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Table of Contents What is Language?................................................................... 3 Persuasion & Influence?............................................................ 4 Is it Ethical?............................................................................ 5 What is NLP?........................................................................... 6 The Fundamentals....................................................................7 Presuppositions .......................................................................8 Rapport.................................................................................. 9 Sensory Acuity.......................................................................10 Representational Systems....................................................... 11 Sensory Words.......................................................................12 States...................................................................................13 Anchoring..............................................................................14 Pacing & Leading ...................................................................15 Powerful Language ................................................................ 16 Voice Control......................................................................... 20 Stories..................................................................................21 What is a Metaphor?............................................................... 22 More About Metaphors............................................................ 23 Tips for Storytelling................................................................ 24 Tips for Using Hypnotic Language ............................................ 25 Criteria................................................................................. 26 Instant Replay (Decision Strategies)......................................... 27 Asking for Miracles................................................................. 28 Dealing with Objections...........................................................29 Stacking Benefits................................................................... 31 Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence...........................................32 Questions..............................................................................33 Bibliography.......................................................................... 34 Reading & Resources.............................................................. 35 Appendix A – Exercises........................................................... 36 Pacing & Leading ...................................................................37 More Information................................................................... 43 ...........................................................................................45 About the Author....................................................................46 Acknowledgements.................................................................46
©2004 Jamie Smart
What is Language?
Here’s a definition: “A systematic means of communicating ideas or feelings by the use of conventionalized signs, sounds, gestures, or marks having understood meanings.” – The Merriam Webster Dictionary Online The above definition is typical of the dictionary definitions of language, and makes a valiant attempt to encapsulate what language is for and what it does. Yet language has other functions and powers far beyond the relatively prosaic communication tool described above. Human beings perceive the world through their five senses (sight, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting), and record those sensings in maps or models of the world in their nervous systems. We do not experience the world directly, but rather through our sense and the maps and models we make of those sensings. Language is a meta-map; a map of our internal maps and models. Like our other internal maps and models, our linguistic map is subject to change. The language a person uses is a reflection of their maps and models of reality, and reveals aspects of those maps and models which the person themselves is not aware of. When their models change, their experience of reality changes. Language is a lever for changing those models, and thus changing a person’s reality. You can use language to change your (or someone else’s) reality.
©2004 Jamie Smart
Persuasion & Influence?
Persuasion and influence is the process of getting someone else to want to do, think or believe what you want them to. Whether you want someone to accept your ideas, your suggestion or your products / services, persuasion and influencing skills are the key. Persuasion & influence are not… • • • • Bullying Pressuring Tricking Deceiving
Persuasion & influence are • • • • Elegant Smooth Effective Often undetectable
Influences on this training This training draws on a number of different sources. The main source is Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), probably the most powerful communications technology in the world (see ‘What is NLP?’) Other sources include the following: • • • Ericksonian Hypnosis Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence Chris Tomasulo’s ‘Covert Communication’ Model
©2004 Jamie Smart
neither will they. don’t! While it is possible to get people to do things against their best interests. Believe in yourself It is an old adage that ‘people buy people’. pleasure and fulfilment in your life than you ever thought possible. If you don’t. For this reason. The thinker can think almost anything – the prover proves what the thinker thinks by filtering out information that doesn’t agree with it.saladltd. adventure. happier more fulfilling lives than pessimists. excitement. therefore. Einstein once said that the main question facing humanity was “Is the universe a friendly place?” We suggest that you decide to believe it is. Choose to believe that you can have more happiness. and the quickest way to get others to believe in you is to believe in yourself. very powerful. then either change your belief or change your product. giving you a happy and fulfilling life. There are many excellent resources available for developing your self-belief – we suggest you use them.co.Is it Ethical? The skills you will learn are neither ethical nor unethical – they are. money. Believe in the universe You can think of the mind as having two parts: a thinker and a prover. one thing is fairly certain: if you do not believe in it. It has been shown again and again that optimists live longer. We suggest. If in doubt.uk -5- ©2004 Jamie Smart . that you follow these principles when you use them… Best interests Ensure that you have your own best interests and the best interests of the person you are persuading at heart. and they’ll tell lots of other people not to either. we suggest that you choose beliefs that support and help you. however. If you know that what you want them to do is going to be good for them and make them happy / healthy / wealthy then go for it. services or physical products. Choose to be an optimist. This choice never disappoints! www. they won’t make the same mistake twice. So make sure that you believe in whatever you want others to believe in. Believe in your product / service / idea Whether you are persuading someone of the value of your ideas. fun.
Richard Bandler describes NLP as follows: “NLP is an attitude.saladltd. when they set out to model the work of geniuses in the field of human communication and change. NLP is a methodology based on the overall operational presupposition that all behaviour has a structure…and that structure can be modelled. In Whispering in the Wind (2001). Linguistic The verbal & non-verbal language symbols with which we code & transmit meaning. including the brain and the five senses.What is NLP? Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed starting in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder.) The way to know what will be useful and effective are the perceptual skills. The term NLP is used to describe both the approach to modelling that they used.) It has been used to model some of the best persuaders and influencers in the world. Programming The ability to structure our neurological and linguistic systems to achieve certain results.” Neuro The nervous system. www. and the powerful models of communication and change they created (and have continued to develop. to look at life as a rare and unprecedented opportunity to learn. Grinder & St. NLP has evolved as an innovative technology enabling the practitioner to organise information and perceptions in ways that allow them to achieve results that were once inconceivable.Clair describe it thus: “(NLP) is a modelling technology whose specific subject matter is the set of differences that make the difference between the performance of geniuses and that of average performers in the same field or activity” In the Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual (1999). learned.co.uk -6- ©2004 Jamie Smart . taught and changed (reprogrammed. characterised by the sense of curiousity and adventure and a desire to learn the skills to be able to find out what kinds of communication influences somebody and the kinds of things worth knowing.
and you tend to get what you focus on.The Fundamentals The fundamentals of influence from an NLP perspective are straightforward: 1. Know whether you’re getting what you want (Sensory Acuity) Once you know where you want to go. The human nervous system can be thought of as goal-seeking. Adjust what you’re doing accordingly (Behavioural Flexibility) “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again. Sensory acuity refers to the ability to notice the signs that you are moving in the right direction (or otherwise. expecting a different result. “Intelligence is the ability to have a fixed goal and be flexible about how you achieve it. 2.uk -7- ©2004 Jamie Smart . you need to be able to notice (using one or more senses) whether or not you are going there.saladltd.” You must start where the person you wish to influence is (the ‘Present State’.” When you notice that you are not getting what you want. Know what you want (Outcome / Direction) One of the key NLP questions is ‘What do you want?’.) Rapport is the process of getting the attention and trust of the unconscious mind.) 4. you need the flexibility to change what you are doing in order to get a different result.co.” www. 3. Well-formed outcomes are an important tool for ensuring that you get more of what you want in your life. Get the attention of the unconscious mind (Rapport) “The map is not the territory.
There is no failure. only feedback There is a solution to every problem The one with the most flexibility of thought and action is most likely to succeed You can have whatever you want (if you help enough other people to get what they want) There is enough of everything to go round People buy valued results • • • www.saladltd. but can be very useful for successful communication.uk -8- ©2004 Jamie Smart .Presuppositions The following list is a selection of presuppositions or assumptions which have proved useful for persuasion & influence. • • • • • • The map is not the territory People make the best choice available to them at the time The meaning of the communication is the response you get. They are not ‘true’.co.
co. If they make a similar movement within the next minute.) Matching and mirroring often develop spontaneously. The basic rapport test is “if you lead. and the rapport built up with techniques such as matching and mirroring can give the impression of a deep sense of connection and trust (the basis of the ‘we like people who are like us’ school of influence.’ It is more commonly understood as the sense of ease and connection that develops when you are interacting with someone you trust and feel comfortable with. Matching will develop rapport.uk -9- ©2004 Jamie Smart . they follow.) Try matching: • • • • Body posture Hand gestures Half body Head tilt • • • • Vocal qualities Key phrases Predicates Eyeblinks • • • • Facial expression Energy level Breathing Anything else… A simple test for rapport is to make some simple movement.” Challenge: Discover how many different ways you can develop rapport with people in your day to day life.saladltd. and are a good sign that you are in rapport with someone. then you’ve developed rapport and led their behaviour. you can build rapport by ‘cross-over mirroring’ (eg. and meet them at ‘their map of the world. NB – Choose low risk situations to experiment with at first. mismatching will reduce it. Matching their breathing rate with your speech rate.Rapport Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the attention of someone’s unconscious mind. www. When mirroring isn’t appropriate. Rapport can be established on many levels: • speaking the same • wearing similar clothing language • breathing at the same rate • supporting the same team • matching body language • having a common interest • matching voice tone Rapport is a starting point for successful communication and influence. like scratching your nose.
The processes taking place inside a person’s mind are reflected to a greater or lesser extent on the outside.uk .saladltd. Notice how quickly it’s possible for you to begin seeing and hearing more and more that was previously invisible. placing the tip of your tongue just behind your upper front teeth and letting your jaw drop slightly. Visual acuity is particularly important in the practice of hypnosis.co. rate.” Repeat as necessary.10 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . volume etc) Key phrases Sensory predicates Eye-blinks Pupil dilation Rapid eye movement Facial expression Facial symmetry / asymmetry • • • • • • • • • • • • Lower lip size Energy level Breathing rate Breathing patterns Skin colour Muscle tonus Pore dilation Sentence length Non-verbal utterances Involuntary movements Metaphors Anything else you can perceive! You can train your senses to perceive more and more of what is happening in the other person – distinctions that would previously have been ‘invisible’. You’ll see and hear more! If your internal dialogue interrupts your awareness.Sensory Acuity “Watch and listen!” This is one of the main ‘secrets’ to becoming highly skilled at NLP. www. Tip: Minimise your internal dialogue by breathing deeply. Challenge: Choose a different area of behaviour from the list above to pay attention to every day. relaxing your throat muscles. as it is one of the keys for ‘making guesses’ about how your suggestions are being received. in such phenomena as: • • • • • • • • • • • Body posture Hand gestures Head tilt Vocal qualities (tone. say “Shut the &*!% up!” inside your head.
organise. By paying attention to the things people are doing and saying. Feeling. As sensory input is internally processed (re-presented). Smelling and Tasting. and attach meaning to perceptual input are referred to as REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS.11 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .co. This may seem obvious. it is translated into corresponding sensory representations (or maps) that constitute a likeness or synthesis of the original perceptual input.."reality” and out perceptions of “reality” are not the same…The Map is not the Territory. it can build a sense of rapport.Representational Systems According to the Concise Oxford Dictionary to represent something is to call up in the mind by description.uk . Hearing. and which ones are out of consciousness..saladltd. portrayal or imagination. In the Neuro Hypnotic TM Repatterning Manual (2000). The sensory modalities by which people encode. yet very important to remember. Representational systems (rep systems) are the means by which human beings are able to do this.” When people are ‘thinking’. www. Richard Bandler and John La Valle offer the following description: “Human beings experience themselves and the world they live in through the primary modalities of the five senses…Seeing. they are using representational systems to do so. store. Clues to which representational systems are being used to process can be found by paying attention to: • • • • • • • Spoken language (see ‘Sensory Words’) Eye movements Hand gestures Breathing Head position Voice tone Voice pace If you tell people a story about yourself which closely matches their experience. These intuitions will give you additional choices as a communicator. it is possible to get intuitions about which representational systems are in consciousness at a given point in time.
essence. Contrast the sentence “I ate a steak yesterday” with the following: “At lunchtime yesterday.uk . Visual (see) Auditory (hear) Kinaesthetic (feel) Olfactory (smell) Gustatory (taste) See. do you hear what I’m saying I see what you mean. hang. Below are some examples of words that indicate a particular rep system – for an exhaustive list. heavy. hold. scent. light smell.saladltd. tasty. rotten. tell. handle. sharp. it will diminish the level of trust and rapport. I smacked my lips & let out a loud “Mmmmm”. look at it from my point of view It feels good to me. clear Feel. sound.” www. click. sweet Taste. light. sweet You will also notice people using turns of phrase that indicate certain preferences. When you tell stories. perspective. If you mismatch their rep systems. see Appendix C. light. look. get a handle on this I smell a rat Just give me a flavour of this When you use language from the same rep system(s) that the person you are communicating with is using. clear hear. savouring mouthful after delicious mouthful of smoky fillet. odour. stink. view. bland. you will begin to become more sensitised to the rep system they are most aware* of using to process at that moment. sour. I plunged my fork into a steak the size of an encyclopaedia & sawed off a juicy morsel of some of the tenderest. say. focus. talk. for instance: • • • • • That rings a bell.co. ring. bloodiest red meat I’ve eaten in ages. grip. As you become more aware of the ‘sensory specific’ words that people use.12 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . you can use sensory words & descriptions to get the person more ‘into’ what you are telling them. tangy. salty. As the sharp aroma of the green peppercorn sauce reached my nose. we just clicked.Sensory Words One of the easiest ways for you to get a sense of the rep system someone is favouring at a point in time is through their language. it creates more trust and rapport. tone.
The following words can be thought of as descriptions of certain states: • • • • • Love Happiness Confidence Sadness Joy • • • • • Creativity Flow Nervousness Amusement Affection • • • • • Fear Focus Comfort Relaxation Trance Each of these words describes a different experience for each person.States States are configurations of physiology and neurology.saladltd. volume) and many other external signals. go there first yourself. feel that pleasure yourself & it will come out in the story.uk . Eliciting States If you want someone else to access a great state (Eg. it too is usually ‘wrapped’ in a state. body and mind. www.co. Excitement). when a person finds a solution. Similarly. Your listeners will pick this up & respond to it.13 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . For this reason. Tone. or experiences the resource they need to provide that solution. you can anchor it (see ‘Anchoring’). These differences are also likely to be evident in voice analogues (eg. the ability to alter your own or someone else’s state is very useful. Problems & Solutions When people are experiencing a specific problem. When they do. If you are telling a story where a character was experiencing pleasure. External Signs There are usually external signals that accompany a particular state. there is typically a state associated with that problem. they are likely to look different to someone who is feeling down. When you imagine someone who is feeling ecstatic.
anchor it.saladltd.14 ©2004 Jamie Smart www.uk .Anchoring An anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. Some examples: • • • • • tonal (eg. Anchors can operate in any representation system. Setting anchors Anchoring is particularly useful for helping people to recreate certain states. The way people respond to certain items of clothing) olfactory (eg. the word ‘lion’ will immediately trigger images. The effect of a certain type of handshake) visual (eg. These words are anchors. the special way a certain person has of saying your name) tactile (eg. it is important to a) ensure that you have a powerful example of the state to work with b) anchor in as many rep systems as possible c) set the anchor just before the state peaks d) fire the anchor accurately. Precision counts! When doing hypnosis. For instance. The taste of your favourite food) Once again. bells and salivating dogs). The effect of smelling fresh lemons) gustatory (eg. sounds etc associated with the word lion. Challenge: Practice setting and firing anchors with the people you meet from day to day. It is conceptually similar to Pavlovian conditioning (ie. Choose a different rep system each day and notice how many naturally occurring anchors you can find. . your voice is a rich source of powerful anchors.co. an anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. In order to get a ‘strong’ anchor for the state. with the exception that it is often possible to set an anchor with a single trial. Tip: When you (or someone you are with) are experiencing something you want to have more of. The word ‘chocolate’ will trigger different associations.
lead Pace – pace – lead – lead Pace – lead – lead – lead Lead – lead – lead – lead… (+an occasional pace) Pacing and leading often sounds ‘clunky’ at first. For example… Every Friday at 7am. there is great value in meeting them at their ‘map of the world’ before you start the process of leading them somewhere new. this is a fairly ordinary intro. this process is referred to as ‘pacing and leading’. it is possible to move from saying mostly things which are ‘verifiably true’ to saying mostly things which are ‘made up’ without the listener(s) noticing the transition. so I know you’re going to be interested in helping me build mine etc… ” On the face of it. but as you look more closely at the way the statements are structured. and you may be wondering what I’m going to tell you about today… because we’ve all come here for a reason.saladltd. www. you may begin to notice that there is a mixture of things that are ‘true’ and things that are more ‘speculative’. and it’s early. and the reason is to build our businesses.co. making statements (for instance) about the current ‘reality’ for an individual or group before directing their attention somewhere else. you’ll begin to find yourself doing it spontaneously. I will often start my commercial with something like the following: “We’re here at BNI.uk . but as you practice it more and more. In NLP.Pacing & Leading Whenever you set out to influence someone. it’s Friday morning. without even planning it consciously.15 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . ‘True’ – Pacing ‘Speculative’ – Leading • We’re here • you may be wondering what • it’s Friday morning I’m going to tell you about today • it’s early • I know you’re going to be • we’ve come here for a reason interested in helping me build • the reason is to build our mine businesses When pacing and leading is done elegantly. I go to a business networking group (BNI) where I get the opportunity to do a 60 second ‘commercial’ for services that I offer. The overall shape / structure is as follows: Pace – pace – pace .
the unconscious has much more to do with it than they think. While people often believe they are in conscious control of the decisions they make.saladltd. Your ability to use language skilfully with intention will become one of the most powerful influencing ‘tools’ you possess. As soon as I realised the power of quotes. raised eyebrows.16 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Language is processed by your unconscious. When you put a command in quotes. The following language patterns are some examples of how ‘indirect hypnosis’ can be applied to gently persuade people in many different situations. “When I first decided to.co. then create a larger sentence that can contain it.” or “I think the time you’ve spent on this is a sign now that we can explore some exciting opportunities.Powerful Language Language is one of the most profound influences on the way human beings shape their reality.uk . but not by the conscious. tastes & smells in order to make sense of the words. Quotes Milton Erickson used to say “Use quotes to tell people what to do.” When you put something in quotes. learn to embed commands. sounds.” or “I remember last time you decided to give me a pay rise. it gets attributed to someone else. I said to myself “Start using quotes in everything you do. it gets processed by the unconscious. NB – make sure you have rapport before you use these patterns. You can even mark out different words in one or more sentences (Eg. feelings. shift in voice tone. I was really made up!” Analogue marking You can enhance embedded commands by marking them out with some other behaviour (Eg. a touch etc). bypassing the conscious mind.) www. It is possible to communicate directly with a person’s unconscious mind. I was excited by the prospect. they knew what they were talking about. they make pictures. make it into a command. I really hope my time off will give me a chance to look at the high rise apartment being built next door. you know. As people listen to words.” Embedded commands You can embed a command in a larger sentence – just think of what you want someone to do. (Eg. When Bandler & Grinder said “Learn to use quotes immediately”.
because we’ve got a lot more info to get through. (Eg. is it not. you can get immediate feedback on how interested they will be (see the first line of this paragraph. Use words such as as.”) Benefit headlining Would you like to know how you can get people to pay 75% more attention to what you say? Put a headline in front of it. use them to send someone somewhere useful. it becomes almost irresistible. “aren’t they” etc that people sometimes add to the end of sentences. And it’s useful to be able to make things tough to disagree with.saladltd. I’m sure you can think of lots of situations where tag questions could be useful. isn’t it. If you use a headline (just like a newspaper does) that contains a valuable benefit for the person you are influencing. can’t you. doesn’t it. because it’s nice to listen to someone who’s easy to listen to. because it allows you to create a smooth flow in your language while the other person becomes entranced with what you are saying. If you combine the tag question with a slow head nod and command tone down (see Voice Control). because that would be unfair. When someone adds a tag question. Negatives are not processed by the nervous system in the same way that they are linguistically (eg. and. it makes the sentence difficult to disagree with. If you frame it as a question.” or “I wouldn’t ask you to only focus on our strengths.co. doesn’t it. because we’ve hardly started to explore it.) So if you’re going to use them. while. because etc to create linkage between words & phrases. www. and you’ll create a smooth flow for the listener. and linkage is one of the most powerful. Hooray! Don’t start thinking about how useful this could be yet.17 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . The command “Don’t think of a purple hippopotamus” is difficult to obey.Powerful Language (continued…) Negation Negation allows you to say outrageously overt things without taking responsibility for them. Linkage There are a number of useful patterns to learn.) Tag questions ‘Tag questions’ are the name for the small phrases like “isn’t it”. they will be much more likely to listen to what follows. “Don’t start thinking about how much fun you’re going to have with this.uk .
” It is unclear whether the word clever applies to both the women & the men. • Syntactic – Because persuading persuaders can be tricky. Analogue marking You can mark out phrases in your communication. such as facial expressions. Presupposition One of things that you’ll begin to notice as you start to use become more aware of language is the power of presuppositions. Merely choose the covert communication you wish to mark out.saladltd. And learning ambiguities can be fun. There are four kinds of ambiguity in the English language: • Phonological – meaning two words that sound the same but mean different things. as well as allowing you to say things that can process in multiple ways. • Scope – Ambiguous words and phrases sometimes are part of a scope ambiguity where it is unclear which parts of a sentence an adjective applies to. you probably can begin to see how this could be used. One of the things you’ll really start to become aware of as you continue to practice these more and more is just how much fun you can have with them! www.uk . think of what you want your influencee to accept as fact. The unconscious will process the marked out element of what you are saying as a separate communication. and using ambiguity can induce mild confusion. a gesture etc. voice tone change. then do it! By now. A presupposition is something that must be accepted as true for the sentence to make sense. Eg. or just the women. • Punctuation – Where two phrases are combined to make a run-on sentence can be strange to hear at first.co. outside conscious awareness. To use presuppositions. eyebrow movements. then construct a sentence that presupposes it.18 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .Powerful Language (continued…) Ambiguity English is a very ambiguous language. using any perceivable behaviour. And influencing skills can be enjoyable. You can stack presuppositions to make them even more difficult to resist. As eye right this ewe can sea watt eye mean. “I spoke to the clever women and men.
but with others. www. Back before you started this training. Time You can use language to shift people’s awareness through time. as you consider just how much you’ve learned. as though it was asked directly.uk . but generate ‘yes’ responses. they have more questions to ask. you may start to become curious about the many ways that you can. in the future.Powerful Language (continued…) Embedded questions An embedded question is merely a question embedded in a larger structure. start to become more comfortable using language in this way. Tip: Get a ringbinder with a section for each of these patterns then practice writing out examples pertinent to your influence goals. you can look back to the present and realise just how far you’ve come. if I want to know if someone is ready to close. having really learned how to use these patterns skilfully. you may not have believed that was so. I watch for unconscious responses (eg. head nod) – then I know whether they’re ready or not. When you imagine yourself six months from now. but now. You will be amazed at how powerful this will be.” When I say the ‘Are you ready to do a deal’ bit. they will respond unconsciously to a question embedded in a larger structure. I might say “With some people I’ll just get a feeling that I can ask ‘Are you ready to do a deal’.co.saladltd. Rhetorical questions Do you like to feel good? Rhetorical questions are questions that don’t require an answer. Use them to get people saying yes from the outset. For example. If you are in rapport with someone.19 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .
Your ability to speak with flexibility and control can have dramatic results. You can practice learning to control & vary… • • • • • • • Tone Pitch Rate Rhythm Volume Timbre and many other voice ‘analogues’ As you start to listen more closely to other people speak.uk . there are some other key features which are also good to know: Command tone down The pitch & tone of voice you use toward the end of a sentence determines at a deep unconscious level what ‘kind’ of sentence it is: • • • Rising pitch gets processed as a question.20 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Descending pitch gets processed as a command. Level pitch gets processed as a statement.Voice Control Your voice is probably your most powerful tool as a persuader. While matching their voice analogues can be powerful for building rapport. Which do you think is most useful to use when making suggestions to the people you wish to influence? www. you will begin to recognise the differences in the ways other people speak.co.saladltd.
Events that have happened to you or your friends. www. but my partner said to me “Everything in your life is a story.saladltd. films you’ve seen. they tend to let down their conscious shields when you start telling a story. You can use stories to… • Pace people’s experience • Put people at their ease • Amplify a potential risk of not making a certain decision. it just depends how you look at it. decisiveness) • Act as camouflage for nifty language (Eg. I thought “I don’t know any stories”. stories you’ve heard: all of these count.” I started to make a list of all the experiences I’d had that could be told as a story. Tip: Start making a list of the stories you already know. • Captivate their attention • Change the meaning of something (Eg.Stories Stories and metaphors are some of the most powerful tools for influence and persuasion.21 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . I was reading a book about using NLP in the workplace. you just never thought about them that way before. Better yet.uk . embedded commands) • Get people to drop their guard • Get them to imagine themselves enjoying your proposition • Etc etc etc I remember when I first started studying NLP. There were hundreds of them. they look to their own experience to make sense of it.” I started to think about it. it’s just a matter of noticing them. then I said to myself “You know lots of stories. When you tell someone a story. an objection) • Tell them how / what to think about something • Get them to access certain resources (eg.co. and it mentioned metaphor and storytelling. Now I use them all the time! Stories are like gestures or eye movements – they’re there all the time. a story about someone else who had that problem or need and had it solved will be very powerful – use this fact to streamline your persuasion. When someone has a certain problem or need.
22 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .uk . the word metaphor will be used to refer to all of the following: • • • • • • • Metaphors Similes Stories Anecdotes Tall tales Factual explanations Jokes Stories are one of the most powerful resources there is. a problem) Tell them how to think about something Induce trance in your audience Install strategies Do covert rehearsal Disassociate people Change beliefs Do covert changework & healing And generally act as great camouflage www. ‘to carry’. so that the second object is spoken of as if it were the first.” For the purposes of this training. Terence Hawkes defined metaphor thus: “The word metaphor comes from the Greek word metaphora derived from meta meaning ‘over’.co. You can use stories to… • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Put people at their ease.saladltd. decisiveness) Induce age regression (take them back to childhood) Captivate their attention Speak to the unconscious mind Illustrate a point Grab your audience’s attention Get people to take off their armour & overturn objections Reframe / change the meaning of something (eg.What is a Metaphor? A metaphor can be described as something which stands for something else. It refers to a particular set of linguistic processes whereby aspects of one object are ‘carried over’ or transferred to another object. In Metaphor (1972). and pherein. build rapport & pace their experience Elicit states & gather resources (eg.
More About Metaphors The human mind can be modelled as having both a conscious & an unconscious aspect. & given to creative leaps.23 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . your unconscious is intuitive. Milton Erickson (the famous hypnotherapist) would tell stories which his clients would then apply (unconsciously) to the problems & challenges they faced in their lives. associative.co. They do this by inviting us to map across certain qualities of the metaphor (Y) to some other situation (X). is unconscious explains why metaphors can be so powerful. For instance. people watching a film will often identify with one of the characters. they do what influence expert Chris Tomasulo calls a ‘me too’ . For example: My love (X) is like a red red rose (Y). This invites us to focus on certain qualities.) The fact that the search for references. www. While the conscious mind is logical. He knew that when you tell someone a story. The unconscious mind is always involved. while ignoring other aspects: Qualities Brought Into Focus Beauty Fragrance Thorniness Alive Transiency Qualities Ignored Chemical reactions Pupil dilation Heartache etc • • • • • • • • While in this case. putting themselves into the protagonists shoes. the ‘meaning-making’ function.they unconsciously search through their own experience to find a personal reference for what you’re saying (this is one of the reasons why people often respond to a story by telling a similar one of their own. a clear and obvious comparison has been made. Metaphors take advantage of the associative ability of the unconscious to communicate a lot of information quickly (& sometimes covertly).uk . analytical & sequential.saladltd. it has been noticed that people do this ‘mapping across’ whether a comparison is invited or not.
d) Pay attention as you speak & notice the response you’re getting. f) Use rich. mystery. b) Stories from your personal experience generally have more impact than borrowed ones. e) Have a beginning. l) Use your body & voice expressively to intensify the emotions in your story.Tips for Storytelling Here are a few tips to help you enrich your storytelling: a) Make a list of stories & practice telling them to people. sensory language to activate all five senses. k) Build movement & drama using suspense.24 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . middle & end.uk . g) Write out stories to tune them & ‘wire them in’. i) Use symbols to activate deep cultural meanings. change ‘direction’. j) Choose stories that will be relevant / interesting to your audience. h) Use detail to engage people & make them enter fully into your ‘reality’.co. shock or surprise. If you don’t like the response.saladltd. www. c) Have a communication goal in mind for the person/people you are telling the story to.
Establish & maintain rapport. so go there first yourself.g. a touch. relax easily. 3. 6. Write out examples of language patterns to wire them into your neurology at a deep level. ‘Analogue mark' key phrases (E. with a gesture.co.uk . End your suggestions with a descending voice tone for increased authority.Tips for Using Hypnotic Language 1. Then you can become curious about just how quickly your unconscious will begin to surprise you by allowing these patterns to emerge in your language spontaneously! 5. so your unconscious can take care of it. Then allow your unconscious to help reflect this in your suggestions. 7. www. 9. 2. lowered voice tone. Start speaking even if you don't know what you're going to say to complete it your sentence. for the person to access their resources. 4. People respond to emotions. so use games to increase your learning speed.saladltd. a raised eyebrow etc) to send commands to a person’s unconscious mind. Play makes learning fast and fun. be successful etc).g. Word selection is an unconscious function. Use sensory-rich language. 8. learn quickly. Set a goal for your communication (E.25 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .
then those specific words are anchors for their criteria in that context. Many people will tell a related story about themselves that reveals their criteria. how do you elicit peoples’ criteria? The first way is just to listen. and you are likely to get different criteria. adventure). When you want to let the person know how what you’re offering or suggesting gives them benefit. A person’s criteria in an influence situation are their ‘hot buttons’ within that context. security. At a high level. freedom. right next to the airport. you can unpack them by asking someone “How do you know when you’ve got [criteria]?” They’ll give you information about their process or equation that allows them to know they’ve got that criteria.uk .saladltd. we refer to these as values (eg. doing a good job. These are referred to as criteria. The third way is to use specific questions to elicit someone’s criteria in a context.Criteria Every person has things which are important to them. because the context is different. Let them know how what you’re offering satisfies their criteria. money.”) The second way is to tell stories that refer to your criteria in the context. So. Criteria are context-dependent. USE THEIR EXACT CRITERIA WORDS & PHRASES (in a subtle way) to let them know you understand.) Ask the same person what is important to them when choosing somewhere to live. but people also have ‘values’ within a given context. If they go ‘inside’.co. If a person is buying insurance.26 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . and you’ll hear them jump out (“We went to Greece last year & the place we stayed was so CONVENIENT. What has to happen for you to get that? I need to know that I can make my own decisions. portability and reliability” are what’s most important to them. helping people. such as: • • “What’s important to you about [context]?” “What do you look for in a [context]?” Once you have someone’s criteria. Ask a person “What is important to you in your work?” and they will tell you what their criteria are for their work (Eg. ask “What has to happen for you to get that?” For example… Q: A: Q: A: How do you know when you’ve got freedom?” I just get a great feeling inside. www. and says “flexibility.
To find what someone’s decision strategy is in a given context. just ask how they did it last time… “I’d like you to think of one of the times you made this sort of decision and.uk . Want to know how you can find out how to persuade someone to make a decision in your favour? First. NB: It is important to elicit the strategy they used for something they are happy with. you know it was a good decision.co. Things to pay attention to include: • • • • • Sensory language Criteria Number & content of the steps Gestures Eye movements Once you know what the strategy is. and most people make important decisions in the same way every time. you can structure your persuasion process in the same way. The process a person uses for making a decision is their ‘decision strategy’. [wait for confirmation] How did you decide that?” At this point WATCH & LISTEN as they run you through their decision strategy. find out how they make that sort of decision.Instant Replay (Decision Strategies) Human beings are very patterned. then structure your communication accordingly. www. every time you think of it.27 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .saladltd.
Asking for Miracles One of my favourite ways of persuading someone when there is limited time is to get in rapport & then ask the following question: “What would have to have happened by the end of this session for you to say ‘Jamie. He briefly accessed a certain state then said “I’d have to get something I could use to remain calm in difficult situations. the person has to imagine getting to the end of the session & being delighted (which is just where I want them) then gives me some criteria for getting there. then close the deal! www.28 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . I once used this approach with the VP for Sales of a blue-chip company.saladltd. and managed to get an hour with him.co.uk . where the session is (to some extent) an opportunity for them to demonstrate the services they are offering. I had never met him before. I want you to come & work with me & my team?’” In order to answer the question. I asked him the above question.” He had already shown me how he accessed that state. This approach can be particularly useful for people offering professional services. so it was fairly straightforward for me to get him back into it. anchor it. then I watched & listened.
no-one wants to associate themselves with the whiny voice. & can give you information about their needs. www. then either… • Deal with it in advance using the OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURES detailed below. for instance). or… • after they arise Dealing with objections before they arise The great advantage of dealing with objections before they arise is… they never arise! Here’s how you do it: • Predict the objection or objections that your influencee is most likely to have. then defuse them with a whiny voice.co. You can deal with objections… • before they arise. NB – This is one place where bad tonality is really important – this method of inoculating against objections relies on it.uk . and you have a choice about when to deal with them.Dealing with Objections The idea of objections is a natural part of the persuasion process. “Some people say ‘oooohhhh that’s so much money’ but I know that you appreciate the value that you’re going to get from this. Challenge: Identify the main objections you get and practice stating them in a whiny / bad tonality voice.saladltd.” TM It’s as simple as that. Allow yourself to start to identify in advance the objections your influence subject is likely to have. Then build your intuition by guessing what objections you will get from an individual and use this approach to inoculate against them. eg. Now. or… • State the objection in an unpleasant tonality (whining. They tell you about what your influence subject is thinking. Unconsciously. so they disassociate themselves from their objection. and some of them say (hear this in a really unpleasant tone) – “I can’t imagine myself using that silly tone of voice when I talk to my customers” but I know that you can already appreciate just how powerful this is going to be for you. I’ve taught this method to a number of people.29 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .
It’s much easier to influence someone when they are in a safe space! • Reframing – When you reframe someone’s objection. here’s a meta-pattern you can use to deal with it: 1) Check that you’re in rapport.30 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . what benefits would you get from coming on this course?” This gives them a safe space to imagine coming on it and feel good.” The response: “Even worse. If not. www. they’ll tell you what it really is. If you are.Dealing with objections after they arise If an objection does arise. People will sometimes express interest in one of my courses. what if you don’t train your people and they stay. Gather the information you need to help them solve their problem. Find the positive intent behind the objection. re-establish rapport through matching & mirroring. Tell them a story about someone else who had that objection & overcame it. I once heard the objection “I’m worried – What if I train my people and then they leave. • Metaphor – A metaphor can be a powerful way to overturn an objection. Metaphor can be a powerful reframing tool. Choose the one of the countermeasures and apply it.co. Pace the objection (Eg. can we go ahead with the deal?”) If price isn’t the real objection. Also. establish whether or not it’s the real objection (Eg. great.” Find a way to change the meaning of someone’s objection. “If we can resolve this cost issue. Apply OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURESTM.saladltd. you change it’s meaning.uk . 2) 3) 4) OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURESTM Here are some of the most powerful countermeasures to use once you have identified a genuine objection: • Safe Space – Get them to imagine a future where the objection doesn’t apply.” I’ll say “If money were no object. then say “I can’t afford it. giving their reasons. if someone says “it’s too expensive” you can say “I understand you think it’s too expensive”) Find the intent & gather information.
Alongside ‘hidden fears’. wants & desires & find a way that what you are offering can satisfy them. but they’re there.Stacking Benefits People buy benefits. If you get a rejection from someone after establishing credibility. www. then communicate it to them.co. it is either because you haven’t stacked up the benefits. In addition to the benefits a person states. it is a matter of stacking up the benefits (highly valued ‘pluses’ they get as a result of going your way) and antibenefits (‘minuses’ they risk as a result of not going your way) so that they decide to go with your suggestion. they are very powerful in influencing someone’s decisions. but benefits & anti-benefits provide the motivation. People Like (hidden wants / needs) • The familiar / predictable • Winning • Feeling clever or superior • Being seen to make a smart move People Don’t Like (hidden fears) • The unknown • Losing out • Feeling stupid • Being seen to make a mistake • Cost Objections can often result from people’s hidden needs & fears – they won’t mention them.31 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Ideally.saladltd. there are also what Chris Tomasulo refers to as ‘hidden wants & needs’. You can find ways to alleviate people’s unspoken fears & needs. When you are setting out to persuade or influence someone. Simple enough. or because you haven’t addressed the hidden needs & fears. It is your job as a persuader to identify the person’s problems.uk . address them before they ever get a chance to cause you problems. Many of the tools and techniques in this training will help you to smooth the passage. needs.
they will want it more. then start to capitalise on them. establish yourself as an expert. admit a weakness or limitation first – this also builds credibility. Always find ways to show your influencee how other people have benefited. find something you like about them. Find ways to build your credibility. When they say thanks. www.uk . If they think there is a limited amount of something. & you will build trust. When presenting your case. It feels good to be with someone who likes you! • Scarcity – People can be motivated by scarcity. Also. When you demonstrate consistency. • Consistency – People like what’s familiar.saladltd. If you have something of value you can legitimately give to your influence subject.32 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . hence the power of testimonials. tell people about it & reap the rewards (while supplies last. and focus on it. Find elements of likeness with another person. This is heightened if there is competition for the scarce resource. If there are legitimate scarcities in your influence domain. they feel a sense of debt towards us. • Social Proof – Many people tend to do what others are doing. then do so. as follows: • Reciprocity – When we do something for someone else. let people know about your qualifications. Challenge: Identify where these six principles are already available to you within your existing persuasion contexts. say “You’d do the same for me” to harness the reciprocity in the situation. Find a way to get someone to ‘go on record’ about something. You can also use the fact that people don’t like to appear ‘flaky’.) • Authority / Credibility – People will respond more favourably to your message when you have credibility or authority. people respond. and they will be more likely to stick to it in future.co.Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence In Robert Cialdini’s excellent book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion he identifies six principles of influence that operate on human beings at a level below conscious awareness. • Liking / Likeness – We like people who are like us – this is part of the power of rapport.
what would it be? • What problems do you find with doing it this way? • How are your expectations not yet being met? Establishing Needs.saladltd. Wants. listen & strategise based on the patterns they are showing you. As usual.Questions Questions are extremely powerful.uk . and…’ or ‘That’s interesting…’.33 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .) twelve months if you do nothing? • What are you least happy with about your current (eg.co. how would you know? Amplifying awareness of problems • What will things be like in (eg. feel & hear? • If you woke up tomorrow & everything was just as you’d like it to be. and guide people’s awareness in certain directions. not Paxmanesque. Here are some powerful questions: Understanding the current situation • What are the major issues you are facing at the moment? • If you could change anything about your current service. rapport counts – have the questioning be gentle. The more questions you ask. Desires • What do you want? • How will you know you’ve got it? What will you see. You can ease into the questions with softeners like ‘I understand.) supplier? Amplifying possibility • What would have to happen for this to massively exceed your expectations? www. the more opportunities you get to watch.
Routledge. John Grinder & Carmen Bostic St. 1989 Neuro Hypnotic RepatterningTM Manual. 2001 Whispering In The Wind.34 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . McKenna Breen. Clair. Richard Bandler.co. Terence Hawkes. Society of NLP. 2001 Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual. J & C Enterprises.Bibliography Metaphor. Richard Bandler and John La Valle.uk . 1999 www.saladltd.
covertcommunication. Smart: The fastest way there is to build your persuasion & influence language skills.emofree.saladltd.uk • Frogs Into Princes. www.co. Available at www. Great for clearing ‘sales call reluctance’.Reading & Resources Persuasion & Influence (order the books at www.uk . available at www. Bandler & La Valle: NLP and sales – from two masters in the field.35 ©2004 Jamie Smart • www. this is a transcript of a number of seminars given by Bandler and Grinder. incorporating NLP.saladltd.uk) • Irresistible Influence Cards. Influence: The Science of Persuasion. Hypnosis.com – Chris Tomasulo’s persuasion newsletter.co. www. Unlimited Selling Power. Ericksonian Hypnosis Cards. and is packed with stories.saladltd.co. Robert Cialdini: Cialdini’s seminal work on influence & persuasion.uk. Available at www. Bandler & Grinder: The first ‘popular’ NLP book. available at www. Ethical Influence with NLP.saladltd. pattern by pattern. Moine & Lloyd: The patterns of Ericksonian hypnosis applied. . Cialdini and others in the field. Smart: The fastest way there is to build your hypnotic language skills.com – Gary Craig’s website with the free Emotional Freedom Therapy manual you can download.saladltd. Smart: A 6CD set introducing NLP and covering the core skills in the NLP skillset.uk • • • • • • • NLP • NLP for Business & Personal Success. NLP Comprehensive: A bumper crop of ‘personal development’ NLP techniques and some background about the field. Smart: An 8CD set focusing on persuasion and influence. to sales.saladltd. NLP: The New Technology of Achievement.co.uk. Persuasion Engineering.co.co.
Appendix A – Exercises www.uk .co.36 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .saladltd.
B & C take turns describing what must be in A’s experience. Now use the skills you’ve learned to guide A into a trance. A thinks of a situation in which they become deeply involved with a limited focus of attention. B & C. while. Repeat exercise 4. match your speaking pace to the pace of person A’s breathing. start violating the principles of trance (voice speed. Other trance inductions you can investigate • Re-accessing a previous trance state • Overlapping representational systems • Naturally occurring trance states • Non-verbal inductions • Leverage induction • Pattern interrupts • Overload • Personal power • Stacking realities Adapted from Trance-formations by Bandler & Grinder. When person A is as deeply into the experience as before. 1981 This version ©2002Jamie Smart. making 3 verifiable statements followed by 1 nonverifiable statement (use transition words like as. and. 1. and names it (one word). transitions etc. enjoyment and feeling good. cycling through the three main representation systems (VAK) as you do so.) Follow this by 3 verifiable & 2 non-verifiable. then give them positive suggestions for learning. 5. 2. then describe their present experience. Ask A to close their eyes. Repeat exercise 1.co.uk . smooth pacing.saladltd.Pacing & Leading 1.) Describe A’s present experience. After B & C have had several rounds. 2 verifiable & 3 non-verifiable etc. because). using 4 sensory-based descriptions (verifiable) followed by 1 internal description (non-verifiable. 3. All Rights Reserved www. 4.37 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . start including descriptions of the experience from exercise 1. but B & C limit their descriptions to what must be there in sensory experience.
Contrast this with the following: “At lunchtime yesterday. lay in a hot bath yesterday evening. using the language of all five senses.38 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .Representation Systems Exercises 1) Read the following sentence & notice what effect it has: “I ate a steak yesterday” The sentence is fairly unspecified &.uk . I plunged my fork into a steak the size of an encyclopaedia & sawed off a juicy morsel of some of the tenderest. watched a great film the other day. I I I I I I walked through the park this morning. had a delicious desert last night. bloodiest red meat I’ve eaten in ages. may have had little or no impact on you. As the sharp aroma of the green peppercorn sauce reached my nose.saladltd.co. sat in the garden yesterday. savouring mouthful after delicious mouthful of smoky fillet. 2) • • • • • • Write out the following sentences. saw a very attractive person this afternoon. a staunch vegetarian or very very hungry. unless you are a Hindu. www. I smacked my lips & let out a loud “Mmmmm”.
Reframing Content Reframe (in groups of 3. B delivers the reframe. Context Reframe (in groups of 3.” B generates a reframe of the complaint by asking themselves “What else could this (Y) mean?”.saladltd. www. 2. taking the form “I’m too X.39 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . B asks A to repeat the complaint. 4.uk . 2. 5. A states a complaint. A states a complaint or issue. 5.co.” B generates a reframe of the complaint by asking themselves “In what contexts would the characteristic they’re complaining about have value?” B thinks of several alternative ways to deliver the reframe & chooses one. choose A. B & C observe A’s responses. B & C) 1. 3. B & C observe A’s responses. “What else could this (X) mean?” or “What else could this situation mean?” B thinks of several alternative ways to deliver the reframe & chooses one. B & C) 1. 4. B delivers the reframe.” or “He’s too Y. taking the form “I feel X when Y happens. B asks A to repeat the complaint. 3. choose A.
setting an additional goal for rapid learning etc. Use all your hypnotic language skills to deliver suggestions to B. Repeat exercise 1. ‘act as if’ you are the different characters or states as you access them. finish the first story. anchor the state or states elicited. 3 Repeat exercise 2. When the second story is complete. Repeat exercise 3. www. ie. Repeat exercise 4. Be sure to include: • • • Extremes of volume Different tonalities Different facial expressions Again. mimicry.uk . A anchors it. When B goes into the state. expression. interrupting the story part way through to tell a second story. using tonality.co. etc. A & B 1. with A using characterisation. Again. 2. gestures. Again.saladltd. Again. with A being highly expressive. anchor the state or states elicited. anchor the state or states elicited. 4. 5. A tells B a story with the intention of a) holding their attention & b) eliciting a certain state. Clowning is permitted. anchor the state or states elicited.Expressive Storytelling Exercises Done in pairs.40 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .
Daily Coaching Tip Number 249 .even the best and most effective listeners switched off their antennae as soon as they began to speak. and a staggeringly low 7% of the time to the actual words being used! Now. Today's experiment is surprisingly difficult for most people when they first try it. It came as no surprise to me when I first came across the oft-quoted research of Professor Alfred Mehrabian. Mehrabian set up studies in incongruent communication . but you would effectively be "firing blind" when it came to your own attempts.. A particular variation of listening that I developed for myself was what I call "wholebody" listening . we should be able to usefully continue listening to someone even when they stop speaking. www. When you are comfortable doing that. Yet as I studied listening more carefully. I adapt my communication accordingly.July 1. the danger with only listening when the other person is talking is that any purposeful conversation is a kind of an ongoing feedback loop – I say something to you.. I was quick to realize that I'd also been given two nostrils and one rear-end. (a preference which will come as no surprise to regular readers of these tips). Keep your attention on the object you are describing as you are describing it. Today's Experiment: 1.i.saladltd. it occurred to me that if over 50% of listening is picking up on pure body language and energy. though I must admit that I couldn't for the life of me figure out the implications of that one! :-) Fortunately. I did come to recognize the benefits of listening in building and healing relationships of every kind. and a different message with their words (for example.41 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . 38% of the time to the message being conveyed through tonality. Imagine you're flying a sophisticated fighter plane in the midst of a midair dogfight..co. as I matured. I began to notice a curious phenomenon . you might well be able to avoid the worst of the incoming barrage. but with a bit of practice it will utterly transform your communication (and your relationships!) for the better. 2001 If you enjoy this tip. If I stop listening to you the moment I open my mouth. proceed to step two. no doubt. Similarly.") Unsurprisingly to anyone who's ever attempted to ask directions in a foreign country or talked utter nonsense to a baby or small child. communication in which a person was giving off "mixed messages". (or what my fellow Southern Californians call "vibe" :-). Partly. The very same people who could empathize so wonderfully with a disgruntled employee or pick up on the limiting assumptions in a client's litany of woes were utterly unable to notice when they were boring their conversation partners rigid at a dinner party.uk . "You're a horrible person. If the plane's radar only registered whenever the enemy plane was firing. and based on your reaction. motivated by my love of talking. Experimenters would attempt to convey one message with their body and/or tonality (for example "I love you"). I lose the feedback and can no longer effectively "aim" my communication.e. please forward it on! I remember being told as a child that: "You were given two ears and one mouth so that you could listen twice as much as you talk". Choose any item in your immediate environment and begin to describe it aloud. test subjects responded 55% of the time to the message being conveyed through body language.listening with my eyes and heart as well as my ears.
co. please send a blank e-mail with the word 'unsubscribe' in the subject line to: unsubscribe@dailycoachingtip. "Thinking Aloud" Not all talking is for the purpose of communication. The Coach PS . set the intention of keeping your attention on the other person both when you are listening and when you are talking. switch back and forth between describing the object aloud and telling a story about it." You're ready to move on to step three when you can switch between description and story without having to re-direct your attention inwards to figure out what to say next. be they in a role as coach. When you are engaged in the conversation.uk . Click on the link or visit our website at http://www. Bonus Tip . you are ready to bring this skill to bear in your more important conversations and exchanges. you may want to consider attending our teleclass on "Creating Conversational Change". you will practice the hidden art of "listening while talking".com. ex. trainer.If you enjoyed this week's tip. If you wish to unsubscribe from the Daily Coaching Tip of the Week.. "This ring is gold with little knobbly bits on it and it was made by a jeweler named John Scott in Camden Lock and it's round and it has some dimpled impressions in the gold and my wife has an identical ring with diamonds in the dimples that I got her for our first anniversary and it has a bit of dirt which has collected between the knobbly bits.2. 4. When you can keep your attention firmly on the other person and still make intelligent conversation. salesperson. and keep listening! Until tomorrow. Have fun.42 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . gently bring your attention back to the other person. please send a blank e-mail with the word "subscribe" in the subject line to: subscribe@dailycoachingtip. If you notice your attention wandering or you become aware that you've "gone inside" your head. we speak purely in order to hear ourselves think.com/ to find out more! How to Subscribe If you wish to receive the Daily Coaching Tip of the Week every Monday morning. don't try this for the first time while attempting to close that million dollar sale or when trying to convince your partner that you really do love them)! Decide that for the duration of this conversation. Sometimes. it is best to let your attention wander where it will. or friend. In these instances. Choose a conversation to practice with where it would be OK if you were not particularly effluent. still keeping your attention at all times on the object you are describing.saladltd. 3. 2001 Michael Neill All Rights Reserved www. learn heaps.Communicating vs. etc.e.com ©2000.dailycoachingtip. (i. Now. partner..
• • • BUY NOW to receive this AMAZING OFFER: 1.saladltd.00 CD Bundle : £107. and use it to attract more of what you want into your life.saladltd.co. The Top 10 Secrets of Ethically Outrageous Influence & Persuasion for the Salesman.uk . FREE BONUS of 4 E-Books . & stop them being used against you! Turn hesitation into motivation and take decisive action.co.43 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . rather than against you Captivate people’s attention and lead them into an ideal persuasion state Use the secrets of subliminal persuasion ethically. The Top 25 Influence Tips.uk or ring 0845 650 1045 to place your order right away www. Now is your opportunity to harness its power for yourself. Before Your Competition Do” Ethical Influence with NLP You may have heard that NLP is particularly powerful in the areas of communication and influence.Ethical Influence with NLP Manual. Ethical Influence with NLP Audio (CD or Download) 2. You may be aware of some of the astonishing results that NLP can deliver.00 Click Here to Order Now Click Here to Order Now (VAT & Shipping charges added where appropriate) Get it RISK-FREE with the salad guarantee! You can get yours now at www. Irresistible Influence Cards 3.More Information salad the influence collection “Discover How You Can Become Irresistibly Influential. By the time you finish listening to the recording of this three-day intensive workshop with Jamie Smart. you will be able to: • • • • Build rapport in moments. Price: Download Bundle : £77. then lead people where you want to take them Get people to tell you exactly what you need to do to persuade them Use hypnotic influencing skills to press their "buy this now" buttons Get the 6 principles of influence to work for you.
co. you will: • • • • • Learn the patterns of persuasion. Close more deals. Fun Way You Can MASSIVELY Increase Your Influence Power” Irresistible Influence Cards are geared towards winning business.saladltd. and bringing people around to your way of thinking. and persuade more people. needs and desires and then using language in the most influential way to get them to buy your ideas. he is taking the most powerful patterns he's found and is choosing 52 of them for the Irresistible Influence CardsTM.95 Click Here To Order Now Get it RISK-FREE with the salad guarantee! You can get yours now at www.co. these cards will help you greatly to do it!!! Wouldn't it be nice if there was a fun. Have a blast learning to be irresistibly influential “Put simply: if you want to become really good with language. By using these cards. enjoyable way of mastering language patterns? Now there is.Master Trainer of NLP Price: Irresistible Influence Cards (VAT & Shipping charges added where appropriate) £19.saladltd. Get people to want to do what you want them to do. products or services. Jamie has been using the patterns of persuasion and influence for years to get great results.uk . Become a far more influential communicator. make more sales.salad the influence collection “The Fast. with Salad. They are focused on discovering people's wants. Now.44 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .uk or ring 0845 650 1045 to place your order right away www.” Owen Fitzpatrick .
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Jamie is author of The NLP Tip. This fascination led him to NLP. as well as the principal trainer. When he isn’t helping other people get what they want. Jamie is an NLP Master Practitioner and is licensed by Richard Bandler and the Society of NLP as a Trainer of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP). as well as the creator of Ericksonian Hypnosis CardsTM and many other products.About the Author Jamie Smart is the Managing Director of Salad Seminars Ltd.co. and he has spent from 1996 to the present day learning from the finest teachers and materials. listening to music and reading. Acknowledgements I’ve been fortunate to learn from a number of great NLP Trainers and other innovative thinkers and teachers.saladltd.46 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . he likes going for long walks in the woods.uk .uk). and became fascinated with helping people achieve the results they want. and applying what he’s learned.saladltd. Specific thanks to… • • • • • • • • • Richard Bandler John Grinder Joseph Riggio Eric Robbie Jo Cooper Peter Seal Timothy Leary Marianne Williamson Michael Breen • Sháá Wasmund • • • • • • • • • Robert Dilts Sid Jacobson Jonathan Altfeld Robert Anton Wilson Ian Watson Michael Neill John La Valle Paul McKenna Christina Hall www. he found that individual change is the key to collective change. mission-critical business projects and change programmes. In the process.co. Thanks to anyone whose efforts have made their way into this work. an e-zine which goes to thousands of people around the world each week (available from www. He lives in Leicestershire (UK). He spent much of the nineties leading large.
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