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10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex

Posted on 06 March 2008 by admin

1 of 26 18.01.2009 01:14
10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex | Just A Guy Thing

Image by Cayusa

How did you learn about the finer points of sex? Maybe you watched that awkward sex education video
that was filmed a good 20 years before your time and made sex out to be a clinical and methodical
process. Some schools had in-class demonstrations of your 60-something teacher delicately peeling a
condom down over a banana like some giant, yellow (and slightly curved) penis. The mere thought of that
image alone is enough to remain celibate and move to a monastery in Tibet for the rest of your life! Other
people found out about sex by getting stuck in to a good old fumble session in the drama studio during a
free period. Whatever your story, it’s likely you had the talk from your old man at some point as well.

Talking about sex can be uncomfortable, particularly for a dad with his teenage son. A sex ed talk from
your father usually consists of the following:

Wear a condom.
Treat the girl with respect.
Don’t rush her.
Save yourself for the right girl.

Of course, none of this prepares us for the harsh reality of a proper sexual encounter. Our fathers have
failed us in our pursuit for sexual enlightenment. With this in mind, I present to you The 10 Things Your
Dad Never Told You About Sex (But Really Should Have).

#10 - Sex Fetishes

Image by lowfreq

I really wish my father had told me what a fetish was before I started having sex. The first time a woman
asked me if I was into “Formicophilia” I thought she was speaking Italian to me. It turns out she got a real
sexual kick out of having bugs, insects and creepy crawlies all over her genitals and wanted to share this
delightful experience with me. Apparently fetishes are a normal variation of human sexuality which range
from vanilla to just plain weird. I don’t mind a bit of biting and spanking every now and again but I draw
the line at inviting cockroaches to the party. Make sure you know a bit about fetishes before engaging in
sex because nobody wants to find out their girlfriend has a scat fetish after the fact.

#9 - It’s not like a porno movie

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Image by sneet

Imagine my surprise when, after years of watching Jenna Jameson bounce up and down on multiple guys
and screaming with pleasure, I finally lost my virginity to a shy little red head with a freckled face, glasses
and braces on her teeth. I thought sex would be all about screaming, dirty orgasms and filthy talk. Not
only that, I thought that every seemingly innocent situation could be initiated into impromptu sex. If my
friends mum offered me a cup of tea while we waited for him to get home from work, I thought she might
jump my bones any second. Alas, it never happened. As for the red head, it was less like a speeding train
and more like a brisk walk. Sex is nothing like it appears in porn. (unless you happen to be dating a porn

#8 - Pace yourself

Image by karigaile

As a knock-on effect of the porn delusions I suffered from, I thought that going at it hammer-and-tongs
for long periods of time was the norm. Those porn stars could last forever and so I was utterly
disappointed when my encounter with the shy red head lasted a mere 2 minutes before I rolled over and
fell asleep. If you’ve never heard the story of the tortoise and the hare, I’m sure it related to sex. Women
want a stallion who can last the distance and although sometimes a quickie can be just as fun, nobody
wants it to be over before it’s even begun.

#7 - Headaches are no excuse not to have sex

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Image by mareen

At 21, my girlfriend of the time regularly used to tell me she wasn’t in the mood for a bit of nookie
because she ‘had a headache’. New evidence has come to light though which says that the female orgasm
releases endorphins (a natural painkiller). This means that sex is a headache cure. I’d go as far as to use
this to try and have sex with your girlfriend for any number of ailments. Broken leg? Sex can ease your
pain, baby. Your (hot)friend has a broken heart? I’ll give her an orgasm to make her feel better. Genital
herpes? Er…you’re on your own there, darling.

#6 - Threesomes are not as common as you think

Image by willradik

A combination of porn and ‘true story’ articles in Maxim and FHM had me growing up thinking that a
threesome was a natural part of everyday life and would happen regularly. After losing a couple of
girlfriends through requests for their big-bosomed friend to join us for a session, I began to lose faith.
Some people claim that “Ménage á trois” is actually French for “In your dreams”. While I’m sure many
people have had threesomes (or more) with other women, the sad reality is that the threesomes we could
have would most often involve not another woman, but another man.

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103 Comments For This Post

1. Khannea Suntzu Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 4:22 pm

Men, the biggest sex organ of a woman is her BRAIN. Create a fantasy and the vast majority of
women will worship the ground you walk on. Don’t be a DICK, be a DIRECTOR.

2. matt Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 4:23 pm

this article was way better than the “art of flirting” article. though it’s odd that the author doesn’t
know how to flirt, but can spew off some good rules of sexual engagement!

3. diego Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 4:32 pm

> Shag as many women as you can while you’re still young

It’s more about quality than quantity here, 3 *good* ladies will show you a much better time than
20 dull ones. I suppose you do need to go through 20 to find the 3, hah.

4. Christian Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 4:33 pm

@matt - He probably pays for sex. ;-p

5. Homer Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 4:43 pm

I have heard from a few doctors….Including Dr. Drew from Loveline that the male g-spot is a myth.
Being a male, I totattly agree. There is no such thing as “milking the prostate”. It’s just a bunch of
Cosmo crap. I do appreciate the rest of the artical however. I agree, MUCH better than the “art of

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6. Steve Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 4:45 pm

Great article and funny photos. Steve

7. Jollymon6672 Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Oral stimulation on a woman is a necessity. It puts them in the right frame of mind as well as the
mood. I have only have been with one woman who got off more from internal stimulus than
external and she required very deep penetration. The biggest problem in todays world relating to sex
is the mind getting in the way of the pleasure. Generations have taught us that sex is bad and dirty,
yet life would not exist without it. If education is the key, then tell both sides of the story. Sex Ed
only touches on the medical and safety side of sex. As we grow and experiment, we learn by trial
and error, which for a sexual encounter can be defeating. Pride and media have perverted the
human mind. We associate what we see on TV and in movies as reality more than what the real
world offers. If we look at nature and how other cultures perceive sex, we could all learn a lot and
have a more fulfilling sexual life.

Be smart, be safe, and be open minded.

8. Kim Siever Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 5:12 pm

Porn for women

Keep that in mind.

9. Anonymice Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Be the MASTER of the clit!

My best/most orgasms were from a boyfriend who didn’t have much packing, but knew how to
work it ALL.

It was a beautiful, beautiful thing.

10. goocy Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Informative article! I didn’t know this one with exploding blood cavities…
But “Ménage à trois” means actually “houshold with three”.

Congrats to the chose of pictures, this surely took some time!

11. chato Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 5:27 pm

the funniest thing in this article to me was the busted penis thing and the spooge it spewed all over
the woman’s shirt. nice, that one…

12. Digital Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 5:27 pm

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I’ve snapped the “Banjo String” myself. Let me tell you, that is probably the most absolute worst
thing that can possibly happen to man during sex (unless of course it’s durting some sort of dirty
fetish sex). That sucker bleeds, alot! Think about men, your penis is full of blood at the time, now it
has a way out of your body.

And yes, it hurts. And yes, it was scary. And yes, going to the hospital and having to explain your
visit to the triage, her helper, and the female nurse that you will inevitibly get is pretty embarrasing.

13. crckd Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

i wonder if there isnt a position that stimulates the clit during the act. ist there a way to like, grind on
it during sex? not uncomfortable for the woman would be ideal with this too.

14. michael Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

this is a grait story, i got some laughs out of it, and when my girlfriend wakes up off my sholder, i’ll
have her read this story.
her review will be hereif you wanna check it out

15. Mot Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Its likely that the reason the male g-spot (prostate) is in the anus is because stimulating the anus
itself is healthy. It creates increased blood flow, and helps keep it cleaner. All of this goes toward
preventing problems with the prostate and colon (cancer’s etc.).

That said I am far from gay. Men barely interest me in the for of friends, let alone touching them!
Nonetheless, I do like it when my partner stimulates those parts very much. Essentially I dont think
being gay has much of anything to do with enjoying anal sex.

16. Riley Sharp Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Beware of causal sexual relationships, they seem a great idea at the time, but women who are into
that typically aren’t that deep (or often intelligent or loyal) so even if your having absolutely great
sex, enjoy it while you can cause she’s going to dump you for someone bigger at her first shot. I
speak from experience.

Also, if a threesome is on your bucket list, invest in a bi girlfriend, they may be a little more loony,
but hey, worth it.

I found that thighs are highly sensitive, so pay attention. My ex really liked brushing her sides in
passing, but stay about 4 inches away from anything interesting in public.

17. Katy R Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 6:07 pm

As a woman, I feel I am betraying women somehow…but the best way to get laid for a guy is to
play hard to get. Women want what they can’t have. If you act like (or even tell them)that yo are a
sexual lothario and no-one can hold you down, I GUARENTEE the women would come flocking

18. Tim Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 6:11 pm

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11) Condoms help you last longer, but can also keep you from getting off.

12) Speaking of condoms, get the right size. For a long time I was buying regulars, which I would
break about 3 of them everytime I had sex. So one day I bought the large kind and the problem
went away. For the record, I’m not much bigger than average and I never thought of myself as a
‘big’ guy, but larger condoms give more room for movement and don’t snap as easily under friction
(b/c they’re not as stretched out). Nothing is scarier than having one burst right when you’re
blowing your load, so if you find them breaking, don’t risk it: get bigger ones. Trojan Magnums have
the same diameter base as regulars, but expand out as you go toward the tip, so even guys who
aren’t huge can benefit from extra room (and sensation).

13) Make it about her, and she’ll do the same for you. The first few times I have sex with a new girl
I always make it about getting her off, even if it means being too exhausted to finish myself.

14) Sex on her period can be extremely hot. Natural, warm lube plus the fact that it’s taboo can be a
turn on.

15) Girls want to be dominated. Really, really want to be. Even the self-described feminist women
I’ve been with want to be thrown down and slammed. No matter how much you like her, don’t like
her so much you put her on a pedestal and can’t drill her like she needs. When I was first having sex
I was so “respectful”, if you will (because she was actually willing to bang me) that I wouldn’t do
anything that might upset her. Later on I stopped caring and just went for it, and I learned that a lot
of girls are willing to do stuff I didn’t even knew happened outside of porn.

19. Kenneth Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 6:12 pm

Thumbs up for suggesting male readers reach out for their gspot

20. Beth Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 6:56 pm

Guys, for those of you who have a big dick, the size of your dick does not give you a free pass to be
a lazy or incompetent lover. I had sex with a man who had a very thick 10″ dick and it was the
worst experience of my life because he was incompetent and didn’t make sure I was properly
lubricated before insertion. It was painful, decidedly unsexy, and left me injured/bleeding (due to
friction without lubrication on my vaginal walls). He was even worse than the guy with the 3″ dick
(yes, a 3″ dick at full erection) I had sex with at a later date — at least that guy cared to work on
the foreplay a bit.

My most satisfying lover (who also happens to be my husband — duh!) is average size. I generally
don’t orgasm when we are having penile/vaginal sex (as has been the case with all my lovers), BUT
he knows how to make me cum with oral and believe me that is worth its weight in gold!

Men, if you haven’t experienced prostate love, give yourself the finger. I do it sometimes to my
husband and he melts into a puddle every time. (Be aware that you may cause “milking”, which is
an emission of ejaculate fluid without orgasm.) I usually use a glove to keep things a little cleaner.
Or, you can take a less direct route to the prostate by finding it in the taint area. It’s not as intense a
feeling as going through the anus, but it still feels darned good, according to the hubby. Usually I do
the external prostate massage while giving him a blow — he LOVES it.

21. Beth Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 7:00 pm

I just read Homer’s comment above about there being no such thing as milking the prostate. I
disagree — have done it to my husband.

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22. Vin Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 7:02 pm

1 in 400 guys…..hmmmmmmm well I guess I’m #1 LOL!! I blow myself on a daily basis cause I
can! Its amazing and theres nothing wrong with it. Self satisfaction is a part of life, and I love
it…..and the ladies like to watch too.

23. Ronnie Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 7:02 pm

Positions that can stimulate the clit? Woman on top baby! As for things that guys tend to do
wrong…Men tend to go faster the more excited they get. For me slow (but not too slow) and steady
gets the job done.

24. Alisa Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 7:03 pm

keep your hands clean and nails trimmed.

25. mikey Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 7:05 pm

i snapped my “banjo string”

awkward conversation with doctor followed

tissue round knob for next two days

it hurt like fuck!

26. J Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 7:08 pm

15) - very true!

27. Brad Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 7:10 pm

I wish someone had told me that it was completely acceptable for a guy NOT to get off during sex.
That would have relieved a whole lot of stress that I put on myself (thank you porn!) which only
made the problem worse.

28. Jay Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 7:11 pm

isn’t foreplay one of the most important parts of sex also. I once remember going straight for her
draws when i was younger, and she said “already?”

29. elliot Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 7:17 pm

To Tim -

Not ALL women like being drilled hard. Everybody’s different. And being a feminist has nothing to
do with sex.

30. Timmy Says:

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March 6th, 2008 at 7:32 pm

“I have heard from a few doctors….Including Dr. Drew from Loveline that the male g-spot is a
myth. Being a male, I totattly agree. There is no such thing as “milking the prostate”. It’s just a
bunch of Cosmo crap. I do appreciate the rest of the artical however. I agree, MUCH better than the
“art of flirting””


You are naive and obviously out of touch with your sexuality. You state that “you heard” that the
g-spot is a myth. Have you ever tried anal play or tried to massage your prostate? Just because a
Doctor tells you something does not mean that what they tell you is the end all. Doctors are not
Gods. IMO they are similar to mechanics ( albeit with 100 more years in schooling ). They both
diagnose and repair the problem. Sometimes they get it right, sometimes they don’t. Many doctors
will hand out “advice” or knowledge but are skewed by their believes ( religious or otherwise ).


31. David Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 7:58 pm

Personally, a guy has to be secure in his masculinity to not be squirmish over invading the
“dirtbox”. There is nothing gay about it, it’s just sexual.

32. Jammy Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 8:11 pm

My advice is open the condom a little bit before you even take your clothes off. Enough to maintain
moisture on it, but easy to get out of the packet & roll on.

33. Obama Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 8:27 pm

How about a Car is not as comfortable as it sounds?

Check out Obama.

34. Michelle Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 8:46 pm

Number 3, the one about the “banjo string” has actually happened to my boyfriend twice. I really
wish now that he could get circumcised, because he has never really gotten over the event. I can’t
even give him decent head anymore without causing pain.

35. Hairybutt Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 8:58 pm

No, sex is really not like the porn movies you grow up watching! I remember the first time I had
sex… oh the horror! I thought all women shaved their pussies and a$$es bald, after all… how hairy
could they be? I neraly lost my erection when I saw the JUNGLE my poor girlfriend (we were both
15) had between her legs! It was a mess! And her butt! It looked like mine (not the buttcheeks, but
in between)! Man, I really do not want to remember the horrible feeling I had that somehow my
girlfriend was half-monkey or something. Parents should really tell their young how a REAL woman
looks like. It’s better for the poor women and the unsuspecting young men.

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36. the panda Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 10:28 pm

your father never told me I’d have an Asian fetish. That has to count for something

37. ConfusedInCalifornia Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 11:21 pm

I met have met a couple of women who didnt enjoy oral stimulation… why is this!?!? The others
have been with say I am very good at it, and I enjoy doing it. I guess there are technically guys out
there who claim to “not enjoy getting head” but I think they are rare, and perhaps have had some
shitty blowjobs. I guess everyone’s different!

Oh and why do women make excuses about sex in general? “I have a headache” = ??? So wait, you
are making an excuse NOT to have sex?? Seems like it should be the other way around, and I just
have never understood this one. Social taboos perhaps? Shitty lover(s)? What would make you not
want sex?

And lastly, the bro who is denying the male G-spot should uh, do his homework

38. subcorpus Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 11:49 pm

hehe … great article …

39. Jenn Says:

March 6th, 2008 at 11:50 pm

Good Hygiene! I don’t mind a dirty man…say just getting of work, running heavy equipment and
smelling like grease and diesel….mmm. But if you stink, forget about coming near me. Also, is it so
hard to do a little trimming down there? Doesn’t have to be porn bald….although that is
AWESOME for licking everything n stuff. But if you are wondering why your wife/girlfriend won’t
go down more often, that could be part of it. Stink and hair that gags her! Lol!

Also VARIETY. That is a big thing for me. I don’t care how small or big you are, you just better
know how to work it….mentally and physically. You can be the biggest stud, but if you do the same
moves over and over and over, I’m out of there. Small yet knowing how to tease, work it and
change it up, I will stick around and give it all right back to you.

Sometimes I like it long and loving, sometimes I just want it quick and hard so I can roll over and go
to sleep! Just remember every girl is different. What one likes, another might not. Get to know your
girl. I’d say that’s the biggest turn on. Some one who knows me.

40. You-Who Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 12:08 am

Actually the biggest sex organ on a woman is her skin….

41. Robert Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 12:12 am

You’ve got to be kidding me. You straight men are sad and pathetic. Three ways are so common
that they are humdrum among gay men. A lot of times the sex IS like porn star sex. We’re not
ashamed of, and we know how, to have fun, safe, clean backdoor sex.

42. JayDee Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 12:30 am

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Confused in California:

Hey there. A few of the women I’ve been with in the past have had phobias about their genitals. I
suspect the cause of women’s apprehension about oral sex stems from one (or more) of the

1) An upbringing that taught a girl to be ashamed of her genitals. Parents who try to get their
daughters to not exploring themselves as youngsters often resort to, “Don’t touch that, it’s dirty!”.

2) The prevalence of ‘feminine hygiene products’ out there tend to re-enforce #1.

3) Sadly, there are a lot of women out there who have experienced sexual abuse in their past, and
there may be lingering trust and control issues that you need to help mitigate.

Enough bad news. Here’s the good news.

A lot of the time, things like this can be overcome with patience and understanding. Express your
intentions clearly — “I really like pleasing you this way, and it’s something I want to do for you.”

For #1 and #2, try oral sex immediately after getting out of the shower. Soap each other up, and
spend a lot of time on each others bits. (Liquid soap is a good idea - bar soap can be abrasive.)

For #3, you have to move slowly, and establish trust. A lot of female-positive porn features copious
amounts of soft, sensual touching and cunnilingus.

Ironically enough, some women respond to assertiveness too. I had a GF who would only let me go
down on her if she was tied up. … or drunk.

Be persistent about giving your girl pleasure. =)

43. Shopping Cart Software Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 12:55 am

Some of this stuff is quite interesting lol.

44. Random Guy Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 1:30 am


“I just read Homer’s comment above about there being no such thing as milking the prostate. I
disagree — have done it to my husband.”

I think he faked it.

45. Anonymous lady Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 1:31 am

I think guys should know that girls with big boobs, well the majority of them would like for the guy
to play and suck on her boobs. This is just another way to get a girl aroused. Plus, I hate guys that
are so lame that just want the girl to be on top all the times, and refuse to do something new. This
kind of behavior from guys is the kinda behavior that triggers girls to lie about having a hedache.
Come on guys, get interesting!!!!

46. rosevilleboy Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 1:42 am

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Katy R said, “…the best way to get laid for a guy is to play hard to get. Women want what they
can’t have.” I’ll go one better than that. You tell women that you’re gay and they’ll be all over you
like flies on s**t. There are all too many females just pompous and stupid enough to think that they
could be “the one” who can “turn him around” because he just needs “the right girl.” It also proves
to be a helpful strategy in bagging two girls at the same time, each competing to be better than the
other, trying their damnedest to “win” the guy by turning him straight. Trust me, this works!

47. megan Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 2:05 am

i just want to reinforce the dominance thing, most girls i know love being dominated by guys.

personally, i can only be attracted to a guy who’s powerful.

48. Banjo Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 2:13 am

The Banjo string… I’ve never hurt it while railing a girl, yet… But I have sliced it when I bailed out
of my shower and clipped it on the edge of the bathroom sink countertop. Luckily I hadn’t been
whackin er in the shower, and I didn’t really bleed alot, but it did take a while to heal, and stung like
bee! (and smelled like ox) jokes

49. NotSure Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 2:17 am

If you want a threesome, there are some things you need to do.

First, stop advertising yourself as a nice guy. Be well known as a kinky pervert. You will find that
most relationships do not start with a random meeting, you get introduced, and you want your
reputation as the perv to precede you. Kinky women will be drawn to you knowing you are up for
almost anything. Oh, if you have strong moral objections about any sexual act… you may find that
your cover will be blown as soon as you give a revolted look when a woman admits she likes a
specific sex act (no, not “sex position”… something so nasty Penthouse and Playboy would never
print it in their letters pages).

Next, talk to your new woman… she may have jumped into your bed straight from church, she may
be the sweetest, nicest, most innocent girl you have met… but she KNEW your reputation… she is
either far from innocent, or has a deep urge to loose the innocence. Talk to her about her sexual
fantasies (try not to blurt out your kinkiest perversions before she tells you hers), listen to what she
tells you, and what she omits telling you… omissions from a list of things she will never do sexually,
often tell you more than a list of things she wants to do.

Group sex often pops up in these discussions… OK, I have never had a conversation like this where
group sex did not come into the discussion.

Be open to a MFM threesome. You do not need to be bisexual. There are many things two men can
do with a woman that involve little to no male to male contact. A woman is going to be much more
at ease if the conversation is more than only you boning some other woman. MFM threesomes are
good for beginners, IF you can find a second guy who will respect you.

FMF threesomes are a lot of work… and not only physically when two women are horny enough to
want you to service each of them twice… with full foreplay each time. The real work is the
jealously. If you are not good with women, or you have a shaky relationship, do not even try… If
you believe you can handle it, take a walk with your girlfriend this coming weekend. Hold her hand
and make small talk. Now ogle and stare at the first gorgeous woman that walks by. make sure your
girlfriend knows you are looking. Now talk your way out of it and calm your girlfriend down. Now

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you have the first inkling of what can and does happen if reality suddenly hits your girlfriend in bed,
that you have your penis in another woman’s vagina. It does not matter that she agreed to it. When
have you known women to be reasonable? She is more likely to go off at you if she interprets her
share of attention as less than the attention you are giving the other woman. Finally, the other
woman can go off at you for pretty much the same reasons. It is like walking a tightrope the first
time your threesome first gets into bed. It gets easier as you go if it is a regular threesome.

Still want one? They are very possible, but you have been warned.

50. Shaun Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 3:55 am

I’m pretty sure the anal g-spot is there to bring a surge of relief after you take a crap.

51. ultra Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 4:59 am

More advice … keep a ‘friendly towel’ near the bed because nobody really likes sleeping in a wet

52. J Says:
March 7th, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Circumsized and broke the banjo. Had that talk with my Dr and he says it happens all the time. Lots
of blood yes. Had to sit down for a while and rather scary when it happens.
My GF wants to go treasure hunting to find that prostrate Gspot one day. I can’t wait to find out
what it’s like! Tried it myself but to no avail.
Currently trying some multi-orgasm tests. Think I did it to myself last night. We’ll see! It’s hard to
stop and wait when inside her tho
Oh yeah! And since I get her off several times using fingers/tongue she says I’m definitely a keeper

53. Fubiz Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Very good roundup!!!

54. Racy_Rick Says:

March 7th, 2008 at 8:12 pm

This is a great article. There are many other things with couples that can make sex more interesting
time after time. Communication is a huge, no monumental item in having sexual relations. It is
amazing how much just talking about things can turn you on.

Also toys are a great thing to introduce. someone earlier in the comments asked if there was a way
to stimulate the clitoris whilst having sex. Although I know this is possible it can be easily achieved
with a cockring. There are even ones with vibrators attached. Check them out :

you can always introduce toys with a little rubber duckie

55. Stone Cold Says:

March 8th, 2008 at 7:37 am

Great article and great comments.

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56. Christian Says:

March 8th, 2008 at 8:22 am

Thanks for all the wonderful comments everyone. And to any guy that has snapped his banjo string
- I feel your pain.


57. Pacos Bill Says:

March 8th, 2008 at 4:06 pm

What about the “ejection seat”?

or the “double latte”?

No father has ever talked about these.

58. john Says:

March 8th, 2008 at 8:50 pm

My father never told me about blue balls…

59. THomas Says:

March 9th, 2008 at 11:03 am

very well written the clit thing is a must !

60. indy Says:

March 9th, 2008 at 11:26 am

also boys, look at kagles, they are a pubic exercise that will give you more control over your
orgasms n ejaculations… your girl will be impressed if you do them regularaly. she can do them as
well. look em up

61. susie Says:

March 9th, 2008 at 6:01 pm

About headaches: yes, it’s true that orgasms help headaches. But please remember how much of
women’s sexuality can be in our heads - and it’s hard to feel sexy when your head wants to split
open. I get migraines fairly regularly and my favorite cure is to take medicine, lay in a dark room for
15 minutes until it recedes and then fuck like crazy - gets rid of the lingering headache every time.

62. Ryan Says:

March 9th, 2008 at 6:28 pm

My mom was not the father’s first. He didn’t tell me that!

Nice article!

63. Alianne Says:

March 9th, 2008 at 9:49 pm

Fun to read, good to know.

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10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex | Just A Guy Thing

Just one thing: Sex may help to relive a regular headache. But forget about orgasms as natural pain
relievers when it comes to migrane. Any one suffering from migrane will tell you that any kind of
exercise (including sex) will split your brain.

It’s really not just an excuse.

64. Kelly Says:

March 10th, 2008 at 6:06 am

Very well-written, even being a female, I appreciated the info.

I think the whole clit thing is bull. I get off by penetration alone every 19 out of 20 times. During
sex, the man needs to be dominate, very dominate. Its in the mind, not in the touch. Women are just
too demanding.

65. Danni Says:

March 10th, 2008 at 4:26 pm

I don’t know if a girl has already said this or not but I will say it again.

If we say we want it rough…DO IT ROUGH. We’re not gonna break guys. If a girl has enough balls
to come out to you and say, I want you to throw me up against the wall and *u*c* me hard then you
should LISTEN to her and do it.

Also, it helps a bunch if you ask your partner what they like in bed. Compromising. Thats the key.

I don’t like stimulating the male g-spot, but I did it for him because he did the things that I liked
doing in bed and I did the same for him.

All in all. Drill into her Tim!

Unless she says not to.

66. seXbox Says:

March 11th, 2008 at 9:06 am

@ crckd
as well as the woman being on top or ‘doggy style’ (+reach around), etc., you may stimulate her clit
in the usual ‘missionary position’ by raising her hips (use a pillow or something under her butt) &/or
by getting her to move a little lower down the bed and positioning yourself slightly higher over her
than usual.

Just don’t forget the foreplay first!

sucking, licking, fondling, etc., breasts is not just for women with “big breasts” as one person said!
Probably *all* sized women are going to enjoy this unless their breasts/nipples are feeling too
sensitive for any reason (explaining would be unnecessary, and unwelcome to most men). just don’t
pull or twist painfully - those things are attached! well, unless she likes it rough/that sort of thing. ;p

enjoyed this article even tho not a bloke.. i learnt one or two things. thnx.

67. poison-baby Says:

March 12th, 2008 at 12:25 am

guys … let me give you a very good example of the Domination Deal: my first love … our first date
… i get in the car and tell him that i really want to take things slow and i want to feel relaxed and

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10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex | Just A Guy Thing

have a good time with him so would it be alright if we agreed not to do anything physical … not
even the date ending kiss?

He said: “That’s fine sweetheart. I won’t kiss you … but before this date is over I am going to
F#@* you.” Lost my virginity that night

Things I wish I’d been told: Don’t be afraid of hurting the penis on your first blowjob and for
GOD’S sake don’t suck your lips in over your teeth to protect it. That bruising is really really hard
to explain.

When your husband asks you what your most perverse fantasy is … chances are he wants to hear
one of two things; what exotic place would you like to give him a blowjob and how much you
would like to invite all your hottest friends over for a 5 girl on 1 man orgy/sexathon. What they are
not prepared to hear is that fantasy where you’re kidnapped by a truck full of hillbillies and
tormented and humiliated against your will for say a week or so. The look on his face will burn in
my memory forever. And can you imagine my world after that? If we drove past a trailer-park …
he’d ask if I wanted him to drop me off for a bit. Pick-up truck with say a rebel flag on it? Waggle
his eyebrows at me and give me the ol’ “you know you want it”. DONT TELL YOUR MOST
PERVERSE FANTASY!!! Women’s minds are dark and depraved.

Guys … don’t treat orgasm like some beast you’ve conquered and slain … conquer the girl … the
orgasm will come *smiles dreamily*


68. Janey Says:

March 14th, 2008 at 3:29 pm

Advice for guys:

No matter how old you are this cannot be stressed enough; What are you trying to do tune a
radio??? Nipple cripple yourself. See how you like it.

69. The Beautiful Kind Says:

March 14th, 2008 at 10:40 pm

OMG no kidding Brad - I wish we weren’t taught that sex revolves around a man’s orgasm and that
is the goal and once he has one, it’s game over. It’s taken me years to untrain myself from that
mindset and enjoy a good romp where I cum 3x and my guy cums zero. BUT we are both satisfied.

Brilliant article. Glad the one on fetishes was listed first.

70. fetisher Says:

March 16th, 2008 at 3:06 pm

Great article - I think an article expounding on the world of fetishes would also be beneficial to men
(and women) everywhere.

For instance, one of the least talked about but most common fetishes is called Capnolagnia - a
smoking fetish.

For many people, myself included, the sight of a beautiful woman smoking sends our minds reeling.
I know, it’s hardly healthy, but the way I’ve always justified it in my own mind is that it’s a lot
easier to handle than some of the others!

I can’t change it and I can’t make it go away - trust me, I’ve tried. I lived most of my life thinking I
was a freak of nature, until the internet came around and helped me find other people with the same

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10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex | Just A Guy Thing

fetish as I.

So ladies, if your guy says he wants to see you smoke, don’t be offended. You don’t have to do it!
Just don’t judge him!

71. Marb Says:

March 18th, 2008 at 11:15 am

Sho .. anyone want to shag me? I need more experience!

72. C-DUB Says:

March 18th, 2008 at 10:58 pm

Great article!

73. C-DUB Says:

March 19th, 2008 at 12:47 am


74. sissa Says:

March 20th, 2008 at 7:35 am

I like my breast sucked…hard… I like it to feel as if he is trying to milk me. This is such a turn on.

75. Klause Says:

March 26th, 2008 at 3:26 am

Most women feel the need to be sexualy dominated, the trick is figuring out her caring gentleman
sex vs cave man sex ratio.
Sometimes women will want to make love, sometimes they want to get fucked.
For example, it might be two times “gentle love making in the bedroom before going to sleep” to
one time bending her over the kitchen table without warning and “bangin’the shit out her after
coming in from work” it should’nt take long to discover your partner’s preference and this is very
important…you must learn this ratio on your own, these desires are often subconscious so talking
about it might just backfire on you!

76. Truthful Gal in Texas Says:

March 26th, 2008 at 5:25 am

As much as you want there to be, there is not a step-by-step instruction manual for pleasing a
woman. A few facts:

The truth is: Not all women have a G-Spot. Seriously, it is a scientific fact.

A very important point that I want to share with all the guys:
I’m so glad you know where my clitoris is, you are so smart! Now the one thing you don’t want to
do is take your long nailed fingers and start mashing them into it as hard as you can. Think of it this
way: You love me to handle your penis, but if I took my hand and made it into a claw and started
yanking your genitals to and fro with all my might, that wouldn’t feel very good either. Try a little
tenderness, for Chrissake. The same goes for oral. Your tongue can hurt too, and regardless of what
you think, more pressure does not equal a faster climax in most cases. You’ll just have to wait.

Talk to her, guys. Make it clear that you really want to please her and that you won’t take her
comments as a personal attack on your technique, because if she wants you to do it just right, she
will have to be willing to make A LOT of comments.

18 of 26 18.01.2009 01:14
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Lastly, don’t ask about her weirdest sexual fantasy unless you actually want to be surprised and
possibly scarred for life. We grew up with the same access to smut that you did, twentysomething

77. mable Says:

March 30th, 2008 at 8:49 am

Sex should be about her, that is if you care about the person your having sex with, first thing first
lick the clit, make sure she is wet before you jab it in there, 99% of the time…jabbing it in is not
enjoyable. Go Slow at first… if she likes it go fast. Stop with the macho stuff, let her be in control
you will both enjoy it more that way. Make her feel loved even if that isn’t the case, that’s usually
the reason she is sleeping with you… to feel loved. Hold her after you cum all-over/in-her most of
us aren’t all about having your cum every where.And do not tell your friends about it.

78. Willz Says:

April 14th, 2008 at 12:55 am

i live in fear of the banjo string, honest to god how much does it hurt on a scale of 1-10 and would it
be worth it to get rid of it?

79. Sex is fun Says:

April 15th, 2008 at 8:58 am

I think one thing missed was if a girl is going to give you a BJ help her! If she does it wrong and you
just want to get off, she will continue to do it wrong. That is pretty much the rubric for any sexual
encounter really. Feedback is insanely important, if you have multiple levels of pleasure(I’m sure
we all do) try to keep track and respond the same way, ie facial expressions or what ever other
things you may do. It helps the one pleasing you know what you like.
Pain and pleasure have very similar looks to them, try to have a look that can make it easier for
them to see the difference. As time passes you and partner will be able to cover new ground much
faster with these queues. That goes for her as well. Then the real fun begins, I believe its in the #10

80. Nikki Bunny Says:

May 6th, 2008 at 7:18 am

Ok… I just want to say that the guys sucking themselves off made me laugh! I pictured my husband
trying to do it to himself and I laughed so hard! I also want to say that women prefer a variety and
sure a guy with a big dick could be a plus but… no woman wants to hurt during sex… personally, I
prefer a guy with an average size penis. Big ones are way too much for me. As for the threesomes…
I do not recommend it to people with jealousy streaks. My husband and I have had a few
threesomes. All of which were fmf. I quite enjoyed it and I know my husband loved watching me
with the other woman. If you want to try to get your woman to open up to a threesome, then bring it
up while having sex. Don’t mention you wanting to fuck her friend, but mention watching her with
another woman and see where it goes from there. On a personal level, I love watching my husband
with another woman. It’s a fetish… I know… but it is just so amazing watching another woman get
an orgasm from my man. I dk. But that’s all I have to say about that. AMAZING artical.

81. Stephanie Says:

June 10th, 2008 at 4:59 am

About the headache thing… I find it hard to orgasm when i have a headache. Without thinking i’m
going to orgasm, i don’t want to have sex with you. i’m sorry. get over it.

82. Anonymous Says:

June 14th, 2008 at 1:46 am

19 of 26 18.01.2009 01:14
10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex | Just A Guy Thing

If you’ve been circumcised, the banjo thing really isn’t that common - if it has happened then
you’ve done something wrong, it’s not way excusable to be circumcised and ultimately losing all the
nerves on the glans. Dumb logic.

83. Darren Says:

June 16th, 2008 at 12:15 am

Sex is never like in a porno movie? All I can say is, you must be a lousy lover if thats your

84. Josh Says:

June 26th, 2008 at 7:24 pm

that was great article! good to know what women think about sex! i have personally learnt alot from
the article. the anus massage fing is kind of weird! tho never tried it…. good job everyone i ges
there is a lot to learn from the male and female sexuality! Adios!

85. Tabatha Says:

August 18th, 2008 at 7:03 am

Hey, I have always wondered this…Guys please answer… Why do mean always say “Your so
beautiful” when you are giving the head? Is this something you are told by your fathers? How bout
saying it when we AREN”T giving you head…..BUT PLEASE STILL ANSWER MY QUESTION

86. kwdoiewhf Says:

August 27th, 2008 at 5:14 pm

i love sex i have it all the time it keeps my girlfriend and me happy specialy whaen she lets me
watch her shave her pussy that makes me warm inside lol

87. newyorkjoe Says:

September 12th, 2008 at 9:48 pm

I gotta say to the men who think that their prostate is a dead animal - you don’t know what you’re
missing, and really, who cares about ya? Stay in the dark, and endure the rest of yer lives with yer
boring, vanilla, repressed sex lives.

But please - put a clamp on the idiotic excuses about why you shouldn’t explore stimulating your
prostate. “My doctor said the male has NO g-spot…” “It’s only for taking a crap…!” Blah, blah,
blah. You want to get at it and see what all the fuss is about, or you don’t. Simple. But to argue
against the realiy of our physiology is idiotic and SCREAMS of the real reason - you’d have to
penetrate your anus! Or… be penetrated! “No, not that! Anything but THAT! That’s… that’s…
that’s GAY! Aaaaaahhhhhhh!”

And yer not GAY, damnit!

So shut up.

88. TOBARU Says:

November 5th, 2008 at 9:15 pm


89. Rex Says:

November 10th, 2008 at 5:35 am

20 of 26 18.01.2009 01:14
10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex | Just A Guy Thing

You have to be careful with some girls’ clits. They can actually be overly sensitive to touch and
actually cause pain. And some woman actually do get off just on vaginal stimulation though it’s
more unusual.

90. Jillian Says:

November 10th, 2008 at 6:21 am

I wouldn’t go as far as one did to say that there is a ratio of “love making” to “let’s just bang..” but
there is a sort of balance. Honestly it depends on the mood. If you can pick up on a few hints that’s
great, if not just ask her.. “Can I make love to you, or eff your brains out?” Some days I’m feeling a
bit depressed and I want a bit of love. And then again I can go into a little rough sex streak for
weeks. Just depends.

And.. coming from a girl with a B cup, doesn’t matter the size. If she likes you sucking on the girls,
she effing wants it. Oh and don’t just go for the nipples, they’re great, but there is sensitive skin
running around the ribs/breasts that is begging to be licked.

Unless she’s comfortable with it, don’t tell your friends, keep your mouth shut.

Size doesn’t matter. Don’t be lazy. Be open and honest.. Clit is wonderful, but isn’t always
necessary. If it came down to one thing about sex- just talk to each other.

91. Zoe Says:

November 10th, 2008 at 8:21 am

Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about sex. If something’s not working for you, be nice about
it, but SPEAK UP!!!! The best way to make them comfortable enough to do the same, is to do it
first. I promise you, if you do it right nobody’s feelings will get hurt. Try making a few gentle
suggestions like “Mmm, that feels good…i think it would be really sexy if you _____ .” But always
avoid criticizing.
Oh, and, guys…try and give a little positive reinforcement. If your girl is on top, don’t just sit there
and stare. Yeah, I know, we look great on top. Nothing wrong with just enjoying the ride and
admiring the view. But you have to give us a little something. Be more vocal!! Say what you’re
thinking about our tits, how sexy we look with our hair in our eyes, the way we bite our lips. And
little appreciative moan or grunt now and then goes a long way. (Never fake it!!!) But unless she
has fantasies about fucking a ninja, try and remember that you’re not in your high school bedroom
Everyone’s a little different. Always listen. Don’t ever be afraid to try something new and different,
and even (super) kinky. But try your best to give some notice.

Oh and, by the way…no girl has ever been fooled by someone trying to “sneak it in the back door”.
We both know that’s not my pussy!!!! Come on, be a gentleman, fingers first!

92. rachel Says:

November 10th, 2008 at 8:28 am

I think the biggest tips I could tell a man is not to make assumption about what a woman likes, such
as: don’t assume she’ll appreciate you going down on her or that roughness is going to be a turn on.

And to the young men: if you’re not going to even try to please the woman, then you can’t get
angry when she kicks you off.

93. SerFox Says:

November 10th, 2008 at 5:04 pm

21 of 26 18.01.2009 01:14
10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex | Just A Guy Thing

Number 3 made me cringe, but I notice that for gay men most of these don’t apply. We get it easy
and it is much like a porno, threesomes? Yeah, screaming orgasms? Definately…

Great read though, was quite amusing.

94. zimzam Says:

November 10th, 2008 at 9:00 pm

To the poster who cant believe women make an excuse NOT to have sex and wondered why
women say they dont want sex because of headaches.

I dont know if you have tried to have sex with a headache but i have, and ohh my god its awful! I
started having sex and got a headache during the act, oh its like the worst headache ever, makes you
feel like your brain is about to explode with the pressure!!! Try having sex with a headache and i
swear the blood pressure from being aroused and breathing differently will make it worse!
Its the same when masturbating also, even if i really want to continue, it becomes unbearable!, and
thats just a severe headache and not a migraine.

Something i wish id have been told - ‘Its not always about the Orgasm, take time just exploring each
other, even if neither of you climax, if you dont then its not really a big deal’

95. Virginie Says:

November 10th, 2008 at 9:52 pm

After reading a few comments from mostly men, but also women, I realized that many will say “all
women… most women…”. Well most women are not the same in bed; take it from a lesbian. Some
women like a fast hammering, while others feel more comfortable with nice and sensual in and out.
Some like to be dominated while others will enjoy taking over their partner, even though it may not
seem like it in their everyday life… I’m sorry to tell you this guys, but the key is to talk WITH
YOUR PARTNER about what she likes. Don’t have to wait until it’s done and you are half asleep.
Ask her about what you are doing in the moment, if she likes it, she wants it faster or softer, etc.
You feel stupid to do it first few times and it has taken me a few women until I had the nerve to ask
it, but believe me, it will bring you a lot.
And being lesbian doesn’t make it any different… We’re still women and complicated.

To make it simple: You can’t know if you don’t ask.

96. Hannah Says:

November 10th, 2008 at 10:38 pm

Unlike most girls’, my first time was great. Did’nt hurt a bit. But guys-
liitle something too!

97. Yuvens Says:

November 13th, 2008 at 6:34 pm

hi buddy..u use marriot bathrobes..which marriot hotel was that..

98. reader Says:

November 16th, 2008 at 3:16 am

I’m a female and after reading the comments i feel like i’m missing out. My boyfriend started to go
down on me once, and told me it tasted bad and hasn’t done it ever again. And he’s only fingered
me longer than 10 seconds once. I don’t know what to do. He tells me that since I enjoy getting my
ass spanked, and since he likes spanking it, that its even to the blow jobs i give him.

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10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex | Just A Guy Thing

99. Zoe Says:

December 1st, 2008 at 8:31 am

Ok, reader…you need to dump him. With a quickness. He seems like a prick, and not worth your
time. I’m sure you taste great…I bet he’s gay.

100. yieco Says:

December 13th, 2008 at 4:52 am

i like this site, it many thing to learn.

101. anon. Says:

January 7th, 2009 at 5:15 am

I agree with all except the ’sex isn’t always like a porno’.

With the right person, it always IS.

102. chickmagnetstuff Says:

January 7th, 2009 at 6:58 am

great article enjoyed reading it

103. glamourshots Says:

January 8th, 2009 at 10:24 pm

been following your article nice one!

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