SCOTT PILGRIM VS.

THE WORLD

Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley

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by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall

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WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010

Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.

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EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?

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INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.

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KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?

SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!

YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?

SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?

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STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.

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Really?

STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?

(CONTINUED)

INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:

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SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.

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. 17.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2.. She's Chinese. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. 22 YEARS OLD. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. sits next to her mother. books scattering everywhere. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. RATING: AWESOME.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. Knives crouches down to pick up her books. THE BUS .. Scott winks at the camera. Scott winks at Knives.S. 45. demanding. . Scott grins heroically. 2 KIM PINE Well. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. cute and innocent with clothes to match.. grumbling. MOTHER CHAU.) Hey. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. SCOTT (O." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU.

. 4 INT.DAY Back in the kitchen. everyone looks at Scott..INTEGRATED FINAL 2A. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN . KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. Knives. SCOTT Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. I want her to geek out on us. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . She geeks. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. Scott opens the door a crack. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. 4 SCOTT Yes. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. B A Hey. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. man. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. Scott smiles broadly. It is. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. SCOTT She’ll geek. hey. She has the capacity to geek. really. this is Stephen Stills. Please be good. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . 5 INT/EXT. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. He's the talent. Let it be soon. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.

REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. bass. Lemme get your coat. YOUNG NEIL Oh. that’s Kim. SCOTT Knives. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives.yes.. 6 INT. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh..DAY Knives enters.Zelda. KNIVES CHAU Wow. drums. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack... ratty rug. what was your name? KIM PINE (O.. that’s Young Neil. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. Amps hum to life. sorry. Knives waves. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi. sticks in her hands.that’s kind of a big question.Tetris.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . I’m not in the band.S. I just live here. (CONTINUED) . guitar. .. KNIVES CHAU Hi. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. who finally gets it.. wow. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb..INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. LAME BRAND amps.

Knives watches. SCOTT B A Yeaaah.. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus...EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys.. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. Yeaaah. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott.are so.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5.. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE. feedback lingering. what? KIM PINE I mean. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM ... 8 INT.. Amazing. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended.Sex Bob-Omb. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics..EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. if your life had a face I would punch it. KNIVES CHAU I can't even..wait. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. BUS STOP . Kim. SCOTT Yeaaah.amazing. 7 EXT. F (CONTINUED) . YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome. jaw ajar. The song ends.

KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. Kim. Don’t tell too many people. You're totally my bitch forever. SCOTT So. . WALLACE'S APARTMENT . dark hair. 24 YEARS OLD.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. "WALLACE WELLS. I'm dating a 17 year old. ha. arched eyebrow. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. The whole seventeen year old thing. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. you were saying she seems awesome. one room apartment. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt.. she seems awesome. ha.. ha. yes. turns to Young Neil. FUTON included. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. disloyal. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. SCOTT Yeaaaah. SCOTT Neil. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. WALLACE Yeah. ROOMMATE.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A. you know me. 9 WALLACE Hey.

S. YOUNGER SISTER.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. WALLACE You know me. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. Scott picks up. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. 9 SCOTT I mean. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. Scott sinks into an armchair. SCOTT That’s not true. WALLACE (O. cute. Don’t tell my sister.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. Knives Chau. you will not be served”. The phone goes." A STACEY (O. starts texting.) You know me. Duh. 19. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off.S. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. peppy barista. Who told you? STACEY Wallace.

simple.. I think she hugged me once. you know? It's just.. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. you haven’tSCOTT No no no. F T A SCOTT I don't know. so I wouldn't call it dating.. more like. the whole deal. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. At all. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. 10 EXT.. STACEY (CONT’D) So.. she's only allowed out when the sun is up.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. Uniformed boys and girls pour out. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . STACEY Oh my God.it’s just nice. We haven’t even held hands. (CONTINUED) . 9 SCOTT Yeah. WALLACE I hate you.. Scott.. SCOTT Well. STACEY Um. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. are you legitimately moving on.. SCOTT This school has boys too.

INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.

scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move. Wow.9. You know..DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison.. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O. this is my cool gay roommate. counting down: 10. 11 INT..INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. He’s gay. like. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. T A WALLACE Yes. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION). She digs for quarters. SCOTT Yeah.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. KNIVES CHAU Oh. side by side.. KNIVES CHAU Oh.8. WALLACE You're too good for him. Wallace Wells. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize.. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. The game ends. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. CONTINUE appears.. Whispers. Does he wear glasses? .S. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck.wow. Run. Scott looks at Knives.. THE ARCADE .. SCOTT Hey Knives.

But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. Julie.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. we're already pretty big. 12 EXT. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. Knives. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. 13 INT. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. SCOTT Well. slices in hand. F T A A13 INT. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. you guys are gonna be HUGE.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. Thank you. "PIZZA PIZZA" . THE GOODWILL . Hangers click in time. 22. . Bobby. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. but you guys ROCK.

INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. Julie. 13 SCOTT Thank you. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.

DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool.. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . 11. you were saying about me? 14 EXT. so whatever. SCOTT Me neither. KNIVES CHAU . But that’s just me. 15 EXT..DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment.. F KNIVES CHAU I mean. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack.. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them.I've never gone out with someone so talented. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. SCOTT Sorry. I've. KNIVES CHAU Oh. Scott hugs her. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . I heart them so much.no.

. an army jacket.. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. Wow. KNIVES CHAU Oh. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. The light snowfall turns into sand. SCOTT Oh God.. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands. SCOTT Here you go. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. .so. She is hotter than the desert sun. sitting up in the FUTON.. Wow.. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God.. okay. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . rubbing his eyes.so alone.. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus.? ..HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house.... Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott. You're just having some idiotic dream. 17 INT. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure.. But she's gone.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. Wind blows. Her pink hair is funky but cool. skirt and goggles. She wears fishnets..Scott wanders alone through a barren land.. THE DREAM DESERT .SCOTT WAKES UP. 16 (CONTINUED) .

SCOTT No. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. WALLACE What is it. It was somebody new. 22.. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like.. 17 WALLACE What is it. F T A . OTHER VOICE Oh God. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested.. WALLACE Speaking of new. it wasn’t her. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. Scott opens the bathroom door. Other Scott goes back to sleep. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. Sunlight ignites the room. Wallace rubs his eyes.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream.. six in the morning. SCOTT But there was this girl. Scott? A scruffy.

THE LIBRARY . 18 INT.DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 13A.

STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. head still in the clouds. (CONTINUED) . 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library.my hand slipped.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room.. SCOTT It was. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION. SCOTT Uh. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT.CA to the librarian... Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention.S. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. I’ll be quieter. STEPHEN STILLS (O.. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago.. Let’s talk about something else.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. He carries a stack of books for Knives. Time slows to a crawl.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl.uh. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song.

Scott's head is still in the clouds.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan.. Both have red plastic cups in hand.. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. SCOTT .. 21 INT. what are we doing? 20 EXT. Kim Pine. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . Scott exits frame. This is going to suck.this sucks.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. there may be some label guys there. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. I thought you guys split.. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. But. retard. you know.. KIM PINE We're going to this party. JULIE'S HOUSE . Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's. man. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . so. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. F SCOTT Aw. T SCOTT Ugh. 19 SCOTT Sorry..

INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:

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Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?

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INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)

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SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?

Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

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RAMONA

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Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.

Scott begins to babble.

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SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.

(CONTINUED)

INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:

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SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.

Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.

Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?

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JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
(CONTINUED)

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WHO!? WHUH?

SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL

STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL

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SCOTT

YOUNG NEIL

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"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."

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SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?

TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. 22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE. 24.

Stephen Stills is with her. arms crossed. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. SANDRA Some guy back in New York.. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. Now. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18.Flowers. Scott does not. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. Comes into my work. . Got a job with Amazon. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. SCOTT Yeah. JULIE She just moved here. Aged 8” and yet..

22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE ..INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . But I didn't want Scott to know that.yes.. Stephen.

A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. SCOTT looks to KIM. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. whoa. let’s leave it at that. she justJULIE Scott. . SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. We hear the sound of arctic winds. Ramona is out of your league. 22 SCOTT Yeah. JULIE Whatever. He’s totally dating a high schooler. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. I don't know what it is about that girl. me and Kim are all good now.

that girl. 20. SCOTT So. Okay.. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams. 23 WALLACE You guess right.. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup...INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ..can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party... WALLACE Girl. SCOTT I think she’s. Wallace flops onto the futon. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. landing next to Scott. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. WALLACE There he is... WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace.. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. From my dream. I don't know what it is about that girl. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. WALLACE You think he’s. WALLACE Library. WIDE awake. and hey! There she is.NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. F T (CONTINUED) A . Wallace storms in.

Who told you? STACEY Duh. friend.. B A STACEY Well.up. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right.. cellphone in hand. SCOTT What’s that? Break.. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. Bye.high school... WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something. Wallace. SCOTT Wait... Wallace drifts off..fake.girlfriend. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. I should send out a mass text about this. who is out cold. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace. RINGY RING! Scott answers. 23 WALLACE Mmm. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.

. Scott sits at Wallace's computer.. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE . What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool. SCOTT "Dear Mr.THIS IS.. .. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days.. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you... Pilgrim.. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon.this is.S.ca.... WALLACE Scott. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK. 23 SCOTT Wallace.. Moments pass.. This is..!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring. My name is Matthew Patel.ca..hmm.” Scott walks to the front door.Amazon..) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright.

23 SCOTT Maybe. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE It's the weekend.

Scott JUMPS to his feet..DAY A . 26 EXT. PIZZA PIZZA .DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. his thoughts elsewhere.. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. out of sync. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. B 25 INT.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. 23 DINGY DONG. He plasters on his best fake smile. Scott doesn't eat.. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy. Uh huh. still distracted. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket.. SCOTT That's sucky. SONIC BOOM . KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. That’s cute. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. THE GOODWILL . SCOTT Attack hug. Knives chows down on a slice.

B A F T A . SCOTT I tell ya'. 26 KNIVES CHAU ...but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek.INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A.

. And even better? It’s the T.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb.I.. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. Game. KNIVES CHAU (O. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. NegaNinja. Scott takes a deep breath..) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off.squares up against Scott’s avatar. everybody. (CONTINUED) . Knives BURSTS into frame. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show. 28 INT...1.B. THE ARCADE .9. alone by the window. Scott winces... KNIVES CHAU Uh oh. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up. SCOTT Um... 27 INT. 3. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. A NEGANINJA . The Rockit. This is never easy. Scott tunes his bass. On. but he messes up.8.S...I think.10.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . side by side.. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen. his timing off.B.. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives.. Scott plays halfheartedly.. staring out.2... I think.INTEGRATED FINAL 24.

) Oh my gosh. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right.. man. She grabs Scott. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. F Oh. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. It’ll be the cool kids too.S. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. This guy at work was like "Steve. Knives can barely contain herself. Great. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom.. KNIVES CHAU (O.) Crash and the Boys.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt.S. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Sure.

S. . I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O. they suck.S.) Oh my gosh.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.) Yeah.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.

.. and you were in my dream. that's okay. I was thinking about asking you out. no..... BATHROOM . down a row of LOCKERS leading to. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. RAMONA Um. He stares at himself in the mirror. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. um.. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell.a long. 29 INT.MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right. SCOTT RAMONA No. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . I dreamt you were delivering me this package.? 30 . DINGY DONG. skating past Scott and down the hall.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. A (CONTINUED) . Scott runs after her... You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. it's just like.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. 30 INT. but then I realized how stupid that would be.. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. Scott exits the bathroom. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . entering.. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it.INTEGRATED FINAL 26.. around a corner.

.. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. Not even.. RAMONA You know.. SCOTT Okay well. I mean. That's how it works. You’d be impressed. you're like American? RAMONA Why. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. right? I've lived here forever. (CONTINUED) F T A . I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada..you need to sign for this. RAMONA You still have to sign.. SCOTT So. That was some total ass. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. SCOTT But if I sign for it.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. She gives him a pen. you'll leave. RAMONA Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. I was the other guy. Noooooo.

RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. . You assumed wrong... RAMONA I need to find a new route. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. 31 SCOTT You are like... Oh. I'm totally waiting on you. SCOTT Sorry. yeah. And throws the package straight in the trash. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line.. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude.. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. PARK . Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park.you know. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um.if that's cool. RAMONA Well.my dream girl. So. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom.

RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs.. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so. They sit on some swings in the park. F SCOTT Is Gideon...is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) ... SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do. RAMONA This is good.a friend. SCOTT This is good. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29.. RAMONA He’s. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park.

INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. SCOTT Well. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. Chilled as in cold. RAMONA Yeah. It’s weird. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those.. RAMONA Uh. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. . RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed.. it’s certainly chilled here. B A Um. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much.

. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. yeah..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. SCOTT Yeah. 34 SCOTT It’s. relax. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date.. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue.. no. RAMONA This is ridiculous. RAMONA Well. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. Laughing. SCOTT So this is a 'date'.. SCOTT I feel so stupid. Ramona hops off her swing. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. You're too desperate to be gay. The snowfall gets heavier. night’s not over yet. A Tongue. I believe you.. you’re probably not that stupid. Wallace is pretty gay.. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. RAMONA Anyway.. RAMONA Dude. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. mostly stupid... Ramona walks away. ... This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. I can barely see you.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . I’m blind. SCOTT A door? I.. Help me. I can’t see you.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door... I..

green tea with lemon. Scott ventures upstairs.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. green tea with lemon and honey. What is that? B Ramona exits.. He watches as she slips out of her coat.) Here. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness. green tea.S. white truffle. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime. I'm just. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. 35 INT. ginseng. raspberry. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me.. He wanders towards a half open door. constant comment and earl grey. Ramona opens the door.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy.cold! RAMONA (O. blueberry chamomile.. After a moment alone. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing.S. T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA'S APARTMENT . A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket.) That's. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry.. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. SCOTT (O. sleepytime.very warm. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK.. Pushing it open. vanilla almond. does this help? SCOTT (O. liver disaster. girl friendly apartment.. ginger with honey. vanilla walnut.S. ginger without honey.) AAAH! Sorry.

A (CONTINUED) . The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off....INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33. smiling.since we're so cold. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.what about our tea? SCOTT I can.kay. Ramona breaks off. F T SCOTT Maybe. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you..not have tea. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline. RAMONA I changed my mind...maybe we should both get under it. You can sleep in my bed. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh... SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything. Pilgrim. Scott is in heaven. They look into each others eyes... revealing black panties to complement black bra.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess... SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. A Ohh... 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him. RAMONA Well..kay. Scott takes his shirt off..camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott. Not right now. They tumble onto the bed and make out..

An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. thanks. I didn't even get any. SCOTT Hey. . B A 37 EXT. we're terrible. Whatever this is.that was a joke.. Scott walking next to her. It's been like a really long time. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. Scott relaxes. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing.. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . Ramona skates towards the front gate. So.I think I needed this.. Please come.. RAMONA'S ROOM . just this.oh. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. 35 SCOTT This is cool.. They exchange a smile. Ramona is gone.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel.. RAMONA I have to work. and this is. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. RAMONA You're welcome.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A. 37 RAMONA Sure.

. Scott Pilgrim.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. I did totally come.... 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. 212 664-7665. reaching Scott at the bar. girl number. THE ROCKIT . Scott is so amazed at her presence. . Ramona is already skating far. SCOTT Oh. Scott looks back up. STACEY And this is Wallace. far away. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. I’m Stacey. B A F T 38 INT. She hands him a note. his room-mate. RAMONA Hey. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. right back next to Scott.At The- “THE ROCKIT. He’s chronically enfeebled. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. WALLACE Hey. STACEY Excuse my brother. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. hey! It’s tonight.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. his social skills vanish. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”.

SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. wake up. BACKSTAGE . SCOTT I. PROMOTER (O. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. wearing makeup and new clothes.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. THE ROCKIT. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare.. For sound check. The sound guy hated us.. Go. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. Scott’sScott goes white.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. He didn’t even see Knives come in. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. He pushes her away. People love us. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. To. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . Is this a nightmare? Wake up.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. Wallace stares at Jimmy. 38 STACEY And this is Knives.uh. Scott scurries off. Stacey stares at Scott. Knives looks kinda sexy. wake up. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY.. 39 INT. STILLS We were just on stage..

Wallace yells from the balcony. 8 year old girl drummer. 40 INT.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy.haven't started playing yet. and it's called "We Hate You. WALLACE That was a test.INTEGRATED FINAL 37... THE ROCKIT. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. . TOO? CRASH Yes. gives Wallace the finger. THE ROCKIT.04 seconds. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. WALLACE Jimmy. A41 INT. STAGE . TRASHA. CRASH Thank you. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. STAGE . Jimmy.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in ." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. Please Die. BACKSTAGE . I am Crash. Kim glowers. and these are the Boys. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. You passed. THE ROCKIT." And it goes a little something like this.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. I am so very very sad. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT.

B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B A F T A .

A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience". we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. STAGE .. 41 INT. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT.. BACKSTAGE . THE ROCKIT. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. Stacey turns to Ramona.. THE ROCKIT. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. He has so many friends.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. He's a friend. THE ROCKIT. 43 INT. BACKSTAGE . STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes. .CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. STACEY So Knives.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. BALCONY .. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So.um.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara.CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. THE ROCKIT. These guys are good. The audience are stunned.

So give it up for Sex. ANGLE on Knives.CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. TWO. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. Scott nods vigorously. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. 45 INT.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony..CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story.. THE ROCKIT. F (CONTINUED) . finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott.. STAGE .. KNIVES CHAU Well.you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT. sees Stacey talking to Knives. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE... BALCONY . Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on..you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. THE ROCKIT. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. ONE..INTEGRATED FINAL 39... SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT.yeah. staring at the stage. BACKSTAGE . barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic. THE ROCKIT. She faints in the excitement.

They land in THE PIT. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. Consider our fight.. MATTHEW PATEL Mr.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. SCOTT Thank you. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. Pilgrim. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. It is I. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. Patel LANDS like a cat... A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . Alright. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. Matthew Patel. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott.. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. Pilgrim.

47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Scott blocks. Scott blocks. then holds his hand up for a time-out. Patel punches. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. . non-jock boy in school. Scott looks up to Ramona. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. We were one hell of a team. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. Scott evades and counter-attacks. We only kissed once. breathing heavy. After a week and a half. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. They pause. landing kicks and punches. Patel evades. all the little jocks wanted me. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. Matthew was the only non-white. They exchange furious blows. probably in the entire state. Scott jump-spins away from danger. then lands more punches. I told him to hit the showers. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. in the seventh grade.

INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

Scott rolls across the stage.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. SCOTT Open your eyes. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. T A (CONTINUED) . the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. Scott dodges. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. you’re not the brightest. wait. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. Scott hits the ground. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. Patel levitates into the air. It hits Patel square in the eyes. Maybe you’ll see. He flips back onto the stage. narrowly dodging the attack. POOF.. 47 SCOTT Dude. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. dodging a third wave of fireballs. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him.. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down.

48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Passes Stacey. SCOTT Sweet. He explodes into COINS. Coins.O! Scott punches Patel. They clatter to the stage floor. Scott lands and picks them up. THE ROCKIT. BALCONY .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. 47 K. 48 INT.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast.

. I guess. clapping wildly from the balcony.INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43. THE ROCKIT.so like. BALCONY . THE ROCKIT. $2. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives.. 50 INT.. Ramona yanks Scott away. THE BUS . you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT. it was great meeting you. Sex Bob-Omb wins. Ramona takes a breath. The Promotor ambles back onstage. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. SCOTT Aw man. STAGE . A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. Tell your gay friends I said bye. PROMOTER Yeah... RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them.. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT.. who is being resuscitated by Tamara..40? That's not even enough for the bus home.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake.CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. 48 RAMONA Well.but he is long gone..

SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. what you're saying is. I guess. a spring in his step.. Do you want to make out? Uh. SCOTT Cool.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. SCOTT So. . Scott kisses Ramona. And someone has a second date tonight.maybe first and a half.. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. right? I got to second base last night.. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. I mean me. Scott bursts through the front door. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. The studio audience 'awwww's. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. someone got to second base last night. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. SCOTT Well. The studio audience applauds.. yes. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. 52 53 OMITTED INT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ...

You have to break up with Knives. Today. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. I swear to God. SCOTT You’re a monster.you're.. T A . hey. WALLACE Okay. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. If you have a problem with it.it's HARD. I don't want you gaying up the place. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly.. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee... SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost.. Scott. Scott.. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. WALLACE If you don't do it..but.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45.. so you can't be here tonight. F SCOTT But you.. SCOTT But. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives..

53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

46. The one after that. 54 EXT. B A Ummm.. Knives.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. Uh.. SCOTT Oh. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . SCOTT So. bucko.okay. I am stalking him later. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes. Surprising no one. SCOTT You suck. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. KNIVES CHAU (O. Um. Wallace turns the television way up.is me pulling the trigger. The next click is me hanging up... SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh.S..INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. do you want to. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. like.. Hi. hey. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off.S. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller.

. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah. T (CONTINUED) A . It's my birthday dinner.. just so bad.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town..I think that's a really bad idea. Chinese food? Yeah. I wanted to invite you over for dinner.. Well.and... listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder. 55 INT.. hey. I'm in. really. Like.. it's okay. SCOTT Like. It’s not my favorite.. pounding inside Scott's head.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. SCOTT And. KNIVES CHAU Oh. to meet my parents. B A SCOTT Uh. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah. SONIC BOOM .LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm..INTEGRATED FINAL 47. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom. KNIVES CHAU No.

listen. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott brushes it away. SCOTT Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A.I was thinking we should break up or whatever.. 55 Knives is so smitten. the word actually appears onscreen.. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop.

We broke up. thinking about Knives. Kim and Stills share a look. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2.... in shock. SCOTT Aw.. thanks. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles.um. SCOTT Aw. Oh. her funky pink hair. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. leaving Knives in the aisle. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.. I meant scum of the earth. KIM PINE Wait. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out..you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . YOUNG NEIL You. thanks. 56 INT. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs...DAY Scott sits on the bus alone. 57 SCOTT Oh. THE BUS / RECORD STORE .EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up.. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. a little happier.it's not going to work out. KIM PINE Scott.. you are the salt of the earth. thinks of something happier. 56 57 INT/EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. No.

. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. I just dyed it. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. SCOTT It’s all blue.. whether they’re old..INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. this is Stephen Stills. Like you said. now sporting BLUE HAIR...you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . We were lucky to survive that last round. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. RAMONA Yes. new or new-new. RAMONA Yeah. B A Scott ushers her in. This is sudden death now. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. 57 SCOTT Yeah. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. Kim mimes shooting herself. that’s. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. YOUNG NEIL Newnew.. weirded out by this hair development. but don’t worry. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. Kim. RAMONA Hey everyone. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. Young Neil.

INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

Get used to it. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. 58 Ramona lounges. See you guys tomorrow.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. He’s an idiot.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . good. Scott drops the act. Good. YOUNG NEIL . I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. KIM PINE Believe it or not. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. KIM PINE Yeah. SCOTT She changed her hair. I actually dated Scott in high school. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. Ramona goes to the bathroom.. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area.. Starts ushering Ramona out again. dude.. preparing food as Wallace looks on. Cool. Scott fake laughs.uh. STEPHEN STILLS Uh.. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. SCOTT Okay. reading a magazine.

INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue.

come find me at the Castle. Good. good. if you strike out in the next hour. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. A (CONTINUED) . Wallace pulls on a jacket. “when”. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. She’s spontaneous. Scott stops Wallace at the door.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. Ramona returns. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. Impulsive. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. See you in sixty. Oh my god. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. picnic style. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT Don’t go. 58 SCOTT I know. with a panicked whisper. Fickle. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it.

Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Ra-mona. SCOTT No. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. A (CONTINUED) . it goes like this: Ra-mona. RAMONA You'd get fat. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. Ra-mona. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. Ramona is taken aback. Ooooh. Mona. Mona.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Ra-ra-ra. Ra-ra-ra. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. Ra-mona. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. Or just all the time without even stopping.

NARRATOR She dumped him. I like it long.. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53.... It’s just that I got. But it’s so long ago. sorry. It was. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time.she stopped liking me.. NARRATOR It wasn’t. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. 58 SCOTT Ha. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. SCOTT Not really. three hours before his big breakup. T A .. I can barely remember it. she told me it was mutual. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. Then. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in.. No. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago. But she stopped liking that name. Earl Jones deep. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears. It was brutal. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since.. RAMONA Your hair is cute..

They’re shooting this movie up here. Putting one leg in front of the other.. I don’t know. bright movie set lights. . in which case I do drugs all the time.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. I just love me some walking...INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs... Things seem a little brighter around you or something. every drug. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle.heightened. a castle surrounded by big. who? SCOTT I forget. I just. ENDLESS STAIRWAY .I don't know. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. unless you do. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. T A SCOTT Nooo. Not that I do drugs.. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. 59 EXT. RAMONA Oh. but. Let’s find out. long handrail between them. F SCOTT Yeah. as if crossing a magical line. 59 RAMONA You seem a little.you make me feel.

doing kickflips. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. I am not a slut.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. T (CONTINUED) A . Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. RAMONA Oh. B A What? Why? Slut. We gotta go. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. CASA LOMA . F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. man. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. FIRST A. Mr. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man.INTEGRATED FINAL 55. 60 EXT. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee.D. RAMONA Ooh. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). The spectators go “oooh”. He skates towards the set. including Wallace.

. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. SCOTT . SCOTT Oh.my. . SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. RAMONA He just followed me around...you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade. who remains oblivious. He was a little snot nosed brat. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. LUCAS LEE Action... 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade. who gasps. We had drama. Actually... it might have been math. I just remember there being lots of drama.. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott.God.

Scott comes back up with a pen and paper.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. wobbly. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. How’s life? He seems nice. . He nods to Ramona. WALLACE Scott. Fight. flooring him. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. Evil ex. crumbling it.

SCOTT Hey. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. He slides across the wet-down ground. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face.S.S. smirking on the sidelines. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station.) Looks like you’re seeing double. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. Tae Kwon Doe style. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. LUCAS LEE He’s good.) Mr. A . punchy. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. hey.. all identically dressed.. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. Scott stands to fight the double.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57.. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. SCOTT (O. Scott staggers to his feet.. Suddenly. Lucas Lee wanders off.

POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. bro. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor.. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. preparing for the deathblow. shocked to see Scott. 60 Lucas turns. Lucas offers a hand..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. . Scott goes to shake it. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. well then don't worry about it. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. LUCAS LEE Prepare. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK.. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP.. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop.. SCOTT You’re needed back on set. framed through the torn skyline.no. Let’s get a beer. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen.. Lucas stomps over to him.

impressed at Lucas. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. SCOTT So you can sell them. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard.. SCOTT Wow. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. F T A (CONTINUED) . Cut back to Scott & Wallace. I have my own skate company. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good.. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. bro.. a perfect ollie onto the rail. Big fan... Lucas pulls down his shirt.. revealing a skate company tattoo. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. if it’s too hardcore.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. HSSSSSSSSS.. WALLACE Hi. SCOTT Hey.. very impressed at Lucas. ese.

INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE Wow. HSSSSSSSSS. Scott smacks his forehead. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs.. 60 SCOTT Wow. he totally bailed.. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph.

T SCOTT Hey.. Call me back.D. Uh. she totally bailed. please record your message after the beep. A Scott slumps on the couch. . (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. 212 664-7665. Scott again. It’s me. It was right under your nose. phone pressed to his ear.. 61 INT. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. Scott Pilgrim.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. 60 FIRST A. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. you said that last night. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. RAMONA is not available. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming.that’s a wrap everybody. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah.

Scott picks up. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. Step up your game. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES.. VOICE (O. completely shocked at this bombshell. I need you to move out.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . Scott. then you have to let her know. Either way. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. WALLACE If you want something bad. Look. A SEXY. You have the spirit of a warrior. Scott slides to the floor. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus.S. RINGY RING. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word.. Break out the L-word. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. guy. you have to fight for it. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. it’s “love”.) Hey Scott.

INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)

62. 61

SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?

SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?

B
Oh.

A
Uh. No.

ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)

F

SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.

T

A
(CONTINUED)

INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)

63. 61

SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.

WALLACE Or does it?

Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.

Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.

Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62

Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62

B

Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.

A

KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?

F

WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?

T
(CONTINUED)

A

Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.

INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:

63A. 62

WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.

B

A
(CONTINUED)

F

T

A

but I just cashed my last raincheck. SCOTT Wait. darlin’. Hits SOMETHING. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. obviously. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. Prepare to die. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. She spins to face Scott. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. I’ve had it today. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. SCOTT Okay.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. T SCOTT Listen. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. SHWAA .INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. . A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. He’s pissed now. 62 SHFFF . technically this is not a nightmare.

it’s Scott. Someone help me.the Mystery Attacker vanishes. I’m really. It’s actually me. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . Scott looks to the sky.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . It’s everyone else that’s crazy. SCOTT Well. But you won’t see me. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. BLOOR STREET .) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. SCOTT It’s Scott. really not up for this. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken. dialing Stacey frantically. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time.S. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. STACEY (O.S. then I’ll see you later. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. Scott is in his usual payphone. SCOTT Oh man. STACEY (O. baffled.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. Whatever it is.

something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". THE SECOND CUP . I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter.) I’m literally about to leave. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. Are you still working? 65. (CONTINUED) . mouthing that she has to go. Stacey has her back turned.S. And by the way. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. I’m having a meltdown or whatever.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. I’m coming in. not happy. Scott turns back to Julie.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. SCOTT Cool. Stacey turns around. 63 STACEY (O.

SCOTT No.. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. No biggie. "ENVY ADAMS. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again.. No. I know it's early days. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. I do that. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. You kind of disappeared. SCOTT Yeah. She looks at the floor." The icy. A . JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which..INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. (CONTINUED) A Exes. 23. Listen. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. RAMONA Yeah. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. They share an awkward moment. I want to hang..the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes.

F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona.excuse me. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. I know.. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. SCOTT Yeah. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. ENVY Great. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. You’re so on the list. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. I’m jealous. . SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. Ramona goes to order coffee. so totally come. You guys should like. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. RAMONA I’m gonna.. We’re playing Lee’s Palace.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. ENVY Okay.

65 EXT. SCOTT I can see how it sucks. Ramona returns. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. that was Envy.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So. That didn’t end well either... How.that was Nat? .. F T RAMONA So. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you.. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. 65 SCOTT No. That.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. This guy Todd. RAMONA And two weeks later. sipping their coffees. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. About. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. Having the past come back to haunt you.

INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all.. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. Scott and Young Neil. 66 INT. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. Tricky.INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. Mm. Ramona stops and kisses him. 66 Scott stands (no pants). Music swells. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . B A Word.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. From this moment on. Ramona lounges on the couch. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. Move on. SCOTT Right. SCOTT Double negative. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim.

INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. And Envy asked us to open for them. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . STEPHEN STILLS No.

for the band? For the band. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. 67 SCOTT I hate you. .INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. pressed against the window. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. We need stalkers. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows.EVENING B A Yeah. We need groundswell. You know. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. SCOTT Yeah.. We need to get some buzz going.. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. DRUG SMART . Is a gig. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone.

looking sexy. 68A INT. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot.INTEGRATED FINAL 71. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA.. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault.I look so. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. so he tried to find someone cool but old. Knives throws a long scarf on. This is all her fault. eyes narrowing. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. KNIVES’ BATHROOM .EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl.so good. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever.. (CONTINUED) .. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay.. this really burns.

CONTINUOUS A 70 . drunk. She knows we suck. LEE’S PALACE . F T 70 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know.Sold out’.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. 71 71 INT. But I know how to get him back. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . Ramona excuses herself. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. LEE'S PALACE .NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. Bar. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. LEE’S PALACE . so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. We were Sex Bob-Omb. Now. as she plots. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. Tamara pops into frame. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. PUSH into Knives. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you.

Or is it. "KNIVES CHAU. 72 INT. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. Knives follows.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. confused. 17. Briefly. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. standing next to Ramona. clothes and makeup. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. looking hot. LEE'S PALACE.. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona.. SCOTT Briefly. LEE'S PALACE . F T . RAMONA Hey. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. LADIES BATHROOM .

revealing a stunning figure. EVIL-EX #3. (turns beet red) I mean. 75 INT. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her. 25. (CONTINUED) .MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. You know? Oh yeah. ENVY in a long black coat.. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light..MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee.. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. A I know. Stares at Scott. Envy lets her coat slip off. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. Knives screams her teen brains out. He’s alone. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes... LEE’S PALACE . he cuts a handsome. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. MENS BATHROOM . Pee time. (sing songy) Peee time.” and “Who. no longer shrouded in dry ice. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. Oh yeah. I gotta pee. LEE’S PALACE. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. "TODD INGRAM. striking ROCK GOD figure.. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A. Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors.LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb. 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT. LEE'S PALACE .

. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . RAMONA Hey Todd. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. Everyone else feels. Envy. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. you have to see them live. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . Oh. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts.“AWKWARD”. TODD INGRAM Been a while.. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. YOUNG NEIL Man. RAMONA Mmm hmm. They’re so much better live. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. LEE’S PALACE. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. Just oh my God. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. Envy burns a hole through Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man.

they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. ENVY So. Stephen. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. You know him... JULIE Ramona lived in New York. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. ENVY Just saying.. cute couple. Envy. ENVY I was just there. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy.. Did you get those jeans in New York. KNIVES CHAU Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. in general? T A . I like your outfit Ramona. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah.Envy? I read your blog. you know? You suit each other. it’s not something I can really put into words.

. 77 Scott looks at Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A..Knives stands up. She is about to answer when. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

choking. SCOTT KK. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. Scott boils. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. Scott hovers. ENVY You’re incorrigible.. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT.. I’m a rock star.yy. JULIE So. Her hair is black and plain as before.. TODD INGRAM That’s right. Todd smirks. Her..my neck. Out.. grasping his neck.. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. Of. B A F T A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. Hair. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. Todd sits back down like nothing happened.. 77 Envy nods at Todd.your hair. Young Neil escorts Knives out.. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet.

While the others bicker. SCOTT If I peed my pants. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man.anyone can be. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. if you knew the science. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. Ramona helps Scott to his feet...INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. He tries to keep cool. despite being in a lot of pain. SCOTT No kidding. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. Scott sails out of shot and into space. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. question. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. I always wondered.vegan. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe.. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying.. He moans in pain. TODD INGRAM Bingo. A (CONTINUED) .

INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 77 RAMONA It’s not raining.

) We hated everyone. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. RAMONA (V. RAMONA (V.. We wrecked stuff. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. It’s part of the reason I moved here. so I dumped him.. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. A (CONTINUED) .O. It was pretty crazy.O. RAMONA (V. I guess that’s not very nice. Nobody cares. but I used to be kind of.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. RAMONA (V. RAMONA Look. A brief.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. 77 SCOTT Oh.like that. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff.O.O. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. It’s pretty crazy. Nobody cared.) A week and a half later.

TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business. She dusts.. And the cleaning lady. call us when you’re done.sort of ready for another round. B A SCOTT Sorry.Monday. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. T SCOTT A SCOTT I. Stills calls through the hole.dust.. Right? ENVY Basically.nice! F Um. I and he! Scott stands up . SCOTT You used to be so. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona .. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. SCOTT He and me.. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds. Scott CHARGES at Todd.. We hear a distant CRUMP. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.dislike you.. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . so.cleans up.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80.... What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday.... TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.ready for another round.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . he’ll be done real soon.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. 77 ENVY Oh.

RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. Crummy way to end things. LEE'S PALACE . cringing.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. You’re through. Pilgrim. amp pegged to 10. I know.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. Todd calls to a roadie. picking the hell out of his bass. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. fauxhawk rising. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. He hovers next to him. Your bass hand is badly injured. Envy grins at Ramona. I actually know how to play bass. wicked. Todd LEVITATES. LEE’S PALACE. Todd floats toward him. Suddenly. floating towards Scott with his bass. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. 78 INT. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. Envy appears beside him with a smirk.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. ENVY Sorry. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. Scott turns around on his knees. shredding him into oblivion. baby. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. The good one. savoring the kill. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. 79 (CONTINUED) .

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. but that's pathetic. 79 ENVY I’m sorry.

INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. Todd floats to the ground.. SCOTT Actually. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. tool. I poured soy in this cup. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a.m. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. I'll take the one with soy. You know. in my mind's eye or whatever. 7:30 p.m. A . bitch. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. you knowingly ingested Gelato. on February 1st. Thanks. takes one of the cups and drinks. no vegan powers. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs.

shooting Envy a look on the way out. 79 Envy gasps. Julie pops into shot. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. in shock. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. sorry I guess. So I guess we’re even. Now let’s get out of here.. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. jaw ajar. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. SCOTT Maybe they should.. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. Ramona follows. Natalie. F SCOTT Uh. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. disgusted. Envy blinks. Envy stares. I know. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. (CONTINUED) . ENVY No one calls me that anymore.

Julie. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. ENVY Shut the fuck up. Stills coughs. Ramona and Scott. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. 79 JULIE For the record. And hot.. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay..oh. I am so pissed off for you right now. It’s an odd mood. PIZZA PIZZA . I liked him. WALLACE Envy Adams. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. on the fringes. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. 80 INT. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. A (CONTINUED) .NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. That Todd guy was cool too. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. KIM PINE Then why would we. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties.

B 81 EXT. Yet.. not with fists. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. Scott takes another bite. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing.. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . Hey. lagging behind. so. AFTER PARTY . RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. Oh. Scott limps a bit. WALLACE I mean. He shrugs. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. we can totally go. Ooh.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. Ramona falls back with him.NIGHT A Oh. So let’s go. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night.

. I’m fine. I’m fine.. 81 SCOTT No. It’s justRAMONA It’s just.? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.

INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)

86. 81

SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?

SCOTT Wait...is that good?

SCOTT But not...later?

SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82

B

A

F

RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.

T
(CONTINUED)

RAMONA It’s what I need right now.

A

RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.

INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:

87. 82

RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.

SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.

They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?

We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.

They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.

B

A
That’s it?

RAMONA And what about you and Kim?

SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
(CONTINUED)

F

SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.

T

A

RAMONA And was she cool with that?

INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)

88. 82

Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.

SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.

PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?

B

A
Exes.

SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA

SCOTT Why do you keep saying-

F

RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.

T

In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.

A
(CONTINUED)

I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you.. F T A (CONTINUED) . 82 ROXY Oh boy. ROXY Back off hasbian. B A ROXY Well honey..talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER.. SCOTT What.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air..is.she. 23. If Gideon can’t have you. The girls square off. The League hath spoken. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. no one can. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious.. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. clearing the busy dance floor. does she know me. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face.” RAMONA It was just a phase.. Roxy flips out of the hold. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing.

The belt wraps around it. He’s a creep. Ramona. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. She BLOCKS with the hammer. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. RAMONA Believe it. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. you slag. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. This is a League game. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. this is live? Uh huh. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. It smashes a speaker. leaving a dent in it.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. ROXY Give it a rest. With blinding speed. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. F WALLACE Oh yeah. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other.

Or possibly feet.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.

A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. still in the splits.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends.. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. They’re soft. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey.. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B.. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. RAMONA Whenever we were making out. She grins at Ramona. . winces. ROXY Fight your own battles. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms.never. Roxy falls. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. Some sooner than others.. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. He lands HARD on the floor. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy.. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee.be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS.. She staggers. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. kicking them apart with the splits.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . a wave of gossip spreading around the room. 82 The party starts up again. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A.

SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. The gossip echoes around them. Ramona follows tentatively.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink.. Scott has already downed his second drink. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. SCOTT Only on special occasions. RAMONA Sooooo. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk.. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. She touches her hair. Ramona tries to lighten things. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. RAMONA I really think we should split. T A (CONTINUED) . Looks hurt. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next.

82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A.

I don’t enjoy all this Scott. KATAYANAGI TWINS. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. Ramona exits proper.. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. A (CONTINUED) .NIGHT B A But then . RAMONA (CONT’D) P. I thought you might be more understanding..Ramona returns. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room.” 83 INT. LEE. INGRAM. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Scott looks at the list. You’re drunk. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. RAMONA Dirty laundry. Here’s your stupid list. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes.S. In fact I’m sick of it. GIDEON. It reads“PATEL. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. You. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. RICHTER. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. Ramona leaves. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops.

INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:

94. 83

We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.

STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.

B
84

EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...

A
Whoa...

STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84

F

SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.

T

SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.

A
(CONTINUED)

INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:

94A. 84

Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.

B

A
(CONTINUED)

F

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A

INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)

95. 84

STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?

SCOTT That’s impossible85

“ACTUALLY, NO”

Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.

KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.

Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.

B

A

F

T

INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT

A
85
(CONTINUED)

STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?

85 KIM PINE Oh. She’s totally here.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. She looks happy. Scott. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. is serious and very Japanese.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear.) They brought the house down.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. The crowd cheers. leaving a huge hole in the roof. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. She is totally there. Now an open air venue. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice..INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. Scott and Stills get into battle position. Scott turns bleak again.. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. we can do this. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. KEN KATAYANAGI. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. is very serious and Japanese... ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. 23. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. They are chatting.. (CONTINUED) . 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd.. KYLE KATAYANAGI. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. A wall of FEEDBACK builds.. Can we do this? I mean. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. 23.S.. SNOW falls onto the stage. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right.

SCOTT Gideon. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. 37. They share a nod.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs.. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. ASSHOLE. SCOTT Alright. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. Kyle looks at Ken. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. This is GIDEON GRAVES. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. comes in heavy on the kick drum. T A (CONTINUED) . BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES.. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. then helps Kim up. He struggles to his feet. We’re done. Scott. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. For once. they sound awesome.

was epic. I’m not even stalking you. Scott follows. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. SCOTT Getting a life.. 86 EXT. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. hovering next to Scott. SCOTT Ramona. but she and Gideon are gone.. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. The crowd goes bazooky.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. THE NINTH CIRCLE . Knives watches him go. eyes narrowing.. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. He can’t find Ramona. different. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause.. SCOTT You seem.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. different. What are you doing? . RAMONA Yeah.. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. I have something I need to tell you. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. SCOTT Ramona. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That..

86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. . RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. really mean it. Listen. I don’t care about any of that stuff. And I want you to know. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you.

is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs. VOICE (O.... TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. B A Bob-omb.. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. T RAMONA It’s Gideon.. A driver opens the passenger door.S. A (CONTINUED) . GIDEON GRAVES You know. captioned “PEE”. Stills is ga-ga. Scottie. Okay.. 86 RAMONA Oh.) That’s the bad news. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. The Lincoln parks.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. Ramona looks at the floor. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind.it's not going to work out. Oh okay. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. I just. Scott glowers. GIDEON GRAVES The good news.I can’t help myself around him. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final.

INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.

can I just say. There are hand shakes all round. A meek Young Neil slides into view. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. bass in hand. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. Kim shrugs and signs it too. we should really be thanking each other. A . 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. GIDEON And hey. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. before trying to hand it back to Scott. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. SCOTT Nuh-uh. A cough.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. Scott stands alone. I mean. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. So I guess it all shakes out. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. but if it wasn’t for you. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. keep your emotions in check. you would have never been with Ramona. GIDEON Oh and Scott. Scott. she wouldn’t be back with me. if it wasn’t for me. buddy. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us.

A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona.... Scott tries desperately to think positive. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . thinking about Ramona.NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN . 87 INT..INTEGRATED FINAL 100A.... Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car..

SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. THE PARK . WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. Well that’s not so bad.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off.S.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) .. Gets a shock.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends.NIGHT Scott enters. 88 B A STACEY Oh. little brother. Night turns to day. 88 INT. gives Scott a hug. Day turns to night. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like.S. Over PITCH BLACK. Scott remains in the exact same position. staring straight ahead. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. “THONK”. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT.. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. F T A STACEY (O. SCOTT Seven.. STACEY Time heals all wounds. Scott looks at the camera.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. Flicks the light on. Stacey heads off.

SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe).S. wrapped in a blanket. SCOTT (O. and I apologize for that. Scott sits in the chair. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O.) It’s Chris. WALLACE Ah. 88 WALLACE (O. it’s probably just because he’s better than you.S. SCOTT And the year. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. WALLACE (O.) It’s Chris. 89 INT.) Sorry. I get it.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102.) Or someone. T . That sucks. SCOTT She’s with Gideon.S. VOICE (O.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . F SCOTT WALLACE Scott.S. But I need my own bed tonight. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. A Right. Right. you know I love you. For sex. But you know.S.

Scott nods. 89 Scott nods. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A.

INT.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay.) Hey. Some guy picks up.S. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. SCOTT (O.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. 89 WALLACE Either way. I don’t want any hard feelings. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. SCOTT RINGY RING. it’s gonna be alright.S. 91 (CONTINUED) . I think this fight is over. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch.S. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. pal. He calls off. Scott stares at the phone. Scott nods. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . T A Thanks. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103.) Yeah. GIDEON'S LAIR . I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know.

REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. What do you say? . HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O.) I hope so. Finish him. amigo. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. Whatever. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. HIPSTER KID Cool. 92 EXT. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. alarmed.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104.) What a perfect asshole. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. Well as you know.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. Scott turns.S.S. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. STREETS OF TORONTO . leaning against a warehouse wall. SCOTT Mm. F SCOTT WALLACE (O.S) Sure you did. Maybe I’ll see you there. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. Click. B Password? Scott shrugs.

B A F T A . 93 INT. So far so good. Scott steps into the elevator. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. HIPSTER KID Cool. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. WAREHOUSE .NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug.

SCOTT What if I have a beef.INTEGRATED FINAL 105.. skinny jeans. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. looking up at his former bandmates. COMEAU Yeah.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O.. (CONTINUED) .. wearing identical outfits. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. then you’re doomed. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. now using SWEET BRAND amps.the CHAOS THEATRE. STEPHEN STILLS Well. CHAOS THEATRE .) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. their first album is so much better than their first album. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go. COMEAU holds court among them. Ramona kneels at his side. YOUNG NEIL on bass. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Chuck Taylors.S.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID.. 94 INT. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. They are legion.

The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. (CONTINUED) .) Scott earned the power of love..buddy. Gideon loses his cool.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. Ramona looks away from Scott.. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. A new power comes over Scott. Scott gets into a fighting stance. It’s ancient history. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. whatever. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. buddy. I’m in love with her. flexes. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona.. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is.. NARRATOR (V. Gideon stands up. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving.O. Gideon smiles. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. League.

Then from above. My cane. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT... GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. Gideon chuckles. 18 YEARS OLD. we are here to make money. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there.. He slashes at them to the beat. rolling to a stop. “KNIVES CHAU. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. Scott looks to Knives. Scott hits the ground HARD. (CONTINUED) . FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb.. Gideon raises his sword. and sell out and stuff.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. She lands awkwardly.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities.S. SCOTT Your club sucks. KNIVES CHAU (O. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. ON BEAT. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. Gideon approaches. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. by the way. to administer a final blow. both concerned and amazed. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. exploding each attacker into COINS.

He was warned plenty of times. T A (CONTINUED) . your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. throwing blocks and punches. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. distracted by his duelling exes.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. KUNG FU STYLE. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. I didn’t steal anyone. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. separating them. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. Kung Pao Chicken. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows.

.. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody.cheat. THE DREAM DESERT .. Okay? (beat) I mean...death. but you can’t. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me..maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away.DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus.. rubbing his temples..SAND blows through frame..S. With you. but. .. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.. GIDEON (O. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground.. You can cheat on these ladies all you want.. 95 EXT.. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white.. neither amused. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat. Knives.Scott's eyes blink open. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us..

fainter than before. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Ramona appears out of nowhere. 95 SCOTT Ugh.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A.

Seeing as I’m about to die. maybe now would be the time to get into it. But he ignored me. self-consciously touching her hair. Scott. eh? B A SCOTT Well. and that’s when he started paying attention. He just. That’s why I had to leave. it was me who was obsessed. has a way of getting into my head. SCOTT Well.. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT That is evil.. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. Ramona covers the chip. RAMONA Alright. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated.. he literally has a way of getting into my head. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry....INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. Dying probably sucks. the truth is. that’s legitimately disappointing. RAMONA He’s like that. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. I was crazy about him. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. I mean.. RAMONA No.. I really will leave you alone forever now.

NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. SCOTT .so alone. A Ahhhhhh. DA-DING.. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you. Ramona is gone.. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb.. I really fought for you back there. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. I guess. The winds blow harder. We had a good run. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. 96 INT.. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way.. He flicks the light on. as Scott enters.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. .. RAMONA Uh-huh. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD. SCOTT So. Scott slumps to his knees. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott. Ramona seeming to fade away.. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand.

) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. There were tests. GIDEON GRAVES (O. On PITCH BLACK. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. I don’t want any hard feelings..AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. Gideon Graves.) Again? WALLACE (O. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. So I did.. that’s you. when my journey began.S. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. enemies.. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along...S.S. a call I considered refusing. Chaos Theatre. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. WALLACE (O. guy.S. I was living in an ordinary world. I feel terrible about everything. Sadly. 96 SCOTT . GIDEON GRAVES (O.S. But before I do that. SCOTT Wallace. allies. during which I totally seized the sword.. I need to ask one final favor of you.) Scott. I died. But my Mentor. hands him the phone. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call.) F T A (CONTINUED) .) Sure thing. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. pal. B A Um.

hardcore. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. sorry. 96 SCOTT Sorry. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. exposing his junk.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah.

their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. 97 EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me. 98 INT. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . 96 SCOTT You seen one. the new line-up rocks. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. Young Neil? You have learned well. Kim shrugs.. knocking them out. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. deadpan as ever. From this point forward.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE.. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. STREETS OF TORONTO . you shall be known as “Neil”. Stephen. COMEAU Yeah. SCOTT Don’t worry. 99 INT.everything..AGAIN.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. I know what I’m doing. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. CHAOS THEATRE .. WAREHOUSE . You guys sound better without me.. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about..DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.

T SCOTT No. Ramona and Scott lock eyes.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O..) Scott earned the power of self-respect. exploding each attacker into COINS. Ramona at his side. They land on opposite sides of the platform. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. He unsheathes his SWORD. You’re pretentious. different than before. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. My cane. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. Ramona hands Gideon his cane.. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. A strange new power overcomes Scott. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. Scott goes straight into fight mode.O. let’s do it.S. the club sucks. LEAPING in the air. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. I have beef. backs to each other. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other.I want to fight you for me.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Dead. apparently. Scott calls out.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. 99 Gideon falls down.

And I’m sorry. She kicks him in the face. Knives. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . I was a different guy back then. I hurt you.. Ramona staggered. but still grinning. Scott turns to Ramona. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. I cheated on you. Knives steps back. Scott jumps between them. She didn’t mean that.. The CHIP no longer blinks. Scott GRABS her wrists. RAMONA Never felt better. taste my steel. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. They square off. SCOTT No.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here.you're not a fat ass. hands held out. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No.S. Knives pulling KNIVES.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. GIDEON GRAVES (O. bloodied. So. stunned. All turn to see GIDEON. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. Ramona rubs the back of her head. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . the three of them ready to rumble. GIDEON Ramona. Knives joins him. Scott steps into a fighting stance. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. 99 SCOTT Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. you got a fight alright. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE.

They barely dodge him. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . Knives throws her knives. He cuts big arcs at Scott. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. Ramona KICKS. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. . Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Scott ducks. Scott leaps in the air. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. SCOTT ATTACKS. Gideon BLOCKS. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. The swords create an “X”. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. Gideon BLOCKS. dropping her. You’re still my girl. disarms Scott with one move. baby. He shakes off the assault and grins. They CLASH in the air. knocking her down. They fence. Gideon hits her back. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Knives whips off her scarf. Gideon jumps after him. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. Gideon spins again and swings upward. He grins. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. takes a hesitant step towards him. his HEALTH BAR increases. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Gideon swings at Scott. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. Knives and Ramona. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack.his glasses glow. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. expecting her to move. She looks doubtful. Knives attacks and scores a hit. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. Gideon spins low. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air.

F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. They Get up and circle Gideon. You’re zero. I’m what’s happening. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches.. she kicks him in the back of the head. One lens of his glasses cracks.. Not long now. defeated. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. 99 Scott lands hard. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. A pain in my ass. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. She lands painfully at the bottom. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. I’m blowing up right now. From the floor. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. Knives and Scott share a look. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. You’re nothing. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. sending him spinning. Me? I’m what’s hip. (CONTINUED) .

And you got another thing right. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. The coin rain continues.) You two make a good combo. 99 SCOTT You’re right. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses..S. makes her way towards them. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. They share a smile. You are blowing up. Ramona.. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) .. KIM PINE There goes our deal. awake now. Right now. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. right? Kim points to the falling coins. Gideon’s head EXPLODES.. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. Scott and Knives kiss. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. RAMONA (O. Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal.

A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) .. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance..yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. Scott and Negascott face off.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw.. This is something I have to face on my own. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. nothing. We just shot the shit.. Knives and Ramona.. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face.) You can defeat me. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. They look expectantly at the entrance.. Evil face.. THE WAREHOUSE . Dark clothes. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. We actually have a lot in common. Both take a step forward. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. SCOTT No. shake hands and part ways. Then... worried for Scott. Fringed hair. He’s a super-nice guy.. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. They chat amiably. The glasses GLIMMER.S.but can you defeat.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118.

INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A. 104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

then realizes Ramona has gone. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. Where are you going? Ramona. Ramona sees this and smiles. RAMONA I should tahnk you. hoping to slip away. SCOTT I think I understand. though. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . I should probably disappear.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. SCOTT Hey. Steps tentatively away from Knives. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. B A RAMONA It's hard. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. He turns to see her.. F T Scott calls after her. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. literally taking his guard down. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. Snow begins to fall. stops and turns back. you know? I came here to get away. RAMONA I dunno. but the past keeps catching up. You do? Scott smiles..

Knives doesn’t look back. And stuff. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. She turns to walk off again. Ramona walks on into the night alone. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad.Nega Scott also sidles into frame.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. Scott watches. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek.. She takes his hand briefly. Bye and stuff. I’m too cool for you anyway.) Go get her. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. You’ve been fighting for her all along. A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Yeah.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her.. We hear a 2ND COUGH ... Guitar still in hand. then hearsKNIVES (O. F KNIVES You earned it. T Surprised. then lets it drop. RAMONA Well. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. We hear a COUGH .) Hey.S. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. Before she’s gone. but thenSCOTT (O.S.

we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves.. sunrise coming up over Toronto. F JULIE (V. it was apparently awesome. It was unbelievable.. winter turning to spring... 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside.5. Someone seriously should have been filming it.. A STACEY (V..O.4.3. snow swirling around it. try again? Ramona smiles. it was a HUGE fight. CONTINUE? 10....1. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars.2. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater. T Over this magical transformation. Yeah.8..INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier. I mean bananas.. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off.. night magically turning to day.. .6.) Oh my God.. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door.) Oh my God. Literally.. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could.7...O... Scott takes it.. A We see the door with the star on it..9.. standing right in the middle of the street.

INTEGRATED FINAL 120. 105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .

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