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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. grumbling.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So.. 45. 22 YEARS OLD.S. Knives crouches down to pick up her books. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. 17. Scott grins heroically." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. THE BUS .. 2 KIM PINE Well. MOTHER CHAU. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. SCOTT (O. books scattering everywhere. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau..NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag.. cute and innocent with clothes to match. Scott winks at the camera. She's Chinese.) Hey. . Scott winks at Knives. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. RATING: AWESOME. sits next to her mother. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. demanding.
4 INT.. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .INTEGRATED FINAL 2A.. everyone looks at Scott.DAY Back in the kitchen. KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
B A Hey. She has the capacity to geek. He's the talent. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . SCOTT Oh. 4 SCOTT Yes. Scott smiles broadly. hey. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. I want her to geek out on us. Knives. SCOTT She’ll geek. Please be good. really. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. Let it be soon. Scott opens the door a crack. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. this is Stephen Stills. It is. 5 INT/EXT. She geeks.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. man.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A.
that’s Young Neil. Knives waves. drums. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good.Tetris.. YOUNG NEIL Oh. (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome.yes..) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. wow.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .S. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. ratty rug. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. KNIVES CHAU Hi. KNIVES CHAU Wow.. guitar. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb.Zelda. who finally gets it. sticks in her hands.. SCOTT Knives. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh.DAY Knives enters.that’s kind of a big question. I’m not in the band. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. I just live here. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. sorry. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil.. that’s Kim.. Amps hum to life. Lemme get your coat. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. . bass. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi. LAME BRAND amps.. 6 INT.
. Yeaaah.. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. 8 INT. what? KIM PINE I mean. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott. jaw ajar. SCOTT Yeaaah.are so. SCOTT B A Yeaaah. feedback lingering.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like. Kim. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE.. Knives watches...... Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics.. F (CONTINUED) . The song ends.amazing. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys. KNIVES CHAU I can't even. if your life had a face I would punch it. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. 7 EXT. Amazing. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended.wait..EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. BUS STOP .Sex Bob-Omb.
SCOTT Neil. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. she seems awesome. ha..INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. Kim. ha. 24 YEARS OLD. disloyal.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. arched eyebrow.. Don’t tell too many people. you were saying she seems awesome. "WALLACE WELLS. The whole seventeen year old thing. ha. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. SCOTT Yeaaaah. yes. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. I'm dating a 17 year old. dark hair. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. turns to Young Neil. FUTON included. WALLACE Yeah. You're totally my bitch forever. one room apartment. SCOTT So. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. . TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. ROOMMATE. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT.
9 WALLACE Hey. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A. you know me.
19.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. 9 SCOTT I mean. Knives Chau. you will not be served”. peppy barista. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. YOUNGER SISTER. Scott picks up.S.) You know me.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . Don’t tell my sister. Scott sinks into an armchair. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. WALLACE You know me. Duh. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. The phone goes. SCOTT That’s not true. Who told you? STACEY Wallace.S. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. starts texting." A STACEY (O. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. cute. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. WALLACE (O. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING.
looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad.simple.. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. At all. Uniformed boys and girls pour out.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. SCOTT This school has boys too. STACEY Oh my God.. the whole deal. WALLACE I hate you. I think she hugged me once. so I wouldn't call it dating.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. STACEY (CONT’D) So. more like. (CONTINUED) . are you legitimately moving on. you know? It's just. 10 EXT. 9 SCOTT Yeah. We haven’t even held hands. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . you haven’tSCOTT No no no. F T A SCOTT I don't know.. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. Scott. STACEY Um......it’s just nice. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. SCOTT Well.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.
side by side..8. like. counting down: 10.. The game ends.. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. this is my cool gay roommate. He’s gay. SCOTT Yeah.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. Does he wear glasses? .INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. SCOTT Hey Knives. KNIVES CHAU Oh. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move.wow. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O. Wallace Wells. 11 INT. Wow. T A WALLACE Yes. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. Scott looks at Knives. Run. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. Whispers.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott.S..9... SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. CONTINUE appears. THE ARCADE . She digs for quarters. You know.. WALLACE You're too good for him. KNIVES CHAU Oh.. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION).
surly with tats and specs: "JULIE.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. Hangers click in time. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. THE GOODWILL . Julie. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. but you guys ROCK. 13 INT. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. slices in hand. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . SCOTT Well. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. . 12 EXT.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. 22. we're already pretty big.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. Bobby. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. Thank you. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. you guys are gonna be HUGE. F T A A13 INT. Knives. "PIZZA PIZZA" .
(to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. Julie. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 13 SCOTT Thank you.
SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. I heart them so much. Scott hugs her. SCOTT Me neither. But that’s just me. KNIVES CHAU Oh.no. I've. you were saying about me? 14 EXT. 15 EXT..INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A .. F KNIVES CHAU I mean. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . so whatever. SCOTT Yeah.I've never gone out with someone so talented. 11. KNIVES CHAU .. SCOTT Sorry..DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment.
sitting up in the FUTON. You're just having some idiotic dream.. okay. Wow.so alone. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT.so... ..Scott wanders alone through a barren land. KNIVES CHAU Oh.. 17 INT. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands... Wind blows. an army jacket.. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott. But she's gone. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . She wears fishnets. Her pink hair is funky but cool. The light snowfall turns into sand. 16 (CONTINUED) . She is hotter than the desert sun. skirt and goggles. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone.. SCOTT Oh God. rubbing his eyes.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12.. SCOTT Here you go. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God.. Wow.. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. THE DREAM DESERT .? ... He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus.SCOTT WAKES UP.
. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream.. SCOTT But there was this girl.. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested. Other Scott goes back to sleep. 22.. F T A . six in the morning. Sunlight ignites the room. it wasn’t her. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. SCOTT No. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. OTHER VOICE Oh God. Wallace rubs his eyes. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like. Scott opens the bathroom door. WALLACE Speaking of new. WALLACE What is it. 17 WALLACE What is it. It was somebody new. Scott? A scruffy.
INTEGRATED FINAL 13A. THE LIBRARY . 18 INT.DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. STEPHEN STILLS (O.my hand slipped. I’ll be quieter.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl.CA to the librarian.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION. Let’s talk about something else. SCOTT Uh. (CONTINUED) . B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON.. SCOTT It was. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts.. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again.uh. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. Time slows to a crawl. head still in the clouds. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention..S.. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14.. He carries a stack of books for Knives.
But. you know. KIM PINE We're going to this party.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan.. Scott exits frame. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . F SCOTT Aw. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. JULIE'S HOUSE . YOUNG NEIL Sucks. so. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. Kim Pine. Both have red plastic cups in hand. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's. retard.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. 21 INT. T SCOTT Ugh... 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did.. what are we doing? 20 EXT.. This is going to suck. man. there may be some label guys there. Scott's head is still in the clouds. I thought you guys split. SCOTT .NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. 19 SCOTT Sorry. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party..this sucks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. 24. 22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE.
.Flowers. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. Comes into my work. Now. Stephen Stills is with her. JULIE She just moved here.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. SCOTT Yeah. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. arms crossed. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. Got a job with Amazon. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. Scott does not. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. . Aged 8” and yet..
yes. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE . Stephen.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. But I didn't want Scott to know that...
me and Kim are all good now. she justJULIE Scott. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. 22 SCOTT Yeah. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. He’s totally dating a high schooler. Ramona is out of your league. SCOTT looks to KIM. We hear the sound of arctic winds. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. . Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. whoa.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. JULIE Whatever. I don't know what it is about that girl. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. let’s leave it at that. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up.
From my dream.. landing next to Scott. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. WIDE awake. SCOTT So. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams..can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. Wallace storms in.. 23 WALLACE You guess right... 20.. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. WALLACE Library. and hey! There she is.. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. F T (CONTINUED) A . WALLACE You think he’s. that girl.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. Wallace flops onto the futon.. Okay.NIGHT Scott lies on the futon.. WALLACE There he is.. I don't know what it is about that girl. SCOTT I think she’s. WALLACE Girl.
. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right.. Bye. SCOTT Wait. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.girlfriend.. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it.fake.up.. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace.high school. cellphone in hand. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. RINGY RING! Scott answers. 23 WALLACE Mmm.. Wallace. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. friend... Who told you? STACEY Duh. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. B A STACEY Well. SCOTT What’s that? Break.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21.. I should send out a mass text about this. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. who is out cold.. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) .. Wallace drifts off. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something.
WALLACE Scott....hmm... SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE . Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK. 23 SCOTT Wallace.. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O.S. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool. SCOTT "Dear Mr..) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright....!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring.Amazon. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon.” Scott walks to the front door.. This is..ca. My name is Matthew Patel.THIS IS.this is... Pilgrim..ca.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22. Scott sits at Wallace's computer. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah.. . Moments pass.
INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest. WALLACE It's the weekend. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 23 SCOTT Maybe.
23 DINGY DONG.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring.. Knives chows down on a slice. his thoughts elsewhere. still distracted.DAY A . B 25 INT. Scott doesn't eat. SCOTT Attack hug. PIZZA PIZZA . SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door.. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. THE GOODWILL .. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. Scott JUMPS to his feet. out of sync. 26 EXT. Uh huh. SONIC BOOM ..INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. He plasters on his best fake smile. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. SCOTT That's sucky. That’s cute.
SCOTT I tell ya'. B A F T A ...but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek. 26 KNIVES CHAU .INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A.
SCOTT I can never get past that guy. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb... A NEGANINJA . Scott winces... SCOTT Um. KNIVES CHAU (O.9. NegaNinja.8.INTEGRATED FINAL 24.. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh. side by side. 28 INT.B.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION..I.1. 3. his timing off.. but he messes up.. (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott. Scott plays halfheartedly.. THE ARCADE .2. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . This is never easy..I think. Game.10. On..S.. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.B.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off..squares up against Scott’s avatar.. everybody.. Knives BURSTS into frame. The Rockit. staring out. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday.. I think.. Scott tunes his bass. And even better? It’s the T. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up. alone by the window. 27 INT. Scott takes a deep breath..
B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win.. Great. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. KNIVES CHAU (O. man..it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. It’ll be the cool kids too. F Oh. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come.) Crash and the Boys.) Oh my gosh. SCOTT Sure. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. She grabs Scott.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. This guy at work was like "Steve.S. Knives can barely contain herself. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right.
INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.S. they suck.S.) Oh my gosh.) Yeah. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O. . 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.S.
WALLACE'S APARTMENT .INTEGRATED FINAL 26.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. um. down a row of LOCKERS leading to.? 30 . skating past Scott and down the hall. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. around a corner.. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all.. but then I realized how stupid that would be.a long. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces.. 30 INT. entering. DINGY DONG.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. Scott exits the bathroom. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door.MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right. He stares at himself in the mirror. I dreamt you were delivering me this package.. RAMONA Um.... PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. it's just like. and you were in my dream. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds.. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it.. A (CONTINUED) .. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi. BATHROOM . Scott runs after her. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. no. that's okay.. 29 INT.. SCOTT RAMONA No. I was thinking about asking you out.
She gives him a pen.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. (CONTINUED) F T A . SCOTT But if I sign for it. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada.you need to sign for this. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. You’d be impressed. RAMONA You know. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day.. Not even.. RAMONA You still have to sign. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. you'll leave.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27.. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. That's how it works. SCOTT Okay well. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. I was the other guy. you're like American? RAMONA Why. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. I mean. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. Noooooo.. RAMONA Yeah. right? I've lived here forever. SCOTT So.. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. That was some total ass..
. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. yeah. Oh. So. PARK . RAMONA Well. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. And throws the package straight in the trash. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom. SCOTT Sorry.. RAMONA I need to find a new route. . 31 SCOTT You are like. I'm totally waiting on you.you know.. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28. You assumed wrong.my dream girl... I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me..NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park.if that's cool.
. They sit on some swings in the park. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here.is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) .a friend. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs.. RAMONA He’s..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. RAMONA This is good. SCOTT This is good.. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. F SCOTT Is Gideon... So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess.
T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. . SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. Chilled as in cold. B A Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. SCOTT Well. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy.. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment.. It’s weird. RAMONA Uh. it’s certainly chilled here. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. RAMONA Yeah.
mostly stupid. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. . Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. I can barely see you.. RAMONA This is ridiculous. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. Wallace is pretty gay. You're too desperate to be gay.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. night’s not over yet. Ramona walks away. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. RAMONA Well. no. SCOTT Yeah. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. RAMONA Dude. Laughing.. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. RAMONA Anyway. relax.. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date... SCOTT So this is a 'date'..... yeah. 34 SCOTT It’s. SCOTT I feel so stupid. I believe you.. The snowfall gets heavier. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. A Tongue.. Ramona hops off her swing.. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. you’re probably not that stupid.
.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. I can’t see you. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door.. I’m blind.. Help me.. I. SCOTT A door? I. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. ginseng.. ginger with honey. RAMONA'S APARTMENT .cold! RAMONA (O. constant comment and earl grey. Scott ventures upstairs. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime.) That's.. ginger without honey. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. Pushing it open. white truffle.. Ramona opens the door. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. green tea with lemon. What is that? B Ramona exits. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing.. After a moment alone.S. SCOTT That would actually be awesome.. liver disaster.) Here. vanilla walnut. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt. blueberry chamomile. vanilla almond. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness.) AAAH! Sorry. does this help? SCOTT (O. He wanders towards a half open door. sleepytime.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. girl friendly apartment. raspberry. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket. green tea with lemon and honey. T A (CONTINUED) . green tea.S.very warm.. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. He watches as she slips out of her coat.S. SCOTT (O. 35 INT. I'm just.
Pilgrim. Ramona breaks off.not have tea..what about our tea? SCOTT I can..maybe we should both get under it.. F T SCOTT Maybe. Not right now. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline. You can sleep in my bed.. Scott is in heaven.. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him.camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. A (CONTINUED) .. They tumble onto the bed and make out.kay... Scott takes his shirt off.. They look into each others eyes. revealing black panties to complement black bra.. RAMONA I changed my mind.kay... Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott. RAMONA Well.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess. A Ohh.since we're so cold.... SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off.. smiling.
WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. 35 SCOTT This is cool. Scott walking next to her. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. just this.. They exchange a smile..INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah.. Whatever this is.. and this is. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . can this not be a one night stand? For one thing. we're terrible. RAMONA You're welcome.. So. Scott relaxes.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. Please come. B A 37 EXT. SCOTT Hey. Ramona skates towards the front gate. . come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. RAMONA I have to work. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. I didn't even get any. It's been like a really long time. thanks. RAMONA'S ROOM . Ramona is gone.oh.that was a joke..I think I needed this. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT.
37 RAMONA Sure.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. WALLACE Hey.. I did totally come. hey! It’s tonight. Ramona is already skating far. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes.. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. Scott looks back up. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy.. far away. Scott is so amazed at her presence.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. his room-mate.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. RAMONA Hey. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. He’s chronically enfeebled. STACEY And this is Wallace. 212 664-7665. THE ROCKIT . He stands with Wallace and Stacey..At The- “THE ROCKIT. B A F T 38 INT. SCOTT Oh. I’m Stacey. reaching Scott at the bar. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. . Scott Pilgrim. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. girl number. STACEY Excuse my brother. his social skills vanish. She hands him a note.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. right back next to Scott. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”.
BACKSTAGE . STILLS We were just on stage. He didn’t even see Knives come in. wake up. PROMOTER (O. Scott’sScott goes white.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. Knives looks kinda sexy.uh. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. He pushes her away. The sound guy hated us. wearing makeup and new clothes.. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. THE ROCKIT. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. Wallace stares at Jimmy. SCOTT I. Go. wake up.. Scott scurries off. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . 39 INT. For sound check. To. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. 38 STACEY And this is Knives... Stacey stares at Scott. People love us.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band.
KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. THE ROCKIT. You passed.INTEGRATED FINAL 37. . STAGE . I am so very very sad. Kim glowers. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They." And it goes a little something like this. STAGE . A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. Please Die.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage.. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony.haven't started playing yet. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . I am Crash. 8 year old girl drummer..04 seconds. WALLACE Jimmy. and these are the Boys. CRASH Thank you. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. TOO? CRASH Yes.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. WALLACE That was a test. gives Wallace the finger. A41 INT. Jimmy. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. and it's called "We Hate You. THE ROCKIT. Wallace yells from the balcony. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. BACKSTAGE . 40 INT." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. TRASHA.
B A F T A . B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A.
He's a friend.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. BACKSTAGE . STAGE . we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. These guys are good. 41 INT.. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good.. THE ROCKIT. . A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience". He has so many friends.. BALCONY . The audience are stunned. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. THE ROCKIT. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes.CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. STACEY So Knives. THE ROCKIT. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. BACKSTAGE .. Stacey turns to Ramona.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So.um. 43 INT. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT.
FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole.you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. STAGE .. F (CONTINUED) . SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. sees Stacey talking to Knives.. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers. staring at the stage. KNIVES CHAU Well. 45 INT. ANGLE on Knives. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony...CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH...Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. Scott nods vigorously. THE ROCKIT. BACKSTAGE . THE ROCKIT. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face.you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. So give it up for Sex.. TWO. She faints in the excitement.INTEGRATED FINAL 39. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. BALCONY . PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. ONE. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott. THE ROCKIT... 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT.yeah.. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic.
Alright. Consider our fight. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. It is I. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . MATTHEW PATEL Mr..begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott.. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. Matthew Patel.. SCOTT Thank you. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona.. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. They land in THE PIT. Patel LANDS like a cat.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). Pilgrim. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. Pilgrim. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott blocks. then holds his hand up for a time-out. Patel punches.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. Scott blocks.
breathing heavy. Patel evades. I told him to hit the showers. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. We only kissed once. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. We were one hell of a team. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. They exchange furious blows. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. in the seventh grade. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. probably in the entire state. . Scott looks up to Ramona. non-jock boy in school.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. all the little jocks wanted me. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. Scott evades and counter-attacks. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. After a week and a half. landing kicks and punches. Matthew was the only non-white. Scott jump-spins away from danger. then lands more punches. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. They pause.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.
MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. T A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. Maybe you’ll see. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. He flips back onto the stage. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. Scott dodges. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. SCOTT Open your eyes.. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. Scott rolls across the stage. 47 SCOTT Dude. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. wait. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. you’re not the brightest. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. Patel levitates into the air.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. dodging a third wave of fireballs. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. POOF. narrowly dodging the attack. It hits Patel square in the eyes. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. Scott hits the ground..
They clatter to the stage floor. BALCONY . He explodes into COINS. Scott lands and picks them up. SCOTT Sweet. Coins. 47 K. Passes Stacey.O! Scott punches Patel.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. 48 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . THE ROCKIT.
Her eyes scan the venue for Scott.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home.40? That's not even enough for the bus home.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT. clapping wildly from the balcony.. SCOTT Aw man. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives. Ramona yanks Scott away.. THE ROCKIT. THE BUS .so like. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. Sex Bob-Omb wins. $2... 50 INT..CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . who is being resuscitated by Tamara. Ramona takes a breath. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. PROMOTER Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43. it was great meeting you.. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. STAGE .. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. I guess. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. BALCONY . 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. Tell your gay friends I said bye.. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT.. 48 RAMONA Well. THE ROCKIT.but he is long gone. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. The Promotor ambles back onstage.
And someone has a second date tonight. The studio audience applauds. 52 53 OMITTED INT. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. SCOTT Well. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. I mean me. Scott bursts through the front door. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. SCOTT So. a spring in his step. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. ... Scott kisses Ramona. right? I got to second base last night. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. The studio audience 'awwww's.. I guess. A bleary Wallace fries bacon.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much..maybe first and a half.. SCOTT Cool. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. someone got to second base last night.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. yes. what you're saying is. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. Do you want to make out? Uh.
. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon..You have to break up with Knives. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. WALLACE If you don't do it. T A . Scott... hey.. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. I swear to God.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner.but. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine. WALLACE Okay. If you have a problem with it. Scott.it's HARD.you're. F SCOTT But you. I don't want you gaying up the place.. SCOTT You’re a monster.. Today. so you can't be here tonight.. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum.. SCOTT But. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives..
INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.
Surprising no one.S. hey. Um.okay.. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out.. 46.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes. SCOTT So. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. bucko. Uh. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. KNIVES CHAU (O.. The one after that.. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. Wallace turns the television way up.. do you want to. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. like. Knives.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass.S. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. The next click is me hanging up. 54 EXT. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off. SCOTT You suck.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? ..is me pulling the trigger.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. I am stalking him later. B A Ummm. Hi. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . SCOTT Oh.
It's my birthday dinner. KNIVES CHAU No. SCOTT Like... Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah. SONIC BOOM .and... I'm in.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. B A SCOTT Uh. Chinese food? Yeah. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah. T (CONTINUED) A . pounding inside Scott's head. to meet my parents.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. SCOTT And. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. It’s not my favorite. KNIVES CHAU Oh. hey. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. really.INTEGRATED FINAL 47. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom. Like. 55 INT. it's okay.I think that's a really bad idea.. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist.. just so bad. Well.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm..... listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder.
. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop.I was thinking we should break up or whatever. listen. SCOTT Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A. 55 Knives is so smitten. the word actually appears onscreen. Scott brushes it away. B A (CONTINUED) F T A ..
CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading..it's not going to work out.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. No. I meant scum of the earth.. SCOTT Aw. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. leaving Knives in the aisle. KIM PINE Scott.. SCOTT Aw. her funky pink hair. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. We broke up. a little happier. YOUNG NEIL You. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . in shock..you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) .. you are the salt of the earth. thanks. Kim and Stills share a look. KIM PINE Wait.. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs.EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2. thanks. thinks of something happier.um. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles... 56 57 INT/EXT.. 56 INT. 57 SCOTT Oh. thinking about Knives. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out..
F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey.. that’s. whether they’re old. Like you said.. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG.. I just dyed it. now sporting BLUE HAIR. weirded out by this hair development. Kim mimes shooting herself. RAMONA Yes. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out.. SCOTT It’s all blue. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. new or new-new. We were lucky to survive that last round. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair.. RAMONA Hey everyone. Kim. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. B A Scott ushers her in. 57 SCOTT Yeah. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. Young Neil. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. this is Stephen Stills.you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . This is sudden death now. but don’t worry. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. RAMONA Yeah. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back..
57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A.
58 Ramona lounges. SCOTT Okay. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. preparing food as Wallace looks on. KIM PINE Believe it or not. what about rehearsal? 58 INT... SCOTT She changed her hair. Ramona goes to the bathroom. YOUNG NEIL . Starts ushering Ramona out again. Scott drops the act. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil.uh. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. I actually dated Scott in high school.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So... Get used to it. dude. reading a magazine.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. Scott fake laughs. He’s an idiot. KIM PINE Yeah. See you guys tomorrow. Cool. Good. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . good.
INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue.
Ramona returns. come find me at the Castle. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. good.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. See you in sixty. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. Wallace pulls on a jacket. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. Impulsive. picnic style. She’s spontaneous. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. Fickle. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. 58 SCOTT I know. “when”. Scott stops Wallace at the door. with a panicked whisper. Good. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. if you strike out in the next hour. A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. Oh my god. SCOTT Don’t go.
Ra-mona. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. it goes like this: Ra-mona. SCOTT No. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. Mona. Ra-mona. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. Or just all the time without even stopping. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. Ra-ra-ra. Mona. Ramona is taken aback. Ooooh. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. I could honestly eat it for every meal. RAMONA You'd get fat. A (CONTINUED) . Ra-ra-ra. Ra-mona. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food.
sorry.. NARRATOR It wasn’t.. I can barely remember it. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. It’s just that I got. T A ..she stopped liking me.. I like it long. It was brutal. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. 58 SCOTT Ha. three hours before his big breakup. Then. she told me it was mutual. Earl Jones deep.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. No. RAMONA Your hair is cute. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago. But she stopped liking that name... Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears.. But it’s so long ago.. NARRATOR She dumped him.. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean. SCOTT Not really. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. It was. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing.
I don't know. They’re shooting this movie up here. .. long handrail between them. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. F SCOTT Yeah. in which case I do drugs all the time. but. I just.you make me feel. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. I just love me some walking. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. unless you do.heightened. who? SCOTT I forget. T A SCOTT Nooo. Let’s find out. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. Things seem a little brighter around you or something. bright movie set lights. a castle surrounded by big... as if crossing a magical line. I don’t know. 59 EXT. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy.. Not that I do drugs.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. every drug. Putting one leg in front of the other... ENDLESS STAIRWAY .NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. RAMONA Oh. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA.
B A What? Why? Slut. T (CONTINUED) A . A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. RAMONA Oh. He skates towards the set. The spectators go “oooh”. I am not a slut. FIRST A. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. man. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. CASA LOMA . including Wallace. Mr. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). doing kickflips. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. RAMONA Ooh. We gotta go.D.INTEGRATED FINAL 55. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. 60 EXT. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown.
my. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade.. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. I just remember there being lots of drama. . LUCAS LEE Action. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott. it might have been math.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. RAMONA He just followed me around. We had drama.. who remains oblivious. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode..you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade.God. He was a little snot nosed brat. who gasps. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass.. Actually.... SCOTT Oh. SCOTT ..
crumbling it.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. He nods to Ramona. . wobbly. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. WALLACE Scott. How’s life? He seems nice. Fight. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. flooring him. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. Evil ex.
The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl.) Looks like you’re seeing double. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. SCOTT Hey. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. He slides across the wet-down ground.. SCOTT (O. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs.. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station.S. Tae Kwon Doe style.S. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. LUCAS LEE He’s good. hey. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble.) Mr. Scott staggers to his feet. A . We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. smirking on the sidelines. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. Suddenly. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. all identically dressed. Lucas Lee wanders off. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. Scott stands to fight the double. punchy..
RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. Lucas stomps over to him.. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. SCOTT You’re needed back on set. Lucas offers a hand.. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . framed through the torn skyline. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor.. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. Let’s get a beer. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. LUCAS LEE Prepare.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58.. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. Scott goes to shake it.. bro. . shocked to see Scott. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. well then don't worry about it. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen.no. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. 60 Lucas turns.. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. preparing for the deathblow.
Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. HSSSSSSSSS. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind..HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. F T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Wow. Lucas pulls down his shirt.. bro. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. very impressed at Lucas. impressed at Lucas... LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. ese. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs.. SCOTT So you can sell them. if it’s too hardcore. SCOTT Hey. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. WALLACE Hi. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching.. Big fan. I have my own skate company. a perfect ollie onto the rail. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL.. revealing a skate company tattoo..
Cut back to Scott & Wallace. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. Scott smacks his forehead. 60 SCOTT Wow.. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. HSSSSSSSSS. he totally bailed. WALLACE Wow.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph.
you said that last night.that’s a wrap everybody. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. 60 FIRST A. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). T SCOTT Hey. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott Pilgrim. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. .DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. It’s me. A Scott slumps on the couch. 212 664-7665.. she totally bailed. please record your message after the beep. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. It was right under your nose.. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. RAMONA is not available. Scott again.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. 61 INT. Call me back. phone pressed to his ear. Uh.D. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy.
B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything.S. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. Look. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. VOICE (O. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. Step up your game. then you have to let her know. you have to fight for it. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. WALLACE If you want something bad. Scott picks up. Scott slides to the floor. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone.) Hey Scott. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. Either way. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. Scott. I need you to move out. A SEXY. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. guy.. RINGY RING.. Break out the L-word. it’s “love”. You have the spirit of a warrior. completely shocked at this bombshell. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. .INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. but I just cashed my last raincheck. SCOTT Okay. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. SHWAA . A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. SCOTT Wait. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. T SCOTT Listen. technically this is not a nightmare. She spins to face Scott. darlin’. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. 62 SHFFF . Prepare to die. Hits SOMETHING. He’s pissed now. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. I’ve had it today.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. obviously.
SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . SCOTT Oh man. SCOTT Well. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. STACEY (O. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. But you won’t see me. STACEY (O.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A .the Mystery Attacker vanishes. Whatever it is.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. Scott looks to the sky.S. dialing Stacey frantically. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. baffled. Someone help me. It’s actually me. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken.S. BLOOR STREET .) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. then I’ll see you later. I’m really.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. it’s Scott. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. really not up for this. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. Scott is in his usual payphone. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. SCOTT It’s Scott.
a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. SCOTT Cool. And by the way. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK".) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh.) I’m literally about to leave.S. not happy. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. Are you still working? 65. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. (CONTINUED) . something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. I’m coming in. Scott turns back to Julie. 63 STACEY (O. mouthing that she has to go.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. THE SECOND CUP . Stacey turns around. Stacey has her back turned.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter.
SCOTT No. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. 23. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. She looks at the floor... I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom.. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. I do that. SCOTT Yeah. No. (CONTINUED) A Exes. "ENVY ADAMS. I want to hang. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. I know it's early days. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. You kind of disappeared.. RAMONA Yeah." The icy. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. They share an awkward moment. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. A . No biggie.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. Listen.
You guys should like.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. RAMONA I’m gonna. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. You’re so on the list. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY Great. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. . We’re playing Lee’s Palace. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah.. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. I’m jealous. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods.excuse me. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. Ramona goes to order coffee. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. so totally come. I know.. ENVY Okay. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy.
How. Ramona returns. Having the past come back to haunt you..what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. That. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. F T RAMONA So. SCOTT I can see how it sucks. RAMONA And two weeks later. 65 EXT. That didn’t end well either..DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. This guy Todd. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend.that was Nat? . 65 SCOTT No. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET .. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. sipping their coffees. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. that was Envy..INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. About.
65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A.
Ramona lounges on the couch. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. Ramona stops and kisses him.INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69.. Scott and Young Neil. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . SCOTT Right.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. 66 Scott stands (no pants). OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. Tricky. Mm. SCOTT Double negative. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . B A Word. From this moment on. Music swells. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT.. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. 66 INT. Move on. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .
And Envy asked us to open for them.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . STEPHEN STILLS No. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night.
CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. DRUG SMART .INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. SCOTT Yeah. for the band? For the band. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. You know. We need to get some buzz going.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. We need groundswell. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. pressed against the window. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it... Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. 67 SCOTT I hate you. Is a gig. We need stalkers.EVENING B A Yeah. .
B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. this really burns. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA.. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara.so good. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl..I look so. (CONTINUED) . TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. looking sexy. eyes narrowing. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot. This is all her fault. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault.INTEGRATED FINAL 71..EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young.. KNIVES’ BATHROOM . so he tried to find someone cool but old. 68A INT. Knives throws a long scarf on.
Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. Ramona excuses herself.Sold out’.CONTINUOUS A 70 .LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. F T 70 INT. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. LEE’S PALACE . We were Sex Bob-Omb. She knows we suck. drunk. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. Now. as she plots. But I know how to get him back. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. 71 71 INT. Bar. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. PUSH into Knives. LEE'S PALACE . TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72.NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. LEE’S PALACE . Tamara pops into frame.
INTEGRATED FINAL 73. Briefly. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. SCOTT Briefly. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. standing next to Ramona.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. Or is it. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. LADIES BATHROOM ..MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. LEE'S PALACE . LEE'S PALACE. looking hot. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. clothes and makeup. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. "KNIVES CHAU. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits.. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. 17. F T . RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. 72 INT. RAMONA Hey. confused. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. Knives follows.
25. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD.. Pee time. He’s alone.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. Stares at Scott. LEE’S PALACE.. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. revealing a stunning figure. Oh yeah. MENS BATHROOM .. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her. Knives screams her teen brains out. no longer shrouded in dry ice. Envy lets her coat slip off. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd. (CONTINUED) . 75 INT. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no.. "TODD INGRAM. A I know.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. he cuts a handsome. (sing songy) Peee time. ENVY in a long black coat. LEE’S PALACE .MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. You know? Oh yeah.” and “Who. I gotta pee. (turns beet red) I mean. striking ROCK GOD figure.. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light.. EVIL-EX #3. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. SPOOKY MUSIC begins.
Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors.LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb. LEE'S PALACE . 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A.
NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. Just oh my God. Everyone else feels. They’re so much better live. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . Oh. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. Envy burns a hole through Scott. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75.. Envy. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs.. you have to see them live. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. RAMONA Mmm hmm. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. LEE’S PALACE. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Hey Todd.“AWKWARD”. YOUNG NEIL Man. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. TODD INGRAM Been a while. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them.
Did you get those jeans in New York. I like your outfit Ramona. Stephen..Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. ENVY Just saying. JULIE Ramona lived in New York.. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. in general? T A . it’s not something I can really put into words. cute couple. ENVY So.Envy? I read your blog. Envy. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. KNIVES CHAU Um. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. ENVY I was just there. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. you know? You suit each other.. You know him. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah..
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .Knives stands up. 77 Scott looks at Ramona.. She is about to answer when..
Scott boils. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. Todd smirks. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. I’m a rock star. TODD INGRAM That’s right. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet.. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word.. ENVY You’re incorrigible.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. Young Neil escorts Knives out. 77 Envy nods at Todd.my neck. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. Out. grasping his neck.. B A F T A (CONTINUED) .yy. Her hair is black and plain as before. Todd sits back down like nothing happened.your hair. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd.. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid... Hair. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. Of. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage.. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR.. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. JULIE So. Scott hovers. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. SCOTT KK. choking. Her. I’m not afraid to hit a girl.
. He moans in pain.. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man. Scott sails out of shot and into space. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. SCOTT No kidding. He tries to keep cool. I always wondered. if you knew the science. SCOTT If I peed my pants. Ramona helps Scott to his feet. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. despite being in a lot of pain. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. While the others bicker. TODD INGRAM Bingo.vegan. A (CONTINUED) . question.. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78..anyone can be.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. 77 RAMONA It’s not raining.
RAMONA (V. A brief. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. RAMONA (V. RAMONA (V. Nobody cares.. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. Nobody cared. RAMONA Look.O.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79.) A week and a half later. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. so I dumped him. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends.) We hated everyone. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. 77 SCOTT Oh.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. It’s part of the reason I moved here.like that. We wrecked stuff..) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. I guess that’s not very nice. A (CONTINUED) . It was pretty crazy. but I used to be kind of.O. It’s pretty crazy. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd.O. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. Scott can only fixate on one aspect.O. RAMONA (V.
SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds.... call us when you’re done. STEPHEN STILLS Uh..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business.ready for another round. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. Stills calls through the hole..sort of ready for another round. T SCOTT A SCOTT I. so. B A SCOTT Sorry. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. We hear a distant CRUMP. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona . SCOTT You used to be so. Scott CHARGES at Todd. Right? ENVY Basically.cleans up..Monday.. She dusts.dust. I and he! Scott stands up . And the cleaning lady. SCOTT He and me....nice! F Um. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you.dislike you...
he’ll be done real soon. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. 77 ENVY Oh.
LEE'S PALACE . Todd floats toward him. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. LEE’S PALACE. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. Scott turns around on his knees. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. savoring the kill. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. I actually know how to play bass. wicked. 78 INT. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. You’re through. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. picking the hell out of his bass. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. 79 (CONTINUED) . RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. Envy grins at Ramona. amp pegged to 10. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. Pilgrim. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. The good one. I know. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. He hovers next to him. shredding him into oblivion. Todd calls to a roadie. Crummy way to end things. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. Your bass hand is badly injured. cringing. Suddenly. Todd LEVITATES. baby. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. fauxhawk rising. ENVY Sorry. floating towards Scott with his bass.
79 ENVY I’m sorry. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. but that's pathetic.
I poured soy in this cup. in my mind's eye or whatever. Thanks. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. 7:30 p.. Todd floats to the ground. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. tool. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book.m.m. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. you knowingly ingested Gelato. no vegan powers. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. I'll take the one with soy. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. bitch. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. SCOTT Actually. takes one of the cups and drinks. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. You know. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. A . on February 1st.
Julie pops into shot. shooting Envy a look on the way out. disgusted.. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall.. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. So I guess we’re even. F SCOTT Uh. Natalie. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. Envy blinks. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. 79 Envy gasps. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. Ramona follows. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. Now let’s get out of here. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. SCOTT Maybe they should. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. (CONTINUED) . in shock. Envy stares. I know. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. sorry I guess. jaw ajar.
I think a third of the band just went “poom”. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. I liked him.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. WALLACE Envy Adams. Ramona and Scott. And hot. KIM PINE Then why would we. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. I am so pissed off for you right now. 80 INT. 79 JULIE For the record. ENVY Shut the fuck up. It’s an odd mood.oh. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. STEPHEN STILLS Neil.. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. A (CONTINUED) .. on the fringes. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. That Todd guy was cool too. PIZZA PIZZA . Stills coughs. Julie.
RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. we can totally go. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there.. Yet. So let’s go.. Scott takes another bite.NIGHT A Oh. Oh. AFTER PARTY . He shrugs. Hey. not with fists. WALLACE I mean. Scott limps a bit. Ramona falls back with him. Ooh. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. so. lagging behind. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. B 81 EXT.
.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A. I’m fine. 81 SCOTT No.? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. It’s justRAMONA It’s just. I’m fine.
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
SCOTT What. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE.” RAMONA It was just a phase.. F T A (CONTINUED) ..is.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. 82 ROXY Oh boy.. The League hath spoken.. does she know me. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. If Gideon can’t have you.. clearing the busy dance floor. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here.she. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. Roxy flips out of the hold. The girls square off. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air.. B A ROXY Well honey. ROXY Back off hasbian.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. 23. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you. no one can.
Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. He’s a creep. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. this is live? Uh huh. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . leaving a dent in it. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. The belt wraps around it. ROXY Give it a rest. It smashes a speaker. With blinding speed. RAMONA Believe it. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. This is a League game. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. you slag. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. F WALLACE Oh yeah. Mirrored shards fly everywhere.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. Ramona. She BLOCKS with the hammer.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists. Or possibly feet. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A.
. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends.. Roxy falls.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. still in the splits. RAMONA Whenever we were making out. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. She staggers. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. . ROXY Fight your own battles. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey.. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling.never. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. They’re soft. winces. He lands HARD on the floor..be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. kicking them apart with the splits. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. She grins at Ramona. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee.. Some sooner than others..
82 The party starts up again. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott. a wave of gossip spreading around the room.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. Ramona tries to lighten things. Scott has already downed his second drink. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. RAMONA Sooooo. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. Looks hurt.. The gossip echoes around them. RAMONA I really think we should split.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. T A (CONTINUED) .. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. SCOTT Only on special occasions. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. Ramona follows tentatively. She touches her hair.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.
SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS.. Ramona exits proper. INGRAM.” 83 INT. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. You’re drunk. Scott looks at the list. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. KATAYANAGI TWINS. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. A (CONTINUED) . there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. Ramona leaves.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. GIDEON. I thought you might be more understanding. RAMONA Dirty laundry.. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. LEE. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public.Ramona returns. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. In fact I’m sick of it. You. Here’s your stupid list.S.NIGHT B A But then . Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. It reads“PATEL. RICHTER. RAMONA (CONT’D) P.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
She’s totally here.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 85 KIM PINE Oh.
23. The crowd cheers. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. we can do this. is serious and very Japanese.) They brought the house down.. Scott turns bleak again.. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage.. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. Scott. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. Can we do this? I mean. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear.S. (CONTINUED) . They are chatting.. SNOW falls onto the stage.. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. She is totally there. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. 23. KEN KATAYANAGI. She looks happy. Scott and Stills get into battle position.. leaving a huge hole in the roof. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. is very serious and Japanese. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care... An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. KYLE KATAYANAGI. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. Now an open air venue. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96.
Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. He struggles to his feet. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon.. T A (CONTINUED) . their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. comes in heavy on the kick drum. SCOTT Alright. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. This is GIDEON GRAVES.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. then helps Kim up. they sound awesome. Kyle looks at Ken.. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. We’re done. For once. Scott. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. 37. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. SCOTT Gideon. They share a nod. ASSHOLE.
eyes narrowing. but she and Gideon are gone. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. SCOTT You seem. What are you doing? .. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. I’m not even stalking you.was epic. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS.... 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. SCOTT Ramona. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. THE NINTH CIRCLE . hovering next to Scott. 86 EXT. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. Knives watches him go.. I have something I need to tell you. SCOTT Getting a life. He can’t find Ramona. Scott follows. SCOTT Ramona. I have something to- A Knives shrugs.. different. different. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. The crowd goes bazooky. RAMONA Yeah.
I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. And I want you to know. Listen. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. . I don’t care about any of that stuff. really mean it.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt.
GIDEON GRAVES The good news. I just.) That’s the bad news. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. A (CONTINUED) . What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. Oh okay. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. The Lincoln parks. Scott glowers...S.it's not going to work out.. B A Bob-omb. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. Scottie. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. 86 RAMONA Oh.. Ramona looks at the floor. VOICE (O. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99.I can’t help myself around him. Stills is ga-ga. T RAMONA It’s Gideon.. Okay. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. A driver opens the passenger door. GIDEON GRAVES You know. captioned “PEE”.. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final.
INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.
Kim shrugs and signs it too. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. buddy. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. bass in hand. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. Scott. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. GIDEON And hey. but if it wasn’t for you. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. I mean. So I guess it all shakes out. if it wasn’t for me. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. There are hand shakes all round. you would have never been with Ramona. before trying to hand it back to Scott. she wouldn’t be back with me. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. A . Scott stands alone. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. we should really be thanking each other. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. can I just say. SCOTT Nuh-uh. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. GIDEON Oh and Scott. A meek Young Neil slides into view. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. keep your emotions in check. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. A cough. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge.
thinking about Ramona.NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone... Scott tries desperately to think positive.. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car. 87 INT.. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN ...INTEGRATED FINAL 100A. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A ... A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona.
Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends.NIGHT Scott enters. Well that’s not so bad. gives Scott a hug. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. Over PITCH BLACK. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean.. Day turns to night. Scott looks at the camera.. 88 B A STACEY Oh. “THONK”. 88 INT. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. THE PARK .S.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings.. little brother.. Stacey heads off. Night turns to day. Flicks the light on. SCOTT Seven. Scott remains in the exact same position.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) .with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. staring straight ahead. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. F T A STACEY (O. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. STACEY Time heals all wounds. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole.S. Gets a shock.
S. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. and I apologize for that.S.) Or someone. But I need my own bed tonight.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102.) It’s Chris. wrapped in a blanket.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. SCOTT She’s with Gideon.) Sorry. T . B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe).S.S. Right. WALLACE (O. I get it. you know I love you. But you know. 88 WALLACE (O. A Right. SCOTT (O. That sucks. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott. WALLACE Ah.) It’s Chris. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. it’s probably just because he’s better than you.S. SCOTT And the year. 89 INT. Scott sits in the chair. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . VOICE (O. For sex.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too.
Scott nods. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 89 Scott nods.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair.
F GIDEON GRAVES (O.) Hey. I think this fight is over. SCOTT (O. it’s gonna be alright.S. 91 (CONTINUED) . INT. I don’t want any hard feelings. He calls off.) Yeah. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. 89 WALLACE Either way.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch. SCOTT RINGY RING. T A Thanks.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. Scott nods. pal. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. Some guy picks up. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. GIDEON'S LAIR .S. Scott stares at the phone.S. Are you with me? RAMONA (O.
) I hope so. What do you say? .NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. alarmed. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. Whatever. Finish him. HIPSTER KID Cool. STREETS OF TORONTO . Scott turns. B Password? Scott shrugs. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. Well as you know. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing.S. amigo.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. leaning against a warehouse wall. 92 EXT. Maybe I’ll see you there.S. Click.) What a perfect asshole. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. SCOTT Mm. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless.S) Sure you did. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters.
93 INT. B A F T A .NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. WAREHOUSE . So far so good. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. HIPSTER KID Cool. Scott steps into the elevator.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A.
94 INT. Don’t give him the satisfaction. their first album is so much better than their first album. (CONTINUED) . YOUNG NEIL on bass.S. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. They are legion. then you’re doomed.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. Ramona kneels at his side. Chuck Taylors. now using SWEET BRAND amps. COMEAU holds court among them.. COMEAU Yeah.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. CHAOS THEATRE . Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. wearing identical outfits. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go.. skinny jeans.. looking up at his former bandmates. welcome to the Chaos Theatre..the CHAOS THEATRE. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT. STEPHEN STILLS Well. SCOTT What if I have a beef. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage.
The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because. Gideon stands up. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest.. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. Gideon loses his cool. buddy.O. Ramona looks away from Scott. League. (CONTINUED) . Ramona and Scott lock eyes. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. Scott gets into a fighting stance.buddy. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving.. I’m in love with her. NARRATOR (V.) Scott earned the power of love. It’s ancient history... whatever. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. Gideon smiles. flexes.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. A new power comes over Scott.
Then from above.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. by the way. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. Scott looks to Knives.. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon.S.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Scott hits the ground HARD. (CONTINUED) . rolling to a stop. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. “KNIVES CHAU. My cane. He slashes at them to the beat. 18 YEARS OLD.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. SCOTT Your club sucks. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD... Gideon approaches. we are here to make money. ON BEAT. and sell out and stuff. She lands awkwardly. both concerned and amazed. Gideon chuckles. to administer a final blow. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. KNIVES CHAU (O. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle.. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. Gideon raises his sword. exploding each attacker into COINS. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless.
T A (CONTINUED) . But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. I didn’t steal anyone. He was warned plenty of times. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. distracted by his duelling exes. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. Kung Pao Chicken. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. separating them. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. KUNG FU STYLE. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. throwing blocks and punches. GIDEON lashes out at Scott.
GIDEON (O.maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away.. but.... but you can’t. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground..DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott.Scott's eyes blink open.S. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody... . 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott... KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me.. rubbing his temples. 95 EXT. Knives.cheat.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind. neither amused.. With you.death. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives. Okay? (beat) I mean. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white... I dated you and then I dated Ramona.SAND blows through frame. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us. THE DREAM DESERT .INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.. You can cheat on these ladies all you want...
95 SCOTT Ugh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . fainter than before.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. Ramona appears out of nowhere.
Ramona covers the chip. Seeing as I’m about to die.. RAMONA Alright. RAMONA No. RAMONA He’s like that. He just.. and that’s when he started paying attention. that’s legitimately disappointing. it was me who was obsessed. I was crazy about him. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. he literally has a way of getting into my head. self-consciously touching her hair.. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. Dying probably sucks. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.. maybe now would be the time to get into it. I really will leave you alone forever now. SCOTT That is evil.. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. has a way of getting into my head. Scott. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy.. eh? B A SCOTT Well. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. I mean. SCOTT Well. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. the truth is.. That’s why I had to leave. T A (CONTINUED) . But he ignored me.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110..
96 INT. I guess.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111.. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. The winds blow harder. RAMONA Uh-huh. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott..NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. . Ramona seeming to fade away.. We had a good run. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. He flicks the light on. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . DA-DING. SCOTT I feel like I learned something.. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD. Ramona is gone. SCOTT So. SCOTT .AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. A Ahhhhhh... as Scott enters. I really fought for you back there. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try.. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead..so alone. Scott slumps to his knees.
when my journey began.. guy. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal.S. There were tests. a call I considered refusing. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. I feel terrible about everything.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112..S. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. hands him the phone. But my Mentor. allies.) Again? WALLACE (O. I need to ask one final favor of you.) Sure thing.. WALLACE (O. So I did. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call.S.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off...S.) Scott. enemies.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. I was living in an ordinary world.) F T A (CONTINUED) . Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. pal. I died. Chaos Theatre. B A Um. Sadly.S. On PITCH BLACK. Gideon Graves.. I don’t want any hard feelings. during which I totally seized the sword. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. SCOTT Wallace. that’s you. But before I do that. 96 SCOTT . GIDEON GRAVES (O. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. GIDEON GRAVES (O.
exposing his junk. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. sorry. 96 SCOTT Sorry. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. hardcore. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”.
B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb.. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. Young Neil? You have learned well. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. deadpan as ever. 99 INT. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. 97 EXT. the new line-up rocks.AGAIN.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. STREETS OF TORONTO .DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES.everything. 96 SCOTT You seen one. knocking them out. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. From this point forward. COMEAU Yeah.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE.. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . Kim shrugs.... you shall be known as “Neil”. SCOTT Don’t worry. 98 INT. You guys sound better without me. CHAOS THEATRE . SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me. I know what I’m doing. Stephen. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS.. WAREHOUSE .
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A.
My cane. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. LEAPING in the air. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) .. You’re pretentious. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. A strange new power overcomes Scott. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. He unsheathes his SWORD. exploding each attacker into COINS. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. let’s do it. I have beef. different than before. the club sucks.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne.O. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. backs to each other. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Ramona hands Gideon his cane.. Ramona at his side. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick.I want to fight you for me. T SCOTT No.S. They land on opposite sides of the platform.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. Scott goes straight into fight mode.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott calls out. 99 Gideon falls down. Dead.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. apparently.
And I’m sorry. I cheated on you. taste my steel. So. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. Ramona rubs the back of her head. Scott jumps between them. Scott GRABS her wrists. GIDEON GRAVES (O. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. All turn to see GIDEON. The CHIP no longer blinks. SCOTT No.. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. She kicks him in the face. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . stunned. hands held out. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. I hurt you. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. Scott turns to Ramona. Knives pulling KNIVES. RAMONA Never felt better.S. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. I was a different guy back then. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD.. Knives steps back. She didn’t mean that.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. Knives.you're not a fat ass. but still grinning. They square off. bloodied. Ramona staggered.
Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. you got a fight alright. GIDEON Ramona. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. Scott steps into a fighting stance. Knives joins him. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. 99 SCOTT Oh. the three of them ready to rumble.
baby. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Gideon spins low. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. He grins. takes a hesitant step towards him. They CLASH in the air. expecting her to move. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. Knives attacks and scores a hit. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. He shakes off the assault and grins. Gideon spins again and swings upward. knocking her down. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. disarms Scott with one move. Ramona KICKS. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. She looks doubtful. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. Gideon BLOCKS. . He cuts big arcs at Scott. They fence.his glasses glow. Gideon swings at Scott. Scott leaps in the air. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. They barely dodge him. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. The swords create an “X”. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. Knives and Ramona. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. You’re still my girl. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Scott ducks. SCOTT ATTACKS. Knives throws her knives. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. dropping her. Gideon jumps after him. Knives whips off her scarf. Gideon hits her back. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. his HEALTH BAR increases. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . Gideon BLOCKS. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE.
He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. You’re nothing.. Me? I’m what’s hip. You’re zero. They Get up and circle Gideon. (CONTINUED) . sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. 99 Scott lands hard. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. I’m blowing up right now. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. One lens of his glasses cracks. Not long now. A pain in my ass. sending him spinning. defeated. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. I’m what’s happening. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches.. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. she kicks him in the back of the head. She lands painfully at the bottom. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. Knives and Scott share a look. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. From the floor. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A.
right? Kim points to the falling coins.) You two make a good combo. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. RAMONA (O. Oh. KIM PINE There goes our deal.. makes her way towards them. 99 SCOTT You’re right.. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. Scott and Knives kiss. Right now. And you got another thing right. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) . Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. You are blowing up. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. I’m not cool enough for Ramona.S. Gideon’s head EXPLODES. The coin rain continues. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. They share a smile..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. awake now.. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. Ramona.
Fringed hair. Evil face. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) .. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. nothing. shake hands and part ways. We just shot the shit..yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses.. Knives and Ramona.. THE WAREHOUSE .. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face... The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side.. Both take a step forward. GIDEON’S VOICE (O.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. We actually have a lot in common. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. Scott and Negascott face off.) You can defeat me. SCOTT No. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott.but can you defeat. The glasses GLIMMER. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT.. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. He’s a super-nice guy. worried for Scott. Then. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. This is something I have to face on my own.. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. They chat amiably. They look expectantly at the entrance. Dark clothes.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118.S. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance.
INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A. 104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. literally taking his guard down. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. SCOTT I think I understand. RAMONA I should tahnk you. you know? I came here to get away. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. B A RAMONA It's hard. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. SCOTT Hey. stops and turns back. but the past keeps catching up. Snow begins to fall.. though. F T Scott calls after her. Where are you going? Ramona. I should probably disappear. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. then realizes Ramona has gone. hoping to slip away. Ramona sees this and smiles. He turns to see her. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . You do? Scott smiles.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. RAMONA I dunno. Steps tentatively away from Knives.
SCOTT Yeah. We hear a COUGH .Nega Scott also sidles into frame. She turns to walk off again.. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek.S. Knives doesn’t look back.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. Scott watches.. And stuff. I’m too cool for you anyway. Guitar still in hand. Bye and stuff. then hearsKNIVES (O. Ramona walks on into the night alone. She takes his hand briefly. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives.) Hey. but thenSCOTT (O. F KNIVES You earned it.S. You’ve been fighting for her all along.) Go get her. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad.. We hear a 2ND COUGH . 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. RAMONA Well.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. T Surprised. A (CONTINUED) . KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. then lets it drop. Before she’s gone.. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her.
Someone seriously should have been filming it..INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B..4..O..8. Literally.. sunrise coming up over Toronto.3. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door. try again? Ramona smiles.) Oh my God. It was unbelievable. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside. A STACEY (V.. A We see the door with the star on it.1. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves.. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater. snow swirling around it..6. it was a HUGE fight. CONTINUE? 10.... I mean bananas. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off..2. T Over this magical transformation.5. night magically turning to day...9. Scott takes it. F JULIE (V. Yeah. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars...... She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier.. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could.) Oh my God.. it was apparently awesome.. standing right in the middle of the street. .O. winter turning to spring.7.
INTEGRATED FINAL 120. 105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .
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