’re using fortune telling. A while back. called the goddess deck. what you would call a classic pick-up. This had to come out at some point. be looking all the time around you. These are things that are a little bit more out there but you’ve got to find one that works for you. It can be palm reading. I try and get her to admit whether or not she’s really like that goddess or not based on the qualities.Page 84----------------------www. so again it’s a good prop. It’s a lot of fun and of course. You need to use one or both of these. It’s a deck of cards and on each card is a goddess from some mythology or something from literature or something like that or history.. I’ll make sure that I have a paper with me that I’m reading through. LLC.com Here’re some miscellaneous props. I would make sure that I would work that into conversations or even on the first meet-up or the second meet-up or any date that we had. If you’re already engaged in something and she’s not your first priority. Choose a good book that immediately she’s going to be asking questions about what it is you’re reading and how it is and if she’s read it she’s going to start talking about that. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. because it makes me look busy when she arrives. it can be handwriting analysis. because it gives me things to talk about. Number two. Waiting for the woman to arrive. I still have it. But palm reading and handwriting analysis are the top two. it’s reading a person from things that are not overtly visible. Really fun. comes you and your props that you carry with you all the time. After location. as well as just meeting women. I pretty much always want to meet up with a woman who’ll have a paper with me if I’m going to meet her in like a coffee place or it’s a daytime meet-up or maybe a woman I met off of an online ad. Don’t be caught up in your head. .” that looks a little needy.
” And I did this on women and it’s so amazing. It starts the conversation out in a playful and fun zone. no. Handwriting analysis. you can get Bart Bagget’s Handwriting Analysis Deck. there’s like 5 lines on your hands and if you can memorize those lines. I can’t even begin to tell you. 3. you can use it for any number of things. There’re other things you can buy. “I don’t know. You do it to just a few people. right?” Of course even if you did something. “What?” and you’re going to be like. using a cold read to kick it back into gear is really good. 2. “Huh. Can you think of any better reason for using one of these tools on a woman? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. how. you see something cool that you like to carry with you. you can tell whether she’s sarcastic or not. you can totally make some shit up. Cold reads of any kind. OK? So there you go. when you’re in a store. Number one. I think personally. you can use it for teasing. I’m learning a new skill. And that deck by the way is one of the most effective ways of learning it. I think I know something about you that you don’t typically tell other people. very effective and the reason why you want to use it is because it really works. you can make up anything you want because women don’t really learn palm reading. A simple as. not in printing and I’ll analyze it for you. It’s so easy. where she crosses her T’s. You can use it to read her personality. how accurate it is. This is a much more exclusive skill to develop. “Look. Give me a sample of your handwriting and rewrite this phrase down in cursive. Do your friends. right? And you just offer to read her hand and then you can make stuff up if you want to but honestly there’s no need to. There’s literally.Palm reading is great because it’s just fun. women love it because they never get this done. A good friend of mine still sells this online as well. is my number one choice now because of what it does for you. 5 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. first of all. say. you and your props. you know what? I’ve got something to say. you can still get that online.” And she’s going to be like.com For you to filter her out. LLC. there’s just so much cool stuff to do at palm reading. second of all. Handwriting analysis. 4. The handwriting analysis is very. tell me. Learn how to do this because they will serve you when you have a break in the conversation or there’s a pause in the conversation. where that line crosses the T and how it goes across can tell a lot about her self-esteem. maybe I shouldn’t say anything. where I would just sit back and it’s a little bit silent and would kind of go. Again. number one prop if I had to choose one. I’ve often done this. basic stuff that you can get online. no.” “Alright. There’s just a lot of cool stuff like this that you can read off of her handwriting.” play the quiet routine and she’s like. how much women love it.Page 85----------------------www. So it pays to learn it. starting it off on that attraction and connection vibe. 1. she would still take offense but you’re . “No. you don’t have to carry it with you all the time but you do want to maybe bring it with you on a first meet-up with a woman so you have something to talk about. but you’ve got to promise me that you won’t take offense.
It could’ve been the first thing. “Oh.Page 86----------------------www. I could’ve gone right back to here and still ask the question right off of that. what does it do? It triggers something that you can free associate. 6 ----------------------. What does tie-dye make you think of? Well. Then it makes me think of San Francisco. You’re out and you’re sitting there with a woman and you’re out in front of a coffee shop and you’re drinking your coffee and there’s a low in the conversation.not going to say anything that bad and then you use a few cold reads on her. It didn’t have to be the eighth or whatever this is seventh thing down the line. it just does. makes me think of a hippie. Alright. free association. You can keep a conversation going infinitely long if you just learn how this technique works. it always makes me think of hippie. it’s a CD store. not just because I live here because I think of Haight-Ashbury the height of the hippie counter culture of the 60’s or early 70’s too. What kind of music do you like?” OK? All that came from seeing somebody in tie-dye. it’s called the Barnum Effect where before your effect it’s the fact the we want to interpret anything that said anything about us that’s vague as being very personal to us. “Ever been to Haight-Ashbury?” Or. I give up some cold reading phrases that you can use with those two.” see what . that’s a ton of stuff right there dude. “So. do you think San Francisco has the exclusive rights to the hippiedom?” Or. or the second one. Then you look around and you see somebody in tie-dye. OK after the CDs. So they’re very effective to use. Then I think of Amoebas because that’s a record store that’s in the Haight that’s also kind of a hippie-ish type of place. alright? I’m going to give you an example of how it works so you can understand it because it’s really the only way to teach it. I don’t know why. I think. hey. OK now I’m still associating here. The first thing I associated with. it sells CDs. what do you think? Would you have ever been a hippie?” A question right there. I think I also have it in the Alpha Conversation and Persuasion and I also talk about cold reads in the approach programs. I’m not going to go to cold reads here because that’s not the purpose of this program. “It’s a great place. It’s an advanced technique and I would highly recommend that you’d go to one of those programs for more information.com I also do “cold reads” by the way in a couple of my programs. “Hey. It’s a very effective thing to use. and see how this kind of flows from the same first impression from seeing somebody from the tie-dye. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I could’ve thought. This is how you can get into the mindset of the perpetual conversationalist.CarlosXuma. you see the tiedye. You can look up. LLC. Free association exercise. so we’ve exhausted the environment. the second I saw somebody in tie-dye and looking kind of hippie-ish. you can get those anywhere online. We interpret things general as being specific to us. music.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 7 ----------------------- Page 87----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com I’m doing? I’m going down this free-association cliff, finding something I want to grab on to and want to run with from my conversation. It’s that easy. OK so now we’re on this step, I found something that I can pull out from the free-association from the tie-dye I saw, hippie, San Francisco, HaightAshbury to Amoebas to CDs to, “Hey, what music do you like?” She says, “I like U2. I really like the new album of theirs,” and I think, “OK, let’s free associate off of U2.” “Back in the 90’s I had a ticket to go see them but I gave it up because on the same exact date I had a sales conference in Atlanta that I was going to go to and I just gave up the ticket where my girlfriend and I stood in line and I remember we got these awesome tickets because it was a lottery at the time. Got these great tickets to the concert and I had to give mine up to go to this thing.” OK that right there is a good story to tell because it shows my discipline, right? Looking for storytelling elements? Next comes, “You know what? I went to this sales thing and they had this trophy and I’m thinking, I’m here, I’m stuck here, I can’t be to the U2 concert, my girlfriend’s there, I’m here, I’m going to put everything I’ve got into this weekend. I want that trophy because this trophy was given to one person who gets a perfect score on this test. The test he was giving was, you have to memorize all these sales phrases, closing phrases and things like that.” “So I stayed up literally all night learning this thing. And then, I didn’t win it but I learned something about myself in the process. And that was that I would put in the right amount of effort if I was properly motivated and once I did I learned what I was capable of. That’s some important lesson. Then, we went to a titty bar, that’s right, at some point in our weekend, we we’re in Atlanta and we decided to go to an Atlanta titty bar.” “And there was this creepy guy, sitting in the corner, he’s this really big fat guy, he’s got his hands on both legs and basically he’s keeping this one woman with him the whole night. She couldn’t leave because he just kept paying her to stay, this one woman to stay there. And we’re thinking, God, that’s freaking creepy. I mean, can you imagine that?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 8 ----------------------- Page 88----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com See how these little stories that I just pulled out of that one, U2 free association. Do this on paper, test it out at home. Do it on your own. Go on the internet. Go to CNN.com and just randomly you see a story, take that story, don’t
even read the story, just look at the headline and make up your own story to that headline. You’re going to get a really keen sense of how to free associate, how to talk about things, you don’t even have to know something about something, you can just totally make shit up and it works. This is an awesome technique, this is called free association. And I highly encourage you to use it, it’s the most powerful and the most effective exercise for creating conversation for nothing because that’s exactly what you’re doing. Now if you’re finding that this is very difficult in conversation with a woman, chances are, the problem is not that you’re not using the tool correctly, it’s that you’re getting caught back up in your head again and you can’t afford to do that my friend. You’ve got to stay out of your head and in the present moment. Free association forces you to do a little bit of both, you go back in your head a little bit but you’re also in the present moment. The television exercise, here’s another great tool for you to use. Turn on your TV. Turn it on to a random channel, any channel at all. Keep the finger on the mute button on your remote, you wait for something to come along, you don’t have to wait very long, as a matter of fact I highly encourage you to not wait very long. You turn on to some show and you wait for them to say something as a form of a question or maybe even state something and then you hit mute on the TV and I want you to improvise your own response to what they just said. You can either watch the show and try to make your response fit in with the show in some way or you can totally go off on your own. Totally make your own tangent, totally make something that’s pertinent to some, you know, totally different situation. The point here is again, it’s another form of free association but it’s triggered by something that you don’t control and it’s an endless source of fuel for conversation. Just turn on the TV, see something random. OK? I’ll give you an example of this. I’ve got my monitors up here, I’m going to go to CNN.com, I’m going to just pull up one of the headlines and I’ll tell you what it is. Let’s see, “War Is Nothing New.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 9 ----------------------- Page 89----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com War Is Nothing New. OK? What can I do with that? Well, do I have anybody in the family that served in the war? Yeah, my grandfather did, he served in World War II. As a matter of fact, he told me about a time when he, and I do have a story for that. They were at a camp, and I think it was just outside of Germany or maybe just inside Germany and they were eating and then out of nowhere, a tiger tank comes up and into their camp and they all had to scatter. It was a pretty incredible story when he told me about it. There, I just came up with something I just free associated off of that. War is nothing new. Let’s see, war is nothing new. Why do we have to have
war? Why is it we keep coming back and making war on another people? We know intuitively that war is wrong but we keep doing that, why? OK, there I might be getting a bit political, so I’ve got to be careful. Let’s see, there’s a whole ton of other ones here. First Lady Maybe in Healthcare Reform. Wow, that one’s interesting. What do you think about healthcare? Really? Are you getting good healthcare? Do you have a good healthcare program at your work? Again, I just began free associating off of this stuff. 3D Coming Soon to Home TVs. Do you really think you need everything in 3D? I don’t know, 3D gives me a headache sometimes when I go and see movies in the theatre like that. I mean, are we going too far with the whole home theatre thing anyways? Pretty soon, we will never want to leave our house because we’ll be sucked into our television screens. Again, I’m free associating here. Guy Eats Plane, Lands in Record Book. Well, I’m assuming the eating of the plane, means he probably broke it off into small pieces and just ate it bit by bit by bit. I can’t imagine that one actually is begging me right now to click it but I’m not going to because we have a program to do. You see what you can do with this things, you can have a lot of fun. Plus, the story themselves, you can just look up the story, if you remember the story, like later on if I look up this Guy Eats Plane, Lands On Record Book and I talk about it with a woman and I say, “Did you know that there was a guy who ate a freaking plane?” And then I go into the story. Instant story just add CNN. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 10 ----------------------- Page 90----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com There you go, the television exercise though allows you to use random bits of conversation from the television to stimulate your own ability to improvise on the spot. That’s what that exercise is about. Gives you real time, real ability to do it. And you know what? The first couple of times you do it, you’re going to sound lame, you’re going to hesitate, you’re going to, “Uuhh, I don’t know what to say.” UN-mute, keep going, do it again, do it again, do it again, pretty soon you’re going to break through this little blockade, there’s little mental block that we all have inside our heads that stops us from free flowing and having this verbal diarrhea of conversation. And you’ve got to break down that barrier. It’s essential. I frequently have it when I don’t have caffeine in my life. There you go, those are tools you can use. Those alone should help you with any moment of pause you have within a conversation. Now, next up, we’re going to talk about phone conversation and how to handle that. I’ll be back with that in the next module. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 11 ----------------------- Page 91-----------------------
Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. All I’m going to do. You want to stay away from daytime hours. I’m going to tell you. 2.com MODULE 7: Phone Conversations Alright. material. Nobody . you want to stay away from early in the morning hours. Phone conversations are really kind of a normal subset of any conversation you have with a woman.. the weird times of day that you know that she’s probably at work or it would just be weird to get a call at.www. First off.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. 3. These are the small tweaks. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. These are some tools you can use for phone conversations that are pretty much the more exclusive to that situation.CarlosXuma. let’s rock and roll with phone conversations. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. here we go. most phone conversation is the same as any other conversation with some small tweaks.Page 92----------------------www. Needless to say.CarlosXuma.. 3. Nothing really changes that much with phone conversation. is I’m going to point out the subtleties that make phone conversations different from being in person with her. 1 ----------------------. LLC. 2. call women only in evenings or on weekends.
Drop it. It’ll just make you look like a wussbag. never call on weekend nights unless you call to get her to meet up with you or coming with you to some event or some bar to meet up with you. Trust me.gets calls from guys at 10:30 in the morning on a Thursday. So by calling at evenings or weekends. that means you’re not doing anything.” If you’re in that situation where you’re trying to hold yourself away from calling her. It’s an obvious situation but we so often go nuts over it. It’s a ball that you just don’t need.com Get the hell out of the house but don’t be around during the times when you might be sitting at home thinking of nothing better to do but. but I was told not to call her. you’re also showing her that you’ve got other things going on in your life too. I ask all my friends this actually. Shouldn’t I be calling her? I should be calling her. And you know what? I would say. oh. I just got off the ph one with a good friend of mine. This doesn’t happen that way. Alright? And then. Jeff. yes you can do things by yourself in life. Go take yourself out to dinner. “Cool. and the first thing I said is. “Hey. Go to a movie alone. you say. I’m not saying lie. Go to a bookstore. Don’t say. hang up. So I will just sit here and think that I—I should be calling her. if she says yes. I should be calling her. I’m telling you that rather than lie and say you’re busy. that means you’ve go nothing better to do than think about it. Not out there approaching women.Page 93----------------------www. because this is a distinction here. “La la la.” If you have time to think about that. “Hey. Go someplace. very effective. End the conversation. You don’t have a date? Great. make sure that she’s actually free to talk. You’re not out there meeting new dates. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you must be busy. Which means you’re not out there meeting new women. but I can’t call her. I’ve got to get going in a few minutes but I just want to touch base with you. You should never appear to be available during primetime hours. This is really important. “Oh. “No problem.CarlosXuma. you got a second to talk?” And make sure that he’s clear on that. Most pickup artist will just tell you to lie and say you’re busy or whatever it is. “Yeah. you’re done. Talk to you later. just say. . Go out anyways. you ask her right off the bat. You start to learn how to deal with the fact that. ok.” Very simple. And if she says no or she says no or whatever it is. Make sure that she’s actually free when you call her on the phone. Don’t make a big deal about it. LLC. you got a couple of seconds to talk?” This is what I ask right off the bat. 1 ----------------------. Oh. it’s worth it. I should be calling her. we’ll talk later. why don’t you actually go out and fucking do something during those times. You’re just sitting there going. Just get off the phone.” Just let it go. “When can I call you? What time should I call you?” No.” And that’s it. You drop it.
com Alright. “Doesn’t this guy have nothing better to do than talk to me on the phone?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Is this a function call or is this a connection call? Those are the two kinds of phone calls that you’ll have with a woman. and somewhere at the back of her head. Connection calls are a way to keep the spark going.com Here is another important thing. I’m calling her up to find out something. just to connect with her.CarlosXuma. those two differentials and what the conversation’s about. alright? And I’m saying that because guys will very often get into these long drawn out. so after you’ve figured out whether it’s a function call or a connection call. deep phone conversations that go on for hours.Let me say it again. Function is to confirm or arrange logistics of an in person meeting. LLC. you’re showing that you’ve got nothing better to do. Don’t talk to busy or distracted people.” Now you can start your conversation. You do not need to stay on the phone with somebody’s who’s distracted. A function call or a connection call? A function call is where you are coordinating logistics. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. you know it’s an arrangement type of phone call. Function calls are no longer than 5 minutes. It’s just a disembodied voice at the other end of the phone and it’s not really as effective as you think.Page 94----------------------www. keep to these rules.Page 95----------------------www. If she is distracted in any way. end this call. So just avoid that. you’re not there. see how you were doing. “Cool. she is wondering. Whereas a connection call. I’ve got to get going in a few minutes but I just wanted to touch base with you. When you’re on the phone with a woman for more than an hour. You don’t want to be on the phone much longer than 15 or 20 minutes at any time. Don’t talk to busy or distracted people because it’s not fun for either one of you. 2 ----------------------. then you want to make sure the attraction energy is being pulled into here more than rapport. Women love them too so they won’t hesitate to go along with them but they’re not really making them more attracted to you because you’re not in person with her. LLC. A phone call is the same as a . If it’s a connection call. so don’t do it. I’m calling her up to make sure that she’s going to be there at a certain time. Remember that.CarlosXuma. 3 ----------------------. You also come across as being needy and suffocating and low value when you do that. Very simple. very simple rule too. A little bit is OK but not much. is when you are calling for no reason at all.
cool. That one’s self deprecating. That’s why you do this. right? More voice emphasis is needed on the phone. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. you’ve got to let it be a little bit—it’s got to be a relaxed conversation.” You know. That’s what you have to do. As long as things are escalating. if you’ll just give me a chance. If she says a keyword or a key phrase. Just do this exercise. really zoned in on her. “Hey. it’s going to be tough for you to pick up on it and roll with it as part of the conversation. let’s talk. I tease with her. it can only escalate so far. alright? Very important: If you’re with her and you can keep the conversation going. that’s rolling and you get that attraction. You’re not going to tell if there’re things going on that you need to pick up on. listen how they talk about things. they’re all over the place. You’re not going to be able to tell if she’s distracted or not.” Have fun with it. tease her. You have to be listening closely. There’s only so far you can go on the phone. you’ve got to get her energy . they’re just really. you’ve got to put more voice emphasis. That’s a good way to start a conversation because it raises her energy back up and reminds her why did she talk to you in the first place. “Oh my God. You’ve got to be more emphatic with your voice. was it? Whatever it was.com Start with a teasing energy on the phone call to get her energy up. the qualifications there.” I joke with her. it’s Carlos. I like having guys do this. “I know you were in your Vogue shoot or maybe it was Elle or maybe it was New Woman Lifestyle or Oprah. Look I’m a reasonable substitute. alright? Minimize the distractions for yourself because you need to be listening closely with whatever conversation you’re having with her. I don’t care if you think you’re the dullest guy on the planet. when she does answer. you get the connection. how are you doing?” then she’s like. “Oh. You can call her and say. Here is one I use.Page 96----------------------www. listen to this.conversation that’s in person. just take a second. You’re not going to be as relaxed in the conversation either. how are you doing?” And I’ll go. listen to sports announcers. they’re emphasis is really strong because they have to communicate their personality without the benefit of an image. you do all the right things. Call her from somewhere where you can really pay attention to her. I’m not saying to be hyper-attentive. 4 ----------------------. only shorter. really. but you have to be very present. take a break. don’t call her when you’re in a crowded room. You can’t be distracted yourself because then you’re going to miss cues. so use it. I’m going to be like. No. But on the phone. So minimize the distractions around you. go as long as you need to go dude. This is the first thing that you should do on a phone call before you get into a connective call of any kind and that is lightly tease her. you’re hoping it was Sean Connery way back in the 80’s when he was the sexiest man alive. LLC. “I know.CarlosXuma. She’ll thank you and you will thank yourself. Don’t call her when you’re on the subway. you should also be teasing her more about her.
don’t stay there too long.” Get into conversation that has meaning for her. Stay on the call because if you got right off the phone after she declined your offer. that’s you. You know what? I want you to come with. Just tell her where you’re going to be and that she should join you.not if it’s a function call. you don’t show any intuitiveness. you’ve laid it out for her and you’re more commanding with it and you’re more like. “You know what? This is going to happen and it should happen with you. he wants to do that thing where he pays for my meal and he takes me to a movie and then I have to kiss him on the cheek and not have sex with him. you just want to meet up with her and if she declines that. you know what? I’ve got to get going.” There you go. here’s what you do.” I don’t know. just so with any conversation you want to get into connection and comfort building with her. any arrangement that you make with her on the phone. Be there. This is really important. Number two. “So. this is that fun guy.” Bridge quickly then into connection and comfort. “Oh boy. I’d like to go on a date with you again soon. you just don’t show any of the right qualities that she’s going to be looking for. you just say.back up so that she has fun again and remembers. I’m going to O’Malley’s bar tonight. “How’s your day been? Tell me about something you ordered today. LLC. “Oh. I don’t do this on the phone with a woman and you don’t talk about—specifically you don’t say the word date. empty out the porta-potty. whatever it is that you’ve got to do. you’re going to look like an awkward social tool because you’re immediately projecting that all you want is to get something from her. Never ask for a date on the phone or even hint at one. this is of course if it’s a connection call .CarlosXuma. I just want to see you. OK? But you put in a certain amount of pause there so it doesn’t seem like her denial is the thing that pushes you off the . “Hey. you don’t use the word date because date triggers certain thoughts in her head. I’ve got to get back home and whatever. If she declines for any reason. Yeah.com You don’t use date. right after you do a little bit of teasing. number one. Not in a man anyways.” Not. watch my sheep. you stay on the call as if it didn’t bother you and then maybe 30 seconds to a minute or two later. let’s do that.Page 97----------------------www.” You don’t show any perseverance. 5 ----------------------. Would you like to go on a date with me?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. So I ask her. first of all stay on the call as if it didn’t bother you because it shouldn’t. it won’t bother you. it didn’t bother you. The fun guy. “You know what? You’re so cute. Don’t even hint at a date. right? OK it better not because you’ve got so many other fish on the line. I’m going to give up right now. Say something like. I’m not saying you don’t arrange to meet up with her again but you never use the word date like. you’ll probably miss out on the opportunity that she wants you to take her up on. you’ve got to get going. certain domino effect of. anything that you work out with her. “Oh yeah. “So would you like to go?” You make it in form of a statement so that she has to agree with it.” Alright? So don’t ask for a date. Alright? So again. That’s what I’m saying here.
6 ----------------------. so I’m going to hang up now. I wouldn’t say on a whim. give me a call. it’s Carlos. I guess that’s it.phone because it makes you seem like a total loser basically. happy. I can remember that scene so clearly. I mean. my phone number is 877. Whatever you say. you’ve reached my voicemail but you know what? I am here right now. it’s Carlos. it’s ludicrous man. the big C. I mean. she hears that you’re just leaving the message on a. 50% of these women will give you a shot for the next meeting that wouldn’t have if you acted all pissy about her first turndown. start a conversation with them as her voicemail is playing in your ear. make sure you’ve got a standard voicemail message ready to use. OK? Confident. yeah I really like you. Have a standard voicemail messages that you use.CarlosXuma. hey. but not with a whole bunch of. “Hey. you call me. 7 ----------------------. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Short. I know it’s kind of harsh but it’s true. Watch the movie Swingers and see the scene where he does that. 877-986-2669. I’m not telling her what to do. Hey. if you’re with somebody. ready to roll right off the bat.com together sometime too.Page 99----------------------www.” . yeah.com And if you call her again. it’s me. “Hey you. “Hey. before you start dialing her number or hitting redial on your phone. “Yeah. Start a conversation. It messes with her mind but it’s a lot of fun. yeah I’ll wait so you can get like a pen. OK? You do not want to be tripping over your tongue. sweet and complete. LLC. fun. I had such a good time with you the other night and I just wanted to call and say hello and I hope you’re doing good. I had a really good time with you. promise I’m talking to your voice now.” That’s one of the one’s I use. I’ll catch you later.” OK? So you’re already in another conversation. Talk with you. keep talking with them and then the beep goes off in your ear and you’re still talking to your friend and you go. “Hey.” I’m not telling her to call me. it’s Carlos. Interrupt yourself to be leaving this message.” That’s it. so I’ll check back with you later.CarlosXuma. Here’s another one. Bye.” And here’s another thing. so I was thinking we should get © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I’m just leaving a confident little message saying. LLC. if you want to call me though. right? OK. I hope you had a good day today and well. Here’s the one I recommend. Also. click. it’s Carlos.Page 98----------------------www. that’s right. “You know what? It’s me but I’ll call you later. ready to go. wait a minute man. at the start of any phone call. I’m pretending that I am my own voicemail leaving a message on her voicemail. you do not want to be leaving those lame ass messages.
off the phone. And it’s pre-thought out so you don’t seem like you’re stumbling over your own words. you better go with me on this. LLC. wait. OK this is a situation where you’re actually talking to her. Wait.com I remember. I’ll say something like. when you’re on the phone. I want to know the end of that—your story. technique but you know what? It watched a television show. not the voicemail. I’ll talk to you a little bit later on and we’ll meet up tomorrow. And last but not least. “AAAAAAH!. So there you go. “No!!!!!!!!” you know you can hear this like Kirk screaming it at Khan. where Picard has been turned into the Borg—I’m getting totally geeky here guys. wait. It’s a shameless has worked since time immemorial. Your message should be no longer than 5 seconds long. “Oh you know what? You just reminded me of an awesome story. quick. be continued? And you’re like. Bait into a cliff hanger. You want to give her a cliffhanger or some other kind of leave-them-hanging kind of ending.” That is what you want to do to a woman my friend. right? OK. “Fire.” She’s on the edge of her seat. she feels a positive draw like. phone techniques you need to use and do not abuse. Have you at the end of it. the next time we talk I’ll tell you about this thing that happened back when I was in high school. it’s hysterical. Remind me. “No!!!!!” It was perfect because I was on pins and needles for four months or whatever it was waiting for the part two of that episode. alright? Like when I’m talking with her on the phone. It left me so.AUUUUUUGGHHHHHHH! That totally sucks. If you’re ending the conversation with her.CarlosXuma.” What am I doing there? I’m baiting her a little bit. I’ve got to get going. It was the best ending of a season of television I had seen in years. oh. But anyway. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . We’ll be coming up with the next module on electronic communication. Picard’s turned into the Borg and he comes up on the monitor and then Will Riker looks at the screen and then goes. they have that super weapon charge that’s going to destroy him and then he looks at him and he goes. she wants the rest of my conversation. leave it as something to be continued. “Oh wait. Guys do this shit all the time and they just don’t understand that you don’t leave messages like that. 8 ----------------------. the whole story of you and the whole cheerleader thing and the car. She’s got some reason now. That’s what you’re leaving her with. fast. in. cool. And I knew they totally cheesed me out on it but I didn’t care. And there’s that one season where they ended.” and then suddenly “To be continued” comes up on the screen and I was like.Page 100----------------------www. I was watching a whole bunch of old Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns. I’m laughing about this now because I’m laughing on the inside. suddenly they flash a to “Bastards!” You know you’re totally sucked oductions.
1 ----------------------.com Module 8 . 2.. material. we’ve got Twitter. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. Because I have a feeling that a lot of guys don’t understand how this works. 2.CarlosXuma.that’s the next one you should go to. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. there are different types of electronic communication are out there. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.Page 102----------------------www. LLC. we have of course Facebook. Thanks. 3. So let’s talk about this really quick. LLC. we’ve got e-mail. we’ve got LinkedIn. First of all.CarlosXuma. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. we’ve got texting which I’m actually leaving a special . There really wasn’t a whole bunch of electronic communication going on and now it has become something of a necessity that you know how to work this effectively to keep attraction building with a woman. 3.Email and Electronic Communication Just a few quick tips here on e-mail and electronic communication because it’s a whole other kind of communication that we didn’t have prior to the 90’s.Page 101----------------------www.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew.. 9 ----------------------.
If you’re doing it just to do it. you treat like it’s your playground. just maybe spark a littl e bit of interest. Do not talk about feelings for her in this little playground. that’s how I got laid. you use short and sweet. especially e-mail. that’s the rule. so you need to know how use them too. in some cases it does. You know what I mean? So we’ve got a bunch of different ways of communicating with people that we’ve never had before and they’re very kind of light and superficial ways of connecting with people but they’re there and people are using them. Do not send her jokes or chain letters or other bullshit in e-mail or electronic communication. Don’t compliment her in e-mail. Guys love to use e-mail to communicate with women and it’s a cop-out. You don’t want to be flooding her with useless conversation and useless communication. it’s a cheap. if at all. don’t talk about your feelings. You want her hanging on every second that she doesn’t see something in her inbox from you. It’s your playground. Some people are in chat rooms a lot. Those different types of electronic communication we run into all the time.com Short and sweet. I didn’t get laid in e-mail. that’s the way. I highly recommend that you be careful about how you use e-mail or any electronic communication.CarlosXuma. don’t bother. unless it really makes sense. face to face. Up close. guys think that they can just put a little message in a bottle. After a while. just like you did in kindergarten. Use it rarely. You don’t go into email or Facebook or any of this stuff and talk about feelings that you have for her.” Do you like me? Yes or no? Pass a note in class. do not compliment her and do not send jokes or any of that bullshit communication that you try and pass off as being fun. but do not compliment her in e-mail unless it totally fits into these overall strategy.module that’s the next module. You don’t get a woman interested in you and hot and bothered and pulling your hand into her crotch by using e-mail. you have a little fun in them. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it’s another cop-out.Page 103----------------------www. don’t . don’t do it. we’re not going to cover texting here because I think it’s a whole other thing in itself. Don’t send her pictures of chimpanzees. she’s going to hit the spam button on you and eliminate you from her little electronic life. LLC. Don’t be one of these toady jerk dudes that sends her this crap and becomes another spam annoyance. you do it in person where you have a real impact. You don’t want to be that. right? Now what do you do if she checks maybe. Again. It’s a way of kind of weaseling out of the real work of learning how to talk to women in person. that’s where attraction’s made. When you do use it. So remember those. 1 ----------------------. it’s a little sandbox. “Oh my gosh. that’s the law. alright? I’m just calling it as it is here. that’s where your having fun. It just doesn’t happen dude. throw it over there and go. it won’t work. if at all. Use them rarely. little freaking cop-out. I hope she likes me. That’s the effect you want to have. This is your playground. Any electronic communication.
I hope that makes sense. “Hang in there it’s almost Friday. if you’re at a table with her or in a bar.” There’s like that little anticipation she has and you want her to get back to her desk. That’s exactly what it is and that’s how it comes across to her. You want her to feel like—she’s at work and she’s coming back from lunch.send her pictures of cats hanging from trees that are wet saying. Facebook or Tweet things that will show up on her wall or show up visually to all of her friends that do anything less than show discretion on your part. delay your responses and certain variable time delays in between your responses to her wherever it may be. when it’s not there. in other words. because it’s a really important concept. I hope Carlos left me a message or said something to me in e-mail. then it will be there and then the tension release has so much more effect. don’t send stuff that’s spelled like a third grader. it’s there. OK? And then. Enough said.Page 104----------------------www. you want her to hit that button on her computer and look up and go.” You want her feeling that. LLC. in public appearances like that. Use the spell check. “Wow. alright? So don’t ever make it public. they love them if you’re the person they want to do it with but most guys make public displays of affection a cheap little way to demonstrate possession and you don’t want to do that. OK? They’re not going to think that much less of you but it makes you look a little bit foolish.com show you off to everybody she knows once you’ve demonstrated your commodity worth purchasing. Everything between you and her is a secret until she wants it to be known by everybody. damn. I’m dying for it. that’s creating more tension. OK? And that’s how you make her want to tell everybody as you keep it a secret because she’s going to be itching to tell everyone of her girlfriends. you want her thinking.” Because that is tension release.CarlosXuma. “Oh good. Spell check. you don’t make a play of reaching in and holding hands with her or playing your arm around her and showing this big demonstration of how much of a slut you think she’s going to be. public display of affection? There’s a reason women say they don’t like them upfront. “Oh. Let me explain that. she wants you to show some element of—do you know the term PDA. You don’t want her going. With electronic communication. Spell check everything you send. for God’s sake. 3 . She’s going to be itching them to © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. after a while when the time is right. it’s built into every computer on the planet these days. women tend to be better at spelling than guys are and then they notice when guys are worse than they are.” Do I need to say anything more? I hope not. She wants discretion. It goes the same thing in person. Spell check everything. Don’t ever publicly expose your playful or sexual communications. 2 ----------------------. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. You want her to want there to be a message to be there and then it’s not there. LLC.
Page 105----------------------www. Enough said. The last person to respond is the one that controls the energy flow in the interaction. you’ve got this attention building up on you that’s making you fall for her first.com And then there’s a gap in there. No communication of serious stuff within electronic communication. So if the last response was from you. you did look kind of cute in your little nurse outfit last night. don’t make it a big logistic tool. who’s in control now? And it’s not just about control. you sent her back something saying. “Damn.” See what she’s doing. flipped the tables on you. Don’t be the last one to respond. If you’ve got a building romance or relationship on your hands. We’re not passing notes in school here. I don’t know. the same thing as with phone calls. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.CarlosXuma.CarlosXuma. “Yeah. that’s how it works. That’s not what it’s there for. use it for fun. don’t acknowledge it. 4 ----------------------. I suppose that’s a good idea.Page 106----------------------www.com No arrangement of logistics. it’s nothing serious.” That was your last response. so no arrangement of logistics. Then she asks you a question and then you wait and you let attention build and build and build. I’m not sure if I should take you at that same place again because you looked a little bit goofy. it’s not about manipulating the other person it’s demonstrating to yourself that you have the self discipline and self control to not fall into that trap. LLC. Don’t ever use electronic communication as a crutch to arrange a date or to ask her on a date. you do not use this to be your crutch or your easy way out. this is true in almost every situation I could think of. If she tries to cancel or change plans on you by using it the other way or when she sends you some kind of funky little electronic message whether it’s on your Facebook or your Twitter. Face-to-face as much as possible. It’s a tease tool.----------------------.” or something like that. he’s going to respond right away and wait and wait and wait and then you’re waiting on her. because you don’t want her to cop-out either. I totally pulled that out of my butt. and you’re the last one to respond and now you’re waiting on her response but if she sends something back to you saying. But the needy guy. you’re now anticipating her response and until you get it. it’s your teasing tool and for fun. That’s right. Electronic communication is something more than a way to tickle her ear a little bit when you’re not there in her presence. You wait in an hour. Don’t be the guy that just sent her an e-mail and now you’re waiting for her for her return e-mail and it’s not coming and you go back in your desk and you’re like. The upper hand in love is really down to this simple concept. whatever it is and she uses it as a method to change plans on you. Remember that. When you’re waiting on her that’s . and then you call her or use some other formal communication when you can really get a good feel from her what’s going on. “Yeah.
And as with phone conversations. OK. no. LLC. no. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. make sure you bait with something unfinished that she’s going to want to hear or see or find out from you afterwards. 3. you’ve got to see it first. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. electronic and e-mail communication that’s how you keep talking to women effectively with those. no. it’s a “to-be-continued” conversation. remind me. So move on to the next module. right? Making sure we’re keeping it real here guys. 2.Page 107----------------------www. . Next stop is texting and that’s going to be our final module in this course. “OK? We need to get the others so I can show this to you. material.. you really do have to have something to show her. 5 ----------------------. you’re making yourself think that she’s more attractive and it’s not working the other way around. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. I got to show this great thing I got from the store today.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew.CarlosXuma.” now she’s wondering what it is and you can hold it out there as being like a little bit of carrot. So you can end an e-mail with. no. texting. In other words. “By the way.” It goes without saying. so there you go.building more affection and attraction from her to you. 2. no I’m not going to tell you on the phone.. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. 3.
You have to know when to do that. LLC. let’s talk about some of the key concepts about using texting because it’s a very specialized form of communication with women that you have to know how to use it effectively . when you text women. if she does that and you spell everything out and then when she starts spelling things out than was using little acronyms for. you do not want to be the guy that’s immediately responding to every text she sends. but even if she shortens things in her texts. don’t use some of those abbreviations. you’re going to love it. you should be spelling yours out. First of all. “Why isn’t he responding? Maybe because he’s got something else to do. 1 ----------------------. it’s Carlos. Texting. you’ll draw it higher by waiting for a few minutes or even an hour or even a freaking day to respond. She’s going to wonder.com Module 9: How to Text Women Hey. she’s demonstrating that she’s bending into your reality. 1 ----------------------.” As a rule. of course. Every so often. all these little acronyms. that my friends is an indication of extreme interest in her part. Very important. This is a test: See if she starts to calibrate to you. that’s what you want to do. spell out your text. we’re going to be covering texting here exclusively as the finishing section of the How to Talk to Women Program.Page 109----------------------www.CarlosXuma. welcome to the last module. LMTR.com And if she’s calibrating to you.CarlosXuma. There should be a variation of time in between responses. guys aren’t really aware of that one and I want you to know about that one first. Spell them out. whatever.and I’ve got a special bonus today too in this part of the program. more so than any other form that you use. you must do it effectively with texting. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.© 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. as with electronic communications of any kind. Some are OK. I want you to vary the time with your responses in texting. something better to do.Page 108----------------------www. making sure that you’re spelling correctly. . avoid predictability. do an instantaneous response but then let it go. LLC. anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute. if she is one of those texters that shortens everything into LOL. You want to avoid predictability. it’s when you’re in the middle of highest energy in the interaction that you’ll respond the fastest and then as the energy is high.
if you were the person waiting on her response. do not make date plans. you can do it anytime and she’s going to wonder what you’re up to.” Something like that. text her in the evening and text her in the middle of the freaking night. this calls back on previous conversations you had and you bring it up not all the time but every so often and it creates a consistent level or a consistent connection that you two have.Page 110----------------------www. you’re using it to tease her. You’ve got to hear her voice. The last response effect as described in the last part of the program is that. it’s important. put in a variable time delay in there. “Having shark fin soup. making no serious plans on text. text her in the afternoon. Don’t do that. you’re using the kind of humor that— let’s say you two were joking about the fact that she’s a lawyer.com As always. Using Non-sequitur Humor means. It’s like coming back to the same place where you met every single time. text her maybe in the morning. LLC. I was joking with her about being a lawyer back when we first met and I’m using it again and maybe in a couple of hours she’ll send something saying. talk to her. 2 ----------------------. make her more attracted to you. Delay your responses. is you’re making yourself more attracted to her? Why would you do that to yourself. See this is the cool thing about texting. saw a bunch of sharks. so you text her in the middle of the day and you say. You are the last one to respond and then you let her reply to you and that’s where the interaction ends for you. right? Text her in the morning. Knowing when to do these is another part of the calibration. Don’t be the last one to respond. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. not the rapport level. you’re the one who’s suddenly is crystallizing your affections for her. if you’re doing that. was thinking of you. it’s called Crystallization. you’re shooting up the wrong alley dude. I want to know if you’d like some. .CarlosXuma. What you do. very important. do not make arrangements in text. whether it’s for five minutes or five hours or five days but you’ve got to be able to control the last response effect. Tease and definitely use Non-sequitur Humor. the attraction level of energy. “Hey. just went to the aquarium. Texting is all about bringing up the energy level.” See how that works? I’m calling back on the fact that I had fun with her. this Non-sequitur Humor. that way you have more choices in the long run. you know what I mean? You can totally play on this humor.Vary the time of day that you actually text her. It creates a really good bond. you’re not looking to get the rapport in text.
Text her at the weirdest times. you’re lowering your value in her eyes. “It’s not a fucking conversation.com As a matter of fact. that’s what we talked about the non-sequiturs and the call-back humor. LLC. using a little colon with a little dash. fantastic text examples and even though I can’t condone his being like the high quality alpha man that I should aspire to be. I can’t endorse his book or his materials because I think they’re a little bit too much of the dark side. “First of all as a rule. If you comply with her. But don’t use that too much. don’t text full 160 characters when she’s just sending short messages because that makes you look like a kiss-ass. Some examples.” That’s very good actually. “Not sure you want to know about this but why are you asking?” Ask her a question back that denies her the responses that she’s asking for because it’s a form of a test. Answer questions with questions. you want her to want that message to be there and then it’s not there because that makes her go. Use a smiley when you want to make sure she knows it’s a tease or it’s all on fun. very effective especially in texting. Don’t be nice. the Dark Secrets or something like that but in it he had some awesome things. I hope he texts me back soon. Vary the time in between. it’s a tease. don’t use a hundred exclamation marks in your message. I actually talked to some guys are aware of this guy I met in Vegas.Page 111----------------------www.Remember my rule. He says. don’t use all capitals. don’t always use those shortcuts like ROTL or things like that. So I’m passing along some of these text examples and some of his rules. OK? Say.” You know? It’s building up attention. Alright. ask her back a question that you want answered. It is. very. . with a little parenthesis or something like that. it’s always a tease. “Where are you?” Send her back a question back. he’s a bit of a questionable guy. excellent point.CarlosXuma. especially the hot chicks when your texting them because remember texting is a teasing mechanism. If she asks you a question. I call this a Turnaround Tactic. I did ask him if I could use some of his texting materials here and he went along with it and he says it’s OK which is pretty cool on his part. Keep your message shorter than hers was. You know. this is a special part of the program today. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.“ Relate your text back to something that you know about her. Don’t answer her questions. “Oh God. crystallizing her attraction for you. he put out a book called the Dark Side. 3 ----------------------.
I swear he ripped that off from me.Page 112----------------------www.Here are some of the examples of his text and these are awesome so I want you to use some of these too.CarlosXuma. “Wear something cute and sexy. “You need a nice guy not me.” That one’s good because you’re also directing her and guiding her. Nice try dork. very cocky funny. “I know you want me.” Well that one’s good. “You’re kind of nice but the jury’s out.” I like that one too. I hope you’re rich so you can support me. behave and be cool this time.” “You’re bad. 4 ----------------------. “How much do you miss me?” That’s a great one.” “You’re just using me. LLC.” I like that one.” That one is one of my personal favorites. You’re not my type.” Tease. you are so into me. I hope you can do better than that. “You’re out of practice. I use that one all the time. another qualifying too.” That’s a great one for a guy to use on a woman. are you always such a pain? This isn’t helping your chances to get with me. you might even be smart too.” “Stop thinking about me.” Very good but make sure that you’re not like a super clean cut guy because that’s not going to work at all. “You’re naughty. stop trying to seduce me. “When can you come over and cook me dinner?” Very directive. can you afford me?” “I’m still hotter than you.” Qualification. it’s not funny. “I’m too much of a bad boy for you.” “What’s your real hair color?” “Hey dork. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “I’m not sure if you’re what I want. what’s up?” Here’s a good one.” That one’s great.” There’s a good one. “You’re so demanding. I think I like it. “Wow. .com “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. “I think you’re a player.” “Miss me?” “I don’t know if you can handle me.
” Good qualification on that one. use it and use it by these rules. “Do you have what it takes?” “You’ve got to do better than that. LLC. I really highly encourage you to use those examples that I just gave you there.Page 114----------------------www.” and see what kind of response you’ll get. “Drop what you’re doing. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. it’s great. just randomly send that to her.” “Not many people can handle me. texting in a nutshell. meet me at—whatever the location—in ten minutes.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. not many women can handle me. So those are some awesome text examples and again I had to include those and sent them over to me from.” That’s good too because that qualifies her and make her seems like she’s not—her teasing isn’t quite as good. especially for spontaneity.” “You suck. . 6 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. I think he has an e-book or something like that. “You suck. Let’s say that again.. meet me at blank in ten minutes. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1.Page 113----------------------www. “Drop what you’re doing. I think you’re going to find yourself much more effective in talking to women.” I like that one. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. that’s a good one to you.“I don’t put out so easy.CarlosXuma.. So there you go. oh no. LLC. material. 5 ----------------------.” That one’s really good. Really good stuff. When you just showed spontaneity.com “You can stop by but you have to leave early.” That one’s good.
there’s still more content in the program obviously you’ve got the transcriptions and other information I’ve put into it. the different types of humor. how to make women laugh. how it works. LLC. the critical elements. We talked about the flow of conversation. The energy flow between you and a woman.2. So don’t work too hard to avoid them. the description of the problem and the solution. by overcoming them you prove yourself ten times more than any guy who avoids them. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. pour it in.Page 115----------------------www.CarlosXuma. how to really be more impactful with your conversations and know how it really does work. 3. taking a little bit of this. Storytelling. how it really works. and awkward silences are potentially necessary. throw it in and know that you’re not going to do any real damage to the meal by the occasional application of these spices and other things that you’re throw in. 2. the grounding concept is to know the inner game but the outer game in conversation and how to talk with women. you’ve got to really be flexible with it and it’s much better you use things like you’re a chef in a kitchen. These videos though I think are going to help you quite a bit in explaining the overall. how it should go and we also talked about what to do when you run out of conversation. So as a little bit of a review here. some . so that you can show how to overcome them. it’s Carlos and I wanted to slip in just a little bit of a last word here for you to complete this program. without being too literal.com Segment 10: Conclusion & Summary Hey. we’ve covered—I gave you an overview for the foundations and the key element of talking with women. o r a little bit of garlic. that it’s just not just a sequential approach-attraction-comfort-seduction type scheme. the flow of how it really should go. 1 ----------------------. you actually want them in your conversations. I gave you some of my secrets here. how to start the conversation or your telling part of the conversation and how to use them and exercises. what it is. I also talked to you about. 3. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. why it works. examples of how it works. that’s what good chefs do.
go to that location. Then I want you to extend your knowledge of what you learned here into some of my advanced programs because I can’t possibly cover all the fine details of all the stuff in this program. as well as texting. LLC.com.CarlosXuma. what you have for questions and what you want. just like how to talk to women. and go to feedback. it’s like saying.carlosxuma. doing the free association exercise and the television exercise. I did not just throw them in on some bullshit stuff of your to do to keep you busy. what’s easier? Changing to world or changing yourself? That’s right. we talked about the rules about handling phone conversations with women as well as electronic communication. if you say you hate texting.” But guess what? There are telephones everywhere.Page 117----------------------www.com and yes. mention that you have this program because that’s really important to me and then I also want you to mention any topic that you want a full module on. You can deny these realities or you can learn on how to incorporate them. “I hate the telephone. you can put in information about yourself. to close off the program. a little bonus in here and that. you want to make sure to take the leverage of the exercises that I’ve given you on this program. so let me know so I can create that. if you get the chance and I really do need your feedback because I’m going to be creating more fast. 1 ----------------------. I just didn’t have the time to do it but . © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it goes back to the same saying that I told you about the start of this program. understanding how texting should be handled and used. 2 ----------------------. I’m going to create it and I’m going to make it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.com Tools. LLC. Send me stuff. if I hear enough from you and other guys that want the same thing. I want to know what you want to know. it’s necessity.com If you heard something that what I was talking about in this program that you want a full module of the alpha lifestyle program to based on. impact modules like this.Page 116----------------------www.carlosxuma.CarlosXuma. So there you go. we talked about using your environment. you’re better off just changing yourself and you’re not compromising yourself here.com. I have a bunch of subdomains in this and I used feedback.mornings when not to use humor. these are real exercises that really do work and really improve your abilities in talking to women. you’re just the reed that bends and does not break. go to feedback. it does work. well that’s nice but guess what it’s here to stay.carlosxuma. Phone conversation. I’m going to be covering just about every aspect.
com. anybody. I think that if you get the Ultimate Inner Game and the Alpha Conversation with this program. 3 ----------------------. “You don’t have any problems approaching women and I want to get into a conversation that’s when I have a lot of problems. with your friends. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.com So there you go.com. it’s a lot of stuff. the still concentrated if you will. in your family life.Page 118----------------------www. there’s no www in front of this by the way. the bigger tools. So when you go to feedback. go to that location.com don’t put a www in front of it. the alpha conversation and persuasion program which is also available at conv. texting examples in here are worth the price of admission alone not to mention all you’ve learned on phone conversation. your energy.carlosxuma. just go to conv.” Well it’s not really that you don’t know how to talk to women. you’re going to be freaking lethal. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I put a ton of shit in there. influencing people. this is Carlos Xuma from carlosxuma.carlosxuma. a little money out of your wallet just to accommodate this program. ok so take a look at innergame. no two ways about it. the storytelling. just the text examples I gave you. you view it as if too important and your anxiety and your nerves and your fear get jacked up. dude. 4 ----------------------. I think the tips you’ve learned in here are going to pay you back a thousand fold.CarlosXuma.I gave you the essence. I mean. Ultimate Inner Game is also another program that I encourage guys to go into because it’s a lot of the times that I’ve talked to guys and say. First would be Alpha Conversation. LLC. the humor tips that I gave you.carlosxuma.Page 119----------------------- .com. The two programs I highly recommend you to take a look at if you want to really master this if you want to go to you Masters Degree about talking with women. And I’ll talk to you again soon back again. Get out there. dude you’re set. what to do when you run out of conversation. same with this. it’s that you’ve got something going on that pulls you back inside your head and makes you anxious and makes it hard for you to deal with a conversation at hand. Alpha Conversation and Persuasion is pretty much be the end of all program for conversation and talking with not just women. you’re going to learn conversation skills you can apply in your job. get lethal with women. of what you need to talk with women. the exercising tools to improve your conversation. I put all my heart and soul into these programs and I think it shows and I’m very glad that you took your time. LLC.com.carlosxuma. and why does that happen? Inner game.
2. it’s obvious.CarlosXuma. “OK. material. 3.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. what’s this guy all about? Why is he here? Why is he talking to me?” Yeah. Remember.com BONUS: Banter & Attraction Conversation Alright. it’s always there. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. there are two sides to connection. You start off a conversation that way but very quickly. 2. 3. 1 ----------------------. Now.Page 120----------------------www. These are pretty much the only tools you’re going to need to really start generating some attraction with women. she knows you’re there because you’re attracted to her and you’re interested in her and you’re “hitting on her..” Don’t ever try and defeat that. that’s not going to work for you.. which is the escalation of energy within the conversation and then there’s the form of attraction that is rapport which is creating the connection between you two. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. There’s attraction itself.CarlosXuma.www. There’s always . LLC. I’m going to give you some of my top banter and conversational tactics that I like to use with women. a woman’s got to ask that question that’s burning inside her head. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. if you use too much of your time and you spend too much of it rather trying to get her to laugh or making things funny.
confidence. So remember that. Next thing you know. you’ve got to keep going with it until you get what you want or you’ve got to move on.sexual charge between men and women. I’m hitting on you. Most guys when pushed to the point of making an interaction with a woman. throws the old test at you of. let’s just say that a woman that you’re talking to. that it is. you’ve lost your .com You’ve got to go with it. 1 ----------------------. LLC.” Or you could say something like. I just got caught. Because when it comes right down to it we cannot prepare you for every single situation and in every single test you’re going to run into. You can answer the question anyway you like as long as it’s with a noapology kind of attitude. you are going to screw it up. She got me. in other words. I think you’re pretty cool.” and then just sit there with it. you can’t have a utility belt with a bullet for every situation in it. That’s the one thing that women are watching to see things into a sexual edge woman. it really doesn’t matter which way you take that but either way you present it. hit that sexual edge. right there. And the real trick to this is that if you cop out to your actual desire. most guys will back off. “Uh oh.CarlosXuma. you could say. And if you try to prepare for every single test and every situation you run into. They’re scared of it because it feels like it’s coming to a critical point or critical decision point. and you have to be willing to just sit there in the same space with that weird vibe of. Because why? Because if most guys cannot handle. much worse than if you did none of the stuff that I teach . “Yeah. and the one thing that if they can. I am hitting on you. ” If you fall into that particular mode. “Hey. That’s the unfortunate thing. “Hitting on you? You do like to rush things. that’s really it and this is the one thing that’s toughest to guys.and it’s just not going to work for you. they will actually release the pressure because they’re uncomfortable with it. don’t you? You women these days. you’re going to be doing much. Yea right. you’re going to try and get me to bed and you better not even try honey because this stuff ain’t for free. That’s it. It’s how you handle at that she’s going to be watching. You’re going to fail. if you’re putting or a sexual connotation when you’re with a be willing to ride that out. always got to be in a hurry. then you’ve got to roductions. and it is. “So what are you doing? Are you hitting on me?” What do you say to that? Well. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P . she’s going to realize that you’ve lost your edge.” Now you see there’s two different avenues that I took it down. you cannot prepare for anything. It’s just a simple fact. right? She’s looking at either one. you can never be in the state of. say it with me .come on. That’s what she’s watching for.Page 121----------------------www. you’ve lost your charge. you know what? I dig you and I’m going to see how you feel about it.
your head is bulging at the seams to contain that brain of yours.Page 123----------------------- .Page 122----------------------www.you have all of those on hand. I had all of the lyrics tattooed at my left butt cheek.” Now what do you do right here? You take it to the Extreme. One of the best strategies I’ve ever used and and memorize and just apply that you’re going to priceless.com So now. “Wow. you must be one of those brainy chicks.” And she says. “Wow. I ain’t so smart. you just put the X and the TREME.A. As a matter of fact. I just love this song.” You say to her. I mean. Let’s say you’re talking to her and you’ve got into the conversation on where she’s going to school. I’m smart. In fact. Let’s say she’s going to Pepperdine and you say. I was going to have it tattooed on my you-know but that’s just awfully painful so I just said. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. What’s your IQ? Like 3 billion? 3 billion thousand? 3 billion 150 billion thousand? Because you can tell. There’s a song that comes over the speakers in the bar that you’re in and she says she loves it. LLC. and she’s going to college and she’s going to Pepperdine just outside of L. you must be so smart. “Wow.like where they put the X instead of the E in front of it. I love so much. you know what? Put it on my butt cheek.” Now you see what I’m doing there? I’m just taking whatever she says and I’m going to the extreme. yeah. I just love this song so much. I think of that song. I’ve got some for you. I don’t know. in fact. you know what? I hear that it’s a pretty good school. you’re going to take it to the X-treme.CarlosXuma. let’s get into really good stuff here this is so easy to use really find this to be the techniques and tactics you can use. I grew up in a trailer park. every time I wipe my butt now. 2 ----------------------.” This is great because it gets her laughing almost every single time. And she says to you. 3 ----------------------. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it’s called the EXTREME. “Yeah. The most ridiculous extreme. I can see that your cranium. what are you doing? You’re filling your head up and you’re staying in your head and you’re losing touch with the moment that you’re sitting right inside of with her. a song by U2. Let me give you another example. This is called the extreme . “You know what? I love this song too. it is all over my butt cheek. You must be so smart. maybe it’s a. LLC. Whatever a woman says to you. That’s more important than anything else I can teach you about banter. X-treme.
This is why women are so reluctant to turn a friend into a boyfriend. right? They talk to each other.CarlosXuma. And this is why there are so many guys that get tooled out of conversations and blown out. 4 ----------------------.www. It’s because they don’t know how to hang in there and stay in there in the right way. left and right. I hate that stuff. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Trust me on this. talk. right? A guy friend that she has. Because literally. Whatever it is that she says. establishing. Oh my . Remember.Page 124----------------------www. You’re talking about stuff and you bring out the fact that you like that Fat Tire Ale and she says to you. talk. She’s approached all the time. God forbid whatever happened to the man in her life. something like.com Let me give you a last example of taking it to the extreme. “Oh. she’d always have support and that ensures her survival. “You know what? You’re right. a woman’s priority is to maintain and develop the connections with the people that are important to her in her life. She just has no need of a guy that’s already proven herself to not have sexual charge. I just don’t even know why they make it so awful. it is so awful. So by virtue of that. because it’s just her method of establishing a connection with the other person. they talk on the phone. very savvy to banter and conversation with men and they will challenge you at it and it will become something of a chess game with you. you know what? I just don’t like that beer.” Or something that she disagrees with you on. she can meet and date any number of guys that come into her life. connections to her. you’re going to encounter many more women that are hip to the ways of conversation than you will guys. this meant that she had a strong social network which meant that she was going to be assured of surviving in case something. has more value to her as a friend than he does as a boyfriend. OK? Very important concept there. keeping those connections with her are more important to her than anything else.CarlosXuma. LLC. “Oh God.com You take it to the extreme and she’s going to laugh and she’ll also start to get the feeling that she cannot out game you in conversation because there’ s a lot of chicks out there that are very. Back in the evolutionary scheme of things. they talk to their mom. they talk to their friends.” You look at her and go. All they do is talk. right? And if anything happened. but she would always have a network of people that could help her out. talk. they talk. Women are so much better at this because it’s what they naturally do. guys come through her life. they talk in the bathroom.
swimming and bicycling all week long. I read it in Cosmo. I’ve been riding my bike lately everywhere I go and I just found out that riding your bike.” You make anything you want true because you read it in Cosmo. I read it in Cosmo. you keep coming back to that again and again. I hope you can see how that works for you. I call it the “Tag Line” technique. I guess .” Anything you say.” You see what I’m doing? Again.” And that can be. Right? It becomes the in joke of your conversation. which is.’ Come on!” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. you’re guaranteed to have a little fun with it. it’s Cosmo. You could take that stuff and literally embalm the dead with it.CarlosXuma. but just kind of dumb-funny and then you add on a little tag line to it. I just can’t believe how horrible this stuff is. 5 ----------------------. Don’t overdo it. I read it in Cosmo. As a matter of fact. taking it to the extreme. Here’s another example of a good banter technique. “You know what? I just heard that a meteor is going to crash into the moon at 4:37pm tomorrow morning. whatever you do. “I read it in Cosmo. so she’s been running. ridiculous or not could be validated just by throwing that tag line. it’s got to be true. it’s what we called “return humor” or what I call a nonsequitur humor. you’re talking about exercise.” OK? See? You just throw that joke right back in. you say. “You know. Hey. especially for women. “You know what? I totally agree with you. but bring it back when the timing feels right. This is going to take a bit of cultivation in terms of timing. and you tell her. It is awful. I’m going to give you an example here of how this works. Later she’s talking about how she’s so glad she finally bought her iPhone and you look at her and say. right? I’m changing my mind to make her sound a little bit goofy and dumb for it. The tag-line is what really makes it kill though. maybe she’s training for a triathlon. Take something that she says and make it ridiculous. you could take this stuff and fill up a moat around a castle and nobody would cross the moat because they would not want to get anywhere near Fat Tire Ale. It’s true.God. Again. The first part is. “Look. I mean. I read it in Cosmo. but the first couple of times you do it. Look. It’s not like I’m trying to kiss her ass. Here’s another technique because this one’s very important and meant for punching down and breaking down the walls of the people put around themselves socially. I’m taking it to the extreme and I’m doing it in a way that lets me actually contradict myself and not seem like an idiot. LLC. left and right. I read it in Cosmo.Page 125----------------------www. Women are going to try and resist your conversation especially in. not necessarily extreme. you cannot argue with the big ‘C. OK women? It increases your sex drive like ten times.com That’s the tag line. It’s terrible.
fuck with them to find out.com One of the ones I love to use whenever I’m out talking to women is. “Bunch or fold?” Everything else was interpreted inside her mind. So she can’t hold you guilty for it. Once you start to get the vibe of the conversation like. Because it’s a trial by fire to see if you’ve got what it takes to actually breakthrough and make good conversation. how the hell is she going to know who’s worth talking to. they’re going to make it difficult. not because they’re cruel but because they’ve got so many guys walking up to them and talking to them. you just brought up the topic. more high approach. So what you do is. She starts to. I’m going to give you an example of this. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. OK? What you’re doing is basically “doing shots” with a woman of conversation.bars and clubs. 6 ----------------------. about it as being like. You just said. Usually they answer it because they find it so funny in such a gross way but the funny thing was. you’re going to put up a very edgy comment to a woman about something that’s like sexual or just dirty humor. “Do you bunch or fold?” And it takes a few seconds before they finally figure out what I’m talking about is toilet paper. “Oh. The amount of time that it takes her to figure this out is also a test of my own but eventually she looks at you and goes. It’s her test.CarlosXuma. And I’m serious. you know beer which is kind of low proof 3% or 6% alcohol and then which is a little stronger and then you’ve got liquors and of the ladder you’ve got really strong liquor 100 proof and Well this is the 100 proof and up stuff. you didn’t say anything gross. this breakthrough technique is meant to immediately shut down this mechanism as soon as possible. LLC. gross! What do you mean?” That’s your answer. “What?” I go. doing shots.you’d call it. you can sense when a woman is actually ready for stronger content. it’s exactly what it is because it’s such a strong and potent . Women are going to play around with you . pardon the expression. when you’re early in the conversation. higher “proof” conversation. I like to think like you’ve got you’ve got wine then at the top up. “Do you bunch or fold?” And then she looks at me and goes. That’s right. something like that but not in a crude way. or high target rich environments like yeah. I also like to bring up things that are just totally out of the blue. they’re going to mess with you. Women are going to resist you because it’s part of their testing process.Page 126----------------------www. it’s part of the trial. you guessed it . Now.
right? So another one might be something like. “I was talking to my ex-girlfriend the other day and she said she had sex on Alcatraz. it really jacks up the energy suddenly. and you would be amazed to know just how many vibrator related incidents they get in the emergency room everyday. mushy. wait a minute here. here’s why. and you’ll be like. and she’s just sitting there and going ooh!-hoo!-wooh! Can you imagine that? Can you imagine how embarrassing would that be?” Now the last technique I’m going to go on with you here is called Pushing Perception. it’s just like you’re doing a shot. “Isn’t that funny how cleavage kind of looks like the crack of a butt? Why is that? Why are we attracted to cracks of butts and cleavage?” Here’s another one. I think baby butts are the funniest looking butts in the world. “You know. damn that was strong. “No. One of the stories that he said. I’m Puerto Rican.addition to the conversation. so let’s say you met a woman.” and then you kind of go.com Here’s another one.Page 127----------------------www.” Right? But at the same time it’s invigorating. This is another great one for conversation that you need to use. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.CarlosXuma. not that there’s anything wrong with being a Puerto Rican but you’ve got . “Wait a minute. Like I’ll talk about a friend of mine who has an uncle who worked in an emergency room and he told me some of the things that went on and some of it was pretty funny. I actually use. You might be one of those guys. “Yeah. I’ll say to a group of women. his uncle worked in an emergency room. “So my friend was saying the other day that he thinks that kissing during sex is either totally pointless or totally necessary. I still back it up. I think you need to be a Mexican. Like guessing what a nationality of a woman is or her occupation. LLC. I have this friend of mine. 7 ----------------------. so she’s sitting in the waiting room with the humming noise. “You know. lovemaking stuff. I happen to be one of them because I use some pretty risqué and strong humor with women and I get away with it because of the way I put it out there. there was one gal that was using one that was a little too small for her hu-hoo and lost it inside but the thing was still on. “Whoa. This is when. I still get behind it.” Or here’s another one. you’re just totally into it. I make an observation and even if it’s way of or wrong. OK. Can you believe that?” So something like that would be a little more for shock value and you can kind of gauge off of her response. you just want to throw her against the wall or it’s that soft. “Don’t tell me but I bet you’re Mexican aren’t you?” And she looks back at you and says. you’re talking to her and you kind of go. What do you think?” Now that one’s not as edgy as the others.” And then a tag along to that would be. You can really get really edgy and some guys can pull this off. Like.
what do they do when they make a mistake in cold reading a woman? They backtrack and they sound like total freaking idiots. Another example. “No. Oh you’re Puerto Rican? Oh yeah.” You know they sound like total idiots when they try and cover up their tracks like that. OK.” Again. so let’s see. I could just totally see you on my screen play.CarlosXuma. it’s more important that I handle it that way © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Come on let’s talk about this. 9 ----------------------.com . you’re not Mexican. “No. I’m going to be your career counsellor for a while because obvious you’re not just handling this right. I’m imagining her inside a movie frame. you’ve got to take the nervous little jump off the edge of the pool into the cold water of “I might be offensive. I don’t care how long it takes you. you go. “Oh. have fun with it and yes. I bet you’re a nurse. I’m an accountant. most guys let’s face it. “No. like almost sitcom Latina. I love Puerto Rico.” And then I’ll make a little frame with my fingers. you’re much more impressive when the more you can do something ridiculous even if it’s backing up something that’s clearly wrong. you would be so good on the silver screen. I’m having fun with it. no. Alright.CarlosXuma. no. You’re definitely not an accountant. LLC. we could create a TV show for. you look like you’re a nurse. you need to just go in Monday morning. This is showing your willingness to go out there all on your own.Page 129----------------------www. You know what I mean? It’s kind of © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you’re a nurse. That’s it. how many years will it get you through nursing school?” See what I did? I got right behind what I said even though it’s clearly wrong. it’s called Killer Puerto Ricans Who Just Don’t Want To Be Mexicans. I bet you would kill on your own TV show. Let me tell you. 8 ----------------------.” And you look at her and kind of go.com like. I’ve actually eaten at a Puerto Rican restaurant once. be confident and even back up something that isn’t right. LLC.that really strong Latina way about you. I have that warm nurturing way about you. hand in your little resignation letter and you need to start becoming a nurse.” Alright? It’s going to happen from time to time but you know what? It’s easy to get out of. wait a minute. And this is actually at the very edge of that we’re trying to play with the fringe energy of trying to be a little bit on the unacceptable. No. “Oh. You ever thought about that? Wait a minute.” And she’ll say.Page 128----------------------www. you’re guessing what she does for a living.
I’m crushed. let me shake your hand. “Wow that is so cool. keep watching their reactions to see how they’re responding to it and they keep getting more and more grim. And after that. You just can’t go any further after a certain point. you two ladies look kind of down.than I do something like. “Beat it. “Her best friend. Who died?” And one of the girls goes. “Oh. “You’re such an asshole.” Again. oh so you must be good at math. But this return energy that you get is so effective in turning around a bitchy woman especially early on. you know what? You can give your analysis all you like. even when you make mistakes. I’ll give you an example of this. whatever it may be. I want to shake your hand. you can go no further in terms of turning a person off. 10 ----------------------. I am the biggest asshole you’ll ever see. get out of jail free card. put on a mustache and come out to talk to women and I’ve got to go back and I’m afraid I’m just going to rub Preparation H all over me because I am the biggest asshole. Rebound energy means that after a certain point of either turning off a woman or pushing her to the limits and this has to be done early on. I should have you do my taxes. LLC.” And the guy looks at her and says. Alright? You know better now that the best way to handle a conversation is always on your own terms. that’s a pretty serious conversational mess up and the woman followed up with something like. trying to be ridiculous and I’ll keep working it. I usually keep pushing it because let’s face it.Page 130----------------------www. it’s harder to bounce back from. you take the extreme on this. “Hey.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.com And you’ll look at her and go. the best way to handle it is usually just to go to the extreme. you’re an accountant. this actually happened to somebody and he said. I can swallow up this bar. what’s yours?” And she’ll say. If you screwed up later on. And it’s kind of a closing gambit. you are an expert. that is like the ultimate rejection. you freaking moron. I’ll give you an example. I am. I’ll push . it can’t be done later on when you’ve already been working to get a good connection. Whatever mistake you may make in a conversation whether it’s offending a woman or whether it’s turning her off. Let’s just say you just walked up to a really attractive woman and you say. I am literally an asshole. Take a look at me. I’m pushing myself down asshole road to let her know that. I don’t know. my name’s Carlos.CarlosXuma. It’s what I needed tonight. I’m not letting it go.” OK. What I want to do in this particular episode is I want to give you my all purpose. so let’s not go there. oh. yesterday. Yes that’s right. inside I am totally wet tissue. it all becomes rebound energy.” OK. I am so glad you totally rejected me there. I just turned myself inside out for tonight. at a certain point. you make them for yourself. Let me tell you honey.” See what I’m doing? I’m just taking it to extremes. you’re talking about something. “You know what? You’re right. I’m actually going to go now and meet every woman in this bar because you have given me the worst rejection of my life. “Wow man. I mean. I’m huge. Let’s say.
those are the most powerful. believe it or not. to get her to acknowledge the conversation and come out of her shell and drop those shields. you can definitely turn it around. You really can’t afford to spend too much of your time trying to build up attraction at the start because if you’re waiting too long or working too hard © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.Page 131----------------------www. One is the activation energy. You don’t need her approval.com at it. cocky and funny and teasing and all that stuff you’ve the self-amused and so critical because it’s the whole heart of probably read about.it even further and that will actually turn the conversation around. So you get her to laugh a little bit. Rapport is attraction. Some powerful stuff here. If you show her that you need her approval. doing it with anger and a subtle undercurrent of sarcasm and really mean. get her to know that you’ve got this good confident Alpha Man energy and then you merely dive into those areas that are going to establish the most trust and real connection with her and I mean. You’re on your own terms. you’ve lost her. I have often talked about attitude that an alpha man has. is going to seem hollow and false. And a little sub-note here. It really works. Then there’s the attraction connection energy which is more like what we call. Now as long as you’re not abrasive and attacking her. But these are great attraction building mechanisms by virtue of using the banter and handling yourself in conversations. effective techniques to use in conversation and of course there’s a billion of them. rapport. is this willingness to not backtrack and not go back and salvage things and save face but be steadfast in going down the same road you were going down at the start of the conversation which is the way you came in on it. And it’s so essential self-amusement really underlies your entire attitude. So I want you to stay tuned for that. the stuff we’re going to talk about in this program and further episodes coming up. it’s the willingness to say something brash and over the top just to get her to react in some way. the second that you show a woman that you need her approval. real connection. yeah. That’s the attraction energy. you’ve probably heard this a billion times before and you’ll hear it a billion times again. So keep that under your hat. these are some of the things that I use all the time and very effective. LLC. 11 ----------------------. Being self-amused means that you’re just happy to be there. it’s the kick in the ass. You’re really riding your own waves of . it’s the willingness to go too far. any rapport that you’ve strike right after it. it doesn’t even matter even if you use mine.CarlosXuma. alright? And this is going to be one of those things that’s going to cause a lot of the guys’ problems but rapport is attraction if it is handled in the right way. it doesn’t really matter which ones you use. You’re not using anybody else’s energy. It does work. it doesn’t matter if you use any of them but the point again is to keep in mind those two essential energies to the conversation. But what it is. vicious spirited humor. Trust me. it’s the spark.
” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. LLC. I mean. That’s true self-amusement and I’m not just saying that laugh and pretend that there’s something funny. oh the women today. This is important.” Another example of this is just laughing for no apparent reason. he’s just having a blast on top of the water and it’s all his fun. I thought it was pretty damn funny. because they know that you’re not in the conversation trying to leach energy off of them. that little noise thing where you’re going. Anyway. and then don’t let her in on the joke. you don’t tell her what you were laughing at. Make it your own private little moment within the greater conversation you’re having with her. You don’t tell her what it is and even if she asks you. let’s say it was a story of yours. he’s always impervious to the comments. He doesn’t need anybody else there with him. think of something funny that genuinely amuses you. And it’s the same with conversation.CarlosXuma. I’ll give you a very small example of a self-amused attitude so you can kind of see it in its process. She can call him any name in the book and he’s got this little bubble up.Page 132----------------------www. “Uh. to the insults of a woman because nothing really gets through to him. This is the secret of every guy that’s great in conversation is. I’m not talking like idiot laughter like (laugh). you know what? I guess you had to be there. like putting yourself too much out there to be rejected. it’s that willingness to kind of cut off her energy and show her that. that’s got to be effective. OK? It’s like a surfer that’s literally setting up a little wave machine in his bathtub and he’s in there with a little wakeboard. laugh at it. you look at her and go. you must really . I’ve got to get back. “You know what? I don’t need your approval from my own having fun.” and the other girl’s kind of smirking a little bit. Maybe you were talking about that story I gave you about the woman in the waiting room where she lost the vibrator inside her. and your own ability to stay self-amused. to the jabs. and you make that imitation of her. I’m going to get myself another drink.com You know. he’s always got this bubble of safety around him. This is where you get enough safety or feeling of safety in your life to be able to go into conversations and not feel like you’re leveraging yourself.happiness and having fun. Let’s say you’re talking about something that she thought it was pretty funny. they just want to make guys fall in love with them.oh. I mean. to the tests. women pick up on this. 12 ----------------------. When you can express that to your own self-amusement. “This is so cute. I’m talking about just self-amused laughter were you sit there and go (laugh) and shake your head and then take a sip of your drink and then you just start talking about something else. that was really kind of funny but for some reason just felt kind of flat in the group. And you don’t explain it to her. “Well. You’re establishing your own little fortress of solitude within a social situation.
I can’t help but throw this in. This is how we get the effect of role reversal with women. Sometimes you can make it up and get away with it but I highly recommend you don’t. Again. “What is she doing? Is she sticking feathers in her butt?” No. It always depend on you’re in. that I’m invested. I’ve got tons of them and you’re going to be getting the benefit of all of them in these episodes from these program. One of the most important things you can do in conversation. She tells you she’s from Ohio and you look at her and kind of go. It can happen in more subtle ways too like. I’m lost. it doesn’t bother me because I haven’t given so much of myself to this interaction. don’t push the sexual innuendo in the conversation. What you say to her is something like. And then your temptation is going to be to start asking her about what are all those kinky things. So how are you going to handle it with your friend? Are you going to sit around and never talk with her or something?” You see what I did there? I went in the opposite direction that most guys would’ve gone with the conversation which is to keep pushing the sexual innuendo on it and keep it going that way. “Oh ok. yes. “Oh.CarlosXuma. You watch how she handles it and this is the most important rule for guys. Ohio huh? Anyway.” Do you see what I’m doing there? I’m totally impervious. “I wasn’t even sure if I was going to come .get a lot of dates with that kind of attitude. so she’s a little bit of a dirty bird that’s cool but come on. that I have it turnaround. you have to always be the first one to turn the conversation back around into a non-sexual direction.Page 133----------------------www. If headspace. So And I have one more tip. If you bring up something sexual or she brings up something sexual. let’s get this back on a clean track here or you’re going to think I’m a slut and I am definitely not that honey. you’re in the wrong there you go. so where in Ohio are you from?” Did you see what I did there? I had a little moment with myself where I was remembering something that happened to me in Ohio and yes. And then you blame her for making it dirty. but you’ve really got to be you’re doing it just to get an effect. If I ever do that. you don’t go there. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. is to watch out for how you handle the sexual innuendos in the conversation. another example of self-amusement. you don’t just make this stuff up. the situation moment with congruent with it. it really does have to happen to you. You’ve got to turn it back around and get it going back on a straight tangent. you can pretend where you have that little yourself and get away with it. you go on. LLC.com I recommend you just have fun with it. So let’s say that the conversation was going to the direction of how her best friend is really kind of slutty and now she’s suddenly into doing all these kinky things. maybe you’re talking about something and there was this Beavis and Butthead moment where she says something dirty like. 13 ----------------------.
And it happens in much more subtle ways like say for example you make a comment like. you weren’t sure huh?” You look at her and kind of make a goofy smile. Let’s get this back in a clean path here Miss Dirty Bird. like thousands of years ago. One of the things that was considered a weakness in men in years gone by.CarlosXuma. it’s virility to know when to and when not to and how to manage that energy.Page 134----------------------www. a man that cannot control his sexual urge or at least contain it and then redirect it. “Oh. they used to judge men by their sexual appetites.com you? Well pity that. OK? So they’re looking for that judgment impulse in you that you might think that she’s slutty. You don’t want to try and contain those women.Page 135----------------------www.CarlosXuma. “Well OK. you know what I mean. I mean.” You know something like that. Some women are going to go kind of perverted. And she looks at you and wink at you. That’s how you keep the sexual innuendo from going too far in the wrong direction. It’s not virility to pop your dick in everything that moves. 15 ----------------------. But most women want to go there just a little bit just to test the waters and make sure that you’re not judging her.com . “Oh. Remember that you want to communicate that you’re a sexual man.” And you’re really talking about the party that you’re at. LLC. Some will just go way out there and those are the women that you should chase down the energy as far as you want to go with it. And the same thing is true today. you want to go. And this particular strategy of maintaining your control over sexual innuendo in your conversation really demonstrates that with women. “No. because that’s an important distinction for any guy. 14 ----------------------. So © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. you didn’t did © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I would’ve loved to heard you moan. he was viewed as being effeminate or weak because he didn’t know how to govern his own impulses. do something physical right at that moment. Think about that for a minute. Now the temptation is what? Yeah.tonight. that’s ridiculous. If a man had an overtly large sexual appetite. she says something like that and you’re at a party with her. you don’t want to communicate that you’re a horn-dog out to just slip it into any woman. She’s going to become self conscious and pull back.” OK. Does that make sense? I hope so. LLC. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to come tonight. is viewed as being weak.” And that’s when I kind of push her on the shoulder or bump hips with her.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.don’t make her pull back. LLC.. There you go. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. 3. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. material. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.Page 137----------------------www. 16 ----------------------. you pull back for her.Page 136----------------------www.. The information contained in or made available through this Product cannot replace or substitute for the services o f trained professionals in any eld. 1 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. including.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew.com © DD Publications. Morpheus Productions. LLC. That’s the ultimate strategy in this conversation. LLC.CarlosXuma.. There’s a ton of stuff right there that you can use in your conversation with women for banter and really getting the energy going. but not limited .. 2. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. 2. 3.
psychological. . In particular. particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. or legal matters. exemplary or other damages that may result. illness or death. you should regularly consult a doctor in all matters relating to physical or mental health. Neither Carlos Xuma nor our associates. nancial. injury. medical. special. LLC. action. or application of medication or preparation by any person following the information offered or provided herein. will be liable for any direct. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Producti ons. or any of their af liates. including but not limited to economic loss. consequential. DD Publications and our licensors or suppliers make no representations or warranties concerning any treatment. indirect.to.
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