We need to speak up for each other…. Now!

A help forum?

Help desperately wanted! Applicants apply within ASAP… Signed

by The Woman of today.
The vacancy advert becomes a clearer image as I write…
I was almost not going to send the message for this week because I
believed I had not heard what the Lord had spoken to me and I did
not want to be guilty of heresy.
I have a standing agreement (with God) when I don’t hear, I don’t
write. I must say that I didn’t hear because I did not make the time
available to, so it’s all on me here i.e. the fault.

I am reminded of a conversation I have had more than a dozen

times; at both formal and informal settings, with friends and
strangers alike, male and female contributors. A topic we will agree
is very interesting such that unless we consciously bring the
conversation to an end, we can never ‘bed’ it… WOMEN!! We all
can individually recall conversations we have had even within our
hearts and of course with God. The woman is a wonderful creation
of God. I’m sure we have at one time or the other received chain
emails or text messages avidly describing the God endowed
attributes of the woman: her strengths in times of weakness, her
unending love, her resilience in the midst of extremely challenging
phases, her rock solid backbone in seemingly hopeless situations,
her strong faith and hope in times of despair etc. The woman is
indeed a celebrated creation of God.
Proverbs chapter 31 verses 10 – 31
Verse 10 b she is worth far more than rubies (she is
regarded as a rare gem/ very valuable)
Verse 11 her husband has full confidence in her and lacks
nothing of value
Verse 12 she brings him good and not harm all the days of
her life
Verses 13 –19, 25. My Summary: she is a diligent,
industrious and profitable worker
Verse 20 she is generous to those in need.
Verses 21-22 she is proactive: ‘when it snows she has no
fear for her household for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes covering for her bed. She is clothed in fine linen
and purple (expensive and regal/royal clothing)
Verse 23 (her good reputation rubs off on her husband and
elevated him to a noble status) Her husband is respected at
the city gate where he seats among the elders of the land
Verse 26 she is regarded as a woman of strength and
dignity and has peace enough to laugh/ relax and not fret
because she planned and executed her plans well ahead.
Verse 27 she is regarded as an intelligent woman and pays
attention to detail with no time for idle chatter.
Verses 28- 31 she is recognised by all (her husband, her
children and the city) for her good work.

It however seems that the accolade is either short-lived or selective.

She is praised only when she has done something that deserves
recognition. The minute she ‘drops the ball’ the rain of curses come
down at a faster pace than the praises. They cut deeper and the
damage lasts longer that the scars sometimes never completely
disappear even from physical and emotional sight.

I recall separate conversations of the last 2 days in different settings

though my best friend Tokunbo was at both and yes the topic was
women. The first day was with my ‘long lost but now found’ Lagos
celebrity secondary school father who captivated us with his tale of
‘I was blind but now I see’ - so we got to hear the male perspective.
The second day was an all girls forum; Tokunbo along with her elder
sister who happens to be a Court Judge gave us from a different
angle (married, working class and experienced/matured).

The bible shows us how the way man is created is different from the
creation of woman. Man, He created from the scratch Genesis
chapter 1 verse 27 and woman He created from the rib of man
Genesis chapter 2 verse 21 (improved version I’d like to say). I
remember a friend who worships at H.O.T.R. (House on The Rock)
said Pastor Paul in a sermon that’s almost 8 years old referred to
the creation of woman as the American speck of man (For the
benefit of non- Nigerian sistas, it’s a belief in Nigeria that American
cars are upgraded with better and more fanciful finishing details
that make a preferable choice when buying cars).

I am currently reading ‘Rich Woman: A book on investing for

women subtitled ‘because I hate being told what to do’ by Kim
Kiyosaki, wife of best seller writer Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor
Dad) and I haven’t finished chapter 4 but I already note my error
spots and have started acting out my plans of change. I have
selected my favourite from a list of 20 bullet points she wrote. She
says, ‘Here are a list of a few stupid things that many of us women
do when it comes to money.
• We marry for money (alarm bells seriously blasting)
• We stay in bad marriages or relationships because we are afraid
we can’t make it financially on our own.
• We let a man make all our key financial decisions
• We accept the myth that men are better with money
• We put up with inequalities on the job, for a paycheque
• We won’t challenge a man’s financial decision because we don’t
want to rock the boat and hurt his ego.
• We keep quiet to keep the peace
• We hang on too long because (at least financially) we are
comfortable.
• We’re left behind for younger women because… we hung on too
long.
• We hope the man will change
• We often look into the future and think, “someday…” (My
translation: one-day e go better).

How about Today!!!!!

If we reflect on which of these resonates with us I’m sure we would

tick almost all. Kim says ‘ the real crime is the toll it takes on our
self esteem, confidence and self worth.’
Note here, we are referring to all issues that ‘plague’ and not about
money matters alone.
Its about that time we make a conscious effort to restore our lost
glory. Get back what the devil has for so long stolen from us. Some
of us may not even know our proper position because we have
never taken the time to read and study the bible. It’s almost
impossible to think the woman being described in Proverbs 31 is the
very same woman that Kim describes in her book. Talk about
opposite sides of the same coin but that’s the reality of the woman
today. On Sunday, we talked at length about the Woman (single and
married) Between the 3 of us we had stories or experiences of
people we knew individually and how the ‘common’ issues permeate
all ages. We readily agreed the way forward would be to take
charge of the situation.

Its time to take a stand!

One of the outcomes of our Sunday conversation is to create a

forum for The Woman (single, married, young and old, working class
or stay at home, 9 to 5er or private entrepreneur) to meet to
discuss, share, encourage, pray and teach one another. We aspire
to get to a regular face to face meeting date but for today we will
start by sending the black berry pin numbers to my email address to
create a group ‘sistas’. (Forgive us if we presume too hastily that we
all have bbs). Here we could meet more often than the weekly
messages and for a number of us who need ‘instant’ feedback from
one of us who has been there and we can learn from each other.
Ideas from everyone are of course welcome. When we truly begin to
take up one another’s burden only then can we truly say we are
sisters.
The Amplified version: Galatians chapter 6 verse 2:
Bear (endure, carry) one another’s burdens and
troublesome moral faults, and in this way fulfil and
observe perfectly the law of Christ (the Messiah)
and complete what is lacking (in your obedience to
it).

God bless you my sister.

Funmi Suleman