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GAY SEX SURVEY 2011

 THE MOVIE EVENT OF 2011
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Published
since 1994 CONTENTS
#423 APRIL 27–MAY 10, 2011
PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Brandon Matheson
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER & EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
Matt Mills
ASSOCIATE EDITORS
Drew Rowsome & Matt Thomas
COPY EDITOR
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CONTRIBUTORS
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EDITORIAL INTERNS
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GAY SEX SURVEY

FABMAGAZINE.COM
The appearance of anyone in this magazine is no
guarantee that they are gay (just fab). Distributed free
in Toronto, Ottawa, Hamilton and London and sold for
$4.50 on selected newsstands across Canada. 2011 RESULTS
Submissions and letters to the editor are welcome, but we are
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receipt. We do not consider anonymous submissions. 6 LETTERS 26 GAY AGENDA
Printed and published in Canada. ©2011 Pink Triangle Press
fab is published every two weeks by Pink Triangle Press 7 EDITORIAL 29 fab CITY
ISSN:1704-3166
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8 FULL FRONTAL 30 BUSINESS
Directors: Jim Bartley, Gerald Hannon, Peter Kingstone, 20 DEEP DISH DIRECTORY
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without the written consent of the publisher. Models: Jamie Cole and Jeremy Feist (jeremyfeistxxx.com)

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LETTERS
@fabmagazine.com
Not bowled over
I read your story about gay Toronto sports
teams [“Playing for the Other Teams,” fab
#422, April 13] and noticed that our gay
bowling league was not covered.
The Toronto Historical Bowling Society
has been around for 28 years and is the
largest league in North America. We bowl
three days a week and have between 300
and 400 bowlers from all walks of life.
You might want to check out our web-
site: thbs.ca.
— Stephen Park, THBS president
Gutter opportunities
To add to your theme that “gay sports teams
want you” in “Playing for the Other Teams”
[fab #422, April 13], we would be grateful
if you could draw your readers’ attention
to the International Gay Bowling
Organization (IGBO) activities.
The Toronto Historical Bowling Society
(THBA) is in its 28th year, and Toronto was
one of the original six founding cities of
IGBO in 1980. From Wednesday, May 25
to Monday, May 30, Toronto will play host
Peek inside our
to pick up fab and Xtra
6 April 27, 2011 fab
#
422 FREE
April 13, 2011 — April 26, 2011
fabmagazine.com
to IGBO-2011. Approximately nights and many more, Out and
600 bowlers from around the Out has an option for everyone
world are expected to attend Playing for the at outandout.on.ca.
for competition and social other teams Another important resource
Gay sports teams want you!
activities. If you have an to discover Toronto’s LGBT
established bowling average, sports scene is OutSport
there is still time to register for IGBO-2011. Toronto at outsporttoronto.org.
Further information can be obtained from — DelightfulDavid
igbo2011.org. For year-round bowling
schedules: thbs.ca or igbo.org.
— Colin J Rainsbury, Come out
public relations for IGBO-2011 Re: “Palm Springs: The Gay Oasis” on
fabmagazine.com.
Wow. I can’t wait to get to California.
Come out — kurtpuzzle
Re: “Playing for the Other Teams” on
fabmagazine.com. Oops: In “Playing for the Other Teams” [fab
Out and Out is also a great option for #422, April 13] Downtown Soccer Toronto
those looking for a variety of activities (downtownsoccertoronto.org) was misidenti-
without making an ongoing commitment. fied. We hope this apology suffices and they
And it’s the oldest of Toronto’s LGBT sports won’t kick our balls.
and recreational groups. It’s surprising that
you missed it.
Many members join for the hikes or to
YOUR OPINIONS
partake in the big summer event, Jamboree.
MATTER TO US!
Send your raves, rants and comments
With activities including inline skating, hula-
to: letters@fabmagazine.com
hooping, hiking, ball hockey, board game
Pink Box
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EDITORIAL
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he response to fab’s anonymous 2011 Gay Sex Survey can chriskowal@rogers.com
only be described as epic. More than 2,500 guys took the URBAN REALTY
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time to fill out the survey online or via hard copies that
were sent to our office, some bravely including a name and return
address. A few even sent us pictures or suggested we add an
upload feature on our next survey for even more explicit details.
We more than doubled the numbers of US national gay magazine
OUT’s sex survey, and we clocked almost three times the responses
we’ve received in previous years. Clearly, gay guys want to talk
about sex — but I worry that our numbers would be smaller if A Summer that will last a Lifetime Alberta
respondents had to give their full names. July 28–31
Reading through the results elicits feelings of shock, titillation Join us this summer for fun, friendship, and amazing Saskatchewan
and the occasional “Oh my God — I did that too!” Every time we workshops at Camp fYrefly, Canada’s only national August 18-21
put out our inquiry, we’re impressed by people’s honest, raw leadership retreat for sexual minority and gender variant
responses. There’s something for everyone to identify with: from youth. Please visit our website to apply or to learn how to
the perfect penis to fucking in air balloons. But unfortunately, make a charitable donation to help send a kid to camp!
anonymous responses do not a two-way dialogue make.
www.fyrefly.ualberta.ca
Some gay men need to push their comfort levels when it comes
to talking openly (and in person) about their bedroom antics,
while others need to make that crucial first step. This year, for
the first time, we put a link to the survey on squirt.org; a surpris-
ing 45 percent of respondents identified as being closeted or
married to a woman. This survey allows those guys to share freely General and
Cosmetic Dentistry
about their sexuality and learn about gay sex in a safe forum that
we hope will break down a few closet doors. The rest of us must
lead by example: by communicating everything — and I mean
everything — out in the open we can help put to rest any linger-
ing connection of sex with shame.
People feel ashamed about discussing their sex lives for different
reasons. Some are afraid of being labelled slutty — but having lots
Dr.Martin Sterling
of safe, sane, consensual sex should be a badge of honour. Anyone Dr.Stephen Forgacs
who thinks otherwise is likely jealous. As long as you wrap your
cock there’s no reason why you can’t share it with whomever you
and Associates
choose. And the details make for stimulating conversation.
For those afraid that your sexual behaviours are atypical, take
solace: if you can think of a sexual act, sometime over the history
of human sexuality it’s already been done. While some friends
may balk at descriptions of hot fisting and piss-play sessions,
those who indulge in them certainly aren’t alone in their inclina-
tions — and our survey proves it.
You’ll never find sexual camaraderie or get any constructive
tips unless you open your lips about what happens at your hips.
You’d be surprised what people admit to when they feel safe,
and if you can’t feel safe with your friends, that really is a shame.
Let’s take this conversation off the page and into the street, boys Early Morning and Evening Appointments
— we’ve clearly got some hot stories we’re dying to tell.
2 Bloor Street West, Suite 1904 416.923.8042

Matt Thomas
editor@fabmagazine.com

fab April 27, 2011 7

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full frontal SUSHI

Follow the bouncing balls
“I fell off the big red balls into the water as little Orphan Annie and came out
as Daddy Warbucks,” laughs the unsinkable Miss Conception. With her segment
of Wipeout Canada (see fab #422) in the can and set to air on Sunday,
May 1, Miss C is out to extend her 15 minutes of fame. What could be better
than to organize a viewing party in front of hundreds of her nearest and
. dearest? And just to be sure that she doesn’t get sideswiped in the editing
e process, Miss C has made her own Wipeout video-clip collection that can be
quickly substituted if necessary. But Miss C’s heart is as big as her abundant
ego: “The party is about celebrating me on the show, but most of all it’s about
raising money for an amazing cause: the PWA Friends for Life Bike Rally.”
— Drew Rowsome “I wouldn’t have thought
anyone would have a problem.”
Pornstar Logan McCree is
Miss Conception’s Wipeout Canada Viewing Party is Sun, May 1 at 6pm
surprised that local councillor
at Woody’s, 465 Church St. woodystoronto.com
George Farlow thinks the tattooed
star’s plans to build a home in
Durness, Scotland, are “totally
Follow the brown inappropriate.”
“I like the idea of Glee, but why
bouncing balls is it that every time I watch an
episode I feel like I’ve stepped
“I thought it was a great idea because the play is about stripping down
into a puddle of HIV?”
stereotypes, about being naked,” says playwright Byron Abalos of a nude
A tweet by author Bret Easton
photo shoot he did in support of Brown Balls. Written over the course of
Ellis literally goes viral.
six years, the play focuses on three Asian men and addresses issues of
race, gender and sexuality head-on. Abalos says the character Charlie, a “I’d love to show her some
gay biracial man, underlines issues faced by gay Asians: “Within the gay moves. William would
community he’s on the fringe because he’s Asian, and in the Asian definitely have a cracking treat
community he’s on the fringe because he’s gay.” David Yee plays the part on his wedding night.”
of Charlie and says his own experience mirrors that of the character. Yee Pussycat Doll Kimberly Wyatt offers
says Charlie makes every attempt to challenge homophobia, with varying Kate Middleton pole-dancing
lessons.
degrees of success. “At every opportunity he’s getting a dig in or bringing
a question to light. No answers are provided, but by the end of the play Traditional multi-tiered fruit.
the question has been raised.” — Ryan English Kate Middleton’s choice of cake for
the royal wedding.
Brown Balls runs Tues, May 3 to Sun, May 15 at
“Who wants to stand in the
Factory Studio Theatre, 125 Bathurst St. fu-gen.org
cold weather eating healthy
food? This is street meat.”
Hot-dog vendor Mehran Agha
It takes balls Berman is skeptical of a city plan
that will allow street vendors to offer
Winning a Dora is fantastic, but for Agokwe creator and alternatives to the standard hot dog.
actor Waawaate Fobister the play’s effect on his peers
is even better. “I was so terrified,” says Fobister of a “I basically love anything that
comes in a hot-dog bun.
staged reading of Agokwe in his hometown of Kenora.
Except hot dogs.”
“It was my first time being in front of an all-native
Gwyneth Paltrow hypes her new
audience. It was my first time doing it in front of all high
cookbook, My Father’s Daughter.
school students.” A reasonable apprehension, when a
group of teenaged boys, the same kind who bullied him verbally and physically while he was growing up, sat at the front “It’s an old Broadway trick:
of the audience with their feet up on the stage. As the reading progressed, Fobister knew that he had their attention. “After two-thirds water and
the show those boys came up to me — ‘Fuck man! Fuckin’ good play!’ — shaking my hand.” Agokwe is an Anishinaabe one-third vodka, spray
term that means “two-spirited, a male and a female spirit entwined in one body,” which is how Fobister identifies. your armpits and you’ll
“A lot of people have never heard of it, or they may have heard of it but they’ve never really connected it with someone never smell again.”
real, a real story.” Fobister shares the story as a way for native youth to connect to their roots. Above all, he encourages Joan Rivers reveals a sanitary
them, saying, “Shoot for your dreams, because I did and I’m living my dreams.” — Michael Lyons secret at a Svedka vodka–
sponsored event.
Agokwe runs Thurs, May 5 to Sun, May 15 at Buddies, 12 Alexander St. buddiesinbadtimes.com

8 April 27, 2011 fab

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FAB’S 2011 GAY SEX SURVEY

dirty talk
AND Filthy
PHOTOS BY
daVid haWe
ILLUSTRATIONS

FiGures
BY Jordi
santo

fab’s 2011 Gay Sex Survey once again broke records:

we received 2,508 responses. Gay men wrote
candidly about their desires, fetishes, emo-
tions and needs. The overwhelming amount
of raw data and comments required an
entire team of fab writers to sort, sift and
select the most startling and titillating
material. Fortunately, John Crouch,
Ryan English, Michael Lyons, Drew
Rowsome, Eduardo Sabate, Matt
Thomas and Jonathan Valelly were
up, no pun intended, for the
daunting task.

hiGh-ranGe
FreQuencies
31% of respondents have sex weekly,
followed by biweekly at 25%. A lucky
12% get it daily and only 7% say they’re
not getting any. Most who commented
wanted more, and a few did brag.
When he brings home his paycheque.
• never with my partner — maybe once
a month with someone else. • try to have sex
every day, and i do have days with sex twice a day.
• Annually. • twice a night on the nights we are
together. • sex about twice a week and jerking
off every day. • looking to hand in virgin card.
is it hot in here?
More than half — 52% — believe that
sexual heat is the most important part of a
relationship. 34% prefer companionship
and 14% believe in romance. Many had
other suggestions.
respect. • cock and ass; nothing else
matters. • romance and sexual heat are
fine, but you do have to be able to stand to be
around each other. • companionship sustains me,
but i always need to relieve the pressure in my balls.
• companionship with my partner, but outside of my
relationship it would be sexual heat. • if love comes
along, the heat can be turned down a little. • if this
weren’t a sex survey, i would rate companionship
highest. • it’s cool when you can have a
conversation and not only like them physically
but be turned on by their mind, too. • the more
of a slut i feel like, the better. • love the raw,
dirty, animalistic feelings of hot sex.
not-so-bindinG
attachMents
Almost half of respondents are single, and
those who are attached have varied defini-
tions of what a relationship entails. Many
of the attached respondents claim to be
monogamous but admit they play on the
side — this is particularly true of
the surprisingly large
number of married-to-
women men. Wearing
white and skipping
down the aisle does not
guarantee fidelity.
it’s monogamous,
with the
understanding that if
something happens with
someone else, it happens: as
long as it’s just sex. • single,
searching and kind of slutty.
• Monogamous, but we also
screw around together with other
guys at the bathhouse. • We call it
monogamy with a little leeway.
• Married in a relationship she thinks is
monogamous. • single and looking for a
connection. • i’m tired of kissing frogs and toads.
• i’m trying hard to be monogamous.
toys
For boys
The Fleshlight is the most
desired sex toy purchase,
according to 24%
% of respondents.
The dildo dominated as the toy respon-
dents most used, coming in at 39%. %.
Sounding rods were the least desired sex
toy — 20% of respondents said
they’d never use one.
i’m on my third colt
Waterproof silver rod
vibrator (available at Priape).
i wore the first one out then
dropped the second one and
it broke. • i don’t own any of
those because i live with my
family and it’s not easy to
hide them. • seriously, is
“would you never use?” a
necessary option? i think every gay
man encounters these at least
once in his lifetime, even those
prissy twinks who don’t know any
better. • toys are for those with
little imagination or drive.

10 April 27, 2011 fab

Weird, whacky
and wanton
Many respondents said that being asked
to incorporate bodily functions normally
associated with the bathroom into sex play
was the weirdest request they’d fielded.
Other frequent proposals include atypical
sex toys, unique role-playing, family affairs
and more than just fetch with man’s best
friend.
Cum on my boyfriend’s sushi rolls.
• To have someone make and eat a salad,
complete with vinaigrette, off my chest.
• Describing anything sexual as “weird” is
ignorant to me, so the answer is nothing.
• Assist someone in getting fucked by a doorknob.
• What is weird, anyway? One man’s weird is
another man’s wonderful. • Pretend that I was
dead so they could have their way with my limp
corpse. • Stick a chopstick down the penis hole.
• A nerdy middle-aged man asked me to make
barnyard animal noises while he fucked me.
• A straight 6’6” volleyball player asked me to treat
him like a baby with diapers, bottle, feeding, bib,
baby powder, Vaseline and a soother. He actually
had a giant change table in his bedroom. We did
this baby scene and then he wet his diaper and
ejaculated in it. • Have sex with a boy and his
mother. • Was asked to take two brothers and their
father at the same time. • To worship someone’s
car before getting to suck them off. • Once a guy
I knew got me to spend the whole day walking
round on all fours pretending to be his pet cat. I did
enjoy being his little pussy. • Once I was asked to
use popcorn butter topping as a lube because he
liked the way it tasted. • Put peanut butter and
marshmallow on my cock. • Let someone smell
my ass through a peephole at Home Depot. I was
16 and got scared and ran. • Get married and be
monogamous. • Talk about my feelings. • Dress in
school uniform and say, ‘Daddy no, Daddy stop’
and cry while he fucked me. • Sandpaper a guy’s
cock. • Slide a custard pie inside a guy’s ass.
• Shove a rubber ducky up my arse then shit it out.
• To get dressed up like a clown and fuck some
dude’s boyfriend.
Ass around the world
Respondents were split when it came to ethnic preference or lack thereof (51% said
yes to a preference, 49% said no). All ethnicities have a healthy percentage of men
who are particularly horny for them.
Respondents have a 59%
particular taste for...
52%
45% 46%
41%
33%
31% 31%
15% 16%
Middle Eastern
First Nation
East Indian
Nordic
Italian
Slavic
Black
Greek
Asian
Latin
All are horny. • Hispanic, Arabic or African American: they all seem to know that an ass is for
fucking. • If I wasn’t taken, I’d like to try them all! • Ethnicity is so far down on the list, by the
time it gets to this point, someone is already in or out. • Is an Aussie considered ethnic?
• He wanted me to spank him with his skateboard. Get rimmed by a dog when I was a
Hard. I obliged. • Perform oral sex on my teenager, and fuck yes, I liked it. • Put a
partner while he was playing Bach on the bicycle-pump hose in a guy’s ass and pumped it.
piano. • Put a cellphone in my ass on vibrate. Did I enjoy it? He liked it, but it was difficult for me,
• Fuck my ass while yelling my mother’s name. keeping up the “This is hot” act. I kept wanting to
• Take a hamster anally. • My friend asked me laugh. • Fuck a guy’s brother while he watched.
to suck and fuck his dog. I did not, and needless Nope. • Stuck a hairbrush up my arse: fabulous!
to say he is no longer my friend. • Weirdest thing I’ve done was stroke and suck
on a horse cock. I saw it out in the field and OMG
When it comes to weird requests becoming it was incredible — I had to have it.
actions, many of the same scatological,
incestuous and barnyard themes are appar-
ent — with varying degrees of enjoyment.
Where the
boys are
Most respondents preferred picking up at
bars or nightclubs, at a bathhouse or from
an internet sex site. The top three bars for
successful pick-ups were Woody’s,
The Barn and the Black Eagle. Steamworks
was by far the most popular bathhouse
destination, while squirt.org received more
than half the votes for the online sex
website of choice. To the one respondent
who got laid using Twitter, we say, “Way
to be resourceful” and #gaysexwinning.
fab April 27, 2011 11
 cock 39%
chest 25%
ass 14%
face 7%
legs 4%
arms 3%
smile 3%
eyes 2%
balls 2%
nipples 1%
feet 1%

FaVourite
Parts
39% of respondents think cocks are the
most attractive thing about naked men,
followed by chests at 25% and asses at
14%. Many respondents had more specific
examples: abs, back and areas with body
hair, such as armpits and treasure trails.

neck to knees. • it’s the whole

Penis PerFection intense
Appealing penises come in many forms, situations
with lots of preferences for both cut and
uncut. Many respondents appear to be
size queens, while others note the appeal
of veins.
two uncut coke cans stacked, oozing
precum. • like a slab of roseate marble,
10 inches long, with a head that just peeks out of
his foreskin when hard. • Glistening in the
sunshine, with a slight wet sheen, semi-hard,
about seven inches, uncut with just a little
amount of head peeking through, hairy (but
trimmed) bush and a mouthful of relaxed hanging
balls. • oh God, just one? You expect me to describe
just one? Which one? there have been so bloody
many nice ones, it is simply cruel to make me
describe only one.
package, but i always end up sucking
the cock. • Balls are beautiful if they are
shaved and bulging or protruding from under
a nice cock. • All naked men have a way of
making me swoon, anyway. this is an
unfair question for me.
The combination of poppers and huge
cocks, dildos or fists was powerful for many,
registering as their most intense experience.
Many voted for unique sex locations while
others chose fucking their first boyfriends
or people they were in love with.
Had sex on a coral reef in the caribbean
with sharks swimming only metres away.
• i was fucked in the storeroom of a toys “r” Us
store. • i’m a climber, and having sex suspended
on the side of a cliff has got to be up there. • Had
my balls sizzled by having electric current put
through them until the flesh started cooking. • Had
sex on the ttc with two other guys watching us
late at night.
hair-raisinG
42% of respondents prefer brunettes, while
30% prefer blonds; 18% like a shaved head
and 10% like redheads. Many respondents
— presumably Anderson Cooper fans —
wrote in lamenting that we’d neglected to
provide silver, white or salt-and-pepper
hair as an option.
Blonds are for fun; brunettes are for
commitment. • the last thing i am
looking at is his hair.
35% of respondents like their men to have
some body hair, while 27% prefer them to
be meticulously manscaped. 25% like
smooth as a baby’s bottom, but only 6% like
a complete shave, which is slightly less than
the 7% who prefer a gorilla-like pelt.
come as you are; no preference if
the dude’s cool. • Whatever makes him
comfortable with himself. • i’m open-minded and
certainly not offended by a hairy man, but i’m very
thrilled about someone who’s manscaped. it’s all
about attitude and how you wear your hair. • tufts
of hair, not a chewbacca. • it doesn’t matter as
long as he has a hard, juicy cock between his legs.

12 April 27, 2011 fab

MeasurinG uP

What is the size of...

the perfect cock 7" 20%
7.5" 16%
8" 25%
the average cock 5.5" 16%
6" 49%
6.5" 16%
your cock 6" 20%
6.5" 20% Most respondents have a healthy attitude
7" 20% about the size of their own cocks. Very few
were self-loathing, but many would like to
have a little extra, particularly girth.
depends who’s attached to it. • People
who say they aren’t size queens are i think all guys feel pressure about this.
lying. • Anything bigger than 6.5 inches looks i am fine with the size of my cock, and
really good but is too difficult to fit anywhere i always figure if people want to have sex with you
interesting. • i find guys with small cocks an more than once you are doing all right. And i’m
even bigger turn-on than guys with big ones. doing all right. • Fine with it. When you are as
• i really care not about penis size; i am there kinky as me, size rarely matters for great sex.
for the warm sweet semen and lots and lots of • Average length; slimmer than usual. i’ve been
kisses. • i’m assuming we’re speaking in real rejected by a couple of size queens, but it seems
inches and not exaggerated internet inches. like every novice bottom wants a ride.

Most disGustinG hottest thinG Most hilarious

thinG said
aFter seX
“i gotta call my mom.”
• “Your ass is soupy.” • “Your
cum tastes like pizza.” • “You should lose
weight.” • “that was better than a pussy.”
Most disGustinG
thinG said
durinG seX
“You must have slept with a lot of guys to
learn all that.” • “look at me, man, don’t
you think i should be worshipped?” • “i don’t
kiss!” • “Yeah, why don’t you teach my sloppy
pussy a lesson?” • “i wish my brother could see
this.” • “i’m going to puke,” and he did. • “i’m
gonna cum so much i think i’m gonna shit
myself.” • “can i pretend you’re 14?” • “stop
laying there and move your bitch ass; it’s like i
am fucking a pillow.” • “i’d like to fuck your ear.”
• “let me rape your chocolate tunnel.” • “can we
get this over with? i have to get to sleep.”
said aFter
seX
“i want to help you teach
a seminar on how to
fuck guys properly.” • “You’re
totally one of my top five.” • “i’m
not going to pull out of you. i’m
going to stay inside until i get hard
again and fuck you all night.” • “i wanna
gangbang you with my mates.”
hottest thinG
said durinG seX
“shhh, my wife and family are asleep
upstairs.” • “Mmfh, achhhh, eurgge,” while
he was eating my ass. • “i want you to get me
pregnant, dad!” • “let’s move this to the window so
everyone can see.” • “i called some friends over to
watch and have you when i’m done.”
thinG said
aFter seX
“no way will i be able to hide just how
freshly fucked i am.” • “to properly
dominate a person, one must find their secret spot
and then use it to control their lives.” • “Fuck the
dentist; i made your teeth whiter than ever.”
• “that’s the best fuck i’ve had since the reagan
administration.” • “Unchain me, and i won’t run off,
honest.” • “can i tongue-punch your fart box?”
• “oh God, the poor dog. it saw everything.”
Most hilarious
thinG said
durinG seX
“this could only be better if i was having ice
cream at the same time.” • “that tickles,”
said with my cock in his ass. • He started singing
while he was blowing me. • “oh fuck, you are so big
you are piercing my lungs.” • “i still think you look like
Weird Al Yankovic.” • “Hurry up and cum; Two and a
Half Men is coming on.” • “don’t text when you are
fucking me!”

fab April 27, 2011 13

hey sailor
Respondents generously revealed their best
pick-up techniques and lines. Most sug-
gested being friendly, complimentary and
smiling, while many found the direct
approach (“Let’s fuck” or “Want a blow-
job?”) most effective. Some are even more
direct: they pull out their dicks or grab the
basket or nipples of the desired person.
Alcohol is the preferred pick-up aid — no
doubt all the techniques and lines benefit
from being slurred.
“Wanna see the eighth wonder of the
world? come to the bathroom with me
and you will.” • smash ice on the bar and say,
“now that i’ve broken the ice will you sleep with
me?” • “You have 365 bones in your body; want
another?” • “i have snacks.” • Buying a guy a
shot and telling him it’s to take the sting off how
his ass is gonna feel in a few hours. • “My bed or
yours?” • “i swallow.” • “You really don’t deserve
me, but i am feeling charitable.” • “didn’t i see
you in ________ movie? i swear you look just
like ________!” • Excuse me, sir, you dropped
something. oh — it’s my number.” • “nice bulge.
it would look better with my face on it.” • “Your
dad must be a robber, because he stole the
stars from the sky and put them in your
eyes.” • “Hi. i’ve lost my number. can i
have yours?” • nod. Adjust
basket. • Grab my crutch. •
show them pics of my
foreskin. • “Your eyes are as
blue as my toilet water.” •
Acting dumb. • Grabbing
their dick and saying, “this goes in
my ass tonight.” • “is that a banana
in your pocket?” • “You can have a cigarette,
but only if you smoke it in my bedroom.”
• kneeling in front of a glory hole with my mouth
wide open. • “can i borrow your phone?
My ex said to let him know when i find something
better.” • “My cock is like a metal detector: it
finds the hottest ass in the room — and it’s
yours.” • “do you own a chicken farm? cause you
sure know how to raise a cock.”
Respondents have less fond memories of
pick-up techniques and lines that didn’t
work on them.
“Wanna see the eighth wonder of the
world? come to the bathroom with me
and you will.” • He smashed ice on the bar and
said, “now that i’ve broken the ice will you sleep
with me?” • “Hey, did you know your body has
233 bones in it? Would you like one more?”
• “i want to take you to steamworks and put you
in a sling.” • it was something about elves and
his north Pole. it was the holidays. • “i love
chinese eyes.” i am not chinese. • “Want some
dark meat?” • “You look like the type of guy that
14 April 27, 2011 fab
does it in an alleyway.” • “did you wash
your clothes in Windex?” • “i’m gonna drill
• “You’re cute. Wanna dance?” works perfectly
fine. • name, number and dick size. • “i own
you like an oil rig.” • “i don’t charge much.” you, you filthy little slut.” • “i’ve got a big cock.
• someone tried to buy me a drink, which i Wanna see?” • “Wanna grab a beer before we
refused. then they offered me their gold card. get to each other?” • no lines: just a kiss and eye
As if they could just swipe it through my contact. i am like butter after that. i spread in any
asscrack. • “stop hurting me with your smile.” direction very easily. • none — just stick your
• “What’s your sign?” • “For $100 you can come cock in me. • A stiff cock “accidentally” pushed
home and give me a blowjob.” • “i know the up against me. • Just that gaydar look, looking
owner; i can get you a drink.” • “Get your coat, back to see if you are looking back to see — very
you’ve pulled.” • “i wish you were a door so exciting. • “i’m rich and love getting my dick
i could slam you all day long.” • “Are you from sucked.” • Anything said with a British accent.
tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 i see.” • i engage with anyone who is good-looking and
• “Well, that guy wasn’t interested. You wanna obviously sane. • i like cheesy. the cheesier and
get out of here now?” • i’ve never turned down funnier a pick-up line is, the more likely i am to
sex. • “Were you fat as a child?” • Flopping out continue talking to him.
a warted dick. • “if i told you you had a great
body, would you hold it against me?” • “i have a
chubby fetish. Wanna fuck?” • i met a guy who
played simba in The Lion King. He sang, “can you
star Fuckers
feel the love tonight?” in my ear. • “i’ve just got (or not)
The celebrities respondents most wanted
out of a relationship; you wanna be my
to fuck were Jake Gyllenhaal (18%), Ryan
boyfriend?” • “do you like really hairy guys?”
Reynolds (16%), Justin Bieber (11%) and,
• “i’m actually a spy.” • “can i suck your feet?”
surprisingly, Lady Gaga (11%). Celebrities
• “You look like a whore. How much?” • “Put this
respondents would like to have seen on
up your bum and poo on the floor.” • “is that a
our list were George Clooney, Bradley
mirror in your pocket? Because i can see myself
Cooper, Ben Affleck, Taylor Lautner and
in your pants.” • “i have a wife, but we don’t have
Justin Timberlake.
sex anymore because i’m a gay, too.” • “if i
As for the celebrities respondents least
rape you, would you turn me in?” • “Are you
wanted to have sex with, there were some
a nazi? Because you’re setting this Jew on
disturbing crossovers. Respondents would
fire.” • “Want to rumble in my jungle?” • “i’m
rather fuck Rob Ford (8%) than Justin
really discreet.” • “Are you from ireland?
Bieber (31%), Lady Gaga (20%) or Charlie
cause my penis is dublin.” • “Well,
there’s no one else left here. You wanna Sheen (14%). Imma let Rob Ford finish,
but Kanye West (8%) and Prince William
go for it?” • “i think you’ve fucked half
(7%) were somehow considered to be on
of my friends, so why don’t we go for it, too?”
the same playing field as our mayor.
• “Want to meet me at the Walmart parking
lot?” • “You look intelligent, so i will be
cannot choose; i want all. • it wouldn’t
upfront: i want you to fuck me.”
matter as long as he was willing to face
Genuine compliments or a straightforward fuck me while i was in a full silk or satin dress.
“You’re hot” works best for most. But so • Justin Bieber is a choice? that can’t be legal,
does the direct approach of “Let’s fuck.” and sorry lady Gaga: love your music, but unless
you’re sprouting a penis, it ain’t ever going to
they all work on me. • compliment first. happen. • How come Prince William is on the list
Ask for my number to set up coffee and not Prince Harry?
or drinks. then get me drunk and
be a great kisser. • Any sign of
legitimate interest. • “Wow, you
have a sexy smile!” always makes
me melt. • Walk up to me and
push me to my knees and grab my
head and pull it into your smelly
crotch. • “oi you. i wanna shag you
fucking silly.” • “can i have
your spunk?” • “i live
round the corner.”
• talk nerdy to me.
• “i wanna fuck
that ass until
you scream.”

satisFaction
What is the most important components of satisfying sex?
intimacy
kinkiness
a sense of humour
a tight ass
an adventurous attitude
a big cock
18%
a hot body
Many respondents said
“chemistry”; several made
their choices but added that
a big cock never hurts.
Where is passion on this list?
• change positions. stop the
monotony. • intimacy implies being adventurous
and every kink you can agree on. • Having a guy that
can handle my cock. • depends — sometimes hot, quick, anonymous sex is good, and other times
slow sex is good. • A great money shot.
actiVe
enJoyMent
Oral sex (giving, receiving and mutual) is
the most frequently enjoyed sexual activity
for more than 90% of all respondents, fol-
lowed by handjobs (giving and receiving)
at almost 89%. Being rimmed comes in at
78% and cuddling sits at 77%. Anal sex
(bottom) ranks next at 70%, with 68% eager
to on top (there is a similar split in gang-
banging, with 42% enjoying being banged
and only 39% being bangers — the opposite
of the numbers required for this event).
Only 4% of respondents enjoy scat play,
and it ranked the highest in the “don’t
enjoy” category. Respondents would rather
be fisted, flogged, sounded, spanked or
receive cock and ball torture than perform
any of these activities on another.
Bondage and gangbangs arouse the most
curiosity in respondents followed by
electro-stim, sounding, watersports, splosh-
ing and bondage. Respondents asked for a
“not interested” option and for clarification
on some terms, while also suggesting a few
that could be added.
Where’s regular d/s? • love manstink.
sweaty, musky pits, feet and crotch.
i especially love sniffing and eating smegma.
• i think you need another category in here
between “enjoy” and “don’t enjoy.” i don’t really
11%
29%
11%
24% 3%
3%
like being rimmed, but if my partner gets off
doing it, i’ll do it. • What about consenting
physical actions like punching, slapping, spitting,
etc? • love naked wrestling, with lube or oil, on
Pvc bed sheets. • cFnM • Whatever happened to
plain old regular vanilla sex? • Face fucking. lots
of guys like oral sex but don’t much care for a
man to grab them by the ears and fuck them
orally. not sure why they don’t like it, but hey —
to each his own. • Just treat me like a whore so
i can empty my balls. • love to be degraded and
humiliated in private or public.
Fantasy
Vs reality
Many respondents said their sexual fanta-
sies revolved around group sex, celebrities,
sports and rough sex play, including rape.
Most respondents noted, however, that they
had not yet made their fantasies a reality.
Having sex with my hunky straight family
doctor. never did it, just got little details
about the kind of underwear he prefers to wear
and the kind of manscaping he does. • i want to
move into charlie sheen’s mansion and have
orgies. it has not happened. • raping a burglar,
and no, i missed the chance. • i like to have my
face slapped but would like to have someone hit
me closed-fisted and give me a black eye. i
haven’t done it yet. • Have sex with all seven of
my brothers at the same time. • setting up an
island sex resort, but that probably won’t happen
since i have no money.
Get to knoW
your Fantasy
FiGures
72% of respondents have had sex with a man
who identified as straight, 35% with a teacher,
19% with a relative, 27% with a delivery boy
— and 25% got more than an exam from their
doctor. 21% have had a firefighter and 26%
have worked out and then worked it with
personal trainers. Pornstars are the most
coveted and 22% have managed to turn that
fantasy into reality.
i love the fab writer selection best.
• Just about my whole high school
(oral only), so about 450 guys over a three-year
period, some more than once. • is there a fab
writer available for sex? i’m hot just thinking
about it. • checking a guy’s cv takes away too
much precious play time, skip. • A younger ted
kennedy. • Barack obama, for sure!
star
attractions
The pornstars respondents most
wanted to have sex with were
the Peter Twins (20%) and Brent
Corrigan (20%), followed by
Girth Brooks (7%) and Diesel
Washington (7%). Our apol-
ogies for not including Brent
Everett, the most popular
write-in candidate.
Brent Everett (right)
would be my choice. Brent
corrigan — that sap has blood on
his hands. • Been there, done
that. Just because they have
a title doesn’t make them
masters at the job. • i don’t
know any pornstars. Porn is
boring; i prefer a real cock.
fab April 27, 2011 15
Vanilla is
not the only
FlaVour
Half of respondents said the more the mer-
rier, whether it was how many people they
would like to have watch them have sex, to
watch have sex or to have sex with. 27%
preferred to keep things private and one-on-
one, which works since only 12% were
interested in watching one-on-one activity.

saline injections into ball sack! • i’m a

“
pleaser, so i will try anything once. i don’t
mind testing my limits. • kink isn’t essential to
my sex life. that is not to say it’s a negative thing,
either in my sex life of the lives of others. it just
doesn’t always do it for me and can easily feel
WHEN
forced. • When there’s good chemistry, the only THERE’S
limit is imagination.
Good
soMe enchanted
cheMistry,
eVeninG, THE ONLY
you Will Meet LIMIT IS
a stranGer iMaGination
When perusing online profiles, a full-body
shot is considered the best lure by 31% of
respondents. Less than 1% were charmed
by romantic text. A spread-ass shot was
considered a turnoff by 49%. 62% have
agreed to meet a potential sex partner
without seeing a photo first. Close to half
of those had positive experiences; the other
half were not as lucky.

He was fugly. • Armageddon! • He was
20 years older than his profile said.
• Horrible. He was ugly white trash. • Alfred
Hitchcock is alive and well and living in toronto.
• i actually don’t know. i am about to find out for
the first time this weekend. Yay me! i hope he
isn’t Quasimodo. • He wasn’t too bad. We went
out for four years. • i needed a place to crash for
the night and was desperate. it was okay in the
end. • one out of six was a keeper. • i had no
expectations, so i wasn’t disappointed. • You win
some, lose most. As a joke, i was sent to the hotel
room of a straight man. not funny. • Hot most of
the time; rarely a bad egg. • Most were good but
a few awkward ones. the best people don’t put
face pics up.
look at hiM,
look at Me
A majority of respondents said they notice
a man’s build first when cruising him in
the street. Others wished we’d included
the option of someone’s face, in general.
i think it’s the entire package. if i see
something interesting, doesn’t matter
what, then i’ll do an up and down of the entire
package. • First: nice face. second: nice body.
third: nice ass. Fourth: not too camp. • lunch
box. • teeth and feet to see if he’s wearing
sandals. • sophistication.
When it comes to what respondents think
other men notice about them, build was first,
followed closely by eyes, smile and a shapely
ass. Many respondents had no idea what it
is about them that other guys check out.
confident demeanour. • if i’m naked,
my schlong. • confidence and my
cock, as i normally whip it out straight away.
• My long tongue.
best ass
Many respondents mentioned a variation on
the “bubble butt” and then garnished it with
varying degrees of hair coverage. For a major-
ity of respondents, the best ass is firm but
with some meat on it. Many compared asses
to fruits, especially apples and peaches.
tight, small, attentive and ready for
punishment. • toned and dusted with a lot
of strawberry-blond hair, the kind that is invisible
sometimes and other times catches the afternoon
light streaming through a window and glints and
glows. • this is where you should have an upload
photo feature so i could show you. it is luscious,
plump but shapely, smooth but with some lovely
light hair, receptive and lovely all round. • Who
cares? do tops even have asses?
rackinG uP the
belt notches
14% of respondents have had sex with
between 20 and 30 men in their life, and
11% sleep with one man in an average year.
Only .4% manage to sleep with 365-plus
men per year — they’ll eventually catch
up with the 1% who have had sex with
more than 5,000 men so far.

16 April 27, 2011 fab

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fab April 27, 2011 17
bareback stats
20% of respondents have never had bare-
back sex, but 35% have gone without
protection a few times. Almost as many,
30%, have barebacked many times and 6%
do it always. However, the comments were
almost all from respondents who were
concerned about the danger and felt con-
flicted about their actions.
With a long term BF; still bad, i know,
but we were monogamous and tested.
• i say “never” only because i’ve never had what
i call full sex (start to finish) without a condom.
A few guys have maybe minimally poked around
back there before suiting up, which, i’m aware, is
enough to transmit anything, but i haven’t ever
had full-out, consensual, unprotected sex before.
• i know it’s risky but have done it with guys i’ve
trusted, although this shouldn’t be relied on.
• once i was made aware of the risk for sexually
transmitted diseases and Aids, i was all, “You
can’t rock this boat without a raincoat” and “no
glove, no love.”
37% of respondents will have bareback sex
when in a committed relationship — but
considering respondents’ disinclination
for monogamy, perhaps this should be
rethought. 12% will never have bareback
sex, but 11% will in any situation.
Every single encounter is dealt with at
the time. My assumption is that every
person i play with can transmit a communicable
disease to me through activities. • i am not proud
of my bareback experiences; they were all in
moments of weakness. • Until i am in a
committed relationship and my partner and i both
know that we are not positive. And with frequent
— and i mean frequent — testing. Wandering
eyes don’t just take place in a public restroom or
in a locker room, honey. • Forget it, look what
happened.
29% of respondents have had an STD. 53%
of respondents who have had an STD or an
STD scare have altered their sexual behav-
iour because of it.
i became aware that just because
someone is younger or clean-cut does
not mean they don’t have scaries lurking in their
trousers. • Until Aids, nothing changed my
behaviour. • Made me paranoid for life; 20 years
later i still go to the doctor for every pimple, bump
or freckle, even if i’ve been celibate. • i’m an
Hiv-neg guy, and once i had to take post-
exposure prophylaxis, which sucked. i still love
bareback sex with my committed partner and
totally fantasize about it with other dudes i sleep
with (even verbally), but i’m committed to using
condoms now. • My dad told me my uncle, who
18 April 27, 2011 fab
toP to bottoM
Only 26% of respondents identify as tops or versatile tops, leaving them way out-
numbered by bottoms — and giving the versatile majority (64%) lots of choice when
they’re in top mode.
a versatile bottom
a versatile top
23.4% a bottom
26.7%
a top
versatile
not all of us have anal
sex and we still have hot
11.1% sex lives. • it would be nice to
experience the “other side” as a
15.2% top every once in a while. • i would
rather not top. it’s too much work.
• i fantasize about being a bottom, but
23.5% i’m still learning to take it. • i’m sick of
being categorized based on one aspect of
my sexual identity.
was gay, died of Aids because of unprotected
sex, and my dad didn’t want me to die before
him. And then he said, “no dad should ever bury
his own son.”
creatiVe
Places For seX
Pitcher’s mound at riverdale Park at
3pm on a weekday. i was pitching, for
the record. • A kid’s plastic playhouse. • in a
casket at a funeral parlour. • in a Buddhist
temple. • in a nuclear bunker. • on the ferry to
toronto island. • in the same room as my parents
while they were sleeping. • Beside the temple of
the olympian Zeus in Athens. • Halfway up a cliff
while rock climbing. definitely one of the most
exciting times, as well. • st Peter and Paul
cathedral. • dumpster. • in the bed of a pickup
truck while someone was driving down the
freeway. • on a guy’s boyfriend’s grave in a
cemetery. • Mcdonald’s play place. • the irish
Parliament, with a security guard. • if i’m having
sex some place, it’s anything but strange. • on a
safari trip in Africa, in a Jeep at 2am, fucking my
guide in the middle of nowhere. i’m sure there
were some elephants and lions watching. • in a
hot air balloon with a fuckbuddy. We were the last
two to go up, and as soon as it started climbing
we stripped our shoes, jeans and undies off and
sucked and fucked. When we were at the highest
point we pissed all over each other.
Matters
Well in hand
82% of respondents masturbate because it
feels good; only 30% feel it is a habit. 38%
use jerking off to stave off boredom, and
28% find it good stress relief. Five jerk-off
sessions in a day was the personal best for
19% of respondents, but 2% claim to have
made themselves cum more than 21 times
in a single 24-hour cycle. Commentators
said pulling one off helped them sleep, and
a few had other reasons.
it’s better than a sleeping pill. • it’s
why God made your arms just long
enough to reach your cock. • Procrastination.
• convenience. • regular sexual release helps
keep the equipment healthy. • not many people
have as high a sex drive as me, so i need to wank
to keep on top of the lust. • sometimes it’s easier
than involving someone else.
Porn, hot men, memories of past encoun-
ters or fantasies of future encounters are
the most frequent inspirations to pull it
out and start pulling. This survey was cited
often as an arousing inspiration — and
we’re happy to have helped spill some
seed! Some had other inspirations:
not getting blue balls, which seems to
happen if i don’t cum for a day or two.
• Father-son sex and naked asses at the gym.
• My mailman. He’s fricking hot. • dirty texts.
• Physical activity such as working out or sports
makes me horny. • Muscles and nipple rings.
• Feet. Punk rockers. serious sideburns.
throat-fucking porn. • Porn or cuddling.
• the smell of sweat. • thinking of my boyfriend
getting sucked off by someone else. • Built guys in
revealing situations, dares or alcohol. • Bondage.
• My roommate, his body and his dick. Wait —
i forgot to tell you that my roommate totally fucked
the hell out of me. • the one that got away.
• Pre-condom gay porn. • James Franco.
• Guys who don’t wear undies under track shorts.
• tit play. • sneakers. • A big burly bloke. • spying
on other men having a shit in some public bogs.
• thrill of getting caught. • Well-written erotica
without spelling errors. • Morning wood. • i love
watching other cocks squirt their load. Big cocks,
small cocks, big gushers or thick dribblers.
Especially big long streams of cum. • squirt.org
in the cam chat rooms.
“Atypical” masturbatory inspirations
included several instances of straight
porn, lesbian porn and, inexplicably,
Stephen Harper.
seeing the imprint of a friend’s foot in
his old sandals. • dogs having sex.
• someone eating their own feces. • looking in
the mirror at a poster of a guy in a baseball
uniform, with my cock stuck through the crotch in
the picture. • lesbian porn. it was only that one
time. A strap-on was involved. • lady Gaga.
• Wolverine from the X-Men cartoons. • tony
danza. • the vibrations in the back of the school
bus. • learning a language. • seeing President
obama in swim trunks. • Watching Family Guy.
• Grandpa porn. • daydreams about work
colleagues. • the incredible Hulk ripping out
of his clothes. • My ex bitching at me. • An
electrical storm just makes me horny. • looking
for a car on eBay. • i had a really hot doctor
perform a physical exam on my testicles. He
prescribed some cream, and every time i applied
it i’d think of his hands on my cock and
balls and would have to masturbate.
• Making flight bookings.
• dH lawrence’s book The
Rainbow.. • repairman fixing the
roof. • Furry porn. • First-aid
training — i left the class and
jerked it in the bathroom.
• sears catalogue models.
• Watching a mate fuck a
watermelon. • Paralympic
racing. the lads were so
determined and i found them
so sexy. • disney World dads.
• The Simpsons. • Preparing for surgery —
having to put the gown on. • david Archuleta.
i don’t even like him. • Mario lopez on tv.
• the sims. • Bumpy ride on the ttc. • statues
of Greek gods. • A really hot boyish-looking girl.
• spongebob squarepants.
While 49% of respondents indicated that
they most preferred to jerk off in bed, a
large number pointed out that we left out
their favourite location: in front of the
computer, watching porn. There are lots
of other places that loads have been popped:
buses, airplanes, outdoors, churches, gyms,
public washrooms and…
dentist’s office. • on an ambulance
parked in front of a hospital — i really
needed to get off. • in a cold-storage locker in a
restaurant. • Playground equipment. i was seven
years old. • in a bed beside my best friend.
• Riverdance. it was awful. • inside a coconut.
• in a sleeping bag at a science centre sleepover
in Grade 7. • during a geography lesson at school.
The fab gay sex survey 2011 was so full of exciting information that it couldn’t possibly
be contained in one issue of fab. There is much, much more at fabmagazine.com. Find
out how gay men feel about paying for sex and how much they have been paid (or have
paid); how it felt the first and the most recent time they ejaculated; what advice they
have for other gay men; what advice they have for the next survey; and how they feel
about being filmed and being watched on film...
The fab sex survey results team learned a lot and are now in need of cold showers.
the teacher almost stepped in my cum, which had
sprayed everywhere. i thought someone would
have heard, seen or smelt me, but all good. i was
just so horny that i took my cock out of my pants
and started stroking it gently. the next thing it was
blowing everywhere. • Bathroom at my brother’s
wedding. • When i was in the army, i went on a
field exercise with my unit to White sands Missile
range in new Mexico. After a week in the field,
i couldn’t contain myself anymore, so when night
came around i walked as far into the dunes as
i could without getting lost and rubbed one out
under a full moon. • i’m ocd and always
“christen” everywhere i go by jerking off there at
least once — even friends’ houses. • A funeral
home. • in the on-train buffet. • in my boyfriend’s
gran’s bed. in my own gran’s bed. • While standing
in a manhole, exposed from mid-chest up, during
the day in full view of the public. • Waiting to pay
a toll at the canada-Us border crossing. • At the
office. shot into my secretary’s bottle of hand
lotion so i could imagine her rubbing my cum
into her hands. • on a bus. it was a long trip and
my water bottle was empty. • during medieval
wargames.
aGe ain’t nothin’
but a nuMber
Respondents ranged in age from 14 to 85,
with 22-year-olds best represented. Most
were between the ages of 18 and 36, with
a smaller spike between 45 and 50.
chronologically: 46. Attitudinally: 26.
sexual exploration and drive: 16. sexual
maturity: 46. • i have been actively gay for over 40
years. i adore it so much. i adore kissing and being
kissed. • oMG! You don’t ask a gay man his age.
• it sucks being over 50 in gay culture.
• recycled teenager.
all ’round
the World
Three quarters of respondents had GTA
postal codes, but the rest of Canada, the
US, UK and Australia were well repre-
sented. One respondent identified as
“homeless,” and three chided us for asking
for such personal information.
fab April 27, 2011 19
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Deep Dish Rolyn Chambers

photos by Tony Fong

A
s we are about to leave As I make my way down to
the seventh annual Jessica the bathroom, I discover that
Massive Party at the Art and Billy are the halls of Woody’s are
class acts @
Gallery of Ontario, I discover swimming with men who
Massive Party 
the “real” party. The first floor seem to have forgotten their
is filled with glamorous cultural Ryan and Greg shirts… and their pants.
consumers, art aficionados and are too fine and Slotted right before the weekly
a live performance by Mz Chawls fabulous for Marchesa Best Ass Contest, the Downtown
& The Wonderfuls, which is indeed words @ Massive Luisa Casati Swim Club is hosting its annual
wonderful. The second floor’s Hazel Party is simply fundraiser, The Pool Party. Men
cute photo booth, created by art finds a meaty marvellous @ in tight-fitting Speedo-ish gear are
duo Camilla Singh and Walter hero in Massive Party  doing full runway walks and
Dolphin Boy @
Willems, causes wannabe The carnival rages into town Brazilian Ball clowning around while drag queen
models to line up for a chance @ Brazilian Ball Lulu helps them show off their goods
to have their photo taken under- Foxy guys — the swimsuits. To raise cash, as
in feathers
neath a fake shark. On a hunch, we follow the well as a few eyebrows, they are auc-
flock together
living installation, a woman portraying Marchesa @ Brazilian tioning off the suits, but the auction and
Luisa Casati (the celebrated Italian arts patron Ball auctioneer Phillip Coupal hit a snag. Few are
of the early 20th century), who, with her won- Danny and bidding. They start at 10 dollars. They
derfully costumed entourage (complete with Sammy get sell two. To the same guy. There are
large leopard puppets, no less), leads us up to in some snake two possible reasons for this. One: they
the third floor. Behold, this is where everyone wrestling need professional (hotter) models to
— like Jie Matar and fashion designer Kendra @ Massive move the merchandise. Two: they
Francis — has retreated. An indulgent attitude Party need better (hotter) merchandise. But
overwhelms the ballroom as loud business it’s not who wins or loses, it’s who
types boast about “buying” hot “babes” Rodney, Favio gets to sniff a pair of used trunks.
and Arilda are
drinks at the open bar while looped feeling the heat @
ladies in jewels rub up against what Brazilian Ball As we make our entrance into the
Albert and
they hope are gay gays. A rub is a rub. opulent dining room in the Convention
Lula don’t
I got a massive. drag down the Centre for the 45th Annual Brazilian Ball, we
team @ The realize we are in for a decadent night.
As we head up to the dancefloor, a Curtis Pool Party Huge four-foot gilt centrepieces rise high
commotion takes place at the door. and Matak above each table and walls draped in
It’s Lydia Sanz, the headline DJ for ride the Matt and regal red fabric are adorned with 18-foot
night out Eran is looking to do some
tonight’s spectacle at fly. I’ve never Bryce are feeding golden statues. The night kicks off with a
@ fly laps with the boys or just lei
their love of art @
heard of this tattooed beauty from them @ The Pool Party   pulse-popping performance by dancers flown
Fire and Ice are both cool Massive Party
Barcelona, but Matinée group’s in from Brazil. Ken Shaw’s booming voice
and hot @ Brazilian Ball
Circuit Festival (which Sanz is welcomes the VIPs, who include Ivan de Souza
part of) has quite the reputation. and the Brazilian ambassador to
Circuit is an international gay and Danny, Canada, Piragibe dos Santos. During a
lesbian party festival that takes place in Miles, Matt and succulent dinner, the much-anticipated
Barcelona each year (this year from Tuesday, Angelo get ready auction takes place. Bidding starts at
to lube up the Dave, Matan
August 4 to Sunday, August 14). Each year $10,000; by the end of the night, more
dancefloor and Jose are
the event is promoted with pre-parties in @ fly than $2 million has been raised for the
ready for some
almost 20 major cities around the world. mouth-to- Royal Ontario Museum. The samba
Tonight is fly’s turn. Sanz doesn’t speak much mouth @ The parade, complete with massive cos-
English, but she manages to tell me, “I really Pool Party tumes and scantily clad dancers, winds
wanna get the boys pumping.” I really wanna through the dining room to end the
see that too — so off to the dancefloor night. Watching former Ontario pre-
I head, hoping to assist in the pump- mier Mike Harris roam through a sea of
ing of the boys. Regular fly guys like buxom women and little 90-year-old
Nicholas Silveri, Neel Rafi and Mathieu Robert Mississauga Mayor Hazel McCallion
Chantelois, however, do not seem to and Tyler dance with a buff man dressed as a
are fit and David
need my assistance to enjoy Sanz’s fine @ fly  brought his half-naked Poseidon makes me smile
set. My hands go unused. big pink — and a wee bit jealous.
beach bucket
@ The Pool deepdish@fabmagazine.com
Gaelen and Pascal
Gairy, Gary and Mathieu Party 
are all smiles @ fly  Speedos for sale, hopefully still warm
are up to no good @ fly
@ The Pool Party
20 April 27, 2011 fab fab April 27, 2011 21
 Know
more.
What is the Lambda study?
Lambda was a survey of 2,438 gay and bisexual men
in Toronto and Ottawa. The purpose of the study was to
collect information from men in these cities about their
sexual and other behaviours, including condom use
and HIV status. This community report presents some
of the key study findings.

The community report and full technical report of the Lambda findings are available at:

www.lambdasurvey.ca

22 April 27, 2011 fab

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BELLINI AT LARGE Paul Bellini

Life is a

old chum

So far she’s hosted shows by Richard Ryder, I told her it would never work. Well, what
Carla Collins, Lea DeLaria and Sharron do I know?
Matthews. It’s a great room for music, Cassella is taking a year off from produc-
comedy — even light operetta. ing her queer comedy fest, We’re Funny
The pub side is run by the venerable That Way, so she can concentrate on making
Mackenzie, the brains behind Slack Alice, the Flying Beaver Pubaret a huge success.
The Looking Glass and Big Momma’s Boy. She mentions upcoming shows featuring
On the night I was there, a Taborah Johnson and Shawn
lively crowd belted back pints Hitchins and is considering
in the pub while a totally other acts. One such show might
unhinged lesbian birthday be Viva Cabaret, starring Yura
party tore up the cabaret. The Ruzhyev.
venue has already made its I went to a press preview of
mark; a suspected gas leak that Yura’s classy show held at the
shut down the whole street and Gladstone Hotel a few weeks
brought out a Hazmat unit back. He transforms from Ella
turned out to be some ancient Fitzgerald to Marlene Dietrich to
garbage that had been moved Liza to Cher all in the blink of
he Flying Beaver is the name of out back. I love, also, that they an eye, his quick costume
an airplane, apparently. It’s also copied the interior of a nearby changes and choreography caus-
Yura as Liza.
the name of a new hotspot at 488 Starbucks. “Hey, Starbucks ing him to work up quite a glow.
Parliament St that hosts shows pays designers so much money to do their I saw Yura perform at Grapefruit at fly
on Fridays and Saturdays, does space. Why on earth should we reinvent recently, a fun evening despite the presence
a brunch and T-dance on Sundays and the wheel?” says Cassella. of more security than at an airport during
hosts karaoke on Thursdays. It covers all This isn’t the first time Cassella has run a terrorist alert. The crowd adored Yura’s
the gay bases and is not to be confused a bar, having done it 20 years ago in Madonna impersonation, as did I. Yet Yura
with The Beaver on Queen West. This beav Connecticut. But it’s a chance for her to doesn’t consider himself a drag queen, since
is run by dyke enfants terribles Heather take a break from doing standup and from he does Elvis Presley, Charlie Chaplin and
Mackenzie and Maggie Cassella. “We see pitching ideas to unresponsive Canadian James Brown impersonations as well.
it as a destination and as a television executives. “I was The Viva Cabaret show is reminiscent
neighbourhood bar for the treated better at Showtime in of the movie Cabaret, which is no coinci-
Cabbagetown queer commu- the States than at TVtropolis,” dence. “Liza is my favourite,” Yura says.
nity,” says Cassella. she laments. Cassella and I Darling, Liza is everyone’s favourite. But I
The Flying Beaver is also a pitched a couple of show ideas enjoy the fact that he dares to do Edith Piaf
pubaret, a made-up word that years ago and got CBC devel- and Shirley Bassey as well. Yura is present-
Cassella has already trade- opment money for a project ing his full two-hour show at the Gladstone
marked. That means it’s a pub called Up Late (set in a caba- on the first Wednesday of May and June
on one side and a cabaret on the ret, no less), but it was her and is doing a Pride show at Buddies on
other. The cabaret space is very reality show idea, in which Thursday, June 29.
nice, with a stage in front of fatsos lose weight, that might So if I learned anything, it’s that Yura
huge windows that open out to Maggie Cassella have clicked. “I just thought can rock and beavers can fly.
the street, ideal for window picks the talent at it was too mean,” she com-
the Flying Beaver.
shows. Cassella books the room. ments. That, plus the fact that paul@fabmagazine.com

fab April 27, 2011 23

 STYLE Max MacDonald

Toronto’s mistress of alternative fashion

S
ix years ago Vanja Vasic harnessed
Toronto’s underground fashion scene
and corralled it into the Toronto
Alternative Arts and Fashion Week, other-
wise known as FAT. Since then, this annual
four-day contemporary arts and fashion
festival has evolved into LG Fashion Week’s
punky, anarchist, gay brother and given our
vanilla metropolis a tasty licorice swirl.
FAT is far more than just an experimen-
tal playground promoting fashion bohemia;
it’s an outlet for those with the creativity,
vision and balls to express themselves
without commercial pressure, using medi-
ums ranging from film to lipstick. The
concept came to Vasic while she was study-
ing at the UK’s Central Saint Martins
College, where she was inspired by a
runway show that married fashion and
performance art. Back home in Toronto she
saw a need for a vehicle that would allow
participants to play with ideas surrounding
sexuality, fear and darkness as they apply
to art and fashion.
This year’s event, running from April
26 to 29, has a new home at 99 Sudbury.
The theme is Fashion Schematics, and an
International Fashion Film Festival series
has been added to the programming. Vasic,
though elusive, put down her under-
ground fashion whip long enough to speak
with me about FAT’s sixth anniversary,
the IFFF and how she makes designers
and artists like David C Wigley, Zoran
Dobric, Louis Manzo and Johannes Zits
beg for more.

Leighton-Anthony Miller
FAT brainchild
Vanja Vasic.

Max MacDonald: What is different about the mainstream

FAT this year?
Vanja Vasic: Last year was a breakthrough
year and was groundbreaking in terms of
establishing us as a festival. I think we’ve
grown up as an event in many ways, and
we’ve incorporated more established
people for this year.
MM: Where do you see FAT fitting into
Toronto’s fashion landscape?
VV: FAT is about pushing boundaries and
changing that landscape. We encourage
people to embrace fashion from their own
point of view. In fact, LG Fashion Week
has followed FAT by incorporating new
designers and picking a theme. I would
love for FAT to become the fashion version
of Nuit Blanche.
MM: What are the challenges you face in
putting on FAT each year?
VV: The main challenge is finding funding
and support for this type of event. There
are some sponsors who didn’t initially get
the concept. I find we have a problem getting
media to attend, and
we would love more
of them. It’s hard to
grow the event to a
new level every year
because there is the
misconception it’s
A look by Miller
weird or strange,
Monroe set to hit
which it’s not. the runway this
year at FAT.
MM: Has there ever
been a proposal so
outlandish or MM: The IFFF series is new for 2011.
controversial it was too crazy even for FAT? How did that develop?
VV: [laughs] Let me think: we wouldn’t neces- VV: Kyle Kofsky approached us to get
sarily say it’s weird, but we say it’s not us. But involved with FAT in some form. I met
there has been nothing really off the chain. with him and proposed the idea of involv-
ing fashion films. The inspiration comes
MM: Have you ever been backstage before a from showstudio.com — it’s a great way to
designer’s show and said, “What’s that?” get the public to see clothes differently.
VV: There have been many times when
I have flagged garments and asked, “Um...
is that finished?” It is ultimately up to the For more info, go to getfat.ca.
designers to control their work. I love crazy
work, but it has to be well made. style@fabmagazine.com

24 April 27, 2011 fab

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TUNES Phil Villeneuve

Sexy gleeful punx

Since this issue is stuffed with all things sex, I wondered about what was sexy in music today. Whips and chains
don’t excite me like they do Rihanna; I’m not sure how deep I want to roll, unlike Adele; and I most
definitely am not doing it on the floor like my favourite chola, JLo. For me, sexy music doesn’t try too hard:
it’s confident, different and, of course, has a slow throbbing beat to bump and grind to.

EXHIBIT #1: An incredible group of students
at Scarborough’s Wexford Collegiate School
for the Arts. The Wexford Glee (Yes, glee
clubs exist in real life as well as on TV)
recently won the Show Choir Canadian
Nationals. Their 15-minute performance
started with an explosive mashup of “Lady
Marmalade” mixed with “There Is Nothin’
Like a Dame” from the musical South
Pacific. “True Colours” and a medley of
Rent songs sealed the deal, and now these
theatrical superstars are champions.
“We try to stay original and avoid songs
previously performed on Glee,” Kabir
Mahjoori explains. “We love to do our
musical theatre ballads. “
The 70 members of the group are less like
TV’s Glee club cast and more like their on-
screen rivals, the Warblers. They exist in a
very positive environment (Wexford is
basically a musical theatre school), where
glee club members are cool and celebrated.
Ann Merriam, the artistic director, boasts:
“[We have] every kind of kid you can imagine.
Black, white, poor, rich, gay, straight, tall,
Wexford Glee is gleeful after their triumph.
short. That’s what makes the Wexford gleeks
so special. What they all have in common is
a sense of community, heart and talent. There where we are free to do what we love to do,”
are no divas; it’s about the team.” Mahjoori says proudly. “We have a great
These are kids who at any other school gay-straight alliance and a no-tolerance
wouldn’t have a chance to shine as bright. policy for discrimination of any kind. No
“We are in a completely safe environment slushies in the face here.”

EXHIBIT #2: Hunx and His Punx comprises group pop and loose, noisy garage rock.
an extremely gay Californian garage rocker Bogart’s careless attitude and effort-
and his all-girl band, the Punkettes. lessly greasy style is very sexy. We talked
String-bean lead singer Seth Bogart is on the phone from his touring van; in the
the ridiculously raunchy Hunx. His self- middle of our conversation he
confidence allows him to wear mesh needed a snack, so our call continued in
underwear onstage, showcasing what he a Quickie Mart.
refers to as a less-than-glamorous package. Though the overtly queer Hunx show
“Shannon, one of the Punkettes, looked over is something most crowds drool over,
at me onstage the other night and said my Seth Bogart is a hunk. Bogart says some US crowds don’t get it.
dick looked disgusting,” Bogart laughs. “She And that turns him on. “I kind of prefer
said it was all curved up and white. And They quickly decided the deliciously sleazy it when the crowd doesn’t like us because
they started playing a song without me.” Bogart himself should front the band. it turns me into a raging alcoholic and
Bogart and his ex-boyfriend had been They’ve been touring non-stop ever since, comedian,” he says.
writing songs tailored for a “teen girl group.” delivering their crunchy mix of ’60s girl- What kinds of men do Hunx and His
Punx love to see in the audience? Their
ideal is a beefy boy with a “hairy chest,
I asked beyond-sexy host/DJ Miss Margot to share her big hands and shitty jail tattoos.”
favourite songs to bump uglies to at her various parties:
Goth Drag: “Sex Dwarf” by Soft Cell Hunx and His Punx play Wed, April 27
Big Primpin’: “Ignition” by R Kelly at the Horseshoe Tavern, 370 Queen
Eurovision: “Just a Little” by Liberty X and “Paris (Vocal Edit)” by Friendly Fires St W. Look for a review and photos on
Moose Knuckle Disco – “You” by Steed Lord fabmagazine.com.

To get sexy, check the Gay Agenda at fabmagazine.com for info on Miss Margot’s events. tunes@fabmagazine.com

fab April 27, 2011 25

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GAY AGENDA
Wed, aPriL 27
Sexy boys strip onstage, plus a new
pool-room bar where nudity is
encouraged. 4pm–2am. Flash, 463
Church St. Membership or $5 day pass.
flashonchurch.com
FAT 2011: Toronto Alternative Arts &
Fashion Week continues with Natural
Currencies, showcasing how nature
and sustainability influence art and
design. An evening of film, runway,
music and more with an exploded
closet’s worth of artists and designers.
FAT runs till Fri, April 29, 6–11:30pm.
99 Sudbury, 99 Sudbury St. $25–70.
getfat.ca
Rope Bondage 101 and Beyond, with
Morpheous, explores safety, how to
choose a good rope and, of course, how
to get it on. 7:30–9:30pm.
Come As You Are, 701 Queen St W.
$30, sliding scale available.
comeasyouare.com
Woodrow Monteiro
@ The Guvernment
on Fri, May 6
26 April 27, 2011 fab
John Crouch, Ryan English, Michael Lyons, Drew Rowsome,
Rahem Saeed, Eduardo Sabate & Jonathan Valelly
Progress @ Grannyboots is the Toronto
launch of Michael V Smith’s astounding
novel Progress. With Marcus McCann,
Zoe Whittall, GentleLady Regina and
DJs Miss Brown and Maggie
MacDonald. 8pm. Gladstone Hotel,
1214 Queen St W. No cover.
gladstonehotel.com
Red Party. Voyeurs’ delight and
delightfully lit meat. 9pm. Spa Excess,
105 Carlton St. Regular rates apply.
spaexcess.com
Thurs, aPriL 28
Retro Thursdays, with DJ Clarence
spinning ’70s and ’80s faves. And of
course, hot new boys stripping.
5pm–2am. Remington’s, 379 Yonge St.
$5. remingtons.com
Cock Fight: Fisting the Night Away.
Dirty contests, hosted by Mistress
Frostitution. 10pm. The Black Eagle,
457 Church St. No cover.
blackeagletoronto.ca
Pick the perkiest pecs at the Smirnoff
Best Chest Contest, hosted by salacious
superstars Sofonda and Miss
Conception. DJ Mark Falco spins.
Midnight. Woody’s, 465 Church St. No
cover. woodystoronto.com
Fri, aPriL 29
Bangers, mash and an about-to-be-
banged princess. The Fairmont Royal
York is holding a special Royal Tea
while screening the nuptials of Will and
Kate. 5–8am. 100 Front St W. Various
pricings. Reservations at
416-860-6949.
Be sure to check two forms
of ID before going home
with anyone from
Homohop, the all-ages gay
dance party, hosted by
Take Me Spears with DJ
Craig Dominic. 9pm. $5
before 11pm, $10 after.
And Destination is a new
monthly party where the
adults can win a trip to
Puerto Vallarta while DJ
Cajjmere Wray spins.
Special performances
by Tynomi Banks and
Devine Darlin. 10pm.
The Barn, 418 Church
St. $10.
thebarnnightclub.com
Dance Camp cranks up vocal-based
house for lip-synching partiers. Hosted
by Daniel McBride with DJ Mark Falco.
10pm. fly, 8 Gloucester St. $5 before
11pm, $10 after. flynightclub.com
Get damp at the Muddy York Rugby
Club’s Wet Jock Contest. A fundraiser
for the Red Cross Japan Relief Fund.
10pm. The Black Eagle, 457 Church St.
No cover. blackeagletoronto.ca
Shake & Pop. Superstar DJs Blackcat and
Sumation team up to drive the dancefloor
crazy with top 40, dance, house, electro
and more. 10pm. Zipperz-Cellblock, 72
Carlton St. No cover. zipperzcellblock.com
saT, aPriL 30
Lights, Camera, Auction, hosted by Deb
Pearce with DJ Craig Dominic, is the
official launch party and fundraiser for
Inside Out Toronto LGBT Film and Video
Festival. 7pm. Canadian National Ballet
School, 400 Jarvis St. No cover.
insideout.ca
Furr-ocious! Retro bear dance party and
birthday bash for Josh B. DJ Alain spins
retro ’70s, ’80s and ’90s groove in a
benefit for the World Society for the
Protection of Animals. 10pm. Vizion
Lounge, 580 Church St. $5.
fuzionexperience.com
Wonderland in fly with DJs Jamal,
Dwayne Minard and Luiz Clarck. 10pm.
fly, 8 Gloucester St. $10 before midnight,
$15 till 1am, $20 after. flynightclub.com
Spearhead Chaps Night, hosted by
Frank M, with DJ The Robotic Kid in
the back. 10pm. The Black Eagle,
457 Church St. No cover.
blackeagletoronto.ca
Alain @ Vizion Lounge
on Sat, April 30
Scandal Saturdays. DJ Craig Dominic
in The Zone while DJ Quinces rocks
Tangos. Crews & Tangos, 508 Church
St. $2 after 10pm. crewsandtangos.com
Sexy Dirty Beats fill the air, courtesy of
DJ César Murillo, while the men use
them as inspiration. 10pm.
Steamworks, 540 Church St. Regular
rates apply. steamworksonline.com
Pop Machine: XR8TED, hosted by
Alessandro with DJ Shane Percy.
10pm. WAYLA, 996 Queen St E. $5.
whatareyoulookingatbar.com
There Goes the Neighourhood. Grindr
Sunglasses at Night Party, with DJs
Denise Benson and Rolls Royce.
Hosted by Matt Barker. The Barn, 418
Church St. 10pm. No cover before
midnight. thebarnnightclub.com
Tapette. Come French with le délicieux
DJ Phil V. 10:30pm. Naco Gallery, 1665
Dundas St W. No cover. nacogallery.com
sun, May 1
Black & White Film Workshop.
Sunday morning film-processing
session. 10am. Limelight Books &
Photographs. 892 Pape Ave. $20.
416-389-2275.
Mayworks Festival presents a May Day
Poetry Marathon, with poets of all kinds
reading nonstop for five hours. 3–8pm.
The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St W.
$10–25. mayworks.ca
Triggerfish Water Polo’s New
Members’ Night, for newbies and
seasoned players alike. 6–8pm.
University of Toronto Athletic Centre,
55 Harbord St. triggerfishwaterpolo.ca
@ Remington’s
 Jessica Phillips and Miss Conception
@ Woody’s on Sun, May 1

Screww Tea Dance. DJ Ralph Bright Lights of Broadway. Clint

Hamelmann spins new wave, disco, Lyckher and Carlotta Carlisle, with
classic rock and dance from the ’70s, the Imperial Court of Toronto, host a
’80s and ’90s. Guest performers fundraiser for PWA and SOY. 9pm.
include Queer Idol 2010 winner George’s Play, 504 Church St.
Tash Biondolillo and Queer Idol No cover. playonchurch.com.
2011 competitor Amy Lewis.
Release Sunday. DJs
4–7pm. The Flying Beaver
Cajjmere Wray and Luiz
Pubaret, 488 Parliament St. No
Clarck spin for
cover. pubaret.com
dancing and a live
Miss Conception’s onstage sex
Wipeout Canada show. Hosted by
Viewing Party. A Lior, Matt
fundraiser for the PWA Barker and
Friends for Life Bike Mojo. 10pm.
Rally and a celebration Flash
of media whore Miss C’s Nightclub, 463
appearance on mainstream Church St. $5
TV. Hosted by Miss before 11:30pm,
Conception and Wipeout $10 after.
Canada’s Jessica Phillips. flashonchurch.com
6–9pm. Followed by the Drag
Legend Show, starring Michelle
Ross and Amanda Roberts, at
9pm; Georgie Girl and
Donnarama welcome Sylvia,
Honey Brown and Katherine Andrew
Dior at 11pm. Woody’s, 465 Johnston @
Church St. No cover. Buddies on
woodystoronto.com Tues, May 3

Dr.
Robin
Compton
D e ntis t

drrobincompton@ hotmail.com
N EW PATIEN TS WELCO ME
FLEXIBLE HO URS MO N DAY TO FRIDAY
www.drrobincompton.ca
80 Charles Street East Lower Level Toronto,O N 416.926.1502

fab April 27, 2011 27

Mon, May 2
Federal Election. Get out and vote!
9:30am–9:30pm. Various locations. No
cover. elections.ca
Mother’s Day is coming and the most
hilarious way to prepare is Adam Bailey
Makes Last-Minute Crafts. Cut, paste
and laugh your ass off. 8:30pm. The
Press Club, 850 Dundas St W. No cover,
$10 for craft kits.
Rainbow Room Cabaret. Performances
by AJ Stewart and guitarist Matthew
Marcoccia. 8:30pm. Statlers, 487
Church St. No cover. statlersonchurch.ca
FML Mondays. Doctor DJ ViVi Diamond
treats your case of the Mondays. 10pm.
Fuzion Resto-Lounge, 580 Church St.
No cover. fuzionexperience.com
Tues, May 3
Hope Rising! is a star-studded concert
featuring Rufus Wainwright and Alicia
Keys benefiting the Stephen Lewis
Foundation, which has raised more than
$40 million for those communities hit
hardest by the global AIDS pandemic.
8pm. The Sony Centre, 1 Front St E.
$150 and up. sonycentre.ca
Trystan Bull @
Goodhandy’s
on Fri, May 6
Alessandro and
Shane Percy
@ WAYLA on
Sat, April 30
28 April 27, 2011 fab
Brown Balls, presented by fu-GEN
Asian Canadian Theatre Company,
features three men exploding Asian male
stereotypes. Runs till Sun, May 15. 8pm.
Factory Studio Theatre, 125 Bathurst
St. $10–26. factorytheatre.ca
Bitch Salad host Andrew Johnston
throws in some new meat for the Freshly
Tossed Bitches Show, a show packed
with funny, forever-bitchy, first-time
performers. 8pm. Buddies, 12 Alexander
St. $10. buddiesinbadtimes.com
Wed, May 4
College Night. DJs Sumation and Jamal
spin the hottest tracks. The only exams
here are oral. 10pm. The Barn, 418 Church
St. No cover. thebarnnightclub.com
Snakepit. Weekly queer dance party with
DJs Le Freak C’est Keek and Jack Rabbit
Slim. 10pm. Henhouse, 1532 Dundas St W.
No cover. henhousetoronto.com.
Thurs, May 5
Agokwe, a story of gay love on the rez
by Dora Award–winning actor and
creator Waawaate Fobister, returns to
the Buddies stage after a national tour.
Runs till Sun, May 15. 8pm.
12 Alexander St. PWYC–$33.
buddiesinbadtimes.com
Queer Social presents Disorder, a
Cinco de Mayo evening of hijinks and
shenanigans. DJs 4est and Peachy
Keen spin, with musical and comedic
performances by Brock and McGill.
9:30pm. Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St W. $5
Buzz Cuts: Leather Bar Disko-Tek.
Sex-drenched sweatfest with DJs Joe
Louis and The Robotic Kid spinning and a
surprise performance at midnight. 10pm.
The Black Eagle, 457 Church St. No cover.
blackeagletoronto.com
Kink in the City
@ Black Eagle on
Sat, May 7
Fri, May 6
Dirty Sexy Party Third Anniversary.
Celebrating three years of fun and filth
with pornstars Parker London, Trystan
Bull, go-go dancers and yet another
pornstar surprise. DJ ViVi Diamond
keeps everybody dancing, vertically or
otherwise. Hosted by Sofonda and
Joseph Patrick. 10pm. Goodhandy’s,
120 Church St. $10. goodhandys.com
Massive: Spring Edition features DJs
Isaac Escalante, Luiz Clarck and Stephan
Grondin. Hosted by Walther Aguilar,
Woodrow Monteiro, Angus and Matt
Barker. 10pm. The Guvernment, 132
Queen’s Quay E. $25. prismtoronto.com
Rocket Video Dance Party with DJ/VJ
Sumation. 10pm. fly, 8 Gloucester St.
No cover before 11pm, $5 before
midnight, $10 after. flynightclub.com
Diskotek. DJ Jamal spins, with a
special performance by the Diskotek
Go-Go Boy. 11pm. Byzantium, 499
Church St. No cover. byz.ca
Sat, May 7
TLGTA Summer Social Tennis Season
Opening Day kicks off the first day of
the season for the gay tennis club. Come
out and watch the balls fly. 9am–noon.
Ramsden Park, 215 Avenue Rd.
outsporttoronto.org
Ghost Light Projects presents a Sedaris
double bill: The Book of Liz by David
and his sister Amy and The Santaland
Diaries by David. Sat, May 7–Sun, May
15. 7 pm. Buddies In Bad Times
Theatre, 12 Alexander St. $25
advance, $30 door.
ghostlightprojects.com.
Northbound Leather
Fetish Night. Leather,
chains or cold steel, it’s
fetish-wear only. DJ
Jimi LaMort spins.
9pm. Goodhandy’s,
120 Church St. $5 till
10pm, $15 after.
goodhandys.com
Agokwe @ Buddies from
Thurs, May 5–Sun, May 15
The Imperial Court of Toronto
presents TLC and the Diamonds, a
benefit for the TICOT charities. Hosted
by HIM Empress XXII Ms Tiffany
Louise-Charles. 9pm–midnight.
George’s Play, 504 Church St. $5.
playonchurch.com
Mojo presents Crave, with DJ Mark
Falco spinning. Beats, booze and
gyrating go-go boys. 10pm. Fuzion, 580
Church St. No cover before midnight, $5
after. fuzionexperience.com
Kink in the City believes in fetish-art
spontaneity. Featuring appearances by
Penny Gyokeres, Ryan Lemesurier,
Northbound Leather, the Friends for
Life Bike Rally and more. 10pm. Black
Eagle, 457 Church St. No cover.
blackeagletoronto.com
Love Saves the Day as DJ Jaime Sin
keeps the heart beating and blood
flowing below the belt. 11pm. The
Beaver, 1192 Queen St W. No cover.
beavertoronto.com
Sun, May 8
Just in time for Mother’s Day, it’s the 10
Rules for Happy Non-Monogamy
Workshop, with Andrea Zanin. Your mom
will be appreciative. 5:30–7:30pm. Come
as You Are, 701 Queen St W. $30, sliding
scale available. comeasyouare.com
Mon, May 9
Older Mondays. Cool facts, fun trivia
and socializing, followed by a discussion
about gay experience in Iran contrasted
to life in TO. Hosted by Yegi Dabui from
IRQR. 1–5pm. 519 Community Centre,
519 Church St. No cover. the519.org
Video Night, hosted by VJ Blue Peter.
10pm. Woody’s, 465 Church St. No
cover. woodystoronto.com
Tues, May 10
So You Think You Can Strip? A weekly
amateur night. 9pm. Remington’s, 379
Yonge St. $5, students no cover.
remingtons.com
 TTC BLOOR ST

Hayden St

Charles St

CHURCH ST
LEGEND:
◗ BARS/CLUBS Isabella St
◗ MEN’S SPAS
◗ RESTAURANTS
Gloucester St
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fab April 27, 2011 29
 business directory
LOSE WEIGHT • GAIN MUSCLE
GET READY FOR PRIDE 2011!
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christinehblwellness@gmail.com
416.816.2938
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RE/MAX Hallmark Realty Ltd., Brokerage© Food orders
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t w i t t e r. c o m / f a b m a g a z i n e
30 April 27, 2011 fab
 business directory
accommodations legal services
Isabella Hotel & Suites Immigration is for lovers Ferreira-Wells
416.922.2203 Immigration Services
556 Sherbourne Street Toronto 1377 Bathurst St.

get him
IsabellaHotel.com 416.651.8889
immigrationservices.ca
computer services Robert I. Blanshay, Immigration Lawyer
228 Gerrard Street East
Around The Clock I. T. Solutions Ltd.
Business, Home, PC’s, Mac’s, Servers, Networking
Toronto 416-657-4395
416.413.4955
robert@apply2canada.com
on the
Mississauga 905-301-4541
Durham 905-706-7030

cosmetic dermatology
pet services
BuddyLuv PET SPA
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line
Promoting Well-Being in a Homestyle,
Dr. Daniel Schachter & Dr. Anne Curis Cage-Free Spa
Cosmetic Dermatology 12 Irwin Ave.
208 Bloor St. W., 4th Floor 416-920-PETS (7387)
416.922.6869 www.buddyluvpetspa.com
unlockyourbeauty.com
real estate
counselling
Christopher Kowal
Phillip Coupal Royal LePage Urban Realty

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royrunions.com
dentists
restaurants
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25 Charles St. W, Toronto, ON Hernando’s Hideaway
416.923.3386 545 Yonge Street
Dr. Kevin Russelo & Associates 416-929-3629 Find your local number: 1.800.777.8000
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Dr. Martin Sterling & Associates tattoos & piercing
2 Bloor St. W. Suite 1904
416.923.8042 Exotix Studios Tattoos and Body Piercing
Dr. Varshney and Dr. Ioannidis 163 Spadina Ave

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health & wellness

travel services EmploymEnt
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416-816-2938 1.800.335.2304
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Assignment Editor,
Xtra media group (Toronto)
to advertise in the Canada’s premier gay and lesbian media group is looking for a full-time
assignment Editor. Working from our offices in the Church and Wellesley

business directory...
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fab April 27, 2011 31

 REAL ESTATE

EXCLUSIVE LISTING NEW TO THE MARKET

NEXT CLASSIFIED DEADLINE: WED, APRIL 20TH @ NOON TRENDY BOUTIQUE BUILDING
(1 blockWED,
NEXT CLASSIFIED DEADLINE: to WellesleyMAY
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CLEANERS
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For additional information or to view this listing, contact:
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For additional informationinfo@HomesWithUs.com
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32 April 13, 2011 fab

 Together Heroine Marks

‘I thought he was a cute, young

man who needed to get laid.’
G
rant, a Leo, and Michael, a Sagittarius,
first met 21 years ago through a
mutual friend. Grant worked with
a woman who was curious if her room-
mate, Michael, was gay. Putting his gaydar
abilities to use, Grant investigated. “I
thought he was a nerd,” says Grant, who
remembers seeing Michael on the couch
watching Star Wars. “He was a cute, young
man who needed to get laid.”
The two began dating one drunken
night at Woody’s after Grant made a move.
“The relationship was like a bullet train,”
says Grant. “It was pretty instant,” adds
Michael. For their first date, the couple
day I joke that he is still with me because
I owe him $200 from 21 years ago,” says
Grant with a laugh.
For fun the couple enjoys cooking and
playing games together. “We’ve nested,”
says Grant. “We’re like a married couple.”
Like every married couple, they can get
annoyed with each other from time to
time. Grant says he hates Michael’s snor-
ing, while Grant’s non-stop chatting can
be a lot for Michael to handle. “We haven’t
really changed each other in 21 years,”
says Grant. “Our differences brought us
together. Michael keeps the roof over our
heads and I keep the beer in the fridge.”

Grant & Michael

went out for a gourmet meal with rounds What’s their secret? “We don’t fight,” says
of drinks. When the bill came, Grant real- Grant. “We’re friends, not drama queens.
ized he didn’t have enough to pay it and We look into the future and know it gets
borrowed money from Michael. “To this better.” — 21 years

To be profiled, email a short bio and/or pic to together@fabmagazine.com

World Broadcast Premiere: April 29

Enter the Land of

Impulse and Desire
Season 1:
A Five Episode Series
Broadcast Premiere,
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Blockbuster A-List Cast @ 10 pm EST
Chris Porter, Kennedy Carter, Jeremy Bilding,
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fab April 27, 2011 33
• To change the folio, unlock the folio layer, open up the fly-out menu of the Pages palette and select “Override All Master Page Items”.

fab GUY Drasko Bogdanovic

Name: Darryl
Age: 24
Sign: Leo

“
I
love living in the Village because I know that no matter
how much of a hot gay mess I may look like, there’s always
a happy hooker nearby one-upping me,” says Darryl.
He works as a graphic designer for Pink Triangle Press and is
responsible for helping fab with its fabulous look, but he’s always
up to something on the side. “I’ve also been an artist my entire
life,” he says. “I love having no rules and being able to go crazy
on a blank canvas with my vision and ideas.” The ultimate
Lady Gaga fan, Darryl’s hobbies include “eating cheesecake
with the Golden Girls, and I’ve been known to watch an episode
or 12 of The Kardashians.” Darryl says his perfect meal would
be “a big-ass cheeseburger served off a naked blond hottie.”
Asked to describe his ideal night out, he says he’d “shake
my ass, cause a little trouble and kiss a few hot strangers.”
Darryl says his best features are his winning personality and his
baby-blue eyes. His parting words of wisdom for fab readers?
“Save the diva routines, the shitty attitudes and the drama.
Let’s all just love each other and get naked!”

More photos by Drasko Bogdanovic at draskobogdanovic.ca

HOURS: 5PM-2AM 7 DAYS A WEEK To compliment or become a fab guy, email fabguy@fabmagazine.com
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34 April 27, 2011 fab

fab April 27, 2011 35
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