Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley



by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall

WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010

Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.



EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?



INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.


KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?

SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!

YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?

SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?



STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.








1A. 2

SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.






books scattering everywhere. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. Scott grins heroically. . cute and innocent with clothes to match. Scott winks at Knives. Scott winks at the camera. grumbling. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So. 22 YEARS OLD. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. THE BUS . 45.S. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. Knives crouches down to pick up her books.. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. 2 KIM PINE Well. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese. 17.. RATING: AWESOME.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. SCOTT (O. demanding. She's Chinese.) Hey.. MOTHER CHAU You drop book.. sits next to her mother. MOTHER CHAU.

.DAY Back in the kitchen. 4 INT.. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .INTEGRATED FINAL 2A. everyone looks at Scott. KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

4 SCOTT Yes. 5 INT/EXT. really. She has the capacity to geek. Scott opens the door a crack. B A Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. Scott smiles broadly. hey. Knives. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. I want her to geek out on us. this is Stephen Stills. STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. She geeks. It is. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. Please be good. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. SCOTT She’ll geek. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. He's the talent. SCOTT Oh. Let it be soon. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . man.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.

STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . Lemme get your coat. KNIVES CHAU Hi. Knives waves. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh.. drums....yes. LAME BRAND amps. sticks in her hands. wow. KNIVES CHAU Wow.Zelda.S.. (CONTINUED) .. I just live here. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi.. I’m not in the band. who finally gets it. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb. that’s Young Neil.Tetris.. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives. . 6 INT. sorry. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil.that’s kind of a big question. bass. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. guitar.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. YOUNG NEIL Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. that’s Kim. Amps hum to life.DAY Knives enters. ratty rug. SCOTT Knives. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up.

EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. SCOTT Yeaaah. F (CONTINUED) . SCOTT B A Yeaaah.wait.. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome.Sex Bob-Omb. feedback lingering. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. Knives watches. Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics.. The song ends.. Kim....INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5.. BUS STOP . 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus. what? KIM PINE I mean.amazing.. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE.. Amazing. 8 INT. KNIVES CHAU I can't even. if your life had a face I would punch it. Yeaaah. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott. jaw ajar. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended. 7 EXT.EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys.are so. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM ..

FUTON included. . ROOMMATE. arched eyebrow. The whole seventeen year old thing. SCOTT Yeaaaah. I'm dating a 17 year old. You're totally my bitch forever. Don’t tell too many people.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. SCOTT Neil. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. Kim. she seems awesome. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. WALLACE Yeah. ha.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6. ha. dark hair. disloyal. yes. He turns to WALLACE WELLS.. one room apartment. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. turns to Young Neil. SCOTT So. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. 24 YEARS OLD. ha. "WALLACE WELLS.. you were saying she seems awesome. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .


STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. WALLACE You know me. The phone goes. A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. you will not be served”. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. Scott picks up. SCOTT That gossipy bitch. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. Duh.S. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off." A STACEY (O.) You know me. cute. 9 SCOTT I mean. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. SCOTT That’s not true. Knives Chau. Scott sinks into an armchair. WALLACE (O. YOUNGER SISTER. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. starts texting.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. 19. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING.S. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. Don’t tell my sister. peppy barista.

or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times.. We haven’t even held hands.. STACEY (CONT’D) So.. the whole deal. CATHOLIC SCHOOL’s just nice. STACEY Oh my God. 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. you know? It's just. so I wouldn't call it dating.simple. SCOTT This school has boys too. Uniformed boys and girls pour out. SCOTT Well. WALLACE I hate you... more like.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8. 10 EXT. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old.DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. F T A SCOTT I don't know. I think she hugged me once.. are you legitimately moving on. (CONTINUED) . Scott. At all. 9 SCOTT Yeah. she's only allowed out when the sun is up.. STACEY Um. you haven’tSCOTT No no no.

INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.

... Does he wear glasses? . KNIVES CHAU Oh. Scott looks at Knives. SCOTT Yeah.. Whispers. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed.. THE ARCADE . side by side. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck. this is my cool gay roommate.. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. like. WALLACE You're too good for him. He’s gay.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. You know. Wallace Wells.8. She digs for quarters. CONTINUE appears.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. The game ends. counting down: 10. T A WALLACE Yes..9.S. SCOTT Hey Knives. hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION).) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. Wow. Run. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize. KNIVES CHAU Oh.. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O. 11 INT. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move.

. JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. Hangers click in time. we're already pretty big. But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. Thank you.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. SCOTT I knew I personally rocked. Knives. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. 12 EXT. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . 13 INT. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. F T A A13 INT. but you guys ROCK. THE GOODWILL . what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. Julie. "PIZZA PIZZA" . you guys are gonna be HUGE.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. SCOTT Well. Bobby. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE. slices in hand. 22.

(to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her. 13 SCOTT Thank you. Julie.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. 15 EXT. SCOTT've never gone out with someone so talented. I heart them so much. But that’s just me. 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack.DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them. SCOTT Yeah. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . so whatever. SNOWY TORONTO STREET .. KNIVES CHAU .. KNIVES CHAU Oh. Scott hugs her. F KNIVES CHAU I mean. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life. I've. SCOTT Me neither. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy... you were saying about me? 14 EXT. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground. 11.

.. . 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals.. Wind blows. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus.. Wow.. You're just having some idiotic dream. SCOTT Here you go.INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott.. KNIVES CHAU Oh. SCOTT Oh God.. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God... She wears fishnets.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone.? ..Scott wanders alone through a barren land. okay. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Her pink hair is funky but cool. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands.. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 alone. sitting up in the FUTON..SCOTT WAKES UP. an army jacket.. But she's gone. THE DREAM DESERT . Wow. 17 INT. rubbing his eyes. The light snowfall turns into sand. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. She is hotter than the desert sun. skirt and goggles.. 16 (CONTINUED) .

Other Scott goes back to sleep. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream. WALLACE What is it.. It was somebody new. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. Scott opens the bathroom door. OTHER VOICE Oh God. goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. six in the morning. SCOTT But there was this girl. SCOTT No.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested. WALLACE Speaking of new. it wasn’t her.. WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. 17 WALLACE What is it. Scott? A scruffy. 22. Sunlight ignites the room. F T A . Wallace rubs his eyes... weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like.


SCOTT It was..CA to the librarian. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. STEPHEN STILLS (O. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again. Time slows to a crawl. (CONTINUED) ..) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. SCOTT Uh.. He carries a stack of books for Knives. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .S.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 hand slipped.INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. I’ll be quieter.uh... STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song.. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. head still in the clouds. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. Let’s talk about something else. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library.

. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . JULIE'S HOUSE . YOUNG NEIL I have to pee. Scott's head is still in the clouds. This is going to suck.. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did.. SCOTT ..this sucks. 19 SCOTT Sorry. I thought you guys split. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's. F SCOTT Aw.. man. you know.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. Kim Pine.. there may be some label guys there. T SCOTT Ugh. But. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. KIM PINE We're going to this party. 21 INT. what are we doing? 20 EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15. so. Both have red plastic cups in hand. Scott exits frame. retard.


15A. 21

Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?







16. 21

SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?

Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER






Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.

Scott begins to babble.


SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.



17. 22

SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.

Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.

Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?


JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...










SCOTT I dreaming?

22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE. 24. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A.

PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. SANDRA Some guy back in New York.. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. arms crossed.. Now. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. JULIE She just moved here.Flowers. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone. Got a job with Amazon. Aged 8” and yet. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. Comes into my work. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me. SCOTT Yeah. Stephen Stills is with her. Scott does not. .

INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. But I didn't want Scott to know that.yes. 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE .. Stephen. B A (CONTINUED) F T A ..

T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. JULIE Whatever. I don't know what it is about that girl. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. We hear the sound of arctic winds. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. 22 SCOTT Yeah. she justJULIE Scott. A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. . whoa. He’s totally dating a high schooler. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. Ramona is out of your league. SCOTT looks to KIM. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. let’s leave it at that. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. me and Kim are all good now.

From my dream. 20. that girl. WALLACE There he is. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams.. WALLACE You think he’s. and hey! There she is. F T (CONTINUED) A . 23 WALLACE You guess right. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT.. Wallace storms in... I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. SCOTT I think she’s. Okay.NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. WALLACE Library. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah... WIDE awake.. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. I don't know what it is about that girl.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT ..INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. SCOTT So. WALLACE Girl. Wallace flops onto the futon. landing next to Scott..

I should send out a mass text about this. who is out cold. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.high school.. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. 23 WALLACE Mmm. Wallace drifts off.up.. cellphone in hand. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) ...INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21.fake. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone.. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something.. Wallace.. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right. You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.. SCOTT Wait. Bye.. friend. Who told you? STACEY Duh. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. B A STACEY Well.. SCOTT What’s that? Break.girlfriend. RINGY RING! Scott answers. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace.

ca....THIS IS. SCOTT "Dear Mr... Moments pass. WALLACE Scott. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days. .Amazon..hmm. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring... T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE .. 23 SCOTT Wallace.this is. This is.. My name is Matthew Patel.. Scott sits at Wallace's computer. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon... how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O.. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon.) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright.” Scott walks to the front door.. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you. Pilgrim.S.

23 SCOTT Maybe.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A. It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest. WALLACE It's the weekend. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

Uh huh..DAY A . out of sync. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek.. SONIC BOOM . 26 EXT.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. B 25 INT. 23 DINGY DONG. That’s cute. PIZZA PIZZA .. Scott JUMPS to his feet. his thoughts elsewhere. still distracted. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring. SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23. Knives chows down on a slice. THE GOODWILL . Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. He plasters on his best fake smile. SCOTT Attack hug.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. Scott doesn't eat. SCOTT That's sucky.. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy.

26 KNIVES CHAU . SCOTT I tell ya'. B A F T A ..INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A..but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek.

B. THE ARCADE . STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE ..I. but he messes up..10. Scott winces.9. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday... Scott plays halfheartedly.INTEGRATED FINAL 24. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.... Knives BURSTS into frame. This is never easy.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on.8. Scott takes a deep breath. SCOTT I can never get past that guy..1..DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. KNIVES CHAU (O. On. And even better? It’s the T... KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott. side by side.2.S.squares up against Scott’s avatar. everybody. staring out..I think.. I think.. Scott tunes his bass. NegaNinja. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up.. A NEGANINJA . SCOTT Um.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off. (CONTINUED) .. The Rockit. 27 INT. alone by the window.. 3. Game. KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives.B. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh.. his timing off. 28 INT.

SCOTT Sure. This guy at work was like "Steve.) Crash and the Boys. KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. Great. man. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. She grabs Scott. It’ll be the cool kids won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. F Oh. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . Knives can barely contain herself.) Oh my gosh.. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win.. KNIVES CHAU (O. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.

I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.S. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A.S. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O.S. they suck.) Oh my gosh. .) Yeah.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one.

. down a row of LOCKERS leading to. SCOTT RAMONA No. He stares at himself in the mirror. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL .MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right.... Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. um.INTEGRATED FINAL 26. around a corner. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. I was thinking about asking you out.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. and you were in my dream.a long..the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY.. RAMONA Um. 30 INT.? 30 . Scott exits the bathroom. DINGY DONG. 29 INT.. that's okay. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door... I dreamt you were delivering me this package. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . BATHROOM . Scott runs after her. skating past Scott and down the hall.. A (CONTINUED) . You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up.. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. it's just like.. but then I realized how stupid that would be. entering. no. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces.

I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all.. Scott stands in awe of need to sign for this. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me. You’d be impressed. SCOTT But if I sign for it.. you'll leave.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. RAMONA You still have to sign.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27. SCOTT So. SCOTT Okay well.... 31 RAMONA Oh yeah. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. I was the other guy. RAMONA Yeah. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool. right? I've lived here forever. RAMONA You know. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. you're like American? RAMONA Why. That was some total ass.. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No. Noooooo. I mean. Not even. She gives him a pen. That's how it works. (CONTINUED) F T A .

The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. yeah. So. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line.if that's dream girl. . will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT know.. You assumed wrong. And throws the package straight in the trash. Oh.. 31 SCOTT You are like.INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28. RAMONA Well.NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. SCOTT Sorry. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom.. RAMONA I need to find a new route... Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um. PARK . I just assumed you were too cool to be on time. I'm totally waiting on you..

So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so.. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park.. SCOTT This is good. B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do. RAMONA This is good.. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs. F SCOTT Is Gideon.a friend. RAMONA He’ he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here. They sit on some swings in the park..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs... 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence.

. SCOTT Well. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time.. RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. Chilled as in cold. It’s weird. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. B A Um. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. RAMONA Yeah. SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. it’s certainly chilled here.. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. RAMONA Uh. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled.

SCOTT I feel so stupid. I can barely see you. . mostly stupid... we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. yeah. no. you’re probably not that stupid.. RAMONA Well.. A Tongue. The snowfall gets heavier.. You're too desperate to be gay. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly. Wallace is pretty gay. 34 SCOTT It’s. Laughing. SCOTT Yeah. I believe you. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date.. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. relax. night’s not over yet. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still... eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31.. Ramona walks away. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. SCOTT So this is a 'date'. Ramona hops off her swing.. RAMONA This is ridiculous. RAMONA Dude.. RAMONA Anyway. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm..

. I can’t see you.. I’m blind. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. I. SCOTT A door? I. Help me..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A..

SCOTT That would actually be awesome. Scott ventures upstairs. After a moment alone. T A (CONTINUED) .. green tea. constant comment and earl grey.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. I'm just.S. girl friendly apartment. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. green tea with lemon and honey.) Here. white truffle. green tea with lemon. RAMONA'S APARTMENT .. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness. 35 INT. What is that? B Ramona exits. raspberry. He wanders towards a half open door.cold! RAMONA (O. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing. vanilla almond.. SCOTT (O. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime. vanilla walnut. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt.. Ramona opens the door. liver disaster.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32.. He watches as she slips out of her coat.very warm. Pushing it open. sleepytime.S. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. ginseng. 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. ginger without honey. ginger with honey.) That's.) AAAH! Sorry. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry.S.. blueberry chamomile. does this help? SCOTT (O. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket.

were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess.not have tea. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him. A circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session.since we're so cold. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you.. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh.. Pilgrim.. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott..... And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.. RAMONA Well. revealing black panties to complement black bra... The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off.. smiling. Ramona breaks off.. Not right now. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33. RAMONA I changed my mind. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you. Scott is in heaven.what about our tea? SCOTT I can.... F T SCOTT Maybe. They look into each others eyes. Scott takes his shirt off. They tumble onto the bed and make out.maybe we should both get under it..kay. A (CONTINUED) .kay. You can sleep in my bed.

MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. Please come. and this is. RAMONA'S ROOM . Whatever this is.that was a joke. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. Ramona is gone. I didn't even get any.. Ramona skates towards the front gate.. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . 35 SCOTT This is cool. RAMONA I have to work. So. SCOTT Hey. thanks. Scott walking next to her... WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing. It's been like a really long time. just this.I think I needed this. Scott relaxes. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. B A 37 EXT. we're terrible.. SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. RAMONA You're welcome..oh. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. They exchange a smile. .


his social skills vanish. .INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. She hands him a note. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. SCOTT Oh. He’s chronically enfeebled. right back next to Scott. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters. THE ROCKIT .. He stands with Wallace and Stacey.. girl number. STACEY And this is Wallace. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. reaching Scott at the bar. Scott Pilgrim. WALLACE Hey. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. Ramona is already skating far. 212 664-7665. his room-mate. STACEY Excuse my brother.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop. Scott looks back up. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. I did totally come. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”..At The- “THE ROCKIT. RAMONA Hey. Scott is so amazed at her presence. hey! It’s tonight. far away.. B A F T 38 INT. I’m Stacey.

We hear feedback from a mic onstage. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have. Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. He didn’t even see Knives come in. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. Stacey stares at Scott.S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys. 39 INT. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. wearing makeup and new clothes. wake up.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36.uh. THE ROCKIT. He pushes her away. Scott scurries off. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. Scott’sScott goes white. wake up. People love us. Go.. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . The sound guy hated us. PROMOTER (O. Wallace stares at Jimmy. For sound check. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. BACKSTAGE .CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. To. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. SCOTT I.. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey.. Knives looks kinda sexy. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare.. STILLS We were just on stage.

TRASHA.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. I am Crash.04 seconds. 8 year old girl drummer.INTEGRATED FINAL 37.. .." And it goes a little something like this. Jimmy. WALLACE That was a test." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad. TOO? CRASH Yes. gives Wallace the finger.haven't started playing yet.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . and it's called "We Hate You. WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY. F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. A41 INT. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. 40 INT. Please Die. Kim glowers. You passed. THE ROCKIT. Wallace yells from the balcony. THE ROCKIT. Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. STAGE . BACKSTAGE . STAGE . I am so very very sad. and these are the Boys. CRASH Thank you.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. WALLACE Jimmy. THE ROCKIT.

B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A. B A F T A .

He's a friend. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT.. THE ROCKIT. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE.CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. 43 INT... 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. These guys are good.INTEGRATED FINAL 38. Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever.CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage. STACEY So Knives. The audience are stunned. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. . He has so many friends.. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. STAGE . It'll be our last song tonight and your last song STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. BACKSTAGE . THE ROCKIT. Stacey turns to Ramona. BALCONY .CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes. A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience". 41 INT. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. BACKSTAGE .

they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic. THE ROCKIT. ANGLE on Knives. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. 45 INT. TWO.. STAGE . PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott. BACKSTAGE . FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out. THE ROCKIT. KNIVES CHAU Well. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT.. staring at the stage.. She faints in the excitement. F (CONTINUED) .INTEGRATED FINAL 39.CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole.. So give it up for Sex.. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face. THE reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. ONE......CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony. Scott nods vigorously. sees Stacey talking to Knives. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.yeah.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE. I was on the bus with my MomKnives ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. BALCONY .

Matthew Patel. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. Pilgrim. It is I. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! .. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. Alright.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott. Pilgrim. FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. SCOTT Thank you. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. Consider our fight.. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle.. They land in THE PIT. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. Patel LANDS like a cat..

then holds his hand up for a time-out. Scott blocks. Scott blocks.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Patel punches. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

After a week and a half. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks. Scott jump-spins away from danger. probably in the entire state. all the little jocks wanted me. Scott evades and counter-attacks. . until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. They exchange furious blows. Scott looks up to Ramona. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. We only kissed once. landing kicks and punches. non-jock boy in school. then lands more punches. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. We were one hell of a team. They pause. Matthew was the only non-white. I told him to hit the showers. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. in the seventh grade. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. breathing heavy.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. Patel evades.

INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.

B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. POOF. It hits Patel square in the eyes. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. you’re not the brightest. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. Scott rolls across the stage. Patel levitates into the air. narrowly dodging the attack. wait. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me.mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. Scott hits the ground. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. 47 SCOTT Dude. Maybe you’ll see. He flips back onto the stage.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. SCOTT Open your eyes. Scott dodges. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs.. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him.. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. dodging a third wave of fireballs. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick.

He explodes into COINS. They clatter to the stage floor. Scott lands and picks them up. SCOTT Sweet. 47 K. 48 INT.O! Scott punches Patel. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . THE ROCKIT. Passes Stacey. BALCONY . Coins.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast.

CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) . STAGE . SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT. clapping wildly from the balcony.. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. Tell your gay friends I said bye.. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date. $2. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes. Ramona takes a breath....CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. 50 INT.. 48 RAMONA Well.. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's.but he is long gone. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives. SCOTT Aw like. BALCONY . THE ROCKIT..INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43..40? That's not even enough for the bus home. Ramona yanks Scott away. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. THE ROCKIT. PROMOTER Yeah. The Promotor ambles back onstage. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. who is being resuscitated by Tamara. it was great meeting you. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott. Sex Bob-Omb wins. THE BUS . I guess.

someone got to second base last night. Scott bursts through the front door. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much.. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. The studio audience 'awwww's. what you're saying is. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then. SCOTT Well.. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat. SCOTT So. B WALLACE Someone’s happy. And someone has a second date tonight. Scott kisses Ramona.. right? I got to second base last night. Do you want to make out? Uh.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44. 52 53 OMITTED INT. SCOTT Cool. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. I guess. a spring in his step.. I mean me. .. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. The studio audience applauds.maybe first and a half. yes.

. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives. I don't want you gaying up the place. F SCOTT But're... SCOTT But. WALLACE If you don't do it.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45. so you can't be here tonight. Scott. Today.. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. SCOTT You’re a monster. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon.. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly. If you have a problem with it. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost... I swear to God.. WALLACE Okay. SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine.but.. T A . WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner.You have to break up with Knives. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. hey.'s HARD. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy.

(MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. 53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.

SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . SCOTT So. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone.S. hey. LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. I am stalking him later. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O. The next click is me hanging up... Knives. KNIVES CHAU (O. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. 54 EXT. Surprising no one. do you want to. bucko. Wallace turns the television way up. SCOTT You suck. B A Ummm. Um.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? .. like.. Uh.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone me pulling the trigger. Hi... 46. SCOTT Oh. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing. The one after that. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller.okay.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now.

. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town... SCOTT And. just so bad. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. really. Like.and....INTEGRATED FINAL 47.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist.. It's my birthday dinner. SCOTT Like.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder.I think that's a really bad idea. to meet my parents. 55 INT. Chinese food? Yeah.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah. I'm in. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. SONIC BOOM . KNIVES CHAU No... pounding inside Scott's head. T (CONTINUED) A . Well.. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah. it's okay. KNIVES CHAU Oh. I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom. B A SCOTT Uh. It’s not my favorite. hey.

listen. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop. the word actually appears onscreen. Scott brushes it away.I was thinking we should break up or whatever.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A. 55 Knives is so smitten. B A (CONTINUED) F T A ... SCOTT Um.

SCOTT Aw. thanks.. 56 57 INT/EXT. thinking about Knives. 57 SCOTT Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48. KIM PINE Wait.EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. We broke up. 56 INT. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles. THE BUS / RECORD STORE .. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. thinks of something in shock. I meant scum of the earth. broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) . 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. YOUNG NEIL You.. SCOTT Aw. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. Kim and Stills share a look. a little happier. leaving Knives in the aisle. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune. her funky pink hair. thanks.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone.'s not going to work out. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2. KIM PINE Scott. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT .. you are the salt of the earth..

Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah. RAMONA’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . Stills unplugs Scott’s amp... no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. I just dyed it. weirded out by this hair development. Kim. that’s. SCOTT It’s all blue. but don’t worry. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. We were lucky to survive that last round. Young Neil.. RAMONA Yes. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. RAMONA Hey everyone. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. Kim mimes shooting herself. This is sudden death now.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon.. whether they’re old. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. 57 SCOTT Yeah. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. now sporting BLUE HAIR. new or new-new... B A Scott ushers her in. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. Like you said. this is Stephen Stills. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it.

INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

58 Ramona lounges. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. Cool. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil.. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. what about rehearsal? 58 INT. dude. I actually dated Scott in high school. YOUNG NEIL .NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half.. SCOTT Okay. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. Starts ushering Ramona out again. Get used to it. Scott fake laughs. good.. KIM PINE Believe it or not. See you guys tomorrow. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. SCOTT She changed her hair. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. Ramona goes to the bathroom. (to Sex Bob-Omb) do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. He’s an idiot. preparing food as Wallace looks on. reading a magazine. Good..uh. KIM PINE Yeah. Scott drops the act.


picnic style. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. come find me at the Castle. Impulsive. Ramona returns. Scott stops Wallace at the door. 58 SCOTT I know. good. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. with a panicked whisper. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. Oh my god. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. SCOTT Don’t go. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. She’s spontaneous. A (CONTINUED) . Good. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. if you strike out in the next hour. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. See you in sixty. “when”. Fickle. Wallace pulls on a jacket. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah.

Or just all the time without even stopping. Ooooh. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. Ra-ra-ra. Ra-mona. Ra-mona. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. Mona. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Mona. Ramona is taken aback. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair. A (CONTINUED) . B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. Ra-ra-ra. SCOTT No. Ra-mona. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. it goes like this: Ra-mona. I could honestly eat it for every meal. RAMONA You'd get fat.

RAMONA Your hair is cute.. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps.. Earl Jones deep... Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears.. I like it long. NARRATOR She dumped him. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. But it’s so long ago. T A . sorry. Then..INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time. No. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in.she stopped liking me. three hours before his big breakup. 58 SCOTT Ha.. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. she told me it was mutual. It was. It’s just that I got.. SCOTT Not really. But she stopped liking that name. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since.. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT. It was brutal. NARRATOR It wasn’t. I can barely remember it.

unless you do.. ENDLESS STAIRWAY . A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle.. Let’s find out. Not that I do drugs. but. Putting one leg in front of the other. I just.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. 59 RAMONA You seem a make me feel.. B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA.. .. who? SCOTT I forget.I don't know. RAMONA Oh. every drug. bright movie set lights. long handrail between them..heightened. They’re shooting this movie up here. in which case I do drugs all the time.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. I don’t know. as if crossing a magical line. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. F SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. I just love me some walking. 59 EXT. a castle surrounded by big. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. T A SCOTT Nooo. Things seem a little brighter around you or something. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk.

RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. I am not a slut. RAMONA Oh.D. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. man. RAMONA Ooh. CASA LOMA . T (CONTINUED) A . WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. He skates towards the set. We gotta go. FIRST A. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. doing kickflips.INTEGRATED FINAL 55. including Wallace. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. The spectators go “oooh”. Mr. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. 60 EXT. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. B A What? Why? Slut.

. SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal.. who gasps.God. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode.. who remains oblivious. . 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade. LUCAS LEE dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade. Actually.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott.. RAMONA He just followed me around. SCOTT Oh. Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON.. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott. it might have been math. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. He was a little snot nosed brat.. SCOTT ... I just remember there being lots of drama. We had drama.

Evil ex. SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. flooring him. Fight. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. WALLACE Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. wobbly. . 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. crumbling it. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. He nods to Ramona. How’s life? He seems nice.

Suddenly. A . The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. Tae Kwon Doe style. Scott stands to fight the double. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble. hey. LUCAS LEE He’s good.. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic..) Looks like you’re seeing double.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are.S. SCOTT Hey. punchy. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. Lucas Lee wanders off.) Mr. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. He slides across the wet-down ground. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee.. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. SCOTT (O. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again.S. Scott staggers to his feet.. smirking on the sidelines. all identically dressed.

Scott smiles through his aching jaw. Let’s get a beer. framed through the torn skyline. SCOTT You’re needed back on set. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. Lucas offers a hand. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) .. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. bro.. LUCAS LEE Prepare. . LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP.. well then don't worry about it. shocked to see Scott. Scott goes to shake it. Lucas stomps over to him. 60 Lucas turns.. SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah... Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. preparing for the deathblow.

SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. very impressed at Lucas.. F T A (CONTINUED) . Big fan. Lucas pulls down his shirt. a perfect ollie onto the rail. SCOTT Wow. I have my own skate company. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight. SCOTT So you can sell them. ese... bro. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board.. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. WALLACE Hi. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL.. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. impressed at Lucas.HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.. if it’s too hardcore. SCOTT Hey. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. revealing a skate company tattoo.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59.. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. HSSSSSSSSS.. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard.

. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph. WALLACE Wow.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. he totally bailed. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott smacks his forehead. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. HSSSSSSSSS.. Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs. 60 SCOTT Wow.

F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No. RAMONA is not available.that’s a wrap everybody. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Scott again.. Uh. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. Call me back. Scott Pilgrim. It’s me. phone pressed to his ear. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. please record your message after the beep. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). A Scott slumps on the couch. she totally bailed. SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. you said that last night.. It was right under your nose. 61 INT. 60 FIRST A.D. T SCOTT Hey. 212 664-7665. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. .

B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . I need you to move out. A SEXY. Scott slides to the floor. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. it’s “love”. guy. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls. Look. Break out the L-word. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. you have to fight for it. then you have to let her know. Either way. Step up your game. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. RINGY RING. You have the spirit of a warrior. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. Scott. WALLACE If you want something bad..S. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. completely shocked at this bombshell. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. SCOTT WALLACE Okay..INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. Scott picks up.) Hey Scott. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. VOICE (O. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor.


62. 61

SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?

SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?


Uh. No.

ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)


SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.




63. 61

SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.

WALLACE Or does it?

Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.

Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.

Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62

Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62


Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.


KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?


WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?



Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.


63A. 62

WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.






SHWAA . SCOTT Okay. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him. am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. Hits SOMETHING. but I just cashed my last raincheck. Prepare to die. She spins to face Scott.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. darlin’. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. T SCOTT Listen. 62 SHFFF . This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. I’ve had it today. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone. technically this is not a nightmare. He’s pissed now. obviously. SCOTT Wait. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. .

STACEY (O. SCOTT Well. STACEY (O. SCOTT It’s Scott. But you won’t see me. it’s Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. SCOTT Oh man.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A . baffled. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. I’m really.S.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No. Whatever it is.the Mystery Attacker vanishes. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. It’s actually me. BLOOR STREET . 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. Scott is in his usual payphone. Someone help me. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. really not up for this. Scott looks to the sky.S. dialing Stacey frantically. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. then I’ll see you later.

(CONTINUED) . Are you still working? 65.S. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. And by the way. Stacey has her back turned. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". Scott turns back to Julie. not happy. 63 STACEY (O. mouthing that she has to go. revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. Stacey turns around. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter.) I’m literally about to leave. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. THE SECOND CUP . I’m coming in. SCOTT Cool.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'.

She looks at the floor. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA.. Listen." The icy.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. 23. You kind of disappeared. A . I want to hang. They share an awkward moment. I know it's early days. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. RAMONA Yeah. "ENVY ADAMS. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. No biggie. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into. No. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. I do that. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott.. (CONTINUED) A Exes. SCOTT Yeah.. SCOTT No. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night..

F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT.excuse me. You’re so on the list. I’m jealous. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. Ramona goes to order coffee. . You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. RAMONA I’m gonna.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT Yeah. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. so totally come. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. ENVY Great. You guys should like. I know. ENVY Okay.. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods..

SCOTT I can see how it sucks. That didn’t end well either. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. sipping their coffees.. that was Envy. you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. RAMONA And two weeks later. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . That. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. Ramona returns. 65 SCOTT No.. 65 EXT. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically. Having the past come back to haunt you. About. This guy Todd.what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So.. F T RAMONA So..that was Nat? . RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. How.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side.

INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A. 65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

Ramona lounges on the couch.. Scott and Young Neil. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. 66 Scott stands (no pants). Ramona stops and kisses him.INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) . From this moment on. B A Word.. Mm. Move on. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now.NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. SCOTT Double negative. Music swells. SCOTT Right. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. Tricky. 66 INT. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over.

The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night. And Envy asked us to open for them. STEPHEN STILLS No. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT.EVENING B A Yeah. We need groundswell. SCOTT Yeah. Is a gig. pressed against the window. We need stalkers. 67 SCOTT I hate you. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. DRUG SMART . We need to get some buzz going. for the band? For the band. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone.. You know. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face. . STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig.. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday.

(CONTINUED) ..INTEGRATED FINAL 71.. Knives throws a long scarf on. eyes narrowing. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. This is all her fault. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. 68A INT..EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair. so he tried to find someone cool but old. looking sexy. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young. this really good.I look so. KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl. KNIVES’ BATHROOM .EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool.

PUSH into Knives. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back.Sold out’. Tamara pops into frame. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you.CONTINUOUS A 70 . Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go. LEE'S PALACE . A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD . 71 71 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. She knows we suck. But I know how to get him back. Now.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. drunk. LEE’S PALACE . TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. F T 70 INT. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. LEE’S PALACE . as she plots. Ramona excuses herself. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. We were Sex Bob-Omb.NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. Bar. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay.

clothes and makeup. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. 72 INT. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. LEE'S PALACE . RAMONA Hey. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. SCOTT Briefly. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. 17. Briefly. "KNIVES CHAU..INTEGRATED FINAL 73. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher. Or is it. LEE'S PALACE. LADIES BATHROOM . confused. Scott breaks into a cold sweat.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. Knives follows. F T . A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits..MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. looking hot. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. standing next to Ramona. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er.

revealing a stunning figure. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. You know? Oh yeah. He’s alone. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. (sing songy) Peee time. ENVY in a long black coat.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee.. LEE’S PALACE . Oh yeah.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. Envy lets her coat slip off. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. "TODD INGRAM. striking ROCK GOD figure. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her.. (turns beet red) I mean.. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. A I know. (CONTINUED) . SPOOKY MUSIC begins. 25. EVIL-EX #3. Knives screams her teen brains out.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light.. I gotta pee. Stares at Scott.MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD. MENS BATHROOM .. SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd. he cuts a handsome. no longer shrouded in dry ice..” and “Who. Pee time. 75 INT. LEE’S PALACE.


Everyone else feels. They’re so much better live. RAMONA Hey Todd. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. RAMONA Mmm hmm. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA . Envy. TODD INGRAM Been a while. LEE’S PALACE. YOUNG NEIL Man. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up.. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage. you have to see them live. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. Just oh my God.“AWKWARD”. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. Oh. Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. Envy burns a hole through Scott. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this..

in general? T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah. Stephen. it’s not something I can really put into words. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. JULIE Ramona lived in New York. She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives.Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple... I like your outfit Ramona. you know? You suit each other. You know him. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here.Envy? I read your blog. KNIVES CHAU Um. ENVY I was just there. Envy. ENVY So.. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now. cute couple. ENVY Just saying.. Did you get those jeans in New York.

She is about to answer when. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .Knives stands up.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A... 77 Scott looks at Ramona.

TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word. ENVY You’re incorrigible. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet.your hair. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. SCOTT KK.. I’m not afraid to hit a girl..yy. Hair. I’m a rock star. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. Scott hovers. Todd sits back down like nothing happened. Scott boils. TODD INGRAM That’s right. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives. Her. 77 Envy nods at Todd. Out.. Young Neil escorts Knives out. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. JULIE So. Of.. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK. grasping his neck. choking. Todd smirks... Her hair is black and plain as before. you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd.. SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid..

SCOTT If I peed my pants. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby.. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall. TODD INGRAM Bingo. Ramona helps Scott to his feet.. He moans in pain. SCOTT No kidding. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. if you knew the science. He tries to keep cool.. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well.vegan. despite being in a lot of pain.anyone can be. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. Scott sails out of shot and into space. While the others bicker. question. T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags.. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. I always wondered. A (CONTINUED) .


RAMONA Look. A brief.O. I guess that’s not very nice. It was pretty crazy.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd. RAMONA (V. Scott can only fixate on one aspect. but I used to be kind of. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona.. A (CONTINUED) .O. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. RAMONA (V.) A week and a half later.O. 77 SCOTT Oh. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch. We wrecked stuff.O. I was really hoping to put it all behind me. It’s pretty crazy.) We hated everyone. RAMONA ( that.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. RAMONA (V. It’s part of the reason I moved here. Nobody cared. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends. so I dumped him.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. Nobody cares..

.. Right? ENVY Basically.. We hear a distant CRUMP. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. SCOTT You used to be so. Stills calls through the hole. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.dislike you. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80..dust..nice! F Um. I and he! Scott stands up . And the cleaning lady. Scott CHARGES at Todd. SCOTT He and me..sort of ready for another round. ‘cos Todd is going to kill you.. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. call us when you’re done.. T SCOTT A SCOTT I.. She dusts.. so. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday.cleans up.. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. B A SCOTT Sorry. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona . STEPHEN STILLS Uh.Monday.ready for another round. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business.

INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. 77 ENVY Oh. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . he’ll be done real soon.

picking the hell out of his bass. I actually know how to play bass. LEE’S PALACE. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. Todd floats toward him. Todd calls to a roadie. I know. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. savoring the kill. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. fauxhawk rising. baby. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. ENVY Sorry. Envy grins at Ramona. Envy appears beside him with a smirk. Pilgrim. 78 INT. He hovers next to him. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. 79 (CONTINUED) . You’re through. Todd LEVITATES.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts. amp pegged to 10. The good one. shredding him into oblivion. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. cringing. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. Crummy way to end things. Suddenly. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. floating towards Scott with his bass. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. wicked. LEE'S PALACE . Your bass hand is badly injured. Scott turns around on his knees. Scott crashes into a backstage food table.

but that's pathetic. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 79 ENVY I’m sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A.

TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. Thanks. in my mind's eye or whatever. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. I'll take the one with soy. no vegan powers. tool. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. A . but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th. takes one of the cups and drinks. on February 1st. SCOTT Actually.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82..m. 7:30 p. Todd floats to the ground. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book.m. bitch. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. You know. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. I poured soy in this cup. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half. you knowingly ingested Gelato.

TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him. Ramona follows. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD.. sorry I guess. Now let’s get out of here. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. Natalie. disgusted. shooting Envy a look on the way out. Envy stares. ENVY No one calls me that anymore.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. 79 Envy gasps. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. jaw ajar. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. Julie pops into shot. Envy blinks. F SCOTT Uh. in shock.. So I guess we’re even. SCOTT Maybe they should. I know. (CONTINUED) .

I am so pissed off for you right now. A (CONTINUED) . WALLACE Envy Adams. It’s an odd mood. ENVY Shut the fuck up. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. I liked him. That Todd guy was cool too. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. Stills coughs. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys.oh.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. 79 JULIE For the record.. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. And hot. you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. I think a third of the band just went “poom”. on the fringes. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh.. Julie. PIZZA PIZZA . RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. KIM PINE Then why would we. Ramona and Scott. 80 INT. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices.

lagging behind. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. AFTER PARTY . Scott takes another bite. RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. B 81 EXT. So let’s go. He shrugs. Hey. Scott limps a bit.NIGHT A Oh. Yet. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. Ramona falls back with him.. not with fists. Ooh.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. WALLACE I mean. we can totally go.. Oh. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. Other Scott whispers to Wallace. so. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT .

? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . I’m fine.. I’m fine.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A. 81 SCOTT No.. It’s justRAMONA It’s just.


86. 81

SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?

SCOTT that good?

SCOTT But not...later?

SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82




RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.


RAMONA It’s what I need right now.


RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.


87. 82

RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.

SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.

They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?

We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.

They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.


That’s it?

RAMONA And what about you and Kim?

SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.


SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.



RAMONA And was she cool with that?


88. 82

Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.

SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.

PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?



SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA

SCOTT Why do you keep saying-


RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.


In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.


Roxy flips out of the hold..she.. F T A (CONTINUED) . ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North.talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. does she know me.. B A ROXY Well honey. no one can. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE.. The League hath 82 ROXY Oh boy. SCOTT What. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. The girls square off. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you.” RAMONA It was just a phase. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here.. ROXY Back off hasbian. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious. 23. If Gideon can’t have you.. clearing the busy dance floor. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face.

RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. With blinding speed. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. He’s a creep. F WALLACE Oh yeah. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. It smashes a speaker. The belt wraps around it. you slag. ROXY Give it a rest. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. She BLOCKS with the hammer. Ramona. leaving a dent in it. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. this is live? Uh huh. RAMONA Believe it. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. This is a League game.

ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Or possibly feet.

.. Some sooner than others.. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room.. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. RAMONA Whenever we were making out.never. Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends.. ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. Roxy falls. She staggers. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. She grins at Ramona. still in the splits. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. winces.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. . ROXY Fight your own battles. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. He lands HARD on the floor. RAMONA You don’t have a choice. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. They’re soft. kicking them apart with the splits. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh.

a wave of gossip spreading around the room. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott. 82 The party starts up again.

RAMONA Sooooo. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Two gin and tonics please. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one. Looks hurt.. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. Scott has already downed his second drink. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. RAMONA I really think we should split. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. She touches her hair. Ramona tries to lighten things. SCOTT Only on special occasions.. Ramona follows tentatively. The gossip echoes around them. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information.

Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A.

there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. You.S. Scott looks at the list. In fact I’m sick of it. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. RICHTER. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. RAMONA (CONT’D) P.NIGHT B A But then .. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass. A (CONTINUED) . GIDEON. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared.” 83 INT.Ramona returns. I thought you might be more understanding. Here’s your stupid list. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. KATAYANAGI TWINS.. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. INGRAM. LEE. You’re drunk. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink. RAMONA Dirty laundry. Ramona exits proper. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. It reads“PATEL.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. Ramona leaves.


94. 83

We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.

STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.


EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...


STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84


SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.


SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.



94A. 84

Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.







95. 84

STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?

SCOTT That’s impossible85


Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.

KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.

Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.







STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?


. Scott.THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. Scott and Stills get into battle position. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him.) They brought the house down. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice.. leaving a huge hole in the roof. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right.. 23. ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. 23. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. Can we do this? I mean.S.. They are chatting. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. KEN KATAYANAGI. Scott turns bleak again. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. Now an open air venue. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96... KYLE KATAYANAGI. (CONTINUED) . sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands. She is totally there. is very serious and Japanese. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. She looks happy.. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. SNOW falls onto the stage. we can do this.. A wall of FEEDBACK builds. is serious and very Japanese. The crowd cheers.

This is GIDEON GRAVES. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. SCOTT here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. Scott. For once. Kyle looks at Ken. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. He struggles to his feet.. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. SCOTT Gideon. T A (CONTINUED) .. ASSHOLE.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. then helps Kim up. comes in heavy on the kick drum. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. 37. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. they sound awesome. We’re done. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. They share a nod.

.. RAMONA Yeah. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. SCOTT Getting a life. Scott follows. different. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. SCOTT You seem. Knives watches him go. I have something I need to tell you. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS. different.. hovering next to Scott.was epic.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. What are you doing? ..INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. The crowd goes bazooky. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building. I’m not even stalking you. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. but she and Gideon are gone. SCOTT Ramona. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. He can’t find Ramona. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd.. eyes narrowing.. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. 86 EXT. SCOTT Ramona. THE NINTH CIRCLE .

really mean it. And I want you to know. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. . 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. Listen. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. I don’t care about any of that stuff.

.. B A Bob-omb. Okay..INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99. Ramona looks at the floor. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. The Lincoln parks. Stills is ga-ga. is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs.) That’s the bad news. I just. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. VOICE (O. Oh okay. T RAMONA It’s Gideon. Scottie... 86 RAMONA Oh. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind.. captioned “PEE”. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all.I can’t help myself around him. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. A (CONTINUED) .S. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes. GIDEON GRAVES You know. I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. Scott glowers. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch. A driver opens the passenger's not going to work out. GIDEON GRAVES The good news.

INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A. 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge. buddy. but if it wasn’t for you. SCOTT Nuh-uh. can I just say. Scott stands alone. So I guess it all shakes out. we should really be thanking each other. you would have never been with Ramona. GIDEON And hey. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. A meek Young Neil slides into view. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. before trying to hand it back to Scott. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. A cough. she wouldn’t be back with me. There are hand shakes all round. keep your emotions in check. Kim shrugs and signs it too. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100. A . Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. bass in hand. GIDEON Oh and Scott. if it wasn’t for me. I mean. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. Scott.

. A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona.. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 87 INT. Scott tries desperately to think positive. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car.INTEGRATED FINAL 100A. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN .. thinking about Ramona....NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone...

did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. Over PITCH BLACK.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. Gets a shock.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. Scott remains in the exact same position. Well that’s not so bad. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings. Day turns to night. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT.. gives Scott a hug. THE PARK ..with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean. Stacey heads off. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole.. staring straight ahead. Flicks the light on. 88 INT.. little brother. F T A STACEY (O. “THONK”. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . STACEY Time heals all wounds. Night turns to day. SCOTT Seven.S.NIGHT Scott enters. Scott looks at the camera. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. 88 B A STACEY Oh.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) .S.

S. T .S. WALLACE Ah. SCOTT She’s with Gideon.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk.S.) Sorry.S. But I need my own bed tonight. That sucks. and I apologize for that. 88 WALLACE (O. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). WALLACE (O.) It’s Chris. Scott sits in the chair. you know I love you. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. I get it. But you know. SCOTT And the year. A Right. 89 INT. SCOTT (O. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . For sex. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head.) It’s Chris. VOICE (O. wrapped in a blanket. it’s probably just because he’s better than you.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102. WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too.S. Right.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O.) Or someone.

89 Scott nods.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. Scott nods. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair.

SOME GUY It’s for Scott. T A Thanks.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. pal. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay. Scott stares at the phone. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask. I think this fight is over.) Hey. I don’t want any hard feelings. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. Scott nods. GIDEON'S LAIR . B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know.S. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . INT. SCOTT (O. it’s gonna be alright. 89 WALLACE Either way.S.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. Are you with me? RAMONA (O. He calls off. SCOTT RINGY RING. 91 (CONTINUED) .S. Some guy picks up.) Yeah.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. F GIDEON GRAVES (O.

Whatever. STREETS OF TORONTO .) What a perfect asshole. SCOTT (grim) Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. What do you say? . HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. SCOTT Mm.S) Sure you did.) I hope so. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. Maybe I’ll see you there. leaning against a warehouse wall.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. alarmed. 92 EXT. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. Scott turns. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. B Password? Scott shrugs. Click. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there.S. Well as you know. HIPSTER KID Cool.S. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. Finish him. amigo.

INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator.NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. 93 INT. B A F T A . Scott steps into the elevator. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. HIPSTER KID Cool. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug. So far so good. WAREHOUSE .

COMEAU holds court among them. welcome to the Chaos Theatre.. their first album is so much better than their first album. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. wearing identical outfits. CHAOS THEATRE . All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. skinny jeans. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink.. YOUNG NEIL on bass. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. COMEAU Yeah. then you’re doomed. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy. Chuck Taylors. STEPHEN STILLS Well. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. 94 INT. SCOTT What if I have a beef. now using SWEET BRAND amps.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT..S. Ramona kneels at his side. (CONTINUED) . looking up at his former bandmates. They are legion. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go.the CHAOS THEATRE..with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O. Don’t give him the satisfaction.

Ramona looks away from Scott. whatever. flexes.. Gideon loses his cool. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. A new power comes over Scott. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. Scott gets into a fighting stance. League. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving.O. I’m in love with her. (CONTINUED) . The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. It’s ancient history.buddy. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. Gideon smiles. Gideon stands up.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106...) Scott earned the power of love. NARRATOR (V. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. buddy.. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona.

He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. 18 YEARS OLD. Gideon chuckles. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. we are here to make money. to administer a final blow. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless.. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. Gideon approaches..) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. and sell out and stuff. Then from above. exploding each attacker into COINS. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. She lands awkwardly. Scott looks to Knives.S. He slashes at them to the beat. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. both concerned and amazed.. Scott hits the ground HARD. My cane. ON BEAT. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. Kim clicks out a fast tempo. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. Gideon raises his sword. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. by the way. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. SCOTT Your club sucks. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. rolling to a stop.. “KNIVES CHAU. (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU (O.

distracted by his duelling exes. your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. He was warned plenty of times. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. separating them. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. throwing blocks and punches. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. Kung Pao Chicken. T A (CONTINUED) . Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. I didn’t steal anyone. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. KUNG FU STYLE. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively.

. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott. but you can’t..death. .. I dated you and then I dated Ramona. neither amused... He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. Knives. Okay? (beat) I mean. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white. rubbing his temples...DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus.Scott's eyes blink open. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground. With you. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody. but. 95 EXT.cheat. THE DREAM DESERT .SAND blows through frame.maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away... KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me.S. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us... You can cheat on these ladies all you want.... GIDEON (O. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott..

B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A. fainter than before. Ramona appears out of nowhere. 95 SCOTT Ugh.

T A (CONTINUED) . RAMONA No. Seeing as I’m about to die. eh? B A SCOTT Well. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. I was crazy about him.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. has a way of getting into my head.. That’s why I had to leave. SCOTT Well. SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. the truth is. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody. RAMONA Alright. he literally has a way of getting into my head. Scott. But he ignored me. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated... Dying probably sucks. self-consciously touching her hair... SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy. Ramona covers the chip. maybe now would be the time to get into it. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. RAMONA He’s like that.. it was me who was obsessed. and that’s when he started paying attention. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him. I mean. that’s legitimately disappointing.. SCOTT That is evil.. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. He just. I really will leave you alone forever now.

I really fought for you back there.. RAMONA Uh-huh... WALLACE'S APARTMENT . as Scott enters. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD. DA-DING. Scott slumps to his knees. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. SCOTT . He flicks the light on. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around alone. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart. Ramona seeming to fade away. I guess. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. SCOTT So.. .. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111.. Ramona is gone.. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. The winds blow harder. A Ahhhhhh. We had a good run.. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. 96 INT.

.. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call. a call I considered refusing. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp.AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. enemies. Gideon Graves.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. So I did.) Scott. On PITCH BLACK. allies. B A Um. Sadly. There were tests.S. I was living in an ordinary world.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. I was just about toSCOTT Hey.. But before I do that. SCOTT Wallace.. guy. that’s you..S.S.) Sure thing. I need to ask one final favor of you. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. But my Mentor. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. during which I totally seized the sword. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. I don’t want any hard feelings. GIDEON GRAVES (O. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling. WALLACE (O.) Again? WALLACE (O.S. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. Chaos Theatre. when my journey began. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. hands him the phone.. GIDEON GRAVES (O. 96 SCOTT . I died. pal.S.) F T A (CONTINUED) . I feel terrible about everything.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. exposing his junk. Scott hangs up and heads for the door. hardcore.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. sorry. 96 SCOTT Sorry. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”.

. WAREHOUSE . CHAOS THEATRE . 97 EXT. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. SCOTT Don’t worry. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall. deadpan as ever.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113. COMEAU Yeah. Young Neil? You have learned well. Stephen.. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go. STREETS OF TORONTO . you shall be known as “Neil”. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . the new line-up rocks. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me.CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE..DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES.AGAIN. You guys sound better without me. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. From this point forward.everything. Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces..DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. knocking them out. 99 INT. 96 SCOTT You seen one.. Kim shrugs. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever. I know what I’m doing. 98 INT.. SCOTT Your hair looks stupid.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A.

Ramona and Scott lock eyes. Ramona at his side. backs to each other. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. let’s do it.) Scott earned the power of self-respect.I want to fight you for me. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. the club sucks. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. They land on opposite sides of the platform. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona.S. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. You’re pretentious. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) .O. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. He unsheathes his SWORD. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. different than before. My cane. Scott goes straight into fight mode. LEAPING in the air. T SCOTT No. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114... AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. A strange new power overcomes Scott. exploding each attacker into COINS. SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick. I have beef.

Dead. apparently. Scott calls out. 99 Gideon falls down.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .

Knives steps back. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk.. RAMONA Never felt better. Scott turns to Ramona.'re not a fat ass. taste my steel. The CHIP no longer blinks. but still grinning. I cheated on you. I was a different guy back then. All turn to see GIDEON. She kicks him in the face. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. SCOTT No. GIDEON GRAVES (O. They square off. Knives pulling KNIVES. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. Scott GRABS her wrists. SCOTT (CONT'D) And. bloodied. KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. Knives. And I’m sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. Ramona staggered.S. hands held out. Scott jumps between them.. I hurt you. So.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. She didn’t mean that. Ramona rubs the back of her head. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No.

B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott steps into a fighting stance. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. GIDEON Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. 99 SCOTT Oh. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. you got a fight alright. Knives joins him. the three of them ready to rumble.

Gideon swings at Scott. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Gideon jumps after him. Ramona KICKS. his HEALTH BAR increases. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES.his glasses glow.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. You’re still my girl. baby. The swords create an “X”. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. They CLASH in the air. Gideon BLOCKS. Knives throws her knives. They fence. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Scott leaps in the air. takes a hesitant step towards him. . Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . They barely dodge him. disarms Scott with one move. Gideon spins again and swings upward. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. Knives attacks and scores a hit. Gideon BLOCKS. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. Gideon spins low. Gideon hits her back. He grins. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. He shakes off the assault and grins. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. Knives whips off her scarf. dropping her. SCOTT ATTACKS. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Scott ducks. He cuts big arcs at Scott. expecting her to move. Knives and Ramona. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. knocking her down. She looks doubtful. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him.

I’m what’s happening. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. You’re zero. Me? I’m what’s hip. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact.. sending him spinning. She lands painfully at the bottom. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid.. A pain in my ass. she kicks him in the back of the head. Knives and Scott share a look. One lens of his glasses cracks.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A. 99 Scott lands hard. They Get up and circle Gideon. Not long now. From the floor. You’re nothing. defeated. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. I’m blowing up right now. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. (CONTINUED) .

Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. The coin rain continues. KIM PINE There goes our deal. Gideon’s head EXPLODES. makes her way towards them. Oh. RAMONA (O. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. right? Kim points to the falling coins. Ramona.) You two make a good combo. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) .S.. You are blowing up. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. YOUNG NEIL Whoa.. awake now. And you got another thing right.. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. 99 SCOTT You’re right. Scott and Knives kiss. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. Right now.. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid. They share a smile.

. He’s a super-nice guy. nothing. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps...yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face. Knives and Ramona.. B Scott strolls out with Negascott. They look expectantly at the entrance. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw.. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . Then.. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. We just shot the shit. The glasses GLIMMER.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118. worried for Scott. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes.. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses. THE WAREHOUSE . This is something I have to face on my own.. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona.but can you defeat. shake hands and part ways. Evil face. We actually have a lot in common.S. Scott runs his fingers through his hair. KNIVES CHAU Your hair.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. SCOTT No. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. They chat amiably.) You can defeat me. Scott and Negascott face off.. Both take a step forward.. Dark clothes. Fringed hair. GIDEON’S VOICE (O.


SCOTT I think I understand. though. you know? I came here to get away.. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. stops and turns back. SCOTT Hey. then realizes Ramona has gone. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me.. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. F T Scott calls after her. RAMONA I dunno. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. but the past keeps catching up. Steps tentatively away from Knives. You do? Scott smiles. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. hoping to slip away. RAMONA I should tahnk you. He turns to see her. I should probably disappear. Ramona sees this and smiles. B A RAMONA It's hard. Snow begins to fall.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. literally taking his guard down. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. Where are you going? Ramona.

Scott watches... RAMONA Well. And stuff.. Knives doesn’t look back. Bye and stuff. We hear a 2ND COUGH .INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. A (CONTINUED) . We hear a COUGH . RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad.S.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives. mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. Ramona walks on into the night alone.. then hearsKNIVES (O. Guitar still in hand. T Surprised. F KNIVES You earned it.) Hey. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad. Before she’s gone.) Go get her. then lets it drop. I’m too cool for you anyway.S.Nega Scott also sidles into frame. She turns to walk off again. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. You’ve been fighting for her all along. SCOTT Yeah. but thenSCOTT (O. She takes his hand briefly.

1. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door.. winter turning to spring..5.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B.. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves.6. Someone seriously should have been filming it.7... it was apparently awesome. . I mean bananas. Yeah. CONTINUE? 10.. Scott takes it. standing right in the middle of the street. night magically turning to day. it was a HUGE fight. A We see the door with the star on it.9.. T Over this magical transformation. sunrise coming up over Toronto. Literally.. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could.. It was unbelievable. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater. snow swirling around it..3.) Oh my God.8. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door... F JULIE (V.. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside..O..4. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier...) Oh my God... A STACEY (V. try again? Ramona smiles.2... My little brother kicked a guy’s head off.O..


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