DECISION POINT #1: WHAT IS MY IDENTITY?
What are my goals?
GOAL: To find out what you would be, to decide what your objectives in life are, and be able to talk naturally and passionately about them. Your ULTIMATE goal is to get to the point when you can talk to women about your path and not care whether or not they join you. POWER RESOURCE: The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida In our first lesson, I want you to ask yourself, “What are my goals?” In any meeting with women, it is crucial that you establish yourself as a man with dreams, aspirations, and objectives. • • • David Deida, the author of the fascinating book, “The Way of the Superior Man”, argues for choosing a “life purpose”. That means deciding on a direction for your life, and fusing everything you do into that direction.3 Living a life with purpose is SO much easier than a life without one
"Everything in your life, from your diet to your career, must be aligned with your purpose if you are to act with coherence and integrity in the world. If you know your purpose, your deepest desire, then the secret of success is to discipline your life so that you support your deepest purpose and minimize distractions and detours." -David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man • For example, if your goal is to become, say, a world-renown DJ, every aspect of your life should feed into that: your friends, your hobbies, your wardrobe, your job, what you read, where you go--everything should point towards music as a way of life for you. When you establish where you want your life to go, it becomes that much easier to get it there. Everything makes more sense, and you have a path that you are committed to. Girls LOVE to follow people on paths. As one relationship guru said, “When a guy is doing his own thing, or on his own path, and then he’s including others on it, it’s completely different when he’s trying to fit in or trying to be with other people on their paths.” Would you rather follow, or BE followed? I think you know the answer. Girls LOVE to follow guys who are successful around. Just ask any rock singer or businessman. When you have a deep-rooted purpose, you don't need women as much as they need you. YOU get your pick of women; they have to fight to earn you! -2-
Important questions to ask yourself include: What kind of career do I want? If you’re doing something you have absolutely no interest in, take the necessary steps to get out of it and into something you believe in and enjoy! You’ll do yourself and the company a favor. What kind of interests do I want to pursue? You can’t please everyone; you’ll never be into the same things as all the girls you meet. So decide what you really like: maybe it’s sports, you want to know everything there is to know about baseball or football; maybe it’s travel, you want to know everything you can get your hands on about foreign countries; maybe it’s even woodwork or some other trade, you want to be known as an expert in your field. Decide what your interests are, commit yourself to them, and be proud! What kind of friends fit into my path? What kind of people do NOT fit into my path? Decide who supports you and who it is that deters you from your path. There will always be guys and girls who try to disabuse you of your hobbies, tell you your interests are stupid and boring. But if your interests are something you believe in, you’re better off cutting the detractors from your life, than what moves you. Or at least limiting your presence around them. Where do I want to be in 10 years time? This is not only a good question to ask yourself, but to ask women. Don’t worry about your answer, but do be prepared that women will ask you something like this as a test. So it’s good to know what you want so you have a ready answer. In what country or city can I best achieve my goals? Sometimes the country or city you’re in now isn’t the best place to achieve what you want, or to find the people who will support you in it. I know several people who could not find happiness in their home country or town, so moved on to other places and found happiness they never knew possible. Oftentimes you just can’t find the right friends somewhere, so it’s time to move on. Don’t be afraid to give a new city or nation a shot. • • Once you have solid answers to these questions, it’s up to you to pursue them. Start by believing in yourself, and believing in your goals.
EXERCISE Write down 5 goals you would like to achieve over the next 5 years. Decide on one PURPOSE you have for your life. These goals should all work towards achieving your purpose. Write down 12 goals you would like to achieve in the next year. Make one for each months. Make a month-by-month checklist to see if you achieve your goals. -3-
by David Deida Secrets to Becoming the Alpha Male. drifting.Quote to End On: "Without a conscious life-purpose a man is totally lost. impotent existence. adapting to events rather than creating events. and is determined to get it. Without knowing his life-purpose a man lives a weakened. your attraction meter…has gone up! Recommended Reading The Way of the Superior Man. Right away.com
. or prone to mechanical and disinterested sex. you won't have any problem meeting women. by Carlos Xuma: Dating Dynamics: http://www." -David Deida. The Way of the Superior Man I guarantee you that when you present women with a man who knows what he wants.datingdynamics. perhaps eventually becoming even sexually impotent.
that’s what they become to a girl. without giving a girl to discuss what interests HER. As always. so too will they feel those emotions. and afraid of talking about his interest in fear of being rejected. our smooth-as-silk ladies’ man. girls won’t be interested. and especially how you say it. Yellow needs to overcome his fear of people thinking his interests are good enough. is that when you treat your interests like no big deal. Red doesn’t talk like a player. He needs to learn to listen. like they’re “no big deal”. Blue downplays everything he does as sucking. Here are some problems our Reservoir Dogs make: • Mr. Pink is too shy to talk about his interests. Brown. are like sponges. He needs to talk about his interests in a more controlled. who only wants to say enough in a lady’s pants. But if you display negativity and apathy. Mr. Like Mr. Brown knows his interests. he gives a negative image to his interests. like Mr. and people in general really. Mr. they soak in what you say. intimate. but does so in very boring ways. He forgets that girls. Mr. Mr. is full of himself and speaks as if he is the king and girls are lucky to hear him. Mr.
So of course this brings us to Mr. they will feel that from you. suave manner. about your interests. He doesn’t realize that if he can’t talk about himself. he talks feebly about them. Talk slowly and calmly. Yellow is afraid of talking girls. Lean back like you've got all the time in the world. You will learn how to use your interests to make yourself more attractive to women. The problem. He gets drunk and raves about how great he is. Orange. of course. convincingly and comfortably. “Oneitis” very much needs to learn better communication skills. girls KNOW he’s full of crap. and makes a point of discussing them. and ends up looking like a loser. confident manner. Describe your interest with passion in a deep. 1. He stumbles in his attempt to impress her. "just-between-you-and-me" voice. If you display energy and enthusiasm. You know the guy: the one who goes into a big monologue about all the great things he does. -5-
. Pink. like Mr. Mr. White is so fascinated with finding Ms. and to speak more eloquently and persuasively. They’re as good as you make them. and not let people deter you from what moves you. Don't talk like you're trying to impress. he strikes a balance. who positions himself as someone who’s not GOOD enough to get in a lady’s pants.2. Blue. Right that he tries too hard to impress her with his interests. Mr. And since people feel out a person by how a person talks. so he can talk about his interests in a relaxed. When he does discuss them with a girl.
What are my interests and dislikes?
GOAL: To be able to talk. but he also doesn’t want to talk like a geek. Mr. Red.
and wait for her to ask you something. 2. no matter how trivial they may seem. you can answer cockily. Make Sure to Listen to HER interests. it always works! EXERCISE Take a few minutes to write down YOUR interests and what YOUR ambition or ambitions are. and how you will use them in your path to excellence. After THAT. But treat your hobbies like something great. so will other people. 4. 3. Don't be quick to interject when a girl describes her interests and
experiences. Likewise. emotions are literally contagious. and knowing your interests (and dislikes) will come naturally. so wait a bit. then compliment her. So if you treat your interests as stupid. "So what are you into/What kind of music do you listen to/What do you like?" To this. The more important each interest is to you. Simple things like. Don't say anything. "Yeah. it's not all about you. This will likely lead her to ask." Loosen her up with humor. "Besides high-tech interactive porn? Hmmm." by Dr. don't treat your hobbies like they're no big deal.A man on a purpose does not need to impress others. Let her speak. Tell her you love traveling. Leave Her Hanging! If you like traveling and have climbed the Great Wall or skydived over Sydney. show some interest (but not too much). Then write down their importance on a scale of 1-5.. Decide why you are interested in these interests. Yes. Alex Benzer
. Your attraction meter has just…gone up! Recommended Resources "The Tao of Dating.. Remembers. there's a system that makes people match the speaker's vibe. the more passionately you should talk to women about them. don't tell her that all at once! Girls LOVE to be led on. Others need to impress him. List at least five. but bait her into wanting to know more. I'll have to show you some photos of my travels sometime" or "I have this great video of me skydiving" are sure to make her want to see you again. So figure out your life purpose. wait a few seconds. Give her the "Colbert Chin" (see picture). and they will too.
. Either way. why are you worrying?!? Here’s where our Reservoir Dogs get it wrong. what matters is not what your answer is. and his capacity to share that truth in love with her. but how you answer it. Brown thinks highly enough of his career. some say it’s just an innocent question.3.Your woman is testing you because she loves you. 2 Mr. She wants to feel your love. Some say it’s a test." is asking yourself if this girl fits into your choice. He loses out by not talking about it more. 3 Mr. White. But. independent of her needs. not you impress her. she can trust you. like a big deal. you will fail. tries too hard to use his career to impress ladies. but bores girls with all the details they couldn’t care less about. She wants to feel your truth. It’s inevitable: a girl is going to ask you what you do for a living. For consistency.. Then she can relax and surrender into the polarity of man and woman. This turns girls off in a hurry. Everything a girl wants. in constant search of “The One”. And she wants to feel that your truth and love are stronger than the barbs she can throw at you. If you treat the question like a test. "It never ends. There’s a right way and a wrong way to discuss one’s career. even when she is complaining--especially when she is complaining. Pink is shy about talking to his career. THEN." -David Deida. Brown does it the wrong way. and confident in your choices. He fashions himself as a provider. A woman will always test her man for the pleasure of feeling his strength in loving. and unfortunately. if you are prepared and treat the girl like she has to impress YOU.. you won't just pass: you will show a girl you are in control. his capacity to transcend nuisance. The Way of the Superior Man The other key to passing a "test. Mr. and talks as if he's trying to impress women with his plans for a family. Even though advertising is an interesting enough career. Does it matter if you impress her or not? Does she truly fit into your life purpose? If not. we’ll say they’re all fairly successful advertising executives: 1 Mr.
What Do I Do?
GOAL: To be able to comfortably and convincingly talk about what you do for a living and career. his persistence in his own truth. he thinks girls won’t enjoy it and refrains from saying much about it.
Blue always puts down his career. Mr. Orange is the typical drunk businessman who thinks he’s the shit. or just make their jobs sound so boring or so depressing. Girls respect him more for sticking to what he believes in. girls actually are mostly interested in advertising workers. The job gives him the income and knowledge he needs to make his dream of becoming a travel writer come true. He loses out in the process. Some people may think it’s boring. He tries too hard to impress.4 Mr. why else would shows like Oprah and magazines like Women's Weekly be so popular? These media appeal to women's sense of -9-
. Red always goes with the path. No matter what the question. But when you know how to describe your career right. you don’t repel—you attract. no matter what it is. If he has to decide between his path and a girl who thinks his path is a joke. he knows it's part of their instinctive drive for a man who can provide and protect. Our fearless Mr. than a guy who works in a big office with no purpose at all. is interesting. 5 Mr. They either talk too much about their careers. Mr. You can see what these guys do wrong. Mr. it’s bound to repel girls. He doesn't care what she thinks of his answer. They will be more attracted to a gas station attendant who dreams of owning his own company. Red doesn't get angry at women for testing him. some people may think it’s capitalist smug. 6 Mr. He EXPECTS the question and answers it calmly. Mr. Yellow is afraid to talk about his career. 2. Red doesn't care what people think of his answer. but HE believes it’s fun and interesting. He knows that women love a man with potential. He wards off girls with his depressing talk. FUNDAMENTAL RULE When a man doesn't care what a woman thinks of his answer. Instead of badmouthing his job and co-workers. the way he describes it is as a stepping stone in his life purpose. Red knows how to do it right: 1. 3. he should discuss them with pride and energy. and conveys his interest suitably. He describes his job as a part of something bigger: his PATH. Doesn’t matter if he’s not fully satisfied with the job. 4. in the process not impressing at all. Red never lets the woman assume more power than him. Women love to give people a chance. for fear of a girl rejecting his career as not good enough. but he fears they’ll think his job is boring. saying all the bad things about it he can think of. Again. However they do it. He’s convinced his career. she will be much more attracted to him. too little.
So appeal to it yourself by showing that what you feel you're capable of! 5.. Red turns the table on her and makes her have to defend herself from being a gold-digger! Lady (testing Mr. He also doesn't avoid it. You can let me know how much YOU make. he pauses a second (to regain control and not give her too much power--see my lesson on Listening).. Red doesn't make a big. When a woman asks. I don't date golddiggers. This is when Mr.
Attraction in Action!
Here's how Mr. Red: <pauses. Just like that." by David DeAngelo "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You.<with a grin> Eventually a woman will test you with how much you make. and a woman will be more interested--even if you work as a clerk at Wal-Mart.. Mr... nervous deal of saying what he does for a living. I'm an advertising executive. He doesn't rush his voice. <grins> Now you know more about how to handle the inevitable question about what you do for a living." by Leil Lowndes .sympathy and nurturing. then explains slowly what he does. <power pause> Love it. Red: Right now. I really can't be rushed into a relationship that quickly. gently. (laughs) Lady: Does that pay well? Mr. Mr. I'm up to 70 countries.<lifts his chin. Red: Why. it does. your attraction meter…has gone up! Recommended Resources "The Way of the Superior Man." by David Deida "Double Your Dating. do you want to marry me already? Look. but I dream bigger. Red handles the ladies: Lady: So what you do for a living? Mr. this stimulates curiosity> Lady: Oh yeah? What's your dream? Mr. Talk slowly. doesn't rush to answer>To be a successful travel writer and see every country on the planet. Red): So how much do you make doing advertising. Red: It's okay. Besides. knowing that a fast explanation makes him look nervous and full of crap. He knows that as long as you answer their questions slowly and with confidence. Mr. Red: <slowly but passionately>Yeah. sounds interesting. only 155 to go. I just met you. Lady: I'm not a gold-digger! I just. Lady: Wow.. Red: When you write with as much passion and knowledge as I do. Mr. you'll be okay.10 -
say. is the way to get girls interested in you—and drive up the price for your product!
Let’s go through some common unique identifiers: • • Being a foreigner is one of the easiest ways to market yourself as unique. . If you’re from the South and enjoy your cowboy image. Take the time to do that now. a UN peacekeeper or professional daredevil. If you have an accent.” -Epictetus When it comes to interacting with girls. YOU. Let your wardrobe speak your identity. or speak a foreign language. some habit or behavior that you have that no one else does. or distinguishable eyebrows (like Jack Nicholson’s) or great teeth. and this gets girls crazy curious. Then do what you have to do. but would like to be.4. • • • • By writing down what makes you unique. what makes you. There's a lot of competition out there. just like that. like. And if you’re involved in something that most people aren’t. girls will notice you and be very curious." Showing what you have that no one else does. you MARKET yourself. and five reasons why they should "buy" you. Let your clothes speak for you. your heritage can go a long way towards marketing you. even if not fluently. the Caribbean. a body mark. unusual clothing you like to wear.11 -
. Likewise. let them know about it! Finally. Believe me. it pays to have an identity: who you are. wear a cowboy hat and boots. your career. They could be anything: the way you laugh. to make your identity your stepping-stone to female success. what makes you unique. say. such as base-jumping or piloting. market the hell out of this distinguished position. A unique body mark or style.
What Makes Me Unique?
GOAL: To determine and share what makes you so unique “First say to yourself what you would be. write down five (5) things that make you unique. foreign jewelry. such as a crazy hairstyle. and then do what you have to do. EXERCISE On a sheet of paper. really anything. If you’re into a particular culture. If you’re. A really unique job or interest. so you have to set yourself apart to "sell. I know a guy who casually mentions that he’s related to a famous musician (which is true). even if you were born in the same country. EVERYONE has something that distinguishes them from everyone else. or dark skin. You show them the product that is you. wear cool necklaces and shirts.
In his case. Pink has a lot to be proud of. he would brag about it constantly. Blue. so she’ll pounce on him with questions. don’t talk about them at all. Even if there are downsides to your occupation or hobby. Mr. then it will be no big deal for the woman. goes a long way towards achieving your goals. the people he works with. when I’m not at my day job. Red finds a happy medium. don’t talk about them until you really know a girl. not too many people can stake claim to being a professional bungee-jumper. Mr. like Mr. so he says nothing. he tells her and doesn’t put it down. But you don’t want to be shy about it.
So how to talk about yourself? Our fearless Mr. Knowing who you are. the resident grouch. Many people sacrifice their . and doesn’t want to be like Mr. humble answer that invites curiosity. But if he makes it sound like it’s the biggest deal in the world—then the girl will be so off-put that she won’t give a damn. QUOTABLE QUOTE “Your identity and your success go hand in hand. Find out what little habit or action makes you unique. So how do you showcase something unique like. This is not the way to do it. and build on it. or can do great imitations. that sort of thing. If Mr. don’t paint what you do or are interested in. He knows that if he makes it sound like no big deal. Orange. Red isn’t shy about what he does.12 -
. so he gives a shrewd. in negative terms. I travel around the world bungee jumping. Remember: your identity tells people who you are. who travels around the world. Red says something like. girls won’t know unless you tell them. “Well. But he thinks a girl ought to do all the talking. to the point where the achievement is no longer impressive but annoying. Mr. Pink. Blue were a professional bungee jumper.” Naturally.Some people have a funny laugh. it’s much more than “alright” for the girl. Mr. might do something really cool and interesting. he comes off as insecure and arrogant—not desirable characteristics. Red knows…that a girl is inevitably going to ask him what he does for a living. It’s alright. but talk about it like it sucks. Orange. Finally. by getting drunk and raving all about himself. In the cases of a unique interest or job. that you’re a professional bungee-jumper (unlikely as it may be)? • In the case of Mr. So Mr. the spectators who ask for his autograph. he’d just talk about all the negative aspects of it: the long hours traveling. Or better yet. people gravitate much more towards positive-thinking people than negative ones. and what you want to be. say. And that includes yourself.
" by Anthony Robbins
. and your attraction meter will go up…just like that! Recommended Resources "Tao of Dating." by Dr.13 -
.” -Lila Swell Get your identity right. And that's why they're not successful. Alex Benzer "Unlimited Power.identities by not doing what they really want to do.
fashions.5. But you do have to pay attention to how you present yourself. competition. And you want to do the same--you want women to see you and KNOW that they should "buy" you.14 -
. and colors to signify to women that you are a true catch! Do looks matter? Yes..)
Burgundy . struggle. Do they matter as much as we are led to believe? No! The good news is. What you wear can determine how well you score. “It is the impulse towards active doing.”
Great Red Clothes to Attract Women: • • • Red V-neck or crew neck sweaters A sturdy red windbreaker A red suit or dress shirt (though red pants should ONLY be used if you really want to peacock and be noticed! Don't wear it if you can't handle people staring at you. you don't have to look like Brad Pitt to get the women of Brad Pitt. wearing the right styles.. and often those aren't the highest quality anyway (keep this in mind when comparing yourself to the alpha male jocks!). people go for products that aren't the flashiest. masculinity. Red it “impact of the will” or “force of will” as distinct from the green “elasticity of the will. eroticism and enterprising productivity.” The person who favors red “wants his own activities to bring him intensity of experience and fullness of living. towards sport. So pay attention! COLORS THAT ATTRACT WOMEN'S ATTENTION: Red • • The color of blood. the flame of the human spirit. Sure.
How Do I Want to Present Myself
GOAL: To dress to impress. conquest. Remember: Dating is like marketing. But products with good design catch people's attention.
and send a great message to women. Blue • • • • One of the best colors Blue clothing suggests a more trustworthy and warm personality.com says. consider a darker.15 -
." "When worn properly. Can also make you look more serious and intellectual. Doesn't hurt to show girls you support the fight against cancer. Though visually stimulating. Match just about everything. or if you're in more formal attire. T
Try out some dark blue jeans. simplicity and great versatility. a nice. Black • • • My personal favorite color. it also conveys anxiety and alertness. Only good yellow accessory to wear is a Lance Armstrong bracelet.If red is too bright and powerful for you."
Yellow • • • • One of the worst colors to wear! The color of fear. . "A man wearing black suggests elegance. • • This color stands for passion and high spirituality. whether formal slacks or informal jeans. authority and power. Burgundy clothes are also a sign of higher status and advocate luxury
Great Burgundy Clothes to Attract Women: • • • Dressy burgundy lace-up shoes Matching leather belt Burgundy button-down-shirt (short-sleeve or long)
I highly recommend you try Burgundy out. black clothing also conveys neatness. stylish blue buttoned shirt. yet equally provocative color: burgundy. As Askmen.
a well-tailored white suit will set you apart in any season In colder season. it's too risky. and beauty. a pair of clean. Again. The color signifies virtue and can give you an extremely clean appearance. love.16 -
. and looks very preppy. Work on your tan!
Great White Clothes to Attract Women: • • • • Green • • • The color of money! Relaxing color that makes you look compassionate Careful: green is also the color of "elasticity"--makes you look less dominant and more lenient of unacceptable behavior ("nice guys finish last") In the summer. or a white polo. sparkling white linen pants Additionally. White clothing can also point towards a higher social status. It's . Unfortunately. a forest green polo shirt looks great (particularly with a tan)
Colors to Use in Limited Doses: • Pink. and mystery. Purple stands for powerful things: royalty. Use especially in warm and formal settings. it's also featured prominently in the gay community. a trendy white jacket makes you look great Look for a striped linen short-sleeve collar shirt in the warmer seasons
Great Green Clothes to Attract Women: • • • A green windbreaker Forest green V-neck or crew neck wool sweater In warmer months.White • • • • Looks GREAT if you are dark-skinned. Think white tennis shirt. white shirts look best against dark skin. Pink symbolizes cheeriness. Good things in life. not so great if you are pale. but are they what a beautiful woman to think of you? I don't recommend wearing pink. Purple. magic.
with red and burgundy most alluring to females.html How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. and burgundy are the winning colors to wear.17 -
. stay away from orange. bright color that has mostly positive associations.com/fashion/fashiontip/49_fashion_advice.
In short. and one that I wouldn't recommend. so why bother? • Orange.a risky color to wear.askmen. but if you don't like lots of attention. Orange symbolizes vitality and endurance. an orange button-down shirt can work. Try them out! Recommended Resources http://www. by Leil Lowndes
. black. You definitely can't wear purple pants or shorts. blue. It's a fun. red. But how do you wear orange? In the summer. and the shirts are dubious.
"I will get beautiful women. You get what you give. state. Which will you choose? If you want to develop internal game so strong that women will be attracted to you just by your air of confidence and self-assuredness.or you can find happiness from within. • If you want to be rich. • You also have to state these in the present tense. obsessed. in fact. "Don't think about Pamela Anderson naked right now. • So always state positives. That means if you give women and your friends a man who's broken." are you really not going to think about her? Of course you will think about her naked! That just shows how the unconscious mind works." and you WILL.you'll get nothing back. Women won't be attracted to you. Say." • Notice something interesting: the unconscious mind can't process negatives.18 -
.. and in the first . it's time to start developing the 3 C's: • • • Comfort Confidence Control
How do you develop these things? Read on. You can choose to let having a particular woman rule your life.
3 Ways to Making Yourself Self-Dependent. and it will do it anyway.. make it a reality..
Believe in Yourself
GOAL: Develop a rock-solid belief in yourself that women find irresistible. say. needy and insecure about things... systematically stating it to the unconscious mind will. • Tell your mind not to do something. So if you want to become successful with women. and the whole attraction process becomes a lot more difficult! Independence and your own internal frame of reference are ways of saying that you control your destiny and do not let other people control your emotions. "I am successful and wealthy. If I tell you. friends won't enjoy your company. "Creating Your Own Emotional Sphere"
1.6. "I am attractive and successful with women." The unconscious mind processes this and believes it.. AFFIRMATIONS. • To train the unconscious mind. • While you may consciously not believe it at the moment. you have to consciously state what you want to be true.
so this WILL happen. • If you want to be successful with women. I highly recommend you read "The Tao of Dating. • Imitate successful men." -Henry Ford 2. Mr. Alex Benzer. you have to first BE: Say that you ARE successful with women. ACTING THE PART. Unlike Mr. it becomes natural
Also remember the 6 Ways to Show a Woman You're Emotionally Secure:
1." or.. talk the way they do. no NEGATIVE statements.. For more on this. eventually. • Picture what success is like. who are either too shy or too scared to talk about themselves much. You've already said you're attractive to beautiful women.• • •
person. • This is the "Be" in the BE-DO-HAVE paradigm of The Tao of Dating. VISUALIZATION. But say. Tell yourself you can't get hot women." B By making your goal a present reality. and not fun to be around.19 -
. HAVE--actually have a hot woman by your side. All this does is tell a girl you're high maintenance. • Next DO--go out and get beautiful women. "You WILL get beautiful women. This will come with time. If you are attractive to women. only positive ones. Never talk down yourself. Do NOT say. Big lesson: Words have power. Yellow and Mr. • Finally.you're right. "I attract beautiful women. and you literally can't. • Those are the pillars of success. and FEEL the success. 3. Remember." by Dr. 2.
"Whether you believe you can or believe you can't. 3. Never talk down your past girlfriends--this shows bitterness and insecurity. Visualize the reality. "I am going to get beautiful women. • Breathe in and out. walking with an extra step. like James Bond • "The best way to become successful is to imitate those who already are" • Walk the way they do. Pink. • If this means being happy with yourself. you ensure that it is a selffulfilling prophecy. insecure. visualize yourself smiling. not worrying. act like the man who women can't resist.. Don't be afraid to talk about yourself." and you will. Red .
and they actually don't want that. by Dr. In this world. Don't be what you THINK others want you to be. So empower yourself. While he is a good listener. by Ariel and Shya Kane The Tao of Dating. he is also a good talker. this does bring me to my fourth rule. And telling yourself that who you are is the best person out there. by Dr. by being yourself. Who wants that? However. Talk with passion. Just by telling a girl stories. Talk highly about your friends. Ask her questions. 5. Girls LOVE men who aren’t independent. and being damn proud of it. you're giving too much power to women. JUST BE YOURSELF. Being yourself. And you won't get any girls. and that path is full of success and happiness. When you make the subject of a conversation all about the woman. shows an independence from women. the type of person who makes YOU happy with yourself. whether interesting or not. and a person who has enjoyed life by being himself. Remember. no dependence--independence! Happiness comes from within. people will treat YOU like crap. 4. and shows that you need a girl's approval to be happy with yourself. Act like who you want to be. Alex Benzer Double Your Dating. which is to listen to the girl. Susan A. if you have love for yourself. so act like it! People with love for themselves are enthusiastic and passionate. But conversely. THAT'S a winner's game! Recommended Resources Face the Fear and Do It Anyway. Living for others is an Instant mistake. Not being yourself shows a lack of love for yourself.talks with pride about what he does. If you give out positive messages and happiness to others. who controls his situations from within. This is a great way to show happiness in yourself--by building up others! It achieves the double purpose of presenting a person who loves company. with passion and excitement. You can hear more in my lesson specifically on listening. as you heard. you ARE on a path. you'll get that back. not only do you feed her ego but also make yourself look uninteresting. which in turn makes you more attractive. Well. by David DeAngelo The Way of the Superior Man. They want a man who's in command of himself. if you talk crap about others. they want a man on a path. you get what you give. being careful not to boast but also not shying away from talking about himself.20 -
. not from outside. you are showing her that you are a fun person to be with. by David Deida The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People . 6. Jeffers Working on Yourself Doesn't Work. You are happy in your own skin. and repeat back what she said. and of showing that you're not so full of yourself that you don't appreciate other people. Asking questions and actually listening to what she says goes a long way towards showing you're not so full of yourself that you're an arrogant jerk.
and taking in a man who has unlimited potential is sometimes more attractive to them than a man who's already made it.DECISION POINT #2: WHAT DO I EXPECT FROM WOMEN
LESSONS 1 & 2 Understanding Women. women value men based on three big things:
1. on six continents. suggests that women determine a man’s worthiness based on 3 qualities: 1. Dr. Appeal to their sympathy! As you'll learn below. you're in for good. and 3. Education level 2. David Buss. Andrea P. status. women are about cooperation and socialization. Parts 1 & 2
GOAL: To learn and understand what women want and need.21 -
. 2. and 3. the second actually suggests a strong immune system. relationship expert. Women are very forgiving. Similarly. Ambition. The other cues to a man who has desirable . and use the facts to your attraction advantage The hard facts we men need to know and consider before you go on a night in the town: • According to evolutionary scientist. financial resources. women look for signs of strength: height is a bonus. Physical height. Roberts. as tall men are typical stronger. It's part of their need to form CONNECTIONS and UNDERSTANDING between people. Salary level. as long as they sense AMBITION and a POTENTIAL for financial success. in a study of over 10. If you can connect with them and reveal your emotions and goals. they will stick around even the poorest of men. They also look for wide shoulders and a narrow waist--the first suggests strength. • Is money everything? NO.000 people in 37 countries. Physically.
A man with a strong immune system actually gives off pheromones that women subconsciously smell. and broader jaws and chins. You don't have to be a dirt bag." it pays to have bad boy behaviors and characteristics. learn how to defend yourself and others. So if you're attracted to the girl with the great ass and nice breasts. we are visually attracted to women. A man who is traditionally masculine is more likely to attract us initially. You don't actually have to join the fire department or train for the NFL to attract women: simply join a gym. In short..22 -
. too! Ever get frustrated that women SAY they want nice guys. This suggests to us that women aren't attracted to firemen. but to attract women. It's part of evolutionary psychology: 'While we know at head level we want a sensitive. Those are the cues her brain needs. caring mate who will empathize with us. women want a man who looks like he can take care of her.but then don't give them the time of day compared to bad boys? There's a reason for women going for bad boys: they're more likely to protect them. The characteristics our brains look for are signs of good fertility: a narrow waist. strong mate who will give her healthy children and fight off saber-tooth tigers. would make a good mate. just show a girl you're strong and will protect her. Women are attracted to the big. but also physically attractive!).' -Paula Hall. Their brains tell them that a man who is healthy and strong. we instinctually search for purely physical characteristics.genetic qualities are thicker necks. don't feel bad--it's part of our instincts! . there's a gut instinct telling us we should go for the hairy macho bloke. This basically goes back to evolutionary psychology. to feed the babies.. and large breasts (presumably. relationship counselor for Relate • So as I explain in my lesson on "Nice Guys.
What Women Value in Men • What do men value in women most? According to these same studies. and bodybuilders just because they look good: it's actually because their brains tell them that these men would protect them from danger and provide a comfortable lifestyle. • They are programmed to look for PROVIDERS and PROTECTORS. and take care of your immune system by eating well. athletes. So pay attention to your blood pressure and muscles: not just to be healthy. child-bearing hips. wide.
on the other hand. Dr. while women never lack for something to say on dates!
Where do men go from here? There's a good side to all this: . and competing. When it comes to language and communication. who can provide a comfortable living for herself and the children. Life goes on for men. Their sex drive is very limited. For guys who are in or get into a relationship. Once this egg is fertilized. and they are far less likely to develop speech dysfunctions like slurring than men are. fighting. It also explains why we men have so many problems talking to girls. and you won't have to fear. they're stuck with a baby for nine months of pregnancy. So be a good listener. evolutionary psychologists are increasingly suggesting that there are benefits to women sleeping around. What does this mean for us men? It means you really do have to prove yourself a catch if a woman is going to risk pregnancy by sleeping with you. often with nothing said between them at all. women cheat for emotional understanding. thousands of years ago.23 -
Know the evolutionary reason for why women are reluctant to have sex with just anyone? WOMEN only release ONE egg each month. take care of your partner's emotional needs." For guys who are single. They talked with other mothers while tending the children. while men were busy hunting. Fortunately. Also remember that whereas we men cheat on our spouses mostly for physical pleasure. their brains have many more cells devoted to communication than boys. by learning my techniques. they've got us men licked. you'll separate yourself from the rest of the men out there. and watch after her and the children. for they were the mothers. it was required. Buss calls this "Mate insurance. Women have VASTLY superior communication skills: they typically begin speaking earlier than boys. This brings us to the sheer importance of COMMUNICATION with women-and not just being able to talk well. have greater vocabularies. this is great. nurturers. have a virtually limitless supply of sperm and could hypothetically father hundreds of children in those same nine months. They cheat when men don't give them the love and compassion they need. Men. be careful! You can do this by providing the things women want most: a strong man with a good immune system. Women are genetically wired to be greater communicators. and having many male partners increases the chance of her children's survival. social hosts. more lovers means more fathers. life comes to a screeching halt for women. Many of women's actions are driven by the need to protect their children. so women will gladly risk pregnancy to be with you! The good news for single men is.
and Women Can't Read Maps. and Women Can't Read Maps. without offering solutions. emotions offer occur simultaneously. Men's brains can operate separately from other brain functions. on the other hand. For more excellent information on the differences between the sexes. Nearly 75% of signals women receive from men are not from what we say. talk lots. because they will see that you are always "feeling" and "understanding" their emotions As Barbara and Allen Pease write in the excellent book. listen when a woman talks. Body Language. Importance of Emotions and Communication • Why are women so much more emotional than us men? Similar to why they are better communicators. Men can argue logic and words." by Barbara and Allen Pease. emotions are located in only the right hemisphere of the brain. It's not always easy. but the sooner you realize it.24 -
• • •
. conversation. but because she is emotionally unfulfilled. . it's important to understand WHY women get emotional. I HIGHLY recommend you pick up "Why Men Don't Listen. without getting emotions involved.The fact is. but how we say and how our bodies are positioned. whereas with women.She wants love. because the problem-solving tissues are mixed right in there with the emotion ones! Therefore. women are better communicators than men: they can read signals from body language to tone of speech that we men never even knew existed..." "A woman leaves a man not because she is unhappy with what he can provide. WHY they value relationships." Got it guys? Show love.. women will become attracted to you. find it very difficult to perform functions like problem-solving without emotions getting involved. most of all.a man needs to be romantic. romance. WHY they treasure good communication. women have many more "hot spots" for emotions: it occurs in both the left and right lobes of their brains. but also be a man: a provider and a protector. Women. and Other Communication Cues" to learn how to read and speak body language. whereas in men. If you can do this. the greater you'll succeed with women. and. Clearly body language is important! So check out my lesson on "Flirting. be romantic. then switch to spatial situations. "Why Men Don't Listen..
Quotable Quote "A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking.” Reading Resources: Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps. by Helen Fisher How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. by Barbara and Allan Pease Emotional Intelligence. by Leil Lowndes Why Men Don't Have a Clue. and Women Need More Shoes. by Barbara and Allan Pease The Anatomy of Love. but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. by Daniel Goleman
bikini models. she wants to feel that her man would be willing to sacrifice their relationship for the sake of his highest purpose. you get what you pay for. So it pays to take it a little slow. If you end up in a relationship where there is immediate chemistry. I've got a friend who only goes after 10's: strippers. Is it any wonder that he's always miserable? His choices are severely limited. and #2."
-David Deida. but usually he struggles. . "The more a man can come from a place of choice…two things happen. Unfortunately. that she fits into your LIFE PURPOSE. most likely you will be left or ignored soon after. but he refuses to date girls unless they're gorgeous and have fake boobs. a nasty break-up. the higher quality women he will attract. But that doesn't mean everyone you're attracted to or have chemistry with should not be your relationship partner. Once in a while he'll be lucky enough to get a date with one. that is DISASTER. It's a miserable relationship. All because you didn't go for who you want. who's TOP on your choice list. Get over your fear and go after only the kinds of girls YOU find attractive--no matter how hot or untenable they may seem. But when you SETTLE. maybe even marry them. #1.
The Power of Choice
GOAL: To become aware of the importance of choice. playmates. There are lots of normal and even attractive girls who want to date him.3. the more likely the relationships will last.26 -
. where you are loved and adored immediately. and not settle for girls who are not what you want or treat you with disrespect. an expensive and violent divorce." -Relationship expert. to make sure that you and your partner are on the same PATH. partners who want to move into the relationship quickly tend to leave or cool off to the relationship just as quickly. and most of the time he doesn't even get who he wants! • Different people make the SAME mistake: they settle for the woman who they think will love them. and often. have sex with them.
"Although she would never admit it. The Way of the Superior Man It is possible to be attracted to have chemistry with lots of people. because he won’t rush into something that isn’t ideal. Ken Kenny The type of women you choose to chase--or choose NOT to chase--will determine your happiness or unhappiness to a great extent.
... the more likely your relationship will LAST.. not a purpose based on your girl!!! POWER RESOURCE: The Tao of Dating.Save yourself a lot of trouble by choosing a girl based on your purpose. choice is about what YOU want in a girl. Does the girl fit into your purpose? Does she support and encourage you in what you do? Does she have the looks and the behaviors that will make you happy.. If you'd like to learn more.html
Here's something you need to know: the choosier you are."
Ultimately. She encourages you to avoid settling by asking yourself these questions: "What do I need in a relationship? What can't I live without? What do I need day-to-day from someone in order to continue to fall in love with him or her? What do I value in someone above all else? What will be important when I live with someone? What can't I live with? What is the worst thing a partner could do to me? Add you own questions to the list to distill your relationship values. Think of it like this: It's like settling for a Mazda when you really wanted . I highly recommend you read "The Relationship Mistake of Settling. You have to be upfront and honest with yourself to determine who you really want to be with." by Gary Caine. Because girls respect a guy who settles for nothing but the best Additionally. the better women you get. by being choosy. the choosier you are. by Dr.is misery for many. Alex Benzer EXERCISE Lisa Paries has a great article about the dangers of settling. • • • Better girls. It's a quick but powerful article you can find at: http://www. many years. Why? Because you didn't SETTLE--you got what you want.or unhappy? The price of not being choosy.net/settling-in-relationship.singlescafe.
you're boring. who doesn't need her. . you'll want a refund..a BMW. in women.Let your quarry feel she earned your interest or attentions through her brilliance. They'll see you're easy. They want to feel like a man wanted her and her only. you'll pay for it later. • If you have high expectations. How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You EXERCISE Take 5 minutes to describe the things you want. They want a challenge. you have nothing special to offer. Women have to EARN his respect before he gives them attention. The Mazda might be okay. They want to feel like out of all the millions of women out there. you'll get what you want. Then she'll value your company all the more. fascinating personality." -Leil Lowndes.. Don't hold back: be absolutely honest in what you really want. her talents. who is only interested in her because there's something fantastic about her that separates her from the rest. Craig. her wonderful uniqueness.. Women want what they can't have.
"Let the attractive women tell you of her extraordinary business acumen before you suggest lunch to talk about collaboration.28 -
. Likewise. or worse. the BMW. They won't be attracted to you. Because she got it the old-fashioned way. a trade-in: you'll opt out. and absolutely can't stand.
What's a stand-up guy? According to one excellent relationship expert. you aimed for just HER. no relationship at all! If a girl sees that you'll go for just anyone--you'll get no one. "A stand up guy is a guy who's not afraid to speak his mind and do the right thing in a situation. But go with your first choice." He's a guy who shows authority and DEMANDS that people be socially courteous with him. the man who's dying to have her. put a premium on choice and quality in women. the more attractive you become. with a miserable relationship. The harder you make it for her to get you.. but it won't be as fun as a Beamer. think about this: What kind of men do women go after? Do they go for the easy choice. Because if you're not honest now. the man who will give her his love if only.she earned it. and you'll always be happy! • Women want to feel EARNED. if ONLY she'd give him a chance? Hell no! Women go for the man who's HARD TO GET. Eventually.
" -David DeAngelo • Stay clear to your purpose.
Quotable Quote: "Happiness or unhappiness is often a matter of choice. You might be accepting 2nd rate behavior from YOURSELF. then you're not being in integrity with yourself.. don't take crap from anyone. It's part of their instincts. disrespectful." by Dr. If she doesn't. The funny thing is. "If you expect the best. move on. Who protects better. a guy who settles for nothing less than the best." Believe in yourself. and you'll be met with success.• •
Or. That's happiness. you'll get the best." by David Deida "The Tao of Dating. and shameful behaviors?
"If you don't know why a woman fits in your life.29 -
. Choose to demand nothing but the best for yourself.net/settling-in-relationship. they want a protector. Women. make sure she fits into your path. Alex Benzer http://ezinearticles. and happiness with women won't be far behind! Recommended Resources http://www.singlescafe.com/?Pro-Choice:-How-Being-Choosy-with-Women-WillActually-Get-You-Better-Ones&id=293113
. stick by your decision to demand the best from women. and that's what going to get you the best girls out there.if she doesn't fit your purpose." -Anonymous So choose to be choosy.html "The Way of the Superior Man. regardless of beauty. You'll be seen as a stand-up guy. and go for only the types of girls who earn your respect. a guy who lets women run all over him? Or a guy who DEMANDS respect and calls women out on immature. a woman respects a guy who walks away from her a lot more than one who hangs around. want a quality guy who pushes for the best.
Yellow expects to get his heart stabbed. But when you’re care-free and don’t NEED a woman to go home with you—that’s when things start to go your way. that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hope to have a fun time. he considers himself a catch so he’s got to get someone. the Oneitis guy. 1 Mr. expects girls to listen to him and be amazed. When you develop a freedom.
GOAL: To manage expectations and develop a winning attitude
It all begins with having high expectations of yourself. an independence of will. 2 Mr. and to be able to successfully deal with disappointment • • • • Have you ever noticed that the less you expect something to happen. she tends to pick up on your desperation and not give you what you want. Though you shouldn’t EXPECT to get laid every night. He expects a miserable night full of bitches who won’t give him a chance. . and how they could change it. He expects the expected. He doesn’t expect them to reject him. His past hurts become his present limitations. When you EXPECT her to chase you and give you her phone number. caring girl. and of women. visualize success and you’re sure to achieve it. White. Blue expects the worst from girls. QUOTE “Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. Brown. expects the girl of his dreams to show up. the more likely it will occur? When you EXPECT a girl to go home with you. suddenly your expectations and desires come true. Never put yourself down. Professional life coach Let’s look at how some of our own Reservoir Dogs approach expectations. the real softie. Just reframing your expectations from bad ones to good ones will go a long way towards making your dreams a reality. but has been hurt before and doesn’t expect much from either himself or the women he meets. Pink. and fears talking to girls. 4 Mr. which is his biggest mistake.” -Brian Tracy.4. expects nothing from himself.30 -
. 3 Mr. the boring guy. He hopes to find a great. she doesn't. 5 Mr. one way or another. His inability to see his own faults damages his chances severely.
Expectations and Attitude
Our goal today is to manage our expectations of ourselves.
Additionally. and he doesn’t see anything happening with a girl. Women do not control him—HE DOES. What girl is going to be attracted to that? Mr. He expects to find perfection but doesn’t realize that there isn’t always just “One”. and GETS it because. he ignores the rest. and so he doesn’t. Mr. and actually get what he wanted. Every night. He only wants to talk about himself. you can. He gives meaning to Henry Ford’s classic quote. The only thing he expects is heartbreak. Mr. Red do? When it comes to expectations. He tells himself he’s going to get drunk and get laid. girls never go for a guy who’s afraid of both them and himself. Orange. “If you think you can. you're right. Mr. Because of his unsuccessful past. He expects to have fun. including… 1 He expects plenty from himself. He expects to find one girl and live happily. thus doesn’t even want to go out for fear of doing something stupid. he continues every week to go out with unrealistic standards. no matter what happens with women. Blue fulfills his own prophecy. Mr. Pink expects nothing from himself. as in my case. somehow. Right. He’s always looking to the future. One can see what might be wrong with the expectations of these guys. Mr. He . He expects to encounter nasty attitudes. White only wants one girl.” Mr. If he lived more in the moment. Mr. he doesn’t think he can get girls. he has too little confidence.31 -
. Even when his expectations aren’t realized. the best girls often appear when you’re LEAST expecting them—not when you’re actively searching them out. unfair expectations. Brown expects girls to listen to his monologues without giving them a chance to speak themselves. • • Mr. and one thing only: SEX. His expectations are too limited. there are MANY. He doesn’t realize that good things come when you’re not looking for them. but the truth is that. He expects one thing. 6 Mr. you have to practice with different girls before you find Ms. Orange misses out on some great women because of his unrealistic. he quits on her. like Mr. And if you think you can't. he can’t just enjoy the moment. Red has 7 winning expectations. in most cases. Yellow fears everything.
So what does our fearless Mr. not listen to others. Red knows what to expect of himself—and what to expect of other people. and gets nothing. and because of his own grouchiness. has unrealistic expectations. he might become more attuned to what’s going on. Brown. Orange expects a wild night. He’s definitely heading towards disappointment. does.He expects to get hurt.
Right is to show up. it will be on her time. Most importantly. and sees what will happen. another while waiting for a NYC city! In both cases it was the same: the lack of desperation and effort make you much more attractive to women. not his.2
has confidence when talking to women. because he knows that thinking and saying bad things will happen. His expectations are realistic: he knows he’s good enough to go home with a great girl.
So remember to expect good things from yourself. He knows to expect the unexpected. Beautiful things happen when you’re not looking. Red also knows that good things happen when he isn’t EXPECTING them. he knows that he might be rejected or hurt. they want a guy who is comfortable and confident in their presence. The best girls will come when he’s not actively pursuing them. The only prophecies Mr. but be patient and unexpecting when it comes to girls. Orange. but he also knows that sometimes it takes time to develop such things. It’s judged on how much he’s grown from and enjoyed the evening. Red does not live with unrealistic expectations of love at first sight. Mr.32 -
. and to not expect the expected." by David DeAngelo . He does not predict bad things to happen. I myself have met so many wonderful women when I wasn't looking-one I met on a tour of Berlin. like “The One” is not healthy for either person involved. regardless of outcome. He lives in the moment. as well. Communication is a two-way street. knowing that it’s just a matter of presenting yourself as a fun person who’s in control of himself. and is content if things don’t go all the way to the bedroom. His night is not judged on how many girls he brings home. and a man who listens and understands is VERY attractive to females. Red doesn’t expect girls to just listen to him. Mr. He knows that girls don’t want a guy who fears them." by Dr. He knows that he will have to listen to them. Brown. He has fun with the relationship. If Ms. Mr. Unlike Mr. Mr. will make it so. Red knows that treating one girl like a goddess. Alex Benzer "Double Your Dating. Red doesn’t expect every girl to hook up with him. His positive attitude makes his night a good one. Additionally. Red fulfills are those in which he believes good thing will happen. Mr. unlike Mr. Red knows that fear is his biggest enemy. Recommended Resources "The Tao of Dating. Mr. He doesn’t expect to get his heart ripped to pieces. sees where things are going. He does not let the girl’s beauty blind him. but does not let that fear overwhelm his thoughts.
He’s stuck in his fearful past and never gets out of it. become a stronger. Mr. Yellow is afraid of rejection and past hurt. and gets himself stuck in a vicious cycle: he remembers the pain of talking to women who rejected him. better person NOW "No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. Get over the past. on the other hand. oftentimes breaking up or striking out with one girl just opens the door for someone even better! Learn from the past to build a better future. He concentrates on the present and the future. he knows that past mistakes aren’t all bad—they can be a stepping stone to greater and better things. He needs to see the positives in the past. the shy type. 5 Mr.33 -
. knows how to handle rejection and past mistakes: • • • • • • • Live in the present. 6 Mr. so never advances. while ignoring the lessons from mistakes he made in the past. Pink. Red. but don’t realize that each approach is a fresh opportunity. he cannot accept that the past no longer means anything. He is his own worst enemy. Orange never learns from the past. see bumps on the road as a part of your journey. Blue hates himself for his past mistakes and dwells on them to no end. but not learning from it. your PATH . and never talks to women. Let’s see where our Reservoir Dogs fail to do this: 1 Mr.” -Friedrich Nietzsche It pays to be able to own your emotions and control them.5. so he stays shy. Going through a bad breakup or a horrible rejection isn’t an end in itself. the last one doesn’t count. “The One”. and thus never reaches out to new girls.
GOAL: Transform your emotions. White. Too many guys fear the hell out of girls because of past humiliations. like Mikey in Swingers. remembers his past failures. His constant negativity is his downfall. 2 Mr. 3 Mr. not in the past Do not fight your feelings. He knows that life is a JOURNEY—you learn from your past mistakes so that you can avoid future ones. His problem is not dwelling on the past. embrace them and watch them go No person has the ability to control his emotions but HIM More importantly. Brown remembers rejection but 4 Mr. never forgets his past girlfriend.
Anything that you recreate or have be exactly as it is. Pretty deep. Say you had a bad break-up with a girl. Don’t see it the way you feel it. fear. Red knows how to overcome negative emotions that keep you stuck in the past. Now. She wasn’t. That’s because he saw the past not as a hole in the road. Kathy. As we’ve seen. Anything you resist. let it doom him forever. FIGHTING for happiness only makes the sadness worse. they disappear.” 3. No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. It takes time. They come back with a vengeance So clearly. Mr. So take your negative emotions: guilt. the first year or so after the break-up he did just that. Then watch as the negative emotion <pop> disappears. going out more. all because of his break-up from Kathy. I’m not gonna let those bad memories consume me. can occupy the SAME space at the SAME time. But they don’t. Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work. But somehow. and isn’t a cure-all. and use his bad experiences to his ADVANTAGE. He decided that he would grow from the experience. he was SURE was The One for him.” So you fight them. 2. to feeling great! 1. you resist them. but you can’t experience them at the same exact time. and put them through the process. he wasn’t meant to be with Kathy. Or to put it another way: “If you let things actually be the way they are. my friend could have become obsessed with the past. depression. because she ended the relationship and ended up marrying another guy. by Ariel and Shya Kane. anger. the problem only gets worse. which will help you move from being in the dumps. huh? “No two things. Listen to the experts: “No two emotions can occupy the same space at the exact same time. But every time those painful emotions come up. “No. confront it. whatever. and committed himself to fixing the wrongs he made with her: being too attached. You think that by putting up a fight. will complete itself and disappear. You’ve got tons of regrets. rebel against them.For example.” So instead of fighting the emotion. He’s read the excellent book.” But think about it like this: Can you be both ecstatic AND depressed? You might be bipolar and go through both emotions. the thoughts will go away. In fact. Like my friend. You say. See it the way it IS. He became a better. resisting doesn’t help.34 -
. But after a while he learned to get on with his life. not spending more time with his friends. persists—and gets stronger. more fun person in the process. but I guarantee you it’ll make you feel a lot better and advance you towards a . but as a bridge to a better future. It deals with the three principles of transformation. I know a guy who five years ago broke up with a girl.
Your attraction meter…has gone up!
. Who can argue with that? Recommended Resources "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work." by Anthony Robbins "The Way of the Superior Man." by Dr." by Ariel & Shya Kane "Unlimited Power." by David Deida "The Tao of Dating. and you've just learned how to control yourself.35 -
. Alex Benzer Congratulations! You've just improved the way you handle emotions. You’ll become a better person." by Ariel & Shya Kane "Working on Your Relationships Doesn't Work. and in turn a lot more attractive to girls.better future. Women love a man who's in control.
She will feel her man's dependence on her for his happiness. you MUST CREATE EMOTIONS AND MEMORIES Do that by breaking her state--doing something she can never forget! Use things with positive associations and emotions (example: rollercoaster’s) so she positively associates those emotions with you This means performing actions that create chemical reactions and release pheromones (such as teasing and busting their balls)
10 Emotional Extremes to Give Women (Stand-up Guy): • Exhilarated • Curious • Angry • Shocked • Aroused • Wanting more • Fascinated • Challenged • Not needed (man is independent) • Left in suspense 10 Emotional Extremes NOT to Give Women (Nice Guys): • Bored • Uninterested • No rollercoaster-ride of emotions.36 -
. then she feels her man has made her the number one priority and is not fully dedicated or directed to divine growth and service. Nice Guys
GOAL: To overcome "nice guy syndrome" and form the deep emotional connections that make women so attracted to bad boys.DECISION POINT #3: WHO AM I ATTRACTED TO? 1. However. if she is the MOST important thing.
Key Lessons Learned:
• • • • • •
Women don't want just friends--they want male lovers!
Why do nice guys finish last? Because they DON'T GIVE WOMEN EMOTIONS To successfully attract women. A woman really wants her man to be totally dedicated to his highest purpose--and also to love her fully. and this will make her feel smothered by his neediness and clinging. Although she would
. always worshipped • Predictability • That she is #1 in your life/That you can't live without her "A woman seems to want to be the most important thing in her man's life. always the same • Needed (man is dependent) • No suspense • Sexually repelled • Wanting man to go away • Never challenged.
Just have fun. with bedroom eyes. Show them you don't take them too seriously. have a black belt in karate. Violate social conventions. I walked into a bar like a crab and this gorgeous girl cracked up so hard it was a cinch to get her number. walk up to her and say something like. so I recommend that you actually get some martial arts or self defense training. • Shock her. there's no way a girl will forget you this way. Or give her a black fist and say. Walk up to a girl and challenge her to a game of thumb wars. she wants to feel that her man would be willing to sacrifice their relationship for the sake of his highest purpose. You're stuck with me until I find out who you are.37 -
. Joke about the clothes they're wearing. "Because you have the most beautiful face I've ever seen." PEA. This is an easy way to make a woman remember you! Look deep into her eyes--do not flinch. and I cannot possibly go home tonight until I find out what your name is. let the chemicals rush to her head. Position your body so it is completely facing her. Don't be someone you're not.. Say something nice. it's fun. and you don't have to be a bad boy to make her chemically attracted to you! • Be funny. or have reformed from your previous life as an amateur rugby player." • Look deep into her eyes." so to speak. Join a gym and get pumped up. Bump into a girl and act as if she bumped into you. gimme 5!" It's silly and immature. and she’d better believe it. I have a question: If pro is the opposite of con. or you’ll just move on . with a twist. Along with this. you release the "love chemical.. Do something crazy that will make her laugh. and you're forever in her memory. give her a high five. look down. Girls like that. "I have to apologize to you. This way." --David Deida. See my lesson on Humor for more. does that mean Congress is the opposite of Congress? HMMMM. she’s going to immediately assume that you’re the kind of guy who could protect her in an emergency. BUST THEIR BALLS. will she remember you! Most of all. You should "find your skin. Kick some ass on the football field. or the way they talk. instead of shaking a girl's hand." She'll ask why. Now. if you're the intellectual type." • Get physical. For example. Say. "Sorry. Show the woman that you’re a warrior. then say with a grin. or look away from her. if you’re a 135-lb geek with spaghetti arms. PEA gets her heart fluttering..but man. "Watch it.never admit it. "Respect. into her own eyes. and you assume power over them. Go up to her and say. "Excuse me. • Be charming." • Surprise her." Give a small pause as she takes this in. By staring intensely. Reply. she may not believe you. punk!" This puts her on the defense and releases a chemical cocktail of emotions Those emotions are embedded into her. For example. Or walk up to her and say. "Hey sister.. The Way of the Superior Man 10 Great Ways to Create Emotional Reactions in Women:
Tease them. If you tell a woman that you do Tae Kwon Do.
or who offers a hand so that she doesn’t trip. even offended. I just can’t emphasize enough how crucial having a winning. If you’re always concerned about being politically correct. she’ll learn to TRUST that you. perfectly polite. like walking on the part of the sidewalk between her and the street. By doing the little things for her. No woman—whether beautiful. Say something risqué. Develop attitude.” -Evan Davis Recommended Resources "Double Your Dating. or keeping an eye open for anything potentially dangerous. Let her know that you find her sexually attractive. Make her feel safe. indeed. As I said before. being successful with babes takes the kind of attitude that isn’t afraid of risks. Trust is built upon these actions. but believe me: they LOVE it when you tease. Got it? Good. Be the guy who straps her in her seatbelt on the roller coaster. They may act shocked.
QUOTABLE QUOTE “Nice guys finish last. No matter how a woman reacts. Play on her wild side. or standing up for her immediately when anyone attacks her verbally or physically. but we get to sleep in. Flirt with her shamelessly. and grin when her mouth drops. You don’t care what others say. and you don’t have to cling to anyone. You don’t care what others think. you’re not dependent on anyone. it just blows right over you." by David DeAngelo "Tao of Dating. you’ll see girls slip through your fingers time and time again." by Dr. That’s because you’re always in control. confident attitude is. Drop hints that will intrigue her. Alex Benzer
. You don’t need anyone. Be a little outrageous.•
to the next girl. and the kind of gentleman she’d introduce to her folks.38 -
. popular. or rich—has power over you. have a bad guy within you ready to stand up for her and defend her if necessary.
their girlfriends’ approval! 3. They’re unexpected. tonality. "real" places to meet are sometimes better because: 1. the other. check out D3 L7: Making Impressions • To understand female body language and how to use body language. yoga. There’s less pressure associated with them than with bars and clubs. They’re unconventional and spontaneous.2. These include: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Abroad At work Evening Classes Through family and friends Random places. Where to Meet Women
In this lesson I discussed with you some great places to meet girls OUTSIDE of online dating. thus they’re unlikely.39 -
. And it gives you. Resources • http://www.000relationships. and space to your attraction advantage. martial arts classes Online Dating Church or religious services and clubs Karaoke clubs Social groups and Clubs
ATTRACTION IN ACTION As opposed to online dating.com/towomen/live/2006/09/05/where-tomeet-women/ • For more information on how to approach women at these places. 2. including public transportation Places you work out: Gym. thus. The fact that the chance encounter could easily NOT have happened gives girls a great story to tell their friends on how you met. check out Lesson D3 L11: How to Approach with Confidences • For tips on how to impress women. check out Decision Point: Who Do I Want to Date?
. girls are more open to friendly conversation and meeting again. check out D3 L10: Flirting and Body Language • If you meet a great girl at one of these places and want to prepare yourself for the first date.
or co-workers. the more chances you have of meeting “Ms. 3. . As someone once said. as well Do that by joining clubs and social organizations related to your direction in life. Know your LIFE PURPOSE • • • Knowing your life purpose goes a huge way towards finding the people who are right for you. Right. Uses the friends you have This may sound like common sense. and acquaintances. • • • Think of your dating success as being like a business: you need contacts to make it grow. and utilizing. Right”. but a lot of guys think they can do this stuff alone. The more people you know. Mr. Join clubs and activities related to your purpose • • • You have to LIVE OUT his purpose. Hang around people who are familiar with your passions and purpose.
How do you do this? Let’s take a look at how our smooth Mr. your social chain. family.40 -
. That’s 66% of people meeting through a network! Never underestimate the power of expanding. and people are on the same page as you. committed to helping you out. "It's not what you know but who you know that makes the difference. all of them committed to finding him Ms. of course. family. 1. This goes a long way towards building contacts and making friends. 2. Don’t be afraid to use the guys you know as wing men. Red builds and manages his network of friends.3. Even if they don’t score. nearly two-thirds of married couples met through friends. Red invites his buddies out for a night of drinks and fun.
GOAL: Expand and utilize your social circle to more easily get the women you want How do you meet girls when you’re tired of going to the bar or club? Through your network. As one study in the book "Sex in America" found." And having a great network will definitely make the difference in attracting the girl of your dreams. This way. you always have something to talk about.
pubs. Many times match-makers will try to set you up based on the availability of their friends. and longer-lasting.
• • •
Finally. Mr. Red builds a network everywhere he goes • • • • • • Always look to expand your network. and it'll make you less attractive in the process. Red encourages his female friends to help him out by taking them out for dinner or buying them a small gift. not on who's right for you. remembering that a man who is choosy gets higher-quality women. and bartenders of clubs. as a token of his gratitude for looking out for him. Mr. it’s a girl with single friends (ideally hot ones. Red is aware that women LOVE to play matchmaker. there is one thing Mr. not only shows thanks but also encourages girls to continue looking out for him. sociable guy who's quick with a .they still have a good time. He especially lets the female members of his circle know—including friends of friends. Red treats them well and thanks them for joining him. and always praising the service. so get to know them right away. to penetrate groups of gals and become quick friends. and even family of friends. if you want an athletic. So be clear in what kind of woman you want. Be adamant in what you want. It won't be good for either of you. of course. Use the approach techniques outlined in the lesson on approaching. intelligent girl. don't let them set you up with a cigar-chomping. you don't want to settle for just any woman. 4. more fulfilling relationships. but Mr. As you learned in my lesson on choice. It's not always easy. Mr. of course!). He lets his network know he’s single and interested • • Mr. and if you want one person to help you find women. However. Red makes it easier for himself by offering something they can REMEMBER: a fun. He retains his sense of CHOICE. 5. managers. chip-chewing high-school reject. You might see the same people at a bar or club. and restaurants--anywhere you go. Red is clear about when he lets his network know he's on the market: He lets people know WHAT KIND OF WOMEN HE WANTS.41 -
. Red isn’t afraid to let people in his social circle know that he is single. Do this by tipping well. telling jokes). Get to know the owners. being friendly to the staff (asking how they're doing. This. Mr.
you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Jimbo." but if you make it sound sincere. If you remember my name. and people like to have their mood's lifted. "how are you. calm. there's no limit to the power you have over people. how's it goin'?" People love a guy who seems like he wants to know how they're actually doing. use them to get to know the rest. Start by being quick with a smile. Mr. As . Be the guy who says. Edward O. so if they see a guy who can brighten their day. Next. so if you come off as sincere. someone who people enjoy being around (especially high-status people). People LOVE to be called by their names and genuinely asked how they're doing. 3. Make an effort to remember everyone's names. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance. 2.• • •
laugh and full of entertaining stories. confident manner. Not anxiously. Before you know it. Micheal. Red understands social proof: When girls see someone is popular. you pay me a subtle compliment. so make an effort to remember and use people's names. remember people's names. ask people how they're doing. they get curious and jump on the bandwagon! By developing a network within bars and clubs. "Hey. John H. and Gina Kolata
How do you get to know high-status people? 1. Finally. you ensure that you never lack opportunities to meet girls. It's an overused question.42 -
. everyone will know you at an establishment. they'll do anything for you. for as Dale Carnegie says: “If you want to win friends. Once you get to know one girl or guy. They WILL become your friends and help you to find women." by David DeAngelo "Voice Power. by Robert T. Enthusiasm is contagious. not desperately. THAT'S a winner's game! Recommended Resources "How to Talk to Anyone.” -Dale Carnegie It works. and fun. make it a point to remember them. and ask people how they're doing. you'll have no problem making acquaintances wherever you go." by Leil Lowndes "Double Your Dating. Gagnon." by Renee Grant-Williams Sex in America. sociable. Just in a relaxed. Laumann.
One thing girls of all nations have in common: they love a guy who’s well traveled.
So. And yes. Sure people in foreign countries are different than you. Blue only see the negatives in traveling: sure it costs money. When it comes to projecting value. But you know what? It’s WORTH IT. and different cultures.
The Power of Travel
GOAL: Understand the value of travel in meeting women & making yourself more attractive
“The World is a book. • • • Because when you’ve traveled. Well. and those who do not travel read only a page. you’re missing out on a goldmine: • • • • Great.
. They’re all the same in the end.” -Saint Augustine Travel is an incredible weapon for meeting women. different currencies. A man who is well-traveled INSTANTLY conveys status! Guys like Mr. or bus. beautiful and exotic women!
Guys who don’t travel.. you can talk about your experiences with girls— and THAT automatically makes you more interesting. a man with educational smarts who can pay for a comfortable lifestyle. train. When girls see you're fun to be around in other countries. If you’ve never traveled or don't do it much. it subtly tells them you're fun to be around. and abroad. He also exhibits financial resources and ambition. few things are as easy as talking about your travels. are limiting themselves to the girls and experiences of only one nation: who wants to be like that? Additionally. two big things women look for in a man. of course.at home! Makes you more attractive. You have to deal with different languages. foreign and domestic. a guy who can afford to travel definitely exudes class.. sometimes it’s a pain in the butt spending so much time on a plane. no matter where you meet women: at home. guys who are not well-traveled exhibit lesser class.43 -
. regardless of looks…though a nice tan definitely helps!
Again: A man who is well-traveled INSTANTLY conveys status! • • • Remember women’s evolutionary instincts: they want a man with status.4. lesser value. by traveling you meet a woman's instincts. life-changing experiences Finding out more about yourself Memories to last a lifetime and share with friends and females And.
. our smooth operator. “A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. by Leil Lowndes Sex in America. he talks with energy and pride. makes every effort to speak the language. • Even if he sucks at the language. • By traveling abroad. Mr. • Make sure to get girls' e-mails. • Being the sharp opportunist he is. tells them naughty words. sharp. Red is doing is BUILDING HIGHER VALUE by making himself look witty. Girls are fascinated. in fact. so people feel his enthusiasm and want to join him there.. • ACCENTS are a great way to demonstrate higher value • Use your accent to full effect: especially if you have a European or Latino accent. And lots of foreign know English anyway. John H.. He doesn’t put down his own country.”
Recommended Resources: How to Talk to Anyone. • Speaking another language shows intelligence. • Mr. Mr. Red actually uses girls’ broken English to make himself look better! • He jokes about their accents. and high status (to know many languages). and you give great tours of everything: easy way to have them visit (and get some nookie) What Mr. so Mr. girls will love to hear it! • Americans and Canadians: girls abroad do enjoy the North American accents! They’ll especially want to know more about living in big countries like the States and Canada. he gets girls at home! Which is no surprise.. Red Does In His Home Country. Gagnon. really. so you’ll be able to talk to them. Edward O. What Mr. he’s aware that girls love guys who make an effort with their language. cosmopolitan class. asks them funny questions to see if they understand. Joke that you're a part-time tour operator. so he’s sure to have some funny. Red talks about how the travel changed him—which travel so often does—and fascinates the girl with accounts of the beauties of traveling. • When he’s abroad. entertaining stories immediately ready to tell. Micheal. Red Does Abroad. Red is sure to talk enthusiastically about his land and lifestyle. Red knows to talk about his experiences abroad with equal pride and fascination. Red. and he always makes them curious for more. • Travel is an easy topic of conversation that fascinates women! • He knows that girls love a good story-teller. by Robert T.What Mr. • Additionally. and funny. Mr. Laumann Let's Go or Lonely Planet tour books!!!
. As George Moore once said..
having control means heading up and moving forward. or after a relationship. by David Deida
. So decide in what direction you want to go. gives you the confidence you need to achieve your objectives—and the strength to overcome failure and rejection. steady eye contact 2 Loose. So. even if you think she should make her own decision. With control. In short. for the sake of polarity and happiness in intimacy. Only backwards. confident.45 -
. or it will rule you. Always Be in Control
GOAL: Develop control over your emotions and your situations so that women become irresistibly drawn to you. But what does it mean to have control? How does this apply to the dating game? Let’s review the lessons of our first lesson: The Three C’s of relationships 1 Confidence 2 Competence 3 Control Control in the Approach: 1 Acting relaxed--walking slowly. and you can master any situation. the WAY to getting the girls you adore. encourage her to feel into the situation and trust her feelings. it’s something you need to have." -Epictetus Control is essential." [emphasis added] -The Way of the Superior Man. BUT.5. always tell her what YOU would do and why. You don’t rise up. It is the alpha and the omega of inner game. upright body language 3 Feeling comfortable 4 Handling rejection 5 Controlling fear and anger 6 Not losing control to alcohol 7 Help make decisions FOR women! Show that YOU control the situation. but with an internal sense of control. you can. Not having control means you don’t move forward. have a special relationship. "Rule your mind. Often her feminine feelings will be a much better basis for a decision than your masculine analysis. while letting her know that you love her regardless of the decision she makes. "As a practice always help your woman make decisions by giving her your perspective and telling her your choices. Some guys can never get over a break-up or mistake. you only fall down. It moves you forward. during. converse with them. Whether it’s before. hands by your side. have intimate contact. you can do anything with women: approach them.
or fear 4 Living life with purpose and direction 5 Talking only to girls who interest you. Don't say. if reservations fall through 5 Feels comfortable notching up physical attraction Control With Other People 1 Confidence with yourself.Control DURING a relationship 1 Firm in his decisions. Able to compose and maintain himself during intimacy . you are. makes a girl feel comfortable 1) 2. even a Plan C. make a decision. 'I like red shoes. You are weakening your woman's trust in you: why should she trust your wisdom if you don't?" -David Deida. without hesitation 3 HE picks place. and then make your own decision. decisive. Acts like it’s natural.. does not hesitate.46 -
. Ready for anything—including hesitation and last-minute resistance 2) 3. saying. The Way of the Superior Man 2 Controls his anger and suspicions. and a determination to continue on one’s path Control on the First Date 1 Doesn’t worry about what to say 2 Knows where and when to make date. If you choose to go with your woman's decision even when deep in your heart you feel that another decision is more wise. alcohol." -David Deida. not just any girl Control During Sex 1.' You are weakening yourself by telling yourself this. stands up for himself and calls girlfriend/wife out "You should always listen to your women.'.Offering your perspective on decisions is one way to give your masculine gift. 'I don't trust my own wisdom. does not let insecurities rule his actions 4 Does not let women get away with disrespectful behavior. 'They're both nice. only accuses when he has proof 3 Talks with respect to girlfriend.' Say something like. not girl 4 Having a plan B.. not bowing down to other people 2 Pausing--"vocal celibacy" (see lesson on body language) 3 Not losing control to anger. but what's the most important to me is that you're happy. The Way of the Superior Man Control AFTER a relationship 1 Ability to move on after a break-up 2 DON’T say nasty things about past girlfriends to present ones 3 Talks with respect about past girlfriends 4 Acceptance that relationship wasn’t meant to be. in effect. and tell her. "If she asks you which shoes you think look better on her.
Recommended Resources "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. I'm not attached to any particular result." by Susan A. by stating." by Dr." by Alexandra Mannock
. or let them bow down to you? In what ways do you project higher value to girls? In what ways do you think you could? (Consult Lesson 13 on Projecting Value for answers!) Do you have a purpose in life. I am the only person allowed to declare me a failure. so I will tease and play with her just for fun. "I am more powerful than my emotions. Act the part by believing in yourself." by Ariel & Shya Kane "Anxiety Zapper. Women are attracted to me and enjoy my intimacy. I will not give excess importance to what someone else thinks or says. feelings of inferiority. 5. 6. 3.47 -
. Do you project higher or lower status to women? Do you bow down to women. 2. again. anger." by Ariel & Shya Kane "Working on Your Relationships Doesn't Work. I will positively reinforce the behaviors that I like in other people and neglect the behaviors that I don't like. I will always leave her wanting more. it will become true. 4." If you say it enough. Alex Benzer "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work. I will not be ruled by _______" at the start and end of every day. I will cue my behavior to what she does. or do you walk through life with no direction? What are some ways to control the way your date goes? How can you control how your relationship goes? How can you change your attitude towards a breakup? What makes a guy in control of sex? Conquer your problems with sex. Alex Benzer's Six Rules of Attitude: 1. "I am in control during sex.BONUS Dr. and I refuse to do so. not what she says. Jeffers "The Tao of Dating. EXERCISE: Which emotions do you need greater control over? Fear. addiction? Conquer these problems by stating affirmatively.
Pink is too shy. Variety. He limits himself to one woman.
GOAL: Learning how to successfully get a women's attention and interest Lots of guys go about getting female attention in entirely wrong ways. White is always on the hunt for “The One”. He hopes girls will just come to him. so he doesn’t try to get the attention of other girls who might be good for him.48 -
. There are 5 great ways he knows how to get attention. but when his efforts don’t work he gets grumpy and negative. preventing himself from landing other gals. loutish behavior drives them away more than it pulls them in. Sometimes you have to try new techniques and approaches. so he tries not to get too much attention.6. What do women instinctually search for in men? There's five things: * Status . you have to be positive. Unfortunately. Red doesn’t let his moods or emotions get the better of him. he never tries anything new. Give Girls What They Want!) 2-Physical Well-Being 3-Wearing Great Clothes and Styles 4-Peacocking 5-Energy. and 6-Social Proof The first great way to attract women's attention is to follow the evolutionary instincts that are programmed into their brains. Blue is okay at getting attention. But his drunken. Brown tries the same old ways to get girls’ attention. Let’s see what DOESN’T work: • • Mr. and repeatedly fails. If you send positive energy and positive vibes. but Mr. people will gravitate around you. and using one woman to attract other women.
• • •
Mr. he waits for girls to come to him instead of going out and getting their attention himself. He forgets that attitude is very much an attention-getter. which can often work well. Yellow is afraid of rejection. Mr. Blue sends negative energy and negative vibes. But we know how well that line of thought works! Mr. including: 1-Building Status (ie. and that never works. Mr. Mr. Brown refuses. even in the face of rejection or worse. Orange’s idea of getting girls’ attention is to posture himself as the Alpha Male of the group. He knows that to get female attention. Mr. are the keys to attracting women. repelling women further away. Mr.
• A man with status provides a comfortable living style for the woman. They'll suck you dry. but if you make your possessions your only means of attracting them. who dream of escaping their present conditions. Status. that you need money to prove your worth. For men. • Main reason is because men with status can protect and provide for his wife and his children. "You can either have the real determinants of social status--power.49 -
. Think of all the girls who make peanuts for salary. 1. Muscles. Women are attracted to money. etc. They see that YOU yourself are not a catch. and not love you for you. Is that the kind of woman you want to attract? So we have to look at ways to attract the women you want. and general excellence. two things happen: 1-Women see that you are insecure in yourself. measured pace of speech. • Girls want to know the guy they're talking to is of higher status than them. Think about they type of women you really want to attract--and for that I recommend my lesson on CHOICE--before you go out and spend thousands of dollars on a Gucci watch or hot sports car. and gives hope of a better future. you actually have to talk to her for her to get to know those things.* * * * *
Body positioning Financial Resources Educational Level Physical Aptitude (Height. deep tone of voice. only your personal possessions are impressive. Financial resources aren't available to every guy. 2-The type of women who DO chase men with money. They'll love you for your wealth. wit.) Ambition
Okay. generally aren't high quality. economy of movement. and looks--or you can successfully convey the indicators of status. as quick as possible. • But do you need to be the President of the United States to have high status? Hell no! As Dr. without having to approach her and engage in conversation? This is where status and physical aptitude come in very handy. you don't have to be of high status--you just have to high status indicators. Throughout this course. and are very shallow in attracting women." • In other words. Alex Benzer writes in The Tao of Dating. you'll be learning how to use . who live in the rough part of town. A man with status has the power and the resources to whisk her away to a better life. so educational level and ambition take some time to show to a woman. wealth. some of these are relaxed body language.
• Did you know that a man who is in good shape and good health. as she admits. and can pass on good genes to her children. junk food. a guy who's pale. and ABLE. Marie Forleo. Physical Aptitude. is trim and muscular. and think highly of you. She may not think "This guy will make me strong babies. has a healthy immune system. always sick. 3.your body language. 2. releases pheromones from his immune system? • These chemical pheromones catch a woman's attention by subconsciously letting her know that you are healthy and strong. dress up in the most ridiculous and outlandish get-up you can think of. women are ALWAYS thinking about what kind of father and husband you could be. scrawny. • Never forget that. or a . • Whether it's a space suit and a fedora with 6-inch platform shoes. By staying in good shape and eating well. she's approached men herself just because she loved their shoe sense! • To learn more about what to wear. definitely check out my lesson in Decision Point 2..50 -
. Think about it: What should women want more. Stay away from drugs.or a guy whose skin looks healthy. recommends wearing great shoes because. • The less crap you have coming into your body. even if she's looking for a one-night shag. • Only for men who can make fools of themselves with confidence and enjoy getting EVERYONE'S attention! • Basically. women will notice you. and has the strength and energy to kick butt if his family is ever threatened? • You can't blame women for wanting guys who are muscular and tall. out of shape. "How do I want to present myself?" 4. who can't even defend himself if danger comes near. this is a sign. the stronger and more immune your body will become. That means women will notice you more. to protect and provide for her. that the man will be able to defend his partner and their children. and other body pollutants. and movements around an area to convey that you are a high status CATCH. to them.. Syle and Presentation • When it comes to spotting top brands--and bottom ones--women have the eyes of an eagle. PEACOCKING. • Relationship expert and motivational coach. • They want a guy who will always be ready. • What do I recommend? Eat well. tonality of voice." but it's what's going through her mind.
by Carlos Xuma
. and instead of having to go to them. collected body language and enthusiastic talk • If you can get a female friend. Curiosity takes effect. and at the center of a group (see Notes on Body Language and Spatial Positioning) • Calm. DO IT • NOTHING validates and catches a girl's trust and attention more than seeing other females with you. even a sister.. "Be different in an attractive way. The idea is that girls will instantly be curious. • Girls love guys who bring excitement like they've never seen before. THEY'LL come to you. • Make yourself the center of attention • Position yourself in the center of a room. Drucker Recommended Resources The Venusian Arts Handbook. ENERGY. whether it's in the club.or in the bedroom." Sets you apart from 99% of the other guys out there Instant attention.” “The successful person places more attention on doing the right thing rather than doing things right. The hotter.. bursting with optimism and hope. many times girls will approach you!
5. Mystery advocates it all. personality which captures your heart. Part of David DeAngelo's maxim. • A simple SMILE communicates excitement and will catch a girl's attention effectively • Key principle: Enthusiasm is contagious 6. by Joseph Matthews Secrets to Becoming the Alpha Male.” -Peter F. the better POWER QUOTES: “It's beauty that captures your attention. • If you're bursting with energy.51 -
. by David DeAngelo The Art of Approaching. by Erik von Markovic (aka Mystery) Double Your Dating. girls will just be mesmerized by you. to come out with you. SOCIAL PROOF.• • • •
red polyester suit with ski goggles.
7. Making Dynamite Impressions
GOAL: Discover the 5 emotions you need to stir in women to create surefire impressions that will make them want YOU • • • They say first impressions count…and they’re right. The first 90 seconds count for 90% of people's impressions, according to R.Don Steele in "Body Language Secrets." So it pays to make quick favorable impressions when first meeting a girl-and her group of friends, who often play a bigger part in a girl's decision than your target herself.
Here’s Doctor Red’s 7-step prescription for making great impressions: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Give Her Something to Remember You By Show a Love for Yourself Show You Understand Her Make Her Laugh Be A Sociable, Fun-Loving Guy Leave Her Wanting More, and SHOW YOUR TALENT
• • •
1. Give Her Something to Remember You By If you want a girl to remember you, you’ve gotta do something different. As David DeAngelo says, "Be different in an attractive way." Attraction is based on EMOTIONS, so you have to break a girl's state in order to create emotions. Show her something different, and her body will chemically react to it; it will be a shock to the system. When a girl is attracted, it's literally a chemical reaction to you. Mr. Red knows…he’s gotta do something she’s never seen before, and never WILL forget.
I'll give you an example. I know this guy, Dave, who meets girls. And Dave's not very good looking. Messy hair, pale skin, a bit of a beer belly, and he's only about 5'8". The way Mr. Red does this is by “breaking her state”. That is, he does something she didn’t see coming, which gives her the emotion of surprise. SURPRISE is an amazing emotion to give girls. When you do something they didn’t expect, especially something funny or unusual, you’re giving women MEMORIES linked directly to YOU. Her brain will chemically process you in her memory, and good or bad, the fact that she’s got a chemical impression of you that separates you from everyone else—that’s a good thing! Let’s look at an example of something Mr. Red does to surprise a girl no matter - 52 -
where he meets here. Say, for argument’s sake, he’s at a bar: he wants to talk to a girl at a table. What does he do? Use the standard, recycled pickup lines? Try to buy her a drink? Give her a compliment? Nah, those are all approaches she’s expecting. There’s no surprise involved, no emotional rollercoaster. ATTRACTION IN ACTION But what happens if Mr. Red does something unconventional? Say he goes up to a girl and challenges her immediately to a game of thumb wars. Or says, “Hey, I’d like to get to know you, but I can’t talk to you until you’ve guessed the secret word?” This is probably something she hasn’t seen before, and she’s faced with a guy who’s confident enough to ask her something like that, and obviously a funny guy, at that. The thumb wars approach—going up to a girl, saying nothing but extending your hand in the thumb wars gesture—is also a classic that will certainly surprise the girl and make her laugh, as well as participate. Just like that Mr. Red has made an impression as a guy who’s different and entertaining. 2. Show a Love for Yourself If you want her to be impressed, show that you’re impressed with yourself: Show a belief, a comfort, a CONFIDENCE in yourself. That’s what Mr. Red does. He makes it clear to the girl, by not putting himself down and building himself UP, that he loves himself and will continue to do so regardless of whether the girl is interested in himself. Too many guys make a girl feel that if she doesn’t accept him, they’ll be disappointed in themselves and hate themselves for losing her. Mr. Red exudes a carefree attitude that says, “Hey, I’m into you, but if you’re not into me, life goes on. I’ll still be the same great person.” This leaves her with the emotion of calmness; she knows she’s not with a guy who’s insecure and sensitive. She’s with a MAN, a man who takes care of himself and rebounds from rejection. The fact that he doesn’t need her…makes HER want him more! 3. Show You Understand Her • But it’s not just names that count (although it generally DOES help to remember the girl’s first name!): remembering interesting facts and stories she told you goes a loooong way towards impressing. • It gives her the emotion of FEELING IMPORTANT, and if you give her that, you’re definitely doing well. Nothing quite validates like listening and compassion. Mr. Red is neither a suck-up or rude; he simply listens to a girl, and makes her feel understood. He knows that women, with superior communication skills to men, NEED to be heard out, so he does just that. He listens to them, and shows an understanding of them. One of the best things he does is say how impressed HE was by something she - 53 -
said; this makes her feel validated and special, and she’ll tie those emotions to YOU. Check out on my lesson on Listening to hear more about how to make a girl feel important. Mr. Red knows that a woman never forgets him if he listens well; and the way she DOES remember him has nothing to do with his looks or money—it’s connected to how he made her feel. As someone once said, “Whatever makes an impression on the heart seems lovely in the eye.” 4. Make Her Laugh • Make her laugh, show her a good time. • In my lesson on humor you'll learn specific ways to entertain a woman with humor. • Mr. Red makes sure that at some point he tells the girl at least one funny story, and teases her about something. • Teasing makes impressions because it gives her the emotion of surprise; most women don’t expect a guy to have the balls to put her in her place, so any guy that does instantly creates a CHEMICAL ATTRACTION. • It's true: Nothing works quite like the emotion of humor; it releases endorphins and chemically improves a girl's mood. And when a girl's mood is lifted in YOUR presence, she'll forever associate that happiness with you. Humor, as you will learn, is a POWERFUL aphrodisiac! 5. Be a Sociable, Fun-Loving Guy • Girls are drawn to sociable, fun-loving guys. • This DOESN'T mean that we need to be the high-school jock or the hit of the party for girls to like us. While this doesn't hurt, that's not all at the only way to make impressions on high-quality girls. • In fact, there are a lot of simple things you can do that will impress women a lot more than the arrogant, insecure behavior of the alpha male jocks. Here are some simple but very effective techniques: 1. Throw parties. Nothing says you love fun and enjoy people more than inviting every over for a party. It also gives you CONTROL and POWER by making you the master of the social environment. People look up to YOU when you are the host. 2. Invite people out. Likewise, be the guy who invites people over to his house or out to the bars. Be known as an exciting, thrill-a-minute guy who's always down for a little fun. Don't be afraid to announce to a group, "Hey, we're doing to such and such a bar, come with us!" If other people are going with you, believe me, women will feel the pressures of social proof to come along with you. And along the way, they'll be impressed by your popularity. Next, - 54 -
4. sincerely. like you really KNOW the girl. and shows that you don't NEED to know her name to have a good time. genuine. women are all about emotional connections.
Naturally. how you doin'?" a lot more than the guy or girl who says. some rules apply: • Don't go out of your way to know people's names. If you remember my name. • A simple. What's your name?" • It works MAGIC. and creates emotions and memories of people where not using one's name doesn't. If you act desperate and over-anxious to know a girl's name.” -Dale Carnegie • • • People are magnetically drawn to those who remember their name. • Just talk with the slow voice and calm tone of a surfer or skater: "Hey. • Act like the friend who cares about her welfare. friendships. You know LOTS of people. You can be a fun guy. how they're doing--and again. 5.. Ask people how they're doing! • This is a wonderful way of impressing a girl and her friends. “If you want to win friends. A simple. remember the name of the girl you're after--AND the names of her friends.3. I know from my experience that I enjoy the company of someone who says. nothing says you're enjoying other's company MORE than a smile. "Man. James. Consult my lesson on Body Language to learn lots more about the seductive power of a SMILE. If you truly want to make an impression. It sounds like you really care. relationships. "What's up?" It's a lot more personal. "Hey.. how's it goin'. • Just act cool and relaxed. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance. and as you know. Be cordial. Smile! Yup. personal. your friend JESSIE is crazy!" to her friends will make Jessie yours. • Ask them.. no loss. make it a point to remember them. how YOU doin'?" can create butterflies in girls' stomachs. REMEMBER PEOPLE'S NAMES. "Hey Lisa. and she'll be sure to become more than "just friends". What's in a name? A lot more than you think. act like you've been friends for years. she'll be turned off in a hurry.and people will treat you just like that. you indicate that I have made an impression on you. USE THEIR NAMES WHEN ASKING. you pay me a subtle compliment. . girls will be a lot more open to inviting you into their worlds. Because when you use people's names. so if she can't be bothered to tell you her name.55 -
.. but girls won't know it if you look uneasy or never smile.
" When you show a woman you're not easy. "Hey. do it with flair and pizzazz. then show it to her--slowly. This is a great movie.56 -
. "Well. independence. Not bad. So that leads us to the final way of making impressions:
. A guy who has the restraint. All you have to do is make sure you show a girl you're worthy. So think about something you can do that's interesting." When you finally do show it. Make her curious for it before you just ruin the surprise and do it. She'll be curious--"What's up with this guy? He doesn't seem to need me. show a woman a man who doesn't need her in the sack. Just look at David Copperfield! And he's not even a very good-looking guy. impresses the hell out of women. "Weeeeeeell. • Girls love an entertainer. It doesn't have to be big. Follow the Tao of Steve." 2-Do something excellent in her presence." If she's been bad. and confidence to leave just when things are getting good. and she'll be instantly drawn to you. Can't show you my trick anymore..6. since you've been good. even something like being able to touch your nose with your tongue can stimulate interest (in more ways than one!). you've been bad. you'll just have to wait. Show a talent and a woman will forever be drawn to you." Let her plead for a while. then when the time is right--usually a lull in conversation--ask a girl if she wants to see something cool. but hardly a surprise: he has talent!
ATTRACTION IN ACTION Say. wanna see something cool?" She'll say. for as Heidegger said. or some crazy thing you can do with your elbow because you're double-jointed. It summarizes a lot of the lessons you've learned so far into one simple method: 1-Eliminate your desires. you drive her emotions wild." Then you can tease-further showing your worthiness--by saying. say. yet he got Claudia Schiffer. "Sorry. Show her a card trick. "We pursue that which retreats from us. • • • • • This is a big one. thereby proving your sexual worthiness. all right. because it's really cool.. that she has to "catch" you. and a great technique. "Sure. Such a shame. That is.
It’s too bad. SECRETS are an awesome way to stimulate curiosity and suspense. you’ll have to wait til next time. Leave Her Wanting More • The last. Girls hate suspense. women are drawn to them like a mouse to cheese. If you can make yourself seem mysterious. too.7. “Well. • That way she’ll remember you for a great time. leave when the moment is there. wanna know something cool I did?” She’ll say yes. so try it! Recommended Resources "Double Your Dating. I gotta go. • Remember. and raising yours. “Hey. • Don’t wait till the moment has passed.” This is a great way of teasing her. • Just when things are looking good. “Hey. as the philosopher Heideger once said. all in one. “Mmmm. Guess we’ll have to meet up soon to end your suspense. and most important. emotion you want to leave the girl with is CURIOSITY." by David DeAngelo "The Tao of Dating. you can use this for when you arrange a first date: When you call her up. • Even better is SUSPENSE: make her just dying to see what else you have to offer. it’s too bad I have to go. It’s guaranteed to work. because her brain will link past pleasure to future pleasure. say something like. so she’ll be likely to want to see you as soon as possible! In fact. "We pursue that which retreats from us. not the boredom and awkwardness that come after it. She’ll want more.” Then lead her on during the whole date…I’ve done this before and my night ended with me scoring. you’re practically FORCING her to see you again!
QUOTABLE QUOTE "The more natural and relaxed you are. say. sorry. When it comes to learning the deep. until she can’t live without you!” -Barbara De Angelis in her excellent book. I was gonna tell you something nobody else knows…” or. when that magic has just sparked. Women LOVE to learn secrets. so I bet you really want to hear my secret. then you’re in. full of secrets. untold secrets of people. tell her you have to leave. the more natural and relaxed the right woman will feel around you. Alex Benzer . “The Real rules”: ATTRACTION IN ACTION When you’re talking to a girl one-on-one." • • • Additionally.57 -
. the more she will want to be with you. lowering her value. it’s really interesting." by Dr.
. consult the lessons on "Humor." "Body Language." by Mystery Along with these techniques." by David Deida "Venusian Arts Handbook.
." and "Understanding Women" to discover what you need to know about what women want."The Way of the Superior Man.
Red knows that the only style of picking up women that will work is the style you make your own. Mr. As Dr. Mr. miss.59 -
Let's see what's the WRONG way to handle the moment.
Living in the Moment
GOAL: To take life less seriously. to observe what's going on. Orange makes the mistake of using tips. Take a moment. Create not a style. but a philosophy…Everything you can use until you find what works best for your foundation. Use your own techniques and talk. Now is the only time. is right now. Blue: always finding faults and flaws with people.” • Notice what's going on. Red knows that if you can't live with yourself. who don't live in the moment. speak from within. Do not limit yourself to one style. As Chris Cobbs said: “The past is never there when you try to go back.8. Successful pick-up artists and "in" people do this all the time. author of "The Tao of Dating. you can't live with other people. Red does not just use one style. But not Mr. and enjoy whatever happens. says. and take in the scene.. but only in memory. "“Build a house that is suitable for YOUR personality…you’re gonna have your own style…pull it all together. They lean back. Alex Benzer. And true fulfillment can only come from sharing your joy. be yourself. but many. Red. .
How to Live in The Moment:
• Commit yourself to being happy with who you are. because they've taken the time to observe the scene and pick up something funny or interesting that others. MR.. tricks. To pretend otherwise is to invite a mess. the style you personalize to yourself and who you want to be. and pickup lines somebody ELSE made to try to pick up women. Like Bruce Lee." And the time to do that. And do not dwell on the past. "Make a decision right now to be comfortable in your own skin and to accept yourself completely exactly as you are right now. away from people (subtly suggesting that they're above it all). and embracing today. contentment. famous for using a synergy of unique fighting style. Carlos Xuma. use the techniques I listed above to immerse yourself in the moment and be a lively part of every situation. Relationship expert. and self-sufficiency with the rest of the world. even a break from the conversation.”
Got that? Do not be someone else. it's usually something really good. use many. Mr. You become a Mr. It exists. When they do comment. you can't ENJOY THE CIRCUMSTANCES." writes. You're going to achieve success with women by overcoming thoughts of the past and future. and nobody--especially girls---enjoys that kind of person.
fun. and works so hard on being who he THINKS women want that he doesn't get to see that all they want is someone who's an honest. Mr. Blue. live in the present. Then there's Mr.with alcohol! He gets too drunk to notice much of anything.. Practice talking about them." -Charles F KetteringRecommended Resources: The Tao of Dating." -Corita Kent "You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time. He needs a major attitude adjustment to notice the good. something funny.• • • • •
The problem Mr. Mr.
Remember. Orange makes the mistake of living in the present a bit too much. POWER QUOTES "Light tomorrow with today!" -Elizabeth Barrett Browning "Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries. by Ariel and Shya Kane Unlimited Power. by Dr. Oneitis. and develop your story-telling capabilities. stand-up guy. Brown just enjoys talking about himself that he doesn't notice girls rolling their eyes and moving away from him! Finally. Write these five down and describe each.. White. It could be something interesting." lives in the past and obsesses over his past girlfriends. by Anthony Robbins . Mr. He lives too much for the future. Yellow and Mr. or "Mr. who only sees the stuff that's WRONG in the present. if you're always living for tomorrow or yesterday. This helps you notice things. Mr. how can you enjoy today? EXERCISE Go into the closest room and try to notice 5 unique things to talk about.60 -
. Yellow has so much fear and insecurity that it all gets in the way of him enjoying the present. instead of the right. Alex Benzer Working on Yourself Doesn't Work. Pink make is that they live in their emotions too much. and provocative things that are going on. But that never happens because he misses out on the little signals like body language that girls are constantly sending. Meanwhile. something unusual. the "getting laid" part.
I love this conversation starter: "Did you know that the Spanish Tell her you've been to a country where you can speak the language. 4. As I described with life purpose. Travel and Languages. She’ll become a lot more interested in you if you show that you’re interested. Girls LOVE the sappy. So give it to them! 3. DO'S OF CONVERSATION:
5 Great Topics of Conversation: 1. Funny stories.9. or what’s the craziest thing she’s ever done in her . I always tell a girl I've lived in Spain (which I have) and throw out a few fancy words. Travel is a sign of STATUS. “Would you like to hear something funny?” Of course she will. On top of that. Also check out the Members Area notes for great information. can’t emphasize enough how important it is to LISTEN to a girl. and the status. tell her that. or about how great sex was with your last partner (ALWAYS. but sexual innuendo is GREAT. It’s been proven to be tops on things girls want in a guy.
Knowing What To Say
GOAL: Never lacking for things to say--and knowing what NOT to say. But do it with a passion. You can escalate the conversation with a few romantic words or a description of the fantastic moonlight on a starlit beach somewhere. Two for the price of one. Women LOVE to talk about themselves. girls LOVE to go on adventures. avoid it. This impresses the hell out of them. talking about travel is an EASY topic that girls enjoy. Her. let her know that you’re a PASSIONATE PERSON. Talk about where you've been.
1. easy topics. If your dream is nothing more than to settle into a nice house with a good dog in the suburbs.61 -
. As relationship guru brilliantly says. 5. “TALKING about sex is the first step towards having it. or even better. she’ll want to come along for the ride! 2. Without exaggerating. Easy. Ask your date. For more information on this. ALWAYS. too. Humor is such a great aphrodisiac. you don’t want to talk directly about how much you love it. Yup. so ask questions about HER dreams and HER goals. Know how to speak with eloquence and effect. where you've lived before. and the Members Area notes. Your dreams. sex. present something interesting in the form of a story. be honest. This is such a great way to enter a group. Don’t make them up. ALWAYS a no-no!).” Ask her if she’s a bad girl. as is knowing another language. check out my lesson on The Power of Travel. Rather than talking all about yourself. A guy who's well-traveled shows that he has the money. romantic stuff that foreign locations afford. Check out my lesson on listening. let the girl know that you have dreams for a better future. If you haven't traveled at all. Last but not least. but even if you've only been to a few countries. in this unit. So tell her. If you let her know that you’re on one. but present it in a humorous way. Tell her where you plan to go. No. mention them. and actively listen.
Inside jokes between you and your friends 5. Negative thoughts breed negative results. people will follow you.. Its power is awesome in seducing and conversing alike. open minds. DON'TS OF CONVERSATION:
Here are six things you really don't want to talk about: 1. Past girlfriends 4. quick. Just by adopting an open." 4. Don't say something about how great snowboarding is when you're mumbling and looking down at the floor. such as science-fiction 6. 2. Anything that could be interpreted as geeky or dorky. So forget the bad stuff! Even if you're scared. excited talk for the . chest out. even if you're grumpy. Practice good posture: back up. you can invite women into your world. project only the good traits. 3.62 -
. hyper voice • Don't rush to interrupt people • Slow talk for confidential.life—with a bit of innuendo added into your voice. Or. Never put yourself OR others down. steady voice instead of quick. let's discuss some great WAYS to talk about yourself. Blue makes is to speak negatively about everyone and everything-including himself. All the great stuff you have
3. Good multiplies when focused upon. Politics 3. I have seven. Girls respect guys who aren't afraid to talk sexy!
2. use body language to show enthusiasm. Use humor. 1. Good results will reward you. emotional talk.open doors. The choice is ours: Which do we want more of?" As I teach in my lessons on Attitude. How's that supposed to help his case? Julia Cameron puts it best: "What we focus on. • Slow. Take note of your tonality. Don't be afraid to broach this important subject.. relaxed. Negativity multiplies when focused upon. The common mistake Mr. Secondly. Offensive humor 2. "The best way of removing negativity is to laugh and be joyous. be positive. It's also a great way of removing your doubts and enjoying your time with a girl more. optimistic attitude. Speak with conviction. and speak in a level. Enthusiasm is contagious. She’ll know what you mean. enthusiastic way. so if you speak with energy. to put it another way. How to Talk About Yourself
Finally. But positive thoughts breed positive results. anxious. and get excited thinking about it. we empower and enlarge. You can listen to my lesson on humor for great ways to use humor to interest a girl. As David Icke suggests.
tell her. how embarrassing and go for a mirror. Finally. You're the first to hear that. keep her in suspense. girls respond just as well to teasing now as they did in kindergarten.. I guess I'd be pretty pissed off too if I paid $10 to see that movie. It's funny. stuck-up girls who don't respond to your advances. I've said it! I'm out of the closet!" <Pause for dramatic effect> "I've never been able to tell anyone. Tell her you have something really important to tell her. "You're the first girl to get me . For the noisy. "Tag. Let's look at some specific ways to tease a girl. Bring out their childish side. say to her friends (or if you're alone. you're just annoyed) "Here's my secret."you gotta hear this" ending 5... There. you look so attractive with that piece of spinach stuck in your teeth. to her). ask her friends.I like women.. keep her in suspense a while longer> "Okay." (this way it doesn't look like you're submitting to her. For the more serious. is she always like this? How the hell do you guys deal with this girl?" e. when she's dying to know what you have to say. is she always like this? She looks like she just saw Gigli or something. "You know. But it was really cute to see you freak out like that. She'll probably say. In the audio lesson I talked about the importance of teasing. My secret is. You can then make it serious and tell her..they'll love you for it. In the end. In the middle of a girl yapping away. but.." Watch her freak out.. here goes. look-at-me primadonnas. Ready?" <pause for a few seconds. you're annoying me!" with a grin. then say. Go up to a girl and introduce yourself. gotcha! Nothing between your teeth. and allows you to bust her balls (the power of teasing!) 2. "Oh my God. were you afraid I wouldn't like you anymore?" b." This will embarrass her greatly. c... ATTRACTION IN ACTION Every time she asks what the surprise is. "Okay! Okay! Just to make you quiet. tell her. slap her lightly on the wrist or shoulder and say. When she goes to shake your hands. Please don't tell all your friends my secret!" This accomplishes two things: 1." If she keeps asking. • Make her wait more and more. have some fun. The Big T: TEASE. "Ha. You're it!" with a big grin. a. "Boy. What. remember the power of silence. "Man. "I can't tell you right now. "Stop it. lightly slap them and say. interrupt and say." d.. put them down.I'm a closet heterosexual..63 -
. Be choosy. moving on. When you show an independence from women. Love it!" 6. the simple act of NOT TALKING to a woman. People do not react very well when there's silence. Girls love a guy who's on a clear path that doesn't involve unacceptable behavior. In fact. They love a guy who shows dominance. don't waste your time with her! You don't have to talk to every girl. If the girl doesn't seem like your type. It also creates suspense in people. waiting for you to say what's next. by Allan Pease 4. by Renee Grant-Williams . and it really does create control. Listening goes a long way towards upping the attraction meter." explains that "Not answering is gaining control. pause. Remember the golden rule of silence: that SILENCE IS GOLDEN! It's okay to take a break and just listen sometimes. it's subtly saying that you're more important and you'll do things in your own time. I know so many people who do this. you create magnetism. girls especially are so used to immediate chatter. Don't waste your time with girls who don't fit your standards! It's very empowering to be able to walk away from a conversation." GIRL: "Really?" YOU: "Yeah. There are ones who are worth your time.
Great Resources on How to Talk Better
1." Up the attraction meter. if she's not interesting. author of "Dating Dynamics. Tease! YOU: "Hey. your OWN self-centered universe. Practice active listening: show you're interested by nodding your head.over my man-loving ways. Women LOVE this." So. and ones who are not. So not talking immediately--that's control! Carlos Xuma. it's EMPOWERING: silence shows that you're not afraid to listen to other points of views. Making a person wait for your response gives you SO much control. Voice Power. and talking to OTHER girls is an AWESOME way of creating interest. by David DeAngelo 5. Check out my lesson on listening to find out exactly how to use listening to your seduction advantage! 7. don't rush to answer or comment. and seeming interested. by Leil Lowndes 3. by Leil Lowndes 2. as if you've seriously given thought. How to Talk to Anyone. answering our phone on the person anxiously gives UP control. on to a girl who's actually interested in you. smells just like cabbage and broccoli. maintaining eye contact. Try it out and see just how attractive you become. How to Make Anyone Fall In Love with You. Double Your Dating. Body Language. and silence IS dominance. I guess you're used to making gay men straight. On top of that. just like that! f. that's a nice perfume you're wearing.
keep them open in a relaxed. She has a great system for using your body to soften your target's heart: It's called. E is for eye contact. Love at first sight isn't just an expression: It can be a true. only about 7% is accomplished by the words themselves! • The other 30% is done by how the words are spoken. Don't close or cross your arms." gently touch your target's arm.
People form 90% of their opinion about you in the first 90 seconds Communication is 60% nonverbal and 40% verbal. By "accident. A smile makes you look fun and confident. and lightly touching her back. Gliding past her when you go to get a drink. "Why does eye contact have such fiery consequences?. nose to nose. Face your target. T is for touch. you give her the fear that she's not good enough. making strong. Thus." By gazing deeply into a girl's eyes. his or her body produces chemicals like phenyl ethylamine. Believe me. and tone of voice • Nonverbal signs (eye contact. she becomes overwhelmed with fear. she'll appreciate it. biological reality! According to Lowndes. This CANNOT be emphasized enough. or a piece of lint on her clothing. to show you are physically attracted. inviting manner.65 -
. gestures. Body Tonality
Interesting Facts: • • •
Language.. Stand or sit just a liiiittle too close. When you look directly and potently into someone's eyes. none other than.) have five times more impact than verbal signals! (source: Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship and Dating) ATTRACTION IN ACTION To start. spatial positioning.
Positioning. etc. Don't lean back lean INTO your target. that jolts the sensation of being in love. F is for FORWARD lean. belly to belly. I really like this advice from Leil Lowndes.
GOAL: To understand and put into practice effective body language.10. almost threatening intense eye contact with your Quarry is one of the first steps in making hm or her fall in love with you. and tonality techniques. SOFTEN. inflection. position relative to the speaker.Unrelenting eye contact creates a highly emotional state similar to fear. neck. O is for Open body. S is for SMILE. And that means you've made a good .. is a great way to communicate confidence and interest. or PEA. Of the verbal portion. and stutters.
impression. Awesome stuff. N is for nod. Listen to her responses; girls love to be heard. Nodding is a wonderful way of saying you understand what she's saying. A good listener DEFINITELY impresses women. Body Language Tips: * 10 signs a woman is into you She looks down when you see her and smiles–A very good sign. She’s shy but wants you to come over to talk to her. Nothing invites quite like a smile. She’s twirling her hair around–Definitely into you. Nervous and selfconscious in your presence. You're making a connection with her. Licks her lips–unless you can tell she’s screwing with you, this is a very good sign! Open legs–Open legs, open mind. She’s open to hearing more from you–and who knows what else. Sideways glance–The classic Hollywood flirtation, this is a coy, seductive way of showing her interest Fondling a cylindrical object (cigarette, glass, etc.)–VERY good sign! And a hint of what she may have in mind for later on in the evening… Fondling her shoe (shoe is slight off her foot, twisting her foot in circles)– This is that classic shy signal that girls use to display interest. The "leg twine"–one leg pressed hard against the other to give the appearance of high muscle tone–very good sign The head toss–If she tosses her hair back over her shoulders, this is definitely a good gesture. Exposed wrists–If she’s interested in you, she will gradually display the smooth, soft skin of her wrists to a guy she’s interested in. Wrists are actually considered one of the more erotic areas of the body–so if she’s showing you this sexual area–go for it! * 6 signs she's not interested--regroup and rethink! Not making eye contact with you—looking around, eyeing her friends, looking anywhere but at you Legs crossed—always a bad sign. This means she’s closing herself off to you - 66 -
Arms crossed—This can convey annoyance and impatience. Definitely a bad sign. Hands on her hips—This can also convey impatience. Not looking good. Leaning backwards—It’s much better when a woman is leaning towards you. If you notice her leaning away from you, keeping her distance, it means you’ve gotten too close for her comfort and she’s not that into you, at least at this point. A weak handshake—Do you shake a girl’s hands when you meet her? If you do and notice that hers is weak and she is quick to take back her hand, then she’s not very impressed. * 7 Great Ways to Flirt 1. The confident eye gaze This is how you start your interest. Nothing shows confidence off the bat like meeting a girl’s eyes, and KEEPING YOUR STARE. If you see her look down and smile, you know you’ve made it and the time to approach is now. If she looks away from you but doesn’t smile, give her a shot nonetheless; just the fact that she met your eyes for a second or two shows interest. In the end, though, this isn't a science; most of the time you'll be able to tell by whether she looks happy to see you, whether she likes you. 2. The Dale Head Drop So named after Dale, the master of getting women rushing to his side, just with a simple shrug! If you really want to blow away a girl–and show some balls– meet a girl’s eyes, then knowingly drop your head to the side, as if to say, "Hey, you know you want me. Come over here and get me!" I’ve found this to work incredibly well in foreign countries. In the States, the girls tend to be able to see through it a bit more–but it still works! 3. Smile! It’s often overlooked, but nothing communicates happiness, confidence, and interest in a girl all in one like a nice big smile. Show the girl you’re in control, show her you’re confident, show her you’re a fun guy to be around: brighten the place up with a big smile! And if your teeth need work, then get them fixed! It’s good not just for your chances of meeting a girl, but also for your health and appearance! 4. Open Body Language So many guys walk or sit with their arms crossed, their legs close together, and their faces anxious and flat. Stop that! Welcome a girl into your world: Have - 67 -
your arms open and leaned back, your legs open and relaxed, your face warm and inviting. You’ll not only attract yourself into a girl’s world, but also into the world of people at a party, club, or bar who can help you meet a future girlfriend–or even wife! 5. Lean in to her As you’re talking to a girl, especially while seated, show her your interest with confidence by leaning in closer. You don’t want to be a creep, of course, but you can generally tell by a girl’s body language and talk how interested she is in you. If things are looking good, show her your control of the situation–and interest in her–by leaning in and generally getting closer to her. Leaning back does the opposite; it shows you’re unconfident and not overly interested. Not what you want to communicate. 6. Thumbs in belt Ever put your thumbs in your belt, with your hands at your hips’ side? This is processed as a sign of being confident in one’s sexuality and size. So if you’re standing around at a bar or club and want to convey confidence, this will certainly be understood by girls! 7. Touch her! Yup, nothing gets you closer to a girl than physical touch. Great conversations and emotional/spiritual chemistry are great, but if you really want to take it to the next level, you’ll have to eventually show some balls and touch her. I’m not talking about grabbing her and making out (unless it really is going that well and she’s flirting out of control!), but doing little things: brushing your arm by her shoulders, lightly massaging her, leading her by the arm to another location in the place. By making a physical connection, you’re giving her a sign loud and clear that you’re confident in yourself and interested in her. Spatial Positioning Tips • Make yourself the center of attention in a room.
"Position yourself as a center of influence - the one who knows the movers and shakers. People will respond to that, and you'll soon become what you project." -Bob Burg • • Avoid "wallflower" locations. Sometimes going to one side where nobody else is draws attention to you. - 68 -
First. by Wes Mantooth • Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship and Dating. Recommended Reading: • Body Language. Sitting up straight will help the resonance. then on the phone. this time inserting two pauses. Now that you have the humming coming all the way from the diaphragm. by Dr. Practice it enough such that you are comfortably speaking this way regularly. Make each pause for the count of one second by saying 'one one thousand' to yourself. this time adding THREE pauses. Then move it inside such that you are humming mostly from the mouth. 2. then in everyday conversation. Now read the paragraph again. From there move it on down to the middle of the throat. by Helen Fisher • The Tao of Dating. measured manner becomes a habit.69 -
. Alex Benzer • The Importance of Body Language.org/
. How to use pauses and tempo to make your speech almost hypnotic While you read a passage out loud. Practice regularly such that speaking in a slow. Don Steele • http://www. Start by doing it alone. insert one pause per second.learnbodylanguage. Then do it again. do it in a way that makes your lips vibrate.Vocal Exercises 1. practice projecting your voice form there by reading the preceding paragraph. Vocal Control Start humming. Add to that the vocal resonance you practiced in Drill 1. by Allan Pease • How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. Then move the humming sensation to the back of your throat. and finally all the way down to your abdomen. by Leil Lowndes • The Anatomy of Love. and then your chest. Notice how people respond to you differently. by R. each of them one second long.
" This actually got me the phone number of a really hot girl: Walk around with your legs jaunted.c'mon! Look at his clothes. Who do you think gets more ladies: Mini Me or Peter Dinklage(the short guy from The Station Agent)?" "My friend over there has something REALLY big to tell you. Good.11. "Can you help me? I'm too short.. "How are you?" Instead. it's REALLY big news. I can't reach the bar.70 -
. what do you think of my friend here.. .. Do something different that forms lasting impressions that make her want to see you again and again. you're no longer MOST GUYS--would say. but she'll actually go with you to the bar and get you a drink. You not only have her attention. his tan. but. look at his perfect skin.. He says he's not gay. Okay. like a crab. that spells G-A-Y!" "Y'all look like Beyonce!"
2. "Fine. but you also have her participation: win-win! "Hey." Don't give the traditional responses to questions like.
ATTRACTION IN ACTION Say you're at a clothing store and the cute clerk asks how you are.to me. they know all the pick-up lines and all the obvious openers. Could you please order a drink for me?" Not only will she laugh. Here are six of sure-fire ways to open up a conversation: 1." Friend says: "Hi. give her a high-five or "black power" fist and say "Respect. Approaching with Confidence
GOAL: To FORM CONNECTIONS and BUILD EMOTIONS." <Call friend over> "Ready? Ok. Use humor Great Humor Openers: • "Excuse me. Most guys-and remember. Surprise her Great Surprise Openers: • • • Go up to a girl and challenge her to a game of thumb wars or rockpaper-scissors Instead of giving her a hand-shake. perhaps you can handle a little dispute my friend and I are having. give one she'll remember for a really long time. Ask her. Girls have seen it all.
or "Hey. "Yeah. You get the chance to present yourself as a funny. who would it be?" "I need your help with something. "Well. so you can make up something funny. Before I get to know someone. Usually a WOMAN needs to know these things first. but it works. then you should be in. So. I've had better days. but where do you see yourself in five years? I'm just doing a survey of people. lift it up. as long as neither of the relationships is serious. I felt really bad and apologized. what would they be?" Not only does this provide an interesting opening. so you're taking that power out of her hands and into yours. "I know I just met you. What do you think of this?" "If you could be any super-hero. have any of you ever heard of Celtic soulgazing?". he's a midget. Those things come and go. but he disagrees. I looked up the meaning of Pino Fada and it means 'pine cone.' I'm still trying to get over the fact that I got called a pine cone by a midget.. did you see that crazy guy in here who was dancing around in his underwear?"." Naturally. "Hey. I was just walking down the street." Not you. If you can make up a good story. this will require an explanation. 3." See how this would break a girl's routine? You've got a really easy opener to talk to a girl. but it empowers YOU: you say that you need to know what she's like before you can get to know her. and most say. Forget looks.71 -
." I just wanted to see if you were any different. like. so you say something like. I like to know her priorities. I tell him it's wrong. and could only bring 3 valuables. But a guy who comes in and shares a story about getting called a Pino Fada by a midget? She'll never see one of you again. "married with kids. well. Good story-telling is probably the best "in" to a group.thanks. It's subconscious to her."
4-Tell a story. unusual guy she'll never forget. forget money. It's not everyday you get flipped off by a midget. You have to be convincing. and a good story. And that's the most important thing: she'll never forget you. and she's bound to ask you lots of questions. and all he did was grab and his crotch. It's really weird. give me the finger and call me a Pino Fada. and accidentally bumped into this guy because. Ask for Her Opinion on Something Here are some great questions you can ask: • "I have a friend who thinks it's okay to date 2 girls at once. You want to make the girl remember you for next time. she feels like you're in control. if you were cast on Survivor..
etc etc. Tell her these things. talk to ANY GIRL OTHER THAN YOUR TARGET." Now.. Just by giving a quiz you get emotions swirling in women.' Basically it says that every girl fits one of the personalities of the Sex in the City characters. or Miranda--never say Samantha right away!). 59." . Samantha. "Yeah. This is a wonderful technique for establishing EMOTIONAL RAPPORT with your "target. Charlotte. daring but caring. girls LOVE to laugh and share! 5-Present Her With a Quiz." She'll of course defend herself--but if she doesn't. I want to find out whether you're a Carrie. then that's DEFINITELY a good sign! In any event. you're responsible.. or Miranda. good." Women LOVE quizzes. see if something entertaining is going on. 69. 29." She'll say. You don't want to seem too interested. if this is in a group of 2 or more girls. Or maybe something really interesting happened to you the other day. Maybe there's a live band.. "Really?" And you say.10! This is a great brain-teaser. tease her and say. and that is an AWESOME thing. "No.there's 9. 49. 79.. and the drummer has a funny face. To any other girl: "I'd say you're a Carrie (or Charlotte. 89." Talk to your target last.
Ever heard of Celtic Soul Gazing?.72 -
. 39..... 19. but it’s a great Entertainment=Results.teller. because like Carrie. I hate to bother you. and you can tease her mercilessly for NOT knowing the answer!)
Look around your surroundings. This is one quiz you can give: "How's it goin'? Look. How many nines are there in 100? (Think about it.. but fun. So before I get to know you better. "So I'm guessing you're a Samantha..You look smart for knowing the answer. It's called 'the Sex in the City test. So. You're fun but professional. have you seen Sex in the City?" <they'll say yes> "Okay. and goes along with it. there's something about the connections they bring that makes them just love a personality test or something of the sort. So go up to the group or isolated target and ask her if she would do a quiz for you. but my friends over there keep arguing that this quiz they've done works. and tease her a bit. Great Story Openers: • •
outsiders. you're definitely a Samantha. and a great way to show higher value. 99.
big time. For example. For more great openers.
7. try saying something to the group like. Before I knew it. I was BREAKING HER BALLS. we ended up making out. Also use lots of WE statements. But she loved it. such as "Do you think a guy who’s traveling should be able to cheat on his girlfriend?". by Joseph Matthews How to Talk to Anyone. a story only the two of you know. "Oh. make sure you actually listen to and remember the advice girls give. with advice questions. You want to keep your ears open because a girl might say something you can snatch up and spit back in her face. that's disgusting. but not me. So these things work--if you live in the moment and catch them. and I made myself look pretty innocent. "Hey. I pounced on that girl--who was pretty hot--and said. that's wrong.This is a great technique that I've only seen success with. or signal. handshake. Act Like They Approached You! . Just the simple word of "we" builds an instant bond that makes the girl feel like she's known you forever. by Leil Lowndes 6-Develop a secret. I remember once asking girls what they thought about having sex in public. the two of us were joking about it all night. I recommend the following e-books: Double Your Dating." but one girl mumbled. "Shhh.73 -
. Most of the group said the same thing. as I said in a previous lesson. and I constantly teased her. etc." Girls are all about making connections. and it wasn't long before I got her in the sack. which as you know is a great way to project higher value. yaw know. to LIVE IN THE MOMENT. a secret handshake or sign. we need a secret handshake or something. make her look ridiculous and raise your status in the process. so doing something that builds a strong foundation for friendship means guaranteed success. "Excuse me? Did you say you do it all the time?" She had to defend herself to the group. I did that. • • Nothing rushes chemicals through a girl's brain faster than making an immediate rapport with a man Excellent to have something personal between you and a group of people: An inside joke. what's wrong with doing it outside?" Some men might have let that slip. by David DeAngelo The Art of Approaching. With groups. This is when it's important. "inside" joke. and to me. That way she'll be more likely to want to see you again--you're already a pair! Now.
" Say this with a knowing grin so she knows you're joking. like. club..74 -
. watch it.women love humor. So with this method. has shot up!
. the point is to reverse things on her." in which case you should say something snappy. your attraction meter. "Well. "do it right. My mother that if you want to touch someone. you should be sorry. In my lesson on "Body Language. no touching!" or "Hey. in which case you say." Do this with a devilish grin. stop staring at me! Didn't your mother teach you manners?" This makes the girl have to defend herself. there'd be holes in my skin. touched." you learn all about the importance of positioning yourself effectively in a room. This is GREAT when you're at a crowded bar. One way way is to use your body. Just like that. or ogled. Do something that girls normally get annoyed at. punk!" She might apologize.• •
This means using the methods that guys normally use on girls. "Oh. "Hey. If you were looking any deeper at me. She may be bitchy and say. if you see a girl's eyes staring in your direction--they don't have to be looking at you--say something like. If she makes contact. Just position yourself near the girl you like and subtly back up to her. "Next time touch me a little higher. and turning them inside out. So you've got the tools to approach women successfully." or. and use it against the girl. a very powerful strategy. "I wasn't looking at you. you use your body to get close to a girl and act like she was hitting on you. Basically. pleeease. pretend to be offended. Say. such as being bumped into. For example." then grab her in surprise. and puts you in command. "Hey. or party. Now go out and use them..
strange and funny things always happen. because you instantly get a chance to be funny and entertaining. It conveys intelligence. just be ridiculous. 3-Observational Humor. Red keeps his eyes open and his attention ready. So if you can surprise her by humoring her about herself. and if he senses a girl is open to this type of humor. 4-Wit. She may be a model and he’ll say. Here’s what he does:
1-Tease: Remembering that surprise and the unexpected are some of the keys to winning a woman’s heart. you’ll really make yourself attractive. humor. Red knows that nothing looks stronger than a guy who can cut his opponent to pieces. you guys model some really strange clothes. Red has 8 great ways for getting a girl to laugh…and to open up in conversation with him. Mr. 2. By pointing these things out with a certain level of dramatic flair. Mr. easygoing girls. knowing that something interesting and entertaining could occur at any moment. Mr. “Wow. Mr. try it out on a girl. Especially if you’re talented at imitations. going over the top will make them laugh--and want to be with you in the process. Red knows this. the really beautiful ones expect lap dogs. Red comes off as sharp. Who picked that outfit for you? Richard Simmons?” Girls don’t expect you to make fun of them. 5-Exaggeration. And if he is able to put a jock alpha-male in his place in front of a woman. he’s not afraid to tease a girl and make fun of her. especially using their own remarks against them. Red gets girls' phone numbers just by walking around like a crab. Red does the opposite of what a lot of guys do. he uses exaggeration to full effect. It’s the one place where being a clown is considered normal. Mr. you know that karaoke bars are one of the top places to socialize with women. Hey. and full of fun. This is where karaoke clubs are king amongst places to meet women. Hey. all in one. 6-Imitations/Quotations: If you genuinely have a talent for doing imitations. in fact. it’s a great way to impress a girl and make an instant connection. I wouldn't recommend it--but for fun. knowing temperatures will rise when humor is successfully utilized. Self-Deprecation: Nothing shows confidence like the ability to make good clean fun of yourself. Mr. .
GOAL: Using the power of laughter to raise a woman's interest in you
Mr. witty. he gets major points for that.75 -
. If you’ve heard my lesson on “Where to Meet Women”. Or by singing a note REALLY off-key. or a ridiculous-looking cat staring at him. and power. It depends on what kind of girl you're after--if she's an ice queen.12. He might see a guy whose face looks like his dog's.
and you have to be able to rebound from it. Next time you go . I thought I was at a funeral or something.76 -
. like. Additionally. There! I said it! Please don’t tell anyone!” Of course she’ll keep you “secret” between you and her.never underestimate the value of deep. like a long-time couple is a MAJOR turn-on • Having that connection that makes her feel part of something intimate and personal. • Make it sound serious and tragic. "I do too! Yes. and forming a connection with a girl that she won’t soon forget. • Furthermore. what a crowd! Guess that’s the last time I use that one!” It may even be a future joke: “Remember that time I said the joke about such and such? Man. even if it doesn't pan out. women are stimulated more EMOTIONALLY.. Red knows that whereas we men are stimulated VISUALLY. even if they're painfully unfunny ones!
ATTRACTION IN ACTION Never underestimate what teasing can do for your game. Mr. you want to know something no one else knows?” Of course she’ll want to. personal connections. “No! Tell. If a girl stares at you. something off-the-wall. You instantly build higher value. Feeling like she's known you forever. you can’t just stutter and apologize.. Red knows that nothing develops rapport quite like inside jokes between you and a chick. “Hey. A great way of making things interesting. I’m really embarrassed about this…it’s a major insecurity for me…I-I probably shouldn’t tell you. Instant rapport is the gateway to seduction. unamused and unimpressed. Be prepared to switch to another subject. and it will be a fun. 8-Develop Personal Jokes: • Mr. say in a Borat voice. Simply go up to a girl and smile like Borat and say. inside joke between you and her. high five!" I've found girls love this. only to be funny. A lot of times people won’t get your humor.. • • • • The key in any form of humor is to have confidence in it. it's just plain funny and loosens them up. “Well. The fact that the majority of guys wouldn't do it. Try. Do things that good friends or partners say. the reception was so bad!” Extra points if you turn the bad joke into an INSIDE joke. I love this one. "High five!" Or do this by asking her if she likes something. or even poke fun at your own joke with a laugh: “Wow. like best friends. tell!” So you say.” Naturally she’ll be like. stand up for your sense of humor. and if she agrees.. “Well.makes you look all the more courageous and unique for doing it.7-The Borat Approach. Don't be afraid to try something ridiculous. I’m…a…heterosexual.
. "Hey." <Grin> "My bad.wait. "Where??"> Then say. by Neil Strauss • How to Talk to Anyone. "Oh. by Leil Lowndes
. say something like.out. and watch the number of women you hook up with. but you got something on your teeth.. your teeth are always like that. by David DeAngelo • The Art of Approaching. When you're introduced to her or introduce yourself. So use it to your attraction advantage." <Watch her put her finger inn his teeth and clean it. hate to say this. um. Sorry.. by Joseph Matthews • The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. Recommended Resources • Double Your Dating and Cocky Comedy.. and women truly love it.. soar. or ask. make a point to tease a girl you find attractive when you first meet her." Humor is such a wonderful way to make yourself look good.
You WILL be a catch by the end of this lesson. Use the information you've learned so far. you'll be familiar with its tenets. Five things that women instinctively look for in men: • • • • • Physical prowess--that is. 3) Retreat--ie. They are: 1) suppress your desire--and your agenda of getting her into bed 2) You have to do something excellent in her presence.78 of Steve"
. the ability to protect and defend her. as well as good genes to pass on to her potential offspring Financial Resources Ambition High Educational Level.
GOAL: Show women that you are a catch they would be foolish to pass up. or read the book. and you're well on your way to success. how can you provide the five things women want?
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How do you show value? If you've ever seen the classic movie. and Status
Based on what you learned in the lesson. keep 'em wanting more. therefore proving your sexual worthiness. and the great techniques you learn today.13.
Watch "The Tao . The Tao of Steve. It gives three rules for capturing a woman's interest.
when you get that first phone number. then show that you’re not dependent on her by moving on to another women. and it's absolutely necessary for gaining her attraction. but show that you’ve got confidence. “I’m a high-value commodity. One guru says something brilliant.” Remember. Girls get jealous when they see a great guy like yourself with other girls. It's one of women's needs. protecting a girl. don't quit there! Make a show of it: move on to the next girl. next to her. so if you’re able to have a great conversation. it also means using your body to make contact with a girl. and if one should arrive. is an amazing move.” Kenny suggests things like slapping a girl’s hand. So meet her needs. and if you’ve done well. “Oh. Make Her Feel Safe: Like I said before. 4. is up to you. and sexual innuendo together. she’ll plead with you to stay. NEVER back down! 5. “are you a bad girl?” Her stomach will flutter. You’re communicating. you’ll not only stimulate her. so doing things like slapping her hands (lightly). the harder it is.” This’ll make her jealous. or on the first date. you really can't attract a woman without making her feel safe. A winning combination to sexual success. “Talking about sex is the first step towards having it. I’m gonna have to find someone else. you're going to lose her faith and attraction in you. If you want me. but either way it’s a great way of moving things ahead—and showing quality. showing you'll stand up for. “women don’t respect” a lack of physicality. Now that IS quality!
. is an incredible way to demonstrate value. If you say. and I personally suggest saying. “You’ve got some gunk on your face” and brushing your hand on her neck. you want to show that you’ve got balls. Girls LOVE this. a throaty voice. “The longer you wait. Red's 5 other ways for projecting value:
1. Interestingly. If you DON'T make her feel safe. humor. teasing is a great way to “demonstrate confidence. Sexual innuendos. Either way. come and GET me!” 2. to the next success. AND the fact that you’re a challenge. 3. Getting Physical: Being physical doesn't just mean having a nice body and good health. saying. Teasing: As I said before. tell him to get lost.79 -
. says one guru. like a Mr.Mr. or saying.” Whether you want to talk about it after having just met a girl. and she won’t be seeing you in a bar or club anymore—she’ll be seeing you in a bed. “So <her name>” as you put your hand on your knee. “You just lost a point” and make women keep track. Momentum: One great thing to do is. you’re no fun. Finally. If someone is threatening the girl or anyone in the social venue. If a guy is bothering her. Adding physical touch. they need to know that their man will protect and defend herself and children. you project quality and uniqueness. Yellow. do your best to keep an eye on threatening situations. stand up for the person.
" by Leil Lowndes "The Art of Approaching.80 -
. Get used to being the guy who jokes around a lot. suspense. Write down 5 emotions you want to create in women (happiness. 3. In what ways can you make her feel those emotions better than anyone else? 2.
________________________________________________________ __________________ ________________________________________________________ __________________ ________________________________________________________ __________________ ________________________________________________________ __________________ ________________________________________________________ __________________ Recommended Resources
"How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. Find 3 funny stories you can tell the ladies.1. Think of 5 things you can tease a woman about--example.). her clothes. Before you go out. practice joking with your friends. curiosity. etc." by Joseph Matthews "Venusian Arts Handbook." by Mystery
. Again. You can be a challenge by showing class and showing status. Don't act overly interested to be talking to her. • Don't show interest in a girl just because. getting a man despite the odds. acting unimpressed. Securing the First Date
GOAL: Successfully set up a first date with ease. • • • • • Lean away from your target Be relaxed. That is.
2. Social proof. • Romance novels always work on the same formula: the WOMAN falling in love with the man. women do not want to be easy. and signify that SHE has to impress YOU. • Look at all the romance novels and films: women love the thrill of the chase. NOT the man falling in love with the woman.. but don't treat her like a goddess. using the following techniques. Red. listen to her. Becoming a Catch:
If you want to get a date with a beautiful. "A model. women LOVE a challenge. don't smile and sound fascinated by everything the woman says. the hunt for true passion. Be a Challenge. How do you do that? Try the following ways: 1. talk to other women. be calm in her presence. Show a women you're a catch by showing her how popular you are with other girls. Giving a yawn. you have to show her you're a catch.DECISION POINT #4: WHO DO I WANT TO DATE? 1. • Danielle Steele does NOT write novels about women going for the first man who comes her way. saying things like. They want a challenge. exciting woman.
1. • Guys. This especially applies to beautiful or career-driven women who are used to flattery and praise. Do the same things as men who can get any women they want--like Mr.but he goes just for her.. bring any female . The man is so attractive that he can get any girl he wants.she's a girl. I guess. not the other way around."--these things assert your dominance. huh? That's nice. Don't stick to just this one girl. even if she's the most gorgeous girl you've ever met.
that you make a great date--and maybe. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. then well.friends you have along. The way you treat yourself is the way SHE will treat yourself. If you talk about yourself in a negative. while I want you to follow this advice. Even when she's wondering. 5. 4." So dressing well is just one step is reassuring her that you're worth it. Dress for success. What you wear says a lot about what you can provide. Or. Follow the three rules of the Tao of Steve: • • Eliminate your desires. the men who dressed the best. Now." For every question.82 -
. 3. walk away calmly. ambition. because as you know. even when considering a quickie. too. if you dress in nice. or even other guys. or boring. That is. If she starts talking to her friends. When a man is well dressed. a woman subconsciously listens to her genes. As Lowndes writes. 'Should I or shouldn't I tonight?" how well you could care for her and her unborn children is in the back of her mind. don't try to be sweet and innocent. expensive clothes. thereby proving your sexual worthiness. got the highest scores. You can't please everyone. a great husband and father. . when she sees an independence in you. As Lowndes writes. Never talk about anything as if it's nothing special. Be who you are. YOU might just score well with women. if you talk about yourself in positive. women instinctively search for status. if you really are an alpha jock. formal. Do something excellent in her presence. Lowndes cites a study in which women were asked six hypothetical questions ranging from "Whom would you choose to marry?" to "Whom would you choose for a one-night stand. praising terms. It's important. and much more successful with women. as well. and don't stick around when the girl gets busy. so just concentrate on being yourself. 6. "Dress as though you were auditioning to be her husband. Believing in yourself. one day. getting married may be the last thing on YOUR mind. she realizes that you're a catch. you have to be NATURAL and GENUINE. how is she to believe you're anything different than that? Likewise. Show that life goes on without her. Being yourself. Engage in conversation with other girls. This is a big one. If that's not convincing enough. then she will. but it just might be the first thing on HER mind. boring way. So remember. "Evolutionary theorists tell us that. it signifies his ability to provide for her offspring. You'll be much happier. or stupid." Now. and financial resources. don't pretend to be an alpha male jock if you're actually a really sweet nice guy.
There are so many other high-quality women out there. you ask. playing a guitar. And that. talking to a woman simply because of her beauty. Move on. but eventually it'll succumb. and women LOVE to be with a guy who's hard to find. my friends. if she's into you. indicates that you're full of desire. As said before. Leave Her Hanging • • I love this method. makes you a catch!
But what happens if she doesn't chase me?.83 -
. and feel that they have to PROVE themselves to the man to get his interest. a FIND. then you didn't prove you're chaseable. a piece of metal might put a little resistance to the magnet. thereby proving your sexual worthiness. for as Heidegger said. Showing your desires. If she doesn't come after you after an hour or so. Setting Up The First Date
a. but leave things just when they're . Do something excellent in her presence. By showing a girl a talent--a magic trick. YOU have the power to give it to her. etc. Ways to Ask for Her Phone Number 1. The idea is to not ask for her number. she seeks validation. you make her have to chase. and she's likely to resist you. And when she chases. In this case. not just gotten your interest because she's hot or has big boobs. knowing that women are naturally attracted to men the same way that metals are attracted to magnets? Hey.
2. This is what you want: for a girl to EARN your interest." Women are so used to being chased. "We pursue that which retreats from us. Retreat. they don't feel good enough. with confidence. Likewise. What would a high-status guy do? Would he worry that a woman isn't going after him? Or would he relax. they don't know what to do. for as Heidegger said."
A brief overview of each rules tells us why the rules make you a catch: • Eliminate your desires. You're a rarity. Suddenly. "We pursue that which retreats from us. you're no challenge for the girl.--you separate yourself from every other guy out there. then she'll be more inclined to give you what you want in the first place. ask yourself.•
Retreat. By retreating. telling really funny jokes. and the first date wasn't going to happen in the first place. when a woman feels like she's earned your interest. that when a guy shows interest and then leaves. Thus. she will eventually come and find you.
" "Why?" she'll ask." A lot easier than calling with no rapport built beforehand. For example. • Tell her your friends are waiting for you. Make sure you find out at least one thing you both have in common." She oughta get a laugh. GIRLS WANT THAT FROM GUYS. "I just remembered I left my cat Mittens out. You're my man. she'd better earn it and make the effort herself." you say in a nervous voice. If she wants to have a good time. Remember. was just sorting through my G-string drawer and was thinking of you. "Hey ____. thereby giving you CONTROL over her. Call me. but don't stop moving." with a devious grin. Remember.getting good. Never forget the importance of RAPPORT--personal. She'll probably agree. that you really like to wear Scooby Doo underwear. They want to EARN A MAN'S INTEREST. if your inside joke were. I needed your advice: Do you think red scooby doo underwear or pink scooby doo underwear? I'm having trouble deciding.
2. so I need the help of an expert. interrupt a really intimate moment with something funny.84 -
. and believe me. "like attracts like" and girls want to have a REASON to go out with a guy--a reason other than their beauty. It makes you look independent. and she'll be sure to stuff her number into your pocket or cell phone. I'm really worried about her. spinning emotions in her. "Oh man. inside jokes and signals form EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS that separate you as unique. As Leil Lowndes says. "Look. in which case she'll either give you her number or you can easily say. When she hears this joke or secret sign. "Because. By doing this. "I have to go. As you leave. say. . why don't I get your phone number and maybe you can be my friend too. more natural method. VERY IMPORTANT: Leave with an inside joke • Helps SO MUCH to have made an inside joke before calling her.
Or. "Maybe I'll see you again sometime" with a confident grin. Find Something in Common
This is the easier. you incite positive. Saying this with confidence and spunk is sure to make her eager to see you again." you say. CREATE EMOTIONS. you can easily call up and say. intimate connections that are purely between you and her. It's sexually suggestive. this will make you look concerned. she thinks POSITIVELY of you and you only! This allows you to call her and start a natural conversation based on this joke. Apologize. say.
If she doesn't show up. Don't take forever. what's up? It's your lover calling. <wait for her laugh> Later. Go out and find some other girls. so see you there. Call her and say. Thursday night at 8 <pick a place>. like.com. That rule still applies. If she says she's busy at the moment. though. expecting her to be somewhere and showing an independence at the same time if she isn't. so why doesn't she come along? However. so take control out of her hands and into yours. "
2. _____. You can live without her (you really can!). say. don't bother calling for at least another week. Remember. Just going through my G-string drawer and thought of you. make sure you don't come off as desperate." This gives you control. don't distress. Conversation shouldn't take more than a few minutes. I know you want to see my latest collection of Scooby Doo g-strings. Use inside jokes. At the same time you are ASSERTIVE. you're on a path. Leaving Voice-Mail Messages . Look. to not seem too interested. I gotta get going myself. mention it casually but firmly. Ways to Speak to Her On the Phone 1.85 -
. I gotta get going. Call her casually. "No worries.•
Example: If you discover she loves Spanish music. NEVER say. you can live without the girl." Can just set up the date from there. Hey. listen. meet her eyes. the old "Don't want to seem too desperate" thing. Make sure you show that you have other things going on (which you do!). After all. "Well. I once had to have complex surgery from too many hot peppers. it's not easy being a G-string model. but why don't I take you to ____ sometime? You can watch me burn my tongue on one of the jalapenos. shoulders back--CONFIDENCE
b. If she's busy. Remember. why don't we go there together?" Helps if you start out funny to ease her up. "Remember me?" The alpha male EXPECTS people to remember him. with a touch of humor. mention that you know this great tapas place that plays good music (up to you to find one). I know this great place that sells great jock straps. "Hey. with a touch of comedy • I tend to wait a few days after seeing her to call. He is confident that people will never forget him. As they say on urbandictionary. you're on a path. Talk SLOWLY.
she is the same as the other three or so billion. Recommended Resources:
"How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You.or maybe. call me anyway. don't bother calling! Never ever ever say. Alex Benzer "Pickup 101. and leave it up to her to call back. Later. and you'll never be happy with yourself!
• • • • •
3. If she doesn't remember your name. you know my number.• •
Don't be like Mikey from "Swingers" and leave 20 messages in one night! Leaving a voice-mail is a sort of test." by Leil Lowndes "The Tao of Dating.com says of "oneitis. collected voice that says you EXPECT her to call you back. Red assumes that women remember him. it's _____. As UrbanDictionary. If she doesn't. "Remember me?" Mr. This is just an illusion." Remember: Only you can make yourself happy. ____. <Pause> Anyway. He has that swagger and cockiness.. If you don't have that voice yet." the disease in which men think only about one girl: ""Often confused with love. Leave only one message.. MOVE ON. Give other people that control.86 -
." by Lance Mason
. I was just going through my Gstring drawer and the Scooby Doo one made me think of you." by Dr. make sure it incites emotions--humor. A man on a path knows he will find other girls." Key is to have a CALM. ___(number)___." 'Go f*** ten other women' is the most commonly prescribed treatment for this "disease" (hence the "itis"). this is the feeling that a particular woman is actually special. as it tends to show quite quickly how very alike people are. Which trait do YOU want to present women with? When you leave a message. a test of whether you are INDEPENDENT or NEEDY. he can move on to someone who does remember his name. Well. anticipation. excitement are the main 3. A typical message "Hey.
2. and pave the way towards a lasting relationship In today's lesson you're going to learn what to say. different. if your first experience is stirring. Then think about what first date venues you can suggest to ensure she feels those emotions. how to look. she won't forget them.
What to Do on the First Date and Beyond
GOAL: To have a successful first date. In fact.87 -
. if you raise her emotions. but does it have the ups and downs and excitement of a rollercoaster? Not usually. Some of these include: • • Surfing Horseback riding . and where to go on the first date. your date will transfer the strong emotions to you. on How to Be Irresistible to Women!
1. A dinner date is okay. Some ideas are: • • • • • • • • • • Exciting Exhilarating Fascinating Intellectual Unbelievable Adventurous Daring Provocative Sensual Mysterious
If your date experiences some of these favorable emotions during her time with you. You'll also learn exactly how to close the evening and move things on to intimacy and the relationship. Creating an EMOTIONAL First Date
I highly recommend you try Leil Lowndes' "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You. So I highly suggest you try something fun. you have to increase not only her sexual attraction." She goes into detail on just about every facet of meeting women and having relationships with them. In her section on "The Scientifically Proved Best First Date. but her EMOTIONAL AROUSAL. and treasure them. her sexual attraction won't be far behind." she discusses how in order to make a woman really enjoy the first date. she'll remember them. So your first goal in creating the ideal first date is to imagine what you want your date to feel." So think about what kinds of fun emotions you want your date to associate with you. "science tells us. Any good emotions that you draw out during your date will forever be linked with you--and THAT'S a good thing! As Lowndes writes. Right here. unique. as well.
“Would you like to hear something funny?” Of course she will. girls LOVE to go on adventures. If your dream is nothing more than to settle into a nice house with a good dog in the suburbs. A little fear is a good thing to inject into your date. Here's my list of five things to talk about. there's no way she's not gonna want to see you again. But do it with a passion. 7 great things to discuss include: 1. Ask your date. sometimes scary but always thrilling. Because when she transfers the feelings of a rollercoaster ride or salsa class to you. A great place speaks great things about you."
2. be honest. Rather than talking all about yourself. exhilarating. What to Talk About
So. Funny stories.• • • • • •
Dance class. They let your date drop down. If you let her know that you’re on one. but present it in a humorous . let her know that you’re a PASSIONATE PERSON. particularly a rollercoaster ride Ice-skating
What's great about these date venues is that they don't require you to talk a lot to show what a great guy you are.and five topics to avoid. These places and activities THEMSELVES have the positive traits you want your date to link to you. the way you want your date to think of you. thrilling. So tell her. "someone is more likely to be attracted to another if he or she is emotionally aroused-even if the arousal does not come from the person. I particularly like rollercoaster rides because they create the emotions you want: fast-paced. because it allows YOU to come to the rescue of your date! Thus the reason scary movies and theme parks are so perfect.88 -
. having chosen a great place to take your date. Your dreams.. As I described with life purpose. she’ll want to come along for the ride! 2. particularly salsa (don't worry if you're not good at it-just having fun with it will mean she associates having fun with you) Scary movie (so you can hold her and reassure her everything will be all right!) Hiking Motorcycle riding Theme park. As Lowndes writes. in fact. is that they do. Without exaggerating.. like a horror movie or carnival ride. Who can resist a second rollercoaster ride? What's great about activities that can be scary. In short. tell her that. let the girl know that you have dreams for a better future. so you can pick her up! and you yourself don't have to have the perfect qualities of being fun. you've let your exciting place do most of the talking for you. Don’t make them up. and crazy--only your venue really does. present something interesting in the form of a story. make your date scared.
"Really?" she lightly whined. but I kept my ground. ATTRACTION IN ACTION: I went on this one date that was by far the easiest (and most successful) of all of them.. An awesome. So finally. and fruitful first (or even second or third) date! I met the girl outside the Spanish restaurant (which was very dark and intimate. though.. "Really?" she asked. "You'll see"/"You'll find out"/"Man you're impatient!" It was cruel fun. and actively listen.Make sure it's good. Her. tell her you have a dark secret you've never told anyone else.. Girls LOVE teasing. This works every time. and I was going to use it! I also teased her around. "Or the surprise is off. "Oh. She’ll become a lot more interested in you if you show that you’re interested. Teasing. all while she is very curious to see who this guest was. remember?) and told her I brought a friend along.. I like to bring a Pez dispenser and keep it secret. and loved it. "YES. "No. for example. So we ordered drinks. Humor is such a great aphrodisiac. No guy had ever done this to her before--I was different in a very attractive (if not devious) way. "You'll get to meet her later. It’s been proven to be tops on things girls want in a guy. so this automatically put me in power. can’t emphasize enough how important it is to LISTEN to a girl. I knew she loved it. So ask questions about HER dreams and HER goals. to which she'll say. Once you've exchanged pleasantries and made light conversation. so the way you talk. NOTHING quite communicates sexual tension like getting behind her and showing her how to shoot. and even though she protested. nothing creates curiosity quite like the word LATER. I highly recommend it if you want a quick. she had to close her eyes.way. got some appetizers. Secrets. Instant emotionally chemistry: she saw I had control. incredibly effective technique. easy." I ordered her. I love this simple." with a devilish grin.." Naturally. are GREAT ways to get her excited about passion. I had created an emotion in her: suspense. I told her she was about to meet the guest. But first. You're really afraid to tell her.. please! Tell me!" Then tell her a little bit by little bit. you'll have to wait. Girls are NOT good at waiting (especially the ones who want to get married. Guaranteed gold. you want to meet her now? Sorry. An object you have. 4.creating emotions. She asked heaps of questions about who it was. and the way you move. "Yup." Women . This technique is AWESOME.).. Yup." I said. awesome way of making a date exciting.drag it out the whole date. Bring a "prop" to aid your date. If you’re playing pool. after ordering our entrees (a good 30 minutes or so). So give it to them! 3. or it won't work! 6..89 -
but it’s also an easy way to lose her favor.. Hey. Geeky and dorky things: Okay. They’re between you and some friends. The same goes for racist humor. don’t bring up ANYTHING that has to do with science fiction. so keep it there.” Ask her if she’s a bad girl. Last but not least. Inside jokes are just that—inside jokes. there’s nothing wrong with sexual innuendo—it’s actually a great way of moving things on—but making jokes about women and anatomy is NOT gonna win you any points.) All by talking about little more than a Pez Dispenser. there are better things to talk about. ALWAYS a no-no!). video games. and made her laugh. It’s just a no-no. A Princess Leia Pez dispenser. If you have to explain a joke—it’s not funny! 4. “TALKING about sex is the first step towards having it. but sexual innuendo is GREAT. Most girls get pretty offended when you bring racial and sexual jokes into a conversation. who did she but. Yeah.respect a man with power and firmness. you can say that the date was a success. She’ll know what you mean. The rest of the date was smooth-sailing. sex. just that some make-believe "guest" was coming to dinner. ESPECIALLY since you never know exactly what her background is. I’ve talked to girls who looked Italian but were actually half-black. and I got invited to her apartment. ALWAYS. No. Politics is just a no-win situation. or what’s the craziest thing she’s ever done in her life—with a bit of innuendo added into your voice. Naturally. you don’t want to talk directly about how much you love it.. Now. When I gave her permission to open them (a light slap if I caught her peeking). and I hardly had to talk about anything at all. full of suspense. Three easy emotions. or anything else that attracts . I love Chris Rock’s jokes. It was a great surprise. the chances of you getting into an argument that goes nowhere is just too high. You DON’T want to offend those girls! 2. she laughed out loud. and get excited thinking about it. 3. Don’t even bother. 5 topics to avoid include: 1.90 -
. Even if you two actually agree politically. comic books. or about how great sex was with your last partner (ALWAYS. It’s an easy topic to fall back on if you have nothing to say. . which I’ll get to below. 7. As relationship guru brilliantly says. but I would NEVER talk about them when I’m first meeting a girl. unless you absolutely KNOW that the girl is a Trekky and a diehard Star Wars fan. so she complied. Let’s talk first about offensive humor—or anything offensive for that matter.
geeks and nerds." If you're dressed like a slob and don't meet women. clothes "dramatically influence a Potential Love Partner's perception of you"--and why not? As dating is like marketing." -Leslie Lowndes. how well you could care for her and her unborn children is in the back of her mind.91 -
. you have MUCH better things to talk about—or to listen to HER talk about. 5. you only have yourself to blame. how you carry yourself. and talking about these subjects—even if you’re a huge fan—does nothing but bury your status. a woman subconsciously listens to her genes. "Should I or shouldn't I?". Dress as if your dream woman could show up when you least expect it--because. The best thing to say is to either tease her. your makeup. You always want to communicate higher status than a girl. So they will try to test you by asking you about your past relationships. So treat yourself like a product. studies show that it would help your cause.." "Evolutionary theorists tell us that." "With men. your grooming. it signifies his ability to provide for her offspring. it can be an easy topic to talk about. she will! . honest. your hair. Past girlfriends and lovers—NEVER a good subject to talk about. She’ll respect you more for those things. As Lowndes writes. "Men's hunting gear is far more important to make the kill than a woman's is. and get the cue that there are better things to talk about. And I know. or to say. But the truth is. Even when she's wondering. Sex and relationships are two things girls ALWAYS have time to talk about it. When a man is well dressed. your friendliness--that's what scores. your nails. your "clothes" are your packaging--and we all know that packaging influences whether we buy or not. “Why? Are you jealous?”. which will put her in her place. step out dressed to kill. It may not seem fair. "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You" You are what you wear--at least in the dating world. I wish her the best. Why? Because women rate what a man wears a lot higher than a man rates what a woman wears. but we were just not meant to be together. precise.your Quarry. the higher his marks were in all six categories-including one-night nookie. but it was time to move on. While you may not want to wear a $900 Armani suit out. and present yourself right. And that’s a winner’s game!
3. • • What are the "right" clothes? "What it does mean is whenever you step out the door. even when considering a quickie.” Simple." says Lowndes. The risk of coming across as whiny and bitter are just too high.. but it's true. with something like. “I have nothing against my past girlfriend. Presentation
"The better dressed a man was. usually.
Hey.. take her on a wild ride.or did you struggle for conversation? Did you ask questions and listen to your date.or did you talk only about yourself? Did you avoid dangerous topics of conversation. such as politics and offensive humor? Did you initiate physical touch. Build a rapport. you may even have a happy ending. Here's a checklist that you want to be able to answer right at the end of every date: • • • • • • • Did you dress to impress?.or predictable and stale? Did your date location create the ideal emotions you want your date to associate with YOU?
If you can answer YES to all these questions.. you’re destined for success. How to Close the Evening
Ultimately. and there's no limit to how well your night can go.4.." by Ariel & Shya Kane • "The Real Rules"
.or did you dress like you just got out of bed Did you build a rapport?.. That makes YOU irresistible! Recommended Resources • "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You... how well your night goes depends on the EMOTIONS you burn into your date's mind.." by Leil Lowndes • "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work. or back away from any physical engagement? Was your date unpredictable and interesting.92 -
That means you have to think about your life purpose first.Or Break Up?
GOAL: To determine whether the girl you are with is worth staying with. The Way of the Superior Man With that said. alpha kind of guy. Missed opportunities with girls who better fit your path. you have to ask yourself these 10 questions in order to decide if a break-up is right for you: • Am I staying with your girlfriend ONLY because I feel I can't imagine a life without her? As David DeAngelo says in his Double Your Dating book. "Your enemies ARE Insecurity and Neediness. or never getting another girlfriend again. or losing the security of having a girlfriend..
POWER RESOURCE "How to Fall Out of Love: How to Free Yourself of Love That Hurts-And Find the Love That Heals." -David Deida. They are like hemlock and arsenic--either will kill your attraction when dealing with woman. just looking out for yourself. So you've been dating your girlfriend. Debora Phillips "Your purpose must come before your relationship." by Dr. or worth moving on from. and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer her full. undivided presence. disserves the universe. or perhaps you just don't trust her.. you have to be a stand-up. When it comes to a relationship gone stale. Whatever the reason. Because if she's not.don't ever think that a life devoid of your girlfriend means no happiness..93 -
. but you get to the point when you feel it isn't right. • • • • QUICK FACT: 95% of guys let their relationships go way longer than they're happy with! They fear breaking a girl's heart.DECISION POINT #5: AM I CONTENT WITH THE RELATIONSHIP I AM IN? 1. But what results? Misery. you don't want her to drag down your life. Never let a break-up or a bad relationship lower your lifestyle. She doesn't do it for you. If you've reached that point in the relationship when you feel like your existence and happiness are solely dependent on having . Fighting. he weakens himself.. our goal today is to decide if the Woman is right for you or not. Not being selfish. you're tired of bickering." Remember that only you have the power to find happiness. Make Up..If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose..
Ever notice that? The men with the biggest aura. Am I with a girl through someone else's choice? That is. Give a person the reward of independence and he will be your friend forever. career-driven woman but are dating a bimbo blonde who just wants to spend your money. This is just as bad. Move on. If you decided you want an intelligent. or close to what I want? Am I settling? If you're settling for a girl. give it up.. Am I staying with my girlfriend only out of sympathy out of fear? Sometimes a girlfriend threatens to kill herself if he leaves her.
"Although she would never admit it. Don't stick with a girl out of fear that you won't get another one. then it’s best to end the relationship now. stay with her. Girlfriends are not just lovers. empower your choice. The Way of the Superior Man • Does the though of my girlfriend being in my future make me happy? If thinking of her makes you happy. Remember Lesson 6 of Decision Point 1: If you tell yourself AFFIRMATIONS.94 -
. the biggest favor you can do is to make people INDEPENDENT of you. or even threatens him if he breaks up. The sex may be great. If the thought of spending another year with this girl drives you mental. Does my girlfriend fit into my LIFE PURPOSE? That is. You're not doing your girlfriend any favors by making her dependent on you. Expound your preferences. in fact. the biggest charisma. she's not a friend. But this philosophy is completely off-the-mark. Make the relationship about who YOU want."
-David Deida. she wants to feel that her man would be willing to sacrifice their relationship for the sake of his highest purpose. not about what OTHER PEOPLE want. are the ones who empower people. let them know what you're looking for. When you let people set you up with a girl. If someone doesn't support and encourage your purpose.fix yourself up. or try to detract me? If your purpose is to travel around the world and your girlfriend makes a fuss every time you want to travel somewhere. while a benevolent gesture. Does she embrace my purpose..•
this girlfriend. You feel you OWE IT to the people who set you up with the girl to make the relationship work. they're FRIENDS. Relationships are YOUR choice: YOU determine who you want to date. drop her. won't work if you're forced into a relationship with someone who doesn't fit into your path. you're settling for failure. but move on to a new girlfriend. and move on. if you say . and very unhealthy for both of you. mend the relationship and make up. Letting other people set you up. but is it worth it? Keep her as a booty call if you must. Is my girlfriend part of my CHOICE? Is she less than ideal. The ones who make them feel better about themselves. did someone set me up with her and I feel bad to admit that it didn't work? This is why blind dates and arranged relationships are so bad.
" then you know what? You'll get what you speak into being. Instead. then you'll also speak that into being. If you are relying exclusively on your girlfriend for happiness. You can both love each other. probably THE most important one." and broke up. any favors. and you don't have enough. Remember the lessons learned from Identity: Only YOU can determine your happiness. It's important in any relationship to be honest and communicate with each other. the next big question is: Does my girlfriend give me the chance to be myself? This is huge. You can't expect your girlfriend to be perfect. she has too much power. Both of them could be self-conscious. to comfortable in himself and not afraid to show people who he is. or does she depend on me? While love is about building each other up. but then.95 -
. but it's attractive to Logan's wife. or doesn't love what she has. a relationship doesn't exist with trust. It doesn't help your girlfriend. Logan. go find him. Do I depend on the girl. not being able to exist with one another. He's been really happy since. but they're not. If you can't trust that your girlfriend will be faithful to you. if you're always telling yourself. and that's all that matters. but needing one another. If you want someone else. then she's probably not right for you. show her your power. A solid relationship is one in which both partners feel good about THEMSELVES while being with each other. truly love each other for who each other is. and a really fat guy. With that said. Do I or my girlfriend always call to see where the other is? Is there trust? As you will learn in the upcoming lessons of Decision Point 6. "I can only be me. Does your girl allow you to be comfortable in your own skin? To be yourself? Or does she want you to be someone else? Does she complain about who you are? Hey. Conversely. Now I ask you: does your girlfriend help make YOU feel comfortable with who you are? If she tells you to be someone else. and she has to accept that. he found a girl . feels so much love from his girl that he has no problem going out in Speedos and tank tops! Suuure. being needy and dependent on others for happiness does not do anyone. then move on. If commitment and honesty are important to you (and you're committed and loyal back!) let her know that. If you can't tell her how you feel. nobody's perfect. They really. I know this one couple that's a really skinny girl. this isn't too attractive to guys like me." Well. and it doesn't help you. neither can she expect that of you. the fat guy. I'm not good enough. I have a friend whose girlfriend always asked him why he couldn't be someone else? Why couldn't he be taller? Why couldn't he wear nicer clothes? Why couldn't he play music? Finally this guy said. is a serious condition that needs to be fixed. "I am attractive to girls and I will get girlfriends.•
something like. "I can't get another girlfriend. Consider the power of words in your fate. because he doesn't have her negative vibes telling him he's not good enough. He went from being insecure and afraid to go in public.
So be honest and faithful. if she cannot or will not open in love. she probably won't take you back. What goes around. but he should serve her and love her with every ounce of his skill and perseverance." by Dr. Debora Phillips • "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. cheat. Finally. Even though I urge you to be faithful to your girlfriend. They want to explore other girls.then that's the way the world is going to treat you back. and you can enjoy being with as many women as you want." by Leil Lowndes • "The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love. Then at least she can move on to a guy who is. at least be honest with your girlfriend and tell her you're not ready for commitment." by Dr. some guys can't handle that.. harboring no anger or resentment. Problem is. You won't regret it. Show them love. Am I committed to commitment? This is also a big one." Then they find out that they don't get any girls. as well." by Dr." by David Deida
." -David Deida.comes around. Remember this: You get what you give.and is happy with who he isn't. Harville A. and be selfish. and you'll get it back.. And you'll be left in the cold. and run back to their old girlfriend with their tail between their legs. he might decide to end his relationship with her.96 -
. because he knows he has done everything he could.." by Ariel and Shya Kane • "The Way of the Superior Man. The Way of the Superior Man Recommended Resources • "How to Fall Out of Love: How to Free Yourself of Love That HurtsAnd Find the Love That Heals. Then. If so.. Be careful.. though: Lots of guys leave girlfriends thinking they can "upgrade. Hendrix • "Working on Your Relationship Doesn't Work.. There are plenty of girls out there who are full of love. If all you do is take. Susan Jeffers • "Keep the Love You Find.
QUOTABLE QUOTE "A man shouldn't tolerate bitchy and complaining moodiness in his woman.•
who loves him for who he is.
doesn't care. PAUSE for a little bit…Keep pushing the limit until you can not answer the question at all." Ever wonder why women cheat? Unlike men. SUBMISSIVE. while firmly looking her in the eye. so the women will remember you.” Vocal celibacy is especially useful for attracting women when you are single. and caring--in one shot! • • • There's a certain power in not talking. doesn't love them. to assert your control." He says. It's for EMOTIONAL ones. it’ll increase your confidence immeasurably. Practice what Xuma calls "vocal celibacy. fearful. She’ll try to make you feel uncomfortable…if you can handle that. and silence IS dominance. They love a guy who shows dominance. Make a person wait for your response. Make them sweat a little--this makes you different than most people. loving. But it also helps when you are in a relationship. Carlos Xuma. don't rush to answer or comment. It's because they feel their mate doesn't understand them. Women LOVE this. you accomplish all three duties--understanding." So. It's the power of suspense." explains that "Not answering is gaining control. Listening Skills
GOAL: Learning the value of listening towards building a better relationship An old proverb goes. it's subtly saying that you're more important and you'll do things in your own time. as if you've seriously given thought. Just a second or two extra pause can make a person nervous.DECISION POINT #6: HOW DO I DEVELOP THE RELATIONSHIP? 1. Furthermore. "The next time a woman asks you a question. answering our phone on the person anxiously gives UP control. pause. silence by wisdom. making a person wait for your response gives you SO much control. if you listen well. "Talking comes by nature. and you send a subtle message that women can read loud and clear: YOU'RE IN CONTROL. author of "Dating Dynamics. it's not really for physical reasons. YOU ARE THE BOSS. .97 -
Make sure you're looking at her as you do this. For example.will blossom! Recommended Resources . It's an awesome way to show that you're paying attention. but that doesn't mean she cares. and use it when you're first getting to know your date or girlfriend. and that you love her--all in one.. and "What happened then?" show that you're into her story. okay" are great for letting your woman know you're listening. and "Oh. Not only do you show you are listening now.. Just show empathy or interest before sharing a similar story. and want to know more.98 -
. Just a simple "uh-huh". this will KNOCK HER SOCKS OFF and just up your attraction meters to unseen heights. Here are five great ways to show your lover you're interested in her--even if you're not! 1 Nodding. how do you use listening for love? You have to actively show you're listening. simple nodding shows that you're paying attention to your woman. 3 Assertions.” or whatever. will make a girl’s blood turn hotter than fire. the same happened to me. Now. 4-Repetition.. that you care. though. but that you were listening the whole time! She will absolutely love you for this. She'll love for you for that. One killer method is to repeat back what she just said--and with amazement in your voice. "I can't believe that girl did that! How do you work with her?!?" Guaranteed to make your woman love you. Use it in a relationship. Asking your girl simple things like "Really?". Questions are great for showing you're interested. if your girl is talking about how much she hates another woman at work--something that's SURE to come up--then you can say. She'd rather be heard and understood. and your love. “You know. Yeah. guaranteed.. I was just amazed by that story you told me about wanting to be a doctor. Don't be quick to reply. "Are you kidding". She'll never cheat on you. 5-Don't be quick to respond with "I know what you mean" or "Yeah. Saying something like. then told something that's a mirror of what she just said. Repeat back something she told you earlier in the conversation." You may have a similar story or experience to the one the girl is describing. Guys. It WORKS. Nodding while facing the TV does NOT count! 2 Questions. through the spoken and body language. so pausing and listening give you power.Okay.or she'll be quick to move on! And the all-time best listening technique: 6. "yeah".
Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps. and Women Need More Shoes. by Dr. by Daniel Goleman
. by Helen Fisher How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. Harville A. by Leil Lowndes Why Men Don't Have a Clue. by Barbara and Allan Pease Keeping the Love You Find. by Barbara and Allan Pease The Anatomy of Love. Hendrix Emotional Intelligence.99 -
Quality Time EXERCISE • It's not always easy to know exactly love language your girlfriend practices. While some people feel loved most when they get presents or are touched. Graham Chapman's "The Five Love Languages". as described by Dr.100 -
." This is a great opportunity to talk with your girlfriend or wife. but there's a quick way you can find out: http://www. some quality time with your partner--then there's nothing to stop you from enjoying one another for years to come. This lesson isn't just about how to love your partner. or acts of service (such as cleaning the house for your lover). and how you can use them to increase the love in your relationship to unseen heights. others require words of praise. you're missing out. not handing over gifts: just doing a simple service. Acts of Service 2. love goes both ways. and you might just find your bond increase. Many people have a combination of love languages.2.
GOAL: To understand what love languages are. and your problems decrease. they are "multi-lingual". such as .fivelovelanguages. Remember. Physical Touch 5. The five love languages. Let's look at each of these love languages in detail: 1 Acts of Service. Words of Praise 3. a gift here and there. and increased happiness for both of you. Sounds good? Listen on. Chapman. If you haven't read Dr. are: 1. If you can successfully "speak" your girlfriend's or wife's love language(s). but how to get your partner to love you. Some women enjoy a man doing things for her. Not buying things.html • Take the 30 second quiz on this website to see what love language or love languages you and your partner "speak.com/30sec. If you're honest with each other about what your NEEDS are--words of praise. you'll be on the way to fewer problems. so to speak. greater love. Gifts 4. The book explains that people have different "love styles". And so is your lover. just by taking the time to state what matters to each of you most.
security.” Simple stuff. tell her you *need* her. Believe me. By saying the words. If this also means she needs lots of sex. you're going to bring untold of happiness to your girl. • • • • Finally. a surprise 4-Physical Touch. Many women have quality time as their language of love. Girls love to be needed. have a nice dinner out. Some women need physical contact to feel loved. Hey. This is all about your PRESENCE. Some girls just need to be told that they’re doing a good job. in a related topic. “I really like the way you’ve done your hair. "I need you". one full day or night together will go a loooong towards bringing back the love in your relationship. or simply explaining how much she means to you.and loving you more.” or “That painting you made is really awesome.. there are such women who do feel valued by having their partner make love to them. but it goes a long way towards establishing and reclaiming love in your relationship. not quantity of time. It's a commitment. Telling her how you couldn't imagine a life without her is an amazing way of making her feel better. This doesn't mean buying her a new car or a Tiffany watch. some women love gifts. It's all about quality time.101 -
. To make her feel NEEDED. No matter what.or making it soar to levels it's never been before. It doesn't have to be boring. . and LOVE all in one. This is when you should tell a girl. this is time you spend with your girlfriend or wife. if you really want to show a woman your love. consider yourself a lucky man! And believe me... it's validation. 5-Quality Time. go to a concert together. A few good hours getting to know each other and doing things together has been shown to raise the level of intimacy like nothing else. a ring on her pillow.2 Words of Praise. a surprise bouquet of flowers at work. just showing you care with the occasional physical present. Surprise is a great element here. Who knows? Maybe you'll find you prefer spending time with your partner to going out with the boys. But does this mean you have to sacrifice your time with the boys watching football or playing some hoops? Hell no! It's much more important to women to spend one good hour together than have you spend five hours in which you'd rather be ANYWHERE else.. EXERCISE One way I suggest you show this love language is by setting at least one night that you spend together. Do something fun that you can both enjoy: go to a theme park. Sometimes it's not enough to buy gifts or have the occasional sex. 3 Gifts. It just has to be time that you show you enjoy being around her. Women need to have you AROUND. they need to know you're there.
she'll be so happy that she'll let you spend all the time you want with the boys. now!
Recommended Resources "The Five Love Languages.•
You'll be amazed by the change in her attitude.fivelovelanguages.all because you made her day. buying you presents. tell your girl you need her. doing great things for you. You may not even have to spend so much quality time with her. So guys." by Gary Chapman http://www.com/30sec...102 -
. Don't be surprised if she starts serving you meals.html
But always suspecting someone of doing bad things does NOT lead to trust. 2. 3. One of my female friends was . of course. you have to respect hers. or who loves country when you love rock ‘n roll. Mack. But he also respects that change is not easy. which is… 3-Looking Out For Your Partner Sometimes your partner has traits that aren’t good for anyone. In fact. that doesn’t mean she has to let Mack continue to hurt himself by constantly drinking. That’s a winner’s game! 4-Showing Trust In Each Other. but strong couples accept EVERYTHING about the person. When Mack gets drunk. that you should be shouting at each other every time you find something wrong with the other. I’ve got a cousin whose husband. when she’s too weak to look out for herself. they just deal with who they are. In fact. there’s skill #3. You have to state your complaints firmly. A solid relationship doesn’t exist without trust. So a truly loving person looks out for his partner. At the same time. If she’s worth your time. you should certainly act on it. she’ll respect your opinions and emotions. but also respectfully. If you have a reason to be suspicious of infidelity. Even though she loves him. 2-Loving Every Part of Your Partner It may not be easy loving someone who has the opposite political views. This doesn’t mean. and doesn’t expect instant transformation. Educating Yourself About Relationships Educating Yourself About Yourself. but not by meekly stating your objections. Hendrix's Four Steps to Keeping the Love You Find: 1. 4. it often leads to the opposite.103 -
. and Training Yourself in the Skills of Relationships Do what you can to change the behaviors and character defenses that are keeping you from keeping the love you find.3. intimacy. including himself. either. You have to be honest with your partner in how you feel. Likewise. is a vehement drinker.
Dr. But trust comes with time. and other relationship skills
Required Skills for Any Relationship to Work: 1-Being Honest With Each Other. one of the most difficult skills is telling your partner in the RIGHT WAY. he’s a danger to everyone. There are no conditions for their love. Not by shouting. Finding the balance requires true skill that comes with time.
GOAL: Building a relationship up by developing trust.
and simply tolerates his woman's self-destructive moods. by Dr. Here are five steps for moving from anger to positive. The response should be positive and loving.always loyal to her boyfriend. but he never believed her.. That way. loving action. Consciously acknowledge to yourself that you are angry. Some wrongs are minor and some are major. honestly but gently. it is a sign of WEAKNESS. 5-Building Each Other Up. You have set the stage for applying reason to your anger. . If the person has truly wronged you. His attitude has become one of wanting to escape women and the world. The two most constructive options are to lovingly confront the person or to consciously decide to overlook the matter. Avoid the common but destructive responses: verbal or physical venting.When a man resigns. but he should serve her and love her with every ounce of his skill and perseverance. Say the words out loud. Restrain your immediate response. or their opposite. locate it. You weren't put together just for love. How has he or she wronged you? Then determine the seriousness of the offense. YOU’RE the victim. Locate the focus of your anger. The Way of the Superior Man Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. that you do not accept her behavior. Analyze your options. Knowing its seriousness should affect your response. “I am angry about this! Now what am I going to do?” Such a statement makes you aware of your own anger and also helps you recognize both your anger and the action you are going to take. Sometimes that means not tolerating your partner's irritable behavior and telling her. Screw it! I might as well cheat on him. So the constant accusations actually led her to finally say." -David Deida. What words or actions by the other person have made you experience anger? Whatever the cause of your anger. A man shouldn't tolerate bitchy and complaining moodiness in his woman.104 -
. identify the person’s sin. withdrawal and silence. if she is actually screwing around behind your back. Gary Chapman We can process our anger in a productive manner. Conflict Resolution: Finding Hope in Anger's Clothing. You are SOUL PARTNERS and are meant to help each other grow. "Bloom her into fullness. you’re in the clear. rather than wanting to serve women and the world into love.
" Dr. If the person admits that what he or she did was wrong and asks you to forgive. Why stop when love is your greatest weapon for good and growth? Consider the possibility of accepting in your mate some imperfection that has irritated you for years. but feelings should not dictate your actions.105 -
. You do not have to feel anything to love your spouse. Chapman's "Six First steps to a new beginning (from newlyweds to empty-nesters) Having confessed your failures and accepted God’s forgiveness. do so gently. by Barbara and Allen Pease Save Your Marriage Before It Starts.Take constructive action. by Les & Leslie Parrott The Five Love Languages. Why not start today? Make this the greatest year of your marriage. Here Dr. by Dr. Express love to your mate by word or action once each day for the next month. If you decide to accept it. no matter how you feel. Forget about your feelings. Listen to any explanation." Forgiveness. Feelings may change because of your actions. ask your partner to forgive you. Do not allow your mate’s reaction to stifle your love. it can give you a different perspective on the person’s actions and intentions. while not easy. is necessary. Nothing your mate does can stop your love as long as you choose to love. Harville A. and Women Can't Read Maps. Chapman writes. McGill wisely quoted: "There is no love without forgiveness. unconditional love for more than a year. Hendrix Why Men Don't Listen. Few individuals can resist genuine. and their whole marriage has been turned around. As Bryant H.savemymarriagetoday. Gary Chapman Save My Marriage Today: http://www. love has begotten love. do so. by Dr. "If you choose to lovingly confront the person who has wronged you.com . Perhaps you could begin with a compliment each day for the next week. Such acceptance can be a positive step in your own emotional growth. and there is no forgiveness without love. GREAT RESOURCES FOR RELATIONSHIP SKILLS: Keeping the Love You Find. Choose to love your mate. Many have found that in less than a month. be sure to tell your mate.
Double Your Dating By David DeAngelo I’ve discovered a great book called “Double Your Dating” by David DeAngelo.106 -
.. It’s especially effective for picking up beautiful women. If you want to learn how to be a player and turn the tables on women who play mind games (and get them intrigued and fascinated by you instead!). you’re a challenge. by Daniel Goleman
Wait! There’s More Great Resources for You from Triple 0 Relationships. Here are two of the best online books that I’d recommend to learn more. David decided to go straight to the source. a regular guy who for the longest time. no matter what the cost. there was no quality information available for guys like him who wanted simple yet effective techniques for sparking a woman’s interest from the start and getting her to actually come onto him . by Leil Lowndes Why Men Don't Have a Clue. As a result. But he’s a smart. then this book is for you.com!
After you’ve thoroughly explored the resources in the Members Area. by Helen Fisher How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You.The Anatomy of Love. and Women Need More Shoes.. and YOU’RE the one in control. educated regular guy .. who play games better than anyone else. Several years ago. Once you’ve read this book. couldn’t figure out why he didn’t have the success with women he wanted. He read everything he could find about women and dating. by Barbara and Allan Pease Emotional Intelligence. you’ll find that women can’t get enough of you. and was disappointed to discover that for the most part. even if she was cold to him at first! Frustrated but determined. He sought out the few guys he knew who were unbelievably successful with . he made the decision in his life to do whatever it takes to get this whole “dating” thing down. like so many others. you’ll know exactly what to do to show these women that you’re not like other guys out there who give them everything you want. you may find that you like more information. Author David DeAngelo didn’t start out knowing this tips..
. He asked around and found more and more of these naturals. There are simple things that you can do to separate yourself from 99% of the other guys out there. and soon “Double Your Dating” was born. he explains how to develop the traits in yourself that drive women wild. several of them were down right broke and ugly! But they definitely had some kind of “power” that other guys didn’t. There is nothing you will have to memorize or study.women.95 via my exclusive link for 000Relationships. In his book. In fact. and after hanging out with these guys for a while. and how to take things to a “physical” level smoothly and easily. and David spells them out for you in plain English. no matter where you’re at in the dating game. And. and sat down and picked their brains for every last piece of information he could dig up. His friends begged him to let them in on his secret.000relationships. Claim your copy of “Double Your Dating” for only $19. He covers specific strategies and techniques for starting conversations with women. If you want to be a player and drive women wild. David started to figure out exactly what it was. You can start using what you learn right away. Once you know it and master it. Women won’t be able to understand why it’s so effective! David has finally unraveled the “bad boy” mystery and explains exactly why some guys “get all the chicks”. by using the same mind games that women use on you. sure enough. “Double Your Dating” is an absolute must read for any man. David explains his step-by-step process for meeting and attracting women. He was surprised to find that many of these guys weren’t rich or handsome. then the techniques in this book are for you.com/doubleyourdating/
. it worked for them too! David had put together a complete system for meeting and dating women that any guy could use. getting their phone numbers and email addresses. The techniques in the book are practical and easy to use. you can attract any woman you want. You know. It took some time. any time you want.com members! http://www. and why you don’t have to be a bad boy or a jerk to be successful with women. inexpensive and cheap date ideas. the guys in high school that you never stopped hearing about. They convinced him that he had to write a book. More importantly. but before long David himself was getting women like crazy.