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/Venus retrograde in scorpio.

Dat child born when venus turned away. Dat child born out of love's favor. Dat child

angry at love. Dat child angry in love. He fall in love and he get scared and angry and

mean. Dat child angry and mean in love and beautiful. Venus would have tempered the

storm of his beauty, had her back not been turned. An angry mean beautiful and alluring

storm child born in the winter of love, cold and beautiful.

/Sun in the 12th house/

I'm high again. Don't know what to do. I've screwed all the good ones. The rest are like

oopses. It happens. Oops. No other way to say it. We bury ourselves in our mistakes. I

just say oops and walk away now. It feels like I've been walking forever. I can't stop,

unless I’m high. That's the curse of the ever-living. Spirit jumpers some call us; souls I

retort. We are souls sent to bring constancy. God forgive my sins.

I thought when I ran away I'd find freedom. I promise. That is the only reason. If I could

take it all back. I can't think about that now. I’m here now by myself, yet I miss people.

Their eyes tell me stories that their mouths are afraid to corroborate. They feed me, but I

hate people when I’m around them. All the phonies. Nobody says what’s really on their

mind, too concerned with hurting somebody’s feelings. They make up lies to save the

feeling of facing the truth. It only makes them weaker. Even though they would call it

being nice, when you’ve been around for as long as I have, you learn that nice people

don’t make it because they won’t face the truth. The truth is the world is mean and

beautiful at the same time.

You probably think I’m crazy by now. I may very well be. In some incarnation I was one

of Carl Jung’s first patients. Rather, I should say wandering experiments. I feel him with

me. Especially when I dream.

I’ve been having these dreams. I can’t sleep. I don’t know what’s wrong. Maybe it’s the

meds, or drugs, or both. It’s as if everything I’ve seen before comes flashing back at me

like a bad dream. Nothing serious, just some bad dreams. I’d like to see a doctor, but all

the good ones are dead. The ones who would actually follow me into the dreams to

understand are all dreamt away. Now, they want to stand at the shore of my jungle and try

to understand without entering. Judgment is weak without empathy. How can you

understand me if you could never imagine to be me? So I go on understanding myself and

empathizing with the world in waking dreams of past lives and future regrets.
/Mars in the 3rd House/

She was asleep: my sister, but my father was looking at her like he loved her; so

attentively. His head was bleeding. He’d just had a fight with my mother. As the little boy

watched it made him hard. Sister was asleep on the bottom bunk, Boy on the top bunk.

He felt the weight of his father as he sat on the bed. From the mirror on the opposite blue

wall he could barely see the touching, but he could have felt it innately. It would have felt

like love, if he knew what love was. Inside the precious box of four blue walls, Father

would touch her and hold her; kiss her. Boy would just watch. He was always watching.

He would touch himself. He imagined what it would have felt like if Father loved him

like that. If anyone would have loved him like that, maybe he would have been different.

The hardness spread from his groin to cover him. It protected him from the thoughts of

his father sister and mother. It protected him from thoughts of why nobody ever loved

him like that.

The hardness turned love from a feeling to thought; Love, a divine experiment to test

mortal’s capacity for justice. If he sought love it would never hurt him. He fought the

truth seeking love. The truth was he’d been hurt in ways that even he didn’t realize. The

wounds ran deep changing the color of his aura from a luminescent sunny yellow to a

more socially acceptable paper bag brown. It could have all been made so simple but life

made him hard. His family made him hard. Silly games and forceful intrusions showed

him paths that deities would have led him astray of. He closes his eyes and dreams of

touching love.
The dream is always the same. The crystal cave bends and refracts my image into

distorted contortions of past remembrance of myself. The images reflect off of each other

and melt into a thousand eyes and everyone’s watching me. I turn my head only to see the

eyes spin along with me. I smell smoke. A figure sits before me in the reflections and I

search the crystal cave for his origin.

Shaman sits legs folded smoking a cigar and humming quietly to himself. His eyes like

charcoal stare through the wafts of smoke now overpowering my crystal cave. They tell

me to sit down as I stand there resisting. My knees feel weak under the pressure of his

stare and I am getting dizzy from the swirls of smoke and smell of casked rum. He holds

up one hand and the peace is immediate and euphoric. Peace tastes like grandmas sweet

potato pie sweet hot and sticky. It’s a spicy feeling but my palate will not decide what the

spices mean. As I sit across from him deciding the flavors of peace a single piece of

crystal breaks from above my head. It falls with the velocity of a feather minded bullet.

Shaman takes it before I even realize that this is why I’m in this dream again; he’s taken a

piece of love from my cave.

/ Mars in Libra/

Romeo‘s mother Aquarius lived in his walk. The precisely exaggerated steps and the

confidence he'd always wished his mother had. It wasn't easy. Between being tempted by

a pensioned position at krispy kreme donuts and a Chattanooga husband who believed

that a good meal came in a serving size bowl, she was stuck fatter than she’d ever been.

It wasn't the weight. Really it was the tiredness. In moments of inspiration she would

think to herself that it was just her mind tricking her. Never mind the weight. Sometimes

she believed she was beautiful. She glowed all through her pregnancy. She joked to

herself, “if I got this much attention from men I wouldn't have settled for that country

bum. But he got me. Got one waiting to land." Her uncle had joked with her that babies

were like aliens. That they landed from the sky. That was before she knew about making

love and making babies from sloppy love. Making babies: the glue of sloppy love.

Chattanooga loved her too while he was inside her. He would make love to her until all

her muscles relaxed, go in the bathroom and masturbate looking at himself in the mirror.

There was no thought, just an emotional victory. Her look of satisfaction was his worth. It

takes a lot of love to satisfy a woman that tired and all he had to give was love. She gave

him everything else. That’s why he had to leave.

He never came inside her. When she told him she was pregnant he knew it was a lie.

Women in towns like Waterton tell lies like that to keep their men. That’s the power of

Waterton women. Little lies don’t count when it comes to keeping a man and every

woman in the city understands and sticks to this unspoken code.

Chatanooga could hear the whispers whenever he would walk down the street. All the

demure smiles he used to catch fleetingly flew away. The time came that he didn’t like to

walk down the street anymore. The bar that used to be his haven quickly became so

claustrophobic that he could not catch a breath in the midst of the cacophony of whispers

and smirks. “Baby please, no dick is worth what that woman is going through.” He

caught one young girl slying between puffs of her cigarette as her man was shooting pool

in the back. When he caught her eye to let her know he heard her and did not appreciate

any young thing in his business, she blatantly rolled her eyes and snapped her neck to

where her man was sharpening some chalk on his pool cue. She was not impressed. His

beauty was his manhood but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The women all looked

at him only now all they saw was fat-ass pregnant Aquarius.

He stopped shaving and getting his lineups mostly because his barber was one of

Aquarius’ many cousins. When he walked in the shop for the last time there was a break

in the chatter that would have shattered eternity.

“How you want that cut man?” Barb had never asked him that before. He was

known in the town for doing the perfect cut to fit any brothers head.

“Just do your thing man”

“You’d do better telling me how to do this cut. You don’t want me to do my

thing.” Barb rubbed his beard waved his hand and threw out a laugh to let everyone in the

shop know blood is thicker than a 10 dollar haircut. The clippers barely nicked

Chatanooga’s chin, but the blood cried out of the little razor burn as though it had been
planning its escape for weeks. Anybody who didn’t know Barb would say that’s just what

happens when the clippers get dull. Everyone who remarked how sharp Barb always was

knew those nicks were in exchange for the ass whipping he had planned on putting on

that boy in his cousin’s name.

“That’ll be 10 dollars.”

Chatanooga pulled out one of his last tens folded it in half length wise and left it on the


“No tip?”

“Man you fucked up my line and I know I’m gonna get bumps grown in couple

days from now”

“Small town. What can I say?”

Chatanooga left knowing he better invest in some clippers himself or learn to go without

his tightly lined goatee and moustache. In Waterton, there were only three barbers and

once you started going to one, that was your sage for life. His name was officially burnt

like the dark area forming between his chin and adam’s apple. The burning spread like

shame over his face. It spread from his chin to cover him. He closed his eyes. His shame

tasted like anger. He couldn’t take the bitterness. He shifted his mind to Aquarius and

pushed the feeling off onto her. If she’d never let that man into the one place that was his,

he wouldn’t have left. She could have at least admitted it instead of letting him walk

away feeling like he was the one who was wrong.

“That bitch gun’ have sum bad luck til she come clean.” It was the last thought he

let pass on his woman and his son. He cursed her and forgot her and moved down south
where his looks wouldn’t be weighed down by Aquarius-fat-ass’ lies.

The truth is baby Romeo looked more like Chatanooga than he did Aquarius. She joked

“If this baby wasn’t so damn loud I wouldn’t even think he was mine.” Everyone who

had any doubt that a fine man like Chatanooga would do a woman so dirty quickly

changed their mind when they saw the baby. When the doctor asked what she wanted to

name him she paused as though she’d never even considered the question. After her

solitary deliberation she looked up at Dr. Herschmeyer’s nose hairs fluttering with every

breath and said, “Romeo. His daddy was a lover.”

“A Shakespeare fan?” he said coolly as if she’d just tried to name the baby King

Richard III or something.

“who?” She had her baby in her arms and did not have time to think about this

Jewish doctor trying to judge her. She had enough on her mind. She wanted to hurry up

and get out of that hospital bed. She thought to herself, “for $137 a night I could be

staying at the Hilton. At least they have some customer service.” She winced as Romeo

tugged at her nipple. She had forgotten about him for a minute. “This shit hurts worse

than birthing ‘em.” The thought made her feel bad for a minute. A mother shouldn’t be

thinking things like that. A mother is supposed to be there for her child. She pulled the

soft little head and held it to her breast. Romeo would not eat. She waited. The baby

looked up at her with a wisdom that belied his years. His eyes were Chatanooga’s and she

hated to look at them. The eyes that loved her and left her; holding her breast again.

“Nurse! I can‘t do this all by myself!”

She found herself slipping. She had promised herself that she would never think
back to Chatanooga; she would never miss him. Baby Romeo stared at her with his

fathers eyes and it sent Aquarius through feelings that she would have rather forgotten



He mixes lovers like he mixes his drinks. Today; dominican rum and coke with an

imported mexican beer chaser. The beer must be imported. The lovers have to be exotic.

He consumes them like alcohol, forgetting his pain in them. Chasing them and running

from them at the same time.

Its dark. The crowd is not very crowded but somewhere between the almost visible deep

bass beat and wafts of bittersweet smoke there was a party to throw down. A celebration

of gods who want to vogue and be beautiful. To balance the pain really but only the

strong survive and the strongest slay.

/Venus in Gemini/

Just deal with it. Nobody knows how to deal with it. Love is like faith. Some people have

it. Some people spend their whole lives trying to intellectualize the feeling so they miss
out on the experience.

Montreal story --

Car /spanking story--

Nitestar story (Cydell)--

Minneapolis story--

Roselle apt story (troy spying on people)--

NEA-- leaves his body when something bad is happening and watches. (asymptomatic of

multiple personality disorder)

The quick answer is that everyone is reincarnated until they reach a stage of perfection that Edgar Cayce
essentially described as "the awareness within each soul of the soul's oneness with God."

Generally, however, soul groups cycle in and out of the Earth together and, therefore, at
approximately the same time. (I am speaking in eras and ages, not days or years.) This is
particularly evident in the past-life readings, as they are called, of Edgar Cayce. Many of
them were for souls who fell into one of two major soul groups and naturally followed
their cycles of incarnation. Notice in the following listing that the two groups mentioned
were sometimes in the Earth at the same periods, but in different locations, not
surprisingly. Edgar Cayce and those who worked closely with him also traveled with one
of these two groups.
Group l:
Early Atlantis
Early Ancient Egypt
Persia (during the time of Croseus I,II)
Palestine (during the time of Christ)
The Crusades
Colonial America
Group 2:
Late Atlantis
Late Ancient Egypt
Early Greece
Rome (during the time of Christ)
France (during the time of Louis XIV, XV, XVI)
The American Civil War
Of course, these are only the most significant incarnations for these souls; they would
most probably have incarnated many more times than the list indicates. There were also
other incarnation-sequences given, but the majority of the readings were for souls who
typically cycled with one of these two major groups. We should also take a look at.some
significant exceptions to this pattern. Some souls did not always incarnate with their
group, choosing instead to skip a cycle or enter with another group, though they usually
rejoined their original group eventually. Others, though cycling into the Earth-plane with
their group, did not actually incarnate, i.e., did not enter into a body; rather they stayed in
the spirit and helped from a higher vantage point while the others incarnated. One
example of this comes from an Edgar Cayce reading for a woman who wanted to know
why she hadn't been given an incarnation during the Palestine era in which her present
son and husband had incarnated. She was told that she was there, but not in the flesh. She
was, as some of us would term it today, a "guardian angel" for her present son while he
lived and worked in that period.
A group of souls may find themselves together again and yet not one of them desired it to
be so. In these cases, it is often the forces of the Universal Law that cause them to come
together. For better or for worse they now have to meet the effects of their past actions
with each other. The Universal intention is that the confrontation will lead to a resolution
of their karma or at least a recognition of how their past actions with each other have
caused the present predicament, and they will resolve not to act that way again.
Both in individual and group relationships, the karmic effects of past actions with others
can create some very difficult, even terrible situations. The meeting can result in murder,
rape, torture and other atrocities. Even in lesser cases karmic effect can result in back-
biting, back-stabbing, bickering, fighting and other turmoils. Imagine what might happen
if the universal forces of cause and effect brought together the souls of the Roman
Coliseum and the souls they fed to the lions, or the Conquistadors and the Incas and
Aztecs, or the Nazis and Jews.
The same cause-and-effect forces play a part in individual lives, too. Imagine if the Law
brought together a victim killed in a family quarrel and his or her murderer. What about a
soul who betrayed another's trust or love? What would be the reaction toward one another
in this present Life? When lives are heavily burdened by the negative effects of their past
actions, their present experience is often tragic, and occasionally their lives may appear to
be wasted senselessly. However, from the soul's perspective a single incarnation is a
learning-experience and an opportunity to resolve past actions that are now holding the
soul back from a fuller life. One physical life is not the ultimate living experience for the
soul. It is an opportunity to resolve the burdens past actions have placed upon our souls
and to clear away the many ideas that continue to confuse and limit us. So even though
the seventy or eighty years that comprise the average lifetime seem so very singular and
final, it is only a temporary sojourn, a brief experience along an infinite path of soul-life.
Of course, all the good that has been experienced among the various souls and soul
groups has just as strong an effect on present situations as does evil, and when we focus
on this "good karma" we often find better ways to resolve the negative influences.

According to the metaphysical work of Rudolf Steiner, the soul actually incarnates in
four stages. 1) A first level of consciousness enters at or near the time of birth. 2) A
second and greater level of consciousness enters around the time the child cuts it first
teeth. 3) A third level enters during puberty. And, 4) The final and complete entry of the
soul occurs close to the age of twenty-one.

(use for aquarius and romeo) As for the children, the first daughter had been Linda's
close friend through many lifetimes, bringing this love and friendship into the present
life. In their most recent past life, the first daughter had helped Linda deal with the
problems Linda had had with her father (Linda's present husband), and now as their
daughter she would do so again. Now the second daughter had been the father's lover in
many past lives, so you can just imagine the mutual enmity this created between the
mother and daughter in the present. Linda's milk wasn't all the baby was allergic to!
Neither did she want Linda's love and comfort as much as she did her father's. The father
and his second daughter would have to learn to love each other in a much different way
or break one of the strictest taboos, incest. All of these feelings were occurring
subconsciously, of course, subtly affecting the conscious life.
As we can see, the deep currents of past experiences were playing a significant role in
their present relationships. According to the Cayce readings, their goal now, from their
souls' point of view, was to live together again and make an effort to accentuate the love
and virtues, and minimize the resentments and bad habits they carried with them as a
result of their past.

In another case, despite all his efforts to ignore or resist it, Michael Parks was afraid of
the dark. His fear of the dark was not like most children's; he was deathly afraid, to the
point of suffocating if left in the dark too long. As far as he and his parents could recall,
his childhood was rather normal and nothing had occurred that might have caused this
fear. Yet, during all of his childhood life in his parents' home, anyone in charge of him
had to be aware of his fear and take precautions to insure that he was never inadvertently
left alone in a dark room or house. His parents were very tolerant of his fear, caring for
him in every way and were unusually understanding and sympathetic. And later, when he
married and started a home and family of his own, his wife assumed the burden of his
fear. She too proved to be very patient with him. Together they worked out an elaborate
scheme whereby he could go to bed with the lights on and she would come to bed after he
had fallen asleep. Only then would she turn the lights off so she could fall asleep. Even
so, if he awoke during the night, he would become extremely anxious and uncomfortable.
He would have to fight to keep himself from panicking before turning on his bedside
light. But once the light was on, the only way he could get back to sleep was to go into
the living room, turn on all the lights and sleep on the couch, knowing the lights would be
on while he slept.

One night Michael awoke from a terrifying dream, a dream that was to be the beginning
of his conquering the fear. He dreamt he was in a dark dungeon surrounded by wet stone
walls that went up so high he couldn't see where they ended. There was absolutely no
way out and no one was coming to help him. As he stood there he began to cry. He cried
so long and hard that the cell began to fill with his tears. When he noticed the tear-water
was up to his chest, he tried to stop crying but couldn't get hold of himself - it all seemed
too horribly fixed, so unchangeable that he felt completely trapped without hope of ever
seeing light or life again. Eventually, the pool of tears reached his nose and he had to
stand on his tiptoes to breathe, yet he continued to cry. Slowly he allowed himself to ease
under the water, drifting into a sorrowful, lonely dream of letting go, surrendering his will
to the reality of his predicament. At this point he awoke from the dream. The sheets were
soaked and his body was covered with chilly sweat. When he told his wife and parents
the dream they cried and were very upset by it. However, underneath, Michael was
beginning to feel pretty good. In fact, he noticed his fear of the dark had actually
diminished since the dream. It was as though something in that dream had healed and
changed him.
About a year later Michael happened to take part in a series of exercises for recalling
past-life experiences. From the information he received during these exercises and
several more dreams over the next two years, he began to understand why he was afraid
of the dark.
In a previous incarnation he had been a renegade from the courts and causes of Louis
XIV. So violent and disruptive were his counter-attacks against the king that he became
one of the most wanted men in France. His raids destroyed many of the king's
storehouses, and his ability to elude capture created a great deal of hatred among the
king's soldiers charged with capturing him. One day they did capture him and in
retaliation for his actions and also as a result of their frustration with trying to stop him,
they threw him into the bottom of a well-like dungeon, covered it and left him there to die
a slow death. In this terrible place of complete darkness, he managed to survive for
several days. In the beginning he was sure his friends and his wife would come to his
rescue. But as time went by he realized that no one was coming and he lost hope and
died. In the latter days of his ordeal he lost all sense of time and his mind began to fall
apart. He could no longer be sure of what was real and what was illusion. But the worst
part was the unrelenting darkness and confinement. This was what his soul remembered
and most feared.
Just as we might expect, his current parents and wife, who helped him deal with his fear
in the present life, had been the very people he had counted on to rescue him from the
dungeon. His father and his wife had been his close friends and colleagues-in-arms, while
his present mother had been his wife in the French incarnation. They didn't go to his
rescue because he had become so notorious that it would have been too risky to attempt
to save him without being captured and thrown into the dungeon with him. To a great
degree, his own actions had brought him to this end, yet his parents and wife regretted
that they had not at least tried to rescue him. His present-life dream was too much for his
parents and wife to hear without deeply reacting to his ordeal. However, Michael's
reliving the experience in his dream somehow released him from his life-long fear of the
In yet another less dramatic case, a man who had fallen in love with a divorcee found
himself struggling with his feelings. He eventually married her and tried to be the best
stepfather to her child he possibly could, but when he discovered that he could not father
children himself, he felt cheated and fought feelings of resentment toward the special
relationship between his wife and her child. When he received a past-life reading from
Edgar Cayce, he was told that in a previous incarnation in ancient Greece he had been
married to the same woman. In that life she was the one unable to conceive a child.
Though aware of her sadness and heightened sensitivity because of the added
implications of being barren in those days, he chose a second wife to bear him a child. He
further shamed and humiliated her by bringing the second wife and child to live in the
same house, forcing her to witness the open joy and affection expressed in the little
family. In his present-life circumstances, according to Cayce, he was merely meeting
himself: though he deeply desired his own offspring, he was impotent; and though living
in his own home, he felt like an outsider to the love shared within it.
Taking advantage of the present situation and making life as miserable as possible for her
husband would simply be setting herself up for a future destiny of sadness. The law of
karma is very impersonal: What one does, one experiences, without exception. If this
woman now chose to help her husband meet his fate as best she could, she would heal
many wounds and free herself at the same time.

In still another case, a beautiful woman from the modern cosmopolitan life of a big city
came to Cayce and described her tragic predicament, asking for a remedy. Her present
husband was impotent and she was a beautiful woman in the prime of her life. Why?
Why was she in such a tragic situation? she lamented. She went on to say that there was
another man she knew at work, and she wondered if she could have an affair with him yet
remain with her husband...because she did love her husband; she simply wanted to fulfill
all of her womanhood. Cayce responded by showing her why she was faced with such a
In a past incarnation during the Crusades, she and her present husband were also married
to each other. He was then one of the greatest of the Crusaders, often going off to war.
However, every time he left, he saw to it that she wore a chastity belt, literally putting her
under lock and key! Then and there she swore deep in her heart she would get even with
him, and now, Cayce said, she had him right where she'd always wanted him - in a
position where she could make him pay dearly.
What a triangle! I wouldn't be surprised if the other man had also been hanging around
the castle while the rest of the men were off to war. At any rate, here they were again, set
up perfectly to play out resolution or revenge for past actions with each other. The
husband had used his free will to squash his wife's, forcing her to submit to his sexual
restraints without any choice on her part. Now he found himself sexually restricted and
frustrated, and completely subject to her will and her choices. She now had the power to
make him pay.
But this was a loving as well as lovely woman. She found herself torn by her marriage
vow and her desire to simply enjoy her physical beauty and youth. Paradoxically, she also
found herself wanting to make a success of her marriage and her home, and despite his
past wrong, she loved her husband and he returned that love in so many ways. If only he
were able to sexually fulfill her. What a tangled web. The choice was completely hers;
nothing was standing in her way.
Cayce advised her to do whatever she would want done to her if she were in her
husband's shoes, and she did. She withdrew from the other man's affections and built a
loving home with her husband. We might well feel that she suffered twice in the
relationship, but if she had only not wanted revenge on him, she wouldn't have had to be
with him again. The true karma was within him. She got involved again by her desire to
get even with him. No doubt she will eventually incarnate into a life filled with physical,
mental, emotional and spiritual happiness and the rest of the world will probably look at
her and think she is lucky rather than deserving.

The “love chemical” is phenyl ethylamine (PEA).

Psychologically, love is dependent upon childhood caregiving. Much research has

documented three bonding orientations in children that carry over into adulthood. Using
their terms, the three orientations are: secure bonding, ambivalent, and avoidant. If
childhood care is consistent, comforting, and offers a safe base from which to explore the
world, then the child grows into an adult that has a secure orientation toward bonding,
which results in trust, lasting relationships, shared intimacy, and the ability to work out
conflicts through compromise. If the childhood care is inconsistent, creating doubts about
the caregiver’s availability and the safety of the base from which to explore, then the
child grows up to view him- or herself poorly and be-comes preoccupied with keeping his
or her romantic partners close at hand and firmly committed. If the childhood care needs
are repeatedly rejected or the caregiver is frequently upset or violent, then the child
develops avoid-ant patterns and grows up to either look down upon or dread any hints of
emotional intimacy.
From a philosophical perspective, love can be categorized into three major types, using
the Greek words eros, philia, and agape. Eros refers to love that is passionate, intense,
and sexual, even erotic. However, Plato held that eros really seeks transcendental beauty,
but human beauty reminds one of that transcendent beauty. Philia love is fondness and
appreciation of the other, beyond self. It is friendship, family loyalty, community ties,
love for one’s work, and the like. Agape love refers to God’s love for His/Her children
and to humani-ty’s love for one another. Agape love does not seek anything in return for
its expression. However, agape love has an ethical standard and may therefore impartially
determine another’s warranting love -- something we acknowledge today as tough love,
meaning a love that calls the other to higher levels of behavior. In the New Testament,
written in Greek, many of the “love” statements use the word agape.

Throughout the Bible, love is most important and powerful. When we think of power,
even spiritual power, we rarely think of love. Yet, from Genesis to the Revelation, the
Bible indicates that love evokes the highest, most godly of powers and actually is the
nature of God. Love brings us closest to our true, divine nature -- our angelic nature.
Many biblical passages teach that of all the things a person can learn and do in this world,
nothing reflects Godliness more than love. (Love’s power is developed further on page 4,
Giving of Ourselves.)
Paul describes love beautifully: “Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love
does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is
not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all
things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

“The beauty of your life rises as a sweet incense before the altar of mercy. Yet it is not
sacrifice but peace, grace, and mercy that we would manifest among the children of men.
For God is love.”
“Keep your paths straight. Know in whom you have believed, as well as in what you
believe. For the love as passes understanding can, does, and will make your pathway
brighter. Keep in that way.”

If we could see one another in our true spirit-self, we would appear so godly that we
would bow down and worship. Yet, our spirit-self would retain enough of its
individualness to speak to and guide us, as Peter did to John.

Leila and her companions knew this was nonsense. They reasoned that some great
distortion of perception had apparently come over these souls, and in order to see the
truth again they needed to regain their finer nature and form. However, in order for Leila
and her group to reach these souls, they were going to have to move deeper into the
Earth's dimensions themselves - a move very few of them wanted to make - yet they
couldn't just leave these lost souls in such a ridiculous state of awareness. After much
reflection, Leila and her companions felt sure they could maintain their spiritual
consciousness while communicating with these terrestrial ones.
The plan was to first approach those who were the least affected by the Earth's physical
dimension, re-awaken them to the truth, and convince them to convey to the others that
they were heading in the wrong direction and needed to turn around. Returning to the
higher dimensions of life and consciousness had to be done soon or they would be too
emashed in matter to get out. If this happened, then they would have to go through the
whole journey of material evolution.

It quickly became apparent that this transformation in consciousness was going to take
much longer than originally expected. The terrestrially possessed companions were far
more involved in this world than had first been suspected. In fact, many of them were
actually seeking to build colonies here and sojourn among the planet's trees, mountains,
and waters indefinitely. This might have been completely compatible with the Creator if
they had not also been developing an almost idolic interest in themselves and their own
desires without any regard for others and the Universal Forces.
This self-seeking energy would prove to be the first evil, the first sin, and the followers
and supporters of this self-centered movement would become known as "The Children of
Darkness" because their paths led toward the abyss of separation and loss of contact with
the Creator. Prior to these changes there had been only One Force. Now there were two;
the second an evil that mounted life for its own purposes, destroying everything in its
way. The loss of contact with any holistic source and interconnection to life, combined
with the new paradigm reflected in the principles of "survival of the fittest," established
an entirely new and inherently destructive dimension of consciousness.

Leila struggled hard to maintain her attunement and to aid those who sought her guidance
and counsel, but she could feel herself assuming more and more the substance of the
Earth. As she battled with the terrestrial leaders, she found herself becoming more willful
and determined to force her views upon them. This righteous and well-meaning desire
was subtly giving strength to forces of self-interest, but unlike some of her fellow
companions, Leila perceived the effects of willfulness, and resisted.

Her name was now Asamee. Hers was not exactly an individual name as we have today;
rather, it was the collective name for a line of souls, all of whom were called "Asamee."
Individuality was not near what it has become today. Differentiating one soul from
another wasn't done; all were still very much one. Those who felt as she did about life
and consciousness were called "The Children of the Law of One." This name had come to
them because of their insistence that there was only One Force in the universe, and souls
were the children of the One. They also taught "The Law of the One," which included a
principle that actions naturally produce reactions, an idea that the terrestrials considered
ridiculous and just another attempt to keep them from doing whatever they wanted.

According to the Cayce readings, one of the souls who was with Asamee in these times
was called Amilius. This soul would later become known as Jesus of Nazareth, savior of
the world. His story weaves in and out of Leila's and is a fascinating one in itself. Cayce
said that in these very early times on the planet, Amilius perceived the disastrous change
that had come over his fellow souls, resulting in the terrestrial ones, and came to the
conclusion that things had gotten beyond the level of a brief flirtation with the Earth. It
was now time, he felt, to develop a much more long-term plan for dealing with the
situation. On this point, many of the Children of the Law of One disagreed or had other
ideas about how better to deal with the problem. Thus, for the first time, a difference of
opinion arose within the ranks of the Children. Amilius, his intentions pure and his vision
clear, was clearly attuned to the Universal Consciousness. Because of this, most of the
Children supported his perceptions, some begrudgingly, others wholeheartedly, but of
course, some resisted them strongly.
Amilius perceived that if this loss of celestial consciousness could happen to one soul, it
could happen to any soul; therefore, the problem needed to be faced; the temptation
needed to be overcome, not avoided. Furthermore, the root of the problem was not the
Earth and its unique form of life, but the struggle within each soul to learn to use its
godliness in such a way as to be all it was meant to be and yet not destroy itself and other
life in the process. Key to this problem was the sense of separation a soul felt as it
became more self-conscious and less universally conscious. This sense of separation,
which resulted in a loss of purpose and identity with anything or anyone, occurred in the
celestial realms as well as in the Earth, though more accentuated in the latter. Therefore,
it was assumed the Earth was the best place to conquer it.

Amilius was making a commitment to enter the Earth and live among the lost ones to
somehow overcome its destructive influences. He believed if self-consciousness and its
resulting sense of separation could be overcome, it could be overcome here as well as
anywhere else. And once overcome, it would no longer have any power over the
Children, the future companions of God; they would know the truth and they would be
Some among Amilius' group wanted to leave these Earthlings to wallow in their own sins
and delusions. Others doubted their own ability to resist the temptations that had so
possessed the lost souls. For in addition to dealing with this problem of one's own inner
temptations and struggles, they were going to have to deal with the terrestrial souls who
had now become very aggressive and lawless. To attempt to live among them was not
only spiritually, mentally and emotionally dangerous, it was physically dangerous. Some
of the Children also pointed out that there were many complications involved in this
Earth problem, so many complexities and complications that a real solution might well be
impossible. Perhaps they would just be throwing good souls after bad if they attempted to
enter and subdue this world.

Furthermore, their sexual oneness had been eroded by the natural duality of the planet,
causing them to accentuate one aspect of their sexual forces (male or female) and subdue
the other (the respective male or female opposite). No longer were they united,
androgynous beings; they were now either predominantly masculine or feminine in their
appearance and energy. Physically, then, their new Earthly form would need to reflect
these changes by being either male or female. Asamee and her fellow "double-sexed"
companions began the work of creating forms for these souls, male and female,
separating their double-sexed natures into single-sexed physical projections, Amilius
being the first to completely achieve this.

The physical setting for all of these struggles and the subsequent work and commitment
was Atlantis. Many souls were involved, and Leila interacted with most of them, their
lives weaving in and out of hers throughout her incarnations In some cases, they built
strong, lasting relationships that were forever a blessing to them. In other cases, they built
disagreements, misunderstandings and distrust that haunted them whenever their paths
Hi Shadows

Keep your hopes up! I had a view of what I had to assume was a past life for several
years before I knew anymore. Sometimes while meditating I would see a smiling face of
an Asian gentleman who seemed to be a monk, and about 50 years old and... he was me.
There was no other way I could describe him except as me; he just didn't look like me.

It wasn't until 3-4 years later that I started seeing more and the full extent that I've ever
seen is about a 4 second "video" of him looking at me and then gesturing to this beautiful,
rocky, clouded valley (He is in full maroon and gold monk's robes) I get the feeling he is
offering me a gift of what I have been but no words are exchanged.

As far as seeking more or getting a past life experience or view, I've never really thought
about it. This has just happened, always during meditation except once it was in


From Cayce’s perspective, much of modern-day technology is simply the rediscovering

of knowledge and information possessed by the Atlantean culture. Yet, although the
Atlanteans were advanced technologically, many of the people lost their sense of purpose
by becoming too attached to power and the material world. In time, this once spiritual
populace became fractured into two distinct groups: the Children of the Law of One and
the Sons of Belial. Those of the Law of One carried on the spiritual tradition of their
ancestors, while the Sons of Belial became engrossed with satisfying their physical
appetites and desires. This split would eventually lead to the continent’s downfall and
eventual destruction.

Our Scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missles and
misguided men - Dr. Martin Luther King
Working with past life images and allowing them to unfold into scenes
and stories is essentially a meditative process. It requires a stillness, a
certain trust in the creative powers of the deep imagination as well as
a readiness to encounter not just appealing but often dark and
disturbing images.
In the previous chapter I suggested that there is often a deeper level
to what we call our complexes, a layer that has a buried past-life core.
However, you may still feel a little sceptical about what exactly these
past life memories are, indeed you may find you doubt the very
possibility of remembering past lives. The rational mind objects, and
rightly so, to ideas that do not fit the generally accepted world view.
So before proceeding it may be useful to examine some of the most
common sceptical reactions to "past life" recall.

The mystics have always known this. Kabir, a celebrated Indian mystic,
made fun of the materialists with a very provocative little image. He
said, "take a bucket of water. Fill it with water from the river, now put
it back in the river. What have you got? Is the water in the bucket, or
is the bucket in the water?" and then he went on to say, "don't think
about it too hard lest silly people start to talk about the body and the
mind." There's also another lovely saying that goes "You'll never find
your heart in a temple until you find the temple in your heart". Poetic
declarations like these deliberately use metaphors to describe in
images that which belongs to the non-material level of reality.
A symbol of this is the famous picture of the eye in the triangle,
derived from Freemasonry by the Founding Fathers, that we have in
the American dollar bill. This is actually an esoteric symbol meaning
the eye of God, the Third Eye of the yoga chakras. It's only when we
contemplate or see from the perspective of the higher mind or Self,
that the mysteries of karma, human suffering, and what I'm calling the
evolution of the soul, begin to make sense and to have some kind of

In the writings of early Buddhism we find a reported sermon by the

Buddha in which he said something very similar to this:
With the heavenly eye purified and beyond range of human vision, I
saw how beings vanish and come to be again. I saw high and low,
brilliant and insignificant, and how each attained, according to his
karma, a favorable or a painful birth

Gloryholes ----- why they exist…..a setting for the spiritual transference inferred…