7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton

7 Ways to

Loving Yourself
WELCOME. So you’ve decided on wanting to love yourself but are a little confused about exactly what that means... Most of us cannot look in the mirror and see ourselves with love, admiration and respect. We find fault with the way we look, the way our body looks and many of the things we do in life. Of course there are varying degrees of how this pans out in your life but the important thing is, if we decide to love ourselves UNCONDITIONALLY then the benefits are huge in EVERY area of our lives. So, want to know how? Fall in love with yourself. Think about what makes you YOU. Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. It means being gentle and kind to yourself no matter what has happened in the past. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You. Love yourself like a best friend. When your love for yourself becomes deeper, the real You begins to emerge from beyond the reflection, a masterful, deeply loving being that is your birth right and has been lost to you until now... Master the following 7 steps – the keys to boosting love for yourself:

Oscar Wilde quote (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)


What is it saying to you? Try to talk to it. critical voices and messages we heard as a child. By changing what we tell ourselves and taking on empowering self fulfilling affirmations – our perceptions about life are altered. Affirmation: “My inner dialogue is kind & loving” www. just like going to the gym. Often we may barely recognize that they‟re even there. Or write out what you would say to a friend if a friend said those things about her/himself. see if you can connect to a deep.au . or we don't consciously listen to them. See if you can figure who or where these beliefs come from. begin now to make an effort to stop the self criticism. play over and over in our minds. but little by little we begin to see improvements and little miracles occurring in our lives. one by one.7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton 1.empowering messages. Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that tells you that you are “no good” or “stupid” or “foolish”. They continue to impact how we feel and think about ourselves. So try noticing the next time you hear a small (or loud) voice inside your head criticizing you. You are really free to make up your own mind about the way you talk to yourself. For example. Those old. Ask that voice why it feels it needs to say those things. When we change from listening to our crappy messages to telling ourselves the complete opposite . Then write out a response that counteracts each of those messages. Our confidence builds. wise part inside of you. If you find that you criticise yourself often. Perhaps that part of you decided to take on those messages you heard as a child.turnyourlifearound. Write down all the negative or critical thoughts and messages you hear inside your head.com. CHANGE NEGATIVE SELF TALK Eliminate Self Criticism. self belief grows and we take back the steering wheel in the control of our lives. Of course it takes time to build the muscle. “I’m not smart enough” becomes “I am amazingly smart and I have many talents” If you're having trouble writing out counter messages. we can change our lives to produce miracles. Make the counter messages as strong and loving as you can.

Acknowledge and indulge yourself. supporting your development. ☺ In fact. empowering actions will follow and begin to evolve. Nurture your soul. When you can begin to think kindly and positively about yourself. it is the effort that counts! Acknowledge that you‟ve done your best. choosing to nurture your SELF. But how about taking back the responsibility of acknowledging yourself and bring a smile to your face. It‟s not always about winning or having success in everything that we do. dignity and appreciation you truly deserve.” www. If we wait for recognition from others and we don't get it. By starting with supporting thoughts. Instead of looking for others to pat you on the back.turnyourlifearound. preferably. instead tell yourself what a really wonderful job you‟re doing. it‟s rather. – No. it‟s not being SELFish. Treat yourself. Even. the love you have for yourself just grows. Give yourself the respect. we can become hurt and resentful. Start now to make it a habit to praise yourself daily. to acknowledge yourself is to say that you‟re doing a great job with what you have in the best way you can. On the other hand. Beating ourselves up. the positive reinforcement stays with us. ACKNOWLEDGE YOURSELF When we acknowledge ourselves we‟re appreciating and supporting ourselves and in that state we can be happy that we‟re doing the best job we know how. standing in the front of the mirror.7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton 2. when we compliment ourselves. there's something fundamentally unsatisfying about external praise. Many times. when others do acknowledge us. So if you‟ve been working hard and decide to take a day off – instead of rushing around after others.au . Too many times we reprimand others for not taking the time to congratulate or acknowledge us. reward yourself. Affirmation: “I choose to dwell in a world of love and acceptance. take time out for yourself. even if you have failed to produce tangible results. Don‟t judge or criticise yourself. criticising.com. expecting others to acknowledge us. not even considering the good we‟ve achieved can lead to having a low opinion of ourselves.

you can notice the beauty within yourself. Take extra time to notice nature. The ego will want to interfere and say “no. You deserve to have your deepest desires manifest into your life. We become grateful and empowered. When you notice and see the beauty in everything including yourself. the beauty and rich color of flowers. Feeling worthy means we can accept good into our lives. We can change our perception to feel worthy of love and with that comes a knowing that anything is possible. What a great place to be! Standing tall within your space. When you begin to notice beauty outside of yourself. but gently dismiss the ego. Just allow the feelings. Connects us with that infinite well of love for ourselves just waiting to be tapped into. 1911-1989) Affirmation: “I deserve & manifest the best in life” www.7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton 3. love enters into your heart. Stand tall and tell yourself you deserve the best – feel the deeper knowing within you.” Lucille Ball quotes (American radio and motion-picture actress and comedy star. What do you desire the most? See yourself accepting that desire gratefully and graciously into your life. the window to your soul. YOU ARE VALUED & WORTHY OF LOVE When we feel worthless we don‟t value ourselves. Imagine yourself accepting gratefully and feeling worthy of all that is good and great. Feelings of worthiness can be truly transformational. just as when we were children and noticed only the good in our reflections. We don‟t judge ourselves. This is your truth. someone possibly told us we didn‟t deserve to be loved. You deserve to have love because you are created from spirit – you are great. We probably look to others for validation. Now it‟s time to let go of the rules and conditions for being loved. “Love yourself first and everything falls into line. Most of us don‟t value ourselves. and we deserve only the best.au . there is a depth within you that is a well of beauty and love. You are not what you see. just appreciation and a knowing that you deserve to have the best. we transcend a different view of ourselves which is so much more nurturing. and the soothing sound of the ocean. Or they told us that people with money don‟t deserve to have love. there are no expectations.com. When we begin to see our own beauty. the amazing way a tree sways in the wind. We often criticise how we look and are our own worst enemies.turnyourlifearound. you are powerful. Or they told us you needed to be attractive to be loved. See beyond your reflection through your eyes. you are a creator. Or you needed to have a good career before others would love you. In this space. We came into this world as loving beings and somewhere along the way. life takes on a new dimension. When you begin to notice beauty. no judgement. you know you‟re not worthy”.

That same day. I say. Listen to your feelings and trust that they are right. 1903-1998) Affirmation: “I trust that life will provide me with everything I need & want” www. I received two more bookings! That is just one example of the magic of trust! A great read is “The Secrets of the Rainmaker” by Chin-Ning Chu all about creating success without stress and how trusting can work magic for you. When I give it up to the universe. your Higher Self. you are guided to the right choices. If we fail to trust we fail to address our own inner powerful access to knowledge.” Benjamin Spock quotes (American Paediatrician and Author. I get my wish! It‟s about believing you‟ll have your desire. It will move you in the direction of your life‟s journey. so just allow and trust the universe to take over and help your wishes to manifest. How many times have you gone for the second choice that comes to mind and then berated yourself for not following your gut (first) feeling. Within 3 weeks. Before I met my wonderful partner. your fears. The idea then came to me that I could decide to let go and just trust that the workshop would go ahead. off again relationship. I always believed that some day I would marry and have a family. “Trust yourself. When a decision needs to be made – do you base it on your intuition (your feeling or that flash of inspiration) that comes to you or do you rely on your left brain. You know more than you think you do. rather than needing to have it. It‟s putting aside your doubts. I felt free and let go of the need to have a partner in my life. “OK I give up. Listen to the messages you are receiving via your intuition to help you along the way.com. To trust yourself is to connect with yourself on a deeper level. your beliefs. When I finally let go.7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton 4. On many occasions.turnyourlifearound. Learn to rely on and trust your own feelings where it matters. I have put myself under pressure in wanting to achieve something. When I scheduled my workshop in May 2009. TRUST AND LISTEN TO YOUR INNER WISDOM „Trusting‟ will guide you to be in tune with your innermost desires. It involves believing in a world that goes beyond what we have here on earth. When you trust your feelings. it‟s your turn now” & voila. your logic. even if you are consciously unaware of what that is. Too often we check in with others to decide for us whether we‟re taking the right or wrong action. I had broken up with a previous boyfriend in an on again. my partner of 17 years entered my life. Trust is having faith in our inner wisdom and just allowing. God – whatever it is for you.au . Trusting the universe. It‟s about letting go of the need to hold on. I didn‟t have enough people booked in to go ahead and run it and with only three days remaining I was beside myself! I was on the verge of cancelling.

find compassion in your heart for the suffering of your inner child. All of us make mistakes. Like each part holding onto a rope. Forgiveness is about letting go of thoughts of revenge and resentment. When we release our end of the rope. then you do need to forgive yourself. Your ex boss told you lies. Forgiveness is truly liberating As well as forgiving others. Who do we need to forgive? Your partner had an affair and left you. knowing that we are worthy of forgiveness. you are freeing up yourself – the relationship HAS to change. Or if you‟ve been carrying around a baggage of emotional hurt because of a childhood trauma. If you have made mistakes in the past that has caused you to feel unworthy. We continue to hold onto grudges. the pain stays. By focusing on past events and people who damaged us we are kept firmly stuck in the past.com. its understanding that we cannot know what it is to live in another‟s shoes and its acknowledging that if we had lived that persons‟ life we would be acting just the same.turnyourlifearound. To be ready or willing to forgive yourself. the guilty party. Your father abandoned you as a child. Affirmation: Forgiveness is the Healing Tool I carry with me everywhere www. pulling at either end – resistance. When you forgive. Your mother never gave you the love you craved. nothing budges. we also need to forgive ourselves. resentment and pain associated with past events and there is always a culprit. so there really is no need to beat yourself up over them. FORGIVE YOURSELF Every past event that we hold onto holds us back from having joy and freedom in our lives.7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton 5. Who would subject their best friend to a life sentence of recrimination for opportunities missed and mistakes made? Avoid self-blame and labelling yourself a loser or fool. you must be compassionate.au . It doesn‟t minimize or justify the act. Forgiveness is to disconnect our emotions and feelings from the event. a person we blame. Set yourself free. So where does re-living the story over and over in our minds leave us? Dwelling on the same event in our minds just succeeds in embedding it further and further deeper into our subconscious mind and keeps us connected to the event locked into its‟ grief and misery. Finding forgiveness in your heart will release you from the past. Forgiveness is NOT condoning bad behaviour. limiting you.

Now I can celebrate!” Or the other choice is “Why didn’t everyone come? – no one likes me.turnyourlifearound. because you weren‟t good enough to stand in your limelight. You can become free of the chains to your negativity. Personal power is being free of every negative belief anyone ever told you. Personal power is already there within you – it‟s just that you haven‟t been aware that you can reach out for whatever it is you lack in your life. have you got this eagle living in with the chickens?" "Well. "No. "Why in the world. We all have negative beliefs we were given by school teachers. Have you heard the Eagle & Chicken story from Dave Fleming? A great leader was visiting a chicken farmer one day and was surprised to see a beautiful eagle in the farmer‟s chicken coop. So now we know. parents. The eagle was pecking the grain and drinking from the watering can. he doesn’t know what it means to fly.” And so if you focused on “no one likes me”. over-sized chicken. relatives. churches. when you become aware of these beliefs we‟ve held on to for SO LONG. and I doubt he ever will. he thinks he is a chicken.com. work – So shake those disempowering beliefs free. He doesn’t know any better. you do have the power to change them. TAP INTO YOUR OWN PERSONAL POWER Personal Power is all about who we are on a deeper level. I found him when he was little and raised him in there with the chickens. said the farmer. turn them around.au . And you refused to have a 21st or any other celebration. When we step into our power we build a new relationship with ourselves." www. answered the farmer.7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton 6. You had a choice – “wow isn’t it great to have my 5 best friends turn up. Imagine that when you were young you had a birthday party and you invited the whole class and only 5 kids turned up. he asked. The eagle kept his eyes on the ground and strutted around in circles. looking every inch a big." The leader was dumbfounded. It‟s about feeling proud of who we are. – We become AMAZING! We have no limits. "Doesn’t he ever try to spread his wings and fly out of there?" asked the leader. that became your mantra throughout life and so you searched for evidence to confirm that belief.

. away from the bad examples of chicken lifestyle. The great leader smiled and thought how happy he was with his days work.” www. "let me take him out and do a few experiments with him.turnyourlifearound. but assured the leader that he was wasting his time. the undaunted leader took the ruffled chicken/eagle to the farmer‟s hay loft and spread it‟s wings before tossing it high in the air with the command "FLY!" The frightened bird shrieked and fell ungraciously to the barn-yard where it resumed pecking the ground in search of it‟s dinner. he said. After a lengthy and sweaty climb to the crest of the butte with the bird tucked under his arm. spread your wings and take the leap in faith. he lifted the eagle up and once more commanded it to "FLY!" He tossed it out in space and this time. It slowly climbed in ever higher spirals. let other people define his worth and direct his life for him. You are an Eagle. he had for many years. The leader lifted the bird to the top of the chicken coop fence and said "FLY!" He pushed the reluctant bird off the fence and it fell to the ground in a pile of dusty feathers." Having said these final words... gawked at and out of your element. you were born to soar. "Friend.7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton "Well. Next.. said the leader. He set the docile bird on the front seat of his pickup truck next to him and headed for the highest butte in the country. riding unseen thermals of hot air until it disappeared into the glare of the morning sun." The farmer agrees. Like the eagle. it opened it‟s seven-foot wingspan and flew gracefully into the sky.you can do it!!! Affirmation: “The point of power is always in the present moment. much to his relief.com. Like the eagle. he spoke gently to the golden bird. The leader again picked up the eagle and decided to give it one more chance in a more appropriate environment. It is better that you die here today on the rocks below than live the rest of your life being a chicken in a pen. it had taken a life and death situation for him to realize his self worth and real calling in life.au ..

It‟s the same with the universe. knowing that life supports me at all times” www. our animals. DEVELOP A SENSE OF GRATITUDE Who doesn‟t want to live a more joyful life? But how can we achieve it? How can we live a joyful life despite the not-so-good things that occasionally happen in our lives? Express gratitude for the person that you are. can you?).7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton 7. When we first do this exercise it is difficult to find many things to be grateful for. the coffee you shared this morning. The more we notice the little things. It has been found that the lack of self love is often the root cause of conditions such as eating disorders. our material possessions. Affirmation: “I relax. Your body is a temple and you should treat it with respect. The more you feel grateful. the more we become grateful. feel a sense of gratitude that you are alive and well. you most likely are in the top tier of the world‟s richness ranking! You will be grateful if your mind focuses on what you have rather than what you don’t have. nature. the more the universe gives back to us. In fact. the wonderful conversation you had yesterday. The universe loves gratitude. Realise what a blessing it is to live in peace. Surround yourself with positive people who themselves are grateful people. cultivate an appreciation for your strengths and gifts. Most people focus on receiving which makes their mind focus on what they don’t have. It‟s can be difficult for you to be grateful if the people you meet with are negative people. love and care. you are richer than billions of other people. probably. and fully capable of making a difference in your life. Say someone gives you a present. For instance. your mind will focus on what you have rather than what you don‟t have (you can‟t give something you don‟t have.au . Look After Your Body. and it will be much easier and natural for you to be a grateful person. we can find many ways to be joyful and grateful. I hate that”. However as we look further around us and look to our families. Yet if you say It‟s a wonderful present”. By giving. That person will never give you another present. The more you‟re grateful for what‟s in your life. Often we complain we don‟t have enough money.turnyourlifearound. This. It is important that you strengthen yourself with proper nutrition and regular exercise. the smile you received in surprise.com. But do you realize how rich you are now? Chances are. And you say “Oh. Also. the more the universe will provide to you. is one of the main reasons that makes it difficult for us to be grateful. that person will bring you more.

In addition to study courses and workshops.com.com.au Life meant to be miserable. Koti Thornton Mobile: 0425 786 510 Email: turnyourlifearound@bigpond.  Learn to fall in love with yourself & fee love towards others more easily  How to lift your emotional state to feeling wonderful  How to create your daily life however you desire  Recognise that you don‟t have to live with stress. If you really want to experience love. mediocre nor mundane.turnyourlifearound. consider attending my HYL workshops/study course. I offer one to one coaching in a safe private session where you can seize the power that is already within you & use it to lead a life of your own design.7 Ways to Loving Yourself  Koti Thornton I trust that you have gotten benefit out of these steps and you see the way clear to loving yourself more deeply. Become aware. Special Offer: Phone today to receive a free 30-minute trial coaching session. no obligation session to show you how life coaching can help you achieve your goals – you‟ll get results even from one session!  How to love yourself more fully & deeply  How to let go of past pain With best wishes.au .com http://www. Notice. LIFE WAS MEANT TO BE MAGNIFICENT!!! www. In our workshops and study courses we elaborate on the 7 steps I have outlined in this e-book as well as many other techniques which allow the simple process of change.turnyourlifearound. Allow calm & balance to flow through you. It‟s a free. Change within you will create change outside of you.