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volume sixty-six, issue 7 Masthead managing editor-in-chief maya morgan | ‘content editonin-chief Toeashantsman merit production manager ania Keller copy editor ‘vt abit polities alexheyman opinions cab sandblom & Inc stack arts & culture ash man &vinapersand avant-garg, liam p. bryant & josh bienstock grace kovacs maya morgan | sal tabeya mdasih staff emeritus Demy evans contributors saugstine fake britney spears January 27, 2021 Editor's Address ‘The past 10 months have raised a lot of questions: whats the point? Where do we go after this? How do we fix this? Can we ‘ven fx this? Escapism ithick inthe ara we scramble to ‘consume shows, movies, and otber media t let hep us fel that weare somewhere-anywhere— ele A regular refrain has been the celebrations we wil have once ‘we rel vaccinated. The hot gil shit of next suramer, the parties and quiet gatherings, lying on the leor in silence but longsde or friends no longer alone. Underpinning ese Wishes i the desire of mutual subsistence, survival, and care. ‘The deep trth that we need each other, move than we think. ‘These dreams ae often accompanied bya fantasy of lie without worrying about safety or money. where questions of ethical eonsumtion and sustainability are answered. To create ‘home with open doors ana garden out back. That wean ‘hare with our Toved ones. Nested together like peas ina pod find our supporting vines also twine together, united into Farge community founded in love Bot even these dreams are messy an challenging. Aesthetics of colonial pastoral fantasies saturate ous understandings of ‘what commit eae should ook Tike. Why is that? What docs that mean? We wanted this issue tobe a pace fr those feelings, questions, concemns and more. 2021 i prety painfol far, we dont know how we wil fat. But tela ‘moments in these discourses and interruptions of simple fantasies, de here with usand think, even just for a montent, hove ean we come together? Enjoy the commune issue, Leas Huntsman Merkur & Maya Morgan Btitrs-in-Chisf 2020/2008 About us ‘The Gargoyle is University College's greasiest student newspaper and publishes evry two weeks. ‘Weare a pape tha believes tat sometimes you shouldbe angry, and that sometimes you should beloud, an ifyou have nat hada voice before, you deservea vice. We do net give print space to bigots and we donot feign neutrality on issues of socal asi. At this moment everything in our office ism to paste. Production bi-weekly on discon join our server for instant lot) uegargosle@ submissions@uegargosles wowatcargylece Next SUE wile FEATULE ove ANNUAL 18ST SE¥ 6$UE TO GET mr A DIGITAL RELEASE. FOR \ Yur PRIVACY, THis YEAR's > CONTEST WILL BE ILLUsTaaTED! RULES \. YOU MUST BE 1SoROEDEM To ENTER 2. MASTHEAD + STAFF CANNOT ENTER 3. You NUDE MUST BE \ebUSTRATED: H, ENTRIES ARE ENCOURAGED To \. INCODE A GARGOYLE. THE PAPER og \) THE CREATURE — WWE AREN'T PICKY! SUBMIT Your ILLUSTRATED Ehomica TO GARGOYLE @ GMAIL.COM BY WEDS BAY, FEBRUARY y INCLUDE “NUDES Contest" THE SUBJECT LINE elope fafeye tots) How to Killa Phoenix ‘alex heyman (Once upon atime, every society was a commune Ina sense, anyway. The modern anthropological ‘consenin i that most societies throxghout Fhuman history ~ speifialy, most hunter jatherer and subsistence agriculture societies — Fave had gift economies, in which the products ‘oflabor are distributed amongst the community Svithout explicit agreements oF exchanges (or joney or ater goods). AS longa the yaunity has enough ood toward you (tlc i's more ike to have if yourve been ‘contributing enough labor yourse, sharing in the direct acquisitions of others is no big deal. “This economic arrangements related 9 What ‘Mars and Engels called “primitive communism “and while some of these soietis stl have perceptible inequality it generally ist as ‘extreme as that of most tate cociotes. (Alden Smith etal, (2010) estimated an average Gini ‘coefficient for hunter-gatherer societies of 0:5, ‘comparable to Denmark.) And now, we vein a word of private property find vact esti: Somehow, wo gt here from ‘world of nothing but eomimines: How? “The sual story is that, starting afew thousand sears ago, some subsistence agriculture societies eeameeficent enough a farming that ty ‘coil sire enough fod for eversone without ‘evenone having tobe farm This permitted the on-farm to speciale nother things = including warfare, and all helogisties and technology there This enabled them to enforce Ins establishing pvate property especialy priate property for themtelves~ and fo onder other societies and esterminat them, ‘displace them or assimilate tem into thelr Way ‘fife. Thus, equality spread ‘But this tory is incomplete. Why did the achievement of agcutural surpluses lead to Some peopie not farming at al rater than everyone just faring ess? And wit did Inequality develop in some places thousands of years earlier than in others (to th extent that, ‘galtaian non-state societies stil exist)? ‘The ansivers, alive, can be found in the ‘conceptualiztion of soil change asa ‘evolutionary proces, analogousto the process ‘of biologial evolution by natural selection. Yep, Tnveneof those “ultra evolution” people- Let ze explain The evotionary process operates {nthe population of societies around the world. ‘The "genetic material of secetes ae thelr belies technologies, and socal and economic habits meme, fox like Memes ean spread fom society to society through callaral ‘exeiange and/or foribe imposition, Societies themselves ean grom, shrink, die out, merge, ssnilate other scletes, and repreduce via ‘expansion followed by divergence oftheir “ferent parts All societies shat the iit pool ‘flan! and resources that exist on Earth, _Anexcationary press has two main divers of ‘Shang: vartafon and election. In gaan, ‘aviation is eused by genetic mutation, and ‘Sleton icv by the fac tht orgasms ‘ifering tratsaffet how wel they suvive and ‘eproduce in diferent environments. ln puoi variation cased by nts socket ‘Stange (oie tur seated tothe ‘competition of muipe memes for naence ‘xereach sey’ prope and insti. ‘Sesion, mean, caused byte fact that Societe’ difering memetictrats their bbls {echnelogies and oval and sonomichabts Sfiect ar ability to control and and resources in iteron geographical ond ner societal ‘Tobe clear, this is nota claim thatthe societies that are most able to control land an resoarees (orthe ones ho care most sour doing that) sre ‘chjectively the best ones in general, what hatural snot always good, I is also nota claim that the sorts of societies tat enjoy the most olutonary uocess right nov are objectively more evolved"; remember, evolutionary {s relative toe environment fyour society's a few thousand people confined tothe desert of [New Mexico, subsistence agriculture isa god [et but attempting industrial pitas wl get you ile, So kt’ complete the story we told eater. Why ai inequality develop in some places much tarlier than others? Beenze come environments ‘sere more condvive than others tothe chlevement of agricultural surpluses, depending onthe climate and the availability of ‘domestica crops and animals, among other factors, (It was ola matte of time beore | got Guns, Germs, and Stee up in hore.) And wiry did sgrealtral surpluses ead 0 inequality, rather than egaltrian labor saving? Well they did’. [Not alays, anyway I's st that, for some intemal reawons or ohers, some societies with agricultural surpluses developed inequality slong with the cultaral il to use there reiting tniltary superionty to expand snd acs the land and/or people of other societies. And then that’s what they did and ify wanted to not set asinlted yout ad to copy the evolutionary vantages ofthe unequal societies, becoming ‘nel yourself. Ths inequality spread. Lam ofthe opinion tht we Ture Islanders of the leftist persuasion too often talk asf history Bogan in 1491, with colonialism already underway inthe Old World courtesy of ‘manarchial European soitis, unknowingly Itching to devour the New World as wel. And 10 be sure, t's immensely useful the world we vein total in detail about the colonialism of the past few centuries that has so powerflly Shaped it. But is also valuable o remind ‘ussives every so often that colotaism an the apitlisn it spawed haven't always existed ~ ‘ot just to reassure ourselves that they could ene day disappear, but to warn ourselves that they ‘eventually managed to come Int existence from $ starting point of mone egalitarian sora ferangements Even ifwe manage to eradicate them here and now, how do we prevent the from ever being reiwented through the social analogue of eanvergant evolution, rising fom the sates to devout the world anew? Iso ballove that communal ving is more el than eapitalsm then history makes ler that treating a more ethical society than what we Ihave now isnot enough. | wont try to offer a detailed action plan hore, but wilotfera big picture frameworks we ned to sabotage the evolationary processes that led tothe development of capitalism inthe rst, place. One hypothetical approach to this is {aking away capitalism's selective advantage to change the environment so that shoald it ever reappear it wil alto spread and quickly die ‘out This could look ike creating a society thats ‘ot on more ethical than a capitalist one, bit better at controling land and resoures, ahd Insuscepeible to conversion into a capitalist Sceiety via cultural contact with an existing fapitalist society Ife ean bea capitalism at {ts on game tke this, though, the ather option isto sabotage variation to shape all of the ‘world’s soaletios so that capital can never gain take rot in any of them, anywhere, the first place. This could theoretically be done by preventing the conception and eoinmuniation Of eaptalst ideas within a society ~ but hat Semele an sf lot ike state-sponsored aoogial suppression, and | dunno if want a State with that kind of power. (And. mean, 1 dunn i you want astate at all) Aernatively, perhaps we could shape al societies soit’ only ter in the interests ofa minority of people to ‘make a society capitalistic, and the majority holdsthem n check ~ and the people who might want eaptalism also lack the desire to break off and form their own capitalist society together. (To make that part happen, maybe just remind thom that most of them wonld inetaby be proles) Thats how democratic socialism dees, Fight? That sounds pretty goo “Organic big bush patchouli sex” hippie murder gang?” The Dichotomy of Commune Tropes in TV and Movi ash man el lke Te seen a hundred shows with ‘ommiunesin them, So, n preparation for ‘his issue, I tried to make alist of them. 1 ‘ame grand total of just five TV shows oF movies that featured communes, and most of them were questionably situated inthis category. came up with two possible explanations for my overestimation: either TTve re-watched the same commune flicks so ‘many times tat they are oversaturated in my memory or that, when they do appear, communes stick in your mind. Ina vain attempt to think of myself asa more well- versed media consumer, I chose to investigate the latter. After thorough journalistic esearch (re-watching the entire second season of The Sinner in one day and making the startling discovery that Wanderlust is no Jonger on Netflix), feame tothe conclusion that TV and film's depiction of communes ‘often over-relies on a fev hey stereotypes that ‘make them easier to connect towel or “twisted ‘established concepts. Depictions of ‘communes ae constructed to make them ‘stand ont as sites of mystery or comedy; its ether “organic big bush patchouli sex” or “twisted hippie murder gang" In their narrow-minded conceptions of alternative lifestyles, pop culture tends to reduce the ‘commune to these two central tropes, making ‘cooperative communities a seting to fel suspicion or goofiness Tneither take on this realm of counterculture, media tends to misinterpret the difference Implied in the ‘counter’ part of. cosintercultre. When framing the commune ‘asa place of confit and crime, they ‘emphasize antagonism between communards land members of mainstream society ~ the tense dichotomy of insiders’ and ‘outsiders, sis seen with The Sinners Vera Walker. ‘They rely on the us’ versus them’ dynamic and the sense of disconnected, unshackled living to foster darkness, making the ‘commune reminiscent of sinister seeret society. Oppostely, in comedic depictions, ‘the communard is portrayed as the ‘embodiment of wide-eyed innocence and idealism, Take Our idiot Brother, for ‘example, Paul Rudd's trust and boundless ‘compassion for others i exactly what makes him the figure ofthe idiot." His devotion to personal authenticity is twisted into a ‘weakness and sign of ineptitude for comedic effect. His characters call back to the hippie lifestyle ofthe 6os; however, in place ofthe pastoral mythmaking that has often ‘accompanied the romanticized image ofthe hippie in twentith-cemtury cinema, Rudd's communard character is marked by absuedity fd social incompatibility So, why do movies and TV shows do this? Why do they rely on elchés and false conceptions of alternative intentional communities? Isit to villainize and stigmatize the realization ofa cooperative, leftist way of life? Or, perhaps, itis because anelement of the unknown persist in our perspective of communal ving. How do fommunes function? What is life in one really Tike? tn lew of any conscientious answers these questions, media chooses to rely on the stereotype ofthe dark, mysterious commune lrthe funny one, often ridiculously and foolishly espousing peace and love. And, honesty, both ar pretty entertaining. Naked Guy The Newbies Soul The Closed-Off Controller ~ The Winx Live- Action Netflix Show is Horrible Ugly + Stupid Trash anita (don put my last name dont want the Winx show creators to find me) am very mad and very upset at the li action remake of Winx. tis bad anditis rcs (To be far, Wins the cartoon was also probably racist but at leat shit was sparkly and peopl of colour existed and they were hot and id magic). Apparently, ashows lineup can only have cone decently cast person of colour ata time. ‘They tooka fun cartoon about fies that watched every dayin 2004 and tumed it into asad show about white people being boring, ‘They sti they made the casting choice to show different body types. How does that excuse making Flora white?? Or making them dress so bad?? Oh, I'm sory, do you need to be Skinny to wear glittery crop tops?? Yes, every time was overweight in my life the 1d Lord whispered into my ear and sad, "Now you have to dress Ugly” 1 don't ike how the articles crticzingit only brought up people being mad about the ‘whitewashing [think thats dumb, | am not only mad about Musa and Flora being white Tam also mad that theres no fucking fashion. “Oh, it’ adversity issue” NO, ITS ASTYLE ISSUE, Donat pretend lke the only problem sthat your poor sweet show is ‘being cancelled by oversenstive fans ~ the shows also very ugly and stupid, ven ifit was wel cast the show would sil be bad because the clothes are bad and the colour palette strash And don't know what the plots are about because refuse to watch the show, but they're probebly some Straight nonsense. | bet Bloom and Skye stare at each other longingly and he kisses her ramatically and they never communicate or talk about ther feelings. Also, bet they have missionary sex while edgy musi pays Speaking of which, apparently, they fucked the show up because they flit should include ‘more mature themes’ but- everyone {nthe Winx Club is supposed to be 167? What ‘sit with adults casting 23-year-lds as teens and making them fuck? It’s disgusting and donot want oseeit. + + Aso, being an adult apparently means thet the world gets really dark and grey and also ugly. While this may be true it makes horrible television, They could have made Alfea a university (thats ‘mature themed!) ~ then it could be about adults but still be fun, (Oh, andifyou say, "the show isn't meant for yout please shat up. [know thet it's nt ‘meant for me, Its not meant for anyone except forsinners rttingin hell. Anyways, here isthe alternate reality Winx live action I made up in my head: First of all, everyone is queer. Technais a hot hacker chick, and Musais abisexual punk ‘Asian musician and they are gay together Also, ley and Bloom have an enemies-to- loversrelationship, andthe rest of witches are sareasti and mean but ina hot way. Flora is acottage-core and Aisha does cool water~ bender tricks and itis a joyto watch. Also, the “boys schoo!” thing doesn't exist and Skye, Rien, and Brandon just go to Alfea with the rst ofthe Wins Club, where thy get into fun misadventure together. Aso, everyone wears sparkly ¥2K clothes, and «everyone is happy and colours are bright and the worldis at peace [will not be taking criticism at this time, Your Musical a Leftist Com Songs for farming and, yor doing other commune stu! “Come to the Beach” by Winnetka Rowling League Ditch your capitalist hustle to enjoy the natural beauty ofthe world around you. T ‘promise that your heavy ife will look easier from the coastline, irty” by grandson A musical ell-out to the complacent masses, Much like the commune ise, grandson ‘ejects the selé absorption and apathy of broader society, yelling atal of us to give shit Give love, care about your neighbour, and get your hands dity by actually ehanging and breaking from the things that upeet yo, Toke notes and strive to give an emphatic yes to the song’s interrogation, as the good ‘communara woul. igns” by Five Man Electrical Band Its the first song Tever learned al the words to and an anthem about breaking from social ‘constraints. The 3974 tune decries private land ‘owmership and how it changes our relationships with nature. Celebrate cooperative living and enjoy some ‘uninterrupted seenery while shaming the nnarrowminded! Scott-Heron THis song is a radical cassie about the reality of change. Scott-Heron chastises the superficial focus of media while suggesting that the revolution mast be internal: we must challenge our thinking to challenge the status que. mune yu know, ff to “Cold In The Summer” by Dan Mangan. Mangen's sweet, sweet voice lements the fact that he's sipping into mandanity and ‘meaninglessness. Be ike the song's kid on the run and scursy away from capitalism: driven routine to the sanctity of the “Going Up The Country" by Canned Heat The PERFECT song for a montage of rural ‘commune life, “We're All In This Together” by Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Lucas Grabeel, Ashley Tisdale Asong to inspire togetherness and ‘cooperation = the very foundation of any ‘commune worth its sat. JW a “We're All In This Together” by Sam Roberts Band ‘Same as above but without a dance number “Pink Motel” by The Glorious Sons Let the commune be your pink motel ~a respite from capitalist values, The song isa plea to lover to stop putting superficial ‘worries before their relationship. Enjoy Brett Emmons sereeming in your ear about ‘@e*ing material concerns and expectations. “Imagine” by John Lennon A pence and love staple, VULLULLLLLLLLLLLLLULTLLLLTDLLLTLLLTDLULD DLT TDL, FEEEEEEEEEE Le Wy LLCO Earn When the Wilderness is Already Occupied Escaping to the Wi Juki bk kk “UULLLLILILILLU LUAU UIE tS CULM MMM MMMM MM NN hhh Sone ‘seems thatthe words cult and commune signify the same phenomens, but fom Aiferent postions relative to power It seems fitting given this, thatthe Gargoyle has now done editions on both, The cl, as we are ‘lasialy trsined to think of, encourages, deference toa supreme leader, groupthink, sally reinforced patterns of behavior, ‘mages of commodity production that u- rately serve those in power. These groups ae difclt oleae and have internalized structures inorder to prevent members from considering alternatives. The designation of ‘al i overwhelmingly negative and is used te describe groups that the state sems to be antisocial and dangoroas, ‘The Issue with the designation Is that these characteristics also describe the state. In ‘North Americ, law aginst hate speech se often only applied inorder to protect Tenders and there ae strong societal conven dons against criczing elected officals and capitalism inherently dissades the criticism of those above us on the hierarchy). Mimic transfer encoarages many of sto speak and actin similar way and thisisreinforeed by social osracisation amplified by octal media. Captaism prevents many of us from parssing activities that are geninely productive and fulfilling by penalizing us in the form of povertyand destroys alternative methods of wealth organtaatlon through the constraints of bureaucracy. we were 0 reference the dictionary definition of «cult inthe abstract, we would conclude thet ox contemporary society is one tse 1 speculate thatthe reason that we do not ‘dently our society asa cults because ts inthe best imeres ofthe state to undermine the legitimacy of groups that threaten the sovereignty of tate power Because groups tha ate designated as cults concentrate more Power in their own legtimacy than that of the state they challenge the sate assumed birthright to ts “subjects” IF decide not to participate inthe economy ofthe state and produce food within an independent society, then the tate wil ind it dificult to extract valu fom my labor, which san {nhecent problem fr an entity that recires the participation of it subjets o survive ‘These states wield powerslike property tax to prevent an arrangement ke this capital is required in perpetuity to keep land, “Then people cannot truly live independent. ly ofcaptlism, and mast therefore engage ‘with the sae. This demonstrates tha, ke ‘the cults to threaten them, the state cannot simply be abandoned as it wield the pun- {shment of al time fo those who threaten to subvert it ‘Thisis the logic behind the demonization of societal reel, those that choose to goof the grid or construct their own hierarchies t= fide ofthat which the stat supports. A any stadent ofthe social sciences i srely aware, ebm cis i terminology wields massive power when it Within my letime, Ihave never head an comes o assuming the moral postion ofa author figure refer oa subversive group group. Ifwe wereto refertoinslar,of-the- of acts, whether benign or benevolent 2s {rd groups a states, this would reinforce a commune. The word ielflends too mich the legitimacy of theirhierarchies and codes _powerto communes ast both conjures the ‘ofconduct. Instead, state actors encourage image of dlc rural living and the ed iron populations to refer to alternative groups as specter of communism Ic mplies that there cults in order to magnify their otherness and ea way to live without the state and that this herd us away rom them, Of court, there is way af fe doesnot have to be necessarily ‘reason why cults insofar as they recalled violent aor extreme, Conjaring this image so not describe themselves as such, but past ismever ina state’ beat interest, and 0 the ‘ofthis reason Is simply that "euls" dont word commune I, therefore a word of peo- find themeslves tobe threatening. ple and thei ontology ofthe imagination, ‘he word cut therefore, sa top-down ool Nowherehasthe powe difeenc inthe tsedto malntainthesaiek monopolyon use ofthese words been marecter tome Information and power ts erminologesl__ than athe fabrication of thse. Our ast anthesis of ou, “the commune! production meeting feted hal hout “heterm commane,inteodofbeingused re during which we debated the relative Uythepowerilte describe thesenlog——_deficlons of cut and commune for vious behavior ia erm tatisused by sateaker- group portrayed inthe media, Mos ofour tative gropsthenlvesto describe their definions had ver eo do with the ab Tehavor with postive connotations. The slute structure ofthe group but more to do word commanm iasebed to callctiea with our moral eins abut tel ations. Which saber captalism to varying degrees Inother words cals ba; anda commune Tylving together and sharing posessons i god. We were ding the work the sate andresponslies, Note that tisoore fort oxtraczng those that we sa morally fon, tis description could alo be wed to threatening an allowing groups that we describe these The diference between savas non-thtetening to float tentatively commune andasiste though, that com- (hough under our afl aurvellencs. nuns are generally an rachel, and the state(s we experience relies ona Thisleads me othe condkasion that we sic hierarchy to survive however both shold abandon the tem cule allow for the possibility of elected officials to Though many groups that are Identified fake on esponsbiliies, andi theory, equal guts may be ‘evi every ime we use pportnty provided for alllving within his designation we ate sly reinforcing ‘the community. the power of the state to use the same evils saint us Instead, we should embrace out atiiy to we many othe powers tha ts? oto fabricate out nn sites the chaac- testis ofa” ar ot univers bad per sand we woeld dowel to remember that PISS OFF STATE SHILL! Tn the end, ts okay four communes are ficult to leave if only because they ae so wonder, the avant garg manifesto you will live to see manmade horrors beyond your comprehension aye but live you will of my liver. And I scream 1 performance no one is around to hear, ‘ods have no sympathy but he Tight a ‘We'll try again tomorrow my loneliness is killing me fake britmey spears my loneliness is lines is killing me (and i) oneliness me (killing me ‘and i) li killing me loneliness is killing me (and i) my loneliness is killing me (killing m my loneliness is killing me (and i) my loneliness is because I am joshua bienstock what would it feel like to simp! ei'm i dream of waking where i don't even kx where i know what it feels like be where i work to enrich myself and my and where i fall where i nev where all that m: Decause { am, because i am. ng or what i'm doing or why ch morning knowing what it’s like to feel truly alive, ‘what it means to f& unfulfilled, en, and loved, munity, up again the next day. iam or what matters to n sis that iam, ly iy Underwater on the Red Planet excerpts from my first year of labor in Elon Musk's glorious colony penny evans Why wouldn't they dig it out with machines? On the earth, there are many machines for digging, large hoes, small holes. My shovel has drunk enough blood out of broken calluses that I have begun to think of it as part of myself. A _rafted-on limb, Machines are heavy, and they travel through space on long, weary journeys, and they must be assembled when they arrive. But [am strong and sinewy, and my shovel was compact when it was shipped, and I was compact too in the coffin-like bed, catheterized, not quite sleeping and not quite dreaming, ‘Abuman being isa tube, more or les, although a complex one. You can theorize it asa worm. Nutrients through the front, exerement out the end. I was still awake when they ran the tube down my nose, and I was awake totake it out, sszeging, limbs stif and shaking. But there is something vaguely beautiful about the closed system. The addition of a few external tubes, and the body runs without major issue. The muscles atrophy, sure. The mind degrades alittle. It has to fight to stay alive. ey warn you about the hal-dreams, but it doesn't matter. Because they take place in reality, or some form oft. \woke upon the ship in mine, and then another time on the moon. Both times I was the only one around, wandering empty hallways, trying to read signage I was somehow unable to parse, But when I woke up for real I knew it was real, Decause Ihad to get all the tubes removed, and I couldn't walk yet, not really And the facility was not empty. We had been removed from our coffins. There were a lot of us. ‘The numbers rise and fll, almost like along tide, ora river through feeezing and thawing. Every'26 months new people arrive. Like all of us, they have trembling limbs and atrophied muscles and they are shaken, alittle haunted, sometimes totally disturbed by their dreams from the journey. They take to the shovels and dig like the rest of us. Some of them Inevitably die. Killed in a landslide or operating the equipment, or sometimes, murder. Overdose, Plain old sickness. Callouses left infected for too long, 1 get one day off a month and I spend it at the worm farm. It's nota popular tourist destination, but itis free to visit, and open to all employees, technically. They live in bins of sol, Mars mixed with Barth, and they feed on waste and scraps from the ships and from the farming. You aren't allowed to touch them, and you often don’t even see many. ‘They only come up when the sol is being watered [always goto the worm farm. It smells like wet dirt, and something strange, tangy and organic. I walk the rows of bins and look for worms that have emerged from their hiding tunnels, fat pink and brown bodies travelling solemnly across the drt, Like me, none ofthese worms have any destination. Like me, all of these worms will die on Mars. Like me, their contributions tothe sol, and the future, are vita, but ultimately small Like me, they belong to someone, and their body is wholly sold into that service, and there will be no getting it back. ye paradox of Mars is that there is and is nota lot of space. They build with doubled-lined plexiglas where possible and you can see the endless sky, the distant horizon, the nothingness that surrounds the colony, But Isteep in a coffin ‘not much bigger than the one on the ship. And at night | press my back against the wall and push hard, trying 10 straighten my spine out. Trying to make it fee! like I am being held. Alot of people here just start fucking each other, sharing coffins, clinging on lik they are trying to climb into each other's bodies. I suppose I can understand the impulse. But I have no interest in that kind of escape. Tie in my coffin and dream the same thing nearly every night, except Mondays, when I take all my allotted sleeping pills for the week and go deep into nothingness. We brought along Mondays and debt and astrological signs and all that. But they don't have the same hold here. They lose their sheen and seem more obviously a facade. I dream that | am in Perseverance Valley, which Iam, but I dream its flooded with water. Instead of the encampments and the holes we work so hard todig, there is unbroken land, and a tide coming in. I wade into the tide until my head is ‘under water I wake up soaked in sweat. I count the hours, however many there ae, until the next Monday, when | will