This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
© Teach the Soul – 2007
Table of Contents Introduction
You have the power to design your life. Designing your life is a process. Nothing magic, just follow the steps
Your core beliefs determine your actions. If you want your circumstances to change, you must change your core beliefs.
Mindset is an established set of attitudes. We need to have an open mindset. A closed mindset will not allow us to expand, grow and accept new things.
Too often we do not reach our goals because we are not totally clear. You must get clear about what you want. Hitting a target requires that we know what we are aiming at.
Learn how to set goals. Learn what a SMART goal is. Set goals that are positive.
Nothing matters unless you take action on your goals. Become a person of action. Aim, fire and adjust.
Fear keeps more people from achieving their goals than lack of skill, education or money. Learn to recognize and overcome fear.
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A common complaint today is lack of time. Everyone seems to be suffering from insufficient time. You can’t manage time. You must learn to schedule, prioritize and manage your projects or tasks. You cannot manage time, you can only manage yourself.
The people that we associate with will always have a direct bearing on the quality of our lives. This is in terms of money and satisfaction. We need to choose our friends very carefully. Although we do not get much choice in who are relatives are, we do have some control over the time we spend and the influence we allow them to have on our lives.
Most people are concerned about money or the lack of money. Yet they do not study money. They really do not understand what money represents.
The most successful people are not necessarily the smartest people. The most successful people are the ones who decided on a particular path in life and stuck to it long enough to become successful.
Designing Your Life is simple and can be reduced to two concepts – Getting clear about what you want and taking focused action toward your goals.
© Teach the Soul – 2007
Then breakdown the goals into individual steps necessary to achieve. Here you will find my recommendations for further study. you can download additional worksheets from WWW. Appendix A Goals Worksheet These are worksheets for helping you breakdown you goals into step by step action plans. designing your life involves constant learning and growing.com © Teach the Soul – 2007 4 . If you are working from a hard copy. get clear on why you want to achieve this goal and the difference achieving this goal will make in your life. Then you need to identify the resources needed and possible sources of obtaining the resources.XXXXYYYZZZ. You need to become a student of life and business. You need to clearly state your goal.Further Study As you will learn from this book.
So by default. You cannot do what everyone else does. What if I told you that you had the power to design whatever life you wanted? How would you feel knowing that you could design whatever lifestyle you wanted? Pretty powerful stuff. If you want to achieve a certain lifestyle. you are going to need to do a lot of things different. You have always had that power. Now here is the part you may not like. If you designed your current life. Here is a very powerful truth. Maybe you just took what came your way. We will go much deeper into this. either by choice or by neglect. Well maybe you did not design it at all. different from the run of the mill. you can design the life you want. Maybe your life has been totally reactive. you must design it. But even then you choose to be reactive rather than proactive. It just does not work that way. but just for now. you designed your current life.Designing Your Life Introduction Are you getting all you want from life? Is your life what you had always hoped and dreamed it would be? If you want to design a life that is special. you actually designed your life as it is now. right? Well the truth is you have that power. realize that you are responsible for your current situation. you must separate yourself from the crowd. You must get © Teach the Soul – 2007 5 . To have an exceptional life. to follow the crowd and expect to have an exceptional life. There is one thing you must understand.
If you were going on a vacation of a lifetime. there is nothing that can hold you back. The first in getting a clear focus on what they want and of course then doing the necessary work. And here is what you certainly would not do. It will not happen by accident. Where do you suggest I go? But that is what so many people do in life. That there is no way to get from where you are to where you would like to be. You would search out all sorts of information about things to do and see. The same is true of life. There is no magic that will make you a rock star. There are two problems that most people face.a clear picture of that lifestyle. you certainly can achieve a very high degree of wealth. You would not show up at the ticket counter of an airline and tell the ticket agent. While I said that you cannot achieve totally unrealistic goals. You must decide on what © Teach the Soul – 2007 6 . I am not about to tell you that you can ever achieve anything that is totally unrealistic. You would find the best deals on flights and hotels. are willing to clearly focus on your goals and do the necessary work. You would ask all your friends if they had any experience or knowledge about your dream location. I going on my vacation of a lifetime. how much time and energy would go into the planning the vacation? Quite a lot. your ideal life mate and a life filled with purpose. You cannot expect to achieve your dream lifestyle simply by drifting along and taking life as it comes. But if you have average intelligence. a standout movie star or a professional athlete. They go off on life’s journey with very little planning. Now I know very well what you may be thinking. For you to have the desired results on your ideal vacation requires a lot of planning.
Achieving happiness is not designing a lifestyle. One of the best ways to get clear about the life you want is describe it in writing in great detail. For now. Getting clear You will need to be very clear about the life you want to design. If you want to change your circumstances. Open mindset You must be open to doing things differently. This is the vision you have for your life. Your actions. This will outline how you bring your vision into reality. you must change your belief system. Your core values and beliefs This is what determines your actions. You really need to get very clear. Here is an overview of what we will cover. allowing you to look at life from a different perspective. based on your belief system. If you cannot accept new ideas and embrace change. you will not be able to change your belief system.you want. Based on your core values and core beliefs. This cannot be a mere wish. © Teach the Soul – 2007 7 . We will go into the specifics of setting goals. You will also be asked to develop a mission statement. You will continue doing the same things you have always done and you will get the same lifestyle you currently have. You must have an open mindset. you should develop a vision statement. determine your circumstances. I just want to give you an overview of all that is involved.
Achieving happiness is much too vague. What constitutes happiness? You will need to get clear about what you truly want in life. Getting clear demands that you get very specific. You cannot want a good job. Your subconscious mind cannot focus on a good job. You will need to be very specific about just what constitutes a good job. And you will need to be specific about what you truly want in each area of your life. Setting Goals Here we will work on what constitutes SMART goals. You will need to develop goals in all areas of your life. You may think that only your income needs improvement. But your life is not just your job or your income. You need to have balance in your life. Otherwise you will be like a car with a flat tire. The ride will be bumpy.
Taking action When all is said and done, it does not matter how much you know, how clear you are or how solid your belief system. Unless you take focused action, all it for naught. The results you want in life can only be achieved with focused action. There are generally two reasons that people do not take focused action. One is they are not quite sure where to start or exactly how to do what they are supposed to do. The other reason, the big one, is fear. We will address both of these roadblocks.
© Teach the Soul – 2007
Overcoming fear We all have a built in mechanism that causes us to fear the unknown. Almost everyday we hear about people that won’t get out of their comfort zone. The truth is we all experience some degree of fear when we encounter the unknown. And as we have seen, if you want to be successful in designing your life, you will need to do some things different. You will have to venture into some areas that will be new to you. You will experience some fear. It is normal. Accept it. But do not let it stop you or keep you from reaching your potential. We will explore different ways to deal with fear. Time Here is one place in life where we are all truly equal. At least in the amount of time we have. No one gets a break here. We all have twenty-four per day. Yet some people seem to get things done with ease while others are always in a panic, behind schedule and rushing around. We must learn to schedule our activities, prioritize and then concentrate on the most important ones. It really does not matter if some things simply don’t get done. Leave some things undone and our lives are the same way – undone. Associates It has been said that our income will never exceed the average income of our five closest friends. Who we associate with has a direct impact on our quality of life. Who we choose to associate with can expand our philosophy and outlook on life or it can be limiting. We can be uplifted and draw strength from our friends or we can associate with those that drain our energy and dampen our
© Teach the Soul – 2007
spirits. Choose your friends wisely. They will have a significant impact on your life. Making money If you are like most people, making money is at or near the top of your goals list. We live in a consumer oriented society and it takes a fairly decent level of income just to cover what most people consider the basic necessities of life. It does not do a lot of good to cover all the theories of goal setting, gaining clarity when you are not sure how you are going to put food on the table. This section will give you some insights on how to make an above average income. But please understand - making money is not the end game. Designing the life style you want is a process. You cannot skip to the making money section and dive in. Unless you get clear about your core beliefs, understand and develop an open mindset, get clear about what you truly want to do, set smart goals and take focused action, making money will always be difficult. All these things are building blocks to develop the skills you will need to make the money you desire.
The most successful people are not necessarily the brightest people I know. The most successful people are the ones who decide on a path in life and stick with it long enough to master the skills required to be successful in that particular field.
© Teach the Soul – 2007
Most people abandon the race when the problems start. In any new venture. They are persistent. They are great at spotting opportunity. © Teach the Soul – 2007 11 . you need to develop persistence. it is common to meet with initial success before encountering some problems.I know plenty of very bright people who can see the opportunity in countless business and personal situations. Successful people stick with it and overcome the problems. They are always jumping on the newest idea or opportunity. The problem is they never stick with one business or one endeavor long enough to totally master the intricacies of that particular business. If you are going to truly be successful in life.
most of the time. you simply must be totally prepared. Likewise. Luck has been defined as “to meet or acquire by accidental good fortune.” This would apply to winning the lottery or any other such random event. there is no such thing as good luck or even bad luck. The truth is they are not lucky. When we meet or think about someone like that.” There are opportunities before us at all times. Except for random acts. If you want to be like the lucky person who has everything in life. And their home life seems perfect. They appear to love their job. All too often we attribute good things that happen in people’s lives to luck when we should really attribute it to preparedness.Reaching your Personal Goals I am sure you have met someone who seemed to have everything in life a person could possibly want. You will not © Teach the Soul – 2007 12 . we often blame bad luck when in fact the real cause of the problems is being unprepared. we tend to think how lucky that person is. So the missing ingredient must be preparedness: most of us are not prepared to seize on the opportunities that exist everywhere. It seems like they never have any financial worries. we are literally surrounded by them. But the person whose life is a total success did not obtain that position by accident. Earl Nightingale defined luck as “when preparedness meets opportunity.
If your goal is to lead a happy. Financial success means very little if you are not happy with what you are doing. you will not be happy. but it does not give us a system for success. You will need to work on reaching your goals in all parts of your life. Most people think of success in terms of financial achievement. Only when you are reasonably comfortable with all areas of your life will you be content with your life. you must strive for harmony in your life. © Teach the Soul – 2007 13 . if the emotional. This course is designed to help you reach your personal goals. Even if you enjoy what you are doing and are earning significant income from doing it. It is very possible to achieve great financial success and still not have a successful life. And even though we place a lot of emphasis on education.achieve that level of success by accident. Our educational system provides us a lot of information. our educational system does not really prepare us for success. physical or spiritual areas of your life are lacking. fulfilling life.
The same principles that allow you to achieve financial success work equally well when applied to any other part of your life. However. it will © Teach the Soul – 2007 14 . The primary purpose of this course is to help you reach success in your work or career and in the financial area of your life. family and friends Work/career goals Physical health Emotional health Financial goals Spiritual balance There is a common thread between all these items. failure to obtain success in the other four areas will ultimately undermine any success you have achieved. There are specific steps that must be taken in each area of your life if you hope to succeed there. However. You simply cannot concentrate on your work and your finances to the exclusion of the other aspects of your life and expect to achieve long-term success. you must recognize that no matter how successful you may become in those two areas. Outstanding results simply do not happen by accident. You will never achieve outstanding results in any area of your life unless you work at it. Your emotional and physical goals are personal and will only be dealt with here in the most general terms.The following are the broad divisions of your life: • • • • • • Relationships: spouse or soul mate.
We cannot expect to change our lives overnight. spirituality has absolutely nothing to do with any religious belief. You should also understand that there is a significant difference between your religious beliefs and your spiritual self. We become very impatient if we have to wait. As used here. © Teach the Soul – 2007 15 . Unless you identify and pursue your purpose in life. You should get comfortable with how you fit into the greater scheme of life. but we as a society have developed an “instant” or “fast food” mentality with respect to most things. And the impact of the changes will take even longer to realize. When we want something. The start of any program to achieve your desires in life should be to develop a healthy mental attitude and a physically fit body. We fail to realize that we are the way we are because of an entire lifetime of things we have done. you will never achieve true success. We cannot change overnight. There is no point of embarking on a self-improvement course if you are not willing to stay the course until you reach your goals. you must be comfortable with who you are and what you stand for.not be possible for you to achieve your financial and work goals unless you have a positive mental attitude and maintain a healthy body. Often we will change our mind about whether we really want something if we can’t have it immediately. You should understand that we all have a purpose in life. we want it now. These lessons do not attempt to alter or influence your religious beliefs in any way. Expecting immediate results is folly. It’s unfortunate. your spiritual nature will be out of balance. But you must understand that unless you are comfortable with yourself. Spiritual balance refers to harmony with your inner self.
We strive for continued growth and learning. In addition. we will go into great detail in dealing with the work and financial areas of your life. With each step in the right direction. Success actually has no relation to the amount of money you earn. I think everyone would agree that Mother Theresa was a success. We begin to experience success when we commit to changing our lives. Now that we have covered the overview. Success is a journey. we experience success. higher goals. © Teach the Soul – 2007 16 . Yet she was penniless. we become more successful.Success is not a destination. We learn to seek constant improvement. the definition of success has nothing to do with money or other material things. The steps for identifying and achieving goals are basically the same for all areas of your life. While we recommend that you do the same with the relationship and spiritual areas of your life. And as we reach certain goals or milestones. We continue striving. There is no point in achieving a great personal fortune if you are not doing what you most desire. Success is about achieving your potential in doing whatever you truly desire to do. We will identify those steps. we will not try to influence or even discuss those areas – the same concepts apply. let’s get started. It is up to you once you have learned the concepts to apply those concepts to the relationship and spiritual areas of your life. we set new. With each step we take towards our goals. There are no bells ringing to signify that we have arrived. For some people. Her goal in life was to help the less fortunate and she was a huge success in that respect. This course is designed to help you identify your goals in life and then take the necessary steps to achieve those goals.
That you are a victim of circumstances. “You are today where your thoughts have brought you.Your core beliefs and how they control your actions How do beliefs control your actions? It is very easy to tell yourself that you had little control over your present circumstances. you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. Your beliefs allow you to take certain actions. As long as you give up the responsibility for your life to outside events. James Allen. Continuing to take the actions we take. soon the action becomes a habit. And for a lot of people. lead to the circumstances in our lives. But the belief that you do not control your circumstances allows you to shift the responsibility to others. That is was not your fault that you lost your job. you can feel justified in being a victim of circumstances. But those people will never achieve success in life. wrote.” © Teach the Soul – 2007 17 . If you are looking for excuses. you probably do not need to look very far to find someone or something to blame. As long as your life is not your responsibility. you will continue to be tossed about like a ship without a rudder. it is not their fault. or that your wife/husband left you. If you continue taking that action. But the habit started with our core beliefs. your beliefs tell you it is okay to take that action. that makes them feel better. author of As a Man Thinketh. Our lives are ruled by our habits. After all. The very first time you consider doing something.
“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances. Our busy minds are forever jumping to conclusions. If you want to change your circumstances. if you continue to do the things you have always done.Allen further writes.” You must take responsibility for your thoughts. what is to be gained by blaming someone or something else? You may be quick to point out that at times people do © Teach the Soul – 2007 18 . the weather or any other of the numerous things that can affect our lives. you must change the way you think. If you truly want to change your life. do not let your mind jump to conclusions or manufacture signs that are not there. Epictetus Epictetus wrote. manufacturing and interpreting signs that aren’t there. You also need to take control of your mind. You have no control over what someone else does. therefore they are bound. we can control how we react to things that happen in our lives. You have no control over the financial markets. “As you think. so you become. you will get the results you have always gotten.” Said differently. We cannot control what happens in our lives. Unless and until you change the way you think. you must change your thoughts. any changes in your life will be temporary. but are unwilling to improve themselves. How do you change your beliefs? The first and most important step is to accept that you have total control over but one thing in life. Ask yourself. Changing our thoughts requires that we give up blame. Sheer willpower will not change the basic path of your life. So the first step is to take responsibility for As you think. We often blame others for things that happen. And that is your thoughts. your own thoughts. That is. so you become.
things that affect us negatively. Accept that you have no control over lots of things that happen in life. If something is not moving you toward your goals in life. We can only control our reaction to it. so why spend time agonizing over it? Trying to control events that are out of your control only leads to frustration. But stop and ask yourself what good comes from the anger? It is not a question of did someone do you wrong. why spend the time and energy doing it. If someone has said something bad about you or done you some wrong. anger can be a hazard to your health. The question you need to focus on is what good comes from anger. Accept that things happen in life. We cannot control what someone else does. But you do control your thoughts. Playing the blame game is a losing proposition. You can invest a lot of time and emotional energy in being angry. You cannot change what has happened. And you do not wish to engage Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. And anger increases the stress level. You cannot afford to take actions that move you away from your goals. Stress is at the base of the majority of today’s health issues. In fact. then it must be moving you away. You must accept what happens. Instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by anger and resentment. © Teach the Soul – 2007 19 . Does it accomplish anything to blame someone else? If it does not accomplish anything. You must give up anger and Nelson Mandella resentment. it is very easy to get angry with them. But it will not move you closer to your goals in life. allow yourself to forgive the person you are angry.
our natural reaction is to strike back. Observe how you feel about what happened. Ask yourself what is the best way to respond to the event. you will start to respond to events rather than react to them. try to have a time out or a cool down period. and try to learn from them. You will need to constantly remind yourself to respond to things rather than react. But that does no good. If you are having trouble learning to respond instead of reacting. Locus of Control Psychologists teach us that we can have an internal or an external locus of control. If we feel like we have been injured. Just put aside your immediate reaction and think about how much better off you are by controlling your thoughts and your actions. Our natural tendency is to react. © Teach the Soul – 2007 20 . To get even. You will need to take the emotion out of the picture. Learn to question your feelings. try to delay any reaction to the event. This will not happen overnight. By observing your thoughts. If we have an internal locus of control. Learn to respond instead of reacting.in thoughts that drain your energy and take you away from your goals in life. If we have an external locus of control. becoming aware that you can control your thoughts and actions. Responding means to consider the best course of action you should take. Trying to get even often just escalates the problem. we think that we are in control of our circumstances. we think that events outside our control or internal factors over which we have no control are responsible for our circumstances in life. Accept things that have happened. When something happens.
He thought his happiness in life was controlled by factors beyond his control. There is a timing difference. All because of outside circumstances beyond his control. the pony turned up and along with it was a beautiful Arabian horse. The old man was delighted. Then a few days later. A few days later. One day the pony wandered off and was presumed to be lost. In our complex world. the son fell off and broke his leg. It is easy to trace the cause of clogged arteries back to our lifestyle. the link between cause and effect is often very indirect. The man was deeply depressed over the loss of the pony. He had an external locus of control. sad the next. In a small village in India. The man again was in a state of depression. So we tend to discount or overlook the connection. The man was so grateful. © Teach the Soul – 2007 21 . they did not take the son. the man is constantly being buffeted by outside circumstances. Alarm bells do not go off when you eat a hot fudge sundae loaded with whipped cream. lived an elderly man. The horse stopped short. But over time. A lot of people think that they are victims of circumstances. The problem is the time involved. His major treasures in life were his son and a small pony. eating such foods will have an effect on the body. The son was out riding the beautiful horse. Because of the broken leg. In this story. Now this is a simple little story but it illustrates a very serious problem in the way a lot of people think.Let me share a little story that will illustrate the concept of locus of control. the army came through the village and took all young men to fight in a far off war. That they had no control of what happened to them. Happy one day.
we must change what we do. we will not take responsibility for our lives and therefore will not make the changes necessary in our lives to bring about the desired outcomes. You must accept full responsibility for your life. There is simply no other way. And the first step in changing the way we think. We will never take full control of our lives if we are blaming outside circumstances. However if we have always operated in some areas of our lives with an external locus of control. If we want to change the outcome – the circumstances of our lives. It is a universal law – cause and effect. © Teach the Soul – 2007 22 .But the point is we do have control over our lives. if we think that things just happen to us.
If you are going to achieve all you want to in life. So by the time we have reached adulthood. Because we are not in a position to make good judgments about what we should accept or reject. we have a belief system that is a part of all we have been exposed to our entire life. We pick up lots of beliefs from the adult role models in our lives. we rarely revisit them or question their validity. In short we filter information from a number of sources and accept that which fits our basic belief system. extended families and teachers were probably sharing their values and honestly thought their values were what we should accept. It will also take a lot of © Teach the Soul – 2007 23 . Those things we accept and those concepts we reject both serve to strengthen our belief system. associates. Our parents and teachers can have a very strong influence on our belief system. magazines and newspapers. the information we read in books. Not all of our beliefs are necessarily good.Where do beliefs come from? I part of all have met. friends. radio. Our parents. Often they were simply passing on the values they had been taught. Unfortunately after accepting beliefs. television and movies. We have been exposed to lots of information that is not necessarily good or true. you will need to do some serious questioning of your beliefs and value systems. we often accept beliefs that are not healthy. This will not be easy. I“I am a part of all I Ihave met” Lord Alford Tennyson Our beliefs come from all we have met – from our parents.
you should resist the temptation to impose your beliefs on others. Do not think this is something you can do in a week or two. But you were probably taught some things that are simply not true. you will naturally come to question some of the things you were taught as a child.time and energy. You will become more tolerant of others and you will come to see the world is not black and white. So develop tolerance for others. At times this might be a little uncomfortable. Benjamin Franklin You need to realize that your belief system is subject to change. © Teach the Soul – 2007 24 . Things are never quite that cut and dried. you can expect your belief system to change. As you learn and grow. a sense of justice should not change. After crosses and losses. Don’t try to make drastic changes in your basic belief system. honesty. things change. men grow humbler and wiser. As you learn and grow. It may be race. As you grow up and begin to experience the normal bumps and bruises of life. Also. Your core values. That what you believe today might not be what you believe next year. religion. One thing you must do is learn to accept people who are in some basic ways different from you. political beliefs or any number of other things. But you must be open to changing beliefs that are not true.
In some instances this is okay. you are giving up control of your life. But each time we repeat the action. However you need to understand that when you do things out of habit. Habits are extremely limiting. we shop at the same stores and often eat at the same restaurants. We take the same route to work. we do out of habit. Most of the things we do. This can be a very damaging activity. n. it becomes more an integral part of who we are. Eventually we come to accept that the action is totally okay and no longer consult our belief system. I am © Teach the Soul – 2007 25 . We even get in the habit of buying the same styles and colors. You can get into a routine (some might call it a rut) and never learn or grow. a shackle for the free. We react out of habit. They keep us doing what we have always done. we consult our belief system to make sure the action is in accordance with our core values. at least to you habits are the most powerful force in the world. It is estimated that 95% of the things we do. The Devil’s Dictionary Ambrose Bierce I have often said that habits are the most powerful force in the world. When we first take an action. In short we are creatures of habit.Why are habits so powerful? Habit. Habit start off innocently enough. we have done before. We don’t have to think about the everyday routine things we do in life. If you think about it. You no longer question if the activity is good for you. you need to understand the power of habits. I then qualify that by saying. If you expect to achieve your goals in life.
Daily exercise would be another. You will do them without conscious thinking. I recommend 30 minutes a day. If you promise yourself that you are going to exercise and/or read in the evening.sure you will come to the same conclusion that I have namely that habits are the most powerful force in the world. This can add up to quite a sum over a 15 to 20 year period. you can choose if you want to be the slave of habits or have them work for you. So what is the answer? It is quite simple. Make sure you develop good habits. you will increase your earning power by at least $1. First if you read just 30 minutes per day and you are an average reader. you will be able to complete your reading and exercise without interruption. However. What are some good habits to develop? Daily reading would be an excellent habit to develop. Most things you do in life will become habits. It has been estimated that the average American reads less than one non-fiction book per year. But if you wake up half an hour early. For example you could read while exercising on a stationary bike. It has also been estimated that for each non-fiction book you read. you will probably read about 20 books per year. If you are going to be a slave to habits. But most © Teach the Soul – 2007 26 .000 dollars. Think how much further ahead you will be than the average person. make sure you have good habits that will help you work toward your goal. There is nothing wrong with an occasional good mystery or other work of fiction. It is easy to underestimate the power of reading. you should do it first thing in the morning. you will find the majority of times something comes up to interfere with your planned activity. Further. If you really want to save time you could combine the two. Now I believe that you should read material that moves you toward your goals in life.
you will more than likely fail. Most people watch way too much television. The purpose here is not to list the events so much as to capture your feelings about the day. Each evening you should recap the events of the day in your journal. selfimprovement CDs when riding in the car. Almost everyone complains of a shortage of time.of your reading should be books that will help you learn and grow. How much of that TV time could be turned into productive learning time? We will go into this deeper in the section on goal setting. The first is to start a journal. This is a passive activity. Unless you are watching good educational programs. If you take constant action. There are a couple of other habits you should consider adopting. Another good habit would be to listen to self-help. but one thing you should get in the habit of doing is taking action each day toward your goals. It is also very helpful to give up television. Make it a habit to take small daily steps to achieving your goals. you will become much more aware of how you are reacting to events. each and every day. What were your successes? What happened that set you back? How did you deal with the setbacks? What should you do different in the future? If you learn to write these things down. © Teach the Soul – 2007 27 . If you try to take huge steps in a short period of time. Yet most people spend a few hours per day with their eyes glued to the TV. the sitcoms and reality shows will do very little to help you reach your goals. You will simply be amazed at how much you can absorb by listening at least a half hour per day. This should dramatically improve your ability to respond rather than react. you will stand a much better chance of achieving your goals.
you will gradually raise your self-esteem. You will become aware of how much good you are doing in life. But we very rarely praise ourselves for the good that we do. It could be as simple as acknowledging yourself for some actions you have taken. Ask yourself why.Most people I know are plagued with self-doubt and low selfesteem. you are in a much better position to take corrective actions. it would be helpful for you to acquire a spiral bound notebook and answer the following questions each and every day. What things have I done in the last few days that I praise myself for? Most of us are very good at kicking ourselves for things we have done. Develop the habit of being aware of the things you can and should be grateful for. Notice the things you know you should do but do not. In order to help you overcome that. A good habit to develop is to write down the positive things you have done. they become easier to deal with. I would also suggest you become aware of the things you fail to do because of some form of fear. What am I grateful for today? List at list five or six things in your life that you are grateful for. But if you develop the habit of praising yourself for the good things you are doing each day. as you bring these behaviors into your conscious awareness. resentment and things like that. This can be anger. it would also be helpful if you became aware of the things that drain your energy. For you to be successful in life. While you are becoming aware of the things you should be grateful for and the things you should praise yourself for. Again. You need to be grateful. frustration. As you bring these energy drainers into your conscious awareness. you need to adopt an attitude of gratitude. © Teach the Soul – 2007 28 .
The foundation for designing your life is built on your acceptance that you have total control of your thoughts and your thoughts lead to your circumstances. You will be a slave to your habits. Give yourself an emotional reason to adopt a new habit. you will want to develop some strong emotional attachment to the new behavior you are trying to adopt. you must start with changing your thoughts. Find something more powerful than the habit you want to replace. it is extremely difficult to break a habit. It could be the selfsatisfaction you will get when you have fully implemented the new habit. If you are finding it difficult to break a habit.You need to become aware of the power that habits have in your life. there is nothing that says that all habits are bad. Ovid While it is true that nothing is stronger than habit. If you don’t you will let your bad habits rule your life. As everyone knows. Nothing is stronger than habit. You also need to examine which habits are keeping you in a rut and what you can do to get out. You are going to have habits. If you wish to change your circumstances. A more productive approach is to design a behavior that will replace the habit. That your habits are leading you toward your goals. © Teach the Soul – 2007 29 . For example if you are hooked on watching TV. Make sure that you have a good master. develop the habit of reading or meditating.
Learn to respond to things. but what he justly earns. but their inmost thoughts and desires are fed with their own food. but that which they are. Examine your habits. and ambitions are thwarted at every step. Habits rule your life. You must learn that you have absolutely no control over things that can happen to you. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with this thoughts and actions. It is necessary to give up blame. you must start by changing your thoughts. You have total control over how you react to things. anger and resentment. be it foul or clean. It is our reaction to events. then why engage in blame? Do not allow your energy to be consumed by anger and resentment. they are also angles of Freedom – they liberate. These feelings do nothing positive for you. Man is manacled only by himself: thought and action are the jailers of Fate – they imprison. In order to change your circumstances. Left alone. If it is of no value. being base. It is not the events that cause us problems. Their whims. the bad habits can dictate © Teach the Soul – 2007 30 . James Allen gives us this passage: Men do not attract what which they want. If you hope to achieve what you truly want in life. fancies. it is our very self. These emotions will only drag you down. The “divinity that shapes our ends” is ourselves. Bad habits develop on their own. Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get. being noble. you must come to the conclusion that your thoughts eventually lead to your circumstances. Accept those things you have no control over.In his book As a Man Thinketh.
Develop good habits that replace bad habits. What circumstances in your life do you wish to change? It could be income. relationships. It does very little good to simply read the exercises. taking action on what you are learning. Taking immediate action on a lesson reinforces the lesson. It is okay to have habits so long as they are leading you towards your goals. putting the lessons into practice will greatly accelerate your progress. Exercises: A basic principal of achieving your goals is focused action. You must take action. Applied knowledge is power. you must put the knowledge to work for you. You forget a substantial amount of what you read the day after you have read it. career or financial. When you internalize the information.how we lead our lives. 1. It is almost impossible to get rid of a bad habit through sheer willpower. health. That is not quite correct. You will be a slave to habits. you make it a part of you. It is so important to combine the lessons with action. But if you take some action on what you read. © Teach the Soul – 2007 31 . You have a much better chance of internalizing the information. But list those circumstances that you are not happy with. It has been said that knowledge is power. you retain much more of the information. You need to actually do them. There is a further benefit from taking action. There is nothing that says all habits need to be bad for you. Develop good habits. Doing the exercises. For any of the lessons to truly benefit you.
Are those things enduring? That is will they be important in 5 to 10 years? Are any of the items on your list material possessions? 5. Examine your list of things that are important.2. but try it. What habits do you have that are controlling your life? How long have you had them? Write down how your life would be different without those habits. What self-limiting beliefs do you have? What have you been told by your parents. Do you have a good idea who you are? What your core beliefs are? List the things in life that are important to you. friends and relatives about how you will do in life? 7. Now list the beliefs that may have contributed to the circumstances being what they are. It may be difficult to connect all the beliefs directly to a circumstance. 3. What do you believe that you are capable of doing? What do you believe that you can become? What do you think is the biggest obstacle in your path to achieving what you truly want from life? © Teach the Soul – 2007 32 . 4. See if you can identify some beliefs that have not served you well in the past. 6.
How important is it that you become successful in life? Why do you want to be successful? © Teach the Soul – 2007 33 .8.
We would have a fixed mindset about income if we accepted the idea that the only legitimate way to earn a living would be to get a job. neighborhood or area of the country we might choose to live in. On the other hand. You must be open to the opportunities that exist. What do they say? That there are no good jobs available. We may have a fixed mindset about the friends we wish to associate with. One is fixed and the opposite is a growth mindset. But listen to someone who is out of work. There are opportunities all around us. It is extremely important that you have a growth mindset. We may have a fixed mindset about the type of house. we would have a growth mindset about income if we realized there were a multitude of different methods to earn a living. © Teach the Soul – 2007 34 .Mindset What do we mean by mindset? Our mindset is “an established set of attitudes held by someone” according to the Oxford American dictionary. By limiting ourselves to only one way – getting a job – we dramatically limit our possibilities. We have a fixed attitude about how things should be. Any time we have a fixed mindset about anything we limit the possibilities. There are so many different ways that we can have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. Carol Dweck advances the theory that there are two types of mindset. A fixed mindset means exactly what you might think. Most people will have a fixed mindset about some things and a growth or open mindset about other things. In her book. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Companies are just not hiring.
One of the big ways that our mindset determines our future is how we think about talent versus work. However.Listen to a person looking for a soul mate. you view the world as having limited resources. tall men earn more than their shorter brothers. And unless their ideal soul mates just happen by. Thinking that there is only one way to achieve a goal and they have the answer. Attractive women get ahead faster and go farther than their homely sisters. We must be flexible in our approach. We need to look beyond the surface and see the deeper qualities a person possesses. Prosperity – Scarcity Mindset We need to examine our mindset with respect to prosperity or scarcity. There is nothing left but the undesirable. they are likely to look all their lives in vain. If you have a scarcity mindset. They refuse to look at all the possibilities that exist. Our society has a fixed mindset about these attributes. A person with a fixed mindset is often arrogant. We either have a prosperity mindset or a scarcity mindset. There are generally numerous ways to arrive at a particular goal. We should praise hard work. In both cases the person has a fixed mindset. In our society. We tend to think that there is a scarcity of © Teach the Soul – 2007 35 . As a society. not talent. Unless a job comes and lands in their lap. What do they say? That all the good men (women) are already taken. as employers we often shortchange our companies by taking such a short sighted view of things. we praise talent. How we view the world and its resources will have a huge impact on our ability to accomplish our goals. they are unlikely to find one.
income opportunities and relationship opportunities. income opportunities and relationship opportunities. We buy things that we do not really need and fail to use the things we have. This is the hording that comes with the scarcity mindset. We feel like we must compete with others for jobs. the more we get. This goes hand in hand with the scarcity mentality. We do not want to share. We no longer horde our precious resources. We want to do it all by ourselves and get all the spoils of victory. As you know by now. relationships and scarce resources. We understand that there are ample resources to fill all our needs. Please do not confuse a prosperity mindset with being wasteful. money and other resources. Here we tend to see the world as having an abundance of resources. what we think about. The average American today waste too many resources. we bring about. As a result we have developed a “go it alone” mindset. This becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. A scarcity mindset creates scarcity. The competitive – collaborative mindset We live in a very competitive society. Therefore if we think that there is a scarcity of resources. We become stingy with our time. All we need to do is to open our mind to the possibilities. We are no longer stingy. This is not a prosperity mindset. we tend to horde resources. We manifest that which be believe. Can you see the dangers of having a scarcity mindset? On the other side of the spectrum is a prosperity mindset. We realize that the more we give. There are plenty of jobs. © Teach the Soul – 2007 36 . A prosperity mindset does not waste precious resources. We even become stingy with our love.jobs. Since we tend to manifest what be believe. having a prosperity mindset tends to attract prosperity to us.
No matter what your goal. You cannot expect to undo this overnight. We have our instant messaging. You cannot expect to reprogram your mind instantly. instant emails and our fast foods. You are where you are based on a lifetime of thought and actions. you will need help to achieve it. And the more help you have. We have come to expect things to happen immediately. While there are some things we do not like to wait for. That is rather unfortunate. you will need to change your mindset when it comes to achieving your goals in life.We are taught from grade school on to compete for grades. © Teach the Soul – 2007 37 . Fast food mindset Unfortunately. Yet they can construct elaborate anthills and beehives. we have developed a fast food mindset. You will never accomplish anything truly great working solely by yourself. we don’t want it. But you need to stop and ask yourself if this is the best way? Is competition the way nature intended us to live? Could we actually stand a better chance of achieving our goals is we learned to collaborate with others? We could learn a lot from ants and bees. for sports teams and for academic or school positions of leadership. It will take some time. Edison did not invent the light bulb working alone. And they do it by working together. These are very primitive animal life forms. We have developed the mindset if we have to wait. Competition becomes inbred. the faster you will achieve your goals. Bill Gates did not build Microsoft alone. as a nation.
You can set your goals but you will need to do the work necessary to for the goals to bear fruit. The same is true of your goals. During this time. you will not make a fortune overnight to satisfy all your financial needs. You will also need to understand that you cannot force things to happen on your schedule. How does our mindset affect our lives? As you can see from the above examples.You will need to develop some realistic time frames for achieving your goals. even after you planted the tree you need to continue working on the tree and you have to wait until the tree has reached the proper size to produce fruit. unless you are very lucky. Therefore it is vitally important that we develop © Teach the Soul – 2007 38 . The tree needs to grow to a certain size before it produces fruit. You need to nurture your goals and do the work for you to learn and grow. What we think about. we bring about. you will need to water and fertilize the tree. If you try to force things to happen as you want them. If you have spend a few years building up credit card debt. Our mindset literally shapes our lives. you will meet with failure more often than not. You can achieve your goals and dreams. In short. You just need to be realistic about how long it might take. You will also need to prune the tree and protect it from insects and plant disease. It takes time. our mindset has a significant bearing on our ability to achieve our goals. If your goals are stretching you. how long would you wait for it to produce the fruit? Probably a few years. develop new relationships and make new connections. you will need to learn new skills. If you planted a fruit tree. To rush the process can often result in a premature death.
Successful people do not do the same things that everyone else does. While they were probably given with the best of intentions. Again. they would get the same results. or whatever you were told)” or worse yet. to new ways of doing things. As a child. But for the most part they told us to fit in. We have often accepted all we have been told about our limitations. “You need to learn your place. We need to open our minds to the possibilities of what can be. Don’t color outside the box or play outside the box. you must be open to doing things that are outside the box.” Most of us were constantly feed negative messages as children. The successful people are doing something different. While I am not suggesting that you be a rebel or do anything disruptive. We must be open to new possibilities. only one path to achieve our goals. In other words we were taught to conform. Therefore we have been conditioned to conform. we limit ourselves and may in fact close ourselves off to the path we really should take. professional. they became programmed into our brains. “You’ll never be able to be a _________ (doctor. We are now burdened with self-limiting beliefs about our abilities. If we think there is only one way to solve a problem. We need to be receptive to new concepts. © Teach the Soul – 2007 39 . our parents and teachers had what they thought were our best interest in mind. Don’t make waves. we were often feed lots of information about the types of relationships we should develop. “Don’t try that. If they did exactly as everyone else did. how many times were you told. As children.” Or. We often have a fixed mindset about our abilities.a growth mindset.
© Teach the Soul – 2007 40 .What is a growth mindset? It is simply being open to all possibilities. We are constantly exploring for new and better ways to do things. Learn to be open to seeing things from a different point of view. Start to look at the reasons why you are taking the actions you are taking. With a growth mindset. With a growth mindset. ask yourself if there might be a better way. we do not spend time on trying to defend our preconceived notion of how the world should work. One thing about learning. You will achieve your goals much faster that way. Learn to question or observe why you are doing certain things. Observe your feelings about what you are doing. We are seeking alternate ways to view the world. As you become aware of why you are doing things. the more we learn the more we realize how little we know. How can we develop a growth mindset? By simply being aware of your attitudes that control your behavior. Stop doing thing automatically. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that exist. A growth mindset requires that we are constantly learning and growing. Stop reacting like a robot. we do not spend time on trying to defend our preconceived notion of how the world should work. It is not having a fixed idea about how things should be done. It is being open to learning new ways to do things. It is very important that you question your long held beliefs about things.
Are you totally open to suggestions? Do you seek counsel from others? 7.Exercises: 1. do you get fixed on the first answer you come up with? Do you think you are generally right and know more than most people? 3. thinking of what you will say or worse yet. When you hear a question. off on some other subject. Do you feel that you must always have the answer to each and every question you are asked? 5. what is your first reaction? Do you dismiss it without really considering the merits of the idea? © Teach the Soul – 2007 41 . When someone makes a suggestion. 2. Are you willing to listen to other ideas? Do you take input? 4. The next time you are in a discussion. check to see how you listen? Do you listen attentively? Or is your mind wandering. How do you react when you are criticized? Do you become defensive? Are you quick to explain why you think you were right? 6.
Part of an open mindset is to get away from the self-centered way of thinking. Examine your beliefs about how fast you should expect to achieve your other goals. © Teach the Soul – 2007 42 .8. Do you think in terms of competition or collaboration? Competition is okay in sports. Do you want to make sure that you get none of the blame for something you were not really responsible for? While you might think it only makes sense to get credit for what you do and not to get blamed for what you really had no part if doing. But in life. Do you judge the actions of others before you understand their motives and intensions? These need to be answered very honestly. 11. this represents a self-centered way of thinking. 9. Do you want to make sure you get the proper credit for your contribution to a task? 10. blame should not be part of your way of thinking or acting. Do you have unrealistic expectations about how fast things should be accomplished? Examine your beliefs about how fast your income should increase. Having an unrealistic attitude about how fast you should achieve goals will set you up for failure. Your concern should be on getting results – not who gets credit. we need to learn to collaborate more with others. As previously discussed. 12. If you get blamed for something – whether it was your fault or not – simply learn from the experience and do not try to defend yourself.
then you are going to have a difficult time designing the life you want. money and connections? Do you think there is a limited or unlimited supply of each? 14. you will be able to design the life you wish. If you have a negative attitude. Are you looking for more/better relationships in your life? How do you think about the availability of these relationships? Do you think they are difficult to establish? That there all the good partners for life or business is already taken? The way you view the world. How do you view resources such as time. think the world owes you something. your attitude toward the world will have a significant bearing on how the world treats you. © Teach the Soul – 2007 43 . if you approach life with a positive outlook. realizing that there are sufficient resources available to you.13. On the other hand.
You must be specific. “I don’t much care where…” said Alice. For others it might be ten million.” said the Cat. There are a couple of techniques you can use to help you get clear. relationships.” said the Cat. But before we go into those. We will go much deeper into this in the goal setting process. You cannot have a goal of being wealthy. It could be that we have so many choices that we are afraid to make a commitment down one particular path. When we are working within a structured environment. Everyone seems to know that something is missing in life. But when our lives are an empty canvas. wealth is a million dollars. jobs or even starting your own © Teach the Soul – 2007 44 . Wealthy means different things to different people. we seem to do okay. You are never going to achieve vague goals. we go blank. let us set some parameters. But whatever the reason.Getting Clear “Would you please tell me which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to. where we can paint any picture we want. most people have a very difficult time getting clear about what they want in life. Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland In all my time working with people. but they don’t seem to have a good idea of what they want to fill that void. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go. However for now realize that when we talk about wealth. getting clear has been the most difficult task I have encountered. Getting clear means getting very specific. For some people.
You need to get rid of excuses. The Inaction is the death of any goals program. “Since money is no object. Most people. Why is it important to be clear? Unless and until you become clear. what would I spend my time doing?” You can expand this by saying. the clearer you are. The more specific you are. lots of people will tell you they want their own business. the education or any other excuse. when uncertain about where they want to go or how they want to get there simply do nothing. what would I spend my time doing?” Another way of getting the same results is to ask yourself. Uncertainty breeds inaction. If you hope to have any chance of achieving your goals. you need to get clear about what you want. © Teach the Soul – 2007 45 . “Since money is not object and I know I cannot fail. You will not have a good sense of direction about where you want to go or how to get there. you must be specific. you will not be able to take focused actions.business. Only by being very clear can your subconscious mind fix on what you want and begin to work on finding ways to obtain your goal. Techniques for getting clear One technique for getting clear is to assume that you have all the money you need. what would you do. even if you were not going to get paid for it?” The point of all the above questions is to get rid of all the normal excuses we give about why we can’t do something. but they don’t have the financing. “If you did not need money to live on. For example. Inaction is the death of any goals program. Then ask yourself.
you fast forward for five years. How much vacation do you take a year? Describe your typical day.above questions are designed to do just that. you can start to chart a direct course for getting there. How much do you travel? Where do you go? What do you do for recreation? The point of these questions is for you to get very clear on the type of life you want to have in five years or at some point in the future. Get rid of your excuses. If you get clear about what you want. Picture yourself five years down the road. See designing is a process. you can work back to the present. There is a second technique knows as the fast forward. Doing this exercise. © Teach the Soul – 2007 46 . You are not going to design a life. One thing you need to realize. Once you are clear. Now ask yourself the following questions? What am I doing for a living? Where am I living? Describe your house. you can find the ways to accomplish it. You are designing a life. Once you know your destination. How many rooms? What style? How big is the yard? Who are my friends? Describe your soul mate.
you will find it difficult to restrict your growth to just one area. As pointed out above. Your subconscious mind cannot focus on a fuzzy goal. Then you will become overwhelmed and everything will fall apart. you may feel the need to make improvements in other areas of your life. do not make the mistake of thinking you can get clear on all parts of your life at one time. As you begin to work on relationships. make it a habit to write things in your journal.On the other hand. You need to be specific. It is much too easy to change or make adjustments to an idea in our head. if you are content with our current job. but are looking to improve your relationships. Life should never be fixed. The best approach is to start on one item at a time. Some parts are dependent on other pieces of your life being in place. So when trying to get clear. then start getting clear about what is missing from your relationships. It should be a constant process of growth and discovery. You cannot be pursuing one goal today and a slightly different one tomorrow. So once you are clear about what you want. When you start to learn and grow. we become more committed to them. You need to take one step at a time. There is something about writing things down that forces clarity of thought and makes the commitment stronger. once you design a life. As you start to get clear about what you truly want. Setting Goals © Teach the Soul – 2007 47 . For example. write it down. it is fixed. designing your life is a process. you must have a fixed target. You will want to grow in all areas of your life. But do not try to do too much at one time. When we write things down. That is fine. If you are truly going to achieve success.
you will never get there unless you take the first step. and identifying the steps necessary to get there. The Way of Lao-tzu Lao-tzu The above quotation is so obvious. you will have separated yourself from the majority of people in the world. You will keep focused on your destination. you will simply alter your course to get around the obstacles without changing your intended destination. By deciding on a definite purpose in life. the second and subsequent steps should be much easier. writing it down. Getting started is key. no matter where you are going. But you are different! You have made a conscious decision to begin a journey – a journey of success. But once you have begun. And since you have already taken the first step. This journey will help you decide where you want to go and how to get there.A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. it is imperative that you keep moving toward © Teach the Soul – 2007 48 . When roadblocks appear. So many people are uncertain about which way to step. and as a result they either stand still or walk in place. Like any journey. and more than likely some detours. a journey of designing your life. there will be some bumps in the road. But you will not lose sight of your goals. They are afraid to take a step in the wrong direction. so they never go anywhere.
Almost certainly. There is no mystery to success. You will need to get rid of some old habits and old ways of thinking. reverse your movement. fear and old habits to try to pull you back into your comfort zone.your goals. It is like the proverbial snowball rolling downhill. even worse. And the only limits are the ones you place on yourself. So just store away the information that you question or doubt. they are totally dependent on your effort. It is as simple at that. There are no secrets. I will admit that there is a catch: while the process is simple. If you will simply follow the plan. There will come a time when the wisdom will become apparent. the rewards will be greater than anything you have ever imagined. You simply cannot fail if you follow the same path as other successful people. That is. It has been said that a person only learns when they are ready to learn. Just keep an open mind. Develop the same habits that other successful people have developed and you must be successful. your results will be totally dependent on the effort you put into this program. If it were as easy as © Teach the Soul – 2007 49 . it is not easy. you will gain very little. there will be some things that you will read and hear that you will not accept. In case this sounds too simple. While the results are automatic. Don’t let them. Your rewards will just keep getting bigger and bigger. willing to learn anything that will improve your life. You simply need to learn the lessons that others have learned. The wonderful news is that each success builds other successes and the rewards are compounded. Don’t let inertia slow you down or. You must begin this journey with an open mind. It is easy for doubt. If you approach this subject with an attitude of doubt and resistance.
if you do not put the energy into learning and applying what you learn. The more effort and energy you put into learning the principles and then acting on what you learn.reading this program. Let’s begin our journey of success! Let’s design your life! © Teach the Soul – 2007 50 . No matter how much you learn. unless you put into action what you learn. the knowledge is useless. Likewise. This is one time that your rewards are totally up to you. the greater your rewards. everyone would be rich and successful. you will have wasted your time reading these pages.
Earl Nightingale called “Attitude” the magic word. it will be reflected in our work output. to not © Teach the Soul – 2007 51 . William James. that sort of thinking becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And the world directs our attitude back to us. We tend to live up to our expectations.” Fear causes you to lose self-confidence. if we think the worst is going to happen. Improve your attitude and you improve your life.” You will never be successful at something you don’t think you can do. Our attitude affects everything we do. “If you think you can or you think you can’t do something. If we have a negative attitude about our job. Our attitude is a reflection of our self. As Cervantes said. that is what we get back. Nothing is more important in achieving success than your mental attitude. “Fear is sharp sighted and can see things underground. If we expect to fail. If we have a negative attitude towards learning.” The truth is we become what we think about. They cause you to see obstacles and problems at each and every turn. if we have a negative attitude. As Henry Ford said. you are probably right. If we are sending out a negative attitude. and much more in the skies. Doubt and fear rob you of a positive mental attitude. They cause you to wait for the right time.A Positive Mental Attitude Success starts with a positive mental attitude. the father of American psychology. we really do not have much chance to learn. You will only be able to do those things that you firmly believe you can do. said “The greatest discovery of my generation is man can alter their lives by altering their mental attitudes. Everything you do depends on your mental attitude. Therefore.
make a sale. © Teach the Soul – 2007 52 . If you link thought with purpose. James Allen. A couple of suggestions are in order.” You would do well to read the above quote and memorize it. and set out to accomplish it. in his wonderful little book As a Man Thinketh. they must be yours. And you must really believe they are achievable. …A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart. said. 1. It does not matter what anyone else thinks you should do or would be good at doing. which being done. Your goals must be your own. gather your thoughts and take focused action you can accomplish anything. there is nothing which may not be accomplished. “Until thought is linked with purpose. to have a bad day – whatever we expect is exactly what we will get in the long run. Your Goals Now it is time to actually identify your goals. You should set separate goals for each area of your life. So do not list “wants” that you really don’t believe you are capable of accomplishing. there is no intelligent accomplishment. … Only in this way can the thoughts be gathered and focused. And you should set both short-term and long-term goals. A worksheet has been provided for writing down your goals in each area of your life. and resolution and energy be developed. If you are going to have the drive and determination to achieve your goals.
You must have an extremely strong desire to achieve the goal. make a new list the next day. What will emerge over a period of several days is your list of the goals that are most important to you. If you really want something. 6.2. People will say “I want my own business but I don’t have the money (or the skill. But not with a particular person. Just make sure it is your goal and you have a burning desire to accomplish it. It is this list that we want to utilize. In that case you are probably attracted to some idealized image you have of them rather than who they really are. 4. If you are attracted to one person and the relationship happens to work out. Wave the magic wand and decide what you would really want if money (or a certain skill) were no object. Do this for a few days. It is perfectly fine to have a goal to be in a romantic relationship. You should not have a goal to be in a romantic relationship with a particular person. Only list those things that you are willing to work for. One method of determining your true goals has been described as the “magic wand” method. without referring to your old list of goals. no matter how much effort it takes to achieve them. 5. Do not worry yet about how you will accomplish your goals.” Do not let the means to acquire the goal interfere with your listing it as a goal. You should list your goals and then. that is fine. Your goals should not involve any other person. But wishing for a specific relationship for yourself is © Teach the Soul – 2007 53 . or both). Often people will not list their true goals because they talk themselves out of it. 3. write it down. If you wave the magic wand and are honest you will reveal your true desire. For example. Don’t list things that would be nice to have. They may not feel the same way about you that you do about them. let’s assume you want your own business.
Once you have worked with a list of goals over a few days and narrowed it down or eliminated goals that were merely wishes. in the long run. This is very important. So take some time to write down why you want to achieve a particular goal – how accomplishing your goal will benefit you and change your life. you are operating from a fixed mindset. Make it a point to always be open to your goal or something better. “Whatsoever a man soweth. That is negative and it will not serve you well. the stronger the desire to achieve. a house or anything like that. You want your most important goal to be at the top of your list. You will not be open to all the possibilities that may exist. If you limit your goals to a particular job or relationship. No matter what wrong someone has done to you.” Don’t worry. It is the strong purpose that gives you the drive to achieve the goal. a relationship. The stronger the purpose. 7. Take some time to think about your priorities.overlooking the idea that each person has the right to set their own goals. It will only drag you down. “what goes around comes around” is true. © Teach the Soul – 2007 54 . You should have a real purpose associated with your most important goal. Do not burden yourself trying to even the score. When you set your goals for a job. everyone gets their just due. never seek or even hope for revenge. Also remember the Bible verse. Never set a goal that involves revenge. it is time to put the goals in some order. 8. that shall he also reap. always set the goal for what you want or something better. The old saying.
A lot of people have trouble deciding on the rank of their goals. Then make the same decision between number 8 and number 7. Perhaps what you really want is to achieve a certain level of savings or to pay off debts in order to feel financially secure. Money is simply a medium of exchange. Next look at number 8 and number 10. Most people cannot look at a list of ten goals and figure out which is the most important. But if you © Teach the Soul – 2007 55 . But by narrowing the choice down to one of two items. Let’s say you picked number 10 over number 9. you should be able to decide. Look at number 10 and number 9 on your list. your goal should be to identify a valuable service you would enjoy providing. Then make a decision between those two items. one at a time. The sad truth is. Continue this until you have compared the winner of each stage with the next item in line. You must also realize that you can only acquire money or any other thing of value by providing service of equal value. These are both properly stated goals. It is the benefit gained by providing goods or services. If you believe you want money. Let’s say you have a list of ten goals. You might not be able to pick out the most important out of a list of 10. So if you need or want a certain amount of money. Here is a simple method to determine the order of your goals. you will not provide an exceptional level of service and will surely not achieve your desired income. You are going to need to decide which goal is most important so you will know where to focus your energy. Concentrate on doing a good job and the money will surely follow. Eventually you will have compared the all the items. if you concentrate on just obtaining money. you must analyze further and determine why you want money. Which is most important? Let’s say this time you picked number 8. A word of caution: the attainment of a certain sum of money is not a goal.
© Teach the Soul – 2007 56 . Do not think you can work on all of the habits at the same time. To attempt that course of action will more than likely result in complete failure. We will work with you on work/career goals and financial goals.concentrate on providing excellent service. Pick out and work on one item at a time. Take the first step and then take it one step at a time. you will probably identify a number of habits or changes you need or want to make in your life. the money must follow. You should go through the same process to achieve goals in the other areas of your life. Once you start thinking about setting goals and taking complete control of your life. Build your confidence as you go. One other note of caution.
what picture comes to mind? Why a pink rabbit of course. If your goal is to reach a certain weight. the mind tends to ignore the “non” and your goal becomes “I am a smoker”. Your goals must be personal. positive and stated in the present tense.e. You are the only person in the world who can use the word “I” when referring to yourself. Therefore you need to set your goals in the present tense. the subconscious mind does not have to work on it now. i.. Your goal should not be to double your earnings. Present tense – Just like negative images. Personal – It is easy to make sure your goals are personal. say you want to double your earnings in one year. It can deal with the now.”. If something is to take place in the future. And it cannot process a negative picture. Now it is obvious that some goals will not be accomplished today. Therefore each goal should be stated in the positive. it should begin with “I earn …”. If I ask you to not think about a pink rabbit. So always state your goal as a positive. since that © Teach the Soul – 2007 57 . For example. but you still express them in the present tense. If you state your goal as “I am a nonsmoker”. The mind tends to think in pictures. Positive – The subconscious mind cannot process a negative. If your goal is to achieve a certain level of income. state your goal as “I weigh ….Rules for Goal Setting For you to be successful in achieving your goals there are certain rules you must follow. what you want not what you don’t want. Clearly not what you intended. Just start each goal with “I”. the subconscious mind has trouble with future events. The following are the rules and an explanation of the rules.
there is one more point to make about your goals. as soon as you set a goal or have an idea.000 per year. There is a law in psychology called the law of diminishing intent.is not a specific amount. positive and stated in the present tense. “I earn $100. Note that the goal is personal. If you allow your goals to settle to the back of your mind. Then the proper way to state your goal is to say. We lose track of what we have filed in the junk drawer. let’s say you are earning $50. © Teach the Soul – 2007 58 . Well in some respects your mind is like the junk drawer. you tend to forget those ideas that were so promising only a few weeks prior. If you are like most people. You know what you are earning now.000 per year by December 200X. you must begin to take action on that goal or idea. the level of the intent diminishes. you will forget about them. However. If enough time passes the intent fades completely. We store so many thoughts and ideas in our minds and with each new thought or new idea. Therefore. you have a “junk drawer” somewhere in your house. For purposes of illustration. As more things get stuffed in the drawer. This is the drawer where you put the miscellaneous things that you don’t want to throw away but you don’t have a specific place for filing. Which brings up the need to constantly keep your goals in the forefront of your lives. Ever so often we have to clean it out by throwing most of the things away. the old ones get pushed toward the back of our minds. We will work on the specific steps to accomplish your goals in another section. The basic premise of this law is the longer the time between your intent and your action. usually the kitchen. it becomes impossible to find what you want. After a few days or weeks.
A simple way to keep your goals a current part of your life is to write your goals on a 3 x 5 card and read them at least twice a day. © Teach the Soul – 2007 59 . Anything that will keep your mind focused on your goal will assist in the achievement of your goals. you need to make sure that your goals are SMART goals. you need to very clear about what you want. You may not currently have any idea about how you will achieve your goal. A vague goal produces vague results. What are you going to do? Why is this goal important to you? How are you going to do it? When are you going to do it? We will work more on an action plan for achieving your goals. You can also write them out daily. That is okay. Just make sure your goals are very specific. SMART Goals As you are listing your goals. The following is a definition of SMART goals. S M A R T - Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Time Specific For a goal to be specific.Otherwise your enthusiasm for that goal or idea fades into the background.
On the other hand. Far too many people set unrealistic time frames for achieving their goals. Not that you can never achieve that goal. you are not striving for something totally out of reach. there is no point in setting a goal that is physically impossible to reach. Attainable Saying a goal should be attainable does not mean it should be easy.000.Measurable What gets measured gets managed. Peter Drucker You will need to determine some milestones for your goals. If your goal was to lose 15 pounds in six months. you would not wait for five months to check your progress. You may also be seeking to accomplish © Teach the Soul – 2007 60 . if you have been earning $50. but you must set a more realistic time frame. setting a goal to earn $1. You must know if you are progressing adequately toward your goal. Only by measuring your progress will you be in a position to make adjustment to your actions to ensure you achieve your goals by the target date.000 next year is probably not attainable or realistic. Most properly set goals are reachable. For example. You would break down your goal into pounds per month and then you would measure your progress. Realistic means given your present situation. Realistic This is a close cousin to attainable.000 per year.
The time must be measurable. there is no commitment. attainable and realistic. A deadline spurs you to action. Your goal might be obtainable. Without a deadline. Time All goals must have a target time frame for achieving the goal. © Teach the Soul – 2007 61 . You must set a realistic deadline and take the necessary action to achieve your goal. but you might need to have a more realistic time frame.the goal within an unrealistic time frame.
Write them out on the attached worksheets and then put them in order of importance. We will work on developing a step by step method of achieving them. Relationship Goals Short-term goals: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 62 .To-do exercise Take some time to decide on your goals.
Work / Career Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ________ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 63 .
Physical Health Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 64 .
Emotional Health Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 65 .
Financial Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 66 .
Spiritual Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 67 .
finishing is the goal. Some even start with a bang. trying out © Teach the Soul – 2007 68 . Living in the present moment If I were to ask you how much time you spend in the past or spend in the future. Before we go deeper into the specifics of taking action. You might think to yourself that you don’t spend any time in the past and you certainly can’t travel to the future. trying in our mind to change the outcome. We spend far too much time in the past. There are lots of people who will get started. There was only one thing missing. That was consistent action. consistent action. While you can never finish unless you start. We play past events over and over. you would probably give me a bit of a puzzled look. But the simple truth is that most people do not live their lives in the present moment.Taking Action I have known plenty of people who were great at setting goals but not very good at achieving them. And the only way to finish is to take constant. How do we spend time in the past? We are constantly replaying past events. we need to spend a little time on some things that will help you in the process of taking action.
It does not matter how many time we replay things in our mind. While we are trying to reshape things that have happened. If our minds are tied up in the past. nothing you do will change the outcome. What is the answer? Accept the past. we are not fully present in the current moment. tears. We imagine things we should have said or done and how that would make things different. Instead you should learn to release the feelings. We need to plan. Realize that no matter how good or how bad some past event was. You created the feelings and you can release them. we cannot change what has happened. Suppressing feelings about the past usually shows up in elevated stress levels. many things happened that the generals had not expected – and the plan no matter how © Teach the Soul – 2007 69 . resentment. the commander of the Allied troops in Europe during World War II said this about planning. The past is history.different endings. General Dwight Eisenhower. We can’t change it. We often spend a lot of time in the future. But consider this. There is a difference between planning and trying to live the future before it arrives. “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans were useless but planning is indispensable. that is the present moment. We can suppress our feelings about some past event or we can express our feelings. However we must not become too attached to the plan. Neither suppressing nor expressing is totally healthy. Understand that you are not your feelings. Expressing usually shows up in some emotional outlet – anger.” Now what he meant might not be obvious. Trying to live out the future before it arrives. we are letting go of the only thing we really do control. We get very attached to memories and refuse to let go. When the actual battle started.
But if they had tried to stick to the plan. The first step in housecleaning is to look around at all the clutter in your life. we do not need to spend time trying to predict the future. While we certainly need to prepare for the future.carefully drawn out – was soon abandoned. If you are like most people. These are very simple but important things you can do that will simplify your life. your schedule or your mind. We get caught up in playing out how future events will play out. You need to eliminate some things in your life. there are some housecleaning activities that can speed your progress. We often try to shape how the future will unfold for us. the weather and other unexpected happenings. Housecleaning As you set out to achieve your goals. So the process was valuable. We only have control over our reaction to events as they happen. the easier it will be for you to focus your energy on achieving your goals. The less clutter and confusion you have in your life. But the process of planning made them question everything. Take a good look at all the things you are doing. they surely would have been in serious trouble. We have no control over others or outside circumstances. Are there some activities that are not really important? Are there some things that you are doing out of habit? Do you belong to © Teach the Soul – 2007 70 . you have lots of clutter in your life. no matter what the enemy. Spend your time learning and growing. They tried to prepare for all contingencies. It may be your desk. You will be better prepared for the future.
If you are like most people. Again. We let celebrity news events distract us. we choose both. But having too many options really keeps us from developing a very narrow focus. you have way too many options. We also have far too many distractions. If I asked you what was necessary for failure. Rather than choose between belonging to organization A or club B. We spend too much time in meetings. We let friends distract us. Take the time now to rid your life of some of the clutter that is draining your time and energy. how would you answer? That is an interesting question. think about the times that they experienced failure. This © Teach the Soul – 2007 71 . We have too many options. We have too many television programs to choose from and spend too much time being distracted by TV programs.some clubs or other organizations that take a lot of time and energy but produce little value in your life? You will need lots of time and energy to focus on the things you really want. What was the one thing they all had in common? If you have children or employees. I would like you to think about it for a few minutes. What is necessary for failure? To help you. On the one hand it might seem like a blessing to live in so much abundance where we can pick and choose. If you truly want to achieve your goals. Most of us find it difficult to make choices. You are not going to come up with the answer just off the top of your head. if you truly want to achieve your goals. you need to reduce the number of distractions and the time and energy they consume. you will need to narrow your focus. you might think back on some of the bigger failures in your life. social events and in front of the computer monitor.
It might be helpful to look beyond the excuses and try to understand what we are attempting to accomplish with the excuses and what about the excuses contributes to the failure. they are still excuses. the one thing that all failures had in common was excuses. It was not our fault. And the excuses can run from the bland to the unbelievable. mine. That is a learning experience. So we don’t have to feel bad. Well the answer will surprise you. they are still excuses. What is absolutely necessary for failure? I am sure that right now you are scratching your head and wondering what can possibly be common to all failures. And that is exactly why it is a failure. They often start with something like. it can not be considered a failure.will take a bit of thinking. we will not learn from them. in a group or with a client … no matter what. But here it is. And if we do not learn. If we do not take responsibility for our actions. Excuses. At least in our own mind we have rationalized our actions. Just think about it. All the failures I have been associated with. If we can shift the responsibility to someone or something else. First. But in the end. But it is all too common. in my opinion that is not a failure. © Teach the Soul – 2007 72 . It is not our fault. it truly was a failure. When you learn. we protect our ego. take full responsibility and learn from it. “I thought …” or “I didn’t know … “or “How was I to know …”. the excuse is an attempt to shift the responsibility. Now we all make mistakes. And if you admit to your mistake. when you strip them down to the bare essentials. It really does not matter how simple or elaborate they are.
we’d make a lot fewer mistakes. And because we would be learning from our mistakes. The more people you can enlist to help you.But if in trying to protect the ego. stop and think. The first is expanding your list of contacts. Some might © Teach the Soul – 2007 73 . the quicker and easier it will be to achieve your goals. Are you giving up a real learning opportunity to escape short term embarrassment? So start right now and eliminate excuses from your life. we took full responsibility and learned from our mistakes? Excuses would vanish. Some tools As you start to work on achieving your goals. Do not be afraid that these people are too big or too important to help you. we refuse to really learn. Don’t start by making new contacts on the same level you are. If you are looking to grow and looking for folks to help you grow. You will rarely achieve all your goals working by yourself. Next time you begin to offer an excuse. there are some tools that will help you along the way. And so would failures. that truly is a failure. We are quite creative in inventing excuses and at times actually give ourselves a pat on the back for coming up with “acceptable excuses”. So the one thing all failures have in common is excuses. we refuse to take responsibility. you need to find people who are further along the path to success than you are. How much better off would each of us be if every time we made a mistake.
out of mind” is true. This could be a bi-monthly or monthly progress report. find some method to maintain contact. The old saying. While at first some mentors will be willing to help with little or no thought of return favors. But if you find a mentor that will give you a couple of hours per month. Don’t try to fool them or make excuses for your lack of progress. a short telephone call every couple of weeks or a periodic email. One of the things you must do is get good at observing what successful people do. If you are showing progress. doing what you have committed to do. Find some ways to be of service to those who are helping you. If you don’t maintain contact you will lose contact. they will cease offering any help. They will also point you in the right direction and give you some guidance. taking responsibility for your own actions and are not really serious. you will have found a gold mine. But the majority of truly successful people are willing to help those who are totally dedicated to improving their lives. Treasure it like one. “Out of sight. If you are going to seek help from successful people. And never make the mistake of just calling on connections when you need something. It should be clear to you that © Teach the Soul – 2007 74 . don’t ride the good horse to death. Now do not expect them to baby sit you. But most will be willing to share some ideas and insights with you. Once you have this list. you must honor their time and advice. it is highly like that the mentor will introduce you to additional valuable resources. You need to make a list of all the possible contacts and connections that might help you along your path. But at the first sign that you are not doing the work. Always be looking for ways to help others.feel that way.
be sure you have them with you. I am not talking about the exceptions. Even though I had my basic tools. Develop the habit of being dependable. average person and expect to command higher than normal compensation. The first time you ask. I was on a job with one other new accountant. they probably do not realize and could not give you a good answer. You must engage in a process of constant learning and improvement. The manager opened his briefcase and gave him a pencil. If you ask them. But not before he delivered a very stern lecture. people should be able to count on you. You can not be run of the mill. You must become an expert in your chosen line of work. you are fired. you need a pencil. I never forgot that lesson. Learn to observe. When you commit to something. Whatever the tools of your business. Assuming that part of your goal is about financial success. When I first started working as an accountant. He said if you are going to be doing accounting. Be on time and be prepared. The other new accountant went to our manager and asked for a pencil. They don’t act or live like the majority of people.successful people do not do what the majority of people do. I did not escape the lecture. Now I know that things come up from time to time making it impossible for you to do what you had agreed to do. This means that you do not settle for the minimum educational and training requirements. that is okay. The next you need to ask for the basic tools needed to do the job. then you must excel at your chosen profession. Being dependable means being totally prepared. I am talking about being dependable in everyday matters. So you need to find out what they do that is different. © Teach the Soul – 2007 75 .
listening and attending meetings. You must learn to share your knowledge with others. One of the keys to achieving your goals is to be fully committed. That is. This is not as hard as you might think.If your plan is to make above average income. you must be fully committed to your success. That is good but you will not get out in front by just reading. The only way I know is to take a systematic approach. This can be reading books. spend about half hour to one hour per day in concentrated study aimed to improve your skills in your field. Going at your goals in a © Teach the Soul – 2007 76 . Your level of Desire Soon you will be starting to take action towards achieving your goals. By sharing your knowledge. At first you will simply be absorbing information. we are hollow. then you will need to be an above average person in your field. listening to CDs. You will need to become a teacher. you will become the person people turn to when they need your knowledge and experience. But it will not happen by magic. Epictetus If you expect to achieve extraordinary success. watching DVDs and attending seminars and workshops. A half-hearted spirit has no power. Unless we fully give ourselves over to our endeavors. superficial people and we never develop our natural gifts. Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes.
develop the habit of “Do It Now”. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. everyone would be successful. Talent will not. you would be better off giving up now. Do not let things stack up on you. That is. You can absolutely count on some bumps in the road and some setbacks. And as soon as you get behind on your goals schedule it is all too easy to become overwhelmed. If you put things off. You must develop a bias for action. Here is where the “ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If it were a cake walk. Calvin Coolidge If you have the commitment.half-hearted effort will never give you what you are seeking. You have to go “all in”. You can stay ahead of the game by taking action each and every day. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. you will lose the enthusiasm for doing them. If you are not willing to fully commit. nothing is more common that unsuccessful men with talent. Here is where the strength of your commitment really shows. Your commitment must be strong. That does not mean it is impossible. they fold their tent and go home. © Teach the Soul – 2007 77 . You must make a strong commitment to your goals. when you feel like quitting. unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. A lot of people will start strong and then when they meet the least bit of resistance.” Don’t let yourself get behind. you will need some extra reserves to push you through the resistance. the world if full of educated failure. Other things will come up and you will slip behind. Genius will not. you will have no trouble with this last point. It does mean that when you meet resistance. Some people have used the mantra of TNT – Today Not Tomorrow. You can look at your goals and get a feeling of helplessness.
consumerism is rampant. In western society. Now every high school student will write in their essays that happiness does not come with acquiring things.” If you take small actions each day. a county or beach home. you have a lot of material items on your goals list. There is nothing wrong with those goals. We horde things. It might be a newer. In short. we have been sold the idea that happiness comes with achieving a certain level of financial success. before you know it you will be realizing your goals. We have come to believe that we will achieve happiness when we get a certain amount of money in the bank. If you try to do it all at once. We buy expensive gadgets with the expectation that they will bring us a certain degree of happiness. We buy much more than we need or can properly use. “How do you eat an elephant?” “One bite at a time. are able to send our children to the proper schools and colleges. you’ll never be able to choke it down. a bigger house. happiness can only be found within. But our actions and our words are not in harmony. © Teach the Soul – 2007 78 . working hard to achieve them and the finding out that they really did not bring the satisfaction you had hoped and expected. You probably have also listed a certain amount of liquid assets (cash and securities) which is intended to provide a certain degree of security. One last thought about your goals If you are like most people. There is no point in setting goals. Even some adults will say they firmly believe that. more expensive automobile. But it probably would be helpful to examine your reasons for wanting those goals. We say one thing and do another. have a certain size house in the proper area of town.It is like the old question.
Our ego is very fragile. © Teach the Soul – 2007 79 . Make sure that what you are doing is doing something for the betterment of mankind and the world. The new always wears off. crash and then you need something bigger to get you high again. then we somehow feel inferior. It is like a drug addict. Why do we feel the need for all these latest and greatest gadgets? It is because of our ego. cannot be your motivational force. you will be on a circular chase that is never ending. Same as with drugs. I am strongly suggesting that you understand that material possessions should not. You get high. And the acquisition of things soothes the ego on a short-term temporary basis. The more you get. And what happens when the new wears off? We need something else newer.We think we need the smallest new cell phone on the market. So here is a very important lesson that you really need to understand. When you start to feed the ego. What is the answer? You really must find your purpose in life. It drives us to protect its feelings. Find something where you are contributing more to life. If we don’t have the latest and greatest. Now I am not for a minute suggesting that you forgo all material possessions. bigger and better. We also know we need the largest screen HDTV that is made. If you engage in the pursuit of material things for the satisfaction of the ego. You really need to make certain that your contribution to the world is equal or greater than what you are taking from the world. We want an automobile that says we have made it. you are engaging in a game that you cannot win. the more you will want.
Happiness comes from ruling your ego – not from trying to satisfy it. If you choose to drive a luxury automobile. It is better if you pick one that is high on your list. you should have a very good set of goals with a specific date for accomplishing those goals. so I want you to pick a goal that will really mean something to you when you achieve it. But if you think that once you get that high priced car you will have found happiness. The ego can never be satisfied. you are going to experience a real letdown. All I am suggesting is that you be well aware of what you want and why you want it.I truly believe that you have the right to live in total comfort. You will need to make a list of all the things you will need to achieve your goal. Here is where you will separate yourself from all the goal setters and become a goal achiever. then you will be on the right road to achieving your goals and finding happiness. Action plan If you have followed the instructions to this point. Happiness truly does come from within. Now you need to devise a plan to achieve those goals. List © Teach the Soul – 2007 80 . Go to your revised list of goals and select one goal. You will never satisfy it. you have every right to drive a luxury automobile. then so long as you are providing service to the world. If you understand and accept that. You will need lots of energy to see you through to the end.
Next make a list of possible sources for the resources you do not currently possess.the skills you must acquire. The next step is to lay out a plan or road map to achieve your goals. you must do more than you have previously done. As mentioned earlier. And unless you are totally clear. Then begin to make a list of possible sources of obtaining those items you will need to achieve your goal. The best way to obtain these resources is to ask. For the mind to really perform. the mind begins to devise means of getting what you need. Then take an inventory of the skills and tools you already possess. the information you must obtain. any funds you will need. Let’s recap the steps we have taken. The first thing you need to do is to make a list of resources you need to complete your goal. In short list everything you can think of that you might need to achieve your goal. you must have focus. Achieving any goal should be a step by step process. The mind is a very complex and marvelous resource. So long as you are clear about a direction. You must move out of your comfort zone. one of the characteristics of a goal should be to stretch your abilities. Don’t fret over how or where you will get what you need. Ask your © Teach the Soul – 2007 81 . the mind will not be able to focus. Once you really get clear about what you need. You might say the mind loves a challenge. To be more. There is no point in trying to work miracles. Just become very clear about those things that you really need to achieve your goal. If you don’t have any idea where you will get some resource it is okay. But you will not achieve stretch goals in one giant leap. Just do something each day that moves you toward your goals and before long you will look back from where you started and be amazed at the progress you have made.
” You cannot be an expert in all things. Ralph Waldo Emerson. © Teach the Soul – 2007 82 . The world can be a very giving place. Make sure there is a need for the product or service before you proceed to spend lots of money developing it. You will do much better working with a team than being a lone ranger. The lesson here is “two heads are much better than one. you will be amazed at the number of people who will be willing to help you. so shall you reap. then you will not find people anxious to help. They make lots of mistakes. If you ask in the proper manner. they take much longer and in the end the product or service is not as good as it could have been. if you are also a giver.” Do not ask without being prepared to give something in return. Here is where a lot of people go wrong. Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. Just because you are in love with your product or service does not mean that everyone else feels the same about it. Most people think they must do everything themselves. Don’t let your ego get in the way of your success. your fellow employees and anyone else you can think of. you will need to start with a product or service that you are going to provide. There are some things that others will be able to do better than you. If your goal is to become financially independent. Then you must develop the product or service. Far too many people ask without being prepared to also be a giver.friends. But if you are just a taker. And they wonder why they never get what they ask for. You must remember that “as you sow. The first step in that process is to make sure the world wants or needs the product or service that you intend to deliver. You also must prepare a detail step by step plan for achieving your goals.
And we will accept our own excuses or justification. It works. That is not accountability.There is one reason that most people do not achieve their goals. You can have an excellent product or service. Just make sure that you pick one that will really hold you accountable. make sure the friend understands the importance of holding you accountable. They do not have anyone to account to. Once you have developed your product or service. As Benjamin Franklin said. often the friend does not have the courage to really tell you like it is. but without effective © Teach the Soul – 2007 83 . “Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. If you select a friend. Emerson understood this very well when he wrote the words. “It’s the easiest thing in the world for a man to deceive himself. Often they will accept your excuses and let you off the hook. Seek out the help of others. Again.” We can make excuses about why we did not do what we were supposed to do. getting an accountability partner. the most important step is to market it. This simple step. For an accountability partner to work. You might think that you have the self-discipline that you need. They want to be able to do things that are not taking them towards their goals without having to account for it. While a friend might seem like the easy route to take. They want the luxury of being able to let their schedule slip. do not rely solely on your own experience. will do more to help you achieve your goals than anything else I can recommend. But you will never accomplish as much by yourself and you can with an accountability partner. you will need to be totally honest. Why? Most people really do not want to be held accountable. You need someone to hold your feet to the fire. This can be a coach/mentor or a friend.” You need someone to hold you accountable. Most people will not do this simple step.
marketing, it will remain your product or service. You must be able to convince other people to buy your product or service. Now that you have developed a detail plan of action, you must take action each and every day. Realize this, every thing you do, each and every day either moves you toward your goals or takes you in the opposite direction. Learn to examine your actions. Are they taking you toward your goals? If not, then they must be taking you away from your goals. Most people do some things that take them toward their goals but they also do a number of things that take them away from their goals. What happens? It is very simple. You are being pulled in two different directions. And the end result is you are not making sufficient progress toward your goals. It like a football team that makes a great play that gains 8 yards and on the next play gets penalized or set back 10 yards. The positive action was more than offset by the negative action. Learn about your negative actions and eliminate them from your life. Success is not a destination. Success is a journey. Make sure you are constantly on the right path and that you are constantly moving forward. With your detail plan for achieving your goals, you should have measurable milestones. Each time you reach a milestone, mark it on your goal worksheet. Also you should celebrate your small victories. By acknowledging your progress, you give yourself the necessary energy to keep pushing forward.
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Fear is probably responsible for keeping more people stuck in their present circumstances than lack of knowledge or lack of money. There is lots of talk about fear but few people really take the time to understand what fear really in, how much influence it has on our lives and how you can overcome the fear. In some respects, you can think of fear a lot like you think of love. Everyone talks about it, but very few people can really explain what it is, how it affects our lives and what we can do about it. Fear comes in different shapes and sizes. Most of us think of fear as some outside event that causes all our vital signs to go off the charts. That is simply one aspect of fear. There is no question if we happen to get caught in the crossfire of a
© Teach the Soul – 2007
shoot-out between some rival drug dealers, we would experience that sort of fear. But that type of fear is usually short lived. The circumstances that cause that type of fear normally do not last long. And once the threat is removed, we no longer experience that time of fear. But that is not the most damaging type of fear. It is the fear of failure and the fear of success that really keep us trapped in what is all too often called our comfort zone. I have a lot of trouble with the term comfort zone. Very few people are truly comfortable. I think the term really means that we would rather deal with the devil we have than deal with the devil that we might get if we did something to change our circumstances. Changing our circumstances involves dealing with the unknown. And for most of us, that involves a certain amount of fear. We need to understand that fear is perfectly normal. It is the body’s built in self-preservation method. This is some build in instinct that we have possessed for ages. But is something is unknown, the ego senses fear. Our ego is determined to save us at all cost. So if some activity is new, it will by definition involve some unknown, then the ego goes into the fight or flight mode. Since modern society does not favor either option, we are left with no alternate way to deal with the fight or flight emotions. The body has no internal way to deal with this type of fear. We can’t run and there is no enemy to fight. This fear that we can’t see and have no effective method to fight does two things. One it raises our stress levels and since the only way we can imagine getting away from the fear is to stay away from the unknown, we stay stuck. Stress levels
© Teach the Soul – 2007
We need to go back a few thousand years to the days of the cave man to get a basic understanding of what is going on with stress in our everyday life. When the caveman encountered the unknown. We can feel our pulse rate soar as our © Teach the Soul – 2007 87 . The threats are to our ego. We all have this vague notion of stress but most of us do not understand what really causes the stress and how our bodies respond to it. He would evaluate the potential danger of the situation and make the decision to fight or flee. The adrenaline gland produces energy boosting secretions and the immune system shuts down. most times we are not in danger of an accident. But for most encounters we cannot physically fight or run. Today. Most of the encounters today are not threats of physical harm. if it did not survive the immediate threat. There was no need for the long-term immunity system to be using up precious body resources. most of the encounters with the unknown are not life threatening. he needed energy. If he was going to run. the adrenaline gland would release a burst of energy. After all. In either case. So as soon as he sensed some sort of danger. But our body reacts the same way. All the body’s energy was turned to immediate survival. When someone cuts in front of us on the freeway. When this happened. the immune system would shut down. If he was going to fight. there would be no need for the long-term immunity system. but we have this surge of anger because we believe that the offending driver violated our rights.Our increased stress level is responsible for the vast majority of medical problems in the United States. he had two choices – he could stand and fight or he could run for his life. the body needed a surge of energy. he needed the burst of energy to propel him away from the danger.
Miguel Cervantes © Teach the Soul – 2007 88 . Except for our typical hand salute and a few choice words that are only heard by us and any occupants of our car. We could be on the receiving end of a complaint or unreasonable request from our boss. We have our idea of how the world should work. We become frustrated and angry. But our options for immediate redress are very limited. The problems in today’s society are different.heart pumps faster. The truth is our lives are filled with stressful situations – situations that are not going the way we want them to do. There is no one to physically fight and there is no place to run. we are generally helpless. Yet our bodies are still reacting to the flight or fight design that has been outdated for centuries. we become stressed. Again. And when things happen that do not conform to our ideal world. Actually it is even worse than that. the way we are dressed or some other negative comment about us. Now when we start to imagine things that could happen that is just another way to describe fear. the adrenaline system starts to work but it is all for naught. If could be a co-worker saying something about what we did. A similar situation occurs when we are on the phone trying to resolve a dispute concerning a purchase we made or a charge to our account. Fear is sharp sighted and can see things underground and much more in the skies. Our typical day is filled with other situations like the above two examples. The person on the other end of the line will not listen to our problem. We begin to imagine things happening that are not in accordance with our ideal world and we get stressed out.
We became afraid to express ourselves. The can be a self-fulfilling exercise. you will fall and break a leg.” And of course the list goes on and on. Fear of failure Our fear of failure often prevents us from even trying to achieve a goal. “Don’t climb that tree. To some extent we can probably trace part of this fear back to our parents. But by constantly repeating these and other similar phrases. only 5% tested creative. © Teach the Soul – 2007 89 .When we start projecting things that might happen. Don’t make waves. generally we are anticipating the worst. they were ever vigilant about telling us of the dangers inherent in trying new things. We let our imaginations run wild. Now of course it did not stop with our parents. When we went off to school there was this unspoken directive – fit in. If you are “different” you will attract attention – and it will not be good. We were taught to fit in. But testing the same children when they were in the 12th grade. All of these things that we heard as children hundreds of times were meant to keep us safe. Failing to take action is at times carries more risk than taking action. We can fear something and then get stuck in a no action mode.” “Don’t talk to strangers. We went to great efforts to lose ourselves in the crowd. Do not stand out from the crowd. In an effort to protect us and keep us safe. There have been studies that showed that 95% of the children in the first grade tested highly creative. you never know what might happen. they drummed caution into our heads.
As we approached the school she said. Yet we have been taught to rely on our information and knowledge. It was a demand. I asked if anyone was going to be in the seventh grade.But we know if we are going to design an extra-ordinary life. she was not her usual bubbly self. we are afraid to stand out. We must be our own unique person. She became a guide for my daughter for the day. But because of years of conditioning. we cannot be part of the crowd. “You are not going to just drop me off are you?” It really was not a question. We must stand out. After the second try. took her by the hand and we approached a group of students that appeared to be about her age. So I parked the car. The school we picked out was much larger and across town. So how do we over come fear? The first thing you need to understand that fear is an emotion. Everything was new and she would not know anyone there. © Teach the Soul – 2007 90 . She wanted some support. Our daughter had gone to a private school from Pre-K through the sixth grade. In short we have been conditioned to be a logical. But logic will never be more powerful than emotion. I explained that my daughter was new there and needed someone to show her around. thinking person. So for the seventh grade. We want to blend in. She was very quiet. As I was driving her to class on that first day. she had to start at a new school. which was the highest grade the school offered. one bouncy young girl stepped forward and introduced herself. Let me relate a little story that will illustrate this concept.
let me illustrate with a little story. We only had kerosene lanterns. It was like the chair was wearing the shirt. We lived in a rent house in a rural area.What are the lessons from this incident? More than you might think. First you must understand that my daughter was frightened with the prospect of going to a school where everything was totally new. If we can bring the unknown to the known. This actually happened to me when I was about six years old. I had opened my shirt and hung it over the back of the chair. Her new little friend gave her the emotional support she needed. Fear is an emotion. Identify fear Even though fear is an emotional response. When you are dealing with someone in a situation where they are experiencing fear. I solved the problem by finding a buddy that she could connect with. Emotions always overrule logic. Again. Logic or reasoning really will not overcome fear. trying to overcome the fear with rational reasoning is useless. The pants were laid down on the seat of the chair and © Teach the Soul – 2007 91 . but we did not have electric lights in that particular house. Now this might be difficult for you to believe. What difference do you think it would have made for me to explain for hours on end that there would be plenty of other new students in the same situation? I can tell you it would have made no difference. It will not work. Well there was a chair in my bedroom and rather than hang my clothes on a rack. then the fear goes away. it is sometimes helpful to dig deeper and try to expose our fears for what they are.
I am not saying you should not try. In the dim light. you will probably find that your fears are actually baseless. When we are in the grips of fear. I just know for some people. There was nothing of value to steal. it will not work. If I had thought rationally. But that is one of the problems with fear. Well I awoke in the early morning hours and when I looked in the direction of the chair. Arrange those items from the least likely to the most likely outcome. Of course I had forgotten that I had carelessly decorated the chair with my clothes. I begin to see that my fears were baseless. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. I was imagining all sorts of sinister things that a burglar could be doing sitting there in the chair. If you are reluctant to move ahead on a project or idea. So if you are fearful about taking action and you can rationally dig deeper concerning your fear. Then consider all the bad things that might happen. On the other side. But here is one exercise that you should do. Well as morning broke and the light improved. I might have concluded that any self-respecting burglar would never break into a house such as ours. In fact I really urge you to try to examine your fears. On one side. it looked like a person was sitting there. list all the unpleasant things that might come about from the failure of the project. This is a method of evaluating the risk. my fear was real.draped down toward the floor. Now let me tell you. It was only my clothes. list all the good that you expect to gain from completion of the project. rational thinking never enters into the picture. here is one way to try and overcome the fear. But asking someone who is experiencing fear to examine the fear rationally is a tall order. If the most likely negative outcome is not that bad and the most likely positive outcome brings you © Teach the Soul – 2007 92 .
We allow ourselves to make excuses for our lack of accomplishments. which we all too readily accept. You must be fully committed to achieving your goals. If your emotional reasons for achieving your stated goals are strong enough. You need a strong belief in yourself and your abilities. you will be in a stronger position next time you are faced with a similar situation. By having someone that we respect hold us accountable. you need a strong emotional reason to achieve a goal that will move you to where you want to be. this should give you ample reason to proceed. This is simply a method of bringing your fears into the light. Often we are not able to discipline ourselves. Keep in mind that even if the worst case should actually happen. it should overcome the fear. we stand a much better chance of accomplishing our goals. If you do fall flat on your face but learn from your mistake. How do you develop strong emotional reasons for achieving your goals? This is basically intrinsic motivation. You can enlist the assistance of an accountability partner. Desire for gain As we have discussed before. © Teach the Soul – 2007 93 . It is much more difficult for us to fabricate an excuse for our accountability partner than it is for us to con ourselves. Looking at the worst case and the probability that it will or will not happen will often give you enough comfort to proceed.satisfactory results. You need to truly believe that what you are going after is the right thing for you to do and to do anything less would be settling for less than your full potential. it is probably not the end of the world.
One last method There is one final method I can suggest for overcoming your fears. For example. Now while we think of it as being Japanese.If you choose to use an accountability partner. This one can best be described as the kaizen way. you need to examine your desires concerning that goal. we will let our fears keep us from taking the action that must be taken to achieve that goal. If rationally looking at your fears will not dissolve them. The name comes from the Japanese method of quality control. then you need to do your best to make sure that the emotional reasons for achieving your goals are strong enough to push you forward through your fears. Now we might not really have a strong desire to have that much money. If we are not fully committed to that goal. an American. You need to give them adequate thought. We are often setting these goals for someone else. © Teach the Soul – 2007 94 . It does no good to have someone who will not really hold you accountable. and I highly recommend you do. Is it a goal that you truly want? Why do you want it? What are the benefits of obtaining that goal? What are the penalties for not obtaining it? How will your life change with or without achieving the goal? These are tough questions and are not to be answered lightly. we might set a goal to have a million dollars within five years. you must choose one that will not let you off the hook too easily. If you are consistently having trouble achieving a goal. it was actually exported to Japan by Edward Deming. We set them because we feel like we are supposed to. At times we set goals that we truly do not believe in or are not committed to. we might not believe that we are capable of having that much or we might not believe that we deserve to have that much money.
instead of jumping on a diet you would start so small that it would hardly be noticeable. selfimprovement program.The whole concept of the kaizen is to take small but consistent steps toward your goal. It is uncomfortable with changes and will in fact take action to make sure the changes do not come about. as a natural reaction to the changes. the way we act. Change involves the unknown. you might decide to break off the first bite and throw it away. Some people make a goal to devote one or two hours per day to such a program. instead of cutting our candy bars totally. We are probably not even aware of the fear. But if we attempt the changes using the kaizen method. Something so small that anyone could do it. that can be a bit overbearing for some people. Another example might be starting a self-development. Self-discipline would really not be required. but at an emotional level. The unknown provokes fear. Say for instance. we undertake to make massive changes in a short period of time. Let’s say you wanted to go on a diet and lose 10 pounds. Generally when we set out to make changes. Changes too small to register on the fear scale are acceptable to the ego. I totally endorse such a program. the changes will be so small that the ego does not even realize we are making changes. Therefore when we try to make substantial changes in what we are doing. Our ego is comfortable with life as it is. we bring about fear. Your mind will take that as a major change and while you might not recognize it as fear. our ego resists the changes. Let me give you a specific example. But if you used the kaizen method. And if you start out trying to devote an hour per day you might carry it out for a week or © Teach the Soul – 2007 95 . your mind will work to keep things as they are. However.
The more you know the less that is unknown. The more we learn about what we fear. Just make sure the accountability partner will truly hold you accountable.two before you totally abandoned the idea. you will get there © Teach the Soul – 2007 96 . fear is an emotion and rarely will we be able to rationally overcome our fear by saying there is nothing to be afraid of. And the last method is the kaizen method. And if you keep up the five minutes until it becomes an ingrained habit. the less there is to fear. If the emotional drive toward your goal is stronger than the fear. you might start with five minutes per day. You may also find emotional support by using an accountability partner. So the very first step in overcoming fear is to understand as much as you can about what you are fearful of. Fear would have been behind the abandonment. To recap. the less hold it will have on us. But you would have done it so gradually you never would have induced the fear of the unknown. it would then be easy to expand to 10 minutes per day. Get it out in the open and see the reality of what you fear. But if you employed the kaizen method. Be sure you have strong emotional drives that will propel you to our goals. Your mind would have generated excuses not to continue. There are three basic methods to overcome fear. Often we fear the concept or the shadow rather than the reality. Set the steps so small that anyone could do them. It is the unknown that we fear. The second method is to make sure we are totally committed. So the more we know. Now anyone should be able to devote five minutes per day to self-improvement. First is to examine the fear. you will have no trouble doing what is needed. By taking small but consistent steps to achieve your goals. Gradual small steps would eventually get you to the hour or two hours per day that would be your ultimate goal.
And unfortunately we allow more and more things to become urgent. They are always put off until tomorrow.” You probably have seen some books or courses on time management. I don’t know where the day went. You must stop letting the minutes slip away from you. the more likely we will become overwhelmed at all the important things that need to be done. tasks and your commitments. We often let the urgent take control of our lives and therefore put off the really important task until some future time. “Make each day count. Manage your projects. I am too busy. Adopt the motto. Time One of the most often heard phrases today is. Accept that you can only manage yourself. If you are going to be successful in life. The end result is none of the important things ever get done.” Of course there are lots of variations of that phrase. Time cannot be saved or compressed. “I don’t have any time. © Teach the Soul – 2007 97 . Give up on the idea of managing time. And of course – time flies.much faster and if the steps are small enough. The truth is we cannot manage time. you must learn to get the most value out of your day. there will be no fear involved. You have some control over how you choose to use your time. The more important things we allocate to some future time period.
It is common for us to handle these urgent tasks without regard to the value of the task. The very best way to make sure that we are handling things in their order of importance is to plan our time. if it is at the expense of something that is 5 or 10 times more important. he would gladly pay him any reasonable sum he requested. he told the president that he could show him how to improve the productivity and profit of the organization by identifying what needed to be done. we just put it on top of the list and get it done. And often there is some small task to be accomplished as a result of the call. There is a story told about a management consultant who was trying to secure a consulting job for a major steel manufacturing company. He was pitching the president of the steel company of the value of his services.For most of us a ringing telephone or cell phone is an urgent matter. He asked the president to take out a pencil and paper. the president further told him that if he could show them a system for doing what they knew needed to be done.” As the story goes. While there is something to be said for getting things done. The consultant replied that was a fairly easy task. It must be answered. As part of his sales presentation. the consultant asked him to put those items in their order of importance. He further © Teach the Soul – 2007 98 . The president reportedly replied. Normally we do not stop and gauge the value of the task. You must learn not to let the urgent take precedence over the important. We just don’t have the time to do what we know needs to be done. Then to list the six most important tasks he needed to accomplish tomorrow. Once he had listed the six items. “We know what needs to be done. We need to decide on our most important tasks and rank those tasks in order of importance. it is not the best use of your time.
television and other such unimportant activities. If he could not finish item number one because he was waiting on someone else for more information or action. When that happens. there is the tendency to work on the easy items first to get them off the list. We think that we must stop whatever we are doing and give our full attention to the telephone. The most common time vampires are the telephone. There are a couple of points worthy of mentioning. But if you never get to those unimportant tasks. You will notice that he limited his to do list to six items. You need to list your tasks in the order of importance and spend your time and energy on the most important things first. Well the president meet with so much success using this system. he was not to stop work on item number one for any reason. it might have © Teach the Soul – 2007 99 . it is okay. you can go to the other tasks that need to be done. While it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are making progress by crossing things off our list. Be on the lookout for time vampires. Often we allow the telephone to rule our activities. emails. 30 and even 50 items on their to do list. You need to always make sure you are working on the important tasks. But so long as he had all the information. then put it aside and work on item number two. I have seen people that had 20. it is reported that the voluntarily sent the consultant a check for $25.000 for that simple but highly effective system. interruptions by co-workers. Time vampires suck up your time. we are not working on the most important things.instructed the president that when he arrived at work tomorrow morning he was to work on item number one and stick with it until it was finished. If you finish the important tasks and still have time. A few years ago.
If you give up control of your time. If you work in an office. If you have your co-workers collect all their questions and schedule a fixed time to go over them. It is difficult to estimate the time lost in starting and stopping whatever you might have been working on. you can gather any information you need to complete the call. or worse yet. have it so that you get notified every time you receive a new email. Then return the call on your schedule. Most emails are simply not that important. getting everyone together for a schedule meeting ensures that everyone gets the same information together and reduces the time lost in individual explanations. Most email is not so important that it needs to be answered immediately. It is best to have designated time for scheduled meetings to discuss projects than to be interrupted ever time a question arises. Let’s say that you © Teach the Soul – 2007 100 .been more important to answer each and every call. That is simply not the case now. you are giving up control of your life. If you have more than one person who reports to you or works on a peer level. you will save a tremendous amount of time. This forces the caller to leave a message about the nature of the call and if the call is important to you. Don’t fall into the habit of letting email become a time vampire. Email can be a real time vampire if you check your email every hour or so. The important lesson concerning time vampires is you must control your time. It is much more productive to let most calls go to voice mail. One of the most effective methods of effectively utilizing your time is to block out time for certain tasks. interruptions from co-workers can really suck up your time. It is a real time saving technique to check and answer your email once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Do not let other control your time.
inspirational. I must warn you. it is not. But the rewards are well worth it. the value of time blocking lies in not allowing anything encroach on your designated activity during the allocated time period. it sounds like making good use of your time.own your own business. Most marketing is hit and miss. you will be able to accomplish a lot more than normal. If you block out one morning and one afternoon each week to concentrate on marketing and then focus your attention on that task. There is a saying that I really like – wherever you are. be there. To a large extent. If you are doing some mundane task like folding envelopes you might be able to © Teach the Soul – 2007 101 . There are a few activities where it makes sense to engage in multi-tasking efforts. or even while someone is talking to us. As the business owner. You will need to discipline yourself and train those who work with you. you will see remarkable improvements in your marketing efforts. one of the most important tasks you have is marketing. While in theory. But by blocking out the time and not letting anyone or anything interrupt you. Where ever you are. be there. One that I highly recommend is to listen to educational. That simply means give your full attention to whatever you are doing. We might be checking out email while we are on the phone. at first this will be a bit of a challenge. We probably are all guilty of attempting to multi-task at some time during the day. Do not let anything short of a real emergency interrupt your time blocks. Multi-tasking is one of the buzz words in our daily life. motivational audio programs while you are driving.
Focus all your energies on the task at hand. If you are truly not interested in what the other person has to say. give them your full attention.listen to audio programs. Associates © Teach the Soul – 2007 102 . shopping or engaged in any number of other activities and on their cell phone. It is not the way to save time. check your email or other such task while talking on the phone. It is very easy to look around and spot someone dining out. Generally the other person will pick up on your lack of total attention. If you are attempting to do paperwork. in some cases it is downright rude and in most cases it is only partially engaged in two very different activities. focus on the activity at hand. driving. But anything where you are interacting with others. The term multi-task meant to be able to switch from one project to another with ease. You will do a much better job in less time by giving your full attention to the main task. tell them in as polite a manner as possible. In some cases it is just poor manners. A lot of people think that it means trying to do two things at once. at best you do both poorly. It does not bode well for building relationships. The vast majority of the time you attempt to do two things at once. you are not fully engaged in the task of attentively listening to the other person on the phone. It is not the most effective use of ones time and attention. If the other person is worth listening to.
But since you actually have no control over what anyone else does. It is difficult enough to change yourself. It is your reaction to their actions. you must not let their actions derail yours. I am not saying that you must like all or any of the things the troublesome relative does. then take what ever steps are needed to distance yourself from the relationship. Let’s face it. There are some circumstances when you will need to break away from some family members. If they are engaged in selfdestructive behavior and it has the potential to involve you. So save all your energy and efforts for yourself. Often we do not make a conscious choice about the people we associate with. The people you associate have way too much influence on your life to leave this to chance. You need to proactively decide on the people you will associate with in life. we all probably have one or two relatives. The first thing you need to remember is you are not going to change them.Your life will be determined to a large part by the people you choose to associate with. While you cannot change anyone. I have often been asked for advice on how to handle a negative family member or other relative. some closer than others that we would gladly trade in if only there were an outlet for them. We tend to associate with the people we meet at work or people we meet by accident. Learn to accept what they do with calmness. It can be very difficult to design your life when you are surrounded by family and relatives who are working to keep you the way you are. it is © Teach the Soul – 2007 103 . If they are doing things that are detrimental to your well being then you cannot passively sit by and watch. The second thing to remember is their actions really do not affect you. You have no ability to change another person.
Also look for people who wan to be more and achieve more from life. While they generally do not expect direct compensation. Explain that you would like to learn from them and ask if they are willing to give you some time and guidance on a regular basis. Most successful people are more than happy to mentor sincere.foolish to stay in harms way when you know that eventually their actions will directly affect you. Don’t let them drag you down. you can escape their influence. Show up on time for your appointments and be totally prepared for the session. Always come prepared to learn. You need to be careful to avoid dependency relationships. These are the people you want to be your mentors/role models. How do you form new more valuable relationships? The first step is to take a look at what you aspire to become. Find out as much about them as you can. If you personally know someone that you want to mentor you. You control how you react to things. the best thing is to simply give them a call. These will be peer type relationships. It is helpful if you bring a specific agenda and stay focused on it. dedicated people. you must honor their time and experience. Do not ask someone to be your mentor and then disagree with their guidance. learn to block out their negative comments and actions. do not let people © Teach the Soul – 2007 104 . Even if you cannot escape their company. You must avoid people who want to make you dependent on them. Then look for people who have already achieved what you want to become. If your family and relatives are just an annoyance and not a real impediment. At the same time. These will be your mentors. What should you look for in a relationship? Look for people who have already achieved what you aspire to become.
When we think of those associates that will have a major influence on our lives. You must be a giver. In addition when you engage the services of a mentor/coach. boot camps and seminars in your chosen field. You will be repaid many times over. You want to associate with people who are independent yet understand and appreciate the value of working with others. you must make it a point to get to know the other people in attendance and then once you have returned from the program. As you move up in life. That is paid mentors or coaches. Actually this is something that you are going to need to get over if you truly want to be highly successful. To truly gain the maximum value. Don’t wait until you need something © Teach the Soul – 2007 105 . It works both ways – you need to associate with those who are where you want to be and those who want to be where you are. One other thing you should do is to look for professionally sponsored educational workshops. They can help you rapidly accelerate your success. be quick to support and help others who are trying to improve themselves. There is no better way to help yourself than to help others. They think they are too expensive. The connections you will gain will often prove much more valuable that the cost of the services.become dependent on you. I have found on many occasions that the value of the contacts I make at such events far exceeds the cost of attending the programs. conferences. normally you will gain access to many other like minded individuals. we generally think of friends and coworkers. Most people are not willing to pay the price for mentors or coaches. follow-up with all the contacts you made. The right mentor/coach will return many times the cost of their services. But there is one other category that you should not overlook.
Yet as important as many people try to make money. If something is that important. Build the relationship and then when you need some help. “Money does not grow on trees.from the people you met. Somerset Maugham It seems like money is on everyone’s mind. Or perhaps it is more correct to say the lack of money. it will be there. but I can tell you some of the more popular things that most of us were taught about money in our childhood.” © Teach the Soul – 2007 106 . They tend to measure success in terms of money. Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. I cannot know what stories you heard about money when you were a child. Many people make money a very important part of their lives. truly understand what money is and how to obtain the money the need. you would think that people would have a better attitude about money. Your attitude about money was probably heavily influenced by how your parents viewed money. very few people really understand what money is and how it is earned. Making Money There is nothing so degrading as the constant anxiety about one’s means of livelihood. People are constantly preoccupied about money or the need for more money in their lives. W.
It is not dirty. it would be as follows: You have to work really hard for money. which is scarce.“Money is the root of all evil.” Like somehow having money made one dirty. (The Bible verse says. Wanting money is evil. And in fact it can seemingly grow on trees or out of thin air. The people working with a shovel or doing other demanding back breaking work generally are on the lower end of the economic ladder.” Like accumulating money above a certain amount must involve some illegal activity. So what is money? First I will say what money is not. Money is dirty and having too much probably means you were engaged in some illegal activity.”) “They are filthy rich. We were all taught some or all of those lessons. Hard work generally does not guarantee a sufficient amount of money. Money is actually not scarce at all. Actually the people that work the hardest are generally at the lower end of the economic scale. Having a lot of money does not mean you were involved in anything illegal. The folks in the white shirts that only © Teach the Soul – 2007 107 . All giving us a totally incorrect view of money. “The love of money is the root of all evil.” If you were to summarize all the attitudes about money that most of us heard when we were children. And there is no correlation between hard work and money. “Your father has to work hard for his money. I’ll explain that a little later. “They have more money than the law allows.
break a sweat on the handball or tennis court generally make multiples of the income of the hardest working class. You probably have a few dollars in your purse or wallet and can easily recognize that as money. So for the workers in the © Teach the Soul – 2007 108 . It is not your time. You are getting paid for the value you bring to that hour. it is the value you bring to the marketplace during and it is measured in a period of time. But do you really understand at a deeper level what money is? If you want to increase your level of money. You may know it but do you apply that knowledge in your life? Let’s talk about your job. You cannot design your life to have all the money you want or need if you do not understand this concept. It makes commerce much easier because then it is not necessary for us to barter our services for the things we need. Now you may be thinking that explanation is rather simple and you already knew that. How does the marketplace determine the value of your time? By the complexity of the job you perform and the amount of time it takes to train someone to do the job and the number of people capable of doing that job. Give higher value services or give the same value services to more people. you must understand what money is. Money of course is simply a medium of exchange. But you are not really getting paid by the hour. But the money you receive is the value of the services you render. You probably get paid for a certain amount of time worked – either per hour or per month. If you want to make more money. Now you may think that you know what money is. you can do so in only two ways.
there is one question that you must answer. you have professional people who spend years in training and are not easily replaces. Money can be created out of thin air. Therefore the value they bring to the marketplace is much greater. their pay is not that much. If attaining a more affluent life is part of your design. you will see that all these people.fast food outlets or the cashier in the local supermarket. But if you look beyond the idea. artist and business executive either brought very high value to a few people or a little value to the masses of people. On the other end of the scale. you must find out how to bring more value to the market place. You can earn as much as you wish so long as you are supplying what other people want or need.” Well it is actually better than growing on trees. the writer. They got wealthy by implementing their ideas. they did not come by their wealth from their own labor. If you study most of the wealthy people. But there are software developers that have created fortunes with their intellectual ideas. They have created money from their ideas. And there are business executives that thought of new ways to do business that have become extremely wealthy in a few short years. What value can you bring to the marketplace? What unique talent or service can you provide to others? Will you concentrate on high value © Teach the Soul – 2007 109 . It takes less than a day to train them in the basics of their job and unfortunately there are always a lot of folks willing to do that job. Of course the easy examples are writers and artist that create things of great value using little more that paper and ink or canvas and paint. Now if you want to earn more. I said I would explain that money does “grow on trees.
It done correctly. But the fee can be significantly different depending on some positioning on the part of the company providing the service. that appeal only to a select few or to highly specialized situations will be able to charge significantly higher fees. the more competitive pressure there will be in the market place. And often © Teach the Soul – 2007 110 . The less selective the firm preparing the return. On the other hand. we tend to place a lower value on them. you need to make the product or service as unique as possible.000 or even higher. Let’s take an example of a service that most everyone has used – the preparation of their tax return. the outcome is the same. Some people do it themselves but a large number of people hire a professional to prepare their tax return. Since we are totally familiar with our products or services. We tend to discount the value of whatever we offer for sale. The more a product or service is reduced to a commodity. Said differently. The more people think of a product or service as a commodity – that is basically the same no matter who is selling it – the more the decision is based solely on price. In order to increase the value of any product or service. the less they are able to charge. in general their prices will be cheaper. The fees to prepare an identical tax return can run from a low of around $200 to $1.services to a select few or will you try to expand your services to the masses. I What is the value of your goods or services? This is a real problem for most people. the firms that are highly selective. if they are appealing to the mass market.
you would bill out $4. Some potential clients might not be willing to pay the higher price. Let’s say you wanted to make $200 per hour. There is one other thing you should consider. Let’s say you were doing tax returns. you probably would not get quite as much business.times the level of complexity or amount of work involved is relatively the same. How hard do you want to work for your money? Let’s consider a couple of examples. If you were going with the higher billing rate. And that is what will happen when you compete on price.000 in billings. at the lower rate and only worked 40 hours per week. Even if you only worked half time you would bring in the same dollar amount.000 per week. There are very few businesses where you can compete on price and still make good money. That means that you would need to charge $400 per each return. You stand a much better chance of being highly successful is you will concentrate on providing higher value products or services and charging accordingly. you would then charge $200 per each return you prepared. © Teach the Soul – 2007 111 . But if you choose the higher billing rate. The point of this example is to show the value of raising your rates. you might only attract enough clients to bill out 30 hours per week. Just for example. let’s say you could do one tax return every two hours. It is better to work less and make more than you wear yourself out and still not make any money. Here is where things get interesting. But at the higher billing rate. Now consider an alternate situation. If you were booked solid. There might be some price resistance. If you decided you wanted to make an average of $100 per hour. even working only 30 hours per week would bring in $6.
And to a large extent that is determined by the distribution channels available to you. © Teach the Soul – 2007 112 .How much can you earn? The amount of money you can earn will be determined by the value of the services you provide and the number of people you reach. then the potential number of customers is limited to the population within a certain radius of your base of operations. Just because you have the potential for a huge market does not necessarily mean that is the ideal market for you. if your product or service can be delivered digitally or over the phone. However. On the other hand. If your product or service requires face to face interaction. You need to be aware of the number of potential consumers of your product or services. The number of people you can reach will depend to some extent on the nature of your product or service. limiting yourself to a certain geographical area can have some serious limitations on the potential size. There are two components to making money. How do you decide on a product or service? One of the worst mistakes you can make is to develop a product or service that you are in love with only to find there are not enough people who share your views. growth and profitability of your business. The value of your services and the number of people you can reach. you have a much higher potential market.
You can decide on the value of your services. You must develop some unique approach. you will need to develop some unique product or service. Even paid focus groups can and often miss the mark when it comes to evaluating market demand.000. The people in focus groups are like most humans.000 project because they “knew” the market. Beware of asking your friends and relatives about the merits of your idea. Even though they are trying to be open and honest. Value position If you are going to segregate yourself/business from the crowd. you need to have position your product or service as something special. The only true indicator is to do market test when it requires a potential consumer to plunk down some money. energy and money on developing a product that there is insufficient demand for. Market research is the least expensive and perhaps the most important part of any project or business decision. Specialize.000 on market research on a $50. I have seen businesses reluctant to spend $50.000.You will need to do some market research before you spend a lot of time. You are probably the worst judge of the merits. Make sure you have a good market for your product before you build a business that the market will not support. But the more © Teach the Soul – 2007 113 . but ultimately the market place will decide what your goods or services are worth. And eventually they lost considerably more because the market was not ready for the product. You can be the best carpenter. It order to appeal to your market. They were not willing to ensure their bet by spending the $50. they have a built in inclination to tell you what you want to hear. Become an expert in your field. Your friends and relatives are a close second. painter or brain surgeon.
You must become an expert at marketing. you must be able to clearly establish the value of what you are offering.unique. But if your book product clearly has value beyond what is typical. Only by offering something different will you be able to charge premium prices for your products or services. you focus on the results the user will derive from the product.” Now Emerson was one of America’s brightest thinkers and writers. © Teach the Soul – 2007 114 . Some products or services have some clear upper limits on the value of the product or service. For example a typical book at Amazon or Barnes and Noble might go for $15 – 25. But that one he got completely wrong. without effective marketing – you will have lots of product gathering dust and idle time on your hands. No one will be offering exactly the same product or service you are offering. What is the most important skill in business? Emerson once said. Skills or proficiency does not determine demand for your product of service. “Build a better mousetrap but without effective marketing mice will multiply. the less the market will be able to compare you to someone down the street. How do you establish value? You don’t focus on the product. “Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. And if you want to achieve a high degree of financial success. you will need to establish that. The market cannot buy what it does not know about or value.” It does not matter how good your product or service. Not only must you be proficient in attracting customers to your product or service. you will need to charge premium prices for your services. I would alter it to read like this.
special and not available else where. You need to have a narrow market that you can segment and identify. the easier and cheaper it is to direct your marketing campaign. what would the value of that book be? Well to a brain surgeon.000 per year and the information was unique. I have met with businessmen who said their product would appeal to everyone. not much. The better you can target the potential market. Look at the proposition from the buyer’s point of view. It tells your market the benefits of your product or service. you need to develop your USP – unique selling proposition. It is much too expensive for a small company to market a mass market product.For example. Again. You will need to learn all the steps in marketing a product or service. if it could fulfill its value proposition. This is only one small aspect of marketing. This is your message to your market. The market really does not care about the features. it would surely be worth a few hundred dollars. you need to get away from the focus on the product and get the potential user to focus on the results to them. If you cannot identify a highly targeted market. But to a struggling single mom. What need or problem will your product solve for the buyer? © Teach the Soul – 2007 115 . Once you have narrowed down your target market. if your book taught a person how to start and run a business that would easily make them $75. The first step in becoming a good marketer is to get away from the position of trying to sell your product and step into the potential buyer’s position. you do not have a market. Too many people get hung up on telling all the features of the product or service. The potential user is interested in one thing – what’s in it for me – this is often shown as an acronym WIIFM. Only in this way can you afford to market to them. You need to identify your target market.
Your product or service needs to really fulfill a need in a big way. © Teach the Soul – 2007 116 . a free sample or some other sort of legitimate bribe which in turn gives the marketer permission to contact them in the future. One other thing on your marketing message – you need to make a bold promise. Today a lot of marketing is call permission marketing. This takes time. There are a couple of other things you should know. Then the marketing system begins an automated series of spaced contacts designed to build a relationship and eventually convert the person to a paying customer. Remember the potential buyer does not really care how polite you are. Again. the social proof should not be in glowing terms of how nice a person you are or how easy it is to do business with you. twice shy. it is important to cover the highlights here. Today’s consumers are highly skeptical. All they really care about is will the product or service provide the benefits you claim.You should not approach the marketing as a one shot deal. If your product or service is just average. Most have been sold some snake oil and once burnt. You need a bold promise. then you are going to have a difficult time appealing to the consumers. you have the opportunity to build trust. We identify and reach out to a target market. With each contact you have with the potential buyer. You will need to take a longer term approach to the marketing process. You will need to build a relationship with the potential buyers. So you are going to need to supply some social proof that your product produces the results you claim. Buyer’s today are not that willing to part with their money. Our marketing process ask those who are interested to raise their hands and ask for a special report. While this is far short of a complete course on marketing.
you are going to limit the amount of funds available for marketing. If you are like most marketers and squeeze all you can out of the first sale. You should understand that it is about ten times harder to sell prevention than it is to sell a cure. Life time value of a customer Most business people think the purpose of the first sale is to make a profit. be careful that you are not selecting something that has long term benefits but requires short term sacrifice. to spend the money getting the customer and making sure that customer © Teach the Soul – 2007 117 . Dan Kennedy preaches that the purpose of the first sale is to get a customer. People are not willing to spend today on a benefit too far in the future. But if you learn to over deliver.Now you certainly should not make a promise that your product or service cannot live up to. That means no takers. If you understand the life time value of a customer and realize that it is a much more profitable business model to spend more money on the front end and develop more customers your business will grow faster. But unless you really have faith in your product and boldly proclaim the benefits. it may be the only sale you will make to that customer. you are going to get a ho-hum reaction from the market place. They are looking to spend their money on something that gives very short term benefits. So when selecting your product. Therefore you will be able to attract fewer customers. bigger and ultimately more profitable. Hence you will limit the size of the business. If you build your business model so that you are trying to make a profit on the first and every sale.
it is extremely easy to abuse that trust by selling them some product or service that is overpriced or misrepresented. You need to learn to look at a potential customer as the most valuable asset your business can acquire. then you will have a much higher repeat business.gets a great value proposition. But a strong customer base that believes in you and the value of your products is absolutely the biggest asset your company will ever develop. So the life time value of a customer is what they are likely to buy from you over their life as a customer. Therefore the profit margins will be much higher. you will find it much easier to sell to them again and again. it is highly unlikely they will be a huge source of referrals. Once you have developed the customers trust. And your marketing cost will be much lower. You will also need to factor in the value of the referrals a satisfied customer will make. you need to treat them with respect. You must jealously guard your position with © Teach the Soul – 2007 118 . But if you have a satisfied customer that is continually buying from you. Most of the money you spend on the marketing on the front end will not need to be spent on the second and subsequent sale. Develop customers for life Since we just learned that our customer base if the most valuable asset your business will ever develop. it is very likely that they will refer their friends and associates to you. how do you ever make it back? Well once you have a satisfied customer. And certainly since a part of your marketing campaign will ask (or bribe) them to. A lot of businesses profess that their employees is their most valuable asset. Now you might say if you lose money on the first sale. If you have a one time sale.
You can lose them in a heartbeat. If you wish to be successful you need to develop a team. There are always plenty of people helping out. it will. Who is on your team? If you could get an inside glimpse of a highly successful person’s business. Make it a point to build a highly qualified team and always be on the lookout for bright highly successful to add to your team. You will never be more successful than quality of your team. If you don’t have a team of people that are smarter and possess skills that you don’t possess. If you ever think of asking yourself if some promotion might lose a customer. Do not get taken in by the lure of short term profits.your customer base. It is very difficult to develop customers. And they wonder why they do not achieve spectacular success. © Teach the Soul – 2007 119 . You should develop a million dollar rolodex of go to people that you can count on the provide whatever help you need. It is actually much better to hire highly qualified talent on an as needed basis and hire for the specific skills needed at that time. It is not worth the risk. you would find that the success is not really a one man (or woman) show. then you better start getting a new team. Too many people fill their team with people that have the same mindset and skills as they do. It is not necessary that all or for that matter any of the team members be employees.
If you really want to succeed in life, you must develop persistence. It has been said that success leaves footprints. So study some successful people. What is one characteristic most of them have in common? If you study successful people, you will find that a large percentage of them have found a niche and stuck with it. They did not jump from one opportunity to the next. They did not chase every dream or get rich quick scheme that was presented to them. They found a niche and stuck with it. It really does not matter what area you choose to specialize in, it will take some time to establish yourself in your chosen field. You will need to learn the ins and outs of your particular business. Then depending on your marketing, it will take some time for you and the business to gain traction. You can speed it up with good marketing. But very likely, you will not start at the top of the game. Here is where most people go wrong. They try it for a few months and when they don’t meet with instant success, they think there is something wrong with their chosen field. The grass looks greener in some other pasture. But if you are going to be highly successful, you must learn to stay the course. Often people give up just when they are at the brink of a break through. If things are going a little slow, put a little more energy into the business. Giving up or switching directions too soon runs a great risk. You must learn to hang in there and be persistent. If something is basically wrong with your business model, don’t be stubborn. Learn to tell the
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difference between a structural problem with the model and an execution problem. Most problems are with the execution. We don’t do all the things we should or we don’t execute efficiently. If you are doing everything correct from an operational/marketing standpoint, then it is time to question the business assumptions.
Designing your life can be reduced to two concepts – getting clear and taking focused action. There is so much going on in each of our lives, it is often difficult for us to get really clear – and if we are not clear, focused action is simply not possible. We often get sidetracked, we become opportunistic rather than strategic, that is we jump on each and every opportunity that comes our way. There is an abundance of opportunity. But you have limited time and resources. You must decide on your highest value activities. Devote your time to making your high priority items work successfully. There is generally more money in doing one thing extremely well than in doing ten things moderately okay. The better you get at doing your particular task, the more valuable you become. If you are not achieving what you want, check on your clarity of purpose. If your purpose is clear, examine how much action you are taking toward your goals. What is holding you back?
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Achieving your goals is not nearly as difficult as most people think. If you find you are having trouble reaching your goals, you are probably doing something wrong. Here is a list you can use to find out what you might be doing wrong. 1. Are your goals written? Are they clear? Is there a specific time frame for accomplishing them? 2. Have you identified all the resources you will need to accomplish your goals? 3. Have you identified where you might find the resources you do not currently have? 4. Have you asked for help in obtaining the resources you need? 5. Have you made a step by step plan for obtaining your goals? 6. Are you following the plan? 7. Are you waffling between conflicting goals? Do you say you want something but act totally different? 8. Are you failing to take action on your plan? Why? Ask yourself why you are not doing the things you know you should be doing? 9. If you are slipping, revisit your goals. Ask yourself why you listed the goal in the first place. What outcome were you expecting from this goal? How important to you was this outcome? If you don’t have a strong “why” for each
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you will not have the driving force necessary to achieve it.and every goal. You do not want to get into the habit of listing half-hearted goals and then not putting in the effort. So re-examine your “why” for each goal. Those goals that were merely wishes should be removed from your list. © Teach the Soul – 2007 123 . You will come to accept failure as a way of life and that will destroy your drive.
You must become a student of life and if you wish to succeed in business. the least expensive method of learning and growing is to read good books. develop the habit of reading for a fixed amount of time each day. how-to business books. Reading When you are just starting out. You will do best to take a systematic approach to your reading. if you wish to achieve your full potential in life. you must become a student of business. marketing and management. you must develop a habit of continuous learning and growing. An investment that will build in value and continue paying dividends for the rest of your life. Look at them as an investment in yourself. listening to audio programs. You will need to adopt a multi-prong approach to learning and growing. Don’t look at any of these costs as expenses. You need a good understand of why people do what © Teach the Soul – 2007 124 .Additional resources As you learned earlier. This can be biographies of successful men (and unsuccessful for that matter – so you learn what not to do). That will involve reading books. at some point in your development you will need to spring for paying big bucks to personal attention. That is. While you can learn a lot and make a certain amount of progress from mentors who do not charge directly for their time and advice. You should read those types of books that will assist you in your growth. attending live programs and at some point in your development you will need to take the leap and engage mentors and coaches that will help you accelerate your growth. You should also read some psychology books.
Also round out your reading with history and philosophy. inspirational. Frankl Ralph Parlette © Teach the Soul – 2007 125 . Here are my top ten lists of business and life books: Self help.they do. motivational As a Man Thinketh How to Get What You Want My Personal Best James Allen Orison Sweet Marden John Wooden Edward L. Why we do What we do: Understanding Self-motivation Deci A Manual for Living (A Little Book of Wisdom) Epictetus Mindset: The New Psychology of Success The Power of the Subconscious Mind The Greatest Salesman in the World Carol Dweck Joseph Murphy Og Mandino Man’s Search for Meaning The University of Hard Knocks Viktor E.
Harv Eker © Teach the Soul – 2007 126 . Deming Rafael Aguayo Selling the Invisible: A Field Guide to Modern Marketing Harry Beckwith Influence: Science and Practice Robert Cialdini Think and Grow Rich Good to Great Napoleon Hill Jim Collins Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success Kevin Freiberg. Jackie Freiberg The Richest Man in Babylon The Magic of Thinking Big George Clason David Schwartz All Marketers are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-trust World Seth Godin Secrets of the Millionaire Mind T.Business books: Dr.
The following are a partial list of the programs I have listened to. As long as you are buying CDs the material should be in good condition and you can get it at a fraction of the cost. Jack Zufelt. Ron White. listen to it often. Napoleon Hill. The best way to imprint the ideas in our brain is by repetition. Denis Waitley and Jim Fay. Please understand I have only listed a fraction of what is available © Teach the Soul – 2007 127 . Brian Tracy.Audio One of the best ways to accelerate your learning is to turn your drive time into learning time. Deepak Chopra. Jack Canfield. Earl Nightingale. I am sure you can find many more. This is a partial list of programs that I recommend. Once you find a program that you relate to. Zig Ziglar. You can put any of the above names in your search engine and it will give you any number of web sites where you can buy their material. Of course. Jim Rohn. But the important point is to engage in a program of continuous learning. Psychologists tell us that we need to internalize ideas – that is make them our own – for them to really work for us. Tony Robbins. you can and should check ebay. Dan Kennedy. You can do this by listening to audio CDs while you are driving.
you have to think and act like a millionaire. And if you want to be in the circle of millionaires. There are many high level coaches that charge upwards of $10. They stay in them for one reason. When we have no other means to gauge the value of a product or service. It is very difficult for us to evaluate coaching /mentoring services. They get more out of the program than it cost. I am not trying to be mean to the shoe shine boy. Do not look at saving money in this area. then you need to seek out a highly successful coach / mentor. we often look for the least expensive coach / mentor and think we have gotten a great deal or saved some money. After all. However you will find that most of the people who get in these programs tend to stay in them. There is a need for them and I am glad that some people have decided that is their calling in life. there is no objective method of measuring one service against another. It is just that as stated before. And as a result. Often for a few dollars more you can expect a much greater return on your investment.000 per year for their inner circle coaching programs. We have been conditioned to shop for goods and services by price. Like most other products or services. You can only learn that one way. we tend to make our selection on price.Mentors/coaches You are not going to learn million dollar ideas from the shoe shine boy. your income will depend in part on the caliber of people you associate with. the price often is an indication of the quality. This is a very short-sighted approach to finding a coach / mentor. © Teach the Soul – 2007 128 . If you are looking to be among the very top income earners. Associate with them.
Just one or two new ideas can make a huge difference in your life or your business. But if you will learn one or two ideas from each event you attend. The first of course is you should learn something new each time you attend an event. Often times you will gain more value from the people you meet at events than you will get from the stage. workshops. Make it a point to really connect with three to five people. You do not need to learn 10 or 15 things to make the event worthwhile. The value is not so much in what you learn but the action you take on what you learn. There are two reasons. boot-camps. The time does not have so much to do with the size of your business and your willingness to be open to accept the coaching and to take action. make it a point to get around.I am not suggesting that you jump into one of these expensive coaching programs right off the bat. So make it a point to go to events and then once there. by itself change anything. But as you learn and grow. You should plan to attend at least one or two live programs each and every year. If you are not willing to listen and take action. The second reason to attend live events is the people you will meet. But chances are you would never meet some of the people unless you attended the events. it does not matter how much you are paying – the value will not be there. there will come a time when it is right for you. You must be willing to do the work yourself. Attend seminars. learning a new idea will not. Do not be afraid to © Teach the Soul – 2007 129 . and then implement the idea with massive action. Of course. No coach can take the action for you. Do not just hand out business cards. you will see some amazing results. Learn what they do and how you could possibly help them. You must implement the idea.
While you must keep your focus on what you want. The more you put into an event. You cannot approach your goals in a casual manner and expect to achieve them. Some people are under the mistaken impression that all you need to do is write down your goals and by keeping them in front of you they will by some magic appear. you still need a system to follow. the more active you are about making connections. you will need to follow a system. Designing Your Life Appendix A Goals Worksheet If you are going to achieve all the goals you have listed.share your knowledge. the more value you will obtain. State your goal: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ State why you want to achieve this goal: © Teach the Soul – 2007 130 . The following is a basic path to achieve any goal. You should make copies of this worksheet and use one copy for each goal.
________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What will be the changes in your life as a result of achieving this goal? How is your life going to change as a result of setting and achieving this goal? Are you prepared to learn and grow? Are you comfortable with the changes you expect from achieving this goal? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is your goal a SMART goal? Is it specific? Is there any way for you to get more specific about the goal? Remember the more specific you are. Your subconscious mind works best when the directions are very clear. You need some strong emotional reasons for wanting to achieve this goal.Remember your “why” must be strong enough to propel you to action when the going gets a little rough. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is the goal measurable? © Teach the Soul – 2007 131 . the easier it will be to obtain.
having a goal to play professional basketball is probably unrealistic. Don’t set goals that are totally out of the realm of possibilities. make you learn more and try new and different things. Are there things in your physical make-up that make achieving the goal unrealistic? For example if you are under 5 feet tall. it should not be so far that you give up before you even start. _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ © Teach the Soul – 2007 132 .How will you know when you achieved the goal? Are there milestones along the way to measure your progress? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is it attainable? Your goal needs to stretch you from where you are now to where you want to be. _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ____ Is it realistic? You must make sure that the goal you have set is realistic for you. But while the goal should stretch you.
for a major goal there a number of smaller steps that need to be accomplished in order to achieve the goal. decide on a plan of operations. For example if you were looking to start your own business. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Plan of Action Now that you are totally confident that your goal qualifies as a SMART goal we are ready to design a plan of action. determine if you wanted or needed employees. you also should have some time frames for achieving steps along the way. you would pick a market._____________________________________________________ _____ Time You must assign a time frame for achieving your goal. You need some deadlines to force you to take action. In short. If there is no specific time frame. While you need a specific time frame for achieving your goal. see if you could identify a niche within that market. So the first step in achieving any major goal is to break it down into as many small steps as possible. © Teach the Soul – 2007 133 . you will not be propelled to action. While the goal might represent the arrival of a certain point in your life or career. there are some intermediate steps to achieving each goal. etc. pick a location to run your business.
Step one:________________________________________ Step two:________________________________________ Step three:_______________________________________ Step four:________________________________________ Step Five:________________________________________ Step Six:_________________________________________ Step Seven:______________________________________ Step Eight:_______________________________________ Step Nine:________________________________________ Step Ten:________________________________________ You may be able to break your goal down into more steps. © Teach the Soul – 2007 134 . Next we will answer each of these questions for each step: What resources do I need to complete this step of my goal? Resources could be special knowledge. expert help. that is perfectly okay. the easier it should be to accomplish and the more confident you will be as you are making progress toward your goal. or any other asset necessary to complete this step. On the other hand you may find that there are not that many separate steps. money. Remember the smaller the step. just make a separate worksheet with the additional steps. If you find you want to break the goal down into more than 10 steps. If you need additional steps.
________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ © Teach the Soul – 2007 135 . you will need to make some adjustments. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What results do I expect from the above actions? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ How will I measure the results of the actions to determine if they give me my expected outcome? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What actions will I take if the results are different from those that I expected? You may not be able to answer this because the different results might have a significant influence on the actions. list the actions in logical order. Do not limit this to just your sources. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What actions do I need to take in order to complete this step of the goal? Is there a particular order to the actions I need to take? If so. guidance and help.________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Where will I obtain the resources for this particular step? Be sure to list all the sources you can think of. Just realize that if your results are different than what you expect. Ask others for assistance.
________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Who can I enlist as an accountability partner? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Am I willing to be held accountable? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ How will I inform my accountability partner of the steps to be accomplished and my work toward accomplishing the steps? © Teach the Soul – 2007 136 .What is the time allotted for completing this step? Is this time realistic? What happens if the time schedule slips? What can I do to make sure the time schedule does not slip or if it slips can I make up the time somewhere else? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What am I going to do today to move me along the path toward the achievement of this step? You need to repeat this question each and every day until this step of the plan is complete.
My suggestion is to start off with small but consistent action and gradually increase the amount of action you are taking. the quicker you will realize your goals. The more action you take. So there is a trade off between recommending massive action and consistent action. © Teach the Soul – 2007 137 . But you must decide and have a structure. Your success will be determined on the amount of action you take. Why not do them in a systematic fashion? If you do not set time deadlines and have some method to being held accountable. You will need to do all the steps anyway. If you struggle with fear. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Your initial reaction might be that this is a lot of work. weekly for others and even monthly for overall progress. The very most important step is to take consistent action toward your goals. your time frame and your commitment to your goals has a real chance of slipping.________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What time frame will we use to check my progress? This could be daily for some parts. chances are you are trying to accomplish too much in too short a period of time. then you are worse off. But if your plan of action has you taking more action than you can handle and you lapse into inaction because of fear. Actually it will ultimately result in less work and a faster and more direct path to achieving your goals.
If you find you are following the action plan but getting stuck. I invite you to contact me for additional help.The worksheet is general and is intended to cover most situations. © Teach the Soul – 2007 138 .
© Teach the Soul – 2007 139 .
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