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Treating Sexual Addiction in the New

Media Frontier

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S


Founding Director - The Sexual Recovery Institute
Director of Sexual Disorder Programs, Elements Behavioral Health

Promises, The Ranch & The Sexual Recovery Institute

Note: This presentation will demonstrate methods utilized to access


online sexual experiences. Explicit images will not be shown, however
please carefully consider if learning such information might prove
harmful to your personal health or recovery.
What comes to mind first when
you think of this group of men?
Fmr. President Bill Clinton
Fmr. Senator Larry Craig
Fmr. Governor Elliot Spitzer
Fmr. Congressman Chris Lee
Tiger Woods

They are men whose sexual behavior


MORTALLY WOUNDED their ability to
lead ... but what if their problem had been
drinking or drugs e.g Patrick Kennedy?
Is Sexual Addiction A Mental
Health Diagnosis ?

• Was in the DSM III


• Was out of the DSM IV
• Now being considered for the DSM V
(Hypersexuality)
Sex Addiction is not
‣Axis I Symptom- we out ADD/OCD/Bi-P
‣A Moral or Religious Stance
‣Fun
‣Fetish / Paraphilia
‣Same Sex Interest or Activity
‣Crystal Meth Addiction
‣Sexual Offending - non consensual
Sex Addiction is not
about sex or orgasm.
It is about the search for
sex and desire for
orgasm.

It’s a Process Addiction.


Intense Fantasy Induces
Neurochemical Release

‣Serotonin - mood stability


‣Dopamine - pleasure
‣Adrenaline - energy, jolt
‣Endorphins - calm
‣Oxytocin - love/jealousy
Typical Sex Addict Behaviors
• Compulsive Use of Porn (with or without masturbation)
• Anonymous Sex (met online or in sex clubs etc.)
• Adult Bookstores and Strip Clubs
• Sexual Exchange (i.e. Drugs or Favors for Sex)
• Prostitutes and Massage Parlors
• Cruising, Intriguing, Objectifying, Seduction
• Pushing Boundaries, Boundary Violations
• Multiple Affairs / Anonymous Infidelity
• GPS SmartPhone Hook-ups
• Sexting / Abusing Social Networks / Virtual Sex
SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE
How long did it take for the following
technologies to reach 50 million
participants following public introduction?

• Radio - 38 years
• Television - 13 years
• Internet - 4 years
• Social Networking - 16 months!
Whatever comes next will happen close to
instantaneously. It will be in our lives before we
know it our fully understand it. So get ready.
The NEW GENERATION GAP
W'@!?&P S#O!?&P
•!"#$%&'!()*#+ M !"#$%&'!()*#+
•!,)-.!/!,)'' M !N)*3!O27F!E)9P%7#*+
•!0#'#12+2)3 M !0F#!H37#*3#7!/!#Q42R#
•!421#!52)'#3-# M !!6#*+)3&'!6*21&-C
•!6&7*2)8+9 M !!G,%@#L!H37#*P#*+)3&'!E)99%32-&8)3
•!,#-*#&8)3&'!:*%;!<+# M !52*7%&'!,#&'27C
•!42=#*&'2+9!>?#3@#*A!")-2&'!/! M !")-2&'!S#7O)*.23;!T!)3;)23;!
,&-2&'!#B%&'27CD 299#@2&7#!237#*-)33#-8127C
•!EF2'@*#3!+##3!/!3)7!F#&*@ M !S#%*&'!:#1#')P9#37
!GH!I)3J7!42+7#3!7)!C)%KL GH!E&3J7!"##!)*!U#&*!V)%KL

In essence, we older, wiser, professional folks


are inadvertently becoming invisible!
Now think about what has changed in our
experience of sexual content & sexual
contact over the past 20 years

• Access
• Affordability
• Anonymity
SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE
* Cooper, Del Monico et al 1998 - 1999
Sexual Access Timeline
1.0 Pre-history - 1890
• Recreational and Intimate Sexuality
• Cave, drawn and painted pornography
• Affairs & Infidelity
• Public Baths
• Prostitutes & Harems
SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE
• Masturbation to fantasy
Sexual Access Timeline
2.0 1890 - 1970’s
All of the above plus ...
• Photographic Porn
• Porn Movies (XXX)
• Adult Bookstores, Porn shops
• Bath-houses & Strip clubs
SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE
Sexual Content Access
3.0 1977 - 1990
All of the above plus ...
• Video = VCR and BETA
• Phone Sex
• Softcore on cable TV- at home
• “Adult” and “Escort” Sections in Yellow Pages,
magazines and newspapers
SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE
Sexual Content Access
4.0 1990 - 2004
All of the above plus ...
• BBS - Online bulletin board systems (BBS)
• Websites for porn and prostitution
• Online Porn and file transfer sites
• Chat Rooms
• Online Hook-ups - i.e. craigslist
• Webcams and interactive live sex
Sexual Content Access
5.0 2004 - Present
All of the above plus ...
1. Sexting and live video streaming from your
smart phone
2. Smart Phones with GPS hook-up apps
3. Social Networks (facebook, twitter, mySpace)
4. Virtual World Sex (2nd-Life, virtual games etc)
5. 3-D Imagery and Teledildonics
About Sexting

Eewwwwwwwww!
SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE And some are using it to offend ...
3-D Adult Video in the News
2011

• The first 3D porn full feature film made for


modern stereoscopic home TV has arrived…
It’s called Kama-sutra.
• Sharp’s 3D mobile video will support user
movie creation which, in turn, will promote the
viewing of 3D content — both amateur low-
cost video and corporate premium content.
SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE
About Social Networks
The Economist is reporting that pornography-
related web activity is decreasing in America (as a
proportion of total visits), as more and more people
are opting to participate in social networking sites
such as MySpace, Bebo and Facebook. *
What does this say about our work and the work to come,
especially in regard to women who make up 45% of all social
network involvement?

*The Economist 2010 and Hitwise.com


SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE
facehooked?
“Before entering treatment I was spending up to 5 hours
a night some nights cruising facebook for sex. Well, not
for sex exactly, it was more cruising for faces and profiles
I thought might respond to me. I was looking for friendly,
engaging women, then leaving messages, poking them,
trying to get a response from someone who cared. Then
we would take it from there ... ”

- A 32 year old married SRI-IOP client


About Smartphones
• GPS locators mean immediate live access to
sexual partners and sexual content-
• Universal Internet access anywhere - to
porn, to sexually oriented environments
(strip clubs, adult bookstores, etc)
• Live video streaming to phones and pads-
Let’s look at this more closely ...

SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE


There’s an app for that!
So what’s an app?
• Apps are applications that you load from the Internet
onto your smart phone or ‘pad’ to perform specific
functions. For example - if you load a dictionary app
onto your phone- you can then use your phone to
look up words and spelling from your phone
• Sex apps are the same - loaded from to your phone
to help find sexual partners.
What makes phone based Apps
different from Websites?

They are useful for anyone wary of leaving tracks on


work or home computers. Because the apps are
loaded up from phones' browsers, they leave no
electronic, traceable trail.
Social connection apps utilize the active Global
Positioning Satellite feature (GPS) on your phone so
you can find a sex partner literally within feet or
blocks of where you sit.
Apps you should know about

• Ashley Madison - for married men and women


• Grindr - for gay men
• Qrusher Girls - for lesbian women
• Loopd-Mix Chat! - to find all types of partners
About Ashley Madison
• Started as a website - now also a mobile app - perfect
example of content access progression

• AM Slogan: “Life is short, have an affair.”

• AM Mission Statement: “To provide an interactive way for


like-minded users to explore whether they wish to meet
each other, chat with each other and/or explore extra-
marital relationships”

• Over 3-million members internationally


• In May 2009 – 679,000 men and women used the service
to contact a sexual partner in that single month
• 92% of males on the site sign in as married
• 60% of female members sign in as married
Ashley Madison Reconsidered

"Theirs is a business built on the back of broken


hearts, ruined marriages and damaged families. It's the
rebranding of infidelity, making it not only
monetizable, but adding a modicum of normalcy to it.
AshleyMadison makes bad choices, broken promises
and faithlessness look like something that's trendy
and hip and fun to talk about at a cocktail party."

Trish McDermott, dating-industry consultant, co-founder of Match.com


About Grindr

• it’s an iPhone application that allows you to find


men near you (and I mean like the next building
over) instantly using your smartphone connection.
You click on the app and it uses your GPS location
to explain where you are feet/miles-wise from the
next available guy.
Now let’s take a live
look at ...

• Ashley Madison
• Grindr
• And something to make you feel
better after ...
Teledildonics with your Wii...

By hooking up the hardware components up to the two Wii-motes,


wiggles and thrusts on the first Wii-mote are detected and sent via
Bluetooth to a nearby computer. From there this information is sent
over the Internet and reproduced by the other Wii-mote which acts
as a Wii-brator on the other end, allowing remote partners to
simultaneously enjoy each others stimulations.
And about this, I can only say ...

• Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

And it’s only $279.00 with your Wii Console


The good news you should also
know about
Treatment and recovery are also entering the new
media frontier, albeit a bit more slowly. All of us need to
be aware of these options for our clients. Some
examples include:
• Tele-meetings
• Online 12-step Chats
• Online Skype Meetings
• Face to face video sponsorship
• Apps like Mobi-Stealth- to keep track of your addict
• Virtual Reality de-sensitization techniques ...
In Summary, we need new tools toward more
effective clinical work, advanced training that is
inclusive of new technologies and empirical, data-
driven research regarding the effect of technology
on human intimacy and sexuality!
• Escalation in Sexual Addiction and related intimacy
disorders is being fueled by Exponential Technological Growth
combined with the reduced practice of live social
interaction.
• Virtual sex is in its infancy but just watch it grow...
• We need to know- who is at risk, what prevention is
possible and what are the most effective strategies for
treatment?
Initial Sexual Addiction
Treatment is ...

Cognitive Behavioral!

Behavioral disorders initially


require behavioral forms of
treatment!
Required Clinical Steps When
Working with Tech-Sex Addicts
1.Identify the treatment goals of the client and
then align a sexual sobriety contract with those
goals.
2.Hold clients accountable to all their
agreements!
3.Confront denial and teach relapse prevention
4.Spouse, job & family crisis resolution
5.Refer to long-term 12-step, therapy or faith-
based group support
12-step Groups for
Sexual Addicts and Partners
Sex Addict Support Partner Support
‣SAA ‣S-Anon
‣SA ‣Alanon
‣SCA ‣COSA
‣SLAA-Women ‣CODA
‣SRA ‣RCA - Couples
Sexual Addiction Information
‣The Sexual Recovery Institute
www.sexualrecovery.com
‣The Ranch
www.recoveryranch.com
‣IITAP - International Institute for Trauma, and
Addiction Professionals
www.iitap.com
‣SASH - The Society for the Advancement of
Sexual Health
www.sash.net
Treating Sexual Addiction in the New
Media Frontier
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S
Founding Director - The Sexual Recovery Institute
Director of Sexual Disorder Programs, Elements Behavioral Health

Promises, The Ranch & The Sexual Recovery Institute