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March 30, 2011 — April 12, 2011

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4 March 30, 2011 fab

34227 ABKAX0001M-JA-2E_KASA JournalAd_E3.indd 1 10-12-23 6:59 PM
Published since 1994 CONTENTS
#421 March 30–April 12, 2011
Brandon Matheson

Matt Mills
Drew Rowsome & Matt Thomas
Lesley Fraser
Paul Bellini, Drasko Bogdanovic, Rolyn Chambers,
Michael Lyons, Heroine Marks, Max MacDonald,
Jonathan Valelly & Phil Villeneuve
Drasko Bogdanovic, Tony Fong, Lindsay Lozon,
Heroine Marks & Drew Rowsome
Ryan Carter, John Crouch, Ryan English,
Michael Lyons, Eduardo Sabate & Jonathan Valelly

Ken Hickling
Brian Garrison THE GAY OASIS
Eugene Coon
John Webster
Cassidy Phillips
Lucinda Wallace
Leslie Miller
Darryl Mabey, Andrew Tran & Bryce Stuart
Joel Cembal

Craig Palmer
Ted Hawkins
SUBSCRIPTIONS (26 issues): In Canada C$55.95; United States US$63; all other
countries: US$115. Distribution & subscription inquiries 416-644-520 JONATHAN
491 Church St, Ste 200, QUICK, SEXY
Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4Y 2C6 AND CHEAP
Tel: 416-925-6665 Fax: 416-925-6674 GAYCATIONS
The appearance of anyone in this magazine is no guarantee that they are gay (just fab).
Distributed free in Toronto, Ottawa, Hamilton and London and sold for $4.50 on selected
newsstands across Canada. 6 LETTERS 24 BELLINI AT LARGE
Submissions and letters to the editor are welcome, but we are not responsible for unsolicited
material and cannot acknowledge receipt. We do not consider anonymous submissions. 7 EDITORIAL 25 GAY AGENDA
Printed and Published in Canada. ©2011 Pink Triangle Press
fab is published every two weeks by Pink Triangle Press
Directors: Jim Bartley, Gerald Hannon, Peter Kingstone, Jennifer O’Connor,
Maureen Phillips, Ken Popert, Gillian Rodgerson & Tori Smith 22 STYLE 33 TOGETHER
Honorary Director: Colin Brownlee 23 TUNES 34 fab GUY
President & Executive Director: Ken Popert
Publisher & Editor-at-Large: David Walberg
Chief Operating Officer: Andrew Chang
Pink Triangle Press is a not-for-profit corporation, with offices in Toronto and
Cover Credits
Vancouver publishing fab and Xtra and operating & Photography: Lindsay Lozon,
No unauthorized reproduction, in whole or in part, without the
written consent of the publisher.
Models: Jay @ Velocci Models, Swimwear: Priape, 501 Church St,
Towel: Ralph Lauren @ The Bay Hair, makeup and styling: Paul Langill,
fab March 30, 2011 5

Masculine squealing to have sex with” portion of the fab gay sex survey 2011. Our question
My inner eight-year-old girl squealed with delight when I read your (we couldn’t find any conclusive evidence online) regarded the
manly report on Masculathon [“Man Versus the Man,” fab #420, hairiness of the mayor’s chest — information the illustrator urgently
March 16]. Working with the hilarious Paul Bellini and all of the needs.]
talented Masculettes has been a total blast, and we can’t wait to As I promised during the mayoralty election, I am dedicated to
share more macho fun with all of you as the story unfolds. delivering customer service excellence, creating a transparent and
The Man is the living embodiment of Manhood and the Overlord accountable government, reducing the size and cost of government
of Masculathon. Also, he’s an Aries and enjoys the music of Anne and building a transportation city.
Murray. And let there be no doubt: Paul Bellini is THE MAN. I will continue to work on behalf of the taxpayers to make sure
Thanks for your support, fab, and don’t forget to check out new you get the respect you deserve.
episodes every Thursday at This note is to confirm that we have received your email and
— Josh Levy that we are looking into your matter.
Please feel free to follow up to check the status of your email.
Missing bears Thanks again and have a great day.
Very interesting magazine you have. I see you have many articles Yours truly,
about bears (though oddly, I can’t find a single photo of the majestic — Mayor Rob Ford
beasts in your pages). We have much in common: I like bears, too. We’re all in this together.
Particularly bear jerky.
— The Man Oops: Our apologies to cover models Scott Major and Ben LaPierre:
PS: Please feed my carrier pigeon, Lucy, before you send her back; we neglected to identify them in the cover credits of the last issue.
she likes pine cones and JD. Further apologies to Major and to InkedKenny for an unfortunate
photo crop that appeared to remove Major’s shoulder and upper arm
His Honour is hot — a body modification not discussed in the article.
Thank you for your email. [Mayor Ford’s office responds to a con-
gratulatory email from fab — phone messages were not returned — on YOUR OPINIONS MATTER TO US!
His Honour’s high ranking in the “celebrity you would most/least like Send your raves, rants and comments to:

Peek inside our Pink Box

to pick up fab and Xtra
In addition to our purple Xtra and blue
fab boxes, we’ve added a flashy new pink
combination box for your pleasure.

6 March 30, 2011 fab

Free home

1208 Broadview
with all

Have gays,
will travel
Kowal Sales Representative
BROKERAGE, INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED (office) 416-461-9900 • (direct) 416-666-4410

friend coined a new word that could serve as an invaluable
part of our modern lexicon. As flock is to seagull and pride is
to lion, “scorch” is the word he uses for any number of gay Canadian immigration Lawyers
men who travel in a group. It is his tongue-in-cheek reference to the
effect flaming fires have on anything they touch. Whether a scorch w w w. a p p l y 2 c a n a d a . c o m
is large or small, the advantage of going places as part of one is that
any destination can become the source of a gay old time. roBert i. BLansHay,
When travelling somewhere that’s not explicitly gay, a scorch immigration Lawyer
can subtly turn a gathering into a crazy bent party by setting the Certified by the Law Society of Upper Canada as a
right mood. An experienced scorch has the social ability to draw Specialist in Immigration / Refugee Law
out other gays in the most unlikely of places because, after all, we
are everywhere. But something truly special happens when
Ask us about a FREE 30-minute consultation!
multiple scorches pick a destination and go there habitually en
masse. This is how we end up with gay destinations like Puerto
Vallarta, Provincetown and Palm Springs. 228 Gerrard Street East, Toronto, Ontario M5A 2E8
With Palm Springs, the early film studios’ stipulation that stars
T: 416-413-4955 F: 416-413-1649 E:
under contract stay close to Hollywood led to the development of a
secluded desert oasis for closeted stars. As the years rolled on,
more scorches flocked to the city until it became a gay destination
rife with steamy resort spots. Puerto Vallarta developed into a gay
mecca after a string of gay businesses and clubs opened, earning
the city a reputation as an inclusive getaway. Provincetown’s gay
scene grew out of an early-1900s artist colony and the arrival of the
beatniks in the 1920s. Scorch after scorch followed until it grew
into the most popular gay resort on the East Coast.
Each gay locale has its own quirky beginnings, but the common General and Cosmetic Dentistry
impetus was the fact that there is safety in numbers. When people
complain that these places have become too expensive or touristy,
they often suggest the creation of new hot spots, but with shifting
attitudes and laws, the need for these protected spaces is not pressing
Dr.Martin Sterling
enough for the same phenomenon to play out. But there is still plenty Dr.Stephen Forgacs
of new territory to explore.
In this issue Jonathan Valelly suggests some inexpensive and Associates
vacation destinations that may not immediately come to mind
when you think of gay tourism. While places like Halifax, Hamilton
and Philadelphia may not offer the sheer volume of gays that other
cities or resort towns do, there are lots of great gay adventures to be
had. Many small towns have at least one gay bar that plays host to
a cast of unique and interesting characters guaranteed to entertain
any scorch open to partying with new people. The best thing about
travelling to smaller destinations is that the people you meet are
more likely to notice your presence. The new-car smell your scorch
gives off will bring the boys to your yard. A good vacation isn’t just
the result of what you see or do; it’s also about who you meet —
Early Morning and Evening Appointments
and good people are everywhere. 2 Bloor Street West, Suite 1904 416.923.8042
Matt Thomas

fab March 30, 2011 7

Boys will be girls
“I once danced a show in the street with a car’s headlights for lighting,” says Yury Ruzhyev, who
performs under the name Yura. “The woman who hired me sat in the car while my audience, the
man who was her lover and his wife, watched from a balcony. It was foggy and probably one of the most
awkward and memorable acts ever.” Yura’s Viva Cabaret features parodies, live singing, clowning, dancing,
magic and ballet. “Drag personas are created by their owners and have characters, names, attitudes and
looks. That’s an amazing art form, but that’s not me. I am a trained theatre and film actor and work in a
different genre. I do impersonations.” Ruzhyev’s one-man theatrical performance is a tribute to the great
divas, past and present, including Marlene Dietrich, Edith Piaf, Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, Liza Minnelli,
ABBA, Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Elvis Presley, James Brown and Britney Spears. “This month I am premiering
Bette Midler and Whitney Houston. And this summer, Lady Gaga.” — Michael Lyons
Viva Cabaret begins Wed, April 6 at 8pm and runs the first Wednesday of every month at the Gladstone Hotel,
1214 Queen St W.

Bridezilla bested “Since I can’t get married or

adopt a child in the state of
“Inspiration for the actual plot came from many real-life events; I noticed
New York, I can’t possibly be
that in a culture where everything is focused on romantic relationships, it
an impartial judge of a citizen
is often friendships that last longer and are more fulfilling,” says Bil Antoniou
when I am considered a
of his new comedy, The Best Men. “It strikes me as odd when people
second-class one in the eyes
choose boyfriends or girlfriends over their friends, and writing a play about of this justice system.”
it felt like the best way to respond.” Three gay guys and their straight, Out actor Jonathan D Lovitz explains
hopelessly romantic, groom-to-be best friend launch into a comedy of why he should be excused from jury
manners: the flowers are bought, the cake arrives and the wedding is ready to go, except for the fact that everyone duty. The judge agreed.
hates the bride. As the old saying goes, “Life’s a bitch, and then your best friend marries one.” The romantic relation-
ships may be a mess, but it is the men’s friendships that The Best Men celebrates. Antoniou promises as many witty, “It’s not because he didn’t want
sophisticated one-liners as there are bawdy, scatological jokes and adds, “I surrounded myself with a cast of very to. He didn’t have the money.”
Nicola Formichetti explains why his
cute guys so that I wouldn’t be bored during the rehearsal process.” — Michael Lyons
Mugler fashion muse, Rick Genest, has
The Best Men runs Wed, April 6 to Sun, April 10 at Bread & Circus, 299 Augusta Ave. tattoos everywhere except his penis.

“I asked him, ‘Are you high,

and can I have some?’ And he
Live and screaming said no to both.”
Art can be experienced in a variety of canned mediums, but live Bruce Vilanch tells Vulture magazine
events add a frisson of connection between performers and the that James Franco was substance-
free at the Oscars.
audience. DJs Cozmic Cat and Denise Benson add live music
promotion to their curricula vitae with Cherry Bomb Live. Ghost “Did you see Glee this week?
Stories brings spine-tingling horror to the stage. Neither experience Sickening! And besides, shoving
would be the same on an iDevice, but which is fiercer? the gay thing down our throats,
FIERCENESS they made a mockery of
QUOTIENT SNL alum and now active Tea Partier
CROWD Either way your throat Victoria Jackson writes about Glee’s
Screaming with enthusiasm Screaming in terror will burn— good thing same-sex kiss in an editorial for
REACTION both are licensed
World Net Daily (“A free press for
Tomboyfriend (political a free people since 1997”).
Guitars and gutsy vocals
agitpop), La Bomba (hip hop A handful of Canadian actors
PERFORMERS vs plummy accents and 12 million
and reggaeton) and MC mimicking the British originals
gut-wrenching gasps
Bonjay Average number of viewers of each
episode of Glee.
POST-SHOW DJ Nino Brown spins with
Seeing who has fainted, Both events should leave
Cozmic Cat and Denise “For the first time I was going,
PLEASURES vomited or fled you staggering
‘Huh. Okay. So, wait. Being gay
isn’t cool with everyone?’”
Cherry Bomb Live is explicitly gay and makes us wet with excitement, but it’s also fun to be so scared you wet your Actor Daniel Radcliffe reminisces
pants. — Drew Rowsome about high school.
Cherry Bomb Live is Fri, April 8 at The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St W. Ghost Stories begins Fri,
April 1 at the Panasonic Theatre, 651 Yonge St.

fab March 30, 2011 8

Employment @
careers that build community

REPORTER — XTRA (Toronto office)

Canada’s premier gay and lesbian publi- You are a well-organized stickler for detail
cation is looking for a full-time reporter and you realize that your colleagues
for our Toronto office. depend on your ability to meet deadlines.

As members of Xtra’s editorial staff This is a full-time salaried position. Xtra

our Reporters create and support the provides a generous benefits package,
development of hard news content for three weeks’ annual vacation and an en-
Xtra. With the support of an editor, you ergetic, progressive work environment.
will investigate and write fearless but
thoughtful stories of specific interest If you have the qualifications outlined
to gay and lesbian audiences. above and know you are the right fit for
this job, send your resumé and samples
You have a solid background in advo- of your work to the Editorial Director.
cacy journalism, strong writing skills We will fill this position as soon as we find
and knowledge of editorial standards the right candidate.
and defamation law. You have a keen
news sense: you are able to identify
significant story leads, jump on them Email:
instantly and follow them to the very Drop off or mail:
end. You are comfortable producing Matt Mills
stories across media, in print, online Editorial Director
and in video. You can work indepen- Xtra / Pink Triangle Press
dently and as part of a team. 491 Church St, Ste 200
Toronto ON, M4Y 2C6
You support our work and are familiar with
Toronto’s gay and lesbian communities No phone calls or personal
and their politics. You have a sophisticated visits, please
understanding of sexual politics. You are Xtra is an equal opportunity employer
often skeptical of what you read in the
mainstream press and will seize every
opportunity to explore our issues from
unique angles.


fab March 30, 2011 9

a c k i n’
C r


$ 1 0 E A C H O R $ 4 0 6 - PA C K

isitors to the Hang Man Gallery will be greeted
by blacked-out windows concealing the show
within, Naked Man Staring at You. Because many
of the photos feature full-frontal male nudity and
even erections, visitors are advised to be prepared.
Drasko Bogdanovic, fab guy photographer, is, as usual,
pushing the boundaries of erotic imagery.
“With black-and-white images, the graphic element of pornog-
raphy is reduced,” says Bogdanovic. “But the gaze of a naked man
is still there, teasing the viewer into submission, creating a game of
arousal and tension, not shy on filth. The portrait style of these
photographs creates an intimate relationship between the subject,
a man comfortable with his body and sexuality, and the viewer.
Viewing itself is a source of pleasure, just as there is pleasure
shop online!
in being viewed. There is an implicit agreement between the W W W. C O M E A S Y O U A R E . C O M
watcher and the watched — the promise of sex. There are no Naked Man Staring at You runs Tues, April 1–Sun, April 24 at
7 0 1 Q U E E N S T. W E S T (just west of bathurst) | 416.504.7934
rules, sexuality has no bounds, and all is right with the the Hang Man Gallery, 756 Queen St E. The opening reception
W O R K E R O W N E D & O P E R AT E D ! | W H E E L C H A I R A C C E S S I B L E
perverse.” — Drew Rowsome is Sat, April 9 at 7pm.

10 March 30, 2011 fab fab March 30, 2011 11

P a l m S p r i n
t he g
g s
ay oasis

Drew Rowsome
experiences the heat
and pleasures of
Palm Springs, California
12 March 30, 2011 fab
he polite invi-
tation to join the
six-man gangbang bubbling in the
hot tub comes from a naked man
who looks — face, pecs and erect

penis — suspiciously like Roman

Ragazzi. And why not? Pornstars
must take vacations and where
better than Palm Springs’
All Worlds Resort, where
hundreds of gay porn
films have been shot?
The operatic utter-
ances of the sextupled
bottom fade into the distance
away from the main pool area. Past
The hot tu
the steamroom into the maze of b and poo
l at IN Ndu
suites and smaller pools, doors are lge in the
early morn
casually ajar and men move through ing.
the shadows on casual quests for adventure.
After a day in the sun sleep beckons, but
there are too many temptations in a Palm
Springs night.
Palm trees, that eternal symbol of vaca-
tion paradise, are actually a giant form of
grass — “grass on steroids,” according to
Morgan Levine, a Desert Adventures guide.
They also require massive amounts of water.
Palm Springs sits on an enormous aquifer
from which hot spring water bubbles in
places. Surrounded by mountains, the desert
paradise is a giant oasis.
In the 1940s and ’50s, Hollywood — an
hour and half drive from Palm Springs —
was a different place for gay men. A revealing
photograph or insinuating story could derail
a career and turn a straight stud into a nelly
dud overnight. Stars of any consequence
were under contract and had to stay within
a 100-mile radius of the studios to be readily
available. Needing a place to party that was
safe from prying eyes, closeted stars like
Rock Hudson, Cary Grant and Liberace built
gated pleasure palaces in Palm Springs. The
desert town became a gay oasis in a parched ograph) at The
th e po ol (su its on for the phot
straight world. Hanging by
Decades later Palm Springs is still a gay
destination, but there are no closets any-
where. It is estimated that 40 percent
of Palm Springs’ resident population

Getting there
is gay, and the mayor and three out
of seven city councillors are as well.
All buildings are garnished with rainbow
flags next to the obligatory Stars
and Stripes, and, as Bob the
housekeeper/office manager The Palm Springs Airport, with its open-air lobby
of the Camp Palm Springs — the Sonny Bono Causeway — is a short jaunt
resort explains, “We’re so gay from Palm Springs central. WestJet offers direct
here. If a business isn’t gay-owned, flights that make Palm Springs as convenient as
they’re gay-friendly. Otherwise they’d Florida or Vegas.
have no business.”

fab March 30, 2011 13

Beyond the sun
The Living Desert: Feed a giraffe, brave a Artwalk: A group of artists take over a strip mall and
glassed-in hyena, walk among butterflies and create a maze of galleries, featuring a wide variety
hummingbirds or ride the Endangered Species of artistic endeavours, theatre and poetry readings.
Carousel. Much of the sprawling park is labelled As painter Downs explains, “We rented the space
“coming soon,” but the aviaries, gardens and just to paint, but one night we forgot to lock up and
hilariously hyperactive roadrunners make for an this guy wandered in. We thought, ‘Oh no’ at first, but
While basking nude, nightclubbing and the entertaining walk in the sun. then he bought something, so now we’re open all the
resulting social interactions can make for a time.” An Art Walk is held the first Wednesday of every
satiating vacation, Palm Springs has many other Indian Canyons walking tours: There are more
month. Not to be missed are Max Lightbender’s large-
attractions and activities to offer. Each week than a hundred miles of hiking trails winding up
scale erotic digital prints.
seems to be given over to a festival of some sort, the mountain, over streams and under waterfalls
with the White Party (April 8 to 11) being the — all with stunning views. Ranger William offers Villagefest: Every Thursday the main street is
biggest gay one: a giant ferris wheel rises in the a spellbinding account of how native Americans closed to vehicular traffic and filled with booths
park and more than 10,000 men fill the town. This survived in what at first appears to be a harsh and stands. Jewellery, pet clothing, CDs, artwork
year Robyn and the Freemasons headline and landscape but is revealed to be teeming with plant and all sorts of food are on offer. Cloris Leachman
— more Palm Springs retro-queer quirkiness — and animal life. The Oasis of a Thousand Palms and Jo Anne Worley are occasionally sighted
Charo is featured. is a hauntingly tranquil six miles of otherworldly hawking their memoirs. Also a good chance to
canyon scenery. browse the downtown stores, with their accent
Desert Adventures’ San Andreas Fault Jeep on gay memorabilia, camp and uncertain fashion.
ecotours: More geology, botany and history

than you ever thought you needed to know, but
endlessly fascinating. The canyons are awe- Uptown Design District: Cheap rents turned an
inspiring, the reconstructed mining camp and abandoned area of main street into a string of
Indian settlement are a hoot and, especially in chic furniture stores and restaurants. Anyone who
light of recent events, standing with one foot on wants to add a dash of kitschy ’50s flavour to their
either side of the San Andreas Fault is a once-in-a- abode will find it in abundance. Also home to a
lifetime experience. Shag store with prints, dolls, buttons, books and a
gallery of his hilariously evocative work.
Architectural tour: Palm Springs has a
concentration of mid-century modern architecture. at the Living De
This is fascinating enough to many that a A hungry giraffe Palm Springs Aerial Tramway: Gliding
Modernism Week is held each year. Not only does 8,516 feet up the side of a mountain in a
guide Robert Imber knows his architecture: he has glass-encased revolving gondola is unnerving.
all the gossip on the stars who have inhabited the Travelling down is terrifying. The view, however,
Spa Resort and Casino: Enough slots to break
houses. (email) is spectacular and the snow-covered hiking
the budget and lots of entertainment options
trails (Palm Springs has nearby skiing all months
in the heart of downtown. The spa features
Palm Springs Art Museum: Works by David Hockney, but July and August) are a pleasant reminder of
a blissful Taking the Waters package, which
Picasso, Warhol and other major modernists, and why one is there and not back in frigid Canada.
includes eucalyptus crystals that permeate right
a large Western and native American art gallery
to the soul and immersion in the mineral-rich
featuring the homoerotic bronze castings of actor
spring waters native Americans claim are a Desert Hills Premium Outlets: A shopping junkie’s
George Montgomery. The Muse Café, by the Barbara
conduit to the underworld. Lithium is part of the fix. Hugo Boss, Prada, Dior, Gucci, Ed Hardy, The
and Frank Sinatra Sculpture Garden, is decorated with
water’s chemical makeup, which might explain Gap and more than a hundred more have outlets
large-scale photos by Sid Avery of ’50s Hollywood
both the calming effect of the treatments and in a giant mall just off the highway to Los Angeles,
royalty frolicking in Palm Springs, including a shirtless
the relaxed attitude of Palm Springs in general. north of Casino Morongo.
Rock Hudson washing his car.

Dr. Elon Griffith

& Associates

SAL MARINO Dentistry


647 202 7255
416 366 8800 (24 HR PAGER)
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Toronto ON M4Y 2R4

14 March 30, 2011 fab

Palm Springs, with its
perpetual sunshine, has long
been a mecca for naturists,
and there are numerous resorts
that cater to those who like
being al fresco in the altogether.
A large apartment complex just
north of downtown is com-
pletely clothing optional; its
covered bridge over the main
throughway means one needn’t
get dressed to cross over to the
sister resort, with its pools and
activities. The gay clothing-
optional resorts are clustered in
the Warm Sands district, just
southeast of the downtown strip
and the gay clubs and stores cen- A go-go bo
at H u n te r’s.
tred on Arenas Ave.
There is something delicious
about knowing that Shirley Temple’s Friendship
s blos
former estate is now a resort where as the sun som
gay men frolic naked and uninhibited. sets.
There are 28 resorts specifically for gay
men, and choosing the right one is

merely a matter of taste. Escape is a
1950s resort that has been modernized
without losing any of its retro flair. Triangle
Inn, with an attached private compound that’s
perfect for groups, is a prime example of Palm
Springs’ famed modernist architecture and is
planted with lush gardens. Casa Octillo has
only five rooms and functions more as a bed
and breakfast, but its Brokeback Room is
designed for cowpoke action. As Ken, one
of the co-owners of the Mediterranean-
themed La Dolce Vita resort and spa,
explains, “The fun part of having a guest-
house is getting to decorate.” At night the Mira
All the resorts have very hands-on ge
hot tub becomes
owners who take great pride in their busi- “a big
bowl of man so
nesses’ appearance; they rely on word of

It’s got everything but a stop on the way.

Non-stop to Palm Springs.

Luxurious golf courses.

Toronto to
Palm Springs
$ * Unforgettable shopping that fits any budget.
Indulge in infused cuisine.
Rest and relax.

Book by April 30 for travel on select days until April 30, 2011.*
Book today at or call your travel agent.

*Book by April 30, 2011 (11:59 pm MT) for travel on Wednesdays until April 30, 2011. Fares on other days may be higher. Taxes, fees and surcharges are extra where applicable. Fuel surcharge still applies to Air Miles™ redemption bookings. Seats at these fares
are limited and may not be available on all flights. New bookings only. 100% non-refundable. Flights may not operate on certain days. Offer combinable with other fares. All fares shown are one-way. See for details.

fab March 30, 2011 15

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16 March 30, 2011 fab
mouth and repeat customers. “It’s a clean shower, whose open window draws an
place for men to do what they do,” says instant crowd of voyeurs; and a cabinet that
James, the manager of the Atrium Mirage holds a massive room-filling Murphy bed
Vista Grande Resort: “It’s a place to frolic.” instantly eroticize the atmosphere. All Worlds
Most of the resorts lack restaurants or even Winding pathways lead to two pools and a offers day and night passes and lockers,
kitchens, but they try to outdo each other with torchlit waterfall that pours into a hot tub. making it a kind of luxurious outdoor bath-
the quality and lavishness of their continental “At night,” says James, “it’s a big bowl of house. This guarantees a rotating pool of men
breakfasts. Later in the day, there’s lots of good man soup. If you’re 400 pounds or 90, get whose age skews significantly younger than
food to be found outside the resorts. Zini Café naked and get in and have fun.” many of the clothing-optional resorts.
Mediterrano is like a neighbourhood pub but with The atmosphere at INNdulge is extremely Even more overtly sexual (and also offer-
a spectacular chef. The staff is incredibly friendly, welcoming. There’s the levelling effect of ing day and night passes) is the Cathedral
impossible to fluster and their recommendations being naked, but the mood is a testament to City Boys Club, or CCBC. Sprawling over
are perfect: the roasted beet and green-bean owners Jon and Sandy and their cheerful staff. 3.5 acres there are as many play areas (nude
salad with a slow-burning jalapeno dressing is The evening social hour is attended by almost beach, nature walk, dungeon, military com-
unforgettable. Azul’s Tapas Lounge has a beautiful everyone, and the conversation around the pound — complete with urinals and troughs
patio, and the food is inventive roadhouse and pool is filled by introductions to new friends, — and a confessional) as there are large and
plentiful. Palm Springs’ official drag ambassador, greetings of old friends and much discussion comfortable rooms. Cathedral City is a
Bella da Ball, hosts a talent night at Azul’s that is of the evening’s plans. While the rooms are 10-minute drive from Palm Springs, but it
cheesy retro and was the site of Carol Channing’s stay-in comfortable (the de rigueur condoms has a rich history of illicit activities, having
90th birthday party — ’nuff said. and lube by the bedside are supplemented by been the former location of speakeasies,
two neatly bound cumrags), it is impossible whorehouses and Lucy and Desi’s home
not to venture out into the friendly swirl (which was turned into the very first gay
Roasted beet an around the pool. After dark, the sexual under- resort). CCBC has the advantage of being
green-bean sala current becomes explicit and friendships are within stumbling distance of The Barracks,

d at

Zini. sealed in a more intimate way. a popular club famed for its Sunday Night
The resorts outside the Warm Sands area Beer Blast.
tend to be a little more specialized. In the The various clubs have rotating nights:
northern end of downtown, the leather- Arenas Rd is home to Hunter’s Video Bar’s
themed Chaps Inn’s charming blue-and-white Underwear Night, the sports/cowboy bar Score,
Swiss Miss pool design is accented with karaoke at Streetbar and pool and drag shows
stocks, a dog cage and a choice of floggers at SpurLine. Arenas is also home to Gay Mart
hung neatly beside the life buoy. Camp Palm and Bear Wear outlets and other stores, so the
Springs hosts sex parties the first Saturday of street is always full of drinkers, shoppers and
Breakfast choices are plentiful: Pinocchio in the month; slings are hung with abandon and cruising. Just down the street is Palm Springs’
the Desert’s multiple versions of eggs Benedict are always full. The View is a favourite of the leather bar, The Tool Shed, which also has
and omelettes arrive on huge platters and are West Hollywood boys who flock into town on shopping nearby at Gear Leather and Fetish.
washed down with their $3.95 bottomless the weekends. They favour Room 5: it’s the Locals and visiting clubbers trek uptown
champagne special. The King’s Highway at only one without a private patio, but it offers to Toucan’s Tiki Lounge, where Gaga,
the Ace Hotel goes retro chic in a renovated- a view of the hot tub and playroom. Britney, Beyoncé and the Pussycat Dolls are
to-distress former Denny’s with Tex-Mex East Canyon Hotel and Spa caters to a more in continual rotation on the giant video
breakfasts, tequila-cured lox and a reviving upscale crowd and is one of the rare resorts screens. The go-go boy is too musclebound
house brand of coffee. where swimsuits are required. Swimsuits are to display any dance moves, but his bored
also required at the Ace Hotel and Swim Club, demeanour is the only non-exuberant face
Bongo Johnny’s on the Arenas Rd strip creates
the resort of choice for the young and hip. A in the house. Friday nights are ruled by
massive salads and specialty burgers in an uber-
former Travelodge has been dosed in glorious Wang’s in the Desert’s happy hour, where
gay atmosphere designed for watching the action
irony, sailcloth and nautical paraphernalia the $2 drinks pack in so many weekend-
on the street. Uptown, Jake’s Ready to Eat is a
and transformed into stacks of luxuriously arrival celebrants that the crowd spills into
favourite of the fitness-conscious West Hollywood
distressed beachhouses. The crowd — and it the parking lot and onto the surrounding
boys, but the sandwiches and salads taste sinful.
is always almost full — is more queer than sidewalks.
Aspen Mills Bakery has lunch packages that
gay, with het couples and even children lurk- In the early ’50s, when Palm Springs was
include a sandwich made with fresh-baked bread,
ing about. The frat-house atmosphere — the mostly desert, Frank Sinatra built a house
a sampling of their potato salad and a cookie
main pool has a full-time DJ — is perfect for in the middle of an expanse of sand for Ava
— for those heading out on a canyon hike or
those more in need of a party than relaxing in Gardner. Whenever he awakened and was
reluctant to leave the pool (they deliver).
the sun. Ace’s motto is “Thank you for sleep- ready to start the party he would hoist a flag
Upscale choices include Trio, the restaurant ing with us,” but few actually doze. emblazoned with a bottle of Jack Daniels so
of the moment. Every dish is incredible, but All Worlds can coax any man out of his his distant neighbours would know to head
the crawfish pot pie, pot roast and mac and Speedo. It has a seedy reputation that is over. Palm Springs’ rainbow flags fly 24/7,
cheese are standouts. Tropicale infuses classic totally undercut by large clean rooms, friendly and the party never ends.
southern cooking with a touch of pan-Asian staff and well-maintained grounds. Tucked
flair. Their buttermilk-paprika boneless fried in one corner of the 2.5 acre resort is famed
chicken is an instant classic, and the mile-high pornographer Dirk Yates’ former apartment,
chocolate cake is a must. where he first conceived of the resort as a sex Drew Rowsome is an associate editor at fab
destination and film location. Bordello-red who was delighted with his mid-winter
walls; leopard-print accents; a two-man sojourn to a gay desert oasis.

fab March 30, 2011 17

Last-minute Johnathan Valelly hunts down some NEW YORK CITY CHICAGO

cheap, sexy and quick vacation fixes
What to do What to do
Many of Manhattan’s most popular gay bars Chicago is the big daddy of the Midwest; it’s
and clubs, like Splash ( and a happy mixture of fast-paced urban types
G Lounge (, are concentrated and polite Illinois boys. The appropriately
alongside the fancy restaurants and pricey titled Boystown neighbourhood is the centre
sex shops in ultra-gay Chelsea. Low-key (and for gay life, dominated by the daytime hub

t’s only April, but you’ve already slept with all your remaining Facebook friends, maxed out low-cost) alternatives are rush or lottery seats Jaemar and David chill at Woody’s. of Broadway St and the nightlife strip on
your tab at every bar on Church St and preemptively abandoned your entire summer reading list, to a Broadway show or an evening stroll Halsted St. It’s easy to get distracted at the
aside from the Speedo catalogue. What’s a gay to do? Spare yourself the headache: we’ve gathered through the innovative High Line biggest and most dependable gay club,
all the details you’ll need for a nearby trip that’s heavy on the hotties and light on the pocketbook. ( park nearby. The East Sidetrack (, but it’s
Village has something of an artier nightlife, worth hopping over to nearby Roscoe’s
with indie gay bars like Nowhere (myspace. ( or Spin (

HAMILTON MONTREAL com/nowherenyc), The Boiler Room

( and the popular parties
If you’re feeling handy, put some grunt
work in at the grittier Jackhammer
thrown by East Village Boys (eastvillageboys. ( Indie-inclined
What to do What to do com). For those looking for some good old- folks will delight in the hip Wicker Park
fashioned tail, The Cock (29 Second Ave) neighbourhood, full of cute cafés and shops,
For the traveller who doesn’t want to go too Montreal’s village comes alive in the summer isn’t far. Art fags will likely feel a magnetic Gay crowds at the Venture Inn. including queer bookshop Quimby’s
far from home, Hamilton is a Toronto gay’s when Rue Ste-Catherine turns pedestrian- draw toward the nearby New Museum for ( and the endless labyrinth
closest getaway. Although most of the gay only and the bar patios roll out endlessly. Contemporary Art ( or to of Myopic Books (
bars are in Hamilton’s crumbling downtown,
scattered hotspots like The Embassy (54 King
Dancing queens have their pick of spots.
POMPe Thursdays at Espace des arts
midtown’s Museum of Modern Art (moma.
org), and dutiful history buffs must visit gay PHILADELPHIA If you’re hunting for bears, artists, punks and
the like, try the North End’s Big Chicks
St E) and The Werx (121 Hughson St N) must ( and Mec Plus Ultra, liberation’s original front lines at the (
be doing something right to keep the boys every other Saturday at the Belmont Stonewall Inn ( in What to do
coming out. Still, a Hamilton holiday might (, are some reliable club nights Greenwich Village. What you’ll spend
better suit the low-key set, with quaint attrac- for cute guys and hot beats. Twinky types Across the bridge is ever-cool Brooklyn. The Philadelphia gaybourhood is small but
tions like Opera Ontario (, Halifax harbour view. gather monthly at the self-explanatory There are always shows and events at the fun. Just as in Toronto, its traditional gay TRANSPORTATION:
the Royal Botanical Gardens (, the Faggity Ass Fridays at the Playhouse pivotal Brooklyn Bowl (, bar/club is Woody’s ( on Roundtrip tickets booked a week ahead:
James St Art Crawl every second Friday ( and at Lucky and hipster types might make a pilgrimage 13th St, fun even on country-western night. Porter Airlines from $600, Greyhound from
(, and the Art Gallery of
Hamilton ( And
HALIFAX Sundays at Parking (
Le Stud ( is a cruisey bar, where
to Williamsburg to check out the neighbour-
hood’s queer epicentre, the Metropolitan
The welcoming Venture Inn (
and Fluid’s Finger Banger (fluidnightclub.
$155, Amtrak from $250.

there are always Karel’s Steam Baths you might find exactly that. Audiophiles ( com) party, which happens every third
( and Central Spa What to do won’t want to miss the weekly Piknic Friday, bring all types together for some hot
(, for those looking for a change Electronik (, where hand-to-hand action. Still, bears and daddies
of face from their hometown baths. Halifax just wants to party! The east coast huge acts like Tiga and Junior Boys play. may feel more at home at The Bike Stop
is easygoing, and this town has a number (, and trendy dive bars like
of dependable places for gays to gather. The What you’ll spend Bob and Barbara’s (1509 South St) put on
large, welcoming, community-oriented lots of alternative programming, like a trashy
Menz Bar ( is a sweet treat, and TRANSPORTATION: queer improv night with The Dumpsta
so is Reflections Cabaret (reflectionscabaret. Roundtrip tickets booked a week ahead: Players ( America’s
com). Music is the lifeblood of this town, Megabus from $55, Porter Airlines from oldest gay bookstore, Giovanni’s Room
and the queer-friendly Company House $650, VIA Rail from $250. (, is extensive and
( is just one of many affordable. It wouldn’t be a trip to Philly
venues where one can indulge in some local HOTEL: without sampling some local meat; the
tunes. Those looking to do a little sex shop- $90–300 per night at the Auberge Belles much-recommended downtown cheese
Broadway is ultra gay.
ping (and who isn’t?) shouldn’t miss the Vues, $69–139 per night at Hotel de Paris steak stop is Ishkabibble’s (337 South St).
cleverly named and community-oriented ( Rooms from $7.25–
Hamilton skyline.
Venus Envy ( 12.50 at the Sauna Oasis ( What you’ll spend What you’ll spend
What you’ll spend What you’ll spend TRANSPORTATION: TRANSPORTATION: Sexy shower show at Spin.
Roundtrip tickets booked a week ahead: Roundtrip tickets booked a week ahead:
TRANSPORTATION: TRANSPORTATION: Megabus from $80, Porter Airlines from Megabus from $80, Amtrak from $250, HOTEL:
Roundtrip tickets booked a week ahead: Roundtrip tickets booked a week ahead: $750, VIA Rail from $240. Air Canada $1,100. $99–159 per night at The Villa Toscana
GO Transit from $19. Porter Airlines from $500, VIA Rail from (, $29–35 per night
$420, Greyhound Canada from $315. HOTEL: HOTEL: at Hostelling International Chicago
HOTEL: $155–375 per night at the Chelsea Savoy Hotel $119–159 per night at The Alexander Inn ( Rooms $20–50 at
$131–211 per night at the Visitors Inn HOTEL: (, $30–70 per night at (, $29–35 per night Steamworks (
(visitorsinn. com), $15–50 per night at $27–68 per night at Hostelling International Whitehouse Hotel (whitehousehotelofny. at Apple Hostels (
Hamilton Guesthouse. Rooms $25–55 at Halifax ( Rooms $18–95 at com). Rooms $21–35 at the West Side Club Rooms $25–35 at Sansom Street Gym Jonathan Valelly is a fab writer who loves
Central Spa ( Seadog’s Sauna & Spa ( Hotties Jon and Yves at Parking. bathhouse ( ( being the out-of-towner at any gay bar.

18 March 30, 2011 fab fab March 30, 2011 19

Deep Dish Rolyn Chambers photos by Wingo Du

Jonathan and

emember how, when the John are tough Jonathan and Jason • Remember how those spandex-
Sailor Scouts trans- but sweet @ are here to pump clad ladies with the matching leg
AsianXpress you up @ Fit
formed on TV’s Sailor warmers from TV’s 20 Minute
Moon, you were supposed Workout were always bouncing? Well
to forget that they were Fit, the monthly party at The Beaver,
really little girls? Well, Birthday is not quite as strenuous. Ricky
boy Ricky
Donnarama’s perfor- Krueger is outside, shirtless, holding
is ready to
mance at AsianXpress a red balloon. It’s his birthday. Happy
work it out
has her changing onstage @ Fit pneumonia! For some, dancing on
from a calm white the small dancefloor without falling
tutu’ed ballerina into a down the adjacent stairs is the way
Robert, Rea, Jeff
psychotic dancer dressed J-Mag rocks to stay fit. For some, tag-teaming a
and Michael are
in black feathers à la Black runway ready the mic @ cigarette on the back patio is the way
Swan. This is the first time @ AsianXpress AsianXpress to stay fit. For DJ Phil Villeneuve
I’ve seen her do less farcical (fab’s Tunes columnist), fit means
and more forceful choreogra- “being active and keeping things
phy. “Girl, I’m sweating light. Like those Body Break ads.”
something nasty,” she heaves But to his die-hard fans, like Sheldon
afterward. Providing some McIntosh, who is going to it on the
firm sticky buns are go-go boys Kris and Phil spin tracks that would dancefloor, Villeneuve is “killing it
Farley Tarn, Dean Voon, Larry make even Hal Johnson and Joanne with the remixes.” We hear amazing
McLeod sweaty @ Fit
Au and Roel Torres. Yum. But versions of Adele’s “Rolling in
it is J-Mag who brings the house the Deep,” a feisty “Get Outta
Hannah is
down, belting out three songs, My Way” by Kylie and even the
a velvety
including “Grenade” by Bruno Mars. goddess Teddybears’ remix of “Stayin’
Flyerman is
“I  tried out for Canadian Idol when I was @ HOLA flashy in Alive.” Whew!
17,” he says. “But I still needed to sharpen leopard print
up and polish my voice and gain more @ Cherry Bomb • Remember how Charo was a recur-
experience.” I think he’s good to go now. ring guest on TV’s Love Boat but
hardly anyone could understand
• Remember when Ellen came out on her Phil wonders how many licks what she said? Well, tonight is kinda
sitcom? Well, the lesbians at Cherry Bomb it takes to get to the centre of like that at George’s Play, where the
Jason @ AsianXpress
have pretty much all come gay Latin support group, HOLA, is
out, and they’re ready to hosting a fundraiser. Everything is
party. Also roaming around in Spanish. Charming host Luis
Andy Poolhall, which is introduces the performers in
decorated with what has to Lindsay and Spanish, going to great
be Toronto’s most interest- Carla and Jen had no idea lengths to convince a visit-
ing lamp and lighting Mario are they loved balls ing queen from Montreal to
collection, are several spicy treats so much @ do a Lady Gaga number.
delectable guys. With its @ HOLA Cherry Bomb Unfortunately, Madame
intimate conversation Poutine doesn’t know the
nooks, busy pool tables words. All the other drag
and packed dancefloor, queens do their best to appease
Andy Poolhall is the per- the crowd with Spanish pop
fect spot to hear DJs Denise songs. Since it’s a charity (and the
Benson and Cozmic Cat, queens ain’t being paid) many
who are selections higher profile ladies (except for
perfection. “Local legend” Nicole Batista) aren’t present. This
Flyerman has loved Denise allows the newer ones like
thoroughly since 1991. Hannah, Chantal and Kandy
“I’m a lesbian down deep,” to really shine. I smile and
he says. “If it wasn’t for pretend I understand what’s
Denise, the lesbian club going on. That’s what they do
scene would be lost. She is Warner, on TV.
the definition of girl-on- Kevin and Clement and
girl power.” Well, she does Natalia gives new meaning JonJon are Cory get their Julian and deepdish
spice up my life. to the power suit @ HOLA out for a cherries Christopher are
Chris and Levi get a good time John and Flynn are ready popped @ bushmen for the night
20 March 30, 2011 fab little tipsy @ HOLA @ HOLA to float away @ Fit Cherry Bomb @ Cherry Bomb fab March 30, 2011 21
STYLE Max MacDonald

Fashion Week foreplay

he excitement generated by the gawk in somewhat sweltering conditions.
events that happen before the official However, Sparks’ collection didn’t disappoint,
launch of LG Fashion Week some- and his loyal fans cheered the new take
times seem to overshadow opening night. on his signature looks,
Over the past few seasons a few have kicked updated for fall.
serious ass while helping bridge the show- Sparks offered
manship gap between European and a cornucopia of
Canadian fashion industry events. coats in various
Last season the best examples of this lengths, including
phenomenon were Evan Biddell’s show at some trimmed with
Converse loves villains.
Seven Continents, in a beautifully decorated fleece; well-tailored suits; and a
room full of dressmaker forms; Greta and uniquely designed charcoal jacket. One of brainchild of mixologist Julien Salomone.
Ezra Constantine’s two-floor fashion happen- the best new pieces was a black wool-and- On Wednesday, March 30, Boutique Bar
ing in a Queen West building; and Dimitri linen tuxedo blazer matched with pleated hosts Fashion With Benefits in celebration
Chris, Joeffer Coac and NADA’s show at the trousers. Not only is this a twist on a modern of LG Fashion Week. The Benefit Cosmetics
Brickworks, which saw Audi convertibles classic, it is a stunning outfit for both day beauty bar will provide complimentary
driven down the runway. It seems these and evening outings. makeup touch-ups throughout the night.
highly creative and innovative events are
challenging how designers present their lines
in Toronto, and that’s exciting.
Here are the shows you don’t want to miss as Converse has paired up with DC Comics to
PHILIP SPARKS LG Fashion Week 2011 rolls out at Exhibition launch a new line of sneakers for spring/
On Monday, March 21, Toronto’s most influential Place’s Heritage Court: summer. The line raises the bar for ultra cool
fashion bloggers, journalists and personalities Rudsak: Thursday, March 31 at 6pm by giving superheroes their own shoes.
gathered at the Burroughes Building on Queen Klaxon Howl: Friday, April 1 at 6 pm For those who want something extra special,
St W to view Philip Sparks’ fall/winter menswear one pair in this collection has the good guys
and women’s collections. The packed sixth-floor — Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and
venue was standing room only, leaving folks to The Flash — on the right foot and the villains
STYLISH APÉRITIFS — The Penguin, The Joker and Lex Luther — on
Fashion Week is coming to Church St. If the the left. $69
Sparks tuxedo. glare of the bright runway lights combined

with the red-carpet stress and gratuitous Available: Get Outside, 437 Queen St W.
air-kissing has worn you down, Boutique
Bar has an alternative. Located at 506
Church St, this stylish cocktail lounge is the

Boutique Bar
gets stylish.

22 March 30, 2011 fab

TUNES Phil Villeneuve

Sunny spring songs

I always relate music to weather, and I shamelessly continue
this trend by presenting y’all with some music for spring-cleaning.
Whatever kind of cleaning you need.
Yelle Ellie Goulding
Though it’s not as bright Lights
and carefree as her flaw- I always thought Ellie
less dance debut, and Goulding sounded like
there aren’t any songs that speeded-up female
about French MCs’ small voice sample in every
penises (check out the other hip-hop song these
past hit “Je Veux Te Voir”), days. I wrote her off as an
French dance-pop fire- annoying English nymph.
cracker Yelle’s new album Then I heard Lights and
is still an automatic party Jamaica No Problem REM Collapse Into Now was slapped in the face
starter. Even if you don’t by its shimmering pop
Jamaica is that kind of French duo that looks so dirty, Michael Stipe and the boys’ new one is nothing for the
speak or understand a production and romantic
it’s sexy. This big, ecstatic house-rock debut was pro- record books. However, it’s a solidly catchy new album
word she sings, this is choruses. Unfortunately, it
duced by Xavier de Rosnay (one of the guys behind and worth hearing for its collaborations with Peaches,
essential future-pop is like being slapped by a
Justice) and Daft Punk sound engineer Peter Franco, Joel Gibb from The Hidden Cameras, and Patti Smith — a
music. The first single, flirty bear from the Black
so the record has a big sound. While there’s no hint of crazy standout called “Blue.” Save this one for summer
“Safari Disco Club,” is Eagle. Enjoyable, but still
reggae on the record, the band name does carry true in listening — it’s very sunny.
literally about animals kind of annoying.
the vibe: pure fun dipped in sunshine.
Playlist ple
dancing and escaping
reality. And then there’s
“Chimie Physique” — a
modern-day “Physical JOHN CAFFREY Mighty Real @ The Beaver The songs two of a
my favourite Toronto DJs

1. “I Wrote the Book,” Beth Ditto are spinning lately

2. “Love Thing Pt 2” (DJ Medhi Club Mix), Eli Escobar
3. “My House,” Hercules & Love Affair
4. “Leave House” (Motor City Drum
Ensemble Remix), Caribou
5. “Anytime,” Duck Sauce
Duran Duran
All You ALESSANDRO I Pop Machine @ WAYLA
Need Is Now 1. “Hello,” Martin Solveig, ft Dragonette Wolfe
Apparently this is the 2. “S&M,” Rihanna Weaver
“follow-up” to Rio, and
luckily Simon Le Bon’s
3. “Till the World Ends,” Britney Spears
of Dreams
4. “Moment 4 Life,” Nicki Minaj, ft Drake
voice sounds just about Forget Michael Bublé
as youthful as it did on 5. “Rolling in the Deep” (Jamie xx Shuffle Remix), Adele
and check out this local
that 1982 album. This singer. Wolfe’s album
is a fresh electro-rock was released back in
take that sounds like a
completely natural fit for
Betty Burke Dirty Mouth December, but these are
timeless gems. I can’t quite
the band. It comes to full of the St Lawrence River pin down a comparison
bloom during the Ana Toronto’s Betty Burke is like a very good berry pie for his golden-throated
Matronic–assisted disco cooling on the windowsill. Inside the pie is Maggie voice — it’s sort of like
number “Safe (In the MacDonald (Hidden Cameras, Republic of Safety a silky-smooth, gender-
Heart of the Moment).” among others), Jo Snyder (art and editorial director of less jazz angel. But with
Thanks to production Shameless magazine) and Sheila Sampath (a Winnipeg his flawless band and his
from Mark Ronson and punk-scene queen). There’s some sugar and a lot of kd lang-esque version of
the buttload of synths spice in this pie, evoking a ’60s garage-rock girl group Stephen Sondheim’s “Send
involved, every song from the wrong side of the tracks. There’s a non-flakey in the Clowns,” this record
sounds like a Bond theme. crust and the lyrics are direct, honest and, at times, is super-romantic dinner
Terrifically fun. epic. Delicious! and lounge listening. fab March 30, 2011 23

y boyfriend George just moved from Timmins to be with Donny and Marie or
me. In Timmins, entertainment usually means playing an eerie facsimile?
darts, but now that George is a Torontonian, entertainment
can mean a lot of things.
I take him to Factory Theatre’s challenging production of Brothel
#9. A pretty young thing named Rekha goes to Kolkata expecting “my sister La Toya.” I tell George how my sister Christine and I
to take a job making light bulbs, only to discover that her brother- used to think we looked like Donny and Marie and would duet
in-law has sold her into prostitution. In true horror-movie fashion, “I’m Leaving It All up to You” in the rec room. Donny is so effin’
she goes to the police, but it turns out that they are in on the scheme. cool. It’s hard to believe he’s a grandfather.
Meanwhile, she is held under thumb by Jamuna, the cruel head of Then George and I go home to watch a movie. Because he loves
the household, who warns her that escape is not an option. Rekha sci-fi and I adore ’80s pop divas, we find something perfect for both
has no choice but to adapt and find dignity where there is none. of us — Mega Python vs Gatoroid. It stars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany,
I worry that the downbeat nature of the material will make for who also co-produced. Tiffany plays a busty sheriff in the Everglades
an odious experience. But this is one of the most cinematic plays who combats an increasing python problem by feeding growth hor-
I’ve ever seen, in no small part because of its richly coloured set mones to the gators. All the beasts become gigantic and the two
design. The performances are also superb, and the rape scene might heroines spend much time running from atrocious CGI lizards. I love
go down as the most harrowing thing I’ve ever witnessed on a stage. that Tiffany has only two outfits — her sheriff shirt paired with unflat-
Playwright Anusree Roy, who also plays Jamuna, finds all the human tering short shorts and a bust-enhancing black dress. Indeed, Tiffany’s
elements in the drama, making for overwhelming theatre. This one’s massive jugs compete with the giant lizards throughout.
going to win a raft of Doras. The two pop stars are positioned as rivals from the beginning. In
A few days later, I take George to a their first heated argument, Debbie responds to Tiffany’s authority
surprise Dancap press conference with “Somebody had ‘bitch’ for breakfast.” But it’s the catfight in the
featuring Donny Osmond, who is middle that makes it a masterwork. Tiffany holds a big classy fundraiser
bringing Donny and Marie Live to to benefit an estuary, and Debbie, an annoying eco-activist,
the Four Seasons Centre for the shows up to bug her. They go at it in front of everybody,
Performing Arts from Tuesday, pulling hair and scratching at eyeballs, even incorporat-
July 5 to Saturday, July 17. ing whipped cream. There are lines of dialogue like
Donny flirts with the “Only in your dreams” or “I think we’re alone now.
press, flashing those There doesn’t seem to be anyone around.” So many LOL
million-dollar moments, like when the lizards attack and someone
chompers and yells out, “If you have a gun, you should get it out
making cute now!” and every single person whips out a gun. It
quips about helps that Micky Dolenz of The Monkees shows up
to get eaten by a giant python.
Giant gators, Hindi hookers, Donny’s teeth — it’s
a lot to digest, but George takes it all in stride. In
fact, he’s stoked to attend Zero Hour, a play featuring Jim
Brochu as Zero Mostel, directed by famous actress Piper
Zero darts for TO Laurie. It plays at the Al Green Theatre until Saturday,
entertainment. April 16. It should be fun, considering Mostel’s legendary
performances in Rhinoceros and the original Producers.
And more to the point — it sure beats playing darts.

24 March 30, 2011 fab

GAY AGENDA John Crouch, Ryan English, Michael Lyons,
Drew Rowsome, Eduardo Sabate & Jonathan Valelly

WED, MARCH 30 Zero Hour recreates outrageous

comedian Zero Mostel’s blacklisting.
Granny Boots, hosted by Sex Life Runs till April 16. 8pm. Al Green Theatre,
Canada, has a sex panel featuring Miles Nadal JCC, 750 Spadina Ave.
Toronto’s own bottom extraordinaire, $40.50–64.50.
Ryan Russell, and an amateur strip
Dreamgirl, hosted by Michelle Ross is
contest. 7pm. The Gladstone Hotel,
at 9pm; meet the members of the TSVL
1214 Queen St W. No cover.
Volleyball League at 10:30pm; JLo
and Maria Delmonte follow at 11pm.
Among Friends, a support group for George’s Play, 504 Church St. No cover.
queers going through the refugee
process. 8–10pm. 519 Community
Centre, 519 Church St.
Games Night hosted by the Bears
Rex Baunsit, local queer music
of Toronto. 8–10:30pm. Pegasus
sweetheart, performs at Sandi Marie and
on Church, 489B Church St. No cover.
Under the Bus’s monthly event. 6–9pm.
Grossman’s Tavern, 379 Spadina Ave.
THURS, MARCH 31 Paul Petro Contemporary Art Gallery
Swingin’OUT has drop-in beginner showcases the works of Laura Cowell
swing-dance lessons, partner and dance and Dennis Day, two queer-plus
experience not necessary. 7pm. 519 moving-image practitioners. Opening
Community Centre, 519 Church St. reception 7–10pm. Runs till Sat, April 30.
$5. 980 Queen St W. No cover.

Everyone loves a man (or a woman Rainbow Ballroom Toronto & Latin
or anything in between or beyond) in Dance Club. Kicking off 10 weeks of
a uniform. The Butch Femme Salon spring dance classes that will end in a
celebrates all things Fit for Duty pre-Pride social. 7–8pm salsa; 8–9pm
with DJ Nik Red. 8pm–midnight. merengue; 9–10 Argentine tango.
The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St W. 519 Community Centre, 519 Church St.

Gloria Hole @ Zelda’s

on Mon, April 11

Ryan Russell
@ The Gladstone
on Wed, March 30

fab March 30, 2011 25

Carlotta Carlisle kicks off Friday at 7pm;
Hormonal, hosted by Clint Lyckher,
Spanking Demo with Master R. DJ
Pashtun works the backroom. Midnight.
begins at 9pm; Dance Till You Drop is at The Black Eagle, 457 Church St. No Living With AIDS Today, hosted by
10pm; and Vixen, hosted by Amanda cover. The Fraternity, has Michael Hamilton,
Roberts and a gay man living with HIV since 1985, as
Daytona Bitch
Bitch, is at
11:30pm. Crews &
SAT, APRIL 2 the keynote speaker. 5:45pm. Ramada
Plaza Hotel, 300 Jarvis St. $30 members,
Tangos, 508 Church St. An Evening of Hollywood Glamour, $40 guests, $20 students with ID.
$2 after 10pm. hosted by Heaven Lee Hytes, Farra, Savanaugh Davenport, Candice and Ivy,
Moose Knuckle Disco, hosted by
is a community fundraiser for PFLAG
Are you a screamer? Ghost Miss Margot and her crew of DJs.
Canada Durham with cocktails, dinner
Stories is theatre to make your hair 10pm. Sweaty Betty’s, 13 Ossington Ave.
and drag. 6:30pm. Club Carib, 600
stand on end, or make the ones you’ve No cover.
Wentworth St E, Oshawa. $50.
shaved grow right back. Runs till Sun,
May 8. 7:30pm. Panasonic Theatre,
651 Yonge St. $25–79.
Fetish Night, with DJ Jimi LaMort.
Fetish wear only. 9pm. Goodhandy’s, 120
Church St. $5 before 10pm, $15 after. Broke with Matches is a mixed-media
Lost Voices, the new play by Ed group show assembled by queer artist
Roy, concerns two teenagers from
Peter Kingstone. Runs till April 16.
different parts of the world who Reality Bytes. Spice Girls, Titanic, Dolly
111 Bathurst St. No cover.
arrive in Pearson Airport with the sheep, Madonna’s Erotica/Evita/
absolutely no idea of what awaits kabbala days. Relive the last decade of the Opening of fab guy photographer Drasko
them. Runs till Sun, April 17, 8pm. millenium with DJs 4est, Lindzrox and Bogdanovic’s Naked Man Staring at
The Theatre Centre
Centre, 1087 Queen St Jrox at this ’90s-themed party. 9:30pm. You. Opening reception is Sat, April 9 at
W. $15–20. Augusta House, 152 Augusta Avenue.No 7pm. Noon. Hangman Gallery, 756 Queen
cover. St E. No cover.
Big Primpin. Gay rap shit with DJs
Kevin Ritchie, Max Mohenu and Crave, with DJ Mark Falco, has go-go
Finest. 10pm. Wrongbar,
Rory Them Finest boys, dancing and cruising. 10pm. Vizion WED, APRIL 6
1279 Queen St W. $5. Lounge, 580 Church St. No cover before
The Best Men is a new comedy by Bil
11:30pm, $5 after.
The first J’Adore is for those who like Antoniou centring on a groom, his
frenching — on the DJ tables and the Scandal Saturdays. DJ Craig Dominic high-maintenance bride and the three gay
dancefloor. Featuring Andrew in The Zone; DJ Quinces rocks Tangos. men who despise her. Runs till April 10.
Awesome, Countess Christsmasher,
Christsmasher Crews & Tangos, 508 Church St. $2 after 7pm. Bread and Circus, 299 Augusta
Heroine Marks Empy and DJ Fondants.
Fondants 10pm–2am. 10pm. Ave. $15–20.
@ Zelda’s on Sat, April 9 Savoy, 1166 Queen St W. No cover.
DJs Josh Karmin and Shawn Riker spin Brockton Writers Series presents Xtra’s
Rocket: Video Dance Party. VJ/DJ sizzling beats late into the night. 10pm. Marcus McCann and several others
Sumation spins beats and visuals for a fly, 8 Gloucester St. $10 till midnight, $15 reading from their award-winning books.
massive multimedia onslaught. 10pm. till 1am, $20 after. 7–9pm. St Anne’s Church, 270
fly, 8 Gloucester St. No cover before Gladstone Ave. No cover, suggested
11pm, $5 before midnight, $10 after. Love Saves the Day, with DJ Jaime Sin. donation $3–5. Maximal disco. Maximal house. Minimal
clothing. 11pm. The Beaver, 1192 Queen Viva Cabaret. This one-man theatrical
College Night. Celebrate April Fools’ Day St W. No cover. performance by Yura has more costume
with a performance by Gia and the best changes and naked dancers than you can
top-40 remixed beats, courtesy of DJ Best Men’s Ass Contest, shake a stick at. 8pm. The Gladstone
Cajjmere Wray. 10pm. The Barn, 418 hosted by Sofonda and Ivory Towers Hotel, 1214 Queen St W.
Church St. No cover. with DJ Chris Steinbach. Midnight.
Woody’s, 465 Church St. No cover.
Dirty Sexy Party with DJ ViVi Diamond THURS, APRIL 7
has friendly pornstars, dirty go-go
Flashers of the Week Contest, with
dancers and a high likelihood of picking
up. 10pm. Goodhandy’s, 120 Church St. SUN, APRIL 3 host Dan the Man. 9pm. Flash,
463 Church St. Full or day membership
$10. Sticky Buns. Continental breakfast for the required.
all-nighter crowd. 5–7am. Steamworks,
Scissors: April Fools’ Edition. DJs Fawn
540 Church St, 2nd level. Regular rates Get disorderly as The Queer Social
Big Canoe, Sokes and Miss Michie keep
apply. presents Disorder. Come early and check
everyone dancing like fools. 10pm.
out the Kinky Cabaret, followed by sets
Blondie’s, 1378 Queen St W. No cover. Urge. Get in and get off at this downtown by DJs 4est and Peachy Keen. 9:30pm. sex maze. 4pm–2am. 199 Church St. $9. Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St W. $5.
Rendezvous: 2nd Anniversary Broad
Spectrum Edition with MC Mahogany The Imperial Court Of Toronto hosts the Thurst has rotating DJs and saucy drag
Browne, DJ Da Vinci, performers Rani fundraiser Easter Bonnet, with Deanna queens every week. 10pm. Alto Lounge,
Rhinestone, Katinka Kature, Drag King Stevens Dior and Empress XXIV at 9pm; 582 Church St. No cover.
Sebastian, Destinasian Dance Crew Playgirl, hosted by Heaven Lee Hytes
and more. 10:30pm. Buddies, 12 and Teran Blake is at 11pm. George’s Buzz Cuts is back with more electronic
Alexander St. $6. Play, 504 Church St. No cover. ecstasy from DJs The Robotic Kid and Joe Louis. Special performance by DJs
Andrew Awesome
@ Savoy on Fri, April 1 Light Fires. 10pm. The Black Eagle, 457
Church St. No cover.

26 March 30, 2011 fab

Gia @ The Barn on Fri, April 1

FRI, APRIL 8 HER, hosted by Regina with DJs

Produzentin, LBC and
Queer Idol: Round Six, hosted by Cajo, 10pm. La Perla, 783 Queen St W. $5.
celebrates the ’90s. Mariah, anyone?
Bear Night. Woof. 10pm. O’Grady’s,
9pm. Goodhandy’s, 120 Church St. $9.
518 Church St.
I Love the ’90s. DJ Cajjmere Wray spins
Cherry Bomb Live has performances
at this monthly throwback party filled with
by la Bomba, Tomboyfriend and
pure Eurodance and freestyle beats.
Bonjay, and DJs Cozmic Cat, Denise
Featuring a performance by Honey
Benson and Nino Brown. 9pm.
Brown. 10pm. The Barn, 418 Church St.
The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St W. $10.
Shake & Pop. Superstar DJs Blackcat
DJ Craig Dominic spins anthems all
and Sumation team up to drive the
night long at the aptly named Anthem.
dancefloor crazy with top 40, dance,
10pm. Wayla, 996 Queen St E. No cover.
house, electro and more. 10pm.
Zipperz-Cellblock, 72 Carlton St.
No cover.

fab March 30, 2011 27

Grapefruit, with DJs Shane Percy
and Aural. 10pm. fly, 8 Gloucester St.
$5 with pass before 11, $10 without.

All-Request Friday: From Radio Ga Ga

to Gaga, and Everything In Between
with DJ K-Tel spinning. Email your
requests to paul@buddiesinbadtimes.
com. 10:30pm. Buddies, 12 Alexander St.
$5 after 11pm.

Big 3 @ The Big Z, hosted by Clint
Lyckher, Daytona Bitch and Heroine
Marks, has cheap martinis, contests and
giveaways. 9pm. Zelda’s, 692 Yonge St.
No cover.

The Pool Party. The Downtown Swim

Club hosts a fundraiser for All OUT Swim
2011, with a swimsuit fashion show, used
bathing suit auction, swimming stroke
demonstrations and a raffle. 9–11pm.
Woody’s, 461 Church St. No cover.
@ Remington’s

Circuit Festival Pre-Party, with DJs

Lydia Sanz from Barcelona, Shawn Riker,
Jeremy Khamkeo and Mike Vieira in the
Lounge. 10pm. fly, 8 Gloucester St. $15
and up.

Obscura Day is a showcase of human

oddities, with headliner Lady Gaga
Zombie Boy, Rick Genest, burlesque and
a fetish circus from Montreal. 10pm.
Mitzi’s Sister, 1554 Queen St W. $15.

Pitbull: Commando, with DJs Shane

Percy and Johnny OC, has more beefy,
bearded babes than a truckstop. 10pm.
Fuzion, 580 Church St. $5. Downtown Swim Club @
Business Woman’s Special. DJs Woody’s on Sat, April 9
Sammy and Nino spin pop, R&B, hip hop
and electro. 10pm. Augusta House,
152 Augusta Ave. $5. SUN, APRIL 10 MON, APRIL 11
Euphoria. Get happy with DJ Sumation. TGLTA Tennis registration from 2–5pm; Dirty Bingo, hosted by Gloria Hole and
10pm. WAYLA, 996 Queen St E. No cover. Spearhead hosts a food drive at 6pm as Lena Over. Drink yourself dirty and win Miss Conception’s Stage to Screen some outrageous prizes. 8:30pm. Zelda’s,
one-woman show gets underway; 692 Yonge St. No cover.
Jock, hosted by Charles Pavia and DJ Michelle Ross Drag Legend Show,
Geoff Kelleway, is a night for jocks,
jockstraps and their admirers. 10:30pm.
hosted by Amanda Roberts, is at 9pm;
then it’s Georgie Girl and friends at
Goodhandy’s, 120 Church St. No cover 11pm. Woody’s, 465 Church St. No cover. So You Think You Can Strip? A weekly
before 11pm, $5 after for team members, amateur night. 9pm. Remington’s,
$10 for sports fans. 379 Yonge St. $5 cover, students free.
Bears of Toronto range through the
Obscura Day a showcase of human
corridors of Spa Excess as growls of
oddities with headliner Lady Gaga Zombie delight echo. 5–8pm. 105 Carlton St.
Boy, Rick Genest, burlesque and a fetish Regular rates apply.,
circus from Montreal. 10pm. Mitzi’s
Sister, 1554 Queen St W. $15.

Send your event to

For more daily club listings, events and community happenings:
@ Woody’s on Sun, April 10 what to do - who to do - where to do it

28 March 30, 2011 fab


Hayden St
Charles St

◗ BARS/CLUBS Isabella St
Gloucester St
◗ RETAIL 7 10

Dundonald St

AIDS Memorial
Cawthra Park
The 519


Maitland St

Bay Bloor
Bloor Radio
Radio Alexander St

Manulife Centre, Bay Street South of Bloor

Manulife Centre,
Centre, Bay Street South
South of of Bloor
Bloor 69
Manulife Bay Street

Mutual St
Tel: 416-967-1122
Tel: 416-967-1122
DailyMon.-Wed. 416-967-1122
Thurs.-Fri. 10-23, Sat.
10-7, Thurs.-Fri. 10-8,10-6
Daily 10-7,
Daily 10-7, Thurs.-Fri.
10-6, Closed
Sunday Sat. 10-6
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2 4
TTC Carlton St

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Bloor St W

Avenue Rd
Ossington Ave

69 24

Queen’s Park
Wellesley St


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College St
Lansdowne Ave

Bathurst St

Spadina Ave

University St
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504 Jarvis St. • 647.348.6520 Gerrard St
Dufferin St

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‘Comfort served daily’
6 7 Dundas St

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Call 416-925-5221

fab March 30, 2011 29

business directory
Personal Wellness Coach working
in Toronto’s LGBT Community:

Roy Runions
Sales Representative $5 OFF
RE/MAX Hallmark Realty Ltd., Brokerage© Food orders
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Get interactive
with fab 24/7

t w i t t e r. c o m / f a b m a g a z i n e
30 March 30, 2011 fab
business directory Dr.
accommodations legal services
Isabella Hotel & Suites Immigration is for lovers Ferreira-Wells
416.922.2203 Immigration Services
556 Sherbourne Street Toronto 1377 Bathurst St. D e ntis t 416.651.8889
computer services Robert I. Blanshay, Immigration Lawyer

Around The Clock I. T. Solutions Ltd.

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208 Bloor St. W., 4th Floor 416-920-PETS (7387)
416.922.6869 # 421 FREE
in some cities
March 30, 2011 — April 12,

real estate
Christopher Kowal
Download the complete
Phillip Coupal
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416.461.9900 issue of fab online @
Relationship Skills and Practices
Individuals • Couples • Groups
Roy Runions,
Re/Max Hallmark Realty Ltd.
restaurants Palm
Dr. Elon Griffith
25 Charles St. W, Toronto, ON Hernando’s Hideaway Springs
Dr. Kevin Russelo & Associates
545 Yonge Street
the gay oasis
117 Maitland St.
Dr. Martin Sterling & Associates tattoos & piercing
2 Bloor St. W. Suite 1904
416.923.8042 Exotix Studios Tattoos and Body Piercing
Dr. Varshney and Dr. Ioannidis 163 Spadina Ave

get him
741 Broadview Ave, Suite 308 2nd Floor416.259.9361
travel services
health & wellness
Christine Morrell Personal Wellness Coach
569 Yonge Street
1.800.335.2304 on the

to advertise in the
business directory...

call fab
@ 416-925-5221 416.915.2487
Find your local number: 1.800.777.8000

fab March 30, 2011 31



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32 March 30, 2011 fab

Together Heroine Marks

‘I am the luckiest and happiest

man on Earth.’
ieron thought he and Ray were meet- the walk,” says Ray. “I had a crush on him.
ing for the first time when they I thought it was either now or never.” At the
encountered each other at a fundraiser end of the walk, they shared their first kiss,
in St Catharines, Ontario. But the two had which Kieron describes as unexpected. “Like
met previously, when Ray was in drag; Kieron an 18th-century gentleman, he asked me if
didn’t realize Ray had a big-haired alter ego. I would let him kiss me,” says Kieron. “I was
“He didn’t want to date a drag queen,” says in complete shock and mumbled ‘Okay.’”
Ray, who was immediately drawn to Kieron’s Kieron says what he likes most about
“killer eyes” and sense of humour. “I thought Ray is his dedication to the community. “He
he was way too cute,” says Kieron, “but he believes in helping those less fortunate and
scored points when it comes to all the things sacrificing his own wants to make people
I look for in a guy: killer smile, beautiful eyes happy,” Kieron says. Ray admits Kieron can
and outgoing nature.” be a sheet hog in bed, but his romantic side
Sometime after their out-of-drag encoun- makes up for it. “I love that he calls me

Kieron & Ray

ter, the boys found themselves at another ‘baby,’” says Ray. “He has a romantic side,
fundraiser, where Ray tried to ply Kieron with and no matter what, you always know he
countless shooters. At the end of the night, is thinking of you. He is just a very thought-
Ray offered to walk Kieron home. “I initiated ful, loving man and a gentleman.” - six months
To be profiled, email a short bio and/or pic to

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Impulse and Desire
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fab guy Drasko Bogdanovic

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Age: 23
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f it’s a good date, I really like getting to know the guy, having
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currently studying acting at the Dynamic Theatre Factory of
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OF EVERY MONTH IS affectionate because I’m huge on PDAs.” Philippe’s hobbies include
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Philippe replies, “I entered the 2002 Mr Teen Montreal Pageant
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fab March 30, 2011 35
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