The Value of One-on-One
Recognizing Present Awareness
The benefits of recognizing presence are living with a mind that is at peace, a heart full of love and compassion for others, and the end of looking for happiness outside ourselves.
©2011 The Kiloby Group
The Value of One-on-One Through the years, I’ve changed how I talk about liberation. Liberation is just a word or description of the experiential freedom one realizes when he or she is no longer identified with thought and no longer identified with being a separate person. Liberation is, in a nutshell, the seeing through of the belief in separation. Why is liberation important for humanity? ...because separation is the root cause of personal suffering, seeking, and conflict. Are you seeking this depth of freedom? To know more about what liberation is and what this site is about, go here. Liberation is available to anyone who is open to looking at her present experience in a different way. It is no longer accessible only to gurus or long-term meditators. This is what excites me, the possibility that anyone can experience real freedom in her life. Through the years, I've written books, held meetings all over the U.S. and overseas, put up videos and audios, and posted writings on this site. These are fine and will continue to be available. But more than anything else—more than being known as a teacher, traveling around, having a website or web presence, making money, selling books—I’m interested in actually helping people. I’m interested, more than anything else, in concentrating on providing the most benefit to people in the most direct and helpful way. I would shut down my site today if I knew of a better way to help more people, more directly. Here are the issues with the ways in which spirituality is often addressed: Books: Books can be helpful! But no matter who the author is or how clear the book is, there is a tendency to take the words of the book as truth or take them on as beliefs. The author or teacher is not there to clarify what is being said when something is interpreted in a way the author or teacher did not intend. Also, books are general writings that give explanations rather than injunctions. In other words, they often talk ABOUT non-duality, Oneness, awakening, or liberation as a subject, instead of giving very pointed injunctions that help the reader actually look into her own experience. Talking about liberation, as a subject, including what it looks and feels like is very different than bringing the reader to an experiential discovery of freedom. Videos, audios, and writings suffer from the same limitations as books.
Meetings: These can also be helpful! In meetings, people can speak to each other or a person can sit at the front of the room and point to awareness/presence/freedom. But very often, those attending focus too much on the person doing the pointing. So often, the teacher becomes the focus of the meeting, rather than the experiential discovery that is available to anyone and everyone in the room. Quite often, I hear stories from people who are intrigued by the personality of a teacher or a teacher's "presence." This turns one's focus away from the fact that the very same freedom the teacher is experiencing is actually available to the person attending the meeting. And if teachers do not deconstruct these kinds of projections, then the guru/student or teacher/seeker phenomenon gets solidified. The focus stays on the teacher or the teacher's message or the school, teaching, or group associated with the message, rather than the real possibility of awakening, which is available to anyone who will look into her own experience. Also, in meetings, it is more difficult to meet people where they are individually. The teacher is often speaking in such general terms that it is not beneficial enough. The message gets watered down into a sort of generalized sharing. Even if one goes to a meeting to "experience the presence at the meeting," this is just an experience. All experiences come and go. The point is to recognize presence as always and already present, no matter whether one is attending a meeting or cooking dinner at home or at work. Also, the presence at the meeting is often interpreted as "the teacher's presence." It is personalized and assigned to the character in the front of the room. This places presence as something apart from the participant's own experience, something that belongs to the teacher. By projecting it outward onto the teacher, the participant of the meeting overlooks that presence is immediate available within and as his own experience. In meetings, if the teacher doesn't deconstruct these projections, people may leave with the sense that the teacher owns a sort of divine presence. This solidifies the separation between the participant and the teacher, and makes presence seem out of reach. For years, enlightenment has been made into an unattainable thing, partly because of these kinds of issues continuing to happen in meetings. The Value of One on One The one thing that I have found that helps more than anything else is meeting people in one-on-one sessions either on the phone, in person, or on skype. Something happens in a one-on-one session that doesn’t always happen in meetings, or through reading books or watching videos. I can meet people where they are. I’m amazed at how rare the recognition of basic awareness really is. I’m surprised, when I meet with people, how often they overlook this basic awareness, not realizing just how beneficial that recognition is. Recognizing basic awareness really sets someone free to no longer identify with the painful but temporary thoughts, emotions, and sensations that come
through. And for those who have had that basic recognition of awareness, I find that many are still experiencing separation. For example, I often find myself talking to someone who recognizes basic awareness as a formless “observing” that is always present. Yet this same person will report a sense of oscillation—a movement back and forth between recognizing awareness and getting locked up or caught in personal suffering, seeking, or conflict (i.e., the sense of separation). I speak a lot about oscillation in my Living Realization E-book. Meeting a person one-on-one allows me to see where the person is, so to speak. Is she unable to recognize basic awareness as that which observes all phenomena? Is she able to recognize this basic awareness but unable to see that all phenomena are inseparable (none other than) the basic awareness? Is she still experiencing oscillation? Is she way too detached from life? Is she stuck in an extreme dualistic viewpoint? Is she substituting beliefs for real, experiential awakened freedom? Is she projecting onto me, as a teacher, believing that I own presence? It is hard to address these very specific questions except through one-on-one sessions. If you are interested, see the Contact page of this site. I also recommend that you read the Living Realization E-book before meeting with me. There is a lot of basic information in that book and much of that information is used in one-on-one sessions. You may also want to read these writings on this site: Boomerang Inquiry (dealing with relationships) and the Unfindable Object Inquiry (a pointed inquiry that helps see through the notion of separation). These resources can provide you with important information about the kind of process I will take you through in our one-on-one session. A series of one-on-one sessions can really set someone free to look into her own experience. It can save a lot of unnecessary seeking, book-buying, guru-following, and extensive and intensive practices and methods that go on for years. This is ultimately what freedom is about, in my view. It is not about being tied to a teaching or practice or book or teacher for years or decades. It is not about a one-time experience of freedom either. It is about receiving a few basic tools that allow a person to see for herself that freedom is always and already present. That kind of discovery frees the person even from the tools and the teaching itself eventually.
Scott Kiloby is the author of "Reflections of the One Life: Daily Pointers to Enlightenment." and "Love's Quiet Revolution: The End of the Spiritual Search". He is also the creator of an addiction/recovery method called Natural Rest. His book, "The Natural Rest Method: A Revolutionary, Simple Way to Overcome Any Addiction ," is scheduled for release in 2011. Scott is a noted author and international speaker who travels all over the world giving talks in which those attending experience nondual presence. In these meetings, every position and belief gets challenged, including every belief about the self, others, and the world, and also all of our ideas about spirituality. This leaves those attending completely open to allow the present moment to unfold in a new way, free of identification with thought. The point of the meetings is to allow each person attending to go home and discover for themselves the freedom Scott's message is pointing to. Scott is simplifying and demystifying the message of enlightenment or "non-duality". He is reaching out to all people who are suffering or seeking or cannot seem to find fulfillment in this life no matter where they go or what they do. He is communicating to them that freedom is available and that it is actually contained in their very presence, yet it is overlooked. Scott's main website is www.kiloby.com. It contains writings, videos, and audio interviews with a wide diversity of teachers, authors, scientists, and psychologists. Scott also has a brand new web site at www.livingrealization.org. This site contains a really popular new e-book/method written by Scott called Living Realization.
©2011 The Kiloby Group