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In pursuit of happiness
This book describes my personal journey of discovery for greater joy – a journey
that I initiated because I believed that there was a better way to experience life
than in a continued state of sadness. For some people like myself, most days can
feel dull and gloomy as if a grey cloud is hanging over our heads. I spent many
years searching for reasons that neither lifted the depression nor gave me more
joy. I am unable to recall when these feeling first materialised but what I do
know is that these grey clouds have been there ever since I can remember.
In my world, grey clouds are a metaphor for a range of general negative feelings
that I encounter on a day-to-day basis. Such feelings can be as mild as a general
feeling of dissatisfaction or emotional flatness or they can be as extreme as a
constant tearful state, panic attacks, sickness and anxiety. Occasionally, a day
might be filled with laughter and contentment although I have rarely, if ever,
experienced feelings of overwhelming happiness, joy or even euphoria.
Over the past ten years or so, many avenues have been explored in my continued
search to understand the mechanics for creating greater happiness. However,,
this book is ultimately more of an exploration - thorough and conclusive, it aims
to be a piece of practical research into my own experiments to fully seek out
what truly works and doesn’t work in my personal quest. The reader may wish
to adopt some of my findings for themselves – they may prefer to read my
journey as an external observer – but most importantly, the reader must not take
anything here as gospel or as truth. Everyone has an individual map of reality
constructed from their every experience to date. Likewise, our values, beliefs
and perceptions of truth are as unique as fingerprints. What works for one
individual may not work for another. My hope, however, is that my findings will
help others in their quest to cope or even overcome what I term as low-level
depression and assist them in finding a greater sense of joy and happiness in
their lives.
What is happiness?
It would be all too easy to begin by looking at what doesn’t work in our lives – in
my case, the sad feelings, the depression, the anxiety. My personal goal here is to
gain more of what I want (happiness) and less of what I don’t want (sadness) so I
will begin as I mean to go on by looking out for the signs and clues of what does
work. After all, if we set our sights firmly on a target, surely we are more likely
to succeed in attaining that goal? I shall begin, therefore, by studying this illusive
term that I often believe I have no understanding or much experience of.
Of course, these are ultimately just words and are of no use to us unless we fully
understand what such states of happiness (or pleasure) are through our senses.
Here I invite myself and the reader to go explore with the five senses anything
that might give pleasure. It may be that the cold side of a pillow gives a moment
of relief and comfort or that the feeling of a warm shower on tired shoulders
proves a brief yet welcome period of contentment. If you can get hold of a copy, I
would highly recommend you watch Jeunet’s 2001 French film Amelie in order to
gain a little insight into how simple sensory adventures such as pushing your
hand into a sack of grain can give intense yet brief flashes of experiential delight.
If possible, take a small journal or note pad and begin to note down every smell,
sight, taste, sound and touch that gives even the slightest sense of pleasure (and
if that word fails to register, then consider something that gives you a new
sensory experience other than pain).
If you search through many definitions for the term happiness, you will also
discover that good fortune forms part of its definition. As far as current research
tells us, the word happiness originates from the old Norse (middle English) word
‘happ’ to mean luck or chance and it would seem highly likely that in medieval
England, you would indeed be happy (lucky) if you were to survive one of the
many constant invasions endured at the time. However, good fortune in the
context of the 21st century is rather far removed from that of medieval England!
With the abundance of security and comforts most of us are fortune to
experience, there appears little in our modern lives to compare with the
euphoric delights one must have experienced in victory against the invading
army (although many a football fan might well disagree!) And perhaps, here in
lies one possible clue to our search – that should we recreate the experience of
such a victory, we might also experience what our medieval ancestors might
have felt. Does that mean that we have to experience great struggle before we
can experience great joy? Or is it possible to find victorious experiences in our
secure modern world that can give us equal amounts of joy without a battle?
TASK – Set one small goal. On achieving that goal, be aware of what you
experience. Do you acknowledge to yourself success? Does it change how you
feel? Or is there some sort of internal dialogue taking place? What do you
believe about success and how you should feel about winning in life? Whatever
you believe or feel, reward yourself with something pleasurable.
Pleasure
Joy
Exhilaration
Bliss
Contententment
Delight
Enjoyment
Satisfaction
Felicity