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Let’s Kick Up
Some Dust

Daniel Cabrera

Time to treat yourself to a new lifestyle,
Be Carefree...Be Cared For!

We invite you to come out and see all

It's Carnival Time
the fun we have at Francois Bend!
When: Friday, Feb. 21st from 5:30 PM - 7:30 PM
Live Music by Artemis

Tickets on sale now at Francois Bend!*

$7 Family of residents
$10 Individuals
$15 Couples
*Day of event: $12 individual and $20 couple

1st Annual Mardi Gras Padade
When: Monday, Feb. 24th
Parade starts at 1:30 PM, we will be celebrating
Lundi Gras all day!

Call today to schedule your Come out and enjoy the festivities at the
complimentary lunch tour! Francois Bend Campus!

326 East Industry St., Gonzales, LA 70737 •

Publisher / Editor
Mike Strong
Table of Contents
Associate Editor
Sales Manager SWEET EYES W/ TANYA...........12


Staff Photographer BILL DELAUNE.......................... 30

Jimmy Dunkley


Contributing Writers
SENIOR SOC HOP ................... 40
Bill Delaune

On the Cover: LSU Sports Information provided photos and article for outlook.
Linda Melancon SNO’S RECIPE........................... 45

Goosie Guice
Orhan McMillan
Kellie Seymour
Tanya Stilley
Jimmy Dunkley
Patti Mouton
Jamie Lavigne
Mariah Simoneaux

For Advertising
Information Please call:

E-Mail Comments

Note: Features in this

publication labeled
are paid for editorials.
All Rights Reserved.
Opinions expressed are not
necessarily those of the
publisher, editor or staff of
Ascension Magazine

18386 Little Prairie Rd.

Prairieville, LA 70769

Gonzales Lions Club Host Pancake Breakfast
The Gonzales Lions Club held Academy. The event included years of service to the second year. Her detailed
its annual All-You-Can-Eat all-you-can-eat pancakes, Gonzales Lions Club: Rodney event plan, once again allowed
Pancake Breakfast fundraiser sausage, juice, milk, and Lagarbo (25 years), Joe the Lions, and volunteers, to
on Sunday, January 26th @ coffee. Jambalaya lunches, Hutchinson (20 years) and effectively and efficiently
the East Ascension High prepared by former World Todd Villar (20 years). The contribute to the success of
School Cafetorium, in Champion, Wally Tallion, were Gonzales Lions Charter was this event.
Gonzales, LA. available for purchase. granted in 1943. We were also
honored to have Lion pancake Belts and canned goods were
The Gonzales Lions Club This year was special as 8N volunteer, and newly elected also collected at the door. All
experienced another success- District Governor, Lambart Speaker of the House, State ticket sales fund the Gonzales
ful year of support for a Ratard, and his wife, PCC Representative, Clay Lions Club’s charitable proj-
wonderful cause while enjoying Francoise Ratard, were on Schexnayder, available to ects. These include KidSight
great food and sensational hand to present coveted address the large crowd. Lion vision screening for preschool
entertainment provided by Monarc Chevrons to three of Chrystal Matthews presided as children, financial assistance
Center Stage Performing Arts our Gonzales Lions for their Committee Chair for the for individuals who need eye

exams/glasses, donations to
local events and organizations,
high school senior scholar-
ships, sponsoring youth with
special needs to summer
camp, and so much more.

We value our partnership

Center Stage, the performers,
their families and with our
entire community. If you are
interested in being sponsored
and joining our mission as a
Lion, or simply want more
information, please visit our
Gonzales Lions website.

We Can Help with

Your Tax Worries.
• Personal Loans • Auto Title Loans • Confidential Loans

Tessa or Lacy

For Loan Information Call 647-7422

Schedule Your
Professional Install.
Certified Installer

Enjoy the Events at Azalea Estates!

Join Us and Enjoy Our Events:

Feb 18 @ 2:00
River Rats
Feb 19 @ 2:00
Southern Cross
Feb 24 @ 9:00
Hoyt Cuti
Feb 25 @ 2:00
Mardi Gras w/Kut-n-Up
Feb 25 @ 6:00
Jason Duplessis & Kenny Fife
March 2 @ 2:00
Ron Pennington
March 6 @ 2:00
Jim Bullion
March 7 @ 1:00
March 19 @ 2:00
St. Joseph Altar

2 3 0 5 S . P u r p e r a A v e n u e , G o n z a l e s , L A 7 07 37 • 2 2 5 . 6 4 4 .10 2 8
to attend an
A Bird’s educational
program which
Eye View emphasized why Hosting the January meeting were, from left, Cathy Venable, Loretta Ramirez, Sandy Stewart, Janis

native plants matter.

D’Benedetto, Dale Bowman, and Gwen Heck.

In the chapel of the First and

The Gonzales Garden Club Baptist Church, President of
gathered at the First Baptist the Baton Rouge Chapter of For lunch, hostesses
Church of Gonzales on S. the Audubon Society Jane Loretta Ramirez, Dale
Burnside Avenue on January 8 Patterson instructed 30 club Bowman, Janis D’Benedetto,
for a business meeting, an members and guests on Gwen Heck, Sandy Stewart
education program and a “Plants for Birds”. She and Cathy Venable provided
luncheon. encouraged the
During the meeting, roll call conservation and
respondents posed questions preservation of natural
about native plants. A brand habitats because
new member, Elizabeth Saffell, native plants provide
was welcomed into the club, food opportunities for
and a floral line-mass insects and birds.
arrangement by Mary Jo Patterson shared
Pohlig was critiqued. The informational New GGC Members Brenda Bertrand and
Elizabeth Saffell donned their personalized
horticultural hint was to fertilize resources about garden club tote bags.
trees in late January by using bird-friendly plants,
one pound of general purpose such as Native three choices of chili with all
fertilizer for each inch of Gardening in the the fixings along with desserts.
South by William A local Baton Rouge restaurant
Fontenot. For more will accommodate the club in
information and tips February after a camellia stroll.
on creating an
friendly space that
helps protect birds,
see Audubon’s native
plants database at The Gonzales Garden Club is
federated by National Garden Clubs, Inc.

Jane Patterson, President of the Baton Rouge Audubon Society, delivered an

interesting presentation on “Plants for Birds” as the highlight of the club’s
gathering on January 8 at the First Baptist Church of Gonzales.

This highly recommended book can be

ordered from its author at for $25.

diameter of the trunk. Plans

were made for Arbor Day and
next month’s meeting about
Horticulture Chairman
Conchita Richey had invited
Master Gardeners and
members of other garden clubs

The sidewalk along Gonzales Primary and LeBlanc Special Services Center are lined with
shrubs as part of the 2015 Gonzales Comprehensive Plan.

texture and height.

The LeBlanc Special Services
Center plantings spotlight
Landscapes of young sweetbay magnolias as
signature plants flanking the
the Month main stairway entrance. The
surrounding beds are layered
with liriope, blue flax, brick beds. Over the beautifully. Thank you so
This February, the Gonzales
agapanthus and camellias. seasons, the school will enjoy much for this recognition.”
Garden Club is featuring two
Director of Special Education repeat-blooming drift roses,
school board properties as
Lynn Hathaway expressed her aromatic juniper borders and This school board project
Commercial Landscapes of the
gratitude by saying “Our perennial iris flowers along the complements the city’s
Month. This dual recognition
beautiful new landscaping has accessible entrance ramps. installment of the shrubbery
comes with acknowledgement
been a wonderful renovation Cone-shaped hollies call and sidewalks along the
of the renovation of the shared
for our building. Our LeBlanc attention to the variations in Burnside Avenue Corridor. The
parking lot and flower beds at
Staff is enjoying our parking lot height and texture. Principal garden club welcomes these
LeBlanc Special Services
makeover. Thank you so much Dr. Roddy Melancon noted his worthy developments
Center at 611 N. Burnside
for recognizing LeBlanc and appreciation for the school spawned by the Gonzales
Avenue and Gonzales Primary
Gonzales Primary!"” board’s efforts with “The Comprehensive Plan to
School at 521 N. Burnside
results are fabulous! We are beautify the main street.
Avenue. The new parking lot
Gonzales Primary's entryway very proud of the outcome of
spans the frontage of the two
plantings are attractively our new entrance. The
buildings. The selected
structured in tiers of raised renovation is working out The Gonzales Garden Club is
plantings vary in color, federated by National Garden Clubs, Inc.

President Cointment joins Gonzales Garden Club in Tree Planting Ceremony

An old Chinese proverb says that in mind, President Clint ceremony in front of the the years to Keep Ascension
that the best time to plant a Cointment joined Gonzales city Ascension Parish Health Unit. Beautiful. He noted that by
tree is twenty years ago; the officials and the Gonzales As it has in the past, working together, great things
second best time is now. With Garden Club at a tree planting Gonzales Garden Club can be accomplished.
donated and planted the tree, Health Unit Director Christy
this time a crape myrtle, for its Burnett accepted the tree on
53rd annual Arbor Day behalf of the parish, and
program. The tree was looked forward to the day it
presented by member Janis would provide a nice shaded
Poche and her husband Harlan outdoor sitting area for clients.
Poche, who planted it. To close the program, garden
Garden Club President club member Patti Mouton
Jamie Trisler began the read a poem that was written
program by recognizing by one of their members.
everyone present, and “An Old Oak Tree Reminisces”
commending President by Willie Mae Montgomery
Cointment on his efforts to is read each Arbor Day.
clean the parish by mobilizing
litter clean-up crews.
Cointment, in turn, praised the
Garden Club for its efforts over
Cressleaf groundsel goes by
many names, including

butterweed, ragwort and
squawweed. Scientifically it is
known as Packera glabella. It
is a member of the same
family of plants as sunflowers.

In South Louisiana it is often
called, “pissenlit”, the French
word for dandelion.

that Weed?
Cressleaf groundsel is a winter
annual. This means that
seeds germinate in the fall and
Mariah Simoneaux
the plant grows throughout the
You have seen them growing along
groundsel grows throughout the winter months. Flowering
roadsides and ditches, in open
Southeast United States. It can usually occurs in January and
fields and on the edge of wooded
grow and full sun or partial shade. February. The plants will
areas. The bright yellow blooms of Butterweed flower – Two mosquitoes rest on a
It prefers moist, low-lying areas, so eventually produce many cressleaf groundsel flower. Photo by Mariah
cressleaf groundsel can be spotted
it’s no surprise it thrives in our dandelion like seed heads, Simoneaux.
all over this time of year. Cressleaf
swampy conditions. which resemble puffballs.
groundsel make a beautiful
Cressleaf groundsel plants can
golden display.
grow fairly tall, sometimes reaching
a height of two to three feet.
Mariah Simoneaux is the Horticul-
The stem, which is hollow, is thick
ture Agent serving Ascension and
and succulent.
Assumption Parishes. For more
information visit
Most people refer to cressleaf, or
groundsel as a weed, cattlemen
contact Mariah at
especially consider it a nuisance.
It is poisonous to grazing animals
and should be controlled in a
pasture setting. However,
homeowners need not worry.
Cressleaf groundsel is also
considered a wildflower. It is a
nectar source for bees, butterflies,
and other important pollinators.
Butterweed group – This grouping of cressleaf groundsel brightens up a ditch bank along Large groupings of cressleaf
Edenborne Parkway in Gonzales. Photo by Mariah Simoneaux.
For All Our Information & Services:
and absorb quickly into my
skin. Caudalie Vinosource
Moisturizing Sorbet does just
that. It’s known as the “sensitive
skin savior” because it replenishes
skin water reserves reduces skin
redness and sensitivity.

Step 6 – SPF
Recommended by dermatolo-
gists, EltaMD UV Daily Broad
Spectrum 40 is made of
lightweight minerals and
hyaluronic acid and offers
complete UVA and UVB
spectrum coverage. This SPF will
not weigh down your morning
skin prep routine.
This step should be like
the others

I use two different primers at this

point to accomplish different
soy-based gel that always leaves 62 times more radiance boosting purposes. In my T zone, I tend

It’s in my face soft and sooth. This

gentle every day cleaner is
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say more?
to be oiler, so I use
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Primer in this area. It reduces

the Skin and available at any drug store. Step 4 - Eye Cream/Gel oil and keeps my T zone nice
and matte.
Step 2 – Tone Laneige Water Bank Eye Gel is a
fresh, lightweight gel that For the rest of my face, I like a
Writing about beauty products little glow, so I like Becca’s First
certainly has its perks. I get to try Loreal’s Hydrafresh Toner is a completely smooths out any
refreshing toner that uses beta opportunity for fine lines or Light Filter Face Primer. This
lots of new products…yay! But ginger based energizing primer
more products mean more hydroxy acid and pro-vitamin B5. wrinkles. It never burns my
This toner helps gently removes sensitive under eye skin and looks offers color-neutralizing
options. Which comes first, technology while giving a
primer or sunscreen? Wait…do I any residue, while maintaining ah-mazing under any makeup or
moisture level and balanced concealer. This undereye gel is brighter, smoother complexion.
apply serum or moisturizer next?
With so many options I had to PH level. made from six moisture-
maximizing minerals that are That’s my AM skin care routine.
refresh my memory on the order Lots of steps yes, but these steps
of application. Hopefully this will Step 3 – Serum ionized and stabilized in water
to penetrate quicker into skin. will bring a great reward. Skin
be a reminder for you as well! loves consistency and care, and
Here’s my AM Prep Breakdown: While traveling in Paris last year,
I tried Claudalie skin care line and Step 5 – Moisturizer with a daily routine, you will see
fell in love with the Vinoperfect great results.
Step 1 – Cleanse Radiance Serum. This day or Since my skin tends to be more
For many years, I’ve used night patented serum is made on the oily side, I have to make
from olives, grapes, and viniferine sure all the products I use in my XOXO,
Aveeno’s Positively Radiant Sweet Eyes
Brightening Facial cleanser. It’s a (aka grapevine sap!) and provides am skin routine are lightweight

We’re Listening to you Ascension!
We work hard to maintain our standards of quality.
At the same time able to lower our price.
So what are you waiting for. Join Us!

Ichiban Caters
We have a variety of menus to
cater your special needs!
We have 8 Hibachi Grills
for Every Occasion!
Delicious Lenten Dishes Everyday!
Ichiban in Gonzales has a lenten menu all year round.
We have delicious scallop and shrimp dishes. Lobster and
fish dishes that please your taste buds.
No, it’s not raw. It’s prepared as you like.
Give us a try. I’m sure you will return.

15% OFF
Not Valid

with any
other offer.
Expires 3/30/20

217 N. Airline Hwy. • Gonzales, La 70737 • 225-647-2266

Jordyn Blazier
When that Special Celebration Requires a Special Photograph.

Creative Photography

maternity • senior portraits • bridals • birthday sessions • family • engagements

Facebook: • Instagram: @JordynBlazierPhotography • Phone: (225) 290-9012 • Email:

Soaring Eagles Accomplishments Fly High
in State Competitions ! Congratulations!


Dutchtown Primary Beta Club
On January 28th, the Dutchtown Jr. Beta Club traveled to Lafayette, La. to participate in the
State Convention. After much effort on the part of students, parents, and sponsors, our club
participated in several events and placed high enough to travel to the National Convention in
Fort Worth, Texas this June. Our Songfest group placed first in the state, our Robotics Club
placed 3rd in the state, and our Quiz Bowl team placed fifth in the state. Dutchtown Primary
is so proud of our soaring Eagles and their accomplishments in this club. We look forward to
traveling to National Convention to compete against students from all over the country.

Dates to Remember! Dutchtown Physical Therapy

is Proud to Support Our
Mardi Gras Holidays
February 24th and 25th
Parent Teacher Conference Day Local Schools
March 23rd Quiz
State Testing Dates Bowl
LEAP 5th - 8th Grades
•April 21st - 24th and April 27th - May 1st
LEAP 3rd - 4th Grades
• April 27th - May 1

Visit our website at

“Your Community Physical Therapy Provider for Over 12 years”

(225) 744-3631 • fax (225) 744-3647


FINANCIAL FOCUS when you file affects how much

Be Aware of
your spouse would receive if

Social Security
you pass away early. In any
case, you’ll want to consult with

the Social Security Administra-
tion about how much your
spouse can receive, as his or PROFESSIONAL • RELIABLE • EXPERIENCED
her own benefits can also affect
Social Security can be one your decision-making.
source of retirement income for
you and your spouse. To • Myth 3: You can’t work during
maximize your benefits, you’ll retirement and collect Social
need to make some key Security. Yes, you can. But if

We Can Prepare Your

decisions and be aware of you start receiving Social
some common myths. Security before your full
retirement age (likely between
• Myth 1: Always take Social 66 and 67), you can only earn

Yard for the New Year.

Security early. You can file for up to $18,240 in 2020 and still
Social Security benefits as early get your full benefits. Once you
as 62, but you could get 25% to earn more than this, Social
30% more if you wait until Security deducts $1 from your
your “full” retirement age (likely benefits for every $2 you earn.
between 66 and 67). You can But during the year you reach
receive even more if you wait full retirement age, you can
until 70, at which point your earn up to $48,600 without your
benefits will “max out.” benefits being withheld. If you

Call Ryan at 225.715.4594

However, there’s no right time exceed this amount, $1 will be
to file for everyone – it depends deducted for every $3 you earn
on your situation, including fac- during the months before you
tors such as your life attain your full retirement age.
expectancy, employment, Social Security will increase
financial need and spousal your benefits when you do
considerations. reach full retirement age to
adjust for the previous work-
• Myth 2: When you claim So- related withholdings. So, if you
cial Security won’t affect your plan on working and receiving
Prairieville, La 70769

spouse’s benefits. This is not Social Security, it may not make

true. How much you receive in sense to file if most of your
Social Security can affect your benefits will be withheld. Once
spouse’s benefits while you are you reach full retirement age,
alive (spousal benefits) and you can earn any amount
after you’ve passed away without losing your monthly
(survivor’s benefits). Your benefits, although your benefits
spouse could receive up to half could still be taxed.
of your retirement benefit, offset
by his or her own benefit, so the Myth #4: Social Security will
longer you work before provide for all my needs in
collecting Social Security, the retirement. Social Security will
greater the potential spousal provide about a third of pre-
benefits. For survivor benefits, retirement income, on average,
your spouse would receive according to the Social Security
100% of your benefit or his or Administration. Consequently,
her own, whichever is larger, so you’ll probably still need other
sources of retirement income
because Social Security alone
most likely won’t be enough to
meet your needs. So, through-
out your working years,
contribute as much as you can
to your IRA and your 401(k) or
other employer-sponsored
retirement plan. Combining
these income sources with
Social Security can help
improve your chances of
enjoying the retirement lifestyle
you’ve envisioned.
We are Growing to Fulfill Your
Full Service Salon Needs

Jamie Lavigne, Financial Advisor 622.5085

7147 Jefferson Hwy • Baton Rouge, LA 70806 44253 Hwy. 42 ( 1 m i l e f r o m P o r t V i n c e n t )
(225) 928-8659 • cell 225.328.6900 •
social mediums. As an added bonus,
Instagram’s algorithms favor those
who regularly post to their story.


Six social media

Does your website have a chatbot?
It should. Bots are often smarter,

marketing trends you

quicker and more effective than
other software. 90% of businesses
report faster complaint resolution

can’t ignore
with chatbots than with other
methods. Additionally, chatbots can
save 30% on customer support
costs. If you still need convincing,
more than half of consumers would
prefer to message companies than
call customer service.

Don’t overwhelm
by Orhan Mc Millan
dezinsINTERACTIVE Despite all of the trends we have
discussed, studies show that fewer
As we’ve seen over the past decade, of customers would rather learn mainstream. Gen Z spends more people will use social media this
social media has not only endured about a new product or service than double the time shopping on year than in years previous. Many
but evolved to become one of the through video. social media than the average users are cutting back on their
most effective marketing tools. In consumer, most of which is done social media usage for a multitude
order to stand out on social media, Influencer marketing on Instagram and Snapchat, where of reasons, including; trust issues
you’ll have to step up your game. influencers are driving the market. and privacy concerns, feeling ad-
Influencers aren’t going away dicted, or that their mental health
To help keep you up to speed, we’ve anytime soon. Consumers place Additionally, 87% of online shoppers has been negatively impacted. Keep
compiled a list of six social media more trust in individual people than credit social media for helping them this in mind as you craft posts and
marketing trends you just can’t brands, even if their relationship is with purchasing decisions. To make captions; your strategies may need
ignore this year. strictly online. A recent study the most of this, give consumers the to change as to not overwhelm
conducted by Influencer option to buy products without people and drive them away.
Video MarketingHub found that businesses leaving the platform they’re using.
are making $5.20 for every $1 spent For more information on these
Cisco predicted that video will
greatly outperform all other online
on influencer marketing. You can’t
pass that up.
Instagram, Facebook & trends, or if you’d like to discuss
ways our social media team can
mediums in the coming years and Snapchat stories partner with your company, please
the data already shows it. Studies Social commerce call us at 225-615-8358 or
have found that social video This format is photo and video- shoot us an email at
generates 1200% more shares than Social media and e-commerce have heavy, and light on text. What was
photos and text combined and, on been overlapping for years, but in once thought to be a fad has
top of that, they’ve found that 72% 2020, this merge is expected to go become one of the fastest-growing

should be discussed with your
loved ones and made now, while
you are healthy and mindful.
While it is hard to think about

It’s time to prepare for this years growing season!

such situations, you can be
much more secure and
comfortable knowing your
wishes will be carried out
should something happen.

It is also a good idea to plan ahead

for your long term care. Will you
or your family be able to afford to
care for you should you have a
long term illness? It might be a
good idea to create a family trust.
By Linda Melancon You can place your assets in a trust
where they will be protected from
A Gift for Your creditors should such expenses
arise. Also, if your assets are in
trust and not owned directly by
you, you may qualify for Medicaid
and other benefits that would help
It’s that time again. February is your family support your long
not only time for Mardi Gras and term care.
Valentine’s Day, but it is also
National Heart Month. While we Do you have a child with special
all examine our own heart health needs? If that child is receiving
this month and shower our loved government benefits because they
ones with candy and flowers, what are unable to care for themselves,
else can we do for them that inheriting assets from you might
comes from the heart? Planning disrupt those benefits. You can


for your future and that of your create a special needs trust and
family is one of the most loving make sure their portion of your
gifts you can give them. Making
sure they are taken care of and are
estate is used for their care and Prairieville, La 70769 • 225.715.4594
support, without giving them
able to transition smoothly should assets directly which may disqual-
something happen to you is a ify them from receiving money
thoughtful gesture from the heart from other programs. You may
that will benefit your loved ones have a child who does not have
for years to come. Whether you special needs; however, you may
already have a plan in place or think they are not responsible or
haven’t thought about it yet, it’s need assistance with handling
important to establish goals and their money. You can create a
make arrangements for the future. trust which places their portion of
your estate in the hands of a
A good place to start is a will. trustee who can then distribute
Some people wonder if they really money periodically for their needs,
need to have a will. It is always rather than have them receive one
important to plan for what you lump sum.
want to happen to your estate
should something happen to you. Wills, living wills, powers of
If all of your children are grown attorney, and trusts are all i
and supporting themselves, you mportant tools you should discuss
may want to make sure your with an experienced estate
surviving spouse can have the planning attorney. While
freedom to live in the family home celebrating your loved ones this
and provide for their needs. A will Valentine’s Day and during
can leave all or most of your National Heart Month, consider
property to your surviving spouse making an appointment and
so that they can maintain their planning ahead for your future.
lifestyle without worry. It will certainly reduce stress and
make you feel comfortable that
Another important consideration your wishes will be carried out
is what you want should you should something happen to you.
become ill or incapacitated. You
may want to consider having a
The information provided is not intended to be legal
power of attorney to appoint an advice and does not constitute an attorney/client
agent to handle your affairs should relationship. You should consult with an attorney for
individual advice regarding your own situation.
this happen. You may also want to
sign a living will so that your loved Ms. Melancon is an attorney with Legacy
Estate & Elder Law of Louisiana, LLC, with of-
ones can carry out your wishes fices in Baton Rouge, LA and Prairieville, LA.
concerning the level of medical The primary focus of her practice is
care you wish to receive if you estate planning, probate, special needs
planning and elder law. For more
become incapable of making your information or to attend an upcoming
own decisions concerning artificial estate planning seminar, call her office at
life support. These decisions (225) 744-0027

The annual T-Bone Steak when the enthusiastic Jay St. Amant supporters and Jay the dinner the razzing and
Red Beans and Rice Patterson, an ardent East Patterson would select 25 teasing gets louder by each
Challenge Supper was held at Ascension Spartan supporter East Ascension supporters. group. The coaches from each
the KC Hall on Black Bayou made a bet with Fritz Englade, A supper would be held with team are also present. The
Rd. Spirits were high and a staunch St. Amant Gator the losing team paying for the losing coaches and captain
baggering was constant. East supporter that whoever lost the entire affair and serving serve the winning coaches and
Ascension suppoerters sit and E.A./S.A. game would treat the T-Bone steaks to the winners, captain the steaks. You can
wait to be fed steak and St winner to a steak dinner. with the losers eating red imagine a great deal of fun
Amant supporters are in the beans and rice. and teasing takes place
kitchen cooking the steaks. A discussion went back and while this is done.
forth and it was decided that This event has carried on for
It all started 29 years ago Fritz Englade would select 25 31 years and of course, during After Jay Patterson passed
away Sam Speligene was has held last week. Needless lot of fun and sharing between After all these years the series
team captain for several years. to say a lot of fun and com- the two teams – except the day is tied 20 to 20 and of course
When Sam resigned Bret radarie is held during the of the game at which time the this rivalry is getting bigger and
Hughes decided to pick up event. rivalry becomes more intense. better than ever.
the chairmanship for East
Ascension. The rivaly between these two
teams and the fans is a unique
The event is normally held a one. Almost all the families
few weeks after the game have close friends, family and
however, due to various relatives on the opposing
scheduling problems the event team; consequently, there is a

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or Email
two or at a friendship table for I am attaching a few photos
six. Door prizes, silent auction If you have any questions, that you might be able to use if
items, photo booth and please do not hesitate to call you have room to run a short
photographer available. Linda Gardner, Director at the article.
Doors open at 6:15 p.m. with museum at 318 757 4297
dinner served shortly after. (W-F, 9 to 4) or on my cell Come and
at 225 933 2300. Have a
Feb. 22 - Avery Michaels & Good Time
Exit 209 Country Show -
$15 per person or $25 per
married couple. Show at 7,
doors open at 6 p.m.

March 14 - Debby Campbell,

Hopefully, you will be able to
Tribute to Glen Campbell -
put a short article about our
Show at 6:30 p.m. Pre-selling
wonderful museum that is only
tickets by calling 318 757 4297
a short drive from Ascension
at $20 for general admission,
parish. We have lots of great
$25 for reserved seats, or $30
live music events coming to
for reserved seats with a "meet
our Arcade Theatre. The Delta
and greet" immediatley after
Music Museum is open
Wednesday through Friday
from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. for
March 28 - Avery Michaels &
folks to learn about the famous
Exit 209 Country Show -
cousins from Ferriday and
Same prices as listed
other artists with ties to Baton
for Feb. 22.
Rouge, New Orleans and
more. The famous cousins
April 4 - Marty Haggard, Trib-
include Jerry Lee Lewis,
ute to Merle Haggard -
Mickey Gilley and Jimmy
Ticket info found online at
Swaggart. Other inductees
include Aaron Neville, Fats
Domino, Pete Fountain, Irma
Thomas and more. The
April 11 - Jesse Dale Middle-
museum is free to tour but we
ton Country Show - $15 per
greatly appreciate donations.
person or $25 per married
couple. Show at 7, doors open
Our calendar of events through
at 6 p.m.
mid April include the following:
April 24 - Andy Meadows
Feb. 14 - Serenades at the
sponsored by Concordia
Arcade - Butch King will
Parish Library - Free show.
provide songs from the 60's,
70's and more with a catered
April 25 - Avery Michaels &
dinner, long stem red rose for
Exit 209 Country Show -
the spouse, sit at a table for
Same as listed above.
It’s Time to get your Pots, Paddles and Seasoning Ready!
By Bill Franques, LSU Sports Information ... Photos provided by LSU Athletics

The LSU baseball team held LSU, ranked No. 11 in will present. Mainieri has
its annual Media Day activities preseason polls, opens the LSU coach Paul Mainieri, who directed LSU to five CWS
and opened preseason season at 7 p.m. CT on Friday, led the Tigers to the 2009 appearances and nine NCAA
practice on a sunny Friday February 14, when the Tigers College World Series title, Tournament National Seeds
afternoon in Alex Box Stadium, play host to Indiana in Alex enters his 14th season in over the past 13 seasons, and
Skip Bertman Field. Box Stadium, Skip Bertman Baton Rouge eager for the the Tigers have won four SEC
Field. challenges the 2020 season regular-season championships

2020 LSU Baseball Schedule (All times are central and subject to change)
14 (Fri.) INDIANA 7 p.m. SEC Network + 1 (Sun.) Oklahoma # 11 a.m. AT&T SportsNet 22 (Sun.) MISSISSIPPI STATE 2 p.m. SEC Network
15 (Sat.) INDIANA 3 p.m. SEC Network + 3 (Tue.) SOUTHEASTERN LOUISIANA 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + 24 (Tue.) TULANE * 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
16 (Sun.) INDIANA 12 p.m. SEC Network + 4 (Wed.) GRAMBLING 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + 26 (Thu.) at Tennessee 6:30 p.m. ESPNU
18 (Tue.) SOUTHERN 5 p.m. SEC Network + 6 (Fri.) UMASS LOWELL 7 p.m. SEC Network + 27 (Fri.) at Tennessee 5:30 p.m. SEC Network +
19 (Wed.) at Nicholls 6 p.m. Cox Sports Television 7 (Sat.) UMASS LOWELL 4 p.m. SEC Network + 28 (Sat.) at Tennessee 1 p.m. SEC Network +
21 (Fri.) EASTERN KENTUCKY 7 p.m. SEC Network + 8 (Sun.) UMASS LOWELL 2 p.m. SEC Network + 31 (Tue.) UL-MONROE 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
22 (Sat.) EASTERN KENTUCKY 3 p.m. SEC Network + 11 (Wed.) SOUTH ALABAMA 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
23 (Sun.) EASTERN KENTUCKY 11 a.m. SEC Network + 13 (Fri.) at Ole Miss 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + APRIL
26 (Wed.) LOUISIANA TECH 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + 14 (Sat.) at Ole Miss 1:30 p.m. SEC Network + 2 (Thu.) VANDERBILT 6 p.m. SEC Network
28 (Fri.) Texas # 7 p.m. AT&T SportsNet 15 (Sun.) at Ole Miss 1:30 p.m. SEC Network + 3 (Fri.) VANDERBILT 7:30 p.m. SEC Network
29 (Sat.) Baylor # 3 p.m. AT&T SportsNet 18 (Wed.) ST. THOMAS (FLA.) 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + 4 (Sat.) VANDERBILT 3 p.m. ESPNU
20 (Fri.) MISSISSIPPI STATE 7 p.m. SEC Network
and six conference tournament team, and we only have three are back to lead the LSU the staff.
titles in that span. new pitchers, so 13 guys are bullpen.
veterans." "While we are trying to figure
"I'm excited about our team Right-hander Jaden Hill, who out the right combination and
this year," Mainieri said, "we The pitching staff features 11 began 2019 as a weekend put the pieces of the puzzle
have a lot of great kids and a Tigers who recorded innings starter but suffered an early together in our batting order,"
lot of young kids and a veteran last season, including three season-ending injury, will said Mainieri, who is in his 38th
pitching staff. It hasn't been weekend starters – right- return to the mound this season as a collegiate head
often in the 14 years I have handers Cole Henry, Landon season, along with coach and ranks No. 2 on the
been here where there are so Marceaux and Eric Walker. experienced right-handers NCAA Division I wins list for
many unknowns about a team Right-hander Devin Fontenot, AJ Labas, Ma'Khail Hilliard and active coaches with 1,455
as we have this year with our who posted seven saves in Trent Vietmeier. Left-handed victories. "I think our pitching
position players. However, our 2019, and right-hander pitchers Jacob Hasty and staff is going to be at a level
pitching staff is a veteran staff; Matthew Beck, who was 3-0 Brandon Kaminer are that allows us to win games
we have 16 pitchers on the with a 2.05 ERA last season, newcomers that will bolster even while we are learning

7 (Tue.) UL-LAFAYETTE 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + 28 (Tue.) NORTHWESTERN STATE 14 (Thu.) at Auburn 6 p.m. SEC Network +
9 (Thu.) at Kentucky 5:30 p.m. SEC Network + 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + 15 (Fri.) at Auburn 6 p.m. SEC Network +
10 (Fri.) at Kentucky 5:30 p.m. SEC Network + 16 (Sat.) at Auburn 3:30 p.m. ESPNU
11 (Sat.) at Kentucky 1 p.m. SEC Network + MAY 19-24 (Tue.-Sun.) SEC Tournament Hoover, Ala. SEC Network/ESPN 2
14 (Tue.) McNEESE STATE 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + 1 (Fri.) at Texas A&M 7:30 p.m. SEC Network May 29-31/June 1 NCAA Regional Sites TBA TBA – ESPN Networks
17 (Fri.) ARKANSAS 7 p.m. SEC Network + 2 (Sat.) at Texas A&M 6 p.m. SEC Network June 5-7/6-8 NCAA Super Regional Sites TBA TBA – ESPN Networks
18 (Sat.) ARKANSAS 8 p.m. ESPNU 3 (Sun.) at Texas A&M 4 p.m. ESPNU June 13-23/24 College World Series Omaha, Neb. TBA – ESPN Networks
19 (Sun.) ARKANSAS 2 p.m. SEC Network + 8 (Fri.) ALABAMA 7 p.m. SEC Network +
21 (Tue.) LAMAR 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + 9 (Sat.) ALABAMA 6:30 p.m. SEC Network + * – Wally Pontiff Jr. Foundation Classic (Alex Box Stadium,
24 (Fri.) SOUTH CAROLINA 7 p.m. SEC Network + 10 (Sun.) ALABAMA 2 p.m. SEC Network + Skip Bertman Field – Baton Rouge, La.)
25 (Sat.) SOUTH CAROLINA 5 p.m. ESPNU 12 (Tue.) NEW ORLEANS 6:30 p.m. SEC Network # – Shriners Hospitals for Children College Classic
26 (Sun.) SOUTH CAROLINA 2 p.m. SEC Network + + (Minute Maid Park – Houston, Texas)
us in the past." last season are first players that complement our
A J Labas baseman/outfielder CJ Willis, veteran players," Mainieri said.
LSU returns five position infielder Gavin Dugas and "I'm still waiting to see which
players who started at least outfielder Drew Bianco. players are going to rise above
half of LSU's 66 games in others and make a statement
2019, including outfielder The Tigers' talented class that they should be starting
Daniel Cabrera, catcher Saul of newcomers includes players. As we went through
Garza, first baseman Cade 10 position players, and it fall practice, all of them
Beloso, outfielder Giovanni contains four players that have showed great things, just not
DiGiacomo and infielder been chosen in an MLB Draft – consistently. These next three
Hal Hughes. infielders Zach Arnold, Zack weeks are going to be
Mathis and Cade Doughty, and interesting to see. Even after
Other returning veterans who outfielder Mo Hampton Jr. the season begins, there is
filled part-time starting roles going to be some fluidity to
"We have a lot of our lineup."
new position
Landon Marceaux
Eric Walker

about our team.

"One of the keys for us, as last

year proved to be true, is our
ability to keep the guys
healthy. Rather than push a
starter to work an extra inning,
it's a good feeling knowing we
can go to the bullpen and bring
in a guy that is a veteran
pitcher and has pitched well for

Jamie Frederic-Braud

else was. My personal look at basketball, undefeated
congratulations goes to Coach in the SEC. Women's
(Orgeron) and to the football basketball is having a
team. We had a player on the phenomenal year. Gymnastics
football team, Mo Hampton. I is undefeated and ranked
met with our team the day after second in the country. We
the National Championship, on have a pretty good softball
Tuesday. We were allowed to team, I know Beth (Torina) is
have a team meeting, but not excited about her team this
practice until Wednesday. As I year. Across the board, LSU
stood there addressing my athletics has never been
team for the first time, it almost stronger. It is exciting to be
didn't feel like baseball season. around here. Now it's time for
There was just such a euphoric the baseball program to uphold
feeling from what the football its end of it as well.
team did this fall. It has been
an amazing year so far if you "I'm excited about our team

LSU Head
this year. We have a lot
of great kids and a lot of

Baseball Coach
Hal Hughes young kids and a veteran
pitching staff. There are a

Paul Mainieri
lot of things that make us
excited about this year. It
hasn't been often in the
14 years I have been Cole Henry
Opening Statement…
here where I stood in
front of everyone and
"It's so great to be back and
there are so many We only have three new
get ready for the start of the
unknowns about a team pitchers, so 13 guys are
season. What a year it has
as we have this year with veterans. It just so happens
been. More than anything, I am
our position players. Our the three new guys are
a college football fan and an
pitching staff is a veteran left-handers. We are excited
LSU football fan, so I was
pitching staff. We have about adding some left-handed
getting just as much enjoyment
16 pitchers on the team. pitching to the staff.
out of the season as everyone

HWY 30


S. Burnside Ave.

Ste. 2

• No appointment necessary
• Most insurances accepted
Walk-In Family Medicine

Richard J. Caro, M.D. • Sarah Chavez, M.D.* • Peter J. Monteyne, M.D.

* Se Habla Espanol
Affordable Care, Handled URGENTLY
Caring for Ascension Parish Monday - Friday 7am - 5pm
for Over 45 Years • 225.647.6533
2304 S. Burnside Ave Ste. 2 • Gonzales. Louisiana
For the second and third spots,
I think it is a battle between AJ
Labas, Landon Marceaux and
Eric Walker."

On Daniel Cabrera as a
leader of the team…

"He doesn't really have a

choice. We don't have that
many veteran position players.
Daniel is the most talented one
we have. I think he just knows
the responsibility. I let the
player who wears (jersey)
number eight decide on who to
give it to. When Antoine
(Duplantis) wanted to give it to
Daniel Cabrera, I asked Daniel
how he would feel about that
because there is a responsibil-
ity of leadership. I was really
of the puzzle together in our Zack Mathis has those happy with his response. He
"When you look at the position lineup, I think our pitching staff qualities of a real leader." wanted the number eight and
players, obviously we lost is going to be at a level that embraces that responsibility."
three major players last year in allows us to win games even On guys competing for
On the bullpen…
Josh Smith, Zach Watson and while we are learning about a spot in the weekend
Antoine Duplantis. Filling those our team."
rotation… "As far as the bullpen goes, we
holes is going to be huge. We
have a lot of new guys and a On replacing Josh "I am pretty sure Cole Henry
have some veterans that have
pitched some good baseball
lot of new position players. I Smith as a leader in will be our Friday night starter.
am still waiting to see which for us. Ma'Khail Hilliard, Trent
the infield… He has the capability to be one
players are going to rise above
of those spe-
others and make a statement
"Our infield is the most i cial guys we Saul Garza
that they should be starting
nexperienced group we have have had
players. As we went through
out there. We only have one around here. I
fall practice, all of them
returning infielder from last think he is
showed great things, just not
year's team and that is Hal going to con-
consistently. These next three
Hughes. Hal, of course, is a tinue to im-
weeks are going to be
fine defensive player. He is a prove as the
interesting to see. Even after
pretty steady shortstop and year goes on.
the season begins, there is
makes the routine play for us. I think you are
going to be some fluidity to our
On a given day if that's what talking about a
lineup. I don't think the lineup
we need is a shortstop to make kid that is po-
we start with on Opening Day
some plays for us and have tentially a first-
is going to be the same for 56
some scrappy at-bats, then round draft
games and the National
Hall will be the guy. When I choice and an
Championship. There are
think of a replacement for All-American
going to be different
Josh, even though it's a caliber pitcher.
opportunities for different guys
different Vietmeier, Matthew Beck,
throughout the year. While we
position, I Devin Fontenot, these guys
are trying to figure out the right Cade Beloso
think (third are good pitchers. They all
combination and put the pieces
baseman) have rough moments, but they
have done some outstanding
things for us. One of the keys
for us, as last year proved to
be true, is our ability to keep
the guys healthy. Rather than
push a starter to work an extra
inning, it's a good feeling
knowing we can go to the
bullpen and bring in a guy that
is a veteran pitcher and has
pitched well for us in the past."

Jaden Hill
The Ten Commandments of Mardi Gras
Once upon a time when the
world was in a total state of
confusion and there were no by Bill Delaune
government bailouts, a guy named
Moses went up to a local mountain
top and came down with the Ten
Commandments-guaranteed to
improve your life here and now
and in the hereafter.

Well, once a year in New

Orleans, the world returns to that
aforementioned state of confusion
with lots of lost souls in search
of guidance.

And so, as a public service

to you my faithful readers,
Ascension Magazine feels a moral
obligation to publish the Ten
Commandments of Mardi Gras-
handed down by Mac Rebennack,
better known as Dr. John the Nite
Tripper, when he came down from
the roof of Tipitina’s one night.
These may not save your soul but all-day sucker as the tag team of If they tell you to move and the
they have saved my life a few times tanks took turns battering my then “Those two,” I pointed out. crowd won’t let you-mark time.
during the Carnival season. bone-thin body. “Bertha and Betty. The Butt sis-
ters.” IV
Pronouns such as “thee” and Finally, I beat a retreat to the KEEP ABREAST OF THE
“thou” have been translated into edge of the crowd hoping my “Dose are our girlfriends,” roared CROWD-DON’T KEEP A
local slang which brings us to the Dutchtown letterman’s jacket was Antony and the pair started after CROWD WITH YOUR
first commandment… not torn to shreds. Suddenly, a me probably thinking they’d each BREAST
deep voice on the side of me asked grab a leg and make a wish.
I in that unmistakable native accent, Fortunately, there was a break in Self-explanatory.
LEARN TO SPEAK THE “Hey, bro. What’s that ‘D’ stand the parade and I lost them by
LANGUAGE SOME for? De La Salle?” racing through the Fortier Tarpon V
Marching Band to the other side of DON’T START DRINKING
First and foremost, it’s not New The booming voice came from a the street. As I caught my breath, TOO EARLY
Or-leans with the accent on the last giant in a Holy Cross jacket with I remembered a rule Randall told
syllable and rhyming with “jeans” more stripes for football and me they used in Viet Nam-“Get in One year my friend Tinker-yes the
no matter how many old songs wrestling letters than one would the middle and keep quiet.” one who led our band called
that you listen to. find in the zebra pen at the “Tinker and the Bells”- decided it
Audubon Zoo. Add to that fact III was time “to get down to some
It’s Noo Awlins. And if you want that his sidekick was an exact clone DON’T TOUCH THE COPS’ serious drinking.”
to greet someone in Noo Awlins, with a similar jacket and perhaps HORSES AND DON’T SIT
you certainly don’t say something you’ll understand why I chose a ON THEIR CARS Now I’m not sure what kind of
foolish like, “How do you do?” New Orleans response. drinking we had done in the
The correct form of address is Those horses wouldn’t spook if French Quarter the night before
“Where y’at, Tony!” even if the “Yeah. De La Salle,” I mumbled. you detonated a nuclear device at but my head was hurting so bad
person’s name is not Tony. In Wrong choice. their feet. I’ve seen people throw that I couldn’t open my eyes.
formal conversations, you should cherry bombs, silver salutes and
adjust to “Where y’at, Antony!” “Boy, we kicked you ‘Salley Molotov cocktails at those horse “Not a problem,” said Dr. Tinker,
being careful to leave out the “h”. Dollies’ all over City Park last year, and the nags never even flinched. “I was in the same fix just a few
didn’t we, Tony?” gloated Monster All you’ll accomplish is giving one short minutes ago. But then I
Omitting the “h” from “ninth number one. of New Orleans’s finest a case of discovered this secret elixir. I’m
ward” is also acceptable as is the redass and then your evening telling you-this stuff would raise
ordering raw “eysters” down at “Yeah you right, Antony,” laughed will become a night-mare. Lazarus from the dead.”
Felix’s. Tourists should carry a Monster number two.
copy of “A Confederacy of The worst I’ve ever seen a guy get And so that is how, on one Mardi
Dunces” for further translations Blame it on the beer. Blame it on beaten in New Orleans was because Gras morning long, long ago, four
and catch phrases. my country boy-can-survive he didn’t follow the second section grown men-so hung over that their
upbringing. Blame it on the bossa of this commandment. A pair of eyes hurt-got their first taste of
II nova. But I just couldn’t leave well cops approached him and asked vodka, Boone’s Farm apple wine
DON’T CATCH FOOT IN enough alone. him to get off the police car. and Visine. (“I didn’t know you
MOUTH DISEASE Twice! When he refused, the men were supposed to put the Visine in
“Yeah, well I got hit harder by in blue pulled him into an alley and your eyes,” Tinker later admitted.)
This one comes courtesy of my those two tush-hogs up by the played a passable version of “South
personal experience files. floats than I did in the entire Holy Rampart Street Parade” with their I think back then we might have
While battling two rather large Cross game,” I sneered. nightsticks on and about his been that wrong crowd your
women-oh, what the hell, they’ll body parts. mother warned you about.
never read this-make that obese “Wait a minute,” huffed Tony,
trolls for worthless trinkets one “which two broads you talkin’ Remember-those guys are already

Carnival, I took more licks than an ‘bout?” edgy and working 16-hour shifts.
VI bathroom within shouting you’re not lucky enough to have a Big deal. I didn’t care if it was part
REMEMBER WHERE YOU distance. Just remember friend’s house or apartment nearby, of King Solomon’s jewels, I wasn’t
PARKED YOUR CAR AND Commandment II and don’t ask you need to have a plan because in playing that stupid game anymore.
WHAT HAPPENED TO a lot of questions. most cases the local song about
CINERELLA “There Ain’t No Place To Pee on But that’s when Fate decided to
Hollywood has tried in vain to Mardi Gras Day” is painfully throw me a curve. With people
After attending Mardi Gras so capture the true New Orleans accurate. crowding around his car and
many times, you begin to think accent but there is a scene in the begging for the coin, the king
your vast experience is going to movie “No Mercy” where a typical At the aforementioned debacle spotted me in the back. His
give you an edge. Just remember- Westsider pretty much sums up the at the ferry landing (See majesty looked me right in the eye
the gods like confidence, they feelings of the area. If you were Commandment VI.), a couple of and motioned as if to throw. Well,
don’t like cocky. one of the few that didn’t go to us began to feel the need. I thought, if he’s going to single
that flick just to see Kim Bassinger Thinking we couldn’t possibly me out, I might as well catch the
We were so smart. We parked our slosh through the swamp in a wet pollute the river any worse than it damn thing. And with that, the
car on the West Bank and took the shirt, then you may recall the scene already was in New Orleans, we king sailed the treasured doubloon
ferry across the river to the foot of where detective Richard Gere starts began to relieve ourselves in the right to me.
Canal Street. Everyone congratu- snooping around on the West dark off the upraised ferry dock.
lated Canton on such a wonderful Bank. That’s when we noticed a boat At first, I thought I wouldn’t have
idea. No traffic. No parking directly below our mainstream to move a step. But then my old
hassles. We hit the streets running Finally, one of the natives informs attack. Gradually, as the waves outfielder’s instincts honed on
and partied into the wee hours. the star in classic Yat, “You start turned the boat into the Sunday afternoons at the
asking questions in Algiers, Baby, moonlight, we could make Prairieville Ballpark told me I’d
There was only one small problem. and dey’ll cut your @#$%^&*() out the writing on the side-“New have to take a couple of steps to
The last ferry from the East Side tongue out.” Orleans Police River Patrol.” the right and backhand it.
departed at midnight and we Simultaneously, a voice boomed
arrived at the landing area some Amen to that. from the darkness behind us, “Just Then a gust of wind caught the
time between three and daybreak. what do y’all think you’re doing?” silver circle and kept it airborne
Just like those two star-crossed VIII longer than I had anticipated.
Indian lovers Running Bear and MAKE A SIGN FOR A BEADS The zip of the zippers, the flash of Now I’m in a full sprint and it’s
Little White Dove, the raging BONANZA a badge and we were in trouble going to be a Willie Mays over-the-
river separated us from our car once again. But when we shoulder catch. Despite keeping
beckoning to us in the moonlight People on floats love signs. Signs explained our dilemma and the my eye on the prize, I also became
across the way. give them a chance to show how cop realized we would have to ride faintly aware of a small black kid
accurately they can throw and the Algiers Loop bus to get back roughly the size of Webster
If you’ve ever wondered how hit a target and you can be the from whence we came, he just matching me stride for stride. I
you would get to the West Bank beneficiary if you’re creative and laughed and mumbled something glanced back and saw the dou-
from Canal Street at four in the clever enough. about that being worse bloon floating gently toward my
morning, well I’m here to tell you. punishment than be locked up outstretched fingers. Flaunting
You take the Algiers Loop bus. Let’s say you’re getting a little in the First Precinct Jail. my two-foot height advantage,
And do you know who rides the heavy to climb up on your old I reached up…
Algiers Loop bus at that hour-with man’s shoulders these days but you Who knows? I might have met
the exception of some dumb, still want to reap the benefits of Mister Bojangles in that cell and That’s when I fell off the curb.
drunk honkies who left their car Carnival throws. Back off from the become Jerry Jeff Walker. Or I
somewhere over the river? Why maddening crowd and make a could have at least penned a tale to As I lay in the gutter, a burst
every gypsy, tramp and thief on sign-ideally one that will inspire rival Arlo Guthrie’s classic “Alice’s six-pack of beer foaming and
his/her/its way back to a project love or-even better-hate from the Restaurant”. There’s no telling gurgling around me, there were a
named Desire. float riders. what kind of exposure I could few things that were painfully
have gotten from a little obvious. First of all, I was lying in
The bus driver eyed our group My friend Buzzy, who now lives in indecent exposure. a gutter in a puddle of beer at one
suspiciously as we got on board. Key West where it’s Mardi Gras o’clock in the afternoon and the
every day, was the king of sign X parade was still an hour away.
“Y’all got a gun or a knife on any makers during the 90’s. His LEAVE YOUR GOOD
of you?” he asked. picture of Saddam Hussein with CLOTHES AT HOME Secondly, Webster had the king’s
the inscription “Scud Me” drew doubloon and was grinning at me
“Of course not,” came the curt violent reactions-and tons of The day after my brush with death like a possum eating grapes.
reply from one of our more beads-during the Gulf War. the hands of Holy Cross and Holy
self-righteous members who had Crosser (See Commandment II.), I And if those factors were not bad
passed out on the vodka and Visine His sign depicting Dorothy swore off chasing after beads and enough, my new Levis were torn at
concoction earlier in the evening. Mae Taylor, the New Orleans fighting over doubloons. both knees and strawberries that
councilwoman who wanted to do would have made any Hammond
“Well, y’all gonna need one or away with Mardi Gras, drew a I put on a new pair of Levis, farmer proud were forming on my
both if you go back there,” said the similar response the following year. hooked a six-pack to my belt the kneecaps.
driver motioning toward some Not nearly as successful was a way I’d seen my back-Galvez But the thing I remember most
shadowy figures in the back of the poster featuring the Clintons as friends do and stationed myself at clearly is the woman with the little
bus. “Y’all better stay up here with one big happy First Family in the very rear of the mob preparing girl shielding her daughter from
me.” 1998. Buzzy later told me he to watch thousands make complete me and telling anyone who would
thought he’d figured out fools of themselves at the Sunday listen, “People like that are the
I practically sat in his lap all the the problem. afternoon Mid City Parade. reason I hate coming to New
way across the bridge. Orleans for Mardi Gras.”
“Most people didn’t get it because The first float was not even in sight
VII they couldn’t distinguish Chelsea yet when this convertible came You were probably right, ma’am.
DA WEST SIDE’S DA Clinton from Socks the Cat,” he cruising by with one flashy dude But people like that are the reason
BEST SIDE explained. sitting on top of the back seat. He I still go back.
had no beads but he was waving
The last horror story notwithstand- IX one crummy doubloon at the Happy Carnival!
ing, there are some great parades LOCATE PROSPECTIVE crowd like he had received it from
on the West Bank-especially for RESTROOM FACILITIES AS Jean Lafitte himself.
those of us at the end of our er- EARLY AS POSSIBLE
ratic-and erotic-careers. The “That’s the king’s doubloon,” I
crowds are pleasant, the throws are “Find the euphemism,” Dr. Seuss heard one lady tell her daughter.

plentiful and there’s usually a might have put it. Anyway, if
1 3 0 5 3 H W Y. 4 3 1 • S T. A M A N T Jammin’with

Catch and
and Cook
Put your beer in the refrigerator
and hook up your guitar, I’ve
got a good many people


coming tonight for the jam,
were the first words spoken.


Wanting to cool down the in a country whose society is
refreshments in a hurry I not threatened, for the most
opened up the freezer part, with starvation. I’m very
compartment of the refrigera- grateful for that.
tor but there was no room for It’s always been a priority of
the natty lights. The freezer mine, being a hunter and
was full of filleted sac-au-laits. fisherman, to try in every
Man you need to cook some reasonable way to utilize all
State-of-the-Art of those fish was my reply to edible creatures that I take life
Equipment the findings. To my surprise from. Our hunting and fishing
the owner of the establish- is great and it is sometimes
Front End ment, a long time friend of possible to harvest more than
mine, said “ I don’t know you need. Hunters For the
Hungry is a program where


how to and my wife doesn’t
cook them because of some outdoorsmen can donate part


present health problems she or all of their harvest to a
has.” I then said what are you designated HFH processor
waiting for, a hurricane to with no cost to the sports-
come and knock out the man. The game or fish are
power so you can throw them then distributed to the needy
away and go catch some in the area of donations via
more? Why don’t we have a food banks, soup kitchens,
big fish fry at one of these shelters and other agencies. If
music events and use the fish you have more than you want
up? I’ll even help pay and or need then contact Hunters
assist a couple of our buddies for the Hungry concerning
who will be glad to cook them the Freshly Harvested Game
up for the crowd. program, or the Clean Out
24 Hr. Emergency Roadside Service A month or two passed and Your Freezer Day event. This
before you know it a large event usually takes place in
gathering of local musicians September. Visit their website
and several spectators were for tips on packing your
assembled for a beautiful bounty for donation to our
evening of music along with local food banks.
some fantastic fried fish As I walked away from that
dining. Two aluminum pans event later that night I felt
of Louisiana’s finest fish that beyond having a wonder-
afforded twenty five plus ful time playing music with
people a meal that day. some very good friends of
• All tires from ATV to Commercial Machinery • Emergency road service
• All brands to fit autos, trucks and assistance-Commercial Only Although it’s a very minimal mine that we had succeeded
18 wheelers, including tractor/ • Locally owned and operated since 2004 thing, those twenty plus in preventing the waste of
construction equipment tires • New used and retreads people did not have to get such a great Louisiana
food elsewhere for supper. resource. Now that freezer
Thankfully we live in a great compartment is empty and
country but in many ways we ready to be refilled. Hopefully
are a spoiled society when it I’ll be there for the next fish
comes to food waste. Believe fry. We’ll see. It takes that guy
me there’s plenty of people in a long time to catch that
Locally Owned & Operated by this world that has never and many fish...
never will have the opportu-
Oscar and Linda Mire and sons nity to eat a meal like we had Till Next Time,
Call for Appointment • 225.644.8473 at the jam that night. Only by Can’t Wait!
James “Goosie“ Guice
the grace of God I was born
with Kellie
Useless Random Facts

Entertainment Schedule
The first World Series was played between Pittsburgh and
Boston in 1903 and was a nine-game series. Boston won the
series 5-3.

Foret Tradition
February 21st

There are about 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
atoms in a human body.

B Street Benny
February 29th
The National Baseball Hall of Fame & Museum is
located in Cooperstown, N.Y. It was created in 1935 to
celebrate baseball's 100th anniversary.

Brice and Jenna

March 1st

In 1912 a law passed in Nebraska where drivers in the

country at night were required to stop every 150 yards,
send up a skyrocket, wait eight minutes for the road to clear
before proceeding cautiously, all the while blowing their

Spank the Monkey

March 13th
horn and shooting off flares.

Pete Rose, who played for the Cincinnati Reds and then was
banned from baseball for life for betting on games while
managing the team, holds the all-time record for hits (4,256)
and games played (3,562).

Babe Ruth's top salary was $80,000 (in 1930 and 1931).
Adjusted for inflation, that's the equivalent of a little more
than $1.1 million today (a little less than middle reliever
Antonio Bastardo made last year).

In his very first at bat as a 28-year-old rookie pitcher,
Hall of Famer Hoyt Wilhelm hit a home run. His career
lasted for 21 more years and 493 plate appearances, but he

Foret Tradition
never hit another home run.

This one will drive you crazy! There are castles and even

February 21st
lighthouses that are less expensive than NYC apartments

The average person will shed almost 20 kgs (40 lbs.)
of skin in their lifetime.
The average bolt of lightning contains enough energy to
toast 100,000 pieces of bread. 1711 S. BURNSIDE • GONZALES • 644-8901
Thoughts from Bully

Super Bowl
First Time
I attend and take photos all beautiful sunshiny day thank
across the parish all year long. My God but it was a little cool and
favorite by far is the Super Bowl breezy. Fortunately BBQ pits
Rib-Off. Yes it is sponsored by tend to keep us warm throughout
Ascension Magazine but more the day.
importantly I get to participate. As the pits were fired up at 11
This year we had a great turn new comers and old pros were
out with 15 cooks. full of excitement. Right off the
I’ve bend talking up the bat one the new champion cooks
Rib-Off and challenging
Jambalaya Champion cooks to
come try something different and
they took me up on it. In this
years field of cooking we had
cracklin cooking champions,
Jambalaya cooking champions
and are all outstanding all-around
The event started Friday
afternoon when the fire was lite
to cook a 75lb hog over night for
the guest on Saturday to snack on
during the event. Also Cajun
Livin’ N Cookin television show
started filming the beginning of a
show about the event that will
aire in coming months.
It’s Saturday morning and
cooks started arriving. With all
the rain we have had lately the
cooks had to congregate on the
high grounds. This was a

wanted to cook more than the he wins the liquor award. With
alloted 2 racks and had to be Shake, when the awards are
called down. No demerits were announced win or lose, he’s still
administered but a warning was happy. I reminded everyone I was
givin. the reining champion and
As I looked across the cooking through down the BBQ
field I saw second year champion challenge, “Come get some
Lebo and 2 time champion Luke. boys!”
Also Shake is a multiple time As the day moved on the beer
champion and alway a great flowed free and hopes were rising.
contender and if he doesn’t place The anticipation was building as

the judges made the thanks to all the people who
announcements. Woody helped make this happen. My
Woodward came in 3rd, son, Lebo, ran many errands
Shake came in 2nd and first for me. Stump made the
time ever cooking BBQ ribs injection marinade and shot
and first time Champion was up the hog for cooking along
Taner Bourque. with Mike, his brother-in-
Congratulations Taner. law.
Oh by-the-way I came out Many thanks go out to this
somewhere in the middle of years new cooks. Woody,
the pack. Koby, Kyle, Taner, Bart and
I want send out a big Justin. Also thanks go out to

the judges, Danny, Bryan, Hoss crooked. Like wives do, they knowledge of fire, smoke and and gone and I can’t wait until
and Wally. How ever since I unbuttoned and straighten them temperatures was impressive. I we meet again.
didn’t win I may be making some up as I was about to be on learned a great deal. Thanks go Last but not least many thanks
changes to judges that may take a camera with the television show out to the hog, Piggy Sue, for go to Rodney and Leslie for
bribe. we were recording. Thanks ladies. tasting so good. filming the event for Cajun Livin’
Also thank you Tanil and A big thank you goes out to Galoot was our youngest cook. N Cookin’. Viewing date to be
Selena, wives that were concerned Adam Gautreau. Adam is a part Both he and Lawson have bright announced.
called me to the side. They of the Cajun Blaze BBQ cooking futures cooking. Jeff and Jarred Get ready boys for next year.
noticed that I had put on my team that cook in major events are always going to be a threat. I’m not even going to practice.
shirt and I had my buttons all around the country. Your Another year has now come

Hey, Dr. Rob!

Thumper keeps
copying me! No... Dr. Rob!
Boudreaux keeps
copying me!

Eric Lambert

Our Front End Alignment

Equipment is State-of-the-Art

225.744.4905 225.647.3000 • 1311 N. BURNSIDE • GONZALES
Jambalaya Festival Association Host
Senior Soc Hop

30 Years of Top Notch Services
Braud Company Welding & Industrial Supplies Abrasives Janitorial Equipment
has been providing material to industries for over Adhesives, Sealants & Tapes Marking Tools
thirty years. Our emphasis is on service.
Chemicals, Lubricants & Paints Material Handling
We take pride in same day delivery and
Display Units Measuring & Leveling Tools
customer service is always our number one
Electrical & Lighting MRO Supplies
priority and we deliver ontime, everytime.
Electrical Tools Plumbing Equipment

We have a well stocked walk-in sales counter

Fasteners, Clamps & Straps Pneumatics
Hand Tools Pumps
where you can purchase any quantity of an item. Oilfield Power Tools
HVAC Safety & Security

225.673.3370 • Toll Free 888.269.4315 •

225.647.4332 • Hwy. 44 • Gonzales
Cooking Gourmet at Home


1 lb Louisiana Crawfish tails (peeled) ¼ cup Mayonnaise
1 cup diced onion 1 tablespoon Creole Mustard
¼ cup diced celery 1 tablespoon Ketchup
¼ cup diced bell pepper 2 teaspoons Horseradish
2 teaspoons minced garlic 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon chopped green onions 4 eggs
½ cup extra virgin olive oil 2 cups panko bread crumbs
1 lemon (juiced) 1 cup bread crumbs
½ cups fresh shredded smoked Gouda
(any cheese you like)
Kosher salt & fresh ground black pepper to taste

In a large skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of the extra virgin olive oil over medium high heat. When the
oil is hot, add your onions, celery, bell pepper, and minced garlic and cook for 1 minute. Add the
crawfish tails, Worcestershire. Cook for about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, then remove from the
heat and pour into a large mixing bowl.

Crawfish Cakes with Now, add your shredded cheese to the crawfish mixture and season to taste with salt & pepper. Add
the green onions, 2 eggs, and the regular bread crumbs to the crawfish and mix well. At this point
your mixture should be able to hold its shape. (add a little more bread crumbs if not)
Remoulade sauce Form mixture into cakes

In a mixing bowl add the 2 remaining eggs, salt & pepper then whisk. In another small bowl add
the panko bread crumbs
Yield: 8 cakes
In a large skillet, heat the remaining olive oil over medium high heat. While the oil is heating, dip
Prep: 15 minutes each cake into the egg mixture, then the panko bread crumbs. Once your oil is hot, add the cakes
and fry them for about 2-3 minutes on each side. (You can also bake these cakes for a healthier
option- 350 for 10 minutes) Remove the cakes from the hot oil and set them on a plate with
Cook: 10 minutes paper towel to drain.
Executive Chef
Sam Penton In a small bowl combine your mayo, Creole mustard, ketchup, horseradish, and lemon juice.
Serving: 4 Mix well and drizzle over the top of your delicious crawfish cakes ENJOY!!!!!!

Beads • Throws • Decorations
225.248.9720 • 800.229.6054
8986 Florline Blvd., Baton Rouge, LA 70815