L

ouisville Youth Group (LYG), an organization that for over
20 years has provided a safe, supportive space for GLBT and
questioning youth, recently announced the establishment
of an alumni group. Open to former members age 21 and over,
Louisville Youth Group Alumni was created with a vision to help
alumni reconnect with one another and, in the process, invest time
and resources to help LYG reach current and future generations of
queer and questioning youth.
Alumni Raquelle Bradley and Matt Spencer share about the
positive impact LYG had on their coming out process and how it
continues to impact their lives as adults. Bradley and Spencer are
staying busy as the work to establish their alumni organization.
“Growing up as a lesbian in a conservative family was not easy. I
was depressed and embarrassed much of my childhood, knowing I was
different. High school included many trips to the hospital, getting on and
off medications, depression, a suicide attempt, cutting, and self-hatred.
The future was a very scary thing to even consider and I avoided thinking
about it at all costs.
I remember wanting to be around gay adults as much as possible to see
what it was like, and if they were really as “evil” as I had been told. Before
Louisville Youth Group (LYG), the only examples of lesbian women I had,
were ones on TV, and online. When I built up the courage to attend LYG,
I was immediately encouraged as soon as I walked through the door. I felt
comforted by how confdent, happy, “normal” they were, and saw hope
for the frst time.
The adults who took the time out that Friday night to watch a movie
with a group of us kids changed my life. After a week of trying to blend
at home and school we love coming on Fridays and being able to be
ourselves.
Like many Louisville GLBT adults, LYG has been there to help me grow
into the strong, outgoing person I am today. Our new alumni program
is an amazing opportunity for all of us to reunite and gather together on
our journeys as GLBT and allied adults in our community. Just by being
yourself, you can change the live of a youth.” – Raquelle Bradley
Shortly before I came out to my parents, I attended my frst meeting
of the Louisville Youth Group, an organization dedicated to supporting
GLBT and questioning youth. My life would never be the same.
Twelve years later, I can easily identify how my involvement in LYG
has shaped my life. The education and empowerment that I received from
LYG provided me with the strength to venture into political activism,
social change and workplace equality. LYG support of self-expression
enabled me to embrace my individuality. Discovering that helped me to
love myself, which in turn makes it easier for me to love the man whom I
call my partner.
LYG is not solely responsible for my life today. But once upon a time,
its leaders and mentors recognized that I, like most GLBT youth, needed
support. I was surrounded with encouragement, care and compassion at a
time when I needed it the most.
© 2009 Allstate Insurance Company allstate.com
Daniel Mason
(502) 966-5178
4610 Outer Loop
Louisville
danielcmason@allstate.com
T h e R e s p e c T e d s o u R c e f o R G L B T N e w s s i N c e J u N e 1 9 9 0
LETTER
www.TheLeTTeRoNLiNe.com VOLUME 22, ISSUE 5 • MAY 2011
T H E C O M M U N I T Y
(See Grateful Youth Group Alums Organize, continued on page 13)
Grateful Youth Group Alums Organize
by Dave VanderPol, Executive Editor, Matt Spencer & Raquelle Bradley
Raquelle Bradley
LYG Alumnae 2009 - 2011
Matt Spencer
LYG Alumni 1998 - 2001
2 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM MAY 2011
MAY 2011 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 3
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THE COMMUNITY
Last month the U.S. Department of Health and Human
Services (HHS) committed to a course of action it will take
in order to improve the health and well-being of the GLBT
community. Their recommendations were developed in
response to the Presidential Memorandum on Hospital
Visitation, which, in addition to addressing the rights of
patients to designate visitors regardless of sexual orientation
or gender identity, directed the HHS leadership to explore
additional steps it could take to improve the lives of GLBT
people.
The agency issued a statement acknowledging that “For
too long, LGBT people have been denied the compassionate
services they deserve. That is now changing. HHS continues
to make signifcant progress toward protecting the rights
of every American to access quality care, recognizing that
diverse populations have distinctive needs. Safeguarding
the health and well-being of all Americans requires a
commitment to treating all people with respect while being
sensitive to their differences.”
The federal agency recommended the following actions
be taken to help meet the community’s “distinctive needs”.
• Later this year, HealthCare.gov, HHS’s innovative
new on-line tool called for by the Affordable Care Act,
will provide additional information of specifc relevance
to LGBT populations. In particular, the website will
allow LGBT consumers to identify health insurance
policies available to them that include coverage of domestic partners.
• HHS will conduct outreach to organizations that serve LGBT communities to make them aware of available funding
opportunities and, in Funding Opportunity Announcements, highlight programs that may particularly beneft LGBT
populations.
• The Department will continue to work toward increasing the number of federally-funded health and demographic
surveys that collect and report sexual orientation and gender identity data, consistent with the President’s support for
evidence-based policies. In collaboration with other agencies throughout HHS, the Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention (CDC) is leading an effort to develop and test questions on sexual orientation and gender identity. The
Offce of the Assistant Secretary for Health is also reviewing existing LGBT data and will generate baselines and targets
addressing LGBT health disparities through the Healthy People 2020 initiative. This process will include meetings with
LGBT data experts and stakeholders to provide transparency and opportunities for input.
• HHS will continue to evaluate ways its programs can ensure equal treatment of LGBT families. For example, HHS
will advise states and tribes that federal law allows them to treat LGBT couples similarly to non-LGBT couples with
respect to human services beneft programs such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families and child care. The Centers
for Medicare & Medicaid Services will also notify states of their ability to provide same-sex domestic partners of long-
term care Medicaid benefciaries the same treatment as opposite-sex spouses in the contexts of estate recovery, imposition
of liens, and transfer of assets. This includes not seizing or imposing a lien on the home of a deceased benefciary if the
same-sex domestic partner still resides in the home. It also includes allowing Medicaid benefciaries needing long-term
care to transfer the title of a home to a same-sex domestic partner, allowing the partner to remain in the home.
• HHS will encourage new and existing health profession training programs, including behavioral health (e.g. mental
health, substance abuse, and HIV) programs, to include LGBT cultural competency curricula. The lack of culturally
competent providers is a signifcant barrier to quality health care for many LGBT people, particularly those who
identify as transgender. HHS’s Health Resources and Services Administration will also convene professional groups
that represent LGBT health providers and students to identify challenges and opportunities for training LGBT providers
and to isolate strategies geared toward increasing culturally competent care for LGBT patients. In consultation with
LGBT communities, HHS will develop cultural competency goals and promote the use of cultural competency curricula
inclusive of LGBT populations in future grants guidance. Moreover, to improve the capacity of practitioners in addressing
behavioral health needs, HHS’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration will utilize existing federal
and national training and technical assistance networks to support the adoption of behavioral health training materials.
• HHS will provide guidance on the array of training and technical assistance available to state child welfare agencies
to support LGBT youth, caregivers, and foster and adoptive parents.
HHS further promised to will continue to address discrimination, harassment, and violence against all individuals,
including LGBT individuals, through domestic violence and other violence prevention programs. This includes
recognizing LGBT populations as underserved communities in 2011 and 2012 Funding Opportunity Announcements
under the Family Violence Prevention and Services Program and, where appropriate, identifying LGBT populations as
target populations for population-specifc grants.
HHS also promised to integrate an even stronger component focusing on LGBT youth in all anti-bullying initiatives and
continue working with the White House, Departments of Education, Agriculture, Defense, Interior, and Justice to ensure that
states, schools, and the general public are aware of the resources available.
Federal Agency Proposes Steps
To Improve GLBT Health
MAY 2011 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 5
THE COMMUNITY LETTER Salutes…
Carla Wallace
for her visionary leadership on behalf of
equality and other social issues. Your
service to our community is truly inspiring!
On Monday, April 25 the Tennessee House approved a bill that would reverse a
Nashville city ordinance barring discrimination against GLBT employees. House
members voted 73-24 in favor of the proposed legislation. Sponsored by Republican
Glen Casada of Williamson County, it would nullify a Nashville ordinance prohibiting
companies that discriminate against gays and lesbians from doing business with the
city.
As of press time, a companion bill was awaiting a vote in the Tennessee Senate’s State
and Local Government committee.
Under existing state law it is illegal to discriminate against a person because of race,
creed, color, religion, sex, age or national origin. On April 5, Metro extended those
protected classes to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
[Copyright 2011, Out & About Newspaper. Reprinted with permission.]
Tennessee House Voids Nashville Non-Discrimination Ordinance
[Reprinted with permission of Out & About Newspaper]
Servicemembers United, a national organization of gay and
lesbian troops and veterans, saluted last month’s decision by the
Navy to drop discharge proceedings against Petty Offce Stephen
Jones. Jones, who is stationed at the Naval Nuclear Power Training
Command in Charleston, SC, was undergoing separation from
the Navy for what his civilian lawyer and Servicemembers
United strongly alleged were trumped up charges based on the
command's suspicion that Jones might be gay.
"The Navy undoubtedly did the right thing in reversing its
decision to discharge Petty Offcer Stephen Jones," said Alexander
Nicholson, Executive Director of Servicemembers United. "We
strongly suspected that his command was trying to fnd a round
about way to discharge Jones because it suspected him of being gay, and we simply were
not willing to stand by and watch a new version of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' emerge under
the new label of 'unprofessional conduct.'"
Petty Offcer Jones was notifed by the Navy in early March that he was going to be
discharged because he refused to accept a non-judicial punishment for "unprofessional
conduct" after dozing off beside another male sailor while watching television. Jones
retained civilian attorney Gary Myers - a former JAG offcer who is one of the most
experienced civilian military defense attorneys in the country - to fght his discharge.
Servicemembers United worked closely with Jones and Myers to help publicize the case
and persuade Navy leaders to retain Petty Offcer Jones.
Navy Retains Suspected Gay Sailor
Targeted for "Unprofessional Conduct"
Stephen Jones
Lindsey Saling, a graduate student in the School of Public Health and Information
Sciences at the University of Louisville, is working in the HIV/AIDS division of the
Kentucky Department of Public Health. Her special focus is on the work being done by
the Kentucky HIV/AIDs Planning and Advisory Council (KHPAC). KHPAC provides
planning and advisement assistance to the Cabinet for Health and Family Services and
the Kentucky General Assembly regarding HIV/AIDS prevention, care and legislation.
KHPAC needs the voice of the communities infected and affected by HIV/AIDS to
help them fulfll their mission.
For more information visit http://chfs.ky.gov/dph/epi/HIVAIDS/KHPAC.htm
or contact Saling at (502) 494-3447 or write to lindseysaling@gmail.com.
Kentucky HIV/AIDS Agency Seek Public Input
The slogan “Straight But Not Narrow” has been around
for over a decade. These four words that have appeared on
countless posters, bumperstickers, t-shirts and buttons are a
way straight allies can succinctly announce to the world that
they support GLBT rights.
A 19 year old straight actor, Jogia Avan, recently started
a website (www.StraightButNotNarrow.org) that uses this
popular slogan – indeed a movement – focused on encouraging young straight men
to get over their prejudice against gay men and embrace equality for all persons.
Complete with videos and other resources, StraightButNotNarrow.org is providing a
forum for straight men to promote a message of equality aimed at their peers.
Have you come across a gay-affrming website that you would like us to tell our
readers about? Tell us all about it by writing to editor@theletteronline.com.
Website Encourages Straight Guys To Respect Gay Guys
BEST OF THE WEB
6 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM MAY 2011
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Attorney
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In mid-April the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals reversed
two prior court rulings and denied an accurate birth
certifcate to a Louisiana-born fve year old boy who was
adopted at birth by a gay couple in New York.
"We expected that the State of Louisiana would respect
the court decrees of other states, just as states have done
for over 200 years—and as the trial court and the earlier
ruling of this court affrmed. But in today's ruling, this
court seems willing to turn away from the full faith and
credit clause of the Constitution just to deny an accurate
birth certifcate to this child adopted by his two fathers,"
said Ken Upton, staff attorney for Lambda Legal. "We are
astonished that Oren and Mickey and their son have been
told by this court today that it is OK for the government to
discriminate against their family."
Lambda Legal represents Oren Adar and Mickey Smith in their case against
Louisiana State Registrar Darlene Smith. Adar and Smith are a gay couple who
adopted their Louisiana-born son in 2006 in New York, where a judge issued an
adoption decree. When the couple attempted to get a new birth certifcate for their
child, in part so Smith could add his son to his health insurance, the registrar's offce
told him that Louisiana does not recognize adoption by unmarried parents and so
could not issue it.
Lambda Legal fled suit on behalf of Adar and Smith in October 2007, saying that the
registrar was violating the Full Faith and Credit Clause and Equal Protection Clause
of the U.S. Constitution by refusing to recognize the New York adoption judgment
because the child's parents are unmarried. The Constitution requires that judgments
and orders issued by a court in one state be legally binding in other states. Further,
a state may not disadvantage some children over others simply because the child's
parents are unmarried. The Louisiana attorney general disagreed, and advised the
registrar that she did not have to honor an adoption from another state that would
not have been granted under Louisiana law had the couple lived and adopted there.
In 2009, U.S. District Judge Jay Zainey ruled against the registrar and issued a
summary judgment ordering her to issue a new birth certifcate identifying both
Oren Adar and Mickey Smith as the boy's parents, saying her continued failure to do
so violated the U.S. Constitution.
In 2010, a three-judge panel of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals agreed and
affrmed the judgment. The attorney general requested a rehearing by the full Court
of Appeals which was granted and resulted in the opinion released yesterday.
Divided Federal Court Denies Accurate Birth Certifcate
Ken Upton
The prestigious Atlanta-based law frm of King & Spalding was recently hired by
Republicans in the House of Representatives to defend the Defense of Marriage Act
(DOMA) in federal court. However late last month the frm withdrew from the case
under pressure from marriage equality supporters and in the face of sharp criticism
from the Human Rights Campaign and other pro-equality groups.
The frm’s action prompted the resignation of one of their senior attorneys, Paul
Clement, who vowed to go ahead with defending the anti-equality law. Clement was
quoted by media sources as saying that he had “a duty to stand against the political
pressure” and see the anti-equality lawsuits through to completion.
In order to defend discrimination by any means necessary, House Republican
leaders agreed to pay the law frm King & Spalding at the rate of $520.00 per hour to
argue that they’re right to deny recognition to legally married couples. The document
caps the cost at $500,000.00, but can easily be increased upon further negotiations
with the frm. As of press time it was not known if Clementwill be compensated at
the same rate that was offered to his former law frm.
“DOMA inficts a great cost on same-sex couples but now its defense is burdening
taxpayers to the tune of $520 per hour,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “The
frm of King & Spalding and their attorney Paul Clement should be ashamed at every
penny earned in trying to justify discrimination against American families.”
There are currently at least nine cases challenging the constitutionality of section 3
of DOMA which bars federal recognition of marriages between same-sex couples. If
the House were to intervene in all nine that would mean less than 100 billable hours
would be spent per case in order to hit the $500,000.00 cap.
“Clearly this fee cap is a lowball estimate that hides the true cost of that House’s
intervention,” said Solmonese. “But the fact that Speaker Boehner has hired such
high priced attorneys clearly shows he’s willing to pull out all the stops to ensure
second class citizenship for same-sex couples.”
Law Firm Caves To Pressure From Marriage Equality
Supporters, Former Law Partner Will Handle DOMA Defense
Dave VanderPol Is Organizing Another
Single Gay Men’s Book Study
Mondays @ 7:00pm | Northeast Louisville Location
For More Details write: editor@theletteronline.com
MAY 2011 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 7
Dear Editor & Community:
The AIDS Service Center Coalition
(ASCC) recently selected Michael York as
Director of the 2011 Louisville AIDS Walk.
The Walk will again be held in September,
but work is already underway to ensure
that it is a huge success.This year’s Walk,
including the Pet Walk, will be held on
Sunday, September 25th.
ASCC is a non-proft corporation. Our
primary purpose is organizing the Walk.
This year will mark its 19th anniversary.
Our Board is made up of people that
provide many of the client services
available for those that are HIV positive
in Louisville and Southern Indiana. We
also have at-large board members from the
community.
When we started, the idea of a fund
raising walk was fairly new. Today there
are many such walks. Due to this change,
ASCC has been studying ways to not only
keep the Walk a viable fundraiser but
also ways we can plan and grow
alternative third party fundraisers.
The ASCC welcomes and would
like to foster such needed third
party events which help assure
that more dollars can be raised
to spend directly on client
services.
Despite the fact that there
are many more competing
fundraisers and an ongoing
recession, the Walk has enjoyed
renewed support from
corporations and individual
donors in Kentuckiana.
In 2010, the Walk raised
$187,000. The last two years
had two of the highest
fundraising totals in the last
seven years. We would look
forward to building upon
that success.
Brad Hampton, our previous
Director, has been a reason for the
current success. Brad was able to
keep expenses for the Walk at less
than 10% of the total proceeds
by securing many in-kind
donations and negotiating
low-cost or no-cost contracts
with vendors, the media and
other providers. While Brad
chose to take a break as Walk
Director this year, he continues
to work behind the scenes.
The ASCC looked at using
a different location to stage
this year’s Walk. Last year,
Louisville Metro waived their
bridge closure fee and their
security fee. We did pay
$1,000.00 to Jeffersonville
for a bridge closure and
security fee. However, after
looking at the possibilities
and balancing locations and
tradition, we have decided that keeping
the current /route was our best choice.
The 2011 Louisville AIDS Walk will
emphasize the celebration of life; therefore,
our theme will be “Walk for Life.” We are
looking into providing more entertainment
including putting together a fash mob
along with other options in order to refect
our theme.
The ASCC invites anyone that would
like to participate in our meetings to see
frsthand what we are about. Our Board
meets every third Wednesday of the month
at 3:30 pm. You don’t have to join. You
can come sit, watch, and ask questions. If
you want to join as an at-large member, we
would be happy to have you. New voices
and new ideas are encouraged by our
organization.
For more information please check out
our website at www.louisvilleaidswalk.
org.
ASCC Executive Committee
LETTER TO THE EDITOR & COMMUNITY
&M^LMA>
"QI>KB>G<>
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REIMAX 100, Inc.
Voice: (502) 635-5936
FAX: (502) 637-8483
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Licensed in Kentucky and Indiana.
OĊering worldwide relocation assistance.
Louisvillian Kera McLain,
the lesbian heroine of George
Morrison’s critically acclaimed
frst novel, Out From It All (www.
outfromitall.com), is back – on
Mars in the 82-page novella
Worlds. She battles harassment,
homophobia and uncaring
bureaucracy to win a spot on this
historic journey, then shocks her
colleagues by uncharacteristically
breaking the rules, risking her
life to save a seemingly doomed
mission.
Life on the Red Planet gives the misft Kera an
unfamiliar yearning for Earth and she heads home for
her greatest adventures yet.
WORLDS is on sale in louisville at
both CarmiChael's bookstores & Day's
expresso & Coffee bar, 1420 barDstown roaD.
& expressions of you Coffee house & Gallery,
18th street anD muhammaD ali boulevarD or, to
orDer, Call iuniverse at (800) 288-4677.
As indicated by this letter from the ASCC Executive Committee, they have decided to spend at least $1,000 to include the Clark Memorial Bridge as part of the
route of the 2011 Louisville AIDS Walk. Given the dramatic increase in the demand for services by member agencies and current economic conditions, do you
think this is an appropriate expense? Send your comments to editor@theletteronline.com and they will appear in our June 2011 issue and presented to the ASCC
Executive Committee.
8 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM MAY 2011
iNcLusiVe
FAITH
commuNiTies
Christ Church Cathedral (Episcopal)
Journeying Together In Christ
421 South 2nd Street (Downtown)
(502) 587-1354
Sundays: 8:15am (Rite I); 10:00am (Choral Rite II)
Concert & Choral Evensong: 2nd Sundays at 5:00pm
www.christchurch.episcopalky.org
Central Presbyterian Church
Celebrating God’s Wildly Inclusive Love
4th & Kentucky Streets (Old Louisville)
Church School: 9:30am
Sunday Worship: 11:00am (Nursery Provided)
Pastors: D. Mark Baridon & Ann J. Deibert
(502) 587-6935 • www.CentralChurchKY.org
Clifton Universalist Unitarian Church
We Need Not Tink Alike To Love Alike
2231 Payne Street, Louisville (40206)
(502) 895-3189 | www.cliftonuu.org
Rev. Todd Eklof, Minister
Sunday Services: 11:00ish to 12:00ish,
Social Hour, Vegetarian Lunch follows services
Metropolitan Community Church
ALL People Are Welcome at the Table
1432 Highland Avenue (Louisville)
(502) 587-6225 • www.mcclouisvilleky.org
Rev. Dee Dale, Pastor
Sunday Morning Worship: 10:30am
Wednesday Evening Worship: 6:00pm
New Beginnings Church
Defned By FAITH, Not Orientation!
1710 East 10th Street, Jefersonville, IN
Pastor Tracy Patton/ (812) 595-0571
Sunday Worship: 10:30am
www.newbeginnings4u.net
Open Door Community Fellowship
Reaching Out to ALL People
3938 Southern Parkway, Louisville
(502) 893-6323 / Pastor Sherry Roby
www.opendoorcommunityfellowship.com
Sunday: 10:30am & Wednesday: 7:00pm
St. Andrew United Church of Christ
Wherever you are on life’s journey,
you are welcome here
2608 Browns Lane; Louisville, KY 40220
(502) 452-1777 / www.saintandrewucc.org
Sunday Service: 10:30 am
2nd Sunday Taize: 7:00 pm
3rd Sundays
3:00pm. Metro Louisville chapter of Parents, Family &
Friends of Lesbians and Gays. First Lutheran Church,
417 East Broadway. For more information call (502) 233-
1323 or visit www.pfaglouisville.org.
Confdentiality respected.
Every Monday
7:00pm. Movie Mania at Gay & Lesbian Community
Center of Cincinnati, 4119 Hamilton Avenue. Free. For
movie titles click on the icon for the GLBT Calendar
page at www.glbtcentercincinnati.com.
Every Monday
7:00;pm. Dayton Gay Men's Chorus practice at
Eternal Joy Metropolitan Community Church,
2382 Kennedy Avenue. For more information write
DtnGayMensChorus@aol.com.
Every Tuesday
2:45pm. GLBT Mental Health Issues Support Group at
The Recovery Center, 2340 Auburn Avenue, Cincinnati.
(513) 241-1411.
6:00 - 8:00pm
Louisville Fairness Campaign Volunteer Meet-Up at
2263 Frankfort Avenue. For more information call Kyle
(502) 893-0788 or write fairness@fairness.org.
6:30pm. Triangle Martial Arts Association: Tae Kwon Do
training for GLBT community. Beginners & experienced
welcome. For location write: m_fearnow@yahoo.com.
7:30pm. Women's Tuesday Night Coming Out Group at
Off The Avenue, 1546 Knowlton Street, Cincinnati. (513)
535-2517.
1st & 3rd Thursdays
7:00pm. Gay Men’s Support Group meets at
Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville, 1432
Highland Avenue.
Every 3rd Friday
7:30pm. “Family-Friendly” Coffeehouse at Day’s
Coffee Shop, Bardstown Road at Edenside Avenue in
Louisville. Music and readings, organized by Marie
Davis, cartoonist for THE COMMUNITY LETTER.
Sundays: May 1 & June 5
3:00pm. Monthly meeting of Owensboro chapter
of Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays. Journey
Fellowship, located at the corner of Alexander Avenue &
18th Street. For information: pfagowensboro@hotmail.
com or call (270) 929-1399.
Mondays: May 2 & June 6
7:00pm. Christian Men’s Fellowship Dinner. Organized
by New Beginnings Church. Location: KT’s Restaurant,
2300 Lexington Road, Louisville. More information:
(812) 595-0571.
Wednesdays: May 4 & June 1
7:00pm. Crossport Crossdresser Support Group,
Cincinnati. (513) 919-4850.
Tuesdays: May 9 & June 13
7:00pm. Cincinnati PFLAG meeting. Mount Auburn
Presbyterian Church, 103 William Howard Taft Road.
For more information call (513) 721-7900.
Tuesdays: May 9 & June 13
7:30pm Dayton PFLAG Monthly Meeting. 667
Miamisburg-Centerville Road (Centerville). For more
information call: (937) 640-3333.
Wednesdays: May 18 & June 15
6:30pm. Indy Bi-Versity, confdential discussion group.
For more information, including the meeting location,
write: indybiversity@yahoo.com.
Saturdays: May 21 & June 18
7:30pm. Monthly meeting of Sienna, transgender
support group in Louisville. For location leave a
message: (502) 291-9220. For more information about the
group visit www.siennatg.org.
Saturday, May 14
9:00pm – 4:00am. Alternative Prom, sponsored by
Kentuckiana Pride Festival at Prime Lounge, 106 West
Main Street, Louisville. Tickets: $10.00 in advance
(online) or $15.00 at the door. For more information visit
www.kypride.com.
May 27 - 30
Memorial Day Weekend Celebration at Timberfell
Lodge, Greenville, TN. Book early for your room or RV
site. For details or to make reservations for this or other
upcoming special events visit www.timberfell.com.
Reservations: (800) 437-0118.
RegionalCalendar
Items of interest to the GLBT community are listed for FREE from non-proft community
organizations, support and social groups. We also publicize events sponsored by businesses and
professionals currently advertising in THE COMMUNITY LETTER.
Please send details at least four weeks in advance of your event. Contact: Dave VanderPol:
editor@TheLetterOnline.com. Be sure type “Regional Calendar” in the subject line of your
message!
Mark England www.LouisvilleGayInfo.com
Selling Louisville's Most DIVERSE Neighborhoods
sponsored by mark england
SAVE THE DATE!!!
Kentuckiana Pride Festival: June 17 & 18
on the Belvedere in downtown Louisville
For more information see page 2.
INCLUSIVE FAITH COMMUNITIES
listings are welcome from congregations
throughout the six state region served by
THE COMMUNITY LETTER. These
pre-paid listings are quite affordable!
The cost is $75.00 for six months or
$135.00 for one year. Information
write editor@theletteronline.com
or call (502) 419-2597.
MAY 2011 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 9
Ren Scheuerman and
his partner, Travis Lay,
enjoy living in the luxury
of Indian Hills (Northeast
Louisville). where they
enjoy building bridges
of understanding with
their neighbors (the vast
majority of which are
rumored to heterosexual).
Recently, a good friend, asked me
laughingly, "Why you hatin'?, while we
discussed a very sensitive issue. That
comment stayed with me for days. Was I
hating? Actually, yes I was. As we know,
everyone loves to talk about love. Love,
love, love. Everybody is loving. But what
about hate? Everybody is not hating?
Let's get a few things on the table frst.
Hate, any hate, can be a very dangerous
feeling. But this article does not focus on
that aspect of hate. I am going to highlight
the positive side of hate. Yes, there is a
positive side to hate.
For many decades now, it seems we
have tried to focus on love and ignore hate.
Love conquers all. Love is great. Without
love, there is nothing. Nice phrases we
often hear. People even say, "I don't hate, I
dislike very strongly, but no, I don't hate."
Seriously? No one believes you. Hate is a
feeling, equal to love, in many ways. And
humans naturally possess the ability to
express both, in equal parts. In fact, both
hate and love can encourage you to do
and say things that might not be in your,
or the person or thing on the receiving
end's, best interest. But what is it about
hate that remains an almost taboo subject
in our culture?
Did we fght and conquer the Nazis
because we loved and cared about the
Jewish people? Yes, but we also hated
Hitler, and rightly so. Did we fght a Civil
War because we loved African American
people? Or because we hated the idea of
slavery? Did we love gay people who
were affected by HIV in the early 1980s
or hated the way they were being treated?
Yes, most of the positive actions noted
above, were motivated by love, but also
by hate. Hate encouraged, fueled, and
drove people to act in a way to change a
situation that was not acceptable.
But, let’s be clear. The difference
between a lunatic and an activist is the
way in which they flter the hate that they
have for a condition that is unacceptable
to them. And remember, the groups we
identify as hate groups, often identify love
as their motivating factor. Their love of a
pure white society, or their love of a pure
Christian nation. They use love, in a way
that we clearly identify as hate. So do not
be confused. Both hate and love can be
motivating factors that create division and
separation in a way that is unproductive
and unloving.
With that said, I have now realized
that hate often motivates me as much as
love. I hate the way gay people, African
American people, women, and most every
minority are treated in this country. It is
the feeling of hate for how they are treated,
and the feeling of love for the people in
these groups, that constantly drives me to
help change their living conditions. I use
that inspiration to help create change that
promotes less discrimination and more
inclusiveness.
So, what is my message? I propose
that hate can motivate you. It can drive
you to change the things that you
know are unequal, unfair, and morally
objectionable. But, do not let it consume
you. Let it motivate you. Hate what is
happening. Love to change it. In the
end, you will fnd that hate and love
mingle dangerously together. Just know
that both can create positive change, if
used correctly. So yeah, go on hating.
Sometimes the greatest productive change
can be fueled by hate.
The Love of Hate by Ren Scheuerman
OUT SPOKEN
I don’t know about you, but my “Co-
Dependent Within” usually goes out of
his way to avoid confronting others at all
costs. Can’t we all just love one another
and get along with each other? Pretty
please!
To heal my “Inner Co-Dependent” of his
tendency to avoid angry people, I’ve spent
many years in therapy and am a member
of Al-Anon, the 12 Step fellowship for
family and friends of alcoholics. How do
you know when an Al-Anon member is
in relapse from their issues? They have
a moment of compassion! Yes, Al-Anon
(and therapy) are great places to learn
how to appropriate confront alcoholics,
abusive individuals and the other types
of “crazymakers” most of us encounter
all-too-frequently.
One of the crazymakers I’ve dealt with
recently, related to my newspaper work,
is a gentleman from rural Kentucky who
called me fve times in one afternoon
(three times in less than 30 minutes!)
asking for a referral to a gay attorney. I
provided him with names of attorneys
who were “gay-friendly” (as opposed to
being “gay”) since I don’t discriminate
against straights and I value straight allies
– thankfully many straight attorneys do
support our rights. As always, I provided
him with the names of individuals
who support this newspaper with their
advertising dollars.
The gentleman caller told me that
he needed an attorney because his late
mother’s attorney was “stealing” money
from him and was part of the “corrupt
legal system” in Metro Louisville. He also
told me that he had a frontal lobotomy
when he was four years old and that the
government had placed a piece of metal
inside his head so they could keep track
of his thoughts. Seriously.
My caller proceeded to tell me that he
had already called all of the attorneys
whose names I’d offered him, but none
of them would return his call. The he
repeatedly asked me for more names of
attorneys who could help him. Each time
I responded, “I’ve given you all the names
that I have to offer”.
This circular discussion went on for
about fve minutes (it seemed more like
fve hours!). Eventually the gentleman
from rural Kentucky agreed to call back
the attorneys he had already called – and
that he would do so after he got sober!
Wow. What a great idea! He further
admitted that he was drunk at the time
he was talking to me. Who would have
thought?
I share this story about the drunken
caller to point out that you need not
assume that all of our advertisers are G, L,
B or T. Indeed many of them are straight.
The ones who self-identify as GLBT are
out and proud. The straight allies are
also out and proud – in their support of
equality. When you contact them, please
do not assume anything other than they
are committed to supporting equality and
are glad to do so publicly through placing
an ad in this publication.
DISCLAIMER: The gentleman who
called asking for a referral to an attorney
also admitted that he had never read
THE COMMUNITY LETTER. One of
our readers had referred him to me.
Our readers are (mostly) sane and well
behaved, don’t ya’ know!
Met Any REALLY Crazy “CrazyMakers” Lately? I Have! by Dave VamderPol, Executive Editor
TRANS FATTY
Agree or disagree, Dave VanderPol
would love to know your thoughts!
Write to him at editor@theletteronline.
com or call (502) 419-2597.
10 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM MAY 2011
Q: I have been in a relationship with my partner for
12 years and over this period of time, we have both been
unfaithful. My partner is very well-endowed and an
exhibitionist and enjoys showing off his penis to others.
Last week we were driving home from visiting friends
when he suggested we stop off at a local cruising area. I
agreed, but deep down I felt really sick about it. He ended
up getting a couple guys to give him oral sex and I was
very hurt and upset by this. Sex with him has become
boring and it’s very much one-sided and he has no sense
of adventure with me. I’m becoming more and more
frustrated and am beginning to feel like the relationship
may not last much longer. What do you suggest? Help!
A: This situation sounds very hurtful to you and I can
appreciate your pain; intervention is necessary as soon as
possible to avoid any further damage. Scenarios like this
come down to an understanding of your sexual values
and boundaries; that is, what sexual behaviors and
activities you are comfortable vs. uncomfortable with as
well as those that you are willing vs. unwilling to tolerate.
Based on your describing a physical feeling of “sickness”
When Sexual Needs Clash In A Relationship by Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, D.H.S., M.S.W.
GAY LOVE DOCTOR
(See GAY LOVE DOCTOR,
continued on pg 13)
Britney Spears made history last month when her
latest album, “Femme Fatale,” dropped and shot to #1
on charts around the world. She has now become one of
a handful of artists to achieve six number one albums.
In anticipation of Britney's latest release, the music
critics and gossipmongers spoke optimistically of
Britney's "comeback," anticipating another electro-pop
masterpiece from the sometimes vapid singer. Many
also pitted the icon against pop's latest queen, Lady
Gaga, who release her new single, "Born This Way," in
February with the album of the same title coming out
in May.
Although many of the writers speak of Britney
and Gaga in fattering terms, most of the articles and
reviews have an underpinning of sexism that I suspect
many journalists are unaware they're promoting, yet
has become standard when speaking about female
singers.
By my count, this is Britney's third "offcial"
comeback. 2007's Blackout was her comeback from
the failed marriage to Kevin Federline, only to be
overshadowed by her apparent psychotic breakdown
and court-ordered conservatorship. Then 2008's Circus
was a return to sanity for Britney, who embarked on a
successful world tour. And now, her 2011 album is a
comeback from -- vacation?
Yet, the terminology surrounding male performers
is less grandiose. Coldplay releases albums far less
frequently than the aforementioned pop princesses,
but critics don't hail each album release as a musical
resurrection. Usher is simply praised for his ongoing
contribution to pop music. And Enrique Iglesias, who
scored big in 2010 with "I Like It," hadn't seen a top
ten hit since 2001's "Hero" -- but you'd never know it
from reading album reviews, many of which merely
compared the two singles as though they existed in the
same time and place.
Although women continue to dominate the pop
music industry, the level of respect and acceptance
remains at an all time low. Sadly, Madonna is probably
to blame for this ongoing devaluing of musically-
inclined women. With every album, she reinvented
her image -- unintentionally shooting herself in the
foot and hindering her ability to simply produce music
without a gimmick. Critics and fans began to expect
this constant musical and image shift, and 25 years into
her career and Madonna's image is rarely stagnant and
never neutral.
The constant pressure to reinvent oneself is, itself,
inherently sexist; as it assumes that female pop singers
have such little musical value that they have to perform
behind smoke and mirrors in order to get noticed. It
has also produced media-created rivalries. Why does
it have to be a competition between Gaga and Britney?
Journalists also treat Black performers in a similar
manner, cultivating feuds among male and female hip
hop artists that frequently have no basis in reality.
I'm sure critics would point toward album sales as
indication of success of these perpetual comebacks
and reinventions, but few artists (including Madonna)
would label such efforts as never-ending comebacks.
That's why we follow singers and bands, really.
Something about their musical evolution rings true for
us and so we silently agree to go on this journey with
them.
She may not be Paul McCartney, but Britney's been
steadily releasing pop music for thirteen years now so I
think we can safely say she's established and no longer
"coming back" from anything.
Don’t Call It A "Comeback" by Eric Jost
GAY & FEMINIST
Eric Jost is a freelance writer living in California.
His work ranges from frst-person narratives to
commentaries on pop culture and politics. You can
check out more of his work at www.eric-jost.com.
MAY 2011 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 11
CLASSIFIED ADS
CHUBS & CHASERS GROUP
Now forming a social group for
big men and their admirers. 1st & 3rd
Tuesday evenings at 7:30pm. Crescent
Hill location. For more information
write famboyantbohemian@gmail.
com.
GIFT SUGGESTION
Give the gift of affordable fne
art. Acrylic on canvas paintings
featuring the Urban Realism genre
from Louisville artist David Walinski.
View his paintings online: www.
davidwalinski.com.
HELP WANTED
Timberfell Lodge Men's Resort and
Campground has staff positions open
for the 2011 season. Live on property
and wage package. Contact timberfell@
timberfell.com or 800-437-0118.
advertising@theletteronline.com or call (502) 419-2597
Classifed Advertising in THE
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LOUIS PHILPOTT
4033 Taylorsville Road
Louisville, KY 40220
Mobile: (502) 836-1255
FAX: (502) 400-2796
louissellslouisville@gmail.com
Each Offce Is Independently Owned & Operated
Century 21 Joe Guy Hagan
They say that we LGBTers just LOVE our homes. Is
this true? Well, whether we love our home or hate it, I
would like to share some ideas with you about how to
create a home that brings you happiness. For most of us,
we spend more time and money on our home than we do
on anything else; but do we end up with homes we really
love? Here are some ideas for your consideration:
On some level, our homes refect who we are and who
we want to be: Ask yourself: what kind of environment
do you want to live in? What sorts of “things” do you like
around you? Do you want something chic and sleek or
comfortable and low maintenance? Your home is a place
where you get to “play” with stuff like paint, furniture
and accessories. Give yourself permission to get creative
with it. If you like to mix mid-century modern with
Italian baroque, why not? Why not decorate and design
your home to express, amuse and please yourself?
Is your house never good enough? Are you constantly
spending money on it? Decorating or remodeling your
home when you’re unhappy is like standing in front of the
refrigerator, opening the door and saying, “Okay food,
make me feel better.” Neither food nor home decorating
can make us happy. Plus, if you watch all those home
decorating/remodeling shows, you’ve probably noticed
that the media’s image of the “ideal” home changes.
Continually. Since there is always cool new home décor
available, how do we know when to buy and when to
chill?
Homes can be places of great amusement, comfort
and inspiration. Or they can be "STATUS TRAPS" with
all the pressures of "never quite good enough". Many
a client has lamented to me that they and their partner
spent thousands of dollars on a home renovation project
because of a seemingly harmless conversation that went
something like this: “You know, ------- and ------‘s house
looks so good. They just redid their kitchen/bathroom/
doghouse and it looks fabulous...we should do something
like that too. Our place is a dump compared to theirs."
A nice home reminds me of that line from the L’Oreal
commercial: “Because I’m worth it!” Of course you
deserve a nice home flled with beautiful objects…but
racking up a debt that will cause you months (or years) of
worry isn’t what you deserve, is it? Many relationships
are pushed to the edge over home remodeling projects;
it’s a huge relationship stressor. Money plays a big part
in this.
Many people think that you need to have a lot of
money to be creative in your home. Sure, money helps
if you want a new kitchen, but if you’re simply bored
or want to change things around, moving the furniture,
Our Happy Homes by Michael Kimmel, M.A., M.S.W., L.C.S.W.
LIFE BEYOND THERAPY
(See LIFE BEYOND THERAPY,
continued on pg 13)
www.TheLetterOnline.com
12 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM MAY 2011
I don't think I was born to my parents at all. I think they
opened a box of lime-favored Jell-O, ripped the top off
the brown packet inside, poured the powdery contents
into a bowl, stirred in boiling water and ice cubes, and-
-voila!--there I was. Ready to be poured into a waiting
mold. All my life I've let others defne my boundaries;
decide what shape I am to fll.
On the other hand, I'm convinced my friend Bill began
life as a hawthorn tree. His parents planted him in the
good earth, watched their sapling son grow tall, strong
and iron-willed. Like the sharp-spiked hawthorn, Bill can
be worse than prickly if you get too close. Grab him the
wrong way and you'll be sorry.
Bill seems to have an inborn ability to summon
boundaries. Something comes up automatically in him,
some self-protective mechanism which I totally lack.
He swells up like the puff adder who when threatened
pretends to be a cobra. Mess with him or those he loves
and you're in for a world of trouble.
Mess with me and I probably won't even notice. Or if I
do, I'll tell myself I deserve whatever ill treatment comes
my way. I am the puffball. Threaten me and I just sit
there. Step on me and I emit a little gasp and spew green
spores into the air.
Growing up, I didn't know I was gay. Didn't know the
meaning of the word. Didn't know there was a word to
describe who I was inside. Knew I was different; couldn't
tell you how. Knew that difference was wrong. Knew I
was somehow fawed, disordered down deep inside,
sinful, wrong. All this without ever learning there was a
term to describe me, without learning there were others
like me, that who I was had validity in and of itself.
Instead, I picked up on the message that who I was
inside was worthless. That if I were to fnd acceptance
and place in the world, it would be granted me to the
extent I made my mother happy, to the extent I followed
religious teaching, to the extent I paid attention in school
and followed the rules.
I grew adept at molding myself into the exact shape
of others' expectations. My parents wanted an obedient
cheerful child. Voila. The church wanted a good boy, one
who told his friends about Jesus, who memorized Bible
verses and volunteered time and energy. Voila. Teacher
wanted answers, homework done, legible handwriting,
no lip. Voila.
Later I met the demands of professor, employer,
girlfriend, fancée, wife with similar aplomb. I look back
now and shudder to remember my boss praise me with,
"You have a real knack for knowing what I want." Voila.
That's how I survived in a world where I felt nobody
would want me if they really knew who I am. Given a
whiff of your expectations, I'd mold myself to them.
Captain Jell-O rides again!
I wish I could say coming out changed all this. My
mother would probably say so. She experienced my
coming out as a slap in her face. To me, in coming out
I signaled I would no longer kowtow to what and who
others wanted me to be. At least in this one area I would
claim my right to exist. I would claim my own life. I would
live into it. My announcement met with something less
than widespread acclaim.
"Bastard," said family. "Not here you won't."
"Fired," said employer. "Not here you won't."
"Reprobate," said church. "Not here you won't."
"Betrayer," said wife. "Not here you won't."
Suddenly I was running naked through a forest of
hawthorn trees. Bloody business, that. Some of the
puncture wounds are still tender, 16 years later.
I have not altogether broken with the past; coming out
did not reshape me into an entirely new person. I'm still
beset with Jell-O-like tendencies. What's changed for me
is that I now ride though life with greater awareness of
when and how I'm shaping myself into another's mold.
Sometimes I make conscious choices to shape myself
this way or that; sometimes I refuse to bend and fex.
Sometimes only afterwards do I say, "Gosh, how very
Captain Jell-O of me!" I then resolve to be on the alert,
watch for it the next time. I forgive myself and move on.
I'll never be a hawthorn tree. It's not my nature. And
why be something I'm not? I'm proud of myself those
times I ask this same question when I feel the urge to take
up my Captain Jell-O cape and ooze to the rescue.
Captain Jell-O Rides Again by Bryn Marlow
OUTLOOK WITHIN
Bryn Marlow (gayfeather.blogspot.com) lives with his
husband Dave on a 1930s Indiana farmstead where
they raise chickens and fowers.
The anti-bullying bill which stalled in April in the
Kentucky General Assembly – after arguments that
it could infringe on homophobes’ free speech rights
– is geared to help the victims of verbal, physical and
emotional abuse.
An example from my high school years in the 1970s,
however, shows that House Bill 370, which would prohibit
bullying because of a student's sexual orientation, race or
religion, could protect the perpetrators, too.
And I base that fnding on a study conducted over
33 years. That’s how long after a bullying incident – a
homophobic slur in the ninth grade – it took the bully to
attempt to apologize. It wasn’t just a single word in 1972
that prompted this phone call on a winter night in 2005
resulting from an arduous pre-Facebook era search.
It was four years of mean-spirited exclusion in high
school because of the perception that a classmate was
gay.
You may be picturing my role in this story from that
cold night beginning when I picked up the phone to hear
from my tormenter, but here’s a shock: I was the caller.
Yes, despite my having worn a McGovern badge and
leading a debate team against the war, I had harbored
and unleashed anti-gay bigotry. It was the 1970s, and
while the sexual revolution had full access to our minds,
the feminist and fairness ideals needed to counter the
heterosexist dimensions of that revolution were yet to
reach us.
There was another reason, however, why my
resentment of this young man – I’ll call him Mike – was
so virulent. I did protest too much.
I had grown up fatherless and physically slight, then
soared about a foot in height at age 13 and developed a
deep voice so suddenly that some of my mom’s friends
wondered if she had remarried when I answered the
phone. My same-sex attraction, I decided, was part of the
pre-macho me and when it refused to cease, I took it out
on Mike – and on the world’s LGBT population.
About a year after I left my educationally and
architecturally mediocre high school, I began the process
of graduating from homophobia, calling a radio talk
show in 1977 to say that Anita Bryant was all wrong
(I’ll never forget how happy my mom listening in
another room was after that call), joining the National
Organization for Women and People for the American
Way, becoming a crusading journalist for human rights,
gloriously embracing my own bisexual orientation and
writing lesbian feminist science fction novels.
This would seem more than adequate atonement for a
slur, or even four years of callous exclusion so long ago
that the dust from Stonewall hadn’t completely settled.
Still, I needed to reach out to the specifc target of my
hatred. Would the pain I inficted be too deep and old to
heal?
“Oh, everybody was bad to everybody,” a puzzled
47-year-old Mike said. Continuing in a confdent, dulcet
tone, he preferred talking about his family, beautiful
house, literature collection, love of chess and lucrative
sales manager job than some fuzzy ancient recollections
of irrelevant teens-will-be-teens misdeeds.
Research into the effects of bullying indicated that this
call was supposed to begin rehabilitation from wounds.
As I heard Mike describe his abundant life -- while I sat
in the drafty kitchen of my two-room effciency, where I
slept on a mattress 12 feet from a mousetrap – I realized
that it was indeed time to start the rehab.
The frst step toward my healing was to let go of a past
during which I scarred myself by being a bully. Tell that
to your state legislators when they suggest the rights of
bullies may be infringed by House Bill 370.
Bullying: A Real Life Incident by George Morrison
BI THE WAY
George Morrison, of Louisville, stepped down in
March as editor of the Fellowship of Reconciliation’s
newspaper FORsooth and is the author of the novels
Out From It All and Worlds.
MAY 2011 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 13
toward your partner’s preferences, it
would appear that your value system
likely opposes such activities and your
inclinations probably lean more toward
monogamy and a sexually adventurous
lifestyle predominantly as a couple. The
distress you’re feeling is originating from
the fact that you’re giving your partner
permission to do something that goes
against your grain and value system. The
associated pain is a natural consequence
of allowing this behavior to continue and
it would be important for you to examine
the reasons behind your accommodating
your partner’s behavior when it seems to
hurt you so badly.
You and your partner would beneft
from having a conversation about your
sexual needs and values to determine
if there is a goodness-of-ft with your
sexualities. After listing those sexual
behaviors and activities that you both
desire, the two of you can then go about
deciphering between those sex acts and
beliefs that match and those that are in
confict. Can compromises be made?
Can a new sexual contract be made that
respects each person’s values and ideals?
If you’ve already had this discussion
and your partner continues to partake
with a sexual smorgasbord that opposes
your preferences, his behavior could be
deemed abusive. If you haven’t told him
how you feel, it will be critical for you
to do so as soon as possible because he
can’t modify his behavior or work with
you on meeting each other’s needs in an
agreeable fashion if he doesn’t know that
it bothers you, and it will require you
to assert yourself and speak your truth
directly and unapologetically. If you have
spoken and have come to a mutually-
agreeable decision and he continues to
engage in this behavior and you say
nothing, it becomes your responsibility
to stop the destructive pattern. By going
to the cruising areas with him, you are
enabling his behavior and giving him the
message that you’re OK with the fact that
your needs don’t matter. Stop! Please don’t
do this to yourself. Your needs matter and
count and you deserve to have a sexual
relationship with a partner in which you
feel safe and respected and who wants
to work together as a team to cultivate a
pleasing erotic life in which you are both
satisfed.
If neither one of you are willing to
compromise, this may potentially be a
situation of incompatible sexual values
and you will have to determine if the
relationship is viable under this type of
pressure. Value differences tend to be
leading cause of breakups because values
are so core to who we are and what we
stand for; when we compromise them, it
tends to have the effect of “eating away” at
us and will be a constant shadow menacing
you. Determining the role that you want
sex to play in your life and considering
the other aspects of the relationship and
their alignment with your ideal life and
partnership will be important to refect
upon with your decision-making.
All the best with this, my friend. You
deserve a relationship of trust, respect,
and sexual vitality, but both partners must
co-create together a vision of what would
be most meaningful to them. I hope you
and your partner can come to some new
understandings and agreements that will
be fulflling to both of you in the long-
run, but please be sure not to settle and
sacrifce who you are by allowing fear to
hold you back from living your life the
way you ultimately want it to be. You
deserve that happiness, but only you can
conceive it and make it happen.
GAY LOVE DOCTOR, cont’d from pg 10
©2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski,
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the pictures, the lamps or your “objets
d’arte” around is free and can be a lot of
fun. Don’t depend on bags of money to
make your home the way you want it.
We all know people with tons of money
whose homes are no fun to hang out in
(no names, please).
Is your house depressed? An always-
messy house may refect depression. “I
just don’t care” can be about casual living
or about giving up because it all seems
too much. If you can’t fnd things and
don’t have clean clothes or a pleasant
place to eat, sleep or hang out, then your
home isn’t working for you, it’s working
against you. This isn’t about having a
“fashionable” home, it’s about having a
home you enjoy. If you hate to decorate
or think you’re missing that gene, consider
hiring someone to help you…or, if money
is tight, ask a friend whose taste you
admire. On the other hand, if you don’t
care about your home and it’s chaotic and
disorganized, you may be depressed. Talk
with a good friend, mentor or counselor. A
casual home is a lifestyle choice; a chaotic
and dirty home, however, is a problem.
Get some help with it.
Luckily, there is no single LGBT “style”
for your home, your clothes or yourself:
you can be super butch and decorate with
leather and denim or you can fll your
home with challis (look it up) and fuffy
pillows. The most important thing about
designing and decorating your home is
to be in touch with your motivation for
changing things. For example, if you’re
clear that you want to change your home to
achieve a certain result, then go for it. But,
your home is fne and you’re comparing
your home with other people’s places and
fnding yours lacking, then maybe your
lesson is to trust yourself, your taste and
your preferences. The only RIGHT way to
decorate is to do what makes you happy…
regardless of what the magazines say. Try
this on as your new mantra (cross-legged
posture optional): COMPARISON WITH
OTHERS IS BAD. BEING INSPIRED BY
OTHERS TO DO MY OWN THING IS
GOOD.
LIcensed Psychotherapist
Micheal Kimmel is a native of
Ohio and former resident of
Louisville. He offers individual
and couple therapy from his
practice in San Diego. For
more information about his
counseling practice visit www.
lifebeyondtherapy.com.
LIFE BEYOND THERAPY, cont’d from pg 11
Now, I am reaching back to honor this time-tested, commendable organization for the
work that they have done--and to assist in the work that lies ahead. As a Louisville Youth
Group Alumni, I recognize that we in this Community have the responsibility to guide
our Youth from the challenges and defeats of our past into the constant progress--and
leadership--of a better, more equitable future for all.
Stop for a moment to recall who and what helped you to reach the successful
relationships, careers and beliefs that you hold dear today. What have you done for them
lately? – Matt Spencer
If you are an LYG Alumni 21 years of age and older, the alumni groups would
like to hear from you. Membership is free. Check out our upcoming Alumni
events and other information by visiting "Louisville Youth Group" on Facebook
or write to lygmail@Louisvilleyouthgroup.com.
GRATEFuL YOuTH GROuP ALumS ORGANIzE, cont’d from pg 1
Releasing Fear &
Embracing Love
In the midst of a homophobic culture it is all too easy
to live in FEAR. Yet LOVE is much more empowering
and a clearly healthier choice than fear. One of our
readers who made many of his decisions during
the early part of his life based on fear challenges
our readers to let go of their fears and embrace the
positive power found in giving and receiving love.
Let go of living as a victim and accept responsibility for
your choices.
Instead of being re-active, take the initiative to be pro-
active.
Take time to examine yourself, no longer denying your
“shadow self ” and instead embrace the beauty found in
your weakness.
Stop being a user of other people and instead become
of service to others.
Get out of your comfort zone and become open to
learning and incorporating new ideas.
Instead of viewing pain as bad, see it as a source
of information that can bring about positive
transformation.
Stop manipulating others and begin to directly ask for
what you want and need.







This message was paid for by a member of the GLBT community.
14 The COMMUNITY LeTTer www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM MAY 2011
[Schmidt’s Restaurant und
Sausage Haus; German Village;
240 East Kossuth Street, Columbus, OH
43206. (614) 444-6808.]
We traveled out of state this week and
one of our destinations was Columbus,
Ohio, home to the Buckeyes, the capital,
the world famous Columbus Zoo and,
most importantly to us gastronomes,
Schmidt’s Restaurant und Sausage Haus.
Located in German Village, Schmidt’s
has been in operation since 1886 making
sausage and other German delicacies. Our
trip to Columbus could not be complete
without sampling some of their famous
sausage and embracing the essence of
German Village.
Due to its popularity, we had to wait 20
minutes for a table on a Wednesday night.
The restaurant has a variety of dining
rooms and each of their exposed brick
walls are adorned with paintings, beer
steins and other memorabilia. The wait
staff is dressed in traditional biergarten
garb which leaves much to be desired
from a fashion point of view. We were
seated in the smallest of the rooms which
also houses the famous German Autobahn
Buffet. While I enjoyed a glass of German
white, my companion decided upon a
beer fight consisting of 6 different brews.
We perused the buffet which offered such
fare as salad and bean soup, sauerkraut,
German potato salad, 4 different sausages
and macaroni and cheese. Although the
selection was tempting, German food is not
known for its lightness and a full tummy
is not easy to digest so late at night.
The obvious favorite is the sausage but
Schmidt’s does offer something for those
yearning for s schnitzel or cabbage rolls.
There is also some American fare such
as Chicken and Hamburgers. Prices are
reasonable, starting at $7.50 for a Bratwurst
sandwich up to $14.75 for Weiner Schnitzel
und Gravy. My one friend was intrigued
by the Bahama Mama sausage and
ordered the platter ($10.75). The sausage
is made up of beef and pork and hickory
smoked and spiced with Schmidt’s secret
ingredients. This dish was named by
Columbus Monthly as one of the “10 best
entrees” in the city. The platters are served
with German Potato Salad, homemade
applesauce and a bun. My friend found
the dish quite tasty and the crisp sausage
had a latent spice to it which eventually
excited her taste buds as she devoured the
meal.
Another companion is not much a
sausage fan so she ordered the Chicken
Griller ($8.50) which was basically a
Grilled Chicken Sandwich. It was served
on a pretzel roll but she found the meat
bland and was not too impressed.
My partner was thrilled with the choices
of traditional German food and started
with a cup of thick, rich bean soup ($3.35).
It was a hard choice between the German
Meatloaf ($11.00) and the Weiner Schnitzel
($14.75) but the Weiner won out at the
end. Meals come with a choice of 2 sides
and a dinner roll. He selected the Potato
Pancakes with Applesauce and the Braised
Red Cabbage. He enjoyed his veal which
was served with a savory mushroom
sauce but seemed more enamored of the
potato pancakes. These were deep fried
and the size of silver dollars and he ate
his with a sprinkle of sugar on the disks.
I ordered the Old World Sausage Sampler
($11.25). I wanted to try all of their famous
links but on a smaller scale than the buffet.
I had knockwurst, bratwurst, Bahama
Mama and a milder version of the Bahama
Mama. All were served on a bed of warm
sauerkraut along with the requisite potato
salad and applesauce. Each wurst had its
own distinct favor and had been cooked
to a lovely crispiness so that the sausage
DINING OUT
Embrace Your “Inner German” by Beth Ann Rubin
KISSES by Marie Davis is sponsored by Highland Chiropractic | Dr. Charles Copeland, DC
To request your frst appointment with Dr. Copeland, visit www.HighlandChirorpactic.com
Marie Davis is an internationally syndicated cartoonist. Her lesbian cartoon strip is published in fve languages. Her frst novel, Hey Diddle Diddle — for Lesbians
and Other Grownups, can be purchased through Amazon.com. Her e-mail address is mmmarie1961@aol.com.
(See DINING OuT,
continued on pg 15)
MAY 2011 www.TheLeTTerONLINe.COM The COMMUNITY LeTTer 15
juices almost escaped when you cut into
the casing.
The frst item on the menu at Schmidt’s
is dessert, specifcally, their famous Jumbo
Cream Puff. My chicken eating friend
felt entitled to eating a Cream Puff since
she did not really enjoy her sandwich.
Since we all knew we would get a bite,
we encouraged her to order one. The
puff weighs in at a hefty half pound and
includes the pastry shell flled with vanilla
pudding and doused with hot fudge sauce.
Although its size seemed intimidating,
we were able to polish off the dessert with
little trouble. If the puff is too much for
the feint of dessert, you can also choose
from such favorites as German Chocolate
Cake and Apple Strudel. And the dessert
case is at the front of the restaurant as you
enter so you can anticipate the end before
you even get started.
[Pompilio’s, 600 Washington Avenue,
Newport, KY 41071. (859) 581-3065.]
We also spent some time in Cincinnati
on the way home and enjoyed dinner at
one of my old haunts, Pompilio’s, located
in Newport. When I lived in Cincinnati,
Pompilio’s was the go-to spot for favorful
Italian food at reasonable prices. Now the
food and wine is still good and the décor
has improved from the stark white walls
and unfattering lighting of the past to a
softer look with muted lights and a Tuscan
inspired design. The menu encompasses
all of your Italian favorites including
classic and specialty pastas, beef and
chicken items, veal and fsh dishes and
a multitude of combinations you can put
together yourself. Prices range between
$9.25 to $16.95 with most entrees costing
around $11.00.
DINING OuT, cont’d from pg 14
May 6 - 8
GREEK RUSH WEEKEND
Saturday Night Fraternity &
Toga Party at Te Tavern
May 13 - 15
DADDYS &
ADMIRERS WEEKEND
A special weekend for sexy
men of a certain age
and their admirers!
May 27 - 30
Memorial Day Weekend
Book early for your favorite
room or RV site!
June 9 - 12
3rd Annual Camp Bear
Come enjoy this
fur-friendly event...
Includes Mr. TimBear Contest!

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