SICKNESS LEVEL 90

+
Written by:
Tom Scilipoti

410-236-8256
tomscilipoti@gmail.com

FADE IN.
INT. CROSS MANSION - BEDROOM - DUSK
A tall black book with “UP ALL FORTNIGHT" by "Tom Scilipoti"
written in hot pink rests comfortably in the petite hands of
a silky, sexy, enchanting young woman (20). She is MAGGIE
CROSS.
Maggie wearing a sundress and flip-flops, sits in lotus
position as she reads from the book.
SCILS (V.O)
Being a little crazy is necessary
for our survival because it’s like
Seal said, "But we are never gonna
survive unless we get a little
crazy."
Maggie laughs out loud.
SCILS (O.S)
"Seal, who is that? I’ve never
heard of this Seal. Must be an
amateur.” Deduced Doctor Meswami.
We pan around Maggie’s ample, luxurious room. Plenty of pics
featuring her crew of hot, affluent friends in various
privileged locations...the beach, the sorority house, Cape
Cod. There’s a framed, autographed "Now and Then" poster.
Shelf stocked with books, a few framed family pics that
reveal a stout, domineering father, sorority mother, tough
thick seventeen year old brother, cute little five year old
brother.
SCILS (V.O)
Seal’s only an iconic member of
90’s pop culture. Never heard
“Kissed by a Rose” or “Fly like an
Eagle”? An amateur? More like a
transcontinental muse. The guy’s
married to Heidi Klum. Living proof
that love is blind.
The page turns.
SCILS (V.O)
"I don’t listen to music. I believe
it has no practical value."
Declared the Lebanese shrink.
The text is revealed on the screen.

2.

SCILS (V.O)
It makes sense that you would say
that because Missy Elliot was
right--music make you lose control.
Kid’s like music, therapists like
control. So I can see why you don’t
like music--it makes kids lose
control.
Maggie giggles. A hard knock on the door instantly startles
her.
MRS. CROSS (O.S)
Margaret, your father’s ready for
us.
MAGGIE
Tell him I’ll be down in literally
like three and a half minutes.
MRS. CROSS (O.S)
Margaret.
MAGGIE
(annoyed)
Yeah.
MRS. CROSS (O.S)
You know he’s not gonna believe
that. Our res is seven sharp dear,
so any second now would be nice.
MAGGIE
Well maybe if you’d leave me alone,
I could finish getting ready!
MRS.CROSS (O.S)
Ugh, tick tock Margaret Sophia.
Your daddy’s waiting.
EXT. WOODS - DUSK
A short, stout boy (22) appears from out of the forest in a
sport coat, spitting tobacco juice. He’s handsome despite
his double chin, freshly shaven with a few cuts on his olive
skin. He is TOM SCILIPOTI aka SCILS.
Alongside Scils walks another collegian (22) in an Adbusters
T-shirt of the American Flag of Corporations and oceanic,
baby blue eyes. He is ADAM BOUNVITA. Buonvita lights up an
American Spirit.

3.
BUONVITA
Been getting into the Gnostic
Gospels lately.
SCILS
Fuck yeah dude.
BUONVITA
Ignorance is sin, wisdom is
salvation.
SCILS
Changed my whole perspective on
shiiit. You check out the Gospel of
Thomas?
BUONVITA
(mid drag of cig)
Yeah it was dope.
SCILS
Pure flow, no immaculate
conceptions. Sickness level through
the roof.
Scils spits tobacco juice.
BUONVITA
Yeah all my teachers ever did was
shit on Thomas for being a doubter.
SCILS
Like empirical inquiry was such a
bad thing to the Hellenistic Greek
audience John was writing to.
BUONVITA
For real.
SCILS
Thomas means "twin" in Aramaic.
BUONVITA
Didymus means "twin" in Greek. He
was actually JC’s closest
disciple.
SCILS
Word.
Scils’s Verizon Razor ring tone sounds off--"This is the way
I live" by Baby Boy Da Prince. Scils takes a pregnant pause
before he answers.

4.

SCILS
Hey Maggie.
BUONVITA
Maggie?
MAGGIE (O.S)
Hi Tom. Sorry I missed your call
earlier.
SCILS
It’s okay. I knew you’d call me
back. You always do.
MAGGIE (O.S)
I do.
SCILS
I’ve noticed. Just can’t figure out
why.
MAGGIE (O.S)
Ha. Maybe just maybe it’s because
you’re always so good to me.
SCILS
I’m a Romanticist.
MAGGIE (O.S)
(laughing)
You sure are, Tommy Scils. Guess
what?
SCILS
Um, you’re getting physically ill
from missing me so much?
MAGGIE (O.S)
Ha, maybe a little. I got my
haircut today.
SCILS
Noice. Did you get an up-doo?
MAGGIE (O.S)
Well considering I don’t have any
senior proms coming up, no I did
not get an up doo.
SCILS
Well you don’t have any senior
proms coming up yet.

5.

MAGGIE (O.S)
Whaaaaat?
INT. CROSS ESTATE - BEDROOM - DUSK
A tall black book with “UP ALL FORTNIGHT" by "Tom Scilipoti"
written in hot pink rests beside the king sized bed of a
silky, sexy, enchanting young woman (20). She is MAGGIE
CROSS--the sweet, charming girl next door type, only she
lives in the mansion next door. Maggie, wearing a sundress
and flip-flops, sits comfortably in lotus position as she
chats with Scils.
SCILS (O.S)
Mid December. SIK Basement. I’ll be
hosting Gettysburg College’s first
annual super senior prom.
MAGGIE
A super senior prom, that’s so
ridiculously clever.
SCILS (O.S)
You should come back from Florence
early so you can be my date. We can
go as friends but I will be
expecting an up doo.
MAGGIE
Don’t think that’ll be possible
Thomas. Can’t miss finals and buy
another flight home.
SCILS (O.S)
Yeah that would be a tough sell to
your daddy. Even though he’s a
millionaire.
MAGGIE
But I do see some high stakes ruit
and maybe just maybe a middle
school dance party in the near
future.
SCILS (O.S)
I see it too. Saturday at sundown.
SIK basement.
MAGGIE
Only three days away.

6.

SCILS (O.S)
Well worth the wait. Don’t read too
much into this but I am pretty,
pretty excited to see you.
MAGGIE
Me too. Not gonna lie, been looking
forward to it basically, all summer
long.
A LOUD KNOCK ensues, instantly startling Maggie.
MAGGIE
Hold on Tom. Mom, I’m coming!
MR. CROSS (O.S)
(stern)
Margaret Sophia, open up.
Maggie gasps and slides "Up All Fortnight" under her pillow.
INT. BUONVITA HOUSE - DUSK
ENTRANCE
Adam opens the front door. Biblical passages and Beatles
memorabilia flood quickly flood the boys’ senses. Both stop
to wipe off their dirty shoes.
KITCHEN
A joyful woman with oceanic, baby blue eyes (52) reads from
her King James Bible, highlighter in hand. She is SUSAN
BUONVITA. She reads a passage whose original luster has
waned, as if it had been highlighted long time ago. Isaiah
48:10: "Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I
have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Buonvita and
Scils stroll in.
MRS. SUSAN
Tooooom, you have no idea how happy
seeing you makes me.
SCILS
I feel the same exact way.
MRS.SUSAN
How have you been my boy?
SCILS
I’ve been feeling uh, eudaimonic
lately.

7.
MRS. SUSAN
You’ve been feeling like you da the
man?
SCILS
Basically. Eudaimonia is the
classical Greek word for
flourishing.
MRS. SUSAN
That sounds like Paul McCartney to
my ears.
Scils takes a seat next to Mrs. Susan, Adam walks to the
fridge and grabs a Corona.
SCILS
Yeah I mean today, right, I’m
talking to this really sweet,
funny, gorgeous girl and my mom
hands me this glorious piece of fan
mail.
MRS. SUSAN
She did. Was it really that
glorious?
SCILS
Of course. It was wise. It was
maternal. It was pensive and still
flowed straight from the heart.
Such a beautiful gesture. I’ll
treasure it forever.
MRS. SUSAN
Well it’s not everyday that one of
our dearest friends writes a book,
had to speak my heart back.
BOUNVITA
It took her like five hours to
write it.
SCILS
Had enough ink for a day.
MRS. SUSAN
I told Adam once I got the pen
going I couldn’t stop.
SCILS
I believe it, pure intention equals
pure stream of c flow.

8.

MRS. SUSAN
Yeah, it felt like God was smiling
down on us.
SCILS
As were the dragonflies.
MRS. SUSAN
That’s right. Mr. Chris always said
there was something so very special
about you.
A picture of the late Chris Buonvita from his college days,
looking very much like a modern Jesus with his long brown
hair, beard and passion illuminates a piece of the high,
kitchen wall.
The three are seated, drinking wine, conversing, dining on
Chicken Marsala. Scils tells some ridiculous cop stories.
SCILS
I was like, "I’m taking the
position of the Great Gandhi with a
non-violent approach to this
situation."
Adam coughs up some up some of his wine.
SCILS
He was like, "that’s it, that’s it
I can arrest you now. You didn’t
allow the free passage of another
citizen in public. Get up, you’re
goooooing to jail!!!
MOS laughter.
BOUNVITA
Piu vino, mamma?
MRS. SUSAN
Noooo. I gotta pick your sister up
at the airport and I’m running late
so...
Scils get out of his chair.
SCILS
You need to get to BWI before Lucy
starts blowing up your phone?

9.

MRS. SUSAN
Exactly.
Scils and Mrs. Susan share a long, full hug. Mrs. Susan
holds her car keys and a wrapped gift box.
MRS. SUSAN
Bye Adam. Bye Tom, it was so great
seeing you. Tell your family we
said hello.
SCILS
I will.
MRS. SUSAN
(to Adam)
Don’t forget to DVR Hannity and
Combs for me.
BUONVITA
Yeah, it might slip my mind.
MRS. SUSAN
It better not. I’ll see you boys.
SCILS
See ya.
Mrs. Susan enters the garage, shuts the door. Buonvita turns
to Scils.
BUONVITA
Wanna smoke a bowl?
SCILS
Uh huh.
BUONVITA’S ROOM
MUSIC QUEUE: "THE STONE" by the Dave Matthews Band.
Adam opens a large World History textbook. The center of the
textbook has been carved out and there’s a massive bag of
Mexican brick pack weed inside. Adam pull out a little weed
and sparks the bowl. Smoke clouds the room. MOS Laughter.
TITLE:
SICKNESS LEVEL 90+

10.
INT/EXT. SCILS’S VOLVO - NIGHT
Scils drives under a Gettysburg highway exit sign and puts
in a pinch of Apple Skoal. On his dashboard is picture of he
and Maggie playing beer pong, or as its known in Gettysburg
College, ruit. Scils grabs his phone and dials Maggie. He
gets Maggie’s voice mail, contemplates leaving a message,
then hangs up. Shortly thereafter, he gets a text. With
great anticipation, Scils picks up the phone and is quickly
deflated when he gets a message from "MOM" that reads,
"Don’t forget to take your pills every night. I want to see
you cross that stage in December. Lud you :)"
INT/EXT. WATER STREET - GETTYSBURG, PA - NIGHT
Scils crosses over some railroad tracks onto the Gettysburg
College campus. Beautiful, affluent-looking young women in
pastel sundresses and bros in pastel polos are plentiful,
crowding the illuminated streets.
EXT. SIK - NIGHT
Dudes are scattered on lawn chairs. Some drink Natty Lights,
others are smoking cigs and or packing lips. An old white
Volvo cruises up right up to the entrance, blaring "Pink
Cadillac" by Bruce Springsteen. A confident, intelligent
looking young man (21) looks on. He is DON LEEFER.
LEEFER
Bold move.
A short but muscular brother (20)--the kind of guy who will
both always have your back in a fight but be the last to
start it speaks. He is BOBBY REED.
REED
You recognize that car?
LEEFER
Nah.
Scils parks his car right in front of house despite the "No
Parking" sign and exits. An athletic, chill and disheveled
African-American (24) shouts with glee. He is BRANDON DELL.
DELL
Scils!
Scils walks up to a big white frat house holding just a red
cooler. The Greek letters Sigma, Iota, Kappa stand above the
entrance. This is SIK. A collegian (21), string bean like in
stature, wearing a Polo and Nike golf hat calls out to
Scils. He is JIMBO.

11.

JIMBO
Scils, where’s your stuff homie?
Scils taps on the cooler.
JIMBO
Kid shows up with no luggage. Just
a red cooler.
LEEFER
Total Scils move.
SCILS
Those are the only kinds I make.
What’s up brothers?
Tom exchanges bro hugs with Jimbo and Leefer.
SCILS
Bobby, you got a lipper?
Bobby tosses Scils a tin of Berry Skoal.
SCILS
Thanks brother.
Scils packs up the tin and puts in a medium lip.
SCILS
Ruit downstairs?
JIMBO
Scils. Is that a serious question?
INT. SIK - NIGHT
BLUE ROOM
A large common room right inside the house entrance is a
huge mess. Scattered beer cans, empty bottles of liquor,
delivery food are plentiful and a few drunks are passed out
on the couches with exposed skin inked up by marker. This is
THE BLUE ROOM.
Scils stumbles up from the basement with his Orioles T-shirt
soaked in beer and phone by his ear. As he opens the
door, "Kissed by a Rose" by Seal blares from downstairs. He
walks to his room and gets Maggie’s voicemail.
SCIL’S ROOM

12.

Scils moves his stuff into his room, the only room in the
house adjacent to the blue room. He hangs an old school DMB
poster on his wall, puts a framed picture of he and some old
friends outside their pink beach house on his desk, pops one
of his Lithium pills and puts a large, red statue of the
Buddha on top of his book shelf. Then, he pulls some copies
of "Up All Fortnight" out of his book bag and puts them into
his book shelf. Finally, Scils grabs a basket full of CD’s
with cover on its jewel case and a letter marked “MAGGIE”
and places it on his desk.
INT. SIK - TWILIGHT
BLUE ROOM
A group of frat boys sit around, smoking weed and playing
FIFA on the big screen. Scils shanks a close range shot. The
game ends shortly there after. Scils gets up and passes the
controller to Jimbo. Jimbo offers the bowl to Scils. He
takes a quick rip and continues to his room.
SCIL’S ROOM
Scils checks his messages. "No new messages" appears on the
screen and he has no missed calls or texts. He calls
Maggie. A LOUD, SLOW, SCREECHING SOUND replaces the ring.
BLUE ROOM
Scils enters, very confused and points to Jimbo.
SCILS
Borrow your phone?
Jimbo pulls his phone out of his pocket and tosses it to
Scils.
SCIL’S ROOM
Scils dials Maggie’s digits from memory.
MAGGIE (O.S)
Hello.
SCILS
Hey Maggie.
MAGGIE (O.S)
Hey who’s this?

13.

SCILS
It’s Scils.
MAGGIE (O.S)
Thomas, why didn’t you pick up when
I called you?
SCILS
Didn’t know you called me.
MAGGIE (O.S)
Like three times, left you a
voicemail too.
Scils looks at his phone, no voicemails.
SCILS
I’m looking at my phone now. No
texts, no voice mails and my only
missed call was from my mom.
MAGGIE (O.S)
Seriously?
SCILS
You have my word: nothing.
MAGGIE (O.S)
Well your phone was ringing every
time I called and I definitely
remember leaving you a message.
SCILS
Well perhaps, despite being seven
years into the 21st century, cell
phone technology is not a perfect
science quite yet. Just come meet
me at SIK, we’ll throw some ruit,
pitch a middle school dance party,
catch up on everything.
MAGGIE (O.S)
I wish I could.
SCILS
(deflated)
You’re not in Gettysburg anymore.
INT/EXT. MAGGIE’S ESCALADE - TWILIGHT
Maggie drives up the I-95.

14.

MAGGIE
My dad called and was like
"Margaret Sophia, you haven’t left
Gettysburg yet!?!? You need to come
home and get your beauty rest.
SCILS (O.S)
I had a gift for you.
MAGGIE
Awww, you did? What was it?
A basket full of CDs with beautiful cover art on the jewel
case and a letter that says "Maggie" are revealed.
SCILS (V.O)
It was some Dave Matthews, Ben
Harper, Bob Marley and Dispatch
CDs. A little wall ornament that
said, "let us keep one another in
mind." And I wrote you an
interracial love poem.
MAGGIE
It better be appropriate.
SCILS (V.O)
Of course it is. It’s related to
the music in your gift and sort of
a parody of your dad’s disapproval
of your former black boyfriend.
MAGGIE
You’re strange. It’s okay. I like
strange people.
SCILS (V.O)
Yeah. Lucky for you, I do too.
Wanna hear the poem?
MAGGIE
(laughing)
How can I say no to that?
INT. SCIL’S ROOM - TWILIGHT
Tom begins his interracial love poem.
SCILS
Marley’s music emancipated my
chained mind.

15.

EXT. GETTYSBURG COLLEGE - CAMPUS - DAY
Students, most white and affluent, walk in all directions
through the bucolic campus. Scils wears a book bag and walks
amongst the crowd.
SCILS (V.O)
Harper’s lyrics brought my faith
out of hibernation.
INT. AIRPORT - DAY
Maggie stands in a terminal. Her flight for Italy begins
boarding.
SCILS (V.O)
Boyd’s violin awoke the artist
within.
EXT. GETTYSBURG CAMPUS - DAY
Scils packs a tiny lip of Skoal Classic and approaches a big
red building. This is SMUCKER HALL.
SCILS (V.O)
Carter’s drums gave my heart a
bigger beat.
INT/EXT. AIRPLANE - DAY
Maggie sits between two large bearded men, nervously as the
plane lifts off.
SCILS (V.O)
Leroi’s saxophone lifted me up to
the Lord.
EXT. SMUCKER HALL - DAY
Scils passes Dell and gives him a fist pound.
SCILS (V.O)
All these men have black skin. I
have white skin. Yet, I still love
them.
INT/EXT. AIRPLANE - DAY
Maggie stares at a tray of pasta and bread in front of her.

16.
SCILS (V.O)
My daddy says, "my son is not
loving the music of a black guy."
INT. SMUCKER HALL - DAY
Scils enters the building and heads up a flight of stairs.
SCILS (V.O)
I say, "people can’t help whose
music they fall in love with."
INT/EXT. PLANE - NIGHT
Maggie puts on headphones and picks up her copy of "Up All
Fortnight".
SCILS
The fam may laugh at me but I
listen to the best music in human
history.
INT. SMUCKER HALL - DAY
THIRD FLOOR
Scils approaches his classroom, Room 323.
SCILS (V.O) (CONT’D)
And those sweet chocolate sounds
drown out their pearly ignorance.
He enters
ROOM 323
Scils’s greeted by a veteran professor (56) as he enters
She’s charcoal haired with a calm, placid voice and affect.
She is ALICE PORTER.
PROFESSOR PORTER
Tom, great to have you here with
us. Sit anywhere you can find a
seat.
The room has seminar style seating with a large table and
chairs on all sides. Scils spots a preppy girl with a "DG"
T-shirt and her hand on a seat, a couple bros with the Greek
letters "FIJI" on their sweatshirts and hippie kid with his
carry-all bag on a seat. From his blindside, he hears a
VOICE. Scils turns left to see a sexy, dirty blond vixen
with but a bright but often wavering mind on an empty seat.
She is ABBY GATES.

17.

ABBY
You can sit here if you’d like.
They both laugh out loud.
EXT. GETTYSBURG COLLEGE - QUAD - DAY
Scils and Abby stroll through campus and chat.
SCILS
So glad we finally have a class
together.
ABBY
Yeah my cousins went here and said
I had to take it before I
graduated.
SCILS
Porter’s the best.
ABBY
She seems very wise.
SCILS
And pure. This is like my fifth
class with her.
ABBY
When was your first, 1998?
SCILS
This only my ninth semester, spare
me.
ABBY
Ha. Sooo, how was your summer?
SCILS
It was pretty standard. Worked in
this cheesy Italian restaurant,
packed mad lips, ate Wawa subs
everyday.
ABBY
Yeah I waitressed. It was so
fucking lame.
SCILS
Have time to read any good books?

18.

ABBY
When I wasn’t serving up greasy
hamburgers and twenty five pieces
of flair? Yeah “The Mind/Body
Problem” was pretty sick. But not
nearly as sick as “Up All
Fortnight”.
SCILS
Yeaah right.
Scils begins to pack up a tin of Skoal Frost.
ABBY
I’m serious. I heard Becka
Milligan-Diaby’s teaching it in her
creative writing classes this
semester.
SCILS
Yeah two classes. I’m pretty
pumped.
ABBY
Are you guys fucking?
SCILS
How’d ja know? Sike, nah we’re not
boning but it’s definitely not an
ordinary student/teacher
relationship.
Scils puts in a huge dip in his lower lip.
ABBY
I think you could tap that if you
really wanted to.
SCILS
She’s married, to a creative
genius.
ABBY
With seventy three year old balls.
SCILS
And four ex-wives but still, don’t
think I’m baaaaad enough.
INT. BREIDENBALL HALL - BECKA’S OFFICE - DAY

19.
A pale and wan creative writing professor in her mid
thirties opens a notebook marked "TOMMY Scilipoti" and
stares at Scils with an adoring smile despite the fact that
he’s spitting tobacco juice into a Gatorade bottle. She is
BECKA MILLIGAN-DIABY.
BECKA
That email you sent my classes
about buying the books from you was
hilarious.
SCILS
Yeah I put in a fat lip of Grape
Kayak and basically shredded it.
Been feeling en fuego lately, the
flow’s been almost unprecedented.
BECKA
Well hopefully it’ll land you
mainstream book deal this time.
SCILS
The book jacket blurb exchange
program?
Scils flexes his solar plexus.
SCILS
Where have you been published
Marcus? Nah, those clown college
trustees are waaay too far up each
others’ assholes to see even
flashes of my primetime talent. I’m
actually thinking...
BECKA
Poetry Anthology.
SCILS
Nah can’t. Not enough muses yet.
Actually, tryin to revisit my
"Children of God" story from last
semester, turn it into a half-hour
serial style TV pilot.
BECKA
That could be very dangerous. I
fuckin love it.
Becka writes a few quick notes as Scils pitches the project
MOS. He’s very serious yet animated. Becka writes, "C of G:
Pilot", "Tommy Scilipoti", "Tommy Scilipoti" "Tommy S" then
she starts to dial-out, daydream as Scils finishes his
pitch.

20.

SCILS
Basically Dazed and Confused meets
Rushmore in a co-ed Catholic School
at the turn of 21st century.
BECKA
Brilliant. I love your Catholic
school stories. I feel like that
experience really developed your
sense of humor.
SCILS
No diggity. Funniest four years of
my life. Gave me a sixth sense.
BECKA
I don’t follow.
SCILS
It gave me a sixth sense.
Scils turns to his left, smiles and nods to seemingly no
one.
SCILS
A sense of humor and irony.
BECKA
Oh thank God! You scared me for a
second. Sometimes I can’t tell when
you’re being facetious.
SCILS
Story of my life.
Becka begins to blush.
BECKA
Soooo, Soooo...
SCILS
What?
BECKA
Are you upset Maggie’s gonna be
abroad all semester?
SCILS
Well I’m definitely going to miss
her but I’m happy for her at the
same time, you know? I mean,
Florence should be an exceptionally
siiick experience for her.

21.
Becka’s pale face continues to pinken.
BECKA
Have you asked her to be your
girlfriend yet?
SCILS
What do you mean yet?
BECKA
Tom please, if a girl makes it a
point to tell you that her mother
loves you and keeps asking her why
the two of you aren’t dating, I
think that’s a pretty clear sign
she wants you to ask her out.
SCILS
You think?
BECKA
Thomas, trust me, I know. There’s a
good reason why I couldn’t separate
you two as creative writing
partners.
SCILS
Yeah. Why was that?
BECKA
Because you were perfect together.
SCILS
I mean, we’ve always had great
chemistry and I really do care
about her. I just don’t wanna fuck
it up by moving too fast. You feel
me?
BECKA
Well I’ve known Maggie since she
was a freshmen and know a lot about
you through creative writing and
your book. She’s been looking for a
guy that truly respects women and
has a great sense of humor. You
epitomize both.
SCILS
Yeah, I mean, I don’t doubt that we
have a great connection but why now
to start dating? She’s an ocean
away, all semester long.

22.

BECKA
All I’m saying is that girls are
subtle and if Maggie’s telling you
that her mother’s asking her why
the two of you aren’t dating, I’m
pretty darn sure she’s speaking for
both of them.
EXT. SIK - NIGHT
MUSIS QUEUE: "THROW SOME D’S" by RICH BOY
Leefer cruises in front of SIK in a luxury car. Brother
Reed stands near the end of the street and puts his thumbs
up. Scils and Dell roll up trashcans and quickly put a
couple kegs inside the cans. Leefer drives away, Scils and
Dell start to roll the cans up the entrance.
LATER A line of people approach the house entrance as a group of
young preppy girls exit. Music blares from inside. A group
of freshmen dudes try to get in.
BACKWARD VISOR
Come on dude, we know Leefer.
JIMBO
A lot of people know Leefer.
TEAL LACOSTE
We’re thinking about pledging.
DELL
Where are your girls?
Abby walks past the freshmen en route to the entrance, they
point to her.
ABBY
Ha. It’s past your bedtime kids.
Dell flashes the freshmen bros a peace sign.
ABBY
Hey boys.
DELL
Hellllo.
We follow Abby as she enters the house.
INT. SIK - BLUE ROOM - NIGHT

23.
The spacious room is very crowded, people are smoking a
hookah by the TV. Several others are standing up and
conversing with solo cups. Some burnout looking kids
approach Reed and simulate smoking a bowl. He points to
Scils’s door. Hard BELLY LAUGHS can be heard from outside
it.
SCILS (O.S)
He was like "I’ll let you off the
hook this time but next time I see
ya, you’re goooooing to jail!"
A stocky, blond sophomore bursts out of the door, unable to
control his laughter. He is MIKEY O’NEIL. A huge cloud of
smoke pours out of Scils’s room as he and a few younger
looking collegians exit. Scils looks up to see Abby looking
right at him with enchanted eyes through her dark Ray Ban
Shades.
ABBY
Oh my God, this is too much right
now.
Scils draws close. Abby’s jaw is locked, her eyes aglow.
SCILS
(goofy)
What are you on shrooms? E?
Abby whispers in Scils’s ear.
ABBY
I’m coked out of my mind.
SCILS
I honestly, probably couldn’t even
tie my shoes right now.
Laughter ensues all around. Scils steps closer to Abby. Her
jaw is locked but her eyes are luminous. Scils assumes a
flirty demeanor.
SCILS
Soooo...how do you our art class?
ABBY
I fucking sweat it.
SCILS
Are you beginning to see timeless,
preternatural beauty in every
waking moment, even the seemingly
mundane?

24.
ABBY
Fuck yeah. I see tides turning.
SCILS
Sure feels that way.
POV ABBY. Hallucination: an azure ocean tide begins turning
above Scils’s head.
ABBY
No I told you, I’m coked out of my
mind. I am literally seeing tides
turning right above your head when
I look at you! It’s crazy, hahaha.
The tide reaches a peak then begins to rescind.
INT. SIK - SCIL’S ROOM - DAY
Scils enters holding a paper with a grade of "A" and a
comment "great work". He puts it on his desk and his book
bag to the side. He grabs Maggie’s CD basket from his
desktop and puts one in a portable CD player.
MUSIC QUEUE: "Waiting on Angel" by Ben Harper.
Almost ritualistically, Scils opens his window, turns on his
fan, puts a baggie over the smoke alarm, reaches past his
pills for a Baltimore Ravens lighter, pulls out a big bag of
weed from his red cooler and begins blazing. Scils lays back
in his bed, meditating and laughing to himself.
ABBY (V.O)
I see tides turning.
BEGIN

SEQUENCE:

EXT. OCEAN CITY - BEACH - DAYScils walks alongside the ocean tide and chats with Maggie
on his phone.
SCILS
What surprised you the most about
"Up All Fortnight"?
MAGGIE (O.S)
I didn’t expect it to be nearly as
powerful.
INT. SCILIPOTI HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Scils plays his father a voicemail. Italian, silver haired
and very fit, he is CARLO SCILIPOTI.

25.

MAGGIE (O.S)
We were by the pool and we were
talking about your book and our
friendship and how special they
both are.
MR. SCILIPOTI
That girl likes you.
EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
Maggie chats with Scils on the sidelines of her five year
old brother’s game.
ABBY (V.O)
I see tides turning.
MAGGIE
My mom like loves you. She read
your letter and was like was
showing it to all my friends.
END .
ABBY (V.O)
I see tiiiiiddees
INT. SIK - SCIL’S ROOM - NIGHT
Scils thumbs through an album full of pictures of he and
Maggie from a creative writing class party. The room is
filled with smoke.
ABBY (V.O)
Tuuuurrrrnnning.
LATER - SUNRISE
Scils logs into Facebook. He takes a pregnant pause then
confidently changes his relationship status to "In an open
relationship with" and types in "Margaret Sophia Cross". A
message appears that says his status will be awaiting
confirmation from Maggie Cross.
INT. SMUCKER HALL - ROOM 323
Scils walks into his class simulating "kayaking" with a log
of Grape Kayak smokeless tobacco, wearing a huge grin and
sunglasses. There are no seats next to Abby so he sits
across from her. She looks really sad, broken, depressed and
can barely even look up.

26.
PROF PORTER
What Homer is suggesting in his
exceptionally epic poem, The
Odyssey is that every end is
followed by a new beginning. But
alas, why?
The class looks hesitant. They chat quietly amongst
themselves in search of an answer--an homage to the opening
scene in Rushmore. Scils raises his hand.
PROF PORTER
Yes, Thomas.
SCILS
Maybe because time has a cyclical
nature, you know?
PROF PORTER
I think I know what you’re getting
at but please, unpack it for us.
SCILS
Winter, spring, summer and fall,
over and over and over, the cycle
never stops. We’re born, we live,
we die and then we begin anew. The
worldview doesn’t matter, the
wheels keep spinning. The Earth
keeps recycling everything. Clearly
the world isn’t flat and maybe just
maybe time isn’t either.
Abby can barely muster a weak smile.
PROFESSOR PORTER
Sometimes it really amazes me that
you’re still here.
EXT. GETTYSBURG COLLEGE - DAY
Scils waits for Abby outside of Smucker Hall.
SCILS
Unsick weekend?
ABBY
Incredibly unsick weekend. I need
to douse myself in holy water,
swear off blow for good.
Abby lights up a cigarette

27.
SCILS
Probably a wise decision.
ABBY
Can’t deal with the lows. I’m still
recovering from this huge bender,
blacked out basically Tuesday
through Saturday and, for the last
two days, I just stayed in my room
and didn’t speak to anyone. I was
really starting to scare myself.
SCILS
Jah definitely feel you.
ABBY
Doubt it.
SCILS
Which part?
ABBY
Not speaking for anyone for days?
Laying in absolute darkness?
Scaring yourself?
SCILS
Uh-huh.
ABBY
Seriously?
SCILS
That’s the yin and yang of
serotonin. You know that train that
always passes through Gettysburg in
the morning?
ABBY
Oh my God, it’s so fucking
annoying.
SCILS
Every time I hear it pass I’m
reminded of the Spring Semester of
my sophomore year.
ABBY
How come?
SCILS
Because everyday that semester I
thought about throwing myself in
front of that train.

28.

The two exchange teary, empathetic eye contact.
ABBY
Every day?
SCILS
Honestly, if I missed a day without
that fantasy, it would have been
very rare.
Scils puts in a fat lip of Grape Kayak.
SCILS
Depression can be really scary
sometimes. You just gotta remember
that you are not your thoughts,
especially when you’re depressed.
ABBY
Not according to Descartes.
SCILS
Cognito Ergo Sum is bullshit. It
should really be, I have a
heartbeat, therefore I am and
underneath that bright, creative,
serotonin-spun mind is a kind,
exceptional heart that treats
people optimally and thus, deserves
the best life has to offer.
Scils spits tobacco juice on the grass.
ABBY
But my thoughts were so dark.
SCILS
Serotonin imbalances make that
inevitable. Just remember
sweetheart, that the morning light
follows even the darkest night.
Except during an Alaskan winter.
But even that ends with spring and
a supernova of celestial light.
ABBY
I love you.
SCILS
Love you too. You know Maggie
Cross?

29.

ABBY
Yeah she’s really sweet.
SCILS
I asked her to be my girlfriend
this morning.
ABBY
Oh.
SCILS
Yep.
ABBY
Well, what did she say?
SCILS
I’m thinking yes, just waiting for
confirmation via Facebook.
ABBY
Oh that’s pretty random. Well,
buona fortuna.
SCILS
Grazi.
ABBY
(weakly)
Prego.
INT. SCILS’S ROOM - DUSK
Scils logs onto Facebook. His relationship status says
simply "in an open relationship".
MUSIC QUEUE: "SANDSTORM" by Darude.
Scils types in "Margaret Sophia Cross". Her page says,
"single". Activity from 9.11.07 reads "Margaret Sophia Cross
and Justin Sturdevant are now friends"
MONTAGE OF SHOTS
Scils reaches into his red cooler, pulls out a nugget of
weed from a big bag and an apple.
Scils opens up Microsoft Word and begins typing a furious
pace. The title "Children of God" appears at the top. Smoke
fills the air.

30.

Scils smokes out of his apple toker and types once again a
furious pace. He logs onto to Facebook and sees that
Maggie’s has commented on a friend’s wall post and added a
pic from Italy.
Scils lays back on his bed, reflecting, meditating. He gets
up, walks back to his desk, and opens his top left drawer.
He bypasses his pills in exchange for a big, fat blunt.
A group of pledges in white T-shirts and jeans do jumping
jacks. Scils weaves through them with his log of Kayak and
simulates "kayaking" around them
Night turns into morning. Tommy wanders campus barefoot in a
fanny pack.
Scils is pitching an intramural softball game and can’t stop
laughing from the mound
Scils holds court with the pledges and rants with a
grandiose affect.
Night become morning. Tommy’s light stays on all night.
END MONTAGE.
INT. BRIEDENBAUGH HALL - DAY
Becka underlines a passage from a paper and writes, "cliche
fest". She checks her watch, 12:12. Then she checks her
appointment book to see "Tommy Scilipoti. C of G. Noon". She
continues reading, briefly then pops a Prozac. Shortly
thereafter, a text. "Mom, can u pick me up at school? Almost
killed a bitch. Fifteen day suspension lol." Becka looks
horrified and pops two more Prozacs. Then Becka’s phone
starts ringing and she looks terrified to pick up as the
name "Mac Bryant" and a picture of "Lumberg" from Office
Space pops on the screen. A unique family picture of her
adopted biracial daughters and elderly husband in a casino
hangs in the background, no one with a wholesome
All-American smile nor the same facial expression.
EXT. BATTLEFIELDS - DAY
Scils walks through battlefields, mumbling to himself.
Tourists look on with confusion and trepidation. Scils opens
his fanny pack and grabs his phone. He sees a text from
"Becka". It reads, "Missed another meeting, Thomas!"
Scils is on the college’s student and teacher directory
(CNAV). He pulls up Becka’s schedule to see she has a class
from 3:00-4:15. He checks his phone "3:33".

31.

INT. LIBRARY - BASEMENT - DAY
Scils prints out several colorful pages amongst an impatient
crowd of collegians.
INT. BRIEDENBALL - CLASSROOM - DAY
Students stand as Becka gives some final instructions.
BECKA
Don’t forget your creative
nonfiction pieces are due this
Friday and remember, the theme is
scar stories.
Scils enters the class holding a huge stack of staped
papers.
BECKA
It appears we have a special guest.
Tom Scilipoti, what are you doing
here?
SCILS
Passing out study guides for "Up
All Fortnight"! Sadly, based on a
true story.
Scils starts handing stacks to the students.
BECKA
No you’re not.
Scils passes out more study guides.
BECKA
Pass the study guides back to me
when you get them.
SCILS
Sike, keep them. You’ll get ten
points extra credit.
The classroom is empty. Becka takes a quick look at the
study guides.
BECKA
My students already have a lot of
work for this class. I don’t think
we’re gonna be able to use this.

32.

SCILS
It’s just a reading supplement. No
work is required.
BECKA
We never discussed this because you
keep ducking our meetings, Thomas.
Why?
SCILS
Um, it’s kind of a funny story.
BECKA
Yeah well it was hilarious for me
too, wasting my time waiting in
vain for you to show up. Are your
sample pages of Children of God at
least ready?
SCILS
I’ll email you what I got. Straight
fire.
BECKA
Please do. And don’t show up to my
class unannounced ever again.
Scils is stung by the decree and contemplates his response.
SCILS
I do what I want.
CONTINUE MANIC MONTAGE:
Scils walks through town, wearing a fanny pack and snapping
random pictures.
Scils nears the Gettysburg Peace Light and talks into a
little choice recorder MOS.
Scils walks out of a private "film study" room in the
library, holding a VHS of "Showgirls" and wearing a look of
moral guilt as he zips up his pants.
Scils bakes his room, creeps Maggie’s page--more recent
activities, then checks his emails. At the top is an email
from Becka, titled, "Today’s Visit".
BECKA (O.S)
Tom, I can’t work with you until
you get treatment. You must
understand, my mother’s mania is
not something I ever like to
(MORE)

33.

BECKA (O.S) (cont’d)
revisit and the missed
appointments, today’s cameo, and
the writing sample...none of it is
working for me at all.
Instantly, Scils begins typing a reply.
INT. BREIDENBALL HALL - OFFICE - DAY
Becka reads Scils’s email with unease, she’s near the
bottom.
SCILS (V.O)
But you’re a busy women whom I
still love and I want you to
remember two things.
INT. SIK - SCIL’S ROOM - NIGHT
Scils stream of conscious flows some sentences on his key
board.
SCILS (V.O)
1, Don’t take yourself too
seriously. Recall the sixth sense
of humor and the empirical fact
that everybody farts. 2,
INT. BREIDENBALL HALL - OFFICE - DAY
Becka reads on with horror. We follow her eyes through the
sentence, "belittling Tom Scilipoti is usually not (as
history shows) a very wise choice." Her face turns bright
red, overcome with anxiety. She pops a Prozac, re-reads #2,
then scrolls a paper with important college phone numbers
and stops at "Counseling".
INT. SIK - SCIL’S ROOM - DAY
Scils blazes out of his apple toker and blows the hits out
of his window.
EXT. THE QUAD - DAY
Scils walks through campus laughing like a hyena.

34.

INT. DR. WILSON’S OFFICE - DAY
Scils sits on a couch and speaks with a short, savvy school
psychologist (73). He is DOCTOR WILSON.
DOCTOR WILSON
So Thomas, we meet again. Do you
have any idea as to why you’re in
my office this morning?
SCILS
Honestly Doctor Wilson, I’m inching
toward nirvana and no one else can
see it.
DOCTOR WILSON
You couldnt’ve given me a worse
answer.
SCILS
From a clinical perspective.
DOCTOR WILSON
Exactly.
SCILS
So life’s mysteries are always
reduced to hard science and
whatever a doctor says is ultimate?
Scils stares at a giant, framed, autographed picture of
Pele.
DOCTOR WILSON
Don’t feel like going there with
you right now but you’ve got people
worried. Especially your creative
writing professor.
SCILS
To be great is to be misunderstood,
doctor.
DOCTOR WILSON
You’re very hypo-manic, honestly on
the brink of crossing over to full
blown mania, skipping all of your
classes and Becka Milligan-Diaby is
refusing to work with you. That’s
your definition of greatness, Tommy
Boy?

35.

SCILS
Becka’s refusing to work with me?
DOCTOR WILSON
You sound surprised.
SCILS
I’m her favorite student.
Seriously, why is she refusing to
work with me?
DOCTOR WILSON
I think you can piece it together.
SCILS
They took her off her Prozac?
DOCTOR WILSON
Said you threatened her.
SCILS
False.
DOCTOR WILSON
Really, you didn’t make an explicit
threat via email?
SCILS
Threat? Forgive me for not taking
this conversation seriously.
DOCTOR WILSON
So she’s lying? I saw the email,
Thomas. I could see why she might
be worried for her safety.
SCILS
Spaaaaaaare me! Neither of you two
low tier elite scholars could see
the implicit message of the
"threat"?
DOCTOR WILSON
Which was?
SCILS
Taking yourself too seriously,
belittling me, means you’re getting
made fun of in my next book, as
history shows.

36.

DOCTOR WILSON
I could sense that. As history
shows, right? But Becka kept
insisting that people should never
take anything that’s within
parentheses as valid and she also
mentioned that you were uh, scaring
her students.
SCILS
She’s just trying to demonize me
because I’m bipolar and jeopardized
her power by passing out study
guides. Scaring her students? Goooo
home!
DOCTOR WILSON
All I’m saying is that we’re
sensitized by the Virginia Tech
killings. Can’t take threats
lightly, especially in the creative
writing classroom.
SCILS
So you think I’m going to shoot up
the school, right? That’s what
you’re implying? That I’m a be the
next cautionary tale about letting
a lunatic roam free on a college
campus? Clearly youz didn’t absorb
Up All Fortnight! It’s about loving
people unconditionally, laughing in
the face of tragedy and riding the
waves of our destinies with sunlit
smiles. But still, my next opus is
mass murder?
DOCTOR WILSON
Virginia Tech changed the game
Scils and it’s not just Becka
that’s worried.
Doctor Wilson tries to interject but Scils continues his
rant.
SCILS
Oh really? Yeah its cool, I have a
DSM I-IV official mental illness.
Go right ahead, strip me of my
dignity, pretend like I don’t have
a soul, say I was scaring people
and instantly make a million
converts! Becka writes a fucked up
(MORE)

37.
SCILS (cont’d)
book about wanting to kill herself
on mother’s day and here’s a little
spoiler alert, one of her adopted
bi-racial daughters whacks her
young white male love interest
instead! Scils writes about
triumphing over adversity, and
somehow he’s the threat? Oh my God
mommy I was so scared at school
today! What happened, Trevor? Some
super senior whose book we’re
reading in English 205 came to our
classroom at the end of class out
of breath, wearing a Grateful Dead
shirt, pajama pants, and
Birkenstocks as he passed out study
guides for his book! Oh my gosh
mother, I’ve never been so scared
before in all my life! I’ll be sure
to thank the good Lord every single
night for sparing me from his
wrath! And I’ll be forever indebted
to my creative writing teacher for
confiscating his study guides of
mass destruction.
DOCTOR WILSON
Anybody that truly knows you knows
you’re as harmless as they come.
But...
SCILS
But nothing! Becka betrayed my
comedic spirit.
DOCTOR WILSON
So laugh it off.
SCILS
Aha. I’ll apologize to her first
thing tomorrow morning, in a Cho
mask.
INT. SIK -

TWILIGHT -

BLUE ROOM
The room’s clouded with smoke. Reed and two other brothers
pass around a bubbler. One is tall, unkempt, grizzled. He is
SAM. The other is short and portly. He is HEALY. Leefer
enters, takes in a big breath.

38.

LEEFER
Medicinal AK-47?
HEALY
Scarlet Begonias.
We follow the smoke to
SCILS’S ROOM
Scils lays back with his hands behind his head, staring up
into the ceiling. His phone starts RINGING. Arts and crafts
waste for a mask rests on his desk. The phone screen reads
"Doctor Wilson" and he lets it ring to voice mail.
Scils continues to stare up at the ceiling. Suddenly, the
dots on the ceiling begin to resemble a bust of Jim
Morrison! The figure dissolves into a cartoonish effigy of
Richard Nixon shaking his finger. Scils looks like he’s
tripping major ball sack--tense, tweaked and otherworldly.
Scils puts his head into his pillow and when he looks up
again, a life size hallucination of the Dalai Lama folds his
hands and slowly moves down from the ceiling to embrace him.
SCILS
(whiny)
Get out of my room Dalai Lama.
INT. U of FIRENZE - DORMS - NIGHT
Maggie checks her email and opens a recent one from
"TomKick2". It reads " a lil help for your confirmation
decision" and there’s a word doc attached titled "A Real
Question". The beginning has her Chi O sorority symbol
alongside the SIK crest, then Scils’s feedback from Maggie’s
creative writing class story, "Unexpected Admiration". The
text reads, "Helped take an obese male from the middle class
to a previously foreign world--the land of 1% riches, snobby
lax moms and bulimia nervosa." Maggie scrolls through the
pages.
SCILS (O.S)
I need to rescue from this beast of
bulimia! People can’t tame beasts
alone and in the dark. I know from
experience, if you know what I
mean.
Maggie is intuitively troubled by this pitch.

39.

SCILS (O.S)
You’re literally one of the
shweetest people I’ve ever met, so
very special and deserve the help
you need to slay this fierce, fiery
dragon of bulimia nervosa.
Maggie scrolls through a few pages of text to a picture of a
drunk dude in a Fairfield sweatshirt.
SCILS (O.S)
Would you rather see more of me or
this fucking guy? If me, check your
Facebook message inbox and confirm
my open relationship request.
Maggie appears very worried and perplexed. She stairs at her
fridge, then purges on leftover pizza and fries. Afterwords,
she rushes to her bathroom, sticks her finger down her
throat with ease, like a reflex and begins vomiting.
INT. SIK - BLUE ROOM - NIGHT
Complete darkness except for the flat screen and frequent
lighters. Fog of marijuana smoke. Scils enters from his room
rocking a fanny pack and euphoric glow.
SCILS
(goober voice)
I smell mary-ju-wanna.
REED
Scils? You get some sleep yet bro?
SCILS
How can I sleep when I’m awakening
so many muses?
DELL
Got any more boomer’s Scils?
SCILS
No, I don’t have any boomers, Dell.
Just fucking treasure chests full
of five star pitches!
Scils speed walks to the exit.
REED
Scils. Wait, where are you going
dude?

40.

SCILS
I have to return some DVDs.
POV Scil--en route to Bream Gym, consistently mumbling to
himself, clearly tweaking, holding "TEEN WOLF", "A CLOCKWORK
ORANGE" and "AS GOOD AS IT GETS" DVDs. Scils enters
INT. MUSSLEMAN LIBRARY - NIGHT
Otherworldly, tripping Scils slides the DVD’s in the return
slot. He stares in the vast crowd, shakes, is frightened and
speed walks out.
INT/EXT. LINCOLN STREET - NIGHT
POV Car Passengers. Scils tweeks hard and constantly mumbles
to himself. A full Honda Civic passes him and all the townie
passengers point and laugh profusely.
INT. BREAM GYM - NIGHT
Scils walks to the weight room. He sees 45s on each side of
the bench, slides in and begins benching. Quickly, as Scils
stares at the ceiling, he is revisited by a cartoonish
Richard Nixon waving his finger at him.
INT. SIK - BLUE ROOM - NIGHT
"24" credits roll. Scils enters. Reed gets a good look at
Scils’s crazed face, and becomes very nervous and worried.
Scils looks back at Reed, whose eyes appear goblin-like.
REED
You feeling okay Scils?
SCILS
Huh?
Scils scans the room, everyone’s eyes appear distorted,
scary goblin like. Reed speaks MOS. Dell lips "sweet fanny
pack" and giggles in slow motion.
MUSIC QUEUE: "Lie in Our Graves" by DMB.
Scils has an auditory hallucination of the song. Jimbo hits
on the light.
SCILS
I can’t believe that we would lie
in our graves wondering if we’d
spent our living days well.

41.

LEEFER
Ugh, what?
REED
It’s a line from a DMB song.
Scils walks toward his room.
SCILS
I can’t believe that we would lie
in our graves wondering if we’d
spent our living days well. It’s
poignant, it’s poetic it would go
good on my epitaph.
Scils ignores his loud, concerned friends and heads straight
into his room.
INT. SIK - NIGHT JIMBO’S ROOM
The brothers sit around, blazing a bowl.
JIMBO
Dudes, he’s not gonna kill himself.
REED
I definitely think there’s a risk
there, Snake Eyes.
JIMBO
Dudes, do you know Scils? Chillest
kid ever. No way he’s going
hari-kari tonight. Except maybe if
he gets waxed on the ruit table.
DELL
Word.
LEEFER
Yeah well I’m at least under the
impression that chill people don’t
exactly stop sleeping and start
wandering all over Gettysburg in a
fanny pack, backwards goofy ass
hat, consistently mumbling
"esoteric wisdom" to themselves.
Leefer rips the bowl.

42.

DELL
I really think he’s just tripping
sack.
BLUE ROOM
Scils steps out of his room and begins to draw on his door.
First he draws a big diamond.
REED (O.S)
I mean maybe, but I think that
makes him even more unpredictable
and dangerous. Never thought I’d
ask this but, Leefer, what’s the
number to S & S.?
JIMBO (O.S)
1-800 "SPARE ME". He’s just going
crazy from smoking all this weed
and not taking his head meds. A
case of Natty, a dose of melatonin,
a little Lithium, a little ruit and
he’ll fine today.
Next, Scils writes a circled cross with 9.13.07 below. Then,
the phrase "God Bless Dupey".
LEEFER (O.S)
Dudes, we’re degens with high SAT
scores, not MDs.
JIMBO’S ROOM
Leefer tosses Drunk Reed his Blackberry.
LEEFER
It’s under Pete North DPS.
DELL
Dudes, we don’t narc in this house.
JIMBO
See the sign.
JIMBO points to a picture with a bunch of rats and a "no"
symbol.
DELL
No rats!
Dell starts ripping the bowl.

43.

LEEFER
If saving my brother’s life is
ratting, consider me Master
Splinter.
JIMBO
Why?
LEEFER
Cuz I’m the biggest rat you’ll ever
see.
SCILS’S ROOM
Scils lays on his bed, hands behind his head. He looks up at
the ceiling and begins hallucinating again. A army of little
Buddha heads cover the ceiling. First they all smile but
suddenly they assume scary, menacing frowns and demeanors as
if they were hazing him.
BLUE ROOM
Leefer and Reed walk to Scils’s door. Reed sees what
resembles an epitaph on the door and knocks fast and
furiously.
REED
Scils! Scils! Scils!
Three LOUD BANGS on the door.
SCILS (O.S)
Who art though?
REED
Thou art thy brother.
LEEFER
Thou art thy brother. Let us in
Scils, we finally finished Up All
Fortnight.
SCILS (O.S)
Nah can’t.
LEEFER
Scils, it was fucking brilliant
dude-- most Catholic girl
ever...HJ’s on the first night,
dome on the second and sex on the
third, thus forming a Holy Trinity.

44.
REED
You’re a legend sir.
SCILS (O.S)
I was.
REED
False Scils. Heroes come and go,
but legends never die. And I do
believe that "smooth seas do not
make skilful sailors."
SCILS’S ROOM
Scils smiles from outerspace like a senior citizen with
dementia--warm from the love but also warm cuz he’s
currently drowining in undies full of poop.
SCILS
Sick references bros but I’m
feeling waayyyyy to shitty right
now.
We reveal a portly fellow, tweeking in his bed with a big
brown stain underneath most of this night star sheets.
LEEFER (O.S)
Everybody feels shitty sometimes.
We’re on your side Scils, we
fucking love you bro, it’s us just
open up.
REED (O.S)
(crying)
Open up Scils!
SCILS
Sorry boys, gotta take care of some
shit first. Come back after
midnight.
INT. SIK - SCILS’S ROOM - NIGHT Scils blares "Sandstorm" and does a make shift clean of his
room and puts the shitty sheets in a corner. Suddenly, a
loud knock.
SCILS
Duuuuudes, stop.
S & S OFFICER (O.S)
Safety and Security.
Scils frantically checks his desk and drawers for weed.

45.

SCILS
Umm, what’s up?
S & S OFFICER (O.S)
May we come in?
SCILS
Um, not without a warrant.
BLUE ROOM
Leefer, Reed and a pale, elderly security officer wait
anxiously outside Scils’s door. He is OFFICER GRAY.
LEEFER
He’s a huge libertarian.
I’m the house president.

Scils,

SCILS
No doy.
LEEFER
I can let anyone into your room.
SCILS (O.S)
Really Leefer? Is that a law?
LEEFER
The school owns our house so yes it
actually kind of is.
SCILS (O.S)
Spare me. You ain’t an enlightened
eccentric, you ain’t entering this
fort tonight.
LEEFER
Uh, what?
SCILS
You heard me.
LEEFER
Scils! Open up or I’ll do it for
you.
SCILS
Nah can’t.
Leefer slides his key in, Scils opens the door.

46.
SCILS
Sup?
OFFICER GRAY
Your buddies called us because
they’re concerned about your
safety.
SCILS
Well I’m glad they care about me
enough to reach out to you guys but
trust me, it’s a false alarm. Good
night.
Scils tries to shut the door gently. Leefer blocks it.
LEEFER
Scils, this isn’t a joke.
SCILS
It is to me. I’m cleaning my room
in peace and now S & S is outside
my door!
OFFICER GRAY
That’s because you’re friends are
worried your life’s in danger.
SCILS
Why would they think that?
OFFICER GRAY
They said you said something about
putting Dave Matthews lyrics on
your epitaph.
SCILS
Why would someone speak so openly
about death? Oh yeah, now I
remember. Love and death are the
most timeless, universally
resonating themes in art.
OFFICER GRAY
That may or may not be true.
SCILS
It is.
OFFICER GRAY
Ok well your friends reported a
suicide threat and I see you’ve
inscribed an epitaph on your door?

47.

SCILS
Oh that. That’s a promo for my new
film "God Bless Dupey". It’s about
an eccentric family and Sally
Field’s playing the lead.
OFFICER GRAY
Ohhh K.
SCILS
And Ben Franklin wrote his epitaph
when he was 13. He killed himself
right after that, right?
OFFICER GRAY
No, he went onto to become a
Renaissance man.
SCILS
And a Trans-Atlantic pimp. So would
you say that Ben Franklin’s epitaph
was more of a suicide note or a
mantra for how he was going to live
the rest of his long, ridiculously
successful life?
OFFICER GRAY
I’d say the latter but you’ve got a
lot of people worried. I think you
should come with us.
SCILS
Why?
OFFICER GRAY
I’ve been told you haven’t slept
since Sunday morning.
SCILS
Now that is true.
OFFICER GRAY
Any particular reason why you
haven’t been sleeping?
SCILS
Well it’s like William Blake said,
"If the doors of perception were
but cleansed, everything would
appear as it really is, infinite".
I feel like my doors of perception
have been cleansed recently,
allowing me to see the world with
(MORE)

48.

SCILS (cont’d)
new eyes and reducing the need for
sleep.
OFFICER GRAY
Huh?
SCILS
I also haven’t exactly been taking
my prescribed doses of Lithium.
OFFICER GRAY
You’ve been prescribed Lithium?
For?
SCILS
Bipolar disorder. It’s a mental
chillness.
OFFICER GRAY
Oh, oh okay. Well this starting to
make a lot more sense now. Well
would you say you need some sleep?
SCILS
I know I need some sleep.
OFFICER GRAY
Alrighty. Well, what I’m going to
do is call Doctor Shipley from
counseling and she’s gonna come and
have a little chat with you.
SCILS
Can you call Doctor Wilson instead?
He knows me all too well.
OFFICER GRAY
He’s not on call tonight.
SCILS
I think you should call him anyway.
It’ll be a big help. Trust me.
OFFICER GRAY
Grab your stuff. Maybe something to
read and we’ll meet you outside.
SCILS
Um, I really need to talk to Doctor
Wilson first.

49.

OFFICER GRAY
Doctor Shipley will suffice.
SCILS
But she’s a stranger.
REED
Scils, you need sleep bro. Go with
the officer.
LEEFER
Seriously Scils, go. Trust us, it’s
for the best.
SCILS
So you take me to the hospital,
they medicate me, I get a good
night’s sleep and then I’m back in
class tomorrow?
OFFICER GRAY
That’s the plan.
Scils pauses, scans the room, Leefer and Reed nod their
heads yes.
SCILS
Alright fine, but can I check
something first?
INT/EXT. S & S WAGON - NIGHT
Officer Gray drives up Lincoln Street. In the backseat,
Scils looks very sad, deflated as he speaks to a focused,
serene counselor (58) MOS. She is DOCTOR SHIPLEY. By his
side is a small journal, a long handwritten letter, a copy
of Up All Fortnight and a Buddhist figurine--the Bodhisattva
of compassion.
INT. GETTYSBURG GENERAL - NIGHT HOSPITAL BED
Scils lays impatiently on a tiny cot. The curtains open and
a thin, weathered nurse in her early forties enters. She is
NURSE DOVE.
NURSE DOVE
Mr. Skill-ugh-Potty?

50.
SCILS
Shill-uh-poh-tee.
NURSE DOVE
Mr. Scilipoti, I’m Tara. I’ll be
one of your primary caregivers.
Nurse Dove slides a blood pressure machine up to Scils.
NURSE DOVE
Gonna do a couple tests. Ask a
couple questions, k?
SCILS
Go for it.
Scils nods and closes his eyes. He sees an orb of red light.
Nurse Dove holds a bp cuff.
NURSE DOVE
Okay, right or left?
SCILS
Right or left?
NURSE DOVE
Yeah.
SCILS
Depends on the issue.
Shoosh-mortion left, War on Drugs?
In David Simon I trust. Dick
Cheney, wish God would’ve slayed
him by his seventh heart attack.
Bush’s got a good heart, would love
to pack a lip with him just
would’ve preferred if he still ran
the Texas Rangers instead of the
Free World.
NURSE DOVE
Okay left.
Nurse Dove rolls up Scils’s sleeve, applies the cuff and
begins pumping.
SCILS
Oh.
NURSE DOVE
Now I’m gonna ask you a few
questions now, as required by
Pennsylvania State Law. K?

51.
SCILS
Do it.
NURSE DOVE
Do you have an immediate plan to
end your life?
SCILS
Nope.
Scils winces. Nurse Dove relieves pressure from the cuffs.
NURSE DOVE
Any recent thoughts of suicide?
SCILS
None whatsoever.
NURSE DOVE
Have you been feeling especially
depressed lately? Feelings of
hopelessness, inertia, lack of
interest in activities once
enjoyed, like sex?
SCILS
Sex ain’t a pastime, sweetheart.
NURSE DOVE
So yes or no?
SCILS
I’ve actually been feeling the
polar opposite of depressed. That’s
why I haven’t slept in four days!
The BP machine clicks.
NURSE DOVE
133 over 81. Not terrible.
Nurse Dove checks "no" on her list.
NURSE DOVE
Any thoughts of harming yourself or
others?
SCILS
Nope.
NURSE DOVE
Have you consumed any drugs in the
last 24 hours?

52.

SCILS
I know exactly where this legally
binding inquisition is going so I’m
gonna save us all a lot of time.
You can check "NO" for all signs of
suicide risk.
Nurse Dove looks down at a long list on her clipboard,
marked "SUICIDE RISK ASSESSMENT" but does not follow Scils’s
instructions.
SCILS
I’m not depressed, I’m manic. The
polar opposite state of mind. And
when you speak a million words in
one bender, some of your words
inevitably sound crazy and get
misread. Definitely the case here.
I was promised sleep tonight, so if
you could just go ahead bring me a
buffet of sedatives that would be
terrific, thanks.
NURSE DOVE
I’d have to get authorization from
the doctor first.
SCILS
Do it. Seriously, do it.
NURSES STATION
A bald doctor (48) with a wild and mostly grey beard scrolls
through a report. He is DOCTOR REICH. He points
to "Manic-Depressive", "Cannabis Abuse", "Erratic
Behavior", "Suicide Risk", then nods with confidence as if
he just solved the mystery.
HOSPITAL BED
The blinds open and Doctor Reich enters.
DOCTOR REICH
So, I understand your buddies were
pretty worried about you.
SCILS
Some of them were, yes.
DOCTOR REICH
Worried you were going to kill
yourself.

53.

SCILS
To be great is to be misunderstood
doctor.
DOCTOR REICH
Said you haven’t been sleeping
either.
SCILS
That part is true. The suicide
threat was a false alarm.
DOCTOR REICH
Not according to your report.
SCILS
Well that information,
unfortunately, is not a primary
source.
DOCTOR REICH
Really? It’s based on eye witness
accounts.
SCILS
No one can eyewitness my mind but
its beholder! I’m giving you my
word, I have no intentions of
terminating my life. My one and
only wish is to be sleeping right
now. So if you could please give me
medicine that’ll be a good start.
DOCTOR REICH
I could. Not saying I would.
SCILS
Why the fuck not?
DOCTOR REICH
You’re being evaluated.
SCILS
So you’re not going to give me
medicine to help me go to sleep?
I’ve been up for almost four
straight days!!
DOCTOR REICH
You’re on suicide watch.

54.

SCILS
Something tells me you’re actually
being serious right now which is
beyond ridiculous.
DOCTOR REICH
Here in the State of Pennsylvania
we take threats of suicide very
seriously.
SCILS
But your whole state’s a joke.
DOCTOR REICH
I take it you find suicide to be
comedic?
SCILS
I mean, a failed suicide can be
ironic, tragic-comic.
DOCTOR REICH
I’m gonna take your blood pressure
now.
SCILS
Already got it. 133 over 81.
DOCTOR REICH
Perhaps you misheard me.
The doctor rolls up Scils’s right sleeve and discovers some
brown fluid on his arm.
DOCTOR REICH
What’s this?
The doctor inspects further, takes a few sniffles.
SCILS
What’s it smell like?
The doctor takes one more good whiff.
DOCTOR REICH
Could you please explain to me why
exactly there’s fecal matter spread
out all over your right arm?
SCILS
Well around the eighty eighth
consecutive hour I spent without
sleep I really had to shit and I
(MORE)

55.
SCILS (cont’d)
felt temporarily paralyzed and it
was my room and we live in a free
country so I went.
DOCTOR REICH
But you had a choice to go the
bathroom.
SCILS
Not that simple, doctor. It’s like
Sophie’s choice, theoretically she
had a choice but, in reality, the
notion of choice is really just a
cruel illusion.
DOCTOR REICH
You had a concrete choice to go to
the potty!
SCILS
Ever been up for eighty eight
straight hours? You don’t know that
with experiential certainty.
DOCTOR REICH
Are you questioning me?
SCILS
Does it seem that way?
Nurse Dove enters.
NURSE DOVE
Mr. Scilipoti, you have a phone
call.
Doctor Reich records some notes.
DOCTOR REICH
Take his blood pressure for me
Dana.
NURSE DOVE
Already got it.
DOCTOR REICH
I’m sorry. I don’t recall asking.
NURSE DOVE
Yes doctor.
Doctor Reich exits.

56.

SCILS
Bring some sedatives.
Nurse Dove hands Scils a portable phone. He rolls up his
right sleeve and presents his feces free left arm.
SCILS
Hello.
Nurse Dove applies the cuff, begins pumping.
MRS. SCILIPOTI (O.S.)
Hey baby cakes.
SCILS
Hey mom.
MRS. SCILIPOTI (O.S)
How are you feeling?
SCILS
Honestly mom, not good. I feel
weird. I’m seeing things, I’m
thinking about raising the funds to
put a tee-pee over my frat house,
my mind is on fire and I definitely
can’t put it out solo.
MRS. SCILIPOTI (O.S)
I know. I’ve been waking up at 3AM
again. Your father’s buying our
tickets home as we speak.
SCILS
Mom, your 25th anniversary is
waaaay more important than this.
I’ll be fine, just convince the
doctor to give me sleep meds.
MRS. SCILIPOTI (O.S)
Thomas, you came out of my belly
and I’d give everything to hop in a
portal and be at your side right
now, but I can’t. I can’t.
Mrs. Scilipoti starts balling.
SCILS
Mom, you’re always with me because
I carry you in my heart.

57.

MRS.SCILIPOTI (O.S)
I do too, baby cakes.
SCILS
I honestly just need a little sleep
medicine and I’ll be fine today.
I’ll pass out, wake with the
sunrise and start crushing my
classes again.
MRS. SCILIPOTI (O.S)
Let’s hope.
SCILS
It’ll come true.
MRS. SCILIPOTI
Why did you stop taking your
Lithium, babe?
SCILS
I didn’t totally stop taking it.
MRS. SCILIPOTI
But Thomas, you’re manic.
SCILS
Oh I’m aware. Honestly mom, I
wanted to be more creative and I
was getting high a lot.
MRS. SCILIPOTI
Thomas, you know weed doesn’t react
well with your brain medicine. In
fact, it acts horribly.
SCILS
I’m finding that out the hard way,
once again. I just wish somebody in
this hospital would believe my
story and sedate me. Everybody is
convinced that I’m suicidal,
suicidal.
MRS. SCILIPOTI (O.S.)
So you haven’t had any suicidal
thoughts at all?
SCILS
Mom, I’m not suicidal. I haven’t
even had one depressing thought in
the last three weeks.

58.

MRS. SCILIPOTI (O.S)
You’re not suicidal at all?
SCILS
I swear on poppy’s grave that I’m
at the exact opposite end of the
pole.
MRS. SCILIPOTI (O.S.)
I believe you, honey.
SCILS
Thanks. Hopefully, you and dad’ll
be waking me up tomorrow night.
MRS.SCILIPOTI (O.S)
I hope so. I’ll be sending you all
the reiki I can give.
LATER Nurse Dove removes the blinds to Scils’s bed, alongside a
sweet, elderly nurse. She is NURSE SWEENEY.
NURSE DOVE
Sorry honey, we’re gonna have to
move you.
SCILS
I’m being released?
NURSE DOVE
No, you’re being transferred.
SCILS
To a new hospital?
NURSE DOVE
To the seclusion room. Sorry honey.
SCILS
Why!?!?
NURSE SWEENEY
So we can keep a closer eye on you,
dear.
SCILS
That would be hilarious, if I
didn’t think you were serious.

59.

NURSE DOVE
I’m afraid we are.
NURSE SWEENEY
Sorry young man, doctor’s orders.
SCILS
How is that clown licensed to
practice medicine?
NURSE DOVE
That’s a loaded question. One I
have no intentions of answering.
NURSE SWEENEY
We brought some hygienic wipes to
get you cleaned up.
Nurse Sweeney presents a case of hygienic wipes.
BATHROOM
A tall, hulkish security guard (43) stands close as Scils
begins to undress. He is DOUG.
SCILS
You seriously have to watch me do
this?
DOUG
It is required, by law.
SCILS
Don’t stare at my wiener.
Scils exits the bathroom in a blue garment. Several dirty
hygienic wipes litter the trashcan. He walks alongside Doug
and Nurse Sweeney to the
SECLUSION ROOM
Only a pillow and small blanket align the floor.
SCILS
Wow. One pillow, a rock hard floor,
and no sedatives. Wake me up if I
hibernate through the weekend!
Scils lays on the floor, struggling in vain to quiet his
mind. Nurse Sweeney keeps a hawk eye on him, taking notes
occasionally.
INT. GETTYSBURG GENERAL - DAY -

60.

Morning has broken. A pale and wan young woman in her mid
twenties approaches Dr. Reich. She is DEB.
DOCTOR REICH
He’s very unpredictable. So if you
perceive a threat, yell "Green"
immediately.
DEB
Oakey-Doakey.
SECLUSION ROOM
Deb enters with a clipboard, Scils sits up slightly.
DEB
My name is Deb. I’m a crisis
counselor for Adams County. Do you
have any idea as to why I might be
here this morning?
SCILS
Yes, because this hospital severely
lacks sound clinical judgment and
is convinced that I’m suicidal.
DEB
No, I’m here because there’s a
perceived threat of your suicide.
SCILS
Perceived is the key word there
sweetheart and unfortunately, for
all you sleuths, it’s just not
accurate, on any level.
DEB
Not according to your report.
SCILS
The report is flagrantly
misleading. The God’s honest truth
is that I have a great life that I
don’t want to see and especially
won’t try to end abruptly.
DEB
Well if there’s a perceived threat,
there has to be truth to it.
SCILS
False, not all perceptions reflect
reality. For example, you may
(MORE)

61.

SCILS (cont’d)
perceive that everything on that
report is factual and I’ve been
plotting to cut my life up into
pieces and take my last resort
since Sunday. Unfortunately, that
perception just does not reflect
reality whatsoever so there’s
absolutely no truth in it.
DEB
Um, I’ve been told you’ve been
doing a lot of pot.
SCILS
As were the people that perceived
my threat of suicide!
DEB
Do you realize that marijuana is an
illegal narcotic?
SCILS
Next.
DEB
Ex-squeeze me?
SCILS
Someone who speaks like that has a
less than zero percent chance of
breaking through to me. I’d like a
new counselor. Someone more
veteran, established please.
DEB
That won’t be possible.
SCILS
I’m actually pretty curious, where
did you get your AA in crisis
counseling?
DEB
I got my BA in crisis intervention
management with honors from
Kutztown University.
SCILS
Impressive.

62.
DEB
I think you’re being sarcastic but
I don’t care. Ima keep doing my
job. And you should be sooo, sooooo
happy to be stuck with me.
Deb thumbs through her notes.
DEB
Sooo, how were you planning on
doing it?
SCILS
Doing what?
DEB
You know.
SCILS
Getting to my Senior Seminar at 8?
I was hoping I would no longer be
held in captivity against my will.
DEB
No. How were you planning on doing
it?
SCILS
It? Can you be a little more
specific?
DEB
How were you planning on killing
yourself?
SCILS
I wasn’t planning on killing
myself! You stupid Pennsyltucky
troll!
DEB
Green! Green! Oh my God, green!
Doctor Reich, Doug and the male nurses enter.
DOCTOR REICH
You’re being evaluated to see if
you need admission to a psychiatric
ward.
SCILS
You commit me, I’ll sue your bitch
ass!

63.

DOCTOR REICH
You’re a danger to yourself.
SCILS
Alright God! Sure thing God!
Anything you say God! You have
divine powers and reign over all!
Doctor Reich grabs Scils’s arm forcefully.
DOCTOR REICH
Enough!
Scils shoves Doctor Reich and points at him.
SCILS
Keep your hands to yourself!
DOCTOR REICH
Green.
A team of male hospital staffers closes in on Scils. Scils
gets in a bull like stance. A young African-American (24)
leads the group. He is JESSE.
JESSE
We can do this easy way or the not
so easy way.
Scils slides his feet like a bull about to charge.
SCILS
Hammer!!!
Scils tries to bull through the male staff. He makes some
headway but is ultimately apprehended by sheer force and
numbers. Doug elbow drops Scils in the spine to finish him
off.
DOUG
Gotcha.
INT. GETTYSBURG GENERAL - DAY
Nurse Sweeney carts away some belts used for restraint. LOUD
BANGING thunders from the seclusion room. Doctor Reich
thumbs through some paperwork. "Request for Emergency
Psychiatric Evaluation" hangs at the top. A few paragraphs
with capitalized symptoms follow--MANIC BEHAVIOR. DELUSIONS
OF GRANDIOSITY. SUICIDAL IDEATION. “IMMEDIATE DANGER TO
HIMSELF” is underlined. A signature follows, Alexander
Reich, MD.

64.

SECLUSION ROOM
LOUD BANGING NOISES. Scils shouts repeatedly.
SCILS
I need some water! Give me some
fucking water, please! I’m dying of
thirst.
NURSES STATION
Complete indifference to Scils’s plea.
SCILS (O.S)
Denying me hydration is illegal and
you should pray that the partners
at Eisenberg, Cohen and Snyder are
in a merciful mood when I disclose
this!
Doctor Reich snaps his finger and points to the locked door.
Nurse Dove hurries over to the
SECLUSION ROOM
Sounds of latches being unhinged follow. Nurse Dove opens
the door.
NURSE DOVE
You’re right Thomas, we can’t deny
you hydration but can you do the
other patients a favor and lower
the volume?
SCILS
(goofy)
Sure.
Nurse Dove leaves the door slightly ajar. Scils peaks out,
opens the door a little more and eyes up the exit. He looks
around to see the staff currently occupied and takes a few
slow, stealthy steps outward before he bursts in a full
sprint. Nurse Sweeney spots him.
NURSE SWEENEY
Alexander!
Doctor Reich doesn’t respond.
NURSE SIMMONS
Doctor Reich!

65.

Doctor Reich spots Scils, snaps his finger and points to a
button which a nurse quickly presses. Scils’s hospital
garment falls off leaving him buck naked.
SCILS
Loooooove!!!! Freeeeeedommm!!
NURSE DOVE
Tommmy! Nooooo!!!
SCILS
Loooovee!!!
Scils body checks the first locked automatic door and knocks
it down.
SCILS
Freeedddoooom!!!
Scils knocks down the second door and sprints out of the
hospital entrance.
SCILS
Loooooveeee!!!
EXT. TOWN OF GETTYSBURG - DAY
Scils runs into a nearby neighborhood to the tune of
menacing sirens and belting the words “love” and “freedom”
like an ancient warrior.
EXT. BACKYARD - DAY
Scils grabs a shirt off a clothesline and wraps it around
his waist. He also grabs a broom and a Styrofoam plate and
continues forward.
EXT. TOWN OF GETTYSBURG - DAY
Scils weaves in and out of some alleys to the tune of
sirens.
EXT. LINCOLN STREET - DAY
Scils is about to cross the street. A car driver spots him,
Scils gives an intense stare, and the driver continues on
his way. As Scils crosses the street, he’s spotted by a
tall, young, moderately obese police officer. He is OFFICER
STRAUSS.

66.

OFFICER STRAUSS
Hey! Hold your horses.
Scils starts sprinting and resumes his battle chants during.
SCILS
Looooooooove!!! Freeeeeeeedom!!!!
Looooooooove!!!
Scils runs about six blocks before a police car turns onto
Water Street. An mustached police officer gets out of his
vehicle and draws his gun. He is OFFICER GREGORY.
OFFICER GREGORY
Drop your weapon!
Scils drops his broom, holds up his hands and is tackled by
Officer Strauss. Scils squirms away as Officer Strauss tries
to cuff him but soon several other officers arrive on the
scene and Scils puts his hands behind his back. Just before
the cuffs go on, Scils playfully taps Officer Strauss on the
cheek. Then he’s wrestled to the ground and cuffed with
several officers holding him down.
OFFICER STRAUSS
Gotcha.
Scil’s stomach GROWLS loudly. He omits a huge smile, then
unleashes his bowels. It’s a very long diarrhea shit and
equally liquidity. The poop erupts like lava and the
officers can’t fully dodge it. Scils smiles brightly.
INT. GETTYSBURG GENERAL - DAY
Scils lays on a stretcher in a blue hospital gown.
of nurses circle Scils.
DOCTOR REICH
Get me the damn needle!
SCILS
Please give me some water. Please,
I’m dying of thirst.
Nurse Dove fetches some water.
DOCTOR REICH
1500 CC’s of morphine, stat!
SCILS
Two gallons of H20, stat!

A team

67.

Nurse Sweeney prepares a needle. Nurse Dove hands Scils a
water bottle. Scils takes a big swig out of a straw.
SCILS
I was dying of thirst and you gave
me water.
Nurse Sweeney hands Doctor Reich a big needle.
SCILS
You have a big heart. Unlike some
people.
Scils nods over to Doctor Reich who sticks a needle in his
vein.
INT. SIK - BLUE ROOM - DAY
A group of young men, thirty deep sit around the room in a
big circle. Brother Leefer addresses the group from the
center.
LEEFER
Pledges, this is above and beyond
what we’re asking you to do for us.
Brothers, this our brotherly duty.
As I’m sure everyone is aware, our
brother Scils has been feeling a
little too sick lately and now he’s
gonna go away for a little while.
But he’s at Gettysburg General
right now and we need to show him
who has his back. Question is,
who’s coming with me?
INT. GETTYSBURG GENERAL - SECLUSION ROOM - DAY
Scils is in a deep slumber. He’s shaken by a set of a hairy
arms until he wakes up. Scils wakes to see Doctor Reich
holding a pen and a paper. His vision is blurry and he’s
still very much sedated.
DOCTOR REICH
Here you go.
SCILS
What’s this?
DOCTOR REICH
(muffled)
It’s a form that says you won’t sue
me for malpractice.

68.

Doctor Reich puts the form in Scils’s face. Drugged and
smiling from his euphoric body high, Scils applies a chicken
scratch signature to the form and immediately passes out
after.
EXT. LINCOLN STREET - DAY
The entire SIK fraternity and pledges marches up Lincoln
Street.
INT. GETTYSBURG GENERAL - SECLUSION ROOM - DAY
Scils is sleeping. Reed shakes him till he wakes up.
SCILS
Oh hey, brothers.
LEEFER
Good to see you’re well rested,
brother.
SCILS
Thanks for coming to visit me
brothers, it’s very brotherly of
you.
LEEFER
Yeah every brother and pledge came.
It’s what this fraternity is really
all about, brother.
SCILS
Yeah this hospital would turn away
35 of my brothers. Trying to throw
some ruit later?
REED
Yeah when you get out. I’m
definitely down, brother.
SCILS
Should be a little later tonight,
after I’m done sleeping.
REED
Um.
LEEFER
Scils, you pooped on like five
cops.

69.

SCILS
Yeah so.
REED
Pretty sure they’re taking you to
another hospital, brother.
SCILS
Oh right, cuz they think I’m crazy.
LEEFER
Scils, what you did this morning
was undeniably legendary and will
probably live on in frat lore
forever but I gotsta know
something.
SCILS
Sure.
LEEFER
What specifically was going through
your head when you decided to start
shitting on the Adams County PD?
SCILS
I figure I’m going to a psych ward
no matter what my next move is, so
I might as well embrace it, you
know cash in on a momentous
occasion. I don’t think I’ll ever
be in a position to poop on cops
again and not go to jail so I
fucking did it.
The boys lol. Reed does a classic frant salute.
REED
Hi hi.
LEEFER
Total Scils move. Hi hi
Doctor Reich enters.
DOCTOR REICH
Bye, Bye. Seriously bros, time to
bounce. Peace out.
Scils looks on with angry, squinty eyes.

70.

REED
Get better, Scils.
LEEFER
We’re all in your corner, Rock.
SCILS
Home team.
Scils exchanges fist pounds with his brothers.
EXT. PA-15 - NIGHT
An ambulance races through the crowded streets running red
lights and hammering its sirens. Scils lays in the back with
defeat and fatigue in eyes he can barely keep open.
EXT. YORK HOSPITAL - NIGHT
An African-American man--handsome, burly, early forties,
wheels Scils toward the hospital. He is MICHAEL.
SCILS
Are you taking me to the Looney
Bin?
MICHAEL
Nope, I’m taking you to a short
term crisis management facility.
SCILS
So in other words, a psych ward?
MICHAEL
We’re gonna take a look at your
head and get you back on your feet.
SCILS
(to himself, defeated)
Should’ve pressed the under.
They enter YORK HOSPITAL.
INT. YORK HOSPITAL - PSYCH WARD - NIGHT
Michael swipes his badge and wheels Scils onto the unit. One
old man in a hospital garment stands alone and drools. He is
the DROOLING OLD MAN. By the only window, a rugged, middle
aged woman mumbles to herself. She is TRACY. Scils spots a
tweenager with mild MR twirling his hair with a very
perplexed gaze, staring straight at him. He is CRAZY KENNY.

71.
DINING AREA - MORNING
Scils is eating breakfast. The portions are double and its
finger food only--bread and sausage. He addresses a hulking
African American, early 30’s. He is LEON.
SCILS
Can I have a knife?
Leon reads a chart.
NURSE LEON
You’re Mr. Thomas Skillapotti?
SCILS
Shil-uh-poh-tee.
NURSE LEON
Sorry guy, can’t do it.
SCILS
Why the eff not?
NURSE LEON
You’re to be given finger food
only.
SCILS
Why? Why am I to be given finger
food only? Oh yeah, now I remember,
because the son of a proud
Sicilian, published author and
veteran of the Gettysburg
Philosophy department might attempt
suicide with a plastic fork!?!?
NURSE LEON
Doctors orders. Don’t write em,
don’t dare disobey em.
SCILS
Can I at least have my shoe laces
back?
NURSE LEON
Yes you may, when you get out.
SCILS
This is horse shit!
Scils grabs a sausage link, takes a big bite, instantly
de-escalates and goes back for more. Scils surveys the
premises. Crazy Kenny taps him on the shoulder.

72.
CRAZY KENNY
What did you do?
SCILS
Honestly kid, I bruised the wrong
ego.
CRAZY KENNY
What’s that mean?
SCILS
It means I should be back at
school.
CRAZY KENNY
Me too.
Crazy Kenny makes a creepy smile and continues on.
MED LINE - DAY
A tall, somewhat gangling nurse in his late forties speaks
loudly. He is NURSE GLEN.
NURSE GLEN
Alright ladies, gentlemen and Gary,
nine O’clock. Pick a window and
line up. Single file.
A pack of patients instantly rush to the med windows. Scils
just sits there.
The nurses present a buffet of pills for most patients. A
outdoorsy, hip nurse (30) spots Scils sitting still and
waves him in. He is NURSE TREY. Reluctantly, Scils
approaches his window.
NURSE TREY
I spoke to mama bear, real sweet
lady.
SCILS
Yeah she’s got a heart of Egyptian
gold.
NURSE TREY
She and your pops are coming to
visit this afternoon. Said to save
some room for your favorites.
SCILS
Shweet.
Trey presents two small pills and a cup of water.

73.
SCILS
I got some sleep. I’m good.
NURSE TREY
Refusing medication will not
expedite your exit, Scils.
Trey winks. Scils takes down the pills.
NURSES STATION
A cute, amicable nurse (23) slides Scils his journal. She is
NURSE KELSEY.
NURSE KELSEY
Here you go bro. Need a pencil?
Scils nods. Kelsey gives him a tiny golf pencil.
SCILS
Can I get a bigger pencil?
NURSE KELSEY
Um, sorry. These are the biggest
pencils we can give out.
SCILS
But I’m a published author.
NURSE KELSEY
Sorry dude, it’s for your own
safety.
SCILS
Spare me.
Scils makes a salty smile and grabs the golf pencil.
COMMON AREA
Scils looks out of the barred up window, sees nothing but
aging, charcoal buildings and begins writing in his journal.
SCILS (V.O)
An optimistic outlook is hard
perpetually carry when you’ve
dealt as many sick beats as I
I’m not so sure if the God of
youth really exists.

to
been
have.
my

Crazy Kenny starts yelling, screaming and banging his head
on the floor. Nurse Glen then several burly men arrive on
the scene.

74.

SCILS (V.O)
Maybe God is a current of warm love
that flows through his Creation and
not a grey, old watchmaker.
SECLUSION ROOM
Nurses Trey and Nurse Glen sit on the floor, speak with
compassionate eyes as they deescalate Crazy Kenny.
SCILS (V.O)
I don’t know, this kind of justice
feels a lot more cruel, unnecessary
than poetic and preordained. And
maybe just maybe the old proverb is
true.
COMMON AREA
Scils record his journal entry, his pencil tip breaks. He
manually sharpens his tiny pencil, then continues.
SCILS (V.O)
Justice? You don’t get justice in
this world. It’s for the next
world. In this world, you have the
law.
BEDROOM
Scils lays in his tiny cot sulking to himself.
SCILS (V.O)
And according to Pennsylvania law,
I’m a dangerous, suicidal abuser of
illegal narcotics bound to a locked
in facility indefinitely.
DINING AREA
Tom sits with a young, male Indian doctor (34). He is DOCTOR
KULGHI.
DOCTOR KULGHI
So what do you think’s wrong with
you? Why are you here?
SCILS
Honestly Doctor Cool Guy.
DOCTOR KULGHI
Cool-gee

75.

SCILS
Honestly Doctor Kulghi, I think too
much.
DOCTOR KULGHI
No.
The doctor taps on Scils’s report.
DOCTOR KULGHI
It’s cannabis.
SCILS
Cannabis?
DOCTOR KULGHI
There are a lot of chemicals in
cannabis and they don’t mix well
with Lithium, especially when you
take it sporadically.
SCILS
Okay.
DOCTOR KULGHI
You need to stop drinking and
smoking pot. You need to cut it out
all together.
SCILS
Stop partying? But I’m in my fifth
year of college.
DOCTOR KULGHI
Listen, you’re twenty two years old
and you’re in a psychiatric
hospital.
SCILS
Well, not by choice.
DOCTOR KULGHI
Which makes it even more alarming.
Look, with bipolar you can’t afford
to be putting funny chemicals into
your brain.
SCILS
So I should just stay stone cold
sober and take a buffet of psych
meds?

76.

DOCTOR KULGHI
Exercise, eat healthy, enjoy
hobbies, take your mood stablizers
and you won’t feel the need to
self-medicate.
SCILS
I don’t smoke to self-medicate. I
smoke to laugh, think and truly
appreciate comedies.
DOCTOR KULGHI
You can do all that without
cannabis and you must, for the sake
of your health. There’s nothing
funny about marijuana induced
psychosis.
LATER Scils wears a forlorn gaze until he spots his father holding
a pizza box and his mother holding a yellow shirt from
Hawaii as well as a bag that says CR Wings. Beautiful, a
little big boned and curly haired she is TERESA SCILIPOTI.
MRS. SCILIPOTI
We brought some snacks, boyeee.
Scils munches on pizza and wings.
MRS. SCILIPOTI
Sunday morning the doctor’s said.
If everything goes well.
SCILS
What are you doing this weekend? Oh
I’m committed against my will, so
I’ll be playing War and reading
Danielle Steele novels within some
white padded walls.
MRS. SCILIPOTI
A little optimism goes a long way
son.
SCILS
I hope I can still graduate. I’m
more than ready.
MR. SCILIPOTI
Your health should be your number
one concern right now.

77.
SCILS
It is. But I don’t like breaking
promises.
MRS. SCILIPOTI
Well sometimes, circumstances make
that inevitable.
SCILS
And hopefully overcomable. Did you
get my cell phone fixed?
MR. SCILIPOTI
Verizon’s still working on it. They
weren’t sure what the glitch was.
SCILS
That’s because it’s a mystical
glitch.
Scils’ parents look at each other with worry and skepticism.
MRS. SCILIPOTI
So, make any new friends?
Scils nods over to Crazy Kenny who’s approaching and
salivating.
LATER An empty pizza box and chicken wing bones lay on the
table.
MR. SCILIPOTI
I know you’re not a big rule guy
but I want to lay one down.
Cooperate with the staff.
SCILS
I am.
MRS. SCILIPOTI
We just wanna make sure that’s
clear. We want you to get better,
get back to school and not do
anything to prolong your stay.
SCILS
Word.
LEON
Alright party people, visiting
hours are over.

78.

MRS. SCILIPOTI
We love you so much Thomas.
Remember, the universe has both a
sense of humor and special plans
for you.
SCILS
I believe you.
Scils hugs his mom, she kisses him on the cheek. Scils hugs
his dad and kisses him on the cheek.
SCILS
(robot voice)
Driiive saaafe.
COMMON AREA - NIGHT
Scils is deep into a discussion with Nurses Glen and Trey.
NURSE GLEN
So you don’t believe in the God as
described in the Bible is what
you’re saying?
An extremely thin and equally geriatric patient approaches.
He is the ELMER.
SCILS
Ultimately, I see God as a magnet
of supreme energy that attracts
positive charges. Yahweh was more
like an angry, jealous, cruel,
irrational and vindictive shithead
step-father. Seems pretty
anthropomorphic.
The nurses nod in curiosity and resonance.
SCILS
Like humans creating a primal
leader in their own image not the
purple majesty of the cosmos. So I
bow to the reiki, the universal
energy of love, light, healing,
beyond words beauty.
NURSE TREY
Wow. That’s pretty hedi.
NURSE GLEN
Sick answer, Scils.

79.

NURSE TREY
You into music?
SCILS
Of course. Grew up with Napster,
got exposed to so much great music.
NURSE GLEN
Can I ask a question?
SCILS
Sure.
NURSE TREY
Who’s your favorite musician?
SCILS
Dave Matthews.
NURSE GLEN
No kidding, that’s Trey’s favorite
musician.
NURSE TREY
What’s your favorite Dave album?
SCILS
Before these Crowded Streets.
NURSE TREY
That album, if people really
listened to it, would be the next
dark side of the moon.
SCILS
Definitely changed my life for the
better.
Elmer puts his bony hand on Scils’ shoulder.
ELMER
Are you a doctor or a patient?
SCILS
Um currently, I’m a patient.
ELMER
Thanks for not killing me.
ENTRANCE

80.
A new patient is wheeled in with some resistance and plenty
of noise by a scrawny male nurse in his early sixties. He is
NURSE CLYDE. The patient is gorgeous, blond, petite and in
her mid twenties. She is DRUNK KARA.
DRUNK KARA
Fuck this. No, fuck no! I’m not
signing shit! That fucking pig got
just what he needed!
NURSE TREY
Later Scils.
NURSE GLEN
We’ll talk at cha later.
DRUNK KARA
Where the fuck am I?
NURSE CLYDE
Young lady you’re in a place you
need to be in right now. For your
own health and safety.
DRUNK KARA
Fuck that! No. No! You took me to
the Looney Bin!?!?
NURSE CLYDE
A short term crisis management
facility, yes indeedy.
DRUNK KARA
Fuck no! I have two little kids at
home, they need me! They need their
mommy! Holy shit!
Drunk Kara catches a quick glimpse at Elmer who’s staring at
her as she’s being wheeled to her room.
DRUNK KARA
You’re my boy blue!
Scils flashes a quick stare at Drunk Kara from afar as she’s
wheeled in and out of his eye line.
MED LINE - MORNING
Scils takes in his next round of meds, grabs his journal, an
eight page letter and heads to the
COMMON AREA
Scils sits peacefully and reads the letter.

81.
MRS. BUONVITA (V.O)
It’s 10 O’Clock on a beautiful
Sunday morning and dragonflies are
circling all around.
Scils
tears
way.
hard.

turns to page three. The top reads, "My heart shed
of joy, tears of sorrow and beat for "Chris" the whole
I emptied tissue boxes and hurt my face laughing so
You have a special gift, Thomas."

Scils nears the end of the letter.
MRS. BUONVITA (V.O)
I don’t know the mind of God, but I
do know the love of God. And trust
me, its boundless.
Scils thumbs to the very end.
MRS. BUONVITA (V.O)
Faith tested through fire turns
into gold and I know that I know
that I know God has some very big
plans for you.
Scils wipes some tears off his eyes and begins to journal.
SCILS (V.O)
Aristotle once wrote that no one
could really live without friends.
I believe it, especially when you
add family to the equation. And for
all of the sick beats I’ve been
dealt, the deck’s always been
stacked in my favor because I have
the best parents and friends I
could’ve ever asked for.
Scils plays "War" and bullshits with Crazy Kenny MOS. Crazy
Kenny keeps cracking up.
SCILS (V.O)
I need to stop complaining and take
in the gem wisdom. Light reflects
light, darkness reflects darkness.
If I interpret my life in a dark
way, my thoughts, words, and deeds
will be dark. If I interpret my
life in a bright way, the opposite
will be true.
It’s group time and all of the patients gather. Nurse
Kelsey presents a poster that says "Ways to Manage Anger."

82.

SCILS (V.O)
People will hear that I was here
and cast me in a condescending
shadow. They can go get fisted.
Doctor Seuss was right, "Be who you
are and say what you feel because
the ones that matter don’t mind and
the ones that mind don’t matter."
LATER - SCILS’S ROOM - NIGHT
Elmer stares right at Scils who rolls around in his bed,
unable to quiet his mind. Scils reaches for his journal. The
Bodhisattiva of Compassion figurine rests on his night
stand.
COMMON AREA
Scils enters holding his journal. Kara lays on a couch and
greets him.
DRUNK KARA
I can’t sleep. My roommate won’t
stop talking to herself.
SCILS
Yeah my roommate won’t stop staring
at me.
DRUNK KARA
Haha, it’s official, I already hate
this place.
SCILS
Definitely a unique experience and
at least the staff is nice. Still
it would be kinda cool to be able
to have eating utensils and or
shoes with shoelaces. I’m Tom by
the way.
DRUNK KARA
Kara.
SCILS
Kara, so glad we’re in a white,
padded locked-in facility together.
DRUNK KARA
Ha, me too!
Kara cozies up on the couch.

83.

DRUNK KARA
How did a guy like you get here?
You seem pretty down to Earth.
SCILS
Well I’m definitely a little off,
but honestly, who isn’t? Don’t
think I belong in here but I was
smoking a lot of blunts and like,
next thing I know, I’m being
committed to a psychiatric facility
against my will.
DRUNK KARA
Haha. Trust me, I can relate.
Tracy, Kara’s roommate, wanders out of their room and to the
window, mumbling to herself.
TRACY
I’m a get cha, I’m a ima getcha, my
little kitty. Reaaar.
SCILS
Yeah, so you gonna introduce me to
your roommate, errr?
Kara laughs out loud, Tracy paws on a window and meows.
DRUNK KARA
Why, you like her or something?
SCILS
I mean, I don’t know if I like like
her yet, but yeah, I’d bone her.
Tracy puts her eye up close on the window.
TRACY
I’m, I’m gonna throw me a pity
party. Ya see?
DRUNK KARA
Bone’s such a funny word. My ex
husband used to say pork.
SCILS
Well clearly he’s the man.
DRUNK KARA
Yeah well actually, he’s dead.
Sike, but he like kinda is to me.
Cheated on me with have of Kutztown
(MORE)

84.

DRUNK KARA (cont’d)
and I’ve been drinking like a fifth
of Zelco a day since me we split
up.
SCILS
Kara, I don’t mean to make this a
Full House moment but
The pace slows, the sentimental reconcilatory moment MUSIC
sets in, ala a Miller-Boyett sitcom. Scils takes a seat next
to Kara.
SCILS
Don’t you have little kids at home?
DRUNK KARA
Nicole and Austin, they’re the
loves of my life.
SCILS
Spoken like a true mama bear. And
I’m sure you’d do anything for the
sake of your cubs, right?
DRUNK KARA
Of course I would.
SCILS
Maybe you should stop crushing a
fifth of Vodka daily?
DRUNK KARA
I know. I need to get better. It’ll
make me such a better mother. I
just, don’t feel like I can do it
alone.
SCILS
Single motherhood is probably one
of if not the hardest job in the
world.
DRUNK KARA
(slowly, seductively)
Yeah it is a hard, job.
Kara caresses Scils’s arm. He looks over at Nurse Leon who
starts walking towards them.

85.

SCILS
I have a girlfriend. I think I’m in
love with her.
DRUNK KARA
Are you serious dude? That woman’s
skizo, she won’t even know if we’re
real.
SCILS
But that guy will.
They both turn to see Leon creepin.
DRUNK KARA
Oh. Well maybe I could give you an
under the hospital blanket HJ in
like five.
SCILS
Um, very tempting but I have a
girlfriend and I know I’m in love
with her, she’s basically all I
think about, and it’s all happy
thoughts, like the kind that could
warm three winter months.
DRUNK KARA
Oh. Well she’s a very lucky gal
then.
SCILS
And so are you, to have such
wonderful, amazing kids and
breathtaking beauty. I’m not a
saint but I’ve been known to preach
a little bit, and with a gift like
those beautiful little children
comes the duty to preserve it. I
want you to picture how happy
Nicole and Austin’ll be to see
mommy’s coming home happy, healthy
and not slayed on Vodka.
DRUNK KARA
It would be like Santa came three
months early.
SCILS
Concentrate on that image, listen
to the doctors, channel that
infinite maternal love to all
thoughts, words and deeds and I
(MORE)

86.

SCILS (cont’d)
promise you, this will all prove be
a blessing in disguise, a rose that
bloomed in a wasteland.
DRUNK KARA
You swear?
SCILS
You tell me?
Scils holds up his hand and open pinky. Kara reciprocates
and they lock pinkies and kiss their hands thus sealing the
pinky swear and completing the Full House moment. "AWWWSS"
from the laugh track follow the kiss. Then CHEESY SAXOPHONE
RIFFS sound off alongside the closing credits and still
images from the scene, like the Tracy clawing the window,
Leon creeping, Scils and Kara connecting.
MED LINE - MORNING
Scils takes down his meds. Patients assemble for group.
TV ROOM
NURSE KELSEY
What’s your goal for today?
Nurse Kelsey points to a sweet old lady.
JOSIE
To keep praying to God. God’s
always the answer.
NURSE KELSEY
Very good, Josephine. Often times
people can derive a lot of strength
from religious or spiritual
beliefs.
NURSE KELSEY
How bout you Kara?
KARA
My goal for today is to
Kara and Scils exchange intimate eye contact.
KARA
Cooperate with the staff, stay
positive and laugh often.

87.

NURSE KELSEY
That’s a great goal.
SCILS
Champions league quality.
NURSE KELSEY
Kenny?
Crazy Kenny shrugs.
NURSE KELSEY
You have no goals for today?
CRAZY KENNY
I don’t know.
SCILS
How bout tell your teacher you love
her rather than you’re gonna chop
her head off and stay safe?
CRAZY KENNY
Okay.
NURSE KELSEY
What about you Tracy?
TRACY
I’m gonna get a shotgun, and I’m
gonna shoot somebody!
Tracy laughs out loud.
NURSE KELSEY
That’s not a safe goal Tracy, wanna
rethink that?
SCILS
Whoa, I don’t think she was being
literal. Perhaps the shotgun is a
symbol of her wit and by "shooting
someone" with her "shotgun" she
meant she was gonna make them
laugh. Mission accomplished.
Kara and a few others crack up.
NURSE KELSEY
What are you gonna do today?

88.
SCILS
Today? Well hopefully I’m gonna go
home and play with my dog. He’s a
big, friendly yellow Labrador and
I’m gonna pet him because I love
him and really miss him. Then I’m
gonna email all my professors,
catch up on my missed classwork,
finally get relationship
confirmation from my queen and then
I’ll sleep in my nice comfortable
bed eternally grateful that I no
longer have to wear shoes without
shoelaces.
LATER - DINING AREA
Scils is playing war with Kenny. Scils has most of the deck,
Kenny has a few cards left. Scils pulls a King.
SCILS
Surrender.
Kenny pauses and pulls an Ace from the back of his set.
SCILS
Niiice try, kid.
Scils takes the Ace and King. Mr. Scilipoti enters.
SCILS
Finally mother fucker.
Nurse Trey enters from the Nurses Station holding a bag full
of Scils’s belongings--Mint Skoal, Mrs. Buonvita’s letter, a
journal, a thick wallet and a copy of "Up All Fortnight".
Scils and his father sit with Doctor Kuhlghi as they go
through some paperwork.
CRAZY KENNY
Don’t go. Argh, please stay. We can
be best friends.
Scils signs a document.
SCILS
It’s my time Kenny and trust me,
you’ll have yours too. And when
you’re no longer involuntarily
committed to a psychiatric
hospital, I want you to promise me
one thing.

89.
CRAZY KENNY
Okay.
SCILS
Promise me that you won’t make any
more death threats. They make
people uneasy, even if their not
even intended to be threats. I know
from experience dude, if you know
what I mean.
Scils gives Kenny a thumbs up.
CRAZY KENNY
Alllright.
Scils scrolls through and signs another document.
DOCTOR KULGHI
Okay young man, you’re good to go.
Just remember, sobriety is the key
to your success.
SCILS
Word.
Scils circles the premises and says his good-byes. Scils
approaches Kara.
CRAZY KENNY
Kiss her, kiss her. Argh, are you
gonna kiss her?
SCILS
Kara, promise me you’ll get better
for Nicole and Austin.
KARA
I will.
Scils plants a slow, deliberate kiss on her cheek. Crazy
Kenny cheers.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Scils and his father walk and talk.
MR. SCILIPOTI
I’m proud of you, Thomas.
SCILS
Didn’t think involuntary commitment
would be a source of pride.

90.
MR. SCILIPOTI
You keep showing me that you can
handle adversity very well. The
nurses said you were very kind,
intelligent and exceptionally well
behaved.
SCILS
It was all about set and setting.
That’s a good hospital.
MR. SCILIPOTI
You didn’t ask to be bipolar but
you’ve played it like a man. You
don’t complain and you’re more than
willing to carry your cross.
Remember son, the true test of a
man is how well he handles
adversity.
SCILS
Yeah I shit on adversity,
literally.
MR. SCILIPOTI
We know. And the borough police
found that out the hard way.
SCILS
More like the warm, liquidity way
but yeah.
INT/EXT. MR. SCILIPOTI’S VOLVO - DAY
Scils and his father cruise down I-30.
MR. SCILIPOTI
So, lot of money in your wallet,
Thomas. You selling pot?
SCILS
How do you know its not poker
winnings?
MR. SCILIPOTI
I read some of your text messages.
"Hey dude, got any onion’s left?
Hey bro, I’m dry. When you picking
up again?"
SCILS
I never took you for a helicopter
parent, Karl.

91.
MR. SCILIPOTI
(infuriated)
Oh yeah! What’s supposed to mean?
SCILS
I just thought phone surveillance
was for soccer moms, not Sicilan
men. Did you read my emails too,
officer?
Instantly, Tom gets bitch slapped by his Father.
MR. SCILIPOTI
You’re selling pot, skipping
classes we’re paying for, not
taking your meds and now you wanna
get flip with me!?!? You wanna get
flip with me, Thomas!?!?
SCILS
No, that was definitely a mistake.
And I’m sorry.
MR. SCILIPOTI
Your mother and I had a right to
know. We were just being parents.
One day, you’ll be in a position to
understand.
SCILS
I believe you. Anything texts or
voicemails from Maggie?
MR. SCILIPOTI
Nah just B Fahr, Sizzle, Delly Boy,
Lame AJ and somebody named Giggles.
Mary also left you a nice
voicemail, you should hit her
back.
SCILS
I will.
MR. SCILIPOTI
I don’t wanna preach to you and I
know you have a lot on your plate,
but this pot phase, has got to end,
now!
SCILS
It will, Papa.
Scils’s ring tone sounds off.

92.

SCILS
Sup Buonvita?
BUONVITA (O.S)
What it is Scils?
MR. SCILIPOTI
Sounds like the godfather himself.
SCILS
Oh just cruising out of York, PA.
BUONVITA (O.S)
Word. What are you doing up there?
SCILS
Um, it’s kind of a funny story.
MR. SCILIPOTI
Let me talk to him.
Scils hands his father his phone.
MR. SCILIPOTI
Yo Adam.
INT. BUONVITA’S APARTMENT - DAY
Buonvita is weighing out bags of weed.
BUONVITA
Sup Mr. Carlo?
MR. SCILIPOTI (O.S)
Just driving Tommy Boy home.
Listen, I know what you’re doing is
lucratrive but it ain’t worth it,
brother. If you get caught again
you’re looking at some serious
time.
BUONVITA
I know, but school’s really
expensive.
MR. SCILIPOTI (O.S)
I hear you but not as expensive as
a decade behind bars.
BUONVITA
You right.
INT. SCILIPOTI HOUSE - DAY

93.

ENTRANCE
Scils walks in, breathing in the sweet air and comfort of
his home.
BUONVITA (O.S)
Definitely axe Operation McDoogals
breakfast. Maybe you should stop
smoking herb for a while too.
TOMMY
It’s definitely in my best
interest.
Scil’s big, round yellow lab (10) wags his tail and trucks
up to him.
SCILS
Sammy!
Sammy starts licking Scils’s face.
COMPUTER ROOM
Scils logs into Facebook. He has one new message from Maggie
and opens it swiftly. Sammy lays beside him.
MAGGIE (V.O)
Tom, sorry for the delayed
response. It was a lot to digest.
Having said that, your request
really surprised me to be honest. I
couldn’t tell if you were serious
or this was another one of your
quirky gestures.
FIREPLACE
Scils pets his dog with teary eyes.
MAGGIE (V.O)
I have valued your loyalty and
guidance throughout our friendship,
and when I told you I kept your
book with me all the time, it was
completely true.
INT/EXT. MRS. SCILIPOTI’S CAMRY - DAY
Scils rides shotgun as his mom cruises under the
"Gettysburg" Exit on I-140.

94.

MAGGIE (V.O)
But it wasn’t meant to be a hint
towards anything more than a strong
and dependable friendship, at least
for the time being.
INT/EXT. MRS. SCILIPOTI’S CAMRY - DAY
Scils and his mother pass a national park dedicated to the
battle of Gettysburg.
MAGGIE (V.O)
Your book and your kind words have
always been a comfort to me, and I
wanted you to know the impact that
they had. I apologize for not
making that clearer.
EXT. WATER STREET - DAY
Mrs. Scilipoti’s Camry cruises through a busy college
campus.
MAGGIE (O.S)
But, I like you as a friend and
don’t want to ruin our friendship
by taking on a romantic
relationship. I hope you can
understand.
INT. WEIDENSALL HALL - DAY
Professor Porter is flowing with a lecture.
PROF PORTER
And it’s precisely because of its
temporal, fleeting nature. The fact
that it won’t be here forever, that
makes it beautiful.
Scils makes a poignant smile and writes in his notebook.
PROF PORTER
I want you guys to meditate on
Danto’s essay "On beauty" and jot
down some reflections for
Friday’s discussion. Ciao!
Students begin to pour out of the classroom.
ABBY
Bullet?

95.

SCILS
Uh-huh.
INT. BULLET HOLE CAFE - DAY
Abby and Scils chat in a booth.
ABBY
So, what’s new with you? How did
everything go with Maggie Cross?
We follow some other collegiate conversations in the cafe as
Scils and Abby chat. Three sorority girls replay their
weekend.
PINK BOW
When I came to, I was buck ass
naked in the TKE basement.
NORTH FACE JACKET
Ew.
PINK BOW
Getting eiffel towered by two of
their pledges.
POPPED COLLAR
Damn girl, clean your vag.
PINK BOW
Dudes, they were hot!
We move to a group of freshmen frat bros.
TEEL LACOSTE
I was waxing cups like Daniel-Son.
TRIP
Bro, you couldn’t even hit a high
school cup.
TEEL LACOSTE
Bro, I was an last cup assassin,
all night long.
PINK POLO
An assassin for the Swiss army,
maybe.
We move back to Scils and Abby’s convo.

96.

SCILS
So we’re gonna be just friends, for
now.
ABBY
Sorry to hear.
SCILS
What about you? You seem to be in
much brighter spirits.
ABBY
Yeah, oh my God, I had the
craziest/most awesome weekend ever.
I have to tell you all about it.
SCILS
I’m sure it was siiick but I think
my weekend was crazier.
ABBY
Doubt it.
SCILS
How much you wanna wager?
ABBY
An iced mocha.
SCILS
Done. Ladies first.
ABBY
So me and Lexia took a train to the
NYC this weekend and we stayed up
all night at her brother’s bar,
crushing lines, shooting pool. I
lost all perception of time. I
walked out of the bar, it was like
noon. Then this girl I had been
talking to invited me back to her
place.
SCILS
For coffee?
ABBY
No Thomas.
SCILS
A Wes Anderson Film Fest?

97.

ABBY
She brought out a strap on.
SCILS
I didn’t know you got down like
that.
ABBY
Duh, I’m bisexual. Come on,
everybody knows that. We got weird,
fucked each others’ brains out, it
was exactly what I needed. Then me
and Lexia met up with her parents
for a Ben Harper show in Philly.
SCILS
Ben Harper? He’s such a purist.
ABBY
I know, that’s what makes my
weekend so ironic.
SCILS
What did he close with?
ABBY
Waiting on an angel.
SCILS
Personal favorite.
ABBY
Yeah it was mad chill. So your
weekend was crazier?
INT. SIK - SCILS’S ROOM - DAY
Scils spits Peach Skoal into an iced mocha bottle as he logs
into Faceboook. On the upcoming birthdays section it says,
"Margaret Sophia Cross. September 21st". One message is in
his inbox from "Andrew Cross". It reads, "Here’s Maggie’s
address. Thanks for doing this man, I’m sure my sister will
really appreciate it."
EXT. THE QUAD - DAY
Scils walks through campus holding a big, orange, bubble
padded mailer.
INT. COLLEGE UNION BUILDING - MAIL ROOM

98.

Scils stands at the counter. Pledge O’Neil picks up the
package and weighs it. It’s aesthetically rich with cool
pictures of Bob Marley, Dave Matthews, Ben Harper and a
typed quote in Italian that reads, "Better late than never."
O’NEIL
Great work, Scils.
Reed weighs the package.
O’NEIL
How do you want me to ship it?
SCILS
First class express, Mikey.
Scils pulls out two crisp twenties from his full wallet.
INT. HEALTH CENTER - DAY
DOCTOR WILSON’S OFFICE
Scils reclines on a chair, Doctor Wilson sits at this desk.
DOCTOR WILSON
So Thomas, let me clarify. The only
reason I can discuss this with you
legally, is because you mentioned
my name during the episode in
question.
SCILS
How long have you known me, Doctor?
DOCTOR WILSON
Um, it’ll be three years next
month.
SCILS
Right? Do you think I give a fuck
about legal protocol?
DOCTOR WILSON
No, that’s one of your most
eccentric, libertarian features.
But I just wanted to make sure I
was ethical about this.
SCILS
Okay.

99.
DOCTOR REICH
Having said that, I think Doctor
Reich handled your situation very
poorly.
SCILS
Finally! Outside confirmation.
DOCTOR WILSON
When a patient’s been up for as
long as you had been, first thing
you do is sedate them. That’s day
one of med school shit.
SCILS
Well I guess that wasn’t part of
the curriculum at Clown U. I really
wish you were there that night.
DOCTOR WILSON
I was in bed with my wife. But if
they would’ve called me, I would’ve
have been there for sure.
SCILS
So given the fact that I was
essentially forced into a hospital
that totally fucked up my treatment
and then sent me away to a
locked-in facility indefinitely,
let’s figure out a gameplan for
December’s graduation.
DOCTOR WILSON
I’m afraid it’ll be fruitless.
SCILS
Fruitless?
DOCTOR WILSON
Following your little episode, your
options became scarce and now, your
only option is taking the rest of
the semester off.
SCILS
No. No! Fuck no! Ugh-ugh. No way!
DOCTOR WILSON
As much as it pains me to say this,
your mother will have to wait
another year to see you cross the
stage. There’s nothing I can do.
It’s non-negotiable.

100.

SCILS
Can’t you let me float by, for old
times sake?
DOCTOR WILSON
The float’s been popped Thomas and
none of your teacher’s will let you
continue down stream.
Scils sheds a tear.
SCILS
None?
DOCTOR WILSON
They all said you missed way too
much class to allow you to
continue. Except for Becka, but I’m
pretty sure she’s still terrified
of you.
SCILS
That’s more on her than me.
DOCTOR WILSON
But what I can do is award you a
medical leave of absence and make
it retroactive so your folks can
get the majority of their money
back for the semester. I’ll just
need you to sign some paperwork.
Doctor Wilson passes Scils some papers and a pen.
SCILS
Hurts a lot more the second time
around.
DOCTOR WILSON
You’ll bounce back, kid. It’s in
your DNA.
Scils thumbs through the papers and reluctantly puts his
signature to them.
WAITING ROOM
Scils exits Doctor Wilson’s office and spots Abby, who’s
wearing a Red Sox hat and reading quietly from a couch. She
doesn’t see Scils at first and he taps her.

101.

SCILS
Hey girl, hey.
ABBY
Tommy Scils, what are you doing on
this side of the health center?
SCILS
Oh, I got an executive order to see
the school psychologist. You?
ABBY
I’m afraid that’s classified
information Mr. Scilipoti.
SCILS
You’re feeling like your genius is
lost in a wasp’s nest like
Gettysburg?
ABBY
Well there’s that plus alcoholism,
insatiable nicotine, adderall and
cocaine addictions, and
uh, usually not remembering
Tuesday through Sunday.
SCILS
You must blackout a lot.
ABBY
Go hard or go home, right?
SCILS
I went too hard, and now I’m going
home.
ABBY
For the weekend?
SCILS
Nah, the rest of 2007.
ABBY
So sorry to hear.
SCILS
Me too.
ABBY
So are you leaving like now?

102.

SCILS
Nah, tomorrow probably. Hotel party
at SIK tonight.
ABBY
Siiick.
SCILS
I’m positive that they’ll be plenty
of temptations in every room and if
you’re trying to ween off excess,
definitely don’t come but it will
be my last night in Gettysburg this
year soo...
ABBY
You wanna throw some farewell ruit?
SCILS
Metaphorically and literally.
Nothing would make me happier.
Doctor Wilson opens his door and calls Abby in.
DOCTOR WILSON
Miss Gates.
ABBY
Meet you at the hotel, Tommy Boy.
Abby flashes Scils a seductive smile.
INT. BREIDENBALL HALL - HALLWAY - DAY
Scils knocks on Becka’s door.
BECKA (O.S)
Who is it?
Scils does an impression of her 73 year old husband, Waldo.
SCILS
(old regal voice)
Becka dear, it’s Waldo. How quickly
can you have your bags packed for
Milan?
Becka opens the door.
BECKA
Scils, what are you doing here?

103.
SCILS
(flirty, confident)
You know what I’m doing here.
BECKA
Um, you really shouldn’t be making
unannounced visits, Thomas.
SCILS
Well you should know me well enough
by now to know what my favorite
sacrament is.
BECKA
I’m already a married woman, Scils.
SCILS
Duh. I’m just trying to reconcile.
Scils flashes a peace sign.
BECKA’S OFFICE
Scils sits as he packs a fat lip of Skoal Straight and puts
it in his lower lip.
SCILS
You’ve done so much for me and my
infant career and I just wanted to
apologize for freaking you out.
BECKA
It was intense for a while and I
didn’t mean to belittle you, the
threat that I sensed was always you
against yourself.
SCILS
If I had a dime for everytime I
heard that I could buy an Xbox 360
and FIFA 2008, I get misread a lot.
Scils spits tobacco juice in a tiny white cup.
BECKA
That’s because you’re a very
complex figure and sometimes say
and do things that really alarm
people.
SCILS
Because they don’t realize that
perfect love casts out fear!

104.

BECKA
Not sure what that even means but
the point is, you weren’t yourself
for a while and I was honestly
terrified. The last thing I want to
relive is my mother’s mania.
SCILS
Obvi and I guess I still have some
healing to do but, right now I’m
feeling level enough to say that I
won’t make fun of you in my next
book, too hard and I definitely
plan on keeping my promise to give
you a cameo when my first film gets
green lit.
BECKA
You better.
SCILS
Can we be friends again?
BECKA
What do you mean again?
Becka sees Scils out of her office. They shake hands.
SCILS
I’m glad we had this conversation.
INT. UNIVERSITY OF FLORENCE - MAILROOM - DUSK
Maggie and a couple of girl friends check their mailboxes.
Maggie has a couple of birthday cards in her box and a slip
indicating she has a package.
Maggie stands at the counter with great anticipation. She
looks at the decorated, aesthetically rich, orange mailer
and looks both surprised and excited to open it.
INT. U OF FLORENCE DORMS - MAGGIE’S ROOM - NIGHT
Maggie lays on her bed, listening to "Baby" by Dave Matthews
as she reads a letter. Scils’s package decorates her
bulletin board and "Up All Fortnight" rests on her
nightstand.
SCILS (V.O)
You’re such an awesome person
Maggie and deserve nothing but the
best life has to offer. I don’t
(MORE)

105.

SCILS (V.O) (cont’d)
need you to be my girlfriend to be
genuinely happy, I just need you to
be in my life.
Maggie smiles very warmly and sheds a small tear.
SCILS (V.O)
You’re easily one of my top five
favorite people and I treasure your
company. Take that however you like
but please know that it springs
from a deep-seated well of
sincerity that I cannot deny nor
help but flow from.
INT. SIK - NIGHT
BLUE ROOM
Pledges crack open cans of Guinness and put them into
glasses. Scils pours Bailey’s and Jameson into shot glasses.
Once the shots are ready, Scils makes a toast.
SCILS
To not making you guys kill puppies
and to becoming part of the sickest
brotherhood on campus in ten short
weeks.
Scils and the pledges begin chugging.
SECOND FLOOR
Shots are being served in every room. The rooms and halls
are crowded with drunken collegiate coeds. Scils enters
JIMBO’S ROOM
Shots are being served and a blunt is making its way around.
A guest passes the blunt to Scils. He declines and also
turns down a shot before he exits to the
HALLWAY
Scils makes his way through a crowd of drunken coeds. A kid
in a Pink Polo enters Dell’s room.
DELL’S ROOM
Jaegerbombs are being served in vast quantities.

106.

PINK POLO
Yo Delly, can I get a slice dude?
Dell reaches in his drawer and pulls out an eighth of weed.
DELL
Forty.
The dude tosses Dell two twenties and he tosses the bag.
Dell points to a Jaegerbomb. Pink Polo chugs it and heads to
the
HALLWAY
A drunken guest is blowing chunks in the corner. Scils
passes him on his way downstairs.
SCILS
Yeeeaah dog.
EXT. SIK - NIGHT
Scils is working door with a couple of the pledges. He packs
a fat lip of Wintergreen Grizzly and puts in his lower
lip. Three dudes, one girl roll up.
O’NEIL
I’m not so sure about this ratio.
Scils waves the girl in.
FRESHMEN BRO
Come on bro.
HEALY
Three to one’s a little
questionable, brah.
FRESHMEN BRO
Come on dudes. We heard it’s a
hotel tell party, there’s really no
room at the inn?
SCILS
There is. If you can name five Ace
of Base songs.
FRESHMEN BRO
Five?
SCILS
Yup.

107.

BACKWARDS VISOR
Um, I saw the sign.
FRESHMEN BRO
What’s that one? It’s a, it’s a
beautiful life.
O’Neil puts up two fingers.
TEAL LACOSTE
All that she wants.
BACKWARDS VISOR
Um, um don’t don’t don’t turn
around.
Scils puts up one finger.
The freshmen bros walk away as more groups approach.
FRESHMEN BRO
That question’s rigged.
TEAL LACOSTE
No worries bro, I can probably get
us into FIJI.
Scils waves in two girls and stops their dudes.
SCILS
You. What’s the meaning of life?
LAX FRO
Um, um to party.
SCILS
Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Nice try
but that’s not it.
POLO BUTTON UP
Well what is it?
SCILS
To live a meaningful life.
Scils waves the dudes in. A cute, petite freshmen girl is
enamored by the response. She is LIBBY.
LIBBY
I love this guy. You’re right, it
is to live a meaningful life.

108.
SCILS
Have fun kids.
Libby’s friend, also cute and petite turns back to Scils.
She is GWEN.
GWEN
Come hang out with us.
Scils takes a pregnant pause then heads toward the door
before he’s tapped on the shoulder but a short, pale fella
with a dirty goatee and wearing auto mechanic’s shirt with
his name written in cursive on the pocket. He is GUY.
GUY
Yo Scils. Made some brownies with
the "McDoogals" you sold me last
week.
SCILS
Brownies?
GUY
Got an extra large batch straight
out of the oven at my pad.
SCILS
Um, extra large.
GUY
Pretty hedi batch. You game?
SCILS
I promised myself I wouldn’t smoke
any weed tonight.
GUY
I’m pretty sure you eat weed
brownies.
SCILS
Sorry Guy, not trying to lose my
mind tonight.
INT. SIK - NIGHT
BASMENT
A group of freshies are playing ruit, bros vs. babes.
Libby’s shot rims around the cup, dude with a lax fro
fingers it out. Kid in a Polo Button Up points to an
isolated cup.

109.

POLO BUTTON UP
Island.
He throws an air ball. Scils cruises up to the babes with a
euphoric smile.
LIBBY
Heyyy!
(TO HER FRIENDS)
It’s the meaning of life, guy!
Scils nods and pulls out a ping pong ball from his pocket.
SCILS
Ladies, let’s play some ruit.
Scils stands with the girls, addresses the bros.
SCILS
Alright we’re playing Baltimore
style, three ball, rapid fire.
LAX FRO
We don’t play like that.
SCILS
We do in my house. Roooot!!
Scils drains an isolated cup.
POLO BUTTON UP
You didn’t call island.
Polo takes one cup away.
SCILS
It’s called a hero cup kids. You
hit it to flex your muscles not
because you think it’s worth two.
Roooot!
Scils drains another hero cup, signals Libby to shoot.
SCILS
Don’t think, just stare at the cup,
picture it going in and deliver.
Libby drains her shot, the boys toss the balls back.
MUSIC QUEUE: "SPLASH WATERFALLS" by Ludacris.
BEGIN RUIT MONTAGE.

110.

Libby points to a cup, Scils drains it.
The bros try to bounce one in, Scils swats in way out of
play, flashes a Dekembe Mutombo "Not in my house" finger
wave.
Gwen hits the second to last cup, Libby lips in the last.
Scils covers his eyes and sinks the last cup.
The bros put up their hands in defeat, Scil’s team shares a
group hug. Both girls kiss his cheeks.
Scils chugs a beer, then drains a "Sidewinder" shot.
Libby’s shot lips out.
LIBBY
Is there beer in that cup!?!?
SCILS
Not anymore. Hammmmeerrr!!!
Scils throws the ball with serious force straight at the
cup, it hits and knocks the cup over.
A series of cups get filled with ping pong balls and
removed, the girls cheer, celebrate, drink, laugh. Scils
looks very loose, comfortable and little buzzed and in the
zone. One cup is left for Scils to hit.
SCILS
Next.
Scils drains it.
LIBBY
How are you so good at this?
SCILS
Two beach summers, five years of
college, good form and a little zen
in the art.
GWEN
Oh, so you’re a super senior?
SCILS
Slash published author. Ended my
first book with a ruit metaphor
actually.

111.
GWEN
Funny.
SCILS
It’s really funny. Wanna see it?
LIBBY
Yes.
GWEN
Don’t show us your penis quite yet.
SCILS
I’ll show you my baby instead. Wait
here, I’ll bring you literature.
BLUE ROOM
Abby reads some of the materials Scils posted on his
door--high school soccer pictures and memories. Scils closes
in.
ABBY
These are so funny. Everybody’s
favorite memory involves you.
SCILS
Once upon a time.
ABBY
Maybe we can make some new ones.
Abby gives Scils sex eyes and licks her lips.
ABBY
Can I see your room?
SCILS
Honestly it’s so messy. I’m
embarassed by it.
ABBY
Well then have a drink with me.
SCILS
Um, don’t have a drink.
DELL
C’mon Scils. Get some!
ABBY
Yeah Scils. I don’t know how to be
any more explicit. I want you deep
inside of me, dude.

112.

SCILS
Um, ok. Um...
BEGIN

SEQUENCE.

INT. PINK PALACE - MARY’S APT - DAY Tommy is alone with a short, voluptuous girl in her beach
apartment. She is MARY. They lay on touching couches, she’s
very much in the mood.
MARY
So, what do you want to do?
TOMMY
(manic)
I wanna keep talking!
INT. SIK - NIGHT - PRESENT
BLUE ROOM
Scils snaps out of his awkward . Abby licks her lips, gives
him an seductive stare, caresses his arm.
SCILS
Okay um uh uh, did you bring a
raincoat?
ABBY
I have some rubbers in my purse.
SCILS
No, I meant a full body, often
polyester coat. Commonly used to
weather the rain.
ABBY
Why would I need one of those?
SCILS
Cuz you’re about to get wet.
Scils goes in for a sloppy, wet kiss as seemingly the whole
room watches and nods in approval. He picks Abby up into his
lap, continues the makeout sesh as he carries her into his
room.
SCIL’S ROOM
First, we hear the sound of AN OPENED MOUTH KISS. Then, a
DRESS SLIPPING OFF into the sound of BOXERS DROPPING.

113.
ABBY (O.S)
There he is.
SCILS (O.S)
I’m a grower.
The sound of a CONDOM STRETCHING ensues quickly followed by
a FEW KISSING NOISES into a BODY PRESSING UP AGAINST THE
DOOR. We then hear the sound of PANTIES PULLED DOWN.
SCILS (O.S)
Touch your toes.
THREE RHYTHMIC SOUNDS of a BODY BANGING on a door follow.
INT. SIK - BASEMENT - NIGHT
Title:
EIGHT MONTHS LATER
Dell KNOCKS back on the basement door twice. One KNOCK from
outside the door follows. The basement door opens to reveal
a a high school prom decor--tables with flowers and fancy
table cloths, a booth for pictures, 5th year seniors and
their dates all dressed in formal attire as well as a big
sign that reads, "CONGRATULATIONS SUPER SENIORS".
DJ BOOTH
Scils sits in the booth while "One More Time" by Daft Punk
blares. Abby approaches him. Her hair is long with little
flowers on top. Her belly resembles a pregnancy in its last
stages. Scils puts his ear to Abby like a DJ taking a
request.
ABBY
Hey guy. Got any Papa Roach?
SCILS
Maybe. Come mere for a second.
Scils lightly upper cuts Abby’s stomach. She reaches up her
dress, pulls out a pillow and a bag of wine. On the pillow
case is an imprint of the cover of "Up All Fortnight."
ABBY
Happy graduation, Scils.
SCILS
I’ll be sleeping on this all night
long. Multo bene, grazi.

114.

ABBY
Prego.
Abby pulls up the bag of wine. Scils slaps the bag, takes a
pull, then passes the bag back to Abby who reciprocates.
Scils glances over at the entrance, looks at his phone.
SCILS
Ooooh yeah. That’s Daft Punk with a
very fitting jam for all you super
seniors in the house, "One More
Time". Or in some cases six.
Scils points at Dell.
SCILS
Oh yeeaaaah. Not even sunrise yet
so we’ve got plenty more frat
basement classics on the way but
now we’re gonna slow it down for a
minute.
Scils puts on a cliche "R & B" rift.
SCILS
So I need all the twenty two to
twenty eight olds in the house, to
grab yo sexy ass dates and please
know, that even though, we needed a
few more turns before we passed go,
the journey was worth more than
gold and alas we have come, to the
end of the road.
Music Queue: "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men.
TABLES
Veteran Gettysburgians rise and take their date’s hands.
DJ BOOTH
Scils looks toward the entrance as Abby pulls him out to the
DANCE FLOOR
Several couples are already dancing, many singing the
lyrics. Scils starts slow dancing with Abby in a middle
school "save room for the Holy Spirit" posture. She draws
him way closer.
PHOTO BOOTH

115.

A 23 year old woman and
photographed by O’Neil.
cheesy background, long
photographer. Abruptly,
look up in awe.

her young date are being
Standard school dance style set up,
camera lens, sharply dressed
the girl, then her date, then O’Neil

ENTRANCE
Maggie slowly strolls into the basement emanating a sublime
glow. A dragonfly enters behind her as the door shuts. She’s
regally dressed, done up, sporting a magnificent up doo and
a petite but healthy size. A camera flash goes off.
TABLES
Maggie continues to move in graceful slow motion before her
phone starts buzzing. She opens her pocketbook, grabs her
phone and appears angry to see "Daddy" is calling. She takes
a pregnant pause then confidently clicks to voicemail.
Instantly, she’s relieved.
Maggie then spots Abby trying to cop some feels from a
resistant, anxious Scils. Instinctively, she’s taken back.
Maggie chugs a glass of white wine off a table nearby, burps
and drops the glass back on the table along with her purse.
DANCE FLOOR
Abby goes in for a kiss as Scils turns away. He freezes and
flashes a look of complete awe and joy. Abby is also taken
back by Maggie’s breathtaking beauty and starts caressing
Scils’s chest. He gently moves her arm away. She whispers in
his ear.
ABBY
Let’s have a threesome.
MAGGIE
You guys talking about me?
SCILS
Yes. We were wondering how on Earth
you were able to book an up-doo
with God.
MAGGIE
Ha. I guess I have friends in very
Maggie gently caresses her up doo.

116.

MAGGIE
High places.
They all laugh out loud.
MAGGIE
Mind if I cut in for a few notes?
ABBY
(child-like, joking)
Sorry Maggie Cross, he’s spoken
for.
SCILS
It’s okay. She’s my
Scils stares straight into Maggie’s majestic eyes as he and
Abby release hands.
SCILS
Best friend.
Scils takes Maggie’s hand gently and begins slow dancing
with a friendly distance.
TABLES
Abby sees Dell sitting alone and summons him to the dance
floor. He quickly, enthusiastically obliges.
DANCE FLOOR
Maggie pulls Scils in close and puts her head on his
shoulder for a moment as the lyrics sink in. She peaks up.
MAGGIE
Is this, Boyz to Men?
SCILS
You know it. End of the Road.
MAGGIE
More like the new beginning.
Maggie stares straight into Scils’s enchanted eyes with
genuine affection.
SCILS
Uh-huh.
Maggie laughs aloud as they simultaneously move in for a
slow, wet kiss--a long overdue moment of word-transcendent
bliss.

117.

TITLE:
SICKNESS LEVEL 90 +

FADE TO WHITE.

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