Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley



by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall

WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010

Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.



EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?



INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.


KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?

SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!

YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?

SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?



STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.








1A. 2

SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.






Knives crouches down to pick up her books. MOTHER CHAU. 45. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. Scott winks at the camera. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. Scott winks at Knives. cute and innocent with clothes to match. THE BUS . SCOTT (O. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. 2 KIM PINE Well. . books scattering everywhere.." Stars appear in Knives's eyes.S.. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. RATING: AWESOME. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT.) Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. She's Chinese. grumbling. demanding.. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU.. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. 17. sits next to her mother. 22 YEARS OLD. Scott grins heroically.

everyone looks at Scott. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN . KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 4 INT...DAY Back in the kitchen.INTEGRATED FINAL 2A.

DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. Scott opens the door a crack. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. SCOTT Oh. Let it be soon. 4 SCOTT Yes. man. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. She geeks. Scott smiles broadly.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. hey. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. She has the capacity to geek. B A Hey. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . He's the talent. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. Please be good. It is. Knives. SCOTT She’ll geek. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. I want her to geek out on us. this is Stephen Stills. 5 INT/EXT. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . really. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through.

INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. 6 INT. bass. (CONTINUED) . guitar. drums. sorry. KNIVES CHAU Hi.DAY Knives enters. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi.. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. KNIVES CHAU Wow. what was your name? KIM PINE (O..INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. that’s Young Neil. sticks in her hands.Zelda. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor.yes. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. LAME BRAND amps.. Lemme get your coat. who finally gets it. SCOTT Knives. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. Knives waves. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. wow. . YOUNG NEIL Oh. I just live here. that’s Kim. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Sex Bob-Omb has geared up.that’s kind of a big question. ratty rug..S. Amps hum to life.. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb...Tetris. I’m not in the band.

jaw ajar..EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome. F (CONTINUED) .amazing.wait. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . SCOTT KIM PINE Scott... feedback lingering. Knives watches. SCOTT B A Yeaaah. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended.. BUS STOP . if your life had a face I would punch it. 7 EXT.. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics. 8 INT. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like. Amazing.. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music.. KNIVES CHAU I can't even.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys..Sex Bob-Omb. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE. Kim.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5. Yeaaah. SCOTT Yeaaah. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. what? KIM PINE I mean.. The song ends. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus.are so..

ha. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. disloyal. WALLACE Yeah. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ..INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. . SCOTT So. SCOTT Yeaaaah. ha.. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. ROOMMATE. Kim. you were saying she seems awesome. I'm dating a 17 year old. she seems awesome. You're totally my bitch forever. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. Don’t tell too many people.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. arched eyebrow. ha. "WALLACE WELLS. FUTON included. 24 YEARS OLD. dark hair. The whole seventeen year old thing. yes. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. SCOTT Neil. turns to Young Neil. one room apartment.


starts texting. Don’t tell my sister. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. Scott picks up. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. Duh. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. Who told you? STACEY Wallace.S. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. Knives Chau. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside." A STACEY (O.S. WALLACE (O. peppy barista. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. 9 SCOTT I mean. The phone goes. WALLACE You know me. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. 19. SCOTT That’s not true.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. Scott sinks into an armchair. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN.) You know me. cute. you will not be served”.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . YOUNGER SISTER.

Uniformed boys and girls pour out. CATHOLIC SCHOOL .. SCOTT This school has boys too. We haven’t even held hands. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named.. more like. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. you know? It's just. 10 EXT. I think she hugged me once. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly.simple. are you legitimately moving on. WALLACE I hate you. At all. 9 SCOTT Yeah.. (CONTINUED) .. STACEY (CONT’D) So. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. F T A SCOTT I don't know. STACEY Um..INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here... you haven’tSCOTT No no no.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. so I wouldn't call it dating. Scott. SCOTT’s just nice. STACEY Oh my God. the whole deal..

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.

T A WALLACE Yes. Whispers. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O.. You know.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. The game ends. like. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize.. WALLACE You're too good for him. Run. counting down: 10. side by side. KNIVES CHAU Oh.. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. Scott looks at Knives. KNIVES CHAU Oh. SCOTT Hey Knives. this is my cool gay roommate. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. CONTINUE appears.9. Wow... I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION).8. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close.. She digs for quarters. Wallace Wells.. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. SCOTT Yeah. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. He’s gay.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott.. 11 INT. Does he wear glasses? .S. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) THE ARCADE .

SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. Thank you. 13 INT. slices in hand. 22. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. Hangers click in time. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. THE GOODWILL . SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. 12 EXT.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. Bobby. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. but you guys ROCK. "PIZZA PIZZA" . F T A A13 INT. we're already pretty big.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. Knives. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. Julie. SCOTT Well. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. you guys are gonna be HUGE. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. .

(to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. 13 SCOTT Thank you. Julie.

I've.. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . so whatever. KNIVES CHAU . you were saying about me? 14 EXT.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them.. 15 EXT. SCOTT Sorry.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. 11. SCOTT Yeah. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .I've never gone out with someone so talented. SCOTT Me neither. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . I heart them so much. F KNIVES CHAU I mean. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the KNIVES CHAU Oh. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. Scott hugs her. But that’s just me.

okay. . WALLACE'S APARTMENT . KNIVES CHAU Oh.. SCOTT Oh God. skirt and goggles. She wears fishnets.... SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott.. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands.Scott wanders alone through a barren land. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. Wind blows.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. Her pink hair is funky but SCOTT Here you go. The light snowfall turns into sand. Wow. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals... sitting up in the alone. 16 (CONTINUED) . He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus.. Wow.SCOTT WAKES UP. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. You're just having some idiotic dream..HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house... rubbing his eyes.. 17 INT. She is hotter than the desert sun.. But she's gone. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God.? .. THE DREAM DESERT . an army jacket. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone.

Scott? A scruffy. WALLACE Speaking of new. 17 WALLACE What is it. 22. WALLACE What is it. six in the morning. Sunlight ignites the room. SCOTT But there was this girl.. Other Scott goes back to sleep. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house.. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream. SCOTT No. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. Wallace rubs his eyes. It was somebody new. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested..INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. it wasn’t her.. OTHER VOICE Oh God. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. F T A . Scott opens the bathroom door. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like.


STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again.. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. I’ll be quieter. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: hand slipped. Time slows to a crawl. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song.S. SCOTT Uh.. He carries a stack of books for Knives. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. SCOTT It was. head still in the clouds..uh.. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. STEPHEN STILLS (O. Let’s talk about something else.CA to the librarian.. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention.. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. (CONTINUED) .

SCOTT . so.. what are we doing? 20 EXT. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee.. Scott's head is still in the clouds. Scott exits frame. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . Both have red plastic cups in hand. man. JULIE'S HOUSE . Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. 21 INT.. Kim Pine. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. I thought you guys split. retard.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott.. there may be some label guys there. But. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . This is going to suck. F SCOTT Aw. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's.. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. KIM PINE We're going to this party.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party.. 19 SCOTT Sorry.this sucks. T SCOTT Ugh. you know. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom.


15A. 21

Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?







16. 21

SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?

Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER






Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.

Scott begins to babble.


SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.



17. 22

SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.

Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.

Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?


JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...










SCOTT I dreaming?

24.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE.

Stephen Stills is with her. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18.Flowers. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. arms crossed. Scott does not. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. SCOTT Yeah. Got a job with Amazon. Comes into my work. Aged 8” and yet.. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass.. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. Now. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. JULIE She just moved here.

. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE . Stephen.yes. But I didn't want Scott to know that. B A (CONTINUED) F T A ..INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A.

me and Kim are all good now. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. I don't know what it is about that girl. JULIE Whatever. We hear the sound of arctic winds. let’s leave it at that. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. He’s totally dating a high schooler. 22 SCOTT Yeah. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. she justJULIE Scott. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. Ramona is out of your league. . whoa. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. SCOTT looks to KIM. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk.

F T (CONTINUED) A .NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. WIDE awake.. and hey! There she is. From my dream... Wallace storms in.. SCOTT I think she’s.. I don't know what it is about that girl. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT.. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. WALLACE Library. landing next to Scott. that girl.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway.. SCOTT So.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup. WALLACE You think he’s. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. 23 WALLACE You guess right.. WALLACE There he is. 20... Okay. Wallace flops onto the futon. WALLACE Girl.

Wallace. RINGY RING! Scott answers. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) . INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. Bye.. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.girlfriend.. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something. 23 WALLACE Mmm. SCOTT Wait.... WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. cellphone in hand. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.. who is out cold. Who told you? STACEY Duh.. B A STACEY Well. friend.fake.up.high school.. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace. Wallace drifts off. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. SCOTT What’s that? Break. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right.. I should send out a mass text about this..

!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring.. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool... SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK.. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O. . This is..Amazon..hmm.. 23 SCOTT Wallace.” Scott walks to the front door.) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright... Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. My name is Matthew Patel. Scott sits at Wallace's computer. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE . Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days. Pilgrim..INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.this is..S.THIS IS.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon.... It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon. SCOTT "Dear WALLACE Scott. Moments pass.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. WALLACE It's the weekend. 23 SCOTT Maybe.

still distracted.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. SONIC BOOM .DAY A . Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. 26 EXT. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy. SCOTT Attack hug. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. Uh huh. PIZZA PIZZA .. THE GOODWILL . SCOTT That's sucky.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. Scott JUMPS to his feet. B 25 INT.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door.. 23 DINGY DONG. Scott doesn't eat.. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. Knives chows down on a slice. He plasters on his best fake smile. That’s cute.. out of sync. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. his thoughts elsewhere. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work.

INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A.but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek.. B A F T A . SCOTT I tell ya'.. 26 KNIVES CHAU .

..INTEGRATED FINAL 24. alone by the window. KNIVES CHAU (O. everybody.2.. Knives BURSTS into frame. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott.squares up against Scott’s avatar. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. THE ARCADE . Scott winces.. The Rockit. Game.10.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb.. NegaNinja.I... KNIVES CHAU Uh oh...... staring out. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on.. but he messes up..B. SCOTT Um. (CONTINUED) .I think. his timing off. SCOTT I can never get past that guy.B. 27 INT. On.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION.. A NEGANINJA . Scott tunes his bass. This is never easy. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show.. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .1. Scott plays halfheartedly. And even better? It’s the T.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off. I think.. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up.. 3. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives.S. side by side. 28 INT. Scott takes a deep breath.9.8.

KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . It’ll be the cool kids too.) Oh my gosh..) Crash and the Boys.S. KNIVES CHAU (O. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. This guy at work was like "Steve.S.. She grabs Scott. F Oh. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. Knives can barely contain herself. SCOTT Sure. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. man. Great.

they suck. .S.S. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.S.) Yeah.) Oh my gosh. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.

. it's just like. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi.. um..INTEGRATED FINAL 26. entering.. Scott exits the bathroom. DINGY DONG. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. I was thinking about asking you out. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. but then I realized how stupid that would be... WALLACE'S APARTMENT . you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. BATHROOM .a long. that's okay.. and you were in my dream.. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL . He stares at himself in the mirror. RAMONA Um.MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right.. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. around a corner. SCOTT RAMONA No. 29 INT. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. A (CONTINUED) . down a row of LOCKERS leading to.. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. no. skating past Scott and down the hall. I dreamt you were delivering me this package.. 30 INT.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. Scott runs after her.? 30 . Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces..

INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27. SCOTT Okay well. SCOTT But if I sign for it.. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place.. You’d be impressed. She gives him a pen. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. Noooooo. (CONTINUED) F T A .. RAMONA You still have to sign.. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. RAMONA Yeah. RAMONA You know. you're like American? RAMONA Why. right? I've lived here forever. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. I need to sign for this. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. Not even. That's how it works.. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. I was the other guy. you'll leave. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. That was some total ass. SCOTT So.. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me.

SCOTT Sorry. Oh. PARK .NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude... yeah. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um.. I'm totally waiting on you. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say know.. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT.if that's cool. . will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. RAMONA I need to find a new route. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom. 31 SCOTT You are like. You assumed wrong. RAMONA Well. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28.. dream girl.. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. And throws the package straight in the trash.

is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. RAMONA This is good..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. RAMONA He’s.. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess.. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do.a friend.. F SCOTT Is Gideon. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so. They sit on some swings in the park... SCOTT This is good. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence.

INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. . Chilled as in cold. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those.. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. SCOTT Well. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy.. RAMONA Yeah. It’s weird. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. it’s certainly chilled here. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. B A Um. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. RAMONA Uh.

. Ramona hops off her swing. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. RAMONA Well.. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. SCOTT I feel so stupid. no. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster.. The snowfall gets heavier. SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA Anyway. A Tongue. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me.. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. night’s not over yet. you’re probably not that stupid...INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31.... I can barely see you. I believe you. 34 SCOTT It’s.. Laughing. Ramona walks away. SCOTT So this is a 'date'.. RAMONA Dude. Wallace is pretty gay.. You're too desperate to be gay. relax. yeah. . RAMONA This is ridiculous. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. mostly stupid. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still.

... I can’t see you.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. I’m blind. Help me. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . I. SCOTT A door? I.. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door.

F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime..cold! RAMONA (O. green tea with lemon. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. girl friendly apartment. SCOTT (O. Ramona opens the door. He wanders towards a half open door. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. vanilla walnut. liver disaster. After a moment alone. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me.S. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. Scott ventures upstairs. ginseng. white truffle. sleepytime. What is that? B Ramona exits.) AAAH! Sorry.S. green tea. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. Pushing it open. blueberry chamomile..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. does this help? SCOTT (O. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket. ginger without honey. constant comment and earl grey..) Here.S. RAMONA'S APARTMENT .) That's. I'm just. raspberry. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. He watches as she slips out of her coat. vanilla almond.. green tea with lemon and honey. T A (CONTINUED) . 35 INT..very warm. ginger with honey..

The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off. RAMONA I changed my mind. Scott takes his shirt off....not have tea.kay. Scott is in heaven. A Ohh... They look into each others eyes. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you.what about our tea? SCOTT I can. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later... They tumble onto the bed and make out.kay... You can sleep in my bed. circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session... revealing black panties to complement black bra.. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline..INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33. Ramona breaks off. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott... F T SCOTT Maybe. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh. A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you.since we're so cold.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess. RAMONA Well. smiling. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him. Not right now.maybe we should both get under it.. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.

I think I needed this. just this.oh. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. 35 SCOTT This is cool. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. So. B A 37 EXT.. RAMONA'S APARTMENT ..MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. . Ramona is gone. Scott relaxes..that was a joke. Scott walking next to her. Whatever this is. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. They exchange a smile. RAMONA I have to work. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. Ramona skates towards the front gate. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT.. RAMONA You're welcome. and this is. RAMONA'S ROOM .. It's been like a really long time. I didn't even get any. Please come.. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. thanks. SCOTT Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. we're terrible.


WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. reaching Scott at the bar. STACEY And this is Wallace. right back next to Scott. She hands him a note. Scott Pilgrim. THE ROCKIT . Ramona is already skating far. Scott looks back up. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. WALLACE Hey. girl number. SCOTT Oh... . 212 664-7665. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. far away.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. his room-mate. I did totally come. hey! It’s tonight. his social skills vanish.At The- “THE ROCKIT. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. Scott is so amazed at her presence. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS.. B A F T 38 INT. He’s chronically enfeebled. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”. I’m Stacey. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. RAMONA Hey.. STACEY Excuse my brother.

THE ROCKIT.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. For sound check. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine.. 38 STACEY And this is Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. People love us. Wallace stares at Jimmy. 39 INT. BACKSTAGE . Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. Knives looks kinda sexy. Scott’sScott goes white. wake up. STILLS We were just on stage. The sound guy hated us... Knives and Ramona stare at each other. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. wake up.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. He pushes her away. To. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . He didn’t even see Knives come in.uh.. Go. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. SCOTT I. Scott scurries off. Stacey stares at Scott. PROMOTER (O. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. wearing makeup and new clothes.

.. THE ROCKIT. You passed. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. TOO? CRASH Yes. and these are the Boys. and it's called "We Hate You.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. Wallace yells from the balcony. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. gives Wallace the finger. . F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT.haven't started playing yet. BACKSTAGE . Jimmy. CRASH Thank you. TRASHA. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. A41 INT. STAGE . THE ROCKIT. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. WALLACE That was a test. STAGE .INTEGRATED FINAL 37.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. Kim glowers. Please Die. WALLACE Jimmy. 40 INT. I am Crash. THE ROCKIT. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy.04 seconds. 8 year old girl drummer." And it goes a little something like this.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . I am so very very sad.

INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate. B A F T A .

THE ROCKIT. 41 INT.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara.. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's.. THE ROCKIT. He's a friend. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. BACKSTAGE . we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. BALCONY . 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. STAGE . Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. Stacey turns to Ramona. These guys are good. He has so many friends. The audience are stunned. STACEY So Knives. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. THE ROCKIT. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience".um.CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage.. BACKSTAGE . how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. .. 43 INT. THE ROCKIT.

FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. TWO.. THE ROCKIT. staring at the reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB.. sees Stacey talking to Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 39.. ONE. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT..CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story.. I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott... BACKSTAGE .CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH.. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.yeah. F (CONTINUED) . She faints in the excitement. So give it up for Sex. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE. ANGLE on ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. STAGE .CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony. KNIVES CHAU Well. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. BALCONY . THE ROCKIT. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole. Scott nods vigorously.. 45 INT. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and.. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. THE ROCKIT.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on.

Pilgrim. Patel LANDS like a cat. Matthew Patel. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. Pilgrim. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. Alright. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. Consider our fight.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). They land in THE PIT. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . It is I. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle.. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. SCOTT Thank you.. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right...begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe.

47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. then holds his hand up for a time-out.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Scott blocks. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Patel punches. Scott blocks.

probably in the entire state. I told him to hit the showers. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. They exchange furious blows. Scott evades and counter-attacks. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. They pause. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. Scott jump-spins away from danger. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. Scott looks up to Ramona. breathing heavy. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. We were one hell of a team. in the seventh grade. then lands more punches. non-jock boy in school. all the little jocks wanted me. landing kicks and punches. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. After a week and a half. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. . Matthew was the only non-white. Patel evades. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. We only kissed once. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah.

47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A.

The house drum kit is trashed behind him. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. Maybe you’ll see. dodging a third wave of fireballs. POOF.. SCOTT Open your eyes.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. T A (CONTINUED) . Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. narrowly dodging the attack. It hits Patel square in the eyes. Scott rolls across the stage. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. He flips back onto the stage. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. wait. 47 SCOTT Dude.. Patel levitates into the air.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. Scott hits the ground. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. you’re not the brightest. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. Scott dodges. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott.

O! Scott punches Patel. 48 INT. Passes Stacey. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. Coins. BALCONY . Scott lands and picks them up. 47 K.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. He explodes into COINS. SCOTT Sweet. They clatter to the stage floor. THE ROCKIT.

..INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43.. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT... it was great meeting you.. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents.40? That's not even enough for the bus home. Ramona takes a breath.CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . who is being resuscitated by Tamara. 50 INT. clapping wildly from the balcony...NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. I guess. BALCONY . THE ROCKIT. Sex Bob-Omb wins. $2. 48 RAMONA like. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. THE BUS . The Promotor ambles back onstage. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. SCOTT Aw man. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT. Tell your gay friends I said bye. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. PROMOTER Yeah.but he is long gone. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives.. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. STAGE . Ramona yanks Scott away. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes.

The studio audience 'awwww's. SCOTT Cool. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. right? I got to second base last night.. yes. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. I guess. Scott bursts through the front door. SCOTT So. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. SCOTT Well.. 52 53 OMITTED INT. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. a spring in his step. . A bleary Wallace fries bacon. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. Do you want to make out? Uh.. And someone has a second date tonight. Scott kisses Ramona.. someone got to second base last night. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. I mean me.maybe first and a half. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. what you're saying is... The studio audience applauds. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's.

..but. SCOTT You’re a monster. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. Scott. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. T A . If you have a problem with it.. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum.. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine. WALLACE If you don't do it. so you can't be here tonight.. hey. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation.'s HARD. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives.You have to break up with Knives. I swear to God.. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. F SCOTT But you. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. I don't want you gaying up the're... WALLACE Okay. Today.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45. SCOTT But..

(MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.

this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. The one after that. 54 EXT.. KNIVES CHAU (O. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. Wallace turns the television way up.S...S. Knives. 46. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off. B A Ummm. SCOTT me pulling the trigger.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. hey. Hi. do you want to.. Uh.okay. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. Um. SCOTT Oh. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . like. bucko. I am stalking him later. Surprising no one.. The next click is me hanging up. SCOTT You suck. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O..DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller.

INTEGRATED FINAL 47. T (CONTINUED) A .LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. It’s not my favorite.. SCOTT Like. really. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder..and. just so bad. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town..are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. Like..I think that's a really bad idea. KNIVES CHAU Oh. KNIVES CHAU No. it's okay. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah. B A SCOTT Uh. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah. hey. 55 INT...... I'm in. It's my birthday dinner. Well. to meet my parents. Chinese food? Yeah.. SONIC BOOM . SCOTT And. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. pounding inside Scott's head. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist.

the word actually appears onscreen. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 55 Knives is so smitten. listen.I was thinking we should break up or whatever.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A... SCOTT Um. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop. Scott brushes it away.

INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. No. 57 SCOTT Oh.. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. you are the salt of the earth.. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone.. thanks. SCOTT Aw. 56 57 INT/EXT. 56 INT. I meant scum of the earth. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. We broke up.. Oh.'s not going to work out.. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs. thinking about Knives. in shock.. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . YOUNG NEIL You. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out.. thinks of something happier. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. SCOTT Aw.. her funky pink hair.. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2. THE BUS / RECORD STORE .. a little happier. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS.EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. Kim and Stills share a look. leaving Knives in the aisle. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. KIM PINE KIM PINE Scott. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT .

no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. weirded out by this hair development. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. Kim mimes shooting herself. This is sudden death now. whether they’re old. Young Neil. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp.. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. We were lucky to survive that last round. now sporting BLUE HAIR. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. I just dyed it. RAMONA Yeah. new or new-new.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49... SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. RAMONA Hey everyone. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. Kim. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah.. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. but don’t’re here? T A (CONTINUED) .. Like you said. B A Scott ushers her in. 57 SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT It’s all blue.. that’s. this is Stephen Stills. RAMONA Yes.

57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A.

Starts ushering Ramona out again. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. YOUNG NEIL . Get used to it.. Ramona goes to the bathroom... WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. SCOTT She changed her hair. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. KIM PINE Believe it or not. He’s an idiot. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. Good. preparing food as Wallace looks on. See you guys tomorrow. dude. KIM PINE Yeah.. I actually dated Scott in high school. Scott fake laughs.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. SCOTT Okay. Scott drops the act. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. good. Cool. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. 58 Ramona lounges. reading a magazine. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .


B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. A (CONTINUED) . “when”. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. Wallace pulls on a jacket. picnic style. Scott stops Wallace at the door. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. Fickle. come find me at the Castle. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. if you strike out in the next hour. Good.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. with a panicked whisper. 58 SCOTT I know. Ramona returns. See you in sixty. good. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. Impulsive. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. Oh my god. SCOTT Don’t go. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. She’s spontaneous.

Mona. Or just all the time without even stopping. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Ra-ra-ra. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. RAMONA You'd get fat. Mona. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. Ra-mona. A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. Ra-mona. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. Ooooh. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. it goes like this: Ra-mona. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. Ra-ra-ra. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. SCOTT No. Ramona is taken aback. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. Ra-mona.

Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears. It’s just that I got. sorry. she told me it was mutual. Then... T A . RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. But she stopped liking that name. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time.. Earl Jones deep.. No. 58 SCOTT Ha. It was... NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago.. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. It was brutal.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean. three hours before his big breakup. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in... I can barely remember it. I like it long. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. But it’s so long ago. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT.she stopped liking me. SCOTT Not really. RAMONA Your hair is cute. NARRATOR It wasn’t. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps. NARRATOR She dumped him.

58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk.. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. I just. They’re shooting this movie up here. a castle surrounded by big. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. I don’t know.heightened. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. I just love me some walking.. Not that I do drugs. F SCOTT Yeah. unless you make me feel.. in which case I do drugs all the time.. long handrail between them. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle.. RAMONA Oh. 59 EXT. Putting one leg in front of the other.I don't know. Let’s find out.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. . as if crossing a magical line. Things seem a little brighter around you or something..NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. who? SCOTT I forget. ENDLESS STAIRWAY . bright movie set lights. every drug. T A SCOTT Nooo. but. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY.

smoking a cigarette (blacked out). RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. Mr. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown.D.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. We gotta go. FIRST A.INTEGRATED FINAL 55. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. 60 EXT. T (CONTINUED) A . Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. doing kickflips. B A What? Why? Slut. CASA LOMA . I am not a slut. The spectators go “oooh”. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. RAMONA Oh. He skates towards the set. including Wallace. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. man. RAMONA Ooh.

. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott.. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. I just remember there being lots of drama. LUCAS LEE Action. SCOTT Oh.. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. Actually.. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56.. We had drama. SCOTT . . RAMONA He just followed me around... I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott. He was a little snot nosed brat. it might have been dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade.. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. who remains oblivious. who

Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. wobbly. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. He nods to Ramona. Evil ex. flooring him. How’s life? He seems nice. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Fight. crumbling it. . SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. WALLACE Scott.

all identically dressed. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. smirking on the sidelines. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. A . punchy. Suddenly. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs.S. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. SCOTT Hey.. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. Scott stands to fight the double.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN.. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. He slides across the wet-down ground. LUCAS LEE He’s good..) Looks like you’re seeing double. SCOTT (O.S. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic.) Mr. Tae Kwon Doe style. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. hey. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. Lucas Lee wanders off. Scott staggers to his feet. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around..

bro. Lucas offers a hand. LUCAS LEE Prepare. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. Scott goes to shake it... well then don't worry about framed through the torn skyline. . Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. preparing for the deathblow. Let’s get a beer. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP.. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. 60 Lucas turns. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. shocked to see Scott.. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. SCOTT You’re needed back on set.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. Lucas stomps over to him. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor...

.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. HSSSSSSSSS. Lucas pulls down his shirt. if it’s too hardcore. impressed at Lucas. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. F T A (CONTINUED) . LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. ese. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard... Big fan.. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. WALLACE Hi. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. revealing a skate company tattoo.. SCOTT So you can sell them. a perfect ollie onto the rail. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. SCOTT Wow... LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. very impressed at Lucas. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.. I have my own skate company. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. SCOTT Hey. bro. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs.

Scott smacks his forehead. he totally bailed. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. 60 SCOTT Wow. WALLACE Wow.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. HSSSSSSSSS. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs. B A (CONTINUED) F T A ... SCOTT Yes! Fist bump.

please record your message after the beep. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. 61 INT. Uh. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. Scott again. you said that last night. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . she totally bailed. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. T SCOTT Hey. phone pressed to his ear. RAMONA is not available. . It’s me..D.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. It was right under your nose. Call me back. 212 664-7665. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. Scott Pilgrim. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. A Scott slumps on the couch.that’s a wrap everybody. 60 FIRST A..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60.

guy. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. it’s “love”. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. Either way. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. Scott slides to the floor. Scott.. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . WALLACE If you want something bad. A SEXY.) Hey Scott. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. you have to fight for it. Step up your game.S. RINGY RING. I need you to move out. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. Look. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. You have the spirit of a warrior. then you have to let her know. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. completely shocked at this bombshell. Break out the L-word. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. VOICE (O. Scott picks up..


62. 61

SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?

SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?


Uh. No.

ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)


SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.




63. 61

SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.

WALLACE Or does it?

Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.

Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.

Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62

Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62


Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.


KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?


WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?



Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.


63A. 62

WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.






SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. SCOTT Okay. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. technically this is not a nightmare. 62 SHFFF .SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. I’ve had it today. . Prepare to die. obviously. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. darlin’. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. Hits SOMETHING. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. T SCOTT Listen. She spins to face Scott. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. SCOTT Wait. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. SHWAA . but I just cashed my last raincheck. He’s pissed now.

really not up for this. (MORE) B A 63 EXT.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. Someone help me. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. SCOTT It’s Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. STACEY (O. Scott looks to the sky. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken.S.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . it’s Scott. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF .the Mystery Attacker vanishes. SCOTT Oh man. baffled. dialing Stacey frantically. It’s actually me. But you won’t see me. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. BLOOR STREET . then I’ll see you later. STACEY (O. Whatever it is.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. I’m really.S. Scott is in his usual payphone. SCOTT Well. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right.

Stacey has her back turned. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. (CONTINUED) . Stacey turns around.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. SCOTT Cool. I’m coming in.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. And by the way. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. mouthing that she has to go.) I’m literally about to leave. Scott turns back to Julie. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT.S. 63 STACEY (O. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". not happy. Are you still working? 65. THE SECOND CUP . Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about.

JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. "ENVY ADAMS. They share an awkward moment. No biggie. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. I do that. I know it's early days.. 23. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again.. (CONTINUED) A Exes. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. No. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. SCOTT No. I want to hang. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. RAMONA Yeah. SCOTT Yeah. A . 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66.." The icy. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. You kind of disappeared.. She looks at the floor. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. Listen. RAMONA SCOTT I mean.

You’re so on the list.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. Ramona goes to order coffee. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen.. so totally come. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. RAMONA I’m gonna. I know. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. ENVY Great. . SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. I’m jealous. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY Okay. You guys should like. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT.. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him.excuse me. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon.

. SCOTT I can see how it sucks. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. sipping their coffees. This guy Todd. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. F T RAMONA So. That. that was Envy. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. Having the past come back to haunt you. RAMONA And two weeks later. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend.. 65 SCOTT No. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah.that was Nat? ..what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So.. 65 EXT. Ramona returns. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. About.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. That didn’t end well either. How.

65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A.

Move on. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 66 Scott stands (no pants). Scott and Young Neil. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. 66 INT.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. Mm.. Tricky. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT.. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. SCOTT Double negative. Music swells. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . From this moment on. B A Word. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. SCOTT Right. Ramona stops and kisses him. Ramona lounges on the couch.

The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. STEPHEN STILLS No. And Envy asked us to open for them. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A.

DRUG SMART . for the band? For the band.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. We need groundswell. We need stalkers. We need to get some buzz going. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. Is a gig. SCOTT Yeah. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. 67 SCOTT I hate you.EVENING B A Yeah. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. .KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE.. pressed against the window. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. You know. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing.. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it.

A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot.. looking sexy. KNIVES’ BATHROOM . Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. eyes narrowing. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. This is all her fault. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT.EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. (CONTINUED) . Knives throws a long scarf on.INTEGRATED FINAL 71. KNIVES’ BEDROOM .. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE good. 68A INT.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. so he tried to find someone cool but old.I look so.. this really burns.. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God.

OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. She knows we suck.Sold out’. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. Now. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. LEE'S PALACE . Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. Ramona excuses herself. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. 71 71 INT. Tamara pops into frame. Bar. But I know how to get him back. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly.NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. PUSH into Knives. drunk. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. LEE’S PALACE . TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. We were Sex Bob-Omb.CONTINUOUS A 70 . Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. as she plots. F T 70 INT. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. LEE’S PALACE . Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go.

Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. confused. standing next to Ramona. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. LEE'S PALACE. looking hot. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. Or is it.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. 17. Knives follows.. "KNIVES CHAU. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. SCOTT Briefly. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. clothes and makeup. RAMONA Hey. Briefly.. LADIES BATHROOM . 72 INT. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. LEE'S PALACE . RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. F T .MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner.

” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. 25.. Knives screams her teen brains out. LEE’S PALACE . Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back.. Stares at Scott.. You know? Oh yeah. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. ENVY in a long black coat.” and “Who. he cuts a handsome. "TODD INGRAM..MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around.. EVIL-EX #3. SPOOKY MUSIC begins.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her. Oh yeah. 75 INT. revealing a stunning figure. (turns beet red) I mean. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd.. (CONTINUED) . LEE’S PALACE. A I know. MENS BATHROOM . striking ROCK GOD figure. He’s alone.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. Pee time. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. I gotta pee. no longer shrouded in dry ice. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. (sing songy) Peee time. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. Envy lets her coat slip off.


Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. TODD INGRAM Been a while. Envy. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. Envy burns a hole through Scott. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. Just oh my God. YOUNG NEIL Man. Everyone else feels. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. RAMONA Mmm hmm. Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75.. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. you have to see them live. RAMONA Hey Todd.. LEE’S PALACE. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. They’re so much better live. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) .NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room.“AWKWARD”. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage.

ENVY So... they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. Todd and Julie glare at Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. ENVY I was just there.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. I like your outfit Ramona. Stephen. JULIE Ramona lived in New York.Envy? I read your blog. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah. ENVY Just saying.. you know? You suit each other. cute couple. You know him. it’s not something I can really put into words.. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. in general? T A . 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. KNIVES CHAU Um. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. Did you get those jeans in New York. Envy. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy.

POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .Knives stands up. 77 Scott looks at Ramona. She is about to answer when...INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A.

are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. JULIE So. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. ENVY You’re incorrigible. grasping his neck.. Hair. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. Her..yy. Young Neil escorts Knives out. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . Todd sits back down like nothing happened. I’m not afraid to hit a neck.your hair.. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. TODD INGRAM That’s right.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. Her hair is black and plain as before. Scott hovers. Out. Scott boils. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK.. 77 Envy nods at Todd.. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd.. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. choking. Of. SCOTT KK. Todd smirks. I’m a rock star. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights... TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word.

While the others bicker. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. if you knew the science.vegan. SCOTT No kidding.. He moans in pain. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. question. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. Scott sails out of shot and into space. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall.. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. despite being in a lot of pain. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man.. I always wondered. He tries to keep cool. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. A (CONTINUED) . TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe.anyone can be. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. SCOTT If I peed my pants. TODD INGRAM Bingo.. Ramona helps Scott to his feet.


RAMONA (V. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. RAMONA (V. It’s pretty crazy. RAMONA (V. Nobody cares.) We hated everyone. It’s part of the reason I moved here. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. Nobody that. RAMONA Look.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. It was pretty crazy. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff.) A week and a half later. so I dumped him. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. RAMONA (V. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. A (CONTINUED) . B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. I guess that’s not very nice...O. We wrecked stuff.O.O.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by.O. A brief. but I used to be kind of. 77 SCOTT Oh.

...sort of ready for another round.dust..cleans up. I and he! Scott stands up . Right? ENVY Basically. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. We hear a distant CRUMP. TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. so. And the cleaning lady. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. T SCOTT A SCOTT I. STEPHEN STILLS Uh... Scott CHARGES at Todd.dislike you. call us when you’re done. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice.nice! F Um. Stills calls through the hole. She dusts... ‘cos Todd is going to kill you..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80..ready for another round.Monday. B A SCOTT Sorry.. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business. SCOTT He and me. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona . SCOTT You used to be so.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. 77 ENVY Oh. he’ll be done real soon.

F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. floating towards Scott with his bass. I know.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. 78 INT. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. Scott turns around on his knees. Pilgrim. Your bass hand is badly injured. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. I actually know how to play bass. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. ENVY Sorry. Todd LEVITATES. Crummy way to end things. LEE’S PALACE. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. You’re through. 79 (CONTINUED) . Scott crashes into a backstage food table. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. shredding him into oblivion. amp pegged to 10. Todd calls to a roadie. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. baby. The good one. fauxhawk rising. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. picking the hell out of his bass. Envy grins at Ramona. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. wicked. Todd floats toward him. savoring the kill.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. He hovers next to him. cringing. Suddenly. LEE'S PALACE . Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott.

but that's pathetic. 79 ENVY I’m sorry. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A.

you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. in my mind's eye or whatever. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. A . Todd floats to the ground. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book. you knowingly ingested Gelato.. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. You know. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. I'll take the one with soy.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82.m. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. on February 1st. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. bitch. SCOTT Actually. no vegan powers. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. takes one of the cups and drinks.m. 7:30 p. Thanks. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. I poured soy in this cup. tool. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge.

Julie pops into shot.. Ramona follows. Envy stares. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. Natalie. in shock. (CONTINUED) . B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. So I guess we’re even. disgusted. sorry I guess.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. F SCOTT Uh. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. SCOTT Maybe they should. shooting Envy a look on the way out. jaw ajar. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. Envy blinks. ENVY No one calls me that anymore.. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. 79 Envy gasps. I know. Now let’s get out of here.

80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. A (CONTINUED) . PIZZA PIZZA .. I am so pissed off for you right now. Ramona and Scott. I liked him. 80 INT. It’s an odd mood.. That Todd guy was cool too. And hot. 79 JULIE For the record. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. Stills coughs. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. STEPHEN STILLS Neil.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84.oh. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. ENVY Shut the fuck up. WALLACE Envy Adams. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. KIM PINE Then why would we. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. Julie. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. on the fringes. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb.

AFTER PARTY . So let’s go. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives.NIGHT A Oh. so. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. Ooh. Ramona falls back with him. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. Scott takes another bite. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge.. Oh. Hey. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . B 81 EXT. not with fists. He shrugs. we can totally go. Yet. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. Scott limps a bit. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. lagging behind. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night.. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. WALLACE I mean.

I’m fine.. It’s justRAMONA It’s just..? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 81 SCOTT No. I’m fine.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.


86. 81

SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?

SCOTT that good?

SCOTT But not...later?

SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82




RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.


RAMONA It’s what I need right now.


RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.


87. 82

RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.

SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.

They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?

We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.

They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.


That’s it?

RAMONA And what about you and Kim?

SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.


SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.



RAMONA And was she cool with that?


88. 82

Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.

SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.

PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?



SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA

SCOTT Why do you keep saying-


RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.


In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.


. SCOTT What.. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. clearing the busy dance floor. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North. no one can. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious... ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. B A ROXY Well honey. ROXY Back off hasbian. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s F T A (CONTINUED) .talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. Roxy flips out of the hold. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. 23. If Gideon can’t have you.. The girls square off.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89.” RAMONA It was just a phase. 82 ROXY Oh boy. does she know me.. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you.she. The League hath spoken. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air.

you slag. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. She BLOCKS with the hammer. leaving a dent in it. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. this is live? Uh huh. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. It smashes a speaker. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. With blinding speed. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. Ramona. The belt wraps around it. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. F WALLACE Oh yeah. This is a League game. ROXY Give it a rest. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. RAMONA Believe it. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. He’s a creep. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. Or possibly feet. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.

. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. He lands HARD on the floor. She grins at Ramona. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy.. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. They’re soft. winces.. She staggers.never. kicking them apart with the able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. RAMONA Whenever we were making out.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. Roxy lifts her leg over her head.. RAMONA You don’t have a choice.. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. still in the splits. Roxy falls. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. ROXY Fight your own battles. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey... Some sooner than others. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling.

People text furiously and point fingers at Scott. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 The party starts up again. a wave of gossip spreading around the room.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A.

Ramona follows tentatively. SCOTT Only on special occasions. RAMONA I really think we should split. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. Scott has already downed his second drink.. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. Ramona tries to lighten things.. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. T A (CONTINUED) . F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. She touches her hair. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. The gossip echoes around them. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. RAMONA Sooooo. Looks hurt.

Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A.

RAMONA (CONT’D) P. RAMONA Dirty laundry. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. Ramona exits proper. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party.NIGHT B A But then . handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with.Ramona returns..” 83 INT. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. Here’s your stupid list. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. GIDEON. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. INGRAM. KATAYANAGI TWINS. You’re drunk.S. In fact I’m sick of it. Ramona leaves. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. A (CONTINUED) .. RICHTER. I thought you might be more understanding. Scott looks at the list. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . You. LEE. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. It reads“PATEL.


94. 83

We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.

STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.


EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...


STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84


SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.


SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.



94A. 84

Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.







95. 84

STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?

SCOTT That’s impossible85


Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.

KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.

Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.







STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?


Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands.. is serious and very Japanese. They are chatting. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. is very serious and Japanese. leaving a huge hole in the roof. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. Now an open air venue. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. Scott. 23...INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96..S. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right. Can we do this? I mean. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. Scott turns bleak again...) They brought the house down.. SNOW falls onto the stage. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. The crowd cheers. KEN KATAYANAGI. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. (CONTINUED) . An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. She is totally there. 23. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. Scott and Stills get into battle position. She looks happy. KYLE KATAYANAGI. A wall of FEEDBACK builds.. we can do this. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. AUDIENCE DUDE (O.

This is GIDEON GRAVES. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. Scott. comes in heavy on the kick drum. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. 37. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. SCOTT Gideon. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim.. here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude.. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. they sound awesome. He struggles to his feet. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. SCOTT Alright. For once. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. Kyle looks at Ken. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. We’re done. then helps Kim up. T A (CONTINUED) . fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. They share a nod. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE.

A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. Knives watches him go.was epic.. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. I have something I need to tell you.. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. 86 EXT. different. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. The crowd goes bazooky. hovering next to Scott.. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. RAMONA Yeah. different.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. SCOTT Ramona. SCOTT Getting a life. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil.. but she and Gideon are gone. Scott follows. What are you doing? .. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. I’m not even stalking you. THE NINTH CIRCLE . KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. He can’t find Ramona. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue.. eyes narrowing. SCOTT You seem. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. SCOTT Ramona. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building.

And I want you to know. . Listen. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. I don’t care about any of that stuff. really mean it. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A.

Ramona looks at the floor.. GIDEON GRAVES You know. Stills is ga-ga. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind.. B A Bob-omb. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up.. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. VOICE (O. 86 RAMONA Oh. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes. Oh okay. captioned “PEE”.I can’t help myself around him.. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. T RAMONA It’s Gideon.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch.) That’s the bad news.. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. A driver opens the passenger door. Scottie. I just. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. A (CONTINUED) .S.. The Lincoln parks. Okay. Scott glowers. I’m signing you right now for a three album's not going to work out.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.

I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. she wouldn’t be back with me. Kim shrugs and signs it too. keep your emotions in check. Scott. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. So I guess it all shakes out. There are hand shakes all round. buddy. bass in hand. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. SCOTT Nuh-uh. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. A . you would have never been with Ramona. but if it wasn’t for you. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. I mean. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. before trying to hand it back to Scott. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. if it wasn’t for me. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. can I just say. A cough. Scott stands alone. we should really be thanking each other. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. A meek Young Neil slides into view. GIDEON Oh and Scott. GIDEON And hey.

NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone.INTEGRATED FINAL 100A... A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona.. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN .. 87 INT... Scott tries desperately to think positive. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car. thinking about Ramona... 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

“OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. Scott remains in the exact same position. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. 88 B A STACEY Oh. Night turns to day.NIGHT Scott enters.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends. Well that’s not so bad. F T A STACEY (O. Stacey heads off. gives Scott a hug. SCOTT Seven. little brother. Over PITCH BLACK. STACEY Time heals all wounds.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off.S. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. 88 INT.. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. Flicks the light on.S..INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101..NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. Day turns to night. staring straight ahead. “THONK”. Gets a shock. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott looks at the camera.. THE PARK .

and I apologize for that. Right. 88 WALLACE (O. That sucks.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. Wallace hands Scott cocoa.) It’s Chris. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too.) Or someone.) It’s Chris.S. it’s probably just because he’s better than you. A Right.) Sorry. But I need my own bed tonight. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. Scott sits in the chair. wrapped in a blanket. But you know. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 89 INT. VOICE (O. SCOTT And the year. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott. T . WALLACE Ah.S. you know I love you. WALLACE (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102. I get it. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe).S.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. For sex. SCOTT (O.S.S.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott nods. 89 Scott nods. WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A.

Are you with me? RAMONA (O. 89 WALLACE Either way. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. INT. I think this fight is over.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy.S.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No.S. Scott nods.) Yeah. GIDEON'S LAIR . SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. Some guy picks up. SCOTT RINGY RING. 91 (CONTINUED) . Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. I don’t want any hard feelings. He calls off. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . I just spilled cocoa on my crotch. Scott stares at the phone.S. it’s gonna be alright. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. T A Thanks. pal. F GIDEON GRAVES (O.) Hey.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. SCOTT (O.

and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. What do you say? . The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. Whatever. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. Finish him. SCOTT Mm. Click.S. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. HIPSTER KID Cool.S) Sure you did. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. STREETS OF TORONTO . Maybe I’ll see you there. 92 EXT. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O.) What a perfect asshole.) I hope so. amigo. alarmed. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing.S. Well as you know. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. B Password? Scott shrugs. leaning against a warehouse wall. Scott turns. F SCOTT WALLACE (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104.

HIPSTER KID Cool. B A F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. So far so good. WAREHOUSE . 93 INT.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. Scott steps into the elevator.

. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. Chuck Taylors. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. their first album is so much better than their first album. 94 INT.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. skinny jeans. YOUNG NEIL on bass.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT.. COMEAU holds court among them.S. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. now using SWEET BRAND amps. They are legion. Don’t give him the satisfaction. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy.. COMEAU Yeah. (CONTINUED) . STEPHEN STILLS Well.INTEGRATED FINAL 105.. wearing identical outfits. Ramona kneels at his side. CHAOS THEATRE . Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. SCOTT What if I have a beef. looking up at his former bandmates. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. then you’re doomed.the CHAOS THEATRE.

flexes. whatever. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving. (CONTINUED) . I’m in love with her. It’s ancient history. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because.O.. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. Ramona looks away from Scott. Gideon stands up. League. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. Gideon smiles. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. NARRATOR (V.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. buddy.) Scott earned the power of love. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song.. Gideon loses his cool. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke.buddy. A new power comes over Scott.. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads.. Scott gets into a fighting stance.

She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. both concerned and amazed. Then from above.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. (CONTINUED) . by the way. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. Gideon raises his sword. we are here to make money. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. to administer a final blow. My cane.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. KNIVES CHAU (O. Scott looks to Knives. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. She lands awkwardly. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. rolling to a stop. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. SCOTT Your club sucks. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. 18 YEARS OLD. Scott hits the ground HARD.. ON BEAT. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. exploding each attacker into COINS. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Gideon chuckles. “KNIVES CHAU. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle.S.. He slashes at them to the beat. and sell out and stuff. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL.. Gideon approaches..

INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. throwing blocks and punches. Kung Pao Chicken. He was warned plenty of times. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. distracted by his duelling exes. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. separating them. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. I didn’t steal anyone. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. T A (CONTINUED) . GIDEON lashes out at Scott. KUNG FU STYLE. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself.

neither amused. THE DREAM DESERT .cheat.maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY..) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott.. .SAND blows through frame.. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground. GIDEON (O..death. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind.... F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white. 95 EXT.. With you.. but you can’t... You can cheat on these ladies all you want.. Knives. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109. Okay? (beat) I mean.S. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat. rubbing his temples... 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody.DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us...Scott's eyes blink open. but.

Ramona appears out of nowhere. fainter than before. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. 95 SCOTT Ugh.

Dying probably sucks. That’s why I had to leave. it was me who was obsessed. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. Seeing as I’m about to die. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. the truth is. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull.. SCOTT That is evil. SCOTT Well. and that’s when he started paying attention. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. I was crazy about him. He just.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. has a way of getting into my head. self-consciously touching her hair. I mean.. eh? B A SCOTT Well. he literally has a way of getting into my head. RAMONA No.. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. T A (CONTINUED) . But he ignored me... SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. I really will leave you alone forever now. RAMONA Alright. Scott.. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. maybe now would be the time to get into it.. Ramona covers the chip. RAMONA He’s like that. that’s legitimately disappointing.

INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111.. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. Scott slumps to his knees. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. I guess. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . RAMONA alone. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you.. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand.. Ramona seeming to fade away. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD.. I really fought for you back there. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. 96 INT. DA-DING.. A Ahhhhhh.. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott. . T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. The winds blow harder. SCOTT . We had a good run.. He flicks the light on. SCOTT So. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way.. as Scott enters. Ramona is gone.

) Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O.. Chaos Theatre. during which I totally seized the sword..) Again? WALLACE (O..) Sure thing. GIDEON GRAVES (O. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. that’s you. pal.. GIDEON GRAVES (O.S.S. I feel terrible about everything. allies. 96 SCOTT . I need to ask one final favor of you. Gideon Graves. But before I do that. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. a call I considered refusing. Sadly. B A Um. So I did.S. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. SCOTT Wallace. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. guy. I was living in an ordinary world.S. I don’t want any hard feelings. hands him the phone.. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. On PITCH BLACK.) F T A (CONTINUED) .S. There were tests.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. But my Mentor. when my journey began. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. enemies. WALLACE (O.. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. I died.

sorry. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. 96 SCOTT Sorry. exposing his junk. hardcore.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A.

STREETS OF TORONTO .. knocking them out. COMEAU Yeah.. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. the new line-up rocks.. WAREHOUSE . B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. CHAOS THEATRE .. From this point forward. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. Stephen. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. SCOTT Don’t worry. 99 INT.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. you shall be known as “Neil”. 97 EXT. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. 98 INT.everything.. I know what I’m doing.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . Young Neil? You have learned well.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE.AGAIN. Kim shrugs. deadpan as ever.. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. You guys sound better without me. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. 96 SCOTT You seen one. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me.

99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

different than before. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. Ramona at his side.. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other. Scott goes straight into fight mode. He unsheathes his SWORD. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne.O. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. the club sucks.. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. exploding each attacker into COINS. A strange new power overcomes Scott.S. LEAPING in the air. My cane. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . Ramona and Scott lock eyes. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. backs to each other.I want to fight you for me. You’re pretentious. T SCOTT No. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. I have beef. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. let’s do it. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. They land on opposite sides of the platform.

Scott calls out.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. 99 Gideon falls down. apparently. Dead. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

They square off. Knives pulling KNIVES. RAMONA Never felt better. Scott jumps between them. GIDEON GRAVES (O. Scott GRABS her wrists. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. but still grinning. Knives. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. hands held out. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk.S. So. taste my steel. Ramona rubs the back of her're not a fat ass. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. And I’m sorry. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. Scott turns to Ramona. All turn to see GIDEON. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. stunned. She kicks him in the face. She didn’t mean that. bloodied. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. I cheated on you. The CHIP no longer blinks. Ramona staggered. Knives steps back.. I hurt you. SCOTT No. I was a different guy back then.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here..

you got a fight alright. Knives joins him. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. the three of them ready to rumble. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. GIDEON Ramona. 99 SCOTT Oh. Scott steps into a fighting stance. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

Knives attacks and scores a hit. . Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. Gideon spins low.his glasses glow. Knives whips off her scarf. baby. Ramona KICKS. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Gideon spins again and swings upward. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. They barely dodge him. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . They fence. Knives and Ramona. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. disarms Scott with one move. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. SCOTT ATTACKS. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. You’re still my girl. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. He grins. Scott’s sword SHATTERS.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. He cuts big arcs at Scott. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. He shakes off the assault and grins. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. Gideon BLOCKS. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Gideon BLOCKS. his HEALTH BAR increases. expecting her to move. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Scott leaps in the air. Knives throws her knives. dropping her. knocking her down. The swords create an “X”. Scott ducks. Gideon swings at Scott. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Gideon hits her back. takes a hesitant step towards him. Gideon jumps after him. They CLASH in the air. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. She looks doubtful. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum.

Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. You’re nothing. They Get up and circle Gideon. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. From the floor. 99 Scott lands hard. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. I’m blowing up right now. Not long now. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. sending him spinning. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. A pain in my ass. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. I’m what’s happening. You’re zero.. She lands painfully at the bottom. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. (CONTINUED) . she kicks him in the back of the head. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. defeated. One lens of his glasses cracks.. Knives and Scott share a look. Me? I’m what’s hip.

STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. Oh. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. right? Kim points to the falling coins. KIM PINE There goes our deal.S. makes her way towards them. Right now. 99 SCOTT You’re right. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. And you got another thing right... awake now.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid.. They share a smile. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. RAMONA (O.. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) .) You two make a good combo. You are blowing up. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. The coin rain continues. Ramona. Scott and Knives kiss. Gideon’s head EXPLODES.

Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. SCOTT No. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. Then. They chat amiably.. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. We just shot the shit. shake hands and part ways.. This is something I have to face on my own..S..but can you defeat.. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. Both take a step forward. B Scott strolls out with Negascott.. Fringed hair. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. Knives and Ramona. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. Evil face. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side.. Scott and Negascott face off. worried for Scott. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. THE WAREHOUSE .) You can defeat me. We actually have a lot in common..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118. nothing.. The glasses GLIMMER.. He’s a super-nice guy.yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. Dark clothes. They look expectantly at the entrance.


SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. SCOTT Hey. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. Ramona sees this and smiles. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. F T Scott calls after her. stops and turns back. then realizes Ramona has gone. hoping to slip away. but the past keeps catching up.. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. you know? I came here to get away. though. I should probably disappear. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. SCOTT I think I understand. Steps tentatively away from Knives. literally taking his guard down. RAMONA I dunno. B A RAMONA It's hard. You do? Scott smiles. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) .. Snow begins to fall. Where are you going? Ramona. RAMONA I should tahnk you. He turns to see her. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me.

) Go get her. Bye and stuff. Knives doesn’t look back. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A.. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad. We hear a COUGH . but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. SCOTT Yeah. Guitar still in hand.S. but thenSCOTT (O. then hearsKNIVES (O. Ramona walks on into the night alone.. And stuff.. then lets it drop. You’ve been fighting for her all along. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine.S..) Hey. A (CONTINUED) . We hear a 2ND COUGH . She takes his hand briefly. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. RAMONA Well. F KNIVES You earned it. T Surprised. She turns to walk off again. Scott watches. Before she’s gone.Nega Scott also sidles into frame. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. I’m too cool for you anyway.

4. Scott takes it. It was unbelievable.5.2.. it was a HUGE fight. try again? Ramona smiles.1. sunrise coming up over Toronto...8.... I mean bananas... RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could. F JULIE (V.) Oh my God. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. night magically turning to day.. Yeah. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater.6..7. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. Literally. A We see the door with the star on it.. CONTINUE? 10.. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves.9. standing right in the middle of the street.... 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside. T Over this magical transformation..O. Someone seriously should have been filming it. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door.. A STACEY (V. winter turning to spring. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off.) Oh my God...INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B.. snow swirling around it. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier..O. .. it was apparently awesome.3.


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