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my heart continues to hurt, daily, for bradley manning, i think.

i feel this as real physical stabbing pain.

does anybody feel this the way i do, as physical pain?

then add up my stomach is in knots.

i try to eat to fuel my mind for crunching data.

but i don't really ever have appetite.
i did last spring, enjoy potato and tempeh, when i was reading international human rights law and about
the bush six torture legal theory for disbartorturelawyers, but overall this trend of no appetite is
something i fight.

lately, i have resumed avocados and carrot juice. brazil nuts, oats. it all is skit i allt to me.

the fasting man in india broke his five day fast when was signed into law a law against corruption.

potato chips are food, and so are oats, and banana.

i wonder what bradley manning eats.

the networks of immigrant musicians on the stockholm trains today included hammered dulcimer, and
electric violin.

war money swedish affluence, is so cha-ching.

they have not paved the streets with oilwar financed gold, yet.

had a ridiculous conversation with the stockholm local city paper, stockholm news or something, owned
by the bonniers, as is expressen.
so brainwashed, the journalists here.

spoke with a real estate lawyer last night, who agreed with me that explaining US antitrust law or
securities exchange complaints to a stockholm journalist is not going to work.

especially as the average moronic brain gets derailed on the rape obsession, which has proven the
brilliance of the rape campaign.

assange mentioned he will be suing the guardian, last night at the very fusty male-dominated shout-a-
thon frontline club thing.
i hope he sues the bonnier group, expressen, and the new york times as well.
mountains have been moved.
the debate last night was infuriatingly reminiscent of fox news and the WSJ.
i really only want to hear assange talk.
i think master rhetoriticians, always must transcend their own rhetoric.
as words are constantly holding a spectrum of values on a subjective value scale, it is near meaningless
to hear people argue whether or not whistleblowing is important. more critical is what the future is for
this great tide of consciousness raising.

i for one question assange's terms.
when he speaks of loftly idealisms as justice and rights, i question these sounds, and yet welcome these
words with ears sore for meaning. sore for one syllable uttered with total honesty and sentiment for the
true suffering of war-ravaged human misery.

dearest frida lindstrom said on 15 january stockholm, "you are the last glimpse of hope in our whole
rotten world" at the global day of action for wikileaks anonymous demo at sergel's torg stockholm
kulturhuset. she is a brilliant spokesperson, and could mobilize legions.

i hope the assange legal mill gives force to the control of the most pernicious aspects of war propaganda
character assassination.
and keeps the lying gagged guardian's lawyers working to defend their idiocy and total corruption.
the obvious ways the newspapers support empire, blood diamonds, fur coats, bombs, radar, saab, meat,
industrialized war, and industrialized post-war redevelopment-----should disgust us all.

anyone taking money from tabloids who take money from the racist party in sweden, should question
their academic integrity.

as the war papers are being shown up . . .

re: cables
i was impressed by volvo's need to keep the embargo off iran, to keep pumping trucks into their
economy.

he reason i like studying financial law is for the thrills and intricacy.

i pass no moral judgements on the murderers of children, the empire which crushes the middle east and
profits off the war.

i want the wallenberg FAM people to get it.
i exist in an amoral universe. too.

i think their disrespect for human life on such a large scale is fascinating.

i think their bribery record is fascinating.

corporate fraud is fascinating. poisoning humans with pharma and pharma bribes.

i can't pass judgement, because i dont believe in rights.

if anything i admire evil, because i do not understand it.
i think the buddha nature of the wallenbergs is about to renounce the war and earth destruction and
torture industries.

out of compassion, not any objectivized ethics.

their unethical business conduct will not be acceptable for Generation Anonymous.

we are not cold and dead to each other. we are interconnected.
i am near the strindberg house.

the geolocation of sentiment holds fast in sweden.

something about the way ingmar bergman moved me when nothing else could.

or strindberg's inferno.

heard medieval choral music at tyska brinken in gamla stan from a ensemble called the guild.

and romanian jazz songs nearby.

it is very important to understand sweden has always contributed heavily the iron and ore for war.

the sultans came here to promote trade and the wealth that built the little city of stockholm was from
the metals of the earth that might destroy or build other nations.

and if i take the time to critique empire, it is not because think empire will listen, but because my
conscience tells me to.

i selfishly give into every whim, if i am so lucky to have them

i was stuck in a place of darkness and apathy

that i have resurrected a human soul
in the face of environmental waste and bloodshed to tell
you
i am aware
that sweden supports american war
that the government and media are owned by US war interest
the people are propagandized and cannot think independent thoughts
assange is but another bug crushed by the war machine.

just because he uncovered many business machinations of american empire, does not mean it will be
halted.
greed as usual. no surprise.

the rest of the future depends on those of us who use these new tools and knowledge to write new new
laws new futures, if we do not give up in despair.
i argue that we might fight against human suffering, but as i so do it is with
metals mined at peril to human health
for electronics created at suicide sweatshops
operated
on a suspicious polluting energy grid
wearing
sweatshop made clothes
sipping
fossil fuel shipped coffee

so my personal ethical toll on the univere defeats my innermost jain wish to lay down and die.
as i resume warrior pose, and chose life, and with that destruction,
i will then make a habit of it to chase honesty and human rights as butterflies that float across the pages
of this blog and the most profound wishes of our
latent optimism
it is for my frien erik ellis's little nephew i write, because i am sorry we are handing the world over to
such a beautiful child, in such a poor state.
i resent that he must read bad newspapers and speak only with brainwashed people.

so in creating propaganda against the war, the greed and destruction, i hope he, and others of the 16
month year old generation
will not regard me personally, a 33 year old
or my fellows
as an entirely NAZI or braindead generation.
i will not be a good german.
i will fight the greed which racistly explodes the middle east and crushes every ilusion of privacy, free
speech, freedom of assembly, the right to bear arms.

internet should be a right in the future, it is louder than bombs.
that bradley manning cannot blog his feelings for us now or even speak to his lawyer must change.
information and communication must be our most protected right.

as the american right to bear arms, regarded the protection of personal safety.
now too our sense of safety has expanded to include our minds, our privacy, our sensitivities as
intelligent beings.

the cables were artistic personalized victorian missives created by naive statesman overly reliant on a
false sense of trust of state and protection of regime.

the archaic courts which uphold torture, the swedish politicians who protect torture, the psychological
warfare which destroys oppenents must be exposed.

operation want
will be a part of new methods of governance.
as old congress or constitutional conventions employed the greatest technologies of their times to unify
minds through language, and then law.

so must we understand that we, anonymous, on twitter and internets and facebook, are writing our
future, and our collective consciousness, and our law.

their law is not good enough.
their law was racist.
their law protected torture.
their law means applebaums genitals are fondled at airports because he supported wikileaks war-crimes
expose.

this is not good enough.

Don't let them kill you, or make your brain numb.
And if you suicide do it in style.

mick jagger: pleased to meet you.
the vietnam war aint over yet, it takes a long long time.

everything is meaningless to me, especially including this blog.
but see how technology shapes the human experience.
will we fill our minds with facts, dreams, history.
the technological oral tradition, could exist by a campfire.

we could talk about it, in a black out.
how it made you feel to see empires crumble and young people take to the streets.
and the biggest lying mouth of all time kept lying, and evrything seemed like a dream, and how your
brother was tortured in abu ghraib, in guantanamo.

yesterday, i ate so i could work. i was reading about guantanamo, and thinking about the forcefeeding
of hunger striking detainees, against their right to protest their anti-habeas corpus indefinite detention
through selfstarvation.

selfstarvation could be a recognized religious right.
freedom of religion could mean freedom to starve.

the jain tradition reveres the starvation of the awareness of violence to living things implicit in survival.
buddhist sokushinbutsu tradition
or tekakwitha, the starving saint.
we are beautiful losers.
bloggers are mystics.
human rights arise in the mysticism of natural law.
so too, duty, family. these abstractions unify our conceptions of time and safety across the plane of
consciousness. but they are not particularly real.
the scribe, the writers of the law
tagged up digital space, for whatever motive.
i write because i feel a burning need to.
write for human rights
write towards them
i dont hope to affect massive change.
i dont have any hopes actually.
but some hope is renewed sometimes, in the teary eyes of the sentiment of friendship
or the wail of the mother
covered in the blood of human massacre
a wallenberg tradition
operation want
war industry sweden

mary eng
NB

it is without the interference of american sexism, that I feel more clearly able to focus on my writing
and life of the mind, and for that I thank sweden