“The Traditional Filipino Courtship”

Filipino women are obessed with the phrase :

"Bola Mahal kita, mahal kita, hindi ito bola."

Which means "I love you, I love you, I am not joking"

However deep down, Filipino women know that words are just - words. Nice to say and
good to hear. This is the Filipino cultural attitude
to language, they are taught not to believe anything they hear.

 How to prove your sincerity:

Filipina women also knows that words are sweet and talk is cheap. So do not
go spraying any filipina women you see with the phrase "Mahal Kita hindi ito
bola".

She is looking for evidence of your sincerity, if you say you love her, then she
will give you an opportunity to prove it, actions for a filipina woman speak
louder than words.

So if you promised to see her in the Philippines, make sure you do just that;
book a flight and see her.

If you did what you have promised, that is enough evidence for the filipino
woman to believe that your love for her is true. The mere fact that you turn up
to be with her reveal your love and intentions.

Home Run

The Home run is said to be achieved once the filipina girl has formally
accepted your love. This is a reflection of love between the suitor and the
dalagang filipina, the receiver of the love.

Once the affections and love is acceptable to her, the couple become
Magkasintahan, that is the term for lovers.

Only after the filipina woman has accepted your affections and love will she
consent to a full relationship which leads to her accepting a proposal for
marriage.

During this period of time, whether a sexual relationship may begin depends
on the individual filipina girl. Some of them will not consent to a sexual
 relationship until after marriage which still exists in some families. Family
opinions are normally sought in this type of matter.

Tips to win your Filipina woman:

 Do not bring your Western Style attitude to Traditional Filipino Courtship

rituals
 show that you are mindful of local traditions and can make positive
adjustments to the Filipino culture
 Filipino women are quite impressed with a nice bright smile, a friendly
conversation and courtesy shown to all those around you
 Respect for Filipino women is very much appreciated

Filipino Courtship Customs - Courting a Filipina

The Friendly Beginning

Often the starting point of a relationship is a friendly date. The couple will go out
together in public places as friends only and will be accompanied by other friends. During
this stage of courting there will be no public displays of affection, the man has to be discreet
and friendly or he will be accused of being too arrogant. It is too early for kissing or holding
hands at this point.

Discreet Dating

That is the second stage of Filipino courtship and now couples may go out together
without the company of their friends. Again, the keyword here is “discreetly”.

Filipino women cannot afford to be fast, they are expected to be pakipot (hard to get)
because it is seen as an appropriate behavior when they are courted. A Filipino girl never
shows her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately.

Playing hard to get is one way by which the Filipina can measure the sincerity of the
man interested in her. It also lets her show the man that he has to work hard to win her love.
Some courtships may last for years before the woman accepts her admirer’s love and they
become magkasintahan, a term for boyfriend-girlfriend.
Taking the Relationship Public

After some time the couple may decide to come out in the open about their romance.
At this time they will inform their family and friends about their relationship. Every man who
wants to be taken seriously by a Filipina is obliged to visit her family and introduce himself
formally to her parents. It is rather inappropriate to court a Filipino girl and formalize the
relationship without informing the girl’s parents.

There is a tacit rule here that says: “When courting the Filipina you are not courting
just her, you are courting the entire family”. Following this rule will help you earn her respect
by entrusting her family with high regard.

There are certain traditions that have to be observed when visiting the Filipina’s
family. For example, if the man wants to be acceptable to the girl’s family, he has to give
small gifts (pasalubong) every time he drops by her family's house. If you have any
questions regarding which traditions you should observe, you may discuss them with the
older siblings.

Engagement and Marriage

After being a couple with your Filipina for quite a time and decide to get married, the
first thing you should do is pamanhikan (ask the girl’s parents for her hand). More about this
tradition and those following it you can find in our article “Filipino Wedding Customs”.

When courting a Filipino woman you will find that she is shy and reserved even when
holding great feelings for you. This is a part of her culture and even for a Western man there
is no way around that. You should treat your Filipina with respect, lead the courtship with
your heart and you may find a lifetime partner that will enrich your life as you have never
imagined.
 Elective Course
(8:00-11:00 Saturday)

Filipino Traditional Courtship

By:

Christina Bernadeth M.Eule

(B.S.N –III A)