Help

By The Numbers
80%

en d ! a Fr i

en app h can ne us e yo A b t o an

86% of teenage girls say they would confide in a friend before anyone else if someone is attempting to control them, insults them, or physically harms them. You CAN make the difference for your friends.
Tell your friend that you are concerned for their safety. Let them know that you care and will listen whenever they want to talk. Never blame or judge your friend for what is happening. Don’t make them feel stupid or ashamed. Your friend doesn’t deserve this and it is NOT their fault. Be supportive and patient. It may be hard for them to talk about what is going on, or they may break up and go back to the relationship many times before they finally leave. Don’t criticize your friend for this, even if you don’t agree with their choices. Encourage the person to talk to others. Offer to help the person talk to family, friends, a teacher, or a counselor.

of teens

regard verbal

abuse as a “serious
issue” for their age group.

1 in 3

teens will

►Use the National Teen Dating Abuse hotline: ◄ 1-866-331-9474
Don’t force your friend to make a decision. They have to decide when they are ready to get help or break up. Help them make the decision for themselves, and know that you can’t do it for them. Focus on her/his strengths. Your friend has probably been told by the abusive partner that they are not good enough or that they did something wrong to make the abuser hurt them. Tell them why they are a great person and deserve better!

experience abuse in their dating relationships.

1 in 4

teen girls say they have been

Check out these websites!
Choose Respect: www.chooserespect.org Break the Cycle: www.breakthecycle.org Love is Respect: www.loveisrespect.org The Safe Space: www.thesafespace.org See It Stop It: www.seeitandstopit.org A Thin Line: www.athinline.org That’s Not Cool: www.thatsnotcool.com My Strength: www.mystrength.org Show Me Love DC: www.showmelovedc.org

pressured

to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse in their relationship.

Violen ce is a c ho ice

Warning Signs:

       

Your friends’ boyfriend calls her names or puts her down in front of other people.  He acts extremely jealous when she talks to other boys at school or at parties. She apologizes for his behavior and makes excuses for him. She frequently breaks plans at the last minute for reasons that don’t make sense to you. He is always checking up on her, calling or texting her, and asking where she is and who she is with. You have seen him lose his temper, maybe even break or hit things when he is mad. She seems worried about upsetting him or making him angry. She is giving up things that used to be important to her, like spending time with friends and family, or playing sports. Her weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically. She has injuries that she can’t explain, or gives explanations that don’t make sense.

How to break up safely:
Break up in a public place and drive separately so you have a way to get home on your own. Tell at least one friend or family member that you are breaking up, and where you are going. Wait for your ex to leave before you do so they can’t follow you. Call your friend or a family member when you are ready to go home and make sure they know you are safe. Ask them to call you in 20 minutes or however long it takes you to get home to be sure that you are safe. Agree on a code word if the abuser is near you and you want help. Make an appointment with a school counselor to talk about what happened and to know what to do next. Stick with buddies when you’re at a party where your ex might also be. Don’t go to isolated places alone.

1/3 teens will experience abuse in their dating relationships
Young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rates of abuse, above any other age group. Over 50% of teens have experienced some form of digital abuse. Girls who are abused in dating relationships are 4 to 6 times more likely to get pregnant and 8 to 9 times more likely to attempt suicide. Nearly 50% of all tweens (adolescents age 11-14) and 37% of 11 and 12-year olds say they've been in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Only half of all tweens claim to relationship.

know the warning signs

of a bad/unhealthy

Less than 30% of teens will report when they are involved in a violent relationship, so it is important for adults to be alert for signs that a teen may be involved in a relationship that is, or has the potential to become, abusive.
      

Do you see signs that the individual is afraid of his/her boyfriend or girlfriend? Does the individual apologize for the boyfriend or girlfriend’s behavior to you and others? Has the individual casually mentioned the boyfriend or girlfriend’s temper or violent behavior, but then laughed it off as a joke? Does the individual seem to have lost interest or is giving up things that were once important, like school, sports, or other activities? Has the individual's appearance or style of dress changed? Have you seen sudden changes in the individual’s mood or personality? Is the individual becoming anxious or withdrawn, acting out, or being secretive?

IF A STUDENT DISCLOSES BEING A VICTIM OF TEEN DATING VIOLENCE
Key Points to Convey: I’m glad that you’ve told me. This is important. I want you to be safe. Let’s make sure you get the help you need right now.

Ask!

  

If the student would like to speak with the school counselor. (Offer to accompany the student to the counselor if it will help them take the extra step.) Whether the student is aware of online resources or the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. Which other adults the student can talk with in order to get the support they need to be safe. What support the student wants from you or other adults.

Resources to share with students: ►National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-8453◄
Choose Respect is a great website for current statistics and includes information on what it means to be in a healthy/unhealthy relationship. www.chooserespect.org Break the Cycle has an “escape quickly” button in case the student is afraid others will see what they are reading. It includes a safety planning guide and information about restraining orders. www.breakthecycle.org Love is Respect has a timeout button which will escape to the Google homepage if clicked. The website offers a live chat feature where students can communicate with a peer advocate and get their questions answered on the spot. www.loveisrespect.org The Safe Space offers multiple quizzes for teens to take to identify whether their relationship is healthy or not. This website also features an escape button and Spanish translation on how to get help. www.thesafespace.org A Thin Line is an MTV sponsored website that offers information on digital abuse such as sexting, constant messaging and other acts of digital disrespect. www.athinline.org That’s Not Cool offers anonymous “callout” cards that teens can send via email, facebook, myspace or twitter with funny ways to call someone out for things such as texting too much, or pressuring them to send nude pictures. The website also offers a discussion forum for questions. www.thatsnotcool.com Show Me Love DC is a great resource for GLBT teens that are experiencing abuse. www.showmelovedc.org

G I VE

!

ec t I f y o u su sp na violence i hip relations

►Mention your concerns to the student privately. ►Be sure to know and follow your school’s policy on violence; many schools require you to report incidents!

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