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ENFP Comprehensive Personality Profile
ENFP Comprehensive Personality Profile
Martine J. RoBards, Ph.D. Michael A. RoBards, MSSW, CSW www.insightgame.org www.insightsystem.com
© RoBards Counseling & Consulting, Inc. 3533 Dayton Avenue Louisville, KY 40207 Phone 502.315.9061 • Fax 502.897.3544
T able of Contents
Introduction ENFP Profile NF Managerial Profile NF Employee Profile Loving Profile Introduction NF Loving Profile SJ & NF Loving Profile NF & NT Loving Profile NF & SP Loving Profile Origins & Caveats 4 10 23 34 41 45 52 59 65 72
© COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. RoBards, Ph.D.
The judging type begins to organize what is observed almost immediately: summarizing. or otherwise taking notice of the world around them. RoBards. The input process of becoming aware is called perception. Likewise. ideas and day-to-day occurrences. absorbing. 4 .Introduction Type-Temperament Theory divides humanity into sixteen types. The perceptive type is patient with gathering data about people. Ph. every day. simplifying or otherwise "pigeon-holing" reality into boxes built by previous experience. The output process of decision-making and reacting is called judging.D. perceptive people may have a hard time ever "getting to the bottom line" in making even routine decisions. We are information processors. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Do You Prefer Perception or Judgment? Perceptive types deal with their environment most comfortably when they are observing. all of us. People vary enormously in terms of how much they enjoy the perceptive process and how they prefer to perceive reality. and taking action. classifying. In their extremes. based on four pairs of interactive factors. determining what needs to be done. We live our lives by taking in data. all the time. people can be classified by how much they like making judgments and how they prefer to do so. The Insight Game first distinguishes perceptive types from judging types. Judging types deal with reality most easily when they are forming judgments or conclusions about what they perceive. while judging people may "jump the gun" and make up their minds about issues before enough information has been gathered to take an informed stand.
Ph. hearing. smell. Sensing people tend to rely on familiar tactics and past experience to guide their perception of new situations. While the sensing person perceives what is seen. They use their sight. we distinguish sensing from intuitive types by their preferred perceptive process. if their judgment is not developed. The tendency to have a clear preference for one attitude over the other is both natural and adaptive. First of all.D. They live in the here and now and like the neighborhood. The ideally balanced person has an adaptive mixture of perception and judgment: perception to give awareness and judgment to form opinions. if their perception is not developed. It defines one important aspect of your personality type. 5 . since perception must precede judgment. It is apparent by now that no one could really be all perceptive. People who rely on sensory information to guide their awareness of the world are often described as realists. Are Your Perceptions Based on Sensory or Intuitive Information About the World? All of us perceive reality in two stages. and take action at the appropriate time. and then we process the sensory data using our intuition. Judging types can be stubborn and reactive. taste and touch to tell them about life. and judgment does eventually follow perception. we use our sensing ability. People may be divided processes they prefer to use. Thus. Intuitive people see life more in terms of imaginative possibility than practical reality. or all judging. develop attitudes. RoBards. They search for meaning. but--with most people--one process does tend to predominate. They revel in © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. They are keen observers and proud of it.Perceptive types can be wishy-washy. the intuitive person forms perceptions by combining what is seen with ideas and associations from imagination and memory. They look to the future.
adaptive to have a clear-cut preference for which function you use. Those who prefer to use their feelings turn to their inner system of values to direct their actions. but you probably wouldn't knowingly pick one to be your bookkeeper. Sensors make good reporters but poor poets. Ph. Do You Make Judgments on the Basis of Thinking or Feeling? After the perceptions of any life situation have been formed by sensing and intuition. all people apply two processes in series. Those who are most comfortable using their thinking process trust rational analysis and impersonal logic to guide their decision-making. draw conclusions. Again. and there's good reason to believe that it's healthy. At their personality extremes. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. To form judgments. Intuitives may well be mathematical geniuses.images. That's what we mean by judging. while intuitive people may seem to have no sense of reality. The tendency to choose one process over the other identifies your preferred judging process. But we don't rely on those processes in equal measure. theory and speculation. and take action. normal. we think. we tabulate the results. Their view of reality is guided and shaped by their unconscious.D. They prefer indirect routes of perception. Then we use feeling. while the latter may seem to fly through the air and never touch down. But most of us most of us favor one process more than the other. sensing-type people may seem rather lackluster and unimaginative. all of us need and use both sensing and intuitive processing to form perceptions. The former may appear to have feet planted too firmly on the ground. At least most of us don't. RoBards. ideas. First. They try out new ways of interpreting things. And that preference is an important part of your personality type. They are experimenters. 6 .
the extravert relies on encouragement. Those who prefer their extraverted self see people and things as the real stuff of life. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Compassion may seem lacking. The feeling-type person may appear to be irrational. By comparison. deny it. and almost childlike in naivete. while the introvert yearns for peace and privacy or for association with a small intimate circle of friends. The introvert is far more shy. More often than not. the extravert. The extravert yearns for contact with a variety of people. while the introvert deals with ideas as the best reality. Our extraverted self is the one the world sees. it appears that some introverts must understand life before living it. the extravert is involved. 7 . In the extreme case. unleashing pent-up emotion in what may become an explosive eruption. cork it tightly into little flasks. hide it. fearless. while the extravert may talk without thinking. cautious and deliberate. while the introvert contemplates. introverted. while the introvert is detached and reserved. vocal. the introvert is self-motivated. ignoring the facts of a situation to decide "with the heart. contemplative.D. Our introvert is silent.The thinking-type person. When dealing with people on a wholesale basis. Outgoing. self-reinforcing. The extravert learns by doing. The extravert's emotions are accessible. Ph. The introvert tends to bottle emotion. using experience as a laboratory in life. frequently vented. The extravert talks. the introvert may think without talking. support and acceptance from others. More so than the introvert. Are You an Extravert or an Introvert? Each of us has an inner self--quiet. RoBards. in the extreme case. the extravert tends to try the unknown first and ask questions afterwards." regardless of the outcome. obvious to all around. may seem hard-hearted and mechanical in day-to-day affairs. until--crossing some threshold unannounced to the world-the cork blows.
Nonetheless. so are introverts. composing sixteen basic personality types. Confusing? You bet it's confusing! But. then the preferred judging process--either thinking or feeling-will be the hallmark of the outward personality. thus. Ph. A wise psychologist once pointed out that most of us have a hard time remembering any combination of things over the "magic number seven. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Remember. relies on sensing or intuition as the preferred perceptive process. sensing or intuition (S/N). But.The extravert's personality is directed outwards. thinking or feeling (T/F). with the introvert. to the introvert. Likewise. but the inner preferred perceptive process will be the key to understanding the individual's personality--and it will be out of sight. the thinking/feeling process will characterize the outward personality. After all. If the introvert is a judging person. every aspect of the extravert's behavior will reflect those personality tendencies. they make up one fourth of the population! A Simplified Approach to Insight So the four factors are introversion or extraversion (I/E). if the extravert is a perceptive person and. The face the world sees is an accurate reflection of the extravert's "real self. then. it's well worth the time you invest to understand their complexity." If the extravert is a judging person. RoBards.D. for they must have some extraversion in order to survive in the physical world of people and things. By the same token. either thinking or feeling which is the real key to their personality--their dominant process--and it's underground." So. to function in society. 8 . it is their preferred judging process. and perception or judging (P/J)--and all of them interact. Whether you are an introvert or love an introvert or work with an introvert. what you see is not what you get. the introverted perceptive will organize his or her outer personality using the sensory or intuitive process. the world "out there" is not where their best reality lies.
For intuitives. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. serious and responsible. has made an important contribution to this system: simplicity! Keirsey has suggested that four temperamental "cornerstones" are all you need to understand as a beginning to mastering the sixteen types. a California psychologist. competent and theoretical. David Keirsey. 9 . spiritual and communicative.it's not surprising that a personality theory involving sixteen types is a little difficult to understand and use well. we've related personality type differences to his four categories. spontaneous and game-playing. the perceptive-judging difference is less critical than that between feeling and thinking. Ph.D. We've called the combination of sensing and perception (SP) the REALIST. The REALIST is physical. The ANALYST is logical. For sensors. in Keirsey's convenient shorthand. sensing and judging (SJ) the LEGALIST. RoBards. and intuition and thinking (NT) the ANALYST. Keirsey's scheme identifies two key groups of sensors and two of intuitives. At the heart of Keirsey's work is the important observation that sensors and intuitives are the most different of all the pairs. intuition and feeling (NF) the EMPATHIST. The EMPATHIST is warm. Dr. So. the greatest differences appear between those who are perceptive and those who prefer judging. The LEGALIST is conservative. So.
but you have a hard time finishing! More than once. You are an enthusiastic explorer of a world where the horizon is the only focus of interest. Introverted sensing and extraverted thinking are your least developed functions. Who could be the subject but someone like you? You live continually in the realm of the possible. and you have the ability to be a guru for many others who lack your talent and perseverance and personal drive. you've reached that point of lost love for a project and have artfully handed it to a colleague or associate to be completed. you discover over and over again that your goal loses its attractiveness just as soon as it falls within your grasp—or as soon as its pursuit degenerates to hum-drum routine. imagination. and when you're absorbed in your latest project you can think of little else. You are virtually tireless in the pursuit of your latest goal—as long as your interest in the project holds. That commitment and self-confidence you radiate is infectious. Let's take a look at what this combination of characteristics means in the day-to-day reality of being you. Your dominant process is extraverted intuition. Your energy level is sometimes exhausting to behold.D. and your interest wanes. You're a great starter. When the end's in sight. it's a real struggle for you to muster enough self-discipline to see the task through to its completion. individualism. new ideas. innovation. anyway. ENFP You Are an Extraverted Intuitive Invention. You rarely are at a loss for devoted followers. RoBards. instigation. and new projects. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Your auxiliary function is introverted feeling. 10 . feeling and perceptive. ingenuity. inspiration. Ph. intuitive. insight and intellect.You are extraverted. In your search for new experiences. initiative.
Feeling dominates your inner world of thoughts and ideas. intuition and perception arms you well to be a leader. the attention to detail of the sensing type. You do not mean to be fickle. You are a collector of people. Ph. you meet people quite easily. and you are much more selfdisclosing than most at the early stage of a relationship. but you have a tendency to move from one person to another. and it interacts with your extraverted side to give you the unique temperament you show. and to appreciate their unique qualities without judging or criticizing. You have a natural ability to understand others. RoBards. you know people almost instantly as deeply as you'll ever know them. sentiment. from time to time. 11 .Your combination of extraversion. On the other hand. and it wins you many friends. with the same ease that moves you from one grand cause to the next.D. or from one group to another. you may find yourself frittering away your brilliance and impulsive energy on poorly thought-out projects or ones which never manage to reach successful completion. with intuition as your dominant personality process. Your Auxiliary Process You are a perceptive person. You tackle an amazing variety of problems with ease. You tire of people as easily as you tire of projects. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Your sense of judgment is guided by feeling. and the ability to make decisions and complete unpleasant tasks that characterizes the judging personality. You may be accused of shallowness in your relationships. That represents your non-dominant or auxiliary process. On the one hand. and the diversity of your interests is mirrored by the diversity of your friends. to figure out what motivates them. Diversity is the universal key to happiness in your life. Unless you make a concerted effort to develop your less-favored psychological processes: insight that comes with the reflection of the introvert. That kind of open acceptance is seductive.
to be an authentic person. but to be accepted as your true self—without facade or pretense. to be in touch with yourself and. and you easily accommodate the satisfaction of others' needs into the accomplishment of your goals. You may be come highly self-critical for failing to achieve the personal authenticity you strive for. Ph. the result is a temperament we call the EMPATHIST: the very cornerstone of your personality. You focus much of your energy on the knowledge and perfection of self—to identify your goals. appreciation and support to all your friends. and when those inclinations are found in an extraverted perceptive. significant contact between people is attainable. you may become hurt and disillusioned. When you are struck by the frustration of personal relationships. Believing that intimate. you reach out actively. to be capable of really touching others. Of all the sixteen personality types. all the makings of effective leadership are present. relationships and communication form a central focus in your life. the admiration you receive from your daily interactions with them. to build meaningful relationships. RoBards. The most persuasive writers are intuitive-feeling sorts. the truth-seeker. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. understanding. You are sensitive and optimistic when you enter a new relationship. Intuition plus feeling fires the idealist. fire you to the highest level of your personal achievement. And then you may get down on yourself for being egocentric and self-conscious! Give yourself a break! You are among the most sensitive and responsive of personalities. You provide a rare gift of insight. 12 . yours is the most enthusiastic and infectious! Your relationships with others. When intuition and feeling combine.You are actively sensitive to others. invest a great amount of time and concern in others. Take the time to bask in the glow of your own amazing qualities! In general. and you often become disappointed when they do not respond with an equal measure of caring and enthusiasm.D. It is important to the EMPATHIST not merely to be accepted by others. therefore.
life. of being on the brink of a great discovery about people. significant. and you trust that intuition about "unknowables.D. too. Your intuition gathers together information from the real world and mixes it with your imagination to synthesize a unique view of reality. 13 . life is a never-ending drama. Extraversion makes it natural for you to reach out. you know from experience that your hunches often are correct. For people like yourself. RoBards. Sometimes you can communicate your vision so well that less creative souls can share it. persuade. Intuition helps you abstract and conceptualize the climate of thought and express it effectively. make the human connection. understand or accept as valid. Any time you find yourself trying to deal creatively. and you're willing to rely on them—whereas other personality types." You can predict the outcomes of interactions on the basis of hunches. You intuit good and evil. helps you to be truly open and accepting with others—a good listener. You are capable of keeping life new and fresh. You have the feeling. From their perspective. a great appreciator. The intuitive-feeling person reflexively draws knowledge from sources which the various sensing and thinking types cannot recognize. or even cooperatively. sell. and your infectious enthusiasm communicates your sense of the possible to those lucky enough to work at your side—or in your shadow. Maybe more importantly. talk. with these foreign personality types.The combination of feeling and perception puts you in touch with others' needs. You just know things. you deal with almost metaphysical sources of information. much less yours! © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Ph. aren't willing to trust their own best instincts. You tap sources of stimulation and insight from all around. you can expect there to be serious difficulties with communication. and that is a rare gift—whatever your professional calling. What less creative souls may see as mundane occurrences often strike you as meaningful. often. just in the course of your day-to-day living. more here-andnow version of reality. and that drives them around the bend and up the wall. solidly and stolidly grounded in a less imaginative.
When you turn your combination of intuition and feeling to the negative side of observation: being hypersensitive. in comparison with the panorama you perceive. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Empathy. and you can get yourself into a lot of trouble. sensuality. 14 . and sexuality use similar cues. you need to recognize that other well-meaning people can become confused by your earnest style of interaction. threats. You write well. your greatest triumphs of persuasion may be scored at the level of non-verbal communication. Especially if you are already predisposed to see a problem with another person. You know it. and—as an extravert—you may find that you talk even better! But. You'll have to remember. always. and insightful "people-person. It's both seductive and influential. Pitch them on your ideas at their level of facts. People can feel the conscious and unconscious energy you exert to "be there" emotionally when you are interacting. effective.D. It shows through your effective use of facial expression. You have the ability to enlist the support of less creative types because you are such an outgoing. you may tend to perceive only what you already believe and disbelieve contradictory information. and body language. RoBards. beyond your written and spoken verbal skills. logic. to be on guard for misinterpretation by others of your outgoing interpersonal energy. data. you can often bring these people around to your point of view. and hyper-alert in looking for problems. and you enjoy the effect you have on others' lives. It's hard for your established belief systems to be shaken. You have an enormous impact on other people. Ph. dollars-and-cents. insults and injuries. You are attractive—magnetic—in the most literal sense. you may imagine slights. and conflicts. You radiate intensity and focused attention. directed gaze." You are the consummate communicator.Surprisingly. and since 95% of the population has a different personality style than yours. because you accept as certainty so many unverifiable sources of information (the same trait that underlies your creative genius!). if you're willing to marshal all that intuitive insight to understanding how constricted their visual field is. hypercritical. and you may succeed. practicality and pay-off.
From time to time. independent soul. Ph. ironically. your perceptions—your account of what happened. You're used to having your unusual perspective of reality ignored. and you can do without their wet blankets. again). so you probably have learned to stay away from the bulk of humanity. It's understandable for people like you to surround themselves with like minds and to learn to ignore criticism. Conformity isn't your long suit. you'd never get any of your great ideas off the drawing board. it may abandon you! You may find yourself to be prone to a unique sort of brooding suspiciousness when it comes to deeply held beliefs about people (the good-evil reality. It's merely the back-side of that intuitivefeeling strength that makes you so insightful and effective under different circumstances. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. as much as to the good side and good work of those I see as enemies. but the conclusions you draw may be off-base. when. RoBards. write a note to yourself and put it in a desk drawer for future reference: "When it comes to issues in which I have a large emotional investment.D. and you believe in yourself when no one else does. and where—may be quite accurate. You're an optimistic. criticized or misunderstood by the bulk of humanity. Neither is obedience. when you most need that perceptive openness to help you amend and revise your vision in the direction of objective reality. but many with your personality often find themselves on the horns of a chronic sensing-thinking deficit. If you listened to everything people said. You're your own person. If this is a problem for you." You may have already dealt effectively with this snag in your life. I tend to emphasize the data that confirm my prejudices and discredit information opposing my concepts. or it may not have been a particular difficulty for you. 15 . That pattern can blind me to the faults of friends and of friends' pet ideas. There's certainly no shame in it. The trick is to balance that necessary independence with a reality-testing mechanism. And it's pretty hard to awe you with sterile rank and titles. The bulk of humanity rains on the parades of folks like yourself. Then.
I'm lovable." Learn to ask for what you need emotionally from other family members to help you navigate through your ups and downs with as smooth sailing as possible. outgoing. both as a mate and as a parent. Mood swings are a natural companion of your creativity. and conservative financial planning—except occasionally. and creative. sensing aides to give you the benefit of another viewpoint from time to time. thinking. It's not that you really want to dominate others. You will be wise to deal openly with your loved ones about your temperamental nature. you may be able to devise some effective and creative tactics to advise those around you about your changing emotional state. How about a half-comic barometer with a movable indicator needle you set when you arrive home? Consider a range from: "I've had an awful day and I need a hour of peace and quiet. Next. you may find it helpful to keep around some folks who complement your personality: some judging." to "All's quiet on the western front. Together. In a loving relationship. you may turn around and buy something extravagant—usually something you conceive of as a gift for your mate or children. Life with you can be a roller-coaster at times. You aren't terribly conscious of economy. when you initiate one of your campaigns. your life. but you may be a bit unpredictable.D. Then. sympathetic. Ph. RoBards. Anyone who expects to control you better be a diplomat or make it a practice to wear kid gloves. but you seek selfdetermination aggressively. The Extraverted Intuitive in the World of Work © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. and your home.As a general rule. and it causes you concern when you are at the root of conflict. look out! You really like feeling in charge of yourself. and they will affect your intimate life now and then—maybe all the time. Harmony matters to you in your home. Then you may get very frugal for a while. thrift. especially if your mate is trying to exercise some kind of unwanted control over your behavior. 16 . your personality is sensitive.
You may wish to consider ways to capitalize on this asset to further your career. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. If the nature of the work itself is slow. While few people enjoy being a "small cog in the great wheel. keeping track of facts and figures! You'll do better to target yourself toward work that involves the big picture. not details. and you communicate well. or if it involves long-term projects. In tasks that require quick decisions and quick action. Depending on the job circumstances. particularly without thinking things through completely before you move. This characteristic arms you well to be a discoverer. that's a mixed blessing. your personality type is especially distressed by losing touch with the over-all impact of your work. You are an intuitive person. but you must constantly be on guard not to act too quickly." passively performing some minor function that is swallowed up by a large complex operation. on bold concepts. your efficiency may suffer. you're supreme. otherwise. Your interest is in new ideas. All other things being equal.D. not precise facts. and in comparing how other people tackle the same chore. always scanning the horizon for the possibilities in any situation.In the world of work you'll find that your extraversion will arm you well to deal with both variety and action. But. Your outgoing personality prefers working with human companionship. You're comfortable with words. Communication comes more easily to you than to your introverted associates. rather than keeping your eyes on the road ahead. RoBards. watch out when life forces you to work at a job that makes no demand on your intuition! Worse yet is one which forces you to make use of your relatively undeveloped sensing side—making observations. a visionary. You are interested in the results of your job. Ph. so you may wish to think long and hard before accepting a job or work assignment which forces you to work in isolation. you'll tend to work faster than your introverted co-workers. you may need to devise a few tricks to ward off boredom. new theories. and you muster a great deal of patience and energy when it comes to tackling new problems in life. 17 . in getting it finished.
18 . and you may as well accept it without embarrassment. by the insidious dark side of the intuitive enthusiasm: boredom. While you may find this difficult—since intuitive people usually prefer the company of other like-minded souls—you will probably find their counsel valuable. you wake up. and you know you've been stricken. A new task at hand? A new technique or skill to master? No problem for you. once again. An intuitive person with a sensory-type sidekick may achieve more than the intuitive alone. while your frazzled co-workers sigh with relief. When you're inspired. then maybe you can find an em- © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. just as a matter of personality. If you accept it. are in their glory when the work is challenging and novel. Ph. And if you can't modify your behavior. Intuitive workers. and. That's part of your style. Then things settle down. You will find the time to tackle the most difficult problem and unravel the most complicated situation. grace. You try to fight it. such as yourself. RoBards. staring blankly at the ceiling. once you understand it as the natural "flip-side" of the part of you you love best. Your energy's gone. since facts and details will not be overlooked along the way.You'll be wise always to surround yourself with a couple of practical sorts: people who look at things with their sensory capacity. with the same pride you hang on your problem-solving. up and down. and professionalism. sure as death. you realize you've fallen into one of your slack periods. Then. but the fact is: you know you don't want to go to work. and you deny it to your friends and enemies alike. You run hot and cold. You stifle a yawn. you fire up your furnaces and work with a level of energy and exuberance that staggers the imagination of your sensing-type co-workers.established as soon as possible. acknowledge it. While you yearn for the next crisis. high-energy characteristics. you may learn to temper those down-swings and pull out of them with a bit more style. one morning. once again.D. they make no effort to disguise their earnest hope that routine (blessed routine) is re. your spirit's flat.
You know. your habit of not paying enough attention to precision. Otherwise. you may be regarded as a flighty nuisance: a judgment which shouldn't get you depressed. Of course. revising when it isn't necessary. just because you're enlightened enough to appreciate both the "bright" and "dark " sides of your personality. has no trouble shifting gears from one assignment to another. Your perceptive side is open: patient to changing situations. Your perceptive quality ensures that you have the ability to be curious. one technique to the next. even open hostility. You know the parts I mean: your tendency to hop from humch to hunch. or those co-workers. Much of what you start may never reach completion. or that employer. you'll be valued for the glittering bundle of intuition you provide as a spark to the humdrum of everyday work life. Many of these self-started activities may wind up in a desk drawer. The perceptive in you likes diversity in work. open. now that you know its origin. first postponed. patient when a task requires repeated revisions. If and when you find that job. or your inclination to worry too little about completing projects or checking your work to be free from errors of fact. 19 . You're a master of the delicate art of postponement. that doesn't necessarily mean that the rest of the world will share your open acceptance. you may find that you tend to keep topics open excessively long. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. your perceptive side has a tendency to start too many changes without being asked. On the other hand. and enough stable.ployer who understands your cyclic nature. There will be times when you will have to face rejection.D. coming to a decision is almost painful to you. just so long as the work doesn't require a lot of decision-making. willing to hear all sides of an issue before deciding on a course of action. then forgotten. Ph. wellgrounded co-workers to cover those other segments of your personality that haunt you in the work place. in order to remain your own best friend. RoBards.
you may often have to battle your tendency to be tactful when the unvarnished truth is needed. You value sentiment over logic.As a perceptive.D. try to weed out the judgmental indignation and see if your occasional critics might not have something worth considering. You need harmony to work happily and well. long after an issue should have been closed and settled. Your feeling side can make it difficult to be a supervisor. Even in situations which threaten your sentimental nature less directly. and suggest that you're basically gullible to everyone's inputs. In an effort to get along with others. in the work place. You are very sensitive to other people's feelings and needs. and you try to avoid being the bearer of bad news or criticism. Ph. you may let your decisions be swayed by the group spirit. Reprimanding an employee you like is painful. Let that perceptive openness lead you to personal revision when it's in your own best interests. Your working ability— attitude as well as efficiency—can be crippled by an obvious office feud. you know that there are both positive and negative aspects correlated with every personality feature. You are so keenly aware of others' feelings that the ordinary politics of most business endeavors causes you anguish and concern. and the prospect of firing someone. lend a sympathetic ear to their problems. you may lack patience with judging sorts when they jump to conclusions. RoBards. Your need for acceptance may nudge you into acquiescence when your independent judgment is called for. would be extremely difficult for you. You care too much about being well liked and respected to be objective and impersonal in appraising others' performance on the job. After all. as in all other aspects of your life. and you are no exception. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Try to calm down when you hear those comments. point an accusing finger at your indecisive nature (which you generally deny or explain away!). or by personal considerations which might better be ignored in the interests of impartiality. without respect for the personal consequences to the employee's family. 20 . You praise others' accomplishments.
too. It's all right to take a whack at a big organization and come away a bit bruised. RoBards. chains of command and such-like. You'll be interested in people. those of your personality type succeed. and you'll tend to ignore rules. especially if your intuition is given free reign. screen or play writing? Your empathetic tendencies will be well applied in character acting. That's why people with your personality are often award-winning sales people! Look out if life corners you into some bureaucratic institution. perception and intuition—is a magic package of personality when applied in a number of skilled professions. they achieve their highest marks. and— whether your official career is that of an actor—there'll be more than a touch of the actor in all you undertake. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. In teaching. Institutions need people like you. How about public relations and advertising. You aren't likely to survive very long or very happily. Any work which allows your communication skills to be exercised will be a good choice for you.D. political writing. In counseling. even if they won't tolerate your presence very long. all writing fields and the creative arts. They are in their element. partly because the work satisfies them so totally. and it may leave you personally scarred and disillusioned. Ph. The institution may be licking its wounds.******** Your skill in handling people—coupled with your extraversion. institution-fighting. Life needs people like you. Chances are decent you'll blow yourself right out of a job by getting into a fight about human factors or protection of the underdog! Your meteoric career in a big organization may leave behind you a vapor trail of humanitarian changes you brought about at the cost of your own employment. people-policy-making. procedures. 21 .
D. or for one which puts you in the companionship of other creative.In the long run. you'll be wise to opt for a career which offers you control over your work. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. like-minded souls who also detest structure for its own sake and admire ideas for their intrinsic worth. Ph. RoBards. 22 .
NF Managerial Profile
As an intuitive-feeling leader, you are first, last and in-between a peopleperson. You are client-centered, end-user centered, and it is important to you that you interpret your work mission as serving some basic human need. You focus on the possibilities of the people and organizations in your realm of personal influence. You encourage your associates and subordinates to strive for their highest levels of personal achievement. Self-actualization is a goal you recognize both for yourself and others. As a leader, your style is best characterized as catalytic, and you are never surprised to find yourself slipping into the role of a charismatic guru for your associates and subordinates. You make an effort to represent yourself, your colleagues and your organization effectively, and you may often find yourself at the forefront, serving as the group leader or spokesperson. Extraverted EMPATHISTs, in particular, function well in such a high-visibility position. You have the potential to excel in public relations, and your personal warmth and enthusiasm are natural "selling" techniques for any service or product. Your exceptional communication skills will stand out in any management position. Of all the temperaments, EMPATHISTs seem to be the best creative writers, and they often have excellent skills in public speaking or drama. You use reinforcement as a powerful tool in dealing with others. You communicate enthusiasm and support as a routine matter in your everyday working interactions. You are such a conscientious appreciator and admirer because you need the same thing back from others: superiors and subordinates alike. If you work with thinking types, there's no need to tell you that—even at their peak effort to reinforce your accomplishments—they often miss the mark.
© COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. RoBards, Ph.D.
They may acknowledge your achievements, your intuition, and your skill, but they don't really know how to acknowledge you as an individual, and that's what pushes your buttons! Being dealt with personally is essential for you. Lack of appreciation for your unique qualities is discouraging to you, and criticism is difficult for you to take at anything other than a personal level. You will always need to be on guard for one of the most destructive snares for intuitive-feeling managers: feeling unappreciated, undervalued, and taken for granted. That's how folks like you often "burn out"! You will need to strive to understand that thinking-type people (of all the other temperament types) simply do not share your intense value system. To the extent that you can, you'll be smart to develop your skills at selfreinforcement and try to seek out support systems from outside sources (mates and friends), when the appreciation you need isn't forthcoming from your superiors and colleagues at work. As a general rule, judging-type EMPATHISTs seem to survive more happily and productively in a bureaucratic structure than their perceptive-type counterparts. The judging characteristic imparts a bit more acceptance of structure and hierarchy than other EMPATHISTs can muster. But even those folks are happiest in small, creative organizations, where individual needs and aspirations receive continuing attention. In a large impersonal outfit, sensitive people like yourself may experience continual distress. Alas, the ideal may not be a realistic objective for you right now, so let's look at some of the typical problems which confront the EMPATHIST midlevel manager in a typical, large, impersonal organization. First, the personal approach of the EMPATHIST often translates into playing favorites in the business environment: a characteristic which critics, above or below on the hierarchy, may interpret as unprofessional partiality and irrational management.
© COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. RoBards, Ph.D.
Especially if you're a perceptive EMPATHIST (whose favorites may shift up and down and back and forth, from time to time, as your moods and emotional preferences change), your detractors will be quick to label you as fickle, unstable, unpredictable and lacking in fidelity. (Needless to say, you can't survive many appraisals of that sort on your performance reviews if you hope to be a rising star in your organization or career field!) At heart, you're a giver. For those in your favor, you are the definition of sympathy, self-sacrifice and generosity— so much so that you may compromise the business relationship for the sake of friendship. Understandably, it's difficult for EMPATHISTs to relate to others merely as roles, job descriptions, or names in boxes on organizational flow charts. To you, people are people, and you tend to relate to others at a personal level. But, in a bureaucratic organization, that tendency can lead to managerial problems, whether you're dealing "up" or "down" the chain of command. For example, when you like your boss and your work assignment, you may see the tasks you perform as a personal service or a favor. Dawns the day you're assigned a task you don't want to do, or comes the time when you and your superior have a serious disagreement, you may find it virtually impossible just to follow orders and get the job done. In the other direction on the hierarchy—when you are wearing the management hat—you may find it distressing to deal with insubordination as anything but a personal affront, insult or rejection. In the kind of bureaucratic battles that plague most large organizations from time to time, the EMPATHIST's reflexive inclination is to support the underdog: another tendency which can lead to problems for you as a manager. First of all, your time and energy may be eroded by your kindness, generosity, and compassion. You may find yourself spending large chunks of your working day counseling dissident workers in your office or letting employees cry on your shoulder in the hall. Then, your idealism may fire you up to go explain or represent minority concerns to the higher-ups, thereby identifying yourself with the institution's
© COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. RoBards, Ph.D.
D. since. And as an EMPATHIST who trusts intuition and feeling so totally. Effective management sometimes demands taking unpopular positions.key criticism as hostility. 26 . telling tales out of meetings. involving: villainizing management. and criticizing others at a personal level. you may read personal rejection into interactions when it simply isn't there. and low. or disliked without taking it personally. if your subordinates don't think you're wonderful. If your superior lacks your sense of tact and sensitivity. with the end result of getting people disciplined or dismissed. Especially if you're working in a typical professional environment. disagreed with. with the majority of managers belonging to the various (insensitive) thinking-types. as an EMPATHIST. directors. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. it's hard to deal with being ignored.lasting credibility problems with superiors may emerge from such well-intentioned confrontations. RoBards. Here's a more common one. and management. and their negative reactions are doubly painful to you. you may draw fire from the organization for such misplaced idealism. you take it all personally. By the same token. you may unwittingly encourage and enlarge the uprising. Ph. This is a typical EMPATHIST tragedy in a bureaucratic organization. No matter how noble or just the cause. you may hear constructive suggestions as attacks. As an EMPATHIST. A final ironic outcome of these battles often occurs: by sympathizing with the insurrection's leaders. you may slip into a particularly hazardous form of EMPATHIST selfdefense and hypersensitivity. campaigning for sympathy and support. you may get your feelings hurt. Long.critics and opposing the vested interests of owners. Extraverted empathists seem especially prone to slipping into such behavior patterns—ones that are not taken lightly or positively by most organizations.
together with their interpersonal skill and sensitivity. You recognize the importance of side-stepping conflict. you may sometimes draw criticism or dirty looks for getting the discussion off on what thinking-types see as "unrelated issues.D. natural verbal ability. Esprit de corps. sensitivity and cooperation are important factors which you promote and encourage. hidden fears and concerns. you are sensitive to the importance of the personal element in all aspects of the working environment. Their outgoing nature. EMPATHISTs typically feel a strong need to have an input into any decision that will affect any aspect of their life and work. you favor democratic decision-making. Especially if you're a perceptive-type EMPATHIST. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. regulations or procedures which will require your cooperation. EMPATHISTs are better able than other personality types to understand unstated sentiments. you may feel suffocated in meetings with a firm agenda. encouraging involvement of all group members. 27 . nuances of feelings. indeed. instinctive comfort with agendas and productive structure. and you are comfortable with brainstorming or otherwise unstructured discussions. help them create person-centered groups that accomplish their intended goals. meetings. and protecting vulnerable members from exclusion or hostility. the EMPATHIST is great at monitoring participation. enthusiasm. and then forecast the human consequences of new schedules. be a pleasure if human needs receive conscientious attention. task forces or other teamwork ventures.In meetings. As useful as these efforts may be to the spirit of the meeting and the cohesiveness of the group. It seems natural to the EMPATHIST to include some personal remarks in meetings: introductions and small talk to warm up the participants. ideas. Ph. and any organization that employs you had better remember to ask your opinion before initiating any rules. RoBards. In committees. Extraverted and judging-type EMPATHISTs may become excellent group leaders. supporting the expression of differences of opinion while down-playing conflict. As an EMPATHIST. programs and policies. and you communicate the belief that work can." When your natural abilities as a group facilitator are supported. especially if an authoritarian leadership style prevails.
RoBards. or when the only problems remaining are what seems to be an endless progression of small. yawn your way through a slack period of abbreviated work days and occasional sick-outs. tedious jobs. 28 . you're the image of energy and focused concentration. When you're dealing in your favorite world of the possible. but often a disadvantage when their private lives periodically interfere with your ability to function professionally and dispassionately. phone calls you don't want to return. imposed upon and irritable. creative fabrications explaining how correspondence you didn't answer somehow disappeared in the mail. You have a tendency to foster close interpersonal relationships with your staff—a boon to knowing their likes and dislikes. you'll half-heartedly continue. and lackadaisical trouble-shooting. As a manager. Otherwise. you may pass the remaining tasks on to someone else.You're an influential person. ups and downs. inattentive supervision. you may begin to feel bored. Perceptive-type EMPATHIST managers often experience these problems in spades! © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. claustrophobic. But. small problems that turn into big ones because of neglectful planning. and don't. and any job that curtails your autonomy. Any work that is boring or hum-drum. and—as soon as possible— take off on a new idea—or a new cause—or a new romance. tackling a new project. If you can.D. Ph. that tendency can lead to real problems: jobs that stay halffinished for longer than you'd like to acknowledge. working on a idea. creating a new plan. and you have the ability to facilitate changes or sabotage them! You tend to be sociable and well-liked by those who work for and with you—closely attuned to people's feelings in the day-to-day interactions within a hierarchy. will quickly do you in. when the inevitable routine sets in.
Ph. introverted EMPATHISTs are usually steadier workers. and they tend to devalue employees who strike them as cold or uncaring. And. The EMPATHIST manager who places EMPATHIST employees in positions like these has two problems: the jobs won't be done well. appreciative folks around themselves. Even perceptive EMPATHIST's may show only one or two of these symptoms. In a nutshell. sensing-types for jobs demanding patience and careful attention to detail. you may need to monitor this tendency in yourself.To be sure. As a manager. Frankly. or unconscious way of conducting their interpersonal relationships. And. coldness. EMPATHIST managers reflexively give their employees the kind of treatment EMPATHISTs crave themselves.D. and can benefit from a careful analysis of their management style. EMPATHISTs. and he or she may provide a heartfelt analysis of others' callousness. if it's ever been a problem for you. Give an extraverted and judging EMPATHIST an invitation. In turn. therein lie most of the EMPATHIST manager's problems! EMPATHISTs universally pride themselves on their warmth and interpersonal sensitivity: their reflexive insight into human relations. like all other personality temperaments. 29 . Judging EMPATHISTs rarely become so totally afflicted by the EMPATHIST manager's NF ("never-finished") syndrome. RoBards. and the employees won't be happy. EMPATHISTs tend to regard all of the other personality types as rather insensitive. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. EMPATHIST managers often hire other EMPATHISTs for positions which might better be filled by other types: thinking-types for jobs requiring dispassionate analysis and insightful theorizing about systems. look for their own characteristics in their subordinates. the picture we've just painted is an extreme composite of the intuitive-feeler's darker side. They like other supportive. Nonetheless. EMPATHIST managers do have some problems. in either case.
RoBards. Ph. interpersonal relations and self-actualization. communication. But the training program should make use of the fact that ANALYSTs prefer to learn by reading. 30 . unless some kind of hands-on. The effect may be to leave them feeling vulnerable. philosophy. teamwork. watching films.Most EMPATHIST managers love acquiring new knowledge and learning new skills in the area of aesthetics. that's great! They'll love it. Expect a higher-thannormal level of "illness" or other absenteeism among your ANALYST employees on the day or days the training is to occur. the EMPATHIST manager may battle with the organization to reward favored employees with personal growth training experiences. not stimulating.D. Assuming that everyone shares this EMPATHIST characteristic. psychology. especially the thinking varieties. Arranging effective human factors training for most intuitive-thinkers is extremely important. And most (SJ)LEGALISTs may regard unnecessary training of any sort as a nuisance: a frivolous interruption of the comfortable rhythm of work—unsettling. and listening to lectures. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. But what about the other types? Unless some kind of theory development or technical skill acquisition are involved. and they'll return to their tasks with renewed energy and identity with the company and their fellow workers. Any training exercise which obliges them to learn by potentially emotional interactions forces them to deal with one of their weakest psychological functions: feeling. Sensing-types. training or schooling of any kind is fundamentally boring. will be hard to convince that the training has anything to offer them. practical skill development is involved. They may talk about transforming experiences. For most (SP)REALISTs. Don't misunderstand. many (NT)ANALYSTs will not be enthused by an "opportunity" to attend a "touchy-feely" seminar or group process. For EMPATHIST employees. sensitivity. eye-opening insights. exposed and embarrassed when they return to the work environment. and unconditional love for their fellow man.
This "no rules-no regs" life is. They may feel insulted and become impatient if given what they regard as too many rules and too much guidance and direction. year in and year out. they have a hard time understanding how anyone can tolerate a repetitious job. EMPATHIST managers are self-starters who dislike intensely being told how and when to do anything. Not surprisingly. reliability. this particular blind spot may be the EMPATHIST manager's most serious problem in most work situations. This is only one of the many ways in which the EMPATHIST manager displays the darker stripes of the intuitive: intolerant and unappreciative of the preferences of sensing employees. drives an EMPATHIST manager around the bend! EMPATHISTs do not seem to realize that sensing types actually enjoy the predictability of a familiar task and derive peace and comfort from perfecting their skills through practice and repetition. work operations requiring steadiness. authoritarian power structures tend to threaten your potent need for selfdetermination. the EMPA- © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. a real gift to like-minded intuitives. in fact. If you're like most EMPATHISTs. especially perceptive-type-ones.D. To see someone do the same job. the same way. schedules. again. and match them to sensing-type jobs. They want to set their own schedules and do things their own way. then. Moreover. craftsmanship and precision may suffer—along with the manager's reputation and the productivity of his or her operation. Even the intimation of structure may be a bit unnerving to your individualism. assignments and such. Ph. RoBards. sensing-type employees may not respond with great warmth to an EMPATHIST manager's continual "improvements" of their procedures. EMPATHIST managers are most comfortable with their own behavior when they give their employees free reign.EMPATHIST managers are born innovators. In one form or another. Unless the EMPATHIST manager can learn to recognize sensing-type people. Consequently. figuring everything out as they go along. but. 31 . value them as they are.
irresponsibility and incompetence.D. And— more often than not—any judging-type employee. (SJ)LEGALISTs. timetables and rules—both for themselves and for others. RoBards. may feel uncomfortable with an absence of guidelines. lack of drive. will regard the EMPATHIST's laissez-faire management attitude to be a sign of disorganization. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Ph. particularly.THIST manager's natural inclination fails to meet the needs of most sensingtype workers. especially an (SJ)LEGALIST. soft-headed weakness. 32 .
Ph.Key Concepts for You as a Manager: creative expression appreciation and support autonomy and individuality self-actualization of yourself and others purpose and meaning to work human interaction and human impact © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. 33 . RoBards.D.
sensitive person whose contribution and cooperation are valued at an intensely personal level. RoBards.Managing Your iNtuitive-Feeling (NF)Empathist Employee The intuitive-feeling employee needs to be appreciated as a unique member of the work team: a flesh-and-blood. or color combinations. Even when the critical comments are prefaced by the request that the employee not "take it personally. given a few well-placed hints. They'll work to earn your favor. Consequently. It follows that this type is most easily frustrated and irritated by being treated merely as a Social Security number. An intelligent manager makes use of this characteristic and always minimizes overt criticism of the EMPATHIST employee. In certain tradition-oriented work situations. please remember to wear kid gloves! Make it a point to compliment outfits which come closest to the needs of the work place or the task. and. Even when constrained by a modest budget.D. That's the kind of name-dropping that really impresses the EMPATHIST! Intuitive-feeling types express themselves emotionally by their clothing. often showing a flair for unusual colors. any wise manager makes it a point to know the familiar names of (NF)EMPATHIST employees—their spouses' and children's too. bear in mind that intuitive-feeling types love praise and approval. If changes must be suggested. anyway! The EMPATHIST employee is most likely to annoy others at work by a particularly personal kind of fickleness: deciding work-related issues on an © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. faceless member of a particular department or task force. patterns. 34 . EMPATHISTs like to dress in their own unique style. or a nameless. the EMPATHIST's sometimesavant-garde garb may arouse comment and concern. a job description." understand that the EMPATHIST will. Ph. EMPATHISTs are sensitive to such differential praise. if possible and practical. you'll probably find that the subtle message hits its mark! In all situations.
rather than in black and white.emotional basis—when they might be dealt with more effectively and acceptably at a logical level—and then changing sides or positions with what others may interpret to be whim. Ask your EMPATHIST how the working situation might be improved to increase the general level of happiness and satisfaction. dishonest and untrustworthy. they often are found at the root of conflict in the work-place. and that the cast of characters in the office may appear to be dressed in a rainbow of colors. Consult with your EMPATHIST employees when you want to improve communication or develop consumer. Ask the EMPATHIST to help you out when you need to understand the basis of office discontent. RoBards. Championing today's underdog. Those problems are natural tasks for the intuitive-feeling type. fighting for the needs and concerns of others and themselves. evaluates a myriad of aspects of others. Don't expect those negative feelings to be set aside for the sake of work. The EMPATHIST probably will have a suggestion. whenever practical. and draws a complex assessment which encompasses the concepts bad. when seen through the EMPATHIST's eyes! As much as the intuitive-feeling types may value harmony. Accept the fact that the EMPATHIST's personal self and work self are one. keep reminding yourself that the EMPATHIST's opinions are not necessarily logical or objective. alliances and feuds. The EMPATHIST knows! But. It won't happen. siding against today's meanie. For better or worse. 35 .D. whenever EMPATHISTs are concerned. Assign EMPATHIST employees to work with those they like. The EMPATHIST's personal radar can be used to good advantage by a sensitive manager.or client-centered policies or products. nonetheless. this type reflexively relates to people personally. Ph. those anti-authoritarian © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. the wind or the weather! Values and feelings rule the EMPATHIST's judgment. Make a note. Harmony at work leads to productivity. devious. The breadth and depth of an EMPATHIST's feelings are awesome to other types.
not fiat. coming from an EMPATHIST.EMPATHISTs are persuasive folks—often discontent and unintentionally divisive. rigid. RoBards. the EMPATHIST may be totally baffled. influential EMPATHISTs— especially the extraverts—may place themselves at the forefront of every employee rebellion. insensitive to the personal consequences of work decisions. tradition-bound: organization people at heart. is the order of the day when EMPATHISTs are involved. When a management change is considered—and the change will affect EMPATHISTs at any level of the hierarchy—a wise manager involves these key employees from the earliest stage of the planning. they may perceive changes as done to them. Both thinking (SP)REALISTs and (SJ)LEGALISTs may accuse EMPATHISTs of having no sense of humor. Needless to say. At the very least. rule-oriented. The old management dictum of "make no fast or unnecessary changes!" applies doubly when dealing with intuitive-feeling types. rather than for or concerning them. Without sensitive management.D. They bridle at authority and heavy-handed guidance. especially. Management by sensitive and conscientious leadership. that's not a compliment! © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. 36 . Thinking-type (SJ)LEGALISTs will strike many EMPATHISTs as obsessive-compulsive. In all matters. you may hear some criticism that the sensor has absolutely no imagination or insight! In dealing with sensing-thinking sorts. Ph. and basically selfish. personal sarcasm. Thinking-type (SP)REALISTs may appear to most EMPATHISTs as impulsive and cavalier with change. intuitive-feeling types must see themselves as active participants in the architecture of their lives and work. What about the interpersonal chemistry? If an EMPATHIST is obliged to deal with any sensing-type. Unless your EMPATHISTs feel a part of the decision-making. since the sensors' concept of a joke may take the form of ridicule or biting. EMPATHISTs have a strong need to feel autonomous.
too. confusion and misunderstanding. criticize and direct will not find a happy reception with the sensitive. Especially if both are extraverted and perceptive. and by living in a world of ideas. the fact that intuitives are so dramatically outnumbered by sensors in the overall population prepares them to recognize their like features and greet each other as long-lost kin. The word boss encourages another comment. whether as a boss. The EMPATHIST often will be hurt and confused by the (NT) ANALYST counterpart's lack of personal sensitivity and warmth—or by an inconsis- © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. the alliance of an EMPATHIST and an thinking-type (SJ)LEGALIST is difficult to beat for effective and sensitive management. for the facade of similarity between (NT)ANALYSTs and perceptive EMPATHISTs is an illusion. if both parties can be educated to understand the sources of their inevitable interpersonal conflict. 37 .In moments of hurt feelings. In a sense. In a close working situation.D. and the alliance may benefit by engaging a third party. as one extraverted. In fact. to act as a consultant and mediator. advise. But the relationship will require work and commitment on both sides. these types may resemble each other superficially by showing a similarly intuitive and enthusiastic spirit. every EMPATHIST needs a sensor. a wounded EMPATHIST may characterize the thinking-type (SJ)LEGALIST as nearly heartless and clearly lacking a sense of fun or personal warmth— "approximately dead". Ph. RoBards. and if both are willing to work on the relationship. from time to time. The thinking-type (SJ)LEGALIST's natural tendency to parent. a subordinate or a colleague with a coordinated job assignment. Then. trusted by both. by bucking the system. that veneer quickly is eroded by the reality of their different interactional styles. Both EMPATHISTs and (NT)ANALYSTs regard creativity as their personal hallmark. autonomy-seeking EMPATHIST! All these comments aside. this resemblance is unfortunate. perceptive EMPATHIST described her introverted and thinking (SJ)LEGALIST boss.
The (NT)ANALYST may pass over the first signs that the EMPATHIST is different. Ph. Placed in such a position. figures.D. The problem goes both ways. how do you put the natural personality of an EMPATHIST to work? First. remember that EMPATHISTs focus on the possibilities. and even personal chatter and gossip. RoBards. of course. 38 . in particular. the (NT)ANALYST may express discomfort in collaborating with the EMPATHIST and may question the feeler's intelligence. Even after both types have come to recognize the nature of their different stripes. processes.tency in both. eventually. the typical EMPATHIST will "escape" by excessive socializing. awkward and uncomfortable. This is particularly true of perceptive-types. Insight-oriented management programs may be very helpful in ameliorating such problems. (The (NT) ANALYST may well be oblivious to the EMPATHIST's concern. theoretical systems and abstract concepts unrelated to people confuses the EMPATHIST. EMPATHISTs start projects well. So. but finish them poorly. In time. But. work-related conversation and telephoning. Perceptive-type EMPATHISTs. who comes to face the unpleasant fact that the ANALYST may actually be like one of them (other thinker-types). bear in mind as a manager that a feeling of mutual betrayal may remain. until an emotional confrontation occurs!) The ANALYST's fundamental preoccupation with ideas. do not do well in any job which requires them to pay precise attention to facts. the history of conflict and rejection may poison the interaction. and details. Extraverted EMPATHISTs may manufacture excuses for meetings. as may a session or two of private counseling. the broadbrush reality of any situation. as a panacea for boring work. Dispelling the effects of dashed expectations in interpersonal relationships at work often is difficult. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. the thinker may unabashedly accuse the feeler of logical lapses or not thinking clearly. But.
create. drama and communication in the employee newsletter or house publication. eating or recreation spaces in the office environment. but don't expect these folks to follow up on the hum-drum routine and fine-tuning that may stretch on for weeks or months in a big project. Assign EMPATHISTs to initiate employee parties and gatherings. just as matter of style. If a job requires predictability. if a three-day weekend can't be scheduled. attitudes and opinions. you may suggest that a Friday or Monday vacation day be taken. speech. Feeling-type REALISTs and LEGALISTs may also lend a helping hand. Let the employee know you understand that the intuitive cycle requires R R. When you recognize burn-out in your EMPATHIST employee. Don't worry: it'll return as soon as the system's recharged. Let them organize others to get the job done. 39 . Let them be conduits of employee sentiments. for that matter)! That intuitive energy can't be metered or regulated. don't assign it to an EMPATHIST (or to an NT. shift your fizzled intuitive onto a new project and watch that energy return! Let your EMPATHIST employees' natural orientation toward peopleproblems and human concerns find expression. By all means. and design. And that process can be speeded along by a manager who understands that intuitives run hot and cold.D. with good results. Give key EMPATHISTs a sensing-type assistant or colleague. punctuality and a steady pace of progress.Let your EMPATHISTs plan. flickers and fades. Let EMPATHISTs express their aesthetic sensibilities when designing or redecorating work. Ph. Let EMPATHISTs participate in personnel policy-making and hiring decisions. conceptualize. refilled and restored. And. Let EMPATHISTs perform informal counseling and advisement functions to and for management. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. It bursts and surges and gushes. Then it trickles. utilize the EMPATHIST's flair for writing. RoBards.
Accept the fact that a graphic depiction of an EMPATHIST's decision tree resembles a bushy shrub. Assign at least one EMPATHIST to every committee to foster harmony and to ensure attention to each group member's inputs and ideas. EMPATHISTs make excellent committee participants. or democratically structured. That's inevitable. Given a relatively unstructured. make sure you allow time and flexibility for EMPATHISTs to stray off the subject and onto unrelated personal matters. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. when EMPATHISTs are around! Don't demand logical. RoBards.Listen to your EMPATHISTs' counsel in designing new marketing or advertising campaigns. 40 . Ph. since cooperation is their natural tendency.D. and that the EMPATHIST's thought process may hop from branch to branch in ways which baffle most thinker-types. Trust their assessments of the tastes and wishes of the consumers or clients. blooming with people-concerns. EMPATHISTs excel at brain-storming or otherwise sharing ideas. linear thinking from EMPATHISTs. please. Even the most organized judging EMPATHISTs live in a world nearly beyond the imagination of all the other types. But. committee.
Nations rise and fall. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. and for getting a little analytical about those all-important parts of life that many abandon to chance and pure emotion: affection and close relationships: CONNECTIONS! Times come and go. Ironically. we expect more from love than ever before. Wars erupt and fizzle. we also expect less. we leave our dirty dishes behind us and move to a fresh table setting. mating was a once-and-for-all matter determined either by family expectations and arrangements. Ph. We've become what anthropologists dub a "serially polygamous society. We expected relatively little from marriage: constancy and mutual support and rearing children. fill our needs for sexual excitement and satisfaction. They always have. too. security and companionship. we demand that love keep us happy. creature comfort. 41 . In former generations. "Clean cups! Move down!" The stigma of divorce and of marriage-less intimate relationships is largely gone in our society." multiple mates over a lifetime. They always will. Somewhere along the way.Loving Profile Introduction Congratulations for using your head in affairs of the heart. As a culture. or by some adolescent infatuation that could be consummated only after a trip to the altar. intellectual stimulation. Now. Not so today. And. RoBards. when our relationships fail to meet these complex needs. our drive for reproduction still comes into the picture. Like the Mad Hatter's tea party in Alice in Wonderland. now. we dissolve them and go searching for a new mate. "Till death us do part" remained the operative phrase. friendship. But man's essential and undeniable biology decrees that the most important questions of life have to do with mating.D. fun.
To the degree that intuitives feel deficient for lacking a solid sense of reality—a firm here-and-now perspective on the world—then they may be attracted toward sensing types. CONNECTIONS is a learning experience about love and mating. If perceptives are impressed—either by experience or by criticism and condemnation—with their lack of decision-making ability. chatty. a new and different approach to "matters of the heart"—using your head! Opposites Attract Let's start with an obvious cliche: opposites attract. And. of course. They do. we search for someone "better" or more perfect. and superficial. Ph. But the question arises: are we learning anything from the relationships that don't work? Are we getting better at the mating game? That's what CONNECTIONS is all about. of course. We can start over. 42 . thus." so thinkers may be drawn toward feeling-type mates. the "decision-making" process we've alluded to is almost entirely subconscious! © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J.Now we aren't stuck in unsatisfying relationships. this yearning for one's opposite may stem from a deepseated feeling of rejection: that there's obviously something wrong with us. and. the pressures also apply in reverse on all of these dimensions! And. in more understandable terms: complements attract. And when extraverts come to believe what their critics say: that they are boisterous.D. RoBards. they may decide that they need an introverted mate. unreflecting. People often are drawn to what they are not. they may seek out judging partners. Or. To the extent that thinking-type people have been nagged and criticized for not being emotionally sensitive or "in touch with their feelings. To some extent.
in like-attracts-like coupling. doggedly nagging our Eliza Doolittle partner. Two extraverts may wear each other out. we almost instantly undertake a destructive mission to re-make the partner in our own image. RoBards. If Leslie is a quiet type who enjoys classical music and reading every evening. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. after being attracted to a mate who differs radically from ourselves. whose tastes are similar? Intellectuals appreciate the stimulation other thinker-types provide them. Ph. Two introverts may become totally reclusive. If Lee's an outdoor person who loves weekend back-packing trips roughing it in the wild. Henry Higgins. and so on. And feeling-types are relieved to find sensitive partners who share their value system. Keirsey and Bates dubbed this process "the Pygmalion project. But there are hazards.D. what could be better than spending time with Bo. but the relationship may not be a lasting one unless both partners continue to appreciate each other for the differences which drew them together in the first place! Mate with Your Match An alternative approach is to search for one's soul-mate: the personality image of ourselves. too. 43 . it's great if Jan enjoys the same adventure." and the analogy with George Bernard Shaw's play is aptly drawn. we can bet that the relationship isn't long for this world—or that it isn't destined to be very happy! So.The dilemma is this: all too often. and it has a good deal to recommend it. opposites may attract. Two intuitives may never attend to the details of life. That tactic is the one favored by most of the match-making services. If we find ourselves cast in the role of Dr.
D.Each partner may ratify his or her own short-comings in the mate. It makes no sense to take a hard and fast stand on whether you'll be happiest paired with your opposite or with your personality twin. Ph. in love as in all interpersonal relationships. and neither person may experience the growth that comes with coping effectively and creatively with individual differences. With more insight you may see that any loving connection that's based on the notion that one or both people must sacrifice their individuality to make the relationship work is no bargain for either party. But we do believe that differences in personal style are important in assessing the long-term outcome of love relationships. so you'd best go into them with your eyes wide open. RoBards. Learn to recognize the individual differences which are important for your mating style. we don't suggest that you turn into a balance-sheet lover. Understand how these differences may have affected your past relationships and your present ones. jotting down the assets and liabilities of each potential partner. Now let's take a look at your personal CONNECTIONS profile and the predictable ups and downs of your interactions with other personality types. And then use that knowledge to your benefit as you move forward with your love life! Hopefully. you may be able to trade in your maladaptive feelings of victimization and persecution for some good-natured acceptance of the fact that different people behave in predictably different ways. Now. You be the judge. this learning will help you become a bit more accepting of yourself and your partners. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. and a bit more responsible for the happiness of your life. The objective of this profile is to help you become a bit more analytical about your relationships. "Live and let live!" is the motto of the day. 44 . With more insight about your loving style.
The EMPATHIST wants to experience a deep relationship with one special partner: growing. to love unconditionally. The phrase "falling in love" was certainly coined to describe this type. one's sensitivity: that is the mission of the EMPATHIST. a single word. coming to understand one's needs. Love may come with a glance. RoBards. maturing. As an EMPATHIST you strive for a special union. The EMPATHIST hopes to find a partner to share life's journey. a knowledge of the other that is so profound that words aren't needed for communication. Joan of Arc was an EMPATHIST. The EMPATHIST generally sees this lifetime as an interlude. especially with any of the other temperaments! The EMPATHIST is romance personified. Coming to know oneself. The EMPATHIST will compromise all other parts of life for the sake of caring.D. to accept another totally and to be accepted in return. Values are what matter in life. one's strengths. 45 . one's fears. one's intuition. The EMPATHIST spares no time. understanding. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. energy or commitment in relationships. to embrace the unfolding process without reservation. for the sake of satisfying the life-mission.NF Loving Profile Relationships are the central concern for the existence of the intuitive feeling (EMPATHIST) temperament. Ph. The EMPATHIST seeks a fellow pilgrim open enough and flexible enough to encounter self and mate without pretense or facade. They thought she was crazy and they burned her at the stake. learning. a mystical connection. as a continuous process throughout life. a preface to some more cosmic form of existence and being. EMPATHISTs: take this as a serious harbinger of the fate that befalls you idealistic souls who search for a flawless relationship.
Sex may always be an on-again. The EMPATHIST. The EMPATHIST wants to spend every moment with the loved one—or at least a lot of time. both modes usually occur. For the EMPATHIST. The EMPATHIST's meaning for these terms is central to the EMPATHIST identity. and gift giving is a natural part of any EMPATHIST love relationship. Ph. In the course of any relationship. angry about some routine matter. The EMPATHIST's conflicts with all the other types will revolve around definitions of the words relationship and love. Then the honeymoon is usually over for good! The EMPATHIST can use that characteristic sensitivity to tune in to every ripple of mood and sentiment in a mate. the mood.D. Everything must be right. 46 . The EMPATHIST is usually more interested in romantic possibilities than in the day-to-day reality of relationships. the person. the EMPATHIST may immediately begin eying the greener grass on the other side of the fence. when the relationship degenerates to hum-drum predictability and staleness. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J.The object of an EMPATHIST's affection will be called "dear" and "honey" and original pet names. Taking care of the mate is a reflexive activity for EMPATHISTs. sex is fraught with meaning. A chronically broken heart is a way of life for many searching. the setting. seeking EMPATHISTs. RoBards. can't think about sex. The EMPATHIST overwhelmed by love aches for union. Thus. The EMPATHIST's frustration and pain over missed communications and hurt feelings are totally incomprehensible to all the other types. Or the EMPATHIST can become destructively hypersensitive and suspicious. when disillusionment strikes. "I love you" will punctuate each phone conversation and note. off-again thing for EMPATHISTs in the usual up and down love relationship.
also. With such change comes a sense of excitement. Relationship. Disillusionment. exotic flirtations. newness. comes some degree of turmoil and discomfort.D. and a broken-hearted depression which can be alleviated only by a new romance: that's how EMPATHIST-EMPATHIST love relationships end. RoBards. hurt feelings. love is such a roller coaster that other types must wonder if the "goin' up is worth the comin' down. hypersensitivity. their shared idealism is usually involved: a common quest. Ph. willing self-disclosure. a philosophical common-ground.When Like Likes Like. a cosmic sense of abandonment. the process. romantic meetings." but that's the way passion operates among these temperamental types. These are the relationships that F. To EMPATHISTs. or When (NF)Empathists Mate Stolen glances. smoldering passion. Growth is the goal. as is the exploration. tears. tearful pledges of commitment. painful infatuation. intense intimacy. and almost mystical fireworks are the way EMPATHIST-EMPATHIST love relationships begin. When EMPATHISTs mate. usually is a conscious focus of life. the pitfall and the glory of EMPATHISTEMPATHIST matings. per se. Combining those two objectives often presses EMPATHIST mates toward a continual redefinition and reworking of the relationship: a process of evolution and growth. expression and perfection of self. shivering sighs and shuddering palpitations. 47 . © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. aliveness. a spiritual commitment. Scott Fitzgerald heralded. with it.
in a typical pair-bonding situation. you might be hard-pressed to recognize them as EMPATHISTS. they are happiest. The one who's less gung-ho as an intuitive may be transformed into an (SP)REALIST or an (SJ)LEGALIST. EMPATHIST couples need to volunteer for. paying bills. the EMPATHIST couple is the stuff of which sonnets are written! Since communication skills are peak for this temperament. letters. Ah. is of interest to the EMPATHIST couple. delegate. most real-world relationships involve a certain amount of "taking care of business": attending to the sensing and thinking demands of society (working for a living. stories and novels is an accepted dinner-time conversation. Critiquing plays. and heartfelt telephone conversations may punctuate the days and nights. one or both feels compromised. RoBards." Pretty soon. Ph. critiquing a play. Then. going to the grocery. So. taking out trash. the cleaners. And that's not usually an easily hurdled obstacle. Unfortunately.D. The one whose preference for feeling is less strong may take on the robes of the "thinker. you can bet. doing laundry. notes. dishonest with the inner self.When two EMPATHISTS are in a situation which allows them to share their intuition and feeling. and such). or otherwise cover the reality chores of living together. and the fine-honing of personal philosophy is usually somewhere at the heart of these sharing experiences. but in its moments of glory. speech and writing about love's ups and downs are likely to be part of the relationship: poems. That's when the relationship usually works best: sharing a spiritual experience. the PTA. in a general sense. "The grass is always greener" phenomenon may strike particularly hard when two EMPATHISTS try to carry on a long-term relationship. 48 . One of the first major adjustments that occurs in most EMPATHIST pairings is that one (or both) of them appears to change type. keeping the car running and the house repaired. and resentful of the other and of the relationship. Communication. Do EMPATHISTS talk (and talk) about their relationship? Do they breathe? Two EMPATHISTS together may become "self-actualization" junkies: following one personal development or spiritual training experience after an- © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. washing dishes.
the EMPATHIST pair is almost psychic: anticipating each other's mood swings. but we have times together when we breathe in rhythm. and other products of runaway imagination may pollute every interaction. there may still be funds for group therapy or private counseling sessions. following after one or another guru. even to another EMPATHIST! It may be very difficult for two EMPATHISTs to "lighten up" when it comes to just enjoying a relationship. probably "work" at love more than any other type. When there's no money in the budget for frills. RoBards. Suspicion. because I don't like to lie to her! © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. In their most intense state of connection. paranoia. fears. needs. I told her I wasn't. And he's capable of feeling me the same way. posture. I wasn't. dreams. We can tell each other our deepest thoughts. especially when they can feed off each other's energy and commitment. As one EMPATHIST woman put it: "We have our hard times. expression. In a connected relationship. I sense his joy. EMPATHISTs.D. sure. when the magic needs a tune-up. wants. EMPATHISTs tend to ponder the meaning and significance of every gesture. "For one crazy minute. glance. I wouldn't trade that kind of connection for anything!" But. EMPATHIST types. thoughts and aspirations. I feel his thoughts. I thought it might be easier to lie. color every communication. and—when carried to extreme—the continual analysis of what everything means can be exhausting. Except there wasn't another person. she got the impression that I was having an affair. sharing meaningful books and films. hypersensitivity. "Somehow. 49 . if not most. tell her I was having an affair—that she was right—and make her feel better. without ever speaking. Then she got angry because she could accept the fact that there was another person. and I wasn't lying. The quest for self and identity is unceasing for many.other. but not the fact that I was lying. Ph. the dark side of that EMPATHIST sensitivity may rear its head. word and silence. in their own unique way. I hurt with him. But I didn't.
both in terms of defining the relationship and pursuing personal goals. she'll just assume that it's another lie! I can't win!" The innocent NF man returned home to find that his NF spouse had chopped off all her raven-black hair in revenge. whose requests for socializing. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. 50 ."Now she says she thinks she knows who the person is—a good friend of ours—and she's going to confront her. RoBards.D. privacy. EMPATHIST couples who differ markedly in the strength of their preferences for feeling and intuition may actually regard each other as "foreign" types! Other important conflicts and misunderstandings may revolve around the dimensions of judging-perception and introversion-extraversion. In other words. Neither may recognize the other as a kindred soul because their needs for interaction are so different. But I'm not having an affair! Now what do I do? When she confronts our friend and she denies it. For example. These are some of the troublesome typical pitfalls of the EMPATHISTEMPATHIST pairing. in turn. By the same token. but not the only ones. conversation. Ph. contact. First of all. the partner whose preference for intuition is stronger may see the other as a sensor! And the partner who's most comfortable with "pure" feeling may regard the other as a hard-hearted thinking type. they may minimize their areas of compatibility and focus instead on their differences. may call the judge narrow-minded and rigid. but we've only been looking at the aspects that are generated by the "temperamental cornerstone" of iNtuition and Feeling. introverted EMPATHISTS may find their need for peace. compliments and other strokes and feedback are frustrated by introverted partners. For nothing. and personal territory continually violated by extraverted EMPATHISTS. In either case." The perceptive. Those are important characteristics. an EMPATHIST who prefers judging may consider a perceptive-type partner to be unclear on personal values or inadequately committed to the relationship or to other "causes.
Ph. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. 51 . And an ENFJ and an INFJ may have to work very hard at understanding each other's needs—even though they have three out of four of the personality factors in common. an ENFP and an INFP represent vastly different personality styles in a close relationship. RoBards.D. Even though they're both of the EMPATHIST temperament.The significance of differences along the introversion-extraversion dimension cannot be overstated.
schedules. This is a combination which offers challenges for both parties. period. but these two may form a powerful team if they learn to work together and if they ever come to understand that they will never see the world through each other's eyes. Intuitive-feeling mates (especially perceptive ones!) bridles at authority. feelings. rituals and authority structures. 52 . the personality differences between the EMPATHIST and LEGALIST temperaments are worth examining. To the sensing-judging type. The EMPATHIST is spiritual and mystical. habits. passion. procedures. ideas. facts and figures. and even if both are judging and feeling. Work plays an important part in the picture. The EMPATHIST isn't. The sensing-judging partner sees life as a series of duties. The EMPATHIST thinks in terms of tomorrow and forever. The LEGALIST thinks in terms of history and today. The LEGALIST is practical and sensible. responsibilities. Ph. Relationships. and they aren't likely ever to remake each other into a carbon copy of the self! The relative importance of WORK and RELATIONSHIPS demands examination if the LEGALIST/EMPATHIST relationship is to be understood.D. causes. commitments. obligations. rules. "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts". sentiments. freedom. life and duty are synonymous.The (SJ)Legalist and the (NF)Empathist Even if this pair shares its introversion or extraversion. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. hierarchies. RoBards. The LEGALIST is traditional and organized. love: that's what EMPATHISTs are made of! The EMPATHIST is creative and spontaneous. and even the implication of structure in a relationship is a bit unnerving to the autonomy-loving EMPATHIST.
If the LEGALIST is a thinker. Needless to say. The EMPATHIST believes that caring and acceptance and flexibility are what's required to make the world run smoothly. and the well-oiled machine of society cranks on. You do it right and on time and you get paid for your contribution. And. emotions and values figure strongly in that determination. RoBards. logic is paramount in determining what is fair. the EMPATHIST and the feeling LEGALIST have an easier time in a partnership than the combination when the LEGALIST is a thinker. To an EMPATHIST. To the LEGALIST.To the intuitive-feeling type. FAIRNESS is an important concept to the LEGALIST mate. The LEGALIST believes. that view is unsupported fiction. Work is certainly important. EMPATHISTs don't see world crises as anything other than the multiplication of individual relationship problems. a nice fairy tale. earnestly. To the EMPATHIST. The LEGALIST sees life as a traditional script of well-defined characters. that people have roles to play in life. service. life and relationships are synonymous. EMPATHISTs believe that love and acceptance of others can move mountains. 53 . communication. Ph. and that each must take a part and play the role predictably. art. responsible mate. work is work. If the LEGALIST is a feeler. but totally unrealistic. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. that view is mechanistic and deadly boring. Punctuality. To a LEGALIST. dutifully and conscientiously or the play will bomb and society won't function. fairy tales don't make the mortgage payment! The LEGALIST is an honest. work must be meaningful: both personally fulfilling and impactful on others. although they do figure more strongly in the habits of the intuitive-feeling folks who prefer judging. but the EMPATHIST conceives of work differently: as a gift to humanity. reliability and steadiness are not basic parts of the EMPATHIST personality. inspiration: an act of creation to bear witness to the fact that the EMPATHIST once lived. the LEGALIST hastens to point out.D. who relates to the partner cooperatively.
even though judging EMPATHISTs are more likely to force themselves to attend to such matters. because the EMPATHIST shows. in general. particularly. The LEGALIST knows that the EMPATHIST doesn't like to balance the checkbook. unwilling to look beyond today's "Do It" list (with its little neat boxes for checking off the day's tasks) to the real meaning of life and love. LEGALISTs tend to parent their EMPATHIST mates. The LEGALIST is trustworthy and takes pride in that characteristic. The LEGALIST knows that the EMPATHIST might overdraw the account—not by self-indulgence—but by picking up an expensive present for the (frustrated and sometimes unappreciative) LEGALIST mate! The thinking LEGALIST. Promises are not broken casually or capriciously. since the LEGAL- © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. and the LEGALIST knows that something as boring and impersonal as bill-paying may just slip the EMPATHIST's attention until a payment is long overdue. If the EMPATHIST is usually twenty minutes late picking up the LEGALIST mate. The LEGALIST checks up on every "assignment" of the EMPATHIST's day. particularly in the financial and bill-paying realm. RoBards. again and again.Commitments and obligations are taken seriously by the LEGALIST. this seems necessary. For the LEGALIST. The EMPATHIST sees the LEGALIST as hopelessly stuck in the here-andnow. The LEGALIST knows that the EMPATHIST doesn't think that punctuality is terribly critical. 54 . even less conscientious. you might think that nursery school is in session. can parent the EMPATHIST into becoming even more irresponsible. The EMPATHIST sees commitment at a more spiritual level.D. the EMPATHIST has a hard time understanding the LEGALIST's anger and resentment. To listen to a conversation. and that thinking is not a comfortable mode of functioning for this mate. The LEGALIST also has a long memory for others' irresponsibility. that inattention to detail is a basic feature of the EMPATHIST personality. particularly when the LEGALIST is a thinker and the EMPATHIST is a perceptive type. Ph.
and they tend to save little as a nest egg or a rainy-day fund. 55 . When it comes to spending MONEY. And LEGALISTs (especially the thinking ones) just don't congratulate. hungering for approval and gratitude. EMPATHISTs are not security-minded. and that durable. thank or otherwise acknowledge anything other than herculean accomplishment. in general. charge. In the EMPATHIST/LEGALIST relationship. EMPATHISTs do tend to use money (real and potential) impulsively. Ph. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. to be carefully maintained for as long as possible. as a rule. ("Reward people for just doing what's sensible and right?" hoots the LEGALIST. LEGALISTs and EMPATHISTs have both similarities and differences. and not at all giving and generous. The LEGALIST would rather do without. but not even they believe their protestations of innocence!) The LEGALIST is a bit of a pessimist. or rent. incredulously. Attitudes about EDUCATION may come into conflict between the EMPATHIST and the LEGALIST. good-quality pieces should be selected. buying as emotion moves them. RoBards. always looking for the worst to happen and conscientiously planning against that dark day. EMPATHISTs give it lavishly.D.) That brings up another serious issue for the EMPATHIST/LEGALIST combination: APPRECIATION. appreciate. (-NFPs swear that they are not the worst when it comes to money. The LEGALIST hesitates to borrow. and there are times when the EMPATHIST will regard the LEGALIST as stingy.IST isn't usually good at doling out praise and appreciation when the EMPATHIST is dutiful. But. too conservative. the EMPATHIST is likely to remain needy. For all their idealism and periodic shunning of material needs. EMPATHISTs need it desperately. LEGALISTs favor saving money over spending it. LEGALISTs may agree with EMPATHISTs that expenditures for the home are important.
The LEGALIST is quite practical when it comes to learning and training. and I've just found this wonderful sociology professor. The EMPATHIST sees life as a continuing learning and growth experience. and this type is most comfortable in fields which minimize theory. LEGALIST: I thought you were majoring in anthropology. to master a field of knowledge so it may be applied. EMPATHIST: Yes. creativity. 56 . of course. And psychology. finish. whether it may ever earn an income. is just the opposite. reading and writing—and the more creative the topic the better. to learn a skill.D. LEGALIST: When are you going to finish your degree? © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. and all but the most straight-forward kind of writing. The EMPATHIST does not enjoy learning by memorization. visualization. The EMPATHIST learns to learn. innovation. LEGALIST: And now sociology. LEGALISTs work hard at school. a laboratory in which learning about humanity and learning to exercise interpersonal skills is the name of the game. RoBards. and apply what they've learned to earn a living--and their attitude is often: “the sooner the better!” The EMPATHIST. Ph. EMPATHIST: It's just a class. without much attention to whether the learning may ever be applied. The LEGALIST studies mostly by memorization of facts. The LEGALIST seeks an education in order to work. EMPATHIST: I am. but excels at theorizing. A classic interchange between a thinker-type LEGALIST and a perceptivetype EMPATHIST mate is this: LEGALIST: You've been in college for six years now. imagining.
EMPATHIST: I still have three freshman courses I haven't finished yet.D. I hate math. THE LEGALIST MAY CONCLUDE THAT THE EMPATHIST HAS NO SENSE. LEGALIST: When are you going to finish your degree? EMPATHIST: I'm thinking of changing my major. 4. LEGALIST: What does a social ecologist do? Where do they work? How much do they make? EMPATHIST: You're a stick in the mud. Ph. 57 . MAY RESULT IN THE LEGALIST'S CONTINUAL PARENTING OF THE EMPATHIST MATE. THE EMPATHIST'S PREOCCUPATION WITH "IMPRACTICAL" ISSUES WILL STRIKE THE LEGALIST AS IRRESPONSIBLE AND UNFAIR IN THE RELATIONSHIP—FORCING THE LEGALIST TO TAKE CARE OF ALL REALITY-BASED CONCERNS IN LIFE 3. THE CONFLICTS OVER MONEY AND WORK. LEGALIST: Hopefully to something that will train you to do something. IN PARTICULAR. It's a little of this and a little of that. EMPATHIST: Social ecology. One of them is math. Predictable crises for this combination 1. AND THE EMPATHIST MAY CONCLUDE THAT THE LEGALIST HAS NO IMAGINATION. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. THE ABSENCE OF REINFORCEMENT AND APPRECIATION MAY BE CRIPPLING TO THE EMPATHIST'S SENSE OF PERSONAL ESTEEM AND SELF-WORTH. RoBards. 2. I just hate required courses.
58 . NOTE: ALL OF THESE PREDICTABLE CRISES ARE MORE LIKELY WHEN THE LEGALIST IS A THINKER AND/OR THE EMPATHIST IS A PERCEPTIVE.D. THE EMPATHIST MAY CONCLUDE THAT THE LEGALIST HAS NO CONCEPT OF DEEP FEELING AND RELATIONSHIP. Ph.5. NON-CAREER-ORIENTED LEARNING. 2. 3. FEELINGS AND SPIRITUALITY. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. THE EMPATHIST MAY LEARN TO CHANNEL SOME EFFORT AND ENERGY INTO AREAS WHICH WILL PROVIDE SOME FINANCIAL OR OTHERWISE TANGIBLE PAY-OFF. RoBards. THE LEGALIST MAY BECOME MORE OPEN TO AESTHETICS. Possible benefits for this combination 1. AND THE EMPATHIST MAY LEARN TO COMPLETE TASKS AND BE MORE RELIABLE AND PUNCTUAL. THE LEGALIST MAY BECOME MORE FLEXIBLE. INTERPERSONAL DYNAMICS.
Ph. whether or not they carry the promise of a financial pay-off. IDEALISM is one factor that attracts EMPATHISTs and ANALYSTs to each other: the greater importance of possibilities than realities. Three-fourths of the population of the U. 59 .. in preference to a highly paid position which carries no hope of autonomy or creative expression. it is their shared preference for intuition that usually makes these two types greet each other as kindred souls. research and teaching. from an early age onward. In general. Intuitives are used to being outnumbered. They'll accept a poorly paid professorship which grants freedom of expression. even if they can't understand or agree with a particular one. the day dreamers who wonder "what if. The world of higher education—particularly professional education—is domi- © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. the belief that not everything of value is tangible. the theorizers. In school. Only about a quarter of the population is thought to be intuitive. intuitive types aren't very materialistic. They stick together.. if only for their own protection! Other intuitives validate their basis of perception. Intuitives have a tolerance for speculation.D. the creative anti-authoritarian kids who ask "Why?" whenever they're told to obey. the intuitives are the question-asking iconoclasts. INTELLIGENCE is another factor that draws intuitive to intuitive. the fantasizers. imagination and ideas per se.S.?" Intuitives enjoy the company of other intuitives. Other intuitives accept the value of theory.The (NF)Empathist and the (NT)Analyst What brings the EMPATHIST and ANALYST together? Whether or not they match on the dimensions of introversion-extraversion or judgingperception. is thought to belong to the various sensing personality types (8 of the 16 types). RoBards. of knowledge.
intuitives sometimes have a hard time recognizing the skills of sensing types as intelligent. degrees and credentials. by some backwards psychology. independent ANALYST enjoys the solicitous appreciation and praise that EMPATHISTs typically bestow on those close to them! But problems arise rather soon for this pair. seem refreshing and unconventional to the ANALYST. unconscious way of conducting their personal relationships is basically painful to feeling types. RoBards. Besides. probably.D. seek mates who have amassed credits. seem to thrive in the highest echelons of the conventional educational establishment. Frankly speaking. And it's a rare EMPATHIST who hasn't confronted some thinker-types along the way to point out to them that their unfeeling. but they may also be attracted by virtue of their dissonance on the thinking-feeling dimension. thus. Many intuitives equate intelligence with education and. friend. ANALYSTs and EMPATHISTs may be attracted to each other because of their shared idealism and intuitive intelligence. ANALYSTS and EMPATHISTS may find each other totally irresistible! The EMPATHIST's logic (and illogic!) may. But not intelligent. at first. even a tough. Intuitive thinkers. Most intuitives identify intuitive intelligence as real intelligence. Clever. It's a rare adult EMPATHIST who hasn't been nagged and criticized by a parent. So. Ph. The EMPATHIST's warm personal style and sensitive attention to others' emotional concerns may impress an ANALYST as suave and effective. maybe. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. especially.nated by the intuitive personality types. Efficient. 60 . But. nonetheless. lover or spouse about their lack of logic—their blatant ignorance of the fact that this is a facts-and-figures world.
but both have a hard time with each other's. but avoidance of criticism and competition may just convince the ANALYST mate. The ANALYST is logical. Critiquing and criticizing every gesture. Eventually. The ANALYST may find it impossible to understand why the EMPATHIST partner wants to be told "I love you" all the time.D. word and idea. once and for all. The EMPATHIST may find it difficult to understand why the ANALYST would refuse to go to church or participate in an uplifting personal-growth weekend or take a course in creative visualization or re-birthing or spiritual affirmation or unconditional love. who will put forth super-human effort to ensure that the ANALYST's friends are well-treated.Problem number one is APPRECIATION and CRITICISM. RoBards. The EMPATHIST's preoccupation with relationships. The well-intentioned ANALYST may try to "help the EMPATHIST out" with logical issues. The EMPATHIST. The ANALYST assumes that. and it's generally yoked to problem number two: SPIRITUALITY and LOGIC. whereas the EMPATHIST is spiritual. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. initiative and competency. "What's the use of trying. 61 . Life is too short. the ANALYST is quite capable of crushing the EMPATHIST. and goes elsewhere in search of reinforcement. other-worldly spirituality. who will try so hard to please and win approval. So the EMPATHIST just quits trying. anyway?" the EMPATHIST wonders. whose mind is probably elsewhere. that this partner doesn't have what it takes in terms of drive. once said—or occasionally reiterated—should be enough. and personal development may baffle and annoy the ANALYST. the ANALYST may succeed in paralyzing the EMPATHIST's motivational system. will be frustrated by the lack of reciprocation on the part of the mate when the EMPATHIST's circle of friends is being entertained. Both of them believe in the reality of ideas. Ph. There's unquestionable survival value in the EMPATHIST's retreat from the hypercritical ANALYST.
as part of the mating ritual. Fair’s fair.D. or openly bored with the EMPATHIST's friends. ANALYSTs often have to struggle with the EMPATHIST’s need for romance and. critical. An ANALYST running away from a relationship may turn into a rather monochromatic character. who may be caustic. and drops into bed exhausted (too exhausted. impinges excessively on the ANALYST's sense of "center". RoBards. be related to theory. then the ANALYST may bridle. distracting the creative process from the endless stream of intellectual talks at hand? You guessed it! The ANALYST gets buried in work. humanistic. except as a cushion. and touchy-feelie concerns of the EMPATHIST crowd—unless they can. And then there’s the matter of SEX. somehow. The EMPATHIST may have to learn to expect less. a backdrop. How does the ANALYST run away from a relationship that's pressing in on all sides. If the relationship gets too demanding. The ANALYST may have to give more. boring black and white. a comforting and consoling "R and R" retreat from temporary set-backs and disappointments at work. allows it to go on without interruption or compromise. if you catch my meaning!). well. comes home late or not at all. 62 . The EMPATHIST may © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. To the extent that the loving relationship supports work. Hurt feelings can be a way of life in this relationship unless differences in “style” can be addressed in an affirmative way. The EMPATHIST may well see the ANALYST mate as being "married" to the job. and this evaluation isn't far from accurate! It is hard for the EMPATHIST to understand that relationships just aren't terribly important to many ANALYSTs. a driving and uncompromising task-master. Ph. then the ANALYST will be happy with the relationship.The ANALYST. really isn't interested in the mystical. A major conflict for the EMPATHIST and ANALYST concerns the ANALYST's obsessive identification of life with work. adoration. The ANALYST regards work as the central focus of life.
THE ANALYST MAY LEARN TO BECOME MORE APPRECIATIVE AND REINFORCING OF OTHERS. THE ANALYST MAY COME TO REGARD THE EMPATHIST AS A MARTIAN. 63 . NOTE: ALL OF THESE PREDICTABLE CRISES ARE MORE LIKELY WHEN THE PARTNERS HAVE DIFFERENT PREFERENCES FOR THE INTROVERSION-EXTRAVERSION AND PERCEPTIVE-JUDGING ATTITUDES. 2. the EMPATHIST and ANALYST may come to regard the other as lacking intuition. AND THE EMPATHIST MAY LEARN TO BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT AND SELFREINFORCING. BOTH OF THEM MAY RESOLVE THE CONFLICT BY DECIDING THAT THE OTHER IS NOT INTUITIVE (READ: CREATIVE. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J.start to wonder whatever happened to that creativity that once attracted them to each other! Needless to say. 2. 3. BOTH PARTNERS MAY LEARN TO EXPAND THEIR SENSE OF INTELLIGENCE TO INCLUDE BOTH THINKING AND FEELING. Possible Benefits for This Combination 1. WITH NO SENSE OF CONVENTIONAL FEELING. INTELLIGENT ) SINCE NEITHER CAN RECOGNIZE THE OTHER'S BRAND OF INTUITION WITHOUT FEELING SOMEWHAT INVALIDATED. THE EMPATHIST MAY COME TO REGARD THE ANALYST AS A MARTIAN.D. Without some awareness of the source of their conflict. when the preferences for extraversion-introversion and/or perception-judging are also at odds. RoBards. WITH NO SENSE OF CONVENTIONAL LOGIC. The opportunity for mutual burn out is maximized. Ph. the very similarity which probably attracted them to each other in the first place! Predictable Crises for This Combination 1.
4. Ph. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. RoBards.D. THEY MAY UNDERTAKE SHARED PROJECTS TAPPING THEIR COMMON INTUITIVE PROCESS AND BENEFITING FROM TASKASSIGNMENTS APPROPRIATE FOR THEIR THINKING OR FEELING PREFERENCES. AND THE EMPATHIST MAY LEARN TO DEVELOP GREATER COMPETENCY IN LOGICAL MATTERS.3. THE ANALYST MAY COME MORE IN TUNE WITH THE EMOTIONAL REALM. 64 .
creativity or merit. 65 . get sick. and they may share introversion or extraversion. a thing. make excuses. a mission. become morbid or depressed. and knowing a bit about what to expect can smooth out the road a bit for the EMPATHIST-REALIST lovebirds. The REALIST has a good time not working. or group of people. When work © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. or engage in other varieties of self-destructive behavior. Ph. Then the REALIST goes off and does something else. What's the difference? The EMPATHIST gets absorbed by an idea. without value. And both the REALIST and the EMPATHIST experience "let downs" in their work. a process. Alas! The muse is gone! The EMPATHIST may blame others for the inertia. a piece of writing or art. while the REALIST is more often attracted by a game or other physical endeavor (from football to dance to pottery making to music). a relationship. The EMPATHIST burns out periodically and goes through a low-energy recovery cycle until that intuitive fire is rekindled. RoBards. complain. when work is self-selected play. But the EMPATHIST and REALIST modes of dealing with love and life are fundamentally different ones. The REALIST may just quit doing whatever when the impulse fades. useless. The REALIST is a different breed. An excited EMPATHIST. a philosophy. One difference is that the EMPATHIST may be a miserable creature during the slack period—feeling guilty.D. a technique. Both of them may decide to work until three in the morning.—or a here-and-now problem to solve by some hands-on approach.The (NF)Empathist and the (SP)Realist It's possible for EMPATHISTs and REALISTs to have a great deal in common: both may be perceptives or feeling types. eat too much. it's OK. To the REALIST. working feverishly on life's latest (greatest) creation or cause looks remarkably like a REALIST immersed in an allabsorbing pet project. a device or project.
joy. fraternity. RoBards.D. But the REALIST deals with the people as part of the fun. fellowship. the happiness. you can bet that this difference in their attitudes may loom large in the relationship's problems. REALISTs play to play. But there's a difference between EMPATHIST play and REALIST play. EMPATHISTs. as though the experience were being shared to be preserved as a memory. 66 . better than any other temperamental type maintain a child's sense of fantasy throughout adulthood. The EMPATHIST plays with special people. a tense baseball game. EMPATHISTs play as a part of a relationship. Ph. too? REALIST: Huh? I don't think so. and few EMPATHISTs share the REALIST's concept of WORK AND PLAY. When the EMPATHIST and the REALIST pair up. EMPATHIST: Then it'll be just the three of us? © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Lee invited me to go to the mountains this weekend! EMPATHIST: Wonderful. or an exciting skiing weekend. lovingly packed away in a gunny-sack to be recalled as a part of the relationship. sadness. the feelings. it's tolerated only as a means to create time and money for play! Most EMPATHISTs don't know how to separate their identities from their mission in life. sure.is work (necessary and boring). The REALIST is the master of camaraderie. To summarize the conflict as it's most often experienced: REALIST: Hey. REALISTs don't play so they can retrieve the memory of the play—although they certainly do remember every last detail of a great camping trip. The REALIST enjoys people. What does the EMPATHIST remember? The emotional tone. Don't mistake my meaning: EMPATHISTs do enjoy playing. disappointment. is Jan coming.
When the REALIST decides impulsively to "Go for it!" early in a relationship with an EMPATHIST. You know you don't like to hike. Can't you ever just lighten up? The EMPATHIST mate may be an uncomfortable visitor to the REALIST's physical." The EMPA- © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J.. EMPATHIST: But. here-and-now world. I don't think we've been spending enough time with each other and it's hurting our relationship. EMPATHIST: I'm not going. RoBards. every gesture.REALIST: Three? No. The word feelings may become so contaminated that it becomes a trigger for both mates of everything that's wrong with the relationship..D. I've been looking forward to spending this weekend with you. I want to understand your feelings. We just wanted to do some hiking. no. no real mission in life. EMPATHIST: Can't I come. You don't understand. with no appreciation of what is real. I want to know you better. too? REALIST: And spend the weekend working on our relationship? I want to have some fun. atheoretical (often-uncommitted). too? REALIST: Well. every glance. Ph. Lee invited me to go to the mountains. The REALIST type may retort that the EMPATHIST lives in a fantasy world. The REALIST type may get bored with the EMPATHIST's continual analysis of what everything means. spontaneous. The EMPATHIST may accuse the REALIST of having no vision. the endless search for significance in every comment. the EMPATHIST may mistake the REALIST's zeal for EMPATHIST-variety "falling in love. 67 . REALIST: Feelings! There you go again! I'm going hiking with Lee. every silence. The EMPATHIST may be hurt and misled by the REALIST's concept of ROMANCE.
68 . but—since one is a sensor and the other an intuitive—each invalidates the very basis of the other’s reality! Eventually. unless the EMPATHIST happens to be an organized judging type and the REALIST is one who prefers thinking. have a good time with it. in which case. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. REALISTstyle. but rather by putting time and energy into just making money. of course. The REALIST's idea of wealth is taking vacations and buying things to enjoy today. except to then spend it. rather than on good times. it's unlikely that the EMPATHIST will ever be completely satisfied with romance. and toys (unless. differences in their attitudes about MONEY will probably come into conflict when the EMPATHIST and the REALIST mate. vacations. In fact. there's not likely to be a budget for many EMPATHIST-REALIST pairs. Even if this pair mates in a relatively stable relationship. Ph. the EMPATHIST sees the latter expenditures as enhancing the relationship with the REALIST. they improve their chances of compatibility over the long haul of the relationship. The REALIST may not want to save it. anything goes!) The EMPATHIST finds it easy to spend money on the home and loved ones. To be sure.D. RoBards. The REALIST will be more materialistic—not necessarily in the sense of developing investments or amassing a fortune. with the EMPATHIST allowing feelings and emotions to guide the use of the checkbook and the REALIST allowing impulse and the quest for good times and toys to dictate the budget. The EMPATHIST and REALIST combine their financial attitudes disastrously at times. if both are feelers and share their extraverted or introverted attitudes.THIST may be swept away by the passionate momentum of the actionoriented REALIST. EMPATHISTs usually find it easier to spend money on purchases related to their personal development and the search for meaning in life. only to feel betrayed later as the REALIST retreats when the EMPATHIST murmurs words of love and life-long commitment.
From many EMPATHISTs’ viewpoint. The REALIST finds it baffling that the EMPATHIST might want to read a text book on psychology or philosophy or take a college extension course—for fun! The REALIST can get excited about instruction. cars. spirituality. romance. suffocating. will probably amaze the REALIST. clothes. harmony. The EMPATHIST's fascination for metaphysics. eccentricity and personal depth. selected reflexively for their "go get 'em" participation in common activities. scuba diving. selected reflexively for their warmth. feeling person. music listening.The EMPATHIST is a spiritual. travel. concertgoing. these are poor examples of personal enrichment programs. film watching. or the like may convince the REALIST that the EMPATHIST doesn't want to live life. Especially the thinker-type REALIST simply has no understanding of the EMPATHIST's needs for connection. Life with the REALIST may be a totally draining experience for the spiritually focused EMPATHIST. The EMPATHIST's attraction for life-long learning and personal development is totally beyond the REALIST's comprehension. intelligence. a noose around the neck. will probably impress the EMPATHIST as "not very deep. just find out about it! The EMPATHIST's circle of friends. serious reading (as in “literature” or personal development). At times." "They never discuss anything beyond the here-and-now. and—without intending to do so—the REALIST may continually tread on the EMPATHIST's tender feelings.D. hobbies. 69 . appreciation and attention. but usually about business or money-making. The REALIST's circle of friends. sports." the EMPATHIST may say critically. Ph. tennis or golf—or maybe if the topic is real estate or stock market investments. who may regard this eclectic group as a throwback to the 60's. RoBards. mystery or adventure. creativity. skiing. museum browsing. whose life is a journey toward better understanding of self and others. stifling. or at least a wet sheet: cramping. the EMPATHIST may give the REALIST a feeling of a straightjacket. And the REALIST does read. pottery. inhibiting movement and freedom. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. but only if the course is about print-making. crafts.
THE REALIST MAY COME TO REGARD THE EMPATHIST AS A MARTIAN. indeed. Then the REALIST may simply leave. WITH ONE AN INTROVERT AND THE OTHER AN EXTRAVERT. The REALIST usually will try to ignore the criticism for as long as possible. the EMPATHIST may complain of hurt feelings and criticize the REALIST for lacking sensitivity. Needless to say. especially if the REALIST is a thinker-type. even the feeling-type REALIST may fail to meet the EMPATHIST’s expectations for eternal romance and passion. RESPONSIBILITY. the exclusive province of the intuitivefeeler! Especially the introverted and judging EMPATHIST may find the REALIST’s sexual spontaneity a challenge. WITH NO SENSE OF SPIRITUALITY. IMAGINATION. RoBards. OR MISSION IN LIFE. THE CHALLENGE MAY BE DOUBLED! © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. Ph. Then there may be real fireworks! As a parting comment. (“In the elevator!?” you may eavesdrop. COMMITMENT.D. NOTE: THESE PREDICTABLE CRISES ARE MORE LIKELY WHEN THE REALIST IS A THINKER AND/OR THE EMPATHIST PREFERS THE JUDGING ATTITUDE.Day in and day out. when it comes to SEX. 70 . Conflict is wearing and draining to REALISTs. 2. and—given a chance—they'll avoid it at all costs.) Predictable crises for this combination 1. THE EMPATHIST MAY COME TO REGARD THE REALIST AS A MARTIAN. WITH NO SENSE OF FUN OR REALITY. these conflicts are most pronounced when the REALIST is a thinker type and the EMPATHIST is a judging type. Cosmic love is.
2. AND A NEW OPENNESS TO LEARNING AND DEVELOPING AS A PERSON. TEACH THE EMPATHIST TO LET GO OF THAT OVERBEARING PREOCCUPATION WITH THE "MEANING" OF LIFE AND THE "SIGNIFICANCE" OF RELATIONSHIPS. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J.Possible benefits for this combination 1. Ph. A TOLERANCE FOR PHILOSOPHY AND SPIRITUALITY. THE EGO-IMPORTANCE OF ONE'S SPIRITUAL MISSION. RoBards.D. AN APPRECIATION OF VALUES AND FEELINGS. 71 . THE REALIST MAY LIGHTEN THE EMPATHIST UP A BIT. AND LIVING IN THE WORLD OF FUTURE POSSIBILITY. THE EMPATHIST MAY HELP THE REALIST DEVELOP A SENSE OF COHERENCE TO WORK AND LIFE. RATHER THAN PRESENT REALITY.
They remained intimidated.D. Psychology has a dark and well-deserved history for personality testing." They explained that there are no right or wrong answers to the questions on the MBTI: that all types are equally good. clergy and others have expanded and clarified the work. thousands of psychologists. educators. Since Jung. which of those two processes you prefer. Ph. usually the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (the MBTI)™Consulting Psychologists Press. While Isabel Myers and Katharine Briggs' contributions to the development of Type-Temperament Theory cannot be overstated. But people did not necessarily believe those protestations when they saw a booklet of questions. Carl Jung. By characterizing yourself and others in these four ways. tracing its roots back nearly a century to the seminal work of Dr. human resources specialists. People understandably feel intimidated by the process of exposing their souls to strangers.TYPE-TEMPERAMENT THEORY: ORIGINS AND CAVEATS Type-Temperament Theory is scientifically based. 72 . how you base your decisionmaking. caused many to answer the questions cautiously and © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. the great Swiss-born analytic psychologist. RoBards. in turn. until now it is the number one approach to understanding individual differences in the world. since most of it has been based on the assumption that there are proper traits to exhibit. and whether you are inclined to deal with the world in an extraverted or introverted attitude. you open the door to powerful insights about all the relationships in your life. and the more of the trait you have the better a person you are. That intimidation. using their psychological test posed practical and ethical problems in terms of helping people discover their personality type. determining your four preferences typically involved the use of paper-and-pencil psychological testing. a computer-scorable answer sheet and a sharpened pencil sitting on the desk waiting for them. Myers and Briggs tried to assuage people's fears by calling the instrument an "indicator." rather than a "test. Prior to the development of The Insight Game. Type-Temperament Theory describes the biological cornerstones of your self: how you prefer to take in information.
D. Some people abused the MBTI. leading to personality descriptions which were often incorrect. In the worst cases.often inaccurately. abilities. © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J. reducing their individuality to a four-letter code. it is certainly no comprehensive measure of attraction or compatibility. recognizing the personality type of a consultant you are considering engaging will help you decide pro or con with your eyes wide open as to key behaviors he or she is likely to exhibit over the course of the relationship. but. or mental balance—and all of these contribute to the overall view of personality. Some organizations used the MBTI to rule people out of particular positions in the working world. misguided human resources specialists actually forced all the people in a business or team to take the instrument and then summarized the group with only a sixteen-celled chart. Some people have used it as a crowbar or sledge hammer. RoBards. even though it can provide some valuable insights into how an individual will approach a particular job or task. ethics. Ph.or temperament-related aspects of various careers can save people a lot of grief by helping them avoid certain positions which will not make the best use of their natural gifts. Such "type charts" are incredibly useful and informative to groups learning about Type-Temperament Theory. It makes no effort to describe people's intelligence. In too many businesses the MBTI has been abused by pigeon-holing people. assuming that the portrait of personality it provided represented a comprehensive view of the individual. they scarcely describe the humanity of the people or the particular challenges facing them as a group. Type-Temperament Theory is a tool. 73 . drive. Type-Temperament Theory wasn't meant to be used in that way either. Some counselors actually cautioned couples against marriage on the basis of their MBTI results! Even though Type-Temperament Theory can predict important ways in which people will agree and disagree in a loving relationship. Recognizing the type. But TypeTemperament Theory never was intended to be used in that way. By the same token. by themselves. not as a mirror or paintbrush—the way it was intended.
a potential for initiative and creation. Boldness has genius. It will put you more in charge of all your relationships. RoBards.All of those abuses exist potentially for The Insight Game. Commit your self to its playing. knowledge of this system will elevate your self-esteem and increase your appreciation of others in your life. A producer may emerge. you can experience only defeat. The corporate philosophy of RoBards Counseling & Consulting speaks to the best use of Type-Temperament Theory and The Insight Game. Other actors may arrive. And you may find the theatre you need. The purpose of this file is to advise against succumbing to such pitfalls. you have no chance of winning. Goethe said: 'Whatever you can do. Find your role. "Until you are on your own side. power and magic in it. Used appropriately. Insight is the discovery that you can take care of yourself and support your fellow man at the same time.' If you retreat from your creation because you cannot envision the means of its support.D. begin it. Ph. or dream you can. As long as you are opposing others. then surely. kindly. You do not exist apart from the rest of the universe You are a ray of its energy. 74 . and with a generous spirit. no support will materialize. And an audience may assemble © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J.
Ph." © COPYRIGHT 1996 Martine J.to help you realize your dreams and accomplish other destinies.D. 75 . RoBards.