)Y( Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev.

04/18/90 04/25/90 04/26/90 05/08/90 05/10/90 05/18/90 05/25/90 06/11/90 06/12/90 07/09/90 07/12/90 07/19/90 (Cherry) (Tan) (White) (Pink) (Blue) (Yellow) (Green) (Gold) (Buff) (Salmon) (Cherry) (Tan)

BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES

Screenplay by Michael Cristofer

Based on the book by Tom Wolfe

THIRD DRAFT WARNER BROS. INC. 4000 Warner Boulevard Burbank, California 91522 April 2, 1990 © 1990 WARNER BROS. INC. All Rights Reserved

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Rev. 5/25/90 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES FADE IN:

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EXT. MANHATTAN SKYLINE - NIGHT MOVING IN FAST MOTION -- a kaleidoscopic jewel box -glittering, shining and speeding PAST our eyes.

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ANGLE MOVING south TO north FROM the Battery and the World Trade Center, streets and buildings FLIPPING PAST like black diamonds spilling INTO our peripheral vision and DISAPPEARING as we SPEED uptown TOWARD...

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FIFTH AVENUE - NIGHT Cars and people caught in the same frantic ballet of shining lights as we RACE UP the avenue, and the voice of Peter Fallow speaks to us... PETER (V.O.) Yes. We're getting closer. Can you feel it. Can you see it? The heat. The brilliance. Moving fast into the heart of it. Buzz. Buzz. Can you feel the buzz? The city is pulling you in. The city of light. The city of diabolical promise. The city of answered prayers.

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4 thru 11 A11A

OMITTED

4 thru 11 A11A

EXT. STREET - LIMOUSINE - NIGHT pulls up to the World Financial Center and drives into the lower garage.

A11B

INT. LOADING AREA - LIMOUSINE - NIGHT pulls up. A male and female aide -- both carrying walkie-talkies -- rush to open the door. They pry PETER FALLOW from the back seat. He is wearing a tuxedo and dark glasses. He is very drunk, disheveled and cheerful beyond his means. CONTINUE IN ONE SHOT as... TWO AIDES

A11B

try to lead Fallow into the building. Fallow is clutching a whiskey decanter and a seltzer bottle. He leans heavily on the aides, stumbles and can barely stay on his feet. (CONTINUED)

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BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES - Rev. 5/25/90 CONTINUED: MINI CART

2. A11B

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approaches. The aides flag it down and throw Fallow onto the cart. The cart carries him past the garbage container into a long tunnel-like corridor. FALLOW sways on the cart, trying to mix a drink for himself -he pulls a glass out of one pocket and some ice cubes out of another pocket. But he is physically incompetent. FEMALE AIDE jumps onto the cart and tries to hold him up. aide runs alongside the cart. VARIOUS WAITERS in black tie carry covered silver trays as they trot through the tunnel. VARIOUS BUSBOYS come running in the other way, pushing carts filled with dirty dishes and glasses. CART comes to the end of the tunnel and jerks to a halt. Fallow loses his balance and sprays the female aide with soda water. MALE AIDE pulls Fallow off the cart and continues to lead him through a dark, red-lit area. Several security guards run to meet them. The guards and the aide now escort Fallow through the area. A FEW PHOTOGRAPHERS pop out of nowhere, trying to get a picture. The guards push them away and lead Fallow into a lighted corridor. FOREIGN DIPLOMAT and his wife and daughter join the entourage as they head for an elevator. The diplomat offers Fallow a pen and a book to autograph. Fallow misses the pen and falls face down into the breasts of the diplomat's daughter. The guards pull him into the elevator. (CONTINUED) The male

EVENING THROUGH the skylight we can see Sherman McCoy on his hands and knees on the green marble foyer of this lavish apartment chasing the family dachshund. Several other aides approach him and pull off his soiled jacket and shirt and change them for fresh ones as they move. SOME BROADWAY AUTOGRAPH HOUNDS rush Fallow.. WINTERGARDEN A ten story glass atrium. Fallow is led out of the elevator. ELEVATOR DOORS open.O.Rev. SHERMAN Come on.SKYLIGHT . only a few months ago.)T( A11B BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . The aide pulls him up and tries to clean him off. Stay. snapping pictures with little Instamatics and trying to get an autograph.. Come on. A sixtyfoot banner with Fallow's name on it. PETER (V. Wild applause. (CONTINUED) 12 11A . Marshall. A black tie party. Stay. Fallow staggers. clutching his head DISSOLVE TO: 11A EXT. Sherman smacks his perfect WASP knee on the perfect marble floor. McCOY APARTMENT ... Fallow falls into the mousse. FALLOW is led through the corridor and into.SHERMAN . APARTMENT . A11B * is in the elevator -.a tray of salmon mousse in the shape of a three-foot salmon. 5/25/90 CONTINUED: CART OF FOOD (2) 3.. and we.. PARK AVE. Come here.) . The elevator starts to move. trying to attach a leash. And it begins on a rainy night...EVENING The dog escapes. 12 INT. WALL OF FLASHING CAMERAS obliterate the view. But before Fallow can get his bearings.

JUDY McCOY standing over Sherman. who continues to struggle with the dog. Sherman McCoy. was about to make a simple phone call.) What on earth are you doing? 3A. this was a phone call he could not make at home.Rev. And despite the existence of eleven telephones and seven different lines in the fourteen rooms of his six million dollar plus apartment.S.)T( 12 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . 12 13 ANGLE . 5/25/90 CONTINUED: PETER (V.O. JUDY (O. (CONTINUED) 13 .) Our hero.

LOBBY . He stands up. JUDY You are not taking the dog for a walk. The DOG GROWLS and snaps at Sherman. 13 * Sherman gets the leash fastened. it's raining. He is one of our family. Do you. Mr. Judy flicks a tiny plastic bag out of a cleverly-concealed container and hands it to Sherman. JUDY So does Marshall.SHERMAN . trying desperately to avoid this walk. Bill. SHERMAN Neither am I.Rev. anyway. McCoy. Alright.NIGHT pulls Marshall out of the elevator. Marshall has a name. DOORMAN He don't look too happy about it.. JUDY Alright. 14 & 15 15A OMITTED 14 & 15 15A INT.. (CONTINUED) . You are taking 'Marshall' for a walk. pulls on a rubberized British riding mac.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . JUDY Have a nice time. 4. 4/18/90 13 CONTINUED: SHERMAN I am taking the dog for a walk. MARSHALL SQUEALS and drags his nails across the lobby. McCOY APARTMENT BUILDING . SHERMAN I know that. And. I don't think he wants to go. Marshall? SHERMAN Judy.

Come on.5. APT.. 16 ANGLE . SHERMAN Good evening. He doesn't approve. Marshall. He looks at Sherman.PHONE BOOTH Sherman drags Marshall to the phone. (CONTINUED) 16 . 15B EXT. you old phrase-maker. of course.SHERMAN . BUILDING . Sherman's clothes and Sherman's dog. sir. I did notice. And furthermore.. is that the best you can do? Is that as witty as we get? As Pollard enters the building and Sherman drags Marshall away.. POLLARD You know it's raining. SHERMAN Pollard.. 15A CONTINUED: Tony. don't you? SHERMAN Yes. POLLARD Hello. As they pass each other under the awning. POLLARD Ah. POLLARD I don't know what you're talking about. 15A * SHERMAN Yes. POLLARD I beg your pardon. I suggest you take the service elevator. Pollard. DOORMAN My name is Tony. SHERMAN I mean. Sherman.NIGHT 15B is dragging Marshall out of the building as a limo pulls up and the immaculately-dressed POLLARD BROWNING gets out. A true friend to man's best friend. As a matter of fact. if you plan on being wet when you return. Sherman.

JUDY Sherman. SHERMAN May I speak to Maria? WOMAN (V.JUDY .O.SHERMAN . 18 17 SHERMAN Hello.NIGHT is on the phone.) SHERMAN . is that you? 18 EXT. Jesus! 19 INT. 20 19 He freezes. PHONE BOOTH .) Sherman? Sherman is about to say "yes" when he catches himself. Sorry. CUT TO: 17 INT.NIGHT is dragging Marshal back into the building. then. then puts it down.NIGHT looks at the phone. 16 CONTINUED: They are both already soaking wet. Sherman dials a number.) Who is this? SHERMAN Maria? Brief pause. WOMAN (V.6.O.O.SHERMAN . McCOY APARTMENT .) (on phone) Hello? Maria! Who? Oh. A woman 16 WOMAN (V.JUDY . answers...O. It's me. APARTMENT BUILDING . CUT TO: 20 EXT. McCOY APARTMENT . Then he hangs up.NIGHT realizes what he's done. WOMAN (V.

JUDY . you were right.S. 21 INT. we're back! 22 ANGLE . If I what? SHERMAN Whatever do you mean? * * 22 She can 21 JUDY Please don't lie. You're going to stand there and tell me you didn't call here and ask to speak to some Maria? SHERMAN Who? (CONTINUED) * * * * * . Have I missed something? JUDY Darling. pedaling furiously. hear Sherman coming into the apartment. I got soaking wet and Marshall didn't do anything. grabs a towel.DOG comes scampering into the bedroom followed by Sherman.NIGHT is on her exercise bike. the only thing you're missing is common sense. JUDY Sherman.7. are we talking about? What JUDY You should see your face. if you want to talk to somebody named Maria. SHERMAN About what? Wait a minute.) Well. SHERMAN I'm sorry. McCOY BEDROOM . SHERMAN Well. SHERMAN (O. It makes your forehead crinkle. why do you call me instead? Sherman pokes his head into the room. It's a veritable roadmap of tension and deceit. but I don't get it. He heads for the bathroom.

JUDY 'Negative proposition'?! Oh. She is seven years old.I mean I hardly know what to say. Christ. I really don't care. Sherman... Listen to the stress. crinkle.) She was right.. DISSOLVE TO: 23 INT. 23 .O. He looks at * 22 * * * * * PETER (V. of course. You're asking me to prove a negative proposition. McCOY APARTMENT . and you are dripping on the Aubusson carpet.. You are cheap and rotten and a liar. the phone. She goes. I was not on the telephone.DAY is running through the apartment toward the front door. I don't deserve this.CAMPBELL McCOY . And Sherman knew it. Sherman collapses in a chair. How could he have been so stupid? A simple phone call. I am thin. SHERMAN I'm not lying. She gets off the bike.8. Why don't you just call her from here? I don't care. God. Listen to the way I sound. crinkle. I took Marshal for a walk. grabs a robe and heads for the door. JUDY There's the phone. I don't. 22 CONTINUED: JUDY You think I don't know your voice? SHERMAN Judy. SHERMAN Judy. Can you hear it? I don't want to be this person. JUDY Crinkle. I was out walking the dog. I am beautiful. and I come back in here and wham -.

Are we ready? CAMPBELL I'm out of here. But was it really his fault.like his surroundings -is impeccably designed and dressed... JUDY She won't kiss me because I'm all wet.) The next morning. (CONTINUED) 25 SHERMAN Where's your mother? JUDY (O. Alright.) On the lifecycle again. And a liar. Campbell opens the door and rings for the elevator. Judy's words were still ringing in his ears. sweating and still crying. hadn't she? He intercepts Campbell at the foot of the stairs. Campbell kisses Judy.9. we can see that Sherman McCoy -.S. You could see lamplight through their bones. honey. SHERMAN Campbell.O. In this view. kiss your mother.SHERMAN 24 descending the five-foot wide walnut staircase that leads from the second floor to the marble foyer. You see? Like all those other women she spends so much time with. so pale. She looks like she's spent a sleepless night. So drawn. In a way she had brought it on herself. PETER (V. 25 ANGLE . Rotten. Slow down.O. PETER (V. dressed in exercise clothes. Cheap.) . Campbell! CAMPBELL She's crying on the lifecycle.JUDY approaches them looking pale and thin and drawn. 24 ANGLE . SHERMAN Campbell. As Sherman picks up his briefcase and a copy of the newspaper.

Mr. Sports-trained to death.. DOORMAN My name is Bill. PETER (V. Sherman is distracted by.. firmer and excruciatingly wrapped in a pair of yellow shorts that are screaming for attention.SHERMAN AND CAMPBELL . Bill.ANOTHER REAR END Fuller. PETER (V.. Bill. sir.. APARTMENT BUILDING . these . they look like X-ray pictures.10. 27 Sherman 26 25 SHERMAN Yes. 28 .DAY come out of the building. of course.O. 28 HIS POV .? But Judy walks away without speaking to him..) He was still a young man. SHERMAN 'Morning. CAMPBELL Hi.) Dragging themselves to their sports training classes. say hello to Tony. Campbell. DOORMAN 'Morning. 25 CONTINUED: SHERMAN Judy.. And she was turning into one of them! 27 EXT. they keep themselves so thin. social X-rays. 26 HIS POV . DOORMAN 'Morning.O. watches her. He deserved more than these. Campbell..JUDY'S REAR END looking pretty unappetizing in her soggy sweatpants. in the season of the rising sap.. McCoy. Tony.

collects three dollars and moves on to the next.O. If you can't see what the hell we're talking about.DAY walks into the chaos and moves through the din. then I can't help you. 28A * PETER (V. The bus pulls away. YOUNG MAN I said pick up the fucking phone. I'm asking you to pick up the fucking phone. ANOTHER MAN If you can't see the goddamn screen. nobody registers his presence. then what are we talking about?! THIRD MAN Well. I'm asking nice. CUT TO: 29 thru 31 32 OMITTED 29 thru 31 32 INT..) FOURTH MAN Bid eight and a half. 28A ANGLE . a smile of pleasure and anticipation on his lips. (Except for giving him the money. And the banks are calling it 73. please. We catch bits of conversation. Why are they pissing on us like that? (CONTINUED) 33 . And then I want you to work hard on this. He deserved better.BLACK SHOESHINE MAN finishes one man's shoes.11.SHERMAN puts Campbell on a school bus.. do they forfeit or no? FIFTH MAN This Goldman order really fucked things up. see what's happening with the escrow. BOND TRADING ROOM . then why do you think everybody's stripping the twenty years?! 33 ANGLE .SHERMAN .) Sherman was a master of the universe.

33 34 ANGLE . Let's go! Let's go! 34 * SHERMAN Calm down. Rawlie. be made of ice. SHERMAN Calm. TAPED VOICE (V. He dials a number. Let me say this again so we're clear. This is 555-8771. Leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as is humanly possible. You must (CONTINUED) . I don't want the chicken rice. do it. Let's not get over-excited.O. Let's not lose our composure over a few hundred million dollars. RAWLIE Jesus Christ.SHERMAN approaches his own desk. where are you? I've been trying to reach you for days. RAWLIE Sorry. look. do it! 12. Sherman. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: SIXTH MAN Look. Please call me at the office. RAWLIE Gene's on from London. Sherman. his own telephone.Rev.) (on phone) Hi.)O( 33 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . his own computer terminals. You got all this downside protection if the Jap market rallies. Cool. look. Yes. SHERMAN Maria. RAWLIE THORPE comes running up to Sherman. I want the turkey rice! SEVENTH MAN I'm telling you somebody's painting you a fucking picture! Can't you see that?! I'm telling you to swap them. I have to speak to you. Colated. I want the turkey rice soup. Just do it.

4/18/90 34 CONTINUED: SHERMAN Just remember. Rawlie. On top of this museum piece. Rawlie. Gene.) (on speaker) Jesus.DAY 13. Sherman? SHERMAN I need six hundred million to buy up the bonds.) But what the hell is this crazy Giscard deal going to cost us. GENE (V. Gene. CONFERENCE ROOM . 34 * 35 Sherman and several men are seated at attention facing an Adam bowfront cabinet. RAWLIE Where are you.. though. Rawlie. GENE (V. a black plastic SPEAKER over which the voice of Gene Lopwitz is addressing his inferiors.Rev. You want us to sit on six hundred million dollars worth of French government bonds?! SHERMAN I'm confident on this.O. Bunch of nice young men in white flannel pants.O.) Tottenham Park.. It's A THROTTLED ROAR comes out of the SPEAKER. At a cricket match. A dead one. Gene? GENE (V. A frantic salesman is a dead one. Somebody's just hit the hell out of the ball. a real sleeping beauty. RAWLIE Who's playing? GENE (V. The ball's kind of dead.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .O. SHERMAN What do you say.O. or out? Are we in (CONTINUED) . 35 INT. The cabinet is richly painted with scenes of bucolic splendor and ornate borders.) Don't get technical on me.

Is it over? The game's over.. 5/10/90 CONTINUED: GENE (V. Gene? (CONTINUED) .O. Well. SHERMAN Bernard Sachs is already in for three hundred million. you're going to make me an old man. I guess.O. It's over.) (on speaker) Gold has to hold steady.O. GENE (V.. Gene. SHERMAN A rich old man.)P( 35 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Does that make you feel better? GENE (V.) (on speaker) What was that? Oh. A rich old 14. Eh.) (on speaker) Sherman. That's that. man.Rev. And if the franc starts to drop. SHERMAN I guess you had to be there. 35 * Another ROAR of the CROWD comes over the SPEAKERS.

beautiful.NIGHT The sky is a labyrinth of planes taking off and landing. untouchable. 36 ANGLE .SHERMAN moving toward Maria.SHERMAN moving through the bond trading room to his desk. 36A ANGLE . The sound of educated young white men baying for money on the bond market. PETER (V.NIGHT comes out of the customs area into the lobby.O. followed by a porter and a trolley full of luggage. All in a day's work. SHERMAN At ease. 38 INT. her lizard shoes. Six hundred million in his hands. insulated by wealth and power. At the top -impervious. The meeting breaks up. A great height from which to view the rest of the poor world.) (on speaker) What was that? 35 What? Sherman flips OFF the speaker. (CONTINUED) 39 38 37 36A * * * 36 * .FAX MACHINE SPITTING OUT the message: "Sherman. A great height from which to fall.15. The sweaty hordes of panting tourists all seem to part like the Red Sea as Maria passes through them.MARIA .O. Arriving New York on the Concorde tonight. 35 CONTINUED: (2) GENE (V. Maria. her miniskirt. gentlemen. ultra-chic in her bigshouldered electric blue Norma Kamali type jacket." 37 EXT. He was there. Music to his ears. One point seven million for Sherman. Best.young. They embrace clumsily. KENNEDY AIRPORT . Six million off the top for Pierce & Pierce. INTERNATIONAL ARRIVALS . 39 ANGLE .) The roar enveloped him. She is a vision -.

40 SHERMAN Please.NIGHT Maria is laughing. you are an absolute angel coming all the way out here. MARIA Well. Maria is laughing. MARIA That's what I said. SHERMAN I had to talk to you. MARIA Oh.. MERCEDES . Are we going to talk about it right now? Yes.NIGHT moving off the Van Wyck and onto the Grand Central Parkway. SHERMAN You mean red-handed. SHERMAN We have to. 16.SHERMAN AND MARIA .. 7/9/90 CONTINUED: MARIA Sherman. it's your own fault for getting caught like a red herring. 39 MARIA Don't you want a little poon tang first? Maria. dear. MERCEDES . I did the most stupid thing last night. MARIA Tell mama all about it. This is important. Couldn't we just forget about your wife and go on over to our little hideaway on 59th Street and hide away a little? (CONTINUED) 41 * * * * * * * * * .Rev. 41 INT.)W( 39 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Alright. She is fiddling with the back of Sherman's neck and chewing on his ear while her other hand is in his crotch. 40 EXT. SHERMAN I know it has its funny side but it isn't funny.

46 47 * * 45 * * . We'll have to exit and get back on. SHERMAN (O. 46 47 OMITTED EXT. 42 43 44 OMITTED THEIR POV . honey. if I could get this zipper down.) I'm sure that's the turnoff to Manhattan. piled at one side with car tires -.totally bleak.)W( 41 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .NIGHT veers onto ramp and heads toward the 138th St. MARIA (O.S. MERCEDES .NIGHT is suddenly off the expressway and driving at ground level -. Sherman. of course she knows. 41 * 42 HIS POV .) Well. I could eat you alive. MARIA Well. 7/9/90 CONTINUED: SHERMAN I think she knows.S. several full lanes away. You are so sweet. Sherman.SIGN reading "Manhattan" way off to the right. MERCEDES .Rev. exit.a dark street.MORE SIGNS "EAST BRONX NEW ENGLAND" and "EAST 138TH BRUCKNER BLVD." 43 44 * * 45 EXT. aren't we supposed to turn there? SHERMAN Where? That's 17. not the point. I can't get over there now. SHERMAN It isn't? MARIA Oh.

A 50 . MERCEDES . MUSIC. 18. MERCEDES . All I need to do is make a left and go west and find a street back to Manhattan.Rev.NIGHT MARIA Sherman. 7/9/90 INT. * 48 * 49 EXT. 49 50 ANGLE . boulevard of dizzy sounds and sights. MARIA What does that mean? SHERMAN It means we're going north. cars.)W( 48 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . where are we? SHERMAN We're in the Bronx.. colors.NIGHT makes a right out of the traffic and suddenly.STREET LIFE surrounds the car -.people..SHERMAN AND MARIA .

screaming.SHERMAN AND MARIA . MERCEDES . 54 PROSTITUTE 54 leans on the hood of the car. 56 ANGLE . I'm from the South and I'm beginning not to like this very much. LATIN MAN.MARIA AND SHERMAN MARIA Sherman. get us out of here. 53 ANOTHER ANGLE Christ. SHERMAN Excuse me.NIGHT As it stops for a red light. MARIA Sherman? SHERMAN Yes. he elbows her in the stomach.SHERMAN leans out the window. 53 52 51 MARIA Sherman. 51 INT. 52 THEIR POV . Maria. stands up and continues her pursuit of the pimp. 55 ANGLE .19.PIMP is being pursued by a prostitute. moving in slow motion. is she? SHERMAN She's not touching the car. A YOUNG 56 * 55 (CONTINUED) . SHERMAN I have a red light. please don't touch the car. A face appears at the window next to Maria. She falls to her knees right in front of the Mercedes. She is stoned. MARIA Where are all the white people? A LOUD SCREAM. He laughs. She grabs him from behind.

Sherman. Look! There! 59 EXT. Just drive.NIGHT SHERMAN Look. we'll be perfectly fine. a ramp leading up to the expressway.SHERMAN AND MARIA . Maria sees something in the road ahead of them.NIGHT leaps across the intersection and continues down the boulevard." And just beyond the sign. MARIA That's what you think. The car jerks into motion. I have all my luggage with me.NIGHT As Sherman pulls toward the ramp. SHERMAN I just don't want to do anything stupid. MERCEDES . (CONTINUED) 60 59 58 57 .ANGLE THROUGH WINDSHIELD . hitting Sherman in the back of his neck. 56 CONTINUED: Hey. 57 EXT. At the same time. BRIDGE.SIGN reads "895 EAST GEO. Another pothole jolts the car. there's no need to panic. baby.S.20. MERCEDES .) There! George Washington Bridge. WASH. We're in the middle of a goddamn war zone and you're worried about doing the right thing.SHERMAN AND MARIA . STREET . MARIA (O. YOUNG MAN We having a party? 56 Maria leans toward Sherman and presses her foot down on the accelerator. SHERMAN Maria! MARIA Drive. Maria's luggage flies forward. you see it?! 60 INT. MERCEDES . MARIA Christ. 58 INT. If we keep our heads.

21. 60 CONTINUED: Sherman! MARIA What's that?! The CAR stalls and comes to a MARIA It's a body. SHERMAN It looks like... MARIA It's an animal. SHERMAN I think it's a... MARIA Is it dead? SHERMAN It's a wheel, that's all. a tire. MARIA It's a dead tire! SHERMAN Calm down, Maria. Please. It's a tire and some ash cans or something. Sherman starts to get out of the car. MARIA What are you doing?! SHERMAN Well, I can't drive around it, can I? MARIA You're going to move it? SHERMAN Yes. That's exactly what I'm going to do. MARIA For God's sake, be careful of your shoes. 61 EXT. MERCEDES - SHERMAN - NIGHT gets out of the car. (CONTINUED) 61 It's 60

Sherman hits the brake. SCREECHING halt.

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He leaves the door open. Above him, the tremendous CLANGING noise of CARS POUNDING along the expressway. But he can't see them. He can only hear them and feel their vibration. He stands there a moment, taking in the strangeness of the place and of his own situation -- the tire, Maria, his wife, his life. A little chill of loneliness hits him. He shakes it off and walks to the tire -- a simple, inevitable move toward a destiny he could never have imagined. 62 ANGLE - TIRE as Sherman approaches. He tries to pick it up without getting his suit messed up. Suddenly... MARIA (O.S.) Sherman! He turns, tire in his hands and sees... 63 HIS POV - TWO FIGURES walking toward him. One big, young, powerfully built (ROLAND AUBURN). He looks dangerous. The other slight, hesitant, a few steps behind the first one (HENRY LAMB). They are both black. Yo! 64 ROLAND Need some help? 64 The two 63 62

QUICK CUTS - SCENE Sherman is standing there holding the tire. young men are moving steadily toward him. ROLAND What happened, man? You need some help? SHERMAN No thanks. Hi. No, I don't think so. No. Thank you very much.

Sherman is confused. He doesn't move. Maria gets behind the wheel of the car. Roland reaches slowly into his jacket pocket. He smiles and keeps moving toward Sherman. Sherman sees the hand moving out of the jacket pocket. He is still frozen. Maria BLOWS the HORN. Sherman wakes up finally. Excuse me. SHERMAN I have to go. (CONTINUED)

23. 64 CONTINUED: 64

He starts to move toward the car, still carrying the tire. Roland steps in front of him. They both keep moving. ROLAND Where you going with that tire? SHERMAN Oh. Is this yours? Here. take it. You

Sherman pushes the tire toward Roland. Roland pushes it back at him. Sherman throws up his arms. The tire bounces off his arms and knocks Roland down. Oh. Sorry. mean to... 65 ANGLE - MARIA HONKS the HORN again and drives the car toward Sherman. 66 ANGLE - SHERMAN turns toward the car, and bumps into Henry. fall down. 67 ANGLE - ROLAND gets to his feet and moves toward the car. 68 ANGLE - MARIA opens the car door for Sherman. MARIA Sherman, get in this car. 69 ANGLE - SHERMAN 69 68 They both 67 66 SHERMAN I'm sorry, I didn't 65

jumps into the car, pulls the door shut and hits the lock mechanism just as... 70 ANGLE - ROLAND grabs the door handle on Maria's side. ahead. 71 ANGLE - CAR jerks into motion. But it is now sideways on the ramp and almost hits the guardrail. Maria SQUEALS 71 70

MARIA SQUEALS into first gear as the tire bounces off the windshield.24. SHERMAN There's. 76 HIS POV ." 81 80 Roland is run79 78 .. at the windshield. MERCEDES .. 78 HIS POV . a loud..SHERMAN AND MARIA moving too fast up the ramp toward the traffic on the expressway. The car 77 76 75 He throws it 74 73 72 But before he can say it.SHERMAN looks back at the flying tire and sees. Other cars swerve and BLOW their HORNS as the Mercedes forces its way into the flow of traffic heading toward Manhattan.NIGHT The car careens recklessly into the traffic. 81 ANGLE A sign above the traffic reading "Manhattan. Maria hits the brakes and then GUNS the gas. 77 ANGLE . 74 ANGLE .. 72 ANGLE . Be careful.ROLAND is charging toward the car with the tire. SHERMAN Look out! 73 ANGLE . ning after the car. 79 ANGLE .MARIA hits the brakes and puts the car into reverse. fishtails.MARIA AND SHERMAN Maria pulls the wheel hard to the right..HENRY moving around the rear end of the car.except that Henry is gone. 75 ANGLE .REAR OF CAR as before -. 80 EXT.THOK! Sherman looks back. dead sound -..

MARIA Neither did I. They would love to get their hands on us.25. The car pulls into a parking space.SHERMAN AND MARIA .' SHERMAN Meteorites? (CONTINUED) 83 . all that happened was.. The police and the press and all the rest of the 'mediarites. SHERMAN But if we called the police now. MARIA Yes. That's all we know.NIGHT climbing the stairs. Sherman and Maria get out.. two boys blocked the road and tried to rob us and we got away. MERCEDES . MARIA The police? SHERMAN I mean we were almost robbed and I think maybe it's possible you. 83 INT.. we hit one of them. BROWNSTONE ... They move toward a brownstone apartment building.. let's call them and invite them over here to our little love nest.NIGHT 82 * pulls off the Drive onto 59th Street. Did you hear it? Like we hit one of them. 82 EXT. They go into. MARIA Did you see him get hit? SHERMAN No. SHERMAN I wonder if we should report this to the police. There was this sound. There was this kind of.. So if the question ever comes up..

SHERMAN You have a point. MARIA (very sexy now) We were in the jungle. 83 CONTINUED: MARIA Yes. recuperating after their adventures in the Bronx -explain that to your wife. Sherman. getting over that gear shift.. Mr. We fought. you will support me in that decision. They look at each other. I can see it now.26.SHERMAN AND MARIA .. Sherman McCoy of Park Avenue and Mrs. radios. (CONTINUED) .NIGHT SHERMAN I'd just feel better if. SHERMAN We could have been MARIA I feel like an animal... 84 INT. televisions. we were attacked. MARIA You don't have to feel better.. Silence.. Arthur Ruskin of Fifth Avenue. Yes. Then Maria starts to unbutton her blouse. killed. MARIA The hard part was getting into the seat. They are both out of breath. I was the one who was driving.. Maria drops everything and turns on him. MARIA'S APARTMENT . 83 Maria unlocks the door and they go into. and I'm not reporting anything to the police! And if you are a gentleman. we fought our way out.. Newspapers. It's true. And I'm saying I didn't hit anybody... 84 SHERMAN You drove the hell out of that car.

84 SHERMAN It was instinct.a gigantic woman with the scales of justice in one hand and a bronze sword in the other. 85 INT. 27. SHERMAN He was big. his bony skull and beaked nose sticking out of his robes -. wasn't he? MARIA You were bigger.he looks like a buzzard perched for take-off..STATUE . They do. Don't think. You MARIA Don't think..) Mr. chin down.)J( 84 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . eyes blazing..Rev. SHERMAN I still think. Sonenberg!?! 86 ANGLE .JUDGE LEONARD WHITE . MARIA This could be the best sex we've had in a long time.. JUDGE WHITE Where is Mister Son-nenberg? 87 ANGLE .. 4/25/90 CONTINUED: She opens his shirt. were great.DAY 85 A thirty foot rendition of "blind justice" -.. Sherman. MARIA That tire. I don't know. SHERMAN We were both great. JUDGE WHITE (O. COURTROOM . Sherman.DAY is up on the bench leaning forward.S... Just fuck.COURTROOM in chaos -(CONTINUED) 87 * 86 * * . She is suddenly all over him.

LOCKWOOD I go to trial. LOCKWOOD Two weeks ago he told me two to six.. JUDGE WHITE Alright.. LOCKWOOD I'll go to trial.. Lockwood. 87 -. And if and when your lawyer deigns to favor us with his presence. Lockwood.JUDGE WHIT addresses the DEFENDANT... JUDGE WHITE Nobody wants to go to trial. And you are not going to be one of them. people talking..Rev. going in and out paying little attention to the Judge until. LOCKWOOD Two to six or we go to trial.including the kids. You're a nice boy. the assistant D. Mr.. We got 7. you son of a bitch. you sit down. Lockwood. JUDGE WHITE Listen. 4/25/90 CONTINUED: 28. Try to understand me. Judge.children running about as if they were in a day care center. JUDGE WHITE Where the hell is Mister Son-nen-berg!!! Everyone freezes -.A. He points at Ray Andriutti. clumps of people in the spectator section waiting their turn. you got a lot going for you. 88 ANGLE .. Mr. LOCKWOOD (DEFENDANT) Two to six. * * * * 88 * * . JUDGE WHITE Mr. you're young. And we got room for 650 trials.)J( 87 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES ...000 felony indictments in the Bronx every year.

Rev. JUDGE WHITE This case was dismissed three weeks ago. Now get out of my face.THE SCENE as the Clerk announces the next case. KRAMER (referring to Lockwood) What did he do? RAY He pulled a knife on a seventyyear-old lady. 5/8/90 ANGLE .KRAMER sits at the table next to Ray Andriutti. (CONTINUED) 92 * . 29. He takes off the Reeboks that he's wearing and puts the shoes on. Kramer takes a pair of black shoes out of a plastic bag. Which.JED KRAMER coming into the courtroom and moving toward Ray Andriutti.)R( 89 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .WHITE JUDGE WHITE You go sit down. KRAMER Jesus. 89 * 90 ANGLE . raped her and then shoved her in a garbage can. 91 92 ANGLE . Indictment number 294721. if this case ever did come to trial is exactly what you would get. that's what you go do! And when your asshole lawyer shows up. robbed her. CLERK People versus Harold Williams. RAY (laughs) Welcome to the South Bronx. you're gonna take whatever plea bargain we give you and you're gonna kiss my ass and thank me that I didn't put you away for twenty-five years. As they talk. 90 91 ANGLE .

I know Mr.. JUDGE WHITE Because this is an election year. Your Honor? JUDGE WHITE Who the hell are you? KRAMER Uh.. tiger. Weiss. Williams over there is a white man who lives in a nice big house in Riverdale. But they do vote.Rev... (MORE) 30. JUDGE WHITE What is this case doing here? KRAMER May I approach the bench. 92 * * * * * (CONTINUED) . Weiss. sir. the District Attorney. Weiss is interested in the case is because Mr.)J( 92 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Mr. loosely translated. that you have no evidence. 4/25/90 CONTINUED: RAY (to Kramer) Go get him. Let me explain something to you. KRAMER I don't follow. KRAMER Shit.. JUDGE WHITE I know who the district attorney is. This case is what we call a piece of shit. sir. Because ninety-nine percent of the people you shovel through here are black and the other ninety-nine percent don't even speak English. Mr.. KRAMER Your Honor. Which means. Assistant District. JUDGE WHITE You're new here. And the only reason Mr. Kramer. Kramer.

) Are you Andriutti? 93 * * 94 ANGLE TO INCLUDE DETECTIVES A. This is Detective Goldberg. Mr.J. KRAMER Thanks.what he needs is a white man.)P( 92 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .. Your Honor. You got a minute? (CONTINUED) 94 . the district attorney.who dreams every night that someday he is going to be mayor of New York City -. 5/10/90 CONTINUED: (2) JUDGE WHITE (CONT'D) So Mr.. The press likes it. the District Attorney -. 31. Kramer? KRAMER Yes. What? MARTIN I'm Martin. We just come from Lincoln Hospital.DAY come out of the courtroom. Weiss. and throw him in jail. your boss. Williams over there is not it.S.Rev. MARTIN AND STEWART GOLDBERG RAY Yeah. RAY (sarcastic) Don't take it personally. the voters like it. 92 93 INT. but Mr.KRAMER AND ANDRIUTTI . JUDGE WHITE So you go tell your boss. Captain Ahab Weiss that I know he's out there looking for the great white defendent. CORRIDOR . RAY Maybe he didn't like your shoes. He needs to find him. You follow me now. book him. Then he looks good to everybody. even your mother will like it. VOICE (O.

5/10/90 CONTINUED: RAY Yeah. A Mercedes. KRAMER You talked to him? No.Rev. GOLDBERG Hit and run. He goes into a coma and now they classify him likely to die. yeah. MARTIN No. She says the kid told his mother he was hit by a car. MARTIN He was already out. And the car left the scene.)P( 94 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . showed up at the hospital last night with a broken wrist. 32. too? (CONTINUED) * . MARTIN We got a kid named Henry Lamb. There's a nurse there busting my balls. 94 * * * * * * * * * * GOLDBERG He's in a coma. what do you got? They move down the corridor. KRAMER Oh. RAY So? MARTIN So this morning his mother brings him back. KRAMER The mother tell you this. RAY So? MARTIN So they fixed him up in the emergency room and they sent him home. he's got a concussion.

Rev. RAY So why are you coming to us? You got a victim who's unconscious. this is all yours. PULL BACK to include: tirade. Andruitti turns and goes. Mr. REV. Ain't that right. MARTIN What we got here is a problem. Kramer? Martin and Goldberg look at each other. Kramer. GOLDBERG You ever hear of Reverend Bacon? RAY Oh.CLOSE ON CHOIR OF BLACK WOMEN . no. CUT TO: 33. BACON'S CHURCH (HARLEM) . I'll see you gentlemen later. no driver -you got what we call here a piece of shit. Not me.)P( 94 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . 94 95 & 96 97 OMITTED 95 & 96 97 * * INT. 5/10/90 CONTINUED: (2) MARTIN The mother won't talk to us.DAY in the middle of a hymn. you got no witness. Rev. Bacon in the middle of a (CONTINUED) . She's got a shitload of parking tickets and she doesn't want to talk to the police.

I will speak for her. KRAMER Well. (CONTINUED) 98 * Kramer 97 ... KRAMER Oh.. Now what are we going to do about these parking tickets? PULL BACK to include Kramer.. graduating from high school. then... sorry. KRAMER Alright. KRAMER First of all.. ANNIE LAMB coming up the aisle behind them. BACON This is your evidence. and always will be.. I didn't see. Lamb is not speaking to the police. A clear case of hit-and-run. BACON Mrs. ready for college -. Let me see if I have this straight. is thrown..34. Martin and Goldberg. 97 CONTINUED: BACON This is a tragedy. church-going. minding his own business. Reverend . Until we have proper counsel.. first of all. never in trouble.some rich white people in a rich white man's car and wham! They run him down and never even stop. ma'am. Reverend.and somebody comes along -. Is it Reverend? BACON Is. A fine young man has been struck down... Godfearing. The boy was hit by a car. BACON On Bruckner Boulevard. uh.. was. we have no evidence of. 98 ANGLE TO INCLUDE MRS. Innocently walking along..

You may believe it and I may believe it. But we don't have a hell of a lot to go on.35. 98 CONTINUED: KRAMER No. you have no witness. BACON If this boy was born on Park Avenue and he was run down by two niggers in a Pontiac Firebird. Now we'll do everything we can for this lady. then you'd have a case! Wouldn't you?! MARTIN I work Park Avenue and I work Bruckner Boulevard. An investment in steam control. I'm sorry. Steam control. KRAMER That's hearsay. but it's not admissable in a court of law. my friend -how grateful you will be that I am on your side -. on judgment day. I want you to make an investment here. Because when it blows -. Reverend. Reverend.the one nigger who can control the steam and save your lily white ass from being burned off the face of the earth so to speak. But you see... KRAMER Steam control? BACON That's right. 98 BACON Now. There's good and bad in both places. there's no case of anything at all. Because a righteous steam is building up in the souls of my people and that steam is ready to blow. BACON You got what he told his mother. BACON Gentlemen. Without a witness. (CONTINUED) . I see. KRAMER Well. I am your safety valve.and it will.

Martin and Goldberg start to go.DAY of Sherman's Mercedes -. Mrs. SHERMAN We should move out here. Lamb goes to Kramer. talking. what if we moved out of New York? What do you think? JUDY About what? (CONTINUED) No one is 101 100 99 .SHERMAN is driving. Judy and Campbell are with him. Bacon puts his * * 98 BACON The next time you gentlemen hear from us. KRAMER Well.CAR approaching Southampton. 100 ANGLE . 99 EXT. Kramer.LICENSE PLATE . I mean. 98 CONTINUED: (2) KRAMER You think this car was driven by a white man. No response. Reverend. If that's any help to you. ROAD . it will be through our lawyer. huh? BACON I seldom think. I just plain know.. LAMB He said it started with an 'R. MRS. 101 INT. The second letter was an 'E' or a 'B' or maybe a 'P.' Those were the first two letters of the license plate.36. arm around Mrs. SHERMAN Have you ever thought. I'll see what I can do. CAR . Lamb.RPH 633. Then.' That was the first letter..

" Sherman is. searching through a newspaper for any news of the accident.PORCH . No.O. whose repeated lessons concerning duty. the lion of Dunning. debt and responsibility had whistled through his son's head. BEACH HOUSE .) She knew how to hurt a guy. PETER FALLOW (V.' Everyone laughs. They're the only ones who drink anymore. (CONTINUED) 102 101 * . asking repeatedly. His father. at the same time. who still believed in principals and ethics. SHERMAN My father did it. McCOY 'My older customers!' MR.. No. McCOY (MOTHER) . He was nothing like his father. Sponget and Leach. Sherman McCoy was nothing like his father. who took the subway to work every day of his life. And she said to me.. McCOY (FATHER) She thought you were twenty-five. His father. His father.37. MRS. "But what does he do? What does Daddy do?!" To which. 101 CONTINUED: SHERMAN Do you think we could leave New York? JUDY No. 'I like my older customers best of all.DAY Sherman and Judy are having drinks with Sherman's FATHER and MOTHER. 102 EXT. Campbell is tugging at Judy's sleeve. MRS. JDUY You are not your father. (to Judy) All of a sudden I'm married to a white ribbon. Judy replies. Over the following. "He sells bonds.

38. SHERMAN I. yes. Darling. you issue a bond. McCOY I think you're in over your head. CAMPBELL That's what he said.. Bonds. Daddy just handles the bonds for the people who raise the money. Now you didn't bake that cake. Your mother and I really want to hear this. just imagine that a bond is a slice of cake. CAMPBELL Do you build roads? SHERMAN No. MR. no. Sherman... See. SHERMAN A bond is a way of lending people money.. I don't actually build them. McCOY (delighted) Oh. McCOY Yes. MR.. JUDY Here. Daddy doesn't build roads or hospitals or anything. what are you looking for in that newspaper? Nothing. little crumbs fall off. Well. but every time you hand somebody a slice of that cake. JUDY Yes. uh. really. 102 CONTINUED: JUDY Sherman. nothing 102 CAMPBELL But what's a bond? MRS. (CONTINUED) . do explain it.. Sherman. special. Let's say you want to build a road or a hospital and you need a lot of money. More laughter. And you're allowed to keep those crumbs... Let me try. a little bit comes off.

. McCOY Now it's not about anything.. McCoy goes after Judy. MR. That's what Daddy does.. JUDY That's the best I can do. in my day. SHERMAN Yes.39. Mrs. SHERMAN Well. MR. 102 CONTINUED: (2) Crumbs? SHERMAN Really. SHERMAN We're having a little. 103 OMITTED 103 * . Well.. 102 MR. But you have to imagine a lot of crumbs. Then. And a great golden cake.. McCOY (pointedly) And many a man has sold his soul for those little crumbs. MR. And a lot of golden crumbs.. McCOY All the more reason not to play the game. He passes somebody else's cake around and picks up the crumbs.. And you have to imagine Daddy running around picking up every little golden crumb he can get his hands on. McCOY Of course.. It's nothing serious. SHERMAN I don't make the rules.. me. there was some integrity to it. JUDY (enjoying this) Yes.. Really. Excuse She gets up abruptly and leaves. Sherman and his father sit there without talking.. you can call them crumbs if you want to. And that's what Daddy does. is it? Except the money..

4/26/90 40. And a very pretty someone he is. the artist. PETER (V.drunk. Hadn't the faintest notion that soon his name would be inexorably tied to mine. 104A ANGLE . Come and CAROLINE You pig.) I had my own problems. PETER Caroline. I was blissfully ignorant. disheveled and probably unclean.)O( 104 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . PETER (V.O. out of shape. I'm with someone. have a drink with us. This is Peter Fallow. CAROLINE (introducing them) This is Filippo Chirazzi. LEICESTER'S RESTAURANT .O. And I simply had no idea that Sherman McCoy was the solution I was looking for. Peter intercepts them. She is older and not as pretty as he is. up to this point in our story. He looks bad -. Enchante. too. He is handsome and young. Peter steers them to a table filled with people.BARTENDER nudges Peter awake and puts three drinks into Peter's hands. carrying the drinks.CAROLINE HEFTSHANK AND FILIPPO CHIRAZZI 105 * enter the restaurant. That his fate would be inextricably bound to my own destiny. Never even heard of Sherman McCoy. Peter. You devil.) Of course.CLOSE ON PETER FALLOW NIGHT Peter's face is flat on the bar. the has-been. I had no idea of the storm that was gathering. Peter staggers away from the bar. PETER Yes. (MORE) (CONTINUED) . 104 INT.Rev. PETER We're a little crowded. 104A 105 ANGLE .

41. MOORE Good evening. you keep your hands to yourself. Billy. PETER How are you? EVELYN Lovely. Peter struggles to his feet. 106 Peter laughs and almost falls off his chair. Peter. MOORE (to Eveyln) This is one of my invisible employees. Please. Now. Peter sits in a chair and tries to pull Caroline into his lap. You're very fortunate to see him because I hardly ever do. The last time I sat on your face. don't get up. Evelyn. have a drink. don't you? Yes. You know my daughter. 106 105 ANGLE .GERALD MOORE standing over Peter. (CONTINUED) . Well. He tries to get up. I can explain. Hello. Filippo. They leave. I ended up with a yeast infection. MOORE No. PETER (shocked) Gerald. Caroline grabs Filippo. PETER Gerald. CAROLINE No thanks. you sit down on top of Billy and I'll see if I can get Caroline to sit down on my face. 105 CONTINUED: PETER (CONT'D) Why don't you squeeze in next to Billy Cortez. Peter. One of the many journalists who are supposed to be writing for my newspaper.

MOORE You know. when a turd appears.. But in my house. it's just a matter of.. PETER Incroyable! MOORE I've made a big investment in you. We don't put it on the table and call it caviar. I was at a dinner party last night. We dispose of it. Yes. it was here! . They march into the back room of the restaurant. Now I could just shake my head and smile. We flush it away. And it's not working. we deal with it.. no.. Evelyn. this four-year-old child came in pulling a toy wagon around the table and on the wagon was a fresh turd. Her own..42. * * MOORE I sincerely hope so. I sincerely hope so. Ah.) It was the end of the road for me.. And the parents just shook their heads and smiled. PETER I see. this is something that is really going to break open! Moore just looks at him.. Then. Fallow. I am on to something right now. 106 As they move across the room. Time and money. Peter. I suppose. PETER Well.. and I think I've got. of course.. We're having a private little dinner in the back. Well.. 106 CONTINUED: MOORE Thanks. Yes. See it coming? Christ. Yes. PETER (V. Come..O.. I could see it coming. And in the middle of the pudding.

Anything I should know? PETER Nothing to know.MORNING is on the phone. And I had to face up to that fact. Or I could take the time off. Small town. Any pulse? Ha. Hello? PETER Peter Fallow speaking. The TELEPHONE RINGS. it required the least amount of effort.O.. PETER (V. He staggers across the street into the City Light newspaper office. 6/11/90 EXT.MORNING In bed.ALBERT FOX . It was over. 108 INT. The car is a mini-office. PETER (V.) I'd had my chance and I'd blown it away in a bottle. 107 is sitting on a park bench. write a novel or two. in fact. This last suggestion actually seemed the most appealing because. that's all. You sound terrific.DAWN 43.O. FOX Peter? Albert Fox. but nobody seemed to know where you were or even who you were. His ASSISTANT sits next to him typing into a word processor. PETER (V. FALLOW'S BEDROOM . He answers. Yeah.) I could always go back home.O. CUT TO: 109 INT.) And then the telephone rang.)U( 107 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .. Or I could slit my wrists. LIMOUSINE .Rev. Ha! I called the office. He's been up all night. I'm working at home today.PETER FALLOW .PETER . (CONTINUED) 109 108 * * * * * * * * * . small newspaper. STREET .

44. Standing with Albert is another midget -. TV SET . (CONTINUED) * * * * * * * * * * . and the cause of these little people will always be dear to my heart.a woman. PULL BACK to include: Two DOCTORS (McDonald Carey and Dr.a man. thank you. Albert shakes hands. 109 * 110 thru 114A 114B OMITTED 110 thru 114A 114B INT. JENNIFER Have you ever thought of giving up the law and becoming an actor? ALBERT I am an actor. ALBERT Well.HOSPITAL ROOM . whether it be discrimination or job security or simply the right to have urinals at the proper height so that accidents like this do not happen. Hunter).. ALBERT .ALBERT FOX .DAY is standing by a bed. a newspaper reporter (Jennifer Horton) and Jack Devereaux. good. In the bed is a midget -. good. JACK And a damn good one too. 6/11/90 CONTINUED: FOX Good. I think there's a hell of a story in it..)U( 109 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . She is crying.no matter how big or how small -.Rev. He has a bandage around his head. ALBERT When the rights of any people are threatened -...Albert Fox will always be on the case. I got something I want to talk to you about. Peter.

FOX (approaching) Cute.Rev.. ladies and gentlemen. 114B They shake hands.)U( 114B BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .STUDIO As everyone applauds. for being our guest.PETER FALLOW on the sidelines.) And cut. aren't they? PETER Uh. 6/11/90 CONTINUED: DOCTOR Your help is greatly appreciated. Albert then picks up the midget woman and kisses her on the cheek. 114D ANGLE .. looking through a folder of papers. VOICE FROM BOOTH (O. Albert Fox.S. 114C ANGLE . toward. Thank you. Not only by us but by all Americans.. A44A. (CONTINUED) Albert shakes hands and moves 114D 114C .. Albert. yes. And thank you.

PETER No. These girls all want to sleep with their fathers. And if you're old and famous. 6/11/90 CONTINUED: FOX And they weigh a ton. No. They all move toward the exit.Rev. Thanks. . 44A. 114D Fox's Assistant approaches.)U( 114D BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . No. No. it's the only place I can still get laid. I got to do it. It's important. and you know how to use a condom they'll fuck your brains out. No. You want a drink? You look like you could use one. No. (to Peter) For one thing. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ASSISTANT Do you want to cancel City College? FOX No.

That's all. FOX A poor. Look.NIGHT 45. This would be good for him. There's a story in it for somebody. The black community is up in arms. Yes...)U( 114E BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . minding his own business. And I'm telling you.. the shit flies high. PETER My situation? (CONTINUED) * . And boom! Hit and run. But I'm not altogether sure there's a story in it. And knowing a little about your situation. Peter. FOX You look at the Henry Lamb material? PETER Well. 6/11/90 EXT. PETER I see. I thought if you were the one to break the story. innocent black kid.Rev. I want to see justice done. Reverend Bacon is a friend of mine. walking down the street.. but. And. of course. yeah. it's an unfortunate situation. 114E * * * Fox. but what's your interest exactly? FOX I'm a lawyer. when Reverend Bacon gets a feather in his ass. Peter and the Assistant come outside and descend the escalator. Peter.. STUDIO .

He said a few things. Good.) Too many.) I could lose my job for this. Let's do R. Why? * PETER I'll have a Scotch and water.B. MOTOR VEHICLE OFFICE . ASSISTANT (O. R..NIGHT The letters RE are being punched up and then a series of license plate numbers beginning with those letters appear. LIMOUSINE . YOUNG MAN (O. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: FOX Your boss was at my house for dinner the other night. Fox and the assistant get into the limo. and see what we get. FOX A little girl..NIGHT The Assistant fixes Fox a drink from a portable bar.S.E. 114F PETER Does she have a little toy wagon? Yes. They get into the limo. 115 INT. PETER Do you have a daughter? Yes. 114E Peter follows. 116 115 . PETER I see.FOX'S ASSISTANT AND YOUNG MAN ASSISTANT You'll read all about it in the newspapers. FOX I think she does. I do. 114F INT.)O( 114E BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Yes.Rev.. What are you going to do with this information? 116 ANGLE . Fox throws it down and gives the glass back to the Assistant. Come on.S. and R.P. Good. 46.COMPUTER SCREEN . FOX Get in.

LONG ISLAND SUBURB . They have an open admissions policy.47. she means City College. I guess he was okay. So.DAY is in his driveway sipping a beer and painting a "For Sale" sign. There's no in-between. Henry Lamb? 118 RIFKIN Who's that? 118 117 ANGLE TO INCLUDE PETER FALLOW AND RIFKIN PETER He was a student of yours at Ruppert High. I'm a journalist. An '81 Corvette is parked in the driveway. RIFKIN I don't remember him. RIFKIN Well. In your English class. 117 EXT. if I don't remember him. PETER His mother says he was considering going to college. He was? RIFKIN What's he done? PETER He was seriously injured. I write for a newspaper. if you live in the city and you graduate from high school and you're still breathing.ED RIFKIN . Oh. (CONTINUED) . They're either cooperative or life-threatening. they have to take you. PETER What I would like to find out is what kind of student he was. RIFKIN Well. PETER Would you say he was a 'good' student? RIFKIN 'Good' doesn't really apply to Ruppert High.

? PETER Fallow. then) Well. SHERMAN'S OFFICE . an honor student is somebody who comes to class and doesn't piss on the teacher. At Ruppert High.CLOSE ON NEWSPAPER HEADLINE DAY HONOR STUDENT IN COMA COPS SIT ON HIT AND RUN 119 118 . is Henry Lamb an honors student? RIFKIN Well. Jesus. See. 119 INT. We don't make those kinds of comparisons.. PETER Do you have any of his written work? RIFKIN Oh. 118 CONTINUED: PETER Well. there hasn't been any written work at Ruppert High since. you're thinking about grades and honor students and high achievers. RIFKIN I got sixty-five students in every class. by that standard. there must be some record of how he measures up to the others.anything at all? RIFKIN Look. So by that standard. yes. PETER (pauses. PETER Well. I guess he must be.. Maybe twenty.48... he never pissed on me... oh. is there anything at all you can tell me about his performance or aptitude -. We're just trying to keep them off the street. fifteen years.. Mr. RIFKIN No..

NEWSPAPER PHOTO of Henry Lamb dressed in a cap and gown.SCENE 122 121 120 119A * as Sherman tries to read the article upside-down and talk to Bernard. reading.. And then shock as Sherman recognizes... Bernard. Felix. Jesus Christ! No.. The franc is no problem. let me see that paper. 119A ANGLE .. uh.. SHERMAN (O. we've had a few minor -. So let's not get ourselves whipped up into a-a-a coma. (CONTINUED) . And then he sees.hell.SHERMAN who is cool and confident.. We can hedge that to next January or to term or both. 124 thru 126 127 OMITTED 124 thru 126 127 123 ANGLE .. I don't think that's necessary.S..FELIX is shining Sherman's shoes and reading the newspaper." 122 ANGLE . Bernard. not you. 121 HIS POV . Bernard.THE NEWSPAPER HEADLINE upside-down.) I think you're exaggerating the situation. 123 ANGLE .49... "Honor Student in Coma. SHERMAN (on phone) Look..SHERMAN is losing control. 120 ANGLE . they're not even problems. SHERMAN (on phone) No. SHERMAN (on phone) .

voices come out of the chaotic room. No.SHERMAN . a frantic salesman was a dead salesman. She is carrying a large portfolio-type case. He sits there in his two thousand dollar Saville Row suit and his New and Lingwood cap-toed shoes and he sweats.S. Wait a minute.) Holy fucking shit. And Sherman knew it. Bernard. I want out! want out!! 128 & 129 130 OMITTED I 128 & 129 130 * * * * * 127 * * EXT.DAY is standing outside Maria's apartment building.50. suitable for transporting a painting. I was just thinking about you.) Feds buying all coupons! Market subject! VOICE #2 (O. I'm sorry. Six hundred million dollars. VOICE #1 (O. Bernard. 'wait'?! What the hell are you talking about? Now you listen to me. STREET .O. It was gone. Bernard! Don't leave me! Don't leave me! PETER (V. Where have you been? (CONTINUED) . Maria gets out. Sherman tries to read the article and talk to Bernard at the same time.) But it was too late. Wait.S. Sherman intercepts her. We can't wait! We've got to move now! You're raising phantom issues here. Around him. Bernard. MARIA Sherman. 127 CONTINUED: Felix hands him the paper. A cab pulls up. darling. He puts down the phone and stares at the newspaper. SHERMAN (on phone) 'Wait'? What do you mean. On Wall Street. It doesn't matter what happens to gold and francs on a day-to-day basis! We've got to pull ourselves together and just fucking do it!! Look.

Sherman. but what is going on here? WORKMAN We're putting in a new intercom system.. Me. And what about the ramp and the tire?! They're talking about a little saint here who was on his way to get milk and cookies for his widowed mother. SHERMAN Absolutely wrong! All of it. MARIA'S APARTMENT . And who is this Peter Fallow? He has everything wrong. Are you. Now come on in and have a drink.. I know just what you need. As they go into the building.51.. The super let me in. Sporatically. 130 CONTINUED: SHERMAN (showing her the newspaper) Have you seen this? Have you seen this perversion of the truth? MARIA Don't I get a kiss first? SHERMAN Have you read it? MARIA Oh. MARIA Yes.DAY 131 130 has just finished installing a new intercom system near the open door of the apartment. CUT TO: 131 INT.. Sherman and Maria appear in the doorway. (MORE) (CONTINUED) .WORKMAN . All the apartments. SHERMAN Sporatically. They don't even mention the other boy. too. Maria. you know I only read the newspapers spasmodically. MARIA Excuse me.

)O( 131 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . But it's not legal. MARIA Well. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: WORKMAN (CONT'D) (checking a piece of paper) Miss Caroline Heftshank? I need you to sign a receipt. I'm all done. Caroline pays $351 for this place. SHERMAN You don't think it's weird this fellow showed up today. It's rent controlled. After that unconscionable piece in the paper. I'm just a guest of Miss Heftshank. Sherman. MARIA That was close. So we don't have much time. 131 He packs up and leaves. They would love to get Caroline out of here. I have to leave for the airport in twenty minutes. She laughs. MARIA Oh. WORKMAN No problem. I don't live here... Maria closes the door after him. uh... Look.Rev. But they have to prove she doesn't live here. You are completely paranoidical. * SHERMAN You don't think they could possibly trace the car to me? (CONTINUED) . So. Christ. 52. SHERMAN What's going on? MARIA Nothing. Okay. I sublet it for eleven hundred a month.

I just lost 600 million dollars. into her portfolio.Rev. I have a car coming in -. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: (2) MARIA How? They don't have the full number. MARIA Filippo Chirazzi. however. I told you. And the reason he hasn't. Maria.oh. What do you say? SHERMAN I'm upset. Do you know him? I hope not. he would have done it by now. ten minutes. like you. (CONTINUED) . 53. Would you get my blue jacket out of that closet? Sherman gets the jacket. And possibly my job. I don't feel terrifically sexy at the moment. give me a hand. No.)O( 131 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . I'm taking it with me. SHERMAN Right. We have time for a quickie. SHERMAN Where are you going? MARIA The airport. MARIA If he was gonna materialize. is because he's a criminal. SHERMAN God. it looks MARIA No. There is the other boy. Suppose he came forward. and the only one who could recognize you is in terminal comatosis. God. 131 Maria starts putting a painting * * SHERMAN What a wretched painting. Maria. How could it be? Come on. He's a friend of Caroline. they don't have a witness.

Rev. Absolutely nothing. 131 * They are making love as we.LARGE WHITE VAN .PETER FALLOW getting out of a taxi. Trust me.. Don't you think I'm the one who should make the decision? And I say. "Channel 1 News . Signs on the van read. CUT TO: 132 EXT.. PETER Peter Fallow." The streets are empty. We could get a very talented lawyer. No. MARIA And put our heads right into the horse's mouth? I'm the one who was driving the car. from City Light.DAY pulls up in front of the Edgar Allen Poe housing project. you are incorrigible. Sherman. BRONX STREET . PETER Where are all the people? (CONTINUED) .BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .. Oh yeah. 132 ANGLE . Nothing is going to come of this little newspaper article. no. 133 thru 135 136 OMITTED 133 thru 135 * 136 He approaches Buck. MARIA Am I? She kisses him..The Live 1. SHERMAN I suppose we could still go to the police. SHERMAN Maria. BUCK (HECKLER) Right. 4/18/90 131 CONTINUED: (3) MARIA You know I'm a sucker for a soft dick. 54.

4/25/90 CONTINUED: BUCK They'll be here.TO INCLUDE REVA 137 a demented-looking white woman who is passing out Xeroxed literature under the heading. Our hero. And I expect big coverage. in-depth coverage.Rev. Reva! Give this man the release. station spreading this news thinly. BACON Mr. You and your little newspaper article. 55. I feel as if we already know each other. you're the reason we're up in this godforsaken place. 138 REVA There's Robert Corsaro! 138 * * ANGLE . Corsaro. Bacon goes to Fallow and Corsaro. You understand me? I could have had every newspaper and T.)J( 136 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . too thinly across the airways. (CONTINUED) * . "The People Demand Action In The Henry Lamb Case" Ohhh.. Soon as they see the tower. 136 137 ANGLE . PETER Sorry about that. Fallow. But I have chosen only you two. CORSARO Oh. PETER Peter Fallow. * 139 & 140 140A OMITTED 139 & 140 140A ANGLE .HOUSING PROJECT Reverend Bacon comes out of the building with Annie and the gospel singers who take their places in the rubble. City Light. And Mr.. You have an exclusive here.ROBERT CORSARO coming from the TV van.V.

Fallow. PETER Well. Fallow. then let's get to work. honestly. That's what I've been told. 140A * * * 141 ANGLE . CORSARO We're about ready here. PETER Look. And I've never known the two to go hand in hand. And you're almost out of a job.. Bacon leaves Peter. This is show business. 4/25/90 CONTINUED: CORSARO (going back to the van) Well.and that's the best whore in the house.REMOTE TOWER A silvery shaft with bright orange cable wrapped around it rising two and a half stories above the street now. BACON You're a drunk. Get with the program. aren't you afraid we may be trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill here? I mean. I don't think so. Corsaro returns. when you come to work in a whore house. BACON Honesty has nothing to do with this. here. But this is New York City. Aren't you? Or am I misinformed? PETER I think maybe you've got the wrong man..Rev. I don't think so at all. Mr. 56. BACON Oh. Mr. Fallow.)J( 140A BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .. Mr. I am a journalist. People start coming out of the buildings to see what's going on.. Reverend. 141 . And I'm telling you. there's only one thing you want to be -. you may have been a knight in shining armour back in Kansas.

Mr." "Hit 'n' run 'n' lie to the people. BACON Brothers and sisters. our neighbor.a photo of Weiss reading -"WEISS FOR MAYOR JUSTICE FOR ALL" BACON This man has turned his back on Henry Lamb. And now he lies in a hospital. And I stand before you with a heart that is angry.Rev. trying to get on camera. 142 thru 146 147 ANGLE . I stand before you with a heart that is broken. Abraham Weiss. Heart broken because our brother. Bacon holds up a Weiss campaign poster -. 148 148A OMITTED ANGLE . No sir! * During the above." "Lamb slaughtered by indifference.REVEREND BACON speaks to the crowd. isn't he? (CONTINUED) * 148B * 148 148A . Henry Lamb has been stuck down in the prime of his young life.)O( 142 thru 146 147 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES ..CORSARO approaches Fallow while Bacon is speaking. our son. "Weiss justice is white justice. CORSARO He's something. for one." 148B ANGLE . But my heart is also angry. 4/26/90 OMITTED 57. broken like my heart. And I. am not going to stand for it. a group of kids are pushing and shoving and laughing behind Bacon. Angry because the driver of that car did nothing for him! And neither did the police.. And neither did this man -. Also during Bacon's speech. Bacon's audience.BUCK passing out placards to Rev.

CORSARO Because. Bacon to the forefront. CORSARO I mean this Henry Lamb is.. listen. neighbors seem to like him. is a nice kid. PETER No question about it. The choir sings.. well. he's on the level with this one. Yes. * Yes.ANNIE LAMB is being led by Rev. 148B CORSARO But. an honor student. isn't he? I mean this is a legitimate story. PETER Sure.Rev. Oh. No record. The crowd goes quiet. was . You know? 148C ANGLE . Then. 148C * * . So it would be good if it were true... 58. I don't give a shit...)J( 148B BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . 4/25/90 CONTINUED: Yes. PETER He certainly is. Peter hesitates. but he's gonna be a saint by the time we get through with him. Bacon puts Annie in front of the crowd as if he were introducing a queen or a saint.

who's at his limo. CUT TO: 150 INT.) (on T. 149 * dressed in black. she raises her right arm. we'll do it ourselves!' WEISS That's my name. 6/12/90 ANGLE . As it SPLATTERS. And then her hand changes to a clenched fist and she screams. (CONTINUED) . a graphic portrays the Weiss poster with graffiti scribbled on it: "WEISS JUSTICE IS WHITE JUSTICE" CORSARO (V.) And while authorities are dragging their feet.. Corsaro reports. as if to wave.DAY 150 Kramer.'If you don't launch an investigation. DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S OFFICE .. Weiss.. the protesters were sending a message to Bronx district attorney and mayoral candidate Abe Weiss -. Behind him. WEISS Who the hell are you? Kramer.. On TV we see Corsaro interviewing Albert Fox. screaming with her. KRAMER This is a fuck-up. A man in the crowd hurls a JAR of mayonnaise at the poster of Abe Weiss. sir.)V( 149 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Ray Andriutti and several aides are watching the TV coverage of the demonstration.ANNIE 59. WEISS Look at this shit! Look at it! They're throwing shit right in my face! Weiss flips a channel.. looking small and frail.V.O. KRAMER I'm. That's my own fucking name.Rev. Justice! ANNIE Justice! Justice! The crowd goes berserk. Slowly.. with his aide.

We don't even know where it happened. There was no comment from the District Attorney's office about Reverend Bacon's demand for justice. Lamb. while at the same time.V. WEISS (reacts) Now they've got Albert Fox with them.) So. sources at Motor Vehicle say there are less than 200 Mercedes with plates beginning with the key letters. RE. a graphic portrays a Mercedes and licence plate number with five question marks. Meanwhile. 6/12/90 CONTINUED: CORSARO (V. the Wizard of Oz.Quote 'We'll do it ourselves!' WEISS And how did they get this information out of Motor Vehicle? Whose side are they on?! RAY Calm down.) (on T. 60.) I am here to join with the black community in expressing not only its grief but also its outrage. ANCHORWOMAN (V. protestors are threatening if Bronx district attorney and mayoral candidate Abe Weiss doesn't launch an investigation -. (CONTINUED) .. of course.. And. RB or RP. Albert. Abe.O. Behind her.. whatever I can do to help Mrs.O. I will do. We had this information a week ago. what for? We don't have a witness. why are you here? FOX (V.O. WEISS Then why aren't we doing anything? Why aren't we tracing the car? What am I.) ..)V( 150 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . 150 * Weiss switches channel to an Anchorwoman.Rev. We don't even know if it happened. I don't know anything!? RAY Trace the car.

gee. I hit this kid. I did it. WEISS Just trace the fucking car. 151 & 152 OMITTED 151 & 152 . and yeah I didn't stop and I didn't report it. Ray. even if we find the car. 6/12/90 CONTINUED: (2) WEISS Trace the car. the other night. oh. Even if we find the owner and the owner says.Rev. Then we have a case. Weiss sits down looking sadly at the 60A. Ten minutes of news like this and all of a sudden I'm a hymie racist pig. I did it. RAY We don't have a case. Ray leaves. 150 WEISS Yesterday I was a respected Jewish liberal. yeah. yeah. yeah.)V( 150 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . television.

too. WEISS We're going to prove to these niggers that this administration loves them. Cuban. The sun is setting over the New Justice! Justice!" 154 153 WEISS All the rich sons of bitches. We're going to prove to these black motherfuckers -. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 155 . Howard. York skyline. Now this is what we're going to do. We're going to turn this thing around. one wing for them. West Indian. Let them see what this feels like. And they won't even know what they're laughing at. snug like a bug. Albanian.you don't think the future knows how to cross a bridge? You laugh. Park Avenue. Chinese. Let them feel what it's like when every Puerto Rican. They think money is going to protect them? Stupid sons of bitches. one for the help.BACK TO SCENE WEISS The Italians will love this. Fifth. They still think they own this city. Let the whole Third World see the smoke and come after them. (turns and faces his aides) Alright. twelve-foot ceilings. You laugh. They love laughing at me. the Irish. Beekman Place. He goes to the window. black man from every corner of every borough -. I'd like to light a bonfire under all their lily-white asses.. Korean. And the Wasps. They love this shit more than anybody. Filippino. If it kills us.excuse my language. They sit in their co-ops. 155 ANGLE TO INCLUDE BLACK AIDE smiles acknowledgement of the apology.61.TV The crowd screaming "Justice! 154 ANGLE . 153 ANGLE ..

Maybe you heard about it. they're going to be thinking of me as the first black District Attorney of Bronx County. SHERMAN What's. Right.MARTIN AND GOLDBERG . DOORMAN Mr. STREET SIGN . They're going to beg me to be mayor. SHERMAN'S APARTMENT BUILDING .that's what we're going to do. 174B * 174C INT. 155 CONTINUED: WEISS (CONT'D) No matter what it takes. Tony.... We're investigating an automobile accident. FOYER . We're going to walk away with that election.. sir...DUSK gets out of a taxi and walks into. CUT TO: 156 thru 174 174A OMITTED 156 thru 174 174A * 155 * * * * EXT. By November." 174B EXT.DUSK are talking to the Doorman as Sherman approaches.SHERMAN . SHERMAN Hello. I'm Detective Martin. 174C * DOORMAN These gentlemen.62. (CONTINUED) . MARTIN Sorry to bother you. That's what we're going to do. This is Detective Goldberg. I am no racist Hymie. Ah.DUSK Reading: "PARK AVE... DOORMAN Eddie. If we have to screw every white asshole from Albany to Park Avenue -. McCoy.

' MARTIN You and a lotta people. you. sir? SHERMAN Ah. MARTIN AND GOLDBERG .63.. we have a Mercedes and the license starts with an R. Can you tell us if your car was in use the night this happened? SHERMAN When exactly was it? MARTIN Tuesday a week ago.my wife said. SHERMAN Oh.? Do you.. SHERMAN Oh. Sure. 174D SHERMAN Not at all.. Yes. 'Good Lord. Yes. We said -.. Let's see. Sure. On television. Well. SHERMAN I don't know.. Yes. yeah... really? The elevator arrives. 174D * Would 174C INT. 174C CONTINUED: Martin holds up a copy of the City Light article. No. ELEVATOR . MARTIN So. DOORMAN Are you going up.. have to figure. Let me think. yes.DUSK MARTIN We just need to ask a few questions. I'd (CONTINUED) . Come up. Last night.? MARTIN Is this a bad time? No. SHERMAN Go ahead.SHERMAN.

We could take a look. 174D CONTINUED: MARTIN Anybody else use your car? SHERMAN My wife. 174E The doors open. (CONTINUED) 174F * . SHERMAN Yes.64. And we're out of your hair. SHERMAN Now? MARTIN Soon as we leave here. 174F INT. yes.SHERMAN . And the people at the garage. SHERMAN So you want to take a look at the car then. MARTIN Could we go there and take a look at it? The elevator stops. MARTIN Parking garage. There's things that's consistent with an incident like this.DUSK leads Martin and Goldberg inside.. SHERMAN The car? MARTIN Yes. 174E * 174D INT.SHERMAN . MARTIN You leave the car with the keys and they park it. FOYER . Sometimes.DUSK unlocks the apartment door. we move on down the list.. APARTMENT . We don't find those things. SHERMAN Well.

You see? Martin and Goldberg look at each other. MARTIN We just want to look at the car. MARTIN I don't follow.I don't know how these things work. We're sorry about the inconvenience. The routine. But if it is a routine. McCoy. I mean. So we gotta look for the car. MARTIN. I should. follow the routine that's appropriate to me. Sherman into.I think that's what I need to consider. but there must also be a routine for a person like me. SHERMAN Well. SHERMAN I see. 174G Then they follow 174G * 174F INT. to someone with a car in this situation. You see? MARTIN No. GOLDBERG . GOLDBERG Excuse me. And that means bothering a lot of innocent people. an owner of a car with a license number -. Mr. 174F CONTINUED: MARTIN Yeah. LIBRARY . But is there something you want to tell us? (CONTINUED) . well.. well. if you have a routine in an investigation like this -. SHERMAN I understand.65.DUSK No.SHERMAN. MARTIN We don't have a description of a driver.. SHERMAN That's what I mean... But it's a routine sort of thing. I guess I ought to.

I think. the bitch starts coming out of him. if you want to cooperate. you can say nothing at all. I guess what I should do is. Before things get complicated. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: (CONTINUED) 67 175 * . SHERMAN No. If you want..)O( 174G BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . I think that. 66.. But mainly.Rev... 175 )O( 175 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . That's your right. CRIMINAL JUSTICE BUILDING .. if you lacked the 'funds' for an attorney. look.. You also have the right to an attorney. then I should tell you that you don't have to say anything. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: SHERMAN Well. now is the time to tell us.. 174G * 175 INT. safe. the state would provide you with one -. GOLDBERG . certain. how do you mean? GOLDBERG Because. If that's what you wanted. if there is. I mean. Goldberg sits down on the edge of Sherman's desk... If you have reasons for not cooperating. I. I just think. GOLDBERG Let me put it this way.Rev.. GOLDBERG So I read him his rights -. that's great..free of charge.HALLWAY ..KRAMER EVENING is moving fast as he talks with Martin and Goldberg. All of sudden. SHERMAN Well. Ain't that the truth.as casual as I can do it. Marty? MARTIN Yeah. I should. just to be sure. it's the look on his face. for that matter. I should talk this over with an attorney.

McCoy. Sponget and Leach.MARTIN And then he sits down on the guy's desk.. We got him. CUT TO: 176 176A OMITTED INT. But he's confused. And his eyes are getting bigger and he's double-talking like a son of a bitch. His wife is a fucking socialite. we think so. KRAMER What'd he do? GOLDBERG Nothin' at first. KRAMER Sherman McCoy. Got who? Well.EVENING As they reach Weiss. His old man ran Dunning. KRAMER I think we got him. This guy is Park Avenue. CRIMINAL JUSTICE BLDG. yeah.. WEISS What do you got? GOLDBERG 176 176A WEISS You think it's him? MARTIN Well. I'm thinking there's something there.STAIRCASE . WEISS Does this put an end to this white justice shit? Ray Andruitti interrupts him. but. ... KRAMER It's him. He's got his name in the columns. We got him. (CONTINUED) .

You got to give people hope! WEISS You mean. KRAMER I'll tell you what you got to do. You got to get to Manhattan. Bring him in for questioning. KRAMER To the wall. No. Your only witness is in a hospital likely to die. Fucking zip. We got zip on this guy. You got to let them know that justice is blind. WEISS I like this man. I like him. What's the kid's condition? Any chance he'll regain consciousness? RAY What if he does? He can't talk. You've got to send a signal out to the poor people of this city. You got to let them know that if you're white and rich. Go public. Don't listen to this shit. Look. you get the same treatment you get when you're black and poor. RAY Go public?! You got nothing here. KRAMER I think he's the type we could smoke out. we nail the wasp. 176A * (CONTINUED) . You got a speech to make. sir. WEISS But maybe he can point. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: RAY Abe. RAY Point? 68. Abe.Rev. He's breathing from a tube down his throat.)O( 176A BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .

69. AIDE Mr. That's your case?! It's never gonna stand up. We cannot do that.Rev. but it might work. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: (2) WEISS Yeah. Ray. And he keeps pointing. (CONTINUED) . Then we can relax and do the right thing. An AIDE rushes up to Kramer and pulls him aside. We get the attention. Read my lips. WEISS (screams) I know that.. KRAMER Might work. the pictures. he'll shit and die. I know that. RAY Look at me. He wakes up out of a coma and sees four white men in suits and ties staring at him from the end of the bed. Abe. RAY I don't believe what I'm hearing! Some poor gook with a tube down his throat pointing at a picture. and he points to McCoy's picture. And the kid comes to. No way. We take a picture of Sherman McCoy over to the hospital. and we put them by the bed. Watch my mouth.. That's all. white guys.. We get the press. That might work. And three or four other guys.)O( 176A BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . It's a long shot. WEISS It's worth a try. No. 176A * Nobody believes what they're hearing -. I just want to bring the guy in! Just bring him in. to this kid. Kramer? Yeah? KRAMER What do you want? RAY (to Weiss) You'll kill him. I got an idea.except Kramer..

177 . WEISS (shouting over the noise) What?! What?!! KRAMER I think we got a mother-fucking witness!!! 177 INT.DAY is having his mug shots taken. Kramer leaves the Aide and KRAMER I think we got a witness. 176A * Weiss growls in frustration.)O( 176A BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . 4/26/90 CONTINUED: (3) 69A. CRIMINAL COURTS BUILDING .Rev. He is immediately recognizable as the other young man who was with Henry Lamb. goes to Weiss.ROLAND .

KILLIAN I believe you.. at the scene? HAYDEN He'll say whatever you want him to say. That's what you do. Tell him it's urgent about this Henry Lamb shit... I swear there was another one. is black. I want a Jew.) HAYDEN . they got nothing on you. TOM KILLIAN'S OFFICE .' KRAMER Nice guy. 70. He wants a deal. McCoy. HAYDEN This is his third drug arrest.DAY is standing in front of KILLIAN who is seated at his desk.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .SHERMAN . hello.. I'm your lawyer. SHERMAN But suppose the other fellow comes forward. KRAMER And he'll say he was there. 4/18/90 178 ANGLE . 179 CLOSE ON ROLAND CUT TO: 180 INT. It was a set-up. Mr. He was big. I don't want no nigger lawyer.KRAMER talking to CECIL HAYDEN as they watch Roland. You just sit tight. 'Fuck you. They were going to take you off. (picks up a phone) Get me Andruitti over in the Bronx. Sounds to me like he's got good reasons not to come forward. 178 (Hayden 179 180 * * (CONTINUED) . mother. And he says.Rev. I'm from Legal Aid. So I walk up to him and I say. KILLIAN I'm telling you.

and Reverend Bacon and Weiss has an election coming up. And they will make a big show out of arresting you.. Ruskin. They would eat you up. I want to pre-empt this whole situation. Ruskin -. you are dying to get your hands on a nice white couple like you and Mrs. SHERMAN But why? KILLIAN Forget it's already a political football.in the situation we were in.'s office and every day you prosecute people with names like Tiffany Latour and Sancho Rodriguez and Chong Wong and Shabazz Kazan Tamali.. Biscuit city. I mean. But I didn't come here to. And it will be very unpleasant.. I mean.Mrs. I'm not disagreeing with you. Forget that and remember that when you work in the D.V. I don't want it to go any further. I want to go to the police with Maria -. Ayyy! Whaddaya whaddaya! They would devour you. ehhh! You open your mouth and they will arrest you. (CONTINUED) 180 . I don't know about the law.and just tell them exactly what happened. And I don't see..A.71. but I feel morally certain that we did what was right -. KILLIAN Ayyyy! You Wall Street honchos are real gamblers. KILLIAN What does that mean? SHERMAN It means I want to take the initiative. Forget the T. you were recommended as the best criminal lawyer around. 180 CONTINUED: SHERMAN Look.

too. how are you? Yeah. Oh. . too. The PHONE RINGS. You know. They give you the scholarly view. I'm sitting here with Sherman McCoy.Rev. Yeah. Andruitti. 180 Sherman sits down. It's terrific for anything you want to do -. (into phone) Hey. Yeah. What do you think? (winks at Sherman and smiles) Uh-huh. Yeah. I don't know if he needs a lawyer. (picks up the phone) Yeah. KILLIAN You. Mrs. (to Sherman) I need to talk to your friend. Yeah.as long as it doesn't involve real people. He puts down the phone and looks at Sherman. (smile fades) So what does that mean? Okay. SHERMAN I understand you went to Yale. Yeah. KILLIAN We got a problem. 72. KILLIAN That is guaranteed. Put him on. Yeah? I'll hold.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . you guinea. As law schools go. What? SHERMAN What is it? * KILLIAN They're going to arrest you. Huh? SHERMAN What did you think of it? KILLIAN It was okay. Yeah. 4/18/90 180 CONTINUED: (2) He is depressed. That's right. Yeah. Believe me. you do not want to be arrested in the South Bronx. Yeah. Well. Ruskin. Yeah. Sure. Well.

Just stop saying it. FOLLOW her TO. She is wearing a formal dress with gigantic shoulders. 181 * 182 is on the house phone. I'll straighten it out with Gene first thing in the morning.Rev. And the car is here.. I can't change it. JUDY Tell him to wait. Judy comes into the room. Please. (hangs up) But why do we need a car? They only live six blocks from here.. SHERMAN (on phone) I know it was six hundred million.NIGHT is sitting half-dressed in black tie.SHERMAN . Eight o'clock. McCOY BUILDING . JUDY (overlapping) Sherman.CHAUFFEUR . Rawlie. 183 INT. I'll call you later. phone.NIGHT The 73. Rawlie. Doorman picks up the house phone. 182 INT. We'll be right down. What is the matter with you? You're not even dressed and the car is already here. I have a previous appointment. They are taking us to the opera. Well.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . What? SHERMAN What car? (on phone) No.NIGHT gets out of a limo and speaks to the Doorman. Tonight. not first thing. (CONTINUED) . BEDROOM . McCOY APARTMENT . 4/18/90 181 EXT. He is on the 183 JUDY Leon and Inez Bavardage. Just stay calm. SHERMAN Rawlie.JUDY .

Judy.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . please. SHERMAN We haven't talked about anything for the last three weeks. A small wind would turn me into a kite. 4/18/90 183 CONTINUED: JUDY Because after the opera we're going to the museum for the Benefit.Rev. (CONTINUED) . SHERMAN Then let's take a taxi. JUDY Well there's no reason to start now. JUDY You're right. SHERMAN We have to talk now. 74. It is pouring out of us with every beat of our heart. JUDY I can't walk down the street in this dress.. JUDY We can't hire a chauffeur in the next fifteen minutes. It might be cheaper in the long run to hire a permanent chauffeur. SHERMAN Judy.. Isn't that worth talking about?!? Judy sits down and thinks. 183 * JUDY Why are we having this conversation? SHERMAN Because a car is going to take us six blocks and wait there for five and a half hours and then drive us another six blocks home and it is going to cost us three hundred and forty-six dollars?! We are hemorrhaging money. SHERMAN We could walk. JUDY We'll talk about it later.

JUDY Sherman.." The Don refuses. The 184 185 186 OMITTED ANGLE . He flips through his libretto.NIGHT The last scene of Don Giovanni is being played out. We can talk about it later. Wouldn't you? Now please.Rev. SHERMAN I'm going to be arrested in the morning. OPERA HOUSE . you'd do anything to ruin this for me. I cannot be upset now.STAGE as the floor opens up around Don Giovanni. It will determine whether or not I will be chairman of the museum benefit this year.. Get dressed. Sherman is transfixed by what he is seeing on the stage.)O( 183 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . urging him to "repent. Tomorrow morning. 185 186 * 187 HIS POV .SHERMAN breaking into a sweat. Sherman. You have to know about this. Something is happening here. JUDY 189 . this is a very important evening.TEXT and the word "repent" in English and Italian. Flames and 188 189 ANGLE .SHERMAN in a box with Judy and Leonard and Inez Bavardage. there is. 187 188 ANGLE . 183 184 INT. The MUSIC THUNDERS threateningly. JUDY Really. 75. demons reach for him. Shhh! He reaches for Judy. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: (2) SHERMAN Yes.ONSTAGE . Commandatori has the Don in his grip.

darling. * * * * * * 193 * * 192 AUBREY BUFFING (O.. SHERMAN Well.. The museum party is in full gear.SALLY RAWTHROATE grabs him by the arm and pulls him into her conversation with Aubrey. 194 HIS POV . facing his crime. I've seen your apartment. SHERMAN Uh.. 193 ANGLE . ARTHUR RUSKIN. SALLY You're Judy McCoy's husband. Yes. SALLY I'm in real estate.76. (CONTINUED) 195 194 . A pack of hyenas are hovering.) There he is. CUT TO: 191 INT.MARIA is walking across the room with her husband.SHERMAN looking at the scene. MUSEUM .SHERMAN is shocked. 192 ANGLE . spilling his drink.a lion is eating a just-killed zebra.STAGE as Don Giovanni screams and falls into the jaws of hell. Any time you even think about selling. Don Juan..S.NIGHT 191 190 depicts a jungles scene -.DIARAMA .. 195 ANGLE . 190 ANGLE . in the viselike grip of fate. facing his entire life of selfish consumption and profligate wasting of himself and others. Sherman turns and bumps into Aubrey. it's unlikely. Sherman looks across the room and sees.. And.

' During the above. SALLY We were talking about the opera. She goes back and forth to Italy like a Ping-Pong ball.. AUBREY (holding on to Sherman's hand) 'The wrath of heaven must be at hand.. Sherman sees. * * * * 198 197 196 195 Ah. 196 HIS POV . SALLY He has AIDS. SHERMAN Oh. She took a house on Lake Como. 195 CONTINUED: SALLY Have you met Aubrey Buffing the poet? He's on the short list for the Nobel Prize. 198 ANGLE .77... I see the deadly thunderbolt poised above his head! I see the fatal abyss open before him. * . She's crazy now all of a sudden for anything Italian.. SHERMAN Excuse me.. SHERMAN (shakes hands with Aubrey) Hello. its justice will not tarry.ARTHUR RUSKIN speaking to Judy.JUDY is being introduced to Maria on the other side of the room. 197 ANGLE . ARTHUR .SHERMAN extricates himself from Aubrey. My wife lives on airplanes.

the only bonds I know about are bail bonds. from the opera? And Nunnally Voyd -.... SHERMAN Well... BOBBY And what do you do. The group laughs and turns away from Sherman.SHERMAN comes up next to Judy. JUDY Sherman. Sherman pulls her away.Rev. JUDY Who? SHERMAN The poet. He has AIDS. JUDY Sherman! Have you met Bobby Shalfet. 78. SHERMAN I want you to meet Aubrey Buffing. BOBBY I was arrested last year in Montreal for pissing on a tree.. SHERMAN Uh. BOBBY Bonds. SHERMAN Bonds. As Judy tries to rejoin the group. and Arthur Ruskin and his wife Maria. 4/18/90 199 ANGLE . McCoy? SHERMAN Bonds. couldn't you try just once.. He's on the short list for the Nobel Prize. hi. You'll love him. BOBBY Well.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . to be a little bit interesting. Judy. Mr.. 199 * (CONTINUED) .oh.

Rev. Aubrey continues talking as he passes. the drink. .. 199 200 AUBREY And even when repentence is offered... He refuses to deny his life.fatal as they may be -he cannot resist them.. enormous table of food. 4/18/90 199 CONTINUED: JUDY Sherman.AUBREY BUFFING walking and speaking to a woman. A married couple. Now go and mingle.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . The food. he refuses. As they pass an 78A.. talking to each other. we are alone in the middle of the room. 200 ANGLE . You simply don't do this. She leaves him. Please.. the flesh -.

s'il vous plait. SHERMAN Are you sure? MARIA Yes. the ballet dancer? SHERMAN Uh. He's so pleased with himself. darling. Do you know Boris.. a ballet dancer. Sherman tries to smile throughout the following. SHERMAN You mean he defected. MARIA Sherman! We have to stop meeting like this. MARIA Of course. My husband is watching me. He's just closed a new deal. A charter business. would you like me to eat your ass? BORIS Encore du champagne.. Boris.MARIA 79. Boris smiles and nods -. je te presente Monsieur McCoy.although he doesn't understand a word they're saying. He's defective. Sherman approaches.)O( 201 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Watch. (CONTINUED) . 4/26/90 ANGLE . You see? head. MARIA It went right over his * SHERMAN Maria. Sherman. unexpected is happening. 201 talking in French to BORIS KARLEVSKOV. Something very. I need to talk to you. MARIA I mean he doesn't speak any English. Look at him. MARIA Boris. no.Rev. He's going to take Arabs to Mecca on airplanes. darling. but keep smiling. voila Boris Karlevskov.

80. 201 CONTINUED: SHERMAN (with a social grin) I'm going to be arrested in the morning. MARIA Of course, the airplanes are all from Israel... SHERMAN By the police, I imagine. MARIA He'll make a fortune. SHERMAN I don't think it will be too bad. My lawyer -- if you can call him that -- has received assurances that it will all be handled in an orderly fashion. MARIA He called me a whore today. Right in front of the servants. I mean, really. How does he expect me to run the house if he humiliates me in front of the help? Yes. Well. SHERMAN You have a point. What are we 201

MARIA I'm sorry, Sherman. talking about?

SHERMAN The other guy has come forward. He says I was driving the car. I'm going to be arrested tomorrow morning. I need to know from you ... I mean, what do you want me to say? MARIA Oh, Sherman, what...?! But MRS. BAVARDAGE swirls up to them and whisks the now terrified Maria away. MRS. BAVARDAGE Maria, darling, I need your advice about something. My designer has gone bonkers about jabots and chintz. (MORE) (CONTINUED)

81. 201 CONTINUED: (2) MRS. BAVARDAGE (CONT'D) Jabots and chintz, jabots and chintz everywhere, everywhere! As she leaves with Maria, she grabs Aubrey Buffing and steers him toward Sherman. MRS. BAVARDAGE Sherman, have you met Aubrey Buffing? He has AIDS. SHERMAN Uh... AUBREY (shakes Sherman's hand again) Like so many of us now, with death and retribution waiting for us. Yet we go on whirling about each other... Sherman is looking past Aubrey. 202 HIS POV - MARIA goes to Arthur, whispers something in his ear. They leave quickly. For a brief moment, she looks back at... 203 ANGLE - SHERMAN walking with Aubrey, trying to see where Maria went. AUBREY We are unable to stop, until death itself takes us into his arms and burns us with the fever of living, dragging us like Don Juan into the bonfires of hell. The words of the ghost ringing in our ears... 'Repent! Repent!' CUT TO: 204 thru 206 207 OMITTED 204 * thru 206 * 207 203 He sees... 202 201

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - SHERMAN - DAWN comes out of the building and stands waiting as the rain pours down on this bleak day. A police car pulls up. Sherman gets inside.

208 & 209

OMITTED

208 & 209

82. 210 INT. POLICE CAR - KILLIAN, MARTIN, GOLDBERG - DAWN MARTIN 'Morning, Mr. McCoy. As Sherman climbs into the back seat... MARTIN Be careful of your clothes. My kid got all this Styrofoam shit back there. They stick to your clothes. KILLIAN How do you feel? SHERMAN Top notch. Look. You said this was just a formality. No problem. KILLIAN They promised me. 210

SHERMAN I told Maria. I saw her last night. In case we need her. KILLIAN That explains it. She left the country this morning. You know some Italian painter named Filippo Sharutti, something like that? I don't know. SHERMAN Why?

KILLIAN I think your girl friend found a new boyfriend. SHERMAN But... KILLIAN It's not going to be so bad. This is routine. I talked to Andruitti again last night. He promised me. We'll be in and out of there. No problem. Nobody is ever going to know it happened. MARTIN We got to cuff him. KILLIAN What for? (CONTINUED)

Slowly. 5/8/90 CONTINUED: MARTIN The zone captain is gonna be there. 215 ANGLE . CUT TO: 83.)R( 210 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Jed Kramer is there.MORNING A line of men near a little metal door and a crowd of 50 people standing in the rain.Rev.SCENE as this mob of reporters and cameramen attack the car in the pouring rain. They turn their heads toward the car and then they start moving. Very still. close to the curb where.SIDE ENTRANCE . He promised no bullshit. What the fuck?! What press?! I talked to Ray last night. CRIMINAL COURT BUILDING . Weiss gave the order this morning. KILLIAN Wait a minute. 215 KILLIAN What's going on here?! 214 . Peter peers into the car. But Peter is buried in the onslaught before he can say another word. at first.. 213 POLICE CAR pulls up containing Sherman. too. 211 * 212 212 ANGLE . 210 211 EXT. PETER You don't know me but I'm. racing toward the car.PETER FALLOW off by himself. walking.. KILLIAN Somebody is going to pay for this.. And the press. running.CROWD near the door to the building comes alive. 214 ANGLE . 213 PETER Excuse me. Mister McCoy? Don't talk. MARTIN This is Weiss..

CAR . Sherman. SOMEONE sticks a camera into Sherman's face. Sherman and Goldberg VOICES You ever been arrested before? Who's the brunette? What were you doing in the Bronx? Why didn't you stop. CAR .MORNING GOLDBERG Jesus Christ! Get out and get that door open or we'll never get him out of the fucking car. Don't cover your face.MARTIN AND KILLIAN help Sherman out of the car and all hell breaks loose. Now listen. SHERMAN I'm going to jail. shitface. Goldberg swings at a camera and knocks it down. how you going to plead? Peter Fallow falls to the ground. Sherman! here! SOMEONE Hey. Martin and Killian try to push through the mob. 216 INT. (CONTINUED) . VOICE Hey. Sherman? Sherman! This way! This way! How's your wife taking this. You don't say anything. Don't hang your head.84. You don't even know they're there. Put the cuffs on him. MARTIN Bullshit reigns. puts cuffs on Sherman. Over 217 Goldberg 216 * Goldberg. Aren't I? KILLIAN Let me get out first. Killian climbs over Sherman. Sherman? A microphone is shoved into Sherman's face. Okay? SHERMAN I'm going to jail. 217 EXT. step on him as they push ahead. Martin goes.

Give us a little something. give us a break. 217 218 ANGLE .Rev. Killian is being left outside. you fucking racist. KILLIAN (screaming over the noise of the mob) Don't make any statements! Don't talk to anybody. Killian.SHERMAN assaulted by cameras. fuckhead! How do you like this cocktail party? Why'd you hit him? Give us a statement.. If I have anything to say about it. KRAMER You may have a long wait. too. Come on.PETER FALLOW pulls himself up off the ground. * . hurt. His pants drop to his 220 221 Sherman removes his shoelaces and drops them on a table. Kramer. microphones and people as he is pushed through the metal door.)X( 217 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . 7/12/90 CONTINUED: VOICES How much did you make last year? Hey. Yeah? KILLIAN Fuck you. 218 219 ANGLE . hips. especially in the pens! I'll be upstairs when they bring you up for arraignment. Kramer is enjoying all this.. Mr. The contents of Sherman's pockets are laid on the table. 85. Sherman removes his belt. He is more dazed than 219 220 221 OMITTED QUICK CUTS A) B) C) D) Sherman's cuffs are removed. Sherman.

Look . GOLDBERG Slow. 85A. Slow. The B222 GOLDBERG Whoa. Martin approaches. ALARM SOUNDS. GOLDBERG Okay. Come here. shuffles backwards through the gate.Rev. Bend over. Martin.SHERMAN'S FEET coming out of his shoes as he tries to walk. Goldberg jumps up and down and claps his hands with delight.)X( A222 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Hey. Slow. little farther. Sherman bends over at a ninety-degree angle and. Just bend over at the waist and back through the gate. A222 * B222 ANGLE . Sherman looks terrified. the ALARM SOUNDS. GOLDBERG What the fuck? Wait a minute. Whoa.SHERMAN walking through a metal detection gate. Real slow. Little farther. (CONTINUED) GOLDBERG Come here. A little farther. Okay. The ALARM SOUNDS Sherman walks back through the gate. Give me your coat.. again. As Sherman's head goes through the gate. holding up his trousers. at this.. Do that again. Real slow. Sherman. 7/12/90 ANGLE . GOLDBERG I ain't going to touch you. Try it again. Little farther.

the ALARM SOUNDS again. Set of teeth look like a change-maker. It's his head. GOLDBERG They ever let you on an airplane? Laughter.SHERMAN'S HANDS being fingerprinted. You want to see some metal? MARTIN Jesus Christ. Open your mouth.Rev. When finally his head reaches the gate. D222 ANGLE . CUT TO: C222 ANGLE . D222 C222 .SHERMAN being photographed. 7/12/90 CONTINUED: 85B. Sherman opens his mouth. B222 * Sherman repeats the humiliating action. GOLDBERG Look in there. Goldberg grabs his jaw and angles it toward the light.)X( B222 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . GOLDBERG It's his head! Swear to Christ.

He turns to look back. The door bangs shut. * 222 is led quickly toward the cells. Killian is next to him. COURTROOM . 225 ANGLE . His shoes flop. McCoy. the look in his eyes.. 224 ANGLE . Nothing. SHERMAN Hmn? What? JUDGE WHITE We want to know how you plead to the charges. Then the sound of FEET SHUFFLING.SHERMAN 86. He staggers toward the bench.DAY is facing Judge White. JUDGE WHITE You're what? (CONTINUED) Kramer 226 225 224 223 .DAY (LATER) is calling out. BACON AND ANNIE LAMB seated in the front row of the spectators. 226 ANGLE .CLERK .OFFICER opens a side door. his clothing. Sherman appears.REV.SHERMAN .. SHERMAN I am sorry. you know the charges that are being brought against you. CUT TO: 223 INT. We wait. He looks like a man who has been dragged through hell -. Finally. Sherman is pushed inside.)X( 222 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .Rev. A cell door opens. is representing the District Attorney's office. 7/12/90 ANGLE . he trips and almost falls. CLERK Sherman McCoy. JUDGE WHITE Mr.his body. his pants sag.

)J( 226 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .. KRAMER Given the emotions of the community.000... KILLIAN Your Honor. SPECTATORS No bail! No bail! Lock him up! Bang it shut! KRAMER We do not believe it will serve the interests of justice to allow this defendant to go free on a token bail.... KILLIAN Just shut up..Rev. not guilty. SHERMAN I repent all the sins of my past life. SHERMAN For my life. the defendant is under extreme stress. JUDGE WHITE Bail has been set at $10. look at. (CONTINUED) 227 * ... Kramer knows very well. He pleads not guilty... Mr. 226 227 ANOTHER ANGLE Press and spectators are already buzzing out of control. For everything. Defendant Sherman turns to 87. KILLIAN Your Honor. 4/25/90 CONTINUED: SHERMAN I am very sorry. I am truly sorry. KILLIAN Just say. Please forgive me. pleads not guilty! Sudden commotion in the courtroom. I repent. Sherman. KRAMER Your Honor....

Bail has already been agreed to.)J( 227 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . 88.000.. Kramer. Weiss himself has instructed me to request bail in the amount of $250. JUDGE WHITE (bangs the gavel) Quiet! Where the hell do you think you are?! KRAMER I have a petition from the community with an appeal to the District Attorney that justice be done. your action will do irreparable damage not only to the People's case. SPECTATORS (cheering and applauding) Yeah! Yeah! Tell him! Tell him! Tell him! JUDGE WHITE If your office has information bearing upon the bail status of this case.000. 227 * * * * (CONTINUED) . Now get this side show out of my court. Until then... But to the cause of the people as well. Cash.. And Mr. KRAMER It ill-behooves the criminal justice system. JUDGE WHITE Mr.. The Spectators are booing and yelling at Killian to shut up. KRAMER . 4/25/90 CONTINUED: KILLIAN This is patent nonsense. I instruct you to make a formal application.. I am releasing Mr.. Kramer. JUDGE WHITE Mr.Rev. KRAMER Your Honor. I have spoken. McCoy under a bond in the amount of $10..

Park Avenue -. As they pass. television people. 228B ANGLE .Tear you a new one -. I began to appreciate the power.PETER FALLOW . 4/25/90 CONTINUED: (2) JUDGE WHITE Kindly behoove me no ill-behooves!!! KRAMER Your Honor.Rev.. He is drunk.. All of it. Sherman McCoy had been swept away from me. baby! 228 CLOSE ON SHERMAN who is humiliated. screaming and booing and chanting.. He is still covered with mud from having been trampled earlier. Before I could even speak to him.Say your prayers. He takes a long swig from a bottle wrapped in a paper bag. Kramer.O. CROWD Murderer! Motherfucker! -.LATE AFTERNOON is sitting on the steps of the courthouse. And as the day progressed.Count every breath. etc. the court directs you to shut up!!! 89. JUDGE WHITE Mr. needlenose! -.... No bail! CROWD Put him in jail! Killian grabs Sherman and pulls him toward the exit. They run up the steps past Peter as they head toward the entrance to the courthouse.. 227 * * The crowd goes crazy.You mine. The court officers form a wedge to help them through the screaming mob. the magnitude of the force that had been unleashed by my little story. PETER (V. 228A EXT. VOICES It's over! He's coming out! go! Let's go! Let's 228B 228A * 228 ..)J( 227 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .) It was too much for me.MOVING CROWD of reporters. photographers. COURTHOUSE .

Well.O.. Enough is enough..? PETER I know that. PETER Jesus Christ. I was finished..) Jackels. 228C ANGLE . PETER (V. do you know where I can find a taxi? 228D ANGLE TO INCLUDE SHERMAN MCCOY who has just come out the side entrance of the building. Peter is flabbergasted. Yes.. As they go. and starts moving in the opposite direction.. 228E ANGLE . pulls himself up. PETER Come on. (CONTINUED) Fallow grabs Sherman 228F 228E .) Excuse me. SHERMAN (O.CROWD OF REPORTERS change direction and start moving away from the front entrance and toward the side entrance. PETER You need to get out of here. I know. are you. SHERMAN Sherman McCoy. This way.90. And I was one of them. I summoned what little dignity I had left and decided to go home.FALLOW AND SHERMAN see the mob moving toward them.S.. let them have it. Dogs. What 228D 228C SHERMAN I need a taxi. Yapping at the heels of their prey. and pulls him toward a subway.PETER dodges the onslaught. VOICES The other way! Other way! He's coming out the back! Move! Move! Move! 228F ANGLE .

But we don't really have a choice. SHERMAN No. They do. They enter the subway.DAY Sherman is dazed.SHERMAN AND PETER . PETER Are you alright? Oh..91. (CONTINUED) I should * . go. SHERMAN That's alright. Thanks. you were very helpful. 228G INT. I owe you an apology. Sherman looks with some caution at the bottle in the paper bag. I'll get you home... I don't normally ride the subway. PETER Would you like a drink? I happen to have a little something. fine. fragile. still in shock... SHERMAN Yes. He looks very 228G 228F PETER Look. PETER Look. Especially on a first date. PETER You don't know who I am. Sit down. Just sit down a minute.. Peter offers Sherman his bottle. PETER Me either. thanks. SUBWAY CAR . 228F CONTINUED: SHERMAN Uh. PETER Go where? SHERMAN Well.

He looks around the SHERMAN Does this train go anywhere near Park Avenue? PETER Not in a million years. 228G PETER Go on. * * * * SHERMAN I think. But he didn't live in the South Bronx. They laugh again. What are they going to do? Arrest you? Sherman smiles and takes a drink. Did he? SHERMAN No. PETER Yeah. It's a rough crowd. PETER You look like shit. No. SHERMAN I'm alright. (CONTINUED) . PETER Take it easy. I pissed in my pants. They both laugh. SHERMAN My father took the subway every day of his life. And you smell. SHERMAN I can't think. SHERMAN I look terrible. too. Sherman gets caught somewhere between laughing and crying. PETER Yeah. 228G CONTINUED: Uh. He starts to lose control.92. Fuck it. when I was in the jail. SHERMAN Thanks. car.

PETER AND SHERMAN . and all the facts were wrong. TUNNEL . 4/26/90 CONTINUED: (2) It's okay.. SUBWAY CAR . remains in the car. total disregard for the truth. 228-I* 228H * SHERMAN . Like they know me. You'll be right on Lexington Avenue. when it happened. Why do they do this? PETER This is you. You're just dinner. Newspapers. SHERMAN I should have called the police right away. 228G Sherman takes a long drink.LATE AFTERNOON CLATTERS through the darkness.Rev. people I don't even know. SHERMAN They call me by my first name..)O( 228G BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . lawyers. I wasn't driving the car. this Peter Fallow person.nobody is even going to remember what they ate.TRAIN . PETER What?! (CONTINUED) Peter . The car stops. 228H INT. PETER Have another drink. How did I get to be so important? PETER You're not important. PETER How do you mean? SHERMAN I mean. Like they own me. But I couldn't you see? It wasn't really my decision. police. and then this newspaper thing started. Sherman steps onto the platform. You know what I mean? And a week from now. a month -. 93. 228-I INT. Sherman looks back at him. Sherman is slightly drunk.LATE AFTERNOON as the car slows down.

. them.ELEVATOR DOORS open and suddenly we are in the midst of. don't let the newspapers get you down. Most of the guests are recognizable from the previous party at the museum. Sherman is shocked. But before he can get his bearings.DEMONSTRATORS .NIGHT are marching up and down in front of Sherman's apartment building. 233 ANGLE . ELEVATOR .SHERMAN stops near the building. my boy. 4/18/90 228-I CONTINUED: The doors to the train start to close. 230 ANGLE . Among them are five very tall black men playing with a basketball. 231 232 OMITTED INT. He seems to stoop slightly under the weight of his humiliation. Great to see you. As Sherman moves through * * * * * * * * 234 233 NUNNALLY VOYD Sherman.. He catches it. stop them. Whatever you do.NIGHT 231 232 230 229 228J looks like he feels -. 228-I Peter tries to PETER Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 228J ANGLE .PARTY in high gear. 94. slightly drunk. Everybody! It's Sherman! Bravo! Bravo! They all turn and applaud.Rev. BOBBY SHALFET Sherman! You sly fox. (CONTINUED) .. The basketball flies toward him. 234 ANGLE . 229 EXT.unclean. his clothes soiled. he enters through the service entrance.SHERMAN .BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES ... Before anyone sees him. torn and disheveled.CLOSE ON PETER as the doors close and the train pulls away. PARK AVENUE .. unshaven.

. Rawlie.. NUNNALLY VOYD Yes. No. 4/18/90 234 CONTINUED: MAN Fruit flies. But they always come back to the shit. * SHERMAN Excuse me. Don't they? WOMAN And I always thought of you as such a dull person. SHERMAN No. SHERMAN What? 95. 235 ANGLE . RAWLIE Gene asked me to come by. RAWLIE Sorry. Sherman.Rev. they run away..BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . You know. They hover over the faces. I didn't mean to interrupt anything. no. That's all they are. MAN WITH PONYTAIL Sherman. You take a swipe at them... SHERMAN Yeah. 234 * * MAN WITH PONYTAIL We'd have to play down the racial thing and try to make you a little more sympathetic. (CONTINUED) RAWLIE Gee. SHERMAN 235 . They swarm.RAWLIE THORPE approaches Sherman. Hi. I haven't really been able to talk to anybody.. has anybody talked to you about television? Uh. sympathetic.

I'm sorry. SHERMAN Well. Yes.. * * FOLLOW him INTO. I mean. 4/18/90 235 CONTINUED: RAWLIE He just wanted you to know. If you ever bothered to look at your calendar.. SHERMAN What is going on? 236 JUDY This is a dinner party. 96. they don't want you to come down. Sherman.. well.. SHERMAN Of course. Yes. KITCHEN . (CONTINUED) .. Excuse me. I mean. I should be down there in a day or so. you shouldn't come down.. RAWLIE Oh.. under the circumstances. I was sent to tell you. the firm feels. I mean. SHERMAN But Judy... 235 RAWLIE Jesus..SHERMAN finds Judy and Bonita putting dinner together. that won't be necessary. Oh. anything we can do.. It was planned weeks ago... I mean.. That's what I came to.. you don't have to. 236 INT. huh? RAWLIE Well. I see. But between all this and the way you handled Bernard on the Giscard deal... SHERMAN That's final. six hundred million.Rev.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .. Judy. I mean. SHERMAN Oh.

Me. (CONTINUED) 237 * * * * * * * * * . my darling. I am going to chair the museum benefit thanks to you and your escapades on the public airways. SALLY What am I saying? Of course it's a bad time. After the party. On television?! I'm sorry. I 97/98. I'm leaving you. Believe me. Sherman. On the other hand. SALLY Oh.. What can I say? Life goes on.saw it all on television. is this a bad time? SHERMAN I beg your pardon. heard it -. Now if you'll excuse me. she sees Judy leave. 237 ANGLE . Campbell. I know the whole story. we have guests. She leaves. I can only make the best of an absolutely appalling situation and carry on. 236 JUDY You betrayed us. SHERMAN I am. 4/18/90 236 CONTINUED: JUDY Yes. Sherman.TO INCLUDE SALLY RAWTHROTE as she sails into the kitchen. Even yourself. SHERMAN But can you forgive me? JUDY I suppose I can forgive anything. But I just wanted to see if I can be of any help..Rev.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . but not television.

SALLY No. SALLY Sally. If we act quickly this kind of opportunity doesn't come along every day. Excuse me.POLLARD BROWNING intercepting Sherman. Excuse me.. uh.. 237 CONTINUED: SHERMAN Well. follows. 238 237 INT. really. trying to avoid the guests.. is what I mean. SHERMAN Anyway. LIVING ROOM . That was before the Kittridges. SHERMAN The apartment? SALLY I find people often need to be as liquid as they can in these situations and I know I can get you seven-and-a-half right at this moment.it's the celebrity appeal. As he tries to make his way through the living room.... Pollard 239 (CONTINUED) .. You have to ride the wave..SHERMAN comes out of the kitchen. thank you. uh. I hope I'm not being out of place. 238 SHERMAN I have to. Maybe eight. Sherman keeps walking.. With the apartment. Fabled aristocratic tycoon -. SHERMAN Not at all. anything I can do. that's very kind of you.. SALLY You know I haven't been in this apartment since the McCleods had it. 239 ANGLE .99.

SHERMAN goes to the closet and pulls out the shotgun.. POLLARD I've been in touch with the co-op board. I speak as a friend. STUDY . we've known each other a long time. Double barrel. SHERMAN How are you? 239 POLLARD Sorry to interrupt your dinner. Twelve gauge. POLLARD Yes.. POLLARD Of course. And how do you pull the trigger.. and we want you to know you have our support. I read somewhere about a man who took off his shoe and pulled the trigger with his toe. FOLLOW them INTO. Hard to believe.100. 239 CONTINUED: Pollard. My father knew your father. Standing there in court. I have a gun. That's what I was thinking. (CONTINUED) 240 . Is that a gun? SHERMAN I wonder if I can get both barrels into my mouth. POLLARD Sherman. But also as president of the board.. most of them. well. Yes.. 240 INT. We went to Buckley together. This can't be a comfortable situation for you. Not at all. people calling my name. SHERMAN Here it is.. SHERMAN The more the merrier. SHERMAN And then I thought. at first I wanted to die. SHERMAN You know.

FOLLOW Sherman and Pollard OUT of the study TO.. Have you considered.. we're not asking you to do anything of a permanent nature. 240 CONTINUED: SHERMAN And where would I do it? would find me? Who 240 POLLARD Exactly. (CONTINUED) 241 . Yes. You want me to move out of my home?! The guests begin to listen to this exchange. changing residence until things quiet down? SHERMAN You want me to leave? POLLARD Well.. Look. POLLARD I understand that. But that doesn't alter the facts.. SHERMAN This is the only safe place I have.. 241 INT.... LIVING ROOM .. Pollard. POLLARD You are a shareholder in a cooperative. Black people with basketballs! You're putting everyone at risk. POLLARD There are people demonstrating in front of our building... SHERMAN This is my home. People are threatening my life. I have to protect myself. It's not your fault.101..SHERMAN AND POLLARD SHERMAN Alter the facts?! The facts are that I have no place else to go! And you want me to move out?! Is that what you're saying. He loads the gun and fills his pockets with shells.

SHERMAN Oh. The guests look confused. Sherman aims the GUN at the ceiling. Get out of my house! (CONTINUED) 242 . SHERMAN And you can start by moving out of this apartment right now. POLLARD I came here in good faith. People scream. Pollard. POLLARD I will have to enforce the provision concerning unacceptable situations. SHERMAN Another word out of you. Pollard. Pollard? If you're so fucking terrified! POLLARD Sherman. too.. Everyone watches as Sherman holds Pollard at gunpoint and steers him out of the room. He FIRES. they don't really believe him. 241 CONTINUED: SHERMAN Why don't you move out. you were a ridiculous fat blowhard at Buckley and you're a ridiculous fat blowhard now.. Out. 242 ANGLE . Sherman turns to face them.SHERMAN waves the smoking shotgun at them. EXPLOSION.102. please. and there's going to be an unacceptable situation right up your ass! Now march! The guests applaud. Out! Now! Sherman points the gun at Pollard. 241 * * SHERMAN And that goes for the rest of you. SHERMAN Out! Stinking lot of anorexic parasites. All of you.

Judy comes 103.. including Gerald Moore.Rev. But it wasn't. PETER (V.O. JUDY Say goodbye to Daddy.O.NIGHT who looks very depressed. Never! 242A thru 247 248 OMITTED 242A thru 247 248 * INT. SHERMAN Sherman McCoy is dead. LAMPS EXPLODE.) . 4/18/90 242 CONTINUED: He FIRES another SHOT. Campbell follows.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . I will never be Sherman McCoy again.. (CONTINUED) . 'Bye. just a few blocks away. Judy grabs her. Sherman McCoy of Park Avenue and Wall Street and Southampton -. PETER (V. I was being praised and congratulated. PULL BACK to include Peter surrounded by fawning packs of well-wishers.gone. CAMPBELL See you later. LEICESTER'S . running from the kitchen. plaster falls. The truth has a way of doing that. my little encounter with Sherman McCoy was spoiling everything. The room clears..CLOSE ON PETER . Daddy. It should have been a very triumphant yours truly at Leicester's. 242 SHERMAN Out of my house. Dead. Sherman reloads and keeps FIRING until everyone is gone.) That same evening. * * * * * * * JUDY (as they go) You can see him on television. out of my life! The DOG comes BARKING into the room. furniture splinters.

It makes us look better and better. CAROLINE Excuse me. 104. MOORE I want to give this story our full attention. 248 MAN He looks like a real killer. 4/18/90 248 CONTINUED: WOMAN Beautiful stuff. poor little fuzzy-wuzzy wogs. * * MOORE Yes. First rate. Peter. EVELYN Dinner.Rev. Peter makes excuses to Gerald and Evelyn and follows Caroline away.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . She is very drunk. Doesn't he? ANOTHER WOMAN You can see it in the photographs. You can see it in his chin. Peter. Shall we have Peter here come along with us? EVELYN Lovely. 249 250 OMITTED INT. Daddy. PETER Where's the phone? (CONTINUED) 249 250 .PETER AND CAROLINE . isn't he? I hope they throw the book at him. ANOTHER MAN Arrogant son a bitch.NIGHT come into the office. UPSTAIRS OFFICE . There's a phone call for you upstairs in the office. Evelyn Moore approaches Gerald. Peter. Gerald and Evelyn lead Peter toward the back dining room. this McCoy fellow. darling. Caroline Heftshank intercepts them. Poor little Lambs. the more we do for this Lamb family.

Caroline climbs up on the desk. you're absolutely soused. Her name is Maria Ruskin. Yes. PETER Yes. isn't that dangerous? Or at least unsanitary? CAROLINE Shut up. CAROLINE Well. Caroline. Peter. She drops them on the floor. Filippo has run off with a little slut you should know about.. You're not listening. PETER Listen. But I'm going to tell you something.Rev. I wanted to see you alone. I do.. I'm going to do you a favor. Peter. lifts her skirt and sits down on the Xerox machine. PETER Caroline. PETER Caroline. Filippo. (MORE) (CONTINUED) * . CAROLINE You don't deserve this.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . PETER Don't tell me I'm finally going to get into your panties. I'm sort of with some people tonight. which starts PHOTOCOPYING her twat. Franco or Federico. darling. CAROLINE The little shit. 4/18/90 250 CONTINUED: CAROLINE I lied. 105. She switches ON the MACHINE. 250 * * * She reaches under her skirt and pulls off her panties. Do you remember my pretty little Italian friend? The painter. CAROLINE Relax.

Now I've lost the apartment and the boyfriend. They were trying to prove that I wasn't living there. But I'm trusting you to find them.ARTHUR RUSKIN seated at a table as Peter approaches. 4/18/90 250 CONTINUED: (2) CAROLINE (CONT'D) She was subletting my apartment. (CONTINUED) 253 251 252 . And. Caroline looks at the Xerox copy. PETER You're joking. 253 ANGLE . as it turns out. Give them this.DAY points Fallow toward Arthur Ruskin's table. RESTAURANT . 250 * PETER But how do you know all this? CAROLINE The apartment was bugged.Rev.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . 251 252 OMITTED INT. Tell them this is the little lady who turned them in.. Which I wasn't. Peter leaves. She was also subletting Filippo. 106. she was also in the car with Sherman McCoy when the accident happened. And when you do. CAROLINE Maybe I should advertise. The Maitre d' seats them side by side on a banquette.. CAROLINE She was in the car. I never joke. She takes one of the Xerox copies and hands it to Peter.MAITRE D' . MAITRE D' Monsieur Ruskin is already here. PETER You don't know where they are? CAROLINE No. They had a wire in the intercom.

But I love a sidecar.' And. there are some great hotels in Lake Como. It was Willi Nordhoff introduced me to them. there's no hurry. You're on the City Light? PETER Uh. 4/18/90 253 CONTINUED: PETER Arthur. (to waiter) Give me a Couvoisier V.S.. 253 * ARTHUR Italy. she's in Italy. ARTHUR Good. So Maria is in Italy. I like that.P. ARTHUR Peter Fallow? PETER Yes. ARTHUR (a lament) My wife! My wife! I'm glad she's not here. yes.Rev.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . No. PETER Well. We're calling it the 'New Tycoons.. by the 107. Put it in a sidecar. We've never met but I'm a good friend of. Good. So.. Thanks for meeting me on such short notice. Where abouts? ARTHUR She's in Lake Como someplace. way? PETER Uh. Yes. naturally. New tycoons. Every time I turn around. your wife. And we're doing a little profile piece. So what do you want to know? PETER Oh.O. we thought of you. where is Maria. Otherwise I couldn't have a drink.. I'm not supposed to drink. Is she at the Excelsior? (CONTINUED) .

she's young. We should order. 107A. PETER I'd like to talk to her. 4/18/90 253 CONTINUED: (1A) ARTHUR What do I know? I just pay the bills. I know what goes on.. She needs young people. If I could. Well. too. I don't have too much time.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . 253 * * * (CONTINUED) .Rev.. If I could get in touch with her. I'm not stupid.

ARTHUR . What do you want to eat? 254 ANGLE .. I was there. ARTHUR Anyway. Excuse my language. They won't travel without their animals. And then it dawns on me. We had to put plastic in the cabins. they're picking up their luggage and their animals and they're looking out the window at the little fire that started on the wing and they're waiting for the doors to open like nothing happened. ARTHUR They think this is the way you stop an airplane. but she's a lot of pussy to handle.LATER are bringing the main course to the table. they urinate. We're going into Mecca. I'll give you her number. Panic. Peter is bored silly. 253 CONTINUED: (2) ARTHUR Call the office.108. one of these jackass pilots. goats. But the best is just a few weeks ago. You know. they defecate. PETER Yes.sheep. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 254 253 . he lands long and the plane goes off the runway. the plane goes off the runway and we hit the sand with a hell of a jolt and the right wing tip digs into the sand and the plane skids around in a circle! 360 degrees before we stop! We're scared shitless. And we look into the cabin and there's everybody calm. I always said it as a compliment. chickens.. Arthur is guzzling wine as he talks. And the plane is full of Arabs and all these animals -. see.WAITERS . They think this is normal! He starts to laugh as he talks. I was on the plane. quiet.. She's something..

109. Arthur drops forward suddenly.well. The Maitre d' gives orders to the waiters. Arthur? PETER Arthur? 254 He tries to signal a waiter. MAITRE D' (annoyed) Freddy? Attention. MAITRE D' (very disappointed) Oh. And then his head drops forward and he slumps against Peter. Some people notice. (coughing as he laughs harder and harder) What do they know? They never rode in an airplane. Oh. They think this is how you do it! Peter tries to laugh with Arthur. But Arthur's coughing turns into a spasm. He seems to be humming. The Maitre d' approaches the table. PETER Mr. Oh. dear. A MAN approaches Peter. Ruskin seems to have suffered some kind of -. 254 CONTINUED: ARTHUR (CONT'D) You stick one wing in the sand and you spin around until you stop. Waiter!!! PETER Hello? Excuse me. in general. I don't know. his face hitting his plate. the activity in the room continues. Arthur slips off his plate and falls onto the floor. s'il vous plait! Two waiters help the Maitre d' pull the table out. (CONTINUED) . PETER I think you'd better call someone. A woman at the next table squeals. Excuse me. dear. He pushes his head back against the banquette. dear. But.

110. 254 CONTINUED: (2) MAN Is he choking? Let me give him the Heimlich maneuver. MAITRE D' Excuse me, Monsieur Roberts. You are not a doctor. And there are legal complications. MR. ROBERTS Yes, I see, but... MAITRE D' For your own protection and mine and my restaurant, we leave Monsieur Ruskin in the hands of God and we go back to our escargots. PETER Well, somebody has to do something. Peter tries to perform the Heimlich maneuver on Ruskin. MAITRE D' We have called the police. An ambulance is coming. There is nothing more we can do. Would you like some coffee or dessert? MR. ROBERTS (to Peter) Gee, buddy. I think he's dead. Peter lets go of Ruskin. dead. Eh, voila. PETER Jesus. MAITRE D' (drops a card in front of Peter) L'addition, s'il vous plait. PETER What? MAITRE D' The bill, monsieur. Thank you. And we do not accept credit cards. Ruskin slides to the floor -254

MAITRE D'

BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES - Rev. 4/18/90 255 EXT. AIRPORT - 747 - DUSK is landing. 256 INT. AIRPORT - MARIA - DUSK comes out of Customs. veil over her face. 257 ANGLE - FALLOW approaches her. They walk as they talk... PETER Mrs. Ruskin? MARIA Yes? PETER My name is Peter Fallow. I just wanted to offer my sympathy. MARIA (through tears) How very kind. Did you know Arthur? PETER Ah, well, yes. I was actually quite close to him when he died. MARIA I've reprobated myself over and over again for being away... PETER You shouldn't. 258 EXT. TERMINAL - MARIA AND PETER - DUSK move toward Maria's waiting limousine. MARIA Well, thank you for the kind words. I must go now. PETER Yes. Just one other thing. I understand you're a friend of Sherman McCoy. MARIA I'm sorry...?

111. 255 *

256

*

She is wearing black and has a 257

258

*

(CONTINUED)

112. 258 CONTINUED: PETER Yes. I gather you were not only in the car with him when he had his unfortunate accident in the Bronx. But I understand you were driving. Maria turns and looks at him -- hard and cold. MARIA Sherman would never tell you that. PETER I was hoping you might tell me exactly what happened that night. MARIA Look, Mr.... Mr.... PETER Fallow. MARIA ... Peckerhead. I am here for my husband's funeral. Understand? Now go away. Disappear. Disintegrate. She gets into the car. He smiles. 259 259A OMITTED EXT. HOSPITAL - NEWSSTAND - DAY The headline on the City Lights reads: "FINANCIER'S WIDOW IS MCCOY MYSTERY WOMAN" 259B INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - HENRY LAMB - DAY is lying in a coma -- a beatific smile on his face. 259C ANGLE TO INCLUDE FOX, BACON, ANNIE LAMB AND PETER FALLOW 259C around the bed. FOX What kind of muckracking yellow journalist are you!? You print a story like this without so much as a by-your-leave to me or to Reverend Bacon here! Who the hell do you think you are. (CONTINUED) 259B Fallow watches the car pull away. 259 259A 258

*

And you are confusing the issue! Do you understand me?! PETER Alright. isn't it. You see? It's the hospital that's the guilty party.Rev. 4/18/90 259C CONTINUED: ANNIE (tearfully) Please. But Christ. Albert. FOX Right here. can't just let it go. And I can almost prove it. alright. He gestures toward Henry Lamb. this is a great story. And it's also the truth! BACON It's a little late for you to start telling the truth. I So what?! 113. This is my exclusive. Pete? PETER I can't just drop this now. 259C * (CONTINUED) . That is what we have been working toward all this time. PETER Look.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . That is our case! That is the lawsuit that we are going to bring against this hospital. FOX So what?! So what?! This is our case. you have to keep your voices down. PETER The hospital?! What are you talking about? FOX A young man comes in here with a cerebral concussion and they treat him for a broken wrist. don't you understand? It is very possible that Sherman McCoy was not driving that car.

BACON That's right. I feel that the presentation of my person should be carefully designed. I think I should have the right wardrobe. We'll take care of you. I promise you. Don't worry. And although I should probably continue to live in that shithole of an apartment at least until after the lawsuit is settled. other exclusives. I would like to start looking now for a co-op in Manhattan -. yes. I been worried about my clothes for instance. Annie starts to weep. too.for me and my son -. I know that nothing can heal the wound that you have suffered. So if you could have Mr.Rev. Pause as they all look at her. ANNIE Well. You take care of us and we'll take care of you. FOX Why certainly. that's going to be a very profitable relationship for all of us. Suddenly. Peter. As a model to black mothers everywhere. There's gonna be other stories.something with a view of the river and preferably in a neighborhood that is at least upwardly mobile. ANNIE I'll need some furniture. But ten million dollars in damages will certainly make your grief more comfortable. You're our boy. Reverend. And a new refrigerator. Fox's limousine pick me up in the morning. I could do some shopping. thank you.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . I could use a few things. 259C * . 4/18/90 259C CONTINUED: (2) FOX Sure you can. 114. BACON Annie.

DAY The headline reads: "CITY LIGHT EXCLUSIVE DID NEGLIGENT HOSPITAL SLAUGHTER LAMB?" * PETER (V. the room is dark. Well.)O( 260 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Andriutti and Kramer are with him..) So I printed their little story.O. 115. you asshole. 260 260A thru 262A 262B OMITTED 260A thru 262A * 262B INT. (CONTINUED) . KRAMER It is terrible. Imagine using a terrible tragedy like this for your own selfish motives. sir.Rev.. * The shades are drawn. You see? All they want is money. why not? Why not be the best whore in the house? And anyway. I was beginning to see even greater possibilities in my situation.O. Yes. 4/26/90 CLOSE ON PETER PETER (V. WEISS Shut up.) How could I turn my back on the plight of this grief stricken woman? How could I turn my back on a 'profitable relationship'? I was touched to the depths of what was left of my soul. Weiss sits at his desk.CLOSE ON NEWSPAPER . sir. WEISS'S OFFICE . WEISS (quietly) Now they're going to sue the hospital. and my bank account. KRAMER Yes.

CUT TO: A262B EXT.if she is willing to cooperate.DAY Approaching the building. she faces possible charges. WEISS What are you waiting for? 116. you go talk to her!!! As Kramer exits. 4/26/90 CONTINUED: WEISS What's happening to my case? The People versus Sherman McCoy? Where is my issue? Where is my cause? Where is my hope? ANDRIUTTI I think we better talk to this Mrs..)O( 262B BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Wise-Guy-Know-It-AllShitface. Mr. Go on. Ruskin. You tell them we're going to question the woman. lay it on. then we will grant her immunity. go.. ANDRIUTTI Alright. A262B * * * * . But. WEISS You go to the press. etcetera. WEISS (exploding) I don't care if today is her mother's bar mitzvah. you're going to get us out. if she will say what we want her to say.) . you're the one got us into this. and if she is the woman who was in the car.FALLOW . 262B KRAMER Well today is her husband's funeral.Rev. etcetera. KRAMER Yes. sir. you tell her she's in a whole lot of trouble. but -. APARTMENT HOUSE (59TH ST. You go to this broad. WEISS And you. but.

" The door opens. We recognize the workman who was fixing the intercom in Maria's apartment. HALLWAY . A great book. PETER (V.O. PETER (V. ten minutes.) (on tape) The airport.O. Leach opens the door wide and Fallow steps into the apartment. I had the makings of a book here.. It was more than a story. A prize winning effort. All I needed was a big finish. What do you say? 262G ANGLE TO INCLUDE SHERMAN AND KILLIAN SHERMAN That's us! That's me! That's Maria! How did you get this? (CONTINUED) 262G 262 thru 262E 262F . SHERMAN (V. Leach? LEACH Yeah? PETER I understand you been doing some creative wiring in this building.) So I shipped off a little present to Sherman McCoy's lawyer and I waited for the fireworks. 4/18/90 B262B INT.oh.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .. the TAPE PLAYS.. Peter and Leach continue talking.O.Rev. I have a car coming in -.) Where are you going? MARIA (V. As the door closes. McCOY APARTMENT .FALLOW 117.) In less than three minutes. We have time for a quickie. B262B * Is knocking on a door that has a sign reading "Superintendant. God. 262C thru 262E 262F INT. I told you..CLOSE ON CASSETTE PLAYER Killian's hand flips the switch.O. I had what I was looking for. PETER Mr.

4/18/90 262G CONTINUED: Shhh! KILLIAN Listen.) (on tape) And put our heads right into the horse's mouth? I'm the one who was driving the car. SHERMAN You mean the apartment was wired -. MARIA (V. Killian switches off the machine. it would be legal.O. 118. SHERMAN Then we have this as evidence. SHERMAN (V. 262G Killian lets the tape fast forward. But there is no way that this tape can be used as evidence in a court of law.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . No. It's an illegal tape. Whoever sent me this tape is either a big fan of yours or a not so big fan of Maria Ruskin. Totally illegal. 'my tape'? KILLIAN Well. Trust me.all that time? KILLIAN Yeah..Rev. KILLIAN No. Then. no. I checked it all out. But it's not. We could get a very talented lawyer. SHERMAN Then what good is it? (CONTINUED) * * * * * * .. if you were wired and you recorded your own conversation that would be okay.. Now if this were your tape. Sherman.. SHERMAN What do you mean.bugged -. The guy who did this could go to jail for this.) (on tape) I suppose we could still go to the police.O. Don't you think I'm the one who should make the decision? And I say.

stop her and offer condolences. (CONTINUED) . hiding near a doorway that leads into an adjacent "family room.)R( 262G BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . FOLLOW Maria INTO: 269D 269E INT. 262G 263 264 OMITTED EXT." As Maria passes.MARIA . FUNERAL PARLOR . FUNERAL PARLOR (MADISON AVENUE) .DAY dressed in black enters and walks down the aisle.SHERMAN wearing dark glasses and a raincoat. Among those arriving.Rev. 269D ANGLE .KRAMER comes into the chapel.SHERMAN closes the door as Maria enters. he signals her. 265 thru 269A 269B OMITTED 265 thru 269A 269B People 269C * INT. we see Jed Kramer. SHERMAN An idea about what? KILLIAN An idea about what to wear when you go to this funeral. 5/8/90 CONTINUED: (2) KILLIAN It gave me an idea. Sherman! here? MARIA Whatever are you doing 269E SHERMAN I'm sorry. I have to talk to you. SHERMAN What funeral? 119. CRYPTS . 269C ANGLE . Maria.DAY 263 264 A procession of limousines pushing through a crowd of press and bystanders to deposit the mourners at the front door.

I had nothing to do with that. Sherman.Rev. here we are.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Well. 269E (CONTINUED) . 4/18/90 269E CONTINUED: (A1) MARIA You seem to be doing all your talking to the newspapers these days. 120. MARIA I see. We didn't want your name in the papers any more than you did. The couple that all New York is talking about. And we're not even a couple anymore. SHERMAN Believe me.

MARIA Oh. it certainly isn't me. And if anybody does know. SHERMAN But you were driving the car that night.121.. but you could start by telling the police what really happened. Sherman. She embraces him. 269E CONTINUED: SHERMAN I thought you'd run out on me. there's something about funerals that is so stimulating. Not anymore. Sherman. My panties have been wet all morning. I didn't even know where you went. please. you are the sweetest thing. Sherman. Maria. trying to protect you. She kisses him again. Would I do that to you? Sherman. MARIA But how can I help you? SHERMAN Well. 269E * . Sherman takes both her hands and pulls them to his chest.. MARIA What are we going to do with you? SHERMAN You have to help me. Sherman. Isn't it funny how a little thing like that can slip your mind? (she kisses him) God. And I was left sort of holding the bag. her hands moving toward the hidden recorder. But I'm not sure anybody knows what really happened. MARIA Oh. I know this may sound like a strange request. MARIA Was I? I don't remember. SHERMAN Maria.

KRAMER is moving around. sits at the piano and launches into a totally inappropriate rendition of "September in the Rain. CRYPTS . 122. VIEWING ROOM .)O( 270 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .Rev. SHERMAN Maria.KRAMER . 271 272 ANGLE . 4/26/90 INT. 273 274 INT. Nothing. 270 271 ANGLE ...MARIA . He remains "hunched" over. in accordance with the wishes of Mr. MARIA Then why are you all hunched over? Her hands slide down his back. trying to find Maria..S.DIRECTOR is still at the microphone. MARIA Sherman.) . HALLWAY ." 272 273 ANGLE ..DAY 275 * is trying to embrace Sherman. we have to talk. trying to stay away from her and keep her hands off his back. DIRECTOR (O. Ruskin. Sherman.KRAMER leaving the viewing room. Manny Leerman will play a medley of Arthur's favorite songs. what's this on your back? SHERMAN My what? (CONTINUED) MARIA What's wrong with you? SHERMAN . DIRECTOR And now.DAY looking from room to room.MANNY LEERMAN A lounge singer in a pale blue suit hops onto the stage. 274 275 INT.

Isn't there? SHERMAN Don't be silly. As he spins around.my belt.) Mrs.. KRAMER (O. but you gave me no choice. She rips open his shirt. They freeze. dishonest bastard! SHERMAN Maria. Sherman yelps in pain. More pain.. are you crazy! And a wire! MARIA A wire! 275 She pulls the wire. (CONTINUED) . MARIA You are secreting something on your body! SHERMAN Maria. SHERMAN Eeeooowww!!! MARIA You rotten.123. belt buckle. SHERMAN Maria.S. this piece of metal. Ruskin. MARIA You don't have a belt buckle in the back. MARIA I want to see what it is. A KNOCK at the door. 275 CONTINUED: MARIA This lump. Maria grabs the tapedeck and pulls it off his back. this thing on your back?! SHERMAN I don't know -. I didn't want to do this. There's some sort of subterfuge afoot here.

)R( 275 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . MARIA My. Maria. 124. The door flies open. Never. my.KRAMER .. But you have got to help me.S.. You have got to do the right thing..Rev. McCoy. KRAMER Who?! MARIA Sherman McCoy! (CONTINUED) 277 . LIVING ROOM . MARIA He's gone! KRAMER What? MARIA He just ran out that back door. I'd say your goose was just about homefried. I'm with the District Attorney's office. I hope you die and hang in the electric chair! Sherman heads out the back door. I wonder if I might have a few words. not sure what he's doing. 276 277 INT. SHERMAN (whispering) I have protected you... HALLWAY . 5/8/90 CONTINUED: (2) MARIA Go away whoever you are! KRAMER (O.DAY runs in. my. I have been a gentleman.KRAMER ... Mr. 275 * 276 INT.) This is Jed Kramer. Never..DAY KRAMER . I have done my best to keep your name out of this. From the district attorney's office. MARIA Never.

.NIGHT 278 * is sitting alone in the empty apartment. paintings. DISSOLVE TO: 278 INT. Don't we? KRAMER Yes.)R( 277 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . MARIA Well. I see. Sherman has a tape recorder in front of him. too. SHERMAN'S APARTMENT .furniture. (CONTINUED) . Because if I'm going to testify I'm going to want to know exactly what I should. 5/8/90 CONTINUED: KRAMER Jesus. Kramer is smitten. MARIA I'm sorry if I alarmed you. we do. ma'am. Almost everything is gone -. KRAMER I'm not the. 279 Sherman's father is standing there. you and I have a lot to talk about. KRAMER Yes.. he was acting very strange. 279 ANGLE .. MARIA Oh. I'm the Assistant District Attorney for Bronx County. In his hand he holds two tapes. and should not say.A.SHERMAN . 277 KRAMER Kramer. Jed. uh. Jed Kramer. There is a KNOCK at the door. rugs..FRONT DOOR as Sherman opens it..Rev. But My 125. And what a handsome District Attorney you are.. I'm the Assistant D. MARIA Yes. name is Maria Ruskin.

* MR. McCOY May I.. Yes.. I see.. 126. SHERMAN She has a good lawyer. For what it cost. McCOY Ah.. 279 FOLLOW them INTO. uh. Everything. too? SHERMAN Yes. 280 MR. McCOY She moves quickly. They weren't sure downstairs whether or not you were here.Rev. McCOY She's gone.. SHERMAN Judy.)Y( 279 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . McCOY (looking around) It's all gone. MR. LIVING ROOM . SHERMAN Sorry. Jesus... Come in. McCOY I'm not sure I ever really liked her. SHERMAN Of course not. Your wife. No. for what you paid for it...? Sure. Yes. MR. McCOY Or this apartment for that matter.. SHERMAN I usually come in the back way now. 7/19/90 CONTINUED: MR. Or the furniture. MR. (CONTINUED) .DAY MR. 280 INT.

. 'We. Mr. McCOY Please. or my work. And there's only one way to do that. 127. For Christ's sake. I came here to. McCOY No. That you are our son and that we love you.. I came here to tell you that we are here for you. I'm sorry. Jesus.Rev. 7/19/90 CONTINUED: SHERMAN Or my car. I'm not going to get... No. McCoy puts his arm around him and hugs him awkwardly but effectively. Mr. my life. We wanted to help.. Well... at this late date. McCOY I didn't. McCoy offers his hand in a handshake. you didn't come all the way here on a fucking subway probably to tell me now. I don't know how to do this. if that's what you've come to give me. That I love you. when I have to do what I'm going to do in that courtroom tomorrow. MR.. That's all. or my clothes. MR. I mean I. not now. you didn't come here now. I'm not going to get the ethics and morality speech. my money. MR.)Y( 280 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . . No.' I don't mean we. They separate. You didn't call. McCOY What you want to do? * * * * * * * * * (CONTINUED) SHERMAN There's only one thing I can do. 280 SHERMAN I mean. I want to see the truth come out and burn every one of them. MR. Sherman takes his hand.

STATUE OF BLIND JUSTICE Some demonstrators are climbing on the statue to get a better view. 128. MR. COURTROOM . (CONTINUED) 283 282 281 . you know I have always been a great believer in the truth. if the truth won't set you free. And yet.Rev. McCOY What is it? SHERMAN Lie..)Y( 280 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES ..MARIA On the stand as Kramer questions her. 280 * DISSOLVE TO: 281 INT.. And this incident occurred on the ramp to the expressway or on the avenue itself. I believe in the truth as an essential companion to a man of conscience. a beacon in the vast and dark wasteland of our modern world. McCOY And yet. trying to silence the overflowing courtroom.JUDGE WHITE .. KRAMER . McCOY Well. 282 ANGLE .DAY is banging his gavel. Why not? Lie. 283 ANGLE . I've lived my life as honestly as I know how. SHERMAN Yes? MR. yes. 7/19/90 CONTINUED: (2) MR.

Right on the 129. She might as well have put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.) And there it was. KRAMER Finally. street. In the audience. one last question. There was no hope now. Fox. Can you tell us. He was finished.EVERYONE Sherman and Killian at the defense table. (CONTINUED) 285 284 * * . And then I noticed the most peculiar thing. PETER (V. And it wasn't the ending I was hoping for. Mrs. on the avenue. MARIA Oh. 284 VARIOUS ANGLES . yes. 283 KRAMER And was there any obstruction or barricade of any kind that caused the car to stop? Oh.Rev. 4/18/90 283 CONTINUED: MARIA Why. MARIA Nothing like that at all. The end of Sherman McCoy. Bacon. Gerald Moore. no. A roar goes up from the crowd.BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . The darkness closed in around him.O. Sherman never let anyone drive his car. Sherman was smiling. Ruskin. Weiss and finally Peter Fallow taking notes. KRAMER Sherman McCoy was driving the car. who was driving the car when Henry Lamb was hit? MARIA Why. 285 ANGLE TO INCLUDE SHERMAN smiling.

Sherman? What SHERMAN (V. White regains order... He said he was driving and it was his decision to make. 285 Suddenly..O.?! MARIA (V. SHERMAN (V. There are certain qualities of virtue that I admire in a human being... White bangs his gavel. MARIA (V.Rev. (CONTINUED) Sudden * * * .. We could get a very talented lawyer.O.) (on tape) Maria.) Am I? The court goes crazy.O. we could still go to the police. MARIA (V..O.)J( 285 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Maria's RECORDED VOICE BLASTS into the courtroom. JUDGE WHITE What in hell..O.) (on tape) I don't feel terrifically sexy at the moment..) (on tape) You know I'm a sucker for a soft dick. and I wanted to report the incident but he wouldn't let me. Everyone is looking around for the source of the sound. virtues that I hope I possess myself. do you say.) (on tape) I supppose.. 4/25/90 CONTINUED: MARIA . silence in time for everyone to hear. you are incorrigible.O.) (on tape) We have time for a quickie. 130. KRAMER You were surprised? MARIA I was shocked. SHERMAN (V.

Don't you think I'm the one who should make that decision. Fallow starts to laugh. McCoy. JUDGE WHITE Get out of my face. Killian and Kramer return to their seats. I remind you that you are still under oath. Mr. McCoy? SHERMAN That tape is mine. I did.) (on tape) And put our heads right into the tiger's mouth? I'm the one who was driving the car. This is my tape of my conversation. sir. Mr. All of you. sir. The court starts screaming again. He looks at Sherman. trying to make it stop. Killian is shocked. I recorded this conversation on this tape. JUDGE WHITE Shut up. Sherman.KILLIAN. He bangs and kicks the recorder.)J( 285 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Kramer pulls Sherman's briefcase off a chair revealing a hidden tape recorder. JUDGE WHITE I want some fucking order in here! (CONTINUED) * * * .Rev. I recorded it. sir. KRAMER AND SHERMAN approach the bench. My tape. Maria faints on the stand. Kramer. Yes. * 286 JUDGE WHITE Whose tape is this.. Now. 4/25/90 CONTINUED: (2) MARIA (V.. KRAMER If Your Honor please. did you record this conversation? SHERMAN Oh. The courtroom grows more quiet. sir. Killian takes the tape from the recorder.O. They continue speaking in whispers. three bags full. Killian is amazed and amused. Yes. 131. Mr. 286 ANGLE . Sherman smiles. yes. 285 Absolute pandemonium.

Rev..... 286 * (CONTINUED) . JUDGE WHITE (screaming) So you insist on testing the will of this court!!!! Now you shut up and sit down!! All of you! Very well. the Grand Jury has returned an indictment.. DEMONSTRATORS (scream) Whitewash!! Whitewash!! 132.)J( 286 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . Based on the evidence contained in this recording.. 4/25/90 CONTINUED: He bangs the gavel until the noise subsides. (holds up the tape) . In the case of the People versus Sherman McCoy. and pursuant to my authority to supervise the Grand Jury's proceedings.

DOORS OF COURTROOM burst open. men of God take the prime cuts! Now you tell me -IS THAT JUSTICE?! Silence.. I say to you. And then a single VOICE rings out.. the color of a man's skin? If witnesses perjure themselves. and a prosecutor. 286 * Screams fill the air -. "Justice! Justice! Justice!" 287 ANGLE . what does it matter ... 133. enlists the perjurers .a mob who dares to come into these walls -I say to you. a sworn officer of the court.... The sound Sherman and Killian shake hands.WHITE rises on the bench like an eagle. repeatedly.. We want justice!!! want justice!!! JUDGE WHITE Justice! You want justice?! give you justice! We * I'll * Finally. (CONTINUED) * .. the courtroom goes quiet. room. you -. Peckerwood! Pussyface! is deafening. Everyone is quiet. 288 ANGLE . He pounds the gavel Reporters and photographers rush into the 288 * 287 DEMONSTRATORS Justice..."Racist! Motherfucker!" etc. and men of the cloth.)J( 286 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . The demonstrators are chanting. and a district attorney throws a man to the mob and lawyers carve up that man for his money. without prejudice and with leave to re-present by the District Attorney.Rev. VOICE You racist pig! JUDGE WHITE You dare call me a racist! Well. 4/25/90 CONTINUED: (2) JUDGE WHITE .. White looks around. I am ordering the indictment dismissed in the interests of justice. The courtroom explodes.

5/18/90 CONTINUED: JUDGE I don't hear you! More silence.COURTROOM as another blood-curdling roar goes up from the crazed mob. Or an angle.)S( 288 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . votes and blood! Decency is what your mother taught you! Decency is in your bones! Do I make myself clear! Now go home. Be decent people. JUDGE You're free to go. Decency is not the beast that bays for money. They close in on the Judge and Sherman. 134. 290 ANGLE . dominion. Be decent. Go home now. A moment of quiet as White comes down and faces Sherman. facing the JUDGE I'll tell you what justice is not. And the law is man's feeble attempt to set down the principles of decency. The Judge grabs Sherman and pulls him through the door. 291 292 * * * * * * * 290 289 . Justice is not politics. 289 ANGLE .Rev. 288 He comes down off the bench. or a contract.CROWD closing in on Sherman and the Judge.REVEREND BACON with a bullhorn. position. Justice is the law. power. Justice is not the will of the few and it's not the will of the many. Decency! And decency is not a deal. BACON You bald-headed Uncle Tom pussy!! (to the crowd) Are you going to take this Park Avenue justice!? Are you? 291 292 OMITTED ANGLE . mob. McCoy. egging on the crowd. or a hustle or a campaign or a trick or a bid for sympathy. Mr.

293 & 294 295 OMITTED 293 & 294 295 292D 292C 292B ANGLE . The bronze sword slides across the floor and comes to rest at Sherman's feet. 292D ANGLE . 5/18/90 INT. This decision will be appealed until I see you behind bars! You hear me. JUDGE Get your fucking face out of my way. More pushing until.. 292A * come out of the courtroom. CORRIDOR . You'll be back in this courtroom. McCoy.STATUE falls. Sherman grabs the sword. pursued by the spectators.SCENE The Judge is hit on the head by some debris. you black son of a bitch.KRAMER in the mob. KRAMER (taunting the Judge) This fucking face is going to see you selling pencils.Rev.STATUE teeters.. People scream and scatter. blinded by the plaster dust.MOBS OF PEOPLE rushing at Sherman and the Judge from different sides. They are pressed against a huge statue of "blind justice" at the end of the corridor. KRAMER We're not finished with you.)S( 292A BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . The statue shatters as it hits the floor. Judge. 292C ANGLE . KRAMER This fucking face is going to see you shining shoes in Grand Central Station. (CONTINUED) 296 . 296 ANGLE . 292B SEVERAL ANGLES .SHERMAN AND JUDGE 135. He stumbles. pressing toward Sherman and the Judge.

and justice -. Sherman helps the Judge down the corridor.)S( 296 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . intercepting Sherman. BACON Sherman McCoy! You shall not escape.. The choir women start to wail. 297 297A OMITTED ANGLE . WEISS And this man's name will live in infamy..BACON AND FOX coming out of the courtroom. Like Adolf Hitler! Like Son of Sam! Like Idi Amin! John Wilkes Booth! Ted Bundy! Jesse Helms! Sherman smacks Weiss with the sword and moves toward the stairs with the Judge. like the Alamo. 296 * Sherman whacks Kramer with the sword. (CONTINUED) 297 297A 296B 296A .Rev.FALLOW approaches Sherman. Mr. Sherman whacks Fox with the sword and continues down the corridor with the Judge. McCoy. Kramer falls away. as a symbol of slaughtered innocence. I think you should give me a call. WEISS . for the people -. 5/18/90 CONTINUED: 135A... Henry Lamb will live. in the mighty sea of people. Fox approaches Sherman offering his card. You shall live in fear on this island. 296B ANGLE . 296A ANGLE . Weiss sees Sherman and attacks him. and I promise you and the people of this city that Henry Lamb will not be forgotten.are waiting for you! Sherman whacks Bacon. FOX You've been woefully misrepresented here.WEISS giving an interview for a TV news team.

SHERMAN . They shake. . 5/18/90 CONTINUED: FALLOW Sherman! Sherman! Congratulations. sorry. Ha. You. SHERMAN Are you alright? I'm alright. Thanks. JUDGE Damn hooligans. 298A He walks up to the iron gates. The Judge shakes a tired fist at them. 298 He looks up. COURTHOUSE . Sherman takes it. And be decent.)S( 297A BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . too. Then he lets out a screaming war cry and smacks Fallow with the sword. The Judge shakes his fist at Sherman.SHERMAN AND JUDGE move down the stairs and out the iron gates of the courthouse.DAY pulls the gates shut and slides the sword through the door handles. JUDGE And you. You hear me? SHERMAN I hear you. 298 ANGLE . 298A EXT. Ha. Sherman looks at him for a moment. locking the crowd inside the courthouse. 297B PETER I needed that. They pound on the gates as the courtroom guards try to hold them back. Peter Fallow. The faces of the demonstrators are pressed against it. Then he turns to Sherman. Ha. He smiles. 297B ANGLE .Rev.FALLOW falls to the ground. I'm Peter Fallow. Then he opens the fist and offers his hand to Sherman. 297A * PETER Oh. too. You go home now. This is going to make one hell of a story!! You again! SHERMAN Who are you?! I'm 136. Your Honor.

PETER FALLOW through the iron gates. cheering. Peter Fallow!! . But he gained his soul.)S( 299 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES .O. DISSOLVE TO: 300 301 thru 303 303A OMITTED 301 thru 303 303A INT.SCENE Sherman turns and walks away down the corridors of justice. who started with so much.) It was the last I saw of Sherman McCoy.O. who started with so little. WINTER GARDEN .FALLOW . you see. VOICE (V. 299 * 300 ANGLE . 5/18/90 ANGLE . The Judge watches him go... ladies and gentlemen. A vast crowd of black ties and evening gowns surge toward him. Mr. Sherman.O.NIGHT coming out of the wall of flashbulbs we saw at the beginning.Rev. gained everything. the National Book Award and just about every other prize you can win. 137. applauding. Whereas I. the winner of the Pulitzer Prize. A voice rings out on a microphone.. you see. PETER (V.) . lost everything..) And so we come to the end of our story.... Sherman disappears into a great whiteness as we hear: PETER (V..

well.PETER 138.NIGHT 306 305 * lying in his bed.HENRY LAMB comes out of hospital. Cameras begin to flash. disconnects the I.)J( 304 BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES . PETER (V. Reverend Bacon. HOSPITAL ROOM .HENRY LAMB . Fillippo Chiarazzi. Peter waves and makes his way toward the podium. 4/25/90 ANGLE .. 307 EXT.) But what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses . END CREDITS BEGIN. Kramer. 304 As he rises unsteadily to his feet the room goes wild with applause.. He sits up.Albert Fox. looks around... Finally the flashing cameras fade and we.V. etc. There are compensations. FADE OUT. 307 THE END . And then his nose twitches. He gets out of bed. DISSOLVE TO: 306 INT. Ah. His hand comes up and scratches his nose.Rev. Abe Weiss.O. HOSPITAL . His eyes open. figures where he is. 305 SERIES OF STILL SHOTS BEGINNING WITH Peter at the podium and CONTINUING to include SHOTS of everyone congratulating Peter -. Peter reaches the podium and faces a standing ovation. Gerald Moore. he smiles and walks away down the street. Perfectly still.