How to improve my life?

1. I’m going through too much; I'm trying to overcome obstacles and trying to do something. I drop out of college and now I am not doing anything. I need the right people I’m stuck in the ghetto (projects) with no one to depend on? People say I am not street smart or have any common sense. I have been going through criticism over and over that I just want to get out of this situation I'm in. The only thing I have been doing is watching porn being in the house and on the computer. And to top it all off I'm in a small town where there is a lot of haters. Best Answer - Chosen by Asker How to improve your life? First it is important that you take "ONE DAY AT A TIME" What this mean is that you are important and your life is important. Just think about you! Everything that you do is for yourself. Believe that when you get up and the first steps that you take is for you. Each step that you take is a success in itself. "YOUR SUCCESS' is determined by what you do. Now to move forward it takes encouragement. First you must be an encouragement to yourself. So the way to encourage yourself is a belief

that you want to move forward and each step that you make, you do set another goal that you reach. If an obstacle is too big, then find a way around it. If a project is to high then find a way to go under it. If you encourage yourself and keep moving forward your life will move with you. So, each step you take becomes an improvement in yourself and in your life. Let me be an encouragement to you and keep on making improvement and watch your life change before everyone eyes. Your success is determined by what you do today, not what you do on tomorrow.

2. How can I improve my Life? Every human being there has a different lifestyle. Everyone tries to improve their life Style. But everyone has not the proper opportunity to change it. To improve yourself you have to maintain some procedure. But before that If you want to improve your life, first you have to improve your health. Because if your health is ok, then everything is ok. So I give you some suggestion to maintain good healthy health: - - You have to do exercise at least 10 minutes for your whole body. - Keep skin care for better looks. - Keep food in time. - For relaxation you have to play computer game etc. In the case

of life, first you have to improve your personal skill, because it is the basic thing to prove yourself in any atmosphere. Yes, you have to improve your communication skill. Without communication skill you cannot express yourself to another. Memorization is another factor, because without memorization you can't do any think in time. You have much confident to yourself. But remind that, this confident should not convert into over confident. In our daily life time is another factor. So always works in schedule time. But we know that "No one is perfect". So always think positive, do positive. Always keep in mind that "I wish I looked better so I could live my life better".

You don’t like your life? Change it! Change your life for the better! Don’t have any clue on how to do it? Here’s a list of 100 ways in which you can improve your life. Feel free to add yours in the comments. This post is a response from a challenge I got from Mike King in this great post 100 Ways To Be A Better Leader, which in turn got inspired by this one Tackle Any Issue With A List Of 100 , from Lucia no Passuello. [Later edit: you may also be interested in this sequel 100 Ways To Screw Up Your Life.] 1. Accept Your Mistakes You’re human. We, humans, are making mistakes. Accept what you did wrong and try to do better next time. No need to punish yourself forever. In fact, accepting your mistakes is the only way to make them disappear. 2. Accept Your Friends Mistakes Maybe you got hurt by somebody. Happens. Just accept it and deal with it. People are making mistakes and if you can accept that for yourself, accept it for your friends too. In the end, all you need from them is their love. 3. Create A New Habit We’re doing a lot of stuff on autopilot. Try to integrate in this category new things you want to attract into your life. Habits are powerful. Harness their energy for your own good. Start by creating a habit in 15 days.

How to Create A Habit In 15 Days

in Apple & Mac OS Development,Productivity management

X,Digital Tools,Personal & Effectiveness,Time

Most of our life is lived by habits. We learn how to ride a bike, how to drive a car, we even learn how to speak and read. And then we do all of these with minimum effort and implication. Basically, all of these are habits. They allow us to focus on other things while pushing the routine into background. It would be quite difficult to learn to drive the car every time you need to go shopping, isn’t it? As any other things in our life, habits are just tools we use in our joyful exploration of life. Habits are not good or bad, they are just ways of handling repetitive tasks that would otherwise require a lot of energy. As such, the master habit of creating / breaking your habits can be quite an asset. In today’s post I’ll share some of my experiences with habit creation using one of my favorite activities: journaling. It’s a simple way in which you can assess, decide and then implement any new habit. There’s also a free downloadable journal template for you but let’s take the things one at a time. Why Do You Need A New Habit? Well, let’s say you want a new habit in order to:
• • • • • •

write on your blog more often update your twitter status daily write each day a page from your new book start a fitness program start a new eating habit or diet learn a new language

All these new activities are made by some repetitive tasks, a set of moves you have to do daily in order to get some positive results. So until you are proficient in that new language, or until you are that new blogging super star or until you publish your new book, you need a scaffold for your intentions. You need to create a habit of being there. How To Create A Habit In 15 Days All you need for that is a journal. You can use anything that fits, from pen and paper to an electronic journaling software. My choice here is the excellent MacJournal. Each day you will follow a simple set of rules thoroughly described below. Day 1: Name your habit Define it in the shortest, yet most understandable sentence you can write. Take your time. Write until you finally come with an atomic sentence. Your new habit could be something like this:
• • • •

write daily on my new book learn thai eat healthier exercise daily

Don’t go into detail here you’ll have the next day for that. That’s all you have to do in the first day. Day 2: Describe your actions in detail Now it’s time to get detailed. Write everything you need to perform in order to create that habit. For instance, if you want to write on your book, be as detailed as you can:

• • • • •

write each day at least 30 minutes write each day at least 3000 words read each day at lest 5000 words from previous chapters do at least 15 minutes internet research borrow time from my other tasks (family, kids, friends, kids, entertainment)

You don’t have to do all the tasks each day, but this exercise is meant to give you an idea of what you actually try to implement, to get into the “doing” vibration. Day 3-5: Habit Implementation During these days you’re going to journal your experiences with your habit implementation. You should be extremely accurate but without any comment whatsoever. We’re trying to break the doing from the analyzing here, so during these days don’t write any comment, just what you did. If you did nothing, write that, but don’t write the reasons. Day 6: Your First Milestone Now it’s time to start analyzing, This is the day when you’re commenting on your progress. If you haven’t made any progress it’s time to write the reasons. What stopped you? Which of you defined tasks in Day 2 were performed and which avoided? Be as specific as you can. You have a whole day just for assessment. When you finished this, you’re already a week away from your starting point. Whatever your progress, keep in mind that you’ve done it for one week. You only have 9 days to go.

Day 7-9: Habit Implementation Phase 2 You already have a milestone and three days of practice. You can now go on with habit implementation, applying all you’ve learned in the first milestone. Remember, just write down the action performed, not your comments. Day 10: Second Milestone Now you have the experience of the first milestone and even 3 more days in which you implemented, It’s time to write down your comments again. From my experience, the second milestone is the most important one. Basically, by the second milestone you already shaped most of your habit. Just write down your progress and any comments you may want to get out of your head. In the free downloadable template there’s also a little questionnaire to help you better assess your progress. Day 11 – 14: Habit Implementation Phase 3 By now this should be on auto-pilot. Unless you have established yourself a really big goal, you should be able to use the 3rd phase only for lock-in purposes. You may focus now on the doing and enjoy the reflex of being in that context. For instance, if you wanted to start writing a book, right now you should be able to do it acceptably easy. Even more, you should be able to focus on the writing part instead of the habit creation. Day 15: Final Evaluation Milestone If anything were right, you just can archive this journal and move on. If you feel you can enhance a little bit the process, or even if you haven’t created your habit yet, you

can restart the whole process. It’s only two weeks and you’ve done it once already. As you may see the actual implementation part is only twothirds of the total time, the rest is definition and evaluation. From my experience, creating a habit is largely a matter of defining it right first and then implementing it. Also, as you can see this is a fairly loose approach, I don’t think that applying over power to this process could make it more effective. The success of creating a new habit lies in your capacity to accept it and if you try too hard, you may come to a point where actually reject it. MacJournal Template As I already told you there is a free MacJournal template you can use if you want to start a new habit and you can download it here: Habit Creation Template (2332) The file is archived with a Zip utility so you will need to unzip it first. After that, you should see a file with the .mjdoc extension. All you need is to double-click it and it will open in another MacJournal window. That’s of course, if you have MacJournal installed. If you don’t, you can have a look at the end of this article, there’s something there for you. The template contains 15 entries, one for each day. In each of the entries there are several indications on what to write and how. Each entry is also named in an easy way: “habit implementation”, or “milestone”. The entries are dated on March 1st and ending on March 15th, but you can easily

change the dates from MacJournal inspector, if you really need that. Analyze Yourself Included in the template there’s a little bonus. Apart from the 15 entries there are also two smart journals “Implementation” and “Milestones”. They are designated to be perused after you finished the whole cycle. In the “Implementation” smart journal you have listed all the implementation entries, so you won’t be distracted by any milestones or definitions. In the “Milestones” smart journal you’ll have only the milestones entries. It’s interesting to see how your implementation progressed and what you wrote on each of the milestones entries. If you’re curious about how those smart journals are created just apple-click any of them and chose “Edit Smart Journal” option from the drop-down menu. MacJournal Promotion If you don’t have MacJournal there’s some good news: you can buy it with an exclusive 15% discount as a valued DragosRoua.com reader. You can read all the details on the mariner promo code page. *** Let me know what you think about this. Of course, the MacJournal template is not compulsory for this, you can create your own journaling environment, using whatever you see fit, from pen and paper to even more complex applications. Maybe you can even publicly blog about it. Anyway, I’m really curious how this will work for you,

please let your comment, so I can adjust / improve / assess. 4. Build Self Discipline Don’t wait for other people to impose discipline on you. Start early. Create your own discipline. Although it sounds a little bit harsh, self discipline is a facilitator for many things in your life. It’s hard to get but great to have. 5. Make New Friends Reach out. Don’t be afraid. Establish new contacts. The worst thing that may happen to you is to be rejected. Well, if that’s the case, move on. The reward of having true, longlasting friendship is worth all the potential rejection. 6. Get A New Job Shaking your comfort zone will often create a lot of value in your life. If you’re not satisfied with your job, just get a new one. The pitfall of not having money for a limited period of time is temporary, get over it. 7. Start A New Diet You are, in a vast proportion, what you eat. Trying a new diet would often be the only needed change for a dramatic boost of your health and energy. Don’t necessarily have to be raw food, or even vegetarian, whatever works for you. 8. Keep A Journal Write down you feelings, your ideas, your goals, your activity. Journaling is by far one of the most useful things

I’ve done to change my life for the best. It works in such a silent, yet effective way. All you need is pen and paper.

The Morning Phrase
in Personal Development,Productivity & Effectiveness,Time management What’s the first thing you hear in the morning? What’s the first thing you read in the morning? What’s the first thing yo do in the morning? I ask because this very first thing will shape your whole day. If it’s something that plays on the radio, you’ll hear that tune all day long. If it’s something that you hear form your room mate (or your spouse, or your kid) it will circle in your mind all day long. If it’s something you’re doing with good results it will influence your entire day. With good results, of course. I call this specific piece of action, this day igniter: “the morning phrase”. The morning phrase is something very important and I don’t mean only at a symbolical, metaphorical level. We’re functioning with two minds: one conscious and the other one subconscious. Like it or not, a huge part of your being is driven by your subconscious mind. And one of the first things your subconscious will receive daily will be this morning phrase. And guess what: your subconscious mind is a very obedient friend: it will do exactly what you tell to it. This apparently insignificant thing is like a powerful switch for a better mood during the day. Once you activated it, chances that your daily behavior will change – without a significant conscious intervention from your part – are really big. In fact, you’re still experiencing those changes, only at a subconscious level. In today’s post I’ll try to take

the morning phrase out from your subconscious mind and make it a little bit more manageable. Why Having A Morning Phrase To To To To To unleash your energy in a specific task. keep a positive attitude during the day. implement a specific habit. fixate something in a longer learning process. keep you motivated towards a specific goal.

And you can add your very own reasons here…. What A Morning Phrase Is Made Of I started to experience my morning phrase more than 2 years ago. I had several morning phrases and I learned some important things about the effectiveness of a morning phrase. Here’s the detailed list. True First of all, the morning phrase must be true. If it’s something that you perceive as a lie, it will not work. Remember, you subconscious mind is not easy to challenge, it will eat whatever you feed it, so if you feed ti with lies, it will get back to you with lies. A true morning phrase is something that is very close to your own personality, your environment, you general life context. If the morning phrase is something like: “It’s so hot today in Antarctica” I don’t think you’ll hook your subconscious up into something useful.

Simple It must be simple and understandable. When you wake up, your brain is trying to adjust from sleeping patterns, specifically delta / theta frequencies, to the awake state, typically alpha frequencies. During this adjustment period, nothing too complicated will really get through, so it better be simple. As in not complicated. Realistic It must be something you are able to do it. Like during that specific day, not in a week, or month. Using your immediate resources, not something you may have in a month or two. Empowering That morning phrase must motivate you in some form. It may refer to things you are attracted to, or it may be formulated in some familiar and pleasant way. Whatever the form, the morning phrase will unleash something from you, so be careful at what you want to let out. Easy To Remember If you really want to make things smoother, chose an easy to remember phrase. Don’t go out rhyming, if you’re not comfortable with it, but chose something easy to memorize. That way you conscious mind will be attracted in the game too. How To Create A Morning Phrase The most effective moment for the morning phrase is at or shortly after the alarm clock. If you use an alarm clock, of

course. If you can get up in the morning without an alarm clock, you would have to create a separate habit for the morning phrase. I already wrote an article about how to create a habit in 15 days, so feel free to read it if you want to create this new habit. My alarm clock is in fact my iPhone, which makes things a little simpler. An alarm set up in the iPhone clock’s application can also have a short description. Which is in fact my morning phrase. So, I’m set. But you may not be an iPhone person, so you must chose other insertion points. You can have it written on a post-it on your bathroom mirror, for instance, or clipped with a magnet on your fridge. You can have it on your wardrobe, or on your car’s dashboard. It’s really a matter of what you think it’s a good insertion point for this type of messages. In fact, you will find the best insertion point once you start assessing the results. Depending on the specific content of that phrase, the results may be extremely diverse, but there are some common points you could be able to identify. Better Sleeping I noticed that after a few days of having this morning phrase, my sleeping patterns are starting to improve slightly. Might be associated with the fact that my stress level is lowered by using a morning phrase. Better Mood During The Day Regardless of the specific goal set in the morning phrase, you should be able to experience better moods during your

day. Or at least a more energetic attitude. Or you are smiling more often. Effectiveness That should be the most important assessment. If you’re experiencing a higher level of effectiveness – independent of the specific task you’re doing – the morning phrase is working. The “Night Before” Trick Ok, this is a trick, because is not happening in the morning, but it makes it works better. Read that phrase just before you go to sleep. Again, having it written in my iPhone makes it easier for me to have it close just before getting asleep. I noticed that when I read my phrase before going to sleep, in the morning I have a familiar feeling. Anyway, it works better like this. Do you have a morning phrase? If not, ever thought to start having one? Do you think it’s beneficial or placebo? Would love to hear your comments on that. 10. Travel Far Away From Your Home Traveling long distance is incredibly rewarding. It’s so exciting and full with unknown events. I only recently started to travel really far away from my home, but I do wonder how could I ever made it until now without this. 11. Learn To Take Risks Your life may be so boring and fade because… err, you made it like this? When was the last time your tried

something really difficult? When was the last time you challenged the odds doing something risky? Do it now. 12. Start Your Own Business Be your own boss. Work your own hours. I know, it sounds so shallow, for you, who hate your job but still have to stay there because of that mortgage. Well, unless you make the first step, nothing is going to change. That’s for sure. 13. Change Your Work Space Clean up your desk. Re-arrange furniture. Add some color to that space. Make the place where you work really enjoyable. So enjoyable that work there won’t be perceived as work anymore. It will be something you love to do. 14. Learn A New Language Challenge your mind. Constantly. If you’re going to do number 10, you’re going to learn some new languages too. From my experience, learning a new language is a fantastic mind opener. Sometimes you don’t even have to travel there. 15. Find Reasons To Agree Rather than disagree. We have this mindset of competition which makes constantly arguing over things. Well, stop that. You don’t have to force yourself into agreement, if it’s not the case, just trying to find some reasons will be enough.

16. Pay Yourself First You can’t give something if you don’t have it. You can’t spread light onto others if you don’t have light from within. You can’t give wealth to others if you don’t have it for yourself first. Make yourself a service and pay yourself first. 17. Wake Up Early This is not a habit, this is a lifestyle. Don’t just wake up early without a purpose. Be early. Be there before others. Look for opportunities and embrace them. Waking up early means keeping your eye open to every available opportunity.

Waking Up Early
in Getting Things management Done,Personal Development,Time

Waking up early is probably the most popular topic amongst the personal development blogs. Not to mention the fact that is almost the first thing you hear during a personal development seminar: I will teach you how to wake up early, my friend. It’s the “Hello World” of the personal development (“Hello World” is the first application you build when you learn a new programming language). I have to admit that I was quite busy with this too, back in my early personal development endeavors. So, why is this so important after all? Why waking up early? In today’s post I’d like to focus on the reasons behind this popular topic as well as on some of my own techniques to accomplish this.

No Time Mindset With all due respect, I think that waking up early comes from a “I have no free time” mindset. Waking up early is for people who have daily jobs but want to win extra time on the side. Waking up early is a signal you send to yourself with the content: “free some of my limited, allotted time, and do it early in the morning”. That approach changes your time perception. It makes time a finite resource. We may perceive time as a finite resource, but that’s only a convention. You know, when you’re in love, a second can seem like minutes and an hour can last days. When you’re bored, a whole day may pass in a second. We manipulate time through our perceptions. If we perceive time as infinite it will be infinite, the same as it is when we’re in love. The empty goal of waking up early changes our time perception into a limited resource. So, waking up early as a goal comes from a scarcity mindset. The underlying reason is: “I am in serious trouble with my time, I don’t have enough, I have to win some otherwise I won’t be well”. Lack of something is a powerful motivator and this motivator works for many of us. Especially when you can have some quick and visible victories. If you can create a habit of waking up early in a week, you’ll have some quick victories on your side and that will make some boost in your self-respect. You get the feeling you are not missing that thing anymore. But the main question is: “what are you going to do with all that free time?”. I know people who were really good at creating the habit of getting up early but they reverted back

to a different routine after several weeks, because… well, because they had no idea what to do with that free time. So, if we’re going to wake up early, we need a better reason for that. We need to know what are we going to do with that free time, otherwise it won’t work. Or at least, it didn’t work for me. Waking up early must be a consequence of something much bigger than a habit, it shouldn’t be just a goal on itself. Assess Your Time What are you doing with your time throughout the day? Have you ever had the curiosity to write it down, to journal your time usage? I bet you’ll have some big surprises. It might sound awkward to journal every 15 minutes what are you up to, but if you can do it for just one day long, it will be enlightening. You’ll be dazzled to find out that your daily time is huge, you’re just not using it properly. But, suppose you’re using it properly, but need more. If you haven’t notice it so far, I am using my Assess, Decide, Do life management framework for this. If you haven’t read yet the ADD series, feel free to do it right now and then come back here to read this post. By using this ADD approach, we’re going to traverse each of the necessary realms (from assessment to doing) until we’re actually going to implement the habit. So, for now we’ll be starting in our Assess realm. Suppose we really have to do more (out of pleasure, for instance: we started a nice project, we love it, and want to do more of what we like). We gathered all the information we need.

Here comes the decision realm. We can decide to free up some time throughout the day, by eliminating some other tasks, for instance, or we may chose to free up some time from our sleeping routine. Again, suppose we’re not going to free time from the early night (which will result in going to sleep later than usual) and we decide to free up from the morning routine. As you may see, this approach is really different from other DIY tutorials or self-improvement programs. We take a step back and first we assess the need for that specific habit. And then, after we have all the information from the assessment realm, we make a decision. And again, note that the decision could be quite different from our initial intention: we may find out that we’ll be better going to sleep later than waking up early. Now that we assessed the need, took the decision, all we have to do is implement the doing part. Waking Up Early – How To In my experience, there are two ways to achieve this: brute force and gradual adaptation. Brute Force Back in time 20 years, for a personal story. At that time I was doing my military service in a Romanian city called Timisoara. We were still under a communist regime and military service was pretty bad. But out of nothing, during December, some people in Timisoara started a Revolution which ultimately led to the fall of the communist regime. Years after, that was to be called the Romanian Revolution. I didn’t have any idea what was going on in the city, but

the most important result for me, as a soldier, was that I was forced not to sleep for 5 nights and 6 days. That’s what I call brute force. From that event on I was able to manipulate my sleeping patterns much more easily. The duration of that sleep deprivation was so huge that made 2 nights of sleep deprivation in a row actually manageable. Of course, I was under extremely stressful conditions. But the main result was that I knew I was able to do it. Ever since I find it really comfortable to have 24-36 hours in a row without sleep, every once in a while. Word of caution: I do not recommend to try sleep deprivation like this, it was just an example on how bigger and faster moves can make regular moves achievable. It was also something that took place in very stressful conditions and also generated very stressful effects, apart from this new ability. Sleep deprivation can be extremely dangerous for your health, and it is something you should know before starting a waking up early routine. Another example for brute force is running: if you manage to run one day 10 miles, you’ll find the next day quite comfortable to run 3 miles, although your regular habit is to run only 1 mile. I was applying this technique in my guest posting habits also. I never had a guest post in my entire life, but that was until last month, when I decided it’s time to start doing this. And last month I implemented an experiment called “Massive Guest Posting” (feel free to read the post for more info) during which I wrote and published not one, not two, not three, but seven guest posts. To make things a little bit spicier, each post was part of a series, was published on a

different blog in a different city on the globe, but at the exact same time. Guess what, now I’m finding pretty comfortable to write 2 guest posts per month, and that without affecting my regular writing routine for the blogs I already own. Gradual Adaptation Gradual adaptation is a cumulative technique in which you are making and assessing small progress each day. It’s the 5 minutes per morning rule: put your alarm clock 5 minutes earlier each morning. If you do this for a week, you’ll have 35 minutes of free time. It’s important to assess the effects each morning, in order to see how much you can push. I know people who are able to push 5 minutes per morning for two weeks continuously. That gives them an extra 10 minutes aside the expected extra hour. Other seem to do it better in installments: 5 minutes for a week, than one week at the same hour. And then another week with the alarm clock 5 minutes earlier each morning. Gradual adaptation works. Period. I never met somebody who didn’t get results from that. This is why is so spread as opposed to the brute force technique. I successful used gradual adaptation when I learned a new language and I found it much more appropriate than brute force. For instance, when I was in Japan I tried the brute force approach in learning Kanji. The result was a lot of frustration. I was so confident that once there I will learn my way out in one or two days that I totally neglected to learn some Kanji before getting to Japan. Once there, I was completely puzzled and despite my efforts I had to rely only on English signs for my orientation.

Adequate Waking up early works only if you have something to do with that hour. If you don’t, you’d be better sleeping more and hope you have some nice dreams. So, if you ever want to implement that habit, I highly suggest to give some meaning to that extra hour. Start a list of things that you have to do during that hour. And then do them. 18. Train Your Focus Your focus is in fact your reality. Use it wisely. Train it constantly for it will enhance your reality in ways you never imagined. Keep your focus sharp as a razor blade and be prepared to experience life in fantastic shapes and colors.

Training Your Focus
in Personal Development,Productivity Effectiveness,Spirituality & Beliefs,Time management &

How is your focus? Do you find it easy to concentrate for longer chunks of time or are you easily distracted? Do you enjoy doing the same thing at the same focus level over and over again, or are you easily bored? I used to think that focus is a function of pleasure: I can concentrate on this because I like it. I do some stuff better than other because I like it. While loving what you do can keep your concentration high, at least in the beginning, maintaining a constant, high focus is not a function of pleasure at all. It’s a function of will.

Focus can be trained. It can be enhanced, it can be shaped the way you want. It can serve you well, if you treat it well. In today’s post I’ll share some of my observations regarding focus and how one can work this tool the same way you work your muscles in your daily workout. Detach From Pleasure To like something is a great “do” igniter. It really puts you on the road. Starting something you don’t like is usually slower and less energizing. But after the initial thrill, even if you do like what you’re doing, keeping yourself in the flow requires a lot of effort. Your focus will start to weaken. The best way to ensure a constant flow of focus is to detach from pleasure. To treat every single task emotionally equal. Might sounds “robotish” and totally not fun, but in fact it’s just a way to trick your focus into a better approaching method. If you’re constantly doing only things you like, your focus will develop a sort of addiction. It will unconsciously start looking for nice stuff, and will ignore difficult, or boring things. It will not discard it and put it aside for later, the boring stuff will simply disappear from the radar. You’ll end up as a hedonistic prisoner of “only nice stuff, please”. Detaching from pleasure doesn’t mean you will refrain from enjoying what you’re doing. Detaching from pleasure means you’ll start doing things regardless of their niceness level. You’ll just do them. Detaching from pleasure means you’re also detaching from boredom. If you can observe yourself doing stuff, pleasure and boredom are just choices. You’re doing that thing anyway, so you can chose how you feel about it.

Assess Results Whenever you keep your focus on something for longer chunks, take your time to assess results every once in a while. Take your time to see how were you at the beginning of the task and how are you now. Especially in difficult tasks, assessing results is a great focus enhancer. It does this by progress showing. If you’re caught in solving a longer problem, you might forget where you started. You start circling and stumbling. You get caught in a pattern of “I’m getting nowhere with this” and your focus will start weaken. The hedonistic part of you will ask for something nice to hang on, and you’ll step away form the problem and go grab a cookie, for instance. If after the cookie your focus will be higher, it would be great, but your focus is usually thinner. You didn’t assess any results, you just tried to escape a difficult task. Your focus will want again to the cookie. Assessing results is easy, is a matter of saying: “I started this journey 15 minutes ago, and I’m doing ok, regardless of the fact I’ve done only one single step. I’m ok. I’m on it.”. Your focus will be forced to stay there until you solve the problem. You assessed your position, you acknowledged the fact that you’re making progress. This works regardless of the focus time span. You can assess results of a 15 minutes cooking session, or of a 5 years goal. Maintaining your focus is equally important in both.

One More Second I took this habit from my fitness session. Whenever I do pushups or abs, I establish some goal, let’s say 50 abs. When I’m close to 49, I stretch myself out and go over 50, usually 51, or 52. I do the this all the time. The goal is clear but I always try to stay in there for one more second. I also did this in business. Whenever I was close to finish a project, I did something extra, a feature or an addition of some kind. It was not in the specs from the beginning but I felt the need to put it there. Staying “one more second” in a project, in a workout, or in a relationship is a fantastic focus enhancer. I always know that I can do more abs after that second and I always know that my project will be a success, after that last feature. I am in there, I know it, I stay focused. “One more second” is also good for assessing wrong paths. Even if you feel it’s wrong, take one more second to assess that and let your focus decide. If it’s a bad relationship, stay one more second in it and make sure it’s really bad for you. Next time, your focus will warn you from the beginning, and you won’t have to go through tough times again. Balance Your Senses Your focus is channeling the reality by using your senses. Each person have a specific distribution of these senses in their focus. Some are visual, some are functioning well by really touching stuff, some are reacting better to voices. Your senses are the gates and your focus is the gate opener.

Focus likes diversity. If you’re a visual guy, try using some sounds in the next working session. Put some music on, tap the table from time to time. If you’re doing something related to sounds (you’re a musician for instance, or working on a movie soundtrack) try to balance this by using some new lights around you. Change your seat, light a candle. It will instantly make you focus better. Your focus will always appreciate a new balance in your senses. It’s not about boredom, we talked about that already. What you’re doing is sending a complementary signal that will make your focus trying to recompose the big picture. And that will keep it on the current task. Your Focus Is Your Reality Ok, I cheated a bit. I started with all those tips about focus enhancement and kept the focus definition aside. And I did this for a reason. I strongly believe that your focus is in fact your reality. You cannot experience something outside your focus. Everything you do is driven by focus, it’s like a handle to keep and master your environment. It’s the only way you actively experience your life: whenever you’re not focused, you’re drifting away, whenever you’re focused you’re sailing. Let’s make a short experiment now. Take a look at the wall in front of you. Yes, like right now. Take a look, I said, don’t cheat. After several seconds come back here and read on. Where was your focus while you looked at the wall? Outside this blog post, of course, what a silly question. But where was the blog post during this period? You’ll answer

that it was there, right in front of you, waiting for your to get back. It was in your mind. But I will say this blog post was completely outside your reality. You might have think it was there, but it was on a virtual space and time. Your real space and time was filled with the wall. You were focused on the wall, and the wall took precedence of everything else in your life, including your thoughts. You might have think you were thinking at the post, but instead you were focused on the wall. Everything in your life works like this. You might think you’re doing something, but your real focus is somewhere else. You think you’re happy, but instead of real happiness, your focus is in useless, shallow thoughts. You give to your thinking mind the benefit of reality, instead to give this to your focus. You might spend your entire life thinking you’re doing just fine, but your focus will be on a wall. You’ll be in fact experiencing a wall, not a happy life. This is why training your focus is far more than a productivity technique. At a certain level, focus mastering is a magical endeavor, is an esoteric, almost secret art. The one who masters his focus will master his own world. Are you with me here? Or are your drifting away? 19. Start A Blog On whatever topic you want. Not only it will give you the opportunity to create something new and valuable but it will also bring new people into your life. Blogging is far more than a hype, is a personal development tool. A very good one.

Blogging As A Personal Development Tool
in Blogging,Digital Tools,Getting Things Done,Personal Development,Relationships & Society,Success & Wellness Everybody is blogging these days. Some are doing it for the money. Some are doing it for celebrity, while others are doing it for being noticed and getting a better job. Some of them are good technical bloggers, while others are blogging about sex or about travel. I blog for more than 5 years now and one of the reasons I started it was for lobby. At that time I was an active player in the Romanian web publishing market and I decided it’s time to create an independent traffic measurement tool. It took more than 2 years but I finally got this thing started and it’s now live and working for the entire industry. Blogging is certainly one of the most powerful and effective ways to create. It can bring you money, fame, it can spread your ideas and create communities, or it can bring close to you fascinating people. But the bigger, healthier and more interesting benefit of blogging among all is for personal development. I already wrote how I use travel for personal development, why I recommend entrepreneurship as personal development tool and even a post about astrology and personal development. If you’re not so much into astrology I recommend you to read first this article about understanding astrology. In today’s post I’ll outline 5 reasons for which blogging is a fantastic tool for personal development.

1. Empty Your RAM By Blogging One of the fundamentals principles of GTD (Getting Things Done) is to get rid of open loops. Open loops are thoughts which are constantly taking the scene of your mind until you find a way to organize them. Emptying the mind is a GTD technique in which you are writing down everything that’s on your mind, in order to decompress and let your brain do what it does best: creativity. Blogging is a fantastic tool for that. Just writing out your problems could be enough to find the solution. Blogging is also great for setting a pace, for creating a rythm for your mind. Not to mention the support in making those mind emptying sessions into a constant habit. Although there is quite a difference between blogging and journaling there are common components, emptying the mind being one of them. Since I started this personal development blog a lot of my mind clutter was gone. Just being able to keep a posting routine and a blogging setup in which I write and organize my activity is enough to make me lighter and clearer. A happy mind is most of the time an empty mind. 2. Keep Track Of Your Progress All you write in your blog will be there in 3 years too (assuming you’re not going to intentionally wipe it down). Do you remember what you did 3 years ago? Like in each day? Or at least in each week? Well, you will in 3 years from now because you are keeping track of your life with your blog.

Assessing progress is often difficult in personal development, because it’s always inside the process. If you’re exercising, you have to watch the exercise process, if you’re learning a new language, you’ll have to watch the logs for that, and so on. Blogging makes it easy for you to witness everything you try, do, or intend to do, regardless of the specific process. It’s an universal assessment tool. Reading some of the posts I wrote 3 years ago on this blog is an interesting experience. If I would start again, I wouldn’t write some of those posts, that’s for sure. Looking back at that phase is revealing me things that I didn’t even know I was doing at that time. I was hasty, unfocused and careless. I wonder how this post will look to me in 3 years from now. 3. Stand Up For Your Decisions Blogging is a public activity. And by that, it enhances one of the key ingredients in personal development: accountability. All you write is public, it can be seen, commented on and quoted. Your ideas, goals and activities will be in open view. And if you say you’re going to improve yourself in some way, well, you must at least start doing it, since so many people already know about it, right? Accountability is a close relative of responsibility. And with responsibility starts every meaningful change in your life. The moment you take responsibility for all your acts, you create a handle for your reality, you can influence it. If you put the responsibility for your acts on somebody else, you’re going to give him your reality handle too. And that would be really bad.

Blogging was certainly one of the most important accountability enhancers for me. I remember that one year ago I started a blog challenge: 90 posts in 90 days. I failed miserably at it, with only 17 posts, after which I got horribly ill. But I fully accepted it. Several months after I started a new challenge: one post every 2 days. Guess what, I’m doing great with it! 4. Discipline Keeping a blog posting routine is great for discipline. It’s not that difficult to write a blog post every 2 days, after all. But keeping this habit for several months has tremendous implications. You become confident. Your self-esteem increases. You start tackling more and more difficult tasks because you now have the ability to do it. Discipline is one of the most valuable yet difficult to obtain assets for personal development. It’s hard to create an effective scaffold for it, mostly because you perceive the things you have to do as a burden. Discipline is used to overcome obstacles, to win battles and to conquer heights. And by its very nature discipline is fundamentally opposed to pleasure. But blogging can create a shortcut here. If you’re not overly pessimistic, writing about things you like – which is what blogging is supposed to be – can be a lot of fun. Writing daily about things you like also have this side effect of enhancing your over all discipline capacity. Keeping a blog for several months is in itself a little victory over your own procrastination tendencies. After this simple, yet pleasurable conquest, who knows, you may even start exercising daily. Or start a business. Or travel the world. And all was started with just a blog posting routine.

5. It’s All About Relationships Having a blog is a two way communication. Everything you write is subject to a potential comment (if you’re not closing comments, which can make your blogging a little bit boring). And the people behind those comments are forming your relationship network. Blogging is a great way to meet people. Real life, like minded, interesting people. Since I started to blog constantly here, more than 7 months ago, I met a tremendous amount of people. Some of them proved to be real assets, persons who are making a big difference in the personal development blogging niche. Some of them proved to be just nice people to talk and have around. Whatever the role of those new people in your life, the simple fact that they are interacting with you is a great reward. Answering comments, taking challenges or even accepting writing suggestions from your readers are just some of the ways in which blogging can enhance your relationships skills. The most I get to know people, the better I get to know myself. *** So, these are the 5 main points which are making blogging one of the most powerful and yet easy to use tools for personal development. Do you have other reasons in mind? Other blogging experiences? Suggestions? Would love to hear about them in the comments.

20. Write An Ebook You may think you don’t have a talent, but that’s completely wrong. And the easiest way to prove it wrong is to start writing an ebook. Any ebook. You pick the topic. It might be something you know or want to learn about. Write it. It’s fun.

How To Write An Ebook Using MacJournal
in Blogging,Digital Tools,Productivity & Effectiveness,Time management Writing an ebook could be a lot of fun. Not to mention the fact that by writing something you’re spreading value directly and you can receive a lot of direct compensation. If you chose to sell your ebook chances are that you will make some money. Sometimes a lot of money. And if you chose to give it away for free, it’s a sure bet that you’ll make a lot of new friends. Either way, it’s a win. But writing an ebook can be sometimes overwhelming. I’m not talking about the actual writing process, choosing the topics, putting the chapters together or the main ebook subject. I’m talking about the invisible scaffold, the physical setup for managing, maintaining and organizing your work. Sometimes you don’t remember what you wrote yesterday, or your ideas are coming too fast and you don’t have the time or the habit to write them down, or you don’t have a place with the last version of ebook and have to compile it every time you distribute it. In today’s post I’ll share with you my setup for writing an ebook. It’s a system based on my favorite journaling application, and that would be MacJournal, of course. I’ve

already wrote some articles about enhancing MacJournal, like power blogging with MacJournal, GTD style, or how to create a habit in 15 days, feel free to check them out before starting to read this one. Writing An Ebook I’m not going to talk about how you can chose you ebook subjects, because the options here are endless. You can write an ebook about gardening, an ebook about dating, an ebook about cooking, about programming, about business, about self-improvement (that would be my case, by the way) the sky really is the limit. I am going to talk about what your physical steps are in creating an ebook, what exactly are you going to do, step by step. For start, your ebook will contain sections, or chapters. The main creation process involve writing those chapters which are forming the main product. Yeap, I know you know that, just saying. You usually have a plan for that, either in form of a list, either as a mind map. You also establish a writing speed and a certain volume of writing each day. This is the main work. But if you’re writing an ebook, you must already have a blog in which you can talk about that. If you’re writing an ebook and don’t have a blog yet, I highly encourage you to create one ASAP. It’s not very difficult, and it’s good for your writing habits. So, besides from writing your actual ebook, you’ll have also to write some blog posts about it. To announce your ebook to your potential audience, to share progress or to call for opinions.

Apart from that, you will promote your ebook and you’ll do that by writing various pieces of text, most often landing pages for all your promotion channels. And in the process, you may have some ideas about the ebook, about the blog, about promoting or about anything else. I often found out that committing myself to a medium term project like an ebook opened the door to a bunch of new ideas. And of course you will do a lot of research also, usually grouped into notes. So, to keep a long story short, your ebook will consist on:
• • • •

chapters blog posts (including landing pages) ideas notes

Introducing MacJournal MacJournal is blogging. With application for default setup is a great application for journaling and a little bit of hacking it can be a killer blogging, as I already wrote. But in its a little bit too simple for writing an ebook.

When I decided to write some ebooks (and that would be several weeks ago) I turned to another fantastic piece of software from Mariner, StoryMill . StoryMill is a tool for writing fiction material, very close to writing movies scripts, including characters and scenes. It’s not a surprise that Mariner launched something so close to script writing since they are also owning Contour, one of the best tools for writing actual movie scripts. But it was too complicated for

an ebook. Great for a novel, but an ebook is usually less than a novel. So, I decided to make some tweaks to my MacJournal setup and come up with something a little bit more complex than a MacJournal vanilla setup but less complicated than a full blown StoryMill installation. I made use of MacJournal tagging capabilities, entry attributes like status and label, and of course, smart journals. At the end of the post you’ll also be able to download a template containing all the modifications described here. Writing An Ebook The Smart Way Well, enough with talking, let’s do some work. Here’s how you can create a setup for writing an ebook similar to the one I use right now. The Main Journal First and foremost, I created a new journal in MacJournal and named it after my future ebook. In this post, I’ll use a MacJournal template for an ebook called “7 Things”. It’s an example ebook which contains all that I’ve learned from my daughter, each year. She’s 3 now, so I will have 3 chapters. This journal will hold all the necessary information for my ebook, acting like a main repository. After that, I established a little routine for writing stuff in this journal. Nothing complicated: each time I add an entry in this journal I tag it using the Inspector window. And this is where the power of this setup actually is, in the tagging area. If the entry is a chapter of my ebook I add a tag “book chapter”. If the entry is an idea, I add to that entry the tag “ideas”. If the entry is just a research note, I tag it “notes”. I

think you got the idea. Exactly, when I write some blog post, I tag it “blog”. Tagging your posts is a great habit anyway, regardless of the fact that you’re writing an ebook or not. Another important habit is to keep a close reference of your entry status. Using the Inspector make sure you assess each time after you finished writing something the status of it. Mac Journal offers 5 statuses for your entries: Unknown, Not Started, Underway, Needs Review and Completed. Most of the time I’m in the “Needs Review” status. When I finished a chapter I assign it the status: “Completed”. You’ll see later why this is important. I also put in this journal every other support text, like blog posts, ideas, landing pages and if I need to do some research I also add notes. All in the format of a journal entry, with a topic title and body. Like this, every available text for my ebook is in one place, under one journal. It’s very convenient and help me speed up the creating process. Of course, if I keep adding chapters and notes and blog posts the journal will soon become cluttered. Putting together notes, ideas, chapters and blog posts can create a little bit of chaos. Using Smart Journals Smart journals to the rescue! In order to keep the various parts of this ebook separated and have a clear vision of what’s in every section at every given moment, I created several smart journals. In MacJournal, a smart journal is a special type of journal which can be constructed on the fly from the parent

journal, using some filters. It’s extremely powerful, because it can use a large variety of filters: from topic titles to entry statuses and ratings. With a smart journal you can extract from a main journal pretty much anything you want. So, I created 5 smart journals: Chapters, Blog, Notes, Ideas and Master. In order to create a smart journal option-click the main journal and chose “New Smart Journal”. A pop-up window will appear containing a filter panel. Here’s how the chapter filtering panel looks like.

The filter states that each entry tagged “book chapter” will appear in this smart journal. Any other entries will be ignored. Now I have a special journal in which I have all the chapters on my book, separated from the rest of the writing material. Good. I can focus. I can create another smart journal for ideas, extracting only the entries tagged with “ideas”:

and so on. For Blog and Notes smart journals the setup is identical, except the tags are “blog” and “notes” of course. Now you understand why is so important to tag your entries. If an entry is not tagged it will not appear in the smart journal. It will still be available in the main journal, though. Now, I needed a way to assess my progress, so I created another smart journal, with different filters. This journal is called “Master” and is the journal which will contain all the finished chapters of the ebook. In order to have all the chapter all I have to do is to add a filter using the “Tags” option, matching the tag “book chapters”. We’ve done this before, in the “Chapters” smart journal. But in order to have only the finished chapters, I will add another filter, using the “Status” option, matching the key “Completed”. Like this, only the book chapters with the status set to “Completed” will appear in the Master smart journal. Believe me, that’s a really great option to assess your progress.

In the test template used for this blog there are only 3 chapters, but if you’re writing an ebook with 20 chapters you’ll find this smart journal extremely useful. You will actually see how much you’ve done so far and you’ll be able to fine tune it. If you think a chapter still needs some touches, change its status to “Needs Review” and it will automatically disappear from the Master journal. Exporting Your Ebook After you finished it you may want to export your book from MacJournal. Either for packing it in a PDF format, either for some final touches in another word editor of your choice. In order to export your ebook, option click the “Master” smart journal and chose “Export…”. In the next window you can chose from various formats: word, html or PDF. You can also chose which meatdata (titles, date, etc) will appear on the export.

You’re done! Goodies Now, everything that was written here is contained in the example template I set up for this post. You can download it by clicking the following link. I 7 Things (1193) You will have to decompress the file first, it’s archived in a “.zip” format. After you unarchived it, double-click it and voila, you have a template for writing your own ebook, with some example text in it. All you have to do is start writing. Oh, you don’t have MacJournal. Well, that can be a problem . Fortunately, DragosRoua.com’s users are automatically qualified for a 15% discount, no questions asked. That’s right, you don’t need to give your email address, to fill some form or whatever. If you don’t have MacJournal you can buy it with a 15% discount just because you read this. Sounds a little too good to be true? Well, life is like this sometimes .

The whole process is described in another post, in which you will also find your mariner promo code. Go ahead, give it a try. Your next ebook might be the next Amazon sale hit. You never know until you try !:-) 21. Be Better, Not Perfect Striving too much for perfection will ruin your life. It will wipe out all those little imperfections which are making you… human. Being better, on the other side, is rewarding. Look back at the yesterday you and just say: I’m better! 22. Stop Self Sabotage You’ll be surprised by how much of a burden you can be to yourself. You are literally self sabotaging. Most of the time, unconsciously. If you have a long history of failure behind, that could mean you’ve become your worst enemy. Stop it. 23. Find Reasons To Love Your Life Maybe life wasn’t fair with you. Yes, I know, I’ve been there: life is never fair. But it’s fantastic. It’s unique, unrepeatable, one of a kind, beautiful, simple, challenging, sweet, hard… Just take a step back and find reasons to love your life. 24. Try Something New Maybe you’re sad because you’re bored. Have you ever thought about that? Just reach out and try something completely new. Go for a challenge, learn a new sport, pick a different restaurant or go for a comedy movie (if you’re the drama type). Just try it.

25. Avoid Fighting Fighting is the biggest energy leak of your being. Trying to prove another guy wrong is so against your true nature. You’re here to acknowledge life’s wonders, not to prove anybody’s wrong. They’re not wrong, just have different opinions. And that’s part of life. 26. Stop Wasting Your Power Are you doing something that you think you shouldn’t be doing right now? Well, that’s wasted power. That’s meaningless stuff promoted to the honor of being a part of your life. How long are you going to approve this? Why wasting power? 27. Learn To Ignore I think they should be teaching this one in schools. We’re so focused on so many topics and think we have to do so many stuff, that our life is literally clogged with stuff. It’s good to do stuff, but learning to ignore stuff is much better. 28. Experiment Gratitude When was the last time you said “thank you”? With all your heart? Everybody knows that an attitude of gratitude is the key to success, but almost nobody practices it. Well, start by experience gratitude first, and take it from there. 29. Recycle Your Aggression Don’t throw it away, recycle it! Use it for something you really want! Call out those wild forces inside of you and put them to work. Aggression is part of your being, so don’t try

to reject it, because it will only grow stronger. Recycle your aggression.

Aggression Recycled
in Personal Development,Relationships Society,Spirituality & Beliefs,Success & Wellness &

You’ve been there, admit it. You had your share of aggressive thoughts, intentions or even actions. You did at least something in your life with violence and aggressiveness. And now you regret it. Let’s stop a little and look at this closer. Because I think in its core, aggression is something that you can use. Or reuse. Or, even better, re-cycle. What Is Aggression? Aggression is a violent stream of actions performed in order to change your reality. Behind this rather dry definition is a ready to erupt volcano, and I know it. You also felt it more than once in your life. But the truth is aggression is just something you do in order to change something in your surroundings. And as such, it is a part of your life. More than often I found myself acting aggressively only and only where there was no other way around. Or so I thought. I acted violently after I tried every possible way and had no results, after I did everything I could and my surroundings were still unchanged. Then, as a last resort, I used aggression to break the chain.

The bad thing was that in the process some other stuff was broken. This is what happens usually when you become aggressive: you break stuff instead of building stuff. You break glasses, you break windows, some powerful people break even walls and some other people break hearts. And then regret came. That’s the aggression pattern: a strong feeling of pressure, a high moment of “fight or flight” which usually triggers the real actions, and then regret. This is how aggression usually works. Social constraints Our society is working now in a very balanced way. The cells of our modern society are more than often educated individuals who know how to deal with pressuring situations. You learn the rules of a peaceful cohabitation from a very young age. You also have external tools or options to chose when you face a threat. Nowadays people seldom find themselves in “fight or flight” situations“. So, you don’t need to use aggression to normally socialize. But there were times in which society was quite hectic and the normal balance we experience today was a dream. In fact, every major shift in history was a revolution or something like that. Seems that humanity advanced by turmoil rather than organic growth. And turmoil is extremely aggressive. Still, society puts a lot of constraints on the individual. Those widely advertised success mirages and dream like lifestyles can create enormous pressure on a regular guy. Striving to attain high standards is more and more difficult.

And when your regular arsenal of tools is empty you get to your last resort: aggression. When the ladder is too crowded you start pushing people away. When your time is limited, you start eliminating ”distractions“ like friends or even family. When there is only one place for a winner you start to fight every other competitor. Without even knowing, you’re in a ”fight or flight“ situation again. Regret After you aggressively achieved what you wanted, you usually assess your current position. And it’s always the moment after when you realize that you’ve broken a lot of stuff around you in this effort. And then came regret. I haven’t found any single aggression manifestation which wasn’t paired with a good dose of regret in the end. Regret is a toxic emotion. It’s a craving for an extinct reality which puts you out of your current reality. Regret means: I want everything to be again as it was before. That thing it’s impossible but the unspeakable need for a comforting surrounding is huge. Regret takes all you energy and invest it in an useless effort to twist your current reality toward the past. A Shortcut For More Energy I gave the social constraints example only because it’s so easy to see it around you but social pressure is not the only cause for an aggressive behavior. The source of your aggression can be everything that caused you imbalance: lack of comfort, lack of emotional healing, lack of material

resources. Every imbalance you experienced can become fuel for your future aggressive behaviors. Every aggressive move aims to change your current reality, to free you from a more or less imaginary pressure. And because of that, aggression is a fantastic shortcut to your inner power. This is something that is always left apart when it comes to aggression, nobody talks about its power, its fantastic forcefulness, its vibrancy. All that sparkle is there, and it’s so difficult to find it using other paths. Aggression is a gate to your hidden energy rooms, to your unexpected bursts of stamina, to your effervescence reservoir. In itself, aggression is nothing but pure energy. The only bad thing about it is the direction. Aggression is great energy with bad direction. Why? Because you point it outside, you release it instead of use it. Ever saw an aggressive person actually breaking a wall with his fist? Every noticed the fantastic power around an aggressive person? What a waste! Think what you can do if you could transform that energy into something really useful to you. Imagine the things you can have if all that energy would be accessed, assessed and spent wisely… The Alchemical Guide For Aggression So here comes a short practical guide for transforming aggression. In fact, is not for transforming aggression into something else, I’m really not into getting rid of aggression altogether, I really think this is part of our life and must live with it. Is more like tweaking some of its components and turn it into something you can handle, instead of becoming somebody who is used by aggression.

Assess Your Imbalances Be very honest with yourself and don’t refuse things you really want. Hidden desires or unfulfilled self-promises are amongst the most frequent aggression triggers. Your own universe must be at ease, don’t twist it just because somebody else want that. Sooner or later you’ll want to eliminate the twister and you’ll do it in an aggressive way. Just say what you want and try to get it. Being honest with yourself is not only so much easier than to concoct incredibly complicated lies, but is also a great prophylactic. Cure Your Imbalances If you don’t have something do your best to have it or at least do yourself a service and accept you can’t have it and move on. There are only two ways to solve this desire thing: either you get it, either you get rid of it. Being honest with yourself and assessing your desires is great, but this second step needs action. Go out and confront your hidden wishes with your reality. Getting out of your current reality and searching for solutions will not only increase the chances for cure, but it will also give you some fresh insights: maybe you don’t even need that, after all. Cure you balances or forget them. Accept Your Power You do have a huge power within you. It’s the power that breaks the wall driven by only your bare fist. Accept it, make it your friend, feed it. It’s your power to transform the world and it’s there, don’t deny it, don’t cover it with fake pinky positive behavior without any support. Positive thinking is good, but you still have the power to break the wall behind you if your positive thinking is not yet strong

enough. Just because it’s wilder than you can understand, and comes from a darker side of yourself, well, that doesn’t make it less usable. It’s there, accept it and get ready to use it. Just don’t break the wall with it anymore. Try to build something, for a change. No Regrets You are the source of your power and you are the author of your reality. You did it. So, why regret it? If it’s broken, you can build it up again. Don’t waste your time in useless energy traps, regret is toxic. *** Seeing the world on black and white can be disempowering. Just because aggression is usually a destructive pattern, leaving room only for regret, that doesn’t mean it can’t be used. Aggression is not something outside you, unless you make it be. It’s always your inner energy that manifests. Just use it wisely. 30. Release Your Guardians Don’t touch that! Don’t eat that! Don’t go for that opportunity! Those are the sentences you hear when going for something you really want. Those are your guardians, your mental constructs made to protect you. Release them, you’ll be much better off. 31. Clean Up Your House It’s fun. And it’s good for you. Make a habit out of cleaning up your house with joy and happiness. What’s outside is a mirror of what’s inside. If your house is a mess, probably your internal life is a disaster. Neat that stuff, it’s easy.

32. Write A Personal Mission Statement You’re here with a reason. No matter how small you feel now, how insignificant others may made you feel, you have a purpose. Take the time to write your personal mission statement. It will bring light and direction into your life.

Personal Mission Statement
in Personal Development,Spirituality & Beliefs,Success & Wellness I’m writing this post under quite a pressure. This is coming from my personal life, where apparently we reached a point when things must be changed. It was never a totally transparent personal life, there were always some closed windows, and I never wanted to look through those windows. I totally believed that those windows were closed for good. I assumed that everything was exactly as shown, no hidden windows, but apparently I was wrong. Whatever must come out of this, it should be for the better. It’s a crossroad I must solve. I won’t go into further details about that. I don’t think that my personal life is worthy enough for public exposure, and even if I would, I won’t make it public out of shyness. Or decency, call it what you want. What I would do though, it’s to continue my chosen path in regard with this blog. I established a schedule and I intend to keep it as much as I can, even under stressful events. Maybe some of you will think that this is strange, and I should focus on solving those problems first, and then

work on this blog again. While I totally agree with the fact that I should solve those problems, I don’t think that I should focus only on that and let other parts of the mechanism to fall apart. I think that we’re made of different commitments and that every commitment, being personal, social or business, must be fulfilled. If there is unbalance in one category, keeping the other categories working is a must in order to keep the machine working. Otherwise the machine will stop for good, and everything will be lost. It’s hard to do it, don’t get me wrong, the pressure I have right now is really hard to describe and I don’t wish for anybody to go through this. Anyway, to make a long story short, I might post smaller articles and not keep up with the intended pace, but I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my commitments. It’s funny how the synchronicity in our life can manifest. Today I scheduled a blog post about “Personal Mission Statement”. I wrote earlier about the necessity of a personal mission statement, and today I’ll outline mine. First of all, it took me several weeks to came up with this. I started the way I described in the other post and then refined continuously. I am quite satisfied now with what I came up, but I know that this is satisfactory only for now, life is a process, so your mission should be a process too. It might be adjusted later, but for now it works. Let’s start with the full text, and then I’ll go into details: To create, share and enjoy value for my personal growth as a human being for me and for all that will need that. To maintain a healthy Production / Production Capacity balance.

To do this with my free will and to not break anyone freedom or free will. To do this with love and compassion for me and for everybody. Creativity / Integrity / Freedom / Love Creativity The first part is the most common part for me. The capacity of creating value is something that defines me. I can do a lot of things, and I can create value. For me or for others. It’s always been like this, even when I was a businessman, and even before, when I was working as an anchor man in a FM radio. I was always focused on delivering high results. But the first part of my personal mission statement was also the part which undergone the most revisions. The main reason was the third verb: “to enjoy”. The first two parts came to me naturally, without even thinking, but the part with “to enjoy” had to be squeezed in. To create and share is something that I do naturally, but the enjoying part is not. And I realized that this is one of the major obstacles in my life. Whenever you create something and you don’t enjoy the benefits you’re rejecting your work. Not accepting what you created is like not accepting yourself, your life. And this is where I had most of the problems. Wrapped up in notions like “altruism”, “self-sacrifice” or other bullshit like this, I was constantly rejecting all the results of my work. Not really enjoying money, not really enjoying my free time, not really enjoying my freedom. Especially not really enjoying my freedom to experiment and to learn.

Needless to say that my emotional vibration of “selfrestraint” attracted persons and situations in my life who reinforced it. I attracted persons that deeply and truly believed that my goal is to unconditionally support them. In all respects, material, emotional, financial. I was there to give and never to receive, and, most of all, to be blamed if something went wrong. Or if it was raining outside. But no more of this. Making this verb, “to enjoy”, part of my personal mission completely changed the way I act and the way I feel. Not only I started to enjoy all the benefits of my created values, but I also changed the emotional vibration. I started to attract people who are ready to share or to treat me at least equally. I also started some turmoil in some of my older relationships, and those people are starting to feel like walking on thin ice. I’m not that silly and peaceful person waiting to be abused anymore. I changed somehow, and I’m ready to stand for what I do and I believe in. If that relation should die because of my decision, so be it. If that relation is going to be transformed in order to incorporate my new me, I’m ready to accept that either. Integrity I often found myself beat up by working too hard. It was something like a red stripe all over my life. I always worked more, wanted more and achieved more than others, but I bet I felt a lot more wasted than them. And here comes the Stephen Covey paradigm (yes, I know it comes from that book, no need to remind me): you should always keep a good balance between your production (what you do) and production capacity (who you are).

That is basically transformed into a healthier lifestyle. Basically. Because if you look deep under, there’s a lot more than that. Let’s take the example of changing my eating habits in the last four months. I become a raw foodist, and I totally enjoy the benefits. I can work more, I am healthier, and I am a lot more balanced, physically speaking. I also enjoy a clearer mind and I’m much more assertive. But that habit involved much more than food. Changing the way you eat, in order to become healthier and have a better P/PC capacity it’s a huge thing. It actually challenges all the habits you had so far. After breathing, which is something that occurs more or less on autopilot, eating is the most internalized habit we have. This is why those billions of diets are floating out there, because it’s so hard and people are trying all the time. So, keep a healthy P/PC balance is a lot more complicated than it seems. But also it’s fantastically rewarding. Freedom Nothing exists in slavery. Not a single tiny thing was created in the absence of liberty. Or if it was something going out was an expression of the oppression, sadness and emotional poverty that slavery can create, not an act of creation. Nothing really can be created in slavery. Whatever form that slavery may embrace. It might be an unbalanced relationship, or it might be a substance dependency, like drug addiction. It might be a forced commitment to false values, or it might be a meaningless job you attend daily only to think at the weekend. All of these are just forms of slavery.

Avoiding slavery in all forms is part of my personal mission statement now. Being held in dishonest or unbalanced relationships is not something that I would pretty much want to avoid, but it’s a goal in itself. Why? Because I’ve been too much prisoner in my own backyard, so to speak. I created too much walls around me, all of them covered in good intentions, to make a bigger and nicer prison. Freedom is the capacity to acknowledge yourself. To stand for what you want but to not break anybody free will. That is of equal importance. The slavery works both ways: the master is slave at the same degree as the real slave. Keeping others at your discretion is just another form of slavery. It might have some more material advantages but on the emotional and spiritual level it’s the same. Love I’m ready to fail at all of the above, if I can have love into my life. If I can give and receive unconditional love. If I can be in love without any imposed condition or without any trade off. This is not part of a personal mission, you can’t make the pursuit of love part of your mission, but you can make it part of your life. It’s not about creating value, although value is worthless without love. It’s not about having a healthy life, although love can heal anything. And it’s not about freedom, because nobody can break love, even if they break freedom. 33. Dissolve Negative Opinions About Yourself Whatever you think you may do, it’s half of what you can really do. And that’s because you have so many negative opinions about yourself. You can solve them. Just accept

the fact that you have them and then start working on them. 34. Build Different Skills Don’t stop learning. Don’t remain stuck in a single career, it’s boring and limiting. Learn different skills, possibly from completely unrelated fields. You never know when life will ask you to use them. Besides, it’s a lot of fun. 35. Manage Your Time As You Manage Your Money Have you ever thought what would be if you would manage your time the same way you manage your money? Just give it a try. See where you spend most of your time, what the return of investment is and how rich are you in time. 36. Exercise You don’t have to break the world record, or something. Just make sure you exercise constantly. It will make your body healthier and your mind clearer. It’s also one of the simplest and most affordable ways to improve your life. 37. Be A Parent Having kids doesn’t necessarily means you’re a parent, and I know that very well. Being a parent will surely change your life forever: filling it with unconditional, life lasting love, care and warm feelings. You’ll live in love. And learn. 38. Throw Away One Object A Day From Your House Maybe your life is breathing so hard just because it’s suffocated by objects. Learn to let them go. You may donate them, give to charity or simply throw them away, but don’t

let the clutter stay in your way. You’re not the objects you have. 39. Read A Book Per Week Or, alternatively, a fine selection of blogs. That will keep your mind alert and your focus steady. Reading is like good food for your brain, without it, it will go lazy, obese and unresponsive. But with the proper food it can become your best friend. 40. Start A Monthly Challenge Being it physical, mental or social. Intend to acquire something new in your life in 30 days. Improve your health using new methods, or your relationships by starting new things together. Make it count. And count on it. 41. Call An Old Friend It’s enlightening to meet somebody you haven’t talk to in the last years. Go right now and call an old friend, or a relative. It will bring up memories and it will create new opportunities. Don’t let the dust settle on your relationships. 42. Follow A Coincidence Well, there aren’t any coincidences, I lied. Everything has a purpose. If you witness something which may seem like a coincidence, then you’re very lucky, you just got a sign. Follow it with trust, it will lead you well.

43. Play A Game Any game. Just play. Like a child. Allow yourself to do something just for fun, without any goals, pressures or deadlines. Will make you understand that everything is a game. Sometimes a little bit harder, but still a game.. 44. Forgive Somebody Out Of The Blue Don’t hold that grudge for that past insult. Grudges are heavy and tend to make the take off for a new life a little bit difficult. The longer you hold that grudge, the more difficult the take off will be. Forgiveness will lift you off. 45. Stop Solving The Wrong Problems You are not here to witness the bad things in your life. Nor the performance in itself. You are here to enjoy a journey. To become aware, To grow. So, stop solving the wrong problem and focus on what really matters. 46. Make Peace With An Old Enemy That’s more than forgiveness, that’s the actual process of reversing a situation. Make peace with somebody. Turn it into your friend. I’m not saying this is easy, I know it first hand. But I also know it works. Enemies count down, friends count up. 47. Make A Promise To A Close Person And Keep It It doesn’t have to be something big. It doesn’t have to be for someone special. It doesn’t have to be difficult also. But it has to be a commitment to somebody. Just reach out, make a promise, keep it and then enjoy the feeling after.

48. Break Up With A Person You Don’t Really Like Maybe you’re friend with somebody just by habit, chemistry being dead for a long time now. Just break it up. Tell him. Ok, let’s unfriend us, this will not work. It will bring up something you thought you lost it long ago: courage. 49. Get A Thing You Wanted For A Long Time But you didn’t had time or money to get it. Just go out and get it. Not only it will boost your self-respect, but it will also free your desire channel, which may be a little bit clogged by having one and only one desire for such a long time. 50. Stop Being Judgmental With others AND with you. Excessive criticism will kill your enthusiasm. And if you think this post is something you shouldn’t read in the first place, then, my friend, you really are judgmental. Lighten up. Accept life as it is. 51. Change Your Wardrobe You don’t know how much are you tied to what you wear. If you’re on the gray loving side, put some color in your clothes. If you’re on the black and white, try some gradients. Of course, your clothes are not you. Hence, they’re so easy to change, right? 52. Smile At Least 10 Times A Day And I mean it, start to count that. Smiling is a sign of honesty and power. Everybody can cry over a disaster but only the most powerful can take bitterness with a smile. Exercise that power. And then try to go for 20 times a day.

53. Burn Some Old Memories Maybe the notebook from your 7th grade? Maybe the teenage dumb poetry you wrote? Whatever it might be, break up. It might be difficult, but it might also be a sign that you’re so attached to the past that you can’t advance in your life anymore. 54. Plant A Tree Or take care of a flower. Do it for at least several months. It will give you a sense of potential. Seeing that tree or that flower growing will make your self-confidence go up. If a flower can make it, why can’t I? Of course you can, now do it! 55. Move To Another Town Or Country Maybe it’s time to change the environment? Take the plunge, move over. Pick another town or even another country. Like all the good stuff, it might be pretty difficult in the beginning, but you can bet it would shake everything really good! 56. Join A New Group Go to a bikers meeting. Or, if you’re not a biker, to a toastmaster meeting. Join a group and see how you fit in. It will help if the group will be focused on some of your passions, of course. It will reveal a lot about your social skills. 57. Stop Watching TV Television evolved a lot from the balanced news provider it was in the beginning up to the current manipulating tool.

Just stop watching it for a week. And then for a month. Meanwhile, assess your psychological progress. You may be amazed. 58. Start A Totally Unexpected Hobby Start making trains out of matches. Raise cobras. Put tiny vessels into tiny bottles. Do whatever it takes to move your mind from your problems for a while. And if you can create something nice in the process, why not doing it? 59. Randomly Hug A Stranger On The Street Ok, this might be a little bit dangerous, but only if you think at it. If you’re doing it, chances are that you’re going to get your hug back. It will also help raising your adrenaline up to levels you never had for a very long time. 60. Set Up A Surprise Party For your or for a friend. It’s always good for your mood, even if – or especially if – you’re down. Do a thematic one, invite friends and tell them to bring their friends. And then expect to meet new, wonderful persons. And of course, have fun. 61. Go Hiking Do it for at least one week-end. Nature is more powerful than our human created environment. We don’t know how to channel the energy into our artificial habitats. If you want to recharge, go outside and stay in connection with the wilderness.

62. Get A Pet Whatever works for you, a bird, a guinea pig, a dog or a cat. It will keep you alert and it will cheer you up when you’re down. Taking care of a pet is also easier if you’re overwhelmed with human interaction. Even from a pet, love is still love. 63. Write A Thank You Letter You can send it or not, the real catch is to write it. Pick someone who helped you in the past. Start writing the letter and say everything you want to say to that person. It will make you understand what are you really grateful for in your life. 64. Meditate Daily It’s the easiest thing you can do. True mediation acts like a mind emptier, leaving you open to the whole flow of the sensations and experiences you would otherwise ignore. You don’t even need a complicated technique, meditate as you see fit. 65. Say Something Nice To Somebody Just like that. Out of the blue. Pick an unknown person and say something nice. After the initial surprise you’ll be amazed by the unmasked joy and gratitude they’re expressing. Admit it: you would like that too, isn’t it? 66. Say Something Nice To You Ok, but if nobody is telling you nice things, why not start this yourself? Do it in whatever form you think it’s appropriate: send yourself emails, write in your calendar or

leave yourself nice posits on the desk. With something nice just for you. 67. When I Doubt, Improvise Being so scared for not knowing the answer, so nervous that you may screw thins up… I know the feeling, I’ve been there too. Just go with the flow. Improvise. It will be so good for your unconscious mind. The real answer will be surprising. 68. Don’t Argue, Win Or Lose This goes hand in hand with avoiding the fight, but it’s a little bit different. If you get caught in an argument, just accept that you can have only two outcomes from it: win or lose. Settle with one and just move on. 69. Stop Faking Your Life It’s so easy to get caught in a flow of fakes. Society wants us to politely lie and you need to lie sometimes. Just stop it. Being authentic is the best thing you can do. No need to hide your sorrow, nor your joy. They’re both part of life. 70. Define Goals Again, that goes hand in hand with writing a personal mission but it’s more than that. It’s the habit of clearly deciding – and, subsequently, describing – where you want to go. Do you have a goal? A passion, maybe? Go for it! And be verbose.

71. Help Others Reach out and try to see if you can help others. You don’t have to be a Samaritan, just go out there and support somebody. The biggest trick of helping is really surprising: although it seems you’re giving, you’re in fact receiving a lot more. 72. Go Social Mingle, interact, go out. Get used to meet new people. Make this a habit and you’ll soon get used to do new things too. The goal is not to be the best networker in the world, but to be connected to as many energy sources as you can get. 73. Spend Some Time Alone Subsequently, make sure you set aside enough time for your own. You don’t necessarily need to recharge, but you need this time in order to get a new perspective. Stop for a while and look around. Where are you? Where do you want to be? 74. Fix Something By Yourself Go fix a broken window, or a scratch on your car. Don’t call for a specialist, get involved, see how you can have an impact on things around you. Work with your hands, prepare to sweat. It will instantly make you feel better. 75. Create Value Make things that others need too. Make something useful. Don’t follow blind or outdated commitments, go for what really makes a change around you. Creating value is the

core of your activity here and the only thing you really have to strive for. 76. Do A Random Act Of Kindness Doesn’t have to be in the form of a nice compliment this time. You don’t even need to communicate it to the target person. Just do an incognito service to someone. See how this makes you feel. Think how many times you received that. 77. One More Second Create the habit of looking Spend one more second decision. Delay something. and open some unexpected little. at things for one more second. before taking an important Time will follow your intention window for you. Slow it down a

78. Understand What People Want From You What you can do is not always what people want from you. Clearing that confusion alone could bring an immense relief to your life. You don’t have to immediately provide what they’re wanting, but if you do, you may have some big surprises. 79. Break An Old Bad Habit Breaking a bad habit is difficult. But breaking an old bad habit will free an incredible amount of time into your life. Quit smoking or stop talking on the phone for hours. Whatever you break, it will change your life for the best.

80. Stop Complaining Complaining is like an open invitation for troubles. The more you complain about something, the more of that something you invite into your life. Cut it out. You don’t get any comfort out of complaining, only troubles. 81. Reject What You Don’t Want It’s so simple, yet so underrated. Society wants us to complain even when we don’t really like stuff. Like forcing us to smile when we don’t find it funny. Allow yourself to walk away from something you don’t like. Just do it! 82. Being Is Better Than Having Too much and too often we shape our life’s fulfillment degree to the amount we possess. The fundamental mistake. If you’re doing it, stop it right now. You’re not what you’re having. Being is so much better than having. 83. Listen To Your Critics This one might be difficult in the beginning but once you get used to it it’s fantastic. You may find out a lot of stuff about yourself that you didn’t know about. You think you are one kind of person, but others may disagree. 84. Don’t Take It Personally Never. Your world is shaped by your reaction to things, not by the things themselves. Don’t get upset, don’t think that somebody knows you enough to make right assumptions about you. Acknowledge and move on.

85. Laugh This time is not about smiling. It’s about laughing. Don’t you ever miss another opportunity to laugh. Especially at yourself. The longer your laughing sessions, the shorter your misery ones. Looks like a nice deal, isn’t it? 86. Go With Passion Don’t let your rational mind stand in the way of your passion. If you found – or at least felt, even occasionally – something that thrills you, you’re there. You don’t need a confirmation on this from anybody. Go with your passion. 87. Trust Your Emotions Don’t underestimate your emotions. Or overestimate them. Your emotions are your feed-back system and for that they are very important. Trying to ignore your emotions is like depriving yourself from lights in a car running in the middle of the night. 88. Live It Like A Holiday Ever observed how nice you feel during your holiday? How light, joyful and authentic? Everything is just wonderful. Well, you are on a continuous holiday here. It starts with your birth and end with your death. Live it like a holiday. 89. Make A Story Out Of It Do you like a good story? I love it. Make everything in your life story-worthwhile. Make it as it would be a fantastic journey and you will be at all time the observer, the hero and the narrator. Create the story of your life.

90. Stop Being A Follower Admiring is nice. But being admired is even better. Stop trying to fit in other people’s shoes. Find your own path. If that means breaking up completely your lifestyle, so be it. If you are “like” somebody else you can’t be “like” yourself anymore. 91. Watch Your Beliefs Your beliefs are not you. But they are shaping your life constantly. You have the power to change them at any point in your existence. But in order to do that, you must first start to observe them, to isolate them, to accept them. 92. Stop Lying To others and to yourself. Although it might ease a complicated situation, a lie is not good in the long run. The trick is that if you’re telling a lie you’re altering your reality. And a distorted reality will be impossible to handle. 93. Stop Reacting To Stuff And start acting on stuff. Initiate things. Start projects. Predict situations and be there before the hurricane hits. Reacting to stuff is a victim paradigm. Stop being a victim and start acting. Create your life instead of being the creation of others. 94. Live Today Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Go for what you can do today and leave yesterday behind for good. It’s not here anymore. And tomorrow doesn’t even exist yet, so why bother. All you have is today. Don’t waste it.

95. Expect The Unexpected If there’s something unusual that happens to you, go for it. The unexpected is a signal of an opportunity. It will not always be nice, this unexpected, but whenever it’s around, magical things are happening. Wait for it. Praise for it. 96. Enjoy Like being in joy. Like giving permission to yourself to extract joy from any situation you’re in. Even if it’s bad. Or especially if it’s bad. Joy is everywhere, you just have to let it manifest through you. Don’t resist joy. Don’t reject it. 97. Make Your Own Rules And stick with them. Go for what works for you, not the others. Go for what you want, not the others. Including me. Make your own system and be proud of it. You may upset some people in the process, but hey, that’s life. 98. Love Unconditionally. Totally. Constantly. Restlessly. Love is the only glue that keeps your life running. You were born out of love and you carry it deep down in your being. Love is never about the others, it’s about you. 99. Get Rid Of Labels Things are what they are. Don’t use labels anymore, use directly the things. Your notion of “right” and “wrong” are nothing but labels. In a different country your “right” might be “wrong”. Don’t charge yourself with this unneeded burden.

100. No Regrets Regretting something is another form of not accepting reality. What you can do about it now? It’s gone. It doesn’t exist anymore. Focus on what you can change: your present moment. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Now. Live now.

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