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Emily Oliveira

do legacies get a leg up?

upfront music booze theatre
Eulogy for FishCo Mash-ups Whip It Good No Frills Shakespeare
2 upfront
I’m absentminded too. So, in commiseration with the BDH, I offer
the following (barely embellished) anecdote from my past. 03 upfront
WHERE DID FISHGO? \\ ella evans
I’m thirteen. Like I do every Tuesday, I’m babysitting for Charlie and
Jack. Charlie demands a lot of attention—I have to chase him around a POST- IT NOTES \\ post- staff
bit, throw him a baseball, feed him some pizza. Jack, though, he kind
04 feature
Kate Doyle
of does his own thing. He’s a cool little kid. Damn well looks out for
Managing Editor of
himself. So much so that on this particular afternoon, well—I forget STIGMATRICULATION \\ charles pletcher
Amelia Stanton about him. I take Charlie down the street to play and it hits me—Sh*t!
The other kid! I left him behind! What’s wrong with me! IT’S NOT
Managing Editor of
Arts & Culture
LIKE I DON’T DO THIS EVERY TUESDAY! I sprint back to the house, 05 arts & culture
Sam Knowles but it’s too late. The horror! How real the consequences are! GIRL CRAZY \\ clayton aldern
Managing Editor of HAUNTED HOMELAND \\ divya bharadwaj
(Oh, actually how real, you ask? Okay, suppose Jack were, like
... eh, I don’t know. A weekly arts & culture magazine? Like, as an
Matthew Klebanoff
example, in that case, there’s no way he’d make it to press in time for 06 arts & culture
Features Editors Thursday morning. He’d have to print on Friday. Real like that. Just as
Ana Alvarez
an example.)
Fred Milgrim AND THE OSCAR GOES TO... \\ zack mezera
Music Editor There’s only one way to fix a situation like this. I sheepishly beg
Eric Sun Jack’s forgiveness, and then, as you’d expect, extend a lavish offering
of pizza to him and all his friends.
07 food & booze
Theatre Editor
Emma Johnson
RAVENOUS RAPTURE \\ rémy robert
It’s strikes me as only fair, after all. Like I said—I give Charlie pizza WHIP IT \\ ivy alphonse-leja
Film Editor
Priyanka Chatterjee all the time.

Literary Editor Thank God it’s Friday? Eh, perhaps.

08 sex & etiquette
Jennie Young Carr CROTCH BOTCH \\ mm

Lifestyle Editor Better late than never, GETTING CANDID(A) \\ lovecraft & dorian
Sakina Esufally EMILY POST- \\ emily post-
Layout Editor
Clara Beyer

Graphics Editor
Katerina Dalavurak
Copy Chiefs
Julia Kantor
Kathy Nguyen

Web Editors
Peter Drinan
Michael Enriquez

Jane Brendlinger
Rémy Robert
Lovecraft & Dorian
Emily Post-

Copy Editors
Kate Brennan
Jacob Combs
Christina McCausland
Justine Palefsky
Kristina Petersen
Charles Pletcher
Emma Ramadan
Ash Sofman

Staff Writers
Clayton Aldern
Gopika Krishna

Staff Illustrators
Katerina Dalavurak
Anish Gonchigar
Phil Lai
Kelly Winter

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely...naked? As You Like It undress-
es in the Forest of Arden, or rather Stuart Theatre, this weekend and next. Be there within
Post- Magazine is pub- an hour of your promise to catch this band of motley fools, for neither rhyme nor reason
lished every Thursday can express how very epic ‘tis like to be.
in the Brown Daily

Herald. It covers books,
theater, music, film,

food, art, and University


culture around College
Hill. Post- editors can FEAT. AUTOBOT OF FLOSS- 8TH ANNUAL SPRING SHOW Salomon 001
Alumnae Hall l Fri. & Sat. 7 pm

be contacted at post. TRADAMUS AND CO. l Fri. 9 pm

magazine@gmail. The Salon (57 Eddy Street) Tickets will be sold for $4 at the
com. Letters are always
l Fri. 10 pm JWW Post Office
welcome, and can be
either e-mailed or sent

4 5
to Post- Magazine, 195 FUNK NITE RETURNS

Angell Street, Provi- Stuart Theatre

dence, RI 02906. We The Underground l Thu. to Sat. 8 pm
claim the right to edit l Fri. 10:30 pm
Sun. 2 pm
letters for style, clarity,
and length.
FRIDAY, MARCH 4, 2011 3
Things We Don’t Want To Read On Twitter

1 iamdiddy: I can’t say when but I can say

we are coming to BROWN UNIVERSITY!!!! 6 she_who_must_not_be_named:
Just transferred to NYU!

2 charliesheen: I can’t say when but I can say

we are coming to BROWN UNIVERSITY!!!! 7 the_real_k_berge: Donated the cape
to Goodwill!!

3 work_ethic_at_mailroom: Account
Inactive. 8 bdh: @post- free pizza ain’t gonna
what we’re doing
this week

4 weedy_mcweederson: @dragonlady
yo where you at??
9 ThetaDeltaChi: Broken laundry machine
... NAKED RUN!!!
rediscovering the tran-

5 10
73ch_hizzouse: No hot water in Hark- scendence that is “I’ll Be
ness ... au naturel until further notice. Gail: Hi. Missing You” in prepara-
tion for Diddy’s arrival. Oh
Faith Evans, where have
featurette you gone?

Where did FishGo? BOOKS is

eulogy for wednesday night ... f*ck books. Have you
ella EVANS seen the new iPad?
contributing writer
Telling people about FishCo who
didn’t know about FishCo is always a FILM is
trip. watching Johnny Depp as
The stories were told in the bruises,
stains, and fuzzy-edged hours that were
a lizard in Rango. Another
our Thursday morning bedmates, al- fetish to add to the list.
ways sticking around longer than the Phil Lai
human ones. They were legendary
nights—despite the fact that we could TV is
anticipate the increasingly hazy chap- banging seven-gram rocks
ters of the night practically by rote,
we always went back on Wednesdays. with Charlie Sheen. It’s a
What other venue could promise the de- bi-winning situation,
bauchery of Halloween FishCo, all glit-
ter and fishnets and guys in giant fruit baby.
costumes spilling most of their shots divided. In part by circumstance and however, as so many victims of the ‘Co
of tequila? Or survive the ordeals that
were the First FishCos, those crowded
legality, Olives and Colosseum seem to
have laid claim to distinct party-going
can attest, can sometimes go too far. In
a recent scandal that could hurt the fu- THEATRE is
and sweaty initiatory rites of passage segments of the Brown student body. ture of Colosseum’s relationship with feeling frisky — heading off
ushering in each new semester? Per- “I never liked the Fish Company,” Brown, two students in attendance
haps Brian Alexander ’11, no stranger to says Olives manager and Brown alum last week alleged that they were as- for a romp in the Forest of
the Fish Company’s delights, put it best: David Tapalian ’97. “It was too much saulted and forcibly removed by some Arden to flirt with Orlando,
“Sloppiness was not only tolerated, it a mix of younger people, older people, of the club’s bouncers who took issue
was expected as a prerequisite for at- and they really crammed them in.” with their dancing style (“Students Al- make poetry with Rosalind,
tendance.” While Tapalian likely hopes for a simi- lege Assault by Colosseum Bouncers”). and, potentially, pander to
In the fall of 2010, to the dismay of its lar level of cramming at Olives, there While the owner of Colosseum issued
fun-loving faithful, the Fish was hooked will be no comparison in terms of age an apology the next day, the hackles a panda. Because after a
and grilled by the Providence Police’s variety. “We are a real 21+ establish- are up on the backs of many Brown long week, that’s the way I
Underage Drinking and Nightclub ment,” Tapalian says, and he’s deter- students in reaction to this and other
Safety Task Force. It was the end of an mined to keep it that way, though he reported antagonistic run-ins with the
like it. Grr.

era, and for those of us FishCo regulars isn’t ignorant of the competition that staff of the club. It is this exact sort of
who morn, the question lingers—what hormone-hyped 18+ clubs such as Col- situation that fortifies Tapalian in his
will the Wednesday nights of the fu- osseum pose. Trusting in a decreased commitment to Olives’ strict ID policy.
ture hold? “FishCo cannot be replaced,” cover charge and two-for-one drink It’s “a double-edged sword,” Tapalian
reveling in the glory
says Jeremy Harper ’11, and he’s prob- specials to draw enough thirsty, of-age says, but “in this business you never of the portable grilled
know what’s going to happen.”
ably right. So now that our Wednesdays college patrons to his bar, the manager
Those of us lamenting the loss of
cheese machine. Never
have shed their sticky, fishy skin, what has sought to bring together “a more
new creature will emerge? mature crowd.” FishCo are also finding it hard to imag- before has self-imposed
Two contenders, a bar and a dance Meanwhile, thrill-seeking under- ine what’s going to happen now. It is exile to the SciLi been so
club, appear to be leading the pack. Ol- and upperclassmen have been flock- altogether unlikely that a true replace-
ives and Colosseum each represent an ing to Colosseum, where both the ment is on the near horizon. The ‘Co appealing.
aspect of the FishCo magic that has been Brown-specific floor and one open toed the magical line between a 21+
lost. Their valiant efforts appear to be
paying dividends—each has established
to the public admit anyone over the
age of 18 and issue bracelets to those
bar and an 18+ dance club. Its ID policy
was notoriously slack, and hungrily did
Brown-exclusive parties on Wednesday who can provide a 21+ driver’s license. both young and old wolves descend. It making gin and tonics
nights, banking on our midweek drink- The club boasts a much larger dance was the Wednesday afternoon inevita-
ing impulses, and each has enjoyed see- floor than FishCo or Olives, as well as bility, that inclination tickling the back with Tanqueray or Bom-
ing capacity crowds and long, snaking lounge areas for the taking of breath- of the mind: to Fish or not to Fish? Its bay Sapphire. Staying
lines. But can either destination draw ers in between Major Lazer bangers. appeal was broad, its stories notorious,
the potpourri of partiers that graced the These features attract some seniors and whether it is ultimately Olives,
classy amid mid-semester
FishCo floors on so many nights? It is such as Trevor Mundt ’11, who has Colosseum, or another destination that bullsh*t.
perhaps too soon to declare a definitive hopes of “getting FishCo-rowdy.” fills the Wednesday night void, there
answer, but for now, the masses appear The potential for such debauchery, might never be another place like it.
4 feature

do legacies get a leg up?
charles PLETCHER
contributing writer
The college admissions process is of admission are multiplied by a factor legacies and secondary legacies.) Should fice builds up the University the way that
broken and we don’t know how to fix of 3.13 due to legacy status.” That’s all they be penalized for the happenstance Socrates (probably with tongue firmly in
it. Experts point fingers in every direc- well and good, Mr. Hurwitz—but what of privilege? cheek) describes the building of a city in
tion: “Generation Y is too entitled”; do you really mean? “If the non-legacies Of course not. The trouble here is the Republic: each inhabitant occupies
“Competition is too stiff”; “Demo- were awarded an odds admissions ad- that admissions practices blur the line his or her space in the social order and—
graphic X is categorically less qualified vantage of 3.13, their predicted accep- between Thomas Jefferson’s “natural ar- BAM!—city.
than Demographic Y”—the list goes on. tance rate would increase by 23.3 per- istocracy” (based on “virtue and talent”) So why do experts scapegoat legacies
Ultimately, these same experts must centage points, from 19.0% to 42.3% [as and his “artificial aristocracy” (based on as the locus of trouble in the meritoc-
either eschew their specialization and an average of a hypothetical student’s “wealth and birth, without either virtue racy? Shouldn’t the university just select
admit the system’s convoluted flaws, acceptance chances at 30 highly selec- or talent”). Doesn’t the applicant born whoever fills each slot best? I’d hazard
or make a decision: accept that the tive, private colleges and universities’].” into wealth have greater leeway to culti- that it’s because legacies are an easy tar-
process is unfair and work to change There we go. vate virtue and talent, despite Jefferson’s get: the data, as we saw above, is on its
it. Their multifaceted blame is nothing Part of this boost, at least at Brown clever qualification? own hyperbolic and for that, incredibly
other than a tacit acceptance of admis- but probably at many other institutions, Professor Luther Spoehr, Senior Lec- polysemous.
sions’ inherent unfairness and a flaccid might come from a support mecha- turer in Education and History at Brown, I spoke to Brown Provost David
attempt at change. nism provided by the University. Sev- was kind enough to speak to me about Kertzer about the issue of meritocracy
Of the demographics one could eral anonymous sources confirmed that the historical roots of elitism in higher regarding perceived preferential treat-
choose to blame—transfers, athletes, Brown offers a sort of secondary college
polyglots, etc.—legacies, students with counseling office to help children of
family ties to their universities, often Brown legacies with their college appli-
play the scapegoat. I had a chance to cations—not only to Brown, but to other
speak to several Brown and Yale stu- schools as well. I’d speculate that this
dents and alumnae with legacy sta- additional counseling consists of equal
tus. In every respect, they’re indistin- parts generosity and appeasement: it’s a
guishable from other students: their great service to offer to alumni and their
academic accomplishments, extracur- children, but it smacks of Brown, Inc.,
ricular drive, and athletic feats speak making sure not to rebuff potential do-
for themselves. But across the board, nors.
each student that I interviewed noted Hurwitz’s study can’t account for
an awareness of a stigma surrounding speculation, however, so he demon-
legacy admissions and a concern that strates that the legacy boost generally de-
their peers view a legacy’s place in the creases with a decrease in legacies’ SAT
student body with, if not contempt, scores. Primary legacies (students whose
then at least a raised eyebrow. parents attended the same university to
Alexandra Robert Gordon ’91, which they’re applying) gain the great-
daughter of Stephen Robert ’62, men- est boost—a 50.3% greater likelihood of education admissions. He noted that at ment of certain demographics, including
tioned that this stigma was worse be- admission—when their scores are in the the turn of the 20th century, the schools legacies. It’s a touchy subject, and the in-
fore the advent of need-blind admis- 1450-1490 range—in other words, when in Hurwitz’s study were “elite but not terview was suitably uncomfortable. He
sions (at least for domestic freshman) their scores align most closely with elite selective.” Not only was just two percent mentioned that “the admissions com-
in the early 2000s. She clarified, “Stig- schools’ SAT averages. of the eligible population applying to mittee at Brown, like at all private uni-
ma’s maybe too strong a word, but I I think it’s fair to admit that 50.3% is college, but colleges also had admissions versities, views legacy status positively,”
worried that people would feel that an uncomfortably large bump for an ap- standards wildly different from those of and the legacy pool at Brown is no less
that’s why I’d gotten in.” Like many plicant to gain just because mom or dad today, standards that catered to an elite strong than the applicant pool at large.
of the current students I interviewed, attended the same school. But in The preparatory school education—for ex- The difficulty, he suggested, lies in how
Gordon said she felt a need “to justify Chronicle of Higher Education’s cover- ample, reading knowledge of Greek and we define merit: “A very limited defini-
[her] admissions in a way that non- age of the Hurwitz study, Elyse Ashburn Latin. tion of merit doesn’t promote excellence.
legacies didn’t.” reports, “[Richard Shaw, the dean of But by 1960, Professor Spoehr said, The challenge lies in building the rich-
One Brown junior noted that this Stanford admissions and financial aid] the percentage of the eligible popula- est possible university community.” He
stigma “causes you to question what said the university’s legacy admits are tion applying to college had jumped to optimistically threw out the statistic,
the breaking point for admissions is.” generally stronger than the median of forty, and has since only gotten higher. “We reject two-thirds of applicants with
He mentioned that his family stories the admitted class, based on quantita- He noted that at that time, Harvard legacy status”—but when Brown’s regu-
about Brown drew him to the Univer- tive measures, like test scores, rigor, and began admitting what they called “the lar admissions stands at nine percent, a
happy bottom quarter”—students who 33-percent legacy acceptance rate pres-
wouldn’t perform well academically but ents a discrepancy, at the very least.
who would nevertheless be thrilled with Does this discrepancy challenge the
their places at Harvard. During the Civil standards that we would like to hold as a
Rights era, measures of merit became Brown community? How do we even be-
more complicated than test scores and gin to articulate those standards as a col-
grades. Professor Spoehr cited a solu- lective? (I for one don’t have the time to
tion proposed by Barry Schwartz, a psy- tally thousands of votes.) The question at
chologist at Swarthmore College: put the stake in the legacy debate is not whether
name of everyone who falls above a cer- legacies are qualified students. Legacies
tain cutoff into a hat and pick a class. comprise a small segment of the admis-
Of course, no university would sub- sions population, and rather than blam-
scribe to such an egregiously aleatoric ing one segment for taking slots from
admissions process—cue complex ad- other qualified students—which isn’t
Emily Oliveira missions boosters, one of which happens the case—we need to articulate our ide-
sity, but like all of us, he was also drawn grades.” to be legacy status. al University and take a holistic look at
by the Open Curriculum and the pos- Dean Shaw’s observation—and pre- Every person that I spoke to was admissions to figure out how to achieve
sibility of crafting his own education. sumably, internal statistics to back it aware of their university’s need to build a that ideal. That includes, as Alexandra
Legacy status, he said, might be a leg up—points to one of the biggest flaws in class. More important than meeting any Robert Gordon pointed out, examining
up, but it won’t suffice for admissions. Hurwitz’s blame-game argument: stu- school’s expectation of quality is show- the underlying societal factors that pre-
In his recent article “The impact dents whose parents attended elite insti- ing that school how you fit in its incom- date many students’ college decisions.
of legacy status on undergraduate ad- tutions are more likely in general to have ing cohort. During my interview with the What does a fair admissions process look
missions at elite colleges and universi- received a richer socioeconomic (and Yale freshman, he related an anecdote like—where does it even start? If nothing
ties,” published in the December issue thus educational) upbringing. (Statisti- from his high school guidance counselor. else, Brown is the place that demands
of Economics of Education Review, cal evidence of these claims can be found Every university, he said, has customers we tackle these problems. We can point
Michael Hurwitz attaches a statistic to in Hurwitz’s SAT average distributions, to satisfy: the soccer team, the orches- fingers all we want, but just take a look
the admissions boost given to legacy which show that primary legacies have tra, the biomechanical engineering lab, at Hurwitz’s mess of data to see how far
applicants: “I estimate that the odds higher average SAT scores than non- etc. In some sense, the admissions of- that’s gotten us.
arts & culture
FRIDAY, MARCH 4, 2011 5
Girl Crazy
mash-up masters
clayton ALDERN
staff writer

Gregg Gillis could be a biomedi- work is extraordinarily dynamic. Gillis pose of the genre. In Girl
cal engineer. He graduated from Case pushes the boundaries of the genre, of- Talk’s “Smash Your Head,”
Western Reserve University with a fo- ten sampling upwards of 30 songs on a Biggie rapping on top of
cus in tissue engineering. But after en- four-minute track. “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John
tering the workforce, working R&D on This hyperactivity defines the core is inexplicably transcenden-
a project aimed at stimulating the in- of not only his albums but also the tal. The most artistically rel- Shixie
ner ear to induce sleep, Gillis abruptly live Girl Talk experience. Gillis does evant mash-up moments are
quit in May 2007. He had decided that not simply press play and mock-rage unexpected gems like this one. In cre- on the sweet music you’re used to, cre-
his blossoming side-project, a musi- on stage. His albums are hinted at, ating a dialogue between artists across ating something shockingly new from
cal “mash-up” experiment called “Girl but only playfully. The majority of the genres and history, each sample con- flavors your ears have clearly tasted
Talk,” would be a better day job. Minus Lupo’s show consisted of live re-work- tributes more than it would by itself. before. The best mashers give refresh-
one point for biomed, plus ten thou- ings of his pieces, accented by sweat, The dialogue generates a synergistic, as ing perspectives on old favorites, cast
sand for pop music. Our dear Lupo’s leaf-blower confetti showers, toilet pa- opposed to additive, effect and invokes samples in a completely different light,
played host to the master-masher last per, and inflatables roughly the size of a huge variety of emotions that often and generate effects that neither re-
Friday night, as we played witness to small whales. Essentially, a Girl Talk differ vastly from the sampled artists’ mixes nor filters can achieve. While
the monstrosity that is Gillis’s current show is a massive dance party with a intentions. This is where the genre tru- Girl Talk, DJ Earworm, and Milkman’s
live set and the melodic wrecking ball fantastic DJ spinning one dizzying ly reaches musical legitimacy. On “Jag musical ménage à vingt take the genre
that is the current manifestation of the banger (that just happens to feature kommer vs. Reptilia,” Divide & Kreate to a frantic and multifaceted extreme
mash-up genre. 500 artists). drapes Swedish singer Veronica Mag- in the form of hour-long mixes, artists
Girl Talk’s post-engineering mash- Zachary Lazar of the New York gio over The Strokes in a combination like The White Panda, DJ Tripp, and
up style builds on the efforts of artists Times Magazine describes Girl Talk’s that should make Julian Casablancas The Hood Internet (focusing on the
like 2ManyDJs (a Soulwax pseudonym) music as “ironic to the ironically in- question his job security. Indeed, the one-track-vs-one-melody approach)
and the success of Jay-Z/Linkin Park’s clined and like pure joy to the joyfully mash-up could be released as a stand- simultaneously serve up some of the
Collision Course album. Mashers digi- inclined.” The genre (of which Gillis is alone single. Bowie on the “Kids” track most delicious single-serving mash-up
tally sample the vocals of one song and largely regarded the reigning king) has generates frighteningly good genera- potatoes to date. In a world where pop
pair them, via tempo- and key-match- its roots in not taking itself seriously. tional dialogue (“Stardust Kids” by A music is often shallow and repetitive,
ing, with the beat of another. The genre Indeed, irony is often the goal. “Drake Plus D), and literally anything with a Girl Talk and company offer ingenuity:
is the musician’s mixed-media collage: & Diane,” a piece from LA/Chicago duo Jackson 5 sample on top of it is nostal- flushing out innovation from the mun-
a multidimensional, often multimodal The White Panda, is precisely what the gically stellar, testaments to the histor- dane. Perhaps even the Gregg Gillis-
manner of creative expression. Yet a title implies: Drake auto-crooning over ical endurance of great music. less biomedical engineering commu-
bit of a paradox arises when consider- John Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane.” Underneath it all, however, mash- nity can jam to that.
ing the product: despite the flatness The result is so satisfyingly silly that ups sound good for the same reason
that one would expect from exclusively your ears do a double-take. that salted chocolate caramels taste Check out post.browndailyherald.
sampling other artists, a good masher’s Irony, however, is not the sole pur- good: they offer just enough salty pinch com for Clay’s Top 10 Mash-ups!

Haunted Homeland
stories from a divided kashmir
contributing writer

I grew up in India, where Kashmir does it offer an insider’s view of the con- does not, however, cross the line into captures the uncertainty and fear a
is a constant, heartbreaking presence. flict, but it is also the first book written academic work or political commen- Kashmiri has to live with. One must
I would read news reports of stone in English by a Kashmiri about the re- tary. wonder if going to the next town to at-
throwing, deaths, and battles and feel cent state of affairs in the country. By telling the stories of ordinary peo- tend a relative’s wedding is worth the
a somewhat detached sorrow. After During the partition of India in ple, Peer captures the essence of quo- risk. Psychological and physical injury
Basharat Peer’s book Curfewed Night 1947, Hari Singh, the ruler of Kashmir tidian contemporary life in Kashmir. is always possible when civilians are
won a prestigious nonfiction award in had the choice of joining either India Upon his return to Kashmir, he meets a in the crossfire, forced to watch the
India, I was eager to read it. Not only or Pakistan. He, along with the popular childhood friend who was in a militant destruction of their homeland.
leader Sheikh Mohammed Abdullah, organization and is now a member of a In the midst of the fighting and
decided to join India. War soon broke pro-India political party. Peer strips this death, Curfewed Night holds on to the
out between newly split Pakistan and one-time militant and now politician of faith, courage, and hope of the people
India when tribesmen from a northern his labels, treating him simply as a long- Peer meets. They emerge scarred, but
province of Pakistan invaded Kashmir. lost friend. “Write about me, too,” he alive and thankful for it. He also re-
Two years later, the UN drew a cease- teasingly tells Peer as he hugs him. counts the simple joys that break the
fire line, called the Line of Control, Peer also recounts childhood memo- circle of fear, such as the excitement
between Pakistan-occupied and India- ries, recalling when separatists would of seeing childhood friends. “I would
occupied Kashmir. It still divides the play soccer in the vicinity of his school, meet these boys after a decade and feel
region today. guns hidden in their cloaks. They be- I had never been away,” he writes. Us-
Curfewed Night provides the Anglo- came heroic figures for young, mal- ing both informal interviews and his
phone world with an insider’s view of leable schoolboys. “From then on we own memories, Peer creates portraits
Kashmir. Peer succeeds because he does all carried our cricket bats inside our of everyone touched by Kashmir—by
not stop the narrative to debate how to pherans [cloaks],” Peer remembers, its beauty and its chaos.
resolve the partition. He just tells the “in imitation and preparation.” He is Ultimately, Peer gives us what the
people’s stories. mindful, however, of a mother’s despair facts and figures cannot—humaniza-
Peer provides the appropriate upon hearing that her son has crossed tion of one of the bloodiest conflicts in
amount of history and data for an out- the border to receive arms and military the world. A Punjabi officer chatting
sider to firmly grasp the context of Cur- training in the Pakistan-controlled part with Peer over a cup of tea tells him,
fewed Night. He puts forth various po- of Kashmir. Everyone knows that is as “I was a different man before I came
litical views, explores the sentiments of good as a death sentence. to Kashmir.” Curfewed Night shows
different groups toward the army and “I came back … I did not forget any- that warring Indian soldiers and the
extremists, and includes examples of thing while I was away. I came back to militants, just like the suffering com-
Katerina Dalavurak Kashmiri literature on the conflict. He write about Kashmir,” Peer insists. He mon man, are human after all.
6 arts & culture

Marissa Iliardi

Wills Sans Frills

shakespeare gets weird
jacob COMBS
contributing writer

When you think Shakespeare, words, there’s no famed “to be or not to part theatre and part installation, used
you think frills, ruffles, sword fights, be” speech in As You Like It that has en- its audience’s prior knowledge of the
tights. Men in tights, that is. But two tered into popular culture—giving Ridout original text to great advantage. The
productions of Shakespeare on cam- and his cast myriad chances to surprise production’s taut, drastically modified
pus, which were in the works while their audience. script followed the overarching plot
Post- took its brief vacation last week, A central component of Ridout’s of Hamlet, but allowed the audience
have forgone the traditional in favor direction is what he astutely calls “ci- members to fill in the gaps and sub-
of the unexpected. At a performance tation.” He argues that Shakespeare’s plots of Shakespeare’s original.
of one of these plays, you might be the plays are constantly in circulation within “There’s a reason I didn’t title it
only audience member. You might a “discursive space.” For any audience Hamlet,” Eacho says. “I don’t think it
experience a duel fought with mirrors. member, As You Like It stirs up numer- counts. When you cut out four hours
You might even see a panda onstage. ous associations relating to the play itself of a play, it doesn’t count as that play
As You Like It, a departmental or Shakespearean comedy in general. anymore.”
production directed by Visiting Pro- For Ridout, this discursive space makes Like Ridout, Eacho is intrigued by
fessor Nicholas Ridout, opened in Stu- it possible to approach the production in the idea of performance. Early on in
art Theatre last night. An exuberant an unconventional way, knowing audi- Shakespeare’s play, Hamlet accuses soliloquies are simply windows through
romp through the forest, As You Like ence members will arrive with different the other members of the Danish court which the audience accesses his mind.
It features an intricate set and a large preconceptions of the material. of inauthenticity—that is, acting. In do- “People had a lot of fun,” says Ea-
cast. The other production, Stand and Ridout’s take on As You Like It is in- ing so, he directly opposes the concept cho, adding that he was “surprised by
Unfold Yourself, directed by Doug Ea- tended to draw the audience’s attention of performativity, which, Eacho argues, how surprised people were by the expe-
cho ’11 billed itself as an “interactive to the performativity of the action. He alienates him disastrously from those rience. We’re doing a cool thing, but it’s
meditation on Hamlet for an audience hesitates to reveal any specifics of how around him. not something that’s completely new.”
of one.” Dark and introspective, the he is going to achieve this, but offers a “People ignore Hamlet’s relation- Nevertheless, both As You Like It
show went up in Production Work- tantalizing suggestion: “The people per- ship with the audience,” says Eacho. and Stand and Unfold Yourself prove
shop’s upstairs black box last week. forming it know full well that they’re per- Unlike other Shakespearean charac- that there are new possibilities to ex-
In As You Like It, Ridout seizes the forming it. We’re not disguising the fact ters, Hamlet is “very conscious of [the plore when producing well-known
opportunity to subvert audience ex- that there exists a text.” audience] as something external to work—and that the intersection of audi-
pectations of how Shakespeare is per- Eacho explains that the idea for Stand himself.” ence expectation and directorial inno-
formed. “I think this question of the and Unfold Yourself came together all at Eacho’s decision to bring the au- vation can be fertile ground for affective
familiarity of the material,” says Rid- once. The final result is a 45-minute long dience into the action of the play and and engaging art. Yes, you might miss
out, “is something that we’re trying to production performed to a single audi- break the line between performance the plethora of tights. But Ridout and
address. It’s not quite like Hamlet in ence member, who not only observes the space and observational space chal- Eacho’s productions show us that the
the way that you keep hearing phrases action but actually takes part in it. lenges the widely held notion (incor- Bard is still relevant today, his work full
that you knew you knew.” In other The show, which comes across as rect, in Eacho’s view) that Hamlet’s of hidden meaning for us to uncover.

film & tv
And the Oscar Goes To...
the 83rd annual snoozefest
contributing writer

That most joyous time of year has Yet even more disappointing was that ing and place of Facebook in society. this nakedly pandering shtick, I assume
come and gone, when friends and fam- the Academy, as usual, failed to recog- The company moved to protect its im- it’s because of the Nazi-defying happy
ily all gather ‘round the television to cel- nize the films that actually matter, once age with popular updates while founder ending.
ebrate one of America’s most respected again putting itself on the wrong side of Mark Zuckerberg himself pseudo-do- I have no doubt we will lovingly look
and culturally resonant institutions. No, history. nated $100 million to the Newark school back on 2010 as the year that produced
not the Dancing With the Stars finale-- Speaking of history, let’s take ancient system the day the film opened. Not too the Citizen Kane for our questionably
I’m talking about the Oscars. Sunday’s Greece. Performances then were about much later he was named Time’s Person defined generation, Chris Nolan’s (dis)
Academy Awards were, on par with more than just peddling popcorn (or sa- of the Year--a fitting end to the discus- passionate masterpiece, and even the
tradition, a snooze-fest. Certainly, part vory grapes or whatever). Citizens were sion kicked off by the film. Justin Bieber documentary. The open-
of the blame for its sedative effect falls expected to actively participate, to use The Social Network was not the only ended nature of these films sent us out
upon the hosts--the Generation Y odd the plot of the play as a launching point film to make its way into the public dis- of the theater with questions, begging us
couple of Anne Hathaway and James for discussions about humanity and course. Remember staying up into the to ponder them with friends. Like real
Franco failed more spectacularly than philosophy. Now look at movies today: wee hours of the night post-Inception, Greek tragedies used to do, they made
perhaps anyone could have expected. the value of discussion has completely minds blown, discussing that damned us question our humanity and the way
evaporated. On one side, you have your top? “Did it fall or didn’t it?” was the we approach the world. Yet, The King’s
endless summer blockbusters, which question of the summer. Soon, guides Speech was decidedly not open-ended;
rarely leave us with more pressing ques- to lucid dreaming began cropping up no one left wondering, “Did he give the
tions than, “Did you see how Bruce Wil- in airports. A few of our fellow students speech?” Simply stated: The Social Net-
lis killed that helicopter with a car?!” On were even nice enough to set up a GISP work was a year-long film. The King’s
the other, you have theaters’ increas- and teach us a thing or two. And even Speech ended with the credits.
ingly strict code of conduct, demand- the significant minority who didn’t like So is there any reason to watch the
ing we shut our mouths and silence our the film sparked great conversations Oscars? I would say yes, even if the show
phones so “not to spoil the movie” for about why it wasn’t as unparalleled as is just as predictably lame as the movies
the rest of the audience. No wonder we its advocates claimed. it awards. We need some way to keep
instant stream Netflix and shun the op- Unfortunately, the opposite is true track of the Botox and the baby bumps,
pression. for the Best Picture of 2010, The King’s right? But really, no matter how vapid
When real conversation about film Speech. Unlike that grade-school favor- the affair has become, we should stop
is this rare, we need to celebrate those ite Oedipus Rex, this tragic flaw tale is to remind ourselves of the remarkable
movies that do break the mold. Enter: utterly predictable. As the story goes, role that the Oscars play in our nation’s
The Social Network. Was the movie a Colin Firth succeeded where Oedipus discourse: by awarding the wrong film
fair depiction of Facebook’s origins? couldn’t, supposedly confronting his most every year, the Academy makes
What is the value of a great story at the pride and his handicap for the glory of us realize what it is we actually value
expense of historical accuracy? The an- all England. The result is a stunning in cinema. And while Hathaway may
swers to these questions are important, performance propping up a formulaic have made us want to pull an Oedipus
but that we leave a film asking them picture, one that leaves little for audi- and gouge our eyes out, it’s all worth it
is even more so. Suddenly, everyone ences to deconstruct or question after if we have something to talk about af-
Ethan Zisson seemed to be talking about the mean- the fact. If Academy members enjoyed terward.
food & booze
FRIDAY, MARCH 4, 2011 7
Spice Up Your Life
also, nutella!!!
food columnist

Just like myself circa 1999, when first place. Elsewhere on campus, the Parmesan shavings: None of pecially if there’s hot fudge to be had.
I was under the misguided impres- selection’s even skimpier. One way to that powdery nonsense they some- Nutella: Think about your Bel-
sion that I was a horse, the Ratty beat these limitations is to come pre- times have at the pasta bar. Parm gian waffle. Now think about your Bel-
makes an easy target. Its seemingly pared. Plunk the following indispens- shavings have a transformative and gian waffle with Nutella and bananas.
hallowed halls are a quick set-up for ables in your tote and flourish them, widespread power—what aren’t they Yes… in four easy steps, this master-
disappointment: when we set out, Mary Poppins-style, at just the right good on? From the traditional—pizza piece can really be yours. Remember
moony-eyed and hungry, for that moment. The world, you’ll find, is your and pasta—to the less conventional— how excited you got the last time the
very first Sharpe Refectory feast, oyster. falafel and omelets—it’s hard to imag- V-Dub had a PB&J station, and you
we discovered instead that its name Sriracha: Easy. A bottle of this hot ine a dish that wouldn’t benefit from felt like such a lush when you chose
was the … Ratty. Oh. Having been sauce calls my backpack’s water bottle the addition of parmesan. Visualize the Nutella instead of peanut butter? Re-
brought up on images of the illus- compartment home, and it’s quickly chicken parm you can make when you enact that moment every day, and that
trious Hogwarts Dining Hall, how proven itself to be about as much of a actually have real parm. Salads, too, Hall & Oates dance from (500) Days
could we have known that behind its necessity as water. The stuff is revela- will finally taste good. of Summer will become part of your
fortress-like walls, gilded exterior, tory and absurdly versatile. Try it with Good extra virgin olive oil: Not daily routine. The pastries at the Blue
and Gail, our muggle cafeteria would mayo on a sandwich, in every soup all olive oils are created equal, but this Room will gain the newfound exotic
be host to tepid grilled cheeses and a imaginable, or with the udon noodles doesn’t mean you need to be an inden- allure of Sandra Dee in all her hair-
lame salad bar? that appear in the dining halls every tured servant at a specialty grocery sprayed, leather-adorned glory.
Maybe a deep-seated disdain once in a while. I’m also curious about store to get something decent. East- Bacon (honorary mention):
for cafeteria food is intrinsic to our taking it into the realm of salad dress- side Market’s got what you need. Use it Everything is better with bacon. Some-
identity as overworked, overtired ing—with the right balance, it could be liberally: at Focaccia Fridays; on a pro- how you’ve got to take it with you, no
college students. Still, cafeteria food just the thing for Caesar or Italian. sciutto, mozzarella, and arugula Blue matter where you go. Impractical as
isn’t repulsive—it just needs a little Cinnamon: Yes, the Ratty stocks it, Room sandwich; or drizzled over veg- this suggestion is, the first person who
patience and trust to be turned from but it’s often MIA. Bypass disappoint- gies with crushed red pepper flakes. finagles a way to tote this stuff every-
a boy into a man. There’s a station of ment by taking it with you to the V-Dub Toasted almonds: They’re the where really needs to teach me.
spices and condiments by the Tastes and swizzling some into your hot choco- Prince Charming of the snack world. The key to happiness, now as al-
of the World line that can help start late. A dash of it in lentil soup or chili How can they be delicious and whole- ways, is working with what you’ve got.
this adventure. With items such as will lend just a teeny extra zing. Stir some all at once? They seem too good When the Ratty hands you lemons,
fish sauce and garlic salt, there’s a it into cream cheese for your bagel or to be true… but they’re real. Mix ‘em in make vinaigrette. Whether you keep
bounty of options to take into your send it on a playdate with your peanut with yogurt and granola in the morn- some trusty add-ins on your person
own experimenting hands. But even butter and banana sandwich. You can ing. Slice them over romaine with chow at all times or settle for ferreting them
the spice and sauce bar has its lim- also have a positively rollicking time mein, sesame oil, red wine vinegar, out, you have options. Take command
its, as some essentials disappear, with your next cup of tea by swirling in and mandarin orange slices. Toss them of this magic arsenal. When you play
and others were never there in the some cinnamon with that honey. nonchalantly over your soft-serve, es- with your food, it’ll play nice, too.

Whip It
whip it good
contributing writer
If the torrential downpours that have sure lasted only until I sampled it. a hesitant “not bad,” but Koramah was
plagued Providence are any indication, Not only did it lack any chocolate fla- more blunt: “I am going to regret this
spring is encroaching upon us with a vor, but also the alcohol burned. It cut the whole night … disgusting … I don’t
never-too-quick pace. With every new through any sweetness like an angry pack know why it exists.”
season, there’s an “out with the old, in of hornets, was unapologetically grainy, Maybe this product leaves a lot to be
with the new” phenomenon, and I, for and did not enhance the chocolate flavor desired in the flavor department, but
one, have enjoyed watching College Hill of the product. Granted, I understand that I know in my heart that it has the po-
exchange snow boots for rain boots, the palate is subjective, so I decided to tential to be utterly amazing. Of course
wool for cotton, pants for leggings, and, share the fermented whipped cream and it’s perfectly acceptable to get drunk
best of all, mixed drinks for alcoholic get some of my friends’ opinions. First, I off of low-quality, $12-per-can alco-
Anna Gaissert

whipped cream. Sweeping across cam- served it to them plain. “Why would you holic whipped cream, but if you have
pus faster than José Cuervo on a Four do that to perfectly good alcohol?” asked any taste buds whatsoever, you might
Loko buzz, alcoholic whipped cream has my friend Tim, resisting the urge to spit it want to take a look-see at the following
kept a steady appearance on the runways out. Honestly, Tim, I have absolutely no recipe instead.
of beer pong tables across campus. idea, though there is nothing “perfectly
The two largest brands right now are good” about the muddled mix of cheap
Whipped Lightening, the company that alcohol currently available on the market.
coined the term “Whipahol,” and Cream,
which is sold at Madera, for you ever-
The product by itself clearly does not titil-
late the senses.
Whip Your Own
adventurous, experimental types. Thank Still, I decided to test other means of Ingredients:
goodness, because getting Whipped consumption before pronouncing a fi- 1 pint of whipping cream
Lightening to Providence is like getting nal verdict, so I chose to test it with hot ½ cup of milk or dark chocolate chips
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
straight A’s in Orgo—nearly impos- chocolate. Jamie, the only optimist in
powdered (confectioners’) sugar
sible. With a 30-proof alcoholic rating the group, thought it tasted “really great” bourbon or rum
and a widespread reputation, alcoholic once the whipped cream melted into the
whipped cream comes in flavors such drink and sunk to the bottom, taking with Directions:
as raspberry, chocolate, cherry, orange, it the queasy taste and leaving only the Whisk the whipping cream in a bowl until it gets stiff, or put it in a mason jar and shake
French vanilla, and hazelnut—it’s under- chocolate sensation on the palate. Elea- it for about five minutes. Next, place the chocolate chips in the microwave in a bowl for
standable, then, why these products have nor, who thought the product was greasy one minute, or until they melt completely. Let this cool a little before adding half of your
been flying off the shelves. Naturally, I by itself, admitted it was “slightly better” whipped cream to the chocolate mixture. Add a teaspoon of vanilla extract, followed by the
wanted to try it for myself—the choco- sitting at the bottom of a cup of hot choco- powdered sugar in small increments until you achieve the desired sweetness (around 2 to 3
late variety, straight from the can—to see late, far from the tongue. Finally, we tried tablespoons usually suffices). Now stir in the rest of the whipped cream and mix thoroughly.
if it warranted its newfound popularity. it on brownies, expanding on the idea For every cup of whipping cream you use, add one tablespoon of liquor (Grandma Alphonse
suggests bourbon or Jamaican rum) and 1-2 tablespoons of powdered sugar (this will keep
Initially, I was excited when I saw that that blending it in with more chocolate
things from becoming “a righteous mess”).
it did at least resemble whipped cream might reveal some redeeming qualities.
in texture and appearance. But my plea- Sadly, this was not the case. Tim gave it
8 sex & etiquette

Crotch Botch
coming to no good
sexpert Unfortunately, bad sex happens to a great starting place. Yes, it’s vital inherently unfulfilling just because
good people. But it’s only bad if it feels to know whether your partner might it doesn’t go as far as you want it
crotch botch: n. any sexual bad, if we roll out of our twin extra- have been exposed to STIs and to de- to, or both people don’t get off, or
experience that causes participants longs dissatisfied or mortified or sad. velop the communication skills that iTunes shuffle puts on “My Bologna”
to feel unsatisfied, unsafe, or gener- The mechanics of sex are innately enable you to talk openly and honestly by Weird Al right before you come.
ally unsure; see also Epic Flail untidy—I often find myself envy- about these issues. But asking for the While your emotional and safety
ing porn stars’ ability to get instantly names and relative cock sizes of your standards should remain uncom-
Having bad sex is like listening wet, perfectly hard, gracefully posed, predecessors, as though there exists promised, it can be empowering—
to Bob Dylan’s Christmas album. and sexily underway. (Then I remem- a set of criteria by which to gauge an and pleasantly surprising—to allow
For one thing, they both sound ber that these are their professional intimate experience, does not bode your sexpectations to change and
a lot like dying poultry. There have prerequisites and that there’s almost well for your sensual fulfillment. In adapt, or, as a matter of practice, to
been times, from the depths of post- definitely a jar of Vaseline and a box response to her boyfriend’s question- enter into intimate experiences with
coital purgatory, that I’ve had to of Viagra lurking off-camera.) Clumsy ing, my friend replied that there was few expectations.
resist the burning desire to blast “O sex is not bad sex—if we’re with the no sexual pecking order—unless sex is How, then, to deal with bad sex
Little Town of Bethlehem” just to right partners (of the understand- bad, it is generally good. when it happens? Talking with your
juxtapose those 70-year-old vocals ing, undemanding variety), there’s no Admittedly, I’ve had sex that I partner or just discerning the source
with my partner’s orgasm squawk. need to feel like klutzes or noobs. Sh*t didn’t recognize as bad until long af- of your discomfort, can be a positive
But more than that, these experi- gets messy, and the best thing to do is terwards, when an aggro breakup, a and healing process. It’s valuable to
ences share an acute sense of wasted laugh and keep thrusting. sober reevaluation, or a seminar in assess what went wrong simply so it
potential. Sex, like a mid-60s Dylan So if it’s not the physiology that MCM 1800: Retroactive Sexual Criti- won’t happen again. We should also
record, can be life-alteringly posi- makes bad sex bad, what is it? A cism drastically alters my recollec- make an effort not to equate “bad
tive. It can make us feel inspired friend recently told me that her boy- tion of the experience. Asking around, sex” with “bad partner”—the two
and ignited and aroused (let’s be friend cross-examined her about her I’ve found that most of my peers cat- are separate, and the conflation can
real—“Lay Lady Lay” should really previous sexual partners and how his egorize sex as “bad” if it’s emotion- be a misguided exercise in assigning
back the opening credits in each sexual prowess ranked in compari- ally unfulfilling, if their partners are blame and renouncing responsibil-
and every stag movie). In a perfect son. “Who was better?” he demanded. operating on a level of intimacy dif- ity. After all—as Bob Dylan so gra-
world, we’d always have seismic sex “Him or me?” ferent from their own, or if they don’t ciously demonstrates with his rendi-
and Bob Dylan would have stuck to Let’s be clear: grilling your part- communicate well about the implica- tion of “Must Be Santa”—everyone
Judaism. ners about their sexual history is not tions of their nastar deeds. Sex isn’t makes mistakes.

etiquette advice for the socially
awkward and their victims Shixie
getting candid(a)
Dear L&D, infections—try eating yogurt, taking
Dear Emily, you will still have to talk to your room- Can you get a yeast infection from probiotic pills, avoiding tight pants/leg-
My roommate is perfect in every mate about why you are moving out. orgo? gings, and sleeping commando. If you’re
way—except for one little problem. Which brings us to ... Love, lucky enough to have stress-releasing
She smells. Not just like an “oh-hey- 2. Casual Friday. Try to bring up the Super Pussy Itch Correlates with midterms sex, make sure you lube up
it’s-a-little-musty-in-here-maybe-I- smell in a general, non-accusatory way. Elemental Distraction for penetration—just don’t use any lubes
have-a-mildewed-shirt-hiding-un- Like, “Oh, geez, have you noticed it’s with glycerin. (Glycerin is like candy for
der-my-bed” smell. But more like an starting to reek in our room?” This may Darlink SPICED, yeast.)
oh-my-good-lord-in-heaven-who- be the gentle reminder your repugnant If, by orgo, you mean the intense xoxo,
mixed-the-rotten-eggs-with-the-tu- roomie needs to start making some mon- amount of stress that comes from study- Lovecraft
na-fish-and-doused-them-both-with- umental changes in her personal hygiene. ing organic chemistry, then yes, SPICED,
dog-shit kind of smell, you know? I Of course, it’s always possible that said it can. I assume that you’re not one of those Dear SPICED,
did the whole breathing-through- roomie had some tragic nasal accident a-holes who claim to breeze through orgo I will assume that you’re talking about
my-mouth schtick for first semester, as a child and lacks any sense of her own and that you find it difficult and stressful. the use of organic dildo materials. If
but I just don’t think I can keep that scent. And then you are forced to ... When you’re stressed out, your immune you’re using organic materials, I urge you
up for much longer. Should I stick it 3. “Hey, we need to talk.” It may be system becomes weaker. Opportunistic to thoroughly wash them—many seem-
out? Or can I delicately say that she the most uncomfortable conversation microbes take this chance to party in your ingly innocent fruits and vegetables are
smells worse than New Jersey in the you ever have, but also the most mer- body. It’s the same reason everyone gets actually covered in pesticides and chemi-
summer smog? ciful. Wouldn’t you want to know if it sick around finals period. When you’re cal preservatives. In addition, the bacteria
-Smells Like Teen Spirit were you? So sit your roommate down stressed out, your vagina has a harder growing inside of you will feed off of any
and reaffirm how much you like living time doing self-maintenance, and the fruit or vegetable fragments that may get
Dear Smells like Teen Spirit, with her ... BUT. Chances are she may “yeast” (it’s actually a fungus) that nor- left behind. Put a condom on your pro-
Emily Post- expresses a sympa- hate you for being the messenger. Still, mally lives peacefully in your stress-free duce, and you can get all the delights of
thetic eewwwwwwwww for your years later she will surely appreciate the vag can get out of control. a bitter gourd’s texture without worrying
dilemma. There are few conditions awkward lengths to which you went in For some vaginas, a simple slather- that it might break inside of you. Organic
more tragic than unsavory B.O. So order to assure that her stench would ing with anti-fungicide cream (sold at dildos are falling out of style, though, as
she presents you with a few different be socially appropriate. Of course, Em- drugstores and at the Health Services more synthetic, vibrating, clitoral stimu-
options to navigate your way through ily Post- would certainly understand if Pharmacy) or other remedies won’t work lating dildos become available on the
this stinky social situation with finesse, you were unwilling to put yourself in this unless you first address the stress. Don’t market. But to get back to your original
or at least a dash of compassion. position. In which case, you are left with drop orgo just because you have a burn- question, here’s my short answer: the
1. Make like a banana ... and split! but one option ... ing vag, but try to figure out how you classics are good, but just like regular sex,
It’s not too late to file for a roommate 4. Air fresheners. Lots and lots of air can relax. (De-stressing can be as simple no glove = no love.
change, though the pickings may be fresheners. as getting enough exercise, fresh air, Your Friendly Ex-Pat Stag,
slim at this time of year. Still, unless and chill time, even if it’s only for a few Dorian
you end up in Thete, your new room Sincerely, minutes.) Also, if you have an especially
will probably smell a little better. But Emily Post- stressful week of exams coming up, you Questions? Ask anonymously at
can take preventative measures against