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lorraine pintus

jump off the hormone swing
10 Helps for a Sagging Sex Drive
© 2010 by Lorraine Pintus I speak around the world with women about sexual issues. I’ve come to see that, for women, sexual desire is 20% hormones and 80% attitude. Testosterone is the ruling hormone for sexual desire in both men and women (although the energy burst from estrogen also plays a role). “Testosterone acts on the brain to stimulate sexual interest and may also affect sensitivity to sexual stimulation and orgasmic ability in both sexes.” 1 Even still, “our libidos are more complex physically and emotionally than men’s and there is no `magic pill’ that provides consistent results in all women.”1 Still, there’s much we can do to boost a lagging libido. Following are 10 tips to help you—the first 6 are practical ideas to boost physical response while the other 4 relate to helping you change your perspective. Note: Menopausal women and nursing mothers often experience lower sexual desire due to the decline in their testosterone. Nursing mothers also produce a hormone called prolactin which often lowers libido.1 So while there is a physical reason why you may not be “in the mood,” the tips below will also help you.

1. Add supplements. Add zinc and B vitamins. Both are critical to the production of testosterone. Zinc occurs naturally in oysters and pumpkin seeds. Eggs, salmon and avocados are high in B vitamins. Avocados have also been shown to regulate hormone production and provide an energy boost. Take a good multivitamin. Vitamins A,B,C, E help you get the nutrients you need to keep sexual desire alive. Eat foods and herbs considered to be aphrodisiacs. Eat oatmeal, saw palmetto, kava and chocolate (I’m sure I don’t have to convince you too hard on that last one!) As for caffeine, avoid it because studies show too much can lower libido. 2. Take a nap. Exhaustion is the enemy of intimacy. If you want to awaken sexual desire, rest your brain and body. Rest also maintains adrenal health which helps keep hormones in balance. 3. Exercise. A good 30 minute work-out increases blood flow (which stimulates desire) and releases oxytocin (which produces the urge to “bond”) and endorphins (which can intensify sexual arousal). Exercise also increases testosterone production. 4. Check your medications. Hormone therapy, birth control, anti-depressants, tranquilizers, and blood pressure medications can lower libido. Talk with your doctor about side-effects. 5. Consider a lubricant. The drop in estrogen that women experience during perimenopause can create vaginal dryness. Many women find that a lubricant can increase pleasure, desire and comfort during intimacy.

6. Exercise your PC’s. For 5 seconds squeeze together your PC’s (pubococcygeal—the muscles you also use to cut off the flow of urine). Relax, then repeat 5 times. Feel the desire as blood rushes to the vagina and creates arousal. Exercising these muscles also increases the likelihood of orgasm and makes your orgasms more intense. 7. Get creative. You are creative in so many areas, push yourself to be a more creative lover. Try a new position. Make love in a new place. Create a fresh mood or atmosphere. Out of creative ideas? Purchase Simply Romantic Nights from Family Life Today includes a year’s worth of creative sexual and romantic ideas. Initiating something new builds anticipation in your mind which creates sexual excitement in you. 8. Stimulate your mind. Your mind is your greatest sexual organ. Stimulate it by reading books by authors who offer healthy ideas and suggestions consistent with the principles in God’s Word. You’ll have a better understanding of how your body works, receive creative ideas, and discover God’s ideas about sex. Try: Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus Intimacy Ignited by Dr. Joseph and Linda Dillow and Dr. Peter and Lorraine Pintus The Gift of Sex by Clifford and Joyce Penner A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas Rosenau Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by C.J. Jahaney Intended for Pleasure by Ed and Gaye Wheat God on Sex by Daniel Akin Sacred Sex by Gary Thomas 9. Reshape your attitude. Is guilt, shame, or pain from your past keeping you from having passion in the bedroom? Does the thought of making love disgust you or make you want to run away? If so, I strongly encourage you to purchase the CD’s from The Intimate Issues conference which includes nearly 8 hours of teaching on God’s perspective of sex. Linda Dillow, my co-author, and I offer expanded teaching based on the book Intimate Issues. Whether you have deep emotional scars or just suffer from a crummy attitude, you’ll find hope and help and answers to the questions you have about intimacy. 10. Pray. God created sex. And He created you. He knows what’s going on inside your heart and your body that is keeping you from wanting to be intimate with your husband. Talk to Him. Let Him shine the spotlight on the issue. Allow Him to whisper direction to your heart. Trust Him to lead you in this tender area of your life so you are free to be the fun, creative, sexual woman He created you to be. God, you know I want to please You and please my husband. Please reveal to me what is keeping me from experiencing pleasure and passion and create sexual desire in me so I can faithfully love this man I married.

© Lorraine Pintus 2010