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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
MOTHER CHAU. sits next to her mother. She's Chinese. Knives crouches down to pick up her books.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. grumbling. 22 YEARS OLD.. Scott grins heroically. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. 45. Scott winks at Knives. Scott winks at the camera. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. 2 KIM PINE Well. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. .. THE BUS . RATING: AWESOME. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. cute and innocent with clothes to match. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2... SCOTT (O.) Hey. 17.S. books scattering everywhere. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. demanding.
. KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 4 INT.DAY Back in the kitchen.INTEGRATED FINAL 2A. everyone looks at Scott. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN ..
STEPHEN STILLS I mean. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. She geeks. this is Stephen Stills. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. B A Hey. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. SCOTT She’ll geek. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. Scott opens the door a crack. I want her to geek out on us. It is. 4 SCOTT Yes. hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. Let it be soon.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. Scott smiles broadly. Knives. Please be good. man. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . He's the talent. She has the capacity to geek. 5 INT/EXT. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . SCOTT Oh. really.
INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.
STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. drums. that’s Young Neil. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. wow. KNIVES CHAU Wow. I just live here. SCOTT Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. ratty rug. guitar. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi. KNIVES CHAU Hi.Tetris. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives.. ..Zelda.. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor.S. (CONTINUED) .. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. I’m not in the band.DAY Knives enters. 6 INT... who finally gets it.that’s kind of a big question. Lemme get your coat. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb. sticks in her hands.yes. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack... that’s Kim.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. Amps hum to life. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. LAME BRAND amps. Knives waves. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. sorry. YOUNG NEIL Oh. bass.
are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. F (CONTINUED) . 7 EXT.Sex Bob-Omb. Yeaaah.. Amazing. SCOTT B A Yeaaah... do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended.. what? KIM PINE I mean. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. The song ends. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics.wait. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . jaw ajar. Kim. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE. if your life had a face I would punch it. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome. BUS STOP . SCOTT KIM PINE Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5.... feedback lingering. Knives watches.amazing. SCOTT Yeaaah. KNIVES CHAU I can't even.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys. 8 INT. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music.are so.... 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus.
WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Don’t tell too many people.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. I'm dating a 17 year old. one room apartment. ha. you were saying she seems awesome. dark hair. SCOTT So. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. she seems awesome.. ha. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. ha. Kim. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. You're totally my bitch forever. turns to Young Neil.. disloyal. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. . The whole seventeen year old thing. FUTON included. yes. WALLACE Yeah. 24 YEARS OLD. arched eyebrow.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. SCOTT Yeaaaah. SCOTT Neil. ROOMMATE. "WALLACE WELLS.
9 WALLACE Hey. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . you know me.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A.
Who told you? STACEY Wallace. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. Don’t tell my sister. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. WALLACE You know me. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. 19." A STACEY (O. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN.) You know me. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. starts texting. The phone goes. WALLACE (O. peppy barista. SCOTT That’s not true.S. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . YOUNGER SISTER. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. cute. Duh. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7.S. Scott picks up. 9 SCOTT I mean. Knives Chau. Scott sinks into an armchair. you will not be served”.
At all.. SCOTT Well. SCOTT This school has boys too. Scott.. 10 EXT.. 9 SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly.it’s just nice. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . more like..simple. STACEY (CONT’D) So. you know? It's just. STACEY Um. (CONTINUED) . I think she hugged me once. are you legitimately moving on. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. WALLACE I hate you.. We haven’t even held hands. STACEY Oh my God. Uniformed boys and girls pour out.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. F T A SCOTT I don't know. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. the whole deal. you haven’tSCOTT No no no.. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. so I wouldn't call it dating... or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.
Does he wear glasses? . but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. Run. She digs for quarters. SCOTT Hey Knives. side by side..S.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod.. Wallace Wells. counting down: 10. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O. Scott looks at Knives. He’s gay. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. like. Wow. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize.. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move. The game ends. KNIVES CHAU Oh.wow.9..DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. Whispers. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. T A WALLACE Yes. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. KNIVES CHAU Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. You know. 11 INT.. this is my cool gay roommate. THE ARCADE .. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind.. CONTINUE appears. SCOTT Yeah. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION)..8. WALLACE You're too good for him.
do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. THE GOODWILL . 12 EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. you guys are gonna be HUGE. SCOTT Well.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. 13 INT. slices in hand. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. Thank you.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. Julie. Knives. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. F T A A13 INT. Hangers click in time. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. . what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. "PIZZA PIZZA" . but you guys ROCK. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. Bobby. we're already pretty big. 22.
(MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Julie. 13 SCOTT Thank you. (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A.
WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them. you were saying about me? 14 EXT.I've never gone out with someone so talented. 15 EXT. SCOTT Me neither. Scott hugs her. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk... SNOWY TORONTO STREET . so whatever. I heart them so much. I've. SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool.. 11. SCOTT Sorry. KNIVES CHAU .. But that’s just me. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. F KNIVES CHAU I mean.no.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. KNIVES CHAU Oh.
so. . But she's gone. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands.... 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. Her pink hair is funky but cool. KNIVES CHAU Oh.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. Wow... Wind blows.. sitting up in the FUTON. okay. an army jacket.. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.so alone. She is hotter than the desert sun.. rubbing his eyes. SCOTT Here you go. You're just having some idiotic dream... 17 B A SCOTT Oh God.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. Wow. THE DREAM DESERT . MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone.. The light snowfall turns into sand. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus. skirt and goggles. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ... SCOTT Oh God. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure..? . She wears fishnets.SCOTT WAKES UP.Scott wanders alone through a barren land. 16 (CONTINUED) . 17 INT.
17 WALLACE What is it. Wallace rubs his eyes. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that... Scott? A scruffy. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like. WALLACE Speaking of new. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. SCOTT No. SCOTT But there was this girl. WALLACE What is it. Scott opens the bathroom door. It was somebody new. F T A . OTHER VOICE Oh God. Sunlight ignites the room. six in the morning. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house... WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested. Other Scott goes back to sleep. it wasn’t her. 22.
THE LIBRARY .INTEGRATED FINAL 13A.DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 18 INT.
STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. STEPHEN STILLS (O. (CONTINUED) .) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. SCOTT Uh. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. Let’s talk about something else. I’ll be quieter. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION.uh.. head still in the clouds.. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl.my hand slipped. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. Time slows to a crawl.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .. SCOTT It was. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago.CA to the librarian.S. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. He carries a stack of books for Knives. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school....
20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. what are we doing? 20 EXT. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. Scott exits frame. so... I thought you guys split. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. you know. man.. But. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's. 21 INT. 19 SCOTT Sorry. there may be some label guys there. JULIE'S HOUSE . A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . SCOTT . retard.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. F SCOTT Aw. Scott's head is still in the clouds.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. Both have red plastic cups in hand. This is going to suck. KIM PINE We're going to this party. T SCOTT Ugh.. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . Kim Pine. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. YOUNG NEIL Sucks..this sucks. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee..
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. 24. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Scott does not.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18.. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars.. Comes into my work. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. SCOTT Yeah. JULIE She just moved here. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. Got a job with Amazon. . arms crossed. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. Aged 8” and yet.Flowers. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. Stephen Stills is with her. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. Now. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass.
22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE ..INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A.yes. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . But I didn't want Scott to know that.. Stephen.
(MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. Ramona is out of your league. I don't know what it is about that girl. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. He’s totally dating a high schooler. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. SCOTT looks to KIM.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. let’s leave it at that. she justJULIE Scott. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. JULIE Whatever. 22 SCOTT Yeah. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. . JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. We hear the sound of arctic winds. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. me and Kim are all good now. whoa. Scott’s mourning period is officially over.
.. Wallace flops onto the futon.. SCOTT So. WALLACE There he is.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. SCOTT I think she’s. WALLACE You think he’s. F T (CONTINUED) A . WALLACE'S APARTMENT . I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup.. 23 WALLACE You guess right.. WALLACE Girl.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. landing next to Scott. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon.NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. I don't know what it is about that girl. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library.. WALLACE Library. that girl. Wallace storms in.. and hey! There she is. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT.. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams. Okay... 20. From my dream. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. WIDE awake.
RINGY RING! Scott answers.up.. SCOTT Wait. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something. cellphone in hand.. SCOTT What’s that? Break. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. I should send out a mass text about this.fake. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) . 23 WALLACE Mmm..INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever.. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. Bye.. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.high school.. friend. Wallace. Who told you? STACEY Duh. who is out cold.. B A STACEY Well. Wallace drifts off. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on..girlfriend...
SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool. Moments pass. WALLACE Scott.hmm.. This is.THIS IS. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE .... Scott sits at Wallace's computer..S... how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O..this is. SCOTT "Dear Mr.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. Pilgrim.” Scott walks to the front door.!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring..ca....) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright. 23 SCOTT Wallace.Amazon.. My name is Matthew Patel.ca.. ...
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE It's the weekend. 23 SCOTT Maybe. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A.
INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott.DAY A . KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. B 25 INT.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins.. Uh huh. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy.. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. Scott JUMPS to his feet. SONIC BOOM . That’s cute. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door.. He plasters on his best fake smile. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. PIZZA PIZZA . Knives chows down on a slice. 26 EXT. THE GOODWILL . Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. his thoughts elsewhere.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. Scott doesn't eat.. still distracted. 23 DINGY DONG. SCOTT Attack hug. out of sync. SCOTT That's sucky.
26 KNIVES CHAU . SCOTT I tell ya'.INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A.but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek. B A F T A ...
. his timing off. THE ARCADE . Scott plays halfheartedly.. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on. The Rockit.I. 3. And even better? It’s the T..I think...) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb.. alone by the window.. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives. KNIVES CHAU (O. but he messes up.8. Scott tunes his bass.. NegaNinja. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott.S...B. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. 27 INT. side by side.10. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh..9.. I think. Scott takes a deep breath. Game.. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show..1. This is never easy. On. staring out. everybody.. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen. 28 INT. (CONTINUED) . Scott winces.B.2.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. Knives BURSTS into frame. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .. SCOTT Um.. SCOTT I can never get past that guy..squares up against Scott’s avatar. A NEGANINJA .INTEGRATED FINAL 24.
F Oh. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win.) Crash and the Boys.. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come.S. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. Knives can barely contain herself. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) .S. SCOTT Sure. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. man. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom.) Oh my gosh..it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. It’ll be the cool kids too. KNIVES CHAU (O. Great. This guy at work was like "Steve. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. She grabs Scott.
S.S.) Oh my gosh.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O. . I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.) Yeah.S. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one. they suck.
MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door.. that's okay. it's just like. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE.INTEGRATED FINAL 26.... WALLACE'S APARTMENT . no. DINGY DONG. I was thinking about asking you out. BATHROOM .. I dreamt you were delivering me this package. down a row of LOCKERS leading to. Scott runs after her. A (CONTINUED) . 30 INT. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand.... empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. Scott exits the bathroom. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi.. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds..a long. He stares at himself in the mirror. 29 INT. but then I realized how stupid that would be. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie.. SCOTT RAMONA No. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . around a corner.? 30 . You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell.. and you were in my dream. um. entering.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. RAMONA Um. skating past Scott and down the hall.
. I was the other guy. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. RAMONA You know. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. That's how it works... you're like American? RAMONA Why. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. you'll leave. RAMONA Yeah. Not even. That was some total ass. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. Noooooo. right? I've lived here forever. RAMONA You still have to sign. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. She gives him a pen.. You’d be impressed. SCOTT But if I sign for it. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. SCOTT Okay well. I mean.. (CONTINUED) F T A .. SCOTT So.you need to sign for this. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. Scott stands in awe of Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27.
. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. And throws the package straight in the trash.. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done.. 31 SCOTT You are like. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom. RAMONA Well. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. I'm totally waiting on you.if that's cool. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time.. So.. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line. RAMONA I need to find a new route. Oh. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. PARK .my dream girl. . yeah. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes.. SCOTT Sorry. You assumed wrong.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park.you know.
RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs. They sit on some swings in the park. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. RAMONA This is good. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess. F SCOTT Is Gideon. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park.. RAMONA He’s. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here.a friend.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so.. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do..is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT This is good....
RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you.. Chilled as in cold.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. RAMONA Uh. SCOTT Well. . T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. It’s weird. it’s certainly chilled here. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled.. B A Um. RAMONA Yeah. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much.
RAMONA Well.. mostly stupid. SCOTT So this is a 'date'. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. . SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm.. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster... A Tongue... Ramona walks away. you’re probably not that stupid. relax.. Ramona hops off her swing. yeah. SCOTT Yeah. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. RAMONA Dude. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. I believe you.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31... RAMONA Anyway. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. I can barely see you. SCOTT I feel so stupid. 34 SCOTT It’s.. You're too desperate to be gay. no. Wallace is pretty gay. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw.. RAMONA This is ridiculous.. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. Laughing. The snowfall gets heavier. night’s not over yet.
Help me. B A (CONTINUED) F T A ... I. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. I’m blind.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. I can’t see you.. SCOTT A door? I..
green tea..NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. green tea with lemon. After a moment alone. liver disaster. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. vanilla almond. does this help? SCOTT (O.. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. green tea with lemon and honey. Scott ventures upstairs.. 35 INT. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness.) That's. white truffle. What is that? B Ramona exits. Ramona opens the door. constant comment and earl grey. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing. blueberry chamomile... SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness.) AAAH! Sorry.S. He wanders towards a half open door. T A (CONTINUED) . raspberry. He watches as she slips out of her coat. vanilla walnut.S. Pushing it open.very warm.) Here. ginger with honey. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. SCOTT (O. ginseng.S. girl friendly apartment..cold! RAMONA (O. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . I'm just. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime. sleepytime. ginger without honey.
kay. Not right now. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off... Ramona breaks off.what about our tea? SCOTT I can.. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything. RAMONA I changed my mind..maybe we should both get under it. revealing black panties to complement black bra. Pilgrim...were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33. Scott takes his shirt off. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him... They look into each others eyes. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you. F T SCOTT Maybe. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott.. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. A Ohh...not have tea... Scott is in heaven. RAMONA Well.camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session.kay. A (CONTINUED) ....since we're so cold. You can sleep in my bed. They tumble onto the bed and make out. smiling..
come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing..oh. Whatever this is. They exchange a smile.. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. Ramona is gone.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. Ramona skates towards the front gate. we're terrible. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . RAMONA I have to work. B A 37 EXT. Please come. SCOTT Hey. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. RAMONA'S ROOM . It's been like a really long time.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing. I didn't even get any. 35 SCOTT This is cool. RAMONA You're welcome. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. Scott relaxes.. and this is.. Scott walking next to her.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel.that was a joke. .I think I needed this. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. thanks.. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT.. So. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. just this.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A. 37 RAMONA Sure.
INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. He’s chronically enfeebled. Ramona is already skating far. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. STACEY And this is Wallace. RAMONA Hey. Scott Pilgrim. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. THE ROCKIT . his room-mate.. Scott looks back up. 212 664-7665. I’m Stacey. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. He stands with Wallace and Stacey.At The- “THE ROCKIT. hey! It’s tonight.. Scott is so amazed at her presence. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. I did totally come. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. STACEY Excuse my brother. reaching Scott at the bar. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters.. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow..(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. She hands him a note. right back next to Scott. SCOTT Oh.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. his social skills vanish. WALLACE Hey. B A F T 38 INT. girl number. far away. . FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”.
Is this a nightmare? Wake up. STILLS We were just on stage..uh.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. BACKSTAGE . SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. He didn’t even see Knives come in. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. THE ROCKIT. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. wake up. wake up. Scott’sScott goes white. To. The sound guy hated us. 39 INT. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. People love us.. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. wearing makeup and new clothes. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. Scott scurries off. He pushes her away. Wallace stares at Jimmy. Stacey stares at Scott. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. Go.. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. For sound check.. PROMOTER (O. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. Knives looks kinda sexy. SCOTT I. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek.
WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . A41 INT.04 seconds.haven't started playing yet. WALLACE Jimmy.. STAGE . F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. I am so very very sad. TRASHA." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. WALLACE That was a test. I am Crash. BACKSTAGE . You passed. gives Wallace the finger." And it goes a little something like this. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. . STAGE . and it's called "We Hate You. Jimmy. Wallace yells from the balcony. and these are the Boys. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. Please Die. Kim glowers. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy.INTEGRATED FINAL 37. THE ROCKIT. 8 year old girl drummer. TOO? CRASH Yes.. CRASH Thank you. THE ROCKIT. 40 INT. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT.
INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B A F T A . B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.
Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. Stacey turns to Ramona. BACKSTAGE . STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. THE ROCKIT. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre.. STACEY So Knives. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes.um. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT..CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. . STAGE . These guys are good.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. THE ROCKIT. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience". THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's.. THE ROCKIT. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. BALCONY .INTEGRATED FINAL 38. BACKSTAGE . Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. The audience are stunned. He has so many friends. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So.. He's a friend. 41 INT. 43 INT.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band.
Scott nods vigorously.. So give it up for Sex. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. BALCONY . BACKSTAGE .CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. TWO. THE ROCKIT.you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. KNIVES CHAU Well. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. staring at the stage. THE ROCKIT.. She faints in the excitement.yeah. 45 INT. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. ANGLE on Knives. F (CONTINUED) . finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott... barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole. STAGE . they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic..you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. ONE...INTEGRATED FINAL 39.. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. sees Stacey talking to Knives.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony... 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT.
It is I. Matthew Patel. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . Pilgrim. SCOTT Thank you. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona..begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott.. Consider our fight. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40.. Patel LANDS like a cat. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. Pilgrim. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. They land in THE PIT. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. Alright. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott..
INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Patel punches. Scott blocks. Scott blocks. then holds his hand up for a time-out. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Scott evades and counter-attacks. Scott jump-spins away from danger. breathing heavy. They pause. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. We were one hell of a team. Patel evades. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. landing kicks and punches. in the seventh grade. I told him to hit the showers. all the little jocks wanted me. After a week and a half. They exchange furious blows. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. Matthew was the only non-white.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. non-jock boy in school. We only kissed once. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. Scott looks up to Ramona. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. then lands more punches. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. probably in the entire state. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. .
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.
INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. Patel levitates into the air.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. you’re not the brightest. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. Maybe you’ll see. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. dodging a third wave of fireballs. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish.. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. Scott dodges. 47 SCOTT Dude. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest.. wait. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. It hits Patel square in the eyes. T A (CONTINUED) . narrowly dodging the attack. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. Scott hits the ground. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. POOF. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. SCOTT Open your eyes. He flips back onto the stage. Scott rolls across the stage. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks.
They clatter to the stage floor. SCOTT Sweet.O! Scott punches Patel. 48 INT. Coins. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott lands and picks them up. Passes Stacey. He explodes into COINS. THE ROCKIT. BALCONY . 47 K.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A.
PROMOTER Yeah.CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43.so like. clapping wildly from the balcony. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. 50 INT. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents.40? That's not even enough for the bus home... it was great meeting you. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out.. SCOTT Aw man. The Promotor ambles back onstage.. 48 RAMONA Well.. BALCONY . THE ROCKIT.. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. I guess.but he is long gone. Ramona yanks Scott away. $2. THE BUS . A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake.. STAGE . Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. THE ROCKIT.. Ramona takes a breath.. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. Sex Bob-Omb wins. who is being resuscitated by Tamara. Tell your gay friends I said bye. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's.
what you're saying is. SCOTT So. I guess. SCOTT Well. I mean me. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott bursts through the front door.. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. Scott kisses Ramona.. right? I got to second base last night. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then.. yes..MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. The studio audience 'awwww's.. 52 53 OMITTED INT. And someone has a second date tonight. B WALLACE Someone’s happy.maybe first and a half. . a spring in his step. Do you want to make out? Uh. The studio audience applauds.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. someone got to second base last night.. SCOTT Cool. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott.
so you can't be here tonight. F SCOTT But you. WALLACE Okay.. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee.. hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45.... If you have a problem with it.it's HARD. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives. I swear to God... Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon.but. SCOTT You’re a monster.. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. I don't want you gaying up the place. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost.. Today. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine.you're. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. Scott. Scott. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. WALLACE If you don't do it.. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. SCOTT But.You have to break up with Knives. T A .
(MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.
46.. Wallace turns the television way up. bucko. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . I am stalking him later. hey... SCOTT So. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. like.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . Uh. 54 EXT. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. Surprising no one. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. do you want to. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. SCOTT Oh. Hi. Um. B A Ummm.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores.S..S. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. Knives.. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off.. The one after that.is me pulling the trigger. KNIVES CHAU (O.okay. SCOTT You suck. The next click is me hanging up.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass.
KNIVES CHAU Oh..DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. it's okay..and. SCOTT And. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder. I'm in. 55 INT. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town. really.INTEGRATED FINAL 47. B A SCOTT Uh.. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah.. Like.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. hey. KNIVES CHAU No... Chinese food? Yeah. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. pounding inside Scott's head.. Well. T (CONTINUED) A . It's my birthday dinner. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom. just so bad. SONIC BOOM ... SCOTT Like. Why? SCOTT Well I mean.. to meet my parents.I think that's a really bad idea. It’s not my favorite.
. Scott brushes it away. listen. 55 Knives is so smitten.. SCOTT Um.I was thinking we should break up or whatever. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . the word actually appears onscreen.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A.
57 SCOTT Oh.. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. thanks. KIM PINE Scott..EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. a little happier. in shock... 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.. 56 57 INT/EXT.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone. SCOTT Aw. her funky pink hair... KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. Kim and Stills share a look. thinks of something happier. 56 INT.you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . thinking about Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles.um. No. KIM PINE Wait. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. thanks. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. you are the salt of the earth.. I meant scum of the earth. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store.. SCOTT Aw.it's not going to work out. YOUNG NEIL You. Oh. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2. leaving Knives in the aisle. We broke up..
.. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. whether they’re old. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it.. now sporting BLUE HAIR. this is Stephen Stills.. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. new or new-new. weirded out by this hair development. RAMONA Yeah. Young Neil. that’s. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. 57 SCOTT Yeah. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. We were lucky to survive that last round. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah.you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) ... YOUNG NEIL Newnew. but don’t worry. This is sudden death now. I just dyed it. Like you said. Kim. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp. B A Scott ushers her in. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. SCOTT It’s all blue. RAMONA Yes. Kim mimes shooting herself.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. RAMONA Hey everyone. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice.
57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A.
Good.. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. Starts ushering Ramona out again. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . good. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah. KIM PINE Believe it or not. Scott drops the act.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. dude. Scott fake laughs. reading a magazine. YOUNG NEIL . SCOTT Okay. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. Cool. He’s an idiot. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half.. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. Ramona goes to the bathroom.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. 58 Ramona lounges. I actually dated Scott in high school. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil.. See you guys tomorrow.uh. KIM PINE Yeah.. preparing food as Wallace looks on. Get used to it. SCOTT She changed her hair.
58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Fickle. 58 SCOTT I know. Scott stops Wallace at the door. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. picnic style. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. Good. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. come find me at the Castle. Wallace pulls on a jacket. She’s spontaneous. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. Impulsive. with a panicked whisper. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. See you in sixty. good. Oh my god. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. if you strike out in the next hour. “when”. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. SCOTT Don’t go. Ramona returns.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner.
Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. Mona. Or just all the time without even stopping. Ooooh. Ra-mona. A (CONTINUED) . 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. SCOTT No. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. Ra-ra-ra. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. it goes like this: Ra-mona. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. RAMONA You'd get fat.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Ra-mona. Ra-mona. Ramona is taken aback. Ra-ra-ra. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Mona. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished.
. But she stopped liking that name. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. T A . It was brutal.. NARRATOR It wasn’t. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.she stopped liking me. 58 SCOTT Ha..INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. But it’s so long ago. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. I can barely remember it. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. SCOTT Not really. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her.. No.. Then.. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. three hours before his big breakup. Earl Jones deep. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. It’s just that I got. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. NARRATOR She dumped him. sorry. RAMONA Your hair is cute.. I like it long. she told me it was mutual... It was.
Putting one leg in front of the other. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. every drug. I just love me some walking. long handrail between them. bright movie set lights.heightened. unless you do.. ENDLESS STAIRWAY .NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY.I don't know. . They’re shooting this movie up here. I don’t know. T A SCOTT Nooo.. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk.. I just. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs.. a castle surrounded by big. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. RAMONA Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54.. Not that I do drugs. F SCOTT Yeah. Things seem a little brighter around you or something. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. Let’s find out. who? SCOTT I forget. but.. in which case I do drugs all the time. 59 EXT. as if crossing a magical line.you make me feel. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy.
INTEGRATED FINAL 55. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. 60 EXT. CASA LOMA . doing kickflips. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. RAMONA Oh. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. T (CONTINUED) A . I am not a slut. He skates towards the set. RAMONA Ooh.D. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. including Wallace. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. The spectators go “oooh”. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). man. Mr. B A What? Why? Slut. FIRST A. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. We gotta go.
.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott.. SCOTT . 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. Actually. LUCAS LEE Action. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode.God. He was a little snot nosed brat. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. . RAMONA He just followed me around.my.. SCOTT Oh.. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott. it might have been math. We had drama... who remains oblivious. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON.. who gasps. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass..you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade. I just remember there being lots of drama.
flooring him. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. crumbling it. Fight. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. How’s life? He seems nice. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. . WALLACE Scott. He nods to Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. wobbly. Evil ex. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup.
followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs.) Mr. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are.S. Suddenly. Lucas Lee wanders off. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. hey. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57.. smirking on the sidelines. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O.S. Tae Kwon Doe style. all identically dressed. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. LUCAS LEE He’s good. A . You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. Scott staggers to his feet. punchy. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. Scott stands to fight the double. SCOTT (O.. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again.) Looks like you’re seeing double.. He slides across the wet-down ground. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister.. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. SCOTT Hey.
F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . Lucas stomps over to him. bro. Let’s get a beer.. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. shocked to see Scott. Lucas offers a hand. LUCAS LEE Prepare. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. 60 Lucas turns. preparing for the deathblow..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor... Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. SCOTT You’re needed back on set.. framed through the torn skyline. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. Scott goes to shake it. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. . well then don't worry about it.no. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh.. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm.
but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. a perfect ollie onto the rail. SCOTT Wow. bro. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good.. if it’s too hardcore. revealing a skate company tattoo. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. F T A (CONTINUED) .. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Big fan. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL. SCOTT So you can sell them... B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. very impressed at Lucas. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. I have my own skate company.. impressed at Lucas.. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard. ese. Lucas pulls down his shirt. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. WALLACE Hi. HSSSSSSSSS. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching.. SCOTT Hey.
60 SCOTT Wow. WALLACE Wow.. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A.. he totally bailed. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph. HSSSSSSSSS. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott smacks his forehead.
Call me back.D.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. 212 664-7665. RAMONA is not available. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. 61 INT. It was right under your nose. she totally bailed. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . phone pressed to his ear.. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. It’s me. Scott again. Scott Pilgrim. you said that last night. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. A Scott slumps on the couch.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously.. please record your message after the beep.that’s a wrap everybody. T SCOTT Hey. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). . 60 FIRST A. Uh. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously.
guy.. you have to fight for it. Either way. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. completely shocked at this bombshell. Break out the L-word. Scott. Scott slides to the floor. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. RINGY RING. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. I need you to move out. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. VOICE (O. WALLACE If you want something bad. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything.) Hey Scott. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. Step up your game. A SEXY. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. Scott picks up. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. then you have to let her know. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. Look. Scott and Wallace look at the phone.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61..S. it’s “love”. You have the spirit of a warrior. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. obviously. Hits SOMETHING. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. darlin’.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. technically this is not a nightmare. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. but I just cashed my last raincheck. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. SCOTT Wait. T SCOTT Listen. Prepare to die. He’s pissed now. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. 62 SHFFF . . I’ve had it today. SHWAA . SCOTT Okay. She spins to face Scott. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about.
S. SCOTT Oh man. SCOTT Well. Scott looks to the sky. It’s actually me.S.the Mystery Attacker vanishes.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A .) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. baffled. really not up for this. then I’ll see you later. SCOTT It’s Scott. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. STACEY (O. it’s Scott. Scott is in his usual payphone. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. I’m really. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. STACEY (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. But you won’t see me. Whatever it is. dialing Stacey frantically. Someone help me. BLOOR STREET . MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken.
(CONTINUED) . not happy. Scott turns back to Julie. SCOTT Cool.) I’m literally about to leave. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. Are you still working? 65. And by the way.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. mouthing that she has to go. Stacey turns around. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. Stacey has her back turned. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped.S. I’m coming in. 63 STACEY (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. THE SECOND CUP . revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside.
I know it's early days. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. 23. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into.... I want to hang." The icy. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. You kind of disappeared. (CONTINUED) A Exes. They share an awkward moment. SCOTT No. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. No. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. Listen. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which.. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. No biggie. A . I do that. She looks at the floor. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. RAMONA Yeah. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. "ENVY ADAMS.
You guys should like. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. RAMONA I’m gonna. You’re so on the list.excuse me. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. ENVY Okay. I know. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. so totally come.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. I’m jealous. ENVY Great. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. . 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy.. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen.. Ramona goes to order coffee. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah.
. F T RAMONA So. 65 SCOTT No. SCOTT I can see how it sucks. How. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend.. Having the past come back to haunt you. This guy Todd.that was Nat? . That..INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. Ramona returns. That didn’t end well either. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. RAMONA And two weeks later. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. 65 EXT. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So. sipping their coffees. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. that was Envy.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side.. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. About. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET .
INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
66 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . OTHER SCOTT It’s over. Tricky. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over.. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. Ramona lounges on the couch. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) .DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. From this moment on. SCOTT Double negative. Mm. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. Music swells.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. B A Word. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. 66 Scott stands (no pants). Scott and Young Neil. Move on. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. Ramona stops and kisses him. SCOTT Right.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all.
And Envy asked us to open for them. STEPHEN STILLS No.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. DRUG SMART . for the band? For the band. We need to get some buzz going. pressed against the window. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. 67 SCOTT I hate you. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. . We need stalkers. We need groundswell.. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. You know. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. Is a gig.EVENING B A Yeah.
. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. KNIVES’ BATHROOM ..so good.. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl.INTEGRATED FINAL 71. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . 68A INT. eyes narrowing. This is all her fault. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever.. this really burns. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. (CONTINUED) .EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. so he tried to find someone cool but old. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. looking sexy.I look so. Knives throws a long scarf on.
Now. But I know how to get him back. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES.NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. as she plots. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer.Sold out’. Bar. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage.CONTINUOUS A 70 . 71 71 INT. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD .LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. LEE’S PALACE . LEE’S PALACE . Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. Tamara pops into frame. Ramona excuses herself. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. LEE'S PALACE . She knows we suck. drunk. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. PUSH into Knives. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. F T 70 INT. We were Sex Bob-Omb. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me.
confused. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. clothes and makeup. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. 72 INT. standing next to Ramona. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. SCOTT Briefly.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. "KNIVES CHAU. LADIES BATHROOM . Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. 17.. LEE'S PALACE . A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. Knives follows.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. looking hot. RAMONA Hey.. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. LEE'S PALACE. Or is it. F T . She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. Briefly. Scott breaks into a cold sweat.
MENS BATHROOM .. "TODD INGRAM. You know? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. Stares at Scott. (turns beet red) I mean... Pee time. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. He’s alone. I gotta pee. Envy lets her coat slip off. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. Knives screams her teen brains out.. he cuts a handsome. (sing songy) Peee time. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody.” and “Who. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. 25. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her.. ENVY in a long black coat.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. (CONTINUED) . A I know.. no longer shrouded in dry ice.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. EVIL-EX #3. revealing a stunning figure. striking ROCK GOD figure.MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. LEE’S PALACE . LEE’S PALACE. 75 INT.
LEE'S PALACE . 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors.LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb.INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A.
“AWKWARD”. Oh. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. you have to see them live. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. Envy. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . They’re so much better live. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage.. RAMONA Hey Todd. TODD INGRAM Been a while. Envy burns a hole through Scott. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona.. YOUNG NEIL Man. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. Everyone else feels. LEE’S PALACE. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . Just oh my God. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. RAMONA Mmm hmm. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room.
Did you get those jeans in New York. ENVY I was just there. it’s not something I can really put into words.. Envy.Envy? I read your blog. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. Stephen. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. You know him. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah. in general? T A .. ENVY So. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. you know? You suit each other.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. JULIE Ramona lived in New York. ENVY Just saying. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. cute couple. I like your outfit Ramona.. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. KNIVES CHAU Um. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here..
Knives stands up. 77 Scott looks at Ramona. She is about to answer when..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A ..
Hair. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . Her hair is black and plain as before.my neck. ENVY You’re incorrigible..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. Out. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. Scott boils. Of.. grasping his neck. Her.. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. Todd sits back down like nothing happened. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. TODD INGRAM That’s right. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal.. Scott hovers. Todd smirks.your hair.. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan.. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. choking.yy. SCOTT KK. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet. I’m a rock star. Young Neil escorts Knives out. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. 77 Envy nods at Todd. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights.. JULIE So. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram..
. Scott sails out of shot and into space. if you knew the science. A (CONTINUED) . 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall.. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. He moans in pain. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. SCOTT If I peed my pants. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. despite being in a lot of pain. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. I always wondered. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well.vegan. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying.. He tries to keep cool. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. question. While the others bicker.anyone can be. TODD INGRAM Bingo. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78.. SCOTT No kidding. Ramona helps Scott to his feet. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man.
77 RAMONA It’s not raining.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. Nobody cares.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. but I used to be kind of.) A week and a half later. RAMONA Look. RAMONA (V. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. so I dumped him. A (CONTINUED) . How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. 77 SCOTT Oh. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends.O. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. RAMONA (V.. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon.O. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy.O. It’s pretty crazy.O. A brief. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff.like that. It was pretty crazy. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd.) We hated everyone. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. RAMONA (V.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. We wrecked stuff. It’s part of the reason I moved here.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. Nobody cared. RAMONA (V. I guess that’s not very nice.
SCOTT You used to be so. T SCOTT A SCOTT I.dislike you. SCOTT He and me. Scott CHARGES at Todd.sort of ready for another round. She dusts. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. We hear a distant CRUMP.ready for another round...cleans up. B A SCOTT Sorry. Stills calls through the hole.nice! F Um.Monday.dust..... 77 Todd appears behind Ramona .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds. Right? ENVY Basically. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl..... call us when you’re done.. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . I and he! Scott stands up . TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. And the cleaning lady. so. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business..
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. he’ll be done real soon. 77 ENVY Oh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. wicked. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. He hovers next to him. LEE’S PALACE. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. amp pegged to 10. Todd floats toward him. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. fauxhawk rising. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. Todd LEVITATES. baby. Crummy way to end things. Pilgrim. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. 79 (CONTINUED) . Envy grins at Ramona. You’re through. picking the hell out of his bass. 78 INT. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. The good one. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. Your bass hand is badly injured. savoring the kill.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. Todd calls to a roadie. ENVY Sorry. I actually know how to play bass.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. shredding him into oblivion. I know. cringing. floating towards Scott with his bass. Scott turns around on his knees. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. Suddenly. LEE'S PALACE .
but that's pathetic. 79 ENVY I’m sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. Thanks. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. You know. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. A . SCOTT Actually. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. you knowingly ingested Gelato. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a.. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. I poured soy in this cup. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. takes one of the cups and drinks. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. on February 1st. Todd floats to the ground. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book. 7:30 p.m.m.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. in my mind's eye or whatever. tool. bitch. no vegan powers. I'll take the one with soy.
SCOTT Maybe they should. jaw ajar. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. Julie pops into shot. Envy blinks.. F SCOTT Uh. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. shooting Envy a look on the way out. (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. I know. 79 Envy gasps.. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. Natalie. Ramona follows. in shock. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. So I guess we’re even. sorry I guess. disgusted. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. Envy stares. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. Now let’s get out of here. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD.
A (CONTINUED) . 79 JULIE For the record. on the fringes. PIZZA PIZZA . RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. KIM PINE Then why would we. I am so pissed off for you right now.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. I liked him. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. It’s an odd mood. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her.. WALLACE Envy Adams. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. Ramona and Scott. And hot. 80 INT. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties.. Stills coughs. That Todd guy was cool too.oh. Julie. ENVY Shut the fuck up.
RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. So let’s go. AFTER PARTY .. WALLACE I mean. Oh. we can totally go. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there.NIGHT A Oh. Scott limps a bit. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. Ramona falls back with him. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT .INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. Ooh. B 81 EXT.. Hey. so. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. He shrugs. Yet. Scott takes another bite. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. not with fists. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. lagging behind. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing.
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . It’s justRAMONA It’s just. I’m fine. I’m fine... 81 SCOTT No.
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
ROXY Back off hasbian. 23. clearing the busy dance floor. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you.is. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. B A ROXY Well honey.. 82 ROXY Oh boy.. SCOTT What. no one can. If Gideon can’t have you. The League hath spoken.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. The girls square off. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious.” RAMONA It was just a phase..INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89.... Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North. Roxy flips out of the hold.she. does she know me. F T A (CONTINUED) .
leaving a dent in it. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. ROXY Give it a rest. F WALLACE Oh yeah. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. She BLOCKS with the hammer. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. The belt wraps around it. This is a League game. this is live? Uh huh. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. With blinding speed. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. RAMONA Believe it. It smashes a speaker. He’s a creep. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. you slag.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. Ramona. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? .
Or possibly feet. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.
. ROXY Fight your own battles. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. still in the splits. RAMONA Whenever we were making out. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. They’re soft. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head.. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown.be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. She grins at Ramona. Some sooner than others. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl.. winces. Roxy lifts her leg over her head.never. Roxy falls.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends.. .. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. She staggers. He lands HARD on the floor.. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. kicking them apart with the splits.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent.
People text furiously and point fingers at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. a wave of gossip spreading around the room. 82 The party starts up again. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. Ramona tries to lighten things. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. Ramona follows tentatively. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. Looks hurt. T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Sooooo. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. She touches her hair. RAMONA I really think we should split.. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. Scott has already downed his second drink. SCOTT Only on special occasions.. The gossip echoes around them.
Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A.
S. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .” 83 INT. Ramona leaves.Ramona returns. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. RAMONA Dirty laundry. RICHTER. INGRAM. Here’s your stupid list. GIDEON. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. In fact I’m sick of it. It reads“PATEL.. RAMONA (CONT’D) P. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. Ramona exits proper. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen.NIGHT B A But then . LEE. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. A (CONTINUED) . Scott looks at the list. I thought you might be more understanding. KATAYANAGI TWINS. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. You. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes.. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. You’re drunk.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 85 KIM PINE Oh. She’s totally here.
It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. The crowd cheers. She looks happy. She is totally there. SNOW falls onto the stage. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. They are chatting. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. AUDIENCE DUDE (O.. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. Scott and Stills get into battle position.. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. is serious and very Japanese. 23.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb.) They brought the house down.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. (CONTINUED) . Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. Can we do this? I mean. we can do this.. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. 23. Scott.. leaving a huge hole in the roof. Now an open air venue.. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice.. Scott turns bleak again.S. KYLE KATAYANAGI. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right.. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands.. is very serious and Japanese. KEN KATAYANAGI. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care.
We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. SCOTT Gideon. He struggles to his feet. They share a nod. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. ASSHOLE. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. For once. We’re done. Scott. then helps Kim up. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. This is GIDEON GRAVES. T A (CONTINUED) . their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis.. SCOTT Alright. 37. comes in heavy on the kick drum. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. they sound awesome.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. Kyle looks at Ken.. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim.
but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.was epic.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now.. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. RAMONA Yeah. different. SCOTT You seem. SCOTT Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. I have something I need to tell you. What are you doing? .. Knives watches him go. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. hovering next to Scott. eyes narrowing.. I’m not even stalking you. Scott follows. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. 86 EXT. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. but she and Gideon are gone. SCOTT Getting a life. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. The crowd goes bazooky.. THE NINTH CIRCLE . He can’t find Ramona.. SCOTT Ramona. different. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd..
And I want you to know. really mean it. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. Listen. . I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. I don’t care about any of that stuff. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really.
I’m signing you right now for a three album deal.I can’t help myself around him. A (CONTINUED) .) That’s the bad news. Ramona looks at the floor. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes. VOICE (O. captioned “PEE”.S.. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow.. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs. Scott glowers. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. GIDEON GRAVES You know. T RAMONA It’s Gideon. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. The Lincoln parks. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. B A Bob-omb.it's not going to work out. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99... I just. Stills is ga-ga. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. Okay. 86 RAMONA Oh. Scottie. Oh okay.. A driver opens the passenger door. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch..
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.
buddy. A meek Young Neil slides into view. but if it wasn’t for you. So I guess it all shakes out. she wouldn’t be back with me. Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. can I just say. A . GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. keep your emotions in check. GIDEON And hey. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. you would have never been with Ramona. we should really be thanking each other. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. SCOTT Nuh-uh. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. before trying to hand it back to Scott. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. I mean. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. A cough. Scott stands alone. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. bass in hand. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. There are hand shakes all round. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. if it wasn’t for me. Kim shrugs and signs it too. GIDEON Oh and Scott.
. thinking about Ramona. Scott tries desperately to think positive.INTEGRATED FINAL 100A.....NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone... THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN .. A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 87 INT.
Night turns to day. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. Scott looks at the camera. Stacey heads off. 88 B A STACEY Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. gives Scott a hug.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. SCOTT Seven.. Flicks the light on. Well that’s not so bad.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . Scott remains in the exact same position.NIGHT Scott enters. Gets a shock.. STACEY Time heals all wounds. Day turns to night. “THONK”.. staring straight ahead. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . F T A STACEY (O. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. THE PARK . Over PITCH BLACK.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go.S. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. 88 INT.S. little brother.. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole.
WALLACE Ah. But I need my own bed tonight.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O.S.S. That sucks. it’s probably just because he’s better than you.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk.S.) It’s Chris. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 89 INT.) Or someone. T .) Sorry. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. For sex.) It’s Chris. SCOTT (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102.S. you know I love you. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. and I apologize for that. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. WALLACE (O. A Right. Scott sits in the chair.S. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O. 88 WALLACE (O. Right. wrapped in a blanket. But you know. I get it. SCOTT And the year. VOICE (O. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). F SCOTT WALLACE Scott.
89 Scott nods. WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott nods.
S. T A Thanks. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. 89 WALLACE Either way. GIDEON'S LAIR . Some guy picks up. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. I don’t want any hard feelings. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch. Scott nods. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. pal.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy.) Hey. I think this fight is over. He calls off. SCOTT RINGY RING.S.S. it’s gonna be alright. SOME GUY It’s for Scott.) Yeah.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. Scott stares at the phone. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. SCOTT (O. 91 (CONTINUED) . SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. INT.
I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. HIPSTER KID Cool. Maybe I’ll see you there. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. alarmed. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in.S. 92 EXT. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. Well as you know.) I hope so. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. Click. leaning against a warehouse wall.S) Sure you did. What do you say? . I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. Scott turns.S. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. Whatever.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. amigo. Finish him. STREETS OF TORONTO . HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. SCOTT Mm. B Password? Scott shrugs.) What a perfect asshole.
So far so good.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. 93 INT. WAREHOUSE . HIPSTER KID Cool. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. Scott steps into the elevator. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. B A F T A .
All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. Chuck Taylors. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. now using SWEET BRAND amps.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. SCOTT What if I have a beef. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. Ramona kneels at his side. STEPHEN STILLS Well.. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT.S. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. their first album is so much better than their first album.the CHAOS THEATRE.. skinny jeans. COMEAU Yeah. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. CHAOS THEATRE .) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses.. YOUNG NEIL on bass. (CONTINUED) . They are legion. looking up at his former bandmates. COMEAU holds court among them. then you’re doomed. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. wearing identical outfits. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go.. Don’t give him the satisfaction. 94 INT.
It’s ancient history. Gideon stands up. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song.buddy.O. whatever.. A new power comes over Scott.) Scott earned the power of love. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. Scott gets into a fighting stance. (CONTINUED) . Gideon smiles. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest.. flexes. NARRATOR (V. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. Ramona looks away from Scott. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. Gideon loses his cool. buddy. I’m in love with her. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. League. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because...
we are here to make money.. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. My cane. (CONTINUED) . GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. both concerned and amazed. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. She lands awkwardly. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. Gideon chuckles. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. KNIVES CHAU (O. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. Scott hits the ground HARD. Scott looks to Knives. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands..S. Gideon raises his sword. Then from above.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. by the way. and sell out and stuff. SCOTT Your club sucks. 18 YEARS OLD. He slashes at them to the beat..Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. “KNIVES CHAU. exploding each attacker into COINS. rolling to a stop. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. to administer a final blow. ON BEAT. Gideon approaches. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number..
GIDEON lashes out at Scott. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. throwing blocks and punches. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. I didn’t steal anyone. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. He was warned plenty of times. distracted by his duelling exes. Kung Pao Chicken. KUNG FU STYLE. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. T A (CONTINUED) . But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. separating them. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows.
Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us.. rubbing his temples. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white... but....DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus. Okay? (beat) I mean. .. GIDEON (O. I dated you and then I dated Ramona.SAND blows through frame. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.Scott's eyes blink open.death.. THE DREAM DESERT . SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind.. but you can’t....cheat. 95 EXT. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott..) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. You can cheat on these ladies all you want. With you..maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away.S. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat.. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY. Knives. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott. neither amused..
fainter than before. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Ramona appears out of nowhere. 95 SCOTT Ugh.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A.
95 RAMONA I’m sorry. RAMONA Alright.. the truth is. and that’s when he started paying attention. That’s why I had to leave. He just.. he literally has a way of getting into my head. self-consciously touching her hair. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. has a way of getting into my head. I was crazy about him.. RAMONA No. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. eh? B A SCOTT Well. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. RAMONA He’s like that. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.. But he ignored me.. maybe now would be the time to get into it. Ramona covers the chip. Seeing as I’m about to die. SCOTT Well. I mean. Scott. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. T A (CONTINUED) . it was me who was obsessed. I really will leave you alone forever now... that’s legitimately disappointing. SCOTT That is evil. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. Dying probably sucks. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull..
A Ahhhhhh. The winds blow harder. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there... SCOTT So. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD.. Scott slumps to his knees.so alone. Ramona seeming to fade away. Ramona is gone. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. 96 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott. DA-DING. SCOTT . RAMONA Uh-huh... then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. . We had a good run. He flicks the light on. as Scott enters. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT I feel like I learned something. I really fought for you back there. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you... I guess. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead.
during which I totally seized the sword. There were tests. GIDEON GRAVES (O.) Again? WALLACE (O. that’s you. So I did. pal. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto..) F T A (CONTINUED) . I was living in an ordinary world. B A Um.. GIDEON GRAVES (O. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. guy.. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. when my journey began.) Scott. I feel terrible about everything.S. But before I do that.. On PITCH BLACK. I need to ask one final favor of you. I don’t want any hard feelings. Gideon Graves..S. allies. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure.) Sure thing.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. I died.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. a call I considered refusing. WALLACE (O. But my Mentor.S. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O.. Sadly.S. 96 SCOTT . enemies.S. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. hands him the phone. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. SCOTT Wallace. Chaos Theatre.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. exposing his junk. 96 SCOTT Sorry. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. sorry. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. hardcore.
COMEAU Yeah. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. 99 INT. you shall be known as “Neil”. From this point forward.. the new line-up rocks. STREETS OF TORONTO . SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . CHAOS THEATRE .. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. 97 EXT.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113..everything. 98 INT.AGAIN. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott.. Kim shrugs. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. 96 SCOTT You seen one. SCOTT Don’t worry.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. deadpan as ever. Stephen.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE. knocking them out... WAREHOUSE . I know what I’m doing. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. You guys sound better without me. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. Young Neil? You have learned well.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.
A strange new power overcomes Scott..I want to fight you for me.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. exploding each attacker into COINS. Scott goes straight into fight mode. LEAPING in the air. I have beef. let’s do it.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. They land on opposite sides of the platform. You’re pretentious. He unsheathes his SWORD. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick.O. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . the club sucks. T SCOTT No.S. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. different than before.. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other. backs to each other. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. My cane.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. Ramona at his side.
apparently. 99 Gideon falls down.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. Dead. Scott calls out. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
All turn to see GIDEON. I hurt you. Scott turns to Ramona. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend.you're not a fat ass. hands held out. And I’m sorry. I was a different guy back then. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. Knives..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. They square off. GIDEON GRAVES (O. The CHIP no longer blinks. but still grinning. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. I cheated on you. Knives pulling KNIVES. stunned. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. taste my steel. Scott jumps between them. She didn’t mean that. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. She kicks him in the face.. RAMONA Never felt better. Knives steps back. SCOTT No.S. Ramona staggered. bloodied. Ramona rubs the back of her head. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . Scott GRABS her wrists. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. So. SCOTT (CONT'D) And.
Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. Scott steps into a fighting stance. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. Knives joins him. the three of them ready to rumble.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 SCOTT Oh. you got a fight alright. GIDEON Ramona.
SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. Gideon spins low. Gideon BLOCKS. Gideon hits her back. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . takes a hesitant step towards him. She looks doubtful.his glasses glow. They fence. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. knocking her down. He shakes off the assault and grins. They CLASH in the air. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Knives attacks and scores a hit. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Knives and Ramona. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. Scott leaps in the air. dropping her. . sending Gideon sliding across the floor. He grins. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. Gideon swings at Scott. They barely dodge him.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. expecting her to move. his HEALTH BAR increases. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. Ramona KICKS. disarms Scott with one move. He cuts big arcs at Scott. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. baby. Scott ducks. Gideon spins again and swings upward. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. Knives throws her knives. The swords create an “X”. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. You’re still my girl. Knives whips off her scarf. Gideon jumps after him. Gideon BLOCKS. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. SCOTT ATTACKS.
You’re zero. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. She lands painfully at the bottom. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. 99 Scott lands hard. sending him spinning. she kicks him in the back of the head. I’m what’s happening. Knives and Scott share a look. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott.. You’re nothing. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Me? I’m what’s hip. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. Not long now. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. From the floor. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. defeated. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact.. One lens of his glasses cracks. A pain in my ass. (CONTINUED) . They Get up and circle Gideon. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. I’m blowing up right now.
Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) . 99 SCOTT You’re right.S. awake now.. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal.. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. KIM PINE There goes our deal. The coin rain continues. RAMONA (O. right? Kim points to the falling coins. You are blowing up. Oh. makes her way towards them.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. Ramona.. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. Scott and Knives kiss. They share a smile.. Gideon’s head EXPLODES.) You two make a good combo. Right now. And you got another thing right. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.
Scott and Negascott face off. worried for Scott. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . Dark clothes. The glasses GLIMMER. He’s a super-nice guy. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. KNIVES CHAU Your hair.. THE WAREHOUSE . Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face.. Both take a step forward. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. Fringed hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. They chat amiably. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott.. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses... GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. They look expectantly at the entrance.) You can defeat me.. Evil face. We actually have a lot in common.. Knives and Ramona.yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses..S. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. GIDEON’S VOICE (O.. nothing. SCOTT No. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT.. This is something I have to face on my own. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. We just shot the shit. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. shake hands and part ways.but can you defeat. Then.
104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A.
Ramona sees this and smiles. stops and turns back. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. He turns to see her. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. hoping to slip away. Snow begins to fall. SCOTT I think I understand. B A RAMONA It's hard. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. literally taking his guard down. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. you know? I came here to get away. SCOTT Hey. though. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly.. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. Steps tentatively away from Knives. RAMONA I dunno. RAMONA I should tahnk you. then realizes Ramona has gone.. F T Scott calls after her. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . I should probably disappear. Where are you going? Ramona. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. but the past keeps catching up. You do? Scott smiles. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked.
SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. T Surprised. F KNIVES You earned it.) Go get her. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. RAMONA Well. SCOTT Yeah. Bye and stuff.. but thenSCOTT (O. then hearsKNIVES (O.. then lets it drop. Ramona walks on into the night alone. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad..) Hey. She takes his hand briefly. We hear a 2ND COUGH . We hear a COUGH . Before she’s gone. Guitar still in hand.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. Scott watches. A (CONTINUED) . Knives doesn’t look back.S. She turns to walk off again.Nega Scott also sidles into frame. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine.S. I’m too cool for you anyway. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives.. And stuff. You’ve been fighting for her all along. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her.
. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off. it was apparently awesome... RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could. It was unbelievable. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door.. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door.) Oh my God.6. .5.4. it was a HUGE fight.. F JULIE (V. snow swirling around it.... standing right in the middle of the street.. Yeah.. A STACEY (V. T Over this magical transformation.. CONTINUE? 10.2.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B.. Someone seriously should have been filming it.) Oh my God. try again? Ramona smiles. night magically turning to day.. winter turning to spring. sunrise coming up over Toronto.3. A We see the door with the star on it.. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside.9.... Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. Scott takes it..1.7.. I mean bananas. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater..O... She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier. Literally.8.O.
INTEGRATED FINAL 120. 105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .
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