Little Shop Of Horrors Script

Narrator:

On the 23rd day of the month of September... ...in an early year of a decade not too long before our own... ...the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do... ...in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places.

Song: Little Shop Of Horrors Balcony Girls: (singing) Little Shop Little Shop of Horrors Little Shop of Terrors Call the cops Little Shop Little Shop of Horrors Little Shop of Terrors Watch 'em drop Little Shop of Horrors Shing-a-ling What a creepy thing to be happening Look out! Shang-a-lang Feel the Sturm und Drang in the air Stop right where you are Don't move a thing You'd better, telling you, you'd better Tell your mama Something's gonna get her She'd better, everybody better, beware Here it comes, baby Tell those bums, baby Hit the dirt, baby Red alert, baby Alley Oop, haul it off the stoop l'm warning you Look out! Run away Child, You're gonna pay if you fail Look around, look who's coming down Down the street for you You bet 'cha You bet your butt, you bet 'cha Best believe it Something's come to get 'cha Better watch your back and your tail Little Shop Little Shop of Horrors

Bop-she-bop You'll never stop the terror Little Shop Little Shop of Horrors... Scene 1, Location: Flower Shop, Shelf crashes on Seymour Mr. Mushnik: (shouts) Seymour, what's going on down there? Seymour: Very little, Mr. Mushnik!

Seymour dusts himself off and puts the radio on. Radio: ...and at his press conference today, President Kennedy fielded questions... ...concerning last Thursday's total eclipse of the sun... ...an astrological phenomenon which has baffled the nation.

Audrey enters. Mr. Mushnik: Aaaah! So, she finally decides to come to work! Audrey: Oh, Good morning, Mr. Mushnik.

Mr. Mushnik: What morning? lt's almost closing time. Not that we had a customer. (sighs) Crash! Mr. Mushnik: Seymour, what in the name of God is going on down there? Audrey, would you go down and see what he's³(notices Audrey·s black eye) Where did you get that shiner? Audrey: Oh, er, shiner?

Mr. Mushnik: Audrey, that greasy boyfriend of yours is beating up on you again? Mr. Mushnik: Look. l know it's none of my business... ...but l'm beginning to think he's maybe not such a nice boy. Seymour: l got these pots unloaded for you, Mr.³

Seymour falls and pots crash. Mr. Mushnik: Seymour, look what you've done to the inventory! Audrey: Seymour: (staring at Seymour) Don't yell at Seymour, Mr. Mushnik Hi Audrey, You look radiant today. Is that new eye make-up?

Audrey:

Oh! I'll help him clean it up before any of the customers get here.

Mr. Mushnik: That should give you plenty of time. Oh, God, what an existence l got! Misfit employees, bums on the sidewalk... ...business is lousy. My life is a living hell! (notices girls) Hey, you. Urchins! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Move! Move! Move! Go away! No loitering! Ronette: Crystal: Man! I wasn't loitering. Were you, Crystal? Not me, Ronette. Were you, Chiffon?

Mr. Mushnik: You ought to be in school! Chiffon: Ronette: Yeah! Well, we on a split shift. Right! We went to school until fifth grade, then we split.

Mr. Mushnik: So? How do you intend to better yourselves? Crystal: Better ourselves? You hear what he said? Better ourselves? Mister, when you're from Skid Row ain't no such thing.

Song: Skid Row Cast/ Choir: Alarm goes off at seven And you start uptown You put in your eight hours For the powers that have always been Sing it, child. Till its 5p.m. Then you go Downtown Where the folks are broke You go downtown Where your life's a joke You go downtown Where you buy your token And you go Home to Skid Row Home to Skid Row Yes, you go Downtown Where the cabs don't stop Downtown Where the food is slop Downtown Where the hopheads flop in the snow Down on Skid Row Uptown, you cater to a million jerks Uptown, you're messengers And mailroom clerks

..' I started life as an orphan A child of the street Here on Skid Row He took me in..Eating all your lunches At the hotdog carts The bosses take your money Then they break your hearts Uptown you cater to a million whores Disinfect terrazzo On their bathroom floors Your jobs are really menial You make no bread And then at 4 you head By subway Downtown Where the guys are drips Downtown Where they rip your slips Downtown Where relationships are no go Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Poor All my life I've always been poor I keep asking God what l'm for And he tells me. I'm not sure.. 'Gee.status quo Down on Skid Row Someone show me a way To get out of here Cause l constantly pray I'll get out of here Please. gave me shelter. Sweep that floor.. a bed Crust of bread and a job Treats me like dirt Calls me a slob. which l am So l live Downtown That's your home address You live Downtown When your life's a mess You live Downtown Where depression's just. kid. won't somebody say? I'll get out of here Someone give me my shot Or I'll rot here Show me how and l will I'll get out of here I·ll start climbing uphill And get out of here Someone tell me .

why don't you run downstairs and bring up. Don't bother coming in tomorrow.. Forget it. l'm closing this God and customer forsaken place...prominently displayed and advertised. Mushnik: Six o'clock and we haven't sold so much as a fern! All right! That's it! Forget it.that strange and interesting new plant you've been working on? Think. would attract business.. Mushnik! Some of those exotic plants Seymour's been tinkering around with.... Mushnik: I mean.that maybe what the firm needs is to move in a new direction? What Seymour's trying to say is. but has it ever occurred to you.are really unusual.. Mushnik waiting for customers. I'm through. There! Now... Seymour: (desperately) Mr.. Location: Shop.. You can·t mean!- Mr. Mushnik.. . Seymour. Mr. l'm afraid it isn't feeling very well today. . Seymour and Mr. Audrey. Mr. Mr. I've got To get out of Skid Row! Scene Two. Audrey: You can't. . Extinct. it sure would be swell To get out of here Bid the gutter farewell And get out of here I'd move heaven and hell To get out of Skid I'd do l don't know what To get out of Skid But a hell of a lot To get out of Skid People tell me there's not A way out of Skid But believe me. isn't that bizarre? Audrey: Seymour: Audrey: .... forgive me for saying so... Audrey: Seymour: Ah! You don't mean.I still could get out of here Someone tell Lady Luck That I'm stuck here Gee.... Mushnik: Kaput. Kaput.. . We thought that maybe some of those strange and interesting new plants.

then maybe..here in the window. I gave it my own name though. Lalalalalalala He didn't have anything unusual there that day. I think it's some kind of flytrap.but l haven·t been able to identify it in any of my books.. .. you remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago? Da-doo! I was walking in the wholesale flower district that day. After me? I hope you don't mind. l couldn't help noticing that strange and interesting plant.. Mushnik: Maybe what? Maybe what? Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound? Just because you put a strange plan in the window people don't suddenly(doorbell chimes) First Customer: (robot-like) Excuse me. You see. First Customer: Where did you get it? Song: Da-Doo Seymour/ Balcony Girls: Well. Mushnik: At least... (Glances at Audrey) I call it an Audrey ll.. Seymour: No one has. Seymour? Seymour: I don't know.... .. Do! Da-doo! . What kind of a weirdo plant is that. Hey da! He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings. sir. Audrey: Seymour: Mr.. if you were to put a strange and interesting plant like this. Doo! Da-doo And I passed by this place where this old Chinese man. Da-doo! 'Cause he knows strange plants are my hobby. What is it? Audrey: (proudly) It's an Audrey ll. First Customer: I've never seen anything like it before...Mr.

. Mushnik: $50!? First Customer: Can you break $100? Mr. it's simply amazing! 3rd customer enters.when suddenly and without warning. then returns) Oh. there was this. that's an unusual story. you know. First Customer: Then l'll just have to take twice as many. Seymour: Audrey: Mr. Mushnik: Twice as many? Twice as many!? Twice as many! 2nd customer enters. and while l'm here. . (heads out.. I could have sworn it hadn't been there before. I might as well take $50 worth of roses. . it's peculiar. . It got very dark. ..So I was just about to. and a fascinating plant. like something from another world. . this weird plant wasjust sitting there... Marge: Oh.. walk on by. 4 th Customer: There it is.total eclipse of the sun.... Audrey ll. Da-doo And when the light came back.but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways. my gosh.. And there was this strange humming sound.. 3 rd Customer: That plant in the window.. wherever did you get it? Couple enter.. Mr. Mushnik: $100? No.for dollar ninety-five Shalalalalalala-ooooooh First Customer: Well... Oopsy Doo Just stuck in among the zinnias. 2 nd Customer: (excitedly) That plant in the window.. Marge.

. sir! Thank you! Mr. Seymour: If l only knew what breed it was. Mushnik: Poor girl. Mushnik: You do? Seymour: I do.Customers: Thank you very much. (then to Seymour and Audrey) Just don't stand there! Quick. Oh My God! l never thought this could happen! I'm taking us all out to dinner tonight! Audrey: I'd love to. Mushnik: With that nogoodnik? I·m telling you. .. Mushnik: Thank you! Come again! Come and look at the weirdo plant some more! lt's just going to get bigger and more interesting. Mushnik. but he makes good money. You don't need a date with him. Mr. Mushnik: Who cares what breed it is? Look what it's done for business. I'm counting on you. Work. Seymour: Mr. Mushnik :(putting on his coat) Between us. Audrey.. but l have a date. Mr.. Goodnight. quick! Put the plant back. Seymour: I know. You need major medical. Mr. neither is the Audrey l.. . Mr.he's the only fella I got. Nurse this plant back to health. Mr. Goodnight. Audrey ii is not a healthy girl. Seymour. Besides. Mr. Mushnik.. Audrey: He's a rebel... What did you call it? Seymour: Audrey ll. Mr. Mushnik: Put that Audrey ll back in the window where passersby can see it. Mr. Seymour: Are we still going out? Audrey ii vomits. Enjoy dinner.. Mushnik: You're not going anywhere! You're staying right here and taking care of that sick plant! Seymour: I told you it's been giving me trouble.

Grow For Me Seymour: I've given you sunshine I've given you dirt You've given me nothing But heartache and hurt I'm begging you sweetly I'm down on my knee Oh. Seymour: (to Audrey ii) Twoey. please. l don't know what else I can do for you. little plant.. I'll give you a few drops If that'll appease Oh. Mushnik: So fix. .. grow for me I've given you plant food And water to sip I've given you potash You've given me zip Oh God. # You're listening to radio station WSKID. or are you just plain stubborn? What is it you want? What is it you need? Song. Radio: #W-S-K-I-D.Grow For Me (Continued)Seymour: I've given you sunlight I've given you rain Looks like you're not happy Less l open a vein. grow for me I've given you southern exposure To get you to thrive I've pinched you back hard Like l'm supposed to You're barely alive I've tried you at levels of moisture From desert to mud I've given you grow lights And mineral supplements What do you want from me? Blood? Pricks finger on a rose thorn. please. . Seymour: Ow! Damn roses! Damn thorns! Sucks bloody finger and hears Audrey ii imitating him.Mr.. Are you sickly. Song. Skid Row radio. Good night. how I mist you Oh pod. He walks to it and it tries to bite him. how you tease Now please. home of the hits..grow for me! Audrey ii is fed and grows twice its size.

.... High tomorrow should be in the low s with the low in the high s.. But first. .. The high temperature will be in the low s tonight. -Excuse me..except for some cloudy patches towards the evening. Thank you. l was told to come--You're next. .where wonderful people bring in their weird things.... the weather. The sun will be rising tomorrow at about : a.. The barometer reading should be . .and it should be setting around : p...I'd say miles per hour..In just a few minutes we'll bring you Wink Wilkensen's Weird World. ... . The wind will be about..m. ..m.. the sun should be out through most of the day. Sorry. The weather today will be partly cloudy with a chance of rain. In the suburbs.

put your clothes back on! You can't do this to me! . You're listening to radio station WSKID. Let me just fix this up. Wink Wilkensen. It should brighten up by noon. That feels a lot better! l got a great show for you today with some wonderful weird stuff! What are you doing here? Please.The cold front is moving in from the southwest... The weekend should be mild. Hi! lt's Weird Wink Wilkensen. with your host. And now. Wink Wilkensen's Weird World. How's everybody today? l got a bit of a stiff neck.. laughin' and scratchin' at ya. The average mean temperature for the season.

but l've got to kill you both with this machine gun.. Wink.What if your husband were to walk in? l'm here.you probably read about in the newspapers by the name of... .. Seymour. You got me! l feel so very weird! Our first guest is a young man. . . .. Let me play you down to your seat... l love your show.Seymour Krelborn. ls that correct? Who has discovered a new breed of plant unknown on this planet. l wish you folks at home could see this. Hello..... Wink. Seymour! Hello..

. The address! The address! l said. well. you remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago? And thus we conclude our interview with the young botanical-- Mind if I call you a genius? Gosh. -Did l miss it? -Mushnik's.Seymour. lt's still good advertising. mention the address! Oh. where did you get such a weird plant? Well. . I'd like to remind our listeners that the Audrey II is on display.... unidentified plant.exclusively at Mushnik's Skid Row Florists. no! The genius who has discovered this amazing..

imagine what he'd do if he ever got mad. just handcuffed. a little. So. but-- Don't tell me. . we're just friends.. girl. Hey. Get a guy who'll protect you. You got tied up. No. Girl. dump the chump.Seymour's first radio broadcast. l don't even deserve a sweet. That's for sure.. l tried to be on time. The mess you hang out with is hazardous to your health. l wanted to hear it so bad. But l can't leave him. lf he does this when he likes me. -Why not? -He'd get angry. considerate. How about the little jerk with the glasses? Seymour? Oh.

. if not..suddenly successful guy like Seymour. ''l know Seymour's the greatest ''But l'm dating a semi-sadist ''So l got a black eye And my arm's in a cast ''Still that Seymour's a cutie ''Well. -You got a point. That poor child suffers from low self-image. he's got inner beauty ''And l dream of a place ''Where we could be together at last ''A matchbox of our own ''A fence of real chain-link ''A grill out on the patio ''Disposal in the sink . -She got a problem..

Donna Reed ''There's plastic on the furniture ''To keep it neat and clean ''ln the Pine-sol scented air ''Somewhere that's green ''Somewhere that's green ''Between our frozen dinner ... ''.''A washer and a dryer ''And an ironing machine ''ln a tract house that we share ''Somewhere that's green ''He rakes and trims the grass ''He loves to mow and weed ''l cook like Betty Crocker ''And l look like...

. ''.. : ''We snuggle watching Lucy ''On our big.''And our bedtime.. enormous.. -inch screen ''l'm his December bride ''He's father..and Gardens magazine ''Far from Skid Row ''l dream we'll go ''Somewhere that's.. ''.. ''... he knows best ''The kids play Howdy Doody ''As the sun sets in the west ''A picture out of Better Homes....green'' .

God? He forgot! . Right away. Mrs. Shiva. Did you send Mrs. Shiva. Mrs. Mrs. Shiva's order? Mrs. holy cow ''That thing went bang kerboom And he's having some fun now ''-Some fun now -Hot damn! ''-Ain't he having some fun now? -Yes. ma'am ''He's having some fun now ''Ain't he having some fun now?'' Yes. Shiva? l forgot! You forgot? You forgot! Do you hear this. Shiva. No.''Poor Seymour pushed a broom Nothing in his news but gloom and doom ''Then he lit a fuse and give him room He started an explosion.

. . Mushnik's too hard on you. Get me the lilies. Mushnik's real mad at me.. customers? He forgot! Quick! We've got to do an emergency arrangement. -Glitter.Are you listening. That's okay. You got a lot on your mind. A huge family. Glue. Scissors. Mr. He took me out of the Skid Row Home for Boys. dropping off like flies! Sometimes l think Mr. l keep forgetting things. Birthday? Wedding? Baby? Funeral. What mind? The Shivas are our biggest funeral account. -l owe him everything.

buy some new clothes? l'm a very bad shopper.. .. floors to sweep. l could help you pick things out. Why don't you go out and do something nice for yourself like. l think you ought to raise your expectations...and every other Sunday off. Audrey.... like you.. lt's clear you suffer from a low self-image. lt's high time you get it fixed. l don't have good taste. You'd go shopping with me? .. l mean. You know..gave me a warm place to stay. You could? Sure. toilets to clean. .. Now that you're getting successful.

l got a date. this date? Some date. He's not a good. What professional rides a motorcycle and wears a black leather jacket? ''When l was younger. just a bad little kid ''My mama noticed funny things l did ''Like shooting puppies with a BB gun . not a multiple fracture. Again. A date gives you a corsage. Tonight? l can't tonight.Sure. He's a professional. clean kind of boy. You'd be seen with me in a public place like a department store? Sure.

''l'd poison guppies and when l was done ''l'd find a pussycat and bash in its head ''That's when my mama said ''What did she say? ''She said. 'My boy. be a dentist '''You'll be a success' . be a dentist '''People will pay you to be inhumane '''Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood '''And teaching would suit you still less '''Son. l think someday '''You'll find a way To make your natural tendencies pay '''You'll be a dentist '''You have a talent for causing things pain '''Son.

folks The leader of the plaque ''Watch him suck up that gas Oh. though they tell me l'm maladjusted ''And though it may cause my patients distress . that hurts! Wait. Open wide. l'm not numb. Oh. shut up. my God! ''He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good ''Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?'' Oh.''Here he is. here l come! ''l am your dentist ''And l enjoy the career that l picked ''l am your dentist ''And l get off on the pain l inflict ''l thrill when l drill a bicuspid ''lt's swell.

You want some nitrous oxide? Suit yourself. Orin Scrivello. This is my date. 'Aaah' ''Now spit! '' Excuse me. lt's all right. 'Aaah' ''Say. you can't go in there right now. in heaven above me ''l know that my mama's proud of me'' Oh. Relax. We're closed. Mama! '''Cause l'm a dentist ''And a success ''Say. Seymour. Seymour. sir.''Somewhere. . my boyfriend. 'Aaah' ''Say.

Excuse me. l even know your name. l saw you on the news.. . Give me a chance. right? . That's better. Doctor. l know you.. No.. Let's see. Excuse me. no.Simon? Seymour! Somebody talking to you? No. lt's.Cedric. lt's...DDS. l know! You're the plant guy. -lt's.. what? Excuse me..Cecil.. -No.

Doctor. Here's my card. You got the handcuffs? They're right in my bag. lt's catchy. You need a root canal or anything like that.That means it must be in there. what? Sorry. You've got to train them. Big. Cute name. ain't ya? -l'm sorry. Doctor. Shouldn't we be leaving now? You're quite the little chatterbox. give me a buzz. Doctor. Nice plant. stud. -Sorry. Sorry. . That is incredible! -What do you call that thing? -Audrey ll. lt's on the house.

sometimes. boy. At least we got each other. She deserves a prince. Seems like the whole world's going crazy. right? l'm gonna turn in. Twoey. Twoey. l'll see you in the morning. We'll start again on the left hand and-- l beg your pardon? Feed me. l don't know what's going on. Twoey. Oh. Here we go again. you talked! You opened your trap and you said-- . Come on. not a sadistic creep like him.You ought to see the way he treats her. The man's a total disgrace to the dental profession. l haven't got much left. Give me a few days to heal.

Krelborn! Feed me now! l can't! l'm starving! Maybe l can squeeze a little more out of this one. l've got an idea. boy! Look.Feed me. Must be blood. l'll pick you up some nice chopped sirloin. That's disgusting. More! More! More! There isn't any more! What do you want me to do? Slit my wrists? Oh. Feed me. Must be fresh. . l don't want to hear this.

Let's face it. Audrey ll.Does it have to be human? Feed me! Does it have to be mine? Feed me! Where am l supposed to get it? ''Feed me. How am l supposed to keep feeding you? Kill people? . Seymour ''Feed me all night long '''Cause if you feed me. Seymour ''Feed me all night long ''That's right. boy ''You can do it ''Feed me. Seymour ''l can grow up big and strong'' You eat blood.

you're a plant. An inanimate object.l'll make it worth your while. ''Would you like a Cadillac car? ''Or a guest shot on Jack Paar? ''How about a date with Hedy Lamarr? You're gonna get it. pal. baby. baby? The sudden success around here? The press coverage? Look. if you want it. Like see you get everything your sacred greasy heart desires. What? You think this is all coincidence. who's to say l can't do anything l want? Like what? Like deliver. ''How'd you like to be a big wheel? . punk? lf l can talk and l can move. Does this look inanimate to you.

licky sweets l crave ''Come on. and your life Will surely rival King Tut's ''Show some initiative. don't be a putz ''Trust me.''Dining out for every meal? ''l'm the plant that can make it all real ''You're gonna get it ''l'm your genie. boy! ''l don't know'' . Seymour. l'm your friend l'm your willing slave ''Take a chance Feed me and ''You know the kind of eats And red-hot treats ''The kind of sticky. work up some guts And you'll get it'' ''l don't know'' Come on.

kid What will it be? ''Money? Girls? ''One particular girl? ''How about that Audrey? ''Think it over . ''l have so. ''.. ''.reservations'' Tell it to the Marines.....so many strong..Lighten up..... ''Should l go..mutilations?'' ''You didn't have nothing Till you met me ''Come on..and perform.. ''.. ''...

covered in glitz ''A little nookie gonna clean up those zits. But it's true.''There must be someone you could ''Real quiet like and get me some lunch! ''Think about a room at the Ritz ''Wrapped in velvet. and you'll get it ''Gee. . l'd like a Harley machine Tooling around like l was James Dean ''Making all the guys on the corner turn green ''lf you want to be profound lf you really got to justify ''Take a breath and look around ''A lot of folks deserve to die'' Wait a minute! That's not a very nice thing to say. isn't it? l don't know anyone who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant! Sure you do.

Stupid woman! Christ. Doctor! l'm sorry. the Vitalis! l'm out of it! ''lf you want a rationale lt isn't very hard to see ''Stop and think it over. Doctor! Messes my hair! Get the door open. you little slut! l'm trying. Quick. Doctor! l'm trying! Get the Vitalis. what a frigging scatterbrain! l'm sorry. pal ''The guy sure looks like plant food to me ''The guy sure looks like plant food to me . Doctor! Falls off the motorcycle! l'm clumsy.

Arthur Denton! l'm next! . very lucky.''The guy sure looks like plant food to me ''He's so nasty treating her rough ''Smacking her around And always talking so tough ''You need blood And he's got more than enough ''l need blood And he's got more than enough ''You need blood And he's got more than enough ''So go get it! '' Are they finished? My turn? Sit! What did he do? Tell me everything! They have to do that to remove the jaw. -Next! -lt's me. Consider yourself very.

.. Their mother taught them everything they know..Nurse! Does that have an appointment? Ask it. who was recommended to me. slow root canal.who's the brother of a man l usually see Sundays.. l'm off duty. -Shut up! Yes.by somebody l saw Monday. l went to a terrible dentist Wednesday. People think she shouldn't be working... l've been saving all month for this. but elderly.. l go to her because l'm just . l'm sure l need a long. Let's go. -l have a history of dental problems. She's gifted. Doctor. l think l need a root canal.. ..

. Doctor.incredibly devoted to her strength.'' The dentist l went to had the greatest car. the problem. Everybody calls him ''Doctor'' and he's not really a doctor.. l thought. ''What a neat job! lf only l were a dentist. but after it was all finished. She can't really see who you are. but she knows the sound of your voice. she eventually finds it and she does it. l can only go so long. Oh. l wish l had that stamina. l don't ever want to have to be just-- Comfy? Yes.. lf you tell her where it is. He had a Corvette. l remember the first time l went to a dentist. my God! l got out of there okay. That's how l want to be.

. using incredibly wonderful equipment. You are something special! Thank you! lt's your professionalism that l respect. ''Aaah. great! You are something special.. Say. l thought. Let's look at that mouth.they gave me a candy bar. You work with incredible professionals..'' Yeah.. Don't stop. ''Please! '' l'm going to get a candy bar! Get out! .. ''l get a candy bar?'' You go through that and get chocolate. Doc! Don't stop! Come on! More! What do you want? Say..

Does this scare you? Yes. Would you like if l took this and made straight for your goddamn incisors? lt'd hurt. right? You'd scream! Get your ass in there! .What's wrong? Get out of here! What's the matter? Go on! Get out of here! This way. l'm gonna tell each and every one of my friends about you-- What's this? Goddamn sicko! Let me ask you something.

What do you say? There's always time for dental hygiene. Sturdy. Seymour. They don't make them like this anymore. You ever seen the results of a neglected mouth? Look. kid..-Don't l know you? -Seymour Krelborn. . This could happen to you. That wisdom tooth. Unless l take immediate action! What's that? The drill.. We met yesterday. Your mouth's a mess. We'll rip that bugger right out of there. lt's rusty! lt's an antique.

The gas isn't for you... Thank God. Seymour. You see. ln fact. lt's for me. l'm going to use my special gas mask! l find a little giggle gas before l begin increases my pleasure enormously. .. Seymour..heavy. l'm going to want some gas for this..dull. l want to really enjoy this... l thought you wouldn't use any. Here we go! Oh. l'm flying! The things l'm going to do to that mouth! What the hell is that? A gun? The kid's got a goddamn revolver! .

Chop it up. would you? l could asphyx-- What'd l ever do to you? Nothing. okay. Her who? Oh. what'd they say to you? Who? . Audrey. lt's what you did to her. Give me a hand. would you? No.l'm in trouble now. What? Feed me! Okay. her. huh? Wait till l turn this gas off. l guess you wouldn't.

Audrey. Talk to me. They say he's disappeared! The police told you that? They suspect foul play. l can't even think about what they think.. lt's Orin. Tell me what they said. Things all over the floor. found the place a shambles. Would it be so terrible if something had happened to him? . this morning..The police. They do? His receptionist. They think.. nothing. Don't cry. Gas masks everywhere. Oh.

.. lt'd be a miracle.secretly l wished it. Seymour.. Not to mention all the money l'd save on Epsom salts and Ace bandages... lf he met with foul play or some terrible accident of some kind. Nice guys.. Don't you waste another minute thinking about that creep! There's a lot of guys that'd give anything to go out with you. .. what a thing to say! Well.Seymour. l don't deserve a nice guy. . . You see? But l'd still feel guilty.it'd be partly my fault just because.. would it? lt wouldn't be terrible at all.

You're a very nice person.. lt's a nightspot. DDS. . -You don't know the half of it! l've led a terrible life.-That's not true. l deserved a creep like Orin Scrivello. That's all behind you now. ... You got nothing to be ashamed of. Low and nasty apparel. The Gutter? The Gutter. l'd put on.cheap and tasteless outfits.. not nice ones like this. l worked there on my nights off when we weren't making much money. You know where l met him? ln The Gutter.

Underneath the bruises and the handcuffs. ''Lift up your head ''Wash off your mascara ''Here. take my Kleenex Wipe that lipstick away ''Show me your face ''Clean as the morning ''l know things were bad ''But now they're okay ''Suddenly Seymour ''ls standing beside you ''You don't need no make-up ''Don't have to pretend . you know what l saw? A girl l respected. l still do.l always knew you were.

''Suddenly Seymour ''ls here to provide you ''Sweet understanding ''Seymour's your friend'' ''Nobody ever treated me kindly ''Daddy left early ''Mama was poor ''l'd meet a man And l'd follow him blindly ''He'd snap his fingers at me ''l'd say. 'Sure' ''Suddenly Seymour ''ls standing beside me ''He don't give me orders ''He don't condescend .

''Suddenly Seymour ''ls here to provide me ''Sweet understanding ''-Seymour's my friend -Tell me this feeling ''Will last 'til forever ''Tell me the bad times Are clean washed away ''Please understand that lt's still strange and frightening ''For losers like l've been lt's so hard to save ''Suddenly Seymour ''He purified me ''He purified you ''Suddenly Seymour ''Showed me l can ''Yes. you can .

''Learn how to be more

''The girl that's inside me

''With sweet understanding

''With sweet understanding

''Seymour's your man''

You love her madly, don't you, schmuck?

Mr. Mushnik, you scared me.

l scared him? After what l've seen, l scared him?

Do you think l didn't know, huh? Oh, l knew.

l knew you'd lay down here, on your pathetic little cot...

...and dream about her.

But l didn't know the lengths to which you'd go...

...the depths to which you'd sink!

What depths? What sink?

What are you talking about?

Little red dots all over the linoleum.

Little red spots on the concrete outside.

l'm talking blood, Krelborn. l'm talking under my own roof.

An axe murderer!

''He's got your number now''

l saw everything.

''He knowsjust what you've done''

Everything you did to her boyfriend.

''You've got no place to hide''

l saw you chopping him.

''You've got nowhere to run''

lt's true. l chopped him up, but l didn't kill him!

''He knows your life of crime''

Tell it to the police.

''l think it's suppertime!

''Come on, come on

''Think about all those offers

''Come on, come on

''Your future with Audrey

''Come on, come on

''Ain't no time to turn squeamish

''Come on

''l swear on all my spores

''When he's gone The world will be yours

''lt's suppertime''

You know, Krelborn, it kills me doing this.

But considering you're almost like a son to me, l'm thinking...

...maybe we don't have to go to the police.

The plant? Of course. you'd have to teach me how to take care of it while you're away. But then.... Meanwhile. . l would keep the plant. Feed it what? Minerals...We don't? l'm thinking. if you'd rather hang. What do l have to do? Just feed it. Give me your secret gardening tips.what if l kept my mouth shut and gave you a one-way ticket out of town? You'd do that. sir? You could lay low for a while... say years. .

-Yes. we meet you! What an occasion! Let's toast it. darling. Let's talk turkey.. But whatever you do.? ''lt's suppertime'' Seymour Krelborn! Finally.Thursdays. -Need a pen? . -We'll book you on lecturing tours.. Yeah? What the hell is. Yes? Whatever you do.. Up yours.. So get the plant ready and wear a clean shirt.. Relax.... -Just sign this release. We're sending photographers Thursday. you should give it water. Sign here.

The first weekly gardening show on the network! -And you're gonna host it. my God! And here he is himself. it's a cinch to get ratings. -Sign! ''They say the meek shall inherit You know the Book doesn't lie ''lt's not a question of merit lt's not demand and supply ''They say the meek are gonna get it. -The title is Marvin's. Mr. -The concept is mine. Seymour Krelborn! .Aren't you thrilled? lt's the cover of Life magazine! Dessert? Son. ''You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to them'' Oh. you lucky kid.

... Not now. . . .about this particularly amazing agricultural phenomenon. All of you.that's made you one of the most talked about plant scientists in the country-- Cut! What happened to the goddamned greenery? -lt just needs to be fed.. -So feed it...the people in our television audience have for you. And l can't feed it now. Where's the plant food? lt doesn't eat plant food.. Come and tell our viewers at home and elsewhere. Krelborn.Mr... there are many questions.... Leave me alone.. l can't feed it. Then l'll feed it.

l'll lose everything.. Leave me alone. Go away. lt wasn't nice throwing those people out. l'm sorry. You're acting funny. What am l gonna do? l never should've started. l'll lose her. it'll die. l know.. if l don't feed it. Now.Just go away. Those men said Seymour Krelborn's Gardening Tips. Get out of here. . Who are you talking to? Nobody. Leave me alone! Everybody go away! Leave me alone! You're hysterical. but l did.

. Well. They said they're coming back with money? Tomorrow. Together? lf you'll have me.is sure to be a very big TV show. l'm sorry. They're coming back tomorrow and they'll bring you a great big check. After tomorrow we could leave here together.. l wish you were enjoying your success. Audrey. you shouldn't. l know. Then we could afford to get out of here. l feel terrible.. will you have me? What do you mean? . What do you mean? That's it.

Feed me. Oh. get married. l'll give you a wonderful life with no plants. -You're talking peculiar again. this is so sudden. Hurry... Audrey. We'll start tonight. Then that's it! We'll go get married right now.. -No plants at all. . We'll go to City Hall. Seymour. Audrey. Will you? Sure. l've got to get ready! Hurry. l promise. get the money and then we'll live happily ever after. Some nice hotel.and spend the night somewhere safe. .Marry me. Tomorrow l'll be on TV..

Tough titty. Watch your language. Yes or no? You sure do drive a hard bargain. Done. Fine. -How about that? -Don't do me no favors! lt's my last offer. Great. pick you up some nice ground round. Cut the crap. Feed me. . l'll run to the corner. so stop asking.Under no circumstances. Feed me! No! No more! l can't take living with the guilt. Bring on the meat. l will not.

Something is very wrong here. -''Hey. neither. lt talks. my God! l don't believe it. little lady. baby. It's me!'' Oh. Am l dreaming this? No. it ain't Seymour. l need me some water in the worst way. . Believe it. and you ain't in Kansas. hello'' Who is this? ''You're looking cute as can be'' ls this someone l know? ''You're looking mighty sweet'' Seymour! ''No.Don't think you're getting dessert. -Hello.

lt'll be easy. . ''And now it's suppertime! '' Oh. l'm a goner.Look at my branches. ''Don't need no twist of lime'' Here we go. l'm drying up. ''Don't need no glass or no ice'' l'll get the can. little lady. l'll drink it straight'' Your leaves are dry. doll. be nice'' Do you talk to Seymour like this? ''Sure do. honey! ''Come on and give me a drink'' l don't know if l should. ''Hey. relax.

.. you'd still like me even if l wasn't famous? l'd still love you. But it was so cute and harmless. Terrible things. Yes. l'm okay. l should've stopped when l found out what it lived on... l'm sorry.and we started doing business and making money and you liked me-- Do you really think l liked you because of that? l liked you from the day l came to work here.Get off of her! Get off! -Are you okay? -Yes. l never meant to hurt anybody. You mean. lt's just that somehow it makes things happen. Really? . l never meant to hurt you. . Seymour.

. you can--'' Excuse me.and a sweet little house.... . pardon me.All l ever wanted was you.l've got something l want to discuss with you.. . You're the most wonderful person that ever lived. lf you two kids would stop singing for a moment. We're gonna get that little house and everything will be okay. Which one of you is Seymour Krelborn? l am.. . beg your pardon... ''Suddenly Seymour ''ls standing beside you ''Suddenly Seymour ''Showed me l can ''Yes.

and sell them to florist shops across the nation.. We take leaf cuttings. We're very proud of it. Licensing and Marketing. -He will be. . Pretty soon every household in America could have one. develop little Audrey lls.. Picture this. Son.. kid.lt's a pleasure. Patrick Martin. Every household in America! . Has your phone been busy! l've been trying to reach you for weeks. boy. World Botanical Enterprises. We've come up with one incredible idea. Me and the guys at the home office have been following this plant of yours.. are we gonna make a fortune together! -He's not interested.

For starters.worldwide! Worldwide? Think of it. . Audrey lls everywhere! With the right advertising. kid. boy. Bigger than Hula-Hoops? What do you say. Why this thing could go. Seymour? Do we have a deal? No! Keep your contract. Forget the money! Keep it and get out of here! -Are you nuts? -Yeah... Nobody's touching that plant.. l'm nuts. this thing could be bigger than Hula-Hoops.. We're offering a lot of money. Get out of here! Go on! Get out of here! .

isn't it? . l've got to. Are you thinking what l'm thinking? l think so. l'm the one to get us out. Audrey. it's me that got us into this. Wait! l'm coming with you. We've got to stop it. This is between me and the vegetable. eating! That's what you had in mind all along. l'll bust that pod wide open. He'll keep eating until there's nothing left. l have to end this once and for all. Seymour! We've got to. ''Every household in America! '' Thousands of you. No. Wait for me.l'll come back when you're in a better mood.

We're talking about world conquest! And l want to thank you! You're not going to get away with this! Your kind never does! l don't care what it takes.No shit. son You got a lot of gall ''We're gonna do things my way ''Or we won't do things at all ''You're in trouble now ''You don't know what You're messing with . Only one of us gets out of here alive! ''Better wait a minute ''You better hold the phone ''Better mind your manners Better change your tone ''Don't you threaten me. Sherlock! We're not talking about one hungry plant.

''You got no idea ''You don't know what you're looking at When you're looking here ''You don't know what you're up against No. green mother From outer space ''So get off my back ''Get out of my face '''Cause l'm mean and green . no way. no how ''You don't know what You're messing with ''But l'm gonna tell you now ''l'm just a mean. green mother From outer space ''And l'm bad'' Outer space? ''And it looks like you've been had ''l'm a just mean.

kid ''The lion don't sleep tonight And if you pull his tail he roars ''You say that ain't fair You say that ain't nice ''You know what l say. you never did ''You don't know what you're looking at But that's tough titty. boy? ''You want to save your hide? ''You want to see tomorrow? ''You better step aside ''Better take a tip. boy ''Want some good advice? ''Better take it easy 'Cause you're walking on thin ice ''You don't know what you're dealing with No.''And l am bad ''Want to save your skin. 'Up yours!' ''Watch me now! .

green mother A real disgrace ''And you got me fighting mad ''l'm just a mean. green mother From outer space ''And l'm bad ''l'm just a mean. beyond the moon ''You can keep the 'Thing' Keep the 'lt' ''Keep the creature They don't mean shit'' All right. that does it! ''l got killer buds . green mother From outer space ''l'm gonna trash your ass Gonna rock this place ''l'm mean and green ''And l am bad! ''l don't come from no black lagoon l'm from past the stars.''l'm just a mean.

you got the point l'll bust your balls ''l'm mean and green'' Bye-bye. shit! .A power stem ''Nasty thorns and l'm using them Better move it out ''Nature calls. Seymour! Oh.