Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley



by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall

WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010

Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.



EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?



INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.


KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?

SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!

YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?

SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?



STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.








1A. 2

SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.






S. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. 22 YEARS OLD. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So.. . KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. Scott grins heroically. sits next to her mother." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. Scott winks at Knives. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. 2 KIM PINE Well....) Hey. Knives crouches down to pick up her books. 17.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. books scattering everywhere. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. She's Chinese. RATING: AWESOME. THE BUS . cute and innocent with clothes to match. SCOTT (O. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. grumbling.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. Scott winks at the camera. demanding. MOTHER CHAU. 45. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT.

STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .DAY Back in the kitchen. everyone looks at Scott. KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A ... 4 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 2A.

STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. I want her to geek out on us. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. 4 SCOTT Yes. He's the talent. Please be good. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. man. 5 INT/EXT. this is Stephen Stills. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. B A Hey. SCOTT She’ll geek. hey. Let it be soon. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. Scott opens the door a crack. Knives.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. It is. SCOTT Oh. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . Scott smiles broadly.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. really. She has the capacity to geek. She geeks. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.

F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi.S. LAME BRAND amps.. drums. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives. wow. YOUNG NEIL Oh. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil.Zelda... guitar. SCOTT Knives.Tetris.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. that’s Young Neil. 6 INT. ratty rug. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. who finally gets it. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. I just live here. sticks in her hands.. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset.. KNIVES CHAU Wow.. Knives waves.that’s kind of a big question.DAY Knives enters. I’m not in the band. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. sorry. that’s Kim. bass.yes. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. Lemme get your coat. KNIVES CHAU Hi.. Amps hum to life. . 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good.

F (CONTINUED) .Sex Bob-Omb. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like. 8 INT.are so. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys.. The song ends... STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. if your life had a face I would punch it. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5. jaw ajar.wait. Amazing. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus. Yeaaah. Kim... SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. KNIVES CHAU I can't even. Knives watches. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE.amazing. SCOTT B A Yeaaah. BUS STOP .. 7 EXT.. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott. what? KIM PINE I mean.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room... do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended. feedback lingering. SCOTT Yeaaah..

. you were saying she seems awesome. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. WALLACE Yeah.. 24 YEARS OLD. I'm dating a 17 year old.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . arched eyebrow. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. Kim. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. FUTON included. dark hair. ha. she seems awesome.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. SCOTT Yeaaaah. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. "WALLACE WELLS. The whole seventeen year old thing. Don’t tell too many people. SCOTT So. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. one room apartment. You're totally my bitch forever. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. ha. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. SCOTT Neil. . disloyal. ROOMMATE. turns to Young Neil. yes. ha.


19. starts texting. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM.) You know me. Don’t tell my sister. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. WALLACE You know me. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. Scott sinks into an armchair. Scott picks up. WALLACE (O. SCOTT That’s not true.S. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. peppy barista. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. Knives Chau. cute. 9 SCOTT I mean." A STACEY (O.S.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . YOUNGER SISTER. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. The phone goes. you will not be served”. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. Duh.

Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. Scott. the whole deal... F T A SCOTT I don't know. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. SCOTT Well. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . are you legitimately moving on. WALLACE I hate’s just nice.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. We haven’t even held hands...simple. SCOTT This school has boys too.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. Uniformed boys and girls pour out.. (CONTINUED) . or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly... Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. At all. so I wouldn't call it dating. 10 EXT.. more like. you know? It's just. I think she hugged me once. STACEY Um. STACEY Oh my God. you haven’tSCOTT No no no. STACEY (CONT’D) So. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. 9 SCOTT Yeah. she's only allowed out when the sun is up.

10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A.

9. THE ARCADE . 11 INT. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind.. KNIVES CHAU Oh. CONTINUE FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize. SCOTT Hey Knives. like. Scott looks at Knives. WALLACE You're too good for him. Run. Does he wear glasses? . this is my cool gay roommate.. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION).DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. Wallace Wells.8.. T A WALLACE Yes. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. He’s gay. Wow... scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move. She digs for quarters. Whispers. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. KNIVES CHAU Oh.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O.S. counting down: 10.. You know. The game ends. SCOTT Yeah.. side by side. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed.

STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. 13 INT. Thank you. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. SCOTT Well. 12 EXT. you guys are gonna be HUGE. Julie.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. Bobby. F T A A13 INT. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. but you guys ROCK. we're already pretty big. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. THE GOODWILL . . RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. 22.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. Knives. Hangers click in time. "PIZZA PIZZA" . SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. slices in hand. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit.

INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. 13 SCOTT Thank you. Julie. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.

SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. I heart them so much. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. SCOTT Me neither.. Scott hugs her. KNIVES CHAU Oh. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . F KNIVES CHAU I mean.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them..DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. KNIVES CHAU . SCOTT Sorry.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. so whatever. 11. I've.I've never gone out with someone so talented.. 15 EXT. But that’s just me. you were saying about me? 14 EXT.

skirt and goggles.Scott wanders alone through a barren land. rubbing his eyes. Her pink hair is funky but cool. SCOTT Oh He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus. THE DREAM DESERT . But she's gone... She is hotter than the desert sun.? . KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. Wow...HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands.. She wears fishnets. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone... WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Wow. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott.SCOTT WAKES alone. sitting up in the FUTON. The light snowfall turns into sand. KNIVES CHAU Oh.. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT.. SCOTT Here you go.. You're just having some idiotic dream. an army jacket. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God. Wind blows. okay. 17 INT... 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. 16 (CONTINUED) . .

Other Scott goes back to sleep. Sunlight ignites the room.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. OTHER VOICE Oh God. Scott opens the bathroom door. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream.. SCOTT No. It was somebody new. 22. SCOTT But there was this girl. F T A . SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. 17 WALLACE What is it. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested. WALLACE What is it. WALLACE Speaking of new.... six in the morning. it wasn’t her. Scott? A scruffy. Wallace rubs his eyes.


KNIVES CHAU I’ll.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl. SCOTT Uh. (CONTINUED) . 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library.CA to the librarian. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: hand slipped.. Let’s talk about something else. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts.. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION.S. Time slows to a crawl. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. I’ll be quieter. head still in the clouds.... STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .uh. SCOTT It was. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room.. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. He carries a stack of books for Knives. STEPHEN STILLS (O.

SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. 19 SCOTT Sorry. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. so.. 21 INT. Kim Pine.. I thought you guys split. This is going to suck.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. Scott exits frame. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. you know. Scott's head is still in the clouds. retard. Both have red plastic cups in hand. SCOTT .. JULIE'S HOUSE ..this sucks. F SCOTT Aw.. T SCOTT Ugh. KIM PINE We're going to this party. man. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . YOUNG NEIL Sucks. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. But. there may be some label guys there. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . what are we doing? 20 EXT..


15A. 21

Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?







16. 21

SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?

Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER






Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.

Scott begins to babble.


SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.



17. 22

SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.

Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.

Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?


JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...










SCOTT I dreaming?

TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. 22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE. 24.

Comes into my work.. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. arms crossed. Scott does not. Got a job with Amazon. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. . Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh.. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. JULIE She just moved here. Now. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. Aged 8” and yet. Stephen Stills is with her. SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18.Flowers.

Stephen.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE ...yes. But I didn't want Scott to know that. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

SCOTT looks to KIM. Ramona is out of your league. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. He’s totally dating a high schooler. me and Kim are all good now. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. let’s leave it at that. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. I don't know what it is about that girl. We hear the sound of arctic winds. whoa. . A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. JULIE Whatever. she justJULIE Scott. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. 22 SCOTT Yeah.

.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party.. F T (CONTINUED) A .. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup..NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. Okay. WALLACE You think he’s. WIDE awake. 20. and hey! There she is. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. landing next to Scott.. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams. From my dream. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . WALLACE Girl. 23 WALLACE You guess right. WALLACE There he is. Wallace storms in. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. Wallace flops onto the futon. I don't know what it is about that girl.. SCOTT I think she’s.. that girl.. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. WALLACE Library. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library.. SCOTT So..INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah.

SCOTT Wait. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. SCOTT What’s that? Break.up.. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. B A STACEY Well. RINGY RING! Scott answers. Who told you? STACEY Duh.. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on. Wallace drifts off. Bye.. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.fake. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace.. who is out cold.girlfriend. 23 WALLACE Mmm... I should send out a mass text about this. cellphone in hand.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. friend. Wallace.. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it.. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone...high school.

Amazon... Pilgrim.THIS IS.. SCOTT "Dear Mr. This is... 23 SCOTT Wallace..!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring. WALLACE Scott..INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.S.. Moments pass.” Scott walks to the front door.this is... how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O.. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool. My name is Matthew Patel.. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. . Scott sits at Wallace's computer.. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “ It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE . Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days. SCOTT (CONT'D) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright..

23 SCOTT Maybe.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE It's the weekend. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest.

He plasters on his best fake smile. Scott doesn't eat. Uh huh. Knives chows down on a slice. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy.DAY A . his thoughts elsewhere.. That’s cute.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. B 25 INT.. PIZZA PIZZA ... out of sync. Scott JUMPS to his feet. SCOTT That's sucky. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. 26 EXT.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. 23 DINGY DONG. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. THE GOODWILL . SONIC BOOM . SCOTT Attack hug.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. still distracted. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door.

26 KNIVES CHAU . B A F T A .but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek.. SCOTT I tell ya'.INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A..

. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives..DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. Scott winces.9. A NEGANINJA . Scott takes a deep breath. NegaNinja.. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb. THE ARCADE . The Rockit.. everybody.10. 28 INT. Scott tunes his bass. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh. On. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up.. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on.. his timing off. And even better? It’s the T. KNIVES CHAU (O. side by side. but he messes up. 27 INT.squares up against Scott’s avatar. (CONTINUED) . staring out... Scott plays halfheartedly..S.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off.I think. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . I think. alone by the window..1.I... THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.....INTEGRATED FINAL 24. SCOTT I can never get past that guy.. Game.B.B. Knives BURSTS into frame.. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show.2. This is never easy. 3. SCOTT Um.8.

S. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. KNIVES CHAU (O. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. She grabs Scott. SCOTT Sure.) Crash and the Boys. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. Great. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . man. It’ll be the cool kids too.. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. F Oh. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. Knives can barely contain herself. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25..) Oh my gosh. This guy at work was like "Steve.

. they suck.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A.S. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.) Yeah.S.S. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.) Oh my gosh.

Scott exits the bathroom. skating past Scott and down the hall. 30 INT. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces..MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right. and you were in my dream. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up.... DREAM HIGH SCHOOL ...INTEGRATED FINAL 26. A (CONTINUED) .? 30 .. that's okay.a long. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use.. down a row of LOCKERS leading to. I dreamt you were delivering me this package.. 29 INT. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. Scott runs after her. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. DINGY DONG.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. He stares at himself in the mirror. um. I was thinking about asking you out. around a corner. it's just like. SCOTT RAMONA No. entering. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE..the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. no. but then I realized how stupid that would be. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi. RAMONA Um. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY... BATHROOM .

. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. RAMONA You still have to sign. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. (CONTINUED) F T A . 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. RAMONA You know. RAMONA Yeah. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all... Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. you'll leave. SCOTT But if I sign for it... I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. That's how it works. Not even. I was the other guy. You’d be impressed. That was some total ass. right? I've lived here forever. I mean. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. SCOTT Okay well. SCOTT So.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. She gives him a need to sign for this. Noooooo. you're like American? RAMONA Why.

. I'm totally waiting on you. RAMONA I need to find a new route. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. RAMONA Well.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. PARK .my dream girl. yeah. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. SCOTT know.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um. . or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. So. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT... You assumed wrong.. And throws the package straight in the trash.. 31 SCOTT You are like.if that's cool. Oh.

SCOTT This is good. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so.. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park.. F SCOTT Is Gideon. RAMONA He’s.. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess.. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here.a friend. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs. RAMONA This is good. They sit on some swings in the park.. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence..

INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. SCOTT Well.. RAMONA Yeah. it’s certainly chilled here. It’s weird. . RAMONA Uh. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. B A Um. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah.. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. Chilled as in cold.

.. relax. RAMONA Well. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly.. I believe you.... This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster.... yeah. you’re probably not that stupid. Ramona hops off her swing. RAMONA Anyway. A Tongue. I can barely see you. night’s not over yet. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. You're too desperate to be gay. RAMONA This is ridiculous. The snowfall gets heavier. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere.. Ramona walks away. SCOTT So this is a 'date'.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. Laughing. no. 34 SCOTT It’s. Wallace is pretty gay. mostly stupid. RAMONA Dude.. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. SCOTT I feel so stupid. SCOTT Yeah.. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw..

. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. I. SCOTT A door? I.. I can’t see you.. Help me.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. I’m blind.

ginseng.. T A (CONTINUED) . 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. raspberry.. vanilla walnut. green tea.S. blueberry chamomile. green tea with lemon and honey. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket..cold! RAMONA (O. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . ginger with honey. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. 35 INT. After a moment alone. He wanders towards a half open door. liver disaster. Pushing it open.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32.S. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt. I'm just... He watches as she slips out of her coat.) That's.very warm. does this help? SCOTT (O. ginger without honey. Ramona opens the door. constant comment and earl grey.) AAAH! Sorry.. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. What is that? B Ramona exits.) Here. SCOTT (O.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. Scott ventures upstairs. green tea with lemon. white truffle.S. girl friendly apartment. sleepytime. vanilla almond.

revealing black panties to complement black bra. A (CONTINUED) .maybe we should both get under it. RAMONA I changed my mind. Pilgrim...kay. Not right now..what about our tea? SCOTT I can.. Scott is in heaven. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you.. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off..kay. A Ohh. RAMONA Well. Scott takes his shirt off... Ramona breaks off. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh. F T SCOTT Maybe. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. smiling.. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later. They tumble onto the bed and make out. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him.not have tea....INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33. You can sleep in my bed.. They look into each others eyes.. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline..were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess.since we're so cold.

Whatever this is. and this is.. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. RAMONA'S ROOM . WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks.. thanks. RAMONA I have to work.oh. Scott walking next to her. I didn't even get any.that was a joke. Scott relaxes. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing. SCOTT Hey. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him.I think I needed this. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT.. we're terrible.. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. RAMONA You're welcome. . B A 37 EXT.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. They exchange a smile.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. Please come. just this. 35 SCOTT This is cool. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . Ramona skates towards the front gate.. Ramona is gone. So. It's been like a really long time..INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave.


37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. far away. THE ROCKIT .(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. his room-mate. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. He’s chronically enfeebled.. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. RAMONA Hey. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. B A F T 38 INT. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. He stands with Wallace and Stacey.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. his social skills vanish. STACEY Excuse my brother. She hands him a note. STACEY And this is Wallace. 212 664-7665. SCOTT Oh. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters.. Ramona is already skating far. I’m Stacey. Scott Pilgrim. girl number. WALLACE Hey. Scott looks back up. .INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35.At The- “THE ROCKIT. Scott is so amazed at her presence. I did totally come. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy.. hey! It’s tonight.. reaching Scott at the bar. right back next to Scott. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”.

Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. Scott’sScott goes white..uh. Wallace stares at Jimmy. wearing makeup and new clothes.. The sound guy hated us. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . STILLS We were just on stage. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. He didn’t even see Knives come in. SCOTT I. 39 INT. People love us. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. Scott scurries off. PROMOTER (O. Knives and Ramona stare at each other.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. wake up.. For sound check. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. wake up. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. Stacey stares at Scott.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. He pushes her away. Go.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. Knives looks kinda sexy. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have.. BACKSTAGE . STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. To. THE ROCKIT. Is this a nightmare? Wake up.

KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. WALLACE Jimmy.haven't started playing yet. I am Crash. THE ROCKIT. Kim glowers. THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT. You passed.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. BACKSTAGE . 8 year old girl drummer. STAGE .04 seconds.. TOO? CRASH Yes. . A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy.INTEGRATED FINAL 37. Please Die. A41 INT. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. CRASH Thank you." And it goes a little something like this. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They.. gives Wallace the finger. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. STAGE . and it's called "We Hate You. I am so very very sad. WALLACE That was a test." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. and these are the Boys. Wallace yells from the balcony. 40 INT.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. Jimmy. TRASHA.

INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B A F T A . B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.

.CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. These guys are good. BACKSTAGE . Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. THE ROCKIT. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. STACEY So Knives. He has so many friends. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. 43 INT.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. BACKSTAGE . THE ROCKIT. The audience are stunned.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience". we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. ... BALCONY . THE ROCKIT. STAGE . He's a friend. 41 INT. STACEY Hard for me to keep track how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT.INTEGRATED FINAL 38.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. Stacey turns to Ramona. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. THE ROCKIT.. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE.

So give it up for Sex. sees Stacey talking to ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. THE ROCKIT..CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony. THE ROCKIT. ANGLE on Knives. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. She faints in the excitement. TWO...yeah. F (CONTINUED) . STAGE .Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on..INTEGRATED FINAL 39. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB.... Scott nods vigorously. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. staring at the stage. 45 INT. ONE.. THE ROCKIT. KNIVES CHAU Well.. BALCONY . BACKSTAGE . FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story.

It is I.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. SCOTT Thank you. They land in THE PIT...INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. MATTHEW PATEL Mr.. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . Alright. Pilgrim. Consider our fight. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. Pilgrim. Patel LANDS like a cat.. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. Matthew Patel. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air.

INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. then holds his hand up for a time-out. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. Scott blocks. Scott blocks. Patel punches. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. landing kicks and punches. We were one hell of a team. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. They exchange furious blows. then lands more punches. all the little jocks wanted me. I told him to hit the showers. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. They pause. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. Scott looks up to Ramona. Scott evades and counter-attacks. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. After a week and a half. non-jock boy in school. probably in the entire state. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. . Scott jump-spins away from danger. in the seventh grade. We only kissed once. Patel evades. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. breathing heavy. Matthew was the only non-white. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A.

narrowly dodging the attack. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. Patel levitates into the air. you’re not the brightest. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. POOF..INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. Scott rolls across the stage. 47 SCOTT Dude. It hits Patel square in the eyes. Scott hits the ground. SCOTT Open your eyes. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme.. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. Maybe you’ll see. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. Scott dodges. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. wait. dodging a third wave of fireballs. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. T A (CONTINUED) . He flips back onto the stage.

BALCONY . THE ROCKIT. He explodes into COINS. 48 INT. 47 K. Scott lands and picks them up. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. They clatter to the stage floor. SCOTT Sweet. Coins.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. Passes Stacey.O! Scott punches Patel.

SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. STAGE . RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. SCOTT Aw man.. Sex Bob-Omb wins.. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. THE like..CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . who is being resuscitated by Tamara.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT. I guess.. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. clapping wildly from the balcony. Ramona yanks Scott away. 50 INT.40? That's not even enough for the bus home. BALCONY .. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. PROMOTER Yeah. $2. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's... 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. 48 RAMONA Well.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. THE ROCKIT. THE BUS . it was great meeting you.. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives. Tell your gay friends I said bye.INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43.. The Promotor ambles back onstage.but he is long gone. Ramona takes a breath.

right? I got to second base last night. Do you want to make out? Uh. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . And someone has a second date tonight.maybe first and a half.. 52 53 OMITTED INT. Scott kisses Ramona. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. yes. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. a spring in his step.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. I mean me. Scott bursts through the front door.. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date.. SCOTT So.. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. The studio audience applauds. someone got to second base last night. SCOTT Cool. I guess.. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. what you're saying is. . WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. SCOTT Well..MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. The studio audience 'awwww's. B WALLACE Someone’s happy.

Today. I don't want you gaying up the place. F SCOTT But you. Scott. T A .. SCOTT You’re a monster...but. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. hey. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook.. Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45.. SCOTT But. I swear to're.. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. WALLACE If you don't do it. so you can't be here tonight. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh.You have to break up with Knives.. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost.. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives... (CONTINUED) B A Morning. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. WALLACE Okay. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine. If you have a problem with's HARD.

INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.

SPOOKY MUSIC underscores... The next click is me hanging up. Surprising no me pulling the trigger. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off...S. B A Ummm. like. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O.. Knives. 54 EXT.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . hey. Hi. I am stalking him later. Um. SCOTT You suck.okay. The one after that. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes. Uh. SCOTT Oh.. Wallace turns the television way up. do you want to. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out.S. KNIVES CHAU (O.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. SCOTT So.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. 46. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. bucko. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing.

INTEGRATED FINAL 47. SONIC BOOM . T (CONTINUED) A . KNIVES CHAU No. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT And... Like.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist.. to meet my parents.... I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom. hey.. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah.and. Well.. B A SCOTT Uh.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. KNIVES CHAU Oh. Chinese food? Yeah. I'm in.. 55 INT. It’s not my favorite. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder.. just so bad. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town. It's my birthday dinner.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. SCOTT Like.I think that's a really bad idea. really. it's okay. pounding inside Scott's head.

The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop.. 55 Knives is so smitten. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . listen.. Scott brushes it away. SCOTT Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A. the word actually appears onscreen.I was thinking we should break up or whatever.

thinks of something happier. KIM PINE Scott.. a little happier. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles. No.. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . thanks. thanks.. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading.. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. Kim and Stills share a look. Oh. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up.DAY Scott sits on the bus broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) .. 56 57 INT/EXT. in shock. thinking about Knives. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. KIM PINE Wait. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2. SCOTT's not going to work out... We broke up. 57 SCOTT Oh. I meant scum of the earth. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record her funky pink hair. SCOTT Aw. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. leaving Knives in the aisle. you are the salt of the earth. 56 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48.. YOUNG NEIL You.

Kim. RAMONA Yes. Kim mimes shooting herself. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair.. We were lucky to survive that last round. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. Young Neil. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp.. 57 SCOTT Yeah. now sporting BLUE HAIR. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. weirded out by this hair development. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. F SCOTT (CONT’D)’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Yeah. Like you said.. SCOTT It’s all blue. but don’t worry. that’s.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49.. new or new-new. RAMONA Hey everyone. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back... B A Scott ushers her in. whether they’re old. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. This is sudden death now. I just dyed it. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. this is Stephen Stills. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me.

57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A.

NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. He’s an idiot. dude. YOUNG NEIL . preparing food as Wallace looks on. SCOTT Okay. I actually dated Scott in high school. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. 58 Ramona lounges. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil.. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah. KIM PINE Believe it or not. KIM PINE Yeah. good. reading a magazine. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. See you guys tomorrow.. Get used to it.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50.. SCOTT She changed her hair. Scott fake laughs.. Starts ushering Ramona out again. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Good. Ramona goes to the bathroom. Cool. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. Scott drops the act.uh.


A (CONTINUED) . B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. Impulsive. good. “when”. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. Good. if you strike out in the next hour. Scott stops Wallace at the door. Fickle. SCOTT Don’t go. with a panicked whisper. Oh my god. Ramona returns. 58 SCOTT I know. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. come find me at the Castle. Wallace pulls on a jacket. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. See you in sixty. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. She’s spontaneous. picnic style. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place.

INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. RAMONA You'd get fat. Mona. SCOTT No. I could honestly eat it for every meal. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. Ra-ra-ra. it goes like this: Ra-mona. Ra-mona. Or just all the time without even stopping. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. Mona. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. A (CONTINUED) . Ra-mona. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. Ra-ra-ra. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. Ramona is taken aback. Ra-mona. Ooooh.

I like it long.she stopped liking me. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago. SCOTT Not really. NARRATOR It wasn’t. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps.... Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears. she told me it was mutual. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up.. Then.. It was brutal. It was. T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. I can barely remember it. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. But it’s so long ago. Earl Jones deep. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. NARRATOR She dumped him. three hours before his big breakup. 58 SCOTT Ha. But she stopped liking that name.. sorry. No. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing.. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.. It’s just that I got.. RAMONA Your hair is cute.

you make me feel.heightened. F SCOTT Yeah.. long handrail between them.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. bright movie set lights. They’re shooting this movie up here. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. every drug. I don’t know. Putting one leg in front of the other.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54.. Things seem a little brighter around you or something. but. Let’s find out.. unless you do. who? SCOTT I forget. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. . I just. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. RAMONA Oh.. ENDLESS STAIRWAY . Not that I do drugs. in which case I do drugs all the time. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle.. T A SCOTT Nooo. as if crossing a magical line. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. I just love me some walking. a castle surrounded by big.. 59 EXT. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy.I don't know.

Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. doing kickflips. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. 60 EXT. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. B A What? Why? Slut. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. RAMONA Ooh. RAMONA Oh. I am not a slut. man. FIRST A. CASA LOMA .D. including Wallace. The spectators go “oooh”. He skates towards the set. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. We gotta go. Mr. T (CONTINUED) A . Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man.INTEGRATED FINAL 55.

I just remember there being lots of drama.. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. RAMONA He just followed me around.. SCOTT . LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade.. Actually. .my..God. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode. it might have been math.. He was a little snot nosed brat. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal.. SCOTT Oh. who gasps.. We had drama.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. LUCAS LEE Action. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. who remains oblivious..

Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. flooring him. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. wobbly.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. Fight. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. . WALLACE Scott. How’s life? He seems nice. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. He nods to Ramona. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Evil ex. crumbling it.

WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. all identically dressed. SCOTT (O.S. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. Suddenly. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. hey. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee.. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again.. A . Tae Kwon Doe style. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. smirking on the sidelines.. He slides across the wet-down ground. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic.. Lucas Lee wanders off. Scott staggers to his feet. punchy. LUCAS LEE He’s good. SCOTT Hey.S. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie.) Looks like you’re seeing double.) Mr.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. Scott stands to fight the double. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station.

SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh.. bro. Scott goes to shake it. preparing for the deathblow. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. LUCAS LEE Prepare. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP.. framed through the torn skyline. Let’s get a beer. . Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. Lucas stomps over to him.. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. 60 Lucas turns.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. well then don't worry about it.. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen.. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. shocked to see Scott. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. Lucas offers a SCOTT You’re needed back on set.

WALLACE Hi. very impressed at Lucas. Big fan. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL. impressed at Lucas.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. F T A (CONTINUED) .. I have my own skate company.. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. HSSSSSSSSS. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board.. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. SCOTT Wow... LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching.. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. Lucas pulls down his shirt. a perfect ollie onto the rail. bro.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59.. SCOTT Hey.. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. if it’s too hardcore. ese. SCOTT So you can sell them. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard. revealing a skate company tattoo.

SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. HSSSSSSSSS. Scott smacks his forehead.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. 60 SCOTT Wow. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs. he totally bailed. WALLACE Wow. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph.. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.

INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .that’s a wrap everybody. phone pressed to his ear. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. RAMONA is not available. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. . 60 FIRST A. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. Uh. Scott again.. you said that last night. Scott Pilgrim. It was right under your nose. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. she totally bailed. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. 61 INT. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). A Scott slumps on the couch.D. It’s me. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. Call me back. please record your message after the beep.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. 212 664-7665. T SCOTT Hey..

Scott slides to the floor. it’s “love”. Step up your game. guy. Either way. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. Break out the L-word. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. I need you to move out. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. then you have to let her know. You have the spirit of a warrior.S. Scott. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone.. you have to fight for it. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . RINGY RING. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. VOICE (O. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor..) Hey Scott. A SEXY. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. completely shocked at this bombshell. Scott picks up. Look. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. WALLACE If you want something bad.


62. 61

SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?

SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?


Uh. No.

ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)


SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.




63. 61

SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.

WALLACE Or does it?

Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.

Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.

Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62

Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62


Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.


KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?


WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?



Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.


63A. 62

WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.






Prepare to die. technically this is not a nightmare. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. SCOTT Wait. .SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. T SCOTT Listen. obviously. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. He’s pissed now.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. I’ve had it today. SHWAA . darlin’. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. 62 SHFFF . F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. She spins to face Scott. but I just cashed my last raincheck. SCOTT Okay. Hits SOMETHING. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood.

Someone help me.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. then I’ll see you later. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. But you won’t see me. Scott is in his usual payphone. Scott looks to the sky. It’s actually me. BLOOR STREET . It’s everyone else that’s crazy. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. STACEY (O.the Mystery Attacker vanishes. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. it’s Scott.S.S. SCOTT It’s Scott.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. Whatever it is.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken. STACEY (O. baffled. SCOTT Well.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. I’m really. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . dialing Stacey frantically. SCOTT Oh man. really not up for this.

CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. SCOTT Cool.S. (CONTINUED) . Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. THE SECOND CUP . Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. Stacey turns around.) I’m literally about to leave. Stacey has her back turned. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter. Are you still working? 65. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". I’m coming in. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. Scott turns back to Julie. And by the way. mouthing that she has to go. not happy. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. 63 STACEY (O.

FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. You kind of disappeared.. 23. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. No. RAMONA Yeah. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. SCOTT No. A . I do that. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. They share an awkward moment. She looks at the floor. Listen. I know it's early days. (CONTINUED) A Exes. RAMONA SCOTT I mean.. I want to hang.." The icy. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott.. "ENVY ADAMS. No biggie. SCOTT Yeah. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing.

SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT.excuse me. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. so totally come. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. Ramona goes to order coffee. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. ENVY Great. I know. You guys should like.. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. SCOTT Yeah. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon.. RAMONA I’m gonna. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. You’re so on the list. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. ENVY Okay. I’m jealous. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. .

65 SCOTT No. About..INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68.. That didn’t end well either. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET .DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side.. Ramona returns. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. that was Envy. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. That. RAMONA And two weeks later. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once.. F T RAMONA So. This guy Todd. How. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend. 65 EXT. SCOTT I can see how it sucks. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists.that was Nat? . Having the past come back to haunt you. sipping their coffees.

INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. Music swells. Scott and Young Neil. 66 Scott stands (no pants). Mm..INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Ramona stops and kisses him. Move on. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . I’m not gonna let her toy with me. Ramona lounges on the couch. B A Word. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim.. From this moment on. 66 INT. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. SCOTT Double negative. Tricky.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. SCOTT Right.

The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. STEPHEN STILLS No. And Envy asked us to open for them. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it.

for the band? For the band. Is a gig. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal.. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. We need to get some buzz going.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70.. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. 67 SCOTT I hate you. pressed against the window. We need groundswell. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. DRUG SMART . You know. We need stalkers. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing.EVENING B A Yeah. . SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do.

68A INT. Knives throws a long scarf on. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay..EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool.I look so. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. (CONTINUED) .EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her good. this really burns. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. eyes narrowing. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God... Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever.INTEGRATED FINAL 71. looking sexy. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA. This is all her fault.. KNIVES’ BATHROOM . so he tried to find someone cool but old. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot.

LEE'S PALACE .NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. LEE’S PALACE . LEE’S PALACE . Tamara pops into frame. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. Now. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. She knows we suck. But I know how to get him back. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. We were Sex Bob-Omb. F T 70 INT.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. Ramona excuses herself. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. Bar. 71 71 INT. as she plots.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72.CONTINUOUS A 70 .Sold out’. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. PUSH into Knives. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . drunk.

looking hot..INTEGRATED FINAL 73. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. RAMONA Hey. LEE'S PALACE. "KNIVES CHAU.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. 72 INT. F T . Knives follows. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. SCOTT Briefly. LADIES BATHROOM . KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er.. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. Briefly. 17. standing next to Ramona. Or is it. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. clothes and makeup. LEE'S PALACE . Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. confused.

(sing songy) Peee time. 75 INT. I gotta pee.MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. Pee time. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. Knives screams her teen brains out.. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. A I know..MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group.. (turns beet red) I mean. LEE’S PALACE. He’s alone.. You know? Oh yeah. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. (CONTINUED) . 25. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. striking ROCK GOD figure. Stares at Scott. EVIL-EX #3. no longer shrouded in dry ice. LEE’S PALACE . MENS BATHROOM . revealing a stunning figure.. Oh yeah. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes.” and “Who. "TODD INGRAM.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. Envy lets her coat slip off. he cuts a handsome. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. ENVY in a long black coat. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her.. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke.


YOUNG NEIL Man. Oh.. LEE’S PALACE. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs.“AWKWARD”. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. RAMONA Hey Todd. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. RAMONA Mmm hmm. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. They’re so much better live. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . you have to see them live. TODD INGRAM Been a while. Everyone else feels. Just oh my God. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. Envy. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona.. Envy burns a hole through Scott.

. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple... We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon.Envy? I read your blog. cute couple. ENVY I was just there. Stephen. KNIVES CHAU Um. Did you get those jeans in New York. Envy. in general? T A . JULIE Ramona lived in New York. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. ENVY So. ENVY Just saying. I like your outfit Ramona. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. You know him.. it’s not something I can really put into words. you know? You suit each other. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives.

.Knives stands up. She is about to answer when. 77 Scott looks at Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A ..

SCOTT KK. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. Her hair is black and plain as before. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet.. JULIE So. Scott hovers. Hair. Scott boils. I’m a rock star.yy. 77 Envy nods at Todd. TODD INGRAM That’s right. choking.. grasping his neck. Her. Todd smirks. Todd sits back down like nothing happened.. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd.. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. ENVY You’re incorrigible. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal.your hair. I’m not afraid to hit a girl.. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. Out. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s neck... Young Neil escorts Knives out. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. Of.. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights.

I always wondered. if you knew the science.. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air.vegan. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall.. A (CONTINUED) . to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. SCOTT If I peed my pants.anyone can be. While the others bicker. question. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man. He moans in pain. TODD INGRAM Bingo. He tries to keep cool. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. despite being in a lot of pain. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. SCOTT No kidding. Ramona helps Scott to his feet. Scott sails out of shot and into space..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78..


. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. Nobody cared.O. but I used to be kind of. It’s part of the reason I moved here.O.) We hated that. RAMONA (V. RAMONA (V. so I dumped him. We wrecked stuff. Nobody cares. RAMONA Look. It’s pretty crazy. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA (V. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. I guess that’s not very nice. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. A brief. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd.) A week and a half later.O. It was pretty crazy.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. 77 SCOTT Oh. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. RAMONA (V..

Scott CHARGES at Todd. call us when you’re done.dust.sort of ready for another round.cleans up. TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.dislike you... Right? ENVY Basically. And the cleaning lady. SCOTT You used to be so. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice... ‘cos Todd is going to kill you. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.. She dusts..ready for another round. I and he! Scott stands up . T SCOTT A SCOTT I.. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . Stills calls through the hole. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business... SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds.Monday.. so. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80. B A SCOTT Sorry. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off...nice! F Um. SCOTT He and me. We hear a distant CRUMP. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona .

he’ll be done real soon. 77 ENVY Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

amp pegged to 10. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. LEE'S PALACE . Todd LEVITATES. 79 (CONTINUED) . TODD INGRAM You’re going down. Your bass hand is badly injured. Crummy way to end things. cringing. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. The good one. Pilgrim. I know. Todd calls to a roadie. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. You’re through. ENVY Sorry. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. picking the hell out of his bass. Envy grins at Ramona. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. LEE’S PALACE. Scott turns around on his knees. shredding him into oblivion. I actually know how to play bass. fauxhawk rising. Suddenly. baby. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. Todd floats toward him. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. 78 INT. savoring the kill. wicked. He hovers next to him. floating towards Scott with his bass.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles.

but that's pathetic. 79 ENVY I’m sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

you knowingly ingested Gelato. Todd floats to the ground. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. A . tool.m. Thanks.. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. 7:30 p. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. SCOTT Actually. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. no vegan powers. You know.m. I'll take the one with soy. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. on February 1st. bitch. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. I poured soy in this cup. takes one of the cups and drinks. in my mind's eye or whatever.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82.

shooting Envy a look on the way out. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. SCOTT Maybe they should. I know.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. Natalie. Julie pops into shot. (CONTINUED) . 79 Envy gasps. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD.. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. Now let’s get out of here. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. jaw ajar. So I guess we’re even. Envy blinks. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. Envy stares. disgusted. F SCOTT Uh. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns.. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. in shock. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. sorry I guess. Ramona follows. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down.

80 INT. PIZZA PIZZA .. KIM PINE Then why would we. A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. on the fringes. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. STEPHEN STILLS Neil.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. It’s an odd mood. That Todd guy was cool too.. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. I am so pissed off for you right now. I liked him. 79 JULIE For the record. Stills coughs.oh. Julie. Ramona and Scott. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. And hot. ENVY Shut the fuck up. WALLACE Envy Adams. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties.

INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. so. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. Ramona falls back with him. not with fists.NIGHT A Oh. AFTER PARTY . B 81 EXT. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. WALLACE I mean. lagging behind. Scott limps a bit. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . we can totally go. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. So let’s go. Scott takes another bite. Ooh. Hey.. Yet. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. Other Scott whispers to Wallace.. Oh. He shrugs.

It’s justRAMONA It’s just..? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 81 SCOTT No.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.. I’m fine. I’m fine.


86. 81

SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?

SCOTT that good?

SCOTT But not...later?

SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82




RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.


RAMONA It’s what I need right now.


RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.


87. 82

RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.

SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.

They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?

We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.

They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.


That’s it?

RAMONA And what about you and Kim?

SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.


SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.



RAMONA And was she cool with that?


88. 82

Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.

SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.

PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?



SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA

SCOTT Why do you keep saying-


RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.


In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.


82 ROXY Oh boy. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North.she. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. B A ROXY Well honey. Roxy flips out of the hold.. SCOTT What. does she know me... clearing the busy dance floor.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious. no one can. The girls square off. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. F T A (CONTINUED) .. The League hath spoken.. ROXY Back off hasbian.. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air.” RAMONA It was just a 23. If Gideon can’t have you.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER.

F WALLACE Oh yeah. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. The belt wraps around it. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. leaving a dent in it. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. It smashes a speaker. ROXY Give it a rest. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. this is live? Uh huh. She BLOCKS with the hammer. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. He’s a creep. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. This is a League game. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. you slag. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. Ramona. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. RAMONA Believe it. With blinding speed.

ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. Or possibly feet.

Some sooner than others. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl.. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. still in the splits. ROXY Fight your own battles.. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. winces. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. RAMONA Whenever we were making out. She staggers. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. They’re soft.. kicking them apart with the splits. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh.never. She grins at Ramona. throbbing with orgasmic able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee... Roxy falls. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. . (CONTINUED) B A Okay. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. He lands HARD on the floor.. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room.

a wave of gossip spreading around the room. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . People text furiously and point fingers at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. 82 The party starts up again.

RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. Ramona follows tentatively. Looks hurt. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. SCOTT Only on special occasions. She touches her hair. Ramona tries to lighten things. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. RAMONA I really think we should split.. T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Sooooo.. Scott has already downed his second drink. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. The gossip echoes around them. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please.

82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. You’re drunk. In fact I’m sick of it. I thought you might be more understanding. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. RAMONA (CONT’D) P. Ramona exits proper. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. Scott looks at the list. KATAYANAGI TWINS. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. You. GIDEON..NIGHT B A But then . It reads“PATEL. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. A (CONTINUED) .Ramona returns. RICHTER. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . I don’t enjoy all this Scott. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. Ramona leaves. LEE. Here’s your stupid list. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. RAMONA Dirty laundry.” 83 INT.. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces.S. INGRAM.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93.


94. 83

We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.

STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.


EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...


STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84


SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.


SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.



94A. 84

Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.







95. 84

STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?

SCOTT That’s impossible85


Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.

KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.

Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.







STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?


Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN.. Scott and Stills get into battle position.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care.. KYLE KATAYANAGI. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. 23. Can we do this? I mean. KEN KATAYANAGI. Scott. Now an open air venue.) They brought the house down. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. we can do this. She is totally there... is very serious and Japanese. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. leaving a huge hole in the roof. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling... ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. She looks happy. is serious and very Japanese. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses.S. The crowd cheers. 23. Scott turns bleak again. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. SNOW falls onto the stage. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. (CONTINUED) . They are chatting. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. AUDIENCE DUDE (O...

Kyle looks at Ken. T A (CONTINUED) . Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. We’re done. comes in heavy on the kick drum. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. They share a nod. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE.. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. SCOTT Alright. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb.. then helps Kim up. 37. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. He struggles to his feet. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. Scott. they sound awesome. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. For once. This is GIDEON GRAVES. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. ASSHOLE. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. SCOTT Gideon.

different.. What are you doing? . SCOTT Ramona. hovering next to Scott.. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. SCOTT You seem.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. B Scott and Knives lock eyes.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. eyes narrowing. I have something I need to tell you.. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. RAMONA Yeah.. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. SCOTT Getting a life. 86 EXT. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. different. Scott follows. The crowd goes bazooky. THE NINTH CIRCLE . but she and Gideon are gone. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott.was epic.. I’m not even stalking you. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. He can’t find Ramona. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. SCOTT Ramona. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. Knives watches him go..

Listen. really mean it. I don’t care about any of that stuff. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. . 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. And I want you to know.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt.

INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. Okay. Scott glowers.. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. Stills is ga-ga.. Oh okay.. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs.. captioned “PEE”. Ramona looks at the floor. VOICE (O. 86 RAMONA Oh. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow.. I just. T RAMONA It’s Gideon. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. B A Bob-omb. A driver opens the passenger door.I can’t help myself around him. The Lincoln's not going to work out. GIDEON GRAVES You know.. Scottie.) That’s the bad news.S. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. A (CONTINUED) . GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes.

INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.

if it wasn’t for me. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. A . SCOTT Nuh-uh. keep your emotions in check. bass in hand. GIDEON Oh and Scott. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. Kim shrugs and signs it too. but if it wasn’t for you. Scott. So I guess it all shakes out. we should really be thanking each other. I mean. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. before trying to hand it back to Scott. A cough. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. There are hand shakes all round. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. A meek Young Neil slides into view. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. you would have never been with Ramona. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. buddy. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. can I just say. she wouldn’t be back with me. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. GIDEON And hey. Scott stands alone.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100.

INTEGRATED FINAL 100A.NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone. Scott tries desperately to think positive... thinking about Ramona... A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona... Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN .. 87 INT.

SCOTT Seven. Day turns to night.. 88 INT.S. Scott looks at the camera.NIGHT Scott enters.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. F T A STACEY (O. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. Over PITCH BLACK. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. Scott remains in the exact same position. little brother. Flicks the light on. 88 B A STACEY Oh.. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. staring straight ahead. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT.S. Gets a shock. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends. Night turns to day. Well that’s not so bad. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . gives Scott a hug.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. “THONK”. STACEY Time heals all wounds.. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean.. Stacey heads off.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. THE PARK .

I get it.S. But I need my own bed tonight.S.S. 89 INT. wrapped in a blanket. WALLACE Ah. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). But you know. Scott sits in the chair.) Sorry. 88 WALLACE (O. WALLACE (O. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona.S. and I apologize for that.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. VOICE (O. SCOTT And the year. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O.) It’s Chris. A Right. Right. T . That sucks. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. For sex. you know I love you.S. it’s probably just because he’s better than you.) Or someone. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. SCOTT (O. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott.) It’s Chris.

WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair. 89 Scott nods.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott nods.

I don’t want any hard feelings. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 89 WALLACE Either way. INT. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call.S.) Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. T A Thanks. He calls off. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. GIDEON'S LAIR . SCOTT (O.S. Scott nods. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. Some guy picks up.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. SCOTT RINGY RING. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know.S. 91 (CONTINUED) . SOME GUY It’s for Scott.) Hey. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. Are you with me? RAMONA (O.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. Scott stares at the phone. it’s gonna be alright. I think this fight is over. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. pal.

GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. Maybe I’ll see you there. Well as you know. HIPSTER KID Cool. Finish him.S.S) Sure you did. leaning against a warehouse wall.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. Scott turns. STREETS OF TORONTO . HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. 92 EXT.) I hope so. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. amigo. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight.) What a perfect asshole. alarmed.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. What do you say? .S. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. Whatever. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. SCOTT Mm. Click. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. B Password? Scott shrugs.

NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. WAREHOUSE . HIPSTER KID Cool. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. B A F T A . Scott steps into the elevator. 93 INT. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. So far so good.

STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go. COMEAU holds court among them.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT..with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. Ramona kneels at his side.the CHAOS THEATRE. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. (CONTINUED) . They are legion. CHAOS THEATRE . SCOTT What if I have a beef. STEPHEN STILLS Well. 94 INT. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. then you’re doomed.S. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. COMEAU Yeah. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. Don’t give him the satisfaction. now using SWEET BRAND amps. skinny jeans.. Chuck Taylors. looking up at his former bandmates.INTEGRATED FINAL 105... Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. their first album is so much better than their first album. YOUNG NEIL on bass. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. wearing identical outfits.

Ramona looks away from Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. Gideon loses his cool. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. whatever.O. I’m in love with her. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. A new power comes over Scott. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. flexes. buddy.) Scott earned the power of love. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild.. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving. Gideon smiles. Scott gets into a fighting stance. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke.buddy. NARRATOR (V. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. It’s ancient history. League. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is... (CONTINUED) . Gideon stands up..

and sell out and stuff.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands.S. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless.. Then from above. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. ON BEAT. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. to administer a final blow. (CONTINUED) . KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. Gideon raises his sword. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. Gideon chuckles. by the way. both concerned and amazed. rolling to a stop. 18 YEARS OLD.. He slashes at them to the beat.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands.. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. My cane. we are here to make money. Gideon approaches.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. KNIVES CHAU (O. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. She lands awkwardly. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. exploding each attacker into COINS. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. SCOTT Your club sucks. Scott looks to Knives. Scott hits the ground HARD. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. “KNIVES CHAU.. Kim clicks out a fast tempo.

KUNG FU STYLE. distracted by his duelling exes. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. throwing blocks and punches. Kung Pao Chicken. He was warned plenty of times. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. separating them. I didn’t steal anyone. T A (CONTINUED) . B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively.

Okay? (beat) I mean. You can cheat on these ladies all you want. With you. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. Knives. but you can’t.cheat. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat.SAND blows through frame.death.. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives....Scott's eyes blink open.maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away.. rubbing his temples. neither amused.S. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott... F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott.. . THE DREAM DESERT . GIDEON (O..... but. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me. 95 EXT.. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground..DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie.. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us.

INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . fainter than before. 95 SCOTT Ugh. Ramona appears out of nowhere.

the truth is. self-consciously touching her hair. eh? B A SCOTT Well. RAMONA No.. has a way of getting into my head. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry.. I really will leave you alone forever now.. But he ignored me.. and that’s when he started paying attention. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. I was crazy about him. Scott.. RAMONA He’s like that. Dying probably sucks. it was me who was obsessed.. I mean. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. T A (CONTINUED) .. Ramona covers the chip. maybe now would be the time to get into it.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. RAMONA Alright. SCOTT Well. That’s why I had to leave. that’s legitimately disappointing. he literally has a way of getting into my head. Seeing as I’m about to die.. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. He just. SCOTT That is evil. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody.

DA-DING. SCOTT So. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. ..INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. as Scott enters.. I really fought for you back there.. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. Ramona is gone.. Ramona seeming to fade away. A Ahhhhhh. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT . Scott slumps to his knees. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. The winds blow harder.. 96 INT. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. RAMONA Uh-huh. He flicks the light on. We had a good run.. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb.. I guess. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to alone.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there.

. guy. that’s you.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. But my Mentor. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. enemies. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal.. pal.S.S.) Scott. Sadly. during which I totally seized the sword. when my journey began. But before I do that. I feel terrible about everything.S. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O... SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. I died. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. allies. GIDEON GRAVES (O.S. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. On PITCH BLACK. Gideon Graves..) F T A (CONTINUED) . I don’t want any hard feelings. WALLACE (O. 96 SCOTT . I was just about toSCOTT Hey. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. B A Um.. a call I considered refusing. SCOTT Wallace.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. So I did. I need to ask one final favor of you. hands him the phone. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. GIDEON GRAVES (O.S. There were tests. Chaos Theatre.) Sure thing. I was living in an ordinary world.) Again? WALLACE (O.

hardcore. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. sorry. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. 96 SCOTT Sorry. exposing his junk. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

96 SCOTT You seen one.. 99 INT. Stephen. Kim shrugs. You guys sound better without me. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. the new line-up rocks. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever..DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) .AGAIN.. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. deadpan as ever. CHAOS THEATRE . STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. From this point forward. Young Neil? You have learned well. I know what I’m doing. COMEAU Yeah.everything. you shall be known as “Neil”.. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me. knocking them out. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces.. STREETS OF TORONTO . WAREHOUSE . 98 INT. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. 97 EXT.. SCOTT Don’t worry. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott.

99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A.

O. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. let’s do it.S. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. LEAPING in the air.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT.. My cane. A strange new power overcomes Scott.. exploding each attacker into COINS. They land on opposite sides of the platform. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. You’re pretentious. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. He unsheathes his SWORD. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. T SCOTT No. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. I have beef. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . different than before.I want to fight you for me. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. backs to each other. the club sucks. Ramona at his side. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. Scott goes straight into fight mode. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. Ramona and Scott lock eyes.

Dead.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. Scott calls out. apparently. 99 Gideon falls down. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

She kicks him in the face.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. RAMONA Never felt better. So. but still grinning. They square off.. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. She didn’t mean that. stunned. I was a different guy back're not a fat ass. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . bloodied.. hands held out. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. Ramona rubs the back of her head. Scott jumps between them. The CHIP no longer blinks. SCOTT No. Knives steps back. Knives. All turn to see GIDEON. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. I cheated on you. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. Knives pulling KNIVES. And I’m sorry. Ramona staggered. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. GIDEON GRAVES (O. Scott GRABS her wrists.S. Scott turns to Ramona. taste my steel.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. I hurt you. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts.

Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. 99 SCOTT Oh. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. Scott steps into a fighting stance. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . you got a fight alright. the three of them ready to rumble. GIDEON Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. Knives joins him.

SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. He cuts big arcs at Scott. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. expecting her to move. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. Scott leaps in the air. Gideon spins again and swings upward. Gideon jumps after him. She looks doubtful. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. Knives and Ramona. dropping her. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. Scott ducks. Gideon swings at Scott. You’re still my girl. They CLASH in the air. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . They fence. Knives throws her knives. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. SCOTT ATTACKS. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona.his glasses glow. baby. disarms Scott with one move. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. knocking her down. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Knives attacks and scores a hit. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. Gideon BLOCKS. They barely dodge him. He grins. takes a hesitant step towards him. Ramona KICKS. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. his HEALTH BAR increases. The swords create an “X”. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. He shakes off the assault and grins.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. . GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. Gideon BLOCKS. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. Gideon hits her back. Knives whips off her scarf. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. Gideon spins low. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah.

You’re zero. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. I’m what’s happening. she kicks him in the back of the head. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. 99 Scott lands hard. (CONTINUED) . Not long now. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. defeated. She lands painfully at the bottom. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. A pain in my ass. I’m blowing up right now. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona.. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. One lens of his glasses cracks. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. They Get up and circle Gideon. Me? I’m what’s hip. You’re nothing. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. sending him spinning. From the floor. Knives and Scott share a look. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill.

Gideon’s head EXPLODES. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. The coin rain continues.) You two make a good combo. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. KIM PINE There goes our deal. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. And you got another thing right. Ramona. makes her way towards them.. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down... They share a smile. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) . awake now. RAMONA (O. Scott and Knives kiss. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. Right now. right? Kim points to the falling coins. You are blowing up.S. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. Oh. 99 SCOTT You’re right. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid.

. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. nothing. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face.but can you defeat. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. He’s a super-nice guy. Fringed hair.. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. They chat amiably. The glasses GLIMMER. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him.. Dark clothes.) You can defeat me. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes.. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. We just shot the shit.yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. SCOTT No. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. worried for Scott.. Both take a step forward.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118.. They look expectantly at the entrance. THE WAREHOUSE . Knives and Ramona. This is something I have to face on my own.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. We actually have a lot in common.S. KNIVES CHAU Your hair... shake hands and part ways.. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. Scott and Negascott face off. Evil face.. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. Then. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) .


SCOTT I think I understand. I should probably disappear. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. then realizes Ramona has gone. B A RAMONA It's hard. Snow begins to fall. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. literally taking his guard down. Where are you going? Ramona. though. F T Scott calls after her. He turns to see her. hoping to slip away. stops and turns back. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly.. you know? I came here to get away. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me.. RAMONA I dunno. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. but the past keeps catching up. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. RAMONA I should tahnk you. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Hey. Ramona sees this and smiles. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. Steps tentatively away from Knives. You do? Scott smiles.

) Go get her. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. We hear a COUGH . then lets it drop.S. Knives doesn’t look back. Scott watches. Ramona walks on into the night alone. A (CONTINUED) . Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives. She turns to walk off again. then hearsKNIVES (O. And stuff. I’m too cool for you anyway. but thenSCOTT (O. We hear a 2ND COUGH .S. T Surprised.. Before she’s gone. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. She takes his hand briefly. RAMONA Well. F KNIVES You earned it.) Hey.Nega Scott also sidles into frame. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. Guitar still in hand. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A... Bye and stuff. You’ve been fighting for her all along.. SCOTT Yeah.

..9...O. Literally. F JULIE (V.. it was apparently awesome. it was a HUGE fight.. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside.4.. night magically turning to day.O. It was unbelievable... A STACEY (V. snow swirling around it. Scott takes it.. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater. CONTINUE? 10..7... She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier.. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could.8. winter turning to spring. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. standing right in the middle of the street.) Oh my God.... T Over this magical transformation. A We see the door with the star on it.. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door. try again? Ramona smiles.2.. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves.3. .INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B. I mean bananas.) Oh my God.1. Yeah.6. sunrise coming up over Toronto..5. Someone seriously should have been filming it...


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