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Spoonfight: Vegan Manual to Kitchen Terrorism
Chief saboteur: S. Chamberlain Note: This is from a handmade ‘zine created in the San Francisco Bay Area during the late 1980s. The reference to terrorism is all a tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement of then NIH director’s comments that animal rights activists are ‘terrorists’.

Spoonfight: Vegan Manual to Kitchen Terrorism...1 Introduction.2 Breakfast.2 Cashew Factor French Toast2 Leftover Breakfast Rice.2 Hot PB Apple Shingles.3 Fried Plantain Tactic.3 Your Average B. Muffins.3 Plantain Mash.4 Pilfered Pancakes ala Scott4 Date and But Spreadstuff4 Chocolate Banana Chunky.4 Basic Terrorist Fuel4 Embassy Applesauce.5 Other Meals and Manoeuvres.5 Basic Gluten Blueprint5 Third Degree Gluten Stew..5 Mr Selby’s Revolution Sauce.6

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Conspiracy Chickpea Salad.6 Tomato Noodle Gluten Bomb.7 KT’s Tastes Like Chicken Tofu Biscuits.7 Black and Blue-Eyed Peas.7 Kinda Cottage Cheese.8 Eggless Soymayo.8 Swell Slaw Formula.8 Gluten Pepper Steak.9 Incriminating Seitan Stir Fry.9 Scott’s Chinese Flapjacks.9 Satan’s Suey.10 Lentil Death Loaf10 Grilled and Hammered Tomatoes.11 TVP Slop-O-Rama.11 S/S Tempeh.11 Duped Carrot Soup.12 KT’s Stuffed Manicotti12 Potato Staple.13 Kind of Like Cheese, Only Different13 Biscuit Power.13 Warfare Gravy.14 Tater Salad by Straightly KT.14 Basic Roast Blueprint14 Big Mess of Lentils.15 Sweet Potato Bake.15

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17 Free Stuffed Zucchini17 Stewed Eggplant18 Beany Salad. Do not restrain yourself by strictly adhering to degrees and measurements. http://www. and an acceptable alternative to physical confrontation. concerning meeting your nutritional requirements on a vegan diet.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter.com/abclit.19 Baked Nanners. I mean c’mon. The recipes within are just a collection of suggestion.19 Unbaked Oatmeal Orbs of Domination..16 Hummus Spread Number Four Six Seven. I have often found that food can be a great means of manipulation.21 Introduction So you’re just about out of duct tape and you just can’t get seem to keep those unruly hostages in line. We are watching you. A big part of being a successful terrorist is supplying your hostages with food that meets their nutritional needs.17 Quick Attack Lima Bean Soup.processtext. how fun is it terrorizing some malnourished hostage? I personally feel that people make more a fuss than they need to. Hopefully.20 Coconut Milky Rice.19 Post Meal Manipulation Tactics.html Tomato Salsa.19 Sweet Potato Cannonballs.18 Gingered Spinach. Explore and record your findings.20 Strawberry Nice Cream.18 Hardening of the Arteries Salad.20 Frozen Banana Batons. you will find this cooking manual useful in your daily manoeuvres. Eat a good variety of foods and it’s hard to go wrong. Breakfast Page 3 . Experimentation is the name of the game.16 Oakland Baked Beans.

They’re like a banana except thicker. Leftover Breakfast Rice There always seems to leftover rice at the compound. Fry until they’re tender and golden brown. These go over well when breakfasting with influential contact people. Top it off with the banana and sing some nice breakfast songs. Fried Plantain Tactic Plantains are similar to the banana and can be found in most grocery stores and grocery markets. keep well in a backpack for idlest one day. and I think the taste sorta potato-like when cooked. Heat up the applesauce and pour it on the toast. This makes for a sweet breakfast treat.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter.processtext. Reduce the heat. Slap it in a bowl and add a little vanilla soymilk for kicks Hot PB Apple Shingles     Your favourite bread Some peanut butter Some applesauce 1 sliced banana toast the bread and smear it with peanut butter. and can be used anytime as a treat. http://www.html Cashew Factor French Toast On the forefront of firebombing breakfast materials.  2 tbsp soy margarine Page 4 . Muffins Muffins are a good part of a smart breakfast arsenal. less sweet.  ¾ cup water  ½ cup raw cashews  2 pitted dates  ¼ tsp sea salt  whole grain bread blend everything into a liquid. Your Average B. Fry in a skillet in about ½ inch really hot oil.  Some plantains  Some oil Peel those suckers and cut into quarters. Dip the bread into a mixture and brown on both sides in a small amount o foil in a pan or in a toaster oven. They’re easily transported. cover and simmer for 15 minutes.  2 cups cooked rice  1 ½ cups water  ¼ cup raisins  ½ tsp cinnamon powder heap it all into a pan and bring to a boil. This is a swell addition to your breakfast regimen.com/abclit.

com/abclit. Play around with substituting other fruit in place of the dates.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. Mix up all the dry ingredients with soymilk. Oh yeah. then do a little muffin breakdancing. then add the wet ingredients. http://www. but use your imagination.  1 ½ cups whole wheat pastry flour  ½ cup water or soy milk  1 tbsp oil of some sort  1 ½ tsp sugar  2 tsp baking powder  maybe some orange juice would be nice mix up all the dry stuff in a bowl. Peel the plantains and boil them in water until soft. reactionary beverages. Chocolate Banana Chunky The ultimate in crude. very ripe bananas  cocoa or carob soymilk Page 5 .  1 ½ cups chopped dates  tub of plain Tofutti ‘Better than Cream Cheese’  1 cup chopped walnuts blend it all in a bowl and slap it on a raisin bagel. Heat up a frying pan with just a little oil. during those stressful moments of hostage negotiation. Bake for 12 minutes or so. or days with plantains go on sale at the Berkeley Bowl. Pineapple is swell. Plantain Mash Yet another plantain formula for those nights of plantain madness. Try adding fresh fruit to the batter. Mash in a bowl and serve with some sweet soymilk Pilfered Pancakes ala Scott Pancakes are always a favourite. Date and But Spreadstuff This often satisfies the quick need for a sugar buzz. then cook on both sides until nice and brown. Bananas and peaches work really well. Plop it all into some greased muffin pans and chuck into a 350F degree oven.processtext. Very effective as a breakfast staple or just a swell treat  2 small.html        1 tsp arrowroot/1 tsp water ½ cup Sucranat (sugar) 2 bananas 1 ¼ tsp baking powder 2 cups whole-wheat flour ¼ tsp sea salt ¼ cup soy milk Cream the margarine and sucranat together. add the arrowroot and mashed up banana.

Cover the dough ball with cold water and let stand. if your hostages are acting up. or seitan. Embassy Applesauce This is swell for breakfast. The dough will be soft as you wash it and suddenly get real firm. Now you have the core for a whole arsenal of potentially dangerous dishes. Stop kneading it right before the water is clear. Throw the raw gluten in and let simmer until most of the liquid is gone. stews. is a cheap. knead under the water. Add more soymilk as desired. Other Meals and Manoeuvres Basic Gluten Blueprint Gluten. Making gluten can be a rather timely process. Basic Terrorist Fuel This is simple. I like mine messy and really chunky. Stumble to the coffee section and coop up a pound of Adam’s organic rocket espresso. Pay a ridiculous price for it and cures yourself for being such a junkie. Put them in a blender and add some pineapple juice.com/abclit. stir frys and pasta dishes. but its much cheaper and more fun to make it at home. Stir occasionally. This will take around an hour and a half. http://www. Screw those wimpy smoothies. Gluten is the protein of wheat and makes a very nice meat substitute. where they can be more closely monitored. You can let it sit there for an hour or. you can let it sit there all night. Drink yourself into a state of frenzy and scream your head off at your hostages. This loosens the starch. Blend as if you hold a grudge and add juice as needed. so I suggest that you drag your hostages into the kitchen. You don’t even have to make sense. effective way of feeding hostages. Simple. That’s when you want to stop washing and place it on a board to drain. as you mash it all together with a fork. Ride home and brew up a pot of mud. Scream at your hostages for a while then go prepare your broth. Page 6 . yet very effective. After letting the dough sit. Cut some apples into quarters. You can find prepared seitan in some health food stores.processtext. chopped  some spike  5-6 tbsp vegetarian bullion  ¼ cup soy sauce  some garlic powder Throw all the broth ingredients into a big pot and bring to a boil. Experiment and document your findings. Ride your bike to Whole Foods up on ashby and telegraph. Broth:  8 cups water  1 cup tomato sauce  2 big onions. Form the gluten into a roll and cut into ½ inch slices.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter.  8 cups hard wheat flour (high gluten content)  3-4 cups cold water slowly add the water to the flour in a big bowl and mix into a stiff dough. Knead like a maniac. You can use it in sandwiches. Kneading develops the gluten and is vital to our mission.html shove those bananas in a big cup and poor a little soy milk over them.

until you have something resembling tomato sauce. This crimps the onions an removes thir acidity. It gives off some nice garlic breath.com/abclit. Chop into medium-sized pieces.  ½ red onion. Combine all the ingredients in a huge pot and bring to a furious boil. drained  Some nutritional yeast  Some mushrooms  A chopped onion  A clove of garlic minced  Bunch of really ripe tomatoes Beat the hell out of the tomatoes. thinly sliced  some really cold water  2 cups cooked chickpeas  ½ cup diced tomato  ½ cup chopped green bell pepper  2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley  2 tbsp lemon juice  3 tbsp apple cider vinegar  2 tsp olive oil  2-3 tbsp minced garlic  some spike In a bowl. You can slop some nutritional yeast in there to slightly thicken it u[. into small pieces. cover the onions with really cold water. Chop up the onions. Page 7 . Mr Selby’s Revolution Sauce This is nice on pasta.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter.html Third Degree Gluten Stew This makes a hearty meal for those long nights of interrogation  4 cups seitan/gluten  2 big carrots  2 big onions  4 potatoes  1 celery stalk  3-4 cups water  some garlic powder  1 cup tomato sauce Boil the potatoes until they’re cooked. Add the rest of the ingredients to taste. celery and carrots. therefore making this the perfect dish for breaking those with an acute sense of smell. but still firm. Let them sit for 20 minutes. Conspiracy Chickpea Salad This is best eaten right before you interrogate your hostages. would probably do nicely on fried potatoes  Brick of crumbled firm tofu. http://www. Eat this with a big chink of bread and make a lot of gooshy noises.processtext. You can use this time to flog the hostages and prepare the rest of the ingredients. Lower the heat and simmer for approximately 20 minutes or so. Simmer in a saucepan for a couple of minutes and throw on some noodles. You should play around with the amount of ingredients until you come up with a nice thick stew. Keeps really well in the fridge.

Real fuel for your personal revolution. Tomato Noodle Gluten Bomb This one’s a hearty meal for the active terrorist.html Drain the onions well and pat them dry. Quick. Add the rest of the ingredients and simmer on low heat until the peas are tender. Egad. this is really swell and will make you praise Katie. Simmer for a couple of minutes. Black and Blue-Eyed Peas Several of my associates down south tell me that this is an appropriate pre-torture dish.  2 cups dried black eye peas  5 cups hot water  1 large onion  1 clove garlic  1 celery stalk. KT’s Tastes Like Chicken Tofu Biscuits This is really good and Katie has made many a hostage weep at the thought of her swell food. Combine everything and let marinate at room temp. defrosted and drained  finely chopped onion  1 celery stalk.  3 cups cooked gluten  4 cups cooked noodles  16oz tomato sauce  2 big onions  some mushroom pieces  2 cloves crushed garlic  some spike Throw everything. Cut it into ¼ inch slices and marinade in the gravy for a little while.processtext. easy and painless. Slap the tofu on an un-greased baking pan and bake for 20 minutes at 350F degrees.com/abclit. Good for those pot luck situations. then pour on top of the cooked noodles. the longer it sits. http://www. finely chopped  several biscuit power biscuits (see recipe)  some warfare gravy (see recipe) Drain the tofu really well. the better it tastes. Kinda Cottage Cheese Page 8 . until nice and hot. chopped  ¼ cup molasses  1 tbsp sea salt  4 tbsp canola oil  ¼ tsp oregano  8oz tomato sauce Soak them peas overnight in the hot water.  1 package firm tofu. except the noodles.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. or one of the hostages spills their beans. Serve the tofu over the biscuits and smother it with gravy. in a big saucepan.

and you must eliminate any security risks. until it thickens. http://www. when the hostages are cooperative. Pour it over the lettuce mix. Combine all the ingredients in a pan and cook on med-hi heat.  8oz tofu  1 tbsp oil  a pinch of salt  1 tbsp apple cider vinegar or lemon juice mash everything together with a fork and you’ve got some swell snack material.processtext. shredded cabbage and sliced green onion Combine all the ingredients.com/abclit. except the roughage stuff.html Somewhat close to the real thing. Page 9 . which you might find useful when attempting gastro-intestinal torture on your hostages.  Around 3 cups gluten  1 red bell pepper  1 green bell pepper  some duct tape  1 big onion  1 tsp garlic powder  some spike first. Swell Slaw Formula This is an effective salad material and gives you some pretty good gas. Chop up the peppers and onion. Blend on the lowest speed and gradually add the oil. Slap it on everything under the roof. There should be no distractions while you cook. real slow like. including insubordinate hostages. as a treat. I like to throw in some shredded carrot.  1 cup eggless soymayo  2 tbsp brown rice syrup  2 tbsp lemon juice  2 tbsp celery seed  a crazy mixture of shredded lettuce. use the duct tape to secure those troublesome hostages to the kitchen table. Gluten Pepper Steak This is really swell. Serve with peach slices on top. Put in a jar and put it in your fridge. Stir while cross-questioning hostages.  6 tbsp lemon juice  1 cup plain soy milk  ½ tsp sea salt  ½ tsp paprika  ½ tsp mustard  12 tbsp vegetable oil put it all in blender. except for the oil.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. Continue blending until thick and dreamy. Eggless Soymayo I can’t do without this crap. and mix until well blended. My girlfriend gets the credit for this one. Serve over rice and be grateful.

Satan’s Suey A friend served this to me at a terrorist get-together. you might have to heavier on the oil. Scott’s Chinese Flapjacks Almost equal parts whole-wheat pastry flour and water  Some oil  Some chives  Some sea salt Combine the flour and water and form into a kinda gooshy dough ball. Heat the oil in a wok or a big pan.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. Serve over some rice. when I was on a mission in Japan. for a couple of minutes. Cut the eggplant into ¼ inch slices. play with some chopsticks and go to town with your bad self. ready for a new mission. sprinkle with chives and spices.processtext. Use a trusty wok.  3 cups seitan  1 green bell pepper  1 red bell pepper  1 ½ onions  come canola oil  1 small eggplant  some soy sauce  some fresh garlic  1 cup snap peas chop up the onion and peppers into convenient sizes. Page 10 .com/abclit. Alaska.  2 tbsp oil  1 large onion sliced  1 green pepper sliced  2 stalks celery chopped  1 thinly sliced carrot  1 ½ cups bean sprouts  2 cups cooked seitan  1 cup mushroom pieces  some spike sauté the mushrooms and onion in oil. Flatten each ball and spread a little oil on top. http://www. Lay it all on some rice. but crisp. The infamous John Templeton was said to have eaten this before kidnapping the entire population of Gnome. The vegetables should be cooked. Tear it apart and make a bunch of little balls. Stir fry all the vegetables and seitan over high heat.html Incriminating Seitan Stir Fry This leaves me feeling very refreshed and healthy. Set aside the mushrooms and oil and spike in wok. It’s best served over rice and dosed with soy sauce. Hurl all the ingredients into the wok and stir over med-hi heat until everything is cooked but still kinda crunchy. Fry in a pan with lotsa oil until pastry turns opaque. then roll up like a cigar or something.

Slosh it around a bit until it starts thickening. Slop into a greased 1-½ qt. Pour the olive oil over them suckers and sprinkle with spices. Bake uncovered for around 45 minutes at 450F degrees.processtext. Casserole dish. Eats well with nutritional yeast gravy.com/abclit.  6 large ripe red tomatoes.  ½ cup olive oil  3 tsp rosemary  2 tsp dill  some spike Arrange the tomatoes in a good-sized baking dish.  Around 2 cups TVP  2 cups almost boiling water  1 cup quick oats  a huge red onion. Katie says this is the rad shit. http://www. Never forget to keep a close eye on your supply of duct tape. Let the top get nice and brown. Slice and use for sandwich filler or duct tape a piece to your bike for emergencies. chopped  some vegetarian broth powder  8oz tomato sauce  some garlic powder  some spike  2 tbsp vegetable oil boil the water and throw in the TVP and oats. or a main dish. cored and sliced in half. Grill the hostages until you can come up with an appropriate menu for the evening. horizontally.html Lentil Death Loaf Heavy. yet light enough to carry along on those late-night raids.  2 cups cooked lentils  2/3 cup plain soymilk  2 tbsp oil  1 ½ cups dry bread crumbs  2 tsp egg replacer  1 cup chopped walnuts  1 tsp sea salt  1 tsp thyme  1 big chopped yellow onion  1 cup grated red onion  1 cup chopped celery combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly. Steal this dish from your mom’s house. cut side up. Grilled and Hammered Tomatoes This can be either a side project.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. Throw in the rest of the ingredients and mix it all up. Broil until the tops begin to brown (about 5 minutes) TVP Slop-O-Rama This somewhat resembles stuffing. Whatever’s appropriate for the situation. Chuck everything into a semi-deep baking pan. very good as a main or side dish. chopped  a big green bell pepper. Bake at 350F degrees for about 1 hour. I think it’s good when it burns a Page 11 .

You can also use this as sandwich filler. S/S Tempeh Tempeh is really swell stuff. Duped Carrot Soup It’s good and will make you feel all warm inside. I was surprised at how cheesy this comes off as. red pepper to taste  some fake ham or fake bacon bits Put all the sauce in a large pan. You might have to add a little water. Stir in the soymilk and reheat if necessary. KT’s Stuffed Manicotti For those Italian-style hostage festivities. Throw in your tempeh. http://www. for those picnic situations.processtext. Longer you let it simmer. if making sandwich filler). This would be a good dish to impress your friends with. Stuffing   1 lb firm tofu a package of chopped spinach Page 12 . Well I suppose it doesn’t matter because you want to slap everything in a blender and puree until smooth.  16oz uncooked tempeh  2 tbsp lemon juice  2tbsp tamari sauce  1 ½ cups water  ¼ tomato sauce  1 tbsp brown rice syrup  4 medium cloves garlic cut the tempeh into medium sized squares (or bricks. giving you the strength to subdue your hostages. Cover and simmer for about 45 minutes to an hour. While the sauce is cooking. This goes well with some rice. garlic. cut into small strips  1 medium chopped onion  basil. Place all the sauce ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil. but not mushy. Simmer on low heat for about 1 hour stirring occasionally. the more flavourful it becomes.com/abclit. This is good hot or cold. Mushy carrots suck and have caused many a fistfight within our organization.  3 large sliced carrots  1 cup vegetarian broth  ½ chopped onion  ½ tsp garlic powder  ¼ cup plain soymilk Combine everything in a medium pan and cook until the carrots are tender.  16oz tomato sauce  6oz tomato puree  1 medium sized green bell pepper. prepare everything else. spike.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. Most hostages are suckers for sweet and sour dishes. and reduce the heat.html little.

html  palm full of garlic. then add your oil and water/soymilk. I mean carefully. I find myself eating this for every meal. All the hail the mighty potato.  About 5 good-sized potatoes  A big onion  Some oil  Some garlic powder and spike Scrub down them taters and plop them in a big pot of boiling water. Even the tough ones break down and beg for some no-cheese on their noodles or mash potatoes. Put some of the sauce on the bottom of a rectangular baking pan. Place the stuffed manicotti in the pan and splatter some more sauce on top. Remove from heat. Throw in the potatoes and heave in a bunch of garlic powder and spike. http://www. Throw in the onions and let them cook for about a minute. Now. biscuits are a useful means of reasoning with the hungry opponent. Now. drain and rinse with cool water.  1 cup nutritional yeast  1 cup flour  2 tbsp soy margarine  1 tbsp mustard  some sea salt Throw everything. Just enough water in the pot to cover the potatoes. basil and parsley Drain tofu and squeeze out an excess water. Let cool for five minutes before serving. Only Different I love this stuff. except the mustard and margarine. stuff the manicotti with your stuffing. When I’m broke. Stir things up with a few threatening words to the head hostage. Once you have a smooth sauce going. Add oil as needed. Add a little water if things get crazy. remove from heat and stir in the mustard and margarine. for kicks Whip up your oven to 450F degrees. This takes a lot of stirring. Biscuit Power Universal means of feeding unruly hostages. Mix all the dry stuff in a bowl. in a saucepan and simmer until thick. Go to town and put it on everything. then make him stir the mix until he gets a Page 13 . preheat your oven to 350F degrees.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter.  2 cups flour  1 tbsp baking powder  1 tsp sea salt  1/3 cup vegetable oil  2/3 cup water or soy milk  2 tbsp nutritional yeast. Mash everything together.processtext. Kind of Like Cheese. carefully. Breakfast to dinner. When the manicotti is done. Potato Staple This is your usual breakfast fare. but still really firm. and so do the hostages. cut up the potatoes into medium-sized chunks. Cook the manicotti by following the directions on the box. Boil them until they’re done. this will make things go faster.com/abclit. and cook until brown and kind of crispy. Cover with some foil and bake for 30-35 minutes. Chop up the onion and get a moderate amount of oil going in a big frying pan.

Break the ball down into a bunch of small chunks. Things will start to get very doughy and thick. soy beans etc.processtext. fake meat.com/abclit. Add some mustard to taste. You can pretty much make a roast out anything. or soy milk  ¼ sweet basil  some spike  2 tbsp vegetable oil Page 14 . garlic. I was once in a bind and had to use a box of granola and a can of shoe polish. Place on an un-greased cookie sheet and bake for approximately 17 minutes. chopped or ground: raw peanuts. vegetarian broth. The dough won’t rise much in the oven. Spice it up and pour over a roast or baked tofu. garbanzo beans. walnuts etc. the size you want your biscuits to be.  6 tbsp soy margarine  ½ cup whole-wheat flour  ½ cup nutritional yeast  3 cups vegetarian broth  some garlic powder  spike to taste melt the margarine in a saucepan. cashews. spike and pepper. http://www. and try to create the deadly meatloaf your aunt flo used to force on you every Sunday.  1 tsp arrowroot mixed with 1 tsp water  1 to 1 ½ cups liquid.  2 cups protein stuff: kidney beans. cooked rice. Have fun. we’re talking about hostages. Tater Salad by Straightly KT        10 med size potatoes 1 ½ onions chopped 3 stalks celery chopped some garlic powder some spike and pepper mustard to taste eggless mayonnaise Peel and wash the potatoes.html nice. Can also be used for hot gravy torture when hostages don’t want to wash dishes. tofu. then play picnic on the kitchen floor with the hostages. Mix in some fake mayo. Add the chopped veggies. lentils. Slowly add the broth until you get the desired consistency. Basic Roast Blueprint Roasts are really swell and can be hearty enough to feed the most demanding hostages. Take the bowl away from the hostage and knead dough for a couple of seconds. It didn’t work so well. then add the yeast and flour. tomato sauce/juice. Don’t stop stirring. soft dough.  1 cup carbohydrate stuff: dried bread crumbs. uncooked oatmeal. until nice and brown on top. crushed cereal flakes. wheat germ etc. Warfare Gravy Gravy is power. but hey.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter.  ½ cup nuts. Boil them for around twenty minutes or until they’re cooked but not mushy. almonds.

Bake for about 45 minutes at 450F degrees. Place the shells on an un-greased cookie sheet and return to oven for 12-15 minutes.j.  2 tomatoes. rice syrup and sea salt.. Add the rest of the stuff and simmer for about twenty minutes. than to come right out and whack them in the kisser. o. Go heavy on the cayenne and watch them suffer. diced  1 green bell pepper. a big crazy mess of lentils. http://www.processtext. Time may vary. and is helpful in exorcising personal demons. Serve it with some gravy and dole it out to them starving hostages. Big Mess of Lentils In general. as I frequently had to leave the kitchen to discipline a hostage who was screaming from the hall closet.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. Beat intensely and spoon the mixture back into the shells. Sweet Potato Bake Sometimes it is much more effective to tempt your hostages. carrots. celery and pepper in 4 cups of water. Seriously potent on the intestinal torture scale.html Just mix it all together really well and slap into a greased loaf pan. Tomato Salsa Fresh salsa is much better than that crap you find in jars at the deli. diced  1 onion diced Page 15 .  2 cups uncooked lentils  1 chopped onion  1 chopped carrot  ½ roll chopped duct tape  ½ cup chopped celery  ¼ cup chopped green pepper  8oz tomato paste  1 tbsp maple syrup  ½ tsp oregano  ½ tsp soy margarine  ½ tsp nutritional yeast  1 tsp sea salt  1 tsp cumin Cook the lentils. Can be used in punishing hostages. Cut them there potatoes lengthwise and scoop out the inside. so you are left with the shells. onion.com/abclit.  4 medium sweet potatoes  1 small ripe banana  2 tbsp soy margarine  1/3 cup orange juice  1 tbsp brown rice syrup  1 ½ tbsp sea salt Bake the sweet potatoes at 375F for 45 min-1 hour or until tender when prodded with a fork. Set the shells to the side and mash the banana with the potato and add the soy margarine. Good for cold days. Serve with a huge hunk of whole grain bread and feel like a cave man.

Hummus Spread Number Four Six Seven The beauty lies in the spread’s diversity. Oakland Baked Beans This is a good dish to serve with tofu pups or soy burgers. Put the stuff back into the bowl and add the crushed tomatoes. I put some inside my roommate’s pillow case after he lost my swiz 7”. Place the onion in the center. better 3-4 hours.  1 cup cooked garbanzo beans  2 tbsp tahini  2 tbsp lemon juice  1 clove minced garlic  ¼ cup chopped parsley Thrash it all with a fork. Smack it on a bagel or on some cracker. except the crushed tomatoes. This is very swell in pita bread with tomatoes and lettuce. if you can get the hostages to wait that long. Quick Attack Lima Bean Soup I don’t know. Mix well.  1 lb great northern beans  1 tbsp sea salt  4 tbsp oil  1 cup tomato sauce  3 tbsp molasses  1 huge onion slightly peeled but left whole  6 tbsp maple syrup Simmer the beans in enough water to cover them. http://www. or you can wimp out and employ a blender. Drain off most of the liquid and mix all the ingredients in a big casserole dish. Skate to Noah’s and buy a bagel.com/abclit. until tender. Cover tightly and let sit in the fridge for a good hour to let all the flavour set in. Cover the dish with some tin foil and bake at 350F for two hours. Remove the onion before you serve.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. except the onion. This doesn’t take very long and is a good thing to make after coming home from the farmer market.  2 cups water  2 cups fresh lima beans  1 cup blanched peas Page 16 .processtext. These play a detrimental part in the infamous sleeping bag torture. which is found on page on 133 of your hostage control manual. into a large bowl and mix furiously.html        2 cloves garlic minced 2 tbsp minced fresh cilantro 2 tsp lime juice ¼ tsp sea salt ¼ tsp pepper ½ tsp cayenne pepper 2 cups really ripe-tomatoes crushed Slap everything. shoving it under the beans. Take about ¾ of the mixture and mix in a blender for about 2 seconds (count eee-gad).

Cover and cook on low for 30 minutes. Add the lima beans and bring to a nasty boil.  8 medium zucchini  ½ cup finely chopped onion  1 tbsp oil  1 cup chopped tomatoes  1 cup soy burger or another fake meat stuff  2 tsp chopped parsley  ½ cup bread crumbs. Hit a hostage with the onions.com/abclit. This goes pretty well with your favourite pasta.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter.html     ½ cup diced squash ½ cup diced zucchini ½ cup chopped scallions ¼ cup dill weed Chuck everything into a large saucepan. heat and serve. Return to heat for a few minutes and serve. Free Stuffed Zucchini This is always a hostage pleaser.processtext.  A big eggplant  2 big onions  2 big green bell peppers  1 tbsp oil  16oz tomato sauce  some spike cut the eggplant in small chunks and soak in cold water for one hour. Drain and cut in half. It’s pretty cool looking vegetable. except for this one guy named Jiff who’s an asshole and doesn’t like anything anyway. Beany Salad I really like beans. Arrange the zucchini shells in a baking dish and fill them with the pulp mixture. Now chop up the onions and peppers. then reduce heat and simmer for about seven minutes (until tender). Praise people who bring you free zucchini. Get a hostage to mash everything with extreme prejudice. lengthwise. waaa waaa waaa. Sauté the onion in the oil over med heat. Yep.  1 lb cooked kidney beans  one small onion grated  3 tomatoes quartered Page 17 . Stewed Eggplant Eggplant is always a hostage favourite around our house. fake meat stuff. Fry them in the oil for a couple of minutes. Throw in the tomato sauce. and find them an easy way to support hungry hostages while on a slim budget. then add the eggplant. buttered with soy margarine Wash and steam the zucchini for five minutes. http://www. zucchini pulp and parsley. if you ask me.” Always griping about something. then add the tomatoes. scooping out the pulp. “ My wrists are sore. Little bastard complains about everything. Cover with bread crumbs and bake at 350F for 10 minutes. Save the pulp. Sauté it all around for seven minutes. my handcuffs are too tight.

Post Meal Manipulation Tactics Sweet Potato Cannonballs Except for the sweet potato pie. Serve as an appetizer when cooking up Mexican dishes. this is a favourite sweet potato concoction.html    ¼ cup pickle relish some eggless mayo some lettuce just slam it all together and serve on some lettuce.  4 cups cooked and mashed sweet potatoes  1 ½ cup self rising flour  1 cup sugar  1 cup coconut milk Page 18 . Gingered Spinach Spinach is really good for you and tastes much better than it did when you were a kid. Pile it up on a mass of lettuce with sliced tomatoes on the side. This will make the hostages happy.processtext. This makes a good desert and leaves you feeling sluggish and satisfied. Stir-fry for about two minutes. hot or cold. an almost dangerous position to be in when you have hostages to take care of.  1 tbsp minced ginger  2 cloves minced garlic  2 tbsp oil  1 lb spinach  1 tbsp apple cider vinegar  ¼ tsp crushed red pepper  ¼ tsp sea salt  ¼ tsp pepper In a large skillet sauté the ginger and garlic in oil over med heat for one minute.  2 ripe avocados  2 tbps grated onion  ½ tsp sea salt  4 tbsp chopped green chillies  2 tbsp lemon juice  2 cloves crushed garlic  sprinkle of spike mash everything up or massacre in a blender. Now wasn’t that simple. then add the remaining ingredients and give it all a good toss. http://www.com/abclit.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. Hardening of the Arteries Salad Absolutely swell for those international hostage potlucks. Add the red pepper and spinach.

com/abclit. Roll the mixture into little balls. Take one out and throw at a hostage. while they’re baking. most hostages like it.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. These can be very useful in extracting information from tight-lipped hostages. not overly ripe  Lemon juice  Shredded coconut  A freezer Slice the bananas lengthwise and dip into a plate of lemon juice. then you left them in the freezer too long. nuts and vanilla. Frozen Banana Batons A nice frozen treat for those long. http://www. Drop by the spoonful onto a slick surface. Now I hope we washed our grubby little hands. If it leaves a light blue bruise. eh? Don’t let them freeze for too long.processtext. Baked Nanners This lives the duality of being either a swell breakfast component or an attempt at calming your rebellious hostages. Let them cool then form it all into little balls. apple. Serve with a little maple syrup. and salt.  ¼ cup soy margarine  ¾ cup sugar  ½ cup grated raw apple or pear  1 ½ cups cocoa  ¼ tsp salt  1 ½ cups quick cooking rolled oats  ½ cup chopped nuts  ½ tsp vanilla Melt the soy margarine in a saucepan and add the sugar. Now roll in shredded coconut and plop in the freezer. Mix it all together like you’re really pissed off at the bowl. Swell. keep basting them with the sugar/lemon juice mixture. Boil for one minute. Place in a shallow pan and bake for twenty minutes at 350F.  A couple of bananas. Coconut Milky Rice Sweet rice is simple and good at 3am while you sit in the backyard listening to the upstairs neighbours clog dance. they’re ready. Page 19 . cocoa.html mix everything with a passion. If you administered a dark purple welt with the banana stick. Fry in deep boiling oil until browned and cooked through.  6 bananas  2 tbsp soy margarine  3 tbsp sugar  1 tbsp lemon juice peel them bananas and split them in half. then remove from heat and add the oatmeal. They should be solid but not rock hard. hot nights of being clammed up in some ‘safe’ house. Real easy. It’s really versatile. Unbaked Oatmeal Orbs of Domination Oatmeal is one of my favourites.

Pour into ice cube trays and plop in the freezer. let cool and serve. chop the cubes in the blender until creamy.processtext. Add the rice and cook until done. Plop in raisins. Add the coconut milk and heat.com/abclit.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter. Just before serving. Page 20 . http://www. Strawberry Nice Cream    2 cups plain or vanilla soymilk 1 ½ cups ripe cleaned strawberries 1/3 cup sugar Shove it all in a blender and get down to business.html     ½ cup rice 1 cup coconut milk 3-4 cups water some raisins Bring the water to a boil in a small saucepan.

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