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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
2 KIM PINE Well. Knives crouches down to pick up her books.) Hey. Scott grins heroically.. Scott winks at Knives. MOTHER CHAU. SCOTT (O. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. demanding. RATING: AWESOME. 45. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. 22 YEARS OLD. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau.. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. She's Chinese.." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. THE BUS . YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT.. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. books scattering everywhere. 17. Scott winks at the camera. sits next to her mother. .INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. cute and innocent with clothes to match.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag.S. grumbling.
KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .DAY Back in the kitchen. everyone looks at Scott.. 4 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 2A.. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .
INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. B A Hey.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. Knives. hey. SCOTT Oh. Let it be soon. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. Please be good. She geeks. 4 SCOTT Yes. I want her to geek out on us. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. It is. Scott smiles broadly. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. this is Stephen Stills. Scott opens the door a crack. SCOTT She’ll geek. man. She has the capacity to geek. 5 INT/EXT. He's the talent. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . really.
5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A.
.. LAME BRAND amps.S. Amps hum to life. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb.. what was your name? KIM PINE (O.Tetris.. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good... What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. I’m not in the band. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. that’s Kim. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . that’s Young Neil. .INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. guitar. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor.that’s kind of a big question. SCOTT Knives. who finally gets it. KNIVES CHAU Wow. 6 INT.yes.DAY Knives enters. (CONTINUED) ..Zelda. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. KNIVES CHAU Hi. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi. ratty rug. sorry. Knives waves. YOUNG NEIL Oh.. drums. sticks in her hands. bass. wow. I just live here.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. Lemme get your coat.
7 EXT.. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics. BUS STOP . 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus.. Amazing. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like. jaw ajar. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room.. SCOTT Yeaaah. SCOTT B A Yeaaah. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music..amazing. feedback lingering. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE.. The song ends. if your life had a face I would punch it.. what? KIM PINE I mean. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome.. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott. Yeaaah.Sex Bob-Omb. Kim. 8 INT..EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys. KNIVES CHAU I can't even.wait..are so. F (CONTINUED) . Knives watches..
B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . yes. FUTON included. I'm dating a 17 year old. you were saying she seems awesome. . FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. WALLACE Yeah. ha. ROOMMATE. "WALLACE WELLS. she seems awesome. SCOTT Neil. one room apartment.. The whole seventeen year old thing. SCOTT Yeaaaah.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. ha. You're totally my bitch forever.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. disloyal. turns to Young Neil. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. Don’t tell too many people. ha. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. SCOTT So.. Kim. 24 YEARS OLD. arched eyebrow. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. dark hair.
you know me. 9 WALLACE Hey. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A.
) You know me. Scott sinks into an armchair. Knives Chau. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives.S. WALLACE (O. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP.S." A STACEY (O. SCOTT That’s not true. WALLACE You know me.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. Don’t tell my sister. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. YOUNGER SISTER.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. peppy barista. you will not be served”. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. 9 SCOTT I mean. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. Duh. cute. 19. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. starts texting. The phone goes. Scott picks up.
SCOTT Well. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. STACEY Oh my God. STACEY (CONT’D) So..it’s just nice. We haven’t even held hands. you know? It's just.simple.. I think she hugged me once. are you legitimately moving on. (CONTINUED) . more like. WALLACE I hate you.. 10 EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. Uniformed boys and girls pour out. At all. STACEY Um.. Scott.. 9 SCOTT Yeah.. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. so I wouldn't call it dating.. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. F T A SCOTT I don't know.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. you haven’tSCOTT No no no. the whole deal. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. SCOTT This school has boys too.. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine.
INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. Wallace Wells.. SCOTT Hey Knives.. Run. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod.. SCOTT Yeah. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind.wow. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. WALLACE You're too good for him. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION).) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. He’s gay. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. Wow. Whispers. The game ends. like. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. THE ARCADE . CONTINUE appears. Scott looks at Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. KNIVES CHAU Oh. side by side... this is my cool gay roommate. KNIVES CHAU Oh.. You know. 11 INT. T A WALLACE Yes.9.8. counting down: 10. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize.S. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O. Does he wear glasses? . She digs for quarters. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close..
SCOTT Well.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. you guys are gonna be HUGE. Bobby. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. Thank you. Hangers click in time. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. . 22. F T A A13 INT. 12 EXT. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. "PIZZA PIZZA" . KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. Knives. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. 13 INT. we're already pretty big. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . Julie. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. THE GOODWILL . KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. slices in hand. but you guys ROCK.
13 SCOTT Thank you. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Julie. (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A.
DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. SCOTT Sorry. I heart them so much. SCOTT Me neither. you were saying about me? 14 EXT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . F KNIVES CHAU I mean. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . KNIVES CHAU .no.. SCOTT Yeah. 11.. KNIVES CHAU Oh.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment.I've never gone out with someone so talented. But that’s just me.. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. Scott hugs her. so whatever. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. SNOWY TORONTO STREET .INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them.. 15 EXT. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. I've.
. SCOTT Oh God. SCOTT Here you go. 17 INT.so..SCOTT WAKES UP. She is hotter than the desert sun.. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals.? . SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. . MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus. Her pink hair is funky but cool. KNIVES CHAU Oh. okay. 16 (CONTINUED) . Wow... skirt and goggles. sitting up in the FUTON.. Wind blows. THE DREAM DESERT .. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands.. She wears fishnets. rubbing his eyes.. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God. Wow.. You're just having some idiotic dream. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. But she's gone. an army jacket.. The light snowfall turns into sand.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12...so alone.Scott wanders alone through a barren land.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure.
Scott? A scruffy. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. WALLACE What is it. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. SCOTT But there was this girl. Other Scott goes back to sleep. 22. It was somebody new. F T A . Sunlight ignites the room. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like.. WALLACE Speaking of new. six in the morning. SCOTT No. Scott opens the bathroom door. 17 WALLACE What is it... WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. OTHER VOICE Oh God. Wallace rubs his eyes. it wasn’t her.
18 INT. THE LIBRARY .INTEGRATED FINAL 13A.DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Let’s talk about something else.S. STEPHEN STILLS (O..my hand slipped.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. SCOTT Uh. (CONTINUED) .. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl.. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . SCOTT It was. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. head still in the clouds.uh. I’ll be quieter. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. He carries a stack of books for Knives. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION....CA to the librarian. Time slows to a crawl.
what are we doing? 20 EXT. man.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's. 21 INT. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party.. Both have red plastic cups in hand. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street.this sucks.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. T SCOTT Ugh. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . JULIE'S HOUSE . KIM PINE We're going to this party. Scott's head is still in the clouds. Scott exits frame. there may be some label guys there. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did... so. This is going to suck. retard. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. F SCOTT Aw.. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about.. you know.. But. I thought you guys split. Kim Pine. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. SCOTT . TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. 19 SCOTT Sorry.
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. 24.
.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18.. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass.Flowers. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. Aged 8” and yet. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. Got a job with Amazon. SCOTT Yeah. JULIE She just moved here. Comes into my work. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. arms crossed. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. Scott does not. Stephen Stills is with her. Now. . Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A ... Stephen. But I didn't want Scott to know that.yes. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. 22 SCOTT Yeah. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. . I don't know what it is about that girl. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. let’s leave it at that. JULIE Whatever. whoa. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. Ramona is out of your league. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. He’s totally dating a high schooler. We hear the sound of arctic winds. she justJULIE Scott. SCOTT looks to KIM. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. me and Kim are all good now. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey.
.. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. landing next to Scott.. WALLACE Library.. Wallace storms in. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. F T (CONTINUED) A .. that girl. Wallace flops onto the futon. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . and hey! There she is. WALLACE Girl. 23 WALLACE You guess right.NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. WALLACE There he is.. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. SCOTT So.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT.. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace.. I don't know what it is about that girl. WIDE awake. 20. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup. WALLACE You think he’s. From my dream. Okay.. SCOTT I think she’s..
WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it.. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.. I should send out a mass text about this.fake. SCOTT Wait. friend. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something... STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.up. Wallace drifts off.. Who told you? STACEY Duh..INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. B A STACEY Well.. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. who is out cold.high school. cellphone in hand. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. 23 WALLACE Mmm. Wallace. Bye. RINGY RING! Scott answers. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) .. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever.. SCOTT What’s that? Break. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.girlfriend.
My name is Matthew Patel.S. Scott sits at Wallace's computer. WALLACE Scott.. 23 SCOTT Wallace. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah.ca. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon..Amazon. This is. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days.) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright... . What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool... T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE ...!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring.... SCOTT "Dear Mr..” Scott walks to the front door.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.THIS IS.this is. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon.. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O.. Pilgrim..hmm.. Moments pass. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK.ca.
WALLACE It's the weekend.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. 23 SCOTT Maybe. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. his thoughts elsewhere. out of sync.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint.. still distracted. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door.. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. Scott JUMPS to his feet. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring.DAY A .INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. SCOTT Attack hug. 26 EXT. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy. THE GOODWILL . 23 DINGY DONG. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. He plasters on his best fake smile. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. Scott doesn't eat.. Knives chows down on a slice. SCOTT That's sucky. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. Uh huh. That’s cute. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign.. SONIC BOOM . B 25 INT.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. PIZZA PIZZA .
SCOTT I tell ya'.. B A F T A . 26 KNIVES CHAU .but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek..INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A.
. (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up... KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott. Scott plays halfheartedly. And even better? It’s the T.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb. 28 INT. A NEGANINJA . Scott tunes his bass. but he messes up..B. side by side.. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday.squares up against Scott’s avatar.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. The Rockit..INTEGRATED FINAL 24.8.I think. On. his timing off. NegaNinja. 3. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show.2. staring out. 27 INT...I.S.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off... This is never easy.. I think.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .10. KNIVES CHAU (O.B. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives. THE ARCADE ..1. Scott takes a deep breath.9. Game. alone by the window... SCOTT Um. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. everybody. Scott winces... THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.. Knives BURSTS into frame.
KNIVES CHAU (O.. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Sure.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. This guy at work was like "Steve. F Oh. Knives can barely contain herself.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. Great. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story.) Crash and the Boys.) Oh my gosh.S. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win.S. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. She grabs Scott. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. It’ll be the cool kids too. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. man..
. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O. they suck.) Oh my gosh.) Yeah.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.S.S. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.S.
29 INT.. that's okay.MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi.. I dreamt you were delivering me this package. A (CONTINUED) .. and you were in my dream. 30 INT. but then I realized how stupid that would be. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces.. um. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all.INTEGRATED FINAL 26. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. it's just like.a long. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up... He stares at himself in the mirror. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. down a row of LOCKERS leading to. around a corner... Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. RAMONA Um. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. DINGY DONG. Scott runs after her. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . no. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . BATHROOM . RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door... entering. I was thinking about asking you out... skating past Scott and down the hall. SCOTT RAMONA No.? 30 . Scott exits the bathroom.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie.
SCOTT So. RAMONA Yeah. I was the other guy. SCOTT But if I sign for it.. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. You’d be impressed.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27.. SCOTT Okay well.. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada.you need to sign for this.. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. That was some total ass. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. She gives him a pen. Not even. That's how it works.. you'll leave.. RAMONA You still have to sign. Noooooo. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. RAMONA You know. (CONTINUED) F T A . right? I've lived here forever. you're like American? RAMONA Why. I mean. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place.
SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude.. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. SCOTT Sorry. 31 SCOTT You are like. And throws the package straight in the trash. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. So. RAMONA I need to find a new route.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park.. RAMONA Well. You assumed wrong. yeah. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them... Oh.. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT.. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um.my dream girl. PARK . I'm totally waiting on you. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28.you know.if that's cool. . SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me.
. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs.is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) .. F SCOTT Is Gideon. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs.. They sit on some swings in the park. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so... SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do.. RAMONA This is good. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence. SCOTT This is good. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. RAMONA He’s.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29.a friend.
SCOTT Well.. RAMONA Yeah. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. B A Um. Chilled as in cold. RAMONA Uh. it’s certainly chilled here. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. It’s weird. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. .
SCOTT Yeah.. Laughing. relax. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. you’re probably not that stupid... RAMONA This is ridiculous. Wallace is pretty gay. RAMONA Well. RAMONA Anyway. mostly stupid. yeah. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date... Ramona walks away. Ramona hops off her swing.. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere.. SCOTT So this is a 'date'.. RAMONA Dude.. The snowfall gets heavier. SCOTT I feel so stupid. I believe you. A Tongue. .. no. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. You're too desperate to be gay.. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. night’s not over yet. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. 34 SCOTT It’s. I can barely see you..
. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. SCOTT A door? I. I’m blind. I.. Help me... B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. I can’t see you.
. blueberry chamomile. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. Scott ventures upstairs. SCOTT (O. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness. raspberry. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime.) AAAH! Sorry. Ramona opens the door..S.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. girl friendly apartment. 35 INT. ginger without honey. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . He wanders towards a half open door. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. T A (CONTINUED) .S. ginseng. What is that? B Ramona exits. sleepytime. I'm just. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. vanilla walnut. liver disaster.S.cold! RAMONA (O. Pushing it open. does this help? SCOTT (O.. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. After a moment alone... He watches as she slips out of her coat.) That's.very warm. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket. ginger with honey.) Here. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing.. constant comment and earl grey. white truffle. green tea. vanilla almond. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. green tea with lemon and honey. green tea with lemon. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness.
kay. You can sleep in my bed. Not right now.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything....camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.since we're so cold. RAMONA Well. revealing black panties to complement black bra. Pilgrim.kay. A (CONTINUED) .maybe we should both get under it. smiling. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline.what about our tea? SCOTT I can.not have tea... F T SCOTT Maybe. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott. Scott is in heaven. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you... 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you..were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess. Ramona breaks off.... A Ohh. They look into each others eyes.... Scott takes his shirt off. They tumble onto the bed and make out.. RAMONA I changed my mind..
WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. RAMONA I have to work.. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. I didn't even get any. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. Please come. 35 SCOTT This is cool. B A 37 EXT. . Scott walking next to her. Ramona skates towards the front gate.oh. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing. Ramona is gone. Whatever this is. They exchange a smile. RAMONA You're welcome.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. RAMONA'S APARTMENT .MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel... RAMONA'S ROOM . SCOTT Hey.. we're terrible. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. and this is. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. It's been like a really long time.that was a joke. So.I think I needed this.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens.. just this. thanks.. Scott relaxes. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him.
37 RAMONA Sure. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A.
Scott looks back up. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. reaching Scott at the bar. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS.. STACEY Excuse my brother. Ramona is already skating far... FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. WALLACE Hey. STACEY And this is Wallace.At The- “THE ROCKIT. I’m Stacey. Scott is so amazed at her presence. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. 212 664-7665. THE ROCKIT . girl number. far away. I did totally come. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes.. RAMONA Hey. . B A F T 38 INT. hey! It’s tonight. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. She hands him a note. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. SCOTT Oh.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. his room-mate. right back next to Scott. his social skills vanish.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. He’s chronically enfeebled. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. Scott Pilgrim.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35.
Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. SCOTT I. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? .uh. To. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. Scott’sScott goes white. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. People love us. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. wake up. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. 39 INT. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. He pushes her away. wearing makeup and new clothes.. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare.. wake up. STILLS We were just on stage.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. For sound check. We hear feedback from a mic onstage.. Knives looks kinda sexy. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. BACKSTAGE . Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY.. Stacey stares at Scott. The sound guy hated us. PROMOTER (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. Scott scurries off. Go. He didn’t even see Knives come in. Wallace stares at Jimmy. THE ROCKIT.
Please Die. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. Wallace yells from the balcony. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE.. TRASHA. WALLACE Jimmy.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. I am Crash.. and these are the Boys." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . 40 INT. THE ROCKIT. Jimmy. THE ROCKIT. and it's called "We Hate You.INTEGRATED FINAL 37. I am so very very sad. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. TOO? CRASH Yes. BACKSTAGE ." And it goes a little something like this. CRASH Thank you. WALLACE That was a test. STAGE . You passed. 8 year old girl drummer. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. gives Wallace the finger. Kim glowers. . STAGE . A41 INT. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony.04 seconds.haven't started playing yet. THE ROCKIT.
INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B A F T A . B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.
BACKSTAGE . 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever.. . YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT. He has so many friends. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. THE ROCKIT.. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. BACKSTAGE . 41 INT. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. BALCONY . The audience are stunned. STAGE .CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band.CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience".CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. Stacey turns to Ramona. These guys are good.. THE ROCKIT. STACEY So Knives. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. 43 INT. He's a friend.um. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win..
PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and... I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. STAGE . BALCONY .you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. KNIVES CHAU Well.. So give it up for Sex. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott. TWO... 45 INT. THE ROCKIT. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE... sees Stacey talking to Knives. staring at the stage. Scott nods vigorously. ONE.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face.. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole.. THE ROCKIT. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. ANGLE on Knives..you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. She faints in the excitement. F (CONTINUED) .CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony.INTEGRATED FINAL 39. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic.yeah. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. BACKSTAGE .
Pilgrim. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . It is I.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40.. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). Pilgrim.. Consider our fight. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. B A Patel RUNS at Scott.. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. Alright. They land in THE PIT. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe.. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. SCOTT Thank you. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. Patel LANDS like a cat. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. Matthew Patel.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Scott blocks. Scott blocks. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. then holds his hand up for a time-out. Patel punches.
47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. non-jock boy in school. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. After a week and a half. I told him to hit the showers. Scott jump-spins away from danger. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. breathing heavy. We only kissed once. Matthew was the only non-white. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. probably in the entire state. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. in the seventh grade. We were one hell of a team. Patel evades. Scott looks up to Ramona. They exchange furious blows. Scott evades and counter-attacks. then lands more punches. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. . The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. all the little jocks wanted me. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. landing kicks and punches. They pause.
47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A.
POOF. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. Scott hits the ground. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. you’re not the brightest. Scott dodges. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. Maybe you’ll see. SCOTT Open your eyes. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. Patel levitates into the air. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. narrowly dodging the attack. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. T A (CONTINUED) . You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. 47 SCOTT Dude. The house drum kit is trashed behind him.. wait. It hits Patel square in the eyes. dodging a third wave of fireballs. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. He flips back onto the stage. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. Scott rolls across the stage.. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme.
CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. 48 INT. Passes Stacey. BALCONY . SCOTT Sweet. He explodes into COINS. 47 K. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Coins. Scott lands and picks them up. They clatter to the stage floor.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A.O! Scott punches Patel. THE ROCKIT.
Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them.40? That's not even enough for the bus home. STAGE . THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT.. 50 INT. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. 48 RAMONA Well. PROMOTER Yeah.. The Promotor ambles back onstage. SCOTT Aw man. I guess. Sex Bob-Omb wins. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date.. BALCONY . who is being resuscitated by Tamara. clapping wildly from the balcony.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake.CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. Tell your gay friends I said bye. Ramona yanks Scott away... STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. it was great meeting you. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. Ramona takes a breath.but he is long gone. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. $2. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. THE BUS .... Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home.so like.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43.. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh.
SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. SCOTT Cool.. I mean me.. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. . The studio audience applauds. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. Do you want to make out? Uh.. SCOTT Well. B WALLACE Someone’s happy.. I guess. Scott kisses Ramona. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. SCOTT So. And someone has a second date tonight. what you're saying is. Scott bursts through the front door.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott.. a spring in his step. 52 53 OMITTED INT. right? I got to second base last night. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. yes. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. The studio audience 'awwww's.maybe first and a half. someone got to second base last night.
so you can't be here tonight.You have to break up with Knives. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. T A . But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. (CONTINUED) B A Morning.but.. SCOTT But.. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. F SCOTT But you. I don't want you gaying up the place.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45..it's HARD... I swear to God. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook... Scott.you're.. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. WALLACE If you don't do it. Today. hey. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine. SCOTT You’re a monster. Scott.. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. WALLACE Okay. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives.. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. If you have a problem with it.
53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A.
talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh.. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. The one after that. B A Ummm. bucko. The next click is me hanging up.is me pulling the trigger. like.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. I am stalking him later. Surprising no one. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . KNIVES CHAU (O. hey.. Um. 54 EXT. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. Uh. Wallace turns the television way up.S.. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes. Hi. SCOTT You suck.okay...INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. SCOTT So. do you want to.. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard.S. 46. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. SCOTT Oh. Knives.
.. it's okay.I think that's a really bad idea. It’s not my favorite. SCOTT Like.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. Chinese food? Yeah. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 47. SCOTT And. I'm in. It's my birthday dinner.. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. to meet my parents. SONIC BOOM . Like.. B A SCOTT Uh. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder. really. KNIVES CHAU No. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm.. KNIVES CHAU Oh.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. just so bad. Why? SCOTT Well I mean... hey. Well. 55 INT. T (CONTINUED) A ... Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah.. pounding inside Scott's head.and.
. Scott brushes it away. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. listen.I was thinking we should break up or whatever. 55 Knives is so smitten. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop. the word actually appears onscreen. SCOTT Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A.
Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune.. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out.. THE BUS / RECORD STORE .it's not going to work out. YOUNG NEIL You. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs.. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. you are the salt of the earth. We broke up.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone... KIM PINE Wait.. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. 57 SCOTT Oh. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. thinking about Knives.. SCOTT Aw. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . KIM PINE Scott. her funky pink hair. thinks of something happier. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. Oh. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles. a little happier.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. Kim and Stills share a look.. thanks. SCOTT Aw. thanks.you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . 56 57 INT/EXT. No. leaving Knives in the aisle. 56 INT..EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up.um. I meant scum of the earth. in shock..
RAMONA Yeah. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. RAMONA Hey everyone. This is sudden death now. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it.you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . Kim. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out.. whether they’re old. new or new-new.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. B A Scott ushers her in. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp.. We were lucky to survive that last round. this is Stephen Stills. 57 SCOTT Yeah.. that’s. now sporting BLUE HAIR. Like you said.. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. SCOTT It’s all blue. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. Kim mimes shooting herself. RAMONA Yes. Young Neil. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. I just dyed it. but don’t worry. Scott opens the door to see Ramona... weirded out by this hair development. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice.
57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A.
uh. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. good.. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. Cool. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Good. Get used to it. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. KIM PINE Believe it or not. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. See you guys tomorrow.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. He’s an idiot. SCOTT She changed her hair. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half.. preparing food as Wallace looks on. 58 Ramona lounges. Scott drops the act. dude. reading a magazine. Starts ushering Ramona out again. I actually dated Scott in high school. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. Ramona goes to the bathroom. SCOTT Okay.. YOUNG NEIL .NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. KIM PINE Yeah.. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. Scott fake laughs.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A. 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue.
what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. A (CONTINUED) . WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. Impulsive. come find me at the Castle. Scott stops Wallace at the door. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. Good. She’s spontaneous.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. Wallace pulls on a jacket. 58 SCOTT I know. Oh my god. Ramona returns. “when”. if you strike out in the next hour. SCOTT Don’t go. with a panicked whisper. picnic style. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. See you in sixty. good. Fickle. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well.
58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Mona. Ramona is taken aback. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. Ra-mona. it goes like this: Ra-mona.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. Ooooh. SCOTT No. RAMONA You'd get fat. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. A (CONTINUED) . Ra-mona. Or just all the time without even stopping. Ra-ra-ra. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. Ra-ra-ra. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. Mona. Ra-mona.
But she stopped liking that name.. T A . I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. NARRATOR It wasn’t. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. SCOTT Not really. No. It was brutal..she stopped liking me. Then. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.... NARRATOR She dumped him. It’s just that I got. But it’s so long ago. It was.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53.. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. sorry. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. she told me it was mutual. I can barely remember it. three hours before his big breakup. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears.. 58 SCOTT Ha. Earl Jones deep. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. I like it long. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago.. RAMONA Your hair is cute. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time..
in which case I do drugs all the time. Things seem a little brighter around you or something.. . A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. long handrail between them.I don't know. but. Let’s find out. unless you do. 59 EXT.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY..you make me feel. F SCOTT Yeah.. every drug. who? SCOTT I forget. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. They’re shooting this movie up here. as if crossing a magical line. I just love me some walking. a castle surrounded by big. bright movie set lights...heightened. I don’t know. ENDLESS STAIRWAY . B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. I just. Putting one leg in front of the other. RAMONA Oh. T A SCOTT Nooo.. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. Not that I do drugs.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY.
CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. RAMONA Ooh. including Wallace. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. He skates towards the set. The spectators go “oooh”. man. T (CONTINUED) A . Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace.INTEGRATED FINAL 55. I am not a slut. FIRST A. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. B A What? Why? Slut. 60 EXT. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown.D. We gotta go. CASA LOMA . F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. Mr. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). RAMONA Oh. doing kickflips.
SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. We had drama.you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade.my.. who gasps.God. . Actually. RAMONA He just followed me around. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott.. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. SCOTT . LUCAS LEE Action. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode. it might have been math. who remains oblivious.. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade. He was a little snot nosed brat... SCOTT Oh..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. I just remember there being lots of drama.. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON..
Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. wobbly. flooring him. How’s life? He seems nice. . SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. WALLACE Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. He nods to Ramona. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. Evil ex. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. crumbling it. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. Fight. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again.
We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. LUCAS LEE He’s good. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. Scott stands to fight the double. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. smirking on the sidelines. Suddenly. SCOTT Hey. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs.. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. Lucas Lee wanders off. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee..) Looks like you’re seeing double. Scott staggers to his feet. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. He slides across the wet-down ground. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. Tae Kwon Doe style. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble.) Mr. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. hey.S.. SCOTT (O.S. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. A . punchy. all identically dressed. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face.
well then don't worry about it. shocked to see Scott.no.. . Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. LUCAS LEE Prepare. SCOTT You’re needed back on set. Let’s get a beer. preparing for the deathblow. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. Lucas offers a hand. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. bro... SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. 60 Lucas turns. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. framed through the torn skyline.. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. Scott goes to shake it. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year... Lucas stomps over to him. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah.
. I have my own skate company. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. WALLACE Hi. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board.. bro. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. a perfect ollie onto the rail.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. if it’s too hardcore. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. impressed at Lucas. ese.. HSSSSSSSSS. very impressed at Lucas.. revealing a skate company tattoo. SCOTT Hey. SCOTT Wow. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. SCOTT So you can sell them. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. Big fan... LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind.. F T A (CONTINUED) . Lucas pulls down his shirt. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard.. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight.
INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . HSSSSSSSSS. Scott smacks his forehead. 60 SCOTT Wow. he totally bailed. WALLACE Wow.. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph.
WALLACE'S APARTMENT . A Scott slumps on the couch. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No.. she totally bailed. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. Call me back. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). you said that last night. 60 FIRST A. Uh. Scott Pilgrim. . RAMONA is not available. phone pressed to his ear..that’s a wrap everybody.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. T SCOTT Hey. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. 212 664-7665. It was right under your nose. please record your message after the beep.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously.D. It’s me. Scott again. 61 INT.
Scott slides to the floor. RINGY RING. I need you to move out. Step up your game. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. guy. you have to fight for it. Look.. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. Either way.S. Break out the L-word. then you have to let her know. You have the spirit of a warrior. WALLACE If you want something bad. it’s “love”. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. Scott picks up. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. completely shocked at this bombshell. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. A SEXY. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . Scott. VOICE (O.) Hey Scott. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow.. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
darlin’. Prepare to die.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. SCOTT Okay.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. T SCOTT Listen. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. She spins to face Scott. He’s pissed now. Hits SOMETHING. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. SHWAA . A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. technically this is not a nightmare. 62 SHFFF . I’ve had it today. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. but I just cashed my last raincheck. . SCOTT Wait. obviously. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No.
the Mystery Attacker vanishes. Someone help me. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF .S. it’s Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. STACEY (O. really not up for this. SCOTT Well. baffled. SCOTT Oh man. then I’ll see you later.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken.S. SCOTT It’s Scott.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. Whatever it is. But you won’t see me. It’s actually me. STACEY (O. dialing Stacey frantically. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. Scott looks to the sky. Scott is in his usual payphone. BLOOR STREET .) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. I’m really.
revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside. mouthing that she has to go. not happy.S. Stacey has her back turned. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter. Stacey turns around. Are you still working? 65. (CONTINUED) .) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. And by the way. I’m coming in. I’m having a meltdown or whatever.) I’m literally about to leave. Scott turns back to Julie.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. SCOTT Cool. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. 63 STACEY (O. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. THE SECOND CUP .
23. SCOTT Yeah.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. RAMONA Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. You kind of disappeared. She looks at the floor.. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. Listen. No. I do that.. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. I know it's early days.. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. "ENVY ADAMS. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. They share an awkward moment. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into.. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. SCOTT No. I want to hang. (CONTINUED) A Exes. No biggie. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott." The icy. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. A .
RAMONA I’m gonna. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. SCOTT Yeah.excuse me. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. You’re so on the list. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. ENVY Okay. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen.. You guys should like.. ENVY Great. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. Ramona goes to order coffee.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. so totally come. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. . I’m jealous. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. I know. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him.
That didn’t end well either. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. That.. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. 65 EXT.that was Nat? . SCOTT I can see how it sucks. This guy Todd. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. Having the past come back to haunt you.. Ramona returns.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. sipping their coffees.. F T RAMONA So.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. How. 65 SCOTT No. that was Envy. About. RAMONA And two weeks later. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend..
INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
66 INT. Mm. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. Scott and Young Neil. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. Tricky... OTHER SCOTT It’s over. B A Word. From this moment on. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. Ramona lounges on the couch. I’m not gonna let her toy with me.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. Ramona stops and kisses him.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. SCOTT Right. SCOTT Double negative. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. 66 Scott stands (no pants). STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Move on. Music swells.
67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. And Envy asked us to open for them. The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . STEPHEN STILLS No.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A.
G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE.. We need groundswell. Is a gig. You know. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. DRUG SMART . We need to get some buzz going. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. SCOTT Yeah. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do.. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. We need stalkers. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. pressed against the window. . KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face.EVENING B A Yeah. 67 SCOTT I hate you.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. for the band? For the band.
this really burns. KNIVES’ BATHROOM .INTEGRATED FINAL 71.I look so. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. This is all her fault.so good. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever... looking sexy. 68A INT. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot.. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool. (CONTINUED) . isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA.EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. eyes narrowing. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl..EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. so he tried to find someone cool but old. Knives throws a long scarf on. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean.
We were Sex Bob-Omb. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. LEE’S PALACE .INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72.NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. as she plots. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. Bar. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . Now.Sold out’. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. 71 71 INT. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. LEE'S PALACE . PUSH into Knives. Ramona excuses herself. But I know how to get him back.CONTINUOUS A 70 . OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. F T 70 INT. She knows we suck. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. Tamara pops into frame. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. LEE’S PALACE .LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. drunk. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back.
KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. 72 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. 17. confused. standing next to Ramona. clothes and makeup. LEE'S PALACE.. "KNIVES CHAU.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. Knives follows. looking hot.. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. Or is it. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. F T . Briefly. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. SCOTT Briefly. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. LADIES BATHROOM . LEE'S PALACE . RAMONA Hey. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher.
her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her.. (CONTINUED) . revealing a stunning figure.. LEE’S PALACE . EVIL-EX #3. Knives screams her teen brains out. Oh yeah.” and “Who. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. He’s alone. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke..MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. striking ROCK GOD figure. I gotta pee. "TODD INGRAM. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes.. Envy lets her coat slip off. You know? Oh yeah. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. LEE’S PALACE. (turns beet red) I mean. MENS BATHROOM . FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. 75 INT.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. 25. A I know. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. no longer shrouded in dry ice. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody.. ENVY in a long black coat.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. Stares at Scott. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. he cuts a handsome. (sing songy) Peee time.. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. Pee time. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . LEE'S PALACE .INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A. Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors. 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT.LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb.
TODD INGRAM Been a while. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. you have to see them live..NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . They’re so much better live. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. YOUNG NEIL Man. Envy.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. Everyone else feels. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. RAMONA Mmm hmm. LEE’S PALACE. RAMONA Hey Todd. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage.. Envy burns a hole through Scott. Oh. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . Just oh my God.“AWKWARD”.
in general? T A . Todd and Julie glare at Knives. JULIE Ramona lived in New York.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76.. it’s not something I can really put into words. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah. ENVY Just saying. you know? You suit each other. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. ENVY I was just there. cute couple. Stephen. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. I like your outfit Ramona. Did you get those jeans in New York. Envy..Envy? I read your blog. You know him. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. ENVY So. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives.. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. KNIVES CHAU Um.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple.. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon.
POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .Knives stands up... 77 Scott looks at Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A. She is about to answer when.
TODD INGRAM That’s right. I’m a rock star. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. Hair. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights.your hair. 77 Envy nods at Todd. Of. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. Todd sits back down like nothing happened. Scott boils. JULIE So....yy. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. Her. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet. choking. Out. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. Her hair is black and plain as before. Todd smirks... Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. Scott hovers. grasping his neck. ENVY You’re incorrigible.my neck. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. SCOTT KK.. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal.. Young Neil escorts Knives out.
. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. SCOTT No kidding. He tries to keep cool.vegan. While the others bicker.anyone can be. despite being in a lot of pain. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. Scott sails out of shot and into space.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. A (CONTINUED) . He moans in pain. SCOTT If I peed my pants. Ramona helps Scott to his feet. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. question.. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. if you knew the science. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe... I always wondered. TODD INGRAM Bingo.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 77 RAMONA It’s not raining.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A.
It’s part of the reason I moved here. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. 77 SCOTT Oh.. RAMONA (V. It was pretty crazy. I guess that’s not very nice. but I used to be kind of. Nobody cared. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. It’s pretty crazy.O.O. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy.O. RAMONA (V. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. RAMONA (V. A (CONTINUED) . so I dumped him.like that. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends..) We hated everyone. We wrecked stuff.O. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff.) A week and a half later. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. RAMONA (V. Nobody cares. RAMONA Look.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. A brief. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs.
T SCOTT A SCOTT I.. Right? ENVY Basically.. Scott CHARGES at Todd. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona .. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice..nice! F Um.cleans up.. call us when you’re done. so.. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.Monday.sort of ready for another round. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday.. And the cleaning lady. She dusts. SCOTT He and me. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club.. SCOTT You used to be so.dust.ready for another round.. B A SCOTT Sorry. I and he! Scott stands up . TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off...dislike you. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds.. We hear a distant CRUMP. Stills calls through the hole.
he’ll be done real soon.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 77 ENVY Oh.
LEE'S PALACE .CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. Pilgrim. amp pegged to 10. He hovers next to him. Scott turns around on his knees. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. floating towards Scott with his bass. savoring the kill. Todd LEVITATES. baby. I know. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. wicked. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. shredding him into oblivion. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. The good one.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. Todd floats toward him. I actually know how to play bass. Your bass hand is badly injured. Crummy way to end things. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. Suddenly. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. Todd calls to a roadie. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. Envy grins at Ramona. ENVY Sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. picking the hell out of his bass. You’re through. 78 INT. fauxhawk rising. 79 (CONTINUED) . Scott crashes into a backstage food table. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. cringing. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. LEE’S PALACE. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. but that's pathetic. 79 ENVY I’m sorry.
TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. 7:30 p. Todd floats to the ground. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. I poured soy in this cup. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. SCOTT Actually. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827.. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. bitch. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. Thanks. takes one of the cups and drinks.m. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. in my mind's eye or whatever. tool.m. on February 1st. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. You know. I'll take the one with soy. A . you knowingly ingested Gelato. no vegan powers.
RAMONA Crummy way to end things. SCOTT Maybe they should. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. in shock. Envy blinks.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83.. Julie pops into shot. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. 79 Envy gasps. F SCOTT Uh. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. So I guess we’re even. disgusted. jaw ajar. (CONTINUED) . Natalie. sorry I guess. Envy stares. Ramona follows. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line.. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. Now let’s get out of here. shooting Envy a look on the way out. I know.
I am so pissed off for you right now. PIZZA PIZZA . ENVY Shut the fuck up.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. 80 INT. And hot. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead.oh. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. That Todd guy was cool too. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. I liked him. KIM PINE Then why would we.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. A (CONTINUED) . on the fringes. I think a third of the band just went “poom”... I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. Stills coughs. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. 79 JULIE For the record. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. It’s an odd mood. WALLACE Envy Adams. Ramona and Scott. Julie.
He shrugs. Scott takes another bite. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge.. WALLACE I mean. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. Oh. Scott limps a bit. B 81 EXT. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. so. Ooh. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. Ramona falls back with him. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do.. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. we can totally go. Yet.NIGHT A Oh. So let’s go. AFTER PARTY . not with fists. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. lagging behind. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives.
. 81 SCOTT No. I’m fine. I’m fine.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. It’s justRAMONA It’s just.
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. Roxy flips out of the hold. F T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious..talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. clearing the busy dance floor.” RAMONA It was just a phase. 23. SCOTT What.. The League hath spoken. 82 ROXY Oh boy. The girls square off.is. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. does she know me. ROXY Back off hasbian..INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you. no one can. B A ROXY Well honey.. If Gideon can’t have you.. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North.she.
this is live? Uh huh. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. RAMONA Believe it. Ramona. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. ROXY Give it a rest. you slag. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. The belt wraps around it. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. She BLOCKS with the hammer. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. This is a League game. It smashes a speaker. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. With blinding speed. F WALLACE Oh yeah. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. leaving a dent in it. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. He’s a creep. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other.
Or possibly feet. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.
preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head.never. .be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS... (CONTINUED) B A Okay.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. Roxy falls. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy.. ROXY Fight your own battles. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. She grins at Ramona. winces. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. still in the splits.. RAMONA Whenever we were making out.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. She staggers. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms.. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. Some sooner than others. He lands HARD on the floor. kicking them apart with the splits. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh.. They’re soft.
a wave of gossip spreading around the room. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. 82 The party starts up again. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott.
Looks hurt.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. The gossip echoes around them. Scott has already downed his second drink.. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. RAMONA I really think we should split. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. Ramona tries to lighten things. RAMONA Sooooo. Ramona follows tentatively. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. SCOTT Only on special occasions. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one.. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. T A (CONTINUED) . She touches her hair.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A. 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
It reads“PATEL.Ramona returns. I thought you might be more understanding. Ramona exits proper. KATAYANAGI TWINS. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. GIDEON. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . RICHTER. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. You. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces.. RAMONA Dirty laundry.” 83 INT.NIGHT B A But then . identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. Here’s your stupid list. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room.. In fact I’m sick of it. LEE. RAMONA (CONT’D) P.S. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. You’re drunk. Scott looks at the list. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. Ramona leaves. A (CONTINUED) . INGRAM.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
She’s totally here. 85 KIM PINE Oh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A.
) They brought the house down. Can we do this? I mean. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. SNOW falls onto the stage. KEN KATAYANAGI.. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. 23. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. (CONTINUED) . is very serious and Japanese.. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. is serious and very Japanese. Scott. Now an open air venue. we can do this. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him.S. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him.. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. She looks happy. leaving a huge hole in the roof. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. They are chatting.. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. Scott turns bleak again.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96.. She is totally there.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear.. 23. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. The crowd cheers. KYLE KATAYANAGI. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd.. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice.. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. Scott and Stills get into battle position.
He struggles to his feet. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. SCOTT Alright. T A (CONTINUED) . This is GIDEON GRAVES. SCOTT Gideon. Scott. They share a nod. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. For once. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. We’re done. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. comes in heavy on the kick drum.. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs.. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. they sound awesome. 37. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. ASSHOLE. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. Kyle looks at Ken. then helps Kim up. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet.
F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. 86 EXT. I have something I need to tell you. different. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. RAMONA Yeah.. The crowd goes bazooky. He can’t find Ramona. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. eyes narrowing.. but she and Gideon are gone. THE NINTH CIRCLE . but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt..NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. hovering next to Scott. Scott follows. SCOTT Getting a life. SCOTT You seem.was epic. Knives watches him go. SCOTT Ramona. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. What are you doing? . different.. SCOTT Ramona. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building.. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. I’m not even stalking you.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show.. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. I have something to- A Knives shrugs.
. really mean it. And I want you to know. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. Listen. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. I don’t care about any of that stuff. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great.
GIDEON GRAVES You know. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind.it's not going to work out. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen.I can’t help myself around him. captioned “PEE”. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. A (CONTINUED) .. I just. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up... GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes.. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. Oh okay. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. T RAMONA It’s Gideon. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. VOICE (O. The Lincoln parks.. Stills is ga-ga. 86 RAMONA Oh..INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. Ramona looks at the floor. Scottie.) That’s the bad news. A driver opens the passenger door. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. Scott glowers. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.S. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. B A Bob-omb. Okay. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs.
INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
There are hand shakes all round. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. buddy. A cough. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. we should really be thanking each other. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. can I just say. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. A . A meek Young Neil slides into view. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. I mean. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. So I guess it all shakes out. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. but if it wasn’t for you. Kim shrugs and signs it too. keep your emotions in check. GIDEON And hey. SCOTT Nuh-uh. Scott. Scott stands alone. before trying to hand it back to Scott. GIDEON Oh and Scott. bass in hand. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. she wouldn’t be back with me. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. if it wasn’t for me.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. you would have never been with Ramona. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future.
..... 87 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 100A. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN . A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car.NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone.... thinking about Ramona. Scott tries desperately to think positive. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
gives Scott a hug. 88 B A STACEY Oh.. 88 INT. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean.. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. Gets a shock. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ..NIGHT Scott enters. F T A STACEY (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. Scott looks at the camera. THE PARK . Night turns to day.S.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. Well that’s not so bad. little brother. staring straight ahead. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. “THONK”. SCOTT Seven. Over PITCH BLACK.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . Scott remains in the exact same position. Flicks the light on. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. Day turns to night. Stacey heads off. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings.S. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. STACEY Time heals all wounds..
That sucks. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. WALLACE Ah. A Right. I get it. But I need my own bed tonight. For sex. T . Wallace hands Scott cocoa.S. 88 WALLACE (O. and I apologize for that. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .) It’s Chris. SCOTT And the year. Scott sits in the chair. wrapped in a blanket.) Sorry.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. VOICE (O. SCOTT (O. Right.) Or someone.S. But you know.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. WALLACE (O.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O.) It’s Chris.S. you know I love you. it’s probably just because he’s better than you. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). 89 INT. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head.S.S.
WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair. Scott nods.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 89 Scott nods.
I just spilled cocoa on my crotch.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call.S. 89 WALLACE Either way.) Hey. SCOTT (O. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. GIDEON'S LAIR . Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. it’s gonna be alright. Scott nods.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. 91 (CONTINUED) . I don’t want any hard feelings. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know.S. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. Scott stares at the phone. INT. pal. SCOTT RINGY RING. I think this fight is over. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. T A Thanks.) Yeah. He calls off. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. SOME GUY It’s for Scott.S. Some guy picks up.
S) Sure you did.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104.S.S. 92 EXT. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. Whatever.) I hope so. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. Scott turns. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. leaning against a warehouse wall. alarmed. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. Click.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. B Password? Scott shrugs. Maybe I’ll see you there. STREETS OF TORONTO . They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. HIPSTER KID Cool. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. SCOTT Mm. Well as you know. Finish him. What do you say? .) What a perfect asshole. amigo. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in.
Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. WAREHOUSE . So far so good. Scott steps into the elevator. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. HIPSTER KID Cool. B A F T A . Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. 93 INT.
COMEAU Yeah..with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. CHAOS THEATRE .CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. now using SWEET BRAND amps..the CHAOS THEATRE. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. 94 INT. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. COMEAU holds court among them. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. looking up at his former bandmates. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. their first album is so much better than their first album. Chuck Taylors. Ramona kneels at his side. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage.. wearing identical outfits.S. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. SCOTT What if I have a beef.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. Don’t give him the satisfaction. They are legion.. skinny jeans. (CONTINUED) . then you’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL on bass. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. STEPHEN STILLS Well. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero.
League.) Scott earned the power of love.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106..buddy. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. Gideon loses his cool. flexes..O. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. Gideon smiles. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. NARRATOR (V. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. Gideon stands up. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because. Ramona looks away from Scott. whatever. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving. Scott gets into a fighting stance.. A new power comes over Scott. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. I’m in love with her. It’s ancient history. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. (CONTINUED) . buddy..
GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. and sell out and stuff. ON BEAT. Gideon raises his sword. Gideon chuckles. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. Scott hits the ground HARD. we are here to make money. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. 18 YEARS OLD.S. Gideon approaches. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. rolling to a stop. both concerned and amazed. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. by the way. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number.. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. He slashes at them to the beat.. She lands awkwardly..Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. Scott looks to Knives. KNIVES CHAU (O. My cane. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. “KNIVES CHAU. Then from above. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. (CONTINUED) . exploding each attacker into COINS.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle..INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. SCOTT Your club sucks. to administer a final blow.
sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. Kung Pao Chicken. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. separating them. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. KUNG FU STYLE. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. He was warned plenty of times. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. T A (CONTINUED) . throwing blocks and punches. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. distracted by his duelling exes. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. I didn’t steal anyone. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon.
He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY. but. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us. Knives. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott.. You can cheat on these ladies all you want. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind. THE DREAM DESERT ... but you can’t.maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.death..Scott's eyes blink open..DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus.S.. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat.. GIDEON (O.. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives... neither amused. With you. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody... TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me.. rubbing his temples. .SAND blows through frame. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott..cheat.. Okay? (beat) I mean.. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. 95 EXT.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie.
INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. fainter than before. Ramona appears out of nowhere. 95 SCOTT Ugh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy.. That’s why I had to leave. T A (CONTINUED) . F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull.. But he ignored me... SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. RAMONA Alright. I really will leave you alone forever now. maybe now would be the time to get into it. it was me who was obsessed. the truth is.. self-consciously touching her hair.. that’s legitimately disappointing.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. RAMONA He’s like that. RAMONA No. Scott. SCOTT That is evil. I mean. He just. Dying probably sucks. SCOTT Well. he literally has a way of getting into my head. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry.. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. and that’s when he started paying attention. Ramona covers the chip. eh? B A SCOTT Well. has a way of getting into my head. I was crazy about him. Seeing as I’m about to die.. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.
Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. The winds blow harder. I really fought for you back there. SCOTT So. DA-DING. 96 INT. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way.so alone. Ramona seeming to fade away. SCOTT .AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment.. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you.. Ramona is gone. as Scott enters. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. RAMONA Uh-huh. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart.. A Ahhhhhh. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. I guess. . F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. Scott slumps to his knees... SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try.. We had a good run. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. He flicks the light on..
hands him the phone. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. There were tests. during which I totally seized the sword.S. Gideon Graves. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. GIDEON GRAVES (O..S. I was living in an ordinary world. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call.. 96 SCOTT . Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. enemies. guy. B A Um.) Scott. when my journey began. I need to ask one final favor of you. But my Mentor. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal.. Chaos Theatre..INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. that’s you. WALLACE (O.) Again? WALLACE (O. I died.S. a call I considered refusing. SCOTT Wallace.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. But before I do that. I don’t want any hard feelings. pal. GIDEON GRAVES (O.S. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. On PITCH BLACK..) F T A (CONTINUED) .S.. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. So I did.) Sure thing. I feel terrible about everything. Sadly. allies.
INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . sorry. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. hardcore. 96 SCOTT Sorry. exposing his junk. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”.
SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me. Young Neil? You have learned well... WAREHOUSE . deadpan as ever. Stephen. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. 96 SCOTT You seen one.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. 98 INT.everything.. SCOTT Don’t worry. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. You guys sound better without me. COMEAU Yeah.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE. the new line-up rocks.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. you shall be known as “Neil”. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. knocking them out.. From this point forward. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. 99 INT.AGAIN. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. Kim shrugs. 97 EXT.. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces.. CHAOS THEATRE . STREETS OF TORONTO . I know what I’m doing.
INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.
He unsheathes his SWORD. backs to each other. They land on opposite sides of the platform. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. A strange new power overcomes Scott. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . exploding each attacker into COINS. the club sucks. My cane. Ramona at his side. LEAPING in the air. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. I have beef.I want to fight you for me. Scott goes straight into fight mode.O. T SCOTT No. Ramona and Scott lock eyes..) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. You’re pretentious. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. different than before. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. let’s do it.. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. Dead. 99 Gideon falls down. Scott calls out. apparently.
Scott turns to Ramona. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. SCOTT No. stunned.S. I hurt you. And I’m sorry. Ramona staggered. The CHIP no longer blinks. taste my steel. Knives steps back. She didn’t mean that. They square off. hands held out. Knives. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. but still grinning. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. All turn to see GIDEON. Ramona rubs the back of her head. She kicks him in the face. RAMONA Never felt better. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. I was a different guy back then.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. I cheated on you. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. Knives pulling KNIVES. Scott jumps between them.. Scott GRABS her wrists. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) .you're not a fat ass. So. bloodied. GIDEON GRAVES (O..
you got a fight alright. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. the three of them ready to rumble. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Knives joins him. 99 SCOTT Oh. Scott steps into a fighting stance.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. GIDEON Ramona. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE.
Gideon spins low. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Knives whips off her scarf. Scott ducks. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. The swords create an “X”. dropping her. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES.his glasses glow. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Ramona KICKS. He grins. Knives and Ramona. They CLASH in the air. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. expecting her to move. Knives attacks and scores a hit. knocking her down. He shakes off the assault and grins. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. Scott leaps in the air. Knives throws her knives. disarms Scott with one move. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. They barely dodge him. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . They fence. Gideon jumps after him. Gideon hits her back. Gideon swings at Scott. She looks doubtful. baby. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Gideon BLOCKS. You’re still my girl. his HEALTH BAR increases. Gideon spins again and swings upward. . takes a hesitant step towards him.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. He cuts big arcs at Scott. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. SCOTT ATTACKS. Gideon BLOCKS.
F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are.. Me? I’m what’s hip. defeated. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. 99 Scott lands hard. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. They Get up and circle Gideon. I’m blowing up right now. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. Not long now. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. I’m what’s happening.. She lands painfully at the bottom. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. One lens of his glasses cracks. Knives and Scott share a look. A pain in my ass. You’re nothing. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. From the floor. sending him spinning. You’re zero. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. she kicks him in the back of the head. (CONTINUED) .
And you got another thing right.. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. Ramona..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. Gideon’s head EXPLODES. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. awake now.. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. They share a smile.. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. RAMONA (O. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. makes her way towards them. 99 SCOTT You’re right. Right now. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) . KIM PINE There goes our deal. You are blowing up. right? Kim points to the falling coins. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. Oh.S.) You two make a good combo. Scott and Knives kiss. The coin rain continues.
The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. Scott and Negascott face off. Evil face.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) .. They chat amiably. THE WAREHOUSE .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118. nothing. Knives and Ramona. Dark clothes. We just shot the shit.S. They look expectantly at the entrance... Both take a step forward..yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. worried for Scott. He’s a super-nice guy. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. The glasses GLIMMER. B Scott strolls out with Negascott.) You can defeat me.. This is something I have to face on my own. We actually have a lot in common. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona.. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw.. Then.. shake hands and part ways.. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. Fringed hair.. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face. SCOTT No.but can you defeat.
INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A. 104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. I should probably disappear.. F T Scott calls after her. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. RAMONA I dunno. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. stops and turns back. you know? I came here to get away. Ramona sees this and smiles. Steps tentatively away from Knives. SCOTT Hey. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. He turns to see her. You do? Scott smiles.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it.. hoping to slip away. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. but the past keeps catching up. SCOTT I think I understand. RAMONA I should tahnk you. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . Snow begins to fall. B A RAMONA It's hard. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. literally taking his guard down. Where are you going? Ramona. though. then realizes Ramona has gone.
And stuff.Nega Scott also sidles into frame. Guitar still in hand.S. She turns to walk off again. RAMONA Well.. SCOTT Yeah. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. T Surprised. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. We hear a 2ND COUGH . Bye and stuff. Scott watches.) Hey. We hear a COUGH .. Before she’s gone. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives. but thenSCOTT (O. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad. Knives doesn’t look back.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. I’m too cool for you anyway. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. Ramona walks on into the night alone.. A (CONTINUED) . F KNIVES You earned it. then hearsKNIVES (O.S.. You’ve been fighting for her all along.) Go get her. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. then lets it drop. She takes his hand briefly.
night magically turning to day.. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off. winter turning to spring.1... Someone seriously should have been filming it. it was a HUGE fight. I mean bananas..) Oh my God.) Oh my God...9. try again? Ramona smiles..8. Scott takes it..... it was apparently awesome. F JULIE (V... snow swirling around it. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier.. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater.5. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside..4.2. CONTINUE? 10..3. Yeah..7. sunrise coming up over Toronto.6.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B. T Over this magical transformation. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. A We see the door with the star on it.. standing right in the middle of the street. Literally.O. A STACEY (V. It was unbelievable. .... Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars..O.
105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 120.
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