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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. SCOTT (O. grumbling. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. Scott winks at the camera.. demanding. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. RATING: AWESOME. MOTHER CHAU.. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. books scattering everywhere. 45. 22 YEARS OLD.S. Knives crouches down to pick up her books. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. sits next to her mother. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. THE BUS . Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. 2 KIM PINE Well.) Hey. She's Chinese. cute and innocent with clothes to match.. . TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. 17. Scott winks at Knives..NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. Scott grins heroically.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2.
4 INT.DAY Back in the kitchen... KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . everyone looks at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 2A. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .
SCOTT Oh. SCOTT She’ll geek. It is. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. Let it be soon. 4 SCOTT Yes. 5 INT/EXT. this is Stephen Stills. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. STEPHEN STILLS I mean.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. Knives. Scott opens the door a crack. Please be good. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. hey. He's the talent. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. She geeks. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. man. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . I want her to geek out on us. really. Scott smiles broadly. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. She has the capacity to geek. B A Hey.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? .
5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
sticks in her hands... SCOTT Knives. who finally gets it. I’m not in the band. (CONTINUED) .Tetris. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi. 6 INT. wow. ratty rug..INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4..) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim.yes. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .DAY Knives enters. bass. . sorry. drums. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. guitar. LAME BRAND amps. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset.. Knives waves.. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. I just live here. Lemme get your coat. that’s Kim. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. that’s Young Neil. KNIVES CHAU Hi.that’s kind of a big question.. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. KNIVES CHAU Wow. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb. Amps hum to life. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh..Zelda.S. YOUNG NEIL Oh. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives.
. 8 INT.. SCOTT B A Yeaaah. Kim. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott.. The song ends. jaw ajar.... are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like.. Yeaaah. SCOTT Yeaaah.are so. Amazing. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys. 7 EXT. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended.Sex Bob-Omb.amazing. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE. BUS STOP .EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room.wait. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. Knives watches. feedback lingering. if your life had a face I would punch it.... F (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU I can't even. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5. what? KIM PINE I mean. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome.
one room apartment. ha. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. ha. dark hair. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. SCOTT So. You're totally my bitch forever. turns to Young Neil. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. The whole seventeen year old thing. 24 YEARS OLD. "WALLACE WELLS.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. I'm dating a 17 year old. ha. Kim. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. WALLACE Yeah. yes. ROOMMATE. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . arched eyebrow. FUTON included. disloyal. SCOTT Neil.. she seems awesome. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. Don’t tell too many people.. you were saying she seems awesome. . TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. SCOTT Yeaaaah.
9 WALLACE Hey. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A. you know me.
peppy barista. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless.S.) You know me. Knives Chau. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. cute. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. The phone goes. Scott picks up. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. 9 SCOTT I mean. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. SCOTT That’s not true. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. WALLACE You know me. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. Duh. starts texting. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. WALLACE (O. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. you will not be served”. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM." A STACEY (O. Scott sinks into an armchair. 19. Don’t tell my sister. YOUNGER SISTER.S.
CATHOLIC SCHOOL . more like. At all. F T A SCOTT I don't know.. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. 9 SCOTT Yeah.. so I wouldn't call it dating. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad... Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8.it’s just nice. (CONTINUED) . are you legitimately moving on. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. We haven’t even held hands. SCOTT This school has boys too. STACEY Um. the whole deal.. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. WALLACE I hate you. STACEY Oh my God. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. 10 EXT. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. Uniformed boys and girls pour out. you know? It's just. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old... you haven’tSCOTT No no no.simple. STACEY (CONT’D) So. I think she hugged me once.. SCOTT Well.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times.
INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.
She digs for quarters. Does he wear glasses? . KNIVES CHAU Oh. 11 INT. Whispers. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind.9. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION). SCOTT Yeah. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. T A WALLACE Yes. The game ends. Wow. like. SCOTT Hey Knives. You know. Wallace Wells. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move.wow.S. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. CONTINUE appears. side by side. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O. He’s gay.8. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize. KNIVES CHAU Oh..DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison.. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. Run.. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. THE ARCADE .. counting down: 10.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. Scott looks at Knives... this is my cool gay roommate...INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. WALLACE You're too good for him.
KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. SCOTT Well. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. Knives. we're already pretty big. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. THE GOODWILL .DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. 22. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. F T A A13 INT. slices in hand. 13 INT. 12 EXT.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. Hangers click in time. . STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. you guys are gonna be HUGE. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. but you guys ROCK. Julie. "PIZZA PIZZA" . RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. Bobby. Thank you.INTEGRATED FINAL 10.
Julie. (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. 13 SCOTT Thank you.
Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . KNIVES CHAU .. But that’s just me. SCOTT Me neither.. Scott hugs her.. SCOTT Sorry.I've never gone out with someone so talented.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. 11. so whatever. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. 15 EXT. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground. F KNIVES CHAU I mean. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A .no.. I heart them so much. you were saying about me? 14 EXT. I've. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . KNIVES CHAU Oh.
..Scott wanders alone through a barren land. an army jacket. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah... Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott..so alone. rubbing his eyes. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone.. .HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. You're just having some idiotic dream.so.. Wow.. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT Here you go. THE DREAM DESERT . 17 B A SCOTT Oh God.. She wears fishnets. Her pink hair is funky but cool. SCOTT Oh God.? .. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. skirt and goggles... Wow. The light snowfall turns into sand. okay.SCOTT WAKES UP.. 17 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. sitting up in the FUTON. She is hotter than the desert sun. Wind blows. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure. But she's gone.. KNIVES CHAU Oh. 16 (CONTINUED) .
WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house.. Other Scott goes back to sleep. WALLACE Speaking of new. it wasn’t her. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream. 17 WALLACE What is it. six in the morning. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT..INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. 22. F T A . WALLACE What is it.. OTHER VOICE Oh God.. Scott opens the bathroom door. SCOTT But there was this girl. Wallace rubs his eyes. Scott? A scruffy. Sunlight ignites the room. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. SCOTT No. It was somebody new. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like.
DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 13A. 18 INT. THE LIBRARY .
CA to the librarian.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl.my hand slipped.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14... Let’s talk about something else.. Time slows to a crawl. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. SCOTT Uh. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. (CONTINUED) .S.. I’ll be quieter. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library.uh. He carries a stack of books for Knives. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. head still in the clouds. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. STEPHEN STILLS (O. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. SCOTT It was. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch.. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school.. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT.
21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. there may be some label guys there.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did.this sucks. I thought you guys split. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT .. SCOTT . what are we doing? 20 EXT.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. KIM PINE We're going to this party. But. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. Kim Pine. man.. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. Scott exits frame. Scott's head is still in the clouds. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about.. 21 INT.. Both have red plastic cups in hand.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. T SCOTT Ugh.. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. you know.. so. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's. JULIE'S HOUSE . retard. This is going to suck. 19 SCOTT Sorry. F SCOTT Aw.
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 24.
Stephen Stills is with her. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. arms crossed. Now. Scott does not. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. Aged 8” and yet. JULIE She just moved here. Comes into my work. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18.. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh.. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. SCOTT Yeah.Flowers. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. . Got a job with Amazon. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet.
yes.. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE .. But I didn't want Scott to know that.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Stephen.
SCOTT looks to KIM. Ramona is out of your league. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. He’s totally dating a high schooler. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. me and Kim are all good now. We hear the sound of arctic winds. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. 22 SCOTT Yeah. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. I don't know what it is about that girl. let’s leave it at that. whoa. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. JULIE Whatever. she justJULIE Scott. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. . A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period.
. SCOTT I think she’s. WALLACE Girl. F T (CONTINUED) A .NIGHT Scott lies on the futon.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT.. From my dream. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon.. and hey! There she is. SCOTT So. WIDE awake. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. Wallace flops onto the futon. landing next to Scott.. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. 23 WALLACE You guess right. WALLACE Library.. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah... WALLACE You think he’s. 20. that girl.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. Okay. Wallace storms in. I don't know what it is about that girl... WALLACE'S APARTMENT . I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams.. WALLACE There he is.
Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend... you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. RINGY RING! Scott answers.girlfriend.. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.. I should send out a mass text about this. B A STACEY Well. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. SCOTT What’s that? Break. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Wait.up. Wallace.high school.. who is out cold.fake. Wallace drifts off.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace.. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something. friend. Who told you? STACEY Duh. Bye... SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. 23 WALLACE Mmm.. cellphone in hand.
. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah.. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK..ca. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE ... This is..this is. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O.” Scott walks to the front door. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool.. Pilgrim. Scott sits at Wallace's computer... Moments pass..ca. 23 SCOTT Wallace.S. WALLACE Scott. . Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon....THIS IS.!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring. SCOTT "Dear Mr. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright. My name is Matthew Patel..hmm. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon.Amazon...
INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. WALLACE It's the weekend. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 23 SCOTT Maybe.
26 EXT. He plasters on his best fake smile. 23 DINGY DONG. Uh huh. out of sync. Scott doesn't eat. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. SCOTT Attack hug.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. his thoughts elsewhere.. Scott JUMPS to his feet. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. SONIC BOOM . KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. THE GOODWILL . I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek.. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy. Knives chows down on a slice. SCOTT That's sucky..DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins.. still distracted. B 25 INT. That’s cute. PIZZA PIZZA .DAY A .INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23.
B A F T A . SCOTT I tell ya'.but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek. 26 KNIVES CHAU .INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A...
..I think.. 27 INT. alone by the window. 3. SCOTT Um. NegaNinja..9. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh. I think.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off. THE ARCADE . Knives BURSTS into frame.. And even better? It’s the T..2. Scott takes a deep breath. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE ... THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott..B...I.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives.. A NEGANINJA .squares up against Scott’s avatar. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. side by side.INTEGRATED FINAL 24.. The Rockit. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show.. staring out.. KNIVES CHAU (O. (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on.1.8. This is never easy. Scott winces.B. On. but he messes up.10. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. everybody..EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb.. 28 INT. Game. Scott tunes his bass.S. Scott plays halfheartedly. his timing off. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up.
S.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. Great.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. F Oh. This guy at work was like "Steve. She grabs Scott. SCOTT Sure. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) ..) Crash and the Boys. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. man.. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.) Oh my gosh. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. Knives can barely contain herself. It’ll be the cool kids too. KNIVES CHAU (O.
S. they suck.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.) Yeah. . I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.S.) Oh my gosh.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A.S. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.
around a corner. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. 29 INT. RAMONA Um. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . SCOTT RAMONA No.. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces.? 30 . He stares at himself in the mirror. A (CONTINUED) . 30 INT.. I was thinking about asking you out. I dreamt you were delivering me this package. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. Scott runs after her. um.. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds... no. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all.a long. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi.. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell..EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up.INTEGRATED FINAL 26. skating past Scott and down the hall.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. DINGY DONG.. down a row of LOCKERS leading to.. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. but then I realized how stupid that would be. it's just like. that's okay. entering. and you were in my dream. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. Scott exits the bathroom... BATHROOM .. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door.
INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27.. RAMONA Yeah. you're like American? RAMONA Why. I mean. SCOTT But if I sign for it... Noooooo.. That's how it works. That was some total ass. She gives him a pen. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block.you need to sign for this.. RAMONA You know. I was the other guy. right? I've lived here forever. (CONTINUED) F T A . am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. you'll leave.. RAMONA You still have to sign. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. You’d be impressed.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. SCOTT Okay well. SCOTT So. Not even.
RAMONA Well. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. PARK .. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. RAMONA I need to find a new route. SCOTT Sorry.my dream girl. yeah. And throws the package straight in the trash.. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. Oh. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line.. You assumed wrong. So..if that's cool. I'm totally waiting on you. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. . 31 SCOTT You are like.you know... A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um.
B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me.a friend. SCOTT This is good.. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do. RAMONA He’s... 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence.. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park. RAMONA This is good. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs. F SCOTT Is Gideon. They sit on some swings in the park... So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess.is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) .
SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah.. B A Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. It’s weird. it’s certainly chilled here. Chilled as in cold. SCOTT Well. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. .. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. RAMONA Yeah. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. RAMONA Uh. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy.
. 34 SCOTT It’s. RAMONA This is ridiculous. I can barely see you... you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm.. The snowfall gets heavier.... SCOTT So this is a 'date'. Laughing.. night’s not over yet. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. mostly stupid. yeah. A Tongue. SCOTT I feel so stupid. Ramona hops off her swing. RAMONA Well.. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw.. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. .INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. RAMONA Dude. Wallace is pretty gay.. You're too desperate to be gay. you’re probably not that stupid. RAMONA Anyway. SCOTT Yeah. relax. I believe you. Ramona walks away.. no.
34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. I can’t see you.. Help me. I.. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . I’m blind..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A.. SCOTT A door? I.
SCOTT That would actually be awesome. constant comment and earl grey. white truffle.. raspberry. I'm just. Scott ventures upstairs. does this help? SCOTT (O. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime.) Here..cold! RAMONA (O. girl friendly apartment.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. ginseng. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. He watches as she slips out of her coat. sleepytime. He wanders towards a half open door.) AAAH! Sorry. ginger with honey.very warm. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK.S. vanilla almond. liver disaster. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt. vanilla walnut.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. green tea with lemon and honey.. 35 INT. Ramona opens the door. After a moment alone. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness.. What is that? B Ramona exits. green tea. blueberry chamomile.S. green tea with lemon.. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. Pushing it open.S. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . ginger without honey. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT (O..) That's. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing.
RAMONA Well. A (CONTINUED) ..camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. smiling. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh..not have tea. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him.. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott. Ramona breaks off. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline. Pilgrim... Not right now.. A Ohh..kay. They tumble onto the bed and make out. Scott takes his shirt off. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off..since we're so cold.. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.what about our tea? SCOTT I can. Scott is in heaven... SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you. They look into each others eyes. revealing black panties to complement black bra. RAMONA I changed my mind. You can sleep in my bed....kay.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33..maybe we should both get under it.. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything. F T SCOTT Maybe..were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess.
. Scott relaxes.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. thanks.oh. Ramona is gone. we're terrible. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks.. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. Please come.. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing..that was a joke.. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . It's been like a really long time. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. They exchange a smile. SCOTT Hey. 35 SCOTT This is cool. B A 37 EXT. Ramona skates towards the front gate.I think I needed this. Scott walking next to her. So.. RAMONA You're welcome.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens..MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. Whatever this is. I didn't even get any. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. RAMONA'S ROOM . and this is. RAMONA I have to work. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. just this.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 37 RAMONA Sure.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A.
Scott is so amazed at her presence. THE ROCKIT . STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. girl number. WALLACE Hey. B A F T 38 INT. 212 664-7665.At The- “THE ROCKIT. Ramona is already skating far. RAMONA Hey. She hands him a note. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. SCOTT Oh. I’m Stacey. Scott looks back up. right back next to Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. hey! It’s tonight. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”. far away. . his social skills vanish. I did totally come..(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. reaching Scott at the bar. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. his room-mate. He’s chronically enfeebled.. STACEY Excuse my brother. STACEY And this is Wallace. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow... Scott Pilgrim. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow.
BACKSTAGE .. STILLS We were just on stage. He didn’t even see Knives come in.uh.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have.. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. Go. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? .. wearing makeup and new clothes. 39 INT. wake up. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. SCOTT I. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. Wallace stares at Jimmy. THE ROCKIT. To.. wake up. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. The sound guy hated us. Scott’sScott goes white. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. PROMOTER (O. People love us.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. Knives looks kinda sexy. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. For sound check. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. 38 STACEY And this is Knives.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. He pushes her away. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. Stacey stares at Scott. Scott scurries off.
CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . I am Crash. CRASH Thank you. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up.haven't started playing yet. WALLACE Jimmy. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening.. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. Please Die. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. and it's called "We Hate You. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. Kim glowers. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. Wallace yells from the balcony. I am so very very sad. 8 year old girl drummer." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. THE ROCKIT.INTEGRATED FINAL 37. 40 INT. Jimmy. TRASHA. and these are the Boys.04 seconds. THE ROCKIT.. You passed. STAGE .CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. . STAGE . A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. A41 INT. WALLACE That was a test. BACKSTAGE . gives Wallace the finger." And it goes a little something like this. TOO? CRASH Yes.
B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B A F T A .
THE ROCKIT. He has so many friends. BACKSTAGE . It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever..INTEGRATED FINAL 38. These guys are good. The audience are stunned. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. Stacey turns to Ramona. STAGE . He's a friend.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. BALCONY . A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience".CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. 43 INT. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT..um.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. THE ROCKIT. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. BACKSTAGE . how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So... 41 INT. . STACEY So Knives.
BALCONY .. THE ROCKIT.. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE.. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott..CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH.you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim.. KNIVES CHAU Well.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony. staring at the stage. THE ROCKIT.. STAGE . THE ROCKIT.. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic.yeah.you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. sees Stacey talking to Knives.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. BACKSTAGE . 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 39.. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. F (CONTINUED) .. ONE. She faints in the excitement.. So give it up for Sex.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. ANGLE on Knives. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. 45 INT. TWO. Scott nods vigorously.
.. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. B A Patel RUNS at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. Matthew Patel. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. Pilgrim. Alright. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. Pilgrim. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. SCOTT Thank you. It is I. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. They land in THE PIT.. Patel LANDS like a cat. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. Consider our fight. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm.. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . He drags on a cigarette (blacked out).
Scott blocks.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Patel punches. then holds his hand up for a time-out. Scott blocks. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Matthew was the only non-white. in the seventh grade. . We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. Scott evades and counter-attacks. We only kissed once. They exchange furious blows. After a week and a half.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. Scott jump-spins away from danger. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. Patel evades. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. They pause. then lands more punches. We were one hell of a team. I told him to hit the showers. non-jock boy in school. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. breathing heavy. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. all the little jocks wanted me. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. landing kicks and punches. Scott looks up to Ramona. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. probably in the entire state.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.
Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. POOF. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. dodging a third wave of fireballs. Scott dodges. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. wait. It hits Patel square in the eyes. narrowly dodging the attack. Scott rolls across the stage. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. T A (CONTINUED) .. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. Maybe you’ll see. He flips back onto the stage. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. Patel levitates into the air. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. you’re not the brightest. Scott hits the ground. 47 SCOTT Dude. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. SCOTT Open your eyes. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott..
Passes Stacey. THE ROCKIT. 48 INT. 47 K. Scott lands and picks them up. They clatter to the stage floor. BALCONY .O! Scott punches Patel. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Coins. He explodes into COINS. SCOTT Sweet.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A.
SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. $2.. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT..CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43.but he is long gone. Sex Bob-Omb wins.so like. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. who is being resuscitated by Tamara.. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them..40? That's not even enough for the bus home. 50 INT. The Promotor ambles back onstage. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. PROMOTER Yeah.. THE BUS . Ramona yanks Scott away. Tell your gay friends I said bye.. THE ROCKIT.. it was great meeting you. SCOTT Aw man. THE ROCKIT. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. I guess.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. clapping wildly from the balcony. Ramona takes a breath. BALCONY . 48 RAMONA Well. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives... RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. STAGE .
SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. And someone has a second date tonight. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. SCOTT Cool. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. 52 53 OMITTED INT..maybe first and a half. The studio audience 'awwww's. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . yes. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott.. SCOTT So..MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. . someone got to second base last night. a spring in his step. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. The studio audience applauds.. SCOTT Well.. Do you want to make out? Uh. right? I got to second base last night. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. I mean me. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. I guess. what you're saying is.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’.. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. Scott bursts through the front door. Scott kisses Ramona.
WALLACE If you don't do it. If you have a problem with it.. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45.. I swear to God. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. hey.You have to break up with Knives. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. F SCOTT But you. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. SCOTT You’re a monster. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. Scott. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner..it's HARD.. Today.. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost.. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. T A . WALLACE Okay.. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. SCOTT But.. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives. Scott..but.. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. so you can't be here tonight.you're. I don't want you gaying up the place.
(MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.
. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. Uh.. Um. 46. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. The next click is me hanging up. 54 EXT. Hi.is me pulling the trigger. like. KNIVES CHAU (O. SCOTT You suck.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. Knives.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard.. Wallace turns the television way up. bucko. hey. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off.okay. The one after that. SCOTT So.. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. B A Ummm. I am stalking him later. Surprising no one. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing.. SCOTT Oh. do you want to.S.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone.
KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town.. B A SCOTT Uh. just so bad. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. KNIVES CHAU No..DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. T (CONTINUED) A .. I'm in.. hey. Like. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah... to meet my parents. Chinese food? Yeah. really. it's okay. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah.. SONIC BOOM .LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. It’s not my favorite.. SCOTT Like. Well. pounding inside Scott's head. SCOTT And. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder.INTEGRATED FINAL 47..and. It's my birthday dinner. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. KNIVES CHAU Oh.I think that's a really bad idea.. 55 INT.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care.
listen. SCOTT Um. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop.. 55 Knives is so smitten.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A.I was thinking we should break up or whatever. the word actually appears onscreen. Scott brushes it away.. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. No. 57 SCOTT Oh.. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. KIM PINE Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48.um. SCOTT Aw. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. 56 INT. her funky pink hair. Oh.you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . YOUNG NEIL You. 56 57 INT/EXT.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone.. thinks of something happier.. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS.. We broke up. a little happier. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2.. thanks. leaving Knives in the aisle. in shock. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.it's not going to work out. thinking about Knives. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles.. KIM PINE Wait. you are the salt of the earth.EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. SCOTT Aw. Kim and Stills share a look.. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs. I meant scum of the earth. thanks... THE BUS / RECORD STORE . Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune.
.. now sporting BLUE HAIR. Kim mimes shooting herself. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. 57 SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. new or new-new. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out.you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . B A Scott ushers her in. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. RAMONA Hey everyone. This is sudden death now. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. RAMONA Yeah. this is Stephen Stills. but don’t worry.... I just dyed it. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. weirded out by this hair development. that’s. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. Young Neil. Like you said. SCOTT It’s all blue. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. We were lucky to survive that last round. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. whether they’re old.. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp. Kim. RAMONA Yes.
INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
preparing food as Wallace looks on. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said.uh.. He’s an idiot.. dude. KIM PINE Believe it or not. good. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Good.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. KIM PINE Yeah. SCOTT She changed her hair. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah. Ramona goes to the bathroom. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. Get used to it. STEPHEN STILLS Uh.. Scott fake laughs.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. reading a magazine.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. Cool. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. SCOTT Okay. See you guys tomorrow.. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. YOUNG NEIL . 58 Ramona lounges. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. Scott drops the act. Starts ushering Ramona out again. I actually dated Scott in high school. what about rehearsal? 58 INT.
INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A. 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. Impulsive. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. SCOTT Don’t go.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. picnic style. with a panicked whisper. Good. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. A (CONTINUED) . Wallace pulls on a jacket. “when”. She’s spontaneous. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. See you in sixty. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. Scott stops Wallace at the door. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. if you strike out in the next hour. come find me at the Castle. Ramona returns. Fickle. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. good. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. Oh my god. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. 58 SCOTT I know.
SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. it goes like this: Ra-mona. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. A (CONTINUED) . Or just all the time without even stopping. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. Ra-ra-ra. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. I could honestly eat it for every meal. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. RAMONA You'd get fat. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. Ra-mona. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. SCOTT No. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Ooooh. Mona. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. Ra-mona. Ramona is taken aback. Ra-ra-ra. Ra-mona. Mona.
RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her..INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. I like it long.. But it’s so long ago. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears.she stopped liking me. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. No.. RAMONA Your hair is cute. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in.. But she stopped liking that name. NARRATOR She dumped him.. Earl Jones deep. It was brutal. I can barely remember it. three hours before his big breakup. 58 SCOTT Ha. she told me it was mutual... SCOTT Not really. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. It was. Then. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. NARRATOR It wasn’t.. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.. T A . hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. sorry. It’s just that I got.
. as if crossing a magical line. 59 EXT... They’re shooting this movie up here.you make me feel.heightened.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. every drug. ENDLESS STAIRWAY . who? SCOTT I forget. . I just love me some walking. Not that I do drugs. a castle surrounded by big. but. T A SCOTT Nooo..I don't know. Putting one leg in front of the other. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. unless you do... 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. bright movie set lights. Things seem a little brighter around you or something. I don’t know. in which case I do drugs all the time.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. I just. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. F SCOTT Yeah. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. long handrail between them. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. RAMONA Oh. Let’s find out.
We gotta go.D. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. I am not a slut. doing kickflips. RAMONA Oh. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. RAMONA Ooh. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. FIRST A. 60 EXT.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. He skates towards the set. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. man. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. T (CONTINUED) A . Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. B A What? Why? Slut. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. including Wallace. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer.INTEGRATED FINAL 55. CASA LOMA . Mr. The spectators go “oooh”.
SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. He was a little snot nosed brat.God. LUCAS LEE Action. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. . 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade.. it might have been math.. RAMONA He just followed me around.my.. I just remember there being lots of drama.. who gasps. SCOTT Oh.. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey.. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. who remains oblivious. We had drama.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott. Actually. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode.. SCOTT . LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott.you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade..
60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. crumbling it. Fight. Evil ex. wobbly. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. flooring him. He nods to Ramona. How’s life? He seems nice. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. . SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. WALLACE Scott.
bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Lucas Lee wanders off. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. A .. hey. SCOTT (O.) Mr. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. all identically dressed.. smirking on the sidelines. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing.. LUCAS LEE He’s good. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards.. SCOTT Hey.S. Scott stands to fight the double.) Looks like you’re seeing double. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. Scott staggers to his feet. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister.S. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. Tae Kwon Doe style. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. Suddenly. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. punchy. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. He slides across the wet-down ground.
F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) ... Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop...no. preparing for the deathblow. 60 Lucas turns. . POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. Let’s get a beer. Scott goes to shake it. LUCAS LEE Prepare.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58.. bro. SCOTT You’re needed back on set. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. framed through the torn skyline.. Lucas stomps over to him. shocked to see Scott. well then don't worry about it. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. Lucas offers a hand. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen.
HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. revealing a skate company tattoo. SCOTT Wow. F T A (CONTINUED) .. if it’s too hardcore. Lucas pulls down his shirt. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind... Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59.. I have my own skate company. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT.. Big fan. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. SCOTT So you can sell them. a perfect ollie onto the rail. ese. very impressed at Lucas. HSSSSSSSSS. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. SCOTT Hey... WALLACE Hi. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL. impressed at Lucas. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. bro.. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board.
Scott smacks his forehead. HSSSSSSSSS.. WALLACE Wow.. 60 SCOTT Wow. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. he totally bailed. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph.
212 664-7665.. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). WALLACE'S APARTMENT . you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. please record your message after the beep. Scott again.. phone pressed to his ear. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. T SCOTT Hey. Call me back. 61 INT. It’s me. . Uh. RAMONA is not available. Scott Pilgrim. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. she totally bailed. 60 FIRST A. you said that last night.that’s a wrap everybody.D. A Scott slumps on the couch. It was right under your nose.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60.
Break out the L-word.S. if she’s really the girl of your dreams.) Hey Scott. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . I need you to move out. Look. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. Scott picks up. WALLACE If you want something bad. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. RINGY RING. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. then you have to let her know. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. Step up your game. Scott. Scott slides to the floor. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus.. it’s “love”. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. VOICE (O. completely shocked at this bombshell. You have the spirit of a warrior. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. you have to fight for it. guy. Scott and Wallace look at the phone.. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. A SEXY. Either way.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
Hits SOMETHING.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. darlin’. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. She spins to face Scott. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. SCOTT Wait. but I just cashed my last raincheck. SCOTT Okay. T SCOTT Listen. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. SHWAA . am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. He’s pissed now. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. I’ve had it today. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. Prepare to die. technically this is not a nightmare. obviously. 62 SHFFF . .SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet.
S. baffled. Scott is in his usual payphone. SCOTT Well. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken. SCOTT Oh man.the Mystery Attacker vanishes. dialing Stacey frantically. then I’ll see you later. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . I’m really.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A .) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. SCOTT It’s Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. STACEY (O. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. really not up for this. It’s actually me. BLOOR STREET . Whatever it is. Someone help me. Scott looks to the sky. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. it’s Scott. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. But you won’t see me. STACEY (O.S.
) I’m literally about to leave. (CONTINUED) . 63 STACEY (O. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. And by the way. Stacey has her back turned. THE SECOND CUP . not happy. I’m coming in. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. Scott turns back to Julie. mouthing that she has to go. SCOTT Cool. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. Are you still working? 65. Stacey turns around.
the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. I know it's early days. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. No biggie. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. You kind of disappeared. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. "ENVY ADAMS. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. RAMONA SCOTT I mean.. RAMONA Yeah. (CONTINUED) A Exes. A . FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS.. No. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. Listen.. She looks at the floor.. SCOTT Yeah. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. I want to hang." The icy. 23. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. I do that. SCOTT No. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. They share an awkward moment. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again.
64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. You’re so on the list. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. SCOTT Yeah. .INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67.. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. I know. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy.excuse me. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. You guys should like. ENVY Okay. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. Ramona goes to order coffee. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. I’m jealous. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT.. ENVY Great. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. so totally come. RAMONA I’m gonna.
sipping their coffees. That didn’t end well either.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So. That. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. SCOTT I can see how it sucks.that was Nat? . How.. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. Having the past come back to haunt you. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. 65 SCOTT No. This guy Todd. Ramona returns.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. RAMONA And two weeks later. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . About.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. that was Envy.. 65 EXT. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. F T RAMONA So...
INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Move on. Ramona lounges on the couch. Mm. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend.INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) .DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. From this moment on. 66 Scott stands (no pants). WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT Double negative.. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. Music swells. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. Ramona stops and kisses him. SCOTT Right. Tricky.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott.. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. 66 INT. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. Scott and Young Neil. B A Word. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . STEPHEN STILLS No. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. And Envy asked us to open for them.
STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig.EVENING B A Yeah. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do.. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. SCOTT Yeah. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. . pressed against the window. for the band? For the band.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. We need groundswell. We need stalkers. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. You know. We need to get some buzz going. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. DRUG SMART . Is a gig. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward.. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. 67 SCOTT I hate you. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona.
B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA. looking sexy. (CONTINUED) . Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. eyes narrowing. this really burns. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God.. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl.so good. so he tried to find someone cool but old.I look so.EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. Knives throws a long scarf on..EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. This is all her fault. KNIVES’ BATHROOM . TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. KNIVES’ BEDROOM .. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. 68A INT. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot.INTEGRATED FINAL 71.. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay.
71 71 INT. Now.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. LEE’S PALACE . Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. drunk. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD .CONTINUOUS A 70 . as she plots. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer.Sold out’. LEE'S PALACE . The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. LEE’S PALACE . She knows we suck. We were Sex Bob-Omb. Tamara pops into frame. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. F T 70 INT. But I know how to get him back. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. Bar. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. PUSH into Knives. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay.NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. Ramona excuses herself.
LEE'S PALACE. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. looking hot. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. 17.. LEE'S PALACE . KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. standing next to Ramona. 72 INT. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. Briefly. Or is it. SCOTT Briefly. Knives follows. confused. RAMONA Hey. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. F T . She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. clothes and makeup.. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. LADIES BATHROOM . "KNIVES CHAU.
INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. revealing a stunning figure. LEE’S PALACE .. 75 INT.. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. 25. LEE’S PALACE.MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. ENVY in a long black coat. no longer shrouded in dry ice. Oh yeah. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. He’s alone. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. Envy lets her coat slip off. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes... striking ROCK GOD figure. (turns beet red) I mean. he cuts a handsome.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. EVIL-EX #3. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her. Knives screams her teen brains out. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. MENS BATHROOM . Stares at Scott. (sing songy) Peee time.” and “Who. A I know.. I gotta pee. You know? Oh yeah. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. Pee time. (CONTINUED) .. "TODD INGRAM. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke.
Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors. 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A. LEE'S PALACE .LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb.
YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. RAMONA Mmm hmm. RAMONA Hey Todd. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. you have to see them live. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) .. Just oh my God. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. Envy burns a hole through Scott. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God.. Everyone else feels. They’re so much better live. LEE’S PALACE. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. TODD INGRAM Been a while. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. Oh. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. YOUNG NEIL Man. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man.“AWKWARD”. Envy.
Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. ENVY So. it’s not something I can really put into words. Stephen.Envy? I read your blog. ENVY I was just there. KNIVES CHAU Um. you know? You suit each other. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. JULIE Ramona lived in New York. Did you get those jeans in New York.. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives.. Envy.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. Todd and Julie glare at Knives... cute couple. You know him. ENVY Just saying. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. in general? T A . JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. I like your outfit Ramona.
Knives stands up.. She is about to answer when.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 77 Scott looks at Ramona..
Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK.my neck.your hair. grasping his neck.. TODD INGRAM That’s right.. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT.. Todd smirks. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal.. Scott boils. JULIE So. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. SCOTT KK. B A F T A (CONTINUED) .. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. Todd sits back down like nothing happened. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. Her hair is black and plain as before. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. choking. Of.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. Her. Scott hovers. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. Hair. ENVY You’re incorrigible. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. Out. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. 77 Envy nods at Todd. Young Neil escorts Knives out. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet. I’m a rock star. I’m not afraid to hit a girl... YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives..yy.
how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. SCOTT No kidding. question. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. He tries to keep cool. Ramona helps Scott to his feet.. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. A (CONTINUED) . I always wondered. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. if you knew the science. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. He moans in pain.vegan..anyone can be. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. SCOTT If I peed my pants.. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. While the others bicker. despite being in a lot of pain. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man.. TODD INGRAM Bingo. Scott sails out of shot and into space. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall.
77 RAMONA It’s not raining. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A.
A (CONTINUED) . We wrecked stuff.O. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. It’s part of the reason I moved here.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. Nobody cared.like that. but I used to be kind of. A brief.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy.O. 77 SCOTT Oh. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd. I guess that’s not very nice. Scott can only fixate on one aspect.O. so I dumped him. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. It’s pretty crazy. RAMONA (V. RAMONA Look. RAMONA (V. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. RAMONA (V. RAMONA (V.) We hated everyone. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona..O. Nobody cares. It was pretty crazy.) A week and a half later.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79..
we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice.. SCOTT You used to be so. And the cleaning lady.. B A SCOTT Sorry. call us when you’re done. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off.sort of ready for another round..cleans up.. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday.. She dusts. Scott CHARGES at Todd. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona . Right? ENVY Basically...Monday.. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. so. Stills calls through the hole. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80. TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business.. I and he! Scott stands up .dislike you.. SCOTT He and me..nice! F Um. We hear a distant CRUMP. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . T SCOTT A SCOTT I.. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.ready for another round.dust. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds.
77 ENVY Oh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. he’ll be done real soon.
CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. Crummy way to end things. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. Todd calls to a roadie. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. Pilgrim. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. Suddenly. amp pegged to 10. fauxhawk rising. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. savoring the kill. picking the hell out of his bass. cringing. Your bass hand is badly injured. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. He hovers next to him. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. I know. Scott turns around on his knees. I actually know how to play bass. Todd LEVITATES. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. floating towards Scott with his bass. Envy grins at Ramona. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. 79 (CONTINUED) . shredding him into oblivion. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. ENVY Sorry. 78 INT. baby. The good one. You’re through. Todd floats toward him. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. LEE’S PALACE. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. wicked.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. LEE'S PALACE .
but that's pathetic. 79 ENVY I’m sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. tool.. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude.m. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. Todd floats to the ground. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. I poured soy in this cup. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. no vegan powers. I'll take the one with soy. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. on February 1st. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. You know. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. SCOTT Actually. A . you knowingly ingested Gelato. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. takes one of the cups and drinks. bitch. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. in my mind's eye or whatever. 7:30 p. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827.m.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. Thanks. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book.
in shock. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. Ramona follows.. jaw ajar. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. Natalie. So I guess we’re even. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. Envy blinks. disgusted.. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. Julie pops into shot. SCOTT Maybe they should. shooting Envy a look on the way out. (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Crummy way to end things.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. sorry I guess. Envy stares. 79 Envy gasps. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. F SCOTT Uh. Now let’s get out of here. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. I know.
79 JULIE For the record. KIM PINE Then why would we. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. Stills coughs. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. ENVY Shut the fuck up. And hot. That Todd guy was cool too. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. 80 INT. Julie. A (CONTINUED) . 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. PIZZA PIZZA . I liked him. It’s an odd mood. Ramona and Scott.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party.oh. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties...INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. I am so pissed off for you right now. WALLACE Envy Adams. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. on the fringes. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her.
RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. Other Scott whispers to Wallace.NIGHT A Oh. He shrugs. Scott limps a bit. AFTER PARTY . STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . Ooh. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. B 81 EXT. Yet. WALLACE I mean. Ramona falls back with him.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. we can totally go. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. Scott takes another bite. Oh.. lagging behind. Hey. so. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. not with fists. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives.. So let’s go. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party.
.. 81 SCOTT No. It’s justRAMONA It’s just. I’m fine.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A. I’m fine.? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
. no one can. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North.. Roxy flips out of the hold. B A ROXY Well honey. If Gideon can’t have you. The girls square off.” RAMONA It was just a phase. clearing the busy dance floor. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. does she know me. ROXY Back off hasbian.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here.. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air.. F T A (CONTINUED) .she. 82 ROXY Oh boy. The League hath spoken. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious.is.. 23. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. SCOTT What.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE..
Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. Ramona. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. ROXY Give it a rest. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. F WALLACE Oh yeah. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. It smashes a speaker. He’s a creep. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. this is live? Uh huh. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. leaving a dent in it. This is a League game. She BLOCKS with the hammer. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. The belt wraps around it. With blinding speed. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. RAMONA Believe it. you slag.
Or possibly feet. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
He lands HARD on the floor. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. still in the splits..be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. Some sooner than others. ROXY Fight your own battles. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. RAMONA Whenever we were making out.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91.never. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. . GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh.. (CONTINUED) B A Okay.. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. She grins at Ramona... preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. They’re soft. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. She staggers. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. Roxy falls. kicking them apart with the splits. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. winces.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends.. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy.
82 The party starts up again. a wave of gossip spreading around the room. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . People text furiously and point fingers at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A.
The gossip echoes around them. Ramona tries to lighten things. She touches her hair. RAMONA Sooooo. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Only on special occasions. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink.. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. Scott has already downed his second drink. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. RAMONA I really think we should split. Looks hurt. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92.. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. Ramona follows tentatively. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A. 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
NIGHT B A But then . identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. Here’s your stupid list. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . You’re drunk. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. LEE. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. RAMONA (CONT’D) P. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces.. INGRAM. A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink.. It reads“PATEL. RAMONA Dirty laundry. RICHTER. You. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. GIDEON.” 83 INT.Ramona returns. Scott looks at the list. KATAYANAGI TWINS.S. In fact I’m sick of it. I thought you might be more understanding. Ramona leaves. Ramona exits proper. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
85 KIM PINE Oh. She’s totally here.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb.. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. She is totally there.. Now an open air venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang.) They brought the house down. Scott.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. KYLE KATAYANAGI. is very serious and Japanese. KEN KATAYANAGI. SNOW falls onto the stage. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right. we can do this. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb.. She looks happy. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. They are chatting. The crowd cheers.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. 23.. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN.. Scott turns bleak again.. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. is serious and very Japanese. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. Can we do this? I mean. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. leaving a huge hole in the roof. Scott and Stills get into battle position. 23.. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses..S. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. (CONTINUED) .but you should talk to her before she’s gone. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look.
BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. Kyle looks at Ken. 37. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. They share a nod. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. This is GIDEON GRAVES. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. Scott. SCOTT Alright. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb.. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. comes in heavy on the kick drum. We’re done.. ASSHOLE. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. then helps Kim up. SCOTT Gideon.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. they sound awesome. He struggles to his feet. For once. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. T A (CONTINUED) .
I’m not even stalking you. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. Scott follows. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. He can’t find Ramona. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. SCOTT Ramona. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. THE NINTH CIRCLE . but she and Gideon are gone. SCOTT Getting a life. SCOTT You seem. B Scott and Knives lock eyes.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98.was epic. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil.... A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. RAMONA Yeah.. different. Knives watches him go. The crowd goes bazooky. 86 EXT. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott.. different. SCOTT Ramona. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. hovering next to Scott.. What are you doing? . eyes narrowing. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. I have something I need to tell you.
. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. Listen. And I want you to know. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. really mean it. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. I don’t care about any of that stuff.
captioned “PEE”.. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. A (CONTINUED) . I just. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. Ramona looks at the floor. Okay. Scott glowers. Stills is ga-ga. T RAMONA It’s Gideon.) That’s the bad news. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.S. The Lincoln parks.. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. Scottie.. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. GIDEON GRAVES You know. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. Oh okay. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes.. VOICE (O. A driver opens the passenger door. B A Bob-omb.it's not going to work out.I can’t help myself around him.. 86 RAMONA Oh. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs.. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.
can I just say. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. I mean. she wouldn’t be back with me. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. bass in hand. before trying to hand it back to Scott. we should really be thanking each other. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. Kim shrugs and signs it too. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. buddy. you would have never been with Ramona. A cough. keep your emotions in check. GIDEON Oh and Scott. SCOTT Nuh-uh. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. but if it wasn’t for you. So I guess it all shakes out. A . Scott. GIDEON And hey. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. There are hand shakes all round. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. A meek Young Neil slides into view. Scott stands alone. if it wasn’t for me. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie.
THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN . thinking about Ramona.....INTEGRATED FINAL 100A. Scott tries desperately to think positive..NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone. 87 INT. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car...
Over PITCH BLACK. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. Scott remains in the exact same position.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) .. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him.S. STACEY Time heals all wounds. Night turns to day.S.. Gets a shock. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. 88 INT.NIGHT Scott enters.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. Flicks the light on. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. gives Scott a hug. SCOTT Seven. staring straight ahead. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. F T A STACEY (O. Stacey heads off. little brother. Day turns to night. Scott looks at the camera. Well that’s not so bad.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. THE PARK . “THONK”.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101... 88 B A STACEY Oh.
But I need my own bed tonight. it’s probably just because he’s better than you. you know I love you. Right. Wallace hands Scott cocoa.S.S. WALLACE Ah. WALLACE (O.) Sorry.S. SCOTT (O. A Right. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 89 INT.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O. That sucks. 88 WALLACE (O.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102. wrapped in a blanket. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. T . F SCOTT WALLACE Scott.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O.) Or someone.) It’s Chris.S. But you know.) It’s Chris. VOICE (O. Scott sits in the chair. I get it. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head.S. For sex. SCOTT And the year. and I apologize for that.
INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair. 89 Scott nods. Scott nods. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. SCOTT RINGY RING. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. 89 WALLACE Either way. T A Thanks. He calls off. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. INT. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103.S. Scott nods. I think this fight is over.S.) Yeah. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. Scott stares at the phone. pal. Some guy picks up. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .S.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. it’s gonna be alright. SCOTT (O.) Hey. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. 91 (CONTINUED) .CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. GIDEON'S LAIR . I don’t want any hard feelings.
HIPSTER KID Cool. Click. Whatever. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. Scott turns. alarmed.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. amigo. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. Maybe I’ll see you there.) What a perfect asshole. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. Well as you know.) I hope so.S) Sure you did. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. 92 EXT. B Password? Scott shrugs. leaning against a warehouse wall. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. Finish him. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. F SCOTT WALLACE (O.S. STREETS OF TORONTO .S. What do you say? .INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. SCOTT Mm.
INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. 93 INT. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. So far so good.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. WAREHOUSE . HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. B A F T A . HIPSTER KID Cool. Scott steps into the elevator. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR.
STEPHEN STILLS Well. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. wearing identical outfits. COMEAU Yeah. Don’t give him the satisfaction.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. looking up at his former bandmates..CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT. They are legion.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses.. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. Chuck Taylors. (CONTINUED) .S. COMEAU holds court among them. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. YOUNG NEIL on bass. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage.. now using SWEET BRAND amps. Ramona kneels at his side. 94 INT. then you’re doomed. CHAOS THEATRE . GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. their first album is so much better than their first album. SCOTT What if I have a beef. skinny jeans. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero.the CHAOS THEATRE..
.. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because. A new power comes over Scott.) Scott earned the power of love. (CONTINUED) . Gideon smiles. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. It’s ancient history. Ramona looks away from Scott. Gideon stands up. Gideon loses his cool. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. NARRATOR (V.buddy. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. I’m in love with her. whatever. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. Scott gets into a fighting stance. buddy. flexes.O. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving. League.. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke..
. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. “KNIVES CHAU.. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. (CONTINUED) . 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. by the way. Kim clicks out a fast tempo.S. to administer a final blow. Gideon approaches.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless.. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. SCOTT Your club sucks.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. Gideon chuckles. Gideon raises his sword. rolling to a stop. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. Scott hits the ground HARD. we are here to make money. Then from above. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. both concerned and amazed. He slashes at them to the beat. and sell out and stuff. ON BEAT. KNIVES CHAU (O. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. My cane. exploding each attacker into COINS. Scott looks to Knives.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. 18 YEARS OLD.. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. She lands awkwardly.
throwing blocks and punches. distracted by his duelling exes. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. I didn’t steal anyone. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. Kung Pao Chicken. KUNG FU STYLE. T A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. He was warned plenty of times. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. separating them.
.death. Okay? (beat) I mean...SAND blows through frame. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me. rubbing his temples.. You can cheat on these ladies all you want.Scott's eyes blink open.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. neither amused. GIDEON (O..cheat.. THE DREAM DESERT .. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott.DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus... Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground...maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away. but. but you can’t.. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody.. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat.. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott. Knives. With you. 95 EXT.. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white. .. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind.S. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us.
95 SCOTT Ugh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . fainter than before.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. Ramona appears out of nowhere.
SCOTT Well. that’s legitimately disappointing. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. Seeing as I’m about to die. Ramona covers the chip. He just.. I really will leave you alone forever now. SCOTT That is evil.. I was crazy about him. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. But he ignored me. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. RAMONA He’s like that.. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. RAMONA Alright. he literally has a way of getting into my head.. That’s why I had to leave. self-consciously touching her hair. maybe now would be the time to get into it. and that’s when he started paying attention. I mean. Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110.. T A (CONTINUED) . Dying probably sucks. RAMONA No. it was me who was obsessed.. the truth is. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. eh? B A SCOTT Well. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody.. has a way of getting into my head.
as Scott enters. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. RAMONA Uh-huh.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111.so alone. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. Scott slumps to his knees. Ramona is gone.. SCOTT . I guess.. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD. The winds blow harder. ... F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. He flicks the light on.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany.. We had a good run.. Ramona seeming to fade away. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. SCOTT So.. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. A Ahhhhhh.. 96 INT. DA-DING. I really fought for you back there. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
But my Mentor. pal.S. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. Sadly. when my journey began.S. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. I feel terrible about everything.. guy. allies. Chaos Theatre.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. a call I considered refusing.) Sure thing. I don’t want any hard feelings.S. GIDEON GRAVES (O. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it.S. On PITCH BLACK. enemies. I was just about toSCOTT Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. 96 SCOTT . I was living in an ordinary world. during which I totally seized the sword. hands him the phone.. SCOTT Wallace.S. So I did. that’s you. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. I died. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto.) Scott. WALLACE (O. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. GIDEON GRAVES (O.. B A Um.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off.) Again? WALLACE (O.. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along.) F T A (CONTINUED) . But before I do that.. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. Gideon Graves. I need to ask one final favor of you. There were tests..
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. sorry. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. 96 SCOTT Sorry. exposing his junk. hardcore. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. Scott hangs up and heads for the door.
everything. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever.AGAIN. I know what I’m doing. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) .. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me. You guys sound better without me.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. the new line-up rocks. Kim shrugs.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. WAREHOUSE .. 96 SCOTT You seen one.. deadpan as ever.... The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. CHAOS THEATRE . From this point forward.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. knocking them out. SCOTT Don’t worry. COMEAU Yeah. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. 99 INT. you shall be known as “Neil”.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. Stephen. Young Neil? You have learned well. STREETS OF TORONTO . SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. 98 INT. 97 EXT.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A.
A strange new power overcomes Scott. backs to each other. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona.) Scott earned the power of self-respect.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. LEAPING in the air.. the club sucks. He unsheathes his SWORD.S. They land on opposite sides of the platform. I have beef.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD.O. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . different than before. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT. Ramona at his side. My cane. exploding each attacker into COINS. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. T SCOTT No. Scott goes straight into fight mode. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. Ramona hands Gideon his cane.I want to fight you for me. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. You’re pretentious. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. let’s do it. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat.. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 Gideon falls down.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. apparently. Dead. Scott calls out.
stunned. RAMONA Never felt better. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. Knives. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. Knives pulling KNIVES..you're not a fat ass. I hurt you. Knives steps back. Scott turns to Ramona. SCOTT No. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. I was a different guy back then. bloodied. She didn’t mean that. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. So.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . Scott jumps between them. Scott GRABS her wrists. taste my steel. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. GIDEON GRAVES (O. hands held out. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you.. All turn to see GIDEON.S. but still grinning. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. She kicks him in the face. And I’m sorry. I cheated on you. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. Ramona staggered. They square off. The CHIP no longer blinks. Ramona rubs the back of her head.
Scott steps into a fighting stance. 99 SCOTT Oh. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. the three of them ready to rumble. Knives joins him. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . you got a fight alright. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. GIDEON Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A.
Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. Gideon BLOCKS. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Gideon BLOCKS. Gideon swings at Scott. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. She looks doubtful. Ramona KICKS. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. They barely dodge him. The swords create an “X”. He cuts big arcs at Scott. his HEALTH BAR increases. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. Knives attacks and scores a hit. . baby. Gideon jumps after him. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . Gideon spins low. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. Gideon spins again and swings upward. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. takes a hesitant step towards him. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. disarms Scott with one move. dropping her. SCOTT ATTACKS. Gideon hits her back. He grins. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona.his glasses glow. expecting her to move. Scott ducks. knocking her down. Knives and Ramona. He shakes off the assault and grins. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. They fence. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. Scott leaps in the air. You’re still my girl. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Knives throws her knives. Knives whips off her scarf. They CLASH in the air.
COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. I’m what’s happening. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword.. You’re zero. sending him spinning. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. From the floor. Me? I’m what’s hip. (CONTINUED) .. Not long now. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. A pain in my ass. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. You’re nothing. I’m blowing up right now. she kicks him in the back of the head. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. She lands painfully at the bottom. Knives and Scott share a look. defeated. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. 99 Scott lands hard. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. One lens of his glasses cracks. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. They Get up and circle Gideon.
awake now. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. The coin rain continues. Oh. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face... Gideon’s head EXPLODES. Right now. Scott and Knives kiss.. They share a smile.) You two make a good combo. right? Kim points to the falling coins. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. You are blowing up.. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. RAMONA (O. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) .S.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. 99 SCOTT You’re right. And you got another thing right. Ramona. KIM PINE There goes our deal. makes her way towards them. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins.
SCOTT No. We actually have a lot in common.) You can defeat me. They chat amiably. Dark clothes.. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. We just shot the shit..EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps.. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT.. Fringed hair. This is something I have to face on my own. KNIVES CHAU Your hair.. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. THE WAREHOUSE . Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. Evil face. The glasses GLIMMER.. Both take a step forward. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . worried for Scott. Then. shake hands and part ways. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. Scott and Negascott face off.. They look expectantly at the entrance... GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. He’s a super-nice guy.yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. Knives and Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face. nothing. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw.S..but can you defeat.
104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A.
I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. RAMONA I dunno. you know? I came here to get away. F T Scott calls after her. I should probably disappear. SCOTT Hey.. Where are you going? Ramona. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. Snow begins to fall. stops and turns back. but the past keeps catching up. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . SCOTT I think I understand. B A RAMONA It's hard.. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. hoping to slip away. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. You do? Scott smiles. Ramona sees this and smiles. then realizes Ramona has gone. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. though. Steps tentatively away from Knives. literally taking his guard down. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. RAMONA I should tahnk you. He turns to see her.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119.
S. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad.. Scott watches.) Hey. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives. T Surprised. but thenSCOTT (O. Guitar still in hand. then hearsKNIVES (O. Bye and stuff. Before she’s gone. Knives doesn’t look back. Ramona walks on into the night alone.Nega Scott also sidles into frame.. RAMONA Well. We hear a COUGH .) Go get her.S. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. F KNIVES You earned it. then lets it drop.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her.. I’m too cool for you anyway. SCOTT Yeah. She takes his hand briefly. We hear a 2ND COUGH . And stuff. You’ve been fighting for her all along. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek.. She turns to walk off again. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her.
O. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier.. it was apparently awesome. snow swirling around it. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater.3. Yeah. try again? Ramona smiles.7. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. F JULIE (V. T Over this magical transformation. A We see the door with the star on it.. A STACEY (V..O.. night magically turning to day. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door.. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off.. Someone seriously should have been filming it.4.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B.) Oh my God...5...6.. It was unbelievable.9.. it was a HUGE fight... winter turning to spring.2...) Oh my God. standing right in the middle of the street.. sunrise coming up over Toronto. I mean bananas.... . Scott takes it. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves. Literally..8. CONTINUE? 10..1.
INTEGRATED FINAL 120. 105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .