SEX ENCYCLOPEDIA

ADVANCED FELLATIO TECHNIQUES...............................................................2 Advanced Techniques..................................................................................................... 3 1. Swallowing (without it tasting really bad).......................................................... 3 2. Deep Throating (overcoming the gag reflex)...................................................... 3 3. Texture (don't just keep repeating a single motion)............................................ 4 Various Other Oral Techniques ...................................................................................... 4 1. Sucking really hard ............................................................................................. 4 2. Licking ................................................................................................................ 4 3. Giving him the shaft............................................................................................ 4 4. Having a ball ....................................................................................................... 5 5. Hands .................................................................................................................. 5 6. The Cock Pull ..................................................................................................... 5 7. The Drum ............................................................................................................ 5 TURN HIM ON TONIGHT.....................................................................................7 1. How to light his fire ............................................................................................ 7 2. How to Dress for Great Sex ................................................................................ 7 3. How to Cook Up Some Good Loving................................................................. 7 4. How to Get a Romantic Glow............................................................................. 8 5. Seducing Him With Scent................................................................................... 8 6. How to Smooth the Way..................................................................................... 8 7. How to Ignite Passion with Music ...................................................................... 9 8. How to Take It Off.............................................................................................. 9 FEMALE EJACULATION TECHNIQUES ..........................................................10 1. Simulation ......................................................................................................... 10 2. Stroking............................................................................................................. 10 3. If she isn’t ejaculating…................................................................................... 10 HIS ORGASM: 10 THINGS HE IS DYING TO TELL YOU.................................12 1. Tell Him He's Got the Night Off ...................................................................... 12 2. Hold Back the Goods ! Tonight and Tomorrow ............................................... 13 3. Extend Your Love Strokes as Long as He Can Stand It ! and Then Some....... 13 4. Intercept His Drive to the Finish Line .............................................................. 13 5. Slam-Dunk Him With a Quickie....................................................................... 13 6. Catch Him With His Defenses Down ............................................................... 14 7. Go Straight for His Most-Prized Possession..................................................... 14 8. Explore the Forbidden Zones............................................................................ 14 9. Respect the Sacred Moment.............................................................................. 14 10. Love Him to Death........................................................................................ 15

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. When doing this. a lot of guys feel uncomfortable with attention to it... but that's not what this article's about) are also essential. "Tortured" means "kept sexually excited. With women. When starting out. A good butt massage. as well as making it harder for you to tell what works with them. yet. on both men and women. and if you pay attention it should become obvious. See. the stronger his orgasm will be. there is a much better chance that the guy will be impatient. the best bet is to start slowly. in the advanced section. and there is most definitely a lower overall standard as to what most guys will enjoy. but some guys don't want much of this at all. Most guys are very different than women. DO NOT be afraid to use your hands. But it is an erotic zone. and so a patting sensation on the butt was a good standard signal for hormones to start moving. This is because our distant ancestors often had sex "doggy style". caressing. actually have some automatic sexual response linked to them. is the best bet. so part of taking your time would include almost touching. Guys have it too. the longer a guy is "tortured" (as one of the best fellatio artists I know puts it). "Most guys" means most guys. again. With that in mind. remember the "many guys get impatient" rule. but not necessarily actually touching his erotic zones. it is not the way to give the best orgasm. if he's not a GIOQ type. This is a shame. and indirectly. not all guys. of course.. stereotypically. don't stick only to the penis. when it comes to what they enjoy. I cases like that. Unfortunately.. in fact). With guys.but only if your relationship (or their personality) is secure enough to allow it. Men tend to be more visual than women. but can with your hands. because it keeps them from enjoying it as much. starting out very slowly is more important. especially because it includes the prostate gland.. or perhaps gently rhythmic pressure.ADVANCED FELLATIO TECHNIQUES First. I say carefully because. Remember that some guys do prefer it. especially from repeated pressure. The scrotum/gonads (I mostly use technical terms. a woman caller bragged that her nickname was "eight seconds".kissing around the rest of his body (depending on what's accessible under the circumstances).. and stimulated..I can write great erotic literature. the better. But more. especially by telling them it excites you (hopefully this is true). though. for example (I'm one of those guys. 2 . If he's not one of those get-it-over-quick (GIOQ) types. just to keep things consistent. Even among eroginous zones. on Don & Mike (radio gods). Specific techniques in the advanced section. The cheeks of the butt. but not actually allowed to have an orgasm". Some guys have more sensitive nipples than most women. While a sizable portion of guys do actually like that. talking about them perhaps being more expressive. meaning the time it took her to bring a guy to orgasm from fellatio. there are many things you simply cannot do with your mouth. another general difference is that guys are less expressive. The longer you can drag out each step (while still making progress). for the same reason they have nipples. In fact. The anus should be carefully mentioned here. everything here is a generalization. can really get some guys going. it's the worst way. The other day.

2. to a lot of guys. This is the only reason one tastes it. either for the flavor or because bringing that kind of pleasure to their lover is so wonderful. and even that is much weaker than if you had allowed it to stay in your mouth. as do some spices). This technique fast-swallowing actually feels better. with some guys. in an attempt to not offend or upset. they do have frail egos. But it is. it's worth note that you get tiny cuts in your mouth when you brush your teeth. and fatty foods make it taste worse. I guess. You might find it a bit disappointing. Of course plenty of guys really don't care. I should point out that a large minority of people enjoy the taste. so I only bring this up so we've made clear which way's more likely to work "best". If you can get te tip into the back of your mouth without having a gag reflect problem (more on that later). and astronimically less than catching it from anal sex. Advanced Techniques 1. But most guys are used to lovers not swallowing. Heh. only a mental barrier stands between those who "can't" and those who can. This depends a lot on the guy himself (each guy tastes different. Oh. But for most guys swallowing makes a (positive) difference. or don't even like their lover swallowing. immediately and hard. Try chewing gum instead. so you might want to avoid brushing right before fellatio. just start swallowing. because spitting. or you can't.. claim that it's not really a big deal. The odds of the blow-ee catching HIV/AIDS from the blow-er are probably about the same as if you were shaking hands. For a woman. or evading the ejaculation altogether. if not just plain hurtful. All that's left is a vague aftertaste. But you have to know the technique. Swallowing (without it tasting really bad) This is possible. Deep Throating (overcoming the gag reflex) 3 . the ejaculation will go completely down your throat without you tasting it at all. while even more haven't had the chance to find out the difference. wouldn't you. and also on what they eat (rumor has it that fruit makes it taste better. This isn't just because it feels better.they just hide it more. the question of spitting versus swallowing comes up. or more intimate. then you don't need an example. The odds of the person sucking/swallowing catching it are way less than the odds of transmitting HIV/AIDS by coitus. you've probably had it done to you.. Some people. though they heal in minutes. aside from a few people who had a form of gum disease that resulted in a lot of open cuts in their mouth. Don't forget that. than if you had paced it normally. though guys have a different kind of insecurity than women. but: When a guy starts to cum. It's also. Instead. which makes up probably more instances of transmission than all other forms of transmission combined. to hold it in one's mouth for a moment before swallowing. In fact. Condoms This is your call.Once he can't take it any more. some very much so). overall. The trick is to not taste it at all. So excited smiles/faces and noises can. perhaps even mainly. imagine a guy starting to go down on you and then making sputtering noises and wiping your juices frantically from his tongue and lips. In fact. there is little evidence at all of HIV/AIDS being transmitted to someone who was performing fellatio. brings on (even if they consciously know it's not the case) a sense of rejection (conscious or subconscious). Oh.. If you're a guy reading this.. make a big difference in how much they enjoy it. But a larger number think it can taste pretty bad. This sounds too simple to be true. the typical response is to try to pace it a bit.

2. is happening is that your body is trying to swallow. have confirmed this with a banana. technically. Especially since many guys seem to just expect a rhythmic head-bobbing sorta suck-fest. or banana doesn't cooperate. But in that case most of these techniques are wasted on him. really close. because it can be very effective. again. actually. really.. penis. 3. But the rest of guys. or actually pausing any motion while doing it.. Texture (don't just keep repeating a single motion) But don't forget texture. before you've actually touched his penis and are (in theory) exciting him by working up to it. if he seems to respond well to that. a majority. Licking You may think this is obvious. more on that later). 3. but it's not.in some men this is very stimulating. or after he's really. This is because its effect isn't obvious at first. he just wants rhythmic pumping. The "trick" to not "gagging" is to not interrupt the reflex. the largest minority of guys doesn't care at all about variety (in a single session). I.A penis in the back of one's mouth sometimes makes them "gag". And we're not talking about switching every few seconds. The other time is when you've prolonged things until he's so hard and excited that breathing on him seems to get him close. his balls (more on that later). That area can also be sucked on.to really amaze him. I should bring up the texture thing at the end of every section. Switch from one technique to another every so often during a session. Some people can learn to just resist/ignore the reflex. Especially at two points . What.. Especially. and a finger. but even better is to turn it into a real swallow. on the side opposite where his penis would touch his abdomen if pressed against it. but to save time and space I'll just hope you remember this paragraph. OK. But firm. Licking is a great way to make first contact. Giving him the shaft The line down the shaft of his penis. at other times. Various Other Oral Techniques 1. and a finger.. but some are amazed at how good it feels. and even the exact point where the inside of his thigh meets the skin of his scrotum. or a banana. Try to make the change smooth and natural. But licking is another technique that can be surprisingly effective. rhythmic stimulation at some point along the line down his penis on that 4 . It's really just that simple.more like every few minutes. That last spot almost deserves its own section.. anyway. Certainly it's how "deep throat" technique people do it. try sucking hard just on the out-stroke.. Sucking really hard Some guys hate this. I put quotes around "gag" because it's sorta an illusion. This isn't just for swallowing (which it helps). When you would have felt like gagging. don't just stop one thing and start another. personally. This is especially good as a "texture" (variety) change during a blowjob. you swallow. Trace the lines and textures of his head (glans). maybe even longer. down the ridge of his shaft (the side away from his belly/abdomen. It can feel very.Early on. So does a finger. This doesn't just mean sucking at one constant pressure. very good for fellatio overall. early on before you've focused on his penis. are in various categories of liking at least some change at some point during a specific fellatio session. or just on the in-stroke (a more subtle effect). on each side. I believe (don't try it at home) that's how sword swallowers do it. is one of the best-kept secrets.

. may be necessary. and technically it should be. to pull them (again. Saliva may be enough for this. if it's dark) to see what's going on). Depending on the situation. depending on the situation. slowly getting faster. Or licking about firmly at them when not in the mouth. back and forth. If you or he insists on sticking to purely oral. I mean starting on the top and sliding down to the base. or better yet gently pushed with a finger in a rhythmic fashion. with the penis being stimulated at the same time... This can't be done for very long without becoming uncomfortable. (OK. 7. and have him trying to find out what you're doing. Just before it comes off of the tip. I don't think I'll go much into analingus/anal sex. obviously. Having a ball This varies so much from guy to guy that it's kinda hard to nail down. The opposite works.but more find it at least a nice change. or firm sucking (just on that area).side (where exactly it is depends on the person) can have a startling. Gentle. is the one sure way to have a pumping-type stimulation whether hard or not. placing the other hand by the base.. there's obviously caressing. The Cock Pull One really effective trick for direct attention to the penis is to use both hands. et cetera. performing or receiving. some find it fantastic. 4. Starting at the base. say. But. and gently fondling it with the tongue. but firm. The Drum If you want to really amaze him. Keep this up. This may need to be something done rhythmically for more than a little while. start the other hand moving up from the base toward the tip. to really work well. though only with an erect penis. This is also a great thing to do during pauses.. but only in one direction. slide a hand up toward the tip. the tongue. when prolonging things when he's too close to orgasm too soon. are using blood pressure medication or have some other erectile problem. This allows one to avoid the whole butt thing. Various techniques include sucking a whole "ball" into one's mouth. nearby. This. This can be done all over the body. This works great with a really hard penis (and it's so different/stimulating that he'll probably have to look (or ask.gently wrap a thumb and index finger around his nuts. while it's there.. try this . and not just during the initial build-up phase. strong effect. though. this can be done with fingers..but most people are little (or more) uncomfortable with it. that stimulates the prostate. Some guys are almost indifferent to their balls/scrotum being given attention. then a lot of amazing stuff is missed. That would probably require a whole separate article. Hands A lot of the best techniques involve hands. While doing that. put the other hand down on the base. 5. It's my understanding that this works miracles on some people who. considering the proximity to vaginal sexual nerves (women) and the prostate(men). There is a spot along there which can be licked. starting the other hand on the tip before the first finishes. too. and still get a little of the almost magical effect that stimulating the prostate can have. if they're uncomfortable with it.but it's also a great trick for someone who's not erect yet (or even having trouble with it).. one has the base of the scrotum. going in a line toward the anus. or to suck at the skin itself. First. 6.but some additional lubricant. or are even uncomfortable with it. gently) away from his body 5 . I got enough questions about it that I decided to write an article on it: Advanced Anal Sex Techniques) Suffice it to say that a minority of people find this very stimulating. preferably oil-based.

Or fingernail. Then gently (OK. with a very few people it can be more forceful. If one right (and it's hard to get just right). Hands are also a good backup plan for when your mouth tires. but work your way up to it) run your tongue in a circle around that "end" area. The best tactic is make switching back and forth a normal part of your technique. until you have a slight sort of surface tension on the "end" (spot farthest from his body). With a few people you can even use your fingertip. so it's not obvious if/when you do need to take a rest break for your mouth. This won't get most people to orgasm. but it does feel really good. though to me that feels a bit too much like a knife. it creates a really amazing sensation. 6 . a bit like a bulging drum.slightly.

The idea. fruits. she claims. But since no woman feels amorous wearing something that pinches or prohibits breathing. But such advice tends toward the predictable and sounds clinical. So we went to different kinds of experts specialists in music. be flirty: "I want you to touch me like you did last night. Greens. How to Cook Up Some Good Loving The idea is to enjoy a tasty but light meal. fresh? Sure. Don't wait until night time to get things going. and naughty. Plus.TURN HIM ON TONIGHT It's his birthday or your anniversary. Here's their advice: easy. The more vegetables. stimulate hormone production and increase circulation. low voice." "Silence makes the listener uncomfortable and spoils the mood. even if it's just "aaah. so your lover will have more energy for the bedroom. says a former sales clerk and lingerie consultant "is to have fun with it. Damiana. to make your satisfying but predictable sex life. Many women really like a spandex-based material because it gently cinches you in and holds you up. How to Dress for Great Sex Buying items that turn our husbands on without making us feel silly takes some effort. You don't want him to be stuffed. inexpensive." one operator explained. 2. sexy talk requires a gentle. fun. I love it when you kiss me. well. 3. But how? Where do you turn for advice? Who really knows how to make love interesting. the ambiguous combination of vampiness and elegance is a real turn-on for men. You also want to sound approachable as well as receptive to his desires. or the kids are at grandma's. try garments on and experiment with styles and fabrics. That means you should skip meats and heavy sauces. leave a Victoria's Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood catalog around and see which items hold your husband's gaze longest. available in health food stores. who know what really gets a guy going. and honey. and catches the light. and load up instead on leafy vegetables. lingerie. stripping technical pros all. Arouse your husband's interest with a seductive call to his office in late afternoon. It highlights curves. flows beautifully. could you pick up some cat food on the way home?" but do keep talking. Or choose what most men choose when shopping alone: a garter belt-lace bra combination in bright red or black. massage. less predictable and more satisfying. Try questions : "Do you want to make love tonight? Wouldn't you love to do it in the shower?" anything you believe your mate will find titillating." "yes. 7 ." Obviously you don't want to let the mundane into your conversation "Oh. You want it (that "it") to be really hot. How to light his fire If you're too embarrassed to be explicit. the better. Or maybe there's no special occasion. go easy on cheese and dessert. is rumored to be one of the most arousing of herbs. Salespeople also say you can never go wrong with a satin gown. According to experienced 900-number workers. and spices." To find out what your lover might like. and herbs all contain essential oils and vitamins that. 1. fruits. You're just looking to crank things up a few notches. spices. I was thinking about you all day. But it shouldn't be an afternoon of torture (like swimsuit shopping). you can get information from sex therapists and their manuals.

for variety. Penile blood flow increased when his subjects sniffed cinnamon buns. A study conducted revealed that one of the things that put men into an immediate mating stance wasn't pheromones but buns the kind with cinnamon on top. so you avoid the unflattering ghoul-like look. When you reach his waist. a unisex fragrance. champagne studies suggest they raise testosterone (and libido) levels. If. How to Get a Romantic Glow First. from Nicole Miller or Natori. Have your husband take a hot shower beforehand. your palms positioned on the shoulders and fingers pointing toward the the spine. turn down the lights. How to Smooth the Way While massage possesses healing and therapeutic qualities. If you must use white bulbs. turn your fingers in and repeat the stroke. there's no denying its natural eroticism. Feeling vampy? Pick Obsession or another scent with a little spice. Start the massage just below his head. trace his spine with your thumbs. winces. Realm. 60-watt amber bulbs in your bedside lamps give you that radiance. let your mate take a sample whiff before you squirt it on for your anniversary. Or. 8 . It's a love or hate thing. curving around each vertebra as you progress. What you want is an amber tint. 5. but not so much that he's dripping). like the girl-next-door with a run in her stocking? Look for creamy notes. for example. If you must. go slowly. Want something in between. try a clean fragrance like Navy or the Body Shop's White Musk. drag your hands across his body until they hit the bed. ask.But if a few nibbles of cabbage and a cup of chamomile tea will only make your husband cranky (and isn't your idea of a turn-on either). At his underarms. Feeling really adventuresome? Pheromones mammalian chemical triggers rumored (but never proved) to make men hot are coming back. moans to know what feels good. As for musk. unplug the phone. only then will you know if you should use less or more pressure. contains androgistone. The rose coloring actually makes you look pink. And they feel so sexy and taste so inviting that nibbling on a few and sipping a bit just seem to set the mood. Once you've set the scene. Dip your strawberries in chocolate. A woman lying on white linens and lit overhead by a soft light looks great because the fabric reflects and fills in any harsh shadows. Create a soothing mood: Play unobtrusive music. Have a glass of wine. a pheromone secreted by men and women that has been shown to put pigs into an immediate mating stance. start baking. or crank up the heat in the bedroom (shivering kills the romance) and warm your oils in the microwave. Or if your overhead fixture is hooked to a dimmer. don't buy pink bulbs. As for those foods traditionally thought to be aphrodisiacs oysters. like you get at sunset. put amber bulbs in it. Dimmed light diffuses. or bake a light filet of salmon with vanilla sauce. 6. 4. Have your husband lie on his stomach. Seducing Him With Scent Pick a perfume that reflects the image you want to project that night. Slide your hands down his back (you should have just enough oil to move smoothly over his skin. add a little indulgence to your meal. leaning forward to add pressure. Most masseurs recommend looking for clues smiles. you want to play the earthy girl-next-door. then trail them up along his sides. Or for a really novel twist. and either kneel beside him or straddle him across his lower back. Massage oils can be purchased at specialty cosmetic shops (like H2O or the Body Shop). make them low-wattage (no more than 30 watts) and let the light reflect off your bed by using white sheets or tossing a white throw over it.

linger over his body and maintain contact with his skin. Our picks for your personal slow-jam collection: any Best of Barry White (there are several). A little powder on the shoulders or blush between the breasts is fine. Or try Rhino Records Smooth Grooves. and Luther Vandross are all close seconds. 9 . Marvin Gaye. You want to be clean and touchable. Keeping a flirtatious distance. Slowly lift your shirt or dress. Teddy Pendergrass's A Little More Magic. Best of all. we become the smooth soul-daddy lover. our suggestion is about putting on music something that sets the scene for intimacy. Undo a button. Feel daring? You can fling the dress and keep dancing in your bra and panties. though Teddy Pendergrass. then let it drop. Makeup should be minimal and soft. If you're going to be in a hurry pick another time 7. it includes extended-play versions of the songs. thrust your pelvis) as you play peekaboo with your clothes. you want to dance (shake your hips. but this is not the time for foundation on the neck. A DJ says that people are always calling in for Marvin Gaye's 'Sexual Healing' or Luther Vandross's 'A House Is Not a Home. to keep you inspired much longer than 15 minutes. The slower the better. or your husband's shirt something you can flip up and flirt with that will come off easily. And another. and Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On. nothing is more persuasive than the molasses-sweet smoothness of soul's greatest love doctor. But don't let him touch at least at first. When we listen to Marvin Gaye. a baby doll dress is good. As for clothes. Choosing male vocalists also lets your husband project himself on to the loverman persona. For the timid who would rather not shimmy. even if in real life we're a geeky software salesman.Above all. They can do the seducing for you. 8. To help put you in the mood.'" Why do these men stir the hearts and loins of listeners? They sound like they're in love when they're singing about it. Really look at your husband. If you want to get into the groove. Your face will draw him in more than any other part of your body. a sensual four-disk selection that includes obscure cult favorites along with big hits. How to Ignite Passion with Music Two words: Barry White. How to Take It Off The idea is to look like you're making love. all you really need to worry about is an easy sway and eye contact.

Your picture could be here. but with smaller strokes. such as amount of stimulation received prior to ejaculating or time since the last ejaculation. have her roll over on her stomach. This is very important. bitter. but very rapidly. The taste varies. she may find that clitoral stimulation alone is sufficient. A third method involved sliding the two finders out a fraction of an inch. Alternate with clitoral stimulation either with the thumb. or mouth/tongue. or milky and as thin as water. If she isn’t ejaculating… If she does not succeed after a short time. Clitoral stimulation can often assist in helping her reach an ejaculation. similar to walking. You will find stimulating the G spot much easier in this position. and possibly other factors. It is absolutely impossible to pee during a orgasm unless there is a weak pubococcygeus muscle.FEMALE EJACULATION TECHNIQUES The ejaculate is very much like prostrate fluid. other hand. You should encounter an area about 2 inches in. continue clitoral stimulation until she is lubricated. At this point slide two fingers into her vagina. smell or taste of urine. depending on the time of the month and diet. With the two fingers turned down. and is the muscle which contracts during orgasm. or they can take opposite strides. and pump the G spot gently. Simulation Stimulate the clitoris with a moist finger. and also can make it more intense. Also try simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and G spot. This is the G spot. When she starts bearing down. Performing cunnilingus while rubbing her breasts with your hands can be quite stimulating for her. and pushing them back in. stimulate the clitoris at the same time. It is usually clear. which should be somewhat enlarged. Stroking Stroking can be done a number of ways. and you feel the vagina contract. At any rate. You may use the other hand to 10 . Allow them to move along the front wall of the vagina. But stimulating the G spot is usually necessary at least initially. It does not have the look. It can vary from an almost honey sweet. Even though it is ejaculated from the urethra. Find the G spot and continue stimulating the G spot. and get up on her knees. similar to the in. 3. slide your two fingers back into her vagina. and is located almost directly behind the clitoris. and she will most likely respond much better. It is almost odorless. Simultaneous may be too intense for some but necessary for ejaculation for others. Initially pace the stimulation somewhat slow. It lies directly along the urethra. This contraction helps prevent retrograde ejaculation (ejaculation back into the bladder). begin pumping rapidly. sour. and of course prevents the bladder from draining during orgasm.out motion of intercourse. it is most definitely not urine. Ejaculation is almost always triggered by stimulating the G spot. Once she starts ejaculating easily. or a combination of these tastes. and it is important for the female and her partner to both understand this. The pubococcygeus muscle contracts when terminating a stream of urine. 1. or with your tongue. The two fingers can rub the area as a unit. 2. When she is in the middle of an orgasm.

Allow the entire curve between the thumb and forefinger to lie along her from the vagina to her clitoris. and often additional ejaculations will occur during intercourse. you can continue with intercourse. Take the two fingers and lay them down on the clit. while stimulating the clitoris and G spot. When she starts an orgasm. putting the thumb into the vagina. This will help to override the feeling she is about to pee. and very sensitive. Entering from behind will stimulate the G-spot more easily than missionary style. it should come up to meet the thumb during orgasm. 11 . she still has not ejaculated.stimulate the clitoris. Even if they don't. using rapid pumping on the G spot during orgasm. she will be highly excited. and begin pumping with the thumb. The final result will most likely be the most intense and pleasurable sex she has ever had. but don't worry. and rubbing the clit at the same time. start pumping the entire hand rapidly. Be aware that the female is not only capable of multiple orgasms. At this point she will most likely ejaculate. The thumb will likely not reach the G spot. Once she has ejaculated one or more times. The trick is to massage the area where the urethra comes out. then turn the hand around. If after a couple of orgasms. It is not unusual for her to have from 3 to 5 ejaculations before depleting her supply of cum. and allow her to let it pass. but also multiple ejaculations.

foundation-shaking male orgasms. they're equally powered by mood. makes for the most bonerattling. that tonight he should do whatever makes him feel good. The fun «for him. for all the attention it receives. My guess is that the most reliable gauge of orgasmic intensity a lot of women have is the Groan-o-Meter: A big "ugh" from the big lug seems to indicate that. on this particular evening. and timing. exactly. What's weird is that. for you » is in mixing up the following strategies to see what will work tonight. finally." Sex therapists will tell you that although this approach is admirable better that men be too concerned with their partners' orgasms than not at all concerned it can nonetheless constitute a form of voluntary sensory deprivation. many men deprive themselves of the sexual abandon that produces the strongest orgasms. 1. The point is that a lot of men won't allow themselves to savor their own orgasm until they've accomplished that goal. because it enables him to concentrate completely on what he's feeling. and lots of men and. that you want this one to be all for him. A major part of the satisfaction men get from sex is the ego boost that results from making our partners go bonkers in bed. The same should go for you when he returns the favor another night: Ideally. both of you will regularly take turns teaching the other delightful lessons in the art of orgasmic appreciation. So here. his climax was a mindblower. and what women can do to encourage their arrival. It turns out that male orgasms are both as single-minded as they sometimes seem and at the same time a lot more complicated. I set out to discover what. One warning before we begin: Be prepared for surprises. The job in this case is pleasing you. There are two basic ways to go about this.HIS ORGASM: 10 THINGS HE IS DYING TO TELL YOU Is there anything that remotely equals the thrill of the male orgasm? Speaking as a male. By reining in their passion. rather than a mutual sharing of enjoyment. Sex becomes a battle to make sure she has an orgasm. The solution? Give your man the night off. Encourage him to focus on enjoying himself without worrying about taking care of you. The other is to encourage him to lie back passively and let himself be pleasured by you. Sex therapists say this is a better method. With this information gap in mind. I went straight to the experts a few sex therapists. One is to tell him." says Bob. So have at it. Tell Him He's Got the Night Off A good orgasm for a man is the sexual equivalent of a cold beer at the end of the workday: a satisfying reward for a job well done. 12 . As sensitive as men are to skill and technique. a bank administrator. "Performing comes first. 30. my orgasm comes second. longer orgasms. setting. I can't think of anything. is everything you need to know about helping your guy have stronger. rather than on what he's doing. believe me. the male orgasm doesn't get talked about in much detail despite the fact that there can be a huge difference in intensity from one to the next. and for seeming contradictions. as your lovemaking heats up. it was as if they (the guys at least) were just waiting for someone to ask. "There are times when I just want to come. but basically my goal is for my wife to find every sexual encounter totally fulfilling.

One caution: Many men find it difficult to let go of control during sex. muscle tension builds and the genital area becomes engorged with blood. but takes discipline. come. The trick for you is to help your husband set aside this evolutionary imperative so that sex lasts long enough for a truly eventful climax to build. He'll learn to love it. dying-to-make-love state of mind by deploying some sexual teasing tactics during the day. The more pressure. Other delaying tactics can be brought into play as the festivities progress. because the contractions tend either to be stronger or last longer. I personally had one of my strongest orgasms when my wife overpowered me as I innocently came home from work one night ? pieces of clothing were scattered between the front door and the bedroom. 13 . sensual back rub. Don't be surprised. The woman-on-top position is useful because it helps the man restrain his urge to start thrusting. Be patient. 5. put your thumb on one side of the base of the penis and the tips of your index and middle fingers on the other side." 3. come! We can't help it: It's been hardwired into our sexual circuitry over thousands of years. But at the same time. Intercept His Drive to the Finish Line In our heart of hearts. A therapist suggests setting the tone for longer. The added beauty of that physical buildup is that it works hand-in-hand with what's happening to him mentally: The tension in his testicles only heightens the passion in his mind. A sex therapist in Columbus. you can contribute to that pent-up. the more pleasure in the release. Ohio." Just before his orgasm appears imminent. 2. and sometimes the frenzied abandon of a quick and lustful coupling can produce a climax that's every bit as explosive as a marathon session in the sack. suggests "accidentally" flashing a little breast at him in the morning. Stopping for an occasional cooling-off period works beautifully. Hold Back the Goods ! Tonight and Tomorrow Ask any man after a week on the road abstinence is the world's most powerful aphrodisiac. then squeeze. we men know that the longer the foreplay. if it takes a while before your husband is comfortable turning the reins completely over to you. Slam-Dunk Him With a Quickie Arousal is a mysterious and powerful thing. Even when he's not out of town. then. As foreplay continues. A prolonging method that may take practice is called the "squeeze technique. "Women can plant a sexual seed. This mind-body multiplier effect unquestionably produces the most spectacular crescendos. "that will flower that night into a stronger orgasm. or giving him a lascivious phone call at the office. Extend Your Love Strokes as Long as He Can Stand It ! and Then Some The same drive that makes a man an animal when he gets home from a road trip is at work within each individual bout of lovemaking. I suspect this has something to do with that centuries-old sexual circuitry we mentioned: Sex without ceremony can tap into deep reservoirs of animal instinct. resulting in a steadily growing pressure for release. and vice versa. You can then start your mutual ascent to the mountaintop again. we have this incredibly powerful drive to simply come. for ourselves as well as for our partners. I'm sure the fact that she was the instigator added fuel to the fire. more languorous sex by starting things off with a slow. the stronger the orgasm." he says. 4. but be firm.

and you know where it is. you can start and end with the penis. Catch Him With His Defenses Down A corollary of the quickie concept is the sneak attack: An element of sexual surprise can produce a powerful climax.I also love it when my wife is on top.. A good time to try this is on a weekend morning. Simply stand back.) "All of a sudden it feels like a hand gripping you. especially when she does that backward. more depth. an insurance rep. 31. "It's only when you bang into the testicles that it hurts. Moving a lot falls into that category. his priest. rear entry is the way to go. and let his orgasm happen. dramatic maneuvers at the point of orgasm are more likely to distract than accentuate. Nick recalls a girlfriend who greedily sucked his fingers. Respect the Sacred Moment The male orgasm consists of two stages. holding herself up.6. there's only one male erogenous zone. an environmental planner. That's usually when men are most relaxed and their testosterone levels are at their peak. when stimulated. and the best opportunities for penile thrust. can send us careening over the edge." meaning that the man's mother. 32. is ejaculation. Spontaneity can help bring him to his senses. Explore the Forbidden Zones As concentrated as we men are on our penises. the sperm is drawn up from the testicles and pooled with ejaculatory fluids in a sort of staging area just below the prostate gland. "Women are more worried about touching the testicles than they should be. and his former girlfriend could walk in the room. therefore." Nick also mentions another favorite form of penile stimulation: the vaginal squeeze of a woman who's been doing her Kegel excercises. 14 . Henry. (Kegels strengthen the PC muscle." says Nickl. their positions of choice tend to be those that provide the most direct penile stimulation.. Stage two." says Nick. In stage one." 8. "It's not the time to get fancy or creative. Anything from job pressure to money woes to kid problems to bedroom boredom can come between you and your man's deepest passions. and his orgasm would continue as if nothing had happened. there are other strategic spots that. Some men say that having their testicles stroked as they come heightens the sensation. Using techniques that both of you know and like is fine." says Daniel. loves it when his wife rubs his nipples. but when it comes to orgasm. which kicks in seconds later. Having the scrotum rubbed feels great. Go Straight for His Most-Prized Possession It's not really politically correct to admit this." Other sensitive spots seem to depend more on personal taste. If possible. the one you clench when you want to shut off your flow of urine. 49. Masters and Johnson called this the point of "ejaculatory inevitability. avoid interrupting your man's concentration as the stages unfold. Sometimes you need to cut through all the chaos and clutter of modern life. That doesn't mean men don't like to be kissed or caressed. "That's amazing. a writer and editor. as it were. 9. "There's more friction. and sex therapists often recommend massaging the point between the testicles and anus called the perineum at the point of orgasm. but unexpected. It makes sense." he says. that when men are out for the most lustful orgasms. but the truth is that when orgasm is imminent. 7. "For pure physicality.

and men even married men can get nervous being emotionally naked. talked about how his wife sometimes lovingly strokes his face as he comes. a 35-year-old executive. Jim. What's at the bottom of all this. a dilemma: How do you find new ways to push your man over the top without interrupting his orgasmic concentration? Realize that you have to choose some nights to experiment and others to go for the peak experience. That's an avenue I expected would be number one on most men's hit parade. and intimacy. Therapists can talk for hours about how to achieve true intimacy. for instance. as if they wanted nothing so much as to completely absorb him. slight changes in the wind can turn a 10-gun salute into a popgun. Then hold on for dear life. 15 . Robert. is that we men are really looking for the same things from sex that women are: love. "It's about her showing that she really wants me. acceptance. I think.Again. The surprise for me in interviewing men for this story was that only one of them said he enjoyed being brought to orgasm through oral sex. The moment of orgasm is when those needs are most exposed. When asked what techniques produced his most intense orgasms. Henry fondly recalled lovers who grabbed him by his butt and pulled him tighter toward them. 10. That's why they're so sensitive to the environment. says he sometimes finds he can't come at all if he's too worried about his job. Tell your man how much you love him. Love Him to Death The biggest secret about men's orgasms. is that they reveal how vulnerable we are. I think. but a good place to start would be in bed tonight." he says. and mean it. And it is but only as foreplay.

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