This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
Scott winks at Knives.S. MOTHER CHAU. demanding. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. Scott grins heroically. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese.. cute and innocent with clothes to match. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. 22 YEARS OLD. . books scattering everywhere. 45. 2 KIM PINE Well.. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. She's Chinese. sits next to her mother. Knives crouches down to pick up her books.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. RATING: AWESOME.) Hey.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag." Stars appear in Knives's eyes.. THE BUS . YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. SCOTT (O. 17.. grumbling. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. Scott winks at the camera. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So.
STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN . KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .DAY Back in the kitchen. 4 INT. everyone looks at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 2A...
STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . SCOTT Oh. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. this is Stephen Stills. Knives. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. He's the talent. 5 INT/EXT. man. hey. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. Scott smiles broadly. She geeks. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. Let it be soon. She has the capacity to geek. 4 SCOTT Yes. SCOTT She’ll geek. Scott opens the door a crack. B A Hey. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. Please be good.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. really. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. I want her to geek out on us. It is.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A.
INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. who finally gets it. wow. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi..yes. drums. Amps hum to life.. YOUNG NEIL Oh. guitar. sticks in her hands. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. (CONTINUED) .DAY Knives enters.Tetris. Knives waves. LAME BRAND amps. SCOTT Knives. ratty rug.. KNIVES CHAU Hi.. that’s Kim. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor.. KNIVES CHAU Wow. sorry..Zelda. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. bass. Lemme get your coat.. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . 6 INT. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil.that’s kind of a big question.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. . looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb. I just live here. that’s Young Neil. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives.S.. I’m not in the band.
. Kim. BUS STOP . Amazing. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. jaw ajar. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus.wait. Yeaaah. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM .. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. 7 EXT. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended. F (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Yeaaah.. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott. feedback lingering. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics. 8 INT. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome.amazing... if your life had a face I would punch it.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys. SCOTT B A Yeaaah. what? KIM PINE I mean. The song ends. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like.are so.. KNIVES CHAU I can't even.Sex Bob-Omb.. Knives watches.. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5...
SCOTT Yeaaaah.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. ha. ha. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. "WALLACE WELLS. Don’t tell too many people. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. yes. . TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. she seems awesome. arched eyebrow. SCOTT Neil. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha.. FUTON included. The whole seventeen year old thing. ha. You're totally my bitch forever. ROOMMATE. SCOTT So.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. Kim. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. you were saying she seems awesome.. disloyal. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. I'm dating a 17 year old. one room apartment. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . turns to Young Neil. dark hair. 24 YEARS OLD. WALLACE Yeah.
9 WALLACE Hey. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A. you know me.
S. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. Scott picks up. Duh. WALLACE (O. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM.) You know me. starts texting. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. SCOTT That’s not true. cute. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. 19. Knives Chau. Don’t tell my sister. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. you will not be served”. peppy barista. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone." A STACEY (O. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. YOUNGER SISTER. Scott sinks into an armchair. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. The phone goes. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. 9 SCOTT I mean.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . WALLACE You know me.
. more like. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . you haven’tSCOTT No no no. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. SCOTT Well.. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly.. SCOTT This school has boys too.it’s just nice. I think she hugged me once.. so I wouldn't call it dating. At all. (CONTINUED) . or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. We haven’t even held hands. STACEY Oh my God.. the whole deal. Uniformed boys and girls pour out. Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. 9 SCOTT Yeah.. STACEY (CONT’D) So. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. STACEY Um.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. are you legitimately moving on.. F T A SCOTT I don't know. WALLACE I hate you.simple. 10 EXT. you know? It's just. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad..
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A.
She digs for quarters. T A WALLACE Yes.8. You know. Does he wear glasses? . counting down: 10. He’s gay.. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. 11 INT. Scott looks at Knives. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. CONTINUE appears. SCOTT Hey Knives. side by side. Run. THE ARCADE . Whispers.wow.. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O.. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. KNIVES CHAU Oh.9.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. Wow. Wallace Wells. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize.. WALLACE You're too good for him..DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. this is my cool gay roommate.S. like. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move..) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. KNIVES CHAU Oh. SCOTT Yeah. The game ends... KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION).
.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. 22. Hangers click in time. you guys are gonna be HUGE. "PIZZA PIZZA" . THE GOODWILL . RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. Julie.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. SCOTT Well.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. but you guys ROCK. Knives. Thank you. we're already pretty big. slices in hand. 12 EXT. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. F T A A13 INT. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. 13 INT. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. Bobby.
13 SCOTT Thank you. Julie.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.
...no.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment.. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. I've. SCOTT Me neither. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. 11. F KNIVES CHAU I mean. I heart them so much. KNIVES CHAU . Scott hugs her. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. 15 EXT. SCOTT Yeah. so whatever. SCOTT Sorry. But that’s just me. you were saying about me? 14 EXT. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SNOWY TORONTO STREET .I've never gone out with someone so talented. KNIVES CHAU Oh.
17 INT. . The light snowfall turns into sand..SCOTT WAKES UP... an army jacket.. Wind blows. You're just having some idiotic dream. SCOTT Here you go.. She wears fishnets..so.. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. She is hotter than the desert sun. 16 (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU Oh. Her pink hair is funky but cool...... 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands. rubbing his eyes. sitting up in the FUTON.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone. Wow. skirt and goggles. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God. Wow. okay. SCOTT Oh God.. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.Scott wanders alone through a barren land. But she's gone.so alone. THE DREAM DESERT . SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus.? .
WALLACE What is it. Other Scott goes back to sleep. F T A . WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested. WALLACE Speaking of new. OTHER VOICE Oh God. Scott opens the bathroom door. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. It was somebody new. SCOTT But there was this girl. 17 WALLACE What is it. it wasn’t her. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT... six in the morning. Scott? A scruffy. 22. SCOTT No.. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream. Wallace rubs his eyes.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. Sunlight ignites the room.
18 INT. THE LIBRARY .INTEGRATED FINAL 13A.DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Time slows to a crawl. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago.. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14.uh. SCOTT Uh..CA to the librarian.my hand slipped. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. Let’s talk about something else. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room.. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. I’ll be quieter. head still in the clouds.. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. (CONTINUED) . He carries a stack of books for Knives. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON.S.. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. SCOTT It was. KNIVES CHAU I’ll.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl.. STEPHEN STILLS (O.
Scott exits frame. man.. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. I thought you guys split... Scott's head is still in the clouds. 19 SCOTT Sorry. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . But. retard. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. F SCOTT Aw. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. SCOTT . Both have red plastic cups in hand. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. KIM PINE We're going to this party. JULIE'S HOUSE .. Kim Pine.. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. so..INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. there may be some label guys there. what are we doing? 20 EXT. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. This is going to suck. 21 INT.this sucks. you know.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. T SCOTT Ugh.
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 24.
Stephen Stills is with her. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. SCOTT Yeah. Comes into my work. Scott does not. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. JULIE She just moved here. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. .Flowers.. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. It’s so “Ramona Quimby.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. Got a job with Amazon. arms crossed. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. Now. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level.. Aged 8” and yet.
.yes.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. But I didn't want Scott to know that.. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Stephen. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE .
Ramona is out of your league. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. JULIE Whatever. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. . STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. let’s leave it at that. We hear the sound of arctic winds. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. I don't know what it is about that girl. He’s totally dating a high schooler. SCOTT looks to KIM. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. she justJULIE Scott. 22 SCOTT Yeah. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. me and Kim are all good now. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. whoa.
SCOTT I think she’s..... WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. Wallace storms in..NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah.. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. and hey! There she is. WALLACE You think he’s. Okay. WALLACE Library. 20.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway.. SCOTT So.. From my dream. WALLACE There he is. landing next to Scott. 23 WALLACE You guess right. WALLACE Girl. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup. WIDE awake. Wallace flops onto the futon. F T (CONTINUED) A . she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. I don't know what it is about that girl. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams. that girl..
Bye. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. Who told you? STACEY Duh. RINGY RING! Scott answers. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. who is out cold.. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.fake. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. 23 WALLACE Mmm. Wallace. B A STACEY Well. SCOTT Wait. I should send out a mass text about this.. friend.. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. cellphone in hand.. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. Wallace drifts off. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something.high school..girlfriend. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone.. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) ....up.. SCOTT What’s that? Break. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.
WALLACE Scott.Amazon. . It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon.THIS IS. SCOTT "Dear Mr.ca. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE ... Pilgrim. My name is Matthew Patel..this is. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool.. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah... This is.. Scott sits at Wallace's computer.) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright...” Scott walks to the front door. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon.!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring.hmm.S. Moments pass. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.ca... Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days.. 23 SCOTT Wallace.. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O....
WALLACE It's the weekend. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest. 23 SCOTT Maybe.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A.
.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. Scott JUMPS to his feet. Scott doesn't eat.DAY A . Uh huh.. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. SCOTT That's sucky. Knives chows down on a slice. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. 23 DINGY DONG... KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. 26 EXT. B 25 INT. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door. He plasters on his best fake smile. SONIC BOOM . his thoughts elsewhere. SCOTT Attack hug. out of sync. THE GOODWILL . still distracted. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. PIZZA PIZZA . Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. That’s cute.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy.
26 KNIVES CHAU .INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A.. B A F T A .but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek.. SCOTT I tell ya'.
Scott winces.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb. SCOTT Um. everybody.I.B. Scott tunes his bass..S... KNIVES CHAU Uh oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 24. NegaNinja.. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on.. staring out. his timing off. alone by the window. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen. Game. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. side by side.10. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show..2.... I think. Scott takes a deep breath.. Scott plays halfheartedly.9. A NEGANINJA .. but he messes up. On. 3. KNIVES CHAU (O. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up.1.. THE ARCADE .B..DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION.. And even better? It’s the T. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .. 28 INT. This is never easy.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off. Knives BURSTS into frame.. 27 INT.I think. The Rockit.squares up against Scott’s avatar. (CONTINUED) .8.. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives.
who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa.) Crash and the Boys.S. F Oh. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. She grabs Scott.) Oh my gosh.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. KNIVES CHAU (O.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. Knives can barely contain herself. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . man. Great. It’ll be the cool kids too... SCOTT Sure. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom.S. This guy at work was like "Steve.
) Yeah. . they suck.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A.) Oh my gosh. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.S. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.S.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.
. I was thinking about asking you out.MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right. Scott runs after her. He stares at himself in the mirror. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use.. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces.? 30 .a long. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. A (CONTINUED) .. around a corner. DINGY DONG.. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all.. but then I realized how stupid that would be.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. Scott exits the bathroom.. no.. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi.. I dreamt you were delivering me this package. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL .EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. that's okay... and you were in my dream.. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. SCOTT RAMONA No. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. BATHROOM . skating past Scott and down the hall. entering. 29 INT. um. RAMONA Um. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 30 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 26. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. it's just like.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. down a row of LOCKERS leading to. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door.
I mean. RAMONA You know. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. you'll leave. SCOTT So. SCOTT Okay well. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. RAMONA You still have to sign.. SCOTT But if I sign for it... can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. She gives him a pen.you need to sign for this. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. RAMONA Yeah. Noooooo. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. Not even. You’d be impressed. (CONTINUED) F T A .. Scott stands in awe of Ramona.. you're like American? RAMONA Why.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. right? I've lived here forever. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. That was some total ass. That's how it works. I was the other guy..
And throws the package straight in the trash.you know. PARK .. yeah. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28.my dream girl.. SCOTT Sorry. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom. RAMONA Well. RAMONA I need to find a new route.. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line.. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. 31 SCOTT You are like. I'm totally waiting on you. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. So. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them.. You assumed wrong. ..if that's cool. Oh.
RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs.... And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs. They sit on some swings in the park.. RAMONA This is good. RAMONA He’s.is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT This is good.. F SCOTT Is Gideon.a friend. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess.. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me.
SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. it’s certainly chilled here. RAMONA Yeah. Chilled as in cold. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed.. It’s weird. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. . B A Um.. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. SCOTT Well. RAMONA Uh.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30.
you’re probably not that stupid. 34 SCOTT It’s.. Ramona walks away. .. Wallace is pretty gay...INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. RAMONA Anyway... RAMONA Well. Ramona hops off her swing. SCOTT I feel so stupid. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually.. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. The snowfall gets heavier.. RAMONA This is ridiculous.. SCOTT So this is a 'date'. yeah.. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me.. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. Laughing. mostly stupid. RAMONA Dude. night’s not over yet. A Tongue. relax. I believe you. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. I can barely see you. no. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. You're too desperate to be gay.. SCOTT Yeah.
.. I’m blind. Help me. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . I. SCOTT A door? I. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. I can’t see you..
Scott and Ramona fall into blackness.. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. raspberry.S. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket. ginseng. T A (CONTINUED) .cold! RAMONA (O. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me.) Here. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime. green tea with lemon and honey.. Scott ventures upstairs. sleepytime. ginger without honey..NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. girl friendly apartment. constant comment and earl grey.. ginger with honey. 35 INT. What is that? B Ramona exits.very warm. SCOTT (O. He watches as she slips out of her coat. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK.. blueberry chamomile. I'm just. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . vanilla almond.S. After a moment alone. liver disaster.S. vanilla walnut. Pushing it open. green tea. does this help? SCOTT (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. He wanders towards a half open door.) AAAH! Sorry. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. white truffle. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing. Ramona opens the door. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt..) That's. green tea with lemon.
35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off.maybe we should both get under it.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33.. Scott takes his shirt off.. They tumble onto the bed and make out. You can sleep in my bed..... Ramona breaks off. Scott is in heaven. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott. RAMONA I changed my mind..since we're so cold.kay. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you.. A (CONTINUED) . revealing black panties to complement black bra.. smiling. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.kay.. Pilgrim..camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. They look into each others eyes.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess... SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh.not have tea. A Ohh.. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline. RAMONA Well.. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. F T SCOTT Maybe. Not right now.what about our tea? SCOTT I can..
RAMONA'S ROOM . WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks.oh.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. Please come.that was a joke.. So.. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. 35 SCOTT This is cool. Scott relaxes. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . Scott walking next to her. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. just this. Ramona is gone. RAMONA You're welcome. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT.. thanks.. we're terrible. Whatever this is. SCOTT Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. They exchange a smile. RAMONA I have to work. B A 37 EXT. . It's been like a really long time..I think I needed this. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah.. Ramona skates towards the front gate. I didn't even get any. and this is.
INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A. 37 RAMONA Sure. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
right back next to Scott. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. WALLACE Hey. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. STACEY Excuse my brother.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. reaching Scott at the bar.. STACEY And this is Wallace. . RAMONA Hey. SCOTT Oh.. THE ROCKIT . She hands him a note. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. 212 664-7665. his social skills vanish. his room-mate.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. Ramona is already skating far. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. hey! It’s tonight. Scott Pilgrim. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. Scott is so amazed at her presence. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. B A F T 38 INT. He’s chronically enfeebled. I’m Stacey. girl number. I did totally come. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. He stands with Wallace and Stacey.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. far away. Scott looks back up. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”.At The- “THE ROCKIT...
Scott scurries off. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. PROMOTER (O. wearing makeup and new clothes. THE ROCKIT.uh.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. People love us.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. He pushes her away. Knives looks kinda sexy. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. STILLS We were just on stage. To. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . 39 INT.. BACKSTAGE . wake up. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. Stacey stares at Scott. SCOTT I. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. The sound guy hated us. wake up. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. Scott’sScott goes white. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare.. Wallace stares at Jimmy.. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. Go.. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. For sound check. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. He didn’t even see Knives come in.
WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. and it's called "We Hate You. 40 INT. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. A41 INT. THE ROCKIT. Kim glowers.. Jimmy. STAGE . TRASHA. THE ROCKIT. and these are the Boys. Wallace yells from the balcony. You passed. WALLACE Jimmy. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . CRASH Thank you. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony.haven't started playing yet. gives Wallace the finger. WALLACE That was a test. BACKSTAGE . . TOO? CRASH Yes.04 seconds. STAGE . I am so very very sad. Please Die." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad.INTEGRATED FINAL 37. I am Crash. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up..CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. THE ROCKIT. 8 year old girl drummer. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening." And it goes a little something like this.
B A F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.
we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. BACKSTAGE . YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. Stacey turns to Ramona. 43 INT. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. BACKSTAGE . He's a friend. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience". STACEY So Knives. THE ROCKIT.. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever..um. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. THE ROCKIT. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. 41 INT. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. STAGE . BALCONY . The audience are stunned. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. He has so many friends. These guys are good..CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. THE ROCKIT.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. .. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT.
PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. F (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 39. THE ROCKIT.. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony. THE ROCKIT.yeah. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole. BALCONY . KNIVES CHAU Well.CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH.. THE ROCKIT..you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. STAGE . Scott nods vigorously.. So give it up for Sex.. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE.... 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT. staring at the stage. She faints in the excitement. ANGLE on Knives.. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. ONE. BACKSTAGE . TWO. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. sees Stacey talking to Knives.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face.you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. 45 INT.
SCOTT Thank you..begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. Pilgrim. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright... They land in THE PIT. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. Alright. Patel LANDS like a cat. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. Matthew Patel. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. Consider our fight. It is I. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. Pilgrim..
Scott blocks. Scott blocks. then holds his hand up for a time-out. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Patel punches. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A.
Scott evades and counter-attacks. Patel evades. We only kissed once. breathing heavy. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. After a week and a half. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. . 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. We were one hell of a team. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. in the seventh grade. all the little jocks wanted me. probably in the entire state.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. landing kicks and punches. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. then lands more punches. They pause. Scott looks up to Ramona. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. Scott jump-spins away from danger. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. I told him to hit the showers. Matthew was the only non-white. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. non-jock boy in school. They exchange furious blows.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.
T A (CONTINUED) . The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. It hits Patel square in the eyes. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. Scott dodges. POOF. wait. Maybe you’ll see. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. 47 SCOTT Dude. you’re not the brightest. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. He flips back onto the stage. SCOTT Open your eyes. Patel levitates into the air. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face.. dodging a third wave of fireballs. narrowly dodging the attack. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. Scott hits the ground. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. Scott rolls across the stage. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down.. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott.
SCOTT Sweet. He explodes into COINS. BALCONY . Coins. Passes Stacey. 47 K. They clatter to the stage floor.O! Scott punches Patel. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. 48 INT. THE ROCKIT.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. Scott lands and picks them up.
48 RAMONA Well... Ramona yanks Scott away. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. I guess.INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out.but he is long gone... clapping wildly from the balcony. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home.. Sex Bob-Omb wins. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. THE ROCKIT. PROMOTER Yeah. THE BUS . The Promotor ambles back onstage.. BALCONY . Tell your gay friends I said bye.. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott.CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives. Ramona takes a breath.. STAGE . RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT. 50 INT. $2. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. SCOTT Aw man.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. it was great meeting you.so like.40? That's not even enough for the bus home. who is being resuscitated by Tamara. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh..
Do you want to make out? Uh. right? I got to second base last night. And someone has a second date tonight. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. Scott bursts through the front door. yes. The studio audience 'awwww's. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ... . Scott kisses Ramona. I guess. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. SCOTT So.. A bleary Wallace fries bacon.maybe first and a half. I mean me. someone got to second base last night.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. SCOTT Well. 52 53 OMITTED INT. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's.. what you're saying is. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. The studio audience applauds.. a spring in his step. SCOTT Cool.
.. If you have a problem with it.you're. SCOTT But. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. Scott. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum..You have to break up with Knives.. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy..INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45.. T A . WALLACE Okay. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. so you can't be here tonight. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost..but. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives.. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. Scott. Today. I swear to God. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. WALLACE If you don't do it. hey.. F SCOTT But you. SCOTT You’re a monster.it's HARD. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine.. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. I don't want you gaying up the place.
(MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A.
DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. 46.is me pulling the trigger. bucko. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . KNIVES CHAU (O. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? .S. hey. I am stalking him later... do you want to. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. Surprising no one. Knives.okay. Wallace turns the television way up.. 54 EXT. SCOTT You suck. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. Um. B A Ummm.. SCOTT Oh. Uh... like. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. The one after that. SCOTT So. Hi. The next click is me hanging up.
It’s not my favorite.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. It's my birthday dinner.. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom.. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town. SCOTT And. 55 INT. KNIVES CHAU Oh... hey....and. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 47. pounding inside Scott's head.. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. just so bad. KNIVES CHAU No. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. B A SCOTT Uh. it's okay. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder. Chinese food? Yeah. Well. SONIC BOOM .are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. SCOTT Like.. to meet my parents.I think that's a really bad idea. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah.. T (CONTINUED) A . really.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. Like. I'm in.
I was thinking we should break up or whatever. 55 Knives is so smitten.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A. listen. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop. Scott brushes it away.. SCOTT Um. the word actually appears onscreen..
Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune... thanks. Kim and Stills share a look. No. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles.. I meant scum of the earth. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs.. a little happier.. thinking about Knives.it's not going to work out. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2.. We broke up.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. KIM PINE Scott.. Oh.EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. SCOTT Aw.you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. 56 INT. SCOTT Aw. YOUNG NEIL You... CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. leaving Knives in the aisle.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone. 56 57 INT/EXT. thanks. you are the salt of the earth. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . her funky pink hair. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. 57 SCOTT Oh. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. in shock. KIM PINE Wait..um. thinks of something happier.
This is sudden death now. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. Kim. Kim mimes shooting herself. this is Stephen Stills.. B A Scott ushers her in. SCOTT It’s all blue. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. RAMONA Yes. weirded out by this hair development. that’s. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. Young Neil. new or new-new.. but don’t worry. 57 SCOTT Yeah. I just dyed it. Like you said.. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. whether they’re old.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. We were lucky to survive that last round. RAMONA Hey everyone. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. RAMONA Yeah. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. now sporting BLUE HAIR... no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice.you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) ..
INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. YOUNG NEIL . I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. what about rehearsal? 58 INT.uh.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school... Good. Ramona goes to the bathroom. See you guys tomorrow. KIM PINE Believe it or not. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. Cool. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. Get used to it.. Scott drops the act. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . STEPHEN STILLS Uh. Scott fake laughs. reading a magazine. KIM PINE Yeah. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. I actually dated Scott in high school.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. preparing food as Wallace looks on. good. SCOTT Okay. 58 Ramona lounges. dude. Starts ushering Ramona out again. He’s an idiot. SCOTT She changed her hair.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area..
INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue.
Oh my god. SCOTT Don’t go.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. picnic style. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. with a panicked whisper. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. if you strike out in the next hour. come find me at the Castle. “when”. Scott stops Wallace at the door. Good. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. 58 SCOTT I know. She’s spontaneous. See you in sixty. Ramona returns. Wallace pulls on a jacket. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. A (CONTINUED) . Fickle. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. Impulsive. good.
Ra-ra-ra. Ra-mona. RAMONA You'd get fat. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. A (CONTINUED) . B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. Ooooh. SCOTT No. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Ra-mona. Mona. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. Ra-ra-ra. Mona. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. Ra-mona. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Ramona is taken aback. it goes like this: Ra-mona. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. Or just all the time without even stopping.
I can barely remember it. SCOTT Not really. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. Then. she told me it was mutual. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago... But it’s so long ago. It was brutal. NARRATOR It wasn’t..she stopped liking me. No. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her.. Earl Jones deep. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. It was. three hours before his big breakup. RAMONA Your hair is cute. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. NARRATOR She dumped him.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. But she stopped liking that name.. It’s just that I got. sorry. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. T A . I like it long. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears.. 58 SCOTT Ha.. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in.. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time.. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.
long handrail between them.. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. Putting one leg in front of the other. every drug. RAMONA Oh. 59 EXT. in which case I do drugs all the time. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk.. They’re shooting this movie up here. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. as if crossing a magical line. I just love me some walking. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. Not that I do drugs. T A SCOTT Nooo. Things seem a little brighter around you or something.I don't know.heightened.you make me feel.. I just. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. ENDLESS STAIRWAY .INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. unless you do. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. but.. F SCOTT Yeah.. I don’t know.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. bright movie set lights. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. Let’s find out.. . a castle surrounded by big. who? SCOTT I forget.
Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer.D. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. Mr. RAMONA Oh. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. 60 EXT. CASA LOMA . We gotta go. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). He skates towards the set.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. T (CONTINUED) A . RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. B A What? Why? Slut.INTEGRATED FINAL 55. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. doing kickflips. RAMONA Ooh. I am not a slut. The spectators go “oooh”. including Wallace. man. FIRST A. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee.
I just remember there being lots of drama.... SCOTT Oh. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode. who remains oblivious.God. Actually.you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade. LUCAS LEE Action. . 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56.. it might have been math. RAMONA He just followed me around. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass.. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey.. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. We had drama.. SCOTT .. He was a little snot nosed brat. who gasps.my.
B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. crumbling it. . Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. flooring him. Fight. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. He nods to Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. wobbly. How’s life? He seems nice. WALLACE Scott. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. Evil ex. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again.
60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. LUCAS LEE He’s good. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. A . smirking on the sidelines. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O..) Mr. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. hey. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. Tae Kwon Doe style.. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing.S. Suddenly.. Lucas Lee wanders off. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. SCOTT Hey. SCOTT (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. Scott stands to fight the double. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. all identically dressed. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Scott staggers to his feet. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble.) Looks like you’re seeing double.. punchy. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground.S. He slides across the wet-down ground. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie.
Lucas stomps over to him. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. preparing for the deathblow. bro. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. shocked to see Scott. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm.. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh...no.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. SCOTT You’re needed back on set.. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. Scott goes to shake it. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK... in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. framed through the torn skyline. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. . SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. Lucas offers a hand. Let’s get a beer. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. 60 Lucas turns. LUCAS LEE Prepare. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. well then don't worry about it. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop.
. SCOTT Hey. SCOTT Wow. ese. a perfect ollie onto the rail. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good... I have my own skate company. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. SCOTT So you can sell them.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Lucas pulls down his shirt. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. very impressed at Lucas. bro. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. F T A (CONTINUED) . WALLACE Hi. impressed at Lucas. HSSSSSSSSS. if it’s too hardcore. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. Big fan. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. revealing a skate company tattoo. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard.... sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL..
. 60 SCOTT Wow. WALLACE Wow. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph. HSSSSSSSSS.. Scott smacks his forehead. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. he totally bailed.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A.
It was right under your nose. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. RAMONA is not available. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously.that’s a wrap everybody. A Scott slumps on the couch. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's.D. phone pressed to his ear. she totally bailed. you said that last night. 60 FIRST A.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. T SCOTT Hey. Scott Pilgrim. Scott again.. . 61 INT. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. It’s me. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. Call me back. please record your message after the beep. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). 212 664-7665. Uh.. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS.
Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. Step up your game. you have to fight for it. WALLACE If you want something bad. Either way. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. You have the spirit of a warrior.. guy. Scott. then you have to let her know. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. I need you to move out. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. Look.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. RINGY RING.. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . Scott picks up. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. A SEXY. Scott slides to the floor.S. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. Break out the L-word. VOICE (O.) Hey Scott. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. completely shocked at this bombshell. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. it’s “love”. if she’s really the girl of your dreams.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
Prepare to die. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. She spins to face Scott. technically this is not a nightmare. obviously. but I just cashed my last raincheck. . SCOTT Wait. SHWAA . He’s pissed now. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. T SCOTT Listen. I’ve had it today.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. darlin’.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. 62 SHFFF . A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. Hits SOMETHING. SCOTT Okay. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet.
DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . BLOOR STREET . SCOTT Well. dialing Stacey frantically. Scott looks to the sky.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A.S. it’s Scott.the Mystery Attacker vanishes.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. then I’ll see you later. STACEY (O. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. It’s actually me. SCOTT It’s Scott. STACEY (O. Someone help me. baffled.S. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. I’m really. really not up for this. But you won’t see me. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . Scott is in his usual payphone. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. Whatever it is. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. SCOTT Oh man.
) I’m literally about to leave.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. I’m coming in. Stacey has her back turned. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. 63 STACEY (O. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter.S. not happy. (CONTINUED) . revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside. Scott turns back to Julie. THE SECOND CUP . Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. Are you still working? 65. SCOTT Cool. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. mouthing that she has to go. And by the way. Stacey turns around. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT.
B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. No biggie. She looks at the floor. RAMONA Yeah." The icy. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. I do that. You kind of disappeared. SCOTT Yeah. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into.. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. I know it's early days. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. I want to hang.. "ENVY ADAMS. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. They share an awkward moment.. Listen. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott.. SCOTT No.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. A .the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. 23. (CONTINUED) A Exes. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. No.
Ramona goes to order coffee. leaving Envy to fix on Scott.. ENVY Great. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. . SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. We’re playing Lee’s Palace.excuse me. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. You’re so on the list. ENVY Okay. I know. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. You guys should like.. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. so totally come. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. I’m jealous. RAMONA I’m gonna. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67.
. Having the past come back to haunt you. 65 EXT. 65 SCOTT No. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah.. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. F T RAMONA So.that was Nat? . you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend..INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. that was Envy. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So. SCOTT I can see how it sucks.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists.. That didn’t end well either. Ramona returns. sipping their coffees. How. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. RAMONA And two weeks later. That. This guy Todd. About.
65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A.
A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. SCOTT Double negative. Ramona stops and kisses him. From this moment on. SCOTT Right.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. Ramona lounges on the couch. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE ..INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. B A Word. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. Scott and Young Neil. Tricky. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . 66 Scott stands (no pants). Music swells..DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. 66 INT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Mm. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. Move on.
INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. And Envy asked us to open for them. The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . STEPHEN STILLS No.
A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. We need groundswell. We need to get some buzz going. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do... 67 SCOTT I hate you. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. for the band? For the band. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. DRUG SMART . STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face.EVENING B A Yeah. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. . KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. You know. Is a gig. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. We need stalkers. pressed against the window. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward.
KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. 68A INT. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA. This is all her fault. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. (CONTINUED) ..INTEGRATED FINAL 71. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young.so good. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. eyes narrowing. this really burns. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool..EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair.I look so. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. so he tried to find someone cool but old.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara... KNIVES’ BATHROOM . looking sexy. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl. Knives throws a long scarf on.
CONTINUOUS A 70 . Tamara pops into frame. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. Bar. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. LEE'S PALACE .NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. Ramona excuses herself. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. PUSH into Knives. Now. We were Sex Bob-Omb. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. LEE’S PALACE . The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. But I know how to get him back. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. LEE’S PALACE . 71 71 INT. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. as she plots. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. drunk. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you.Sold out’. She knows we suck.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. F T 70 INT. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back.
looking hot. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. Briefly. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. LEE'S PALACE. 17. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. Or is it. SCOTT Briefly. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. RAMONA Hey. 72 INT. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. Knives follows. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. F T . RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. LADIES BATHROOM . "KNIVES CHAU. clothes and makeup. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. standing next to Ramona. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. confused.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together.. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back.. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. LEE'S PALACE .
Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. EVIL-EX #3.MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. Pee time. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. 75 INT.. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her.. LEE’S PALACE . You know? Oh yeah. A I know. LEE’S PALACE. no longer shrouded in dry ice. striking ROCK GOD figure. ENVY in a long black coat. he cuts a handsome. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. I gotta pee. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. Envy lets her coat slip off.. (CONTINUED) . MENS BATHROOM . Stares at Scott. He’s alone. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd. 25. revealing a stunning figure.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. "TODD INGRAM.” and “Who... Oh yeah. (sing songy) Peee time.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. Knives screams her teen brains out. (turns beet red) I mean.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74..
LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors. LEE'S PALACE . 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A.
YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. Envy. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. RAMONA Hey Todd. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. Oh. Everyone else feels. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona.. RAMONA Mmm hmm. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. LEE’S PALACE. Just oh my God.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. Envy burns a hole through Scott. They’re so much better live.. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. you have to see them live. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. YOUNG NEIL Man.“AWKWARD”. TODD INGRAM Been a while. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage.
ENVY I was just there. KNIVES CHAU Um. Stephen... Did you get those jeans in New York. ENVY Just saying. it’s not something I can really put into words. Envy. you know? You suit each other. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple.Envy? I read your blog.. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here.. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. ENVY So. I like your outfit Ramona. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. in general? T A . cute couple. You know him. JULIE Ramona lived in New York. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say.
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A. 77 Scott looks at Ramona.Knives stands up. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A . She is about to answer when...
Her. Her hair is black and plain as before.. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. ENVY You’re incorrigible.your hair. TODD INGRAM That’s right. Out... Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid..yy. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. Hair. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. 77 Envy nods at Todd. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet. Of.. JULIE So.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. Scott boils. Scott hovers. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal.. I’m a rock star. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. Todd sits back down like nothing happened. grasping his neck. Young Neil escorts Knives out.my neck. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. choking.. SCOTT KK.. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. Todd smirks.
TODD INGRAM Bingo. A (CONTINUED) .vegan. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. SCOTT If I peed my pants. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. He moans in pain.. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. He tries to keep cool.. despite being in a lot of pain. Scott sails out of shot and into space.. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. While the others bicker. question. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. SCOTT No kidding. if you knew the science. I always wondered. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. Ramona helps Scott to his feet.. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people.anyone can be.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. 77 RAMONA It’s not raining.
77 SCOTT Oh.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. A brief. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. I guess that’s not very nice.. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona.O.O. We wrecked stuff.like that. RAMONA (V.) We hated everyone.) He punched a hole in the moon for me.O. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79.O. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. Nobody cared. It’s part of the reason I moved here. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. RAMONA (V. Nobody cares. RAMONA (V. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon.. It was pretty crazy. so I dumped him. It’s pretty crazy. RAMONA Look. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd.) A week and a half later. but I used to be kind of. RAMONA (V. A (CONTINUED) .
.. She dusts. I and he! Scott stands up . Stills calls through the hole. Scott CHARGES at Todd.. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice.cleans up.. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business.Monday. TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. so.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80.. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) .dislike you. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you.. SCOTT He and me. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday.. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. call us when you’re done.. T SCOTT A SCOTT I. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona .. SCOTT You used to be so. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off.nice! F Um.. And the cleaning lady.sort of ready for another round.. B A SCOTT Sorry. Right? ENVY Basically.ready for another round. We hear a distant CRUMP..dust.
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. 77 ENVY Oh. he’ll be done real soon. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Scott turns around on his knees. The good one. wicked. Suddenly. 79 (CONTINUED) . RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. I know. Crummy way to end things. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. Todd LEVITATES. shredding him into oblivion. picking the hell out of his bass. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. Todd calls to a roadie.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. Pilgrim. Your bass hand is badly injured. He hovers next to him. floating towards Scott with his bass. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. LEE’S PALACE. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. baby. cringing. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. Todd floats toward him. 78 INT. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. ENVY Sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. You’re through. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. Envy grins at Ramona. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. LEE'S PALACE . I actually know how to play bass. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. fauxhawk rising. amp pegged to 10. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. savoring the kill.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 79 ENVY I’m sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. but that's pathetic.
imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. on February 1st. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. SCOTT Actually. no vegan powers. tool. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. you knowingly ingested Gelato. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. You know. A . 7:30 p. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. bitch. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. Thanks. I poured soy in this cup. Todd floats to the ground. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. in my mind's eye or whatever. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th.m. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. takes one of the cups and drinks.m. I'll take the one with soy.. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book.
79 Envy gasps. I know. SCOTT Maybe they should. Julie pops into shot. jaw ajar. Now let’s get out of here. F SCOTT Uh. disgusted. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. Ramona follows. shooting Envy a look on the way out. Envy blinks.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. Natalie. (CONTINUED) . but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. Envy stares. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. sorry I guess.. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. in shock. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down.. So I guess we’re even.
Stills coughs.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. on the fringes. WALLACE Envy Adams. And hot.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb.oh. Ramona and Scott.. Julie. KIM PINE Then why would we. ENVY Shut the fuck up. PIZZA PIZZA . I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. 79 JULIE For the record. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. A (CONTINUED) . 80 INT. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. That Todd guy was cool too. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. It’s an odd mood. I liked him. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh.. I am so pissed off for you right now.
lagging behind. WALLACE I mean. Scott limps a bit. Hey. B 81 EXT. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. not with fists. So let’s go. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. Oh. Yet. Scott takes another bite.. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. we can totally go. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. AFTER PARTY .. Ramona falls back with him. He shrugs. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge.NIGHT A Oh. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. Ooh. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. so.
81 SCOTT No.? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . It’s justRAMONA It’s just. I’m fine.. I’m fine..INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
82 ROXY Oh boy. If Gideon can’t have you. SCOTT What. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. does she know me.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. B A ROXY Well honey. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North.. The League hath spoken. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. Roxy flips out of the hold. 23...she. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you.” RAMONA It was just a phase. The girls square off.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. no one can. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious. clearing the busy dance floor.. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here... ROXY Back off hasbian.is. F T A (CONTINUED) .
With blinding speed. She BLOCKS with the hammer. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. Ramona. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. This is a League game. ROXY Give it a rest. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. you slag. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. this is live? Uh huh. It smashes a speaker. leaving a dent in it. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. RAMONA Believe it. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. He’s a creep. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. F WALLACE Oh yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. The belt wraps around it. Sound on one side of the room cuts out.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Or possibly feet.
. Some sooner than others.. She grins at Ramona. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. .F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms.be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. They’re soft.. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. kicking them apart with the splits. RAMONA Whenever we were making out. (CONTINUED) B A Okay.. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. ROXY Fight your own battles. He lands HARD on the floor. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B.. still in the splits. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. Roxy falls. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. winces.never. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. She staggers..INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl.
People text furiously and point fingers at Scott. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. 82 The party starts up again. a wave of gossip spreading around the room.
. She touches her hair. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. The gossip echoes around them. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. SCOTT Only on special occasions. RAMONA I really think we should split. RAMONA Sooooo. T A (CONTINUED) . Scott has already downed his second drink. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. Ramona follows tentatively. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. Ramona tries to lighten things.. Looks hurt.
82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A.
RAMONA (CONT’D) P. Ramona leaves. Here’s your stupid list.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . RAMONA Dirty laundry.S. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops.. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. Ramona exits proper. A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. INGRAM. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. You. LEE. It reads“PATEL.Ramona returns. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. I thought you might be more understanding.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. GIDEON.” 83 INT. RICHTER. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. In fact I’m sick of it. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes.NIGHT B A But then . Scott looks at the list. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. You’re drunk. KATAYANAGI TWINS. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A. She’s totally here. 85 KIM PINE Oh.
) They brought the house down. Scott turns bleak again.. She is totally there. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. KEN KATAYANAGI.. 23. SNOW falls onto the stage. Scott and Stills get into battle position... B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. Scott.. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. is serious and very Japanese. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. leaving a huge hole in the roof. The crowd cheers. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. (CONTINUED) . She looks happy..INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. 23. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right. KYLE KATAYANAGI. is very serious and Japanese. we can do this.. Can we do this? I mean.S. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear.. They are chatting. Now an open air venue.
who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. T A (CONTINUED) . They share a nod. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. We’re done. SCOTT Alright. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. 37.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. SCOTT Gideon. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music.. He struggles to his feet. ASSHOLE. Kyle looks at Ken. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. This is GIDEON GRAVES. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. they sound awesome. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. Scott. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN.. For once. comes in heavy on the kick drum. then helps Kim up. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves.
. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. different. I’m not even stalking you. 86 EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. THE NINTH CIRCLE .NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. Scott follows.. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.was epic. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. but she and Gideon are gone. RAMONA Yeah. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show.. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. SCOTT You seem. SCOTT Ramona. hovering next to Scott.. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. SCOTT Getting a life. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. Knives watches him go. What are you doing? . Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. The crowd goes bazooky... He can’t find Ramona. eyes narrowing. I have something I need to tell you. different. SCOTT Ramona.
Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. . I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. And I want you to know. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. really mean it. Listen. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. I don’t care about any of that stuff.
SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind.I can’t help myself around him. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal.. A (CONTINUED) . VOICE (O. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. Scott glowers.) That’s the bad news.S. The Lincoln parks.. B A Bob-omb. I just. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. 86 RAMONA Oh.it's not going to work out.. A driver opens the passenger door. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. GIDEON GRAVES You know. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. Scottie. captioned “PEE”. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. Oh okay. Okay. Stills is ga-ga. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow.. T RAMONA It’s Gideon.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs.. Ramona looks at the floor.. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A.
Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. bass in hand. Scott. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. Scott stands alone. we should really be thanking each other. I mean. she wouldn’t be back with me. A meek Young Neil slides into view. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. There are hand shakes all round. can I just say. A . Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. keep your emotions in check. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. GIDEON Oh and Scott. before trying to hand it back to Scott. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. if it wasn’t for me. GIDEON And hey. buddy. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. SCOTT Nuh-uh. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. A cough. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. Kim shrugs and signs it too. you would have never been with Ramona. So I guess it all shakes out. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. but if it wasn’t for you. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us.
INTEGRATED FINAL 100A.. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN . 87 INT...NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone.. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. thinking about Ramona.... Scott tries desperately to think positive. A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona.
NIGHT Scott enters. Scott looks at the camera. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. Stacey heads off. little brother. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. Gets a shock. SCOTT Seven. Night turns to day. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. STACEY Time heals all wounds. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. 88 B A STACEY Oh. 88 INT. Well that’s not so bad. Flicks the light on..) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. “THONK”.. gives Scott a hug.S. Over PITCH BLACK. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends. F T A STACEY (O. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. Day turns to night.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings..S. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . THE PARK . Scott remains in the exact same position. staring straight ahead..
That sucks. For sex. you know I love you. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . But I need my own bed tonight.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. SCOTT And the year. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott. A Right. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. wrapped in a blanket.S.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O.S. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. WALLACE Ah.) It’s Chris.S.) Sorry. Scott sits in the chair.) Or someone. 89 INT. SCOTT (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102. 88 WALLACE (O. I get it. WALLACE (O.S. and I apologize for that. VOICE (O. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. it’s probably just because he’s better than you. T .S.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). But you know. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too. Right.) It’s Chris.
INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair. Scott nods. 89 Scott nods. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. SCOTT (O. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. I think this fight is over.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. 91 (CONTINUED) . WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT RINGY RING. INT. it’s gonna be alright. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. Scott stares at the phone.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No.S. I don’t want any hard feelings. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. Some guy picks up. GIDEON'S LAIR . F GIDEON GRAVES (O. He calls off.S. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know.S.) Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103.) Hey. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. pal. 89 WALLACE Either way. Scott nods. T A Thanks.
Finish him. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. alarmed. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. HIPSTER KID Cool. 92 EXT. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. B Password? Scott shrugs. Click. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. STREETS OF TORONTO . I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. amigo. Whatever. Scott turns. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O.S.S. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters.) What a perfect asshole. leaning against a warehouse wall.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing.) I hope so.S) Sure you did. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. SCOTT Mm. What do you say? . Maybe I’ll see you there. Well as you know.
Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. WAREHOUSE . HIPSTER KID Cool. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. B A F T A . 93 INT. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. Scott steps into the elevator.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. So far so good.
now using SWEET BRAND amps. SCOTT What if I have a beef. COMEAU holds court among them. YOUNG NEIL on bass.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT.S. Chuck Taylors.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. skinny jeans. Ramona kneels at his side.. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you..the CHAOS THEATRE. They are legion. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go.. wearing identical outfits. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. their first album is so much better than their first album.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. Don’t give him the satisfaction.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. CHAOS THEATRE . (CONTINUED) .. 94 INT. COMEAU Yeah. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. STEPHEN STILLS Well. looking up at his former bandmates. then you’re doomed.
GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. Scott gets into a fighting stance. Ramona looks away from Scott. buddy. I’m in love with her. (CONTINUED) .. Gideon smiles.. League. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. It’s ancient history..) Scott earned the power of love. flexes. NARRATOR (V.buddy.O. Gideon stands up. A new power comes over Scott.. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. whatever. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. Gideon loses his cool. Ramona and Scott lock eyes.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106.
) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. Scott looks to Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. exploding each attacker into COINS. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. rolling to a stop. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. She lands awkwardly. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. KNIVES CHAU (O. Scott hits the ground HARD. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle.. both concerned and amazed. and sell out and stuff. (CONTINUED) .. “KNIVES CHAU. Gideon chuckles. He slashes at them to the beat. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. ON BEAT.S. Gideon raises his sword.. Gideon approaches. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD..Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. My cane. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. SCOTT Your club sucks. by the way. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. we are here to make money. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. to administer a final blow. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. Then from above. 18 YEARS OLD.
He was warned plenty of times. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. throwing blocks and punches. I didn’t steal anyone. distracted by his duelling exes. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. T A (CONTINUED) . Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. KUNG FU STYLE. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. separating them. Kung Pao Chicken. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you.
. Knives. . RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat.... GIDEON (O.S. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott. Okay? (beat) I mean. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind. neither amused. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives... 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie... but.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.Scott's eyes blink open.. THE DREAM DESERT .death. but you can’t. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY.. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground. With you..maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white.SAND blows through frame. You can cheat on these ladies all you want.. rubbing his temples....cheat..DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us. 95 EXT.
95 SCOTT Ugh. Ramona appears out of nowhere.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. fainter than before. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. I mean. he literally has a way of getting into my head. Seeing as I’m about to die. the truth is.. and that’s when he started paying attention. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry.. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. maybe now would be the time to get into it.. I really will leave you alone forever now...INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. it was me who was obsessed. SCOTT That is evil. that’s legitimately disappointing.. But he ignored me. eh? B A SCOTT Well. Ramona covers the chip. has a way of getting into my head. He just. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. That’s why I had to leave. RAMONA No. Dying probably sucks. self-consciously touching her hair. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. SCOTT Well. I was crazy about him. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. Scott. RAMONA He’s like that. RAMONA Alright.
T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. He flicks the light on.. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. Scott slumps to his knees.. DA-DING.so alone. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. RAMONA Uh-huh. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ....INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. 96 INT.. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. Ramona is gone. as Scott enters. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD. We had a good run. I guess. SCOTT So. I really fought for you back there. A Ahhhhhh. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you. SCOTT . 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. SCOTT I feel like I learned something.. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. The winds blow harder.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. . Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. Ramona seeming to fade away. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I was living in an ordinary world. GIDEON GRAVES (O. a call I considered refusing. SCOTT Wallace. enemies. hands him the phone. GIDEON GRAVES (O. WALLACE (O. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. But my Mentor. allies. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling.) Sure thing.) Scott..) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. during which I totally seized the sword.S.. Chaos Theatre.S. 96 SCOTT . So I did. I need to ask one final favor of you.) F T A (CONTINUED) . when my journey began. I don’t want any hard feelings. B A Um. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. There were tests. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. Gideon Graves. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. On PITCH BLACK.) Again? WALLACE (O. that’s you.. I feel terrible about everything. Sadly.. But before I do that.S..S. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. I died..S.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. pal. guy.
hardcore. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. sorry. exposing his junk. Scott hangs up and heads for the door.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. 96 SCOTT Sorry. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott.
You guys sound better without me. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . I know what I’m doing. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. From this point forward.. 98 INT. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me.. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. STREETS OF TORONTO . SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. WAREHOUSE . Stephen.. SCOTT Don’t worry. Young Neil? You have learned well. CHAOS THEATRE .AGAIN. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. COMEAU Yeah.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. 96 SCOTT You seen one. deadpan as ever.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. knocking them out.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. the new line-up rocks... you shall be known as “Neil”. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE. Kim shrugs.everything. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. 99 INT. 97 EXT..
99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Ramona and Scott lock eyes. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. Scott goes straight into fight mode.. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O.. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. I have beef. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. the club sucks. He unsheathes his SWORD. You’re pretentious. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. LEAPING in the air. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. exploding each attacker into COINS. My cane. let’s do it. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V.S. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. different than before. A strange new power overcomes Scott. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. Ramona at his side. backs to each other. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. They land on opposite sides of the platform.I want to fight you for me. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.O. T SCOTT No.
apparently. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. Scott calls out. 99 Gideon falls down. Dead.
Knives pulling KNIVES. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. She kicks him in the face. SCOTT (CONT'D) And.. SCOTT No. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. hands held out. Scott jumps between them. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. I was a different guy back then. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No.S. bloodied. Scott GRABS her wrists. RAMONA Never felt better. And I’m sorry. All turn to see GIDEON. stunned. taste my steel. The CHIP no longer blinks. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. but still grinning..) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. So. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. She didn’t mean that. Ramona rubs the back of her head. I cheated on you. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. Knives. I hurt you. Knives steps back. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD.you're not a fat ass. Scott turns to Ramona. They square off. GIDEON GRAVES (O. Ramona staggered.
then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. the three of them ready to rumble. Scott steps into a fighting stance. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 SCOTT Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. GIDEON Ramona. you got a fight alright. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. Knives joins him.
Ramona KICKS. He grins.his glasses glow. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. disarms Scott with one move. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. Gideon BLOCKS. SCOTT ATTACKS.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Knives attacks and scores a hit. Knives and Ramona. Scott ducks. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. his HEALTH BAR increases. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. Gideon hits her back. Scott leaps in the air. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. They CLASH in the air. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. Gideon BLOCKS. expecting her to move. Knives throws her knives. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. They fence. Gideon spins low. He shakes off the assault and grins. He cuts big arcs at Scott. baby. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. She looks doubtful. Gideon spins again and swings upward. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. You’re still my girl. dropping her. takes a hesitant step towards him. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . knocking her down. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. Gideon jumps after him. They barely dodge him. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. Gideon swings at Scott. . The swords create an “X”. Knives whips off her scarf.
From the floor.. Me? I’m what’s hip. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. Knives and Scott share a look. she kicks him in the back of the head. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. You’re zero. defeated. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees.. I’m blowing up right now. 99 Scott lands hard. She lands painfully at the bottom. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. One lens of his glasses cracks. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. They Get up and circle Gideon. (CONTINUED) . Not long now. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. sending him spinning. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. I’m what’s happening. A pain in my ass. You’re nothing.
The coin rain continues. You are blowing up. RAMONA (O.. right? Kim points to the falling coins. KIM PINE There goes our deal. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. Oh. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. And you got another thing right. makes her way towards them. They share a smile. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. Right now.) You two make a good combo.. awake now. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. Scott and Knives kiss. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal.. Ramona.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) . silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. Gideon’s head EXPLODES. 99 SCOTT You’re right..
worried for Scott.yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. He’s a super-nice guy. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. nothing.. We actually have a lot in common. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) .. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. The glasses GLIMMER. Scott and Negascott face off. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. Evil face. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. Knives and Ramona.S. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. shake hands and part ways. They chat amiably.... We just shot the shit. Both take a step forward.. They look expectantly at the entrance. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. Fringed hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118.) You can defeat me. SCOTT No. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. Dark clothes. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. Then.. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face.. THE WAREHOUSE ... KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. This is something I have to face on my own. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes.but can you defeat.
104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A.
He turns to see her. but the past keeps catching up. B A RAMONA It's hard. hoping to slip away. F T Scott calls after her. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. Ramona sees this and smiles. literally taking his guard down. Where are you going? Ramona. you know? I came here to get away. RAMONA I dunno. then realizes Ramona has gone. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. Snow begins to fall. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it... though. RAMONA I should tahnk you. I should probably disappear. SCOTT I think I understand. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . stops and turns back. SCOTT Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. You do? Scott smiles. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. Steps tentatively away from Knives.
then hearsKNIVES (O. You’ve been fighting for her all along. T Surprised.Nega Scott also sidles into frame.. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. Knives doesn’t look back. We hear a 2ND COUGH .S.. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine.. I’m too cool for you anyway. A (CONTINUED) . 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. RAMONA Well. Scott watches. Before she’s gone. Ramona walks on into the night alone. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A.) Hey.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her.. F KNIVES You earned it.) Go get her. She turns to walk off again. Guitar still in hand. Bye and stuff. then lets it drop. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives. SCOTT Yeah. but thenSCOTT (O. She takes his hand briefly. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. And stuff. We hear a COUGH . KNIVES There’s someone out there for me.
.4.. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier.2. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater.8.O. winter turning to spring.. try again? Ramona smiles... standing right in the middle of the street. A We see the door with the star on it. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could... Literally.) Oh my God..... ..) Oh my God.. snow swirling around it. A STACEY (V. night magically turning to day.O. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door.. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside. It was unbelievable.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B. Scott takes it...6. it was a HUGE fight.9. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off. I mean bananas. it was apparently awesome. Yeah.7. sunrise coming up over Toronto. T Over this magical transformation.. Someone seriously should have been filming it..3. CONTINUE? 10.. F JULIE (V. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door... Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars..5.1.
105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 120.
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue listening from where you left off, or restart the preview.