How To KILL A

How To KILL A

LION

, COMPANIES FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING METHODS:

Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do. give him gobi 65 to eat again and again. hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit give them same gobi 65 to eat hire 200 more....... and more .......

TCS method:
hire a lion give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary lion dies of hunger and frustration

Accenture Method:
Hire a lion.... Send him to chennai Ask him to stay on bench for a long time Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl

assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.other than TAMIL. IBM's metbod: hire a lion.... And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger"... Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion..... give him a pink slip in an hour ... MBT method: hire the lion. Syntel Method:Hire a Cat . he dies of unemployment. make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job. No good food.. Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion.. lion dies of the strain? i-Flex method: .... No water.

. tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion) holy cow dies in fear of the real lion COSL Method: hire a lion .purchase a lion(COSL) .. Polaris Method : hire . Capgemini method: hire a lion..oops cow. the lion dies before joining.... tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance. .change it to 8:30 AM ) cut down his allowance (coupons etc) lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.hire a lion???. change his timings..... tell him he is a lion.... give him a salary of a cat. send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories..... lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat.sorry..(instead of 9 AM ......

.. he will die recieving stupid mails all day.. No time for food and family.. He gets frustrated and dies slowly … .. give him a salary of a Lion. give him a mail Id.!!!! HUAWEI Method: Hire a Cat... Give him work of 3 Lions Tell him to work late and even on weekends.....Wipro Method: Hire a Lion... automatically die PATNI Method: After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as … … Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment Tell him to work late and even on weekends.

...........................................................................................................THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST INFOSYS METHOD: HIRE A LION..................LION TURNS INTO CAT MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM ............... SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE .........................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG ................. :-) :-) :-) ........MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE ...................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!! SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS ......................................KING OF THE JUNGLE!  MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM ..

This is how software engineers die in India. .

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