FADE IN: Interview audio montage over titles. DAVID LETTERMAN (V.O.) Tell us about yourself where you’re from and how you got started in show business and stuff like that. Where are you from? KRISTEN (V.O) Oh, I’m-I’m from, Los Angeles. Um, I’m a native, it’s sort of, a rarity. Um, both my parents are in the business. JIMMY KIMMEL (V.O.) Our next guest is only eighteen, but already she’s been in movies with Jodie Foster, Robert De Niro, and a very famous vegetarian vampire. Please say hello to Kristen Stewart! OPRAH WINFREY (V.O.) I understand that being in front of the camera, a person can’t know your whole life, but I don’t think -EXT. ON SET - CATCH THAT KID - 2003 KRISTEN STEWART, 12, sits in a chair with pigtails and a part down the middle. KRISTEN - AGE 12 He’s a funny guy, he uh, he . . . (closes one eye and looks up) He brings a lot of personality to the set. You know it’s not just like flat. Like, we’re making a movie now. It’s um. . . (laughs) I mean not that -- I mean. Movie business, very serious, whatever. . . (air quotes) But this is, he’s. . . He’s really cool. TITLE:


THE KRISTEN INQUISITION KRISTEN (V.O) No, I mean we didn’t have any idea that Twilight was going to be. . . EXT. RED CARPET - DAY/NIGHT MONTAGE Fans crowd and line the gates of the red carpet at premieres. KRISTEN, 18, Signs autographs. An aerial shot of a premiere crowd of thousands and flashing lights. KRISTEN (V.O) It just sounds weird to keep saying ’phenomenon’ but I that’s what people . . . are calling it and uh, you know, we didn’t even know they were gonna to make a sequel. So, once we found out that we were even gonna get a chance to make all the movies, let alone them be so enormous. . . INT. INTERVIEW SET - ECLIPSE JUNKET - ITALY KRISTEN, 20, sits in a chair in front of a wall-size poster for the movie Twilight: Eclipse. She wears a black and white blazer and her hair is down. A professional appearance. KRISTEN That was, that was exciting. And then, just to be able to share it with like, literally millions of people man, it’s one of the coolest things I will probably ever do in my . . . professional, life. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) Can you describe your life before and after. . . Bella? KRISTEN (closes one eye and looks up) Um. . . TITLE: I. "Hi I’m Kristen." (applause)


INT. SET - THE LATE SHOW DAVID LETTERMAN Uh. . . The film is called uh, Twilight and it opens tomorrow. And and and uh, for some reason young girls love these books and will go crazy for the movie right? KRISTEN I really hope so. DAVID LETTERMAN I think probably so. KRISTEN I really really hope so. DAVID LETTERMAN This is Twilight, opening tomorrow. Kristen Stewart. INT. INTERVIEW SET - TWILIGHT JUNKET INTERVIEWER Is it possible to prepare yourselves for how your both careers and personal lives, I guess, will change once this movie comes out? KRISTEN, 18, and ROBERT PATTINSON, 22, sit in chairs side by side looking at the interviewer with blank faces. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) Because it’s going to be. . . The interviewer makes an emphatic hand gesture. INTERVIEWER Different, after this opens. The interviewer rests his hand on his chin looking at them with concern.

4. INT./EXT. MONTAGE Fans and paparazzi swarm around Kristen in various clips, while the sound of fans talking, screaming and yelling layers upon itself, increasing until we cut to the paparazzi bound by a gate, yelling her name. TITLE OVER BLACK: twilight World Premiere 11.17.08 EXT. TWILIGHT PREMIERE - LOS ANGELES Close up on Kristen’s face, we see her watch the crowd. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) GUESS WHO WE HAVE HERE? BELLLAAAAA!!!!! The close up zooms out to reveal two interviewers standing on either side of Kristen. Between the two interviewers there are four large hand held microphones. INTERVIEWER 2 Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhh!!! Interviewer 2 points her microphones toward Kristen’s face. KRISTEN HI. . . INTERVIEWER WOW. Fans wave at the camera, holding cameras of their own. INTERVIEWER Does this exceed your expectations? KRISTEN Oh, yeah, absolutely. INTERVIEWER 2 You’re here at your Hollywood premiere, we look forward to many more after this. Interviewer 2 aims both microphones at Kristen’s mouth.


KRISTEN Nice, thanks. INTERVIEWER Kristen’s here, a.k.a. Bella, the fans have been waiting. Fans hold up their cameras over the crowd for pictures. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) BACK IN A SEC. INT. SET - JIMMY KIMMEL SHOW KRISTEN, 18, plops down in the armchair next to Jimmy Kimmel’s desk. He swivels in his chair to face her. JIMMY KIMMEL Kristen um. . . Is it, I mean, really like -He is interrupted by the cheering audience. JIMMY KIMMEL Your fans are very enthusiastic. (audience laughs, he looks out at them) Some might say, they need to calm down a little. The audience laughs louder and he turns back to Kristen. JIMMY KIMMEL Is it weird to suddenly really like in one weekend have like a million obsessed fans? Kristen just looks at him. JIMMY KIMMEL You are probably obsessed with yourself right now. Kristen nods, the audience laughs. JIMMY KIMMEL Every morning you wake up, there you are. The audience laughs.

6. KRISTEN That’s right. . . That’s right. EXT. THEATER - NIGHT Kristen crosses the street to meet a group of fans waiting for her on the other side. KRISTEN! GIRL FAN OH MY GOD!

Kristen hugs the fan. KRISTEN Thanks so much, man. Kristen moves down the line to the next fan. GIRL FAN 2 OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO AWESOME. KRISTEN Thanks. GIRL FAN 2 You don’t even know how much -my God. OH MY GOD. Oh

Kristen touches her forehead with an incredulous smile. GIRL FAN 2 I’M ELAINE. KRISTEN I’m Kristen, nice to meet you. They shake hands. GIRL FAN 3 CAN I HAVE A HUG? I KNOW YOU! REAL! Kristen hugs Girl Fan 3. INT. SET - THE LATE SHOW KRISTEN I’m actually really boring. It’s so funny I was like what am I gonna talk about on Letterman? Uh. . . I spend a lot of -FOR


DAVID LETTERMAN Did, did you tell somebody that? The audience laughs. KRISTEN I -- Myself, over and over. Kristen laughs and Dave looks out at the audience. DAVID LETTERMAN Uh huh. KRISTEN Yeah. Kristen runs her hand through her hair and makes a face. EXT. ADVENTURELAND PREMIERE - DAY KRISTEN, 19, wears a salmon colored dress and turquoise eye shadow with her brown hair back in a bun. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) And you were just talking about the fans, there. Have you got your disguise all ready to go out? Are you used to people kind of, running up to you in the street or anything like that? KRISTEN Um. . . No, I mean I feel like you’re more conspicuous if you cover up. There’s really not a whole lot -- I, I really don’t, I don’t really run into a lot of problems. I, I think I blend in fairly easily. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) Hm. Okay.

EXT. ZATHURA PREMIERE - DAY KRISTEN, 16, stands outside of the theater. Her hair is slightly disheveled. She wears a dark hooded jacket and no makeup.


INTERVIEWER (O.S.) How did you get into acting? KRISTEN Um. . . It kind of, strangely, it wasn’t ever something that I, like, sought after or made a conscious decision this is what I wanna do I wanna be an actress. Um, I was forced to be in a play because everyone had to participate in like the fourth grade and um, and there was an agent in the audience and he uh, just asked if we wanted representation, so. . . INTERVIEWER (O.S.) All right well thank you. TITLE: II. Get Off My Dick (electronic beat over black) CELEB TV HOST (O.S.) As if Kristen Stewart. . . INT. OFFICE A young woman stands in front of a cubicle speaking straight ahead to the camera. A few pictures of celebrities are posted on the wall behind her. CELEB TV HOST . . .Wasn’t having a bad enough week already. First, the pregnancy rumors, now we’re hearing that Robert Pattinson has dumped his Bella. A picture of Kristen Stewart shows up on the screen next to footage of Robert Pattinson posing on the red carpet. CELEB TV HOST (V.O.) Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have reportedly been heating things up off-screen. . .


The cover of a tabloid magazine fills the screen with a mash-up of a photo of Kristen looking upset and a photo of Rob looking smug. Under their photos large font reads: IT’S OVER! CELEB TV HOST (V.O.) . . .But now comes word R-Pattz has ended their relationship. She’s crushed and he’s already moved on to Emily DeRavin his costar in Remember Me, the movie they’re shooting in New York. INT. INTERVIEW SET - ECLIPSE JUNKET - GERMANY KRISTEN But. . . It’s weird because I’ve grown up like looking at tabloids in the market, like you go into the store and like, you know, all of, you know like, Brad and Angelina, all that stuff it’s like -- I can’t believe I’m one of those people now? EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT Paparazzi surround the car parked a few steps outside the exit. Kristen appears in the doorway and her bodyguard leads her by the shoulder to the open car door. Cameras flash and click. PAPARAZZO KRISTEN! PAPARAZZO 2 Ay, watch the elbow, watch the elbow. A car honks. KRISTEN! PAPARAZZO KRISTEN!



INT. JFK AIRPORT - NEW YORK Kristen walks quickly past ticketing surrounded by the paparazzi. Together they form a small crowd. She is led by her bodyguard, with her assistant and publicist behind her. Kristen holds a notebook up to one side of her face. PAPARAZZO Go back go back go back. . . A parazzo falls to the ground and Kristen throws a fist in the air in celebration. KRISTEN OH! YEAH! She She turns back to face him but keeps walking forward. cups her hand and the notebook as she shouts. KRISTEN DAMN! But the paparazzo gets up and continues to photograph her. She keeps walking and hangs her head in shame, her arms limp at her sides. PAPARAZZO 2 Goin’ down a paparazzi! PAPARAZZO Kristen I got that on video! Kristen I got that on video! BODYGUARD GUYS, DON’T BLOCK ME. PAPARAZZO 2 I’ll fall for you! INT. JFK AIRPORT - NEW YORK TITLE OVER: KRISTEN CAUSES A COLLISION POPSUGAR HOST Kristen causes a collision. The footage replays Kristen’s celebration.


KRISTEN OH! YEAH! PAPARAZZO (O.S.) Yeah, she loves it! Ha ha! KRISTEN DAMN! The footage is muted and begins to play in slow motion, an arrow flashing on the screen to call attention to the fallen paparazzo. POPSUGAR HOST Shouting after not one but at least two photographers stumbled while trying to snap a pic when she arrived in New York City Monday night. EXT. ECLIPSE PREMIERE - RED CARPET - DAY Kristen wears a white one-armed dress and short dark brown hair, a more "kept" look than we’ve seen so far. KRISTEN I don’t know recently, ugh, I don’t know. They’ve changed. I saw girls like, actually getting hurt at the last few ones. Kristen speaks to a different reporter down the line. KRISTEN I feel like, I feel really bad that I’m put on this weird pedestal like (looks down the line of cameras, the crowd) I have to show up dressed like this all of a sudden I’m so different to them but like, there’s no difference. I feel like, I feel like if we could -- I would love to take that away, because then they would understand me more and, it would be, I don’t know. It would be way more satisfying. RUTH, 35, Kristen’s publicist, takes her by the shoulder and points to their next location. She speaks inaudibly to Kristen.

12. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) Thank you. Kristen steps back and lets her publicist guide her but she doesn’t look to where she is pointing. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) Thanks Kristen! EXT. KRISTEN’S HOUSE - NIGHT A car pulls up to the curb and Kristen gets out of the passenger door. She slows her steps toward her house when a bright light turns on in front of her. She looks up and sees a three strangers on the sidewalk blocking her path. Two of them are women holding posters, the third is a man with a video camera holding the light above his head. YOUNG WOMAN Kristen, we drove all the way from Las Vegas, there’s only two of us. Please? KRISTEN (exhausted) Sure, yeah, no problem. YOUNG WOMAN I’m so sorry about this. The young woman holds out a poster and a permanent marker. Kristen takes the marker and begins to sign. KRISTEN Yeah, no, it’s just. . . You know, you’re in front of my house, it’s just. . . YOUNG WOMAN We won’t tell anybody where you live. Thank you. KRISTEN (looks up to the camera, pointing) He won’t tell anybody where I live, either. . . The older of the two women appears in the shot holding out a poster. Kristen signs it. The young woman holds out another poster and Kristen signs it absentmindedly.

13. KRISTEN Okay I gotta, I gotta go. . . Kristen starts to walk around them. out a poster. YOUNG WOMAN Can you do the poster? KRISTEN Sure, yeah, you know, no problem. (finishes signing) Here you go. The older woman steps in closer and holds out a picture. Kristen signs it. YOUNG WOMAN One more? KRISTEN (walking around them) No. . . CAMERA MAN Hey congratulations on Adventureland. KRISTEN Thanks a lot. Kristen walks to the house. INT. INTERVIEW SET - MTV ROUGH CUT The room is set up like a living room. sits in a chair opposite Kristen, 20. JOSH HOROWITZ, 28, The young woman holds

JOSH Okay so this is bizarre to me, maybe it’s less bizarre to you. But this is the question I got the most. Are you aware of what a, a ’Krisbian’ is? KRISTEN Yeah, yeah, I can’t lie about that, I totally can’t lie about that. Yeah. Oh my God, yeah. TITLE: The Krisbians


INT. ROOM - DAY A young girl, maybe 13, stands in the center of the frame, head and shoulders. She looks into the lens when she speaks. KRISBIAN 1 A while ago, I started cutting all the pictures I could find out of magazines, of Kristen Stewart, and started piling them on a billboard, like this: Cut away to a shot of a large pink poster lying on her bedroom floor, partially covered with photographs of Kristen. KRISBIAN 1 I’m gonna tape it up, and I’m gonna put it on my wall. CUT TO: KRISBIAN 1 If you don’t know what a Krisbian is, it’s a Kristen Stewart lesbian. INT. INTERVIEW SET - NEW MOON JUNKET Kristen sits in a chair in front of a poster for the movie The Twilight Saga: New Moon. KRISTEN What we’re focused on is what they’re focused on -- I mean, they’re obsessed with Bella, they’re not obsessed with me. Kristen looks into the camera and the frame freezes on her eye contact with us. TITLE: III. Media Training PAPARAZZO (V.O.) Hey Kristen!

15. EXT. CLUB - NIGHT Kristen sits in the driver’s seat of her black mini cooper. She has her hood up and uses it to shield the light from the paparazzi as she tries to drive out of the parking lot. PAPARAZZO (O.S.) Hey Kristen, are you okay to drive? You’re not drunk, are you? Kristen drives away. As she passes by the paparazzi we see DAKOTA FANNING, 16, in the passenger seat trying to hide. INT. SET - ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION The two show hosts stand on set. The poster for the movie The Runaways shows up on the large TV screen behind them. HOST Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning become famous rockers Joan Jett and Cherie Currie in the new movie, The Runaways. INT. HOTEL ROOM - SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL - DAY Josh Horowitz sits next to Kristen Stewart on a couch holding a microphone. JOSH And can you pinpoint anything for me that you will carry with you, you think? KRISTEN I, I think I’m just a little bit more sensitive to -- I, I’m so. . . If you looked at a girl wrong, now? I would fly across the room and kill you. INT. HOTEL LOBBY - SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL - DAY Kristen and Dakota stand opposite an interviewer from E! Online. E! ONLINE GUY Everyone’s gonna be talking about it when the movie comes out. You guys share a kiss on screen.


INT. HOTEL LOBBY - SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL - CONTINUOUS Kristen and Dakota stand opposite an interviewer from Access Hollywood. ACCESS HOLLYWOOD GUY We were talking about the kissing scene between you guys. Is that, was that tough? Or, was it just because of the whole thing with having to wear. . . KRISTEN Ugh. . . It was so tough. . . Dakota laughs. INT. HOTEL ROOM - SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL - NIGHT Kristen and Dakota sit in chairs side by side for an interview with a different interviewer, a woman, from Access Hollywood. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) Well I gotta ask you guys about the kissing scene. (beat) Tell me ’bout that. Kristen raises an eyebrow and Dakota smiles. KRISTEN You wanna see it? Dakota laughs. CUT TO: KRISTEN Well, she is fifteen, and I, I wasn’t allowed to grope her. I’m actually not kidding. This is like, like there are major restrictions. DAKOTA Mmhmm. CUT TO:


INTERVIEWER (O.S.) That’s interesting though about the groping law or rule or whatever. DAKOTA Groping law. Kristen laughs. KRISTEN I mean that was supposed to be funny, it wasn’t like, a serious thing. . . It’s quite in here. Kristen and Dakota smile. EXT. RED CARPET - SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL - DAY Kristen stands with three microphones held out in front of her and two cameras pointed at her. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) What was it like, getting naughty with Dakota? Kristen pretends to think really hard, scratching her head and grabbing her chin. The interviewers laugh and then she drops her hands to consider the question seriously. KRISTEN Uh. . . EXT. ECLIPSE PREMIERE - RED CARPET - NIGHT Kristen stands with three large microphones held close to her face. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) So out of everyone, Jacob, Edward, and of course Dakota, too, who was the best kisser? KRISTEN (looks down at a microphone smiling) Dakota. Ruth steps in, taking Kristen by the arm.


RUTH Thank you, thank you. KRISTEN No I’m kidding. . . Kristen looks over to one of the interviewers, smiling as Ruth pulls her away. INT. INTERVIEW SET - THE RUNAWAYS Kristen and Dakota sit side by side with a large poster for The Runaways behind them. KRISTEN Whenever it wasn’t coming from the right place she’d be like, Kristen, pussy to the wood, fuck your guitar! I was like ohhh kayyy. So when you have Joan Jett telling you to fuck your guitar. . . Yeah, I liked it. EXT. ECLIPSE PREMIERE - RED CARPET - DAY INTERVIEWER (O.S.) Kristen what do you have to say to girls about their body image? Kristen scrunches her face, disgusted. KRISTEN Be healthy and fuck everyone, seriously like, whatever. Kristen takes a step down the line of interviewers and runs into her publicist. Kristen turns back to the interviewer. KRISTEN Should I give you another one without that? I would say, be healthy, and don’t care what anyone thinks because, like, it doesn’t matter. Kristen turns back to her publicist. KRISTEN Yeah, ’fuck everyone’. sorry. I know,


INT. BEDROOM - DAY TITLE: The Krisbians The camera is held by KRISBIAN 2. She approaches a life-size cardboard cut out of Kristen Stewart. KRISBIAN 2 (O.S.) This is my roommate. When I come home from school, I give her a hug, every day. (touches the hair on the cut out) I know it’s weird, but I do. INT. INTERVIEW SET - NEW MOON JUNKET Kristen sits in a chair in front of a poster for the movie The Twilight Saga: New Moon. KRISTEN They’re obsessed with Bella, they’re not obsessed with me. The clip is cut up and rearranged. It plays:

KRISTEN I mean they’re obsessed with me, they’re not obsessed with Bella. EXT. STREET - DAY A paparazzo runs up to Kristen’s car, bringing the lens of the video camera all the way up to the window. EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT Kristen walks out to light a cigarette. paparazzi waiting for her. KRISTEN Oh, shit. . . She turns back to go inside. The paparazzi sprint after her. she sees the


INT. SET - THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW OPRAH WINFREY And you seem to be, you know, there’s so much written about you being shy. Kristen smiles. OPRAH WINFREY So, does it feel overwhelming to you? Is it difficult for you to just fully embrace it? KRISTEN I get so nervous. And, uh --

OPRAH WINFREY (stands up with open arms) Okay, let me, let me give you a hug. Now we see Kristen sitting with Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner on either side of her. Kristen gets up and hugs Oprah in front of Rob. Rob and Taylor laugh. Oprah pats Kristen on the back, rocking her back and forth as she hugs her. OPRAH WINFREY It’s okay. . . It’s okay. . . Oprah lets go of Kristen and laughs. INT. HOTEL ROOM - SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL - DAY Kristen sits on the couch with Josh Horowitz. KRISTEN Yeah, I can’t walk up and down the street and walking up and down main street is, sort of like why it’s cool -- like, you know you see everybody and you see like what’s going on and I just drive up -- I drive everywhere. (beat) Ugh. . . I’m gonna start crying. Kristen ducks her head and shields her face with her jacket.


EXT. STREET - NIGHT Kristen walks down the sidewalk, closely followed by her bodyguard. Paparazzi lights flash from all sides. She passes TWO GIRLS calling after her. GIRL FAN 4 She’s crying for you Kristen. GIRL FAN 5 (sobbing) Kristen, please. . . Kristen stops, hunched over and faces them. A paparazzo runs in and takes her photo. Her bodyguard takes her by the shoulders and guides her away from them. GIRL FAN 5 Kristen. . . Kristen runs with her bodyguard to a car waiting in the middle of the street. A few men with lights and cameras stand close to the car as she gets in. The bodyguard opens the passenger side door for her. still has her by the arm. KRISTEN Let me go let me go. The bodyguard lets go and she gets in. He gets in the car after her and shuts the door. The car speeds away. INT./EXT. MONTAGE KRISTEN (V.O) You have to make adjustments, you have to be self-aware. I mean you can’t suddenly think that you can just continue living like a normal person, I know that sounds weird. But, I haven’t changed who I am and I haven’t changed any of the things that I do and you just have to sort of switch up where you do them. You know, like you just can’t go to certain places. But I’ve, like, I’ve. . . Now traveled the world, and worked with some of the most -- People that, people that make me want to do what I do. (MORE) He


KRISTEN (V.O) (CONT’D) It is satisfying to reach people. I know that it seems crazy from an outsider’s perspective, it must be like the media must be so hard to handle, but it’s not it’s like, it’s only when I’m promoting a movie. And it all looks -- it’s all fake. Really it doesn’t, it, it’s fake. CREDITS Paparazzi footage next to name credits over black, no audio from clips, song over all. MORE TO CONSIDER: INT. INTERVIEW SET - ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY INTERVIEWER And what about the rumors that you’ve been dating your costar? KRISTEN Think about every hypothetical situation: Okay, we are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian. (beat) I’m just trying to keep something. If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I’d be like fuck off! I would answer the exact same way. EXT. RED CARPET - SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL - DAY Kristen, 19, stands next to JESSE EISENBERG, 25. A large microphone with the word NEWS written on the side is held out in front of her. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) Kristen, we heard about Joan Jett and The Runaways movie. Are you excited about that or what? KRISTEN I’m like, vibrating, I’m so excited about that. In this case I’m (MORE)


KRISTEN (CONT’D) really exceedingly more excited than normal. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) I love Joan Jett, I’ve seen her in concert a few times. Have you been perfecting certain songs of hers? Being with her all the time? KRISTEN Yeah, I spent new years with her. Um. . . Like, hours on a bathroom floor just like -(tilts head, eyes widen) Um. . . So yeah, it’s pretty great. INT. INTERVIEW SET - NEW MOON JUNKET - SYDNEY INTERVIEWER Taylor Lautner had an easier time with the press in Sydney than you did, flipping the bird at the paparazzi. Do you think the boys get off more lightly than you do? KRISTEN I’ve thought about it. There’s no way of knowing. I mean, it’s not all girls that get ’it’, either. And I’m not even sure exactly what the ’it’ we’re talking about is. INTERVIEWER You cop a lot of flak. KRISTEN Yeah. I don’t know what it is. I’ve never said anything bad about anyone. Maybe it’s because people in my position put on a face and really tend to play a different part. INTERVIEWER The negative attention must be bruising.


KRISTEN It just is what it is. People say, ’Why don’t you just play a part, choose a public persona?’ But I’m not that good a liar. I would hate myself if I did that. If people have a problem, that’s fine. I’m glad I don’t have a problem with myself. SOME NOTES: It is important to acknowledge the fact that the fans are in countries all over the world. They often travel to the U.S. just to see Kristen. There have been three big topics of speculation in Kristen’s personal life by the media: that she smokes pot, that she is gay and that she is dating Robert Pattinson. Two truths and a lie? The fans convinced that Kristen is gay know that her publicist’s name is Ruth. They call Ruth "The Closet Keeper" and like to call her out on it in photos/videos when she is "tucking in the gay" on Kristen. Ruth has a twitter @PublicistRuth but it hasn’t been updated since January 30th. When she was on it, she taunted fans and communicated with Kristen’s assistant and bodyguard about Kristen and their jobs. Kristen’s bodyguard’s twitter, also dead for some time, is @HottieGuard. Her assistant is @AssistantJohn. Kristen hates twitter. Ruth, John, and the bodyguard who is to remain named The Bodyguard otherwise known as Hottieguard, follow two fan-run twitter accounts dedicated to Kristen. I’ve decided this is an inside joke. Nicknames: Robsten = Robert Pattinson + Kristen Stewart. Gaystew = Photos and videos of Kristen fulfilling the expected behaviors of the stereotypical lesbian. K-Stew = A nickname Kristen dislikes that has been adopted by fans and the media.


INT. INTERVIEW SET Separate interviews, inter cut. RUTH John started calling me Ruthie and now Kristen picked up on it. They think it’s funny because I can get very serious and the name, Ruthie, how can you take that seriously? HOTTIEGUARD I got Kristen Stewart’s back when fans attack. JOHN Yeah, he calls himself ’Hottieguard’. We try to humor him on that one. RUTH I am with Kristen on every interview. I’m the person she’s glancing at off camera right after she’s said something sarcastic. And I’ll just wave like, ’Hi! Remember me?’ HOTTIEGUARD I do not like the paparazzi. One or two at a time, we don’t care. When they block me, they block Kristen, they shout rude comments, it’s frustrating, for lack of a better term. JOHN The fans are generally very nice to me, I’ve had good experiences with the fans. RUTH I look online a lot. It can be very stressful for Kristen to go online and see what’s being written about her so I give her updates when she needs them. And sometimes she doesn’t want them but, c’est la vie. HOTTIEGUARD Events are pretty much under control. We got the gates up, (MORE)


HOTTIEGUARD (CONT’D) whole teams of security and all that jazz, but the airports, the talk shows, the size of the crowds can be dangerous and that’s when we need to be ready for anything, really. JOHN Some of them know my name, they want a picture with me, they give me little bracelets and things to give to Kristen, little notes. I got a note once, for me. (smiles) HOTTIEGUARD We were at a book signing in Brazil and I had to literally carry Kristen out of the bookstore. Those are what we unofficially call the rabid fans, pulling at her clothes and such. So yeah, just picked her up, got her out of there. RUTH We’re at a premiere and Kristen tells me she’s dying in her heels. We don’t have another pair of shoes for her so I say sort of jokingly, ’What? You wanna take ’em off?’ And she says ’yes’ very seriously and I’m thinking oh God, now I have to let her take them off. HOTTIEGUARD No, I’ve never been hurt on the job. But the concern is always for Kristen’s safety, first. I mean, they’re not after me, you know? (beat) Well, I get in their way on purpose because that’s part of my job. . . And then they’re after me. RUTH So I tell her, ’They’re going to photograph you,’ and she says, ’I don’t give a shit.’


INT. SET - HALLWAY JOHN, RUTH, and The Bodyguard otherwise known as HOTTIEGUARD, walk down a long hallway. John listens to an iPod. He wears a backpack, a zip-up hooded sweatshirt and jeans. Ruth wears a dark blazer and dress pants, carries a purse and fiddles with her various electronic devices: a bluetooth earpiece, a blackberry, an iPhone. The Bodyguard wears an earpiece with a coiled wire tucked into the collar of his white shirt and a suit. He carries his sunglasses and a cell phone. JOHN I’m your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb! RUTH Stop listening to the runaways soundtrack and guard our girl! You think Hottieguard over here plays these games? JOHN I told you I do whatever Kris wants. She says jump, I jump she says sing Cherry Bomb, I sing. (to self) Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch -- That Robert Pattinson is somethin’ else I tell ya. HOTTIEGUARD He’s a good boy John. Leave him alone. (to Ruth) Crack a smile every once in a while Ruthie. RUTH Oh how I love to watch the masses go with wild interest. . . I don’t. HOTTIEGUARD Crowd control is a bitch.

The Bodyguard opens the door to the outside as they reach the end of the hallway. The bodyguard clears a ten foot path through the paparazzi between the car and the building. The backseat car door opens and The Bodyguard helps Kristen out. Ruth and John wait in the doorway.

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