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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. SCOTT (O. RATING: AWESOME. Scott grins heroically.S. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. 2 KIM PINE Well.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. grumbling..INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. 17. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. THE BUS . Scott winks at the camera. MOTHER CHAU. cute and innocent with clothes to match. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. Scott winks at Knives. . 22 YEARS OLD. 45. books scattering everywhere. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. sits next to her mother..." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. demanding. Knives crouches down to pick up her books. She's Chinese.) Hey..
STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .. KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 4 INT.DAY Back in the kitchen.INTEGRATED FINAL 2A.. everyone looks at Scott.
Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. Scott smiles broadly. really. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. SCOTT Oh. She has the capacity to geek. She geeks.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. man. hey. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. 4 SCOTT Yes. SCOTT She’ll geek. It is. Please be good. He's the talent. Scott opens the door a crack. 5 INT/EXT. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. Let it be soon. B A Hey. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . I want her to geek out on us.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. this is Stephen Stills. Knives.
INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Lemme get your coat. I’m not in the band. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives.. drums. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. (CONTINUED) .DAY Knives enters.S. sorry. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi.yes. LAME BRAND amps..Tetris. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. ratty rug. KNIVES CHAU Wow.. who finally gets it.Zelda.that’s kind of a big question. YOUNG NEIL Oh... SCOTT Knives. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. that’s Young Neil.. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. 6 INT..INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. Amps hum to life. that’s Kim. I just live here. Knives waves.. guitar. bass. . wow. sticks in her hands. KNIVES CHAU Hi.
.are so.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome. BUS STOP . do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended. jaw ajar. The song ends.. SCOTT B A Yeaaah.. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5. 7 EXT. F (CONTINUED) . if your life had a face I would punch it. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE. Knives watches. Amazing.Sex Bob-Omb.. feedback lingering. Yeaaah.. Kim. 8 INT.amazing. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus... are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics.. what? KIM PINE I mean. SCOTT Yeaaah.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room..wait. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. KNIVES CHAU I can't even..
ROOMMATE. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. 24 YEARS OLD. SCOTT Yeaaaah. ha.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace.. Kim. yes. SCOTT So. Don’t tell too many people. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. dark hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. arched eyebrow. FUTON included. WALLACE Yeah. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. SCOTT Neil. ha. I'm dating a 17 year old. turns to Young Neil. The whole seventeen year old thing. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. You're totally my bitch forever. "WALLACE WELLS. you were saying she seems awesome. . disloyal. she seems awesome. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. ha. one room apartment.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 9 WALLACE Hey. you know me.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A.
starts texting. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. WALLACE (O. Scott sinks into an armchair. peppy barista. Duh. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. you will not be served”. 19. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN.S. YOUNGER SISTER. SCOTT That’s not true. The phone goes.) You know me." A STACEY (O. cute. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. Don’t tell my sister. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. 9 SCOTT I mean.S. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. WALLACE You know me. Knives Chau. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. Scott picks up. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7.
more like.. you know? It's just.. so I wouldn't call it dating. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. SCOTT Well.simple. 9 SCOTT Yeah. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. Uniformed boys and girls pour out.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. 10 EXT. At all... CATHOLIC SCHOOL . STACEY Oh my God. STACEY Um. STACEY (CONT’D) So. (CONTINUED) .. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. are you legitimately moving on. the whole deal.. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad.. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. I think she hugged me once. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. Scott.it’s just nice.. you haven’tSCOTT No no no. We haven’t even held hands. SCOTT This school has boys too. WALLACE I hate you. F T A SCOTT I don't know.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A.
.. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck.. She digs for quarters. The game ends. counting down: 10. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. You know. this is my cool gay roommate. Run. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. Does he wear glasses? . T A WALLACE Yes.. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION).. KNIVES CHAU Oh.. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. SCOTT Hey Knives. like.. WALLACE You're too good for him. THE ARCADE . They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison.S. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move. 11 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. Whispers. side by side. SCOTT Yeah. Scott looks at Knives. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod.wow. KNIVES CHAU Oh. He’s gay. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close..9. Wallace Wells. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O. Wow. CONTINUE appears.8.
But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. 12 EXT.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. Bobby. SCOTT Well.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. we're already pretty big. 13 INT. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. Hangers click in time. THE GOODWILL . 22. slices in hand. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. Thank you. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. F T A A13 INT. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . "PIZZA PIZZA" . SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. Knives. but you guys ROCK. you guys are gonna be HUGE. . I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. Julie. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND.
13 SCOTT Thank you. (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Julie.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A.
KNIVES CHAU . 11... SCOTT Yeah. KNIVES CHAU Oh. 15 EXT. I heart them so much. Scott hugs her. F KNIVES CHAU I mean.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them.. But that’s just me. SCOTT Sorry. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. I've. you were saying about me? 14 EXT. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment.no. so whatever. SCOTT Me neither. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy.I've never gone out with someone so talented. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ..
MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone. She wears fishnets.. 16 (CONTINUED) .. Her pink hair is funky but cool.Scott wanders alone through a barren land.. The light snowfall turns into sand. okay. SCOTT Here you go. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott.SCOTT WAKES UP... SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure. an army jacket. Wow. You're just having some idiotic dream. THE DREAM DESERT . 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals.. 17 INT. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands.. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. sitting up in the FUTON.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. She is hotter than the desert sun.so.. . SCOTT Oh God..HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. rubbing his eyes..so alone. Wow.. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT.. But she's gone. skirt and goggles. KNIVES CHAU Oh. Wind blows. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God..? . WALLACE'S APARTMENT . He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus..
WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested. WALLACE What is it. 22. SCOTT No. F T A . Scott opens the bathroom door. 17 WALLACE What is it. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream. It was somebody new. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. WALLACE Speaking of new... Wallace rubs his eyes. it wasn’t her.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT.. Sunlight ignites the room. Scott? A scruffy. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. OTHER VOICE Oh God. SCOTT But there was this girl. six in the morning.. Other Scott goes back to sleep. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like.
INTEGRATED FINAL 13A. THE LIBRARY . 18 INT.DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school.CA to the librarian.uh.. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention.. (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14.my hand slipped. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . I’ll be quieter. He carries a stack of books for Knives. Time slows to a crawl. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song.. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. STEPHEN STILLS (O.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl. SCOTT Uh... SCOTT It was. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. Let’s talk about something else. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON.S. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION. head still in the clouds.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. KNIVES CHAU I’ll..
SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street.. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . T SCOTT Ugh. there may be some label guys there. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. what are we doing? 20 EXT. This is going to suck. man. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's. But.. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . I thought you guys split.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. 21 INT.. so... Both have red plastic cups in hand.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. KIM PINE We're going to this party. Kim Pine. 19 SCOTT Sorry. retard. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about.. SCOTT .this sucks.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. JULIE'S HOUSE . you know. Scott's head is still in the clouds. F SCOTT Aw. Scott exits frame.
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. 24. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. arms crossed. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. JULIE She just moved here. Got a job with Amazon. Stephen Stills is with her. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. Aged 8” and yet.Flowers. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. Comes into my work. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. SCOTT Yeah. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. Scott does not. Now...
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .yes.. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. But I didn't want Scott to know that.. Stephen.
F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. let’s leave it at that. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. SCOTT looks to KIM. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. . JULIE Whatever. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. she justJULIE Scott. whoa.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. I don't know what it is about that girl. Ramona is out of your league. me and Kim are all good now. He’s totally dating a high schooler. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. We hear the sound of arctic winds. 22 SCOTT Yeah.
WIDE awake.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party.. 20.. WALLACE Girl.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. and hey! There she is. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. SCOTT So. Wallace storms in.. WALLACE You think he’s. Okay.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. F T (CONTINUED) A .NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. WALLACE Library. From my dream. 23 WALLACE You guess right. that girl.. landing next to Scott. Wallace flops onto the futon... SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams. WALLACE There he is.. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. I don't know what it is about that girl.. SCOTT I think she’s.
.girlfriend.. Who told you? STACEY Duh.. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. SCOTT Wait.high school..up. friend.. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) .. Wallace drifts off. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. Wallace. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. Bye. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on..fake. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone.. SCOTT What’s that? Break. cellphone in hand. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21.. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something. 23 WALLACE Mmm. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. who is out cold. RINGY RING! Scott answers. I should send out a mass text about this. B A STACEY Well..
” Scott walks to the front door. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah..ca. Scott sits at Wallace's computer.. This is..) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright..this is. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon.THIS IS. Pilgrim.. WALLACE Scott.. SCOTT "Dear Mr..hmm. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon... Moments pass.ca.Amazon...... SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK.. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE . What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool.!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring. . Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days. My name is Matthew Patel.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22..S. 23 SCOTT Wallace. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O.
23 SCOTT Maybe. WALLACE It's the weekend.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
DAY A . Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. 23 DINGY DONG. 26 EXT. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign.. That’s cute.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. Scott doesn't eat.. out of sync. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy. SCOTT Attack hug.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. Scott JUMPS to his feet. SCOTT That's sucky. Knives chows down on a slice. THE GOODWILL .DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. He plasters on his best fake smile. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. SONIC BOOM . KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. PIZZA PIZZA .. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. B 25 INT. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door. Uh huh. still distracted. his thoughts elsewhere..
B A F T A .but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek. SCOTT I tell ya'.INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A... 26 KNIVES CHAU .
STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday.. everybody.INTEGRATED FINAL 24. 27 INT. NegaNinja. SCOTT Um... Scott plays halfheartedly..EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb.. staring out. I think.2.. And even better? It’s the T. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott.. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on.S. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off. side by side. alone by the window. his timing off.9.8. but he messes up.1.squares up against Scott’s avatar...B.I think. Scott takes a deep breath. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . THE ARCADE ... Scott tunes his bass.. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up. A NEGANINJA . KNIVES CHAU (O.10. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives. On.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show. Scott winces..B.. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. Knives BURSTS into frame. The Rockit.. This is never easy. (CONTINUED) ..I.. 28 INT. 3. Game.. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh.
INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . This guy at work was like "Steve. F Oh. man. KNIVES CHAU (O. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O.S. Great.. Knives can barely contain herself. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. She grabs Scott.) Crash and the Boys.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom..) Oh my gosh. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. SCOTT Sure. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win.S. It’ll be the cool kids too.
INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A.S. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.S. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.S.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one. they suck. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O. .) Yeah.) Oh my gosh.
. DINGY DONG. skating past Scott and down the hall. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. I dreamt you were delivering me this package. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. BATHROOM .EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. around a corner.a long. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi. 30 INT.. He stares at himself in the mirror. RAMONA Um.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell.. down a row of LOCKERS leading to. no. 29 INT. it's just like. A (CONTINUED) . STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE.INTEGRATED FINAL 26.. Scott exits the bathroom. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it..MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up.. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand... SCOTT RAMONA No. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY.. um. entering. but then I realized how stupid that would be.. Scott runs after her. I was thinking about asking you out. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door..? 30 . that's okay. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces. and you were in my dream.
Noooooo. That was some total ass.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27.. SCOTT But if I sign for it. I was the other guy. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block.. SCOTT Okay well.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. I mean. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. RAMONA Yeah. Not even. She gives him a pen.. RAMONA You still have to sign. That's how it works. RAMONA You know. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me.. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. Scott stands in awe of Ramona... you'll leave.you need to sign for this. SCOTT So. You’d be impressed. right? I've lived here forever. you're like American? RAMONA Why. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. (CONTINUED) F T A .
RAMONA I need to find a new route. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them.my dream girl. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. PARK . SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. I'm totally waiting on you.. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me.you know.if that's cool.. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. 31 SCOTT You are like. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done..NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park.. RAMONA Well. yeah. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um. You assumed wrong. SCOTT Sorry. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28.. So. Oh. .. And throws the package straight in the trash.
SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. RAMONA He’s. RAMONA This is good. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. SCOTT This is good.is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence....INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. F SCOTT Is Gideon. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park.a friend. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so... So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess.. They sit on some swings in the park.
It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you.. RAMONA Yeah. Chilled as in cold. SCOTT Well. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. It’s weird. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. B A Um. .. RAMONA Uh.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. it’s certainly chilled here.
. Laughing. Ramona hops off her swing... A Tongue. I can barely see you. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me... I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. mostly stupid.. The snowfall gets heavier. RAMONA Well. You're too desperate to be gay. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. night’s not over yet. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. no.. SCOTT I feel so stupid. Wallace is pretty gay.. you’re probably not that stupid. SCOTT Yeah.. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. RAMONA This is ridiculous.. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. relax. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. RAMONA Anyway... yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. RAMONA Dude. Ramona walks away. 34 SCOTT It’s. . SCOTT So this is a 'date'. I believe you.
I’m blind..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A.. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. I can’t see you. I. Help me. B A (CONTINUED) F T A ... SCOTT A door? I.
NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. Ramona opens the door. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime. After a moment alone. raspberry. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. sleepytime. does this help? SCOTT (O.) AAAH! Sorry. Scott ventures upstairs. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness. girl friendly apartment.. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt.. white truffle.very warm..cold! RAMONA (O. green tea. vanilla almond. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me.. He watches as she slips out of her coat. green tea with lemon and honey. I'm just. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket.. liver disaster. constant comment and earl grey. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . ginseng.) Here.S..) That's. ginger with honey. green tea with lemon.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32.S. He wanders towards a half open door. vanilla walnut. blueberry chamomile. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing. 35 INT.S. T A (CONTINUED) . What is that? B Ramona exits. SCOTT (O. Pushing it open. ginger without honey.
Pilgrim.. Ramona breaks off. RAMONA Well.kay..what about our tea? SCOTT I can. Not right now.. revealing black panties to complement black bra. You can sleep in my bed. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything. F T SCOTT Maybe.. Scott takes his shirt off. Scott is in heaven. smiling. A (CONTINUED) . Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline.... They tumble onto the bed and make out. A Ohh... SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you. They look into each others eyes..were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess...since we're so cold... 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him.not have tea. RAMONA I changed my mind.maybe we should both get under it.... And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh.kay.camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session.
and this is. So. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . RAMONA You're welcome. Scott relaxes.oh. thanks. Ramona skates towards the front gate. Whatever this is. SCOTT Hey.that was a joke. Please come. RAMONA I have to work.I think I needed this. Ramona is gone..MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. Scott walking next to her.. RAMONA'S ROOM . WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. just this.. They exchange a smile. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. . we're terrible. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. B A 37 EXT.. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. It's been like a really long time. I didn't even get any.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. 35 SCOTT This is cool. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave.. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34..
37 RAMONA Sure. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A.
At The- “THE ROCKIT. He’s chronically enfeebled. right back next to Scott. SCOTT Oh. far away.. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. hey! It’s tonight. his room-mate. RAMONA Hey. STACEY Excuse my brother. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy.. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. I’m Stacey. He stands with Wallace and Stacey..NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. I did totally come. Scott is so amazed at her presence. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. Ramona is already skating far. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. Scott Pilgrim. She hands him a note. THE ROCKIT . FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”.. . WALLACE Hey. STACEY And this is Wallace. B A F T 38 INT. 212 664-7665. reaching Scott at the bar. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. girl number. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. his social skills vanish. Scott looks back up.
38 STACEY And this is Knives. Stacey stares at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. BACKSTAGE . PROMOTER (O.. wake up. SCOTT I. Wallace stares at Jimmy. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. THE ROCKIT. STILLS We were just on stage.uh. Knives and Ramona stare at each other.. Is this a nightmare? Wake up.. wearing makeup and new clothes.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. To. Scott’sScott goes white. He didn’t even see Knives come in. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. Knives looks kinda sexy. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. He pushes her away. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. Scott scurries off. The sound guy hated us.. People love us. wake up. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. Go. 39 INT. For sound check. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace.
Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage.04 seconds. Please Die. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy.haven't started playing yet. 8 year old girl drummer.. You passed. THE ROCKIT. TOO? CRASH Yes. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. gives Wallace the finger. Jimmy. I am so very very sad. .. and it's called "We Hate You. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. WALLACE Jimmy. THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT. and these are the Boys. TRASHA. 40 INT. STAGE ." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. Kim glowers. STAGE . Wallace yells from the balcony. WALLACE That was a test.INTEGRATED FINAL 37.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . A41 INT. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. BACKSTAGE .CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up." And it goes a little something like this. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. I am Crash. CRASH Thank you.
B A F T A . B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A.
He has so many friends.. STACEY So Knives..CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. . how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. 41 INT. THE ROCKIT. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER.um.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. These guys are good. 43 INT. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience". YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. BACKSTAGE . 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. BALCONY . 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. Stacey turns to Ramona. STAGE . WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. BACKSTAGE . THE ROCKIT. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT.. He's a friend. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. The audience are stunned..
CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole..Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. 45 INT. Scott nods vigorously. TWO. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic.. THE ROCKIT.INTEGRATED FINAL 39. staring at the stage. ANGLE on Knives.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony.. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. THE ROCKIT. She faints in the excitement. BALCONY . sees Stacey talking to Knives. ONE. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT.you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT.. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott. F (CONTINUED) .yeah.... STAGE . He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. So give it up for Sex... KNIVES CHAU Well. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. BACKSTAGE ..you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE. THE ROCKIT.
WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. It is I. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. Matthew Patel.. Alright. Pilgrim.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona.. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air.. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. Patel LANDS like a cat. SCOTT Thank you.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott.. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). Pilgrim. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. Consider our fight. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . MATTHEW PATEL Mr. They land in THE PIT. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. B A Patel RUNS at Scott.
Scott blocks. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Patel punches. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott blocks. then holds his hand up for a time-out.
After a week and a half. They exchange furious blows. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. I told him to hit the showers. non-jock boy in school. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. Scott evades and counter-attacks. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. They pause. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. probably in the entire state. all the little jocks wanted me. . then lands more punches. Matthew was the only non-white. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. Scott jump-spins away from danger. landing kicks and punches. Patel evades. breathing heavy. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. Scott looks up to Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. We only kissed once. in the seventh grade. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. We were one hell of a team. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold.
47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. Scott rolls across the stage. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. you’re not the brightest. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. He flips back onto the stage. narrowly dodging the attack. Patel levitates into the air. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. dodging a third wave of fireballs. It hits Patel square in the eyes. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. Scott hits the ground. Scott dodges.. wait. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. T A (CONTINUED) . 47 SCOTT Dude. Maybe you’ll see.. POOF. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. SCOTT Open your eyes.
Scott lands and picks them up. Coins. BALCONY . They clatter to the stage floor. 48 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . He explodes into COINS.O! Scott punches Patel. Passes Stacey. SCOTT Sweet.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. 47 K. THE ROCKIT.
BALCONY . STAGE .CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) ...NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. THE BUS . Tell your gay friends I said bye. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. Sex Bob-Omb wins.. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. THE ROCKIT. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. who is being resuscitated by Tamara. clapping wildly from the balcony. Ramona takes a breath.so like.. 48 RAMONA Well. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. Ramona yanks Scott away. 50 INT. The Promotor ambles back onstage. it was great meeting you. PROMOTER Yeah. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents.40? That's not even enough for the bus home. $2. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh...CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT. I guess. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out.. SCOTT Aw man.. THE ROCKIT. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives.. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo.INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott.but he is long gone.
The studio audience 'awwww's. I mean me. . Scott kisses Ramona. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat... SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. a spring in his step.maybe first and a half. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date.. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. 52 53 OMITTED INT. I guess. yes. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT So. Do you want to make out? Uh.. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. right? I got to second base last night. Scott bursts through the front door. SCOTT Well. The studio audience applauds. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. someone got to second base last night.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. And someone has a second date tonight. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. what you're saying is.. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. SCOTT Cool..
but.You have to break up with Knives... I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner.. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine... JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. WALLACE If you don't do it. WALLACE Okay. F SCOTT But you. I swear to God.. If you have a problem with it. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy.it's HARD. Today.you're.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives. T A .. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. SCOTT But. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation.. so you can't be here tonight. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee.. Scott. SCOTT You’re a monster. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost. I don't want you gaying up the place. hey. Scott..
INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.
A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. B A Ummm.. SCOTT You suck.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. Hi. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off. hey.. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. 54 EXT.. Knives.. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out.okay. Wallace turns the television way up. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . The next click is me hanging up. Surprising no one.. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes. I am stalking him later. The one after that. Um. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh.is me pulling the trigger.S.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . like.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. SCOTT Oh. 46. bucko. SCOTT So.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. do you want to..S. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. KNIVES CHAU (O. Uh.
. hey. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom.I think that's a really bad idea. pounding inside Scott's head. Well.. 55 INT. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. It’s not my favorite.. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah.. just so bad. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town.. Chinese food? Yeah. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder.INTEGRATED FINAL 47. T (CONTINUED) A . I'm in. KNIVES CHAU No. SCOTT Like. KNIVES CHAU Oh. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care.. really. It's my birthday dinner.. to meet my parents. B A SCOTT Uh. SCOTT And.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store.. it's okay. SONIC BOOM . KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah..LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm.. Like.and.
. 55 Knives is so smitten. Scott brushes it away..I was thinking we should break up or whatever. SCOTT Um. listen. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A. the word actually appears onscreen.
57 SCOTT Oh..it's not going to work out.. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs.um. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. We broke up. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. KIM PINE Scott. thinking about Knives. Kim and Stills share a look. a little happier. 56 INT. thinks of something happier. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. SCOTT Aw. Oh.. YOUNG NEIL You. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. 56 57 INT/EXT. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles. her funky pink hair. thanks.you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) .EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up.. SCOTT Aw.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. leaving Knives in the aisle. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . in shock...DAY Scott sits on the bus alone. thanks.. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2... No. you are the salt of the earth. I meant scum of the earth. KIM PINE Wait..
that’s.. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. SCOTT It’s all blue. Like you said. whether they’re old. Young Neil.. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. Kim. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. YOUNG NEIL Newnew.. I just dyed it. 57 SCOTT Yeah. We were lucky to survive that last round.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp. This is sudden death now. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. RAMONA Yes. Kim mimes shooting herself. B A Scott ushers her in. now sporting BLUE HAIR.. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. RAMONA Hey everyone. but don’t worry.you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) ... weirded out by this hair development. this is Stephen Stills. RAMONA Yeah. new or new-new. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back.
INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Good. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. Get used to it.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. Ramona goes to the bathroom. See you guys tomorrow. Scott drops the act.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . KIM PINE Yeah. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. Scott fake laughs. reading a magazine. YOUNG NEIL .. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah.. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. good.uh. Starts ushering Ramona out again. preparing food as Wallace looks on. SCOTT She changed her hair. dude. Cool.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. SCOTT Okay.. KIM PINE Believe it or not. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half.. I actually dated Scott in high school. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. 58 Ramona lounges. He’s an idiot.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A.
58 SCOTT I know. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. Ramona returns. “when”. good. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. Oh my god. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. Fickle. if you strike out in the next hour. Scott stops Wallace at the door. picnic style. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. Good. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. come find me at the Castle. Impulsive. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. with a panicked whisper. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. A (CONTINUED) . She’s spontaneous.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. Wallace pulls on a jacket. SCOTT Don’t go. See you in sixty.
it goes like this: Ra-mona. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. RAMONA You'd get fat. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. Ooooh. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. Mona. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. Ra-mona.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. Ramona is taken aback. Ra-mona. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. Ra-mona. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. SCOTT No. Ra-ra-ra. Ra-ra-ra. Or just all the time without even stopping. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Mona. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair.
she told me it was mutual.. I can barely remember it. I like it long. It’s just that I got. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears.. T A .. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. NARRATOR It wasn’t. sorry.. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago. But she stopped liking that name. 58 SCOTT Ha. RAMONA Your hair is cute.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53.. three hours before his big breakup. It was brutal. No. Then. SCOTT Not really. It was. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT.. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps.. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. Earl Jones deep. But it’s so long ago. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.she stopped liking me.. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her.. NARRATOR She dumped him. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time.
I don’t know. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. .. F SCOTT Yeah. I just. They’re shooting this movie up here. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. but.. 59 EXT. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat.you make me feel. unless you do. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. I just love me some walking. Not that I do drugs. Putting one leg in front of the other.. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. ENDLESS STAIRWAY .. a castle surrounded by big. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs..I don't know.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. RAMONA Oh. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. T A SCOTT Nooo. Things seem a little brighter around you or something.heightened. in which case I do drugs all the time. as if crossing a magical line. Let’s find out. every drug.. long handrail between them.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. who? SCOTT I forget. bright movie set lights.
He skates towards the set. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. T (CONTINUED) A . doing kickflips. The spectators go “oooh”.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. B A What? Why? Slut.INTEGRATED FINAL 55.D. We gotta go. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. RAMONA Ooh. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. man. CASA LOMA . F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. 60 EXT. I am not a slut. FIRST A. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. RAMONA Oh. Mr. including Wallace. smoking a cigarette (blacked out).
SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal... SCOTT Oh. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON.. it might have been math. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott. We had drama. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56.. who gasps. RAMONA He just followed me around.. Actually. LUCAS LEE Action. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. . who remains oblivious..my... SCOTT . He was a little snot nosed brat.you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade.God. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode. I just remember there being lots of drama.
B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. Fight. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. Evil ex. flooring him. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. How’s life? He seems nice. WALLACE Scott. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. He nods to Ramona. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. . wobbly. crumbling it.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A.
bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team.. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. hey. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face.. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. Scott staggers to his feet. Scott stands to fight the double. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. A . POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground.) Looks like you’re seeing double. all identically dressed. Lucas Lee wanders off.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57.. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN.S. punchy. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic.) Mr. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie.S. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station.. SCOTT Hey. He slides across the wet-down ground. LUCAS LEE He’s good. SCOTT (O. Tae Kwon Doe style. smirking on the sidelines. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. Suddenly.
bro. LUCAS LEE Prepare.. Let’s get a beer. SCOTT You’re needed back on set. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. shocked to see Scott. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. 60 Lucas turns. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh.. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. Lucas offers a hand.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. Scott goes to shake it. .no. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth... Lucas stomps over to him.. framed through the torn skyline. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. well then don't worry about it.. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. preparing for the deathblow.
.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. WALLACE Hi. ese. if it’s too hardcore. HSSSSSSSSS. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. a perfect ollie onto the rail.... 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. SCOTT So you can sell them. Lucas pulls down his shirt.. I have my own skate company. very impressed at Lucas. impressed at Lucas.. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. SCOTT Wow. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. SCOTT Hey. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. revealing a skate company tattoo. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. F T A (CONTINUED) .. bro. Big fan.
WALLACE Wow. HSSSSSSSSS. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph. Scott smacks his forehead. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . he totally bailed. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. 60 SCOTT Wow.. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump.
you can’t say you didn’t see this coming.that’s a wrap everybody. RAMONA is not available. 212 664-7665. she totally bailed. Scott Pilgrim. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . A Scott slumps on the couch.. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. please record your message after the beep. 61 INT. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. phone pressed to his ear.. 60 FIRST A. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. It’s me. you said that last night. Scott again. Call me back. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. T SCOTT Hey.D. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. Uh. . (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. It was right under your nose.
Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. completely shocked at this bombshell.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. RINGY RING. Scott picks up. VOICE (O. then you have to let her know. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. you have to fight for it. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. Scott.) Hey Scott.. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. Look. Scott slides to the floor. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. WALLACE If you want something bad. Break out the L-word.. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. You have the spirit of a warrior. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. guy. A SEXY. Step up your game. it’s “love”. Either way. I need you to move out.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
technically this is not a nightmare.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. but I just cashed my last raincheck. darlin’. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. T SCOTT Listen. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. 62 SHFFF . Prepare to die. . A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. She spins to face Scott. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. SCOTT Wait. I’ve had it today. He’s pissed now.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. SHWAA . SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. SCOTT Okay. obviously. Hits SOMETHING. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob.
MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. (MORE) B A 63 EXT.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. really not up for this. dialing Stacey frantically. SCOTT Oh man. Scott looks to the sky. Someone help me.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. Whatever it is. SCOTT Well. STACEY (O. It’s actually me. But you won’t see me. it’s Scott. I’m really.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A.S. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken. Scott is in his usual payphone.the Mystery Attacker vanishes.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. SCOTT It’s Scott.S. then I’ll see you later. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . BLOOR STREET . baffled. STACEY (O. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right.
And by the way. I’m coming in. Stacey has her back turned.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'.S.) I’m literally about to leave.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. (CONTINUED) . not happy. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter. mouthing that she has to go. THE SECOND CUP . 63 STACEY (O. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. Stacey turns around. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". Are you still working? 65. Scott turns back to Julie. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. SCOTT Cool.
(CONTINUED) A Exes." The icy. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. A . but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. RAMONA SCOTT I mean.. SCOTT Yeah. I do that. RAMONA Yeah. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. Listen. No. No biggie. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. You kind of disappeared.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. I know it's early days. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. SCOTT No. They share an awkward moment. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. She looks at the floor.. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott.. "ENVY ADAMS.. 23. I want to hang.
SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. Ramona goes to order coffee. We’re playing Lee’s Palace.. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So.. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. ENVY Great. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. You guys should like. so totally come. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. I’m jealous. ENVY Okay. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. RAMONA I’m gonna. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. . You’re so on the list.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. I know.excuse me.
This guy Todd. that was Envy.that was Nat? . About. That didn’t end well either.. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. F T RAMONA So. That. How. 65 SCOTT No. SCOTT I can see how it sucks. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . Having the past come back to haunt you. RAMONA And two weeks later.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So...INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. sipping their coffees. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend.. 65 EXT.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. Ramona returns.
INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
I’m not gonna let her toy with me. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. Ramona lounges on the couch.. SCOTT Double negative. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. 66 Scott stands (no pants).NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. 66 INT. Move on.INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. Tricky. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. Scott and Young Neil. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . SCOTT Right. Music swells. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. From this moment on. Ramona stops and kisses him. OTHER SCOTT It’s over.. Mm. B A Word.
STEPHEN STILLS No. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . And Envy asked us to open for them.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night.
We need stalkers. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. . 67 SCOTT I hate you..EVENING B A Yeah. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone.. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. for the band? For the band.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. DRUG SMART . You know. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. pressed against the window. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. We need to get some buzz going.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. We need groundswell. Is a gig. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face.
I look so. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. looking sexy.EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. so he tried to find someone cool but old.. this really burns.so good. KNIVES’ BATHROOM . he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young... you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool..INTEGRATED FINAL 71. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. Knives throws a long scarf on. (CONTINUED) . TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. This is all her fault. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. eyes narrowing. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot. 68A INT. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA.
NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. 71 71 INT. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. as she plots. F T 70 INT. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. We were Sex Bob-Omb.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. Tamara pops into frame. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT.Sold out’. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know.CONTINUOUS A 70 . Bar. LEE'S PALACE . Ramona excuses herself. She knows we suck.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. Now. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. PUSH into Knives. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. But I know how to get him back. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. LEE’S PALACE . LEE’S PALACE . STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. drunk. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . so(to Scott and Kim) Okay.
.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. Or is it. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. confused.. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. LADIES BATHROOM .MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. LEE'S PALACE . "KNIVES CHAU. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. looking hot. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. Knives follows. Briefly. SCOTT Briefly. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. clothes and makeup. 72 INT. standing next to Ramona. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. RAMONA Hey. LEE'S PALACE. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. F T . KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. 17. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. Scott breaks into a cold sweat.
MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. "TODD INGRAM. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD.. MENS BATHROOM .” and “Who. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. I gotta pee. Knives screams her teen brains out. 75 INT. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee..INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. LEE’S PALACE . Oh yeah. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her.. Stares at Scott. Envy lets her coat slip off. (turns beet red) I mean. no longer shrouded in dry ice. 25. (sing songy) Peee time. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd. He’s alone.. (CONTINUED) . You know? Oh yeah. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. EVIL-EX #3. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back.. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. striking ROCK GOD figure. revealing a stunning figure. ENVY in a long black coat.. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. Pee time. he cuts a handsome. LEE’S PALACE.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. A I know.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A. Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors. LEE'S PALACE .LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb. 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT.
SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. Everyone else feels. LEE’S PALACE. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA .. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. RAMONA Hey Todd. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. They’re so much better live. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. YOUNG NEIL Man. you have to see them live. TODD INGRAM Been a while. RAMONA Mmm hmm. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts..NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. Just oh my God. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. Oh. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. Envy. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. Envy burns a hole through Scott.“AWKWARD”.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage.
I like your outfit Ramona. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. Did you get those jeans in New York. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. ENVY Just saying. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. you know? You suit each other. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. You know him.. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. cute couple. Stephen. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. KNIVES CHAU Um. it’s not something I can really put into words. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. ENVY I was just there..Envy? I read your blog. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon.. ENVY So. Envy. in general? T A .. JULIE Ramona lived in New York. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah.
77 Scott looks at Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A. She is about to answer when...Knives stands up. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Scott boils.yy. Hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77.. TODD INGRAM That’s right. choking. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. Todd sits back down like nothing happened. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK.. Scott hovers. Todd smirks.my neck. 77 Envy nods at Todd. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. grasping his neck. JULIE So. ENVY You’re incorrigible. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR.. Her hair is black and plain as before. Of. Out.. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. I’m a rock star. B A F T A (CONTINUED) .. Her..your hair. Young Neil escorts Knives out.. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. SCOTT KK. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT..
TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. SCOTT No kidding.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. despite being in a lot of pain. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. SCOTT If I peed my pants. A (CONTINUED) . I always wondered.. TODD INGRAM Bingo. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. if you knew the science.anyone can be.vegan. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. question. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. He tries to keep cool. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags.. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby.. He moans in pain. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. Scott sails out of shot and into space.. While the others bicker. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man. Ramona helps Scott to his feet.
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. 77 RAMONA It’s not raining. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
) A week and a half later. A brief.. It’s part of the reason I moved here.O. RAMONA (V. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. We wrecked stuff. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. It was pretty crazy.O. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. RAMONA (V.O. Nobody cared. It’s pretty crazy. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy.) We hated everyone. but I used to be kind of. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Look. I guess that’s not very nice.O. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. RAMONA (V.. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. Scott can only fixate on one aspect.like that.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. 77 SCOTT Oh. Nobody cares. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. RAMONA (V. so I dumped him.
SCOTT You used to be so. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. Stills calls through the hole. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. T SCOTT A SCOTT I. Right? ENVY Basically.dislike you. so.Monday. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . 77 Todd appears behind Ramona ..sort of ready for another round. I and he! Scott stands up . Scott CHARGES at Todd. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off....... TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business..cleans up. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds. TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.dust. B A SCOTT Sorry. And the cleaning lady. She dusts. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.nice! F Um. SCOTT He and me. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. call us when you’re done.... We hear a distant CRUMP. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you.ready for another round.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80..
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. 77 ENVY Oh. he’ll be done real soon. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Pilgrim. baby. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. Todd LEVITATES. cringing. Todd floats toward him. ENVY Sorry. savoring the kill. I know. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. floating towards Scott with his bass. Todd calls to a roadie. fauxhawk rising. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. picking the hell out of his bass. Crummy way to end things. Envy grins at Ramona. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. shredding him into oblivion. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. I actually know how to play bass. LEE'S PALACE . Your bass hand is badly injured. 79 (CONTINUED) . He hovers next to him. 78 INT. Suddenly. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. wicked. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. The good one. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. You’re through. amp pegged to 10. LEE’S PALACE. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. Scott turns around on his knees.
79 ENVY I’m sorry. but that's pathetic.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
(CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book. I'll take the one with soy. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. bitch. no vegan powers.. you knowingly ingested Gelato. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. in my mind's eye or whatever. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons.m. takes one of the cups and drinks. Todd floats to the ground. on February 1st. A . imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. I poured soy in this cup. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827.m. tool. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. 7:30 p. SCOTT Actually.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. You know. Thanks. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge.
. Natalie. I know. (CONTINUED) . shooting Envy a look on the way out. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. RAMONA Crummy way to end things.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. So I guess we’re even. SCOTT Maybe they should. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. jaw ajar. disgusted. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. F SCOTT Uh. Julie pops into shot. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. in shock. Now let’s get out of here.. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. Ramona follows. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. sorry I guess. 79 Envy gasps. Envy blinks. Envy stares.
NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb.. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. That Todd guy was cool too. A (CONTINUED) . Ramona and Scott. And hot. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. I am so pissed off for you right now. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys..oh. I liked him. 79 JULIE For the record. 80 INT. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. KIM PINE Then why would we. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. Stills coughs. ENVY Shut the fuck up. It’s an odd mood. Julie. PIZZA PIZZA . WALLACE Envy Adams. on the fringes.
Hey. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. B 81 EXT. lagging behind.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. Yet. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. So let’s go. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go.. AFTER PARTY .NIGHT A Oh. Other Scott whispers to Wallace.. so. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. Ramona falls back with him. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. He shrugs. WALLACE I mean. Scott limps a bit. we can totally go. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. Scott takes another bite. not with fists. Ooh. Oh.
It’s justRAMONA It’s just.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A. 81 SCOTT No. I’m fine. I’m fine...? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
The girls square off.. SCOTT What.. no one can. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. If Gideon can’t have you. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. The League hath spoken. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. B A ROXY Well honey. clearing the busy dance floor.” RAMONA It was just a phase. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. ROXY Back off hasbian. 82 ROXY Oh boy. 23.is.. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face.. F T A (CONTINUED) ..talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE.she. Roxy flips out of the hold.. does she know me.
Mirrored shards fly everywhere. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. Ramona. this is live? Uh huh. ROXY Give it a rest. leaving a dent in it. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. He’s a creep. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. The belt wraps around it. It smashes a speaker. This is a League game. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. With blinding speed.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. you slag. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. F WALLACE Oh yeah. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. She BLOCKS with the hammer. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. RAMONA Believe it. KICK HER IN THE BALLS.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Or possibly feet. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.
.never. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. He lands HARD on the floor. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room.. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown... They’re soft. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. Roxy falls. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. Some sooner than others. winces. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh.. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. still in the splits. RAMONA Whenever we were making out. She grins at Ramona. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms..be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. She staggers. . Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. kicking them apart with the splits. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. ROXY Fight your own battles. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona.
a wave of gossip spreading around the room.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. 82 The party starts up again. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . People text furiously and point fingers at Scott.
RAMONA I really think we should split. She touches her hair.. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. SCOTT Only on special occasions. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. Ramona follows tentatively. The gossip echoes around them. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh.. Ramona tries to lighten things. T A (CONTINUED) . Looks hurt. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. RAMONA Sooooo. Scott has already downed his second drink. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.
Here’s your stupid list. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. Scott looks at the list. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. KATAYANAGI TWINS. A (CONTINUED) .. Ramona leaves. Ramona exits proper. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. INGRAM.” 83 INT. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. I thought you might be more understanding. You. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops.S. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. RICHTER. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes.Ramona returns. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. RAMONA (CONT’D) P. RAMONA Dirty laundry. You’re drunk. It reads“PATEL. I don’t enjoy all this Scott.NIGHT B A But then . In fact I’m sick of it. LEE. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. GIDEON.. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
85 KIM PINE Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . She’s totally here.
INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. SNOW falls onto the stage.S. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. 23. They are chatting. The crowd cheers.. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb.. (CONTINUED) . sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. we can do this.but you should talk to her before she’s gone... She looks happy. Can we do this? I mean. KYLE KATAYANAGI. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. Scott. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. She is totally there. is very serious and Japanese.. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang.. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. KEN KATAYANAGI. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. leaving a huge hole in the roof.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. is serious and very Japanese.. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care..) They brought the house down. Scott turns bleak again. Now an open air venue. Scott and Stills get into battle position. 23.
. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. He struggles to his feet. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. ASSHOLE. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. then helps Kim up. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. We’re done. They share a nod. 37.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. SCOTT Gideon. This is GIDEON GRAVES. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. For once. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. T A (CONTINUED) . Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. they sound awesome. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. Scott. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. SCOTT Alright. Kyle looks at Ken. comes in heavy on the kick drum..
but she and Gideon are gone. The crowd goes bazooky. hovering next to Scott. SCOTT Getting a life. I have something I need to tell you.. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now.. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. He can’t find Ramona. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. I’m not even stalking you. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. Knives watches him go.. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. different. THE NINTH CIRCLE . SCOTT You seem. 86 EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. SCOTT Ramona. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd.was epic.. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. different.. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. Scott follows. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. RAMONA Yeah.. What are you doing? . A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. SCOTT Ramona. eyes narrowing.
Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. And I want you to know. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. Listen. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. I don’t care about any of that stuff. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. really mean it.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. .
.. T RAMONA It’s Gideon.. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. Okay. Scott glowers. Ramona looks at the floor. Stills is ga-ga. A driver opens the passenger door. VOICE (O. Scottie. GIDEON GRAVES You know. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. The Lincoln parks. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. Oh okay. 86 RAMONA Oh. A (CONTINUED) . What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.) That’s the bad news.I can’t help myself around him. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. B A Bob-omb.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99..it's not going to work out. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. captioned “PEE”. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs. I just.. GIDEON GRAVES The good news.. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes.
INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.
can I just say. we should really be thanking each other.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. A . SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. Scott. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. GIDEON And hey. A cough. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. So I guess it all shakes out. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. keep your emotions in check. Kim shrugs and signs it too. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. buddy. I mean. bass in hand. SCOTT Nuh-uh. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. if it wasn’t for me. but if it wasn’t for you. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. you would have never been with Ramona. GIDEON Oh and Scott. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. before trying to hand it back to Scott. A meek Young Neil slides into view. Scott stands alone. she wouldn’t be back with me. There are hand shakes all round. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us.
. A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona.. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . thinking about Ramona. Scott tries desperately to think positive..NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN .INTEGRATED FINAL 100A.... 87 INT. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car...
INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101.NIGHT Scott enters.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . Scott looks at the camera. Flicks the light on. “THONK”. Over PITCH BLACK.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings.. Scott remains in the exact same position. Stacey heads off. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O.S. Gets a shock.. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. STACEY Time heals all wounds.. 88 INT..S. gives Scott a hug. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. F T A STACEY (O. THE PARK . 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. Night turns to day. 88 B A STACEY Oh. staring straight ahead. little brother. Well that’s not so bad. Day turns to night. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. SCOTT Seven.
F SCOTT WALLACE Scott. For sex. SCOTT (O. 88 WALLACE (O. wrapped in a blanket. WALLACE Ah. But I need my own bed tonight.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102. But you know.) Sorry.) It’s Chris. and I apologize for that. VOICE (O. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. it’s probably just because he’s better than you. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. A Right. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT And the year. WALLACE (O.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. That sucks.) Or someone.S. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. I get it.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too.S.S. 89 INT.S. Right. T .) It’s Chris.S. you know I love you. Scott sits in the chair.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O.
INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair. Scott nods. 89 Scott nods. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. it’s gonna be alright.) Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. GIDEON'S LAIR . SCOTT RINGY RING. pal.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. Are you with me? RAMONA (O.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne.S. 91 (CONTINUED) .S. 89 WALLACE Either way. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . INT. I think this fight is over. Scott nods. SCOTT (O. T A Thanks. He calls off.) Hey. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. I don’t want any hard feelings. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. Scott stares at the phone.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy.S. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. Some guy picks up.
92 EXT. Maybe I’ll see you there. STREETS OF TORONTO . SCOTT Mm. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. Well as you know. leaning against a warehouse wall. alarmed.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there.S. Click. amigo. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O.S.S) Sure you did. What do you say? . A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette.) I hope so. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. Whatever. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters.) What a perfect asshole. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. HIPSTER KID Cool. Finish him. Scott turns.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. B Password? Scott shrugs. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing.
Scott steps into the elevator. So far so good. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. B A F T A . WAREHOUSE . HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. HIPSTER KID Cool. 93 INT.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator.
wearing identical outfits.S. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT. YOUNG NEIL on bass. STEPHEN STILLS Well. skinny jeans. looking up at his former bandmates.. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. COMEAU Yeah. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. SCOTT What if I have a beef. Chuck Taylors. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. 94 INT. then you’re doomed. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. their first album is so much better than their first album. They are legion.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. now using SWEET BRAND amps. (CONTINUED) . STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go. Ramona kneels at his side.. COMEAU holds court among them. CHAOS THEATRE . Don’t give him the satisfaction.the CHAOS THEATRE.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes...
SCOTT Well I ain’t moving.O. Gideon stands up. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. Gideon smiles. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. I’m in love with her. flexes. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads.. Scott gets into a fighting stance.buddy. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. whatever. A new power comes over Scott. League. It’s ancient history.. buddy. Gideon loses his cool.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. NARRATOR (V.. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because.. Ramona looks away from Scott.) Scott earned the power of love. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. (CONTINUED) . The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on.
A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. exploding each attacker into COINS. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. My cane. Scott hits the ground HARD. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Gideon approaches. SCOTT Your club sucks. Scott looks to Knives. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. “KNIVES CHAU. and sell out and stuff. by the way. we are here to make money. KNIVES CHAU (O.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. to administer a final blow. ON BEAT. (CONTINUED) . Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD.S. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. both concerned and amazed.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. Then from above. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. Gideon chuckles.. Gideon raises his sword. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. 18 YEARS OLD. He slashes at them to the beat.. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. rolling to a stop.. She lands awkwardly..
94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. T A (CONTINUED) . GIDEON lashes out at Scott. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. I didn’t steal anyone.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. He was warned plenty of times. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. KUNG FU STYLE. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. throwing blocks and punches. separating them. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. distracted by his duelling exes. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. Kung Pao Chicken. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid.
SAND blows through frame... F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott... You can cheat on these ladies all you want.....) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. neither amused. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground. 95 EXT. but. .maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us...cheat.S. GIDEON (O. With you. but you can’t.. Knives. Okay? (beat) I mean. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me.. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109. THE DREAM DESERT .death..DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus.. rubbing his temples.Scott's eyes blink open...
INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. Ramona appears out of nowhere. 95 SCOTT Ugh. fainter than before. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. that’s legitimately disappointing. But he ignored me.. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. SCOTT Well. He just. I mean.. SCOTT That is evil. eh? B A SCOTT Well. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody.. RAMONA Alright. RAMONA He’s like that. self-consciously touching her hair. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. and that’s when he started paying attention. maybe now would be the time to get into it. I was crazy about him. That’s why I had to leave. Ramona covers the chip. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.. he literally has a way of getting into my head. it was me who was obsessed. Dying probably sucks.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110.. has a way of getting into my head. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated.. Seeing as I’m about to die. Scott. the truth is... I really will leave you alone forever now. T A (CONTINUED) . F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. RAMONA No. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy.
. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. DA-DING... A Ahhhhhh. RAMONA Uh-huh. We had a good run.. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand.. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. I guess. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. SCOTT . I really fought for you back there. as Scott enters. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD.. The winds blow harder. SCOTT So. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . .so alone.. Ramona seeming to fade away. Ramona is gone.. He flicks the light on. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. 96 INT. Scott slumps to his knees.
when my journey began. I died. Gideon Graves. Chaos Theatre.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. 96 SCOTT . SCOTT Wallace.S.S.S. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along.S.. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. allies.. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. B A Um. enemies. Sadly. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto.) F T A (CONTINUED) ..INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. during which I totally seized the sword. I don’t want any hard feelings. On PITCH BLACK.S.) Sure thing. But my Mentor. guy. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. There were tests. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. I feel terrible about everything. So I did..) Scott. I need to ask one final favor of you. WALLACE (O. But before I do that. pal.. hands him the phone. I was living in an ordinary world.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. GIDEON GRAVES (O. that’s you. GIDEON GRAVES (O.) Again? WALLACE (O. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. a call I considered refusing..
96 SCOTT Sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. sorry. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. hardcore. exposing his junk.
. WAREHOUSE . 99 INT. 96 SCOTT You seen one. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. From this point forward.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE.. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. 97 EXT.. Young Neil? You have learned well. the new line-up rocks. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. I know what I’m doing.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. 98 INT. COMEAU Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113..AGAIN. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. deadpan as ever. knocking them out. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. Kim shrugs. You guys sound better without me. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me. SCOTT Don’t worry. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) .. CHAOS THEATRE . HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. you shall be known as “Neil”.. Stephen. STREETS OF TORONTO .everything.
99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
let’s do it. A strange new power overcomes Scott. They land on opposite sides of the platform. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. My cane. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. backs to each other.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. You’re pretentious. the club sucks.S. I have beef.. different than before.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. exploding each attacker into COINS. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. T SCOTT No. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. He unsheathes his SWORD. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy.I want to fight you for me. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.. Scott goes straight into fight mode. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES.O. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other. Ramona at his side. LEAPING in the air.
Scott calls out. 99 Gideon falls down.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Dead. apparently.
Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . Knives pulling KNIVES. Ramona staggered. but still grinning.S. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. Ramona rubs the back of her head. stunned. I hurt you. So. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. RAMONA Never felt better. hands held out... All turn to see GIDEON. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. SCOTT No. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. Scott turns to Ramona. She kicks him in the face. Knives steps back. She didn’t mean that.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. Knives. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. taste my steel. They square off. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. And I’m sorry. bloodied. I cheated on you. GIDEON GRAVES (O. I was a different guy back then. Scott jumps between them.you're not a fat ass. Scott GRABS her wrists.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. The CHIP no longer blinks. SCOTT (CONT'D) And.
you got a fight alright. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. Knives joins him. Scott steps into a fighting stance. 99 SCOTT Oh. the three of them ready to rumble. GIDEON Ramona. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE.
Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. Gideon jumps after him. Gideon BLOCKS. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. Gideon hits her back. Knives whips off her scarf. He grins. Knives attacks and scores a hit. expecting her to move. Gideon BLOCKS.his glasses glow. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. knocking her down. Gideon spins again and swings upward. You’re still my girl. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. Gideon swings at Scott. his HEALTH BAR increases. Ramona KICKS. Knives and Ramona. Knives throws her knives. They barely dodge him. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. He cuts big arcs at Scott. Gideon spins low. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. They CLASH in the air. takes a hesitant step towards him. baby. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. She looks doubtful. The swords create an “X”. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. He shakes off the assault and grins. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. Scott leaps in the air. . Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. Scott ducks. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. disarms Scott with one move. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. They fence. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. SCOTT ATTACKS. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. dropping her.
she kicks him in the back of the head. A pain in my ass. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. You’re nothing. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. Knives and Scott share a look. (CONTINUED) . defeated. She lands painfully at the bottom. From the floor. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. Me? I’m what’s hip. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. I’m what’s happening. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. sending him spinning. One lens of his glasses cracks. Not long now.. You’re zero. I’m blowing up right now. 99 Scott lands hard. They Get up and circle Gideon. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are.
SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.S. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid.. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. KIM PINE There goes our deal. Oh. You are blowing up. They share a smile. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. Scott and Knives kiss. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) . Ramona. The coin rain continues. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. makes her way towards them. Gideon’s head EXPLODES.. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. 99 SCOTT You’re right.) You two make a good combo. And you got another thing right. awake now. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. right? Kim points to the falling coins. RAMONA (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117... Right now. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid.
Both take a step forward. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. They chat amiably.. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. Fringed hair.. We just shot the shit. THE WAREHOUSE .yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona.S. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . We actually have a lot in common. Scott and Negascott face off..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118. He’s a super-nice guy. Then.. SCOTT No.. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. This is something I have to face on my own. Knives and Ramona. Evil face... The glasses GLIMMER. They look expectantly at the entrance. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps.but can you defeat. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. nothing.. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw.) You can defeat me. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. Dark clothes... shake hands and part ways. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. worried for Scott.
INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A. 104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. Snow begins to fall. SCOTT I think I understand. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. hoping to slip away. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. He turns to see her. F T Scott calls after her. though. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. Ramona sees this and smiles. B A RAMONA It's hard. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. then realizes Ramona has gone.. literally taking his guard down. SCOTT Hey. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . stops and turns back. you know? I came here to get away. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. but the past keeps catching up. I should probably disappear.. Steps tentatively away from Knives. RAMONA I should tahnk you. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. Where are you going? Ramona. You do? Scott smiles. RAMONA I dunno.
) Hey. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. We hear a COUGH . Ramona walks on into the night alone. then lets it drop. Guitar still in hand.. She turns to walk off again... F KNIVES You earned it.S. RAMONA Well. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. She takes his hand briefly. And stuff. Bye and stuff.. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her.) Go get her. A (CONTINUED) .S. then hearsKNIVES (O. Knives doesn’t look back. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives. Before she’s gone.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. T Surprised. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad. You’ve been fighting for her all along. but thenSCOTT (O. Scott watches.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. I’m too cool for you anyway.Nega Scott also sidles into frame. SCOTT Yeah. We hear a 2ND COUGH .
winter turning to spring.) Oh my God... it was a HUGE fight. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier..4. Literally. night magically turning to day... B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. it was apparently awesome.6. Scott takes it. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could.O. I mean bananas.3. try again? Ramona smiles... 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside..) Oh my God. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars... My little brother kicked a guy’s head off.5. snow swirling around it. Yeah. F JULIE (V..2..O.. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves.... CONTINUE? 10... It was unbelievable... T Over this magical transformation..18.104.22.168. standing right in the middle of the street. . can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater. sunrise coming up over Toronto. A STACEY (V.. Someone seriously should have been filming it. A We see the door with the star on it.
INTEGRATED FINAL 120. 105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .