This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
© Teach the Soul – 2007
Table of Contents Introduction
You have the power to design your life. Designing your life is a process. Nothing magic, just follow the steps
Your core beliefs determine your actions. If you want your circumstances to change, you must change your core beliefs.
Mindset is an established set of attitudes. We need to have an open mindset. A closed mindset will not allow us to expand, grow and accept new things.
Too often we do not reach our goals because we are not totally clear. You must get clear about what you want. Hitting a target requires that we know what we are aiming at.
Learn how to set goals. Learn what a SMART goal is. Set goals that are positive.
Nothing matters unless you take action on your goals. Become a person of action. Aim, fire and adjust.
Fear keeps more people from achieving their goals than lack of skill, education or money. Learn to recognize and overcome fear.
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A common complaint today is lack of time. Everyone seems to be suffering from insufficient time. You can’t manage time. You must learn to schedule, prioritize and manage your projects or tasks. You cannot manage time, you can only manage yourself.
The people that we associate with will always have a direct bearing on the quality of our lives. This is in terms of money and satisfaction. We need to choose our friends very carefully. Although we do not get much choice in who are relatives are, we do have some control over the time we spend and the influence we allow them to have on our lives.
Most people are concerned about money or the lack of money. Yet they do not study money. They really do not understand what money represents.
The most successful people are not necessarily the smartest people. The most successful people are the ones who decided on a particular path in life and stuck to it long enough to become successful.
Designing Your Life is simple and can be reduced to two concepts – Getting clear about what you want and taking focused action toward your goals.
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Here you will find my recommendations for further study. Then you need to identify the resources needed and possible sources of obtaining the resources. designing your life involves constant learning and growing.com © Teach the Soul – 2007 4 . You need to become a student of life and business. Appendix A Goals Worksheet These are worksheets for helping you breakdown you goals into step by step action plans.Further Study As you will learn from this book. Then breakdown the goals into individual steps necessary to achieve. If you are working from a hard copy. get clear on why you want to achieve this goal and the difference achieving this goal will make in your life. you can download additional worksheets from WWW.XXXXYYYZZZ. You need to clearly state your goal.
But even then you choose to be reactive rather than proactive. It just does not work that way. you can design the life you want.Designing Your Life Introduction Are you getting all you want from life? Is your life what you had always hoped and dreamed it would be? If you want to design a life that is special. If you designed your current life. You cannot do what everyone else does. If you want to achieve a certain lifestyle. Well maybe you did not design it at all. different from the run of the mill. you must separate yourself from the crowd. Maybe you just took what came your way. You must get © Teach the Soul – 2007 5 . you must design it. What if I told you that you had the power to design whatever life you wanted? How would you feel knowing that you could design whatever lifestyle you wanted? Pretty powerful stuff. realize that you are responsible for your current situation. either by choice or by neglect. but just for now. Here is a very powerful truth. So by default. Now here is the part you may not like. You have always had that power. Maybe your life has been totally reactive. right? Well the truth is you have that power. to follow the crowd and expect to have an exceptional life. you designed your current life. To have an exceptional life. you actually designed your life as it is now. you are going to need to do a lot of things different. There is one thing you must understand. We will go much deeper into this.
The same is true of life. You cannot expect to achieve your dream lifestyle simply by drifting along and taking life as it comes. That there is no way to get from where you are to where you would like to be. are willing to clearly focus on your goals and do the necessary work. your ideal life mate and a life filled with purpose. The first in getting a clear focus on what they want and of course then doing the necessary work. But if you have average intelligence. For you to have the desired results on your ideal vacation requires a lot of planning. a standout movie star or a professional athlete. And here is what you certainly would not do. You would ask all your friends if they had any experience or knowledge about your dream location. how much time and energy would go into the planning the vacation? Quite a lot. It will not happen by accident. You must decide on what © Teach the Soul – 2007 6 . There are two problems that most people face. there is nothing that can hold you back. While I said that you cannot achieve totally unrealistic goals. Where do you suggest I go? But that is what so many people do in life. There is no magic that will make you a rock star. If you were going on a vacation of a lifetime.a clear picture of that lifestyle. you certainly can achieve a very high degree of wealth. Now I know very well what you may be thinking. You would find the best deals on flights and hotels. They go off on life’s journey with very little planning. I am not about to tell you that you can ever achieve anything that is totally unrealistic. You would search out all sorts of information about things to do and see. You would not show up at the ticket counter of an airline and tell the ticket agent. I going on my vacation of a lifetime.
you want. you will not be able to change your belief system. Based on your core values and core beliefs. You will continue doing the same things you have always done and you will get the same lifestyle you currently have. Getting clear You will need to be very clear about the life you want to design. Achieving happiness is not designing a lifestyle. allowing you to look at life from a different perspective. I just want to give you an overview of all that is involved. © Teach the Soul – 2007 7 . For now. If you want to change your circumstances. You must have an open mindset. You will also be asked to develop a mission statement. Open mindset You must be open to doing things differently. If you cannot accept new ideas and embrace change. One of the best ways to get clear about the life you want is describe it in writing in great detail. Your actions. This cannot be a mere wish. Your core values and beliefs This is what determines your actions. This is the vision you have for your life. you must change your belief system. We will go into the specifics of setting goals. You really need to get very clear. determine your circumstances. Here is an overview of what we will cover. you should develop a vision statement. This will outline how you bring your vision into reality. based on your belief system.
Achieving happiness is much too vague. What constitutes happiness? You will need to get clear about what you truly want in life. Getting clear demands that you get very specific. You cannot want a good job. Your subconscious mind cannot focus on a good job. You will need to be very specific about just what constitutes a good job. And you will need to be specific about what you truly want in each area of your life. Setting Goals Here we will work on what constitutes SMART goals. You will need to develop goals in all areas of your life. You may think that only your income needs improvement. But your life is not just your job or your income. You need to have balance in your life. Otherwise you will be like a car with a flat tire. The ride will be bumpy.
Taking action When all is said and done, it does not matter how much you know, how clear you are or how solid your belief system. Unless you take focused action, all it for naught. The results you want in life can only be achieved with focused action. There are generally two reasons that people do not take focused action. One is they are not quite sure where to start or exactly how to do what they are supposed to do. The other reason, the big one, is fear. We will address both of these roadblocks.
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Overcoming fear We all have a built in mechanism that causes us to fear the unknown. Almost everyday we hear about people that won’t get out of their comfort zone. The truth is we all experience some degree of fear when we encounter the unknown. And as we have seen, if you want to be successful in designing your life, you will need to do some things different. You will have to venture into some areas that will be new to you. You will experience some fear. It is normal. Accept it. But do not let it stop you or keep you from reaching your potential. We will explore different ways to deal with fear. Time Here is one place in life where we are all truly equal. At least in the amount of time we have. No one gets a break here. We all have twenty-four per day. Yet some people seem to get things done with ease while others are always in a panic, behind schedule and rushing around. We must learn to schedule our activities, prioritize and then concentrate on the most important ones. It really does not matter if some things simply don’t get done. Leave some things undone and our lives are the same way – undone. Associates It has been said that our income will never exceed the average income of our five closest friends. Who we associate with has a direct impact on our quality of life. Who we choose to associate with can expand our philosophy and outlook on life or it can be limiting. We can be uplifted and draw strength from our friends or we can associate with those that drain our energy and dampen our
© Teach the Soul – 2007
spirits. Choose your friends wisely. They will have a significant impact on your life. Making money If you are like most people, making money is at or near the top of your goals list. We live in a consumer oriented society and it takes a fairly decent level of income just to cover what most people consider the basic necessities of life. It does not do a lot of good to cover all the theories of goal setting, gaining clarity when you are not sure how you are going to put food on the table. This section will give you some insights on how to make an above average income. But please understand - making money is not the end game. Designing the life style you want is a process. You cannot skip to the making money section and dive in. Unless you get clear about your core beliefs, understand and develop an open mindset, get clear about what you truly want to do, set smart goals and take focused action, making money will always be difficult. All these things are building blocks to develop the skills you will need to make the money you desire.
The most successful people are not necessarily the brightest people I know. The most successful people are the ones who decide on a path in life and stick with it long enough to master the skills required to be successful in that particular field.
© Teach the Soul – 2007
If you are going to truly be successful in life. In any new venture. © Teach the Soul – 2007 11 . They are always jumping on the newest idea or opportunity. They are great at spotting opportunity. They are persistent.I know plenty of very bright people who can see the opportunity in countless business and personal situations. Successful people stick with it and overcome the problems. it is common to meet with initial success before encountering some problems. you need to develop persistence. Most people abandon the race when the problems start. The problem is they never stick with one business or one endeavor long enough to totally master the intricacies of that particular business.
there is no such thing as good luck or even bad luck. most of the time. The truth is they are not lucky. Except for random acts. we tend to think how lucky that person is. And their home life seems perfect. Earl Nightingale defined luck as “when preparedness meets opportunity. So the missing ingredient must be preparedness: most of us are not prepared to seize on the opportunities that exist everywhere. Luck has been defined as “to meet or acquire by accidental good fortune. You will not © Teach the Soul – 2007 12 . If you want to be like the lucky person who has everything in life.” There are opportunities before us at all times. Likewise.” This would apply to winning the lottery or any other such random event. When we meet or think about someone like that.Reaching your Personal Goals I am sure you have met someone who seemed to have everything in life a person could possibly want. All too often we attribute good things that happen in people’s lives to luck when we should really attribute it to preparedness. we often blame bad luck when in fact the real cause of the problems is being unprepared. But the person whose life is a total success did not obtain that position by accident. we are literally surrounded by them. They appear to love their job. It seems like they never have any financial worries. you simply must be totally prepared.
Financial success means very little if you are not happy with what you are doing. Our educational system provides us a lot of information. Most people think of success in terms of financial achievement. you will not be happy. our educational system does not really prepare us for success. It is very possible to achieve great financial success and still not have a successful life. fulfilling life. Only when you are reasonably comfortable with all areas of your life will you be content with your life. © Teach the Soul – 2007 13 . if the emotional. you must strive for harmony in your life. This course is designed to help you reach your personal goals. physical or spiritual areas of your life are lacking. but it does not give us a system for success. You will need to work on reaching your goals in all parts of your life. And even though we place a lot of emphasis on education.achieve that level of success by accident. Even if you enjoy what you are doing and are earning significant income from doing it. If your goal is to lead a happy.
The following are the broad divisions of your life: • • • • • • Relationships: spouse or soul mate. You simply cannot concentrate on your work and your finances to the exclusion of the other aspects of your life and expect to achieve long-term success. The primary purpose of this course is to help you reach success in your work or career and in the financial area of your life. Outstanding results simply do not happen by accident. However. failure to obtain success in the other four areas will ultimately undermine any success you have achieved. You will never achieve outstanding results in any area of your life unless you work at it. it will © Teach the Soul – 2007 14 . Your emotional and physical goals are personal and will only be dealt with here in the most general terms. There are specific steps that must be taken in each area of your life if you hope to succeed there. you must recognize that no matter how successful you may become in those two areas. family and friends Work/career goals Physical health Emotional health Financial goals Spiritual balance There is a common thread between all these items. The same principles that allow you to achieve financial success work equally well when applied to any other part of your life. However.
your spiritual nature will be out of balance. You should also understand that there is a significant difference between your religious beliefs and your spiritual self. The start of any program to achieve your desires in life should be to develop a healthy mental attitude and a physically fit body. These lessons do not attempt to alter or influence your religious beliefs in any way. Unless you identify and pursue your purpose in life. As used here. you will never achieve true success. And the impact of the changes will take even longer to realize. There is no point of embarking on a self-improvement course if you are not willing to stay the course until you reach your goals. We cannot change overnight.not be possible for you to achieve your financial and work goals unless you have a positive mental attitude and maintain a healthy body. But you must understand that unless you are comfortable with yourself. You should understand that we all have a purpose in life. We cannot expect to change our lives overnight. When we want something. but we as a society have developed an “instant” or “fast food” mentality with respect to most things. Often we will change our mind about whether we really want something if we can’t have it immediately. Spiritual balance refers to harmony with your inner self. we want it now. you must be comfortable with who you are and what you stand for. Expecting immediate results is folly. We become very impatient if we have to wait. © Teach the Soul – 2007 15 . You should get comfortable with how you fit into the greater scheme of life. We fail to realize that we are the way we are because of an entire lifetime of things we have done. spirituality has absolutely nothing to do with any religious belief. It’s unfortunate.
There is no point in achieving a great personal fortune if you are not doing what you most desire. Yet she was penniless. In addition. we set new. we will not try to influence or even discuss those areas – the same concepts apply. We learn to seek constant improvement. higher goals. we become more successful. And as we reach certain goals or milestones. let’s get started. With each step we take towards our goals. Success is about achieving your potential in doing whatever you truly desire to do. This course is designed to help you identify your goals in life and then take the necessary steps to achieve those goals. Now that we have covered the overview. There are no bells ringing to signify that we have arrived. © Teach the Soul – 2007 16 . the definition of success has nothing to do with money or other material things. We continue striving. With each step in the right direction. we experience success.Success is not a destination. It is up to you once you have learned the concepts to apply those concepts to the relationship and spiritual areas of your life. We begin to experience success when we commit to changing our lives. Her goal in life was to help the less fortunate and she was a huge success in that respect. For some people. While we recommend that you do the same with the relationship and spiritual areas of your life. Success is a journey. The steps for identifying and achieving goals are basically the same for all areas of your life. I think everyone would agree that Mother Theresa was a success. We strive for continued growth and learning. we will go into great detail in dealing with the work and financial areas of your life. We will identify those steps. Success actually has no relation to the amount of money you earn.
lead to the circumstances in our lives. “You are today where your thoughts have brought you. Our lives are ruled by our habits. But the belief that you do not control your circumstances allows you to shift the responsibility to others. or that your wife/husband left you. But the habit started with our core beliefs. As long as you give up the responsibility for your life to outside events. And for a lot of people. Your beliefs allow you to take certain actions. As long as your life is not your responsibility. After all. That you are a victim of circumstances. you can feel justified in being a victim of circumstances. author of As a Man Thinketh. wrote. If you continue taking that action. you probably do not need to look very far to find someone or something to blame. That is was not your fault that you lost your job. James Allen.Your core beliefs and how they control your actions How do beliefs control your actions? It is very easy to tell yourself that you had little control over your present circumstances. you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. that makes them feel better. it is not their fault. your beliefs tell you it is okay to take that action.” © Teach the Soul – 2007 17 . But those people will never achieve success in life. Continuing to take the actions we take. you will continue to be tossed about like a ship without a rudder. soon the action becomes a habit. The very first time you consider doing something. If you are looking for excuses.
Ask yourself. the weather or any other of the numerous things that can affect our lives. Our busy minds are forever jumping to conclusions. You have no control over what someone else does. if you continue to do the things you have always done. “As you think.” Said differently. If you want to change your circumstances. you must change your thoughts. So the first step is to take responsibility for As you think.Allen further writes. You have no control over the financial markets. That is. you will get the results you have always gotten.” You must take responsibility for your thoughts. but are unwilling to improve themselves. you must change the way you think. so you become. so you become. do not let your mind jump to conclusions or manufacture signs that are not there. You also need to take control of your mind. “Men are anxious to improve their circumstances. manufacturing and interpreting signs that aren’t there. Unless and until you change the way you think. Sheer willpower will not change the basic path of your life. we can control how we react to things that happen in our lives. Epictetus Epictetus wrote. what is to be gained by blaming someone or something else? You may be quick to point out that at times people do © Teach the Soul – 2007 18 . any changes in your life will be temporary. And that is your thoughts. How do you change your beliefs? The first and most important step is to accept that you have total control over but one thing in life. If you truly want to change your life. We often blame others for things that happen. therefore they are bound. your own thoughts. We cannot control what happens in our lives. Changing our thoughts requires that we give up blame.
If something is not moving you toward your goals in life. Does it accomplish anything to blame someone else? If it does not accomplish anything. You must give up anger and Nelson Mandella resentment. allow yourself to forgive the person you are angry. Stress is at the base of the majority of today’s health issues. why spend the time and energy doing it. Instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by anger and resentment. In fact. The question you need to focus on is what good comes from anger. Playing the blame game is a losing proposition. But it will not move you closer to your goals in life. If someone has said something bad about you or done you some wrong. We cannot control what someone else does. We can only control our reaction to it. You cannot change what has happened. And anger increases the stress level. And you do not wish to engage Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. Accept that things happen in life. so why spend time agonizing over it? Trying to control events that are out of your control only leads to frustration. You cannot afford to take actions that move you away from your goals.things that affect us negatively. Accept that you have no control over lots of things that happen in life. then it must be moving you away. You must accept what happens. © Teach the Soul – 2007 19 . But you do control your thoughts. But stop and ask yourself what good comes from the anger? It is not a question of did someone do you wrong. it is very easy to get angry with them. anger can be a hazard to your health. You can invest a lot of time and emotional energy in being angry.
Trying to get even often just escalates the problem. If we have an internal locus of control. Locus of Control Psychologists teach us that we can have an internal or an external locus of control. Just put aside your immediate reaction and think about how much better off you are by controlling your thoughts and your actions. You will need to take the emotion out of the picture. Observe how you feel about what happened. we think that we are in control of our circumstances. our natural reaction is to strike back. If we have an external locus of control. Responding means to consider the best course of action you should take. © Teach the Soul – 2007 20 . Learn to respond instead of reacting. try to delay any reaction to the event. Learn to question your feelings. If you are having trouble learning to respond instead of reacting. When something happens. This will not happen overnight. we think that events outside our control or internal factors over which we have no control are responsible for our circumstances in life. you will start to respond to events rather than react to them. You will need to constantly remind yourself to respond to things rather than react. By observing your thoughts.in thoughts that drain your energy and take you away from your goals in life. Accept things that have happened. Our natural tendency is to react. But that does no good. try to have a time out or a cool down period. To get even. Ask yourself what is the best way to respond to the event. becoming aware that you can control your thoughts and actions. and try to learn from them. If we feel like we have been injured.
Let me share a little story that will illustrate the concept of locus of control. The old man was delighted. The horse stopped short. Then a few days later. In a small village in India. the link between cause and effect is often very indirect. But over time. In our complex world. the son fell off and broke his leg. One day the pony wandered off and was presumed to be lost. So we tend to discount or overlook the connection. That they had no control of what happened to them. A few days later. the army came through the village and took all young men to fight in a far off war. the man is constantly being buffeted by outside circumstances. There is a timing difference. Because of the broken leg. they did not take the son. the pony turned up and along with it was a beautiful Arabian horse. All because of outside circumstances beyond his control. The son was out riding the beautiful horse. Happy one day. The man was so grateful. lived an elderly man. The man again was in a state of depression. His major treasures in life were his son and a small pony. eating such foods will have an effect on the body. In this story. A lot of people think that they are victims of circumstances. sad the next. Now this is a simple little story but it illustrates a very serious problem in the way a lot of people think. It is easy to trace the cause of clogged arteries back to our lifestyle. © Teach the Soul – 2007 21 . Alarm bells do not go off when you eat a hot fudge sundae loaded with whipped cream. The problem is the time involved. He had an external locus of control. He thought his happiness in life was controlled by factors beyond his control. The man was deeply depressed over the loss of the pony.
And the first step in changing the way we think. we will not take responsibility for our lives and therefore will not make the changes necessary in our lives to bring about the desired outcomes. © Teach the Soul – 2007 22 . However if we have always operated in some areas of our lives with an external locus of control.But the point is we do have control over our lives. It is a universal law – cause and effect. We will never take full control of our lives if we are blaming outside circumstances. we must change what we do. You must accept full responsibility for your life. There is simply no other way. if we think that things just happen to us. If we want to change the outcome – the circumstances of our lives.
We have been exposed to lots of information that is not necessarily good or true. Our parents and teachers can have a very strong influence on our belief system. we have a belief system that is a part of all we have been exposed to our entire life.Where do beliefs come from? I part of all have met. If you are going to achieve all you want to in life. associates. Not all of our beliefs are necessarily good. Because we are not in a position to make good judgments about what we should accept or reject. magazines and newspapers. Often they were simply passing on the values they had been taught. This will not be easy. radio. we often accept beliefs that are not healthy. Unfortunately after accepting beliefs. It will also take a lot of © Teach the Soul – 2007 23 . In short we filter information from a number of sources and accept that which fits our basic belief system. extended families and teachers were probably sharing their values and honestly thought their values were what we should accept. I“I am a part of all I Ihave met” Lord Alford Tennyson Our beliefs come from all we have met – from our parents. you will need to do some serious questioning of your beliefs and value systems. the information we read in books. We pick up lots of beliefs from the adult role models in our lives. television and movies. we rarely revisit them or question their validity. Those things we accept and those concepts we reject both serve to strengthen our belief system. Our parents. friends. So by the time we have reached adulthood.
You will become more tolerant of others and you will come to see the world is not black and white. But you were probably taught some things that are simply not true. political beliefs or any number of other things. Don’t try to make drastic changes in your basic belief system. you will naturally come to question some of the things you were taught as a child. Do not think this is something you can do in a week or two. © Teach the Soul – 2007 24 . That what you believe today might not be what you believe next year. One thing you must do is learn to accept people who are in some basic ways different from you. At times this might be a little uncomfortable. Also. Your core values. men grow humbler and wiser. As you learn and grow. But you must be open to changing beliefs that are not true. honesty. After crosses and losses. It may be race. things change. religion.time and energy. As you grow up and begin to experience the normal bumps and bruises of life. Things are never quite that cut and dried. you should resist the temptation to impose your beliefs on others. Benjamin Franklin You need to realize that your belief system is subject to change. a sense of justice should not change. So develop tolerance for others. you can expect your belief system to change. As you learn and grow.
I am © Teach the Soul – 2007 25 . We even get in the habit of buying the same styles and colors. we have done before. If you think about it. However you need to understand that when you do things out of habit. you are giving up control of your life. It is estimated that 95% of the things we do. we shop at the same stores and often eat at the same restaurants. They keep us doing what we have always done. Eventually we come to accept that the action is totally okay and no longer consult our belief system. we do out of habit. Most of the things we do. Habits are extremely limiting. Habit start off innocently enough. In some instances this is okay. a shackle for the free. you need to understand the power of habits.Why are habits so powerful? Habit. We don’t have to think about the everyday routine things we do in life. I then qualify that by saying. The Devil’s Dictionary Ambrose Bierce I have often said that habits are the most powerful force in the world. We react out of habit. at least to you habits are the most powerful force in the world. it becomes more an integral part of who we are. In short we are creatures of habit. we consult our belief system to make sure the action is in accordance with our core values. You no longer question if the activity is good for you. But each time we repeat the action. If you expect to achieve your goals in life. When we first take an action. n. This can be a very damaging activity. You can get into a routine (some might call it a rut) and never learn or grow. We take the same route to work.
If you are going to be a slave to habits. you will increase your earning power by at least $1. First if you read just 30 minutes per day and you are an average reader. you can choose if you want to be the slave of habits or have them work for you. I recommend 30 minutes a day. Daily exercise would be another. you will be able to complete your reading and exercise without interruption. Most things you do in life will become habits. make sure you have good habits that will help you work toward your goal. For example you could read while exercising on a stationary bike. But most © Teach the Soul – 2007 26 . you will probably read about 20 books per year. you will find the majority of times something comes up to interfere with your planned activity. Think how much further ahead you will be than the average person. You will do them without conscious thinking.000 dollars. Make sure you develop good habits. What are some good habits to develop? Daily reading would be an excellent habit to develop. However. So what is the answer? It is quite simple. If you really want to save time you could combine the two. There is nothing wrong with an occasional good mystery or other work of fiction. Now I believe that you should read material that moves you toward your goals in life.sure you will come to the same conclusion that I have namely that habits are the most powerful force in the world. Further. It has been estimated that the average American reads less than one non-fiction book per year. It has also been estimated that for each non-fiction book you read. This can add up to quite a sum over a 15 to 20 year period. If you promise yourself that you are going to exercise and/or read in the evening. you should do it first thing in the morning. It is easy to underestimate the power of reading. But if you wake up half an hour early.
you will become much more aware of how you are reacting to events. What were your successes? What happened that set you back? How did you deal with the setbacks? What should you do different in the future? If you learn to write these things down. This is a passive activity. Yet most people spend a few hours per day with their eyes glued to the TV.of your reading should be books that will help you learn and grow. selfimprovement CDs when riding in the car. You will simply be amazed at how much you can absorb by listening at least a half hour per day. Unless you are watching good educational programs. How much of that TV time could be turned into productive learning time? We will go into this deeper in the section on goal setting. © Teach the Soul – 2007 27 . The purpose here is not to list the events so much as to capture your feelings about the day. Another good habit would be to listen to self-help. Each evening you should recap the events of the day in your journal. the sitcoms and reality shows will do very little to help you reach your goals. Make it a habit to take small daily steps to achieving your goals. but one thing you should get in the habit of doing is taking action each day toward your goals. The first is to start a journal. each and every day. you will more than likely fail. This should dramatically improve your ability to respond rather than react. There are a couple of other habits you should consider adopting. It is also very helpful to give up television. If you try to take huge steps in a short period of time. you will stand a much better chance of achieving your goals. Most people watch way too much television. If you take constant action. Almost everyone complains of a shortage of time.
they become easier to deal with. Ask yourself why. This can be anger. But we very rarely praise ourselves for the good that we do. As you bring these energy drainers into your conscious awareness. It could be as simple as acknowledging yourself for some actions you have taken. What am I grateful for today? List at list five or six things in your life that you are grateful for. it would also be helpful if you became aware of the things that drain your energy. © Teach the Soul – 2007 28 . resentment and things like that. What things have I done in the last few days that I praise myself for? Most of us are very good at kicking ourselves for things we have done. A good habit to develop is to write down the positive things you have done. you are in a much better position to take corrective actions. For you to be successful in life. Develop the habit of being aware of the things you can and should be grateful for. Again. You will become aware of how much good you are doing in life. you will gradually raise your self-esteem. as you bring these behaviors into your conscious awareness. In order to help you overcome that. You need to be grateful. Notice the things you know you should do but do not.Most people I know are plagued with self-doubt and low selfesteem. I would also suggest you become aware of the things you fail to do because of some form of fear. But if you develop the habit of praising yourself for the good things you are doing each day. it would be helpful for you to acquire a spiral bound notebook and answer the following questions each and every day. frustration. you need to adopt an attitude of gratitude. While you are becoming aware of the things you should be grateful for and the things you should praise yourself for.
you will want to develop some strong emotional attachment to the new behavior you are trying to adopt. Find something more powerful than the habit you want to replace. Ovid While it is true that nothing is stronger than habit. © Teach the Soul – 2007 29 . you must start with changing your thoughts. You are going to have habits. develop the habit of reading or meditating. If you don’t you will let your bad habits rule your life. there is nothing that says that all habits are bad. A more productive approach is to design a behavior that will replace the habit. The foundation for designing your life is built on your acceptance that you have total control of your thoughts and your thoughts lead to your circumstances. You also need to examine which habits are keeping you in a rut and what you can do to get out. You will be a slave to your habits. If you are finding it difficult to break a habit. Nothing is stronger than habit. Make sure that you have a good master. For example if you are hooked on watching TV. That your habits are leading you toward your goals. Give yourself an emotional reason to adopt a new habit. it is extremely difficult to break a habit.You need to become aware of the power that habits have in your life. It could be the selfsatisfaction you will get when you have fully implemented the new habit. If you wish to change your circumstances. As everyone knows.
The “divinity that shapes our ends” is ourselves. but what he justly earns. you must come to the conclusion that your thoughts eventually lead to your circumstances. Man is manacled only by himself: thought and action are the jailers of Fate – they imprison. fancies. It is not the events that cause us problems. they are also angles of Freedom – they liberate.In his book As a Man Thinketh. but that which they are. you must start by changing your thoughts. Learn to respond to things. Habits rule your life. You must learn that you have absolutely no control over things that can happen to you. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with this thoughts and actions. If you hope to achieve what you truly want in life. These feelings do nothing positive for you. anger and resentment. It is necessary to give up blame. It is our reaction to events. Examine your habits. being base. If it is of no value. but their inmost thoughts and desires are fed with their own food. and ambitions are thwarted at every step. be it foul or clean. These emotions will only drag you down. it is our very self. Left alone. the bad habits can dictate © Teach the Soul – 2007 30 . You have total control over how you react to things. then why engage in blame? Do not allow your energy to be consumed by anger and resentment. In order to change your circumstances. James Allen gives us this passage: Men do not attract what which they want. Bad habits develop on their own. Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get. Their whims. Accept those things you have no control over. being noble.
You will be a slave to habits. you must put the knowledge to work for you. You have a much better chance of internalizing the information. Taking immediate action on a lesson reinforces the lesson. There is a further benefit from taking action. It is okay to have habits so long as they are leading you towards your goals.how we lead our lives. Develop good habits that replace bad habits. Applied knowledge is power. Doing the exercises. For any of the lessons to truly benefit you. You must take action. © Teach the Soul – 2007 31 . But list those circumstances that you are not happy with. That is not quite correct. It is so important to combine the lessons with action. Develop good habits. There is nothing that says all habits need to be bad for you. taking action on what you are learning. You forget a substantial amount of what you read the day after you have read it. It has been said that knowledge is power. Exercises: A basic principal of achieving your goals is focused action. But if you take some action on what you read. It does very little good to simply read the exercises. You need to actually do them. health. When you internalize the information. 1. putting the lessons into practice will greatly accelerate your progress. It is almost impossible to get rid of a bad habit through sheer willpower. you make it a part of you. relationships. you retain much more of the information. career or financial. What circumstances in your life do you wish to change? It could be income.
4. Now list the beliefs that may have contributed to the circumstances being what they are. Examine your list of things that are important. Are those things enduring? That is will they be important in 5 to 10 years? Are any of the items on your list material possessions? 5. See if you can identify some beliefs that have not served you well in the past. What do you believe that you are capable of doing? What do you believe that you can become? What do you think is the biggest obstacle in your path to achieving what you truly want from life? © Teach the Soul – 2007 32 . 6.2. Do you have a good idea who you are? What your core beliefs are? List the things in life that are important to you. friends and relatives about how you will do in life? 7. but try it. 3. It may be difficult to connect all the beliefs directly to a circumstance. What self-limiting beliefs do you have? What have you been told by your parents. What habits do you have that are controlling your life? How long have you had them? Write down how your life would be different without those habits.
How important is it that you become successful in life? Why do you want to be successful? © Teach the Soul – 2007 33 .8.
Any time we have a fixed mindset about anything we limit the possibilities. But listen to someone who is out of work. We may have a fixed mindset about the type of house. It is extremely important that you have a growth mindset.Mindset What do we mean by mindset? Our mindset is “an established set of attitudes held by someone” according to the Oxford American dictionary. You must be open to the opportunities that exist. neighborhood or area of the country we might choose to live in. Most people will have a fixed mindset about some things and a growth or open mindset about other things. © Teach the Soul – 2007 34 . One is fixed and the opposite is a growth mindset. In her book. We would have a fixed mindset about income if we accepted the idea that the only legitimate way to earn a living would be to get a job. We may have a fixed mindset about the friends we wish to associate with. On the other hand. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. By limiting ourselves to only one way – getting a job – we dramatically limit our possibilities. we would have a growth mindset about income if we realized there were a multitude of different methods to earn a living. There are opportunities all around us. What do they say? That there are no good jobs available. There are so many different ways that we can have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. Companies are just not hiring. We have a fixed attitude about how things should be. Carol Dweck advances the theory that there are two types of mindset. A fixed mindset means exactly what you might think.
not talent. And unless their ideal soul mates just happen by. One of the big ways that our mindset determines our future is how we think about talent versus work. as employers we often shortchange our companies by taking such a short sighted view of things. What do they say? That all the good men (women) are already taken. In our society. We tend to think that there is a scarcity of © Teach the Soul – 2007 35 . you view the world as having limited resources. We must be flexible in our approach. How we view the world and its resources will have a huge impact on our ability to accomplish our goals. However. Prosperity – Scarcity Mindset We need to examine our mindset with respect to prosperity or scarcity. Thinking that there is only one way to achieve a goal and they have the answer. A person with a fixed mindset is often arrogant. Attractive women get ahead faster and go farther than their homely sisters. they are likely to look all their lives in vain. We should praise hard work. Unless a job comes and lands in their lap. We either have a prosperity mindset or a scarcity mindset. they are unlikely to find one. we praise talent.Listen to a person looking for a soul mate. We need to look beyond the surface and see the deeper qualities a person possesses. If you have a scarcity mindset. Our society has a fixed mindset about these attributes. There are generally numerous ways to arrive at a particular goal. They refuse to look at all the possibilities that exist. There is nothing left but the undesirable. In both cases the person has a fixed mindset. tall men earn more than their shorter brothers. As a society.
We realize that the more we give. We do not want to share. The competitive – collaborative mindset We live in a very competitive society. A prosperity mindset does not waste precious resources. This becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. Can you see the dangers of having a scarcity mindset? On the other side of the spectrum is a prosperity mindset.jobs. This is not a prosperity mindset. This goes hand in hand with the scarcity mentality. The average American today waste too many resources. All we need to do is to open our mind to the possibilities. Therefore if we think that there is a scarcity of resources. As you know by now. income opportunities and relationship opportunities. We no longer horde our precious resources. We buy things that we do not really need and fail to use the things we have. © Teach the Soul – 2007 36 . having a prosperity mindset tends to attract prosperity to us. We are no longer stingy. We manifest that which be believe. This is the hording that comes with the scarcity mindset. We want to do it all by ourselves and get all the spoils of victory. the more we get. we tend to horde resources. Here we tend to see the world as having an abundance of resources. Please do not confuse a prosperity mindset with being wasteful. what we think about. We even become stingy with our love. Since we tend to manifest what be believe. There are plenty of jobs. we bring about. We understand that there are ample resources to fill all our needs. As a result we have developed a “go it alone” mindset. income opportunities and relationship opportunities. We feel like we must compete with others for jobs. money and other resources. relationships and scarce resources. A scarcity mindset creates scarcity. We become stingy with our time.
Edison did not invent the light bulb working alone. © Teach the Soul – 2007 37 . Competition becomes inbred. You will never accomplish anything truly great working solely by yourself. You are where you are based on a lifetime of thought and actions. Fast food mindset Unfortunately. Yet they can construct elaborate anthills and beehives. No matter what your goal. While there are some things we do not like to wait for. instant emails and our fast foods. we have developed a fast food mindset. You cannot expect to reprogram your mind instantly. You cannot expect to undo this overnight. We have developed the mindset if we have to wait. for sports teams and for academic or school positions of leadership. we don’t want it. you will need help to achieve it. These are very primitive animal life forms. you will need to change your mindset when it comes to achieving your goals in life. We have come to expect things to happen immediately. And the more help you have. But you need to stop and ask yourself if this is the best way? Is competition the way nature intended us to live? Could we actually stand a better chance of achieving our goals is we learned to collaborate with others? We could learn a lot from ants and bees. That is rather unfortunate. It will take some time. the faster you will achieve your goals. as a nation. And they do it by working together.We are taught from grade school on to compete for grades. Bill Gates did not build Microsoft alone. We have our instant messaging.
If your goals are stretching you. To rush the process can often result in a premature death. Therefore it is vitally important that we develop © Teach the Soul – 2007 38 . You just need to be realistic about how long it might take. you will need to learn new skills. Our mindset literally shapes our lives. How does our mindset affect our lives? As you can see from the above examples. What we think about. The same is true of your goals. our mindset has a significant bearing on our ability to achieve our goals. The tree needs to grow to a certain size before it produces fruit. During this time. develop new relationships and make new connections. even after you planted the tree you need to continue working on the tree and you have to wait until the tree has reached the proper size to produce fruit. In short. You need to nurture your goals and do the work for you to learn and grow. you will not make a fortune overnight to satisfy all your financial needs. You will also need to prune the tree and protect it from insects and plant disease. It takes time. If you have spend a few years building up credit card debt. you will meet with failure more often than not. You can set your goals but you will need to do the work necessary to for the goals to bear fruit.You will need to develop some realistic time frames for achieving your goals. we bring about. If you try to force things to happen as you want them. You can achieve your goals and dreams. how long would you wait for it to produce the fruit? Probably a few years. You will also need to understand that you cannot force things to happen on your schedule. unless you are very lucky. you will need to water and fertilize the tree. If you planted a fruit tree.
“You’ll never be able to be a _________ (doctor. Don’t make waves. We often have a fixed mindset about our abilities. or whatever you were told)” or worse yet. If they did exactly as everyone else did. We are now burdened with self-limiting beliefs about our abilities. We have often accepted all we have been told about our limitations.a growth mindset. you must be open to doing things that are outside the box. While I am not suggesting that you be a rebel or do anything disruptive. our parents and teachers had what they thought were our best interest in mind. But for the most part they told us to fit in. We must be open to new possibilities. We need to be receptive to new concepts. to new ways of doing things. “Don’t try that. As children. “You need to learn your place. Again.” Most of us were constantly feed negative messages as children. Therefore we have been conditioned to conform. Don’t color outside the box or play outside the box. Successful people do not do the same things that everyone else does. © Teach the Soul – 2007 39 . how many times were you told.” Or. they became programmed into our brains. they would get the same results. professional. we were often feed lots of information about the types of relationships we should develop. While they were probably given with the best of intentions. The successful people are doing something different. As a child. In other words we were taught to conform. We need to open our minds to the possibilities of what can be. only one path to achieve our goals. If we think there is only one way to solve a problem. we limit ourselves and may in fact close ourselves off to the path we really should take.
We are constantly exploring for new and better ways to do things. It is being open to learning new ways to do things. It is not having a fixed idea about how things should be done. we do not spend time on trying to defend our preconceived notion of how the world should work. How can we develop a growth mindset? By simply being aware of your attitudes that control your behavior.What is a growth mindset? It is simply being open to all possibilities. Learn to be open to seeing things from a different point of view. ask yourself if there might be a better way. With a growth mindset. You will achieve your goals much faster that way. As you become aware of why you are doing things. It is very important that you question your long held beliefs about things. Observe your feelings about what you are doing. With a growth mindset. Learn to question or observe why you are doing certain things. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that exist. We are seeking alternate ways to view the world. A growth mindset requires that we are constantly learning and growing. One thing about learning. Stop doing thing automatically. we do not spend time on trying to defend our preconceived notion of how the world should work. Stop reacting like a robot. Start to look at the reasons why you are taking the actions you are taking. the more we learn the more we realize how little we know. © Teach the Soul – 2007 40 .
Are you totally open to suggestions? Do you seek counsel from others? 7. do you get fixed on the first answer you come up with? Do you think you are generally right and know more than most people? 3. Are you willing to listen to other ideas? Do you take input? 4. The next time you are in a discussion. When you hear a question. check to see how you listen? Do you listen attentively? Or is your mind wandering. How do you react when you are criticized? Do you become defensive? Are you quick to explain why you think you were right? 6. off on some other subject. 2. Do you feel that you must always have the answer to each and every question you are asked? 5.Exercises: 1. thinking of what you will say or worse yet. what is your first reaction? Do you dismiss it without really considering the merits of the idea? © Teach the Soul – 2007 41 . When someone makes a suggestion.
11. But in life.8. this represents a self-centered way of thinking. Examine your beliefs about how fast you should expect to achieve your other goals. Do you judge the actions of others before you understand their motives and intensions? These need to be answered very honestly. Do you want to make sure that you get none of the blame for something you were not really responsible for? While you might think it only makes sense to get credit for what you do and not to get blamed for what you really had no part if doing. As previously discussed. Do you want to make sure you get the proper credit for your contribution to a task? 10. we need to learn to collaborate more with others. blame should not be part of your way of thinking or acting. Do you think in terms of competition or collaboration? Competition is okay in sports. Your concern should be on getting results – not who gets credit. 12. Having an unrealistic attitude about how fast you should achieve goals will set you up for failure. Part of an open mindset is to get away from the self-centered way of thinking. If you get blamed for something – whether it was your fault or not – simply learn from the experience and do not try to defend yourself. © Teach the Soul – 2007 42 . Do you have unrealistic expectations about how fast things should be accomplished? Examine your beliefs about how fast your income should increase. 9.
if you approach life with a positive outlook. you will be able to design the life you wish. then you are going to have a difficult time designing the life you want. How do you view resources such as time. money and connections? Do you think there is a limited or unlimited supply of each? 14. If you have a negative attitude. think the world owes you something. On the other hand. Are you looking for more/better relationships in your life? How do you think about the availability of these relationships? Do you think they are difficult to establish? That there all the good partners for life or business is already taken? The way you view the world. your attitude toward the world will have a significant bearing on how the world treats you. © Teach the Soul – 2007 43 . realizing that there are sufficient resources available to you.13.
For some people. let us set some parameters. But when our lives are an empty canvas.Getting Clear “Would you please tell me which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to. relationships. we seem to do okay. But whatever the reason. When we are working within a structured environment. For others it might be ten million. where we can paint any picture we want. You cannot have a goal of being wealthy. We will go much deeper into this in the goal setting process. You must be specific. Getting clear means getting very specific. getting clear has been the most difficult task I have encountered. but they don’t seem to have a good idea of what they want to fill that void. But before we go into those. It could be that we have so many choices that we are afraid to make a commitment down one particular path. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.” said the Cat. Everyone seems to know that something is missing in life. “I don’t much care where…” said Alice. You are never going to achieve vague goals. Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland In all my time working with people. we go blank. Wealthy means different things to different people. However for now realize that when we talk about wealth. There are a couple of techniques you can use to help you get clear. wealth is a million dollars.” said the Cat. jobs or even starting your own © Teach the Soul – 2007 44 . most people have a very difficult time getting clear about what they want in life.
business. what would you do. you must be specific. The Inaction is the death of any goals program. You need to get rid of excuses. Most people. For example. what would I spend my time doing?” Another way of getting the same results is to ask yourself. you will not be able to take focused actions. Why is it important to be clear? Unless and until you become clear. Techniques for getting clear One technique for getting clear is to assume that you have all the money you need. If you hope to have any chance of achieving your goals. “If you did not need money to live on. “Since money is no object. You will not have a good sense of direction about where you want to go or how to get there. © Teach the Soul – 2007 45 . “Since money is not object and I know I cannot fail. Inaction is the death of any goals program. what would I spend my time doing?” You can expand this by saying. even if you were not going to get paid for it?” The point of all the above questions is to get rid of all the normal excuses we give about why we can’t do something. the clearer you are. the education or any other excuse. when uncertain about where they want to go or how they want to get there simply do nothing. but they don’t have the financing. lots of people will tell you they want their own business. The more specific you are. Then ask yourself. Uncertainty breeds inaction. Only by being very clear can your subconscious mind fix on what you want and begin to work on finding ways to obtain your goal. you need to get clear about what you want.
Now ask yourself the following questions? What am I doing for a living? Where am I living? Describe your house. © Teach the Soul – 2007 46 . you can work back to the present. you fast forward for five years. How many rooms? What style? How big is the yard? Who are my friends? Describe your soul mate.above questions are designed to do just that. you can find the ways to accomplish it. You are designing a life. You are not going to design a life. See designing is a process. Doing this exercise. There is a second technique knows as the fast forward. How much do you travel? Where do you go? What do you do for recreation? The point of these questions is for you to get very clear on the type of life you want to have in five years or at some point in the future. How much vacation do you take a year? Describe your typical day. One thing you need to realize. Picture yourself five years down the road. If you get clear about what you want. Once you know your destination. Once you are clear. you can start to chart a direct course for getting there. Get rid of your excuses.
we become more committed to them. designing your life is a process. So once you are clear about what you want.On the other hand. It should be a constant process of growth and discovery. you must have a fixed target. write it down. do not make the mistake of thinking you can get clear on all parts of your life at one time. It is much too easy to change or make adjustments to an idea in our head. You cannot be pursuing one goal today and a slightly different one tomorrow. once you design a life. You need to be specific. it is fixed. As you begin to work on relationships. If you are truly going to achieve success. Life should never be fixed. you will find it difficult to restrict your growth to just one area. make it a habit to write things in your journal. For example. As you start to get clear about what you truly want. When we write things down. That is fine. Some parts are dependent on other pieces of your life being in place. So when trying to get clear. Setting Goals © Teach the Soul – 2007 47 . The best approach is to start on one item at a time. You will want to grow in all areas of your life. but are looking to improve your relationships. if you are content with our current job. As pointed out above. You need to take one step at a time. There is something about writing things down that forces clarity of thought and makes the commitment stronger. When you start to learn and grow. then start getting clear about what is missing from your relationships. you may feel the need to make improvements in other areas of your life. Then you will become overwhelmed and everything will fall apart. But do not try to do too much at one time. Your subconscious mind cannot focus on a fuzzy goal.
and identifying the steps necessary to get there. Like any journey. But you are different! You have made a conscious decision to begin a journey – a journey of success. the second and subsequent steps should be much easier. This journey will help you decide where you want to go and how to get there. and more than likely some detours. You will keep focused on your destination. writing it down. you will never get there unless you take the first step. But you will not lose sight of your goals. So many people are uncertain about which way to step. no matter where you are going. By deciding on a definite purpose in life. When roadblocks appear. it is imperative that you keep moving toward © Teach the Soul – 2007 48 . so they never go anywhere. They are afraid to take a step in the wrong direction. you will simply alter your course to get around the obstacles without changing your intended destination. And since you have already taken the first step. The Way of Lao-tzu Lao-tzu The above quotation is so obvious. there will be some bumps in the road. you will have separated yourself from the majority of people in the world. a journey of designing your life.A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Getting started is key. But once you have begun. and as a result they either stand still or walk in place.
So just store away the information that you question or doubt. you will gain very little. You simply need to learn the lessons that others have learned. If it were as easy as © Teach the Soul – 2007 49 . fear and old habits to try to pull you back into your comfort zone. it is not easy. I will admit that there is a catch: while the process is simple. If you will simply follow the plan. There are no secrets. It has been said that a person only learns when they are ready to learn. Your rewards will just keep getting bigger and bigger. And the only limits are the ones you place on yourself. It is as simple at that. the rewards will be greater than anything you have ever imagined. While the results are automatic. There is no mystery to success. Don’t let inertia slow you down or. You will need to get rid of some old habits and old ways of thinking. Just keep an open mind. your results will be totally dependent on the effort you put into this program. If you approach this subject with an attitude of doubt and resistance. even worse. reverse your movement. That is. The wonderful news is that each success builds other successes and the rewards are compounded. Almost certainly. there will be some things that you will read and hear that you will not accept. Develop the same habits that other successful people have developed and you must be successful. You must begin this journey with an open mind. In case this sounds too simple. It is easy for doubt. willing to learn anything that will improve your life. There will come a time when the wisdom will become apparent. You simply cannot fail if you follow the same path as other successful people.your goals. It is like the proverbial snowball rolling downhill. Don’t let them. they are totally dependent on your effort.
Likewise. the greater your rewards. The more effort and energy you put into learning the principles and then acting on what you learn. unless you put into action what you learn. Let’s begin our journey of success! Let’s design your life! © Teach the Soul – 2007 50 . everyone would be rich and successful.reading this program. No matter how much you learn. the knowledge is useless. if you do not put the energy into learning and applying what you learn. This is one time that your rewards are totally up to you. you will have wasted your time reading these pages.
if we think the worst is going to happen. Everything you do depends on your mental attitude. They cause you to see obstacles and problems at each and every turn. As Cervantes said. and much more in the skies. Our attitude affects everything we do. If we have a negative attitude about our job. said “The greatest discovery of my generation is man can alter their lives by altering their mental attitudes. Nothing is more important in achieving success than your mental attitude. that sort of thinking becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. They cause you to wait for the right time. You will only be able to do those things that you firmly believe you can do. Earl Nightingale called “Attitude” the magic word. If we have a negative attitude towards learning. the father of American psychology. if we have a negative attitude. William James. you are probably right. We tend to live up to our expectations. Therefore. that is what we get back.” You will never be successful at something you don’t think you can do. to not © Teach the Soul – 2007 51 . it will be reflected in our work output. Improve your attitude and you improve your life. we really do not have much chance to learn.A Positive Mental Attitude Success starts with a positive mental attitude.” The truth is we become what we think about. Doubt and fear rob you of a positive mental attitude. And the world directs our attitude back to us. If we are sending out a negative attitude. If we expect to fail. “If you think you can or you think you can’t do something. “Fear is sharp sighted and can see things underground. As Henry Ford said. Our attitude is a reflection of our self.” Fear causes you to lose self-confidence.
James Allen. said. If you link thought with purpose. Your goals must be your own.make a sale. to have a bad day – whatever we expect is exactly what we will get in the long run. there is nothing which may not be accomplished. And you must really believe they are achievable. and set out to accomplish it. there is no intelligent accomplishment. …A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart. … Only in this way can the thoughts be gathered and focused. in his wonderful little book As a Man Thinketh.” You would do well to read the above quote and memorize it. and resolution and energy be developed. they must be yours. And you should set both short-term and long-term goals. If you are going to have the drive and determination to achieve your goals. You should set separate goals for each area of your life. A worksheet has been provided for writing down your goals in each area of your life. It does not matter what anyone else thinks you should do or would be good at doing. which being done. “Until thought is linked with purpose. © Teach the Soul – 2007 52 . Your Goals Now it is time to actually identify your goals. gather your thoughts and take focused action you can accomplish anything. So do not list “wants” that you really don’t believe you are capable of accomplishing. 1. A couple of suggestions are in order.
It is this list that we want to utilize. 6. They may not feel the same way about you that you do about them. Don’t list things that would be nice to have. write it down. For example. Wave the magic wand and decide what you would really want if money (or a certain skill) were no object. that is fine. 4. Your goals should not involve any other person. It is perfectly fine to have a goal to be in a romantic relationship. Only list those things that you are willing to work for. no matter how much effort it takes to achieve them. Do not worry yet about how you will accomplish your goals. If you really want something.” Do not let the means to acquire the goal interfere with your listing it as a goal. or both). You must have an extremely strong desire to achieve the goal. People will say “I want my own business but I don’t have the money (or the skill. You should list your goals and then. One method of determining your true goals has been described as the “magic wand” method. Just make sure it is your goal and you have a burning desire to accomplish it. let’s assume you want your own business. 5. make a new list the next day. But wishing for a specific relationship for yourself is © Teach the Soul – 2007 53 . If you wave the magic wand and are honest you will reveal your true desire. But not with a particular person. What will emerge over a period of several days is your list of the goals that are most important to you. Often people will not list their true goals because they talk themselves out of it. Do this for a few days. without referring to your old list of goals. In that case you are probably attracted to some idealized image you have of them rather than who they really are. You should not have a goal to be in a romantic relationship with a particular person.2. If you are attracted to one person and the relationship happens to work out. 3.
You will not be open to all the possibilities that may exist. everyone gets their just due. it is time to put the goals in some order. No matter what wrong someone has done to you. This is very important. a house or anything like that. never seek or even hope for revenge. It is the strong purpose that gives you the drive to achieve the goal. a relationship. That is negative and it will not serve you well. When you set your goals for a job. You want your most important goal to be at the top of your list. Take some time to think about your priorities. “what goes around comes around” is true. The stronger the purpose. Also remember the Bible verse. always set the goal for what you want or something better.” Don’t worry. that shall he also reap. © Teach the Soul – 2007 54 . The old saying. “Whatsoever a man soweth. You should have a real purpose associated with your most important goal. It will only drag you down. you are operating from a fixed mindset. Do not burden yourself trying to even the score. 8. Never set a goal that involves revenge.overlooking the idea that each person has the right to set their own goals. If you limit your goals to a particular job or relationship. Once you have worked with a list of goals over a few days and narrowed it down or eliminated goals that were merely wishes. in the long run. So take some time to write down why you want to achieve a particular goal – how accomplishing your goal will benefit you and change your life. Make it a point to always be open to your goal or something better. the stronger the desire to achieve. 7.
You are going to need to decide which goal is most important so you will know where to focus your energy. A word of caution: the attainment of a certain sum of money is not a goal. one at a time. Money is simply a medium of exchange. You might not be able to pick out the most important out of a list of 10. Let’s say you picked number 10 over number 9. These are both properly stated goals. Concentrate on doing a good job and the money will surely follow. Eventually you will have compared the all the items. Most people cannot look at a list of ten goals and figure out which is the most important. You must also realize that you can only acquire money or any other thing of value by providing service of equal value. So if you need or want a certain amount of money. The sad truth is. you must analyze further and determine why you want money. Then make the same decision between number 8 and number 7. Let’s say you have a list of ten goals. Look at number 10 and number 9 on your list. your goal should be to identify a valuable service you would enjoy providing.A lot of people have trouble deciding on the rank of their goals. Next look at number 8 and number 10. Perhaps what you really want is to achieve a certain level of savings or to pay off debts in order to feel financially secure. But if you © Teach the Soul – 2007 55 . If you believe you want money. But by narrowing the choice down to one of two items. if you concentrate on just obtaining money. you will not provide an exceptional level of service and will surely not achieve your desired income. Continue this until you have compared the winner of each stage with the next item in line. Then make a decision between those two items. It is the benefit gained by providing goods or services. you should be able to decide. Here is a simple method to determine the order of your goals. Which is most important? Let’s say this time you picked number 8.
concentrate on providing excellent service. One other note of caution. To attempt that course of action will more than likely result in complete failure. You should go through the same process to achieve goals in the other areas of your life. the money must follow. Do not think you can work on all of the habits at the same time. © Teach the Soul – 2007 56 . Pick out and work on one item at a time. you will probably identify a number of habits or changes you need or want to make in your life. Once you start thinking about setting goals and taking complete control of your life. Take the first step and then take it one step at a time. We will work with you on work/career goals and financial goals. Build your confidence as you go.
e. Clearly not what you intended. what you want not what you don’t want. Your goals must be personal. If your goal is to reach a certain weight. since that © Teach the Soul – 2007 57 .”. say you want to double your earnings in one year. You are the only person in the world who can use the word “I” when referring to yourself. Now it is obvious that some goals will not be accomplished today. If your goal is to achieve a certain level of income. If you state your goal as “I am a nonsmoker”. positive and stated in the present tense. it should begin with “I earn …”. state your goal as “I weigh …. i. And it cannot process a negative picture. the mind tends to ignore the “non” and your goal becomes “I am a smoker”. the subconscious mind does not have to work on it now. Just start each goal with “I”. Positive – The subconscious mind cannot process a negative. but you still express them in the present tense. If something is to take place in the future. If I ask you to not think about a pink rabbit. the subconscious mind has trouble with future events. Personal – It is easy to make sure your goals are personal. The mind tends to think in pictures. what picture comes to mind? Why a pink rabbit of course. Present tense – Just like negative images.Rules for Goal Setting For you to be successful in achieving your goals there are certain rules you must follow. Therefore each goal should be stated in the positive. So always state your goal as a positive. It can deal with the now. Your goal should not be to double your earnings. The following are the rules and an explanation of the rules. Therefore you need to set your goals in the present tense. For example..
usually the kitchen. Then the proper way to state your goal is to say. There is a law in psychology called the law of diminishing intent. let’s say you are earning $50. the old ones get pushed toward the back of our minds.000 per year by December 200X. Well in some respects your mind is like the junk drawer. the level of the intent diminishes. For purposes of illustration. as soon as you set a goal or have an idea. We store so many thoughts and ideas in our minds and with each new thought or new idea. it becomes impossible to find what you want. If you allow your goals to settle to the back of your mind. Ever so often we have to clean it out by throwing most of the things away. If enough time passes the intent fades completely. We lose track of what we have filed in the junk drawer. “I earn $100. positive and stated in the present tense. However. Note that the goal is personal. there is one more point to make about your goals. you will forget about them. Which brings up the need to constantly keep your goals in the forefront of your lives. you must begin to take action on that goal or idea. If you are like most people. After a few days or weeks. you have a “junk drawer” somewhere in your house.is not a specific amount. The basic premise of this law is the longer the time between your intent and your action. As more things get stuffed in the drawer. you tend to forget those ideas that were so promising only a few weeks prior. This is the drawer where you put the miscellaneous things that you don’t want to throw away but you don’t have a specific place for filing.000 per year. You know what you are earning now. © Teach the Soul – 2007 58 . Therefore. We will work on the specific steps to accomplish your goals in another section.
© Teach the Soul – 2007 59 .Otherwise your enthusiasm for that goal or idea fades into the background. You can also write them out daily. What are you going to do? Why is this goal important to you? How are you going to do it? When are you going to do it? We will work more on an action plan for achieving your goals. you need to very clear about what you want. A vague goal produces vague results. Just make sure your goals are very specific. A simple way to keep your goals a current part of your life is to write your goals on a 3 x 5 card and read them at least twice a day. S M A R T - Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Time Specific For a goal to be specific. you need to make sure that your goals are SMART goals. You may not currently have any idea about how you will achieve your goal. That is okay. Anything that will keep your mind focused on your goal will assist in the achievement of your goals. SMART Goals As you are listing your goals. The following is a definition of SMART goals.
Peter Drucker You will need to determine some milestones for your goals.000 next year is probably not attainable or realistic. Most properly set goals are reachable. but you must set a more realistic time frame.Measurable What gets measured gets managed. you are not striving for something totally out of reach. If your goal was to lose 15 pounds in six months. Realistic This is a close cousin to attainable. For example.000. Attainable Saying a goal should be attainable does not mean it should be easy. setting a goal to earn $1. Not that you can never achieve that goal. Realistic means given your present situation. Far too many people set unrealistic time frames for achieving their goals. You would break down your goal into pounds per month and then you would measure your progress. On the other hand. You must know if you are progressing adequately toward your goal. there is no point in setting a goal that is physically impossible to reach. You may also be seeking to accomplish © Teach the Soul – 2007 60 . Only by measuring your progress will you be in a position to make adjustment to your actions to ensure you achieve your goals by the target date. if you have been earning $50.000 per year. you would not wait for five months to check your progress.
the goal within an unrealistic time frame. Your goal might be obtainable. there is no commitment. © Teach the Soul – 2007 61 . The time must be measurable. but you might need to have a more realistic time frame. Without a deadline. A deadline spurs you to action. You must set a realistic deadline and take the necessary action to achieve your goal. attainable and realistic. Time All goals must have a target time frame for achieving the goal.
Write them out on the attached worksheets and then put them in order of importance. Relationship Goals Short-term goals: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 62 . We will work on developing a step by step method of achieving them.To-do exercise Take some time to decide on your goals.
Work / Career Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ________ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 63 .
Physical Health Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 64 .
Emotional Health Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 65 .
Financial Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 66 .
Spiritual Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 67 .
Living in the present moment If I were to ask you how much time you spend in the past or spend in the future. And the only way to finish is to take constant. trying out © Teach the Soul – 2007 68 . Before we go deeper into the specifics of taking action. You might think to yourself that you don’t spend any time in the past and you certainly can’t travel to the future. we need to spend a little time on some things that will help you in the process of taking action. But the simple truth is that most people do not live their lives in the present moment. finishing is the goal. consistent action. There are lots of people who will get started. you would probably give me a bit of a puzzled look. We play past events over and over. That was consistent action. There was only one thing missing. While you can never finish unless you start.Taking Action I have known plenty of people who were great at setting goals but not very good at achieving them. Some even start with a bang. How do we spend time in the past? We are constantly replaying past events. trying in our mind to change the outcome. We spend far too much time in the past.
we are letting go of the only thing we really do control.” Now what he meant might not be obvious. While we are trying to reshape things that have happened.different endings. Understand that you are not your feelings. we are not fully present in the current moment. We can’t change it. The past is history. However we must not become too attached to the plan. Neither suppressing nor expressing is totally healthy. Realize that no matter how good or how bad some past event was. What is the answer? Accept the past. Instead you should learn to release the feelings. Expressing usually shows up in some emotional outlet – anger. tears. we cannot change what has happened. We often spend a lot of time in the future. If our minds are tied up in the past. We can suppress our feelings about some past event or we can express our feelings. “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans were useless but planning is indispensable. There is a difference between planning and trying to live the future before it arrives. But consider this. When the actual battle started. You created the feelings and you can release them. We imagine things we should have said or done and how that would make things different. Suppressing feelings about the past usually shows up in elevated stress levels. We get very attached to memories and refuse to let go. It does not matter how many time we replay things in our mind. nothing you do will change the outcome. We need to plan. many things happened that the generals had not expected – and the plan no matter how © Teach the Soul – 2007 69 . resentment. General Dwight Eisenhower. the commander of the Allied troops in Europe during World War II said this about planning. that is the present moment. Trying to live out the future before it arrives.
We often try to shape how the future will unfold for us. You will be better prepared for the future. The less clutter and confusion you have in your life. the easier it will be for you to focus your energy on achieving your goals. It may be your desk. These are very simple but important things you can do that will simplify your life. We only have control over our reaction to events as they happen. While we certainly need to prepare for the future. They tried to prepare for all contingencies. Take a good look at all the things you are doing. no matter what the enemy. your schedule or your mind. But the process of planning made them question everything. we do not need to spend time trying to predict the future. they surely would have been in serious trouble. If you are like most people. there are some housecleaning activities that can speed your progress. So the process was valuable. Are there some activities that are not really important? Are there some things that you are doing out of habit? Do you belong to © Teach the Soul – 2007 70 . You need to eliminate some things in your life.carefully drawn out – was soon abandoned. the weather and other unexpected happenings. But if they had tried to stick to the plan. We have no control over others or outside circumstances. The first step in housecleaning is to look around at all the clutter in your life. Spend your time learning and growing. We get caught up in playing out how future events will play out. you have lots of clutter in your life. Housecleaning As you set out to achieve your goals.
you need to reduce the number of distractions and the time and energy they consume. We let celebrity news events distract us. you have way too many options. On the one hand it might seem like a blessing to live in so much abundance where we can pick and choose. Most of us find it difficult to make choices. We have too many options.some clubs or other organizations that take a lot of time and energy but produce little value in your life? You will need lots of time and energy to focus on the things you really want. We spend too much time in meetings. Rather than choose between belonging to organization A or club B. Again. What is necessary for failure? To help you. This © Teach the Soul – 2007 71 . you might think back on some of the bigger failures in your life. if you truly want to achieve your goals. think about the times that they experienced failure. you will need to narrow your focus. Take the time now to rid your life of some of the clutter that is draining your time and energy. But having too many options really keeps us from developing a very narrow focus. how would you answer? That is an interesting question. We have too many television programs to choose from and spend too much time being distracted by TV programs. we choose both. You are not going to come up with the answer just off the top of your head. If you truly want to achieve your goals. If I asked you what was necessary for failure. What was the one thing they all had in common? If you have children or employees. I would like you to think about it for a few minutes. We also have far too many distractions. If you are like most people. We let friends distract us. social events and in front of the computer monitor.
But it is all too common. Well the answer will surprise you. If we can shift the responsibility to someone or something else. the one thing that all failures had in common was excuses. they are still excuses. Just think about it. It might be helpful to look beyond the excuses and try to understand what we are attempting to accomplish with the excuses and what about the excuses contributes to the failure. But here it is. First. we protect our ego. in my opinion that is not a failure. Now we all make mistakes. And if we do not learn. take full responsibility and learn from it. © Teach the Soul – 2007 72 . But in the end. At least in our own mind we have rationalized our actions. When you learn. we will not learn from them. when you strip them down to the bare essentials. they are still excuses. If we do not take responsibility for our actions. It really does not matter how simple or elaborate they are. All the failures I have been associated with. And if you admit to your mistake. it can not be considered a failure.will take a bit of thinking. it truly was a failure. the excuse is an attempt to shift the responsibility. So we don’t have to feel bad. mine. That is a learning experience. And the excuses can run from the bland to the unbelievable. It was not our fault. Excuses. It is not our fault. “I thought …” or “I didn’t know … “or “How was I to know …”. They often start with something like. What is absolutely necessary for failure? I am sure that right now you are scratching your head and wondering what can possibly be common to all failures. in a group or with a client … no matter what. And that is exactly why it is a failure.
Do not be afraid that these people are too big or too important to help you. The more people you can enlist to help you. The first is expanding your list of contacts. Next time you begin to offer an excuse. the quicker and easier it will be to achieve your goals. Don’t start by making new contacts on the same level you are. you need to find people who are further along the path to success than you are.But if in trying to protect the ego. we took full responsibility and learned from our mistakes? Excuses would vanish. Some tools As you start to work on achieving your goals. How much better off would each of us be if every time we made a mistake. we refuse to take responsibility. we’d make a lot fewer mistakes. there are some tools that will help you along the way. that truly is a failure. You will rarely achieve all your goals working by yourself. So the one thing all failures have in common is excuses. And because we would be learning from our mistakes. And so would failures. We are quite creative in inventing excuses and at times actually give ourselves a pat on the back for coming up with “acceptable excuses”. Are you giving up a real learning opportunity to escape short term embarrassment? So start right now and eliminate excuses from your life. stop and think. Some might © Teach the Soul – 2007 73 . we refuse to really learn. If you are looking to grow and looking for folks to help you grow.
you will have found a gold mine. out of mind” is true. “Out of sight. And never make the mistake of just calling on connections when you need something. Find some ways to be of service to those who are helping you. Always be looking for ways to help others. Now do not expect them to baby sit you. But if you find a mentor that will give you a couple of hours per month. This could be a bi-monthly or monthly progress report. they will cease offering any help. The old saying.feel that way. One of the things you must do is get good at observing what successful people do. don’t ride the good horse to death. You need to make a list of all the possible contacts and connections that might help you along your path. taking responsibility for your own actions and are not really serious. They will also point you in the right direction and give you some guidance. If you are showing progress. doing what you have committed to do. But most will be willing to share some ideas and insights with you. Once you have this list. it is highly like that the mentor will introduce you to additional valuable resources. a short telephone call every couple of weeks or a periodic email. Don’t try to fool them or make excuses for your lack of progress. While at first some mentors will be willing to help with little or no thought of return favors. you must honor their time and advice. But the majority of truly successful people are willing to help those who are totally dedicated to improving their lives. But at the first sign that you are not doing the work. Treasure it like one. If you don’t maintain contact you will lose contact. It should be clear to you that © Teach the Soul – 2007 74 . find some method to maintain contact. If you are going to seek help from successful people.
then you must excel at your chosen profession. They don’t act or live like the majority of people. I am talking about being dependable in everyday matters. I was on a job with one other new accountant. You must engage in a process of constant learning and improvement. people should be able to count on you. you need a pencil. Now I know that things come up from time to time making it impossible for you to do what you had agreed to do. that is okay. Be on time and be prepared. You must become an expert in your chosen line of work. But not before he delivered a very stern lecture. When you commit to something. So you need to find out what they do that is different. The manager opened his briefcase and gave him a pencil. © Teach the Soul – 2007 75 . Develop the habit of being dependable. Learn to observe. you are fired. When I first started working as an accountant. Whatever the tools of your business. Even though I had my basic tools. This means that you do not settle for the minimum educational and training requirements. You can not be run of the mill. Being dependable means being totally prepared. I did not escape the lecture. be sure you have them with you. they probably do not realize and could not give you a good answer. The other new accountant went to our manager and asked for a pencil.successful people do not do what the majority of people do. I am not talking about the exceptions. I never forgot that lesson. He said if you are going to be doing accounting. The next you need to ask for the basic tools needed to do the job. The first time you ask. average person and expect to command higher than normal compensation. If you ask them. Assuming that part of your goal is about financial success.
By sharing your knowledge. That is. then you will need to be an above average person in your field. But it will not happen by magic. This is not as hard as you might think. listening and attending meetings. you must be fully committed to your success. spend about half hour to one hour per day in concentrated study aimed to improve your skills in your field. You must learn to share your knowledge with others. One of the keys to achieving your goals is to be fully committed. Going at your goals in a © Teach the Soul – 2007 76 . superficial people and we never develop our natural gifts.If your plan is to make above average income. A half-hearted spirit has no power. we are hollow. That is good but you will not get out in front by just reading. At first you will simply be absorbing information. The only way I know is to take a systematic approach. You will need to become a teacher. Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes. Your level of Desire Soon you will be starting to take action towards achieving your goals. you will become the person people turn to when they need your knowledge and experience. watching DVDs and attending seminars and workshops. listening to CDs. This can be reading books. Epictetus If you expect to achieve extraordinary success. Unless we fully give ourselves over to our endeavors.
everyone would be successful. Education will not. Talent will not. Do not let things stack up on you. If you put things off. nothing is more common that unsuccessful men with talent. when you feel like quitting. You can look at your goals and get a feeling of helplessness. © Teach the Soul – 2007 77 . they fold their tent and go home. the world if full of educated failure. you would be better off giving up now. You have to go “all in”. unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Calvin Coolidge If you have the commitment. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. That does not mean it is impossible. Genius will not. Here is where the strength of your commitment really shows. It does mean that when you meet resistance. Here is where the “ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. You must develop a bias for action. you will lose the enthusiasm for doing them. That is. If it were a cake walk. A lot of people will start strong and then when they meet the least bit of resistance. You can absolutely count on some bumps in the road and some setbacks. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.half-hearted effort will never give you what you are seeking. If you are not willing to fully commit. And as soon as you get behind on your goals schedule it is all too easy to become overwhelmed. Other things will come up and you will slip behind. you will have no trouble with this last point. Your commitment must be strong. You can stay ahead of the game by taking action each and every day. Some people have used the mantra of TNT – Today Not Tomorrow. develop the habit of “Do It Now”.” Don’t let yourself get behind. you will need some extra reserves to push you through the resistance. You must make a strong commitment to your goals.
One last thought about your goals If you are like most people. © Teach the Soul – 2007 78 .” If you take small actions each day. In western society. If you try to do it all at once. We say one thing and do another. you have a lot of material items on your goals list. you’ll never be able to choke it down. We have come to believe that we will achieve happiness when we get a certain amount of money in the bank. happiness can only be found within. But it probably would be helpful to examine your reasons for wanting those goals. There is nothing wrong with those goals. We buy expensive gadgets with the expectation that they will bring us a certain degree of happiness. In short. There is no point in setting goals. “How do you eat an elephant?” “One bite at a time. We buy much more than we need or can properly use.It is like the old question. But our actions and our words are not in harmony. You probably have also listed a certain amount of liquid assets (cash and securities) which is intended to provide a certain degree of security. Now every high school student will write in their essays that happiness does not come with acquiring things. Even some adults will say they firmly believe that. we have been sold the idea that happiness comes with achieving a certain level of financial success. a bigger house. more expensive automobile. It might be a newer. We horde things. have a certain size house in the proper area of town. a county or beach home. working hard to achieve them and the finding out that they really did not bring the satisfaction you had hoped and expected. are able to send our children to the proper schools and colleges. before you know it you will be realizing your goals. consumerism is rampant.
If you engage in the pursuit of material things for the satisfaction of the ego. The new always wears off. When you start to feed the ego. It drives us to protect its feelings. Now I am not for a minute suggesting that you forgo all material possessions. you are engaging in a game that you cannot win. What is the answer? You really must find your purpose in life.We think we need the smallest new cell phone on the market. It is like a drug addict. Find something where you are contributing more to life. You get high. bigger and better. you will be on a circular chase that is never ending. cannot be your motivational force. Same as with drugs. And what happens when the new wears off? We need something else newer. You really need to make certain that your contribution to the world is equal or greater than what you are taking from the world. And the acquisition of things soothes the ego on a short-term temporary basis. crash and then you need something bigger to get you high again. The more you get. If we don’t have the latest and greatest. © Teach the Soul – 2007 79 . I am strongly suggesting that you understand that material possessions should not. So here is a very important lesson that you really need to understand. then we somehow feel inferior. Our ego is very fragile. We want an automobile that says we have made it. Make sure that what you are doing is doing something for the betterment of mankind and the world. We also know we need the largest screen HDTV that is made. the more you will want. Why do we feel the need for all these latest and greatest gadgets? It is because of our ego.
Happiness truly does come from within. Now you need to devise a plan to achieve those goals. You will never satisfy it. The ego can never be satisfied. Here is where you will separate yourself from all the goal setters and become a goal achiever. you have every right to drive a luxury automobile.I truly believe that you have the right to live in total comfort. you should have a very good set of goals with a specific date for accomplishing those goals. then you will be on the right road to achieving your goals and finding happiness. You will need to make a list of all the things you will need to achieve your goal. If you choose to drive a luxury automobile. Go to your revised list of goals and select one goal. You will need lots of energy to see you through to the end. Action plan If you have followed the instructions to this point. But if you think that once you get that high priced car you will have found happiness. Happiness comes from ruling your ego – not from trying to satisfy it. then so long as you are providing service to the world. so I want you to pick a goal that will really mean something to you when you achieve it. you are going to experience a real letdown. All I am suggesting is that you be well aware of what you want and why you want it. List © Teach the Soul – 2007 80 . If you understand and accept that. It is better if you pick one that is high on your list.
you must do more than you have previously done. In short list everything you can think of that you might need to achieve your goal. Then take an inventory of the skills and tools you already possess. So long as you are clear about a direction. The mind is a very complex and marvelous resource. you must have focus. You must move out of your comfort zone. any funds you will need. Let’s recap the steps we have taken. the mind will not be able to focus. Just do something each day that moves you toward your goals and before long you will look back from where you started and be amazed at the progress you have made. There is no point in trying to work miracles. Next make a list of possible sources for the resources you do not currently possess. Just become very clear about those things that you really need to achieve your goal. the information you must obtain. Ask your © Teach the Soul – 2007 81 . But you will not achieve stretch goals in one giant leap. If you don’t have any idea where you will get some resource it is okay. For the mind to really perform. Then begin to make a list of possible sources of obtaining those items you will need to achieve your goal. the mind begins to devise means of getting what you need. Don’t fret over how or where you will get what you need. one of the characteristics of a goal should be to stretch your abilities. The first thing you need to do is to make a list of resources you need to complete your goal. The best way to obtain these resources is to ask. You might say the mind loves a challenge. As mentioned earlier.the skills you must acquire. Achieving any goal should be a step by step process. The next step is to lay out a plan or road map to achieve your goals. Once you really get clear about what you need. To be more. And unless you are totally clear.
But if you are just a taker. your fellow employees and anyone else you can think of. Make sure there is a need for the product or service before you proceed to spend lots of money developing it. © Teach the Soul – 2007 82 . Don’t let your ego get in the way of your success. Ralph Waldo Emerson. they take much longer and in the end the product or service is not as good as it could have been. There are some things that others will be able to do better than you. If your goal is to become financially independent. if you are also a giver. They make lots of mistakes. Here is where a lot of people go wrong.” You cannot be an expert in all things. You will do much better working with a team than being a lone ranger. The first step in that process is to make sure the world wants or needs the product or service that you intend to deliver. And they wonder why they never get what they ask for.” Do not ask without being prepared to give something in return. Then you must develop the product or service.friends. Most people think they must do everything themselves. Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. so shall you reap. you will need to start with a product or service that you are going to provide. Just because you are in love with your product or service does not mean that everyone else feels the same about it. You also must prepare a detail step by step plan for achieving your goals. The world can be a very giving place. If you ask in the proper manner. You must remember that “as you sow. you will be amazed at the number of people who will be willing to help you. then you will not find people anxious to help. Far too many people ask without being prepared to also be a giver. The lesson here is “two heads are much better than one.
There is one reason that most people do not achieve their goals. do not rely solely on your own experience. That is not accountability. “It’s the easiest thing in the world for a man to deceive himself. And we will accept our own excuses or justification. They want the luxury of being able to let their schedule slip. will do more to help you achieve your goals than anything else I can recommend. Seek out the help of others.” You need someone to hold you accountable. but without effective © Teach the Soul – 2007 83 . Why? Most people really do not want to be held accountable. the most important step is to market it. You can have an excellent product or service. Once you have developed your product or service. If you select a friend. “Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. As Benjamin Franklin said. Again. You need someone to hold your feet to the fire. But you will never accomplish as much by yourself and you can with an accountability partner. While a friend might seem like the easy route to take. This simple step. getting an accountability partner. Just make sure that you pick one that will really hold you accountable. They do not have anyone to account to.” We can make excuses about why we did not do what we were supposed to do. For an accountability partner to work. Most people will not do this simple step. make sure the friend understands the importance of holding you accountable. you will need to be totally honest. Often they will accept your excuses and let you off the hook. It works. Emerson understood this very well when he wrote the words. This can be a coach/mentor or a friend. You might think that you have the self-discipline that you need. They want to be able to do things that are not taking them towards their goals without having to account for it. often the friend does not have the courage to really tell you like it is.
marketing, it will remain your product or service. You must be able to convince other people to buy your product or service. Now that you have developed a detail plan of action, you must take action each and every day. Realize this, every thing you do, each and every day either moves you toward your goals or takes you in the opposite direction. Learn to examine your actions. Are they taking you toward your goals? If not, then they must be taking you away from your goals. Most people do some things that take them toward their goals but they also do a number of things that take them away from their goals. What happens? It is very simple. You are being pulled in two different directions. And the end result is you are not making sufficient progress toward your goals. It like a football team that makes a great play that gains 8 yards and on the next play gets penalized or set back 10 yards. The positive action was more than offset by the negative action. Learn about your negative actions and eliminate them from your life. Success is not a destination. Success is a journey. Make sure you are constantly on the right path and that you are constantly moving forward. With your detail plan for achieving your goals, you should have measurable milestones. Each time you reach a milestone, mark it on your goal worksheet. Also you should celebrate your small victories. By acknowledging your progress, you give yourself the necessary energy to keep pushing forward.
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Fear is probably responsible for keeping more people stuck in their present circumstances than lack of knowledge or lack of money. There is lots of talk about fear but few people really take the time to understand what fear really in, how much influence it has on our lives and how you can overcome the fear. In some respects, you can think of fear a lot like you think of love. Everyone talks about it, but very few people can really explain what it is, how it affects our lives and what we can do about it. Fear comes in different shapes and sizes. Most of us think of fear as some outside event that causes all our vital signs to go off the charts. That is simply one aspect of fear. There is no question if we happen to get caught in the crossfire of a
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shoot-out between some rival drug dealers, we would experience that sort of fear. But that type of fear is usually short lived. The circumstances that cause that type of fear normally do not last long. And once the threat is removed, we no longer experience that time of fear. But that is not the most damaging type of fear. It is the fear of failure and the fear of success that really keep us trapped in what is all too often called our comfort zone. I have a lot of trouble with the term comfort zone. Very few people are truly comfortable. I think the term really means that we would rather deal with the devil we have than deal with the devil that we might get if we did something to change our circumstances. Changing our circumstances involves dealing with the unknown. And for most of us, that involves a certain amount of fear. We need to understand that fear is perfectly normal. It is the body’s built in self-preservation method. This is some build in instinct that we have possessed for ages. But is something is unknown, the ego senses fear. Our ego is determined to save us at all cost. So if some activity is new, it will by definition involve some unknown, then the ego goes into the fight or flight mode. Since modern society does not favor either option, we are left with no alternate way to deal with the fight or flight emotions. The body has no internal way to deal with this type of fear. We can’t run and there is no enemy to fight. This fear that we can’t see and have no effective method to fight does two things. One it raises our stress levels and since the only way we can imagine getting away from the fear is to stay away from the unknown, we stay stuck. Stress levels
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if it did not survive the immediate threat. the immune system would shut down. But our body reacts the same way. We need to go back a few thousand years to the days of the cave man to get a basic understanding of what is going on with stress in our everyday life. In either case. We all have this vague notion of stress but most of us do not understand what really causes the stress and how our bodies respond to it. After all. There was no need for the long-term immunity system to be using up precious body resources. the adrenaline gland would release a burst of energy.Our increased stress level is responsible for the vast majority of medical problems in the United States. If he was going to run. the body needed a surge of energy. but we have this surge of anger because we believe that the offending driver violated our rights. he needed energy. most of the encounters with the unknown are not life threatening. most times we are not in danger of an accident. When the caveman encountered the unknown. Most of the encounters today are not threats of physical harm. He would evaluate the potential danger of the situation and make the decision to fight or flee. Today. All the body’s energy was turned to immediate survival. We can feel our pulse rate soar as our © Teach the Soul – 2007 87 . there would be no need for the long-term immunity system. When this happened. If he was going to fight. The threats are to our ego. When someone cuts in front of us on the freeway. So as soon as he sensed some sort of danger. he had two choices – he could stand and fight or he could run for his life. But for most encounters we cannot physically fight or run. The adrenaline gland produces energy boosting secretions and the immune system shuts down. he needed the burst of energy to propel him away from the danger.
we become stressed. the way we are dressed or some other negative comment about us. The truth is our lives are filled with stressful situations – situations that are not going the way we want them to do. Fear is sharp sighted and can see things underground and much more in the skies. We become frustrated and angry. Actually it is even worse than that.heart pumps faster. We begin to imagine things happening that are not in accordance with our ideal world and we get stressed out. There is no one to physically fight and there is no place to run. We have our idea of how the world should work. We could be on the receiving end of a complaint or unreasonable request from our boss. we are generally helpless. the adrenaline system starts to work but it is all for naught. Except for our typical hand salute and a few choice words that are only heard by us and any occupants of our car. The problems in today’s society are different. A similar situation occurs when we are on the phone trying to resolve a dispute concerning a purchase we made or a charge to our account. Our typical day is filled with other situations like the above two examples. If could be a co-worker saying something about what we did. Miguel Cervantes © Teach the Soul – 2007 88 . But our options for immediate redress are very limited. Now when we start to imagine things that could happen that is just another way to describe fear. The person on the other end of the line will not listen to our problem. Yet our bodies are still reacting to the flight or fight design that has been outdated for centuries. And when things happen that do not conform to our ideal world. Again.
We went to great efforts to lose ourselves in the crowd. you never know what might happen. generally we are anticipating the worst. Now of course it did not stop with our parents. you will fall and break a leg. Don’t make waves. But testing the same children when they were in the 12th grade. Do not stand out from the crowd. The can be a self-fulfilling exercise. We can fear something and then get stuck in a no action mode. But by constantly repeating these and other similar phrases. We were taught to fit in.” “Don’t talk to strangers. We became afraid to express ourselves. We let our imaginations run wild. In an effort to protect us and keep us safe. © Teach the Soul – 2007 89 . only 5% tested creative. To some extent we can probably trace part of this fear back to our parents. Failing to take action is at times carries more risk than taking action. There have been studies that showed that 95% of the children in the first grade tested highly creative.” And of course the list goes on and on. When we went off to school there was this unspoken directive – fit in. “Don’t climb that tree. Fear of failure Our fear of failure often prevents us from even trying to achieve a goal. All of these things that we heard as children hundreds of times were meant to keep us safe. they drummed caution into our heads. If you are “different” you will attract attention – and it will not be good.When we start projecting things that might happen. they were ever vigilant about telling us of the dangers inherent in trying new things.
We must be our own unique person. I explained that my daughter was new there and needed someone to show her around. I asked if anyone was going to be in the seventh grade. Everything was new and she would not know anyone there. She wanted some support. one bouncy young girl stepped forward and introduced herself. “You are not going to just drop me off are you?” It really was not a question. she was not her usual bubbly self. © Teach the Soul – 2007 90 . As I was driving her to class on that first day. thinking person. So how do we over come fear? The first thing you need to understand that fear is an emotion. Our daughter had gone to a private school from Pre-K through the sixth grade. But because of years of conditioning. We want to blend in. we are afraid to stand out. As we approached the school she said. So I parked the car. She became a guide for my daughter for the day. In short we have been conditioned to be a logical. She was very quiet. The school we picked out was much larger and across town. which was the highest grade the school offered. After the second try. But logic will never be more powerful than emotion. she had to start at a new school. Yet we have been taught to rely on our information and knowledge. we cannot be part of the crowd. Let me relate a little story that will illustrate this concept. took her by the hand and we approached a group of students that appeared to be about her age.But we know if we are going to design an extra-ordinary life. We must stand out. So for the seventh grade. It was a demand.
We only had kerosene lanterns. The pants were laid down on the seat of the chair and © Teach the Soul – 2007 91 . Emotions always overrule logic. I had opened my shirt and hung it over the back of the chair. but we did not have electric lights in that particular house. Now this might be difficult for you to believe. let me illustrate with a little story. then the fear goes away. trying to overcome the fear with rational reasoning is useless. It will not work. Her new little friend gave her the emotional support she needed. What difference do you think it would have made for me to explain for hours on end that there would be plenty of other new students in the same situation? I can tell you it would have made no difference. We lived in a rent house in a rural area. it is sometimes helpful to dig deeper and try to expose our fears for what they are. Fear is an emotion. It was like the chair was wearing the shirt.What are the lessons from this incident? More than you might think. Identify fear Even though fear is an emotional response. Again. Well there was a chair in my bedroom and rather than hang my clothes on a rack. When you are dealing with someone in a situation where they are experiencing fear. I solved the problem by finding a buddy that she could connect with. Logic or reasoning really will not overcome fear. If we can bring the unknown to the known. First you must understand that my daughter was frightened with the prospect of going to a school where everything was totally new. This actually happened to me when I was about six years old.
draped down toward the floor. But that is one of the problems with fear. There was nothing of value to steal. you will probably find that your fears are actually baseless. When we are in the grips of fear. If I had thought rationally. It was only my clothes. If you are reluctant to move ahead on a project or idea. Arrange those items from the least likely to the most likely outcome. Of course I had forgotten that I had carelessly decorated the chair with my clothes. But asking someone who is experiencing fear to examine the fear rationally is a tall order. On the other side. my fear was real. I begin to see that my fears were baseless. here is one way to try and overcome the fear. So if you are fearful about taking action and you can rationally dig deeper concerning your fear. I might have concluded that any self-respecting burglar would never break into a house such as ours. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. Well I awoke in the early morning hours and when I looked in the direction of the chair. Now let me tell you. Well as morning broke and the light improved. it will not work. In the dim light. rational thinking never enters into the picture. On one side. list all the good that you expect to gain from completion of the project. This is a method of evaluating the risk. Then consider all the bad things that might happen. I am not saying you should not try. But here is one exercise that you should do. I was imagining all sorts of sinister things that a burglar could be doing sitting there in the chair. In fact I really urge you to try to examine your fears. it looked like a person was sitting there. If the most likely negative outcome is not that bad and the most likely positive outcome brings you © Teach the Soul – 2007 92 . list all the unpleasant things that might come about from the failure of the project. I just know for some people.
it is probably not the end of the world. we stand a much better chance of accomplishing our goals. We allow ourselves to make excuses for our lack of accomplishments. You need to truly believe that what you are going after is the right thing for you to do and to do anything less would be settling for less than your full potential. You must be fully committed to achieving your goals. Keep in mind that even if the worst case should actually happen. How do you develop strong emotional reasons for achieving your goals? This is basically intrinsic motivation. If your emotional reasons for achieving your stated goals are strong enough. You can enlist the assistance of an accountability partner. By having someone that we respect hold us accountable. you need a strong emotional reason to achieve a goal that will move you to where you want to be. You need a strong belief in yourself and your abilities. Often we are not able to discipline ourselves. This is simply a method of bringing your fears into the light. © Teach the Soul – 2007 93 . you will be in a stronger position next time you are faced with a similar situation. it should overcome the fear. It is much more difficult for us to fabricate an excuse for our accountability partner than it is for us to con ourselves. this should give you ample reason to proceed. Looking at the worst case and the probability that it will or will not happen will often give you enough comfort to proceed.satisfactory results. which we all too readily accept. If you do fall flat on your face but learn from your mistake. Desire for gain As we have discussed before.
It does no good to have someone who will not really hold you accountable. we will let our fears keep us from taking the action that must be taken to achieve that goal. then you need to do your best to make sure that the emotional reasons for achieving your goals are strong enough to push you forward through your fears. For example. The name comes from the Japanese method of quality control. One last method There is one final method I can suggest for overcoming your fears. If rationally looking at your fears will not dissolve them. If we are not fully committed to that goal. you must choose one that will not let you off the hook too easily.If you choose to use an accountability partner. you need to examine your desires concerning that goal. we might set a goal to have a million dollars within five years. we might not believe that we are capable of having that much or we might not believe that we deserve to have that much money. it was actually exported to Japan by Edward Deming. This one can best be described as the kaizen way. Now while we think of it as being Japanese. You need to give them adequate thought. © Teach the Soul – 2007 94 . If you are consistently having trouble achieving a goal. and I highly recommend you do. We are often setting these goals for someone else. Is it a goal that you truly want? Why do you want it? What are the benefits of obtaining that goal? What are the penalties for not obtaining it? How will your life change with or without achieving the goal? These are tough questions and are not to be answered lightly. We set them because we feel like we are supposed to. At times we set goals that we truly do not believe in or are not committed to. an American. Now we might not really have a strong desire to have that much money.
But if you used the kaizen method. Something so small that anyone could do it. selfimprovement program. Another example might be starting a self-development. you might decide to break off the first bite and throw it away. I totally endorse such a program. Our ego is comfortable with life as it is. Your mind will take that as a major change and while you might not recognize it as fear. Say for instance. but at an emotional level. the changes will be so small that the ego does not even realize we are making changes. Change involves the unknown. Let’s say you wanted to go on a diet and lose 10 pounds. We are probably not even aware of the fear.The whole concept of the kaizen is to take small but consistent steps toward your goal. Therefore when we try to make substantial changes in what we are doing. However. your mind will work to keep things as they are. as a natural reaction to the changes. The unknown provokes fear. our ego resists the changes. And if you start out trying to devote an hour per day you might carry it out for a week or © Teach the Soul – 2007 95 . that can be a bit overbearing for some people. instead of cutting our candy bars totally. we bring about fear. Self-discipline would really not be required. It is uncomfortable with changes and will in fact take action to make sure the changes do not come about. Let me give you a specific example. we undertake to make massive changes in a short period of time. the way we act. instead of jumping on a diet you would start so small that it would hardly be noticeable. Generally when we set out to make changes. But if we attempt the changes using the kaizen method. Some people make a goal to devote one or two hours per day to such a program. Changes too small to register on the fear scale are acceptable to the ego.
There are three basic methods to overcome fear. Fear would have been behind the abandonment. the less there is to fear. If the emotional drive toward your goal is stronger than the fear. The second method is to make sure we are totally committed. Often we fear the concept or the shadow rather than the reality. you will get there © Teach the Soul – 2007 96 . Be sure you have strong emotional drives that will propel you to our goals. So the more we know. The more you know the less that is unknown. it would then be easy to expand to 10 minutes per day. But you would have done it so gradually you never would have induced the fear of the unknown. So the very first step in overcoming fear is to understand as much as you can about what you are fearful of. But if you employed the kaizen method. Gradual small steps would eventually get you to the hour or two hours per day that would be your ultimate goal. You may also find emotional support by using an accountability partner. the less hold it will have on us. By taking small but consistent steps to achieve your goals. Set the steps so small that anyone could do them. Just make sure the accountability partner will truly hold you accountable. Your mind would have generated excuses not to continue. First is to examine the fear. fear is an emotion and rarely will we be able to rationally overcome our fear by saying there is nothing to be afraid of. And if you keep up the five minutes until it becomes an ingrained habit. The more we learn about what we fear. Get it out in the open and see the reality of what you fear. It is the unknown that we fear. And the last method is the kaizen method. you might start with five minutes per day.two before you totally abandoned the idea. To recap. Now anyone should be able to devote five minutes per day to self-improvement. you will have no trouble doing what is needed.
Adopt the motto. If you are going to be successful in life. I don’t know where the day went. tasks and your commitments. The more important things we allocate to some future time period. the more likely we will become overwhelmed at all the important things that need to be done.” Of course there are lots of variations of that phrase. Manage your projects. You have some control over how you choose to use your time. “I don’t have any time. You must stop letting the minutes slip away from you. And of course – time flies. The truth is we cannot manage time.” You probably have seen some books or courses on time management. They are always put off until tomorrow. you must learn to get the most value out of your day. © Teach the Soul – 2007 97 . Time cannot be saved or compressed. Time One of the most often heard phrases today is. there will be no fear involved. The end result is none of the important things ever get done. And unfortunately we allow more and more things to become urgent. “Make each day count. We often let the urgent take control of our lives and therefore put off the really important task until some future time. I am too busy. Give up on the idea of managing time. Accept that you can only manage yourself.much faster and if the steps are small enough.
He asked the president to take out a pencil and paper. the consultant asked him to put those items in their order of importance. We just don’t have the time to do what we know needs to be done. Once he had listed the six items. it is not the best use of your time. The consultant replied that was a fairly easy task. There is a story told about a management consultant who was trying to secure a consulting job for a major steel manufacturing company. While there is something to be said for getting things done. It is common for us to handle these urgent tasks without regard to the value of the task. We need to decide on our most important tasks and rank those tasks in order of importance. he told the president that he could show him how to improve the productivity and profit of the organization by identifying what needed to be done. Then to list the six most important tasks he needed to accomplish tomorrow.” As the story goes. we just put it on top of the list and get it done. As part of his sales presentation. He was pitching the president of the steel company of the value of his services. Normally we do not stop and gauge the value of the task. the president further told him that if he could show them a system for doing what they knew needed to be done. It must be answered. You must learn not to let the urgent take precedence over the important. he would gladly pay him any reasonable sum he requested. “We know what needs to be done. The president reportedly replied. The very best way to make sure that we are handling things in their order of importance is to plan our time. And often there is some small task to be accomplished as a result of the call. if it is at the expense of something that is 5 or 10 times more important. He further © Teach the Soul – 2007 98 .For most of us a ringing telephone or cell phone is an urgent matter.
While it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are making progress by crossing things off our list. If you finish the important tasks and still have time. television and other such unimportant activities. you can go to the other tasks that need to be done. Often we allow the telephone to rule our activities.000 for that simple but highly effective system. I have seen people that had 20. Be on the lookout for time vampires. A few years ago. Well the president meet with so much success using this system. But if you never get to those unimportant tasks. it is okay. emails. But so long as he had all the information. it is reported that the voluntarily sent the consultant a check for $25. You will notice that he limited his to do list to six items. We think that we must stop whatever we are doing and give our full attention to the telephone. You need to always make sure you are working on the important tasks. When that happens. interruptions by co-workers. You need to list your tasks in the order of importance and spend your time and energy on the most important things first.instructed the president that when he arrived at work tomorrow morning he was to work on item number one and stick with it until it was finished. then put it aside and work on item number two. it might have © Teach the Soul – 2007 99 . The most common time vampires are the telephone. There are a couple of points worthy of mentioning. there is the tendency to work on the easy items first to get them off the list. 30 and even 50 items on their to do list. he was not to stop work on item number one for any reason. we are not working on the most important things. Time vampires suck up your time. If he could not finish item number one because he was waiting on someone else for more information or action.
If you work in an office. Email can be a real time vampire if you check your email every hour or so. If you give up control of your time. Don’t fall into the habit of letting email become a time vampire. have it so that you get notified every time you receive a new email. you can gather any information you need to complete the call. It is much more productive to let most calls go to voice mail. Do not let other control your time. It is difficult to estimate the time lost in starting and stopping whatever you might have been working on. It is best to have designated time for scheduled meetings to discuss projects than to be interrupted ever time a question arises. Most email is not so important that it needs to be answered immediately. you will save a tremendous amount of time. interruptions from co-workers can really suck up your time. The important lesson concerning time vampires is you must control your time. Then return the call on your schedule. or worse yet. One of the most effective methods of effectively utilizing your time is to block out time for certain tasks.been more important to answer each and every call. Let’s say that you © Teach the Soul – 2007 100 . It is a real time saving technique to check and answer your email once in the morning and once in the afternoon. If you have your co-workers collect all their questions and schedule a fixed time to go over them. you are giving up control of your life. This forces the caller to leave a message about the nature of the call and if the call is important to you. If you have more than one person who reports to you or works on a peer level. Most emails are simply not that important. getting everyone together for a schedule meeting ensures that everyone gets the same information together and reduces the time lost in individual explanations. That is simply not the case now.
motivational audio programs while you are driving. be there. at first this will be a bit of a challenge. We might be checking out email while we are on the phone. If you are doing some mundane task like folding envelopes you might be able to © Teach the Soul – 2007 101 . You will need to discipline yourself and train those who work with you. There is a saying that I really like – wherever you are. I must warn you. One that I highly recommend is to listen to educational. it sounds like making good use of your time. As the business owner. We probably are all guilty of attempting to multi-task at some time during the day. Multi-tasking is one of the buzz words in our daily life. While in theory. you will see remarkable improvements in your marketing efforts. or even while someone is talking to us. There are a few activities where it makes sense to engage in multi-tasking efforts. But by blocking out the time and not letting anyone or anything interrupt you. Most marketing is hit and miss. If you block out one morning and one afternoon each week to concentrate on marketing and then focus your attention on that task. inspirational. you will be able to accomplish a lot more than normal. Where ever you are. Do not let anything short of a real emergency interrupt your time blocks.own your own business. To a large extent. be there. That simply means give your full attention to whatever you are doing. one of the most important tasks you have is marketing. it is not. But the rewards are well worth it. the value of time blocking lies in not allowing anything encroach on your designated activity during the allocated time period.
It is not the way to save time. But anything where you are interacting with others. in some cases it is downright rude and in most cases it is only partially engaged in two very different activities. Associates © Teach the Soul – 2007 102 . If you are truly not interested in what the other person has to say. driving. tell them in as polite a manner as possible. If you are attempting to do paperwork. It is not the most effective use of ones time and attention. You will do a much better job in less time by giving your full attention to the main task. give them your full attention. The term multi-task meant to be able to switch from one project to another with ease. Generally the other person will pick up on your lack of total attention. check your email or other such task while talking on the phone. A lot of people think that it means trying to do two things at once. focus on the activity at hand. Focus all your energies on the task at hand. If the other person is worth listening to. In some cases it is just poor manners. The vast majority of the time you attempt to do two things at once. you are not fully engaged in the task of attentively listening to the other person on the phone. shopping or engaged in any number of other activities and on their cell phone. It is very easy to look around and spot someone dining out. It does not bode well for building relationships.listen to audio programs. at best you do both poorly.
It is difficult enough to change yourself. There are some circumstances when you will need to break away from some family members. You need to proactively decide on the people you will associate with in life. The second thing to remember is their actions really do not affect you. So save all your energy and efforts for yourself. Let’s face it. But since you actually have no control over what anyone else does. It is your reaction to their actions. you must not let their actions derail yours. The people you associate have way too much influence on your life to leave this to chance. We tend to associate with the people we meet at work or people we meet by accident. we all probably have one or two relatives. It can be very difficult to design your life when you are surrounded by family and relatives who are working to keep you the way you are. If they are engaged in selfdestructive behavior and it has the potential to involve you.Your life will be determined to a large part by the people you choose to associate with. Often we do not make a conscious choice about the people we associate with. You have no ability to change another person. If they are doing things that are detrimental to your well being then you cannot passively sit by and watch. The first thing you need to remember is you are not going to change them. some closer than others that we would gladly trade in if only there were an outlet for them. then take what ever steps are needed to distance yourself from the relationship. it is © Teach the Soul – 2007 103 . While you cannot change anyone. Learn to accept what they do with calmness. I am not saying that you must like all or any of the things the troublesome relative does. I have often been asked for advice on how to handle a negative family member or other relative.
Most successful people are more than happy to mentor sincere. These are the people you want to be your mentors/role models. Do not ask someone to be your mentor and then disagree with their guidance. Don’t let them drag you down. Always come prepared to learn. If you personally know someone that you want to mentor you. What should you look for in a relationship? Look for people who have already achieved what you aspire to become. you can escape their influence. do not let people © Teach the Soul – 2007 104 .foolish to stay in harms way when you know that eventually their actions will directly affect you. You must avoid people who want to make you dependent on them. While they generally do not expect direct compensation. Even if you cannot escape their company. learn to block out their negative comments and actions. If your family and relatives are just an annoyance and not a real impediment. How do you form new more valuable relationships? The first step is to take a look at what you aspire to become. These will be peer type relationships. Explain that you would like to learn from them and ask if they are willing to give you some time and guidance on a regular basis. Find out as much about them as you can. You need to be careful to avoid dependency relationships. Then look for people who have already achieved what you want to become. You control how you react to things. Also look for people who wan to be more and achieve more from life. At the same time. Show up on time for your appointments and be totally prepared for the session. These will be your mentors. It is helpful if you bring a specific agenda and stay focused on it. you must honor their time and experience. dedicated people. the best thing is to simply give them a call.
There is no better way to help yourself than to help others. As you move up in life. Actually this is something that you are going to need to get over if you truly want to be highly successful. conferences. To truly gain the maximum value. One other thing you should do is to look for professionally sponsored educational workshops. You must be a giver. boot camps and seminars in your chosen field. It works both ways – you need to associate with those who are where you want to be and those who want to be where you are. normally you will gain access to many other like minded individuals. I have found on many occasions that the value of the contacts I make at such events far exceeds the cost of attending the programs. be quick to support and help others who are trying to improve themselves. In addition when you engage the services of a mentor/coach. follow-up with all the contacts you made. When we think of those associates that will have a major influence on our lives. The connections you will gain will often prove much more valuable that the cost of the services. That is paid mentors or coaches. You will be repaid many times over. Most people are not willing to pay the price for mentors or coaches. Don’t wait until you need something © Teach the Soul – 2007 105 . The right mentor/coach will return many times the cost of their services. we generally think of friends and coworkers. you must make it a point to get to know the other people in attendance and then once you have returned from the program. They think they are too expensive. You want to associate with people who are independent yet understand and appreciate the value of working with others. But there is one other category that you should not overlook. They can help you rapidly accelerate your success.become dependent on you.
If something is that important. Making Money There is nothing so degrading as the constant anxiety about one’s means of livelihood. Or perhaps it is more correct to say the lack of money.from the people you met. Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. very few people really understand what money is and how it is earned. Yet as important as many people try to make money. People are constantly preoccupied about money or the need for more money in their lives. you would think that people would have a better attitude about money. Many people make money a very important part of their lives. but I can tell you some of the more popular things that most of us were taught about money in our childhood. They tend to measure success in terms of money. it will be there. W. Build the relationship and then when you need some help. truly understand what money is and how to obtain the money the need. Your attitude about money was probably heavily influenced by how your parents viewed money.” © Teach the Soul – 2007 106 . “Money does not grow on trees. Somerset Maugham It seems like money is on everyone’s mind. I cannot know what stories you heard about money when you were a child.
And there is no correlation between hard work and money. The folks in the white shirts that only © Teach the Soul – 2007 107 .” If you were to summarize all the attitudes about money that most of us heard when we were children. I’ll explain that a little later. it would be as follows: You have to work really hard for money. All giving us a totally incorrect view of money. “Your father has to work hard for his money. (The Bible verse says. So what is money? First I will say what money is not.“Money is the root of all evil.”) “They are filthy rich. Hard work generally does not guarantee a sufficient amount of money. Having a lot of money does not mean you were involved in anything illegal. Actually the people that work the hardest are generally at the lower end of the economic scale. which is scarce. “The love of money is the root of all evil. The people working with a shovel or doing other demanding back breaking work generally are on the lower end of the economic ladder. “They have more money than the law allows. And in fact it can seemingly grow on trees or out of thin air. Money is actually not scarce at all. We were all taught some or all of those lessons.” Like accumulating money above a certain amount must involve some illegal activity. Money is dirty and having too much probably means you were engaged in some illegal activity. It is not dirty. Wanting money is evil.” Like somehow having money made one dirty.
You probably have a few dollars in your purse or wallet and can easily recognize that as money. But you are not really getting paid by the hour. you can do so in only two ways. If you want to make more money. Now you may think that you know what money is. You are getting paid for the value you bring to that hour. But do you really understand at a deeper level what money is? If you want to increase your level of money. How does the marketplace determine the value of your time? By the complexity of the job you perform and the amount of time it takes to train someone to do the job and the number of people capable of doing that job. Give higher value services or give the same value services to more people. You probably get paid for a certain amount of time worked – either per hour or per month. But the money you receive is the value of the services you render. You may know it but do you apply that knowledge in your life? Let’s talk about your job.break a sweat on the handball or tennis court generally make multiples of the income of the hardest working class. you must understand what money is. It makes commerce much easier because then it is not necessary for us to barter our services for the things we need. it is the value you bring to the marketplace during and it is measured in a period of time. It is not your time. Now you may be thinking that explanation is rather simple and you already knew that. Money of course is simply a medium of exchange. You cannot design your life to have all the money you want or need if you do not understand this concept. So for the workers in the © Teach the Soul – 2007 108 .
there is one question that you must answer.” Well it is actually better than growing on trees. Money can be created out of thin air. they did not come by their wealth from their own labor. you will see that all these people. But if you look beyond the idea. They have created money from their ideas. You can earn as much as you wish so long as you are supplying what other people want or need. If attaining a more affluent life is part of your design. Therefore the value they bring to the marketplace is much greater. artist and business executive either brought very high value to a few people or a little value to the masses of people. They got wealthy by implementing their ideas. But there are software developers that have created fortunes with their intellectual ideas. you have professional people who spend years in training and are not easily replaces. It takes less than a day to train them in the basics of their job and unfortunately there are always a lot of folks willing to do that job. you must find out how to bring more value to the market place. I said I would explain that money does “grow on trees. Now if you want to earn more. the writer.fast food outlets or the cashier in the local supermarket. And there are business executives that thought of new ways to do business that have become extremely wealthy in a few short years. On the other end of the scale. What value can you bring to the marketplace? What unique talent or service can you provide to others? Will you concentrate on high value © Teach the Soul – 2007 109 . their pay is not that much. Of course the easy examples are writers and artist that create things of great value using little more that paper and ink or canvas and paint. If you study most of the wealthy people.
On the other hand. the outcome is the same. Let’s take an example of a service that most everyone has used – the preparation of their tax return. Since we are totally familiar with our products or services.000 or even higher. Some people do it themselves but a large number of people hire a professional to prepare their tax return. The fees to prepare an identical tax return can run from a low of around $200 to $1. the more competitive pressure there will be in the market place. It done correctly. Said differently. you need to make the product or service as unique as possible. The more a product or service is reduced to a commodity. And often © Teach the Soul – 2007 110 . In order to increase the value of any product or service. the less they are able to charge. if they are appealing to the mass market. But the fee can be significantly different depending on some positioning on the part of the company providing the service. The less selective the firm preparing the return. we tend to place a lower value on them. that appeal only to a select few or to highly specialized situations will be able to charge significantly higher fees. in general their prices will be cheaper. The more people think of a product or service as a commodity – that is basically the same no matter who is selling it – the more the decision is based solely on price. I What is the value of your goods or services? This is a real problem for most people. We tend to discount the value of whatever we offer for sale.services to a select few or will you try to expand your services to the masses. the firms that are highly selective.
There is one other thing you should consider. you would then charge $200 per each return you prepared. Even if you only worked half time you would bring in the same dollar amount. If you were booked solid. © Teach the Soul – 2007 111 . you probably would not get quite as much business. Some potential clients might not be willing to pay the higher price.000 per week. even working only 30 hours per week would bring in $6. Just for example. Let’s say you were doing tax returns. Let’s say you wanted to make $200 per hour. you would bill out $4. But at the higher billing rate. you might only attract enough clients to bill out 30 hours per week. The point of this example is to show the value of raising your rates. And that is what will happen when you compete on price. You stand a much better chance of being highly successful is you will concentrate on providing higher value products or services and charging accordingly. Now consider an alternate situation. It is better to work less and make more than you wear yourself out and still not make any money. If you decided you wanted to make an average of $100 per hour. at the lower rate and only worked 40 hours per week. How hard do you want to work for your money? Let’s consider a couple of examples. If you were going with the higher billing rate. That means that you would need to charge $400 per each return. There might be some price resistance. There are very few businesses where you can compete on price and still make good money.times the level of complexity or amount of work involved is relatively the same. let’s say you could do one tax return every two hours. But if you choose the higher billing rate.000 in billings. Here is where things get interesting.
And to a large extent that is determined by the distribution channels available to you. The number of people you can reach will depend to some extent on the nature of your product or service. On the other hand. The value of your services and the number of people you can reach. If your product or service requires face to face interaction. However. growth and profitability of your business. you have a much higher potential market. Just because you have the potential for a huge market does not necessarily mean that is the ideal market for you.How much can you earn? The amount of money you can earn will be determined by the value of the services you provide and the number of people you reach. There are two components to making money. You need to be aware of the number of potential consumers of your product or services. if your product or service can be delivered digitally or over the phone. © Teach the Soul – 2007 112 . How do you decide on a product or service? One of the worst mistakes you can make is to develop a product or service that you are in love with only to find there are not enough people who share your views. limiting yourself to a certain geographical area can have some serious limitations on the potential size. then the potential number of customers is limited to the population within a certain radius of your base of operations.
They were not willing to ensure their bet by spending the $50. they have a built in inclination to tell you what you want to hear.000 project because they “knew” the market. You can be the best carpenter. Your friends and relatives are a close second. It order to appeal to your market. Even though they are trying to be open and honest. painter or brain surgeon. you will need to develop some unique product or service.000 on market research on a $50. You must develop some unique approach. Specialize. energy and money on developing a product that there is insufficient demand for. you need to have position your product or service as something special. Market research is the least expensive and perhaps the most important part of any project or business decision. I have seen businesses reluctant to spend $50. You are probably the worst judge of the merits. You can decide on the value of your services. But the more © Teach the Soul – 2007 113 . Become an expert in your field.000. but ultimately the market place will decide what your goods or services are worth. The only true indicator is to do market test when it requires a potential consumer to plunk down some money. Value position If you are going to segregate yourself/business from the crowd.000. Even paid focus groups can and often miss the mark when it comes to evaluating market demand. And eventually they lost considerably more because the market was not ready for the product. Make sure you have a good market for your product before you build a business that the market will not support.You will need to do some market research before you spend a lot of time. The people in focus groups are like most humans. Beware of asking your friends and relatives about the merits of your idea.
For example a typical book at Amazon or Barnes and Noble might go for $15 – 25. “Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. Only by offering something different will you be able to charge premium prices for your products or services. you will need to charge premium prices for your services.unique. Some products or services have some clear upper limits on the value of the product or service. you focus on the results the user will derive from the product. But if your book product clearly has value beyond what is typical. What is the most important skill in business? Emerson once said. And if you want to achieve a high degree of financial success. © Teach the Soul – 2007 114 . the less the market will be able to compare you to someone down the street.” It does not matter how good your product or service. you will need to establish that. You must become an expert at marketing. without effective marketing – you will have lots of product gathering dust and idle time on your hands. But that one he got completely wrong.” Now Emerson was one of America’s brightest thinkers and writers. The market cannot buy what it does not know about or value. I would alter it to read like this. No one will be offering exactly the same product or service you are offering. Not only must you be proficient in attracting customers to your product or service. How do you establish value? You don’t focus on the product. “Build a better mousetrap but without effective marketing mice will multiply. Skills or proficiency does not determine demand for your product of service. you must be able to clearly establish the value of what you are offering.
This is your message to your market. You need to identify your target market. The market really does not care about the features. It is much too expensive for a small company to market a mass market product. if it could fulfill its value proposition. The potential user is interested in one thing – what’s in it for me – this is often shown as an acronym WIIFM. it would surely be worth a few hundred dollars. special and not available else where. What need or problem will your product solve for the buyer? © Teach the Soul – 2007 115 . But to a struggling single mom. You will need to learn all the steps in marketing a product or service. The better you can target the potential market. The first step in becoming a good marketer is to get away from the position of trying to sell your product and step into the potential buyer’s position. This is only one small aspect of marketing. Only in this way can you afford to market to them.000 per year and the information was unique. you do not have a market. Look at the proposition from the buyer’s point of view. not much. Once you have narrowed down your target market.For example. if your book taught a person how to start and run a business that would easily make them $75. Again. you need to get away from the focus on the product and get the potential user to focus on the results to them. I have met with businessmen who said their product would appeal to everyone. If you cannot identify a highly targeted market. the easier and cheaper it is to direct your marketing campaign. You need to have a narrow market that you can segment and identify. what would the value of that book be? Well to a brain surgeon. you need to develop your USP – unique selling proposition. It tells your market the benefits of your product or service. Too many people get hung up on telling all the features of the product or service.
Again. We identify and reach out to a target market. you have the opportunity to build trust. One other thing on your marketing message – you need to make a bold promise. Most have been sold some snake oil and once burnt. While this is far short of a complete course on marketing. Today a lot of marketing is call permission marketing. There are a couple of other things you should know. This takes time. the social proof should not be in glowing terms of how nice a person you are or how easy it is to do business with you. twice shy. then you are going to have a difficult time appealing to the consumers. With each contact you have with the potential buyer. You need a bold promise. Buyer’s today are not that willing to part with their money. Today’s consumers are highly skeptical. it is important to cover the highlights here. So you are going to need to supply some social proof that your product produces the results you claim. You will need to build a relationship with the potential buyers. Our marketing process ask those who are interested to raise their hands and ask for a special report. If your product or service is just average. a free sample or some other sort of legitimate bribe which in turn gives the marketer permission to contact them in the future. Remember the potential buyer does not really care how polite you are. © Teach the Soul – 2007 116 . All they really care about is will the product or service provide the benefits you claim. You will need to take a longer term approach to the marketing process. Then the marketing system begins an automated series of spaced contacts designed to build a relationship and eventually convert the person to a paying customer. Your product or service needs to really fulfill a need in a big way.You should not approach the marketing as a one shot deal.
Dan Kennedy preaches that the purpose of the first sale is to get a customer. Therefore you will be able to attract fewer customers. If you are like most marketers and squeeze all you can out of the first sale. If you understand the life time value of a customer and realize that it is a much more profitable business model to spend more money on the front end and develop more customers your business will grow faster. to spend the money getting the customer and making sure that customer © Teach the Soul – 2007 117 . You should understand that it is about ten times harder to sell prevention than it is to sell a cure. People are not willing to spend today on a benefit too far in the future. it may be the only sale you will make to that customer.Now you certainly should not make a promise that your product or service cannot live up to. But unless you really have faith in your product and boldly proclaim the benefits. Life time value of a customer Most business people think the purpose of the first sale is to make a profit. If you build your business model so that you are trying to make a profit on the first and every sale. Hence you will limit the size of the business. They are looking to spend their money on something that gives very short term benefits. But if you learn to over deliver. So when selecting your product. That means no takers. be careful that you are not selecting something that has long term benefits but requires short term sacrifice. you are going to get a ho-hum reaction from the market place. bigger and ultimately more profitable. you are going to limit the amount of funds available for marketing.
A lot of businesses profess that their employees is their most valuable asset. it is very likely that they will refer their friends and associates to you. And your marketing cost will be much lower. you will find it much easier to sell to them again and again. But if you have a satisfied customer that is continually buying from you. So the life time value of a customer is what they are likely to buy from you over their life as a customer. But a strong customer base that believes in you and the value of your products is absolutely the biggest asset your company will ever develop. Develop customers for life Since we just learned that our customer base if the most valuable asset your business will ever develop. it is highly unlikely they will be a huge source of referrals. And certainly since a part of your marketing campaign will ask (or bribe) them to. You must jealously guard your position with © Teach the Soul – 2007 118 .gets a great value proposition. how do you ever make it back? Well once you have a satisfied customer. You will also need to factor in the value of the referrals a satisfied customer will make. Most of the money you spend on the marketing on the front end will not need to be spent on the second and subsequent sale. Now you might say if you lose money on the first sale. Once you have developed the customers trust. Therefore the profit margins will be much higher. you need to treat them with respect. You need to learn to look at a potential customer as the most valuable asset your business can acquire. then you will have a much higher repeat business. If you have a one time sale. it is extremely easy to abuse that trust by selling them some product or service that is overpriced or misrepresented.
You should develop a million dollar rolodex of go to people that you can count on the provide whatever help you need. It is very difficult to develop customers. then you better start getting a new team. Do not get taken in by the lure of short term profits. © Teach the Soul – 2007 119 . If you ever think of asking yourself if some promotion might lose a customer. It is not necessary that all or for that matter any of the team members be employees. you would find that the success is not really a one man (or woman) show. If you wish to be successful you need to develop a team. If you don’t have a team of people that are smarter and possess skills that you don’t possess. It is actually much better to hire highly qualified talent on an as needed basis and hire for the specific skills needed at that time. You can lose them in a heartbeat. Too many people fill their team with people that have the same mindset and skills as they do. There are always plenty of people helping out. It is not worth the risk. it will. You will never be more successful than quality of your team. Who is on your team? If you could get an inside glimpse of a highly successful person’s business. And they wonder why they do not achieve spectacular success.your customer base. Make it a point to build a highly qualified team and always be on the lookout for bright highly successful to add to your team.
If you really want to succeed in life, you must develop persistence. It has been said that success leaves footprints. So study some successful people. What is one characteristic most of them have in common? If you study successful people, you will find that a large percentage of them have found a niche and stuck with it. They did not jump from one opportunity to the next. They did not chase every dream or get rich quick scheme that was presented to them. They found a niche and stuck with it. It really does not matter what area you choose to specialize in, it will take some time to establish yourself in your chosen field. You will need to learn the ins and outs of your particular business. Then depending on your marketing, it will take some time for you and the business to gain traction. You can speed it up with good marketing. But very likely, you will not start at the top of the game. Here is where most people go wrong. They try it for a few months and when they don’t meet with instant success, they think there is something wrong with their chosen field. The grass looks greener in some other pasture. But if you are going to be highly successful, you must learn to stay the course. Often people give up just when they are at the brink of a break through. If things are going a little slow, put a little more energy into the business. Giving up or switching directions too soon runs a great risk. You must learn to hang in there and be persistent. If something is basically wrong with your business model, don’t be stubborn. Learn to tell the
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difference between a structural problem with the model and an execution problem. Most problems are with the execution. We don’t do all the things we should or we don’t execute efficiently. If you are doing everything correct from an operational/marketing standpoint, then it is time to question the business assumptions.
Designing your life can be reduced to two concepts – getting clear and taking focused action. There is so much going on in each of our lives, it is often difficult for us to get really clear – and if we are not clear, focused action is simply not possible. We often get sidetracked, we become opportunistic rather than strategic, that is we jump on each and every opportunity that comes our way. There is an abundance of opportunity. But you have limited time and resources. You must decide on your highest value activities. Devote your time to making your high priority items work successfully. There is generally more money in doing one thing extremely well than in doing ten things moderately okay. The better you get at doing your particular task, the more valuable you become. If you are not achieving what you want, check on your clarity of purpose. If your purpose is clear, examine how much action you are taking toward your goals. What is holding you back?
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Achieving your goals is not nearly as difficult as most people think. If you find you are having trouble reaching your goals, you are probably doing something wrong. Here is a list you can use to find out what you might be doing wrong. 1. Are your goals written? Are they clear? Is there a specific time frame for accomplishing them? 2. Have you identified all the resources you will need to accomplish your goals? 3. Have you identified where you might find the resources you do not currently have? 4. Have you asked for help in obtaining the resources you need? 5. Have you made a step by step plan for obtaining your goals? 6. Are you following the plan? 7. Are you waffling between conflicting goals? Do you say you want something but act totally different? 8. Are you failing to take action on your plan? Why? Ask yourself why you are not doing the things you know you should be doing? 9. If you are slipping, revisit your goals. Ask yourself why you listed the goal in the first place. What outcome were you expecting from this goal? How important to you was this outcome? If you don’t have a strong “why” for each
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you will not have the driving force necessary to achieve it. So re-examine your “why” for each goal. You will come to accept failure as a way of life and that will destroy your drive. You do not want to get into the habit of listing half-hearted goals and then not putting in the effort. © Teach the Soul – 2007 123 . Those goals that were merely wishes should be removed from your list.and every goal.
You should read those types of books that will assist you in your growth. Don’t look at any of these costs as expenses. That is. listening to audio programs. how-to business books. You should also read some psychology books. marketing and management. develop the habit of reading for a fixed amount of time each day. you must develop a habit of continuous learning and growing. An investment that will build in value and continue paying dividends for the rest of your life.Additional resources As you learned earlier. You will do best to take a systematic approach to your reading. if you wish to achieve your full potential in life. You will need to adopt a multi-prong approach to learning and growing. you must become a student of business. You must become a student of life and if you wish to succeed in business. attending live programs and at some point in your development you will need to take the leap and engage mentors and coaches that will help you accelerate your growth. You need a good understand of why people do what © Teach the Soul – 2007 124 . Reading When you are just starting out. Look at them as an investment in yourself. That will involve reading books. While you can learn a lot and make a certain amount of progress from mentors who do not charge directly for their time and advice. This can be biographies of successful men (and unsuccessful for that matter – so you learn what not to do). the least expensive method of learning and growing is to read good books. at some point in your development you will need to spring for paying big bucks to personal attention.
Why we do What we do: Understanding Self-motivation Deci A Manual for Living (A Little Book of Wisdom) Epictetus Mindset: The New Psychology of Success The Power of the Subconscious Mind The Greatest Salesman in the World Carol Dweck Joseph Murphy Og Mandino Man’s Search for Meaning The University of Hard Knocks Viktor E. Frankl Ralph Parlette © Teach the Soul – 2007 125 . Here are my top ten lists of business and life books: Self help. motivational As a Man Thinketh How to Get What You Want My Personal Best James Allen Orison Sweet Marden John Wooden Edward L. Also round out your reading with history and philosophy. inspirational.they do.
Business books: Dr. Jackie Freiberg The Richest Man in Babylon The Magic of Thinking Big George Clason David Schwartz All Marketers are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-trust World Seth Godin Secrets of the Millionaire Mind T. Deming Rafael Aguayo Selling the Invisible: A Field Guide to Modern Marketing Harry Beckwith Influence: Science and Practice Robert Cialdini Think and Grow Rich Good to Great Napoleon Hill Jim Collins Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success Kevin Freiberg. Harv Eker © Teach the Soul – 2007 126 .
Earl Nightingale. Brian Tracy.Audio One of the best ways to accelerate your learning is to turn your drive time into learning time. The best way to imprint the ideas in our brain is by repetition. Denis Waitley and Jim Fay. Zig Ziglar. Dan Kennedy. you can and should check ebay. Once you find a program that you relate to. Deepak Chopra. You can do this by listening to audio CDs while you are driving. The following are a partial list of the programs I have listened to. Psychologists tell us that we need to internalize ideas – that is make them our own – for them to really work for us. Jim Rohn. Tony Robbins. As long as you are buying CDs the material should be in good condition and you can get it at a fraction of the cost. Of course. Jack Canfield. You can put any of the above names in your search engine and it will give you any number of web sites where you can buy their material. Please understand I have only listed a fraction of what is available © Teach the Soul – 2007 127 . I am sure you can find many more. Ron White. Napoleon Hill. listen to it often. This is a partial list of programs that I recommend. But the important point is to engage in a program of continuous learning. Jack Zufelt.
It is very difficult for us to evaluate coaching /mentoring services. If you are looking to be among the very top income earners. They stay in them for one reason. And if you want to be in the circle of millionaires.Mentors/coaches You are not going to learn million dollar ideas from the shoe shine boy. After all. And as a result. They get more out of the program than it cost. Associate with them. the price often is an indication of the quality. There are many high level coaches that charge upwards of $10. then you need to seek out a highly successful coach / mentor. there is no objective method of measuring one service against another. When we have no other means to gauge the value of a product or service. © Teach the Soul – 2007 128 . You can only learn that one way. Often for a few dollars more you can expect a much greater return on your investment. There is a need for them and I am glad that some people have decided that is their calling in life.000 per year for their inner circle coaching programs. your income will depend in part on the caliber of people you associate with. We have been conditioned to shop for goods and services by price. we often look for the least expensive coach / mentor and think we have gotten a great deal or saved some money. Do not look at saving money in this area. However you will find that most of the people who get in these programs tend to stay in them. we tend to make our selection on price. This is a very short-sighted approach to finding a coach / mentor. Like most other products or services. you have to think and act like a millionaire. I am not trying to be mean to the shoe shine boy. It is just that as stated before.
Just one or two new ideas can make a huge difference in your life or your business. You must be willing to do the work yourself. The value is not so much in what you learn but the action you take on what you learn. there will come a time when it is right for you. Attend seminars.I am not suggesting that you jump into one of these expensive coaching programs right off the bat. boot-camps. workshops. Of course. by itself change anything. it does not matter how much you are paying – the value will not be there. and then implement the idea with massive action. No coach can take the action for you. Make it a point to really connect with three to five people. But chances are you would never meet some of the people unless you attended the events. you will see some amazing results. If you are not willing to listen and take action. Do not be afraid to © Teach the Soul – 2007 129 . But if you will learn one or two ideas from each event you attend. There are two reasons. You must implement the idea. The first of course is you should learn something new each time you attend an event. You do not need to learn 10 or 15 things to make the event worthwhile. Learn what they do and how you could possibly help them. Do not just hand out business cards. But as you learn and grow. The second reason to attend live events is the people you will meet. So make it a point to go to events and then once there. learning a new idea will not. make it a point to get around. You should plan to attend at least one or two live programs each and every year. The time does not have so much to do with the size of your business and your willingness to be open to accept the coaching and to take action. Often times you will gain more value from the people you meet at events than you will get from the stage.
you will need to follow a system. The following is a basic path to achieve any goal. While you must keep your focus on what you want. Designing Your Life Appendix A Goals Worksheet If you are going to achieve all the goals you have listed. State your goal: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ State why you want to achieve this goal: © Teach the Soul – 2007 130 . the more active you are about making connections. you still need a system to follow. You cannot approach your goals in a casual manner and expect to achieve them.share your knowledge. You should make copies of this worksheet and use one copy for each goal. Some people are under the mistaken impression that all you need to do is write down your goals and by keeping them in front of you they will by some magic appear. The more you put into an event. the more value you will obtain.
You need some strong emotional reasons for wanting to achieve this goal. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is the goal measurable? © Teach the Soul – 2007 131 . Your subconscious mind works best when the directions are very clear. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What will be the changes in your life as a result of achieving this goal? How is your life going to change as a result of setting and achieving this goal? Are you prepared to learn and grow? Are you comfortable with the changes you expect from achieving this goal? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is your goal a SMART goal? Is it specific? Is there any way for you to get more specific about the goal? Remember the more specific you are. the easier it will be to obtain.Remember your “why” must be strong enough to propel you to action when the going gets a little rough.
How will you know when you achieved the goal? Are there milestones along the way to measure your progress? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is it attainable? Your goal needs to stretch you from where you are now to where you want to be. make you learn more and try new and different things. having a goal to play professional basketball is probably unrealistic. _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ © Teach the Soul – 2007 132 . it should not be so far that you give up before you even start. Don’t set goals that are totally out of the realm of possibilities. _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ____ Is it realistic? You must make sure that the goal you have set is realistic for you. But while the goal should stretch you. Are there things in your physical make-up that make achieving the goal unrealistic? For example if you are under 5 feet tall.
etc. For example if you were looking to start your own business. pick a location to run your business. you also should have some time frames for achieving steps along the way. you would pick a market._____________________________________________________ _____ Time You must assign a time frame for achieving your goal. © Teach the Soul – 2007 133 . for a major goal there a number of smaller steps that need to be accomplished in order to achieve the goal. If there is no specific time frame. there are some intermediate steps to achieving each goal. While the goal might represent the arrival of a certain point in your life or career. see if you could identify a niche within that market. determine if you wanted or needed employees. While you need a specific time frame for achieving your goal. decide on a plan of operations. In short. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Plan of Action Now that you are totally confident that your goal qualifies as a SMART goal we are ready to design a plan of action. You need some deadlines to force you to take action. So the first step in achieving any major goal is to break it down into as many small steps as possible. you will not be propelled to action.
© Teach the Soul – 2007 134 . expert help. If you need additional steps. Remember the smaller the step. Next we will answer each of these questions for each step: What resources do I need to complete this step of my goal? Resources could be special knowledge. that is perfectly okay. money. or any other asset necessary to complete this step. the easier it should be to accomplish and the more confident you will be as you are making progress toward your goal. just make a separate worksheet with the additional steps. On the other hand you may find that there are not that many separate steps. If you find you want to break the goal down into more than 10 steps.Step one:________________________________________ Step two:________________________________________ Step three:_______________________________________ Step four:________________________________________ Step Five:________________________________________ Step Six:_________________________________________ Step Seven:______________________________________ Step Eight:_______________________________________ Step Nine:________________________________________ Step Ten:________________________________________ You may be able to break your goal down into more steps.
________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What results do I expect from the above actions? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ How will I measure the results of the actions to determine if they give me my expected outcome? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What actions will I take if the results are different from those that I expected? You may not be able to answer this because the different results might have a significant influence on the actions. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What actions do I need to take in order to complete this step of the goal? Is there a particular order to the actions I need to take? If so. guidance and help. list the actions in logical order.________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Where will I obtain the resources for this particular step? Be sure to list all the sources you can think of. you will need to make some adjustments. Do not limit this to just your sources. Ask others for assistance. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ © Teach the Soul – 2007 135 . Just realize that if your results are different than what you expect.
________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Who can I enlist as an accountability partner? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Am I willing to be held accountable? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ How will I inform my accountability partner of the steps to be accomplished and my work toward accomplishing the steps? © Teach the Soul – 2007 136 .What is the time allotted for completing this step? Is this time realistic? What happens if the time schedule slips? What can I do to make sure the time schedule does not slip or if it slips can I make up the time somewhere else? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What am I going to do today to move me along the path toward the achievement of this step? You need to repeat this question each and every day until this step of the plan is complete.
then you are worse off. weekly for others and even monthly for overall progress. But if your plan of action has you taking more action than you can handle and you lapse into inaction because of fear. Actually it will ultimately result in less work and a faster and more direct path to achieving your goals. So there is a trade off between recommending massive action and consistent action. But you must decide and have a structure. You will need to do all the steps anyway. Why not do them in a systematic fashion? If you do not set time deadlines and have some method to being held accountable. Your success will be determined on the amount of action you take. The very most important step is to take consistent action toward your goals. your time frame and your commitment to your goals has a real chance of slipping. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Your initial reaction might be that this is a lot of work. My suggestion is to start off with small but consistent action and gradually increase the amount of action you are taking. chances are you are trying to accomplish too much in too short a period of time. © Teach the Soul – 2007 137 . The more action you take.________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What time frame will we use to check my progress? This could be daily for some parts. If you struggle with fear. the quicker you will realize your goals.
I invite you to contact me for additional help. © Teach the Soul – 2007 138 . If you find you are following the action plan but getting stuck.The worksheet is general and is intended to cover most situations.
© Teach the Soul – 2007 139 .