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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Awsome Opening Lines/Paragraphs

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Who posted?

Vicissitude A ways back, there was a good thread about creepy opening lines, which more or less devolved into people writing up the most disgusting thing they could think of rather than the most disturbing. But, as in most threads, a few gold
Thread Poster nuggets were found in that trough of shit, piss and aborted fetuses. So let's try to create something good this time around. I'm expanding the concept to a whole paragraph, since that's where a lot of it ended up last time.
Jan 26, 2004

quote:
One of the best memories I have is when my uncle Steve took me to the Bronx Zoo. It was the first time I saw a lot of animals I'd only seen on TV or read about in books. Out of all of them, I think the guy that stuck with me
the longest was the big guy in the reptile house. Some big Burmese python they called Irwin. He taught me probably the most important lesson I know, more important than anything my father ever taught me. They say to
never bite off any more than you can chew, but that snake showed me otherwise. Why bother chewing when you can just swallow the motherfucker whole?

I set myself on fire. So they


couldn't grab me. That's ninja
thinkin'!

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 15:05 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Bizarro Buddha I really like this, probably just because of studying the Iliad at school.
Feb 11, 2007

Dan Simmons, Ilium posted:


Sing, O Muse, of the rage of Achilles, of Peleus' son, murderous, man-killer, fated to die, sing of the rage that cost the Achaeans so many good men and sent so many vital, hearty souls down to the dreary House of Death. And
while you're at it, O Muse, sing of the rage of the gods themselves, so petulant and so powerful here on their new Olympos, and of the rage of the post-humans, dead and gone though they might be, and of the rage of those
few true humans left, self-absorbed and useless though they may have become. While you are singing, O Muse, sing also of the rage of those thoughtful, sentient, serious but not-so-close-to-human beings out there dreaming
under the ice of Europa, dying in the sulfur-ash of Io, and being born in the cold folds of Ganymede.
Oh, and sing of me, O Muse, poor born-again-against-his-will Hockenberry - poor dead Thomas Hockenberry, Ph.D., Hockenbush to his friends, to friends long since turned to dust on a world long-since left behind. Sing of my
rage, yes, of my rage, O Muse, small and insignificant though that rage may be when measured against the anger of the immortal gods, or when compared to the wrath of the god-killer, Achilles.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 15:32 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

935 Scott skidded to a halt in his 1974 Dodge Challenger. Upon opening the door, all he could see was red. The skies were literally raining blood. Mangled bodies littered the concrete jungle where packs of hyper-werewolves roamed.
Jul 28, 2006 Reaching into his backseat, Scott pulled out his bottle of Jack Daniels, and his baby, his Magnum 365.
Title text (optional; no images
are allowed, only text) "Time to get fucked up" he said with a sly grin.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 15:46 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Robotic T-Rex
Jul 17, 2007
Hunter S Thompson posted:
"We were somewhere near Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like 'I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive . . .' And suddenly there was a terrible roar
all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was
screaming: 'Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals!?' "

Straight away you know what you're in for, though it doesn't hint at the profound gems of strange and profound truth buried in the torrent of drug fueled madness.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 15:51 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Apps If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield
Jul 11, 2003 kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

tits

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 16:18 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Trump Could we please have a title and author for these?


Jul 16, 2003

Cute

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 16:53 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Sick_Boy T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land


Jun 03, 2007 April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

Lautreamont, Les Chants de Maldoror


God grant that the reader, emboldened and having become at present as fierce as what he is reading, find, without loss of bearings, his way, his wild and treacherous passage through the desolate swamps of these sombre, poison-
soaked pages; for, unless he should bring to his reading a rigorous logic and a sustained mental effort at least as strong as his distrust, the lethal fumes of this book shall dissolve his soul as water does sugar. It is not right that
everyone read the pages that follow: a sole few will savour this bitter fruit without danger. As a result, wavering soul, before penetrating further into such uncharted barrens, draw back, step no deeper.
Beware of he who would deny
you information; for in his heart
he dreams himself your master

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:09 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Wa11y
Jul 23, 2002
The Gunslinger posted:
The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

From Steven King's The Dark Tower series.

Did I say "cookies?" I


meant, "Shot in the face!"

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:11 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Karnegal William Shakespeare


Dec 24, 2005 The Tragedy of King Richard the Third

Now is the winter of our discontent


Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour’d upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings;
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visag’d war hath smooth’d his wrinkled front;
And now,—instead of mounting barbed steeds,
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,—
He capers nimbly in a lady’s chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
But I, that am not shap’d for sportive tricks,
Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;
I, that am rudely stamp’d, and want love’s majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
I, that am curtail’d of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,

1 of 5 24/08/2008 17:53
Awsome Opening Lines/Paragraphs http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2582345&us...

Deform’d, unfinish’d, sent before my time


Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me, as I halt by them;
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to see my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain,
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,
By drunken prophecies, libels, and dreams,
To set my brother Clarence and the king
In deadly hate the one against the other:
And if King Edward be as true and just
As I am subtle, false, and treacherous,
This day should Clarence closely be mew’d up,
About a prophecy, which says, that G
Of Edward’s heirs the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here Clarence comes.

I count it as an opening line; I mean, there are only like 6 endmarks in the whole thing, go Shakespeare

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:19 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Koala Gabriel Garcia Marquez


Aug 18, 2003 Chronicles of a Death Foretold

"On the day they were going to kill him, Santiago Nasar got up at five-thirty in the morning to wait for the boat the bishop was coming on."

Marquez had me from the first sentence. That shit is brilliant.

Gorging on the eucalyptus tree


of human misery

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:23 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Chromis Iain Banks: The Crow Road


Feb 04, 2004
It was the day my grandmother exploded.

Logic is wreath of pretty


flowers that smell bad.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:30 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

reflir For such a well-read group of people most of you sure seem to suck at reading the first post
Oct 29, 2004
(the idea is to create your own)

I can see forever

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:31 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Sick_Boy
Jun 03, 2007
reflir posted:
For such a well-read group of people most of you sure seem to suck at reading the first post

(the idea is to create your own)

Touchè.

Beware of he who would deny


[Edit]: Here be mine contribution:
you information; for in his heart
he dreams himself your master All you will read in these pages is true; that is to say, a lie. Or, perhaps, my truth, or the lie that I've transformed into my truth, maybe. It may even be everyone else's truth, or everyone else's lie, or someone else's truth, which is my
lie, or my truth, which is someone else's lie.
Sick_Boy fucked around with this message at Aug 05, 2007 around 17:38

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:34 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Chromis
Feb 04, 2004
reflir posted:
For such a well-read group of people most of you sure seem to suck at reading the first post

(the idea is to create your own)

Logic is wreath of pretty


flowers that smell bad.
To be fair, having read the OP twice more, that's far from clear.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:36 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Koala
Aug 18, 2003
reflir posted:
For such a well-read group of people most of you sure seem to suck at reading the first post

(the idea is to create your own)

Gorging on the eucalyptus tree


of human misery
Well then wouldn't this thread belong in Creative Convention?

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:40 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Zazi
Jan 14, 2005
reflir posted:
I once gave a homeless man all For such a well-read group of people most of you sure seem to suck at reading the first post
of my spare change. Little did
he know, the coins were made
of poison. (the idea is to create your own)

That's not really put across very clearly, now is it. Or, actually, at all. He simply commented that the other thread devolved into people writing their own crazy stuff, and that we could create something beautiful. I understand that this is
probably where the 'write your own' inference came from, but I must hold that it can just as easily be taken to refer to the thread as a whole.

Also, the thread is called "Awesome Opening Lines/Paragraphs". I am inclined to agree that the opening paragraph to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was sufficiently awesome.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:42 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Chromis OK then, here's one of mine:


Feb 04, 2004
It had been raining all day, driven by a steady wind from the sea, and Tobin Hart was thoroughly sick of it. He wouldn’t have minded a good solid downpour so much, but this steady cold wind-blown drizzle was just plain depressing.
Despite his heavy travelling cloak, the rain had soaked into his clothes and the leather of his saddle, and made everything cold and uncomfortable. The bleak high moorland around him was shrouded in a heavy mist, and the road
beneath his horse’s hooves looked more like a muddy stream than the main route to a major city.

Logic is wreath of pretty


flowers that smell bad.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 17:55 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Fragrag I can't say it was right, but the fucker had it coming.
Aug 03, 2007

The Worst Admin Ever bashes


You in the head with his
banhammer. It is smashed into
the body, an unrecognizable
mass! You have been struck
down.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 18:05 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Garth Algar The opening of Right Ho, Jeeves by P. J. Wodehouse.


Jun 09, 2007

2 of 5 24/08/2008 17:53
Awsome Opening Lines/Paragraphs http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2582345&us...

Did you ever see that "Twilight


Zone" where the guy signed a
contract and they cut out his
tongue and put it in a jar and it
wouldn't die, it just grew and quote:
pulsated and gave birth to baby "Jeeves," I said, "may I speak frankly?"
tongues? Pretty cool, huh?

"Certainly, sir."

"What I have to say may wound you."

"Not at all, sir."

"Well, then----"

No--wait. Hold the line a minute. I've gone off the rails.

I don't know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I'm telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it. It's a thing you don't want to go wrong over, because one
false step and you're sunk. I mean, if you fool about too long at the start, trying to establish atmosphere, as they call it, and all that sort of rot, you fail to grip and the customers walk out on you.

Get off the mark, on the other hand, like a scalded cat, and your public is at a loss. It simply raises its eyebrows, and can't make out what you're talking about.

And in opening my report of the complex case of Gussie Fink-Nottle, Madeline Bassett, my Cousin Angela, my Aunt Dahlia, my Uncle Thomas, young Tuppy Glossop and the cook, Anatole, with the above spot of dialogue, I see
that I have made the second of these two floaters.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 18:41 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

HelterSkeletor
Oct 07, 2005
Neuromancer by William Gibson posted:
The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.

And here's mine:

Ricky the viking warrior rode upon the highland of the planet Vorplor on a mighty steed. He didn't so much mind the eight moons as much as the rampant rash invading his crotch like the orcish hordes that he had slaughtered lo these
I've got blisters on my fingers. many years. The environment of this planet was full of crotch rot-inducing fungi, and there was no way to stop them. Ricky began to worry that he would die of crotch rot before he could confront the dragon who had caputred princess
Neptilda. The dragon's name: Richard Nixon. Eight crotch-rot covered demons approached on the horizon. Today would be a day of heroes. And the stuff that heroes do.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 18:53 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

xcvb I looked out the dusty window and saw their faces peering in at me, eagerly showing me their teeth, pushing themselves to the front of the herd. Not one hair on their heads. "Back, children" I spoke in a whisper. They didn't need to
Mar 17, 2007 hear it, they only needed to see it. Every waking second they studied my movements, my mood, my expressions, trying to please me. I threw the body of the mailman into their pen and they tore at it, ripping it in two and then
liquidizing it in seconds. Programmed. It was my dream for them.

or

The air is thick with some kind of energy I just want to devour and let melt inside of me. I raise my hands to the sky empty of clouds and scream. The tide washes in and out over my bloody feet and brings with it so much painful relief.
I've tossed aside the world. I have evolved beyond my peers. The wind breathes steadily on my leathered back and tickles my side. My arms drop from the air and I rest my hands on my shorts and pinch myself. I am finally alone.
Everything went according to plan.

or

Between the square buildings brown with rust we traded blinks as our feet froze in the snow. We talked slow and didn't pace. This would be my new best friend. We killed a professor of ours in his home the next day and robbed his
home. We sold all we could and with our earning traveled to America. Walking through a crowd I could only faintly hear an instrument being played somewhere. I stood there and listened for several minutes and when I found myself
again I saw that Chorus was gone. All alone here in my new home.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 19:01 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

voidweller I always thought this would be a disturbing opening to a movie and yet set up the inherent conflict within 3.2 seconds.
May 17, 2005 ________________________________________________________________________________
BACKYARD BARBEQUE - DAY
.........what? Stop looking at
me, you've got the bug eyes.
The main character and his best friend drink beers among a group of average suburbanite 40 somethings and a bunch of kids running through playing, including best friend's son, 13.

MAIN CHARACTER:V.O. I consider myself an average guy. I've got an average house. Good job I love. Some good friends. A little lonely, but I've never felt the lack until now. Now, I find myself in the greatest and worst moments I've
ever known. I'm in love. For the first time in my life, I'm in love. I'm in love... with my best friend's son.
______________________________________________________________________________
Ewww yet you gotta admit that's some fucking drama right there.

And my favorite movie open of all time.


THE WAY OF THE GUN
Christopher McQuarrie

Bar Patron: Hey, hey. Yeah you, get up. What are you retarded? Get off the fucking car!
Raving Bitch: Hey dickless, get off the fucking car! Hey fucksuck, get your slippery fucking ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the fucking car with your fucking ass!
Parker: Shut that cunts mouth or I'll come over there and fuckstart her head!
Raving Bitch: You're gonna wish you never fucking got up this fucking morning asshole, because my boyfriend's gonna fuck you up! And then after that while he's fucking up your fucking gay uncle over there I'm gonna fucking cut off
your cock and mail it to your mother, you fucking faggot bitch! You gaylord fucking bitch! How do you like that? You like that a lot you fucking faggot? You like to ass fuck? Fontanella fucking babyheads!
Bar Patron: Go ahead.
Raving Bitch: You like to fuck babyheads? You like to fuck boys? He's gonna fuck you in the ass, how do you like that? He's not even gay but he'll do it just to fuck...
Bar Patron: Honey honey. She's got a big mouth but she's not kidding. I'm gonna whip you silly and I'm gonna fuck you stupid. You wanna do the man dance? First dance is yours.
*PARKER DECKS RAVING BITCH AND CROWD PUMMLES PARKER AND LONGBAUGH*

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 19:16 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Catrel Stevens As Terrence sat alone on the splintered bench awaiting the local coach, his wandering eye caught the sight of a ghastly figure. The stranger was pale, almost gray in the afternoon sun. Fat seemed to sit on his body in peculiar
May 28, 2006 proportions, giving the appearance of a loose and sagging skin. A glob of belly hung slightly out of his unkempt shirt. Terrence could feel the pulse of his heart flutter upon this vision, and it began to steadily rise in tempo as he made
the realization that this ghastly figure was approaching him. Trying to avoid notice, Terrence turned his head to the side, almost blind to the man taking the space next to him on the bench as a seat, but the smell would not allow him to
Don fear nuh offisah
ignore his presence. A distinct odor of decay was carried along with this person. Whether it was the matted, unkempt hair or the disheveled clothing of transients he wore, Terrence would never know. Finally, the obliviously intrusive
stranger spoke, "Do you have the time?" "Half past two," Terrence answered, for the first time taking a direct look at the stranger's face. Immediately however, Terrence locked gaze with the man, almost beckoned by something distant
in his eye. There was something about the confidence displayed in the stranger's stare that spoke of untold wisdom and certainty. But before Terrence could fully appreciate it, a sickening realization was brought on by the form of the
stranger's reply: "Stupendous! I have plenty of time then!" "... Why don't your lips move when you speak, sir," Terrence puzzled briefly. The stranger leaned towards Terrence and methodically uttered, "Because they are not mine." And
before he could attempt a sound, the stranger had Terrence unconscious in a nearby alley, ready to begin the long, pain-staking process that lay before him. For afterall, the stranger's suit is beginning to rot, and he will require a
fresher skin if he is every to continue to pass as human.

(Turned out longer than I expected. This is actually a scene I'm tossing around for an intro to a character in a comic I've just started working on.)

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 19:22 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

tifoso It takes one twentieth of a second for your driver's side airbag to deploy. So fast you barely see it. Fwoosh, and it's there, a milky pillow of nitrogen waiting to swallow your merry skull.
Jun 21, 2004
By the time Jhane realized she'd been in an accident, she'd already plunged headlong into that bag, but not before biting off her tongue, shitting her undergarments, and cleaving through a pedestrian with the front spoiler of her '98
Cavalier. The top half—-chest to forehead—-bulged through the windshield like a popped sparrow caught in a glass web. It was a young girl, probably the right age for her first flow, who looked more confused than scared. She pushed
on the glass, but her legs were unwilling to take her away. A brown schoolbag was still strapped to her back.

Her eyes met Jhane's through the shattered screen. For an instant the young girl seemed relieved. "Mommy?" she whispered.

Fhtagn! (consider revising)

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 20:32 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004
HP Lovecraft's [i posted:
The Call of Cthulhu[/i]]The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not
meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of
our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

In Nomine Alius Neveus Caro!

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 20:53 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

qlat fuck
Aug 12, 2003
qlat fucked around with this message at Aug 05, 2007 around 21:00

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 20:58 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Hyphy Jamboree
Jun 05, 2003
The Rat posted:

I really like this, incredibly poignant, I need to read me some HP Lovecraft

3 of 5 24/08/2008 17:53
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Gay for Vonnegut

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 21:00 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Nuclear Pogostick
Apr 09, 2007
The prologue of A Fire Upon The Deep, By Vernor Vinge posted:
How to explain? How to describe? Even the omniscient viewpoint quails. A singleton star, reddish and dim, and a ragtag of asteroids and a single planet more like a moon.

I can't seem to remember the exact line, or the title but a book about WWII had a great opening line abouts U-Boats prowling.

Also, beaten to The Gunslinger.

Bouncing towards victory


I can't seem to remember a bunch more, right when I need to. Figures.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 21:08 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Mighty Pro Jet The opening lines for a novella I'm writing titled "Catch Hell":
Oct 26, 2006
A stream of sunlight followed the preacher into town. He must have truly been the holiest of holy men to have the sun itself as his disciple.

by Fistgrrl

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 21:17 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

neggbird The grenade tasted like green metal. And it went down easy, like all green metal things should and do.
Apr 08, 2006

by Lowtax

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 21:39 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Dreamlogic Don't have any of my own but


May 11, 2007

Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House posted:


No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness
within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill
House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 21:54 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Monster w21 Faces The funny thing about Gods is that the longer one sits at the foot of your bed, the more you notice the patches and popped seams of his jacket.
May 11, 2006

A mad dash of humanity backlit


by inland fires.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 22:02 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Flying Mariachi
Feb 10, 2007
quote:
The sweet tastes of cinnamon and apple filled my mouth like requests for a proper simile fill a writing chatroom. I quickly became lost in a world of my own breakfast, savoring every molecule of taste. Frank walked in on my
near orgasmic enjoyment of my breakfast and I quickly covered my bowl like a kid who just discovered masturbation covers a dirty magazine as his parents walk in the room. “Jesus Christ, Frank, don't you knock?” I exclaimed
in horror.

I decided to novelize a particularly terrible webcomic I found online. This is one of the opening paragraphs to the third chapter.
Hamburgers are food

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 22:08 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Herr Roboto he stood up to hear the judge's decision. Death sentence. Death sentence for an accident. It was not his fault the couple is dead now, but he has to die for it anyway. Atleast they granted him one last wish. "My last wish is to have sex
Jul 20, 2006 with the victims' daughter." Silence. A man yelled:"But she's only 9 years old!"
"Yeah? Well, you can punish me for that later."

Maybe I shouldn't become a writer.

Let's Dance and Fuck, because


Tomorrow we are Dead

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 22:22 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

PolishPrincess It was a pleasure to burn. - Fahrenheit 451


May 27, 2006

I'm Polish.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 22:24 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Communist
Jun 13, 2001
Karnegal posted:
If found outside nmp3s, please William Shakespeare
return. The Tragedy of King Richard the Third

Now is the winter of our discontent


Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour’d upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings;
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visag’d war hath smooth’d his wrinkled front;
And now,—instead of mounting barbed steeds,
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,—
He capers nimbly in a lady’s chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
But I, that am not shap’d for sportive tricks,
Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;
I, that am rudely stamp’d, and want love’s majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
I, that am curtail’d of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deform’d, unfinish’d, sent before my time
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me, as I halt by them;
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to see my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain,
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.

4 of 5 24/08/2008 17:53
Awsome Opening Lines/Paragraphs http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2582345&us...

Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,


By drunken prophecies, libels, and dreams,
To set my brother Clarence and the king
In deadly hate the one against the other:
And if King Edward be as true and just
As I am subtle, false, and treacherous,
This day should Clarence closely be mew’d up,
About a prophecy, which says, that G
Of Edward’s heirs the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here Clarence comes.

I count it as an opening line; I mean, there are only like 6 endmarks in the whole thing, go Shakespeare

I'm getting the opening couplet tattoo'ed on my back when a graduate college next year

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 22:30 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

lou reeds banana Why is that sentence to the Gunslinger such a good line? It seems incredibly generic to me, doesn't really convey anything about the book, and is just boring. King thought he'd be clever and make the first line the last line of the series,
Feb 20, 2007 but other than that he never really knew he was going to do it. I just don't understand why that's a good line other than it's the first line of a really good series.

by Lowtax

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 22:36 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Mr. Highway
Feb 25, 2007
PolishPrincess posted:
It was a pleasure to burn. - Fahrenheit 451

Yes, yes, quite. I was going to do this but you beat me.

So here we go with another: That was when I saw the Pendulum - Foucault's Pendulum

I'm a very lonely man, doing


Anyways, I remember my brother handing me a book whilst in the middle of some laughter. I don't remember the book title or author, but the first line will always stick with me. "I was born out of sorrow so my parents named me
what I can. Rain." I mean how awesomely horrible is that line. It tells the reader just to throw that book into the nearest fire.

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 22:48 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

MMAgCh I was, of course, well aware of the myth stating that the memory span of a goldfish lasts only three seconds; and that, because a goldfish takes much longer than three seconds to die outside of water, to it its entire existence would
Aug 15, 2001 seem to have been comprised of nothing but the agonizing struggle of suffocation, that all it could remember of its life was dying. I knew this was wrong, of course. I also knew it could never happen to a human being.
But then, science'd made a great many things possible.
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 23:02 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

Grandasaur Egg A torrent of love and confused emotion sizzled violently in his mind as he stared dumbly at her full lips and starry, concerned eyes, his own lips bearing the fruits of dissolving meat slices and limp noodles jiggling like worms as he
Oct 14, 2005 panted pitifully with withering carbonara sauce smudged across his chin and chest like the remnants of a foul, buttery orgasm, all having washed up in a burning torrent from the pits of his stomach with a plume of reeking vodka. And,
vomiting emotion, he fell forward with a kiss.

GROOR

1 # ? Aug 05, 2007 23:05 Profile Post History Ban History Add Coloring/Note Hide Avatar

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