FADE IN: INT - THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT Smolder and Scullery are sitting at the desk.

Drake is stretched out on the couch reading a book titled "The Squirrel-Pigeon 2: Nature's Deadliest Sequel". Scullery fiddles with her fingers. SCULLERY Where could he have gone? It's not like he knows a lot of people besides us. SMOLDER Ex-movie studio executives tend to know a lot of people Scullery so he could be anywhere. Scullery walks over to the window and looks outside. SCULLERY Oh yeah. I keep forgetting about that. Smolder slides off the desk and crouches down next to the couch. He reaches under it and feels around. SMOLDER Well we haven't talked about it recently so that's understandable. Scullery walks over to the desk and opens one of the drawers. Smolder sits on the floor against the couch. SCULLERY What are we gonna do? Scullery starts pulling things out of the desk. She pulls out two leather whips, a little griffin statue, a book titled "How to Sleep at a Professional Level", and another book titled "Why Things Happen And What's In It For You." SMOLDER Maybe he's trying to find his father. Scullery closes the drawer. Smolder stands up.

SCULLERY But none of us know where Guildenstern went into hiding. Smolder closes his eyes for a few seconds and then opens them again. SMOLDER That's not exactly true. I just located him with my thingamajig. SCULLERY Where is he? SMOLDER He's where no one would ever think to look for him... SCULLERY The ceiling of a Denny's? SMOLDER No. Ashland, Oregon. DRAKE I wish I'd read the previous book because this book is hard to follow. The plot is really complex... and it's missing about half of it's pages. 30 MINUTES LATER Smolder is on the phone. SMOLDER Are you sure he's not around there? GUILDENSTERN (V. O.) (from phone) Yeah... wait, there he is! (pauses) Oh it's just a regular shoe box. Scullery grabs the book away from Drake.

SMOLDER If he finds you please let us know. Drake leans off the couch and tries to grab the book back. He loses his balance and falls off the couch. GUILDENSTERN (V. O.) (from phone) And if you find him please let me know. He's very special to me and if something happened to him I don't know what I'd do. Scullery helps Drake up and Drake grabs the book out of her hand. SMOLDER We feel the same way about him. Scullery grabs the book and they tug-a-war with it. GUILDENSTERN (V. O.) (from phone) I doubt that. He's my firstborn and creating someone like him is a very unique experience. We have a bond that can never be broken. The book slips out of their hands and flies up in the air. GUILDENSTERN (V. O.) (from phone) Do you know why he got so upset? Drake jumps up, grabs the book, and then falls to the floor. Drake looks hurt. SMOLDER We're not exactly sure. He's never really liked Drake but Alan's never been violent... ever. Scullery snatches the book from Drake and puts it in one of the desk drawers. GUILDENSTERN (V. O.) (from phone) It's probably a lot of little things that formed

into a big snappy thing. He'll be... I gotta go. The line goes dead. Smolder hangs the phone up. SMOLDER That was weird. FADE TO: INT. DIAMOND WATERFRONT GAMES OFFICE - DAY

Freya and Alan are sitting on the table. ALAN So you've never been able to teleport? FREYA Nope. (pauses) It sounds like you're accessing new powers. ALAN But why now? FREYA Maybe it's because of the intense anger you felt. (pauses) I've always had this strange feeling that there was a darkside to us but I've never experienced it myself. ALAN So you think I've gone Sith? FREYA I'm not sure but I'd be careful if I were you. ALAN Don't judge me okay?

FREYA I'm not judging. ALAN It sure sounds like it. FREYA I'm just worried about you. ALAN I want to ask you one more thing. (pauses) Is there a way I can contact our father without knowing where he is? FREYA I don't think so. Alan disappears. FADE TO: INT - THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT Drake sits on the couch. He is alone. DRAKE What's going on? The TV flickers on. TV (O. S.) (from TV) --their lives in A Mystifaction of Subterfuge. THEME MUSIC JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) Who are you hiding from me, Stefan? STEFAN (O. S.)

(from TV) Someone that's hidden. JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) Well obviously. Drake rushes over to the TV. STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) Only three people in the United Mexico of Austria know about this person and I'm one of them. He's a backup plan. JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) For what? World peace? JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) No. Drake shakes the TV. DRAKE Make with the exposition mouth! JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) Excuse me! We're talking here. STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) That's him. JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) Who? STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) Drake.

JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) Who's Drake? DRAKE I'm Drake! JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) He's Drake? STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) Yep. He's the back up plan. JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) Where is he? STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) He's in the real world. JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) But isn't this the real world? STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) Nope. This is a fictional TV show and we're currently breaking the fourth wall. JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) So my life is a sham? STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) Pretty much. JENNY (O. S.) (from TV)

Well what happens next? Smolder and Scullery enter the room carrying groceries. The TV turns off. Drake turns to them. DRAKE I was so close to finding out my destiny and you guys ruined it! SCULLERY We just bought you food so try acting grateful! FADE TO: INT. DARK ROOM

Indrid sits on his chair with a small amount of light coming from above him. Next to Indrid is a small table. He snaps his fingers and Alan SUDDENLY appears on the table. A small spotlight focuses on Alan. ALAN What the heck! INDRID You have been diverted Alan Smithee. ALAN You're damn right I've been diverted! I was trying to find a talking penguin stuffed animal. INDRID You remember me do you not? ALAN You're the guy who screwed around with my life. INDRID I am not to blame for your misfortunes. It is humanity's fault.

ALAN That's not true. INDRID Who took you from your father and enslaved you at ARGH Pictures for years? ALAN Humans I guess. INDRID And who imprisoned your father and then forced him into hiding? ALAN The people who run the Engelsikarios Corporation--INDRID Who are human. ALAN But Smolder and Scullery are good. INDRID They have treated you like an amusement. They think of you as a nothing more then something to entertain them. The table starts to wobble. ALAN That's a lie! INDRID And now they have Drake, an actual human, to take care of. Someone that they can actually have real feelings for. Alan starts to sob. ALAN

They love me. The table starts wobbling even more. INDRID Oh yes, they love you like they love their television. You are just a shoe box to them. An amusing shoe box. ALAN Why are you telling me this? INDRID I'm telling you this because I love you Alan. You're people love you and we want you to know the truth. The table stops wobbling. ALAN You mean the magical people? INDRID Yes. You belong with us. We want you to join us in our war against humanity. Will you join us Alan? ALAN Would you help me find and protect my father? INDRID Of course. ALAN I need to think about this. FADE TO: INT - THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT Smolder is asleep in the chair and Scullery is asleep on the couch. Drake is sitting on the floor in front of the TV.

DRAKE Come on, come on, come on, come-The TV flickers on. DRAKE Yes! JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) ...so I shot him. I shot him good... and that's how I got out of a parking ticket. STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) He's watching us again. JENNY (O. S.) (from TV) I'm starting to have Suicidal thoughts. Since I'm not real why should I keep living. There's no point. DRAKE What's my Destiny, Stefan? I need to know. STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) If it's that important to you then we might as well talk face to face. DRAKE How are we suppose to do that? STEFAN (O. S.) (from TV) Just a second. The SOUND of a five successive clicks. SUDDENLY a flash of light.

Drake disappears. The SOUND of Drake yelling coming from the TV. DRAKE (O. S.) (from TV) I don't like this! CUT TO BLACK: ALAN I've thought it over and I've decided to join you. The SOUND of thunder. THE END