1

'waiter, I'm thirsty,'

'Wa it a minute and I'll bri nq YOLA some water,'

'I said .. , ,I

PICTLIL<t: CHo\\' - ELE\ICi':T;\HY ENGLISH

'My father and I know everything in the world/ S8yS little Jimmy to his friend.

'All right,' S8yS the friend, 'Where is Asi8?'

'Well, that is one of the things .... '

PICTL1[{E CROW - ELEl',[F,l\.T.-\Ri'E.NGLISII

3

'Howald are you, little boy?' asks an old man.

ISix/ answers the little boy. 'Six? But you are not as tall as my umbrella!'

The little boy stands up and asks: 'Howald ... ?'

PICTlfHF. CHOW - ELE~IENTi\I{Y ENGLISII

'0 idn't you see that yo u

were driving down 8 one-way street? Didn't you see the arrows!'

'Arrows? I didn't even .... '

PrCTl"IU:: CROW - ELF.i\ICNTARY Exot.rsu

I Excuse mel s i rl but I. ca nit believe what your dog is doing.'

'Franklv. it surprises mel too, ..... '

PICTURE CROW - EU:i\J ENTAI<Y ENGLISII

'When I look at you r pa inti ngs I really don't understand _,

'How I do it?'

PICTLTRE CIW\v - ELE .... 1ENTARY ENGL1SII

6

'You look sad/ what's the matter!'

'Two weeks ago my aunt gave me $200/000.1 'That's great! I

'Yes. Then last week I won $700,000 on the tottery.' (That's wonderful!'

'Yes) but '

N

lJ

PICTLIRE Cuow - ELE:i\IEi':TARi ENGliSH

'To be) or not to be) that ... , "

Perhaps the most famous stage quote of all time!

8

PICTl'HE CRO\\' - EI.E~IENTt\I{Y ENGLISH

o

9

Jl~l r

~ 00: i

H

'The last ti me I ca me to the cinema, popcorn W8S only 15 cents.'

'well, sir} then you'll really have 8 good time tonight.

'V

'V

v

~B> B_H

'V

'V

Teacher: 'Kate, give me 8 sentence startinq with 'I',' Kate: 'I is ".,'

Teacher.: 'No Kate. A[w8Ys S8Y, '18m','

Kate:' 'All right, I am the ninth letter .. , ,.'

~:: ~

10

E

@'H

P[CTLIRE CROW - EI.F.i\II~;NTARY ENGLISH

'I forget - are we poisonous?' 'Why do you want to know?'

'- ___. 'I .. ,,'

@

,

P[CT\"RE CROI\' - ELEi\IENTAny ENGLISH

Jersey} Guernsey} Aldernev and Sark form this island group - the closest of the British Isles to France

a

'I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald.'

'Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm, never heard of it Let me see, Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed! and I can't find it on the map. Where is Norwaldl anyway?' 'Over there. He's my .... '

Ptc'ruuz CROW - Er~Ei\rENTt\RY ENGLISH

Two ladies are havinq gin and tonic In 8 bar One S8YSI (My husband's an anqel.' The other S8YSI 'Re8lly? '" "

PICTURE CHOW - ELEi\IENTARY El"GLISf-i

A natu r8l wonde r at the US/C8n8di8n border between t.ake Erie and l.ake Ontario

A

B

A siqnature always tells us 8 lot about 8 person's character - and sometimes ....

PICTURE CIWW - ELl,~IENTARj' ENGLISH

7

'Jimmie,' said the teacher, 'why don't you wash you r face? I

can see what you had for breakfast this morning.'

'What was it?'

'Eggs.'

'Wrong, teacher. That ... ,I

PICTllRE CROW - ELDIENTr\RY ENGLISH

Teacher: 'in this box! I have a lO-foot snake.'

Sammy: (You can't fool mel Teacher) snakes ... '

v

PICTLlIU: CRO\\' - EU;;j\JENTi\RY ENGI,[SI-I

9

'Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.'

'But that's terrible! I'l( speak to your teacher about this. By the way! what was it that you didn't do?!

'It .. , "

E

o

... of Adrian Mole aqed 13 3/4

(by Sue Townsend)

P[CT(iRE CRm\" - EI.F.\lEi':TARY E:--':GLiSH

7'

before dinner. '00 you pr8y

I

'Na, my " ..

'II .. ~y ENC;1.1S

'Doctor, please come at once. My son has swallowed my pen!'

'Don't worry) r'll be there in fifteen m mutes.'

'Andwhat shou ld I do LI ntil you arrive?'

The old ...

..

A famous short story by Hemingway

..

rICTL RE CHOW - ELEi\IENTARY Ei'\(:I.ISH

o

Avoid the 5 o'clock rush - alwavs ....

T

CRO\\' PIC;Tl-RE - Elementary English

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