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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT.. 2 KIM PINE Well.. SCOTT (O.. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. She's Chinese." Stars appear in Knives's eyes.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag.. Knives crouches down to pick up her books. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. Scott winks at the camera. demanding. . RATING: AWESOME. Scott winks at Knives. grumbling. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS.) Hey. 45. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. sits next to her mother. MOTHER CHAU. cute and innocent with clothes to match. THE BUS . Scott grins heroically.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2.S. 17. 22 YEARS OLD. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. books scattering everywhere.
. everyone looks at Scott.DAY Back in the kitchen. KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 2A. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .. 4 INT.
this is Stephen Stills. SCOTT Oh. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. Scott smiles broadly. She geeks. It is. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. 4 SCOTT Yes. really.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. I want her to geek out on us. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. He's the talent. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. man. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. SCOTT She’ll geek. B A Hey. 5 An eager Knives stands outside.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. Let it be soon. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. She has the capacity to geek. hey. 5 INT/EXT. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Please be good. Scott opens the door a crack. Knives. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? .
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.
guitar. sticks in her hands.. I’m not in the band.DAY Knives enters.. . YOUNG NEIL Oh. (CONTINUED) .. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. SCOTT Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4.that’s kind of a big question. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. sorry.yes.S.. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. I just live here. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up.. that’s Kim.. Lemme get your coat. Amps hum to life. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb.Tetris. bass. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. Knives waves. who finally gets it.. KNIVES CHAU Hi. ratty rug. KNIVES CHAU Wow. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. wow. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. drums. that’s Young Neil. 6 INT.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim.Zelda. LAME BRAND amps. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives.
. Kim. SCOTT B A Yeaaah. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott.wait. 7 EXT. BUS STOP . do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended...amazing. if your life had a face I would punch it.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. 8 INT..EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys.. Knives watches. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. what? KIM PINE I mean. jaw ajar. KNIVES CHAU I can't even.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5. Amazing.. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR.. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics. The song ends. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. F (CONTINUED) . Yeaaah.. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome.are so. SCOTT Yeaaah. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like.. feedback lingering.Sex Bob-Omb..
ha. I'm dating a 17 year old. dark hair. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. ha. Don’t tell too many people.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. turns to Young Neil. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. one room apartment. SCOTT Yeaaaah. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. she seems awesome. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. The whole seventeen year old thing. Kim. WALLACE Yeah. You're totally my bitch forever..EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. SCOTT Neil. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. yes. you were saying she seems awesome. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. ROOMMATE.. . arched eyebrow. SCOTT So. FUTON included. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. "WALLACE WELLS. disloyal. ha. 24 YEARS OLD.
9 WALLACE Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . you know me.
gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. cute. Don’t tell my sister. The phone goes. YOUNGER SISTER. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. Scott sinks into an armchair. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. you will not be served”.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN.S. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. Scott picks up. Knives Chau. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. WALLACE (O. WALLACE You know me. peppy barista.S. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. 19. starts texting. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. Duh. 9 SCOTT I mean. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING.) You know me.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7." A STACEY (O. SCOTT That’s not true.
are you legitimately moving on. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. (CONTINUED) . WALLACE I hate you. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times..INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8.. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named.. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. SCOTT This school has boys too. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old.. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad. We haven’t even held hands. At all. F T A SCOTT I don't know.simple.. Uniformed boys and girls pour out.. STACEY Um. STACEY (CONT’D) So.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. SCOTT Well.it’s just nice.. 9 SCOTT Yeah. STACEY Oh my God. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. 10 EXT. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . so I wouldn't call it dating. Scott. more like. the whole deal. I think she hugged me once. you know? It's just.. you haven’tSCOTT No no no.
10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
KNIVES CHAU Oh. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize. You know. Wow... SCOTT Yeah. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace.wow. Whispers. side by side. counting down: 10. 11 INT. Wallace Wells.9. Scott looks at Knives. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck.. The game ends. CONTINUE appears.. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION). He’s gay.8.. WALLACE You're too good for him.. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O. SCOTT Hey Knives.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. this is my cool gay roommate.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move.. KNIVES CHAU Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. T A WALLACE Yes.S. like. THE ARCADE .. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed. Does he wear glasses? . She digs for quarters. Run. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind.
13 INT. SCOTT Well.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. Knives. but you guys ROCK.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. slices in hand. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. Thank you. you guys are gonna be HUGE. . 12 EXT. Hangers click in time. "PIZZA PIZZA" . KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. THE GOODWILL . KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. Julie. Bobby. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. we're already pretty big. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. 22. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. F T A A13 INT. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever.
13 SCOTT Thank you. Julie. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A.
11. SCOTT Yeah. KNIVES CHAU Oh. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . I heart them so much.. Scott hugs her. KNIVES CHAU . man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. F KNIVES CHAU I mean.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them. But that’s just me. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk.. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . you were saying about me? 14 EXT.no. so whatever. I've.I've never gone out with someone so talented. SCOTT Me neither. SCOTT Sorry.. 15 EXT. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life..DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment.
SCOTT Oh God.. 16 (CONTINUED) . But she's gone..INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus. 17 INT. okay..so alone..SCOTT WAKES UP.. She wears fishnets.so. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . The light snowfall turns into sand.. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott.Scott wanders alone through a barren land. an army jacket.. Her pink hair is funky but cool. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. THE DREAM DESERT . rubbing his eyes. Wind blows. You're just having some idiotic dream. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. She is hotter than the desert sun. SCOTT Here you go. . KNIVES CHAU Oh. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands.. Wow. sitting up in the FUTON. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure... skirt and goggles... MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone.? . Wow...
.. Scott? A scruffy. SCOTT No. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested. WALLACE What is it. Wallace rubs his eyes. It was somebody new. 22.. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. it wasn’t her. F T A .. Other Scott goes back to sleep.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. OTHER VOICE Oh God. Scott opens the bathroom door. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. Sunlight ignites the room. SCOTT But there was this girl. six in the morning. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. WALLACE Speaking of new. 17 WALLACE What is it.
18 INT.DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . THE LIBRARY .INTEGRATED FINAL 13A.
uh. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE ... B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago.. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. STEPHEN STILLS (O. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. SCOTT It was. I’ll be quieter.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT.S. Let’s talk about something else.. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION. head still in the clouds. SCOTT Uh. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. He carries a stack of books for Knives.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. Time slows to a crawl.. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch.CA to the librarian. (CONTINUED) .my hand slipped.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl..
INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. T SCOTT Ugh.this sucks. JULIE'S HOUSE . retard. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. Both have red plastic cups in hand. This is going to suck. F SCOTT Aw. man.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan.. SCOTT . 21 INT.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott.. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about.. 19 SCOTT Sorry.. KIM PINE We're going to this party. I thought you guys split. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. Scott exits frame. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. what are we doing? 20 EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. there may be some label guys there. so. But.. Scott's head is still in the clouds. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street.. Kim Pine. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . you know.
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 24.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A.
MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. arms crossed. Now. Aged 8” and yet. JULIE She just moved here. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. It’s so “Ramona Quimby.. Comes into my work.Flowers. SCOTT Yeah. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. Stephen Stills is with her. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. Got a job with Amazon. . Scott does not.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass.. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh.
yes... Stephen. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE . But I didn't want Scott to know that.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. SCOTT looks to KIM. We hear the sound of arctic winds. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. . He’s totally dating a high schooler. 22 SCOTT Yeah. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. I don't know what it is about that girl. she justJULIE Scott. whoa. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. JULIE Whatever. let’s leave it at that. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. me and Kim are all good now. Ramona is out of your league. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding.
Wallace storms in. From my dream. SCOTT So. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup.. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. 23 WALLACE You guess right. WALLACE Library. SCOTT I think she’s. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. and hey! There she is...INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah. WALLACE Girl.. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon.. I don't know what it is about that girl.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. F T (CONTINUED) A . SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams.. 20..NIGHT Scott lies on the futon.. Wallace flops onto the futon. WIDE awake.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. WALLACE You think he’s. Okay. that girl. landing next to Scott. WALLACE There he is.
23 WALLACE Mmm.girlfriend. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.high school. friend. cellphone in hand. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone.. B A STACEY Well. who is out cold.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21...fake. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever.. RINGY RING! Scott answers. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace..up. Wallace. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. I should send out a mass text about this. Who told you? STACEY Duh. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.. Bye.. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it.. SCOTT Wait. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something.. Wallace drifts off.. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT What’s that? Break. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.
SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK..S.!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring...THIS IS.... .) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright.hmm..INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool.” Scott walks to the front door. My name is Matthew Patel. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O..ca. 23 SCOTT Wallace... This is..this is. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon.. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you...Amazon.ca.. Scott sits at Wallace's computer. Pilgrim. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE .. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah. WALLACE Scott. Moments pass. SCOTT "Dear Mr. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. 23 SCOTT Maybe. WALLACE It's the weekend. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest.
KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek.DAY A . 26 EXT.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. He plasters on his best fake smile. PIZZA PIZZA . SONIC BOOM . his thoughts elsewhere. out of sync. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. Scott JUMPS to his feet.. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott.. Knives chows down on a slice. still distracted.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy. Uh huh. THE GOODWILL . SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door.. B 25 INT. SCOTT That's sucky. SCOTT Attack hug. Scott doesn't eat. That’s cute. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring.. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. 23 DINGY DONG.
26 KNIVES CHAU . SCOTT I tell ya'..INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A.but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek. B A F T A ..
B. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show. NegaNinja.. 3.9. SCOTT Um. Knives BURSTS into frame. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up. And even better? It’s the T. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 24.I think. The Rockit.. SCOTT I can never get past that guy... KNIVES CHAU (O. Scott takes a deep breath. Scott tunes his bass. alone by the window. A NEGANINJA .) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off... his timing off. THE ARCADE .. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott. 28 INT. staring out.B.squares up against Scott’s avatar..EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb.I. Game.1.2.8. 27 INT... KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives. (CONTINUED) . I think...DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE ... KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on... Scott plays halfheartedly.S. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. On. but he messes up. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.10.. everybody. Scott winces. This is never easy.. side by side.
who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come.) Crash and the Boys. SCOTT Sure.S. Knives can barely contain herself. It’ll be the cool kids too. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. man. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story... Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.) Oh my gosh.S. She grabs Scott. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . F Oh. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. Great. This guy at work was like "Steve. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. KNIVES CHAU (O.
S. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O. they suck. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A.S. .) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.) Yeah.) Oh my gosh.S. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.
. I dreamt you were delivering me this package.. um.a long.. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. DINGY DONG. skating past Scott and down the hall. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. I was thinking about asking you out. but then I realized how stupid that would be. 29 INT. it's just like. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . He stares at himself in the mirror. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE.INTEGRATED FINAL 26. 30 INT.MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right.. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand..the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT.. Scott runs after her. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up. that's okay. A (CONTINUED) . no.. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it.? 30 . entering... BATHROOM . SCOTT RAMONA No. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. and you were in my dream.. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. Scott exits the bathroom. RAMONA Um. around a corner.. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi. down a row of LOCKERS leading to.. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL .
am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. (CONTINUED) F T A . She gives him a pen. I mean. Not even... RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. RAMONA You know. That was some total ass. RAMONA Yeah.you need to sign for this. SCOTT So.. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. SCOTT But if I sign for it. SCOTT Okay well. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block.. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. Scott stands in awe of Ramona.. You’d be impressed. you'll leave. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. RAMONA You still have to sign. Noooooo. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day.. That's how it works. I was the other guy. you're like American? RAMONA Why. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. right? I've lived here forever.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27.
. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line..my dream girl.you know. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. yeah. So. I'm totally waiting on you. RAMONA I need to find a new route. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me.. 31 SCOTT You are like. RAMONA Well.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um.. . You assumed wrong.. And throws the package straight in the trash.. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. Oh. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. SCOTT Sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom.if that's cool. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. PARK .
34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence.. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do.. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess. RAMONA This is good.a friend. RAMONA He’s.. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs. F SCOTT Is Gideon. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me.. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. They sit on some swings in the park..is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT This is good.
INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. SCOTT Well. RAMONA Uh. It’s weird. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. RAMONA Yeah. B A Um. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. Chilled as in cold. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy.. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. it’s certainly chilled here.. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. .
I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. RAMONA Anyway. . Ramona hops off her swing. yeah. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me... SCOTT I feel so stupid. you’re probably not that stupid.. RAMONA Well. Wallace is pretty gay... I can barely see you..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. RAMONA This is ridiculous. mostly stupid. no. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. Ramona walks away. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still.. SCOTT So this is a 'date'.. I believe you... You're too desperate to be gay. 34 SCOTT It’s.. night’s not over yet.. RAMONA Dude. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. relax. Laughing. A Tongue. The snowfall gets heavier. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. SCOTT Yeah.
. SCOTT A door? I. I can’t see you.. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. I’m blind.. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Help me.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A. I..
F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime.. raspberry. does this help? SCOTT (O.S.. white truffle.) That's. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt. 35 INT. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing..cold! RAMONA (O.) Here. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. Ramona opens the door.very warm. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket. ginger without honey. Scott ventures upstairs. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry.) AAAH! Sorry. After a moment alone. He wanders towards a half open door.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . I'm just. green tea with lemon. Pushing it open. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. ginseng.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. blueberry chamomile. SCOTT (O.. green tea. T A (CONTINUED) . vanilla walnut. green tea with lemon and honey. What is that? B Ramona exits. constant comment and earl grey.S. liver disaster.. girl friendly apartment. He watches as she slips out of her coat.S. sleepytime. vanilla almond. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK.. ginger with honey.
... The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off. You can sleep in my bed.. Pilgrim.not have tea. Ramona breaks off... 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him.what about our tea? SCOTT I can.kay.. smiling.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess.. Not right now. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh. RAMONA I changed my mind.. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott.. RAMONA Well. They look into each others eyes. They tumble onto the bed and make out...INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33.. A (CONTINUED) ... SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. A Ohh. F T SCOTT Maybe. revealing black panties to complement black bra. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you. Scott is in heaven.maybe we should both get under it.. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline.camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session.. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything. Scott takes his shirt off.kay.since we're so cold.
.. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. Please come... I didn't even get any. B A 37 EXT. SCOTT Hey. Ramona skates towards the front gate. Scott relaxes. just this.oh. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. thanks.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel.. It's been like a really long time. Scott walking next to her. 35 SCOTT This is cool. Whatever this is. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. RAMONA You're welcome. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. .MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. They exchange a smile. So.I think I needed this. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him.. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. we're terrible. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah.that was a joke. RAMONA I have to work. and this is. RAMONA'S ROOM . Ramona is gone.
37 RAMONA Sure. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A.
SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. I’m Stacey. She hands him a note. THE ROCKIT . Scott Pilgrim. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. .NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. his room-mate.At The- “THE ROCKIT. hey! It’s tonight. B A F T 38 INT. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. reaching Scott at the bar.. STACEY And this is Wallace. I did totally come. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. Scott is so amazed at her presence. right back next to Scott..INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. his social skills vanish. far away. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. Scott looks back up. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy.. SCOTT Oh. RAMONA Hey.. STACEY Excuse my brother. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. WALLACE Hey. girl number. 212 664-7665. Ramona is already skating far. He’s chronically enfeebled.
People love us. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters.. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. Is this a nightmare? Wake up.. wake up. Scott scurries off.. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. He pushes her away.uh. For sound check. PROMOTER (O. Scott’sScott goes white. Go. SCOTT I. Stacey stares at Scott. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. 39 INT. STILLS We were just on stage. The sound guy hated us. He didn’t even see Knives come in. BACKSTAGE . We hear feedback from a mic onstage. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. wake up. Wallace stares at Jimmy. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. To.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . THE ROCKIT. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. Knives looks kinda sexy.. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. wearing makeup and new clothes. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have.
Jimmy. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. STAGE . 8 year old girl drummer.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. BACKSTAGE . gives Wallace the finger. Wallace yells from the balcony.haven't started playing yet. STAGE . WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE." And it goes a little something like this. . Please Die. and these are the Boys. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. WALLACE That was a test. 40 INT. WALLACE Jimmy. THE ROCKIT. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony..." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. TOO? CRASH Yes. THE ROCKIT.04 seconds. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. You passed. A41 INT. I am Crash. TRASHA.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. I am so very very sad. THE ROCKIT.INTEGRATED FINAL 37.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . Kim glowers. and it's called "We Hate You. CRASH Thank you.
B A F T A . B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A.
.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. THE ROCKIT.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win.. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. 41 INT. BACKSTAGE . A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience". we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes. These guys are good. BACKSTAGE . The audience are stunned. THE ROCKIT. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. THE ROCKIT. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. THE ROCKIT. Stacey turns to Ramona.CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good.. STACEY So Knives. BALCONY . . YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. STAGE . He has so many friends..um. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. He's a friend. 43 INT. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever.
. THE ROCKIT. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out.you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. KNIVES CHAU Well.. Scott nods vigorously.yeah.. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole.INTEGRATED FINAL 39. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT.. ANGLE on Knives. THE ROCKIT. TWO... BACKSTAGE . staring at the stage. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. ONE.. sees Stacey talking to Knives.. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic..you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. She faints in the excitement.CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. So give it up for Sex. 45 INT.. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE. STAGE . I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. F (CONTINUED) .CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. BALCONY .CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott. THE ROCKIT.
He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle.. Pilgrim. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. They land in THE PIT. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. It is I. B A Patel RUNS at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters.. Matthew Patel. Pilgrim.. Patel LANDS like a cat. SCOTT Thank you. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. Alright. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. Consider our fight. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! ..begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott blocks. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. Scott blocks.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Patel punches. then holds his hand up for a time-out.
Scott jump-spins away from danger. Scott looks up to Ramona. in the seventh grade. breathing heavy. then lands more punches. all the little jocks wanted me. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. landing kicks and punches. We were one hell of a team.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. They exchange furious blows. They pause. Matthew was the only non-white. non-jock boy in school. . After a week and a half. Patel evades. Scott evades and counter-attacks. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. We only kissed once. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. I told him to hit the showers. probably in the entire state. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold.
47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A.
MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. T A (CONTINUED) . The house drum kit is trashed behind him. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. wait. narrowly dodging the attack. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. Scott dodges.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick.. POOF. Scott hits the ground. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. Scott rolls across the stage. Maybe you’ll see. 47 SCOTT Dude. Patel levitates into the air.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. dodging a third wave of fireballs. It hits Patel square in the eyes. He flips back onto the stage. you’re not the brightest. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings.. SCOTT Open your eyes. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air.
48 INT. He explodes into COINS.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. Scott lands and picks them up. SCOTT Sweet.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A.O! Scott punches Patel. They clatter to the stage floor. Coins. THE ROCKIT. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 47 K. Passes Stacey. BALCONY .
. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. The Promotor ambles back onstage. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. Ramona takes a breath. BALCONY .. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date..INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43. clapping wildly from the balcony.. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott.40? That's not even enough for the bus home. THE ROCKIT. THE BUS .CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives.CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . THE ROCKIT..but he is long gone. 50 INT. 48 RAMONA Well. it was great meeting you.so like. PROMOTER Yeah.. Sex Bob-Omb wins. Tell your gay friends I said bye. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. who is being resuscitated by Tamara. STAGE . I guess.. $2. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out.. Ramona yanks Scott away. SCOTT Aw man. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them..
And someone has a second date tonight..MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. yes. Scott kisses Ramona. The studio audience 'awwww's. Scott bursts through the front door. someone got to second base last night. Do you want to make out? Uh... SCOTT So. The studio audience applauds. SCOTT Cool. . I guess. I mean me. what you're saying is. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. a spring in his step. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott..INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’.. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat.. SCOTT Well.maybe first and a half. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. 52 53 OMITTED INT. right? I got to second base last night. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date.
hey. F SCOTT But you. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook... At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. T A ... Scott. Today. WALLACE Okay.You have to break up with Knives.it's HARD.. If you have a problem with it. SCOTT But...you're. so you can't be here tonight. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. I swear to God. Scott. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine.. (CONTINUED) B A Morning.but. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. WALLACE If you don't do it. SCOTT You’re a monster. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. I don't want you gaying up the place. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh...
(MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.
bucko. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? .okay.. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. 46.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now.is me pulling the trigger.. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. hey. SCOTT Oh. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O..) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. 54 EXT. B A Ummm. Uh. Hi.S..DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. Wallace turns the television way up. The next click is me hanging up. I am stalking him later. like. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. The one after that. Knives.. KNIVES CHAU (O. SCOTT So. do you want to.S.. SCOTT You suck. Um. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. Surprising no one.
hey.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store.. pounding inside Scott's head. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder. KNIVES CHAU Oh. it's okay. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah. I'm in.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. SONIC BOOM ..INTEGRATED FINAL 47.. KNIVES CHAU No. to meet my parents. Well.and. just so bad. T (CONTINUED) A ..... SCOTT And. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah.. SCOTT Like.. B A SCOTT Uh. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town. Like. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. It’s not my favorite. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom. 55 INT. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. It's my birthday dinner.I think that's a really bad idea.. really. Chinese food? Yeah. I wanted to invite you over for dinner.
listen. Scott brushes it away. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. the word actually appears onscreen.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A.I was thinking we should break up or whatever.. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop. 55 Knives is so smitten. SCOTT Um.
. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . 56 INT.it's not going to work out. a little happier.. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT .. YOUNG NEIL You. SCOTT Aw. SCOTT Aw. thanks. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. in shock. Oh. leaving Knives in the aisle. 56 57 INT/EXT. thanks..EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles.you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . No. Kim and Stills share a look. you are the salt of the earth. KIM PINE Scott. thinking about Knives. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48.. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. 57 SCOTT Oh... her funky pink hair. We broke up. I meant scum of the earth.. thinks of something happier..DAY Scott sits on the bus alone.. KIM PINE Wait.um.
RAMONA Hey everyone. This is sudden death now. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. Kim mimes shooting herself. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. SCOTT It’s all blue. now sporting BLUE HAIR. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me...you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . I just dyed it.. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. this is Stephen Stills. but don’t worry. RAMONA Yes. B A Scott ushers her in. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. Kim. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back.. Like you said.. whether they’re old. Young Neil. 57 SCOTT Yeah. We were lucky to survive that last round.. new or new-new. RAMONA Yeah. weirded out by this hair development. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. that’s.
57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A.
SCOTT She changed her hair.. Get used to it. Cool. reading a magazine. See you guys tomorrow. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half.. STEPHEN STILLS Uh.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. KIM PINE Believe it or not. Scott drops the act. Scott fake laughs. He’s an idiot. I actually dated Scott in high school. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. good. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Good. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. SCOTT Okay. Ramona goes to the bathroom.uh. dude. preparing food as Wallace looks on. 58 Ramona lounges. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. Starts ushering Ramona out again.. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. YOUNG NEIL . KIM PINE Yeah. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil..
INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue.
Ramona returns. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. “when”. Wallace pulls on a jacket. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. if you strike out in the next hour. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. Good. See you in sixty. Fickle. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. with a panicked whisper. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. come find me at the Castle. Oh my god. Impulsive. picnic style. A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. good. 58 SCOTT I know. SCOTT Don’t go. Scott stops Wallace at the door. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. She’s spontaneous.
Ramona is taken aback.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. Ra-ra-ra. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. RAMONA You'd get fat. it goes like this: Ra-mona. Ra-mona. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. Mona. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. SCOTT No. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Ooooh. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. Mona. Ra-ra-ra. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. Ra-mona. I could honestly eat it for every meal. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. Ra-mona. Or just all the time without even stopping. A (CONTINUED) .
NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. It was brutal.. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. Earl Jones deep. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. sorry. she told me it was mutual. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean..she stopped liking me. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. But it’s so long ago. NARRATOR It wasn’t. I can barely remember it. Then. It’s just that I got.. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. RAMONA Your hair is cute.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. three hours before his big breakup.... No... NARRATOR She dumped him. But she stopped liking that name. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. 58 SCOTT Ha. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears. SCOTT Not really. It was.. T A . I like it long. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps.
I just love me some walking...I don't know.. ENDLESS STAIRWAY . They’re shooting this movie up here. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. bright movie set lights.. unless you do. a castle surrounded by big. Not that I do drugs. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. in which case I do drugs all the time. I don’t know. 59 EXT. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. who? SCOTT I forget. every drug. Things seem a little brighter around you or something. long handrail between them. Putting one leg in front of the other. as if crossing a magical line. RAMONA Oh.. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. . Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54.. Let’s find out. F SCOTT Yeah. T A SCOTT Nooo. I just.you make me feel. but. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle.heightened.
INTEGRATED FINAL 55. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. 60 EXT. I am not a slut. FIRST A. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. The spectators go “oooh”. B A What? Why? Slut. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. including Wallace. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. We gotta go. T (CONTINUED) A . RAMONA Ooh. man. CASA LOMA . Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace.D. Mr. RAMONA Oh. doing kickflips. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. He skates towards the set.
RAMONA He just followed me around.my. who remains oblivious. We had drama.you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade. it might have been math. SCOTT ... LUCAS LEE Action.. Actually. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode.God. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott... SCOTT Oh. I just remember there being lots of drama.. who gasps. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott.. .INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass.. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. He was a little snot nosed brat. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal.
then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. He nods to Ramona. WALLACE Scott. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. wobbly. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. flooring him. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Fight. How’s life? He seems nice. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. . Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. crumbling it. Evil ex.
bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. Scott stands to fight the double. Suddenly. He slides across the wet-down ground. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. SCOTT Hey. SCOTT (O. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground.) Mr. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing...S. punchy. all identically dressed. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble.S. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. LUCAS LEE He’s good. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. Tae Kwon Doe style. Scott staggers to his feet. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57.) Looks like you’re seeing double. A . Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. hey. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. Lucas Lee wanders off. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs.. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. smirking on the sidelines. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie..
Lucas offers a hand. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. Lucas stomps over to him. shocked to see Scott. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. bro. preparing for the deathblow...INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. Scott goes to shake it. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen.. . LUCAS LEE Prepare. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. well then don't worry about it. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP.. Let’s get a beer. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . 60 Lucas turns. framed through the torn skyline. SCOTT You’re needed back on set. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth... Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop.no.
. SCOTT So you can sell them. F T A (CONTINUED) . LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. very impressed at Lucas. revealing a skate company tattoo. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard.. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage... LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. a perfect ollie onto the rail. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. Big fan.. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. SCOTT Hey. I have my own skate company.. WALLACE Hi. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.. Lucas pulls down his shirt. HSSSSSSSSS. bro. SCOTT Wow. ese. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59.. if it’s too hardcore. impressed at Lucas.
INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. HSSSSSSSSS. WALLACE Wow.. Scott smacks his forehead.. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. 60 SCOTT Wow. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph. he totally bailed. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Cut back to Scott & Wallace.
you said that last night. It was right under your nose. Scott again. please record your message after the beep. RAMONA is not available. 60 FIRST A. she totally bailed. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. Call me back. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS.that’s a wrap everybody. T SCOTT Hey. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). 61 INT. phone pressed to his ear.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's.. A Scott slumps on the couch. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. Scott Pilgrim. It’s me. Uh. 212 664-7665.D.. .INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60.
I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. RINGY RING. Look. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow.) Hey Scott. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. it’s “love”. I need you to move out. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. you have to fight for it. Break out the L-word. WALLACE If you want something bad. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. guy. A SEXY. Scott slides to the floor. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. VOICE (O. You have the spirit of a warrior. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. Step up your game. Either way. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone.. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls.S. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. Scott. then you have to let her know. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? .. Scott picks up. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. completely shocked at this bombshell.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. She spins to face Scott. Hits SOMETHING. T SCOTT Listen. but I just cashed my last raincheck.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. I’ve had it today. darlin’. . Prepare to die. SCOTT Wait. SHWAA . obviously. He’s pissed now.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. technically this is not a nightmare. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. SCOTT Okay.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. 62 SHFFF . can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from.
It’s everyone else that’s crazy. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken.the Mystery Attacker vanishes. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. Scott looks to the sky. really not up for this.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. Scott is in his usual payphone. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. then I’ll see you later.S. baffled.S. I’m really. Whatever it is. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. SCOTT Oh man. Someone help me. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. But you won’t see me. STACEY (O. It’s actually me. SCOTT Well. STACEY (O. dialing Stacey frantically.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . it’s Scott. SCOTT It’s Scott. BLOOR STREET .
Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. I’m coming in. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". (CONTINUED) . And by the way.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. Scott turns back to Julie. Are you still working? 65. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter.) I’m literally about to leave. SCOTT Cool. mouthing that she has to go. not happy.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. 63 STACEY (O.S. Stacey has her back turned. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. Stacey turns around. THE SECOND CUP . Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'.
"ENVY ADAMS.. RAMONA Yeah. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. No. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing.. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. 23. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. I know it's early days. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop... RAMONA SCOTT I mean. No biggie. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. I do that. You kind of disappeared. SCOTT Yeah." The icy. A . SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. SCOTT No. She looks at the floor. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. They share an awkward moment. I want to hang. Listen.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. (CONTINUED) A Exes. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA.
SCOTT Yeah. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. I know. so totally come. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. . RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. ENVY Great. RAMONA I’m gonna. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. I’m jealous..INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. You guys should like.. You’re so on the list. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. ENVY Okay. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. Ramona goes to order coffee. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT.excuse me. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex.
How. F T RAMONA So. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend.. that was Envy. That. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. Ramona returns. sipping their coffees. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. 65 SCOTT No.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side... you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. Having the past come back to haunt you. SCOTT I can see how it sucks..that was Nat? . That didn’t end well either.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. This guy Todd. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. 65 EXT. RAMONA And two weeks later. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. About.
INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. Tricky. SCOTT Double negative.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. Music swells. Ramona stops and kisses him.. Mm.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. Move on. 66 Scott stands (no pants). B A Word. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. From this moment on. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott and Young Neil. Ramona lounges on the couch. 66 INT. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott.. SCOTT Right.
The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. STEPHEN STILLS No. And Envy asked us to open for them. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. SCOTT Yeah.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. pressed against the window. We need stalkers. for the band? For the band. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. . we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone.. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. 67 SCOTT I hate you. We need groundswell. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. Is a gig.EVENING B A Yeah. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. DRUG SMART . We need to get some buzz going. You know. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face..
KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl. eyes narrowing.I look so. This is all her fault. 68A INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 71.so good... (CONTINUED) . KNIVES’ BATHROOM . so he tried to find someone cool but old. looking sexy.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara.. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. Knives throws a long scarf on. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot.. this really burns. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. KNIVES’ BEDROOM .EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair.
Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. drunk. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly.Sold out’. LEE’S PALACE . Tamara pops into frame. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. Now. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. as she plots. Ramona excuses herself. But I know how to get him back. Bar. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you.CONTINUOUS A 70 . OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. We were Sex Bob-Omb. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . She knows we suck. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. LEE’S PALACE .INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. F T 70 INT. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. 71 71 INT. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. PUSH into Knives. LEE'S PALACE .NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue.
Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. Knives follows. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. 72 INT. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. SCOTT Briefly. looking hot. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. clothes and makeup. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. LEE'S PALACE. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. 17.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. RAMONA Hey. "KNIVES CHAU. F T .. confused. standing next to Ramona. LADIES BATHROOM . Scott breaks into a cold sweat. Briefly.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. LEE'S PALACE .. Or is it.
INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. striking ROCK GOD figure. MENS BATHROOM . EVIL-EX #3. LEE’S PALACE . no longer shrouded in dry ice. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. Pee time. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. 75 INT. LEE’S PALACE. I gotta pee. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. You know? Oh yeah. he cuts a handsome. Oh yeah. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. Stares at Scott.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group.. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no.. "TODD INGRAM. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd...MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT.. revealing a stunning figure. A I know. (turns beet red) I mean.” and “Who. Envy lets her coat slip off. Knives screams her teen brains out. ENVY in a long black coat. (sing songy) Peee time. SPOOKY MUSIC begins.. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. (CONTINUED) . 25. He’s alone.
LEE'S PALACE . Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors.LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb. 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. you have to see them live. LEE’S PALACE. Everyone else feels. They’re so much better live. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. Envy. Envy burns a hole through Scott. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room.“AWKWARD”. RAMONA Hey Todd. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. YOUNG NEIL Man.. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . RAMONA Mmm hmm.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. TODD INGRAM Been a while. Just oh my God. Oh.
JULIE Ramona lived in New York. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. Envy. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. it’s not something I can really put into words. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. ENVY I was just there.Envy? I read your blog. in general? T A . you know? You suit each other.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. ENVY So... Did you get those jeans in New York. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. KNIVES CHAU Um. You know him. I like your outfit Ramona. cute couple. Stephen. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. Todd and Julie glare at Knives... ENVY Just saying. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy.
POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. She is about to answer when.Knives stands up.. 77 Scott looks at Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A.
. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. grasping his neck. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. Her hair is black and plain as before. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. B A F T A (CONTINUED) .your hair.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. SCOTT KK. Her. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. TODD INGRAM That’s right. Hair.. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd.. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet.. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. 77 Envy nods at Todd.yy. JULIE So.. Todd smirks. Scott boils. ENVY You’re incorrigible. Of. Scott hovers. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid.. choking. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage.. I’m a rock star.my neck.. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. Young Neil escorts Knives out. Todd sits back down like nothing happened. Out.
. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. While the others bicker. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. I always wondered. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man.... A (CONTINUED) . TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. TODD INGRAM Bingo. He tries to keep cool.anyone can be.vegan. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. question. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. despite being in a lot of pain. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. Scott sails out of shot and into space. SCOTT If I peed my pants. if you knew the science. He moans in pain. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. Ramona helps Scott to his feet. SCOTT No kidding.
77 RAMONA It’s not raining.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
I was really hoping to put it all behind me. It’s part of the reason I moved here. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. 77 SCOTT Oh. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. RAMONA (V.O. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. A (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. RAMONA (V.) We hated everyone. It’s pretty crazy. Nobody cares. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. A brief. We wrecked stuff. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs.. RAMONA Look.O. RAMONA (V. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd. Nobody cared.) A week and a half later. RAMONA (V. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy.. but I used to be kind of. I guess that’s not very nice.O. It was pretty crazy. so I dumped him.like that.O.
so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. Stills calls through the hole. She dusts. Right? ENVY Basically. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona . SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds.Monday.cleans up. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you.dust. Scott CHARGES at Todd.nice! F Um. We hear a distant CRUMP... And the cleaning lady.. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. I and he! Scott stands up . call us when you’re done. T SCOTT A SCOTT I.... STEPHEN STILLS Uh. so.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business.. SCOTT You used to be so.dislike you. SCOTT He and me..sort of ready for another round.. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.ready for another round. TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday... Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . B A SCOTT Sorry..
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 77 ENVY Oh. he’ll be done real soon.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A.
holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. 78 INT. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. Todd floats toward him. The good one. Crummy way to end things. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. 79 (CONTINUED) . savoring the kill. baby. shredding him into oblivion. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. amp pegged to 10. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. floating towards Scott with his bass. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. cringing. I actually know how to play bass. You’re through. Suddenly. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. Your bass hand is badly injured. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. Todd LEVITATES. Todd calls to a roadie. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. LEE’S PALACE. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. LEE'S PALACE . Scott turns around on his knees.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. ENVY Sorry.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. fauxhawk rising. I know. wicked. Pilgrim. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. He hovers next to him. Envy grins at Ramona. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. picking the hell out of his bass.
INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. but that's pathetic. 79 ENVY I’m sorry. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. Todd floats to the ground. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet.. You know.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82.m. SCOTT Actually. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. A .m. 7:30 p. no vegan powers. on February 1st. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. takes one of the cups and drinks. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. I poured soy in this cup. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book. in my mind's eye or whatever. Thanks. tool. you knowingly ingested Gelato. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. bitch. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. I'll take the one with soy. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a.
The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. shooting Envy a look on the way out. sorry I guess. 79 Envy gasps. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. SCOTT Maybe they should... F SCOTT Uh. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. Julie pops into shot. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. (CONTINUED) . So I guess we’re even. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. Envy stares. Natalie. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. I know.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. Now let’s get out of here. disgusted. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. jaw ajar. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. Envy blinks. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. in shock. Ramona follows. RAMONA Crummy way to end things.
Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. It’s an odd mood. 79 JULIE For the record. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. And hot.oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. on the fringes. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. Julie. Stills coughs. WALLACE Envy Adams. A (CONTINUED) . 80 INT. Ramona and Scott. KIM PINE Then why would we. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. That Todd guy was cool too. I liked him.. ENVY Shut the fuck up. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. I am so pissed off for you right now. PIZZA PIZZA . RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay..
AFTER PARTY . Yet. WALLACE I mean. we can totally go. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . B 81 EXT. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. Oh. not with fists.. He shrugs. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. lagging behind.. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. So let’s go. so. Ooh. Hey.NIGHT A Oh. Scott limps a bit. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. Ramona falls back with him.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. Scott takes another bite.
? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . It’s justRAMONA It’s just... I’m fine. I’m fine. 81 SCOTT No.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
B A ROXY Well honey. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. The girls square off. clearing the busy dance floor. If Gideon can’t have you.. SCOTT What. ROXY Back off hasbian.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. Roxy flips out of the hold..” RAMONA It was just a phase. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. no one can. The League hath spoken. 82 ROXY Oh boy. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you.. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious. F T A (CONTINUED) . does she know me.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. 23. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here..she..is..
you slag. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. Ramona. He’s a creep. ROXY Give it a rest. The belt wraps around it. this is live? Uh huh. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. This is a League game. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. With blinding speed. It smashes a speaker. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. RAMONA Believe it. F WALLACE Oh yeah. She BLOCKS with the hammer. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. Mirrored shards fly everywhere.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. leaving a dent in it. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. Or possibly feet. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.
.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends.never. Some sooner than others. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. ROXY Fight your own battles.. He lands HARD on the floor. She grins at Ramona. kicking them apart with the splits.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. Roxy falls. . Roxy lifts her leg over her head. She staggers.be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS.. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. RAMONA Whenever we were making out. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey.. still in the splits. They’re soft. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. (CONTINUED) B A Okay.. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy.. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. winces.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 The party starts up again. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott. a wave of gossip spreading around the room.
T A (CONTINUED) . Ramona follows tentatively. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh... (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. Scott has already downed his second drink. RAMONA I really think we should split. She touches her hair. SCOTT Only on special occasions. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. Ramona tries to lighten things. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. The gossip echoes around them. Looks hurt. RAMONA Sooooo. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink.
82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A.
RICHTER. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. INGRAM. Ramona leaves.. It reads“PATEL. RAMONA Dirty laundry.NIGHT B A But then . I don’t enjoy all this Scott. Ramona exits proper.” 83 INT. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. I thought you might be more understanding. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. In fact I’m sick of it. KATAYANAGI TWINS. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. Here’s your stupid list. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . LEE. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. Scott looks at the list. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. RAMONA (CONT’D) P. A (CONTINUED) . GIDEON.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93.S. You’re drunk. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public.. You. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST.Ramona returns.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 85 KIM PINE Oh. She’s totally here.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A.
leaving a huge hole in the roof. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. 23.) They brought the house down. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look.. SNOW falls onto the stage. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. The crowd cheers. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. KYLE KATAYANAGI. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. Scott turns bleak again.. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. 23. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. Now an open air venue. Can we do this? I mean.. She is totally there..INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. (CONTINUED) . is very serious and Japanese. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. She looks happy.. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care.. we can do this. They are chatting. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care.. Scott. is serious and very Japanese. KEN KATAYANAGI.S. Scott and Stills get into battle position. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN..
Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. This is GIDEON GRAVES. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. For once. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. SCOTT Alright. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. then helps Kim up.. We’re done. Scott. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. they sound awesome. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. 37.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. ASSHOLE.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon.. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. They share a nod. comes in heavy on the kick drum. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. T A (CONTINUED) . fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. SCOTT Gideon. He struggles to his feet. Kyle looks at Ken.
The crowd goes bazooky.. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. SCOTT Ramona. hovering next to Scott. SCOTT Ramona.... F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue.was epic. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. different. Knives watches him go. 86 EXT. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. but she and Gideon are gone. What are you doing? . I’m not even stalking you.. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. THE NINTH CIRCLE .. SCOTT You seem. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. Scott follows. He can’t find Ramona. I have something I need to tell you. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. SCOTT Getting a life. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. eyes narrowing. different. RAMONA Yeah. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.
And I want you to know. Listen. I don’t care about any of that stuff.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. really mean it. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. . 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really.
) That’s the bad news. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all.. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. Oh okay.. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. Scottie. VOICE (O. T RAMONA It’s Gideon. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up.. 86 RAMONA Oh. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs..S..INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.I can’t help myself around him. Scott glowers. The Lincoln parks.it's not going to work out. A (CONTINUED) . I just. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. GIDEON GRAVES You know. B A Bob-omb.. Stills is ga-ga. Okay. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes. A driver opens the passenger door. Ramona looks at the floor. captioned “PEE”.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A.
I mean. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. Scott stands alone. A cough. SCOTT Nuh-uh. you would have never been with Ramona. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. Scott. Kim shrugs and signs it too. GIDEON And hey. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. There are hand shakes all round. A meek Young Neil slides into view. GIDEON Oh and Scott. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. we should really be thanking each other. A . Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. before trying to hand it back to Scott. can I just say. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. So I guess it all shakes out. buddy. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. bass in hand. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. if it wasn’t for me. but if it wasn’t for you. keep your emotions in check. she wouldn’t be back with me. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together.
Scott tries desperately to think positive..INTEGRATED FINAL 100A. 87 INT. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car....NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone. thinking about Ramona... A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN ...
) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .NIGHT Scott enters. little brother. F T A STACEY (O. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. THE PARK .) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends. Over PITCH BLACK. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. staring straight ahead. Flicks the light on.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. SCOTT Seven. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. gives Scott a hug. Well that’s not so bad.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. 88 B A STACEY Oh. Night turns to day. STACEY Time heals all wounds.. Stacey heads off.. Gets a shock. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like.S. Day turns to night. 88 INT. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean... Scott remains in the exact same position.S. Scott looks at the camera. “THONK”. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole.
But I need my own bed tonight. SCOTT (O. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. SCOTT And the year. For sex. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott.S. it’s probably just because he’s better than you. A Right. WALLACE Ah. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. wrapped in a blanket. 88 WALLACE (O.S. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too.S. WALLACE (O. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). T . VOICE (O. Scott sits in the chair.) It’s Chris.S.) Sorry. you know I love you. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. Right. 89 INT. But you know.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. and I apologize for that.) Or someone.) It’s Chris. I get it. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102. Wallace hands Scott cocoa.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. That sucks.
Scott nods.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair. 89 Scott nods.
pal. I think this fight is over. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. Scott nods. He calls off.S. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. Some guy picks up.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. 91 (CONTINUED) . T A Thanks.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott stares at the phone. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. GIDEON'S LAIR . SCOTT RINGY RING. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch.) Hey. it’s gonna be alright. SCOTT (O. I don’t want any hard feelings. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. INT. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay.) Yeah.S.S.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. 89 WALLACE Either way.
INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. Well as you know. B Password? Scott shrugs. Scott turns. alarmed. Finish him.S. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. What do you say? . HIPSTER KID Cool.S) Sure you did. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. 92 EXT. amigo. leaning against a warehouse wall. SCOTT Mm.S. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. Click. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in.) What a perfect asshole. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless.) I hope so. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. Whatever. STREETS OF TORONTO . HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. Maybe I’ll see you there.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier.
93 INT. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. B A F T A . So far so good. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. Scott steps into the elevator. HIPSTER KID Cool.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. WAREHOUSE .
skinny jeans. YOUNG NEIL on bass.. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. 94 INT. Ramona kneels at his side.S. wearing identical outfits. Don’t give him the satisfaction.. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero.. COMEAU holds court among them. STEPHEN STILLS Well. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you..) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. SCOTT What if I have a beef.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT. looking up at his former bandmates. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. They are legion. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. (CONTINUED) . SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. CHAOS THEATRE . now using SWEET BRAND amps. COMEAU Yeah. Chuck Taylors. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. their first album is so much better than their first album. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. then you’re doomed.the CHAOS THEATRE.
The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. I’m in love with her.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. buddy. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke.O.buddy. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. flexes.. Gideon stands up. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. NARRATOR (V.. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. Gideon smiles.) Scott earned the power of love. A new power comes over Scott. Scott gets into a fighting stance.. (CONTINUED) . GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because. whatever. It’s ancient history. Ramona looks away from Scott. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving. Gideon loses his cool. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song.. League.
Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona.. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. My cane.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. 18 YEARS OLD. Gideon chuckles. SCOTT Your club sucks. Scott hits the ground HARD. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there.. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. (CONTINUED) . by the way. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. we are here to make money.S. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. Gideon raises his sword. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb... Scott looks to Knives. rolling to a stop. exploding each attacker into COINS. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. Then from above. ON BEAT. “KNIVES CHAU. to administer a final blow. Gideon approaches. both concerned and amazed. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. and sell out and stuff.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. KNIVES CHAU (O. She lands awkwardly. He slashes at them to the beat.
sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. T A (CONTINUED) . He was warned plenty of times. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. separating them. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. I didn’t steal anyone.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. KUNG FU STYLE. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. Kung Pao Chicken. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. distracted by his duelling exes. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. throwing blocks and punches.
... 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott..DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus. rubbing his temples..cheat. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me.. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. THE DREAM DESERT . Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground..INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109. neither amused. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind. You can cheat on these ladies all you want.Scott's eyes blink open..maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away. GIDEON (O.S. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY. but... RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat..SAND blows through frame.. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us.. Okay? (beat) I mean. Knives. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white... F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives.. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. With you. but you can’t. 95 EXT.death. .
95 SCOTT Ugh. Ramona appears out of nowhere.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . fainter than before.
SCOTT Well. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. RAMONA Alright.. that’s legitimately disappointing. RAMONA He’s like that. I really will leave you alone forever now.. it was me who was obsessed... That’s why I had to leave. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. He just. self-consciously touching her hair. I was crazy about him. he literally has a way of getting into my head. the truth is. has a way of getting into my head. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head... Scott. SCOTT That is evil. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated.. But he ignored me. and that’s when he started paying attention. Ramona covers the chip. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. I mean. eh? B A SCOTT Well. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. T A (CONTINUED) . maybe now would be the time to get into it.. RAMONA No. Seeing as I’m about to die. Dying probably sucks.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110.
A Ahhhhhh. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott.. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. Scott slumps to his knees. RAMONA Uh-huh. I really fought for you back there. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try.. The winds blow harder..so alone. SCOTT .. I guess.. 96 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart... Ramona is gone. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb.. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. Ramona seeming to fade away. as Scott enters.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. DA-DING. He flicks the light on. SCOTT So. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD. We had a good run. . T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .
I was just about toSCOTT Hey. that’s you. But before I do that. On PITCH BLACK. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. during which I totally seized the sword. GIDEON GRAVES (O.. hands him the phone. Sadly. a call I considered refusing. I need to ask one final favor of you. I don’t want any hard feelings.S. SCOTT Wallace. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp.S. B A Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. allies. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. pal.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. Gideon Graves. guy. I was living in an ordinary world.) Sure thing. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. I died. WALLACE (O..) Scott. Chaos Theatre. when my journey began. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. 96 SCOTT .. So I did. GIDEON GRAVES (O. But my Mentor. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto.) Again? WALLACE (O.S.S.S... There were tests. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure.) F T A (CONTINUED) .. enemies. I feel terrible about everything.
WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . hardcore. 96 SCOTT Sorry. exposing his junk.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. sorry. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah.
The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid.. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. 97 EXT.. 99 INT.. I know what I’m doing. CHAOS THEATRE . SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. You guys sound better without me. knocking them out. SCOTT Don’t worry. COMEAU Yeah.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. the new line-up rocks. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. Kim shrugs. deadpan as ever. you shall be known as “Neil”..AGAIN.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall..everything. 98 INT. From this point forward. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES.. Young Neil? You have learned well. WAREHOUSE . STREETS OF TORONTO . Stephen. 96 SCOTT You seen one.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.
let’s do it. He unsheathes his SWORD. the club sucks. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat..S. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. LEAPING in the air. backs to each other. I have beef. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other. different than before. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . exploding each attacker into COINS.O. T SCOTT No. Ramona at his side. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB.I want to fight you for me. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. My cane. A strange new power overcomes Scott. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. You’re pretentious. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. They land on opposite sides of the platform. Scott goes straight into fight mode. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. 99 Gideon falls down. Dead. apparently. Scott calls out.
. RAMONA Never felt better. taste my steel. I hurt you. Scott GRABS her wrists. stunned. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. Knives pulling KNIVES. So. I cheated on you. They square off. but still grinning. All turn to see GIDEON.S..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. Scott turns to Ramona.you're not a fat ass.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. And I’m sorry. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. Knives. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. SCOTT No. Ramona rubs the back of her head. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . bloodied. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. Scott jumps between them. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. She didn’t mean that. hands held out. She kicks him in the face. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. The CHIP no longer blinks. Knives steps back. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. Ramona staggered. GIDEON GRAVES (O. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. I was a different guy back then.
you got a fight alright. Scott steps into a fighting stance. the three of them ready to rumble. Knives joins him. GIDEON Ramona. 99 SCOTT Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon.
He cuts big arcs at Scott. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE.his glasses glow. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . They barely dodge him. knocking her down. He shakes off the assault and grins. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. Gideon BLOCKS. Gideon spins again and swings upward. Ramona KICKS. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. She looks doubtful. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Gideon spins low. He grins. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. Knives whips off her scarf. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. his HEALTH BAR increases. Knives attacks and scores a hit. Gideon swings at Scott. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. dropping her. Knives and Ramona. Knives throws her knives. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. They fence. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. You’re still my girl. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Gideon jumps after him. Scott ducks.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. baby. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. SCOTT ATTACKS. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. takes a hesitant step towards him. The swords create an “X”. They CLASH in the air. Gideon hits her back. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. disarms Scott with one move. Gideon BLOCKS. . Scott leaps in the air. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. expecting her to move. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move.
He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. I’m what’s happening. You’re zero. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. A pain in my ass. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly.. You’re nothing. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. she kicks him in the back of the head. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. Me? I’m what’s hip. From the floor. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. They Get up and circle Gideon. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. She lands painfully at the bottom. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. I’m blowing up right now.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. (CONTINUED) . Not long now.. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. 99 Scott lands hard. defeated. sending him spinning. Knives and Scott share a look. One lens of his glasses cracks.
silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down.. RAMONA (O. Gideon’s head EXPLODES. makes her way towards them. right? Kim points to the falling coins. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) . Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. You are blowing up.) You two make a good combo. Right now. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. Ramona.. The coin rain continues. 99 SCOTT You’re right. KIM PINE There goes our deal. Scott and Knives kiss. Oh. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. awake now.. And you got another thing right.S.. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. They share a smile.
S. Then. shake hands and part ways.. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. This is something I have to face on my own. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. worried for Scott. nothing.) You can defeat me. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps.. They chat amiably. He’s a super-nice guy.. They look expectantly at the entrance. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. Fringed hair. Scott and Negascott face off.. We actually have a lot in common. Knives and Ramona. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses.. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side... Both take a step forward.. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. SCOTT No.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118.but can you defeat. The glasses GLIMMER. Scott runs his fingers through his hair.. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him.. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. Evil face. THE WAREHOUSE . Dark clothes. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. We just shot the shit. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre.yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses.
INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A. 104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. Where are you going? Ramona. RAMONA I dunno. SCOTT I think I understand. You do? Scott smiles. B A RAMONA It's hard. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . though. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. RAMONA I should tahnk you. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this..INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119.. literally taking his guard down. I should probably disappear. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. F T Scott calls after her. SCOTT Hey. Snow begins to fall. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. Steps tentatively away from Knives. then realizes Ramona has gone. Ramona sees this and smiles. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. hoping to slip away. stops and turns back. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. He turns to see her. you know? I came here to get away. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. but the past keeps catching up.
She takes his hand briefly. F KNIVES You earned it.) Hey.. We hear a COUGH . then lets it drop. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. A (CONTINUED) . Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. Ramona walks on into the night alone. Knives doesn’t look back. Guitar still in hand.. RAMONA Well. Bye and stuff.Nega Scott also sidles into frame. And stuff.) Go get her.S. Before she’s gone. She turns to walk off again. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. then hearsKNIVES (O.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A.. T Surprised..S. Scott watches. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad. but thenSCOTT (O. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. I’m too cool for you anyway. We hear a 2ND COUGH . You’ve been fighting for her all along.
it was a HUGE fight.. Someone seriously should have been filming it. it was apparently awesome.O.O. Literally. winter turning to spring.. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier... Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. standing right in the middle of the street.. Scott takes it.3.7.. CONTINUE? 10. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off.2. T Over this magical transformation.4..1. try again? Ramona smiles.) Oh my God.9. It was unbelievable...8.5.. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door.6. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside... night magically turning to day.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B... Yeah. F JULIE (V.. sunrise coming up over Toronto. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves... I mean bananas.. A We see the door with the star on it. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could..) Oh my God. A STACEY (V.. snow swirling around it.. . Scott and Ramona walk towards the door. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater..
105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 120.
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