Newspaper of the Socialist Revolutionary Group We are living at a time when many excitable young people are drawn to the false ideas of anarchism as a way of changing the system. But what is anarchism and why is it so shit?

Issue Two April 2011 £1/50p Meet our guest editor…

believe in organisation. They just want everyone to be able to do their own thing. Also, they smell. Have you ever been near them on a protest? Pheeew.

Once, when I was 16, my Anarchism, or autonomism girlfriend left me for an as it is also known, is a radical anarchist because he was in a tradition that developed in the band. You should’ve heard the music that the kids 19th century in countries wearing anarchist badges where everyone was too were into. It was fucking stupid to read. rubbish. Any movement “Graffiti”, named after the whose teenage adherents the anarchist guerilla listen to Green Day is Buenaventura Graffiti who fundamentally flawed. fought in the Spanish Civil Many in the student War, is one of the movement cornerstones of have been anarchist theory. drawn to His “Graffiti anarchist Column” methods like travelled around consensus Spain decision vandalising shop making, fronts while the Facebook, unions were and organising veganism. These guys are all fucking dumb production and It is a training workers’ measure of the intellectual militias. bankruptcy of anarchism that Anarchists believe that trade Johnny Rotten, a major unions are boring, but it’s not anarchist theorist in the true. Once I went to a gig 1970s, now appears on butter organised by a union and it adverts and supports the royal was alright. And what about wedding! Workers’ Beer, eh? Want to “smash capitalism”? The main problem with Subscribe to the Smirker! autonomists is that they don’t

…Chris Bambery My name is Chris Antonio Bambery, and it is with a sense of great pride that I edit this edition of the labour movement’s finest newspaper, the Weekly Smirker. My position as editor of Socialist Worker for many years means I have a journalistic pedigree almost unrivalled in the movement. When the SRG called me up and asked me to put something together I was so excited that I just had to tell the SWP where to go. A lot of people say to me, “Who are you?” Then they ask why I felt I had to leave the SWP. Let’s get one thing clear. It absolutely was not because Martin Smith was mean to me. I can give as good as I get. Rather, I was concerned with the party’s systematic retreat from giving me important things to do. I mean, Right to Work? What a fucking joke. Am I right? Thank you, I’m here all week.

New Marxist group formed in Scotland
Scottish working class commits mass suicide in despair Scotland was awash with a tide of indifference this week as a new Marxist group announced its formation north of the border. It is believed that members of the new International Socialist Group (Scotland) are the same people who left the SWP a week ago, but as their founding statement doesn’t mention anything to do with that, it is possible that they just fell fully formed off a tree somewhere. The new group should not be confused with the International Socialists (now Socialist Party Scotland) or the International Socialist Group (British Section of the Fourth International) (now Socialist Resistance) or indeed the old Internatrional Socialism Group (now the SWP). James, an Aberdeen bus worker, welcomed the split: “The ruling class have four parties in Scotland - Labour, Tory, LibDem, SNP. I think it’s great that the working class now finally has the same number of parties to choose from.” Not everyone is so enthusiastic, however. An anonymous Fred Perryclad worker said: “Why doesn’t the filthy wrecker just suck it up and join Counterfire?” We in the SRG welcome this latest split from the SWP. Polemicising against another group will help us to clarify our already correct ideas and perhaps push our membership into double figures. For more on our position see our pamphlet, The Solidarity of Schadenfreude and the Schadenfreude of Solidarity.

Bashar al-Assad to stand in Holyrood election
Embattled Syrian president Bashar alAssad is to stand for election to the Scottish Parliament in May. Assad will be standing on a bold platform of opposing all cuts, maybe, but probably not really. Former MP George Galloway said: “The people of Glasgow would be lucky to have Bashar al-Assad as their leader. “He will be a breath of fresh air. He is the last Arab leader. People believe that his reforming zeal and his vision of Glasgow as a genuinely independent Arab country… was one that was widely appreciated across Europe.” He added: “We are with him until victory, until Jerusalem.” It is believed that Assad will be standing on the ticket International Scottish Socialist Solidarity (Assad) Ba’athists Against Cuts.

An anarchist responds
There’s been a lot of criticism of anarchism in the Leninist press recently. How would you respond to that? Leave me alone, man. Can you defend the use of the Black Bloc tactic on March 26th, which has been criticised by many in the workers’ movement? Seriously, like, it’s not even noon. Have you seen an eighth lying around somewhere? What would you say to those people who feel intimidated by people around them “masking up” on demos? We’ve gotta start putting locks on the door of the squat…

What’s your strategy for the anti-cuts movement? Well, I think we need to be more prepared to take direct action. I think we should concentrate on community organising alongside public sector strikes, rather than looking to do everything through the unions and perhaps alienating service users. Organising the unemployed…I’m afraid that’s all we have room for.