Lisa? Is...is that you?

"

And with those words from my daddy, my world crumbled. I hadn't seen my dad in almost three years. Three long, lonely, painful years.

When mom died, dad took to drinking and vegging out in front of the big screen. I couldn't stay any longer in this hick town. Just having turned 18, there was a whole world out there for me to conquer. I had talent, looks and ambition, and my drama teacher said I could really be someone, someday.

After selling my car, I took the train to New York City, along with my two suitcases packed with everything that was dear to me. The Big Apple. That was the day I met Xavier. That was the day my new life began. My new life. It lasted three years.

At first Xavier was wonderful. He helped me find a place to stay with a nice girl named Patti D'Arbanville, and he'd take me to dinner and we'd talk about my plans to be an actress or Broadway performer. Sometimes Patti and her boyfriend Cat and Xavier and I would go out together, take walks in Central Park, or go walking down through the theatre district. Xavier, or "X" as I called him, told me about a new play that was going to be casting soon called Hair. The Vietnam War was heavy on everyone's minds as nightly news broadcasts showed Americans dying in some far away land. Hair was a rancor of the social issues of the day, and I was excited by it.

X and I walked one morning over to the Biltmore Theatre on 47th where tryouts were being held. While waiting for my turn, I learned that some famous people had performed here. The dreamy Robert Redford was in Barefoot in the Park here. I saw him in the movie of the same name. Dreamy, I thought, with a capital D.

"Li," X said as he shook me a bit, "they're calling your name!" He always called me Li.

X told me that she was in charge of a group of prostitutes. I knocked on the door. You might think that becoming a prostitute was difficult. and my aspirations. Went to some chick named Diane Keaton. Jobs were scarce. I didn't get the part." One day I showed up at her apartment. and I needed cash soon. . come in. it wasn't the beautiful woman who answered the door. before I interrupted. and I guess it showed on my face." Her smile was disarming. I knew this one woman that X had mentioned. X was my world. of course. where I came from. and he was helping me pay the rent. My money had long run out. my name is similar to X's. Within a few minutes she had me talking about my relationship with X.Giddy. Please. I knew I was gonna' be a star. Like Mom. "I know. I ran up to the front of the stage and waited to read my lines. "her girls" he had said. A buzzing sound allowed me to open the door. but the person never stopped. but X sensed my mild outrage and moral indignation. "Li. She was called a madam." she started. X was my number one fan. I explained through the intercom that X was my friend. "Well Lisa. I tried to act cool about it. and so did X. you've lived a sheltered life. Don't be too judgmental. I didn't count on X dying. buying me food. I took the elevator to the 15th floor. I wasn't sure what I expected. Didn't matter. But in the end. The police report said he was hit by a car. rent was expensive. And now he too was gone. Hesitantly. there really wasn't any other options. but. We both got a kick out of that for years." I was shocked for a moment by her name. You would be correct. "Lisa? My name is Xaviera.

and some intimate apparel. the sound of his shoes echoing off the glass-enclosed walkway.. No address. she had given me three hundred dollars. and some other stuff. Li."Please. "Oh God. I knew I had come to the right place. But most important of all. "Li. It didn't matter. heels. Self-consciously I tried to smooth down my clingy. things! She had given me some sex toys. Several hours later I left her apartment with a bag of. I didn't want to take it at first. the damned platform heels causing me to wobble a bit. Xaviera Hollander. tell me. several dress... my low-cut front showing off the little bit of tits that I had. and here came my father. dropping the small satchel he was carrying and rushing towards me.Lisa. "All right.. After a moment. saying that she trusted me. no business name. It just said her name. . well. what little of it there was. I suppose. I joined her. call me 'Li'. My john was only a dozen or so feet from me. I stood up unsteadily. I took her business card and put it in the back of my socks drawer. and had a phone number on it. Why do you want to be a hooker?" When she saw the look on my face she burst into laughter. there was no way I was not gonna' be pegged by Dad as a hooker.oh thank God!" My dad shook off the arm of the woman who holding his and began running towards me. Xaviera called me two days later and said she had my first assignment.. I didn't know what to do. There was no hiding it. and that this would cover the rent for a while and that I could pay her back in time. dark blue dress. Guess it was better that way. With my six-inch fuck-me heels. and my dress that barely covered my coochie.Li! Now. When I got back to the apartment I went right to my room to hide everything. but she insisted.." I told her. and started to shake.

I didn't use a stage name. and drinks were ordered. I drank several glasses of wine. but my glass kept getting filled. I can't remember how many. When the cab would turn a corner. I didn't care. and then back to their hotel room. It was fun. well. but I laughed when Lulu laughed and otherwise tried to act sophisticated. There wasn't enough room so Lulu and I had to sit on George and Tex's laps. and had a keen wit about her. While George was discussing with Tex which wine they should order. Winston. because I don't remember too much. we'd start to fall and the men would hold us so we wouldn't. He smelled nice." She went on to tell me that Lulu would be the girl. was from Texas. To say I liked Lulu from the start would be accurate." I whispered back "Okay. Afterwards. We were seated at a table that was set off a bit from the others. Lulu got a manhattan. giving us some privacy.you'll be going out with another girl. She told me she took the stage name from the actress in To Sir With Love. they were gentlemen. Getting out of the cab. taking the elevator up to the room. George. I was told by Xaviera to wear the red dress. who said everyone called him "Tex". of course. Lulu leaned towards me and whispered "start with the silverware furthest from your plate. I thought I would be more nervous. and was some oil baron or something. that I would like her and she'd watch over me since this was my first time." Dinner was very nice. arising when we walked in. It was a little hard for me to follow the conversation. I wasn't. I'm pretty sure I had more alcohol than I was used to. even getting undressed. Tex was a nice man and he bought me a nice dinner and he was rubbing my body nicely and saying "Pretty Li". I felt a bit overwhelmed when she told me we were going to The Four Seasons for dinner. we rode in a cab to a hotel. Lulu must have noticed me looking down at all of the silverware. the man who would be "seeing" Lulu. The two men. I remember Tex kissing me. was a vice-president of a large bank. I asked for one too. . I did. one of them kissing the back of my hand even. I think it was nice. She was dressed to kill. You'll be meeting two men for dinner.

. It felt really. rocking gently back and forth. I looked down and then I giggled. The money was pretty good. I'd get a call. She didn't look happy. She looked to be about Daddy's age. First Tex. "Honey. I would get paid. He was a nice man. Lulu followed me in and held me. Then they would trade places. I think. right there for the whole world to see. his nose. Well. The woman that he was with was now standing close by and staring. really nice. I liked Cat. but he turned and left. licking me. then get screwed. I must have fallen down at some point because me butt stung quite a bit. George said he wanted a go at it. I could see him. not screwed screwed. I've been so worried about you. Maybe it was the . At some point I must have drifted off to sleep because it was Lulu who woke me later on. dress up. My life started to blur somewhat over the next few months. After a while she just gave up asking. Where have you been honey? Why didn't you call?" He was speaking fast and then he looked at what I was wearing. Patti was happy that I had a job. It was later on that Lulu told me that the gentlemen had anal sex with me.it's is cold out" and he took of his jacket and put it around me. I ran to the bathroom and vomited. but I do remember laying on a bed and he was down between my legs. She said it went on for over half an hour. "Lisa. full bush made it look like he had a beard! I really thought that was funny! I remember him getting on top of me. His eyes darkened.I guess I sorta' drifted off a bit. humming a tune I didn't recognize. Lulu said that they had me on my hands and knees and that one would be in my mouth while the other was in my butt. I spent less time with her as her career started to develop. and then when he told George how tight I was. although I was pretty evasive in telling her what I was doing. and then my dark. look what you are wearing. telling me it was time to get dressed and go. go to dinner. his eyes. Daddy gave me a big bear hug. I silently waved my john off with pleading eyes. but he was kinda' quiet around me. and he made me feel good..

well. but spent a lot of money too. grass for sure. I don't remember all of the sex that I've had. some LSD. "What did you call me?" I said. I know. too many pills. on partying. Li. and once with three women. my blood ran cold.it takes all kinds. It was at a midtown hotel and I was told that the guy wanted to wear a mask. Yuk. I made a lot of money. he talked to me more than he had ever done. "You said Li. Other times. men and women. Too much booze. I saw one just the other day. But. "Honey.drugs I was taking. Old Spice. "Lisa. He got up and left." As the faint scent of the cologne on his coat washed over me." Daddy looked at me with sad eyes." he'd tell me. but he said that I had inspired him to write a song about me. on drugs. Men. what's wrong?" he asked. Some of the time the sex was great. this is Li.. I had sex with hundreds of people over the next few years. . taking a step back. not Lisa. for a couple of hundred dollars. several men at a time. I moved out and got my own apartment. I don't remember all of it exactly. why not? So I did it and it was fine except I didn't like his cologne. Old Spice.. so I'd whack him harder and then push the toy deeper as he howled. and for me to spank him and then push a rubber sex toy into his ass while reaching around to stroke him. my daughter. women. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I cried and then offered him head. One day when he was at the apartment. on clothes. In fact. I know. I do remember some of the weird guys. Pills mostly. "Hit me harder.

Yes I did." ."Yes.