This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
com How To Talk To Women The Reference Guide © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Product ions, LLC. ----------------------- Page 2----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com MODULE 1: Foundation & Secret Keys Hey, It’s Carlos Xuma, welcome to the How to Talk to Women Program. We’re also going to go into the flow of conversation and then each module after that, so let’s get started right away. What we’re going to talk about in this program is the How to Talk to Women Concept because it’s such a big question for guys. I see it all the time, every time I open up an e-mail it says, “Hey, how do I talk to women in this situation and on that situation?” So, I’m going to give you the key understanding both from the internal point of view as well as a technique point of view, exactly how to talk to women in just about every step of the way. So there’s two parts that I want to talk about, I want to talk about the overview of the concept. The first is the foundation, let’s expand on this just a little bit. The foundation, meaning, your alpha lifestyle is going to be the major underpinning, how you feel when you go in and you do when you talk to women, and by alpha lifestyle, I mean these are the factors that contribute to your feeling of masculinity and feeling of having your own strong, wellgrounded lifestyle. When you have—let me ask you this, “If you were, let’s just say Brad Pitt, it doesn’t matter that he’s hooked up to Angelina Jolie or not, you think that Brad Pitt, by virtue of his lifestyle, the things he does in his life, his famil y, his health, his wealth, his time, his career, his job as an actor, the image he portrays, the life passions, all that stuff, do you think that that helps him feel confident going into any conversation with a woman?” He didn’t just instantly become Brad Pitt, the millionaire, successful movie star, he had to have the feelings before he realized the financial success and the social success he does right now, so the feelings of confidence you have before you go into an approach are going to be fully responsible for how much success you get on the other end. So these are the components that make up an alpha lifestyle and this is what comprises how strong you feel, with just one moment before you walk up and start talking to a woman or even when you’re in a conversation with a woman, these factors play into what you talk about, how you talk about © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 1
----------------------- Page 3----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com things with her, so this is kind of like the undercurrent of your confidence and your feelings of self-esteem when you talk to women. Family, obviously your family, the people that you’re related to, how well you’re relating to them. Do you have family issues that are eating away at you from the inside out? These are going to pull you down as well as pull you back up. Your health, are you a healthy person, are you fit, are you in shape? If you’re not, again it’s going to work one way or the other, on one of the scales are working for you on the other, it’s going to be pulling you down and making you feel less confident. You’ve got to make sure that all these are pulling in the same direction. Wealth, how do you feel about your money? Your time, your career and your job, your image, your life passion, your friends, your hobbies and activities, your home and your transportation—yeah, your car and where you live make a difference. All these factors including your visions and strategies you have for your life as well as the life that you potentially want with another woman, all these things are rolled up into what I call the Alpha Lifestyle. Now, once you have all those elements and you realize that you still have to address everyone of those. Let’s get on to the next part. Let’s talk about the foundation of talking with women and then where you feel the most pain is very often what affects your conversations with women the most. So any one of these lifestyle elements here, whether it’s your family, whether it’s your health, your money, your time, and whatever it is in here that is most painful to you in any given time is going to be affecting your conversation with women, remember that, because it’s very important and you’ve got to know it and recognize that ironically, the best topics for rapport are the ones that are the areas of pain in your lifestyle, those are the ones that create the feeling of connection with her because she’s going to see vulnerability. She’s going to sense a certain level of humanity and connection from you by virtue of the fact that you recognize that one of these—the family, the health the wealth or something bothering you and knowing how to talk about it, and we’re going to talk about that in this program. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 2 ----------------------- Page 4----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com And going down here to the strength of your personality, the strength of your personality is what supports your game. How strong is your personality? If your personality were to be turned physical form, in the form of a body, would your strength look like a skinny 98lb weakling or would it look like Arnold Schwarzenegger back when he was the buffest, biggest guy in the planet? That’s how it affects your game and your conversations with women as well. The strength of your personality is very important and when I’m telling you here is, “Be certain about most everything.” Alright? The certainty is how
women see and kind of intuitively grasp your sense of confidence when you’re in a conversation, now I don’t mean certainty to a point of being dumb and obstinate, I’m talking about certainty in terms of knowing how sure you are about things in your life and how sure you are in going to a certain direction? I don’t have to be sure that I know the exact fuel consumption of the SR71 Blackhawk, that’s dumb, that’s a factual thing that no one will care about and probably, no most guys and probably airplane geeks will believe me but being certain about the important things in life, being certain about where you stand, ethical-moral stands—things like that. Very important to how you build up this foundation when you’re talking with women, so be very clear about this, being certain about things in your life is a very important part of a conversation that we hold with women. So one key element, what do I mean by that? There’s really only one key element into any conversation with a woman, when you’re talking with women, there’s one thing to focus on, I know that you probably have a dozen models that tell you about attraction that has comfort that, rapport on this and seduction that—don’t worry about it. The one thing you work on with a woman is connection and you do it by the virtue of a push and pull dynamic and that’s a lot of what we’re talking about in here. We’re going to talk about how conversations flow, the things to do when you run out of conversation are very important for guys. Story telling. How to make women laugh, those are energy tools. Handling phone conversations, as well as electronic communication, texting with women, and tools that you can use—these are all things that we’re going © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 3 ----------------------- Page 5----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com to be covering in this program, but they’re all built into this connection of push-pull. What’s in there? Well, with that we have these three elements that we talk about frequently, I think most guys are used to hearing about this, there’s energy excitement, there’s qualification and there’s rapport and comfort— these are the three biggies, these are the three subcomponents of how you build that connection in using the push-pull energy. Energy and excitement. Here’s energy and excitement. Energy and excitement, as it relates to you, in other words when you are talking with a woman, the energy and excitement in that conversation should be related back to you, it shouldn’t just be her having fun. There are ways that are kind of leaching on of a woman having fun in other ways, in other words you’re both on a rollercoaster ride. Is the fun really related to you? No. You’re on a rollercoaster which is going up and down and zooming around on the corkscrew, right? But, by virtue of the fact that you might be holding her hand while she’s experiencing this extreme visceral sense of fun, it becomes a way for you to kind of draw in the same energy, it’s a very important fact and most guys don’t know how to use that to their benefit. Unfortunately, they often do it to
“Stop. not “Oh” which is an unpleasant shock. she’s got to know what happened. laughing is your measuring stick. how you touch a woman in any conversation is also very important. A long time back. We can’t resist a story.” I start conversations like that and she’s going to be listening because she’s got to know that story. A long time back. Teasing is slightly different from banter. I can’t believe you said that. Sexual innuendo is another form of energy and excitement in conversations you need to use. to get a woman to start touching you. teasing back and forth and she has that look of. This is where it’s very important. Banter in a sense that pleasant shock is your measuring stick. And of course there’s teasing. Touch. particularly in this situation. came up to me and you wouldn’t believe what he said to me. Pleasant shock is you’re back and forth. “This guy. “Uh.” You can sense that in the change in © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it’s how you determine how well you’re doing when you’re teasing. not the other way around. physical contact is the measuring stick. It’s got that special chemistry. you’re back and forth and you’re just having fun. I’m going to talk about that in this particular module is going to determine quite a bit on how she learns about you. You communicate a lot by effectively using story telling. 4 ----------------------. Story telling. you know the slap you on the arm and going. You’re looking for physical contact from her initiated by her. women more so than anybody .” That sort of thing tells you. right? But your use of touch. It’s what we call Keno. If you’re teasing her right and you’re teasing her correctly and you’re keeping the social pressure out.their detriment as well. And here. How much is she laughing? How much is she giggling? How much is she genuinely bubbling enjoying herself? There’s banter. OK. She should be reaching out and touching you in some way. It was interesting because I learned so much about why and how human beings are so drawn to stories. I’m having an effect.Page 6----------------------www. in other words. Touch is very important.CarlosXuma. LLC. The second you walk up to somebody and start telling them a story. She should be doing.com energy is no longer friendship energy.” you know that’s a pleasant shock. it’s working. So what are the excitement elements of attraction here that we’re talking about? First of all there’s fun. She’s starting to feel the drama that the situation in the head. “Oh my God. I used to write fiction. it’s something more. they tend to go into situations where there’s negative emotions and the woman associates those with him. I studied fiction and I still have all of my books in my bookshelf over here on how to create effective stories and plotlines. You’ve got to look at her and see how much is she going.
” Nothing you say. it works. A lot of guys would like to tell you that you need to be this super comedian. OK? Which means. How to be funny with women? I’m going to cover that with some segment here. I encourage you to try to be original but it doesn’t need to be. I just want to say. not being too serious. If you’ve taken any of my programs. Limit your use of humor in conversations. “I don’t want to be overrated. it does not matter.CarlosXuma. Humor. if you don’t feel like you’re a funny guy.Page 7----------------------www. the less actually the women will feel rapport with you over the long term. There’s jokes. 6 ----------------------. “Steal as much funny as you need. I want to tell you right now. First of all. it goes back to what I was saying. That is what makes humor work in the long run for you. They don’t care if it’s slightly used. A slightly used humor.CarlosXuma. And we’re going to talk about those in this program as well. you know like a slightly used car. That’s a big topic. LLC. Power questions. it’s not a big deal. You don’t need as much as you think you might need. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. steal as much as you need.” Instead. you’ve got to be like Jerry Seinfeld to make a woman really turned on but the fact is. 5 ----------------------. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. what I think you should do is to focus on staying lighthearted. You can totally build out an unbelievable amount of sexual tension by the effective use of power questions.com Nobody else teaching this as quite as I do because power questions control not only the conversation and the flow of conversation but they control the energy of that conversation. Keep in mind the jokes that they’re great and the best part about them is that you can steal as much funny as you need. I went for years where I would do nothing more than kind of relive classic Eddie Murphy skits or jokes that are heard before or just kind of recycled humor.else.Page 8----------------------www. humor itself is highly overrated as a tool for attraction and what we call pick-up or seduction. the more you use humor within the conversation.com . The specific places and ways that you use humor and I’m going to talk about that in the humor module in this program. LLC. So I always encourage guys. OK? It’s an ethical stealing. or as you know as far as humor needs to be original. you’d know that power questions are essential components and as one my unique skills that I teach guys. There are various forms of humor to raise up this energy and excitement. and it works because women are looking for a reason to laugh. too heavy within a conversation.
These are guys that are not having the success they want with women. pull. if you’re just taking her with no questions asked. it’s how picky you are about who it is and you’re going to be involved with emotionally.Your best use of humor is not so much of telling jokes as it is. you’re thinking. I doubt you could match what it is that I’m looking for in a woman. this is so serious. that you’re not serious. when you talk to them. You can tell when somebody is just taking what they can get as opposed to what they deserve. LLC. The next is qualification. Very important. which actually I think is more correct of the two. Skepticism and doubt is another part of the qualification. pulling away. sexually. You’re a little young. You’ve got to be picky. . 7 ----------------------. I would so do her. because a woman can sense this more than anything else. I cannot mess this up. back and forth. you feel like you deserve her.” Do you see that attitude that I’m having there? You’ve got to communicate in this within your conversations with women. if a man is not selective about a woman he is choosing into bringing into his life. you’re cute but you know. do not try to fake qualification. there’s energy and excitement. how you use it within a conversation. you feel desperate. will go into a conversation with women. But you get the idea. is I’m pushing myself towards her. I don’t want to joke or do anything that might risk it.Page 9----------------------www. that you’re not being dire.CarlosXuma. It’s difficult to find that difference. whatever it may be. they’ll talk with women but they’re talking from the standpoint of. he’s setting himself up for failure. some people say that push is pushing her © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I’m going to talk about techniques like this and real ways that you can use humor in the humor section. I’m skeptical. I can find a cute chick anywhere. romantically. So I’m going to stay on a very serious plane. This qualification portion is a lot of the pull.com away and pull is pulling her in. If in the back of your head. So there you go. I cannot tell you this enough. Qualification is discretion and pickiness. Don’t fake this. So we’re not going to go into much detail about that here. because if you—as what he’s doing. And the easiest use of humor of course is just simply exaggerating into the extreme. Qualification is where you kind of pushing around her way a little bit saying. having a light sensation to you. OK? Push. qualification mentality that you have when working in this whole connection sequence of push-pull. “I don’t know. “I don’t care what this chick says. back and forth. you don’t feel deserving. Basically. casting or not whether or not you deserve a good woman. “Oh my God.” Dude.” And that really destroys the emotions and the attraction for the woman will feel for you. I might as well pull away.
to the different norm. Rapport and comfort is where a lot of guys think of being under staged. Commonalities are very weak form of rapport building and I encourage you to avoid them wherever possible. LLC. things like. things like that. The person who’s asking the questions controls the conversation. someone you know that you both know in common. it’s because of how you’re going to feel inside when you have standards. 8 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. I’ll talk about that later on in storytelling. Rapport and comfort is simply another form of connection. Power questions. So that’s why I’m going to focus a special segment on that alone. The power of questions is unimaginable because it controls everything.com You have to use questions effectively within the conversations. alright? Story telling is also another form of qualification. It’s the only way to establish a really powerful connection.Page 10----------------------www. I would totally go to bed with her. Story telling is another way you can prove or demonstrate to her that you do have discretion when it comes to women and it might also find a way of communicating to her whether or not she should be thinking about it. that’s what a woman wants to feel. connection. were talking about one big concept here. Rapport and comfort. no matter what she says. You can use them in a little bit but your big focus here needs to be not on the superficial but on the deep side where you have shared emotional states. this is where you’re looking for and trying to establish commonalities. Then there’s the superficial kind of rapport and comfort. All this stuff trickles up to this diagram I’m showing you here into the . you’re cute and all but what else you’ve got going for you?” She will sense that it’s not true. she has to feel connection though. I mean. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. she doesn’t feel that you’re her boyfriend to sleep with you. it’s not genuine. when you have limits. You read any good Tony Robbins book and he talks about this. “I don’t know. Connection. again. You need it to be sincere. it changes your attitude completely. the questions. connection. There is deep rapport and deep comfort where you obviously want to go with a woman. Story telling you can use in any part of the sequence. You’re not going to be the same man anymore when you stop accepting the bullshit that people throw at you start raising yourself up to the standard. where you went to school. you cannot fake qualification and it’s not just the results you’re going to get with her. the power of questions themselves cannot be underestimated. She doesn’t need to feel devotion.there’s nothing she could say that would make me want not to sleep with her. This is where you share an emotional state. it won’t come through in your words. when you have a threshold of acceptability within your life. but then you’re on the outside and you’re trying to fake it and going.
Because when you’re touching somebody. When you’re using all three together. Don’t listen to anybody that tells you that you have to do things at a certain order. you can’t do it. let me see if you are. this where inner versus outer game thing. these three elements. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. It’s a very effective tool and you need to use this in conversations as well. And rapport and comfort. a big bang. It’s not necessary to follow this like a blueprint. So again. And again. Touch is another way of establishing rapport and comfort.” Alright? So that’s why you put qualification there. it’s hard for you to be like. That’s your best way.” I think of qualification as being more inner game because when you have qualifying questions in your head and reason why you want to dismiss somebody from being a possibility in your life. “OK. it may seem silly at the time but you get my point. it’s very hard to have different emotional states.CarlosXuma. power questions. OK. (laugh). it’s like having a main trunk of electric wire coming together in one junction. energy and excitement. and you want her to feel it and you touch her at the same time when you say it. what she’s trying to do is lower that person’s emotional state and get it closer to her. OK? Maybe. LLC. Then you can slip into a little bit of qualification and then go into rapport and comfort. that ‘s another way of saying. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this fact but you know when somebody’s crying and you’re hugging them. powerful technique. You use qualification before rapport and comfort because you’re saying here and your qualification. this is what we tend to think as attraction. Especially at the very impactful moments of story telling where you might have something. story telling appears here on the rapport and comfort because there’s no better way of establishing rapport and comfort with a woman than telling a really powerful story about yourself that connects with her. When a woman reaches out and touches another woman or touches a guy. And then. if you’re thinking of a classical pick-up parlance.com Women do it as a way to bring emotional states into equilibrium or at least pull them closer together. So focus on deep rapport. Again. If you’re going to follow it like a blueprint. “I think you’re a possibility. I’m going to try and make a connection with you. being the stage where your trying to stabling more deeper in a sense of connection. Ah. all of that power comes into one point. you look like you’re acceptable. 9 ----------------------.” Rapport and comfort is the next state of. it’s like your activation energy. Qualification. Powerful. . “I’m choosy. You have a stronger attitude overall and your conversation works much better too.Page 11----------------------www. Women use it to establish control in conversations as well as level set emotions. yes I would encourage you to get the energy and excitement started upfront. maybe.connection.
I’ve been reading a book quite recently and I want to share with you. it’s a big misconception. those are the critical elements of the overall process of how to talk with women and how to build attraction and the right kind of connection with women. he decided to leave was an incredible star.CarlosXuma. in your job you’ve probably been taught this. I’m going to give this as a resource for this program. Wherever it is that you’re doing your best right now. So there you go. an incredible time again and decided he wanted to go Well he didn’t make the Major Leagues so he went back on to the Minor Leagues. something of that effect. LLC. that’s why your qualification goes there.If it feels weird to go through energy and building up the energy in a conversation and then building and establishing a strong sense of rapport with a woman and then you suddenly go. this is what Michael wanted to do for himself. I want to emphasize this little fact here.Page 12----------------------www. he didn’t care what other people thought which I totally salute him for but at the same time.CarlosXuma. in the long term. Most people have been taught to believe that they need to work on their weaknesses. you know with my flight all the time?” That would feel weird. And what they talk about the program is you’re are going to waste a lot of time in your life trying to make your weaknesses build up to the level of your strengths. 11 ----------------------. of course by all means. proved himself time and into baseball. I don’t know if © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. what way back when. Pick them up to an adequate level but don’t ever believe that your weaknesses will ever be your strengths because they won’t. Think of Michael Jordan. that you need to be working on the areas that you’re not as good. Use your strengths and the same time. he was sincere about this.com What happened? It didn’t work for him. when in fact that’s the worst possible use of your time.com you’re my type. Get behind your strengths. LLC. The best possible use is where you take your strength and you just put all your energy behind your strengths because that is going to skyrocket your success more than anything else.Page 13----------------------www. family probably talked this. if you have some weaknesses that just needs to be fixed. my example for this. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it’s called Now Find Your Strengths and Weaknesses. you have to keep in mind that. work on them. what did he end up doing? He went back to basketball where he was a star. when in fact your success lies in your strengths. “I don’t know. Everybody probably has taught you. this is did he do? Well you may remember professional basketball where he athlete. 10 ----------------------. where he could . Michael Jordan.
Page 14----------------------www.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. maybe it’s the ability to make someone laugh and getting excited and having fun with you and teasing. the foundation which is your alpha lifestyle and the key elements—well the one key element of all attractive conversations with women which is connection and I broke it down to all the segments for you there. Not in trying some athletic endeavor wherein he really wasn’t that quite talented. we’re going to talk about specific techniques for making women laugh and how to use the funny-cocky comedy thing. you’re going to learn how to use those as well. leverage it and use it. where applaud needed and that’s where he felt the most fulfillment. go to the module or segment number two of the program.. we’re going to talk about what to do when you run out of conversation. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. It’s going to serve you more than anything else. maybe it’s story telling. It’s the same thing with you. LLC. 2.. . So you’re going to find areas in here that are going to be your elements of success when you’re talking with women. Thanks. We’re going to talk about tools you can use and help you in conversation and get you going and handle some of the common side conversations you have with women.shine. Facebook or texting. we’re going to talk about story telling. Whatever your talent may be. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. where his strengths. 12 ----------------------. And that’s it for now. this is Carlos Xuma. how to talk with women. Maybe it’s the ability to keeping the conversation flowing or establishing a deep rapport in there. next step. e-mail. how it should flow and how it should work and understanding the concepts of that conceptually. material. Those are the ones you should work on enhancing.CarlosXuma. things like you might need in phone conversations. We’re going to talk next on the flow of conversation. we’ve just covered. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. And then we’re going into hard core mechanics. Your talents will be your primary source of your success when you’re talking with women. So there you go.
although approach is a part of the overall conversation. The conversation is going to be a little skewed towards you providing a lot of the energy to keep it going. she’s not thrown off by talking to a guy. so I’m trying to help you by keeping the same perspective but in reality. 10% will be her. because she’s actually into it. you can use anything that I’m talking about in this program to apply in opening and starting conversations. OK? I want you to keep that in mind. OK? As a matter of fact at the start. we’re going to look at the actual energy. we’re back. Any one of these can be used as an opener and I really don’t like to set aside opening and approaching as being a different part of the conversation but guys view it that way. OK? And again. the more it’s going to be like this situation here. if you’re looking at it as a matter of percentage. That’s going to be handled in special approach program. there’s a little diagram a put together to explain the flow of energy between her and you. Let’s dig right into flow of conversation. if this is a woman you’ve just met. 2. 1 ----------------------. it’s time to get cracking on the first topic. LLC. the ratio of her to you is going to be higher.. It may not be on scale but I’m sure you’ll forgive me on that part. 3. I’m talking about a lot of the general conversation techniques that you can use along the way. a lot of the stuff I’m talking about in this program is not geared towards approach.Page 15----------------------www. it’s going to have 20 or 30% right off the bat. . So let’s look at the top here. I’m not focusing in specifically on what you need to do when you walk up right off the bat. The less nervous she is. the more of an open person she is or maybe she is a playful type of person.com Module 2: Conversation Flow Alright. When it comes to the overall conversation at the earliest part of the conversation.3. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. how should the energy and how should the flow of conversation go with women.CarlosXuma. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. 90% will be you. This is worst case scenario and the more nervous she is.
You should be looking for this kind of a pattern. I can’t explain it to you. OK? Until I get to the module on how to understand women. The more she contributes upfront. as far as the energy goes. She’s slowly going to be increasing. to the system and they © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. it doesn’t mean anything about you. don’t worry about it.com So again. . back to the energy of the conversation. LLC. the quicker the chemistry because of course. you’re going to have a problem because her investment in conversation is not the same as yours and what she’s trying to do is keep you at a certain distance to prevent any kind of—she doesn’t want to be misread. you can start to decrease your energy input and balance out a little bit and this is the other side of the conversation. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. alright? So again. you won’t feel as vulnerable up here.Page 17----------------------www. if she keeps you at arms length? What she’s saying is she doesn’t want to make it into that conversation for whatever reason. she doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea.” because then she would feel guilty for that. It’s tiring.CarlosXuma.Page 16----------------------www.CarlosXuma. the better off you are. right? Because you’re thinking the wrong thing would it really become her fault? This is Psychology. It doesn’t matter why. her input is going to increase and as it does. putting a 90. This is time. it can be very tiring sometimes talking to women especially when they’re not doing their fair share. Maybe she’s got a boyfriend. it’s the most intricate form but just trust me. if she’s really into it. maybe she’s just isn’t into it that day. OK? So this is a model for you to understand the energy output and inputs if you will. If she isn’t. you’re going to balance out somewhere in the middle here after some amount of time. 70 to 90% of the conversational input and energy. So. It can’t because she doesn’t know you yet. what is she going to do if she holds back. This is what happens later on. 1 ----------------------. see how these numbers are going up? She’s slowly going to be increasing her contribution and her energy into the conversation. she doesn’t want to be misunderstood. going from side to side. the better the conversation will flow. You’re going to hear that a lot from women. this is the later on of the conversation over here. the woman will pick up the ball and she will start contributing more to the conversation than you do. You’ve got to watch that too. it really is. They’re going to say. If it goes higher than 70 or 80. So as the time goes by. you’ve got to watch it because she’s starting to control the conversation. So your contribution will slowly decrease. you are going to provide most of the energy upfront. maybe she’s just in a bad mood. 2 ----------------------. She will in an essence talk more than you do.com will balance out. That’s where you see her percentage go up from 50 to 60 to 70 and higher sometimes. LLC.
The opening doesn’t really matter. see what I’m saying? Her reply is more important. she won’t be grounded. she doesn’t know how to handle the social aspects of it. Whatever it is. “Hey. so your opening is nothing more than a match lit to the fire and now you’re watching what the fire does as it burn really slow. In essence. I’m saying that twice for actual emphasis. we just think it’s just guys having the problems. this sort of thing second.Let’s face it. this sort of thing third. Conversational flow. to walk up to talk to women with. I’m right here. she won’t feel that you’re real. is kind of like a paint by the numbers step. If I did that to you. But this is why I put an asterisk on this. The experience that a lot of guys have. it’s OK. a little sequence there. Comparing it this way would probably help you. Why? Because you’d be relying too much on artificial structure which bears no resemblance to the actual conversation. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. It doesn’t matter what it is. for every guy that feels uncomfortable in conversations. What you’ve got to do is make sure that you are not trying to follow a plan as much as you are trying to keep things improvisational and coming from here rather than from here. that’s the one thing guys don’t understand is a balancing factor of this on the female side of the equation.” It’s what she says after that. Conversation is something of an art.com So the first thing that happens in the conversation is your opening. You should be listening to her response. 3 ----------------------. how should a conversation go? Well. And she doesn’t know how to do it. the more you’re trying to follow a plan. And it sounds a little bit satiric but it’s very important that you understand this.Page 18----------------------www. OK? Her reply. Conversational flow. there’s also a woman that feels the same way. what that is. is that I give them something completely random to say. She won’t feel real. what to do. where? Is that art? Not really. that you’d have to listen for. most guys are so caught up in what they’re saying to start the conversation . I wou ld be hopelessly screwing up your game with women. She might be socially awkward or whatever reason. We just don’t see it. does it really burn the match out before it even starts. Listen to what she says when she replies. LLC. Somebody told me specifically that. and it doesn’t matter what it is. Let’s talk. I’ve trained guys this way too. Let’s go into the next section here. or we’re just having the problem. whatever that may be.CarlosXuma. I’m not going to give you a specific step by step. the more up in your head you are. in fact it’s the least important part. your opening is not the most important part of the conversation. in other words if I were to sit down in front of a canvass with a set of paints and paintbrush. I want you to take this sort of thing first. The opening is just a way of opening the door and saying. the more you’re going to create problems for yourself in the conversation.
LLC. Think about this. whatever the case may be.com I’m trying to think of a better term for that but you know. because if you just answer her question. Don’t give a direct answer to hers. if she replied with a question to you like. the key to unlock the rest of the conversation from her. Think about it. So then. You should find a way to steer your answer in a way that you still maintain control of the conversation. you’ve got to be adding to the experience in her life. It should never be deter on how she respond to you that should be fairly obvious. If you’re not giving value to her in everything you’re saying. maintaining control of the conversation. in everything you’re doing. Your response should not only be in some way handling whatever it is she said. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. your reply next should probably be a question and should never be an answer to hers. 4 ----------------------. so you’ve got to watch on that. This is probably a law. but you have to raise that energy level so that she feels the positive lift of the conversation. whether she is a cool chick or not. it’s WIIFM. your whatever it may be. of course when you give value. after your reply and you’ve listened to that. whether she’s a good humor. give value to her. your reply. you’ve got to raise the energy level in the conversation with whatever your response is. what’s in it for her? Is she getting something out of the conversation? Because human beings are selfish creatures. giving value. And her reply gives you bada-bing. she’s got no motivation to stay in the conversation. “What is that the best thing you’ve got going on there for you? Is that a line? Come on. you’re going to be falling into the trap of being her conversational slave. Then comes her reply and then comes your reply which is where you need to start making the transition into conversation. whether or not she’s got a bug up her butt. it’s going to be running contrary to the rules of how to talk to women. In other words. this is one of the first laws of talking to women.because they had overcome that courage hurdle to actually walk up and talk to her that they’re not listening to her reply. You must always be giving value in some way. after she responds to your opening your reply should first of all. you’ve got to do better than that. Also think about upping the ante.” Your reply should never be to answer that question or to be a direct rebuttal to it.CarlosXuma. form this point on in this conversation. because a lot of guys get caught up in the opener in the first gambit that .Page 19----------------------www. If you’re going to talk to me. you’re going to find that out from her reply. This is a big factor. You’ll know instantly from what she says to whatever it is you open with. they’re not in it to help you out. her conversational puppet basically. they’re in it for themselves and her enjoyment is a key factor for that. if you will . If you’re taking away in any way.
CarlosXuma. Remember I told you. Unless you’re just approaching drunk women in a bar at 2am. but let me be honest here. OK? And the same thing applies here you need to make a transition from your opening game to your mid-game as quickly as possible. Your opener mode lasts for only two interactions. qualification. And then she’s going to reply again and now you need to transition it towards conversation. girl. So you’re no longer in opener mode. she forgets about the fact that you’re there to try and be interested in her sexually and now she’s in a different mode of. how you do that is the most © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.” And if she’s not thinking that way or she’s not working in that direction. That’s the way this conversation’s got to go. You hear what she says and you reply to that. I don’t want you thinking that you have to take off a rocket ship because that’s going to make a conversation feel awfully weird. You say something. keep things interesting. he’s here to talk to me and that’s cool and all but he must want something. and your reply is a transition into what we call a regular conversation. “Oh you know what? You might not be all that. during your transition to the regular conversation. wait a minute. LLC. “Oh. But you should be gently increasing the energy level and the stakes a little bit for you to stay in it which is good.” When a woman is forced to think in that perspective. Again. a small sliver of conversations go down that route where she just checks out completely. What do I mean by chaos? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. you must give value to her and you must also up the ante. Whether that’s rapport building or attraction building. I’ve got to be in my best behavior. you know those first opening moves but the mid-game is where things really get interesting in chess. LLC. So her reply comes. I’ve got to present myself in my best form. it creates more psychological and sexual tension. You have to meet all my criteria as well.Page 20----------------------www. stilted and fake. if your sole motive is just to start a conversation. 6 . it keeps her interested.” That’s where qualification says. “Huh.happens within. then she’s thinking. OK? Even the worst party chicks in bars will give up some form of energy and give up some juice to the conversation. you need to stand back and you need to start qualifying her a little bit. she replies. 5 ----------------------. it’s kind of like chess. it doesn’t have to be a massive increase. the first primary thing you need to do is form connection with her in some way or another. you should still be able to get some level of interactivity from her. And then the last thing I’m adding in this particular step is. you must keep the energy level going.com important thing. she’s obviously not for you. from here on out your conversation is chaos. and your midgame has to take on a very connective flow. it creates more tension. You have to stand back a bit and qualify her and this is what I’m saying. In other words.
go find somebody else. As a matter of fact. totally lost. a bit of improvisation ability. That you’re ready to make that transition into the conversation. there’s no way you can know what’s going to happen next.CarlosXuma. you get a date or you try for a kiss or you try and push your physical . what’s going to happen? At some point. you get a phone number. You have to feel comfortable to leave in the conversation at any time and if you’re in the zone when you’re just totally gripless.Page 22----------------------www. go one more step than the last time you did. every time that you get in a conversation. it’s a very small sample of things that can happen there that’s why you can do some preparation after the opener but after that.com Chaos means there’s no way anyone in the world can predict how your conversation is going to go. you’ll go a little bit further. And the reason for this is. everything is totally up to chance and whim and fate and a multitude of events. That you know that it’s going to require some free-flow ability from you. Agreed. if you will. because you can’t do it and by doing that. is stay in the conversation only as long as you can and then bail. hey I say. You can’t predict it so please stop trying to. just like being at a roulette table. there’s a certain point that you’ve got to cut your losses. you press that a little bit more. Endgame is where you close. go and move on to something else. know when to stop gambling and walk away with your winnings because that’s leaves you with a positive feeling so that you’ll come back and do that again. LLC. he’s going to trip and he’s going to fall and he’s going to reflect that experience of tripping and falling back on the whole entire conversation he had with her. stop trying to predict every little thing that’s going to happen along the way. You’ve got your opening game. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. But here also is another rule: stay only as long as you can and then bail out of this conversation.CarlosXuma. Get out of there. you’re actually making it hard for yourself to stay in the conversation.com So stay only as long as you can in a conversation and then bail. 7 ----------------------. When you’re winning. totally clueless. you’ve got your mid-game and you’ve got your endgame. where after your opening. But the secondary rule is. I want you to pay attention to this part. How far do you think he should go? If it’s comfortable and it’s working. and now you can keep going.Page 21----------------------www. like I’ll give you an extreme example: a guy that just never talks to women and he’s in his first conversation with a woman. When in fact. So each time you’re in a conversation.” but in reality. OK? So I’m assuming that you’re at the point now where that’s not a big issue for you. all the way back here. This is the rule that’s always in the back of your head when you’re talking to women and you’re remembering how to talk to women.----------------------. “Go as far as you can.
on a high note. And that’s what creates fear and anxiety with women. Next secret here is. it’s the highest energy it’s probably going to ever be. Your thinking about something and then imagining outcomes is what creates your fears and anxieties with women. If you’re too subdued. when your mind just won’t turn off.Page 23----------------------www. mid-game and endgame.CarlosXuma.com So why are you there? It’s creating more anxiety and pain for you. all these things I talk about are meant more for you than her. it’s a much lower level. you’re going to stand out in the wrong way. Conversations will come and go. alright? So if you’re in a bar. It doesn’t matter what conversation it is. not the other way around. techniques you’re going to use. Always end the conversation. She has to feel good about the conversation and so do you. So remember that. you thought about something and then imagining these outcomes. Now. First of all. You need to bring up your energy to match the environment or better. imagining these events. You’re in the realm of “I can’t control it. I’ll give you a few secrets here that I’ve used in the past and these are important to remember. out of what you can control. you have all three elements in every single one of them. the higher the energy around you when you’re talking to a woman. alright? . Let me repeat this because this is important. That’s the end game. You’ve ever had that happen? I sure have had it happen.escalation a little bit further. and it’s going to be difficult to keep a conversation going. This is never more true than an opening a conversation with a woman. Again. it’s one level. LLC. that’s when your mind is trying to work too far out of its own domain. 8 ----------------------. This is the same kind of thinking by the way that keeps you awake at night that you can’t go to sleep. If you’re in a dance club with a high intensity laser beams and lights and a lot of music. what if she does this. emotions are created by thoughts. everybody has. Your emotions came to you because you started focusing on something. You’re too engrossed in the environment. Leave her with a positive feeling about it.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. what you walk away at the end of it will last you until the next time you walk up and talk to a woman or the next time you get into another interaction and it has to keep you on an upward slope. what happens then? You’re trying to predict the unpredictable. too laid back. Beginning game. When you can’t shut down the mental gears in work and the things going on up there. try and get in there. If you’re in a bookstore. When you can let go of the need to try and think ahead. just the last part of this initial flow of conversation topic before we get really into the hardcore cool stuff. the higher your energy needs to be. Your emotions are created by your thoughts. what happens here. because she’s going to feel the difference in the energy levels.
“Oh there’s something you need to know about that chick but I got to get going. it’s bait on a hook. The awkward silences and the problem and the description of the solution and how to stop it from happening to you ever again. last but not least. there’s a vacuum there but with energy that pulls her back into it later on. We can’t stand stories that don’t have an ending. I’ll talk to you about it later.CarlosXuma. I have something cool to tell you about. “Oh © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “Oh God. It’s the way human beings are built.And last rule.” You know you’re drawn in.Page 25----------------------www. we need that completion so you might as well be using it to your advantage. she feels a positive draw. you need that finishing. we hate a movie that finishes with to be continued. You know when you watch a TV show and it ends with a to be continued and you’re like. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. So I don’t want you to think it’s a game. it’s a necessary game.CarlosXuma. What’s your number again so I can call you?” She’s got a reason to call me. LLC. I always make casual mentions and I want to give you more techniques by the way so don’t feel like shipping you here. I can’t believe it.com you know what. this is how it were constructed. What do you think? I think so.” you know whatever it is you’re talking about. Always leave something unfinished because what that does is bait.Page 24----------------------www. 9 ----------------------.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. she does too and it’s a perfectly legitimate tool to ensure that you can stay in contact with her and keep her going. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. That keeps her coming back for more and whether you like to realize it or not. we’re going to get into what you do when you run out of conversation. It’s totally effective and it’s totally necessary. Alright? I’ll talk to you in the next module. always leave something unfinished in your conversation for the next time you talk or meet with this woman. 10 ----------------------. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to . So next module. I’m giving you the techniques on the next part but I would leave a technique like a. you need that completion. OK? So don’t shy away from using the old cliff hanger. Let’s say it’s a vampire movie. LLC. from keeping her interested in the conversation.
let’s talk about this because we’re getting into some inner game stuff here and I know the guys just love the inner game. This is probably the first really—I wouldn’t call them hardcore but tactics. Let’s zoom in here a little bit.Page 26----------------------www. the whole issue and this goes back into approach of course. techniques that you problem and then I’m going to module that you’re going to I call them definite and can use.CarlosXuma. You’re psyching yourself out. alright? The approach is over. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. Now you’re talking to her. Think about that. Yaddiyadda. you got up the guts to say hello. . it’s still an inner game thing. 1 ----------------------. LLC. how are you doing? I want to meet you. If this person was anybody else that you weren’t attracted to like your aunt or your sister or some guy at the mall.com MODULE 3: How to Never Run Out Of Things To Say Here we are with the next module. you’re psyching yourself out. it’s an inner game thing. 3. 2. whatever it is. material. 3. would you still have this problem of talking to them? Would you have problems keeping conversations going? Well the fact is whether you answer yes or no. If you don’t have an awkward silence it’s probably not going the way you think. My name is Carlos.start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. let’s talk about it in terms of the the solution. we’re going to talk about awkward silences and why they are actually a necessary component to a conversation. Ask yourself this question. would you still have this problem of keeping a conversation going?” I’m talking about this term in being in the conversation. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. “If you were with anyone else that you weren’t attracted to. First of give you get some concrete all. strategies. if you answered yes... The problem is. 2. alright? So the problem. So let’s talk about them.
you don’t feel threatened in any way. Here is another way of thinking about this. three-dimensional loser. do you? It comes down to a masculinity issue. why is it? Why does the conversation flow with that particular person. 1 ----------------------. why is this? It’s just a natural fact of social interaction that we start to—if our confidence is low in this situation that we start to doubt our own identity a little bit. “Hey. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.CarlosXuma. And if it stops.If you don’t have that problem. Kind of a crazy thing huh? So again. most guys don’t. it could be a friend. now anxiety jumps in its place and your thoughts start going crazy. LLC. Why is it not happening for you? Well it’s all because of the expectations. And then ask yourself. it could be a guy that you went to school with. LLC. matter or form. think about that one person. why does it stop? If you’re talking to a person and you’ve got no problem talking to that person. If you or anybody else in that moment. 2 . But when you talk to a strange woman. alright? It’s an important thing to think about. Safety. suddenly your masculinity is called into doubt. if the conversation flows with that person. it doesn’t have to be a woman. This is a really important thing.Page 27----------------------www. think about that. Things just go out of control. why did the conversation stop? Because the safety was lost in the conversation. you’re validated by being able to keep the conversation going and getting a woman interested in you back © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. Loser. whoever it is.com again. most guys don’t have a problem keeping conversations with somebody they just know they’re not interested in. Think of the one person that you have no problem talking to. loser. Safety is probably the reason why you feel safe with that person. would you be really be having the same problem? Why not? That’s the thing I want you to think on. somewhere it suddenly stopped being safe for you to talk to that person. it could be your aunt. if it flows. So you now have what we call a thought storm. loser. Safety gives you this sense of—I’m not at risk when I’m talking to them. OK? It could be your mom. they’re not going to point at me and go. because you don’t want her thinking that you’re a loser any way. shape.” It flows because you feel safe in the conversation. start flying through your head and you can’t control what you’re thinking. But you feel somehow more contractually obligated to keep it going with a woman that you’re interested in. You just made an uncomfortable pause in the conversation. loser. there’s a sense of risk and jeopardy and hazard inherent in it. they’re not going to somehow call me out. So if that doesn’t happen or it doesn’t happen in the conversation.
“False Evidence Appearing Real. 3 ----------------------. you know I didn’t mean to but then I started poking in their guts to see what was inside them. you feel like you’re in jeopardy which triggers that lowest part right at the back of your head.” You see what happens. Oh my god.----------------------. a little secret on the side here. They’re constantly in a state of anxiety and nervousness about a lot of the things in their life and knowing that should make you feel a lot more reassured about walking up and talking to her. fear. We’ve been brought up in our society that women are now suddenly empowered and we need to fear them in some way.CarlosXuma. What’s the fear of? It’s the fear of women . everybody has them. LLC. . I’m not talking down about women right now. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. You have no reason to fear women. Another fear you have is the fear of exposure. especially when I get to the special program I’m going to do on how to understand women.Page 29----------------------www. the back of your brain. Here’s another part of the problem. I’m at risk. it’s what we call the impostor syndrome. Oh yes. We need to fear the “diva” or fear this women empowerment thing.com And you also feel exposed. aaahhh. And oh my God. Women by large are much more scared than you or I will ever be. I’ve got to take care of the situation. You know those really dark things that we have in our life. it’s getting longer and she’s looking at her watch.Page 28----------------------www. something about—Oh I can’t remember any of this now. right? It goes out of control. “Oh what should I say? What was that routine I read online? It was a cool one too. that lizard brain part of you that’s fight or flight and tells you.CarlosXuma. Every single person has done something dark or thought something dark.guys are just plain afraid of women. The impostor syndrome means that we all go around feeling like somebody’s going to see through this exterior person I created and they’re going to see all those dark thoughts I’m having inside my head. “Oh no.com All those times I thought about masturbating over a Sears catalogue or the time I killed that frog.” It’s the highest form of anxiety because we actually think that our physical wellbeing is being threatened. That’s what fear stands for in some circles. you now feel at risk. Safety is the critical factor in you feeling better about the conversation and not letting them fall into those uncomfortable pauses when you don’t know what to say and you go back up to your head and you’re like. It’s a psychological confusion that the brain doesn’t know the difference about. In fact. what I’m talking about is this over bloated perception we have about women.
The R in real. you can’t be resourceful with what you’re talking about with a woman. And L is lifestyle and lasting. You cannot be resourceful if you’re constantly in anxiety especially when you’re in fear. that’s nicely applicable here. . The R again. The A is authentic and alpha. First of all. Most relevant to what we’re talking about. huh? The fear to being exposed or the whole impostor syndrome also stops us from being real. And now the E is effective and energized. keeping yourself out of risk.CarlosXuma.com Alright. You probably know my acronym by now but I’m going to go over them again because it’s very important. REAL. What about ego? Ego slips in too. of course. You have to maintain that level of relaxation in you that allows you to draw out the best parts of you. Wow. crazy stuff this evolutionary thing. the less smoothly your conversation is going to flow. but be a real person in front of her. the less smoothly your conversation will flow because you’ll be falling back on ego protection mode. so that’s the fear aspect. not letting down the facade in some way. right? The E is energized. what we’re talking about the part where the problem itself. Well. let me go back to the R. If you’re more focused on protecting or proving yourself. because this is probably the biggest point of a problem that you need to know. is relaxed and resourceful. Very important. 4 ----------------------. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. forget the rest of the word. relaxed and resourceful. The first. If you are more focused on protecting or proving yourself. your acceptance and validation as a man is built into your ego and that masculinity is such a big part of the problem when it comes to talking with women especially when we go back to awkward silences. You won’t feel comfortable revealing your true personality if you feel like you have to protect something.And our biggest fear is that that’s going to be exposed to other people and then we’re going to be shamed and then we’re going to be driven out of the tribe. relaxed and resourceful.Page 30----------------------www. That’s really what we’re talking about. letter R. the problem is that all of those factors are affected and impacted by your ability to be not just real in terms of that little acronym I gave you. LLC. Masculinity is a big part of your ego. It’s a big part of your identity. the core of what I teach. keeping yourself away from harms way. Let me say that again. All of the problem is about not being relaxed in a conversation with a woman.
just a little bit of a trace. the conversation will flow and you won’t run into the uncomfortable pauses. that somebody else who hadhad this perfect training. What we really need to do is keep trying. So there’s something that you don’t know yet. Very important distinction. because you don’t them all. LLC. Unless you’re failing and this is something that happens at the start of the conversation. this goes back to what I said that the ego about protecting yourself. Let’s say that you just unplugged from the conversation and you just stepped back a little bit. like that. You only want the ones that are going to work for you and going to add to the quality of your life. 5 ----------------------. the fear of rejection.CarlosXuma. Again. maybe it’s the blankness in your stare. Another part of the problem is rejection. maybe the moment is right to tell her. OK? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you probably caught yourself doing this. Those little things communicate that you’ve disconnected from the conversation and she won’t even consciously recognize it. A part of her will pull back on the . you’re at that moment of being maybe slightly vulnerable. If you think about what you’re going to be saying while she’s talking. We all know that rejection is in there. Don’t change anything. Being in the moment.What do you think ego protection mode makes you do? It makes you do things that disconnects you from the woman. It’s our fear of rejection. you’re now killing the potential for attraction because she’s reading the small body cues that you’re giving off. this perfect pick-up artist training would have avoided it. don’t change anything. statistically speaking you’re not going to get them all. I know you have because I’ve done it all the time. because going to want are In the moment. Forgive me. When you’ve able to focus on her in the conversation on what’s happening between you. guys think that when they get a bad reaction from a woman. just a little part of her will go. It makes you stop when. just a little note here because this might help you. If you’re thinking about what you’re going to say next while she’s talking.” I’ve done that with a woman and I feel that little “forgive me” on the end of it as like a way of me throwing myself at her feet but not in a begging sort of way.Page 31----------------------www. right? Unless you’re failing more than 75% of your approaches with women. this is another part of the problem. Go buy another book. You may not be able to see tha t on this camera but my eyes just kind of traced over on the side just a little bit and then come back or a waitress passes by and I watched her for a second and I looked back at her. Trust me on that one and that’s OK. because what happens is.” it’ll pull back. You’re not get them all. I came over her and I thought I was going to say a whole bunch of clever stories and I’m totally lost. You better go learn it.com We know that isn’t true. “Huh. “You know what. maybe your eyes go. They wouldn’t have had that problem but you did.
the sixty-forty. that’s what this program’s here for. “Oh no. There are number of ways and I’m going to tell you how to do it. The reality is that. She doesn’t want to feel like you made it happen because that makes it weird and stilted and artificial. I do have this attraction. ironically.com Where you don’t feel like you’re unplugging and tapping into your routine mechanism. You didn’t make this happen. Now. First of all. whatever that may be.” That feels weird. So it’s just as important for her to feel safe in the conversation as you. marginally helpful. First of all.CarlosXuma. “It just clicked with him. sometimes it doesn’t. LLC. they just memorize a shit load of techniques and they hope that that’s going to cover them. A woman wants to feel your conversation that you’re having with her is being like destiny and it just happened from inside her and not coming from you. It’s good to have a few that you know and that you have pull out. But if you have a lot of stuff floating around your head. that’s how a lot of guys approach this. you don’t have to think about. . She doesn’t feel safe anymore. See where we’re going there? Craziness ensues. you’re just shooting yourself in the foot.” Not. it’s going to pull back and she’s going to 20 or 10% now because she feels. a little tale on this thing here. “Wow. And. guess what? At risk.Page 32----------------------www. “Oh. after we’ve talked about being in the moment. that’s the solution. So arsenal of techniques. you’re even more anxious than if you’ve never got them in the first place. 6 ----------------------. the way to feel safe in any conversation. You stopped being present and your anxiety actually increases because you have all these material and you can’t use it. you’re clever scripts that you’ve got and things like that. we’ve really pretty much beat up this problem. you have to have to feel safe in any conversation.conversation and make it more difficult on you because she’ll stop giving you the investment. right? She’s going to view that as coming from her to you. my man.” When something fails you that you think you’ve got to solve a problem. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. the fifty-fifty. Sometimes it does.” Well that click. OK? Now you want solutions and that’s what I’m here for. having these will make you fail more often than not. Too much information keeps you up in your head working up here rather than being in the moment. that psychological sound of clicking or the psychological interaction or click with another person is nothing more than the naturalness of the conversation. If it feels like it just happened and that she was a part of it and it came from inside her and she’s like. I don’t know what it was but we just clicked together. let’s hit it hard. You probably hear that phrase quite a bit. let’s hit it. Then you forget the techniques and you become more anxious. I better use it for him. he just gave me some attraction. having all these techniques that you’re using. She wants to feel that things clicked. first of all you can have an arsenal of techniques to fall back on.
this is what they’re thinking in their head. LLC. you’re not helping me at all.” It doesn’t matter. I highly recommend for you. Actually there’s a great book called Introducing NLP. I’ve got a Yoda doll. 7 ----------------------. Your mind will undermine you if you don’t believe it. I don’t know why I’m saying it. Another good book for you to use is a book called Slide of Mouth. all of which are valid. This is a good one. These are affirmations that you are connected to that you actually chose the words for it. you little plastic piece of shit. So what I’m talking with you here are the most valid tools. affirmations will do the work for you like a champ but you’ve got to put some energy in it. The difference in an affirmation and an anthem is how much effort and work you’re willing to make to do it. Use anthems. there’s lots of different ways that guys do this. you believe. Affirmations in the classical sense. Control over your state. I am smart enough and darn it people like me. I know a lot of guys have had success with hypnosis. they hear something cool that somebody said and they listen to it and they say it out loud. “I don’t believe anything that I’m saying.com I will tell you this though and the fact of the matter is that everything works if you work it. They’d do it through hypnosis. These are emotionally driven affirmations. “I am good enough. I could have this little guy in an amulet in my pocket and my belief that I invested in him would actually make that conversation. This is an excellent way to have this feeling of safety in any conversation. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. It’s not easy to use so don’t expect it to be a handbook and immediately understand NLP. Is it really helping? I don’t know.Control over your state. This is my personal method of using affirmations. Again. everywhere I go and make him part of the conversation. they’ve used self hypnosis tapes. You could make—I’ve got a little guy put up on my monitor. Affirmations. it’s what I make. Primarily because most people do affirmations like this. I don’t really adore this very much although they’re still better than nothing. I’ll have no problem with conversations with women.” And after a while they started saying. Right?” Well you know what? It’s actually true. work. I am smart enough and darn it people like me. it will work for you. That’s why use what I call Anthems. I’d do better in it.Page 33----------------------www.CarlosXuma.” Even what they’re saying in their words. It doesn’t work that way. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P . I am good enough. something that I’ll give you in the resources. “If I take this Yoda doll with me. NLP is also a valid tool. You do that. “Damn you. Some things are a little more valid than others. they do it through affirmations. it’s up to you to decide but I can make Yoda work for me or I could have him and think. they’ve used the binaural ones where one’s playing in one ear and one’s playing in the other. If you believe in it and make it work.
roductions, LLC. 8 ----------------------- Page 34----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com Most guys don’t - most guys don’t want to of that stack right now, you’re way above do help themselves or improve themselves. to be all coarse about it but that’s just do shit man, you’re way on top those guys because they won’t They’re lazy as all fuck. I hate the way it is.
And by sheer fact that you’re sitting here and learning from me working on this stuff, you’re already way ahead of the pack, you’re ahead of 90% of them. So if you’re willing to do it and I know you are. I encourage you to take some of those affirmations you may have heard and turn them into anthems. A lot of my programs talk about that and I’m not going to that deep here, again we’re not going into deep inner game, I want to keep real tools. Simplified tools. This is my preferred solution, OK? And I’m putting it here to emphasize that you can have this arsenal of techniques or you can have simplified tools. I say simplified tools because when they work, they will give you a boost of confidence. A very simple opener that works every time that will give you a boost of confidence the second to none. The more confidence you have, the more you begin to use it. The better you get at using it, the more positive results you get then you go back and you use it again and again and again and it gets better and better and it doesn’t matter what you say after a certain point. You start changing the words, you start coming up with stuff, you pull out of your butt, you don’t even know where it came from and it works. So simplified tools are always the best thing. If it’s complicated, if it’s convoluted, if it’s hard to understand in any way, shape, matter or form, do not use it. It won’t work. Another way to feel safe in conversations because we’re talking about the safety element, you want to feel safe. Remove the woman’s ability to lower your value or masculinity. Take away her license to reject you. This is what I’m talking about. Take it away from her. She doesn’t deserve it. She isn’t qualified to hold it. Only you are. If you give that to her, if you give her the ability to make you feel of low value or low masculinity, it’s your own fault, alright? Take it back. You keep it and you control how you invest yourself in the conversation. Very important. False time constraint. This is—I still think that this is one of the most effective tools and it comes from the old pick-up stuff, right? False time constraint means you give her a time constraint by saying, “Look I’m not going to be here very long, so don’t worry,” it answers the questions in her head, “How long is this guy going to sit here and bug me?” And the same © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 9 ----------------------- Page 35----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com time it creates a certain level of abundance on your part because you don’t seem like you’re needy.
You’re not just clinging to her because she’s the only person there to talk to, “You’ve got a few minutes? I’m going to leave but I had to ask you...” So a false time constraint is a great way to make yourself feel safe when you’re going in a conversation because at any point, you can just pull the plug on the chute and eject right out. Alright, so there’s the first one. You want to find ways to feel safe in conversations. Here’s another one. Focus on fast exchanges. What do I mean by this? Remember what we’re talking about here is always going back to avoiding the awkward silences that’s the part of the conversation that we’re talking about. Even though I may go into general terms, we’re talking about the awkward silence when it comes up. One great technique for that to avoid it is to focus on fast exchanges with a woman. No more than 20 seconds is the time when you talk to a woman. You’re not going to talk for a longer than 20 seconds, alright? It may even come to the point where you want to talk more but you can’t—you know you’ve been talking for too long and you need to stop yourself and then you’d get her to talk. What that will do is it will build up a kind of a reserve of energy. You suddenly stop yourself from talking too much, now you’ve got something to say when it comes time to talk again. So that’s going to bottle up in your head. You’re going to feel that as being a positive pressure. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s kind of a satiric concept but it’s kind of, it’s like, I didn’t empty my tank so I want to go back to the gas station and I don’t need that much to fill it again. I’m not going to feel I’m running dry on conversation all the time because I’m stopping myself. I’m keeping my part of the conversation to a minimum to make sure that she contributes the maximum. Try it sometime. Try timing yourself. Let’s see what 20 seconds’ really is. Take your watch out and just sit there for 20 seconds. Time it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 10 ----------------------- Page 36----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com Do you think you could say something meaningful in that space of time? I think you can. I think you can probably say quite a bit. Maybe too much. So again, keep your investment in conversation short like that because number one, it helps her keep talking. Number two, it also helps you stop from over talking, alright? And it will keep you bottled up with some reserves. Focus on emotional content within the conversation. This helps you avoid those silences because when you’re talking about facts, you’re talking about details, things that are very particular that she’s not that crazy or interested in. You’re going to kill the conversation for you in the start because there’s nothing there for her to burn in terms of fuel. Emotional content in a conversation is very important because facts will get you talking, they’ll start you talking but emotions are the goal of the conversation. We talk to other people to start an energy loop between us and them. I’ve talked about this in my couple of other programs and I’m not
going to go into deep, deep game here but remember that when it comes to interacting with another person socially, you’re creating a feedback loop with that person. Every time you open your mouth and start talking to them, you start getting a vibe and then you start saying things and you feedback off of each other. It creates a closed loop of experience. And you can start with that conversation with something very basic like facts or small talk like we say, “Hey, how’s the weather? Oh I don’t know,” that’s not emotional. When you get emotional then the conversation starts to get a whole new life. And those spaces don’t happen because the emotions carry you between in the gaps. When a woman mentions an emotion, that’s your clue, dig deeper. There a gold mine, there’s like a little glint of gold at the very top and then there’s a whole vein of gold underneath that. As soon as you see that she’s talking about emotion. You know, you ask her what she’s doing and she’s like, “Oh, I’m OK, a little tired.” “Why are you tired?” “Oh, it’s just kind of emotionally exhausting, you know? I was kind of sad that my dog died about 2 months ago and I, I’m not so sad about the dog, © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 11 ----------------------- Page 37----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com now I’m sad about finding a new dog because that new dog is going to remind me of my old dog and I can’t choose.” See where I’m going here? Suddenly you started a spark because you chased the emotion not the facts. Alright? Very important. And I also wonder how it is I’m able to have these conversations like that sometimes I feel like I’m a channelling chick, some sort of chick channelling ability. Keyword tennis. I just did it for you. I just gave you an example, listen for the words in what she says and ping-pong off of it or tennis off of it. The way you do it is, whatever she says to you, listen for one word to repeat, alright? So you’re starting to talk with her and I’m going to use some basic examples, you’re in a bookstore, and she picked up a book, maybe she’s got one of those Harry Potter books and then she says, “Oh yeah, I got one of these books, I want to go look through it, I have this niece of mine that was really into Harry Potter and she really likes the movies,” and you’ve got a whole ton of stuff there, what did I just give you? First of all, she talks about the niece, that’s the first place I would go, “A niece, oh really? Is it your sister’s child or your brothers? Oh OK.” See, and then start to tap into the emotions because girls who have nieces or nephews or any kind of niece or nephew relationship, they’re very keen on
You’ve got the books. “Oh. She’s so adorable and she’s a little young now. So it’s a big emotional contact there. “Look at that. 12 ----------------------. How to keep the conversation going? Laugh at the elephant. This technique by the way is something I learned from the immeasurably. “Oh did you see the last movie? What did you think of that? How did you feel about it?” You find the words. it’s like NLP thing. The little triggers keep it going for her. You can laugh at it together. don’t call one when it doesn’t feel like it. I’m totally out of conversation. The Harry Potter thing.” Flip it back. “Oh. and she doesn’t quite understand everything. invaluably brilliant scene in Pulp Fiction where Uma Thurman and John Travolta are in that restaurant and they’re talking about whatever and then there’s a pause. I mean like a second or two. it’s like a poke in the ribs that keeps her going. “Don’t you hate that?” “What?” “Uncomfortable silences. Very important. you start telling me something. a lot of guys worry about keeping a conversation going. I don’t like to call them that because they’re not really comfortable for me anymore. Start telling me about yourself. Coming back to our main topic which was awkward silences because that’s what we’re talking about. if you genuinely can’t come up with something and you start feeling that anxiety. and she’s like. That’s kind of the thing in parenthesis here.” And then you put the burden back on her shoulders. you’ve got the movies. “Niece.” All I said was.” Put it back on her.” and she starts talking again. Laughing at the elephant means there’s an elephant in the room. You say. Make her contribute to the conversation. Harry Potter?” Sometimes all it takes is just one word.com Laugh at the elephant. it’s one of the one’s I’m going to include in my little . that’s the uncomfortable silence right there. right? This is the one tactic that I use on every single silence that comes into a conversation and works every time.” It’s a great scene. you grab on to the words and bat them right back. my brother’s little girl. “Niece. give it some time.it it’s because they are as close as they’re going to get to their own children. This is the one strategy I use every single time that one of those uncomfortable silences comes up. LLC. point it out.Page 38----------------------www. this is one of those uncomfortable silences.CarlosXuma. “OK. I don’t want to get nervous about it.” “Yeah. right? If there’s a pause in the conversation for whatever reason. you can look at it. you go. I must have not filled up 98 octane conversations this morning. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. You tell me about yourself. put the onus back on her.
movie breakdown and it emphasizes that that is the brilliant way to take the piss out of a moment like that. it’s movie feelings that will keep you in the conversation with her. Food is an awesome conversational thing. “So tell me. that tribute they were doing on Michael Jackson. 13 ----------------------. I would get nervous and be like. LLC. what did you have on that sticky?” Here’s what I had on it: One word: food. You see it. I would have a list of things to talk about. I know exactly what I’m going to talk about when I get back with her. Right at the top of my tongue. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. It’s not movie facts.” I’d go back to her and I already got this conversation ready to flow.com Have a fall back. I need to ask her about her hobbies. You’re no longer resourceful. watch out for movie facts.” And I’d go off to the bathroom and either on my phone or on my sticky that I’d folded up and put on my wallet. what’s your favorite food? Because I don’t think they cook some of the best stuff here. So you’re probably asking.” Movies. I’d say. I would go and take a bathroom break.” “Oh yeah. I was probably babbling by myself.Page 40----------------------www. I’ll be right back though. This is one of those things that has kept me in the car that kept me thinking. Pop culture make me immediately go. Everybody likes to talk about movies. you expose it for what it is and you go. wow. you’ll relax when resourcefulness kicks in. duh.Page 39----------------------www. Don’t steal my beer. What do I mean by a fall back? I actually did this for a long time before starting to learn from this stuff. I think it might be like an Irish-English mix because this is kind o f a pub. what did I just see this morning? And that entertainment weekly thing. So I had a sticky in my wallet with a whole bunch of questions on it and a couple of topics.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I know I’m supposed to be talking right now and she’s still talking but I don’t know what to talk about. “Oh. “Carlos. “Oh. “Oh. just don’t get caught up quoting lines from movies and again. yes. 14 ----------------------. There’s a whole bunch of drama in those. Because inevitably. “OK.CarlosXuma. LLC. “Excuse me for a second.” You get nervous and again. Her hobbies. What is it that she does?” Pop culture. I’ve got to go to the John.CarlosXuma.com .
” Or I can just go.So then you’d say. “Which friend? What place . what do you mean? Why are you telling me this story?” She doesn’t care. Just having a few power questions on hand that I may not have asked. you would ask me that? Of course I’d do it. A woman doesn’t want an excuse from you. See you. 15 ----------------------.” and then you’ll start telling your story. Again. one of the great dilemma questions was. my mom’s texting me again. she’s doesn’t going to go and say. that would always help me quite a bit too. “Did it bum you out about Michael Jackson? What was your favorite song about him? Really? Does that the one that made you feel?” Music. kind of related to Pop culture but it gives you a different angle to go down. Latch on to the things that she says that are kind of vague. it’s a great way to get a conversation going. You’ve got to probe into whatever it is that she’s talking about. food. we’re going to have a story telling module in this class.” Very vague.com Active questioning also keeps you there and present in the conversation. don’t interrupt her conversation just for the sake of interrupting but you can really draw deeper into it by saying. And I would also have a few power questions on that card. but do I know this girl? Will I ever get the chance to meet her?” They want to change the rules. she just want you to tell the story. “Oh God. you can sit there and go. A lot of women say things in very general terms. “So I’m out with my friends at this place. You can put it also on your phone now. I’ll give you an example. how she feels about it. what kind of food do you like?” Have a story or two to throw into the mix.” Because some indicator will show up and she’ll know it’s for real. So there you go. “So. wait a minute. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Having a good story or two to throw in at the right moment is excellent because at any moment when you start detecting that little pause and that little silence.CarlosXuma. so make sure you’re using active questioning. I’ve also got an Iphone and I have this clever little application that allows me to time it to ring me 15 or 20 minutes into a date and I can trigger it and can give me a reason to look at my phone whether it’s to say. Oh. It’ll give me a chance to look at. those are the things that I would keep on my little cheat card and it’s a fall back. Find a way of talking about music that she’s into. right? Don’t let it just go like that. “I’m sorry. LLC. “You know what? I’ve got to get going. Having a few stories ready and again.Page 41----------------------www. She’ll say something like. “Wait. “Oh. “Would you have like a big tattoo all over your left arm to save the life of a child you will never meet from another country?” And almost everyone would go. keep it in your wallet. Things like. That’s all you need to do to tell your story. you know what? I just totally remembered something.
I know I may not have explained that. So again. I liked that movie. I guarantee it. If you could make her feel comfortable through it.Page 42----------------------www. that’s the way I would end most of my conversations whenever I run into one of these awkward silences. alright? Not every conversation is going to be a massive epiphany or a fantastic bonding experience. “What was your favorite part? Who was your favorite actor or actress?” Keep pulling more information because that’s what’s going to keep it going. right? You mentioned a movie that she liked and then she says. very important because you’re removing risk when you control this end bookmark. OK? Very. I like that movie.” It always happens. you control the closing. Alright? At some point or another. but the reason I said they are necessary by the way. “Oh. You have to know how to manage it. “Oh you know what? I’d love to sit and talk to you all night but I was just about to ask you about something but I’ve got to get going.” You’ve got to draw more out of her. LLC. OK? Don’t let her get away with just the. by the way. those train you for much more advanced conversational ability. “Oh.” Alright? So probe in. And in fact.com enough. you control the opening. totally uncertain to you and it’s no risk at all because you control. if you go long © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. You’ve got another chance. Anything that happens in between doesn’t matter. because they will happen in every single conversation. Gives you a chance to recharge. be more specific with it because every time you do that. Being able to manage them and get past them is important. Some of them are just going to be very short and . you have the ultimate end game and the ultimate solution to any conversation that is not flowing or has a lot of these silences in it.where you at? Was that during the week or during the weekend?” Get details. And that is to simply end it. And then. “Whooh. right? Another example. when you jump in the pool and when you get out.” Pretty vague. Whatever she says that’s vague gives you an opportunity to really actively question her about whatever it is you’re talking about. she’s going to remember more it that keeps her talking and gives you more to latch on to bat back to her by using that tennis thing. It can be totally vague. the reason the silences are necessary is because that when those come up. ask her details. And the other necessary part is. ending the interaction on your own terms. it will happen. you’re a winner. “I like that movie. you need to be able to end it. she’s watching you to see how you handle it. there’s a point where you’re going to go. 16 ----------------------. you have the control.CarlosXuma. Maybe you’re just done for the night. ask her to give you more. what’s your phone number so that we can maybe connect and talk again?” Boom. Book ends on the conversation. And that’s what gives you the right to go. you have the ultimate veto my friend. Maybe this is all this conversation’s going to go and you want to end it on a good note.
LLC. Focus on fast exchanges so that you’re not talking very long. See you in the next module. we’re going into storytelling. First and foremost. We just solved one of the big problems that guys have had since God knows when. There you go. we had our first we made it through. not the facts. And whether it’s at the start or at the end of an awkward silence. the more things are going to be triggered in your head that builds up potential conversation for you.” All that does.com Make sure you point it out. Make sure you’re asking her for more details than she’s giving because that keeps her more engaged and gets her to invest more in the conversation.Page 43----------------------www.sweet.” and have something to grab on to.Page 44----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com Have a fallback which is have something in your wallet. 18 ----------------------. 17 ----------------------. doesn’t matter. And responses that you can get to her and questions that you can ask. A little view here. women all the time and oductions. And that will keep you feeling safe as well as in the conversation when you want to. point out the fact that and be like. “Oh cool. my niece. alright? Next module. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “Blah blah blah. The more she talks. Laugh at the elephant. they think it’s hysterical. some of the ways to solve this problem for the necessary awkward silences that you’re going to run into and how you’re going to keep a conversation going. Harry Potter. Do the keyword tennis that I was talking about. that you’ve practiced that you can throw it in at any moment. I’m done.” I do that with they love it. pick up words that she says in your head and. is it gives you the moments where it gives you. you control it. “Ping. Active questioning.CarlosXuma. 2. LLC. That’ll get you through some pauses too. 1. there are pauses there uncomfortable silence. have a way to feel safe in a conversation. Focus on the emotional content. And then when all else fails. blah blah blah. blah blah. So there you go. The uncomfortable silence and it’s really not difficult once you get the hang of it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . Have a story or two ready to go that you’ve memorized. you are the one that says. High five. because then you’ll be able to relax and you’ll be able to fill in those gaps easier.” You’ll unplug and you’re done and you finish the conversation on your terms. the necessary elements and what kind of story you want to create. a cheat sheet. ping. you’re showing the initiative. “OK. buy a new car. How about that? We’re going to talk about how to create your story.
I’m going to give you not only the basics and fundamentals but some deep rooted understanding of how storytelling works. 3. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1.CarlosXuma. We’re going to cover story telling.YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. how to start using it. storytelling is an essential skill to have... we’re going there for visual entertainment with a story.Page 45----------------------www. material. look at theatre. 2. In any conversation with a woman or in any conversation with any group. You simply can’t do without it these days. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. I’m going to explain in a little bit why. we’re going to talk about what it is. specific tools and exercises and then how to use it within the context of a conversation or how to bridge in to storytelling. it . welcome to the storytelling module of this program. look at movies for example. woman and child on this planet. A lot of the guys aren’t very secure or sure how to bridge into a story. 1 ----------------------. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. I’m going to talk about the critical elements. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. LLC. 3. We’re going to cover storytelling today. that’s what we’re going there for.com MODULE 4: How to Use Storytelling Hey. because it’s one of those things built into the primal mechanism of just about any man. We love stories. it’s Carlos Xuma. why it works and how you leverage it and use it when you’re learning how to talk with women. I mean. So let’s go into it. 2.
You want a thick chain. OK? It doesn’t have to be a storytelling situation.Page 46----------------------www. it’s the one thing that pulls a woman into a conversation and it’s the one reason that she’ll stay there and talk to you above and beyond any other guy in the bar.” right? It’s not that hard and I’m going to show you how. yeah. emotion. “Once upon a time. LLC. the most important part of the conversation is how well you leverage and use emotion in the conversation. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. 1 ----------------------. there’s like this filament that’s coming out of your sternum and it’s connecting to her sternum and that filament represents the connection between you two. in the anything that you happen to be at or if you happen to be meeting her or talking to her. when she talks about anything. a thick conduit between you and her. It’s a transfer of energy. I don’t know. you don’t want that. how you want that connection? What do you want for that filament? Do you want it to be a thin thread that’s barely glowing. you can ask one question and immediately pull her in closer. that’s black? No.com And as far as emotions. she’s going to immediately get much more engaged in the conversation. It’s the one thing that grounds a woman. When you’re talking with women. It’s kind of an NLP trick there.CarlosXuma. You .” And you know. emotion. And when you think about your own stories. back and forth. I was kind of sad about it really. First is. I don’t know why. Well. in the party. emotion. OK? Very important to know. “How did you feel about that?” How did you feel about that? How did that make you feel?” Asking that one question will immediately create a much more solid connection between you and her. You’re going to establish a much more solid line. So ask again this one question. I can’t just emphasize that enough. So asking this one question. The critical elements of storytelling. Let’s start with the critical elements. in the club. That’s one thing. So think about emotions when you’re thinking about storytelling. “How did you feel about that?” At any point of the conversation. there’s one simple thing that you can say in any point at a conversation. where you get them to talk about the emotions you want them to feel. you’ll see her kind of like fall into state as she starts to reconnect with the emotions. it really did get me down. this question is very important. she’ll say. She’ll start talking more frankly with you and it doesn’t happen instantly.seems like it might be a little bit weird to suddenly start saying. It connects you and binds you. you know I always use the metaphor of when you’re talking to a woman. And you’ve got to think about that. Emotion. any event that’s happened to her. I cannot emphasize that enough. all these little lights are going to turn on inside her head. I want you to memorize this one. “You know. you ask this one question and she’s going to immediately have.
it was really wild. it was kind of one of those Braille books for the blind. they’re not going to care.should be thinking about. But if I talk about the emotions I had as certain things were happening. Very. the event that happened. it was really wild when you ran your hand across it.CarlosXuma. So it’s not about facts or logic. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. well then I’m going to have a lot more to talk about. I know it’s going to sound a little weird. And I think about it but I also think about it now in terms of the emotional content. the point of the story is to take her on an emotional journey. it goes back to the emotion thing. because if I tell that to a woman in terms of the facts of what happened. those are important details but again it goes back to what emotions do those details bring out? But knowing details within the story and knowing which details to use are very important. LLC. she can see a car’s color from a thousand feet away. Now. honesty. Again. that’s up to you but the point here is emotion. 2 ----------------------. when I’m describing a car. your stories are not about facts or logic. it wasn’t meant to be smooth. Anything that she can see.” That. the better that detail. however you’ll do that. touch. we can see from far away but what if I brought up a detail about. the closer to her body physically that they would have to come to be a part of that story. it’s not about facts or logic. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.com And then. you wouldn’t believe.Page 47----------------------www. or what you can really come to grips with.Page 48----------------------www. that’s a totally different sensory state to put her into. very important for stories and it’s not just the details of what was the color of the car or how long was her hair or what was the weather at the time. again. it was on purpose. Keep that in mind. Details. In other words. This is a really important thing and I . Alright. LLC. Remember. the car’s finish had this kind of bumpy like finish to it. feel. I’ve got a great story about the playboy mansion when I went to go visit there. it’s the only reason you’re telling the stories is to communicate emotions.com You know. Bring those details close to her as much as you can. 3 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. So emotions are the primary part of your stories. Remember that. “How did you feel about that?” Whatever it was. the most important ones to use are emotional details but also sensory details. even in the fiction. So think about that. She’s not really engaged or involved there. emotion. I can tell you what color it is. “Oh. she would have to imagine physically touching it and being there connected to that car. emotion.
It can’t be trying to trick the reader or the viewer. I’m trying to think about a good example for you. It’s what they call the truth. it’s like a realization about your own life.Page 49----------------------www.” I can just visualize that for a second and be like that moment and you’re having like. the best authors. How about reading about that Stephen King book? He’s good at this. the most important thing about for us that really makes it resonate. he has this moment of truth in his book when you read it you’re like. “Oh. the best writers in the world know that there’s one thing that sets the story apart from all the other stories. using that truth. do I mean that they’re telling the truth that it’s not really fiction? No. but the best fiction. I felt like I’ve been gypped and I’ve been messed with. he said.” Right? It’s just like tripping over a basket of laundry. LLC. if you haven’t seen the movie. it doesn’t have to be true but has to be honest. 4 ----------------------. I don’t want to give way too much here. I think it was called “Next” with Nicholas Cage and by far it was not one of his best efforts. it’s just an important thing. “Oh. you can read a of those dime store novels that are just pulp.CarlosXuma. But in the movie. It was entertaining on a certain level but at some point in the movie. When it comes to stories. Trust me.” it’s like you’ve had an epiphany. He was talking about how this guy had just gone through a tragedy and it was a couple of weeks later but he was still in the throes of grief. And you feel gypped and ripped off when that happens. you kind of forgot for a moment that this horrible thing happened to you. Now. I feel like I’ve been tricked. The people .haven’t for the a story hundred heard anybody else talk about this. you can read forward a little bit. If you can find this truth in any story and either create a moral or a kind of a point to your story. when we say the truth. Because it was fairly entertaining up until that point but that was like. But he described it like this. that’s not what I’m talking about. I remember one. you remember it. There’s a movie I saw recently. I don’t know if it was about the loss of his wife or whatever it was. “Oh. And that’s what you’re looking for in all of your stories. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. Kind of like tripping over a basket of laundry you know need to do. there’s an unbelievable impact that it will have on your stories. “It was like waking up and then you start going about your day. and that’s this little level of honesty and truth that’s inside the story.” and connect with in a heartbeat. And I think that was probably the one thing that hurt the movie the most.com So remember that it’s honesty even inside the fiction. So you’re probably hearing this first time. I almost forgot how much in pain I am. I mean. That’s a moment of truth that somebody can really grab on to and go. they bring you back and it turns out he was just actually imagining all that stuff happening in his head. the end of it where you bring up what you’ve learned from that experience. and then suddenly in your head. what happens is there is a whole long sequence where you think you’re following along with the story and then suddenly. right? They’re just entertainment.
What is storytelling? Storytelling communicates your personality. Nobody will believe you. You should be able to but you can’t. all that might be true but by you telling her like that. Alright? You can exaggerate elements but keep it pretty much on the level.who made the movie are going. It gives you depth and background. It picks things back up again. You’re telling the story so that you can communicate things about you to a woman that you wouldn’t normally be able to.com mechanism and showing the things about you without telling her directly. You communicate things about your personality. “Hah. OK? Real important. She’s immediately doubtful about you . It also like I said. she’s not going to believe you. So storytelling is like a subtle way of going around that © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. 5 ----------------------. It’s the weirdest thing. not just some guy that walked into the bar to pick up a chick. it better be pretty true. Storytelling serves a very big purpose and if you have one of those uncomfortable pauses or awkward moments in a conversation and nothing’s moving forward. That’s probably one of the biggest points of storytelling that you have to remember. LLC. go home and get laid. enough said about critical elements. those are the fun stories but when you’re telling her a story about your life that you want to communicate to her. I mean fictional stories are fun. you can pull one of these stories out and it’s kind of like an octane boost to the conversation. I am the perfect guy for you. it bypasses filters and the shield that a woman has up around her about you. You should be dating me.” Now. You can walk up to a woman and say. It gets them moving and that’s how it fills in gaps. got you!” You don’t ever want to make a person feel like that when you’re telling them your story. those defenses it’ll get through to her like nothing else can.as you should be about her. Most of your brain has actually evolved to be able to tell the difference to figure a person out without them telling you anything about themselves. you’d want to marry me in a year. “I am fantastic. in fact. right? For the most part.and how you say it. makes you a three-dimensional person. It’s very important that this fills in the gap of the conversation.Page 50----------------------www.CarlosXuma. it makes you real. And the only way you can really decipher that person or the only way that she can really figure out you is by reading you from the things you say or what you say . That’s why we construct stories or we create stories about ourselves. Very interesting isn’t it? How we have these complicated layers of work about our genuineness and authenticity that most of our brain has to figure out a person’s authenticity not by what they say but how they act and behave. right? It just sounds so incredulous because you can’t trust somebody to tell you that about themselves. no. So. But that story will bypass those shields. The second somebody walks up to you and says that . all of which are going to be true.
now how do you start using it? First of all. my Mustang. LLC. you know these are some of the little things that I can talk to about myself.com find it and it’s a great way discovering what your strengths are. I’m a guitarist. the Charger.they want to tell you a story. Like.” You recoil and pull away. you can get a cheap copy. “I would like to sell you real estate. The Mustang that I bought. help me buy some clothes. party a little bit. your inclinations. I was just talking about cars. But make a list of the qualities for yourself besides those little personality tests which are very insightful. blah blah blah. I think you can do it even without the book. make a list of all the thing s that you know about yourself. Just thinking about this car makes me think of. if I think about any one of those things. I’m still thinking about getting one of these cars.” When I got my Mustang. it’s the cool Bumblebee Transformer Camaro. this Camaro. But that’s cool because I can talk about the story about that car and suddenly I’m thinking about all the things that happened that day. There’re other different personality tests that’ll be more specific in different ways about who you are. “Oh. it was just about to turn 2006 and I remember that day because I was going to the store to get some—a good friend of mine. I didn’t have a girlfriend at the time. when the second person walks up to you and says. the Camaro. this thing actually unfolds into the Bumblebee from the movie. Another part of this program I think I mentioned a great book called Now Discover Your Strengths. the weaknesses and all that stuff. Yet the person telling the story might be doing the exact same thing. I think I should need a woman’s touch on that. You want to take these strength assessment tests that they have online. have fun. I love Elvis. And I’ve got a story that goes into about what happened that night at the Sky and I had a great time. I can immediately come up with a story about them. It’s got one of those stupid little things. 6 ----------------------. I know Geeky but very cool because I love this design. I’ve got all a bunch of toys on my desk that makes me more creative. to chill and hang out. So that’s what it is. telling you a story about how he wants to sell you real estate. It’s just one of these many different tests you can take to figure out your personality. I want you to make a list of your personal qualities whatever they may be. I bought the car that day and I sat there for .Page 51----------------------www. Like for me for example. I’ve got a little car here on my desk. You can also take a Myers-Briggs test. and that night I was going to sky just go in.That’s interesting because it talks about your personal qualities. you’re kind of like. The list of those personal qualities. here’s my own little Mustang on my desk here. I love to play the guitar. I am also really big on collecting guitars. go online © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I got on New Year’s eve of 2005 to 2006. your strengths. he was going to go to the store with me. I’m big into sports cars or old muscle cars that had been redone in the last few years like the Mustang. CJ.CarlosXuma. I love to do Kung-fu and Karate. things like that. What else? Hey. if you can find that in Amazon. I’m a martial artist. I just wanted to relax.
Most guys give off bravado and these little courageous things they talk about and they talk about a lot of facts and things like that. Communicate adventure and spontaneity. Compassion within the context of a story is essential as a matter of fact because that’s one of the things that a woman’s looking for. That on a turn of a dime. “God. we’re just hanging out. this Beasley station wagon. Even if it’s not necessarily your personality to do that. Compassion is a very important one.Page 53----------------------www. it doesn’t have to be real power like political power or anything like that or even power within the organization that you work in. Here are the things that you want to communicate within the context of a story.CarlosXuma. It’s power of your ability to take the lead. I don’t want you thinking that your power has to be something magnificent or lordly or wield a sword or anything like that. Everybody’s had one of those. and it was about an hour and a half to Niagara Falls and that’s the boundary to Canada. that’s personal power.” Like I remember one night .© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.” And we we’re like. 7 ----------------------. that in itself is power.here’s a story for you some high school buddies and I.com I was living in upstate New York at the time. took around $350 to fill the gas tank. LLC. I’m going out to do something totally off the wall. these are the things that a woman can relate to.Page 52----------------------www. probably got . just playing because it’s just a new car. take ownership. “What?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “Screw it man. when you said. but they don’t talk about compassion or feeling connected to other human beings. You should be communicating that you’re an adventurous person. Even the least empowered of us has power over something at some point in his life.com like an hour. We all jumped in the station wagon. 8 ----------------------. What to communicate. right? And then. do something off the wall. let’s go to Canada. We we’re like. I would give that story more of a point that’s kind of unfocused and scattered but I would pull that together into a story. he has the power to go out and pick up a new skill of some kind. we’re so bored. He has the power to go and learn. LLC. You know. where I grew up. You want to communicate personal power. to put himself in a situation that he’s never gone to before.” So my friend got his sister and his sister’s boyfriend.CarlosXuma. you can just do something different. “Hey. And we’re like. take control of the situation. That’s what compassion is really is about. We’re talking about power that you can use at anytime. you might want to come up with a story that talks about the time when you did. we we’re sitting around in the house just at 10 o’ clock at night and we’re like. then it was me and my friend Chris and my friend John and then Paul was driving.” and we’re not drinking. “Let’s do it.
LLC. Independence and resourcefulness. I’ve got stories for that too . It’s really important to throw in a story about ambition. you can work this into any story like you can stack a bunch of these into one story if possible. you don’t want to do it too much but when you communicate to other women to accept you. I must be able to. this is another element of safety by the way that you would be a very resourceful person. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.CarlosXuma. I like routine. that you would be able to find a way to survive in any situation you’re in. she would not have to worry. If a woman were to be trapped somewhere with you.com You want to communicate that you’re fairly easy going. it was like 1 o’clock in the morning and we’re like. I think this is one of my strengths at the studio is.5miles to the gallon. structured. we drove to Niagara falls. Ambitious. And not . we got to a certain point and we walked across the bridge to go over to the Canadian side and they told us. And I’m willing to accept the fact that sometimes I’m not so easy going but I have to work on that every so often to try and be more easy going. You also want to communicate acceptance by other women or. But ambitious is really important because it shows that you have a certain drive or propulsion within you.that I’m laid back. scheduled kind of guy and I’ve got to admit to you that this is one of the toughest one. So we hung out in the American side. I teach kids martial arts as you probably know or may not know. you can’t come in. that you’re not a rigid.” It’s after 1 o’clock. that you have a certain amount of McGyver in you. you want to be careful on how you do this. that you’re resourceful. What you’re communicating in the story. First of all about how I teach. One of the things that I do. “We’re sorry. too . that you go by your own rule book. or somebody calls this preselected . I am a fairly structured kind of guy. 9 ----------------------. We drove to Canada. it’s moving you forward. “Oh. drove home and that was our joke for the next week.Page 54----------------------www. a little spontaneous story. the mothers. I follow routines because it helps things accomplish in my life and that’s my primary motivator. what I teach and to kick them in the ass to get them moving and learning stuff. “You know that Canada closes at 1 o’clock?” There you go. “What? Are you kidding me? Canada closes?” It was like the joke of the night. you’re not following other people.right?” It’s just another social proof element. really like having their boys study with me because I am very particular. The independence part means that you are self guided that you have your own internal compass.preselected by women. In that strengths assessment that I did. the top 1 that I had was achiever which means that’s my most important strength that says I get stuff done. I think mystery. the women there. Canada closes at 1 o’clock in the morning. that sends a signal to a woman that says. You should be able to communicate that you’re an independent person. other women think that he’s OK.
So guys who come over and see me talking with these hot women would immediately think that I was the alpha of the group. we sure can think of a lot of positive traits to communicate but these are probably the most important. going back to the playboy mansion. write them down in your journal or wherever you have keeping the written information that you’re working on in this course. And they appreciate that because one thing I’ve seen is that every mother hates about her boy when she sees him. Sometimes I’m going to kick you so hard. that’s good enough. Everybody’s got them. “Oh. independence and resourcefulness. easy going and ambitious. hot women and all these poses and things like that. put that in your stories. I’m going to kick you in the ass. That’s an acceptance thing. That you aren’t going to just take what is given to you. I’m going to give you a compliment here and there if you deserve but I’m also going to tell you where you need to improve. that acceptance by those other women actually rubbed off on everybody around me. Ambition. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. the acceptance by other women.” No. look through those power and passion and venture spontaneity. right? Go for the Gusto they used to say. we were really connecting and when other people came to that table. they immediately associated with me as being kind of a leader of that group because of the interaction and the vibe I was giving off by having just talking with these women. You are doing that aren’t you? Good. you know she loves her child but she hates seeing this trait of a boy and that’s a lack of motivation or ambition. 10 ----------------------. these are just some of the things. I’m going to correct you. you want to go out there after it all. with just reading those off made me kind of think down the chain a little bit. . So you can come up with a story that shows your ambitious side. I’m going get my foot stuck up in your ass but I’m going to make sure that this kid gets motivated and moves. so things back up. Women are unbelievably attracted to your level of ambition.com She hates seeing that in her boy because she knows that that’s the one thing that women are attracted to. So find some stories in your life that communicates those traits. like I said. Acceptance by other women. after you do that. Now.CarlosXuma.Page 55----------------------www.like one of those lackadaisical teachers that say. Take a little while. I’m thinking about of a good story. after you’ve figured maybe a story that fits one of those particular areas or use one of those areas. then I want you to find stories in life that communicates those traits. And I’m also going to watch you and if I see you slacking or not very motivated. I was hanging out with a group of women from this company that makes little trading cards. LLC. It was very cool but that’s one of those things that you’ve got to look for and to find stories from your own life. talking to them and I kind of felt like I was on a good level with them. acceptance by other women. I hung out with them for a little while.
com What’s the funniest moment I’ve had? . we can use these and it’s a great way to kind of feed the process. Let me see how it sounds. “Dude. Ask yourself. “Oh man. Again.” you know you can tell they’re not interested. polish and refine it. nothing’s ever happened to me. here’s some questions. What’s the most exciting moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most emotional moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most self-defining moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most embarrassing moment I’ve ever had? What’s the most loving moment I’ve had? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Then I want you to polish and refine your story as you build it and start to tell. as you tell it. I want you to make a short list of life experiences that you had. I guarantee you’ve got some pretty cool stories.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. Call up to somebody to work on the stuff with you and say. it doesn’t it at all. You don’t have to be some wild adventure playboy type.Page 57----------------------www. Here are some exercises that can get you started building some good stories. oh. LLC. The best way I found to do this is to start out with just the core elements of your story and then just wing it a couple of times.Page 56----------------------www.com thought so. maybe you can even exaggerate a little bit to build in. LLC. Make a short list of life experiences you’ve had. you don’t have to be Hugh that has done all these great stuff in his life or one of these guys. What do you mean by winging the story? Try it on your friends. my life’s boring. I want to try this story out on you. You can tell the other parts whether they’re like excited or on the edge of their seat for more. 12 ----------------------. you can tell them that they kind of unplugged or kind of like. no dude. don’t think that you’re story has to be an extreme sport story or extreme adventure story. “Ah. there’s so many that you’ve had.” And then again.CarlosXuma. Those are the things you want to find and tweak within the story. you’ll just probably think. 11 ----------------------.” No.CarlosXuma. You can find quite a bit of life experiences that you can play up. you’re going to get feedback from people. no. it doesn’t have to be extreme.
I was actually working as a camp counsellor for kids. LLC. It’s a good way to come up with good stories about yourself. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I wasn’t probably much older than the kids I was working on with. It’s . Make a list of experiences that tested those qualities in you. I’ve had had that happen a lot of the times but I think I had it most when I was a kid. Make a list of experiences that brought out those qualities in you. have a lot of activities. I need to do some more stuff so that I can have stories to tell other people. things are boring. like in my case. it can be very normal but you make it extreme in your own way with your emotional content. you don’t even have to buy the damn thing. I’d just felt like the urge to get things done. There’s a reason why romance novels are the top selling books by women. I’ve strapped it to my friend’s roof and drove it home and I was a kayaker for several years. 13 ----------------------. So when you talk about things. “Man. when I got down with the trip.com Again remember. I bought a kayak. Not only they brought them out but they tested you. So there’s a little story there. I want you to look through it. I went out and I got them. it doesn’t have to be an extreme. At that point in my life. So there are stories about needing more stories. So one of the things I’ve kicked myself in the do was to go on this kayaking trip on the ocean and that was a cool trip.” Even that’s a story because that makes you kick your ass out the door and start doing some things. And that is because they use descriptions in there. The bookstore exercise. Look at the way the authors describe things. Go to the bookstore and I want you to pick up a cheesy romance novel. it was my first job. As a matter of fact. So there’re some questions to ask yourself to help you come up with those life experiences that will generate stories. I don’t need to learn that. I want you to look at the descriptions that they have in those books. And I would just get on the lawn mower and get that stuff done and I’d go running over to the guy to get more things to do. but after that was over with. the achiever side of me was an experience that brought out that quality of needing to get stuff done or as I like to call it GSD. you can do this in erotica too because it’s very similar in a lot of ways. You don’t have to read it. they gave me a job continuing for the rest of the summer by working at the town hall and doing clean-up for the county and things like that. you’re just basically saying. “Oh. this helps you come up with stories too. When I didn’t ass to pretty first moved to San Francisco Bay area.CarlosXuma. Write down this list of your qualities. get shit done. sometimes you run into some point in your life that you’re like.Page 58----------------------www. I needed more stories. I was really young. I didn’t have a lot of friends. they’re constructed in a way that appeals to a woman’s psychology and if you’re not studying that sort of thing. kind of crazy I know. I’m not doing much of anything.What are some stories that are needing more stories? In other words.
CarlosXuma. listen to a woman’s conversation. I’m not sure why they put that on there but it’s a trip. they don’t talk about football facts. So go get a cheesy romance novel. I could describe the facts. 14 ----------------------. Women talk about relationships. Another exercise. find ways to describe things. thinking about how you’ll describe something. I © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.the goal I’m going after but I don’t want to learn it. some tarnish. They talk about relationships a lot. It’s got some really good information on that one.” But you do want to reach her on the same wavelength. from the movie? If I was going to describe this. look at how they describe the things in there. how small something was or the facts about it.Page 59----------------------www. And of course. that mane thing brush going across the head. that nosepiece there. Women talk to each other in a certain way. whether it’s in your head or in your journal or wherever you want to do it. Describing things in detail gets you thinking about adjectives. “You know what? This thing reminds me—I can imagine this as being on my head. you don’t have to like it. You’ve got this horse’s hair. they talk about how those football players get along with each other. I could also say. That’s more of a concern to them than anything else. A lot more. emotional content. it was kind of like the “300” thing. LLC. somebody’s swinging a sword. Listen to how women say things and talk about things with each other. I want you to start describing things in detail. . I can do a lot better than that but you get the idea.” Come on. you just have to be able to emulate it. makes it look more antique. I know a great book to get by the way is My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. Obviously it was a very small person wearing it. Another exercise. Go do this one. How they felt about things not how big something was. Here’s a little helmet I got when I was in Greece. when you hear their conversations. “Hey. listen how women talk to each other. it’s like the helmet they used to wear with the brush on top. Not exactly the way a woman does because you don’t want her thinking subconsciously. You’re going to immediately understand how they communicate and how you need to start trying to communicate to them. I really mean this one by the way. it’s the perfect way to learn how women think. it’s got some rust on it. you know.” See what I’m doing? I’m trying to imbue a little more emotional content and detail. I would describe this as being kind of brass. Again. It’s just as good as that bookstore exercise. I’m not just telling you this stuff to blow smoke up your ass and come up with lame little exercises for you to do things. I’m talking to another woman. you’re going to hear a lot of emotions described. buying a romance novel. and the more that you can relate to that mode of communication the better. And just the way that green tarnish kind of accents it.com could have pulled this off or find somewhere a dig in the middle of nowhere in Greece.
Again.” there’s no emotion in it.com details. you’re not going to do that process ever again. not word for word. You lose a lot of life in it. Write down a story of your own. I’ll come back again. Don’t worry. 15 ----------------------. you will. it’s much better if you just memorized the important points and then kind of extemporaneously and just improvisational come up with other stuff to add to it. Do this for 2 to 3 stories. as I’m recalling it. I don’t want you getting into a conversation and then somewhere in your head you think. Have you ever known somebody that memorized something and they recite it back and they say it really quick and they say.Then you need to write down. that’s what I’ve noticed is that I come up with new things that I remembered suddenly from my childhood and I’m instantly. There’s a reason why. Then forget that you actually memorized it. That’s not the point. The meta-skill comes after you do this a couple of times. you’re going to try and match what you memorized. The point is to come up with the important things as much as you can and not get caught up in here trying to pull out the memorization. I say that because again. Bullet points only. like I said. this is the most important exercise that you can do. I won’t just become a random stuff. it’s a better way to relate your story. “blah blah blah. The order of what you want to say and the important details. You want to have 2 or 3 good hip-pocket stories that you can pull out at any given moment and talk about something and you need to listen for words in her conversation. memorize just the order and some of the details then forget that you actually memorized it. memorize only the order and the important © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. After you’ve come down with the process of writing down the story of your own. “Wait a minute. once you do this a couple of times. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . I won’t just come up with a starting stuff and then the ending stuff and then I’ll backtrack. they just memorized it? There’s no emotions there. I don’t want you to do that.” And you feel obligated to recite it like you’re reading some play or some poem that you memorized. just go out and start telling it. LLC.Page 60----------------------www. Because the next time you go out and actually tell the story. bullet points only. sit down. Because you’re going to come up with other stories and you’ll know how to tell them based on having done that before. I know that I a lot of people would give you advice saying you need to write it down word for word.CarlosXuma. It’s really weird. I’m going to talk about that and how you pull it out and how you actually relate it back to the conversation. I’ve got a memorized story that I can use. I’ve got to relate that word for word because I memorized it so just I would be able to do that. because then you’re going to feel like you need to memorize it word for word and that’s going to put you back up in your head. I’ll know how to tell the story based on how I’ve learned to tell a story.
that reminds me of. The shorter the better.com about.” again..Page 61----------------------www. There’s a lot of stuff that kind of hinted that. 16 ----------------------. Believe me. Hockey. . In other words. I want to get your opinion on something.. “Whoa. Feed off of the keyword in something she says that reminds you of your story.big on hockey..Page 62----------------------www. keep them short at first. wait a minute. I was talking to my friend about starting that and I remembered. that story I have about going to Canada and closing at 1 o’clock. really improve your stories once you start telling them. That doesn’t connect with what I was talking © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. is to start to relive the experience of whatever it is you’re telling. Channel that experience and emotions.” I can come up with that one.CarlosXuma.. It’ll just come up out of the blue. “You know. “as you’re saying that you reminded me..oductions.com I will actually know how to relate a story saying it. “Oh. say something like. she wants to hear your stories so she’s going to immediately go along with it. that way you don’t have a lot of stress about telling a big long story and the other person doesn’t have to get bored with you trying to tell the big long story. “Hey Carlos. and this is how you actually bring it into the conversation if you’re worried about. if a woman mentions anything about Niagara Falls. Toronto and I’m thinking of all these areas that relate back to my memory of that story. naturally. For example. LLC. upstate New York or Canada. It’s really weird but if you do of your own and you’ll see what I mean. Here’s how you actually use stories in your conversation..” and start your story. That’s ice. how do I actually start telling the story and make seem like it fits into the conversation?” Easy. once you start your story the woman’s not going to stop you and go. 17 ----------------------. The shorter the better at first. I remember hockey from being back in New York. “I once. First of all. LLC. The one thing that I can tell you to really. New York .CarlosXuma.” these are all different ways that would just segue into the story. like when she was talking about her friend going to go see a shark’s game which is a hockey game. chances are I’m going to immediately go. to somebody as I’m recalling it and it a couple of times with a one story comes naturally.” It doesn’t happen. You’ll be off the cuff based on your So there is the exercises portion for you and how to start or get started on this. it immediately be able to just create stories experiences.
18 ----------------------. 3. get 2 or 3 stories under your belt and be able to pull them out when you need them and trust me..com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. I’m starting to remember this now. You just need to sit down and do it and try it and start working it.Page 63----------------------www. some of my friends actually showed up there that I had no idea were going to be there. The hardest part about this is really just finding something to tell a story about and then doing it. I had a couple of drinks. I remember there was no wind and I’m remembering that I felt really good that night. That’s it. you’ve got it. they were actually holding a boot camp at the time. chilling out. boot camp of storytelling. I can kind of remember. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. and Nick Savoy from Love Systems. See you then. talking to some of the guys. it’s not that hard.CarlosXuma. to be able to recall those emotions. I was talking to some of their guys. There was a couple of friends there that I knew.Like let’s fall back to my story about the Playboy mansion and the hanging out with those chicks. There’s no secret to this. So on the next thing that we’re going to talk about. humor.. you don’t need a whole week long. . That helps a lot. just hanging out. I’m starting to feel the emotions of being there again. some other people were there. like Brad P. channel the experience and the emotions. So feel the story as you’re doing it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. It will help give life to your story and the enthusiasm when you need it. How to make women laugh. And having a few good stories will actually help you feeling like you’ve got ammo to keep going. it was a warm summer night and this really nice weather. LLC. Get going. That’s pretty much all you need to know about storytelling. storytelling in a nutshell. There you go. You don’t need a lot of clever detail. material. you’re going to be doing a lot better than most guys doing conversations with women. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. 2. How to talk to women is not difficult when you have things to talk about.
And that’s what we’re going to talk about today. “Oh.Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. You laugh because you see what you couldn’t see before and it’s a release of energy. Humor very much falls into the category of art form as opposed to something you can just learn to by rote. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . This is one of the things I have to really be careful explaining because a lot of guys think that you can just learn humor from a book or learn humor by listening to somebody’s explanation of it. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. I know you’ve never had this experience before but have you ever had a moment of “A-ha” where you just suddenly realized something. increase it quite a bit and improve it quite a bit.” and literally you laugh. LLC. everybody really does have it . 2. first and foremost. But the problem is. They got really serious and they covered themselves up with a bunch of serious stuff and they haven’t learned how to let out their inner goofball. So those are the things I’m going to focus on right now.Page 64----------------------www.CarlosXuma. Humor. We’re going to talk about humor right now in this module and how it works. why does it work? First off all. the different types and the different keys to using it. being a funny person runs the fine line of being one of those things that either you have it or don’t. But at the same time. something that you’re trying to figure out and somebody’s tried to explain it to you in a way that finally clicked and you’re like. 3. it’s a release to the nervous system. I’ve got to tell you. there are a lot of things you can just do really quickly to step-up your humor from whatever level you may be at right now and you know.com MODULE 5: How To Make Women Laugh I’m a comedian? Well yeah. hopefully you are a little bit. why does humor mean so much? Or why does it mean so much in conversations when you’re learning how to talk with women? Humor is. 1 ----------------------. At the same time.they just kind of pull themselves away from the more humorous side.
He has to hunt his food. Now. Pattern recognition is extremely important and that’s where humor again comes into the mix. Think of what advanced pattern recognition could mean to some caveman somewhere who’s trying to survive in a very chaotic and uncontrollable world where he has to fight for his food. it has that same element to it. LLC. this isn’t something that every guy out there would do. Humor is also a primal signal of intelligence. 1 ----------------------. humor ends up something as being of a release. It actually was doing healthy things to him that combated and actually helped him overcome the cancer in his life. “Oh. but he did it in such a way that he proved that having a positive comedic having humor in his life at that point was the most essential thing because it stimulated his immune system. your ability to laugh at things and manage your own stress is a survival trait but it’s also an indication of having advanced pattern recognition. They just need that release. that’s more than worth it if you ask me.Page 65----------------------www. He had cancer and he put himself on a strict diet of Three Stooges films and comedies and things like that and he laughed himself. literally laughed his cancer away. The reason that women are actually attracted to guys with a sense of humor is because having a good sense of humor means you have an intelligence to see patterns which is actually the next thing.com If you’ve ever gone to a comedy show. It’s a primal signal of intelligence. the same thing is true. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.CarlosXuma. you feel kind of laid back and relaxed because you laughed for a while. Laughter really is a medicine. I’ve actually published a few on the blog that they talk about the fact that humor is an evolutionary mechanism. LLC. Dr. I didn’t see that before.CarlosXuma. Humor as well as a good orgasm is also a form of a release to her.Page 66----------------------www. If you listen to what comedians say. What else in your life is a release? Sex? That’s why humor is so closely paired in a woman’s mind.oductions. Women feel it as a release. 2 ----------------------. So remember.com So that’s why humor works. he has to think of clever ways to help his family survive. That’s why it’s an essential primal mechanism for women. they’ve done studies on this. humor is a release.” Right? That’s pretty much it. Norman Cousins has actually proved this. When you get out of that show. . they’re just seeing patterns of things and relating them back to you in a way that you go. what they’re doing is. Now if we can just do that on a daily basis with out stress.
Now. manage the stressful things in life. You’re going to recognize when these types of humor being one that you can grab hold on to and leverage. what do you think of him?” (and it could be ANY guy) © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. LLC. they’re a little bit wrapped too tight but a guy that can have a good sense of humor about things is going to have a lower threshold of blowing his stack when the time comes. You don’t want to tell too many jokes. Because using cocky-funny can often make you look a little bit arrogant. pretty obvious for me. humor. beware. “Oh well. In other words.” And that sounds stuck up coming from a guy who actually is attractive.” OK? So keep that in mind. Jokes.com Almost every woman would say. instant transfusion of humor. 3 ----------------------. If you’re considerably attractive in any way and you know what? I hate to say this but most guys are. if you know that you’re a little bit more attractive than maybe some of the other guys out there. they’ll make jokes about.Page 67----------------------www.I also have a theory that humor is important because humor shows that a guy can manage the stress level in his life but also he cannot take things too seriously. a lot of guys don’t know that but they use cocky-funny. This is important too because you’re going to find in here some strengths of your own. he can manage stress. right? It sounds like he’s joking about something and it suddenly got that ring of truth to it with the woman’s going. Beware though. Teasing. “Oh. Guys who take things too seriously tend to be strung too tight. you just want me for my body. maybe you’re a 7 or an 8 or a 9 or a 10 on a scale. maybe other women.” But the guys that stand out a little bit. and you should. especially when you’re talking with women because it’s the most effective form of humor that women respond the most to and gets you the most results in terms of building attraction and connection. I have to say that when you ask women. This one’s really important especially in dating. you know. I can start teasing and can be . “Oh. he’s cute. Be careful and beware of this. Really important there again. “Oh. Cocky and funny. right? It’s the one I think most guys fall into. the different types of humor. You don’t want to overwork it. I retell that joke. Jokes are a good form of humor because they allow you to memorize a pattern of humor and relate it again. right? All you’ve got to do is learn a few lines from a joke I read somewhere whether it’s on the playboy advisor or some tasteless joke book somewhere. It’s like a module of humor that anybody can take and reuse and get the benefit of. So that’s one of the things I believe. this is one thing that most of gurus out there don’t talk about. But there’s also a kind you want to be careful about using. but now not me.CarlosXuma.
you’re like. it’s dark. 4 ----------------------. So teasing of course can also be funny and should be funny if it’s doing anything else but teasing. He’s pissed. All the stupid defense mechanisms. This is where you are just plain. The girls would just love it. “Wow man. that guy’s like.” That’s funny because that has a dual meaning. that you can’t take offense at it. you’re poking a little fun. There’s also the sexual double entendre. It’s coming from a much more confident frame. “He said ‘blow. And I would just do these goofy faces and I would be this total dork I didn’t have anything to memorize. I’m not saying that he’s not funny but he’s got that angry edge to him and you get that feeling of. so goofy. it was in Beavis and Butthead. One of my favorite comedians is Eddie Izzard and his humor is. I’ll put a little asterisk on this. Somebody like Dane Cook. “Wow. You know. they would eat it up. that’s why I liked hanging out with my cousin. You have to know when to use them. Unfortunately though. I wasn’t trying to be . There are some comedians.’” Where you say something. whoo. I just had to ask like this dork. so fun. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. letting your personality float man. right? Those can be funny and you should use those in conversations. It’s like you’ve got an acidic aftertaste that you’ve got this bitter edge to you. probably the perfect form of humor because it’s so laid back.” Let me give you an example of the exact opposite of this. He’s funny. LLC. but he’s angry. she blew it. Sarcasm is also a form of humor.” But that’s where a lot of humor comes from. But they’re a great form of humor too. “His name was George. He’s angry. It’s the goofy-silly. Butthead would always laugh. it comes from a little bit of anger. all the protection mechanisms really that try and keep you shielded away from somebody so they can’t see the real you and you’re just letting yourself be a total dork. or however that French sounding thing is. It also communicates bad things about you in some ways.Page 68----------------------www.com It’s the kind of thing that. and you have to know how to not overuse them to have a good effect with them. they think it was hysterical because I was just kind of being goofy. when you listen to them. And he’s the exact opposite of sarcastic humor. My cousin had some really cute friends. Another is my personal favorite. I just think to be.CarlosXuma. It’s just fun. “Oh. a goofball. I think it’s a distinctly different energy. You are using an energy that you used to use when you were a kid. I used to do this when I was a kid and I would keep my cousin in stitches this goofy character I used to call. so casual. you’re just kind of taking down all the barriers around you. Her friends would love it.” he was kind of little bit slow but he was kind of funny. the double entendre is when you say something that has dual meaning. you just forgot how to use it.different from cocky-funny by the way because teasing is a slightly different energy.
you run the risk of her reacting to what you’re saying before she’s had the chance to be let in on the joke. You’re not looking self-amused. And you’ve got to know how to really build up tension and ride it a little bit because remember. after you told a joke to go. I would advice that you would take some of the angry edge off of it and you can still make it fun. If you know when to not say something. In other words.com that you just met doesn’t know how to calibrate to you yet. the more tension you had before it the more laughs after it. You let her in on the joke a little bit by going. they just like usin g jokes. Humor is tension. “Ha ha.Page 69----------------------www. This is really important. If you’re too serious. So you’re going to have to smile to compensate for that. Knowing when to just stop for a second.” Pausing will give weight and meaning to anything that you’re saying and it works especially good in jokes. Also. 5 ----------------------. Jokes. Don’t laugh at yourself. wait for it. don’t laugh at your own jokes. when the punchline comes. but kind of have a little bit of a smirk.somebody I wasn’t because I was kind of goofy but they loved it. The woma n © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. humor is tension release. “Come on.” you know. Sarcasm. If you don’t get a laugh during your joke. not like a goofy. First of all. you can give weight and meaning to things. “And then the farmer said. Pausing at the right time. you know I’m joking. probably the most guilty of not pausing very much. Here’re some advice on teasing.” You know. one of these is going to be the one that you will fall into more than another. Timing is really important. I drew your attention for a second and then I finished what I said. Steve Martin used to have a joke of his own. Don’t be the first one. you look like you’re just clueless. you look stupid because you look like you’re just. And of course there are other types but these are some of the primary types of humor that you’re going to use. You’ve got to know how to use it. They have to be. Teasing same thing.” You know he used to joke about that but timing within humor is very important because when you pause. smile when you’re delivering this stuff. LLC. he said. So don’t be the first person to laugh at your jokes. whenever it may . “You know. I would have to be guilty. And it’s that ability to be vulnerable. it took me a while to catch on to being a comedian because they say that comedy is all about timing. It was like letting them see a part of you that they know is there and most guys are hiding but they want to see. Did you see what I just did there? I just paused. Practice your timing. you make a little face at her. kind of like. a lot of guys tend to fall into this category.CarlosXuma. She doesn’t know how to read you. And you’re going to find it. I think that goofy-silly really translates to vulnerability on a funny level. “I talk fast. that looks stupid. right?” You’ve got to let her in on it.
“Oh. funny movies are a great way to hone that skill. So again. He would do anything for a laugh. really. it’s a little bit of a nervous laugh but that whole section is not very funny. When you watch a comedy. It’s not essential though that you’re riproaring Seinfeld comedian. remember that humor is simply not an essential element of every single conversation. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. that’s so stupid. OK? Do you have any jokes?” You know you can have fun with the moment of having fun with yourself. you’re kind of like. They know when to throw something a little funny and then they know how to top it off with something that’s super funny. And then think about the mistakes you’ve seen in certain comedies. First of all. I’m such an idiot. But again. you know when he used to do that thing when he’s like. You have to know how and when to throw humor in. When it comes to jokes. start the conversation with humor but don’t go too far. go back to improvisation class. they really will and as long as it’s not a lame one. It’s good to have a light hearted air about you and I think I talked about that in another section of this program. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . You don’t have to be super-humorous funny guy. this is sickening. I think it’s a great movie. you can just make a self-deprecating remark like. He’d slap himself around.” They know how to pace they know how to throw the humor at you and control burst. LLC. Jokes. It really gets uncomfortable because there’s nothing really funny in there. I just think they dragged it out too long without kind of figuring out the pacing of it. OK? Think about that. go easy on it. I’ve a break man. that was a dramatic portion of the movie and it was meant to be that way. “Note to self. This is important. “OK. even when he trashes the car. not getting a laugh is often a good thing because the next joke you tell. make a self-deprecating remark of some kind. right? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. So it just basically spices things up and then you delicately throw it in along the way.” He used to hit himself on the head.com If you don’t get a laugh. It’s just like seasoning your cooking. they’re going to want to laugh at. “Oh man. One that comes to mind is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. 6 ----------------------. funny movies. How could I be so stupid?” I think of the ultimate example of this self-deprecating thing is being Chris Farley. Think about because you got to take themselves. As a matter of fact. not too much. I love that movie but one of the mistakes was that serious moment there where Cameron is getting pissed off at her dad’s car. how they constructively use that. 20 minutes in and you’d be. Funny movies are not funny all the way through would literally be like. you’ll do fine.CarlosXuma. He went to the extreme.be. don’t say. Humor is meant to spice things up and then you delicately throw it in along the way.Page 70----------------------www.
I have been very guilty at times of using sexual humor and using risqué humor a little too early in the conversation and as a result. 8 ----------------------. I went too far. I’ll see you later. think of what being with this woman for more than just a night would mean. foul sense of humor but I make sure that I ease people into it because if I jump right in quickly. LLC. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. The structured.CarlosXuma. slap my wrist. “Is he joking?” She doesn’t know if you’re joking. Here. “You know it was nice meeting you at the party and everything but I don’t think we’re quite a match. just apologize in a good natured way.” You have fun with that moment. maybe tease or used cocky-funny. If she doesn’t get over it. 7 ----------------------.” and I’m thinking to myself. “OK. kind of like Dennis Miller does his rants. And for them.com If a woman responds negatively to your humor whatever it may be. Honestly. Assume a woman is cool but again.Page 72----------------------www. I remember distinctly actually. the women to be around. OK? This is where some guys are in the foul because they kind of deadpan a little bit and it also becomes like. Just say something like.” And I was like. be fore .oductions. So you’ve got to ease your way with people. crude. Alright? So a lot you’ve got to watch out of her. I can really burn some bridges. So give her time to figure you out a little bit before you start tricking things up a little bit. So if she doesn’t get over it. they will savvy to your sense of humor. ease your way into humor. I met this one gal. Calibration. get rid of her. I forgot that I put it in there but it definitely pissed her off because she sent an e-mail back later that day saying. I burned myself. “Whoa. That’s my motto.Page 71----------------------www. And one of them is dealing with the bitchy women one with no sense of humor.CarlosXuma. get rid that are out there. LLC. I shouldn’t be including her on that e-mail list but I got the idea. you’ve got to slap my wrist because otherwise I can’t go on with the conversation. I have an extremely raunchy. “Well.com Be way over the top so that she knows that you’re joking initially. she was really cute and I was sending out e-mails at the time I was writing my own rants. apologize and then move on. It takes time for her to understand when you were actually joking and when you’re not. No. I’m sorry. If the woman that you’re talking to takes something you say offensively and then won’t let it go or acts bitchy or just can’t seem to get past it. the one that are too that just don’t plain get it and aren’t very fun of pretentious diva women around these days. I wrote one and it was really pretty offensive because I put something in it that said the rule about a guy eventually becoming tired of sleeping with a woman he’s with and I put that in an e-mail.” First. I turn some women off. eventually. there’s a certain price you don’t have to pay to get a woman. and you think you might have made a mistake. so you have to be a little over the top. Slap my wrist please.
where I say basically. gut bursting laugh with you or anything like that. There was a time when I was pretty serious with women. “I am not here. very lightly sprinkled in and still have a lot of effect. I’m not going to take all the credit for it. he’s the guy that people keep going on and on and on and ragging on and they won’t stop. 9 ----------------------. I thought it was pretty funny and the way I preface it is with. “OK. I think that’s perfectly acceptable. And I figured out why. That’s what she’s looking at.CarlosXuma. They didn’t like it at all. Whereas if he goes with it and he jokes with them and goes along with them.” he’s trying to stop humor. he’s obviously a total stiff about it.” and you’d be like. Take as much as you like. And I think that it’s actually essential if you’re learning how to build up your own sense of humor.Page 73----------------------www. “You know. I can poke a little fun in stuff. And as I like to say. I heard this guy talking about Bill Clinton. “He’s not here. make you go along with anything?” And you can hear him go. I’m just re-relating it in a way that lets her have another laugh at it. I heard this guy talking about Bill Clinton once. I learned this myself back in high school. I’m not saying that this is my joke. It’s not that you’re making her bust out. What it’s about is showing a light-heartedness about your approach to life. I would always get really serious and they didn’t dig it. it’s like a person and you’re in a group and they’re making fun of the guy and he’s like. . “Oh boy. that’s just the way it is. it doesn’t have to be original. She’s taking your level of humor that you’re throwing in.” It’s a little joke.” She sees a lot of things and she interprets a lot of things from seriousness that guys just don’t understand. but seriously. There’s actually this great example where I talk about this thing.” Because it’s that seriousness that tells a woman that. right? But that’s from a comedian. it’s because she knew that I was being so serious because I felt like I had an agenda. this guy is going to be like calling me every night. I’m going to be honest with you. your lightheartedness and translating into your personality.” You know. LLC. I stole that from a comedian. He’s going to want to jump in bed too soon. Why? It’s because he’s trying to control the humor.com Because a serious personality is a serious bummer for most women. “You know I heard this guy talking about Bill Clinton and he said. That’s why guys are so serious. seriously but. steal as much as you like. A kind of. they will stop all that much sooner. He’s going to want to pin me down in a relationship before I’m ready. I’m not going to be a total needy little wuss as soon as I get in with you. Have everyone knows how Bill Clinton could make you like him with his charm. OK. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. So there you go from what I talked about before. “OK. they’ve got to get something done. borrow as much humor as you like. and there’s a joke that I had. I want to reemphasize that humor as an element of conversation with women can be very. Everything’s cool. “I’m cool and laid back.” I’m giving a bit of credit.you start busting her balls.
I’m not going to show you this. go to an improv class is one of the exercises. Oh. “Your mom’s eaten by a shark? That’s horrible. “Oh my God.said that he was Crockett and I looked at him and said. “She was eaten by a shark. “Yeah.” And somebody made a joke about us being like the characters on Miami Vice and then one guy . 10 ----------------------. I’ll take the house and the kids. Some examples here.my friend . So when it comes to making a woman laugh. Mistake in interpretation is something like.He said this joke that I had no ass. OK? So you say something like. You see what happened there? I totally deflated and there was a stress relief and everybody thought it was hysterical and funny and they never bothered me about that again because they realized that I finally got the joke. by obviously joking about a situation that doesn’t exist. It’s just the way it works. it just have to be a light-hearted sense of having fun in the moment. It doesn’t have to be cracking up or side splitting humor. don’t go crazy. I’ll go along with them on it. she’s looking for reasons to laugh in the conversation. I was this little skinny kid so I didn’t really have a butt and for the longest time it bugged me that they would do this and I was just being like. I just kind of laid back and I just realized.Page 74----------------------www. Like women you first meet this stuff works great. your lesson in humor. Another mistake in interpretation.CarlosXuma. LLC. There’s a mistake in the interpretation.” Have fun. “She works at the park. I want a divorce. That’s it. There’s fast forward humor.” See what I did? I purposely misunderstood her. alright? Is that fair?” So what am I doing? I’m having fun with her by joking about a situation that hasn’t even come up yet and again she learns that I’m light-hearted about . You should’ve said that first man. Have fun with it. The next thing’s you’re going to be looking at my shopping list. I’m Butts. I used a word that rhymed with it.” Have fun. I can’t believe you’re like hitting on me in the grocery store. “You know what? This is stupid. it doesn’t take much. pick-up a few books. I’ve got actually to share with you. I had no butt. the stuff I’m going to buy in here is top secret. This is where you joke about things by pushing the timeline a little bit. you know I really.” instead of “Tubbs. “OK.com Here are some examples of humor that you’re going to use. you get the Yugo. Over-interpret or misinterpret.” and I’ve re-interpreted it as. You just open up a door and barely do anything and she’ll laugh anyways. she works at the park. There you go.” right the other guy? And they thought that was hysterical that I finally joked about that because obviously I didn’t have a butt. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. The first context or frame you said is that she’s already your girlfriend and you’re already breaking up with her. I wouldn’t go along with that and try to stop them from joking about it and then one night.
OK? So she does make a small mistake of some kind. that’s it? Now you want me to forgive you for having an affair with that movie star.CarlosXuma. you take that away from her and she has to earn it back now. I will make you look good though so it’s worth it. LLC.” See. what’s his name. are you? No way. Gees. She’s now been put in this little corner of being a bratty sister. this is a classic by the way. I’ve never done that.Page 75----------------------www. kind of like you’re a girl. ha ha ha. “Oh my God. you might have to pay me some royalties. you’re back again? Look. needy guy if I’m joking like this. because they want to accepted. “Oh. You probably heard this a hundred times but it’s really a great way because it communicates in so many different levels that she is women are in a social environment because they want to meet people.the whole topic and probably not the clingy. she’s not quite as cute as you but you know what? She’s got a hook up at the cinema. you’re not going to try and get me drunk and dance topless again. And by framing her in this context. “You know.” She does something small that’s wrong. You exaggerate things like. Here’s another one. “You know. I will do my husbandly duty and I will pretend. This is humor like. Pretty cool. I star in one movie. earn one little Oscar and every woman on the planet wants to get with me. for tonight. Pretending. OK? This is good stuff. did I say that? That has so never happened to me before. She’s got to earn her way back to being a cool chick again so that she can get back to the level where she was before. if you want to stand by me like this. you’re a diva or some kind of movie star. we’re just not working out but for tonight I’ll do my husbandly duty and I’ll pretend. A very simple thing that they desire. but making it fun. And say something like. What do you got to offer?” See what I got there? A little bit of qualification I built into that one.” You’re playing up the whole. This is where you joke about her trying to pick you up. you’ve got to really play up the overplaying element so she doesn’t think that you’re serious.” And I’ll put my arm around her on this one. Can I just give you an autograph and you’ll go away?” Here’s another one. I love this one. huh? Role reversal humor. “I’m really famous. And there you get a little bit of a physical contact. Let’s go to exaggeration humor. they want to be acceptable and attractive to guys and other women. Here’s a good one. 11 ----------------------. big deal. “Oh God. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.” talk to her as if she’s your bratty little sister. but now you . I’m having a little fun with the whole change in role reversals. I’ll use this as a license to get more physical with her because what did I just say at the end there? “OK. I think we need to see a marriage counselor. Here’s an example. “You know. “Oh my God. Oops. I’ve already got a sister. at the theatre so I get all my movies for free. A guy dancing topless.” and I’ll put my arm around her and then she’ll go along with it because she wants to go along with the joke. This stuff is really good.com Here’s put up on humor.
And then the compliment return. this one’s a little more complicated but it’s a big payoff when you realize how to use it. take whatever she says and make a mistake out of it on purpose. you’re overplaying. You have to go over the top to kind of create the frame on this one. She’s late for whatever reason. So there are some examples.Page 76----------------------www.” OK? You’re playing it up. it’s so embarrassing and now I’m getting a little teary. So that’s why this one works really good. Don’t make fun of yourself too much because it comes across as being kind of insecure. when she compliments you. So let’s say a woman compliments you. you throw that one at her. you think you could just flatter me and I would jump in bed with you? Please stop. but she compliments you in kind of a lame way which is a lot of women do. you’re over dramaticizing her little compliment which really wasn’t a compliment at all. Role reversal humor. so there.CarlosXuma. Six good examples of different kinds of humor that you can use. Exaggeration humor. You’ve got to have fun with her and poke the drama button a little bit.” This is like an example of her coming or showing up late at something. I gave you some examples. What you’re trying to do is one up her in terms of the energy of what’s going on. I do want to give you a few warnings. LLC. She says something like. The mistake in the interpretation. OK. you’ve got to take what she says and turn it to your own humorous little edge and own demented meaning. where you take on a female point of view about something and joke about her with it.” and now you say something back like.com but now. take something to the extreme. It’s actually a form of teasing too. The fast forward where you actually assume some future role and then you translate back. “Oh sure. where she’s your little bratty sister and she is so annoying you. So you make a joke about that and you jack up the energy. I’ll give you an example here. 12 ----------------------. Don’t poke too much fun at yourself when you’re using humor. . she’s just saying something and throwing it out there © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “You’re funny. so watch for that.disrespect me too. Put upon humor. Let’s go to the compliment returns. it was kind of like a little joke in itself. where she’ll say something nice or she’ll try and say something nice about you and you turn it around and you jack up the energy.
“OK. They will just look at you and like. OK? And you know that they’re really cool but inevitably.com Take an improve class. Watch improv. religion or race until you’re really comfortable with the people you’re with. joke off .” You might get away with it once but twice is going to be a little tough so watch out for doing that. “Hey. you’re with a group of people and then maybe you’re with this chick and then you and her go to another group or you and your wingman and one other girl is there go to another group. tell one joke. I heard this the other time. you’ll see what these guys do with just off the cuff stuff they invent in the spur of the moment and it will totall y inspire you to try and reach beyond yourself to be a little bit more funny. Read a joke book and then choose to commit one joke to memory. you’re just going to be even if they don’t get pissed. “What?” and say. OK? That’s it. 14 ----------------------. And avoid the land mine of all humor situations which is: don’t joke about politics. you guys want a joke off?” And they’ll look at you and like. no. By the time you get done telling that to three people. maximum per night.CarlosXuma. LLC.” you know. you don’t want to retell the joke again because that starts to get a bit old and they’re going to be like. line for line. Watch shows like What’s My Line? They are incredible. avoiding those dark things. “I don’t remember any of them. I can’t recommend this enough. Also. Because what’ll happen. there’s this guy and he walks into a bar. “OK. it didn’t offend me but it was inappropriate. And inevitably. you’ll probably have it down fairly good. it was funny and all. LLC. you’ll tell a joke then she’ll tell a joke and we’ll see who has the best joke. one of those jokes. one classical. I’ll look up a joke site. I’ll tell a joke. 13 ----------------------. someone’s going to get pissed.” And they’ll sense that so be careful about that. Here’s some exercises I want you to do. And then tell that joke to three different people. OK? So that’s how you get a joke into your memory and using it.Page 77----------------------www. “I don’t remember any of those jokes. “No.com Don’t repeat a joke that you’ve told in a group you’re in. in other words.Page 78----------------------www. you’ll get caught reading the joke book and then you won’t stop and then you’ll be like.CarlosXuma. you’re going to be showing a callous disregard for social norms by doing this. Get your minds out of the gutter.” It always happens.” That’s a great way of leading in to tell jokes in a conversation.© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions.” Isn’t that weird? Commit to choosing one and then don’t read anymore jokes. OK? Unless you’re getting into a joke off contest of some kind and that’s actually another fun thing to do is to say. I’ll read a bunch of great jokes and then I’ll walk away and I’ll be like. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. Guys who have . “Hey.
. So see you in the next module. There’s four good exercises for you to do and you should do them because you will learn from them and you will learn more about how to make women laugh. and. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. where you see that the comedians know how to pause for a second and look and they work that moment and you see the audience start to giggle and then start to become funnier and funnier and funnier. material. and. Say something else to me. “No.” You have to take whatever they say and then use it and run with it and then have fun with it and be funny with it. LLC. Watch their timing. And then sit down and watch some good sitcoms to give you an idea of good timing and how to work the moment a little bit. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. but. It’s a very positive frame of mind to be in. you have to get out of your head and get more in the moment. they call the “Yes.” but the “Yes. next module coming up.done this have understood what an important step this is. I don’t like that.” which means that anything that somebody says to you in improv.. not denying anything. And you have to learn things like how to just be. you’ll learn an awful lot. Some good TV shows have this by the way. so watch those kinds of shows where there’s a moment like that where there’s just a silence where everybody kind of like works the moment or maybe some slapstick. you can’t just deny and say. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. They’re excellent at doing this kind of thing. You have to be able to be more freeassociating. 2..” not the “Yes. You want to understand how to work the moment. you’re accepting. It’s not funny.CarlosXuma. Not only you were just learning how to be more funny and things like that but relating to and talking to women on a relaxed basis because they teach you how to think in a different way and improv.Page 79----------------------www. Alright. we’re going to talk about some specific tools to use in your conversation and I’m also going to get into the phone conversation as well as electronic and texting conversations with women. no. 15 ----------------------.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew.
Using her as part of the environment. I start conversations with women based on their tattoos than anything else. We’re going to go into environment as a factor in your conversations and how to use it. It has meaning to her. 1 ----------------------. A lot of conversation in that. So let’s start right out here.” Like. when your looking for something to say to her or when you’re trying to keep the conversation going. “I really like the tattoo. Why did she choose that? Compliment her on it . again these may seem specific but you can find any of these things with any woman.3. LLC. “So what’s the meaning of it? Because I know you probably spent a lot of time figuring out what you wanted to get. you need things to burn and you need things to be able to say during the conversation. I call this finding “seeds.CarlosXuma. you need fuel. let’s say she’s got a tattoo. As a matter of fact. where did you get that done?” And the I ask her right after that. Where did you get it? How did you get it? A tattoo is very personal to a woman.Page 80----------------------www.com MODULE 6: Conversational Tools I’m going to go specifically into things pretty much any guy can use to make sure that he’s keeping a good conversation going. Clothes. she thought long and hard about why she chose that tattoo and where she put it and what it means to her. 2. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. in other words. Using her as a source of those things is the penultimate way of making sure you can keep it going. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.” It should get a whole long story behind that. Here’re some things you can watch for. you’re going to find out some really deep rapport type stuff with that. And that’s one of the questions I ask is. look into what she’s wearing and it gives you an idea how you can do a cold read on her as to why she’s wearing certain clothes. What is she wearing? What is she not wearing? You know what I mean? Check into what she’s wearing. 3.
” “Oh. my dog. Women just don’t wear things for no good reason. You can ask her. It’s me in a soccer jersey and I’m sitting on the bridge in Venice and it’s quite obvious that it’s not in the US. find out why. sitting on the bridge. so she’s going to ask questions about that. I have a bunch of exclusive photo albums that I keep on my iPhone for every conversation. so use her cellphone. Jewelry always has a story behind it. I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. find a way to bridging into the conversation. toe rings. I’ll say something like.Page 81----------------------www. Bracelets. slap it on my finger or whatever. let me show you. Don’t go too far with the shoes thing because you can seem a little gay and don’t make it the first thing. guys do. more instant conversation. I mean.” You know. 1 ----------------------. you can use her cellphone as a source of conversation. My own cellphone is an iPhone and I keep a bunch of pictures on it. that’s a conversation all in there. But somewhere in there you can talk about her shoes. LLC. Rings that she wears. She chose those. Shoes are important to women. pull out a ring.and ask her about it. there you go. “Oh it came with my plan. Why she chose that one. LLC. same thing. anklets.CarlosXuma. Maybe she’s got a really cool looking purse. This is a really good one. Necklaces. Don’t start exploring her phone too much because that’s still personal in a way. plus as you’re scrolling through pictures on your phone. just shoot the crap about it. use any kind of accessory she happens to be carrying. I’ll let her make a big deal out of it. It does have a little bit of meaning from you but usually not nearly as much as what women have for the meaning. 2 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. really? Let me check it out because I was actually looking at getting one of these at one point. belly button rings. he’s just a pain these days.” and instantly. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. she spent time thinking about them. me on a bridge in Venice. And she’ll ask more questions about them and I won’t say a thing about them because I won’t be bragging. You know. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. The pictures themselves start conversations like that. “Oh.com Jewelry. or .com You see how invaluable using gadgets and things like these can be? These are props too.” I’ll pull it up on the phone. “Got any pictures on this? You got any music?” Anything like this that maybe she wants to show you.Page 82----------------------www. Her cellphone and accessories that she’s carrying with her. bam. you come across ones that you want her to see. OK so that’s what I do. Shoes. I just reach into the drawer. what’s the first question she asks? “What kind? What kind of dog you’ve got?” “Oh.
Use those as fuel for conversation. very interactive. sometimes a . what’s that guy up to?” Use what’s going on around you because what it does. Where you are is like a primary factor in creating conversation. this is gold. the smells you smell. she was very. If you’re outside. use this one. What foods does she like? Get her on that topic. “Hey. definitely she wasn’t a what you call a bum in any stretch of the imagination. Location. Food is an awesome topic for conversation for you and a woman. She was obviously making money for school. it grounds you in the moment. You know.maybe she’s got one of those big purses that you’ll make fun of. this is a good one.CarlosXuma. what © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Props. the smells you smell. a very attractive little Asian girl and she’s playing violin and every so often she’d stop and she’d sing. where it’s called the celebrity game. sounds like gross and disgusting. because it’s very good at one of those present moment exercises that keeps you very. if you’re in a restaurant. if you see somebody acting goofy. The sights.Page 83----------------------www. What foods her mom made for her when she was a kid? What foods did her grandparents make? These are all great conversations to have.com celebrity they remind you of. things that are around you in the location like in restaurants where the salt and pepper shakers were shaped really weird. Again. Where you are gives you a lot of things to talk about. look for the not so normal and it will give you stuff to talk about. sometimes it’s guys that are out in the street playing their violins or those guys that play for money in the street. what kind of foods do you like. or maybe she’s got a tiny little purse that you can make fun of or tease about. I was actually at a theatre in Palo Alto in our area of the country here in California and there was this really nice theatre area and there’s a nice restaurant there and we were eating. Like I used to play this game. Food. whether it’s on the radio or there’s a live band or any music that you happen to be hearing. Pretty cool. And there was this girl obviously like a college age girl. 3 ----------------------. look for the different. I really can’t emphasize this enough. Sometimes it’s just. Music that’s playing. Where you look around you and each of you has to find one person that looks like a movie star then you tell the other person which person to look at and you have to guess which movie star you think they look like. very much hip to what she was doing and what she was playing. For example. What it is you’re tasting. What you see in the immediate area. Again. huh? You do that one. What you see. you nudge her and go. Look around you. Just look for the odd. People. so that was kind of cool and there I initialized the whole conversation. the people that around you in the location will give you a lot of conversation. LLC.
I’ll make sure that I have a paper with me that I’m reading through. as well as just meeting women. These are things that are a little bit more out there but you’ve got to find one that works for you.. be present and focused on what’s going on at that moment. I still have it. not like I’m just sitting there and going.CarlosXuma. I would make sure that I would work that into conversations or even on the first meet-up or the second meet-up or any date that we had. I talked about this one.com Here’re some miscellaneous props.little bit phallic so I’d make fun of that. “Ho hum. If you’re already engaged in something and she’s not your first priority. Really fun. Divination really means anything where you’re using fortune telling. be caught up out in what is going on between you. it can be handwriting analysis. . I pretty much always want to meet up with a woman who’ll have a paper with me if I’m going to meet her in like a coffee place or it’s a daytime meet-up or maybe a woman I met off of an online ad. what you would call a classic pick-up. But palm reading and handwriting analysis are the top two. This had to come out at some point. Divination of any kind. she has to come and interrupt your world to make your presence known.” that looks a little needy. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. It can be palm reading. be looking all the time around you.. 4 ----------------------. Very important. Number two. I use them all the time when I was really running. Magazines or books are a cool second. Have a magazine with you that you happen to purchase or wanted to read just make sure that it’s not Playboy. You need to use one or both of these. how can you not have fun when she’s playing around with the idea of being a goddess? And that gives you a great opportunity to tease her back down. called the goddess deck. comes you and your props that you carry with you all the time. Number one. Don’t be caught up in your head. books you’re reading are another excellent thing. technically is a form of divination. A while back. because it makes me look busy when she arrives.Page 84----------------------www. I try and get her to admit whether or not she’s really like that goddess or not based on the qualities. After location. Reading tea leaves. And I ask her to choose a card from this deck and then we read it. Choose a good book that immediately she’s going to be asking questions about what it is you’re reading and how it is and if she’s read it she’s going to start talking about that. It’s a deck of cards and on each card is a goddess from some mythology or something from literature or something like that or history. Use the things that are around you. it’s reading a person from things that are not overtly visible. LLC. Books. It’s a lot of fun and of course. Waiting for the woman to arrive. so again it’s a good prop. because it gives me things to talk about.
tell me. Can you think of any better reason for using one of these tools on a woman? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you can still get that online. There’s just a lot of cool stuff like this that you can read off of her handwriting. A good friend of mine still sells this online as well. no. how accurate it is. It’s so easy. you can use it for teasing. “I don’t know.Page 85----------------------www. A simple as. Do your friends. Cold reads of any kind. where I would just sit back and it’s a little bit silent and would kind of go. you can use it for any number of things. “No. she would still take offense but you’re . how much women love it. number one prop if I had to choose one. 2. you and your props.” play the quiet routine and she’s like. where she crosses her T’s. you see something cool that you like to carry with you. 5 ----------------------. right? And you just offer to read her hand and then you can make stuff up if you want to but honestly there’s no need to. 3. You do it to just a few people. there’s like 5 lines on your hands and if you can memorize those lines. Give me a sample of your handwriting and rewrite this phrase down in cursive. I can’t even begin to tell you. Learn how to do this because they will serve you when you have a break in the conversation or there’s a pause in the conversation. you can tell whether she’s sarcastic or not.com For you to filter her out. how.” “Alright. You can use it to read her personality. LLC.CarlosXuma. you can get Bart Bagget’s Handwriting Analysis Deck. Handwriting analysis. second of all. you can totally make some shit up. basic stuff that you can get online. This is a much more exclusive skill to develop.” And she’s going to be like. no. I think personally. “What?” and you’re going to be like. maybe I shouldn’t say anything. “Look. starting it off on that attraction and connection vibe. 1. but you’ve got to promise me that you won’t take offense. you know what? I’ve got something to say. very effective and the reason why you want to use it is because it really works. women love it because they never get this done. I’m learning a new skill. I think I know something about you that you don’t typically tell other people. Again. I’ve often done this. where that line crosses the T and how it goes across can tell a lot about her self-esteem. when you’re in a store. So it pays to learn it. you don’t have to carry it with you all the time but you do want to maybe bring it with you on a first meet-up with a woman so you have something to talk about.” And I did this on women and it’s so amazing. right?” Of course even if you did something. Number one. Handwriting analysis. The handwriting analysis is very. you can make up anything you want because women don’t really learn palm reading.Palm reading is great because it’s just fun. OK? So there you go. “Huh. say. first of all. not in printing and I’ll analyze it for you. there’s just so much cool stuff to do at palm reading. 4. is my number one choice now because of what it does for you. And that deck by the way is one of the most effective ways of learning it. There’re other things you can buy. using a cold read to kick it back into gear is really good. There’s literally. It starts the conversation out in a playful and fun zone.
it’s a CD store. you can get those anywhere online. what does it do? It triggers something that you can free associate. This is how you can get into the mindset of the perpetual conversationalist. or the second one. so we’ve exhausted the environment. music. I think. alright? I’m going to give you an example of how it works so you can understand it because it’s really the only way to teach it. what do you think? Would you have ever been a hippie?” A question right there. “It’s a great place. I give up some cold reading phrases that you can use with those two. What does tie-dye make you think of? Well. I’m not going to go to cold reads here because that’s not the purpose of this program. So they’re very effective to use. You’re out and you’re sitting there with a woman and you’re out in front of a coffee shop and you’re drinking your coffee and there’s a low in the conversation. it sells CDs. You can keep a conversation going infinitely long if you just learn how this technique works. I could’ve gone right back to here and still ask the question right off of that. it’s called the Barnum Effect where before your effect it’s the fact the we want to interpret anything that said anything about us that’s vague as being very personal to us. Then I think of Amoebas because that’s a record store that’s in the Haight that’s also kind of a hippie-ish type of place. do you think San Francisco has the exclusive rights to the hippiedom?” Or. I don’t know why. We interpret things general as being specific to us. hey. Alright. it just does. makes me think of a hippie. It could’ve been the first thing. OK after the CDs. that’s a ton of stuff right there dude.Page 86----------------------www.” see what .not going to say anything that bad and then you use a few cold reads on her. OK now I’m still associating here. free association.CarlosXuma. the second I saw somebody in tie-dye and looking kind of hippie-ish. It didn’t have to be the eighth or whatever this is seventh thing down the line. not just because I live here because I think of Haight-Ashbury the height of the hippie counter culture of the 60’s or early 70’s too. I could’ve thought. It’s a very effective thing to use.com I also do “cold reads” by the way in a couple of my programs. “Oh. and see how this kind of flows from the same first impression from seeing somebody from the tie-dye. Free association exercise. you see the tiedye. it always makes me think of hippie. The first thing I associated with. It’s an advanced technique and I would highly recommend that you’d go to one of those programs for more information. 6 ----------------------. “Hey. I think I also have it in the Alpha Conversation and Persuasion and I also talk about cold reads in the approach programs. “So. What kind of music do you like?” OK? All that came from seeing somebody in tie-dye. Then it makes me think of San Francisco. LLC. “Ever been to Haight-Ashbury?” Or. You can look up. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. Then you look around and you see somebody in tie-dye.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 7 ----------------------- Page 87----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com I’m doing? I’m going down this free-association cliff, finding something I want to grab on to and want to run with from my conversation. It’s that easy. OK so now we’re on this step, I found something that I can pull out from the free-association from the tie-dye I saw, hippie, San Francisco, HaightAshbury to Amoebas to CDs to, “Hey, what music do you like?” She says, “I like U2. I really like the new album of theirs,” and I think, “OK, let’s free associate off of U2.” “Back in the 90’s I had a ticket to go see them but I gave it up because on the same exact date I had a sales conference in Atlanta that I was going to go to and I just gave up the ticket where my girlfriend and I stood in line and I remember we got these awesome tickets because it was a lottery at the time. Got these great tickets to the concert and I had to give mine up to go to this thing.” OK that right there is a good story to tell because it shows my discipline, right? Looking for storytelling elements? Next comes, “You know what? I went to this sales thing and they had this trophy and I’m thinking, I’m here, I’m stuck here, I can’t be to the U2 concert, my girlfriend’s there, I’m here, I’m going to put everything I’ve got into this weekend. I want that trophy because this trophy was given to one person who gets a perfect score on this test. The test he was giving was, you have to memorize all these sales phrases, closing phrases and things like that.” “So I stayed up literally all night learning this thing. And then, I didn’t win it but I learned something about myself in the process. And that was that I would put in the right amount of effort if I was properly motivated and once I did I learned what I was capable of. That’s some important lesson. Then, we went to a titty bar, that’s right, at some point in our weekend, we we’re in Atlanta and we decided to go to an Atlanta titty bar.” “And there was this creepy guy, sitting in the corner, he’s this really big fat guy, he’s got his hands on both legs and basically he’s keeping this one woman with him the whole night. She couldn’t leave because he just kept paying her to stay, this one woman to stay there. And we’re thinking, God, that’s freaking creepy. I mean, can you imagine that?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 8 ----------------------- Page 88----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com See how these little stories that I just pulled out of that one, U2 free association. Do this on paper, test it out at home. Do it on your own. Go on the internet. Go to CNN.com and just randomly you see a story, take that story, don’t
even read the story, just look at the headline and make up your own story to that headline. You’re going to get a really keen sense of how to free associate, how to talk about things, you don’t even have to know something about something, you can just totally make shit up and it works. This is an awesome technique, this is called free association. And I highly encourage you to use it, it’s the most powerful and the most effective exercise for creating conversation for nothing because that’s exactly what you’re doing. Now if you’re finding that this is very difficult in conversation with a woman, chances are, the problem is not that you’re not using the tool correctly, it’s that you’re getting caught back up in your head again and you can’t afford to do that my friend. You’ve got to stay out of your head and in the present moment. Free association forces you to do a little bit of both, you go back in your head a little bit but you’re also in the present moment. The television exercise, here’s another great tool for you to use. Turn on your TV. Turn it on to a random channel, any channel at all. Keep the finger on the mute button on your remote, you wait for something to come along, you don’t have to wait very long, as a matter of fact I highly encourage you to not wait very long. You turn on to some show and you wait for them to say something as a form of a question or maybe even state something and then you hit mute on the TV and I want you to improvise your own response to what they just said. You can either watch the show and try to make your response fit in with the show in some way or you can totally go off on your own. Totally make your own tangent, totally make something that’s pertinent to some, you know, totally different situation. The point here is again, it’s another form of free association but it’s triggered by something that you don’t control and it’s an endless source of fuel for conversation. Just turn on the TV, see something random. OK? I’ll give you an example of this. I’ve got my monitors up here, I’m going to go to CNN.com, I’m going to just pull up one of the headlines and I’ll tell you what it is. Let’s see, “War Is Nothing New.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions, LLC. 9 ----------------------- Page 89----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com War Is Nothing New. OK? What can I do with that? Well, do I have anybody in the family that served in the war? Yeah, my grandfather did, he served in World War II. As a matter of fact, he told me about a time when he, and I do have a story for that. They were at a camp, and I think it was just outside of Germany or maybe just inside Germany and they were eating and then out of nowhere, a tiger tank comes up and into their camp and they all had to scatter. It was a pretty incredible story when he told me about it. There, I just came up with something I just free associated off of that. War is nothing new. Let’s see, war is nothing new. Why do we have to have
war? Why is it we keep coming back and making war on another people? We know intuitively that war is wrong but we keep doing that, why? OK, there I might be getting a bit political, so I’ve got to be careful. Let’s see, there’s a whole ton of other ones here. First Lady Maybe in Healthcare Reform. Wow, that one’s interesting. What do you think about healthcare? Really? Are you getting good healthcare? Do you have a good healthcare program at your work? Again, I just began free associating off of this stuff. 3D Coming Soon to Home TVs. Do you really think you need everything in 3D? I don’t know, 3D gives me a headache sometimes when I go and see movies in the theatre like that. I mean, are we going too far with the whole home theatre thing anyways? Pretty soon, we will never want to leave our house because we’ll be sucked into our television screens. Again, I’m free associating here. Guy Eats Plane, Lands in Record Book. Well, I’m assuming the eating of the plane, means he probably broke it off into small pieces and just ate it bit by bit by bit. I can’t imagine that one actually is begging me right now to click it but I’m not going to because we have a program to do. You see what you can do with this things, you can have a lot of fun. Plus, the story themselves, you can just look up the story, if you remember the story, like later on if I look up this Guy Eats Plane, Lands On Record Book and I talk about it with a woman and I say, “Did you know that there was a guy who ate a freaking plane?” And then I go into the story. Instant story just add CNN. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 10 ----------------------- Page 90----------------------www.CarlosXuma.com There you go, the television exercise though allows you to use random bits of conversation from the television to stimulate your own ability to improvise on the spot. That’s what that exercise is about. Gives you real time, real ability to do it. And you know what? The first couple of times you do it, you’re going to sound lame, you’re going to hesitate, you’re going to, “Uuhh, I don’t know what to say.” UN-mute, keep going, do it again, do it again, do it again, pretty soon you’re going to break through this little blockade, there’s little mental block that we all have inside our heads that stops us from free flowing and having this verbal diarrhea of conversation. And you’ve got to break down that barrier. It’s essential. I frequently have it when I don’t have caffeine in my life. There you go, those are tools you can use. Those alone should help you with any moment of pause you have within a conversation. Now, next up, we’re going to talk about phone conversation and how to handle that. I’ll be back with that in the next module. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions, LLC. 11 ----------------------- Page 91-----------------------
LLC. All I’m going to do.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. material.www. is I’m going to point out the subtleties that make phone conversations different from being in person with her. Nothing really changes that much with phone conversation.com MODULE 7: Phone Conversations Alright. let’s rock and roll with phone conversations. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.. These are the small tweaks. First off. Needless to say. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. call women only in evenings or on weekends. You want to stay away from daytime hours.. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Phone conversations are really kind of a normal subset of any conversation you have with a woman. 2. 2. the weird times of day that you know that she’s probably at work or it would just be weird to get a call at. Nobody . most phone conversation is the same as any other conversation with some small tweaks.CarlosXuma. 1 ----------------------. here we go.CarlosXuma. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. 3. 3. you want to stay away from early in the morning hours. I’m going to tell you.Page 92----------------------www. These are some tools you can use for phone conversations that are pretty much the more exclusive to that situation.
So by calling at evenings or weekends. Talk to you later. I’m telling you that rather than lie and say you’re busy. Not out there approaching women. Go out anyways. that means you’ve go nothing better to do than think about it. “La la la. oh. So I will just sit here and think that I—I should be calling her. Most pickup artist will just tell you to lie and say you’re busy or whatever it is. never call on weekend nights unless you call to get her to meet up with you or coming with you to some event or some bar to meet up with you. It’ll just make you look like a wussbag. Oh. make sure that she’s actually free to talk. just say. but I can’t call her. hang up. Make sure that she’s actually free when you call her on the phone. You should never appear to be available during primetime hours. I’ve got to get going in a few minutes but I just want to touch base with you. Go to a movie alone. LLC. This doesn’t happen that way.” And that’s it. you got a second to talk?” And make sure that he’s clear on that. I just got off the ph one with a good friend of mine. yes you can do things by yourself in life. and the first thing I said is. that means you’re not doing anything. You don’t have a date? Great. “Yeah.CarlosXuma.” If you’re in that situation where you’re trying to hold yourself away from calling her. “Hey. but I was told not to call her. you must be busy. This is really important. why don’t you actually go out and fucking do something during those times. Don’t make a big deal about it. Go take yourself out to dinner. you’re also showing her that you’ve got other things going on in your life too. you got a couple of seconds to talk?” This is what I ask right off the bat. because this is a distinction here. Which means you’re not out there meeting new women. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Jeff. You start to learn how to deal with the fact that. very effective. “Hey. I should be calling her. Just get off the phone. Go someplace. I’m not saying lie. And if she says no or she says no or whatever it is.com Get the hell out of the house but don’t be around during the times when you might be sitting at home thinking of nothing better to do but. you ask her right off the bat. you’re done. “Cool. It’s an obvious situation but we so often go nuts over it. 1 ----------------------. End the conversation. I should be calling her. ok. You drop it.” Very simple. You’re just sitting there going. it’s worth it. Drop it. . It’s a ball that you just don’t need. Go to a bookstore. Alright? And then. “When can I call you? What time should I call you?” No. I ask all my friends this actually. Shouldn’t I be calling her? I should be calling her. You’re not out there meeting new dates.Page 93----------------------www. And you know what? I would say. if she says yes. Don’t say.” If you have time to think about that.” Just let it go.gets calls from guys at 10:30 in the morning on a Thursday. Trust me. “Oh. you say. we’ll talk later. “No problem.
CarlosXuma. A function call or a connection call? A function call is where you are coordinating logistics. Function calls are no longer than 5 minutes. Connection calls are a way to keep the spark going.Page 94----------------------www. “Cool. A phone call is the same as a . she is wondering. Function is to confirm or arrange logistics of an in person meeting. I’ve got to get going in a few minutes but I just wanted to touch base with you.com Alright. then you want to make sure the attraction energy is being pulled into here more than rapport.Let me say it again.CarlosXuma. those two differentials and what the conversation’s about. You don’t want to be on the phone much longer than 15 or 20 minutes at any time.Page 95----------------------www. Whereas a connection call. is when you are calling for no reason at all. Very simple. If it’s a connection call. Don’t talk to busy or distracted people because it’s not fun for either one of you. Women love them too so they won’t hesitate to go along with them but they’re not really making them more attracted to you because you’re not in person with her. You also come across as being needy and suffocating and low value when you do that. so don’t do it. I’m calling her up to make sure that she’s going to be there at a certain time. you know it’s an arrangement type of phone call. You do not need to stay on the phone with somebody’s who’s distracted. LLC. deep phone conversations that go on for hours. you’re showing that you’ve got nothing better to do. and somewhere at the back of her head. So just avoid that. A little bit is OK but not much. end this call. very simple rule too. It’s just a disembodied voice at the other end of the phone and it’s not really as effective as you think. keep to these rules.com Here is another important thing. Is this a function call or is this a connection call? Those are the two kinds of phone calls that you’ll have with a woman. When you’re on the phone with a woman for more than an hour. just to connect with her. 2 ----------------------.” Now you can start your conversation. Remember that. If she is distracted in any way. 3 ----------------------. “Doesn’t this guy have nothing better to do than talk to me on the phone?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I’m calling her up to find out something. Don’t talk to busy or distracted people. you’re not there. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. so after you’ve figured out whether it’s a function call or a connection call. alright? And I’m saying that because guys will very often get into these long drawn out. LLC. see how you were doing.
you’ve got to put more voice emphasis. You can’t be distracted yourself because then you’re going to miss cues. when she does answer.Page 96----------------------www. listen to this. the qualifications there. You can call her and say. cool. She’ll thank you and you will thank yourself. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I don’t care if you think you’re the dullest guy on the planet. You’re not going to be as relaxed in the conversation either. alright? Minimize the distractions for yourself because you need to be listening closely with whatever conversation you’re having with her. don’t call her when you’re in a crowded room. Call her from somewhere where you can really pay attention to her. You’re not going to tell if there’re things going on that you need to pick up on. As long as things are escalating. was it? Whatever it was. they’re all over the place. they’re emphasis is really strong because they have to communicate their personality without the benefit of an image. listen to sports announcers. you get the connection. But on the phone. LLC. That’s a good way to start a conversation because it raises her energy back up and reminds her why did she talk to you in the first place. That’s why you do this. they’re just really. that’s rolling and you get that attraction. Here is one I use. listen how they talk about things.” You know. You have to be listening closely. tease her. let’s talk. it can only escalate so far. go as long as you need to go dude. alright? Very important: If you’re with her and you can keep the conversation going. it’s Carlos. 4 ----------------------. just take a second. You’ve got to be more emphatic with your voice. This is the first thing that you should do on a phone call before you get into a connective call of any kind and that is lightly tease her. “I know. you’ve got to get her energy . “I know you were in your Vogue shoot or maybe it was Elle or maybe it was New Woman Lifestyle or Oprah. if you’ll just give me a chance. really. how are you doing?” And I’ll go. you do all the right things. No. Just do this exercise. If she says a keyword or a key phrase. I like having guys do this. “Hey. so use it. So minimize the distractions around you. I’m not saying to be hyper-attentive. you’re hoping it was Sean Connery way back in the 80’s when he was the sexiest man alive. take a break.” I joke with her. you’ve got to let it be a little bit—it’s got to be a relaxed conversation. it’s going to be tough for you to pick up on it and roll with it as part of the conversation.” Have fun with it. That one’s self deprecating. You’re not going to be able to tell if she’s distracted or not. Look I’m a reasonable substitute. Don’t call her when you’re on the subway.com Start with a teasing energy on the phone call to get her energy up. how are you doing?” then she’s like. but you have to be very present. only shorter. There’s only so far you can go on the phone. I tease with her. I’m going to be like. you should also be teasing her more about her.CarlosXuma. really zoned in on her. That’s what you have to do. right? More voice emphasis is needed on the phone.conversation that’s in person. “Oh. “Oh my God.
Page 97----------------------www. that’s you. watch my sheep. just so with any conversation you want to get into connection and comfort building with her. Number two. I’m going to give up right now. “You know what? This is going to happen and it should happen with you.back up so that she has fun again and remembers.” Alright? So don’t ask for a date. I’m not saying you don’t arrange to meet up with her again but you never use the word date like. I’m going to O’Malley’s bar tonight. You know what? I want you to come with. you don’t use the word date because date triggers certain thoughts in her head. you just say. empty out the porta-potty.” Get into conversation that has meaning for her.not if it’s a function call. So I ask her. you don’t show any intuitiveness. I just want to see you. you know what? I’ve got to get going. “So would you like to go?” You make it in form of a statement so that she has to agree with it. you’ll probably miss out on the opportunity that she wants you to take her up on. I don’t do this on the phone with a woman and you don’t talk about—specifically you don’t say the word date. number one. I’d like to go on a date with you again soon. “Oh boy. “You know what? You’re so cute.” Bridge quickly then into connection and comfort. right? OK it better not because you’ve got so many other fish on the line. you’ve got to get going. it won’t bother you. don’t stay there too long. Yeah. If she declines for any reason.CarlosXuma. “Hey. The fun guy. you stay on the call as if it didn’t bother you and then maybe 30 seconds to a minute or two later. it didn’t bother you. “Oh yeah. here’s what you do. whatever it is that you’ve got to do. “Oh.” You don’t show any perseverance. you’ve laid it out for her and you’re more commanding with it and you’re more like. anything that you work out with her. you just want to meet up with her and if she declines that. Stay on the call because if you got right off the phone after she declined your offer. 5 ----------------------. This is really important.” I don’t know. Would you like to go on a date with me?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. this is of course if it’s a connection call . OK? But you put in a certain amount of pause there so it doesn’t seem like her denial is the thing that pushes you off the . Not in a man anyways.” Not. this is that fun guy. Just tell her where you’re going to be and that she should join you. certain domino effect of. Never ask for a date on the phone or even hint at one. Don’t even hint at a date.” There you go. let’s do that. right after you do a little bit of teasing. LLC.com You don’t use date. you just don’t show any of the right qualities that she’s going to be looking for. I’ve got to get back home and whatever. “So. you’re going to look like an awkward social tool because you’re immediately projecting that all you want is to get something from her. That’s what I’m saying here. Alright? So again. Be there. any arrangement that you make with her on the phone. Say something like. he wants to do that thing where he pays for my meal and he takes me to a movie and then I have to kiss him on the cheek and not have sex with him. “How’s your day been? Tell me about something you ordered today. first of all stay on the call as if it didn’t bother you because it shouldn’t.
yeah. you do not want to be leaving those lame ass messages. at the start of any phone call. I know it’s kind of harsh but it’s true. It messes with her mind but it’s a lot of fun. it’s Carlos. so I’m going to hang up now. happy. she hears that you’re just leaving the message on a. hey. my phone number is 877. the big C. you call me.com together sometime too. I guess that’s it. fun. that’s right. I had such a good time with you the other night and I just wanted to call and say hello and I hope you’re doing good. I can remember that scene so clearly. Have a standard voicemail messages that you use. so I’ll check back with you later. “Yeah. 7 ----------------------.phone because it makes you seem like a total loser basically. promise I’m talking to your voice now. I mean. make sure you’ve got a standard voicemail message ready to use. 877-986-2669. I hope you had a good day today and well. Whatever you say. it’s me. give me a call. right? OK. click. it’s Carlos. yeah I’ll wait so you can get like a pen. OK? Confident. so I was thinking we should get © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. wait a minute man.” And here’s another thing. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I had a really good time with you.com And if you call her again. I’m pretending that I am my own voicemail leaving a message on her voicemail. before you start dialing her number or hitting redial on your phone. I’ll catch you later. if you want to call me though.Page 98----------------------www. I’m just leaving a confident little message saying.” OK? So you’re already in another conversation. I mean. yeah I really like you. Start a conversation. “Hey.Page 99----------------------www.CarlosXuma. Short. 6 ----------------------. I’m not telling her what to do.” .” I’m not telling her to call me. sweet and complete. it’s Carlos. keep talking with them and then the beep goes off in your ear and you’re still talking to your friend and you go. Hey. ready to roll right off the bat. 50% of these women will give you a shot for the next meeting that wouldn’t have if you acted all pissy about her first turndown. Talk with you.” That’s one of the one’s I use. “Hey. but not with a whole bunch of. Also. it’s ludicrous man. OK? You do not want to be tripping over your tongue.” That’s it. you’ve reached my voicemail but you know what? I am here right now. LLC. “Hey. Here’s the one I recommend. start a conversation with them as her voicemail is playing in your ear. I wouldn’t say on a whim. it’s Carlos. “You know what? It’s me but I’ll call you later. Here’s another one. Watch the movie Swingers and see the scene where he does that.CarlosXuma. Interrupt yourself to be leaving this message. ready to go. Bye. LLC. “Hey you. if you’re with somebody.
Picard’s turned into the Borg and he comes up on the monitor and then Will Riker looks at the screen and then goes. oh. she wants the rest of my conversation. It left me so. If you’re ending the conversation with her. Remind me. I was watching a whole bunch of old Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns. when you’re on the phone. she feels a positive draw like. wait. “AAAAAAH!. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr . not the voicemail. Bait into a cliff hanger. That’s what you’re leaving her with.” What am I doing there? I’m baiting her a little bit. suddenly they flash a to “Bastards!” You know you’re totally sucked oductions.” She’s on the edge of her seat. It’s a shameless has worked since time immemorial.” That is what you want to do to a woman my friend. Your message should be no longer than 5 seconds long.” and then suddenly “To be continued” comes up on the screen and I was like. “No!!!!!!!!” you know you can hear this like Kirk screaming it at Khan. I’ve got to get going. cool. you better go with me on this. And last but not least.com I remember. leave it as something to be continued. fast. “Oh you know what? You just reminded me of an awesome story. But anyway. Wait. Guys do this shit all the time and they just don’t understand that you don’t leave messages like that. in. She’s got some reason now. wait. And I knew they totally cheesed me out on it but I didn’t care. 8 ----------------------. right? OK. And there’s that one season where they ended. alright? Like when I’m talking with her on the phone. “Fire. off the phone. And it’s pre-thought out so you don’t seem like you’re stumbling over your own words. “Oh wait. OK this is a situation where you’re actually talking to her. We’ll be coming up with the next module on electronic communication. LLC. technique but you know what? It watched a television show. they have that super weapon charge that’s going to destroy him and then he looks at him and he goes. phone techniques you need to use and do not abuse. I want to know the end of that—your story.AUUUUUUGGHHHHHHH! That totally sucks. quick. I’ll talk to you a little bit later on and we’ll meet up tomorrow.Page 100----------------------www.CarlosXuma. I’m laughing about this now because I’m laughing on the inside. So there you go. I’ll say something like. “No!!!!!” It was perfect because I was on pins and needles for four months or whatever it was waiting for the part two of that episode. it’s hysterical. You want to give her a cliffhanger or some other kind of leave-them-hanging kind of ending. the next time we talk I’ll tell you about this thing that happened back when I was in high school. be continued? And you’re like. where Picard has been turned into the Borg—I’m getting totally geeky here guys. Have you at the end of it. the whole story of you and the whole cheerleader thing and the car. It was the best ending of a season of television I had seen in years.
CarlosXuma. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. we’ve got LinkedIn.CarlosXuma. 2. 1 ----------------------. There really wasn’t a whole bunch of electronic communication going on and now it has become something of a necessity that you know how to work this effectively to keep attraction building with a woman.. 9 ----------------------. material. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. So let’s talk about this really quick. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. First of all. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1.Email and Electronic Communication Just a few quick tips here on e-mail and electronic communication because it’s a whole other kind of communication that we didn’t have prior to the 90’s.com Module 8 . there are different types of electronic communication are out there.Page 101----------------------www. we’ve got Twitter. LLC.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. 3. we’ve got texting which I’m actually leaving a special .Page 102----------------------www. we have of course Facebook. Because I have a feeling that a lot of guys don’t understand how this works. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.that’s the next one you should go to. we’ve got e-mail.. LLC. 3. 2. Thanks.
little freaking cop-out. it’s a cheap. After a while. So remember those. That’s the effect you want to have. You don’t want to be that. You don’t want to be flooding her with useless conversation and useless communication. alright? I’m just calling it as it is here. It’s a way of kind of weaseling out of the real work of learning how to talk to women in person. it’s a little sandbox. LLC. throw it over there and go. Guys love to use e-mail to communicate with women and it’s a cop-out. that’s where your having fun. Don’t compliment her in e-mail. Use them rarely. You don’t get a woman interested in you and hot and bothered and pulling your hand into her crotch by using e-mail. don’t talk about your feelings. 1 ----------------------. Again. you treat like it’s your playground. don’t do it.CarlosXuma. “Oh my gosh. so you need to know how use them too. If you’re doing it just to do it. I highly recommend that you be careful about how you use e-mail or any electronic communication. I hope she likes me. This is your playground. It just doesn’t happen dude. I didn’t get laid in e-mail. Any electronic communication. if at all. especially e-mail. don’t . © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. it won’t work. it’s another cop-out. but do not compliment her in e-mail unless it totally fits into these overall strategy. you use short and sweet. Some people are in chat rooms a lot. Do not send her jokes or chain letters or other bullshit in e-mail or electronic communication. that’s how I got laid.” Do you like me? Yes or no? Pass a note in class. Do not talk about feelings for her in this little playground. she’s going to hit the spam button on you and eliminate you from her little electronic life. just like you did in kindergarten. that’s the law. Don’t be one of these toady jerk dudes that sends her this crap and becomes another spam annoyance. do not compliment her and do not send jokes or any of that bullshit communication that you try and pass off as being fun. that’s the way. Use it rarely. Don’t send her pictures of chimpanzees. just maybe spark a littl e bit of interest. if at all.module that’s the next module. You don’t go into email or Facebook or any of this stuff and talk about feelings that you have for her. unless it really makes sense. in some cases it does. you do it in person where you have a real impact. don’t bother. that’s where attraction’s made. we’re not going to cover texting here because I think it’s a whole other thing in itself. Those different types of electronic communication we run into all the time. When you do use it. Up close. right? Now what do you do if she checks maybe.com Short and sweet.Page 103----------------------www. that’s the rule. you have a little fun in them. guys think that they can just put a little message in a bottle. You know what I mean? So we’ve got a bunch of different ways of communicating with people that we’ve never had before and they’re very kind of light and superficial ways of connecting with people but they’re there and people are using them. You want her hanging on every second that she doesn’t see something in her inbox from you. It’s your playground. face to face.
It goes the same thing in person. it’s there. don’t send stuff that’s spelled like a third grader. in public appearances like that. I hope Carlos left me a message or said something to me in e-mail. she wants you to show some element of—do you know the term PDA.send her pictures of cats hanging from trees that are wet saying.Page 104----------------------www. You don’t want her going. Spell check everything.” Do I need to say anything more? I hope not. Use the spell check. “Hang in there it’s almost Friday. OK? And then. if you’re at a table with her or in a bar.” You want her feeling that. “Oh good. alright? So don’t ever make it public. Facebook or Tweet things that will show up on her wall or show up visually to all of her friends that do anything less than show discretion on your part. I hope that makes sense. That’s exactly what it is and that’s how it comes across to her. OK? They’re not going to think that much less of you but it makes you look a little bit foolish. You want her to want there to be a message to be there and then it’s not there. after a while when the time is right. that’s creating more tension. then it will be there and then the tension release has so much more effect. you don’t make a play of reaching in and holding hands with her or playing your arm around her and showing this big demonstration of how much of a slut you think she’s going to be. With electronic communication. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. 2 ----------------------. Let me explain that. you want her thinking. when it’s not there. OK? And that’s how you make her want to tell everybody as you keep it a secret because she’s going to be itching to tell everyone of her girlfriends.” There’s like that little anticipation she has and you want her to get back to her desk. LLC. “Wow. it’s built into every computer on the planet these days. delay your responses and certain variable time delays in between your responses to her wherever it may be. public display of affection? There’s a reason women say they don’t like them upfront. Don’t ever publicly expose your playful or sexual communications. they love them if you’re the person they want to do it with but most guys make public displays of affection a cheap little way to demonstrate possession and you don’t want to do that. You want her to feel like—she’s at work and she’s coming back from lunch. 3 . for God’s sake.CarlosXuma. “Oh. LLC. Spell check. because it’s a really important concept. Spell check everything you send. you want her to hit that button on her computer and look up and go. Enough said. Everything between you and her is a secret until she wants it to be known by everybody. women tend to be better at spelling than guys are and then they notice when guys are worse than they are. She wants discretion.” Because that is tension release. in other words. She’s going to be itching them to © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I’m dying for it.com show you off to everybody she knows once you’ve demonstrated your commodity worth purchasing. damn.
Face-to-face as much as possible. don’t acknowledge it.com No arrangement of logistics. he’s going to respond right away and wait and wait and wait and then you’re waiting on her. it’s not about manipulating the other person it’s demonstrating to yourself that you have the self discipline and self control to not fall into that trap.com And then there’s a gap in there. Enough said. so no arrangement of logistics.Page 106----------------------www. I totally pulled that out of my butt. you sent her back something saying. Remember that. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. If you’ve got a building romance or relationship on your hands.Page 105----------------------www. flipped the tables on you. That’s not what it’s there for. use it for fun. “Damn. because you don’t want her to cop-out either. it’s nothing serious. When you’re waiting on her that’s . this is true in almost every situation I could think of. Then she asks you a question and then you wait and you let attention build and build and build. Electronic communication is something more than a way to tickle her ear a little bit when you’re not there in her presence. If she tries to cancel or change plans on you by using it the other way or when she sends you some kind of funky little electronic message whether it’s on your Facebook or your Twitter. “Yeah. who’s in control now? And it’s not just about control. you did look kind of cute in your little nurse outfit last night. whatever it is and she uses it as a method to change plans on you. That’s right. 4 ----------------------. The last person to respond is the one that controls the energy flow in the interaction.CarlosXuma.” See what she’s doing. I’m not sure if I should take you at that same place again because you looked a little bit goofy. “Yeah. you’ve got this attention building up on you that’s making you fall for her first.” or something like that. you’re now anticipating her response and until you get it. that’s how it works. I suppose that’s a good idea. and then you call her or use some other formal communication when you can really get a good feel from her what’s going on. We’re not passing notes in school here. and you’re the last one to respond and now you’re waiting on her response but if she sends something back to you saying. it’s your teasing tool and for fun.” That was your last response. I don’t know. You wait in an hour. LLC. Don’t ever use electronic communication as a crutch to arrange a date or to ask her on a date. The upper hand in love is really down to this simple concept.CarlosXuma. But the needy guy. you do not use this to be your crutch or your easy way out. the same thing as with phone calls. It’s a tease tool. don’t make it a big logistic tool. Don’t be the guy that just sent her an e-mail and now you’re waiting for her for her return e-mail and it’s not coming and you go back in your desk and you’re like. Don’t be the last one to respond. So if the last response was from you.----------------------. No communication of serious stuff within electronic communication.
Page 107----------------------www. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. no. So move on to the next module. 2. In other words. “By the way. it’s a “to-be-continued” conversation. you’re making yourself think that she’s more attractive and it’s not working the other way around.. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. no. . electronic and e-mail communication that’s how you keep talking to women effectively with those. 3. texting. remind me.CarlosXuma. And as with phone conversations. no. you’ve got to see it first. 2.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew.building more affection and attraction from her to you. 5 ----------------------. you really do have to have something to show her. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. OK. LLC. I got to show this great thing I got from the store today.. Next stop is texting and that’s going to be our final module in this course. So you can end an e-mail with. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. no. 3. so there you go. right? Making sure we’re keeping it real here guys. make sure you bait with something unfinished that she’s going to want to hear or see or find out from you afterwards. material.” now she’s wondering what it is and you can hold it out there as being like a little bit of carrot. no I’m not going to tell you on the phone. “OK? We need to get the others so I can show this to you.” It goes without saying.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. You want to avoid predictability. but even if she shortens things in her texts. making sure that you’re spelling correctly. anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute. avoid predictability. all these little acronyms. something better to do. you’ll draw it higher by waiting for a few minutes or even an hour or even a freaking day to respond. Texting.CarlosXuma. spell out your text.Page 108----------------------www. 1 ----------------------. LLC. of course.and I’ve got a special bonus today too in this part of the program. guys aren’t really aware of that one and I want you to know about that one first. 1 ----------------------. it’s when you’re in the middle of highest energy in the interaction that you’ll respond the fastest and then as the energy is high. more so than any other form that you use.Page 109----------------------www. You have to know when to do that. don’t use some of those abbreviations. as with electronic communications of any kind. This is a test: See if she starts to calibrate to you. you must do it effectively with texting. Spell them out. you do not want to be the guy that’s immediately responding to every text she sends.” As a rule.com And if she’s calibrating to you.CarlosXuma. . LMTR. if she does that and you spell everything out and then when she starts spelling things out than was using little acronyms for. if she is one of those texters that shortens everything into LOL. she’s demonstrating that she’s bending into your reality. First of all.com Module 9: How to Text Women Hey. She’s going to wonder. whatever. it’s Carlos.© 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Some are OK. welcome to the last module. you’re going to love it. Very important. when you text women. you should be spelling yours out. Every so often. LLC. I want you to vary the time with your responses in texting. “Why isn’t he responding? Maybe because he’s got something else to do. that my friends is an indication of extreme interest in her part. There should be a variation of time in between responses. we’re going to be covering texting here exclusively as the finishing section of the How to Talk to Women Program. let’s talk about some of the key concepts about using texting because it’s a very specialized form of communication with women that you have to know how to use it effectively . that’s what you want to do. do an instantaneous response but then let it go.
if you’re doing that. Don’t do that. “Having shark fin soup. not the rapport level. you know what I mean? You can totally play on this humor. whether it’s for five minutes or five hours or five days but you’ve got to be able to control the last response effect.” Something like that.” See how that works? I’m calling back on the fact that I had fun with her. I want to know if you’d like some. I was joking with her about being a lawyer back when we first met and I’m using it again and maybe in a couple of hours she’ll send something saying. make her more attracted to you. text her maybe in the morning. just went to the aquarium. do not make arrangements in text. saw a bunch of sharks. Tease and definitely use Non-sequitur Humor. do not make date plans. What you do. LLC. it’s called Crystallization. text her in the evening and text her in the middle of the freaking night. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. the attraction level of energy. was thinking of you.Page 110----------------------www. you’re using the kind of humor that— let’s say you two were joking about the fact that she’s a lawyer. you’re shooting up the wrong alley dude. It’s like coming back to the same place where you met every single time. You are the last one to respond and then you let her reply to you and that’s where the interaction ends for you. Using Non-sequitur Humor means. right? Text her in the morning. very important. you’re the one who’s suddenly is crystallizing your affections for her. making no serious plans on text. you’re using it to tease her. talk to her. text her in the afternoon. so you text her in the middle of the day and you say. 2 ----------------------. this Non-sequitur Humor. . Delay your responses. Texting is all about bringing up the energy level. that way you have more choices in the long run. The last response effect as described in the last part of the program is that. if you were the person waiting on her response. it’s important. See this is the cool thing about texting.Vary the time of day that you actually text her. You’ve got to hear her voice. Don’t be the last one to respond. is you’re making yourself more attracted to her? Why would you do that to yourself. you’re not looking to get the rapport in text.com As always. Knowing when to do these is another part of the calibration. It creates a really good bond. “Hey. put in a variable time delay in there. you can do it anytime and she’s going to wonder what you’re up to. this calls back on previous conversations you had and you bring it up not all the time but every so often and it creates a consistent level or a consistent connection that you two have.CarlosXuma.
using a little colon with a little dash.“ Relate your text back to something that you know about her. you want her to want that message to be there and then it’s not there because that makes her go. “Oh God. OK? Say. “Where are you?” Send her back a question back. You know. I actually talked to some guys are aware of this guy I met in Vegas. If you comply with her. fantastic text examples and even though I can’t condone his being like the high quality alpha man that I should aspire to be. crystallizing her attraction for you. this is a special part of the program today. don’t use all capitals. Some examples. very effective especially in texting.com As a matter of fact. Don’t be nice. I call this a Turnaround Tactic. . He says. with a little parenthesis or something like that. If she asks you a question.CarlosXuma. very. especially the hot chicks when your texting them because remember texting is a teasing mechanism. It is. “It’s not a fucking conversation. So I’m passing along some of these text examples and some of his rules. Vary the time in between. it’s always a tease. don’t use a hundred exclamation marks in your message. LLC. Answer questions with questions. But don’t use that too much.” That’s very good actually.Remember my rule. he’s a bit of a questionable guy. it’s a tease.” You know? It’s building up attention.Page 111----------------------www. I can’t endorse his book or his materials because I think they’re a little bit too much of the dark side. the Dark Secrets or something like that but in it he had some awesome things. “First of all as a rule. “Not sure you want to know about this but why are you asking?” Ask her a question back that denies her the responses that she’s asking for because it’s a form of a test. Text her at the weirdest times. Don’t answer her questions. don’t always use those shortcuts like ROTL or things like that. Use a smiley when you want to make sure she knows it’s a tease or it’s all on fun. that’s what we talked about the non-sequiturs and the call-back humor. excellent point. I did ask him if I could use some of his texting materials here and he went along with it and he says it’s OK which is pretty cool on his part. ask her back a question that you want answered. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you’re lowering your value in her eyes. I hope he texts me back soon. Keep your message shorter than hers was. don’t text full 160 characters when she’s just sending short messages because that makes you look like a kiss-ass. he put out a book called the Dark Side. 3 ----------------------. Alright.
” Qualification.CarlosXuma. it’s not funny. “You need a nice guy not me. “I’m too much of a bad boy for you. I use that one all the time.Page 112----------------------www. “You’re so demanding. “I think you’re a player. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions.” Well that one’s good.” That one’s great. “Wow.” Tease.” There’s a good one. “How much do you miss me?” That’s a great one. can you afford me?” “I’m still hotter than you. 4 ----------------------.” “What’s your real hair color?” “Hey dork. “When can you come over and cook me dinner?” Very directive.” Very good but make sure that you’re not like a super clean cut guy because that’s not going to work at all. very cocky funny.” That one is one of my personal favorites. LLC.” That one’s good because you’re also directing her and guiding her. I think I like it. “Wear something cute and sexy. what’s up?” Here’s a good one. behave and be cool this time.” I like that one too. “You’re out of practice.” “You’re bad. “I’m not sure if you’re what I want. are you always such a pain? This isn’t helping your chances to get with me. “You’re kind of nice but the jury’s out. stop trying to seduce me.com “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Nice try dork.” I like that one. you are so into me. I swear he ripped that off from me.” That’s a great one for a guy to use on a woman.” “You’re just using me.Here are some of the examples of his text and these are awesome so I want you to use some of these too. another qualifying too. I hope you can do better than that.” “Stop thinking about me. I hope you’re rich so you can support me. You’re not my type. you might even be smart too. “You’re naughty. . “I know you want me.” “Miss me?” “I don’t know if you can handle me.
” I like that one. not many women can handle me. 6 ----------------------. especially for spontaneity. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions.” That one’s really good. So those are some awesome text examples and again I had to include those and sent them over to me from. that’s a good one to you. Let’s say that again.com “You can stop by but you have to leave early. material. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. “Drop what you’re doing.CarlosXuma. texting in a nutshell.” and see what kind of response you’ll get. meet me at blank in ten minutes. use it and use it by these rules. meet me at—whatever the location—in ten minutes. oh no.Page 113----------------------www.” That’s good too because that qualifies her and make her seems like she’s not—her teasing isn’t quite as good. “You suck. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.. “Do you have what it takes?” “You’ve got to do better than that.. I think he has an e-book or something like that. LLC. When you just showed spontaneity. Really good stuff. “Drop what you’re doing.” “You suck.” “Not many people can handle me. just randomly send that to her.CarlosXuma. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. I really highly encourage you to use those examples that I just gave you there. it’s great. .com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. LLC.“I don’t put out so easy. I think you’re going to find yourself much more effective in talking to women.” That one’s good.Page 114----------------------www.” Good qualification on that one. So there you go. 5 ----------------------.
some . that’s what good chefs do. and awkward silences are potentially necessary. you actually want them in your conversations. The energy flow between you and a woman. how it really works. o r a little bit of garlic. how to really be more impactful with your conversations and know how it really does work. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.CarlosXuma. 3. I gave you some of my secrets here. the description of the problem and the solution. LLC. how it should go and we also talked about what to do when you run out of conversation. that it’s just not just a sequential approach-attraction-comfort-seduction type scheme. so that you can show how to overcome them. 3. why it works. it’s Carlos and I wanted to slip in just a little bit of a last word here for you to complete this program. how it works. what it is. without being too literal. the critical elements. examples of how it works. you’ve got to really be flexible with it and it’s much better you use things like you’re a chef in a kitchen. These videos though I think are going to help you quite a bit in explaining the overall. the different types of humor. throw it in and know that you’re not going to do any real damage to the meal by the occasional application of these spices and other things that you’re throw in. how to make women laugh.2.com Segment 10: Conclusion & Summary Hey. 1 ----------------------. we’ve covered—I gave you an overview for the foundations and the key element of talking with women. We talked about the flow of conversation.Page 115----------------------www. So as a little bit of a review here. So don’t work too hard to avoid them. the flow of how it really should go. by overcoming them you prove yourself ten times more than any guy who avoids them. taking a little bit of this. Storytelling. pour it in. how to start the conversation or your telling part of the conversation and how to use them and exercises. 2. there’s still more content in the program obviously you’ve got the transcriptions and other information I’ve put into it. I also talked to you about. the grounding concept is to know the inner game but the outer game in conversation and how to talk with women.
com. if you get the chance and I really do need your feedback because I’m going to be creating more fast.mornings when not to use humor. it does work. it’s necessity. you want to make sure to take the leverage of the exercises that I’ve given you on this program.carlosxuma. if I hear enough from you and other guys that want the same thing. LLC. Phone conversation.com If you heard something that what I was talking about in this program that you want a full module of the alpha lifestyle program to based on. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. mention that you have this program because that’s really important to me and then I also want you to mention any topic that you want a full module on. impact modules like this. a little bonus in here and that. what you have for questions and what you want. Then I want you to extend your knowledge of what you learned here into some of my advanced programs because I can’t possibly cover all the fine details of all the stuff in this program. as well as texting. we talked about using your environment.Page 116----------------------www. and go to feedback.CarlosXuma. go to feedback. So there you go. I have a bunch of subdomains in this and I used feedback. it goes back to the same saying that I told you about the start of this program. 1 ----------------------. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. understanding how texting should be handled and used.carlosxuma. I just didn’t have the time to do it but . you’re better off just changing yourself and you’re not compromising yourself here. I’m going to create it and I’m going to make it. we talked about the rules about handling phone conversations with women as well as electronic communication.com and yes. you’re just the reed that bends and does not break. Send me stuff. I want to know what you want to know. just like how to talk to women. I’m going to be covering just about every aspect. doing the free association exercise and the television exercise. 2 ----------------------.carlosxuma. to close off the program. I did not just throw them in on some bullshit stuff of your to do to keep you busy.” But guess what? There are telephones everywhere. you can put in information about yourself.Page 117----------------------www. “I hate the telephone. go to that location. well that’s nice but guess what it’s here to stay. LLC. what’s easier? Changing to world or changing yourself? That’s right.com.CarlosXuma. it’s like saying. these are real exercises that really do work and really improve your abilities in talking to women. if you say you hate texting. You can deny these realities or you can learn on how to incorporate them.com Tools. so let me know so I can create that.
3 ----------------------. I think the tips you’ve learned in here are going to pay you back a thousand fold. anybody. no two ways about it. LLC. Get out there.com. you’re going to learn conversation skills you can apply in your job.com don’t put a www in front of it. the storytelling. First would be Alpha Conversation. Ultimate Inner Game is also another program that I encourage guys to go into because it’s a lot of the times that I’ve talked to guys and say.I gave you the essence.” Well it’s not really that you don’t know how to talk to women. it’s a lot of stuff. ok so take a look at innergame. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.carlosxuma. with your friends. texting examples in here are worth the price of admission alone not to mention all you’ve learned on phone conversation. get lethal with women. the exercising tools to improve your conversation. your energy. a little money out of your wallet just to accommodate this program. 4 ----------------------. dude you’re set.Page 119----------------------- . you view it as if too important and your anxiety and your nerves and your fear get jacked up. same with this. in your family life. I put all my heart and soul into these programs and I think it shows and I’m very glad that you took your time. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. go to that location. there’s no www in front of this by the way. I mean. the humor tips that I gave you. the still concentrated if you will. I think that if you get the Ultimate Inner Game and the Alpha Conversation with this program. just the text examples I gave you. this is Carlos Xuma from carlosxuma. “You don’t have any problems approaching women and I want to get into a conversation that’s when I have a lot of problems. I put a ton of shit in there.carlosxuma.com So there you go. and why does that happen? Inner game.com. of what you need to talk with women. it’s that you’ve got something going on that pulls you back inside your head and makes you anxious and makes it hard for you to deal with a conversation at hand. Alpha Conversation and Persuasion is pretty much be the end of all program for conversation and talking with not just women. what to do when you run out of conversation. And I’ll talk to you again soon back again. LLC. influencing people.CarlosXuma. you’re going to be freaking lethal. The two programs I highly recommend you to take a look at if you want to really master this if you want to go to you Masters Degree about talking with women.com.carlosxuma. the alpha conversation and persuasion program which is also available at conv.carlosxuma.com.Page 118----------------------www. So when you go to feedback. just go to conv. dude. the bigger tools.
Remember. I’m going to give you some of my top banter and conversational tactics that I like to use with women. that’s not going to work for you.Page 120----------------------www. These are pretty much the only tools you’re going to need to really start generating some attraction with women. material. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1. 3. There’s attraction itself. she knows you’re there because you’re attracted to her and you’re interested in her and you’re “hitting on her.com BONUS: Banter & Attraction Conversation Alright.www. but now yo u see differently: This section is important. 3.CarlosXuma. there are two sides to connection.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. LLC. You start off a conversation that way but very quickly. 1 ----------------------. if you use too much of your time and you spend too much of it rather trying to get her to laugh or making things funny... 2. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. There’s always . © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.CarlosXuma.” Don’t ever try and defeat that. which is the escalation of energy within the conversation and then there’s the form of attraction that is rapport which is creating the connection between you two. “OK. what’s this guy all about? Why is he here? Why is he talking to me?” Yeah. it’s always there. 2. Now. it’s obvious. a woman’s got to ask that question that’s burning inside her head.
you know what? I dig you and I’m going to see how you feel about it. she’s going to realize that you’ve lost your edge. and the one thing that if they can. it really doesn’t matter which way you take that but either way you present it. you’re going to be doing much. And if you try to prepare for every single test and every situation you run into. most guys will back off. you’ve lost your charge. You’re going to fail. you can’t have a utility belt with a bullet for every situation in it. you’re going to try and get me to bed and you better not even try honey because this stuff ain’t for free. and you have to be willing to just sit there in the same space with that weird vibe of. That’s what she’s watching for. don’t you? You women these days. “Hitting on you? You do like to rush things. She got me. You can answer the question anyway you like as long as it’s with a noapology kind of attitude. you can never be in the state of. Because why? Because if most guys cannot handle. you’ve lost your .” Or you could say something like.confidence. Next thing you know. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P . you could say. I just got caught.come on.” and then just sit there with it. you are going to screw it up. let’s just say that a woman that you’re talking to. It’s just a simple fact. if you’re putting or a sexual connotation when you’re with a be willing to ride that out. That’s the unfortunate thing.” Now you see there’s two different avenues that I took it down. That’s it. you’ve got to keep going with it until you get what you want or you’ve got to move on. then you’ve got to roductions. that it is. much worse than if you did none of the stuff that I teach . right? She’s looking at either one.CarlosXuma. Yea right. ” If you fall into that particular mode. And the real trick to this is that if you cop out to your actual desire. in other words. hit that sexual edge. 1 ----------------------. always got to be in a hurry. LLC. you cannot prepare for anything. I’m hitting on you. “Yeah.Page 121----------------------www. That’s the one thing that women are watching to see things into a sexual edge woman. They’re scared of it because it feels like it’s coming to a critical point or critical decision point. right there. So remember that. “Uh oh.and it’s just not going to work for you. they will actually release the pressure because they’re uncomfortable with it. throws the old test at you of. “So what are you doing? Are you hitting on me?” What do you say to that? Well.sexual charge between men and women. Most guys when pushed to the point of making an interaction with a woman. I think you’re pretty cool. It’s how you handle at that she’s going to be watching. that’s really it and this is the one thing that’s toughest to guys.com You’ve got to go with it. I am hitting on you. say it with me . “Hey. Because when it comes right down to it we cannot prepare you for every single situation and in every single test you’re going to run into. and it is.
yeah. LLC. As a matter of fact. you just put the X and the TREME. In fact. You must be so smart. I just love this song.A.Page 123----------------------- . Let me give you another example. you’re going to take it to the X-treme.CarlosXuma. LLC. what are you doing? You’re filling your head up and you’re staying in your head and you’re losing touch with the moment that you’re sitting right inside of with her. you must be one of those brainy chicks. This is called the extreme . maybe it’s a.” You say to her. And she says to you. One of the best strategies I’ve ever used and and memorize and just apply that you’re going to priceless.you have all of those on hand. you know what? Put it on my butt cheek. every time I wipe my butt now. Let’s say she’s going to Pepperdine and you say. I grew up in a trailer park. “You know what? I love this song too. 3 ----------------------. What’s your IQ? Like 3 billion? 3 billion thousand? 3 billion 150 billion thousand? Because you can tell. I’ve got some for you. and she’s going to college and she’s going to Pepperdine just outside of L. I just love this song so much. “Yeah.Page 122----------------------www. Whatever a woman says to you.like where they put the X instead of the E in front of it.” Now what do you do right here? You take it to the Extreme.” And she says. 2 ----------------------. you must be so smart.” This is great because it gets her laughing almost every single time. it is all over my butt cheek. That’s more important than anything else I can teach you about banter. let’s get into really good stuff here this is so easy to use really find this to be the techniques and tactics you can use. The most ridiculous extreme. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. I’m smart. I was going to have it tattooed on my you-know but that’s just awfully painful so I just said. “Wow. I can see that your cranium. I had all of the lyrics tattooed at my left butt cheek. it’s called the EXTREME.com So now. I don’t know.” Now you see what I’m doing there? I’m just taking whatever she says and I’m going to the extreme. I mean. I love so much. your head is bulging at the seams to contain that brain of yours. you know what? I hear that it’s a pretty good school. There’s a song that comes over the speakers in the bar that you’re in and she says she loves it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I ain’t so smart. I think of that song. Let’s say you’re talking to her and you’ve got into the conversation on where she’s going to school. “Wow. a song by U2. X-treme. in fact. “Wow.
a woman’s priority is to maintain and develop the connections with the people that are important to her in her life. Whatever it is that she says.” Or something that she disagrees with you on. LLC. but she would always have a network of people that could help her out. they talk to their friends. left and right. Because literally.CarlosXuma.CarlosXuma. they talk in the bathroom.Page 124----------------------www. keeping those connections with her are more important to her than anything else. very savvy to banter and conversation with men and they will challenge you at it and it will become something of a chess game with you. “You know what? You’re right. Trust me on this. I hate that stuff. talk. right? They talk to each other. “Oh. establishing.” You look at her and go. It’s because they don’t know how to hang in there and stay in there in the right way. OK? Very important concept there. And this is why there are so many guys that get tooled out of conversations and blown out. has more value to her as a friend than he does as a boyfriend. she’d always have support and that ensures her survival.com Let me give you a last example of taking it to the extreme. guys come through her life. right? A guy friend that she has. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. This is why women are so reluctant to turn a friend into a boyfriend. talk. All they do is talk. something like. because it’s just her method of establishing a connection with the other person. they talk to their mom. this meant that she had a strong social network which meant that she was going to be assured of surviving in case something. She’s approached all the time. she can meet and date any number of guys that come into her life. 4 ----------------------.www. She just has no need of a guy that’s already proven herself to not have sexual charge. Women are so much better at this because it’s what they naturally do. you know what? I just don’t like that beer. God forbid whatever happened to the man in her life. talk. it is so awful. Oh my . You’re talking about stuff and you bring out the fact that you like that Fat Tire Ale and she says to you. you’re going to encounter many more women that are hip to the ways of conversation than you will guys. connections to her. So by virtue of that.com You take it to the extreme and she’s going to laugh and she’ll also start to get the feeling that she cannot out game you in conversation because there’ s a lot of chicks out there that are very. they talk on the phone. they talk. Back in the evolutionary scheme of things. right? And if anything happened. “Oh God. Remember. I just don’t even know why they make it so awful.
“Look. Later she’s talking about how she’s so glad she finally bought her iPhone and you look at her and say. right? I’m changing my mind to make her sound a little bit goofy and dumb for it. I call it the “Tag Line” technique. The first part is. left and right. but bring it back when the timing feels right. The tag-line is what really makes it kill though.” Anything you say. I’ve been riding my bike lately everywhere I go and I just found out that riding your bike. I’m taking it to the extreme and I’m doing it in a way that lets me actually contradict myself and not seem like an idiot. 5 ----------------------. “You know what? I just heard that a meteor is going to crash into the moon at 4:37pm tomorrow morning. I mean. swimming and bicycling all week long. I hope you can see how that works for you. “You know. I read it in Cosmo. not necessarily extreme.God.” And that can be. you could take this stuff and fill up a moat around a castle and nobody would cross the moat because they would not want to get anywhere near Fat Tire Ale. but the first couple of times you do it. Here’s another technique because this one’s very important and meant for punching down and breaking down the walls of the people put around themselves socially. This is going to take a bit of cultivation in terms of timing. you keep coming back to that again and again. you say. Again.CarlosXuma. Look.” OK? See? You just throw that joke right back in. it’s got to be true. whatever you do. but just kind of dumb-funny and then you add on a little tag line to it. “I read it in Cosmo. It’s terrible. I guess .com That’s the tag line. taking it to the extreme. I read it in Cosmo. I’m going to give you an example here of how this works. and you tell her. you’re guaranteed to have a little fun with it.’ Come on!” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions.” You see what I’m doing? Again. It’s not like I’m trying to kiss her ass. Hey. Women are going to try and resist your conversation especially in. I just can’t believe how horrible this stuff is. especially for women. ridiculous or not could be validated just by throwing that tag line. It is awful. As a matter of fact. “You know what? I totally agree with you. Right? It becomes the in joke of your conversation. which is. Here’s another example of a good banter technique.Page 125----------------------www. maybe she’s training for a triathlon. OK women? It increases your sex drive like ten times. Don’t overdo it. I read it in Cosmo. so she’s been running.” You make anything you want true because you read it in Cosmo. it’s Cosmo. you’re talking about exercise. I read it in Cosmo. You could take that stuff and literally embalm the dead with it. you cannot argue with the big ‘C. LLC. I read it in Cosmo. It’s true. Take something that she says and make it ridiculous. it’s what we called “return humor” or what I call a nonsequitur humor.
or high target rich environments like yeah. The amount of time that it takes her to figure this out is also a test of my own but eventually she looks at you and goes. I’m going to give you an example of this. You just said. when you’re early in the conversation. So what you do is. this breakthrough technique is meant to immediately shut down this mechanism as soon as possible. Once you start to get the vibe of the conversation like. higher “proof” conversation. “Oh. “Do you bunch or fold?” And then she looks at me and goes.you’d call it. they’re going to mess with you. how the hell is she going to know who’s worth talking to. “Bunch or fold?” Everything else was interpreted inside her mind. you know beer which is kind of low proof 3% or 6% alcohol and then which is a little stronger and then you’ve got liquors and of the ladder you’ve got really strong liquor 100 proof and Well this is the 100 proof and up stuff. It’s her test. She starts to. OK? What you’re doing is basically “doing shots” with a woman of conversation.bars and clubs. you guessed it . Usually they answer it because they find it so funny in such a gross way but the funny thing was. So she can’t hold you guilty for it. you can sense when a woman is actually ready for stronger content. it’s exactly what it is because it’s such a strong and potent . you just brought up the topic. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. fuck with them to find out. something like that but not in a crude way. Because it’s a trial by fire to see if you’ve got what it takes to actually breakthrough and make good conversation. Women are going to play around with you . more high approach. “Do you bunch or fold?” And it takes a few seconds before they finally figure out what I’m talking about is toilet paper. it’s part of the trial.CarlosXuma.Page 126----------------------www. you didn’t say anything gross. I like to think like you’ve got you’ve got wine then at the top up. That’s right. they’re going to make it difficult.com One of the ones I love to use whenever I’m out talking to women is. pardon the expression. 6 ----------------------. I also like to bring up things that are just totally out of the blue. And I’m serious. gross! What do you mean?” That’s your answer. Women are going to resist you because it’s part of their testing process. about it as being like. not because they’re cruel but because they’ve got so many guys walking up to them and talking to them. “What?” I go. you’re going to put up a very edgy comment to a woman about something that’s like sexual or just dirty humor. Now. doing shots. LLC.
“So my friend was saying the other day that he thinks that kissing during sex is either totally pointless or totally necessary. I still get behind it. “Isn’t that funny how cleavage kind of looks like the crack of a butt? Why is that? Why are we attracted to cracks of butts and cleavage?” Here’s another one. it really jacks up the energy suddenly. his uncle worked in an emergency room. I still back it up. here’s why. right? So another one might be something like. mushy. This is another great one for conversation that you need to use. Can you believe that?” So something like that would be a little more for shock value and you can kind of gauge off of her response. LLC.CarlosXuma. “Wait a minute. You can really get really edgy and some guys can pull this off. damn that was strong.Page 127----------------------www. you’re just totally into it. “You know. not that there’s anything wrong with being a Puerto Rican but you’ve got . “You know. so she’s sitting in the waiting room with the humming noise. Like.” Right? But at the same time it’s invigorating. I think you need to be a Mexican.” Or here’s another one.com Here’s another one. it’s just like you’re doing a shot. I’m Puerto Rican. I think baby butts are the funniest looking butts in the world. Like guessing what a nationality of a woman is or her occupation. I actually use. “Whoa. This is when. lovemaking stuff. “Yeah. I happen to be one of them because I use some pretty risqué and strong humor with women and I get away with it because of the way I put it out there. “No.addition to the conversation.” and then you kind of go. You might be one of those guys. One of the stories that he said. there was one gal that was using one that was a little too small for her hu-hoo and lost it inside but the thing was still on. “I was talking to my ex-girlfriend the other day and she said she had sex on Alcatraz. I make an observation and even if it’s way of or wrong. you just want to throw her against the wall or it’s that soft. OK. so let’s say you met a woman. 7 ----------------------. I have this friend of mine. and you’ll be like.” And then a tag along to that would be. wait a minute here. Like I’ll talk about a friend of mine who has an uncle who worked in an emergency room and he told me some of the things that went on and some of it was pretty funny. and she’s just sitting there and going ooh!-hoo!-wooh! Can you imagine that? Can you imagine how embarrassing would that be?” Now the last technique I’m going to go on with you here is called Pushing Perception. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. What do you think?” Now that one’s not as edgy as the others. you’re talking to her and you kind of go. “Don’t tell me but I bet you’re Mexican aren’t you?” And she looks back at you and says. and you would be amazed to know just how many vibrator related incidents they get in the emergency room everyday. I’ll say to a group of women.
9 ----------------------. Alright. This is showing your willingness to go out there all on your own. I bet you would kill on your own TV show. you need to just go in Monday morning. you’re not Mexican.” And you look at her and kind of go. how many years will it get you through nursing school?” See what I did? I got right behind what I said even though it’s clearly wrong. you’re guessing what she does for a living.com like. “Oh.” And then I’ll make a little frame with my fingers. you look like you’re a nurse. Oh you’re Puerto Rican? Oh yeah. I’m going to be your career counsellor for a while because obvious you’re not just handling this right. you would be so good on the silver screen. LLC.” Again. “No. I’m imagining her inside a movie frame. You ever thought about that? Wait a minute. you’re a nurse.that really strong Latina way about you. most guys let’s face it. what do they do when they make a mistake in cold reading a woman? They backtrack and they sound like total freaking idiots. we could create a TV show for. “Oh.CarlosXuma. it’s more important that I handle it that way © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. hand in your little resignation letter and you need to start becoming a nurse. you’re much more impressive when the more you can do something ridiculous even if it’s backing up something that’s clearly wrong.” And she’ll say. OK.” You know they sound like total idiots when they try and cover up their tracks like that.Page 129----------------------www. I have that warm nurturing way about you. I could just totally see you on my screen play. Let me tell you.com . You’re definitely not an accountant. I’m having fun with it. it’s called Killer Puerto Ricans Who Just Don’t Want To Be Mexicans. like almost sitcom Latina.Page 128----------------------www. you’ve got to take the nervous little jump off the edge of the pool into the cold water of “I might be offensive. No. no.CarlosXuma. wait a minute. 8 ----------------------. “No. You know what I mean? It’s kind of © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. Come on let’s talk about this. I don’t care how long it takes you. Another example. That’s it. have fun with it and yes. And this is actually at the very edge of that we’re trying to play with the fringe energy of trying to be a little bit on the unacceptable. I’m an accountant. I love Puerto Rico. I’ve actually eaten at a Puerto Rican restaurant once. I bet you’re a nurse. LLC. be confident and even back up something that isn’t right. so let’s see. you go. no. “No.” Alright? It’s going to happen from time to time but you know what? It’s easy to get out of.
so let’s not go there.” See what I’m doing? I’m just taking it to extremes. And it’s kind of a closing gambit. “You’re such an asshole.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. I’m crushed. it’s harder to bounce back from. I am the biggest asshole you’ll ever see. Yes that’s right. put on a mustache and come out to talk to women and I’ve got to go back and I’m afraid I’m just going to rub Preparation H all over me because I am the biggest asshole. Rebound energy means that after a certain point of either turning off a woman or pushing her to the limits and this has to be done early on. You just can’t go any further after a certain point. my name’s Carlos. Let’s just say you just walked up to a really attractive woman and you say. even when you make mistakes. 10 ----------------------. what’s yours?” And she’ll say. I’m pushing myself down asshole road to let her know that. inside I am totally wet tissue. If you screwed up later on. Who died?” And one of the girls goes. you know what? You can give your analysis all you like.com And you’ll look at her and go. trying to be ridiculous and I’ll keep working it. And after that.” OK. I want to shake your hand. I am literally an asshole. “Beat it. I usually keep pushing it because let’s face it.Page 130----------------------www. I am. It’s what I needed tonight. I’ll give you an example. let me shake your hand. you’re an accountant. it can’t be done later on when you’ve already been working to get a good connection.CarlosXuma. Let me tell you honey. Alright? You know better now that the best way to handle a conversation is always on your own terms. I should have you do my taxes.” And the guy looks at her and says. LLC. “You know what? You’re right. you’re talking about something. “Wow that is so cool. you freaking moron. oh. you two ladies look kind of down. whatever it may be. yesterday. “Her best friend. at a certain point. “Hey. you make them for yourself. that is like the ultimate rejection. it all becomes rebound energy. you are an expert. “Oh. But this return energy that you get is so effective in turning around a bitchy woman especially early on. Whatever mistake you may make in a conversation whether it’s offending a woman or whether it’s turning her off.” OK. keep watching their reactions to see how they’re responding to it and they keep getting more and more grim. “Wow man. the best way to handle it is usually just to go to the extreme.than I do something like. I just turned myself inside out for tonight. I mean. you take the extreme on this. Take a look at me. What I want to do in this particular episode is I want to give you my all purpose. I am so glad you totally rejected me there. this actually happened to somebody and he said. oh so you must be good at math. you can go no further in terms of turning a person off. I don’t know. that’s a pretty serious conversational mess up and the woman followed up with something like. I’ll push . I’m actually going to go now and meet every woman in this bar because you have given me the worst rejection of my life. I’m huge. get out of jail free card. Let’s say. I’ll give you an example of this.” Again. I can swallow up this bar. I’m not letting it go.
You’re really riding your own waves of . it doesn’t really matter which ones you use.com at it. So keep that under your hat. get her to know that you’ve got this good confident Alpha Man energy and then you merely dive into those areas that are going to establish the most trust and real connection with her and I mean. Being self-amused means that you’re just happy to be there. believe it or not.CarlosXuma. Now as long as you’re not abrasive and attacking her. you’ve probably heard this a billion times before and you’ll hear it a billion times again. any rapport that you’ve strike right after it. is this willingness to not backtrack and not go back and salvage things and save face but be steadfast in going down the same road you were going down at the start of the conversation which is the way you came in on it.it even further and that will actually turn the conversation around. Then there’s the attraction connection energy which is more like what we call. you’ve lost her. effective techniques to use in conversation and of course there’s a billion of them. the stuff we’re going to talk about in this program and further episodes coming up. alright? And this is going to be one of those things that’s going to cause a lot of the guys’ problems but rapport is attraction if it is handled in the right way. vicious spirited humor. I have often talked about attitude that an alpha man has. it’s the willingness to go too far. You’re not using anybody else’s energy. That’s the attraction energy. So you get her to laugh a little bit. rapport. And a little sub-note here. it doesn’t even matter even if you use mine. doing it with anger and a subtle undercurrent of sarcasm and really mean. So I want you to stay tuned for that. It really works. LLC. One is the activation energy. cocky and funny and teasing and all that stuff you’ve the self-amused and so critical because it’s the whole heart of probably read about. the second that you show a woman that you need her approval.Page 131----------------------www. 11 ----------------------. it’s the willingness to say something brash and over the top just to get her to react in some way. You really can’t afford to spend too much of your time trying to build up attraction at the start because if you’re waiting too long or working too hard © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. It does work. you can definitely turn it around. it’s the spark. You’re on your own terms. these are some of the things that I use all the time and very effective. Rapport is attraction. to get her to acknowledge the conversation and come out of her shell and drop those shields. it’s the kick in the ass. it doesn’t matter if you use any of them but the point again is to keep in mind those two essential energies to the conversation. is going to seem hollow and false. Some powerful stuff here. yeah. And it’s so essential self-amusement really underlies your entire attitude. But these are great attraction building mechanisms by virtue of using the banter and handling yourself in conversations. those are the most powerful. Trust me. If you show her that you need her approval. You don’t need her approval. But what it is. real connection.
OK? It’s like a surfer that’s literally setting up a little wave machine in his bathtub and he’s in there with a little wakeboard. like putting yourself too much out there to be rejected. You’re establishing your own little fortress of solitude within a social situation.Page 132----------------------www. it’s that willingness to kind of cut off her energy and show her that. 12 ----------------------.oh. you don’t tell her what you were laughing at. “You know what? I don’t need your approval from my own having fun. This is where you get enough safety or feeling of safety in your life to be able to go into conversations and not feel like you’re leveraging yourself.” and the other girl’s kind of smirking a little bit. women pick up on this. I’ll give you a very small example of a self-amused attitude so you can kind of see it in its process. I’m going to get myself another drink. I mean. When you can express that to your own self-amusement. “Well.CarlosXuma. And you don’t explain it to her. that was really kind of funny but for some reason just felt kind of flat in the group. he’s always impervious to the comments. I’m not talking like idiot laughter like (laugh). he’s always got this bubble of safety around him. Maybe you were talking about that story I gave you about the woman in the waiting room where she lost the vibrator inside her. to the insults of a woman because nothing really gets through to him. you look at her and go. I’ve got to get back. oh the women today. “This is so cute.com You know. “Uh.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. they just want to make guys fall in love with them. This is the secret of every guy that’s great in conversation is. that little noise thing where you’re going. he’s just having a blast on top of the water and it’s all his fun. think of something funny that genuinely amuses you. I’m talking about just self-amused laughter were you sit there and go (laugh) and shake your head and then take a sip of your drink and then you just start talking about something else. Make it your own private little moment within the greater conversation you’re having with her. This is important. You don’t tell her what it is and even if she asks you. to the tests. LLC. you know what? I guess you had to be there. That’s true self-amusement and I’m not just saying that laugh and pretend that there’s something funny.happiness and having fun. I thought it was pretty damn funny. that’s got to be effective. you must really . let’s say it was a story of yours. because they know that you’re not in the conversation trying to leach energy off of them. laugh at it. Let’s say you’re talking about something that she thought it was pretty funny. I mean. And it’s the same with conversation. He doesn’t need anybody else there with him.” Another example of this is just laughing for no apparent reason. and you make that imitation of her. She can call him any name in the book and he’s got this little bubble up. and then don’t let her in on the joke. and your own ability to stay self-amused. Anyway. to the jabs.
It always depend on you’re in.com I recommend you just have fun with it. “Oh ok. Ohio huh? Anyway. I can’t help but throw this in. it doesn’t bother me because I haven’t given so much of myself to this interaction. If I ever do that. you don’t go there. I’ve got tons of them and you’re going to be getting the benefit of all of them in these episodes from these program. If you bring up something sexual or she brings up something sexual. you can pretend where you have that little yourself and get away with it. is to watch out for how you handle the sexual innuendos in the conversation. So let’s say that the conversation was going to the direction of how her best friend is really kind of slutty and now she’s suddenly into doing all these kinky things. yes. it really does have to happen to you. Sometimes you can make it up and get away with it but I highly recommend you don’t.Page 133----------------------www. And then you blame her for making it dirty. It can happen in more subtle ways too like. This is how we get the effect of role reversal with women. “What is she doing? Is she sticking feathers in her butt?” No. 13 ----------------------. another example of self-amusement. that I have it turnaround.CarlosXuma. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. you don’t just make this stuff up. You watch how she handles it and this is the most important rule for guys.get a lot of dates with that kind of attitude. And then your temptation is going to be to start asking her about what are all those kinky things. you’re in the wrong there you go. You’ve got to turn it back around and get it going back on a straight tangent. One of the most important things you can do in conversation. “I wasn’t even sure if I was going to come . maybe you’re talking about something and there was this Beavis and Butthead moment where she says something dirty like. What you say to her is something like. let’s get this back on a clean track here or you’re going to think I’m a slut and I am definitely not that honey. Again. So And I have one more tip. LLC. you have to always be the first one to turn the conversation back around into a non-sexual direction. She tells you she’s from Ohio and you look at her and kind of go. so where in Ohio are you from?” Did you see what I did there? I had a little moment with myself where I was remembering something that happened to me in Ohio and yes. “Oh. I’m lost. the situation moment with congruent with it.” Do you see what I’m doing there? I’m totally impervious. you go on. that I’m invested. So how are you going to handle it with your friend? Are you going to sit around and never talk with her or something?” You see what I did there? I went in the opposite direction that most guys would’ve gone with the conversation which is to keep pushing the sexual innuendo on it and keep it going that way. so she’s a little bit of a dirty bird that’s cool but come on. don’t push the sexual innuendo in the conversation. but you’ve really got to be you’re doing it just to get an effect. If headspace.
Some women are going to go kind of perverted. And the same thing is true today. that’s ridiculous. “Oh. you don’t want to communicate that you’re a horn-dog out to just slip it into any woman. One of the things that was considered a weakness in men in years gone by. So © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pro ductions. “Oh. they used to judge men by their sexual appetites. LLC. a man that cannot control his sexual urge or at least contain it and then redirect it. I mean. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to come tonight. Now the temptation is what? Yeah.” And you’re really talking about the party that you’re at. If a man had an overtly large sexual appetite. Remember that you want to communicate that you’re a sexual man. because that’s an important distinction for any guy.tonight.com you? Well pity that.Page 134----------------------www. she says something like that and you’re at a party with her. you weren’t sure huh?” You look at her and kind of make a goofy smile. 15 ----------------------.CarlosXuma. Does that make sense? I hope so. She’s going to become self conscious and pull back. Some will just go way out there and those are the women that you should chase down the energy as far as you want to go with it. Let’s get this back in a clean path here Miss Dirty Bird. And this particular strategy of maintaining your control over sexual innuendo in your conversation really demonstrates that with women.” OK. “Well OK.” You know something like that. LLC.com . “No. like thousands of years ago. Think about that for a minute. you want to go.Page 135----------------------www. But most women want to go there just a little bit just to test the waters and make sure that you’re not judging her. I would’ve loved to heard you moan. You don’t want to try and contain those women. That’s how you keep the sexual innuendo from going too far in the wrong direction. he was viewed as being effeminate or weak because he didn’t know how to govern his own impulses. it’s virility to know when to and when not to and how to manage that energy. do something physical right at that moment. And it happens in much more subtle ways like say for example you make a comment like. And she looks at you and wink at you. you know what I mean. you didn’t did © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Pr oductions. 14 ----------------------. It’s not virility to pop your dick in everything that moves.CarlosXuma. OK? So they’re looking for that judgment impulse in you that you might think that she’s slutty.” And that’s when I kind of push her on the shoulder or bump hips with her. is viewed as being weak.
. There you go.com YOUR STUDY NOTES: Note something new youʼve learned in this module: Note something you heard and maybe knew. LLC.. LLC. That’s the ultimate strategy in this conversation. Write down 3 new “conversation bites” (word for word) o f your own that you can use to inject this material into your conversations rig ht away: 1.CarlosXuma. © 2 008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. you pull back for her. 1 ----------------------. 16 ----------------------.Page 136----------------------www. 3. 2.CarlosXuma.don’t make her pull back. There’s a ton of stuff right there that you can use in your conversation with women for banter and really getting the energy going. as it will “lock in” your Write down 3 action steps you can take right now to start adding this into your own understanding conversations with women: of the 1. 2. 3. material. but not limited .. The information contained in or made available through this Product cannot replace or substitute for the services o f trained professionals in any eld..com © DD Publications.Page 137----------------------www. Morpheus Productions. LLC. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus P roductions. including. but now yo u see differently: This section is important.
injury.to. exemplary or other damages that may result. illness or death. or application of medication or preparation by any person following the information offered or provided herein. psychological. Neither Carlos Xuma nor our associates. nancial. . medical. DD Publications and our licensors or suppliers make no representations or warranties concerning any treatment. or legal matters. special. including but not limited to economic loss. indirect. In particular. will be liable for any direct. particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. action. you should regularly consult a doctor in all matters relating to physical or mental health. LLC. or any of their af liates. consequential. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Producti ons.
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue listening from where you left off, or restart the preview.