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Table of Contents

Chapter #1
A Lesson On Male/Female Dynamics ............ 6

Chapter #2
Understanding Why He Broke Up With You ........... 15

Chapter #3
No Contact ...................... 21

Chapter #4
Push/Pull Theory ...................... 29

Chapter #5
Letting Go: Strategies To Reverse Reiection .........32

Chapter #6
Taking Your LiIe Back: Other Strategies To Reverse Reiection .. 35

Chapter #7
II He`s Already Dating .................. 44

Chapter #8
Preventing A Breakup BeIore It Happens In The First Place ..... 47

Chapter #9
Rewarding Good Behavior .................. 52

Chapter #10
Punishing Bad Behavior ................... 56

Chapter #11
Let Him Invest In You ................... 61

Chapter #12
Re-Evaluating Your Relationship .............. 64


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Act With Integrity & Respect My Copyright

I understand that not everyone reading this book has purchased it. Not
everyone has disposable income to throw around. I truly understand
that.

Part oI being an attractive woman is to act with integrity and self-
respect. I kindly ask that you make a genuine purchase oI this product
aIter it changes your liIe Ior the better. iI you have indeed obtained it
illegally.

Please do not send this eBook or any oI my other copyrighted material
to your Iriends. I trust you will act with integrity and reIer them to my
website. where they can respectIully purchase it Ior themselves.

Keep in mind that we value that which we invest in. II you spend
your hard earned money on this product. you will appreciate it to its
Iullest extent. II you invested nothing. this product will merely be an
aIter thought and end up collecting dust on your hard drive.

I trust you will make the right choice and act with integrity. :-)

Copyright © 2008 Get Him Back Forever¹

All rights reserved.

Any and all unauthorized use and/or distribution oI this eBook is
strictly prohibited under international law.











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Introduction

First oI all. I`d like to congratulate you on purchasing this liIe chang-
ing product. I promise I will deliver 100° oI the promises I made on
the sales page. This has truly been a labor oI love Ior me. and regard-
less oI how well this book sells. I take pride in knowing I have created
the best possible product I could ever hope to produce. I truly believe
that.

Sometimes it seems as though men are oII in their own little world.
The lack oI emotional sensitivity. their inability to pick up on the
'right¨ thing to say at the right time. It can be unbelievably Irustrat-
ing.

This book is all about demystiIying men and giving you a step-by-step
blueprint to getting the man oI your aIIections back (and Ior good this
time). It deals with strategies you can start applying literally the
minute you read about them.

In my opinion. getting your ex boyIriend back will be the easy part.
It`s keeping him 'tame¨ and loyal toward you that is the real chal-
lenge. I will go Iar beyond simply teaching you to get your ex back
and toward the end oI this book we will begin discussing methods and
techniques to keep the man in your liIe under your 'spell¨. No mani-
pulation or anything unethical required.

With the divorce rate hovering at over 60° in the western world.
there is deIinitely something happening NOW in our society that
wasn`t in the past. I made it my mission to discover what exactly it
was and how exactly to maintain a IulIilling. long lasting and loyal
relationship.

As a proIessional relationship coach Ior almost six years now (as oI
this writing). I began to pick up on common trends and patterns. I be-
gan to see what common things couples did that lead to their eventual
breakup. And later. what common things couples did to get back to-
gether.


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I had succeeded and 'cracked the code¨. You. my dear Iriend. will
reap the beneIits oI my quest Ior relationship success.

This book is not iust written Irom the perspective oI a man but also
Irom the perspective oI many women who successIully got back their
boyIriends (and husbands). I took it upon myselI to interview as many
women as I possibly could. You see. male-Iemale dynamics has al-
ways been something oI interest to me. I talk about it whenever I get a
chance to. What I have discovered as a result is nothing short oI asto-
nishing.

























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eIore we get into the 'getting your ex boyIriend back¨ part. I
need to take you on a little iourney Iirst. II I iust give you the
steps without you understanding the core reasoning behind
them. I doubt they would be anywhere near as eIIective. So let`s be-
gin:

Men and women have always been 'wired¨ diIIerently Irom one
another. Sure. there are many similarities. but I don`t think I really
have to convince you that there are vast differences in terms oI how
our brains Iunction. DiIIerences in what we are both attracted to on a
deep. psychological level.

Traditionally. it is the woman`s iob to be the selectorin courtship ri-
tuals. ScientiIically speaking. it`s the man`s iob to pursue and the
woman`s iob to either accept or reiect said advances. It`s literally been
like this Ior all oI human evolution. Our brains are hard wired to take
on these so called 'roles¨.

Now. obviously this can be a huge advantage Ior women. iI only they
would embrace and accept this concept in its entirety. In many cases
this role gets reversed and a woman will Iind herselI pursuing a man
not the other way around.

Sometimes women will begin to seek her mans approval by dressing
overly sexy. pretending to like or be interested in the same things he
is. etc. Think back and try to remember when exactly the tables
turned?

Originally. was it your ex boyIriend who displayed interest in you and
pursued you? Was he the one working and chasing you? Did you ul-
timately select him? I`m willing to wager he was. But something
changed along the way; something that made him lose interest in you.

Your desire Ior a lasting long term relationship was so overpowering.
you valued that pursuit more than selecting the best possible mate on
your terms (the way it`s supposed to be).

The typical courtship ritual goes something as Iollows:
B

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The man shows interest and attraction Ior you. Chemistry starts to
kick in and you 'test¨ him to see iI he`s a good Iit or not. In essence
you are the selector. testing to see whether or not he is a good Iit Ior a
long term relationship.

To regain control oI your Iailed relationship. you must clearly estab-
lish that you are the selector and he is the one pursuing you. You need
to re-aIIirm your Ieminine role as the selector and not the selectee.

~He who cares least. controls the relationship¨

Remember those words. because right now you care most. otherwise
you would not be reading this book. And let`s Iace it. you cannot sud-
denly turn oII your strong Ieelings Ior your ex boyIriend and magical-
ly care less. Emotions don`t work that way (although it would certain-
ly be nice iI they did).

The good news is. there are very speciIic things you can do to re-
aIIirm your role as selector again. There are things you can do to drive
your man crazy with iealousy and desire (we`ll get to that in later
chapters).

Casual Girl vs. Girlfriend Material

You must never be iust a 'casual girl¨ to any man you value. This is
Ior your beneIit as much as it is his. The truth is. there are women
men keep around as iust 'casual girls¨ and then there are those who
they consider 'girlIriend material¨.

Kind oI like how most all women have men who they iust consider
Iriends (and would never sleep with) and others that they would in a
heartbeat. With men. this phenomenon is not as pronounced.

This may or may not apply to you. but iI you are currently still sleep-
ing with your ex boyIriend. stop immediately. Don`t Iall into the trap
oI believing that iust mavbe he will want you back iI you maintain

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your physical connection. You need a commitment Irom him. One
that doesn`t iust involve sex.

How can he ever place value on you iI you hardly even value yourselI
enough to expect more than iust sex? You DO want more than that.
otherwise you would NOT be reading this book.

II you -really- no matter what. wanted to get your boyIriend back.
you would call him on the phone and tell him that he could have sex
with you. no strings attached any time he wanted to. anywhere and in
whatever manner he wanted. Most men would accept those terms and
you would 'have him back¨ -but that`s not what vou want.

You want his heart. You want him to love and desire you. You want
to be pursued and viewed as a prize; held up proud in Iront oI all his
Iriends.

II you cannot value yourselI enough to recognize when enough is
enough. he owns you. And iI he thinks he owns you (and this is true
Ior both sexes) he will walk all over you.

Again: He who cares least. controls the relationship.

I want to drill those words into your head because they ring so true.
The Hollywood. Iairytale version oI a happy couple simply does not
exist (and never has). Yes. love is alive and a very real emotional
state. but you cannot allow yourselI to let that emotion take over your
better iudgment.

Love is a lot like a drug when you really think about it. You can be-
come so addicted to a man`s validationthat you would literally do an-
ything to get it. iust a little more. more. And then he owns you.
And he knows it.

Perceived Value Is Everything in a Relationship

Who wants what thev alreadv have? I mean. reallv think about that.


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OI course. that question goes Iar beyond male-Iemale relationships. II
somebody were to take the internet away Irom you. TV and other
Iorms oI passive entertainment. you would go nuts! I sure as hell
would.

You take them completely Ior granted. But. iI you knew in advance
that you were on the verge oI losing them. you would place a hell oI a
lot more value on those things. In Iact. you would take steps working
toward keeping them.

So what does this have to do with relationships? Everything. The key
to keeping any man interested. attracted and putting effort into you is
to never let him believe he completely has you no matter what.

Kind oI like when you put a string in Iront oI a cat and let it run
around endlessly chasing aIter it. Then. when you lay the string down.
it no longer wants it. Yes. I can be cruel and I have done this beIore. :)

You can be loving and you can be caring - but you can never let your
man believe that you are the metaphorical string laying on the Iloor.
Valueless.

Getting your man back. requires you to (in a sense) give him the same
Ieelings you are experiencing now. You want him to Ieel reiected by
vou.

We`ll get into that later.

The Myth That Men Only Want One Thing

I hear this all the time and it really bothers me. Let me get one thing
straight: yes. men are more Iixated on the physical aspect oI a rela-
tionship. This is genetic and there is no changing it. Work with it
not against it. However. it is absolutely not the only thing a man wants
out oI a relationship. Trust me on that.

Studies show that a lot more men commit suicide aIter a breakup than
women. A lot. A deep connection with a man is harder to Iorm from

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the start. but once that connection is made. it can become extremely
strong.

Women typically reserve their emotional connection Ior their child-
ren. while men reserve it Ior the one woman they Iall head over heels
Ior; yes I will help you become that woman in his eyes so keep read-
ing.

There is no question in my mind that men want validation and a sense
oI being loved by one special person iust as strongly as women do.
No question in my mind at all.

And. we can use that to our advantage when getting him back.

Walking Power

Too many women are aIraid oI their own boyIriend`sdisinterest. At
our core. we are all approval seeking beings. We are a social species
and it is in our nature to desire love (and to give love). Women are
aIraid that iI they demand respect. they will lose their boyIriend. It`s
Iunny and ironic how the opposite is actually true.

To some women. the Iear oI losing their boyIriend is literally crip-
pling. Maybe you`re even one oI those women. Regardless oI what
your answer is. you need to understand the concept oI 'walking pow-
er¨.

Understand that iI a man assumes that no matter how poorly he be-
haves. you will never leave him (walk away Irom him). he will con-
tinue to push your boundaries until they collapse. And as you now
know. women without boundaries have very little perceived value.

Hewill leave you when he Ieels as though he has complete control
over you. Or. keep you around as a 'side girl¨. 'booty call¨ or what-
ever you want to call it. I know that`s not why you bought this book.
You don`t want to be that girl.


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This is why having solid boundaries is oI the utmost importance.
You need to be able to stand your ground and walk away Irom him iI
you must. I promise you that once he knows you are a woman with
strong boundaries he will always respect you. with minimal 'testing¨
on your part.

You cannot show your boyIriend that you are aIraid to lose him. With
that said. it`s still perIectly Iine (and required) to let him know you
care about him (when in the context oI a relationship). In Iact. no rela-
tionship will last iI he thinks he means nothing to you. What I`m say-
ing is that you must not become so invested in him emotionally. that
losing him would seem like the end oI the world to you.

He needs to know that without him. you would have no problem mov-
ing on with your liIe. Assume the attitude 'I like you. but iI we break
up. it`s not the end oI the world.¨

When entering into a long term relationship. you truly need to adopt a
mindset that relationships are finite. Your relationship (in all proba-
bility) will not last until death due you part. Yes. it may. but ap-
proaching the relationship accepting things will not last Iorever. will
actually help achieve the latter. Oh the irony.

You see. when you`re boyIriend broke up with you. you lost your
'walking power¨. It happened gradually throughout the course oI your
relationship. You were no longer willing to walk away when he did
something unreasonable. And little by little he began to realize that he
could pretty much get away with anything he wanted.

He completely had your heart at this point. This is not a good position
to be in iI you`re a woman in a relationship. It`s a debilitating position
and you Ieel helpless. You know you shouldn`t put up with his BS.
but you do anyway. which leads to what I call Negative Patterns of
Behavior.



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Negative Patterns of Behaviour
Negative patterns oI behaviour are basically anything you let your
boyIriend get away with that you would otherwise not do Ior some-
body else. In the beginning oI a relationship we tend to 'put up¨ with
much more than we are willing to maintain months down the road.
For this reason. it is Iar more eIIective to set your oII limit boundaries
at the very beginning oI your relationship. II you wouldn`t put up with
your boyIriend being late six months into your relationship. then don`t
put up with it one month in. Catch my driIt?
Avoiding negative patterns of behaviour is absolutely critical when
deIending your boundaries. Once a negative pattern has been estab-
lished. it is very hard to break. We humans are creatures oI habit; we
absolutely hate breaking a comIortable routine. Especially men.
Your 'boundaries¨ must be set early on within the relationship. In
your case. right aIter you have him back. Letting your boyIriend bla-
tantly disrespect you will only cause a pattern oI negative behaviour
to Iorm. He`ll basically get used to you putting up with his crap. and
expect that sort oI passive compliance Irom you.
Once you Iinally clue into what`s happening. you will conIront him
about his rude behaviour. to no avail. He`ll probably even laugh at
you. You see. a negative pattern oI behaviour has already been estab-
lished and it will be an uphill battle to break out oI it.
This is exactly what happened in your relationship. Negative patterns
oI behaviour were established early on. When you stopped putting up
with these 'patterns¨. problems occurred. Arguing. ignoring each
other. etc.
II you don`t like your boyIriend treating you diIIerently when he`s
around his Iriends. then don`t put up with it Irom thevery beginning
of your relationship. It would be dishonest iI you let your boyIriend
do anything you don`t like during the 'honeymoon phase¨ oI your re-
lationship. only to get angry at him Ior doing it later on down the
road. Establish your boundaries early on.

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II you like going out with iust the girls every Tuesday. make sure you
do so Irom the very beginning. Don`t Iorego the things you enioy in
the beginning. only to re-establish them at a later date. When you try
to re-establish a new pattern oI behaviour. your boyIriend will inter-
pret it as you either losing interest in him or being mean and/or con-
trolling.
II you had set the precedentIrom the very start. (in a nice. non-
aggressive way) you wouldn`t run into that problem down the road.
No negative pattern oI behaviour would have been established.

























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et`s clear up twocommon misconceptions:



1. He did not break up with you because oI anything you speciIi-
cally said or did. It goes deeper than that.

2. He (probably) did not break up with you because oI your ap-
pearance.

There are Iour main reasons. in my proIessional experience; that men
leave women.

Reason #1: Too Much Effort

The most valuable piece oI advice ever given to me went something
along the lines oI this: 'We value that which we work for.¨ It rings
true Ior physical possessions as well as with actual people.

It is truly sad. but he very well may have lost interest in you based
solely on your over-accommodation toward his needs. We value that
which we work for and iI he believes he no longer must work pleas-
ing you and making you happy. his perception oI you will be that oI
low selI-esteem.

It is human nature to push people with low selI-esteem away Irom us.
Indeed it is a very unattractive trait.

In Iact. people with low selI-esteem try to 'Iorce¨ others to like them
through being overly accommodating and giving. Now. I`m not say-
ing you should have been selIish. iust that you should kept a mental
note as to how much he was actually pleasing you. and reward him
accordingly. (See the chapter on punishment/reward).

In a perIect world. this would not be the case. but alas this is not a
perIect world and w must accept reality.
L

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Reason #2: The Routine of Relationships

The harsh reality oI relationships is that two people become so com-
Iortable with one another that they basically stop trying. There is no
more 'thrill oI the chase¨ or sexual tension. They begin to take each
other Ior granted and thus begins the collapse oI a once 'magical¨ at-
traction Ior one another.

Both men and women are always comparing their mate to other poten-
tial prospects all the time. Even iI only on a subconscious level. When
your man begins to assume you will always be around. he loses his
motivation and urge to compete for you.

Men are genetically hard wired to complete Ior the best possible mate.

As a woman. the 'trick¨ to keeping a man loyal and even happy in
the long term. is to always have him thinking in the back oI his mind
'I better stay on top oI my game or I iust might lose her.¨ This isn`t
unethical in any way shape oI Iorm indeed he will only value and
love you all the more Ior it.

The typical story I hear constantly goes something as Iollows:

'Things were great in the beginning Matt. but then she started to let
herselI go. She was always Ilirty toward me in the beginning. laugh-
ing at my iokes and being all touchy Ieely` with me. Then all that aI-
Iection gradually went away until there was no more magic` leIt. It
was iust all boring routine. Nagging. bitching..¨

That was an actual conversation I had with a male Iriend oI mine a
Iew weeks ago. He ended up breaking up with her. saying 'we`re iust
not a good Iit anymore.¨

Let`s Iace it. women (and men too) let themselves go as the novelty oI
a new relationship wears oII. Men have egos and they have as big oI a
craving Ior validation as you do.

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You need to regain your value and establish yourselI as the high value
woman you once were in his eyes. Yes. there are speciIic techniques
Ior doing this and I will delve into them in later chapters oI this book.

For now. I want you to think about the woman you were when you
Iirst entered into your relationship and the woman you eventually be-
came. Really think about it and be honest with yourselI.

What changed? Did boring routine take over and you stopped caring
about the way you looked? Did you pick Iights with each other over
seemingly insigniIicant things? I`m willing to bet there was deIinitely
a large element oI boring routine involved in your breakup.

Reason #3: Neediness & Insecurity

Annnnnnd the universal attraction repellant is. Neediness. insecurity
and validation seeking behavior.

Guys tend to view women who are too needy as daughters. They Ieel
as though they need to take on a Father-like role. To a lot oI guys (Ior
obvious reasons) that is unattractive.

II you`re an overly emotional type oI woman and tend to pass that
emotional burden onto your boyIriend. he may have called it quits Ior
that very reason. The emotional burden could have become too much
Ior him to handle.

Personally. I have broken up with a woman Ior this very reason. She
claimed to be strong willed and independent (and at Iirst she was) but
she very quickly began opening up to me; sharing personal stories I
wasn`t ready to hear. telling me she loved me WAY too soon. etc.

I got the impression that there actually wasn`t anything special about
me at all. She chose me not Ior me but because she was desperate to
be loved by another person. It didn`t matter who that 'other¨ person
was: so long as he loved her back. I simplycouldn`t be that person so
soon and it really turned me oII.


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Reason #4: Being Too Rigid & Cold

No man wants to be with a woman who is 'tougher¨ than he is. It`s an
ego thing and there is no avoiding it. It`s iust how men are hard
coded. II a woman seeks to dominate her man. he will become ex-
tremely deIensive. To many. many men (myselI included) an overly
tough. rigid woman is tremendouslv unattractive.

When you emasculate a man. not only will he resent you Ior it. but
you will also lose any and all attraction Ior him. Women. much like
men. do not want to be with somebody they have complete and total
control over.

I`m NOT suggesting you become a doormat. No woman wants to be-
come that and very Iew men want to be around one (long term).

You simply need to realize that when you try and dominate your man
in any way. this actually pushes him away. It turns him oII on a deep
emotional level.It directly challenges his masculinity. Men are hard
wired to be competitive to be the best to be the 'alpha male¨.

The most attractive woman is a woman who is independent. yet has a
soIt vulnerable side that needs 'protecting¨. Your man wants to pro-
tect you. On a deep psychological level. he is hard wired to instinc-
tively deIend the woman he chooses as a long term mate. It`s been
like this throughout all oI human creation/evolution (depending on
your particular views).

Remember. there is a distinct balance to be had when it comes to be-
ing too vulnerable (needy) and too tough and rigid. Find and strike
this balance and your man will melt in your arms.

The Variables That Changed

Think back (long and hard) to the beginning oI your relationship.
SpeciIically what things changed within the relationship? Your beha-
vior. your attitude. your physical appearance. etc. There were speciIic
reasons your ex boyIriend was once drawn to you and speciIic reasons

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he chose to leave you and end the relationship. In the vast maiority oI
cases. the above Iour reasons are the main variables that changed
within the relationship.

Most women will sit around thinking about what she might have said.
or what she might have done in order to push him away. They dwell
on all the little things that really don`t add up to much.

Perhaps your relationship ended during a heated argument (Ior exam-
ple). You said hurtIul things and so did he. You continuously think
back and say to yourselI 'maybe iI I had iust said this or done that and
never said .¨ It wasn`t the heated argument that actually
ended the relationship. It wasn`t the underlving reason leading up to
the breakup.

It was merely an excuse to end things Ior a set oI completely diIIerent
reasons. Focus on the actual underlying cause. The things that Iunda-
mentally changed the relationship.















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Page 22
oes that title scare you? II so. you above all others must pay
particularly close attention to the next Iew paragraphs.

There is no point in me sugar coating my words and tip toeing around
my point so I`m iust going to blurt it out: DO NOT INITIATE
CONTACT WITH YOUR EX BOYFRIEND FOR A MINIMUM
OF THREE WEEKS. There are no exceptions to this rule. You must
not be the one to initiate contact with him. but it is perIectly Iine iI he
contacts you Iirst. There is a scientiIic. physiological basis Ior this and
I will explain it shortly. It will all make sense and you`ll have one oI
those 'aha!¨ moments.

Why the need to not initiate contact with your ex boyfriend?

The 'no contact rule¨ is a mechanism we use to accomplish three
things:

1. It prevents you Irom acting needy and insecure around your ex
boyIriend. As you already discovered. neediness and insecurity
are attraction killers when it comes to any relationship.

2. It instills a fear of loss within him. Not contacting him pushes
him away and makes him wonder why. He will essentially be-
come intrigued and start wondering iI you have moved on with
another man. Humans only realize something`s value when
it is gone. in most all cases.

3. It gives you the opportunity to soak in as much inIormation
Irom my material as possible.

You see. no matter what you do or how hard you try. when you`re
around your ex boyIriend you will sub-communicate insecurity and
neediness. At least at Iirst you will. It doesn`t even matter how hard
you try not to; it will come through in some way or another.

Even iI you don`t verballv say you miss your boyIriend and want him
back or that you`re hurting inside. he will pick up on your Ieelings
D

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through your body language. That`s not a bunch oI BS either. Body
language is powerIul stuII.

Much oI this eBook will be about both actually ridding yourselI oI
insecurity and neediness as well as some tricks and gimmicks to make
yourselI appear a lot less insecure and needy than you really are.
Even iI you Ieel horrible inside. I will at least give you the appearance
that you are doing perIectly Iine without him.

Thus reversing the Ieeling oI reiection as much as humanly possible.

Don`t Be His Emotional Support

AIter a breakup. some men will use their ex girlIriend either as a
means to get over the breakup and healhimselI or merely a means to
have sex. This is obviously not what you want.

By not contacting him and making yourselI scarce. you are forcing-
him to heal on his own. You`re also depriving him oI any sex. which
you should never give unless he`s willing to commit to an actual rela-
tionship anyway.

The bottom line is that you won`t be around to support him and be all
sensitive. accommodating and giving. You are Iorcing him to be lone-
ly and face reality without you. There will be no easing out oI being
in a relationship with you. Period.

Your instincts may tell you that by being around him and supporting
him (emotionally) will only draw you back together. Nothing could be
any Iurther Irom the truth. This will only help his healing process
while hurting yours. Essentially he will unintentionally be leeching
oII you. I guess you could even consider him an emotional vampire:
sucking the happiness Irom you and substituting it with iealousy. hurt
and shame.

If He Contacts You


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It`s very likely that your ex boyIriend will actually initiate contact
with you over the course oI these 20 - 30 days. provided you Iollow
my plan exactly as outlined. This is especially true iI he starts really
Ieeling a fear of loss and begins to place value on you once again. It
will be his natural instinct to reach out and contact you.

This is a very good sign and while not at all necessary. deIinitely will
make things a lot easier Ior you at later stages oI this plan.

Rule number one here is not to be rude. angry or act depressed around
him. II he comes in to visit you at work or calls you on the phone. act
happy and cheerIul. Acting in this manner will demonstrate higher
value on your part. Basically. he will wonder whv you`re not acting
miserable and rotten. This will intrigue him and again make him Ieel
an even stronger Iear oI loss (as you appear to have moved on beIore
he has).

When your ex contacts you:

• Make small talk with him about whatever.

• Let him lead the conversation (Ior the most part).

• Act cheerIul and happy but don`t come across as desperate to
talk with him.

• End the conversation first (iI it`s a phone call)aIter about 10
minutes. Be polite and say 'I`m heading out with a Iriend but
I`ll give you a call later¨. Make sure you don`t come across as
bitter when you say this.

• Take your time to call him back. Don`t be too eager and make
sure you wait about a day or a day and a halI.

• II you run into him in person. make small talk Ior 10 minutes
and then say something along the lines oI. 'Well it was nice
talking with you. but I have to Iinish doing .¨
Again. be cheerIul about it. Being cheerIul demonstrates secu-

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rity and gives the impression that you`ve accepted the breakup.

The 'no contact rule¨ doesn`t mean your ex boyIriend can`t contact
you. It`s a very good thing when he is the one initiating contactfirst.
but only iI he is the one doing the initiating. The important thing to
remember is that under no circumstances will you be the one initiating
contact with him first.

What not to do in a nutshell:

• Act angry.

• Act depressed and sad.

• Act rude and treat him like crap.

• Brag about how many guysare hitting on you. This will ob-
viously come across as a lie and lower your value in his eyes.

• Bring up anything about the relationship at all.

• Ask iI he`s dating or sleeping with anyone.

• Ask/beg him to give the relationship 'another shot¨.

It`s very likely that over the next Iew weeks. your ex will contact you.
In Iact. many oI my students have only applied the No Contact prin-
cipal and have experienced dramatic success with it. This is largely
due to the Iact No Contact Iorces your ex boyIriend to realize your
value. You can`t value something that`s always been there to its Iul-
lest extent.

Again. I`d like to reiterate that it is important that you act rather
cheerIul. cool. calm and collected when he contacts you. No acting
depressed! Period.

Let the conversation unIold and basically talk about positive things
that have nothing to do with your relationship. Let him lead the con-

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versation and do most oI the talking. II he brings up anything about
the relationship then it`s saIe to enter into that line oI discussion. As
long as you`renot the one bringing it up. you`re A-OK.

I can`t even tell you how many times I`ve heard Irom women who Iol-
lowed the No Contact rule and had their ex boyIriends call them
weeks later. asking iI they would give the relationship another shot.
All they did was sit around on their butts and not initiate contact with
their ex`s.

Three Weeks ÷ Peak of Loneliness

The 'loneliness peak¨ occurs aIter about three to four weeks aIter a
breakup. He will Ieel his most vulnerable and lonely at this time. It
will take great eIIort on his part not to contact you. In most cases.
provided you stick to the rest oI this plan. he will be the one contact-
ing you. II he doesn`t then that is still Iine. but you will be in a much
better position iI he is the one initiating contact with you.

AIter three to Iour weeks have passed. it will be much more eIIective
Ior you to contact him at this point. He will be lonely and most likely
thinking good thoughts about you. He will be reminiscing about the
good times you had together while you`ll be concentrating on only the
bad. The balance oI power will have turned and he will be the inse-
cure one while you`re not.

If He Does Not Contact You.

Since the loneliness peak occurs at three to Iour weeks. it is saIe Ior
you to contact him at this point. In the maiority oI cases he will con-
tact you Iirst. II not. I recommend waiting a minimum oI three to
four weeks. This really depends on how low he perceived your value
to be beIore the breakup. In extreme cases you should wait even long-
er.

II you have to contact him. you will chat with him as though he is an
old friend. Again. I reiterate that there is to be no hint oI desperation.
depression or neediness on your part. You must come across as

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though you are perIectly Iine with the breakup. Act like you realized
the breakup was actually the best thing Ior the both oI you.

I recommend that you tell him. when you initiate contact. that you
believe the breakup was deIinitely for the best and that it would be a
shame to throw away such a great Iriendship.

'I iust wanted to tell vou that vou were right. The breakup was defi-
nitelv for the best. It would reallv be a shame to throw awav our
friendship though. How about we go out for a coffee bud? We can
work on being friends again. no hard feelings.`

It`s very important that you maintain a platonic vibe oI being Iriends.
Again. this is to instill a Iear oI loss within him. Remember that we
value most that which we do not have. I will talk more about the im-
portance oI the platonic Iriend vibe in Chapter 8.

Regardless oI whether he contacts you or not. you will use your
Iriendship as a means to sneak in under the radar and present to him
the new. conIident. less needy you. You will use your position as a
Iriend to re-build attraction and value.

Some Possible Objections

So what iI you`re in a situation where you cannot possibly 'not con-
tact¨ your ex boyIriend? Maybe you work with him. you have a kid
with him. you live together. etc. What the heck do you do then?

Basically it`s all in how you behave in these circumstances. You don`t
want to come across as insecure or childish by acting angry. iealous or
all out ignoring him. However. you do want to keep contact with your
ex to a minimum.

II you live together. make sure you go out with Iriends a lot. Don`t
bring other men back to the house iust to make him iealous since this
will probably hurt your chances oI getting him back. He`ll end up
bringing a girl back and it`ll end up turning into a vicious cycle oI
games. Stay away Irom that.

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Basically. you want your ex to initiate the conversation most oI the
time. You don`t want to look like you`re ignoringhim because that`s
also insecure. You want to act happy and cheerIul. like you`re com-
pletely fine with the breakup and you have moved on. Let him lead
the conversation and put in most oI the work when conversing with
you. Again. don`t ignore him; iust let him do most oI the work.

Think oI it as living with a Iemale roommate. In Iact. use this Iorced
contact to your advantage by dressing the best you can without look-
ing like you`re actually trving.




























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ush/Pull theory revolves around the notion that we want what
we cannot have. We pursue that which retreats from us. It`s
true Ior both men and women alike. In Iact. the main reason
you want your ex back so badly is probably due to the Iact he reiected
you. You currently cannot have him and that drives you insane. It
would drive me insane too. That`s iust human nature.

People interact in two basic ways (when you really break it down).
We are either pushing somebody away Irom us. or we are pulling
them toward us. To 'pull¨ is to show interest and to 'push¨ is to show
disinterest.

When somebody (like a man) pushes us away. we naturally respond
by pulling that person back in. It creates a Iear oI loss and we natural-
ly want to vanquish that Iear and Iill the gap. This is especially true
with male/Iemale romantic relationships.

A push can be anything Irom your boyIriend saying 'I need more
space¨ or 'you`re being annoying¨ or outright breaking up with you.
It is anything he does to display disinterest or indiIIerence.

~He who cares least controls the relationship¨

Right now. you instinctively want to pull your ex boyIriend toward
you when in Iact you should be pushing him away from you. Pulling
him toward you puts pressure on him and Iorces him to push you Iur-
ther away. II he knows he can have you whenever he wants. he won`t
want you at all. It will kill all the sexual tension between the two oI
you.

I`ve already presented you with one very powerIul technique that har-
nesses Push/Pull Theory. By not initiating contact with your ex. he
will begin to wonder iI you have moved on. He will probably start to
think about all the good times you had together and crave to have
those times back. Remember that aIter 3 4 weeks. his loneliness will
peak.

P

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It`s also important to realize that iust as you can 'pull¨ too much. you
can also push too much as well. Sexual tension is created when there
is a mix of the two. You will oIten hear men reIer to this as 'mixed
signals¨. They`ll say things like 'she was sending mixed signals and it
iust made me want her more¨.

The key to push/pull is to Iind the right balance. Push him away Irom
you a little and then pull him back in. push him away a little once
again. then pull him back in.

You`re iust trying to get your ex boyIriend back and so you really
don`t have to put too much thought into it. Just make sure you under-
stand that too much oI either pushing or pulling is bad. You want to
show some interest. and then show a little disinterest. Rinse and re-
peat.
























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ur internalmindset is oI paramount importance when apply-
ing this system. You need to rid yourselI oI any and all inse-
curity Ior this to work. II you`re serious about getting your
ex boyIriend back. Iollowing my plan will be easy. This next part will
be very counter intuitive but I can assure you that it is based on deep
rooted psychology.

Accept that things are over and begin the process of moving on.

Yup. That`s right. You need to let go oI your ex boyIriend beIore you
can get him back. Very counter intuitive indeed. You need to remem-
ber that a clingy. insecure woman repels men. Letting go (and I do ac-
tually mean really letting go) will dramatically increase the odds oI
getting him back merely because it rids you oI any and all approval
seeking behavior. The Iollowing are not useless steps to be ignored. It
is in your best interest to Iollow them.

Step One: Go grab a piece oI paper right now (its best you do it while
you`re reading this). Write out your ex boyIriends contact inIormation
on it and set it aside. Place it in a spot where you will not easily see it.

Step Two: Delete every memory and mode oI contact you have with
him. Delete his number Irom your cell phone. Skype. etc. Delete all oI
his e-mails (that means to stop reading them too).

The only exception to this rule is Ior Facebook or Myspace. II you
don`t have an account (or he doesn`t) then don`t worry. II you do.
leave him on your list but do not. under any circumstances. view his
proIile. I cannot stress this enough. There is to be absolutely no
viewing oI his proIile!

The other exception would be your Instant Messenger. You can use
that as a means to create more fear of loss (but we`ll delve into that
later).

To recap:

• Delete all modes oI contact: phone number. email. etc.
O

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• Delete digital photos.
• Delete anything else that reminds you oI him.
• Do not ever view his online proIile.

Step Three: Gather up all physical reminders oI your ex boyIriend.
This means any teddy bears. cards. posters. cloths. watches. pictures.
etc. Anything physical at all! Gather it all up and toss it in a box.
Make sure you put the box in a place you cannot Iind. Put it in your
basement or leave it with a Iriend or something. Under your bed will
not suIIice.

Step Four: Visualize yourselI with other men. Fantasize about other
men. Under no circumstances should you let your mind driIt and be-
gin to think about your ex in a sexual way. When you Iind yourselI
thinking about your ex. Iorce yourselI to Iantasize about your ideal
man. It`s also helpIul to Iantasize about what you would do with a
million dollars or something equally pleasurable.

Realize that you`re Iantasizing about your ex to help comIort and ease
the pain Ior yourselI. It will only have the opposite eIIect which is
why you must Iorce yourselI to let go. In a week or two. the pain will
have dramatically decreased.

Step Five: Concentrate only on the negative aspects oI your ex boy-
Iriend. When going through a breakup. we have what`s called selec-
tive memory. We only seem to remember the good times we had with
them and how happy they made us. Your ex boyIriend becomes a sort
oI drug that we withdraw Irom. It`s hard. but you must only Iocus on
the negative.

All oI this is leading up to a complete reversal oI reiection.








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ere is where it gets interesting. By getting your liIe back.
you are showing your ex boyIriend you do not needhim.
Remember: high value men do not want a woman who
needs him more than he needs her.

Men value that which thev work for.

By actively demonstrating that you are healing and moving on. you
will begin to switch on many 'attraction switches¨ in his brain. These
are the same switches that attracted him in the Iirst place. It`s your iob
to demonstrate you still have those characteristics.

Start Dating Other Men (And Make Sure He Finds Out)

This is my Iavorite technique Ior reversing reiection. Actually moving
on! You don`t need to actually be serious about these dates. but they
will be a huge conIidence boost Ior your ego and will really help shed
any underlying insecurity and/or neediness you may still have leIt.

I realize you may not be in the dating Irame oI mind but you must
Iorce yourselI to do it. You must Iorce yourselI to Iind other men to
date. Like much oI what we have discussed thus Iar. this is also very
counter intuitive. so allow me to explain:

• Dating other men builds your conIidence while simultaneously
shedding any underlying insecurity you may still have.

• When your ex boyIriend Iinds out. he will Ieel afear of loss.
His sub-conscious will be thinking. 'wow. she must be more
high value than I thought iI she can replace me that easily¨.

So with that said. start taking up those oIIers other men are giving
you. You`ll seriously love yourselI Ior it later. This sounds like 'Ieel
good¨ advice but there are seriously millions oI quality. datable men
out there. At the moment. you`re very emotional and you`re not think-
ing logically. You`re an attractive woman and it won`t be overly diIIi-
cult Ior you to move on iI you so desire.
H

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Now. iI all else Iails and you cannot actually get on some dates within
the next week or two. then it`s appropriate to fake it. You can even
start oII by Iaking it until you actually get on a Iew real dates too. The
important thing is that you try to go on some real. actual dates and
make sure your ex boyIriend Iinds out about it. It`ll do wonders Ior
your hurt selI-esteem.

Techniques to make sure he Iinds out:

Instant Messaging Hang Out

Chances are you use an online instant messaging system like
Windows Live Messenger or AIM. Usually people mention
what they are doing in their display name. For example: 'Me-
lissaOut with the girls tonight. Call mv cell.¨ Where I live.
this is very common.

II you land a date (don`t be picky either) make sure your dis-
play name mentions the Iact you are out with another man. For
example: 'Mel Out with Jeff. Back tonight.¨ You see what
we`re doing? We`re creating what`s called a jealousy plotline
to increase your perceived value while making your ex Ieel a
Iear oI loss. Essentially reversing the reiection.

II you can`t actually get on a date. Iake it iI you must. Make up
a random guys name and say you`re 'Out with JeII¨ or Matt or
whoever. Whatever you do. do not make it look like you`re in-
tentionally trying to make your ex boyIriend iealous. This
would be a mistake oI paramount disaster. You need to allude
to the Iact you are moving on with your liIe and seeing other
men. He can`t think it`s all a game you`re playing to make him
want you back.

Allude To His Friend(s)

Chances are you talk to somebody your ex boyIriend hangs out
with on a regular basis. Get yourselI in a casual conversation

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with them and ask what they`re up to this weekend. When they
Iinish telling you. you know they will reciprocate and ask you
the exact same question.

When they ask what you`re doing. say:

'Im iust hanging out with some Jeff guv I met the other
night.`

Then quickly change the topic! Do not directly say 'yeah so
I`m going on a date tonight¨ as that would iust make you look
like a loser who wants her ex to become iealous. Make it look
like you almost don`t want their Iriend knowing you`re going
on a date but it iust slipped out.

Social Site Flirting

These days. everyone has a MySpace or Facebook account (or
some other variation thereoI). Maybe you don`t and iI so ig-
nore this inIo. II you do. read on.

Take this opportunity to Ilirt with other men in your network.
Just message them. talk with them. etc. The great thing about
MySpace and Facebook is that they have public sections where
people can post messages back and Iorth to each other. Every-
one in your Iriends list can read these messages and you can
bet your ex boyIriend will be viewing your proIile to keep tabs
on what you have been up to. Especially since you`re not in-
itiating contact with him.

Again. this will create a iealousy plotline. He`ll see that you are
attractive to other men and Ieel a Iear oI loss. His manly in-
stinct will kick in and he`ll want to possess you again. Even
though he broke up with you. he`s used to Ieeling as though
he'owns¨ you. He`s used to having you all to himselI. When
he sees other men Ilirting with you on your proIile. he`ll get
iealous and realize what a horrible mistake he`s made. Again.
this is reversing the Ieeling oI reiection.

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Social Site Fake Out

You can take things a step Iurther and register another account.
under a Iake male name. Put up a Iake picture oI a very hand-
someman. Make sure the picture doesn`t look blatantly Iake ei-
ther. II it`s a celebrity or a man way out oI your league. Iorget
about it appearing genuine. For best eIIect. make it a man iust
slightly better looking than your ex boyIriend.

Anyway. set the Iake proIile to private. I`ll say that again be-
cause it`s so damn important. Set the fake profile to private so
nobodv can actuallv view it. You will look like a huge loser
when your ex views the Iake proIile only to Iind out its com-
pletely empty and clearly a phony proIile designed to make
him iealous.

Next. make a Iew posts Irom the Iake account to your own ac-
count saying things like 'great movie we`ll have to do it
again¨ or 'you`re too Iunny sweetie! We`ll have to chill again
on Sunday.¨

Basically you want it to look like you may possibly be dating
another guy. DeIinitely do not post anything blatantly sexual
like 'I can`t wait to touch and Ieel you again¨ or something
equally lame.

Keep it very subtle and make sure you disguise the way you
type. You probably abbreviate certain words. use speciIic
slang. spell certain words wrong and other identiIiable patterns
that may give away the Iact the phony mystery man is actually
you. Pay attention to the way you type and make sure it`s diI-
Ierent when using this technique.

Remember that none oI those techniques are actually necessary. I rec-
ommend them because:


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• Your ex will Iear he is losing you Ior good. It knocks him back
into reality. You`re a girl in demand! Other men want you.

• He will be overwhelmed with iealousy iI you played your cards
correctly.

• It demonstrates higher value on your part.

• It builds your own selI conIidence back up and increases your
selI-esteem and Ieeling oI selI-worth.

The maior beneIit will come Irom actually going on real dates be-
cause it will rocket your selI-conIidence. You will believe in your
own attractiveness again. That`s not something you can achieve
through Iaking it. Although iI you absolutely have to. the option is
there. Just make sure you do it in a subtle way that doesn`t come
across as bragging. Only losers brag.

Secondly. I want you to use your imagination and come up with other
creative ways in which you can subtly allude to being on dates with
other men. I gave you a lot oI great examples to get you started. Just
make sure you do not go over the top and make yourselI look like a
loser by bragging and generally making it obvious you are trying to
make him iealous.

Start Having Massive Fun

Next on our list oI getting back your ex boyIriend is to demonstrate
that you are now having massive Iun. You want to make him regret he
ever leIt you. He`ll even start to think he was the one holding you
back Irom experiencing your liIe. And who knows. maybe he actually
was.

Go out and start having some Iun with your Iriends. Have some drinks
with the girls next weekend. hit up a bar or club. get that adrenaline
pumping. Hell. you should even go on that trip you always wanted to
take. Just go and have as much Iun as you possibly can.

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For a woman. bars and clubs are particularly a great place to boost
your conIidence. You`ll get approached by multiple men within the
hour. But you know that already. Wink. Wink.

This will:

• Rid you oI your needy. insecure mindset.

• Demonstrate to your ex boyIriend that you will not sit around
wallowing in your own sorrow.

• Keep your mind oII your ex (which ties in with ridding your-
selI oI insecurity)

The number one thing I recommend you do is to start working out.
Sign up at the gym and work your ass oII Ior the next month. Not be-
cause you think you have to. but because you will enioy it.

• Exercise releases endorphins which basically make you Ieel
damn good. This is a scientiIically proven Iact. Working out
will release a lot oI endorphins. It`s natures natural anti-
depressant.

• Working out boosts your testosterone level. Testosterone ac-
tually increases your conIidence level by quite a bit.

• It will keep your mind occupied and oII your ex boyIriend.

• You`ll be way more physically attractive and Iit (obviously).

There are many other things you can do besides working out. You can
always submerse yourselI into a hobby or something you`ve always
wanted to take up. Personally. I love to learn about something new
when I`m Ieeling troubled.

I strongly recommend you take this as an opportunity to kick back and
learn all you can about male/female psychology and basically what

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men are attracted to in a woman. II you`re anything like me. you`ll
Iind it extremely Iascinating (not to mention useIul).

Just remember that iI you sit around Ieeling sorry Ior yourselI all day.
that will iust be prooI in your ex boyIriends eyes that you actually
were a loser and that he was completely iustiIied in dumping you.
Heexpects you to sit around and wallow in your own miserable
pity.That is how we are all expected to act aIter a breakup. You will
be different. You will be cheerful and happy.

You must take on the mindset that: although you cared about your
ex boyfriend. this breakup is not the end of the world and possibly
even a good thing.

Men don`t get back together with womenwho sit around Ieeling sorry
Ior themselves.They want to get back together with the women who
move on faster than they do. They start to doubt themselves and
wonder why you`re getting over them so Iast. And then. as you`re
seemingly pushing them away. enioying your liIe. they instinctively
react by pulling you back in.

You push. they pull.

BeIore you know it. you will have turned the tables and your ex boy-
Iriend will be your ex no longer. He will have come crawling back to
you. begging Ior a second chance.

Take Lots of Pictures

While you`re having massive amounts oI Iun and adventure. make
sure to take lots oI pictures. Digital pictures iI you can.

When you have these pictures oI yourselI and Iriends. make sure to
post them as display pictures on your instant messenger (Windows
Live Messenger. AIM. YIM. etc). You can also post them on Face-
book or MySpace; basically any social networking site you and your
ex both Irequent.


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Seeing pictures oI you and your Iriend having a great time will dis-
play higher value on your part while making him remember all the
good times you both had together. Trust me when I say this tactic
works very well.Especially if you have other handsomemen hang-
ing off you in these photos.


Male ~Orbiters¨

Every reasonably attractive woman has what I call 'orbiters¨. Guys
who you know would iump at the opportunity to go out with you. You
know it and they know it. They probably think you`re out oI their
'league¨. Flirt a little bit with these guys and boost your selI-
conIidence a bit.

Secondly. you may have had a male Iriend (who iust thinks oI you as
a plutonic Iriend and vice versa). Most all the women I know have a
Iew male Iriends they knew their boyIriend was iealous oI. Use him
(ethically don`t lead him on!) to provoke iealously within your ex
boyIriend. Your ex probably perceives him as being higher value than
himselI. Use this to your advantage. He will Ieel threatened and his
male instincts will kick in. He`ll naturally want to compete Ior your
attention.

Hang out with him take some pictures and post them on Facebook
or MySpace.

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o what iI your ex boyIriend is already going on dates with other
women or even seeing one girl in particular? Well Iirst oI all I
wouldn`t worry too much. These rebounds almost never work
out. He`s using this other girl (or girls) as a means to comIort himselI
and ease the pain oI the breakup he iust had with you.

With that in mind. you need to be completely cool about it. Speaking
Irom personal experience here. when one oI my ex`s called me up (aI-
ter not contacting her Ior a week) she immediately tried to make me
iealous by alluding to a guy she was going on a date with. She knew
what she was doing and so did I. But the Iunny thing is. even despite
the Iact I knew it was iust a ploy to make me iealous. it still made me
desire her more.

Anyway. when she started going on about how she was going on a
date. I was completely cool about it. I didn`t even have to act because
deep down I knew the only reason she was telling me was to make me
iealous. I told her I thought it was awesome and changed the subiect. I
didn`t act bitter. angry or hurt. I iust played it oII like it was nothing.

If You Run Into Them Together

So what iI you iust happen to actually meet the new woman he is dat-
ing? II you`ve read every word up until this point. I`m sure you al-
ready have a good idea what to do already. Act cool about it.

• Don`t show iealousy.

• Don`t show anger.

• Don`t ignore him.

• Don`t put him down or act rude.

You need to pretty much do the opposite oI the above. You need to
act cheerIul and happy to see them both. Shake her hand. tell her it
was nice to meet her and they look great together.Do all this with a
big smile on your Iace. Continue to make cheerIul small talk and then
S

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excuse yourselI. You need to act totally secure. calm and cool about
the Iact he`s with another woman.

Sure you`ll be dying on the inside but you have to do everything you
can to repress those insecure Ieelings. You can`t let them maniIest
themselves on the outside. The cooler you act. the more Irustrated
your ex will become.

The woman he`s with will end up Ieeling threatened by your calm
conIidence.





























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he vast maiority oI those oI you currently reading this will
have already gone through a breakup. However. a Iew oI you
will have purchased this program in anticipation oI your
looming breakup. Either way. everyone reading this will beneIit in
some way or another.

The power oI this technique can and will come in handy some day in
the Iuture. Having the peace oI mind in knowing exactly how to han-
dle a looming breakup is (without question) a huge weight oII your
shoulders.

Now. Iirst let me start by saying that this technique is not 100° eIIec-
tive. Nothing is - and iI anyone claims to have all the answers they are
either lying or trying to sell you something. Period.

Let`s begin.

The Technique.

Preventing a breakup as it happens is actually pretty easy. You can
'sense¨ when a man is losing interest in you. They stop looking at you
with the same loving eyes. They pick Iights with you Ior seemingly no
reason at all. They stop giving you much neededaffection. You know
the way it goes. We`ve all been there.

It all culminates until he gives you 'the talk¨. He`ll usually start it oII
by saying 'we need to talk¨ or something along those lines. Or per-
haps he`ll spontaneously break up with you aIter picking a staged
Iight; using the Iight as iustiIication Ior the breakup itselI.

The trick is very counter intuitive.

The big secret is that you need to agree with his decision. Or. iI you
know he`s iust about to give you the axe. you can tell him to break up
with you. I know. I know. its scary stuII. Even Ior me it would be
scary. We Iear the unknown.

T

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II he believes you`re Iine with the breakup. you`ve managed to main-
tain a position oI integrity. Or at least you will not have compromised
it anywhere near that oI any other woman. Most women react with
tears. pleading and even begging in some cases. That type oI behavior
certainly doesn`t aid in Ilicking any attraction switches that`s Ior
sure.

I`ll give you some examples as to what to say (iust as he`s about to
break up with you):

'Jason. voure a great guv. You make me smile. You reallv do. But
mavbe Im not the right girl for vou? Mavbe we need to break up if
thats what vour heart is telling vou.`

Or. iI he`s clearly telling you he wants to break up with you:

'You know. voure probablv right. You have to do what vour heart
tells vou. If Im not the girl for vou then Im not the girl for vou. I ob-
viouslv like vou and all. but thats life. Even if it sucks. thats iust the
wav it is. Im sure well both move on and be happv with other people
eventuallv.`

Don`t come across as bitter or hateIul when you say the above. Don`t
act alooI and like you don`t care either! Simply say it in a light
hearted manner. Assume the mentality that he`s a great guy. but you
can live your liIe without him. Either way liIe will go on.

It`s important that you do not break up with him Iirst. Even though it
might seem like the right thing to do based on what you`ve learned in
the previous chapters. II you break up with him Iirst. the burden will
be on you to pursuehim and initiate contact. No Contact is an impor-
tant rule within this system and it won`t be nearly as eIIective iI you
are the one doing the dumping. The dynamic totally changes.

That is why telling him (nicely) to break up with you is very eIIective.
Stick closely to the script above and you`ll be Iine. However. try to
understand the underlying meaning and reason behind the words.

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You`re basically telling him that he`s a great guy (you like him) and
that iI his heart isn`t in it then it`s Iine to end things. No hard Ieelings.

This dynamic totally throws him oII. It`s nowhere near how he ex-
pects you to react/behave.

If He Agrees And Goes Forward With The Breakup Anyway.

I also must warn you that he may agree with you at Iirst and actually
go Iorward with the breakup. He will probably be hesitant about it but
perhaps he may still go Iorward and agree the breakup is Ior the best.
Don`t panic. this is Iine.

You`ve managed to at least save your dignity and selI-respect in his
eyes. Even iI he goes Iorward with the breakup (still) you can be cer-
tain he will be shaken and conIused by your reaction. Combine this
technique with No Contact and you`re almost certain to get him back.
Throw in a little iealously plotline and I honestly can`t not see this
working Ior iust about anyone.

Other Preventative Measures.

II you know that a breakup is only a Iew days away. you want to get
both oI your adrenaline pumping. That means you need to plan an
adventure and both have massive Iun together. Adrenaline with help
the both oI you to rapidly re-bond.

This is not a permanent solution. II the root oI the problem is not
solved. this will only delay things.

Some 'adventure¨ ideas are as Iollows:

• Go on a vacation to an exotic resort. The new surrounding will
be exciting and Iresh. It`ll give you ample opportunity to re-
ignite lost attraction by getting both oI your adrenaline pump-
ing.


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• Amusement park. II this doesn`t get your adrenaline pumping
then nothing will.

• Rock climbing.

• Laser tag / arcade
Break The Routine.

Break out oI the boring routine you and your boyIriend have built up
over the months/years. Couples get comIortable and this comIort kills
attraction. It`s boring and stale. UnIortunately. we don`t really realize
this until it`s too late. I`m giving you a head start here.


























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Introduction to Reward/Punishment System

hat do you think most women do when their boyIriend
starts neglecting them and spending more time 'with the
guys¨ or watching sports than with them?

They respond with giving their man more attention and aIIection.
Women do this in the hope that it will elicit some sort oI response out
oI their boyIriend and sort oI snap him out oI his 'trance¨.

How long do you think it will take your boyIriend to realize that giv-
ing his Iriends more attention than you will result in getting whatever
it is he wants?

Bad behavior ÷ girlIriend giving me attention and aIIection and possi-
ble more sex.

Most women are doing the complete opposite oI what they should in
Iact be doing. When he ignores you and puts more oI his attention to-
ward something else. or when he gets angry or iealous Ior no reason.
women will try to pull him in with affection because theythemselves
want aIIection.

At our core. we are being approval seeking. We want his love and aI-
Iection.

Reward Good Behavior

Let`s Iirst Iocus on rewards. because I believe them to be the more
important oI the two. II you reward your boyIriendat the right time.
he will become addicted to your rewards and thus you`ll have very
little need to 'punish¨him in the Iirst place.

Rewards are Ior the most part you giving him your validation and ap-
proval. You`re not generically giving him giIts and complimenting
W

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him on this and that Ior no reason. Rather. you want to reward hisef-
forts. This is the absolute best way to get your boyIriend contributing
loads to the relationship. You need to reward the effort he puts in.
Think about it; iI you didn`t reward his good behavior. how would he
know to continue doing all those good things that please you? Exact-
ly. he simply wouldn`t.

So how do you properly reward good behavior? You simply tell him
what you like. Plain and simple.

Let`s say you love it when your boyIriend cooks Ior you. and you
want him doing it more oIten because he makes the best lasagna ever.
Simply tell him as you`re eating: 'Babe. you seriously have some
killer lasagna making skills. Explain to me why you`re not a cheI
again?¨

Or you can take a diIIerent approach and tell him that it turns you on.
Men are indeed more Iixated on sex than women. so iI he subcons-
ciously believes that doing XYZ thing Ior you will lead to sex. he`s
going to do loads more oI it. I can promise you that. You iust need to
let him know what it is you like!

People love genuine praise and appreciation because they get so very
little oI it. The world is Iull oI insecure. selIish individuals who only
take their approval away.

You`re boyIriend is no exception and you can bet he will eventually
become addicted to your validation. He wants it and you will Ireely
give it to him. provided he`s doing good things Ior you. oI course.
Example Good Behaviour:
• Buying you something.

• Giving you really good. long lasting sex.


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• Cheering you up when you`re Ieeling down (emotional sup-
port).

• Driving you somewhere.

• Generally being an awesome boyIriend.
You get the idea.
Giving Gifts as Rewards: When & How
When you give a physical giIt to a man. you generally want them to
be rewards Ior good behaviour on your boyIriend`s part. This way.
your intentions can never be interpreted as approval seeking.
II your boyIriend puts in eIIort and takes you out on the town and
generally gives you a Iun. adventure Iilled night. reward that extra eI-
Iort with a giIt (make sure you keep the giIts scarce and rare though)
The day aIter the amazing adventure Iilled night. you can bring over a
card that demonstrates you care and speciIically mentions the card is a
direct result oI the great time he gave you.
That may sound a bit strange. but I can assure you that Ior the next
Iew weeks. your boyIriend will try extra hard to please you. Point be-
ing: Let him know what you are rewarding. so he can do it over
and over again.
A Iar better approach to giIt giving is to invest your time and creativ-
ity into your giIts. It has the exact same eIIect as buying expensive
material possessions. without looking like you`re trying to buy his
love or impress him.
Now. this isn`t to say that all giIts have to be creative. In the example
above. you simply bought a cheap card and it worked wonders. Mix it
up a little and use your own iudgment. Just remember to always give
your giIt (creative or otherwise) as a reward Ior positive behaviour.


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Introduction
unish is a rather harsh word. There really is nothing harsh
about what we are doing when you'punish¨yourboyIriend`s
bad behaviour. It needs to be done. not only out oI love Ior
yourselI but also out oI love Ior him.
There are a number oI ways to go about punishing your boyIriend.
none oI which involve getting angry. verbally abusive. manipulative
or the like. In Iact. those things come Irom a place oI insecurity.
which is not where we want to be coming Irom anyway. Even though
anger as a Iorm oI punishment is far more eIIective than simply suck-
ing up and doing nothing. there are even more eIIective ways to ap-
proach the matter.
The degree oI punishment will largely depend on hisbehaviour and
the boundaries you set at the beginning oI your relationship. You`ll be
punishing your boyIriend Ior two main reasons: Hismood and nega-
tive actions.
Removing Your Attention

When it comes to small things like bad moods. simply removing your
attention and not actively feedinghis bad mood is oIten enough. I
know some women who actually try to piss oII their boyIriends when
they are upset. I`ve had girlIriends do this tomein the past.

When your man is in a bad mood. it is generally a good idea to simply
not be around him. Remove your attention Irom him as to not Iall into
his negative reality. Since your attention is a reward. removing it is
a Iorm oI punishment.

Most oI the time. his bad mood will have nothing to do with you. It`s
human nature to take out our bad moods on the people around us.
Since your boyIriend is human (right?). he is no exception.

P

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Removing your attention isn`t iust eIIective Ior mood swings either.
It`s eIIective Ior anything you don`t like about his behavior. Any-
thing at all that you shouldn`t be rewarding.

WARNING: Do not make it look as though you are removing your
attention speciIically to get what you really want. You should not
pout or act oIIended in any way shape or Iorm. You simply need to
carry on your day in a regular. happy manner.

Removing your attention is not about ignoring your boyIriend. You
should not ignore him. It is more about you simply not rewarding
negative behavior with mountains oI attention.

Disappointment is Powerful

So. what iI your boyIrienddoes something? Let`s say he starts playing
iealously games and Ilirting with other women while you`re around.
Simply removing your attention Irom him will not make the problem
go away in this case.

In this scenario. your best punishment would be to conIront him with
your disappointment. ConIront him in a cool. calm and collected
manner. No anger or negative emotion.

I would say something along the Iollowing lines:

'You know. one of the reasons I like vou so much is that vou dont
plav sillv iealousv games like all the other guvs. But latelv. it seems as
though vou have been and I have to admit that I expected more from
vou.`

That`s sure to put a stop to his games. He`ll probably deny that it was
his intention to play games and apologize. but it doesn`t matter. Just
give him a kiss on the cheek and say 'alright then.¨





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The Big Stick

Sometimes it will be necessary Ior you to take out the 'big stick¨. At
some point it will be required oI you to put your Ioot down and make
a tough decision. I`ve come to realize that in many cases you can ei-
ther choose to lose your selI respect. or lose your boyIriend. I don`t
think at this point I need to tell you that choosing to honor your selI
respect over your boyIriend is the way to go.

You need to be mentally prepared to tell your boyIriend to 'get the
hell out oI my liIe¨ and be prepared Ior him to actually leave Iorever.
Don`t even think about Iaking it either. because men can smell it
when you`re not sincere. You see. the Iunny thing is that iI you`re ac-
tually mentally prepared to let go oI him. he is less likely to leave.

So. what type oI behavior warrants the 'big stick¨? Well. that really
depends on your own personal values. It all depends on what you are
not willing to tolerate; what your totally 100° oII limit boundaries
are.

For me. this would be the realm oI cheating. lying about serious
things. blatantly disrespectIul behavior. etc. etc. Serious things that go
beyond him simply disappointing you.

(And iust for the record. I refer to the 'big stick` metaphoricallv and
not literallv. I dont literallv mean take out a stick and hit anvone.
That would be a cowards approach.)

Some Examples

Scenario: Your boyIriend starts Ilirting with one oI your Iriends.

The Wrong Way

You proceed to Ilirt with one oI his Iriends and a vicious cycle oI Ilirt-
ing with other people to make each other iealous begins.



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The Right Way

You simply remove your attention and aIIection Irom him and pro-
ceed to carry on with other activities. You are calm about the situation
and you later conIront him and tell him you`re disappointed in his ac-
tions.

Think about it this way: when you were a teenager and you did some-
thing 'wrong¨ like staying out way past your curIew and getting
drunk. what would upset you more:

a) Your parents getting mad at you. yelling and grounding you Ior
weeks.

b) Them conIronting you with how disappointed they are in you
and how they expected more Irom you.
I think you know the answer.





















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Work is Good
ell me. why do you keep your sporting trophies on the man-
tel? Why didn`t you throw away that stupid stuIIed animal
you won at the circus as a child?
Something can be utter and complete crap. but as long as you worked
hard enough Ior it. you will place signiIicant value on it. Its basic psy-
chology: we value that which we have worked Ior. Although you`re
certainly not worthless (like some stupid stuIIed animal) you can in-
crease your perceived value tenIold by letting your boyIriendinvest in
you.
Simply put. the more time. energy and eIIort he puts into pleasing
you. the more he will value you as a human being. You have truly be-
come a prize. to which he has worked to obtain. For the same reason
you can`t seem to let go oI your . she won`t be able to let go
oI you.
Small Favours
From a practical point oI view. you can start by getting him to do
small Iavours Ior you. Now. there is no reason to be a bitch when
getting him to do these things. For God`s sake please don`t start pout-
ing Ior a glass oI water every two seconds and make yourselI look like
some sort oI I-can`t-do-anything-myselI typebitch. You simply can`t
be aIraid to expect him to invest in you.
I know some girls who. when their boyIriends actually offer to do
things Ior them. they quickly perk up and say 'no no baby! Its Iine.
I`ll do it!¨ As iI letting their boyIriend do something Ior them would
be letting him down in some obscure way.
Give me a break. He wants to invest in you. so let him! II your boy-
Iriend ever oIIers to buy. pay or do something (within reason) Ior you.
accept! Don`t Iorget to say 'thank you¨ and reward him with your
approval.
T

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The reward part is very important. Remember that he will eventually
become addicted to these rewards. thus making him crave more.
Some things you can get him to do Ior you:
• Write you a poem.
• Back massage.
• Hand massage.
• Any kind oI massage.
• Surprise you with a giIt.
• Wash your dishes.
• Wash your car.
Those are iust some examples. Use your imagination and get him in-
vesting in you. He`ll love you all the more Ior it. literally. My only
word oI caution is that you not go overboard. Like I said beIore. I
don`t want him waiting on you hand and Ioot. Occasionally get him to
invest in you. Start small and work your way up. until he`s willingly
cleaning your place all to better please you.
I highly recommend you start doing this Irom the very beginning oI
your relationship (or your new relationship). Start small. and work
your way up. II you`ve already established a pattern oI negative com-
pliance with your boyIriend. it can be diIIicult to put things back on
the right track. which is why you will be doing yourselI a huge Iavour
to set up this behaviour at the very beginning.













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eIore you embarked on your quest to get your ex boyIriend
back. I want you to Iirst take a step back. remove yourselI
emotionally and ask yourselI some hard questions.

I want you to get out a piece oI paper. a pen and answer the Iollowing
questions:

• What are the important qualities you desire in a boyIriend?

• Why are those things important to you?

• List a number oI reservations you have when it comes to enter-
ing into a long term relationship. In other words. what are your
fears?

• II somebody wrote a list oI things about you that Iit their needs
in a partner. what would they be?

• What do you most enioy in liIe?

• What do you most appreciate about yourselI?

I know those questions are 'deep¨. but they are absolutely necessary
iI you are to select a quality long term girlIriend. Realize that the
above questions are not so much about your boyIriend. as they are
about YOU. You must know yourselI beIore you can ever hope to
trust your own iudgment enough to select a long term mate (or even to
get back with your ex boyIriend).

The Answers

You need to know what you want in a guy beIore you even consider
getting yourselI into a long term relationship. Answer the questions
beIore you continue reading on. else you will only be doing yourselI a
disservice.

B

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Knowing exactly what you want in a man will only serve to make you
more attractive. Men want a woman who knows what she wants in
life. which includes knowing what qualities she looks Ior in man.

Compatibility

I`m generally not a huge Ian oI 'traditional¨ relationship advice.
However. when it comes to the age old advice on being compatible. I
would deIinitely have to agree.

Opposites do not attract. I believe that advice originally stems Irom
the observation oI sweet and innocent women Iawning over bad boys
like James Dean. Women will always be attracted to masculine men.
regardless oI their common interests. There is no denying this.

However. iI you are to have any long term success (in terms oI happi-
ness at least). you need to be with a man you enioy Ior reasons other
than physical attraction. Like everything in liIe. that shiny. pretty Iace
will eventually Iade away. leaving what behind? And even iI you
don`t end up growing old together. you will eventually become desen-
sitized by each other. You`ll grow tired. and desire a Iresh Iace.

Your relationship needs to be based on more than iust physical lust.
There truly has to be a strong friendship behind the scenes; and as
much as I distrust traditional relationship advice. I wholeheartedly
stand by this old piece oI wisdom.

Common Passion

Wondering why I made you list what you are passionate about in liIe?
It`s simple really. You and your boyIriend should share a common
passion. This truly is one oI those oh-so-obvious yet oh-so-
overlooked things. So many girls iust iump into a relationship with
either the Iirst hot guy that shows a bit oI interest inher or the Iirst
man who presents himselI as a challenge.

Don`t Iall into that trap. Figure out what you have Iun doing in liIe
and Iind a man who shares as many oI those same passions as possi-

M a t t H u s t o n ` s ' G e t H i m B a c k F o r e v e r ¨ © 2 0 0 8

Page 67
ble. Even iI it`s iust one. it will be more than enough. considering
most couples share a total oI zero actualpassions. This really is impor-
tant because you don`t ever want to change who you are as a person
iust to Iit into your boyIriend`s reality.



































M a t t H u s t o n ` s ' G e t H i m B a c k F o r e v e r ¨ © 2 0 0 8

Page 68
CONGRATULATIONS!

Well. you`re Iinally done. You should pat yourselI on the back. Not
many people decide to take control oI their love lives. You did.

I recommend that you actually read this eBook over many more times.
Personally. I Iind that the second time I read a book. the more inIor-
mation seems to magically pop out at me. Even when I`m reading a
book Ior the IiIth time. new inIormation will seemingly come out oI
nowhere.

Congratulations on your read. I hope you enioyed every page and had
many 'ah-ha¨ moments.

Kudos.
Matt


Exclusive 1-ON-1 Personal Consultation


II you believe you need extra help getting your ex boyIriend back
CLICK HERE to learn how to get my 'secret e-mail¨ address.

I`ll be more than happy to hear your unique story and personally ad-
dress any specific problems you may have.

It`s tough going through a breakup by yourselI. but with me by your
side helping you every step oI the way. I`m sure things will work out
in your Iavor.

Click here to unlock my secret e-mail address.

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                                                                                  
  



                                                                                                                                                                                   .

                                                           .

          .

                                                                                                     .

                                                                                                                              .

                                                                                                               .

                                                                                                           .

                                                                                                                                             .

                                                                                                                                       .

                                                                                                                                                .

                                                             .

            .

                                                                                                                           .

                                                                                                                   .

                                                                                 .

                                                                                                                                              .

                                                                  .

           .

                                                                                                                   .

                                                                                                                    .

                                                    •   •   •    •      •    •         .

                                •   •   •   •    •   •   •                                                                         .

                                                                                                                                     .

                                                                                                                                                                  .

                                                                          .

          .

                                                                                                                                                        .

                                                                                .

           .

                                                                                                                         •       .

•  •  •                                                                                                                           .

          .

                                                                           •    •                            .

                                                                                                                                                     .

                                                                                                                                                                  .

                                                                                                                 .

•    •    •   •                                                                                                                                       .

                           •   •    •              •      •    •   •                                  .

                                                                                                                                                                        .

                                                                                                                                             .

          .

                                                     •   •   •   •                         .

                                           .

           .

                                                                                                                   .

                                                                                                                                                  .

                                                                                                             •          .

•    •   •                                     .

           .

                                                                                            .

                                                                                                   •   •  

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•    •   •                                                                                                  

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                                                                                                                                                    .

                                                                                                                                                   .

                                                                                                                           .

                                                                        .

         .

                                                                                                                                        .

   • • • • • • •                                                                                     .

           .

    •   •   •     •    •   •                                                                                         .

                                                                                                                                                              .

                                                      .

                                                            .

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