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2 Vol.

XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011

news
Survey Says...
By Alyssa Melillo
Though generally against tuition
hikes, the majority of Stony Brook stu-
dents recently surveyed by the Under-
graduate Student Government said they
are willing to pay higher tuition rates in
order to prevent the discontinuation of
majors and class offerings.
The survey, conducted online,
asked students which operational and
academic services they would be will-
ing to pay higher tuition for and col-
lected their opinions regarding Stony
Brook’s budget cuts and tuition hikes.
The Undergraduate Student Gov-
ernment collected responses from ap-
proximately 800 students—roughly 5
percent of the undergraduate student
body.
Of those surveyed, most were con-
cerned about graduating on time and
being able to continue their majors. Stu-
dents said they would be least willing to
pay more for campus events and athletic
teams.
Seven percent of participants said
they would be forced to leave Stony
Brook if tuition rose by $400. If tuition
rose by $1,000, 15 percent said they
sources, it is slowly losing its pres- the majority of students here are not In response to the survey results,
would have to leave the university.
tige...As other schools raise their tu- athletes, the most cuts should go to ath- the USG Senate proposed a resolution
A segment of the survey allowed
ition, there’s no reason that Stony Brook letics. Many also said they believed condemning state budget cuts to Stony
students to comment directly to USG
shouldn’t be allowed to do the same. I there is no need to raise the technology Brook. It calls on New York State to
about the budget issues. The majority of
would recommend doing it at a gradual fee. “reprioritize higher education” and “in-
the students who commented agreed
pace, but in all honesty, Stony Brook “I feel as though raising the tech- vest in its youth’s education, their future,
that educational aspects, such as majors
needs to raise tuition. I’m sick of seeing nology, athletic and transportation fees and New York’s future by ceasing to
and class offerings, should not be cut.
things go away.” is unnecessary,” one student wrote. slash the budgets of Stony Brook Uni-
“Honestly, Stony Brook offers a
Many students also commented on “Most students do not spend a majority versity and other SUNY institutions and
great, affordable education,” one student
the increase of the student Comprehen- of their time in SINC sites or computer by ensuring adequate functioning of
wrote. “Or at least it used to. With de-
sive Fee that will take effect next semes- rooms…I feel a great discomfort at the such by providing adequate funds for
creased class availability and overall re-
ter. They said they believed that since increase of the athletic fees.” public education.”

Vote or Die: USG Edition


a big impact on election results. a party that they believe in,” she said. as possible. I’m also trying to enforce
By Alyssa Melillo “[The number of potential candi-
dates] will absolutely affect the results
The first round of the election pe-
riod begins on April 11 at noon. Al-
the law and keep things simple and
clear.”
as there will be a lot of competition, and though the voting process, which takes Students who wish to run for a po-
The arrival of April, the approach- hopefully some good people will get place through SOLAR, remains the sition are currently petitioning. Starting
ing end of the semester and warmer elected,” she said in an email. “It also same this year, La Grega said that as the April 4, those who become valid candi-
weather can only mean one thing–it’s means that a lot of people want to get chair, one thing she plans on changing dates will campaign up until voting be-
almost time for the Undergraduate Stu- involved on campus and make a differ- is her communication with the candi- gins, and they will also participate in a
dent Government elections. ence for students here.” dates. debate that will take place on Wednes-
According to USG’s website, 100 La Grega said it is too early to tell “The elections process is tricky and day, April 6, during Campus Lifetime.
students have signed up to run for a po- which parties students are representing, one can easily be disqualified for miss- The results for the first elections will be
sition this year. Karen La Grega, chair of as the Party Coalition deadline is not ing a simple deadline or misreading the posted on April 15, then runoff elec-
USG’s election committee, said this until April 6. “But if there are several laws,” she said. “I want all the candidates tions will follow on April 25, with re-
number is a significant increase from parties running, this is an opportunity to know that I am here to help them sults posted April 29.
previous years and will most likely have for students to get out there and support make it to the polling process as easily
The Stony Brook Press News 3

Nerds...UNITE! I-CON Is Back!


By Evan Goldaper
If you’re a nerd like me, there’s
only one thing that can get you to
enter the athletic complex here at
Stony Brook, and it obviously isn’t
basketball. For the thirtieth year run-
ning, I-CON is returning to campus,
and I assure you that all of your
geeky friends are psyched.
For those of you who remain
naïve to the seductive charms of I-
CON, it’s Stony Brook’s very own
science fiction and fantasy conven-
tion. Each year, nerds, geeks, The
Stony Brook Press’s Associate Edi-
tor Evan Goldaper and the like grab
their costumes and prepare for a
weekend of geeky excess. Conven-
tions like this usually feature special
guests from the industry, and of Thomas Jane negotiating his contract with I-CON officials.
course I-CON is no exception. The
two headliners this year are Julie Dan. Side note: Only at I-CON can you want to do something similar, Lee or Tim Burton. That doesn’t
Benz, who appeared in “Buffy the you have celebrities more minor like tell Julie Benz how improbable seem to bother fans on campus, who
Vampire Slayer” and plays the than Darla from Buffy. But I digress. it is that she’d be able to run at super still seem incredibly excited. An-
mother on TV’s “No Ordinary Fam- All of them will be appearing in a speeds in high-heeled shoes, prepare other I-CON expert, Colleen
ily,” and Thomas Jane, from HBO’s variety of panel discussions and to wait on very long lines. These are O’Connor, noted that the smaller
“Hung,” in addition to dozens of signing autographs. a feature of all conventions, and are size allows for it to have a much
significantly more minor celebrities I hope that this year, unlike pre- best dealt with by bringing a DS and more intimate feel than its bigger
ranging from Pokémon’s Brock (in- vious ones, I will be able to build up taking advantage of the fact that siblings. She added, “I love I-CON.
sert fanboy squeal here), Cold the courage to tell Brock how im- everyone around you also has a DS. I’ve been going to I-CON for years.
Spring Harbor Labs, DC’s Answer pressive he was at voicing Seviper I-CON also features a massive It was my first convention, so it’s
Man and my next-door neighbor and Croagunk. As a fair warning, if merchandise floor that’s like the flea special to me.”
market of my dreams, where all Indeed, this sense of community
guests can purchase such necessities is something I-CON loves to stress,
as Super Nintendo games, imported and it is common for students to re-
manga, and adorable plushies and is turn many times. This year’s will be
basically thus the place where all of my fifth consecutive I-CON, which
the money I earn all year seems to makes me feel old, but still excited.
find itself. There are also smaller Other students will be making their
events like trivia competitions, a first appearance at I-CON this year.
live performance of the Phoenix One of our staffers here at The Stony
Wright musical, a masquerade ball Brook Press, Sarah Evins, said that
and such stage shows as “Cosplay “I’ve never been to a convention be-
Burlesque.” I have no complete idea fore, so I’m excited to be inducted
of what that last one entails, but their into a whole new level of geekdom,
write-up promises “naughty” ver- I guess.”
sions of beloved characters ranging It may not be full of prestige, but
from Tuxedo Mask to Harley Quinn, if you’re reading this issue, I-CON
which personally leaves me scared is probably the closest convention to
out of my mind. you. Tickets are in the form of mem-
If you’re sensing that I-CON is bership, which is on sale online or at
on a much smaller scale than other the campus bookstore. Students do
conventions like Comic-Con, you’re get a discount, so you have no ex-
right. Big industry reveals aren’t cuse to not go. I, of course, suggest
made here, and you would never ex- that you do. Look for me: I’ll be the
pect to see people as famous as Stan one with all the humorous pins.
4 Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011

Editorial Board
Executive Editor
editorials
Najib Aminy
Managing Editor
Nick Statt
Higher Learning
Associate Editor Activism is such an easy thing to small, scattered and thus far more dents to plug groups and causes
Evan Goldaper
support but often very difficult to aspiration than achievement. while entertained a range of ques-
Business Manager sustain. It’s almost like rooting for The campaign that may have tions.
Kenny Mahoney
the New York Knicks, only the come the furthest is that of the few Even Nader was surprised by
Production Manager Knicks rarely deliver. But over the hundred former Southampton stu- the number of groups, from the En-
Carol Moran past few years, it is important to dents who made some headway vironmental Club, the RSU or the
News Editors note that Stony Brook’s once purely fighting to keep their campus open. Social Justice Alliance as well as a
Bobby Holt apathetic campus has become a bit But even though the Stony Brook plethora of specifically focused
Alyssa Melillo more aware of what’s going on lo- administration failed to follow pro- groups. But that very diversity is
Features Editor cally and nationally. tocol, it managed to frustrate cam- part of the problem; there is no
Inquire Within Just five years ago, it would paigners and shut down Stony central leadership and the major
Arts Editor have been unfathomable that mul- Brook’s sister campus just around groups on this campus operate,
Alexa Rubinstein tiple protests would take place in a this time last year. often with similar agendas, in mul-
given academic year, let alone one The closest group in achieving tiple different directions that rarely
Photo Editor
Carolina Hidalgo semester. But with groups like the success happened to be the few intertwine or intersect.
Radical Student Union, an Under- hundred Southampton students It’s a problem reflective not of
Copy Editor graduate Student Government ad- who made headway in fighting to just this campus, but of Generation
Zach Knowlton
ministration that is slightly more keep their campus open. But de- Y as a whole. Even allowing for the
Sports Editor keen to actually take student con- spite the Stony Brook administra- disparity between rising tuition
Mark Greek
siderations into mind and the few tion failing to meet the proper versus oppressive dictatorships,
Social Media Editor student unions that include the protocol, Stony Brook’s sister cam- the point is illustrated by compar-
Kenny Mahoney Graduate Student Employee Union pus was shut down just around this ing the role of the youth heavily in-
Ombudsman and Research Assistant Union time last year. volved in the Middle East protests
Tia Mansouri (RSU), the Stony Brook campus has So while campus activists have to the complacency of today’s
become home to a very small but a steep mountain to climb, there American youth.
Layout Design by tireless minority of active dissi- are growing signs that more are be- “In the Middle East, the young
Jowy Romano dents. ginning that ascent. What illus- people realize something you don’t
Again, it’s a small minority on a trated this best was the question realize—that first you text message
Staff campus of more than 20,000 stu- and answer forum during Ralph and email and then you hit the
Vincent Barone
dents overall. But movements don’t Nader’s lecture on Tuesday, March streets,” said Nader, who has built
Raina Bedford
Michelle Bylicky
begin with large grandstands, thou- 22 in the Student Activities Center. up a career dating back to nearly
Siobhan Cassidy sand-man marches or success. And Nader, a three-time former presi- half a century of consumer ac-
Lionel Chan
Natalie Crnosija neither do specific campus activist dential candidate and long-time tivism. “Here, you text message and
Mike Cusanelli
Eric DiGiovanni campaigns, many of which are civic campaigner urged for stu- email and email and text message
Brett Donnelly
Amanda Douville
Lauren DuBois
Sarah Evins
Andrew Fraley
Mark Greek
Colleen Harrington
Samuel Katz
Nicole Kohn
Iris Lin
Andi Liao
Erica Mengouchian
Frank Myles
Alex H. Nagler
Howie Newsberkman
Vanessa Ogle
Jessica Rybak
Emily Torkel
Matt Willemain

About Us
The Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly
during the academic year and twice during sum-
mer session by The Stony Brook Press, a student
run non-profit organization funded by the Student
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Email: sbpress@gmail.com
The Stony Brook Press 5
Hate what you see? E-mail your letters to editors@sbpress.com
and text message and email, so access to all kinds of information will inevitably lead to a job in ing such a course at Stony Brook.
you’re not used to going out on that challenges the power struc- some big business. And that’s fine, And before we are dismissed
the streets. That’s the only thing ture, and they don’t seem to ab- but when we educate ourselves as unreasonably demanding
that gets a politician’s attention— sorb it in terms of changing their for one purpose—to get a job. courses amidst a time of state
when people are so worried about own routines and their own sense “You’re not having a liberal budget cuts, we realize that these
their situation [and] they amass in of what needs to be done for arts education, you’re not ad- cuts against public higher educa-
the streets.” [their] own future, in this country dressing the big pictures, you’re tion are in fact dramatic argu-
Between Stony Brook’s own and this world.” not addressing historical prece- ments for an intensive civic
budget cuts, tuition hikes and fee This is why The Press is en- dents that improved our country course, as evidence of the cost of
raises, not to mention an adminis- dorsing a reiterated suggestion so you can extend them and above an ineffective citizenry. It’s one
tration that has tallied a track Nader had initially proposed in all you don’t study a lot of reality thing to get a job, and it’s another
record against students (see the 1992: a college-level civic educa- in the social sciences.” to learn your rights and the power
Stony Brook Southampton clo- tion course. One of the many or- Which is what, in theory, a within them.
sure, staunch support of the trou- ganizations Nader founded, the civics education course would “You grow up thinking you
bling PHEEIA legislation and the Center for Responsive Law pub- remedy. How many students can’t do it and the power structure
exclusion of students from in- lished a book, Civics for Democ- know how to submit a Freedom of is too hard, and that’s exactly what
volvement in Project 50), there’s racy: A Journey for Teachers and Information request, let alone they want you to believe because
plenty of grievances for students Students, focusing on just that, know what it is? Or how to effec- then you don’t even try because
to rally around and let their voice touching on a variety of social tively follow and impact what you magnify the opposition,” said
be heard. And that voice is better movements that took place in our their US Senators and congress- Nader. “But once you get organ-
heard through action, not through country’s history. men are doing or saying? Not ized nothing can stop you. You got
some poorly worded and very Nader’s philosophy is that we many. more energy, you got more of a
misleading student government go to school in a corporate envi- So we are asking students and state because you’re young, you’re
survey. ronment. A lot of us take classes, those interested to contact Presi- usually idealistic and you can get
“It’s really remarkable how some of us will pass exams and dent Samuel L. Stanley, Provost information at your fingertips and
undeveloped students are,” said few of us will graduate. After that, Erik Kaler, Professor Michael there are millions of you—what
Nader during an interview with we look for a job, and that’s it. Barnhart, Chair of the History de- are you waiting for?
The Press. Of course they don’t There are accounting classes, in- partment, and Dr. Jeffrey Segal, Right on, Ralph.
have much experience, because formation technology studies and Chair of the Political Science de-
they’re young, but [they do have] computer science courses that all partment, to work towards offer-

Building Castles In The Sky

By Vincent Barone
6 Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011

features
Uncle Ralph Can
Still Light a Fire
By Najib Aminy

The three hours Ralph Nader spent His calls for Obama’s impeachment Segal, Chair of the Stony Brook Politi- Additionally, much can be argued about
one evening in mid-March at Stony mimic those he made during the presi- cal Science department. “And the how aggressive Gore was in legally
Brook University encapsulated his life- dency of George W. Bush—the presi- amount of damage he has done to this fighting for additional recount votes,
long fight—his call for justice, one that dent he is often criticized for having country is inordinate.” and how it affected the results.
continues to drive him at 77 years old. inadvertently helped win. Many books have been written on “By the way, I do think that Al Gore
Clutching the sides of the podium, Bush tallied 543 more votes than Nader’s role in the 2000 election as a cost me the election, especially in
Nader, a long-time consumer advocate his Democratic opponent, then Vice presidential candidate, as the emerging Florida,” Nader said rather defiantly be-
and three-time (technically four) presi- President Al Gore, in Florida, which third-party, and as the spoiler of demo- fore members of the National Press
dential candidate, gave an impassioned cratic goals. The more than 97,000 votes Club the day after the election. “And
lecture targeted at invigorating the Nader received not only earned him that’s a far greater concern than whether
young audience that sat before him third place in Florida, but awarded him I was suppose to help elect Al Gore.”
He ran as a write-in candidate in the first place prize of being the political Yet much of what Nader spoke
1996, placing more importance on rep- “By the way, I do scapegoat for Gore’s loss. about was nothing new. He expressed
resenting the thousands displeased with “At least 40 percent of Nader voters concern over the corporate wrangling
America’s two-party system than win- think that Al Gore in the key state of Florida would have of American politics, the neccesssity for
ning the race.
Just days before Nader returned to
cost me the election, voted for Bush, as opposed to Gore, had
they turned out in a Nader-less elec-
energy reform, and his coined view of
the current form of American democ-
the campus he last visited in 1974, the especially in Florida” tion,” wrote professors Michael C. Her- racy - a "two party dictatorship", a com-
former Green Party frontrunner made ron and Jeffrey B. Lewis in their study, bination of ideas recycled from
headlines after calling for the impeach- Did Ralph Nader Spoil a Gore Presi- speeches he drafted throughout his
ment of his 2008 opponent, President dency? “The other 60 percent did in- years of campaigning.
Barack Obama. deed spoil the 2000 presidential election For an audience that mostly con-
“He has done almost everything controversially etched “43” and “W” to- for Gore but only because of highly sisted of a generation that was once too
Bush has done that is unconstitutional, gether in the history books. This came idiosyncratic circumstances, namely, young to remember or acknowledge
illegal under U.S. law and illegal under after weeks of legal dispute and a con- Florida’s extreme closeness.” Nader’s role in American politics, the
international law,” said Nader, referring servative Supreme Court ruling that fa- There is also a very different argu- lecture themes of youth activism, gov-
to Obama’s continuation of Bush’s wars vored Bush over the legality of ment—it was Al Gore who cost Al Gore ernment accountability and a call for
and the practice of rendition, blocking recounting Florida’s votes. That’s his- his presidency. Gore’s campaign failed civic education are topics largely un-
lawsuits with a state secrets claim, and tory, but the claims that Nader stole to win both his home state of Tennessee touched by today’s politicians.
continuing illegal surveillance and in- votes from Gore and cost him the elec- and that of his boss, President Bill Clin- Despite how cliché it is to draw
definite detention. “If there was a big tion are still very much alive. ton’s home state of Arkansas. Winning comparisons between what the CEO of
cry to impeach Bush and Cheney and “He’s the reason why George W. Tennessee would have earned Gore Wal-Mart makes an hour in compari-
Obama’s doing the same thing, why are Bush became president and he takes no enough electoral votes and changed his son to the entry-level worker, Nader
we giving him a pass?” responsibility for that,” said Dr. Jeffrey address to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. covered the current extinction of the
The Stony Brook Press Features 7
E-mail The Press at
editors@sbpress.com

middle-class stemming from the cur- all, who voted for the least worst candi- The funding of higher education, encouraging me, saying ‘Run, run, run,
rent economic climate that looms upon date,” said Nader. “The college students both public and private, is amongst the we’ll vote for you,’ and then getting cold
graduating students. (For the record, were very disappointing. No one has forefront of troubles placed against the feet and voting for the democrats,”
Wal-Mart CEO Michael Duke makes done more with and for college stu- youth of America. Rallies and protests Nader said.
more than$16,000 per hour, which is dents in the history of the country run- have taken place from coast to coast, This will be the first time in 16
$3,000 more than the annual salary of ning for president then I have.” from schools like UC Berkley where a years that Nader will not make a chal-
many Wal-Mart employees who are And while it’s near impossible to 40 percent raise in tuition has passed, to lenge for the White House. And while
paid minimum wage.) relate the conditions of the youth in protests that haven taken place at Stony there are other emerging third parties
“We are living in a decaying society Brook, where the administration favors that pundits can speculate about play-
where the few will control the a hike in tuition to balance budget ing the spoiler—the Tea Party in par-
many…where the few will seize the woes. ticular—Nader’s absence from this
gains that are generated by the sweat of “Yours is the last Nader repeated what he told thou- election leaves a new generation of vot-
the many,” Nader said. sands of supporters in Madison Square ers without one of the youth move-
Following his lecture, Nader fielded generation that has Garden in 2000, telling the few hundred ment’s biggest advocates on the ballot.
questions and encouraged student so much to gain and students at Stony Brook that the current “The biggest problem of your gen-
groups to make their plugs. Amongst youth generation was tasked with a eration is a lack of an estimate of your
the countless number of pitches and au- so little to lose in great burden—the handling of their fu- own significance and power,” said
dience appreciation, one student chal-
lenged Nader.
gaining it.” ture.
“Yours is the last generation that
Nader. “You’ve grown up powerless,
you’ve grown up with your gadgets in
“President Obama raised a lot of has so much to gain and so little to lose your hands, you’ve grown up in trivial
money from people who associate with in gaining it. It’s your generation that personal environments and you’ve
all the causes that you spoke about Middle East to the problems that face now has to put your shoulder to the grown-up being educated in trade
tonight,” asked one student, referring to most college students here in America, arm of justice and build on your pred- schools just to get a job.”
Nader’s message but lack of awareness. the difference is that large youth move- ecessors.” Ralph Nader continued, “It’s really
His question focused on how progress ments pushed for reform, whereas in When asked about entering the remarkable how undeveloped students
could be achieved without the ability to the U.S., that has not happened since 2012 Presidential race, Nader said he are. Of course they don’t have much ex-
reach the masses. the 1960’s. would not be running, though he hopes perience because they’re young, but
The question struck a chord. The closest thing to a recent influ- that someone will continue to carry the they have access to all kinds of infor-
“You know who could have made ential youth movement, Nader men- progressive banner.” mation that challenges the power struc-
this campaign a success—not a winning tioned, were the thousands of youth He was a bit more assertive when ture and they don’t seem to absorb it in
one, but one that could’ve broken protestors in Wisconsin fighting describing the flurry of support he often terms of changing their own routines
through—several million college stu- against the issue of state union workers receives in the beginning of his cam- and their own sense of what needs to be
dents, who [instead] followed their par- losing their right to collective bargain- paigns and the endurance of that sup- done for your own future in this coun-
ents and grandparents, if they voted at ing. port. “I was also tired of people try and this world.”
8 Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011

sports features
Chasing Swagger, One Win At a Time
the $65,297,785 athletic budget at Penn
By Vincent Barone State, Stony Brook’s 2009-2010 athletic
budget of $18,097,141 is pocket change.
Thirty percent of that athletic
Across Steve Pikiell’s desk hang two budget came from New York State. That
pictures that serve as a paradigm of number, which is mostly appropriated
Stony Brook athletics. to coaches’ salaries, has dropped from
One is a photo of Pikiell’s first home 34 percent in 2009, and Fiore expects
game as head coach of the men’s bas- that number to fall again in 2011.
ketball team against Navy in the 2005- Despite the drop in state funding
2006 season. Visible in the frame are from 2009 to 2010, the overall athletic
perhaps three or four fans scattered in budget has managed to rise to
the largely empty bleachers of Pritchard $2,982,640. This growth is possible
Gymnasium. The Seawolves finished 4- through a plethora of revenue sources,
24 overall that year, dead last in the from self-generating streams (ticket
America East Conference. sales, facility rentals, concessions, spon-
“That picture right there, that was sorships and sports camps), to dona-
my first game. It’s kind of, eh. I think 95 tions, institutional support, and student
people were there,” said Pikiell. fees. All together, these streams account
“And then that’s when we played for the large majority of the yearly ath-
Illinois,” Pikiell admired, pointing to the letic funds.
picture that hangs directly above, a shot But while state funding wanes dur-
taken from Stony Brook’s first round ing the most salient point of Stony
game of the 2010 National Invitation Fiore, a Long Island native, about the have Stony Brook sit not only as a top Brook’s athletic program, its self-suffi-
Tournament against Illinois on March job, he thought “Stony Brook? I can’t go research school, but a leader in athlet- ciency is anchoring it through these try-
17, 2010. This time the focus was on a to Stony Brook, dude. Seawolf? What’s ics in the northeastern region—com- ing financial times.
thronging student section, just a frac- a seawolf?” He grew up on Long Island, peting right there with the likes of “We rent everything; we’ll rent this
tion of the 4,423 fans that sold out Stony and Stony Brook, athletically, would athletic powerhouses Penn State and piece of carpet if you’re going to give us
Brook Arena for the game, which was never have been an option, he said. Rugters University, both fellow state money,” said Fiore, who leases out
televised on ESPNU. With a final record After some cajoling by the firm, he schools. It’s a tall order that even Fiore sports facilities to high school champi-
of 22-10, it was Stony Brook’s first ever agreed to meet a university committee admits probably will not happen while onships, commencements, I-CON, the
postseason bid as a Division I school. at LaGuardia Airport. With a youthful he’s at the university. But the potential, annual science fiction convention
Men’s basketball is coming off an- blithe, Fiore presented the committee he says, is undeniable. which brings thousands of people to the
other historic season. For the first time with bold demands and lofty standards With a premiere men’s lacrosse Arena, and the Undergraduate Student
in the program’s history, 11 games were for university athletics. He came out of team that ranks as one of the nation’s Government’s end-of-the-year concerts.
televised, four of which were aired na- the meeting thinking that there was no best, a budding men’s basketball team “We rent the hell out of this place.”
tionally by ESPN. It was also the first chance of getting the job. that is competing on a national level, Now students will have to wait and
time that the team competed in the Instead his cavalier attitude worked Stony Brook has garnered an impressive see where President Samuel Stanley
America East Conference Champi- to his advantage. Stony Brook expressed amount of attention for such a compar- draws the line for future institutional
onship, where the Seawolves fell to interest. Fiore decided to come to cam- atively young university. support. His predecessor, President
Boston University, 56-54. Stony Brook pus to meet with erstwhile President “There’s a little mystery here to Kenny was a staunch supporter of the
came up just two points away from their Shirley Strum Kenny. Stony Brook because these other athletic program who helped lift the
first ever NCAA tournament bid. “I met with the president alone, and schools have been around longer,” said program to Division I. Last month, ad-
“When I first took over the pro- I loved her. I’ll never forget it. I called Pikiell. “We played [Boston University] ministration at Stony Brook announced,
gram we never had a sell out. Now we my wife on my cell phone on the way in the final. That was there 15th final. much to the ire of students, that there
sell out the arena; we sell out Pritchard,” home and said, ‘Hey, uh, we got a prob- They have 107 years of basketball, while would be an increase in broad-based
said Pikiell. “There’s a little buzz here. lem.’ She said, ‘What?’ and I said, ‘This we’re in year 46th of basketball. So fees, which includes athletic services,
People are excited about what’s going president is great.’” Fiore, who believes there’s a little newness to us, which I among others.
on.” that one’s job is only as good as one’s think excites TV.” After the fee increase announce-
Along with men’s basketball, atten- boss, was on board. Yet, the New York State budget cri- ment, the Undergraduate Student Gov-
dance for men’s soccer, men’s lacrosse, Fiore took the helm of athletics just sis is challenging the recent growth of ernment surveyed 800 students to
baseball and football have all risen over four years after the Seawolves moved to the athletic department. The question prioritize what students are willing to
the past four years. This growth and ex- Division I in 1999—and he was well of where athletics fit in a traditionally pay more to prevent. The results show
posure is far cry from the athletic de- aware of the work needed to make the academic-minded university is becom- athletics falling low on students’ con-
partment of eight years ago, when an fledgling program shine. ing more and more relevant. cerns. Just more than 20 percent of the
exuberant 34-year-old Jim Fiore took “We didn’t have a school color eight Does Stony Brook University have participants said that they were willing
the role as Athletic Director of the uni- years ago. Wolfie was half dead. Now, the financial and cultural means to rival to pay more to prevent the elimination
versity. Wolfie is an icon for this place,” said the athletics department of a Rutgers, a of their favorite sports team.
The position opened up in the Fiore. “We won one conference cham- Penn State or even a University of According to the USG survey,
spring of 2003, while Fiore worked as pionship when I got here—in our his- Florida? which was published on its website,
the Senior Associate Athletic Director tory. One. We had six last year alone.” The department is suffering cut- only “campus events” fell lower on stu-
of Princeton University. When a search Still, Wolfie has a long way to go. backs in state funding just like every dents’ priorities, with just less than 20
firm hired by Stony Brook contacted Fiore’s grand mission is to one day other at Stony Brook. And compared to percent saying that they are willing to
The Stony Brook Press Sports Features 9
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editors@sbpress.com

pay more to prevent their elimination.


The questions, though, failed to in-
clude the cost of preventing these cuts
in services, which, in actuality, is as
small as $5 per student. For example,
the sports-related question reads: “How
do you feel about the following fee-
based services? [Eliminating your fa-
vorite athletic team on campus.]” And
many answers read something like, “As
long as fees don’t go up, I can deal with
it.”
It is also worth mentioning that
USG surveyed just 4.8 percent of un-
dergraduates. Taking the survey with a
grain of salt, the top priorities of partic-
ipants prioritized academics. Prevent-
ing the discontinuing of their major,
delaying their graduation, and discon-
tinuing other majors in general were
recorded as the chief issues.
The survey relates to the long-
posed question of t he role of athletics at
Stony Brook University and why the that, Stony Brook simply does league,” said Fiore, referring to Fiore has seen much of the same
department is getting the funding and not have the capital. Pritchard. “The worst one in the league. and believes that the community at
attention that it is. Infrastructure, including
“I think people that [ask] that are Stony Brook’s athletic facili-
uninformed. They don’t know the ties, is also proving to be an
facts,” said Fiore, who noted that SAT impediment to the program’s
scores and out-of-state enrollment have growth.
both gone up in the past eight years, co- “Academically, we cast
inciding with the athletic department’s shadows on those guys (Rut-
growth. “They can’t argue with the gers, Connecticut, Penn
school spirit and the fact that the aca- State), said Fiore. “If we had
demic profile of the campus has risen Big Ten facilities, we would be
since we’ve gone Division I. It hasn’t in the Big Ten, because aca-
had any ill effect on [the university.]” demically, we’re there.”
To put state funding of university Fiore admitted that the
athletics into perspective, over the past 1,700-capacity Pritchard
three years $15,924,123 has been Gymnasium, where the men’s
pumped into athletics, while basketball team played the
$31,272,035 of state funding has been majority of their games this
allocated to university research, one of past season, is too small. “I’m
the primary focuses of Stony Brook. concerned that students are
Like the invaluable exposure gar- going to get shut out. We can
nered through the research, the na- get 400 students in there, and then I And look at what Steve Pikiell has done Stony Brook is the most untapped re-
tional coverage of Stony Brook athletics have a problem.” with that program. If we ever get a fa- source. “Fifteen thousand employees
is equally beneficial to non-athletic Stony Brook Arena has a capacity cility, we can reach that higher level.” come to work here everyday,” said
services. During nationally televised of 4,000 plus, but it is in dire need of Pikiell’s biggest plight, he says, is Fiore. “Twenty-five thousand students.
games on the ESPN network, the ath- renovations. Structural liabilities have not Pritchard Gymnasium, but rather Forty thousand people converged on
letics department partners with the rendered the arena largely unusable. trying to overcome the long winter this place today. Look at that commu-
medical center to air commercials for The men’s basketball team played once breaks at Stony Brook, which fall right nity, the branches. So that’s why I think
Stony Brook Hospital. in the arena, against Maine, which was in the middle of his basketball season. we can be special.”
Despite the national coverage, aired on ESPNU. More than half of the “You have students starting to come to With limited resources, Fiore will
Fiore is still challenged to cultivate a sell-out crowd would have been turned games early and then they go away for have to scrap his way to Division I ac-
sports culture here at Stony Brook’s away had that game been played in break…by the time they come back claim—something he’s accustomed to.
more isolated campus. Prichard Gym. there’s a month left of the season.” “I’m a blue-collar guy. I’m Stony
“The college town thing is a big Even worse for Fiore, the The silver lining, though, is that at- Brook,” said Fiore. “I was a tough blue-
piece. Stony brook is fragmented. You $20,000,000 arena facelift allocated by tendance of men’s basketball games is collar kid. Like you guys, I grinded it
kind of need a downtown,” said Fiore. the state has been frozen as part of for- not dipping when students go away for out, whatever you get you earn—that’s
“It’s a big challenge for us in recruiting, mer New York State Governor Pater- break. When the Seawolves faced Al- my background.”
because there is a perception issue that son’s order to shut down all state bany on Jan. 17, 1,630 fans came to And while a cut to state funding
you have to overcome.” funding. The money is still allocated, watch the televised game on MSG Plus. looms, Fiore keeps looking forward.
The University of Connecticut, an however, and Fiore is working with “We have more families coming to “We’re growing—and I refuse to stop.”
athletic force, has the same problem, President Stanley and local politicians games, more of the community here,”
but they are in a sense building an arti- to help free the money. said Pikiell. “You just have to reach
ficial “college town” with restaurants “We need an arena. We have the your net out a little wider and find peo-
and retail outlets right on campus. For least aesthetically pleasing gym in the ple who are involved in basketball.”
10 Sports Features Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011

Passing the
Gender Divide
By Carol Moran

The world of athletics is a micro- “Sometimes when you don’t know field hockey. But that’s not so simple Pritchard Gymnasium to capacity. The
cosm of society, says Evelyn Thompson, what you’ve come from, you don’t know with financial restraints. women’s team averaged less than half of
interim head coach of the women’s bas- how to avoid problems in the future,” “There are 30 kids on a field hockey that with 645 people.
ketball team at Stony Brook. They test she says. team but with that you have to build a “It would probably take a disserta-
the limits of the human body—its coor- Woodruff ’s career as a leader in field—and that’s a $2 million dollar op- tion to explain that,” Coach Thompson
dination and agility, its litheness and athletics extends 20 years back, and eration, plus scholarships, plus coach- says chuckling. It boils down to a prob-
strength— in activities designed just for though she says she hasn’t experienced ing staff, plus operations,” Fiore says. lem in society, she says. In the sports
that purpose. They exist in a world fash- gender discrimination in the workplace, “How do we manage it?” arena, men are more supported than
ioned by society. she points out that whom you work for Aside from the struggle to keep the women.
People value the physical ability to is important. men’s and women’s rosters in propor- Fiore says it’s a national trend. He
dunk a basketball into a 10-foot hoop. tion, everything else corresponds, aside doesn’t know why. He can’t explain it.
They value the mental discipline that from the yearly budgets of each team “We certainly haven’t been strong in
pushes a distance runner ahead in the
last 200 meters of a 10k race. That much
“Sometimes when you that tend to be more heavily funded on
the women’s side. They have equal
terms of the win or loss column, so I’m
going to put it on that,” he decides.
has been true since the beginnings of don’t know what locker rooms; they play in the same The men’s team went 15-17 this
civilization when the first organized gymnasiums, and have the same equip- season, and the women’s 7-23. It’s a
athletic competitions took place. But it you’ve come from, ment. catch-22 of sorts, says Thompson. “We
wasn’t too long ago that women were you don’t know how They’re equal, the administration all know that when you have support,
given an equal opportunity to prove says. you tend to play a little harder—espe-
their athletic ability—from a legislative to avoid problems in But walk into a men’s basketball cially when it’s here at home in front of
standpoint at least. the future” game where the sea of red in the stands your Seawolf family.”
Next year marks the 40th anniver- glares off the shiny hardwood floors of Dani Klupenger, a sophomore bas-
sary of the enactment of Title IX, the the Pritchard Gymnasium. The fans rise ketball player, sits on the steps of the
1972 amendments to the Civil Rights Problems in gender equity in ath- and cheer with the teams successes; sports complex with her straight blonde
Act of 1964 that combated gender dis- letics at Stony Brook aren’t apparent they sigh and wince at every missed hair pulled back into a ponytail and un-
crimination in education and athletics. from an administrative standpoint, shot. knowingly mimics her coach’s words.
Since then, universities nation-wide though it’s a constant struggle to keep Then enter the gym for a women’s “When you win, people want to
have bound themselves to the premise the equilibrium. There are 10 men’s game. The team is still there—they’ve come watch you, and when you lose,
of equal opportunity, equal funding, teams and 10 women’s teams—but as trained in the weight room, on the they don’t,” she says. When a lot of peo-
and equal support for women athletes— football consists of 63 men, it is the ad- court, and at the track. The coach is still ple are in the stands, it intimidates the
so much so that young athletes these ministrations obligation to provide 63 eager on the sidelines, and the cheer- other team. They bring the team’s con-
days may not even know that gender opportunities for women—an ongoing leaders still cheer—but the crowd has fidence back up when things aren’t
equity in athletics was ever an issue, issue, according to Athletic Director Jim diminished. going your way, she says.
says Donna Woodruff, the Executive Fiore. He considers the options: drop- The men’s basketball team averaged But forget wins and losses and
Associate Director of Athletics at Stony ping men’s sports—an unappealing 1,555 home game attendees in the 2010- move outside women’s basketball. The
Brook. choice—or adding a women’s team, like 11 season, just shy of filling the statistics are the same.
The Stony Brook Press Sports Features 11
E-mail The Press at
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“Women’s lacrosse just doesn’t ESPN’s website today are greeted with Stony Brook’s basketball games: Athlet- They receive more attention from the
draw [attendees] nationally anywhere,” the image of Brittney Griner, Baylor ics can charge more for men’s games public. It’s similar to the difference in
says Fiore. “We’ll host the Final Four University’s 6-foot-8 forward, a phe- because they know people will pay. the salaries of athletic directors from
here this year, and we’re hoping to get a nomenal player—but an exception in The larger market for male athlet- one school to another.
great crowd, but the men’s Final Four female athletics. ics also dictates the salaries of head Beyond the pay scale, however, the
we’d never be able to host because it’s “The reality is that ESPN wants our coaches, where there are large discrep- perception of women athletes has
too small a stadium—you know, men—not our women,” Fiore says. ancies between men and women. Alli- changed in the 20 or so years that Fiore
50,000, 80,000. We’re hoping to get son Comito, the head coach of women’s has been an administrator. “Where it
10,000 for the women’s Final Four.” lacrosse, made $63,916 in 2009, accord- was almost taboo once upon a time to
Perhaps it comes down to a society
awed by the bigger, faster and stronger.
“You’re already an ing to athletic department budget
records. Rick Sowell, men’s lacrosse
be a female athlete and lift weights, now
it’s part of the culture,” Fiore said.
It comes back down to values. underdog coach, made $150,800 that same year. “There’s beauty in a strong body.”
“You’re already an underdog when Megan Bryant, the head softball coach, And that’s progress, it can be ar-
you’re a woman athlete,” Klupenger when you’re a made $63,916. The men’s baseball gued, though there’s still a ways to go.
says. “People want to see men dunking coach, Matt Senk, made $87,831. “All of those fathers that dream of
baskets.” The more athletic someone woman athlete” “The market really dictates the their sons going on to play at the divi-
appears, the more entertaining it may salaries,” Fiore says. “And to attract and sion 1 level and being great athletes—
be, Woodruff agrees. retain people like Coach Pikiell, you sometimes they end up with
Her husband calls her in to watch have to do certain things, and even on daughters,” Coach Thompson said.
the top ten plays on ESPN. “I do not “You don’t see a lot of our level that national level, he’s paid very low.” “But those daughters also have that
want to see another dunk,” she says. women’s games on TV. We’ve tried to Pikiell, the men’s basketball coach, same opportunity, and that’s what we
“First of all, the guy is four inches get them on MSG—MSG doesn’t want made $243, 988 in 2009. Michele need them to understand: They deserve
shorter than the basket—he should be women’s basketball.” Cherry resigned from head coach of the the same type of respect, and they also
able to dunk.” Woodruff points out that it’s a women’s team in January, and her deserve the same type of coverage and
Media coverage of intercollegiate business decision. “They know that salary was not available. they deserve the same number of peo-
athletics parallels the numbers in the they are going to have ‘x’ number of In explaining the discrepancy, ple in the stands.”
stands. When female teams play excep- views,” she says. “They can sell that to Woodruff says there is not only more of
tionally well, they catch the public’s eye, corporate sponsors, to commercials.” a demand for men’s coaches but also
and draw media coverage. Visitors to And it’s the same for ticket prices at more pressure to win on the men’s side.

The Renovation of Swagger


stronger program and attract more re-
By Vincent Barone cruits. Those are the two most impor-
tant things,” said Ronan, who is
anticipating hosting an America East
Over the recent months, construc- track & field conference championship
tion workers undertook several major on the new premises in four years, an
athletic renovation projects at Stony event that he maintains would not have
Brook, including complete makeovers been possible without the reconstruc-
of the university’s track and baseball tion.
field. The revamping of the basketball
Both experienced varying levels of arena and the baseball field, on the
success. Though the Stony Brook Arena other hand, has not gone as smoothly.
construction plans, another major ren- Unforeseen obstacles have stymied the Brook alumnus and Minnesota Twin tion works out the 2011 budget. Athletic
ovation, remains up in the air. remodeling of both facilities, intruding Joe Nathan completely funded the ren- Director Jim Fiore is speaking with
on the praxis of both teams. ovations of the field, which are vast. The President Samuel Stanley and local
Track Field Renovations
dugout and bleachers are getting politicians to help free the money and
The track field renovation, financed Baseball Field Renovations touched up, the field itself will get a new begin renovations.
by part of the university’s Central Fund, Eighteen games into the baseball turf coat and the outfield fences will be This past season, Stony Brook’s
has gone swimmingly thus far and season and there is still nary a blade of realigned. Chen hopes that the field will men’s and women’s basketball teams
should be completed on schedule, this grass on Joe Nathan Field, home of be game-ready for conference play, played the majority of their home
April. For Track & Field Head Coach Stony Brook’s baseball team. Construc- which kicks off April 9. games in Pritchard Gymnasium, which
Andrew Ronan, the remodeling could- tion should have wrapped up in time for For now, Baseball Heaven sports is about the size of an average high
n’t have come sooner. “How can I say the Seawolves’ home opener against complex, located roughly 16 miles from school’s gym, because of the necessary
this, [the field] was in horrendous con- Fairly Dickinson on March 9, but the campus in Yaphank, N.Y., is the ersatz structural repair to the Stony Brook
dition. We didn’t, or couldn’t, really inclement weather during the winter diamond for the Seawolves, who have Arena.
hold practices on it,” he said. months significantly hindered produc- won both “home” games they’ve played This plan is pressing for the men’s
The unkempt infield has been re- tion. Instead, there is a spotlight were there. basketball team, which cannot support
placed with a FieldTurf surface, which the pitcher’s mound should be and a nationally televised games in the inti-
is currently hosting soccer practices. work van positioned at shortstop. Stony Brook Arena Renovations mate confines of Pritchard Gymnasium.
Now construction will halt, as workers “Very simply, it’s been the snow,” Chen could not speculate, however, For the men’s BracketBuster game
must wait for April’s sultry weather to said Sports Information Director on the repairs of the Stony Brook Arena. against Maine on Feb. 12, which aired
lay down the tar for the 400-yard track Thomas Chen. “Work had to virtually The state-allocated $20,000,000 for on ESPNU, the university had to pump
appropriately. halt over January.” building renovations is on an absolute $50, 000 dollars to patch up the arena in
“The field will help us build a A $500,000 donation from Stony freeze, as the Stony Brook administra- order to host the game.
12 Sports Features Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011

The
Story
Behind
the Howl
By Matt Gerardi

Stony Brook University basketball Murray started as Wolfie in 2007— sum up his Wolfie philosophy is swag- help Stony Brook become Long Island’s
fans are on their feet in Hartford Uni- his first mascot job. “I never did any of ger. “It’s about confidence,” he said. premiere university.
versity’s Chase Arena. Their red shirts that stuff in high school—I just love “The walk, the moves, the attitude— “We want Stony Brook to be Long
and faces stand out among the sea of sports. Going to games, yelling.” they’re all a part of it.” Island’s college,” he said. “That starts
Vermont green and yellow. A young But one day his sophomore year He credits the 2008-2009 basketball with something I like to call communi-
man with bright blue eyes stands before roommate, who was Wolfie at the time, season and the debut of Wolfie’s signa- versity. Athletics is part of it but it’s also
them. asked Murray if he needed a job. ture dance routines as the genesis for about outreach. We’ve done a good job
“Repeat after me,” he yells. “I be- “I was skeptical at first. And then he the mascot’s newfound swagger. here in the Three Village area but I
lieve that we gonna win!” The crowd told me it paid $10 per hour, so I figured It was the fall of 2008 and the dance think we can definitely expand it fur-
starts jumping and repeating the why not?” team and Wolfie were at a harvest festi- ther.”
mantra, drowning out the Vermont What followed was the birth of a val. Wolfie started out making only 10
fans. character. “We were dancing with all the kids appearances per year, Murray said. That
Chris Murray may be one of the “Before I started doing Wolfie, and then Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ number is now up to about 200.
best known members of Stony Brook’s there really was no Wolfie as we know came on,” Murray recalled. “I knew the The most memorable community
athletics department but students and him today,” Murray said. “He was more dance so of course I started doing it and appearance for him was three years ago.
fans know him better by another name: like most other mascots. He just sort of then the dance team started doing it and While visiting a school for autistic chil-
Wolfie. sat around and hung out with the fans one of the girls said, ‘What if we could dren, he walked into a small class with
“I’ve developed a Spider-Man com- and cheerleaders a bit.” do this on the court?’ Once that hap- the most severely affected children.
plex,” Murray said. “I walk around in But Murray explained that Wolfie pened it just snowballed.” “One of the girls started petting my
the suit and everyone knows me, gives definitely has a personality now. The dancing is a big part of what it nose and saying ‘soft’ and ‘nose.’ One of
me high-fives. I take it off and I see the “He’s a big child. He’s mischievous means to be Wolfie now. “You have to the teachers starting crying and there I
world just the same, but no one knows and fun and always benevolent. He’s a make it a show,” Murray said. “It’s what am inside this suit tearing up too. They
who I am.” prankster really, but never mean. All of separates us from other schools. It was were so grateful. That’s one moment I’m
While Murray is no longer the main this has developed over the years. I the powder keg and our spirit program going to remember for the rest of my
man inside the suit— athletics currently never tried but it just sort of happened.” has sort of blown up from there.” life.”
employs two other Wolfies—the science Spend some time with Murray and “Athletics has come a long way in Back in Hartford, Murray, out of
education graduate student remains ac- it’s not hard to see where Wolfie gets his the last few years. But as I tell them, costume, continues to stir up the crowd.
tive within the athletics department, personality. His office attire, an over- ‘UConn wasn’t built in a night.’ We’re His next cheer is meant to mimic a
working as an assistant in its external af- sized dress shirt and poorly knotted tie, still a developing division-one pro- roller coaster ride with fans screaming
fairs office. evoke a child playfully dressed in his fa- gram.” while holding their arms above their
“On paper, I manage the Wolfies,” ther’s work clothes. Any mention of And Murray and the athletics de- heads.
he said. “It’s my job to manage their fu- Stony Brook athletics leads to wide- partment want Stony Brook to develop “Everybody ready for the roller
ture and find people to take over for eyed excitement and a barrage of facts. into Long Island’s premiere college ath- coaster?” he shouts. “Alright! Strap in!”
me.” The one word that Murray uses to letics program. They believe that will
The Stony Brook Press AA E-ZINE 13

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14 Ads! Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011
The Stony Brook Press Ads! 15
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editors@sbpress.com
16 Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011

arts&entertainment
No...This is Not It
try and understand what exactly was
By Eileen Quaranto going on. The more I listened to the
album, the more I realized why I hated
it so much–it’s different. It’s not the old
It’s been ten years since The Strokes Strokes. It’s absolutely not what you’re
released their mind-blowing debut expecting. If you’re reading this and
album, Is This It, an instant modern contemplating whether or not to buy
classic generally regarded as musical the album, allow me to suggest that
perfection. Ever since then the band has maybe you just go on iTunes and pre-
set a certain status for themselves as view a few songs first before making the
icons of the post-millennial indie-rock commitment to spend ten dollars on
scene. Faithful fans such as myself have something that may only make your
spent the past five years of the Strokes’ head explode trying to find the old
hiatus waiting for another masterpiece. Strokes in between the music. They’re
And what do we get? Angles. not there.
Strokes…where do I begin? First of Rumors have been circulating on
all–why? Why have you done this? the good ol’ unreliable Internet that The
What is this? Listen, honestly, I didn’t Strokes themselves don’t even like this
even know what to think at first. I had album, and that they almost broke up
to check to make sure it was actually completely while trying to put this piece
The Strokes. Julian Casablancas, what of shit together. Another popular claim
are you trying to do with your voice? seems to be that Casablancas wasn’t
Why do you feel the need to sing all the even actually present for recording and
way up there in that high pitch when sent the band his voice recordings via
your deep nonchalant voice is what email. This, to me, seems a little far-
made you so famous? The opener, fetched, although it seems to stem from
“Machu Picchu,” lures you in with this Casablancas’ slight relinquishment of M.C. Escher. That’s deep.
sick little bass line, only to let you down power for the fourth album: whereas Is
when you hear Casablancas whining, “It This It and Room on Fire are credited as would do for me–Room on Fire was still spacey song at the end of the album
isn’t yours, but somebody else’s voice“ written solely by “Julian Casablancas,” a good album. Ten years may just be too suggestive of Radiohead and Muse. The
(Ironic much?) Then you have the sin- Angles is written by “The Strokes.” long to stay the same. People all have to last song on the album, “Life Is Simple
gle “Under the Cover of Darkness,” Alas, in defense of The Strokes, I change some time. In The Moonlight,” is worth the trouble
which is actually an annoying pop tune feel compelled to point out the not-so- I do believe that some people will of a download at least.
spinning off the First Impressions of obvious: this is not Is This It. That is to like this album–some people, some- If you’re just looking for a few songs
Earth sound that leaves much to be de- say, the problem with Angles is not re- where in the world—but any hardcore to refresh the Stroke-ness in your life,
sired. “Two Kinds of Happiness” and ally the horribleness of the album itself, fan of Is This It will not be one of those then you might want to check out these
“Games” are even worse and could both but the perfectness of Is This It. Having people. At least not right away. That three, and maybe “Under the Cover of
easily pass for bad eighties pop songs, created an album so groundbreaking in being said, there are a few songs on the Darkness” if you can stand the silliness
while “You’re So Right” just sounds like its simplicity and skill so early in their album that are actually iPod worthy and of it. But before investing in the album
some kind of angry techno-rave piece of career, how can The Strokes be expected I might even say I’d recommend them as a whole (you know, with the case and
garbage. to follow in their own footsteps? The (wow!) “Taken For A Fool” has a nice the stupid cellophane paper that takes
Ok, let’s calm down now. guys can only make so many songs that trippy bass line and you can hear a bit forever to peel off and the boring Escher
I don’t want to believe The Strokes sound like “Last Night” and “This Mod- of the “old Strokes” in it (that is, until it illusion they chose for Angles’ artwork)
have been techno-fied. I don’t think any ern Age.” Simultaneously, we also have gets to the chorus and turns into some- I think you may want to stop and ask
of us want to believe that. Basking in de- the problem of the fan’s expectations. thing off a Disney channel soundtrack, yourself a question first: are you ready
nial of The Strokes’ demise, I forced my- We all want The Strokes to be as good but you can just pretend you don’t hear to let go of the old Strokes?
self to listen to Angles over and over, as as they were in 2001. Hey, even 2003 that part.) “Metabolism,” is another I know I’m not.
torturous an experience as that was, to
The Stony Brook Press Arts & Entertainment 17

Dodos: No Longer Extinct


magnificent slow burn of a
By Andi Liao track that flips their song-
writing talents on its head
and ends with a beautiful
In the wake of their groundbreak- harmonic choral vocal sec-
ing 2009 debut album Visiter, the tion.
Dodos’ sophomore effort Time To Die Present especially on the
seemed like a significant letdown by middle track “Don’t Try and
comparison. With Visiter, they accom- Hide It,” the band enlisted
plished something truly amazing. They the help of folk heroine Neko
managed to find a sort of perfect space Case to provide backup vo-
among the rumbling tribal hymns of the cals. What’s really great
nu-primitive genre pioneered by Ani- about her presence on the
mal Collective and Yeasayer. album is that it’s subdued.
The Dodos were able to carve out a Unlike most bands that
tight little niche in this burgeoning would forego their tradi-
scene by diving even deeper into the tional musical tendencies to
primitive past with their unique and dy- cater to the guest artist, Case
namic duo—Meric Long strumming blends in perfectly with
like a mad genius on acoustic guitar and Long’s harmonies and acts as
Logan Kroeber furiously pounding a real backup singer. Her vo-
away like a some hell-bent demon on cals add just that extra bit of
the drums. oomph to push the band past
What really made them stand out the familiar trappings of
from most of their contemporaries was staying the same.
the relationship the duo shared. It al- had grown to adore. No Color is a truly masterful slice of
Another thing to add is that the
ways seemed like they were battling to I personally loved the album be- what Long and Kroeber see through
song’s use in a commercial for a wa-
be heard. There was such an immense cause I love everything, but a clear and their kaleidoscopic looking glass, envi-
tered-down, shit-tasting beer hasn’t
raw power that the emanated from just defined presence was lacking in the sioning and embodying what music
hurt them in the very least, unlike the
a guitar and drum-set. It was sort of a recordings. I was left desiring much, means to them. Opening with the track
backlash that followed when Grizzly
relentless assault on our collective much more. Most critics will agree that “Black Night,” we are immediately
Bear’s “Two Weeks” was featured in a
eardrums. Pounding and pounding “Troll Nacht” was their most beautiful greeted by Kroeber’s driving and force-
Volkswagen commercial. So I guess that
away until you’re dripping with sweat composition to date. The subdued na- ful drumming as it opens up to Long’s
says something about the integrity of
and dry heaving like a dog chasing cars. ture of Meric Long’s vocals was perfect simultaneous finger-picking and mad-
the band, or however you want to inter-
When their second album dropped, for settling into the cozy atmosphere of man strumming and his clear and pres-
pret that.
I was hyped beyond belief. Once I got a the orange and red hues of a chilly au- ent, yet guttural, singing style.
So if you fell in love with the
good listen to it, it was clear that the tumn afternoon. It’s very clear that the Dodos have
pounding melodies of Visiter, go out
band was taking its music in a different If Time to Die had been released be- returned to their roots. Stripping down
and buy this album. It’s really, really
direction. The songs were more sub- fore Visiter, things would have been dif- the excessive production from Time To
beautiful and will put you in that per-
dued and lacked the raw power that Vis- ferent. To me, it would seem like a Die to the bare bones that defined their
fect state of mind. You’ll thank me later.
iter contained. They were polished and gradual building up of energy that vision, they took what they had from
clean, which in itself is a good thing, but would eventually explode on their Visiter and built it up in a totally differ-
lacked that emotion and vigor that we newest album, No Color. ent way. On “Sleep,” we’re treated to a
18 Arts & Entertainment Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011

Wearing a Shirt Pays Off!


to fade a little into the
By Lauren DuBois background. Josh
Lucas, as the attorney
who goes up against
Who knew wearing a shirt would Mick in the court-
be a good choice for Matthew Mc- room, unfortunately
Conaughey? fades as his character
In the new legal drama, based off begins to appear more
the book by Michael Connelly, Mc- spineless than a tough
Conaughey plays Mick Haller, a Los prosecutor. And
Angeles defense attorney who repre- Michael Peña as a for-
sents the “scumbags” of society, all from mer client of Mick’s is
the backseat of his Lincoln, hustling his in and out of the
way through clever back alley deals that movie so fast, that if it
get his prostitute and motorcycle gang weren’t for the pivotal
clients off the hook, even as prosecutors role he plays, he would
and cops see him as a dirt bag for free- just be insignificant.
ing the very people they want to lock Overall, the film is
away. superb, especially in
After a bail bondsman (John relation to much of
Leguizamo) hooks Mick up with a what the box office
spoiled and wealthy client, Louis Roulet has offered so far in
(Ryan Philippe), who claims innocence Hey, bro, give me a kiss. 2011. It manages to
after he is locked up on charges of as- between this case and one from Mick’s roles of the past decade. Philippe also keep its audience en-
saulting a young woman he followed past, and Mick has run-ins with his not- does a good job of playing the spoiled thralled throughout, and does a solid
home from a bar. Mick is a bit skeptical so-ex-wife, prosecutor Maggie (Marisa rich kid, and manages to use his pretty- job of selling a story that could easily
of Roulet’s story that he was set up, but Tomei). boy looks to an extent where it becomes have gone the way of one of the many
takes him on as a client because he won- Most of the acting is superb in the just believable that there is a vicious courtroom crime dramas on TV and
ders if Roulet is that all-too-rare truly film, but perhaps the large number of sicko lurking underneath the surface. been too cheesy and contrived to be en-
innocent guy. As the case continues on big meal-ticket names does begin to Tomei as Maggie is a wonderful treat tirely believable.
however, new revelations in the investi- hurt the smaller guys after a while. Mc- because she actually gets to play a Hopefully, McConaughey makes
gation start to complicate things. Conaughey does a fantastic job as woman more her own age, a breath of more returns to the screen in roles of
The story, which never fails to add a Haller, emoting from concern and fear fresh air if there ever was one. this caliber, because while it would cer-
new twist or turn in its two-hour run- at parts, to anger, regret, and outrage William H. Macy as Mick’s investi- tainly be a shame to lose his bare chest
time, manages to keep the audience on and revenge seamlessly. The role does gator Frank is a refreshing role with a all the time, it would be much more of a
the edges of their seats, as Roulet and him much more justice than his often bit of a comedic edge, but he is dis- shame for him to go back to cheesy
his alleged victim are painted in entirely shirtless and care-free romantic comedy pensed of a bit early, which forces him rom-com obscurity.
different lights, connections are made
The Stony Brook Press Arts & Entertainment 19

Modern-day Chrono Trigger Doesn’t Suck


By Nick Statt
Dusting off my Nintendo DS for a
role-playing game sounded at first like
an easy way to blow 35 bucks. With the
dozens of hours that an RPG would re-
quire, I was apprehensive to re-spark
my handheld gaming tendencies with
something that might lead me to shelf
it away for lack of time, effort and in-
terest. But I really wanted to give Radi-
ant Historia a try, and it was after all a
time travel-based game from Atlus, the
makers of Pokemon rip-off Robopon
(which maybe only two or three other
people played besides myself), with a
much-hyped old school, 16-bit look to
it.
It was a good thing I did, because
Radiant Historia, which was released on
Feb. 22, is an impressively solid RPG
that mixes in the dozens of improve-
ments the genre has seen in the last two
decades while still keeping the core
components clean and simple like they
did in the good old days of 1995 and the
tles that came before. Atlus didn’t think time travel, like the 1995 classic, and al- By traveling between histories and
SNES. However, its most impressive
their new title needed to gun for serious ternate histories that you can switch be- throughout different points in time, you
quality is its alarmingly interactive and
innovation, so Radiant Historia has it tween, like the 2000 sequel. alter the different paths as they progress
complex storyline that...yes, does deal
all—brooding hero with an unrealistic However, none of these factors forward, all while Stocke experiences
with time travel.
haircut, military storyline that starts make the game bad. In fact, Radiant every instance and becomes more
Now, Radiant Historia is not going
narrow and becomes epically cata- Historia takes them all and beautifully knowledgeable of the greater struggle
to win any awards for originality. When
strophic, magical instrument that grants blends them together to make for a very and becomes stronger in battle.
the formula for a RPG has been re-
world-altering powers but can’t be ex- worthwhile experience, and any RPG The battle system is very much in
worked in, out, up and down hundreds
plained...the list goes on. fan knows that doing these old things in line with the rest of the game in that is
of times, it may be near impossible to
In terms of mechanics, the game a fresh way makes for a great install- a familiar and comfortable style that
come up with something that is still
also borrows from some of the titans of ment in the genre. RPG veterans will have no trouble
true to the genre and isn’t seriously bor-
the genre. Combat is set up in turns in- Speaking of time travel, it is indeed grasping, yet is fast-paced and unique
rowing from the dozens of landmark ti-
stead of time-based, and you the crux of the game. You play as Stocke, enough when you go beneath the sur-
can swap the whole list to a humble yet skilled agent in the intelli- face that every battle becomes a chal-
meet your strategic needs, gence division of Allistel, a nation at war lenge. The way Atlus achieved this was
which was a well-done staple with its neighbor Granorg over territory with a system that allows your charac-
of Final Fantasy X’s system. rights to fertile land. The fertile land is ters to move the enemies around on a
Another borrowed element is a precious resource in the world of grid with push and grapple techniques.
the implementation of skills Vainqueur because of desertification, This allows you to hit multiple enemies
outside of battle, which is which, at the beginning of the game, has at once if a previous character pushes or
something that handheld no known cause and is turning every- pulls them on top of each other, but
RPG titan Golden Sun did thing to sand. Atlus also decided to make each battle
quite well back in the days of The game makes its formula clear difficult enough that you have to do
the Gameboy Advance. For early on when Stocke is faced with a that, meaning you almost always fight
instance, your character can crucial decision—stay behind the upwards of four enemies at once.
momentarily become invisi- scenes with the intelligence division or So if you’re looking for some RPG
ble to enemies or you can go to the front lines with his best friend nostalgia with a refreshingly unique and
drag and pull rocks or explo- and championed war hero. That deci- interactive storyline, Radiant Historia is
sive barrels during elemen- sion becomes the foundational split in a no-brainer. It will bring the Final Fan-
tary, yet not monotonous, Radiant Historia when Stocke is given tasy, Chrono Trigger and Golden Sun
puzzle solving. the White Chronicle, a book that allows aesthetic right to the surface and maybe
Radiant Historia also him to replay crucial events in the past, even enter your own RPG canon be-
seems to have a plot that which initially allows him to split the cause yes, it actually is that good. Let’s
nears a perfect blend of timeline in two by letting the player hope Atlus can use this as a springboard
Chrono Trigger and its sequel choose both options at the beginning of for another even greater RPG down the
Chrono Cross, for it has both the game. line.
20 Comics! Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011
The Stony Brook Press Comics! 21
22 Opinion Vol. XXXII, Issue 11|Friday, April 1, 2011

Crouching Tiger, Sleeping Asian


4. Desks: Third is more reliable than it is on the 2nd
By Anders Boule Floor//Staller floor, so keep that in mind.

3. Painting/Printmaking Stu-
Are you Asian? Do you frequently
find yourself sleeping in the library? dios: Fourth Floor//Staller
Tired of sleeping in the library?
Well, boy do I have good news for These studios are great for sleeping
you! The Stony Brook Press proudly in. During the semester, there are virtu-
presents you with the top 5 places to ally no people inside after-hours except
sleep on campus. when art students pull multiple all-
nighters in them to finish a single paint-
5. Couches: Second ing. Fucking hippies (I kid, I kid). These
rooms have big tables and prop couches
Floor//Staller to sleep, on so you’re set. However, you
have to have explicit access to these well as a reasonably comfy couch-chair.
rooms to be able to get in after-hours. If You’ve also got a huge window to com-
you’re taking a printmaking class, you’ll fortably watch the rats and dogs of this
likely get a key inside a locker to work campus run around outside on the
there whenever you want, but you kind Lawn or miserably trudging to and
of have to be actually doing work. And from class. However, this room is ex-
Many of you may already if you’re lucky enough to be a monitor clusive as it requires a keypad-entered
be familiar with this location as for the painting studio, you’ll have a key code to get in. You’ll have find that out
I’ve seen so many of you fuck- to get in whenever you want. I don’t yourselves, fuckers.
ers studying Bio, Chem or want to see any of you non-art students
whatever other stupid shit that in there. You philistine apes. 1. Stony Brook Press Of-
isn’t art whenever I needed to fice: Basement//Union
use the space. But aside from 2. Photo Checkout Room:
the foreign exchange students This is the best place to sleep on
who don’t speak a word of Eng-
Fourth Floor//Staller
campus ever. Hands down. Huge comfy
lish that frequently squat there, couches, video games, Netflix, a mi-
it’s another great spot in Staller. This room is one of, if not, the best
to squat/chill in. Not only is it heated to crowave and the most reliable internet
Despite its appearance, the on campus. However, you have to be a
chairs are surprisingly cush- keep your sorry ass warm during the
cold winter months, but it also has a member of The Press to be able to ap-
ioned and comfortable and you preciate its beauty. So come on down
can recline back and have your fridge to keep your shitty leftovers fresh
for another day. You’ve got a high- and join The Press. We meet on
laptop or whatever on the table Wednesdays in 060 at 1pm. Also, don’t
in front of you. However, the Wi-Fi here perched desk with Ethernet access as
suck.
This is an ideal spot because not
only is it dark enough at night to lull
you to sleep, the location of the long
row of couches affords you enough
seclusion to keep prying eyes from
scoping out your spot. What’s also great
is that the building is open 24 hours a
day, seven days a week, which means
that you have access to this prime piece
of real estate whenever you so desire.
Although I would recommend you not
sleep there until late at night, say around
midnight or later, as there will be a con-
sistent flow of veteran art students,
freshmen taking ARS 154 for their DEC
requirements and the occasional tour
group passing through downstairs to
bother you, but otherwise, your spot is
safe. Another great perk is that right
after you step through the double doors
to overlook the Gallery, you have un-
limited access to Stony Brook’s great
and reliable (sarcasm) Wi-Fi network.
So you can watch your shitty Netflix
movies all night long.
The Stony Brook Press Opinion 23

If You’re Bored, Then You’re Boring


We work hard, we should play hard
By Nick Post too.
Why? Because we’re young adults in
2011. We’re college students. There will
We’ve all heard the complaints. be a time when I won’t be able to stay
“There’s nothing fun to do on campus” out all night, wash off the face paint, eat
or “Nothing cool ever happens on Long an egg sandwich, and be ready for busi-
Island.” It’s the sentiment shared by ness as usual in the morning. Right now,
many students currently living and my body and mind are capable of it and
studying in our little bubble on the I know from my daily interactions with
North Shore and it’s one of the more middle-aged professionals that it’s one
frustrating aspects of student life. of those “don’t know what you’ve got ‘til
Believe it or not, Stony Brook Uni- it’s gone” perceptions.
versity used to be cool. In the 60’s and So what do we do? Well, what do
70’s, the school hosted major artists in- you do when it’s Friday night and you’re
cluding Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix and ready to go out? Get in touch with your
Lou Reed. Now it seems as though we’re friends and see if anything is happen-
lucky to book decent acts and the events ing. Same idea, larger scale. Where to
we do schedule seem to host crowds Just jammin’ to Yanni. Don’t judge me, bro. then? What’s the first space to invade?
who would rather look at their phones The Rock Yo Face Case on April 4
than the stage. Putting aside the politics might be a good place to start. It’s in an
killers are apathy and passivity. Students amount of exceedingly dull events that
and financial concerns that weave to- obscure corner of the campus and it’s
feel that they need to be entertained, remind me of ice cream socials is stag-
gether the various clubs and organiza- dark, intimate, hot and let’s not forget–
that it is the university’s problem they gering and it seems as though the or-
tions on which we depend for our a bar. Think: all the good parts of a
are bored–a nonsensical attitude that chestrators of these are completely out
entertainment, we have no choice but to Ke$ha video. You’re probably not doing
does nothing to alleviate the feeling. of touch with us. Yet there are events
look in the mirror. anything on a Monday night anyway, so
And I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the lack- put on for students, by students. They
Are we too cool for our own cam- you can sit in your dorm and smoke a
luster attitude we possess when it comes don’t work because we’re not going to
pus? Or are we simply just not fun any- bowl or you can party.
to having fun. them. And we’re not having fun at
more? I believe the deadliest party
It’s an uphill battle, I know. The them.

Searching For Help


among crisis responders and victims. Crisis Response team gets
By Nicole Kohn Tools such as Person Finder and Re-
source Finder provide updated satellite
the severity and scope of
disasters and makes a
imagery and maps of affected areas to page dedicated to it. For
Natural disasters rob people of their illustrate infrastructure damage and example, the
prized possessions, their homes and help relief organizations navigate disas- Christchurch Earth-
most importantly, their livelihoods. ter zones. The website also allows for quake, which recently
Earthquakes, tsunamis and floods have donations to charitable organizations happened in New and hosted from the United States, it
impacted people’s lives, even when that are providing direct relief on-the- Zealand, as well as the Chile Earth- can be of more informative use to the
those people were sufficiently prepared ground. quake that happened in 2010 are two of Japanese people here than the vague
and had the capacity to cope and re- When asked about the site, Lynn the many disasters that have pages. sensationalist reporting that is normally
cover quickly. Those unfortunately hit Sciacca, 18, a journalism major said, “I Many of the pages have a tool called the seen,” he said.
by a disaster, are in desperate need of think it’s an easy way to keep everyone Person Finder. It gives you the option of Crisis Response has taken the use of
help, and that’s where google.com/cri- updated on what’s happening, and it’s either looking for a missing person that the Internet to a whole new level, and
sisresponse comes into the equation. exceptionally easy to use.” Google has has not been found in the disaster, or if makes helping out and donating to
Google Crisis Response makes in- been helping people respond to disas- you have any information about a per- those in need a trouble-free doing. Peo-
formation more accessible about natu- ters since Hurricane Katrina in 2005. son you can provide it. ple usually come up with excuses of why
ral disasters and humanitarian crisis. When a disaster hits a country and dif- Each page also has a map that al- they don’t donate because they don’t
This is a project of Google.org, which ferent charity organizations form to lows you to track changes and follow know where their money goes to, but
uses Google’s strengths in information help raise money, it’s difficult to track the developments on the ground. The that is not an excuse anymore. It gives
and technology to help address global where the money goes. Google Crisis Google Crisis Response also keeps you families who can’t find their loved ones
challenges. Google Crisis Response may Response provides a couple of safe or- updated with the latest news on the dis- a chance to report they are missing, or
initiate many types of activities, includ- ganizations to donate to that are posted asters around the world. Kevin on a more happier note receiving infor-
ing: Organizing emergency alerts, news on each individual page according to McLoughlin, 21, an English major, was mation that their loved one was found.
updates and donation opportunities. what disaster you are looking to help surprised when finding out about Crisis This site is just the start of helping peo-
This information is made visible donate. The recently made page is ded- Response. “I think it’s exceptionally well ple who have been struck by a natural
through Google web properties, build- icated to the devastation in Japan. designed, as expected of Google. I like disaster and it can only get better from
ing engineering tools that enable better A big part of the website is the page that it gives extremely detailed infor- here.
communication and collaboration called Response Efforts. The Google mation so, even though it’s in English
The
Friday, April 1, 2011

Statesman www.sbstatesmang.org Volume LIV, Issue 24


Bland Headline To So You Wanna Be
a Reporter, See?
Hint At the Story cinating sources you’re
By Nutgraf “Scoop” Jones sure to encounter, such as
Contributing Writer astronauts, the President,
So you’ve taken a and Jesus Christ himself.
News Literacy class and Also, remember to lick the
want to take your newfound tip of your pencil before
skills beyond opening you write, or the ghost of
metaphorical freezers and Walter Cronkite will haunt
into the exciting world of you in your sleep.
journalism. Keep in mind that
In today’s economy, it you’re not a real journalist
makes complete fiscal unless everyone knows it.
sense to become a journal- Be sure to tell your family
ist, but you’re unsure how and friends as frequently as
to play the part. Luckily, all possible. In time, you can
you need to do is follow develop a pretentiously
these easy steps and you’ll smug attitude and learn to
be “scooping” stories and say “see” at the end of
snapping pictures of Spi- every sentence just like
der-Man before you know every hard-nosed journalist
it. that came before you.
In order to play the It’s also a good idea to
part, you have to dress the wear a press badge or other
part. Standard attire for all indicative attire when
journalists includes a long, you’re not on the beat in the
brown trenchcoat, sus- hopes that strangers and
interviewed by the reporter. “And or had the time to do some re- penders, a derby hat and a passerbys will admire your
then we would follow up with an- search, we would present a fact pencil-thin mustache. That noble role in society.
By Howie Newsberkman And remember, a good
Pretentious Title for Volunteer Newspaper other quote just to make sure the that we hope would not display said, a journalist does not
40 minutes we spent with this the bias we know exists (i.e. need to shower or shave, so story never sleeps, and nei-
This is a lede. The purpose of subject were well worth the Stony Brook Shuttlecock Rulez!). the patchouli stink and ther should you! Drinking
this poorly-worded misinterpreta- time.” We’ve learned that this is the mustache should come nat- copious amounts of black
tion of a popular phrase is to grab And this is where we intro- way most journalism works, as urally, even if you’re a fe- coffee and smoking unfil-
your attention and compell you duce conflict to make something evidenced from the completely male. tered Lucky Strikes will
to read the rest of this article. that is probably not a story, a unprofessional Stony Brook Secondly, a real jour- keep your nerves at atten-
At this point, only ten percent story. This will be done by intro- Press to Long Island’s bastion of nalist doesn’t leave their tion into the wee hours of
of the students whose eyes casu- ducing another person who dis- journalistic integrity, Newsday. cluttered studio apartment the night.
ally scanned over our front page, agrees with the first person we However, we strive to be or parents’ basement with- It goes without saying
often viewed by a bathroom stall introduced. more bland, boring, and com- out some essential tools. A that if you’re a journalist,
or the top of a garbage can, have “If you thought you we were pletely whitebred than any other miniature notepad and pen- you can change the world.
soldiered past our feeble attempt done using quotes, you were campus newsource...anywhere. cil should be fairly obvious, And by “change the world”
to copy the New York Times. wrong,” yet another source would as no instrument is better we mean “eat bagels.”
“This is where a quote would say, “...Dead wrong.” At this
See CHANGING THE WORLD suited for transcribing See SEE on 4
go,” said someone presumably point, if we were lucky enough, on 3 quotes from the many fas-
Hyper-dramatic, consistely re-hashed intro- USG member quits and tells all! We provide Shhhh...highlights! Yes, that’s right, turn to our
duction that is almost always a physical descrip- you expert analysis on everything-USG, including back pages for the full recap of everything Stony
tion of a room and/or person. Look out for a large a month’s old story about SBU-TV. Will it ever go Brook sports. It’s the perfect place to get the latest
half-page photo with the headline overlayed like away? We’ll make sure it won’t! box scores to all of last week’s games. Just don’t
they have been doing in The Stony Brook Press get lost in the ads, bro!
for a very long time.