COMPLIMENTARY

FEBRUARY 2020, VOL. 18 ISSUE 2

LSU BASEBALL
2020
Let’s Kick Up
Some Dust

Daniel Cabrera

SEE PAGE 24
 Time to treat yourself to a new lifestyle,
Be Carefree...Be Cared For!

We invite you to come out and see all

It's Carnival Time
the fun we have at Francois Bend!
2nd ANNUAL MARDI GRAS BALL
COME DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY!
When: Friday, Feb. 21st from 5:30 PM - 7:30 PM
Live Music by Artemis

Tickets on sale now at Francois Bend!*

$7 Family of residents
$10 Individuals
$15 Couples
*Day of event: $12 individual and $20 couple

KREWE of FRANCOIS
1st Annual Mardi Gras Padade
When: Monday, Feb. 24th
Parade starts at 1:30 PM, we will be celebrating
Lundi Gras all day!

Call today to schedule your Come out and enjoy the festivities at the
complimentary lunch tour! Francois Bend Campus!
225.647.2363

326 East Industry St., Gonzales, LA 70737 • FrancoisBend.com

INDEPENDENT • ASSISTED LIVING • MEMORY CARE COMMUNITY
 Publisher / Editor
Mike Strong
Table of Contents
LIONS CLUB PANCAKES........... 4
Associate Editor
GONZALES GARDEN CLUB .... 8
Thumper
Sales Manager SWEET EYES W/ TANYA...........12

Dottie Godberry LSU BASEBALL OUTLOOK ........24 FOR MORE INFORMATION

225.622.3262
Staff Photographer BILL DELAUNE.......................... 30 www.riverparishfoods.com

Jimmy Dunkley
JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE......... 32

THOUGHTS FROM BULLY......34

Contributing Writers
SENIOR SOC HOP ................... 40
Bill Delaune

On the Cover: LSU Sports Information provided photos and article for outlook.
Linda Melancon SNO’S RECIPE........................... 45

Bully
Goosie Guice
Orhan McMillan
Kellie Seymour
Tanya Stilley
Jimmy Dunkley
Patti Mouton
Jamie Lavigne
Mariah Simoneaux

For Advertising
Information Please call:
225-622-1324

E-Mail Comments
to Stronggraphics1@cox.net
www.ascensionmagazine.net

Note: Features in this

publication labeled
“advertorial”
are paid for editorials.
All Rights Reserved.
Opinions expressed are not
necessarily those of the
publisher, editor or staff of
Ascension Magazine

18386 Little Prairie Rd.

Prairieville, LA 70769

3
Gonzales Lions Club Host Pancake Breakfast
The Gonzales Lions Club held
its annual All-You-Can-Eat
Pancake Breakfast fundraiser
on Sunday, January 26th @
the East Ascension High
School Cafetorium, in
Gonzales, LA.
The Gonzales Lions Club
experienced another success-
ful year of support for a
wonderful cause while enjoying
great food and sensational
entertainment provided by
Center Stage Performing Arts
Academy. The event included
all-you-can-eat pancakes,
sausage, juice, milk, and
coffee. Jambalaya lunches,
prepared by former World
Champion, Wally Tallion, were
available for purchase.
This year was special as 8N
District Governor, Lambart
Ratard, and his wife, PCC
Francoise Ratard, were on
hand to present coveted
Monarc Chevrons to three of
our Gonzales Lions for their
4
years of service to the
Gonzales Lions Club: Rodney
Lagarbo (25 years), Joe
Hutchinson (20 years) and
Todd Villar (20 years). The
Gonzales Lions Charter was
granted in 1943. We were also
honored to have Lion pancake
volunteer, and newly elected
Speaker of the House, State
Representative, Clay
Schexnayder, available to
address the large crowd. Lion
Chrystal Matthews presided as
Committee Chair for the
second year. Her detailed
event plan, once again allowed
the Lions, and volunteers, to
effectively and efficiently
contribute to the success of
this event.
Belts and canned goods were
also collected at the door. All
ticket sales fund the Gonzales
Lions Club’s charitable proj-
ects. These include KidSight
vision screening for preschool
children, financial assistance
for individuals who need eye
exams/glasses, donations to
local events and organizations,
high school senior scholar-
ships, sponsoring youth with
special needs to summer
camp, and so much more.

We value our partnership

Center Stage, the performers,
their families and with our
entire community. If you are
interested in being sponsored
and joining our mission as a
Lion, or simply want more
information, please visit our
Gonzales Lions website.
#weserve

We Can Help with

Your Tax Worries.
• Personal Loans • Auto Title Loans • Confidential Loans

Call
Tessa or Lacy

For Loan Information Call 647-7422

5
 Schedule Your
Professional Install.
Certified Installer

6
Enjoy the Events at Azalea Estates!

Join Us and Enjoy Our Events:

Feb 18 @ 2:00
River Rats
Feb 19 @ 2:00
Southern Cross
Feb 24 @ 9:00
Hoyt Cuti
Feb 25 @ 2:00
Mardi Gras w/Kut-n-Up
Feb 25 @ 6:00
Jason Duplessis & Kenny Fife
March 2 @ 2:00
Ron Pennington
March 6 @ 2:00
Jim Bullion
March 7 @ 1:00
NoteWorthy
March 19 @ 2:00
St. Joseph Altar

2 3 0 5 S . P u r p e r a A v e n u e , G o n z a l e s , L A 7 07 37 • 2 2 5 . 6 4 4 .10 2 8
7

A Bird’s
Eye View
The Gonzales Garden Club
gathered at the First Baptist
Church of Gonzales on S.
Burnside Avenue on January 8
for a business meeting, an
education program and a
luncheon.
During the meeting, roll call
respondents posed questions
about native plants. A brand
new member, Elizabeth Saffell,
was welcomed into the club,
and a floral line-mass
arrangement by Mary Jo
Pohlig was critiqued. The
horticultural hint was to fertilize
trees in late January by using
one pound of general purpose
fertilizer for each inch of
This highly recommended book can be
ordered from its author at
naturldlite@cox.net for $25.
diameter of the trunk. Plans
were made for Arbor Day and
next month’s meeting about
camellias.
Horticulture Chairman
Conchita Richey had invited
Master Gardeners and
members of other garden clubs
to attend an
educational
program which
emphasized why Hosting the January meeting were, from left, Cathy Venable, Loretta Ramirez, Sandy Stewart, Janis
native plants matter.
D’Benedetto, Dale Bowman, and Gwen Heck.
In the chapel of the First audubon.org/native-plants and
Baptist Church, President of audubon.org/plantsforbirds.
the Baton Rouge Chapter of For lunch, hostesses
the Audubon Society Jane Loretta Ramirez, Dale
Patterson instructed 30 club Bowman, Janis D’Benedetto,
members and guests on Gwen Heck, Sandy Stewart
“Plants for Birds”. She and Cathy Venable provided
encouraged the
conservation and
preservation of natural
habitats because
native plants provide
food opportunities for
insects and birds.
Patterson shared
informational New GGC Members Brenda Bertrand and
Elizabeth Saffell donned their personalized
resources about garden club tote bags.
bird-friendly plants,
such as Native three choices of chili with all
Gardening in the the fixings along with desserts.
South by William A local Baton Rouge restaurant
Fontenot. For more will accommodate the club in
information and tips February after a camellia stroll.
on creating an
environmentally
friendly space that
helps protect birds,
see Audubon’s native
plants database at The Gonzales Garden Club is
federated by National Garden Clubs, Inc.
Jane Patterson, President of the Baton Rouge Audubon Society, delivered an
interesting presentation on “Plants for Birds” as the highlight of the club’s
gathering on January 8 at the First Baptist Church of Gonzales.
8

Gonzales
Commercial
Landscapes of
the Month
This February, the Gonzales
Garden Club is featuring two
school board properties as
Commercial Landscapes of the
Month. This dual recognition
comes with acknowledgement
of the renovation of the shared
parking lot and flower beds at
LeBlanc Special Services
Center at 611 N. Burnside
Avenue and Gonzales Primary
School at 521 N. Burnside
Avenue. The new parking lot
spans the frontage of the two
buildings. The selected
plantings vary in color,
President Cointment joins Gonzales Garden Club in Tree Planting Ceremony
An old Chinese proverb says
that the best time to plant a
tree is twenty years ago; the
second best time is now. With
texture and height.
The LeBlanc Special Services
Center plantings spotlight
young sweetbay magnolias as
signature plants flanking the
main stairway entrance. The
surrounding beds are layered
with liriope, blue flax,
agapanthus and camellias.
Director of Special Education
Lynn Hathaway expressed her
gratitude by saying “Our
beautiful new landscaping has
been a wonderful renovation
for our building. Our LeBlanc
Staff is enjoying our parking lot
makeover. Thank you so much
for recognizing LeBlanc and
Gonzales Primary!"”
Gonzales Primary's entryway
plantings are attractively
structured in tiers of raised
that in mind, President Clint
Cointment joined Gonzales city
officials and the Gonzales
Garden Club at a tree planting
The sidewalk along Gonzales Primary and LeBlanc Special Services Center are lined with
shrubs as part of the 2015 Gonzales Comprehensive Plan.
brick beds. Over the
seasons, the school will enjoy
repeat-blooming drift roses,
aromatic juniper borders and
perennial iris flowers along the
accessible entrance ramps.
Cone-shaped hollies call
attention to the variations in
height and texture. Principal
Dr. Roddy Melancon noted his
appreciation for the school
board’s efforts with “The
results are fabulous! We are
very proud of the outcome of
our new entrance. The
renovation is working out
ceremony in front of the
Ascension Parish Health Unit.
As it has in the past,
Gonzales Garden Club
donated and planted the tree,
this time a crape myrtle, for its
53rd annual Arbor Day
program. The tree was
presented by member Janis
Poche and her husband Harlan
Poche, who planted it.
Garden Club President
Jamie Trisler began the
program by recognizing
everyone present, and
commending President
Cointment on his efforts to
clean the parish by mobilizing
litter clean-up crews.
Cointment, in turn, praised the
Garden Club for its efforts over
9
beautifully. Thank you so
much for this recognition.”
This school board project
complements the city’s
installment of the shrubbery
and sidewalks along the
Burnside Avenue Corridor. The
garden club welcomes these
worthy developments
spawned by the Gonzales
Comprehensive Plan to
beautify the main street.
The Gonzales Garden Club is
federated by National Garden Clubs, Inc.
the years to Keep Ascension
Beautiful. He noted that by
working together, great things
can be accomplished.
Health Unit Director Christy
Burnett accepted the tree on
behalf of the parish, and
looked forward to the day it
would provide a nice shaded
outdoor sitting area for clients.
To close the program, garden
club member Patti Mouton
read a poem that was written
by one of their members.
“An Old Oak Tree Reminisces”
by Willie Mae Montgomery
is read each Arbor Day.
 Get
Growing,
Cressleaf groundsel goes by
many names, including

Ascension!
butterweed, ragwort and
squawweed. Scientifically it is
known as Packera glabella. It
is a member of the same
family of plants as sunflowers.

What’s
In South Louisiana it is often
called, “pissenlit”, the French
word for dandelion.

that Weed?
Cressleaf groundsel is a winter
annual. This means that
seeds germinate in the fall and
Mariah Simoneaux
the plant grows throughout the
You have seen them growing along
groundsel grows throughout the winter months. Flowering
roadsides and ditches, in open
Southeast United States. It can usually occurs in January and
fields and on the edge of wooded
grow and full sun or partial shade. February. The plants will
areas. The bright yellow blooms of Butterweed flower – Two mosquitoes rest on a
It prefers moist, low-lying areas, so eventually produce many cressleaf groundsel flower. Photo by Mariah
cressleaf groundsel can be spotted
it’s no surprise it thrives in our dandelion like seed heads, Simoneaux.
all over this time of year. Cressleaf
swampy conditions. which resemble puffballs.
groundsel make a beautiful
Cressleaf groundsel plants can
golden display.
grow fairly tall, sometimes reaching
a height of two to three feet.
Mariah Simoneaux is the Horticul-
The stem, which is hollow, is thick
ture Agent serving Ascension and
and succulent.
Assumption Parishes. For more
information visit
Most people refer to cressleaf
www.LSUAgCenter.com, or
groundsel as a weed, cattlemen
contact Mariah at
especially consider it a nuisance.
MJSimoneaux@agcenter.LSU.edu.
It is poisonous to grazing animals
and should be controlled in a
pasture setting. However,
homeowners need not worry.
Cressleaf groundsel is also
considered a wildflower. It is a
nectar source for bees, butterflies,
and other important pollinators.
Butterweed group – This grouping of cressleaf groundsel brightens up a ditch bank along Large groupings of cressleaf
Edenborne Parkway in Gonzales. Photo by Mariah Simoneaux.
For All Our Information & Services: franksrestaurantla.com

It’s in
the Skin
Writing about beauty products
certainly has its perks. I get to try
lots of new products…yay! But
more products mean more
options. Which comes first,
primer or sunscreen? Wait…do I
apply serum or moisturizer next?
With so many options I had to
refresh my memory on the order
of application. Hopefully this will
be a reminder for you as well!
Here’s my AM Prep Breakdown:
Step 1 – Cleanse
For many years, I’ve used
Aveeno’s Positively Radiant
Brightening Facial cleanser. It’s a
soy-based gel that always leaves
my face soft and sooth. This
gentle every day cleaner is
hypoallergenic, non-comedogenic
and available at any drug store.
Step 2 – Tone
Loreal’s Hydrafresh Toner is a
refreshing toner that uses beta
hydroxy acid and pro-vitamin B5.
This toner helps gently removes
any residue, while maintaining
moisture level and balanced
PH level.
Step 3 – Serum
While traveling in Paris last year,
I tried Claudalie skin care line and
fell in love with the Vinoperfect
Radiance Serum. This day or
night patented serum is made
from olives, grapes, and viniferine
(aka grapevine sap!) and provides
12
62 times more radiance boosting
power than Vitamin C. Need I
say more?
Step 4 - Eye Cream/Gel
Laneige Water Bank Eye Gel is a
fresh, lightweight gel that
completely smooths out any
opportunity for fine lines or
wrinkles. It never burns my
sensitive under eye skin and looks
ah-mazing under any makeup or
concealer. This undereye gel is
made from six moisture-
maximizing minerals that are
ionized and stabilized in water
to penetrate quicker into skin.
Step 5 – Moisturizer
Since my skin tends to be more
on the oily side, I have to make
sure all the products I use in my
am skin routine are lightweight
and absorb quickly into my
skin. Caudalie Vinosource
Moisturizing Sorbet does just
that. It’s known as the “sensitive
skin savior” because it replenishes
skin water reserves reduces skin
redness and sensitivity.
Step 6 – SPF
Recommended by dermatolo-
gists, EltaMD UV Daily Broad
Spectrum 40 is made of
lightweight minerals and
hyaluronic acid and offers
complete UVA and UVB
spectrum coverage. This SPF will
not weigh down your morning
skin prep routine.
This step should be like
the others
I use two different primers at this
point to accomplish different
purposes. In my T zone, I tend
to be oiler, so I use
Shiseido WASO: Poreless Matte
Primer in this area. It reduces
oil and keeps my T zone nice
and matte.
For the rest of my face, I like a
little glow, so I like Becca’s First
Light Filter Face Primer. This
ginger based energizing primer
offers color-neutralizing
technology while giving a
brighter, smoother complexion.
That’s my AM skin care routine.
Lots of steps yes, but these steps
will bring a great reward. Skin
loves consistency and care, and
with a daily routine, you will see
great results.
XOXO,
Sweet Eyes
13
 We’re Listening to you Ascension!
We work hard to maintain our standards of quality.
At the same time able to lower our price.
So what are you waiting for. Join Us!

Ichiban Caters
We have a variety of menus to
cater your special needs!
We have 8 Hibachi Grills
for Every Occasion!
Delicious Lenten Dishes Everyday!
Ichiban in Gonzales has a lenten menu all year round.
We have delicious scallop and shrimp dishes. Lobster and
fish dishes that please your taste buds.
No, it’s not raw. It’s prepared as you like.
Give us a try. I’m sure you will return.

15% OFF
Not Valid

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with any
other offer.
Expires 3/30/20
ASCENSION
MAGAZINE

217 N. Airline Hwy. • Gonzales, La 70737 • 225-647-2266

14
 Jordyn Blazier
When that Special Celebration Requires a Special Photograph.

Creative Photography

maternity • senior portraits • bridals • birthday sessions • family • engagements

Facebook: Facebook.com/jordynblazierphotography • Instagram: @JordynBlazierPhotography • Phone: (225) 290-9012 • Email: blazierj19@gmail.com

15
 Soaring Eagles Accomplishments Fly High
in State Competitions ! Congratulations!

Robotics
Team

Songfest
Dutchtown Primary Beta Club
On January 28th, the Dutchtown Jr. Beta Club traveled to Lafayette, La. to participate in the
State Convention. After much effort on the part of students, parents, and sponsors, our club
participated in several events and placed high enough to travel to the National Convention in
Fort Worth, Texas this June. Our Songfest group placed first in the state, our Robotics Club
placed 3rd in the state, and our Quiz Bowl team placed fifth in the state. Dutchtown Primary
is so proud of our soaring Eagles and their accomplishments in this club. We look forward to
traveling to National Convention to compete against students from all over the country.

Dates to Remember! Dutchtown Physical Therapy

is Proud to Support Our
Mardi Gras Holidays
February 24th and 25th
Parent Teacher Conference Day Local Schools
March 23rd Quiz
State Testing Dates Bowl
LEAP 5th - 8th Grades
•April 21st - 24th and April 27th - May 1st
LEAP 3rd - 4th Grades
• April 27th - May 1

Visit our website at dtphysicaltherapy.com

“Your Community Physical Therapy Provider for Over 12 years”

(225) 744-3631 • fax (225) 744-3647

DUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL THERAPY • 13053 HIGHWAY 73, SUITE B • GEISMAR, LOUISIANA 70734

16
FINANCIAL FOCUS
Be Aware of
Social Security
Myths
Social Security can be one
source of retirement income for
you and your spouse. To
maximize your benefits, you’ll
need to make some key
decisions and be aware of
some common myths.
• Myth 1: Always take Social
Security early. You can file for
Social Security benefits as early
as 62, but you could get 25% to
30% more if you wait until
your “full” retirement age (likely
between 66 and 67). You can
receive even more if you wait
until 70, at which point your
benefits will “max out.”
However, there’s no right time
to file for everyone – it depends
on your situation, including fac-
tors such as your life
expectancy, employment,
financial need and spousal
considerations.
• Myth 2: When you claim So-
cial Security won’t affect your
spouse’s benefits. This is not
true. How much you receive in
Social Security can affect your
spouse’s benefits while you are
alive (spousal benefits) and
after you’ve passed away
(survivor’s benefits). Your
spouse could receive up to half
of your retirement benefit, offset
by his or her own benefit, so the
longer you work before
collecting Social Security, the
greater the potential spousal
benefits. For survivor benefits,
your spouse would receive
100% of your benefit or his or
her own, whichever is larger, so
Jamie Lavigne, Financial Advisor
7147 Jefferson Hwy • Baton Rouge, LA 70806
(225) 928-8659 • cell 225.328.6900 • www.edwardjones.com
when you file affects how much
your spouse would receive if
you pass away early. In any
case, you’ll want to consult with
the Social Security Administra-
tion about how much your
spouse can receive, as his or PROFESSIONAL • RELIABLE • EXPERIENCED
her own benefits can also affect
your decision-making.
• Myth 3: You can’t work during
retirement and collect Social
Security. Yes, you can. But if
We Can Prepare Your
you start receiving Social
Security before your full
retirement age (likely between
66 and 67), you can only earn
Yard for the New Year.
up to $18,240 in 2020 and still
get your full benefits. Once you
earn more than this, Social
Security deducts $1 from your
benefits for every $2 you earn.
But during the year you reach
full retirement age, you can
earn up to $48,600 without your
benefits being withheld. If you
Call Ryan at 225.715.4594
exceed this amount, $1 will be
deducted for every $3 you earn
during the months before you
attain your full retirement age.
magnolialandscape.us
Social Security will increase
your benefits when you do
reach full retirement age to
adjust for the previous work-
related withholdings. So, if you
plan on working and receiving
Prairieville, La 70769
Social Security, it may not make
sense to file if most of your
benefits will be withheld. Once
you reach full retirement age,
you can earn any amount
without losing your monthly
benefits, although your benefits
could still be taxed.
Myth #4: Social Security will
provide for all my needs in
retirement. Social Security will
provide about a third of pre-
retirement income, on average,
according to the Social Security
Administration. Consequently,
you’ll probably still need other
sources of retirement income
because Social Security alone
most likely won’t be enough to
meet your needs. So, through-
out your working years,
contribute as much as you can
to your IRA and your 401(k) or
other employer-sponsored
retirement plan. Combining
these income sources with
Social Security can help
improve your chances of
enjoying the retirement lifestyle
you’ve envisioned.
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17

Six social media
marketing trends you
can’t ignore
by Orhan Mc Millan
dezinsINTERACTIVE
As we’ve seen over the past decade,
social media has not only endured
but evolved to become one of the
most effective marketing tools. In
order to stand out on social media,
you’ll have to step up your game.
To help keep you up to speed, we’ve
compiled a list of six social media
marketing trends you just can’t
ignore this year.
Video
Cisco predicted that video will
greatly outperform all other online
mediums in the coming years and
the data already shows it. Studies
have found that social video
generates 1200% more shares than
photos and text combined and, on
top of that, they’ve found that 72%
of customers would rather learn
about a new product or service
through video.
Influencer marketing
Influencers aren’t going away
anytime soon. Consumers place
more trust in individual people than
brands, even if their relationship is
strictly online. A recent study
conducted by Influencer
MarketingHub found that businesses
are making $5.20 for every $1 spent
on influencer marketing. You can’t
pass that up.
Social commerce
Social media and e-commerce have
been overlapping for years, but in
2020, this merge is expected to go
18
mainstream. Gen Z spends more
than double the time shopping on
social media than the average
consumer, most of which is done
on Instagram and Snapchat, where
influencers are driving the market.
Additionally, 87% of online shoppers
credit social media for helping them
with purchasing decisions. To make
the most of this, give consumers the
option to buy products without
leaving the platform they’re using.
Instagram, Facebook &
Snapchat stories
This format is photo and video-
heavy, and light on text. What was
once thought to be a fad has
become one of the fastest-growing
social mediums. As an added bonus,
Instagram’s algorithms favor those
who regularly post to their story.
Chatbots
Does your website have a chatbot?
It should. Bots are often smarter,
quicker and more effective than
other software. 90% of businesses
report faster complaint resolution
with chatbots than with other
methods. Additionally, chatbots can
save 30% on customer support
costs. If you still need convincing,
more than half of consumers would
prefer to message companies than
call customer service.
Don’t overwhelm
Despite all of the trends we have
discussed, studies show that fewer
people will use social media this
year than in years previous. Many
users are cutting back on their
social media usage for a multitude
of reasons, including; trust issues
and privacy concerns, feeling ad-
dicted, or that their mental health
has been negatively impacted. Keep
this in mind as you craft posts and
captions; your strategies may need
to change as to not overwhelm
people and drive them away.
For more information on these
trends, or if you’d like to discuss
ways our social media team can
partner with your company, please
call us at 225-615-8358 or
shoot us an email at
info@dezinsinteractive.com.
 YOUR ESTATE MATTERS
By Linda Melancon
A Gift for Your
Loved Ones
It’s that time again. February is
not only time for Mardi Gras and
Valentine’s Day, but it is also
National Heart Month. While we
all examine our own heart health
this month and shower our loved
ones with candy and flowers, what
else can we do for them that
comes from the heart? Planning
for your future and that of your
family is one of the most loving
gifts you can give them. Making
sure they are taken care of and are
able to transition smoothly should
something happen to you is a
thoughtful gesture from the heart
that will benefit your loved ones
for years to come. Whether you
already have a plan in place or
haven’t thought about it yet, it’s
important to establish goals and
make arrangements for the future.
A good place to start is a will.
Some people wonder if they really
need to have a will. It is always
important to plan for what you
want to happen to your estate
should something happen to you.
If all of your children are grown
and supporting themselves, you
may want to make sure your
surviving spouse can have the
freedom to live in the family home
and provide for their needs. A will
can leave all or most of your
property to your surviving spouse
so that they can maintain their
lifestyle without worry.
Another important consideration
is what you want should you
become ill or incapacitated. You
may want to consider having a
power of attorney to appoint an
agent to handle your affairs should
this happen. You may also want to
sign a living will so that your loved
ones can carry out your wishes
concerning the level of medical
care you wish to receive if you
become incapable of making your
own decisions concerning artificial
life support. These decisions
should be discussed with your
loved ones and made now, while
you are healthy and mindful.
While it is hard to think about
It’s time to prepare for this years growing season!
such situations, you can be
much more secure and
comfortable knowing your
wishes will be carried out
should something happen.
It is also a good idea to plan ahead
for your long term care. Will you
or your family be able to afford to
care for you should you have a
long term illness? It might be a
good idea to create a family trust.
You can place your assets in a trust
where they will be protected from
creditors should such expenses
arise. Also, if your assets are in
BEFORE AFTER
trust and not owned directly by
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19
 T-BONE STEAK RED BEANS AND RICE CHALLENGE SUPPER
The annual T-Bone Steak
Red Beans and Rice
Challenge Supper was held at
the KC Hall on Black Bayou
Rd. Spirits were high and
baggering was constant. East
Ascension suppoerters sit and
wait to be fed steak and St
Amant supporters are in the
kitchen cooking the steaks.
It all started 29 years ago
when the enthusiastic Jay
Patterson, an ardent East
Ascension Spartan supporter
made a bet with Fritz Englade,
a staunch St. Amant Gator
supporter that whoever lost the
E.A./S.A. game would treat the
winner to a steak dinner.
A discussion went back and
forth and it was decided that
Fritz Englade would select 25
St. Amant supporters and Jay
Patterson would select 25
East Ascension supporters.
A supper would be held with
the losing team paying for the
entire affair and serving
T-Bone steaks to the winners,
with the losers eating red
beans and rice.
This event has carried on for
31 years and of course, during
the dinner the razzing and
teasing gets louder by each
group. The coaches from each
team are also present. The
losing coaches and captain
serve the winning coaches and
captain the steaks. You can
imagine a great deal of fun
and teasing takes place
while this is done.
After Jay Patterson passed
away Sam Speligene was
team captain for several years.
When Sam resigned Bret
Hughes decided to pick up
the chairmanship for East
Ascension.
The event is normally held a
few weeks after the game
however, due to various
scheduling problems the event
has held last week. Needless
to say a lot of fun and com-
radarie is held during the
event.
The rivaly between these two
teams and the fans is a unique
one. Almost all the families
have close friends, family and
relatives on the opposing
team; consequently, there is a
21
lot of fun and sharing between After all these years the series
the two teams – except the day is tied 20 to 20 and of course
of the game at which time the this rivalry is getting bigger and
rivalry becomes more intense. better than ever.
Monthly Television Shows
Showcasing Cooking Events,
Fishing Rodeos and Festivals
from South Louisiana.
Get Results by Reaching
200,000 customers a Month!
Commercials are very reasonable
and reach 38 parishes
Eatel: Channel 4 and 1004
Sunday 1pm, Tuesday 6:30pm
Cox: KPBN Pelican broadcasting Network
Sunday 7 pm, Tuesday 7 pm, Friday 6:30 pm
Baton Rouge Channel 113, 713, 1013
New Orleans Channel 116
Lafayette Channel 713 and 1013
AT&T Uverse: Channel 11
Sunday 7 pm, Tuesday 7 pm, Friday 6:30 pm
Allen’s Cable: Channel 7 KWBJ
Saturday 6:30 pm
Live Internet Streaming: www.pelicansportstv.com
Sunday 7pm, Tuesday 7pm, Friday 6:30pm
Also on free antenna TV:14.1
For more information call 225-328-6735
or Email cajunlivinncookin@yahoo.com
 two or at a friendship table for
six. Door prizes, silent auction
items, photo booth and
photographer available.
Doors open at 6:15 p.m. with
dinner served shortly after.
Feb. 22 - Avery Michaels &
Exit 209 Country Show -
$15 per person or $25 per
married couple. Show at 7,
doors open at 6 p.m.
I am attaching a few photos
If you have any questions, that you might be able to use if
please do not hesitate to call you have room to run a short
Linda Gardner, Director at the article.
museum at 318 757 4297
(W-F, 9 to 4) or on my cell Come and
at 225 933 2300. Have a
Good Time

March 14 - Debby Campbell,

Hopefully, you will be able to
Tribute to Glen Campbell -
put a short article about our
Show at 6:30 p.m. Pre-selling
wonderful museum that is only
tickets by calling 318 757 4297
a short drive from Ascension
at $20 for general admission,
parish. We have lots of great
$25 for reserved seats, or $30
live music events coming to
for reserved seats with a "meet
our Arcade Theatre. The Delta
and greet" immediatley after
Music Museum is open
show.
Wednesday through Friday
from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. for
March 28 - Avery Michaels &
folks to learn about the famous
Exit 209 Country Show -
cousins from Ferriday and
Same prices as listed
other artists with ties to Baton
for Feb. 22.
Rouge, New Orleans and
more. The famous cousins
April 4 - Marty Haggard, Trib-
include Jerry Lee Lewis,
ute to Merle Haggard -
Mickey Gilley and Jimmy
Ticket info found online at
Swaggart. Other inductees
www.deltamusicmuseum.com/
include Aaron Neville, Fats
events
Domino, Pete Fountain, Irma
Thomas and more. The
April 11 - Jesse Dale Middle-
museum is free to tour but we
ton Country Show - $15 per
greatly appreciate donations.
person or $25 per married
couple. Show at 7, doors open
Our calendar of events through
at 6 p.m.
mid April include the following:
April 24 - Andy Meadows
Feb. 14 - Serenades at the
sponsored by Concordia
Arcade - Butch King will
Parish Library - Free show.
provide songs from the 60's,
70's and more with a catered
April 25 - Avery Michaels &
dinner, long stem red rose for
Exit 209 Country Show -
the spouse, sit at a table for
Same as listed above.
It’s Time to get your Pots, Paddles and Seasoning Ready!
LSU BASEBALL 2020
By Bill Franques, LSU Sports Information ... Photos provided by LSU Athletics

The LSU baseball team held
its annual Media Day activities
and opened preseason
practice on a sunny Friday
afternoon in Alex Box Stadium,
Skip Bertman Field.
LSU, ranked No. 11 in
preseason polls, opens the
season at 7 p.m. CT on Friday,
February 14, when the Tigers
play host to Indiana in Alex
Box Stadium, Skip Bertman
Field.
LSU coach Paul Mainieri, who
led the Tigers to the 2009
College World Series title,
enters his 14th season in
Baton Rouge eager for the
challenges the 2020 season
will present. Mainieri has
directed LSU to five CWS
appearances and nine NCAA
Tournament National Seeds
over the past 13 seasons, and
the Tigers have won four SEC
regular-season championships

2020 LSU Baseball Schedule (All times are central and subject to change)
FEBRUARY
14 (Fri.) INDIANA 7 p.m. SEC Network +
15 (Sat.) INDIANA 3 p.m. SEC Network +
16 (Sun.) INDIANA 12 p.m. SEC Network +
18 (Tue.) SOUTHERN 5 p.m. SEC Network +
19 (Wed.) at Nicholls 6 p.m. Cox Sports Television
21 (Fri.) EASTERN KENTUCKY 7 p.m. SEC Network +
22 (Sat.) EASTERN KENTUCKY 3 p.m. SEC Network +
23 (Sun.) EASTERN KENTUCKY 11 a.m. SEC Network +
26 (Wed.) LOUISIANA TECH 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
28 (Fri.) Texas # 7 p.m. AT&T SportsNet
29 (Sat.) Baylor # 3 p.m. AT&T SportsNet
MARCH
1 (Sun.) Oklahoma # 11 a.m. AT&T SportsNet
3 (Tue.) SOUTHEASTERN LOUISIANA 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
4 (Wed.) GRAMBLING 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
6 (Fri.) UMASS LOWELL 7 p.m. SEC Network +
7 (Sat.) UMASS LOWELL 4 p.m. SEC Network +
8 (Sun.) UMASS LOWELL 2 p.m. SEC Network +
11 (Wed.) SOUTH ALABAMA 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
13 (Fri.) at Ole Miss 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
14 (Sat.) at Ole Miss 1:30 p.m. SEC Network +
15 (Sun.) at Ole Miss 1:30 p.m. SEC Network +
18 (Wed.) ST. THOMAS (FLA.) 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
20 (Fri.) MISSISSIPPI STATE 7 p.m. SEC Network
21 (Sat.) MISSISSIPPI STATE 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
22 (Sun.) MISSISSIPPI STATE 2 p.m. SEC Network
24 (Tue.) TULANE * 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
26 (Thu.) at Tennessee 6:30 p.m. ESPNU
27 (Fri.) at Tennessee 5:30 p.m. SEC Network +
28 (Sat.) at Tennessee 1 p.m. SEC Network +
31 (Tue.) UL-MONROE 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
APRIL
2 (Thu.) VANDERBILT 6 p.m. SEC Network
3 (Fri.) VANDERBILT 7:30 p.m. SEC Network
4 (Sat.) VANDERBILT 3 p.m. ESPNU
 and six conference tournament
titles in that span.
"I'm excited about our team
this year," Mainieri said, "we
have a lot of great kids and a
lot of young kids and a veteran
pitching staff. It hasn't been
often in the 14 years I have
been here where there are so
many unknowns about a team
as we have this year with our
position players. However, our
pitching staff is a veteran staff;
we have 16 pitchers on the
team, and we only have three
new pitchers, so 13 guys are
veterans."
The pitching staff features 11
Tigers who recorded innings
last season, including three
weekend starters – right-
handers Cole Henry, Landon
Marceaux and Eric Walker.
Right-hander Devin Fontenot,
who posted seven saves in
2019, and right-hander
Matthew Beck, who was 3-0
with a 2.05 ERA last season,
are back to lead the LSU
bullpen.
Right-hander Jaden Hill, who
began 2019 as a weekend
starter but suffered an early
season-ending injury, will
return to the mound this
season, along with
experienced right-handers
AJ Labas, Ma'Khail Hilliard and
Trent Vietmeier. Left-handed
pitchers Jacob Hasty and
Brandon Kaminer are
newcomers that will bolster
the staff.
"While we are trying to figure
out the right combination and
put the pieces of the puzzle
together in our batting order,"
said Mainieri, who is in his 38th
season as a collegiate head
coach and ranks No. 2 on the
NCAA Division I wins list for
active coaches with 1,455
victories. "I think our pitching
staff is going to be at a level
that allows us to win games
even while we are learning

7 (Tue.) UL-LAFAYETTE 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
9 (Thu.) at Kentucky 5:30 p.m. SEC Network +
10 (Fri.) at Kentucky 5:30 p.m. SEC Network +
11 (Sat.) at Kentucky 1 p.m. SEC Network +
14 (Tue.) McNEESE STATE 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
17 (Fri.) ARKANSAS 7 p.m. SEC Network +
18 (Sat.) ARKANSAS 8 p.m. ESPNU
19 (Sun.) ARKANSAS 2 p.m. SEC Network +
21 (Tue.) LAMAR 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
24 (Fri.) SOUTH CAROLINA 7 p.m. SEC Network +
25 (Sat.) SOUTH CAROLINA 5 p.m. ESPNU
26 (Sun.) SOUTH CAROLINA 2 p.m. SEC Network +
28 (Tue.) NORTHWESTERN STATE
6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
MAY
1 (Fri.) at Texas A&M 7:30 p.m. SEC Network
2 (Sat.) at Texas A&M 6 p.m. SEC Network
3 (Sun.) at Texas A&M 4 p.m. ESPNU
8 (Fri.) ALABAMA 7 p.m. SEC Network +
9 (Sat.) ALABAMA 6:30 p.m. SEC Network +
10 (Sun.) ALABAMA 2 p.m. SEC Network +
12 (Tue.) NEW ORLEANS 6:30 p.m. SEC Network
+ (Minute Maid Park – Houston, Texas)
14 (Thu.) at Auburn 6 p.m. SEC Network +
15 (Fri.) at Auburn 6 p.m. SEC Network +
16 (Sat.) at Auburn 3:30 p.m. ESPNU
19-24 (Tue.-Sun.) SEC Tournament Hoover, Ala. SEC Network/ESPN 2
May 29-31/June 1 NCAA Regional Sites TBA TBA – ESPN Networks
June 5-7/6-8 NCAA Super Regional Sites TBA TBA – ESPN Networks
June 13-23/24 College World Series Omaha, Neb. TBA – ESPN Networks
* – Wally Pontiff Jr. Foundation Classic (Alex Box Stadium,
Skip Bertman Field – Baton Rouge, La.)
# – Shriners Hospitals for Children College Classic
 us in the past."
A J Labas
LSU returns five position
players who started at least
half of LSU's 66 games in
2019, including outfielder
Daniel Cabrera, catcher Saul
Garza, first baseman Cade
Beloso, outfielder Giovanni
DiGiacomo and infielder
Hal Hughes.
Other returning veterans who
filled part-time starting roles
Landon Marceaux
last season are first
baseman/outfielder CJ Willis,
infielder Gavin Dugas and
outfielder Drew Bianco.
The Tigers' talented class
of newcomers includes
10 position players, and it
contains four players that have
been chosen in an MLB Draft –
infielders Zach Arnold, Zack
Mathis and Cade Doughty, and
outfielder Mo Hampton Jr.
"We have a lot of
new position
Eric Walker
players that complement our
veteran players," Mainieri said.
"I'm still waiting to see which
players are going to rise above
others and make a statement
that they should be starting
players. As we went through
fall practice, all of them
showed great things, just not
consistently. These next three
weeks are going to be
interesting to see. Even after
the season begins, there is
going to be some fluidity to
our lineup."

about our team.

"One of the keys for us, as last

year proved to be true, is our
ability to keep the guys
healthy. Rather than push a
starter to work an extra inning,
it's a good feeling knowing we
can go to the bullpen and bring
in a guy that is a veteran
pitcher and has pitched well for

Jamie Frederic-Braud

26
 else was. My personal
congratulations goes to Coach
(Orgeron) and to the football
team. We had a player on the
football team, Mo Hampton. I
met with our team the day after
the National Championship, on
Tuesday. We were allowed to
have a team meeting, but not
practice until Wednesday. As I
stood there addressing my
team for the first time, it almost
didn't feel like baseball season.
There was just such a euphoric
feeling from what the football
team did this fall. It has been
an amazing year so far if you "I'm excited about our team
LSU Head
Baseball Coach
Hal Hughes
Paul Mainieri
Opening Statement…
"It's so great to be back and
get ready for the start of the
season. What a year it has
been. More than anything, I am
a college football fan and an
LSU football fan, so I was
getting just as much enjoyment
out of the season as everyone
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look at basketball, undefeated
in the SEC. Women's
basketball is having a
phenomenal year. Gymnastics
is undefeated and ranked
second in the country. We
have a pretty good softball
team, I know Beth (Torina) is
excited about her team this
year. Across the board, LSU
athletics has never been
stronger. It is exciting to be
around here. Now it's time for
the baseball program to uphold
its end of it as well.
this year. We have a lot
of great kids and a lot of
young kids and a veteran
pitching staff. There are a
lot of things that make us
excited about this year. It
hasn't been often in the
14 years I have been Cole Henry
here where I stood in
front of everyone and
there are so many We only have three new
unknowns about a team pitchers, so 13 guys are
as we have this year with veterans. It just so happens
our position players. Our the three new guys are
pitching staff is a veteran left-handers. We are excited
pitching staff. We have about adding some left-handed
16 pitchers on the team. pitching to the staff.
HWY 30
2304
BURNSIDE
S. Burnside Ave.
X
Ste. 2
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Monday - Friday 7am - 5pm

"When you look at the position
players, obviously we lost
three major players last year in
Josh Smith, Zach Watson and
Antoine Duplantis. Filling those
holes is going to be huge. We
have a lot of new guys and a
lot of new position players. I
am still waiting to see which
players are going to rise above
others and make a statement
that they should be starting
players. As we went through
fall practice, all of them
showed great things, just not
consistently. These next three
weeks are going to be
interesting to see. Even after
the season begins, there is
going to be some fluidity to our
lineup. I don't think the lineup
we start with on Opening Day
is going to be the same for 56
games and the National
Championship. There are
going to be different
opportunities for different guys
throughout the year. While we
are trying to figure out the right
combination and put the pieces
Jaden Hill
of the puzzle together in our
lineup, I think our pitching staff
is going to be at a level that
allows us to win games even
while we are learning about
our team."
On replacing Josh
Smith as a leader in
the infield…
"Our infield is the most i
nexperienced group we have
out there. We only have one
returning infielder from last
year's team and that is Hal
Hughes. Hal, of course, is a
fine defensive player. He is a
pretty steady shortstop and
makes the routine play for us.
On a given day if that's what
we need is a shortstop to make
some plays for us and have
some scrappy at-bats, then
Hall will be the guy. When I
think of a replacement for
Josh, even though it's a
different
position, I
Cade Beloso
think (third
baseman)
28
For the second and third spots,
I think it is a battle between AJ
Labas, Landon Marceaux and
Eric Walker."
On Daniel Cabrera as a
leader of the team…
"He doesn't really have a
choice. We don't have that
many veteran position players.
Daniel is the most talented one
we have. I think he just knows
the responsibility. I let the
player who wears (jersey)
number eight decide on who to
give it to. When Antoine
(Duplantis) wanted to give it to
Daniel Cabrera, I asked Daniel
how he would feel about that
because there is a responsibil-
ity of leadership. I was really
Zack Mathis has those happy with his response. He
qualities of a real leader." wanted the number eight and
embraces that responsibility."
On guys competing for
On the bullpen…
a spot in the weekend
rotation… "As far as the bullpen goes, we
"I am pretty sure Cole Henry
have some veterans that have
pitched some good baseball
will be our Friday night starter.
for us. Ma'Khail Hilliard, Trent
He has the capability to be one
of those spe-
cial guys we Saul Garza
have had
around here. I
think he is
going to con-
tinue to im-
prove as the
year goes on.
I think you are
talking about a
kid that is po-
tentially a first-
round draft
choice and an
All-American
caliber pitcher.
Vietmeier, Matthew Beck,
Devin Fontenot, these guys
are good pitchers. They all
have rough moments, but they
have done some outstanding
things for us. One of the keys
for us, as last year proved to
be true, is our ability to keep
the guys healthy. Rather than
push a starter to work an extra
inning, it's a good feeling
knowing we can go to the
bullpen and bring in a guy that
is a veteran pitcher and has
pitched well for us in the past."
29
The Ten Commandments of Mardi Gras
Once upon a time when the
world was in a total state of
confusion and there were no
government bailouts, a guy named
Moses went up to a local mountain
top and came down with the Ten
Commandments-guaranteed to
improve your life here and now
and in the hereafter.
Well, once a year in New
Orleans, the world returns to that
aforementioned state of confusion
with lots of lost souls in search
of guidance.
And so, as a public service
to you my faithful readers,
Ascension Magazine feels a moral
obligation to publish the Ten
Commandments of Mardi Gras-
handed down by Mac Rebennack,
better known as Dr. John the Nite
Tripper, when he came down from
the roof of Tipitina’s one night.
These may not save your soul but
they have saved my life a few times
during the Carnival season.
Pronouns such as “thee” and
“thou” have been translated into
local slang which brings us to the
first commandment…
I in that unmistakable native accent,
LEARN TO SPEAK THE
LANGUAGE SOME
First and foremost, it’s not New
Or-leans with the accent on the last
syllable and rhyming with “jeans”
no matter how many old songs
that you listen to.
It’s Noo Awlins. And if you want
to greet someone in Noo Awlins,
you certainly don’t say something
foolish like, “How do you do?”
The correct form of address is
“Where y’at, Tony!” even if the
person’s name is not Tony. In
formal conversations, you should
adjust to “Where y’at, Antony!”
being careful to leave out the “h”.
Omitting the “h” from “ninth
ward” is also acceptable as is
ordering raw “eysters” down at
Felix’s. Tourists should carry a
copy of “A Confederacy of
Dunces” for further translations
and catch phrases.
II
DON’T CATCH FOOT IN
MOUTH DISEASE
This one comes courtesy of my
personal experience files.
While battling two rather large
women-oh, what the hell, they’ll
never read this-make that obese
trolls for worthless trinkets one
Carnival, I took more licks than an
all-day sucker as the tag team of
tanks took turns battering my then
bone-thin body.
Finally, I beat a retreat to the
edge of the crowd hoping my
Dutchtown letterman’s jacket was
not torn to shreds. Suddenly, a
deep voice on the side of me asked
“Hey, bro. What’s that ‘D’ stand
for? De La Salle?”
The booming voice came from a
giant in a Holy Cross jacket with
more stripes for football and
wrestling letters than one would
find in the zebra pen at the
Audubon Zoo. Add to that fact
that his sidekick was an exact clone
with a similar jacket and perhaps
you’ll understand why I chose a
New Orleans response.
“Yeah. De La Salle,” I mumbled.
Wrong choice.
“Boy, we kicked you ‘Salley
Dollies’ all over City Park last year,
didn’t we, Tony?” gloated Monster
number one.
“Yeah you right, Antony,” laughed
Monster number two.
Blame it on the beer. Blame it on
my country boy-can-survive
upbringing. Blame it on the bossa
nova. But I just couldn’t leave well
enough alone.
“Yeah, well I got hit harder by
those two tush-hogs up by the
floats than I did in the entire Holy
Cross game,” I sneered.
“Wait a minute,” huffed Tony,
“which two broads you talkin’
30
‘bout?”
“Those two,” I pointed out.
“Bertha and Betty. The Butt sis-
ters.”
“Dose are our girlfriends,” roared
Antony and the pair started after
me probably thinking they’d each
grab a leg and make a wish.
Fortunately, there was a break in
the parade and I lost them by
racing through the Fortier Tarpon
Marching Band to the other side of
the street. As I caught my breath,
I remembered a rule Randall told
me they used in Viet Nam-“Get in
the middle and keep quiet.”
III
DON’T TOUCH THE COPS’
HORSES AND DON’T SIT
ON THEIR CARS
Those horses wouldn’t spook if
you detonated a nuclear device at
their feet. I’ve seen people throw
cherry bombs, silver salutes and
Molotov cocktails at those horse
and the nags never even flinched.
All you’ll accomplish is giving one
of New Orleans’s finest a case of
the redass and then your evening
will become a night-mare.
The worst I’ve ever seen a guy get
beaten in New Orleans was because
he didn’t follow the second section
of this commandment. A pair of
cops approached him and asked
him to get off the police car.
Twice! When he refused, the men
in blue pulled him into an alley and
played a passable version of “South
Rampart Street Parade” with their
nightsticks on and about his
body parts.
Remember-those guys are already
edgy and working 16-hour shifts.
by Bill Delaune
If they tell you to move and the
crowd won’t let you-mark time.
IV
KEEP ABREAST OF THE
CROWD-DON’T KEEP A
CROWD WITH YOUR
BREAST
Self-explanatory.
V
DON’T START DRINKING
TOO EARLY
One year my friend Tinker-yes the
one who led our band called
“Tinker and the Bells”- decided it
was time “to get down to some
serious drinking.”
Now I’m not sure what kind of
drinking we had done in the
French Quarter the night before
but my head was hurting so bad
that I couldn’t open my eyes.
“Not a problem,” said Dr. Tinker,
“I was in the same fix just a few
short minutes ago. But then I
discovered this secret elixir. I’m
telling you-this stuff would raise
Lazarus from the dead.”
And so that is how, on one Mardi
Gras morning long, long ago, four
grown men-so hung over that their
eyes hurt-got their first taste of
vodka, Boone’s Farm apple wine
and Visine. (“I didn’t know you
were supposed to put the Visine in
your eyes,” Tinker later admitted.)
I think back then we might have
been that wrong crowd your
mother warned you about.
 VI
REMEMBER WHERE YOU
PARKED YOUR CAR AND
WHAT HAPPENED TO
CINERELLA
After attending Mardi Gras so
many times, you begin to think
your vast experience is going to
give you an edge. Just remember-
the gods like confidence, they
don’t like cocky.
We were so smart. We parked our
car on the West Bank and took the
ferry across the river to the foot of
Canal Street. Everyone congratu-
lated Canton on such a wonderful
idea. No traffic. No parking
hassles. We hit the streets running
and partied into the wee hours.
There was only one small problem.
The last ferry from the East Side
departed at midnight and we
arrived at the landing area some
time between three and daybreak.
Just like those two star-crossed
Indian lovers Running Bear and
Little White Dove, the raging
river separated us from our car
beckoning to us in the moonlight
across the way.
If you’ve ever wondered how
you would get to the West Bank
from Canal Street at four in the
morning, well I’m here to tell you.
You take the Algiers Loop bus.
And do you know who rides the
Algiers Loop bus at that hour-with
the exception of some dumb,
drunk honkies who left their car
somewhere over the river? Why
every gypsy, tramp and thief on
his/her/its way back to a project
named Desire.
The bus driver eyed our group
suspiciously as we got on board.
“Y’all got a gun or a knife on any
of you?” he asked.
“Of course not,” came the curt
reply from one of our more
self-righteous members who had
passed out on the vodka and Visine
concoction earlier in the evening.
“Well, y’all gonna need one or
both if you go back there,” said the
driver motioning toward some
shadowy figures in the back of the
bus. “Y’all better stay up here with
me.”
I practically sat in his lap all the
way across the bridge.
VII
DA WEST SIDE’S DA
BEST SIDE
The last horror story notwithstand-
ing, there are some great parades
on the West Bank-especially for
those of us at the end of our er-
ratic-and erotic-careers. The
crowds are pleasant, the throws are
plentiful and there’s usually a
bathroom within shouting
distance. Just remember
Commandment II and don’t ask
a lot of questions.
Hollywood has tried in vain to
capture the true New Orleans
accent but there is a scene in the
movie “No Mercy” where a typical
Westsider pretty much sums up the
feelings of the area. If you were
one of the few that didn’t go to
that flick just to see Kim Bassinger
slosh through the swamp in a wet
shirt, then you may recall the scene
where detective Richard Gere starts
snooping around on the West
Bank.
Finally, one of the natives informs
the star in classic Yat, “You start
asking questions in Algiers, Baby,
and dey’ll cut your @#$%^&*()
tongue out.”
Amen to that.
VIII
MAKE A SIGN FOR A BEADS
BONANZA
People on floats love signs. Signs
give them a chance to show how
accurately they can throw and
hit a target and you can be the
beneficiary if you’re creative and
clever enough.
Let’s say you’re getting a little
heavy to climb up on your old
man’s shoulders these days but you
still want to reap the benefits of
Carnival throws. Back off from the
maddening crowd and make a
sign-ideally one that will inspire
love or-even better-hate from the
float riders.
My friend Buzzy, who now lives in
Key West where it’s Mardi Gras
every day, was the king of sign
makers during the 90’s. His
picture of Saddam Hussein with
the inscription “Scud Me” drew
violent reactions-and tons of
beads-during the Gulf War.
His sign depicting Dorothy
Mae Taylor, the New Orleans
councilwoman who wanted to do
away with Mardi Gras, drew a
similar response the following year.
Not nearly as successful was a
poster featuring the Clintons as
one big happy First Family in
1998. Buzzy later told me he
thought he’d figured out
the problem.
“Most people didn’t get it because
they couldn’t distinguish Chelsea
Clinton from Socks the Cat,” he
explained.
IX
LOCATE PROSPECTIVE
RESTROOM FACILITIES AS
EARLY AS POSSIBLE
“Find the euphemism,” Dr. Seuss
31
might have put it. Anyway, if
you’re not lucky enough to have a
friend’s house or apartment nearby,
you need to have a plan because in
most cases the local song about
“There Ain’t No Place To Pee on
Mardi Gras Day” is painfully
accurate.
At the aforementioned debacle
at the ferry landing (See
Commandment VI.), a couple of
us began to feel the need.
Thinking we couldn’t possibly
pollute the river any worse than it
already was in New Orleans, we
began to relieve ourselves in the
dark off the upraised ferry dock.
That’s when we noticed a boat
directly below our mainstream
attack. Gradually, as the waves
turned the boat into the
moonlight, we could make
out the writing on the side-“New
Orleans Police River Patrol.”
Simultaneously, a voice boomed
from the darkness behind us, “Just
what do y’all think you’re doing?”
The zip of the zippers, the flash of
a badge and we were in trouble
once again. But when we
explained our dilemma and the
cop realized we would have to ride
the Algiers Loop bus to get back
from whence we came, he just
laughed and mumbled something
about that being worse
punishment than be locked up
in the First Precinct Jail.
Who knows? I might have met
Mister Bojangles in that cell and
become Jerry Jeff Walker. Or I
could have at least penned a tale to
rival Arlo Guthrie’s classic “Alice’s
Restaurant”. There’s no telling
what kind of exposure I could
have gotten from a little
indecent exposure.
X parade was still an hour away.
LEAVE YOUR GOOD
CLOTHES AT HOME
The day after my brush with death
the hands of Holy Cross and Holy
Crosser (See Commandment II.), I
swore off chasing after beads and
fighting over doubloons.
I put on a new pair of Levis,
hooked a six-pack to my belt the
way I’d seen my back-Galvez
friends do and stationed myself at
the very rear of the mob preparing
to watch thousands make complete
fools of themselves at the Sunday
afternoon Mid City Parade.
The first float was not even in sight
yet when this convertible came
cruising by with one flashy dude
sitting on top of the back seat. He
had no beads but he was waving
one crummy doubloon at the
crowd like he had received it from
Jean Lafitte himself.
“That’s the king’s doubloon,” I
heard one lady tell her daughter.
Big deal. I didn’t care if it was part
of King Solomon’s jewels, I wasn’t
playing that stupid game anymore.
But that’s when Fate decided to
throw me a curve. With people
crowding around his car and
begging for the coin, the king
spotted me in the back. His
majesty looked me right in the eye
and motioned as if to throw. Well,
I thought, if he’s going to single
me out, I might as well catch the
damn thing. And with that, the
king sailed the treasured doubloon
right to me.
At first, I thought I wouldn’t have
to move a step. But then my old
outfielder’s instincts honed on
Sunday afternoons at the
Prairieville Ballpark told me I’d
have to take a couple of steps to
the right and backhand it.
Then a gust of wind caught the
silver circle and kept it airborne
longer than I had anticipated.
Now I’m in a full sprint and it’s
going to be a Willie Mays over-the-
shoulder catch. Despite keeping
my eye on the prize, I also became
faintly aware of a small black kid
roughly the size of Webster
matching me stride for stride. I
glanced back and saw the dou-
bloon floating gently toward my
outstretched fingers. Flaunting
my two-foot height advantage,
I reached up…
That’s when I fell off the curb.
As I lay in the gutter, a burst
six-pack of beer foaming and
gurgling around me, there were a
few things that were painfully
obvious. First of all, I was lying in
a gutter in a puddle of beer at one
o’clock in the afternoon and the
Secondly, Webster had the king’s
doubloon and was grinning at me
like a possum eating grapes.
And if those factors were not bad
enough, my new Levis were torn at
both knees and strawberries that
would have made any Hammond
farmer proud were forming on my
kneecaps.
But the thing I remember most
clearly is the woman with the little
girl shielding her daughter from
me and telling anyone who would
listen, “People like that are the
reason I hate coming to New
Orleans for Mardi Gras.”
You were probably right, ma’am.
But people like that are the reason
I still go back.
Happy Carnival!

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32
Goosie
Jammin’with
Catch and
Shoot-Clean
and Cook
Put your beer in the refrigerator
and hook up your guitar, I’ve
got a good many people
coming tonight for the jam,
were the first words spoken.
Wanting to cool down the
refreshments in a hurry I
opened up the freezer
compartment of the refrigera-
tor but there was no room for
the natty lights. The freezer
was full of filleted sac-au-laits.
Man you need to cook some
of those fish was my reply to
the findings. To my surprise
the owner of the establish-
ment, a long time friend of
mine, said “ I don’t know
how to and my wife doesn’t
cook them because of some
present health problems she
has.” I then said what are you
waiting for, a hurricane to
come and knock out the
power so you can throw them
away and go catch some
more? Why don’t we have a
big fish fry at one of these
music events and use the fish
up? I’ll even help pay and
assist a couple of our buddies
who will be glad to cook them
up for the crowd.
A month or two passed and
before you know it a large
gathering of local musicians
and several spectators were
assembled for a beautiful
evening of music along with
some fantastic fried fish
dining. Two aluminum pans
of Louisiana’s finest fish
afforded twenty five plus
people a meal that day.
Although it’s a very minimal
thing, those twenty plus
people did not have to get
food elsewhere for supper.
Thankfully we live in a great
country but in many ways we
are a spoiled society when it
comes to food waste. Believe
me there’s plenty of people in
this world that has never and
never will have the opportu-
nity to eat a meal like we had
at the jam that night. Only by
the grace of God I was born
in a country whose society is
not threatened, for the most
part, with starvation. I’m very
grateful for that.
It’s always been a priority of
mine, being a hunter and
fisherman, to try in every
reasonable way to utilize all
edible creatures that I take life
from. Our hunting and fishing
is great and it is sometimes
possible to harvest more than
you need. Hunters For the
Hungry is a program where
outdoorsmen can donate part
or all of their harvest to a
designated HFH processor
with no cost to the sports-
man. The game or fish are
then distributed to the needy
in the area of donations via
food banks, soup kitchens,
shelters and other agencies. If
you have more than you want
or need then contact Hunters
for the Hungry concerning
the Freshly Harvested Game
program, or the Clean Out
Your Freezer Day event. This
event usually takes place in
September. Visit their website
for tips on packing your
bounty for donation to our
local food banks.
As I walked away from that
event later that night I felt
that beyond having a wonder-
ful time playing music with
some very good friends of
mine that we had succeeded
in preventing the waste of
such a great Louisiana
resource. Now that freezer
compartment is empty and
ready to be refilled. Hopefully
I’ll be there for the next fish
fry. We’ll see. It takes that guy
a long time to catch that
many fish...
Till Next Time,
Can’t Wait!
James “Goosie“ Guice
 with Kellie
Useless Random Facts
•

Entertainment Schedule
The first World Series was played between Pittsburgh and
Boston in 1903 and was a nine-game series. Boston won the
series 5-3.

Foret Tradition
February 21st
•
There are about 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
atoms in a human body.
•

B Street Benny
February 29th
The National Baseball Hall of Fame & Museum is
located in Cooperstown, N.Y. It was created in 1935 to
celebrate baseball's 100th anniversary.

Brice and Jenna

March 1st
•
In 1912 a law passed in Nebraska where drivers in the

Acoustic
country at night were required to stop every 150 yards,
send up a skyrocket, wait eight minutes for the road to clear
before proceeding cautiously, all the while blowing their

Spank the Monkey

March 13th
horn and shooting off flares.
•
Pete Rose, who played for the Cincinnati Reds and then was
banned from baseball for life for betting on games while
managing the team, holds the all-time record for hits (4,256)
and games played (3,562).
•
Babe Ruth's top salary was $80,000 (in 1930 and 1931).
Adjusted for inflation, that's the equivalent of a little more
than $1.1 million today (a little less than middle reliever
Antonio Bastardo made last year).
•
In his very first at bat as a 28-year-old rookie pitcher,
Hall of Famer Hoyt Wilhelm hit a home run. His career
lasted for 21 more years and 493 plate appearances, but he

Foret Tradition
never hit another home run.
•
This one will drive you crazy! There are castles and even

February 21st
lighthouses that are less expensive than NYC apartments
•
The average person will shed almost 20 kgs (40 lbs.)
of skin in their lifetime.
The average bolt of lightning contains enough energy to www.parkplaceofgonzales.com
toast 100,000 pieces of bread. 1711 S. BURNSIDE • GONZALES • 644-8901
33
 Thoughts from Bully

Super Bowl
Rib-Off
Crowns
First Time
Champion!
I attend and take photos all beautiful sunshiny day thank
across the parish all year long. My God but it was a little cool and
favorite by far is the Super Bowl breezy. Fortunately BBQ pits
Rib-Off. Yes it is sponsored by tend to keep us warm throughout
Ascension Magazine but more the day.
importantly I get to participate. As the pits were fired up at 11
This year we had a great turn new comers and old pros were
out with 15 cooks. full of excitement. Right off the
I’ve bend talking up the bat one the new champion cooks
Rib-Off and challenging
Jambalaya Champion cooks to
come try something different and
they took me up on it. In this
years field of cooking we had
cracklin cooking champions,
Jambalaya cooking champions
and are all outstanding all-around
cooks.
The event started Friday
afternoon when the fire was lite
to cook a 75lb hog over night for
the guest on Saturday to snack on
during the event. Also Cajun
Livin’ N Cookin television show
started filming the beginning of a
show about the event that will
aire in coming months.
It’s Saturday morning and
cooks started arriving. With all
the rain we have had lately the
cooks had to congregate on the
high grounds. This was a

34
wanted to cook more than the
alloted 2 racks and had to be
called down. No demerits were
administered but a warning was
givin.
As I looked across the cooking
field I saw second year champion
Lebo and 2 time champion Luke.
Also Shake is a multiple time
champion and alway a great
contender and if he doesn’t place
35
he wins the liquor award. With
Shake, when the awards are
announced win or lose, he’s still
happy. I reminded everyone I was
the reining champion and
through down the BBQ
challenge, “Come get some
boys!”
As the day moved on the beer
flowed free and hopes were rising.
The anticipation was building as
 the judges made the
announcements. Woody
Woodward came in 3rd,
Shake came in 2nd and first
time ever cooking BBQ ribs
and first time Champion was
Taner Bourque.
Congratulations Taner.
Oh by-the-way I came out
somewhere in the middle of
the pack.
I want send out a big
36
thanks to all the people who
helped make this happen. My
son, Lebo, ran many errands
for me. Stump made the
injection marinade and shot
up the hog for cooking along
with Mike, his brother-in-
law.
Many thanks go out to this
years new cooks. Woody,
Koby, Kyle, Taner, Bart and
Justin. Also thanks go out to
the judges, Danny, Bryan, Hoss
and Wally. How ever since I
didn’t win I may be making some
changes to judges that may take a
bribe.
Also thank you Tanil and
Selena, wives that were concerned
called me to the side. They
noticed that I had put on my
shirt and I had my buttons all
crooked. Like wives do, they
unbuttoned and straighten them
up as I was about to be on
camera with the television show
we were recording. Thanks ladies.
A big thank you goes out to
Adam Gautreau. Adam is a part
of the Cajun Blaze BBQ cooking
team that cook in major events
around the country. Your
knowledge of fire, smoke and
temperatures was impressive. I
learned a great deal. Thanks go
out to the hog, Piggy Sue, for
tasting so good.
Galoot was our youngest cook.
Both he and Lawson have bright
futures cooking. Jeff and Jarred
are always going to be a threat.
Another year has now come
and gone and I can’t wait until
we meet again.
Last but not least many thanks
go to Rodney and Leslie for
filming the event for Cajun Livin’
N Cookin’. Viewing date to be
announced.
Get ready boys for next year.
I’m not even going to practice.

Hey, Dr. Rob!

Thumper keeps
copying me! No... Dr. Rob!
Boudreaux keeps
copying me!

Eric Lambert
Owner

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43
CHRISTIAN BROTHERS SEAFOOD
225.647.4332 • Hwy. 44 • Gonzales
 Cooking Gourmet at Home
Ingredients:

with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS

1 lb Louisiana Crawfish tails (peeled) ¼ cup Mayonnaise
1 cup diced onion 1 tablespoon Creole Mustard
¼ cup diced celery 1 tablespoon Ketchup
¼ cup diced bell pepper 2 teaspoons Horseradish
2 teaspoons minced garlic 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon chopped green onions 4 eggs
½ cup extra virgin olive oil 2 cups panko bread crumbs
1 lemon (juiced) 1 cup bread crumbs
½ cups fresh shredded smoked Gouda
(any cheese you like)
Kosher salt & fresh ground black pepper to taste

Method:
In a large skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of the extra virgin olive oil over medium high heat. When the
oil is hot, add your onions, celery, bell pepper, and minced garlic and cook for 1 minute. Add the
crawfish tails, Worcestershire. Cook for about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, then remove from the
heat and pour into a large mixing bowl.

Crawfish Cakes with Now, add your shredded cheese to the crawfish mixture and season to taste with salt & pepper. Add
the green onions, 2 eggs, and the regular bread crumbs to the crawfish and mix well. At this point
your mixture should be able to hold its shape. (add a little more bread crumbs if not)
Remoulade sauce Form mixture into cakes

In a mixing bowl add the 2 remaining eggs, salt & pepper then whisk. In another small bowl add
the panko bread crumbs
Yield: 8 cakes
In a large skillet, heat the remaining olive oil over medium high heat. While the oil is heating, dip
Prep: 15 minutes each cake into the egg mixture, then the panko bread crumbs. Once your oil is hot, add the cakes
and fry them for about 2-3 minutes on each side. (You can also bake these cakes for a healthier
option- 350 for 10 minutes) Remove the cakes from the hot oil and set them on a plate with
Cook: 10 minutes paper towel to drain.
Executive Chef
Sam Penton In a small bowl combine your mayo, Creole mustard, ketchup, horseradish, and lemon juice.
Serving: 4 Mix well and drizzle over the top of your delicious crawfish cakes ENJOY!!!!!!

45
46
Beads • Throws • Decorations

www.carnivalmart.net
225.248.9720 • 800.229.6054
8986 Florline Blvd., Baton Rouge, LA 70815
e-mail: carnvlmart@aol.com