This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
© Teach the Soul – 2007
Table of Contents Introduction
You have the power to design your life. Designing your life is a process. Nothing magic, just follow the steps
Your core beliefs determine your actions. If you want your circumstances to change, you must change your core beliefs.
Mindset is an established set of attitudes. We need to have an open mindset. A closed mindset will not allow us to expand, grow and accept new things.
Too often we do not reach our goals because we are not totally clear. You must get clear about what you want. Hitting a target requires that we know what we are aiming at.
Learn how to set goals. Learn what a SMART goal is. Set goals that are positive.
Nothing matters unless you take action on your goals. Become a person of action. Aim, fire and adjust.
Fear keeps more people from achieving their goals than lack of skill, education or money. Learn to recognize and overcome fear.
© Teach the Soul – 2007
A common complaint today is lack of time. Everyone seems to be suffering from insufficient time. You can’t manage time. You must learn to schedule, prioritize and manage your projects or tasks. You cannot manage time, you can only manage yourself.
The people that we associate with will always have a direct bearing on the quality of our lives. This is in terms of money and satisfaction. We need to choose our friends very carefully. Although we do not get much choice in who are relatives are, we do have some control over the time we spend and the influence we allow them to have on our lives.
Most people are concerned about money or the lack of money. Yet they do not study money. They really do not understand what money represents.
The most successful people are not necessarily the smartest people. The most successful people are the ones who decided on a particular path in life and stuck to it long enough to become successful.
Designing Your Life is simple and can be reduced to two concepts – Getting clear about what you want and taking focused action toward your goals.
© Teach the Soul – 2007
XXXXYYYZZZ. designing your life involves constant learning and growing.Further Study As you will learn from this book. Appendix A Goals Worksheet These are worksheets for helping you breakdown you goals into step by step action plans. you can download additional worksheets from WWW. Then you need to identify the resources needed and possible sources of obtaining the resources. Here you will find my recommendations for further study.com © Teach the Soul – 2007 4 . Then breakdown the goals into individual steps necessary to achieve. You need to become a student of life and business. You need to clearly state your goal. get clear on why you want to achieve this goal and the difference achieving this goal will make in your life. If you are working from a hard copy.
There is one thing you must understand. different from the run of the mill. you must design it. What if I told you that you had the power to design whatever life you wanted? How would you feel knowing that you could design whatever lifestyle you wanted? Pretty powerful stuff. you designed your current life. Well maybe you did not design it at all. but just for now. If you designed your current life. either by choice or by neglect. You must get © Teach the Soul – 2007 5 . But even then you choose to be reactive rather than proactive. You cannot do what everyone else does. to follow the crowd and expect to have an exceptional life. you are going to need to do a lot of things different. Maybe you just took what came your way. you actually designed your life as it is now. you can design the life you want. right? Well the truth is you have that power. So by default. Now here is the part you may not like.Designing Your Life Introduction Are you getting all you want from life? Is your life what you had always hoped and dreamed it would be? If you want to design a life that is special. It just does not work that way. Here is a very powerful truth. you must separate yourself from the crowd. Maybe your life has been totally reactive. To have an exceptional life. If you want to achieve a certain lifestyle. realize that you are responsible for your current situation. We will go much deeper into this. You have always had that power.
There are two problems that most people face. you certainly can achieve a very high degree of wealth. That there is no way to get from where you are to where you would like to be.a clear picture of that lifestyle. And here is what you certainly would not do. While I said that you cannot achieve totally unrealistic goals. But if you have average intelligence. Where do you suggest I go? But that is what so many people do in life. You would find the best deals on flights and hotels. You would not show up at the ticket counter of an airline and tell the ticket agent. how much time and energy would go into the planning the vacation? Quite a lot. The first in getting a clear focus on what they want and of course then doing the necessary work. are willing to clearly focus on your goals and do the necessary work. a standout movie star or a professional athlete. your ideal life mate and a life filled with purpose. For you to have the desired results on your ideal vacation requires a lot of planning. If you were going on a vacation of a lifetime. You cannot expect to achieve your dream lifestyle simply by drifting along and taking life as it comes. I am not about to tell you that you can ever achieve anything that is totally unrealistic. The same is true of life. You would ask all your friends if they had any experience or knowledge about your dream location. You must decide on what © Teach the Soul – 2007 6 . They go off on life’s journey with very little planning. there is nothing that can hold you back. I going on my vacation of a lifetime. You would search out all sorts of information about things to do and see. It will not happen by accident. Now I know very well what you may be thinking. There is no magic that will make you a rock star.
You must have an open mindset. you must change your belief system. One of the best ways to get clear about the life you want is describe it in writing in great detail. For now. You really need to get very clear. you will not be able to change your belief system. I just want to give you an overview of all that is involved. you should develop a vision statement. Open mindset You must be open to doing things differently. © Teach the Soul – 2007 7 . based on your belief system. We will go into the specifics of setting goals. You will also be asked to develop a mission statement. Achieving happiness is not designing a lifestyle. You will continue doing the same things you have always done and you will get the same lifestyle you currently have. allowing you to look at life from a different perspective. Based on your core values and core beliefs. This cannot be a mere wish. This will outline how you bring your vision into reality. Getting clear You will need to be very clear about the life you want to design. If you want to change your circumstances. determine your circumstances. This is the vision you have for your life. If you cannot accept new ideas and embrace change. Your actions. Here is an overview of what we will cover. Your core values and beliefs This is what determines your actions.you want.
Achieving happiness is much too vague. What constitutes happiness? You will need to get clear about what you truly want in life. Getting clear demands that you get very specific. You cannot want a good job. Your subconscious mind cannot focus on a good job. You will need to be very specific about just what constitutes a good job. And you will need to be specific about what you truly want in each area of your life. Setting Goals Here we will work on what constitutes SMART goals. You will need to develop goals in all areas of your life. You may think that only your income needs improvement. But your life is not just your job or your income. You need to have balance in your life. Otherwise you will be like a car with a flat tire. The ride will be bumpy.
Taking action When all is said and done, it does not matter how much you know, how clear you are or how solid your belief system. Unless you take focused action, all it for naught. The results you want in life can only be achieved with focused action. There are generally two reasons that people do not take focused action. One is they are not quite sure where to start or exactly how to do what they are supposed to do. The other reason, the big one, is fear. We will address both of these roadblocks.
© Teach the Soul – 2007
Overcoming fear We all have a built in mechanism that causes us to fear the unknown. Almost everyday we hear about people that won’t get out of their comfort zone. The truth is we all experience some degree of fear when we encounter the unknown. And as we have seen, if you want to be successful in designing your life, you will need to do some things different. You will have to venture into some areas that will be new to you. You will experience some fear. It is normal. Accept it. But do not let it stop you or keep you from reaching your potential. We will explore different ways to deal with fear. Time Here is one place in life where we are all truly equal. At least in the amount of time we have. No one gets a break here. We all have twenty-four per day. Yet some people seem to get things done with ease while others are always in a panic, behind schedule and rushing around. We must learn to schedule our activities, prioritize and then concentrate on the most important ones. It really does not matter if some things simply don’t get done. Leave some things undone and our lives are the same way – undone. Associates It has been said that our income will never exceed the average income of our five closest friends. Who we associate with has a direct impact on our quality of life. Who we choose to associate with can expand our philosophy and outlook on life or it can be limiting. We can be uplifted and draw strength from our friends or we can associate with those that drain our energy and dampen our
© Teach the Soul – 2007
spirits. Choose your friends wisely. They will have a significant impact on your life. Making money If you are like most people, making money is at or near the top of your goals list. We live in a consumer oriented society and it takes a fairly decent level of income just to cover what most people consider the basic necessities of life. It does not do a lot of good to cover all the theories of goal setting, gaining clarity when you are not sure how you are going to put food on the table. This section will give you some insights on how to make an above average income. But please understand - making money is not the end game. Designing the life style you want is a process. You cannot skip to the making money section and dive in. Unless you get clear about your core beliefs, understand and develop an open mindset, get clear about what you truly want to do, set smart goals and take focused action, making money will always be difficult. All these things are building blocks to develop the skills you will need to make the money you desire.
The most successful people are not necessarily the brightest people I know. The most successful people are the ones who decide on a path in life and stick with it long enough to master the skills required to be successful in that particular field.
© Teach the Soul – 2007
it is common to meet with initial success before encountering some problems. © Teach the Soul – 2007 11 . If you are going to truly be successful in life. Most people abandon the race when the problems start. In any new venture. Successful people stick with it and overcome the problems.I know plenty of very bright people who can see the opportunity in countless business and personal situations. The problem is they never stick with one business or one endeavor long enough to totally master the intricacies of that particular business. They are persistent. They are always jumping on the newest idea or opportunity. They are great at spotting opportunity. you need to develop persistence.
They appear to love their job. You will not © Teach the Soul – 2007 12 . we are literally surrounded by them.Reaching your Personal Goals I am sure you have met someone who seemed to have everything in life a person could possibly want. Likewise. It seems like they never have any financial worries. there is no such thing as good luck or even bad luck. If you want to be like the lucky person who has everything in life. Except for random acts. most of the time.” There are opportunities before us at all times. you simply must be totally prepared. But the person whose life is a total success did not obtain that position by accident. Luck has been defined as “to meet or acquire by accidental good fortune. So the missing ingredient must be preparedness: most of us are not prepared to seize on the opportunities that exist everywhere. Earl Nightingale defined luck as “when preparedness meets opportunity. we tend to think how lucky that person is. All too often we attribute good things that happen in people’s lives to luck when we should really attribute it to preparedness. And their home life seems perfect. we often blame bad luck when in fact the real cause of the problems is being unprepared. The truth is they are not lucky.” This would apply to winning the lottery or any other such random event. When we meet or think about someone like that.
Only when you are reasonably comfortable with all areas of your life will you be content with your life.achieve that level of success by accident. This course is designed to help you reach your personal goals. our educational system does not really prepare us for success. fulfilling life. Most people think of success in terms of financial achievement. You will need to work on reaching your goals in all parts of your life. but it does not give us a system for success. It is very possible to achieve great financial success and still not have a successful life. And even though we place a lot of emphasis on education. you will not be happy. you must strive for harmony in your life. Our educational system provides us a lot of information. If your goal is to lead a happy. physical or spiritual areas of your life are lacking. Even if you enjoy what you are doing and are earning significant income from doing it. if the emotional. Financial success means very little if you are not happy with what you are doing. © Teach the Soul – 2007 13 .
it will © Teach the Soul – 2007 14 . Your emotional and physical goals are personal and will only be dealt with here in the most general terms. failure to obtain success in the other four areas will ultimately undermine any success you have achieved. The primary purpose of this course is to help you reach success in your work or career and in the financial area of your life. Outstanding results simply do not happen by accident. You will never achieve outstanding results in any area of your life unless you work at it. family and friends Work/career goals Physical health Emotional health Financial goals Spiritual balance There is a common thread between all these items. You simply cannot concentrate on your work and your finances to the exclusion of the other aspects of your life and expect to achieve long-term success. However.The following are the broad divisions of your life: • • • • • • Relationships: spouse or soul mate. There are specific steps that must be taken in each area of your life if you hope to succeed there. However. you must recognize that no matter how successful you may become in those two areas. The same principles that allow you to achieve financial success work equally well when applied to any other part of your life.
And the impact of the changes will take even longer to realize. you must be comfortable with who you are and what you stand for. you will never achieve true success. But you must understand that unless you are comfortable with yourself. When we want something. © Teach the Soul – 2007 15 . Often we will change our mind about whether we really want something if we can’t have it immediately. We cannot expect to change our lives overnight. your spiritual nature will be out of balance.not be possible for you to achieve your financial and work goals unless you have a positive mental attitude and maintain a healthy body. spirituality has absolutely nothing to do with any religious belief. but we as a society have developed an “instant” or “fast food” mentality with respect to most things. As used here. You should get comfortable with how you fit into the greater scheme of life. You should also understand that there is a significant difference between your religious beliefs and your spiritual self. We become very impatient if we have to wait. Expecting immediate results is folly. You should understand that we all have a purpose in life. We fail to realize that we are the way we are because of an entire lifetime of things we have done. The start of any program to achieve your desires in life should be to develop a healthy mental attitude and a physically fit body. Unless you identify and pursue your purpose in life. Spiritual balance refers to harmony with your inner self. We cannot change overnight. It’s unfortunate. These lessons do not attempt to alter or influence your religious beliefs in any way. There is no point of embarking on a self-improvement course if you are not willing to stay the course until you reach your goals. we want it now.
We will identify those steps. Now that we have covered the overview. Success is a journey. For some people.Success is not a destination. Success is about achieving your potential in doing whatever you truly desire to do. I think everyone would agree that Mother Theresa was a success. we experience success. The steps for identifying and achieving goals are basically the same for all areas of your life. We strive for continued growth and learning. We begin to experience success when we commit to changing our lives. It is up to you once you have learned the concepts to apply those concepts to the relationship and spiritual areas of your life. we set new. © Teach the Soul – 2007 16 . We learn to seek constant improvement. There is no point in achieving a great personal fortune if you are not doing what you most desire. In addition. And as we reach certain goals or milestones. the definition of success has nothing to do with money or other material things. While we recommend that you do the same with the relationship and spiritual areas of your life. let’s get started. There are no bells ringing to signify that we have arrived. we will go into great detail in dealing with the work and financial areas of your life. This course is designed to help you identify your goals in life and then take the necessary steps to achieve those goals. higher goals. Success actually has no relation to the amount of money you earn. With each step we take towards our goals. We continue striving. we become more successful. With each step in the right direction. Her goal in life was to help the less fortunate and she was a huge success in that respect. we will not try to influence or even discuss those areas – the same concepts apply. Yet she was penniless.
lead to the circumstances in our lives. you can feel justified in being a victim of circumstances. But the belief that you do not control your circumstances allows you to shift the responsibility to others. it is not their fault. Our lives are ruled by our habits. wrote. you will continue to be tossed about like a ship without a rudder. But those people will never achieve success in life. And for a lot of people.” © Teach the Soul – 2007 17 . As long as you give up the responsibility for your life to outside events. But the habit started with our core beliefs. or that your wife/husband left you. you probably do not need to look very far to find someone or something to blame. James Allen. Your beliefs allow you to take certain actions. “You are today where your thoughts have brought you. your beliefs tell you it is okay to take that action. That you are a victim of circumstances. that makes them feel better. you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. If you are looking for excuses.Your core beliefs and how they control your actions How do beliefs control your actions? It is very easy to tell yourself that you had little control over your present circumstances. author of As a Man Thinketh. As long as your life is not your responsibility. Continuing to take the actions we take. The very first time you consider doing something. soon the action becomes a habit. That is was not your fault that you lost your job. If you continue taking that action. After all.
You also need to take control of your mind. do not let your mind jump to conclusions or manufacture signs that are not there.” Said differently. “As you think. therefore they are bound. And that is your thoughts. the weather or any other of the numerous things that can affect our lives. Epictetus Epictetus wrote.Allen further writes. manufacturing and interpreting signs that aren’t there. We often blame others for things that happen. we can control how we react to things that happen in our lives. so you become. Our busy minds are forever jumping to conclusions. but are unwilling to improve themselves. your own thoughts. We cannot control what happens in our lives. Unless and until you change the way you think. You have no control over the financial markets. what is to be gained by blaming someone or something else? You may be quick to point out that at times people do © Teach the Soul – 2007 18 . You have no control over what someone else does. Ask yourself.” You must take responsibility for your thoughts. If you truly want to change your life. if you continue to do the things you have always done. you must change your thoughts. If you want to change your circumstances. so you become. Changing our thoughts requires that we give up blame. any changes in your life will be temporary. Sheer willpower will not change the basic path of your life. So the first step is to take responsibility for As you think. you must change the way you think. “Men are anxious to improve their circumstances. you will get the results you have always gotten. How do you change your beliefs? The first and most important step is to accept that you have total control over but one thing in life. That is.
We can only control our reaction to it. And anger increases the stress level. But you do control your thoughts. You cannot change what has happened. If something is not moving you toward your goals in life. In fact. © Teach the Soul – 2007 19 . You cannot afford to take actions that move you away from your goals. Does it accomplish anything to blame someone else? If it does not accomplish anything. it is very easy to get angry with them. so why spend time agonizing over it? Trying to control events that are out of your control only leads to frustration. Instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by anger and resentment. Accept that you have no control over lots of things that happen in life. Accept that things happen in life. But stop and ask yourself what good comes from the anger? It is not a question of did someone do you wrong. anger can be a hazard to your health. The question you need to focus on is what good comes from anger. then it must be moving you away. We cannot control what someone else does. If someone has said something bad about you or done you some wrong. You can invest a lot of time and emotional energy in being angry. Stress is at the base of the majority of today’s health issues. Playing the blame game is a losing proposition. But it will not move you closer to your goals in life. And you do not wish to engage Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.things that affect us negatively. You must give up anger and Nelson Mandella resentment. why spend the time and energy doing it. allow yourself to forgive the person you are angry. You must accept what happens.
you will start to respond to events rather than react to them. Learn to question your feelings. becoming aware that you can control your thoughts and actions. But that does no good. If we have an internal locus of control. try to delay any reaction to the event. try to have a time out or a cool down period. Responding means to consider the best course of action you should take. Locus of Control Psychologists teach us that we can have an internal or an external locus of control. You will need to take the emotion out of the picture. When something happens. If we feel like we have been injured. This will not happen overnight. Observe how you feel about what happened. You will need to constantly remind yourself to respond to things rather than react. © Teach the Soul – 2007 20 .in thoughts that drain your energy and take you away from your goals in life. If we have an external locus of control. By observing your thoughts. we think that events outside our control or internal factors over which we have no control are responsible for our circumstances in life. If you are having trouble learning to respond instead of reacting. Our natural tendency is to react. Just put aside your immediate reaction and think about how much better off you are by controlling your thoughts and your actions. we think that we are in control of our circumstances. and try to learn from them. Ask yourself what is the best way to respond to the event. our natural reaction is to strike back. Trying to get even often just escalates the problem. Learn to respond instead of reacting. Accept things that have happened. To get even.
All because of outside circumstances beyond his control. The horse stopped short. In our complex world. A lot of people think that they are victims of circumstances. His major treasures in life were his son and a small pony. So we tend to discount or overlook the connection. One day the pony wandered off and was presumed to be lost. sad the next. He thought his happiness in life was controlled by factors beyond his control. they did not take the son. The man was so grateful. That they had no control of what happened to them.Let me share a little story that will illustrate the concept of locus of control. In a small village in India. Now this is a simple little story but it illustrates a very serious problem in the way a lot of people think. the army came through the village and took all young men to fight in a far off war. Happy one day. In this story. The man was deeply depressed over the loss of the pony. Alarm bells do not go off when you eat a hot fudge sundae loaded with whipped cream. There is a timing difference. Because of the broken leg. It is easy to trace the cause of clogged arteries back to our lifestyle. The son was out riding the beautiful horse. the pony turned up and along with it was a beautiful Arabian horse. He had an external locus of control. The old man was delighted. Then a few days later. the link between cause and effect is often very indirect. The problem is the time involved. The man again was in a state of depression. But over time. the man is constantly being buffeted by outside circumstances. lived an elderly man. A few days later. the son fell off and broke his leg. eating such foods will have an effect on the body. © Teach the Soul – 2007 21 .
You must accept full responsibility for your life. © Teach the Soul – 2007 22 . We will never take full control of our lives if we are blaming outside circumstances. There is simply no other way. If we want to change the outcome – the circumstances of our lives. And the first step in changing the way we think. It is a universal law – cause and effect. if we think that things just happen to us.But the point is we do have control over our lives. However if we have always operated in some areas of our lives with an external locus of control. we must change what we do. we will not take responsibility for our lives and therefore will not make the changes necessary in our lives to bring about the desired outcomes.
It will also take a lot of © Teach the Soul – 2007 23 . Often they were simply passing on the values they had been taught. In short we filter information from a number of sources and accept that which fits our basic belief system. we often accept beliefs that are not healthy. radio. We have been exposed to lots of information that is not necessarily good or true. I“I am a part of all I Ihave met” Lord Alford Tennyson Our beliefs come from all we have met – from our parents. This will not be easy. extended families and teachers were probably sharing their values and honestly thought their values were what we should accept. Our parents. We pick up lots of beliefs from the adult role models in our lives. Not all of our beliefs are necessarily good. television and movies. If you are going to achieve all you want to in life. you will need to do some serious questioning of your beliefs and value systems. friends. Those things we accept and those concepts we reject both serve to strengthen our belief system. Our parents and teachers can have a very strong influence on our belief system. Because we are not in a position to make good judgments about what we should accept or reject. associates. the information we read in books. magazines and newspapers. So by the time we have reached adulthood. we rarely revisit them or question their validity.Where do beliefs come from? I part of all have met. we have a belief system that is a part of all we have been exposed to our entire life. Unfortunately after accepting beliefs.
Also. © Teach the Soul – 2007 24 . At times this might be a little uncomfortable. But you were probably taught some things that are simply not true. After crosses and losses. Do not think this is something you can do in a week or two. As you learn and grow. That what you believe today might not be what you believe next year. But you must be open to changing beliefs that are not true. You will become more tolerant of others and you will come to see the world is not black and white. Don’t try to make drastic changes in your basic belief system. political beliefs or any number of other things. Benjamin Franklin You need to realize that your belief system is subject to change. It may be race. men grow humbler and wiser.time and energy. you can expect your belief system to change. a sense of justice should not change. As you grow up and begin to experience the normal bumps and bruises of life. So develop tolerance for others. religion. Things are never quite that cut and dried. As you learn and grow. things change. One thing you must do is learn to accept people who are in some basic ways different from you. you should resist the temptation to impose your beliefs on others. Your core values. honesty. you will naturally come to question some of the things you were taught as a child.
it becomes more an integral part of who we are. It is estimated that 95% of the things we do. n. We take the same route to work. If you expect to achieve your goals in life. We don’t have to think about the everyday routine things we do in life. However you need to understand that when you do things out of habit. If you think about it. This can be a very damaging activity.Why are habits so powerful? Habit. we do out of habit. In short we are creatures of habit. We react out of habit. you are giving up control of your life. we shop at the same stores and often eat at the same restaurants. In some instances this is okay. Habits are extremely limiting. When we first take an action. we have done before. you need to understand the power of habits. at least to you habits are the most powerful force in the world. Most of the things we do. But each time we repeat the action. Habit start off innocently enough. The Devil’s Dictionary Ambrose Bierce I have often said that habits are the most powerful force in the world. we consult our belief system to make sure the action is in accordance with our core values. They keep us doing what we have always done. I then qualify that by saying. I am © Teach the Soul – 2007 25 . You no longer question if the activity is good for you. We even get in the habit of buying the same styles and colors. a shackle for the free. You can get into a routine (some might call it a rut) and never learn or grow. Eventually we come to accept that the action is totally okay and no longer consult our belief system.
If you promise yourself that you are going to exercise and/or read in the evening. I recommend 30 minutes a day. Most things you do in life will become habits. make sure you have good habits that will help you work toward your goal. Now I believe that you should read material that moves you toward your goals in life. However. First if you read just 30 minutes per day and you are an average reader. You will do them without conscious thinking. But most © Teach the Soul – 2007 26 . you will find the majority of times something comes up to interfere with your planned activity. Make sure you develop good habits. you will probably read about 20 books per year. So what is the answer? It is quite simple. Think how much further ahead you will be than the average person. What are some good habits to develop? Daily reading would be an excellent habit to develop. If you really want to save time you could combine the two. Further. If you are going to be a slave to habits. you will be able to complete your reading and exercise without interruption.000 dollars. Daily exercise would be another. It has been estimated that the average American reads less than one non-fiction book per year. There is nothing wrong with an occasional good mystery or other work of fiction. It has also been estimated that for each non-fiction book you read. you should do it first thing in the morning. you will increase your earning power by at least $1.sure you will come to the same conclusion that I have namely that habits are the most powerful force in the world. It is easy to underestimate the power of reading. For example you could read while exercising on a stationary bike. But if you wake up half an hour early. you can choose if you want to be the slave of habits or have them work for you. This can add up to quite a sum over a 15 to 20 year period.
you will become much more aware of how you are reacting to events. If you try to take huge steps in a short period of time. each and every day. selfimprovement CDs when riding in the car. Another good habit would be to listen to self-help. If you take constant action. © Teach the Soul – 2007 27 . but one thing you should get in the habit of doing is taking action each day toward your goals.of your reading should be books that will help you learn and grow. Almost everyone complains of a shortage of time. What were your successes? What happened that set you back? How did you deal with the setbacks? What should you do different in the future? If you learn to write these things down. You will simply be amazed at how much you can absorb by listening at least a half hour per day. The purpose here is not to list the events so much as to capture your feelings about the day. This should dramatically improve your ability to respond rather than react. Yet most people spend a few hours per day with their eyes glued to the TV. There are a couple of other habits you should consider adopting. Each evening you should recap the events of the day in your journal. This is a passive activity. How much of that TV time could be turned into productive learning time? We will go into this deeper in the section on goal setting. It is also very helpful to give up television. Unless you are watching good educational programs. you will more than likely fail. Most people watch way too much television. you will stand a much better chance of achieving your goals. the sitcoms and reality shows will do very little to help you reach your goals. The first is to start a journal. Make it a habit to take small daily steps to achieving your goals.
resentment and things like that. This can be anger. But if you develop the habit of praising yourself for the good things you are doing each day. It could be as simple as acknowledging yourself for some actions you have taken. For you to be successful in life. you will gradually raise your self-esteem. Notice the things you know you should do but do not. frustration. As you bring these energy drainers into your conscious awareness. it would be helpful for you to acquire a spiral bound notebook and answer the following questions each and every day. it would also be helpful if you became aware of the things that drain your energy. What things have I done in the last few days that I praise myself for? Most of us are very good at kicking ourselves for things we have done. What am I grateful for today? List at list five or six things in your life that you are grateful for. In order to help you overcome that. A good habit to develop is to write down the positive things you have done. you are in a much better position to take corrective actions. they become easier to deal with.Most people I know are plagued with self-doubt and low selfesteem. You will become aware of how much good you are doing in life. © Teach the Soul – 2007 28 . Ask yourself why. Develop the habit of being aware of the things you can and should be grateful for. I would also suggest you become aware of the things you fail to do because of some form of fear. While you are becoming aware of the things you should be grateful for and the things you should praise yourself for. you need to adopt an attitude of gratitude. Again. You need to be grateful. as you bring these behaviors into your conscious awareness. But we very rarely praise ourselves for the good that we do.
It could be the selfsatisfaction you will get when you have fully implemented the new habit. develop the habit of reading or meditating. For example if you are hooked on watching TV. it is extremely difficult to break a habit. you will want to develop some strong emotional attachment to the new behavior you are trying to adopt. © Teach the Soul – 2007 29 . Nothing is stronger than habit. If you wish to change your circumstances. The foundation for designing your life is built on your acceptance that you have total control of your thoughts and your thoughts lead to your circumstances. A more productive approach is to design a behavior that will replace the habit. That your habits are leading you toward your goals. If you don’t you will let your bad habits rule your life. Make sure that you have a good master.You need to become aware of the power that habits have in your life. you must start with changing your thoughts. You also need to examine which habits are keeping you in a rut and what you can do to get out. As everyone knows. Ovid While it is true that nothing is stronger than habit. Give yourself an emotional reason to adopt a new habit. You will be a slave to your habits. If you are finding it difficult to break a habit. Find something more powerful than the habit you want to replace. You are going to have habits. there is nothing that says that all habits are bad.
it is our very self. If you hope to achieve what you truly want in life. they are also angles of Freedom – they liberate. It is necessary to give up blame. You have total control over how you react to things. Man is manacled only by himself: thought and action are the jailers of Fate – they imprison. but their inmost thoughts and desires are fed with their own food. If it is of no value. You must learn that you have absolutely no control over things that can happen to you. then why engage in blame? Do not allow your energy to be consumed by anger and resentment. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with this thoughts and actions. Habits rule your life. The “divinity that shapes our ends” is ourselves. Learn to respond to things. Accept those things you have no control over. Examine your habits. Left alone. and ambitions are thwarted at every step. you must start by changing your thoughts. but that which they are. being base. These feelings do nothing positive for you. being noble. Their whims. but what he justly earns. These emotions will only drag you down. you must come to the conclusion that your thoughts eventually lead to your circumstances. Bad habits develop on their own. In order to change your circumstances. It is not the events that cause us problems. Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get. be it foul or clean. fancies. the bad habits can dictate © Teach the Soul – 2007 30 . anger and resentment. It is our reaction to events. James Allen gives us this passage: Men do not attract what which they want.In his book As a Man Thinketh.
putting the lessons into practice will greatly accelerate your progress. Exercises: A basic principal of achieving your goals is focused action. You will be a slave to habits. It is almost impossible to get rid of a bad habit through sheer willpower. Develop good habits that replace bad habits. There is nothing that says all habits need to be bad for you. That is not quite correct. You need to actually do them. You must take action. It does very little good to simply read the exercises. Doing the exercises. taking action on what you are learning. It has been said that knowledge is power. You forget a substantial amount of what you read the day after you have read it.how we lead our lives. you retain much more of the information. It is so important to combine the lessons with action. Applied knowledge is power. What circumstances in your life do you wish to change? It could be income. relationships. For any of the lessons to truly benefit you. you make it a part of you. 1. Taking immediate action on a lesson reinforces the lesson. When you internalize the information. But list those circumstances that you are not happy with. career or financial. It is okay to have habits so long as they are leading you towards your goals. There is a further benefit from taking action. you must put the knowledge to work for you. health. © Teach the Soul – 2007 31 . Develop good habits. You have a much better chance of internalizing the information. But if you take some action on what you read.
See if you can identify some beliefs that have not served you well in the past. What do you believe that you are capable of doing? What do you believe that you can become? What do you think is the biggest obstacle in your path to achieving what you truly want from life? © Teach the Soul – 2007 32 . friends and relatives about how you will do in life? 7. Do you have a good idea who you are? What your core beliefs are? List the things in life that are important to you. What self-limiting beliefs do you have? What have you been told by your parents. Examine your list of things that are important. It may be difficult to connect all the beliefs directly to a circumstance. Now list the beliefs that may have contributed to the circumstances being what they are.2. 4. What habits do you have that are controlling your life? How long have you had them? Write down how your life would be different without those habits. 3. but try it. Are those things enduring? That is will they be important in 5 to 10 years? Are any of the items on your list material possessions? 5. 6.
How important is it that you become successful in life? Why do you want to be successful? © Teach the Soul – 2007 33 .8.
We may have a fixed mindset about the friends we wish to associate with. What do they say? That there are no good jobs available. Most people will have a fixed mindset about some things and a growth or open mindset about other things. we would have a growth mindset about income if we realized there were a multitude of different methods to earn a living. We have a fixed attitude about how things should be. By limiting ourselves to only one way – getting a job – we dramatically limit our possibilities. You must be open to the opportunities that exist. Carol Dweck advances the theory that there are two types of mindset. We would have a fixed mindset about income if we accepted the idea that the only legitimate way to earn a living would be to get a job. In her book. On the other hand. We may have a fixed mindset about the type of house.Mindset What do we mean by mindset? Our mindset is “an established set of attitudes held by someone” according to the Oxford American dictionary. Companies are just not hiring. One is fixed and the opposite is a growth mindset. There are opportunities all around us. But listen to someone who is out of work. A fixed mindset means exactly what you might think. © Teach the Soul – 2007 34 . Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. neighborhood or area of the country we might choose to live in. It is extremely important that you have a growth mindset. Any time we have a fixed mindset about anything we limit the possibilities. There are so many different ways that we can have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.
A person with a fixed mindset is often arrogant. as employers we often shortchange our companies by taking such a short sighted view of things. We should praise hard work. And unless their ideal soul mates just happen by. There are generally numerous ways to arrive at a particular goal. tall men earn more than their shorter brothers. As a society. We must be flexible in our approach. Attractive women get ahead faster and go farther than their homely sisters. In our society. One of the big ways that our mindset determines our future is how we think about talent versus work. If you have a scarcity mindset. We tend to think that there is a scarcity of © Teach the Soul – 2007 35 . Thinking that there is only one way to achieve a goal and they have the answer. Prosperity – Scarcity Mindset We need to examine our mindset with respect to prosperity or scarcity. Our society has a fixed mindset about these attributes. We need to look beyond the surface and see the deeper qualities a person possesses. However. What do they say? That all the good men (women) are already taken. we praise talent. they are likely to look all their lives in vain.Listen to a person looking for a soul mate. There is nothing left but the undesirable. not talent. they are unlikely to find one. They refuse to look at all the possibilities that exist. you view the world as having limited resources. Unless a job comes and lands in their lap. We either have a prosperity mindset or a scarcity mindset. How we view the world and its resources will have a huge impact on our ability to accomplish our goals. In both cases the person has a fixed mindset.
All we need to do is to open our mind to the possibilities. Here we tend to see the world as having an abundance of resources. We want to do it all by ourselves and get all the spoils of victory. We no longer horde our precious resources. we bring about. We are no longer stingy. what we think about. We realize that the more we give. A scarcity mindset creates scarcity. A prosperity mindset does not waste precious resources. the more we get. This goes hand in hand with the scarcity mentality. We feel like we must compete with others for jobs. © Teach the Soul – 2007 36 . income opportunities and relationship opportunities. As you know by now. We understand that there are ample resources to fill all our needs. money and other resources. We even become stingy with our love. We become stingy with our time. There are plenty of jobs. Can you see the dangers of having a scarcity mindset? On the other side of the spectrum is a prosperity mindset. The average American today waste too many resources. we tend to horde resources. income opportunities and relationship opportunities. We do not want to share. We buy things that we do not really need and fail to use the things we have. having a prosperity mindset tends to attract prosperity to us. This is the hording that comes with the scarcity mindset. This is not a prosperity mindset. This becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. Please do not confuse a prosperity mindset with being wasteful. relationships and scarce resources. Since we tend to manifest what be believe. As a result we have developed a “go it alone” mindset. Therefore if we think that there is a scarcity of resources. We manifest that which be believe. The competitive – collaborative mindset We live in a very competitive society.jobs.
We have developed the mindset if we have to wait. instant emails and our fast foods. And they do it by working together. We have our instant messaging. And the more help you have. you will need help to achieve it. Bill Gates did not build Microsoft alone. as a nation. © Teach the Soul – 2007 37 . These are very primitive animal life forms.We are taught from grade school on to compete for grades. You will never accomplish anything truly great working solely by yourself. You cannot expect to undo this overnight. But you need to stop and ask yourself if this is the best way? Is competition the way nature intended us to live? Could we actually stand a better chance of achieving our goals is we learned to collaborate with others? We could learn a lot from ants and bees. you will need to change your mindset when it comes to achieving your goals in life. You are where you are based on a lifetime of thought and actions. Fast food mindset Unfortunately. the faster you will achieve your goals. for sports teams and for academic or school positions of leadership. Competition becomes inbred. It will take some time. That is rather unfortunate. You cannot expect to reprogram your mind instantly. we have developed a fast food mindset. Yet they can construct elaborate anthills and beehives. No matter what your goal. we don’t want it. We have come to expect things to happen immediately. While there are some things we do not like to wait for. Edison did not invent the light bulb working alone.
The same is true of your goals. you will not make a fortune overnight to satisfy all your financial needs. You will also need to understand that you cannot force things to happen on your schedule. It takes time. If you planted a fruit tree. Therefore it is vitally important that we develop © Teach the Soul – 2007 38 . you will meet with failure more often than not. If you have spend a few years building up credit card debt. Our mindset literally shapes our lives. we bring about.You will need to develop some realistic time frames for achieving your goals. If your goals are stretching you. unless you are very lucky. develop new relationships and make new connections. To rush the process can often result in a premature death. You can set your goals but you will need to do the work necessary to for the goals to bear fruit. If you try to force things to happen as you want them. You can achieve your goals and dreams. You just need to be realistic about how long it might take. In short. how long would you wait for it to produce the fruit? Probably a few years. The tree needs to grow to a certain size before it produces fruit. our mindset has a significant bearing on our ability to achieve our goals. How does our mindset affect our lives? As you can see from the above examples. During this time. You need to nurture your goals and do the work for you to learn and grow. you will need to learn new skills. You will also need to prune the tree and protect it from insects and plant disease. What we think about. even after you planted the tree you need to continue working on the tree and you have to wait until the tree has reached the proper size to produce fruit. you will need to water and fertilize the tree.
While I am not suggesting that you be a rebel or do anything disruptive. © Teach the Soul – 2007 39 . We need to open our minds to the possibilities of what can be. professional. we were often feed lots of information about the types of relationships we should develop. they became programmed into our brains. The successful people are doing something different.” Or. As a child. While they were probably given with the best of intentions. We are now burdened with self-limiting beliefs about our abilities. or whatever you were told)” or worse yet. If they did exactly as everyone else did.” Most of us were constantly feed negative messages as children. We need to be receptive to new concepts. Therefore we have been conditioned to conform. We often have a fixed mindset about our abilities. you must be open to doing things that are outside the box. As children. only one path to achieve our goals. “You need to learn your place. they would get the same results. how many times were you told.a growth mindset. we limit ourselves and may in fact close ourselves off to the path we really should take. “Don’t try that. Don’t color outside the box or play outside the box. our parents and teachers had what they thought were our best interest in mind. Again. Successful people do not do the same things that everyone else does. But for the most part they told us to fit in. If we think there is only one way to solve a problem. Don’t make waves. We have often accepted all we have been told about our limitations. We must be open to new possibilities. to new ways of doing things. In other words we were taught to conform. “You’ll never be able to be a _________ (doctor.
It is not having a fixed idea about how things should be done. We are seeking alternate ways to view the world. As you become aware of why you are doing things. It is very important that you question your long held beliefs about things. Stop doing thing automatically. One thing about learning. With a growth mindset. Learn to question or observe why you are doing certain things. we do not spend time on trying to defend our preconceived notion of how the world should work. We are constantly exploring for new and better ways to do things. You will achieve your goals much faster that way. Observe your feelings about what you are doing. we do not spend time on trying to defend our preconceived notion of how the world should work. With a growth mindset. © Teach the Soul – 2007 40 . the more we learn the more we realize how little we know. A growth mindset requires that we are constantly learning and growing. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that exist. Learn to be open to seeing things from a different point of view. ask yourself if there might be a better way. It is being open to learning new ways to do things.What is a growth mindset? It is simply being open to all possibilities. Stop reacting like a robot. Start to look at the reasons why you are taking the actions you are taking. How can we develop a growth mindset? By simply being aware of your attitudes that control your behavior.
When someone makes a suggestion. How do you react when you are criticized? Do you become defensive? Are you quick to explain why you think you were right? 6. what is your first reaction? Do you dismiss it without really considering the merits of the idea? © Teach the Soul – 2007 41 . 2. Do you feel that you must always have the answer to each and every question you are asked? 5. Are you willing to listen to other ideas? Do you take input? 4. Are you totally open to suggestions? Do you seek counsel from others? 7. When you hear a question. off on some other subject. The next time you are in a discussion. do you get fixed on the first answer you come up with? Do you think you are generally right and know more than most people? 3. check to see how you listen? Do you listen attentively? Or is your mind wandering. thinking of what you will say or worse yet.Exercises: 1.
11. blame should not be part of your way of thinking or acting. we need to learn to collaborate more with others. this represents a self-centered way of thinking. Your concern should be on getting results – not who gets credit. © Teach the Soul – 2007 42 . As previously discussed. 9. Do you have unrealistic expectations about how fast things should be accomplished? Examine your beliefs about how fast your income should increase. 12. Do you judge the actions of others before you understand their motives and intensions? These need to be answered very honestly. Examine your beliefs about how fast you should expect to achieve your other goals. Do you want to make sure that you get none of the blame for something you were not really responsible for? While you might think it only makes sense to get credit for what you do and not to get blamed for what you really had no part if doing. If you get blamed for something – whether it was your fault or not – simply learn from the experience and do not try to defend yourself. Do you think in terms of competition or collaboration? Competition is okay in sports. But in life.8. Part of an open mindset is to get away from the self-centered way of thinking. Having an unrealistic attitude about how fast you should achieve goals will set you up for failure. Do you want to make sure you get the proper credit for your contribution to a task? 10.
think the world owes you something. Are you looking for more/better relationships in your life? How do you think about the availability of these relationships? Do you think they are difficult to establish? That there all the good partners for life or business is already taken? The way you view the world. your attitude toward the world will have a significant bearing on how the world treats you.13. realizing that there are sufficient resources available to you. If you have a negative attitude. then you are going to have a difficult time designing the life you want. How do you view resources such as time. money and connections? Do you think there is a limited or unlimited supply of each? 14. On the other hand. © Teach the Soul – 2007 43 . you will be able to design the life you wish. if you approach life with a positive outlook.
wealth is a million dollars. When we are working within a structured environment. For others it might be ten million. relationships.” said the Cat. but they don’t seem to have a good idea of what they want to fill that void. But before we go into those. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go. “I don’t much care where…” said Alice. We will go much deeper into this in the goal setting process. There are a couple of techniques you can use to help you get clear. we go blank. You must be specific.Getting Clear “Would you please tell me which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to. where we can paint any picture we want. Everyone seems to know that something is missing in life. Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland In all my time working with people. we seem to do okay. Wealthy means different things to different people. But when our lives are an empty canvas. But whatever the reason. getting clear has been the most difficult task I have encountered. Getting clear means getting very specific. It could be that we have so many choices that we are afraid to make a commitment down one particular path. For some people.” said the Cat. jobs or even starting your own © Teach the Soul – 2007 44 . You are never going to achieve vague goals. You cannot have a goal of being wealthy. let us set some parameters. However for now realize that when we talk about wealth. most people have a very difficult time getting clear about what they want in life.
Most people. lots of people will tell you they want their own business.business. If you hope to have any chance of achieving your goals. “If you did not need money to live on. The Inaction is the death of any goals program. even if you were not going to get paid for it?” The point of all the above questions is to get rid of all the normal excuses we give about why we can’t do something. what would I spend my time doing?” Another way of getting the same results is to ask yourself. you will not be able to take focused actions. Inaction is the death of any goals program. but they don’t have the financing. Techniques for getting clear One technique for getting clear is to assume that you have all the money you need. You will not have a good sense of direction about where you want to go or how to get there. The more specific you are. Why is it important to be clear? Unless and until you become clear. “Since money is not object and I know I cannot fail. the clearer you are. the education or any other excuse. © Teach the Soul – 2007 45 . you need to get clear about what you want. you must be specific. “Since money is no object. Uncertainty breeds inaction. what would I spend my time doing?” You can expand this by saying. For example. Only by being very clear can your subconscious mind fix on what you want and begin to work on finding ways to obtain your goal. when uncertain about where they want to go or how they want to get there simply do nothing. You need to get rid of excuses. what would you do. Then ask yourself.
One thing you need to realize. How much vacation do you take a year? Describe your typical day. Picture yourself five years down the road. Doing this exercise. There is a second technique knows as the fast forward. See designing is a process. You are not going to design a life. Now ask yourself the following questions? What am I doing for a living? Where am I living? Describe your house. How much do you travel? Where do you go? What do you do for recreation? The point of these questions is for you to get very clear on the type of life you want to have in five years or at some point in the future. Once you are clear.above questions are designed to do just that. You are designing a life. you fast forward for five years. © Teach the Soul – 2007 46 . If you get clear about what you want. Get rid of your excuses. you can work back to the present. Once you know your destination. you can find the ways to accomplish it. How many rooms? What style? How big is the yard? Who are my friends? Describe your soul mate. you can start to chart a direct course for getting there.
Some parts are dependent on other pieces of your life being in place. You need to take one step at a time. That is fine. designing your life is a process. write it down. When we write things down. So when trying to get clear. You need to be specific. But do not try to do too much at one time. it is fixed. You will want to grow in all areas of your life. It should be a constant process of growth and discovery. It is much too easy to change or make adjustments to an idea in our head. make it a habit to write things in your journal. you may feel the need to make improvements in other areas of your life. you will find it difficult to restrict your growth to just one area. Your subconscious mind cannot focus on a fuzzy goal. There is something about writing things down that forces clarity of thought and makes the commitment stronger. So once you are clear about what you want. if you are content with our current job.On the other hand. As pointed out above. For example. but are looking to improve your relationships. then start getting clear about what is missing from your relationships. As you begin to work on relationships. once you design a life. you must have a fixed target. Setting Goals © Teach the Soul – 2007 47 . As you start to get clear about what you truly want. You cannot be pursuing one goal today and a slightly different one tomorrow. If you are truly going to achieve success. The best approach is to start on one item at a time. Life should never be fixed. Then you will become overwhelmed and everything will fall apart. do not make the mistake of thinking you can get clear on all parts of your life at one time. When you start to learn and grow. we become more committed to them.
and as a result they either stand still or walk in place. They are afraid to take a step in the wrong direction. When roadblocks appear. and more than likely some detours. Getting started is key. But you are different! You have made a conscious decision to begin a journey – a journey of success. writing it down.A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. no matter where you are going. you will simply alter your course to get around the obstacles without changing your intended destination. And since you have already taken the first step. there will be some bumps in the road. You will keep focused on your destination. So many people are uncertain about which way to step. By deciding on a definite purpose in life. you will never get there unless you take the first step. the second and subsequent steps should be much easier. The Way of Lao-tzu Lao-tzu The above quotation is so obvious. Like any journey. you will have separated yourself from the majority of people in the world. But you will not lose sight of your goals. This journey will help you decide where you want to go and how to get there. and identifying the steps necessary to get there. But once you have begun. a journey of designing your life. so they never go anywhere. it is imperative that you keep moving toward © Teach the Soul – 2007 48 .
willing to learn anything that will improve your life. In case this sounds too simple. your results will be totally dependent on the effort you put into this program. So just store away the information that you question or doubt. There are no secrets. even worse. It is as simple at that.your goals. reverse your movement. Just keep an open mind. If it were as easy as © Teach the Soul – 2007 49 . There is no mystery to success. You simply cannot fail if you follow the same path as other successful people. the rewards will be greater than anything you have ever imagined. you will gain very little. Don’t let inertia slow you down or. It is like the proverbial snowball rolling downhill. There will come a time when the wisdom will become apparent. Almost certainly. You simply need to learn the lessons that others have learned. You must begin this journey with an open mind. It has been said that a person only learns when they are ready to learn. I will admit that there is a catch: while the process is simple. Your rewards will just keep getting bigger and bigger. fear and old habits to try to pull you back into your comfort zone. It is easy for doubt. If you approach this subject with an attitude of doubt and resistance. You will need to get rid of some old habits and old ways of thinking. Don’t let them. there will be some things that you will read and hear that you will not accept. If you will simply follow the plan. That is. While the results are automatic. Develop the same habits that other successful people have developed and you must be successful. it is not easy. they are totally dependent on your effort. The wonderful news is that each success builds other successes and the rewards are compounded. And the only limits are the ones you place on yourself.
if you do not put the energy into learning and applying what you learn. everyone would be rich and successful. the greater your rewards. the knowledge is useless. you will have wasted your time reading these pages.reading this program. The more effort and energy you put into learning the principles and then acting on what you learn. This is one time that your rewards are totally up to you. No matter how much you learn. unless you put into action what you learn. Likewise. Let’s begin our journey of success! Let’s design your life! © Teach the Soul – 2007 50 .
A Positive Mental Attitude Success starts with a positive mental attitude. to not © Teach the Soul – 2007 51 . that is what we get back. William James. Our attitude is a reflection of our self. Nothing is more important in achieving success than your mental attitude. Improve your attitude and you improve your life. If we have a negative attitude about our job. “Fear is sharp sighted and can see things underground. They cause you to wait for the right time. if we think the worst is going to happen. we really do not have much chance to learn. Earl Nightingale called “Attitude” the magic word. it will be reflected in our work output. If we expect to fail.” The truth is we become what we think about. said “The greatest discovery of my generation is man can alter their lives by altering their mental attitudes. As Henry Ford said. Therefore. We tend to live up to our expectations. They cause you to see obstacles and problems at each and every turn. Our attitude affects everything we do. You will only be able to do those things that you firmly believe you can do. you are probably right.” You will never be successful at something you don’t think you can do. if we have a negative attitude. Everything you do depends on your mental attitude. As Cervantes said. “If you think you can or you think you can’t do something. the father of American psychology. If we have a negative attitude towards learning. that sort of thinking becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. and much more in the skies. If we are sending out a negative attitude.” Fear causes you to lose self-confidence. And the world directs our attitude back to us. Doubt and fear rob you of a positive mental attitude.
If you are going to have the drive and determination to achieve your goals. A couple of suggestions are in order. © Teach the Soul – 2007 52 . And you should set both short-term and long-term goals. It does not matter what anyone else thinks you should do or would be good at doing. A worksheet has been provided for writing down your goals in each area of your life. and resolution and energy be developed. gather your thoughts and take focused action you can accomplish anything. in his wonderful little book As a Man Thinketh. which being done. Your Goals Now it is time to actually identify your goals. and set out to accomplish it. You should set separate goals for each area of your life. Your goals must be your own.make a sale. James Allen. they must be yours. …A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart. And you must really believe they are achievable. “Until thought is linked with purpose. … Only in this way can the thoughts be gathered and focused. there is no intelligent accomplishment. If you link thought with purpose. there is nothing which may not be accomplished. So do not list “wants” that you really don’t believe you are capable of accomplishing.” You would do well to read the above quote and memorize it. 1. said. to have a bad day – whatever we expect is exactly what we will get in the long run.
You should list your goals and then. Wave the magic wand and decide what you would really want if money (or a certain skill) were no object. If you really want something. You must have an extremely strong desire to achieve the goal. 6. It is this list that we want to utilize. write it down. But not with a particular person. Do this for a few days. Often people will not list their true goals because they talk themselves out of it. that is fine. If you are attracted to one person and the relationship happens to work out. or both).” Do not let the means to acquire the goal interfere with your listing it as a goal. It is perfectly fine to have a goal to be in a romantic relationship.2. Do not worry yet about how you will accomplish your goals. without referring to your old list of goals. let’s assume you want your own business. 3. Don’t list things that would be nice to have. make a new list the next day. Only list those things that you are willing to work for. People will say “I want my own business but I don’t have the money (or the skill. Just make sure it is your goal and you have a burning desire to accomplish it. no matter how much effort it takes to achieve them. You should not have a goal to be in a romantic relationship with a particular person. But wishing for a specific relationship for yourself is © Teach the Soul – 2007 53 . 4. If you wave the magic wand and are honest you will reveal your true desire. In that case you are probably attracted to some idealized image you have of them rather than who they really are. What will emerge over a period of several days is your list of the goals that are most important to you. One method of determining your true goals has been described as the “magic wand” method. 5. They may not feel the same way about you that you do about them. Your goals should not involve any other person. For example.
You will not be open to all the possibilities that may exist. 8. everyone gets their just due. that shall he also reap. “Whatsoever a man soweth. The stronger the purpose.” Don’t worry. Do not burden yourself trying to even the score. It will only drag you down. 7. When you set your goals for a job. No matter what wrong someone has done to you.overlooking the idea that each person has the right to set their own goals. a house or anything like that. always set the goal for what you want or something better. “what goes around comes around” is true. Never set a goal that involves revenge. This is very important. in the long run. Also remember the Bible verse. it is time to put the goals in some order. Take some time to think about your priorities. you are operating from a fixed mindset. It is the strong purpose that gives you the drive to achieve the goal. the stronger the desire to achieve. Once you have worked with a list of goals over a few days and narrowed it down or eliminated goals that were merely wishes. The old saying. a relationship. Make it a point to always be open to your goal or something better. That is negative and it will not serve you well. If you limit your goals to a particular job or relationship. © Teach the Soul – 2007 54 . So take some time to write down why you want to achieve a particular goal – how accomplishing your goal will benefit you and change your life. never seek or even hope for revenge. You should have a real purpose associated with your most important goal. You want your most important goal to be at the top of your list.
If you believe you want money. if you concentrate on just obtaining money. Money is simply a medium of exchange. Here is a simple method to determine the order of your goals. Let’s say you picked number 10 over number 9. It is the benefit gained by providing goods or services. But if you © Teach the Soul – 2007 55 . you will not provide an exceptional level of service and will surely not achieve your desired income. You are going to need to decide which goal is most important so you will know where to focus your energy. Let’s say you have a list of ten goals. you must analyze further and determine why you want money. Which is most important? Let’s say this time you picked number 8. You might not be able to pick out the most important out of a list of 10. Concentrate on doing a good job and the money will surely follow. Look at number 10 and number 9 on your list. A word of caution: the attainment of a certain sum of money is not a goal. Then make the same decision between number 8 and number 7. Perhaps what you really want is to achieve a certain level of savings or to pay off debts in order to feel financially secure.A lot of people have trouble deciding on the rank of their goals. So if you need or want a certain amount of money. You must also realize that you can only acquire money or any other thing of value by providing service of equal value. one at a time. Then make a decision between those two items. Most people cannot look at a list of ten goals and figure out which is the most important. The sad truth is. you should be able to decide. But by narrowing the choice down to one of two items. These are both properly stated goals. your goal should be to identify a valuable service you would enjoy providing. Eventually you will have compared the all the items. Next look at number 8 and number 10. Continue this until you have compared the winner of each stage with the next item in line.
Once you start thinking about setting goals and taking complete control of your life. Pick out and work on one item at a time. Do not think you can work on all of the habits at the same time. Build your confidence as you go.concentrate on providing excellent service. One other note of caution. you will probably identify a number of habits or changes you need or want to make in your life. We will work with you on work/career goals and financial goals. the money must follow. To attempt that course of action will more than likely result in complete failure. Take the first step and then take it one step at a time. You should go through the same process to achieve goals in the other areas of your life. © Teach the Soul – 2007 56 .
Therefore you need to set your goals in the present tense. since that © Teach the Soul – 2007 57 .”. If something is to take place in the future. If your goal is to reach a certain weight. the subconscious mind does not have to work on it now. The mind tends to think in pictures.e. Personal – It is easy to make sure your goals are personal. what picture comes to mind? Why a pink rabbit of course. Present tense – Just like negative images. the subconscious mind has trouble with future events. but you still express them in the present tense. Therefore each goal should be stated in the positive. what you want not what you don’t want.. state your goal as “I weigh …. Now it is obvious that some goals will not be accomplished today. say you want to double your earnings in one year. i. Your goals must be personal. For example. Positive – The subconscious mind cannot process a negative. It can deal with the now. Just start each goal with “I”. If your goal is to achieve a certain level of income.Rules for Goal Setting For you to be successful in achieving your goals there are certain rules you must follow. positive and stated in the present tense. And it cannot process a negative picture. Your goal should not be to double your earnings. it should begin with “I earn …”. So always state your goal as a positive. The following are the rules and an explanation of the rules. If you state your goal as “I am a nonsmoker”. the mind tends to ignore the “non” and your goal becomes “I am a smoker”. You are the only person in the world who can use the word “I” when referring to yourself. Clearly not what you intended. If I ask you to not think about a pink rabbit.
For purposes of illustration. We will work on the specific steps to accomplish your goals in another section. This is the drawer where you put the miscellaneous things that you don’t want to throw away but you don’t have a specific place for filing. there is one more point to make about your goals. the old ones get pushed toward the back of our minds.000 per year. However. After a few days or weeks. “I earn $100. Therefore. it becomes impossible to find what you want. Well in some respects your mind is like the junk drawer. Then the proper way to state your goal is to say. Note that the goal is personal. you tend to forget those ideas that were so promising only a few weeks prior. usually the kitchen. The basic premise of this law is the longer the time between your intent and your action. you will forget about them.000 per year by December 200X. © Teach the Soul – 2007 58 . We lose track of what we have filed in the junk drawer. You know what you are earning now. We store so many thoughts and ideas in our minds and with each new thought or new idea. positive and stated in the present tense. the level of the intent diminishes. If you are like most people. Ever so often we have to clean it out by throwing most of the things away. let’s say you are earning $50.is not a specific amount. As more things get stuffed in the drawer. If you allow your goals to settle to the back of your mind. If enough time passes the intent fades completely. you must begin to take action on that goal or idea. There is a law in psychology called the law of diminishing intent. as soon as you set a goal or have an idea. you have a “junk drawer” somewhere in your house. Which brings up the need to constantly keep your goals in the forefront of your lives.
The following is a definition of SMART goals. What are you going to do? Why is this goal important to you? How are you going to do it? When are you going to do it? We will work more on an action plan for achieving your goals. You can also write them out daily. Anything that will keep your mind focused on your goal will assist in the achievement of your goals. Just make sure your goals are very specific.Otherwise your enthusiasm for that goal or idea fades into the background. A simple way to keep your goals a current part of your life is to write your goals on a 3 x 5 card and read them at least twice a day. you need to make sure that your goals are SMART goals. SMART Goals As you are listing your goals. you need to very clear about what you want. © Teach the Soul – 2007 59 . You may not currently have any idea about how you will achieve your goal. That is okay. A vague goal produces vague results. S M A R T - Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Time Specific For a goal to be specific.
You must know if you are progressing adequately toward your goal. Realistic This is a close cousin to attainable. if you have been earning $50. Not that you can never achieve that goal. setting a goal to earn $1.000 per year. there is no point in setting a goal that is physically impossible to reach. Peter Drucker You will need to determine some milestones for your goals. Far too many people set unrealistic time frames for achieving their goals. Realistic means given your present situation. On the other hand. If your goal was to lose 15 pounds in six months.000 next year is probably not attainable or realistic. Attainable Saying a goal should be attainable does not mean it should be easy. For example. you are not striving for something totally out of reach.000.Measurable What gets measured gets managed. You may also be seeking to accomplish © Teach the Soul – 2007 60 . you would not wait for five months to check your progress. Only by measuring your progress will you be in a position to make adjustment to your actions to ensure you achieve your goals by the target date. Most properly set goals are reachable. but you must set a more realistic time frame. You would break down your goal into pounds per month and then you would measure your progress.
Your goal might be obtainable. Without a deadline. Time All goals must have a target time frame for achieving the goal.the goal within an unrealistic time frame. © Teach the Soul – 2007 61 . but you might need to have a more realistic time frame. The time must be measurable. A deadline spurs you to action. You must set a realistic deadline and take the necessary action to achieve your goal. attainable and realistic. there is no commitment.
Write them out on the attached worksheets and then put them in order of importance.To-do exercise Take some time to decide on your goals. We will work on developing a step by step method of achieving them. Relationship Goals Short-term goals: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 62 .
Work / Career Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ________ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 63 .
Physical Health Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 64 .
Emotional Health Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 65 .
Financial Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 66 .
Spiritual Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 67 .
You might think to yourself that you don’t spend any time in the past and you certainly can’t travel to the future. That was consistent action. While you can never finish unless you start. trying out © Teach the Soul – 2007 68 . Living in the present moment If I were to ask you how much time you spend in the past or spend in the future. There was only one thing missing. There are lots of people who will get started. you would probably give me a bit of a puzzled look. We spend far too much time in the past. consistent action. finishing is the goal. Some even start with a bang. But the simple truth is that most people do not live their lives in the present moment. trying in our mind to change the outcome. And the only way to finish is to take constant. we need to spend a little time on some things that will help you in the process of taking action.Taking Action I have known plenty of people who were great at setting goals but not very good at achieving them. How do we spend time in the past? We are constantly replaying past events. We play past events over and over. Before we go deeper into the specifics of taking action.
While we are trying to reshape things that have happened. Realize that no matter how good or how bad some past event was. But consider this. We can’t change it. Instead you should learn to release the feelings. Expressing usually shows up in some emotional outlet – anger. we are letting go of the only thing we really do control. tears. What is the answer? Accept the past. The past is history. We imagine things we should have said or done and how that would make things different. Trying to live out the future before it arrives. Suppressing feelings about the past usually shows up in elevated stress levels. However we must not become too attached to the plan. Understand that you are not your feelings. “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans were useless but planning is indispensable. We need to plan. You created the feelings and you can release them. It does not matter how many time we replay things in our mind. Neither suppressing nor expressing is totally healthy.” Now what he meant might not be obvious. There is a difference between planning and trying to live the future before it arrives. we cannot change what has happened. General Dwight Eisenhower. When the actual battle started. If our minds are tied up in the past. resentment. many things happened that the generals had not expected – and the plan no matter how © Teach the Soul – 2007 69 . We can suppress our feelings about some past event or we can express our feelings. nothing you do will change the outcome.different endings. We often spend a lot of time in the future. the commander of the Allied troops in Europe during World War II said this about planning. We get very attached to memories and refuse to let go. we are not fully present in the current moment. that is the present moment.
Housecleaning As you set out to achieve your goals.carefully drawn out – was soon abandoned. they surely would have been in serious trouble. These are very simple but important things you can do that will simplify your life. So the process was valuable. Spend your time learning and growing. But if they had tried to stick to the plan. The first step in housecleaning is to look around at all the clutter in your life. You need to eliminate some things in your life. no matter what the enemy. We have no control over others or outside circumstances. It may be your desk. We only have control over our reaction to events as they happen. You will be better prepared for the future. While we certainly need to prepare for the future. we do not need to spend time trying to predict the future. If you are like most people. there are some housecleaning activities that can speed your progress. the easier it will be for you to focus your energy on achieving your goals. But the process of planning made them question everything. We often try to shape how the future will unfold for us. Take a good look at all the things you are doing. They tried to prepare for all contingencies. you have lots of clutter in your life. The less clutter and confusion you have in your life. Are there some activities that are not really important? Are there some things that you are doing out of habit? Do you belong to © Teach the Soul – 2007 70 . the weather and other unexpected happenings. your schedule or your mind. We get caught up in playing out how future events will play out.
you have way too many options. We also have far too many distractions. you need to reduce the number of distractions and the time and energy they consume. if you truly want to achieve your goals. We spend too much time in meetings. think about the times that they experienced failure. Rather than choose between belonging to organization A or club B. we choose both. This © Teach the Soul – 2007 71 . If you are like most people. If you truly want to achieve your goals. But having too many options really keeps us from developing a very narrow focus. We have too many options. What is necessary for failure? To help you. We have too many television programs to choose from and spend too much time being distracted by TV programs. Most of us find it difficult to make choices. You are not going to come up with the answer just off the top of your head. We let friends distract us. Again. how would you answer? That is an interesting question. you might think back on some of the bigger failures in your life. Take the time now to rid your life of some of the clutter that is draining your time and energy.some clubs or other organizations that take a lot of time and energy but produce little value in your life? You will need lots of time and energy to focus on the things you really want. social events and in front of the computer monitor. What was the one thing they all had in common? If you have children or employees. If I asked you what was necessary for failure. On the one hand it might seem like a blessing to live in so much abundance where we can pick and choose. We let celebrity news events distract us. you will need to narrow your focus. I would like you to think about it for a few minutes.
And that is exactly why it is a failure. It really does not matter how simple or elaborate they are. And the excuses can run from the bland to the unbelievable. But it is all too common. we protect our ego. What is absolutely necessary for failure? I am sure that right now you are scratching your head and wondering what can possibly be common to all failures. Excuses. we will not learn from them. At least in our own mind we have rationalized our actions. When you learn. Now we all make mistakes. All the failures I have been associated with. So we don’t have to feel bad. It was not our fault. It is not our fault. © Teach the Soul – 2007 72 . it truly was a failure. If we do not take responsibility for our actions. And if you admit to your mistake. It might be helpful to look beyond the excuses and try to understand what we are attempting to accomplish with the excuses and what about the excuses contributes to the failure. take full responsibility and learn from it. That is a learning experience. But here it is. they are still excuses. in a group or with a client … no matter what. the excuse is an attempt to shift the responsibility. when you strip them down to the bare essentials. First. Just think about it. mine. And if we do not learn. the one thing that all failures had in common was excuses. If we can shift the responsibility to someone or something else. in my opinion that is not a failure. Well the answer will surprise you. “I thought …” or “I didn’t know … “or “How was I to know …”.will take a bit of thinking. They often start with something like. it can not be considered a failure. But in the end. they are still excuses.
And so would failures. The more people you can enlist to help you. the quicker and easier it will be to achieve your goals. you need to find people who are further along the path to success than you are. we refuse to take responsibility. Next time you begin to offer an excuse. The first is expanding your list of contacts. We are quite creative in inventing excuses and at times actually give ourselves a pat on the back for coming up with “acceptable excuses”. that truly is a failure. You will rarely achieve all your goals working by yourself. If you are looking to grow and looking for folks to help you grow. And because we would be learning from our mistakes. we’d make a lot fewer mistakes.But if in trying to protect the ego. Are you giving up a real learning opportunity to escape short term embarrassment? So start right now and eliminate excuses from your life. there are some tools that will help you along the way. Some might © Teach the Soul – 2007 73 . we took full responsibility and learned from our mistakes? Excuses would vanish. Don’t start by making new contacts on the same level you are. we refuse to really learn. Some tools As you start to work on achieving your goals. Do not be afraid that these people are too big or too important to help you. How much better off would each of us be if every time we made a mistake. stop and think. So the one thing all failures have in common is excuses.
Once you have this list. The old saying. “Out of sight. If you don’t maintain contact you will lose contact. they will cease offering any help. you must honor their time and advice. it is highly like that the mentor will introduce you to additional valuable resources. Now do not expect them to baby sit you. doing what you have committed to do. Don’t try to fool them or make excuses for your lack of progress. If you are showing progress. But most will be willing to share some ideas and insights with you. out of mind” is true. If you are going to seek help from successful people. You need to make a list of all the possible contacts and connections that might help you along your path. This could be a bi-monthly or monthly progress report. And never make the mistake of just calling on connections when you need something. But if you find a mentor that will give you a couple of hours per month. One of the things you must do is get good at observing what successful people do. a short telephone call every couple of weeks or a periodic email. you will have found a gold mine. find some method to maintain contact. It should be clear to you that © Teach the Soul – 2007 74 . They will also point you in the right direction and give you some guidance. Treasure it like one. Always be looking for ways to help others.feel that way. While at first some mentors will be willing to help with little or no thought of return favors. But at the first sign that you are not doing the work. don’t ride the good horse to death. taking responsibility for your own actions and are not really serious. But the majority of truly successful people are willing to help those who are totally dedicated to improving their lives. Find some ways to be of service to those who are helping you.
be sure you have them with you. Be on time and be prepared. But not before he delivered a very stern lecture. Being dependable means being totally prepared. Assuming that part of your goal is about financial success. They don’t act or live like the majority of people. So you need to find out what they do that is different. This means that you do not settle for the minimum educational and training requirements. The next you need to ask for the basic tools needed to do the job. When you commit to something. Whatever the tools of your business. Learn to observe. You must become an expert in your chosen line of work. that is okay.successful people do not do what the majority of people do. © Teach the Soul – 2007 75 . average person and expect to command higher than normal compensation. The first time you ask. When I first started working as an accountant. You must engage in a process of constant learning and improvement. you need a pencil. The other new accountant went to our manager and asked for a pencil. I am not talking about the exceptions. You can not be run of the mill. I was on a job with one other new accountant. I am talking about being dependable in everyday matters. I did not escape the lecture. people should be able to count on you. Even though I had my basic tools. If you ask them. they probably do not realize and could not give you a good answer. Develop the habit of being dependable. I never forgot that lesson. Now I know that things come up from time to time making it impossible for you to do what you had agreed to do. you are fired. The manager opened his briefcase and gave him a pencil. then you must excel at your chosen profession. He said if you are going to be doing accounting.
The only way I know is to take a systematic approach. This can be reading books. But it will not happen by magic. Your level of Desire Soon you will be starting to take action towards achieving your goals. Epictetus If you expect to achieve extraordinary success. Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes. we are hollow. spend about half hour to one hour per day in concentrated study aimed to improve your skills in your field. Going at your goals in a © Teach the Soul – 2007 76 . you must be fully committed to your success. That is. At first you will simply be absorbing information. Unless we fully give ourselves over to our endeavors. listening to CDs. then you will need to be an above average person in your field. This is not as hard as you might think. you will become the person people turn to when they need your knowledge and experience.If your plan is to make above average income. By sharing your knowledge. A half-hearted spirit has no power. watching DVDs and attending seminars and workshops. superficial people and we never develop our natural gifts. One of the keys to achieving your goals is to be fully committed. That is good but you will not get out in front by just reading. listening and attending meetings. You must learn to share your knowledge with others. You will need to become a teacher.
You have to go “all in”. when you feel like quitting.” Don’t let yourself get behind. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.half-hearted effort will never give you what you are seeking. It does mean that when you meet resistance. Your commitment must be strong. You must develop a bias for action. If you put things off. Talent will not. develop the habit of “Do It Now”. you will have no trouble with this last point. the world if full of educated failure. You can stay ahead of the game by taking action each and every day. Here is where the “ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. they fold their tent and go home. you will lose the enthusiasm for doing them. Other things will come up and you will slip behind. nothing is more common that unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not. That is. If it were a cake walk. That does not mean it is impossible. © Teach the Soul – 2007 77 . Education will not. you will need some extra reserves to push you through the resistance. Here is where the strength of your commitment really shows. Calvin Coolidge If you have the commitment. Some people have used the mantra of TNT – Today Not Tomorrow. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. If you are not willing to fully commit. You must make a strong commitment to your goals. Do not let things stack up on you. You can absolutely count on some bumps in the road and some setbacks. unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. And as soon as you get behind on your goals schedule it is all too easy to become overwhelmed. A lot of people will start strong and then when they meet the least bit of resistance. you would be better off giving up now. You can look at your goals and get a feeling of helplessness. everyone would be successful.
” If you take small actions each day. If you try to do it all at once. have a certain size house in the proper area of town. We say one thing and do another. You probably have also listed a certain amount of liquid assets (cash and securities) which is intended to provide a certain degree of security. We buy expensive gadgets with the expectation that they will bring us a certain degree of happiness. We horde things. more expensive automobile. before you know it you will be realizing your goals. © Teach the Soul – 2007 78 . Even some adults will say they firmly believe that. “How do you eat an elephant?” “One bite at a time. a bigger house. consumerism is rampant. It might be a newer. We have come to believe that we will achieve happiness when we get a certain amount of money in the bank. We buy much more than we need or can properly use. we have been sold the idea that happiness comes with achieving a certain level of financial success. In western society. Now every high school student will write in their essays that happiness does not come with acquiring things. you have a lot of material items on your goals list.It is like the old question. working hard to achieve them and the finding out that they really did not bring the satisfaction you had hoped and expected. But our actions and our words are not in harmony. There is no point in setting goals. you’ll never be able to choke it down. But it probably would be helpful to examine your reasons for wanting those goals. One last thought about your goals If you are like most people. are able to send our children to the proper schools and colleges. a county or beach home. In short. There is nothing wrong with those goals. happiness can only be found within.
The more you get. bigger and better. Why do we feel the need for all these latest and greatest gadgets? It is because of our ego. then we somehow feel inferior. Our ego is very fragile. We also know we need the largest screen HDTV that is made. If we don’t have the latest and greatest. the more you will want. We want an automobile that says we have made it. crash and then you need something bigger to get you high again. I am strongly suggesting that you understand that material possessions should not. When you start to feed the ego. What is the answer? You really must find your purpose in life. you are engaging in a game that you cannot win. cannot be your motivational force. you will be on a circular chase that is never ending. And what happens when the new wears off? We need something else newer. So here is a very important lesson that you really need to understand. It is like a drug addict. Now I am not for a minute suggesting that you forgo all material possessions.We think we need the smallest new cell phone on the market. © Teach the Soul – 2007 79 . Find something where you are contributing more to life. You really need to make certain that your contribution to the world is equal or greater than what you are taking from the world. The new always wears off. You get high. Make sure that what you are doing is doing something for the betterment of mankind and the world. Same as with drugs. It drives us to protect its feelings. And the acquisition of things soothes the ego on a short-term temporary basis. If you engage in the pursuit of material things for the satisfaction of the ego.
You will never satisfy it. It is better if you pick one that is high on your list. If you understand and accept that. then so long as you are providing service to the world. All I am suggesting is that you be well aware of what you want and why you want it. Go to your revised list of goals and select one goal. Happiness truly does come from within. Here is where you will separate yourself from all the goal setters and become a goal achiever. you are going to experience a real letdown. But if you think that once you get that high priced car you will have found happiness. Action plan If you have followed the instructions to this point. You will need lots of energy to see you through to the end. Now you need to devise a plan to achieve those goals. List © Teach the Soul – 2007 80 . If you choose to drive a luxury automobile. then you will be on the right road to achieving your goals and finding happiness. You will need to make a list of all the things you will need to achieve your goal. The ego can never be satisfied.I truly believe that you have the right to live in total comfort. you have every right to drive a luxury automobile. you should have a very good set of goals with a specific date for accomplishing those goals. so I want you to pick a goal that will really mean something to you when you achieve it. Happiness comes from ruling your ego – not from trying to satisfy it.
The best way to obtain these resources is to ask. one of the characteristics of a goal should be to stretch your abilities. you must do more than you have previously done. Just do something each day that moves you toward your goals and before long you will look back from where you started and be amazed at the progress you have made. Then begin to make a list of possible sources of obtaining those items you will need to achieve your goal. To be more. So long as you are clear about a direction. There is no point in trying to work miracles. the mind will not be able to focus. Next make a list of possible sources for the resources you do not currently possess. If you don’t have any idea where you will get some resource it is okay.the skills you must acquire. The next step is to lay out a plan or road map to achieve your goals. Then take an inventory of the skills and tools you already possess. any funds you will need. And unless you are totally clear. You must move out of your comfort zone. Ask your © Teach the Soul – 2007 81 . The first thing you need to do is to make a list of resources you need to complete your goal. Once you really get clear about what you need. For the mind to really perform. the mind begins to devise means of getting what you need. the information you must obtain. You might say the mind loves a challenge. The mind is a very complex and marvelous resource. Achieving any goal should be a step by step process. Don’t fret over how or where you will get what you need. But you will not achieve stretch goals in one giant leap. you must have focus. Just become very clear about those things that you really need to achieve your goal. As mentioned earlier. Let’s recap the steps we have taken. In short list everything you can think of that you might need to achieve your goal.
There are some things that others will be able to do better than you. Just because you are in love with your product or service does not mean that everyone else feels the same about it. The lesson here is “two heads are much better than one. your fellow employees and anyone else you can think of. they take much longer and in the end the product or service is not as good as it could have been. if you are also a giver. Then you must develop the product or service.” Do not ask without being prepared to give something in return. The first step in that process is to make sure the world wants or needs the product or service that you intend to deliver. They make lots of mistakes. Make sure there is a need for the product or service before you proceed to spend lots of money developing it. You also must prepare a detail step by step plan for achieving your goals. Don’t let your ego get in the way of your success. The world can be a very giving place. If you ask in the proper manner. And they wonder why they never get what they ask for. Here is where a lot of people go wrong. you will need to start with a product or service that you are going to provide. then you will not find people anxious to help. you will be amazed at the number of people who will be willing to help you.” You cannot be an expert in all things. You must remember that “as you sow. Far too many people ask without being prepared to also be a giver. But if you are just a taker. Most people think they must do everything themselves.friends. If your goal is to become financially independent. Ralph Waldo Emerson. Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. so shall you reap. You will do much better working with a team than being a lone ranger. © Teach the Soul – 2007 82 .
do not rely solely on your own experience. You might think that you have the self-discipline that you need. will do more to help you achieve your goals than anything else I can recommend. They do not have anyone to account to. You can have an excellent product or service. Often they will accept your excuses and let you off the hook. Most people will not do this simple step. If you select a friend. getting an accountability partner. often the friend does not have the courage to really tell you like it is.” You need someone to hold you accountable. But you will never accomplish as much by yourself and you can with an accountability partner. It works.” We can make excuses about why we did not do what we were supposed to do. Again. Emerson understood this very well when he wrote the words. Once you have developed your product or service. You need someone to hold your feet to the fire. As Benjamin Franklin said. That is not accountability. but without effective © Teach the Soul – 2007 83 . This simple step. Why? Most people really do not want to be held accountable. This can be a coach/mentor or a friend. While a friend might seem like the easy route to take. “Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. They want to be able to do things that are not taking them towards their goals without having to account for it. And we will accept our own excuses or justification. “It’s the easiest thing in the world for a man to deceive himself. make sure the friend understands the importance of holding you accountable. Just make sure that you pick one that will really hold you accountable. They want the luxury of being able to let their schedule slip. the most important step is to market it.There is one reason that most people do not achieve their goals. For an accountability partner to work. Seek out the help of others. you will need to be totally honest.
marketing, it will remain your product or service. You must be able to convince other people to buy your product or service. Now that you have developed a detail plan of action, you must take action each and every day. Realize this, every thing you do, each and every day either moves you toward your goals or takes you in the opposite direction. Learn to examine your actions. Are they taking you toward your goals? If not, then they must be taking you away from your goals. Most people do some things that take them toward their goals but they also do a number of things that take them away from their goals. What happens? It is very simple. You are being pulled in two different directions. And the end result is you are not making sufficient progress toward your goals. It like a football team that makes a great play that gains 8 yards and on the next play gets penalized or set back 10 yards. The positive action was more than offset by the negative action. Learn about your negative actions and eliminate them from your life. Success is not a destination. Success is a journey. Make sure you are constantly on the right path and that you are constantly moving forward. With your detail plan for achieving your goals, you should have measurable milestones. Each time you reach a milestone, mark it on your goal worksheet. Also you should celebrate your small victories. By acknowledging your progress, you give yourself the necessary energy to keep pushing forward.
© Teach the Soul – 2007
Fear is probably responsible for keeping more people stuck in their present circumstances than lack of knowledge or lack of money. There is lots of talk about fear but few people really take the time to understand what fear really in, how much influence it has on our lives and how you can overcome the fear. In some respects, you can think of fear a lot like you think of love. Everyone talks about it, but very few people can really explain what it is, how it affects our lives and what we can do about it. Fear comes in different shapes and sizes. Most of us think of fear as some outside event that causes all our vital signs to go off the charts. That is simply one aspect of fear. There is no question if we happen to get caught in the crossfire of a
© Teach the Soul – 2007
shoot-out between some rival drug dealers, we would experience that sort of fear. But that type of fear is usually short lived. The circumstances that cause that type of fear normally do not last long. And once the threat is removed, we no longer experience that time of fear. But that is not the most damaging type of fear. It is the fear of failure and the fear of success that really keep us trapped in what is all too often called our comfort zone. I have a lot of trouble with the term comfort zone. Very few people are truly comfortable. I think the term really means that we would rather deal with the devil we have than deal with the devil that we might get if we did something to change our circumstances. Changing our circumstances involves dealing with the unknown. And for most of us, that involves a certain amount of fear. We need to understand that fear is perfectly normal. It is the body’s built in self-preservation method. This is some build in instinct that we have possessed for ages. But is something is unknown, the ego senses fear. Our ego is determined to save us at all cost. So if some activity is new, it will by definition involve some unknown, then the ego goes into the fight or flight mode. Since modern society does not favor either option, we are left with no alternate way to deal with the fight or flight emotions. The body has no internal way to deal with this type of fear. We can’t run and there is no enemy to fight. This fear that we can’t see and have no effective method to fight does two things. One it raises our stress levels and since the only way we can imagine getting away from the fear is to stay away from the unknown, we stay stuck. Stress levels
© Teach the Soul – 2007
he had two choices – he could stand and fight or he could run for his life. When the caveman encountered the unknown. The threats are to our ego. But for most encounters we cannot physically fight or run. most of the encounters with the unknown are not life threatening. If he was going to run. Most of the encounters today are not threats of physical harm. the body needed a surge of energy.Our increased stress level is responsible for the vast majority of medical problems in the United States. most times we are not in danger of an accident. he needed the burst of energy to propel him away from the danger. We all have this vague notion of stress but most of us do not understand what really causes the stress and how our bodies respond to it. Today. if it did not survive the immediate threat. In either case. When someone cuts in front of us on the freeway. We need to go back a few thousand years to the days of the cave man to get a basic understanding of what is going on with stress in our everyday life. there would be no need for the long-term immunity system. After all. He would evaluate the potential danger of the situation and make the decision to fight or flee. All the body’s energy was turned to immediate survival. the immune system would shut down. the adrenaline gland would release a burst of energy. When this happened. There was no need for the long-term immunity system to be using up precious body resources. But our body reacts the same way. If he was going to fight. he needed energy. We can feel our pulse rate soar as our © Teach the Soul – 2007 87 . So as soon as he sensed some sort of danger. but we have this surge of anger because we believe that the offending driver violated our rights. The adrenaline gland produces energy boosting secretions and the immune system shuts down.
heart pumps faster. The truth is our lives are filled with stressful situations – situations that are not going the way we want them to do. But our options for immediate redress are very limited. Actually it is even worse than that. Except for our typical hand salute and a few choice words that are only heard by us and any occupants of our car. Yet our bodies are still reacting to the flight or fight design that has been outdated for centuries. And when things happen that do not conform to our ideal world. Miguel Cervantes © Teach the Soul – 2007 88 . A similar situation occurs when we are on the phone trying to resolve a dispute concerning a purchase we made or a charge to our account. We could be on the receiving end of a complaint or unreasonable request from our boss. We have our idea of how the world should work. Our typical day is filled with other situations like the above two examples. we become stressed. Now when we start to imagine things that could happen that is just another way to describe fear. If could be a co-worker saying something about what we did. Again. Fear is sharp sighted and can see things underground and much more in the skies. There is no one to physically fight and there is no place to run. We begin to imagine things happening that are not in accordance with our ideal world and we get stressed out. We become frustrated and angry. The problems in today’s society are different. we are generally helpless. the adrenaline system starts to work but it is all for naught. the way we are dressed or some other negative comment about us. The person on the other end of the line will not listen to our problem.
Do not stand out from the crowd. We let our imaginations run wild. The can be a self-fulfilling exercise. you will fall and break a leg. If you are “different” you will attract attention – and it will not be good. We went to great efforts to lose ourselves in the crowd. “Don’t climb that tree. We became afraid to express ourselves. We can fear something and then get stuck in a no action mode. © Teach the Soul – 2007 89 . you never know what might happen. There have been studies that showed that 95% of the children in the first grade tested highly creative. All of these things that we heard as children hundreds of times were meant to keep us safe. We were taught to fit in. In an effort to protect us and keep us safe. But by constantly repeating these and other similar phrases. But testing the same children when they were in the 12th grade. When we went off to school there was this unspoken directive – fit in. they were ever vigilant about telling us of the dangers inherent in trying new things. Failing to take action is at times carries more risk than taking action. only 5% tested creative.” “Don’t talk to strangers.” And of course the list goes on and on. To some extent we can probably trace part of this fear back to our parents. they drummed caution into our heads. Now of course it did not stop with our parents. Don’t make waves.When we start projecting things that might happen. Fear of failure Our fear of failure often prevents us from even trying to achieve a goal. generally we are anticipating the worst.
In short we have been conditioned to be a logical. she was not her usual bubbly self. So how do we over come fear? The first thing you need to understand that fear is an emotion. Our daughter had gone to a private school from Pre-K through the sixth grade. I asked if anyone was going to be in the seventh grade. © Teach the Soul – 2007 90 . She was very quiet. thinking person. which was the highest grade the school offered. I explained that my daughter was new there and needed someone to show her around. As I was driving her to class on that first day. Everything was new and she would not know anyone there. So I parked the car. But because of years of conditioning. But logic will never be more powerful than emotion. She became a guide for my daughter for the day. We want to blend in. She wanted some support. Let me relate a little story that will illustrate this concept. Yet we have been taught to rely on our information and knowledge. After the second try. took her by the hand and we approached a group of students that appeared to be about her age. we cannot be part of the crowd. one bouncy young girl stepped forward and introduced herself. she had to start at a new school. we are afraid to stand out. So for the seventh grade. As we approached the school she said. It was a demand. “You are not going to just drop me off are you?” It really was not a question. The school we picked out was much larger and across town.But we know if we are going to design an extra-ordinary life. We must be our own unique person. We must stand out.
I had opened my shirt and hung it over the back of the chair. I solved the problem by finding a buddy that she could connect with. First you must understand that my daughter was frightened with the prospect of going to a school where everything was totally new. Well there was a chair in my bedroom and rather than hang my clothes on a rack. Her new little friend gave her the emotional support she needed. When you are dealing with someone in a situation where they are experiencing fear. Logic or reasoning really will not overcome fear. then the fear goes away. Again. trying to overcome the fear with rational reasoning is useless. This actually happened to me when I was about six years old. If we can bring the unknown to the known. it is sometimes helpful to dig deeper and try to expose our fears for what they are. We only had kerosene lanterns. but we did not have electric lights in that particular house. We lived in a rent house in a rural area. Now this might be difficult for you to believe. It will not work. Identify fear Even though fear is an emotional response.What are the lessons from this incident? More than you might think. Fear is an emotion. What difference do you think it would have made for me to explain for hours on end that there would be plenty of other new students in the same situation? I can tell you it would have made no difference. let me illustrate with a little story. Emotions always overrule logic. The pants were laid down on the seat of the chair and © Teach the Soul – 2007 91 . It was like the chair was wearing the shirt.
When we are in the grips of fear. If the most likely negative outcome is not that bad and the most likely positive outcome brings you © Teach the Soul – 2007 92 . I might have concluded that any self-respecting burglar would never break into a house such as ours. list all the unpleasant things that might come about from the failure of the project. On the other side. Well as morning broke and the light improved.draped down toward the floor. If I had thought rationally. Then consider all the bad things that might happen. In fact I really urge you to try to examine your fears. Arrange those items from the least likely to the most likely outcome. There was nothing of value to steal. Of course I had forgotten that I had carelessly decorated the chair with my clothes. On one side. It was only my clothes. list all the good that you expect to gain from completion of the project. I just know for some people. This is a method of evaluating the risk. it will not work. you will probably find that your fears are actually baseless. But here is one exercise that you should do. I was imagining all sorts of sinister things that a burglar could be doing sitting there in the chair. But that is one of the problems with fear. Now let me tell you. But asking someone who is experiencing fear to examine the fear rationally is a tall order. In the dim light. I am not saying you should not try. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. If you are reluctant to move ahead on a project or idea. I begin to see that my fears were baseless. it looked like a person was sitting there. rational thinking never enters into the picture. So if you are fearful about taking action and you can rationally dig deeper concerning your fear. here is one way to try and overcome the fear. my fear was real. Well I awoke in the early morning hours and when I looked in the direction of the chair.
You can enlist the assistance of an accountability partner. If your emotional reasons for achieving your stated goals are strong enough. Keep in mind that even if the worst case should actually happen. How do you develop strong emotional reasons for achieving your goals? This is basically intrinsic motivation. which we all too readily accept. You must be fully committed to achieving your goals. we stand a much better chance of accomplishing our goals. it is probably not the end of the world.satisfactory results. this should give you ample reason to proceed. © Teach the Soul – 2007 93 . You need to truly believe that what you are going after is the right thing for you to do and to do anything less would be settling for less than your full potential. you need a strong emotional reason to achieve a goal that will move you to where you want to be. Desire for gain As we have discussed before. It is much more difficult for us to fabricate an excuse for our accountability partner than it is for us to con ourselves. Often we are not able to discipline ourselves. By having someone that we respect hold us accountable. it should overcome the fear. If you do fall flat on your face but learn from your mistake. Looking at the worst case and the probability that it will or will not happen will often give you enough comfort to proceed. We allow ourselves to make excuses for our lack of accomplishments. you will be in a stronger position next time you are faced with a similar situation. You need a strong belief in yourself and your abilities. This is simply a method of bringing your fears into the light.
an American. You need to give them adequate thought. One last method There is one final method I can suggest for overcoming your fears. © Teach the Soul – 2007 94 . we might set a goal to have a million dollars within five years. This one can best be described as the kaizen way. and I highly recommend you do. Now while we think of it as being Japanese. The name comes from the Japanese method of quality control. If rationally looking at your fears will not dissolve them. then you need to do your best to make sure that the emotional reasons for achieving your goals are strong enough to push you forward through your fears. Now we might not really have a strong desire to have that much money. If you are consistently having trouble achieving a goal. We are often setting these goals for someone else. At times we set goals that we truly do not believe in or are not committed to. For example. We set them because we feel like we are supposed to. you must choose one that will not let you off the hook too easily.If you choose to use an accountability partner. If we are not fully committed to that goal. It does no good to have someone who will not really hold you accountable. Is it a goal that you truly want? Why do you want it? What are the benefits of obtaining that goal? What are the penalties for not obtaining it? How will your life change with or without achieving the goal? These are tough questions and are not to be answered lightly. we might not believe that we are capable of having that much or we might not believe that we deserve to have that much money. you need to examine your desires concerning that goal. it was actually exported to Japan by Edward Deming. we will let our fears keep us from taking the action that must be taken to achieve that goal.
Let’s say you wanted to go on a diet and lose 10 pounds. But if you used the kaizen method. the way we act. The unknown provokes fear. we undertake to make massive changes in a short period of time. the changes will be so small that the ego does not even realize we are making changes. Our ego is comfortable with life as it is. instead of cutting our candy bars totally. I totally endorse such a program.The whole concept of the kaizen is to take small but consistent steps toward your goal. Some people make a goal to devote one or two hours per day to such a program. Generally when we set out to make changes. Change involves the unknown. However. your mind will work to keep things as they are. It is uncomfortable with changes and will in fact take action to make sure the changes do not come about. Another example might be starting a self-development. We are probably not even aware of the fear. But if we attempt the changes using the kaizen method. we bring about fear. Therefore when we try to make substantial changes in what we are doing. Let me give you a specific example. selfimprovement program. Self-discipline would really not be required. And if you start out trying to devote an hour per day you might carry it out for a week or © Teach the Soul – 2007 95 . Say for instance. instead of jumping on a diet you would start so small that it would hardly be noticeable. Something so small that anyone could do it. Changes too small to register on the fear scale are acceptable to the ego. but at an emotional level. our ego resists the changes. that can be a bit overbearing for some people. as a natural reaction to the changes. you might decide to break off the first bite and throw it away. Your mind will take that as a major change and while you might not recognize it as fear.
The second method is to make sure we are totally committed. Fear would have been behind the abandonment. You may also find emotional support by using an accountability partner. So the more we know. There are three basic methods to overcome fear. Now anyone should be able to devote five minutes per day to self-improvement. And if you keep up the five minutes until it becomes an ingrained habit. fear is an emotion and rarely will we be able to rationally overcome our fear by saying there is nothing to be afraid of. Set the steps so small that anyone could do them. you will get there © Teach the Soul – 2007 96 . The more you know the less that is unknown. it would then be easy to expand to 10 minutes per day. The more we learn about what we fear.two before you totally abandoned the idea. And the last method is the kaizen method. To recap. Be sure you have strong emotional drives that will propel you to our goals. Gradual small steps would eventually get you to the hour or two hours per day that would be your ultimate goal. Get it out in the open and see the reality of what you fear. Just make sure the accountability partner will truly hold you accountable. If the emotional drive toward your goal is stronger than the fear. the less hold it will have on us. you will have no trouble doing what is needed. So the very first step in overcoming fear is to understand as much as you can about what you are fearful of. But you would have done it so gradually you never would have induced the fear of the unknown. you might start with five minutes per day. Your mind would have generated excuses not to continue. But if you employed the kaizen method. the less there is to fear. It is the unknown that we fear. Often we fear the concept or the shadow rather than the reality. By taking small but consistent steps to achieve your goals. First is to examine the fear.
“Make each day count. If you are going to be successful in life. And unfortunately we allow more and more things to become urgent. You have some control over how you choose to use your time. © Teach the Soul – 2007 97 . Time cannot be saved or compressed. I am too busy.much faster and if the steps are small enough. Give up on the idea of managing time. “I don’t have any time.” You probably have seen some books or courses on time management. the more likely we will become overwhelmed at all the important things that need to be done. Adopt the motto. The truth is we cannot manage time. And of course – time flies. You must stop letting the minutes slip away from you. there will be no fear involved. They are always put off until tomorrow. The more important things we allocate to some future time period. Time One of the most often heard phrases today is.” Of course there are lots of variations of that phrase. you must learn to get the most value out of your day. Accept that you can only manage yourself. tasks and your commitments. The end result is none of the important things ever get done. We often let the urgent take control of our lives and therefore put off the really important task until some future time. I don’t know where the day went. Manage your projects.
It is common for us to handle these urgent tasks without regard to the value of the task.” As the story goes. The consultant replied that was a fairly easy task. the consultant asked him to put those items in their order of importance. While there is something to be said for getting things done. We just don’t have the time to do what we know needs to be done. The president reportedly replied. “We know what needs to be done. He further © Teach the Soul – 2007 98 .For most of us a ringing telephone or cell phone is an urgent matter. he would gladly pay him any reasonable sum he requested. we just put it on top of the list and get it done. He asked the president to take out a pencil and paper. You must learn not to let the urgent take precedence over the important. And often there is some small task to be accomplished as a result of the call. he told the president that he could show him how to improve the productivity and profit of the organization by identifying what needed to be done. the president further told him that if he could show them a system for doing what they knew needed to be done. if it is at the expense of something that is 5 or 10 times more important. Then to list the six most important tasks he needed to accomplish tomorrow. it is not the best use of your time. Normally we do not stop and gauge the value of the task. He was pitching the president of the steel company of the value of his services. There is a story told about a management consultant who was trying to secure a consulting job for a major steel manufacturing company. As part of his sales presentation. Once he had listed the six items. It must be answered. We need to decide on our most important tasks and rank those tasks in order of importance. The very best way to make sure that we are handling things in their order of importance is to plan our time.
If he could not finish item number one because he was waiting on someone else for more information or action. you can go to the other tasks that need to be done. There are a couple of points worthy of mentioning. Often we allow the telephone to rule our activities. While it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are making progress by crossing things off our list. I have seen people that had 20. When that happens.000 for that simple but highly effective system. If you finish the important tasks and still have time. The most common time vampires are the telephone. Be on the lookout for time vampires. But so long as he had all the information. 30 and even 50 items on their to do list. We think that we must stop whatever we are doing and give our full attention to the telephone. interruptions by co-workers. You need to always make sure you are working on the important tasks. it is reported that the voluntarily sent the consultant a check for $25. television and other such unimportant activities. A few years ago. But if you never get to those unimportant tasks. it might have © Teach the Soul – 2007 99 . You will notice that he limited his to do list to six items. it is okay. we are not working on the most important things. emails. then put it aside and work on item number two. he was not to stop work on item number one for any reason.instructed the president that when he arrived at work tomorrow morning he was to work on item number one and stick with it until it was finished. there is the tendency to work on the easy items first to get them off the list. Well the president meet with so much success using this system. You need to list your tasks in the order of importance and spend your time and energy on the most important things first. Time vampires suck up your time.
have it so that you get notified every time you receive a new email. Most email is not so important that it needs to be answered immediately. you can gather any information you need to complete the call. It is a real time saving technique to check and answer your email once in the morning and once in the afternoon. you will save a tremendous amount of time. Then return the call on your schedule. That is simply not the case now. It is best to have designated time for scheduled meetings to discuss projects than to be interrupted ever time a question arises. Most emails are simply not that important.been more important to answer each and every call. Email can be a real time vampire if you check your email every hour or so. One of the most effective methods of effectively utilizing your time is to block out time for certain tasks. Let’s say that you © Teach the Soul – 2007 100 . you are giving up control of your life. getting everyone together for a schedule meeting ensures that everyone gets the same information together and reduces the time lost in individual explanations. It is much more productive to let most calls go to voice mail. This forces the caller to leave a message about the nature of the call and if the call is important to you. Don’t fall into the habit of letting email become a time vampire. If you give up control of your time. interruptions from co-workers can really suck up your time. It is difficult to estimate the time lost in starting and stopping whatever you might have been working on. or worse yet. Do not let other control your time. If you have more than one person who reports to you or works on a peer level. The important lesson concerning time vampires is you must control your time. If you have your co-workers collect all their questions and schedule a fixed time to go over them. If you work in an office.
We might be checking out email while we are on the phone. you will be able to accomplish a lot more than normal. inspirational. be there. As the business owner. motivational audio programs while you are driving. I must warn you. or even while someone is talking to us. But the rewards are well worth it. To a large extent. If you block out one morning and one afternoon each week to concentrate on marketing and then focus your attention on that task. There is a saying that I really like – wherever you are. You will need to discipline yourself and train those who work with you. Most marketing is hit and miss. There are a few activities where it makes sense to engage in multi-tasking efforts. Where ever you are. If you are doing some mundane task like folding envelopes you might be able to © Teach the Soul – 2007 101 . Do not let anything short of a real emergency interrupt your time blocks. While in theory. it sounds like making good use of your time. But by blocking out the time and not letting anyone or anything interrupt you. one of the most important tasks you have is marketing. the value of time blocking lies in not allowing anything encroach on your designated activity during the allocated time period. One that I highly recommend is to listen to educational. it is not. Multi-tasking is one of the buzz words in our daily life. That simply means give your full attention to whatever you are doing. We probably are all guilty of attempting to multi-task at some time during the day. at first this will be a bit of a challenge. you will see remarkable improvements in your marketing efforts.own your own business. be there.
If you are attempting to do paperwork. The vast majority of the time you attempt to do two things at once. You will do a much better job in less time by giving your full attention to the main task. In some cases it is just poor manners. But anything where you are interacting with others. If you are truly not interested in what the other person has to say. It is not the way to save time. driving. check your email or other such task while talking on the phone. give them your full attention. in some cases it is downright rude and in most cases it is only partially engaged in two very different activities. shopping or engaged in any number of other activities and on their cell phone. It does not bode well for building relationships. Associates © Teach the Soul – 2007 102 . It is not the most effective use of ones time and attention. It is very easy to look around and spot someone dining out. at best you do both poorly. Generally the other person will pick up on your lack of total attention. Focus all your energies on the task at hand. you are not fully engaged in the task of attentively listening to the other person on the phone. If the other person is worth listening to.listen to audio programs. The term multi-task meant to be able to switch from one project to another with ease. tell them in as polite a manner as possible. A lot of people think that it means trying to do two things at once. focus on the activity at hand.
While you cannot change anyone. It is difficult enough to change yourself. If they are engaged in selfdestructive behavior and it has the potential to involve you. It is your reaction to their actions. you must not let their actions derail yours. There are some circumstances when you will need to break away from some family members. I am not saying that you must like all or any of the things the troublesome relative does. Often we do not make a conscious choice about the people we associate with. I have often been asked for advice on how to handle a negative family member or other relative. then take what ever steps are needed to distance yourself from the relationship. You have no ability to change another person. The second thing to remember is their actions really do not affect you. some closer than others that we would gladly trade in if only there were an outlet for them. If they are doing things that are detrimental to your well being then you cannot passively sit by and watch. We tend to associate with the people we meet at work or people we meet by accident. Let’s face it. we all probably have one or two relatives. The people you associate have way too much influence on your life to leave this to chance. it is © Teach the Soul – 2007 103 . But since you actually have no control over what anyone else does.Your life will be determined to a large part by the people you choose to associate with. It can be very difficult to design your life when you are surrounded by family and relatives who are working to keep you the way you are. The first thing you need to remember is you are not going to change them. You need to proactively decide on the people you will associate with in life. Learn to accept what they do with calmness. So save all your energy and efforts for yourself.
You need to be careful to avoid dependency relationships. It is helpful if you bring a specific agenda and stay focused on it. do not let people © Teach the Soul – 2007 104 . At the same time. Most successful people are more than happy to mentor sincere.foolish to stay in harms way when you know that eventually their actions will directly affect you. Explain that you would like to learn from them and ask if they are willing to give you some time and guidance on a regular basis. you can escape their influence. Do not ask someone to be your mentor and then disagree with their guidance. Don’t let them drag you down. These will be your mentors. Always come prepared to learn. These will be peer type relationships. the best thing is to simply give them a call. dedicated people. If you personally know someone that you want to mentor you. You control how you react to things. learn to block out their negative comments and actions. You must avoid people who want to make you dependent on them. If your family and relatives are just an annoyance and not a real impediment. you must honor their time and experience. Also look for people who wan to be more and achieve more from life. Even if you cannot escape their company. Show up on time for your appointments and be totally prepared for the session. How do you form new more valuable relationships? The first step is to take a look at what you aspire to become. What should you look for in a relationship? Look for people who have already achieved what you aspire to become. These are the people you want to be your mentors/role models. Then look for people who have already achieved what you want to become. Find out as much about them as you can. While they generally do not expect direct compensation.
Most people are not willing to pay the price for mentors or coaches. In addition when you engage the services of a mentor/coach. That is paid mentors or coaches. I have found on many occasions that the value of the contacts I make at such events far exceeds the cost of attending the programs. As you move up in life. you must make it a point to get to know the other people in attendance and then once you have returned from the program. Don’t wait until you need something © Teach the Soul – 2007 105 . They can help you rapidly accelerate your success. normally you will gain access to many other like minded individuals. You must be a giver. The connections you will gain will often prove much more valuable that the cost of the services. It works both ways – you need to associate with those who are where you want to be and those who want to be where you are. They think they are too expensive. There is no better way to help yourself than to help others. When we think of those associates that will have a major influence on our lives. One other thing you should do is to look for professionally sponsored educational workshops.become dependent on you. You want to associate with people who are independent yet understand and appreciate the value of working with others. boot camps and seminars in your chosen field. To truly gain the maximum value. we generally think of friends and coworkers. follow-up with all the contacts you made. You will be repaid many times over. But there is one other category that you should not overlook. The right mentor/coach will return many times the cost of their services. Actually this is something that you are going to need to get over if you truly want to be highly successful. be quick to support and help others who are trying to improve themselves. conferences.
People are constantly preoccupied about money or the need for more money in their lives. it will be there. I cannot know what stories you heard about money when you were a child.from the people you met. If something is that important. Build the relationship and then when you need some help. Yet as important as many people try to make money. Or perhaps it is more correct to say the lack of money. W. Making Money There is nothing so degrading as the constant anxiety about one’s means of livelihood. you would think that people would have a better attitude about money. very few people really understand what money is and how it is earned.” © Teach the Soul – 2007 106 . truly understand what money is and how to obtain the money the need. They tend to measure success in terms of money. Your attitude about money was probably heavily influenced by how your parents viewed money. “Money does not grow on trees. Many people make money a very important part of their lives. Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. Somerset Maugham It seems like money is on everyone’s mind. but I can tell you some of the more popular things that most of us were taught about money in our childhood.
” Like accumulating money above a certain amount must involve some illegal activity. Money is dirty and having too much probably means you were engaged in some illegal activity. “Your father has to work hard for his money. And in fact it can seemingly grow on trees or out of thin air. “The love of money is the root of all evil.”) “They are filthy rich. Hard work generally does not guarantee a sufficient amount of money. So what is money? First I will say what money is not. it would be as follows: You have to work really hard for money. It is not dirty.” If you were to summarize all the attitudes about money that most of us heard when we were children. And there is no correlation between hard work and money. (The Bible verse says. Actually the people that work the hardest are generally at the lower end of the economic scale. I’ll explain that a little later. Having a lot of money does not mean you were involved in anything illegal. Wanting money is evil. Money is actually not scarce at all.“Money is the root of all evil. The people working with a shovel or doing other demanding back breaking work generally are on the lower end of the economic ladder. All giving us a totally incorrect view of money.” Like somehow having money made one dirty. The folks in the white shirts that only © Teach the Soul – 2007 107 . “They have more money than the law allows. which is scarce. We were all taught some or all of those lessons.
How does the marketplace determine the value of your time? By the complexity of the job you perform and the amount of time it takes to train someone to do the job and the number of people capable of doing that job. You probably have a few dollars in your purse or wallet and can easily recognize that as money. Give higher value services or give the same value services to more people.break a sweat on the handball or tennis court generally make multiples of the income of the hardest working class. It is not your time. You probably get paid for a certain amount of time worked – either per hour or per month. you must understand what money is. Now you may think that you know what money is. But do you really understand at a deeper level what money is? If you want to increase your level of money. But you are not really getting paid by the hour. So for the workers in the © Teach the Soul – 2007 108 . But the money you receive is the value of the services you render. Now you may be thinking that explanation is rather simple and you already knew that. you can do so in only two ways. You are getting paid for the value you bring to that hour. Money of course is simply a medium of exchange. You cannot design your life to have all the money you want or need if you do not understand this concept. It makes commerce much easier because then it is not necessary for us to barter our services for the things we need. If you want to make more money. You may know it but do you apply that knowledge in your life? Let’s talk about your job. it is the value you bring to the marketplace during and it is measured in a period of time.
Therefore the value they bring to the marketplace is much greater. And there are business executives that thought of new ways to do business that have become extremely wealthy in a few short years. you will see that all these people. You can earn as much as you wish so long as you are supplying what other people want or need. you have professional people who spend years in training and are not easily replaces. Of course the easy examples are writers and artist that create things of great value using little more that paper and ink or canvas and paint. It takes less than a day to train them in the basics of their job and unfortunately there are always a lot of folks willing to do that job. If attaining a more affluent life is part of your design. But if you look beyond the idea. artist and business executive either brought very high value to a few people or a little value to the masses of people. the writer. they did not come by their wealth from their own labor. What value can you bring to the marketplace? What unique talent or service can you provide to others? Will you concentrate on high value © Teach the Soul – 2007 109 . there is one question that you must answer. I said I would explain that money does “grow on trees. Now if you want to earn more. you must find out how to bring more value to the market place. They got wealthy by implementing their ideas. their pay is not that much. On the other end of the scale.” Well it is actually better than growing on trees.fast food outlets or the cashier in the local supermarket. If you study most of the wealthy people. Money can be created out of thin air. But there are software developers that have created fortunes with their intellectual ideas. They have created money from their ideas.
Said differently. we tend to place a lower value on them. the outcome is the same. you need to make the product or service as unique as possible. The more people think of a product or service as a commodity – that is basically the same no matter who is selling it – the more the decision is based solely on price. We tend to discount the value of whatever we offer for sale. The more a product or service is reduced to a commodity. in general their prices will be cheaper. It done correctly. Since we are totally familiar with our products or services. Some people do it themselves but a large number of people hire a professional to prepare their tax return. I What is the value of your goods or services? This is a real problem for most people. On the other hand.services to a select few or will you try to expand your services to the masses.000 or even higher. the less they are able to charge. And often © Teach the Soul – 2007 110 . the more competitive pressure there will be in the market place. The less selective the firm preparing the return. Let’s take an example of a service that most everyone has used – the preparation of their tax return. that appeal only to a select few or to highly specialized situations will be able to charge significantly higher fees. The fees to prepare an identical tax return can run from a low of around $200 to $1. In order to increase the value of any product or service. the firms that are highly selective. if they are appealing to the mass market. But the fee can be significantly different depending on some positioning on the part of the company providing the service.
There is one other thing you should consider. How hard do you want to work for your money? Let’s consider a couple of examples.000 in billings. It is better to work less and make more than you wear yourself out and still not make any money. Some potential clients might not be willing to pay the higher price. Just for example. If you were booked solid. at the lower rate and only worked 40 hours per week. you would then charge $200 per each return you prepared. The point of this example is to show the value of raising your rates. you would bill out $4. you might only attract enough clients to bill out 30 hours per week. That means that you would need to charge $400 per each return. There might be some price resistance. If you decided you wanted to make an average of $100 per hour. Let’s say you were doing tax returns. Now consider an alternate situation. you probably would not get quite as much business. Even if you only worked half time you would bring in the same dollar amount. But at the higher billing rate. let’s say you could do one tax return every two hours. © Teach the Soul – 2007 111 .times the level of complexity or amount of work involved is relatively the same. And that is what will happen when you compete on price. If you were going with the higher billing rate. even working only 30 hours per week would bring in $6. Here is where things get interesting. There are very few businesses where you can compete on price and still make good money. Let’s say you wanted to make $200 per hour.000 per week. But if you choose the higher billing rate. You stand a much better chance of being highly successful is you will concentrate on providing higher value products or services and charging accordingly.
The value of your services and the number of people you can reach. then the potential number of customers is limited to the population within a certain radius of your base of operations.How much can you earn? The amount of money you can earn will be determined by the value of the services you provide and the number of people you reach. However. If your product or service requires face to face interaction. growth and profitability of your business. How do you decide on a product or service? One of the worst mistakes you can make is to develop a product or service that you are in love with only to find there are not enough people who share your views. you have a much higher potential market. limiting yourself to a certain geographical area can have some serious limitations on the potential size. © Teach the Soul – 2007 112 . On the other hand. if your product or service can be delivered digitally or over the phone. There are two components to making money. The number of people you can reach will depend to some extent on the nature of your product or service. Just because you have the potential for a huge market does not necessarily mean that is the ideal market for you. And to a large extent that is determined by the distribution channels available to you. You need to be aware of the number of potential consumers of your product or services.
You are probably the worst judge of the merits. energy and money on developing a product that there is insufficient demand for. Even though they are trying to be open and honest.000. you need to have position your product or service as something special. They were not willing to ensure their bet by spending the $50. The only true indicator is to do market test when it requires a potential consumer to plunk down some money. Your friends and relatives are a close second.000.000 project because they “knew” the market. Make sure you have a good market for your product before you build a business that the market will not support. Market research is the least expensive and perhaps the most important part of any project or business decision. The people in focus groups are like most humans. Specialize. You must develop some unique approach. Value position If you are going to segregate yourself/business from the crowd. Become an expert in your field. but ultimately the market place will decide what your goods or services are worth. Beware of asking your friends and relatives about the merits of your idea. you will need to develop some unique product or service.You will need to do some market research before you spend a lot of time. painter or brain surgeon. You can be the best carpenter. It order to appeal to your market.000 on market research on a $50. they have a built in inclination to tell you what you want to hear. But the more © Teach the Soul – 2007 113 . Even paid focus groups can and often miss the mark when it comes to evaluating market demand. And eventually they lost considerably more because the market was not ready for the product. I have seen businesses reluctant to spend $50. You can decide on the value of your services.
Only by offering something different will you be able to charge premium prices for your products or services. The market cannot buy what it does not know about or value. No one will be offering exactly the same product or service you are offering.” It does not matter how good your product or service. For example a typical book at Amazon or Barnes and Noble might go for $15 – 25.unique. you must be able to clearly establish the value of what you are offering. without effective marketing – you will have lots of product gathering dust and idle time on your hands. you focus on the results the user will derive from the product. Not only must you be proficient in attracting customers to your product or service. And if you want to achieve a high degree of financial success. “Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. you will need to charge premium prices for your services.” Now Emerson was one of America’s brightest thinkers and writers. Some products or services have some clear upper limits on the value of the product or service. © Teach the Soul – 2007 114 . But if your book product clearly has value beyond what is typical. you will need to establish that. the less the market will be able to compare you to someone down the street. But that one he got completely wrong. What is the most important skill in business? Emerson once said. “Build a better mousetrap but without effective marketing mice will multiply. How do you establish value? You don’t focus on the product. I would alter it to read like this. You must become an expert at marketing. Skills or proficiency does not determine demand for your product of service.
it would surely be worth a few hundred dollars. The first step in becoming a good marketer is to get away from the position of trying to sell your product and step into the potential buyer’s position. you need to develop your USP – unique selling proposition. not much. special and not available else where. But to a struggling single mom. the easier and cheaper it is to direct your marketing campaign. Look at the proposition from the buyer’s point of view. if your book taught a person how to start and run a business that would easily make them $75. This is only one small aspect of marketing. Once you have narrowed down your target market. If you cannot identify a highly targeted market. The better you can target the potential market. you need to get away from the focus on the product and get the potential user to focus on the results to them. It is much too expensive for a small company to market a mass market product. You need to identify your target market. The market really does not care about the features. This is your message to your market. I have met with businessmen who said their product would appeal to everyone. It tells your market the benefits of your product or service. you do not have a market. You need to have a narrow market that you can segment and identify. if it could fulfill its value proposition. You will need to learn all the steps in marketing a product or service. what would the value of that book be? Well to a brain surgeon. Again.000 per year and the information was unique. Too many people get hung up on telling all the features of the product or service. What need or problem will your product solve for the buyer? © Teach the Soul – 2007 115 . The potential user is interested in one thing – what’s in it for me – this is often shown as an acronym WIIFM. Only in this way can you afford to market to them.For example.
the social proof should not be in glowing terms of how nice a person you are or how easy it is to do business with you. One other thing on your marketing message – you need to make a bold promise. You need a bold promise. Our marketing process ask those who are interested to raise their hands and ask for a special report. All they really care about is will the product or service provide the benefits you claim. © Teach the Soul – 2007 116 . So you are going to need to supply some social proof that your product produces the results you claim. Your product or service needs to really fulfill a need in a big way. This takes time. Today a lot of marketing is call permission marketing. a free sample or some other sort of legitimate bribe which in turn gives the marketer permission to contact them in the future. Buyer’s today are not that willing to part with their money. Today’s consumers are highly skeptical. If your product or service is just average. you have the opportunity to build trust. then you are going to have a difficult time appealing to the consumers. it is important to cover the highlights here. You will need to build a relationship with the potential buyers. Again. With each contact you have with the potential buyer. Most have been sold some snake oil and once burnt. Then the marketing system begins an automated series of spaced contacts designed to build a relationship and eventually convert the person to a paying customer. Remember the potential buyer does not really care how polite you are.You should not approach the marketing as a one shot deal. While this is far short of a complete course on marketing. There are a couple of other things you should know. You will need to take a longer term approach to the marketing process. We identify and reach out to a target market. twice shy.
it may be the only sale you will make to that customer.Now you certainly should not make a promise that your product or service cannot live up to. Life time value of a customer Most business people think the purpose of the first sale is to make a profit. bigger and ultimately more profitable. If you build your business model so that you are trying to make a profit on the first and every sale. They are looking to spend their money on something that gives very short term benefits. If you are like most marketers and squeeze all you can out of the first sale. That means no takers. Hence you will limit the size of the business. People are not willing to spend today on a benefit too far in the future. But if you learn to over deliver. If you understand the life time value of a customer and realize that it is a much more profitable business model to spend more money on the front end and develop more customers your business will grow faster. to spend the money getting the customer and making sure that customer © Teach the Soul – 2007 117 . But unless you really have faith in your product and boldly proclaim the benefits. be careful that you are not selecting something that has long term benefits but requires short term sacrifice. you are going to get a ho-hum reaction from the market place. So when selecting your product. you are going to limit the amount of funds available for marketing. Therefore you will be able to attract fewer customers. You should understand that it is about ten times harder to sell prevention than it is to sell a cure. Dan Kennedy preaches that the purpose of the first sale is to get a customer.
And your marketing cost will be much lower. then you will have a much higher repeat business. You must jealously guard your position with © Teach the Soul – 2007 118 . So the life time value of a customer is what they are likely to buy from you over their life as a customer. And certainly since a part of your marketing campaign will ask (or bribe) them to. Most of the money you spend on the marketing on the front end will not need to be spent on the second and subsequent sale. it is very likely that they will refer their friends and associates to you. you will find it much easier to sell to them again and again. it is highly unlikely they will be a huge source of referrals. You will also need to factor in the value of the referrals a satisfied customer will make. how do you ever make it back? Well once you have a satisfied customer. If you have a one time sale. it is extremely easy to abuse that trust by selling them some product or service that is overpriced or misrepresented. you need to treat them with respect.gets a great value proposition. But if you have a satisfied customer that is continually buying from you. Now you might say if you lose money on the first sale. But a strong customer base that believes in you and the value of your products is absolutely the biggest asset your company will ever develop. A lot of businesses profess that their employees is their most valuable asset. Develop customers for life Since we just learned that our customer base if the most valuable asset your business will ever develop. Once you have developed the customers trust. Therefore the profit margins will be much higher. You need to learn to look at a potential customer as the most valuable asset your business can acquire.
it will. If you wish to be successful you need to develop a team. And they wonder why they do not achieve spectacular success. It is very difficult to develop customers. You will never be more successful than quality of your team. then you better start getting a new team. It is actually much better to hire highly qualified talent on an as needed basis and hire for the specific skills needed at that time. If you ever think of asking yourself if some promotion might lose a customer. You should develop a million dollar rolodex of go to people that you can count on the provide whatever help you need. It is not worth the risk.your customer base. Make it a point to build a highly qualified team and always be on the lookout for bright highly successful to add to your team. © Teach the Soul – 2007 119 . you would find that the success is not really a one man (or woman) show. Who is on your team? If you could get an inside glimpse of a highly successful person’s business. Too many people fill their team with people that have the same mindset and skills as they do. You can lose them in a heartbeat. If you don’t have a team of people that are smarter and possess skills that you don’t possess. Do not get taken in by the lure of short term profits. There are always plenty of people helping out. It is not necessary that all or for that matter any of the team members be employees.
If you really want to succeed in life, you must develop persistence. It has been said that success leaves footprints. So study some successful people. What is one characteristic most of them have in common? If you study successful people, you will find that a large percentage of them have found a niche and stuck with it. They did not jump from one opportunity to the next. They did not chase every dream or get rich quick scheme that was presented to them. They found a niche and stuck with it. It really does not matter what area you choose to specialize in, it will take some time to establish yourself in your chosen field. You will need to learn the ins and outs of your particular business. Then depending on your marketing, it will take some time for you and the business to gain traction. You can speed it up with good marketing. But very likely, you will not start at the top of the game. Here is where most people go wrong. They try it for a few months and when they don’t meet with instant success, they think there is something wrong with their chosen field. The grass looks greener in some other pasture. But if you are going to be highly successful, you must learn to stay the course. Often people give up just when they are at the brink of a break through. If things are going a little slow, put a little more energy into the business. Giving up or switching directions too soon runs a great risk. You must learn to hang in there and be persistent. If something is basically wrong with your business model, don’t be stubborn. Learn to tell the
© Teach the Soul – 2007
difference between a structural problem with the model and an execution problem. Most problems are with the execution. We don’t do all the things we should or we don’t execute efficiently. If you are doing everything correct from an operational/marketing standpoint, then it is time to question the business assumptions.
Designing your life can be reduced to two concepts – getting clear and taking focused action. There is so much going on in each of our lives, it is often difficult for us to get really clear – and if we are not clear, focused action is simply not possible. We often get sidetracked, we become opportunistic rather than strategic, that is we jump on each and every opportunity that comes our way. There is an abundance of opportunity. But you have limited time and resources. You must decide on your highest value activities. Devote your time to making your high priority items work successfully. There is generally more money in doing one thing extremely well than in doing ten things moderately okay. The better you get at doing your particular task, the more valuable you become. If you are not achieving what you want, check on your clarity of purpose. If your purpose is clear, examine how much action you are taking toward your goals. What is holding you back?
© Teach the Soul – 2007
Achieving your goals is not nearly as difficult as most people think. If you find you are having trouble reaching your goals, you are probably doing something wrong. Here is a list you can use to find out what you might be doing wrong. 1. Are your goals written? Are they clear? Is there a specific time frame for accomplishing them? 2. Have you identified all the resources you will need to accomplish your goals? 3. Have you identified where you might find the resources you do not currently have? 4. Have you asked for help in obtaining the resources you need? 5. Have you made a step by step plan for obtaining your goals? 6. Are you following the plan? 7. Are you waffling between conflicting goals? Do you say you want something but act totally different? 8. Are you failing to take action on your plan? Why? Ask yourself why you are not doing the things you know you should be doing? 9. If you are slipping, revisit your goals. Ask yourself why you listed the goal in the first place. What outcome were you expecting from this goal? How important to you was this outcome? If you don’t have a strong “why” for each
© Teach the Soul – 2007
© Teach the Soul – 2007 123 . So re-examine your “why” for each goal.and every goal. You will come to accept failure as a way of life and that will destroy your drive. you will not have the driving force necessary to achieve it. Those goals that were merely wishes should be removed from your list. You do not want to get into the habit of listing half-hearted goals and then not putting in the effort.
Reading When you are just starting out. listening to audio programs. You should also read some psychology books. This can be biographies of successful men (and unsuccessful for that matter – so you learn what not to do). You need a good understand of why people do what © Teach the Soul – 2007 124 . You will do best to take a systematic approach to your reading. attending live programs and at some point in your development you will need to take the leap and engage mentors and coaches that will help you accelerate your growth. the least expensive method of learning and growing is to read good books. you must become a student of business. While you can learn a lot and make a certain amount of progress from mentors who do not charge directly for their time and advice. you must develop a habit of continuous learning and growing. how-to business books.Additional resources As you learned earlier. if you wish to achieve your full potential in life. develop the habit of reading for a fixed amount of time each day. An investment that will build in value and continue paying dividends for the rest of your life. You should read those types of books that will assist you in your growth. at some point in your development you will need to spring for paying big bucks to personal attention. That will involve reading books. You must become a student of life and if you wish to succeed in business. Look at them as an investment in yourself. You will need to adopt a multi-prong approach to learning and growing. That is. marketing and management. Don’t look at any of these costs as expenses.
motivational As a Man Thinketh How to Get What You Want My Personal Best James Allen Orison Sweet Marden John Wooden Edward L. Also round out your reading with history and philosophy. Here are my top ten lists of business and life books: Self help. Why we do What we do: Understanding Self-motivation Deci A Manual for Living (A Little Book of Wisdom) Epictetus Mindset: The New Psychology of Success The Power of the Subconscious Mind The Greatest Salesman in the World Carol Dweck Joseph Murphy Og Mandino Man’s Search for Meaning The University of Hard Knocks Viktor E. Frankl Ralph Parlette © Teach the Soul – 2007 125 .they do. inspirational.
Business books: Dr. Jackie Freiberg The Richest Man in Babylon The Magic of Thinking Big George Clason David Schwartz All Marketers are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-trust World Seth Godin Secrets of the Millionaire Mind T. Deming Rafael Aguayo Selling the Invisible: A Field Guide to Modern Marketing Harry Beckwith Influence: Science and Practice Robert Cialdini Think and Grow Rich Good to Great Napoleon Hill Jim Collins Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success Kevin Freiberg. Harv Eker © Teach the Soul – 2007 126 .
Deepak Chopra. The best way to imprint the ideas in our brain is by repetition. Earl Nightingale. Of course. The following are a partial list of the programs I have listened to. Dan Kennedy. Jack Canfield. This is a partial list of programs that I recommend. you can and should check ebay. listen to it often. Jim Rohn. Please understand I have only listed a fraction of what is available © Teach the Soul – 2007 127 . Denis Waitley and Jim Fay. Brian Tracy.Audio One of the best ways to accelerate your learning is to turn your drive time into learning time. Zig Ziglar. You can put any of the above names in your search engine and it will give you any number of web sites where you can buy their material. You can do this by listening to audio CDs while you are driving. Psychologists tell us that we need to internalize ideas – that is make them our own – for them to really work for us. Napoleon Hill. Ron White. But the important point is to engage in a program of continuous learning. Jack Zufelt. Once you find a program that you relate to. I am sure you can find many more. As long as you are buying CDs the material should be in good condition and you can get it at a fraction of the cost. Tony Robbins.
Associate with them.Mentors/coaches You are not going to learn million dollar ideas from the shoe shine boy. You can only learn that one way. Like most other products or services. And if you want to be in the circle of millionaires.000 per year for their inner circle coaching programs. It is just that as stated before. And as a result. we often look for the least expensive coach / mentor and think we have gotten a great deal or saved some money. This is a very short-sighted approach to finding a coach / mentor. there is no objective method of measuring one service against another. we tend to make our selection on price. your income will depend in part on the caliber of people you associate with. Do not look at saving money in this area. There is a need for them and I am glad that some people have decided that is their calling in life. © Teach the Soul – 2007 128 . I am not trying to be mean to the shoe shine boy. There are many high level coaches that charge upwards of $10. However you will find that most of the people who get in these programs tend to stay in them. We have been conditioned to shop for goods and services by price. the price often is an indication of the quality. They stay in them for one reason. you have to think and act like a millionaire. They get more out of the program than it cost. It is very difficult for us to evaluate coaching /mentoring services. Often for a few dollars more you can expect a much greater return on your investment. then you need to seek out a highly successful coach / mentor. When we have no other means to gauge the value of a product or service. If you are looking to be among the very top income earners. After all.
The first of course is you should learn something new each time you attend an event. Do not just hand out business cards. Do not be afraid to © Teach the Soul – 2007 129 . you will see some amazing results. But as you learn and grow. there will come a time when it is right for you. Of course. learning a new idea will not.I am not suggesting that you jump into one of these expensive coaching programs right off the bat. There are two reasons. boot-camps. You must implement the idea. But if you will learn one or two ideas from each event you attend. it does not matter how much you are paying – the value will not be there. workshops. by itself change anything. The time does not have so much to do with the size of your business and your willingness to be open to accept the coaching and to take action. Make it a point to really connect with three to five people. Learn what they do and how you could possibly help them. The value is not so much in what you learn but the action you take on what you learn. Attend seminars. You should plan to attend at least one or two live programs each and every year. You must be willing to do the work yourself. Often times you will gain more value from the people you meet at events than you will get from the stage. make it a point to get around. You do not need to learn 10 or 15 things to make the event worthwhile. and then implement the idea with massive action. No coach can take the action for you. The second reason to attend live events is the people you will meet. But chances are you would never meet some of the people unless you attended the events. If you are not willing to listen and take action. Just one or two new ideas can make a huge difference in your life or your business. So make it a point to go to events and then once there.
you still need a system to follow. You should make copies of this worksheet and use one copy for each goal. Designing Your Life Appendix A Goals Worksheet If you are going to achieve all the goals you have listed. You cannot approach your goals in a casual manner and expect to achieve them. Some people are under the mistaken impression that all you need to do is write down your goals and by keeping them in front of you they will by some magic appear. you will need to follow a system. State your goal: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ State why you want to achieve this goal: © Teach the Soul – 2007 130 .share your knowledge. the more active you are about making connections. The following is a basic path to achieve any goal. The more you put into an event. While you must keep your focus on what you want. the more value you will obtain.
________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What will be the changes in your life as a result of achieving this goal? How is your life going to change as a result of setting and achieving this goal? Are you prepared to learn and grow? Are you comfortable with the changes you expect from achieving this goal? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is your goal a SMART goal? Is it specific? Is there any way for you to get more specific about the goal? Remember the more specific you are. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is the goal measurable? © Teach the Soul – 2007 131 . You need some strong emotional reasons for wanting to achieve this goal.Remember your “why” must be strong enough to propel you to action when the going gets a little rough. Your subconscious mind works best when the directions are very clear. the easier it will be to obtain.
_____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ____ Is it realistic? You must make sure that the goal you have set is realistic for you. Don’t set goals that are totally out of the realm of possibilities.How will you know when you achieved the goal? Are there milestones along the way to measure your progress? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is it attainable? Your goal needs to stretch you from where you are now to where you want to be. make you learn more and try new and different things. having a goal to play professional basketball is probably unrealistic. _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ © Teach the Soul – 2007 132 . it should not be so far that you give up before you even start. Are there things in your physical make-up that make achieving the goal unrealistic? For example if you are under 5 feet tall. But while the goal should stretch you.
In short. you will not be propelled to action. While you need a specific time frame for achieving your goal. You need some deadlines to force you to take action. While the goal might represent the arrival of a certain point in your life or career. For example if you were looking to start your own business. you would pick a market. see if you could identify a niche within that market. © Teach the Soul – 2007 133 . for a major goal there a number of smaller steps that need to be accomplished in order to achieve the goal. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Plan of Action Now that you are totally confident that your goal qualifies as a SMART goal we are ready to design a plan of action. you also should have some time frames for achieving steps along the way. determine if you wanted or needed employees. etc. pick a location to run your business._____________________________________________________ _____ Time You must assign a time frame for achieving your goal. So the first step in achieving any major goal is to break it down into as many small steps as possible. there are some intermediate steps to achieving each goal. If there is no specific time frame. decide on a plan of operations.
that is perfectly okay. If you need additional steps. Remember the smaller the step. © Teach the Soul – 2007 134 . money. the easier it should be to accomplish and the more confident you will be as you are making progress toward your goal. Next we will answer each of these questions for each step: What resources do I need to complete this step of my goal? Resources could be special knowledge.Step one:________________________________________ Step two:________________________________________ Step three:_______________________________________ Step four:________________________________________ Step Five:________________________________________ Step Six:_________________________________________ Step Seven:______________________________________ Step Eight:_______________________________________ Step Nine:________________________________________ Step Ten:________________________________________ You may be able to break your goal down into more steps. On the other hand you may find that there are not that many separate steps. expert help. If you find you want to break the goal down into more than 10 steps. or any other asset necessary to complete this step. just make a separate worksheet with the additional steps.
________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Where will I obtain the resources for this particular step? Be sure to list all the sources you can think of. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What results do I expect from the above actions? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ How will I measure the results of the actions to determine if they give me my expected outcome? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What actions will I take if the results are different from those that I expected? You may not be able to answer this because the different results might have a significant influence on the actions. guidance and help. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What actions do I need to take in order to complete this step of the goal? Is there a particular order to the actions I need to take? If so. Do not limit this to just your sources. list the actions in logical order. you will need to make some adjustments. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ © Teach the Soul – 2007 135 . Ask others for assistance. Just realize that if your results are different than what you expect.
________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Who can I enlist as an accountability partner? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Am I willing to be held accountable? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ How will I inform my accountability partner of the steps to be accomplished and my work toward accomplishing the steps? © Teach the Soul – 2007 136 .What is the time allotted for completing this step? Is this time realistic? What happens if the time schedule slips? What can I do to make sure the time schedule does not slip or if it slips can I make up the time somewhere else? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What am I going to do today to move me along the path toward the achievement of this step? You need to repeat this question each and every day until this step of the plan is complete.
then you are worse off. The very most important step is to take consistent action toward your goals.________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What time frame will we use to check my progress? This could be daily for some parts. My suggestion is to start off with small but consistent action and gradually increase the amount of action you are taking. Why not do them in a systematic fashion? If you do not set time deadlines and have some method to being held accountable. You will need to do all the steps anyway. Actually it will ultimately result in less work and a faster and more direct path to achieving your goals. The more action you take. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Your initial reaction might be that this is a lot of work. chances are you are trying to accomplish too much in too short a period of time. If you struggle with fear. But if your plan of action has you taking more action than you can handle and you lapse into inaction because of fear. your time frame and your commitment to your goals has a real chance of slipping. weekly for others and even monthly for overall progress. But you must decide and have a structure. So there is a trade off between recommending massive action and consistent action. Your success will be determined on the amount of action you take. © Teach the Soul – 2007 137 . the quicker you will realize your goals.
If you find you are following the action plan but getting stuck. © Teach the Soul – 2007 138 .The worksheet is general and is intended to cover most situations. I invite you to contact me for additional help.
© Teach the Soul – 2007 139 .
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue reading from where you left off, or restart the preview.