Muhammad Ali: Champions aren t made in gyms.
Champions are made from something they have deep inside them. | Zoom It can be like rocket science, this business of conversing with men. I m convinced of it. Through practice, observation and research, I venture to say that there seem to be no similarities whatsoever between the communication patterns of men and women. Even if a man and a woman are on the same topic of conversation, more often than not their purpose for engaging in it, comprehension of what was exchanged and insights taken away end up being polar opposites. Try a little social experiment for yourself. Ask your parents, siblings, friends or any two people of opposite genders to talk about a topic of your choice. Then get back to each for a detailed rundown on what was discussed. Prepare to be surprised because one might as well have been conversing in Greek and the other in Latin. Believe me, the disparity can be remarkable. The differences start at the onset the physical aspect of it. According to linguistics professor and bestselling author Deborah Tannen, women always talk face to face, whether with each other or with men; men, on the other hand, like to sit parallel to or at an angle from whomever they are conversing with, be it man or woman.
they swivel their seats at a slight angle away from the speaker. Meanwhile. We like to make kwento in case we stumble upon juicy chismis or sundry concerns. there are no patterns. big and small our own as well as our neighbors and our neighbors neighbors along the way. Manila traffic is like Russian roulette: it involves pure luck. Didn t I just talk about Russian roulette and Manila traffic needlessly two paragraphs ago? Well. If the venue is a boardroom. our favorite sport well. Couple this with their preoccupation with fixing things anything and you get a species that only converses on an as-needed basis. Notice how they overanalyze what the best route is to their destination? They factor in time. it always takes succeeding lunches and coffees). Only the heavens can tell what traffic flow will be like at any given moment. day of the week. In contrast. again watching TV. I m convinced men validate their manhood by getting their hands dirty by fixing broken stuff the more menial the job. Conversing is. women converse for exploratory purposes. problem solvers. which is exactly what I m doing now for the purposes of establishing the point. the more testosterone replenishing. and weather conditions and. now it works better because I fixed it. they sit parallel to the other person on the sofa. We re women. we re allowed. they rarely face the other person squarely. all right. But not according to men. if at home. cell phones and ambient noise and activity. If we re caught in heavy traffic. they are preoccupied with the TV tuned in to the sports channel. they dismantle something that is in perfect working condition and reassemble it just so they can say. by nature. they predict traffic volume and plot a driving course that is foolproof. second to shopping. We also tend to conduct conversations in circular patterns yes. we can simply have a temper tantrum. In the absence of such. that s a case in point. women tend to tune in to their conversation partner 100 percent and stay in full frontal focus until the last sigh is uttered. If nothing fruitful comes out of the conversation (nothing is ever accomplished during initial talks among women. as you know) with lots of asides and digressions. Men are purpose-oriented. We spend an inordinate amount of time in conversation because we tend to be long-winded and very detailed (God is in the details. they deem it a waste of time. Come on. all women care about is getting from point A to point B. they need to have a reason to converse. There. given these variables.When men talk at close range. after all. or beside the other in bed. Nothing is ever for naught. if it s at a restaurant.
. Men also are. if it s at a sports bar. Unlike men. who think they can trump the celestial powers that regulate Manila roadways. it is always written off as exercise in female bonding. then. they re stooped over their food or drink or are distracted by their watches. otherwise.
But seriously. tea and cocktails. Oh. beginning with a clear objective. Men s thought processes are quiet so their speech is deliberate and concise. s Isang Bala Ka Lang. Women are. some of the most meaningful and insightful conversations I ve ever had were with men. and a solution to converse. we don t always have a point (the point is to chitchat hello!). I ll be back! Clint Eastwood s. It is never idle. the number of the best hairdresser in town let s not forget that one. what comes out of their mouths has already been hashed and rehashed in their brains. It gives us reason to get together and talk some more to figure out the reason why we got together in the first place. Those things don t really matter to us as much as group hugs and good wine. you know. Most of the time. Unlike them. mindless chatter. They may not talk much but the nuggets of wisdom found in the few. so they use delivery to make every single one count. It s life-affirming for us. select words they do utter are worth their weight in gold. they want it short. women use run-on sentences that don t really ever finish because our thought processes are verbal and circuitous. that sort of thing. sweet and over in a flash.Men. What s the fun in that? Women love being in limbo it s all about the drama. That s the reason they come up with powerful and insightful one-liners like Arnold Schwarzenegger s. by nature. a thesis. followed by a prescribed course of action or an agenda that leads to a resolution if not a keen awareness that one hasn t been reached. You notice how men are always in a hurry to move on to the next thing? In terms of conversation. are your nurturers and you. I suspect this has much to do with short attention spans and the predisposition to zone out after a few minutes. for the most part. legislators and protectors. Here are some nuggets:
. Our conversations don t follow logic. While men need a premise. our leaders. on the other hand. It makes us feel cared for and secure. and of course. We like to talk about the mundane: how each of us is doing in our respective time and space you know. We also use grand arm gestures and varied facial expressions to make it all animated and interesting. speak in linear patterns. all of which takes 15 minutes tops the only thing women need is a split-second sighting of someone else s ghastly outfit and that s a wholeday s worth of female bonding over brunch. caregivers. Men speak assertively because they are sparing in words. Plus. This is the reason why we. order or chronology. make my day and Fernando Poe Jr. Go ahead. hence the need to resolve it ASAP.
Jun del Rosario. Louie Ysmael (businessman): Mejor solo que mal accompanado. 12 (author s son): I want you to do what makes you happy. Dwelling on it is a waste of time. prepare for the best. When one fails you activate the next one immediately. Here are inspiring quotes from some of the world s most famous men: Plato: You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. Dalai Lama: I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. essayist.
. I am always here for you. university professor. we desire contentment. They never pursue another friend s girl ex. Ayrton Lilles. and so on. You understand? Bong Lopez. Butch Dalisay. Mac Jackson. Tony Lilles. columnist: What defines one s character is how he acts under duress. 70 (author s father): My parents were traditional. I will take care of you. 49 (businessman): Real men never hunt in their friends backyards. and take what comes. no matter what. In my own limited experience. Many can t let an opportunity to put you down pass. William Tan. I m still happy. From the very core of our being. Vince Lopez. current. 44 (businessman): When something bad happens. it is nobody else s business. you have to have a plan B and C. I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others. 40 (businessman/talent manager): Your personal life is your personal life. the greater is our own sense of well-being. They were not demonstrative but we knew they loved us. 42 (author s other brother): You can t go through life with just a plan A. But whatever happens.Oscar Lopez. Arnold Vegafria. university professor: One is only as smart as he can articulate himself. or future. It s done. That s why I don t always know how to show affection. let it go. 44 (author s brother): Be positive. (Better alone than badly accompanied. There s nothing you can do. multi-awarded writer. they have to say something to make you feel bad. novelist. Palanca Hall of Famer.) Francisco Guevarra. 51 (brother-in-law): You ll be surprised at how many joyless people there are. I don t let it bother me. 52 (hotelier): Hope for the best. move on.
to leave the world a bit better. Oscar Wilde: Women were made to be loved. the last quote is a personal favorite. in settling for a life that is less than
. Franklin D. John F. Roosevelt: Men are not prisoners of fate. Albert Einstein: Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute. whether by a healthy child. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour. a vision. and it seems like an hour. and it seems like a minute. Nelson Mandela: There is no passion to be found in playing small the one you are capable of living. my mantra: Ralph Waldo Emerson: To laugh often and much. Kennedy: A man does what he must in spite of personal consequences. not understood. You may reach me at cecilelilles@yahoo. a garden patch to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.com. to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children. to appreciate beauty. That s relativity. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them a desire. Muhammad Ali: Champions aren t made in gyms.Abraham Lincoln: People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. to find the best in others. And finally. but only prisoners of their own minds. in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures and that is the basis of all human morality. This is to have succeeded! *** Thank you for your letters. a dream.