UNTOANITY

³The Decent of Silvio Berlusconi from Heaven´ by Ignazio La Russa. As described in the Book of Bunga Bunga

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Nativity1 God looked down upon the world with a heavy heart for he was stricken with much grief at the moral decay of man. And so the lord created a son to send to the earth and be the paragon of his mortal self spreading his message of love and forgiveness to his subjects. And, behold, the lord took one hundred heavenly angels of the fairer sex into his heavenly abode and did make merry with them for many a long night2 until their wombs were heavy with life. And each and every angel did so produce a male child in the lord·s image. And the Lord took his children and forthwith fused them to produce one heavenly child. Then the Lord did take a mortal child from the wombs of its mother Maria of the tribe of Bosi, who had been bearing the child for nine full moons, and did so replace it with the heavenly child. And so Maria of the tribe of Bosi, wife of Mario of the Berlusconi, gave birth to the heavenly child Silvio of Milan. And, behold, this child infused with the radiance of one hundred heavenly children was sent out into the world to spread the Lord·s word to all mankind. For as the child doth say to his disciples in humbleness, ''I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I am a patient victim, I sacrifice myself for everyone.''3 For Silvio of Milan is the true prophet and the

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An excerpt from The Book of Bunga Bunga The text later specifies that this occurred over the course of five days (Ruby 13:2) which holds signifigance to the followers of Untoanity as it forms the basis of many of their rituals, notably the sacred festival of Bunga Bunga. 3 2006, at a campaign rally www.life.com/gallery/30172/image/88883433#index/5

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harbinger of truth. And in so taking Jesus· name doth he taketh back the title of the true savior and the Son of God from the false prophet.

What is Untoanity Untoanity (from Italian ³Unto del Signore´ literally ³anointed one´) is a monotheistic faith that was founded in the late 20th century in Italy by the prophet Silvio Berlusconi. Adherents to the Untoian faith are known as Berlusconians or Untoians. Untoanity teaches that the only way to paradise is through the teachings of Berlusconi and adhering to the six principles of the Untoian faith. Untoanity currently has over two million adherents.

³I have for a long time been a Berlusconian and forever will be.´ ± Bill Clinton, former president of the United States.

6 Principles of Untoanity The Six Principles, or Sei Principi (Italian), according to The Book of Bunga Bunga (the holy book of Untoanity), is a list of religious and moral imperatives that were given by God to the people of Italy from the villa located at the Costa Smeralda4. The Book of Bunga Bunga56 describes their form as being spoken by God and subsequently as an inscription God wrote with

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Villa Certosa, Silvio Berlusconi's holiday home on the Costa Smeralda in Sardinia.

The Book of Bunga Bunga derives its name from the Untoian ritual of Bunga Bunga. Bunga Bunga is a ritual in Untoanity that must 6 be practiced at least once in man¶s lifetime. It is an erotic ritual and a sort of underwater orgy where twenty nude young women encircle the nude host and/or his friends in his swimming pool. There are also striptease contests where women wear erotic costumes. The winners of these contests traditionally win the privilege of sleeping with the host as well as cash or jewelry. www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1367180/Silvio-Berlusconis-Bunga-Bunga-parties-Women-wore-AC-Milan-shirts-stripteases.html 6 According to Untonian texts, God had sex with one hundred angels over the course of a five day period. Mathematically speaking, this amounts to a staggering twenty inseminated angels a day. From this stems the Bunga Bunga ritual which is the religious reenactment of the creation of Silvio Berlusconi. The twenty naked women in the ritual that swim about one man is representational of one day in creation. The stripping of the outfits symbolizes their rejecting of the temporary and unimportant role society, the center left coalition, and the devil have forced upon them and the acceptance of God¶s love and the role they serve to him. The winner of the stripping competition receives the honor of playing the part of the Mother Maria.

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his finger on two naked girls of a young age, which God gave to Berlusconi. The Sux Principles are recognized as the moral foundation in Untoanity. The Six Principles threaten punishment for those who are gay and promise love for those who fornicates with many7; condemn the killing of a women who still ovulates for she can still bear children8 ; that man should follow the lord¶s example and not often be adulterous9; honor thy women and worship their beauty; practice the Bunga Bunga; and honor the Cessa. For when the Lord created Silvio of Milan, he toiled for five straight days with the heavenly angels. On the sixth he rested and as such, every sixth day man must cease from bunga bunga and rest.

³Only by opening up your heart to Silvio can one enter the gates of paradise.´ ± Former governor of South Carolina Mark Sanford when questioned about his extramarital affair with an Argentinean woman.

Sermon at Aquila10 And so the lord wrought upon the people of L·Aquila5 a great and terrible earthquake that split the earth in two and cast the people of L·Aquila to the hills and camps on the outskirts of the cursed place. For great was the Lords

³Better to be fond of beautiful girls than gay.´ - 2010, at a motorcycle show explaining why his sex scandals do not matter. www.life.com/gallery/30172/image/88883433#index/21 8 After the family of Eluana Englaro (who had been comatose for 17 years) succeeded in having her right to die recognized by the judges and getting doctors to start the process of allowing her to die in the way established by the court, Berlusconi issued a decree to stop the doctor from letting her die. Stating that, "This is murder. I would be failing to rescue her. I'm not a Pontius Pilate", Berlusconi went on to defend his decision by claiming that she was "in the condition to have babies", arguing that comatose women were still subject to menstruation. www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/feb/08/englaro-italy-vatican 9 "I am pretty often faithful.´ - 2006, Berlusconi on accusations of being a playboy
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An excerpt from The Book of Bunga Bunga

L'Aquila (Italian pronunciation: [ la kwila], meaning "The Eagle") is a city and comune in central Italy, both the capital city of the Abruzzo region and of the Province of L'Aquila.

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anger against L·Aquila and all who inhabited it. But the lord was also merciful and sent Silvio to do his work and comfort the people. And so Silvio walked among the populace and offered console through the fondling and cupping of a great and many breasts.6 For so teacheth the Lord that all women find comfort in a man·s grasp and should flee to men·s open arms in times of distress. But this was no time for distress, for as the lord Silvio Berlusconi sayeth that ´Of course, their current lodgings are a bit temporary. But they should see it like a weekend of camping.µ7 For Silvio was a wise man and knew that their plight was not so terrifying. Forthwith, the Lord saw an African priest of a well tanned nature. The lord complimented the heathen·s tan and then embraced the man and solemnly told him, ´hold me tight and call me Papa.µ8 For the man prayed to false idols and so whished the Lord that that man fall upon his knees and embrace his divinity. For the Lord is the man·s holy father and the man, and all his brethren, are the Lord·s children.

The Book of Bunga Bunga

Two days after the 2009 L'Aquila earthquake, devastating the capital city of the Abruzzo region and causing more than 290 deaths, Berlusconi asked woman councilor Lia Beltrami, "Can I fondle you?" on a tour of an earthquake site. www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2416229.ece 13 www.life.com/gallery/30172/image/88883433#index/3 14 As he toured the camps Berlusconi spotted the priest and joked: ³You have a nice tan,´ then he turned to an African Red Cross worker and said: ³You've got a tan as well - I wish I could stay here and get some sun.´ He then grabbed the embarrassed volunteer before smiling broadly and telling him: ³Hold me tight and call me Papa.´ www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1170655/Hes-AGAIN-Berlusconi-tells-black-priest-I-wish-I-time-tannedyou.html#ixzz1HKoSvYF0

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The Book of Bunga Bunga was written by Saint Monica, who was elected to sainthood, and a prominent position in the Italian government, based upon her past experience as a model, an actress, and what Berlusconi described as, ³doing the Lord¶s work.´ The Book of Bunga Bunga tells of the life and teachings of Silvio of Milan as well as the origins of life itself and the fate of men at death. The Book of Bunga Bunga has been translated into over twenty five languages.

³I wrote the song [All My Bitches Love Me] with the Lord¶s teachings in mind. I¶m a very holy man.´ The rapper Gucci Mane when interviewed by Oprah on the O¶. To which he later added, ³Have you accepted Berlusconi as your lord and savior?´

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