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When I was growing up, I never heard about gays and lesbians. I always felt different. I knew from an early age that I would never marry a woman. During middle school, I developed crushes on many of the boys. It wasn't until college when I finally learned what "gay" was. I had casually heard of people being gay in high school, but only in a negative context. You may think that I grew up in some long ago decade, but surprisingly, I grew up in the 1990s. My parents are very homophobic, so it was definitely a huge shock for them when I came out (or tried to). When I came out of the closet, my parents quickly shoved me back in. They told me that gays and lesbians are more depressed, aren't normal, and that I definitely was not one. Up until then, I figured my parents would always love me. At that moment however, I learned the harsh truth that love is not unconditional. My parents may claim to love me, but they love the person they think I was and the person they hope I will be. My parents certainly don't accept who I am, they don't even tolerate the possibility being mentioned. While my parents are unlikely to ever move past their homophobia, this is my plea to more understanding parents who are willing to listen and want to remain a part of their child's life. <span>
I would think about how I must be asexual because I just couldn't think about liking women. Don't shelter your children though. you just need to get the ideas out there to them. There were times when I contemplated suicide because I "knew" I would live my life alone or I'd be miserable and married to a woman. would be when you first have the birds and the bees talk with your child. Do your children a favor and don't shelter them from people who are different. I feel that it is still very important to all parents. by not exposing me to gays and lesbians at all. It doesn't have to be a detailed discussion. but I couldn't.Educate Your Children While this advice might not help you much if your child already came out. I didn't know exactly what gays and lebsbians were. It was very hard for me to discover my sexuality. I would have had some information so that I could look into things further on my own. was that I definitely didn't like girls and that I was having crushes on boys. When they finally did mention gays. I wouldn't have felt so alone. your child ends up being like you with your homophobic views. A simple explanation such as. I think that a good time to mention gays and lesbians. If I had at least known about gays and lesbians. Make an Effort to Learn .. your child is gay and thinks they are alone in the world and commits suicide. All I knew. I didn't know that there were other people out there like me. Add to the discussion as you feel comfortable. I just knew that they were bad. Worst case scenario. I remember sitting around thinking for hours about how I wished I could be with a boy. some people love the same" will do at first. They would talk about wanting to kill all gays and gays to make the world a better place. Yet my parents thought that they were protecting me. it was with homophobic comments. Best case scenario. as I didn't even know that others like me existed. "some people love the opposite sex. I didn't even know there was a word for what I was. If instead my parents had just given me some facts.
just try to look at things from another viewpoint as well. My parents refused to read anything. When I came out. Sometimes Tolerance is All You Can Manage . I tried to slip tidbits of information about gays and lesbians into conversations. Try your best not to be close minded. Even if you feel that someone could have turned your child gay or that your child had a choice. I printed out information from PFLAG's website (Parents and Friends of lesbians and gayss). so there was a lot to talk about. At the time. gay marriage was a hot issue.Before I came out to my parents. They claimed that I was being brainwashed. but there are also several books that you could find to read. PFLAG has a lot of excellent information out there.
that's okay. If gays and lesbians are more depressed though. My parents tried to tell me that gays and lesbians are more depressed so that I would want to be a "normal" heterosexual. you don't really have a say in this. perhaps it is because their parents do not accept them. if you want to continue to have a relationship with your child. Once your child is 18. they're going to date whether you like it or not. Even if you don't want to hear about their dates. However. My parents not only wouldn't accept me though. but by the age of 25 they said I would know my sexuality and at that point I could "choose" to be a gay. Tell them your reasoning and that they need to give you some time. They told me that I should try out dating first before I made such claims. You can't realistically expect that your child won't date until they are 25. they wouldn't even tolerate me being a gay. tolerance is a good answer. that you aren't going to change them. When I told them that I'd try dating men. Examine and Move Past Your Homophobia . they were very opposed to the idea. You have to realize however. They wanted me to try dating men.If you can't accept your child right away.
Examine the roots of your homophobia and try to learn more. When you think about it.Many people are homophobic. Why do you hate gays? Do gay people hurt you? What's so different about you and someone who is gay? If your child is happy and in love. When you think about it. your children don't want to imagine their parents together in the bedroom. is that wrong just because they love someone of the same sex? If you've been indoctrinated to believe that homosexuality is wrong. Others claim that they don't like lesbians and gays because homosexuality is just plain unnatural. If you hate homosexuals so much. Is a certain religious book supposedly to blame? Read the passages in your religious text rather than going by the interpretations of others. Homosexuality is so much more than just the sex. that doesn't make them a horrible person. Calm Your Fears . rather than people you actually knew. A lot of people are homophobic because they are afraid of what they think goes on in the bedroom. Think about all the great people out there who just happen to also be homosexuals. Being lesbian or gay is just part of who they are. just because someone is a homosexual. Some people claim that their homophobia has something to do with their religion. yet they don't exactly know why. Consider the time period when the text was written and if the text is still relevant today. examine the source. do you hate your own child? Perhaps you've always thought of homosexuals as "those people".
Artificial insemination is a possibility. they once again have hope. despite my being a gay. Parents look forward to eventually being grandparents. There are support groups out there so that you can speak to . gay marriage will be legalized. My parents were so afraid that they wouldn't be able to look forward to either of these things because I'm a gay. . Gay couples can adopt and there are other options as well. I'm sure that within the next 10 years. Talk to Other Parents of lesbian and Gay Children You may think you can deal with all of this on your own. but perhaps it would help you to hear the viewpoints of parents who've already been through this. Now that they are in denial.A lot of parents look forward to planning a wedding for their son or daughter. Don't let such fears get in the way of accepting your child. Then they can help plan the wedding if they haven't completely disowned me. They shouldn't have ever lost that hope. My parents may still be grandparents. I will completely acknowledge that this must be very difficult for some parents.
Being intolerant of your own child doesn't help anything.</span> Published by Jenna Hansen . Perhaps other parents will calm your fears about not being a grandparent.others in the same situation. I beg parents to listen to my plea. your child will see that they truly are loved. Being gay is just a small part of who your child is. Don't risk losing your child because of your prejudices. Your child is still the same child who you've loved all these years. while not feeling as if you've left your religion. If you can't talk in a physical support group. If you're open minded and accepting. you can find a group online to help you get through this and realize that you still love your child. Maybe other parents will have suggestions for overcoming your homophobia. by sharing stories of their gay children who are now parents.
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