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com How To Talk To Women The Reference Guide © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Product ions, LLC. ----------------------- Page 2----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com MODULE 1: Foundation & Secret Keys Hey, It’s Carlos Xuma, welcome to the How to Talk to Women Program. We’re also going to go into the flow of conversation and then each module after that, so let’s get started right away. What we’re going to talk about in this program is the How to Talk to Women Concept because it’s such a big question for guys. I see it all the time, every time I open up an e-mail it says, “Hey, how do I talk to women in this situation and on that situation?” So, I’m going to give you the key understanding both from the internal point of view as well as a technique point of view, exactly how to talk to women in just about every step of the way. So there’s two parts that I want to talk about, I want to talk about the overview of the concept. The first is the foundation, let’s expand on this just a little bit. The foundation, meaning, your alpha lifestyle is going to be the major underpinning, how you feel when you go in and you do when you talk to women, and by alpha lifestyle, I mean these are the factors that contribute to your feeling of masculinity and feeling of having your own strong, wellgrounded lifestyle. When you have—let me ask you this, “If you were, let’s just say Brad Pitt, it doesn’t matter that he’s hooked up to Angelina Jolie or not, you think that Brad Pitt, by virtue of his lifestyle, the things he does in his life, his famil y, his health, his wealth, his time, his career, his job as an actor, the image he portrays, the life passions, all that stuff, do you think that that helps him feel confident going into any conversation with a woman?” He didn’t just instantly become Brad Pitt, the millionaire, successful movie star, he had to have the feelings before he realized the financial success and the social success he does right now, so the feelings of confidence you have before you go into an approach are going to be fully responsible for how much success you get on the other end. So these are the components that make up an alpha lifestyle and this is what comprises how strong you feel, with just one moment before you walk up and start talking to a woman or even when you’re in a conversation with a woman, these factors play into what you talk about, how you talk about © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 1
----------------------- Page 3----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com things with her, so this is kind of like the undercurrent of your confidence and your feelings of self-esteem when you talk to women. Family, obviously your family, the people that you’re related to, how well you’re relating to them. Do you have family issues that are eating away at you from the inside out? These are going to pull you down as well as pull you back up. Your health, are you a healthy person, are you fit, are you in shape? If you’re not, again it’s going to work one way or the other, on one of the scales are working for you on the other, it’s going to be pulling you down and making you feel less confident. You’ve got to make sure that all these are pulling in the same direction. Wealth, how do you feel about your money? Your time, your career and your job, your image, your life passion, your friends, your hobbies and activities, your home and your transportation—yeah, your car and where you live make a difference. All these factors including your visions and strategies you have for your life as well as the life that you potentially want with another woman, all these things are rolled up into what I call the Alpha Lifestyle. Now, once you have all those elements and you realize that you still have to address everyone of those. Let’s get on to the next part. Let’s talk about the foundation of talking with women and then where you feel the most pain is very often what affects your conversations with women the most. So any one of these lifestyle elements here, whether it’s your family, whether it’s your health, your money, your time, and whatever it is in here that is most painful to you in any given time is going to be affecting your conversation with women, remember that, because it’s very important and you’ve got to know it and recognize that ironically, the best topics for rapport are the ones that are the areas of pain in your lifestyle, those are the ones that create the feeling of connection with her because she’s going to see vulnerability. She’s going to sense a certain level of humanity and connection from you by virtue of the fact that you recognize that one of these—the family, the health the wealth or something bothering you and knowing how to talk about it, and we’re going to talk about that in this program. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 2 ----------------------- Page 4----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com And going down here to the strength of your personality, the strength of your personality is what supports your game. How strong is your personality? If your personality were to be turned physical form, in the form of a body, would your strength look like a skinny 98lb weakling or would it look like Arnold Schwarzenegger back when he was the buffest, biggest guy in the planet? That’s how it affects your game and your conversations with women as well. The strength of your personality is very important and when I’m telling you here is, “Be certain about most everything.” Alright? The certainty is how
women see and kind of intuitively grasp your sense of confidence when you’re in a conversation, now I don’t mean certainty to a point of being dumb and obstinate, I’m talking about certainty in terms of knowing how sure you are about things in your life and how sure you are in going to a certain direction? I don’t have to be sure that I know the exact fuel consumption of the SR71 Blackhawk, that’s dumb, that’s a factual thing that no one will care about and probably, no most guys and probably airplane geeks will believe me but being certain about the important things in life, being certain about where you stand, ethical-moral stands—things like that. Very important to how you build up this foundation when you’re talking with women, so be very clear about this, being certain about things in your life is a very important part of a conversation that we hold with women. So one key element, what do I mean by that? There’s really only one key element into any conversation with a woman, when you’re talking with women, there’s one thing to focus on, I know that you probably have a dozen models that tell you about attraction that has comfort that, rapport on this and seduction that—don’t worry about it. The one thing you work on with a woman is connection and you do it by the virtue of a push and pull dynamic and that’s a lot of what we’re talking about in here. We’re going to talk about how conversations flow, the things to do when you run out of conversation are very important for guys. Story telling. How to make women laugh, those are energy tools. Handling phone conversations, as well as electronic communication, texting with women, and tools that you can use—these are all things that we’re going © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 3 ----------------------- Page 5----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com to be covering in this program, but they’re all built into this connection of push-pull. What’s in there? Well, with that we have these three elements that we talk about frequently, I think most guys are used to hearing about this, there’s energy excitement, there’s qualification and there’s rapport and comfort— these are the three biggies, these are the three subcomponents of how you build that connection in using the push-pull energy. Energy and excitement. Here’s energy and excitement. Energy and excitement, as it relates to you, in other words when you are talking with a woman, the energy and excitement in that conversation should be related back to you, it shouldn’t just be her having fun. There are ways that are kind of leaching on of a woman having fun in other ways, in other words you’re both on a rollercoaster ride. Is the fun really related to you? No. You’re on a rollercoaster which is going up and down and zooming around on the corkscrew, right? But, by virtue of the fact that you might be holding her hand while she’s experiencing this extreme visceral sense of fun, it becomes a way for you to kind of draw in the same energy, it’s a very important fact and most guys don’t know how to use that to their benefit. Unfortunately, they often do it to
they tend to go into situations where there’s negative emotions and the woman associates those with him. The second you walk up to somebody and start telling them a story. laughing is your measuring stick. A long time back. it’s something more.” you know that’s a pleasant shock. OK. You’re looking for physical contact from her initiated by her. in other words. And of course there’s teasing. We can’t resist a story. LLC. physical contact is the measuring stick.” You can sense that in the change in © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I can’t believe you said that. how you touch a woman in any conversation is also very important. came up to me and you wouldn’t believe what he said to me. teasing back and forth and she has that look of. “This guy. Teasing is slightly different from banter. She should be doing. How much is she laughing? How much is she giggling? How much is she genuinely bubbling enjoying herself? There’s banter. If you’re teasing her right and you’re teasing her correctly and you’re keeping the social pressure out. It’s what we call Keno. So what are the excitement elements of attraction here that we’re talking about? First of all there’s fun. A long time back. This is where it’s very important. “Stop.” I start conversations like that and she’s going to be listening because she’s got to know that story. Story telling. right? But your use of touch. I’m having an effect. Touch. I studied fiction and I still have all of my books in my bookshelf over here on how to create effective stories and plotlines. not the other way around. it’s how you determine how well you’re doing when you’re teasing. It’s got that special chemistry.CarlosXuma. not “Oh” which is an unpleasant shock. I’m going to talk about that in this particular module is going to determine quite a bit on how she learns about you. she’s got to know what happened. She’s starting to feel the drama that the situation in the head. you know the slap you on the arm and going. Pleasant shock is you’re back and forth. She should be reaching out and touching you in some way. You communicate a lot by effectively using story telling.Page 6----------------------www. particularly in this situation. “Oh my God.” That sort of thing tells you. 4 ----------------------. I used to write fiction.their detriment as well. to get a woman to start touching you. it’s working.com energy is no longer friendship energy. women more so than anybody . Touch is very important. Sexual innuendo is another form of energy and excitement in conversations you need to use. And here. Banter in a sense that pleasant shock is your measuring stick. It was interesting because I learned so much about why and how human beings are so drawn to stories. You’ve got to look at her and see how much is she going. “Uh. you’re back and forth and you’re just having fun.
And we’re going to talk about those in this program as well. it goes back to what I was saying. if you don’t feel like you’re a funny guy. That’s a big topic. too heavy within a conversation. 6 ----------------------. OK? It’s an ethical stealing.com . So I always encourage guys. steal as much as you need.Page 7----------------------www. it’s not a big deal. You can totally build out an unbelievable amount of sexual tension by the effective use of power questions. You don’t need as much as you think you might need. A slightly used humor. the more you use humor within the conversation. OK? Which means. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. First of all. Humor. LLC. How to be funny with women? I’m going to cover that with some segment here. not being too serious. I just want to say. LLC. and it works because women are looking for a reason to laugh. That is what makes humor work in the long run for you. There’s jokes. it works. The specific places and ways that you use humor and I’m going to talk about that in the humor module in this program.” Nothing you say. what I think you should do is to focus on staying lighthearted.else. the less actually the women will feel rapport with you over the long term. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “Steal as much funny as you need.” Instead.Page 8----------------------www. I went for years where I would do nothing more than kind of relive classic Eddie Murphy skits or jokes that are heard before or just kind of recycled humor. you’ve got to be like Jerry Seinfeld to make a woman really turned on but the fact is.CarlosXuma. There are various forms of humor to raise up this energy and excitement. you know like a slightly used car.com Nobody else teaching this as quite as I do because power questions control not only the conversation and the flow of conversation but they control the energy of that conversation. 5 ----------------------. “I don’t want to be overrated. humor itself is highly overrated as a tool for attraction and what we call pick-up or seduction. Limit your use of humor in conversations. A lot of guys would like to tell you that you need to be this super comedian. you’d know that power questions are essential components and as one my unique skills that I teach guys. it does not matter. Keep in mind the jokes that they’re great and the best part about them is that you can steal as much funny as you need. I want to tell you right now. If you’ve taken any of my programs. Power questions. They don’t care if it’s slightly used. I encourage you to try to be original but it doesn’t need to be.CarlosXuma. or as you know as far as humor needs to be original.
“Oh my God. romantically. I cannot mess this up. So there you go. you don’t feel deserving. “I don’t know. I doubt you could match what it is that I’m looking for in a woman. Basically. if you’re just taking her with no questions asked. You’ve got to be picky. If in the back of your head.Page 9----------------------www. I cannot tell you this enough. This qualification portion is a lot of the pull. is I’m pushing myself towards her. Qualification is where you kind of pushing around her way a little bit saying. some people say that push is pushing her © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. 7 ----------------------. will go into a conversation with women. Skepticism and doubt is another part of the qualification. Qualification is discretion and pickiness. I can find a cute chick anywhere.com away and pull is pulling her in. And the easiest use of humor of course is just simply exaggerating into the extreme. I would so do her. So we’re not going to go into much detail about that here. The next is qualification. Very important. You’re a little young. having a light sensation to you. I might as well pull away. qualification mentality that you have when working in this whole connection sequence of push-pull. “I don’t care what this chick says. These are guys that are not having the success they want with women.CarlosXuma. he’s setting himself up for failure. you’re thinking. I don’t want to joke or do anything that might risk it. But you get the idea. Don’t fake this. you’re cute but you know. because a woman can sense this more than anything else. So I’m going to stay on a very serious plane. because if you—as what he’s doing. when you talk to them. that you’re not being dire. I’m skeptical. it’s how picky you are about who it is and you’re going to be involved with emotionally.” And that really destroys the emotions and the attraction for the woman will feel for you. casting or not whether or not you deserve a good woman. I’m going to talk about techniques like this and real ways that you can use humor in the humor section.” Dude. sexually. . OK? Push. back and forth. do not try to fake qualification. that you’re not serious. if a man is not selective about a woman he is choosing into bringing into his life. which actually I think is more correct of the two. pulling away. you feel desperate.” Do you see that attitude that I’m having there? You’ve got to communicate in this within your conversations with women. this is so serious. pull. LLC. whatever it may be.Your best use of humor is not so much of telling jokes as it is. there’s energy and excitement. back and forth. how you use it within a conversation. You can tell when somebody is just taking what they can get as opposed to what they deserve. It’s difficult to find that difference. they’ll talk with women but they’re talking from the standpoint of. you feel like you deserve her.
it’s not genuine. this is where you’re looking for and trying to establish commonalities. you cannot fake qualification and it’s not just the results you’re going to get with her. when you have limits. things like that. Commonalities are very weak form of rapport building and I encourage you to avoid them wherever possible. Rapport and comfort is simply another form of connection.com You have to use questions effectively within the conversations. The person who’s asking the questions controls the conversation. no matter what she says. You’re not going to be the same man anymore when you stop accepting the bullshit that people throw at you start raising yourself up to the standard. Power questions. You read any good Tony Robbins book and he talks about this. you’re cute and all but what else you’ve got going for you?” She will sense that it’s not true. You can use them in a little bit but your big focus here needs to be not on the superficial but on the deep side where you have shared emotional states. again. where you went to school. Rapport and comfort.Page 10----------------------www. I’ll talk about that later on in storytelling. I mean. it won’t come through in your words. she has to feel connection though. This is where you share an emotional state. Then there’s the superficial kind of rapport and comfort. LLC. she doesn’t feel that you’re her boyfriend to sleep with you. it’s because of how you’re going to feel inside when you have standards. someone you know that you both know in common. Story telling is another way you can prove or demonstrate to her that you do have discretion when it comes to women and it might also find a way of communicating to her whether or not she should be thinking about it. Story telling you can use in any part of the sequence.there’s nothing she could say that would make me want not to sleep with her. The power of questions is unimaginable because it controls everything. connection. the questions. 8 ----------------------. to the different norm. but then you’re on the outside and you’re trying to fake it and going. were talking about one big concept here. So that’s why I’m going to focus a special segment on that alone. There is deep rapport and deep comfort where you obviously want to go with a woman. alright? Story telling is also another form of qualification. She doesn’t need to feel devotion. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it changes your attitude completely. connection. It’s the only way to establish a really powerful connection. “I don’t know. that’s what a woman wants to feel. the power of questions themselves cannot be underestimated. when you have a threshold of acceptability within your life. Rapport and comfort is where a lot of guys think of being under staged. You need it to be sincere. I would totally go to bed with her. things like.CarlosXuma. All this stuff trickles up to this diagram I’m showing you here into the . Connection.
” Alright? So that’s why you put qualification there. Especially at the very impactful moments of story telling where you might have something. what she’s trying to do is lower that person’s emotional state and get it closer to her. (laugh). And then. Qualification. and you want her to feel it and you touch her at the same time when you say it. And rapport and comfort. LLC. You have a stronger attitude overall and your conversation works much better too. you can’t do it. it’s like having a main trunk of electric wire coming together in one junction. When you’re using all three together.com Women do it as a way to bring emotional states into equilibrium or at least pull them closer together. Don’t listen to anybody that tells you that you have to do things at a certain order. all of that power comes into one point.CarlosXuma. a big bang. “OK. 9 ----------------------. Because when you’re touching somebody. this where inner versus outer game thing. it’s like your activation energy. maybe. . these three elements.connection. So focus on deep rapport. it may seem silly at the time but you get my point. Ah. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this fact but you know when somebody’s crying and you’re hugging them. this is what we tend to think as attraction. OK. That’s your best way. “I’m choosy.” I think of qualification as being more inner game because when you have qualifying questions in your head and reason why you want to dismiss somebody from being a possibility in your life. it’s very hard to have different emotional states. You use qualification before rapport and comfort because you’re saying here and your qualification. yes I would encourage you to get the energy and excitement started upfront. OK? Maybe. If you’re going to follow it like a blueprint. And again.” Rapport and comfort is the next state of. It’s a very effective tool and you need to use this in conversations as well. being the stage where your trying to stabling more deeper in a sense of connection. powerful technique. Touch is another way of establishing rapport and comfort. if you’re thinking of a classical pick-up parlance. It’s not necessary to follow this like a blueprint. it’s hard for you to be like. I’m going to try and make a connection with you. let me see if you are. When a woman reaches out and touches another woman or touches a guy. story telling appears here on the rapport and comfort because there’s no better way of establishing rapport and comfort with a woman than telling a really powerful story about yourself that connects with her. you look like you’re acceptable. energy and excitement. Women use it to establish control in conversations as well as level set emotions. So again. power questions.Page 11----------------------www. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. that ‘s another way of saying. Again. “I think you’re a possibility. Powerful. Then you can slip into a little bit of qualification and then go into rapport and comfort.
com What happened? It didn’t work for him. he was sincere about this. if you have some weaknesses that just needs to be fixed.Page 13----------------------www.Page 12----------------------www. LLC.com you’re my type. this is what Michael wanted to do for himself. in the long term.If it feels weird to go through energy and building up the energy in a conversation and then building and establishing a strong sense of rapport with a woman and then you suddenly go. 10 ----------------------. I want to emphasize this little fact here. it’s called Now Find Your Strengths and Weaknesses.CarlosXuma. proved himself time and into baseball. he decided to leave was an incredible star. he didn’t care what other people thought which I totally salute him for but at the same time. LLC. you have to keep in mind that. Pick them up to an adequate level but don’t ever believe that your weaknesses will ever be your strengths because they won’t. those are the critical elements of the overall process of how to talk with women and how to build attraction and the right kind of connection with women. what did he end up doing? He went back to basketball where he was a star. when in fact your success lies in your strengths. Michael Jordan. Everybody probably has taught you. work on them. in your job you’ve probably been taught this. Think of Michael Jordan. So there you go. what way back when. that’s why your qualification goes there. “I don’t know. I’ve been reading a book quite recently and I want to share with you. when in fact that’s the worst possible use of your time. The best possible use is where you take your strength and you just put all your energy behind your strengths because that is going to skyrocket your success more than anything else. 11 ----------------------. I’m going to give this as a resource for this program.CarlosXuma. Wherever it is that you’re doing your best right now. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Most people have been taught to believe that they need to work on their weaknesses. it’s a big misconception. I don’t know if © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. family probably talked this. And what they talk about the program is you’re are going to waste a lot of time in your life trying to make your weaknesses build up to the level of your strengths. this is did he do? Well you may remember professional basketball where he athlete. of course by all means. something of that effect. you know with my flight all the time?” That would feel weird. an incredible time again and decided he wanted to go Well he didn’t make the Major Leagues so he went back on to the Minor Leagues. Use your strengths and the same time. where he could . Get behind your strengths. my example for this. that you need to be working on the areas that you’re not as good.
where his strengths. how it should flow and how it should work and understanding the concepts of that conceptually. e-mail. We’re going to talk next on the flow of conversation. material. So you’re going to find areas in here that are going to be your elements of success when you’re talking with women.CarlosXuma. Your talents will be your primary source of your success when you’re talking with women. the foundation which is your alpha lifestyle and the key elements—well the one key element of all attractive conversations with women which is connection and I broke it down to all the segments for you there.Page 14----------------------www. things like you might need in phone conversations. 2. So there you go. Not in trying some athletic endeavor wherein he really wasn’t that quite talented. It’s going to serve you more than anything else. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. . go to the module or segment number two of the program.. We’re going to talk about tools you can use and help you in conversation and get you going and handle some of the common side conversations you have with women. leverage it and use it. maybe it’s the ability to make someone laugh and getting excited and having fun with you and teasing. Facebook or texting. how to talk with women. And that’s it for now. you’re going to learn how to use those as well. we’ve just covered. maybe it’s story telling. 12 ----------------------. Thanks. Those are the ones you should work on enhancing. we’re going to talk about what to do when you run out of conversation. LLC. where applaud needed and that’s where he felt the most fulfillment. next step. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. we’re going to talk about specific techniques for making women laugh and how to use the funny-cocky comedy thing. And then we’re going into hard core mechanics. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.. It’s the same thing with you.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. Whatever your talent may be. we’re going to talk about story telling.shine. Maybe it’s the ability to keeping the conversation flowing or establishing a deep rapport in there. this is Carlos Xuma.
because she’s actually into it. Any one of these can be used as an opener and I really don’t like to set aside opening and approaching as being a different part of the conversation but guys view it that way.com Module 2: Conversation Flow Alright. you can use anything that I’m talking about in this program to apply in opening and starting conversations. This is worst case scenario and the more nervous she is. 10% will be her. she’s not thrown off by talking to a guy. the more it’s going to be like this situation here.. 3. it’s going to have 20 or 30% right off the bat. the ratio of her to you is going to be higher. That’s going to be handled in special approach program. I’m not focusing in specifically on what you need to do when you walk up right off the bat. I’m talking about a lot of the general conversation techniques that you can use along the way.3. OK? I want you to keep that in mind. 2.CarlosXuma. It may not be on scale but I’m sure you’ll forgive me on that part. if this is a woman you’ve just met. So let’s look at the top here. there’s a little diagram a put together to explain the flow of energy between her and you. the more of an open person she is or maybe she is a playful type of person. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. so I’m trying to help you by keeping the same perspective but in reality. Let’s dig right into flow of conversation.Page 15----------------------www. we’re going to look at the actual energy. . we’re back. how should the energy and how should the flow of conversation go with women. it’s time to get cracking on the first topic. a lot of the stuff I’m talking about in this program is not geared towards approach. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. OK? As a matter of fact at the start. if you’re looking at it as a matter of percentage. The conversation is going to be a little skewed towards you providing a lot of the energy to keep it going. although approach is a part of the overall conversation. When it comes to the overall conversation at the earliest part of the conversation. The less nervous she is. 1 ----------------------. 90% will be you. OK? And again. LLC.
see how these numbers are going up? She’s slowly going to be increasing her contribution and her energy into the conversation.CarlosXuma. If it goes higher than 70 or 80. 2 ----------------------. the woman will pick up the ball and she will start contributing more to the conversation than you do. Maybe she’s got a boyfriend. alright? So again. maybe she’s just isn’t into it that day. 70 to 90% of the conversational input and energy. This is time. don’t worry about it. If she isn’t. you’ve got to watch it because she’s starting to control the conversation. It doesn’t matter why. it can be very tiring sometimes talking to women especially when they’re not doing their fair share. You’ve got to watch that too. she doesn’t want to be misunderstood. you won’t feel as vulnerable up here. to the system and they © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you’re going to balance out somewhere in the middle here after some amount of time. So as the time goes by. It’s tiring. I can’t explain it to you. you can start to decrease your energy input and balance out a little bit and this is the other side of the conversation.Page 16----------------------www.com will balance out. maybe she’s just in a bad mood. it really is. . So your contribution will slowly decrease. OK? Until I get to the module on how to understand women. the better off you are. That’s where you see her percentage go up from 50 to 60 to 70 and higher sometimes. this is the later on of the conversation over here. She’s slowly going to be increasing. It can’t because she doesn’t know you yet. you are going to provide most of the energy upfront. as far as the energy goes.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. putting a 90. They’re going to say. if she’s really into it. You should be looking for this kind of a pattern. OK? So this is a model for you to understand the energy output and inputs if you will. if she keeps you at arms length? What she’s saying is she doesn’t want to make it into that conversation for whatever reason. what is she going to do if she holds back. her input is going to increase and as it does. back to the energy of the conversation. it doesn’t mean anything about you.Page 17----------------------www. LLC. The more she contributes upfront. So.com So again. right? Because you’re thinking the wrong thing would it really become her fault? This is Psychology. She will in an essence talk more than you do. the quicker the chemistry because of course.” because then she would feel guilty for that. you’re going to have a problem because her investment in conversation is not the same as yours and what she’s trying to do is keep you at a certain distance to prevent any kind of—she doesn’t want to be misread. going from side to side. This is what happens later on.CarlosXuma. the better the conversation will flow. LLC. You’re going to hear that a lot from women. 1 ----------------------. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. it’s the most intricate form but just trust me. she doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea.
there’s also a woman that feels the same way.com So the first thing that happens in the conversation is your opening. OK? Her reply. The experience that a lot of guys have. to walk up to talk to women with. the more up in your head you are. most guys are so caught up in what they’re saying to start the conversation . Let’s talk. she doesn’t know how to handle the social aspects of it. Somebody told me specifically that. Conversational flow. that’s the one thing guys don’t understand is a balancing factor of this on the female side of the equation. “Hey. is that I give them something completely random to say. I want you to take this sort of thing first. I wou ld be hopelessly screwing up your game with women. LLC. Listen to what she says when she replies. The opening doesn’t really matter. so your opening is nothing more than a match lit to the fire and now you’re watching what the fire does as it burn really slow. whatever that may be. how should a conversation go? Well. in other words if I were to sit down in front of a canvass with a set of paints and paintbrush. Conversation is something of an art.Page 18----------------------www. a little sequence there. what to do. she won’t feel that you’re real. The opening is just a way of opening the door and saying. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. or we’re just having the problem.CarlosXuma. What you’ve got to do is make sure that you are not trying to follow a plan as much as you are trying to keep things improvisational and coming from here rather than from here. We just don’t see it.Let’s face it. I’m not going to give you a specific step by step. Comparing it this way would probably help you. I’m saying that twice for actual emphasis. she won’t be grounded. what that is. Whatever it is. She won’t feel real. Why? Because you’d be relying too much on artificial structure which bears no resemblance to the actual conversation. we just think it’s just guys having the problems. this sort of thing third. the more you’re trying to follow a plan. She might be socially awkward or whatever reason. and it doesn’t matter what it is. in fact it’s the least important part. see what I’m saying? Her reply is more important. But this is why I put an asterisk on this. for every guy that feels uncomfortable in conversations. Let’s go into the next section here. Conversational flow. I’m right here. the more you’re going to create problems for yourself in the conversation. If I did that to you. I’ve trained guys this way too. it’s OK. 3 ----------------------. In essence. is kind of like a paint by the numbers step. this sort of thing second.” It’s what she says after that. And it sounds a little bit satiric but it’s very important that you understand this. that you’d have to listen for. You should be listening to her response. your opening is not the most important part of the conversation. And she doesn’t know how to do it. It doesn’t matter what it is. does it really burn the match out before it even starts. where? Is that art? Not really.
This is probably a law. Think about this. In other words. Think about it. in everything you’re doing. maintaining control of the conversation. form this point on in this conversation. So then. her conversational puppet basically. If you’re not giving value to her in everything you’re saying. LLC. but you have to raise that energy level so that she feels the positive lift of the conversation. if she replied with a question to you like. you’re going to find that out from her reply. because a lot of guys get caught up in the opener in the first gambit that . so you’ve got to watch on that. “What is that the best thing you’ve got going on there for you? Is that a line? Come on. Your response should not only be in some way handling whatever it is she said. Then comes her reply and then comes your reply which is where you need to start making the transition into conversation. your reply. It should never be deter on how she respond to you that should be fairly obvious. Also think about upping the ante.Page 19----------------------www. you’ve got to do better than that. If you’re taking away in any way. You should find a way to steer your answer in a way that you still maintain control of the conversation. your whatever it may be.” Your reply should never be to answer that question or to be a direct rebuttal to it. And her reply gives you bada-bing. of course when you give value. giving value. after your reply and you’ve listened to that. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. whatever the case may be. your reply next should probably be a question and should never be an answer to hers. you’ve got to raise the energy level in the conversation with whatever your response is. whether she’s a good humor. whether she is a cool chick or not. it’s WIIFM.com I’m trying to think of a better term for that but you know. it’s going to be running contrary to the rules of how to talk to women. you’re going to be falling into the trap of being her conversational slave. after she responds to your opening your reply should first of all. Don’t give a direct answer to hers. you’ve got to be adding to the experience in her life.CarlosXuma. You’ll know instantly from what she says to whatever it is you open with. If you’re going to talk to me. 4 ----------------------. This is a big factor.because they had overcome that courage hurdle to actually walk up and talk to her that they’re not listening to her reply. they’re not in it to help you out. this is one of the first laws of talking to women. because if you just answer her question. they’re in it for themselves and her enjoyment is a key factor for that. whether or not she’s got a bug up her butt. give value to her. the key to unlock the rest of the conversation from her. You must always be giving value in some way. if you will . she’s got no motivation to stay in the conversation. what’s in it for her? Is she getting something out of the conversation? Because human beings are selfish creatures.
qualification.CarlosXuma. you should still be able to get some level of interactivity from her. you know those first opening moves but the mid-game is where things really get interesting in chess. Unless you’re just approaching drunk women in a bar at 2am.” When a woman is forced to think in that perspective. So her reply comes. a small sliver of conversations go down that route where she just checks out completely. you need to stand back and you need to start qualifying her a little bit. how you do that is the most © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. “Huh. OK? Even the worst party chicks in bars will give up some form of energy and give up some juice to the conversation. it doesn’t have to be a massive increase. girl. You say something. Again. it’s kind of like chess. you must keep the energy level going. and your midgame has to take on a very connective flow. it keeps her interested. LLC. during your transition to the regular conversation.com important thing. You have to stand back a bit and qualify her and this is what I’m saying. Your opener mode lasts for only two interactions. In other words. it creates more psychological and sexual tension. wait a minute. “Oh you know what? You might not be all that. Whether that’s rapport building or attraction building. keep things interesting. 5 ----------------------. “Oh. and your reply is a transition into what we call a regular conversation.happens within. That’s the way this conversation’s got to go. So you’re no longer in opener mode. from here on out your conversation is chaos.” That’s where qualification says. I’ve got to present myself in my best form. then she’s thinking. Remember I told you. And then the last thing I’m adding in this particular step is. if your sole motive is just to start a conversation. You hear what she says and you reply to that. 6 . it creates more tension.” And if she’s not thinking that way or she’s not working in that direction. he’s here to talk to me and that’s cool and all but he must want something. she’s obviously not for you.Page 20----------------------www. What do I mean by chaos? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I’ve got to be in my best behavior. LLC. You have to meet all my criteria as well. But you should be gently increasing the energy level and the stakes a little bit for you to stay in it which is good. she replies. but let me be honest here. the first primary thing you need to do is form connection with her in some way or another. she forgets about the fact that you’re there to try and be interested in her sexually and now she’s in a different mode of. OK? And the same thing applies here you need to make a transition from your opening game to your mid-game as quickly as possible. stilted and fake. you must give value to her and you must also up the ante. And then she’s going to reply again and now you need to transition it towards conversation. I don’t want you thinking that you have to take off a rocket ship because that’s going to make a conversation feel awfully weird.
is stay in the conversation only as long as you can and then bail.CarlosXuma. When you’re winning. I want you to pay attention to this part. You’ve got your opening game. But the secondary rule is. where after your opening. When in fact. you get a phone number. there’s a certain point that you’ve got to cut your losses. like I’ll give you an extreme example: a guy that just never talks to women and he’s in his first conversation with a woman. what’s going to happen? At some point. you get a date or you try for a kiss or you try and push your physical . because you can’t do it and by doing that.com Chaos means there’s no way anyone in the world can predict how your conversation is going to go. it’s a very small sample of things that can happen there that’s why you can do some preparation after the opener but after that. OK? So I’m assuming that you’re at the point now where that’s not a big issue for you. stop trying to predict every little thing that’s going to happen along the way. go one more step than the last time you did. there’s no way you can know what’s going to happen next. you’ll go a little bit further. you press that a little bit more. Agreed. go find somebody else. LLC. if you will.” but in reality. 7 ----------------------. just like being at a roulette table. you’ve got your mid-game and you’ve got your endgame. That you’re ready to make that transition into the conversation. You have to feel comfortable to leave in the conversation at any time and if you’re in the zone when you’re just totally gripless. know when to stop gambling and walk away with your winnings because that’s leaves you with a positive feeling so that you’ll come back and do that again. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. And the reason for this is. totally lost. That you know that it’s going to require some free-flow ability from you. hey I say. a bit of improvisation ability. As a matter of fact. go and move on to something else. So each time you’re in a conversation.Page 21----------------------www.com So stay only as long as you can in a conversation and then bail.Page 22----------------------www. How far do you think he should go? If it’s comfortable and it’s working. This is the rule that’s always in the back of your head when you’re talking to women and you’re remembering how to talk to women. you’re actually making it hard for yourself to stay in the conversation. You can’t predict it so please stop trying to. “Go as far as you can.CarlosXuma. But here also is another rule: stay only as long as you can and then bail out of this conversation. Get out of there. and now you can keep going. all the way back here. totally clueless. he’s going to trip and he’s going to fall and he’s going to reflect that experience of tripping and falling back on the whole entire conversation he had with her. Endgame is where you close.----------------------. every time that you get in a conversation. everything is totally up to chance and whim and fate and a multitude of events.
the higher your energy needs to be. This is never more true than an opening a conversation with a woman. and it’s going to be difficult to keep a conversation going. 8 ----------------------. And that’s what creates fear and anxiety with women. what you walk away at the end of it will last you until the next time you walk up and talk to a woman or the next time you get into another interaction and it has to keep you on an upward slope. I’ll give you a few secrets here that I’ve used in the past and these are important to remember. LLC. not the other way around. You need to bring up your energy to match the environment or better. you have all three elements in every single one of them. the higher the energy around you when you’re talking to a woman. Again. So remember that. what happens then? You’re trying to predict the unpredictable. Your thinking about something and then imagining outcomes is what creates your fears and anxieties with women. Now. If you’re too subdued. it’s the highest energy it’s probably going to ever be.Page 23----------------------www. because she’s going to feel the difference in the energy levels. what happens here. too laid back. Your emotions came to you because you started focusing on something. Leave her with a positive feeling about it. when your mind just won’t turn off. out of what you can control. just the last part of this initial flow of conversation topic before we get really into the hardcore cool stuff. When you can let go of the need to try and think ahead. what if she does this. Let me repeat this because this is important. Always end the conversation. mid-game and endgame.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. When you can’t shut down the mental gears in work and the things going on up there. alright? So if you’re in a bar.com So why are you there? It’s creating more anxiety and pain for you.escalation a little bit further. You’re in the realm of “I can’t control it. that’s when your mind is trying to work too far out of its own domain. you thought about something and then imagining these outcomes. Beginning game. everybody has. imagining these events. emotions are created by thoughts. techniques you’re going to use. Conversations will come and go. That’s the end game. alright? . Your emotions are created by your thoughts. It doesn’t matter what conversation it is. you’re going to stand out in the wrong way. She has to feel good about the conversation and so do you. Next secret here is. all these things I talk about are meant more for you than her. try and get in there. This is the same kind of thinking by the way that keeps you awake at night that you can’t go to sleep. on a high note. If you’re in a dance club with a high intensity laser beams and lights and a lot of music. You’ve ever had that happen? I sure have had it happen. it’s one level.CarlosXuma. it’s a much lower level. First of all. You’re too engrossed in the environment. If you’re in a bookstore.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.com you know what. The awkward silences and the problem and the description of the solution and how to stop it from happening to you ever again. this is how it were constructed. What do you think? I think so. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. OK? So don’t shy away from using the old cliff hanger.Page 25----------------------www. always leave something unfinished in your conversation for the next time you talk or meet with this woman.CarlosXuma. We can’t stand stories that don’t have an ending. I always make casual mentions and I want to give you more techniques by the way so don’t feel like shipping you here. Always leave something unfinished because what that does is bait. 9 ----------------------. That keeps her coming back for more and whether you like to realize it or not. It’s the way human beings are built. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to . You know when you watch a TV show and it ends with a to be continued and you’re like. we hate a movie that finishes with to be continued. there’s a vacuum there but with energy that pulls her back into it later on. “Oh God. last but not least.And last rule. we need that completion so you might as well be using it to your advantage. LLC. it’s a necessary game. you need that finishing.” you know whatever it is you’re talking about. I’m giving you the techniques on the next part but I would leave a technique like a. “Oh © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. So I don’t want you to think it’s a game. we’re going to get into what you do when you run out of conversation.Page 24----------------------www. What’s your number again so I can call you?” She’s got a reason to call me. I have something cool to tell you about. she feels a positive draw. It’s totally effective and it’s totally necessary. Alright? I’ll talk to you in the next module. you need that completion. Let’s say it’s a vampire movie. I can’t believe it. “Oh there’s something you need to know about that chick but I got to get going.” You know you’re drawn in. So next module. it’s bait on a hook. she does too and it’s a perfectly legitimate tool to ensure that you can stay in contact with her and keep her going. LLC. 10 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. I’ll talk to you about it later. from keeping her interested in the conversation.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew.
My name is Carlos.. First of give you get some concrete all. 3. LLC. you got up the guts to say hello. Think about that. alright? So the problem.Page 26----------------------www. Ask yourself this question.start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. 2. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.CarlosXuma. it’s an inner game thing. “If you were with anyone else that you weren’t attracted to. 3. techniques that you problem and then I’m going to module that you’re going to I call them definite and can use. The problem is. it’s still an inner game thing. 2. Let’s zoom in here a little bit. would you still have this problem of keeping a conversation going?” I’m talking about this term in being in the conversation. Yaddiyadda. let’s talk about it in terms of the the solution. alright? The approach is over. how are you doing? I want to meet you. let’s talk about this because we’re getting into some inner game stuff here and I know the guys just love the inner game. you’re psyching yourself out. You’re psyching yourself out. the whole issue and this goes back into approach of course. whatever it is. Now you’re talking to her. 1 ----------------------. if you answered yes. material. This is probably the first really—I wouldn’t call them hardcore but tactics. . If you don’t have an awkward silence it’s probably not going the way you think. strategies. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. we’re going to talk about awkward silences and why they are actually a necessary component to a conversation. So let’s talk about them. would you still have this problem of talking to them? Would you have problems keeping conversations going? Well the fact is whether you answer yes or no..com MODULE 3: How to Never Run Out Of Things To Say Here we are with the next module. If this person was anybody else that you weren’t attracted to like your aunt or your sister or some guy at the mall.
And if it stops. it could be your aunt. do you? It comes down to a masculinity issue. most guys don’t have a problem keeping conversations with somebody they just know they’re not interested in. it doesn’t have to be a woman. whoever it is. Kind of a crazy thing huh? So again. shape. most guys don’t. they’re not going to point at me and go. loser. why is this? It’s just a natural fact of social interaction that we start to—if our confidence is low in this situation that we start to doubt our own identity a little bit. LLC. they’re not going to somehow call me out. Why is it not happening for you? Well it’s all because of the expectations. This is a really important thing. why is it? Why does the conversation flow with that particular person.com again. If you or anybody else in that moment. “Hey. But when you talk to a strange woman. it could be a guy that you went to school with. So if that doesn’t happen or it doesn’t happen in the conversation. somewhere it suddenly stopped being safe for you to talk to that person. think about that. if it flows. Things just go out of control. You just made an uncomfortable pause in the conversation.Page 27----------------------www. would you be really be having the same problem? Why not? That’s the thing I want you to think on. loser. 2 . Safety is probably the reason why you feel safe with that person. why does it stop? If you’re talking to a person and you’ve got no problem talking to that person. Think of the one person that you have no problem talking to. why did the conversation stop? Because the safety was lost in the conversation. Safety. because you don’t want her thinking that you’re a loser any way. But you feel somehow more contractually obligated to keep it going with a woman that you’re interested in. Safety gives you this sense of—I’m not at risk when I’m talking to them. it could be a friend. matter or form. OK? It could be your mom. Here is another way of thinking about this. And then ask yourself. start flying through your head and you can’t control what you’re thinking. 1 ----------------------. there’s a sense of risk and jeopardy and hazard inherent in it. if the conversation flows with that person. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. LLC. suddenly your masculinity is called into doubt. alright? It’s an important thing to think about. loser. you don’t feel threatened in any way. think about that one person.” It flows because you feel safe in the conversation.If you don’t have that problem. So you now have what we call a thought storm. you’re validated by being able to keep the conversation going and getting a woman interested in you back © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. three-dimensional loser.CarlosXuma. Loser. now anxiety jumps in its place and your thoughts start going crazy.
Another fear you have is the fear of exposure.----------------------. Women by large are much more scared than you or I will ever be. The impostor syndrome means that we all go around feeling like somebody’s going to see through this exterior person I created and they’re going to see all those dark thoughts I’m having inside my head.guys are just plain afraid of women. They’re constantly in a state of anxiety and nervousness about a lot of the things in their life and knowing that should make you feel a lot more reassured about walking up and talking to her.” It’s the highest form of anxiety because we actually think that our physical wellbeing is being threatened. right? It goes out of control. what I’m talking about is this over bloated perception we have about women. What’s the fear of? It’s the fear of women . the back of your brain. Every single person has done something dark or thought something dark. everybody has them.CarlosXuma.CarlosXuma. “False Evidence Appearing Real. 3 ----------------------. You have no reason to fear women. LLC. it’s what we call the impostor syndrome.” You see what happens. . That’s what fear stands for in some circles. Safety is the critical factor in you feeling better about the conversation and not letting them fall into those uncomfortable pauses when you don’t know what to say and you go back up to your head and you’re like. aaahhh. Oh my god. something about—Oh I can’t remember any of this now. I’m not talking down about women right now. a little secret on the side here. you know I didn’t mean to but then I started poking in their guts to see what was inside them. In fact. And oh my God.Page 28----------------------www. Here’s another part of the problem.com All those times I thought about masturbating over a Sears catalogue or the time I killed that frog. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. fear. Oh yes. I’ve got to take care of the situation. I’m at risk.com And you also feel exposed. especially when I get to the special program I’m going to do on how to understand women. It’s a psychological confusion that the brain doesn’t know the difference about. We’ve been brought up in our society that women are now suddenly empowered and we need to fear them in some way. “Oh what should I say? What was that routine I read online? It was a cool one too. We need to fear the “diva” or fear this women empowerment thing. you now feel at risk. it’s getting longer and she’s looking at her watch. “Oh no.Page 29----------------------www. You know those really dark things that we have in our life. that lizard brain part of you that’s fight or flight and tells you. you feel like you’re in jeopardy which triggers that lowest part right at the back of your head.
of course. what we’re talking about the part where the problem itself.Page 30----------------------www. If you’re more focused on protecting or proving yourself. the core of what I teach. Let me say that again.com Alright. keeping yourself out of risk. Well. relaxed and resourceful. First of all. The first. letter R. because this is probably the biggest point of a problem that you need to know. Masculinity is a big part of your ego. You probably know my acronym by now but I’m going to go over them again because it’s very important. The R again. It’s a big part of your identity.And our biggest fear is that that’s going to be exposed to other people and then we’re going to be shamed and then we’re going to be driven out of the tribe. You cannot be resourceful if you’re constantly in anxiety especially when you’re in fear. 4 ----------------------. forget the rest of the word. not letting down the facade in some way. huh? The fear to being exposed or the whole impostor syndrome also stops us from being real. so that’s the fear aspect. Most relevant to what we’re talking about.CarlosXuma. that’s nicely applicable here. That’s really what we’re talking about. relaxed and resourceful. All of the problem is about not being relaxed in a conversation with a woman. keeping yourself away from harms way. And now the E is effective and energized. you can’t be resourceful with what you’re talking about with a woman. What about ego? Ego slips in too. You won’t feel comfortable revealing your true personality if you feel like you have to protect something. Wow. The A is authentic and alpha. the problem is that all of those factors are affected and impacted by your ability to be not just real in terms of that little acronym I gave you. is relaxed and resourceful. but be a real person in front of her. Very important. your acceptance and validation as a man is built into your ego and that masculinity is such a big part of the problem when it comes to talking with women especially when we go back to awkward silences. let me go back to the R. The R in real. the less smoothly your conversation will flow because you’ll be falling back on ego protection mode. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. If you are more focused on protecting or proving yourself. LLC. right? The E is energized. You have to maintain that level of relaxation in you that allows you to draw out the best parts of you. And L is lifestyle and lasting. the less smoothly your conversation is going to flow. . crazy stuff this evolutionary thing. REAL.
statistically speaking you’re not going to get them all. You better go learn it. I know you have because I’ve done it all the time. guys think that when they get a bad reaction from a woman. Very important distinction.” I’ve done that with a woman and I feel that little “forgive me” on the end of it as like a way of me throwing myself at her feet but not in a begging sort of way. What we really need to do is keep trying. Being in the moment. this goes back to what I said that the ego about protecting yourself. You’re not get them all. just a little part of her will go. this perfect pick-up artist training would have avoided it. Don’t change anything. If you’re thinking about what you’re going to say next while she’s talking.Page 31----------------------www. you probably caught yourself doing this. They wouldn’t have had that problem but you did. maybe it’s the blankness in your stare. Go buy another book.” it’ll pull back. We all know that rejection is in there. don’t change anything. just a little bit of a trace. It makes you stop when. It’s our fear of rejection.CarlosXuma. Let’s say that you just unplugged from the conversation and you just stepped back a little bit. you’re at that moment of being maybe slightly vulnerable. the fear of rejection. OK? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. So there’s something that you don’t know yet. this is another part of the problem. “You know what.com We know that isn’t true. Unless you’re failing and this is something that happens at the start of the conversation. you’re now killing the potential for attraction because she’s reading the small body cues that you’re giving off. When you’ve able to focus on her in the conversation on what’s happening between you. maybe the moment is right to tell her. because you don’t them all. 5 ----------------------. LLC. You only want the ones that are going to work for you and going to add to the quality of your life. Again. that somebody else who hadhad this perfect training. because going to want are In the moment. Those little things communicate that you’ve disconnected from the conversation and she won’t even consciously recognize it. Another part of the problem is rejection. maybe your eyes go. because what happens is. A part of her will pull back on the . I came over her and I thought I was going to say a whole bunch of clever stories and I’m totally lost. Forgive me. You may not be able to see tha t on this camera but my eyes just kind of traced over on the side just a little bit and then come back or a waitress passes by and I watched her for a second and I looked back at her.What do you think ego protection mode makes you do? It makes you do things that disconnects you from the woman. the conversation will flow and you won’t run into the uncomfortable pauses. just a little note here because this might help you. Trust me on that one and that’s OK. “Huh. like that. right? Unless you’re failing more than 75% of your approaches with women. If you think about what you’re going to be saying while she’s talking.
you have to have to feel safe in any conversation. She doesn’t feel safe anymore. You probably hear that phrase quite a bit. She wants to feel that things clicked. So it’s just as important for her to feel safe in the conversation as you. First of all. that’s what this program’s here for. that’s how a lot of guys approach this. But if you have a lot of stuff floating around your head. I don’t know what it was but we just clicked together. he just gave me some attraction. If it feels like it just happened and that she was a part of it and it came from inside her and she’s like.” That feels weird. “It just clicked with him. You didn’t make this happen. There are number of ways and I’m going to tell you how to do it.” When something fails you that you think you’ve got to solve a problem.Page 32----------------------www. ironically. the sixty-forty. Now. Sometimes it does. OK? Now you want solutions and that’s what I’m here for. that’s the solution. The reality is that. . Then you forget the techniques and you become more anxious. you don’t have to think about. I do have this attraction.CarlosXuma. having these will make you fail more often than not. You stopped being present and your anxiety actually increases because you have all these material and you can’t use it. “Oh. you’re clever scripts that you’ve got and things like that. having all these techniques that you’re using.conversation and make it more difficult on you because she’ll stop giving you the investment. LLC. the way to feel safe in any conversation. let’s hit it hard.com Where you don’t feel like you’re unplugging and tapping into your routine mechanism. So arsenal of techniques. It’s good to have a few that you know and that you have pull out. marginally helpful. we’ve really pretty much beat up this problem. sometimes it doesn’t. that psychological sound of clicking or the psychological interaction or click with another person is nothing more than the naturalness of the conversation. guess what? At risk. I better use it for him.” Not. 6 ----------------------. She doesn’t want to feel like you made it happen because that makes it weird and stilted and artificial. “Wow. it’s going to pull back and she’s going to 20 or 10% now because she feels.” Well that click. after we’ve talked about being in the moment. right? She’s going to view that as coming from her to you. my man. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. And. you’re just shooting yourself in the foot. they just memorize a shit load of techniques and they hope that that’s going to cover them. the fifty-fifty. First of all. let’s hit it. See where we’re going there? Craziness ensues. “Oh no. first of all you can have an arsenal of techniques to fall back on. A woman wants to feel your conversation that you’re having with her is being like destiny and it just happened from inside her and not coming from you. you’re even more anxious than if you’ve never got them in the first place. whatever that may be. a little tale on this thing here. Too much information keeps you up in your head working up here rather than being in the moment.
Primarily because most people do affirmations like this.Control over your state. You do that. it will work for you. This is a good one. They’d do it through hypnosis. I could have this little guy in an amulet in my pocket and my belief that I invested in him would actually make that conversation. something that I’ll give you in the resources. Use anthems. I highly recommend for you. I’ve got a Yoda doll. affirmations will do the work for you like a champ but you’ve got to put some energy in it. you believe. I’ll have no problem with conversations with women. The difference in an affirmation and an anthem is how much effort and work you’re willing to make to do it. You could make—I’ve got a little guy put up on my monitor. everywhere I go and make him part of the conversation.” It doesn’t matter. These are affirmations that you are connected to that you actually chose the words for it. LLC. Affirmations. there’s lots of different ways that guys do this. If you believe in it and make it work. this is what they’re thinking in their head. So what I’m talking with you here are the most valid tools. I am smart enough and darn it people like me. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. “Damn you. I don’t really adore this very much although they’re still better than nothing. This is an excellent way to have this feeling of safety in any conversation. “I am good enough. Your mind will undermine you if you don’t believe it. I know a lot of guys have had success with hypnosis. It doesn’t work that way. It’s not easy to use so don’t expect it to be a handbook and immediately understand NLP. “If I take this Yoda doll with me. I don’t know why I’m saying it. work. Is it really helping? I don’t know.com I will tell you this though and the fact of the matter is that everything works if you work it.CarlosXuma. Affirmations in the classical sense. it’s what I make. all of which are valid. you little plastic piece of shit. Actually there’s a great book called Introducing NLP. it’s up to you to decide but I can make Yoda work for me or I could have him and think. 7 ----------------------. you’re not helping me at all.” And after a while they started saying. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P . I am smart enough and darn it people like me. NLP is also a valid tool. Again.” Even what they’re saying in their words.Page 33----------------------www. I’d do better in it. Right?” Well you know what? It’s actually true. Another good book for you to use is a book called Slide of Mouth. “I don’t believe anything that I’m saying. This is my personal method of using affirmations. Some things are a little more valid than others. they’ve used the binaural ones where one’s playing in one ear and one’s playing in the other. I am good enough. they hear something cool that somebody said and they listen to it and they say it out loud. These are emotionally driven affirmations. That’s why use what I call Anthems. Control over your state. they do it through affirmations. they’ve used self hypnosis tapes.
roductions, LLC. 8 ----------------------- Page 34----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com Most guys don’t - most guys don’t want to of that stack right now, you’re way above do help themselves or improve themselves. to be all coarse about it but that’s just do shit man, you’re way on top those guys because they won’t They’re lazy as all fuck. I hate the way it is.
And by sheer fact that you’re sitting here and learning from me working on this stuff, you’re already way ahead of the pack, you’re ahead of 90% of them. So if you’re willing to do it and I know you are. I encourage you to take some of those affirmations you may have heard and turn them into anthems. A lot of my programs talk about that and I’m not going to that deep here, again we’re not going into deep inner game, I want to keep real tools. Simplified tools. This is my preferred solution, OK? And I’m putting it here to emphasize that you can have this arsenal of techniques or you can have simplified tools. I say simplified tools because when they work, they will give you a boost of confidence. A very simple opener that works every time that will give you a boost of confidence the second to none. The more confidence you have, the more you begin to use it. The better you get at using it, the more positive results you get then you go back and you use it again and again and again and it gets better and better and it doesn’t matter what you say after a certain point. You start changing the words, you start coming up with stuff, you pull out of your butt, you don’t even know where it came from and it works. So simplified tools are always the best thing. If it’s complicated, if it’s convoluted, if it’s hard to understand in any way, shape, matter or form, do not use it. It won’t work. Another way to feel safe in conversations because we’re talking about the safety element, you want to feel safe. Remove the woman’s ability to lower your value or masculinity. Take away her license to reject you. This is what I’m talking about. Take it away from her. She doesn’t deserve it. She isn’t qualified to hold it. Only you are. If you give that to her, if you give her the ability to make you feel of low value or low masculinity, it’s your own fault, alright? Take it back. You keep it and you control how you invest yourself in the conversation. Very important. False time constraint. This is—I still think that this is one of the most effective tools and it comes from the old pick-up stuff, right? False time constraint means you give her a time constraint by saying, “Look I’m not going to be here very long, so don’t worry,” it answers the questions in her head, “How long is this guy going to sit here and bug me?” And the same © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 9 ----------------------- Page 35----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com time it creates a certain level of abundance on your part because you don’t seem like you’re needy.
You’re not just clinging to her because she’s the only person there to talk to, “You’ve got a few minutes? I’m going to leave but I had to ask you...” So a false time constraint is a great way to make yourself feel safe when you’re going in a conversation because at any point, you can just pull the plug on the chute and eject right out. Alright, so there’s the first one. You want to find ways to feel safe in conversations. Here’s another one. Focus on fast exchanges. What do I mean by this? Remember what we’re talking about here is always going back to avoiding the awkward silences that’s the part of the conversation that we’re talking about. Even though I may go into general terms, we’re talking about the awkward silence when it comes up. One great technique for that to avoid it is to focus on fast exchanges with a woman. No more than 20 seconds is the time when you talk to a woman. You’re not going to talk for a longer than 20 seconds, alright? It may even come to the point where you want to talk more but you can’t—you know you’ve been talking for too long and you need to stop yourself and then you’d get her to talk. What that will do is it will build up a kind of a reserve of energy. You suddenly stop yourself from talking too much, now you’ve got something to say when it comes time to talk again. So that’s going to bottle up in your head. You’re going to feel that as being a positive pressure. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s kind of a satiric concept but it’s kind of, it’s like, I didn’t empty my tank so I want to go back to the gas station and I don’t need that much to fill it again. I’m not going to feel I’m running dry on conversation all the time because I’m stopping myself. I’m keeping my part of the conversation to a minimum to make sure that she contributes the maximum. Try it sometime. Try timing yourself. Let’s see what 20 seconds’ really is. Take your watch out and just sit there for 20 seconds. Time it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 10 ----------------------- Page 36----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com Do you think you could say something meaningful in that space of time? I think you can. I think you can probably say quite a bit. Maybe too much. So again, keep your investment in conversation short like that because number one, it helps her keep talking. Number two, it also helps you stop from over talking, alright? And it will keep you bottled up with some reserves. Focus on emotional content within the conversation. This helps you avoid those silences because when you’re talking about facts, you’re talking about details, things that are very particular that she’s not that crazy or interested in. You’re going to kill the conversation for you in the start because there’s nothing there for her to burn in terms of fuel. Emotional content in a conversation is very important because facts will get you talking, they’ll start you talking but emotions are the goal of the conversation. We talk to other people to start an energy loop between us and them. I’ve talked about this in my couple of other programs and I’m not
going to go into deep, deep game here but remember that when it comes to interacting with another person socially, you’re creating a feedback loop with that person. Every time you open your mouth and start talking to them, you start getting a vibe and then you start saying things and you feedback off of each other. It creates a closed loop of experience. And you can start with that conversation with something very basic like facts or small talk like we say, “Hey, how’s the weather? Oh I don’t know,” that’s not emotional. When you get emotional then the conversation starts to get a whole new life. And those spaces don’t happen because the emotions carry you between in the gaps. When a woman mentions an emotion, that’s your clue, dig deeper. There a gold mine, there’s like a little glint of gold at the very top and then there’s a whole vein of gold underneath that. As soon as you see that she’s talking about emotion. You know, you ask her what she’s doing and she’s like, “Oh, I’m OK, a little tired.” “Why are you tired?” “Oh, it’s just kind of emotionally exhausting, you know? I was kind of sad that my dog died about 2 months ago and I, I’m not so sad about the dog, © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 11 ----------------------- Page 37----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com now I’m sad about finding a new dog because that new dog is going to remind me of my old dog and I can’t choose.” See where I’m going here? Suddenly you started a spark because you chased the emotion not the facts. Alright? Very important. And I also wonder how it is I’m able to have these conversations like that sometimes I feel like I’m a channelling chick, some sort of chick channelling ability. Keyword tennis. I just did it for you. I just gave you an example, listen for the words in what she says and ping-pong off of it or tennis off of it. The way you do it is, whatever she says to you, listen for one word to repeat, alright? So you’re starting to talk with her and I’m going to use some basic examples, you’re in a bookstore, and she picked up a book, maybe she’s got one of those Harry Potter books and then she says, “Oh yeah, I got one of these books, I want to go look through it, I have this niece of mine that was really into Harry Potter and she really likes the movies,” and you’ve got a whole ton of stuff there, what did I just give you? First of all, she talks about the niece, that’s the first place I would go, “A niece, oh really? Is it your sister’s child or your brothers? Oh OK.” See, and then start to tap into the emotions because girls who have nieces or nephews or any kind of niece or nephew relationship, they’re very keen on
You’ve got the books. “Oh did you see the last movie? What did you think of that? How did you feel about it?” You find the words. “Look at that. Very important. Start telling me about yourself. and she’s like. She’s so adorable and she’s a little young now.it it’s because they are as close as they’re going to get to their own children.com Laugh at the elephant. Laughing at the elephant means there’s an elephant in the room.” and she starts talking again. a lot of guys worry about keeping a conversation going. So it’s a big emotional contact there. “Niece. I’m totally out of conversation. You can laugh at it together.” “Yeah.” And then you put the burden back on her shoulders. This is the one strategy I use every single time that one of those uncomfortable silences comes up. this is one of those uncomfortable silences.” All I said was.” It’s a great scene. that’s the uncomfortable silence right there. my brother’s little girl. That’s kind of the thing in parenthesis here.Page 38----------------------www.CarlosXuma. Coming back to our main topic which was awkward silences because that’s what we’re talking about. You say. invaluably brilliant scene in Pulp Fiction where Uma Thurman and John Travolta are in that restaurant and they’re talking about whatever and then there’s a pause. “Oh. LLC. I must have not filled up 98 octane conversations this morning. I don’t like to call them that because they’re not really comfortable for me anymore. give it some time. “Oh.” Put it back on her. it’s one of the one’s I’m going to include in my little . don’t call one when it doesn’t feel like it. “Niece. you’ve got the movies. “Don’t you hate that?” “What?” “Uncomfortable silences.” Flip it back. I don’t want to get nervous about it. put the onus back on her. and she doesn’t quite understand everything. it’s like NLP thing. The little triggers keep it going for her. you grab on to the words and bat them right back. you go. you start telling me something. right? If there’s a pause in the conversation for whatever reason. “OK. The Harry Potter thing. it’s like a poke in the ribs that keeps her going. Harry Potter?” Sometimes all it takes is just one word. point it out. right? This is the one tactic that I use on every single silence that comes into a conversation and works every time. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. You tell me about yourself. 12 ----------------------. if you genuinely can’t come up with something and you start feeling that anxiety. you can look at it. This technique by the way is something I learned from the immeasurably. I mean like a second or two. How to keep the conversation going? Laugh at the elephant. Make her contribute to the conversation.
I would go and take a bathroom break. “Oh. LLC. Pop culture make me immediately go. “Excuse me for a second. “So tell me. you expose it for what it is and you go. Because inevitably.” And I’d go off to the bathroom and either on my phone or on my sticky that I’d folded up and put on my wallet. “Carlos. just don’t get caught up quoting lines from movies and again. What do I mean by a fall back? I actually did this for a long time before starting to learn from this stuff. what did you have on that sticky?” Here’s what I had on it: One word: food. I was probably babbling by myself. LLC. “Oh. I’ll be right back though. It’s not movie facts. I would have a list of things to talk about. There’s a whole bunch of drama in those.Page 40----------------------www.” You get nervous and again. 14 ----------------------.” Movies. I know I’m supposed to be talking right now and she’s still talking but I don’t know what to talk about. 13 ----------------------. I’ve got to go to the John.movie breakdown and it emphasizes that that is the brilliant way to take the piss out of a moment like that. I’d say.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it’s movie feelings that will keep you in the conversation with her.CarlosXuma. “Oh. Food is an awesome conversational thing. you’ll relax when resourcefulness kicks in. This is one of those things that has kept me in the car that kept me thinking. watch out for movie facts.com . yes. You’re no longer resourceful.com Have a fall back.” “Oh yeah. Don’t steal my beer. what’s your favorite food? Because I don’t think they cook some of the best stuff here.” I’d go back to her and I already got this conversation ready to flow. So I had a sticky in my wallet with a whole bunch of questions on it and a couple of topics. wow. So you’re probably asking. What is it that she does?” Pop culture. duh. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. what did I just see this morning? And that entertainment weekly thing. I need to ask her about her hobbies. Right at the top of my tongue.Page 39----------------------www. “OK.CarlosXuma. I would get nervous and be like. Everybody likes to talk about movies. I know exactly what I’m going to talk about when I get back with her. You see it. I think it might be like an Irish-English mix because this is kind o f a pub. that tribute they were doing on Michael Jackson. Her hobbies.
right? Don’t let it just go like that.” Because some indicator will show up and she’ll know it’s for real. “Would you have like a big tattoo all over your left arm to save the life of a child you will never meet from another country?” And almost everyone would go. “Oh. So there you go. how she feels about it. I’ll give you an example. kind of related to Pop culture but it gives you a different angle to go down. Again. Having a good story or two to throw in at the right moment is excellent because at any moment when you start detecting that little pause and that little silence. what do you mean? Why are you telling me this story?” She doesn’t care.” Very vague. keep it in your wallet. Oh. A lot of women say things in very general terms. Just having a few power questions on hand that I may not have asked.com Active questioning also keeps you there and present in the conversation. And I would also have a few power questions on that card. we’re going to have a story telling module in this class. That’s all you need to do to tell your story. it’s a great way to get a conversation going. what kind of food do you like?” Have a story or two to throw into the mix. one of the great dilemma questions was. so make sure you’re using active questioning. Latch on to the things that she says that are kind of vague.So then you’d say. “Oh God. LLC. wait a minute. “Wait.” and then you’ll start telling your story. See you. “You know what? I’ve got to get going. “I’m sorry.” Or I can just go. you know what? I just totally remembered something. 15 ----------------------. Having a few stories ready and again. Things like.CarlosXuma. you would ask me that? Of course I’d do it. my mom’s texting me again. but do I know this girl? Will I ever get the chance to meet her?” They want to change the rules. “Did it bum you out about Michael Jackson? What was your favorite song about him? Really? Does that the one that made you feel?” Music. You can put it also on your phone now. food. you can sit there and go. those are the things that I would keep on my little cheat card and it’s a fall back. she’s doesn’t going to go and say. she just want you to tell the story. She’ll say something like. Find a way of talking about music that she’s into. A woman doesn’t want an excuse from you. “So I’m out with my friends at this place. don’t interrupt her conversation just for the sake of interrupting but you can really draw deeper into it by saying.Page 41----------------------www. I’ve also got an Iphone and I have this clever little application that allows me to time it to ring me 15 or 20 minutes into a date and I can trigger it and can give me a reason to look at my phone whether it’s to say. “Which friend? What place . You’ve got to probe into whatever it is that she’s talking about. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “So. It’ll give me a chance to look at. that would always help me quite a bit too.
you have the ultimate end game and the ultimate solution to any conversation that is not flowing or has a lot of these silences in it. when you jump in the pool and when you get out.” You’ve got to draw more out of her. “Oh. but the reason I said they are necessary by the way. you need to be able to end it. you have the ultimate veto my friend. I like that movie. what’s your phone number so that we can maybe connect and talk again?” Boom. totally uncertain to you and it’s no risk at all because you control. If you could make her feel comfortable through it. And that’s what gives you the right to go. because they will happen in every single conversation. I know I may not have explained that. alright? Not every conversation is going to be a massive epiphany or a fantastic bonding experience.com enough. You have to know how to manage it. those train you for much more advanced conversational ability. Maybe this is all this conversation’s going to go and you want to end it on a good note. 16 ----------------------. ask her details. I guarantee it. Anything that happens in between doesn’t matter. Book ends on the conversation. Being able to manage them and get past them is important. “Oh.” Alright? So probe in. And that is to simply end it. right? Another example. it will happen. So again.” Pretty vague. you control the closing. very important because you’re removing risk when you control this end bookmark. You’ve got another chance. Some of them are just going to be very short and . And then. Maybe you’re just done for the night.CarlosXuma. that’s the way I would end most of my conversations whenever I run into one of these awkward silences.where you at? Was that during the week or during the weekend?” Get details. she’s watching you to see how you handle it. be more specific with it because every time you do that. “Whooh. OK? Very. the reason the silences are necessary is because that when those come up. Alright? At some point or another. if you go long © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. LLC. you’re a winner.Page 42----------------------www. right? You mentioned a movie that she liked and then she says. ask her to give you more. ending the interaction on your own terms. And the other necessary part is. OK? Don’t let her get away with just the. And in fact. Gives you a chance to recharge. you control the opening. “Oh you know what? I’d love to sit and talk to you all night but I was just about to ask you about something but I’ve got to get going. there’s a point where you’re going to go. by the way. she’s going to remember more it that keeps her talking and gives you more to latch on to bat back to her by using that tennis thing. “What was your favorite part? Who was your favorite actor or actress?” Keep pulling more information because that’s what’s going to keep it going. “I like that movie. I liked that movie. you have the control. Whatever she says that’s vague gives you an opportunity to really actively question her about whatever it is you’re talking about. It can be totally vague.” It always happens.
Page 43----------------------www. A little view here. there are pauses there uncomfortable silence.CarlosXuma.” and have something to grab on to. you’re showing the initiative. LLC. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . I’m done. “OK. 2. That’ll get you through some pauses too. How about that? We’re going to talk about how to create your story.com Make sure you point it out. Laugh at the elephant. “Ping. you are the one that says. And whether it’s at the start or at the end of an awkward silence. buy a new car.com Have a fallback which is have something in your wallet. you control it. point out the fact that and be like. The more she talks. “Blah blah blah. we’re going into storytelling. See you in the next module. is it gives you the moments where it gives you. that you’ve practiced that you can throw it in at any moment. my niece. The uncomfortable silence and it’s really not difficult once you get the hang of it. “Oh cool. Focus on the emotional content. the more things are going to be triggered in your head that builds up potential conversation for you. women all the time and oductions. High five. we had our first we made it through. the necessary elements and what kind of story you want to create. 18 ----------------------.Page 44----------------------www. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. have a way to feel safe in a conversation. Have a story or two ready to go that you’ve memorized. Make sure you’re asking her for more details than she’s giving because that keeps her more engaged and gets her to invest more in the conversation. not the facts. Do the keyword tennis that I was talking about.sweet. ping. So there you go.” You’ll unplug and you’re done and you finish the conversation on your terms. Harry Potter. they think it’s hysterical. And responses that you can get to her and questions that you can ask. LLC. blah blah. We just solved one of the big problems that guys have had since God knows when.” All that does. 17 ----------------------. because then you’ll be able to relax and you’ll be able to fill in those gaps easier. doesn’t matter. some of the ways to solve this problem for the necessary awkward silences that you’re going to run into and how you’re going to keep a conversation going. There you go. 1. First and foremost.” I do that with they love it. Focus on fast exchanges so that you’re not talking very long.CarlosXuma. Active questioning. blah blah blah. alright? Next module. And that will keep you feeling safe as well as in the conversation when you want to. a cheat sheet. pick up words that she says in your head and. And then when all else fails.
specific tools and exercises and then how to use it within the context of a conversation or how to bridge in to storytelling. look at theatre.CarlosXuma. 2. how to start using it.com MODULE 4: How to Use Storytelling Hey.. it . as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. 2. I’m going to explain in a little bit why. In any conversation with a woman or in any conversation with any group. We’re going to cover storytelling today.Page 45----------------------www. 3. we’re going to talk about what it is.YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. material. You simply can’t do without it these days. welcome to the storytelling module of this program. look at movies for example. 1 ----------------------. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. woman and child on this planet. that’s what we’re going there for. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. We’re going to cover story telling. storytelling is an essential skill to have. we’re going there for visual entertainment with a story. LLC. why it works and how you leverage it and use it when you’re learning how to talk with women. I’m going to give you not only the basics and fundamentals but some deep rooted understanding of how storytelling works.. because it’s one of those things built into the primal mechanism of just about any man. it’s Carlos Xuma. I mean. So let’s go into it. A lot of the guys aren’t very secure or sure how to bridge into a story. 3. We love stories. I’m going to talk about the critical elements. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.
in the anything that you happen to be at or if you happen to be meeting her or talking to her. Well. any event that’s happened to her. “How did you feel about that?” How did you feel about that? How did that make you feel?” Asking that one question will immediately create a much more solid connection between you and her. You . emotion. That’s one thing. you don’t want that. emotion.seems like it might be a little bit weird to suddenly start saying. “You know. And when you think about your own stories. this question is very important. in the party. I can’t just emphasize that enough. When you’re talking with women.” And you know. I want you to memorize this one. You’re going to establish a much more solid line. So think about emotions when you’re thinking about storytelling. Let’s start with the critical elements. I cannot emphasize that enough. The critical elements of storytelling. in the club. there’s like this filament that’s coming out of your sternum and it’s connecting to her sternum and that filament represents the connection between you two. I don’t know why. And you’ve got to think about that. So asking this one question. you know I always use the metaphor of when you’re talking to a woman. It’s kind of an NLP trick there. where you get them to talk about the emotions you want them to feel. You want a thick chain. OK? It doesn’t have to be a storytelling situation. there’s one simple thing that you can say in any point at a conversation. she’ll say. 1 ----------------------. First is. how you want that connection? What do you want for that filament? Do you want it to be a thin thread that’s barely glowing. LLC. back and forth. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. you’ll see her kind of like fall into state as she starts to reconnect with the emotions.CarlosXuma. yeah. She’ll start talking more frankly with you and it doesn’t happen instantly.Page 46----------------------www. I don’t know. So ask again this one question. emotion. you can ask one question and immediately pull her in closer. that’s black? No. It connects you and binds you. the most important part of the conversation is how well you leverage and use emotion in the conversation. it’s the one thing that pulls a woman into a conversation and it’s the one reason that she’ll stay there and talk to you above and beyond any other guy in the bar.com And as far as emotions. “Once upon a time. I was kind of sad about it really. It’s the one thing that grounds a woman. a thick conduit between you and her. you ask this one question and she’s going to immediately have. OK? Very important to know. Emotion. “How did you feel about that?” At any point of the conversation. she’s going to immediately get much more engaged in the conversation. it really did get me down. when she talks about anything. all these little lights are going to turn on inside her head.” right? It’s not that hard and I’m going to show you how. It’s a transfer of energy.
well then I’m going to have a lot more to talk about. again. or what you can really come to grips with.Page 47----------------------www. Anything that she can see. 3 ----------------------. LLC. that’s up to you but the point here is emotion. So think about that. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. the closer to her body physically that they would have to come to be a part of that story. you wouldn’t believe. She’s not really engaged or involved there. But if I talk about the emotions I had as certain things were happening. emotion. “Oh. when I’m describing a car. emotion. it’s not about facts or logic. 2 ----------------------.should be thinking about. honesty. Remember that. your stories are not about facts or logic. the most important ones to use are emotional details but also sensory details. Details.com And then. it wasn’t meant to be smooth. she can see a car’s color from a thousand feet away. So emotions are the primary part of your stories. Now. I know it’s going to sound a little weird. Very. In other words. very important for stories and it’s not just the details of what was the color of the car or how long was her hair or what was the weather at the time. it was really wild. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. because if I tell that to a woman in terms of the facts of what happened. feel. Keep that in mind.CarlosXuma. This is a really important thing and I .” That. it was kind of one of those Braille books for the blind. Bring those details close to her as much as you can. however you’ll do that.CarlosXuma. I’ve got a great story about the playboy mansion when I went to go visit there. touch. she would have to imagine physically touching it and being there connected to that car. they’re not going to care. the event that happened. I can tell you what color it is. So it’s not about facts or logic. “How did you feel about that?” Whatever it was. Again. LLC. the better that detail.Page 48----------------------www. Remember.com You know. those are important details but again it goes back to what emotions do those details bring out? But knowing details within the story and knowing which details to use are very important. Alright. even in the fiction. that’s a totally different sensory state to put her into. it’s the only reason you’re telling the stories is to communicate emotions. it goes back to the emotion thing. And I think about it but I also think about it now in terms of the emotional content. it was on purpose. it was really wild when you ran your hand across it. the car’s finish had this kind of bumpy like finish to it. the point of the story is to take her on an emotional journey. we can see from far away but what if I brought up a detail about.
what happens is there is a whole long sequence where you think you’re following along with the story and then suddenly. And you feel gypped and ripped off when that happens. it’s like a realization about your own life. LLC. I feel like I’ve been tricked. It’s what they call the truth. I remember one. there’s an unbelievable impact that it will have on your stories. I’m trying to think about a good example for you.” it’s like you’ve had an epiphany. it doesn’t have to be true but has to be honest. How about reading about that Stephen King book? He’s good at this. But in the movie. he has this moment of truth in his book when you read it you’re like. It can’t be trying to trick the reader or the viewer. There’s a movie I saw recently.haven’t for the a story hundred heard anybody else talk about this. That’s a moment of truth that somebody can really grab on to and go. it’s just an important thing. And that’s what you’re looking for in all of your stories. So you’re probably hearing this first time. but the best fiction. the best writers in the world know that there’s one thing that sets the story apart from all the other stories. When it comes to stories. I almost forgot how much in pain I am. Kind of like tripping over a basket of laundry you know need to do. “Oh.” and connect with in a heartbeat. “It was like waking up and then you start going about your day.” I can just visualize that for a second and be like that moment and you’re having like. you can read a of those dime store novels that are just pulp. The people . I don’t want to give way too much here. they bring you back and it turns out he was just actually imagining all that stuff happening in his head. the most important thing about for us that really makes it resonate. right? They’re just entertainment. “Oh.” Right? It’s just like tripping over a basket of laundry. If you can find this truth in any story and either create a moral or a kind of a point to your story. the end of it where you bring up what you’ve learned from that experience. do I mean that they’re telling the truth that it’s not really fiction? No. “Oh. Because it was fairly entertaining up until that point but that was like. 4 ----------------------. He was talking about how this guy had just gone through a tragedy and it was a couple of weeks later but he was still in the throes of grief. I mean. using that truth. Trust me. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. And I think that was probably the one thing that hurt the movie the most. when we say the truth. he said. I felt like I’ve been gypped and I’ve been messed with. It was entertaining on a certain level but at some point in the movie.Page 49----------------------www. I think it was called “Next” with Nicholas Cage and by far it was not one of his best efforts. if you haven’t seen the movie. you remember it. and then suddenly in your head. that’s not what I’m talking about. you can read forward a little bit. I don’t know if it was about the loss of his wife or whatever it was.com So remember that it’s honesty even inside the fiction.CarlosXuma. and that’s this little level of honesty and truth that’s inside the story. the best authors. But he described it like this. Now. you kind of forgot for a moment that this horrible thing happened to you.
those are the fun stories but when you’re telling her a story about your life that you want to communicate to her. it makes you real. So storytelling is like a subtle way of going around that © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.” Now. it better be pretty true. makes you a three-dimensional person. That’s probably one of the biggest points of storytelling that you have to remember. all of which are going to be true.and how you say it. in fact. OK? Real important. got you!” You don’t ever want to make a person feel like that when you’re telling them your story. it bypasses filters and the shield that a woman has up around her about you. You can walk up to a woman and say. What is storytelling? Storytelling communicates your personality. The second somebody walks up to you and says that . not just some guy that walked into the bar to pick up a chick. It’s very important that this fills in the gap of the conversation. you’d want to marry me in a year. those defenses it’ll get through to her like nothing else can. you can pull one of these stories out and it’s kind of like an octane boost to the conversation. enough said about critical elements. She’s immediately doubtful about you . You’re telling the story so that you can communicate things about you to a woman that you wouldn’t normally be able to. That’s why we construct stories or we create stories about ourselves. I am the perfect guy for you. Most of your brain has actually evolved to be able to tell the difference to figure a person out without them telling you anything about themselves. she’s not going to believe you. It gives you depth and background. So. LLC. “Hah. Nobody will believe you. right? For the most part. It also like I said. You should be dating me. “I am fantastic.who made the movie are going. Alright? You can exaggerate elements but keep it pretty much on the level. You communicate things about your personality. right? It just sounds so incredulous because you can’t trust somebody to tell you that about themselves. no. But that story will bypass those shields. It picks things back up again. It’s the weirdest thing. all that might be true but by you telling her like that.CarlosXuma.com mechanism and showing the things about you without telling her directly. It gets them moving and that’s how it fills in gaps. Very interesting isn’t it? How we have these complicated layers of work about our genuineness and authenticity that most of our brain has to figure out a person’s authenticity not by what they say but how they act and behave. Storytelling serves a very big purpose and if you have one of those uncomfortable pauses or awkward moments in a conversation and nothing’s moving forward.Page 50----------------------www. You should be able to but you can’t. go home and get laid.as you should be about her. I mean fictional stories are fun. 5 ----------------------. And the only way you can really decipher that person or the only way that she can really figure out you is by reading you from the things you say or what you say .
And I’ve got a story that goes into about what happened that night at the Sky and I had a great time. I bought the car that day and I sat there for . the Charger.Page 51----------------------www. now how do you start using it? First of all. when the second person walks up to you and says.” When I got my Mustang. The Mustang that I bought. I’m a guitarist.they want to tell you a story. it was just about to turn 2006 and I remember that day because I was going to the store to get some—a good friend of mine. I love to play the guitar. it’s the cool Bumblebee Transformer Camaro. help me buy some clothes. the weaknesses and all that stuff. It’s just one of these many different tests you can take to figure out your personality. you’re kind of like. blah blah blah. I’m a martial artist.CarlosXuma. have fun. your strengths.” You recoil and pull away. Like for me for example. I’m big into sports cars or old muscle cars that had been redone in the last few years like the Mustang. CJ. You want to take these strength assessment tests that they have online. You can also take a Myers-Briggs test. What else? Hey. this thing actually unfolds into the Bumblebee from the movie. to chill and hang out. if I think about any one of those things. The list of those personal qualities. you can get a cheap copy. I love to do Kung-fu and Karate. I can immediately come up with a story about them. I just wanted to relax. I love Elvis. telling you a story about how he wants to sell you real estate.com find it and it’s a great way discovering what your strengths are. make a list of all the thing s that you know about yourself. my Mustang. things like that. 6 ----------------------. So that’s what it is. I want you to make a list of your personal qualities whatever they may be. “Oh. your inclinations. this Camaro. I’ve got a little car here on my desk. the Camaro. Yet the person telling the story might be doing the exact same thing. go online © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. party a little bit.That’s interesting because it talks about your personal qualities. I am also really big on collecting guitars. here’s my own little Mustang on my desk here. you know these are some of the little things that I can talk to about myself. “I would like to sell you real estate. I didn’t have a girlfriend at the time. I got on New Year’s eve of 2005 to 2006. Like. and that night I was going to sky just go in. Just thinking about this car makes me think of. if you can find that in Amazon. But make a list of the qualities for yourself besides those little personality tests which are very insightful. It’s got one of those stupid little things. There’re other different personality tests that’ll be more specific in different ways about who you are. I think I should need a woman’s touch on that. Another part of this program I think I mentioned a great book called Now Discover Your Strengths. he was going to go to the store with me. LLC. I think you can do it even without the book. But that’s cool because I can talk about the story about that car and suddenly I’m thinking about all the things that happened that day. I was just talking about cars. I’m still thinking about getting one of these cars. I know Geeky but very cool because I love this design. I’ve got all a bunch of toys on my desk that makes me more creative.
and it was about an hour and a half to Niagara Falls and that’s the boundary to Canada. “Screw it man. these are the things that a woman can relate to. I’m going out to do something totally off the wall. “What?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. take control of the situation. What to communicate. Here are the things that you want to communicate within the context of a story. It’s power of your ability to take the lead. that’s personal power. Most guys give off bravado and these little courageous things they talk about and they talk about a lot of facts and things like that.com like an hour. just playing because it’s just a new car.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.CarlosXuma. that in itself is power. “Let’s do it. We all jumped in the station wagon. take ownership. I would give that story more of a point that’s kind of unfocused and scattered but I would pull that together into a story.” Like I remember one night . right? And then. Everybody’s had one of those. Even if it’s not necessarily your personality to do that.” And we we’re like. took around $350 to fill the gas tank. but they don’t talk about compassion or feeling connected to other human beings. it doesn’t have to be real power like political power or anything like that or even power within the organization that you work in. LLC. this Beasley station wagon. you can just do something different. probably got . you might want to come up with a story that talks about the time when you did. we’re so bored. do something off the wall. That on a turn of a dime. He has the power to go and learn. Even the least empowered of us has power over something at some point in his life. You know.Page 53----------------------www. That’s what compassion is really is about. then it was me and my friend Chris and my friend John and then Paul was driving. “Hey.” So my friend got his sister and his sister’s boyfriend. where I grew up. when you said. We’re talking about power that you can use at anytime. LLC. let’s go to Canada.CarlosXuma. we we’re sitting around in the house just at 10 o’ clock at night and we’re like. 8 ----------------------. You should be communicating that you’re an adventurous person. 7 ----------------------. I don’t want you thinking that your power has to be something magnificent or lordly or wield a sword or anything like that.Page 52----------------------www. Compassion is a very important one. “God.com I was living in upstate New York at the time. You want to communicate personal power. we’re just hanging out. he has the power to go out and pick up a new skill of some kind. And we’re like. Communicate adventure and spontaneity. Compassion within the context of a story is essential as a matter of fact because that’s one of the things that a woman’s looking for.” and we’re not drinking. We we’re like.here’s a story for you some high school buddies and I. to put himself in a situation that he’s never gone to before.
that you’re resourceful. You also want to communicate acceptance by other women or. it was like 1 o’clock in the morning and we’re like. drove home and that was our joke for the next week. I teach kids martial arts as you probably know or may not know. “Oh.that I’m laid back. We drove to Canada. 9 ----------------------. I’ve got stories for that too . other women think that he’s OK. “We’re sorry. we drove to Niagara falls. it’s moving you forward. you want to be careful on how you do this. “What? Are you kidding me? Canada closes?” It was like the joke of the night. the top 1 that I had was achiever which means that’s my most important strength that says I get stuff done. or somebody calls this preselected . In that strengths assessment that I did. “You know that Canada closes at 1 o’clock?” There you go. the mothers. the women there.” It’s after 1 o’clock. scheduled kind of guy and I’ve got to admit to you that this is one of the toughest one. that you would be able to find a way to survive in any situation you’re in. that you’re not a rigid. you can’t come in. we got to a certain point and we walked across the bridge to go over to the Canadian side and they told us. First of all about how I teach.Page 54----------------------www. structured. too . a little spontaneous story. One of the things that I do. I follow routines because it helps things accomplish in my life and that’s my primary motivator. Independence and resourcefulness.preselected by women. you can work this into any story like you can stack a bunch of these into one story if possible. LLC. I must be able to.5miles to the gallon. I think this is one of my strengths at the studio is. really like having their boys study with me because I am very particular. If a woman were to be trapped somewhere with you. I like routine. Canada closes at 1 o’clock in the morning.CarlosXuma. that you have a certain amount of McGyver in you. And I’m willing to accept the fact that sometimes I’m not so easy going but I have to work on that every so often to try and be more easy going.right?” It’s just another social proof element. But ambitious is really important because it shows that you have a certain drive or propulsion within you. What you’re communicating in the story. you don’t want to do it too much but when you communicate to other women to accept you. you’re not following other people. this is another element of safety by the way that you would be a very resourceful person.com You want to communicate that you’re fairly easy going. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I am a fairly structured kind of guy. And not . So we hung out in the American side. that you go by your own rule book. Ambitious. It’s really important to throw in a story about ambition. she would not have to worry. The independence part means that you are self guided that you have your own internal compass. I think mystery. what I teach and to kick them in the ass to get them moving and learning stuff. You should be able to communicate that you’re an independent person. that sends a signal to a woman that says.
with just reading those off made me kind of think down the chain a little bit. so things back up. Now. like I said. put that in your stories. Women are unbelievably attracted to your level of ambition.CarlosXuma. acceptance by other women. they immediately associated with me as being kind of a leader of that group because of the interaction and the vibe I was giving off by having just talking with these women.” No. write them down in your journal or wherever you have keeping the written information that you’re working on in this course. right? Go for the Gusto they used to say. independence and resourcefulness. . So find some stories in your life that communicates those traits. 10 ----------------------. the acceptance by other women. going back to the playboy mansion.Page 55----------------------www. after you’ve figured maybe a story that fits one of those particular areas or use one of those areas. Sometimes I’m going to kick you so hard. we sure can think of a lot of positive traits to communicate but these are probably the most important. talking to them and I kind of felt like I was on a good level with them. “Oh. you know she loves her child but she hates seeing this trait of a boy and that’s a lack of motivation or ambition.like one of those lackadaisical teachers that say. that acceptance by those other women actually rubbed off on everybody around me. It was very cool but that’s one of those things that you’ve got to look for and to find stories from your own life. I’m going get my foot stuck up in your ass but I’m going to make sure that this kid gets motivated and moves. then I want you to find stories in life that communicates those traits. And I’m also going to watch you and if I see you slacking or not very motivated. after you do that. That you aren’t going to just take what is given to you. So you can come up with a story that shows your ambitious side. That’s an acceptance thing. that’s good enough. I’m going to kick you in the ass.com She hates seeing that in her boy because she knows that that’s the one thing that women are attracted to. look through those power and passion and venture spontaneity. Acceptance by other women. hot women and all these poses and things like that. I hung out with them for a little while. You are doing that aren’t you? Good. we were really connecting and when other people came to that table. Everybody’s got them. I was hanging out with a group of women from this company that makes little trading cards. I’m going to give you a compliment here and there if you deserve but I’m also going to tell you where you need to improve. you want to go out there after it all. I’m going to correct you. And they appreciate that because one thing I’ve seen is that every mother hates about her boy when she sees him. Take a little while. So guys who come over and see me talking with these hot women would immediately think that I was the alpha of the group. Ambition. I’m thinking about of a good story. these are just some of the things. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. LLC. easy going and ambitious.
Again.com What’s the funniest moment I’ve had? . What’s the most exciting moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most emotional moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most self-defining moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most embarrassing moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most loving moment I’ve had? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it doesn’t it at all. You don’t have to be some wild adventure playboy type. you can tell them that they kind of unplugged or kind of like. 12 ----------------------. it doesn’t have to be extreme. here’s some questions. oh. The best way I found to do this is to start out with just the core elements of your story and then just wing it a couple of times.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. “Ah. we can use these and it’s a great way to kind of feed the process. no.” you know you can tell they’re not interested. 11 ----------------------. maybe you can even exaggerate a little bit to build in. polish and refine it. “Oh man. I want you to make a short list of life experiences that you had.CarlosXuma. What do you mean by winging the story? Try it on your friends.com thought so. I want to try this story out on you. You can tell the other parts whether they’re like excited or on the edge of their seat for more.Page 56----------------------www.” And then again. Ask yourself. LLC. there’s so many that you’ve had. Then I want you to polish and refine your story as you build it and start to tell.” No. Those are the things you want to find and tweak within the story. You can find quite a bit of life experiences that you can play up. I guarantee you’ve got some pretty cool stories. Let me see how it sounds.Page 57----------------------www. “Dude.CarlosXuma. Call up to somebody to work on the stuff with you and say. my life’s boring. Make a short list of life experiences you’ve had. no dude. you’re going to get feedback from people. you’ll just probably think. nothing’s ever happened to me. Here are some exercises that can get you started building some good stories. as you tell it. you don’t have to be Hugh that has done all these great stuff in his life or one of these guys. LLC. don’t think that you’re story has to be an extreme sport story or extreme adventure story.
they’re constructed in a way that appeals to a woman’s psychology and if you’re not studying that sort of thing. It’s . Write down this list of your qualities. things are boring. it was my first job. As a matter of fact. they gave me a job continuing for the rest of the summer by working at the town hall and doing clean-up for the county and things like that.com Again remember. So there are stories about needing more stories. have a lot of activities. this helps you come up with stories too. “Oh. There’s a reason why romance novels are the top selling books by women. The bookstore exercise.Page 58----------------------www. I wasn’t probably much older than the kids I was working on with. 13 ----------------------. it can be very normal but you make it extreme in your own way with your emotional content. I bought a kayak. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. when I got down with the trip. kind of crazy I know. I didn’t have a lot of friends. Make a list of experiences that brought out those qualities in you. So there’re some questions to ask yourself to help you come up with those life experiences that will generate stories. So one of the things I’ve kicked myself in the do was to go on this kayaking trip on the ocean and that was a cool trip. It’s a good way to come up with good stories about yourself. but after that was over with. you’re just basically saying. Not only they brought them out but they tested you. the achiever side of me was an experience that brought out that quality of needing to get stuff done or as I like to call it GSD. I went out and I got them.CarlosXuma. Make a list of experiences that tested those qualities in you. When I didn’t ass to pretty first moved to San Francisco Bay area. I’d just felt like the urge to get things done. “Man. At that point in my life. Go to the bookstore and I want you to pick up a cheesy romance novel. sometimes you run into some point in your life that you’re like. Look at the way the authors describe things. I’ve had had that happen a lot of the times but I think I had it most when I was a kid. So when you talk about things. So there’s a little story there. I need to do some more stuff so that I can have stories to tell other people. get shit done. I was really young. I’ve strapped it to my friend’s roof and drove it home and I was a kayaker for several years. you don’t even have to buy the damn thing. LLC.” Even that’s a story because that makes you kick your ass out the door and start doing some things. I want you to look at the descriptions that they have in those books. And I would just get on the lawn mower and get that stuff done and I’d go running over to the guy to get more things to do. You don’t have to read it.What are some stories that are needing more stories? In other words. I was actually working as a camp counsellor for kids. you can do this in erotica too because it’s very similar in a lot of ways. I’m not doing much of anything. like in my case. I don’t need to learn that. And that is because they use descriptions in there. it doesn’t have to be an extreme. I needed more stories. I want you to look through it.
. Women talk about relationships. it was kind of like the “300” thing. Another exercise. you’re going to hear a lot of emotions described. I want you to start describing things in detail. they talk about how those football players get along with each other. I’m not just telling you this stuff to blow smoke up your ass and come up with lame little exercises for you to do things. Describing things in detail gets you thinking about adjectives. You’re going to immediately understand how they communicate and how you need to start trying to communicate to them. So go get a cheesy romance novel. you don’t have to like it. Women talk to each other in a certain way. thinking about how you’ll describe something. And just the way that green tarnish kind of accents it. that nosepiece there. “Hey. It’s got some really good information on that one. from the movie? If I was going to describe this. that mane thing brush going across the head. you know.” But you do want to reach her on the same wavelength. Listen to how women say things and talk about things with each other. 14 ----------------------. I could describe the facts.the goal I’m going after but I don’t want to learn it. when you hear their conversations. Another exercise. I’m talking to another woman.Page 59----------------------www. it’s got some rust on it. Obviously it was a very small person wearing it. find ways to describe things. it’s like the helmet they used to wear with the brush on top. “You know what? This thing reminds me—I can imagine this as being on my head. LLC. And of course. somebody’s swinging a sword. It’s just as good as that bookstore exercise. buying a romance novel. Go do this one. How they felt about things not how big something was. makes it look more antique. listen to a woman’s conversation. Here’s a little helmet I got when I was in Greece. listen how women talk to each other.” Come on.CarlosXuma. That’s more of a concern to them than anything else. You’ve got this horse’s hair. look at how they describe the things in there. I would describe this as being kind of brass. I can do a lot better than that but you get the idea. how small something was or the facts about it. it’s the perfect way to learn how women think. I © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. they don’t talk about football facts. I could also say. Not exactly the way a woman does because you don’t want her thinking subconsciously. some tarnish. I really mean this one by the way.” See what I’m doing? I’m trying to imbue a little more emotional content and detail. whether it’s in your head or in your journal or wherever you want to do it. I’m not sure why they put that on there but it’s a trip. emotional content. Again. A lot more. you just have to be able to emulate it. and the more that you can relate to that mode of communication the better.com could have pulled this off or find somewhere a dig in the middle of nowhere in Greece. I know a great book to get by the way is My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. They talk about relationships a lot.
bullet points only. once you do this a couple of times. “blah blah blah. 15 ----------------------. I don’t want you getting into a conversation and then somewhere in your head you think. memorize only the order and the important © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. That’s not the point. After you’ve come down with the process of writing down the story of your own. I’m going to talk about that and how you pull it out and how you actually relate it back to the conversation. this is the most important exercise that you can do. It’s really weird. LLC. you’re going to try and match what you memorized. You want to have 2 or 3 good hip-pocket stories that you can pull out at any given moment and talk about something and you need to listen for words in her conversation. I know that I a lot of people would give you advice saying you need to write it down word for word. sit down. Write down a story of your own. because then you’re going to feel like you need to memorize it word for word and that’s going to put you back up in your head. Because you’re going to come up with other stories and you’ll know how to tell them based on having done that before. it’s much better if you just memorized the important points and then kind of extemporaneously and just improvisational come up with other stuff to add to it. that’s what I’ve noticed is that I come up with new things that I remembered suddenly from my childhood and I’m instantly. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . Because the next time you go out and actually tell the story. I’ve got a memorized story that I can use.” there’s no emotion in it.CarlosXuma. Do this for 2 to 3 stories. “Wait a minute. The order of what you want to say and the important details. The meta-skill comes after you do this a couple of times. it’s a better way to relate your story. Bullet points only. they just memorized it? There’s no emotions there. I’ll know how to tell the story based on how I’ve learned to tell a story. Again. The point is to come up with the important things as much as you can and not get caught up in here trying to pull out the memorization.Page 60----------------------www. memorize just the order and some of the details then forget that you actually memorized it. I won’t just become a random stuff. just go out and start telling it.com details.” And you feel obligated to recite it like you’re reading some play or some poem that you memorized. Then forget that you actually memorized it. you’re not going to do that process ever again. you will. Don’t worry.Then you need to write down. I’ve got to relate that word for word because I memorized it so just I would be able to do that. I’ll come back again. I won’t just come up with a starting stuff and then the ending stuff and then I’ll backtrack. There’s a reason why. like I said. You lose a lot of life in it. as I’m recalling it. I don’t want you to do that. I say that because again. Have you ever known somebody that memorized something and they recite it back and they say it really quick and they say. not word for word.
16 ----------------------. New York . like when she was talking about her friend going to go see a shark’s game which is a hockey game. For example. to somebody as I’m recalling it and it a couple of times with a one story comes naturally. say something like. that way you don’t have a lot of stress about telling a big long story and the other person doesn’t have to get bored with you trying to tell the big long story. once you start your story the woman’s not going to stop you and go.. that reminds me of. 17 ----------------------. “as you’re saying that you reminded me. keep them short at first.” I can come up with that one.CarlosXuma. That doesn’t connect with what I was talking © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. “You know. Toronto and I’m thinking of all these areas that relate back to my memory of that story. upstate New York or Canada.. First of all. “Oh. Hockey. how do I actually start telling the story and make seem like it fits into the conversation?” Easy.CarlosXuma. chances are I’m going to immediately go.. she wants to hear your stories so she’s going to immediately go along with it. . LLC.com I will actually know how to relate a story saying it.oductions.” and start your story. “I once.” these are all different ways that would just segue into the story. and this is how you actually bring it into the conversation if you’re worried about.” It doesn’t happen. It’s really weird but if you do of your own and you’ll see what I mean. I want to get your opinion on something. Channel that experience and emotions. wait a minute..” again. naturally. LLC. In other words. that story I have about going to Canada and closing at 1 o’clock. is to start to relive the experience of whatever it is you’re telling.. “Whoa. There’s a lot of stuff that kind of hinted that. I remember hockey from being back in New York.. “Hey Carlos.big on hockey. if a woman mentions anything about Niagara Falls.com about.Page 62----------------------www. You’ll be off the cuff based on your So there is the exercises portion for you and how to start or get started on this. That’s ice.Page 61----------------------www. I was talking to my friend about starting that and I remembered. The shorter the better. Here’s how you actually use stories in your conversation. Believe me. It’ll just come up out of the blue. Feed off of the keyword in something she says that reminds you of your story. it immediately be able to just create stories experiences. The one thing that I can tell you to really. really improve your stories once you start telling them. The shorter the better at first.
channel the experience and the emotions. humor. storytelling in a nutshell. it was a warm summer night and this really nice weather.Like let’s fall back to my story about the Playboy mansion and the hanging out with those chicks. it’s not that hard. you’re going to be doing a lot better than most guys doing conversations with women. to be able to recall those emotions. See you then. I can kind of remember. I was talking to some of their guys. chilling out. There you go. I’m starting to feel the emotions of being there again. they were actually holding a boot camp at the time.CarlosXuma. you’ve got it. . get 2 or 3 stories under your belt and be able to pull them out when you need them and trust me. talking to some of the guys. The hardest part about this is really just finding something to tell a story about and then doing it. And having a few good stories will actually help you feeling like you’ve got ammo to keep going. There’s no secret to this. and Nick Savoy from Love Systems. It will help give life to your story and the enthusiasm when you need it. just hanging out. That helps a lot. you don’t need a whole week long.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. like Brad P.. So feel the story as you’re doing it. So on the next thing that we’re going to talk about. I’m starting to remember this now. Get going. boot camp of storytelling. material. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. some other people were there. I remember there was no wind and I’m remembering that I felt really good that night. You just need to sit down and do it and try it and start working it. How to talk to women is not difficult when you have things to talk about. some of my friends actually showed up there that I had no idea were going to be there. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. That’s it. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. 18 ----------------------. That’s pretty much all you need to know about storytelling. How to make women laugh. 3.Page 63----------------------www.. LLC. There was a couple of friends there that I knew. 2. I had a couple of drinks. You don’t need a lot of clever detail.
com MODULE 5: How To Make Women Laugh I’m a comedian? Well yeah. This is one of the things I have to really be careful explaining because a lot of guys think that you can just learn humor from a book or learn humor by listening to somebody’s explanation of it.Page 64----------------------www. So those are the things I’m going to focus on right now. You laugh because you see what you couldn’t see before and it’s a release of energy. something that you’re trying to figure out and somebody’s tried to explain it to you in a way that finally clicked and you’re like. But the problem is.CarlosXuma.they just kind of pull themselves away from the more humorous side. They got really serious and they covered themselves up with a bunch of serious stuff and they haven’t learned how to let out their inner goofball. LLC. 3. I’ve got to tell you. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. first and foremost. But at the same time. why does it work? First off all. it’s a release to the nervous system. being a funny person runs the fine line of being one of those things that either you have it or don’t. Humor very much falls into the category of art form as opposed to something you can just learn to by rote. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today. At the same time. why does humor mean so much? Or why does it mean so much in conversations when you’re learning how to talk with women? Humor is. I know you’ve never had this experience before but have you ever had a moment of “A-ha” where you just suddenly realized something. everybody really does have it . © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . We’re going to talk about humor right now in this module and how it works. Humor. the different types and the different keys to using it. “Oh.” and literally you laugh. increase it quite a bit and improve it quite a bit. there are a lot of things you can just do really quickly to step-up your humor from whatever level you may be at right now and you know.Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. 1 ----------------------. 2. hopefully you are a little bit.
com If you’ve ever gone to a comedy show. Dr. They just need that release. He has to hunt his food.CarlosXuma. what they’re doing is. you feel kind of laid back and relaxed because you laughed for a while. What else in your life is a release? Sex? That’s why humor is so closely paired in a woman’s mind. Now if we can just do that on a daily basis with out stress. Norman Cousins has actually proved this. .oductions. He had cancer and he put himself on a strict diet of Three Stooges films and comedies and things like that and he laughed himself. he has to think of clever ways to help his family survive. literally laughed his cancer away.com So that’s why humor works. Laughter really is a medicine. that’s more than worth it if you ask me. The reason that women are actually attracted to guys with a sense of humor is because having a good sense of humor means you have an intelligence to see patterns which is actually the next thing. Now. they’ve done studies on this. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. It actually was doing healthy things to him that combated and actually helped him overcome the cancer in his life. So remember. your ability to laugh at things and manage your own stress is a survival trait but it’s also an indication of having advanced pattern recognition. Women feel it as a release. If you listen to what comedians say. Pattern recognition is extremely important and that’s where humor again comes into the mix. That’s why it’s an essential primal mechanism for women. I didn’t see that before. Humor as well as a good orgasm is also a form of a release to her. It’s a primal signal of intelligence. I’ve actually published a few on the blog that they talk about the fact that humor is an evolutionary mechanism. Humor is also a primal signal of intelligence. 1 ----------------------. but he did it in such a way that he proved that having a positive comedic having humor in his life at that point was the most essential thing because it stimulated his immune system. LLC.Page 65----------------------www. 2 ----------------------. When you get out of that show. the same thing is true. this isn’t something that every guy out there would do. “Oh. humor is a release. they’re just seeing patterns of things and relating them back to you in a way that you go. humor ends up something as being of a release. Think of what advanced pattern recognition could mean to some caveman somewhere who’s trying to survive in a very chaotic and uncontrollable world where he has to fight for his food. LLC.CarlosXuma.” Right? That’s pretty much it. it has that same element to it.Page 66----------------------www.
“Oh. what do you think of him?” (and it could be ANY guy) © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. 3 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. Because using cocky-funny can often make you look a little bit arrogant. Cocky and funny.” OK? So keep that in mind. this is one thing that most of gurus out there don’t talk about. It’s like a module of humor that anybody can take and reuse and get the benefit of. right? All you’ve got to do is learn a few lines from a joke I read somewhere whether it’s on the playboy advisor or some tasteless joke book somewhere. if you know that you’re a little bit more attractive than maybe some of the other guys out there. instant transfusion of humor.I also have a theory that humor is important because humor shows that a guy can manage the stress level in his life but also he cannot take things too seriously. But there’s also a kind you want to be careful about using. you just want me for my body. the different types of humor. You don’t want to tell too many jokes.com Almost every woman would say. Be careful and beware of this. In other words. maybe other women. but now not me. If you’re considerably attractive in any way and you know what? I hate to say this but most guys are. LLC. Jokes are a good form of humor because they allow you to memorize a pattern of humor and relate it again. You’re going to recognize when these types of humor being one that you can grab hold on to and leverage. So that’s one of the things I believe. “Oh well. maybe you’re a 7 or an 8 or a 9 or a 10 on a scale. right? It sounds like he’s joking about something and it suddenly got that ring of truth to it with the woman’s going. I have to say that when you ask women. he’s cute. they’re a little bit wrapped too tight but a guy that can have a good sense of humor about things is going to have a lower threshold of blowing his stack when the time comes. Guys who take things too seriously tend to be strung too tight. especially when you’re talking with women because it’s the most effective form of humor that women respond the most to and gets you the most results in terms of building attraction and connection. pretty obvious for me. “Oh. This is important too because you’re going to find in here some strengths of your own. This one’s really important especially in dating. “Oh. they’ll make jokes about.” And that sounds stuck up coming from a guy who actually is attractive. you know. manage the stressful things in life. right? It’s the one I think most guys fall into. I can start teasing and can be . You don’t want to overwork it. humor.Page 67----------------------www. Really important there again. beware. I retell that joke. and you should. Teasing. he can manage stress. Beware though. a lot of guys don’t know that but they use cocky-funny.” But the guys that stand out a little bit. Now. Jokes.
One of my favorite comedians is Eddie Izzard and his humor is. There are some comedians. LLC. He’s funny. or however that French sounding thing is. Somebody like Dane Cook. I wasn’t trying to be . I just had to ask like this dork. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Sarcasm is also a form of humor. He’s angry. you’re just kind of taking down all the barriers around you. it comes from a little bit of anger.” That’s funny because that has a dual meaning. It’s the goofy-silly.” But that’s where a lot of humor comes from. you just forgot how to use it. letting your personality float man. The girls would just love it. You know. I used to do this when I was a kid and I would keep my cousin in stitches this goofy character I used to call. a goofball. I’m not saying that he’s not funny but he’s got that angry edge to him and you get that feeling of. “He said ‘blow. Another is my personal favorite. There’s also the sexual double entendre.Page 68----------------------www. that’s why I liked hanging out with my cousin. right? Those can be funny and you should use those in conversations. she blew it. “Wow man. It’s just fun. But they’re a great form of humor too. all the protection mechanisms really that try and keep you shielded away from somebody so they can’t see the real you and you’re just letting yourself be a total dork. 4 ----------------------.com It’s the kind of thing that. “Oh. that guy’s like.” Let me give you an example of the exact opposite of this. “Wow. the double entendre is when you say something that has dual meaning. I think it’s a distinctly different energy. It also communicates bad things about you in some ways. but he’s angry. “His name was George. Butthead would always laugh. you’re like. so goofy. when you listen to them. so fun. probably the perfect form of humor because it’s so laid back. you’re poking a little fun. And I would just do these goofy faces and I would be this total dork I didn’t have anything to memorize. and you have to know how to not overuse them to have a good effect with them. that you can’t take offense at it.different from cocky-funny by the way because teasing is a slightly different energy. So teasing of course can also be funny and should be funny if it’s doing anything else but teasing. Her friends would love it.CarlosXuma. Unfortunately though. they think it was hysterical because I was just kind of being goofy. they would eat it up. It’s like you’ve got an acidic aftertaste that you’ve got this bitter edge to you. You have to know when to use them. He’s pissed. You are using an energy that you used to use when you were a kid. This is where you are just plain. it’s dark.’” Where you say something. I’ll put a little asterisk on this. And he’s the exact opposite of sarcastic humor. whoo. All the stupid defense mechanisms.” he was kind of little bit slow but he was kind of funny. It’s coming from a much more confident frame. so casual. it was in Beavis and Butthead. My cousin had some really cute friends. I just think to be.
” You know he used to joke about that but timing within humor is very important because when you pause. So you’re going to have to smile to compensate for that. a lot of guys tend to fall into this category.” You know. If you don’t get a laugh during your joke. You’ve got to know how to use it. it took me a while to catch on to being a comedian because they say that comedy is all about timing. First of all. Don’t laugh at yourself. you make a little face at her. And of course there are other types but these are some of the primary types of humor that you’re going to use. Sarcasm. kind of like. If you’re too serious. Humor is tension. he said.Page 69----------------------www. not like a goofy. after you told a joke to go. If you know when to not say something. In other words. “Come on. And you’re going to find it.” Pausing will give weight and meaning to anything that you’re saying and it works especially good in jokes. You’re not looking self-amused. I would advice that you would take some of the angry edge off of it and you can still make it fun. the more tension you had before it the more laughs after it. And it’s that ability to be vulnerable. you look like you’re just clueless. when the punchline comes. Steve Martin used to have a joke of his own. I think that goofy-silly really translates to vulnerability on a funny level.com that you just met doesn’t know how to calibrate to you yet. And you’ve got to know how to really build up tension and ride it a little bit because remember.” you know. wait for it. “I talk fast. LLC. but kind of have a little bit of a smirk. humor is tension release. “And then the farmer said. whenever it may . It was like letting them see a part of you that they know is there and most guys are hiding but they want to see. Pausing at the right time. Teasing same thing. that looks stupid. Knowing when to just stop for a second. Jokes. They have to be. you run the risk of her reacting to what you’re saying before she’s had the chance to be let in on the joke. She doesn’t know how to read you. Timing is really important. smile when you’re delivering this stuff. “Ha ha. Also.CarlosXuma. I drew your attention for a second and then I finished what I said. they just like usin g jokes. Practice your timing. you know I’m joking. Did you see what I just did there? I just paused.somebody I wasn’t because I was kind of goofy but they loved it. The woma n © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I would have to be guilty. Here’re some advice on teasing. You let her in on the joke a little bit by going. This is really important. one of these is going to be the one that you will fall into more than another. Don’t be the first one. you can give weight and meaning to things. So don’t be the first person to laugh at your jokes. you look stupid because you look like you’re just. don’t laugh at your own jokes. probably the most guilty of not pausing very much. right?” You’ve got to let her in on it. 5 ----------------------. “You know.
” They know how to pace they know how to throw the humor at you and control burst. you’re kind of like. This is important. not getting a laugh is often a good thing because the next joke you tell. go back to improvisation class. As a matter of fact. start the conversation with humor but don’t go too far. OK? Do you have any jokes?” You know you can have fun with the moment of having fun with yourself. It really gets uncomfortable because there’s nothing really funny in there. you can just make a self-deprecating remark like. And then think about the mistakes you’ve seen in certain comedies. remember that humor is simply not an essential element of every single conversation. But again. He would do anything for a laugh. not too much. 6 ----------------------. “Oh. How could I be so stupid?” I think of the ultimate example of this self-deprecating thing is being Chris Farley. When you watch a comedy. that was a dramatic portion of the movie and it was meant to be that way. Humor is meant to spice things up and then you delicately throw it in along the way. “Note to self. Funny movies are not funny all the way through would literally be like. really. make a self-deprecating remark of some kind. LLC. “Oh man. First of all. It’s good to have a light hearted air about you and I think I talked about that in another section of this program. You have to know how and when to throw humor in. even when he trashes the car. They know when to throw something a little funny and then they know how to top it off with something that’s super funny. He went to the extreme. go easy on it. that’s so stupid. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . they really will and as long as it’s not a lame one. He’d slap himself around.CarlosXuma. this is sickening. So it just basically spices things up and then you delicately throw it in along the way. I’ve a break man. I think it’s a great movie. right? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “OK. You don’t have to be super-humorous funny guy. Think about because you got to take themselves. don’t say. funny movies are a great way to hone that skill. So again.Page 70----------------------www. how they constructively use that. you know when he used to do that thing when he’s like. you’ll do fine. It’s not essential though that you’re riproaring Seinfeld comedian.” He used to hit himself on the head. I’m such an idiot. they’re going to want to laugh at.com If you don’t get a laugh.be. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Jokes. funny movies. I love that movie but one of the mistakes was that serious moment there where Cameron is getting pissed off at her dad’s car. I just think they dragged it out too long without kind of figuring out the pacing of it. It’s just like seasoning your cooking. One that comes to mind is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. 20 minutes in and you’d be. OK? Think about that. When it comes to jokes. it’s a little bit of a nervous laugh but that whole section is not very funny.
I went too far. And one of them is dealing with the bitchy women one with no sense of humor. 8 ----------------------. you’ve got to slap my wrist because otherwise I can’t go on with the conversation. slap my wrist. think of what being with this woman for more than just a night would mean. Assume a woman is cool but again. If the woman that you’re talking to takes something you say offensively and then won’t let it go or acts bitchy or just can’t seem to get past it. there’s a certain price you don’t have to pay to get a woman. I burned myself. LLC. the women to be around. foul sense of humor but I make sure that I ease people into it because if I jump right in quickly. I wrote one and it was really pretty offensive because I put something in it that said the rule about a guy eventually becoming tired of sleeping with a woman he’s with and I put that in an e-mail. So if she doesn’t get over it. No. I’m sorry. I have an extremely raunchy. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. the one that are too that just don’t plain get it and aren’t very fun of pretentious diva women around these days. That’s my motto. I’ll see you later.com Be way over the top so that she knows that you’re joking initially. So you’ve got to ease your way with people. they will savvy to your sense of humor.” You have fun with that moment. just apologize in a good natured way. and you think you might have made a mistake.” and I’m thinking to myself.” And I was like. she was really cute and I was sending out e-mails at the time I was writing my own rants. Calibration. 7 ----------------------. “Well. I can really burn some bridges.oductions. And for them. “OK. apologize and then move on. “Is he joking?” She doesn’t know if you’re joking.Page 71----------------------www. If she doesn’t get over it. Slap my wrist please. LLC. “Whoa. I turn some women off. The structured. Honestly.” First. “You know it was nice meeting you at the party and everything but I don’t think we’re quite a match. crude. I have been very guilty at times of using sexual humor and using risqué humor a little too early in the conversation and as a result.Page 72----------------------www. Just say something like. So give her time to figure you out a little bit before you start tricking things up a little bit. I remember distinctly actually. Here. I forgot that I put it in there but it definitely pissed her off because she sent an e-mail back later that day saying. I shouldn’t be including her on that e-mail list but I got the idea. get rid of her.com If a woman responds negatively to your humor whatever it may be. so you have to be a little over the top. eventually. get rid that are out there. maybe tease or used cocky-funny. It takes time for her to understand when you were actually joking and when you’re not.CarlosXuma. ease your way into humor. Alright? So a lot you’ve got to watch out of her.CarlosXuma. be fore . kind of like Dennis Miller does his rants. OK? This is where some guys are in the foul because they kind of deadpan a little bit and it also becomes like. I met this one gal.
and there’s a joke that I had. I’m not going to be a total needy little wuss as soon as I get in with you. borrow as much humor as you like. Everything’s cool. There was a time when I was pretty serious with women. Why? It’s because he’s trying to control the humor.” It’s a little joke. I think that’s perfectly acceptable.you start busting her balls. “I’m cool and laid back. they’ve got to get something done. That’s why guys are so serious. What it’s about is showing a light-heartedness about your approach to life. gut bursting laugh with you or anything like that. A kind of. steal as much as you like. I heard this guy talking about Bill Clinton. I heard this guy talking about Bill Clinton once. “I am not here. Whereas if he goes with it and he jokes with them and goes along with them. “OK. “He’s not here. I learned this myself back in high school. I stole that from a comedian. So there you go from what I talked about before.CarlosXuma.” he’s trying to stop humor. LLC.” and you’d be like. but seriously. I’m just re-relating it in a way that lets her have another laugh at it. “OK. I’m not saying that this is my joke. that’s just the way it is. they will stop all that much sooner. I want to reemphasize that humor as an element of conversation with women can be very.com Because a serious personality is a serious bummer for most women. 9 ----------------------. He’s going to want to jump in bed too soon. “You know. I’m not going to take all the credit for it. where I say basically.” I’m giving a bit of credit. “You know I heard this guy talking about Bill Clinton and he said. he’s obviously a total stiff about it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. he’s the guy that people keep going on and on and on and ragging on and they won’t stop. Have everyone knows how Bill Clinton could make you like him with his charm. I’m going to be honest with you. I can poke a little fun in stuff. OK.” You know. “Oh boy. I thought it was pretty funny and the way I preface it is with. And I think that it’s actually essential if you’re learning how to build up your own sense of humor. make you go along with anything?” And you can hear him go. They didn’t like it at all. I would always get really serious and they didn’t dig it. Take as much as you like. . That’s what she’s looking at. And I figured out why. it doesn’t have to be original. very lightly sprinkled in and still have a lot of effect.” Because it’s that seriousness that tells a woman that.Page 73----------------------www. it’s because she knew that I was being so serious because I felt like I had an agenda. your lightheartedness and translating into your personality. seriously but. it’s like a person and you’re in a group and they’re making fun of the guy and he’s like. this guy is going to be like calling me every night. There’s actually this great example where I talk about this thing. And as I like to say.” She sees a lot of things and she interprets a lot of things from seriousness that guys just don’t understand. It’s not that you’re making her bust out. She’s taking your level of humor that you’re throwing in. He’s going to want to pin me down in a relationship before I’m ready. right? But that’s from a comedian.
the stuff I’m going to buy in here is top secret. I used a word that rhymed with it. I’ve got actually to share with you. It’s just the way it works. by obviously joking about a situation that doesn’t exist. Oh.” instead of “Tubbs. it doesn’t take much.com Here are some examples of humor that you’re going to use. The first context or frame you said is that she’s already your girlfriend and you’re already breaking up with her. “Your mom’s eaten by a shark? That’s horrible. You just open up a door and barely do anything and she’ll laugh anyways. “She was eaten by a shark.” Have fun. OK? So you say something like. “Oh my God.” And somebody made a joke about us being like the characters on Miami Vice and then one guy . Over-interpret or misinterpret.” and I’ve re-interpreted it as.CarlosXuma. I’ll go along with them on it. There you go. Have fun with it. Some examples here. alright? Is that fair?” So what am I doing? I’m having fun with her by joking about a situation that hasn’t even come up yet and again she learns that I’m light-hearted about . So when it comes to making a woman laugh.” right the other guy? And they thought that was hysterical that I finally joked about that because obviously I didn’t have a butt. “You know what? This is stupid. I was this little skinny kid so I didn’t really have a butt and for the longest time it bugged me that they would do this and I was just being like. 10 ----------------------.” See what I did? I purposely misunderstood her. The next thing’s you’re going to be looking at my shopping list. “She works at the park. you get the Yugo. I can’t believe you’re like hitting on me in the grocery store. “OK. It doesn’t have to be cracking up or side splitting humor. I’ll take the house and the kids.” Have fun.He said this joke that I had no ass. This is where you joke about things by pushing the timeline a little bit. don’t go crazy. I had no butt. I’m not going to show you this. Another mistake in interpretation. You see what happened there? I totally deflated and there was a stress relief and everybody thought it was hysterical and funny and they never bothered me about that again because they realized that I finally got the joke. “Yeah. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. There’s a mistake in the interpretation. it just have to be a light-hearted sense of having fun in the moment. your lesson in humor. you know I really. she’s looking for reasons to laugh in the conversation. I wouldn’t go along with that and try to stop them from joking about it and then one night.Page 74----------------------www. she works at the park. I want a divorce. You should’ve said that first man. I’m Butts. I just kind of laid back and I just realized. Mistake in interpretation is something like. There’s fast forward humor. go to an improv class is one of the exercises. Like women you first meet this stuff works great. That’s it.my friend . LLC.said that he was Crockett and I looked at him and said. pick-up a few books.
if you want to stand by me like this.” and I’ll put my arm around her and then she’ll go along with it because she wants to go along with the joke. I star in one movie. OK? This is good stuff. “Oh. Pretending. Pretty cool. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Here’s another one. Here’s a good one. but now you . you’re not going to try and get me drunk and dance topless again. You probably heard this a hundred times but it’s really a great way because it communicates in so many different levels that she is women are in a social environment because they want to meet people. you take that away from her and she has to earn it back now. A guy dancing topless. Let’s go to exaggeration humor. And there you get a little bit of a physical contact. she’s not quite as cute as you but you know what? She’s got a hook up at the cinema. but making it fun. did I say that? That has so never happened to me before. She’s got to earn her way back to being a cool chick again so that she can get back to the level where she was before. I’ve never done that. She’s now been put in this little corner of being a bratty sister. are you? No way. this is a classic by the way. I’ll use this as a license to get more physical with her because what did I just say at the end there? “OK. Can I just give you an autograph and you’ll go away?” Here’s another one. “I’m really famous. needy guy if I’m joking like this. OK? So she does make a small mistake of some kind.the whole topic and probably not the clingy. for tonight. what’s his name.” talk to her as if she’s your bratty little sister. “You know.CarlosXuma. we’re just not working out but for tonight I’ll do my husbandly duty and I’ll pretend. I think we need to see a marriage counselor. at the theatre so I get all my movies for free.com Here’s put up on humor. you’re back again? Look. “You know. I love this one. I’m having a little fun with the whole change in role reversals. earn one little Oscar and every woman on the planet wants to get with me.Page 75----------------------www. “You know. LLC. huh? Role reversal humor. This is humor like. you’re a diva or some kind of movie star. And say something like. Oops. 11 ----------------------. because they want to accepted. Here’s an example. “Oh God. you might have to pay me some royalties. And by framing her in this context. This is where you joke about her trying to pick you up. What do you got to offer?” See what I got there? A little bit of qualification I built into that one. Gees. “Oh my God. This stuff is really good. I will do my husbandly duty and I will pretend. you’ve got to really play up the overplaying element so she doesn’t think that you’re serious. You exaggerate things like.” You’re playing up the whole. that’s it? Now you want me to forgive you for having an affair with that movie star. kind of like you’re a girl.” She does something small that’s wrong. A very simple thing that they desire. “Oh my God. ha ha ha. they want to be acceptable and attractive to guys and other women.” See. I’ve already got a sister. big deal.” And I’ll put my arm around her on this one. I will make you look good though so it’s worth it.
The mistake in the interpretation. she’s just saying something and throwing it out there © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you throw that one at her. So you make a joke about that and you jack up the energy. “You’re funny. I’ll give you an example here. You’ve got to have fun with her and poke the drama button a little bit.com but now. you’re overplaying.” and now you say something back like. She’s late for whatever reason. The fast forward where you actually assume some future role and then you translate back. So let’s say a woman compliments you. so watch for that. It’s actually a form of teasing too. Six good examples of different kinds of humor that you can use.CarlosXuma. where she’ll say something nice or she’ll try and say something nice about you and you turn it around and you jack up the energy. LLC. when she compliments you. this one’s a little more complicated but it’s a big payoff when you realize how to use it. So that’s why this one works really good. I do want to give you a few warnings. but she compliments you in kind of a lame way which is a lot of women do. it was kind of like a little joke in itself. take whatever she says and make a mistake out of it on purpose. What you’re trying to do is one up her in terms of the energy of what’s going on. . She says something like. so there.” This is like an example of her coming or showing up late at something. 12 ----------------------. So there are some examples. where you take on a female point of view about something and joke about her with it. Exaggeration humor. OK. And then the compliment return. Don’t make fun of yourself too much because it comes across as being kind of insecure. Put upon humor. “Oh sure. you’ve got to take what she says and turn it to your own humorous little edge and own demented meaning. I gave you some examples. You have to go over the top to kind of create the frame on this one.disrespect me too. take something to the extreme. Role reversal humor.Page 76----------------------www. you’re over dramaticizing her little compliment which really wasn’t a compliment at all. where she’s your little bratty sister and she is so annoying you. you think you could just flatter me and I would jump in bed with you? Please stop.” OK? You’re playing it up. it’s so embarrassing and now I’m getting a little teary. Let’s go to the compliment returns. Don’t poke too much fun at yourself when you’re using humor.
you’ll tell a joke then she’ll tell a joke and we’ll see who has the best joke. line for line. Watch improv. And then tell that joke to three different people. you don’t want to retell the joke again because that starts to get a bit old and they’re going to be like. Here’s some exercises I want you to do. it was funny and all. And inevitably. Watch shows like What’s My Line? They are incredible. joke off .” Isn’t that weird? Commit to choosing one and then don’t read anymore jokes. I’ll read a bunch of great jokes and then I’ll walk away and I’ll be like. “What?” and say. I’ll look up a joke site. OK? That’s it. “Hey. there’s this guy and he walks into a bar. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. Because what’ll happen.com Take an improve class. “No. maximum per night.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. “I don’t remember any of those jokes. you’re with a group of people and then maybe you’re with this chick and then you and her go to another group or you and your wingman and one other girl is there go to another group. you’re just going to be even if they don’t get pissed. Read a joke book and then choose to commit one joke to memory. religion or race until you’re really comfortable with the people you’re with. I’ll tell a joke. And avoid the land mine of all humor situations which is: don’t joke about politics. Get your minds out of the gutter. you’ll probably have it down fairly good. LLC.” And they’ll sense that so be careful about that.Page 77----------------------www. you’ll get caught reading the joke book and then you won’t stop and then you’ll be like. 14 ----------------------. one classical. “Hey. tell one joke. “OK. I heard this the other time. avoiding those dark things. “OK. someone’s going to get pissed. OK? And you know that they’re really cool but inevitably. OK? Unless you’re getting into a joke off contest of some kind and that’s actually another fun thing to do is to say.” You might get away with it once but twice is going to be a little tough so watch out for doing that. it didn’t offend me but it was inappropriate. 13 ----------------------. you guys want a joke off?” And they’ll look at you and like. one of those jokes. you’re going to be showing a callous disregard for social norms by doing this. Also.” you know. They will just look at you and like. “I don’t remember any of them.com Don’t repeat a joke that you’ve told in a group you’re in.” That’s a great way of leading in to tell jokes in a conversation. OK? So that’s how you get a joke into your memory and using it. in other words.” It always happens. Guys who have . LLC. no. By the time you get done telling that to three people. you’ll see what these guys do with just off the cuff stuff they invent in the spur of the moment and it will totall y inspire you to try and reach beyond yourself to be a little bit more funny.Page 78----------------------www. I can’t recommend this enough.CarlosXuma.CarlosXuma.
com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. Watch their timing. It’s not funny. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. where you see that the comedians know how to pause for a second and look and they work that moment and you see the audience start to giggle and then start to become funnier and funnier and funnier. we’re going to talk about some specific tools to use in your conversation and I’m also going to get into the phone conversation as well as electronic and texting conversations with women. You want to understand how to work the moment. . Some good TV shows have this by the way. next module coming up. So see you in the next module. you can’t just deny and say.done this have understood what an important step this is. but. Not only you were just learning how to be more funny and things like that but relating to and talking to women on a relaxed basis because they teach you how to think in a different way and improv.” but the “Yes. LLC. 15 ----------------------. Alright. material.. There’s four good exercises for you to do and you should do them because you will learn from them and you will learn more about how to make women laugh. and.” You have to take whatever they say and then use it and run with it and then have fun with it and be funny with it.” not the “Yes. I don’t like that. “No. And then sit down and watch some good sitcoms to give you an idea of good timing and how to work the moment a little bit. You have to be able to be more freeassociating. no. you have to get out of your head and get more in the moment.. you’re accepting. They’re excellent at doing this kind of thing.” which means that anything that somebody says to you in improv. It’s a very positive frame of mind to be in. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. so watch those kinds of shows where there’s a moment like that where there’s just a silence where everybody kind of like works the moment or maybe some slapstick. and. you’ll learn an awful lot. they call the “Yes. 2. not denying anything. And you have to learn things like how to just be.CarlosXuma. Say something else to me. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions.Page 79----------------------www.
Page 80----------------------www. And that’s one of the questions I ask is. look into what she’s wearing and it gives you an idea how you can do a cold read on her as to why she’s wearing certain clothes.com MODULE 6: Conversational Tools I’m going to go specifically into things pretty much any guy can use to make sure that he’s keeping a good conversation going. What is she wearing? What is she not wearing? You know what I mean? Check into what she’s wearing. “So what’s the meaning of it? Because I know you probably spent a lot of time figuring out what you wanted to get. I start conversations with women based on their tattoos than anything else. Why did she choose that? Compliment her on it . in other words. Using her as a source of those things is the penultimate way of making sure you can keep it going.” Like. As a matter of fact. LLC. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.3. when your looking for something to say to her or when you’re trying to keep the conversation going. she thought long and hard about why she chose that tattoo and where she put it and what it means to her.” It should get a whole long story behind that. you need fuel. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. Using her as part of the environment.CarlosXuma. It has meaning to her. 3. you’re going to find out some really deep rapport type stuff with that. Where did you get it? How did you get it? A tattoo is very personal to a woman. So let’s start right out here. you need things to burn and you need things to be able to say during the conversation. Clothes. I call this finding “seeds. A lot of conversation in that. again these may seem specific but you can find any of these things with any woman. “I really like the tattoo. Here’re some things you can watch for. We’re going to go into environment as a factor in your conversations and how to use it. where did you get that done?” And the I ask her right after that. let’s say she’s got a tattoo. 1 ----------------------. 2.
what’s the first question she asks? “What kind? What kind of dog you’ve got?” “Oh. he’s just a pain these days. slap it on my finger or whatever. Jewelry always has a story behind it. sitting on the bridge. I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I’ll let her make a big deal out of it. She chose those. Why she chose that one. toe rings. bam.CarlosXuma. I just reach into the drawer. I mean. This is a really good one.Page 82----------------------www. But somewhere in there you can talk about her shoes. Shoes are important to women. so she’s going to ask questions about that. I’ll say something like. really? Let me check it out because I was actually looking at getting one of these at one point.CarlosXuma. I have a bunch of exclusive photo albums that I keep on my iPhone for every conversation. You know. so use her cellphone. Don’t go too far with the shoes thing because you can seem a little gay and don’t make it the first thing. LLC. she spent time thinking about them. The pictures themselves start conversations like that. OK so that’s what I do. It’s me in a soccer jersey and I’m sitting on the bridge in Venice and it’s quite obvious that it’s not in the US. Rings that she wears.” I’ll pull it up on the phone. And she’ll ask more questions about them and I won’t say a thing about them because I won’t be bragging.” You know.” “Oh. Maybe she’s got a really cool looking purse. pull out a ring. “Oh. “Oh it came with my plan. Bracelets. just shoot the crap about it. there you go. Her cellphone and accessories that she’s carrying with her. You can ask her. LLC. Shoes. 2 ----------------------.” and instantly. Women just don’t wear things for no good reason.and ask her about it. you can use her cellphone as a source of conversation. Necklaces. more instant conversation. me on a bridge in Venice. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “Got any pictures on this? You got any music?” Anything like this that maybe she wants to show you.com You see how invaluable using gadgets and things like these can be? These are props too.Page 81----------------------www. use any kind of accessory she happens to be carrying. anklets. plus as you’re scrolling through pictures on your phone. It does have a little bit of meaning from you but usually not nearly as much as what women have for the meaning. My own cellphone is an iPhone and I keep a bunch of pictures on it. find a way to bridging into the conversation. or . belly button rings. that’s a conversation all in there. guys do. find out why. 1 ----------------------. same thing. Don’t start exploring her phone too much because that’s still personal in a way. let me show you. my dog. you come across ones that you want her to see.com Jewelry.
what © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. a very attractive little Asian girl and she’s playing violin and every so often she’d stop and she’d sing. Pretty cool. Where you look around you and each of you has to find one person that looks like a movie star then you tell the other person which person to look at and you have to guess which movie star you think they look like. LLC. Music that’s playing. whether it’s on the radio or there’s a live band or any music that you happen to be hearing. What you see in the immediate area. sometimes a . Where you are gives you a lot of things to talk about. sounds like gross and disgusting. People. look for the different. if you see somebody acting goofy. look for the not so normal and it will give you stuff to talk about. what kind of foods do you like. it grounds you in the moment. what’s that guy up to?” Use what’s going on around you because what it does. You know.maybe she’s got one of those big purses that you’ll make fun of. Food. things that are around you in the location like in restaurants where the salt and pepper shakers were shaped really weird. What foods her mom made for her when she was a kid? What foods did her grandparents make? These are all great conversations to have. If you’re outside. What foods does she like? Get her on that topic. definitely she wasn’t a what you call a bum in any stretch of the imagination. so that was kind of cool and there I initialized the whole conversation. I was actually at a theatre in Palo Alto in our area of the country here in California and there was this really nice theatre area and there’s a nice restaurant there and we were eating.CarlosXuma. 3 ----------------------. Use those as fuel for conversation. I really can’t emphasize this enough. very interactive. For example. Again. Just look for the odd. the people that around you in the location will give you a lot of conversation.Page 83----------------------www. she was very. What you see. the smells you smell. Where you are is like a primary factor in creating conversation.com celebrity they remind you of. if you’re in a restaurant. this is a good one. Like I used to play this game. huh? You do that one. Again. Props. very much hip to what she was doing and what she was playing. where it’s called the celebrity game. Sometimes it’s just. the smells you smell. sometimes it’s guys that are out in the street playing their violins or those guys that play for money in the street. And there was this girl obviously like a college age girl. Look around you. “Hey. Location. Food is an awesome topic for conversation for you and a woman. or maybe she’s got a tiny little purse that you can make fun of or tease about. use this one. What it is you’re tasting. this is gold. She was obviously making money for school. because it’s very good at one of those present moment exercises that keeps you very. The sights. you nudge her and go.
These are things that are a little bit more out there but you’ve got to find one that works for you. “Ho hum. Use the things that are around you. Number one. It’s a deck of cards and on each card is a goddess from some mythology or something from literature or something like that or history. And I ask her to choose a card from this deck and then we read it. as well as just meeting women. I use them all the time when I was really running. Waiting for the woman to arrive. technically is a form of divination. Number two. After location. You need to use one or both of these. books you’re reading are another excellent thing.” that looks a little needy. not like I’m just sitting there and going. This had to come out at some point. . she has to come and interrupt your world to make your presence known. it can be handwriting analysis. A while back. what you would call a classic pick-up. comes you and your props that you carry with you all the time. Books. it’s reading a person from things that are not overtly visible. Have a magazine with you that you happen to purchase or wanted to read just make sure that it’s not Playboy. 4 ----------------------. Magazines or books are a cool second. I pretty much always want to meet up with a woman who’ll have a paper with me if I’m going to meet her in like a coffee place or it’s a daytime meet-up or maybe a woman I met off of an online ad. called the goddess deck.com Here’re some miscellaneous props. I’ll make sure that I have a paper with me that I’m reading through. Really fun. so again it’s a good prop. I would make sure that I would work that into conversations or even on the first meet-up or the second meet-up or any date that we had. how can you not have fun when she’s playing around with the idea of being a goddess? And that gives you a great opportunity to tease her back down. Divination really means anything where you’re using fortune telling.. LLC. be looking all the time around you. Very important. be caught up out in what is going on between you.Page 84----------------------www. I talked about this one.CarlosXuma. But palm reading and handwriting analysis are the top two. because it makes me look busy when she arrives. It’s a lot of fun and of course. I try and get her to admit whether or not she’s really like that goddess or not based on the qualities. be present and focused on what’s going on at that moment.little bit phallic so I’d make fun of that. Don’t be caught up in your head.. Divination of any kind. Choose a good book that immediately she’s going to be asking questions about what it is you’re reading and how it is and if she’s read it she’s going to start talking about that. because it gives me things to talk about. It can be palm reading. I still have it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. If you’re already engaged in something and she’s not your first priority. Reading tea leaves.
you can tell whether she’s sarcastic or not.CarlosXuma. how. where I would just sit back and it’s a little bit silent and would kind of go. right?” Of course even if you did something. OK? So there you go. It starts the conversation out in a playful and fun zone. you see something cool that you like to carry with you. second of all. maybe I shouldn’t say anything.” And I did this on women and it’s so amazing. starting it off on that attraction and connection vibe. There’re other things you can buy. you can get Bart Bagget’s Handwriting Analysis Deck. first of all. I’ve often done this. no. And that deck by the way is one of the most effective ways of learning it. 1. Handwriting analysis. when you’re in a store. “No. you know what? I’ve got something to say. Again. The handwriting analysis is very. women love it because they never get this done. you don’t have to carry it with you all the time but you do want to maybe bring it with you on a first meet-up with a woman so you have something to talk about. Cold reads of any kind. Do your friends. but you’ve got to promise me that you won’t take offense. I think I know something about you that you don’t typically tell other people. You do it to just a few people. Learn how to do this because they will serve you when you have a break in the conversation or there’s a pause in the conversation. you can still get that online.Palm reading is great because it’s just fun.” And she’s going to be like. basic stuff that you can get online. There’s just a lot of cool stuff like this that you can read off of her handwriting. right? And you just offer to read her hand and then you can make stuff up if you want to but honestly there’s no need to. It’s so easy. you can make up anything you want because women don’t really learn palm reading. you can use it for any number of things. I think personally. This is a much more exclusive skill to develop. 2. Can you think of any better reason for using one of these tools on a woman? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “Look.com For you to filter her out. Number one. So it pays to learn it. “I don’t know.” play the quiet routine and she’s like. Give me a sample of your handwriting and rewrite this phrase down in cursive. LLC. she would still take offense but you’re . tell me. you and your props. You can use it to read her personality. you can use it for teasing. you can totally make some shit up. 5 ----------------------. I’m learning a new skill. I can’t even begin to tell you. very effective and the reason why you want to use it is because it really works. Handwriting analysis. where that line crosses the T and how it goes across can tell a lot about her self-esteem. how accurate it is.” “Alright.Page 85----------------------www. “What?” and you’re going to be like. say. A simple as. 3. There’s literally. 4. how much women love it. using a cold read to kick it back into gear is really good. no. where she crosses her T’s. not in printing and I’ll analyze it for you. is my number one choice now because of what it does for you. “Huh. there’s just so much cool stuff to do at palm reading. A good friend of mine still sells this online as well. number one prop if I had to choose one. there’s like 5 lines on your hands and if you can memorize those lines.
We interpret things general as being specific to us. it just does. that’s a ton of stuff right there dude. I’m not going to go to cold reads here because that’s not the purpose of this program.Page 86----------------------www. It’s an advanced technique and I would highly recommend that you’d go to one of those programs for more information. I don’t know why. The first thing I associated with. It could’ve been the first thing. OK after the CDs. What kind of music do you like?” OK? All that came from seeing somebody in tie-dye. “It’s a great place. so we’ve exhausted the environment. or the second one. OK now I’m still associating here. you can get those anywhere online. it’s called the Barnum Effect where before your effect it’s the fact the we want to interpret anything that said anything about us that’s vague as being very personal to us. it always makes me think of hippie. the second I saw somebody in tie-dye and looking kind of hippie-ish. I think I also have it in the Alpha Conversation and Persuasion and I also talk about cold reads in the approach programs. not just because I live here because I think of Haight-Ashbury the height of the hippie counter culture of the 60’s or early 70’s too. it sells CDs. “So. It’s a very effective thing to use. I give up some cold reading phrases that you can use with those two. “Oh. So they’re very effective to use. You can keep a conversation going infinitely long if you just learn how this technique works. You can look up. This is how you can get into the mindset of the perpetual conversationalist. music. Then it makes me think of San Francisco. and see how this kind of flows from the same first impression from seeing somebody from the tie-dye. do you think San Francisco has the exclusive rights to the hippiedom?” Or. hey. what do you think? Would you have ever been a hippie?” A question right there. What does tie-dye make you think of? Well. Free association exercise. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. what does it do? It triggers something that you can free associate. Then you look around and you see somebody in tie-dye. makes me think of a hippie. Alright. you see the tiedye. I could’ve thought. I could’ve gone right back to here and still ask the question right off of that. You’re out and you’re sitting there with a woman and you’re out in front of a coffee shop and you’re drinking your coffee and there’s a low in the conversation. “Hey.” see what . I think.CarlosXuma. Then I think of Amoebas because that’s a record store that’s in the Haight that’s also kind of a hippie-ish type of place.com I also do “cold reads” by the way in a couple of my programs. 6 ----------------------. alright? I’m going to give you an example of how it works so you can understand it because it’s really the only way to teach it. It didn’t have to be the eighth or whatever this is seventh thing down the line.not going to say anything that bad and then you use a few cold reads on her. free association. “Ever been to Haight-Ashbury?” Or. LLC. it’s a CD store.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 7 ----------------------- Page 87----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com I’m doing? I’m going down this free-association cliff, finding something I want to grab on to and want to run with from my conversation. It’s that easy. OK so now we’re on this step, I found something that I can pull out from the free-association from the tie-dye I saw, hippie, San Francisco, HaightAshbury to Amoebas to CDs to, “Hey, what music do you like?” She says, “I like U2. I really like the new album of theirs,” and I think, “OK, let’s free associate off of U2.” “Back in the 90’s I had a ticket to go see them but I gave it up because on the same exact date I had a sales conference in Atlanta that I was going to go to and I just gave up the ticket where my girlfriend and I stood in line and I remember we got these awesome tickets because it was a lottery at the time. Got these great tickets to the concert and I had to give mine up to go to this thing.” OK that right there is a good story to tell because it shows my discipline, right? Looking for storytelling elements? Next comes, “You know what? I went to this sales thing and they had this trophy and I’m thinking, I’m here, I’m stuck here, I can’t be to the U2 concert, my girlfriend’s there, I’m here, I’m going to put everything I’ve got into this weekend. I want that trophy because this trophy was given to one person who gets a perfect score on this test. The test he was giving was, you have to memorize all these sales phrases, closing phrases and things like that.” “So I stayed up literally all night learning this thing. And then, I didn’t win it but I learned something about myself in the process. And that was that I would put in the right amount of effort if I was properly motivated and once I did I learned what I was capable of. That’s some important lesson. Then, we went to a titty bar, that’s right, at some point in our weekend, we we’re in Atlanta and we decided to go to an Atlanta titty bar.” “And there was this creepy guy, sitting in the corner, he’s this really big fat guy, he’s got his hands on both legs and basically he’s keeping this one woman with him the whole night. She couldn’t leave because he just kept paying her to stay, this one woman to stay there. And we’re thinking, God, that’s freaking creepy. I mean, can you imagine that?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 8 ----------------------- Page 88----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com See how these little stories that I just pulled out of that one, U2 free association. Do this on paper, test it out at home. Do it on your own. Go on the internet. Go to CNN.com and just randomly you see a story, take that story, don’t
even read the story, just look at the headline and make up your own story to that headline. You’re going to get a really keen sense of how to free associate, how to talk about things, you don’t even have to know something about something, you can just totally make shit up and it works. This is an awesome technique, this is called free association. And I highly encourage you to use it, it’s the most powerful and the most effective exercise for creating conversation for nothing because that’s exactly what you’re doing. Now if you’re finding that this is very difficult in conversation with a woman, chances are, the problem is not that you’re not using the tool correctly, it’s that you’re getting caught back up in your head again and you can’t afford to do that my friend. You’ve got to stay out of your head and in the present moment. Free association forces you to do a little bit of both, you go back in your head a little bit but you’re also in the present moment. The television exercise, here’s another great tool for you to use. Turn on your TV. Turn it on to a random channel, any channel at all. Keep the finger on the mute button on your remote, you wait for something to come along, you don’t have to wait very long, as a matter of fact I highly encourage you to not wait very long. You turn on to some show and you wait for them to say something as a form of a question or maybe even state something and then you hit mute on the TV and I want you to improvise your own response to what they just said. You can either watch the show and try to make your response fit in with the show in some way or you can totally go off on your own. Totally make your own tangent, totally make something that’s pertinent to some, you know, totally different situation. The point here is again, it’s another form of free association but it’s triggered by something that you don’t control and it’s an endless source of fuel for conversation. Just turn on the TV, see something random. OK? I’ll give you an example of this. I’ve got my monitors up here, I’m going to go to CNN.com, I’m going to just pull up one of the headlines and I’ll tell you what it is. Let’s see, “War Is Nothing New.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 9 ----------------------- Page 89----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com War Is Nothing New. OK? What can I do with that? Well, do I have anybody in the family that served in the war? Yeah, my grandfather did, he served in World War II. As a matter of fact, he told me about a time when he, and I do have a story for that. They were at a camp, and I think it was just outside of Germany or maybe just inside Germany and they were eating and then out of nowhere, a tiger tank comes up and into their camp and they all had to scatter. It was a pretty incredible story when he told me about it. There, I just came up with something I just free associated off of that. War is nothing new. Let’s see, war is nothing new. Why do we have to have
war? Why is it we keep coming back and making war on another people? We know intuitively that war is wrong but we keep doing that, why? OK, there I might be getting a bit political, so I’ve got to be careful. Let’s see, there’s a whole ton of other ones here. First Lady Maybe in Healthcare Reform. Wow, that one’s interesting. What do you think about healthcare? Really? Are you getting good healthcare? Do you have a good healthcare program at your work? Again, I just began free associating off of this stuff. 3D Coming Soon to Home TVs. Do you really think you need everything in 3D? I don’t know, 3D gives me a headache sometimes when I go and see movies in the theatre like that. I mean, are we going too far with the whole home theatre thing anyways? Pretty soon, we will never want to leave our house because we’ll be sucked into our television screens. Again, I’m free associating here. Guy Eats Plane, Lands in Record Book. Well, I’m assuming the eating of the plane, means he probably broke it off into small pieces and just ate it bit by bit by bit. I can’t imagine that one actually is begging me right now to click it but I’m not going to because we have a program to do. You see what you can do with this things, you can have a lot of fun. Plus, the story themselves, you can just look up the story, if you remember the story, like later on if I look up this Guy Eats Plane, Lands On Record Book and I talk about it with a woman and I say, “Did you know that there was a guy who ate a freaking plane?” And then I go into the story. Instant story just add CNN. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 10 ----------------------- Page 90----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com There you go, the television exercise though allows you to use random bits of conversation from the television to stimulate your own ability to improvise on the spot. That’s what that exercise is about. Gives you real time, real ability to do it. And you know what? The first couple of times you do it, you’re going to sound lame, you’re going to hesitate, you’re going to, “Uuhh, I don’t know what to say.” UN-mute, keep going, do it again, do it again, do it again, pretty soon you’re going to break through this little blockade, there’s little mental block that we all have inside our heads that stops us from free flowing and having this verbal diarrhea of conversation. And you’ve got to break down that barrier. It’s essential. I frequently have it when I don’t have caffeine in my life. There you go, those are tools you can use. Those alone should help you with any moment of pause you have within a conversation. Now, next up, we’re going to talk about phone conversation and how to handle that. I’ll be back with that in the next module. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 11 ----------------------- Page 91-----------------------
com MODULE 7: Phone Conversations Alright. You want to stay away from daytime hours. First off. material. Phone conversations are really kind of a normal subset of any conversation you have with a woman. 3. most phone conversation is the same as any other conversation with some small tweaks. Needless to say. These are some tools you can use for phone conversations that are pretty much the more exclusive to that situation. Nothing really changes that much with phone conversation. 2. here we go.CarlosXuma. LLC. All I’m going to do. These are the small tweaks. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. 2.www. call women only in evenings or on weekends. Nobody .. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. I’m going to tell you. let’s rock and roll with phone conversations. 3.Page 92----------------------www. the weird times of day that you know that she’s probably at work or it would just be weird to get a call at.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. you want to stay away from early in the morning hours. is I’m going to point out the subtleties that make phone conversations different from being in person with her.CarlosXuma.. 1 ----------------------.
Go to a bookstore. never call on weekend nights unless you call to get her to meet up with you or coming with you to some event or some bar to meet up with you. You start to learn how to deal with the fact that. if she says yes. “No problem. Don’t make a big deal about it. “La la la. Not out there approaching women. You should never appear to be available during primetime hours. Don’t say. Which means you’re not out there meeting new women. I’m telling you that rather than lie and say you’re busy. it’s worth it. You’re not out there meeting new dates. that means you’ve go nothing better to do than think about it. why don’t you actually go out and fucking do something during those times. I’ve got to get going in a few minutes but I just want to touch base with you. So by calling at evenings or weekends. “Cool. Go someplace. Talk to you later. you must be busy. You don’t have a date? Great. I’m not saying lie. End the conversation. LLC. just say. very effective. oh. Make sure that she’s actually free when you call her on the phone. This doesn’t happen that way. you ask her right off the bat. but I can’t call her.CarlosXuma. and the first thing I said is.com Get the hell out of the house but don’t be around during the times when you might be sitting at home thinking of nothing better to do but. Oh. Most pickup artist will just tell you to lie and say you’re busy or whatever it is.” If you have time to think about that. I should be calling her. Jeff. Alright? And then. you’re also showing her that you’ve got other things going on in your life too. It’s an obvious situation but we so often go nuts over it. You drop it.” And that’s it. “When can I call you? What time should I call you?” No. you say. ok.” If you’re in that situation where you’re trying to hold yourself away from calling her. Just get off the phone. You’re just sitting there going. make sure that she’s actually free to talk.” Just let it go. Trust me. hang up.” Very simple. .Page 93----------------------www. you got a second to talk?” And make sure that he’s clear on that. but I was told not to call her. And if she says no or she says no or whatever it is. So I will just sit here and think that I—I should be calling her. This is really important. you got a couple of seconds to talk?” This is what I ask right off the bat. that means you’re not doing anything. because this is a distinction here. Shouldn’t I be calling her? I should be calling her. yes you can do things by yourself in life.gets calls from guys at 10:30 in the morning on a Thursday. “Yeah. I just got off the ph one with a good friend of mine. Go out anyways. It’s a ball that you just don’t need. And you know what? I would say. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “Hey. Go take yourself out to dinner. Go to a movie alone. It’ll just make you look like a wussbag. we’ll talk later. I should be calling her. Drop it. 1 ----------------------. you’re done. I ask all my friends this actually. “Hey. “Oh.
and somewhere at the back of her head. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. “Cool.com Alright. Remember that. If she is distracted in any way. you’re not there. “Doesn’t this guy have nothing better to do than talk to me on the phone?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. You also come across as being needy and suffocating and low value when you do that. is when you are calling for no reason at all. A little bit is OK but not much.CarlosXuma. so after you’ve figured out whether it’s a function call or a connection call. Is this a function call or is this a connection call? Those are the two kinds of phone calls that you’ll have with a woman. Function calls are no longer than 5 minutes. 3 ----------------------.com Here is another important thing.Page 95----------------------www. When you’re on the phone with a woman for more than an hour. It’s just a disembodied voice at the other end of the phone and it’s not really as effective as you think. alright? And I’m saying that because guys will very often get into these long drawn out.CarlosXuma. you know it’s an arrangement type of phone call. end this call. you’re showing that you’ve got nothing better to do. Function is to confirm or arrange logistics of an in person meeting. So just avoid that. those two differentials and what the conversation’s about. Very simple. A function call or a connection call? A function call is where you are coordinating logistics. then you want to make sure the attraction energy is being pulled into here more than rapport. keep to these rules. Whereas a connection call. I’m calling her up to make sure that she’s going to be there at a certain time. Connection calls are a way to keep the spark going. LLC. I’ve got to get going in a few minutes but I just wanted to touch base with you. I’m calling her up to find out something. Don’t talk to busy or distracted people because it’s not fun for either one of you. deep phone conversations that go on for hours. see how you were doing. Women love them too so they won’t hesitate to go along with them but they’re not really making them more attracted to you because you’re not in person with her. very simple rule too. so don’t do it. LLC. 2 ----------------------. You do not need to stay on the phone with somebody’s who’s distracted.” Now you can start your conversation. You don’t want to be on the phone much longer than 15 or 20 minutes at any time. Don’t talk to busy or distracted people.Let me say it again. If it’s a connection call. A phone call is the same as a . just to connect with her. she is wondering.Page 94----------------------www.
how are you doing?” And I’ll go. alright? Very important: If you’re with her and you can keep the conversation going. really zoned in on her. If she says a keyword or a key phrase. they’re emphasis is really strong because they have to communicate their personality without the benefit of an image. No. I’m going to be like. You’re not going to be as relaxed in the conversation either. so use it. really. I tease with her. you’ve got to put more voice emphasis. you get the connection. you’re hoping it was Sean Connery way back in the 80’s when he was the sexiest man alive. “I know you were in your Vogue shoot or maybe it was Elle or maybe it was New Woman Lifestyle or Oprah. You’re not going to tell if there’re things going on that you need to pick up on. you do all the right things. But on the phone. you’ve got to let it be a little bit—it’s got to be a relaxed conversation. Don’t call her when you’re on the subway. alright? Minimize the distractions for yourself because you need to be listening closely with whatever conversation you’re having with her. That one’s self deprecating. you should also be teasing her more about her. don’t call her when you’re in a crowded room. the qualifications there. it’s Carlos.com Start with a teasing energy on the phone call to get her energy up.” Have fun with it. Here is one I use. just take a second. That’s why you do this. As long as things are escalating. “Oh my God. This is the first thing that you should do on a phone call before you get into a connective call of any kind and that is lightly tease her. you’ve got to get her energy . She’ll thank you and you will thank yourself.CarlosXuma. listen to this. That’s what you have to do. was it? Whatever it was. I like having guys do this. Call her from somewhere where you can really pay attention to her. that’s rolling and you get that attraction. There’s only so far you can go on the phone. That’s a good way to start a conversation because it raises her energy back up and reminds her why did she talk to you in the first place.” You know. right? More voice emphasis is needed on the phone. listen to sports announcers. You’re not going to be able to tell if she’s distracted or not. they’re just really. tease her. take a break. “Hey. how are you doing?” then she’s like. I’m not saying to be hyper-attentive. 4 ----------------------.Page 96----------------------www. Look I’m a reasonable substitute. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. You can’t be distracted yourself because then you’re going to miss cues. if you’ll just give me a chance. let’s talk. cool. LLC. it’s going to be tough for you to pick up on it and roll with it as part of the conversation. “Oh. it can only escalate so far. “I know. You’ve got to be more emphatic with your voice. they’re all over the place.” I joke with her.conversation that’s in person. when she does answer. but you have to be very present. go as long as you need to go dude. So minimize the distractions around you. You have to be listening closely. listen how they talk about things. Just do this exercise. only shorter. You can call her and say. I don’t care if you think you’re the dullest guy on the planet.
“So would you like to go?” You make it in form of a statement so that she has to agree with it. Would you like to go on a date with me?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. you just don’t show any of the right qualities that she’s going to be looking for. don’t stay there too long. it won’t bother you. OK? But you put in a certain amount of pause there so it doesn’t seem like her denial is the thing that pushes you off the .” There you go. “Oh. Yeah.not if it’s a function call. Not in a man anyways. “Hey. Don’t even hint at a date. “So. “Oh yeah. LLC. So I ask her. that’s you. you don’t show any intuitiveness. anything that you work out with her. you’ve laid it out for her and you’re more commanding with it and you’re more like. “How’s your day been? Tell me about something you ordered today.” Get into conversation that has meaning for her. it didn’t bother you. any arrangement that you make with her on the phone.” You don’t show any perseverance. I’m going to O’Malley’s bar tonight. first of all stay on the call as if it didn’t bother you because it shouldn’t. “You know what? You’re so cute. The fun guy. you don’t use the word date because date triggers certain thoughts in her head.Page 97----------------------www. this is of course if it’s a connection call . This is really important. I’m not saying you don’t arrange to meet up with her again but you never use the word date like. If she declines for any reason. You know what? I want you to come with. right? OK it better not because you’ve got so many other fish on the line. Number two. whatever it is that you’ve got to do.” I don’t know. I’d like to go on a date with you again soon. I’m going to give up right now.” Alright? So don’t ask for a date. certain domino effect of. Just tell her where you’re going to be and that she should join you. empty out the porta-potty. Stay on the call because if you got right off the phone after she declined your offer. Never ask for a date on the phone or even hint at one. Say something like. I don’t do this on the phone with a woman and you don’t talk about—specifically you don’t say the word date. just so with any conversation you want to get into connection and comfort building with her. That’s what I’m saying here. 5 ----------------------.com You don’t use date. right after you do a little bit of teasing. Be there. watch my sheep. this is that fun guy. you just say. Alright? So again. I’ve got to get back home and whatever. you’re going to look like an awkward social tool because you’re immediately projecting that all you want is to get something from her. you stay on the call as if it didn’t bother you and then maybe 30 seconds to a minute or two later.” Bridge quickly then into connection and comfort. let’s do that. you’ll probably miss out on the opportunity that she wants you to take her up on.CarlosXuma.back up so that she has fun again and remembers. I just want to see you. number one. he wants to do that thing where he pays for my meal and he takes me to a movie and then I have to kiss him on the cheek and not have sex with him.” Not. you’ve got to get going. here’s what you do. you just want to meet up with her and if she declines that. you know what? I’ve got to get going. “You know what? This is going to happen and it should happen with you. “Oh boy.
50% of these women will give you a shot for the next meeting that wouldn’t have if you acted all pissy about her first turndown. if you’re with somebody. sweet and complete. start a conversation with them as her voicemail is playing in your ear.Page 98----------------------www. it’s me. fun. Interrupt yourself to be leaving this message. I can remember that scene so clearly. ready to go. 877-986-2669. Hey. “You know what? It’s me but I’ll call you later. I mean. you call me. promise I’m talking to your voice now. Also. so I was thinking we should get © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. my phone number is 877. I’ll catch you later. Whatever you say. I’m pretending that I am my own voicemail leaving a message on her voicemail. OK? You do not want to be tripping over your tongue. she hears that you’re just leaving the message on a. I’m just leaving a confident little message saying. you’ve reached my voicemail but you know what? I am here right now. yeah. it’s Carlos. I hope you had a good day today and well.” That’s it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. yeah I really like you. it’s Carlos. I had a really good time with you. it’s Carlos. Here’s the one I recommend.com And if you call her again.” That’s one of the one’s I use. Start a conversation. 7 ----------------------. it’s ludicrous man. “Hey.” OK? So you’re already in another conversation. Watch the movie Swingers and see the scene where he does that.CarlosXuma. that’s right. Talk with you. I had such a good time with you the other night and I just wanted to call and say hello and I hope you’re doing good. before you start dialing her number or hitting redial on your phone.” . so I’m going to hang up now. yeah I’ll wait so you can get like a pen. LLC. hey. I’m not telling her what to do. so I’ll check back with you later. OK? Confident. “Hey you. Have a standard voicemail messages that you use. but not with a whole bunch of.CarlosXuma. “Hey. click. wait a minute man. I wouldn’t say on a whim. Bye. “Yeah. at the start of any phone call. “Hey. 6 ----------------------. I mean. if you want to call me though.” I’m not telling her to call me. It messes with her mind but it’s a lot of fun.phone because it makes you seem like a total loser basically. Here’s another one. I know it’s kind of harsh but it’s true. it’s Carlos.com together sometime too.” And here’s another thing. keep talking with them and then the beep goes off in your ear and you’re still talking to your friend and you go. right? OK. ready to roll right off the bat. happy. give me a call. make sure you’ve got a standard voicemail message ready to use. you do not want to be leaving those lame ass messages. the big C.Page 99----------------------www. I guess that’s it. LLC. Short.
Picard’s turned into the Borg and he comes up on the monitor and then Will Riker looks at the screen and then goes. suddenly they flash a to “Bastards!” You know you’re totally sucked oductions. Your message should be no longer than 5 seconds long. That’s what you’re leaving her with. right? OK. Guys do this shit all the time and they just don’t understand that you don’t leave messages like that. the whole story of you and the whole cheerleader thing and the car. she wants the rest of my conversation. You want to give her a cliffhanger or some other kind of leave-them-hanging kind of ending.AUUUUUUGGHHHHHHH! That totally sucks. And I knew they totally cheesed me out on it but I didn’t care. It was the best ending of a season of television I had seen in years. We’ll be coming up with the next module on electronic communication. oh. phone techniques you need to use and do not abuse. It left me so. And it’s pre-thought out so you don’t seem like you’re stumbling over your own words. I’m laughing about this now because I’m laughing on the inside. it’s hysterical. Bait into a cliff hanger. 8 ----------------------. Wait. quick. “AAAAAAH!. “No!!!!!” It was perfect because I was on pins and needles for four months or whatever it was waiting for the part two of that episode.” What am I doing there? I’m baiting her a little bit. when you’re on the phone. “No!!!!!!!!” you know you can hear this like Kirk screaming it at Khan. the next time we talk I’ll tell you about this thing that happened back when I was in high school. It’s a shameless has worked since time immemorial. Remind me. And there’s that one season where they ended.” and then suddenly “To be continued” comes up on the screen and I was like. in. cool. If you’re ending the conversation with her. wait.” She’s on the edge of her seat. I’ll talk to you a little bit later on and we’ll meet up tomorrow. off the phone. So there you go. where Picard has been turned into the Borg—I’m getting totally geeky here guys. Have you at the end of it. not the voicemail. I’ve got to get going. I’ll say something like. She’s got some reason now. you better go with me on this. “Oh you know what? You just reminded me of an awesome story. technique but you know what? It watched a television show. she feels a positive draw like.” That is what you want to do to a woman my friend. be continued? And you’re like. leave it as something to be continued. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr .CarlosXuma. But anyway. they have that super weapon charge that’s going to destroy him and then he looks at him and he goes. wait. “Oh wait. I want to know the end of that—your story. OK this is a situation where you’re actually talking to her. “Fire. alright? Like when I’m talking with her on the phone. fast.Page 100----------------------www. And last but not least. I was watching a whole bunch of old Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns. LLC.com I remember.
9 ----------------------. Because I have a feeling that a lot of guys don’t understand how this works. we’ve got LinkedIn. we’ve got texting which I’m actually leaving a special . Thanks. 2. we have of course Facebook. 2. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.that’s the next one you should go to. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.. First of all.com Module 8 . we’ve got Twitter. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. 3.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. There really wasn’t a whole bunch of electronic communication going on and now it has become something of a necessity that you know how to work this effectively to keep attraction building with a woman. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. So let’s talk about this really quick.. LLC. 3.CarlosXuma. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1.Email and Electronic Communication Just a few quick tips here on e-mail and electronic communication because it’s a whole other kind of communication that we didn’t have prior to the 90’s.CarlosXuma. there are different types of electronic communication are out there. LLC. we’ve got e-mail.Page 101----------------------www.Page 102----------------------www. 1 ----------------------. material.
1 ----------------------. You want her hanging on every second that she doesn’t see something in her inbox from you. alright? I’m just calling it as it is here. Those different types of electronic communication we run into all the time. If you’re doing it just to do it. it’s a little sandbox. So remember those. Again. You don’t get a woman interested in you and hot and bothered and pulling your hand into her crotch by using e-mail. After a while. throw it over there and go. it won’t work. don’t . if at all. I hope she likes me. you have a little fun in them. don’t bother.CarlosXuma. You don’t go into email or Facebook or any of this stuff and talk about feelings that you have for her. but do not compliment her in e-mail unless it totally fits into these overall strategy. You don’t want to be that. just maybe spark a littl e bit of interest. It’s your playground. don’t do it. don’t talk about your feelings. if at all. LLC. that’s where attraction’s made. you use short and sweet. When you do use it. that’s the way. little freaking cop-out. Some people are in chat rooms a lot. unless it really makes sense. Any electronic communication. Up close. Do not send her jokes or chain letters or other bullshit in e-mail or electronic communication. in some cases it does. It just doesn’t happen dude. This is your playground.module that’s the next module. Don’t compliment her in e-mail. It’s a way of kind of weaseling out of the real work of learning how to talk to women in person. that’s where your having fun. you do it in person where you have a real impact. You know what I mean? So we’ve got a bunch of different ways of communicating with people that we’ve never had before and they’re very kind of light and superficial ways of connecting with people but they’re there and people are using them. I highly recommend that you be careful about how you use e-mail or any electronic communication. you treat like it’s your playground. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Use it rarely. face to face.” Do you like me? Yes or no? Pass a note in class. Use them rarely. she’s going to hit the spam button on you and eliminate you from her little electronic life. Don’t be one of these toady jerk dudes that sends her this crap and becomes another spam annoyance. guys think that they can just put a little message in a bottle. that’s the law. that’s how I got laid. especially e-mail. That’s the effect you want to have. that’s the rule. so you need to know how use them too. it’s another cop-out. we’re not going to cover texting here because I think it’s a whole other thing in itself.com Short and sweet. just like you did in kindergarten. “Oh my gosh. Guys love to use e-mail to communicate with women and it’s a cop-out.Page 103----------------------www. do not compliment her and do not send jokes or any of that bullshit communication that you try and pass off as being fun. it’s a cheap. I didn’t get laid in e-mail. Don’t send her pictures of chimpanzees. Do not talk about feelings for her in this little playground. right? Now what do you do if she checks maybe. You don’t want to be flooding her with useless conversation and useless communication.
That’s exactly what it is and that’s how it comes across to her. Spell check everything you send. 3 . I hope that makes sense. With electronic communication. LLC. Spell check everything. you want her thinking. You don’t want her going. it’s built into every computer on the planet these days.com show you off to everybody she knows once you’ve demonstrated your commodity worth purchasing. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. when it’s not there. in public appearances like that. Let me explain that. then it will be there and then the tension release has so much more effect. OK? They’re not going to think that much less of you but it makes you look a little bit foolish. because it’s a really important concept. OK? And that’s how you make her want to tell everybody as you keep it a secret because she’s going to be itching to tell everyone of her girlfriends. that’s creating more tension. “Oh. damn.” Because that is tension release.” Do I need to say anything more? I hope not. She wants discretion. after a while when the time is right. OK? And then. public display of affection? There’s a reason women say they don’t like them upfront.” You want her feeling that. don’t send stuff that’s spelled like a third grader. She’s going to be itching them to © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “Hang in there it’s almost Friday. women tend to be better at spelling than guys are and then they notice when guys are worse than they are. 2 ----------------------. It goes the same thing in person. alright? So don’t ever make it public. you don’t make a play of reaching in and holding hands with her or playing your arm around her and showing this big demonstration of how much of a slut you think she’s going to be. “Wow. it’s there. she wants you to show some element of—do you know the term PDA. for God’s sake. I hope Carlos left me a message or said something to me in e-mail. they love them if you’re the person they want to do it with but most guys make public displays of affection a cheap little way to demonstrate possession and you don’t want to do that. in other words. Use the spell check.CarlosXuma. You want her to feel like—she’s at work and she’s coming back from lunch. “Oh good. LLC. you want her to hit that button on her computer and look up and go. Don’t ever publicly expose your playful or sexual communications. Everything between you and her is a secret until she wants it to be known by everybody. Enough said. delay your responses and certain variable time delays in between your responses to her wherever it may be.Page 104----------------------www.send her pictures of cats hanging from trees that are wet saying. Spell check. if you’re at a table with her or in a bar.” There’s like that little anticipation she has and you want her to get back to her desk. You want her to want there to be a message to be there and then it’s not there. Facebook or Tweet things that will show up on her wall or show up visually to all of her friends that do anything less than show discretion on your part. I’m dying for it.
com And then there’s a gap in there. But the needy guy.com No arrangement of logistics. who’s in control now? And it’s not just about control. When you’re waiting on her that’s . you’re now anticipating her response and until you get it.----------------------. that’s how it works. you do not use this to be your crutch or your easy way out. Don’t be the guy that just sent her an e-mail and now you’re waiting for her for her return e-mail and it’s not coming and you go back in your desk and you’re like. We’re not passing notes in school here.CarlosXuma. It’s a tease tool. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. Face-to-face as much as possible. you did look kind of cute in your little nurse outfit last night. Enough said. the same thing as with phone calls. you sent her back something saying. 4 ----------------------. If she tries to cancel or change plans on you by using it the other way or when she sends you some kind of funky little electronic message whether it’s on your Facebook or your Twitter. don’t make it a big logistic tool. and then you call her or use some other formal communication when you can really get a good feel from her what’s going on. Don’t ever use electronic communication as a crutch to arrange a date or to ask her on a date. Don’t be the last one to respond. You wait in an hour. Then she asks you a question and then you wait and you let attention build and build and build. and you’re the last one to respond and now you’re waiting on her response but if she sends something back to you saying. The last person to respond is the one that controls the energy flow in the interaction. I’m not sure if I should take you at that same place again because you looked a little bit goofy. because you don’t want her to cop-out either. I suppose that’s a good idea. this is true in almost every situation I could think of.” or something like that. he’s going to respond right away and wait and wait and wait and then you’re waiting on her. whatever it is and she uses it as a method to change plans on you. Remember that. Electronic communication is something more than a way to tickle her ear a little bit when you’re not there in her presence. flipped the tables on you.” That was your last response. use it for fun. “Yeah. it’s not about manipulating the other person it’s demonstrating to yourself that you have the self discipline and self control to not fall into that trap. The upper hand in love is really down to this simple concept. you’ve got this attention building up on you that’s making you fall for her first. “Yeah. so no arrangement of logistics. That’s not what it’s there for. So if the last response was from you. That’s right. “Damn. LLC. it’s nothing serious.CarlosXuma. I don’t know. it’s your teasing tool and for fun.Page 105----------------------www.” See what she’s doing. If you’ve got a building romance or relationship on your hands. don’t acknowledge it. I totally pulled that out of my butt.Page 106----------------------www. No communication of serious stuff within electronic communication.
no I’m not going to tell you on the phone. electronic and e-mail communication that’s how you keep talking to women effectively with those. . Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. it’s a “to-be-continued” conversation. no.CarlosXuma. no. 2. right? Making sure we’re keeping it real here guys. material. 5 ----------------------.” now she’s wondering what it is and you can hold it out there as being like a little bit of carrot. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. And as with phone conversations.. OK. remind me. you’ve got to see it first. no. “By the way.Page 107----------------------www.building more affection and attraction from her to you. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. So move on to the next module. In other words. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. you’re making yourself think that she’s more attractive and it’s not working the other way around. 2. “OK? We need to get the others so I can show this to you.” It goes without saying. you really do have to have something to show her. I got to show this great thing I got from the store today. 3.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. LLC. So you can end an e-mail with. texting. 3.. so there you go. make sure you bait with something unfinished that she’s going to want to hear or see or find out from you afterwards. Next stop is texting and that’s going to be our final module in this course. no.
and I’ve got a special bonus today too in this part of the program. when you text women. Spell them out. you’re going to love it. making sure that you’re spelling correctly. all these little acronyms.” As a rule.CarlosXuma. something better to do. as with electronic communications of any kind. that’s what you want to do. of course.com And if she’s calibrating to you. There should be a variation of time in between responses. She’s going to wonder. Every so often. do an instantaneous response but then let it go. guys aren’t really aware of that one and I want you to know about that one first. This is a test: See if she starts to calibrate to you. you’ll draw it higher by waiting for a few minutes or even an hour or even a freaking day to respond. LMTR. . I want you to vary the time with your responses in texting. more so than any other form that you use. LLC. that my friends is an indication of extreme interest in her part.CarlosXuma. if she is one of those texters that shortens everything into LOL. you must do it effectively with texting.Page 108----------------------www. Very important. it’s when you’re in the middle of highest energy in the interaction that you’ll respond the fastest and then as the energy is high. don’t use some of those abbreviations. spell out your text. we’re going to be covering texting here exclusively as the finishing section of the How to Talk to Women Program. you do not want to be the guy that’s immediately responding to every text she sends. You want to avoid predictability. Texting. “Why isn’t he responding? Maybe because he’s got something else to do. let’s talk about some of the key concepts about using texting because it’s a very specialized form of communication with women that you have to know how to use it effectively . First of all. You have to know when to do that. 1 ----------------------.© 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. but even if she shortens things in her texts. Some are OK. anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute. welcome to the last module. avoid predictability. LLC. if she does that and you spell everything out and then when she starts spelling things out than was using little acronyms for. she’s demonstrating that she’s bending into your reality. it’s Carlos. you should be spelling yours out. 1 ----------------------. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.Page 109----------------------www. whatever.com Module 9: How to Text Women Hey.
com As always. Texting is all about bringing up the energy level. it’s called Crystallization. so you text her in the middle of the day and you say. make her more attracted to you. that way you have more choices in the long run. I want to know if you’d like some. right? Text her in the morning. is you’re making yourself more attracted to her? Why would you do that to yourself. very important. Knowing when to do these is another part of the calibration. It’s like coming back to the same place where you met every single time. you’re using it to tease her. I was joking with her about being a lawyer back when we first met and I’m using it again and maybe in a couple of hours she’ll send something saying. It creates a really good bond. See this is the cool thing about texting. it’s important. Using Non-sequitur Humor means. this Non-sequitur Humor. making no serious plans on text. you’re the one who’s suddenly is crystallizing your affections for her.” See how that works? I’m calling back on the fact that I had fun with her. you’re using the kind of humor that— let’s say you two were joking about the fact that she’s a lawyer. text her in the afternoon. do not make date plans. you’re shooting up the wrong alley dude. just went to the aquarium. You’ve got to hear her voice. do not make arrangements in text. “Having shark fin soup. Don’t do that. .CarlosXuma. this calls back on previous conversations you had and you bring it up not all the time but every so often and it creates a consistent level or a consistent connection that you two have. “Hey. the attraction level of energy.” Something like that. you’re not looking to get the rapport in text. You are the last one to respond and then you let her reply to you and that’s where the interaction ends for you. put in a variable time delay in there. whether it’s for five minutes or five hours or five days but you’ve got to be able to control the last response effect. Delay your responses. not the rapport level. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. What you do. you know what I mean? You can totally play on this humor. text her maybe in the morning. talk to her. you can do it anytime and she’s going to wonder what you’re up to.Page 110----------------------www.Vary the time of day that you actually text her. text her in the evening and text her in the middle of the freaking night. if you were the person waiting on her response. if you’re doing that. 2 ----------------------. LLC. The last response effect as described in the last part of the program is that. Tease and definitely use Non-sequitur Humor. saw a bunch of sharks. was thinking of you. Don’t be the last one to respond.
using a little colon with a little dash. “Oh God.Remember my rule.” You know? It’s building up attention.” That’s very good actually. he’s a bit of a questionable guy. don’t text full 160 characters when she’s just sending short messages because that makes you look like a kiss-ass. don’t use a hundred exclamation marks in your message. Vary the time in between. don’t use all capitals.Page 111----------------------www. Text her at the weirdest times. I did ask him if I could use some of his texting materials here and he went along with it and he says it’s OK which is pretty cool on his part. Don’t answer her questions. LLC. I actually talked to some guys are aware of this guy I met in Vegas. So I’m passing along some of these text examples and some of his rules. this is a special part of the program today. You know.com As a matter of fact. crystallizing her attraction for you. Keep your message shorter than hers was. ask her back a question that you want answered. you’re lowering your value in her eyes. “Not sure you want to know about this but why are you asking?” Ask her a question back that denies her the responses that she’s asking for because it’s a form of a test. fantastic text examples and even though I can’t condone his being like the high quality alpha man that I should aspire to be. excellent point. OK? Say. especially the hot chicks when your texting them because remember texting is a teasing mechanism. I hope he texts me back soon. I call this a Turnaround Tactic.“ Relate your text back to something that you know about her. Use a smiley when you want to make sure she knows it’s a tease or it’s all on fun. If she asks you a question. it’s always a tease. “Where are you?” Send her back a question back. with a little parenthesis or something like that. very effective especially in texting. Some examples. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. very. the Dark Secrets or something like that but in it he had some awesome things. He says. Don’t be nice. that’s what we talked about the non-sequiturs and the call-back humor.CarlosXuma. it’s a tease. . Alright. If you comply with her. I can’t endorse his book or his materials because I think they’re a little bit too much of the dark side. It is. don’t always use those shortcuts like ROTL or things like that. “First of all as a rule. But don’t use that too much. 3 ----------------------. “It’s not a fucking conversation. you want her to want that message to be there and then it’s not there because that makes her go. Answer questions with questions. he put out a book called the Dark Side.
“I’m not sure if you’re what I want. very cocky funny. what’s up?” Here’s a good one. “You’re so demanding. I hope you can do better than that. “How much do you miss me?” That’s a great one.” That one’s good because you’re also directing her and guiding her. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you might even be smart too. “I know you want me.Page 112----------------------www. another qualifying too. You’re not my type.” That one is one of my personal favorites.com “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. LLC. you are so into me.” Very good but make sure that you’re not like a super clean cut guy because that’s not going to work at all. I swear he ripped that off from me. I think I like it. stop trying to seduce me.” “Miss me?” “I don’t know if you can handle me.” That’s a great one for a guy to use on a woman. “When can you come over and cook me dinner?” Very directive.” “You’re bad.” Qualification. can you afford me?” “I’m still hotter than you. behave and be cool this time.” Tease.CarlosXuma. Nice try dork.” “You’re just using me. are you always such a pain? This isn’t helping your chances to get with me. “You’re out of practice. I hope you’re rich so you can support me.Here are some of the examples of his text and these are awesome so I want you to use some of these too.” I like that one too. it’s not funny. 4 ----------------------. “You’re naughty.” “Stop thinking about me. “You’re kind of nice but the jury’s out.” That one’s great. . “Wear something cute and sexy. “I think you’re a player. “You need a nice guy not me.” There’s a good one.” Well that one’s good. “Wow.” I like that one. I use that one all the time.” “What’s your real hair color?” “Hey dork. “I’m too much of a bad boy for you.
So those are some awesome text examples and again I had to include those and sent them over to me from. “Do you have what it takes?” “You’ve got to do better than that. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. Really good stuff.” That one’s good. texting in a nutshell. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I really highly encourage you to use those examples that I just gave you there. When you just showed spontaneity. “Drop what you’re doing.Page 113----------------------www. Let’s say that again. LLC..Page 114----------------------www. oh no. So there you go. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. . meet me at blank in ten minutes.” That one’s really good. 5 ----------------------. material.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. LLC. I think he has an e-book or something like that.. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1.com “You can stop by but you have to leave early.CarlosXuma.” That’s good too because that qualifies her and make her seems like she’s not—her teasing isn’t quite as good. “Drop what you’re doing. “You suck. I think you’re going to find yourself much more effective in talking to women. that’s a good one to you.” Good qualification on that one. meet me at—whatever the location—in ten minutes. not many women can handle me.” I like that one.” “You suck.“I don’t put out so easy.” and see what kind of response you’ll get. 6 ----------------------.CarlosXuma.” “Not many people can handle me. just randomly send that to her. use it and use it by these rules. especially for spontaneity. it’s great.
So as a little bit of a review here. we’ve covered—I gave you an overview for the foundations and the key element of talking with women. the flow of how it really should go. LLC. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. and awkward silences are potentially necessary. So don’t work too hard to avoid them. how it should go and we also talked about what to do when you run out of conversation. 3. throw it in and know that you’re not going to do any real damage to the meal by the occasional application of these spices and other things that you’re throw in. the description of the problem and the solution. by overcoming them you prove yourself ten times more than any guy who avoids them. you actually want them in your conversations. These videos though I think are going to help you quite a bit in explaining the overall. you’ve got to really be flexible with it and it’s much better you use things like you’re a chef in a kitchen.2. Storytelling. how it works. The energy flow between you and a woman. that’s what good chefs do. pour it in.Page 115----------------------www. the grounding concept is to know the inner game but the outer game in conversation and how to talk with women. why it works. 1 ----------------------. 2. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. there’s still more content in the program obviously you’ve got the transcriptions and other information I’ve put into it. 3. I gave you some of my secrets here. o r a little bit of garlic. We talked about the flow of conversation. how to start the conversation or your telling part of the conversation and how to use them and exercises.CarlosXuma. how to make women laugh. examples of how it works. so that you can show how to overcome them. taking a little bit of this. the different types of humor. I also talked to you about. how it really works. the critical elements. some . it’s Carlos and I wanted to slip in just a little bit of a last word here for you to complete this program.com Segment 10: Conclusion & Summary Hey. without being too literal. what it is. that it’s just not just a sequential approach-attraction-comfort-seduction type scheme. how to really be more impactful with your conversations and know how it really does work.
it does work. a little bonus in here and that. these are real exercises that really do work and really improve your abilities in talking to women. you can put in information about yourself. if I hear enough from you and other guys that want the same thing. “I hate the telephone. So there you go. I have a bunch of subdomains in this and I used feedback. so let me know so I can create that.” But guess what? There are telephones everywhere. to close off the program. mention that you have this program because that’s really important to me and then I also want you to mention any topic that you want a full module on. 1 ----------------------.Page 116----------------------www. I want to know what you want to know. impact modules like this. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.carlosxuma. what’s easier? Changing to world or changing yourself? That’s right. you’re better off just changing yourself and you’re not compromising yourself here. I just didn’t have the time to do it but .com If you heard something that what I was talking about in this program that you want a full module of the alpha lifestyle program to based on. I’m going to create it and I’m going to make it. Phone conversation. Send me stuff. well that’s nice but guess what it’s here to stay. you want to make sure to take the leverage of the exercises that I’ve given you on this program. 2 ----------------------.Page 117----------------------www.carlosxuma.mornings when not to use humor. it’s necessity. if you get the chance and I really do need your feedback because I’m going to be creating more fast. what you have for questions and what you want. and go to feedback. I did not just throw them in on some bullshit stuff of your to do to keep you busy.com Tools. as well as texting. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. go to feedback. if you say you hate texting. we talked about using your environment. doing the free association exercise and the television exercise. LLC. LLC.com. Then I want you to extend your knowledge of what you learned here into some of my advanced programs because I can’t possibly cover all the fine details of all the stuff in this program.com. go to that location. it’s like saying. just like how to talk to women. we talked about the rules about handling phone conversations with women as well as electronic communication. it goes back to the same saying that I told you about the start of this program. understanding how texting should be handled and used. you’re just the reed that bends and does not break.CarlosXuma.CarlosXuma. I’m going to be covering just about every aspect.carlosxuma. You can deny these realities or you can learn on how to incorporate them.com and yes.
Page 119----------------------- . 3 ----------------------. ok so take a look at innergame. LLC. you’re going to learn conversation skills you can apply in your job. I put a ton of shit in there. a little money out of your wallet just to accommodate this program. Alpha Conversation and Persuasion is pretty much be the end of all program for conversation and talking with not just women. the alpha conversation and persuasion program which is also available at conv. the humor tips that I gave you. LLC. the exercising tools to improve your conversation. of what you need to talk with women. with your friends.com.com don’t put a www in front of it. the bigger tools. And I’ll talk to you again soon back again.carlosxuma. just go to conv.carlosxuma. dude. I mean. I think the tips you’ve learned in here are going to pay you back a thousand fold.CarlosXuma. get lethal with women. influencing people. you view it as if too important and your anxiety and your nerves and your fear get jacked up. your energy. 4 ----------------------. The two programs I highly recommend you to take a look at if you want to really master this if you want to go to you Masters Degree about talking with women. So when you go to feedback. I think that if you get the Ultimate Inner Game and the Alpha Conversation with this program.com. the still concentrated if you will.” Well it’s not really that you don’t know how to talk to women. just the text examples I gave you. texting examples in here are worth the price of admission alone not to mention all you’ve learned on phone conversation. go to that location. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. same with this. it’s a lot of stuff. Ultimate Inner Game is also another program that I encourage guys to go into because it’s a lot of the times that I’ve talked to guys and say. in your family life. dude you’re set. First would be Alpha Conversation. and why does that happen? Inner game. it’s that you’ve got something going on that pulls you back inside your head and makes you anxious and makes it hard for you to deal with a conversation at hand. anybody.carlosxuma. “You don’t have any problems approaching women and I want to get into a conversation that’s when I have a lot of problems. Get out there. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.com. this is Carlos Xuma from carlosxuma. I put all my heart and soul into these programs and I think it shows and I’m very glad that you took your time. the storytelling.Page 118----------------------www. you’re going to be freaking lethal. there’s no www in front of this by the way. no two ways about it. what to do when you run out of conversation.I gave you the essence.com So there you go.com.carlosxuma.
These are pretty much the only tools you’re going to need to really start generating some attraction with women.CarlosXuma. There’s attraction itself. 3. LLC. You start off a conversation that way but very quickly. Now.” Don’t ever try and defeat that. 2.. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. which is the escalation of energy within the conversation and then there’s the form of attraction that is rapport which is creating the connection between you two. she knows you’re there because you’re attracted to her and you’re interested in her and you’re “hitting on her.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew.CarlosXuma. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. material.www. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.Page 120----------------------www. Remember. what’s this guy all about? Why is he here? Why is he talking to me?” Yeah.com BONUS: Banter & Attraction Conversation Alright. “OK. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. 1 ----------------------. if you use too much of your time and you spend too much of it rather trying to get her to laugh or making things funny. it’s obvious. 2. 3. I’m going to give you some of my top banter and conversational tactics that I like to use with women.. a woman’s got to ask that question that’s burning inside her head. there are two sides to connection. it’s always there. There’s always . that’s not going to work for you.
And the real trick to this is that if you cop out to your actual desire. ” If you fall into that particular mode. hit that sexual edge.sexual charge between men and women. “Hitting on you? You do like to rush things. I am hitting on you. you’re going to try and get me to bed and you better not even try honey because this stuff ain’t for free. LLC. and you have to be willing to just sit there in the same space with that weird vibe of. So remember that. let’s just say that a woman that you’re talking to. Next thing you know. right there. I think you’re pretty cool. it really doesn’t matter which way you take that but either way you present it. you cannot prepare for anything.” Or you could say something like. you can never be in the state of. 1 ----------------------. she’s going to realize that you’ve lost your edge. you’ve got to keep going with it until you get what you want or you’ve got to move on. you could say. Most guys when pushed to the point of making an interaction with a woman. much worse than if you did none of the stuff that I teach . © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P . “Uh oh. you’re going to be doing much.Page 121----------------------www. don’t you? You women these days. then you’ve got to roductions. in other words. That’s the one thing that women are watching to see things into a sexual edge woman. and the one thing that if they can. that’s really it and this is the one thing that’s toughest to guys.come on. say it with me .confidence. they will actually release the pressure because they’re uncomfortable with it.com You’ve got to go with it.CarlosXuma.” Now you see there’s two different avenues that I took it down. you are going to screw it up. “So what are you doing? Are you hitting on me?” What do you say to that? Well. That’s the unfortunate thing. you know what? I dig you and I’m going to see how you feel about it. It’s just a simple fact. I’m hitting on you. You can answer the question anyway you like as long as it’s with a noapology kind of attitude. Because when it comes right down to it we cannot prepare you for every single situation and in every single test you’re going to run into. “Yeah. and it is. That’s it. most guys will back off. always got to be in a hurry. That’s what she’s watching for.” and then just sit there with it. Because why? Because if most guys cannot handle. you can’t have a utility belt with a bullet for every situation in it. It’s how you handle at that she’s going to be watching.and it’s just not going to work for you. You’re going to fail. “Hey. you’ve lost your charge. She got me. that it is. if you’re putting or a sexual connotation when you’re with a be willing to ride that out. And if you try to prepare for every single test and every situation you run into. throws the old test at you of. I just got caught. Yea right. you’ve lost your . They’re scared of it because it feels like it’s coming to a critical point or critical decision point. right? She’s looking at either one.
Let me give you another example. As a matter of fact.” You say to her. I just love this song. One of the best strategies I’ve ever used and and memorize and just apply that you’re going to priceless. a song by U2.” This is great because it gets her laughing almost every single time. it is all over my butt cheek. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.com So now. you’re going to take it to the X-treme.” Now you see what I’m doing there? I’m just taking whatever she says and I’m going to the extreme. I had all of the lyrics tattooed at my left butt cheek. I’ve got some for you. 3 ----------------------. let’s get into really good stuff here this is so easy to use really find this to be the techniques and tactics you can use. what are you doing? You’re filling your head up and you’re staying in your head and you’re losing touch with the moment that you’re sitting right inside of with her. X-treme. I can see that your cranium. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. in fact.you have all of those on hand. Whatever a woman says to you. your head is bulging at the seams to contain that brain of yours. “You know what? I love this song too. I love so much. LLC.CarlosXuma. you must be one of those brainy chicks. Let’s say you’re talking to her and you’ve got into the conversation on where she’s going to school. And she says to you. I think of that song.” Now what do you do right here? You take it to the Extreme. you just put the X and the TREME. That’s more important than anything else I can teach you about banter. you must be so smart. I’m smart. This is called the extreme . I mean. “Wow.” And she says. 2 ----------------------. Let’s say she’s going to Pepperdine and you say. I don’t know. There’s a song that comes over the speakers in the bar that you’re in and she says she loves it. “Wow. “Wow. and she’s going to college and she’s going to Pepperdine just outside of L. maybe it’s a. I ain’t so smart.Page 122----------------------www. it’s called the EXTREME. The most ridiculous extreme. In fact. I just love this song so much. you know what? Put it on my butt cheek. yeah. You must be so smart. every time I wipe my butt now. you know what? I hear that it’s a pretty good school.like where they put the X instead of the E in front of it. I was going to have it tattooed on my you-know but that’s just awfully painful so I just said. LLC. What’s your IQ? Like 3 billion? 3 billion thousand? 3 billion 150 billion thousand? Because you can tell.A.Page 123----------------------- . “Yeah. I grew up in a trailer park.
com You take it to the extreme and she’s going to laugh and she’ll also start to get the feeling that she cannot out game you in conversation because there’ s a lot of chicks out there that are very. Oh my .” Or something that she disagrees with you on. left and right. keeping those connections with her are more important to her than anything else. Back in the evolutionary scheme of things. she can meet and date any number of guys that come into her life. OK? Very important concept there. talk. guys come through her life. very savvy to banter and conversation with men and they will challenge you at it and it will become something of a chess game with you. LLC. has more value to her as a friend than he does as a boyfriend. “You know what? You’re right. establishing. you’re going to encounter many more women that are hip to the ways of conversation than you will guys. talk. She just has no need of a guy that’s already proven herself to not have sexual charge. they talk to their friends. 4 ----------------------. right? They talk to each other. She’s approached all the time. Remember. God forbid whatever happened to the man in her life. And this is why there are so many guys that get tooled out of conversations and blown out. they talk on the phone. All they do is talk. This is why women are so reluctant to turn a friend into a boyfriend. this meant that she had a strong social network which meant that she was going to be assured of surviving in case something. Trust me on this. something like.” You look at her and go. So by virtue of that. you know what? I just don’t like that beer.Page 124----------------------www.CarlosXuma. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. but she would always have a network of people that could help her out.www. it is so awful. “Oh. connections to her. Women are so much better at this because it’s what they naturally do. I just don’t even know why they make it so awful. right? And if anything happened. You’re talking about stuff and you bring out the fact that you like that Fat Tire Ale and she says to you. talk.CarlosXuma. right? A guy friend that she has. I hate that stuff. because it’s just her method of establishing a connection with the other person.com Let me give you a last example of taking it to the extreme. they talk. “Oh God. she’d always have support and that ensures her survival. Because literally. Whatever it is that she says. they talk to their mom. a woman’s priority is to maintain and develop the connections with the people that are important to her in her life. It’s because they don’t know how to hang in there and stay in there in the right way. they talk in the bathroom.
which is. “You know. you could take this stuff and fill up a moat around a castle and nobody would cross the moat because they would not want to get anywhere near Fat Tire Ale. I hope you can see how that works for you. not necessarily extreme. It is awful. but the first couple of times you do it. so she’s been running. I guess . and you tell her. you’re guaranteed to have a little fun with it. I call it the “Tag Line” technique.” You make anything you want true because you read it in Cosmo. “I read it in Cosmo. The tag-line is what really makes it kill though. it’s got to be true. it’s what we called “return humor” or what I call a nonsequitur humor. you cannot argue with the big ‘C. I’ve been riding my bike lately everywhere I go and I just found out that riding your bike. I read it in Cosmo. swimming and bicycling all week long. I read it in Cosmo. I read it in Cosmo. you keep coming back to that again and again. 5 ----------------------.com That’s the tag line. “You know what? I just heard that a meteor is going to crash into the moon at 4:37pm tomorrow morning. It’s terrible. maybe she’s training for a triathlon. I’m going to give you an example here of how this works. Don’t overdo it. OK women? It increases your sex drive like ten times. This is going to take a bit of cultivation in terms of timing. As a matter of fact. You could take that stuff and literally embalm the dead with it. you’re talking about exercise.” Anything you say. left and right. Here’s another technique because this one’s very important and meant for punching down and breaking down the walls of the people put around themselves socially. It’s true.” And that can be. whatever you do. taking it to the extreme. Look. Again. right? I’m changing my mind to make her sound a little bit goofy and dumb for it. Take something that she says and make it ridiculous. Right? It becomes the in joke of your conversation. I read it in Cosmo.God. Hey. I mean. The first part is. It’s not like I’m trying to kiss her ass. “You know what? I totally agree with you. ridiculous or not could be validated just by throwing that tag line.Page 125----------------------www. Women are going to try and resist your conversation especially in.’ Come on!” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I read it in Cosmo. LLC. but bring it back when the timing feels right. Here’s another example of a good banter technique. it’s Cosmo. but just kind of dumb-funny and then you add on a little tag line to it. I just can’t believe how horrible this stuff is. Later she’s talking about how she’s so glad she finally bought her iPhone and you look at her and say. especially for women.CarlosXuma.” You see what I’m doing? Again.” OK? See? You just throw that joke right back in. you say. I’m taking it to the extreme and I’m doing it in a way that lets me actually contradict myself and not seem like an idiot. “Look.
you know beer which is kind of low proof 3% or 6% alcohol and then which is a little stronger and then you’ve got liquors and of the ladder you’ve got really strong liquor 100 proof and Well this is the 100 proof and up stuff. Now. “Do you bunch or fold?” And it takes a few seconds before they finally figure out what I’m talking about is toilet paper. OK? What you’re doing is basically “doing shots” with a woman of conversation. how the hell is she going to know who’s worth talking to. The amount of time that it takes her to figure this out is also a test of my own but eventually she looks at you and goes. She starts to. Women are going to resist you because it’s part of their testing process. you didn’t say anything gross. “What?” I go. you just brought up the topic. you can sense when a woman is actually ready for stronger content.you’d call it. You just said.Page 126----------------------www. “Bunch or fold?” Everything else was interpreted inside her mind. higher “proof” conversation. That’s right. I also like to bring up things that are just totally out of the blue. So what you do is.bars and clubs. you’re going to put up a very edgy comment to a woman about something that’s like sexual or just dirty humor. Because it’s a trial by fire to see if you’ve got what it takes to actually breakthrough and make good conversation. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. 6 ----------------------. Once you start to get the vibe of the conversation like. Usually they answer it because they find it so funny in such a gross way but the funny thing was.com One of the ones I love to use whenever I’m out talking to women is. you guessed it . it’s part of the trial. “Oh. about it as being like. So she can’t hold you guilty for it. LLC. Women are going to play around with you . this breakthrough technique is meant to immediately shut down this mechanism as soon as possible. something like that but not in a crude way. I like to think like you’ve got you’ve got wine then at the top up. I’m going to give you an example of this. when you’re early in the conversation. gross! What do you mean?” That’s your answer. It’s her test. or high target rich environments like yeah. they’re going to mess with you. it’s exactly what it is because it’s such a strong and potent . pardon the expression. more high approach. “Do you bunch or fold?” And then she looks at me and goes.CarlosXuma. And I’m serious. fuck with them to find out. not because they’re cruel but because they’ve got so many guys walking up to them and talking to them. they’re going to make it difficult. doing shots.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I happen to be one of them because I use some pretty risqué and strong humor with women and I get away with it because of the way I put it out there. damn that was strong. I think you need to be a Mexican. “I was talking to my ex-girlfriend the other day and she said she had sex on Alcatraz. and you’ll be like. Like. “Don’t tell me but I bet you’re Mexican aren’t you?” And she looks back at you and says. Like guessing what a nationality of a woman is or her occupation. right? So another one might be something like.addition to the conversation. I still get behind it. “Isn’t that funny how cleavage kind of looks like the crack of a butt? Why is that? Why are we attracted to cracks of butts and cleavage?” Here’s another one. you’re just totally into it.CarlosXuma.Page 127----------------------www. One of the stories that he said. I actually use. wait a minute here. I’m Puerto Rican. Like I’ll talk about a friend of mine who has an uncle who worked in an emergency room and he told me some of the things that went on and some of it was pretty funny. his uncle worked in an emergency room. “Yeah. here’s why. This is when. it’s just like you’re doing a shot. and you would be amazed to know just how many vibrator related incidents they get in the emergency room everyday. This is another great one for conversation that you need to use. “You know. and she’s just sitting there and going ooh!-hoo!-wooh! Can you imagine that? Can you imagine how embarrassing would that be?” Now the last technique I’m going to go on with you here is called Pushing Perception. I still back it up. What do you think?” Now that one’s not as edgy as the others. so she’s sitting in the waiting room with the humming noise.” Right? But at the same time it’s invigorating.” And then a tag along to that would be. not that there’s anything wrong with being a Puerto Rican but you’ve got . I make an observation and even if it’s way of or wrong.” Or here’s another one. it really jacks up the energy suddenly. I think baby butts are the funniest looking butts in the world. you’re talking to her and you kind of go. mushy. Can you believe that?” So something like that would be a little more for shock value and you can kind of gauge off of her response. LLC. OK. I have this friend of mine.” and then you kind of go. so let’s say you met a woman. I’ll say to a group of women. You might be one of those guys. “You know. 7 ----------------------.com Here’s another one. “So my friend was saying the other day that he thinks that kissing during sex is either totally pointless or totally necessary. “Wait a minute. “Whoa. “No. You can really get really edgy and some guys can pull this off. there was one gal that was using one that was a little too small for her hu-hoo and lost it inside but the thing was still on. you just want to throw her against the wall or it’s that soft. lovemaking stuff.
hand in your little resignation letter and you need to start becoming a nurse. “Oh. no.that really strong Latina way about you. I could just totally see you on my screen play. Oh you’re Puerto Rican? Oh yeah. I’ve actually eaten at a Puerto Rican restaurant once.” Alright? It’s going to happen from time to time but you know what? It’s easy to get out of. you’re much more impressive when the more you can do something ridiculous even if it’s backing up something that’s clearly wrong. have fun with it and yes. you look like you’re a nurse. I bet you’re a nurse. what do they do when they make a mistake in cold reading a woman? They backtrack and they sound like total freaking idiots.CarlosXuma. You ever thought about that? Wait a minute. no. you go. how many years will it get you through nursing school?” See what I did? I got right behind what I said even though it’s clearly wrong. you would be so good on the silver screen. I’m an accountant. 9 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. I bet you would kill on your own TV show. you’re not Mexican. “No.com . you’ve got to take the nervous little jump off the edge of the pool into the cold water of “I might be offensive. “No. I don’t care how long it takes you. I’m having fun with it. “Oh. OK. it’s more important that I handle it that way © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. And this is actually at the very edge of that we’re trying to play with the fringe energy of trying to be a little bit on the unacceptable. You know what I mean? It’s kind of © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you’re guessing what she does for a living. like almost sitcom Latina. most guys let’s face it.” And then I’ll make a little frame with my fingers. LLC. This is showing your willingness to go out there all on your own. 8 ----------------------. Another example. I’m imagining her inside a movie frame.Page 129----------------------www.Page 128----------------------www. you need to just go in Monday morning.” You know they sound like total idiots when they try and cover up their tracks like that. it’s called Killer Puerto Ricans Who Just Don’t Want To Be Mexicans. so let’s see.” And she’ll say. you’re a nurse. Let me tell you. That’s it. be confident and even back up something that isn’t right. I love Puerto Rico.” And you look at her and kind of go. You’re definitely not an accountant. Come on let’s talk about this. “No. LLC.” Again. wait a minute. Alright. I’m going to be your career counsellor for a while because obvious you’re not just handling this right. No. I have that warm nurturing way about you.com like. we could create a TV show for.
get out of jail free card. Let’s say. Let’s just say you just walked up to a really attractive woman and you say. you make them for yourself. you know what? You can give your analysis all you like.” And the guy looks at her and says. And after that. whatever it may be. it can’t be done later on when you’ve already been working to get a good connection. you freaking moron. you can go no further in terms of turning a person off. “Beat it.” OK. I’m not letting it go. put on a mustache and come out to talk to women and I’ve got to go back and I’m afraid I’m just going to rub Preparation H all over me because I am the biggest asshole.than I do something like. Yes that’s right. this actually happened to somebody and he said. “You know what? You’re right. my name’s Carlos. If you screwed up later on. at a certain point. I mean. I should have you do my taxes. even when you make mistakes. Whatever mistake you may make in a conversation whether it’s offending a woman or whether it’s turning her off. I just turned myself inside out for tonight. “You’re such an asshole. let me shake your hand.” OK. I’ll push . And it’s kind of a closing gambit. Take a look at me. trying to be ridiculous and I’ll keep working it. it’s harder to bounce back from. I don’t know. “Wow that is so cool.CarlosXuma. oh so you must be good at math. you’re an accountant.com And you’ll look at her and go. that is like the ultimate rejection.Page 130----------------------www. I am literally an asshole. 10 ----------------------. I am the biggest asshole you’ll ever see. I am so glad you totally rejected me there. But this return energy that you get is so effective in turning around a bitchy woman especially early on. You just can’t go any further after a certain point. you two ladies look kind of down. LLC. I’m pushing myself down asshole road to let her know that. it all becomes rebound energy. so let’s not go there. I can swallow up this bar. yesterday. “Her best friend. Let me tell you honey. I’m huge. that’s a pretty serious conversational mess up and the woman followed up with something like. I am. It’s what I needed tonight. “Hey.” See what I’m doing? I’m just taking it to extremes. “Oh. Who died?” And one of the girls goes. I’m actually going to go now and meet every woman in this bar because you have given me the worst rejection of my life. What I want to do in this particular episode is I want to give you my all purpose.” Again. Alright? You know better now that the best way to handle a conversation is always on your own terms. you’re talking about something. “Wow man. Rebound energy means that after a certain point of either turning off a woman or pushing her to the limits and this has to be done early on. oh. I want to shake your hand. I’m crushed. inside I am totally wet tissue.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. keep watching their reactions to see how they’re responding to it and they keep getting more and more grim. what’s yours?” And she’ll say. I’ll give you an example of this. you are an expert. I usually keep pushing it because let’s face it. the best way to handle it is usually just to go to the extreme. I’ll give you an example. you take the extreme on this.
is this willingness to not backtrack and not go back and salvage things and save face but be steadfast in going down the same road you were going down at the start of the conversation which is the way you came in on it. alright? And this is going to be one of those things that’s going to cause a lot of the guys’ problems but rapport is attraction if it is handled in the right way. You’re really riding your own waves of . it’s the willingness to say something brash and over the top just to get her to react in some way. any rapport that you’ve strike right after it. That’s the attraction energy. to get her to acknowledge the conversation and come out of her shell and drop those shields. And a little sub-note here. You don’t need her approval. But what it is.Page 131----------------------www. But these are great attraction building mechanisms by virtue of using the banter and handling yourself in conversations. these are some of the things that I use all the time and very effective. Then there’s the attraction connection energy which is more like what we call. You’re on your own terms.com at it. it’s the spark. Now as long as you’re not abrasive and attacking her. it doesn’t even matter even if you use mine. you’ve lost her. So I want you to stay tuned for that. Trust me. is going to seem hollow and false. It does work. One is the activation energy. real connection. yeah. get her to know that you’ve got this good confident Alpha Man energy and then you merely dive into those areas that are going to establish the most trust and real connection with her and I mean. Being self-amused means that you’re just happy to be there. So keep that under your hat. it’s the kick in the ass. you’ve probably heard this a billion times before and you’ll hear it a billion times again. it doesn’t matter if you use any of them but the point again is to keep in mind those two essential energies to the conversation. You’re not using anybody else’s energy. the second that you show a woman that you need her approval. Some powerful stuff here. Rapport is attraction. And it’s so essential self-amusement really underlies your entire attitude. believe it or not. it doesn’t really matter which ones you use. It really works. rapport. 11 ----------------------. vicious spirited humor. So you get her to laugh a little bit.it even further and that will actually turn the conversation around. You really can’t afford to spend too much of your time trying to build up attraction at the start because if you’re waiting too long or working too hard © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I have often talked about attitude that an alpha man has. you can definitely turn it around. cocky and funny and teasing and all that stuff you’ve the self-amused and so critical because it’s the whole heart of probably read about.CarlosXuma. the stuff we’re going to talk about in this program and further episodes coming up. effective techniques to use in conversation and of course there’s a billion of them. it’s the willingness to go too far. doing it with anger and a subtle undercurrent of sarcasm and really mean. LLC. those are the most powerful. If you show her that you need her approval.
I’ll give you a very small example of a self-amused attitude so you can kind of see it in its process.oh. “You know what? I don’t need your approval from my own having fun.CarlosXuma. and then don’t let her in on the joke. laugh at it. to the tests. I’m talking about just self-amused laughter were you sit there and go (laugh) and shake your head and then take a sip of your drink and then you just start talking about something else. it’s that willingness to kind of cut off her energy and show her that. This is where you get enough safety or feeling of safety in your life to be able to go into conversations and not feel like you’re leveraging yourself.” Another example of this is just laughing for no apparent reason. you look at her and go. I mean. This is the secret of every guy that’s great in conversation is.” and the other girl’s kind of smirking a little bit. they just want to make guys fall in love with them. LLC. he’s always got this bubble of safety around him. I’ve got to get back. that’s got to be effective. You’re establishing your own little fortress of solitude within a social situation. think of something funny that genuinely amuses you. OK? It’s like a surfer that’s literally setting up a little wave machine in his bathtub and he’s in there with a little wakeboard. and your own ability to stay self-amused. You don’t tell her what it is and even if she asks you. He doesn’t need anybody else there with him. you must really . and you make that imitation of her. I’m going to get myself another drink. Anyway. Maybe you were talking about that story I gave you about the woman in the waiting room where she lost the vibrator inside her. This is important. And it’s the same with conversation. you don’t tell her what you were laughing at. 12 ----------------------. you know what? I guess you had to be there. he’s always impervious to the comments. to the insults of a woman because nothing really gets through to him. Make it your own private little moment within the greater conversation you’re having with her. that little noise thing where you’re going. Let’s say you’re talking about something that she thought it was pretty funny.Page 132----------------------www. I mean. I’m not talking like idiot laughter like (laugh). women pick up on this. That’s true self-amusement and I’m not just saying that laugh and pretend that there’s something funny. he’s just having a blast on top of the water and it’s all his fun. I thought it was pretty damn funny.happiness and having fun. “Well. oh the women today. “Uh. let’s say it was a story of yours. And you don’t explain it to her. because they know that you’re not in the conversation trying to leach energy off of them. “This is so cute. that was really kind of funny but for some reason just felt kind of flat in the group. to the jabs.com You know.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. She can call him any name in the book and he’s got this little bubble up. When you can express that to your own self-amusement. like putting yourself too much out there to be rejected.
you can pretend where you have that little yourself and get away with it. “Oh ok. another example of self-amusement. is to watch out for how you handle the sexual innuendos in the conversation. “What is she doing? Is she sticking feathers in her butt?” No. LLC. that I’m invested. You’ve got to turn it back around and get it going back on a straight tangent. It can happen in more subtle ways too like. you don’t just make this stuff up. maybe you’re talking about something and there was this Beavis and Butthead moment where she says something dirty like. I can’t help but throw this in. so where in Ohio are you from?” Did you see what I did there? I had a little moment with myself where I was remembering something that happened to me in Ohio and yes. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. What you say to her is something like. Sometimes you can make it up and get away with it but I highly recommend you don’t. you’re in the wrong there you go.com I recommend you just have fun with it.Page 133----------------------www. She tells you she’s from Ohio and you look at her and kind of go. It always depend on you’re in. the situation moment with congruent with it. If headspace.CarlosXuma. And then you blame her for making it dirty. Again. So how are you going to handle it with your friend? Are you going to sit around and never talk with her or something?” You see what I did there? I went in the opposite direction that most guys would’ve gone with the conversation which is to keep pushing the sexual innuendo on it and keep it going that way. you go on. you have to always be the first one to turn the conversation back around into a non-sexual direction. Ohio huh? Anyway. let’s get this back on a clean track here or you’re going to think I’m a slut and I am definitely not that honey. so she’s a little bit of a dirty bird that’s cool but come on. “Oh. This is how we get the effect of role reversal with women. 13 ----------------------. don’t push the sexual innuendo in the conversation. If I ever do that. If you bring up something sexual or she brings up something sexual. One of the most important things you can do in conversation.get a lot of dates with that kind of attitude. You watch how she handles it and this is the most important rule for guys. So And I have one more tip. it doesn’t bother me because I haven’t given so much of myself to this interaction. I’ve got tons of them and you’re going to be getting the benefit of all of them in these episodes from these program. I’m lost. that I have it turnaround. And then your temptation is going to be to start asking her about what are all those kinky things. yes. it really does have to happen to you.” Do you see what I’m doing there? I’m totally impervious. but you’ve really got to be you’re doing it just to get an effect. you don’t go there. “I wasn’t even sure if I was going to come . So let’s say that the conversation was going to the direction of how her best friend is really kind of slutty and now she’s suddenly into doing all these kinky things.
you didn’t did © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. like thousands of years ago. Now the temptation is what? Yeah. “Oh. LLC. you don’t want to communicate that you’re a horn-dog out to just slip it into any woman. Think about that for a minute. 15 ----------------------. is viewed as being weak.” OK.CarlosXuma. she says something like that and you’re at a party with her. Some women are going to go kind of perverted. It’s not virility to pop your dick in everything that moves. because that’s an important distinction for any guy.com you? Well pity that.Page 134----------------------www. I mean. do something physical right at that moment. Let’s get this back in a clean path here Miss Dirty Bird. Some will just go way out there and those are the women that you should chase down the energy as far as you want to go with it. She’s going to become self conscious and pull back. And it happens in much more subtle ways like say for example you make a comment like. You don’t want to try and contain those women. he was viewed as being effeminate or weak because he didn’t know how to govern his own impulses. One of the things that was considered a weakness in men in years gone by. That’s how you keep the sexual innuendo from going too far in the wrong direction. And this particular strategy of maintaining your control over sexual innuendo in your conversation really demonstrates that with women. “No. Remember that you want to communicate that you’re a sexual man. And she looks at you and wink at you.” And you’re really talking about the party that you’re at.” And that’s when I kind of push her on the shoulder or bump hips with her. If a man had an overtly large sexual appetite.Page 135----------------------www. But most women want to go there just a little bit just to test the waters and make sure that you’re not judging her.” You know something like that. “Oh. So © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. a man that cannot control his sexual urge or at least contain it and then redirect it. 14 ----------------------. it’s virility to know when to and when not to and how to manage that energy.tonight. “Well OK. OK? So they’re looking for that judgment impulse in you that you might think that she’s slutty. you weren’t sure huh?” You look at her and kind of make a goofy smile. And the same thing is true today. you want to go. you know what I mean.com . they used to judge men by their sexual appetites. that’s ridiculous. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to come tonight. I would’ve loved to heard you moan. Does that make sense? I hope so.CarlosXuma. LLC.
The information contained in or made available through this Product cannot replace or substitute for the services o f trained professionals in any eld.Page 137----------------------www. LLC. including.. 3.. material.com © DD Publications. but not limited . © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. LLC..com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew.CarlosXuma. That’s the ultimate strategy in this conversation. Morpheus Productions. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.Page 136----------------------www. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1.. 16 ----------------------. 1 ----------------------. There you go. 2. There’s a ton of stuff right there that you can use in your conversation with women for banter and really getting the energy going. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. 2. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. LLC.CarlosXuma. you pull back for her. 3.don’t make her pull back.
. you should regularly consult a doctor in all matters relating to physical or mental health. action. will be liable for any direct. including but not limited to economic loss. particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. injury. or any of their af liates. Neither Carlos Xuma nor our associates. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Producti ons. indirect. DD Publications and our licensors or suppliers make no representations or warranties concerning any treatment. illness or death. nancial. consequential.to. special. or legal matters. or application of medication or preparation by any person following the information offered or provided herein. LLC. medical. psychological. In particular. exemplary or other damages that may result.
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