Life Force
Tat Tvam Asi Thou Art That

Willow 3/4/2011

1|P ag e

I recognize the difference between the worlds of truth and fantasy


All rights reserved. No part of this manuscript may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior permission in writing of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

Copyright © 2011 by Rian Pretorius


I wish to thank Temple United Vampyre Unitarian Pagan, the Vampire Church , the Atlanta Vampire Alliance and House of True Blood for their assistance in writing this novel. I also express my deepest gratitude to those Vampire institutions who allowed me to quote from their sacred texts. I also wish to thank all those who have been a great inspiration in writing this work. Thank you.

The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead,and real life events are purely coincidental.


Chapter One
Dorothy s hands trembled as she read the text message for the second time. I dreaded this day since the day we got married and I always hoped it would not come, she read. However, now you have asked the question and I have no choice but to answer you. What is Mother Temple? I belong to a very, very old religion, my dearest Dorothy. A religion far older than the oldest form ofpaganism. I am a Vampire. A strange cold sensation ran down Dorothy s spine. She was married to John for nearly three years and never suspected this. Vampires are fiction, myth. They don t exist! Her legs felt like rubber. It has been nearly a year since their divorce and during this time John hardly attempted to communicate with her. I love you deeply and I will continue to do so for the rest of my cursed immortallife. I should have spoken to you about my true nature before we got married, but I thought I could change. I wanted to be human for you Dorothy, but I failed. Dorothy s vision blurred. Tears were welling up behind her eyes. She swallowed it back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Even though their marriage ended under very dark and sour circumstances, she was still very much in love with her ex-husband. I have sent you a lengthy e-mail, explaining much about my life and my nature. I shall fully understand if you don t ever speak to me again after reading this message. The only assurance I can give you at this point is that I am not crazy, and I am most definitely not using halucigenic drugs. Vampires are very real. We have been walking among the human race for thousands of years. The vampire underworld is much larger than most people could imagine. There are vampire houses in every major city of the world. Dorothy had to bite her lower lip to make sure that she was not having some freaky nightmare. When John made contact with again two weeks earlier, she was hoping that they could find some form of closure regarding their marriage. There were many loose ends which neededto be tied up. When John told her that he still loved her in that first message, she thought there was still hope ..

It was a long hard day at work. John was tired. He had not fed in days and he could feel his energy levels were low. He knew he had to feed soon. His survival was at stake. In the three years he had been married to Dorothy he hardly fed. Prior to his marriage he had always fed off sexual energy, when blood was not available. Meeting Dorothy again in this life nearly cost him hisown demise. He had always felt guilty when he had to feed off some unsuspecting stranger. He did vow to be faithful to Dorothy. Feeding off her was also out of the question, as he was petrified of hurting her. John had to turn to


feeding on his own blood during their marriage. Survival is the highest law and when hungry you would eat most anything. In a way the divorce was an easy way out and a new lease on life for him, yet he felt empty since she left. It was as if a part of his soul left with her that day. The summer sun was blazing down on John s shaven head. He flipped his sunglasses onto his face. Thank the Vampire Gods for the invention of sunglasses, he thought as he walked out of his office and stepped onto the pavement. How things have changed over the last century. Not only have vampires evolved and were able to walk in the sun, but so did technology.The street was bustling with commuters on their way home. Cars were whizzing past, traffic lights were directing the flow of vehicles and skyscrapers were towering high above John. His horse had made way for the speedtrain. Humans lived longer and produced more of their own kind, which was a good thing. That meant more to feed from. However, so little had changed as well. Humans were still just as cruel and savage as they were thousands of years ago. They were also still just as ignorant. If something could not be explained in their feeble realities and narrow minds is was put down to fantasy and make belief. Ask the witches John have taught over the years. They will contest to that. John had found by teaching Witchcraft and Wicca he could attract people who were more open minded and accepting. He could move among these groups of people more freely as they would accept him much easier. They would put his cold eerie presence down to his abilities as a witch . This also helped to make his immortal life more bearable as it meant company when he wanted it. It most definitely made life less lonely. There were many similarities between the Witchcraft religion and his own and very often John could attend public circles and worship his own Dark Gods there without anyone noticing. John never really liked people. They were born to serve, not to Live. Fucking cattle, he thought again, looking around as people scurried in their different directions. How pathetic these creatures actually were. They still lived in a world where they apologized for their presence, still groveled to their imaginary God when they prayed and made themselves off to be nothing but mere worthless worms. Yet, he mumbled to himself they think they are at the top of the food chain, when they are not. They are food too!If only they knew it is us who rule their world. We need to feed and they are our prey. John smiled bitterly at the thought. How often are vampires not depicted as dark evil creatures? Feeding on humans are not evil. He had never seen any human beg for forgiveness for the animals they hunt for pleasure, or for the meat they ate. Humans are far worse. They torture animals when testing is done for beauty products and medicine. Humans are a disease, an infection. They are over populating the planet - killing their only means of survival by destroying the land they live on. In the end, no matter what, all animals kill something for survival and so do vampires.


He started his decent down the stairs to the train station. The dim light here was more bearable for his eyes. However, he preferred to keep his sunglasses on. This way it was easier to unobtrusively look around for something to snack on. Life would be so much easier if he could find a donor. Yes, he needed a Black Swan. Someone who would allow him to feed off them willingly regularly. However, this would mean commitment and John could never commit to anyone ever again. The one thing he liked about travelling with the speed train was its punctuality. It would be much easier to run home at the incredible speed he was capable of or flying there, but it would also attract a lot more attention to him, something he could not afford in this modern age. The last he needed was another vampire hunter on his trail. The trained pulled into the station at exactly five o clock. John boarded and took his seat. He liked routine. It made him feel safe. Nothing on the train looked appetizing enough. Over the years living in the city, John became picky when it came to feeding and since Dorothy left it became worse. He preferred feeding off men. Their energy was much stronger and as he liked a challenge during the hunt, this presented him with much opportunity and satisfaction. Shortly after the divorce John moved in with his brother, Stephan. It was Stephan who introduced him to the dark, seedy side of gay night life. Leather and cruise bars made the ideal hunting ground.Gay men frequenting these spots made the ideal prey. They were normally trashed out of their minds on drugs and never even really noticed when they were being drained. Being with men in that way made John feel less guilty as he wasn t being unfaithful to Dorothy with another woman. John took his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed his brother s number. Stephan and John had shared many lives together. They weren t blood brothers. John was there when Stephan was turned in the late 1700 s. He could still remember it as if it was yesterday.

It was early evening, shortly after sunset. The world was a harsh place back then. Humans were more open about their savage natures than they were today. As John approached Stephan s homestead he could make out a faint, ghostly red glow against the night sky. He immediately knew something was wrong. He spurred his horse on to run faster. Farm attacks in this part of the country was still rampant. John spoke to Stephan on many occasions prior to this night about selling the farm and moving to the city. Although John only saw humans as cattle, he had a special bond with Stephan. His friend reminded him much of his own little brother, who had died five hundred years before. As the glow became brighter on the horizon, John s acute sense of smell started telling him a story. His friend s house was ablaze. He could also pick up on the faint scent of fresh blood. Stephan was injured. He was still alive though, but he was injured. John leaped off his horse. He could ran much faster as the animal. Not that he liked displays of this nature in public, but this was an emergency. Within the blink of an eye, John stood at the stairs leading up to the front door. The whole house was engulfed in flames. The wood crackled and glass exploded in the hell in front of John. He squinted his eyes. Even the intensity of this light was too much for his sensitive eyes. He raised his hands and 7

shielded his eyes against the bright light. John rushed inside. He could smell his friend. Above the crackling of the flames, he could make out a faint heartbeat. Stephan was going to die.

John found him lying in the dining room. The Cape Dutch home s white walls were slowly turning black from the smoke and soot. Beams were collapsing from the high ceilings. Stephan! he called. There was no reaction from his friend. The floor was covered in a stream of thick red blood. John could not help the sickening urge that overcame him. What a waste of food. Life Force spilt everywhere. Savages, he thought, grabbing his friend around the waist, lifting him over his shoulder. They were outside on the lawn in a flash. Stephan . Can you hear me? There was no reaction. His human friend s light was fading, and fading fast. John s mind raced. Stephan was his only friend. The only person who knew of his true nature. The only human who ever accepted him for who and what he was. Stephan was the only person John had ever met who would gladly lay down his life if he had to save John. John wasn t capable of loving anyone. Humans died. John was immortal. It meant heartache and pain when then those John cared for deeply did cross over. He wasn t going to allow this to happen again. But what if Stephan did not want this? What if he was happy being human. Happy with his soul reincarnating in another body one day? John s mind was still racing. Vampires were not like humans. They were immortal. Humans died and reincarnated again at some point in another body Vampires had a choice. They could either stay in one body, or if things got too sticky for them, they could switch bodies. Their souls, however, always remained Vampire. They always returned as Vampires. Their souls never rested. Stephan s heartbeat became even fainter. He hardly breathed now. His body was damp and cold. John could hardly feel any life force in his friend. He only had a few seconds left if he wanted to save the young man s life. He smiled sadly. Is this actually saving a life, or is it cursing someone he cared for deeply? A curse Stephan would carry with him for the rest of his immortal life. John slipped his own wrist in between his lips. There was no more time to waste. This meant life . Or in Stephan s case probable death. He could feel his sharp fangs now. Growing . ready John bit down hard. He flinched as his teeth pierced through his own skin and blood gushed over his lips. Crimson rivulets of warm blood running over his chin. He hated the taste of his own blood. It tasted dry, like cheap old dry wine. John grabbed his friend s mouth and forced it open. He pressed his wrist against Stephan s mouth, making sure he was swallowing. Drink my friend . he whispered. He held his wrist against Stephan s mouth for what felt like an eternity. Then he pulled away gently. The transformation process wasn t complete yet. How wrong did people have it. You don t turn another Vampire by simply giving them your blood. You also had to give them the breath of life.


For I am the only God that is . John thought. Jehovah gave Adam life, by giving him His breath. Now I am going to give you eternal life by giving you my breath, my friend. He opened Stephan s mouth slightly. The deep red blood on his lips reflected the light of the blazing fire behind the two men. Stephan s lips were slightly parted. His snow white teeth now stained with blood. John gently placed his own lips on his friend s. Stephan s lips were cold. John preferred this cold feeling. He never liked the warmth human bodies possessed. He pulled his friend s nearly lifeless body closer to his, embracing him tightly. Stephan s limb body slotted in against John s almost perfectly. For a split second John had a strange warm feeling rush through his own body. Could this be what humans experience when they feel love? he thought. This macabre love scene in some very strange way aroused John in a way that he never experienced before. But there was no time to analyze his feelings right now. Time was of the essence. He inhaled deeply through his nose, nearly choking on the smell of the burning building which was about to completely collapse. He exhaled through his mouth, blessing the dying man with immortal life. Stephan s eyes nearly immediately flung open ..

Hey Steph, I am in the mood for a good party. Feel like going to the Vamp Haven tonight? John asked. Vamp Haven was the only Vampire Club in Johannesburg. The location was kept a secret and its mere existence was only known to other Vampires. Not particularly. I am not in the mood for a bunch of pompous vampires, Stephan replied. John smiled. Stephan never liked other vampires. Many in the community would see him as a renegade as he had too much sympathy with humans sometimes. Almost all Vampires hated the Renegades. It was these people who destroyed the vampire Gods Golden Age of Rule. They were generally younger Vampires who had joined the ranks of Those Who had Risen. However, they could never let go of their human natures completely and strongly identified with their mortal origins. These infant Gods then initiated a rebellion against their Superiors. They felt too much compassion for the human cattlewhom lived only to serve their Vampire masters. Thus the first great wars erupted and the Vampire race was torn in two. I need to feed brother, John said. It has been a while since I last fed. Your skin going tender again? Stephan was concerned. Yeah, and I am really running on reserves. I don t even bleed at the moment, so feeding on my own blood is not an option. Why don t we hit one of the sleaze clubs in downtown Jo burg tonight? I am sure you will find something to entertain you there. 9

That was the best suggestion John had heard all day. Great, he said. See you at the station in a couple of minutes. We can go home, change and hit the road.

Studying with her Wiccan Circle in Johannesburg, Dorothy had heard about an underworld consisting of people who act out their vampire fantasies. She never gave it much thought as she was under the impression that creatures like that only existed in novels and fantasy. She was addicted to the HBO television series True Blood. She had not missed a single episode since its first screening on television. She was a devout follower. Never could she have imagined that she had her very own vampire Bill. She lived with the man for nearly three years. How stupid was she? Dorothy sat down in front of her computer. She was still trembling. She flicked a strand of hair out her face and logged on. She carried her years well. A few grey hairs started showing their nasty faces between her fiery red bush of hair. Not that it bothered her much. Those you could still cover with hair coloring. A few thin laugh lines stared to web their way around her eyes. Laugh lines,,, she thought. Studying her reflection in the computer screen. I haven t done much of that the last couple of months. It was difficult for a 44-year-old to rebuild life. After she left John, she moved as far away as she could from the memories. Had Cape Town be any further, it would have suited her better. Hell the north pole was still not far enough. She was lucky to land herself a job at a local backpackers. The salary was crap, but at least she had free lodging and food. She was also given an opportunity to study tourism through the new company. An opportunity she grasped with both hands. She opened John s e-mail and started reading. People so often associate darkness with evil. Evil is a human term. When we fear something we are so quick to make it off as evil. I realize this is human nature, but I want to beg you not to fear what I am Dorothy. I want you to think about nature. You follow a nature based religion, so this might make sense to you. Nature is not only good my angel. As you know nature is both cruel and kind. Nature is beautiful, but it is also harsh. Weak animals die, or they fall prey to those predators stronger than them. That is the food chain. Predators need to survive as well. It is the same with Vampires. We are at the top of the food chain and we need to feed off humans to survive. Not all of us kill our victims. Most of us only take what we need. Life feeds on life. I am sorry to tell you this, but as a vegetarian you are a plant killer. Does this make nature evil? There is a dark side to everything in life. And the darkness is not always evil or negative. Sometimes we find the most incredible beauty in the dark, all we have to do is embrace it.


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