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Based On The Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley
by Edgar Wright and Michael Bacall
WHITE February 2, BLUE February 18, PINK March 4, YELLOW March 6, GREEN March 9, GOLDENROD March 12, BUFF March 23, SALMON March 25, CHERRY April 3, TAN June 22, GRAY July 13, ORCHID August 6, DOUBLE BLUE August 28, ADDITIONAL May 13, 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2009 2010
Notice: This material is the property of SP Film Productions, Inc and is intended and restricted solely for studio use by studio personnel. Distribution or disclosure of the material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. The sale, copying or reproduction of this material in any form is also prohibited.
EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear: KIM PINE (O.S.) Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
INT. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN - DAY Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper. KIM PINE How old are you now, Scott? Like twenty-eight?
SCOTT I’m not playing your little games. KIM PINE So you’ve been out of high school for like, 13 years andSCOTT (O.S.) I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts. YOUNG NEIL Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair. SCOTT We have done many things. We ride the bus. We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and, um...you know...drama. STEPHEN STILLS Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
STEPHEN STILLS And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad.
STEPHEN STILLS Is she hot?
INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED:
SCOTT We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
She's Chinese.. 17. Scott grins heroically.NIGHT 3 MOTHER CHAU You are seventeen year old! Time to get interested in boy! Knives DROPS her bag. THE BUS . 45. 2 KIM PINE Well.." Stars appear in Knives's eyes. Aren't you pleased as punch? STEPHEN STILLS So.INTEGRATED FINAL 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2. RATING: AWESOME.) Hey.. what's her name? SCOTT (pleased as punch) Knives Chau. Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. MOTHER CHAU. MOTHER CHAU You drop book. Scott winks at the camera. 22 YEARS OLD. KNIVES CHAU T SCOTT I believe I mentioned the bus? A Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS. sits next to her mother. TEXT appears in an on-screen box: "SCOTT PILGRIM. books scattering everywhere. YOUNG NEIL Wicked! How'd you meet her? Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story: 3 INT. Scott winks at Knives. grumbling. demanding. . Knives crouches down to pick up her books.S. B A Mom! F KNIVES CHAU. cute and innocent with clothes to match. SCOTT (O.. STEPHEN STILLS (under his breath) Chinese.
.DAY Back in the kitchen. everyone looks at Scott. STEPHEN STILLS’ KITCHEN .INTEGRATED FINAL 2A.. 4 INT. KIM PINE Is that seriously the end of the story? 4 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
STEPHEN STILLS So when do we get to meet her? KIM PINE Oh please. STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives. B A Hey. hey. SCOTT Oh. He's the talent. Let it be soon.DAY A SCOTT That’s for me. STEPHEN STILLS F SCOTT No. man. KNIVES CHAU Of course I'll be good! KNIVES CHAU Am I normally not? Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through. STEPHEN STILLS I mean. 4 SCOTT Yes. SCOTT She’ll geek. She geeks. Knives. It is. this is Stephen Stills. 5 An eager Knives stands outside. 5 INT/EXT. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . really. STEPHEN STILLS Is she gonna geek out on us? SCOTT She'll just sit in the corner. T (CONTINUED) SCOTT You promise to be good? . DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings.INTEGRATED FINAL 4 CONTINUED: 3. Scott opens the door a crack. I want her to geek out on us. Scott smiles broadly. Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS. Please be good. She has the capacity to geek.
INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: 3A. 5 Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
KNIVES CHAU Hi. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . 5 STEPHEN STILLS You’re good. Amps hum to life. SCOTT Let's start with Launchpad McQuack. Lemme get your coat. drums.) KNIVES CHAU You play the drums? Kim. who finally gets it. KNIVES CHAU That is so awesome.. looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb. Knives waves.Tetris. LAME BRAND amps.. that’s Young Neil..DAY Knives enters. 6 INT. sorry. . that’s Kim. KNIVES CHAU Wow. REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset. what was your name? KIM PINE (O. sticks in her hands.. (CONTINUED) .yes. SCOTT Knives...Zelda.that’s kind of a big question. F KIM PINE T A Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. 6 KNIVES CHAU Hi.. Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. bass.S. I’m not in the band. wow. guitar.. ratty rug.INTEGRATED FINAL 5 CONTINUED: (2) 4. STEPHEN STILLS That's not the actual title of the- B A SCOTT Knives. I just live here. What do you play? YOUNG NEIL Uh. Knives stares blankly at Young Neil. YOUNG NEIL Oh.
what? KIM PINE I mean.... Amazing. feedback lingering. SCOTT Yeaaah. F (CONTINUED) . BUS STOP . Knives watches. STEPHEN STILLS She seems nice. if your life had a face I would punch it. STEPHEN STILLS’ ROOM . Stephen Stills barks unintelligable lyrics. jaw ajar.INTEGRATED FINAL 6 CONTINUED: 5. 6 KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4! Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR.EVENING T 8 The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room. SCOTT B A Yeaaah. Kim.amazing. 7 EXT. KNIVES CHAU I can't even.. are you really happy or are you really evil? SCOTT Like..EVENING A KNIVES CHAU You guys. SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music.. YOUNG NEIL She seems awesome.. 8 INT..Sex Bob-Omb.are so. 7 Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus. The song ends. do I have ulterior motives or something? I’m offended..wait.. SCOTT KIM PINE Scott. Yeaaah. SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE.
. ROOMMATE. The whole seventeen year old thing. yes. ha. Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading. WALLACE Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together? SCOTT Do you see another bed in here? F T INT. 24 YEARS OLD.INTEGRATED FINAL 8 CONTINUED: 6.EVENING A 9 (CONTINUED) YOUNG NEIL Yeah. SCOTT Neil. FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!" SCOTT Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else. disloyal. TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace. she seems awesome. turns to Young Neil. ha. dark hair. Don’t tell too many people. you were saying she seems awesome. KIM PINE You? Hurt? Scott takes a breath. . SCOTT So. SCOTT Yeaaaah. ha. 8 STEPHEN STILLS Wounded even? SCOTT Hurt. B A WALLACE Is he cute? SCOTT Ha. arched eyebrow. He turns to WALLACE WELLS. Kim. one room apartment.. 9 Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny. WALLACE Yeah. FUTON included. "WALLACE WELLS. You're totally my bitch forever. I'm dating a 17 year old. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .
9 WALLACE Hey.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: 6A. you know me. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
A sign behind her reads “If you are using your cellphone. starts texting. gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. Scott sinks into an armchair. Knives Chau. SCOTT That gossipy bitch.S. Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless. SCOTT Wallace! B Wallace clicks off." A STACEY (O. SCOTT That’s not true. cute. Who told you? STACEY Wallace. The phone goes. SCOTT Who are you texting? RINGY RING. 9 SCOTT I mean. YOUNGER SISTER. Duh.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (2) 7. WALLACE (O. SCOTT It's a Catholic school too. Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside. STACEY With the uniform and everything? A F T "STACEY PILGRIM. RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN.) You know me. WALLACE You know me.) Seventeen years old? Scandal! (CONTINUED) . Don’t tell my sister. STACEY Who is this mysterious child you date? SCOTT Her name is Knives. 19. Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM. STACEY A seventeen year old Chinese schoolgirl? You’re ridiculous. you will not be served”. Scott picks up.S. peppy barista.
STACEY Um. SCOTT This school has boys too. you haven’tSCOTT No no no. STACEY (CONT’D) So. Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine. the whole deal. Uniformed boys and girls pour out. At all.. WALLACE I hate you.INTEGRATED FINAL 9 CONTINUED: (3) 8.. or is this just you being insane? Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times. Even I would think twice about dating a seventeen year old. (CONTINUED) .. We haven’t even held hands. looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad..DAY Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. F T A SCOTT I don't know. 9 SCOTT Yeah. you know? It's just. 10 EXT.. are you legitimately moving on. SCOTT Can I get back to you on that? A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly. more like.it’s just nice.. so I wouldn't call it dating. I think she hugged me once. she's only allowed out when the sun is up.simple. CATHOLIC SCHOOL . 10 B A WALLACE I do not want to be here.. SCOTT Well.. STACEY Oh my God. Scott. Why are you doing this? STACEY It's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 10 WALLACE Playtime? SCOTT That doesn't sound so good either.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: 8A.
wow. SCOTT Yeah. KNIVES CHAU Oh.. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind. counting down: 10. SCOTT Hey Knives.. Does he wear glasses? . KNIVES CHAU Oh.. WALLACE You're too good for him. I got it! B A F Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION). hi! Do you want to know who in my class is gay? SCOTT Wallace. Wallace Wells. like. They changed it over here because Puck-Man is too easy to vandalize. He’s gay. Run.INTEGRATED FINAL 10 CONTINUED: (2) 9. Wow. Scott looks at Knives.. The game ends.8. 11 INT. this is my cool gay roommate.9. but actually it comes from the Japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap ones mouth open and closed.. CONTINUE appears. You know. scratch out the P and turn it into an F or whatever? Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move.. T A WALLACE Yes.. She digs for quarters.S. THE ARCADE . side by side.. Whispers. you go now! Begone! Wallace pulls Knives close. KNIVES CHAU Ohmigod.DAY 11 They punch and kick in unison. 10 KNIVES CHAU (O.) Scott! Heyyyy! Knives skips to Scott. SCOTT Did you know the original name of Pacman was Puck-man? You would think it's because Pac-Man looks like a yellow hockey puck.
But it might be cool if cool people wore our T-shirt. KNIVES CHAU Tamara is into this Korean guy. THE GOODWILL . RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?" KNIVES CHAU Excuse me. you guys are gonna be HUGE. STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND. Hangers click in time. Julie. do you have anything by 'The Clash At Demonhead'? JULIE Have you tried the section marked 'The Clash At Demonhead'? SCOTT Thank you. but everyone thinks Bobby has a crush on Mina. slices in hand. 13 INT. Thank you.DAY Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) . but you guys ROCK.INTEGRATED FINAL 10. 22. Bobby. what happened? 12 Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. Knives. 12 EXT. F T A A13 INT. we're already pretty big. but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit. SCOTT I thought Derek and Tamara had a mutual like-each-other thing going. KNIVES CHAU I don't listen to much music. surly with tats and specs: "JULIE.DAY A13 13 Knives speaks to a female clerk. "PIZZA PIZZA" . JULIE Are you coming to my party Friday or will you be busy babysitting? (CONTINUED) B A KNIVES CHAU I mean. SCOTT Well.DAY Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync. I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever. . SCOTT I knew I personally rocked.
13 SCOTT Thank you. Julie. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A . (to Knives) You don’t want to listen to her.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: 10A.
DAY Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment. 11. SCOTT You go out with a lot of guys? Knives blushes and looks at the ground. so whatever. F KNIVES CHAU I mean. man! KNIVES CHAU I've never even kissed a guy. Do you read her blog? Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk. SCOTT Sorry. 15 EXT.. But that’s just me. you were saying about me? 14 EXT. I heart them so much.no. Scott hugs her. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT Me neither.. SCOTT I hearted them too until they signed to a major label and the singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life.INTEGRATED FINAL 13 CONTINUED: (2) SCOTT (cont'd) And you definitely don’t want to listen to them. KNIVES CHAU So this is your secret lair? Can I come in? B A . 13 Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack.DAY T A 14 15 (CONTINUED) KNIVES CHAU (oblivious) Envy Adams is sooo cool. I've.I've never gone out with someone so talented. SCOTT Yeah. SNOWY TORONTO STREET .. KNIVES CHAU . KNIVES CHAU Oh..
INTEGRATED FINAL 15 CONTINUED: 12. 16 (CONTINUED) .. 15 SCOTT My secret lair is one of those 'no girls allowed' deals. SCOTT Oh God.? ... Her pink hair is funky but cool. 17 B A SCOTT Oh God. rubbing his eyes. She is hotter than the desert sun. an army jacket. THE DREAM DESERT . sitting up in the FUTON. Wow. SCOTT Does that mean we can make out? F 16 EXT.Scott wanders alone through a barren land.. .. KNIVES CHAU Oh.so.so alone.. SCOTT But do you want to see the house where I grew up? KNIVES CHAU Sure. KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah. okay. skirt and goggles. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus... You're just having some idiotic dream. A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands. 17 INT.. The light snowfall turns into sand. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott.. SCOTT Here you go. She wears fishnets.. Wind blows. Wow. But she's gone.HOTTEST DAY T A They literally walk across the street to a small house..SCOTT WAKES UP.. MYSTERIOUS GIRL You're not alone.
WALLACE Girl? OTHER SCOTT Was this an Envy related dream? WALLACE We don’t use the E-word in this house. Scott? A scruffy. SCOTT No. SCOTT (CONT'D) Arrrrgh! B A OTHER SCOTT Yay for that. F T A . goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace: "OTHER SCOTT. WALLACE What is it. weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend to the library a half-hour ago? SCOTT What? It's like. Other Scott goes back to sleep. 17 WALLACE What is it.INTEGRATED FINAL 17 CONTINUED: 13. 22. Wallace rubs his eyes. six in the morning. SCOTT But there was this girl. Scott? SCOTT I had this totally weird dream. Sunlight ignites the room.. It was somebody new. WALLACE Speaking of new. OTHER VOICE Oh God.... it wasn’t her. Scott opens the bathroom door. WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS" OTHER SCOTT Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested.
INTEGRATED FINAL 13A. 18 INT.DAY KNIVES CHAU What’s wrong? 18 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . THE LIBRARY .
INTEGRATED FINAL 18 CONTINUED: 14. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . He carries a stack of books for Knives. STEPHEN STILLS You only played one note for that entire song... STEPHEN STILLS (O. (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Uh.S. head still in the clouds.my hand slipped.CA to the librarian. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts. 18 Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. KNIVES CHAU I’ll. B A T The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON. SCOTT It was...) 19 Scott stands in the rehearsal room. A The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention.. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library.uh.. KIM PINE Is your girlfriend distracting you? SCOTT My girlfriend? A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch. KNIVES CHAU That must seem like a reeeeally long time ago. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION. KNIVES CHAU Do you know that girl? KNIVES CHAU Scott? SCOTT! 19 INT. Let’s talk about something else. SCOTT Libraries remind me of grade school. Time slows to a crawl. STEPHEN STILLS Let's do that one again.EVENING F Scott continues to stare at the girl. I’ll be quieter.
A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . 21 B A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party.this sucks. so. Party? YOUNG NEIL At Julie's.NIGHT A SCOTT Awww maaan. Kim Pine. there may be some label guys there. Scott exits frame. KIM PINE We're going to this party.NIGHT STEPHEN STILLS I told you like fifty times! Scott. man.. YOUNG NEIL Sucks. SCOTT . TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . 21 INT. what are we doing? 20 EXT.. YOUNG NEIL I have to pee.INTEGRATED FINAL 19 CONTINUED: 15.. 19 SCOTT Sorry. T SCOTT Ugh. 20 STEPHEN STILLS We did. Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street.. SCOTT I'm going to go pee due to boredom. you know. JULIE'S HOUSE . F SCOTT Aw.. retard. But. Scott's head is still in the clouds. I thought you guys split. Both have red plastic cups in hand.. This is going to suck. KIM PINE At least it will give us something to complain about.
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED:
Neil sips his drink. Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek: ‘COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’ SCOTT Hey Comeau. COMEAU Hey Scott. Some party huh? You gettin’ your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 21 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT This is Coke Zero. I don’t drink. COMEAU You don’t drink? I remember you getting ridiculously drunk off two G&T’s one time andSCOTT (quickly) Comeau, you know everyone, right? COMEAU Pretty much. SCOTT Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona. COMEAU Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually. SCOTT WHAT? COMEAU You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore... Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud... 22 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.
Scott begins to babble.
SCOTT Hey, what's up? Nothing. SCOTT Hey, you know Pacman? RAMONA I know of him.
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED:
SCOTT Well you know Pac-Man was originally Puckman but not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck and paku-paku-paku means flapping your mouth and they changed it because if you scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F”? You know? Like... RAMONA Yeah that's amazing.
Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'll leave you alone forever now.
Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil. DUDE! WHA?
JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau. SCOTT DUDE. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?! COMEAU All I know is she’s American. SCOTT (exotically) American...
SCOTT SHE'S TOTALLY REAL! YOUNG NEIL
STEPHEN STILLS RAMONA FLOWERS! YOUNG NEIL
"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."
SCOTT Um...am I dreaming?
INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (2) 17A. 24. 22 COMEAU But you should talk to Sandra and Monique"SANDRA AND MONIQUE. TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS" SCOTT LADYDUDES! What do you know about Ramona Flowers? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
Comes into my work. It’s so “Ramona Quimby. We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott. 22 MONIQUE I think she has a boyfriend. SCOTT Yeah. Stephen Stills is with her.Flowers. PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet.. Aged 8” and yet. PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars. . Scott does not.. PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level. Now. Jools? F T JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona: A (CONTINUED) The girls laugh. SANDRA Some guy back in New York. arms crossed. B A PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly JULIE What about Ramona Flowers? SCOTT You know her? Tell me.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (3) 18. JULIE She just moved here. MONIQUE Doesn’t she have the most ridiculous name? SANDRA I know. What else? PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass. Got a job with Amazon. SCOTT Does she really? STEPHEN STILLS Didn't you say she just broke up with someone.
But I didn't want Scott to know that.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (4) 18A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 22 SCOTT Did she reeally? STEPHEN STILLS That they had a huge fight or whatever? SCOTT Did they reeeally? JULIE . Stephen.yes...
A JULIE Dating a high schooler is the mourning period. I forbid you from hitting on Ramona. JULIE That time with HollieSCOTT Not what it looked like! JULIE That time you dumped Kim forSCOTT Hey. Scott’s mourning period is officially over. whoa. . STEPHEN STILLS She’s got a point. We hear the sound of arctic winds. (MORE) (CONTINUED) B A JULIE That time with LisaSCOTT Misunderstanding. T SCOTT I thought you guys broke up. SCOTT looks to KIM. Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a yearSTEPHEN STILLS Hey whoa. me and Kim are all good now.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (5) 19. F JULIE I don’t want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party Scott. We all know you’re a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk. she justJULIE Scott. let’s leave it at that. SCOTT That’s garbage! Completely untrue. 22 SCOTT Yeah. He’s totally dating a high schooler. I don't know what it is about that girl. Ramona is out of your league. JULIE Whatever.
From my dream. Okay. she justJULIE Forget it Scott!!! 23 INT. WALLACE Library. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .. WALLACE There he is.. 22 SCOTT (not listening) Yeah....NIGHT Scott lies on the futon. F T (CONTINUED) A . that girl. Wallace flops onto the futon. B A SCOTT I saw her at the library.INTEGRATED FINAL 22 CONTINUED: (6) JULIE (cont'd) And anyway. WALLACE Girl.. 23 WALLACE You guess right. WALLACE Guess who's druuunk? SCOTT I guess Wallace.. I’m not even sure she really did have a big breakup.. SCOTT I think she’s the girl of my dreams.. WIDE awake.. I don't know what it is about that girl.can I pretend we're talking about a guy? SCOTT So then I'm at this party. and hey! There she is. WALLACE You think he’s. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon. 20. SCOTT I think she’s. landing next to Scott. Wallace storms in. SCOTT So.
RINGY RING! Scott answers. Who told you? STACEY Duh. WALLACE Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. B A STACEY Well.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: 21... WALLACE SCOTT I’m not getting it. SCOTT He's not even conscious! STACEY Whatever. friend. Bye.. I should send out a mass text about this. STACEY You’re thinking of juggling two chicks!? Not even! Scott looks to Wallace... SCOTT Wait. Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.fake. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone. Wallace drifts off. SCOTT I’ve never been so sure about something. cellphone in hand.... Wallace.. 23 WALLACE Mmm. F SCOTT T A (CONTINUED) . You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on. who is out cold. you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend. SCOTT What’s that? Break..up.high school.girlfriend. SCOTT Don’t you have a job to do? STACEY You’re right.
INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (2) 22.ca. SCOTT Dude! This thing claims I have mail! SCOTT Dude! Now I'm reading it! B “CLICK. Pilgrim. It has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon..... 23 SCOTT Wallace.hmm. My name is Matthew Patel.. and I'm" blah blah “fair warning” blah blah. T COMPUTER "You've got mail!" A (CONTINUED) WALLACE .ca.Amazon..this is. Scott sits at Wallace's computer. Are you waiting for the package you just ordered? A WHAT?! WALLACE I’m so happy for you.. Delete! F WALLACE It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days.. This is. .THIS IS.” Scott walks to the front door.S.... Moments pass. What's the website for that? SCOTT Awesome! I have to order something reeeally cool. SCOTT (CONT'D) Amazon.!!! WALLACE SCOTT This is boring..) WALLACE! Wallace sits bolt upright. SCOTT "Dear Mr.. WALLACE Scott.. how do you do that? HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room! SCOTT (O...
It won’t ship until Monday at the earliest. WALLACE It's the weekend. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 23 SCOTT Maybe.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (3) 22A.
out of sync... He plasters on his best fake smile. I cannot believe the music they put on while we work. Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. 23 DINGY DONG. Scott doesn't eat. Scott JUMPS to his feet. his thoughts elsewhere. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign. SCOTT How could I possibly forget? 24 INT. KNIVES CHAU Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek. THE GOODWILL . It's KNIVES CHAU! SCOTT Heyyy. That’s cute.INTEGRATED FINAL 23 CONTINUED: (4) 23.DAY F SCOTT T KNIVES CHAU Remember you were supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago? A 24 25 26 (CONTINUED) Scott and Knives flip through the record bins. B 25 INT. still distracted.. KNIVES CHAU Yearbook club is getting SO boring.. 26 EXT. Knives chows down on a slice. SONIC BOOM .DAY A . KNIVES CHAU Attack hug! Knives smothers Scott. SCOTT That's sucky. Uh huh. PIZZA PIZZA . SCOTT You were saying? Scott opens the door.DAY Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. SCOTT Attack hug.
INTEGRATED FINAL 26 CONTINUED: 23A..but Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek. 26 KNIVES CHAU . SCOTT I tell ya'.. B A F T A .
. And even better? It’s the T.. staring out. STEPHEN STILLS I got us a show. STEPHEN STILLS Wednesday. KNIVES CHAU (O.B. This is never easy. A NEGANINJA . 28 INT.. 27 INT...INTEGRATED FINAL 24..8. On.1.2.EVENING 28 An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb.DAY 27 Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION. KNIVES CHAU Combo! Knives goes to flip over Scott. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.. KNIVES CHAU Uh oh.I. Scott takes a deep breath. THE ARCADE .. everybody. side by side. alone by the window. Scott winces. The Rockit. but he messes up. Knives BURSTS into frame.10.. Game. SCOTT I can never get past that guy. Scott tunes his bass. 3.squares up against Scott’s avatar.. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE .. his timing off.I think. I think. KNIVES CHAU The Toronto International Battle of The Bands?! B A STEPHEN STILLS Game on. (CONTINUED) .9. Scott plays halfheartedly..S. The “CONTINUE?” countdown comes up..... KNIVES CHAU Do you want to keep going? Scott takes a long look at Knives.) OH MY GOSH WHEN?! F T Scott has his little videogame head cut off.. NegaNinja..B. SCOTT Um.
Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt. She grabs Scott. who are you battling? STEPHEN STILLS (O.) Oh my gosh. man. 28 STEPHEN STILLS S’right. KNIVES CHAU I will do everything I can to get out of study group and come. This guy at work was like "Steve. B A STEPHEN STILLS If we win. YOUNG NEIL T A STEPHEN STILLS Only a record deal with G-man Graves! (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU Is there a prize or something?! SCOTT What? Who? KNIVES CHAU You don’t know? STEPHEN STILLS Indie Producer of the millennium?! SCOTT Whoa.S. We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom. SCOTT Sure... Great. It’ll be the cool kids too.) Crash and the Boys.it won’t just be Knives wearing a Sex Bob-Omb shirt. Knives can barely contain herself.INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: 25. KNIVES CHAU (O. F Oh. do you know anyone in a band?" and I was like “I’m in a band” and he was like “You’re in a band?” and I was like “Yeah I’m totally in a band”KIM PINE Great story.S.
S.) Oh my gosh.S. they suck.S. I hate them too! B A F T A STEPHEN STILLS (O.) Yeah. 28 YOUNG NEIL (O. .INTEGRATED FINAL 28 CONTINUED: (2) 25A.) That one band with Crash? And those Boys? KIM PINE Yeah that’s the one. YOUNG NEIL I hate them! KNIVES CHAU (O.
DINGY DONG. Scott exits the bathroom. I was thinking about asking you out. no. PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. it's just like. around a corner. entering. SCOTT F SCOTT Hi. skating past Scott and down the hall. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE. you've got this really convenient subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. 29 INT..MORNING 31 B A It’s not? Right.. um. THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell.EVENING 29 Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie.. RAMONA Um. and you were in my dream.. DREAM HIGH SCHOOL .? 30 .. (beat) Do you want to go out sometime? T Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .a long. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it. Is that weird? RAMONA It’s not weird at all... SCOTT RAMONA No. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces.. RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds.. down a row of LOCKERS leading to. that's okay. I dreamt you were delivering me this package. Scott runs after her.INTEGRATED FINAL 26. You just have to sign for this alright? SCOTT I just woke up.. He stares at himself in the mirror... but then I realized how stupid that would be. BATHROOM .the outside of WALLACE'S APARTMENT??? 31 INT. 30 INT. A (CONTINUED) .
I was the other guy. Whatever this is? B A SCOTT It’s something really cool.. I mean. RAMONA Yeah.. (CONTINUED) F T A . Not even. RAMONA Were you the Pac-Man guy? SCOTT No.there are reasons for you to hang out with me? RAMONA You're all over the place. am I coming off as rude? SCOTT Not at all. SCOTT You don’t remember me do you? I met you at the party the other day. can we just maybe just hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You're the new kid on the block. SCOTT But if I sign for it..INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: 27. SCOTT So. you're like American? RAMONA Why.. Scott stands in awe of Ramona. right? I've lived here forever. She gives him a pen. RAMONA You know. You’d be impressed.. Noooooo. SCOTT Okay well. That was some total ass. RAMONA You still have to sign. 31 RAMONA Oh yeah.you need to sign for this. That's how it works. You’re Ramona Flowers right? RAMONA That’s me.. I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada. you'll leave.
. RAMONA Well. SCOTT Either that or you need to start hanging out with me. I just assumed you were too cool to be on time..NIGHT 32 33 34 B A Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. yeah. 31 SCOTT You are like. So. Oh. And throws the package straight in the trash. Eight o'clock? 32 33 34 OMITTED [INTEGRATED INTO SC 34] OMITTED EXT. or there’s this awesome game called Ninja Ninja Revolution at- F T Scott finally signs on the dotted line. SCOTT Why are you just standing there? RAMONA Dude. You assumed wrong. I'm totally waiting on you.you know. SCOTT Sorry. RAMONA I need to find a new route.my dream girl..INTEGRATED FINAL 31 CONTINUED: (2) 28. . will you sign for your damn package? SCOTT Done. SCOTT So what do you want to do? We could get a slice at Pizza Pizza or flip through some records at Sonic Boom... The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT Um. RAMONA You want me to hang out with you? RAMONA If I say yes..if that's cool. PARK .
F SCOTT Is Gideon.. RAMONA This is good. Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park. So how'd you end up in Toronto? RAMONA Just needed to escape I guess..is he your boyfriend? T A (CONTINUED) . B A SCOTT Was he your boyfriend? RAMONA Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? SCOTT It’s so not interesting to me. RAMONA So what about you? What do you do? SCOTT I’m between jobs. They sit on some swings in the park.. RAMONA Between what and what? SCOTT My last job is a long story filled with sighs.a friend. SCOTT I’m cool with whatever you want to do.. 34 RAMONA I’m not into simulated violence. RAMONA He’s.. And Gideon had always said Toronto was one of the great cities so. SCOTT Oh yeah? RAMONA I got this job here.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: 29.. SCOTT This is good.
RAMONA I didn’t mean to get you obsessed. RAMONA Uh. RAMONA Yeah. It was time to head somewhere a little more chilled. . SCOTT Is that why you left New York? RAMONA Pretty much. 34 RAMONA I know plenty of those. SCOTT I’m totally obsessed with you. SCOTT Well. T A (CONTINUED) Yeah. It’s weird. but you totally do! F SCOTT I just haven’t been obsessed with a girl for a long time.. RAMONA That’s probably because you sleep with a guy. it’s certainly chilled here. Chilled as in cold.. B A Um.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (2) 30. SCOTT RAMONA I was guessing from your apartment.
Ramona hops off her swing.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (3) 31. mostly stupid. Wallace is pretty gay. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA Aw. Laughing... SCOTT Yeah. SCOTT F SCOTT Exactly.... RAMONA This is ridiculous. Isn't it like April? B The snow gets heavier still. SCOTT So this is a 'date'. SCOTT I feel so stupid.. no. SCOTT (CONT'D) I'm. The snowfall gets heavier. you’re probably not that stupid.. RAMONA Dude.. A Tongue.. You're too desperate to be gay. RAMONA Anyway. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster. I think there's a thingy up here somewhere. . yeah.. RAMONA I think 'act of God' is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date... I believe you. Ramona walks away. you're definitely stupid if you want to go out with me. eh? RAMONA Did I say 'date'? Slip of the tongue. 34 SCOTT It’s. I can barely see you. we're just poor! We can't afford two beds! We're not gay! Actually. RAMONA Well. night’s not over yet. relax.
. I can’t see you. I. Help me. SCOTT A door? I... 34 SCOTT A thingy? RAMONA A door. I’m blind. B A (CONTINUED) F T A ..INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (4) 31A.
ginseng. Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK. Ramona opens the door.S.) Here. I'm just. Pushing it open. white truffle. liver disaster. ginger without honey... He wanders towards a half open door. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . 34 A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. A RAMONA Let me get you a blanket. T A (CONTINUED) .. After a moment alone.. RAMONA What kind of tea do you want? SCOTT There's more than one kind? RAMONA We have blueberry.very warm.S.) That's. sleepytime. F RAMONA I think I'll have sleepytime. green tea with lemon and honey. green tea with lemon.cold! RAMONA (O. blueberry chamomile. He watches as she slips out of her coat.S. Scott ventures upstairs. RAMONA Dude! I'm changing.. SCOTT (O. green tea. raspberry. he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt. 35 INT. constant comment and earl grey.) AAAH! Sorry.. does this help? SCOTT (O. What is that? B Ramona exits. vanilla almond. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness. girl friendly apartment.NIGHT 35 Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy. ginger with honey.INTEGRATED FINAL 34 CONTINUED: (5) 32. vanilla walnut. SCOTT Did you make some of those up? SCOTT That sounds good to me. SCOTT That would actually be awesome.
.were you just going to bring the blanket from your bed? RAMONA I guess. You can sleep in my bed. A (CONTINUED) . Ramona breaks off...kay. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline.. Not right now. SCOTT Changed it to what? From what? RAMONA I don't want to have sex with you.. They tumble onto the bed and make out. revealing black panties to complement black bra... RAMONA I changed my mind... And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later. Scott takes his shirt off.camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. They look into each others eyes. SCOTT (CONT'D) Were you. Then- B Ramona curls up next to Scott. SCOTT (CONT'D) Ohh.... Pilgrim. The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off...not have tea..maybe we should both get under it. Scott is in heaven.. RAMONA Well. SCOTT RAMONA It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: 33.kay.since we're so cold. F T SCOTT Maybe.what about our tea? SCOTT I can.. A Ohh. smiling. 35 Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him.
Whatever this is.. I didn't even get any. Then without warning we jump cut to 36 INT. It's been like a really long time.INTEGRATED FINAL 35 CONTINUED: (2) 34.. RAMONA You're welcome. we're terrible.MORNING 36 “NO RAMONA” Another arrow point out that- Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. can this not be a one night stand? For one thing. 35 SCOTT This is cool. just this. .oh. SCOTT Hey. Scott walking next to her.. So. Ramona is gone. RAMONA I have to work. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks.. RAMONA'S APARTMENT . thanks. and this is. B A 37 EXT.that was a joke. RAMONA (totally unimpressed) You have a band? SCOTT Yeah. They exchange a smile. Please come. Ramona skates towards the front gate.MORNING F 37 (CONTINUED) T “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER” A DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens.. RAMONA What did you have in mind? SCOTT Umm. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him. come to the first round of this battle of the bands thing. RAMONA'S ROOM . SCOTT Work? RAMONA You have to leave. Scott relaxes.I think I needed this..
INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: 34A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 37 RAMONA Sure.
She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses. RAMONA Hey. his social skills vanish. ‘RAMONA FLOWERS. B A F T 38 INT. STACEY And this is Wallace. He’s chronically enfeebled. xxxxxxx‘ SCOTT Wow. Scott is so amazed at her presence. SCOTT You totally came! RAMONA Yes. 37 Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow. WALLACE (staring at Jimmy) Heyyy. Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters.. far away. Scott Pilgrim. SCOTT Oh. She hands him a note. hey! It’s tonight. his room-mate. 212 664-7665. .At The- “THE ROCKIT. reaching Scott at the bar.NIGHT A 38 (CONTINUED) RAMONA See you at the show. STACEY Excuse my brother. girl number. Scott looks back up. right back next to Scott.(somehow) SCOTT Wait! Can I get your number? SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop..INTEGRATED FINAL 37 CONTINUED: (2) 35. FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET”. Ramona is already skating far. STACEY And this is my boyfriend Jimmy. WALLACE Hey. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. I did totally come. I’m Stacey.. THE ROCKIT ..
S) This next band are from Brampton and they are Crash And The Boys.. The sound guy hated us.uh. People love us.. BACKSTAGE . For sound check. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace. Knives looks kinda sexy. Scott scurries off. He pushes her away. 39 B A F T LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. 38 STACEY And this is Knives. SCOTT It’s just nerves! Pre-show jitters. SCOTT I. SCOTT HEYYYYYYYY! KNIVES CHAU Hey. THE ROCKIT. Scott’sScott goes white. STILLS We were just on stage. wearing makeup and new clothes. Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. wake up. We hear feedback from a mic onstage. KIM Once we’re on stage you’ll be fine. He didn’t even see Knives come in. Stacey stares at Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 38 CONTINUED: 36. Wallace stares at Jimmy. 39 INT.. Is this a nightmare? Wake up. Go. STEPHEN STILLS This is a nightmare. SCOTT (CONT’D) Have.. wake up. PROMOTER (O. Right? Scott sounds less than convincing. To.CONTINUOUS Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band. A KNIVES CHAU Do you like? . Knives pecks Scott on the cheek.
You passed.. 40 INT.CONTINUOUS B41 A41 B Crash and the Boys play a whole song in . Do they rock or suck? JIMMY They. GUYS! CRASH This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. Jimmy.04 seconds. and these are the Boys." Sweet! WALLACE I love this one! A CRASH This is called "I am so sad.haven't started playing yet. I am Crash. THE ROCKIT. 8 year old girl drummer. Please Die. CRASH Thank you. TRASHA.INTEGRATED FINAL 37. KIM PINE They have a girl drummer? B41 INT. WALLACE IT'S NOT A RACE. A41 INT. gives Wallace the finger. TOO? CRASH Yes. . BACKSTAGE . STAGE . F T A (CONTINUED) CRASH Good evening. THE ROCKIT. I am so very very sad. STAGE . WALLACE IS THAT GIRL A BOY." And it goes a little something like this. WALLACE That was a test. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy. Wallace yells from the balcony.CONTINUOUS 40 Crash and The Boys tune up. and it's called "We Hate You.. WALLACE Jimmy. Kim glowers.CONTINUOUS Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. THE ROCKIT.
B A F T A . B41 Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.INTEGRATED FINAL B41 CONTINUED: 37A.
BACKSTAGE . A F T A CRASH This is called "Last Song Kills Audience".CONTINUOUS Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band. STEPHEN STILLS How are we supposed to follow this? We’re not going to win. we’re not gonna sign with G-Man and we’ll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. 41 STEPHEN STILLS 42 42 INT. THE ROCKIT. Stacey turns to Ramona.INTEGRATED FINAL 38.. BALCONY . Are these guys good? Kim Pine scowls harder than ever. THE ROCKIT. STAGE .CONTINUOUS STEPHEN STILLS These guys are good. STACEY So Knives. STACEY Hard for me to keep track sometimes. 44 Ramona arches an eyebrow. BACKSTAGE .. The audience are stunned. WILL YOU STOP JUST STANDING THERE..CONTINUOUS Sound explodes from the stage.CONTINUOUS As Crash And The Boys climax. 41 INT. how do you know Scott? RAMONA He's. He has so many friends. 43 INT. YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! 43 44 INT. These guys are good.um. THE ROCKIT. how did you meet Scott? B STACEY So. .. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara. It'll be our last song tonight and your last song EVER. THE ROCKIT. (freaking out) GODDAMN IT SCOTT. He's a friend.
I was on the bus with my MomKnives freezes.INTEGRATED FINAL 39.. ANGLE on Knives.. KNIVES CHAU Well. finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage! B A STEPHEN STILLS Scott.... staring at the stage. 46 RAMONA Is that seriously the end of the story? 47 INT. STAGE . BACKSTAGE .. THE ROCKIT. Scott nods vigorously.you ready? STEPHEN STILLS Kim. they’re on! A 47 ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic.Bob-Omb? SEX BOB-OMB walk on. BALCONY .CONTINUOUS T KNIVES CHAU OH MY GOSH. sees Stacey talking to Knives. TWO. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face.CONTINUOUS Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story. So give it up for Sex. 45 INT.yeah. THE ROCKIT. THE ROCKIT. barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole. ONE. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers. F (CONTINUED) . She faints in the excitement. KIM PINE (CONT’D) THREE... FOUR! Sex Bob-omb rock out.CONTINUOUS 45 Scott looks up into the balcony.you reaKIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB. SCOTT We gotta play now and loud! 46 INT. PROMOTER This next band is from Toronto and...
WALLACE FIGHT! MATTHEW PATEL Alright. then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. Consider our fight. SCOTT Thank you. Pilgrim. Matthew Patel. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out). He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. MATTHEW PATEL You’re quite the opponent. knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle.. MATTHEW PATEL My name is Matthew Patel and I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend! SCOTT You’re what? MATTHEW PATEL Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend! All eyes WHIP up to Ramona.begun! SCOTT What did I do? Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott.. B A Patel RUNS at Scott. Patel LANDS like a cat. SCOTT Who the hell are you anyway? F WALLACE Watch out! It's that one guy! T Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm. Pilgrim.. MATTHEW PATEL Mr. They land in THE PIT. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. Alright.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: 40. A (CONTINUED) SCOTT What do I do?! . FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott.. Wallace! The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters. It is I. 47 MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe.
Patel punches.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (2) 40A. Scott blocks. Scott blocks. 47 RAMONA Anyone need another drink? Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . then holds his hand up for a time-out.
Scott jump-spins away from danger. probably in the entire state. We only kissed once. RAMONA (CONT'D) It was football season and for some reason. breathing heavy. all the little jocks wanted me. Nothing but pre-teen capriciousness. Matthew was the only non-white. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. so we joined forces and took 'em all out. until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. After a week and a half. then lands more punches. B A SCOTT You really went out with this guy? RAMONA Yeah. SCOTT Are you a pirate? MATTHEW PATEL Pirates are in this year! Patel attacks again. We were one hell of a team. non-jock boy in school. . Scott looks up to Ramona. I told him to hit the showers. The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. F T (CONTINUED) A Patel attacks.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (3) 41. Patel evades. in the seventh grade. They pause. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK. 47 SCOTT We're fighting because of Ramona? MATTHEW PATEL Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation? SCOTT I skimmed it. MATTHEW PATEL You will pay for your insolence! WALLACE What’s up with his outfit? OTHER HECKLER Yeah! Is he a pirate? Scott looks at Patel’s outfit. Scott evades and counter-attacks. They exchange furious blows. landing kicks and punches.
INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (4) 41A. 47 The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
mystical powers? Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona. POOF. MATTHEW PATEL This is impossible. narrowly dodging the attack. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face. dodging a third wave of fireballs. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him. how can it be?! Scott leaps into the air. He flips back onto the stage. 47 SCOTT Dude.INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (5) 42. Maybe you’ll see. T A (CONTINUED) . MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks.. I’m talking the talk because I know I’m slick. The house drum kit is trashed behind him. The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. Scott rolls across the stage. Scott hits the ground. Flowers! Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG! MATTHEW PATEL (CONT'D) If you want to fight me. MATTHEW PATEL You’ll pay for this.. SCOTT That doesn’t even rhyme. Patel levitates into the air. Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. you’re not the brightest. You won’t know what’s hit you in the slightest. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings. SCOTT Open your eyes. the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish. F MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. B A MATTHEW PATEL (CONT’D) Let us show him what we’re all about. Scott dodges. wait. It hits Patel square in the eyes.
INTEGRATED FINAL 47 CONTINUED: (6) 42A. THE ROCKIT. They clatter to the stage floor.O! Scott punches Patel. 48 INT. 47 K.CONTINUOUS Ramona makes her way out fast. He explodes into COINS. Coins. 48 B A (CONTINUED) F T A . BALCONY . SCOTT Sweet. Passes Stacey. Scott lands and picks them up.
Sex Bob-Omb wins.so like. 50 INT. BALCONY . $2. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes.... STAGE . who is being resuscitated by Tamara. Ramona takes a breath. SCOTT You have seven evil ex-boyfriends? B F T A 49 INT.INTEGRATED FINAL 48 CONTINUED: 43. Tell your gay friends I said bye... clapping wildly from the balcony.. 48 RAMONA Well.. PROMOTER Yeah. The Promotor ambles back onstage. STACEY WALLACE?! Not again! Ramona passes Knives.40? That's not even enough for the bus home. RAMONA I'll lend you the 30 cents. Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them. THE ROCKIT.CONTINUOUS 49 (CONTINUED) .CONTINUOUS 50 51 INT. THE BUS . A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home. Ramona yanks Scott away. it was great meeting you. you may have to defeat my seven evil ex's. STACEY Gay friends? Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out. I guess.but he is long gone. RAMONA (CONT’D) If we're going to date.NIGHT A Knives is now wide awake.. SCOTT What was all that all about? RAMONA Uh. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott.. SCOTT Aw man. THE ROCKIT. 51 SCOTT Sooooooo.
Scott kisses Ramona. what you're saying is.. Do you want to make out? Uh.. SCOTT Cool. The studio audience applauds. yes. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott. 52 53 OMITTED INT. SCOTT So I have to fightRAMONA Defeat.INTEGRATED FINAL 51 CONTINUED: 44.MORNING 52 A F RAMONA T A 53 (CONTINUED) RAMONA Pretty much. someone got to second base last night. 51 RAMONA Seven ex's. (beat) We are dating? RAMONA Uh. right? I got to second base last night. Scott bursts through the front door. The studio audience 'awwww's. I mean me..maybe first and a half. WALLACE Someone’s lucky then.. . SCOTT -defeat your seven evil ex's if we're going to continue to date. I guess. SCOTT You know when I say ‘someone’. B WALLACE Someone’s happy.. SCOTT Well. And someone has a second date tonight. a spring in his step. A bleary Wallace fries bacon. SCOTT So..
. Scott... SCOTT Who’s Lucas Lee? Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine.. take it up with Liberace’s Ghost. SCOTT But. I don't want you gaying up the place.. SCOTT (CONT’D) DOUBLE STANDARD! WALLACE I didn’t make up the gay rulebook..you're. SCOTT One of your famous ultimatums? WALLACE It may live in infamy.it's HARD. I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: 45... so you can't be here tonight. WALLACE Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation. (CONTINUED) B A Morning. At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee. hey. F SCOTT But you. Today. I'm inviting Ramona over for dinner. I swear to God. Okay? Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace's bacon.. T A .You have to break up with Knives. WALLACE If you don't do it. 53 SCOTT (CONT’D) Oh. Scott. But in return I have to issue an ultimatum. If you have a problem with it. WALLACE Okay.but.. SCOTT You’re a monster. JIMMY Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly.
53 WALLACE He was this pretty good skater and now he’s this pretty good actor.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (2) 45A. (MORE) B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
is me pulling the trigger. like. SCOTT So. Hi. SCOTT (CONT'D) Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 53 CONTINUED: (3) WALLACE (cont'd) He’s filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now.. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores. SCOTT You suck. Knives.okay. 53 SCOTT They make movies in Toronto? WALLACE Yes.. Um.DAY A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone. I am stalking him later. 46. The next click is me hanging up..S.) And a dorky hat?! SCOTT It's not dorky! Why are you psychic? A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass. talk or whatever? KNIVES CHAU (O.) Are you wearing a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? . hey. this Lucas LeeWALLACE Lucas Lee is not important to you right now! Get out. Wallace turns the television way up. KNIVES CHAU (O..S. SCOTT Oh. PAYPHONE ON BUSY STREET . LUCAS LEE (ON TV) Listen close and listen hard. B A Ummm.. Uh. 54 EXT. A 54 Scott checks what he's wearing.. The one after that. bucko. F SCOTT T Scott grumbles off. do you want to. Surprising no one.
Chinese food? Yeah. KNIVES CHAU Oh. SCOTT And.LOVE! F SCOTT Hmm. SONIC BOOM . to meet my parents.are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever? KNIVES CHAU I don't care.and.I think that's a really bad idea. 55 INT.. listenThe SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder. hey. It's my birthday dinner. Like.. T (CONTINUED) A .. 55 Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist. It’s not my favorite... I'm too old for you! KNIVES CHAU No you're not! My Dad is nine years older than my Mom.. Why? SCOTT Well I mean. KNIVES CHAU KNIVES CHAU Yeah.. really. SCOTT Like. I'm in.DAY The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. Well....INTEGRATED FINAL 47. Will you take me to the show? SCOTT Yeah. KNIVES CHAU No. KNIVES CHAU I can’t believe they’re coming to town. pounding inside Scott's head. B A SCOTT Uh. just so bad. it's okay.
the word actually appears onscreen.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: 47A. Scott brushes it away. listen. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 55 Knives is so smitten..I was thinking we should break up or whatever.. SCOTT Um.
EVENING Sex Bob-Omb tune up. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store. I meant scum of the earth. SCOTT Aw. 56 INT. Kim and Stills share a look. her funky pink hair. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers. B A Young Neil PAUSES his DS. thanks. THE BUS / RECORD STORE . SCOTT Aw. KIM PINE Scott.. thinks of something happier. a little happier. CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading. YOUNG NEIL You. Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune.you broke up with Knives? F KIM PINE Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? A (CONTINUED) .it's not going to work out.DAY Scott sits on the bus alone.. thinking about Knives.. No.. KNIVES CHAU Scott walks out. 56 57 INT/EXT.. in shock. thanks. SCOTT (CONT'D) OH! Check it out. T ON THE BUS: Scott smiles. KIM PINE Wait.INTEGRATED FINAL 55 CONTINUED: (2) Really? 48...um. We broke up. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy 2.. you are the salt of the earth. 57 SCOTT Oh. 55 KNIVES CHAU SCOTT Yeah.. Oh. leaving Knives in the aisle. STEPHEN STILLS’ BASEMENT . ON THE BUS: Scott sighs..
this is Stephen Stills. Are you going to introduce me? SCOTT Oh yeah.. STEPHEN STILLS Okay! From here on out. Young Neil. SCOTT It’s all blue. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair. Kim. new or new-new. SCOTT (CONT'D) That's for me. Is it not cool? Everyone mumbles back. whether they’re old.. but don’t worry.. no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice. Kim mimes shooting herself. weirded out by this hair development. B A Scott ushers her in. Okay? SCOTT Okay! DINGY DONG. RAMONA Hey everyone.. Like you said. This is sudden death now. YOUNG NEIL Newnew. I just dyed it. that’s. We were lucky to survive that last round. SCOTT You know your hair? RAMONA I know of it.. RAMONA Yeah. RAMONA Yes.. maybe you'll meet my new new girlfriend soon. 57 SCOTT Yeah.INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: 49. Scott opens the door to see Ramona. F SCOTT (CONT’D) Hey. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp.you’re here? T A (CONTINUED) . now sporting BLUE HAIR.
INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (2) 49A. 57 SCOTT Is it weird not being pink anymore? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
. (to Sex Bob-Omb) So. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Good. dude. STEPHEN STILLS Uh. Ramona goes to the bathroom. Starts ushering Ramona out again. YOUNG NEIL (to Stills) I’m Neil. KIM PINE Believe it or not. 58 Ramona lounges. good. preparing food as Wallace looks on.. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area. WALLACE Are you doing okay there? SCOTT Yeah. Scott fake laughs. 57 RAMONA I change my hair every week and a half. SCOTT She changed her hair.NIGHT B A SCOTT Neil knows my parts. He’s an idiot. Get used to it. reading a magazine..INTEGRATED FINAL 57 CONTINUED: (3) 50. Cool. I actually dated Scott in high school. what about rehearsal? 58 INT.how do you guys all know each other? YOUNG NEIL High school. I guess? STEPHEN STILLS What Neil said. See you guys tomorrow.uh. Scott drops the act. F T RAMONA Got any embarassing stories? A (CONTINUED) I’m Neil. KIM PINE Yeah. YOUNG NEIL . SCOTT Okay..
INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: 50A. 58 WALLACE So? It looks nice blue. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
See you in sixty. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner. good. what do I do? WALLACE I can’t believe you were worried about me gaying up the place. Impulsive. Good. Oh my god. A SCOTT You think so? WALLACE Well. '15 MINUTES LATER' F T WALLACE I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. Scott stops Wallace at the door. RAMONA This is actually really good garlic bread. “when”.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (2) 51. WALLACE Will you man the hell up? You could get to 2nd and a half base. if you strike out in the next hour. with a panicked whisper. Fickle. She’s spontaneous. 58 SCOTT I know. SCOTT “If I strike out”? WALLACE Okay. Ramona returns. but she changed it without even making a big deal about it. I’m heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush. SCOTT Don’t go. RAMONA How’s dinner coming along? SCOTT Yeah. B Ramona and Scott eat on the floor. A (CONTINUED) . come find me at the Castle. Wallace pulls on a jacket. picnic style.
A (CONTINUED) . Mona. SCOTT No. SCOTT OH GOD! I NEED A HAIRCUT DON'T I?!? Scott sits up like a shot. Ooooh. Ra-ra-ra. RAMONA Your hair's pretty shaggy. Or just all the time without even stopping. SCOTT Bread makes you FAT?? '15 MINUTES LATER' SCOTT So I wrote a song about you. Ra-mona. it goes like this: Ra-mona.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (3) 52. Ra-ra-ra. RAMONA What? A Finished? RAMONA I can’t wait to hear it when it’s finished. I could honestly eat it for every meal. RAMONA Oh yeah? SCOTT Yeah. B Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. Why would I get fat? RAMONA Bread makes you fat. RAMONA You'd get fat. Ramona is taken aback. SCOTT '15 MINUTES LATER' F T A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar. 58 SCOTT Garlic bread is my favorite food. Ra-mona. Mona. Ra-mona. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair.
Then. But it’s so long ago. Earl Jones deep.. NARRATOR She dumped him. It was. He blames this largely on the haircut and has been cutting his own hair ever since. But she stopped liking that name. RAMONA Sounds like a bad time.. hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps.. Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears. I like it long. NARRATOR Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago. 58 SCOTT Ha. she told me it was mutual.she stopped liking me. I can barely remember it...INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (4) 53.. T A . It’s just that I got. I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up. now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT.. RAMONA Your hair is cute.. three hours before his big breakup. SCOTT Not really. sorry. It was brutal.. RAMONA What was her name? SCOTT She was Nat when I knew her. No. NARRATOR It wasn’t. A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. SCOTT But it'd be cuter short! Wouldn't it?! F NARRATOR SCOTT It was a mutual thing. RAMONA What? Why are you wearing that? (CONTINUED) B A SCOTT I mean.
but.. Not that I do drugs. every drug. . as if crossing a magical line. Let’s find out. ENDLESS STAIRWAY . I just love me some walking. I don’t know. bright movie set lights.heightened. I just.NIGHT '15 MINUTES LATER' Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY. 59 RAMONA You seem a little. They’re shooting this movie up here.I don't know. RAMONA Who's in it? SCOTT Winifred Hailey and some actor guy. in which case I do drugs all the time. A RAMONA What is this place? SCOTT A totally awesome castle.. who? SCOTT I forget. RAMONA Tell me we didn't come out here just so you could cover your hair with that hat. F SCOTT Yeah. Putting one leg in front of the other.INTEGRATED FINAL 58 CONTINUED: (5) 54. Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY. unless you do. RAMONA Oh. Things seem a little brighter around you or something. a castle surrounded by big. T A SCOTT Nooo... B Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA.you make me feel.. 59 EXT.. long handrail between them. when I'm with you I feel like I'm on drugs. 58 SCOTT I thought we could go for a walk.
He skates towards the set. Lee? WALLACE Lucas Lee. 60 EXT. Mr.D. RAMONA Ooh. Ooh? SCOTT WALLACE I want to have his adopted babies. FIRST A. B A What? Why? Slut. RAMONA Did you find the guy you’re stalking? WALLACE I think I’m about to right now. The spectators go “oooh”. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man.INTEGRATED FINAL 55. doing kickflips. CASA LOMA . man. Lee is travelling! RAMONA Mr. smoking a cigarette (blacked out). RAMONA Oh.CONTINUOUS 60 A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. F The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer. including Wallace. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS. SCOTT RAMONA I used to date that clown. WALLACE RAMONA Wallace. T (CONTINUED) A . I am not a slut. We gotta go.
SCOTT He had snot? In his nose? But he's famous! LUCAS LEE HEY!!! RAMONA It’s not a big deal. We had drama.. LUCAS LEE Action.. RAMONA He just followed me around. SCOTT He's famous and he talked to me! B A F HEY!!! T A (CONTINUED) LUCAS LEE Hey.my. He was a little snot nosed brat. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it’s gonna take to kick your ass. I just remember there being lots of drama.. SCOTT .you dated a FAMOUS guy?! RAMONA In 9th grade. 60 WALLACE I can think of no higher accolade...INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: 56... Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON. it might have been math. LUCAS LEE Lucas Lee points at Scott. who gasps. I only dated him for a week and a halfLUCAS LEE I'm talking to you Scott Pilgrim! Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott.. . Actually. Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode. who remains oblivious.God. SCOTT Oh.
SCOTT Can I get your autograph? LUCAS LEE Sup. 60 LUCAS LEE The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass! SCOTT Can I getPOW! Lucas Lee punches Scott. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper. Fight. . He nods to Ramona. WALLACE Scott.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (2) 56A. How’s life? He seems nice. Scotts CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo. Evil ex. wobbly. B A (CONTINUED) F T Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret. crumbling it. then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground. flooring him. A POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again.
S. Scott staggers to his feet. punchy. He slides across the wet-down ground. A ... COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN. Suddenly.) Mr. hey. Tae Kwon Doe style. all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble.. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground. WALLACE Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds! SCOTT How does it feel to- KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face.S. LUCAS LEE Some competish you are. F T Scott turns to see the real Lucas. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic. hey! I’m not doneScott spins Lucas around. LUCAS LEE I’m gonna get coffee.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (3) 57. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards. all identically dressed. smirking on the sidelines. SCOTT (O. only to find an identical STAND IN! LUCAS LEE (O. right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. LUCAS LEE He’s good. followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs. Lucas Lee wanders off. Lee? (CONTINUED) B A LUCAS LEE I’m nothing without my stunt team. bro? Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. SCOTT Hey.. 60 LUCAS LEE Think you stand a chance against an A-lister. The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl.) Looks like you’re seeing double. You homies want anything? We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. Scott stands to fight the double. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing.
well then don't worry about it. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP. SCOTT You’re needed back on set.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (4) 58. in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP. Scott goes to shake it. . SCOTT LUCAS LEE Yeah..no. 60 Lucas turns. bro. preparing for the deathblow. LUCAS LEE Prepare... Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. F SCOTT LUCAS LEE Seven evil exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? T LUCAS LEE You really don't know about the "The League"? A (CONTINUED) . Scott smiles through his aching jaw. SCOTT You are a pretty good actor. shocked to see Scott. Lucas offers a hand. Let’s get a beer... framed through the torn skyline. Lucas stomps over to him. SCOTT But are you a pretty good skater? B A Really? LUCAS LEE Oh. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth.. LUCAS LEE I'm going for the Oscar this year. surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen. prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes! SCOTT The League of Evil Axes? SCOTT Ummm. Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK.
Cut back to Scott & Wallace. 60 LUCAS LEE I’m more than pretty good. LUCAS LEE It’s called a grind. revealing a skate company tattoo. ese. WALLACE Hi..HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight.. SCOTT Hey..INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (5) 59. if it’s too hardcore.. Big fan. B A LUCAS LEE Somebody get me my board. but can you do a thingy on that rail? Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs. very impressed at Lucas. I have my own skate company. LUCAS LEE You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? SCOTT There’s girls watching. SCOTT So you can sell them. SCOTT Wow. Wallace taps Lucas' shoulder and hands him his skateboard.. HSSSSSSSSS. SCOTT So can you do a grind thingy now? LUCAS LEE Are you serious? There’s like 200 steps and the rails are garbage. F T A (CONTINUED) . bro.. Cut back to Scott & Wallace.. a perfect ollie onto the rail. sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL. impressed at Lucas. LUCAS LEE Why wouldn’t you be? CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT. Lucas pulls down his shirt..
Scott’s about to say ‘wow’ whenBOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs.. SCOTT Yes! Fist bump. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . he totally bailed. Cut back to Scott & Wallace. SCOTT I didn’t get his autograph.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (6) 59A. HSSSSSSSSS. 60 SCOTT Wow. WALLACE Wow. Scott smacks his forehead..
please record your message after the beep.INTEGRATED FINAL 60 CONTINUED: (7) 60. xxxxxxx WALLACE What did you think these were? SCOTT Kisses? Seven little kisses? WALLACE Seven deadly X's. It was right under your nose. phone pressed to his ear. Uh.. It’s me. Call me back. you said that last night. 61 INT. Scott Pilgrim. (hangs up) What's the deal? Seriously. T SCOTT Hey. she totally bailed. SCOTT You know what really sucks though? Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott's nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT What's the deal? Seriously. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). RAMONA is not available.D. you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. F WALLACE WALLACE Yeah. Scott again. We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. 212 664-7665.. 60 FIRST A. A Scott slumps on the couch. (CONTINUED) B A What? SCOTT Everything! WALLACE Come on guy. SCOTT Where's Ramona? Is she still here? WALLACE No.DAY 61 Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it.that’s a wrap everybody. .
.S. SCOTT WALLACE The other L-word. completely shocked at this bombshell.) Hey Scott. Step up your game. VOICE (O.. You can do it! Be with her! It’s your destiny! (beat) Plus. it’s “love”. I’m kind of banking on her calling you back so I won’t have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. SCOTT WALLACE Okay. SCOTT Why does everything have to be so complicated? Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor. Scott slides to the floor. Scott and Wallace look at the phone. guy. SCOTT What? Why? Are you moving in with Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE Or someone.INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: 61. Look. B A F T A (CONTINUED) Lesbian? . I need you to move out. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. if she’s really the girl of your dreams. You have the spirit of a warrior. A SEXY. WALLACE I have a feeling that’s for you. Scott picks up. RINGY RING. WALLACE If you want something bad. Scott. Break out the L-word. Either way. then you have to let her know. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. you have to fight for it. NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES. 61 Wallace cocks an eyebrow. Lesbians? Scott’s face falls.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT ...Envy? WALLACE Oh, shit. ENVY (O.S.) It’s been a long time. SCOTT Yeah. ENVY (O.S.) A year I think? SCOTT Approximately. ENVY (O.S.) How are you?
SCOTT I’m not doing so good right now. ENVY (O.S.) That’s too bad. Still breaking hearts?
ENVY (O.S.) Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be jealous? SCOTT Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time. And she’s America. Uh. She’s American. ENVY (O.S.) What’s her name? SCOTT I’m not telling you that. Ramona. ENVY (O.S.) SCOTT What? Do you know her? ENVY (O.S.)
SCOTT What? No, stop. I’ve been-it’s been different. You have no idea.
INTEGRATED FINAL 61 CONTINUED: (3)
SCOTT It sounded like you did. ENVY (O.S.) I gotta go. Nice chatting with you. SCOTT WaitCLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him. WALLACE Okay. Everything does suck.
WALLACE Or does it?
Scott sits bolt upright, expectant. WALLACE Oh, hey Knives. Scott lays back down. FUCK.
Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.
Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background. A62 EXT. STREET - DAY A62
Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ‘X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an... 62 EXT. ALLEY - DAY Scott rips the ‘X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when62
Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES. WALLACE (CONT’D) He just left.
KNIVES CHAU Is Scott here? WALLACE You know what?
WALLACE What’s that? You’re outside?
Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.
INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED:
WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around. SCOTT Dude. WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by. SCOTT Please.
am I asleep right now? MYSTERY ATTACKER SCOTT So. darlin’. This is one nightmare you can’t wake up from. technically this is not a nightmare. SCOTT Wait. I’ve had it today. ALT #1: SCOTT What’s that from? ALT #2: B No. Hits SOMETHING. 62 SHFFF . but I just cashed my last raincheck. She spins to face Scott.SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. Can we not do this right now? A (CONTINUED) MYSTERY ATTACKER You punched me in the boob. F MYSTERY ATTACKER (dixieland accent) Love to postpone.SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott. . A MYSTERY ATTACKER (own voice) My brain! SCOTT Well whatever this is about. Prepare to die. SHWAA . SCOTT Okay. enough! Scott punches the air in front of him.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (2) 64. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. SCOTT I’m really not in the mood. can it wait till I’m in the right frame of mind? MYSTERY ATTACKER Nuh uh. obviously. T SCOTT Listen. He’s pissed now.
SCOTT Oh man. MYSTERY ATTACKER Don’t question me! Scott shakes his head. 62 MYSTERY ATTACKER Right. It’s everyone else that’s crazy. Because I’ll be deadly serious next time. SCOTT Well.S.DAY F T 63 (CONTINUED) A .the Mystery Attacker vanishes. Scott is in his usual payphone. It’s actually me. baffled.INTEGRATED FINAL 62 CONTINUED: (3) 64A. Someone help me.) What did he do this time? SCOTT No.S. MYSTERY ATTACKER Okay little chicken. then I’ll see you later. I’m really.) What did you do this time? SCOTT I didn’t do anything. SCOTT So how can I not wake up? If I’m not actually asleep. (MORE) B A 63 EXT. BLOOR STREET . really not up for this. SCOTT What? Nevermind! MYSTERY ATTACKER PAF . Whatever it is. it’s Scott. Scott looks to the sky. SCOTT It’s Scott. STACEY (O. dialing Stacey frantically. STACEY (O. But you won’t see me.
And by the way.INTEGRATED FINAL 63 CONTINUED: SCOTT (cont'd) Look I need to talk to you. Scott turns back to Julie. a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped. I’m having a meltdown or whatever. Stacey has her back turned. Stacey turns around. Can I get a caramel macchiato? B A SCOTT Is there anywhere you don’t work? JULIE They’re called 'jobs'. JULIE What can I fucking get you? (Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK". revealing herself to be JULIE! JULIE SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT AH! What did you do with my sister? Stacey taps on the window outside.S.CONTINUOUS 64 SCOTT Think I’ll make it a decaf today. SCOTT Cool. I can't believe you fucking asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to fucking do that! F T A Scott approaches the counter. THE SECOND CUP . I’m coming in.) SCOTT How do you do that with your mouth? JULIE Neverfuckingmind how I do it! What do you have to say for yourself? SCOTT Uh. 63 STACEY (O. (CONTINUED) .) I’m literally about to leave. something a fuckball like you wouldn't know anything about. Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into64 INT. not happy. Are you still working? 65. mouthing that she has to go.
Listen. No biggie. I know it’s hard to be around me sometimes. FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT'S HEART IN THE ASS. B Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop. She looks at the floor. SCOTT So I can pick up my coffee over here? RAMONA. You kind of disappeared. RAMONA Sorry that got a little crazy last night." The icy. I do that. SCOTT Me? Wreak havoc? Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom. They share an awkward moment. I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: 66. SCOTT No. A .. but I don’t think anything can really get in the way of how I SHIT! F T Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into.the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster.. platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott. RAMONA SCOTT I mean. RAMONA Yeah.. 64 JULIE Maybe it’s high fucking time you took a look in a mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl. I want to hang. "ENVY ADAMS. 23. The whole evil ex-boyfriend thing. JULIE Fucking speaking of fucking which. (CONTINUED) A Exes. I know it's early days. SCOTT Yeah. No. I’ll understand if you don’t want to hang anymore..
INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (2) 67. SCOTT Yeah. 64 SCOTT (CONT'D) It's my ex. I know. RAMONA I’m gonna. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona.excuse me. ENVY Great. You left me for a guy I’ve never even seen. RAMONA The big one? Scott nods. F (CONTINUED) T A ENVY Your hair is getting shaggy. SCOTT You left me! For that cocky pretty boy! ENVY You’ve never even seen him. That’s Ramona? SCOTT Yeah. leaving Envy to fix on Scott. . I’m jealous. Ramona goes to order coffee. ENVY Okay... SCOTT YOU’RE jealous? B A ENVY I’m allowed. You’re so on the list. We’re playing Lee’s Palace. ENVY Maybe you’ll see him soon. SCOTT Yeah? ENVY So. You guys should like. SCOTT That’s so not going to happen. REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT. so totally come.
what did you guys talk about? A (CONTINUED) RAMONA So.. That didn’t end well either.. RAMONA Envy’s jealous? How about that? SCOTT Yeah. This guy Todd. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET . that was Envy. SCOTT I can see how it sucks.INTEGRATED FINAL 64 CONTINUED: (3) 68. How. F T RAMONA So. 64 Envy disappears into the cappucino mists.that was Nat? . you heard they were sleeping together I guess? SCOTT RAMONA I dated a Todd once. About. RAMONA What happened with the two of you? B A Basically.. SCOTT She’s totally jealous of you. JULIE Caramel Fuckiato for fuck Pilgrim! SCOTT (to Ramona) It’s pronounced “Scott”. Ramona returns. sipping their coffees.. 65 EXT. That. Having the past come back to haunt you. SCOTT Do you mind if we don’t get into that right now? (beat) She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend. 65 SCOTT No.DAY Scott and Ramona walk side by side. RAMONA And two weeks later.
65 RAMONA Is it wrong that I try not to think about it? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: 68A.
Scott and Young Neil. Mm. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . 66 Scott stands (no pants). Music swells. Tricky. F WALLACE JIMMY T A (CONTINUED) .NIGHT Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon. Just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over. A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim. I will think of Envy Adams no more! 67 67 INT. SCOTT Double negative. 65 SCOTT What do you want to think about? RAMONA How warm my place is right now... JIMMY Is that the Uma Thurman movie? WALLACE Scott. From this moment on. OTHER SCOTT And you didn't bang her? Are you gay? SCOTT I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend. Ramona stops and kisses him.DAY STEPHEN STILLS I have distressing news. B A Word. Move on.INTEGRATED FINAL 65 CONTINUED: (2) 69. OTHER SCOTT It’s over. SCOTT Right. A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all. I’m not gonna let her toy with me. 66 INT. Ramona lounges on the couch. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .
The Clash At Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: 69A. STEPHEN STILLS No. 67 KIM PINE Is the news that we suck? Because I really don’t think I can take it. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . And Envy asked us to open for them.
EVENING B A Yeah. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face.. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona. We need stalkers. Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing. Is a gig.. We need groundswell. For the band? SCOTT Can’t we do our own secret shows? Stills paces past the window to reveal. 67 SCOTT I hate you. We need to get some buzz going.INTEGRATED FINAL 67 CONTINUED: (2) 70. DRUG SMART . KNIVES CHAU He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him! F T STEPHEN STILLS We’re doing it. G-man might be there! We play the next round of the battle Saturday.KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. A KIM PINE All our shows are secret shows. SCOTT What would you do? If your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them? 68 INT. we’re all adults right? 68 KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone. STEPHEN STILLS A gig is a gig is a gig. You know. . SCOTT Yeah. for the band? For the band. RAMONA If my ex was in the band? SCOTT RAMONA It might be a little awkward. pressed against the window. But maybe it’s the grown up thing to do.
.. eyes narrowing.EVENING Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara. 68A INT. (CONTINUED) ..EVENING 68B TAMARA We should rinse- TAMARA She's cool? I thought she was fat- Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair.so good.INTEGRATED FINAL 71. A Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot. KNIVES’ BATHROOM . KNIVES CHAU He only likes her cause she's old! She's probably like 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl. so he tried to find someone cool but old. KNIVES’ BEDROOM . B A Why? KNIVES CHAU Well she THINKS she's cool. TAMARA F KNIVES CHAU I mean. you know? TAMARA I think you mentioned she was fa- 68A 68B INT. T KNIVES CHAU She's got a head start! I didn't even know there WAS good music until like two months ago! Okay. This is all her fault. Knives throws a long scarf on. KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Oh God. isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late! Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA. KNIVES CHAU It MUST be her fault. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever. this really burns.I look so.. looking sexy. he knew I was cool but he thought I was too young.
Ramona excuses herself. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage. 71 71 INT. so(to Scott and Kim) Okay. Bar. Did we suck? RAMONA I don’t know.CONTINUOUS A 70 .NIGHT 69 A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. LEE’S PALACE . drunk. But I know how to get him back. as she plots. STEPHEN STILLS Thank you. 68B KNIVES CHAU (CONT'D) Scott Pilgrim destroyed my heart. STEPHEN STILLS We got some merch out the back.LATER A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar. The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer. F T 70 INT. Now. LEE'S PALACE . B A STEPHEN STILLS Level with me. PUSH into Knives. Tamara pops into frame. OMFG UR SO HOTT” 69 EXT. Did you? STEPHEN STILLS She has to go.INTEGRATED FINAL 68B CONTINUED: 72. LEE’S PALACE . TAMARA How? We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen: “YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors.Sold out’. We were Sex Bob-Omb. She knows we suck. A sign reads ‘THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD .
looking hot. LEE'S PALACE . LEE'S PALACE. standing next to Ramona. 17. Or is it.. clothes and makeup. KIM PINE I bet Young Neil will date her even briefly-er. Knives follows. KNIVES CHAU Hey Scott. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back.INTEGRATED FINAL 73. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy. SCOTT What the hell? B A KIM PINE Look who Knives is hanging with. RAMONA Hey. RAMONA What the hell? 73 INT.MOMENTS LATER Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar.MOMENTS LATER 72 Ramona does her eyeliner. F T .. LADIES BATHROOM . Knives shoots Scott a sultry look. Briefly. A 73 (CONTINUED) Ramona exits. "KNIVES CHAU. KNIVES CHAU Hey Ramona. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. confused. SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair. 72 INT. SCOTT Briefly. RAMONA Who is that girl again? STEPHEN STILLS Scottdatedher.
. I gotta pee. (CONTINUED) .. one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around..” and “Who. A I know. (turns beet red) I mean.. Knives screams her teen brains out.. he cuts a handsome. RAMONA ENVY SCOTT ENVY F THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize. LEE’S PALACE. revealing a stunning figure. her?” SCOTT I gotta pee on her.. striking ROCK GOD figure. FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN" SCOTT Oh no. Stares at Scott.” The wheel sticks between “I gotta pee. He’s alone. Envy lets her coat slip off.MOMENTS LATER 74 75 A freaked out Scott returns to the group. 25. ENVY in a long black coat. The BASS PLAYER steps into the light. You know? Oh yeah. with selections such as “It was nothing” and “She was nobody. (sing songy) Peee time.MOMENTS LATER T A 74 INT. Pee time. SPOOKY MUSIC begins. 75 INT. Oh yeah. B Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. EVIL-EX #3. MENS BATHROOM . LEE’S PALACE . SCOTT That guy on bass? That’s Todd. no longer shrouded in dry ice.INTEGRATED FINAL 73 CONTINUED: 74. "TODD INGRAM. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke. Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back. 73 RAMONA How old is she? A “WHEEL OF FORTUNE” spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD.
INTEGRATED FINAL 75 CONTINUED: 74A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .LATER 76 Sex Bob-Omb. Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors. LEE'S PALACE . 75 ENVY OH YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 76 INT.
YOUNG NEIL Scottdatedher.INTEGRATED FINAL 76 CONTINUED: 75. 76 KNIVES CHAU Oh my God. Knives makes a face that looks like this: 77 >:O !!!! 77 INT. RAMONA Hey Todd. Envy burns a hole through Scott. SCOTT All of us? JULIE Did I fucking stutter? The group shuffles backstage.NIGHT SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA .. A F KNIVES CHAU How do you know Envy??? T A (CONTINUED) . Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them. JULIE I can't believe I'm even saying this. Oh. They’re so much better live. LEE’S PALACE. but Envy Adams would like all of you to come backstage. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man. TODD INGRAM Been a while. Everyone else feels. Julie opens the backstage door and huffs. RAMONA Mmm hmm.“AWKWARD”. YOUNG NEIL Man.. SCOTT I think I’m going to throw up. TODD INGRAM Hey Ramona. B Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. Envy. TODD INGRAM Mmm hmm. you have to see them live. Just oh my God.
She’s got a write-up in Spin! KNIVES CHAU You’re my role model Envy. right? (CONTINUED) F STEPHEN STILLS So what’s your ulterior motive Envy. they’reENVY I’m talking to Ramona right now..Scott and Ramona eh? RAMONA What of it? ENVY You guys are a cute couple. We played the Chaos Theatre for Gideon. Stephen.. Todd and Julie glare at Knives. Did you get those jeans in New York.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: 76. KNIVES CHAU Um. 77 RAMONA (whispers to Scott) I think we should get out of here. I like your outfit Ramona. JULIE Ramona lived in New York. You know him. B A JULIE She doesn’t need ulterior motives. JULIE How was the tour? You played with The Pixies? You’re a superstar now! ENVY It’s-yeah. you know? You suit each other. it’s not something I can really put into words. ENVY Just saying. ENVY I was just there. ENVY So. Affordable? JULIE I was going to say. Envy. cute couple... in general? T A .Envy? I read your blog.
She is about to answer when...Knives stands up. 77 Scott looks at Ramona. POINTS at Envy and SCREAMSKNIVES CHAU I'VE KISSED THE LIPS THAT KISSED YOU! B A (CONTINUED) F T A .INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (2) 76A.
you cocky cock! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. Hair. SCOTT KK. choking.my neck.. 77 Envy nods at Todd. I’m a rock star. B A F T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Knives!? Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. are you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? TODD INGRAM Fun? In Toronto? SCOTT That is IT. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK... Todd sits back down like nothing happened. FACING OFF against Todd Ingram. ENVY Didn’t you know? Todd’s Vegan.. grasping his neck. JULIE So.. Of. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage. YOUNG NEIL You punched the highlights out of her hair! ANGLE on Knives.. Scott hovers. ENVY You’re incorrigible.. TODD INGRAM It’s not a big deal. Her hair is black and plain as before. Out. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet..INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (3) 77. Todd smirks. TODD INGRAM That’s right. Scott boils. TODD INGRAM I don’t know the meaning of the word.yy. Her. YOUNG NEIL He punched the highlights. Young Neil escorts Knives out.your hair.
Ramona helps Scott to his feet. SCOTT Ovo what? TODD INGRAM I partake not in the meat nor breastmilk or ovum of any creature that has a face.vegan. F Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air.anyone can be. SCOTT If I peed my pants. Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. question. TODD INGRAM Bingo. it’s because the other 90% is filled up with curds and whey. despite being in a lot of pain. 77 Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall.. I always wondered. how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers? TODD INGRAM You know how you only use ten percent of your brain? Well. A (CONTINUED) . T ENVY Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people.. While the others bicker. SCOTT No kidding.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (4) 78. He moans in pain.. KIM PINE Did you learn that at Vegan Academy? TODD INGRAM Go ahead and get snippy baby. would you pretend I just got wet from the rain? B A STEPHEN STILLS Hey man. maybe I’d listen to a word you’re saying.. TODD INGRAM Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe. Scott sails out of shot and into space. to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. if you knew the science. He tries to keep cool.
INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (5) 78A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 77 RAMONA It’s not raining.
so I dumped him.) A week and a half later. scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona. It’s pretty crazy. RAMONA Look. How about you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole? RAMONA Is that really important right now? SCOTT If there’s a key element in his backstory that can help me out in a critical moment of not dying? Yes. A brief.like that. Nobody cared. SCOTT Have you dumped everyone you’ve ever been with? You’ve never been the dumpee? Ramona shrugs. A (CONTINUED) . We wrecked stuff.) We hated everyone. RAMONA (V. 77 SCOTT Oh.) He punched a hole in the moon for me. It’s part of the reason I moved here. Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff.) I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. I’ve dabbled with being a bitch.O.. RAMONA (V. RAMONA (V. but I used to be kind of. I guess that’s not very nice. B A F T Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd. Scott can only fixate on one aspect.O.O. It was pretty crazy.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (6) 79. RAMONA (V. I was really hoping to put it all behind me.O. Nobody cares. Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy. Does that help you at all? The FLASHBACK ends..
. And the cleaning lady. you can’t win this fight and you’ll have to give up on this girl.. so what’s on Monday? TODD INGRAM Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off. SCOTT You used to be so. Capiche? Understand? (CONTINUED) . ‘cos Todd is going to kill you..Monday. SCOTT TODD INGRAM Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds..ready for another round. We hear a distant CRUMP.. SCOTT He and me. Right? ENVY Basically.. She dusts. Scott CHARGES at Todd. we’re going to Pizza Pizza for a slice. STEPHEN STILLS Uh.sort of ready for another round.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (7) 80. call us when you’re done. so.cleans up.. 77 Todd appears behind Ramona .. TODD INGRAM We have unfinished business.. TODD INGRAM Don’t you talk to me about grammar! TODD INGRAM Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday..dust.dislike you.. What? TODD INGRAM Because you’ll be dust by Monday. Stills calls through the hole.nice! F Um. T SCOTT A SCOTT I.. who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. B A SCOTT Sorry. I and he! Scott stands up .
77 ENVY Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (8) 80A. he’ll be done real soon. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
floating towards Scott with his bass. Todd calls to a roadie.INTEGRATED FINAL 77 CONTINUED: (9) 81. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott. the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. shredding him into oblivion. Envy grins at Ramona. holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering. Pilgrim. You’re through. Scott turns around on his knees. Suddenly. Scott crashes into a backstage food table. TODD INGRAM You’re going down. 79 (CONTINUED) . ENVY Sorry.CONTINUOUS 78 TODD INGRAM levitates. Todd floats toward him. Crummy way to end things. 78 INT. fauxhawk rising. SCOTT What say we drink to my memory? Fair trade blend with soymilk? B 79 INT. Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. 77 Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. picking the hell out of his bass. TODD INGRAM I can read your thoughts.CONTINUOUS A TODD INGRAM That’s right. cringing. He hovers next to him. Todd LEVITATES. amp pegged to 10. The good one. wicked. Your bass hand is badly injured. RATTY BACKSTAGE AREA. Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott. LEE’S PALACE. TODD INGRAM Get me my bass. F SCOTT The reverb is hurting my soul!!! T A SCOTT stands in an elephant's graveyard of plastic cups and bottles. I know. savoring the kill. Vegan Style! Todd lands in front of Scott. baby. LEE'S PALACE . I actually know how to play bass. Envy appears beside him with a smirk.
79 ENVY I’m sorry. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . but that's pathetic.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: 81A.
TODD INGRAM Gelato isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs. A . 79 TODD INGRAM Dude. you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827. VEGAN POLICE OFFICERS Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (2) 82. no vegan powers. I can see in your mind's eye that you poured Half & Half into one of these coffees in an attempt to make me break vegan edge. Thanks. TODD INGRAM What are you talking about? SCOTT You just drank Half & Half.m. bitch. but thought real hard about pouring it in that one. imbibement of Half & Half! T TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL. (CONTINUED) B A TODD INGRAM That’s bullroar! VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet. in my mind's eye or whatever. TODD INGRAM But this is a first offense! Don’t I get three strikes? F VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram. you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan. SCOTT Actually.. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a. you knowingly ingested Gelato. I'll take the one with soy. I poured soy in this cup. VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th.m. takes one of the cups and drinks. You know. tool. on February 1st. making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons. 7:30 p. Todd floats to the ground.
Julie pops into shot. TODD INGRAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCOTT You once were a vegone. RAMONA Crummy way to end things. Envy stares. B A SCOTT You kicked my heart in the ass. in shock. T TODD INGRAM A Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line. jaw ajar. (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Maybe they should. The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. but now you will be gone! Vegone? Scott HEADBUTTS TODD. Envy blinks. 79 Envy gasps. ENVY Sorry? You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst. Now let’s get out of here. I know. TODD INGRAM Chicken isn’t vegan? VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him.. ENVY No one calls me that anymore. F SCOTT Uh. Ramona follows. sorry I guess. disgusted.INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (3) 83. Natalie.. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut. So I guess we’re even. shooting Envy a look on the way out.
I think a third of the band just went “poom”..INTEGRATED FINAL 79 CONTINUED: (4) 84. PIZZA PIZZA . STEPHEN STILLS We’re still going to the after show right? KIM PINE I’m not sure it’s gonna be much of a party. I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her. STEPHEN STILLS Cool bands never go to their own after parties. RAMONA Are you okay? SCOTT Uh huh. 80 INT. And hot. That Todd guy was cool too. It’s just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with label guys. I liked him.oh.NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb. WALLACE Envy Adams.. I am so pissed off for you right now. Ramona and Scott. KIM PINE Then why would we. It’s an odd mood. A (CONTINUED) . you down? B A F T Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead. STEPHEN STILLS Neil. on the fringes. Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. 79 JULIE For the record. Julie. 80 OTHER SCOTT Yeah. RAMONA You sure about that? SCOTT Do I look like I’m not okay? Scott does not look okay. ENVY Shut the fuck up. Stills coughs.
RAMONA We really don’t have to go to this thing. It’ll probably be a bad scene all around and we’ve already had a full night. Oh. Scott takes another bite.NIGHT A Oh. So let’s go. lagging behind. Ramona falls back with him. Scott limps a bit. OTHER SCOTT WALLACE OTHER SCOTT 81 The whole gang trudge to the after party. not with fists. STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Scott? You’re in right? RAMONA Do you want to go? SCOTT I kind of almost died back there.. B 81 EXT.INTEGRATED FINAL 80 CONTINUED: 85. He shrugs.. we can totally go. RAMONA I’m not saying I want to go. AFTER PARTY . Hey. so. OTHER SCOTT Are Scott and Ramona fighting? WALLACE Not to my knowledge. RAMONA I’ll do whatever you want to do. Ooh. WALLACE I mean. Yet. 80 Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. F OTHER SCOTT T SCOTT A (CONTINUED) SCOTT . Other Scott whispers to Wallace.
I’m fine. It’s justRAMONA It’s just.INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: 85A...? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . I’m fine. 81 SCOTT No.
INTEGRATED FINAL 81 CONTINUED: (2)
SCOTT Well, not that fighting harder and harder battles for your love is getting old or anything...but have you ever dated someone who wasn’t a total ass? RAMONA So far you’re not a total ass. SCOTT But I’m part ass?
SCOTT Wait...is that good?
SCOTT But not...later?
SCOTT Yeah, I’d just like to live. Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE. 82 INT. AFTER PARTY - CONTINUOUS RAMONA Okay, I know Todd was bad news. But are you saying Envy wasn’t? We all have baggage. SCOTT My baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to your ex-boyfriends to make them so insane? RAMONA Exes. SCOTT Whatever82
RAMONA Scott, I don’t have all the answers. I’d just like to live in the moment if I can.
RAMONA It’s what I need right now.
RAMONA If it makes you feel better, you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED:
RAMONA No break up is painless. Someone always gets hurt. What about you and that girl Knives? SCOTT Knives? RAMONA Who broke up with who? SCOTT I believe...I broke up with her.
SCOTT Knives is with Young Neil now, she’s totally cool with it.
They pass Knives and Young Neil. She seemingly has no interest in her date and simply stares at Scott lovingly. RAMONA You sure about that?
We hear an offscreen distant ‘nooooo’ from Knives.
They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.
RAMONA And what about you and Kim?
SCOTT Me and Kim? I can barely remember. Why, is it important? RAMONA Hey, you want to know everything about my past, dude. SCOTT It was just...yeah. I don’t know. It was high school. She had freckles. It was cool, I guess. RAMONA SCOTT Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
SCOTT Yeah. She’s very mature for her age. It was a very healthy break up. We’re all peaches and gravy.
RAMONA And was she cool with that?
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (2)
Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party. RAMONA That’s really the whole story? SCOTT OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy eighty foot tall purple suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! He was totally awesome and I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the earth! Does that make you feel any better? RAMONA Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
SCOTT Sorry. I’m not usually like this.
PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER! SCOTT (CONT’D) Girl from earlier? RAMONA Roxy? Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle. SCOTT You know this girl?
SCOTT I guess this whole ex-boyfriends thing is really messing with my head. RAMONA
SCOTT Why do you keep saying-
RAMONA Hey, don’t worry. I don’t know what I’m like anymore.
In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.
Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. no one can. 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE.” RAMONA It was just a phase... If Gideon can’t have you. F T A (CONTINUED) .. does she know me.. 82 ROXY Oh boy. ROXY Just a phase? SCOTT You had a sexy phase? RAMONA I didn’t think it would count! It meant nothing. RAMONA Then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here..talking about? ROXY He really doesn’t know? SCOTT (ping!) You and her?! “ROXY RICHTER. B A ROXY Well honey. Roxy flips out of the hold.is. The League hath spoken. clearing the busy dance floor. 23.she.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (3) 89. ‘cos I’m about to kick yours out of the Great White North. ROXY Back off hasbian. I’m a little bi-furious! RAMONA Do that again and I will end you.. SCOTT What. ROXY It meant nothing??? RAMONA I was just a little bi-curious. The girls square off. Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face.
RAMONA I’d rather be dead than go back. KICK HER IN THE BALLS. RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse. He’s a creep. Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture. Ramona. It smashes a speaker. (CONTINUED) B A ROXY I’m sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces. Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. The belt wraps around it. leaving a dent in it. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window. RAMONA Believe it. This is a League game. She BLOCKS with the hammer. Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall. you slag. An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd. PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. Sound on one side of the room cuts out. you’re a bitch and you all deserve each other. F WALLACE Oh yeah. SCOTT Wallace? WALLACE SCOTT This is happening right? WALLACE SCOTT I mean. ROXY Give it a rest.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (4) 90. With blinding speed. this is live? Uh huh. Mirrored shards fly everywhere. LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. 82 ROXY You unbelievable bitch. RAMONA! T A Uh huh? .
INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (5) 90A. ROXY Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists. 82 RAMONA Meaning? Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Or possibly feet.
ISCOTT F T A PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. winces. RAMONA You don’t have a choice... Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee. lazy ass! ROXY (CONT’D) Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (6) 91. ROXY (CONT’D) Your B. still in the splits.. GRAPHIC: “TICKLE TICKLE!” ROXY Oh.F’s about to get F’d in the B! RAMONA Her weak point’s the back of her knees! SCOTT What? How does that work? As Roxy’s leg descends. Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent.never. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. Roxy falls. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room... Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms. kicking them apart with the splits. She grins at Ramona. 82 SCOTT I’m not sure I can hit a girl. She staggers. He lands HARD on the floor. Roxy lifts her leg over her head. throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. ROXY (CONT’D) You’ll. Some sooner than others. (CONTINUED) B A Okay. RAMONA Whenever we were making out.be able to do this to herrrrrrrrrrr! Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. They’re soft. .. ROXY Fight your own battles.
82 The party starts up again. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . a wave of gossip spreading around the room.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (7) 91A. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott.
Looks hurt. Why? Did you want one? Scott swigs down his drink. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Only on special occasions. Ramona tries to lighten things. RAMONA Sooooo. F SCOTT Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes so at least I know who’s going to beat my ass into the ground next. RAMONA I thought you didn’t drink. 82 Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. RAMONA I really think we should split. SCOTT As in ‘get out of here’? Or as in ‘split split’? B A RAMONA Oh.. She touches her hair. like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I can find one.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (8) 92. The gossip echoes around them. (looks through bag) Maybe we could exchange our information.. Scott has already downed his second drink. Ramona follows tentatively. SCOTT Just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being. is there anyone at this party you haven’t slept with? EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY HEY! Ramona stops. RAMONA I guess we really don’t know that much about each other do we? Scott seems immediately drunk. SCOTT Two gin and tonics please.
Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass? B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 82 RAMONA I’d hope you could figure that out.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (9) 92A.
there is someone at this party I haven’t slept with. Ramona leaves. STEPHEN STILLS’ HOUSE . GIDEON. INGRAM. You. In fact I’m sick of it. SCOTT (holds up 2 fingers) I’ve had like one drink.. F RAMONA (CONT’D) And yes. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party. It reads“PATEL.Ramona returns. T RAMONA You’re just another evil exboyfriend waiting to happen. RAMONA (CONT’D) P.INTEGRATED FINAL 82 CONTINUED: (10) 93. Ramona exits proper. LEE. I thought you might be more understanding. Scott looks at the list. RICHTER. SCOTT I just- Ramona walks off and loudly announces. identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops. A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins? STEPHEN STILLS You don’t know? 83 Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS. RAMONA Dirty laundry. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room.S.. Here’s your stupid list.” 83 INT. I don’t enjoy all this Scott. You’re drunk. handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST. KATAYANAGI TWINS. RAMONA Well I’m sorry I cared. 82 SCOTT How could I not? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public.NIGHT B A But then . STEPHEN STILLS They’re the next band in the battle and they are badass.
INTEGRATED FINAL 83 CONTINUED:
We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona. KIM PINE Ramona dated twins? SCOTT Apparently. YOUNG NEIL At the same time? SCOTT You know what? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. STEPHEN STILLS Good. You know how I feel about girls cockblocking the rock.
STEPHEN STILLS If it’s gonna be an issue though, Young Neil can fill in for you.
EXT. THE NINTH CIRCLE - NIGHT Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. We’re doomed. YOUNG NEIL Oh...
STEPHEN STILLS Well, we’d understand if you didn’t want to take part. SCOTT Not only do I want to take part. I want to take them apart. STEPHEN STILLS Okay. I’m getting tingles. YOUNG NEIL 84
SCOTT It’s not an issue. You know bands, I know battles. We got it covered.
SCOTT Good. I play better in a bad mood.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED:
Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue; “T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!” KIM PINE That flyer needs more exclamation marks.
INTEGRATED FINAL 84 CONTINUED: (2)
STEPHEN STILLS Oh, we are going to get killed. YOUNG NEIL Come on. You’re onstage in five. SCOTT Aren’t the Katamaris or whatever on first? YOUNG NEIL I think you’re both on first?
SCOTT That’s impossible85
Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them. SCOTT Okay. My bad.
KIM PINE Your bad is saying my bad. Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS. STEPHEN STILLS We shouldn’t even be here. We shouldn’t even be here.
Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back. SCOTT Come on man! I put aside my problems for the music. If I can do that, we can do anything. KIM PINE Did you speak to Ramona then? SCOTT What? No. I haven’t seen her since the other night.
INT. THE NINTH CIRCLE, STAGE - NIGHT
STEPHEN STILLS Wait...amp versus amp? We’re going on stage at the same time?
She’s totally here.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: 95A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 85 KIM PINE Oh.
23.. (CONTINUED) . ThenDisorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage. F KIM PINE STEPHEN STILLS T A And I really don’t care. KYLE KATAYANAGI.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (2) 96. sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands.S. Scott. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN. is very serious and Japanese. Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look. we can do this. She looks happy. The crowd cheers.) They brought the house down.. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling. is serious and very Japanese.. 23. blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb... Right? KIM PINE Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him.. and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses..THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear. 85 Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. Now an open air venue. B Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard. They are chatting. Scott and Stills get into battle position. SCOTT Thanks KiKIM PINE Scott nods at Kim’s advice.but you should talk to her before she’s gone. KIM PINE Scott? Not that I care. STEPHEN STILLS Okay gang. Can we do this? I mean. Scott turns bleak again.. She is totally there. leaving a huge hole in the roof. Scott screams! A Scott? Scott! Right. SNOW falls onto the stage. AUDIENCE DUDE (O. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb. KEN KATAYANAGI. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. A wall of FEEDBACK builds.
The crowd ERUPTS into cheers. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! A Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. SCOTT Gideon. Scott. fighting in time to the music! Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES.INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (3) 97. then helps Kim up. 37. inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude. ASSHOLE. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. For once. their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE: B Kim.is here? Where? SCOTT That’s Gideon? Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI! The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb. T A (CONTINUED) . They share a nod. who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. STEPHEN STILLS Let’s break up now and get it over with. We’re done. We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. they sound awesome. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet. comes in heavy on the kick drum. SCOTT Alright. Kyle looks at Ken. Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments. He struggles to his feet.. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for “11”. The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage. slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music. Let’s do this! F Stills points to the “Mystery Geek”. This is GIDEON GRAVES. 85 SCOTT WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! 1-2-3-4! Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT.. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON! Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs.
. RAMONA Yeah.NIGHT 86 Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue. I have something I need to tell you. different. SCOTT Ramona. He can’t find Ramona. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil. but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears. What are you doing? . THE NINTH CIRCLE . different. A (CONTINUED) STEPHEN STILLS Scott. Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd. SCOTT Ramona..INTEGRATED FINAL 85 CONTINUED: (4) 98. SCOTT You seem. eyes narrowing. F T Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the stillapplauding crowd. Scott follows. hovering next to Scott.. Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause.was epic. KNIVES CHAU I feel like I know stuff now. KNIVES CHAU I just came to see the show.. I have something to- A Knives shrugs. “+999 ROCKING” KIM PINE That. SCOTT Getting a life. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building.. I’m not even stalking you. The crowd goes bazooky. Knives watches him go. but she and Gideon are gone. B Scott and Knives lock eyes. 85 The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins. 86 EXT. EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS.
I don’t care about any of that stuff. I know you just play mysterious and aloof to avoid getting hurt. And I want you to know.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: 98A. really mean it. . Listen. Why? Because I’m in lesbians with you. I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past. 86 SCOTT (rushed) Great. RAMONA What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A SCOTT I really.
Scott glowers. Scottie. GIDEON GRAVES See? I’m not such a bad guy after all. The Lincoln parks. VOICE (O... is I’m officially loving the Sex Bombs.it's not going to work out. GIDEON GRAVES You know.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (2) 99.. SCOTT A sleek black ‘61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind. GIDEON GRAVES Three piece rock outfit with a semiattractive female drummer? Music to my earholes.) That’s the bad news. What? SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. Stills is ga-ga. 86 RAMONA Oh.. I’m signing you right now for a three album deal. F SCOTT GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. GIDEON GRAVES The good news. Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen. Okay. I just. captioned “PEE”. Oh okay.. SCOTT What did you want to tell me? RAMONA That we have to break up. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch.S. T RAMONA It’s Gideon.. B A Bob-omb. Ramona looks at the floor. A driver opens the passenger door.I can’t help myself around him. A (CONTINUED) . I’m not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 86 Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (3) 99A.
He slaps his headSCOTT I said ‘lesbians’! B A Young Neil signs the contract. A . Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln. Forgiven? Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. you would have never been with Ramona. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder. There are hand shakes all round. Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. GIDEON Oh and Scott. we should really be thanking each other. F T STEPHEN STILLS The people need to hear us. the whole League of Evil Exes thing? I was in a dark place when I put that together. Kim shrugs and signs it too. GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. before trying to hand it back to Scott. she wouldn’t be back with me. A meek Young Neil slides into view. GIDEON And hey. 86 SCOTT You think we’re gonna sell our souls to you? Well then guessWe hear SCRIBBLING. Scott. keep your emotions in check. SCOTT Nuh-uh. A cough. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection. Scott stands alone. but if it wasn’t for you. can I just say. SCOTT Then you’re going to need to find someone else to play bass. buddy. I mean. bass in hand. Don’t let what’s past screw up your future. So I guess it all shakes out. GIDEON Looks like we’re all set. if it wasn’t for me. I can’t be part of the band with this douche-in-charge.INTEGRATED FINAL 86 CONTINUED: (4) 100.
..NIGHT Scott sits on the bus alone. Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car. 87 B A (CONTINUED) F T A .. 87 INT.. A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona. Scott tries desperately to think positive.... thinking about Ramona.. THE BUS / GIDEON’S LINCOLN .INTEGRATED FINAL 100A.
Day turns to night. “OH GOD WHY” A88 EXT.) TURN OFF THE LIGHT! Scott flicks the light off. SCOTT The wha? STACEY I mean.NIGHT Scott enters. Scott remains in the exact same position.S. Well that’s not so bad.NIGHT / DAY / NIGHT Scott sits on the swings.S. STACEY Time heals all wounds. did you really see a future with this girl? SCOTT Like. 88 INT. staring straight ahead. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Night turns to day. Maybe next time let’s not date the girl with eleven evil exboyfriends. “THONK”. Flicks the light on.with jetpacks? Stacey stands to go. little brother. 88 B A STACEY Oh.) Was she really the one? (CONTINUED) . Stacey heads off.INTEGRATED FINAL 87 CONTINUED: 101. THE PARK . gives Scott a hug.... Over PITCH BLACK. Scott looks at the camera. A88 Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him. Gets a shock. SCOTT Aaah! WALLACE (O. 87 Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. F T A STACEY (O.. SCOTT Seven.
WALLACE I may need it the rest of the week too. WALLACE (O.INTEGRATED FINAL 88 CONTINUED: 102.) Sorry.S) Presumably you just saw someone’s junk. But you know. A Right. B Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head. you know I love you. VOICE (O. SCOTT And the year.LATER A 89 (CONTINUED) VOICE (O. Scott sits in the chair. WALLACE Ah.) Was that Other Scott or Jimmy or someone? WALLACE (O. SCOTT She’s with Gideon. and I apologize for that. That sucks. Wallace hands Scott cocoa. wrapped in a blanket. 89 INT.) Or someone. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). But I need my own bed tonight.S. Right. T .S. WALLACE'S APARTMENT .) It’s Chris. 88 WALLACE (O.S. it’s probably just because he’s better than you.) It’s Chris. F SCOTT WALLACE Scott.S. SCOTT WALLACE Maybe you can move in with Ramona. I get it. For sex.S. SCOTT (O.
89 Scott nods.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: 102A. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE He’ll certainly have better hair. Scott nods.
I don’t want any hard feelings. 91 (CONTINUED) .) Yeah. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . Are you with me? RAMONA (O. I just spilled cocoa on my crotch. SCOTT RINGY RING.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GIDEON GRAVES Geez buddy. Scott stares at the phone. SCOTT (O. INT. pal.INTEGRATED FINAL 89 CONTINUED: (2) 103. T A Thanks.S. Just wanted to say I feel terrible about earlier. GIDEON'S LAIR . it’s gonna be alright.CONTINUOUS A SCOTT Is Ramona with you? 90 Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. 89 WALLACE Either way.CONTINUOUS SCOTT No. SOME GUY It’s for Scott. I think this fight is over. WALLACE You can sleep on the floor until you get somewhere else to stay.S.S. He calls off. Scott nods. B 91 GIDEON GRAVES I don't know. Some guy picks up. so I figured why not be the bigger man and give you a call. Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask.) Hey. I got you muffs and blinkers in case this might happen. F GIDEON GRAVES (O. SCOTT (takes phone) Hello? 90 INT.
amigo. Well as you know. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless. HIPSTER KID T A GIDEON GRAVES (O. alarmed. GIDEON GRAVES Okay laters. What do you say? .S) Sure you did. I don’t want anymore bad blood between ex’s. Scott turns. leaning against a warehouse wall. SCOTT Mm. The Hipster Kid waves Scott in. F SCOTT WALLACE (O. B Password? Scott shrugs. Maybe I’ll see you there.) What a perfect asshole. They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing. SCOTT (grim) Yeah. and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren’t there. 91 GIDEON GRAVES (O.) I hope so.S. Whatever. STREETS OF TORONTO .INTEGRATED FINAL 91 CONTINUED: 104. Click. 92 EXT. HIPSTER KID Cool.S. I’m opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto and The Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight. Finish him. 92 Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water.NIGHT A WALLACE Forget what I said earlier. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette.
93 INT. WAREHOUSE .NIGHT 93 The warehouse is empty. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. B A F T A . So far so good. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator. HIPSTER KID Second password? Scott gives the slightest shrug.INTEGRATED FINAL 104A. Scott steps into the elevator. HIPSTER KID Cool.
SCOTT What if I have a beef. Ramona kneels at his side. A Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. wearing identical outfits. skinny jeans. All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery.. COMEAU holds court among them. (CONTINUED) .the CHAOS THEATRE. looking up at his former bandmates. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR! SCOTT I’m not here to drink. YOUNG NEIL on bass.with you? B A GIDEON GRAVES (O.) Scott Pilgrim! F SCOTT What if I want the satisfaction? T Scott pauses. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage.INTEGRATED FINAL 105. Somebody get this man a drink! Coke Zero right? A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song. They are legion. their first album is so much better than their first album. Don’t give him the satisfaction.CONTINUOUS 94 Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT.. Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. COMEAU Yeah.S. 94 INT. STEPHEN STILLS Well.. now using SWEET BRAND amps.. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! STEPHEN STILLS (CONT’D) Let it go. Chuck Taylors. then you’re doomed. CHAOS THEATRE . GIDEON GRAVES I got no beef with you. welcome to the Chaos Theatre. GIDEON GRAVES Hey buddy.
.O.. Gideon smiles. The lady made her choice and we’re all gonna have to move on. I’m in love with her. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest. whatever. A new power comes over Scott. SCOTT Well I ain’t moving.) Scott earned the power of love. GIDEON GRAVES I think this deserves a song. GIDEON GRAVES Now why on earth do you want to do that? SCOTT Because. Gideon puts his arm around Ramona. (CONTINUED) . League.buddy... Ramona looks away from Scott. flexes. Scott gets into a fighting stance. GIDEON GRAVES No use crying over spilt Coke. Gideon stands up. It’s ancient history. buddy. 94 GIDEON GRAVES Are you still mad about that whole thing with the Guild? SCOTT You mean “The League”? GIDEON Guild. Gideon loses his cool. Kimberly? B A Was that not clear? F GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? T A SCOTT I’ll show you how ancient of history it is. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. SCOTT Was that not clear? (to Sex Bob-Omb) Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. NARRATOR (V.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: 106.
Gideon approaches. Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other. and sell out and stuff. KNIVES CHAU (O. 18 YEARS OLD.. Gideon chuckles. My cane.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (2) 107. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger. both concerned and amazed. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. He slashes at them to the beat. exploding each attacker into COINS. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there.) SCOOOOOOOOOTT!!! KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands.S. by the way. A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM. Kim clicks out a fast tempo.. FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC” B A F T Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. ON BEAT. tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. (CONTINUED) . Then from above. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. 94 Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number. KIM PINE We are Sex Bob-Omb.Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL. Gideon raises his sword. GIDEON GRAVES That is priceless.. “KNIVES CHAU. She lands awkwardly. Scott looks to Knives.. then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. A Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon. GIDEON If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities. we are here to make money. SCOTT Your club sucks. Scott hits the ground HARD. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT. to administer a final blow. rolling to a stop.
your old old boyfriend brought this all on himself. Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest. throwing blocks and punches. distracted by his duelling exes. separating them. B A F Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively.INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (3) 108. I didn’t steal anyone. RAMONA What the hell is your deal? KNIVES CHAU You stole him with your advanced American slut technology. DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other. redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her. RAMONA I don’t know what you’re talking about. GIDEON lashes out at Scott. KUNG FU STYLE. 94 KNIVES CHAU You’ll pay for what you did to him! GIDEON GRAVES Listen. Kung Pao Chicken. He was warned plenty of times. But did he listen? Did he fKNIVES CHAU I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to HER! Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon. T A (CONTINUED) . He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows. RAMONA What? KNIVES CHAU YOU BROKE THE HEART THAT BROKE MINE! GET READY TO CHAU DOWN! Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona! RAMONA You’re kidding right? GIDEON You can’t say I don’t know how to put on a show. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away. sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid.
THE DREAM DESERT . . but.DAY Scott sits up next to a lone cactus....INTEGRATED FINAL 94 CONTINUED: (4) 109.maybe I kind of forgot to tell Knives right away.. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY. rubbing his temples. RAMONA You cheated on me with Knives? SCOTT No! I cheated on Knives.. 94 SCOTT Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody.. Knives. SCOTT Right? STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind..cheat.S.. but you can’t. neither amused. Scott! (eyes narrowing) You cheated on both of us.. RAMONA Is there a difference? SCOTT You weren’t wronged? Scott breaks into a flop sweat. GIDEON (O..Scott's eyes blink open.. Okay? (beat) I mean. 95 EXT..SAND blows through frame. KNIVES CHAU Then you cheated on me.. I dated you and then I dated Ramona.. Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground.) GIDEON GRAVES Scottie. TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: “DEAD” Everything goes white. F T (CONTINUED) A Knives and Ramona both look at Scott. 95 B A Game over! Knives and Ramona stare at Scott. You can cheat on these ladies all you want. With you.death...
fainter than before. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 95 SCOTT Ugh. Ramona appears out of nowhere.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: 109A.
. SCOTT Well. That’s why I had to leave. Seeing as I’m about to die. it was me who was obsessed.. maybe now would be the time to get into it. Dying probably sucks.. I mean. the truth is. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry. Why him? RAMONA It’s complicated. Ramona covers the chip. eh? B A SCOTT Well. SCOTT So this kinda sucks for everybody.. revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull. and that’s when he started paying attention. SCOTT That is evil. I really will leave you alone forever now. Scott. I was crazy about him. He just. that’s legitimately disappointing. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.. T A (CONTINUED) . SCOTT So why go back? Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head. he literally has a way of getting into my head. self-consciously touching her hair... RAMONA No. RAMONA He’s like that.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (2) 110. F RAMONA I can’t help myself around him.. RAMONA Alright. But he ignored me. has a way of getting into my head. SCOTT You know what sucks? Getting killed by THAT guy.
The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott. I really fought for you back there. SCOTT . Scott slumps to his knees. We had a good run. 96 INT. I guess.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.. SCOTT You can’t say I didn’t try. He flicks the light on.. Which would be great if I wasn’t dead. B We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD... The winds blow harder. SCOTT So. Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany. DA-DING. A Ahhhhhh. Ramona is gone. as Scott enters. RAMONA Uh-huh. F SCOTT Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart.. WALLACE'S APARTMENT . SCOTT Knives? RAMONA I wish I was ever as fanatically devoted to anything as that girl is to you.NIGHT 96 We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment.INTEGRATED FINAL 95 CONTINUED: (3) 111. .. T A (CONTINUED) RAMONA But someone was fighting pretty hard for you back there. Ramona seeming to fade away..so alone.. SCOTT I feel like I learned something. 95 RAMONA I’m sorry it had to end this way. then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb.
.. Chaos Theatre. SCOTT Wallace. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure. I was living in an ordinary world.S.S. I don’t want any hard feelings. that’s you.) F T A (CONTINUED) .S. hands him the phone.S. when my journey began. (beat) Tell him Scott Pilgrim is calling.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: 112. Sadly. WALLACE (O. I feel terrible about everything.. I approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal. pal. Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp.. Gideon Graves. On PITCH BLACK. enemies. I died..) Scott. SCOTT Could you put a robe on and hand me the phone? SCOTT Toronto. GIDEON GRAVES (O. a call I considered refusing. guy. There were tests. 96 SCOTT .AAAAAAAAAHHH! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SEE THAT AGAIN! SOME GUY (O. during which I totally seized the sword. allies. I need to ask one final favor of you. GIDEON GRAVES (O.) Sure thing. B A Um.) Turn off the light! Scott flicks the light off. But before I do that. told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. So I did. But my Mentor. so I figure why not be the bigger man and give you a call..S. I was just about toSCOTT Hey.) Again? WALLACE (O. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along.
Scott hangs up and heads for the door. hardcore. WALLACE GO KICK THAT GUY’S ASS! Wallace stands to high five Scott. sorry.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (2) 112A. 96 SCOTT Sorry. exposing his junk. B A (CONTINUED) F T A . WALLACE (CONT’D) Ah. what I meant to say is “I’m coming over to kill you”.
knocking them out. 99 INT. COMEAU Yeah. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about me.. Young Neil? You have learned well. STREETS OF TORONTO . SCOTT Your hair looks stupid. SCOTT (CONT’D) Sorry about. you shall be known as “Neil”. I know what I’m doing. B A Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb.INTEGRATED FINAL 96 CONTINUED: (3) 113.AGAIN. You guys sound better without me.DAY 97 Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. 97 EXT. From this point forward. 98 INT. The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS. SCOTT Don’t worry. WAREHOUSE . CHAOS THEATRE .CONTINUOUS DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON'S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE.. HIPSTER KID ‘Sup? SCOTT Whatever... Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces.. Stephen. And Kim? F T A (CONTINUED) . 96 SCOTT You seen one. STEPHEN STILLS Scott! Let it go..everything. the new line-up rocks. their first album is so99 Kim looks at Scott. Kim shrugs. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall.DAY 98 Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR. deadpan as ever.
INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: 113A. 99 Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever. B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
They land on opposite sides of the platform. Ramona at his side.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (2) 114. Ramona hands Gideon his cane. LEAPING in the air. exploding each attacker into COINS. different than before.) Scott Pilgrim! Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne. My cane.I want to fight you for me. B HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT.S. Scott goes straight into fight mode. 99 GIDEON GRAVES (O. You’re pretentious. backs to each other. Kim? Kim drives a hardcore beat.. A KIM PINE WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB.. the club sucks. GIDEON GRAVES Ramona. Ramona and Scott lock eyes. Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty Tshirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest.O. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. let’s do it. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD. I have beef. AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! F SCOTT NARRATOR (V. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. A strange new power overcomes Scott. welcome to the ChaosSCOTT Save it. He unsheathes his SWORD. A GIDEON GRAVES You want to fight me for her? (CONTINUED) . SCOTT How’s it going back there? GIDEON GRAVES You dick.) Scott earned the power of self-respect. GIDEON GRAVES (CONT’D) Hey buddy. T SCOTT No. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . Scott calls out. Dead. apparently. 99 Gideon falls down.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (3) 114A.
bloodied. They square off. Scott turns to Ramona... SCOTT (CONT'D) And. Scott jumps between them. I hurt you. Knives. RAMONA Never felt better. I cheated on you. KNIVES CHAU Steal my boyfriend. And I’m sorry. Knives pulling KNIVES. Ramona rubs the back of her head. hands held out.S.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (4) 115. We hear a METALLIC KLONK. ENOUGH! Knives tries to go around him. stunned. B A SCOTT I cheated on both of you. All turn to see GIDEON. but still grinning. I was a different guy back then. SCOTT No. a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk.) Are we all done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going here. taste my steel. Scott GRABS her wrists. GIDEON GRAVES (O. So. Knives steps back. 99 SCOTT Knives! I know you’re in here! Don’t attack RaKnives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. Ramona staggered. are we all good? F T KNIVES CHAU No. She didn’t mean that. Scott! This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge! A SCOTT (CONT’D) (CONTINUED) . KNIVES CHAU You cheated on me Scott? Knives’ frown melts. The CHIP no longer blinks. She kicks him in the face.you're not a fat ass.
B A (CONTINUED) F T A . 99 SCOTT Oh.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (5) 115A. Knives joins him. the three of them ready to rumble. GIDEON Ramona. Scott steps into a fighting stance. Are you with me? Ramona looks to Gideon. then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE. you got a fight alright.
He grins. Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE. 99 GIDEON (CONT’D) Wrong move. knocking her down. Scott ducks. He shakes off the assault and grins. The swords create an “X”.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (6) 116. Gideon BLOCKS. T A GIDEON (CONT’D) Yeah. They CLASH in the air. They barely dodge him. Gideon spins low. Ramona KICKS. expecting her to move. Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air. uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. dropping her. They fence. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. Knives whips off her scarf. GIDEON You made me swallow me gum. baby. Scott leaps in the air. SCOTT ATTACKS. Knives throws her knives. She looks doubtful. Scott’s sword SHATTERS. Gideon hits her back. takes a hesitant step towards him. Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP . spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years! F Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES. his HEALTH BAR increases. He cuts big arcs at Scott. RAMONA Let’s both be girls. Knives attacks and scores a hit. Gideon swings at Scott. Ramona knees Gideon in the balls. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them. .his glasses glow. Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Gideon BLOCKS. Gideon spins again and swings upward. Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear. Knives and Ramona. disarms Scott with one move. Gideon jumps after him. You’re still my girl. (CONTINUED) B A Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. He makes an “X” with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD. SHING SHING! Gideon wheels towards Ramona.
Me? I’m what’s hip. A Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. sending him spinning. sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact. You’re zero. I’m blowing up right now. then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott. COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches. Knives and Scott share a look. You know how long it took to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like two hours! T Gideon lands HARD on his knees. Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. A pain in my ass. F GIDEON (CONT’D) Who do you think you are Pilgrim? You think you’re better than me? I’ll tell you what you are. From the floor. They Get up and circle Gideon. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE. 99 Scott lands hard. Not long now. I’m what’s happening. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. B A GIDEON (CONT’D) You’re not cool enough for Ramona. She lands painfully at the bottom. defeated. One lens of his glasses cracks.. she kicks him in the back of the head. cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword.. (CONTINUED) . Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. You’re nothing.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (7) 116A.
KIM PINE There goes our deal. awake now.. SCOTT RAMONA Yeah. Scott and Knives kiss. STEPHEN STILLS We’re still getting paid.. Gideon’s head EXPLODES. Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins. makes her way towards them. 99 SCOTT You’re right. Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. YOUNG NEIL Whoa.. his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. Then his body follows suit in an almightyPOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SHIMMERING COINS rain down. RAMONA (O. Ramona.) You two make a good combo. Oh.S. The coin rain continues.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (8) 117. Yeah? B A F KIM PINE There goes our deal. They share a smile.. I’m not cool enough for Ramona. Right now. And you got another thing right. right? Kim points to the falling coins. You are blowing up. YOUNG NEIL T A (CONTINUED) .
. He’s a super-nice guy. They chat amiably.. Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance. The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side. Scott runs his fingers through his hair.. A F T A Negascott! (CONTINUED) . SCOTT No. spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. B Scott strolls out with Negascott.) You can defeat me. nothing.INTEGRATED FINAL 99 CONTINUED: (9) 118. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona.. Fringed hair.. Knives and Ramona. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses.. This is something I have to face on my own. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes. 100-103 OMITTED 104 100-103 104 EXT. Then. 99 The trio walk down the pyramid steps. KNIVES CHAU What happened? SCOTT Aw...but can you defeat. Both take a step forward. THE WAREHOUSE .. Dark clothes. We actually have a lot in common.EVENING Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. The glasses GLIMMER. They look expectantly at the entrance. GIDEON’S VOICE (O. KNIVES CHAU Your hair. worried for Scott. Scott and Negascott face off.yourself? Scott peers into the glimmering lenses. KNIVES CHAU NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott.. We just shot the shit. shake hands and part ways. Evil face. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face.S.
INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: 118A. 104 SCOTT What? B A (CONTINUED) F T A .
hoping to slip away. SCOTT Hey. Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked. I should probably disappear. stops and turns back. literally taking his guard down.. I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me. 104 KNIVES CHAU It’s getting really shaggy. SCOTT For what? RAMONA For being the nicest guy I ever dated. He turns to see her. pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. B A RAMONA It's hard. Snow begins to fall. Steps tentatively away from Knives. though. F T Scott calls after her. RAMONA I dunno. SCOTT After all that? Ramona looks at Knives as she says this. You do? Scott smiles. Ramona sees this and smiles. then realizes Ramona has gone. but the past keeps catching up. Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head. A SCOTT (CONTINUED) . SCOTT I think I understand.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (2) 119. you know? I came here to get away. SCOTT Yeah? KNIVES CHAU I like it. Where are you going? Ramona. RAMONA I should tahnk you.. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly.
Before she’s gone. Ramona walks on into the night alone. Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives.Nega Scott also sidles into frame. but thenSCOTT (O... We hear a 2ND COUGH . We hear a COUGH .) Go get her. RAMONA (almost laughing) It is kind of sad.. I’m too cool for you anyway. then lets it drop. She turns to walk off again. Scott watches. Knives doesn’t look back. And stuff.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (3) 119A. SCOTT Yeah. A (CONTINUED) . mind if I tag along? B A KNIVES (totally sweet and sad) I’ll be fine. KNIVES There’s someone out there for me. You’ve been fighting for her all along. RAMONA Well.. F KNIVES You earned it. Bye and stuff. then hearsKNIVES (O.Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. but urges Scott toKNIVES Go talk to her. SCOTT Wha? SCOTT But what about you? She grins and kisses his cheek. Guitar still in hand. T Surprised. 104 SCOTT That’s kind of sad.S.S. She takes his hand briefly.) Hey.
1. B Scott and Ramona walk through the door. 104 Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside.2.O.. T Over this magical transformation.7... I mean bananas.9. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars.. can I blow your mind? Scott Pilgrim totally threw down with Gideon Graves at the grand opening of Chaos Theater.8. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier.. standing right in the middle of the street.INTEGRATED FINAL 104 CONTINUED: (4) 119B. Yeah.... it was apparently awesome.) Oh my God.. A We see the door with the star on it.6. winter turning to spring.3.. F JULIE (V. A STACEY (V. Literally... CONTINUE? 10. try again? Ramona smiles. My little brother kicked a guy’s head off...O.) Oh my God.. . it was a HUGE fight..5.. RAMONA You want to come with me? SCOTT (hopeful) I thought maybe we could. sunrise coming up over Toronto.. Scott takes it. we hear a lush rendition of ‘Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves. snow swirling around it.. night magically turning to day.4... Someone seriously should have been filming it. Scott and Ramona walk towards the door. It was unbelievable..
INTEGRATED FINAL 120. 105 106 OMITTED OMITTEDD 105 106 B A F T A .
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