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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
She's Chinese. MOTHER CHAU.. 17. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. demanding. cute and innocent with clothes to match. grumbling. . Scott grins heroically. SCOTT (O. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. 22 YEARS OLD. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. Knives crouches down to pick up her books..NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. books scattering everywhere.) Hey. 45. Scott winks at Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. RATING: AWESOME. Scott winks at the camera. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books.. sits next to her mother. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. THE BUS . 2 KIM PINE Well. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau..S.
DAY Back in the kitchen. 4 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 2A.. everyone looks at Scott. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .. KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Scott opens the door a crack. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. Let it be soon. She geeks. Scott smiles broadly. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. It is. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. SCOTT Oh. man.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. 4 SCOTT Yes.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. B A Hey. SCOTT She’ll geek. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Knives. She has the capacity to geek. this is Stephen Stills. 5 INT/EXT. Please be good. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. I want her to geek out on us. hey. really. He's the talent.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A.
LAME BRAND amps. YOUNG NEIL Oh.. KNIVES CHAU Hi... that’s Kim. I’m not in the band. drums. ratty rug. 6 INT. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi. SCOTT Knives. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. Knives waves. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. what was your name? KIM PINE (O.yes. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb. who finally gets it. wow. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset.that’s kind of a big question. sorry.Tetris. Lemme get your coat. I just live here..DAY Knives enters..S. KNIVES CHAU Wow. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Amps hum to life. . bass. that’s Young Neil. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4.. sticks in her hands.Zelda. (CONTINUED) . guitar...
SCOTT Yeaaah. what? KIM PINE I mean.. Yeaaah.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like.. 7 EXT.. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE.. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome.Sex Bob-Omb. Kim.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room.. KNIVES CHAU I can't even. jaw ajar. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice..INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5.. BUS STOP .are so.wait. 8 INT. The song ends. feedback lingering.. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. Knives watches. Amazing... if your life had a face I would punch it. SCOTT B A Yeaaah.amazing. F (CONTINUED) .
Kim.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. ha. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. 24 YEARS OLD. Don’t tell too many people. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. SCOTT So. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. You're totally my bitch forever. SCOTT Neil. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. ha.. I'm dating a 17 year old. ROOMMATE. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. yes. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny.. FUTON included. The whole seventeen year old thing. "WALLACE WELLS. dark hair. she seems awesome. you were saying she seems awesome. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. turns to Young Neil. WALLACE Yeah. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. ha. disloyal. . SCOTT Yeaaaah. one room apartment. arched eyebrow.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6.
INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A. 9 WALLACE Hey. you know me. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Scott picks up. The phone goes. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. Scott sinks into an armchair. Don’t tell my sister. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. you will not be served”.) You know me. WALLACE You know me.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. 9 SCOTT I mean. Knives Chau. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. SCOTT That’s not true. 19. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING.S.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) ." A STACEY (O. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. YOUNGER SISTER.S. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. cute. starts texting. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. Duh. WALLACE (O. peppy barista.
9 SCOTT Yeah.. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad. Uniformed boys and girls pour out. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly.. are you legitimately moving on. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. STACEY Oh my God.it’s just nice.simple. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. 10 EXT.. SCOTT This school has boys too.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL.. Scott. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. STACEY Um. you haven’tSCOTT No no no. more like. STACEY (CONT’D) So. At all.. F T A SCOTT I don't know. SCOTT Well.. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . so I wouldn't call it dating. WALLACE I hate you. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. I think she hugged me once. We haven’t even held hands... the whole deal. you know? It's just.
INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.
.wow. CONTINUE appears. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION). Whispers. WALLACE You're too good for him. KNIVES CHAU Oh. counting down: 10.. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move.. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. She digs for quarters.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. Does he wear glasses? . Wallace Wells. KNIVES CHAU Oh. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O.. side by side. You know. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed.. this is my cool gay roommate. T A WALLACE Yes. 11 INT.. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. THE ARCADE . SCOTT Hey Knives. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. He’s gay.S. SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize...8. Wow.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. like. The game ends.9. Scott looks at Knives. Run.
SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. Hangers click in time. slices in hand. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. 13 INT.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. F T A A13 INT. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. Bobby. THE GOODWILL . . we're already pretty big. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. "PIZZA PIZZA" . But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. SCOTT Well. but you guys ROCK. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) .INTEGRATED FINAL 10. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. Knives. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. Julie. 12 EXT.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. 22. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. Thank you. you guys are gonna be HUGE.
13 SCOTT Thank you. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Julie. (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A.
KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . 11. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. 15 EXT. But that’s just me.no. KNIVES CHAU .. I've. SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. you were saying about me? 14 EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them. SCOTT Sorry.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. SCOTT Me neither. KNIVES CHAU Oh. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ... F KNIVES CHAU I mean. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. I heart them so much.I've never gone out with someone so talented. so whatever. Scott hugs her..
But she's gone. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott.SCOTT WAKES UP. Her pink hair is funky but cool. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands..so.. Wow. skirt and goggles. an army jacket. rubbing his eyes..INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. You're just having some idiotic dream... 16 (CONTINUED) . . SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. SCOTT Here you go. THE DREAM DESERT .. okay.so alone. Wind blows.. sitting up in the FUTON. 17 INT. She wears fishnets. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. KNIVES CHAU Oh.Scott wanders alone through a barren land. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus.. She is hotter than the desert sun. Wow...? .. SCOTT Oh God. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God.. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone. The light snowfall turns into sand.
Other Scott goes back to sleep. SCOTT No. Wallace rubs his eyes. SCOTT But there was this girl. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. It was somebody new... Scott? A scruffy. F T A . WALLACE What is it. OTHER VOICE Oh God. WALLACE Speaking of new. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested.. 22. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like. six in the morning. Scott opens the bathroom door. Sunlight ignites the room.. 17 WALLACE What is it.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. it wasn’t her. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream.
INTEGRATED FINAL 13A.DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 18 INT. THE LIBRARY .
INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. Time slows to a crawl.. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts.. (CONTINUED) .. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library.S.uh. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. KNIVES CHAU I’ll.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl. head still in the clouds. Let’s talk about something else... STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. He carries a stack of books for Knives. I’ll be quieter.. SCOTT It was. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION. STEPHEN STILLS (O. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch.CA to the librarian. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. SCOTT Uh.my hand slipped.
SCOTT .. retard. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. This is going to suck. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. YOUNG NEIL Sucks.. there may be some label guys there. Scott's head is still in the clouds. 21 INT. so. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. I thought you guys split. F SCOTT Aw. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. JULIE'S HOUSE .. Both have red plastic cups in hand. 19 SCOTT Sorry.. But.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. man.. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom.. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . you know. KIM PINE We're going to this party. what are we doing? 20 EXT. Scott exits frame.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. T SCOTT Ugh.this sucks. Kim Pine.
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
24. 22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A.
It’s so “Ramona Quimby. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. JULIE She just moved here.. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. Aged 8” and yet.Flowers. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. . Got a job with Amazon. arms crossed. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. Scott does not. Comes into my work. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars.. Now. Stephen Stills is with her.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. SCOTT Yeah.
. Stephen.yes. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. But I didn't want Scott to know that.. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE .
JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. . JULIE Whatever. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. let’s leave it at that. Ramona is out of your league. she justJULIE Scott. He’s totally dating a high schooler. We hear the sound of arctic winds. whoa. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. SCOTT looks to KIM. I don't know what it is about that girl. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. me and Kim are all good now. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. 22 SCOTT Yeah.
WALLACE Library. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace... B A SCOTT I saw her at the library.. WALLACE There he is... WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Wallace flops onto the futon.. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup.NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. 20. WALLACE You think he’s. Wallace storms in. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. landing next to Scott. WALLACE Girl.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. Okay. F T (CONTINUED) A . SCOTT So.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. WIDE awake. that girl.. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. I don't know what it is about that girl.. SCOTT I think she’s. From my dream... SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams. 23 WALLACE You guess right. and hey! There she is.
SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something. who is out cold. 23 WALLACE Mmm.high school.. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. Bye.. B A STACEY Well. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) . Wallace drifts off. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. friend...fake.up. I should send out a mass text about this.. cellphone in hand. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. RINGY RING! Scott answers... SCOTT Wait. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever.. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. Wallace. SCOTT What’s that? Break.girlfriend.. Who told you? STACEY Duh.
SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK.this is..S. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days...INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.. Pilgrim...!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring...hmm.THIS IS.” Scott walks to the front door. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O..Amazon. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon.. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool. This is. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. SCOTT "Dear Mr.. My name is Matthew Patel.. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE . and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah.. WALLACE Scott. . Scott sits at Wallace's computer. Moments pass...ca.ca. 23 SCOTT Wallace. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon..) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright.
It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. 23 SCOTT Maybe. WALLACE It's the weekend. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. SONIC BOOM . Knives chows down on a slice. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. still distracted. PIZZA PIZZA .DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. SCOTT That's sucky. Scott JUMPS to his feet. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. Uh huh.. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. Scott doesn't eat. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. 23 DINGY DONG.. 26 EXT. his thoughts elsewhere..DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. He plasters on his best fake smile. B 25 INT. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy.DAY A . SCOTT Attack hug. That’s cute.. out of sync. THE GOODWILL .
.but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek. B A F T A . SCOTT I tell ya'.INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A. 26 KNIVES CHAU ..
squares up against Scott’s avatar. Scott takes a deep breath.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off..2. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh. Game..1. Knives BURSTS into frame... STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show. THE ARCADE ... 27 INT. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives. A NEGANINJA .EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up.B.. Scott winces. On. KNIVES CHAU (O. side by side. (CONTINUED) .I. SCOTT Um. 3.. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott.10..S. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.INTEGRATED FINAL 24..I think. but he messes up.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION... STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE ...9. staring out. This is never easy..8. Scott tunes his bass. NegaNinja. his timing off. The Rockit.B. I think. And even better? It’s the T.. everybody.. Scott plays halfheartedly. alone by the window. 28 INT. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on..
S. Knives can barely contain herself. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom.) Crash and the Boys. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. man.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. F Oh. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.S. This guy at work was like "Steve. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right..) Oh my gosh.. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. KNIVES CHAU (O. SCOTT Sure. Great. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. It’ll be the cool kids too. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. She grabs Scott.
) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.) Yeah. . they suck. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.S. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.S.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.) Oh my gosh.
a long. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces. DINGY DONG. I was thinking about asking you out. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. RAMONA Um. SCOTT RAMONA No. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. Scott exits the bathroom. Scott runs after her. BATHROOM ... but then I realized how stupid that would be. um. no.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. and you were in my dream. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. down a row of LOCKERS leading to..? 30 .MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right.. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up. skating past Scott and down the hall. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. He stares at himself in the mirror.. around a corner. that's okay. I dreamt you were delivering me this package..EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie.. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi.. it's just like.... RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. entering. 29 INT. 30 INT. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 26.
I mean. I was the other guy.. (CONTINUED) F T A . SCOTT Okay well. you'll leave. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. right? I've lived here forever.. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. That's how it works. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block... SCOTT So.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No.you need to sign for this. Noooooo. That was some total ass. You’d be impressed. RAMONA Yeah. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada.. She gives him a pen. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. SCOTT But if I sign for it.. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. RAMONA You know. RAMONA You still have to sign.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. you're like American? RAMONA Why. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. Not even.
I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. SCOTT Sorry. PARK . RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. Oh. 31 SCOTT You are like.my dream girl..INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done.. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude.. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um.. RAMONA Well.you know. I'm totally waiting on you. And throws the package straight in the trash. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me.. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom..if that's cool. So. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line. You assumed wrong. RAMONA I need to find a new route. . yeah.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park.
SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park... RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs. F SCOTT Is Gideon. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence. They sit on some swings in the park.. SCOTT This is good.. RAMONA This is good.a friend.. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so. RAMONA He’s. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs.is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess..
it’s certainly chilled here. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. .. B A Um. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much.. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. Chilled as in cold. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. RAMONA Uh. It’s weird. SCOTT Well. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. RAMONA Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment.
SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. no. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. RAMONA This is ridiculous. yeah. Ramona walks away. You're too desperate to be gay... night’s not over yet. relax. SCOTT Yeah.. SCOTT I feel so stupid. A Tongue. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. . you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. RAMONA Anyway.... RAMONA Well. RAMONA Dude.. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. I can barely see you. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster.. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. The snowfall gets heavier.. SCOTT So this is a 'date'.. you’re probably not that stupid. 34 SCOTT It’s... eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. Wallace is pretty gay.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. I believe you. Ramona hops off her swing. mostly stupid. Laughing.
... I’m blind.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . I can’t see you. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. I. SCOTT A door? I. Help me..
Scott and Ramona fall into blackness. girl friendly apartment. Scott ventures upstairs.cold! RAMONA (O. does this help? SCOTT (O. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. He wanders towards a half open door. After a moment alone. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket.very warm.S. Ramona opens the door.. green tea with lemon and honey.. raspberry. ginger without honey. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness.) AAAH! Sorry. RAMONA'S APARTMENT .NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. He watches as she slips out of her coat.. green tea with lemon. green tea. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt. vanilla almond. Pushing it open. constant comment and earl grey. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. SCOTT (O. 35 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. ginger with honey. I'm just.. T A (CONTINUED) . white truffle. SCOTT That would actually be awesome.S.. ginseng..) Here.) That's.S. blueberry chamomile. sleepytime. liver disaster. What is that? B Ramona exits. vanilla walnut.
. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.maybe we should both get under it. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you. Ramona breaks off..since we're so cold. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him..what about our tea? SCOTT I can. F T SCOTT Maybe. You can sleep in my bed...camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off.kay. smiling... A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33.. They tumble onto the bed and make out... A Ohh.. Scott is in heaven. RAMONA I changed my mind.kay. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott.. Pilgrim. RAMONA Well. revealing black panties to complement black bra.. Not right now..not have tea.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess. They look into each others eyes. Scott takes his shirt off....
thanks. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. They exchange a smile. Ramona is gone. and this is... just this. Whatever this is. RAMONA You're welcome. RAMONA'S ROOM .INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. RAMONA I have to work.. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . It's been like a really long time.oh. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens.. So. Please come. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. Scott walking next to her. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. Ramona skates towards the front gate.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel.. . Scott relaxes.. SCOTT Hey. B A 37 EXT. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. I didn't even get any. we're terrible.that was a joke. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing. 35 SCOTT This is cool.I think I needed this.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 37 RAMONA Sure.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A.
INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. Ramona is already skating far. far away.. I’m Stacey. reaching Scott at the bar. SCOTT Oh. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. Scott Pilgrim. STACEY And this is Wallace. I did totally come. 212 664-7665. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. his social skills vanish. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. THE ROCKIT . STACEY Excuse my brother. girl number. right back next to Scott. RAMONA Hey. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. hey! It’s tonight. WALLACE Hey.At The- “THE ROCKIT. She hands him a note. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. B A F T 38 INT..NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. . 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. Scott is so amazed at her presence. Scott looks back up. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters.. He’s chronically enfeebled. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. his room-mate.. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes.
SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. For sound check.. wearing makeup and new clothes. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. wake up. To. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . We hear feedback from a mic onstage. He pushes her away. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace.uh. 39 INT.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. Stacey stares at Scott. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. STILLS We were just on stage.. He didn’t even see Knives come in. SCOTT I. wake up.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. Wallace stares at Jimmy. Scott’sScott goes white. The sound guy hated us. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY.. PROMOTER (O. THE ROCKIT. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. Knives looks kinda sexy. People love us. Go. Scott scurries off. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. BACKSTAGE ..
Kim glowers. I am Crash.04 seconds.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . 8 year old girl drummer. and it's called "We Hate You. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. Please Die. 40 INT. Jimmy. THE ROCKIT. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. TRASHA. gives Wallace the finger. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. STAGE . Wallace yells from the balcony. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. and these are the Boys. You passed.haven't started playing yet. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. A41 INT. TOO? CRASH Yes. I am so very very sad.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage..INTEGRATED FINAL 37. . WALLACE Jimmy.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. BACKSTAGE .. WALLACE That was a test. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They." And it goes a little something like this. CRASH Thank you. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. STAGE .
B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B A F T A .
how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. THE ROCKIT. These guys are good. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience".CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. He's a friend. THE ROCKIT.. STAGE . He has so many friends. BALCONY . STACEY So Knives. 43 INT..CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band.. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. Stacey turns to Ramona. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win.. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. THE ROCKIT. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes.um. BACKSTAGE . 41 INT. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. BACKSTAGE . 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. .CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. The audience are stunned.
F (CONTINUED) .. TWO.. She faints in the excitement. THE ROCKIT.. STAGE .. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic. BALCONY . BACKSTAGE ... 45 INT.. staring at the stage. KNIVES CHAU Well. THE ROCKIT.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. sees Stacey talking to Knives. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. So give it up for Sex. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott.you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. Scott nods vigorously.you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and.. THE ROCKIT.yeah.CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. ONE. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes.. ANGLE on Knives. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT..INTEGRATED FINAL 39.
WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright.. Patel LANDS like a cat. Matthew Patel. Alright. SCOTT Thank you. B A Patel RUNS at Scott.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. It is I. Pilgrim. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant.. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. Pilgrim. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott.. Consider our fight. They land in THE PIT. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe..
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . then holds his hand up for a time-out. Scott blocks. Scott blocks. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Patel punches.
I told him to hit the showers. all the little jocks wanted me. Patel evades. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. Scott evades and counter-attacks. Scott jump-spins away from danger.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. probably in the entire state. in the seventh grade. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. They pause. Matthew was the only non-white. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. . The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. They exchange furious blows. After a week and a half. breathing heavy. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. landing kicks and punches. then lands more punches. We were one hell of a team. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. non-jock boy in school. Scott looks up to Ramona. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. We only kissed once. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold.
INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. POOF. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. Scott rolls across the stage. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. 47 SCOTT Dude. Scott hits the ground.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42.. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. you’re not the brightest. It hits Patel square in the eyes. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Open your eyes. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. narrowly dodging the attack. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. Patel levitates into the air. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. He flips back onto the stage. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. Maybe you’ll see. Scott dodges. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. dodging a third wave of fireballs.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. wait.
BALCONY . Passes Stacey. THE ROCKIT.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. He explodes into COINS.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. Scott lands and picks them up. They clatter to the stage floor. Coins. 48 INT.O! Scott punches Patel. 47 K. SCOTT Sweet. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Sex Bob-Omb wins.CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43. THE BUS .NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. clapping wildly from the balcony.so like. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's.but he is long gone.. THE ROCKIT. Ramona takes a breath. PROMOTER Yeah. it was great meeting you. $2.... 50 INT... Ramona yanks Scott away.. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. I guess. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT. BALCONY . Tell your gay friends I said bye. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh.40? That's not even enough for the bus home. The Promotor ambles back onstage. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. SCOTT Aw man. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date.. who is being resuscitated by Tamara.. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. STAGE . STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives. THE ROCKIT. 48 RAMONA Well.
And someone has a second date tonight.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . I guess. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. Do you want to make out? Uh.. The studio audience 'awwww's.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. The studio audience applauds. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. Scott kisses Ramona. SCOTT So. SCOTT Cool.. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’.. a spring in his step. I mean me. yes. SCOTT Well. what you're saying is. Scott bursts through the front door. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. 52 53 OMITTED INT. right? I got to second base last night.maybe first and a half. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. .. someone got to second base last night.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much.. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh.
. If you have a problem with it. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. I swear to God. Today. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy.it's HARD. Scott.. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee.. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh.. Scott. T A ... WALLACE If you don't do it. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine.but. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook.. hey. SCOTT You’re a monster.you're.. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives. WALLACE Okay. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. I don't want you gaying up the place. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost. F SCOTT But you. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. SCOTT But.. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly.You have to break up with Knives. so you can't be here tonight..INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45.
53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A.
is me pulling the trigger. hey. B A Ummm.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. SCOTT You suck. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. Uh. Knives. Um.. Wallace turns the television way up. SCOTT So. do you want to.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. like. I am stalking him later. KNIVES CHAU (O.. 46. Surprising no one.S.. bucko. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . The one after that.S.okay. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. 54 EXT. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. SCOTT Oh. The next click is me hanging up.. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off.. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. Hi.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass.
. B A SCOTT Uh. it's okay. Chinese food? Yeah. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder. KNIVES CHAU No.. It’s not my favorite... It's my birthday dinner. 55 INT. Well.. really. SCOTT And. I'm in. Like. to meet my parents. T (CONTINUED) A . KNIVES CHAU Oh. just so bad..LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah..INTEGRATED FINAL 47. pounding inside Scott's head.I think that's a really bad idea. hey. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town.and. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. SONIC BOOM .are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store.. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah. SCOTT Like.. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom.. Why? SCOTT Well I mean.
55 Knives is so smitten. SCOTT Um. listen. the word actually appears onscreen.I was thinking we should break up or whatever. Scott brushes it away..INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A.. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop.
KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. thanks. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. We broke up.. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. YOUNG NEIL You. Oh... 56 INT. SCOTT Aw. in shock.. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2.. No.. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone. thinks of something happier..EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up.um. KIM PINE Wait. I meant scum of the earth. a little happier. thinking about Knives.. Kim and Stills share a look. leaving Knives in the aisle. 57 SCOTT Oh. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. you are the salt of the earth. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs.it's not going to work out. SCOTT Aw. her funky pink hair. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.. KIM PINE Scott. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS.. thanks. 56 57 INT/EXT. THE BUS / RECORD STORE .you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) .
STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. Like you said. 57 SCOTT Yeah.. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. that’s. Scott opens the door to see Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it..you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Yeah. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. Kim mimes shooting herself. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. I just dyed it.. weirded out by this hair development. new or new-new. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. This is sudden death now. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp. Young Neil. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. now sporting BLUE HAIR.. Kim. whether they’re old. this is Stephen Stills. RAMONA Hey everyone. We were lucky to survive that last round. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. RAMONA Yes. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. SCOTT It’s all blue.. B A Scott ushers her in. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon.. but don’t worry.
INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
SCOTT Okay. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. I actually dated Scott in high school. He’s an idiot.. Scott drops the act. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said.uh.. Good..how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. good. KIM PINE Believe it or not. YOUNG NEIL . Get used to it. Scott fake laughs. 58 Ramona lounges.. preparing food as Wallace looks on. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah. reading a magazine. dude. See you guys tomorrow. Starts ushering Ramona out again. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. Ramona goes to the bathroom. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Cool. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. KIM PINE Yeah. SCOTT She changed her hair. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil.
58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A.
Scott stops Wallace at the door. SCOTT Don’t go. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. 58 SCOTT I know. “when”. Oh my god. Impulsive. She’s spontaneous. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. Ramona returns. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. good. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. Good. with a panicked whisper. See you in sixty. if you strike out in the next hour.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. come find me at the Castle. Fickle. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. picnic style. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. Wallace pulls on a jacket.
Ooooh. Ra-mona. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. Ramona is taken aback. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. Ra-ra-ra. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. SCOTT No. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. Mona. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. Or just all the time without even stopping. Ra-mona. Ra-ra-ra. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. Mona. RAMONA You'd get fat. Ra-mona. it goes like this: Ra-mona.
RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. SCOTT Not really. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT... three hours before his big breakup.. No. NARRATOR It wasn’t. 58 SCOTT Ha.. I like it long. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since.. Then.. T A . It was brutal. But it’s so long ago. But she stopped liking that name. RAMONA Your hair is cute. It was. she told me it was mutual. I can barely remember it.. It’s just that I got. sorry. NARRATOR She dumped him. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her..INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears. Earl Jones deep. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago.. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in.she stopped liking me. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.
a castle surrounded by big. long handrail between them. but. Putting one leg in front of the other. Things seem a little brighter around you or something.heightened.I don't know. I don’t know. unless you do. every drug.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. I just love me some walking.... 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. ENDLESS STAIRWAY .you make me feel. Let’s find out. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. bright movie set lights. 59 EXT. . B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. They’re shooting this movie up here.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. F SCOTT Yeah... as if crossing a magical line. who? SCOTT I forget. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. Not that I do drugs. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. in which case I do drugs all the time. RAMONA Oh.. I just. T A SCOTT Nooo.
SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. CASA LOMA . WALLACE RAMONA Wallace.INTEGRATED FINAL 55. doing kickflips. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. The spectators go “oooh”. T (CONTINUED) A . RAMONA Oh. including Wallace. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr.D. FIRST A. RAMONA Ooh. Mr. We gotta go. 60 EXT. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. man. He skates towards the set.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. B A What? Why? Slut. I am not a slut.
I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott.. RAMONA He just followed me around.. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. LUCAS LEE Action. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode.. who remains oblivious. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott.my. We had drama.. SCOTT . The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. it might have been math. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade.you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade.. I just remember there being lots of drama. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey.. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. who gasps. SCOTT Oh. Actually.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. He was a little snot nosed brat.God... .
. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Evil ex.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. How’s life? He seems nice. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. WALLACE Scott. Fight. crumbling it. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. He nods to Ramona. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. wobbly. flooring him. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret.
A . POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. He slides across the wet-down ground.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. Lucas Lee wanders off. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. Suddenly... hey.S. Scott staggers to his feet.. SCOTT Hey. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around.) Mr. SCOTT (O. all identically dressed. LUCAS LEE He’s good. Scott stands to fight the double.) Looks like you’re seeing double. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. punchy.. smirking on the sidelines. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN.S. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. Tae Kwon Doe style.
LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. shocked to see Scott.no. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. preparing for the deathblow. framed through the torn skyline. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah.. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. Lucas stomps over to him. .. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. well then don't worry about it. LUCAS LEE Prepare.. Lucas offers a hand. 60 Lucas turns.. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. SCOTT You’re needed back on set.. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK.. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . bro. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. Scott goes to shake it. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. Let’s get a beer.
.. a perfect ollie onto the rail.. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. Lucas pulls down his shirt. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. I have my own skate company.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. F T A (CONTINUED) .. very impressed at Lucas. ese..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. Big fan. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL. bro. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. if it’s too hardcore.. HSSSSSSSSS... revealing a skate company tattoo. SCOTT So you can sell them. impressed at Lucas. WALLACE Hi. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. SCOTT Hey. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. SCOTT Wow.
SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph. 60 SCOTT Wow.. he totally bailed.. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs. Scott smacks his forehead. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. HSSSSSSSSS. WALLACE Wow. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A.
SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. Scott Pilgrim.. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. A Scott slumps on the couch. Call me back. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. 61 INT. It was right under your nose. Scott again. please record your message after the beep. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants).that’s a wrap everybody.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. 60 FIRST A. 212 664-7665. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. phone pressed to his ear. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. Uh. T SCOTT Hey. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . she totally bailed. you said that last night..D. . RAMONA is not available. It’s me.
you have to fight for it. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . Scott and Wallace look at the phone. You have the spirit of a warrior. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. it’s “love”. A SEXY.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. Step up your game. completely shocked at this bombshell. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you.S. Either way. RINGY RING. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. Look. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. VOICE (O.. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. then you have to let her know. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. Break out the L-word. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. WALLACE If you want something bad. I need you to move out. Scott picks up.) Hey Scott. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. Scott. Scott slides to the floor. guy..
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
but I just cashed my last raincheck. She spins to face Scott. I’ve had it today. SCOTT Wait. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. obviously. darlin’. T SCOTT Listen. Hits SOMETHING. 62 SHFFF . ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. . technically this is not a nightmare. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. He’s pissed now. SHWAA . F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. Prepare to die. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. SCOTT Okay.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet.
really not up for this.the Mystery Attacker vanishes. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . STACEY (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. SCOTT Well.S. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. Scott is in his usual payphone. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken. BLOOR STREET . Someone help me. it’s Scott.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A .S. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. But you won’t see me. STACEY (O. SCOTT Oh man. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. Whatever it is. I’m really. baffled.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. Scott looks to the sky. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. dialing Stacey frantically. SCOTT It’s Scott. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. It’s actually me. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. then I’ll see you later.
Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about.) I’m literally about to leave. (CONTINUED) . revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside. mouthing that she has to go. Scott turns back to Julie.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". SCOTT Cool. Stacey has her back turned. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter. 63 STACEY (O.S. I’m coming in. Are you still working? 65. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. not happy. And by the way.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. Stacey turns around.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. THE SECOND CUP . I’m having a meltdown or whatever. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT.
RAMONA Yeah. She looks at the floor.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. No biggie. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again." The icy. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. A . I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. I do that. I want to hang. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. They share an awkward moment. SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. Listen. SCOTT No. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. You kind of disappeared. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. I know it's early days.. (CONTINUED) A Exes.. "ENVY ADAMS. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS.. 23. No. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which..
SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. ENVY Okay. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona.. Ramona goes to order coffee.. RAMONA I’m gonna. ENVY Great. You guys should like. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. I know. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. You’re so on the list.excuse me. so totally come. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. . You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. I’m jealous.
. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. About. 65 EXT.that was Nat? . This guy Todd. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. That didn’t end well either. 65 SCOTT No.. How. SCOTT I can see how it sucks. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend. Ramona returns.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. Having the past come back to haunt you.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. That. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists.. that was Envy. RAMONA And two weeks later. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah.. sipping their coffees. F T RAMONA So.
INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
B A Word. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. Tricky. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. SCOTT Double negative. Move on. Ramona lounges on the couch. SCOTT Right. Mm. From this moment on. 66 INT. Ramona stops and kisses him. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. Music swells. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. OTHER SCOTT It’s over.. 66 Scott stands (no pants)..INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott and Young Neil. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) .
And Envy asked us to open for them. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. STEPHEN STILLS No.
for the band? For the band. DRUG SMART . 67 SCOTT I hate you.. We need groundswell.EVENING B A Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. We need stalkers. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. We need to get some buzz going. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it..KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. Is a gig. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. You know. . SCOTT Yeah. pressed against the window. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday.
68A INT. KNIVES’ BATHROOM .INTEGRATED FINAL 71. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool.I look so. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl.so good.... A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. so he tried to find someone cool but old. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA. Knives throws a long scarf on.EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. (CONTINUED) . eyes narrowing.. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. This is all her fault. this really burns. looking sexy.
CONTINUOUS A 70 .Sold out’. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. We were Sex Bob-Omb. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. 71 71 INT. Tamara pops into frame. drunk. PUSH into Knives. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. She knows we suck. LEE’S PALACE .NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. Ramona excuses herself. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. But I know how to get him back. LEE'S PALACE . as she plots. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. Bar. Now.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . F T 70 INT. LEE’S PALACE . The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT.
RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. Knives follows. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. RAMONA Hey. Briefly. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. Or is it.. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. "KNIVES CHAU. 17. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. 72 INT. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. LEE'S PALACE. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. F T . SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. clothes and makeup. confused.. standing next to Ramona. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. SCOTT Briefly.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. LEE'S PALACE . looking hot. LADIES BATHROOM .INTEGRATED FINAL 73. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look.
INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74.. Pee time. Envy lets her coat slip off. He’s alone. Knives screams her teen brains out. EVIL-EX #3. 75 INT. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. Oh yeah.. striking ROCK GOD figure.MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. (turns beet red) I mean. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. LEE’S PALACE . (sing songy) Peee time. I gotta pee. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. You know? Oh yeah. 25. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. no longer shrouded in dry ice. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. "TODD INGRAM. LEE’S PALACE. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody.. (CONTINUED) . The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. he cuts a handsome. revealing a stunning figure. MENS BATHROOM . Stares at Scott.” and “Who. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around.. A I know.. ENVY in a long black coat. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd.. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her.
Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors. LEE'S PALACE . B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A.LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb.
INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. Envy burns a hole through Scott. They’re so much better live. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. RAMONA Mmm hmm. Oh. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage.. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. you have to see them live. TODD INGRAM Been a while. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. LEE’S PALACE. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm.“AWKWARD”.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. RAMONA Hey Todd. Envy. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. YOUNG NEIL Man. Just oh my God.. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. Everyone else feels. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God.
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. KNIVES CHAU Um. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. cute couple. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. in general? T A . Stephen. ENVY So. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. I like your outfit Ramona. Envy. you know? You suit each other. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah.. You know him.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple... it’s not something I can really put into words. ENVY Just saying.. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy.Envy? I read your blog. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. JULIE Ramona lived in New York. Did you get those jeans in New York. ENVY I was just there.
She is about to answer when. 77 Scott looks at Ramona.Knives stands up.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A... POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
my neck. SCOTT KK. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. Of.. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. Her.your hair. Young Neil escorts Knives out. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. grasping his neck. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. Her hair is black and plain as before. Scott hovers.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet. Hair. ENVY You’re incorrigible. Todd sits back down like nothing happened.. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. 77 Envy nods at Todd. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. TODD INGRAM That’s right.. Out. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR.. JULIE So.. choking. I’m a rock star. Scott boils. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd.yy.. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. Todd smirks...
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man... despite being in a lot of pain. Ramona helps Scott to his feet. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well.. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. A (CONTINUED) . question. He moans in pain. SCOTT No kidding. He tries to keep cool. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP.. SCOTT If I peed my pants. if you knew the science. I always wondered.vegan. Scott sails out of shot and into space. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall.anyone can be. While the others bicker. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. TODD INGRAM Bingo. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey.
77 RAMONA It’s not raining.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. Nobody cared. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. It was pretty crazy. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona.O. RAMONA (V. A brief. Nobody cares.O. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. It’s pretty crazy.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. 77 SCOTT Oh. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. so I dumped him. RAMONA Look. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. A (CONTINUED) . Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff.. We wrecked stuff. It’s part of the reason I moved here.) A week and a half later. but I used to be kind of.O. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. RAMONA (V. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. I guess that’s not very nice. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. RAMONA (V.) He punched a hole in the moon for me.O.) We hated everyone. RAMONA (V.like that. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd.
Stills calls through the hole....sort of ready for another round..Monday. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you.ready for another round. Scott CHARGES at Todd.. And the cleaning lady. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . call us when you’re done.dislike you. SCOTT You used to be so.... 77 Todd appears behind Ramona .. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. so. We hear a distant CRUMP. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. B A SCOTT Sorry.dust.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds. Right? ENVY Basically. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. T SCOTT A SCOTT I..cleans up.nice! F Um. I and he! Scott stands up . SCOTT He and me. She dusts...
he’ll be done real soon. 77 ENVY Oh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A.
cringing. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. I know. LEE'S PALACE . BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. I actually know how to play bass.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. He hovers next to him. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. 78 INT. Scott crashes into a backstage food table.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. 79 (CONTINUED) . Crummy way to end things. picking the hell out of his bass. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. Pilgrim. Todd LEVITATES. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. wicked. Envy grins at Ramona. savoring the kill. Suddenly. baby. Envy appears beside him with a smirk.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. Todd floats toward him. Scott turns around on his knees. floating towards Scott with his bass. Todd calls to a roadie. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. You’re through. ENVY Sorry. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. The good one. Your bass hand is badly injured. amp pegged to 10. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. shredding him into oblivion. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. fauxhawk rising. LEE’S PALACE.
but that's pathetic. 79 ENVY I’m sorry. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A.
VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. Todd floats to the ground. 7:30 p. in my mind's eye or whatever. I poured soy in this cup.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. SCOTT Actually. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. you knowingly ingested Gelato. A . VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude.. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan.m. bitch. You know. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. Thanks. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. tool. takes one of the cups and drinks. on February 1st. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. no vegan powers. I'll take the one with soy. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one.m.
I know. Ramona follows. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. shooting Envy a look on the way out. jaw ajar. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. disgusted. Now let’s get out of here.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. Envy blinks. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. So I guess we’re even. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. sorry I guess. Julie pops into shot.. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Maybe they should. F SCOTT Uh. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. Envy stares. 79 Envy gasps.. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. Natalie. in shock.
STEPHEN STILLS Neil.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84.oh. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. I am so pissed off for you right now.. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. WALLACE Envy Adams. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. KIM PINE Then why would we. And hot. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. on the fringes. I liked him. ENVY Shut the fuck up.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. 80 INT. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. Stills coughs.. PIZZA PIZZA . That Todd guy was cool too. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. It’s an odd mood. 79 JULIE For the record. Julie. Ramona and Scott.
OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. not with fists. Hey. Ramona falls back with him. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives.. B 81 EXT. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. lagging behind.NIGHT A Oh. He shrugs. WALLACE I mean. Scott takes another bite. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. Yet. Ooh. So let’s go. so. Oh. Scott limps a bit. Other Scott whispers to Wallace.. AFTER PARTY . we can totally go. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go.
It’s justRAMONA It’s just. I’m fine.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. I’m fine. 81 SCOTT No..
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
clearing the busy dance floor.” RAMONA It was just a phase. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you.. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. SCOTT What. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious... does she know me. The girls square off.she.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. If Gideon can’t have you... 82 ROXY Oh boy. Roxy flips out of the hold. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. B A ROXY Well honey. ROXY Back off hasbian. no one can.is.. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. 23. The League hath spoken. F T A (CONTINUED) .
PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. With blinding speed. KICK HER IN THE BALLS.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. ROXY Give it a rest. F WALLACE Oh yeah. Ramona. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. you slag. this is live? Uh huh. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. RAMONA Believe it. leaving a dent in it. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. It smashes a speaker. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. This is a League game. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. He’s a creep. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. She BLOCKS with the hammer. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. The belt wraps around it.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists. Or possibly feet.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A.
ROXY Fight your own battles. still in the splits. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. .. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. He lands HARD on the floor. Some sooner than others. RAMONA Whenever we were making out.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. winces.never. Roxy falls.. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona.. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. They’re soft. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. She grins at Ramona. She staggers..be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey.. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. kicking them apart with the splits. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room..
82 The party starts up again. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. a wave of gossip spreading around the room.
RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. Ramona tries to lighten things.. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. RAMONA I really think we should split. SCOTT Only on special occasions. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. Ramona follows tentatively. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. RAMONA Sooooo. The gossip echoes around them.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. Scott has already downed his second drink. T A (CONTINUED) . She touches her hair. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being.. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. Looks hurt. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink.
82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
KATAYANAGI TWINS. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. In fact I’m sick of it.” 83 INT. RAMONA (CONT’D) P. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. Ramona exits proper. You’re drunk. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. Ramona leaves.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. You. Here’s your stupid list. INGRAM.Ramona returns. LEE.NIGHT B A But then . Scott looks at the list. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. It reads“PATEL. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. RICHTER. I thought you might be more understanding. GIDEON..S.. RAMONA Dirty laundry. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. A (CONTINUED) .
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
85 KIM PINE Oh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . She’s totally here.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A.
is serious and very Japanese. is very serious and Japanese. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. She is totally there.. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. Scott. Scott turns bleak again. (CONTINUED) . blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. Now an open air venue. She looks happy. 23. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look.. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. KEN KATAYANAGI.. we can do this.. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang.. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. 23.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. Can we do this? I mean. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. KYLE KATAYANAGI.. Scott and Stills get into battle position.. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. The crowd cheers.) They brought the house down. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd.. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right. leaving a huge hole in the roof. They are chatting. SNOW falls onto the stage. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. AUDIENCE DUDE (O.S.
Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”.. ASSHOLE. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. SCOTT Alright. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. Scott. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. He struggles to his feet. T A (CONTINUED) . Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. This is GIDEON GRAVES. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. SCOTT Gideon. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. For once. We’re done. comes in heavy on the kick drum.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. they sound awesome.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. 37. then helps Kim up.. Kyle looks at Ken. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. They share a nod.
RAMONA Yeah. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. SCOTT Getting a life. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show.. Knives watches him go.. The crowd goes bazooky. I’m not even stalking you. He can’t find Ramona. hovering next to Scott. 86 EXT. I have something I need to tell you. but she and Gideon are gone. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears.. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. SCOTT You seem. SCOTT Ramona. What are you doing? . SCOTT Ramona. eyes narrowing. different. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS.. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now.was epic. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. I have something to- A Knives shrugs.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. THE NINTH CIRCLE . A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. different. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins... Scott follows. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd.
86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. . RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. really mean it. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. Listen. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. I don’t care about any of that stuff. And I want you to know.
. captioned “PEE”.. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes..it's not going to work out. B A Bob-omb. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. Okay. Scott glowers. GIDEON GRAVES You know.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. Oh okay.. T RAMONA It’s Gideon.I can’t help myself around him.. Stills is ga-ga. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. The Lincoln parks. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. Ramona looks at the floor. 86 RAMONA Oh. A driver opens the passenger door. VOICE (O. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal.S. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. Scottie. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. I just.. A (CONTINUED) .) That’s the bad news. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up.
86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. GIDEON And hey. Kim shrugs and signs it too. So I guess it all shakes out. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. Scott. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. SCOTT Nuh-uh. if it wasn’t for me. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. A meek Young Neil slides into view. GIDEON Oh and Scott. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. A cough. we should really be thanking each other. can I just say. you would have never been with Ramona. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. I mean. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. keep your emotions in check. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. There are hand shakes all round. before trying to hand it back to Scott. but if it wasn’t for you. buddy. Scott stands alone. she wouldn’t be back with me. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. A . bass in hand. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us.
. 87 INT. Scott tries desperately to think positive.INTEGRATED FINAL 100A... thinking about Ramona. A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona.... Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car... THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN .NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . 88 INT. staring straight ahead.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. gives Scott a hug. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott remains in the exact same position. STACEY Time heals all wounds. F T A STACEY (O. Flicks the light on. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. Well that’s not so bad. SCOTT Seven. 88 B A STACEY Oh. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean... Day turns to night. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. Over PITCH BLACK.. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends.NIGHT Scott enters. Gets a shock.. THE PARK . “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. little brother.S. “THONK”. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. Night turns to day.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. Scott looks at the camera. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. Stacey heads off.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101.S.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go.
88 WALLACE (O. wrapped in a blanket. 89 INT.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O.) Sorry. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott. SCOTT (O. and I apologize for that. That sucks. Wallace hands Scott cocoa.S. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. For sex. Scott sits in the chair. Right. T .) Or someone. SCOTT She’s with Gideon.S.S. WALLACE (O. But you know.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. VOICE (O. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . it’s probably just because he’s better than you.S.S. But I need my own bed tonight.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102. A Right. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. WALLACE Ah.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. SCOTT And the year.) It’s Chris. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). you know I love you.) It’s Chris. I get it.
Scott nods. WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair. 89 Scott nods. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A.
T A Thanks.) Yeah. Some guy picks up. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. He calls off. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. I think this fight is over. I don’t want any hard feelings. 89 WALLACE Either way.) Hey. Scott stares at the phone. 91 (CONTINUED) . SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT.S. INT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . pal.S. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. Scott nods.S. GIDEON'S LAIR . SCOTT (O. it’s gonna be alright. F GIDEON GRAVES (O.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. SCOTT RINGY RING.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103.
A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. STREETS OF TORONTO . What do you say? . HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. Maybe I’ll see you there.) What a perfect asshole. 92 EXT.S) Sure you did. Finish him. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing.S. Scott turns. Click.) I hope so. leaning against a warehouse wall. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. Whatever. amigo. SCOTT (grim) Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. SCOTT Mm.S. Well as you know. B Password? Scott shrugs. alarmed. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. HIPSTER KID Cool.
Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. 93 INT. B A F T A .NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. So far so good.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. Scott steps into the elevator. HIPSTER KID Cool. WAREHOUSE .
94 INT. They are legion. Ramona kneels at his side. now using SWEET BRAND amps. STEPHEN STILLS Well. then you’re doomed.the CHAOS THEATRE. SCOTT What if I have a beef.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. YOUNG NEIL on bass. wearing identical outfits. COMEAU holds court among them.. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID.. looking up at his former bandmates. CHAOS THEATRE . STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. their first album is so much better than their first album.S. Chuck Taylors. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. Don’t give him the satisfaction... Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. (CONTINUED) . All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. skinny jeans. COMEAU Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 105.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT.
Gideon loses his cool. Gideon stands up. flexes. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving.O. Ramona looks away from Scott.. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. I’m in love with her.) Scott earned the power of love. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. It’s ancient history. NARRATOR (V. Scott gets into a fighting stance. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. League.. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. buddy. Gideon smiles. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest.buddy. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. whatever. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild.. (CONTINUED) .. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. A new power comes over Scott. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because.
both concerned and amazed.S. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. My cane. Gideon approaches. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. Gideon chuckles.. KNIVES CHAU (O. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. by the way. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. She lands awkwardly. (CONTINUED) . A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM.. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. and sell out and stuff.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands.. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. “KNIVES CHAU. Gideon raises his sword.. Scott looks to Knives. He slashes at them to the beat. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. we are here to make money. rolling to a stop. Then from above. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. to administer a final blow. ON BEAT. Scott hits the ground HARD. SCOTT Your club sucks. exploding each attacker into COINS. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. 18 YEARS OLD.
But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. distracted by his duelling exes. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. throwing blocks and punches. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. I didn’t steal anyone. T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. Kung Pao Chicken. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. KUNG FU STYLE. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. separating them. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. He was warned plenty of times.
THE DREAM DESERT . KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind...cheat.death.S..DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us. ... but you can’t.. but.. rubbing his temples. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody.Scott's eyes blink open.. With you. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. neither amused. 95 EXT. You can cheat on these ladies all you want. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white.. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott..) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives. Okay? (beat) I mean...maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott. Knives.... Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground. GIDEON (O.SAND blows through frame.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109..
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Ramona appears out of nowhere. 95 SCOTT Ugh. fainter than before.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A.
Scott.. I was crazy about him. has a way of getting into my head. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. I really will leave you alone forever now. Dying probably sucks... RAMONA He’s like that. That’s why I had to leave. eh? B A SCOTT Well. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. the truth is. that’s legitimately disappointing. SCOTT That is evil.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110.. Seeing as I’m about to die. RAMONA Alright. T A (CONTINUED) . maybe now would be the time to get into it. and that’s when he started paying attention. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull.. it was me who was obsessed. But he ignored me.. SCOTT Well. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. self-consciously touching her hair... I mean. He just. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. RAMONA No. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. he literally has a way of getting into my head. Ramona covers the chip.
He flicks the light on... WALLACE'S APARTMENT . B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD.. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. We had a good run.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. A Ahhhhhh.so alone. Ramona seeming to fade away. .AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. 96 INT. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try..NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. The winds blow harder. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. Ramona is gone. RAMONA Uh-huh... as Scott enters. SCOTT . The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott.. SCOTT So. I guess. I really fought for you back there. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. DA-DING. Scott slumps to his knees..
during which I totally seized the sword. guy. SCOTT Wallace. hands him the phone. But my Mentor.. GIDEON GRAVES (O. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. when my journey began. Gideon Graves.) Again? WALLACE (O.S.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call.S. But before I do that. Sadly.S. There were tests.. GIDEON GRAVES (O. I died. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. WALLACE (O.. pal. So I did..) Scott. I feel terrible about everything. Chaos Theatre. I don’t want any hard feelings.) Sure thing.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. 96 SCOTT . allies.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto.. enemies.S. On PITCH BLACK. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. B A Um. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp.S. I need to ask one final favor of you. I was living in an ordinary world.) F T A (CONTINUED) .. a call I considered refusing. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. that’s you. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal.
96 SCOTT Sorry. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. hardcore. sorry. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. exposing his junk.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A.
99 INT. Young Neil? You have learned well. the new line-up rocks. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. 96 SCOTT You seen one. STREETS OF TORONTO ..INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) .everything.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. From this point forward. Stephen.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS.. You guys sound better without me. you shall be known as “Neil”. knocking them out. SCOTT Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing. 98 INT.. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid.. CHAOS THEATRE . Kim shrugs. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about.AGAIN. WAREHOUSE .CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE.. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. deadpan as ever. 97 EXT. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me.. COMEAU Yeah. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go.
99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A.
SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. backs to each other. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. I have beef. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. let’s do it. exploding each attacker into COINS. Ramona at his side. the club sucks. LEAPING in the air. T SCOTT No. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. Scott goes straight into fight mode.O. They land on opposite sides of the platform. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona.I want to fight you for me. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne.S. Ramona hands Gideon his cane.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. different than before. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. My cane. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. You’re pretentious. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other.. He unsheathes his SWORD. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT. A strange new power overcomes Scott. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) ..
Dead. apparently. Scott calls out. 99 Gideon falls down. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A.
B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. All turn to see GIDEON.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. Knives pulling KNIVES.. but still grinning. stunned. Knives. bloodied. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. SCOTT No. So. Knives steps back. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. I was a different guy back then. I cheated on you. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. GIDEON GRAVES (O.S. hands held out. Ramona staggered. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. Scott turns to Ramona. Ramona rubs the back of her head. Scott jumps between them. She didn’t mean that. They square off. Scott GRABS her wrists. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. taste my steel.. And I’m sorry. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . The CHIP no longer blinks. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. I hurt you. She kicks him in the face. RAMONA Never felt better.you're not a fat ass. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . the three of them ready to rumble. GIDEON Ramona. Scott steps into a fighting stance. you got a fight alright. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. 99 SCOTT Oh. Knives joins him.
Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Gideon hits her back. takes a hesitant step towards him. baby. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. knocking her down. Gideon swings at Scott. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. dropping her. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Gideon spins low. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them.his glasses glow. She looks doubtful. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. They barely dodge him. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. Gideon spins again and swings upward. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. Knives whips off her scarf. disarms Scott with one move. SCOTT ATTACKS. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. expecting her to move. Knives attacks and scores a hit. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. Knives and Ramona. They CLASH in the air. Gideon jumps after him. . Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. You’re still my girl. He grins. Gideon BLOCKS. They fence. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Scott leaps in the air. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. Knives throws her knives. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. Ramona KICKS. Scott ducks. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. The swords create an “X”. He shakes off the assault and grins. his HEALTH BAR increases. Gideon BLOCKS. He cuts big arcs at Scott.
then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. she kicks him in the back of the head. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. sending him spinning. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. 99 Scott lands hard. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. (CONTINUED) . Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. Knives and Scott share a look. defeated. She lands painfully at the bottom. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. I’m blowing up right now. You’re zero. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. They Get up and circle Gideon. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. I’m what’s happening. Not long now. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. One lens of his glasses cracks.. Me? I’m what’s hip. A pain in my ass. You’re nothing.. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. From the floor.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A.
STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. And you got another thing right. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal.. The coin rain continues.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117.. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. Scott and Knives kiss. You are blowing up. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. RAMONA (O. Oh. awake now. makes her way towards them. 99 SCOTT You’re right.) You two make a good combo. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. I’m not cool enough for Ramona..S. Gideon’s head EXPLODES. right? Kim points to the falling coins. KIM PINE There goes our deal. They share a smile. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) .. Ramona. Right now.
This is something I have to face on my own. Evil face. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona.. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. We actually have a lot in common. Scott and Negascott face off. THE WAREHOUSE . Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. They chat amiably. He’s a super-nice guy.but can you defeat. We just shot the shit..yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. GIDEON’S VOICE (O... The glasses GLIMMER. worried for Scott. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. Scott runs his fingers through his hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118. SCOTT No. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. Knives and Ramona.S.. Dark clothes. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him..... nothing. Fringed hair. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. shake hands and part ways. Then.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . They look expectantly at the entrance. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT.) You can defeat me. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses.. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face. Both take a step forward. KNIVES CHAU Your hair.
104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A.
then realizes Ramona has gone. but the past keeps catching up. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. Ramona sees this and smiles. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . I should probably disappear.. SCOTT I think I understand.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. RAMONA I dunno. you know? I came here to get away. though. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. Where are you going? Ramona. Snow begins to fall. He turns to see her. literally taking his guard down. B A RAMONA It's hard. F T Scott calls after her.. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. You do? Scott smiles. Steps tentatively away from Knives. RAMONA I should tahnk you. hoping to slip away. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. stops and turns back. SCOTT Hey. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly.
Scott watches. We hear a COUGH .S. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. RAMONA Well. She takes his hand briefly. Ramona walks on into the night alone. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad. then lets it drop.Nega Scott also sidles into frame.. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. T Surprised.) Go get her. You’ve been fighting for her all along. Knives doesn’t look back. then hearsKNIVES (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. She turns to walk off again. I’m too cool for you anyway.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. Before she’s gone. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives.. Bye and stuff. A (CONTINUED) . F KNIVES You earned it. We hear a 2ND COUGH . but thenSCOTT (O. And stuff.) Hey.. SCOTT Yeah.. Guitar still in hand.S.
104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside. it was apparently awesome.... RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could.. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door. Someone seriously should have been filming it.O.2. A We see the door with the star on it.. A STACEY (V.5..4.. Scott takes it.6..1.. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier... we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves. night magically turning to day. F JULIE (V.. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater.9.. try again? Ramona smiles.. CONTINUE? 10..INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B. snow swirling around it. standing right in the middle of the street.. it was a HUGE fight. T Over this magical transformation.8..3. sunrise coming up over Toronto. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. winter turning to spring.O..7.. Literally.) Oh my God. Yeah.. I mean bananas... It was unbelievable. .) Oh my God.
105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 120.
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