Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley



by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall

WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010

Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.



EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?



INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.


KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?

SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!

YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?

SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?



STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.








1A. 2

SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.






. She's Chinese. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. Scott winks at Knives. demanding. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. Knives crouches down to pick up her books. THE BUS . what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau.. cute and innocent with clothes to match. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. . MOTHER CHAU. SCOTT (O." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. 2 KIM PINE Well.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2.S. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. grumbling.. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. RATING: AWESOME. 22 YEARS OLD. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. Scott winks at the camera.. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. Scott grins heroically. 17. 45. books scattering everywhere. sits next to her mother.) Hey.

KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . everyone looks at Scott.DAY Back in the kitchen..INTEGRATED FINAL 2A.. 4 INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .

He's the talent. hey. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. Scott opens the door a crack. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. Let it be soon. She has the capacity to geek. 4 SCOTT Yes. SCOTT Oh. man.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. SCOTT She’ll geek. 5 INT/EXT. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. It is. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. this is Stephen Stills. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . really. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. Knives. Scott smiles broadly.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . She geeks. I want her to geek out on us. B A Hey. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. Please be good.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.

INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4.. what was your name? KIM PINE (O.that’s kind of a big question. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives.. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good.. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. that’s Kim. Lemme get your coat. guitar. I just live here.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. YOUNG NEIL Oh. KNIVES CHAU Wow.. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi. sticks in her hands. Knives waves.DAY Knives enters. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb.Zelda. SCOTT Knives. who finally gets it. 6 INT. wow. (CONTINUED) . .S. I’m not in the band. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset.yes. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. sorry. Amps hum to life..Tetris. bass. drums.. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . LAME BRAND amps. ratty rug. that’s Young Neil.. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. KNIVES CHAU Hi..

EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys. Knives watches.... SCOTT B A Yeaaah. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM .amazing. KNIVES CHAU I can't even. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics. Kim.wait. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended..Sex Bob-Omb.are so... are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like.. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE. SCOTT Yeaaah. The song ends.. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott. 7 EXT. if your life had a face I would punch it. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. Yeaaah. jaw ajar. BUS STOP .. Amazing. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5. 8 INT. F (CONTINUED) . feedback lingering. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. what? KIM PINE I mean..

SCOTT So. Don’t tell too many people. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. you were saying she seems awesome.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. . I'm dating a 17 year old. WALLACE Yeah. ha. arched eyebrow. SCOTT Yeaaaah. ha. one room apartment. You're totally my bitch forever.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. ROOMMATE. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. The whole seventeen year old thing. Kim. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. turns to Young Neil.. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath.. "WALLACE WELLS. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. disloyal. SCOTT Neil. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. ha. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 24 YEARS OLD. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. dark hair. she seems awesome. FUTON included. yes.


Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. 19.) You know me.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. Duh. cute. Scott sinks into an armchair." A STACEY (O. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. Knives Chau. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. The phone goes. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. SCOTT That’s not true. Don’t tell my sister. starts texting. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. peppy barista. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. YOUNGER SISTER.S. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. WALLACE (O. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. you will not be served”. 9 SCOTT I mean. WALLACE You know me.S. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . Scott picks up.

are you legitimately moving on. you know? It's just. the whole deal.. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. I think she hugged me once.. WALLACE I hate you. F T A SCOTT I don't know. At all..INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . 10 EXT.. SCOTT This school has boys too. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad. 9 SCOTT Yeah. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. more like.. so I wouldn't call it dating. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here.. SCOTT Well.simple. STACEY Oh my God. (CONTINUED) . she's only allowed out when the sun is up. STACEY (CONT’D) So. We haven’t even held hands. Uniformed boys and girls pour out. Scott.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH’s just nice. you haven’tSCOTT No no no. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named... STACEY Um.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A.

WALLACE You're too good for him.. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. side by side. You know. Scott looks at Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. CONTINUE appears. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. Run. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. 11 INT.9. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. She digs for quarters.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. counting down: 10. KNIVES CHAU Oh. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck.8.. SCOTT Yeah. THE ARCADE . KNIVES CHAU Oh.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. Wow. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O... Wallace Wells.. SCOTT Hey I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION). Does he wear glasses? . He’s gay. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close...S.. The game ends. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move. like. T A WALLACE Yes. Whispers. this is my cool gay roommate.

KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. . SCOTT I knew I personally rocked.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. THE GOODWILL . I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . slices in hand. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. SCOTT Well. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. Thank you. 13 INT. but you guys ROCK. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. 12 EXT. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. Knives. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. we're already pretty big. F T A A13 INT. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. 22. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. Julie. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. you guys are gonna be HUGE. "PIZZA PIZZA" . Bobby. Hangers click in time. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy.

13 SCOTT Thank you. (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her. Julie.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

WALLACE'S APARTMENT . you were saying about me? 14 EXT..DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. F KNIVES CHAU I mean. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . SNOWY TORONTO STREET .DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. I heart them so much.I've never gone out with someone so FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them. 11. I've. so whatever. But that’s just me. Scott hugs her.. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. SCOTT Yeah.. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. 15 EXT.. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. SCOTT Me neither. KNIVES CHAU Oh. SCOTT Sorry. KNIVES CHAU .

SCOTT WAKES UP. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. The light snowfall turns into rubbing his eyes. .. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure. okay. She is hotter than the desert sun. 17 INT. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus. Wow..HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. SCOTT Here you go.... Wind blows. She wears fishnets. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. KNIVES CHAU Oh. Wow. You're just having some idiotic dream. But she's gone. SCOTT Oh God. an army jacket.. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands. THE DREAM DESERT .so alone......Scott wanders alone through a barren land. sitting up in the FUTON.. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God. skirt and goggles. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott.? .INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. 16 (CONTINUED) ... Her pink hair is funky but cool. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .

22. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. WALLACE Speaking of new.. SCOTT But there was this girl.. SCOTT No.. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like. it wasn’t her. six in the morning. 17 WALLACE What is it. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. Sunlight ignites the room. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. Scott? A scruffy. F T A . WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. It was somebody new. Other Scott goes back to sleep. Scott opens the bathroom door. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream. Wallace rubs his eyes.. OTHER VOICE Oh God. WALLACE What is it.


..) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. SCOTT Uh.CA to the librarian. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. SCOTT It was.. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. STEPHEN STILLS ( hand slipped. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. He carries a stack of books for Knives.. Time slows to a crawl.. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT..EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl. I’ll be quieter. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. (CONTINUED) . Let’s talk about something else.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. head still in the clouds.uh. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song.

what are we doing? 20 EXT. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. Scott exits frame.. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. F SCOTT Aw. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. 21 INT. you know. SCOTT .. 19 SCOTT Sorry. man... Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street.. I thought you guys split. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. T SCOTT Ugh. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. so. But. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT .NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. there may be some label guys there. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . Scott's head is still in the clouds. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott.this sucks.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. This is going to suck.. Both have red plastic cups in hand. retard. JULIE'S HOUSE . KIM PINE We're going to this party. Kim Pine. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did.


15A. 21

Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?







16. 21

SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?

Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER






Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.

Scott begins to babble.


SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.



17. 22

SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.

Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.

Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?


JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...










SCOTT I dreaming?

INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. 24. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE.

It’s so “Ramona Quimby. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. Scott does not. Stephen Stills is with her. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone.. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. Got a job with Amazon.. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. JULIE She just moved here. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. Comes into my work. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. arms crossed.Flowers. SCOTT Yeah. Aged 8” and yet. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. Now. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. .

.yes. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. But I didn't want Scott to know that. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE . Stephen..

she justJULIE Scott. He’s totally dating a high schooler. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. 22 SCOTT Yeah. We hear the sound of arctic winds. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. let’s leave it at that. whoa. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. . Scott’s mourning period is officially over. Ramona is out of your league. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. I don't know what it is about that girl. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. me and Kim are all good now. SCOTT looks to KIM. JULIE Whatever.

. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. that girl. 23 WALLACE You guess right. landing next to Scott.. SCOTT So. WALLACE You think he’s...can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway.. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. From my dream. WALLACE Girl. SCOTT I think she’s.NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. WALLACE Library. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. and hey! There she is.. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams. 20. WALLACE There he is. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup. WIDE awake... Wallace flops onto the futon.. Okay. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . F T (CONTINUED) A . Wallace storms in. I don't know what it is about that girl. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT..

. B A STACEY Well..high school.fake. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.girlfriend. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. 23 WALLACE Mmm... SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. I should send out a mass text about this. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something.up.. friend.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. SCOTT What’s that? Break. who is out cold. SCOTT Wait.. Wallace.. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) . INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. cellphone in hand. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. RINGY RING! Scott answers.... Wallace drifts off. Bye. Who told you? STACEY Duh. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.

” Scott walks to the front 23 SCOTT Wallace.this is. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days..!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring. My name is Matthew Patel..Amazon.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon. SCOTT "Dear Mr. Moments pass.THIS WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright....S. WALLACE Scott.. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool.. .. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK.. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O.. Pilgrim.. This is..... T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE . Scott sits at Wallace's computer. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah.

23 SCOTT Maybe. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. WALLACE It's the weekend. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

SCOTT That's sucky. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. Knives chows down on a slice. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. Scott doesn't eat. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. SCOTT Attack hug. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. 26 EXT. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23.. THE GOODWILL . still distracted. his thoughts elsewhere. out of sync. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. He plasters on his best fake smile. Uh huh.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy. That’s cute. 23 DINGY DONG. B 25 INT. SONIC BOOM ...DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. Scott JUMPS to his feet.. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door.DAY A . PIZZA PIZZA .

.but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek. SCOTT I tell ya'.INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A. 26 KNIVES CHAU . B A F T A ..

S..8. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up.10. THE ARCADE . Knives BURSTS into frame. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday..squares up against Scott’s avatar. his timing off. 28 INT. staring out. 3. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh. KNIVES CHAU (O..I. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. side by side.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off. Scott plays halfheartedly. On.B.INTEGRATED FINAL 24. Scott tunes his bass. alone by the window.. A NEGANINJA ...I think.. (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives.. Scott winces. 27 INT. but he messes up.. everybody. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show.. Game.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. NegaNinja.1.9... The Rockit. I think.2.. SCOTT Um. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott.B... KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on. And even better? It’s the T. Scott takes a deep breath. This is never easy...

it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. KNIVES CHAU (O. Knives can barely contain herself.) Oh my gosh.S. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win..INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . She grabs Scott. F Oh. Great.. This guy at work was like "Steve. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. man. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. It’ll be the cool kids too.S. SCOTT Sure.) Crash and the Boys. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right.

) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.) Yeah.S. . they suck.S. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.S. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.) Oh my gosh.

Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. Scott runs after her. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT.MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right... The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces. BATHROOM . A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 26. I dreamt you were delivering me this package. entering. no... PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand.. He stares at himself in the mirror.. around a corner. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell..a long. it's just like. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. SCOTT RAMONA No. skating past Scott and down the hall. 29 INT. and you were in my dream. down a row of LOCKERS leading to..EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi.. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. RAMONA Um.? 30 . but then I realized how stupid that would be. DINGY DONG. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . Scott exits the bathroom. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. that's okay.. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. I was thinking about asking you out. 30 INT. um.. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY.

you need to sign for this. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. I was the other guy. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. you're like American? RAMONA Why. RAMONA You know.. That was some total ass.. SCOTT Okay well. you'll leave. SCOTT But if I sign for it. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all... 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. That's how it works. Noooooo. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. (CONTINUED) F T A . Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. RAMONA Yeah. She gives him a pen. RAMONA You still have to sign..there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. SCOTT So. You’d be impressed. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. Not even.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27. I mean.. right? I've lived here forever.

31 SCOTT You are like. yeah. I'm totally waiting on you.if that's dream girl. So. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT.. RAMONA I need to find a new route.. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. RAMONA Well. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line.. You assumed wrong.. Oh. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom. SCOTT Sorry. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. .. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um..NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. And throws the package straight in the know. PARK .INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28.

SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. RAMONA He’s. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park. They sit on some swings in the park.. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me.a he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . F SCOTT Is Gideon. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs.. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do.. RAMONA This is good. SCOTT This is good. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence... RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs.

. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. SCOTT Well. Chilled as in cold. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. it’s certainly chilled here. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. RAMONA Yeah. B A Um. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30.. It’s weird. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. RAMONA Uh. . but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time.

34 SCOTT It’s. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. Wallace is pretty gay. you’re probably not that stupid.. I can barely see you.. Ramona hops off her swing. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. night’s not over yet. Ramona walks away. I believe you.. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. Laughing. SCOTT So this is a 'date'.. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. RAMONA Anyway. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. You're too desperate to be gay. RAMONA Dude. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. mostly stupid. relax.. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. yeah. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. SCOTT I feel so stupid. The snowfall gets heavier.. SCOTT Yeah. A Tongue.... Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. RAMONA Well...INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. . RAMONA This is ridiculous. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually.. no.

I’m blind. SCOTT A door? I..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. I. Help me.. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . I can’t see you...

RAMONA'S APARTMENT . green tea.. ginger with honey. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime.) That's. green tea with lemon. ginseng. Scott ventures upstairs. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness.cold! RAMONA (O. constant comment and earl grey... RAMONA Dude! I'm changing. He watches as she slips out of her coat. vanilla walnut. 35 INT. T A (CONTINUED) .. vanilla almond.S. SCOTT (O. blueberry chamomile. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt.) AAAH! Sorry.S.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. does this help? SCOTT (O. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket. liver disaster. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. sleepytime.. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness. He wanders towards a half open door. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry.. After a moment alone. What is that? B Ramona exits. white truffle.) Here.S.very warm. I'm just. green tea with lemon and honey. ginger without honey. raspberry.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. girl friendly apartment. Ramona opens the door. Pushing it open.

You can sleep in my bed. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off.. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline.. RAMONA I changed my mind. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.. They tumble onto the bed and make out.. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott.maybe we should both get under it. smiling..INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33. A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.kay.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess.not have tea... 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him.. Pilgrim...since we're so cold.. Ramona breaks off. Not right circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. A Ohh.. RAMONA Well.kay.. Scott is in heaven. Scott takes his shirt off.what about our tea? SCOTT I can.. They look into each others eyes. F T SCOTT Maybe. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh... SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you.. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. revealing black panties to complement black bra.

RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah.. we're terrible. Scott relaxes.. RAMONA'S ROOM . Ramona skates towards the front gate. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing.. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. Ramona is gone. SCOTT Hey. Please come. just this. RAMONA I have to work. It's been like a really long time.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. .oh. So. RAMONA You're welcome. 35 SCOTT This is cool. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm... I didn't even get any.that was a joke. Whatever this is. B A 37 EXT. and this is.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. thanks. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him.I think I needed this.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. Scott walking next to her.. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. They exchange a smile.


WALLACE Hey. Scott Pilgrim. THE ROCKIT .INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. STACEY Excuse my brother... I’m Stacey. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. girl number. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. She hands him a note. hey! It’s tonight. right back next to Scott. I did totally come. his social skills vanish. his room-mate. RAMONA Hey. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow.At The- “THE ROCKIT. far away. . STACEY And this is Wallace. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. Scott looks back up. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. Ramona is already skating far. reaching Scott at the bar. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow.. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. B A F T 38 INT.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. He’s chronically enfeebled.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. Scott is so amazed at her presence. 212 664-7665. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy.. SCOTT Oh.

We hear feedback from a mic onstage. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . SCOTT I.. For sound check. Knives looks kinda sexy. Wallace stares at Jimmy. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. He didn’t even see Knives come in. 39 INT. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. He pushes her away. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys.. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters.. People love us.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. PROMOTER (O. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. The sound guy hated us. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. BACKSTAGE .CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. THE ROCKIT. Scott’sScott goes white. wake up. STILLS We were just on stage. Go. To. Scott scurries off. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. Knives and Ramona stare at each other.uh.. wearing makeup and new clothes. wake up. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. Stacey stares at Scott.

WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. Jimmy.INTEGRATED FINAL 37. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. BACKSTAGE . THE ROCKIT.haven't started playing yet. TOO? CRASH Yes. gives Wallace the finger. WALLACE That was a test.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in ." And it goes a little something like this. STAGE . You passed. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY.." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad.04 seconds. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. Kim glowers. and these are the Boys. A41 INT.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. TRASHA. WALLACE Jimmy. 8 year old girl drummer.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. I am so very very sad.. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. I am Crash. . CRASH Thank you. Please Die. THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. Wallace yells from the balcony. and it's called "We Hate You. 40 INT. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. STAGE .

INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B A F T A . B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.

how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So.INTEGRATED FINAL YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. THE ROCKIT.. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. BACKSTAGE . He's a friend. 43 INT.CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. STACEY So Knives.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. STAGE . .. 41 INT. THE ROCKIT.. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience". The audience are stunned. These guys are good. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. BALCONY . (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win.. THE ROCKIT. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. BACKSTAGE . 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. He has so many friends. Stacey turns to Ramona.

ONE. BACKSTAGE .. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. Scott nods vigorously.. So give it up for Sex..CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony.INTEGRATED FINAL 39.. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. THE ROCKIT. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on... finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT. ANGLE on Knives. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT. BALCONY . sees Stacey talking to Knives.. 45 INT. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole. She faints in the excitement... KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE.yeah.CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. TWO. KNIVES CHAU Well. F (CONTINUED) .. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. staring at the ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. STAGE .

SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. It is I. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. Pilgrim.. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent.. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. Consider our fight. SCOTT Thank you... FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. They land in THE PIT. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. Pilgrim.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. Patel LANDS like a cat. Alright. Matthew Patel. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe.

INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Patel punches. Scott blocks. then holds his hand up for a time-out. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. Scott blocks. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. . landing kicks and punches. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. Scott evades and counter-attacks. After a week and a half. breathing heavy. Scott looks up to Ramona. non-jock boy in school. We were one hell of a team. I told him to hit the showers. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. They pause. Patel evades. Scott jump-spins away from danger. They exchange furious blows. all the little jocks wanted me. We only kissed once. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. probably in the entire state.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. Matthew was the only non-white. then lands more punches. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. in the seventh grade. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. so we joined forces and took 'em all out.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.

INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. It hits Patel square in the eyes. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. Patel levitates into the air. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. POOF. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. SCOTT Open your eyes. Scott hits the ground. He flips back onto the stage. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down.. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. narrowly dodging the attack. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. wait. Maybe you’ll see. 47 SCOTT Dude. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings.. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. Scott dodges. Scott rolls across the stage. dodging a third wave of fireballs. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. T A (CONTINUED) . The house drum kit is trashed behind him. you’re not the brightest. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme.

Coins. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . He explodes into COINS. Scott lands and picks them up. They clatter to the stage floor.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. 47 K. 48 INT. Passes Stacey. BALCONY . THE ROCKIT.O! Scott punches Patel.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. SCOTT Sweet.

51 SCOTT Sooooooo... 50 INT. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes.. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. 48 RAMONA Well. I guess. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date.. it was great meeting like. THE ROCKIT.. Ramona yanks Scott away.but he is long gone. THE ROCKIT. SCOTT Aw man.. Tell your gay friends I said bye.. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. The Promotor ambles back onstage. who is being resuscitated by Tamara. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. PROMOTER Yeah. THE BUS . clapping wildly from the balcony.CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . Sex Bob-Omb wins. STAGE .NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. BALCONY . $2.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT..INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43. Ramona takes a breath. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives.40? That's not even enough for the bus home.

a spring in his step. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. yes. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. . Scott kisses Ramona. what you're saying is.. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. SCOTT So. I guess. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. SCOTT Well... And someone has a second date tonight. SCOTT Cool. Scott bursts through the front door... (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh.maybe first and a half. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. Do you want to make out? Uh. 52 53 OMITTED INT.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. right? I got to second base last night. I mean me.. The studio audience applauds. someone got to second base last night. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. The studio audience 'awwww's.

You have to break up with Knives. I swear to God. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation... I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives.. If you have a problem with it.. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee.. so you can't be here tonight. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine. SCOTT But. T A . hey... WALLACE's HARD.. I don't want you gaying up the place. F SCOTT But you. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D)'re. Today.. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. WALLACE If you don't do it. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost..INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45. SCOTT You’re a monster.but. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. Scott. Scott.

(MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A.

A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. B A Ummm.S. SCOTT Oh. Surprising no one. KNIVES CHAU (O.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. I am stalking him me pulling the trigger. SCOTT You suck. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET .. The next click is me hanging up. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard.okay. bucko. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. 46. SCOTT So. Uh. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes.. do you want to. 54 EXT. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. like.. Hi. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. Um. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. The one after that.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . Wallace turns the television way up. hey.S.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass... Knives.

. Chinese food? Yeah.I think that's a really bad idea.... KNIVES CHAU No. KNIVES CHAU Oh. just so bad. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist.INTEGRATED FINAL 47.. It's my birthday dinner. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. SONIC BOOM . Like. SCOTT Like. pounding inside Scott's head. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder.. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. It’s not my favorite. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah. hey. I'm in. B A SCOTT Uh. it's okay.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. T (CONTINUED) A .. SCOTT And. really. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town... to meet my parents. Well. 55 INT.and.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm..

The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop.I was thinking we should break up or whatever. Scott brushes it away.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A.. 55 Knives is so smitten. SCOTT Um. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . listen.. the word actually appears onscreen.

.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. Oh. 56 INT. 57 SCOTT Oh. I meant scum of the earth. YOUNG NEIL You. SCOTT Aw.. thinking about Knives.EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record Scott sits on the bus alone. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT .. her funky pink hair. SCOTT Aw. thanks. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. you are the salt of the earth.. Kim and Stills share a's not going to work out. leaving Knives in the aisle. KIM PINE Wait. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs. No. thanks. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. 56 57 INT/EXT. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. thinks of something happier. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. in shock. We broke up. KIM PINE Scott... a little happier. T ON THE BUS: Scott broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) ..

. Young’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . Scott opens the door to see Ramona. 57 SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT It’s all blue. new or new-new. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. RAMONA Yeah. RAMONA Hey everyone. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp... that’s. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. weirded out by this hair development. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. this is Stephen Stills. Kim. now sporting BLUE HAIR. I just dyed it. whether they’re old. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. RAMONA Yes. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. Like you said. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. B A Scott ushers her in. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair.. This is sudden death now. We were lucky to survive that last round. Kim mimes shooting herself. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG.. but don’t worry.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me..

INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

. KIM PINE Yeah. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. Scott drops the do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. Ramona goes to the bathroom. He’s an idiot. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. SCOTT She changed her hair. 58 Ramona lounges. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So.. Good. preparing food as Wallace looks on. dude.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts..INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. See you guys tomorrow. SCOTT Okay. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . I actually dated Scott in high school. Scott fake laughs. good. Cool. STEPHEN STILLS Uh.uh. Get used to it. reading a magazine. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. Starts ushering Ramona out again. YOUNG NEIL . KIM PINE Believe it or not. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah.. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil.


WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. A (CONTINUED) . Ramona returns. 58 SCOTT I know. Good. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. come find me at the Castle. She’s spontaneous. SCOTT Don’t go. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. if you strike out in the next hour. Wallace pulls on a jacket.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. with a panicked whisper. Oh my god. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. Scott stops Wallace at the door. good. Impulsive. picnic style. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. See you in sixty. “when”. Fickle.

Ra-ra-ra. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. it goes like this: Ra-mona. Ra-mona. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. Ooooh. I could honestly eat it for every meal. SCOTT No. Ra-mona. Or just all the time without even stopping. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. Ra-mona. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA You'd get fat. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. Ra-ra-ra. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. Ramona is taken aback. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. Mona. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. Mona. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar.

Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears. she told me it was mutual.. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since.. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. It’s just that I got. three hours before his big breakup.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53.. Then.. It was brutal.. NARRATOR She dumped him. sorry. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. I can barely remember it. Earl Jones deep. SCOTT Not really. RAMONA Your hair is cute.she stopped liking me. I like it long. T A .. But it’s so long ago. No.. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago.. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. It was. 58 SCOTT Ha.. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. But she stopped liking that name. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. NARRATOR It wasn’t.

Putting one leg in front of the make me feel. ENDLESS STAIRWAY .. in which case I do drugs all the time. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. T A SCOTT Nooo. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs.. I don’t know. 59 EXT. I just love me some walking.. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. long handrail between them.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. I just. Things seem a little brighter around you or something. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. RAMONA Oh. but.heightened. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. . who? SCOTT I forget. They’re shooting this movie up here. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. F SCOTT Yeah. unless you do.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. Let’s find out.. as if crossing a magical line. every drug. Not that I do drugs. bright movie set lights.. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat.I don't know. a castle surrounded by big..

F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. T (CONTINUED) A . B A What? Why? Slut. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. doing kickflips. I am not a slut. CASA LOMA . Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. including Wallace. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. Mr. 60 EXT. We gotta go. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. The spectators go “oooh”.INTEGRATED FINAL 55.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. FIRST A.D. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). RAMONA Ooh. He skates towards the set. man. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. RAMONA Oh.

RAMONA He just followed me around.. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. We had dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade.. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. LUCAS LEE Action. I just remember there being lots of drama. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode.. . SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott.. who gasps. He was a little snot nosed brat. SCOTT ..God.. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott. who remains oblivious. it might have been math. SCOTT Oh.

He nods to Ramona. How’s life? He seems nice. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. flooring him. Evil ex.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. crumbling it. Fight. WALLACE Scott. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. wobbly. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. . B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret.

F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. Scott stands to fight the double. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. SCOTT Hey. smirking on the sidelines.S. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. hey. LUCAS LEE He’s good. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. He slides across the wet-down ground. punchy. all identically dressed.. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. SCOTT (O.) Mr. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O.. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. Scott staggers to his feet..) Looks like you’re seeing double. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie.. A . followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. Tae Kwon Doe style. Suddenly.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. Lucas Lee wanders off. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around.

. bro. preparing for the deathblow.. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. POW! Lucas gets him square in the well then don't worry about it. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. framed through the torn skyline. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. Let’s get a beer. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. 60 Lucas turns... . Lucas offers a hand. LUCAS LEE Prepare. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor.. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. shocked to see Scott. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. SCOTT You’re needed back on set. Scott goes to shake it. Lucas stomps over to him. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen.

a perfect ollie onto the rail.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. ese.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs.. SCOTT Hey. I have my own skate company.. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. very impressed at Lucas. bro. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. HSSSSSSSSS.. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight.. SCOTT So you can sell them.. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. impressed at Lucas. F T A (CONTINUED) .. revealing a skate company tattoo. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL. Big fan. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. SCOTT Wow. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard. Lucas pulls down his shirt. WALLACE Hi. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.. if it’s too hardcore.. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.

WALLACE Wow. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. HSSSSSSSSS. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. he totally bailed. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump.. 60 SCOTT Wow. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs.. Scott smacks his forehead. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph.

she totally bailed. Call me back. 60 FIRST A. Scott again. please record your message after the beep. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. Scott Pilgrim. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. It’s me. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. T SCOTT Hey.. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. It was right under your nose. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS..D. 212 664-7665. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. RAMONA is not available. you said that last night. Uh. phone pressed to his ear. A Scott slumps on the couch. 61 INT. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously.that’s a wrap everybody. .

completely shocked at this bombshell. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . Scott. you have to fight for it.S. Break out the L-word. Scott slides to the floor. Step up your game. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. Look. Either way. You have the spirit of a warrior. then you have to let her know. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. WALLACE If you want something bad. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. guy. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls..) Hey Scott. VOICE (O. I need you to move out. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. Scott and Wallace look at the phone.. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. RINGY RING. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. Scott picks up.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. it’s “love”. A SEXY.


62. 61

SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?

SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?


Uh. No.

ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)


SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.




63. 61

SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.

WALLACE Or does it?

Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.

Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.

Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62

Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62


Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.


KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?


WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?



Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.


63A. 62

WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.






can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. T SCOTT Listen.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. obviously. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. SHWAA . am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. I’ve had it today.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. SCOTT Okay. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. but I just cashed my last raincheck. Prepare to die. . He’s pissed now. technically this is not a nightmare. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. SCOTT Wait. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. She spins to face Scott. 62 SHFFF . darlin’. Hits SOMETHING.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood.

SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. Scott looks to the sky.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. dialing Stacey frantically. then I’ll see you later. STACEY (O.S. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. Scott is in his usual payphone. SCOTT Well.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time.S. STACEY (O. But you won’t see me. really not up for this. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . It’s everyone else that’s crazy. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. SCOTT It’s Scott. I’m really. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. BLOOR STREET . SCOTT Oh man. It’s actually me. it’s Scott.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . baffled. Whatever it is. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken.the Mystery Attacker vanishes. Someone help me.

I’m having a meltdown or whatever. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. I’m coming in.S. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. mouthing that she has to go.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". Stacey has her back turned. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT.) I’m literally about to leave. THE SECOND CUP .CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. And by the way. (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. SCOTT Cool. Stacey turns around. 63 STACEY (O. Are you still working? 65. not happy. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. Scott turns back to Julie. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside.

. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. (CONTINUED) A Exes. She looks at the floor. No. SCOTT Yeah. "ENVY ADAMS. They share an awkward moment. A . Listen. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. I do that. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. I want to hang. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS.. SCOTT No. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66." The icy. RAMONA Yeah. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. No biggie. I know it's early days. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. 23. You kind of disappeared..the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster.. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore.

SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. I’m jealous. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. so totally come. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. I know.. RAMONA I’m gonna. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen.excuse me. You’re so on the list. Ramona goes to order coffee. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. . ENVY Okay. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. You guys should like. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. SCOTT Yeah. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. ENVY Great. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex.. leaving Envy to fix on Scott.

JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah.. SCOTT I can see how it sucks.. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. 65 EXT.that was Nat? . 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. F T RAMONA So. How. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . RAMONA And two weeks later. Having the past come back to haunt you. that was Envy. Ramona returns. About. 65 SCOTT No. sipping their coffees.. This guy Todd. That didn’t end well either.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once.. That. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend.

65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A.

B A Word. Move on. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. From this moment on. Music swells. 66 INT. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all.. Scott and Young Neil. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. SCOTT Right.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. I’m not gonna let her toy with me.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. 66 Scott stands (no pants). JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. SCOTT Double negative. Ramona lounges on the couch. Tricky. Ramona stops and kisses him. Mm. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) .. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . WALLACE'S APARTMENT .INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69.

STEPHEN STILLS No.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. And Envy asked us to open for them. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it.

G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. DRUG SMART .INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. SCOTT Yeah. We need stalkers. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona.. We need groundswell. pressed against the window. for the band? For the band. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. 67 SCOTT I hate you.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE.EVENING B A Yeah.. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. We need to get some buzz going. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. . You know. Is a gig.

I look so. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA. This is all her fault. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. so he tried to find someone cool but old. looking sexy. 68A INT. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. eyes narrowing. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool.. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl..EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. Knives throws a long scarf on. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever.INTEGRATED FINAL 71.. (CONTINUED) . KNIVES’ BEDROOM . KNIVES’ BATHROOM . he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. this really burns. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her good. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean..

Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. But I know how to get him back. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. We were Sex Bob-Omb. 71 71 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. LEE’S PALACE . STEPHEN STILLS Thank you.CONTINUOUS A 70 . TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. F T 70 INT. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. Ramona excuses herself.Sold out’. drunk.NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. as she plots. Bar. She knows we suck. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. Tamara pops into frame. LEE'S PALACE . STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. LEE’S PALACE . PUSH into Knives. Now.

SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. LEE'S PALACE. 17. Scott breaks into a cold sweat.. F T . Knives follows.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. Or is it. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. clothes and makeup. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. 72 INT. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. looking hot. confused.. "KNIVES CHAU. Briefly. SCOTT Briefly. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. RAMONA Hey. LADIES BATHROOM . LEE'S PALACE .MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. standing next to Ramona.

SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd. LEE’S PALACE .INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. (turns beet red) I mean. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. Envy lets her coat slip off. 25. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. Pee time. Stares at Scott. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. 75 INT. he cuts a handsome..” and “Who.. Oh yeah. striking ROCK GOD figure. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. LEE’S PALACE. He’s alone. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. A I know.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. no longer shrouded in dry ice. "TODD INGRAM. Knives screams her teen brains out. You know? Oh yeah. revealing a stunning figure..MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her. ENVY in a long black coat. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. MENS BATHROOM .” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee... (CONTINUED) . EVIL-EX #3.. I gotta pee. (sing songy) Peee time.


INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. RAMONA Mmm hmm. you have to see them live. Just oh my God. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. RAMONA Hey Todd. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. TODD INGRAM Been a while. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage.. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. LEE’S PALACE. Oh. Everyone else feels.“AWKWARD”. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. YOUNG NEIL Man.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. Envy. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. Envy burns a hole through Scott. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . They’re so much better live..

Envy? I read your blog..Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. it’s not something I can really put into words. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah. ENVY Just saying. you know? You suit each other. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. Stephen. ENVY So. ENVY I was just there. You know him. in general? T A . Todd and Julie glare at Knives. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. I like your outfit Ramona. Envy. Did you get those jeans in New York.. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. JULIE Ramona lived in New York. KNIVES CHAU Um. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76.. cute couple.. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now.

.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. She is about to answer when. 77 Scott looks at Ramona.Knives stands up.

Hair.. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. grasping his neck.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77..yy. choking. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. Out. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. 77 Envy nods at Todd. Scott boils. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. SCOTT KK. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. Young Neil escorts Knives out... ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. JULIE So. Of.your hair. neck. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet. I’m a rock star. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK.. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. Her hair is black and plain as before. Todd smirks. Scott hovers. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. Todd sits back down like nothing happened. ENVY You’re incorrigible. TODD INGRAM That’s right....

. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. Ramona helps Scott to his feet.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. SCOTT If I peed my pants. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. A (CONTINUED) ... T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. While the others bicker. question. if you knew the science.anyone can be. I always wondered. He moans in pain. despite being in a lot of pain. Scott sails out of shot and into space. TODD INGRAM Bingo. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. SCOTT No kidding.. He tries to keep cool. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well.vegan. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey.


) We hated everyone.) A week and a half later. Nobody cared. We wrecked stuff.O. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. I guess that’s not very nice. RAMONA (V. A (CONTINUED) . Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. A brief.O. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd. It’s pretty crazy.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. but I used to be kind of.O. so I dumped him. It’s part of the reason I moved here. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. RAMONA (V. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. RAMONA Look.) He punched a hole in the moon for me.O.. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. It was pretty crazy.. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. Nobody cares. 77 SCOTT Oh. RAMONA (V. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. RAMONA (V. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. I was really hoping to put it all behind that.

we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice.cleans up. B A SCOTT Sorry. Right? ENVY Basically. SCOTT You used to be so. SCOTT He and me.. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you.dust.dislike you.. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona . What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. She dusts. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. call us when you’re done. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. T SCOTT A SCOTT I...nice! F Um.. so. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80. And the cleaning lady. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.Monday.... I and he! Scott stands up . Scott CHARGES at Todd.sort of ready for another round. Stills calls through the hole.ready for another round. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds.... We hear a distant CRUMP. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. STEPHEN STILLS Uh.

he’ll be done real soon. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 77 ENVY Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A.

You’re through. ENVY Sorry. LEE’S PALACE. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. Todd LEVITATES. cringing. I know. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. Crummy way to end things. Envy grins at Ramona. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. The good one. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. floating towards Scott with his bass. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. 79 (CONTINUED) . Your bass hand is badly injured. Suddenly. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. wicked. I actually know how to play bass. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. baby. Todd floats toward him. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. LEE'S PALACE . savoring the kill. Scott turns around on his knees. shredding him into oblivion. 78 INT. amp pegged to 10. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. Todd calls to a roadie. Pilgrim. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. fauxhawk rising. He hovers next to him. picking the hell out of his bass. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 79 ENVY I’m sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. but that's pathetic.

bitch. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a.m.m. Thanks. A . TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. tool. 7:30 p. SCOTT Actually. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. in my mind's eye or whatever. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one.. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. no vegan powers. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. I'll take the one with soy. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. Todd floats to the ground. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. takes one of the cups and drinks. on February 1st. I poured soy in this cup. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. you knowingly ingested Gelato. You know. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book.

Ramona follows. Envy blinks. Natalie. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. shooting Envy a look on the way out. disgusted. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. Envy stares. So I guess we’re even. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. Now let’s get out of here. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. 79 Envy gasps. in shock..INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. Julie pops into shot. jaw ajar. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Crummy way to end things. F SCOTT Uh. SCOTT Maybe they should. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. I know.. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. sorry I guess.

INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. I am so pissed off for you right now. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. on the fringes. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. Julie. 80 INT. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. Stills coughs. And hot. KIM PINE Then why would we. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. WALLACE Envy Adams. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. 79 JULIE For the record. ENVY Shut the fuck up. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. Ramona and Scott. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party.. It’s an odd mood.oh. That Todd guy was cool too. PIZZA PIZZA . you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. I liked him.. A (CONTINUED) .

so.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. not with fists. WALLACE I mean. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. we can totally go. Ramona falls back with him. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. He shrugs.NIGHT A Oh. AFTER PARTY .. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. B 81 EXT. Scott limps a bit. Ooh.. lagging behind. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . Hey. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. So let’s go. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. Yet. Oh. Scott takes another bite.

INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A. I’m fine...? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 81 SCOTT No. It’s justRAMONA It’s just. I’m fine.


86. 81

SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?

SCOTT that good?

SCOTT But not...later?

SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82




RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.


RAMONA It’s what I need right now.


RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.


87. 82

RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.

SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.

They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?

We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.

They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.


That’s it?

RAMONA And what about you and Kim?

SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.


SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.



RAMONA And was she cool with that?


88. 82

Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.

SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.

PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?



SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA

SCOTT Why do you keep saying-


RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.


In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.


I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you.. no one can. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER.she. ROXY Back off hasbian.. 82 ROXY Oh boy. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. 23. does she know me.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. The League hath spoken.. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. F T A (CONTINUED) . B A ROXY Well honey.. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant clearing the busy dance floor. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious.” RAMONA It was just a phase. If Gideon can’t have you. SCOTT What. The girls square off. Roxy flips out of the hold.. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North.

(CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. Ramona. RAMONA Believe it. this is live? Uh huh. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. This is a League game. The belt wraps around it.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. She BLOCKS with the hammer. ROXY Give it a rest. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. It smashes a speaker. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. F WALLACE Oh yeah. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. With blinding speed. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. leaving a dent in it. He’s a creep. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. you slag. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Or possibly feet. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott.

GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. RAMONA You don’t have a choice.. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. RAMONA Whenever we were making out. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. still in the splits.. Roxy falls. She grins at Ramona.. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. Some sooner than others.. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. He lands HARD on the able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. kicking them apart with the splits.. .F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. They’re soft.never. She staggers. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl.. winces. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. Roxy lifts her leg over her head.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. ROXY Fight your own battles. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown.

INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. a wave of gossip spreading around the room. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott. 82 The party starts up again. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk..INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. The gossip echoes around them. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. RAMONA Sooooo. SCOTT Only on special occasions. Ramona follows tentatively. T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. She touches her hair. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. Scott has already downed his second drink.. RAMONA I really think we should split. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. Ramona tries to lighten things. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. Looks hurt.

82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A.

GIDEON.S. Scott looks at the list. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. LEE. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. Ramona exits proper. I don’t enjoy all this Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. Here’s your stupid list. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. KATAYANAGI TWINS. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. You’re drunk. It reads“PATEL.. INGRAM. I thought you might be more understanding. RAMONA Dirty laundry. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. In fact I’m sick of it. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .Ramona returns. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. Ramona leaves. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops.” 83 INT. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. RICHTER.. You. RAMONA (CONT’D) P.NIGHT B A But then . A (CONTINUED) .


94. 83

We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.

STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.


EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...


STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84


SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.


SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.



94A. 84

Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.







95. 84

STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?

SCOTT That’s impossible85


Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.

KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.

Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.







STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?


. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. SNOW falls onto the stage. is very serious and Japanese. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. Scott. 23. Scott turns bleak again.but you should talk to her before she’s gone.. leaving a huge hole in the roof. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right. Can we do this? I mean.. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. KEN KATAYANAGI. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. 23. She is totally there. The crowd cheers. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. KYLE KATAYANAGI... Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. is serious and very Japanese. Scott and Stills get into battle position. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd.. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. She looks happy. we can do this. Now an open air venue. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. They are chatting..) They brought the house down.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear.S..

comes in heavy on the kick drum. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. We’re done. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. This is GIDEON GRAVES. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. SCOTT Alright. He struggles to his feet. SCOTT Gideon. ASSHOLE. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. they sound awesome. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”.. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. For once. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. Scott. then helps Kim up. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. T A (CONTINUED) . slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage.. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. They share a nod. 37. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. Kyle looks at Ken.

Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. eyes narrowing. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now... The crowd goes bazooky. RAMONA Yeah. I have something to- A Knives shrugs.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. hovering next to Scott. but she and Gideon are gone. He can’t find Ramona. I’m not even stalking you. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. SCOTT Ramona.was epic. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause... 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. Knives watches him go. What are you doing? . SCOTT Getting a life. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. 86 EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE . I have something I need to tell you. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. different.. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. Scott follows. SCOTT You seem.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. SCOTT Ramona.. different.

I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. Listen.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. I don’t care about any of that stuff. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. And I want you to know. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. really mean it. .

INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up..S.. A (CONTINUED) . A driver opens the passenger door. GIDEON GRAVES You know. Scott glowers. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs. GIDEON GRAVES The good news.. Okay. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my's not going to work out.. 86 RAMONA Oh. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. Stills is ga-ga. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. Oh okay.I can’t help myself around him.. I just. Ramona looks at the floor. Scottie. T RAMONA It’s Gideon.. B A Bob-omb. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. The Lincoln parks. captioned “PEE”. VOICE (O. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.) That’s the bad news.

INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. There are hand shakes all round. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. we should really be thanking each other. A cough. A . GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. I mean. buddy. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. So I guess it all shakes out. SCOTT Nuh-uh. you would have never been with Ramona. A meek Young Neil slides into view. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. GIDEON Oh and Scott. Kim shrugs and signs it too. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. keep your emotions in check. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. Scott stands alone. bass in hand. before trying to hand it back to Scott. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. GIDEON And hey. but if it wasn’t for you. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. she wouldn’t be back with me. Scott. can I just say. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. if it wasn’t for me. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us.

..... 87 INT.. thinking about Ramona. A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona. Scott tries desperately to think positive.. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN . Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car.NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone.INTEGRATED FINAL 100A.

. Night turns to day. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. Gets a shock.S.. 88 B A STACEY Oh. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT.. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends. 88 INT.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. F T A STACEY (O. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. Flicks the light on.NIGHT Scott enters..S. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. Well that’s not so bad. Over PITCH BLACK. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. Scott remains in the exact same position. little brother. Scott looks at the camera. THE PARK . Stacey heads off.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . Day turns to night. SCOTT Seven. STACEY Time heals all wounds.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. staring straight ahead. gives Scott a hug. “THONK”.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O.

) Sorry. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT (O. VOICE (O. A Right.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O. it’s probably just because he’s better than you. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too. But you know. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona.) It’s Chris. 88 WALLACE (O. wrapped in a blanket.S. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head.S. WALLACE (O. T . 89 INT. SCOTT And the year.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102.S. and I apologize for that. I get it.S. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. Right. But I need my own bed tonight.) Or someone. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe).) It’s Chris. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. WALLACE Ah.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. That sucks. Scott sits in the chair.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. you know I love you.S. For sex.

89 Scott nods.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. Scott nods. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair.

so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. 91 (CONTINUED) . SCOTT RINGY RING. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch. I don’t want any hard feelings.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No.) Hey. T A Thanks. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. F GIDEON GRAVES (O.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. it’s gonna be alright. SOME GUY It’s for Scott.S. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Some guy picks up.S. SCOTT (O. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen.S. He calls off. Scott stares at the phone. 89 WALLACE Either way. Scott nods.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103.) Yeah. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. I think this fight is over. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. GIDEON'S LAIR . INT. pal.

HIPSTER KID Cool. Whatever. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. Well as you know.) I hope so. amigo. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. alarmed. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. 92 EXT. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. Finish him. What do you say? . SCOTT (grim) Yeah. leaning against a warehouse wall.S. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. Click. Scott turns. B Password? Scott shrugs. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing.) What a perfect asshole. SCOTT Mm.S. Maybe I’ll see you there.S) Sure you did. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. F SCOTT WALLACE (O.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. STREETS OF TORONTO .

Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. 93 INT. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. Scott steps into the elevator. So far so good.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. WAREHOUSE . HIPSTER KID Cool. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. B A F T A .

GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. Don’t give him the satisfaction. SCOTT What if I have a beef. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go... (CONTINUED) . 94 INT. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID.S. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. wearing identical outfits. COMEAU holds court among them. They are legion. COMEAU Yeah.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. looking up at his former bandmates. Chuck Taylors. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. CHAOS THEATRE .. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. now using SWEET BRAND amps.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. then you’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL on bass.the CHAOS THEATRE.. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. their first album is so much better than their first album. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. Ramona kneels at his side.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. skinny jeans. STEPHEN STILLS Well.

League. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. It’s ancient history. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads.. A new power comes over Scott.) Scott earned the power of love. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. whatever. buddy. Scott gets into a fighting stance. Gideon loses his cool.. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild.O. (CONTINUED) .. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because.buddy.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. flexes. Ramona looks away from Scott. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving.. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. NARRATOR (V. Gideon stands up. Gideon smiles. I’m in love with her.

GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. SCOTT Your club sucks. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands.. by the way. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Gideon raises his sword. “KNIVES CHAU. and sell out and stuff. to administer a final blow. Gideon chuckles. Scott looks to Knives. My cane. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. we are here to make money.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. both concerned and amazed. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. Gideon approaches. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. 18 YEARS OLD. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. (CONTINUED) . He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there.. Then from above. ON BEAT. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. She lands awkwardly.. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. rolling to a stop.. exploding each attacker into COINS. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. He slashes at them to the beat. Scott hits the ground HARD. KNIVES CHAU (O. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT.

distracted by his duelling exes. He was warned plenty of times.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. throwing blocks and punches. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. I didn’t steal anyone. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. separating them. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. Kung Pao Chicken. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. T A (CONTINUED) . KUNG FU STYLE.

You can cheat on these ladies all you want... 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY.. . F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott.maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me. but. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind... 95 EXT.. Okay? (beat) I mean.. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground. Knives... RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat.DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus. but you can’t..S.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie.. neither amused. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us. With you. THE DREAM DESERT . GIDEON (O.cheat.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.death.Scott's eyes blink open. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott... I dated you and then I dated Ramona..SAND blows through frame. rubbing his temples...

INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. Ramona appears out of nowhere. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . fainter than before. 95 SCOTT Ugh.

SCOTT That is evil.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. maybe now would be the time to get into it.. T A (CONTINUED) . He just.. SCOTT Well. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. eh? B A SCOTT Well. that’s legitimately disappointing. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. But he ignored me. self-consciously touching her hair. RAMONA No. RAMONA He’s like that. That’s why I had to leave. the truth is. has a way of getting into my head. Scott. I really will leave you alone forever now. RAMONA Alright. Seeing as I’m about to die. it was me who was obsessed... Dying probably sucks... he literally has a way of getting into my head. and that’s when he started paying attention. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. I mean.. I was crazy about him. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy.. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. Ramona covers the chip. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull.

SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. We had a good run. as Scott enters.. I really fought for you back there. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart.. ... DA-DING. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. SCOTT .. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you.. He flicks the light on. SCOTT I feel like I learned something.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Ramona seeming to fade away. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. Scott slumps to his knees. I guess. A Ahhhhhh. The winds blow harder. 96 INT.. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back alone. SCOTT So. Ramona is gone. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. RAMONA Uh-huh.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

a call I considered refusing. WALLACE (O.) Again? WALLACE (O.. during which I totally seized the sword. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. B A Um. I don’t want any hard feelings.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. 96 SCOTT . I feel terrible about everything. I was living in an ordinary world. I need to ask one final favor of you. There were tests. But before I do that.S.. I died.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. Chaos Theatre. Sadly.. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto..S.S. when my journey began. pal. GIDEON GRAVES (O. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. allies.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112.S.. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. that’s you. guy. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. Gideon Graves.) Scott. So I did. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. GIDEON GRAVES (O. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. On PITCH BLACK. enemies. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. hands him the phone.) Sure thing. SCOTT Wallace..) F T A (CONTINUED) . But my Mentor.S.

INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. hardcore. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. sorry. 96 SCOTT Sorry. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. exposing his junk.

knocking them out. STREETS OF TORONTO . you shall be known as “Neil”. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. Stephen. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. 96 SCOTT You seen one.AGAIN. 97 EXT. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . COMEAU Yeah..CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE. You guys sound better without me. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. CHAOS THEATRE ..DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR..INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall.. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. Kim shrugs. From this point forward. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me. Young Neil? You have learned well.everything. 98 INT.. SCOTT Don’t worry. deadpan as ever. I know what I’m doing. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. the new line-up rocks. 99 INT.. WAREHOUSE .

99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A.

welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. A strange new power overcomes Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. let’s do it. different than before.. the club sucks. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. They land on opposite sides of the platform. backs to each other.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy.I want to fight you for me. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. exploding each attacker into COINS. He unsheathes his SWORD. You’re pretentious. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.. T SCOTT No. Scott goes straight into fight mode. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT.O. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. My cane. Ramona at his side. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . I have beef. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. LEAPING in the air.

99 Gideon falls down.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott calls out. apparently. Dead.

S. So. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. I hurt you. Ramona staggered. RAMONA Never felt better. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. They square off. And I’m sorry.. but still grinning. SCOTT (CONT'D) And.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. I was a different guy back then. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. Ramona rubs the back of her head. stunned. Scott GRABS her're not a fat ass. The CHIP no longer blinks. Scott jumps between them. bloodied. All turn to see GIDEON. hands held out. She kicks him in the face. taste my steel. Knives steps back. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. I cheated on you. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. She didn’t mean that. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. Knives. Scott turns to Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. GIDEON GRAVES (O. Knives pulling KNIVES. SCOTT No..

the three of them ready to rumble. you got a fight alright. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. Scott steps into a fighting stance. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 SCOTT Oh. GIDEON Ramona. Knives joins him.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE.

Gideon swings at Scott. She looks doubtful. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Gideon hits her back. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. The swords create an “X”. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. He grins. Gideon jumps after him. his HEALTH BAR increases. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. Knives throws her knives.his glasses glow. Knives attacks and scores a hit. Gideon BLOCKS. knocking her down. Knives whips off her scarf. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. expecting her to move. baby. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. takes a hesitant step towards him. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Gideon spins again and swings upward. Ramona KICKS. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. Gideon BLOCKS. He shakes off the assault and grins. dropping her. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Gideon spins low. Scott ducks. They fence. You’re still my girl. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. They CLASH in the air. disarms Scott with one move. Scott leaps in the air. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. . Scott’s sword SHATTERS. He cuts big arcs at Scott. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. They barely dodge him. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Knives and Ramona. SCOTT ATTACKS.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them.

You’re nothing. she kicks him in the back of the head. You’re zero. Not long now. One lens of his glasses cracks. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. She lands painfully at the bottom. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. defeated. Me? I’m what’s hip. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. (CONTINUED) . Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. They Get up and circle Gideon. 99 Scott lands hard. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. A pain in my ass.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. I’m blowing up right now. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. Knives and Scott share a look. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. sending him spinning.. I’m what’s happening. From the floor. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs.. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees.

YOUNG NEIL Whoa. makes her way towards them.) You two make a good combo. right? Kim points to the falling coins. And you got another thing right. Scott and Knives kiss. 99 SCOTT You’re right. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. Right now. RAMONA (O. KIM PINE There goes our deal. awake now.. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah... STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. They share a smile. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) . Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins.S. Ramona. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. You are blowing up.. Gideon’s head EXPLODES.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. The coin rain continues. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. Oh.

Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. Knives and Ramona. They look expectantly at the entrance.. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. Evil face. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. We just shot the shit. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. We actually have a lot in common.S.. He’s a super-nice guy... SCOTT No. Then. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT... nothing.) You can defeat me. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. Dark clothes. This is something I have to face on my own. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott.yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . Both take a step forward. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. THE WAREHOUSE . spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face.but can you defeat. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. worried for Scott.. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. The glasses GLIMMER. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance... They chat amiably. Fringed hair. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. Scott and Negascott face off.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118.. shake hands and part ways.


SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. RAMONA I dunno. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. SCOTT I think I understand. Snow begins to fall. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. hoping to slip away. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . I should probably disappear. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness..INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. though. Ramona sees this and smiles. you know? I came here to get away. RAMONA I should tahnk you. F T Scott calls after her. Where are you going? Ramona. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. Steps tentatively away from Knives. B A RAMONA It's hard. You do? Scott smiles. stops and turns back. then realizes Ramona has gone. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. He turns to see her. literally taking his guard down. but the past keeps catching up.. SCOTT Hey.

T Surprised. And stuff. She takes his hand briefly. She turns to walk off again. Scott watches. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. Ramona walks on into the night alone.) Go get her. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad. A (CONTINUED) . You’ve been fighting for her all along.) Hey. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. but thenSCOTT (O. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. Knives doesn’t look back. then hearsKNIVES (O. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. Before she’s gone..S. Bye and stuff. I’m too cool for you anyway. We hear a COUGH . F KNIVES You earned it. then lets it drop. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives.S.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her... We hear a 2ND COUGH .Nega Scott also sidles into frame.. RAMONA Well.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. SCOTT Yeah. Guitar still in hand.

..7. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door. Someone seriously should have been filming it. try again? Ramona smiles. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves. F JULIE (V.O. CONTINUE? 10..6. sunrise coming up over Toronto... It was unbelievable. I mean bananas... Yeah. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off.) Oh my God. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater.O.. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside.) Oh my God.5.. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door... it was a HUGE fight..2.. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could....9..3. it was apparently awesome.. A We see the door with the star on it.8.1. winter turning to spring.. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. Literally. A STACEY (V.4.. standing right in the middle of the street.. Scott takes it. . She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier. snow swirling around it. night magically turning to day.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B.. T Over this magical transformation.


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