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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
. grumbling. Scott winks at Knives. Scott winks at the camera. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. She's Chinese. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. sits next to her mother. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. books scattering everywhere. Knives crouches down to pick up her books.S.) Hey. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. 45.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag.. 2 KIM PINE Well. Scott grins heroically. . THE BUS . Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. 22 YEARS OLD..INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. SCOTT (O. cute and innocent with clothes to match. RATING: AWESOME.. MOTHER CHAU. demanding. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. 17." Stars appear in Knives's eyes.
STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN . 4 INT.DAY Back in the kitchen... KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . everyone looks at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 2A.
He's the talent. really. man. B A Hey. 5 An eager Knives stands outside.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. She geeks. Let it be soon. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. 5 INT/EXT. 4 SCOTT Yes. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. SCOTT Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. Scott smiles broadly. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. SCOTT She’ll geek. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. I want her to geek out on us. She has the capacity to geek. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Please be good. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . It is. Scott opens the door a crack. Knives. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. hey. this is Stephen Stills.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A.
that’s kind of a big question. that’s Kim. who finally gets it. Amps hum to life. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. . Lemme get your coat. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb. KNIVES CHAU Wow.. Knives waves. YOUNG NEIL Oh. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. I just live here. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome.Tetris... sticks in her hands. (CONTINUED) . sorry. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives. that’s Young Neil. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. KNIVES CHAU Hi.. ratty rug.. I’m not in the band.Zelda. wow. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. SCOTT Knives. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. drums.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE ..yes. bass. LAME BRAND amps. 6 INT.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim.DAY Knives enters. guitar. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good..S.
jaw ajar. feedback lingering.. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended.. BUS STOP . F (CONTINUED) . YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome. SCOTT Yeaaah. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM .Sex Bob-Omb. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. Kim.. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott.. 7 EXT. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. Yeaaah.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room..are so. The song ends. what? KIM PINE I mean.... SCOTT B A Yeaaah. Knives watches. KNIVES CHAU I can't even. if your life had a face I would punch it. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5.wait. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus.. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice.. Amazing. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like. 8 INT.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys.amazing. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics.
disloyal. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. "WALLACE WELLS. ha. Kim.. Don’t tell too many people. yes. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. dark hair. ha. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. arched eyebrow. The whole seventeen year old thing. ha. . WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. ROOMMATE. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. she seems awesome. I'm dating a 17 year old. You're totally my bitch forever.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. one room apartment. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. you were saying she seems awesome. SCOTT Yeaaaah.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6.. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. SCOTT So. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. WALLACE Yeah. FUTON included. SCOTT Neil. 24 YEARS OLD. turns to Young Neil.
9 WALLACE Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . you know me.
gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. Duh. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. The phone goes. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. 9 SCOTT I mean. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN." A STACEY (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7.S. you will not be served”. Knives Chau. starts texting. 19. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. cute. WALLACE You know me. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. SCOTT That’s not true.) You know me. peppy barista. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. Scott sinks into an armchair. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. WALLACE (O. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. YOUNGER SISTER.S. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. Don’t tell my sister. Scott picks up.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) .
more like.. the whole deal. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. she's only allowed out when the sun is up. At all. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. Uniformed boys and girls pour out.. We haven’t even held hands. are you legitimately moving on... 9 SCOTT Yeah.simple. Scott. STACEY Um. STACEY Oh my God. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old.it’s just nice. SCOTT This school has boys too. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. you haven’tSCOTT No no no.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad.. you know? It's just. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here... SCOTT Well. STACEY (CONT’D) So. I think she hugged me once. F T A SCOTT I don't know. (CONTINUED) . 10 EXT.. WALLACE I hate you.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. so I wouldn't call it dating. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times.
10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A.
You know. Scott looks at Knives. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION).DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed...S. like... Wallace Wells. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. KNIVES CHAU Oh. Run. Wow. WALLACE You're too good for him. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O.. He’s gay. Whispers. Does he wear glasses? . hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. THE ARCADE . T A WALLACE Yes. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod.8.. side by side. SCOTT Yeah...wow. KNIVES CHAU Oh. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. The game ends.9. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move. 11 INT. SCOTT Hey Knives. this is my cool gay roommate.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. counting down: 10. She digs for quarters. CONTINUE appears.
JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. Hangers click in time. . SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. but you guys ROCK. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. slices in hand. SCOTT Well. 13 INT. Julie. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. THE GOODWILL .INTEGRATED FINAL 10. you guys are gonna be HUGE. Bobby. F T A A13 INT. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. "PIZZA PIZZA" .DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. we're already pretty big. 12 EXT. 22. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. Knives. Thank you. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts.
13 SCOTT Thank you. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. Julie. (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.
INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them.I've never gone out with someone so talented. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. KNIVES CHAU Oh. KNIVES CHAU . SCOTT Me neither. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. 11. F KNIVES CHAU I mean. SNOWY TORONTO STREET . SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . I've.. Scott hugs her.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. 15 EXT. But that’s just me..no. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . so whatever. SCOTT Yeah. you were saying about me? 14 EXT. SCOTT Sorry.. I heart them so much.
. an army jacket. The light snowfall turns into sand. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone.. Wind blows. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure. KNIVES CHAU Oh..so. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ....Scott wanders alone through a barren land.. rubbing his eyes. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.. You're just having some idiotic dream. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands. 17 INT. THE DREAM DESERT . 17 B A SCOTT Oh God. skirt and goggles.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. Wow.. She is hotter than the desert sun. SCOTT Here you go.. okay. But she's gone. She wears fishnets.... Wow.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott. . 16 (CONTINUED) ..SCOTT WAKES UP. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT. sitting up in the FUTON.so alone. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus. SCOTT Oh God. Her pink hair is funky but cool.? .
weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. 22.. OTHER VOICE Oh God. Scott opens the bathroom door. SCOTT But there was this girl. six in the morning. WALLACE Speaking of new. Scott? A scruffy. Wallace rubs his eyes. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. Sunlight ignites the room.. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested. it wasn’t her. Other Scott goes back to sleep.. F T A . SCOTT No. WALLACE What is it. 17 WALLACE What is it. It was somebody new..
DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 18 INT. THE LIBRARY .INTEGRATED FINAL 13A.
(CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. SCOTT It was. STEPHEN STILLS (O.S.. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. I’ll be quieter. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. Time slows to a crawl..my hand slipped.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again.CA to the librarian. head still in the clouds. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION.. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song. Let’s talk about something else. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention.uh... SCOTT Uh.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. He carries a stack of books for Knives. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT.) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school.
T SCOTT Ugh. Both have red plastic cups in hand. KIM PINE We're going to this party. Scott exits frame.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. I thought you guys split. F SCOTT Aw.. 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party.this sucks. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . there may be some label guys there. retard.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15.. But. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . YOUNG NEIL Sucks. 19 SCOTT Sorry. what are we doing? 20 EXT.. JULIE'S HOUSE . Kim Pine. 21 INT. This is going to suck. so. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's. SCOTT .. Scott's head is still in the clouds. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. you know.. man. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street..
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
24. 22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A.
22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. Aged 8” and yet. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. Got a job with Amazon. SCOTT Yeah..Flowers. Scott does not. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. Stephen Stills is with her. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. JULIE She just moved here. Comes into my work. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. . Now.. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. arms crossed. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me.
But I didn't want Scott to know that... 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE . Stephen.yes. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A.
JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. whoa. JULIE Whatever. SCOTT looks to KIM. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. We hear the sound of arctic winds. . STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. me and Kim are all good now. He’s totally dating a high schooler. I don't know what it is about that girl. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. 22 SCOTT Yeah. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. let’s leave it at that. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. Ramona is out of your league. she justJULIE Scott. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding.
WALLACE Girl. SCOTT So. I don't know what it is about that girl. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. 20. 23 WALLACE You guess right. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah... I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup.. that girl.NIGHT Scott lies on the futon.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . WALLACE You think he’s. and hey! There she is. landing next to Scott. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams.. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. WIDE awake.. F T (CONTINUED) A . Wallace flops onto the futon.. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. From my dream. Wallace storms in.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. SCOTT I think she’s.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party... B A SCOTT I saw her at the library. WALLACE There he is. Okay.. WALLACE Library.
.. I should send out a mass text about this.girlfriend. RINGY RING! Scott answers. SCOTT Wait.fake. Wallace... SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.. B A STACEY Well. Bye. friend..up. Wallace drifts off. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.high school. Who told you? STACEY Duh... SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace. who is out cold. SCOTT What’s that? Break.. cellphone in hand. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) . INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something. 23 WALLACE Mmm.
Scott sits at Wallace's computer. 23 SCOTT Wallace. My name is Matthew Patel.... WALLACE Scott.. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon.this is.S. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE ... What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool..THIS IS. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon. .ca. Moments pass.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.. This is..!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring.ca. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days. Pilgrim.) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright.. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK..” Scott walks to the front door. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O.. SCOTT "Dear Mr. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah..hmm....Amazon.
WALLACE It's the weekend.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 23 SCOTT Maybe.
I cannot believe the music they put on while we work.. 26 EXT. Uh huh. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. Scott doesn't eat. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring.DAY A .. out of sync. PIZZA PIZZA . his thoughts elsewhere. SONIC BOOM . still distracted. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. 23 DINGY DONG.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. Knives chows down on a slice. THE GOODWILL . SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. That’s cute. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. B 25 INT.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. SCOTT Attack hug.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. He plasters on his best fake smile.. SCOTT That's sucky. Scott JUMPS to his feet. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket.. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy.
SCOTT I tell ya'.. 26 KNIVES CHAU .INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A.but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek.. B A F T A .
. KNIVES CHAU (O.I think.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION... STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show. And even better? It’s the T..8.S.. NegaNinja. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott. but he messes up. I think.. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. side by side.I. Scott takes a deep breath. This is never easy.10. The Rockit.B.9...... Scott plays halfheartedly.. 3. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives. his timing off.. 28 INT. SCOTT Um.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off. On.INTEGRATED FINAL 24.. staring out. A NEGANINJA ..EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb. Knives BURSTS into frame.. THE ARCADE .. Scott tunes his bass. alone by the window.2. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. 27 INT. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on. Game. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up.1. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh.B.. (CONTINUED) . everybody.squares up against Scott’s avatar. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Scott winces.
SCOTT Sure. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) ..) Oh my gosh. F Oh. Knives can barely contain herself. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt.) Crash and the Boys. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.S.. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa.S. Great. This guy at work was like "Steve. It’ll be the cool kids too. KNIVES CHAU (O. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. She grabs Scott. man. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25.
S. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.S. .S. they suck.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.) Oh my gosh.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.) Yeah.
STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use.the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. DINGY DONG.? 30 . You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. Scott runs after her. 30 INT. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY.MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right. He stares at himself in the mirror.a long.. it's just like. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it.. around a corner. A (CONTINUED) . THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell.. BATHROOM . WALLACE'S APARTMENT . down a row of LOCKERS leading to. entering..INTEGRATED FINAL 26. and you were in my dream. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. no. 29 INT.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. RAMONA Um. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. um. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. I was thinking about asking you out. SCOTT RAMONA No.. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL ... Scott exits the bathroom. I dreamt you were delivering me this package.. but then I realized how stupid that would be. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi... that's okay. skating past Scott and down the hall...
you need to sign for this.. right? I've lived here forever. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day.. I was the other guy.. you're like American? RAMONA Why. SCOTT But if I sign for it. RAMONA Yeah. That's how it works. She gives him a pen. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. SCOTT Okay well. That was some total ass. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. RAMONA You know.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place.. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block.. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. SCOTT So. Noooooo. you'll leave. You’d be impressed. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. Not even. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. I mean. (CONTINUED) F T A .. RAMONA You still have to sign.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah.
if that's cool. will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. I'm totally waiting on you. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um. RAMONA I need to find a new route. SCOTT Sorry. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28..NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. . PARK . Oh. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line.. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. RAMONA Well. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them...you know. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom. You assumed wrong. And throws the package straight in the trash. So.my dream girl.. 31 SCOTT You are like. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. yeah..
RAMONA This is good.. RAMONA He’s. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs.. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. They sit on some swings in the park.. F SCOTT Is Gideon.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence.. SCOTT This is good. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park.is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess.. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs.a friend..
It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. SCOTT Well. RAMONA Uh. it’s certainly chilled here. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. . RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. B A Um. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. It’s weird. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed... Chilled as in cold. RAMONA Yeah.
. you’re probably not that stupid. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. Ramona walks away. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. RAMONA This is ridiculous. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. night’s not over yet. I can barely see you.. . you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me.. SCOTT So this is a 'date'.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. Laughing. Wallace is pretty gay. no.. A Tongue. relax. yeah. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. SCOTT I feel so stupid.. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm.. The snowfall gets heavier.. RAMONA Dude. You're too desperate to be gay. Ramona hops off her swing. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date. RAMONA Well... SCOTT Yeah. I believe you.. 34 SCOTT It’s. mostly stupid... RAMONA Anyway.
. I can’t see you.. Help me. 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door.. SCOTT A door? I. I’m blind.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A.. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . I.
constant comment and earl grey... Pushing it open..S. What is that? B Ramona exits. vanilla almond. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt. He watches as she slips out of her coat. ginger with honey.) Here. girl friendly apartment.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness.S. After a moment alone. green tea with lemon and honey. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket.) AAAH! Sorry. white truffle. vanilla walnut. I'm just. SCOTT That would actually be awesome. does this help? SCOTT (O. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. SCOTT (O. ginger without honey. T A (CONTINUED) . 35 INT. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness.) That's. sleepytime.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32.. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing.cold! RAMONA (O. raspberry.S.. liver disaster. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. He wanders towards a half open door. ginseng. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime.very warm. green tea. Ramona opens the door.. green tea with lemon. Scott ventures upstairs. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry. blueberry chamomile. RAMONA'S APARTMENT .
And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.. smiling.. A Ohh.maybe we should both get under it.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess. Not right now. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline.what about our tea? SCOTT I can. You can sleep in my bed.. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off. They look into each others eyes. Scott takes his shirt off...kay. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott.since we're so cold...INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33.. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you.. F T SCOTT Maybe. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you.. A (CONTINUED) . Scott is in heaven.. revealing black panties to complement black bra..not have tea.. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him.. Ramona breaks off.kay. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.. Pilgrim.camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session... SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh. RAMONA Well. They tumble onto the bed and make out. RAMONA I changed my mind.
Scott walking next to her. It's been like a really long time... Scott relaxes.oh. RAMONA I have to work. They exchange a smile. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. Please come. just this. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. RAMONA You're welcome.that was a joke. B A 37 EXT. 35 SCOTT This is cool.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. thanks. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing.I think I needed this. and this is. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. we're terrible. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him.. Ramona is gone. . Whatever this is.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. So. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah... Ramona skates towards the front gate. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. I didn't even get any. SCOTT Hey. RAMONA'S ROOM ..
INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 37 RAMONA Sure.
STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. . She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. STACEY And this is Wallace. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow.. Scott Pilgrim.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. his social skills vanish. Ramona is already skating far. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy.. RAMONA Hey. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. his room-mate. THE ROCKIT . girl number. 212 664-7665.At The- “THE ROCKIT. Scott is so amazed at her presence. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”. far away. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. reaching Scott at the bar. I did totally come. hey! It’s tonight. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. He’s chronically enfeebled. WALLACE Hey. She hands him a note. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. right back next to Scott..(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop.INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. STACEY Excuse my brother. Scott looks back up. I’m Stacey. B A F T 38 INT. SCOTT Oh..
He pushes her away. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. Wallace stares at Jimmy. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have.. STILLS We were just on stage. For sound check. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. He didn’t even see Knives come in.. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. Scott scurries off. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. BACKSTAGE . We hear feedback from a mic onstage. The sound guy hated us. People love us. Scott’sScott goes white. wake up. THE ROCKIT. wake up.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. Knives looks kinda sexy. SCOTT I. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. Stacey stares at Scott. PROMOTER (O. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. 39 INT..uh. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. Go. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. wearing makeup and new clothes.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36.. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. To.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys.
WALLACE Jimmy. THE ROCKIT. and these are the Boys. THE ROCKIT. Wallace yells from the balcony.. Please Die. CRASH Thank you. .CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They.INTEGRATED FINAL 37.04 seconds. 40 INT. STAGE ." And it goes a little something like this. BACKSTAGE . Kim glowers. A41 INT. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. You passed. Jimmy. I am Crash. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. I am so very very sad..haven't started playing yet. and it's called "We Hate You. WALLACE That was a test. STAGE . TOO? CRASH Yes. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . 8 year old girl drummer. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. TRASHA. gives Wallace the finger.
B A F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.
BACKSTAGE . THE ROCKIT. 43 INT.CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience".CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. Stacey turns to Ramona.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax.. The audience are stunned. THE ROCKIT. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. He has so many friends.. BACKSTAGE . He's a friend. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. THE ROCKIT.. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. . how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. STACEY So Knives. BALCONY . THE ROCKIT. These guys are good. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. 41 INT. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's.um. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER.. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. STAGE .
. She faints in the excitement. 45 INT. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and.. ANGLE on Knives. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic... THE ROCKIT. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT.. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT.. TWO. ONE. THE ROCKIT. BACKSTAGE .you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. BALCONY .INTEGRATED FINAL 39.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE. staring at the stage.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony..you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. sees Stacey talking to Knives. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott.. THE ROCKIT. F (CONTINUED) . STAGE . I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes. Scott nods vigorously. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole.yeah. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. KNIVES CHAU Well..CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out.. So give it up for Sex. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story.
It is I. Pilgrim... SCOTT Thank you.. Patel LANDS like a cat. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . Matthew Patel. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. Alright. WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. They land in THE PIT. Consider our fight. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out).begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. Pilgrim. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant.. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right.
Scott blocks. Scott blocks. Patel punches. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. then holds his hand up for a time-out.
Scott looks up to Ramona. They pause. We only kissed once. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. Scott evades and counter-attacks. all the little jocks wanted me. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. non-jock boy in school.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. landing kicks and punches. . We were one hell of a team. in the seventh grade. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. then lands more punches. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. Scott jump-spins away from danger. Patel evades. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. probably in the entire state. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. breathing heavy. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. They exchange furious blows. Matthew was the only non-white. I told him to hit the showers. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. After a week and a half.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A.
They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. He flips back onto the stage. Scott rolls across the stage.. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. Patel levitates into the air. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. 47 SCOTT Dude.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. Scott dodges. dodging a third wave of fireballs.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. Maybe you’ll see. wait. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. It hits Patel square in the eyes. Scott hits the ground. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. SCOTT Open your eyes.. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. POOF. narrowly dodging the attack. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. T A (CONTINUED) . Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. you’re not the brightest. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about.
THE ROCKIT. BALCONY . 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 47 K. Scott lands and picks them up. Passes Stacey. They clatter to the stage floor. 48 INT.O! Scott punches Patel. He explodes into COINS.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. SCOTT Sweet. Coins.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A.
.CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT.. THE ROCKIT.. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. I guess. clapping wildly from the balcony. THE BUS .NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. Ramona yanks Scott away. THE ROCKIT. 48 RAMONA Well. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them.... SCOTT Aw man. $2. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date..CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . who is being resuscitated by Tamara. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. 50 INT.but he is long gone. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh.. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. STAGE .INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. The Promotor ambles back onstage. Sex Bob-Omb wins. Tell your gay friends I said bye. PROMOTER Yeah. BALCONY . STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. it was great meeting you.so like. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo..40? That's not even enough for the bus home. Ramona takes a breath.
Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott kisses Ramona. SCOTT Well. I guess. yes. The studio audience applauds.. Scott bursts through the front door.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. I mean me.. SCOTT Cool. . right? I got to second base last night.. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. 52 53 OMITTED INT.. Do you want to make out? Uh. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. SCOTT So.. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. And someone has a second date tonight. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. The studio audience 'awwww's.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much.. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. someone got to second base last night. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. a spring in his step. what you're saying is. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then.maybe first and a half.
it's HARD. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation.but.. I don't want you gaying up the place.You have to break up with Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45. hey. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner... I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives.. SCOTT But. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. If you have a problem with it. I swear to God. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly... At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. T A . Scott. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine. WALLACE If you don't do it. Today... Scott. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. F SCOTT But you.. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost. SCOTT You’re a monster. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. WALLACE Okay..you're. so you can't be here tonight.
53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A.
. The one after that. SCOTT You suck. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. The next click is me hanging up. 54 EXT. B A Ummm.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O.. KNIVES CHAU (O.. SCOTT So. Um. I am stalking him later. SCOTT Oh. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. Knives.. like.is me pulling the trigger. Uh.. Hi. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. bucko. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. do you want to. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now. Surprising no one.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? .. 46.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone.S. Wallace turns the television way up. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET .okay. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. hey.
. really. Like. to meet my parents.. SCOTT Like.. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. Chinese food? Yeah... Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah.. KNIVES CHAU Oh. 55 INT... 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder. Well. B A SCOTT Uh. T (CONTINUED) A . just so bad. hey. SONIC BOOM .DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah. SCOTT And. pounding inside Scott's head..INTEGRATED FINAL 47. KNIVES CHAU No. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. I'm in..and. It’s not my favorite.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. It's my birthday dinner. it's okay. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom.I think that's a really bad idea.
SCOTT Um. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 55 Knives is so smitten.. listen..I was thinking we should break up or whatever. the word actually appears onscreen.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A. Scott brushes it away. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop.
55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.. 57 SCOTT Oh. 56 INT. SCOTT Aw. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out.it's not going to work out. thinking about Knives. Kim and Stills share a look.. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. in shock... leaving Knives in the aisle. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT .. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. thinks of something happier. 56 57 INT/EXT. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs. No. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles. We broke up.. KIM PINE Wait. KIM PINE Scott. Oh.. SCOTT Aw.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone.um. thanks.EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up.. a little happier.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. I meant scum of the earth. YOUNG NEIL You.you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . thanks. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2. her funky pink hair. you are the salt of the earth... B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS.
Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair... YOUNG NEIL Newnew. Like you said. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. whether they’re old. weirded out by this hair development. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. RAMONA Hey everyone. This is sudden death now. RAMONA Yes. this is Stephen Stills. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. but don’t worry. We were lucky to survive that last round. 57 SCOTT Yeah. I just dyed it. SCOTT It’s all blue. now sporting BLUE HAIR.. Kim mimes shooting herself. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it. new or new-new. RAMONA Yeah. Young Neil. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp. that’s.. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey.. Kim.you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) .. B A Scott ushers her in.
INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Starts ushering Ramona out again. KIM PINE Believe it or not. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT Okay. dude. Good. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. preparing food as Wallace looks on.. good. YOUNG NEIL . Cool. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . STEPHEN STILLS Uh. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. Ramona goes to the bathroom. 58 Ramona lounges. Get used to it.. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. Scott drops the act. KIM PINE Yeah.uh. He’s an idiot. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. I actually dated Scott in high school..how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. See you guys tomorrow. Scott fake laughs.. reading a magazine. SCOTT She changed her hair.
INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A. 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Impulsive. “when”. Wallace pulls on a jacket. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. Ramona returns. with a panicked whisper. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. See you in sixty. good. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. Fickle. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. She’s spontaneous. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. Scott stops Wallace at the door.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. Oh my god. 58 SCOTT I know. A (CONTINUED) . Good. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. if you strike out in the next hour. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. picnic style. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT Don’t go. come find me at the Castle.
Ramona is taken aback. Ra-mona. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. Ra-mona. Mona. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Ra-ra-ra. RAMONA You'd get fat. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. Or just all the time without even stopping. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. Mona. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. Ra-mona. A (CONTINUED) . it goes like this: Ra-mona.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. I could honestly eat it for every meal. SCOTT No. Ooooh. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. Ra-ra-ra. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished.
He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago.. sorry... No. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her.. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. Then. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. NARRATOR It wasn’t.. It was brutal. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. It’s just that I got. three hours before his big breakup. 58 SCOTT Ha. RAMONA Your hair is cute. I can barely remember it. T A . she told me it was mutual. NARRATOR She dumped him. It was... SCOTT Not really. But it’s so long ago. Earl Jones deep. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps..she stopped liking me. I like it long.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.. But she stopped liking that name. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears.
58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk.. ENDLESS STAIRWAY .you make me feel. RAMONA Oh. 59 EXT. in which case I do drugs all the time.. They’re shooting this movie up here. 59 RAMONA You seem a little.. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat.. I don’t know.. T A SCOTT Nooo. a castle surrounded by big.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. unless you do. F SCOTT Yeah.. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA. who? SCOTT I forget. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. Putting one leg in front of the other. bright movie set lights. Let’s find out. Things seem a little brighter around you or something.heightened. long handrail between them.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. Not that I do drugs. but.I don't know. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. I just. I just love me some walking. as if crossing a magical line. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle. every drug. .
We gotta go. smoking a cigarette (blacked out).INTEGRATED FINAL 55. 60 EXT. B A What? Why? Slut. I am not a slut. including Wallace. FIRST A. RAMONA Oh. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. CASA LOMA . RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. Mr. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. doing kickflips. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. RAMONA Ooh. T (CONTINUED) A . Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man.D. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. The spectators go “oooh”. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. He skates towards the set. man.
LUCAS LEE Action. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. We had drama. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass.. who gasps. who remains oblivious. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade.. SCOTT ..you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade. Actually..my.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56.God. RAMONA He just followed me around. He was a little snot nosed brat. . Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. SCOTT Oh. I just remember there being lots of drama. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey..... it might have been math. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode.
then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. crumbling it. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. . 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. wobbly. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. WALLACE Scott. flooring him. How’s life? He seems nice. He nods to Ramona. Fight. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. Evil ex.
Scott stands to fight the double. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie.. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee. Lucas Lee wanders off.. Tae Kwon Doe style. A .INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. SCOTT (O.. Suddenly. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. Scott staggers to his feet. LUCAS LEE He’s good. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. all identically dressed.. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. punchy. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. He slides across the wet-down ground. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station.) Looks like you’re seeing double.S. hey. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. smirking on the sidelines. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground.) Mr. SCOTT Hey. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl.S. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again.
preparing for the deathblow. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. Scott goes to shake it. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP... Lucas offers a hand. Let’s get a beer.. bro.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. . LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. 60 Lucas turns. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm.. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. Lucas stomps over to him.. shocked to see Scott.. well then don't worry about it. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. Scott smiles through his aching jaw. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. SCOTT You’re needed back on set. LUCAS LEE Prepare. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah.no. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . framed through the torn skyline.
Big fan. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. ese. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. SCOTT Wow.. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching.. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight... 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. SCOTT Hey.. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. very impressed at Lucas. SCOTT So you can sell them. revealing a skate company tattoo. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. a perfect ollie onto the rail.. bro. if it’s too hardcore. WALLACE Hi. impressed at Lucas. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. F T A (CONTINUED) .HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. Lucas pulls down his shirt. HSSSSSSSSS. I have my own skate company. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT..
Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs.. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. WALLACE Wow. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.. he totally bailed. Scott smacks his forehead. 60 SCOTT Wow. HSSSSSSSSS.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. phone pressed to his ear. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. It was right under your nose. Call me back. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. A Scott slumps on the couch. she totally bailed.. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. Scott Pilgrim.D. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. 60 FIRST A. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. please record your message after the beep. . SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). T SCOTT Hey. 61 INT. Scott again.that’s a wrap everybody. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it.. you said that last night. It’s me. Uh. RAMONA is not available. 212 664-7665. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously.
NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. Step up your game. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. You have the spirit of a warrior. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. it’s “love”. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. if she’s really the girl of your dreams.. A SEXY. Look. guy. WALLACE If you want something bad.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. I need you to move out. Break out the L-word. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word.. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. you have to fight for it. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. Either way. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit.) Hey Scott.S. RINGY RING. completely shocked at this bombshell. Scott picks up. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. Scott slides to the floor. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. Scott. VOICE (O. then you have to let her know. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? .
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
technically this is not a nightmare. 62 SHFFF . but I just cashed my last raincheck. SCOTT Okay. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. T SCOTT Listen. darlin’. I’ve had it today. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. SCOTT Wait. He’s pissed now. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. She spins to face Scott. SHWAA .SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. Hits SOMETHING. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. . Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. Prepare to die. obviously.
STACEY (O. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. Whatever it is. STACEY (O. Someone help me. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken. then I’ll see you later. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. SCOTT Oh man. It’s actually me. I’m really. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . Scott looks to the sky.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . (MORE) B A 63 EXT.the Mystery Attacker vanishes. SCOTT It’s Scott. dialing Stacey frantically. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. BLOOR STREET . it’s Scott. SCOTT Well.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. really not up for this. Scott is in his usual payphone.S. But you won’t see me. baffled. It’s everyone else that’s crazy.S.
I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. not happy.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. Stacey turns around.S. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK".) I’m literally about to leave.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. SCOTT Cool.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. 63 STACEY (O. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. I’m coming in. THE SECOND CUP . Scott turns back to Julie. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside. Are you still working? 65. Stacey has her back turned. And by the way. mouthing that she has to go. (CONTINUED) . a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT.
I do that..INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. She looks at the floor... You kind of disappeared. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. No. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. "ENVY ADAMS. 23.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster. No biggie. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night. (CONTINUED) A Exes. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. They share an awkward moment. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. I want to hang.." The icy. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. SCOTT No. RAMONA Yeah. A . I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. I know it's early days. Listen. SCOTT Yeah. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again.
ENVY Okay.. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. so totally come. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. You guys should like. .. I know. I’m jealous. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona.excuse me. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA I’m gonna. ENVY Great. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. Ramona goes to order coffee. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. You’re so on the list. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex.
TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET .. 65 SCOTT No.. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. That. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend. This guy Todd. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. F T RAMONA So. How. RAMONA And two weeks later. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. that was Envy..DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side.that was Nat? . JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. SCOTT I can see how it sucks. 65 EXT.. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. Ramona returns. sipping their coffees. That didn’t end well either. About. Having the past come back to haunt you.
INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
I’m not gonna let her toy with me. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. SCOTT Double negative.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now. Tricky. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott and Young Neil. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. From this moment on. SCOTT Right. Music swells. Mm. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. 66 Scott stands (no pants).DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news.. B A Word. 66 INT. Ramona stops and kisses him.INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. Move on. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . Ramona lounges on the couch..
INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. STEPHEN STILLS No. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . And Envy asked us to open for them.
we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face..KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. We need to get some buzz going. 67 SCOTT I hate you. Is a gig. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. We need stalkers.. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. .EVENING B A Yeah. DRUG SMART .INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. pressed against the window. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. We need groundswell. SCOTT Yeah. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. You know. for the band? For the band. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows.
INTEGRATED FINAL 71. eyes narrowing. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. This is all her fault. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. looking sexy.. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT.. 68A INT. (CONTINUED) . isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. KNIVES’ BATHROOM .I look so.. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot. Knives throws a long scarf on.. this really burns. so he tried to find someone cool but old.so good.EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair.
drunk. We were Sex Bob-Omb. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD .CONTINUOUS A 70 . Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. as she plots. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. But I know how to get him back.NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. Bar. She knows we suck. LEE’S PALACE . The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. Ramona excuses herself. Now. PUSH into Knives. LEE’S PALACE .Sold out’.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. F T 70 INT. LEE'S PALACE . Tamara pops into frame. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. 71 71 INT. TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know.
LEE'S PALACE . Knives follows. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. LADIES BATHROOM . SCOTT Briefly.. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. "KNIVES CHAU. 72 INT. Briefly.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. standing next to Ramona.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. clothes and makeup. Or is it.. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. 17. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. looking hot. confused. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. LEE'S PALACE. F T . KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. RAMONA Hey.
.MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT... Stares at Scott.” and “Who. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize.. A I know. (sing songy) Peee time. 25. Envy lets her coat slip off.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD.. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. LEE’S PALACE. EVIL-EX #3. (CONTINUED) . Knives screams her teen brains out. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. 75 INT. revealing a stunning figure. he cuts a handsome. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her. no longer shrouded in dry ice. ENVY in a long black coat. You know? Oh yeah. I gotta pee.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. Oh yeah.. Pee time. striking ROCK GOD figure. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. (turns beet red) I mean. MENS BATHROOM .INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. "TODD INGRAM. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. LEE’S PALACE . He’s alone.
LEE'S PALACE . 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors.INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A.LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb.
Oh. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. Envy burns a hole through Scott. RAMONA Mmm hmm. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage.. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. LEE’S PALACE. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. Everyone else feels. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. RAMONA Hey Todd. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher.. TODD INGRAM Been a while. They’re so much better live. Envy. YOUNG NEIL Man. Just oh my God. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this.“AWKWARD”. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . you have to see them live. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them.
it’s not something I can really put into words. You know him. KNIVES CHAU Um... ENVY I was just there.Envy? I read your blog. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple.. you know? You suit each other. Did you get those jeans in New York. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. I like your outfit Ramona. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. Stephen. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. ENVY So. Envy.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. ENVY Just saying.. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah. JULIE Ramona lived in New York. cute couple. in general? T A .
. She is about to answer when.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. 77 Scott looks at Ramona.Knives stands up.
FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. I’m not afraid to hit a girl.your hair. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR.. Of. Her.my neck. Young Neil escorts Knives out. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. Scott boils. SCOTT KK. JULIE So. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage.. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet. Scott hovers.yy. Hair.. ENVY You’re incorrigible. Todd sits back down like nothing happened... TODD INGRAM That’s right. Her hair is black and plain as before. grasping his neck. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid.. Todd smirks. 77 Envy nods at Todd. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. I’m a rock star. Out. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT... choking.
to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. While the others bicker. question.anyone can be. A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT No kidding.. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP.. Scott sails out of shot and into space. Ramona helps Scott to his feet. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. SCOTT If I peed my pants.. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby.vegan. He moans in pain. He tries to keep cool. I always wondered. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. TODD INGRAM Bingo.. if you knew the science. despite being in a lot of pain.
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. 77 RAMONA It’s not raining. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Young Todd punches a hole in the moon.. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff.) A week and a half later. It was pretty crazy. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. Nobody cared. I guess that’s not very nice. It’s part of the reason I moved here.O. but I used to be kind of.O. RAMONA (V. We wrecked stuff.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. RAMONA (V. so I dumped him.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. RAMONA (V. RAMONA (V. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA Look. Scott can only fixate on one aspect.O. A brief. It’s pretty crazy. I was really hoping to put it all behind me.O. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch.like that.) We hated everyone. Nobody cares.. 77 SCOTT Oh.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by.
.. Stills calls through the hole. Right? ENVY Basically.sort of ready for another round. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. B A SCOTT Sorry. call us when you’re done.ready for another round....INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80.. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. She dusts. SCOTT You used to be so. We hear a distant CRUMP. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you.dust. Scott CHARGES at Todd.. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business.dislike you.cleans up. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona .nice! F Um.Monday. I and he! Scott stands up . TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . T SCOTT A SCOTT I.. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl. so. And the cleaning lady.. STEPHEN STILLS Uh.... SCOTT He and me. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off.
77 ENVY Oh. he’ll be done real soon. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A.
He hovers next to him. Todd calls to a roadie. Todd floats toward him. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. You’re through. LEE'S PALACE . I know. savoring the kill. Todd LEVITATES.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. Suddenly. LEE’S PALACE. wicked. 78 INT. Envy grins at Ramona. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. Scott crashes into a backstage food table.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. Pilgrim. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. ENVY Sorry. Crummy way to end things. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. floating towards Scott with his bass. picking the hell out of his bass. The good one. I actually know how to play bass. baby. cringing. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. amp pegged to 10. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. Scott turns around on his knees. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. Your bass hand is badly injured. fauxhawk rising. 79 (CONTINUED) . shredding him into oblivion.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT.
INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 79 ENVY I’m sorry. but that's pathetic.
SCOTT Actually. Todd floats to the ground.m. you knowingly ingested Gelato. tool. in my mind's eye or whatever. 7:30 p. takes one of the cups and drinks. bitch. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. on February 1st. Thanks. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827.m. no vegan powers. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book. A . TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. You know. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge.. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. I'll take the one with soy. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. I poured soy in this cup.
. jaw ajar. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. I know. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. SCOTT Maybe they should. shooting Envy a look on the way out. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. Now let’s get out of here. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. Natalie. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. (CONTINUED) . The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. Julie pops into shot. disgusted. Envy blinks. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. So I guess we’re even. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. in shock. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall.. F SCOTT Uh. Ramona follows. 79 Envy gasps.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. Envy stares. sorry I guess. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. RAMONA Crummy way to end things.
Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. I am so pissed off for you right now.. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. Ramona and Scott. WALLACE Envy Adams. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. ENVY Shut the fuck up. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. Julie. I liked him. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. KIM PINE Then why would we. And hot. That Todd guy was cool too.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. on the fringes. Stills coughs. PIZZA PIZZA . A (CONTINUED) . 80 INT. It’s an odd mood.. 79 JULIE For the record.oh. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. STEPHEN STILLS Neil.
OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. not with fists. Hey. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives.. Yet. Ooh. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. Oh. WALLACE I mean. lagging behind. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. so.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. Other Scott whispers to Wallace.. Scott limps a bit. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. Scott takes another bite. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. B 81 EXT. Ramona falls back with him. So let’s go. He shrugs. AFTER PARTY . F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night.NIGHT A Oh. we can totally go.
. I’m fine.. I’m fine. It’s justRAMONA It’s just.? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 81 SCOTT No.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A.
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
B A ROXY Well honey. no one can. ROXY Back off hasbian. The girls square off.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you. If Gideon can’t have you. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here. 82 ROXY Oh boy. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. does she know me.she.is. 23. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious.. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air.” RAMONA It was just a phase...talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. F T A (CONTINUED) .... Roxy flips out of the hold. SCOTT What. The League hath spoken. clearing the busy dance floor.
It smashes a speaker. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. With blinding speed. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. you slag. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? . RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. F WALLACE Oh yeah. this is live? Uh huh. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. He’s a creep. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. ROXY Give it a rest. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. This is a League game. RAMONA Believe it. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. The belt wraps around it. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. Ramona. leaving a dent in it. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. She BLOCKS with the hammer.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists. Or possibly feet.
kicking them apart with the splits. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. still in the splits. Some sooner than others. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee.. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. Roxy falls. ROXY Fight your own battles. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. RAMONA Whenever we were making out.. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll.. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. She staggers. winces. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. They’re soft. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. She grins at Ramona.. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona... .never.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91.be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. He lands HARD on the floor.
People text furiously and point fingers at Scott. a wave of gossip spreading around the room.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. 82 The party starts up again. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. Scott has already downed his second drink. She touches her hair. Ramona follows tentatively. RAMONA Sooooo. Looks hurt.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. The gossip echoes around them. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. RAMONA I really think we should split. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please.. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Only on special occasions. Ramona tries to lighten things. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A. Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.
INGRAM.Ramona returns. LEE. there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. RAMONA Dirty laundry. A (CONTINUED) . Ramona exits proper. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. KATAYANAGI TWINS. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink.S. GIDEON.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared.. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. In fact I’m sick of it.NIGHT B A But then . Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. You’re drunk. It reads“PATEL. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. RAMONA (CONT’D) P. Scott looks at the list.. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . You. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. I thought you might be more understanding. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. Ramona leaves.” 83 INT. RICHTER. Here’s your stupid list.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
She’s totally here. 85 KIM PINE Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
is very serious and Japanese. KEN KATAYANAGI. Scott and Stills get into battle position.. Now an open air venue.S.. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands.. leaving a huge hole in the roof.. Can we do this? I mean. (CONTINUED) .. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice. She looks happy.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. She is totally there. we can do this. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. SNOW falls onto the stage. is serious and very Japanese. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. 23. 23. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. KYLE KATAYANAGI.. A wall of FEEDBACK builds... Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right.) They brought the house down. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. Scott turns bleak again. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. They are chatting. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. The crowd cheers.but you should talk to her before she’s gone.
Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. For once. T A (CONTINUED) . ASSHOLE. then helps Kim up. SCOTT Gideon. they sound awesome.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. Scott. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. This is GIDEON GRAVES. We’re done. He struggles to his feet. Kyle looks at Ken. They share a nod. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs.. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. 37. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. comes in heavy on the kick drum. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. SCOTT Alright.. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves.
SCOTT Ramona. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. I have something I need to tell you.was epic. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. The crowd goes bazooky. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. hovering next to Scott. Knives watches him go. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. I’m not even stalking you. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears...NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98.. SCOTT Getting a life.. What are you doing? . EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. different. but she and Gideon are gone. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. eyes narrowing.. 86 EXT. SCOTT You seem. RAMONA Yeah. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause.. different. He can’t find Ramona. THE NINTH CIRCLE . SCOTT Ramona. Scott follows.
Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. . I don’t care about any of that stuff. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. Listen. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. And I want you to know. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. really mean it.
A driver opens the passenger door. Ramona looks at the floor. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes. The Lincoln parks. GIDEON GRAVES You know. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99.. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. T RAMONA It’s Gideon. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up... Scottie..) That’s the bad news. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. captioned “PEE”. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. Stills is ga-ga.. 86 RAMONA Oh. VOICE (O. B A Bob-omb. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. A (CONTINUED) .. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. Scott glowers. I just.S.I can’t help myself around him. Okay. Oh okay. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs.it's not going to work out.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.
F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. if it wasn’t for me. A . Scott. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. A cough. I mean. but if it wasn’t for you. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. GIDEON And hey. can I just say. she wouldn’t be back with me. Kim shrugs and signs it too. So I guess it all shakes out. you would have never been with Ramona. before trying to hand it back to Scott. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. GIDEON Oh and Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. A meek Young Neil slides into view. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. we should really be thanking each other. bass in hand. keep your emotions in check. There are hand shakes all round. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. SCOTT Nuh-uh. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. Scott stands alone. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. buddy.
A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona....NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone... THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN .. 87 INT. thinking about Ramona... 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 100A. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car. Scott tries desperately to think positive.
did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. Scott looks at the camera. gives Scott a hug.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . 88 INT. Scott remains in the exact same position. F T A STACEY (O. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT. little brother. Over PITCH BLACK.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101.S. 88 B A STACEY Oh. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. THE PARK . “THONK”. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. STACEY Time heals all wounds. Flicks the light on. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. Stacey heads off. SCOTT Seven. Night turns to day. Day turns to night.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. staring straight ahead.. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. Gets a shock. Well that’s not so bad.NIGHT Scott enters....S.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go.
For sex. VOICE (O. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. WALLACE (O.S.S.) It’s Chris. SCOTT She’s with Gideon.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . A Right.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102.) Or someone. wrapped in a blanket. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. Right. But I need my own bed tonight. SCOTT (O. Scott sits in the chair. 88 WALLACE (O.) It’s Chris.S. I get it. you know I love you. WALLACE Ah. T . WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. it’s probably just because he’s better than you. But you know.) Sorry. 89 INT. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk.S.S. That sucks. SCOTT And the year.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O. and I apologize for that.
WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 89 Scott nods.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. Scott nods.
Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. GIDEON'S LAIR .S.) Hey.S.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. He calls off. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call.) Yeah. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. it’s gonna be alright. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. SCOTT RINGY RING. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. T A Thanks. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . 91 (CONTINUED) . pal.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. I don’t want any hard feelings. Some guy picks up. INT. Scott nods.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch.S. Scott stares at the phone. SCOTT (O. I think this fight is over. 89 WALLACE Either way.
SCOTT (grim) Yeah. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O.) I hope so. Well as you know. B Password? Scott shrugs. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight.S. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. leaning against a warehouse wall. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. Finish him. Scott turns. STREETS OF TORONTO . Whatever.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. Maybe I’ll see you there. Click.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. SCOTT Mm.S. amigo.S) Sure you did. alarmed. HIPSTER KID Cool. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. What do you say? . REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless.) What a perfect asshole. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. 92 EXT.
WAREHOUSE . B A F T A . Scott steps into the elevator.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. HIPSTER KID Cool. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. So far so good. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. 93 INT.
COMEAU holds court among them.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. They are legion. then you’re doomed. Don’t give him the satisfaction.the CHAOS THEATRE. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. COMEAU Yeah.S. (CONTINUED) . SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. STEPHEN STILLS Well. Ramona kneels at his side. 94 INT. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. their first album is so much better than their first album.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. YOUNG NEIL on bass. wearing identical outfits.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero.. skinny jeans. Chuck Taylors. looking up at his former bandmates.. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. SCOTT What if I have a beef. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery.. now using SWEET BRAND amps.. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. CHAOS THEATRE . GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you.
I’m in love with her. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild..O. Gideon loses his cool. It’s ancient history. League.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. (CONTINUED) . flexes. whatever.buddy. Ramona looks away from Scott. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because.. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest.) Scott earned the power of love. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. A new power comes over Scott.. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving. buddy. NARRATOR (V. Scott gets into a fighting stance. Gideon stands up.. Gideon smiles.
. and sell out and stuff. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. My cane. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. Then from above. we are here to make money. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. KNIVES CHAU (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. “KNIVES CHAU.. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. (CONTINUED) . tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid.. Scott hits the ground HARD. Gideon raises his sword.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. SCOTT Your club sucks. to administer a final blow. rolling to a stop. Gideon chuckles. She lands awkwardly.S. exploding each attacker into COINS. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. He slashes at them to the beat. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. ON BEAT. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. Gideon approaches. 18 YEARS OLD. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. Scott looks to Knives.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. both concerned and amazed.. by the way.
He was warned plenty of times. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. distracted by his duelling exes. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. T A (CONTINUED) . your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. separating them. throwing blocks and punches. I didn’t steal anyone. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively. KUNG FU STYLE.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. Kung Pao Chicken.
S.cheat. Knives. Okay? (beat) I mean. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us. With you..SAND blows through frame.Scott's eyes blink open. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives.DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus.maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott. 95 EXT. but you can’t.... GIDEON (O. neither amused. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat.death...... Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground. THE DREAM DESERT . . rubbing his temples..) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind.. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott.. You can cheat on these ladies all you want.... I dated you and then I dated Ramona. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY. but..
fainter than before.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. 95 SCOTT Ugh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Ramona appears out of nowhere.
RAMONA Alright. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. Dying probably sucks. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. has a way of getting into my head. SCOTT That is evil. the truth is.. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. SCOTT Well. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. T A (CONTINUED) ... Ramona covers the chip. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. and that’s when he started paying attention. RAMONA He’s like that. eh? B A SCOTT Well. that’s legitimately disappointing. Scott. self-consciously touching her hair. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. maybe now would be the time to get into it.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110... I mean.... revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. Seeing as I’m about to die. he literally has a way of getting into my head. That’s why I had to leave. it was me who was obsessed. I was crazy about him. He just. I really will leave you alone forever now. RAMONA No. But he ignored me.
The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott. SCOTT So... 96 INT. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. I really fought for you back there. We had a good run. A Ahhhhhh. The winds blow harder. He flicks the light on. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. Scott slumps to his knees. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb.. as Scott enters.. I guess.. Ramona seeming to fade away.so alone.. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. SCOTT . SCOTT I feel like I learned something. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment.. DA-DING. Ramona is gone. RAMONA Uh-huh.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. . T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there..
Sadly.) Again? WALLACE (O. enemies.) Sure thing.S. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along.. I died. I don’t want any hard feelings.S. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. B A Um.) Scott..S.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. But my Mentor. GIDEON GRAVES (O..S. So I did. But before I do that. guy. There were tests. 96 SCOTT . I feel terrible about everything. Chaos Theatre. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. I was just about toSCOTT Hey. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. hands him the phone. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure.. during which I totally seized the sword.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. I need to ask one final favor of you.) F T A (CONTINUED) . allies. pal. when my journey began. a call I considered refusing. GIDEON GRAVES (O. Gideon Graves. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. WALLACE (O. SCOTT Wallace.S. I was living in an ordinary world. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling.. On PITCH BLACK. that’s you..
WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. hardcore. 96 SCOTT Sorry. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . exposing his junk.
SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. 97 EXT.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. you shall be known as “Neil”. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me.AGAIN.everything. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. Young Neil? You have learned well. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. Stephen. Kim shrugs.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go.. the new line-up rocks.. 96 SCOTT You seen one... WAREHOUSE . From this point forward. 99 INT. SCOTT Don’t worry. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) .DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. STREETS OF TORONTO . knocking them out. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces. 98 INT. deadpan as ever. COMEAU Yeah.. You guys sound better without me.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. I know what I’m doing. CHAOS THEATRE ..
INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.
O. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. Scott goes straight into fight mode.. I have beef. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. He unsheathes his SWORD.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. let’s do it. backs to each other.I want to fight you for me. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT. T SCOTT No. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. A strange new power overcomes Scott. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat. My cane. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. You’re pretentious.S. exploding each attacker into COINS. different than before. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O.. Ramona at his side. LEAPING in the air. They land on opposite sides of the platform. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . the club sucks. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott calls out. Dead. apparently. 99 Gideon falls down.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A.
stunned. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. I cheated on you. RAMONA Never felt better. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. I hurt you. And I’m sorry. So. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. Knives pulling KNIVES. They square off. Ramona staggered. bloodied..INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. The CHIP no longer blinks. hands held out. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. All turn to see GIDEON.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. SCOTT No. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. but still grinning. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk. Scott GRABS her wrists. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. I was a different guy back then. Ramona rubs the back of her head. She kicks him in the face.S. Knives steps back.you're not a fat ass. GIDEON GRAVES (O. taste my steel. Scott turns to Ramona. Scott jumps between them.. She didn’t mean that. Knives.
Knives joins him. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. you got a fight alright. Scott steps into a fighting stance. GIDEON Ramona. the three of them ready to rumble. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. 99 SCOTT Oh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
his glasses glow. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. Gideon swings at Scott. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. Scott ducks. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. They CLASH in the air. Gideon spins low. Gideon BLOCKS. Gideon BLOCKS. takes a hesitant step towards him. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Knives and Ramona. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. Knives throws her knives. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. dropping her. Scott leaps in the air. . disarms Scott with one move. his HEALTH BAR increases. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. expecting her to move. baby. He grins. They barely dodge him. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. Ramona KICKS. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Knives attacks and scores a hit. They fence. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. You’re still my girl. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. She looks doubtful. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. knocking her down. Gideon jumps after him. SCOTT ATTACKS. He cuts big arcs at Scott. He shakes off the assault and grins. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. Knives whips off her scarf.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . Gideon spins again and swings upward. The swords create an “X”. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. Gideon hits her back.
then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. I’m what’s happening.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. From the floor. (CONTINUED) . COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. A pain in my ass. Not long now. She lands painfully at the bottom. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. You’re zero. Knives and Scott share a look. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. One lens of his glasses cracks. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. They Get up and circle Gideon. I’m blowing up right now. she kicks him in the back of the head. You’re nothing. sending him spinning. 99 Scott lands hard.. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact.. defeated. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. Me? I’m what’s hip. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona.
Gideon’s head EXPLODES.. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. Scott and Knives kiss. right? Kim points to the falling coins. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. Oh. I’m not cool enough for Ramona.) You two make a good combo. They share a smile. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down.. YOUNG NEIL Whoa. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) .S. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. The coin rain continues. And you got another thing right.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. makes her way towards them. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. RAMONA (O.. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins.. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. KIM PINE There goes our deal. Right now. awake now. Ramona. You are blowing up. 99 SCOTT You’re right.
100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. He’s a super-nice guy.. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona. Scott and Negascott face off.. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. They look expectantly at the entrance. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw. We just shot the shit. SCOTT No.. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. The glasses GLIMMER. We actually have a lot in common.yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. Dark clothes. They chat amiably.S. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses.but can you defeat.. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face. Then. Evil face. Both take a step forward.. Scott runs his fingers through his hair.. Fringed hair. nothing. This is something I have to face on my own.. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. worried for Scott.) You can defeat me. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118... shake hands and part ways.. THE WAREHOUSE .EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. Knives and Ramona.
INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A. 104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
RAMONA I should tahnk you. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. Steps tentatively away from Knives. SCOTT Hey. Snow begins to fall.. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. but the past keeps catching up. though. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . Ramona sees this and smiles. RAMONA I dunno. hoping to slip away. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. literally taking his guard down. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. He turns to see her. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. SCOTT I think I understand. Where are you going? Ramona. I should probably disappear.. stops and turns back. F T Scott calls after her. B A RAMONA It's hard. You do? Scott smiles. you know? I came here to get away. then realizes Ramona has gone. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119.
She turns to walk off again. T Surprised. Scott watches.Nega Scott also sidles into frame. F KNIVES You earned it. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. then lets it drop.S. RAMONA Well. Before she’s gone. And stuff.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A.. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad.) Hey.. We hear a 2ND COUGH . A (CONTINUED) . We hear a COUGH . but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. Knives doesn’t look back.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. SCOTT Yeah. Guitar still in hand. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me.S.. Ramona walks on into the night alone. You’ve been fighting for her all along. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives. She takes his hand briefly. then hearsKNIVES (O. but thenSCOTT (O. Bye and stuff. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek.) Go get her. I’m too cool for you anyway..
.5. it was apparently awesome.) Oh my God. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside. CONTINUE? 10.1.. Scott takes it... Someone seriously should have been filming it.2..8. F JULIE (V. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door. sunrise coming up over Toronto.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B.) Oh my God..9. winter turning to spring. A STACEY (V.7. Literally.4. It was unbelievable.. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off.. I mean bananas. snow swirling around it.. . A We see the door with the star on it...O.. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could... night magically turning to day.3..... can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater.. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves.. try again? Ramona smiles.O. Yeah. T Over this magical transformation. it was a HUGE fight.. standing right in the middle of the street.6..
105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 120.
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