Bondage for people, not parcels

by Esinem/Bruce Argue- www.esinem.com In all of my years exploring rope, the most important thing that I have discovered about bondage is that it should not be like wrapping a parcel. It is not simply a matter of being able to tie a particular knot, or replicate a specific tie exactly, but also to do it with feeling and create an energy flow with your partner. I find that too often people become distracted by learning elaborate knots, discussing rope and other technicalities at the expense of this. Bondage is more about the way that you do it than what you do or what materials are used. However, this does not mean that safety, good technique and appropriate equipment are not vital. I would compare a bondage scene to a passionate dance like the tango- you're in very close contact with your partner, one of you leads and the other follows, and together you produce something magical. If one were to merely follow the steps laid out in a dance instruction manual, the dance could be millimetre perfect but, without passion, it would be nothing more than a mechanical exercise and emotionally dead. Bondage is no different. Sadly, many people miss the point. They fail to make the emotional connection, end up becoming detached and merely 'wrap parcels'. Binding your lover should not be a destination to be reached, but a journey to be enjoyed and savoured. I have found a wide variety of ways to avoid 'wrapping parcels' over the years. If I am tying somebody for the first time, I try to get an idea of what will push their buttons and discover from which perspective they approach bondage. Are they drawn to rope for SM, D/s, M/s, or as a sensual experience? As with any for of BDSM or sexual activity, I have found that if I go down the wrong avenue, I will have a loser from the start. The situation will usually determine how I come to my conclusions. If I already know the person to some extent, I might have some insights into their tastes from conversations, a web profile or watching them play with others. However, sometimes I am asked to tie somebody in a club who I have not met before that moment. In these instances, I might whisper in their ear where between 'soft and sensual' to 'hard and nasty' their preferences lie. Other times, I rely on non-verbal cues, such as demeanour and reactions. For example, when I encounter bratty subs who want to fight back a little or try to escape, they tend to respond to a more forceful approach before finally submitting. Usually, with this type of interaction, my bondage will become opportunistic and struggling limbs will be pinned and roped in whatever position they present themselves. I enjoy the challenge of this sort of encounter and the opportunities for mischief it presents; even though it is invariably not a question of who will win but when they will lose. It always has that exhilaration that comes with any sort of play fighting. On the other hand, the ones that drop their eyes, offer their wrists to be tied and act submissively are more likely to be compliant, allowing me to decide on positions for tying. The way they react to touch is also a good clue. My most simple 'Litmus test' is to grab a good handful of hair and draw the head back. Their reaction to this simple move speaks volumes. I am not the only one who has used a test like this. Almost 30 years ago in the Japanese magazine “Venus” Akechi Denki (one of the greatest of modern shibari masters, teachers and performers who passed in 2005) was quoted as saying "I can usually find whether a girl has an M [submissive] side or not. When meeting,

even if I have played with them before. or by some other method. If I want to push them into a sense of imbalance or fear. what's the point?” During any scene. whether this is verbal or non-verbal. This style. She was somewhat bemused as bondage in Japan always seems quite a serious affair. other times it will not. Other positions can be largely practical. play fighting and ultimately satisfaction at having rendered them helpless. some Japanese girls exhibit an unique demeanour which delightfully combines this demureness with intensive submissiveness. one should never underestimate . regardless of the skill of the rigger. weren't you?" to which. Adding a blindfold to the equation can also be an extremely potent tool for enforcing an emotion through the way they are tied. I recall the reaction of a Japanese bondage artist to watching me engaged in a scene that involved the latter. vulnerability (especially in the case of men unable to guard the testicles) or uneasiness. and when the feedback is negative.in which case. is called 'shuuchi-nawa'. However. Communication is another key. Perhaps I would like to enforce a concept of servility. this is not the easy stereotype it might seem. with a certain amount of teasing. ties where the genitals are exposed and they are unable to hide or protect them can create shame. it will rest on the chemistry between the two of you. Her comment was:" You two were really having fun. For example. frustration. Passionate bondage is not an exact science. some of it will still come down to intuition and luck. the sub giving up all control to the rope top and it being a matter of honour not to back down during a scene. Predicament ties. such as putting a leg into a stressful position then connecting that line to a nipple clamp or hair bondage. and I find this almost invariably makes for a more rewarding session. Whilst learning and observation can improve matters. sensual and loving bringing out the deepest connections. Obviously. you need to make sure that they cannot actually fall by securing the bondage to a suspension point. breathing and the look in their eyes. a bed or in a suitable pose for a particular activity. It certainly helps to be tying a true rope-slut. which can be seen in much of Yukimura Haruki's. I replied "If We're not having fun. Another tool to consider is positions. one pays attention to feedback and builds on that feedback. bashfulness and nawa=rope. allowing each scene the opportunity to be improved. the game is played a little differently with safe-words being uncommon. There is no magic formula that works every time. lack of enthusiasm is the only thing more infectious than enthusiasm. After all.my understanding is that in Japan. Both sides spelling out what is working and what is not in a positive and constructive way can also be helpful to this end. embarrassment. laughter. be it sex or play. Playing on the sense of embarrassment seems to be a key element in the Japanese approach. ultimately. Others still will be frivolous affairs. where the concept of shame is particularly intense culturally. In my experience. Some sessions will be tender. However. I can destabilize them by lifting one leg off the ground. can a deliciously sadistic element. pull back and reexamine what messages might have been misinterpreted. When that feedback is positive. Others will be like doing battle. keep following the clues laid out. who goes into ecstasy as the mere thought of being tied.one of the ways of finding out is by grabbing her hair and pulling her down slowly to the ground. Sometimes everything will click intuitively. It is simply a question of improving the odds and.” Just like in good sex. I can put my partner in a bowed or kneeling pose. I might want to secure somebody to a piece of dungeon furniture. I always try to be aware of the body language. The pose I tie someone in can have dramatic effects on the bottom psychologically. shuuchi= shyness. which can create a constant battle within themselves that some bottoms find quite disturbing. It cannot be achieved only by book or formal learning.

To me. I have discovered many nuances. tempo is also important. pinching the skin or allowing the end to whip up into the face. Even for the most sensuous scene. and reduces the time spent on the less tactile tie-offs. not a negative. Unlike parcels. a guarding hand and lifting bindings to create room to pull through can avoid this. A further factor is the degree of decisiveness. whilst providing a contrast between the feel of the two actions. I attempt to build incrementally to a crescendo. I am constantly aware of what the whole rope is doing. Depending on the sensation I wish to create. whereas the latter might be faster. If one is not on top of this. which can lead to moments of extreme submission for even the most hardy and recalcitrant. but more importantly. An opening move I love is when I have a hank of rope stored in a half-bow and. and I believe this applies to bondage as well. If you are fumbling this initial tie or spending ages trying to untangle a rat's nest of rope. especially those flailing loose ends. punishment and interrogation long before they became a tool for eroticism. This gives the message straight away that I am in control and clearly indicates that the session has begun. which is the more tactile element. this might be a gentle or strong tension. both in terms of providing sensuality and avoiding unintentional discomfort. It unequivocally says "I mean business". or even neutral. compared to the limp. it focuses the sub's attention on the deliberateness of the binding and how liberty is slowly being removed. In terms of application. . A little attention.which is the more significant tends to depend upon whether it is a performance or private play. This might be by upping the tempo and/or gradually increasing the tension of the bindings or degree of restriction. I might employ varying tempos during the process. yet completing tie-offs rapidly. for example. maintaining this is vital and I feel that I am relinquishing control and losing connection if I relax this tension. taking an end in either hand. Subconsciously I will often fall into step with whatever music is playing. It is the equivalent to a firm handshake. I believe that one should take control immediately and assertively when tying. The order of restraint is also significant for me. By being in control of the rope. one. you can easily lose the moment and are unlikely to give the impression of a competent rope top. It is well worth mastering the technique of achieving this step slickly and quickly. This places more emphasis on the wrapping. but the mood of the scene will also be a big influence. Most impressions are made in the first 30 seconds. It is an important psychological moment and one that has more significance than meekly offered wrists or patiently waiting for them to be tied while other bondage is completed. 'wet-fish' variety or a strong opening in dance. wrapping slowly. makes a powerful statement and creates a clear beginning. I can look into my sub's eyes and snap the hank undone. My movements can be almost dream-like in a soft and sensual scene. Simple details such as being able to smoothly flick out a coil of rope without tangles can make a huge difference. Not only does this prevent the wraps slipping. Start by creating a positive reaction. In both instances. just as I do with my hands. The first is the degree of firmness used to apply the rope.the effect of time. it is easy to lose the mood by causing rope burn by pulling badly routed rope too fast. This mindset is probably the most important in avoiding 'wrapping parcels'. I usually keep some tension on the rope at all times. In order to assert dominance. The former example would usually be slow paced. I like to think of the rope as an extension of my hands. As with any erotic process I engage in. This fact was known to the originators of Japanese bondage who used stress positions in torture. I like to be purposeful in my handling and mindful of the routing of the rope in order to maximize the erotic potential. I like to begin by grasping the wrists to move them into position and maintaining a grip until the first wrap secures them. yet they might be more abrupt and forceful if dominance and control is the objective. people are aware of these feelings.

His hand remembers what his mind no longer needs to be conscious of. as in dance. he will probably mimic the motion with the gear shift hand before answering. However. This is not to say that I don't enjoy the aesthetics. yet he will 'pull the punch' by deliberately relaxing to complete the move. it can even be teasingly withdrawn. but for many people. whilst nicely accentuating the action. assuming it is used doubled in kinbaku style. all distraction drops away and I have frequently been unable to even say what music was playing. From my perspective. Bondage can thus be one of the more physically contact intensive areas of SM. but is deceptively soft. apparently emotionless dominant is a favourite role. Nothing else exists beyond the here and now. Choosing the demeanour that matches your intention is of great importance. Admittedly. A complimentary component is the degree of smoothness. He will move quickly and decisively to apply a body wrap. I use both of these tricks frequently now as I feel they emphasize the act of tying and process of restriction. Body contact makes the whole experience intimate. again adding punctuation to one's actions. seductive or dominant. A common mistake is to think a scene is over once a particular tie has been created and to forget that untying can be just as erotic as . I find a more dynamic and interactive scene. Good bondage is not just about creating a work of art and then sitting back to admire your handiwork. part of the joy of good rope work is the way it can enhance the beauty of the person I am tying. where there is some tying and re-tying. more fulfilling. uses an interesting combination of techniques. Smoothness is far easier to achieve with the right length of rope. the turn on is the embrace of the rope. I began to tie intuitively. carried along on the flow of the scene and not being distracted by the practical aspects.Osada Steve. one of the world's top kinbakushi. whilst you slowly wind rope around their body. Consider also that you cannot successfully tango at arms length. Parcels don't care. With practice. It can be soft or aggressive. There is a massive difference between standing two feet away to tie and sitting with your partner between your thighs and reaching around. it appears rope is usually a serious business for them. As an integral part of this. A perfect example of this muscle memory is the way if you ask the driver of a stick shift where reverse is. how you choose to use physical contact will influence the mood. the real secret is practicing until your brain is hardly aware of what you are doing and your muscles have learned the process of tying. I am not of the school of poker-faced Japanese rope-masters with their ubiquitous dark glasses. Once my mind became free of having to “think” about what I was doing. which appear to hide the last vestiges of emotion. holding them close. However. I usually try to create an uninterrupted flow. I suspect the image of the inscrutable. This allows the rope to be pulled through in a single movement. How much more powerful is this when combined with a physical embrace? Again. simply 'gift wrapping' might be the name of the game for a photo shoot but I am discussing real bondage scenes. Even in a busy and noisy club. rather than a clumsy hand over hand like a sailor hauling up an anchor. The magic length is equivalent to four times the span of one's outstretched arms. I prefer to draw on a wider range of emotions and share those with my partner. Another technique he taught me was to tug knots and turns. It looks savage. one's whole demeanour should be appropriate. It is when my mind is freed in this way that the activity becomes almost meditative and the sense of 'oneness' is most apparent. You are not distanced in the same way that you might be by a whip or flogger. let alone answer somebody's question about what I thought of the DJ. it can become an uninterrupted process without indecisive moments to break the hypnotic effect.

On the other hand. they tend to respond to a more forceful approach before finally submitting. and together you produce something magical. mindful rope handling and. It always has that exhilaration that comes with any sort of play fighting. I would compare a bondage scene to a passionate dance like the tango. some simple ties and a lot of feeling. passion. removing rope should be a leisurely business to ensure a smooth landing from sub-space. Bondage is more about the way that you do it than what you do or what materials are used. but also to do it with feeling and create an energy flow with your partner. I might have some insights into their tastes from conversations. but a journey to be enjoyed and savoured. M/s. this does not mean that safety. It should become a medium of exchange and communication. many people miss the point. a web profile or watching them play with others. such as demeanour and reactions. The situation will usually determine how I come to my conclusions. Sadly. learning exotic technical skills or suspension will never make them fly. For example. not your body". In all of my years exploring rope. it can be as unerotic as having bedding suddenly ripped away on a cold morning. The key to this is to understand your partner's needs and meet them through a combination of physical contact. However. the most important thing that I have discovered about bondage is that it should not be like wrapping a parcel. My interpretation of bondage is not simply 'a means of restraint'. In these instances. the . Are they drawn to rope for SM. my bondage will become opportunistic and struggling limbs will be pinned and roped in whatever position they present themselves. I rely on non-verbal cues. even though it is invariably not a question of who will win but when they will lose. If the untying is rushed. good technique and appropriate equipment are not vital. sometimes I am asked to tie somebody in a club who I have not met before that moment. If I already know the person to some extent. I enjoy the challenge of this sort of encounter and the opportunities for mischief it presents. D/s. However. I have found that if I go down the wrong avenue. If one were to merely follow the steps laid out in a dance instruction manual. It is not simply a matter of being able to tie a particular knot. Unless there is a good reason. Bondage is no different. it would be nothing more than a mechanical exercise and emotionally dead. I will have a loser from the start. above all. Binding your lover should not be a destination to be reached. Learning to create that magical connection is the most important skill and the one which will make your rope scenes special. end up becoming detached and merely 'wrap parcels'. one of you leads and the other follows. I have found that when thinking of binding people not parcels. I might whisper in their ear where between 'soft and sensual' to 'hard and nasty' their preferences lie. with this type of interaction. If you cannot transport your partner to Cloud-9 with a little rope. I try to get an idea of what will push their buttons and discover from which perspective they approach bondage.you're in very close contact with your partner. Usually. discussing rope and other technicalities at the expense of this. If I am tying somebody for the first time. when I encounter bratty subs who want to fight back a little or try to escape. They fail to make the emotional connection. or as a sensual experience? As with any for of BDSM or sexual activity. such as it being appropriate to a role play. Other times. adding more rope. without passion. the dance could be millimetre perfect but. Japanese photographer and kinbakushi Araki sums it all up perfectly when he tells his models "I'm binding your heart.tying. I find that too often people become distracted by learning elaborate knots. or replicate a specific tie exactly. It should be a conscious process receiving the same degree of attention as the tying. I have found a wide variety of ways to avoid 'wrapping parcels' over the years.

teachers and performers who passed away in 2005) was quoted as saying "I can usually find whether a girl has an M [submissive] side or not. The way they react to touch is also a good clue. Almost 30 years ago in the Japanese magazine “Venus” Akechi Denki (one of the greatest of modern shibari masters.my understanding is that in Japan. ties where the genitals are exposed and they are unable to hide or protect them can create shame. pull back and re-examine what messages might have been misinterpreted. Other positions can be largely practical. where the concept of shame is particularly intense culturally. Communication is another key.in which case. a bed or in a suitable pose for a particular activity. be it sex or play. this is not the easy stereotype it might seem. is called 'shuuchi-nawa'. Her comment was:" You two were really having fun. Others still will be frivolous affairs. one pays attention to feedback and builds on that feedback. I replied "If We're not having fun. sensual and loving bringing out the deepest connections. Whilst learning and observation can improve matters. who goes into ecstasy as the mere thought of being tied. I might want to secure somebody to a piece of dungeon furniture. offer their wrists to be tied and act submissively are more likely to be compliant. which can be seen in much of Yukimura Haruki's. For example. If I . and I find this almost invariably makes for a more rewarding session.” Just like in good sex. with a certain amount of teasing. what's the point?” During any scene. I recall the reaction of a Japanese bondage artist to watching me engaged in a scene that involved the latter. Perhaps I would like to enforce a concept of servility. However. even if I have played with them before. keep following the clues laid out. other times it will not. It is simply a question of improving the odds and. the game is played a little differently with safe-words being uncommon. the sub giving up all control to the rope top and it being a matter of honour not to back down during a scene. frustration. My most simple 'Litmus test' is to grab a good handful of hair and draw the head back. It certainly helps to be tying a true rope-slut. Sometimes everything will click intuitively. some of it will still come down to intuition and luck. breathing and the look in their eyes. When that feedback is positive. Others will be like doing battle. allowing me to decide on positions for tying. it will rest on the chemistry between the two of you. This style.ones that drop their eyes. ultimately. whether this is verbal or non-verbal. lack of enthusiasm is the only thing more infectious than enthusiasm. and when the feedback is negative. play fighting and ultimately satisfaction at having rendered them helpless. Passionate bondage is not an exact science. laughter. shuuchi= shyness. It cannot be achieved only by book or formal learning. The pose I tie someone in can have dramatic effects on the bottom psychologically. some Japanese girls exhibit an unique demeanour which delightfully combines this demureness with intensive submissiveness. allowing each scene the opportunity to be improved. I always try to be aware of the body language. When meeting. After all. Some sessions will be tender. one of the ways of finding out is by grabbing her hair and pulling her down slowly to the ground. Both sides spelling out what is working and what is not in a positive and constructive way can also be helpful to this end. weren't you?" to which. regardless of the skill of the rigger. Their reaction to this simple move speaks volumes. vulnerability (especially in the case of men unable to guard the testicles) or uneasiness. There is no magic formula that works every time. I am not the only one who has used a test like this. I can put my partner in a bowed or kneeling pose. Another tool to consider is positions. bashfulness and nawa=rope. embarrassment. In my experience. She was somewhat bemused as bondage in Japan always seems quite a serious affair. Playing on the sense of embarrassment seems to be a key element in the Japanese approach.

Start by creating a positive reaction. people are aware of these feelings. a guarding hand and lifting bindings to create room to pull through can avoid this. I believe that one should take control immediately and assertively when tying. but more importantly. In order to assert dominance. 'wet-fish' variety or a strong opening in dance. Even for the most sensuous scene. Adding a blindfold to the equation can also be an extremely potent tool for enforcing an emotion through the way they are tied. This fact was known to the originators of Japanese bondage who used stress positions in torture. maintaining this is vital and I feel that I am relinquishing control and losing connection if I relax this tension. you need to make sure that they cannot actually fall by securing the bondage to a suspension point. A little attention. just as I do with my hands. makes a powerful statement and creates a clear beginning. it is easy to lose the mood by causing rope burn by pulling badly routed rope too fast. Most impressions are made in the first 30 seconds. whereas the . I have discovered many nuances. or even neutral. or by some other method. such as putting a leg into a stressful position then connecting that line to a nipple clamp or hair bondage. To me. It is well worth mastering the technique of achieving this step slickly and quickly. It unequivocally says "I mean business". one should never underestimate the effect of time. Predicament ties. This mindset is probably the most important in avoiding 'wrapping parcels'. can a deliciously sadistic element. this might be a gentle or strong tension. which can create a constant battle within themselves that some bottoms find quite disturbing. An opening move I love is when I have a hank of rope stored in a half-bow and. one. compared to the limp. In both instances. I am constantly aware of what the whole rope is doing. and I believe this applies to bondage as well. I like to be purposeful in my handling and mindful of the routing of the rope in order to maximize the erotic potential. If you are fumbling this initial tie or spending ages trying to untangle a rat's nest of rope. I can look into my sub's eyes and snap the hank undone. I like to think of the rope as an extension of my hands. tempo is also important. I usually keep some tension on the rope at all times. The order of restraint is also significant for me. By being in control of the rope. It is an important psychological moment and one that has more significance than meekly offered wrists or patiently waiting for them to be tied while other bondage is completed. It is the equivalent to a firm handshake. This gives the message straight away that I am in control and clearly indicates that the session has begun. The first is the degree of firmness used to apply the rope. My movements can be almost dream-like in a soft and sensual scene. you can easily lose the moment and are unlikely to give the impression of a competent rope top. punishment and interrogation long before they became a tool for eroticism. The former example would usually be slow paced. However. Simple details such as being able to smoothly flick out a coil of rope without tangles can make a huge difference. taking an end in either hand. yet they might be more abrupt and forceful if dominance and control is the objective. not a negative. Not only does this prevent the wraps slipping. Depending on the sensation I wish to create. which can lead to moments of extreme submission for even the most hardy and recalcitrant. In terms of application. especially those flailing loose ends. both in terms of providing sensuality and avoiding unintentional discomfort. Obviously. A further factor is the degree of decisiveness. I can destabilize them by lifting one leg off the ground. If one is not on top of this. it focuses the sub's attention on the deliberateness of the binding and how liberty is slowly being removed. pinching the skin or allowing the end to whip up into the face.want to push them into a sense of imbalance or fear. I like to begin by grasping the wrists to move them into position and maintaining a grip until the first wrap secures them. Unlike parcels.

Parcels don't care. whilst nicely accentuating the action. how you choose to use physical contact will influence the mood. The magic length is equivalent to four times the span of one's outstretched arms. wrapping slowly. Consider also that you cannot successfully tango at arms length. It is when my mind is freed in this way that the activity becomes almost meditative and the sense of 'oneness' is most apparent. Subconsciously I will often fall into step with whatever music is playing. I am not of the school of poker-faced Japanese rope-masters with their ubiquitous dark glasses. Body contact makes the whole experience intimate. Once my mind became free of having to “think” about what I was doing. the real secret is practicing until your brain is hardly aware of what you are doing and your muscles have learned the process of tying. It looks savage. His hand remembers what his mind no longer needs to be conscious of. holding them close. it can even be teasingly withdrawn. again adding punctuation to one's actions. as in dance. This might be by upping the tempo and/or gradually increasing the tension of the bindings or degree of restriction. I might employ varying tempos during the process. whilst providing a contrast between the feel of the two actions. This allows the rope to be pulled through in a single movement. Smoothness is far easier to achieve with the right length of rope. seductive or dominant. assuming it is used doubled in kinbaku style. one of the world's top kinbakushi. I began to tie intuitively. let alone answer somebody's question about what I thought of the DJ. I prefer to draw on a wider range of emotions and share those with my partner. but is deceptively soft. Bondage can thus be one of the more physically contact intensive areas of SM. As with any erotic process I engage in. all distraction drops away and I have frequently been unable to even say what music was playing. but for many people. I usually try to create an uninterrupted flow. it appears rope is usually a serious business for them. yet completing tie-offs rapidly. However. A perfect example of this muscle memory is the way if you ask the driver of a stick shift where reverse is. I use both of these tricks frequently now as I feel they emphasize the act of tying and process of restriction. one's whole demeanour should be appropriate.which is the more significant tends to depend upon whether it is a performance or private play. yet he will 'pull the punch' by deliberately relaxing to complete the move. Even in a busy and noisy club. rather than a clumsy hand over hand like a sailor hauling up an anchor. which is the more tactile element. Osada Steve. It can be soft or aggressive. whilst you slowly wind rope around their body. With practice. it can become an uninterrupted process without indecisive moments to break the hypnotic effect.latter might be faster. You are not distanced in the same way that you might be by a whip or flogger. He will move quickly and decisively to apply a body wrap. uses an interesting combination of techniques. I suspect the image of the inscrutable. but the mood of the scene will also be a big influence. which appear to hide the last vestiges of emotion. How much more powerful is this when combined with a physical embrace? Again. the turn on is the embrace of the rope. There is a massive difference between standing two feet away to tie and sitting with your partner between your thighs and reaching around. carried along on the flow of the scene and not being distracted by the practical aspects. I attempt to build incrementally to a crescendo. This places more emphasis on the wrapping. and reduces the time spent on the less tactile tie-offs. Another technique he taught me was to tug knots and turns. apparently emotionless dominant is a favourite role. he will probably mimic the motion with the gear shift hand before answering. Choosing the demeanour that matches your . A complimentary component is the degree of smoothness. As an integral part of this. However. Nothing else exists beyond the here and now. From my perspective. for example.

simply 'gift wrapping' might be the name of the game for a photo shoot but I am discussing real bondage scenes. If you cannot transport your partner to Cloud-9 with a little rope. Admittedly. This is not to say that I don't enjoy the aesthetics. learning exotic technical skills or suspension will never make them fly. If the untying is rushed. adding more rope. more fulfilling. where there is some tying and re-tying. Unless there is a good reason.intention is of great importance. Good bondage is not just about creating a work of art and then sitting back to admire your handiwork. it can be as unerotic as having bedding suddenly ripped away on a cold morning. It should become a medium of exchange and communication. My interpretation of bondage is not simply 'a means of restraint'. I find a more dynamic and interactive scene. Learning to create that magical connection is the most important skill and the one which will make your rope scenes special. removing rope should be a leisurely business to ensure a smooth landing from sub-space. passion. The key to this is to understand your partner's needs and meet them through a combination of physical contact. Japanese photographer and kinbakushi Araki sums it all up perfectly when he tells his models "I'm binding your heart. such as it being appropriate to a role play. I have found that when thinking of binding people not parcels. A common mistake is to think a scene is over once a particular tie has been created and to forget that untying can be just as erotic as tying. part of the joy of good rope work is the way it can enhance the beauty of the person I am tying. some simple ties and a lot of feeling. . It should be a conscious process receiving the same degree of attention as the tying. not your body". above all. mindful rope handling and.