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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
. Scott winks at the camera. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. Scott grins heroically. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. grumbling.. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. 22 YEARS OLD. books scattering everywhere." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. sits next to her mother. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. THE BUS . Scott winks at Knives. 2 KIM PINE Well. RATING: AWESOME. 17. Knives crouches down to pick up her books.S.. SCOTT (O. MOTHER CHAU. cute and innocent with clothes to match.. .) Hey.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. She's Chinese. 45. demanding.
INTEGRATED FINAL 2A. KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .DAY Back in the kitchen. everyone looks at Scott.. 4 INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN ..
Scott smiles broadly. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. hey. SCOTT Oh. 5 INT/EXT. man. He's the talent.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. I want her to geek out on us. 4 SCOTT Yes. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . really. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. Scott opens the door a crack. Let it be soon. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. Please be good. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . She geeks. Knives. SCOTT She’ll geek. It is. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. this is Stephen Stills. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. She has the capacity to geek. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. B A Hey.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.
Lemme get your coat. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. sticks in her hands. I’m not in the band. that’s Kim...) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim.. guitar. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. drums. wow.. (CONTINUED) .DAY Knives enters. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up.. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. Amps hum to life. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. . STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives.. bass. YOUNG NEIL Oh. KNIVES CHAU Hi. Knives waves. who finally gets it. ratty rug. 6 INT.that’s kind of a big question. KNIVES CHAU Wow.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4.. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi.S. sorry..Zelda. LAME BRAND amps. I just live here.yes. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . SCOTT Knives. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good.Tetris. that’s Young Neil.
SCOTT Yeaaah. Kim.are so. if your life had a face I would punch it. feedback lingering. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. Amazing. jaw ajar. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. F (CONTINUED) .. The song ends. BUS STOP .. SCOTT B A Yeaaah. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM .wait. 7 EXT.Sex Bob-Omb. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR.. what? KIM PINE I mean. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like...amazing.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE... 8 INT. Yeaaah..INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5.. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended. Knives watches. KNIVES CHAU I can't even. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys..
WALLACE'S APARTMENT . .. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. arched eyebrow. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. SCOTT Neil. SCOTT So. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. You're totally my bitch forever. ROOMMATE. 24 YEARS OLD.. Kim. "WALLACE WELLS. I'm dating a 17 year old. ha. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. yes. FUTON included. The whole seventeen year old thing. dark hair. she seems awesome. Don’t tell too many people. WALLACE Yeah. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. turns to Young Neil.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. ha. ha.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. disloyal. you were saying she seems awesome. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. one room apartment. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. SCOTT Yeaaaah.
9 WALLACE Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A. you know me. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
S. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. you will not be served”. YOUNGER SISTER.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. The phone goes. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too." A STACEY (O. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. Scott picks up. SCOTT That’s not true. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. Duh. Don’t tell my sister. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. cute.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. WALLACE (O. 19. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. 9 SCOTT I mean. Scott sinks into an armchair. Knives Chau. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives.S. WALLACE You know me. peppy barista.) You know me. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. starts texting.
.. At all. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. you know? It's just. STACEY Um. Scott. are you legitimately moving on.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. WALLACE I hate you. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. I think she hugged me once. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. SCOTT Well. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. 9 SCOTT Yeah.. Uniformed boys and girls pour out.it’s just nice. you haven’tSCOTT No no no. SCOTT This school has boys too. more like. the whole deal. STACEY Oh my God...INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad.. 10 EXT.simple. STACEY (CONT’D) So. F T A SCOTT I don't know. (CONTINUED) ... so I wouldn't call it dating. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. We haven’t even held hands. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. CATHOLIC SCHOOL .
10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
.. Scott looks at Knives. Run.. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. like.S. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. SCOTT Yeah. CONTINUE appears. counting down: 10. Does he wear glasses? . this is my cool gay roommate. Wow. THE ARCADE . you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison.. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. WALLACE You're too good for him. KNIVES CHAU Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9.9.. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize. 11 INT. The game ends. She digs for quarters. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott.wow.. KNIVES CHAU Oh.. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. Whispers. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION). Wallace Wells. He’s gay. You know. side by side.. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O. T A WALLACE Yes. SCOTT Hey Knives. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move.8.
12 EXT. Hangers click in time. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. but you guys ROCK.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) .INTEGRATED FINAL 10. slices in hand. Knives. F T A A13 INT. Thank you. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. 22. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. . you guys are gonna be HUGE. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. THE GOODWILL . SCOTT Well. "PIZZA PIZZA" . JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. we're already pretty big. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. Bobby. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. Julie. 13 INT.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk.
Julie. (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 13 SCOTT Thank you.
. I heart them so much.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. SCOTT Sorry.. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life.. SCOTT Me neither. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 15 EXT. 11. But that’s just me.no. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A .INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them. so whatever.I've never gone out with someone so talented. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. I've. KNIVES CHAU . you were saying about me? 14 EXT. Scott hugs her. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. SCOTT Yeah. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. KNIVES CHAU Oh. F KNIVES CHAU I mean..
so. rubbing his eyes. THE DREAM DESERT . Wind blows.. skirt and goggles.? . KNIVES CHAU Oh. okay. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals..SCOTT WAKES UP. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God..Scott wanders alone through a barren land. SCOTT Here you go. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. Her pink hair is funky but cool.. SCOTT Oh God.. sitting up in the FUTON.. The light snowfall turns into sand.. Wow. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. . But she's gone.. You're just having some idiotic dream.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. 16 (CONTINUED) . She wears fishnets. Wow. She is hotter than the desert sun... 17 INT..so alone.. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott... KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. an army jacket. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure.
WALLACE What is it. Scott opens the bathroom door. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house.. Wallace rubs his eyes. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. Other Scott goes back to sleep. SCOTT No. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. six in the morning. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream.. it wasn’t her. F T A . weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like. 17 WALLACE What is it. OTHER VOICE Oh God.. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested.. Sunlight ignites the room. It was somebody new. Scott? A scruffy. WALLACE Speaking of new. 22. SCOTT But there was this girl.
INTEGRATED FINAL 13A. 18 INT. THE LIBRARY .DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again.. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION.. head still in the clouds. Let’s talk about something else. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. He carries a stack of books for Knives.. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .uh. STEPHEN STILLS (O. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library.. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts.CA to the librarian. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. I’ll be quieter.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl.S. SCOTT It was. SCOTT Uh. KNIVES CHAU I’ll.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. Time slows to a crawl... SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. (CONTINUED) . A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch.my hand slipped.
. man. T SCOTT Ugh. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. KIM PINE We're going to this party. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. But. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. so.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. you know. Scott's head is still in the clouds. 21 INT. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT .. retard. there may be some label guys there.. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's.. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . Both have red plastic cups in hand. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. 19 SCOTT Sorry. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. Kim Pine.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. Scott exits frame. This is going to suck.this sucks. what are we doing? 20 EXT. F SCOTT Aw. I thought you guys split..NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. SCOTT . YOUNG NEIL I have to pee.. JULIE'S HOUSE .
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
24. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. 22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE.
. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. Got a job with Amazon. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. Aged 8” and yet. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. JULIE She just moved here. Now. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. arms crossed. SCOTT Yeah. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. Stephen Stills is with her. Scott does not.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know.. Comes into my work. SANDRA Some guy back in New York.Flowers.. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass.
But I didn't want Scott to know that. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A.. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .yes.. Stephen.
We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. SCOTT looks to KIM. He’s totally dating a high schooler. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. let’s leave it at that. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. she justJULIE Scott. . me and Kim are all good now. JULIE Whatever. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. 22 SCOTT Yeah. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. We hear the sound of arctic winds. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. Ramona is out of your league. whoa. I don't know what it is about that girl. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona.
WALLACE You think he’s. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. F T (CONTINUED) A .. Wallace storms in. that girl. 20.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. Wallace flops onto the futon... B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. WALLACE There he is.NIGHT Scott lies on the futon.. and hey! There she is. From my dream. WIDE awake.. landing next to Scott. WALLACE Girl... I don't know what it is about that girl. SCOTT So. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup. Okay. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ..can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams.. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. WALLACE Library. 23 WALLACE You guess right. SCOTT I think she’s..
Who told you? STACEY Duh. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) .. 23 WALLACE Mmm.. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. who is out cold.. cellphone in hand. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever..up.. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.girlfriend. I should send out a mass text about this. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. friend.. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it..INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. RINGY RING! Scott answers.fake. Bye.... Wallace. B A STACEY Well. Wallace drifts off. SCOTT Wait. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace. SCOTT What’s that? Break.high school. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something.
SCOTT "Dear Mr.hmm. Moments pass. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days... WALLACE Scott. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK... how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O..ca.. .. Scott sits at Wallace's computer. My name is Matthew Patel. This is.. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon.” Scott walks to the front door.. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.Amazon.this is... Pilgrim..) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright. 23 SCOTT Wallace...!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon.S.. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE .THIS IS.ca..
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest. WALLACE It's the weekend. 23 SCOTT Maybe.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A.
Scott doesn't eat. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy.. That’s cute. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. 26 EXT.DAY A .DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. still distracted..INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. B 25 INT. SCOTT That's sucky..DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. SONIC BOOM . his thoughts elsewhere. Scott JUMPS to his feet. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. Knives chows down on a slice. PIZZA PIZZA . 23 DINGY DONG. Uh huh.. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door. THE GOODWILL . He plasters on his best fake smile. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. SCOTT Attack hug. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. out of sync.
.INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A.but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek. SCOTT I tell ya'.. B A F T A . 26 KNIVES CHAU .
KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on.. I think.. Knives BURSTS into frame.. everybody.. (CONTINUED) . On. Scott plays halfheartedly. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.B.I think.S.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. 3... Scott takes a deep breath. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott..) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off. alone by the window.1. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up. NegaNinja. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show.. This is never easy. but he messes up. KNIVES CHAU (O..EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives. THE ARCADE . SCOTT Um. his timing off.8..10... 28 INT. 27 INT.B. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday.2. A NEGANINJA . The Rockit. side by side. Scott tunes his bass. Game.. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh. staring out. And even better? It’s the T.squares up against Scott’s avatar.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Scott winces..I...INTEGRATED FINAL 24..9.
KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. F Oh. man. This guy at work was like "Steve. Great.) Oh my gosh. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) .) Crash and the Boys.. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. Knives can barely contain herself. It’ll be the cool kids too.. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. She grabs Scott.S. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O.S. SCOTT Sure. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. KNIVES CHAU (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25.
) Oh my gosh.S. .) Yeah. they suck. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.S. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.
a long. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces. RAMONA Um. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. that's okay. Scott runs after her. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. no. Scott exits the bathroom. I was thinking about asking you out. it's just like.. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. but then I realized how stupid that would be. entering. down a row of LOCKERS leading to. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up.. around a corner. I dreamt you were delivering me this package. DINGY DONG. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all... BATHROOM . SCOTT RAMONA No. A (CONTINUED) . um.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT.. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use.MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right.... THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. 29 INT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . and you were in my dream.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie.? 30 . RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door.. skating past Scott and down the hall. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door.. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY.. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi. He stares at himself in the mirror.INTEGRATED FINAL 26. 30 INT..
am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. That's how it works. you're like American? RAMONA Why.. That was some total ass. you'll leave. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. RAMONA You still have to sign. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. RAMONA You know. SCOTT Okay well.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me.. SCOTT But if I sign for it. Not even.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. Noooooo. RAMONA Yeah. She gives him a pen. (CONTINUED) F T A . SCOTT So.... Scott stands in awe of Ramona. You’d be impressed. right? I've lived here forever. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. I mean.. I was the other guy.you need to sign for this.
The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them.. yeah... SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. I'm totally waiting on you. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. . SCOTT Sorry..if that's cool. And throws the package straight in the trash. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. RAMONA I need to find a new route. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. 31 SCOTT You are like. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line..my dream girl.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. You assumed wrong. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um. Oh.you know. RAMONA Well. So..INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28. PARK . I just assumed you were too cool to be on time.
... 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park.. They sit on some swings in the park. SCOTT This is good..is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs.a friend. RAMONA He’s.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess.. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. F SCOTT Is Gideon. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs. RAMONA This is good. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so.
T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. .. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. RAMONA Yeah. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. B A Um. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. SCOTT Well. It’s weird. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much.. RAMONA Uh. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. it’s certainly chilled here. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. Chilled as in cold.
SCOTT So this is a 'date'. Ramona walks away. I believe you.. RAMONA This is ridiculous. SCOTT I feel so stupid. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. night’s not over yet. 34 SCOTT It’s.. RAMONA Dude. A Tongue. SCOTT Yeah. you’re probably not that stupid.. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. Laughing..... yeah. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. Wallace is pretty gay. mostly stupid. RAMONA Anyway. The snowfall gets heavier.. RAMONA Well. no. You're too desperate to be gay. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. Ramona hops off her swing... relax. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. I can barely see you. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. .. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A.. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. SCOTT A door? I... I. I’m blind. Help me. I can’t see you..
vanilla almond. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing. girl friendly apartment.S. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness.) AAAH! Sorry. He wanders towards a half open door. ginger with honey. 35 INT. Ramona opens the door.cold! RAMONA (O.) That's. sleepytime.. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry.. does this help? SCOTT (O. vanilla walnut. After a moment alone. T A (CONTINUED) . I'm just. SCOTT (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32.. Scott ventures upstairs. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. white truffle. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt...S.very warm.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. constant comment and earl grey.) Here. raspberry. green tea with lemon. ginger without honey. blueberry chamomile. green tea. He watches as she slips out of her coat. green tea with lemon and honey. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness.S. What is that? B Ramona exits.. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime. liver disaster. Pushing it open. ginseng. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket.
not have tea.since we're so cold. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him... F T SCOTT Maybe... SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you.. smiling. RAMONA I changed my mind. RAMONA Well. Scott takes his shirt off.. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything... And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later. They look into each others eyes. Ramona breaks off.. Scott is in heaven.what about our tea? SCOTT I can..kay.kay.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33.. A (CONTINUED) . revealing black panties to complement black bra.. A Ohh.camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. Pilgrim.. Not right now. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess.maybe we should both get under it... Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline.. You can sleep in my bed. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh. They tumble onto the bed and make out.. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you.
B A 37 EXT. Ramona is gone. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. . So. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. Please come. and this is.I think I needed this. RAMONA'S ROOM . thanks.oh. just this.that was a joke. 35 SCOTT This is cool. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens.... I didn't even get any... It's been like a really long time. Scott relaxes. Scott walking next to her. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. Ramona skates towards the front gate. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing.. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. we're terrible. SCOTT Hey. Whatever this is. RAMONA I have to work. They exchange a smile. RAMONA You're welcome.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel.
INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 37 RAMONA Sure.
. Scott is so amazed at her presence. hey! It’s tonight.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. STACEY Excuse my brother. I did totally come. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. his room-mate. I’m Stacey. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS.. SCOTT Oh. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. WALLACE Hey. She hands him a note. STACEY And this is Wallace. THE ROCKIT . 212 664-7665. He stands with Wallace and Stacey.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. Scott looks back up. Ramona is already skating far. He’s chronically enfeebled.. Scott Pilgrim. far away. reaching Scott at the bar. RAMONA Hey. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses.. B A F T 38 INT. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. his social skills vanish.At The- “THE ROCKIT.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. right back next to Scott. girl number. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. .
STILLS We were just on stage. He pushes her away. THE ROCKIT.. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. Scott’sScott goes white. He didn’t even see Knives come in. Wallace stares at Jimmy.. Knives looks kinda sexy. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. SCOTT I. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace.. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing.. People love us. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36.uh. Scott scurries off. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. 39 INT. To. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. For sound check. wake up. Go. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . PROMOTER (O. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. wearing makeup and new clothes.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. wake up. Stacey stares at Scott. BACKSTAGE . SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. The sound guy hated us.
gives Wallace the finger. WALLACE Jimmy. . GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. Please Die. WALLACE That was a test.. and these are the Boys." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. STAGE .CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . CRASH Thank you. THE ROCKIT. You passed. STAGE . Jimmy. A41 INT. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. I am so very very sad..CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. 40 INT. Kim glowers. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. THE ROCKIT. 8 year old girl drummer. and it's called "We Hate You.04 seconds.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage." And it goes a little something like this. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. TOO? CRASH Yes.INTEGRATED FINAL 37. I am Crash. TRASHA.haven't started playing yet. THE ROCKIT. BACKSTAGE . Wallace yells from the balcony.
INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate. B A F T A .
A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience".CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. STAGE . BALCONY . Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. THE ROCKIT. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. These guys are good. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. BACKSTAGE . 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow.CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. THE ROCKIT.. 43 INT. He has so many friends. THE ROCKIT. 41 INT.. STACEY So Knives. BACKSTAGE ..um.. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes. The audience are stunned. . WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. He's a friend.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. Stacey turns to Ramona. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever.
CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and... barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole. ANGLE on Knives. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes.. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. She faints in the excitement.. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. So give it up for Sex. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic.. staring at the stage. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE.you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim.. THE ROCKIT.INTEGRATED FINAL 39.. Scott nods vigorously.CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers. 45 INT.. STAGE .Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on.. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT. TWO. BALCONY .you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. BACKSTAGE . THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT.yeah. sees Stacey talking to Knives.. KNIVES CHAU Well. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott. ONE. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. F (CONTINUED) .
MATTHEW PATEL Mr. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). SCOTT Thank you.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. Alright.. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe... Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. Pilgrim. It is I. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right.. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. Consider our fight. They land in THE PIT. Patel LANDS like a cat. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. Matthew Patel. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . Pilgrim.
then holds his hand up for a time-out. Scott blocks. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott blocks. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. Patel punches.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A.
After a week and a half. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. breathing heavy. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. Scott looks up to Ramona. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. in the seventh grade. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. then lands more punches. We were one hell of a team. They pause. landing kicks and punches. non-jock boy in school. Scott evades and counter-attacks. Scott jump-spins away from danger.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. We only kissed once. Patel evades. all the little jocks wanted me. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. I told him to hit the showers. probably in the entire state. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. Matthew was the only non-white. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. . so we joined forces and took 'em all out. They exchange furious blows. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK.
INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.
He flips back onto the stage. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. T A (CONTINUED) . Scott dodges. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. It hits Patel square in the eyes. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. SCOTT Open your eyes. Patel levitates into the air.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings.. Scott hits the ground. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. you’re not the brightest. Maybe you’ll see. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. dodging a third wave of fireballs. narrowly dodging the attack. 47 SCOTT Dude. wait.. Scott rolls across the stage. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. POOF. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible.
48 INT. SCOTT Sweet. They clatter to the stage floor. Scott lands and picks them up. Coins.O! Scott punches Patel.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. Passes Stacey. BALCONY . 47 K. He explodes into COINS. THE ROCKIT.
BALCONY . Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. I guess. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's.. STAGE . SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT.. THE ROCKIT. SCOTT Aw man. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake..CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT.so like. Ramona takes a breath. who is being resuscitated by Tamara..INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43.. The Promotor ambles back onstage. THE BUS . A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. clapping wildly from the balcony. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives. it was great meeting you. 48 RAMONA Well..but he is long gone.40? That's not even enough for the bus home. Sex Bob-Omb wins. Tell your gay friends I said bye... RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. PROMOTER Yeah.. $2. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. THE ROCKIT. 50 INT. Ramona yanks Scott away.
SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. . And someone has a second date tonight. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. I mean me. Scott kisses Ramona. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. someone got to second base last night. Scott bursts through the front door. right? I got to second base last night. SCOTT Cool.. 52 53 OMITTED INT. The studio audience 'awwww's. SCOTT Well... Do you want to make out? Uh. SCOTT So.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. yes.. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date.. I guess. what you're saying is. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .maybe first and a half. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. a spring in his step. The studio audience applauds..
I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. I don't want you gaying up the place.You have to break up with Knives. SCOTT But. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. WALLACE If you don't do it. If you have a problem with it... JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly.you're. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh.... SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine.. T A . But in return I have to issue an ultimatum.. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. hey. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. WALLACE Okay. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost.. Scott.but.it's HARD. Scott. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives... F SCOTT But you. so you can't be here tonight. SCOTT You’re a monster. Today. I swear to God.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45.
INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
.. Hi. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off. B A Ummm.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. 54 EXT. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh.. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. The one after that. SCOTT So. like. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O.S..INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. SCOTT You suck. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. bucko. I am stalking him later.okay. KNIVES CHAU (O. Wallace turns the television way up. Uh.is me pulling the trigger..) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . SCOTT Oh. Knives. The next click is me hanging up. 46. Um. Surprising no one. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing..S. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . hey. do you want to.
It’s not my favorite. to meet my parents. SCOTT And. really.. SCOTT Like. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom.. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. just so bad. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah. T (CONTINUED) A ...are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care..INTEGRATED FINAL 47. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah.. B A SCOTT Uh.. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. It's my birthday dinner. it's okay. Chinese food? Yeah.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. Like. pounding inside Scott's head. I'm in.and.I think that's a really bad idea. Well. hey.. KNIVES CHAU No. SONIC BOOM .DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store.. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town. 55 INT. I wanted to invite you over for dinner.. KNIVES CHAU Oh.
The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop. SCOTT Um.. listen.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A. the word actually appears onscreen.I was thinking we should break up or whatever. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott brushes it away.. 55 Knives is so smitten.
um. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune.. YOUNG NEIL You. in shock. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. her funky pink hair.. I meant scum of the earth. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out..... B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. No. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . Kim and Stills share a look. thinking about Knives. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles..it's not going to work out. thanks. SCOTT Aw.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone. a little happier.EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. thanks. 56 INT. you are the salt of the earth. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store.. We broke up. Oh. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs.. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . 57 SCOTT Oh. thinks of something happier.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48.you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . KIM PINE Wait. leaving Knives in the aisle. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. 56 57 INT/EXT. KIM PINE Scott.. SCOTT Aw. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2.
.. Like you said. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. 57 SCOTT Yeah. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp. that’s. SCOTT It’s all blue. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. RAMONA Yeah. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. whether they’re old.. This is sudden death now. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey... Scott opens the door to see Ramona. now sporting BLUE HAIR. Kim mimes shooting herself. We were lucky to survive that last round. RAMONA Hey everyone.. Kim. RAMONA Yes.you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . Young Neil. new or new-new. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. this is Stephen Stills. B A Scott ushers her in. weirded out by this hair development. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. I just dyed it. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. but don’t worry. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it.
INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. reading a magazine.. Scott fake laughs. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Ramona goes to the bathroom. KIM PINE Yeah. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. 58 Ramona lounges. SCOTT Okay. He’s an idiot. dude.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. KIM PINE Believe it or not. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. Get used to it. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area.. SCOTT She changed her hair. Good. Cool. I actually dated Scott in high school. Starts ushering Ramona out again. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. YOUNG NEIL . good. preparing food as Wallace looks on. Scott drops the act. See you guys tomorrow. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah.uh..INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said..
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A.
See you in sixty. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. Fickle. with a panicked whisper. “when”. Impulsive. Good. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. come find me at the Castle. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. She’s spontaneous. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. 58 SCOTT I know. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. A (CONTINUED) . good. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. picnic style. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. if you strike out in the next hour. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. Ramona returns. Scott stops Wallace at the door. Oh my god. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT Don’t go. Wallace pulls on a jacket.
Mona. Mona. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. Ooooh. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. RAMONA You'd get fat. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT No. Ramona is taken aback. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. Ra-mona. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. it goes like this: Ra-mona. Or just all the time without even stopping. Ra-mona. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Ra-mona. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. A (CONTINUED) . Ra-ra-ra. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Ra-ra-ra.
. sorry... now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. three hours before his big breakup. RAMONA Your hair is cute.. Earl Jones deep. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. But she stopped liking that name.she stopped liking me. I like it long.. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. NARRATOR It wasn’t. 58 SCOTT Ha. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago.. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean. T A . No. Then. SCOTT Not really.. It was. It’s just that I got.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears. I can barely remember it... A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. But it’s so long ago. NARRATOR She dumped him. she told me it was mutual. It was brutal.
as if crossing a magical line. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. They’re shooting this movie up here. a castle surrounded by big. Putting one leg in front of the other. long handrail between them. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA.heightened. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY.. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. .. Not that I do drugs. in which case I do drugs all the time. ENDLESS STAIRWAY . every drug.. I don’t know. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy.. F SCOTT Yeah. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. I just love me some walking.I don't know. 59 EXT. who? SCOTT I forget.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY..INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. T A SCOTT Nooo. but. Let’s find out. unless you do. I just.you make me feel. RAMONA Oh.. bright movie set lights. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. Things seem a little brighter around you or something.
T (CONTINUED) A . He skates towards the set. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. including Wallace. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. Mr. RAMONA Ooh.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. smoking a cigarette (blacked out).INTEGRATED FINAL 55. man. I am not a slut. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. B A What? Why? Slut. doing kickflips. FIRST A. 60 EXT. We gotta go. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. RAMONA Oh. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. CASA LOMA . The spectators go “oooh”.D.
Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. it might have been math. SCOTT Oh.. He was a little snot nosed brat. Actually. We had drama. I just remember there being lots of drama.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56.. LUCAS LEE Action. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott.you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade.. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. RAMONA He just followed me around. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey.. .. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade. who gasps. who remains oblivious. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott.God. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass... Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode..my. SCOTT .
Evil ex. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. wobbly. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. WALLACE Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. How’s life? He seems nice. Fight. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. flooring him. . then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. He nods to Ramona. crumbling it.
Tae Kwon Doe style..S.S. A . bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. SCOTT Hey. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. LUCAS LEE He’s good.) Looks like you’re seeing double. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. He slides across the wet-down ground. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. Scott staggers to his feet. SCOTT (O. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. Lucas Lee wanders off.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic.. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. Scott stands to fight the double. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. punchy. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. all identically dressed. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station..) Mr.. Suddenly. smirking on the sidelines. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. hey. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O.
F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) .. Lucas stomps over to him. LUCAS LEE Prepare. bro. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. Lucas offers a hand... Let’s get a beer. Scott goes to shake it. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. SCOTT You’re needed back on set.. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. shocked to see Scott.no. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop.. Scott smiles through his aching jaw.. . framed through the torn skyline. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. preparing for the deathblow. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. well then don't worry about it. 60 Lucas turns.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58.
Cut back to Scott & Wallace. SCOTT So you can sell them. SCOTT Wow. bro. F T A (CONTINUED) . Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. SCOTT Hey. HSSSSSSSSS. Big fan.. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs.. a perfect ollie onto the rail... impressed at Lucas.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. revealing a skate company tattoo.. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL... SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. very impressed at Lucas. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. ese. if it’s too hardcore.. I have my own skate company. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard. WALLACE Hi.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. Lucas pulls down his shirt. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board.
SCOTT Yes! Fist bump.. Scott smacks his forehead. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs. WALLACE Wow.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph. HSSSSSSSSS.. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . he totally bailed. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. 60 SCOTT Wow.
SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. It was right under your nose. 61 INT.. 60 FIRST A. Scott again. phone pressed to his ear. you said that last night. Call me back. . please record your message after the beep. It’s me. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. 212 664-7665. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). WALLACE'S APARTMENT .that’s a wrap everybody. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy.D. Uh. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. A Scott slumps on the couch.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. she totally bailed. T SCOTT Hey. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's.. RAMONA is not available. Scott Pilgrim.
B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . Lesbians? Scott’s face falls.) Hey Scott. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. A SEXY. Scott picks up. Break out the L-word. then you have to let her know. WALLACE If you want something bad. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. Look. Either way.. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. Scott slides to the floor. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. it’s “love”. you have to fight for it. You have the spirit of a warrior. Step up your game. RINGY RING. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61.S. completely shocked at this bombshell. guy. I need you to move out. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow.. VOICE (O. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. Scott.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
Hits SOMETHING.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. 62 SHFFF . . obviously. I’ve had it today. SHWAA . am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. SCOTT Okay.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. He’s pissed now. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. She spins to face Scott. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. Prepare to die. technically this is not a nightmare. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. T SCOTT Listen. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. darlin’. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. SCOTT Wait. but I just cashed my last raincheck.
But you won’t see me. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. SCOTT It’s Scott. Someone help me. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . it’s Scott. really not up for this. Whatever it is.S. dialing Stacey frantically. STACEY (O.S. BLOOR STREET . MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken. SCOTT Well.the Mystery Attacker vanishes.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. It’s actually me. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. I’m really. Scott is in his usual payphone. SCOTT Oh man. STACEY (O. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. then I’ll see you later. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . Scott looks to the sky. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. baffled.
THE SECOND CUP . And by the way. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". 63 STACEY (O. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter.) I’m literally about to leave. Stacey has her back turned.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. Are you still working? 65. Scott turns back to Julie. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. I’m coming in. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. SCOTT Cool. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. (CONTINUED) . mouthing that she has to go. Stacey turns around. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about.S. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside. not happy.
No. You kind of disappeared. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl." The icy. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. She looks at the floor. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster.. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. They share an awkward moment. SCOTT No. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. 23. Listen.. RAMONA Yeah. I know it's early days. No biggie. SCOTT Yeah. I do that. A . FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS.. "ENVY ADAMS. (CONTINUED) A Exes. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. I want to hang.. RAMONA SCOTT I mean.
. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. SCOTT Yeah. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy.. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah.. ENVY Great. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. ENVY Okay. We’re playing Lee’s Palace.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. You guys should like. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. You’re so on the list. so totally come.excuse me. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. Ramona goes to order coffee. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. I’m jealous. I know. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. RAMONA I’m gonna.
. That didn’t end well either. How. About. Ramona returns. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once.that was Nat? . 65 SCOTT No. Having the past come back to haunt you..DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. 65 EXT.. sipping their coffees. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. F T RAMONA So. This guy Todd. That. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend. SCOTT I can see how it sucks.. RAMONA And two weeks later. that was Envy.
INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. SCOTT Double negative. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim.. 66 Scott stands (no pants). From this moment on. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . OTHER SCOTT It’s over. Ramona lounges on the couch. SCOTT Right. Ramona stops and kisses him.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. Scott and Young Neil. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. B A Word. Move on. Tricky. 66 INT.. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. Music swells.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. Mm.
The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. And Envy asked us to open for them. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. STEPHEN STILLS No.
G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. 67 SCOTT I hate you. You know. We need groundswell... we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. . STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. DRUG SMART . Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows.EVENING B A Yeah. We need to get some buzz going. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. for the band? For the band. pressed against the window. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. Is a gig. We need stalkers. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. SCOTT Yeah. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it.
Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. eyes narrowing. 68A INT.I look so. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA.INTEGRATED FINAL 71. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. (CONTINUED) . KNIVES’ BEDROOM . so he tried to find someone cool but old. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot. Knives throws a long scarf on..EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. this really burns. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl. looking sexy.so good. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. This is all her fault. KNIVES’ BATHROOM ... he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool..
LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . LEE’S PALACE . Ramona excuses herself. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. LEE'S PALACE . She knows we suck. 71 71 INT. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. Tamara pops into frame. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. drunk. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer.NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. F T 70 INT. LEE’S PALACE .Sold out’. We were Sex Bob-Omb. But I know how to get him back. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay.CONTINUOUS A 70 .INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. Bar. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. as she plots. Now. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. PUSH into Knives.
She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. confused. Briefly. LADIES BATHROOM . KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona.. 72 INT. standing next to Ramona. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. SCOTT Briefly. LEE'S PALACE . RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. F T . Knives follows. 17. LEE'S PALACE.. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. RAMONA Hey. looking hot. clothes and makeup. Or is it. "KNIVES CHAU. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar.
revealing a stunning figure.. Oh yeah. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee.. You know? Oh yeah. (CONTINUED) ... with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody.. Envy lets her coat slip off. striking ROCK GOD figure. I gotta pee.. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. Pee time.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. 25.” and “Who. A I know. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. EVIL-EX #3.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. "TODD INGRAM. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. MENS BATHROOM . (sing songy) Peee time. ENVY in a long black coat. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. He’s alone.MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. (turns beet red) I mean. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her. LEE’S PALACE . no longer shrouded in dry ice. Knives screams her teen brains out. Stares at Scott. 75 INT. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. LEE’S PALACE. he cuts a handsome.
Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A. LEE'S PALACE .LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb. 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT.
. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. you have to see them live. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. Envy burns a hole through Scott. TODD INGRAM Been a while. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. Just oh my God. Envy. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. YOUNG NEIL Man. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . Oh. Everyone else feels.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. RAMONA Hey Todd. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. They’re so much better live.“AWKWARD”. LEE’S PALACE.. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. RAMONA Mmm hmm. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this.
JULIE Ramona lived in New York.. in general? T A . ENVY So. Stephen. you know? You suit each other. ENVY Just saying.. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. Envy. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. I like your outfit Ramona. cute couple.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. KNIVES CHAU Um. Did you get those jeans in New York. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. You know him. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah.. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say.Envy? I read your blog. ENVY I was just there. it’s not something I can really put into words. Todd and Julie glare at Knives.. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76.
77 Scott looks at Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A.Knives stands up. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A . She is about to answer when...
SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights.. JULIE So. ENVY You’re incorrigible. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. Her... Out.. Young Neil escorts Knives out. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT..my neck. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. Todd smirks.. SCOTT KK. I’m a rock star. grasping his neck. Her hair is black and plain as before. Hair. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage.yy. 77 Envy nods at Todd. Scott boils. Todd sits back down like nothing happened.your hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. TODD INGRAM That’s right. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . Scott hovers. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. Of. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. choking. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet...
F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air.vegan..anyone can be. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. question. TODD INGRAM Bingo. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags.. I always wondered. He moans in pain. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. He tries to keep cool.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. A (CONTINUED) . maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. if you knew the science. Ramona helps Scott to his feet. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man.. despite being in a lot of pain. Scott sails out of shot and into space. SCOTT If I peed my pants. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe.. SCOTT No kidding. While the others bicker. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well.
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. 77 RAMONA It’s not raining. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
so I dumped him. Nobody cares. A brief. Nobody cared. but I used to be kind of.. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. RAMONA (V.O. RAMONA Look.O. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. We wrecked stuff..) We hated everyone. A (CONTINUED) . B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. RAMONA (V. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona.) He punched a hole in the moon for me.O.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. It was pretty crazy.like that. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. RAMONA (V. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. It’s pretty crazy. It’s part of the reason I moved here. I guess that’s not very nice. RAMONA (V.) A week and a half later. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes.O. 77 SCOTT Oh.
. T SCOTT A SCOTT I. Right? ENVY Basically. Scott CHARGES at Todd.. STEPHEN STILLS Uh.Monday. B A SCOTT Sorry. SCOTT You used to be so. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. so.. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds...sort of ready for another round. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business.dislike you.dust.. call us when you’re done.ready for another round. And the cleaning lady. She dusts. We hear a distant CRUMP....nice! F Um. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.cleans up. I and he! Scott stands up . Stills calls through the hole. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) ..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80.. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona . What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. SCOTT He and me.
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. 77 ENVY Oh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . he’ll be done real soon.
amp pegged to 10. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. Todd LEVITATES. Todd calls to a roadie. Envy grins at Ramona. wicked. Pilgrim. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. The good one. ENVY Sorry. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. baby. LEE'S PALACE . 79 (CONTINUED) . You’re through. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. Suddenly. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. cringing. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. Crummy way to end things. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. picking the hell out of his bass. shredding him into oblivion. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. Your bass hand is badly injured. floating towards Scott with his bass. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. 78 INT. LEE’S PALACE.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. fauxhawk rising. savoring the kill. I know. I actually know how to play bass. Scott crashes into a backstage food table.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. Scott turns around on his knees. He hovers next to him. Todd floats toward him.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . but that's pathetic.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. 79 ENVY I’m sorry.
on February 1st. A . you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan.m. you knowingly ingested Gelato. no vegan powers.. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. Todd floats to the ground. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. Thanks. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram.m. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. bitch. tool. 7:30 p. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. SCOTT Actually. You know. I'll take the one with soy. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. takes one of the cups and drinks.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. in my mind's eye or whatever. I poured soy in this cup. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book.
Julie pops into shot. 79 Envy gasps. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. I know. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. (CONTINUED) . in shock. Now let’s get out of here. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. So I guess we’re even.. Ramona follows. sorry I guess. disgusted. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. SCOTT Maybe they should. F SCOTT Uh.. Natalie. Envy blinks.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. jaw ajar. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. shooting Envy a look on the way out. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. Envy stares. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall.
NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. WALLACE Envy Adams. Ramona and Scott. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. It’s an odd mood. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party.. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. KIM PINE Then why would we. A (CONTINUED) .. 80 INT. 79 JULIE For the record. PIZZA PIZZA .INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. Julie. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. I liked him. That Todd guy was cool too. ENVY Shut the fuck up. I think a third of the band just went “poom”.oh. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. on the fringes. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. I am so pissed off for you right now. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. And hot. Stills coughs. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. STEPHEN STILLS Neil.
we can totally go. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. Ooh. Yet. B 81 EXT.NIGHT A Oh. so. AFTER PARTY . Hey. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. Oh. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go.. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. Scott limps a bit. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. lagging behind. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. Ramona falls back with him. Scott takes another bite.. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . So let’s go. not with fists. WALLACE I mean. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. He shrugs.
81 SCOTT No.. I’m fine. It’s justRAMONA It’s just. I’m fine.? B A (CONTINUED) F T A ..INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
The League hath spoken. no one can.she.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. If Gideon can’t have you. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North. F T A (CONTINUED) . 23.. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE.. The girls square off. Roxy flips out of the hold.. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious. ROXY Back off hasbian. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you. 82 ROXY Oh boy.is.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89.... SCOTT What. clearing the busy dance floor. does she know me. B A ROXY Well honey.” RAMONA It was just a phase.
(CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. Ramona. She BLOCKS with the hammer. The belt wraps around it. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. He’s a creep.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. this is live? Uh huh. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. It smashes a speaker. you slag. leaving a dent in it. F WALLACE Oh yeah. RAMONA Believe it. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. With blinding speed. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . This is a League game. ROXY Give it a rest.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Or possibly feet.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott.
. She grins at Ramona. winces. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy.be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll.. kicking them apart with the splits. They’re soft... (CONTINUED) B A Okay. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. ROXY Fight your own battles. still in the splits. RAMONA Whenever we were making out. She staggers. Some sooner than others. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room... . ROXY (CONT’D) Your B.never. Roxy falls.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. He lands HARD on the floor. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. RAMONA You don’t have a choice.
a wave of gossip spreading around the room. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott. 82 The party starts up again.
T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. Scott has already downed his second drink. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. Ramona follows tentatively. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being..INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. SCOTT Only on special occasions. Ramona tries to lighten things. RAMONA I really think we should split. The gossip echoes around them. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. RAMONA Sooooo. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. Looks hurt.. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. She touches her hair.
Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A. 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.
. RAMONA Dirty laundry. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. Here’s your stupid list. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. A (CONTINUED) . LEE. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. INGRAM. Scott looks at the list. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared.S. RICHTER. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS.” 83 INT. You’re drunk. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. It reads“PATEL. GIDEON..Ramona returns.NIGHT B A But then . In fact I’m sick of it. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. RAMONA (CONT’D) P. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. Ramona leaves. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. Ramona exits proper. KATAYANAGI TWINS. I thought you might be more understanding. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. You.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A. 85 KIM PINE Oh. She’s totally here. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. Now an open air venue. SNOW falls onto the stage. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang.. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. Scott turns bleak again. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care.S. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. we can do this.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. leaving a huge hole in the roof.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands.) They brought the house down. She looks happy. 23. She is totally there. KYLE KATAYANAGI. KEN KATAYANAGI.. Scott.. (CONTINUED) . ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. A wall of FEEDBACK builds.. Can we do this? I mean. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care... is very serious and Japanese. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. Scott and Stills get into battle position. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. 23. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. The crowd cheers. They are chatting. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right.. is serious and very Japanese.. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses.
INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. They share a nod. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. then helps Kim up. We’re done. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. 37. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. For once. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers.. SCOTT Alright. Kyle looks at Ken. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. they sound awesome. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. He struggles to his feet.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. This is GIDEON GRAVES.. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. T A (CONTINUED) . slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. comes in heavy on the kick drum. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. Scott. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. SCOTT Gideon. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. ASSHOLE. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim.
was epic. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. RAMONA Yeah. What are you doing? ... eyes narrowing.. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. SCOTT Ramona. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. 86 EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE . I’m not even stalking you.. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. SCOTT Ramona. SCOTT You seem. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.. but she and Gideon are gone. SCOTT Getting a life. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. hovering next to Scott. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. The crowd goes bazooky. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. different. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98.. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. Knives watches him go. He can’t find Ramona. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. different. I have something I need to tell you. Scott follows.
86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. I don’t care about any of that stuff. really mean it. And I want you to know. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. Listen. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. .
TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. Oh okay.S. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.) That’s the bad news. captioned “PEE”.. A driver opens the passenger door.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. B A Bob-omb.. The Lincoln parks. VOICE (O. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. Stills is ga-ga.. Scottie. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs. 86 RAMONA Oh. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. Ramona looks at the floor.. I just.. T RAMONA It’s Gideon. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind.. GIDEON GRAVES The good news.it's not going to work out. GIDEON GRAVES You know. Okay. A (CONTINUED) .I can’t help myself around him. Scott glowers. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes.
86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A.
There are hand shakes all round. she wouldn’t be back with me. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. SCOTT Nuh-uh. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. you would have never been with Ramona. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. but if it wasn’t for you. A cough.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. GIDEON Oh and Scott. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. A meek Young Neil slides into view. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. Scott stands alone. keep your emotions in check. before trying to hand it back to Scott. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. Kim shrugs and signs it too. A . Scott. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. GIDEON And hey. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. can I just say. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. I mean. if it wasn’t for me. buddy. bass in hand. So I guess it all shakes out. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. we should really be thanking each other.
. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car....... 87 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 100A. thinking about Ramona.NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone. Scott tries desperately to think positive. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN ..
Stacey heads off. Night turns to day. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. 88 B A STACEY Oh. Gets a shock. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. Scott looks at the camera.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. Well that’s not so bad. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends. Scott remains in the exact same position.S. SCOTT Seven. THE PARK . gives Scott a hug. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. 88 INT. STACEY Time heals all wounds. staring straight ahead.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. F T A STACEY (O.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off.. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. Flicks the light on.S. “THONK”.NIGHT Scott enters. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. Day turns to night. little brother...) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . Over PITCH BLACK..
Scott sits in the chair. you know I love you. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona.S. For sex. T . and I apologize for that. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. Right. wrapped in a blanket.) Sorry. 88 WALLACE (O. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). WALLACE Ah. 89 INT.) It’s Chris. But I need my own bed tonight. But you know. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .S.) It’s Chris. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too.) Or someone. WALLACE (O.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk.S. it’s probably just because he’s better than you. I get it.S. That sucks. Wallace hands Scott cocoa.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott. A Right. SCOTT She’s with Gideon.S. SCOTT And the year. VOICE (O. SCOTT (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102.
WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. 89 Scott nods. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott nods.
SOME GUY It’s for Scott. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. it’s gonna be alright.S. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Some guy picks up.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. pal.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. Scott stares at the phone. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. 89 WALLACE Either way. I think this fight is over. SCOTT (O. SCOTT RINGY RING. Scott nods. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch.S. I don’t want any hard feelings. He calls off. T A Thanks.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. INT. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. GIDEON'S LAIR .CONTINUOUS SCOTT No.S.) Hey. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. 91 (CONTINUED) .) Yeah. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay.
leaning against a warehouse wall. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. Well as you know. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O.) What a perfect asshole. Whatever. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. Finish him. Click. 92 EXT. alarmed. HIPSTER KID Cool. B Password? Scott shrugs. F SCOTT WALLACE (O.S. What do you say? .S. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. STREETS OF TORONTO .) I hope so. SCOTT (grim) Yeah.S) Sure you did. SCOTT Mm. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. amigo. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. Maybe I’ll see you there.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. Scott turns.
HIPSTER KID Cool. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. B A F T A . Scott steps into the elevator. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. 93 INT. So far so good. WAREHOUSE .INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator.
. Don’t give him the satisfaction. (CONTINUED) . Chuck Taylors. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. their first album is so much better than their first album. STEPHEN STILLS Well. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. welcome to the Chaos Theatre.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. COMEAU Yeah. SCOTT What if I have a beef. COMEAU holds court among them. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero..with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O.the CHAOS THEATRE.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. YOUNG NEIL on bass. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. 94 INT. They are legion. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery.S. CHAOS THEATRE . now using SWEET BRAND amps. Ramona kneels at his side. skinny jeans. looking up at his former bandmates. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song... then you’re doomed. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. wearing identical outfits.
It’s ancient history. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. I’m in love with her. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. Ramona looks away from Scott.buddy. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. A new power comes over Scott.O. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is.. (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106.. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving. Gideon loses his cool. flexes. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads.) Scott earned the power of love. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because.. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. League. Gideon smiles. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona.. buddy. NARRATOR (V. Scott gets into a fighting stance. Gideon stands up. whatever.
SCOTT Your club sucks. “KNIVES CHAU. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. Gideon approaches.. Scott hits the ground HARD. Then from above. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. both concerned and amazed. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. we are here to make money. ON BEAT. and sell out and stuff.. Gideon raises his sword. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. My cane. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. by the way. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. KNIVES CHAU (O. rolling to a stop.. Scott looks to Knives. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle..) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. She lands awkwardly.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. 18 YEARS OLD. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD.S. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. He slashes at them to the beat. (CONTINUED) . GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. exploding each attacker into COINS. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. to administer a final blow. Gideon chuckles. Kim clicks out a fast tempo.
He was warned plenty of times. separating them. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. T A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. throwing blocks and punches. KUNG FU STYLE. I didn’t steal anyone. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. distracted by his duelling exes. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. Kung Pao Chicken.
RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat.maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away... 95 EXT.S. I dated you and then I dated Ramona.SAND blows through frame. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY..cheat. Knives....... rubbing his temples. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us.. neither amused. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives. THE DREAM DESERT . Okay? (beat) I mean. but.Scott's eyes blink open. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground..DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind.death. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white..INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. but you can’t.. GIDEON (O. You can cheat on these ladies all you want.. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott. With you. . F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott...
fainter than before. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. Ramona appears out of nowhere. 95 SCOTT Ugh.
SCOTT That is evil.. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head.. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. I really will leave you alone forever now. That’s why I had to leave.. Dying probably sucks. Seeing as I’m about to die. self-consciously touching her hair. T A (CONTINUED) . Scott..INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. and that’s when he started paying attention.. But he ignored me.. has a way of getting into my head. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. the truth is.. he literally has a way of getting into my head. I was crazy about him. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. He just. maybe now would be the time to get into it. RAMONA He’s like that. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. RAMONA Alright. Ramona covers the chip. that’s legitimately disappointing.. SCOTT Well. it was me who was obsessed. RAMONA No. I mean. eh? B A SCOTT Well.
SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you.. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD.. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . He flicks the light on. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. I guess. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. SCOTT So... SCOTT I feel like I learned something. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott. 96 INT.. Scott slumps to his knees. Ramona is gone. We had a good run... The winds blow harder. A Ahhhhhh.. . SCOTT . I really fought for you back there.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there.so alone. RAMONA Uh-huh. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. Ramona seeming to fade away. as Scott enters.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. DA-DING.
AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O.. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. WALLACE (O. I don’t want any hard feelings.. when my journey began.) Again? WALLACE (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. guy.S.) Sure thing. I need to ask one final favor of you. B A Um. a call I considered refusing. enemies. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. GIDEON GRAVES (O..S. allies. during which I totally seized the sword. that’s you.S.) Scott. pal.) F T A (CONTINUED) . (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. I died. SCOTT Wallace. But my Mentor. I feel terrible about everything. I was living in an ordinary world..S. Gideon Graves. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. There were tests. hands him the phone. 96 SCOTT . Sadly. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. So I did. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. Chaos Theatre. On PITCH BLACK.. But before I do that. GIDEON GRAVES (O. I was just about toSCOTT Hey.S.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off..
exposing his junk.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott hangs up and heads for the door. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. 96 SCOTT Sorry. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. sorry. hardcore.
And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) .. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. you shall be known as “Neil”. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go.. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces..DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. Stephen. 98 INT. WAREHOUSE . 99 INT. knocking them out.. From this point forward.everything. 97 EXT. COMEAU Yeah. Kim shrugs. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. Young Neil? You have learned well. deadpan as ever. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me. I know what I’m doing. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever.AGAIN.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE. You guys sound better without me. the new line-up rocks. SCOTT Don’t worry..DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR.. 96 SCOTT You seen one. STREETS OF TORONTO . CHAOS THEATRE .
INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.
They land on opposite sides of the platform.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V.O. exploding each attacker into COINS. Ramona hands Gideon his cane.S. T SCOTT No. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. A strange new power overcomes Scott. different than before. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. let’s do it.I want to fight you for me. My cane. backs to each other.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. You’re pretentious. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. He unsheathes his SWORD. I have beef. the club sucks. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. Scott goes straight into fight mode. LEAPING in the air. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . Ramona at his side...
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . apparently. Dead.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. 99 Gideon falls down. Scott calls out.
. And I’m sorry. Knives. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. stunned. taste my steel. Scott GRABS her wrists.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. All turn to see GIDEON. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. Knives steps back. SCOTT No. So. Scott turns to Ramona. bloodied. Ramona rubs the back of her head.you're not a fat ass. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. I cheated on you. She kicks him in the face.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. She didn’t mean that. GIDEON GRAVES (O. They square off. The CHIP no longer blinks. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. Scott jumps between them.. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . Ramona staggered. I hurt you. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. Knives pulling KNIVES. hands held out.S. I was a different guy back then. RAMONA Never felt better. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. but still grinning.
the three of them ready to rumble. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. you got a fight alright. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. Scott steps into a fighting stance. 99 SCOTT Oh. GIDEON Ramona. Knives joins him.
GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. Knives attacks and scores a hit. The swords create an “X”. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. Gideon spins again and swings upward. dropping her. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . Scott’s sword SHATTERS. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. Knives and Ramona. They barely dodge him. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Gideon hits her back. . Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. Gideon swings at Scott. She looks doubtful. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. Ramona KICKS. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Gideon spins low. disarms Scott with one move. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. They CLASH in the air. SCOTT ATTACKS. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. Knives throws her knives. takes a hesitant step towards him. They fence. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Gideon BLOCKS. You’re still my girl. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. his HEALTH BAR increases. Scott leaps in the air. expecting her to move.his glasses glow. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Gideon jumps after him. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. He grins. Knives whips off her scarf.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. Scott ducks. Gideon BLOCKS. He shakes off the assault and grins. knocking her down. baby. He cuts big arcs at Scott. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air.
He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. You’re nothing. A pain in my ass.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. defeated. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. From the floor. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. Knives and Scott share a look. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. 99 Scott lands hard. They Get up and circle Gideon. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. she kicks him in the back of the head. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. She lands painfully at the bottom. I’m blowing up right now.. (CONTINUED) . I’m what’s happening. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. You’re zero.. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. One lens of his glasses cracks. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. sending him spinning. Not long now. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. Me? I’m what’s hip.
Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) . The coin rain continues.. Gideon’s head EXPLODES. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. awake now. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face.. 99 SCOTT You’re right. makes her way towards them. And you got another thing right. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. Ramona. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid.. Right now.S. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. RAMONA (O.) You two make a good combo. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. They share a smile. You are blowing up. right? Kim points to the falling coins. Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. Scott and Knives kiss. KIM PINE There goes our deal.
. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) .S. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. GIDEON’S VOICE (O.but can you defeat.. shake hands and part ways. We just shot the shit. They look expectantly at the entrance. Then. He’s a super-nice guy. worried for Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118. Both take a step forward... They chat amiably. SCOTT No. This is something I have to face on my own. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. Scott and Negascott face off. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. Evil face.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes...yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses..) You can defeat me. We actually have a lot in common. nothing. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. The glasses GLIMMER. THE WAREHOUSE . The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. Dark clothes. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. Knives and Ramona. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. KNIVES CHAU Your hair.. Fringed hair... 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT.
104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A.
literally taking his guard down. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. stops and turns back. He turns to see her. but the past keeps catching up. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. you know? I came here to get away. F T Scott calls after her. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. RAMONA I should tahnk you.. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. Steps tentatively away from Knives. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. hoping to slip away. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. SCOTT I think I understand. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it.. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . Where are you going? Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. then realizes Ramona has gone. Ramona sees this and smiles. though. I should probably disappear. Snow begins to fall. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. B A RAMONA It's hard. You do? Scott smiles. RAMONA I dunno. SCOTT Hey.
I’m too cool for you anyway. then hearsKNIVES (O. Before she’s gone.) Hey. And stuff. SCOTT Yeah. We hear a 2ND COUGH . RAMONA Well.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine..Nega Scott also sidles into frame. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad. Ramona walks on into the night alone. Scott watches. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. You’ve been fighting for her all along.. Bye and stuff. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. She takes his hand briefly.) Go get her. She turns to walk off again. T Surprised. A (CONTINUED) . Guitar still in hand. then lets it drop..S. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. F KNIVES You earned it. We hear a COUGH . but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. but thenSCOTT (O. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives.. Knives doesn’t look back.
A We see the door with the star on it... F JULIE (V... My little brother kicked a guy’s head off. sunrise coming up over Toronto...3.O.7. standing right in the middle of the street. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. try again? Ramona smiles. It was unbelievable.4.O. T Over this magical transformation... we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves.. winter turning to spring.5. night magically turning to day.2. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside...6.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B. Scott takes it. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier. .. snow swirling around it. I mean bananas... Someone seriously should have been filming it.. it was apparently awesome. it was a HUGE fight. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could.9. A STACEY (V. CONTINUE? 10. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door.. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater.) Oh my God.1. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. Yeah... Literally..) Oh my God....8.
105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 120.
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