Running head: MY JOURNEY THROUGH SELF-AUTHORSHIP 1

My Journey Through Self-Authorship

Felix A. Castillo
Northern Illinois University
HESA 522 – College Student Development Theory
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Introduction

Sometimes we do things without really knowing why we are doing it or what the long

term benefit will be. I am a first-generation graduate student and with just the knowledge that

was shared with me by my family and past educators, I had to learn to navigate my college

experience at Northern Illinois University (NIU). When going through my experience at NIU my

transition was difficult because I was experiencing a lot of changes in life that I was not used to.

With multiple trial and error, I was able to learn along the way and develop as an adult. In this

assignment, I had the chance to reflect on my college journey as an undergraduate and use the

self-authorship theory when reflecting. In this essay, you will learn more about my college

experience and what I did to try to develop as a student through my collage (see appendix A).

Theory of self-authorship

The theory of self-authorship explains the journey people take when learning to make

decisions in their lives. It is the internal capacity to define one’s beliefs, identity, and social

relations. One goes from letting others make life decisions for them to become the key decision-

maker of their own lives. Baxter Magolda was the founder of this theory, in the hope to describe

the development process across several domains (Abes et.al 2016). The theory is made of three

different domains, with three different phases in each domain that explains the transition face of

gaining self-authorship in the domains. According to Baxter Magolda (as cited in Abes and

Hernandez, 2016), “Self-authorship is a holistic theory because it integrates development in ways

of making meaning of knowledge (cognitive development), relationships with others

(interpersonal development), and sense of self (intrapersonal development”. This quote

summarizes the purpose of every dimension.

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The three phases are, following formulas, crossroads, and self-authorship. With going

through these faces it is the hopes that one will reach self-authorship in every

dimension/development. In the following formulas phase, students often look at relationships as

hierarchical and knowledge as concrete because it is what is taught to one from a young age. In

the crossroad phase, students begin to move towards question everything that they have

previously known and start to engage opportunities that will allow them to start to make meaning

of things for themselves. In the final phase, self-authorship is when a student can trust their

internal voice, builds an internal foundation, and can build mutual relationships.

Cognitive Development

Through this reflection, I was able to get a better understanding of how I have learned to

go from believing everything I have always been told by my authority like my parents and

teachers, to having my personal beliefs and allowing myself to engage and expand my

knowledge through different experiences. Upon arriving at NIU a lot of my previous knowledge

came from everything I was told by my family. In the Latino culture, it is often emphasized for

parents to continue to pass the traditions and beliefs down to the younger generation. I believed

everything I was told like “respect your elders” or “men are not supposed to cry” a young age.

Another source I often got my information came from was my teachers in high school. Often in

high school, we are always encouraged to go into certain fields like the medical field because not

a lot of Latinos are in those fields and because of the income that comes with those positions in

the field.

While in college I have allowed myself to engage in different opportunities to make my

judgment having seen it for myself. While getting my undergraduate I engaged in internship

opportunities that allowed me to discover my interest in the higher education field, which was
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never introduced to me from an early age. In my collage, I put a logo of the UIC Hispanic Center

of Excellence and NIU Student Involvement & Leadership Development, which is where I had

the privilege to serve as an intern that allowed me to interact with students and serving as a

support for them. With being a first-generation college student I had a lot of difficulties

navigating my freshman year. During my transition to NIU, I was struggling to adapt to the

environment. After multiple tears and convincing myself to continue my education, I was able to

persevere and get my degree. To say the least my personal experiences while at NIU has allowed

me to challenges the beliefs that were shared with me from a young age. I do strongly believe

that I am at a point in my life where I have an open mind and allow myself to gain new

knowledge and make my judgment based on the evidence that is presented in front of me.

Intrapersonal Development

When coming to college I thought I knew it all and was aware of who I am. However,

that was not the case, reflecting on my experience I was, in fact, unaware of who I was and

wanted to become. During my first year at NIU I lacked awareness of my values and identity and

allowed others to help identify me. There were often when I would not allow myself to take

different opportunities offered to me because I was concerned about what my friends were going

to think and say. Anything my friends wanted to do or believe in, I did too, because I lacked an

understanding of who I was and what I believed in. My family as well as another source that

played a role in how identified and what I found important. I often felt that my values and beliefs

needed to reflect my family because it is what we are taught to believe from a young age.

This happened throughout my first semester in college. It was not until my second

semester that I started to get involved and attend different conferences that I allowed me to get a

better feel of the things I do and do not like. During my crossroads phases, it was me having to
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take the initiative to break out from my friend group and joined a fraternity and dance group on

campus. This was one of the times that I did things for myself and not so much because my

friends approved. In both organizations, I blossomed into a student leader and experienced a lot

that has allowed me to get a better understanding of the person who I am. One of my core values

that over time I have come to see the importance of is education. Me being one of the youngest

in my family, I had older siblings and cousins who went to school before me, however did not

make it passed high school. Although my family does not see much value in education, I think

that it is important and can open doors to multiple opportunities. Due to my involvement and

allowing myself to explore different things I now have a better understanding of the person I am

and the things that are important to me. Had it not been for my outburst from my freshman year

friend, I would have not gain self-authorship in this dimension.

Interpersonal Development

All of my life I have been used to build relationships with individuals who are similar to

me. Growing up I have also been around Latino specifically Dominicans and Mexicans. I had

always found myself building connections with those similar to me because I did not know how

to build a relationship with those outside of my culture. I also build relationships with individuals

who were considered the “cool” kids throughout middle school and high school. Coming to NIU

it was a little different to me for multiple reasons because it was a predominantly white

institution, and because of the size of the student body. During my freshman year, the majority of

the relationships that I built was with individuals who were similar to me. A lot of those students

identified as Latino and came from the Chicagoland area. Without thinking about it, it just

happened that my friends and I were very similar and dependent on one another.
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Moving forward to my sophomore and junior year NIU, my friend group had diversified,

mainly because of my involvement on campus and the different people I encountered. My first

step into the crossroad phase was my decision to join a Latino based fraternity, with multicultural

membership. Although I knew it was Latino based, I was aware that I was going to have the

opportunity to interact with different brothers from various backgrounds. This was my first time

having the opportunity to have intellectual conversations with people who are not similar to me.

From my involvement in the fraternity I was able to get involved with the department of

fraternity and sorority life. There is where I was able to do my internship, working with 45

different organizations from various cultures backgrounds. I allowed myself to engage with

students, and who I have never encountered. I learned about the different organizations that are

completely different from mine and the history of how they came about. I do believe that I am

still working on developing my self-authorship in this dimension because sometimes I naturally

build relationships with people similar to me. Although I am not fully developed in this stage this

collage did allow me to come to that realization.

Application of Theory

When thinking of this theory, one thing that came to mind was how a future student

development professional would best put this theory to practice. A situation where I would see

myself using this theory, is when advising students. I strongly believe this theory will help me

have a better understanding as to where the student is in their self-authorship. Having reflected

on my undergraduate experience, I feel that I have a better understanding of the steps I took to

develop on my self-authorship. For example, if a student is having difficulties choosing a major

because of the expectation that their family has set on them to choose a particular field. Guiding

one to trust their internal voice and to do what is best for them. Hopefully getting them to realize
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that do things for themselves and less to satisfy others. Providing opportunities for students to

engage in different experiences other than what they are used to so that they break out of their

comfort zone and make their judgment based on their experience. I also need to keep in mind

that not all students will experience dissonance throughout their college years, and it may be till

after college that one may begin to work on their self-authorship. Pizzolato and Olson stated,

“Regardless of the form of dissonance takes, the message is: students need to experience

dissonance to move towards self-authorship” (2016). This quote mentions how one needs to

experience difficult challenges and life obstacles to move towards self-authorship. I have to be

considerate that every student is different and that their road to self-authorship is different.

Conclusion

After completing the collage and analyzing my development through the three

dimensions of development to self-authorship, I realized that even though I have arrived to the

phase of self-authorship for cognitive and intrapersonal development, I have yet to reach self-

authorship in the interpersonal development dimension. Although I was not initially aware of the

self-authorship development theory, I have now learned about the necessary phases that I have to

work on in order to accomplish the final phase to my interpersonal development. I am also aware

that this process might take longer than expected, especially since I am still learning through my

graduate assistantship, current graduate courses, and my relationships with others.

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References

Abes, E. S., & Hernández, E. (2016). Critical and Poststructural Perspectives on Self‐Authorship.

New Directions for Student Services, 2016(154), 97-108. doi: 10.1002/ss.20178

Pizzolato, J. E., & Olson, A. B. (2016). Exploring the Relationship Between the Three

Dimensions of Self-Authorship. Journal of College Student Development, 57(4), 411-

427. doi:10.1353/csd.2016.0052
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Appendix A