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TopMasala “Santa Banta” Jokes
Santa Singh as a software engineer! What will Santa do if he gets the following error message? FILE NOT FOUND! To find out scroll down . . . . . . .
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Painful pinch! As the crowded elevator descended, Banta's wife, Preeto, became increasingly furious with Banta, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous girl. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the girl suddenly whirled, slapped Banta, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Banta was halfway to the parking lot with Preeto when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't," said Preeto, consolingly, "I did."
sardar ji in a quiz contest... Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest -> 1) How long was the 100 yr war? A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150 Sardar says "I will skip this" 2) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution? A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER Sardar asks for help from general public 3) Which of these was King George VI first name? A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL Sardar asks for lucky cards 4) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal: A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT #Sardar gives up. If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below: #1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453 2) The October revolution is celebrated in November 3) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name. 4) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies now tell me who's the dumb one.Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again
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Fanta & Coffee Q.. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ? A. Send it through courier. you will be a martyr.TopMasala. His leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications. nothing more Q. wait till you see more soldiers. called his boss: Sir.http://www. Banta pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest! Java Interview attended by our Banta Singh Q. Banta: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now? Boss: Wait for more. Get More fun stuff like this.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. What is JFC ? A. don't worry about your family. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Q.com/group/TopMasala/ . Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres. Banta: Sir. now I am in a midst of 150 soldiers. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface? A. we will look after. can I suicide now? Boss: Yes. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow? A. go ahead. can I suicide now? Leader: No.com The Suicide Bomber Banta joins the suicide bomber squad. Jilebi.yahoo. so when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp.. He lands up in the enemy's camp.topmasala. not for two. Terms are different . there are 2 enemies soldier.
Non living things can't communicate. Q.com/group/TopMasala/ . Q. I will give invitation.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process. Q. Q. File that can be kept inside a jar.com Q. I am a computer professional not an architect student. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Can I modify an object in CORBA? A. What is bean ? Where it can be used ? Get More fun stuff like this. I do not have any objections. Q. What is JAR file ? A. In hotels. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend. Q. Q.http://www.topmasala. As you wish . Q. What is the use of Servlets ? A. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads? A. What is JINI? A. Sorry. they can replace servers. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script? A.yahoo. How to communicate 2 threads each other ? A. Explain RMI Architecture? A.TopMasala.
Q.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. In kitchens for cooking they can be used. a binary tree will grow. 2nd says mine is very hot.Dumb & Dumber Santa & Banta doing what they do best! Santa: I have swallowed a key.com/group/TopMasala/ . 1st says my wife is very cold. Santa & Banta saw a poster at a Police station: Two White men wanted for Rape. When we sow a binary seed. join TopMasala @ http://groups.yahoo.com A. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Get More fun stuff like this. Three men discussing wives.http://www. Santa & Banta . Santa: I'm confused.topmasala. A kind of vegetable.TopMasala. Santa: These bloody goraas always get the best jobs!! Santa and Banta were watching bungee jumping. I was born because of broken rubber & I don't wanna die because of it. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ? A. Santa: Wanna try it? Banta: No way. I think shes is cold but people say she's hot. Some Santa and Banta Jokes Some Santa and Banta Jokes In UK.
Two days of power cuts in Delhi had made life miserable. A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. GUESS WOH KYA BOLA.http://www.. now I have lost it too Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? Banta: Very simple.M.. join TopMasala @ http://groups.yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai. 3) SARDAR.R.koi badi cheez bata 2ND .com | Fun Forum – http://forum.F ka tyre de de Get More fun stuff like this..Gold ring de de 1ST. because he is PM not AM.TopMasala. Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days.yahoo. IS MEIN AUR COLOUR DIKHAO 2) SARDAR: AAJ MAINE PAANI KO ULLU BANAYA 2ND SARDAR: wo kaise? 1ST SARDAR: aaj maine nahane k liye paani garm kiya aur thande se naha liya.com Santa: I was using duplicate key.topmasala.. kya dun ? 2ND. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators! Santa Banta jokes 1) Ek SARDAR INDIAN FLAG LENE SHOP PAR GAYA. Santa doesnâ€™t turns up for 4 days.. FLAG DEKHKAR SARDAR KUCH BOLA JISE SUNKAR SHOPKEEPER PARESHAN HO GAYA. I press the bell but no one comes out.com/group/TopMasala/ . Lady calls again.
.but Antâ€™s parents r against their marrigeâ€¦guess y?? Get More fun stuff like this..com/group/TopMasala/ .Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya 12) wht do u call a really colourful tamilian??? Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan 13) n elephant falls in luv wid n ant..topmasala... Shopkeeper: No.sita with ravan 11) what did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing? . Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio! 7) Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window? A: He wanted to see butterfly! what is the cube of 13? Its : SUROOR wandaring how? thats bcoz.com | Fun Forum – http://forum... TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR 9) ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi.. 6) Banta: you cheated me..TopMasala. join TopMasala @ http://groups.. santa writes "Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti.?? So.. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.. 10) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad? . 5) Lect: write a note on Gandhi jayanti..batao kyon? kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..http://www.use log hanuman bulate the.yahoo. I sold a good radio to you.....com 4) A donkey kicked sardar & ran away sardar ran to catch the donkey.
"OK. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?" The Sardar replied. February 2nd..com | Fun Forum – http://forum." DharamRaj lets him in without another word. DharamRaj said. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.yahoo. Name two days of the week that begin with "T". etc.topmasala. 15) Full form of MATHS???? Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Studentsâ€¦ 16) what wud u call a girl who never laughs?? Ans: hasina Sardars entry in the.. 2. Get More fun stuff like this. When he got to the pearly gate DharamRaj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.. even though it's not the answer I expected..TopMasala.http://www.com/group/TopMasala/ . "Well.. There are 12 seconds in a year. 1.March 2nd. January 2nd. How many seconds are in a year? The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered. join TopMasala @ http://groups.. 2. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions: 1. so your answer is correct..com they gave a solid reasonâ€¦**Ladke k dant bahar hai** 14)ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought. Sardars entry in the heaven A Sardar died and went to heaven.. I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow. â€¦â€¦kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda.
com/group/TopMasala/ . jor se baarish shuru ho gayi. Ek Sardarji apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki. Sardar r really innocent Once a Sadarji came home with his left forehead bleeding his wife asked him what had happened.. He replied "there was a nail in the window of the bus that pricked me each time the bus jerked". his wife said "then y didnâ€™t u exchanged your seat with some other passengers. Dost: Tu naya ghadi kyun nahin le leta? Sardar: kyun? ye abhi bhi kaam aata hai Dos : Kaise? Sardar: Yaar.http://www. join TopMasala @ http://groups. if you would have ran behind an auto.TopMasala.yahoo. that did not know about the nail! Sadarji replied "How can I exchange my seat when there were no other passengers in the bus other than me".. you could have saved Rs 30!!!.. Sardarji to son: You fool. din mein do baar to sahi time dikhata hai! Get More fun stuff like this.topmasala. badal garje. Ek Sardarji apni biwi ka. Intelligent Sardar Once this guy visits his Sardarji friend he notices that his wall clock is not working and it looks beyond repairs. Sardar bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai.com | Fun Forum – http://forum..com Son to sardarji: Son to sardarji: Today I ran behind the bus and saved Rs 3.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 Crores or else return my 20 Rs back. at the office canteen. Sardar wins 20 Crore from Rs 20 lottery ticket. because he is ill. Second prize winner got three month's supply of Cadbury's chocolates. but that doesn't mean Gurpreet and I get the day off! Toilet brush! Banta and his colleagues were at work one day when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought tickets. 'What on earth are you doing?' 'Well. About a week later.com Sardar wins 20 Crore from.topmasala.TopMasala.! Sardar's Planting. 'Tell me. Balwant plants the tree saplings and Gurpreet fills in the hole.' said the digger. "I love chocolates" "So do I.yahoo.a toilet brush. "Great. The following week." Banta said. the first prize winner asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes. when the raffle was drawn. they each won a prize. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again. join TopMasala @ http://groups.http://www. Today Balwant is off. seeing it was for charity. His colleague who won the first prize got six month's supply of Cadbury's chocolates. "And how's the toilet brush?" he asked Banta "Not so good. "I think I'll go back to paper." said the first prize winner..com/group/TopMasala/ . 'Usually there are three of us.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.. Dealer gave 11 Crore after deducting tax." said the the seond prize winner. Banta won the tenth prize . I dig the hole. Sardar's Planting Trees A passerby watched two sardarjis in a park." Get More fun stuff like this.' said the passerby.
you guys aren't going to believe this. but wherever it is. she snickered. In her annoying voice. snatched the bottle out of her hand and drank it down in a few quick gulps.topmasala. and there's a guy on a cycle ringing his bell and waving his arms trying to pass them!" Urine test! Banta had been in the hospital for days. he took his apple juice container and poured it into a urine specimen cup the nurse had insisted he fill. it must be bad cause all the people were leaving. a black Honda came up beside them and before you knew it the fellow driving the Maruti forgot all about Banta and his bicycle and took to drag racing the Honda. but there's a Honda and a Maruti racing out here on Highway 22. His friend said.TopMasala. Banta was handling the speed just fine.com/group/TopMasala/ . and repeatedly if I want you to slow down. if he could tie his bike to the bumper of his car to test his theory. Things were going pretty well. twice if I want you maintain speed. I'll run it through again and maybe it will come out clearer this time. Get More fun stuff like this. The nurse came in to check on him and looked at the specimen glass. saying." Banta put on his angry face. A little further down the road sat Officer Santa in his police cruiser.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Sardar : No. He asked his friend. "Sure. One day he thought he'd see just how fast a bicycle could go before it became uncontrollable.http://www. "Well. join TopMasala @ http://groups. off they went. all of sudden. "It seems we are a little cloudy today. who owned an old Maruti." Confused Sardar A policeman pulled the Sardarji over after he had been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. radar gun at the ready. One day during breakfast." With that. He heard the two cars before his radar flashed 100 kmph." So Banta tied his bike to the back of the car and said to his friend.yahoo.com Speeding!!! Banta was quite inventive and was always trying out new things. He called into headquarters on his radio. "I'll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go faster. But. with the car driver slowly speeding up to well over 60 kmph. "Hey. His nurse was extremely annoying and he couldn't take much more.
I sent my wife for honeymoon with my friend" Painter Sardar Dr. .TopMasala. .topmasala.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. It read.yahoo. join TopMasala @ http://groups. .com Kanjoos Sardar Newly married sardar to another newly married sardar "I am so kunjoos that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money". and left for his clinic. a psychotherapist.. . Maneesh Sinha Psycho the rapist" Incredible Sardars. "Dr. . He instructed the sardar to give ample space between the words. . Get More fun stuff like this. he was astonished at the sight of the name plate that was hung to his gate.http://www. Maneesh Sinha. . . .com/group/TopMasala/ . Other sardar said "You are nothing I saved my full money. has employeed a sardar painter to paint his name plate. On his return in the evening. .
TopMasala. Banta: Koi phayda nahin.topmasala. kauwa toh ud gaya! Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ? Santa meets his old friend.com/group/TopMasala/ .yahoo. Preeto gives tissue paper to him. A & B.http://www. Friend: Oye. it always said 'Switched Off'!" Banta: Nooo. A & B. Jeeto. A & B. Santa Banta Strikes Again Santa: I tried ur number so many times. iska matlab? Santa: Kuch nahin yaar. jithe marzi so jao! Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai. maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai. Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai. but is starts with "T". bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai. I mean long time no C. Santa: A & B. Banta: Y? Santa: Je speed breaker aa gaya taa peg dul jau.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.com Sardar : What is the name of your car ? Lady : I forgot the name. A & B. A crow shits on a Banta. Tea se start hoti hai. Santa: Drinking n driving dono nalo naal nai ho sakde. Hamaari gaadi petrol se start hoti hai. it's my HELLO TUNE! Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai. Get More fun stuff like this. jaldi bataao Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko.
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Phone ki ring baji. Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar pe nahin hoon. Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain. Santa: Maine mana kiya that... Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha!
Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya. Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.
Santa was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.' He wrote: I was made by a mistake. Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai. Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupye leti hai. Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs chahide si. Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse le aa.
Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai. Santa: Kaise? Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain' Sardars entry in the.. Sardars entry in the heaven A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate DharamRaj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
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1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T". 2. How many seconds are in a year? The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. DharamRaj said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...." DharamRaj lets him in without another word.
Safe cracker The local bank near a large prison had a problem opening their safe one day. Seems that the mechanisms working the combination failed, so they called the prison to seek help. The prison had a convicted safe cracker in custody. They released him under guard and took him to the bank to see if he could open their safe. The convict worked on the lock for quite a while but finally he was able to open the safe. The bank president was delighted to see his safe opened without having to have it ruined in the process, he turned to the safe cracker and said, "Thanks for helping us out here, how much do we owe you?" The safe cracker replied, "Well the last time I did one of these jobs I got about $100,000!" Laughing Zone A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. **************** Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet! Santa: Why don't u cook something else. **************** Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai. ****************
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Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day. Banta asked: What are you doing? Santa: Drying sweat! ****************
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole. Banta: R u ok? Santa: Yeah! Banta: Did u break anything? Santa: No, there's nothing down here **************** Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles. Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
Speed limit A traffic Policeman stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again." Affair with a dentist Preeto fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate encounters in the dental clinic after hours. But one day the dentist said sadly, "Preeto, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband's bound to get suspicious." "No way, sweetie, he's dumb as a post," she assured him. "Besides, we've been seeing each other for six months now and he doesn't suspect a thing." "True," agreed the dentist, "but you're down to one tooth!" Blind date! Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night." "Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma
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.topmasala. "Excuse me. sure thing."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!" Speech Impediment Santa and Banta were enjoying a few drinks down at the local bar. "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!" Santa in Chandigarh Santa was visiting Chandigarh for the first time. Unfortunately. "What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired Santa. Get More fun stuff like this. "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!" "Well. so he asked a police officer for directions." "Well. when Santa said to Banta. "fire away." said Santa.yahoo. it won't be long now." replied his friend. He wanted to see the Rock Garden." So that night. That was three hours ago. The officer got out of his car and said. "If I ask you a question. I said to wait here for the number 46 bus. he couldn't find it." He thanked the officer and the officer drove off.com attack. "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 46 bus. the supervisor approached Santa at the end of his first day. "Excuse me.com/group/TopMasala/ .TopMasala. Why are you still waiting?" Santa replied. Santa separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur.http://www. officer. Santa is still waiting at the same bus stop. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail.." replied Banta. sure enough." replied Banta. will you promise to answer me honestly?" "Yeah. but to get to the Rock Garden. join TopMasala @ http://groups. how do I get to the Rock Garden?" The officer replied. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: . Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and. officer. The 43rd bus just went by!" Fastest Worker Santa got a part time job at the Chandigarh Post Office.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. It'll take you right there. "Don't worry. Extremely pleased by this. "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?" "It's probably because of her speech impediment.
yahoo. Get More fun stuff like this. "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses. "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today." Explanation! Santa wired home that he had been able to wind up his business trip a day early and would be home on Wednesday." Last Night One day. he met his mother-in-law on the street. Sir" said Santa.com/group/TopMasala/ . he picked up his bag and stormed out." the supervisor said.com "I just want you to know. "That woman I call my wife and I got into a fight. in bed with another man. "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better." "Thank you.http://www. "Yeah. When he walked into his apartment. Santa walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.TopMasala. "But. Then he asks for another. however. After a couple more drinks. beaming. except today is the last night." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment." The bartender thought about this for a while. told her what had happened and announced that he was filing a suit for divorce in the morning. "Give my daughter a chance to explain before you do any thing. "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "What's the matter?" the bartender asks. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?" Santa replied. he found his wife. the bartender gets worried." the older women pleaded.topmasala. isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Jeeto. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had." explained Santa. Furious.
" Smartest Salesman Three salesmen were bragging who is the best. The first said. come on." "That's mighty nice of you. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "I feel a lot better now. he agreed. and added.topmasala. Santa's son." "Don't be foolish !" the farmer said with a smile. Pappu thanked his host. "But my father won't like it." "Aw. "By the way. "Well okay.com/group/TopMasala/ ." he finally agreed. "I knew my daughter would have an explanation. "but I don't think my father would like me to. The third said he sold a Cuckoo clock to Banta. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise." the farmer insisted. that he is so good he sold a color television to a blind man.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "She didn't receive your telegram!" Overturned wagon Pappu. The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man. An hour later.http://www. where is he?" "Under the wagon.com Reluctantly. "Forget your troubles. "Hey Pappu!!" the farmer yelled. but I know dad is going to be real upset. his mother-in-law phoned Santa at his office.TopMasala.yahoo. Then I'll help you get the wagon up." a note of truimph in her voice. Get More fun stuff like this." Pappu answered." After a hearty lunch. Come in with us. accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
"Well boys." "Easy for you to say." "Well. and I think you have a hernia. "My friend thinks you have a bad case of hemorrhoids. The two students introduced themselves to Santa and told him that they didn't agree with each others diagnosis of the his problem. I thought it was a fart. "It's not that. Banta?" Santa said. They spotted our Santa leaving a bar sort of "duck waddling" down the street at a slow pace." "You like her that much?" the friend asks.com The other two said. Get More fun stuff like this.yahoo. but it looks like we were all wrong!" The Ladies Man "I'm scared. Which of us is correct?" Santa replies. join TopMasala @ http://groups. They would then attempt to make the correct diagnosis. "I got a letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife. "Is that shit. I also sold him fifty kgs of bird seeds!!!!!" Medical Students Two young medical students were standing on a street corner observing people as they passed and discussing any abnormalities with each other that they may have seen in passers-by. "Along with the Cuckoo clock.topmasala.http://www.com | Fun Forum – http://forum." replied his friend.TopMasala. were walking along a dirt road one day when they came upon a pile of some brown stuff on the ground. Santa and Banta. so what? The third salesman added. One says. "He didn't sign his name!" The Right Step Two drunk. "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife." Banta said to one of his friends." declared Banta.com/group/TopMasala/ .
"Good thing we didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t step in it!" Politics Jokes Clinton one-liners Clinton and Gore: They have what it takes to take what you've got! "Carter is no longer the worst U.TopMasala. "it smells like shit. Voter: "The joke's over.topmasala. he replied. When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs." Santa leaned in and dipped his finger into the mysterious pile. join TopMasala @ http://groups. bring back Bush. Bill Clinton. President" "I am Clinton of Borg.S. for costing me my job. Bill Clinton is living proof why stupid people shouldn't vote.yahoo. buddy! I think it's definitely shit. Your incomes will be assimilated. I will repay you in 1996." Responded Banta as he bent over. "I don't know. I never had one. "It feels like shit!" Banta too dipped his finger into the mysterious pile and without hesitation shoved the finger in his mouth.http://www. it must have been a real stupid question! Clinton in 1996--NOT!! I'm not Fonda Clinton Rodhamhood: She steals from everyone to give to the government.com "I don't really know. Hey Hillary! Shut-up and redecorate! My other car was cancelled by the Clinton Tax Bill. "Sure tastes like shit.com/group/TopMasala/ ." Thank you." "Hooooeee!" Responded Santa. The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year. It's the spending stupid! If Clinton was the answer.com | Fun Forum – http://forum." Get More fun stuff like this." Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton.
. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time.. Some begin with 'After I'm elected.TopMasala.yahoo.http://www..I. what shutter speed would you use? Chelsea asked her dad.E.topmasala. or U Cat scan: Searching for a kitty Cauterize: Made eye contact with her Cesarean Section: Neighborhood in Rome Colic: A sheep dog Concussion: A prisoner's sofa Congenital: To be friendly D & C: Where the White House is Dilate: To live too long Get More fun stuff like this. "No.O..'" Clinton administration medical dictionary Acute: Opposite of an ugly Artery: The study of paintings Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria Barium: What doctors do to dead patients Benign: What you are after you're eight.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.com If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph.?" Bill Clinton replied.com/group/TopMasala/ . Bowel: Letter like A.
topmasala.TopMasala.com/group/TopMasala/ . join TopMasala @ http://groups. well known Jaundice: To include in a group Kinesthetics: Relationships among relatives Labor pain: Getting hurt at work Leper: A wild cat Malaria: Shopping place Medical staff: A doctor's cane Morbid: A higher bid Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates Node: Was aware of Outpatient: A person who fainted Pelvis: A cousin of Elvis Post-operative: A letter carrier Get More fun stuff like this.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.com Enema: Not a friend Fester: Quicker Fibula: A small lie GI series: A soldier ball game Hangnail: A coat hook Impotent: Distinguished.yahoo.http://www.
They took a $10 bill.com/group/TopMasala/ . a Bible and a bottle of whiskey. and put them on the front hall table. pretending they were not at home. Then they hid.com Recovery room: A place used for upholstery work. so they decided to do a small test. but if he took the bottle of whiskey. The parents were a little worried. he would be a drunk. Get More fun stuff like this.http://www. join TopMasala @ http://groups. if he took the Bible. he would be a businessman.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.yahoo. Rectum: It almost killed him Rheumatic: Amorous Secretion: Hiding something Seizure: A Roman emperor Serology: Study of English Knighthood Tablet: A small table Terminal illness: Getting sick at the airport Tumor: More than one Urine: Opposite of you're out Varicose: Nearby Vein: Conceited The Career Choice An older couple had a son who was still living with them. he would be a priest. as the son has no career plans.topmasala. The test was this: If the son took the money.TopMasala.
why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third. 'Steve' 'And what is your question. why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. "Darn. they saw their son arrive and read the note they had left him. why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third. First. it's even worse than I could ever have imagined.yahoo. When they resume George says. where were we? Oh that's right question time. join TopMasala @ http://groups.com So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. After that. Our son is going to be a politician!" No Answers to such Questions George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. "OK.topmasala.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.http://www. flicked through it. Billy? 'I have 3 questions. George points him out and asks him what his name is. First. why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second. whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth. One little boy puts up his hand andGeorge asks him what his name is. Who has a question?" Another little boy puts up his hand. whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?' Just then the bell rings for recess. Steve?' 'I have 5 questions. Peeping through the keyhole. he took the Bible. and slid it in his pocket. Then he left for his room. and took it. he took the $10 bill. The father slapped his forehead and said. After his talk he offers question time.com/group/TopMasala/ . Finally he grabbed the bottle.TopMasala. opened it. and took an appreciative whiff to check the quality. carrying all three items.' 'And what is your question. 'Billy. Then. what the f**k happened to Billy?' Get More fun stuff like this. looked at it against the light. why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth.
topmasala. racked up three accidents on his second day on a new job as a new cab driver. and my feet just slipped from the brake to the accelerator. I'd like to meet him. The first man to arrive was a stranger. It all started at 9 a. These guns are so safe? Robert Shovestall. "I know. "You misunderstood my announcement. When police showed up and began converging on his cab. when he placed a .TopMasala. he rammed into a parked car." Rhaman said. He got nervous.http://www. join TopMasala @ http://groups. he even called police to report the accident." said the minister. 36. An hour later.yahoo. Cops said he was leaving the scene.m. when the light changed and that cars started to honk while he waited for pedestrians to clear the crosswalk. That`s when he struck a 22-year-old man from New Jersey. Rahman said he paused for a light.com A Meeting With the Board A Meeting With the Board After a long. "If there is anyone here more bored than I am. the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board after the service. Get More fun stuff like this. Rahman said the car rammed into his cab. Rahman ran into another car. CA. dry sermon." said the man. but he said he was only trying to park his taxi so it wouldn`t block traffic.com/group/TopMasala/ . This is a meeting of the board.Mohammad Rahman. when. cops say. Rahman is looking for another line of work.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. shot himself while explaining gun safety to his wife in Glendale. Brooklyn. Playing safe! New York City .45-caliber pistol he thought was unloaded under his chin and pulled the trigger. Shovestall`s wife told police that the incident occurred after her complaints about her husband`s 70 guns prompted him to demonstrate to her they were safe. 37. though. "I got confused.
David Blaine.com/group/TopMasala/ . Get More fun stuff like this. but an official looking death certificate sent to authorities said he had died in a Los Angeles auto crash. In 1994. A year later. 1995. He would have to remain standing in the block in which his contour was shaped surviving only with a tube to suck water and oxygen. There is no such disease. Progeny! Singe Soren. Cool way to conquer fear ! Fan of Titanic star Leonardo DiCaprio.http://www. He faced several threats. This was the toughest challenge for Blaine.yahoo. Passerby in New York called him crazy to risk his life. which include frostbite and the possibility of falling asleep and touching the ice wall.e. Peter C. Gentry was first arrested in 1991. and the case was dismissed. it amounts to disqualification of Municipal Councilors and Panchayat members who produce a third child. According to the Law which came into effect on December 31. two and a half-day.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. he was arrested again and sent in another death certificate. Progeny sometimes spoils the political careers. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Now he encased himself in a six-tonne block of ice and hoped to come out unscathed 58 hours later i.TopMasala.com A dead man in jail! A man was sentenced last week to two years in prison for faking his death three times to beat drunk driving charges.topmasala. Gentry was again arrested and supposedly died this time of "denzor hemorrhagic fever" in Africa. the Woman Sarpanch(Village head) of Badapalasa was unseated because she gave birth to her third child. last year buried himself underwater in a plexiglass coffin for a week and survived. and it just took the petition in Mayurbhanj district court to remove Singe from her Sarpanch seat.
Goa (India)) urinated in the office of the sanitary inspector in Margao in protest against dirty public toilets." Sawant said. The municipality was not cleaning them. Newpaper reports state that Hien could be prosecuted on charge of ill-treating the child. forced her 10-year-old stepson to stitch up his moutha as punishment for stealing 200 dong (1. A woman has to protect her self respect. Sow Cruel!! A 31-year-old Vietnamese woman. which can weigh 1. calling for more toilets in busy areas so that woman did not face hardships. No luck with a tow truck Get More fun stuff like this. in his absence." said the man`s lawyer. Incedentally.com To protect self respect!! An educated woman from Margao city (Panaji. The 27-year-old man apparently rocked the machine. to make him realize that public toilets were overflowing. The father decided to sue after learning that his son`s death was not an isolated incident.TopMasala. pinning him against a wall and crushing his chest. though complaints were made to the authorities earlier. Some welcomed the step because they felt that this was one of the ways to answer male-dominated society and politics. at least 37 deaths and 113 injuries resulted from falling vending machines. Even the Goa Pradesh Congress President Nirmala Sawant appreciated what the woman did to attract the attention of authorities on the eve of the International Women`s Day on Thursday.yahoo.000 pounds. She said she urinated in his chamber.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.com/group/TopMasala/ .3 cents). she has not been arrested since she has a younger child to take care of. which fell. The incident sparked off reaction amongst women in the state. Dying for a soda ?? A man whose son was crushed to death by a soda vending machine has filed a $500.000 wrongful-death lawsuit against the company that manufactured the machine. while she stood watch over him. The US Consumer Product Safety Commission found that between 1978 and 1995.topmasala. "The penalty for jiggling a machine to get a quarter out or a free Coke shouldn`t be death.http://www. The boy was beaten severly and given a needle and thread by his stepmother and was forced to sew his lips together. Phan Thi Hien. join TopMasala @ http://groups.
. turned to his co-worker and said.m. the frightened and crying boy pushed out the screen of an open window. and that they`re baffled why he wasn`t knocked unconscious. He remained conscious. and the nail went in so deep that the only thing visible was a small hole in Bogumill`s scalp. But now you give me a piece of paper and multiplying 56 by 23 is still difficult. Philadelphia.com/group/TopMasala/ .topmasala.yahoo. 49. "That next split-second. "it felt like somebody was smacking my head repeatedly with a hammer. was left home alone last week." Illegal aliens and transients sleep on the tracks because they think snakes won`t get them there. "You just nailed me in the head." Doctors told Bogumill that he shouldn`t have been able to walk or talk after the accident. a construction worker in Eau Claire." Bogumill recalled. it worked !! Norias. A co-worker accidentally bumped his head with the gun. After hitting the ground Lateef walking around. "The train crew saw some debris on the tracks. Wis. wound up in a hospital in critical condition with multiple injuries. a spokeswoman for the Border Patrol. The boy was left home alone due to a miscommunication between the parents. was shot with a nail gun that drove a 3 1/4 inch nail all the way into his skull. Get More fun stuff like this. He said. Philadelphia. and the only difference he can see is that he`s not quite the math whiz he used to be.http://www. It finally stopped when it hit another tow truck.com It started out as just a simple fender-bender but a couple of hours later the driver. Lateef was later released from a local hospital with just a minor larceration. who suffered minor injuries. Then he fell from the apartment. Sebastian stood in a grassy area near the location of the minor accident and watched as her car was hooked to the flatbed of a tow truck. The nail lodged in an area of the brain typically involved in processing math according to Dr. John Lamoureux. join TopMasala @ http://groups.. bounced off an air conditioner protruding from a second floor window and landed on a narrow amazingly got up. Bouncing baby boy 3-year-old Lateef Wise." said Letty Garza. PA. Chinnamma Sebastian. when suddenly the 1988 Mercedes went into reverse and rolled off.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. began to cry and started strip of grass.Six men believed to be illegal aliens from Mexico were killed by a freight train while sleeping on the tracks. Well. "You could give me two two digit numbers and I could multiply them within seconds in my head. PA. Texas ." Bogumill said. they saw heads raise up and then six people were killed instantly. The car ran over her and hit the tow truck driver.TopMasala. Like a hole in the head !! Travis Bogumill. At about 9:30 a.
com Give em a hand! A team of Latvian doctors claimed a new world record after reattaching four severed hands in just five days. 27. and a tons of money. The fourth. who was impregnated by artificial insemination. lost power for 30 minutes this spring when a branch blew off a tree and hit a Pacific Gas & Electric power line.com/group/TopMasala/ . "My God. Bush's driver and I just killed the pig. I just killed the pig. what did you tell them?" The driver replied. CA. but he hit him. Powerful coincidence! Almost all of Nevada City. join TopMasala @ http://groups. A pig jumped out in the road suddenly. Bush saw this and said. He came out with a beer." Holy tooth! Batman! Singing hymns and praying for peace and luck. Vecchione. He went in the farm to explain what had happened.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.yahoo. According to the Baltic News Service. George W. CA.topmasala. The driver tried to get out of the way. had her hand severed by a dough machine. said her husband became a man through sexchange operations more than 20 years ago. three of the patients had their hands cut off by saws while chopping down trees. Bush and his driver were going to Air Force One and were passing a farm. a cigar.http://www. "I told them that I'm George W. wants sole custody of her daughter on claims that same-sex marraiges are not recognized in the state of California. The Grass Valley Union newspaper reported the outage delayed the trial of PG&E for failing to trim vegetation around power lines as required by the state. took an unusual turn when the mother of a 3-year-old girl claimed the girl`s father is actually a woman. Kristie Vecchione.TopMasala. a woman. Get More fun stuff like this. The mommies! A custody battle in Santa Ana. The agency noted doctors normally reattach only two or three hands a year. thousands of Buddhists greeted a holy tooth believed to have belonged to Buddha when it arrived in Taiwan.
" "Why is he smiling then?` inquires the Inspector. thinks the Inspector. and clerk Karen Laverne Shivers. was 70. hence the smile." says the medical examiner. Hence the enormous smile. arranged to sell crack. Inspector. 60. "He thought he was having his picture taken. died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress.topmasala. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body. Dozens of women prostated themselves and spread their long hair over a red carpet. "This is the most unusual one. The Detective Inspector is taken to the second dead man.com | Fun Forum – http://forum." "Nothing unusual here".TopMasala.Last Monday FBI agents busted a $1. were arrested at their apartment Monday. Buddhists say the tooth brings blessings for those who live where it is housed and keeps them from disaster. The medical examiner calls the police to show them what has happened.http://www.000-a-day cocaine ring being run out of City Hall. Others knelt in rows. To which the medical officer replies. Close to home! GARY. encased in a miniature golden pagoda. 41. Agents seized 5 ounces of cocaine. all with very big smiles on their faces. 65 years of age. clasping their hands in front to express their reverence.com Monks in saffron robes escorted the tooth. "He was a BJP leader. speaking on a City Hall phone. "He was a minister from ruling Congress party. 46." Get More fun stuff like this.000. Died of alcohol poisoning.yahoo. and spent it all on whiskey. struck by lightning. Federal agents said they taped three telephone conversations in which Harris. Programer Arthur Harris." says the medical examiner. "Ah. off a flight from India. join TopMasala @ http://groups. allegedly by the city`s chief computer programer and its payroll clerk. made a pile from government funds. Say Cheese Three dead bodies of Indian politicians turn up at the mortuary. 6 ounces of crack and $6. MP from Bihar. and asks to be shown the last body.com/group/TopMasala/ . Indiana .
"How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?" The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window.com Laloo`s Threat A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward. "Can you see the bridge over it?" The senator looked. grounds and the costly furnishings.topmasala. He is refusing to move from there!" "But why?" "He has lost the elections and will now surely be convicted for corruption and will have to pay lakhs of Rupess as fines! He is threatening to douse himself with kerosene and set himself on fire if people didn`t contribute with money to help him pay the fine!" "So how much has been collected so far?" "Six litres!" Indian politician An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. I don't see any bridge.TopMasala.com | Fun Forum – http://forum." "100 percent". the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion. A motorist shouted out wanting to know what was happening." he asked. he had occasion to pay a return visit. "Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road. said the senator smugly.yahoo. said the minister.http://www. Some time later. "No. The minister called him to the window. When the senator invited him home for dinner. He asked. join TopMasala @ http://groups. A guy from the front replied. "See the river over there?" "Sure". "10 percent". When they came to his house. glittering with precious art. was confused. peered closely and said.the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built. on a salary in Indian Rupees. "Can you see the river?" "Yes" "Can you see the bridge over it?" "Of course". said the minister !! Get More fun stuff like this.com/group/TopMasala/ . The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. cried the senator. "How can you possibly afford this. hundreds of servants etc etc.
The people became thirsty and needed water.. "No. and prairies. "I like to see accountants on my operating table.yahoo.topmasala. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his cane and at the sight of that mountain a pond appeared with crystal clean." Get More fun stuff like this. "You're all wrong." The fourth surgeon chimes in.. "This is a travesty. I like construction workers. and even more deserts. When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt he had to go through deserts. Politicians are the easiest to operate on." The second responds. no heart.TopMasala. because when you open them up. There's no guts.those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.." The third surgeon says. I wanted to relay an old story to all of you. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "Yeah. Only when Moses came out of the water he discovered that all his clothes had been stolen." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed. but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded. And the people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content.. "let me begin my speech.. and the head and butt are interchangeable." UN meeting At the emergency meeting of the UN regarding another conflict in the Middle East.." Yassir Arafat.. cool water. "Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech. I really think librarians are the best. the floor has been given to the Israeli Consul.. jumps out of his seat and screams.It's a lie ! It is widely known that there were no Palestinians there at the time!!!" "And in agreement with Chairman Arafat.com Best patient Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.http://www. took all of his clothes off and dove into the cool waters. "You know. so he went over to the other side of the pond. The Israeli Consul began. Moses wished to cleanse his whole body. everything inside them is in alphabetical order.. And I have reasons to believe that the Palestinians stole his clothes. hearing this accusation." said the Israeli Consul..com/group/TopMasala/ . everything inside is numbered...com | Fun Forum – http://forum. and when the job takes longer than you said it would. The first surgeon says. and no spine.
looking in. 1. 2. 12. and as he makes his way to the counter. Employees tell management what they think. and says to the bartender. "I bet you $1.com Bar Jokes: Reasons to allow drinking at work The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. The man walks up to the counter. It leads to more honest communications. 8. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol. It makes fellow employees look better. A bet made at the local bar A man walks into a bar. and not get any outside the glass. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 7. 4. Finally. 13. It reduces complaints about low pay.com/group/TopMasala/ . Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable. If something does something stupid on the job. 10. 14. he stops and talks to everyone in the bar.topmasala. the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender.000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away.yahoo. join TopMasala @ http://groups. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. It encourages carpooling.http://www. 15.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. 5. If you use them wisely. they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window. It reduces stress. 11. 6." Get More fun stuff like this. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. It's an incentive to show up.TopMasala. it will be quickly forgotten. 3. 9. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. As he finishes with each group of people. not what management wants to hear.
When he finishes. The customs of an Irishman An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin. but he wants his $1. but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead. I guess you owe me $1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.000. orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room. 3. and the contest begins. huh?" The man answers. you see. I have two brothers. really big guy named Psycho Bob. 5.com/group/TopMasala/ . join TopMasala @ http://groups.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.TopMasala. it would taste better if you bought one at a time. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.topmasala.yahoo. 6. The man sprays beer all over the bar.http://www. paces off thirty feet. handsomer and smarter than some really. he comes back to the bar and orders three more.com The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase. drinking a sip out of each one in turn. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him. The bartender gets out a shot glass. a pint goes flat after I draw it. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you 4. "Yeah. 7. One is in America. "You know. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. "Well." Newly issued alcohol warnings The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. When he finishes them. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher. so he agrees. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. the other in Get More fun stuff like this." The Irishman replies. The bartender asks him. 2. "Well. the bartender looks at him and says.000. 1.
returning to his paper. no. After a few minutes." the drunk muttered." The bartender hastily asks. and I'm here in Dublin. too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man. "I'm very sorry. "Oh. "What'll it be buddy?" The man says. wicked women. How long did you have arthritis?" "I don't have it father. and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. The priest. then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. the bartender says." he says.com/group/TopMasala/ . "Everyone's fine. being with cheap. "What do you have pal?" Get More fun stuff like this. The man's tie was stained. nudged the man and apologized. what causes arthritis?" "Mister. join TopMasala @ http://groups. and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn." He is a very fast drinker A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. he comes in and orders two pints. his face was plastered with red lipstick.topmasala." "Well I'll be. it's caused by loose living. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. then the next. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar." What causes people to have arthritis? A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest.http://www. and leaves it there. "I don't want to intrude on your grief. father. but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss. The bartender looks at him and says.com Australia. Staring in disbelief. One day.com | Fun Forum – http://forum." The Irishman looks confused for a moment. the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked. "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.yahoo. then the next.TopMasala. He opened his newspaper and began reading. I was just reading here that the Pope does. and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. When he comes back to the bar for the second round." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom. we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. I didn't mean to come on so strong. When we all left home. thinking about what he had said. the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. "You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have. I've just quit drinking. "Say.
sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you.com/group/TopMasala/ . "I have a dollar.http://www.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so.TopMasala. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now John gets pretty annoyed about this. drinking by himself.yahoo. so John goes inside to the bar." "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink .topmasala. then no one will ever know. a Nun.com The man quickly replies. enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself. and a triple vodka on the rocks". then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?" "Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?" I didn't get any money this time A man in a bar sees a friend at a table." The Nun reluctantly agrees. Get More fun stuff like this.if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "How do you know this. and goes on the offensive." A nun arrives at the local bar John was sitting outside his local pub one day. when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "Another pint for me.
leaving me $90.000. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August.yahoo." "Then this month." continued. "Then in September. "You look terrible.TopMasala.com Approaching the friend he comments.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "absolutely nothing!" Arriving home very drunk Arriving home very drunk A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes." "Gee." he said. "My father died. the friend. but where's his wheel chair?" Looking to buy a frog? Looking to buy a frog? Get More fun stuff like this. "and left me $25. join TopMasala @ http://groups." The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. Two parents gone in two months. that's tough." he replied." the friend continued." "And last month my aunt died. He is obviously drunk.000. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man." "Wow. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home. No wonder you're depressed.http://www.000.com/group/TopMasala/ ." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. and left me $15.topmasala. The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me.
without pausing. "No. They jumped in the car. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. The man finally agrees. he asked the bartender. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog. "That frog could have been worth millions to you.00 cash up front. cracks his knuckles. if you had what I have. this time to $500. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. After the man finished his drink. who begins to sing along with the rat's music.topmasala. still drinking one beer after the other.http://www. cracks his knuckles. "he's not for sale. While the man is enjoying his beverages. "he's not for sale. "you seem to be in a hurry. finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. "Whew. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. "The frog was really nothing special." the man replies. join TopMasala @ http://groups. will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees.000. orders four expensive thirty-year.000!" "Don't worry about it. started it up and headed down the road." "What do you have?" the bartender sympathetically asks." "You would be.yahoo. will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it." A real hurry! A guy rushes into a bar." The stranger increases the offer to $250. laughing and.00 cash. too. The rat stretches. You see. and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money. and proceeds to play the blues. The ghost? There was this party in the woods and all of a sudden there was a down pour of thunder and rain. the rat's a ventriloquist.00 for the bullfrog. of course.com A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender. and proceeds to play the blues.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. he downs each one." the man answered. "Sorry. and you let him go for a mere $500. The rat stretches.old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him.com/group/TopMasala/ . a stranger confronts him and offers him $100." he insists. "Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. then agrees.TopMasala. "eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There`s an old guy`s face there!" (Was this a Get More fun stuff like this. Then." the bartender remarks." The stranger again increases the offer. thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. these two young guys ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain. All of a sudden an old man`s face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly on the window! The passenger screamed out. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.000. "If I show you an even better trick.000. "If I show you a really good trick.
looked at the driver and said. "STEP ON IT!" They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer. along with a note "I spit in this beer" hoping that none will steal it then. trying to forget what they had just seen and heard. "You want some help getting out of the mud? Exchanging notes! A guy walks in a bar. the passenger yells. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaa. "Well see what he wants now!" yells back the driver.com/group/TopMasala/ . Now going about 80 miles an hour. "What do you think of that?" The driver says. So he sets it on a table. join TopMasala @ http://groups. there he is again!". "you have any tobacco?" The passenger. The driver throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window and yells. Then he sees someone he knows. when all of a sudden again there is more knocking! "Oh my God! HE`S BACK!" He rolls down the window and screams out.com ghost?!?!?!?) This old man kept knocking. and buys a huge beer. "WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?" in stark terror. "I don`t know? How could that be? I am going pretty fast?" Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock on the window and there is the old man again. and decides to go and say hi to them.topmasala. So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells "Step on it!!!" rolling up the window in terror. he sees another note saying "Me too!" Get More fun stuff like this.yahoo. scared out of his wits. "What do you want???" The old man softly replied.TopMasala. and the passenger says. The old man gently replies. so the driver said "well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!" So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said. Upon return. but he does not want to drag his beer mug with him.http://www. He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says "Yes?" "Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks. "He wants tobacco!" "Well offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies. they calm down and they start laughing again.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. terrified.
http://www. why don`t you go somewhere and clean yourself up?" The drunk says. if you guys aren`t drinking beer. After awhile.com Not finished yet ! A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. the man replies." Best friend A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern." The bartender gives him one. all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.. a Corona.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask. give me `The King Of Beers`. "what are you doing? I`ve known you for over fifteen years. "I`d like the best beer in the world. "`Cos I`m not finished yet." The woman says. smiles. "Give me a Coke. "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp. and I`ve never seen you take a drink before. I would like the world`s best beer." says the other man. What`s going on?" Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass.com/group/TopMasala/ . I have indeed shit myself. The guy from Guinness sits down and says.. "I`m your best friend!" The man turns to his friend. "Lou. "I`d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water.TopMasala. "Why aren`t you drinking a Guinness?" The Guinness president replies." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. but did you just shit yourself?" The drunk replied. the woman starts to smell this horrible odor coming from the direction of the drunk. and then slurs.topmasala." says the shocked friend. furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. The guy from Corona sits down and says. "But. "Excuse me Mister. but gives him what he ordered. "Yes ma`am.yahoo. in London. She turns to him and says." He gets it." The bartender is a little taken aback. The guy from Budweiser says. "Well. "Not anymore! He is!" Embarrasing ! Get More fun stuff like this. The guy from Coors says. give me a Coors. join TopMasala @ http://groups. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him." The best beer After the Great Britain Beer Festival. looks at him through bloodshot eyes. "Hey SeÃƒÂ±or. a Budweiser. "Well. neither will I.
the woman walks over to him and apologizes. "I`m 93. he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. Naturally.topmasala. that`s really remarkable!" said the reporter. Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so" "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don`t be ridiculous . "I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell us your secret to long life. "How do *you* know. a Nun.yahoo. "What do you mean Rs 1000?" Secret of long life Three old men were sitting on a bench in a park when a reporter approached them. She smiles at him and says. the shy guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. The second man was asked the same question on his secret to long life. After an hour of gathering up his courage. I drank until I passed out and I smoked three packs of cigarettes a day." the reporter asked. and goes on the offensive." replied the man. "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling. I smoked. Finally. You see.http://www.TopMasala." To which he responds. them no-one will know" Get More fun stuff like this." "And how old are you?" asked the reporter. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "I`m sorry if I embarrassed you." said the man. "I dated every woman that would go out with me. at the top of his lungs.com A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. "And how old are you?" "29. "I never drank alcohol. sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I`ll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you. I never smoked tobacco and I have been married to the same woman for fifty years. enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself. the reporter approached the third old man and asked his secret to a long life." "Wow!" said the reporter. at the top of her lungs. "No. I`m a journalist and I`ve got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations. After a few minutes. "And how old are you?" he asked the first old man.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "I`m 91." said the old man.if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I.com/group/TopMasala/ . The first old man was asked his secret to his long life. Drunken nun ! John was sitting outside his local pub one day. but not often and I dated some. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now John gets pretty annoyed about this. "I drank on occasion." "Wow. The three old men agreed. I won`t sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink .
exclaimed the father.. they were somewhat shocked to see the bride's father storm up the aisle.. we found the keg of beer. and some bastard fucked the bride!". A few minutes later. well. the guests repaired to the parking lot. "I`ll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there. joining the other farmers. "Oh.topmasala. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar.yahoo. You remember that mine that caved in. jacket off. "Another pint for me. "The weddin's off. One guest. is it?" Mine disaster There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. and obviously very angry.. uh. "Someone stole a keg (barrel) of beer. "What's the problem?" he asked. "All right! Everyone back inside! The weddin's on again!" As the farmers filed back into the church. What is that all about?" The engineer responded: "Oh. join TopMasala @ http://groups.TopMasala. and could you put the vodka in a teacup?" "Oh no! It`s not that drunken Nun again." "Well. "Everybody bugger off!" Dismayed and muttering. the friend again approached the father of the bride. and asked.. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole.. the father reappeared and yelled. When the last of us were escaping.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "What happened to make you change your mind?" Grinning sheepishly. The guest.. I wouldn`t be here.. we. and approached him." Australian marriage All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. well I was in that mine and so was that guy. grumbling about their missed opportunity for free beer. he replied. "Hey bartender" said the Engineer." Get More fun stuff like this. held back. then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "." The bartender responded. and rendered speechless. look at the top of his head and you`ll see that it`s flat from holding the roof up. he held the roof of the mine up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don`t believe me.that`s where we put the jack. you`d better because if it weren`t for that guy. and a triple vodka on the rocks". taken aback. "I`m sorry sir but that guy`s a communist and we don`t serve his kind around here. Waiting for things to get started..com/group/TopMasala/ . sleeves rolled up.http://www." The bartender skeptically served the communist his beer and then came back to talk to the Engineer: "I saw the flat spot on his head but I also couldn`t help noticing the bruising under his chin.com The Nun reluctantly agrees. a friend of the bride's father." he shouted. left the church. so John goes inside to the bar.
eeverything else in tthis ppplace wwas so hhhigh. and he did. serves him a beer and says. "For the grace of God.yahoo." said the armless man. "Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked. drinks his whiskey and." The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer. walks into a Bar. "No. are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "Now. but that's our price. "If. The Minister turns. The guy pays him. "Yes. Disgusted. have you found Jesus?" "No. but that's our price. you'll find the money for the beer.would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?" "Sure"." "Certainly. "Yes sir. "Oh ttthat's OK.http://www. "That will be Rs 300 please!". I ttthougt it wwas yyour Bbbutt!" Men's room! A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer." said the customer.com/group/TopMasala/ . He then says.TopMasala. "Are you sure this is where he fell in?" Too high! This guy who stutters badly." The bartender got it. "Sssay! Bbbartender. The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him. and says. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and stands next to the Minister. "Oh that's OK! I want to thank you for not making fun of my Humpback while you were in here. before leaving he says. gggimme a bbbeer"." The Guy says. "I wonder if you'd be so kind as to get my handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth. gggimme a wwhiskey ppplease!" The Bartender serves him a shot of whiskey and says. Get More fun stuff like this. that's what we get!". "Bbbartender tthanks for nnot mmmaking fffun of my ssstuttering wwwhile I wwas in hhhere!" The Bartender replied. "I have no arms . "Ddddamn! Ttthat's hhhigh!" The Bartender says. The guy says. have you found Jesus yet?!" The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads. who is badly Humpbacked. "That will be Rs 200 please!" The Guy thinks that's pretty high priced and says. I did not!" said the drunk again. I didn't!" said the drunk.com Finding Jesus! A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon down by the river. that's what we get!". I am. "Yes. "Ssay! Bbbartender." And it was done. the Minister holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time. "Now brother. "Mister. "Look. The Bartender.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. brings him up and demands. "you'd reach in my right hand pants pocket. The guy pays him and drinks it down." said the customer. notices the old drunk and says. brings him up and says.topmasala. said the bartender. "Ddddamn! Ttthat's hhhigh!" The Bartender says.
the friend said. when you take this parcel of meat home. and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!" Judgement There were three men at a bar.000. What's wrong?" "My mother died in May and left me 25. "turn left.topmasala. drinking by himself. "I've been counting too.00. "I'll be 16 tomorrow. "Son. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "Last month my aunt died and left me 10. "You look awful. he commented. "That's a lot to deal with. that it is the last free meat she'll get. The next day the man went before the judge. tell your mother. Continuing." "I know. is terrible!" replied the man. "Then this month.000. Where is the men's room?" "Out the door. came into the shop and said." the friend added.000." Inheritance! A man walked into the bar and saw an old friend of his.com "You've been very kind. with a baby in her arms.00." "Gosh. The woman nodded and said." said the bartender.http://www." the friend answered." said the customer.00. Losing three close family members in three months. She agreed. "nothing! Not even a single rupee!" Free Meat It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman." the man replied. He had been counting the years off on his calendar. who had been collecting the meat each week." said the man. and there's one in a filling station on the corner. go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread." said the butcher with a smile.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "Boy. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail. entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. both parents gone in such a short period of time? No wonder you're depressed. "Just one thing more. Get More fun stuff like this.TopMasala. "Then in June. my dad died leaving me 50." continued the friend. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men.yahoo. walk two blocks. free milk. Approaching his friend." When the boy arrived home he told his mother. and watch the expression on her face. and one day the teenager.com/group/TopMasala/ . that's tough.
topmasala." The judge then said. you've been out drinking again!!" "How did you know?" he asks. "Here and there. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "This and that.com | Fun Forum – http://forum." The judge asked the man. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face.com The judge asked the man. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. "Wait. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. "Sooner or later.http://www." Big Booze An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking beer. "Take him away. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. "Where do you work?" The man said. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So. "What do you do for a living?" The man said. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.TopMasala.com/group/TopMasala/ . When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face." The man said.yahoo. judge when will I get out?" The judge said to the man. Get More fun stuff like this.
The waitress says. "Oh No.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "Why do you get three different drinks? It would be a lot easier for me to mix them. The guy says that he just ordered a small glass of beer. The guy says that he only ordered a small steak." Irishman in the Bar An Irishmen walked into a bar and ordered three different drinks in three different glasses." The Irishmen looked at him funny and said. "Son. sat down. it is this huge 40 oz. I fell in the damn toilet!" Heavy Drinker Get More fun stuff like this. "Oh man.com/group/TopMasala/ ." The Irishman said. When the bartender comes with the drink it was the size of a a keg.http://www.com "The pub called. "When my two brothers moved away we all promised that every day we would drink each others favourite drink." Extra Large A guy walks into a Texas bar and orders a small glass beer.TopMasala. He returns to the bar soaking wet." So the Irishmen did this for a number of years. When he was finished he went up to get three more. But one day he walked in and only ordered two drinks. everything is big in Texas. When the waitress brings it to him. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "What in Hell happened to you?" asks the barkeep." Then he ordered a small steak. "That is a small glass of beer. "I am so sorry about your brother. and began to drink each drink one at a time. everybody's all right it's just that I stopped drinking. He walked to a table.yahoo.topmasala. After eating he asks where the bathroom is and is told to take the third door on the right. The Bartender said. Bartender says." The bartender said. you left your wheelchair there again. son. he enters the third door on the left and falls into a pool. "That's very cool. Everybody looked up and bowed their head. When the Irishmen walked up to the bartender the bartender said. By now he is a bit smashed and though he carefully counts the doors. Everything in Texas is big. piece of meat.
rum. "Let's try whiskey first. are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says. beer. "AB CHADHI ISKO!!!" The Old Drunk A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. Bartender was shocked. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. So he changed his get-up and went to a bar in Chandigarh and asked the bartender. Bartender. who are you???" Lord Shiva. After having fourty bottles of beer.. vodka. "Mister. gin. and you've almost had fifty bottles and you are still on your feet. Shiva decided to have beer. after having five bottles of whisky and he is still on his feet." Bartender. he asked the bartender for Gin. Get More fun stuff like this.com One day Lord shiva decided to visit the earth and try some alcohol." After having five bottles of Rum.com/group/TopMasala/ ... The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says. I ssssure am. "Who is this man.. "We have whiskey. Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him. "What all do you have". Preasher. "Sir.topmasala. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked." The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. who are you?? I ve seen people getting drunk after having four glasses of whiseky.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Lord shiva decided to try Rum. Hum Bhagwaan Shiv hain. "Nooo. "Yess. give me five bottles of whiskey. "Vats." Lord Shiva.TopMasala.http://www." After having five bottles of whiskey. I ddddidnt!" said the drunk.yahoo. join TopMasala @ http://groups.
"Superman. why not?" So he goes out to the balcony. How do you do it?" "Well. "Now. you can be a complete as*hole when you are drunk" No More Peas There was a businessman. have you found Jesus yet?" The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher." The guy.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. I dddid not Reverrrrend. "My God man. It's lot of fun. and seconds laterhe has splatted straight onto the ground. And yet. This one guy watched this happen a number of times until curiosity got the better of him.TopMasala.http://www. You should try it. then walk out to the balcony and jump off. Get More fun stuff like this. a man was drinking heavily. and he was feeling really crook. He would ask the bartender for a tequila shot. brother. thought to himself. you're back again. there was a bar. "Hey. have you found Jesus?" "Noooo. "Hey.com The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer." The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time. In this bar. "the shot of tequila provides buoyancy such that when I get near the ground. brings him up and says.com/group/TopMasala/ . who was also quite drunk. I slow down and land gently. you keep drinking. brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone. and he went to see the Doctor about it. Finally he went up to the man and asked.topmasala. minutes later. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "Are you sssssure thhhis is where he fffffelll in?" Drunk Superman On the top of a tall building in a large city.yahoo. The bartender looks over to the other guy and says. Minutes later he would appear in the elevator and repeat the whole process." said the other man. jumps off. then jumping off the balcony. stone dead.
that's your problem. and proceeds to hurl all over himself. what sort of greens do you eat?" The man replies. "Forever. I haven't had a pea in 7 years. I mean I really like peas!" The doctor replies. it must be your diet. he's at a convention for his employer and getting quite sloshed. I only eat peas. pushes himself away from the bar.topmasala. "Yeah. "Man.com/group/TopMasala/ ." Drunken Excuses Two guys are sitting at a bar. drops his head down to his chest. The second guy turns to the first and says.com The doctor says to him. One of the reps says. "But how long for. Wiping his mouth off on his shirtsleeve.. Anyway. so i gave it up!" The businessman says. "Ok. because I haven't had a smoke in four years.." The barman jumps up screaming. I'd love a cigarette. "Naw she won't. I'm already two hours late. I'm afraid" The man is quite shocked by this. everyone who can't swim. "Well. I gave it up.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "Well. "Well. he says. actually. I gotta go home. one guy hiccups." The doctor was quite shocked at this and says. "Really.http://www.. one night. My wife is gonna kill me. but he gives it a go and sure enough. because it cost me my first marriage. actually. and the barman goes." Quite a shocker really. his condition improves.yahoo. "Well man. "That's nothing. why?" Get More fun stuff like this. so he realises that he will never eat a pea again. I hate all other green foods. I haven't had a game of golf in 3 years. grab a table. After a bunch of drinks over several hours. Listen. and now I've thrown up all over myself. you got twenty bucks?" The first says. years later.TopMasala. all those peas will be clogging up your system. join TopMasala @ http://groups. you'll have to give them up!!" The guy says.
and the two continued to drink for the next couple of hours. he and the taxi driver are talking. As he walks through the door. a really drunk guy who has been in the bar way too long.yahoo. I swear. "Oh yeah. you tell her some guy threw up on your shirt and he gave you twenty bucks for the dry cleaning. Eventually they head home. "Take the twenty and put it in your front pocket. I do it all the time. he crapped in my pants too!!" A Puking Drunk A taxi driver goes to a bar to pick up his fare." Taxi guy replied. She says.TopMasala. "Hey taxi-dude! Think you got enough room in the front for a case of beer and a couple of chicken burgers?" Taxi guy says "Sure! Not a problem. Sure enough." The first guy says. Check my front pocket.com/group/TopMasala/ . When you get home and your wife asks what happened. The drunk guy goes. "Look at you! You're pathetic!! You're five hours late. sir. she takes a look at him and says.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "Wait honey. After giving directions back to his house.com The second drunk says. This drunken guy threw up on me and gave me twenty bucks to get my shirt dry cleaned. "Wait there's 40 bucks in here!" He says.http://www." She reaches in and pulls out the money.topmasala. join TopMasala @ http://groups. the first guyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wife is waiting up for him." "Some french fries and some meat loafs?" "Not a problem. drunk as a skunk. "BLLLLEEEEEECCCHHHHH!" Get More fun stuff like this. "Great idea! Let's have another round". listen for a second. and you've got dried puke all over the front of you! What have you got to say for yourself ?!?" He says. The drunk guy leans forwards and says.
goes down the stairs. the woman is flabbergasted! She grabs the parrot by the throat. etc. I am deeply sorry.topmasala. recently widowed. and even bit her once. madam. of course. she says. The parrot is very cold. do you look lovely this afternoon. and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. "And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you. marches down the stairs into the basement. She rips the parrot out of his cage. All she sees is a big green parrot. but there is no one." She turns around quickly to see who has spoken. into the cellar. okay. that would be delightful.http://www." The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot. and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying. "You know. "Okay. On the way.com/group/TopMasala/ . swearing." Within five minutes.com Animal Jokes: A very insulting parrot Panda This elderly lady. She leaves him there in the freezer for five long minutes before taking him back out. She says. Well. "Well? Have you learned your lesson? I will not tolerate such language in my house!" The parrot says. I did!" he replies. the parrot begins complaining. decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. She decides against puppies. he is cursing again and bit her once on the arm and once on the finger. Get More fun stuff like this. I am so proud of you that I believe I'll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?" The parrot says. "Why yes. When the woman enters the building. bringing the parrot along. "Did you say that?" she asks.yahoo. "My. join TopMasala @ http://groups. The lady is absolutely stunned. yes. "Why. I know a charming place on 7th Street. but one that paid such nice compliments.. resting on his perch in his cage. kitties. So she pays for him and takes him home.TopMasala." So they arrive home and the lady progresses upstairs to her room to change for dinner. I promise it won't happen again.
She gives them what they request.. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving.http://www.com and. the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say. into the freezer. Around midday. attack you?" A snail buys a fast new car Panda There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. she hid behind a tree. 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books. join TopMasala @ http://groups. When she finally takes him out. what'd he do. but he wants it repainted "240-S".com/group/TopMasala/ . "I swear it will never ever happen again! I will never insult you again! I promise!" As he thaws. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by. The dealer asks. The chickens leave as before. they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!" These chickens want books Panda A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say.TopMasala.yahoo.topmasala. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240Z. slam.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. This time.' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. "I do have one question though. At this point. approach the librarian. out of the town. "'S' stands for snail. 'Buk Buk BUK. That turkey in there. and decides to follow them. He is shivering and has light frost on the beak. The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail. he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. the parrot is one step away from death. The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon. After shopping around a while.and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. She followed them out of the library. so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee. and to a park." Well. "Why 'S'?" The snail replies. looking very annoyed and say. and gives it to them. not Get More fun stuff like this. she leaves him in there for fifteen minutes. he looks up at the lady and says.
he exclaimed.com/group/TopMasala/ . the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit.http://www. the wife saw this big. This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home. to which the frog was saying. join TopMasala @ http://groups. To demonstrate. snorting bird with a hairy chest. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic. the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more.." says the psychic. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond. became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The shopkeeper. "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention.yahoo. beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth. Get More fun stuff like this. "This is great! Will I meet her at a party. Then one day at a pet store. told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait." Purchasing a new bird Panda After many years of marriage. the shopkeeper said. "Next semester in her biology class. he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment. powerful hairy forearms. ugly.com wanting to be seen. a husband has turned into a couch potato.. A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told. observing her fascination with the bird. "Wow!" said the wife." The frog says. "Goony bird! The shelf!" Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds. "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you. "Goony bird! The table!" Immediately.topmasala." A frog calls a psychic Panda Recently.TopMasala. or what?" "No.
"Honey!" she exclaimed. the husband was. "Goony Bird.. Smart Ants All ants were bathing in a pool. most are good to eat. One ant climbs at the back of the elephant.com | Fun Forum – http://forum..topmasala.com When she entered the house.http://www.. Socho socho. in his usual bored tone replied.. Now the question is what were they telling him??? Socho socho. also if you decide to mount one. they are fun to catch and if you clean and prep them right. and all other ants started shouting at him.yahoo.. my foot!" Marriage should be like Fishing A marriage license should be like a fishing license.. it expires every year and if you go fishing out of state you can get a 3 days license.. as usual..TopMasala. "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!" The husband. you know is going to cost you plenty! If you bring one home (no matter how well you treat them) they start going bad and fresh ones are always better. sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. If you think about it. All ants got out of water.. girls and fish have a lot in common.... join TopMasala @ http://groups...com/group/TopMasala/ . Get More fun stuff like this. Just then an eleplant comes and jumps in the pool.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. do your stuff." T-square pranced over to the desk.http://www." Measure got up... a square. got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass... walked to the fridge.Everyone agreed that was good. He called his cat and said.com all ants starts saying. To show off..com/group/TopMasala/ .." Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.. join TopMasala @ http://groups.. "Spreadsheet. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. Get More fun stuff like this.. the second man was an Accountant... took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle." FOUR CATS The Four Cats ! Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were ... He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies .. "DUBA DUBA KE MAAR SALE KO. took out a quart of milk. do your stuff.topmasala. The first man was an Engineer. do your stuff.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said "Measure....yahoo.. the Engineer called his cat.TopMasala. and a triangle. "T-square.
.... "What can your cat do?" The Government Employee called his cat and said....... Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said. screwed the other three cats.................com/group/TopMasala/ ......do your stuff...TopMasala..... filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.................. Get More fun stuff like this.....com Everyone agreed that was pretty good.....http://www... claimed he injured his back while doing so. drank the milk. ate the cookies............ "Coffee Break....com | Fun Forum – http://forum....... sh*t on the paper........." Coffee Break jumped to his feet. join TopMasala @ http://groups.yahoo.....topmasala..............
cool.com/group/TopMasala/ . "No way. Not only is it beautiful.. The parrot says... Get More fun stuff like this. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk.TopMasala.." So the man pulls on the parrot's right leg. "Kaise Ho?" The man was so excited and overwhelmed... there's no animal that could ever learn how to speak two languages!" The employee smiles and says.!!!!!!!!!! Bilingual Parrot Bilingual Parrot A man walks to the register and asks the employee. "Hello how are you?" The man smiles and says..." The employee says.. but can you tell me why that parrot costs $5.." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.yahoo..topmasala. and he says. "Oh. "Go ahead pull on the left leg...com put in for Workers Compensation... "Excuse me sir. The parrot says.000 dollars?" The employee says. but it is bilingual.. it's one of a kind. that parrot is extremely special.. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.. that's amazing!" The employee then says. I fall down!" Sign language of a monkey ! A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed..." The man gives the employee a strange look and says. "That is the coolest thing I've ever seen!" Please you've got to tell me what happens if I pull both of his legs?" The parrot turns and looks at the man and says..http://www.and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave..." So the man pulls on the parrot's left leg..com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "Wow.. and pull on his right leg. "Go ahead. "Pagal. join TopMasala @ http://groups.. "Follow me I'll prove it.
9." The monkey shakes his head "Yes.TopMasala. The monkey shakes his head "Yes." She was incredibly ticked now. "They were smoking marijuana?"The monkey shakes his head "Yes. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out." "They were kissiing. "Hey lady. You can train a dog." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "Hey lady. Dogs are color blind. did you see this?" "Yes. you are saying your owners were drinking." The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. The monkey shakes his head "Yes. 8. "They were drinking?" asked the officer.yahoo." Get More fun stuff like this. too?" asked the astounded officer. 2. 6.com "You can understand what I am saying?" asked the officer."Well. smoking and kissing before they wrecked." "What were you doing during all this?" "Driving" motioned the monkey. Dogs miss you when you are gone. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. Dogs mean it when they kiss you. 4. The next day the same parrot again said to her." "Now wait. 7. you are really ugly. you are really ugly. When dogs play "fetch". How Dogs Are Better Than Men. You are really ugly." motioned the monkey. the monkey shook his head up and down. Again. Pretentious parrot!! A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. Dogs don t have problems expressing affection in public.com/group/TopMasala/ .. The parrot said to her. 1. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her. 3.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.http://www. 5." "What else?" The monkey motioned "kissing..topmasala. they don t laugh at how you throw. "Hey lady. 2. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Dogs understand what "NO" means. Dogs understand if some of their friends arenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t allowed to come inside.
000 dollars. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes.yahoo. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes. "Yes ?" And the bird replied." She paused and said. "Go forth and multiply. say the snakes. "What`s the problem?" says Noah." Her husband replied. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn t say it again.com/group/TopMasala/ ." Intelligent dog ! A wife says to her husband one weekend morning.topmasala. "Well. "Hey lady. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning. Smart snakes! The Flood is over and the ark has landed. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: "The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". so we need logs to multiply. Needless to say this begs the question "What can it do?" To which the owner replies "To be honest." The boss! A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. "We`ve got such a clever dog. Noah follows their advice. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her. everybody is happy.http://www. "Why. Noah lets all the animals out and says.000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Noah asks." Get More fun stuff like this. Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing.TopMasala. "We`re adders. "You know. say the snakes." A few months later. The owner says.com The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and to get rid of the bird if they didn t do something about it. join TopMasala @ http://groups.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1. "Want to tell me how the trees helped?" "Certainly". lots of dogs can do that. does the parrot cost so much" asks the first man. Naturally. "Cut down some trees and let us live there". "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer". the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!". Several more weeks pass.
He told them to shut up and let him get some sleep. join TopMasala @ http://groups.yahoo.topmasala.com The wife responded. The lion feeling like it`d been run over by a safari wagon. jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts." He flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" Fast as lightning. "OK. Down through a valley they went. Get More fun stuff like this.http://www.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. across a river and into a forest of trees. " But we`ve never subscribed to any papers!" Smoke in bed ! The mother kangaroo suddenly leapt into the air and gave a cry of pain and anguish. and fell to the ground. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared. "Oh great lion. "You are. follow me. Finally. jumped. the lion confronts a wildebeest and fiercely bellows. the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk. but they persisted until he finally gave in. he slowly climbed the tree again. mighty lion! "Later. "Well I didn`t!" Mightiest !! A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. After hours of effort he reached the top. YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. The elephant then stomped on the lion till it looked like a corn tortilla and ambled away.com/group/TopMasala/ . Soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. slams him against a tree half a dozen times. the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars. the female bird turned to her mate. "Do you see that tree over there?" "YES. "Dear. you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!" On a roll now. "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?" The terrified wildbeest stammers." Blind as a bat!!! A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the cave`s roof to get some sleep. `How many more times do I have to tell you that you cannot smoke in bed!` Poor turtle! Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree." she chirped.TopMasala. `Sidney!` she screamed. "I think it`s time to tell him he`s adopted. After recovering. YES.
com/group/TopMasala/ . HEY. Harry then proceeds to explain the removal procedure to the man because he will need help: "Now. "Hey what`s the shotgun for?" "Oh. and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.com The lion let out a moan of pain. but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again. So he asked the centipede in the box. He brings the husband over to the colourful but quiet bird. "I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! I`M PUTTING ON MY SHOES!" The purrfect gift! A few days before Christmas. and if I fall. The store manager tells him.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.TopMasala. "occasionally when I shake the tree. I`ll then get him into the truck while he`s still in a daze". yes. IN THERE. putting his face up against the centipede`s little house he shouted. How about going to the bar and having a drink with me? But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet. shoot the damn dog!" Unusual pet This guy was lonely." Ape removal A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla up in the tree in his front yard. a pick-up truck. The man agrees that Chet certainly is Get More fun stuff like this. Would you like to go to Frank`s with me for a beer? But there was no answer from his new pet. which came in a little white box to use for his house. and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink. Harry then begins to climb the tree and the man asks. This will temporarily immobilize the gorilla allowing you to safely walk up and place the handcuffs on him. He took the box back home." says Harry.http://www. After some discussion. So he waited a few more minutes. WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO FRANK`S PLACE AND HAVE A DRINK WITH ME? A little voice came out of the box. So he calls up Harry and about an hour later Harry shows up with all the tools of his trade. the gorilla shakes back. The very instant the gorilla hits the ground. So he went to the pet store and told the owner he wanted to buy an unusual pet. this daog is trained to rush up and bite his balls off. a ferociously-trained dog and a shotgun. join TopMasala @ http://groups. you don`t have to get so mad. found a good location for the box.topmasala. This bothered him a bit. Not knowing quite what to do. he looks in the yellow pages under "Gorilla Removal Service" and sure enough finds a listing-Harry`s Ape Removal. thinking about the situation and he decided to ask him one more time! This time. "Just because you don`t know the answer. I`m going to climb up in this tree and shake the tree until the gorilla falls out of the tree. lifted his head weakly and hollered after the elephant. he has just what he`s looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. he finally bought a centipede. a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife.yahoo. a pair of handcuffs.
com | Fun Forum – http://forum. He got up to see who it was but when he opened the door no one was there. Immediately Chet starts singing. "Silent Night." The husband is very impressed with Chet`s singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet`s right foot. Get More fun stuff like this... Holy Night.. Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird`s legs." The husband says Chet is perfect and that he`ll take him.. "Chet`s Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!" Poor Snail One day a man was sitting on his sofa at home when he heard a knock at the door.. One night in the middle of the magician's performance. but he doesn`t seem to be much for singing. Demonstrating.. and the bird begins to sing.. The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately.com retty. he holds a lighter under Chet`s left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." The wife is absolutely impressed. Confused parrot A magician on a cruise liner had a parrot. Just as he was about to sit down he heard the knock again but when he got there again. He looks around for a second and just as he is about to close the door. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet`s left foot. He scratched his head. He picked up the snail." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells. he looks down and sees the snail who looks back up and says "What the Hell was that all about!!?". the ship hit an iceberg and sank. his owner growing stale and not developing any new tricks that the parrot couldn't figure out. looked around for a second and looked down to see a tiny snail on the porch. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells.http://www. He gets up and goes to see who`s there and there is no one. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. there was no one at the door. threw it into a field across the street and headed back inside to watch television again. long ago having figured out the magic behind the magician's disappearing acts. Everyone drowned except the magician and the parrot. Jingle All the Way. The parrot got bored.com/group/TopMasala/ . Three Years Later The same man is sitting on his sofa watching TV and hears a knock at the door.topmasala. who'd seen all the magician's tricks a jillion times.TopMasala. join TopMasala @ http://groups. and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet`s legs instead.yahoo. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot`s special talent.
The elephant complained. I get terrible neck pains.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.topmasala. but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him. and allows you to see a distance. and makes me look like a fool!" The Lord said. the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road. The car gets real close. trying to hurry across the street. drink water. They were an elephant. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches. The driver is a squirrel. By now. The squirrel says to the man. Soon afterward. It gets in the way. join TopMasala @ http://groups. but either let me have a bigger hole or smaller eggs. Another hour goes by. then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him. It lets you pick up food. And stared. I don't want to complain. "Lord. For a whole day the magician was unconscious. the parrot flew to the magician. What did you do with the ship?" Animal Complaints It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. and a hen. I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy. The man walks faster. "Lord. and people laugh at me!" The Lord said.TopMasala. not even blinking. but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him. The driver rolls down the window. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him." Tough job! There's a man trying to cross the street. "Awright. Eventually the magician started to stir. it's not as easy as it looks.com/group/TopMasala/ .yahoo. I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. "Don't complain. without getting wet!" Next the giraffe complained. "See. So the guy turns around to go back. is it?" Get More fun stuff like this." The hen spoke up.com The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage and climb aboard. and all this time the parrot didn't take his eyes off him. "Lord. perched on the edge of the makeshift raft and stared at the magician.http://www. Looking up. still eyeing him intently. etc. "Don't complain. And stared. he saw the parrot. I give up. and finally the parrot squawks. immediately collapsing from exhaustion. a giraffe.
and you are in heaven." "WHAT!!? Are you saying. and he looks up and says.. then asks the lizard..yahoo. and who are you?" he asked. he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get adrink from the river.. Peter. "you can only return as a dog or a hen.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. "Faaaaaaark dude. "This is not your bedroom. come up and have some. said St. but a hen probably has a nice Get More fun stuff like this.how much water did you drink?! The Dream Eggs! Joe did like he always does. kissing his wife." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. crawling into bed and falling to sleep.. join TopMasala @ http://groups. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.. Peter. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle... "Smoking a joint. finds the tree were the monkey is sitting.. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side. "What's the matter with you?" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree. and figured out that being a dog is too tiring. I want you to send me back immediately..com Dopin' Lizard A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey. "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says. "If I'm dead..com/group/TopMasala/ . I'm dead? I don't want to die . All of a sudden... I'm too young. finishing a joint..TopMasala..http://www." said Joe. "Hey you!" The Monkey looks down and says." "It's not that easy".topmasala. You can choose on your own" Joe thought about it for a while. "I am St." the man replied.. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? .
However none of the other players seemed to pay any mind to the fact that they were playing with a dog. "That's only the ovulation going on.. but it feels like my rear end is blowing up. discarding. Have you never laid an egg before?? Cluck twice. "Joe. Get More fun stuff like this. "Hey. and pushed more than he was good for." Joe clucked twice. Then the dog acts in turn with all the other players.http://www.. "How does it feel?" "Well. "I want to return as a hen. "Wow" Joe said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. join TopMasala @ http://groups.. raising. The third time he clucked. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground." Joe replied. then along came the rooster. nicely feathered. In the next second. calling. you must be the new hen on the farm. you're shittin' all over the bed!" Dog`s Hand A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. and then 'Plop' and an egg was on the ground. This peaks his curiosity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog.topmasala.. he heard his wife shout. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow . everything the other human players were doing... Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog.TopMasala..com/group/TopMasala/ .." "Oh that!" said the rooster.com | Fun Forum – http://forum." he said.yahoo. for Christ's sake!!! Wake up . he found himself in a chicken run. it's OK I guess. and then you push all you can..com and relaxed life. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table.
com/group/TopMasala/ . "He isn't that smart. "Why?" my daughter asked. join TopMasala @ http://groups. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. Finally the man could not longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players. Second woman : I know First one : How? Second one : My dog told me. my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked. or they don't let you be a Mommy. "Mommy. every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail. "I can't believe that dog is playing poker. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.com they just treated him like any other player. who are dog owners. it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.topmasala. You have to know it. you don't know where it's been.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Every morning he waits for a paper boy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me. but she was evidently pondering this new information.http://www. At this point. Children Jokes: Mommy Test The Mommy Test I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter." The comparison! Two women." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes. are arguing which dog is smarter: First woman : My dog is so smart. "Because it's been on the ground.TopMasala. It's on the Mommy Test. Get More fun stuff like this." I was thinking quickly.yahoo. "All moms know this stuff. how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart. he must be the smartest dog in the world!" The player smiled and said.
yahoo. "Then you use to bite my neck. The husband was falling a sleep.topmasala." Mildly irritated. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Thirty seconds later she said.I get it!" she beamed. and tried to get back to sleep..com "OH. "Where are you going ?" she asked. "Angrily. he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. An older couple was lying in bed one night. but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. send this to a Mom! Old AGE!. "To get my teeth!" LITTLE JOHNNY EYES CREAM Get More fun stuff like this. When you're finished laughing. A few moments later she said. She said.TopMasala. "You use to hold my hand when we were courting.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. "Then you used to kiss me." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face. "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." Wearily he reached across. he reached across.http://www. held her hand for a second..com/group/TopMasala/ .
com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "Let's talk." said his mother. "Wow ! I must have thrown it right through that hole!" Interesting topic! A stranger was seated next to Little Johnnie on the plane when the stranger turned to the boy and said.com Little Johnny watched. Something of his had found its way into my garage. she began removing the cream with a tissue. Upon opening the garage door. "To stay pretty for daddy. and one look at Me. about six years Old. "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh. who had just opened his book. and He wanted it back. join TopMasala @ http://groups. as his mother was putting cold cream on her face.topmasala. I don't know. "What's the matter mommy?" asked Little Johnny. closed it slowly. and said to the stranger.http://www. A few minutes later.yahoo. I noticed two additions: a baseball and A broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.com/group/TopMasala/ . "Why are you rubbing that cream on you face.TopMasala. mommy?" he asked. "How do you suppose This ball got in here?" I asked the boy. "How about nuclear power?" Get More fun stuff like this. one look at the window. Taking one look at the ball. "Giving up?" Accuracy There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy. fascinated." said the stranger. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. The boy exclaimed. he said." Little Johnnie.
he answered. please get my foot out and I'll stop swearing AND being bad!" Still nothing his foot was wedged tight. "God. He picked up the object and looked at it. the answer was. I'll stop swearing. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. As he struggled to free his foot. But let me ask you a question first. AND I'll stop trying to look up little Mary's dress. "NO!" Get More fun stuff like this." said Little Johnnie. he heard a noise and turned around.topmasala. and a deer all eat grass. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck.com/group/TopMasala/ . join TopMasala @ http://groups." Entry to Heaven! "If I sold my house. I got it myself.com "OK. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. The train was just seconds away! Little Johnny struggled frantically as the train's horn blared. "I think it's Adam's underwear!" Praying Johnny! Little Johnny was walking along the railroad tracks when suddenly he got his foot caught under one of the railroad ties. a cow. the train narrowly missing him. "NO!" the children all answered." "Well. my car and had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church. the boy called out. looked toward Heaven and said." said Little Johnnie. dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice. would that get me into Heaven?" Again." said the stranger. The same stuff. "God. He looked up to see the train getting closer! He prayed again. then. they all answered. I'll quit being bad. then. and kept everything neat and tidy. something fell out of the Bible. and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. "If I cleaned the church every day. Panicked he started to pray. Suddenly. "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?" Adam's dress A little boy opened the big family bible. "Thanks anyway God.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. would that get me into Heaven?" Robert asked them again. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez. "I have no idea. He got up. He tried his plea one more time. dusted himself off.TopMasala. Yet a deer excretes little pelleile a cow turns out a flat patty. his foot broke free and he fell backwards. "What have you got there. A horse. "God. if you get my foot out of the tracks. please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop being bad!" Nothing happened.yahoo. please. "NO! "Well. "That could be an interesting topic. mowed the yard." Just as the train was about to hit Johnny. and loved my wife. would that get me into Heaven?" Robert asked the children in a school class.http://www. Again. his foot was still stuck. "Mama. To his horror he saw a train coming. look what I found". if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children.
" "OH.com "Well. the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations. "How was I born?" "Well honey ." said the slightly prudish parent. the stork brought them too!" said the parent. during which one child was heard to say. I PRAY FOR A NEW MUSIC SYSTEM." Vanishing cream! During a dinner party. the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. Several days later. "You see. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going.http://www. Get More fun stuff like this. "Well.. it is Vanishing cream!" Christmas prayer Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. After going all the way around the room.. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. At bedtime. "Well darling.. the stork brought us too. "then how can I get into Heaven?" A five-year-old boy shouted out. "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!" Natural childbirth! A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth..yahoo.. how did you and daddy get born?" he asked." "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.topmasala." Robert continued. "Oh. He asked his parents.TopMasala. As they disappeared out of sight." said the boy. the hosts' two little kids entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The guests co-operated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. the children left. join TopMasala @ http://groups..com/group/TopMasala/ . "the stork brought you to us. there was a moment of silence at the table.
Get More fun stuff like this. Here. I'll show you. and he's never hurt no one. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. He did. then that water ain't fit to drink!" Better job Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked." she said.yahoo. "Well now. As he was dipping the bucket in. "God's doing a lot better job lately. "if he's as scared as I am." the older man answered. God made me. join TopMasala @ http://groups. where's my bucket and where's my water?" Gramma asked him.. He's been there for a few years now." the grandfather answered. Grandpa?" "Yes. the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa. "Did God made you. "I know.com | Fun Forum – http://forum." To which the little brother replied. The barber whispered..TopMasala. For a few minutes. Johnnie. Gramma.com/group/TopMasala/ . Why. Johnnie came bouncing over "Hello Sir!" The barber pulled out a rusty dime and a shiny quarter and told Johnnie he could keep the one of his choice. the little girl asked him. "I can't get any water from that water hole." replied Johnnie. Grandpa. while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator. when they both noticed a goofy-looking kid bouncing down the sidewalk. but Grandma is!" Scared!!! One day Gramma sent her grandson little Johnnie down to the water hole to get some water to cook dinner. he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well. he saw two big eyes looking back at him." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said. "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf. At last she spoke up.topmasala. one of the stupidest kids you'll ever meet.com I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR. "That's Johnnie." Stupidest kid! A businessman was talking with his barber. A few minutes later.http://www. Gramma" exclaimed Johnnie. "You know. as well as her own reflection in the mirror. "Did God make me too?" "Yes." "Hey Johnnie! Come here!" yelled the barber.
com Johnnie looked long and hard at the dime and quarter and then quickly snapped the dime from the barber's hand. The barber looked at the businessman and said. "See. too." Then little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks. right?" "Right. an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important. the trees are brown. It was now time for the usual question period. "Sorry.com/group/TopMasala/ . Goldblatt. Johnnie looked at him in the eye and said.yahoo. "Does a fart have lumps?" The teacher looks horrified and says." After his haircut. "Well accordin' to the Bible. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin"? Definitely ! A nursery school teacher says to her class." The teacher says. but the sky can sometimes be gray. "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says. the new teacher. I told you. an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans. the game is over." A second little boy says. "Mr." "An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians.topmasala. or black.http://www." "Sorry. Amy." Children of Israel At the Henry Street Hebrew School. the businessman caught up with Johnnie and asked him why he chose the dime. join TopMasala @ http://groups.com | Fun Forum – http://forum." demanded Joey. finished the day's lesson. "The sky is definitely blue. right?" "Again you're right." "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt." "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple." "An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines. "Johnny! Of course not!!!" Get More fun stuff like this." announced little Joey. Goldblatt. "there's something I can't figure out." agreed Goldblatt. "Trees are definitely green. but in the autumn. right?" "All that is right.TopMasala. right?" "Er--right. "If I take the quarter. "So what's your question?" "What I wanna know is this. the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea.
I'm at the neighbor's house. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Jimmy. Some day I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the school's report card that's in my desk drawer.http://www. we'll pray for the science to find the AIDS cure.yahoo.topmasala.com/group/TopMasala/ . it's not true. I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. In the meantime. with trembling hands: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend..com | Fun Forum – http://forum." "Honest?" asked Jimmy... I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends. "My Daddy's an accountant.. who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasies we may want. But it is not only that mom. "My Daddy's a lawyer." replied the second. join TopMasala @ http://groups. she reads it. I found real passion and he is so nice. Johnnie replied.com "OK. Get More fun stuff like this. Love Your daughter.I love you! Honest Law yer! Two small boys were overheard talking one day.With the worst premonition. Don't worry Mom. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. Judith PS: Mom. "Johnnie. I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. he deserves it. for Ahmed to get better. "My name is Jimmy.then I DEFINITELY shit my pants!" Shocking letter A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle. What's yours?" asked the first boy.TopMasala.
Strange Neighbour There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. "I suggest you don't associate with people like that.topmasala. my dear. "But there are some really strange people living in these apartments.yahoo. 5. replied Johnnie.com/group/TopMasala/ .but she keeps finding her way back. good food and companionship. After a week or two. We also sleep in separate beds. 3. " Angus said. 4." Martial Woes: Perfect Marriage 1.. I take my wife everywhere. "I don't." "Oh. I go on Fridays. we go to a nice restaurant. She goes on Tuesdays. .TopMasala. I don't.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. We always hold hands. "I'm fine. his mother called to see how her son was doing in his new life. she shops." "Well." says his mother. just the regular kind". Hers is in California and mine is in Texas . So I suggested the kitchen." says Angus. another lies on her floor moaning. Get More fun stuff like this.http://www. have a little beverage. 2. and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time. If I let go. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. No. join TopMasala @ http://groups.. playing my bagpipes. Two times a week. One woman cried all day long..com "No. Mam. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. I just stay inside my apartment all day and night. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
The driver said "No.http://www. We are brought up that way. She has an electric blender.. You must give careful thought to what needs must be fulfilled for you to know you have a healthy love relationship. A better way might be to strive to get the need of being loved fulfilled by allowing your love partner to love you the way they love you.TopMasala.I don't like to interrupt her. we become disappointed. Expectations are in the eye of the beholder. Another disappointing thing about expectations is that they often do not come true. The other love partner doesn't know the expectation of the other. 11." 8. Needs can be cussed and discussed.! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"I said "Dust!" No Relationship without Expectation Having expectations in our culture is expected.com 6. she told me "In the lake. She ran after the garbage truck. I will most likely be disappointed.. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. if I expect you to love me a certain way and your love doesn't show up that way for me. I asked where the car was. we moan. 9. we b***h. 13. join TopMasala @ http://groups.yahoo. Get More fun stuff like this. Your need to be loved a certain way is not a healthy need. Then the mud fell off.She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" . Expectations are rarely ever communicated. I married Miss Right. 12. So I bought her an electric chair. Can you see the problem? Needs must be communicated. yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" ..com | Fun Forum – http://forum. One love partner knows the expectation.com/group/TopMasala/ .. it is only and always an unrealistic expectation. jump in!" 10. The last fight was my fault though. I just didn't know her first name was Always. For example. That is a problem for most people. Having great expectations sounds great however when the expectation is unfulfilled. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.topmasala. electric toaster and electric bread maker.
to be challenged by the surprise and know that everything is going to be okay.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Surprises create a sense of adventure. we often get angry or disappointed. fewer disappointments!" It's that simple. things may turn out better than we imagined. It only means that if your expectations don't get met. . By considering a new point of view. Not easy." is certainly a better attitude than the alternative. those kind of surprises create the kind of conversation that empowers both love partners to continue to selfinquire. Problems are not to break us.com/group/TopMasala/ . . Disappointment usually follows. Simple. While there is something to be said about "expecting the best. we open ourselves up to whatever good the 'us' of the committed you and me may be working on together at the time. we are often surprised. This will always generate lots of surprises. everything will work out better. Some say. that the results are always bad.com "Expect the best. That is when the adventure begins. healthy needs. or worse.TopMasala. "If you always expect the best for your relationship. the adventure the heart was crying for. Once we learn to identify our own individual. we may be surprised by the result. Working together on problems makes us stong.yahoo. we must also learn not to be attached to the expectation of how those needs get fulfilled. Some of the surprises may show up as challenges for the relationship. When two people really love each other and are committed to work together. We often expect our love partner to make the best choices for themselves and our relationship and when they are not our choices. It will work out the way it works out and you will be disappointed because it didn't work out the way you expected it to. join TopMasala @ http://groups. because if there were shades of doubt present in our imaginings. Even when we imagine the very best. . surprises that create new and exciting possibilities for the two of you to experience. Since we are detached from the way things need to work out.topmasala." we must remember that disappointment comes from unfulfilled expectations.http://www. surprises you can enjoy together. This does not mean that when your expectations do not get met. You don't always get what you expect. Get More fun stuff like this. or both. . Most people call this situation a problem: a problem we create by our expectations. Try this: "No expectations. by changing our thinking about expectations." This is a myth. They bring couples together and give them something to share. to investigate their curiosities about what they can do to stand together.
to be understood. In my opinion. The healthier image you have of yourself. of course! You focus on your needs and make a Get More fun stuff like this.http://www. the less likely this will occur.com By thinking in terms of needs instead of expectations. When it feels like duty.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. For us to have expectations about how those needs get fulfilled can only cause disappointment. if there are children in the relationship you have a responsibility to take care of them. argument. regardless of whether their choices are our choices. We all experience the need to have healthy choices exercised and when they don't show up in our relationship. how do you sidestep the disappointment that always comes from unfulfilled expectations? Who wins the "expectations versus needs" dilemma? Needs. always picking our lover apart because their choices are not the ones we would make can only point the relationship in the wrong direction. The next thing you know is. However. And we have a responsibility for getting our needs met." I mean making sacrifices that conflict with what you need from the relationship. When duty does not meet our needs. By "give yourself away. the number two problem in relationships revolves around unfulfilled expectations. we create vulnerability. frustration and we want to avoid these feelings so we stuff them. The outcome is less predictable. anger. For example. we either choose to have conversations about them or not.com/group/TopMasala/ .yahoo. The number one problem in relationships is undelivered communication.topmasala. you have a responsibility to take care of your need to not have it feel like duty. we begin to think about making a responsible choice to leave the relationship. If we could accept the notion that everyone is doing the best they can. our attitude about our relationship would improve and perhaps the relationship we have would become the relationship we enjoy being in. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Never sacrifice your own personal integrity with regard to getting your needs met. Never give yourself away in the relationship. it caused a confrontation. There is some risk involved. it is something to be avoided. So. Everyone has a need to be loved. your partner didn't take out the garbage and you want a divorce and it's not about the garbage. Having needs with no expectations about how they will be fulfilled causes us to feel vulnerable. We must learn to distinguish between expectations and needs. to be accepted and to be forgiven when necessary. If the choices are abusive and therefore unacceptable. We have more to lose because now we know what we want. It's the things we don't communicate because the last time we did.TopMasala. There is a difference between duty and responsibility.
Man: Will it help? Dr: No. . Express your needs with love. Having healthy needs is a natural and creative attitude to embrace. join TopMasala @ http://groups. What you can be with in life lets you be! When you know what you need from your relationship and can express those needs to your partner and be okay with allowing them to love you the way they can love you.topmasala. It is important to allow your love partner the freedom to fulfill your needs in their own best way.com/group/TopMasala/ . We often call things that happen that cause disappointment. as best you can.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. If your relationship is not full of surprises.com commitment to never have any undelivered communication about them. have no expectations. When you have expectations there are never any surprises because the outcome is almost always predictable. Disappointment follows unfulfilled expectations. The predicaments that follow are predictable.http://www. problems. good or bad. . but the thought of long life will never come.TopMasala. Talk about what you need with your partner. it is most likely very boring and may border on being unhealthy. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! Get More fun stuff like this. Unfulfilled expectations always cause problems.yahoo. To avoid disappointment or problems. you will see a shift in your relationship that goes far beyond what you ever could have imagined M ARRIAGE without any prejudice All about MARRIAGE without any prejudice Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married.
.. It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. and I can just wait for my coffee." So she fetched the Bible. if suicide is better or being murdered.. that it indeed says . "I can't believe that.. . show me.. and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages.. because you get up first. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Sweetheart U R Dead! There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.. it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee. because that is your job. The wife said... It's like asking someone." The husband said. WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai? Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.TopMasala. and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."HEBREWS" Get More fun stuff like this.. " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it. "No.com/group/TopMasala/ ." Husband replies." Wife replies.com Wife: Darling today is our anniversary. "You should do it. you should do it. and besides..yahoo.topmasala.http://www.. Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ? To tell each other affectionately.
" Millionaire "Last night my wife told me she dreamed she was married to a millionaire.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.yahoo.TopMasala. and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. Replied Tom. "You're lucky. "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.topmasala. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said.com/group/TopMasala/ . or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that too" she replied softly. The husband pauses . join TopMasala @ http://groups. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes. He appears to be in deep thought. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. "Yes I do" she replies.. "What's the matter dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. just staring at the wall. My wife thinks that in the daytime!" Get More fun stuff like this.com Yeah Baby A woman wakes up during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. I remember" said the wife. lowering herself into a chair beside him.http://www. "I would have been released today. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him." Bill said to his friend Tom.the words were not coming easily. 'Either you marry my daughter. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee. The husband continued.
He told her not to bother. she began to undress for the day's work. You may approach the bench. "this is somewhat unusual but I will make an exception in this case. The model said. As usual.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. please." Nude Masterpiece There was this artist.TopMasala. "She also stole a can of peas. who worked from a studio in his home. may I approach the bench?" "Well. and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now. join TopMasala @ http://groups. considering her record. he said in a low voice. leaning forward. addressing the judge. let me fix it for you. "Oh." Get More fun stuff like this. He told her that he would pay her for the day. off to bed. "This time you stole a can of tomatoes. as he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He specialized in nudes.http://www. he just wanted some hot tea and then.com Six Nights A kleptomaniac woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket and had to appear in court. "Then I sentence you to six nights in jail. and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk. "Your honor. It's the least I can do. taking along her long-suffering husband for marital support.topmasala.yahoo." The husband jumped to his feet. There were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?" The woman agreed. his model reported." The husband wasted no time getting there and. but that she could just go home.com/group/TopMasala/ . he was forced to impose a jail term." said his honor. The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her that.
TopMasala.com/group/TopMasala/ .yahoo. "Wait a minute!" She had a box with her and she came over with the box and put it in the casket." "You mean to tell me that you put all that money in the casket!" "I sure did. saved all his money. I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband?" The loyal wife replied." said the wife. Quick! Take all your clothes off.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. He was stretched out in the casket. "Girl.http://www. when he heard the front door open and close.com He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. and was a real miser. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea. Just before he died he said to his wife. "Oh my God!" he whispered loudly." Loyal Wife There was a man who had worked all his life. Well he died. When they finished the ceremony just before they were ready to close the casket the wife say. "When I die I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Get More fun stuff like this. Her friend said. put it into my account and wrote a cheque. his wife was sitting there in black and her friend was sitting next to her. I promised him that I was going to put the money in with him. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me. The undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.topmasala. then some familiar footsteps. "I got it all together. if he can cash it he can spend it. Suspicious Wife A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the housemaid." And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all his money in the casket with him. "Listen I'm a Christian I can't go back on my word. "It's my wife. join TopMasala @ http://groups.
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She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid's room, switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed. Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid's bed beside her... After a few passionate kisses, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and asked, "Surprised?" "I sure am, ma'am!" stammered the chauffeur. Dying Husband A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised. When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, "Sweetheart, your future has been taken care of regardless of what happens to me. You will have an income of $250,000 a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas, my Mercedes. You'll never need to worry about money." "Oh, sweetheart, please don't talk that way," his young wife exclaimed. "You've been so good to me already. If you go, I'll be devastated. Oh, there must be something I can do to help you. Please... tell me
what I can do?" "Well," the old man gasped, "you can quit pinching the inlet tube to my oxygen supply for starters." Crazy Love A minister visited an asylum for the mentally disturbed and was taken on a tour of the facilities by one of the resident doctors. Walking down the dismal, echoing corridors, the minister was troubled by the cries and groans of the patients coming from their rooms.
"I hope that I can be of some help and comfort to these poor souls," he told the doctor.
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The doctor stopped at a door and they looked through the small window. "This is a sad case," said the doctor. The patient rocked back and forth on her cot, sobbing and sighing. "Peter," she repeated over and over. "Oh, Peter!" "She was to marry a man named Peter," said the doctor. "And on their wedding day he ran off with another woman. It broke her heart and she went mad." They moved on to another door and looked in. Inside the patient was bound in a straightjacket, shrieking insanely, "Peter! Peter!" "Let me guess," said the minister. "She lost Peter also." "No," answered the man. "She's the one that got him!" Married Life Not long after his marriage, Joe and his father, met for lunch. "Well, son," asked the father, "how is married life treating you?" "Not very well, I'm afraid," sighed Joe. "It seems I married a nun."
"A nun?" his father questioned. "That's right," moaned Joe. "None in the morning, none at night, and none at all unless I beg!" Joe's father nodded knowingly and slapped his boy on the back a couple of times. "Why don't we all get together for dinner tonight and have a nice talk?" Joe smiled, "Say, Dad, that's a great idea!" "Fine," replied the father, "I'll call home and tell the Mother Superior to set two extra plates."
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The New Wife The new wife was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech: "My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family", she said "Firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine. No, I will never do that, never in a million years". "What do you mean my child?" Asked the father in law. "What I mean dad is (looking at her father in law): Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked shouldn't stop at my account, and those who used to Clean should continue cleaning". "Then what are you here for?" Asked the mother in law. "As for me, my job is to entertain your son!"
Extra Marital affairs.. Extra Marital affairs....I bet u'll laugh till u drop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The 1st Affair: A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
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com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and replied. "I'm having an affair with my secretary. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen." "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!" The 2nd Affair: A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. "Not this time!" The 3th Affair: Get More fun stuff like this. He put on his shoes and drove home. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy." he replied. "I can't lie to you.TopMasala.yahoo.com/group/TopMasala/ .http://www. join TopMasala @ http://groups. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. He told his wife. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. We had sex all afternoon.topmasala. "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.com The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
Around 2 AM the husband got up. Sir. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" Get More fun stuff like this. "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel." the barman replied. that'll be one cent. "have this. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us." "One Cent?" the man thought. "Pretend you're a statue. join TopMasala @ http://groups.http://www." she said." she said. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing." She rubbed baby oil all over him." he said to the statue. then dusted him with talcum powder.yahoo." The 4th Affair: A man walked into a cafe. "Don't move until I tell you. "A nickel?" exclaimed the man.com/group/TopMasala/ ." she replied. went to the bar and ordered a beer." "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room." No more was said. too. "Certainly.com A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "stand in the corner. not even when they went to bed. "Hurry. He glanced at the menu and asked. "Oh it's a statue.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.topmasala. "Here. went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.TopMasala.
" Freaking Jinx A man was walking across the road when he had an accident.http://www. "I have something I must confess. He held her hands and said meaningfully: "You have always been by my side." his wife replied.com/group/TopMasala/ ." "There's no need to. "Upstairs. "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work. I failed again and again.. which caused him to be comatose for two days before he finally regained consciousness. He looked up and said weakly. "I want to die in peace." She squeezed his hands as he continued: "When I went for all the major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs. When he opened his eyes..topmasala. even my re-papers as well. His wife sat at the bedside.. "No... And sometimes. When I was a struggling University student. join TopMasala @ http://groups. you were there beside me. with my wife. cutting out more adverts for me to apply. You were there beside me. encouraging me to go on trying.com The bartender replied. his wife was there beside him. "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here." The 5th Affair: Jake was dying.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. I slept with your sister." she replied.yahoo. The impact was on his head. your best friend.TopMasala." Get More fun stuff like this." he insisted." The man asked. her best friend. I know. and your mother!" "I know.
He meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him "Hi Dravid!" Surprised for having been caught he comes back and makes himself up as amuslim woman ..There's something I'd really like to say to you. I blew it because of one little mistake. Dravid comes back determined to give it yet another try with the make up of a Hippie wig and shorts etc. Bewildered by now. sobbing with emotion. So he disguises himself as a Sardar and goes out.com He continued: "Then I started work at this little firm and finally got to handle a big contract..com | Fun Forum – http://forum. the team members were not able to show their faces to people and they chose not to go in public and rather just pack up in hotel rooms.TopMasala.. And you were still beside me. As such. the same lady catches him again and greets him "Hi Dravid!"..topmasala.. "You're a freaking jinx!" Sports Jokes: what happened after india lost to srilanka??? After the shameful defeat of Team India . Dravid could not resist for too long to be in the hotel room and still not be able to go out shopping. And you were there beside me.. "How did you recognise me?" Get More fun stuff like this.. All in vain. I remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till now. you are here beside me. he could not help asking. Yet the same woman greets him "Hi Dravid!"." "Then I finally got another job after being laid off for some time." She flung herself on the bed to hug her husband.com/group/TopMasala/ .http://www. He said..yahoo. join TopMasala @ http://groups.in Burkha etc and goes out. But I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not recognised. " Her eyes brimmed with tears as she listened to her husband: "And now I had an accident and when I woke up.
" The other man replied. Tiny." "Oh yeah. "Pssst.TopMasala. "Bubba. "I remember now. they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. If they failed. Tapping Tiny's Get More fun stuff like this. "This was my wife's seat. he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "They're all at the funeral. "Is this seat taken?" The man replied. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba." Taking the final exam Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. When he arrived at the seat. What's the answer to the last question?" Tiny laughed. The exam was fill-in-theblank.yahoo. He stopped. he asked the man sitting next to it.com/group/TopMasala/ . join TopMasala @ http://groups. Making sure the professor wasn't watching. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied.com The lady replied .topmasala. The last question read." He picked up his No."I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed."I am Sachin!" An extremely loyal fan There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau." Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer." said Bubba. Looking with his binoculars. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. "Old MacDonald had a ________.http://www. She was a big Packers fan.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM. you're so stupid. She passed away.
TopMasala. two thousand dollars is nothing more than three months rent or mortgage payments. "HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING" Your basketball player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. bonds. Two thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you. Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.topmasala. he whispered. real estate. For you. how do you spell farm?" "You are really dumb. join TopMasala @ http://groups. they will be deprived of pay for several weeks--possibly a whole year--as a result of the strike. Get More fun stuff like this. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O. but to a basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. 401(k).yahoo." Adopt an NBA player THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU! With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming.com shoulder again. Bubba. "HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?" Each month. It's just not right. Detailed information about his stocks.http://www. trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari. or enjoy a weekend in Rio. as if that weren't bad enough. he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator just in case additional funds are needed for unexpected expenses. Your commitment of two thousand dollars a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center. Although the player won't know your name. But to a basketball player. You'll also get information on how he plans to invest the $5 million lump sum he will receive upon retirement. Plus upon signing up for this program. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And. you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. you will receive a photo of the player (unsigned).com/group/TopMasala/ . two thousand dollars a day will almost replace his salary. But now you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day--that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV--you can help a basketball player remain economically viable during his time of need. now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. That's so easy.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "Tiny.
Please select one for me.TopMasala.Date:____________________________ Signature: _________________________ Get More fun stuff like this. [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] DiscoverCard [ ] Diner's Club Your Name: __________________________ Telephone Number: __________________ Account Number: _____________________ Exp. join TopMasala @ http://groups. Please charge the account listed below $2. along with a team logo and my very own NBA Players Association badge to wear proudly on my lapel. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored.com | Fun Forum – http://forum.com/group/TopMasala/ . My preference is checked below: [ ] Starter [ ] Reserve [ ] Star* [ ] Superstar** [ ] Entire team*** [ ] I'll sponsor a player most in need.topmasala. ___YES.http://www. * Higher cost ** Much higher cost *** Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team (Sorry.yahoo.79 per day for a reserve player or starter for the duration of the strike. does not include cheerleaders).054.com Simply fill out the form below. I want to help! I would like to sponsor a striking NBA basketball player.
Oh yes. and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried. When she reached her final destination. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her. and second of all.) Note: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have sponsored.TopMasala. but not limited to. Get More fun stuff like this. thanks to your generous donations. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".http://www. you're going to have to pay for those holes.yahoo. she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. this is a hockey rink. contributions are not tax-deductible.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole. but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there. telephone calls. a blonde was trying out her new boat. Early the next morning. travel through water. letters. or third parties. e-mail. So the man cooly says "Well first of all. she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. Blonde Jokes: I'm going ice fishing! A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. "How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde. She was unable to have her boat perform." Boat troubles During late spring one year. either in person or by other means including.com Mail completed form to NBA Players Association or call 1-888-TOOMUCH now to enroll by phone. (Children under 18 must have parental approval. join TopMasala @ http://groups. So she moves again.topmasala. Keep in mind that the basketball player you have sponsored will be much too busy enjoying his free time.com/group/TopMasala/ .
topmasala. I'm a 6' tall. the bouncer is blonde. Blonde Sky Divers A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. "Nah. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -. not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2". then began in a patient tone. "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice. So.http://www.nothing happens.TopMasala. Because he was laughing so hard.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. 200 lb black belt. a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. She noted a farm animal standing next to a farmer and stopped the car to ask the farmer a question. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it." she inquired. join TopMasala @ http://groups.com After trying for over three days to make it work properly. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. Other Get More fun stuff like this. "Before you tell that joke. "Well. she decided to seek help. weighs 225. Under the boat. you should know something. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw.com/group/TopMasala/ . The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler." Horns There was this blonde city-girl who was out driving and found herself in a rural area. was the trailer. cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race.yahoo. huh?" Are You Really Sure? A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender. still strapped in place securely. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem. the guy next to him says. ma'am. "Sir. "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?" The farmer cocked his head for a moment. Mister." Our bartender IS blonde. he came up choking on water and gasping for air. and he's a rugby player.
Get More fun stuff like this.com times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in." "No." He thought for a moment and asked. she moves forward to the last empty one.yahoo. join TopMasala @ http://groups. That night when he got home he told his joke. and each night he came home with a new blonde joke. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable. The blonde replies. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA. ma'am. and that stops 'em cold. the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem." State Capitals There was this guy who was married to a blonde. "I'm young. But the reason this cow don't have no horns. quiz me.com/group/TopMasala/ . I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead. She says. is 'cause it's a horse. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach. "What is the capital of Massachusetts?" She quickly replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department. "I'm not so dumb. lady." the voice replied. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach. blonde and beautiful. "M!" Longer Ladder "Send someone over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone." Flustered.topmasala. there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. "They need a longer ladder!" First Class Blondie A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. it's YOU I want!" she yelled. Still.TopMasala.http://www. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. "Two naked men are climbing towards my bedroom window!" "This is the Fire Department.
and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA." The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion. A little while later he looks in his rearview mirror. or I`ll bust up your car.com/group/TopMasala/ . She immediately gets up. When she got to the 999th step. so he stops his truck and walks over to the car.http://www. the blonde replies. and walks over to the car. God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps.com Again. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter heaven. I`m going to bust up your car. but wherever it is. which had also stopped and said. Well.yahoo. "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA. "I'm young. who were watching with rapt attention. and sees the blonde tailgating him again. join TopMasala @ http://groups. says." "I know." Get More fun stuff like this. saying. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No." hugs the co-pilot. "I just got the first joke. "Thank you so much. and that he can take care of the problem. "Why are you laughing?" God asked. blonde and beautiful. and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. and that on every 25th step he would tell them a joke. so she could not enter heaven either. and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde with the co-pilot. Bolnde tailgating! One day a truck driver was driving down a highway when he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a blonde in a little blue car tailgating him. The pilot and flight attendant. this truck driver hated to be tailgated. Then." the blonde replied. He replies." Don't laugh! A brunette. a redhead. it was the blonde's turn. if you don`t stop tailgating me. stop tailgating me. gets out. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend." So he gets back in truck and drives away. it must be bad `cause all the people are leaving. together ask the copilot what he had said to the woman. she started laughing.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.TopMasala.topmasala. so she could not enter heaven. The redhead went next and started laughing on the 350th step. The brunette went first and started laughing on the 150th step. "Hey." The wrong way! A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she`d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. "Hey lady. "I didn't tell a joke. lady. and a blonde were on their way to Heaven. So he stops his truck.
So he stops his truck. and finally. she made for the nearest frozen lake." Then he proceeds to bust up the blonde`s car. "Sure.topmasala.http://www. rips out the steering wheel." Ice fishing! A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. saying. until the car is completely totaled. And the blonde is still laughing.com So he gets back in his truck and drives away. etc. get out. After positioning her footstool. He takes a sledge hammer from his truck. and says. The truck driver rips out the seats.com/group/TopMasala/ . giggling. What is so funny?????" The blonde replies. walks over to the car. A little while later he again looks in his rearview mirror. and you`re still laughing. join TopMasala @ http://groups. she started to make a circular cut in the ice. "Now don`t step out of that circle.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. I just completely totaled your car. Smashing the windshields and windows. hold on tight." So the blonde steps out of her car. and busts all the tires. And the blonde starts laughing. and pounds in the frame. "Lady. and once again the blonde is tailgating him. cuts the brake lines. "Got a good grip on your brush?" asked the blonde. "I stepped out the circle and you didn`t see me!!!!!!!!" The grip! One blonde was painting the ceiling as the other painted the room.yahoo.TopMasala. after getting all the necessary items together. "Well. "Lady. Get More fun stuff like this. She`d seen many books on the subject. And the blonde keeps laughing." said the other blonde. The truck driver walks over to the blonde. I`m taking away the ladder. and the truck driver draws a circle on the roadside. and says.
http://www. he was surprised to find a very attractive blonde behind the wheel. is there a reason that you`re weaving all over the road"? The woman replied. the blonde moved further down the ice and began to cut yet another hole. "Mam. Breathalyzer test! After a wild freeway chase."I`m afraid we`re going to have to give you a Breathalyzer test to see whether or not you`ve been drinking. join TopMasala @ http://groups. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" The blonde." Get More fun stuff like this.yahoo. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled.. looked skyward.TopMasala. No one could decide who should go. sat up her stool. from the heavens. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror." After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off. "No.. thank goodness you`re here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. now quite worried. "I`ll get off. and one was a brunette." Applause ! There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. the officer replied. Ten were blonde. Again. "Ma`am. a voice boomed. "Ma`am.topmasala. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. and tried again to cut her hole.com Suddenly. moved way down to the opposite end of the ice. The voice came once more: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She stopped. that`s your air freshener. When he walked up to the drivers window. from the sky. all of the blondes started clapping. "Is that you. the voice bellowed.com/group/TopMasala/ . Lord?" The voice replied. so finally the brunette said." he said . They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn`t then the rope would break and everyone would die. and said.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. "Oh officer. I`m the Ice-Rink Manager!" Air Freshener !! A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches a `blonde lady` driver. the motorcycle cop waved the speeding sports car over to the curb.
com/group/TopMasala/ Get More fun stuff like this.com/group/TopMasala/ and http://groups.yahoo. you`ve had a couple of stiff ones. Join TopMasala Today at http://groups.yahoo. "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated. The officer opens it up and says. we could have avoided all this hassle. "Lady. She held it up to her face and said." "That`s amazing!"the girl cried. The police officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for her driving license. too!" Watch dogs A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired two new dogs. Her friend said." The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer. the blonde cop said "You dummy. "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman." Driving License A blonde was speeding in a 30 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over and walked up to the car. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. "If you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman. and asked her what their names were. "Why did you give them names like that?" The blonde responded.com | Fun Forum – http://forum. if I had known you were a police officer too. it's got your picture on it!" The blonde frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular mirror down at the bottom. "May I see your licence? Lady. Officer.topmasala. "What else would you name watch dogs?" Police officer A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding."You mean it shows that. "What does it look like?" Officer. handed it back to the driver and said. And.com/group/TopMasala/ . The blonde cop looked in the mirror.com The test was taken and as the officer eyed the results.TopMasala. "Its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it. join TopMasala @ http://groups." Get more fun stuff like this. "You're free to go.http://www.google. he said.
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