1014 E-mail: admin@lifesuccesspublishing. or fundraising. by any means.All Rights Reserved © 2009 by Petra van der Veen This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part. INSTITUTIONS. Suite D240 Scottsdale.473. For more information. LLC. AZ 85255 Telephone: 800. LIFESUCCESS PUBLISHING. educational purposes.661. ORGANIZATIONS.com ISBN: 978-1-59930-106-8 Cover : Lloyd Arbour & LifeSuccess Publishing. without written consent of the publisher. . LLC 8900 E Pinnacle Peak Road. gifts. Special books or book excerpts can also be created to fit specific needs such as private labeling with your logo on the cover and a message from a VIP printed inside. please contact our Special Sales Department at LifeSuccess Publishing.7134 Fax: 480. LLC COMPANIES. subscription incentives. LLC Layout: Lloyd Arbour & LifeSuccess Publishing. AND INDUSTRY PUBLICATIONS: Quantity discounts are available on bulk purchases of this book for reselling. sponsorship.

And most of all for always loving me and believing in what I do. .Dedication This book is dedicated to my parents for giving birth to me and for raising me to become the woman I am today. This book is also dedicated to everyone who has been in my life and contributed to the person I am right now.


Though many women choose not to have children. They seem so simple. had they pushed their circumstances even a little bit. Since women were given this gift. advancing technologically to improve the land we love. Throughout history we have broken new ground in business and in commerce. Images of the Netherlands include our lush landscape and world renowned tulips. they might have found a more welcoming embrace in the working world—on whatever level—than expected. yet I have seen so many women fail to recognise that they too have much to offer the world. Recently we have opened our luxury five star Librije’s Hotel. yet somehow it took a very long time for women to be taken seriously in the business world yet still allowed to be women in all areas. I grew up during the eighties and equal rights for all.Foreword By Thérèse Boer We Dutch have our own style. yet.” But as far as our forefathers have come. Together with my husband Jonnie we have one of the leading restaurants in the Netherlands. our foremothers have seemed to lag a bit behind. our predecessors found it necessary to “take” something in other areas. our ancient windmills now turned high tech are trend setting in “green movements. Many of the “paradigms” in which Dutch women find themselves trapped are of their own creation. settling new lands. The steps and suggestions offered to you in this book are priceless. Our ancestors have been innovative and daring sailing the world. it is part of the life process to produce offspring. Women have been penalised in the professional spheres for participating in the natural life cycle. The only way we can change the accepted societal norms is to change ourselves and our attitudes about what we can accomplish. . in the centre of medieval Zwolle. I applaud Petra van der Veen’s work for changing the attitude of women and for reaching out to her sisters to help them create the lives that we all desire for our selves and our families. I grew up Dutch. and for making life not only easier but also more beautiful. I have watched incredible females waste their talents because they cared too much what societal norms dictated.

each time it is travelled. the road becomes smoother with pitfalls and potholes being exposed and new ways of smoothing the journey exposed with the experience shared by others.” . can be a “Woman at the Top. Though success rarely comes easily and simply. Even if you know we have a very happy family life. I know that. Librije’s Hotel and Librije’s Zusje. I have lived the process that Petra encourages. However. Whatever level it is for which you aim. which was awarded with its first Michelin star is a hell of a job and requires excellent management skills.Operating De Librije. With this path already paved. I would like some company in the circle of Dutch female business giants. I know the struggles. know that I know you can succeed. She makes the path I trudged much easier to navigate. the hotels restaurant. it is very well possible. with our two children. The level of my success is not what every woman wants. you too. however.

Cheryl Fisher. my husband and children for their patience while I was working on my book. Renate van Dijken. especially my mum for supporting me in taking care of the children when I had to go on seminar. and my parents for always believing in me. Paul Martinelli. every single one of them has a special place in my heart. I would like to thank Bob Proctor for his lifework. Roddy Galbraith. Michael Nicholas.Acknowledgements First. His teachings have inspired me and helped me to get out of my comfort zone and live the life I was meant to live. Joost Oolders. I am very grateful for the whole LifeSuccess family. Brandon Dangerfield. all the LifeSuccess consultants. A special thanks to Thérèse Boer for writing the foreword of this book and for being a great example as a woman who made it to the top! . I have lots of appreciation for Camille Bradstreet for putting words to my ideas and for helping me get this book published in proper English. I would like to acknowledge. Paul Hutsey. Jane Holland. Kelly Martinelli.


Contents Introduction Chapter One: Who Decided What Success Means to You? Chapter Two: Dutch Paradigms – Understanding Why We Think the Way We Do Chapter Three: Did You Make That Up Yourself ? Chapter Four: I Did – So Can You. The Petra Story Chapter Five: What Do You Want? Chapter Six: Business Success? For Me? Chapter Seven: Small Business? Not for Long! Chapter Eight: Making It Happen! The Law of Attraction Chapter Nine: The Expanding Universe: Take Your Mind for a Ride with a Friend Chapter Ten: Getting Dressed for Success – Nice Shoes! References About the Author 13 17 33 49 61 77 91 103 121 135 145 159 161 .


no matter where we are in life. Bruchot haba'ot'. Isten hozta. do not want to remain in just this one place. As women. where you have ever so lightly placed your foot? Where you have yet to go because of the choices and programming of your life? Most of us. Irashaimasu Where are you on your own personal ladder of success? Have you climbed halfway up only to return to the bottom because you thought that is where you must be in order to raise a family or stand behind your spouse or significant other? Are you still halfway up the ladder waiting for someone to help you figure out how to take that next step – perhaps a step that no other woman you know has climbed above? Or maybe you are still holding onto the third rung. we form in our late childhood and early adulthood can limit us or relegate us into an either/or situation. often neglecting ourselves in the process. Welkom. Can money help you do that? Would it be grand? Would you give to charity? Would you change your home? Women today have many options when it comes to success – the first being to define what success means. or negative thought models. Others. there have been women who broke out of the stereotypical roles of their society and time in history to leave their mark. yet the paradigms. Kirzeer. wondering whether you should even shift your weight to the first rung. but we do not always recognise the possibilities and chances for success that are available to us. Bienvenue. Kalos orisate. Merhaba. . Khosh aamadid. Willkumm.Introduction Welcome! Willkomme. Willkommen. as in the case of the abolitionists. Some had political and religious agendas or were working to stop or change some atrocity committed by acts of war. Either we are stay-at-home mums raising children and tending to the needs of our families. we are often told that we can do anything. Success is personal. Throughout history. Times have changed since our mothers and grandmothers reached childbearing or career age. Swaagatam. We get to decide what it is. or we are career women rejecting the idea of raising families. Something can move in our lives and change for the better.

Our lives are totally intertwined in every aspect. you can earn enough on your own to hire help so that you can negotiate a part-time schedule that will allow you to return to your children and not spend more time at the office than at home. edited by Catherine M. From Internetbased businesses to multilevel marketing businesses to traditional retail shops and restaurants. I’ve learned that owning a business is not limited to one specific area. but we would like to find a place for ourselves that combines both career and family. family experience. You can strap that baby to yourself like Sacajawea. and I must say that being my own boss and having the time to enjoy my family is much better than working according to someone else’s schedule. but business deals as well. Or. if you wish.Petra van der Veen worked to change the Western belief that slavery was an institution ordained by God. home-based businesses may include many facets and sources of revenue and can often be combined with more traditional businesses. One needs to stay on top of the ever-growing need for Internet marketing. Edmonson – we find that most of these women left an impression on society while raising families at the same time! So why in the twenty-first century are we wondering how we can combine home and career? It can be done. we have often felt that because we must bear the children. Most of us today are not working to radically change the social setup of the world. I intend to show you how to bring joy and personal satisfaction back into your life while still devoting love and attention to your spouse and children. Along with my corporate and. I have worked both in the corporate business world and in the home-based business arena. rather. with a child by her side. I assure you – you can have it all. too. Principles such as the Law of Attraction will help you face the fears associated with owning a business and will also help you create the life of your dreams in every area. we then can just do only that. I have learned some of the greatest techniques for overcoming the fears and negative programming that have held so many women (and men) back from even beginning the climb up the ladder of success. now. a Native American woman who led explorers through much of the northwestern United States and helped negotiate not only routes. It has been done. Yet how do we do that if we are stuck in a society where the norm is either “Mum” or “Business Woman”? If we look back at the women who’ve changed history – and I’ve included several stories from a book entitled Extraordinary Women: Women Who Changed History. Today’s global economy and rapidly changing technology have opened new doors for everyone to explore opportunities as never before. As women. 14 .

First. Hush kildegez. whether it is physical suffering or simply lacking joy from feeling unfulfilled in your career or in your potential to have a career. I am so glad you have decided to come along. Take a look at where we have come from. set goals. because making the journey with friends is an important part of climbing the ladder of success. Fáilte. and reach them. you can be a Woman at the Top in whichever way you wish. I will give you tips for choosing which businesses might be right for you and how to market your products and services while still allowing you the free time so often missing when one embarks on opening a business. I will give you tips for dressing and for promoting your product. Then learn to overcome your own paradigms or programming and create the life of your dreams. Huan yin. then I want to help you figure out why you have arrived at this point without getting it. how major influences of our history have shaped who we are as a nation today. Finding like-minded supporters and mentors and then becoming a mentor for others are all helpful steps. I want to help you figure out what you want. Benvenuto. No matter what you’ve been told.Women at the Top My intentions for this book are many and complex. Misery may love company. We are meant to be happy. and the right attitude. if you would rather climb the corporate ladder of a larger company. but success is best shared with friends and family. Chaa-phe nang. we will not only explore the past. Then recognise the possibilities before you as a European woman with options and choices. and where it is we have yet to go. Life is good. Hwangyong-hamnida. some of which you may not have considered simply because others have said that your goal or your dream are either not proper or not possible. family. Velkomnar. In the chapters that follow. Wilicom. finding a business situation that is right for you. Welcome to the journey of success. and I will also suggest interviewing techniques. The Woman at the Top need not be alone. Hos geldiniz Chào mung. Isibingelelo 15 . suffering is not the purpose of this life. career. Witamy. Next we will let that go and help you move forward. but I will also give you steps and ideas on how to dream in the present. Zayt vilkum. Yin dee. Come along with me as we explore the paradigms that are particular to Dutch women. You need to make it working according to someone else’s schedule. Bienvenidas. With home. It is a journey that is easiest to make when learning from others and then sharing your new knowledge with others who are also looking to make a change for the better in their lives. I welcome all Women to the Top.


Chapter One: Who Decided What Success Means to You? One by-product of individualism is benevolence – a general attitude of good will towards one’s neighbours and fellow human beings. Benevolence is impossible in a society where people violate each others’ rights. —Glenn Woiceshyn .

the limits placed on women regarding successful outcomes of their choosing are often done so by themselves. why then does this often differ from how we would define a successful man? Even today. therefore. —Michael Korda She could not separate success from peace of mind – the two must go together… —Daphne Du Maurier. but the first step in becoming successful is to figure out what this word means to you. Then. I have listed a few famous quotes about success. and attempted endeavours. even from our own perspective. But what does success mean to you? What would you have to be doing or earning to feel that you are a successful person. see if you can come up with your own definition. while quietly playing by your own. the attainment of wealth. 4. a person or thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk-show platform. is a personal response. by definition. 3. Success. especially in regard to what makes someone a “good woman”. not a destination. Mary Anne 18 . a successful performance or achievement: The seminar was an instant success. a successful woman? Everyone has his or her own opinions. whatever success means to you is determined by your beliefs. and you will get the same number of different answers. desires. It may take some time. 2. We do not all want the same things. —Ben Sweetland The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you’re playing by other people's rules. honours. the favourable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavours. And when we define a successful woman. Success is a journey.Petra van der Veen suc·cess –noun 1. and more specifically. To help illustrate this point. Consider how each statement resonates with you. Ask any number of people to define it. position. or the like.

—Edgar A. Funny Girl Success is knowing what your values are and living in a way that is consistent with your values. —Ingrid Bergman The two leading formulas for success are building a better mousetrap and finding a bigger loophole. William Menninger 19 . wisdom. but all of us don't discover why.Women at the Top All of us are born with a reason. Shoaff Success is something to enjoy – to flaunt! Otherwise why work so hard to get it? —Isobel Lennart. —Danny Cox Success can only be measured in the terms of distance travelled … —Mavis Gallant If at first you don't succeed. It's what you do for others. humility. charity. —Dr. —Danny Thomas I've never sought success in order to get fame and money: it's the talent and the passion that count in success. personal integrity. —Jean Kerr Six essential qualities that are key to success: sincerity. courtesy. you are running about average. Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself.

—W. Personalise it! 20 . —Lloyd Jones The wealthy man is the man who is much. Fields Success only breeds a new goal. not the one who has much. —Robert F. —Bette Davis Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy ideal. many of these “definitions” of success are quite contrary and some are downright funny. Taking on someone else’s “rules” for success may not serve you. This is why it’s so important for you to figure out what success means to you. —Karl Marx Winning isn't everything – it's the only thing. C. Then give up – there's no use being a fool about it. Kennedy If at first you can't succeed try. try again. —Vince Lombardi Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. —Earl Nightingale As you can easily see.Petra van der Veen The people who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.

ladylike. are you happy with this definition of “good”? The world has radically changed for women in the past one hundred years. moral. defined what we see as proper. What had she done? Was she unfaithful. our lives. People and situations have. What I want you to seek out is your own personal identification of what success means to you. In fact. based on the imitation of people we considered “good men” or “good women” when we were children. are they really perfect? And now that you are an adult. yet the “average” woman (and may I add that none of us are really average) still often limits herself to the roles enjoyed (or not) by her mother and grandmother. have difficulty defining success based on their own personal ideas. In 21 . for the most part. It is the influence of family members that shapes who we are in early childhood. or worthy – and success is one of those ideas that is defined by our perception. If you think about your childhood. including men.Women at the Top Write your own definition of success: Your definition: Your name: Overcoming Paradigms We were all raised with ideas that have greatly influenced our thinking about ourselves. a drunk. Definitions usually include social norms or acceptable notions of wants and obligations in order to be seen as successful by others. Women now hold positions of power in most of the Western world. we often develop ideas about most issues in life. many people. which are represented by letters. We learn to read by imitating sounds taught to us. In the same way. whether success or failure. you may remember family secrets or neighbourhood gossip of the lady who was “bad”. Many of our ideas about success come from our families. or a floozy? Or did she simply step out of her assigned social role and do something radical like remain single without entering the nunnery in a predominantly Catholic town? And what about the “good woman”? What qualities did she possess? Was she a mother who took excessive pride in her immaculate home and “perfect” children? Now that her children are grown. and what we are supposed to want to have.

Stepping outside social norms dictated by Calvinist congregations may indicate that one is outside the “elect”. and led the religious education and practices of the family. Jacobs was the eighth child of a Jewish doctor. but was also instrumental in the women’s suffrage movement in The Netherlands. As it has in The Netherlands. hobbies. Yet most Western societies. in The Netherlands. Granted. or chosen ones of God. By the turn of the twentieth century. families. another area that often influenced our ideas of what makes someone a “good”. Calvinist women were relegated to the home and Bible instruction. She was then allowed admission to study at 22 . even within the family. The Industrial Revolution saw a massive number of women take employment outside the home. woman. women have and have had the right to vote and work outside the home. but a famous Jewish-Dutch woman named Aletta Jacobs not only obtained the education and certification to practice medicine. Women stayed home and reared children. At that time. kept a house and a garden. German. or was desire taught to you as something that is bad and to be avoided? Were you taught that to want material goods and fancy things is indicative of a shallow or superficial human being? Or were you raised to have only one want – that of raising a family and remaining mistress of the home. and Latin. ladies around the globe combine careers. Born in 1854. Going against the patriarchal setup and taking on too much power or authority. however. but is that true for you? Were the expectations placed on you from your earliest childhood those that encouraged you to seek out all of the elements in life that you desire. and charity to lead fulfilling lives that others only dream of. women still did not have the right to vote. which she found to be awful. Roles for women have historically been stable. such as sewing and weaving. Her formal education was comprised of the local village school in Sappemeer and a brief stint at the “ladies’ school”. Her parents instructed her at home in French. and “succeed”. proudly proclaim that issues of women’s rights are a thing of the past. women were still assigned “women’s work”. Greek. the church or religious affiliation of the family often defined the image of a woman in most societies.Petra van der Veen the meantime. ergo successful. at least outwardly. which qualified her to study to become a pharmacist’s assistant. may indicate that a woman is less than “good”. hold positions of political power and influence. foregoing your interests and desires until your job as mother and homemaker is past? But then what? There have been times in Dutch history in which women were required or forced to work to support themselves and their families.

which coincidentally was the same period during which many European and American women were petitioning their governments for the right to vote. limit our ideas of success based upon what we have been taught makes us successful.” The external pressures of a patriarchal family setup often influence that. community. oftentimes. one year prior to the women of Canada and the United States. take some inspiration from Dr. Jacobs. I often hear “I cannot work until the children are in school …” or “finished with school” or “grown” or a slew of other excuses about why a woman cannot add interest and income into her life at the moment. This was no easy task for Jacobs. as she was admitted for only one year. But we are behind much of the Western world in this thinking. this privilege was granted with the right to stand for election in 1917 and the right to vote in 1919. with effort and 23 . Jacobs’s story. but her persistent efforts gained her permanent enrolment and she went on to receive a medical doctorate on March 8. The constraints of one’s external world seem too tightly bound in order to escape at all. I find it interesting that in a country that proudly proclaims a few generations of female monarchs.org. or a café with Internet access – women do not need to leave their homes permanently to hold full-time jobs. would like some other paths in their lives in addition to family. a formal office. and religious affiliation. getting an education. and we each want different things. As you can see. women still suffer from the internal mentality of “I cannot because I am a woman. Immigrant workers and contract employees from other nations are taking over the Dutch workforce.alettajacobs. but then what do we do with our schooling? I am by no means trying to communicate that one should not want to be a stay-at-home mother. For more information on Dr. Brave women worldwide took on the men in order to gain power in government. Home-based businesses are one of the fastest growing fields in countries all over the world. With the global economy and the ease of conducting business anywhere – albeit at home. Aletta Jacobs saw that professors and students were actively and openly sabotaging women’s attempts to study medicine in London. there are some paths you do not have to pave. The first step was indeed simply to be allowed to have a voice in the process. You can now. Opportunities are arising almost daily. 1879. if that is your idea of fulfilment. In The Netherlands. She visited London during this time. We have no problem. visit www. In addition to career aspirations.Women at the Top Groningen University. however. as Dutch ladies. You do need not to simply chase money. She paved the way for many of us. Each of us defines success differently. as Dutch women. If you picked up this book with the mindset that there are too many reasons as to why you cannot be successful. because we. Many women.

women do not risk assassination. Ladies. The details in Jones’s article are quite shocking. what I would like to tell you right now is that you can have it all. Indira Gandhi was the first female in India to hold a position of political power. many of the women and girls in these societies view suicide as the only way to escape beatings. or lack thereof. do they not? Women in countries such as Afghanistan and Pakistan. too. and they make the plight of Dutch women seem quite easy. Many women in other countries have experienced much more dire circumstances than most Dutch women. The BBC carried her obituary. 2007. if their families refuse to kill them. was assassinated or is thought to have been the target of a suicide bomber. Gandhi was assassinated for her position in 1984 by her own bodyguards. These women are subjected to cruelty and frequently sold into slavery or prostitution. then the entire family is at risk of death. Those who try to escape are subject to death. Suicides become known only if the woman sets herself on fire in a public place. Very recently. and they are often married off as young as eight or nine years of age. Some of these women gave their lives. As you sift through your list of why you cannot have the life you desire. which remain rigidly controlled by religious fundamentalists. by cultural norms. a former female political leader in Pakistan. 24 . in an article for Salon. According to Jones. find a career that meshes well with your notion of the ideal home life. let’s take a look at the role of women in some cultures that really do present obstacles for females. women and girls are used as forms of payment for indebtedness or to appease offenses. Unfortunately. For this reason. In some ethnic groups. and. Otherwise suicides go unreported because they bring dishonour to the family. continue to try to break free of the paradigms or constraints placed upon them by their own governments and. and the following excerpt paints a picture of how difficult life can be for ambitious women in other countries. sexual abuse. and forced marriage. The core of Jones’s article described the restrictions that many women in the Middle East suffer and how they are virtual slaves to the whims of their male-dominated culture.com dated February 6. Benazir Bhutto. Journalist Ann Jones reported on women’s rights in Afghanistan. including those who have risen to the height of power. women and girls in these countries are treated as the property of men. oftentimes. In The Netherlands.Petra van der Veen guidance.

Young and glamorous.Women at the Top Benazir Bhutto followed her father into politics. Ms Bhutto gained credibility from her father's high profile. Like the Nehru-Gandhi family in India. and both of them died because of it – he was executed in 1979. She was twice prime minister of Pakistan. from 1988 to 1990. At the height of her popularity – shortly after her first election – she was one of the most high-profile women leaders in the world. His government was one of the few in the thirty years following independence that was not run by the army. The dismissals typified her volatile political career. Zulfikar Ali Bhutto. even though she was a reluctant convert to politics. she fell victim to an apparent suicide bomb attack. following a military coup. Stubbornness On both occasions she was dismissed from office by the president for alleged corruption. 25 . But after her second fall from power. Her two brothers also suffered violent deaths. was prime minister of Pakistan in the early 1970s. Two years later he was executed after a much criticised trial on charges of conspiring to murder a political opponent. which was characterised by numerous peaks and troughs. the Bhuttos of Pakistan are one of the world’s most famous political dynasties. and from 1993 to 1996. Benazir’s father. Born in 1953 in the province of Sindh and educated at Harvard and Oxford. The determination and stubbornness for which Ms Bhutto was renowned was first seen after her father was imprisoned by Gen Zia ul-Haq in 1977. her name came to be seen by some as synonymous with corruption and bad governance. she successfully portrayed herself as a refreshing contrast to the overwhelmingly maledominated political establishment.

Pierre was killed in an accident in 1906. She was an accomplished playwright who wrote “The Declaration of the Rights of Woman” in 1791. Pierre. This document was a response to the new French constitution published earlier that same year. and sex. war tends to facilitate extreme needs for a country. but today’s French female population 26 . Marie Curie made her way to Paris in 1891 in order to study science. the French even had a women’s corps within their military. women had a voice in French politics thanks to the bravado of women like Olympe de Gouges. when she appeared in front of the National Assembly to propose a radical reform program. begun in 1789. Olympe de Gouges had made a name for herself as early as October 1789. She described the conditions as extremely hard.” but that’s not my point. In World War II. a state alternative to the private dowry system. wide job opportunities for women. social class. She stated the necessity of full legal equality of the sexes. The polar opposite of the plight of women in much of the Middle East is that of French women. and Marie continued the scientific work by herself. many of you may say. who is reported by many historians to have been the most outstanding individual of the women’s movement of the French Revolution. that she met Pierre. and the creation of a national theatre where only plays by women could be performed. Both of them worked together to isolate radium and polonium. in the field of radioactivity. “The Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen”. a great female scientist in who lived between 1867 and 1934 and achieved notoriety for the groundbreaking work she did with her husband.Petra van der Veen Ms Bhutto was imprisoned just before her father's death and spent most of her five-year jail term in solitary confinement. which divided the population into “active” and “passive” citizenry according to wealth. Now. What I would like you to consider is that our neighbours in France overcame this mindset over two hundred years ago. She was awarded a second Nobel Prize for making a small amount of the pure form of radium versus the compound she had isolated with Pierre. During the French Revolution. “I have no inclination to enlist in the military. where she was a laboratory assistant. schooling for girls. In 1903 the Curies were awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics. Born in Poland. What a brave woman! Within a century. She was the first French woman to achieve the high academic honour of becoming a physics professor at the Sorbonne. It was in the famous Sorbonne. Granted. which were unknown radioactive elements. France produced Marie Curie.

This information is exciting. It is time to get the girls in the game. A recent article in the Daily Mail reported on this phenomenon of women not only attaining power. Creativity takes time and silent space. For centuries. The Top Ten Secrets of Creatively Successful Women 1. Powerful women in Britain are rising in record numbers as well. The realms of politics and finance are no longer boys-only playgrounds. Forbes magazine recently rated Parisian Liliane Bettencourt of L’Oréal cosmetics to be the thirty-ninth richest woman in the world – and the wealthiest person in France! Women not only work. I will close this chapter with a list of secrets of successful women.Women at the Top has no problem combining career and family. a report has revealed. they also rise to the top of the political and economic ladder without considering that their gender may even mildly hinder them. but also attaining great wealth: The number of women who are millionaires in Britain is growing faster than the number of men. Finding what you are passionate about is not easy. You can schedule time every day or a couple of days a week.000 men. Nearly 70. Margaret Thatcher was prime minister of Great Britain for eleven years from 1979–90 and also the leader of Britain’s Conservative Party from 1975– 90. compared to more than 100. so ponder these ten ideas as you read along and create the life of your dreams. women all around us have been achieving and reaching levels of greatness in what used to be a male-dominated world. and make a commitment to yourself to keep it. 27 . It charts the rapid rise of a new breed of rich women with bank balances as long as international telephone numbers.000 women in The Netherlands are now worth at least €1 million. She has been the only female to hold either position. nor do our women friends in Great Britain. Each of us who has creative talents needs to stake out some quiet time or “silent space” on a regular basis. As we begin the journey to the top. View this as an appointment. creativity in finding your path and passion for your new career(s) will be essential.

Yes.Petra van der Veen 2. and saying no. In one study of women and creativity. friends. This may mean speaking with friends. 6. Cheryle Lackie said. you might improve it 100 to 400 percent or more!” This statement encourages us all to focus on our strengths and build upon them to attain the largest gains. choose like minds and train them to be honest. When we honour this period. however. planting. 28 . consider yourself lucky. Select mentors. and children about feeling connected and nurtured during this process. you might improve that area 20 percent. It may mean having a messy house. 3. We are not always in the harvesting phase.” To paraphrase this statement from Oprah Winfrey. carefully select the people you invite to be on your creative team. “I say no to many things. Set strong boundaries. there are also creative cycles. and dream partners wisely. yet unconditionally constructive. lovers. “If you were to spend 80 percent of your effort to become good at a weakness. When it comes to working creatively. Work from your strengths. But if you were to spend that same 80 percent of your effort to improve an area of strength. still be friends with lots of people. the biggest fear was losing or weakening relationships.” Other people can stop your project or idea before you even act on it. we need strong boundaries so that we have energy and time for our creations. we complete the cycle and move into the planting and harvesting phases. I will paraphrase this quotation from Helen Gurley Brown: “Don’t expect anyone to be happy for your success or big dreams. We still need to be connected. and harvesting. Many women feel guilty when they take the time to engage in their projects. not overcommitting. We do go through the dormant cycles of winter when it feels as though nothing is happening. If you have a loved one and a friend or two who are happy for you. There are cycles of creativity. 4. so that I may say yes to what gives me life. Just as there are seasons in a year and cycles in preparing. waiting. nurturing. So. 5. Commit to yourself.

you will rarely try something new. Yes. 10. always stay positive about your performance. This is because you can’t do it perfectly the first few times. You can pause. Yes. When you have to do something perfectly. We are always in a higher state of emotional arousal when we try something new. Expect it. 8. Unless you have a high-risk. you will experience fear when you venture into unfamiliar territory. Make friends with fear. but you don’t have to constantly find fault with yourself in order to improve. you can polish it and improve. Finally. creativity is about play. and move on. have fun. Stop criticising yourself. however. but don’t hold on to it until it's perfect. it'll probably be outdated. redefine it as performance energy. do not let the fear stop you! In her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Susan Jeffers wrote that the only way to lessen the fear is to do the thing we are afraid of. Fear is a companion of creativity. you know you’ve found your highest creative expression.Women at the Top 7. feel joyful. thrill-seeking personality. Get over perfectionism. and slow down for a moment. Play. 9. By the time it's perfect. When you try something new. When you lose track of time and have boundless energy doing the thing you love. We can defeat ourselves before we start by constantly feeling that we come up short. Make the best of yourself. —Ralph Waldo Emerson 29 . for that is all there is of you. do great work. look at your feelings. and flow. and get in the flow. fun.

However. why do we lag behind other countries when it comes to women in the workplace or Women at the Top? Scientists tell us that The Netherlands have been occupied since the last Ice Age. “international trade”. This act set the world ablaze with change and paved the way for theological departure from the Church in Rome.Petra van der Veen One need not look far to determine the roots or foundations for our cultural and religious paradigms. For the sake of space. with no other choices until Martin Luther nailed his famous Ninety-Five Theses to the church door in Wittenberg. or as subjects of the Holy Roman Empire. 30 . Germany. the Dutch identified themselves by the town they lived in. moved into what is now the southern part of The Netherlands and also into Belgium. by building canoes and travelling as early as 6000 BC. in 1517. some parts of present-day Netherlands became part of the Holy Roman Empire. Let’s not forget the Beaker Culture. many other ethnic groups. once those in the north conquered Friesland. most of what is now The Netherlands and Belgium was eventually united by the Duke of Burgundy in 1433. Catholicism would be the rule. Between AD 800 and 1000 the Vikings frequently raided and occupied our country before German King Henry finally liberated it by reclaiming Utrecht. and archaeological excavations show human settlements and camps dating back to 8000 BC! Our ancestors even began their overseas travel ergo. especially the Franks. We have always been industrious people who saw market trends and the ability to capitalise on them. with the emperor subject only to the Pope. their local duchy or county. During this time. It is blatantly obvious that we develop patterns of thinking and behaviour from what we’re taught is “right or wrong” from a theological perspective. For a culture that has had a stable ethnic group occupying its lands for over ten thousand years. Before this union. Under the Duke of Burgundy. but much of our social paradigms also come from the culture that develops around the predominant religious system of an area. Also. they were also encouraged to follow Jesus. With the coronation of Otto the Great. I will need to fast forward several thousand years to the point of our history where we were under Roman occupation. In the fifth century AD. Frankish King Clovis converted to Christianity and highly suggested this belief system to his subjects. which is often attributed with creating the drinking and storage vessels that made the sale and trade of beer possible throughout Europe as early as 3000 BC. people of this area began to form nationalist ideas. though. Early Netherlanders led early Europeans in the world of finance and trade.

northern France. the countess of Holland (we had a woman in power six hundred years ago!) was deposed in favour of the dukes of Burgundy. It imposed social and ethical roles on the people of Geneva in the 1540s that are seen by much of the Western world today as cultlike. Switzerland. These soldiers were a great menace to the Burgundian Netherlands. Amsterdam distributed grain to the major cities of Belgium. this trade was vital to the people of Holland. Holland’s trade developed rapidly. The city of Amsterdam grew and in the fifteenth century became the primary trading port in Europe for grain from the Baltic region. After a few years of conflict. while Flanders had grown rich and enjoyed peace.Women at the Top The conquest of the county of Holland by Duke Philip the Good of Burgundy was an odd affair. even though he had no historical claim to it. and political change. They tried to build up their own state in northeast Netherlands and northwest Germany. The sixteenth century was one of great religious. The citizens of Gelre resented Burgundian rule. Gelre had its soldiers provide for themselves by pillaging enemy terrain. The new rulers defended Dutch trading interests. Europe had been wracked by many civil wars in the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries. especially in the area of shipping and transport. Yet Calvin gave people something the Catholic Church withheld or interfered with: a personal relationship with God based on Scripture and the idea of predestination – one is either in the elect or in the reprobate. and public behaviour was strictly controlled and monitored. One notorious event was the pillaging of The Hague. Early Calvinists would be subject to trial and penalties for simply missing Sunday services. and England. Some historians say that the ruling class in Holland wanted to integrate with the Flemish economic system and adopt Flemish legal institutions. the government based on his ideas radically departed from those of the flamboyant Roman Catholic Church of the day. Though this gave people a religious option. 31 . Because the region could no longer produce enough grain to feed itself. Never was it so apparent as when John Calvin initially established a theocracy in the city of Geneva. Lacking funds in the sixteenth century. It is said that leading nobles in Holland invited the duke to conquer it. social.


—Denzel Washington . And fail big.Chapter Two: Dutch Paradigms – Understanding Why We Think the Way We Do Do what you have to do. so that you can do what you want to do.

The disorders continued. On February 16. However he did lose all his lands and titles in The Netherlands and was branded an outlaw. On Assumption of the Virgin day in 1566 a small incident outside Antwerp cathedral started a massive riot by Calvinists. which they felt were heretical. was born in Ghent in 1500. Philip II sent the Duke of Alva. and as a counter measure. He abdicated in 1555. who survived as he had fled to the lands ruled by his wife's father – the Elector Count of Saxony. the counts of Egmont and Horne were arrested and decapitated on the Grand Place of Brussels. Holy Roman Emperor. They were sentenced for their part leading to the relaxation of the heresy laws letting the Calvinists gather for the day the revolt started. angering their compatriot William I of Orange. I’ve included an excerpt as follows: Charles V.Petra van der Veen The Eighty Years’ War or the Revolt of The Netherlands 1568–1648 The Eighty Years’ War was the revolt of the Seventeen Provinces in the Low Countries against the Spanish (Habsburg) Empire. There were several underlying causes for the war but the condemnation of the entire population to death in 1568 on the part of the Holy See and confirmed by the king was a significant one. nicknamed the Iron Duke. who stormed the churches to destroy statues and images of Catholic saints. Soon after Alva arrived. in favour of his son Philip II of Spain who was mainly interested in the Spanish side of the empire. to The Netherlands with an army. The Habsburgs were devoutly Catholic and not at all tolerant of emerging Protestant ideas throughout Europe. An excellent history of this bloody era is told by John Lothrop Motley in The Rise of the Dutch Republic. and raised in the County of Flanders. Calvinism had been becoming prevalent in The Netherlands. 1568 a sentence of the Holy Office condemned all the inhabitants of The 34 .

a charge levied only by the Roman Catholic Church and carried out by secular authorities! As we look back at history. dated ten days later confirmed this decree of the Inquisition and ordered it to be carried out into instant execution without regard to age. the rebels captured Brielle and the rebellion resurged. sex. as mentioned previously. and children. staunch Catholics would have viewed the rebel Calvinists as heretics who dared counter God’s chosen representatives on Earth – the established Church in Rome. Persecution in the name of God is expressed often in the Bible. and cultural growth.Women at the Top Netherlands to death as heretics. the United Provinces of The Netherlands. Spain was initially successful in suppressing the rebellion at the expense of the execution of three million citizens. Yet on the flip side of the argument. the Holy Roman Emperor. and children were executed as heretics. was raised in Ghent and began his reign at the tender age of nineteen. Why? Is killing in the name of God sanctioned? It’s no wonder that the citizens of the southern parts of The Netherlands held on to their Calvinistic beliefs. In 1572. rapidly grew to become a world power through its merchant shipping. we again saw our ancestors leading the world in finance and intellectual pursuits. As it experienced a period of economic. women. As Lothrop tells us. first de facto and then in 1648 de jure. and its servant. eight years before his abdication from the throne. He obtained all of the Low Countries through inheritance and conquest and then blended this land into one state and ruled it with the rest of the Habsburg Dynasty in the sixteenth century during the height of the Protestant Reformation. we see a religious institution waging genocide on its own population. During the revolt. especially named. scientific. yet we do not see the world expressing horror and outrage as it did in the wake of Hitler’s Holocaust. Charles V granted the Seventeen Provinces of The Netherlands status as an entity separate from both 35 . From this universal doom only a few persons. men. In 1548. however. The young Holy Roman Emperor Charles V. Perhaps the Dutch Calvinists condemned by the Inquisition saw this act as indicative of their favour in the eyes of God. A proclamation of the king. This is the most concise death warrant that had ever been framed. women and children – were sentenced to the scaffold. were acquitted. better known as the Dutch Republic. The northern provinces became independent. They were able to escape the horrors of the profane world for the glory of God in heaven. led by the Pope. Three million people – men.

Charles was voluntarily succeeded by his son Philip II of Spain. Unlike his father. with the exception of Flanders. Our first monarch. in extreme cases. The Dutch countered subsequent sieges in Holland. also known as the United Provinces. he had lived there for only four years and was seen as disinterested by the local nobility. Philip’s attempts to enforce religious persecution of the Protestants and his endeavours to centralise government. However. was born at Slot Dillenburg on April 24. especially. 1533. Philip had little personal attachment to the Low Countries. and was the formal declaration of independence of the northern Low Countries from the Spanish king. and died on July 10. the idea that salvation was something that could be won or. Most of the territory in The Netherlands was recaptured. Dutch citizens have paved the way for radical changes in society. and taxes made him unpopular and led to a revolt. justice. Christians who rejected Rome’s authority and. It was not full independence. The very first years were actually a success for the Spanish troops. but it allowed significant autonomy. 1581. killing ten thousand inhabitants who were supported by the conservative Catholics in the south and east.Petra van der Veen the Empire and from France with the Transaction of Augsburg. As you can see. As a devout Catholic. the events leading to this period of struggle were many fold. You may remember that seven rebellious provinces united in the Union of Utrecht in 1579 and formed the Republic of the Seven United Netherlands. Many Flemish citizens fled to Holland. William of Orange. We are all familiar with this period in history since we are taught about it in our early schooling. 75 per cent of the towns of Brugge 36 . or Plakkaat van Verlatinghe. As a nation. the most radical anti-Spanish territory. This historic movement led to an increasing number of Calvinists. The Pragmatic Sanction of 1549 stated that the Seventeen Provinces could be passed on to subsequent regimes only as a unified entity. we are not afraid to take action. among them half of the population of Antwerp. The Spanish king lost control of The Netherlands after mutinous Spanish soldiers sacked Antwerp. The Oath of Abjuration. was signed on July 26. leading to the historical split between The Netherlands and Flanders. 1584. so why would Dutch women be any different today when contemplating success? But back to our history … The Dutch fought for independence from Spain. The Spanish recaptured Antwerp and other Flemish and Dutch cities. however. Philip was appalled by the success of the Reformation in the Low Countries. bought with money paid to the Catholic Church for plenary indulgences. leading to the Eighty Years’ War (1568–1648). He was the founder of the Dutch royal family and led the Dutch during the first part of the war.

rather than by a king. better known now as New York. and the entire population of Nieuwpoort. the Dutch conquered some Portuguese colonies. 1648. Dutch ships sailed the entire globe. From the conception of the Republic. at the head of each province was the stadtholder. In addition to these holdings. and the corresponding countryside. was born eight days later. It is not the last time in our country’s great history that we would see Europeans taking refuge here. so foreign countries came to know the republic of the Seven Provinces as Holland. with its representatives from all the provinces. the archipelago at the northernmost border of Norway. the later stadtholder and subsequent king of England. the Dutch provinces replaced Flanders as the most important trading centres of Northern Europe. The Peace of Westphalia. People formed a national identity from the province they lived in. namely those in northeastern Brazil. However. and founding colonies in New Amsterdam. the stadtholder William II. hunting whales off Svalbard. Dunkerque. In 1650. Every city and province had its own government and laws and was largely autonomous. This economic success is what historian Simon Schama calls an “embarrassment of riches”. but the main fighting was over. would decide on matters important to the Republic as a whole. confirmed the independence of the United Provinces from Spain and Germany. leaving the nation without an heir apparent. Prince of Orange died suddenly of smallpox. Indonesia. a position held by a descendant of the House of Orange. it was largely governed by an aristocracy of city-merchants called the regents. The Estates-General. The Dutch had not regarded themselves as Germans since the fifteenth century. his son. The war dragged on for another sixty years. signed on January 30. William III. Though The Netherlands was a republic during the the Golden Age. Often a single man held the stadtholdership of several provinces. an ongoing struggle for power raged between 37 . Attempts to find a competent sovereign proved unsuccessful. and Ceylon. but we officially remained part of the Holy Roman Empire until 1648. trading spices in India and Indonesia via the Dutch East India Company. Holland was the most influential province by far. Angola. The Golden Age During the Eighty Years’ War. South Africa.Women at the Top and Ghent. Our new nation flourished culturally and economically. which were the governing bodies of the provinces. and the West Indies. and it was decided that sovereignty would be vested in the various provincial estates. treacherously located close to the North Pole.

nations. Though not a part of our history we wish to reproduce. along with several other British women. Though many people worldwide spoke out against the slave trade. The Ten Commandments. were often enslaved. part of the Dutch wealth of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries came through the slave trade. The Navigation Act was left in place. Interestingly. The Dutch Republic of the United Provinces was a true republic only from 1650–72 and 1702–48. and the House of Orange. England imposed its first Navigation Act. Princes of Orange became the stadtholder and an almost hereditary ruler in 1672 and 1748. a brilliant politician and diplomat. listed in the Book of Exodus. including the ideas of Thomas Paine. makes mention of not coveting thy neighbour’s slave. whose supporters. Her father. were found mostly among the common people. and governments around the world supported and participated in the slave trade. John Coltman. In 1619. a group that was considered extremely tolerant of various religious views. These periods are called the First and Second Stadtholderless Eras. England. Johan de Witt. it is interesting to note that those who did were often marginalised themselves.Petra van der Veen the regents. justification for the enslavement of human beings often came from religious teachings. Christian communities. the informal elite of affluent citizens. and anyone even vaguely familiar with Old Testament Scripture knows that even God’s chosen. a position surpassed by Britain around 1700. especially for the eighteenth century. A young widow. the Dutch have been industrious and innovative merchants and financial geniuses throughout history. As a young woman. Africans were seen as subhuman. the Israelites. is well known for her published works against slavery. In 1651. As the European slave capital. which severely hurt Dutch trade. an American Revolutionary who was imprisoned in France for his outspoken views on human rights. Heyrick was introduced to her father’s progressive political views. Ergo. known as Orangists. which began in 1652 and ended with the Treaty of Westminster in1654. An incident at sea concerning the act resulted in the First AngloDutch War. The regents seized the opportunity: there would be no new stadtholder in Holland for twenty-two years. Sadly. Each ship could transport hundreds of humans crowded mercilessly into the cargo holds. 38 . the Dutch started the slave trade between Africa and America and by 1650 was the preeminent slave-trading country in Europe. the port city of Amsterdam helped manage the slave trade of neighbouring nations with as many as ten thousand slaving vessels associated with the port. Elizabeth Heyrick was born Elizabeth Coltman in 1769 in Leicester. was a successful worsted manufacturer and a committed Unitarian. emerged as the dominant figure.

An Anglo-French attempt to land on the Dutch shore was barely repelled in three desperate naval battles under the command of Admiral Michiel de Ruyter. and with the help of Lucy Townsend. William III. In beginning the Third Anglo-Dutch War. and Cologne. also known as Quakers. Later the group changed its name to the Female Society for Birmingham. it followed hundreds of years of abuses against humans in Europe and the entire world. She organised a sugar boycott in Leicester. This was a very brave endeavour indeed for anyone. The advance of French troops from the south could be halted only by a costly sacrifice of the Dutch’s own heartland – by the breaching of the river dykes. Elizabeth married John Heyrick. who had maintained a diplomatic balancing act for a long time. a Methodist lawyer. and Münster invaded the Republic. Mary Lloyd. Imagine how this action would upset the economy alone. In it Heyrick argued fervently in favour of the immediate emancipation of the slaves in the British colonies. Heyrick moved back into her parents’ home and became a member of the Society of Friends. all of which had signed alliances against the Republic. and was followed by France. but especially for a woman. With the aid of a friendly German princes. A coalition made up of troops from France. Heyrick’s main concern was the campaign against slavery. Elizabeth Heyrick published her pamphlet “Immediate not Gradual Abolition”. was appointed. In 1824. After his death. which believed in gradual abolition that allowed for the grandfathering in of existing slaves who were treated as property and assets of the owner. and Sophia Sturge. She renounced all worldly pleasures and devoted herself to social reform. the Dutch succeeded in fighting back the armies of Cologne and Münster. The Disastrous Year The year 1672 is known in The Netherlands as the Disastrous Year. although some territory in the east was lost forever. England declared war on the Republic. The Dutch also signed a 39 .Women at the Top In 1787. became the obvious scapegoats for failing to protect the citizens of The Netherlands. or Rampjaar. They were lynched and a new stadtholder. formed the Birmingham Ladies Society for the Relief of Negro Slaves. She was still childless when her husband died of a heart attack eight years later. Münster. As you will see. Heyrick’s argument differed from the official policy of the Anti-Slavery Society. Sarah Wedgwood. Cologne. A peace treaty was signed with both. Johan de Witt and his brother Cornelius.

the Dutch have made friends. British. temporarily. who were to become symbols for the founding of the United States. It also invaded French territory before the alliance collapsed in 1713 due to British political infighting. Like humans throughout history. but in Amsterdam work was readily available. In 1678. 40 . Tolerance was important because a continuous influx of immigrants was necessary to maintain the economy. Amsterdam was nearly 50 per cent first-generation immigrants in these two centuries. William was the commander of the Dutch and English armies and fleets until his death in 1702. The Dutch economy stagnated from the end of the seventeenth century until the end of the eighteenth century. The Netherlands also sheltered many famous refugees. and mercenary army conquered Flanders and Brabant. grown economically. The joint effort continued after his death. the founder of modern philosophy. During William’s reign as King of England. Though we do not want to repeat wars and the slave trade. A surge of immigrants flooded the cities of Holland in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. the relations with England reached crisis level once again. In 1688. lost its position to London. James’s eldest daughter. the Catholic monarch James II of England. French Protestants (Huguenots). after three Anglo-Dutch Wars. Stadtholder William III decided to invade England when he was essentially invited to do so by Protestant British nobles feuding with William’s father-in-law. known as the Second Treaty of Westminster. Travellers were surprised at the lack of police harassment in Amsterdam. lost friends. the Pilgrim Fathers. This manoeuvre secured England as a critical ally of the United Provinces in its ongoing wars with Louis XIV of France. as the combined Dutch. although the event caused tension with its Spanish and German allies. and. René Descartes. we can see that making friends and sharing our resourcefulness and new ideas can bring about great abundance. once a central financial publishing market in Europe. This led to the Glorious Revolution and solidified the principle of parliamentary rule and Protestant ascendancy to the throne and power in England. James fled to France and William ruled as co-monarch with his wife Mary. Amsterdam. People in most parts of Europe were very poor and unemployment was rampant. We can look at our history and glean what will serve us in our future successes. and suffered. Portuguese and German Jews. In fact. We see that perseverance is a trait inherent to us. the Dutch made peace with France through the Treaty of Nijmegen. including Flemish Protestants.Petra van der Veen treaty with England in 1674. his primary focus was leveraging British manpower and finances to aid the Dutch against the French. and The Netherlands slowly lost its position as the trading centre of Northern Europe. especially from Protestant areas of Germany.

speeches. and on the throne of this new kingdom put his brother Louis (Lodewijk) Bonaparte.” Braudel also sees the Batavian Revolution as a predecessor to the French Revolution. backed by British policy and might. the manifesto published by Joan van der Capellen tot den Pol. rumours. it is not surprising that when the French army invaded and occupied The Netherlands in 1795. a symbol of loyalty to the House of Orange. In this historical setting. into the Kingdom of Holland. But the House of Orange. along with a small part of what is now Germany. bitter enmities and armed confrontations. In 1785. especially economically. the British declared war against us. as Napoleon didn’t appreciate his brother’s attempts to put Dutch interests before those of the French. with the constant slogan “vrijheid”. and the Patriots. who were influenced by the American and French Revolutions and wanted a more democratic form of government. called upon their Prussian relatives to suppress the uprising. but government was soon returned to a more stable form. the Patriots rebelled in an armed insurrection of local militias determined to defend municipal democracies in certain Dutch towns. they encountered very little resistance. accidents. The Orangist reaction was severe: no one dared appear in public without an orange cockade.Women at the Top The Nineteenth Century The end of the eighteenth century saw growing unrest in The Netherlands with conflict between the Orangists. Many Patriots fled the country to Brabant or France. and the old burgomasters were replaced by a small. The opening shot of the Batavian Revolution might be considered Aan het Volk van Nederland (To the people of The Netherlands). this arrangement didn’t last long. In 1806 Napoleon restyled The Netherlands. When The Netherlands became the second nation to recognise U.S. 41 . Public lynchings took place. The Fourth Anglo-Dutch War (1780–84) was a disaster for The Netherlands. the founder of the Patriots in 1781. Some estimates place the exodus at forty thousand citizens. The French occupation of The Netherlands ended in 1813 after Napoleon was defeated largely by the dethroned William VI of Orange. independence from Great Britain. Napoleon soon incorporated The Netherlands into the French Empire. William V of Orange fled to England and the Patriots proclaimed the short-lived Batavian Republic. who wanted stadtholder William V of Orange to hold more power. Historian Fernand Braudel comments on this war: “Seen as a whole this revolution is a string of violent and confused events. However. unpaid Prussian army that took sustenance by looting and extortion.

very little of our history reports on the powerful female figures of those events. Other colonies. During the French occupation of The Netherlands. The Netherlands were put back on the European map. which changed hands several times. Dutch women were intimately involved yet received little or no credit historically. So is it any wonder that today we have a population of educated women who do not step outside the social norms of family and home? Men may have reported on the events that have shaped our country. economic. The primary factors contributing to this feeling were religious. Monarchy After the Napoleonic era. The French-speaking ruling elite in the southern Netherlands soon felt ostracised. the northern and southern area of The Netherlands became a united sovereign state for the first time in 1815. 1813. the Prince of Orange. This name was replaced by the United Kingdom of The Netherlands in 1815. The Cape Colony. with the French-speaking south 42 . Vereenigde Nederlanden. Guyana and Ceylon never returned to Dutch rule. with two capitals: Amsterdam and Brussels. since the south was industrialising and the north had always been a trading capital. including what is today Indonesia. as King William I. with the south remaining predominantly Roman Catholic and the north remaining mostly Protestant. In addition.Petra van der Veen On November 30. also remained British after 1806. A compromise was struck with the United Kingdom at the Congress of Vienna. The Russian tsar wanted The Netherlands to resume this role and also wanted the Dutch colonies returned to the country. Though much of Dutch history revolves around war and religion. William V. This ended the Dutch colonial empire. The country had always been part of the precarious balance of power that kept France in check. after William VI led the unification of the northern Netherlands with the Austrian Netherlands. the House of Orange signed a treaty with the English in which it gave Dutch colonies “in safekeeping” and ordered the colonial governors to surrender to the British. King William I became hereditary Grand Duke of Luxembourg. but it is highly likely that behind the scenes of many transactions involving politics and economics. where the Dutch East Indies were returned. were returned to The Netherlands under the Anglo-Dutch Treaty of 1814. and linguistic. The country was established as a monarchy. In addition. William VI of Orange landed in Scheveningen and was proclaimed the Sovereign Prince of the United Netherlands. with the son of the last stadtholder.

That same year William II asked Johan Rudolf Thorbecke to rewrite the Constitution. only men with high incomes were eligible to vote until 1918. The relationship between monarch. In 1830 the situation burst. In 1848.Women at the Top not just in Wallonia. but also extending to the French-speaking bourgeoisie in the Flemish cities. one year before American women earned this same privilege. but it was forced to retreat after only a few days when the French army was mobilised. The Depression led to large unemployment and poverty. died. ladies? Twentieth Century Although its army mobilised at the outset of World War I in August 1914. The Netherlands remained a neutral country. The rise of Nazism in Germany was felt largely 43 . The union between The Netherlands and Luxembourg ended in 1890 when William III of The Netherlands. and it severely limited the king’s powers by making the government accountable only to an elected parliament. and ascendancy rules in Luxembourg prevented a woman from becoming ruling grand duchess. unrest throughout Europe encouraged King William II to agree to liberal and democratic reform. Then. It also made provisions for the protection of citizens’ civil liberties. in 1922 women also got the right to vote. government. The Belgians revolted and declared independence from the north. haven’t we. pressure from socialist movements resulted in elections in which all men were allowed to vote. Surrounded by states at war. In 1831 King William sent an army. and parliament has remained essentially unchanged since. Life returned to normal for Dutch citizens when the war ended in 1918. as well as increasing social unrest. food became scarce and was distributed using rationing coupons. The north refused to recognise Belgium as a separate nation until 1839. the last Dutch male head of state. The worldwide Great Depression of 1929 and the early 1930s had crippling effects on the Dutch economy that lasted longer than in most European countries. We’ve come a long way. 1848. As I mentioned in Chapter One. The excessive duration of the Great Depression in The Netherlands is often explained by the very strict fiscal policy of the Dutch government at the time and its decision to adhere to the gold standard much longer than most of its trading partners. Although people elected both houses of the Dutch parliament. effectively turning The Netherlands into a constitutional monarchy. The new document was proclaimed valid on November 3. and with the North Sea unsafe for civilian ships. The German invasion of Belgium that same year led about 1 million refugees into the country.

Japanese forces invaded the Dutch East Indies on January 11. 1942. a combat group headed by the infamous Heinrich Himmler.Petra van der Veen in The Netherlands. only 1000 survived the war. There. who would gain posthumous world fame when her diary. At the end of the war. Thousands of young Dutch males. and seventy-eight thousand were left homeless. the allies advanced quickly towards the Dutch 44 . About 140. 1940. persecution of the Jews started shortly after the invasion. In the Pacific. By May 14. Resentment about the German presence grew as the occupation regime became harsher.000 Jews were alive. however. prompting many Dutch to join the resistance. Resistance was maintained as many Dutch ships and military personnel managed to reach Australia. only 40. Nazi Germany. However. most Dutch citizens thought that Germany would again respect Dutch neutrality. Following the bombardment and German threats of the same for Utrecht. Princess Margriet was born during this Canadian exile. written in the Achterhuis (backhouse) while hiding from the Nazis. Some members of the royal family eventually moved to Ottawa. fighting was occurring only in isolated locations. The royal family and some military forces fled to the United Kingdom. On May 10. when the Luftwaffe bombed Rotterdam. after the Allies landed in Normandy in June 1944. 1942. and concern mounted over the possibility of armed conflict. Of the 100. As German resistance collapsed in Western Europe. One who perished was Anne Frank. fighting against a poorly equipped Dutch army. In Europe. after Japanese troops landed on Java. about nine hundred people were killed. also volunteered for combat service on the Russian Front with the Waffen-SS. The Dutch surrendered on March 8. We were wrong. however. large parts of the city were destroyed. in the second largest city of The Netherlands. from where they were able to fight the Japanese. Dutch citizens were captured and put to work in labour camps. World War II At the outbreak of World War II in 1939. led by Adolf Hitler. Canada.000 Jews lived in The Netherlands at the beginning of the war. The Netherlands capitulated on May 15 (except for the province of Zeeland). launched an attack on The Netherlands and Belgium and overtook most of The Netherlands very quickly. The Netherlands again declared neutrality. progress was slow until the Battle of Normandy ended in August 1944.000 Jews who did not hide. until The Netherlands was liberated. was found and published by her father.

After the war. most of the Dutch East Indies declared its independence as Indonesia. About three hundred thousand Dutch colonists left the land where most of them were born and settled in the motherland. The Indonesian National Revolution followed as Indonesia attempted to secure its independence in the face of Dutch diplomatic and military opposition. immigration has been a major part of the Dutch economy’s success. Despite desperate fighting by American. Areas south of the Neder Rijn were slowly freed from September to November of 1944. the Nazi commissioner of The Netherlands. which was liberated in the Battle of the Scheldt. Throughout our history. the daring Operation Market Garden was executed with the goal of capturing bridges across three major rivers in the southern Netherlands. namely the western part of New Guinea. 1949. The Netherlands transferred sovereignty to Indonesia. The rest of the country. 1945. Post-War Years Two days after the surrender of Japan. partly because a disproportionate amount of Marshall Aid was received in the 1950s and ‘60s. including the province of Zeeland. The Dutch economy experienced an exceptional growth. first from Italy and Spain. was tried at Nuremberg as a war criminal. very few of the native population did so. Surinam was decolonised in November 1975. this did not happen. remained under Dutch control as Netherlands New Guinea until 1961. Artur Seyss-Inquart. Part of the former Dutch East Indies. and many Dutch starved. Increasing international pressure led The Netherlands to eventually withdraw. the demand for labour was so strong that immigration was actively encouraged. remained occupied until the spring of 1945. On May 5. across the Neder Rijn. and it formally recognised Indonesian independence on December 27. in larger numbers. 1944. In fact. with the majority of the population. and Polish forces. The First Canadian Army and the Second British Army conducted major operations on Dutch soil beginning in September. a beaten Nazi Germany finally caved in by signing the surrender to the Dutch at Wageningen. Although it was originally expected that the loss of the Indies would contribute to an economic downfall. giving the winter the name Hongerwinter (Hunger winter). British. At that time. though. partly because it wanted to stem the flow 45 . from Turkey and Morocco. On September 17. and then later on. the bridge at Arnhem.Women at the Top border. This time the action was encouraged by the Dutch government. The winter of 1944–45 was very harsh. could not be recaptured.

Operation Black Tulip started on September 10. The Dutch colonisation of parts of the world is responsible for the diverse community within The Netherlands and much of Europe. We can see history repeating itself in today’s news as Muslims are frequently the targets of hate crimes because of the actions committed by a few extremists in hot spots such as the United States. The Netherlands is regarded as a liberal country. The rest of their possessions went to the state. Combined with the immigration from the Netherlands Antilles. hundreds of thousands of inhabitants of Surinam came to The Netherlands and created a Surinam community. rejected traditional mores and pushed for change in matters like women's rights. The Netherlands experienced this evolution. however. In the end. and environmental issues. and students in particular. where Germans and their families were taken from their homes in the middle of the night and given one hour to collect fifty kilograms of luggage. The Germans were taken to concentration camps near the German border. the biggest of which was Mariënbosch near Nijmegen. Citizens around the world wanted someone to pay. sexuality. In other words. The operation lasted from 1946 to 1948.691 Germans or 15 per cent of German residents in The Netherlands were deported in retaliation for German atrocities committed during the war. Yet many women in The Netherlands somehow seem stuck 46 . along with the rest of Western world through rapid ontzuiling. But tempers were high. 3. now roughly as large as the population of the motherland. considering its drug policy and its legalisation of euthanasia. and The Netherlands. just after World War II. literally translated as “depolarisation”. Youths. as were losses in life and property. Most of the deportees had Dutch wives and children and were not at all affiliated with the war crimes committed by Hitler and his Nazi regime. However. in Amsterdam. they forfeited all their property. The Netherlands became a multicultural country. They were allowed to take one hundred Guilders. The 1960s and ‘70s were a time of great social and cultural change throughout the world. though having committed no crimes. disarmament and an end to war and violence. as the very possession of colonies had become politically embarrassing. 2001. Same-sex marriage has been permitted since April 1. Today.Petra van der Veen of immigrants from Surinam. the UK. a term that describes the decay of the old divisions along class and religious lines. and from many other parts of the world. save the luggage and monetary pittance. and the easiest to blame were the Germans. 1946. Operation Black Tulip was a plan in 1945 by Dutch minister of justice Kolfschoten to evict all Germans from The Netherlands.

known as the Delta Works. Fortuyn’s party won a landslide election victory. and the current issues of immigration and integration. All this sparked debates on the position of radical Islam. especially of the Islam critic Ayaan Hirsi Ali. It’s the results that count. 2004.Women at the Top in a 1950s mindset in which their only career options involve raising children or devoting themselves to a full-time career or underpaying job. several would-be Islamic terrorists were arrested and found guilty of conspiracy with terrorist intentions. The personal protection of most politicians. I know that not all Dutch women suffer from this limiting mindset. internal party squabbles and the blowing up of the coalition government they had helped create resulted in the loss of 70 per cent of their support in early general elections in 2003. Following the disaster of 47 . I believe we can do anything as women. 2002. the odds of a catastrophic inundation anywhere in The Netherlands are now one in ten thousand per year. I love the way she made it from her background into politics in The Netherlands and was able to speak up for what she believes in. because of Van Gogh’s alleged blasphemy. even the very highest corporate jobs – and even do those on a part-time basis. The last major flood in The Netherlands took place in early February 1953. We need to change our mindset.800 people drowned in the ensuing floodwaters. Two recent events have changed the political landscape of The Netherlands: On May 6. As a world leader. Film director and publicist Theo van Gogh was assassinated by a DutchMoroccan youth with radical Islamic beliefs. Hirsi Ali is a role model for me. Another murder that caused great upheaval took place on November 2. too. My intention for this book is to address the limiting beliefs we have as a society. to protect the country against future flooding. who called for a very strict policy on immigration. partly because of his perceived martyrdom. The project took more than thirty years to complete. but I see enough of it in my own social circles to warrant writing a book addressing this very concept. The Dutch government subsequently decided on a large-scale program of public works. the murder of a right-wing populist Pim Fortuyn. One week later. when a huge storm caused several dikes in the southwest to collapse. According to Dutch government engineers. there is something of tremendous importance of which we as a nation can be proud. not the working hours. the issue of Islam in general in Dutch society. however. More than 1. Other minor right-wing parties emerged later. shocked a nation that is not at all accustomed to political violence in peacetime. was stepped up to unprecedented levels.

innovative. Congress to explain The Netherlands’s efforts to protect low-lying areas. whose landscapes look quite bizarre up close and picked apart. and creative. Yet. This shows the impact our citizens are having on the world via technological advances. Are you ready to be a Woman at the Top? 48 . We have the best system in the world for protecting our land and people. it is truly breathtaking. Ladies. we Dutch are resourceful. too. the view in entirety is one of inspiration.Petra van der Veen Hurricane Katrina striking the city of New Orleans in 2005. We have a complex history that is not always pretty. It is time the women take their place in the public eye. and for this we are respected by world leaders. an American congressional delegation visited The Netherlands to inspect the Delta Works. like a painting by Vincent Van Gogh. Now it is time for the mothers to get credit. We are a diverse group of ethnicities and cultures in The Netherlands. We have always been a part of the success of our forefathers. and Dutch government engineers were invited to a hearing of the U.S. if we look at the entire picture of our thousands of years on this land.

Chapter Three: Did You Make That Up Yourself? It requires more courage to suffer than to die. —Napoleon Bonaparte .

and what we deserve. rap artists were some of the biggest financial contributors to the poorest residents of the afflicted area. One can create new life-affirming. As most of the Western world is aware.S. It begins. Though he was born 50 . I said that they are. By the way.Petra van der Veen When asked what we believe. “We believe in one God. without hesitation? In the wake of natural disasters such as the 2005 hurricane that struck New Orleans and much of the state of Mississippi in the United States. And that is our aim in this chapter. Figuring out what we’ve been taught to believe about ourselves. Usually we have accepted as gospel truth so many things that are negative. Gates does not possess a university degree. then what do we make of the billions of Euros per year that the world’s philanthropists give. When I mentioned paradigms in Chapter One. you may have decided that you want to become someone else. What we don’t hear so much about are the charitable works of some of the world’s wealthiest individuals. The expression “carrying a rucksack” refers to the idea of carrying about a set of ideas and bad habits that do not support us to become the women we dreamed of becoming when we were children. If we were taught that “money is the root of all evil”. But these are the events that the media touts the loudest. our purpose. for our purposes. Mr. We all hear about them. Let’s start with this one negative belief. such as Bill and Melinda Gates. Human beings rose quickly to assist the shocked populations of many East Asian countries that were devastated by the disaster. the situation gets more confrontational. what we are capable of.S. and even our place in the universe can seem like a monumental task. but when we get into what we believe about ourselves. Or perhaps that vision from childhood has changed. many of us will recite a creed or a statement of beliefs. We need to establish what it is we’re working with that is limiting us before we can redefine where it is we would like to take our lives and who we want to become. government could supply any aid. the Father the Almighty. old and limiting beliefs. Controversial figures such as U. The same beautiful phenomenon occurred in the wake of the tsunami in Thailand in 2004. Common among many Christian groups is the Apostle’s Creed or the Nicene Creed. lifeenhancing paradigms. many philanthropic and religious organisations went to the aid of the struggling citizens well before the U.” Most of us can recite rote ideas or statements. maker of Heaven and Earth. How very untrue. Bill Gates is the hugely successful founder of Microsoft Corporation. as you’ve grown. Money Paradigms We may feel as if all wealthy people are bad.

51 . Charity Served at Home We will never forget our Dutch Mother Theresa. can accomplish when we live our lives in service to others – not to cause ourselves undue hardship but to share our good fortune. I invite you to explore their official website: www. Our own monarch. She hated no one. In fact. she showed us what God’s love. is affiliated with groups that address global environmental and health concerns. she attracted abundance because of her honesty. integrity. gatesfoundation. no matter how small those actions appear to be. “once secretly with then-Princess Beatrix”. who was well known and loved by every Dutch person. but above all. his fortune is self-made and today. She also showed us that our actions truly matter. To me. Major Bosshardt made us laugh and cry.Women at the Top into a wealthy family. She first became famous for regularly visiting the prostitutes of Amsterdam’s red-light district. Major Bosshardt taught us that one truly saves the world by helping one person at a time. We can all learn from her on this issue.org. Major Bosshardt. Queen Beatrix. then how could so much good come from it? It is a belief that I hope you can release right now. and charity. shown in the actions of a human. My point here is that if money were truly the root of evil. every member of the royal family is involved in charity work. Bosshardt was a major in the Salvation Army and dedicated her life to the poor and addicted. For more information. and she showed her love for humanity by her simple yet profound actions. Major Bosshardt was the epitome of Christian charity – what most Christians can only hope to become. Because of Major Bosshardt’s fame she had no trouble attracting money to fund the projects she needed. Bosshardt would listen to the women’s stories and be there for them without condemnations. among countless other causes. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation strives to provide financial relief to the homeless around the world and provides funding for global health concerns. he and his wife focus mostly on charitable works through their foundation. This woman was filled with love and compassion. She loved these women as Mother Theresa loved the downtrodden and afflicted of India. Bosshardt’s death in June 2007 was a tremendous loss for the Salvation Army and for the Dutch community as a whole. This is just an extreme example of the good that money can do when in the hands of people who desire to do something worthy with their fortune. but quite obviously. These projects always involved caring for the needs of others.

Not only does this study quash the paradigm that the financial world is the domain of men. increase revenue. an article on MSN news written by Martha Graybow for Reuter’s. reports that women actually prove beneficial in corporate boardrooms. combined with men in more equal or larger numbers. which can then help others transform their own lives. If you’ve found yourself simply submitting to his ideas on household finance and family investments. which showed that companies with a large percentage of female board members fared better financially than those with a majority of male board members. We offer the products or services of our choice from the innate feeling that what we have is the best there is and that this product or service will help those with whom we share our ideas. what his ideas are. It makes me feel powerful just to think this way! It is time to begin your education on money. 52 . Men Rule the Financial Domains Let’s move on to some other common limiting paradigms. That focus will bring you an abundance that you never dreamed was possible. One example shared by many Dutch women is that the financial and economic world.Petra van der Veen This idea is the fundamental reason for most multilevel marketing (MLM) opportunities. whether in society or in the home. Divorce and other family upsets can also cause a woman shock and regret that she never learned about money. As I said. and knowing your part in the partnership can be a simple first step in figuring out what type of money you would like to bring into your life for yourself and your family. Many widows have found themselves destitute because they never took the time to learn where their family finances stood. you would be wise to start learning where you stand. a nonprofit organization. Need more evidence that the concept of women being unable to understand finances is rubbish? “Female directors improve financial results”. participating in your own finances is a starting point for learning about the financial world and economics. This is proven in large part due to a study by Catalyst. I do not suggest that if your partner has a knack for balancing the checkbook that you must assert your power and take it from him to try your hand at it. Marriages are indeed business arrangements. such as Nutrimetics. but it points towards women as the true creators of success. is the realm of the male who dominates the household. which offer people the freedom to pursue wealth by offering quality products. but more participation is likely a good idea. Women. and where you are headed financially.

Women at the Top Fortune magazine released its tally of the 50 Most Powerful Women of 2007. The work of diaper changes and nighttime feedings is no longer left solely on the shoulders of mum. What paradigms must she have had to overcome as a woman from India? The fifty-one-year-old was the most powerful woman for two years in a row. You can still raise your children and earn an income.4 billion). Oprah made the list. The old paradigms prevalent with our mothers and grandmothers were that you would cause your spouse some emasculating ego trauma by making more money than him. in which Nooyi played a key role.com/magazines/fortune/mostpowerfulwomen/2007/. with revenues ($35. The 2001 Quaker Foods acquisition. an example of another woman who overcame great obstacles that could have and arguably should have prevented the underprivileged African-American female from rising to the top. and web-based home businesses offer ever-increasing opportunities. At the same time. its revenues rose 14%.1 billion). is working out well. but this does not mean that I do not want to earn money or be successful. a priority for the company and a particular interest for the Indian-born Nooyi. and earnings per share ($3) all rising strongly last year. to $1. and operating profits rose 21%. The report on her is indeed inspiring. I chose the path I am on because I like to be with my children. Many famous women are included. is coming on strong too. Oprah is a household name worldwide. For the full list of inspirational women in business. Nooyi added the title of chairman to her own portfolio. Chairman and CEO of PepsiCo. our now-global economy. Today. MLMs. Of course. and in May. see the following website: http://money.cnn. Rubbish! Is your marriage a partnership or what? More and more men are starting to share the responsibilities of rearing children. operating profits ($6. 53 . A Woman’s Place Is in the Home Another paradigm common to us in The Netherlands is that women must rear the children. and Pepsi International.9 billion. to $13 billion. and at the top of the list was Indra Nooyi. Oh. I agree. Fortune reports the following about her: All the arrows are pointing in the right direction. although some you may never have heard of at all.

To view the list. Computer companies and local libraries often offer free seminars and classes to help you learn to use a PC and the Internet. is available in simple form online for free. Opportunities for this type of work increase daily because corporations find that they can improve productivity by allowing employees more freedom of schedule and the need for fewer sick days. you may be able to get quite a bit of work done while your sick child sleeps in his own bed. recovering from a malady that would normally cause a working mum to take the day off. If you are one of the few left in the world who cannot navigate a personal computer (PC). provides a list of the top 100 companies for working mothers. then by all means do it! Often we just do not know what careers we’re best suited for. Many companies recognise this and are encouraging more and more people to work from home. And it need not be an entire semester at a college or university. 54 . a Psychometric Personality Survey. I’m Not Qualified The world of the working mum is nothing like it was even ten years ago. Some courses are as short as a few hours. more and more corporations are allowing employees to work from home. It can actually lower a company’s costs because it does not necessarily have to provide office space for you. and this leads me to another possible paradigm: “I’m not qualified to do anything. One of my favourites. especially once your children are in school. Think about it. a personality survey. There are several ways to determine where you excel. But if returning to college or university to advance your education is something you dream about.workingmother.Petra van der Veen There is also the possibility of working part-time. Most companies listed provide alternative working situations for working parents. other more complex and informative ones cost roughly €100–200. An online periodical. visit the website at www. helps simplify personality and personality patterns into easy-to-understand quadrants that overlap to give you insight into your personal strengths and weaknesses.” This is rarely true. it is time to get educated about that immediately. Many women find this to be a great validating step for them. Technological advances are giving us more and more opportunities. They can be home when the children arrive yet still remain part of the corporate world. Working Mother. Who cares if you have a hacking cough if you’re working from your home computer? Also.com. One. Also.

Women at the Top
At the end of this chapter is a worksheet for identifying your limiting paradigms. Give this some thought, and then change the wording for each paradigm to reflect a new, positive, and affirming way you want to be. Put it in the present tense. For example, if you’ve been taught that money is the root of all evil, list that as your paradigm. You might change it to read “I am grateful for the abundance in my life with which I can do many acts of charity and goodness.”

How often does fear keep us from doing something – anything? I would say, quite often. The top ten fears for humans follow, as listed on WebMD (www. webmd.com). Note that death is not number one; it’s number ten! People would rather face death than spiders or flying. 1. Arachnophobia (spiders) 2. Social phobia 3. Aerophobia (flying) 4. Agoraphobia (fear of having a panic attack) 5. Claustrophobia (enclosed or confined spaces) 6. Acrophobia (heights) 7. Emetophobia (vomit) 8. Carcinophobia (cancer) 9. Brontophobia (thunder) 10. Necrophobia (death or dead things) Our fears can incapacitate us. They can render us impotent to take action and initiate change in our lives. At number two on the list is, amusingly, “social phobia”, which includes but is not limited to public speaking. Humans would rather face death and the loss of limbs rather than speak to a room full of people or often just be in a room full of people. No matter what your particular fears are, it is important to recognise them. At the end of this chapter is a worksheet that will help you determine your fears and search out ways to overcome them. Some fears, such as the fear of snakes or the fear of heights, might take professional intervention to overcome, but it will be worth it; some fears, such the fear of


Petra van der Veen
social situations, can be very limiting. Facing fears and overcoming them can be exhilarating, and exposing yourself to the right people and circles of influence can help you break out of the mould and create a new you! Many people struggle to make a simple decision because they are afraid to make a mistake. Mohandas Gandhi said, “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” It is absolutely liberating to learn that we can try and fail at something without having to consider ourselves failures because of it. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and finding our strengths often comes from figuring out what we are not strong in. The hit DVD The Secret addresses paradigms or excuses by presenting short, concise sentences from philosophers, theologians, and professionals who are now hugely successful. Several of them admit to growing up in poor, abusive, or alcoholic homes. At least one tells of having been homeless. Most of them were not born privileged. Philosopher Bob Proctor, CEO of LifeSuccess, was told that he was not college material. And on this hugely inspirational and lifeaffirming DVD, one learns that these paradigms are known collectively as “so whats”. Everyone has fears and bad programming. Everyone. So what? What can you do to move on? That is the question. I love the work of Eckhart Tolle, who wrote the powerful book The Power of Now. Tolle writes about the “so whats” we described previously. He says, “Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?” In other words, the “so whats” of your past are not really worth revisiting. In fact, the excuses we have made throughout our lives for failing to take action or for our bad choices are worthless. They don’t make it okay for you to not move on. Even if you’ve failed at everything you’ve ever tried (which is impossible because you’ve obviously already succeeded at learning to read), it does not matter because each new moment is an opportunity for us to move forward in creating a future that is different from ours today. On a very profound level, the Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith instructs us on our understanding of ourselves. He says, “Who am I and where am I going? You are the answer to this question. You are here to ask the question and be the answer.” Think about that. What limitations do you place on yourself because of your past, limiting beliefs? And how have you been answering the question? It is evident in the way you live your life. Do you like the answers you are getting? If not, simply change your paradigms or models. Focus on who you want to be, and bring it about. Beckwith also says that “too many people are living in a prison that they have themselves manufactured.” Is yours your kitchen? All 56

Women at the Top
joking aside, your kitchen should not be a place of confinement but a place of joy where a family unites over sustenance and abundance. It should be a place of sharing and a community of loved ones. Author Lisa Nichols tells us “what we think about we bring about”. And when we learn to love ourselves, we can then create a new person who is capable rather than incapacitated. We can create a woman who is courageous, not hindered by fear. I would like to end this chapter by sharing an inspirational story of a young woman in Pakistan named Mukhtaran Bibi, also known as Mukhtar Mai or Mukhtiar. She has overcome social paradigms inflicted by centuries of a misogynistic culture that expects women to uphold family honour for acts committed by male family members. In Pakistan, revenge against a family is often exacted through rape of a female member, who is then expected to commit suicide. Ladies, I hope none of you have ever been or will ever have to experience the horrors of rape. But let us all take inspiration from this woman who has gone on to receive recognition as a survivor and a leader in women’s rights and who has also been named Glamour magazine’s “Glamour Woman of the Year.” Mukhtar Mai did not abandon her femininity or power when she was faced with the trauma of rape and the dishonour it brought to her family and her country. Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf actually wanted her to keep silent about her ordeal because it brought negative publicity to the country. As I mentioned earlier, I hope that none of you have to experience any sort of trauma similar to Mukhtar Mai’s ordeal. In comparison, you can see that probably any experiences or limiting teachings you have been saddled with are simply a rucksack you have been willingly toting around for no reason. And in many cases, you’ve simply convinced yourself that you cannot succeed. You can. And you will.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
—Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi


1. 5. 2. 58 . 3.Petra van der Veen Identifying Limiting Paradigms: What Have You Filled Your Rucksack With? List five beliefs you have been taught that you feel hinder your progress in creating the life you deserve. 4.

3. 5. 2. 4. 59 .Women at the Top Emptying the Rucksack Now change those limiting paradigms into positive statements that you want to believe! 1.

60 . 7. 1. 10. 5. 2. 9.Petra van der Veen Fears: Keeping the Rucksack Empty – or at Least Light! List your top ten fears and then how you intend to overcome them. 8. 4. 6. 3.

The Petra Story This life is worth living. since it is what we make it. we can say.Women at the Top Chapter Four: I Did – So Can You. —William James 61 .

I didn’t really like living with my grandparents because they told us that we couldn’t do a lot of things. my brother and I went to The Netherlands and stayed with my grandparents. We were brought up with a lot of discipline – at home and at school. but we knew what we should and should not do. My father was with the Air Force and was stationed in Blomberg. As I mentioned earlier. My life in Germany was actually quite protected. I don’t think our parents felt that way. and we played a lot together. took the school bus to and from school. I had another girlfriend there. and he was quite unhappy. we had to eat and 62 . but we did. I would sometimes join them and watch her ride. We also rode our bikes to that manége and another outside our neighbourhood. my parents followed a few weeks later with all of our stuff. and we had to go to the Dutch school. we were held accountable for our actions. After our house was finished. I got rid of the notebook and had to explain why I did not have it. That was a great adventure. I remember one time I had a plum stored in the drawer under my desk where I kept my writing gear. but I eventually had to admit that it had gotten dirty. and made our own adventures. I grew up there among Dutch kids who all had fathers in the military. as dictated by the military lifestyle. and that was the only place I really had contact with any German kids. Often on the weekends we went there. my girlfriend. school had already started. so we could only see the German stations. our winters were heavy with snow. I also learned much of the language from the German television shows. For example. On my tenth birthday.Petra van der Veen My story begins on August 28. Another time it snowed so much that the bus could not take us home from school – so we walked home instead. a small town in Nordrhein-Westfalen. my parents had a caravan on a campsite. Since we lived among our own – the Dutch military kids – we could do what we wanted and rode our bikes. I told a little lie saying that I lost it. not the Dutch channels. Not far from where we lived. The plum had been lying there and had gone brown a bit and gotten all over my notebook. One time my father caught us in the little town. It was on the campsite that I learned German. We went sleighing a lot with the horses. I was too afraid to tell anyone because it was not in the “order” it was supposed to be. The event was traumatic because I had failed to keep my things in order as was expected of me by our rigid lifestyle. took lessons in horseback riding. where we would brush the horses and ride them to dry. Of course. we could not get out of the door. Moreover. went skating. I remember once when I was in kindergarten it snowed so much that we had to leave home from the window. 1971 – the day I was born in Germany. In those days there were no satellites. So. Karin. We were adventurous.

I still failed and had to repeat the same year again. At the age of twelve. That made me the teacher’s pet. The other eye was an implantation. but then things started to change. One day I accepted his invitation to his parents’ house. the children. and I felt that I didn’t belong. I thought there was no discipline at all in my new school and my new life. At the time we moved back to The Netherlands. I started to wear black clothes and shoes with sharply pointed toes. mortgage interest rates were high and my parents no longer received their foreign tutelage. I wore a blue helmet. I kind of adopted her and showed her around. For us that meant wearing secondhand clothes or clothes my mother made. we had a new girl in our class who had moved from the southern part of The Netherlands. So we had a lot less money to live on than we had in Germany. When I was about fifteen or sixteen. Thus. our lifestyle changed. With every toe a different colour. During the first two years I was still kind of timid. I did pay attention. In my third year. Also. I had two more years to adjust before I had to go to high school. I walked barefoot at school! It was also during this time that I fell in love with a handsome boy at school named Diederik. not a Dutch high school. Since I was brought up to listen to my teacher. It began with me having a teacher who had just one eye. In The Netherlands it is not common to have a school bus. and we became best friends. we moved to Holland. I didn’t get along with any of my new schoolmates. because my parents had to give up a lot of income by returning to The Netherlands instead of staying in Germany. My parents had decided to return to The Netherlands because of us. but I was quiet while everyone else shouted and played around. I went to high school. my girlfriend. did the same thing a year later. so we had to ride our bikes to school. That was not always a joy for me. At the time I had an orange brommer. I stopped caring what the others would say at school. and one day he showed it to us and let it go around the class. we had order and discipline. Both seemed to be totally missing in The Netherlands. so we joined up again in the fourth year. or motor scooter. Germany only had a Dutch primary school. and my parents wanted us to have a proper education. Now that was a whole new experience: school. Patricia. and it certainly didn’t help me fit in any better with the other children. I painted my fingernails in a variety of colours and did the same to my toenails. That was weird. In our Dutch school in Germany. so it was 63 .Women at the Top drink in the kitchen because they were afraid we would spill things on the carpet. That was also the year I did not pass! Although I learned during my summer holiday what I needed to be able to pass my test.

We lived ten kilometers from my high school. I met my first husband at Carnival. I kept my weekend job. I was a good student. Unfortunately. We would have liked to take it over. in summer and winter. Robert and I had a great time together. It was an easy way to earn extra money so we could go out again and spend it.Petra van der Veen a nice picture. and even a tennis court. after struggling with bad kidneys all his life. On the day I went to Diederik’s house. I loved that time of my life. in the most northern part of The Netherlands. and I loved being on my own. and we promised him that we would get married. and since I had to do my practical year. though. I had to cycle that. I initially felt uncomfortable there. Because of the death of my father-in-law-to-be. We felt that if we would sign our own contract that we would have to leave in 64 . I had plenty of time to go out and work. So I would spend five weeks doing nearly nothing and then the last week I would study and pass my tests. and three bathrooms! It was magnificent – but it was not the standard of living I was accustomed to. As we spent more time together. I could do what I wanted. too. We felt it coming. which we lived above. and we had exams every six weeks. We decided it would be best to go live with my Robert instead of searching for another apartment. I got used to the house and the atmosphere of abundance and luxury. but it was overruled. His parents had their own restaurant. and in March of 1993. So it set an image in my mind! After we finished high school. That was a great time. so every day. We tried to go to court to take over on the existing contract. The last year was a practical year. a pool. That was a great opportunity to take my laundry home with me. I was kind of glad to be away from my parents. Patricia and I had to leave our apartment in July. Patricia and I decided to go to Hotel Management School. His family had moved to a great new house with a pool in the garden. We both got accepted in Leeuwarden. Robert’s father died that October. multiple bathrooms and fireplaces. Actually. Robert and I had to make up our minds about the restaurant. The school maintained lists of job opportunities if you wanted to work somewhere in the hospitality industry. but it got me where I wanted to go without having to bike too far. and we lived and studied together for the next four years. but we didn’t have a good relationship with the man from whom we rented the place. But I was quite happy with that brommer. The first month I didn’t go home. it was then that I made up my mind to one day have a house like that of my own – one with lots of ground around it. Beginning in August. I was in Brussels during the week and on the weekends I was with Robert. so on the weekends I helped out with the family business. so eventually I had to come home nearly all weekends to work. three fireplaces. That made him very happy.

It was a great experience. To my surprise. I couldn’t believe it. I started working at a PMT. At that time. but in the winters we had days in which not one customer came. I became aware of this through an exercise that is very fun to do with your family and friends. When our manager moved to another PMT and our new manager had not yet arrived. It was so fascinating to hear what everyone came up with – different descriptions of the exact same room! 65 . I had no career opportunities. Now what did that say about me? Actually. You can also put it another way: I was very straightforward and needed to take the edginess off my communication. I directed the personnel and had a lot of fun with everyone. so I went to work for a cash-and-carry wholesale company called Makro. except for one man. nothing! But because of the paradigm I had. but we both got different jobs and said good-bye to the restaurant. I was raised strictly and was taught that a coffee break of fifteen minutes meant that you go grab a coffee and are back on the job within fifteen minutes. The restaurant was great during the summer. Next we described the room on paper and then read what we wrote. which is a kind of home environment for soldiers who are doing their duty. I was the only female at that training session. I thought it meant that I was as rude in my communication as most men. then it was the other way around. the ladies thought otherwise – an attitude that brought me into conflict with the group. It made me realise that the world is not just the way I see it. With the manager. My manager decided to sign me up for training in effective communicating and active listening. I helped create a manual for all the other PMTs in The Netherlands. such as bowling or other indoor games. which contained quite a bit of money. It was a nice job. It was off base and provided movies. and I loved the people I worked with. Apparently. games. I couldn’t grow in it. As I said earlier. As the right hand of the PMT’s home leader. but it was during that time that someone broke in and stole the safe. and a place to eat and meet people. That was something we would have liked to change. In 1995.Women at the Top five years time. Everybody has his or her point of reference from which he or she sees the world. Actually. I was in charge for a week. Robert and I got married. We wanted to invest and make the restaurant a place where you could do a lot of things. Although I enjoyed working at the PMT. though. That was my first step into personal growth. We changed jobs and didn’t have them match in a way that would suit us as a couple. Robert started working a day job and I worked an evening job. I started out as an assistant manager and had to work with an all-female group of cashiers. We were all sitting in the same room and had to take five or ten minutes to look around at our surroundings.

things got better and I became a floor manager a short time later. but emotionally I could not let him go. As I said. but this time we were in the food section. and in the end. I started out again with group of cashiers. we grew apart. we just perceive the very same things differently. and I felt it. So we remained friendly and went on with our lives. I looked very much at the room’s details. However. After being out of the house for over eight years. Do you see the difference? We were looking at the same curtains. Robert was either in a day job and I was in an evening job. I was naïve for wanting to change things for the employees. I kept phoning them to ask what they thought I should do. and I wanted to live there. Back at Makro. I was making too much money to live in an apartment. After that training. and I was lucky to have a great assistant and a great supervisor. flowered curtains. We sold our house. In any case. We knew we had grown apart. I set a goal of moving into that apartment building. or it was the other way around. the corporation was uncooperative and kept telling me that it was not going to be. We all live in the same world. I thought that he was the only one who could make me happy. It was also during this period that my husband and I grew apart from each other and finally decided to separate. Regardless. I was on my own. and I did not want to move back in with them. but I had no place to go. After a while. whereas I described it as having green. Our situation started to decline the prior year. I even went in to the European working council. You learn the most if you surround yourself with good people. I signed up for the working council and got elected. and they couldn’t answer that question. I got a second-floor unit. I had no intention of going back. At that time. Now I know that the truth is not always the way things look. but we still liked each other. either. With good reason I knew that we were not fit for each other. A year later we finally separated. where 66 . I hadn’t heard of the Law of Attraction. but we were both comfortable with it. On the other hand. so he went back to live with his mother until he could find a place for himself. but we had a different view or perception of them. We lived in Robert’s hometown.Petra van der Veen Since I am a female. so a family home was not an option. rather than with me – at least that was how I perceived it at the time. So we had the same attorney and settled things amicably. Most men described the room as having curtains. A great project near me was nearly finished being built. That was the most valuable lesson I learned from that training. but that was definitely what was going on. My parents lived farther away. He also liked to be with his friends. I became the chairman as well – a move I was proud of but which my father described as committing corporate suicide.

I started looking for a new job. I applied first to a training company.Women at the Top I loved working because I really believed I could make a difference. I did get to train people on the job. she had her own expectations. I felt like I had personnel to put everything into place. which is further north of our country. In that respect especially. I wanted a new job and a new challenge. They loved me as a person and thought I would be able to do the job well. we were in a position to talk with management about personnel issues. As soon as I started work. and I was told that I was good at it. Now she is a Woman at the Top! 67 . I love to educate people and help them to improve. Of course that means using different approaches with different people. Randstad did the recruiting and selection of new employees. which we had addressed at the working council. I began to train new consultants on the job and became a mentor as well. My new job had to be working more with people. my earlier work experience is helpful to what I do now. During my time at Makro. but I had neither time nor resources to coach and train them. Soon after we got a new manager – a woman – which was great because hardly any women held those positions. something that would involve me more with people. What I disliked about my job at Makro was that I was not often told that I did a good job. That is when I applied at Randstad. so we decided that I would move in with him. so I felt intimidated. a major truck producer in Europe with a lot of personnel. I love to customize training and coaching. I was assigned to Scania. He was not that great with personnel. and we took them on our payroll. and he was not particularly fond of me. a solutions company. No matter who I had in front of me. I really love to train and coach people. I changed positions and became the floor manager of the electrical department. I wasn’t that assertive and didn’t have much self-confidence at the time. and since it had a lot of employees. I also had a great people manager named Henny Greveling. We did make little differences – not as much as I had hoped – but that was okay. Unfortunately. In the meantime. I was able to explain things in a way he or she could understand. He held me accountable for that. which gave them the skills to do their work. She could really coach employees and taught them to expect better and do better. but I had no official training experience and someone with expertise got the job. Scania could have flexibility. I loved working there. either. which were so high and demanding of perfection that she got burnt out. I think. People were my main priority. He lived in Zwolle. I met my new husband. As I said. in his own house. We got the old manager back.

and I told Randstad that I wasn’t going to return to work after my maternity leave. Sales was a whole new experience for me. especially. 2003. after about the first three months. doing business with you would be out of the question. my ovary broke and I had to go to 68 . Then. But I worked forty hours with Randstad and held my workshops on two or three evenings.Petra van der Veen After three years. If you were wearing pants. I also scheduled one evening per week for training. From my safe spot of knowing everyone. At first. a boy named Meander. life evened out. I started working with Nutrimetics while still on the job at Randstad. and I didn’t realise I was pregnant because I thought I had my period. Here in The Netherlands. After approximately ten weeks of pregnancy. I learned a lot during this time. within a year I had moved up two levels and earned a decent income. I had to go out and do cold calls and networking – things that were absolutely unfamiliar to me. Then we got pregnant. argued from a religious doctrine. came on December 25. Then I got pregnant again. It’s not the fact that they’re religious. I didn’t return to Ranstadt after my son was born. just after Meander was born. I didn’t like those things very much either – probably because I wasn’t living my purpose. The products. I do those same things right now and love it. but that didn’t work out the way it should. Apparently the egg got stuck in my ovary. and they shifted me around to cities where there was a shortage of personnel. I had great colleagues again in the sales division. are all natural. not having to send Meander to day care. The company rearranged units and people during this time. it’s that as a woman you had to wear a skirt or dress to be able to do business. I stopped working with Randstad and only continued my “work” with Nutrimetics. I started working with a multilevel marketing company (MLM) called Nutrimetics. seemed and still does seem archaic to me in today’s world. In any case. In September 2002. With Nutrimetics. I also spent a couple weeks in Genemuiden – a lovely place with very religious people. I wasn’t home much at that time. I moved to another department at Randstad where I dealt with prospective clients. That is something I still can’t get used to sometimes. When our first child. This mentality. it is uncommon to have more than one job. things worked out very quickly. in skin care and cosmetics. In the United States. and together we intended to make our unit work. but I came to love working with Nutrimetics because I could work whenever I wanted to and had no boss other than myself. I thought I would never get my life back into any kind of order. the company is called My Avalla. I loved working from my home and.

and then she would spend another thirty minutes getting my energy flowing again. you can’t blame anyone but yourself when things don’t work out right. In owning your own business. I was in the hospital giving birth to Meander. Of course I didn’t realise it at that point. I had a lot of work to do. So at Christmas 2003. but this time was a different story. And that is the same attitude we had even before our first child was born and we were struggling to get pregnant. which is where my personal development really started. Since I had a lot of stuff in my rucksack. she told me exactly who I was and what I thought – without me saying a word. I started with a great spiritual therapist. Christmas 2004 I was again in the hospital. we got our two children. So in both cases. I really love the Law of Attraction! I always wanted to have two children. she can tell me how my children are and what they think. That was December 26. Ria Stoutjesdijk. When you hold on too tightly to an idea.Women at the Top the hospital. We had a thirtyminute session talking about things that bothered me. I really felt that everything was okay and that we would be fine if I couldn’t have another child. However. You all hear stories of couples who want to be pregnant but try for years and years without any luck. For example. and now we have two kids. As my great mentor always said. it won’t work. With Meander it took us nearly two years to get pregnant. The first time I met with her. as we called it earlier. she told me that Meander is a very sensitive child who picks up emotions from 69 . Here in The Netherlands we have two Christmas days: December 25 and 26. the eldest a boy and the youngest a daughter. but on March 17. After my ectopic pregnancy. At that time I also started working with coaches and others who could help me personally. although we wanted something else. It’s like looking in the mirror and wanting your image – or your results – to change. My mouth fell open in amazement. I don’t remember that much of it. our daughter Moreen was born. I was at a low level of awareness – a level where I wasn’t able to see things. but I had to be operated on quickly or else I would have died. we let go and left it up to the universe. And in spite of what the doctors told us. I was looking outside myself for reasons why things were happening the way they were. this entire experience taught me the importance of letting go. When they finally settle for adoption or let go of the idea of having children. If I take a picture with me. I still go to her every now and then – not only for myself but also for my children. yet you don’t want to change yourself. 2004. they get pregnant. We knew that we would be happy together and do the things we loved. “Let go and let God. After the surgery we were told that we probably would not have another child.” But back to my Nutrimetics business. 2006.

He helped me focus on my work. When we arrived at the hotel we joked about staying in the car and listening to the other CDs instead of going to the meeting. That is why he doesn’t ride a bike yet (he is now four years and four months). In April 2007. we listened to the CDs. Marjolein is a wonderful. That was supposed to happen so I could listen more to the CDs. Knowing things like that helps a lot in raising your children. She will feel what works out the best for me at that moment. fell over. and decided he was finished with it. For over a year now. things went up and down with my Nutrimetics business because of my own limiting beliefs and fear of success. he believed in me and saw things in me that I wasn’t able to see for myself. Someone else who has been of great help is Gert-Jan Teeuwissen. First we talk about things that have happened. a coach who has helped me out with my business. While driving to a meeting with my upline sales director. coaching the ladies in my team. I also love sharing my knowledge by leading theoretical trainings for our whole SD team. When I got home I bought the book of The Secret and borrowed the DVD from a friend. What is most astonishing is that I feel things happen in my body even days after visiting her. We stopped for dinner together and had a great time. He made me see what my values are and how my upbringing shaped my personality and was instrumental in helping me deal with paradigms. Marjolein Beunk. Meander cried while the others waved and cheered. When he does something. I’ve also been going to a holistic masseuse. That explained why when everyone waved good-bye to a teacher who went for another job. I 70 . Meander picked up the emotions of the other teachers and felt that she wasn’t ever coming back. We felt we would learn more by listening than by going in! Of course we did go to the meeting and then afterwards ended up in a traffic jam.Petra van der Veen other people. Even with my excellent team of coaches. I loved what they said and wanted to know more. As a good coach should do. Apparently. He tried it twice. What I love most about the business is working with my downline. and he held me accountable for what I said I was going to do. Meander doesn’t see school as a place to learn and make mistakes. I learned about The Secret. sensitive human being who follows her intuition. I was hooked. I love going to Marjolein and have referred many people to her. and then she will give me an intense massage – either a foot reflex massage or a belly massage or just pulsing. it has to be perfect right away. Knowing how he functions helps me deal with him in a way that is beneficial to both of us.

George Bernard Shaw is quoted as saying. I make them. Now that was something – being from the tiny world I lived in. while the masses use them as road blocks. I do not believe in circumstance. 71 . and I signed up for a website called Insight of the Day. your reward will probably be a blank stare followed with. “Circumstances hell.?” Whatever follows “because” is the circumstance. which made me realise that I had always lived that way.Women at the Top also watched What the Bleep Do We Know. Tell them they don’t need any money. At that moment. We let circumstances get us off the hook when we should be giving it everything we’ve got. Decisions The greatest stumbling block to achieving anything of importance in your life is circumstances. I got an email back from Kelly Delasalla with lots of information. or purchase a particular automobile but they can’t because they have no money. and it was there one day that I saw a square that said: “Join Bob’s teaching team. they will figure out a way to get the amount needed. When the decision is made. I made the decision to become involved in that training. How often have you caught yourself saying.. In fear. and I sent an email requesting more information. A circumstance may cause a detour in your life but you should never permit it to stop you. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstance they want and if they can’t find them they make them.” The message resonated with me. “I would like to do or have this but I can’t because. She then sent me a document on decision. More dreams are shattered and goals lost because of circumstances than any other single factor.” Napoleon said. The website emailed me a quote every day. no matter what. Successful people use circumstances to catapult them on toward their goal. Wow! Then I heard about the amount of money it was going to cost me to train to become a LifeSuccess consultant (sixteen thousand dollars). I told Kelly that I was never going to be able to make that amount of money in a short amount of time. parts one and two. and she phoned me the next day.. I got a phone call from the United States. “What do you mean I don’t need any money?” Explain they don’t need the money until they make a decision to go to Paris or purchase the car.” The next time you hear someone say they would like to vacation in Paris. They always do. “People are always blaming circumstance for what they are. I knew the money would come somehow.

When I had worked for Randstad earlier in my career. I also take Nutrimetics supplements and other products to help me retain a healthy body that does not become fatigued as easily. or I. This also meant that I had to participate in at least three phone calls to the United States every week – each at 11 p. Or maybe I didn’t want to get rid of it. very disappointed.m. I joined the mentorship program. asking them to invest in my company. I have loved networking. I promised everyone who sponsored me 10 per cent of my profit (divided among the people involved) until they. so the universe let me keep it. I tried to sell my motorbike but couldn’t get rid of it (it was the end of the summer). So I got the money together and went off to the United States. forget the circumstance or adopt Shaw’s theory. However. but get it done! —Bob Proctor With my mother’s approval. I could write a whole book about what happened that week and how everything fit together and how I attracted things in my life. You know the task you have been putting off “because. Try this yourself today. who had passed away.Petra van der Veen The circumstance they are using is one of the most common: a lack of money. which for me meant at least seven hours. I didn’t know what to say or how to talk to strangers. When I got back to The Netherlands.. That statement altered another of my paradigms. and from that time on.. that would take too much space. my time. I became convinced that I would die if I didn’t get enough sleep every night. You always attract what you need when you decide it must be done. Then I sent an email to everyone I knew. 72 . So back I went with my kids in the car. if he or she has the desire to change. I found out that the stamps were actually quite worthless. The real cause of their problem is lack of decision. This is because I’m convinced that I can improve each person’s life in a variety of ways.m.” Make a decision. I heard Bob Proctor once say that we have the potential energy in our body (since we are made up of energy) to light the continent of Australia for two weeks. But when I tried to sell it. I started to work. and lasted until 12 a. So I started having days that began around 6 a.m. I decided to sell a stamp collection I had from my grandmother. A few months ago. I didn’t like networking – very likely because I was doing it to profit someone else. which meant that I was mentored by some great people who really made a difference in my life. But now I’m on a mission to tell everyone I see what I’m doing. died. so ask me about it if we meet.

In October I met Renate van Dijken. runs a company in The Netherlands. When I entered the hall to register there was a huge board listing people in the mentorship program who got great results in the months after their first training. I had access to all the mentors and to the speakers who came to the training. The next day when Les spoke to the consultants. Renate and Joost set up the Bob33 program. I was thrilled to see that I was one of them! Also. and had an amazing experience. Again. I re-audited my LifeSuccess consultant’s training in West Palm Beach. I met a lovely woman named Kimberly Watt. I was one of the few people who had already experienced everything my “new” colleagues were about to learn. As a professional camera 73 . In March 2008. although I thought he didn’t see it as a big deal. The night before Les spoke. it takes a lot for me to be happy with my actions. the better a world we get! Joost asked me to make a video to promote the Bob33 program in Dutch for youngsters here in The Netherlands. On top of that he offered to make me a promotional video that I could put on my website. This is a free website. along with Joost Oolders. Florida. he had four of his students perform on stage as well. which is Bob Proctor’s youth program for kids ages ten through nineteen. one of the top five speakers in the world. Even if your life is not how you want it to be. They market products for young people. I must say. so pass the word on to any young people you know in this age group. and they have a think tank of over 3. She commented on how well I was doing in The Netherlands and really credited me. I got a hug from Les Brown. a lovely young woman who. She talked about being a working mum and mentioned me by name. but I will mention only a few. The more young people see how life operates and how they can create their own lives.000 young people that they can use to market products for other companies. Kimberly loved my story because it greatly resembled hers. His belief in me really makes me proud of what I’m doing. young people can access online content that helps them learn how to set goals and make something of their lives using Bob’s philosophies and teachings and the ideas he presents in The Secret. Paul made me realise that I was already doing a great job and that I should be proud of it as well! This is a good place to mention gratitude. It made me quite emotional. We chatted about what I was doing in The Netherlands and how I was a working mum with a business. As a perfectionist. there were so many great things to share about that week. He really loves what I do. Kimberly was one of them.Women at the Top I am proud to consider one of my mentors – Paul Hutsey – a friend as well. As members of Bob33. being grateful for how it is opens you up to improving all areas of your life – and you never know when your life will be touched.

74 . You don’t have to spend your time wondering how you are going to get where you want to be. he also happens to be the son of Mary Morrissey. You just go off and start with what you know. I want to make women aware that they can have it all: a great family. I want to do seminars and key note presentations all over the world. with enough spare time to spend with their husbands and children. It was called “Landgoed Het Veen”. and for that reason. my eyes caught an ad for a huge mansion on nearly thirteen acres of land. That is the most wonderful of all things that comes from working with these laws and with the material of Bob Proctor and his contemporaries. At my table was Matthew Boggs. where WE stands for “Women Empowered”. and a multimillion-dollar business. but the position of your table may vary. the same people sit at your table all week. In August 2007. a home. all the rest will come to you when you are ready for it. and that is why I want to join Les Brown’s Platinum Program. I want to enlighten women all over the world with this message. so we met again at the airport. the author and filmmaker of Project Everlasting. Besides being a very nice young man. being made up and looking at the camera and the people involved. One of my goals is that in five years I want to give a check to the Dalai Lama made out for 2.Petra van der Veen crew taped me. Since my name is van der Veen. He was the first person with whom I shared my new company name the WE Company. I thought it was destined to be my house. you see the next step to take. I sat in that chair. that decision changed my life. and I thought to myself. Every time you narrow down your mission. This way of living gives you so much peace of mind and so much joy in life. What is far more interesting is that she is a great leader of a church community in the United States and that she has been in regular contact with the Dalai Lama. I would recommend it to everyone.5 million euros for the Tibetan cause. “I could really get used to this. But I only realised my mission by making the decision to attend the first seminar in October 2007. I loved it but couldn’t imagine being able to afford living there. a makeup artist did my makeup. Now is this a coincidence. Another great example of the Law of Attraction is that I always dreamt about a big white house – or at least a big house with a tree-lined oprijlaan. She and Bob did the last piece together – “Working with the Law”. or driveway.” What a great experience that was! During the training of the week-long consultants’ training. I had narrowed down my mission. In less than six months. and the road was called the Veenweg. or is this the law at work? Matthew Boggs and I happened to have the same flight to Houston.

By the time I got back from the United States. I decided to make an offer to the real estate agent. and we both fell in love with it. is to be chiefly valued. Because I didn’t have the money at that time. They did not have them at that time. I went to talk with the man who was selling the house. I had a conflicting appointment. but now I thought it was the universe handing me an opportunity to get the money I needed for my house. I took the ad out of the paper and emailed the real estate agency to ask for pictures of the house’s interior. but I did get pictures of the interior a little later. I find it so funny that in writing this down and then reading it over. After two months of bidding. She loved the work that I was doing and believed in it. So I decided to go over that day and got a tour of the house. In the meantime. to the universe it was the same thing. I then handed it over to the universe again and made an offer to an old employer of a friend of mine who was in one of my “Mastermind” groups. In another lifetime.Women at the Top However. I would have thought that it was too good to be true. I can clearly see the levels of awareness I have gone through. and how great the things that are yet to come! Not life. I understood that it didn’t matter whether you asked for one euro or a few million euros. but good life. Then I had my training in West Palm Beach in October 2007. A few months later. It all worked out. I came across a great opportunity to earn lots of euros. I was a little nervous. I had taken my son with me. I got an email from the real estate agency that they had not come to an agreement with a potential buyer and were holding an open house in two weeks. From being en masse to where I am now … what a journey it has been. but they invited me to come and visit the house that Saturday. and he did not want to finance it until I got enough money. we agreed on a price. —Socrates 75 .


Chapter Five: What Do You Want? .

I’m not talking about the stereotypical archvillain of cinema who craves world domination as his one desire. Wanting nice things. That is not the intent of this book.Petra van der Veen Is your answer to the question asked in this chapter title “I don’t know”? It is for many people. moreover. Yes. know that 78 . American comedian Bill Cosby said. then why would such statements as “the meek shall inherit the earth” even enter into our thoughts? Eastern philosophy has different ideas on how we determine what God wants for us and how we know this. people. It is your right to want certain things and situations for yourself. we are learning that it is important to want things for ourselves. Oftentimes. it is fine to want world peace – and learning to be a better person and implementing changes in your own life is the only way to achieve that. As humans. Often. or where you are to live and exist was dictated by the church. and better situations in our lives can help the world transform for the benefit of humankind. Why are we taught that for us to want something somehow robs someone else of his or her rights and privileges? Is it because we are taught that wealthy people are bad? Does it truly go back to the idea of “money is the root of all evil?” It doesn’t make sense. we have been raised to think that to want anything for ourselves is bad. That said. I ask you to consider: is this how a truly loving parent or teacher would act? Wouldn’t most parents want their children to achieve their dreams and goals? If we are raised to see Our Father (who art in Heaven) as a loving parent. the dictation for what you want. but the key to failure is to try to please everyone. I’m talking about making your spot in this grand universe the most ideal utopia you can – one that just may inspire others to clean up and better their own patch of land. Both the Roman Catholic and Calvinist churches taught that one’s role in society was determined by God. we are to do for others before doing for ourselves or wanting anything for ourselves. You either get it or you don’t. Calvinism actually teaches (or taught) that there is nothing you can do to earn the grace of God. as society evolves and grows towards a new understanding of how we create our own lives. “I don't know the key to success.” Most religious traditions in the world teach the importance of the individual’s place in society. especially as women. but for too long societies governed by the interpretation of scripture have inflicted someone else’s belief on the entire community in an effort to create the ideal society. you were relegated to this role without the option of moving out of it via hard work. First. we cannot please everyone – even the members of our own families. what you can have. but our actions seem to indicate that. as within our own Dutch culture.

to your superconsciousness. leadership and success. you can refer any idea to your inner consciousness. astrology. spiritual communities. the Bhagavad Gita.Women at the Top you have a loving creator who wants you to be happy. thinking: ‘Is this right. Kriyananda applies the teachings of self-realisation to daily life. or that?’ But when the problems in life are complex. architecture. ‘I have come from far away to meet you. then I’d like to share with you the teachings of Swami Kriyananda at Ananda. Italy. Isn’t it nice to read that someone took another’s dream of teaching people to get along and developed that dream further? Simply wanting something does not make one a bad person. art. or teacher. and other scriptures. The Ananda Community near Assisi. Can you believe that statement alone? If so. and philosophy. As one of Yogananda’s few remaining direct disciples. which is greatly inspirational for Christians and other faiths as well. Kriyananda says: Be always centred in yourself A woman from London went to India to see Ramana Maharshi and said to him. The conscious mind tries to reason. The world has moved – you have remained the same. as well as editions of Yogananda’s teachings and writings on the Bible. to the level where we feel God’s inspiration. It is impossible to solve life’s problems and crises only on the conscious level. during the last years of Yogananda’s life. He lived with the guru. education. He has written books on marriage. The following is an excerpt from the teachings of the Hindu spiritual master. self-healing.’ He answered. there is only the present.’ This is the spiritual truth: There is no space. If you remain centred in yourself. is one of seven communities that Kriyananda has founded as a fulfilment of Yogananda’s dream to establish “world brotherhood communities” in many nations. to raise the mind to the level from which inspiration and guidance come. no time. therefore. Swami Kriyananda was born J. Italy. 79 . ‘You haven't moved at all. yoga. one needs to think of so many things that he becomes confused! It is necessary. Donald Walters and became a disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda in 1948.

watching us and smiling. So. what they thought best at the time. manifested as this being – yourself – certainly wants you to feel more in tune with Him. when people think. or another form of spirituality – are not contrary to the teachings of Jesus Christ. He says that God wants what you want. I want to know what God wants. Therefore. there is no such thing as the will of God. this divine part of you is pleased when you go in the direction of joy. ‘I am in a crisis. Eastern philosophies – be they Hindu. more joyous. God has many wills: as many as the people in the world. What do I really want? It is important to realize that God does not look at us from the clouds.’ the first thing to understand is: ‘What do I want?’ God has no desires.Petra van der Veen Are you in the least bit surprised that this comes from Hindu teachings? I’m not asking you to abandon your beliefs but only to re-examine archaic teachings that may have been implemented to keep societal order. more peaceful. yes. God?’ it is important. Buddhist. not those that humans or human institutions may or may not have corrupted. When you say. he is not indiscriminate or immoral. ‘What do you want from me. and it needs to be based on this point of view: ‘What will bring me closer to God?’ For example. And those are the real teachings that Christians strive to follow. God is within us. therefore. Humans did. when we feel that we're in a crisis. Read on. we hope. the answer needs to be specific. This included the constant condemnation of anything about which they did not understand or with which they did not agree. one can have a great talent for acting and may think: ‘God has given 80 . that it correspond to what you feel in your own being. He is the highest part of ourselves. [in other words. it is an inner smile that we feel. Therefore. and he does so in a way that devout Christians may find foreign. please. We cannot please God as if He were there. Yet often. Swami Kriyananda goes on to elaborate on how to find what God wants for you. God is above the human ego – he is not limited by human constraints but is above them] but God.

you are perfect the way you are. It is fine. but it became a terrible karma. But it is always good to remember that we can delude ourselves. you may love to sell Avalla Nutrimetics or another product. you wonder. simply because you are good at something. therefore.’ Maybe yes. When you make a mistake. you can! Swami Kriyananda continues his instruction: When we are relaxed. it is easier to be open to superconscious inspiration.Women at the Top me this talent. I could never …” Oh yes. or doing that which brings us joy. in your mind. and overcoming your fear or just taking action in spite of your fear is the path to growth. but the idea of entering a university classroom full of bright. Don't think that you need to have God's last word before you can make a decision. It is scary just to approach a prospect and introduce yourself because you may be rejected. The most important thing is wanting always to follow His will. maybe no. because it destroyed his life. Always. Elvis Presley. and you must always be open to what you feel inside. perhaps you really want to return to school. 81 . Or. “Maybe I’m not smart enough”. Really examine those things that are popping into your head and you’re dismissing by saying “Oh. for example. Performers who love to go on stage are not necessarily exempt from stage fright or fear. if you always try to follow God. is not always easy.” Rest assured. it is good for you to do it? Always ask yourself: ‘Will it bring me closer to what I am really looking for? Or is it merely an easier road for me?’ I think this concept is really important. you probably are smarter than some and not as smart as others. Likewise. Who can say that. Doing what we want is not selfish because to do what we truly want to do. but the field of sales can be frightening. because He can also correct a wrong decision. It seemed a good karma. young students is intimidating. had the karma to become a very famous singer and actor. or actress. I must be an actor. “Maybe I’m not as smart as they are. ask God: ‘Have I understood correctly? Is this really what I am supposed to do?’ Often God will give you something to do – or so it will seem to you – but then you'll see that the guidance changes. He will correct you. don't doubt it.

Petra van der Veen
Don't sit there, in the middle, slave to all circumstances of life, asking: ‘What shall I do? I am in a crisis, I have problems, but ... it is difficult ... but ....’ Don't use that word ‘but,’ which shows that you are already split in two. Think, ‘So, what will I do? Yes, I'll do it!’ and then do it, and don't dwell on it any further. The question always needs to be: ‘What does this inner God want? What brings me more in tune with Him and, above all, how can I serve Him?’ Look for the answer that leads you to harmony, to ever-increasing love, to everincreasing clarity, to deeper attunement to God. The more you look for that guidance, the more you will have it also in the small things of life. The more you place your life in God's hands, the more everything, even the smaller things, will go well. And if they don't go well, there's a reason for it, so don't worry: You also have lessons to learn, obstacles to overcome, tests that will increase your understanding. But the more you place yourself in the hands of God – of the God within you – the more you will realize that He is with you and is guiding you always.

He is always with you
After praying in the desert for sixteen years, Saint Anthony finally had a vision of Jesus, and asked him: ‘Where were you all these years when I was calling you?’ And Jesus answered: ‘Anthony, I have always been there with you.’ And so it is. He is always with you. Don't doubt, because doubts obscure the clarity of that presence. Don't think of external things, don't think of problems, always think in the way the superconscious mind thinks: saying ‘yes,’ seeking and waiting for solutions with great faith. The more in tune you are with your Higher Self, the more you will see that solutions will come to you, and everything will become clear.


Women at the Top
Swami Kryiananda’s teachings are pretty deep and spiritual, but perhaps you’re rejecting his message, thinking you have no faith, you have a different faith, or you aren’t spiritual. How then do you determine what you want to do or have? Make a list! You can probably more easily come up with goals than wants. Do you want to lose a few kilos? Do you want to stop biting your nails or earn a certain amount of money per month? Making a list will begin to show you how to figure out what you want when you realise that you can have some of the things you want. It will teach you how to dream.

How to Figure Out What You Really Want: Begin Dreaming by Goal-Setting in Areas Where You’d Like to See Results
I suggest that you divide your life into several result areas that represent the major dimensions and roles of your world. Rather than attempting to figure out what you want in every area at once, start small and focus your attention on the one area that, if improved, would have the most immediate and significant impact on the quality of your life. Eventually, you'll discover what you want in all of these areas. You can then incorporate them into your overall strategy for your future career or business. The following list comes from Time Thoughts: Resources for Personal and Career Success. • Romance – You get to define this for yourself. It could be your relationship with your significant other, your dating experiences, or your search for a soul mate. • Children – Your relationship with your children and your parenting style/skills. • Health and Fitness – Anything related to your general health and well-being, including nutrition, exercise, and physical appearance. Also includes sports or other physical activities. • Family – Your immediate and close extended family. • Fun – Fun and recreational activities, hobbies, general interests, vacations, adventures, and material toys. • Friends – Close friends and general acquaintances. • Relaxation – Personal rest and relaxation. May also include certain vacations, renewing hobbies, or interests. • Personal Development – Continuing learning, building skills and abilities, personal growth goals, etc. 83

Petra van der Veen
• • • • • • Spiritual – Whatever this means to you. Financial – Financial responsibilities, security, investing, and wealth. Career – General career path. May also include work-related learning and job skills. Home – Related to your home environment. Community/Legacy – Your community involvement and services to others. Work – Your main work/job responsibilities.

These are just suggestions. Feel free to add, change, or remove items based on your own personal preferences and needs. The website tells us about the benefit of doing lists like these in order to better manage our time. Keeping all of these areas in mind helps you find opportunities for synergy between them. For example, a weeklong hiking vacation in a national park could easily support your children, romance, spiritual, fun, relaxation, and even health and fitness areas at the same time. It is now a fairly well-accepted belief in the corporate and business world that managing one’s life as a whole increases overall productivity and effectiveness. This is important. You could become a better wife and mother by being more productive in your own business because it supports your personal happiness, which you then share with your loved ones. Another useful tool to help you figure out what you really want is to define your major definite purpose, which represents your mission in life. This is a term coined by Napoleon Hill in his classic book Think and Grow Rich. I highly recommend this book for the power it has to transform our thinking. We can be spiritually rich and have a large bank balance, too! The Time Thoughts website continues to develop the idea of growing your list from a goal list into a wish list and then, finally, a wants list. Not only is it easy to follow and do, it’s also a lot of fun to make goals, reach or reset them, and then experience the blessings and abundance that manifest because of your changed thinking. I’ve also found other helpful techniques in goal setting to help you determine your wants. It can be quite useful to prioritise your life, which is the overall message of the following information. This process can lead to much more sane and productive days, weeks, months, and years and to overall harmony in your life. It comes from the Nancy O'Hara’s book Work from the Inside Out: Seven Steps to Loving What You Do. 84

states of mind. 2. Choose a time when you can be alone.Women at the Top Steps for Figuring Out What You Really Want O'Hara writes the following steps: 1. Repeat exercises 1 to 4 with work-related desires (perhaps your ideal job. 9. Then collect all the pages you've written on to complete the exercise in this section and make a ritual of burning or otherwise destroying them. (This could include relationships. feelings. 4. Write a random and comprehensive list of all the tangible things you would like to have that you don't now have (in no particular order). Read over (preferably out loud) what you've written and sit quietly. it had on your wish list.) 6. Write about the feelings it evoked and what effect. imagine your desire for them also going up in smoke. On a separate piece of paper write down the most-desired thing from each list and put it aside for the moment. 8. Repeat exercises 1 to 4 with a list of intangible things you would like to have in your life. with 1 being low and 5 being high. a different schedule). absorbing the extent of your own desires and the dissatisfaction they've created. if any. a new boss. As you watch them disappear. Then shred the papers into tiny pieces and/or safely burn them. Is your level of desire for these things the same as it was when you first wrote about 85 . Afterward sit quietly again and absorb the impact of this ritual. 7. Then for the top ten items on the list assign a number from 1 to 5 that indicates the intensity of your desire. 5. 3. For each of the ten items write a paragraph or two about how having them would change or not change your life and how not having them now affects your life. Now look at the three desires you wrote down and set aside. with the number 1 being assigned to the most desired thing. Now prioritise the list by placing numbers before each item. Be willing – even just for the time it takes to do this exercise – to let them go.

We cannot always separate ourselves from those around us who do not wish to see us succeed. Then focus on the outcome. What does that mean – “focus on the outcome”? Every day. then make a plan that will move you toward getting it. since it is so important to have this thing.” Beware of Dream Stealers! If you’re struggling with your wants. Be still. And decide. and wants will help you weather these storms of negativity. If you see each of those things in this way. then you will see that in the doing of these things you already have them. Each act. enjoy the process of getting to it. Another beneficial action is to seek out 86 . and maybe when you get there it will feel as though you've had it all along. as valued and as pleasing as the thing itself. that everything along the way you must do to get it will be as important. It is helpful. Remaining spiritually centred and confident in your goals. Be calm. Absorb yourself in these details. dreams.Petra van der Veen them? Concentrate on the work-related desire and write about what you could do to attain it. We often have to figure out what we do not want in order to find out just what we do want. especially when you make mistakes – can be tricky. too. Be willing. But if or when you are at this juncture. Learning to handle their criticism – and they will be quick to condemn. especially if your spouse or significant other is not willingly with you on the journey to wealth and prosperity. Try not to worry about how it will manifest or what specific steps you have to take to get it. And if it still feels that your life will be more complete with it than without it. I might add. you may not be ready to brag to your friends and neighbours about how you intend to make your first million euros. to include some prayer and meditation as you go along. Philosopher Bob Proctor tells us that “everyone who ever accomplished anything never knew how they would do it. There is a lot to do when figuring out what you want. beware! Such radical shifts in mindset and determination are not always met with encouragement from those around you. and it’s important to remember that these people are not necessarily bad. It is common for people to resist change. each chore is a part of the thing itself because without them you cannot have it. to make mistakes or to change your mind. they just knew that they would. begin to visualise your life as you would like it to be. Really spend time setting goals and developing your wants.

whose amusing antics in prose are best known by his nom de plume Mark Twain. figure out what you want … and do it! 87 . I would like to share a quote from the American author and humorist Samuel Clemens. Chris Snook. author of Wealth Matters. You don’t want to learn to succeed from those who cannot or have not achieved success. Begin to seek out mentors. whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing. Though Twain was speaking about religion and politics. Think about it. tells us that we earn within about 10 per cent of our “circle of influence”. and without examination. as you will get the best encouragement and usable advice from them. In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand. and sponsors in your organisations who have been successful. his thoughts can certainly be applied to almost any area about which humans have “beliefs”. guides. Now. In closing this chapter. You are probably in similar financial circumstances as those with whom you associate most.Women at the Top others who want similar things and lives. from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners. The following quote is taken from Clemens’s Autobiography of Mark Twain.

investing. and physical appearance. or interests. Personal Development – Continuing learning. Home – Related to your home environment. Community/Legacy – Your community involvement and services to others. and material toys. Work – Your main work/job responsibilities. 4. 1. Use this chart to begin your first list. hobbies. 8. exercise. This will then lead you to determine what you want for each area of your life and help you to create your dream life. 9. Remember. you will revisit these as you reach each goal. personal growth goals. 13. Health and Fitness – Anything related to your general health and well-being including nutrition. 11. 14. May also include certain vacations. renewing hobbies. 12. 7. building skills and abilities. general interests. your dating experiences. Career – General career path. etc. Relaxation – Personal rest and relaxation. Fun – Fun and recreational activities. Children – Your relationship with your children and your parenting style/skills. Financial – Financial responsibilities. 5. or your search for a soul mate. It could be your relationship with your significant other. 6. adventures. Also includes sports or other physical activities. 10. and wealth. Spiritual – Whatever this means to you. 88 . Family – Your immediate and close extended family.Petra van der Veen Worksheet for Determining Wants I have left the explanation of each category next to each number to help you remember what you are trying to accomplish. Romance – You get to define this for yourself. 2. vacations. May also include work-related learning and job skills. security. 3. Friends – Close friends and general acquaintances.

Women at the Top Prioritising Worksheets Brainstorm sheet in no order: 89 .

3. 8. 5. 7.Petra van der Veen Top Ten from Previous List: 1. 6. 2. 90 . 9. 4. 10.

—Zig Ziglar .Chapter Six: Business Success? For Me? You can have everything that you want in life if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

nothing can stop you from climbing the ladder of success to be a Woman at the Top. much of this book will still apply to you and how you want to change your thinking towards success. This is something to think about when embarking on any new business venture. hot – and there's no sign of this trend slowing down. if hiring people for your business. With that. If you think that you’d like to start a traditional business.Petra van der Veen Today’s global economy has opened an infinite number of possibilities for new businesses. even more people are going to want to make their homes more liveable by investing in the home renovations they need. On the contrary. first you must decide in what type of business or businesses you would like to engage. a home-based business does need not be a forty-hour week commitment. I suggest looking at attitude. One can easily see past the concept of setting up a retail shop with established. If you have a negative reaction to that idea. as the population ages. everything else can be taught. Success comes in many forms. getting there is easier than ever. often very long hours where one must be present at each hour of operation to ensure that the business and employees function as desired. 1) Home Renovation Services Home renovation services are hot. Before I go further into ideas on multilevel marketing businesses (MLMs). Whether your idea of being a Woman at the Top includes beginning a career in politics or starting a new business. but creating a business or career that adjusts to the lifestyle you want is becoming easier and easier. hot. Also. a part-time business is an option too. and investing money in an advertising campaign. Also. I’ve interjected my thoughts on how you can expand these excellent ideas with direct selling or other ventures. remember that a home-based business is not necessarily something that keeps you stuck at home on the computer. you must first consider what you would like to do. This might include devoting a quiet room as an office.com. to stay where 92 . The qualities you already possess are enough to give you the drive and determination to succeed. signing up for a high-speed Internet connection. However. also known as “direct selling”. That’s all you need to feel confident about starting the business of your dreams. In the following excerpt from an article on www. and it isn’t just for men! Before we discuss specific business opportunities. here are some ideas that you might incorporate into several businesses meshed together.about.

The best home renovation to focus on for the long-term? Bathroom renovations. In their product.asp for more information. MY NOTE: A fabulous MLM known as EcoQuest International offers air and water purifiers. (Please do not take this as a way to avoid taking the family pet to the veterinarian. These technologically advanced home-improvement products are backed with a great deal of research to help you sell the items.) 93 .Women at the Top there are. but many people are looking to take health care in a different direction. Young Living Essential Oils has an entire line of pet supplements.com/index_home. and other health-related items that sell well when people consider remodelling. The site can easily connect you with distributors in your area for free trials of the air purifiers and demonstrations of the other merchandise they offer for sale. you'll have a real winner of a home business opportunity on your hands. 2) Pet-Based Products Is there anything that indulgent pet owners won't buy for their pets? If you can come up with a product for dogs or cats that you can produce in your home. Scientific research supports the effectiveness of these supplements. one can find information for Transfer Factor supplements for animals under stress and for basic care of the family cats and dogs. Many wholesalers of nutritional supplements and MLMs who offer nutritional and alternative health treatments for humans also offer products for pets. Even Fluffy needs medical care. the sky's the limit. supplements. and they are needed by everyone – including pets. but 4healthdirect is not the only MLM company that touts products for animals. Nikken also has great technology for ridding homes and businesses of pollution. For example.ecoquestintl. The February 2008 issue of this company’s Lifestyle magazine presents information from a veterinarian on using supplements and essential oils in treating pets for everything from fleas to heartworms to injuries. renovating. MY NOTE: Note that this suggestion ends with “organic” pet food. See www. From designer collars to "organic" pet foods. I will be introducing you to a fantastic MLM called 4healthdirect in Chapter Seven. or even building new homes. A pet care business would be a great supplement for your Transfer Factor business.

You can combine a knowledge of organic foods and special diets. that required special meals? You may have knowledge in this area from your life experience. MY NOTE: If a cleaning business appeals to you. I will be discussing Transfer Factors more in-depth in the next chapter. however. For example. you might consider several other ideas. Combine that with any health-based MLM. and busy families who are tired of living on take-out are spending more on having food brought in. Again. but served. your focus would be on supplements that have scientific research supporting their effectiveness and are needed by humans – who may still own pets! The years of research and support available to you via this incredible company makes it one of my two favourite choices for a home-based business. appealing food and can deliver it hot. But if you also think “health”. this is the home business opportunity for you. you may consider buying a cleaning franchise and hiring others to do the actual cleaning while you manage it. Catering services aren't just for big parties any more. Depending on your capital. and the demand for domestic cleaning services will only increase. If you're good at organizing and comfortable with the thought of running a crew. such as diabetes. Natural cleaning solutions are becoming more and more popular as we recognise the 94 . With a catering business.Petra van der Veen 3) Catering Services Think dinner for eight. this home business opportunity has the potential of turning into something big. and you can have clients order their healthy life requirements from you in several areas. there's currently a heavy demand for cleaning services. 4) Cleaning Services Along the same lines. have you cared for a family member who had a condition. you might consider an MLM that offers organic or natural cleaning solutions that are ideal for people with health issues. MY NOTE: My suggestion: think health. If you have a knack for planning and preparing nourishing. Career couples are having almost every social occasion catered. Not just delivered.

95 . What a great way to help a suffering individual – introducing them to supplements that can help them become mobile. People at the highest risk of experiencing falls likely have other health issues. it’s also an easy way to get referrals for great products. nothing brings more satisfaction to us as humans as helping others make life changes that support their overall well-being. often around the clock. Quite frankly. 5) Fall-prevention Products Did you know that falls are the leading cause of fatal injury among elderly Canadians? Did you know that falls in seniors account for over $10 million health-care dollars annually in Toronto alone? Now what if you developed or distributed a product related to helping seniors prevent falls? Think of the growing size of the potential market! MY NOTE: I’m not familiar with a specific MLM that offers fall-prevention products. This can lead to greater mobility. they may not mobile enough to travel. but this is a great specialty to offer in businesses specialising in home renovations and health care. and I’ve found Amway’s natural cleaning products to be quite effective. a Dutch company. Both Young Living Essential Oils and EcoQuest International offer natural cleaning products that you can then retail to your client base. Again. This is an excellent client base for the self-employed. which can thereby prevent falls. for generating clean energy. I like Prowin windmills. Helping the infirm solve one issue at a time then opens the doors for improving other issues that affect them.Women at the Top effect of chemicals on our body – whether we ingest them via our mouths. or come in contact with them through our skin. The wellness industry is the fastest-growing industry in the world. but two products – Flex4life capsules and Flex4life cream – are designed to promote greater flexibility. breathe them into our lungs. Transfer Factors sell products designed to not only support the immune system. Bottom line: try to cross-market your products and services within your single client base. It is an exciting time to be affiliated with a company such as Transfer Factors that promotes wellness and teaching others to care for themselves with a greater understanding of the body and how supplements can help. Since they have a need for assistance. On just the retail sales level.

MY NOTE: Gay marriage is legal in The Netherlands. you could introduce the skin-care systems to the bride and her attendants. retirement parties. use this knowledge to help decide what type of business you would like to have. If you have specialised training or experience caring for a loved one. combining knowledge with dietary needs of individuals is a fantastic way to introduce clients to supplements from Transfer Factors. You can even think larger than this. MY NOTE: See the section on catering. 7) Dietary Consultant Services Another growing trend that's only going to get larger is the perceived need for dietary advice. there will also continue to be a growing demand for weddings from gay couples seeking to tie the knot. and you could offer facials just prior to the wedding to soothe the often-stressed bride-to-be. Unless the laws change in the United States. which means growing opportunities for wedding consultant services. People are increasingly concerned about the food they put in their mouths and are increasingly aware of the connection between dietary habits and their general health – and they're increasingly prepared to pay for personalized dietary planning and advice. This type of business requires quite a bit of organisation and social skills. 8) In-Home Beauty Services This home-based business opportunity combines two trends.Petra van der Veen 6) Wedding Consultant/Planner Services More people are opting to get married. so we have a growing demand for weddings for gay couples. the insatiable demand for services that make people look and feel younger and better and the growing desire to have those services delivered. or even special events at pubs. And why not? 96 . but it would be a fantastic way to expose new clients to the products available from Avalla Nutrimetics. Well in advance of the wedding. Again. Perhaps your forte lies in planning children’s birthday celebrations.

and Australia.” But unlike in Davis’s day. Consider. today’s men are more inclined to use skincare products versus plain soap as they did years ago. One company you might consider in this line is Stampin’ Up!.Women at the Top Having someone come to your home and cleanse and tone your skin and do your makeup is the height of luxury. MY NOTE: Some art forms are indeed dying. Canada. “Men become much more attractive when they start looking older. Definitely explore your talents and skills. My contact information is at the back of the book if you would like to explore the possibilities of this fantastic company. If you're really skilled. which would produce a lucrative income. If you are so inclined to give facials and other beauty treatments. then Nutrimetics is the business for you. You are by no means limited to showing the products in old-style beauty parties. scrapbooks. and home décor. We’ve always known that. too. The company currently does business in the United States. that you may have other talents. including French-speaking Quebec. tailoring is another good homebased business opportunity. yet the need for them remains. which was founded in 1988 and is a $240-million direct-sales company and a leader in the hobby and craft industry. As mentioned earlier. Men are also concerned with sun protection and just looking healthy. too. But as not everyone is the regulation size. whose products are beyond compare in the cosmetic industry. MY NOTE: Of course. But it doesn't do much for women. the demand for other people to provide these services will only increase. Beauty sells. though we do have an advantage: makeup. this is also a great way to combine several businesses. Do not neglect the possibility of a lucrative male clientele in the cosmetics industry. in fact. World-renowned American film actress Bette Davis said. 9) Sewing and Alteration Services Sewing is on the way to becoming a lost art as more and more people find they have less and less time. this is my other favourite because it allows me to tout the benefits of owning your own Nutrimetics business. The 97 . craft projects. Stampin’ Up! offers an exclusive line of decorative stamp sets and accessories for creating greeting cards. such as decorating or painting interiors. you may find larger sales of products by developing a clientele upon whom you perform regular beauty treatments.

Owning your own business need not limit you to one source of income. so if you’re interested in a particular area. a business for those who are inclined to explore. but I think this new industry will continue to grow. It brings to mind the old adage. If you don't have the specialized training or skills needed for a particular home-based business opportunity. and start making lots of money. Being an angel investor can be rewarding in so many ways. Along with my training from LifeSuccess Consultants. this is a great home-based business opportunity because it can be done remotely as well as in person. record. you can still “be a part of it”. You can put your money to work for you and also help another get his or her dream career or business off to a good start. you might consider going into business with someone else who has a specialised skill. just go for it! Learn the skills. Most MLMs will not only offer training in their products at regional meetings and seminars. If you have the skills and training necessary.Petra van der Veen right entrepreneur could easily bring Stampin Up! to Europe. too. I’m also convinced that you can do anything you want. 10) Life/Business Coaching Services Coaching has been hot for a while now. adapt the right mindset. “don’t put all of your eggs in one basket”. And a last tip – Most of the home-based business opportunities on this list call for specialized training or skills. 98 . That said. In fact. life coaching and business coaching are areas that will combine all of my current business ventures. This type of business could be quite fascinating for those who are artistically creative and historically curious. MY NOTE: This is yet another area I am using to combine several businesses. Remember when everyone had or wanted a personal fitness trainer? Now everyone has or wants a personal coach. What a wide-open market for this business! Consider. As I said earlier. and archive history. “do it afraid” and don’t let your fear get the best of you. MY NOTE: This means that if you have capital or even business skills. but they will also teach you how to grow your business. Find a person with the appropriate training or skills and invest in his or her business. We have a lot of history and memorabilia in The Netherlands. truly wealthy people have multiple sources of income.

1990) explained how we live in a world of unlimited physical resources because of rapidly advancing technology. or start-up money. I suggest that you learn to explore other avenues for obtaining capital. Paul Zane Pilzer. explores in-depth why the next trillion American dollars will come from the wellness industry. a multimillionaire software entrepreneur. Pilzer completed college in three years and received his MBA from Wharton in fifteen months at age 22. Pilzer started several entrepreneurial businesses – earning his first $1 million before age 26 and his first $10 million before age 30. Pilzer’s Unlimited Wealth (Crown Publishers. After reading Unlimited Wealth. try searching for grants for women. where he taught for 20 consecutive years. Then. According to his website. Paul’s biography is quite impressive: Paul Zane Pilzer is a world-renowned economist. I’m including some inexpensive new business ideas. I highly suggest reading this book. founder of Wal-Mart. a part-time rabbi. author of the book The Next Trillion. for a new business is not something you have. Corporate and government grants are a great way to get initial funding that does not need to be repaid to develop an idea into a business. At age 24. While employed as Citibank’s youngest officer at 22 and its youngest vice president at 25. He was an appointed economic advisor in two presidential administrations and warned of the impending $200-billion savings and loan crisis years before official Washington was willing to listen – a story that he later told in Other People’s Money (Simon & Schuster. I would like to return to the idea of the wellness industry. a college professor and the author of numerous best-selling books. If you think any healthrelated MLM or traditional business might be right for you. A simple Internet search for grants and the business you would like to have is a great way to start. You will likely be pleasantly surprised at the results. said that he was “amazed at Pilzer’s business 99 . he was appointed adjunct professor at New York University. the late Sam Walton. however.Women at the Top If capital. 1989) which was critically acclaimed by the New York Times and The Economist magazine.

” Pilzer’s God Wants You to Be Rich (Simon & Schuster. It has been published in 18 languages.nexttrillion. in The Next Trillion. vitamins. 1995/1997) explained how the foundation of our economic system is based on our Judeo-Christian heritage.” of our economy – an industry in which the fortunes of the new millennium will be created.S. The professional summary of his book. Pilzer explains why consumers will turn away from consuming more material goods and instead seek to achieve internal self-improvement – healthier foods. This New York Times business best-seller was featured on the front page of the Wall Street Journal and on television shows ranging from 60 Minutes to First Person with Maria Shriver. In The Next Trillion. And now. nutritional supplements and 100 . population is unhealthy and overweight: Americans have become caught between the economic interests of the trillion-dollar food industry and the trillion-dollar healthcare or “sickness” industry. or “next trillion. Pilzer exposes the truth about why half the U. Pilzer focuses on an emerging “wellness” industry that will soon occupy an additional one-seventh.Petra van der Veen capacity” and his “ability to put it into layman’s terms. In analyzing these two gigantic industrial complexes. It is easy to see that this man is well qualified to make such a bold market statement! His theories and prediction come from scientific and economic research.” of the economy – an industry ripe with entrepreneurial opportunities that will eclipse those of today’s Internetbased companies. found on his website (www.com) reads as follows: What’s The Next Trillion? In The Next Trillion. Pilzer exposes our trilliondollar food and medical industries and identifies a newly emerging “wellness” industry that will soon occupy an additional one-seventh. or “next trillion.

then how large will its effect be on the global economy? Chapter Seven will focus on wellness-related MLMs that fit perfectly into Paul Pilzer’s concepts of wellness businesses from which we can all not only benefit financially but also use to help others achieve maximum wellness. —Paulo Coelho 101 . Freedom is the ability to feel your heart’s desire independently of the opinion of others. The Next Trillion offers an exhilarating vision of health and fitness – true wellness that is far more than skin deep. as Pilzer explains. This is very exciting! If the wellness industry is predicted to be the next trillion in the American economy. The Next Trillion is for businesspeople and consumers wanting to control where one-seventh of their earnings go every year. or for anyone working in today’s healthcare industry. Above all.Women at the Top fitness programs – and why consumers will create a virtually limitless and sustained demand for wellnessbased products. And it is a critical must-read for entrepreneurs who want to know where the greatest opportunities lie ahead in the next two decades. the greatest entrepreneurial opportunities will be in distributing rather than in manufacturing wellness products and services. It is important for anyone who’s ever tried to control their weight or maximize their health. Many of the products that will take this new industry from a few billion dollars to a few trillion are still in the laboratory. Yet.


Woman at the Top Chapter Seven: Small Business? Not for Long! If you keep doing what you have always done. —Unknown 103 . you will keep getting what you have always gotten.

Petra van der Veen
We addressed many business ideas in Chapter Six, but keep in mind that the possibilities are endless and not limited to one narrow idea. In this chapter we will explore the concept of the MLM or direct-selling business as a not-sosmall idea, as illustrated by the information in Chapter Six on Paul Pilzer and The Next Trillion. Participating in an MLM has many benefits. First, the products are often superior in quality to items readily available on store shelves. MLMs rely on the one-on-one training of their distributors in product knowledge. As part of enrolment within the organisation, you receive hands-on experience and often even corporate training. Within the direct-selling corporate world, there is also a tendency to encounter other people who are also trying to change their lives by changing their income and lifestyle. The thought processes and language in such companies are often positive and, quite frankly, fun to be around. Who really enjoys being at any rally – albeit corporate, social, governmental, or political – that focuses on the negative? Protests (which are negative by their nature) often result in violence or angry mobs being subdued by police in riot gear. The peaceful and often energetic, life-enhancing rally celebrating the goodness and quality of MLM products seems popular because the people involved have healthy, positive mental attitudes. They understand that sales are driven by enthusiasm for the product along with product knowledge. Gone are the days of the used car salesman pushing any product on to the unsuspecting consumer. As consumers, we want honesty and information before making a purchase. We want to know why the product being offered will be beneficial to us and why, at that price point, it is the best offered. As with any business, word-of-mouth referral is key. Keeping conversation positive is of the utmost importance, and in Chapter Eight I will discuss how the Law of Attraction and focusing one’s thoughts can help you create the magnificent lifestyle you’ve dreamed of. But first, let’s look at how the wrong attitude in business can doom a previous giant of the corporate world. Years ago, the MLM Amway, started in Michigan in the United States, paved the way for this type of direct selling as one of the first of its kind. For many years, people around the world have made millions selling Amway products, which started with one organic cleaning product that was different but excellent. Being a surfactant versus a solvent, L.O.C. (Liquid Organic Cleaner) was an effective all-around cleanser that you could use on the laundry, walls, floors, and kids. You could even brush your teeth with it (although it tasted like soap!).


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It broke down completely, so it was good for the environment – long before the “green” movements of today realised the importance of such technology. Two men began distributing this product and within a few years added more cleaning products. Amway’s website offers the following history:
The History of Amway What does the word Amway mean? Amway is an abbreviation for "American Way" and was coined in 1959 by company founders, Jay Van Andel and Richard DeVos. Short, unique and easy to remember, Amway has been registered as a corporate name and trademark ever since. In the following decades, Amway Corporation successfully established itself as a leading multilevel marketing business, built on strong values and founding principles that continue to sustain our company today. The business is built on the simple integrity of helping people lead better lives. We have long had a tradition of opportunity and success. Today, Amway is a multibillion-dollar international business representing freedom and opportunity to millions of people in more than 80 countries and territories around the world. We offer over 3 million Business Owners the inspiration to grow those businesses, and we work hard to provide new and better ways for them to achieve their life goals.

The merchandise is fabulous, as is the mission statement: “helping people lead better lives”. Amway spread throughout the world, but it quickly developed a reputation for pushy distributors who behaved a certain way and used specific language. Was this the downfall of Amway? I don’t know. They are no longer operational in the same capacity in which they were in the 1980s, but here is how I see the rest of the story. Amway was a huge organisation that had weekly meetings all over the world, held by individual distributors with individual personalities (and likely still does). Amway also supported training seminars, rallies, motivational speakers, and success stories on tape (now CDs). With all of its training on positive thinking and speeches from the likes of sales gurus such as Zig Ziglar, Amway salespeople still got a bad reputation. I often wonder whether the labelling frequently used


Petra van der Veen
by Amway folks, including their motivational speakers, was something that harmed its reputation. You see, Amway distributors began referring to anything and everything not purchased through the organisation as “negative products.” In my opinion, just because your business of choice has quality products doesn’t mean that the competitors are bad. Find a way to keep the language about your products positive. If a client, for example, loves the Mary Kay Formula 2 Cleansing Trio, figure out what is good or better about your comparable line and sell that. For example, you might respond, “Oh, that is a fabulous combination, but Nutrimetics has natural ingredients they go through all the layers of the skin and will restore your skin from the inside out. I have a perfume allergy and am allergic to formaldehyde, which preserves cosmetic products. I can use all the Nutrimetics products on my skin, even the perfumes. Because they are as natural as possible (totally natural would be an apple in a jar), and you can use them a long time, I use a cleanser for about six months and a toner and the day crème for about a year.” These selling points are positive without negating the quality of the competitor. In addition, you’re allowing the person to make a decision based on product knowledge versus trying to convince her that a system that has been around for thirty-five years is “bad”. So back to the story of Amway. The distributors drew a market plan for prospects, using circles either on paper, a dry-erase board, or a chalkboard. The plan showed how “easy” it was in direct selling to quickly turn your lifestyle around. Like the stereotypical used car salesman, some overly enthusiastic distributors steered clear of the time, energy, and discipline that any business requires. Then, the worst part, which can be found in any sales arena, was that some unscrupulous distributors used negative tactics or guilt coercion to get others to enrol and or use the products. I still contend that Amway has great products, and for the most part, it paved the way for the MLM industry. Today we have many options for MLMs, and choosing one is no longer the only way; you can choose a few that support each other. In Chapter Six, I mentioned combining MLMs with more traditional businesses or service fields. I mentioned the cosmetics company Avalla Nutrimetics, which I find to be a wonderful company with many opportunities. I fully intend to continue to build my Nutrimetics business, but I’ve decided to add to my businesses another MLM that I’ve found is beneficial to just about everyone I come across and is easy to sell: 4healthdirect. (This was discussed in the previous chapter.)


I would be happy to discuss the business and its opportunities to anyone who is curious about it (see my contact information at the end of the book). They use the products on their families. she exposed them to a person who owned a health-related business. my friend’s business is growing. When we feel better. and you’ll likely find that you’re less likely to be successful in closing a sale. some women just want to enrol in this type of organisation to buy the products at a reduced cost. but this will take time. Nutrimetics also has supplements that can help you feel better. In selling and marketing cosmetics. I have a friend who enrolled in the MLM Young Living Essential Oils because she strongly believed in the product and wanted to use it on her own family.Women at the Top I want to begin with the benefits of Nutrimetics for a woman in business who would like to reach the top. Never reject this idea. we are more enthusiastic and productive. Her family members began purchasing thousands of American dollars worth of products each month. Treating yourself to a facial or extra skin-care regime might be just the remedy to pick up your spirits and try something new. my friend has a small income from a business that developed from her just using the products. More positively phrased. Anything you can do to improve your own health is a step towards success. You cannot sell your products without knowledge of the competitor. If you decide that you love Avalla Nutrimetics. I usually find it uplifting to clean myself up and apply makeup. and today. a healthy outward appearance is a must. I suppose it’s a step towards “fake it until you make it”. Women want to look good. and slowly. Outward appearance gives an overall impression of good health. Try to pitch anything with a headache. As an alternative to selling. After seven years in the business in which she only bought products at wholesale and treated her family members to the line. looking (and smelling) good is the first step to being successful. Though selling products is a great business. then by all means learn the products and familiarise yourself with the market plan. She has also sponsored a few others who have taken the same path as her. we all do. Always remain willing to admit that you don’t know a fact about 107 . so if I have a down day. Chapter Nine will address the concept of dressing for success. In my opinion. but one must first feel like getting out of pyjamas and into more appropriate attire. “lead and the universe follows” is a good motto. these products can really help you look and feel your best. No one wants to buy a skin-care line from a woman or man with poorlooking skin.

a free facial with Avalla Nutrimetics – at your home. you will get a commission based on their purchases and those whom they enrol. This is particularly exciting given the therapeutic role transfer factors may play in activating and enhancing immunity to individuals suffering from chronic illness. You might choose to host an event – say. Another perk of owning an MLM is that you set your own hours and your income potential is not limited by the amount of capital you have on hand. Transfer Factor Research and Transfer Factor Information The use of transfer factor represents one of the most exciting advances in immune system health. you can sell to your friends. And if your sponsor is not quick to respond. By enrolling others to do the same work as you’re doing. family members. But you must first develop a client base and then encourage others to buy and sign up under you.Petra van der Veen a product. Transfer Factor Transfer Factor is a supplement that has become very popular. it is important to remain in contact with your sponsor. such as a gathering hall. or even in a rented space. and you don’t need to keep hardly any inventory. In addition. do not hesitate to develop a relationship with the person above him or her. a neighbour’s home. You can conduct product orders “after hours” online. whether yours or the competitor’s. down to a certain level. These cells then teach our immune system to recognize specific viruses or bacteria. recruiting those to work under you – those higher up in your group will usually see the necessity of working with those several levels below. The following information is provided through the 4healthdirect website. when and where you conduct your business is not limited to any one location. Some companies even offer customer log-ins where your clients log in to place their own orders using your distributor number and are then directly shipped all their purchases. Since MLMs encourage working “downline” – in other words. For quick access to information. This theory has been the subject of intense research for 108 . and new prospects at more convenient times. Transfer factor is based on the theory that key immune information can be transferred from cell to cell.

Transfer factors allow the immune system to remember conditions for which immunity has already been established. Transfer factors are the key to the immune system's memory of previous pathogen exposure.Women at the Top more than fifty years. When a person has been infected with chickenpox in childhood. In the future. for example. However. the body develops a ‘memory’ of that illness which prevents the person from becoming re-infected later in life. the specific immune transfer factor molecule for chickenpox will endow the immune system with the exact 'blueprint' of what chickenpox looks like. a healthy body can still function even though it may be missing about 50. This 'first 109 . Transfer Factor Targets Pathogens That Threaten Your Health There are several million naturally occurring transfer factors circulating in the human body. and thus. Transfer factors are tiny protein molecules that are naturally produced by immune cells called T-cells. producing a wide body of knowledge about transfer factor's contribution to immune health. are an integral component for maintaining immune system integrity and effectiveness against future exposures to those pathogens.000 different transfer factors. and the body will be able to quickly recognize and respond to any possible re-infection before it can cause disease. Many of these 'immune memory molecules' were introduced to us from our mother's colostrum. Transfer Factor – Immunity through Memory The immune system's job is to recognize potentially harmful invaders (pathogens) and then destroy or neutralize them before they make you ill.

Over Fifty Years of Research into Transfer Factor Over fifty years of research. M. producing more than 3. M. This imparts the mother's immunity to the baby to help ensure survival while the baby's immune system matures. of the United States.000 articles in peer-reviewed scientific journals. Research Finds Transfer Factor Significantly Improves NK Cell Activity Promising results from a small preliminary research study conducted by leading physicians. of Italy. Dimitri Viza. Charles W.D. indicate that natural killer (NK) cell activity in immune compromised patients 110 . Levine. Lapp. scientists and doctors formed a professional organization dedicated exclusively to the study of transfer factor. M. whether known or unknown. M.D.. and Carol Ann Ryser. target and destroy the offending pathogen. confirms transfer factor's ability to support immune response to invading pathogens.D.Petra van der Veen milk' as it is called.D. of France.. supplementation with the appropriate transfer factor molecule may provide the 'missing link'. Transfer factor's reputed significance in immune system support is underscored by the fact that an independent committee of researchers. Transfer factor in colostrum has the sole purpose of transferring immunity from the mother to the baby's immature immune system. is the richest source of concentrated transfer factors known to scientists.D. and Paul H. The International Transfer Factor Society (ITFS) is comprised of world-renowned medical experts including Giancarlo Pizza. thereby allowing the immune system to recognize.. For individuals challenged by specific pathogens. M..

500mg) at bedtime. The researchers concluded that supplementation with Transfer Factor Essentials™ is effective in stimulating NK cell function and activity. not a set of different operations unaffected by the others.” Transfer Factors on the Market Several transfer products have recently been introduced.petravanderveen. I’ve already mentioned that Transfer Factors even has remedies for pets. each with a different focus or specificity. however. resulting in significantly improved immune system function.500mg) daily at bedtime. is to try them for yourself ! 111 . Transfer Factor Essentials™. So much scientific information may be mind-boggling. A wonderful thing about natural supplements is that even though they may be intended for one issue. In the 21 day study. The study was undertaken to assess the effectiveness of the dietary supplement Transfer Factor Essentials™ in enhancing immune response by increasing NK cell activity. they frequently address others because our body works as a system. The real way to test the value of these life-changing formulas. Patients were then evaluated for both immediacy and longevity of impact and effectiveness after taking transfer factors. but you can easily visit the 4healthdirect website – www.com – and see a list of products that are easy to identify by the needs you may have. 24 immune compromised participants who met the criteria of deficient NK cell function were divided into two twelve person treatment groups: a low dose transfer factor group that received two capsules of transfer factor (1.4healthdirect. stating: “Transfer Factor Essentials™ supplementation had significantly beneficial and meaningful impact on the immune response and NK cell function (increased by 181% in the High Dose patient group) and activity of immune compromised patients who participated in this 21-day study.Women at the Top is significantly increased with the use of the polyvalent transfer factor supplement. and a high dose transfer factor group that received six capsules daily (4.

My eyes become so puffy that I can’t see. That said. I usually take two to four a day. My husband and family all can’t believe the results. I have two separate prescriptions for allergy medications to be taken on an as-needed basis. I decided to try the age-defying skin-care range with Transfer Factors. I have tried all sorts of different skin care and beauty products to help clear it up. and a night serum. My symptoms are rather common. Now I feel so much better about my skin that I often go without any makeup at all. My skin looked clearer and free of acne. The flu season 112 . Personal testimonies are preferred they come from the heart (which is now functioning better because you’ve ingested a product that supports heart health – or whatever other issue you might have previously had).Petra van der Veen Amway was on to something when it went awry with the “negative products” philosophy – that is. I have gone through the series of shots several times. it is the severity of the attacks that is not. I have also covered it with makeup (which only made it worse) because I was so embarrassed of how my face looked. and it has given me much more confidence. you can much more easily sell a product and share its benefits if you have personal testimonies. I started to see results after about five days of using the system that consists of a cleanser. ACNE I have suffered from bad acne for many years. I started taking Transfer Factors in October 2003 and have not needed to take a prescription since December 2003. I will include some published testimonies provided by Transfer Factors to give you an idea of the “miracles” associated with these fabulous products. day moisturiser. —Rachael Day ALLERGIES I have had severe allergies since I was very young.

responding to all demands. and that means that I am required too lift up to a maximum of 20kg at any given time during my workday. Then my friend introduced me to Transfer Factors. I tried many varieties of lotions and potions. Then I started taking the advanced generation Transfer Factors and the chewable Transfer Factors. I have noticed that I am no 113 . Might I add.m. In the last twelve months I had started getting lower back pains after lifting even the smallest amount (even 5kg). Great stuff ! —Anne Robinson BACK PAIN I am a delivery driver with a poultry company. overwhelming exhaustion. And sleeping? Today I take two to four Transfer Factor capsules a day and am able to sleep on my right side all night. especially when working shifts as a nurse. yet I have not been able to take the flu vaccine because of my allergies.Women at the Top this year was the worse that it has been in several years. Stofer ARTHRITIS All my life I have worked hard and always considered myself healthy. both of my roommates had it really bad. This is the first year for as far as I can remember that I did not get the flu. Within a month I realised I was running up the stairs on an afternoon duty at 10 p. —Larry E. But I was often overcome with a dragging. I was really “on the ball” right to the very end of the shift! I was relieved that my exhaustion had had nothing to do with getting old at all but a whole lot to do with giving my body what it needed to fulfil the demands I was making on it. But my main problem was being unable to sleep on my right side because of osteoarthritis for several years.

so weak that I would be in bed or in a chair. for almost four years. I have been taking these products now for a month and have also noticed that I have so much more energy. then I would get back to my normal unwellness. I also had this intense cold feeling all over. I was totally exhausted. 114 . I had to spend the best part of the day in bed in those early years. while no amounts of clothes could warm me. —Bruce Reid CHRONIC FATIGUE and FIBROMYALGIA After the birth of our fourth child. eleven years ago now. I must have spent tens of thousands of dollars on doctors. the doctors kept telling me. felt warmer.” After about a week I felt more energetic. The worse thing was that. rather then always dragging myself out of bed. had more strength. and often couldn’t sleep well. had less pain and I was able to get up at a normal time in the morning. It really amazes me still. On top of that I felt extremely weak. although there were days that were better than others. had aches and pains all over. When I was introduced to these products. “There’s nothing wrong with you. It didn’t just affect my life. and was grumpy. cried a lot. I contracted chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. but impacted our whole family. as it started in my bones and moved its way all through my body.” When they finally diagnosed me with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. “even if it helps for a few months. they told me there was not much they could do to help me.Petra van der Veen longer suffering from any back pain whatsoever. My philosophy is. and treatments. convinced that my legs would not function anymore. I welcome the relief. was depressed. as I was often unable to care for my young family and household. remedies. I decided to give it a go. had no energy. Some things worked for a while.

which gave me back one and a half hours each day! And. I can honestly say that it has made a huge difference to me. “This is scary. Transfer Factors are great for keeping you healthy.Women at the Top I didn’t need an afternoon sleep anymore. I have also weaned myself off my antidepressants! I thank God for this improvement. digestive enzymes with some probiotics. it would usually stay with me – sometimes for months. I triple my dose and the whole thing is over in about a week. no more constipation after twenty years of struggling with this problem! I started taking the enhanced second-generation Transfer Factors+. I have been really impressed with the Transfer Factors – they have really blown my socks off ! I was actually amazed to hear myself telling a friend. with some of the other supplements. six per day the first week.” —Heidi Hendrikse COLDS When I got a cold. as well as my normal vitamin C supplement. Now when I get a cold or viral infection. I was introduced to enhanced second-generation Transfer Factors+ and started on a maintenance dose of two capsules per day. I have so much energy. I am bouncing off the walls. —Eva Blake 115 . As we get older. then four per day until the bottle was finished. I would think it was starting to clear up. I think it is more difficult to shake these things off. three per day. I also took a course of fibromyalgia daytime formula. And it doesn’t come back again either. essential fatty acids with cla. It is all cleared up and I am back to normal. and then it would come back again just as bad as before. Now I am on the maintenance dose of classic Transfer Factors.

I am a type 2 diabetic and some months ago I was in a very bad way with several infections and viruses and the doctors had put me on various medications including antibiotics. —Bob Andrews 116 . With that approval I started on the Transfer Factors for diabetes. He is very strict in regard to his diet. He said that the Transfer Factors for diabetes had ingredients that were very rare and he believed that it would be better than the current products I was taking. Jim stated he had taken less glucose tablets (sugar tablets) in the last three days then he could ever remember – his blood sugars were staying more in balance. Jim has experienced more energy and less low blood sugars. I decided to check out these products with my Naturopath who had me on natural medications for my diabetes. With blood sugars staying more in balance. Life is much more enjoyable.Petra van der Veen DIABETES My Jim is a type 1 diabetic and has been insulin dependent for thirty-eight years. Couple that with no joint pain from taking the enhanced second-generation Transfer Factors+. After just three days of taking the Transfer Factors for diabetes product. —Earline Mapother DIABETES I am seventy-four years young and glad to get my life back. and I got his opinion. Now I have so much energy and feel fantastic! I am recommending these wonderful products to everyone I can. exercise. After just six months my blood sugars dropped down to what is considered the normal range and what’s amazing is that this happened within a few weeks of starting on the products. and supplements that he takes.

Many MLMs will have various compensation structures. simply contact the organisation and they will connect you with someone who can explain it in person.Women at the Top These personal testimonials are very exciting. of course. necessary to “translate” the different terms for the different levels in the Young Living Essential Oils organisation to those of the company of your choosing. I think her tips are not only helpful. achievable! And isn’t it beautiful that one of the first Crown Diamonds in that organisation is a woman? It is. and there are countless others regarding every ailment you can think up – and many you may never have even heard of. preferably at the same time each week. Utah. but follow the instructions and you will become a Woman at the Top. But how does this reward you financially? I’m including a basic market plan for Transfer Factors. but most are similar as far as the basics. or more. A “Crown Diamond” from the Young Living Essential Oils organisation out of Lehi. Knowing the benefits and results of the products will cause you to want to shout out the praises of it and show the products to everyone you know. (First) Crown Diamond Young Living Essential Oils 1. most importantly. has published the following piece: “A Strategy for Achieving Crown Diamond”. For information on the market plans of other MLMs. And while understanding the products and compensation of the organisations is imperative. but they also really make the process seem simple and. Transfer Factors has testimonials from doctors as well. knowing just how to get moving is also helpful. [MY NOTE: I love that she is not saying “commit 40–60 hours per week. It is really important to know the structure so that you can fully maximise your earnings. These testimonials are tools you can use to show the people you expose these products to. A Strategy for Achieving Crown Diamond By Vicki Opfer. Commit 5–10 hours a week. We would all just abandon hope!] 117 .

starting with #1. Continue to share/enroll/communicate. and 50% should be used for teaching sharing. 4. in 6 different legs. By the time you reach Senior Star. and show them how to help their friends set up their own memberships. 7. 3. At Executive. 6. At Senior Star. Stay in touch with everyone whom you enroll. or email. then Senior Star. and you are training them on what to do. especially a week after they receive their products. This will take you to Senior Star. This will take you to Star. This is called "teaching sharing. You will help each of these people learn how to start with #1. to build with. and then Executive. mail. Learn how to share YL (Young Living) with others and help people set up their own memberships by doing it until you are comfortable with the process. and every month thereafter with a phone call. above." This is most effective with 1–3 of their friends at a time. 5. help the people you've enrolled introduce Young Living to others. As soon as you are comfortable. 8. rather than with a larger group. This will take you to Executive. above.Petra van der Veen 2. 50% of your available time should be used for sharing/enrolling/communicating. and you will help them achieve Star. you are beginning to find those who will build with you. 118 . you are actively looking for 6 people.

) 12. 10% for communicating (leaders on your team are staying in touch with their teams. and supporting them. 20–30% for teaching sharing. Senior Star. once someone in your group reaches Diamond. At Executive. 10% of your time should be identifying leaders. and 60% on teaching sharing. simultaneously. and 50–60% on training the leaders in your group to focus on this strategy. Since you are building 7–10 Silver legs. and Silver. 11. which would create a Silver structure in that leg. teaching them the skills. you will be a Crown Diamond. 10% of your time should be used for sharing and enrolling. You are helping each of these people get to Star.Women at the Top 9. in 7–10 different legs. At Silver. and helping them focus on the process. teaching them. A diamond is a piece of coal that did well under pressure. and you're staying in touch with leaders). You want to work with leaders in at least 7 legs. 20% for communicating. You are now looking for 7–10 people with whom to build. you should be using 10% of your time for sharing/enrolling. (Two can be side-by-side in the same leg. This will take you to Silver. Now you help each of the Silvers in your organization develop their groups to a Diamond structure with this same strategy. —Unknown 119 . Executive. 10. This will take you to Diamond.


while I can’t prove that angels and guides are standing ready to help you. —Joe Vitale. wouldn’t you be wise to do so? Believing helps create miracles. But when you can use the belief in them to create miracles. isn’t it a much more delicious and comforting and magical thought to believe in them than to not believe in them? There’s no concrete evidence to support them or deny them. Spiritual Marketing 121 .Woman at the Top Chapter Eight: Making It Happen! The Law of Attraction In other words.

and then we were told it was not real. In the story of Aladdin. Stories from our childhood – whether the Brothers Grimm. and how you can begin – right now – to turn your life around with this amazing concept. Humans tend to have negative beliefs about what is possible or available to us. and if it makes you more comfortable. Speakers and teachers on the subject abound. The teachings of the Law of Attraction are designed to remedy negative thought processes and habits. Simply put. add “in God’s world” or “the universe”. I would like you to return to the “belief ” that all things are possible. “Your wish is my command. The reason for this. though not excessive. Mike Dooley explains the Law of Attraction as “thoughts become things”. though: good always prevails. we create things and circumstances by our thoughts. and it is the topic for the hit DVD The Secret as well as the driving philosophy for all of the successful entrepreneurs. is that we usually focus on what we don’t want. authors. Maybe this is what Jesus meant in Matthew 19 and Mark 10 that “with man this is impossible but with God. for himself and his widowed mother. You were trained as a young person to let go of your belief in magic. yet God is all good and all powerful.” In the original story. We were given a glimpse of possibilities as youngsters. Support for the Law of Attraction is not contrary to Christian teachings in scripture. or other fairy tales – are alive with magic. Think about it. underprivileged life. how it works. This might be a bit confusing since you may not currently find yourself able to think about a Porsche in your driveway and suddenly find the keys in your hand. motivational speakers. the young man’s desires manifest instantly via the genie of the lamp. and entrepreneurs have different definitions. Aladdin and his magical lamp from The Thousand and One Nights. which allow us to understand the concept in a variety of ways. But first I would like to give you my understanding about the Law of Attraction. a topic that I will address later in this chapter. although sometimes scary characters do dreadful things. And believing that you own a Porsche or any other item for that matter and not suddenly having it in your hands might be as simple as that. 122 .Petra van der Veen The Law of Attraction is a hot topic in today’s how-to book market. Other authors. I would like to remind you of what you probably believed as a little girl. Aladdin need only express his desires. Aladdin wishes for comfort and wealth. or we give ourselves a thousand reasons why we cannot or do not have something. and life coaches affiliated with Rhonda Byrne’s blockbuster book-turned-video. and according to the genie. philosophers. On the DVD. He is good and gracious and does not wish for evil towards others or revenge on those who mistreated him during his early. according to the Law of Attraction. All things are possible”.

however. too. and shoes she needed to attend the ball where her prince fell in love with her and she went on to live the life of her dreams? We believed it all! We knew it was possible that we. This amazing fictional woman (or maybe she was real?) not only got tossed into the forest at night instead of being slaughtered by a kind huntsman. How dull to not believe in something. about Cinderella’s “attitude” during her trials and then later when her dreams actually manifested. so each day she is happy and grateful for all that she has. including the dreamy prince and the hot shoes. Cinderella sings that “a dream is a wish your heart makes … a dream that you dream will come true. The seven societal outcasts. All of our dreams would work out for us to live in the castle. There are good gens and bad. but she also took refuge with seven men who were the outcasts of society. She never becomes embittered or angry. Well. abundant life with. could have the whole night.” Cinderella believes and trusts that everything will work out for her. 123 . Hold on to your dreams and continue to think good thoughts. Our Cinderella was pleasant and held only beautiful thoughts continuously. but belief in supernatural forces that are able to perform miracles of healing and wealth are present in all cultures and belief systems. let’s also look at Snow White. too. coach. Did we not sit in amazement as Cinderella’s fairy godmother arrived to present her. In the Disney version. but many of us miss that part of the story. We know the expression “a diamond in the rough”.Women at the Top Throughout history in that area of the world. Most accounts of the story (and they do vary quite a bit from the Disney version that has continued to entertain generations and still captures the hearts of women now in their forties) say that Cinderella was a beautiful girl inside and out. like Cinderella. you are already familiar with the Law of Attraction. She faced the fear of darkness and lurking danger – radical for a fourteenth-century woman from any continent – and “whistled while she worked”. and in some parts even today. Again. Through this fairy tale. Her “wicked” stepmother and stepsisters mistreated her and made her sweep up the ashes after waiting on them hand and foot. As children. Snow White’s thoughts carried her through her ordeal. belief in genies or gens is common. and she takes comfort in and enjoys all the beauty and wonder of nature. Here are a few things to note. Since we are discussing fairy tales to explain the Law of Attraction. This is the Law of Attraction as it was presented to us as small children. What an interesting analogy. other than atheism. magically and instantaneously. with the fabulous dress. most of us fantasised our adult selves as beautiful women with handsome men who we intensely loved and shared a rich. mined gems.

along the way in life.” Yet when it comes to facing our own dilemmas or needs. prosperity. You may ask me for anything in my name. the New Testament is full of miracles performed by Jesus. but the love expressed by the prince who comes to rescue her and also the love felt for her by the dwarves is the healing miracle many of us wait for in our lives. that because you have done this and have not withheld your son. The dwarves simply go to work whistling and take from the abundance of the universe. declares the LORD. In addition. how powerful is the Lord. and I would like to take a moment to show some of the places where Judeo-Christian scripture agrees and has agreed with this idea from the start. so let’s do our part to eradicate this nasty stereotype!) Our young minds probably didn’t recognise the important analogy of Snow White’s comatose state. your only son. Perhaps she was really dead. Though they are segregated from society. We are meant to live a life of health. God’s promises of abundance are evident: The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said. “And I will do whatever you ask in my name. happy with what they have. and even die. struggle. It may be the healing of ourselves or a loved one.” We have no trouble with the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in John 11. (Again with the “evil” stepmother – this is unfair to the good women around the world who serve their stepchildren lovingly. and abundance. but somehow. they have something that the rest of the world wants: wealth in the form of precious stones. It is because of malicious thoughts of the evil queen that Snow White is put into a deep sleep. In fact. In the beginning … there is Genesis. we lose the ability to believe in these types of miracles. “I swear by myself. except Grumpy. many of us listen to the healing miracles of those far off or far removed from us and think “Oh. This is one of the old paradigms I mentioned in Chapter Three. In Genesis 22:15–18. I want to remind you. so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. you very likely had no trouble believing in such things.Petra van der Veen the imagery from Snow White shows that the material things we wish for – and many women would love to have those gems mined by the seven dwarves – are really already all around us. and I will do it. Snow White is happy with the seven little men who are all. 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in 124 . who in John 14:13–15 says. however. that as a child. we think we’re doomed to suffer.

the next step in the Law of Attraction is taking action to do what one knows is right. because you have obeyed me. the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the LORD has blessed. Be lord over your brothers. Reading the Bible as it progresses. He didn’t do it for the outcome but because it was ethically the thing to do in his time. In Exodus 16 we read the story of miraculous 125 . he blessed him and said. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes. We see that humans have to learn a bit on their own.Women at the Top the sky and as the sand on the seashore. in the form of the Ten Commandments he provides a few miracles for the wandering Israelites suffering in the desert. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies. In Genesis 27:27–29 (New International Version). 28 May God give you of heaven's dew and of earth's richness – an abundance of grain and new wine.” The information in Genesis is rather unclear as to what the instructions of the Lord might be. Let’s look at the Ten Commandments and see where thinking correctly puts on us the right path. however. however. God makes it clear to Abraham that “faith” in the Lord – trusting the Lord on this rather dubious task of sacrificing one’s son – will lead to blessings. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed. But Abraham did it because he was expected to do it. and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. we see that there is a basic understanding of right and wrong for which we receive blessings. “Ah. 18 and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed. 29 May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. it is unclear from the beginning what is good and what is bad. which is then rewarded. After believing in what is possible. And many of the blessings for what is right come about because of what we think. Before the Lord explicitly states what is right and what is wrong. we read that Abraham passed along that positive thinking to Isaac: 27 So he went to him and kissed him.

he/she/it wants you to be happy and blessed. Remember. or the universe. angry gods and goddesses who were constantly doing things to one another and to humans for sport. for example – things that take your focus in a direction that cannot support what you want in life. Put the right Almighty at number one. If you want happiness. Ask because you know. isn’t that another commandment? 126 . So whatever you put first in your life that does not serve you can be a false idol. Today even polytheistic religions have a somewhat different take on interpreting the roles of the gods. Exodus 20 The Ten Commandments 1 2 3 And God spoke all these words: “I am the LORD your God. and work. It says that God got tired of the grumbling. You shall have no other gods before me. Can this be the case for your life? Can you align your belief system so that this is always so? Now let’s look at the list of dos and don’ts in the Judeo-Christian world. most healthy people do not achieve that by being drunk around the clock. Someone or something was giving these people what they needed and at the crucial time. out of the land of slavery.) Ask the Lord. like any father. drugs. our realities – are affected in either direction from this ethics system given around the year 1200 BC. focusing on another’s faults only brings you more faults and … well. (I like that part. there is the miracle of water from the rock. Need I say more? Miracles have been reported in many forms for many reasons. for what you need and want with joy in your heart. so I would like to look at “other gods” in a different way. What other types of things are humans “slaves” to or showing devotion to? I daresay humans are indebted to alcohol.Petra van der Veen manna and quail from heaven. arrive at your own beliefs and surround yourself with like-minded others. Then in Exodus 17. In the ancient world. people typically believed in a host of warring. who brought you out of Egypt. Faith is something that is so personal. Let’s see whether our thoughts – thereby.

we are falling into the trap we were warned about thousands of years ago. For what purpose? At first I squirmed and said things like. Jonathan asked me that same famous question. God. was that I wanted bestselling books so people would love and admire me. am a jealous God. You shall not bow down to them or worship them. the underlying motivating factor. This excellent book shows how to determine the reason behind our wants: I remember saying I wanted to write books that were colossal bestsellers. I want a vacation home so that I can spend time with my loved ones in a peaceful environment where I can feel close to nature. No one would argue with wanting to feel loved. punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me. Today it has a far different meaning than it did for ancient Israelites or even early Christians. I want the vacation home so that I can entertain all the loved ones I enjoy spending time with. was to feel love. but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.” 5 6 Idol worship is interesting. Now those are good reasons for a second home or a mansion on a lake. Have we not seen someone worship his or her car. including our creator or creative forces. right? So let’s apply this to a vacation home. If we see that object or that person as being the thing that will make us happy. but when they get our love and attention over our family and other loved ones. My goal. boat. When I said it. 127 . my intention. or home? These objects are not bad things. I felt a shift within myself. we become deterred.Women at the Top 4 “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. The way to dare to dream and remain free from the entrapment of what is today’s version of idol worship is addressed in Spiritual Marketing by Joe Vitale. the LORD your God. I deserve it or I want the money or my books are good enough for it. I knew I had reached the real thing I wanted. for I. and my family. But the real reason.

for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. and we toss about the name of the creator as a swear word. so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. the sea. nor the alien within your gates. If you do not have time to enjoy life. that is what you’ll attract to yourself. 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. nor your manservant or maidservant. If we create what we think about. Try using a word or phrase that you can exclaim that improves your thoughts versus pulling you into negativity. we will manifest negative people and situations. then we are arguing with God. Language helps us manifest our desires very quickly. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth.” 128 . Watch what you say. any supplemented interjection said with emphasis and negativity has the same effect. On it you shall not do any work. Rest. nor your animals. neither you.” Take a break. I have already said that the best way to ask for something from the Lord or creator or the universe is to do so with joy in your heart.” This one is easy. nor your son or daughter.Petra van der Veen 7 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God. and all that is in them. It is good advice no matter what your religious upbringing or beliefs. Enjoy life. No matter what it means. Find words of joy. but he rested on the seventh day. then what exactly are you working towards? 12 “Honor your father and your mother. if you are thinking about bills or ill health or problems. If we are thinking negative thoughts. 8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. It doesn’t matter if you’re thinking “I do not want more bills”.

this issue is aligned to the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have done to you. It is a beautiful process. it causes us to find more things for which we are grateful. you will end up in jail for committing such an act and very few people wish to go to prison. and it is not limited to the betrayal caused by sexual acts. Anything that even vaguely resembles how you feel when you think that thought is a negative thought—which will inevitably cause negative emotions. When we contemplate anything with emotion. but it applies 129 . 13 “You shall not murder. When we acknowledge that for which we are truly grateful. Adultery is a good place to discuss the issue of forgiveness.” This seems so simple. Gratitude is very important in the working of the Law of Attraction. it gives even more energy to that thought and increases the chance of producing something negative. Often you can check in with the appropriateness of your actions by thinking about how you feel emotionally.Women at the Top Your parents gave you life. Then it spurs us on to positive thoughts. In my opinion. which then create positive people. Recognise this feeling. Forgive yourself and forgive your spouse. and learn to dispel it quickly whenever it creeps up on you. Adultery is often caused by the lack of intimacy between two married people. In most societies. And be willing to forgive if you fall into the trap of justifying adultery.” There is much written on the issue of adultery. circumstances. Now you are at another moment in life when you have the choice to change your life. 14 “You shall not commit adultery. But let’s consider this sentiment figuratively. you are where you are today because of your parents who taught you – good or bad – some of the things you know. Honouring your parents might mean sharing your newfound knowledge with them or just remaining in a state of gratitude for your very existence. think about how you feel when you get so angry you contemplate or state “I was so mad I could just kill him.” It feels awful! Now quickly release that thought. Did you really feel good sharing that secret with your friend’s husband? Would you like your spouse doing the same with your friend or a stranger? Think about what feels right. and things for us. No matter what the circumstances of your upbringing. Forgiveness is a wonderfully freeing action that allows us to remain human and accept the humanness of others.

“Sarah. forgive. Because they focus on doing these deeds. if she is about to be photographed for the newspaper in a skin-tight getup that really is unbecoming.” This is a really good idea. For example. or his manservant or maidservant.Petra van der Veen everywhere. I would love one of 130 . Birds of a feather flock together. no matter which type of flock you imagine. It is a perfect example of “what we think about we bring about”. the commandment seems to instruct us to turn a blind eye to our neighbour’s new Porsche and squash any thoughts of “Oh. or anything that belongs to your neighbour.” Again. Stealing creates a “vibration” in us that creates lack and scarcity.” This is such a great commandment to apply to the Law of Attraction. But overall. it may be okay to say “Sarah. and don’t be mean. 17 “You shall not covet your neighbour’s house. and do not do it again. his ox or donkey. especially if you like the neighbourhood in which you live! Lying about anything or anyone creates a negative feeling that leads to negative emotions. you know your blue suit really flatters your skin. 16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbour. If you feel guilty about actions from your past. say what you mean. Have you ever read about or know people with criminal backgrounds? They seem to attract other “unrelated” crimes. Humans steal for a variety of reasons but often because they do not feel like they can pay or should pay for something. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife. do unto others. the only exception is cases of flattery. 15 “You shall not steal. the right testimony would be to say. Why don’t you try that one on instead?” It is a fine line. if your self-conscious friend has a dress that is slightly tight and you just want her to feel good about herself and enjoy the company of friends. On the surface. make it right. you look great!” However. mean what you say. thieves often attract thieves and violent members of society often attract other violent individuals.

Where we run into problems is when we think negatively. they certainly do not deserve it. So let’s apply the Law of Attraction to creating your own life. for with wealth you can do great things for other humans and for the earth on which we live. This suggests that you want your friends.Women at the Top those as well. The change must come from within.” That isn’t the case. Since this book is about women in business. and healthy beings with good relationships. we have to become another person than the one we now are. including the fact that it creates ill feelings. if you surround yourself with motivated. If I cannot afford it. For example: “Oh. and family members to earn a lot of money because the evidence supports the fact that like communities congregate. Revel in the successes of your neighbours and friends. we will start by applying this concept to your new business. Realise that he wants you to be happy. If you don’t want to earn that much money for yourself. neighbours. That process of personal growth will give you happiness or freedom or whatever state of mind you desire. then you are likely to be blessed with the same things.” Wishing ill for your neighbours or co-workers is counterproductive in every way. you have to change yourself. it’s important to have materialistic goals because in order to achieve them. We now have a greater understanding of God’s laws. It still applies – and it will always apply – but our understanding of the world around us has grown or evolved. or new dress is morally fine. Therefore. people of similar means do. or “I hope the Jones’s deal on that new home falls through. Certainly when your neighbour shows off a new purchase. So there we have the greatest list of behavioural ethics ever written. then give it to people who need it or to organisations you feel are making valuable changes in the world. you can feel assured that expressing excitement for the boat. Another reason this type of thinking is wrong is because it assumes there isn’t enough abundance to go around. healthy. Think about Chris Snook’s interesting statistic that you will earn about 10 per cent yearly of your “circle of influence”. car. John must have done something shady to get that new boat”. The corporate world is often seen as cutthroat because of the lack 131 . and I say it begins with the way we think. And if you want your results to change. I will further discuss this topic in Chapter Nine. motor home. You know the old adage “birds of a feather flock together”? Well. wealthy. too. and wealthy. what do we do with it? In my opinion. The Law of Attraction in Action So now that we’ve addressed the Law of Attraction and how we’ve always known about it.

and more and more successful people in the world are speaking out about this in their work. When I lived in Dallas some twenty years ago. world travel. We maintain our integrity. Yet I went through it for nearly fifteen years. And I’m going to let you discover the magic of marketing with spirit because nothing will be more powerful than your own firsthand experiences. after doing a few sessions with Jonathan. Look at what Joe Vitale overcame by changing his thoughts he released those old money paradigms. Joe Vitale. YEARS! Then. Let’s talk about how you can increase your business and achieve anything else you may desire through the magic power of Spiritual Marketing. His reply: But I’m focusing on business because there appears to be a serious lack of spirituality in business. the author of Spiritual Marketing. To think that we cannot accomplish something because of those nasty old paradigms we discussed back in Chapter Three. The lesson here is that as you start your business. Get comfortable. I love that we do not abandon our principles because we want to be business professionals. 132 . People like Oprah Winfrey have offered workshops and have promoted these philosophies to the entire world. And when I moved to Houston. and a constant stream of cash that keeps me above water at all the time. It was hell. Books and teachings on this subject are varied. no matter what the size. but we are coming back more and more to ethics and positivity that creates the truly successful company. and now my finances are so amazingly different that I am often in awe that I have so much: new cars. new home. I somehow let go of my old beliefs about money. Take a deep breath. was asked why he wrote the book. Relax.Petra van der Veen of ethics that closing a deal often requires. you must exercise ethics and goodness at all times. more clients than I can handle. I shoplifted to eat. Pull up a chair. I was homeless and starving. installed new ones. I found it a frustrating nightmare to come up with $200 a month to live in a dump.

which is now a place of growth and happiness. LUCKY NÆROSET has a vision which includes the inhabitants. One of the success factors was actually not to ask everybody if they liked the name LUCKY NÆROSET. The name choice was not obvious. The very clear goal of creating an autonomous region at Næroset was the success factor that changed a miserable place. 133 . experience and hear shall inspire you to feel faith. hope and desire! Faith in the fact that everything is possible with the assets and skills you already have. The town was about to cease to exist because of the closing of the school. But one of the main reasons for the great success is the ability to follow the intuition and inner wisdom – and not necessarily the opinion of everybody else. It is unusual to mix an English word with a Norwegian town name – especially since this is a tiny little village in Norway. where no one longer wanted to live. A new state needs a name.Women at the Top Knowing what you don’t want is simply your current reality. “There is a wisdom knowing that you need to get things done before others get the chance to tell you that it will not work and what will fail” – from the book Prikken. no matter how little it seems to be. And current reality can change. the visitors and the publicly elected people of the village: The sum of what you see. Faith in the people around you and faith in the future. but radical ideas using positive attitudes and faith transformed it into the vibrant place it is today. I found a wonderful story about a town in Norway that applied the Law of Attraction and positive thinking to not only keep itself in existence but to also declare itself an independent nation state. Faith in and hope for a better world – a desire to participate in making the world a better place for everybody. into LUCKY NÆROSET. written by Medlien. He has been faithful to his vision and his goals and has split the goals into concrete activities.

what type of relationship you would like to have. There is a wisdom knowing that you need to get things done before others get the chance to tell you that it will not work and what will fail. Life is so much more fun when we use the power of the Law of Attraction than when we moan and complain about the dreadfulness of our circumstances. Use additional paper if necessary. Also. So are you ready to start changing your reality? Use the worksheet at the end of this chapter to list what you want. Begin to apply the Law of Attraction to all areas of your life. Use the next sheet to restate your wants in the present. and see yourself with the new house. —Medlien 134 . and anything else you can think of listing. Try to choose some things that are easy to achieve and some that seem impossible. Sometimes figuring out what we don’t want is what it takes to figure out what we do want. It is clear that determination and applying the Law of Attraction can transform your life as well as improve your environment as a whole. Create a beautiful tomorrow or the rest of today. Your home life can be more peaceful because you are changing. update this list frequently.Petra van der Veen This is such a sweet story of success on a community level. Include what type of business you think you would like to have. and the fabulous vacations with your significant other (even if finding a significant other is on your list itself !). Get ready for the ride of your life. It’s okay if you have trouble stating your wants positively. what type of clothes. shoes. Understand that your current circumstances are the result of your past thoughts. the happy children. Know that your wants are on the way to you. cars. brought on by the power of mindset. We can have the lives about which we dream. as if you already have them. Expose your children to this way of thinking so they never have to lose the ability they are already accustomed to having.

—Unknown 135 .Women at the Top Chapter Nine: The Expanding Universe: Take Your Mind for a Ride with a Friend Everything that happens was once a dream.

so I visualise myself doing just that. if you want more time with your family. These are often collages of pictures from various sources of things and situations you want. designer clothes custom-made for me. So. In this chapter. jewellery. I’m going to take your mind for a ride. and several vacation houses all over the world for which I would need my own private jet to visit. On some of these holidays. Most of all. If the home of your dreams is nearby. get some poster board or other stiff type of craft paper and cut out pictures from magazines or take your own photos of things you want. This is probably tougher than it sounds. I let my mind travel to such thoughts as buying a mansion. Use colours that resonate with you and sayings that you find in magazines to help you express your desires for things unseen. create a vision board or several of them. Include a picture of cash. (It is quite easy to imagine while on a bike!) I also want to take golf lessons – a more achievable goal but one I have to find the time to work into my schedule. Include the watches. You may simplify this process by posting pictures of your wants on your bathroom mirror or refrigerator. By making people aware of things on another level. and other toys you would like to own. First. We’re going to take that goal list in the present tense and expand on it. It is my mission in life to improve the lives of others dramatically. If we create what is in our thoughts. Search for your dream home. With all of those houses. and include an image of it on your vision board. which would require me to accumulate 25 million euros in five years. but there are several ways to help you practice. This is also my main goal for writing this book. boats. For example. I want my own sailboat. 136 . Eventually I want to have my own island. When I’m riding. In addition to my island.5 million euros to Tibet – a cause that is near and dear to my heart. I plan to take lots of holidays with my family and some with just my husband. include a picture of a family having a picnic or a couple relaxing in a sauna.Petra van der Veen I love to ride my motorbike. Try to find pictures that go with the mood you want to be in. drive by it frequently and visualise yourself hosting a party there or sipping your morning tea in the kitchen. Put a picture of your face on a size model whose figure you would like to have. I also want to take flying lessons so that I can fly a private plane. but with that I want to donate 2. I want to spend some time in a hot air balloon. but have the images visible to you all of the time. cars. imagine what we can do when we learn to guide our thoughts daily. You can also use pictures for the nontangible wants. I can be a positive influence on this planet. because I want others to enjoy the way I have learned to live. Hang your vision board where you can see it daily. however. I want to expose this new way of life to as many people as possible. or write down the amount of money on there that you would like to see in your bank account.

talk about their dreams. The teenagers with the scary rock group posters whose lyrics promote drug use or suicide will often be dark. and create their own vision boards. which is often hard to come by if you have small children. decent lives. Does a larger office. Everything has its critics. You may want to dream up a really great home office in the home of your dreams as well. Feng shui is the Chinese art of design for homes and other spaces. Consider what you have around your home. Consider where this space can be for now. sinister. sombre. and lived good. The idea behind feng shui is that the universal energy must flow. Alone time is crucial. applied makeup (appropriately).Women at the Top Train your mind to rehearse each day how your life will be as you achieve some of your goals. and the proper arrangement of the home and items within the home is necessary to allow this to happen. having space for an office at home is important. Though you may not need to begin with an official home office. arranged properly according to feng shui. These ideas approach the concept of feng shui. depressed teens. The more complex understandings of feng shui further develop the idea of artwork. On the other hand. I find that when my space is cluttered. my mind is cluttered as well. but you might also make this into a daily routine in which your children participate. well-dressed. and on the walls of your children’s rooms. Perhaps they even went on to do something great. Did you or your friends have pictures of celebrities hanging on bedroom walls? Who were the celebrities? The girls who seemed to have happy. When starting a business.5 million-euro check to the Dalai Lama to help restore him in his nation of Tibet. I visualise myself handing the 2. or Gothic rock groups or other genres of music that may have had negative song lyrics? What we surround ourselves with on the outside will manifest. business space is necessary. famous idols were often those girls who dressed well. but you definitely want to consider what you expose your family and yourself to every day. bring more money? It may! At 137 . This does require quiet time. Encourage them to dream. Feng Shui Think back to when you were a young girl. in your car. did you or your friends display posters of dark. I like feng shui because of its focus on simplicity and clearing your space. You may want to keep things simple. A well-organised space is great for a home and even better for the mind.

I also like to download blank checks from the universe from the website www. Blank checks aren’t the only reason to visit this inspiring website. then she may also be willing to embrace new business ideas you present to her. You can print them out and write checks to yourself for various amounts that you would like to receive. State your intention to the world and allow it to come to you… I feel it’s important to have support from a mentor. I display the checks on my desk to help me visualise actually holding a check in my hands and depositing it into my bank account.Petra van der Veen minimum. Once you have decided what type of mentor you would like. 138 . You will be amazed at how easily that DVD opens the door for you to introduce your new business ideas.thesecret. and make one of your intentions finding someone to help you clear yourself of old beliefs so you can create the life you want. Other free items that provide motivation include a downloadable copy of the genie from The Secret’s portrayal of Aladdin and his lamp as well as other items. The checks also make good gifts for someone who is looking to change her life. First. to feel sorry for ourselves and play the role of victim. If the DVD helps the person become open to initiating change. Mentors Another way to exercise your mind is to find a mentor. Help exists. You will need to be able to find those checks that arrive for you daily.tv. however. then the trick is to actually have one come into your life or have one become an obvious choice for this role. explain the Law of Attraction and then share The Secret DVD with her. Joe Vitale expands on this subject specifically in the area of changing your thinking when he writes the following: Focus on what you want. it will allow you to be more productive. Even wildly successful “thought gurus” such as Bob Proctor and Joe Vitale have or have had mentors. It’s too easy to fall back into the old way of thinking. The vast majority of your current friends probably won’t support your desire to create miracles.

These women paved the way for the rest of us and ensured that we don’t have to overcome the hardships they faced. too. Seeking out a mentor or someone to guide you is a must as you begin your journey to success.” That is a great analogy in any business. seek advice and opinions only from those whose lives are in the state that inspires you to think “Wow! He/she is really successful. In late 1800. Incidentally. and an envoy for Lewis and Clark on their legendary expedition to explore much of the northwestern states. Imagine the paradigms she overcame to serve in such a position. explorer.Women at the Top Once we change our thinking to begin to create anything and everything from that car park mentioned on The Secret DVD to the first check that shocks us with its number of zeros. She later served as a guide. some people on the verge of success are so shocked that their dreams might become reality that they sabotage all of their efforts and revert back to the old paradigms! Can you imagine this? If you’ve ever been in this position. an interpreter. you might have done something similar.” We cannot be experts in every area of life. This is very hard to do alone. A friend of mine shared this great advice that her sister gave her upon the birth of her first child: “only take parenting advice from people whose children you like. she accomplished all of this with a newborn infant in arms. I would like to be like him/ her. She knew that she could navigate and speak many languages. She was a nursing mum. and sometimes it is frightening. we must continue to grow and learn about the limitless opportunities that life presents to us. and business aid. and she made history doing so. and Lewis and Clark needed her expertise. too. Always choose someone who is successful in the area in which you want to be successful. Recognise the importance of seeking out all sorts of professionals. Women can and have been achieving great success throughout history. In fact. Nowhere in the story of Sacajawea do we ever hear her complain that she was not educated enough or did not have the skills or any other paradigms you may face. If you are looking to change your life. I’m mentioning great women throughout this chapter because of their abilities to overcome their paradigms and achieve their goals. But Sacajawea is no longer with us 139 . There is a great story of a Native American woman who spent several years guiding two men in exploring the northwestern United States. Sacajawea was born around 1784 in what would later become either western Montana or eastern Idaho. Her aid in selecting the most direct routes and in securing horses for the explorers to use in crossing the Rocky Mountains was essential to the success of the mission. this Shoshone woman was kidnapped by another Native American tribe who eventually traded her to a French trapper.

sometimes you just put your focus on having one appear. we do retain our integrity and morality. but the real reward comes from exposing others to the ideas that you are learning right now. or maybe you have a natural ability to settle disagreements. or services works in reverse of what we think. we must actively seek a mentor for a specific reason. A good mentor understands that financial benefit will come from the work itself. Once we know something good.Petra van der Veen in this dimension. it limits us. I find it interesting in natural healing how often people want help yet do not want to pay for your time and energy. A limitless supply of abundance exists in the universe. and in doing so. Be willing to pay for someone’s expertise or trade in-kind through referrals or some other skill.” This is an old Buddhist proverb which is still very true today. you will learn more in a shorter period of time than you would if you were on your own. Other times. and share the great news. We can be happy. It does not provide us with more. Often our mentors appear right at the time we are most ready to listen to their advice. Being involved in MLMs is a great way to find mentors. 140 . It may be your ability to organise a home or an office. By finding a mentor to help guide your way. Examine your life. but you may have to pay a mentor as you would any teacher in a specialised field. so we must find a way to look to others. however. What do you have to offer others? Rarely do we reach adulthood and have nothing to offer those around us. the teacher will appear. Examine your curriculum vitae. Good mentors are not those who claim to know it all but are those who continue to “learn new skills and competency”. It could be anything. “When the student is ready. Perhaps you have some marketable skills and experience with which you can mentor someone else. As Joe Vitale said. contacts. healthy. Hoarding business ideas. Expand your circles. Just because you have a mentor does not take you out of the pool of available mentors for others. Many MLMs have scheduled training seminars where you can find a mentor if your sponsor is not the person with whom you would like to work. both personal and professional. it’s really a calling for us to share it with others. products. Every business move requires an exchange of energy. Being a Mentor Sharing our newfound knowledge or anything in which we truly believe – including business opportunities – is parallel to early Christianising. and wealthy.

We sell what we believe in. You may have the life experience or even just the exposure to new ideas or ways of thinking that can transform the lives of others. This is much easier to do when selling furniture. As Aesop said. This should be your focus for any product or service you are selling.Women at the Top It is important to seek out like-minded others. William Booth.” Consider the stories of the following two amazing women. Whereas something may have worked for you. Sometimes simply brainstorming with another person can get a mentoring session off the ground. 141 . you also benefit. This is the same for mentees. Both of the following stories come from a book called Extraordinary Women: Women Who Changed History. the customer may still reject the idea. you can expose an unsuspecting individual to radical ideas that change her life and yours. See this as a perk. “No kind deed ever goes unrewarded. however. so at times you will find that your customer’s idea of what is good differs from yours. You are probably already aware that when you help someone else. Humans have different opinions on value. or cars because you can respect that you may not like a yellow car or yellow shoes but that they might work well for another woman. and on occasion. Helping others find ideas that work for them is a great way to mentor and achieve the self-satisfaction that comes with doing a good job and helping others to succeed. and share your good news for the benefits it will bring to others. humans are individuals and it’s important to respect that aspect of working with someone else to develop his or her potential. Neither seems to have had “official mentors” but each made an incredible impression on the world. 1865–1950 British-born Social Reformer Evangeline Booth’s father. (I’ve added my own italics for emphasis. Be careful not to inflict your opinion on something a client wants. edited by Catherine M. Even though we may feel certain that “this is what you need”. Mentoring may not seem to have financial rewards except if you happen to own an MLM business – then you can see the rewards of mentoring in euros! Even if you’ve never had an official mentor of your own. With other items. By the age of seventeen. your ability to mentor may not be limited. left the Methodist ministry to found an independent evangelistic organization that became the Salvation Army. shoes. Trying to sell something that you think is not a value to a customer is difficult and borders on dishonesty.) Evangeline Cory Booth. it’s not so easy. Edmonson.

had been leader of the opposition until his assassination in 1983. we seem to view working mothers as a new phenomenon. Her husband. yet there are so many examples of great mothers who made an impact on the world and on the feminist movements overall. She was educated in the United States and in addition to being a homemaker and a mother. wrote about her life experiences while helping settle the wilderness of the American colonies during the seventeenth century. all of whom were forced to write under nom de plums because women were not allowed to do such things. Booth also organised canteens for World War I soldiers in France. She was indeed a working mother. the Army established soup kitchens. Assuming leadership (don’t you love this?) of the opposition. Under Booth’s leadership. for which she earned the Distinguished Service Medal in 1919. hospitals for unwed mothers. however. and emergency disaster relief efforts. 142 . won and forced him from office. In 1934 she assumed leadership of the international organisation. It is interesting to note how many women who changed the world were also working mothers. In today’s world.” In 1904. Benigno S. she served as her husband’s liaison with the outside world during his imprisonment (1972– 80) for his opposition to President Ferdinand Marcos.Petra van der Veen Evangeline was preaching the gospel on her own. Corazon Aquino 1933– Former President of the Philippines Aquino was president of the Philippines from 1986 to 1992. she ran against Marcos in 1985 and. Consider the next example of a Puritan woman who became the first American poet. earning her the moniker “White Angel of the Slums.. which she ran for five years. Bradstreet. she began her thirty-year career as the leader of the Salvation Army in the United States. Mrs. Anne Bradstreet was a contemporary of the Brontë sisters. Jr. after much nonviolent manoeuvring and contesting of ballot results. Aquino.

Women at the Top Anne Bradstreet 1612–72
American Poet Bradstreet was America’s first published poet. She abandoned a life among the nobility in England to settle with her husband in Massachusetts sometime before 1644. Her poems were first published in London in 1650 in a collection entitled The Tenth Muse Lately Sprung-Up in America. A later collection, Several Poems Compiled with Great Variety (of) Wit and Learning, was published posthumously. Her verses, composed while Bradstreet attended to her family of ten, offer fascinating insights on Puritan (Calvinist) life in the colonies. They express Bradstreet’s love for her husband (rather taboo in Puritan literature), her anguish at the death of a child, her fear of death in childbirth, and the determination to go on in the face of hardship.

Though none of these women had obvious mentors, from what we know about them, they had great talents to share with other mothers and people in similar fields. My point here is to convince you to seek out mentors for specific areas in your life that you would like to improve, and to recognise those traits in yourself that might be valuable to another. And network. Create a group of friends who become business associates or who simply have similar desires to you. Within such an intimate group, mentors and mentees can and will emerge. These relationships can be so beneficial. So take your mind for a ride, and bring a passenger along with you. Or take several. Success is much more fun with friends.

Inspiring others toward happiness brings you happiness.
—Hindu proverb


Woman at the Top

Chapter Ten:
Getting Dressed for Success – Nice Shoes!
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
—Origin unknown


have a similar effect on us. draw attention from onlookers as they are meant to do. at his father’s funeral and as a college student exploring the meaning of life and unhappy with his findings. I have made this final chapter on “dressing for success” to encourage you to get ready and go take on the world! Take what you’ve learned. but don’t we often choose a book simply because it is attractive to us? What do book covers say to you? Whether it’s the cover or the title. there is nothing to dress for”. materials. Yet have you ever tried it in reverse? Have you ever gotten dressed just to see what your day turns out like? When I am dressed and ready to go. overtly happy people often wear loud or bright colours! Showing individuality and a sense of style not governed by any one mindset is the positive side of outward expression. The prevalent attitude becomes “when there is nothing to look forward to. and styles opens us up to a form of artistic creativity that we do daily. and he became the role model for Goth people everywhere for centuries. seminar. Begin by learning from those in the business field you think you want to pursue – including the way they dress. Our surroundings. So Hamlet showed his emotions or mood in his outward appearance. and meet people. Punk rockers of the 1980s went to great extremes to draw attention to their wild hairstyles and extreme makeup and clothing – even though the original owners had already marked the items for the rubbish bin. Radical styles. we are usually in a different mood than when we are dressed up. whether or not arranged according to feng shui. If we are dressed down. On the flip side. or keynote speech. I dress differently to ride my motorbike than I do when I dress for my life-coaching session. I’m not suggesting that there aren’t many valuable things that may not be packaged well. something worth going to invariably comes into my day. Being free to mix and match patterns. There are a lot of contradictory clichés on the subject of first impressions. You won’t discuss the latest environmental issues or Einstein’s Theory of Relativity 146 . When you go to your wardrobe and choose what to wear for the day. Shakespeare’s character Hamlet dressed in black daily. but as humans we have a conscious choice about how we present ourselves to others. For example. something usually gets our attention initially. we often say “don’t judge a book by its cover”.Petra van der Veen Concern for outward appearance is something many stay-at-home mums lose as their boredom with routine takes over. like very sleek or expensive cars. you are usually making a conscious choice for how the world will “see you” today. It is not a new form of expression to dress in dark fashions when one is in a dark mood or state of mind. And this form of self-expression is ageless.

They are pragmatic shoes for our climate. and thereby the entire body. Isn’t it fabulous to be known for looking good in all sizes? We can all learn something from world-renowned fashion lingerie designer Marlies Dekkers. Marlies Dekkers’s lingerie has become an established brand worldwide with 1. In fact. with a fax next to her pillow and a grant from the Ministry of Economic Affairs. think of the Crocs that have recently become fashionable as well as comfortable in the Western world. the designer managed to build up that cottage industry into what is today the MD Group: a company with around 100 employees and offices in The Netherlands and Hong Kong. Undressed. Our dress gives the people we come in contact with a first impression – and first impressions are often lasting ones. When venturing into business. The Dutch should be proud to have styles and designers that are recognised around the world.Women at the Top with every person you come in contact with. They resemble our traditional footwear yet are constructed of comfortable foam that more properly supports the feet. why not dress for it? The Dressing Habits of the Dutch How many books about The Netherlands include a pair of wooden shoes on the cover? We Dutch have been known for our classic shoes for centuries. but most of us do not sport them in the business world. Driven by the desire to use her talents. There are also six marlies|dekkers stores in The Netherlands. it is important to look the part. So if you aim for success. Crocs are popular with medical personnel and others who must be on their feet for long hours. 147 . she produced a lingerie line that would help women to feel better about themselves and their bodies. Similarly. Her curriculum vitae tells us much about her rise to fame: In 1993 Marlies Dekkers started up her own lingerie brand. if you see a person walking down the street in scrubs and Crocs. you can probably safely assume that he or she works in the medical field. This doesn’t mean that you have to spend a lot of money up front. so the only way society can know what’s on your mind is by the way you dress. but investing in a few key pieces to get you going is an excellent idea.000 selling points in 18 different countries. Supported by her then partner Peter Wagenaar and her sister Anja.

When we help others to feel good and succeed. even makes therapeutic magnets you can put in your shoes! (Their magnets also come in jewellery. You are no longer in danger of being sacked for being pregnant or having children. France. A jacket. Though I’ve talked in detail about Marlies’s success. she had this to say about her climb to the top of the ladder of success: “When I heard it. I wasn't actually that surprised. often pumps or sling backs. However.Petra van der Veen Belgium. Wearing nice lingerie will likely help you feel put together. The working mothers of my generation [1965] were still being sacked if they got pregnant. along with supplemental supports and inserts. Like Marlies. and then my favourite: the shoes. Better construction and support. if we shop only for designer clothing. but also its public face. all the way down to your undergarments. we always win! She is a superb example of a woman who understands this principle. is also recommended. well-made shoes need not look like untreated wood into which one slips a wool-clad foot. You will likely need business attire to suit your new career. Marlies Dekkers’s mission was to help women feel good about themselves. In starting her business.) 148 . make even the most dangerous-looking shoes more wearable. so use caution when dressing for success. Today’s technology has taken footwear to a level of comfort our mothers and grandmothers could only dream of. A Japanese company called Nikken. whether designing clothes or wearing the clothes designed for you by fashion greats. so be sure to wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and empowered. Named 2007 Business Woman of the Year. whether matching or coordinating. and now I've been chosen as businesswoman of the year!” What can you take from this success story? No matter what you hope to be your dream job. the path has already been paved. we may have trouble keeping up with the abundance of the universe. her designs are often worn to not be seen. Key pieces include a classic business suit with both skirt and pants (and remember to add the good lingerie underneath). are a must for any woman. How do you feel when you’re wearing nice lingerie? Do you feel sexy and therefore empowered? How we feel will show on the exterior. so start with a few key pieces and supplement with accessories until you can afford to move up the ladder of success. Classic shoes. which is yet another MLM. you can be taken seriously in the business that you “design” for yourself. including pearl strands. Classic. Think about that. Marlies Dekkers is not just the creative and business brain behind the company. and Thailand. Sometimes it felt as though I was tackling the world with seven league boots on my feet.

these are the easiest to replace with a smaller price tag. Even if you’re on a budget. Buy a few things at a time until your budget will allow you to acquire more. then you’ve impacted the way others see you because the first thing people notice is your mood. and these are always good investments. stick with the classics. including camisoles. you may want professional help to find the styles and colours that are right for you. And quite frankly. trousers. but also to increase your wardrobe. I love the classic look. View your business clothing as investments. we feel great.Women at the Top Dressing for success can become overwhelming. Save enough to have that money work for you in other areas. Speaking of money – try to avoid the charge habit when embarking on a new business. Quality is great. I can’t emphasise how true this concept is for shoes. And if something like a pair of shoes brings you joy. you can easily exchange the accessorising pieces. Yes. but you don’t need to drop down to your prepregnancy weight to look fabulous. but spend accordingly. Charging up personal credit cards for business-related items is a poor justification. the reverse is also true – if we smile. three days. 149 . whether for men or for women. and blazers are around longer. Find a new outfit or pair of shoes – or both. because then you can dig a suit out of your wardrobe five years down the line. Then set a goal for your business income for a set period – a week. If you invest in quality business suits. its feeling good about what we eat. whatever you need to justify this expense. intend for your means to increase daily. so in the beginning. and it will still look so good that people will still be asking where you bought it. though. Feeling good isn’t just about smiling. I do acknowledge. Classic clothing. We can all remember Hamlet’s mood even if we cannot recall much about his soliloquy other than “To be or not to be …” I’m often told that I’m always smiling. shoes included. however. drink. skirts. Getting help from a professional coach or shopper will be worth the money. which is a treat for you as well. but don’t spend outside your means. but classic shoes versus trendy shoes are always a good investment. that trendy shoes can be a fun expression of your personality and mood. Though blouses. and while feeling good makes us smile and feel happy. It’s no secret that many mums gain weight during their childbearing years. Clothes are necessary. but they can bring you joy. may transition in and out from season to season. You’ll find that you’re driven to increase your sales volume in order to make that purchase! This process is a great way to not only increase your business. will easily coordinate with other items. Here is a fun tip. Shoe fashions may be seasonal or yearly. They aren’t something you have to live with for a lifetime.

it isn’t the key to getting the job. and being underweight is often a sign of nutrient deficiencies. and then consciously guarding and promoting your health on a daily basis is what will make you the most beautiful you. Health is the most beautiful state for any human being. Regardless of whether it affects how you feel. teeth. This is where the Transfer Factor and Nutrimetics have made such a difference in my life. and fingernails. They may expect you to dress in casual. there are certain instances when it is better to tone it down! 150 . contemporary styles if you’re working in the fashion industry. and waxing if and when necessary are all part of the professional look. whereas another with a pencil-thin figure may look drawn and sickly. People look at the hands of those with whom they do business. personal hygiene. Even the greatest business moguls today began by learning the trade under someone else. it’s polite to be well presented to others.Petra van der Veen and even how much exercise we get. being comfortable with it. Good health is portrayed in what is right for you. how you appear is. Many resources can help you determine a dress code so that you can dress appropriately for an interview. or they may have higher expectations that involve business dress or even business casual. I not only feel healthy. get acrylic or gel nails done professionally in a salon. Though obesity is never good. Healthy people have a glow about them. so if you don’t have them. Finding that. Employers all have some sort of dress expectations. You can often find these resources on job search websites. As you’ll see shortly. hair. Although I applaud self-expression. Knowing what the dress code is for a prospective employer can be challenging. Clean fingernails are important. Grooming is part of using good manners. A person may have a few extra pounds but radiate health. so we should also make an effort to groom ourselves well. Dressing for an Interview or Dressing to Sell Your Products Most entrepreneurs initially begin by working for someone else. but I also look healthy. there is an ideal weight for you. Fresh breath. Our health shows in our skin.

in dressing to sell a product with an MLM business. blowing the interview is a sure way to not get the job. That said. professional hairstyle Tan or light hosiery Sparse make-up and perfume Manicured nails Portfolio or briefcase Men’s Interview Attire • • • • • • • • • Solid colour. conservative suit Coordinated blouse Moderate shoes Limited jewellery Neat. yet fashionable clothes that fit your working environment. classic suit. use your best judgment. If you’re doing a seminar or hosting a group. in a one-on-one facial with a client. professional hairstyle Go easy on the aftershave Neatly trimmed nails Portfolio or briefcase As you can see.Women at the Top Basic interview attire should include: Women’s Interview Attire • • • • • • • • • Solid colour. whether it is your CV that causes you to not be considered or that short skirt. Note that our expert points out a fashion tip I’ve already given you: the conservative. I don’t know what I would 151 . However. conservative suit White long sleeve shirt Conservative tie Dark socks. dressing up is probably best. Your single client would probably be more comfortable if you had on clean. it isn’t rocket science to dress for an interview. grills. however. keep in mind that you can have fun accessorising once you’ve already landed a career or even just the job! There is a difference. and pierced eyebrow. however. spiked heels. professional shoes Very limited jewellery Neat.

why would we think the need for mental stimulation ends once we leave school? Uniting the Body and Mind One evening every week I do yoga and meditation. When you’re in a state of joy. Finding the appropriate physical exercise that you enjoy will serve at least two purposes: it will help you maintain ideal physical health. Take care to be well rested. Very simply. So make sure you love to do the exercises of your choice. you cannot function. People often harp about physical exercise but ignore exercising the brain. yoga can help you overcome issues of the body in order to still the mind. A regular physical regime is necessary for all healthy human lives. The physical brain is a muscle that needs just as much stimulation as any other part of your body and as we age it is particularly important. and meditating in the company of others who are also enjoying this quiet time. fed. that must travel the spine in order to energise the body. if we know that we need to stimulate the minds of infants and the elderly in order to make their brains function normally. but I would probably think she’d forgotten I was coming in! Taking Care of Business There is no argument that most of us need to move around quite a bit every day. It should never be a chore. You’re communicating that you’d make a good team player. Many studies about how to stimulate the brains of babies have found that babies want to see bright colours and geometric designs. Eastern philosophies will describe the “chi”. So. or life force energy. Many different forms of yoga are available on DVD. and it will bring you joy. Yoga is one of the oldest forms of exercise in the world. but I prefer to attend classes led by someone with a good energy level. dating as far back as 5000 BC. but it also incorporates stretching and strength training. If your chi does not flow. Your physical stamina and energy level on the day of an interview or meeting when with clients should be at its best.Petra van der Veen think if I went to the hair stylist to have my hair coloured and she was wearing a business suit. It helps align your spine so that energy can flow along the central nervous system. and in as positive a state of health in both mind and body as possible. as it not only combines physical exercise and mental relaxation. according to some sources. you radiate health and happiness and people want to be around you. It puts me in a state of energised tranquillity. Westerners have no problem understanding that nerve 152 . It is great for my mind and body. I look forward to my evening out exercising.

Not everything you read or hear is true. 153 . we have difficulty making progress. and maybe even try to convince you of their opinions.Women at the Top impulses must travel along the spine to the nerves. a great response is “I don’t know anything about the topic. Should a participant in the conversation ask for your opinion. Exercise – and. so if you don’t mind. which in turn leads to a more balanced mindset. Visit some place that interests you and look into the history. listening to news reports. these types of discussions are educational! Education doesn’t only happen in the classroom. You will radiate when you experience the stimulation of good discussion. I highly suggest adding yoga to your routine to help you achieve balance. if you find yourself on the outside of a conversation that you know nothing about. new ideas and perspectives can shine through.” The people conversing will likely pause for a question or two. pay attention. Be careful of what you read. of course. However. Current events are a great area of interest for the upcoming business professional or entrepreneur. In the same vein as my theories on exercise. although I’m assuming you already do this at least periodically because you’ve read most of this book. We can glean a lot from visiting places and getting to know the people in the area. it’s important to have something to say. we cannot accomplish much – just as when our office or home is too cluttered. if you really love to play trivia games. yoga is a great part in this – is crucial to success. but I find it very interesting. Enjoy the world. These practices also put you in a better position to discuss anything and everything in social and business situations. I’d like to listen. Often we can be misinformed. When our minds are too cluttered. you cannot function either. but that still stimulates the mind to remain mentally fit. play them regularly to stimulate your mind. and it’s free. Individuals who cannot carry on good conversations stand out because they’re quiet. don’t waste your time figuring them out. Travel. too. and visiting websites and blogs that cover current events is an easy way to stay informed. for me. Reading is a real plus. especially if the topic interests you. Regardless. Without this flow. Also. When you can argue your point without becoming emotionally involved. If you really hate Sudoku puzzles. Reading newspapers. I think mental stimulation should be something that inspires you. Even debates don’t have to be negative experiences. A really good discussion about current events or even history can bring joy – and we know what that does. learn to decipher the agenda of the informer. In the business world. Enjoy the scenery. So either way you look at it. a well-aligned spine allows the proper flow of energy. I’m learning so much from the two of you.

Meet them! Learn a few new phrases in another language. something clicks in your brain and helps you to remember a name. you should seek out their customs and food. 5. Be careful not to come across in an unintentional manner – that is. while helping you have fun and get to know great people. Business Behaviour in Action Personal interaction is a great way to improve your professionalism. Meeting strangers can be quite intimidating for some people. and begin a conversation. “You’re from New York? Oh. but let’s not expect more from others than we’re currently trying to overcome. 3. Enjoy their music. It will greatly improve your conversational and speaking skills overall. but you don’t need to set aside friendliness because you’re afraid someone will take it as an attempt to simply make a sale. 4. but if you aim for a successful career in the business world. It’s quite impressive to meet an individual who can walk into a room.Petra van der Veen Entertain at least one radical new idea each day. For example. Often you’ll find that these ideas come from people you seek to meet. 154 . 1. if you’re not intending to come across as a pushy salesperson. Ask about the person. then don’t try too hard to close the deal up front. Here are some tips to help you overcome any fear you may have of meeting new people. Direct people can be misread. When you look someone in the eyes. introduce himself or herself to a stranger. Often the person you’ve introduced yourself to is also nervous. “What do you do?” “Who do you know at this party?” “Where are you from?” If you’re familiar with any of the person’s responses. Show interest. Offer a firm handshake and say “Hello! (smile) My name is …” 2. Ask the person’s name if he or she doesn’t offer it. Many people are not as comfortable as I am when walking into a room full of strangers. The old expression “When in Rome do as the Romans” implies that when you visit a new place. so don’t expect him or her to carry on the conversation by asking the same of you in return. Repeat the name while looking at the person. It is good manners to do so. I loved it!” Avoid making negative comments about a person’s home or employer. interaction with others is vital. ask or comment. Nervousness is especially prevalent in business socializing. Keep it real and positive. I visited there last summer.

If a person seems uncomfortable with you. Try it with just your office space. Many businesses use interior designers trained in feng shui. even if only on the television? They always make eye contact. That might also very well describe your thought processes. or ancient practices. As mentioned earlier. If you think that a tidy house doesn’t matter as much as your physical appearance. A Space of Success Another thing that helps me feel successful. Have you ever watched truly successful people interact with others. touching is very natural. Pay attention to the other’s body language to see what is being communicated back. Tidy it and compare how effective your workday is versus your workday before you organised. If your mind is cluttered and you’re having difficulty sorting out something – anything – you might find that you have things scattered about.” Being cut off in the middle of a conversation is insulting and can ostracize some people if they feel you are being disrespectful. In some cultures. while also helping me stay organised and focused. is a tidy house. which work with the energy flow of your home or business. But think about it. Respect the person’s space. Like any other changes we try to implement in our lives. feng shui is on par with this sentiment. 155 . organise. being organised takes practice and planning. you’ll accomplish much more. Be the one to rev the engine – but always remember to listen as well. Always end conversations with a phrase like “it was nice speaking with you. It is an art form. and then try to work. Something is driving the conversation. no matter what you feel about the flow of energy in a space. sometimes embrace (depending on the culture). very basic philosophies in which “everything has its place”. Services and companies are available to help with organising people’s lives. consider this: your home or office space is also an outward manifestation of what is going on with you. It will help you develop confidence on your path to success. You may find that you need assistance in this area. shake hands. back off. Like many of the other suggestions in this book. And if you tidy up. being comfortable speaking to strangers in social and business settings takes practice. such as feng shui.Women at the Top 6. and interact. They might employ new.

So if what you really want is something else. It goes back to the Law of Attraction. there is no way to separate out one area and leave it a “mess”. So I’d like to make a few comments and suggestions on this topic. I may make suggestions that run from organising your cupboards to organising your relationships. Sometimes that may mean “clean up your mess”. Perhaps the woman was moving her own furniture into a flat and the partner found this an impressive act of independence.Petra van der Veen Organising You One of my services as a life coach is to help a person sort out and prioritise his or her life in order to function more effectively.” These stories. if you enjoy that he is a sports fan and you’d like to encourage this. completely filthy but radiating happiness. usually centre on the awful-looking person doing something the onlooker admired or found impressive. Ladies. team sportswear is a great way to bond and yet remain fashionable. respectively. however. review the style of your dress that attracts him initially. punk rockers and Goths. Ladies. Like attracts like. first impressions in relationships are important. abundance. The way we present ourselves will attract a person who finds the outward expression appealing Simply stated. if you don’t want a man who is a womaniser. dressing as a punk rocker or Goth will attract. and affluence on a professional level. you might easily give him a gift of a replacement jersey and one for yourself. In fact. In any case. Or maybe she was gardening and singing while doing so. it may give you a reason to attend the match if you’re not normally so inclined. I know several stories of lifetime love affairs where one of the partners will say. then you should consider your dress. If you want to enjoy football matches with the man you love. “I looked just awful when we met. Attracting the Right Relationships from the Beginning Though most of my readers will have picked up this book with the intention of creating success. We must concentrate on getting our entire act together. I’m not saying you can never wear anything sexy or that you have to dress up every day. Your partner may appreciate the kind gesture and return the effort in a way that is special to you. 156 . Maybe the man was working on a car. Your entire life is interconnected. the fact remains that most of us would also like to attract a partner or just keep the one we have.

we feel great.Women at the Top My point in including this section is that our outward expression – who we think we are as expressed in our dress. —Confucius 157 . whether that be working in an office or from home. We all have talents and ideas that can be fostered to bring about our own success. radiating happiness. but I hope that through the pages of this book. and I will never have to work again. not only do others take us more seriously. I’ve encouraged you to open yourself to the world of options that exist and know that you can accomplish any goal you set you mind to. Yet. you decide. Think about times when you knew someone was having a bad day. and so on. No one can change your life for you. Give me work that suits me. we also know when others are having good days because they are smiling. whether that’s to be the world’s best mum or to own your own island – or both. It is important to understand that you can make your own definition of success. They have it together from head to toe. You decide how much time and energy to devote. and you will reap the abundance and wealth that is waiting for you. including our hairstyle and makeup – is constantly communicating something to everyone we come in contact with. You make the rules. the dress was off in some way. When we take care with the way we dress. and wearing something they love (such as shoes or a hat). How was that communicated to you? The person’s mood was sour. As women. we also have existing beliefs and culturally accepted norms that can interfere with that success or lead us to believe that we can’t have what we really desire. we also take ourselves more seriously as being capable Businesswomen at the Top.


Medlien. Eckhart Tolle. Chris Snook. 3 July 2002 Extraordinary Women: Women Who Changed History. Inc. Samuel Clemens BBC. ed. Joe Vitale. The New York Times The Next Trillion. Vicki Opfer. The Rise of the Dutch Republic. Catherine M. Prikken. “Mentors”. “Finding the Right Mentor for You”. Work from the Inside Out: Seven Steps to Loving What You Do.Woman at the Top References Books and Printed Sources: The Autobiography of Mark Twain. Spiritual Marketing. Napoleon Hill. 1998. Part 2 The Secret. Paul Pilzer. John Lothrop Motley. Think and Grow Rich. “The Value of a Mentor: Find Yourself a Mentor”. Volume 1. Edmonson. Karen Dillon. The Holy Bible.. Rhonda Byrne. New Revised Standard Version. 159 . Nancy O'Hara. “A Strategy for Achieving Crown Diamond”. Katherine Hansens. The Power of Now. Wealth Matters.

org http://jobsearch.spartacus.org/public www.dailymail.petravanderveen.ecoquestintl.wethenewme.nl/knowledge/19196.Petra van der Veen Online Sources: About.timethoughts.edu www.co.com/en/lucky_naeroset.html www.quintcareers.nexttrillion.com/opinion/feature/2007/02/06/afghanistan www.co.bbc.com www.alettajacobs.com/mentor_value.ananda.com/od/interviewsnetworking/a/dressforsuccess www.co.com/Investing/Extra/ WomenDirectorsImproveFinancialResults www.org www.com www.ehow.thinkquest.4healthdirect.channels.gatesfoundation.uk/pages/live/articles/news www.moneycentral.uk/2/hi/south_asia www.workingmother.html www.lifemastering.salon.schoolnet.html http://money.com http://topten.about.msn.com: Referrals www.gps.uk http://staff.library.com www.articles.cnn.com www.com/magazines/fortune/mostpowerfulwomen/2007/ http://news.org/12336/success www.it/en/kriyananda/articles www.com 160 .com www.

With her extensive experience. where she learned to blend the expectations of a nonquestioning populace with the realities of the rest of the world. Before having a family she worked in management in the corporate world. but she then began a successful direct-selling business in the cosmetic industry. think that career ends when family begins. Petra now also offers services as a “life coach” in order to share her experience. she would learn. She realised that too many women. 161 . Soon she added another complementary business in health and wellness. ones that keep them from creating successful businesses because they have been taught to focus solely on family. Petra lives in The Netherlands with her husband and two children. After exploring ideas on new businesses available in the global economy. Petra learned to identify common paradigms that many women believe. especially Dutch women. As a result. Through her experiences. she has developed a game plan for women to combine the best of both worlds. Her book is geared towards helping “working mums” continue to reach their personal goals while creating more time for home and family. Petra has taken her management and business experience in the larger corporate environment and expanded both of them in her experience with her own small businesses.Women at the Top About the Author Petra van der Veen grew up in a Dutch military family in Germany but returned to The Netherlands as a teen. and knowledge with men and women who are ready to be their own bosses. Her regimented lifestyle taught her never to question authority and always do what she was told – the norm for military life. but not the norm in the business world. She decided to give up the corporate lifestyle to spend time with her two young children. strength.

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