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FADE IN: EXT. OVER ATLANTIC OCEAN - DAY A Pan-Am commercial airliner soars over the water. SUPER - FEBRUARY 7 1964 SUPER - FIFTY MILES OUT OF NEW YORK CITY WILLIAM(O.S.) This is William Jones from Radio WKIP, broadcasting live on the Beatle's jet from England. We are very close to landing at John F Kennedy Airport. I'm talking to John Lennon... INT. JET - DAY The other Beatles - PAUL, GEORGE and RINGO - are scattered about the plane, talking to different reporters. William grins at JOHN. JOHN Well, it's nice to be here, innit? WILLIAM John, you must be getting very excited. JOHN Aye. Apparently, my meal's almost ready. WILLIAM Ha...um, now a serious question...are you and the other Beatles concerned by what's been happening in New York the last two days? JOHN You mean the snow? WILLIAM No, I'm talking about the zombie outbreak. JOHN Oh that... WILLIAM Are you worried your shows might be marred by disturbances? John laughs.
. John. We've always had disturbed people at our gigs. have you had a chance to see any zombie women on TV? PAUL Oh.so. LINDA And how do think they'll be? Compared to say. finally. Paul is making eyes at his interviewer.nods.. LINDA Paul. Do you fear for your safety. zombies. a pretty American columnist.. aren't they? Able to fend for themselves. not really. LINDA. I can't wait to meet some. In another seat. Liverpool is full of disturbed people. I guess. Ringo is being interviewed by an English reporter. and that of your band mates. JOHN No. English girls? PAUL Well. ROGER Ringo. thinks deeply.2. yeah. Ever since the Cavern.. WILLIAM Right. LINDA What if they become aggressive and try to rip your throat out? . they're bound to be more active. what do you and the other Beatles expect to find in America? JOHN Well. if the zombies get within biting range of you? Ringo frowns. ROGER. RINGO No. we've received word that Beatle fans are clashing with zombies at the airport as we speak.
giggles harshly. frowns. George stops talking. They're cool. GEORGE(CONT'D) Works every time. grins hideously. He ducks George's new swipe. The zombie slows. makes spastic faces. The zombie looks up.the sword neatly decapitates him. George chats to an elderly Scottish newsman. tries to duck. he is. charges on.. George steps back as the body crumples.. some of the zombies haven't made up their minds about the Beatles. The zombie GURGLES happily. scans the writing. RINGO Was. PAUL (shrugs) Shouldn't be any different to playing in Manchester. A HOSTESS appears with a food tray. A second zombie emerges from the toilet. KEITH.3. drooling. KEITH George. rushes down the aisle. George confronts him. George reaches under his seat. JOHN Nasty bugger.. yer sod. GEORGE(CONT'D) Would yer like an autograph. holds up pen and paper. Suddenly. GEORGE Aye. What do you think about them? GEORGE Oh. GROWLING. .. JOHN I meant you. hands it over. There's a commotion from the rear of the plane. George. I like the Beatles. He charges up the aisle. then? The zombie stops. a young male zombie. looks up. smashes out of the toilet. George signs the bit of paper. GEORGE Don't let him get to the cockpit! John stands up. pulls out a razor sharp sword. Too late.
sure. already a zombie. She slumps forward as the zombie lets her go. sends the tray CLATTERING. I have all your albums.Lennon.. . The boys are helpless They watch as the door slams shut. The zombie grabs her..4.. JOHN Leave her alone. does your ability with sharp objects run in the family? PAUL Oh. Paul wields the sword this time. you know.. The sword whistles over her to take off the zombie's head.time to buckle up. HOSTESS Well. the hostess springs up. Suddenly. GEORGE Must be the altitude. JOHN So. just as the door opens. dear.. Blood spurts onto the surrounding seats. He feeds on her neck. Merseyside Fences... anyone? Oh. Me Dad was a champion fencer.. Mr. RINGO Oh. you fiend! HOSTESS Oh. locks. The hostess lurches towards the cockpit. RINGO Olympics? PAUL No.I'm a huge fan. HOSTESS Tea. chomps viciously.. It's gonna be a rough landing. JOHN Call me John. Did lovely work with barbed wire. JOHN We've only made two.. HOSTESS John. GROWLING.
Thank Christ we've got the zombies isolated. The Beatles emerge. through the windows.5.and the Beatles have arrived on infected American soil. blow her head to pieces. into the terminal. POLICE OFFICERS try to help but their numbers are dwindling. COP 4 Is that jet gonna stop? They all watch as the Beatles jet heads towards the terminal. REPORTER Which one are you? Ringo? The hostess rips his throat out. COP 3 For now. with little trouble. A TV crew starts filming.. waving. The zombie hostess flies through the windscreen. the door of the jet opens. A REPORTER runs up with a microphone. SCREAMS and RIPPING sounds are heard over the intercom. COP 1 Have the Beatles arrived? COP 2 Landing now. Outside. It's still moving quite fast. through huge plateglass windows. INT. The screen goes black.. AIRPORT TERMINAL .DAY Utter chaos. everything is calm. The cops open fire. At the last minute it pulls up. . NEWSMAN . Humans are being bitten. I can see__ The zombie reporter jumps on him.. He peers out to the tarmac.. feet from the glass.. flood into the arrival lounge. gnaws into his chest. The fans break through the barriers. smiling. turning into zombies enmasse.thousands of Beatle fans clash with hundreds of zombies.. The NEWSMAN fronts the camera. Despite some minor skirmishes in the terminal.
6..nods.) Well..) YEAH.O.S. you'll have more than enough time to fight your way across the city to Manhattan. zombies snarl and drool. killing zombies by the dozen. SOUND MAN(O.. The saw WHIRRS into life viciously..O..we know what it's like! Your friends have all got tickets to see the Beatles.NOW! (clears throat) And now a word from our sponsors. AD MAN(V. glum. He flicks a switch. .. cut to a commercial. you'll be carving a swathe through the zombie hordes in no time! The boy runs to the window. limbs removed.) After a brief tutorial. YEAH.O. you can learn the bass lines of five..all new Paul McCartney signature Hofner bass chainsaw! ZING!! The boy suddenly has a guitar strapped on. shaking his head.YEAH.) As an added bonus. A small TV shows the Beatles onstage. we can change all that! You need the. count 'em folks. yes.) Ok. huh? The boy looks around. INT. He slices into the zombies. AD MAN(V... Beatle songs play in the background. smashes the saw through it.. Powered by a battery pack that lasts twelve hours. Imagine it.. FIVE Beatle songs.. frowns. BEDROOM . heads tearing. AD MAN(V..O. The body is the classic Hofner violin shape but the neck ends in a small spiked wheel.DAY a teenage boy sits on his bed.DREAM SEQUENCE The boy runs along ravaged streets. plucks the strings. AD MAN(V. At the window. but you're barricaded in your house. Those zombies. (drum roll) . MONTAGE . son..
Our delivery men will airdrop your purchase to you.) Call us now on 1-700-BEATLE. AD MAN(V. He laughs.THE BEATLES.) (speaks fast) Please note that Hofner takes no responsibility for misuse of product. the guitar gone. but over exuberant treatment and foolish bravado may result in customers underestimating the size of the zombie army.DREAM SEQUENCE The boys stands in his room again. AD MAN(V.. Hofner chainsaw guitars are made from high quality materials. we'll throw in a free plectrum cyanide capsule. Thank you and good hunting. facing the dozens of media people. The boy dials the number on a phone.. Girls fall at his feet sobbing as he holds the guitar aloft in triumph. Teenage girls follow the boy.. AIRPORT LOUNGE . END MONTAGE . please proceed to your rooftop. At last the boy is outside a theatre. talks excitedly. And for our customers who call in the next twenty minutes. For the unlikely scenario that things just don't work out. COP 1 We can't hold them for much longer! . A sign reads THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW PRESENTS . The boy gives the zombies at the window the finger.) After ordering your Hofner bass chainsaw. professing their love for him.O.. INT. continues to dissect zombies.O. AD MAN(V. SCREAMS and TEARING sounds from outside..DAY The Beatles stand behind a table. He heads out the door. (beat) And now its back to JFK.. for the Beatle's first press conference.7.O. Camera flash. At only forty four ninety five it's a steal. THUMPS. as the police barricade the doors...
and Hold Me Tight. REPORTER 2 What is the biggest threat to your career .dandruff or zombies? RINGO Zombies. RINGO It's not true! (does zombie walk) Ooooaargh. REPORTER 4 Is it true you re-recorded some songs for the zombie market? PAUL Yeah.. PAUL Yet..8. COP 2 The zombies or the Beatle fans? COP 1 Both! The media bombard the lads with questions. REPORTER 6 Some people believe the zombie virus is linked to your publicity department. Is it all a hoax? . We did 'Love Me Drool'.. REPORTER 1 What is the secret of your success? JOHN We're not zombies.we've already got dandruff. Not A Second Life'. REPORTER 5 You've been described as Elvis mixed with four zombies. I'm Decaying'. REPORTER 3 Will the zombie outbreak affect your future music? GEORGE Only if they catch us..
AIRPORT .DAY A limo waits at the front entrance. The Beatles race out. great. JOHN I've had enough of this. Beatle fans mingled with them. DRIVER Gaaarrr. hacking at the undead. The cops at the door YELL. this is our best reception yet! JOHN It's our Beatle charisma.9. PAUL Wow. It speeds off. aren't yer? RINGO If this was a horror film. .. it's a hoax! That was real fake.. GEORGE Always taking it down to your level. Zombies fling themselves at it.. INT. Cops surround it. LIMO . peaked hat. They climb into the limo. fighting off zombies and Beatle fans. zombie crash in.yes. EXT. The lads duck into the fray. getting crushed in the process. our driver would be a zombie..DAY The boys laugh as zombie parts fly off the car..uniform. his face is a ruined mess. The flesh is rotted through.. showing black teeth. PAUL Oh. JOHN Oh yeah. The driver turns his head. wielding their swords. Reporter five has his head ripped off. yer nob! COP 4 Quick. GEORGE Sounds like he's from Cleveland. The DRIVER is dressed immaculately . protect the Beatles! Get them out to the car. It brings together all manner of festering classes... The wood splinters.
10. Turns back to the wheel. Loved them right from the start. He leans forward. Two young girls. Me mum used to regale me with tales of battling ravenous blood suckers and parasites. LUCY Well. now you're a zombie. JOHN(CONT'D) Concentrate on the road. clips the zombie's head. Despite her facial horrors. I was only half bitten last week. She smiles as she knits. Nice boys.. I wouldn't miss it.. A group of diehards sit on the pavement across the street. PAUL Liverpool cemetery? JOHN No. RINGO Always had a way with the undead? Family tradition? JOHN Aye. I look like a zombie but I don't have their murderous nature. ZOMBIE GRANNY Well. A huge police cordon hustle the boys in.. Nods his foul head slowly. I tore the brains out of him still. ZOMBIE GRANNY Oh. . your lifespan will be much longer.. yes. it comes over as friendly. chat to an elderly ZOMBIE GRANNY. If I was fifty years younger. Christmas Day lunch with the rellies. LATER The limo pulls up outside the Plaza Hotel. RITA and LUCY. Mind you. What would your mother think? The driver seems to consider this. RITA I think it's wonderful you're here to see the Beatles. Fans SCREAM and fight lone zombies.
. The zombie granny blinks . ZOMBIE GRANNY . Lucy CLAPS her hands. ..but you've only knitted one sleeve on it. that's easily fixed. LUCY Is your husband still.11. fancy that! Silly old me. starts pulling. RITA Unless someone. with 'I LOVE THE BEATLES' embroidered on it. ZOMBIE GRANNY Well. dear. Said he'd always wanted to wipe out an entire suburb. It's a sweater. i don't mean to be rude. He was heading to Queens with his friends from bingo. There. Last I saw of him was yesterday. LUCY ...pus drips from one eye .. She laughs quietly.alive? ZOMBIE GRANNY Oh. yes.. sure. Rita high-fives the zombie granny's remaining hand. glance at each other. I'm done. The girls frown.. you can say it. RITA Um. The old zombie tosses the arm aside. The girls watch with interest... but.then giggles.decapitates me? It's ok. A TEARING sound as her arm rips away from her shoulder...ready to wear. She holds her knitting project. RITA So he was a zombie? ZOMBIE GRANNY Oh.. (beat) Oh. ZOMBIE GRANNY(CONT'D) There we go. She grabs her left arm with the other.
. hurries in.... Fans point up to the hotel. them zombies are tenacious buggers. BRIAN EPSTEIN. On the other side of the city. ZOMBIE GRANNY Oh. RITA That's right... George wanders over to the heavy drapes. LUCY You zombies are so self sufficent. Parasites.. HOTEL ROOM . they should__ SCREAMS from around them. there they are! The tenth floor....DAY The Beatles wave out of the windows. It was horrific! RINGO Aye.12.. you did make money for us from these parasites? There is a SCRATCHING sound at the windows.adaptive! We humans can learn from you. BRIAN Zombies? I'm talking about the local businessmen! All over me like fleas trying to make money off your name. They're all crazy. BRIAN Boys! Thank heavens you're safe. RINGO So this is New York. oh my. INT. JOHN And naturally.. I got stuck at the airport. The people who are giving the zombies bad press should just.well.act like a Roman zombie? GEORGE Yer all soft in the head. The Beatle's manager. JOHN . PAUL When in Rome. . so. smoke and flames are visible.
GEORGE Why? Zombies cover the windows outside! They hang off drainpipes and cleaning platforms. JOHN Well. Maybe millions. A couple of zombie cops snarl at the boys.. yes. son. haven't you.. A left handed bass is attached to the body. indignant.. Its dressed like a Beatle.these will sell by the thousands. RINGO That'd be right... laddie. completely lifelike. The Ringo doll is filled with maggots. PAUL Spitting alright. with a zombie head. The windows CRACK.that's real drool. The drummer always get kicked when he's down. George frowns. you've earned it. Some just stick to the glass via body fluids..13. PAUL Here! Is that meant to be me? He takes it from Brian. . yech! BRIAN (excited) Oh. PAUL Where's the bloody police when you need them? The windows SHATTER! Dozens of zombies and fans crash into the room. BRIAN Of course! He opens up his briefcase.. Examines it.ah. BRIAN(CONT'D) Zombeatles. I wouldn't do that... produces a doll. JOHN Spitting image of you. The SCRATCHING gets louder. George opens the drapes. Beatle fans and undead are mixed together..
They all run to the door except Ringo. Ring? Soothing wild creatures? RINGO Aye.we're always organised. .my nan's pension cheque day..14. The zombies gaze in awe at the object.She was a right nutter for the pub. Brian? BRIAN Not really. dear. He holds the zombeatle doll up in the air. JOHN There's the police. GEORGE To the roof! JOHN I'll second that. Stop complaining and RUN! BRIAN Oh. Everyone in the room stops. I'm a gay jew.. RINGO I'll fourth__ JOHN Shurrup! Jokes finished. Me granddad was an animal tamer. He hurls the doll at the zombies. GEORGE Does being prepared for all contingencies run in yer family then. The spell is broken. Everyone to the roof! I have a helicopter waiting.. PAUL Liverpool Circus? RINGO No. GEORGE You seem to have tamed the savage beast with your toy.. JOHN Does that run in your family..silence. PAUL I'll third that..
. PILOT Hi guys! Action aplenty. we know..one of them. FAN 2 Yeah. She triumphantly holds up a chewed piece of toast..the pilot would be a zombie..the Beatles hotel room. Brian opens the side door. before sharing the toast. FAN 2 Oh. long and hard. let's stay here. a small Bell Huey. New York City is chaotic. Let's go! BRIAN Thank__aargh. The Beatles will be back at some stage. Zombies teem in the streets. FAN 1 Should we go up to the roof? FAN 2 No. They rush out of the room.ate this! They both SIGH. The chopper PILOT turns from the controls. I feel faint. However. aargh! .. cover the buildings.15. HOTEL ROOF .. Fan 2 is examining the table. FAN 1 Wow. Around them. EXT.DAY The Beatles and Brian emerge from the stairwell. Too bad we misssed them.. The lads sprint to the chopper. we're really here. FAN 1 Who cares about zombies. RINGO If this were a movie__ GEORGE Yeah. The zombies and fans follow close behind. two female FANS stay and look about.. FAN 1 But I heard on the radio the zombies could take over the whole world..
get in! BRIAN I..the pilot's a zombie! RINGO Told you. GEORGE Ha! Chopped up by a chopper! INT. SHRIEKING. The chopper rises. JOHN It must be hard for you. Rotting teeth grimace out of a hideous mouth. PILOT No. PAUL Looks like our fabled career is over. the pilot's face is covered in festering sores. RINGO Two years is hardly a 'fabled career'.you're not? PILOT No! This is my natural look! Honest! Now..DAY The Beatles watch as the rooftop fills with the undead. JOHN I meant going through life so hideously revolting. PILOT I'm not a zombie! Hurry. the chopper goes up. The pilot shrugs. just as the pursuers reach it. A zombie launches himself at the chopper. COME ON! The Beatles and Brian clamber in. The streets below are a heaving mass of zombies and fans. bit is sliced into chunks by the rotor blades. lads. At the stairwell. JOHN What's wrong? BRIAN The pilot. John chats to the pilot.. Sure enough.... . CHOPPER . I just pull back on this stick.16... not really. the first wave of zombies and fans burst out.
A silence as even the wisecracking Beatles are stumped.ma'am? PILOT Hey. PAUL Still..17.now.. RINGO You have a wife? PILOT (laughs) No. PILOT Nah.. it just doesn't seem fair. Besides. Mr. my husband recently became a zombie. .. Sensitive... it was ok. JOHN Ouch. its. I was one of the better looking people in Cleveland. PILOT True! That's what my better half said! The boys wince. we off to the Ed Sullivan show? The theatre? RINGO Our show tonight! I'd almost forgotten about it. a husband. well. So our relationship has strengthened.. I'm used to it.. BRIAN I suppose you've been safe from the zombies? You could blend in. BRIAN I imagine the dinner conversation is interesting. GEORGE Ooh. PILOT Sure is. (beat) I'm actually a woman. PAUL We're sorry.
teenagers. STUDIO . we're the Beatles! Where's that old Liverpool spirit? GEORGE Yeah! We aren't letting some ugly.in seconds. LATER The chopper sets down on the Capitol Theatre building roof. (beat) No slight intended on present company. ED You're twenty minutes late! What sort of operation are you running. ED SULLIVAN gives orders. He shakes his head as the Beatles appear. Sullivan.... Its carnage. Armed soldiers escort the Beatles to the stairs.run. A gang of zombies appears.. Epstein? BRIAN I'm terribly sorry. . BRIAN Mr.. smashing into the soldiers. decaying filth stop us. lads!! INT. adults and a few zombies. the army guys are ripped apart.. It won't happen again. JOHN Hey. PILOT None taken! I'll radio ahead. JOHN Won't happen__we've just fought our way through the zombie apocalypse! Of course we're late! PAUL Yeah! Lucky to be here at all. Sullivan hired the best people to protect you.. Mr. JOHN Obviously he picked the lowest bidder.18.LATE AFTERNOON Cameramen and crew hurry around the studio. The audience seats are filling. PAUL Can we still do it? The zombies.
aargh. crating more zombies. zombies are biting humans. GEORGE Aaagh! They're here. PAUL That's right! Let's give them the greatest experience of their lives... He shivers. There just aren't enough humans left alive. JOHN So this could be our last ever gig.alright. . ED Well.. In the background. you obviously have different standards in Britain. Please get your gear ready! He storms off to the side. look at him... John SLAPS him hard... PAUL Why are there zombies in the crowd? BRIAN To fill the seats. lads. Now he sees Ed for the first time. George has been snooping around the studio. JOHN (low voice) Ed always looks like that.. Be subtle. GEORGE I. but not a zombie. ED You've got ten minutes till the show goes live. RINGO (murmurs) Maybe he's related to the chopper pilot. Takes him to one side.a zombie. (beat) An arsehole maybe.19.. Here.. you turn up no matter what. But. He's not a zombie.
Brian and ED.. The zombies in the seats get restless. The entire studio.20. . two. ZOMBIE 1 Gaaar.phffftt. tonight. will create another golden chapter in television history.. to cut straight to the chase... these four talented young men from Liverpool. RINGO . The lads strap on their guitars. The cameramen are all zombies. GEORGE Who.ladies and gentlemen. is a haven for the zombie horde. The audience. My vocabulary is totally unaffected as you can see.. live here in the studio. we're going live in three. one of his arms falls off.. the zombies? PAUL no. Suddenly. BRIAN But why aren't they attacking us? Ed sweeps in. His shirt rips open as his chest caves in with rot. ZOMBIE 2 Sssh! Why do we have to be shown as talking funny? It's not true for some of us at all! I have perfectly good control of my motor function cortex stem. yer daft sod. Ringo gets behind his kit. In a week of extreme events. Raaarggg. ED Because they aren't so brainless as to spoil MY show.. A great SQUELCH from his tattered pants. I've dispensed with the usual show intro.who are all now zombies.. get on with it. one. England. (beat) Ok. except for the Beatles.
gibber. Unfortunately....... ZOMBIE 1 Raar.. I have absolutely no control from the lower brain down. RINGO Wow. these are friends our ours. (beat) 'Congratulations to the Beatles. Suddenly.. Eddie baby. Ed pulls out a telegram. and successful time here in the U. Elvis a zombie? Who'd of thought? GEORGE (shrugs) He's been making horror movies for years.riiii. John stops playing. but not for long..S..you always were a dick.love Elvis Presley'.. ZOMBIE 2(CONT'D) (sighs) Of course... the king of rock and roll is now a zombie...Love Me Tender. Even before you converted.. ED Before the Beatles perform.. They jump and swarm towards the Beatles...drool. Five scruffy longhaired MEN run out from backstage. It doesn't look good.21.. ED Ladies and gentlemen. I'll read it out.. (MORE) .enjoyable trip. But he still wishes the Beatles a safe. Stan. I received a telegram from Elvis Presley himself.gaaargh... I took the liberty of arranging a little back up before we flew over.snarl.the Beatles! The boys start playing 'All My loving'. gives a loud WHISTLE.Heartbreak Hotel. The zombie audience sit still.. now what? More zombies? These are disgusting! JOHN No. ED God.
He runs off. John. It's a rough. MICK No worries. edgy SOUND. JOHN Well done. (beat) Well. now what? . Actually. ED You're not wrong! It's unbearable. Indeed.. The Beatles sprint to the cameras.. you sure this is a good thing? What if the Stones become bigger than us? We'll be out of a job. maybe in Cleveland and other cesspits. The zombies pause. I knew you could do it. PAUL Ok. Glad to help. lads. JOHN These images beamed around the country will stop any zombie. covering their ears. RINGO (frowns) John. GEORGE Nay. The Stones take over the Beatles instruments. Normal humans won't go crazy over them. Some explode in sheer frustration and anguish. some of them looked like our fans back home. Some start to WAIL and HOWL. PAUL It's working! The Stones music is great but can cause immense damage to the unprepared.22.. and start playing. have faith.. the zombies are curling up to die. John shakes Mick's hand. JOHN (CONT'D) Meet the Rolling Stones! Hey up. confused. I almost feel sorry for the zombies. Ringo. zoom in on the Stones performance. Zombies flail and hide as MICK's lips fill the screens. We didn't realise the zombie problem was so big over here. lads.
We've seen enough horror today. GEORGE What about the chopper pilot? JOHN Yes. JOHN Don't even think about it. George pops his head out.. then? GEORGE Probably hiding with Ed somewhere.. son.. Ringo opens his mouth to speak.23.and so.NIGHT John sits beside a bed. Ringo pops his head out. touring the Far East Australia and New Zealand.Ringo. GIGGLING from the bed. with a large storybook. Brian's shout. . He closes the book. son. thanks to the Beatles.. uh. come on. John leaps to put a hand on his face. laddie.. We have a big tour coming up tomorrow. (beat) Brian? Where's he gone. JOHN Party back at the hotel. INT. JOHN . JOHN(CONT'D) Take the mask off and settle down. Shapes are moving under the covers. Mr. we all did. Lennon? JOHN Aye.. PAUL Did everyone live happily ever after. the free world was saved from the zombie threat. JOHN(CONT'D) And now it's time for little Beatles to go to sleep. Paul pops his head out. her. He's a zombie. BEDROOM . even him.
END . He leaps at the camera.always let you down...24. don't they? 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' plays. FREEZE FRAME. spraying drool and bits of flesh. BLACK JOHN(O.S.) Bloody drummers. RINGO It's not a mask! I was bitten by a fan yesterday.