Recipe: A Girl yield- 1 small, perfect girl (serves 2-3) Ingredients: 1 unripe avocado 1 belly laugh 1 shiny red balloon

, inflated by mouth and popped with a pin 2 legs 4 houses 6 muddy rivers 13 questions of modest size 56 old-fashioned razors, handles removed a pinch of nutmeg Place all ingredients in an aluminum mixing bowl, except the nutmeg. Stand on the edge of a very high cliff overlooking a cold and angry sea. Throw the bowl into the water. You may begin to hum or sing at this time if it makes you feel better. Wait for something good to finally happen to you and not someone else. Taste the nutmeg. Notice how dry, how sharp it is.

Go home. —Luke M. Rickford, 10/10/2006