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The clang of metal. Snatched vertiginous glimpses of a bleak expanse of sea, a distant strip of lights along the sea front, trams passing below. A FIGURE IN A BLACK MONKEY SUIT. It looks back. Someone is following. The FIGURE pushes through a metal hatch and starts to climb. A furry arm grabs painted-red iron, climbing hairy hand over hairy hand. A sharp crack of metal on metal. The hand slips, it searches frantically for some purchase on the girder. CUT WIDE to reveal: The FIGURE IN THE MONKEY SUIT atop the Blackpool Tower, railing Kong-like against the elements. The MONKEY falls, twisting in the air as it descends towards us. As it fills the screen flip to the MONKEY'S POV: BLACKPOOL SEAFRONT barrelling towards us, spiralling as we fall. SLAMMING INTO the pavement. CUT TO: EXT. PETROL STATION FORECOURT. DAY 1 EXTREME CLOSE UP: Ketchup squirting from a burger as someone takes a bite. CAPTION: 'Four days earlier' TRIXIE a flabby old slag in her late twenties - falling out of her clothes - bites into a burger. A chunk of meat drops out. She picks it up and inserts it back into the bun. Whilst bent over she adjusts the millimetre of thong that slices in between her fulsome white buttocks. DUDLEY SUTTON - late twenties, shorts and short sleeve shirt carrying a bag of service station fare. He glances furtively at TRIXIE'S bum as he passes.
The forecourt is crammed with honking vehicles. Coaches, minibuses, cars, people shouting, milling around, music blaring from radios and boom-boxes. DUDLEY continues towards his coach, sweating in the blistering Bank Holiday heat. CUT TO: INT. SUTTONS COACH/PETROL STATION. DAY 1 LOLA SUTTON, buttoned-up, plainly dressed, mid-twenties, sticky with sweat in the oven-like heat of the coach. She is perched awkwardly on the back seat. Next to her are a YOUNG COUPLE. They wear the minimum of clothes and are snogging one another with frenzied abandon, unashamed of their mutual lust. Cut between LOLA in the heat, glancing at them and her POV: the BOY'S hand on the GIRL'S thigh. Sweat on skin. Open mouths. Flashes of tongue. DUDLEY arrives, shambling awkwardly down the aisle, clutching his carrier bag of fare. DUDLEY squeezes past the embracing COUPLE'S bare knees. DUDLEY Sorry love. It's chaos out there. Some kid got a Magnum all down my shorts. DUDLEY sits down. They're both aware that the COUPLE are getting it on next to them. Milky tea. Thanks. The SNOGGING COUPLE ratchet the action up a notch. Sweating, DUDLEY pulls at his shirt. DUDLEY Ooh it's baking. DUDLEY No sugar. LOLA
The SNOGGING MAN has his hand in his girlfriends top. rolling her nipple between his fingers. DUDLEY Does that window work? LOLA It's stuck.
The SNOGGING MAN'S eyes flick briefly over LOLA. DUDLEY opens a tube of sweets. DUDLEY Did I lock the front door? Or did you? LOLA You. DUDLEY pats his pockets. DUDLEY Are you sure? LOLA Yeah. DUDLEY I can't find the key. LOLA You gave it to me. LOLA'S POV: The YOUNG COUPLE. thighs. DUDLEY I didn't. LOLA You did. We hear a low moan. A BARE ARM swings loosely over DUDLEY'S shoulder. He tries not to react to it. DUDLEY Have a look in your bag. LOLA does so reluctantly. She holds up the key. A deep groan from the neighbouring seat. His hand between the GIRL'S
stares intently at a small strip of paper with two words on it. TRIXIE Whoohoo!!! . a little bit wired. He folds it and replaces it in his top pocket. CARTER'S POV: disjointed images. As he does we see his cuff is stained with blood. TRIXIE Where you heading? He holds up a battered piece of card with the word 'Blackpool' written on it. TRIXIE Alright sugar. He looks at her coolly and starts to head past. DUDLEY Polo? LOLA smiles weakly and takes it.DUDLEY offers LOLA a sweet. A sign for tyres. PETROL STATION FORECOURT. CUT TO: EXT. CARTER Blackpool. The COACH judders into life and rolls off. TRIXIE follows him. A FATHER and YOUNG SON drifting past seen through a heat haze. He glances around the forecourt. Exhaust belching from a coach. You look a bit lost. messianic man in his mid-twenties. She swigs from a can of Tetleys. DAY 1 As the SUTTON'S COACH clears frame it reveals CARTER KRANTZ a pale yet arrestingly handsome. CARTER turns and finds himself looking straight into the ketchup-daubed face of TRIXIE. He seems tired. whipping round in the wind.
She holds her up hand 'gimme five' style. lean. a brooding presence. . won't we girls. No gabbing with your mates. DAY 1 SHIRLEY WOOLF. There's a knock at the door. No rolling up a sly one. SHIRLEY No I don't want any fucking chips. SHIRLEY What? LIAM (OOV . TRIXIE We'll give you a lift. No freebies off the girls. a charismatic man in his early-forties. SHIRLEY Great. CARTER doesn't respond. Just get in there. CUT TO: INT. CARTER looks up to see a bunch of LEERING FEMALES cheering from the windows of a minibus.hint of nervousness) I'm ready. Show some front. LIAM (OOV) Dad? SHIRLEY lowers the paper. SINS NIGHTCLUB. He sits on the toilet reading the Blackpool Mercury. Get that money and don't fuck about. LIAM (OOV) Do you want some chips? SHIRLEY conceals his irritation.STAFF TOILET. powerful. She hooks her arm through his.
Amongst these are 'Heat'-style unflattering photos of CONNIE: on a bar stool holding up a glass of champagne and flashing her knickers. I'm rocking Dad. Get that cash. confident woman in her early forties. CUT TO: . A caption reads 'Connie Woolf dazzles crowd at nightclub anniversary bash'. SHIRLEY (distracted) Take my car.Get out. SHIRLEY lowers his paper. You can do it. Good. I've got it sussed. her face emphasizing a spot on her chin. Pause. Sorted. SHIRLEY And don't forget that grand off the coon. SHIRLEY And Liam. I know you LIAM (OOV) Sorted. close-up of cellulite. He says his cat's got cancer. LIAM (OOV) He's having difficulties Dad. SHIRLEY turns the page and is shocked by what he sees. There are photographs of SHIRLEY and his wife CONNIE . SHIRLEY'S POV of the paper: an article about the tenth anniversary of Sins Nightclub. can. SHIRLEY I hope it dies. SHIRLEY Stay away from Mercy.a brassy.
EXT. SHIRLEYS MERCEDES/SEAFRONT. DAY 1 POV from moving car: The word 'MERCY'S' in illuminated letters above a lap-dancing emporium. Either side of the entrance are posters of the girls amongst which is the star attraction - the fawn-like beauty VIENNA KEEN. LIAM, an early-twenties unkempt slacker sporting Madchester '89 styling stares fixedly at the club, as he heads down the Golden Mile in SHIRLEY'S open-topped car. Shades down, spliff in hand, 'Wrote for Luck' by the Happy Mondays blaring from the stereo. He swerves erratically to overtake a slow-moving coach, struggling to maintain control of the car. LOLA and DUDLEY are momentarily visible at the window peering out. CUT TO: INT. SUTTONS COACH/SEAFRONT. DAY 1 EVERYONE standing excitedly looking out at the Blackpool sea front apart from the YOUNG SNOGGING COUPLE who are snoozing post-coitally, head to head. DUDLEY and LOLA are pressed together leaning against the window. THEIR POV: The Tower from beneath; A FAMILY OF BIG FAT FUCKERS eating ice-creams; A House of Horrors; The Big One; GYPSY'S peddling crap; etc. etc. DUDLEY Did I do well? LOLA gives him a peck. LOLA You did brilliant. She peers back out of the window. DUDLEY watches her. The sunlight on the little blond hairs of her bare arm. LOLA takes in the glitter of the seafront and beyond that the grey expanse of the Irish Sea. Suddenly she sees the nude figure of CARTER KRANTZ being shoved out of a passing minibus.
For a fleeting moment, their eyes meet, then the coach speeds past. CUT TO: EXT. SEAFRONT/ TRIXIE'S MINIBUS. DAY 1 A naked CARTER picks himself up. Around his neck hangs a small, antiquated rusty key. In his hand he clutches his scrap of paper. The minibus heads off, a bunch of CACKLING HENS waving his clothes from the rear window. TRIXIE (shouting) What's the matter gaylord. Scared of a bit of minge. Standing at a plinth surrounded by a SMALL CROWD including ratty-looking journalist KEN CRYER is REV. ONAN VAN KNECK the Mayor of Blackpool. VAN KNECK is a puffed up, overweight heavy-set man in his sixties. BEHIND him is a huge billboard covered with a white drape. MAYOR Heaven, ladies and gentlemen... The MAYOR wrenches down the drape to reveal the billboard. Three photographs blown up to poster size: figures on a beach; a vintage rock shop; and in the centre a beautiful old church. A bold caption (which obscures the top of the building) reads 'Heaven'. MAYOR The Eden that was once ours. Above these are three contrasting shots of contemporary Blackpool: someone lying in a pool of sick; someone bleeding with glass in his brow; lapdancers lined up in a club - one of which is VIENNA KEEN. The caption reads 'Hell'. MAYOR Hell. The sewer that we swim in today. KEN CRYER (shouting)
What about the s...s..sewer of c..c..civic corruption? The b..b..backhanders, the p..p. palm greasing, the ge...ge...ge. gerrymandering. What about Bridewell? The MAYOR laughs dismissively. MAYOR Listen to him ladies and gentlemen. The weasel words of the do-good brigade. CARTER is making his way through the crowd trying to find more adequate cover. He grabs at a shawl belonging to an OLD LADY in a wheelchair. She spots his act of larceny and resists it. CARTER struggles for a moment with the OLD LADY but fails to secure the shawl. KEN CRYER Who's p..p..paying for your c..c..campaign? KEN holds up a printed leaflet. It reads: 'Vote Van Kneck. His Kingdom Come. His will be done.' KEN CRYER Who's b...buying this election for you? MAYOR Alright Jeremy Paxman. You've had your fun. But we're living in the real world here. The crowd murmurs. Someone shouts 'P...p..p..piss off K..K..K..Ken'. EVERYONE laughs. KEN blushes. THE MAYOR presses home his advantage and addresses the crowd, putting KEN to one side. MAYOR (addressing crowd) I'm a Sandgrownun. I call a spade a spade. And I know what you care about. I'm talking about filth.
MAYOR (OOV) I want him run out of town. There a strange clicking noise as he moves. fresh-faced young uniformed policeman CHRIS CHURCH. The MAYOR'S eyes widen in theatrical disbelief. His expression is inscrutable. Drunks drenching our streets with urine. The CHILD steals the hat back off CARTER. CUT TO: EXT. And I'm here to shovel the shit from the cages. . Junkies.thrown back on the M55. MAYOR . somewhere between pain and trying to get the lid off a pickle jar. unintimidated then turns and heads off through the beeping traffic. On CARTER'S face as he strides across the road. MAYOR Animals like him! This town is a zoo. The MAYOR takes a few steps forward. I want this He jabs a stubby forefinger in CARTER'S direction. DINGY ALLEYWAY . CARTER holds the MAYOR'S stare. The MAYOR'S eyes settle upon CARTER.Above photos is a enormous image of the MAYOR with the words 'Where do you want to live?' MAYOR Lapdancers. A round of applause from the small crowd. who is attempting to cover his naked rump by stealing a novelty hat from a CHILD.DAY 1 Medium close on a lanky. MAYOR (calling to aide) Get uniformed.
RUBY reaches down and attempts to finish the job with her hand. You can't go out there with a big full truncheon like that.I've really got to go. RADIO PC 727. CHRIS Look . She lifts her head and wipes her mouth. RADIO Are you receiving? CHRIS (apologetic) I'll have to take it. PC 727. Will do. Pick me up in . RUBY See you tonight then. Hesitation on CHRIS'S face. Are you clear to go to South Shore? Disturbance involving Mayor and young male nudist. dressed skimpily in too-tight clothes. She's early twenties. CHRIS Will report to South Shore immediately. CHRIS This is 727 receiving. CHRIS reaches for his radio. Can do.Pull out to reveal that he is being eagerly and enthusiastically fellated by RUBY WOOLF. your Batmobile. RUBY kisses him. CHRIS bats her hand away. RUBY Let me finish you off. As his crisis approaches he is distracted by his radio. pretty. He looks down at RUBY.
on either side of the doors. smiling. runs her hand around her lipstick and then sashays around the corner as casually as she can manage. Ruby . She hurriedly checks her hair. seaside souvenirs.DAY 1 The doors crash open. loved-up. RUBY watches him go. shielding his eyes. then goes. CUT TO: EXT. plastic breasts and turds. catapults and airguns. . SHIRLEY (shouting OOV) Ruby..which identify the building as being Sins Nightclub. After a beat he runs back. LIAM swaggers towards the cash desk. The odd car rolling past. but also crude and vulgar novelty items penis-shaped lollies. She flicks through a holiday brochure.DAY 1 SHIRLEY WOOLF stands in blinding sunlight. Behind the cash register is a middle aged woman PATTI.covering) Hiyah Dad. buckets and spades. SHIRLEY Where's Connie? CUT TO: INT. postcards.still open on the unflattering pictures of CONNIE. chips. In the background are a couple of nine year old KIDS looking round the shop.. SINS NIGHTCLUB . Sunlit street. searching for RUBY. RUBY (shifty . LIAM strides in messily eating a bag of Shelves lined with rock..CHRIS nods then runs off. Behind him are several signs .. He holds the Blackpool Mercury in his hand. Display cabinets full of hunting knives. ROCKSHOTZ SOUVENIR SHOP . kisses her again.
LIAM No excuses. The KIDS push in front of LIAM to the counter. The shelves behind IDI are lined with colourful novelty wigs. She takes LIAM in. No fairytales. then launches into his patter.BACK OF SHOP. some Chomp Bars and a lethal looking twelve inch hunting knife. She turns a page in her brochure. Get busy with the fizzy. PATTI (shouting) Idi.... It's coupon day. CUT TO: INT.. LIAM munches on his chips. LIAM He looks fine to me. The Racing Post is open on a stool. with an old-fashioned white ear-piece plugged in....LIAM Alright doll. LIAM momentarily hesitates. next to an old transistor radio. ROCKSHOTZ SOUVENIR SHOP. PATTI doesn't respond. Slowly PATTI looks up. LIAM'S phone bleeps. IDI . They lay down a handful of penny chews.. Up to his tail in chemo and still he wrestles. IDI He is a fighter this one. PATTI turns wearily to the back of the shop. He is struggling to keep it in his arms. clearly unimpressed.DAY 1 IDI the storeowner stands stroking a lively-looking tabby tomcat. IDI To the untrained eye.
. LIAM scrolls down the picture on his phone to reveal the message: 'COME AND SEE ME. LIAM is looking at his phone's display. IDI lifts one of the cat's paws. I'll fix up a meet with the boys. LIAM looks up at IDI. IDI What is matter with you? Still in thrall to that man. They are looking for a guitarist.But look. Mad for it. SHANGRI-LA GUEST HOUSE . It's a photo-message of a glorious-looking Fender Stratocaster. Graham Lambert is not well. MERCY'. LIAM hesitates. Big star. CUT TO: EXT. He looks at the cat. I am.DAY 1 . Tom Hingley. The whole damn band. IDI catches sight of it too. IDI Take the cat as collateral. I'm on notice here. LIAM Look just give me the fucking money. IDI Inspiral Carpets. I thought you were going to be something. IDI You know who I had in the shop last week? A beat for effect. LIAM I've got things cooking. IDI As limp as a cripple's dick.. He has bad guts. Clint Boon.
LEO eyes flick straight to LOLA breasts. lord of his own little portion of the world.RECEPTION .the North's premiere gentlemen's entertainment venue'. There are some suitcases piled nearby. They seem glued to the floor. Grace-Pool-like. CUT TO: INT. A naked light bulb. A faint wailing begins from upstairs. Filling them is the lanky figure of LEO FINCH . No one comes. BANG! The double doors behind the reception area are thrown open. Sickly green walls. DUDLEY pokes at them experimentally with his foot. hallway. DUDLEY We're the Suttons.The screech of a tom-cat echoes miserably along a dreary street of small terrace houses. soaking wet. LEO Alright. His arms are .DAY 1 LOLA'S hand on the bell. They look towards the source of the sound.late forties. LOLA and DUDLEY look around. LEO How are we? LOLA notices that LEO'S sleeves are rolled up. LEO Dudley and Lola. LOLA and DUDLEY SUTTON look up with open-mouthed disappointment at 'The Shangri-La Guest House'. A poster on the wall with the image of the Tower advertising the annual Cross Ball 'sponsored by Mercy's . gone to seed. Its ting echoes emptily through the A shabby reception area. SHANGRI-LA.
I've washed the sheets.. widescreen TV. LEO turns the register book towards them and offers LOLA a pen..Of course. LEO And how was the journey from Ripon? DUDLEY Stoke. LOLA No. He gestures up to an antiquated TV set bolted to the wall. LEO takes the pen back from LOLA.DAY 1 The door swings as LEO sweeps in. LEO Beautiful place.GLOOMY BAR . LEO claps his hands. LEO glances at DUDLEY. of course. We're all very excited. SHANGRI-LA. LEO (to LOLA) The room's ready. CUT TO: INT. We've been expecting you. DUDLEY We've been married three years. a flicker of irritation. Cocktails. followed by DUDLEY and LOLA. . LEO The American Bar. The newlyweds. cruditees. LEO (to LOLA) Still got a glint in your eye. Stoke. She signs. LEO turns to get a key.
LEO enters as before followed by the SUTTONS. He sits on the bed bouncing his lap up and down. If you fancy a She clearly doesn't. with damp-looking wallpaper. leaving the SUTTONS alone. LEO flashes her a charming smile. Lots of support. LEO Seaview Suite.called 'The Seaview'. punt.DAY 1 The door whips open. DUDLEY glances at LOLA. Give me a shout.. LEO Poker game tonight. In-house entertainment. miserable space LEO The Empress Room. He ruffles them at LOLA. A faded. LEO Need any help. SHANGRI-LA. SHANGRI-LA.. LEO picks up a worn deck of cards. LEO Super king-size. The view is of another guesthouse . LEO pushes in. Petit dejeuner. CUT TO: INT.LOLA glances down and sees a pair of legs protruding from behind the bar. LOLA looks out of the window. CUT TO: INT.DAY 1 Door opens. LOLA Jesus Dudley. The door slams and he's gone.EMPRESS ROOM .SEAVIEW SUITE . DUDLEY .
Get those juices flowing. LOLA doesn't respond. Your wildest fantasy.. She would like to speak but she DUDLEY Just give me a hint. They hug. She puts her arms around him.. a heart-framed photo of the same blonde in an avocado green bath.... LOLA holds up an orange plastic bucket which has been placed to catch a drip.Anything goes. . DUDLEY Well. We're here to have a good time. DUDLEY We're not here for the decor. DUDLEY pulls her towards him. DUDLEY (awkward beat) This weekend. reception area with a PEROXIDE BLONDE laughing. DUDLEY shows LOLA the page which contains mendaciously tasteful shots of a hotel bar.. I'll do whatever you want. LOLA (hesitant) I'll try She approaches DUDLEY and gives him a peck. An excruciating pause. can't. LOLA I'll just have a wee. surrounded by bubbles. You just have to tell me. The word falls like a lead weight in the silence. Do it. LOLA It's horrible.It looked better in the brochure. LOLA struggles for a moment.no time like the present. DUDLEY'S hands stray towards her buttocks. They rest there for a moment...
Agnes Repplier (1855-1950)". Did she just dream this? LOLA's mouth is CUT TO: INT.SEAVIEW SUITE. LOLA enters.another entrance into the bathroom. open. DUDLEY hurriedly begins to remove his trousers. He LOLA Let's go out. SHANGRI-LA. The inscription reads "'There are few nudities so objectionable as the naked truth' . LEO Just advising you about this door. She leans further forward to peer at it.BATHROOM . He barely registers the fact that LOLA is on the toilet. She leans forward to look at an intriguing figurine on the bathroom window. Anyone could come through it if you're not forewarned. nervously awaiting her. And with that he is gone.SEAVIEW SUITE . looking round the grim bathroom with slight trepidation.LOLA enters the bathroom and shuts the door. SHANGRI-LA. Suddenly the panel next to the toilet bursts open revealing itself to be a door . gestures towards the bath. There is an inscription beneath it. LEO winks at her. . He looks at her expectantly.DAY 1 LOLA is perched on the toilet. LEO That bath's got jets. CUT TO: INT. The curtains are drawn. It is a naked women in lewd pose.DAY 1 DUDLEY is sat up in bed bare chested. LEO appears behind it.
.. KEN hovers. I know wh.account..kn.. He leads KEN away and then once out of earshot he turns.. gypsy stock.M. Bunting is being rolled up and stashed away by CAMPAIGN WORKERS. THE MAYOR .. THE MAYOR Nine weeks of solid gold.of course that's family entertainment isn't it. KEN CRYER has approached.going on. .CUT TO: EXT.ac.. He's of He's not going to go away. THE MAYOR smiles sweetly. but he sings beautifully.. Unsubstantiated allegations can be ruinous. SEAFRONT . Last year we had the Joe Longthorne Summer Spectacular.. He lurks at THE MAYOR'S side trying to catch his attention..wh.. THE MAYOR (impatient) What do you want? KEN To hold you to ac.Mercy.. THE MAYOR is chatting to some LOCAL PEOPLE. THE MAYOR You need to be very careful young man.know about you and M.what's go.. THE MAYOR turns.DAY 1 THE MAYOR'S campaign launch is being wound down. I kn. THE MAYOR (to LOCAL PEOPLE) Excuse me.
DAY 1 Three playing cards lain out face down on a shop counter. Two old Blackpool ladies ALICE and DOREEN are on the other side of the counter..no.substantiate alright. THE MAYOR seizes on this opportunity to get away from KEN.nail you. I hear there's been some trouble.you pick.or that one.. Doreen .sort you Van Kneck. Lewd behaviour on the front.n.. I'm just a quick KEN He .substantiate. CARTER Your cards ladies. I'm glad I wasn't in mortal peril.. watches him go. strides briskly towards CHRIS. n. now wearing a sixties Michael Caine-style Alfie suit.. pair of hands..... THE MAYOR turns away and finds CHRIS CHURCH approaching briskly.... KEN I'll s.oh I can't do it.KEN I'll s. I'll CUT TO: INT. a price tag still hanging from it's sleeve. CHRIS CHURCH I got a call sir. MARIE CURIE CHARITY SHOP . DOREEN Are you sure these aren't trick cards. ALICE That one. THE MAYOR You took your time. He moves swiftly away with CHRIS in order to brief him.. I'll s. CARTER KRANTZ stands on one side of the counter..
CARTER smiles devilishly and turns it over revealing a three of clubs..a lanky.. Someone's been flashing their all on the front. CARTER No. Illnesses. I'm looking for a nudist. Bedroom eyes we used to call 'em.. .CARTER glances out of the window.who all the gays are.. DOREEN nods proudly. DOREEN Oh no. What I want is ALICE Ah well. She knows everything. DOREEN reaches out and touches one of the cards. DOREEN You want to watch her. DOREEN That's another fiver. The shop bell goes and CHRIS CHURCH .you're in right place. CARTER shakes his head.. fresh-faced young policeman enters.. You're alright.. He turns one of the others revealing a queen.affairs. ALICE We should be so lucky. He was seen heading in here. CARTER gives them a conspiratorial wink. ALICE You'll have to dip in' till. ALICE Ooo 'ant he got lovely eyes. CHRIS CHURCH is approaching the shop. He's cleaned me out. information... CHRIS CHURCH Afternoon ladies..
CARTER On the front. CARTER wears no shoes or socks. He looks up at CARTER.where were you at time of this incident? CARTER I was outside. CHRIS CHURCH looks down at CARTER'S feet. CHRIS CHURCH What about the rest of you.. CARTER I was barefoot. CHRIS And how do I know you're telling me the truth. CARTER holds CHRIS'S gaze..was that bare sir? CARTER hesitates and glances at the old ladies.. CHRIS . CHRIS CHURCH And can I ask you sir.. CARTER No.They giggle. CHRIS CHURCH Were you fully clothed at this time sir? CARTER holds his gaze. CHRIS CHURCH I see. CHRIS studies CARTER warily. CARTER I've got impetigo. CARTER No.
RADIO 727. DOREEN Poor lamb. Scabs. DOREEN Are you in trouble? ALICE You're not going to tie us up and have your way with us are you? CARTER looks at them cooly. ALICE It's true officer.. She'll tell you. All over my balls. Have a look if you don't believe me. Are you available to go to disturbance at The Manchester. Well if you hear anything. CHRIS studies him.. a little embarrassed responding to his radio. From here to here. CARTER Red raw. I'm covered in it. He's had a . Ok... It's a skin condition. CHRIS'S radio crackles. CARTER looks back at ALICE and winks. CARTER Ask my aunt..What? CARTER Impetigo.. He leaves. terrible time. CHRIS Right. CARTER gestures from his chest to his feet. Under my arms. Arse crack. Possible affray.
CARTER I'm looking for someone. Beneath it a smaller sign suddenly flashes on. She holds it up. CUT TO: .DAY 1 A garish illuminated sign spells out 'Animal Magic' in little white light bulbs. One of its paws is held with an elastic band to a steel pole.'Missing Pets . Kylie's 'Spinnin' Around' echoes through a tinny speaker. DOREEN and ALICE look at each other . Some of the bulbs are missing.a little shocked. rouged lips and tight gold hot-pants. The paper is lowered to reveal: CUT TO: EXT. CARTER A friend. It reads 'by Abro-e Cha--el'. CARTER You know him? ALICE reaches for a copy of the BLACKPOOL MERCURY resting on the counter. It revolves jerkily on a turntable. ANIMAL MAGIC . window display featuring a stuffed cat on its hind legs. CARTER holds out his piece of paper. A pause. A missing-poster of a Collie dog and the shop front of 'Animal Magic'. Close on an article headline .Questions Remain' There are two photos. paper in hand. The Come down on an exotic. if slightly-faded. CARTER Ambrose Chapel. The cat sports a blonde wig. Pull out to reveal CARTER standing there. sounds of the seafront around him. He steels himself.
made up like a glamour model. She thrusts open a door and struts in. SINS NIGHTCLUB. just forty. Calm down.INT. CONNIE Fucking little fuck of a fucking shit two bit rag.DAY 1 A pair of four-inch heels clicking down a concrete labyrinthine corridor. Gucci sunglasses perched on her coiffured head. She turns a corner almost knocking over a BARMAN carrying a crate of beer. Have you seen this? RUBY and SHIRLEY exchange a look. With her other she is flicking through the photos on her mobile phone. like a 5-dollar sauna. SINS NIGHTCLUB. She is seething. CONNIE Calm down . CONNIE thrusts the Blackpool Mercury at Shirley. With one hand RUBY WOOLF is painting her toe-nails gold. In her hand is a copy of the Blackpool Mercury open at the piece on Sins Nightclub.? .DAY 1 Cheap pine panelling.CORRIDOR . Muffled thump of distant club music. Two huge ALSATIONS sit at her feet eating doughnuts from a porcelain fruit dish. SHIRLEY (to CONNIE) Look.OFFICE . No windows. CONNIE WOOLF. CUT TO: INT. She wears a low cut top barely concealing her prominent bosom and a tight micro-skirt.
RUBY He's called Chris. Every crease and spot and stray hair on view. CONNIE It's not your fanny spread across the centre pages. We need you. SHIRLEY Of course I care. I've heard it all before. CONNIE Yada yada yada. tender and placatory. Annes for a Thai. A photo of CHRIS CHURCH grinning inanely at the lens.SHIRLEY It means nothing. SHIRLEY comes up behind her. still in a state of umbrage. I'll crucify them. . CONNIE refuses to soften. RUBY What do you think? CONNIE starts to go through her paperwork. SHIRLEY I'll find out who did it. He's taking me to St. CONNIE Not tonight he's not. CONNIE Then what are you going to do about it? SHIRLEY I told you. CONNIE You know who did it. I'll sort it out. RUBY holds up her phone for CONNIE and SHIRLEY to see. turns and sits down at her desk. I've been humiliated and you don't fucking care.
RUBY (protesting) Ahhh! It's my night off. I found a receipt. Your dad's playing poker. But you're not having the night off. At . first CONNIE resists but then she seems to soften. RUBY He's bought me a ring. Introduce him to the Dingles. RUBY turns to SHIRLEY. SHIRLEY tries to lighten the atmosphere.CONNIE furiously impales invoices on a spike.. CONNIE Well that's very touching. RUBY But I think he's going to propose. tell her .. SHIRLEY moves behind CONNIE and starts to kiss her neck. CONNIE Fifth one this year. I'll be in the VIP lounge.. We've got Emmerdale coming. SHIRLEY Your mum needs you here. RUBY Dad.. I was going through his pockets. One of the ALSATIONS starts licking the polish off RUBY'S toes which she fails to notice. SHIRLEY Get the lad to come here. CONNIE We're too busy.
He's given LIAM enters holding IDI'S . SHIRLEY stares at him. me this as collateral. SHIRLEY slaps it out of LIAM'S hands. LIAM hands the cat to SHIRLEY. struggling cat. Chill. They all look at him. SHIRLEY What the fuck's that? LIAM It's Idi's. CONNIE Old news love. The animal flies across the room and lands on CONNIE'S spike with a terrified mew. CONNIE resumes her paperwork. RUBY My mum's dead. LIAM You can keep it.. LIAM Relax. What I wanted was a grand. He's skint. SHIRLEY I don't want it..Sulkily. You'll have the dollars next week.. if he doesn't pay. SHIRLEY You what? LIAM Collateral. RUBY grabs a half-eaten doughnut out of one of the dog's mouths and starts munching on it.. LIAM Alright. and half-unconsciously. You know . It expires.
I'm striking out on my own. I can take it to the top. SHIRLEY You what? LIAM I'm not going. LIAM looks on aghast. LIAM hesitates. CONNIE I've just had this dry-cleaned. LIAM What am I going to tell Idi? SHIRLEY To pay up. Go back.CONNIE Jesus Shirley! She looks down at her cream-coloured skirt. LIAM You've killed it! SHIRLEY stares at LIAM. Get that money. LIAM I mean it. SHIRLEY Oh yeah? And who's going to back you? LIAM whacks down a big envelope of money on the desk. . You fucking fat little prick. LIAM I'm going to manage a band. I've got talent. RUBY starts to laugh. RUBY prods at the limp form of the cat with an emery board. LIAM No.
2004' In the bottom right hand corner of each case is a yellowed piece of paper carrying the extravagant signature of Ambrose Chapfel. The sound of a drill begins.. It has been posed before a model piano. CARTER starts at it. with a backcombed frightwig . maybe from the next building. AMBROSE CHAPFEL appears. The gallery will reopen at ten fifteen. A LARGE COCKEREL dressed as Jerry Lee Lewis.immaculately dressed in a neat smock. CARTER Sign says open. The label reads 'Gangster Raptor .LIAM Mercy. CARTER jumps. CUT TO: INT. Late thirties . Another exhibit: draped in flamboyantly silky fabric.. . A peeling dynalabel reads 'Rock-a-doodle doo: Jerry Lee Lewis 1958' CARTER walks on. He flicks a nervous glance over his shoulder. ANIMAL MAGIC/ CORRIDOR .a LARGE DUCK.50 Cent. with sculpted white blond hair and an Amish-style beard. with one claw perched on the keyboard. with a white headband and a white vest. A HUGE BLACK OWL. He is beanpole thin. The label reads: 'A Bird in the Bush: Miss Kate Bush 1977' And then the third. draped in cheap bling.DAY 1 CARTER KRANTZ makes his way cautiously down a gloomy corridor. CONNIE stares at the money. truly shocked. AMBROSE (OOV) We're closing. Apprehensively he proceeds. from which peeks a naval sweater and paisley cravat. SHIRLEY stares at LIAM. RUBY stops laughing. He pauses in front of an exhibit. A strip light above him flickers on and off.
Looks like it's breathing. A glimpse of a monstrous creation . He gestures to a faded cutting in a frame . AMBROSE I am innocent of those charges. Nothing like this though. A simple taxidermist trying to practise his craft CARTER looks past him. AMBROSE looks at CARTER. CARTER I'm a collector myself. Now if you don't mind.CARTER doesn't move.I am known. When will you people leave me alone. CARTER Very impressive. AMBROSE slams the door shut. AMBROSE It's all my own work. CARTER You're Ambrose? AMBROSE (put out) Yes. spots the newspaper under his arm. several people huddled round.a photo of ROLF HARRIS kneeling down.a calf's body with a poodle's head and swan's wings. Ambrose Chapel. You must go. I have won awards.. AMBROSE stands behind. He peers at the Gangster Raptor exhibit. His face has been circled in crayon. The door behind AMBROSE is opened a touch.. AMBROSE Thank you. CARTER I'm looking for somone. Now really. It's like the fucking Uffizzi in here. AMBROSE Who are you? What do you want? . CARTER turns slowly and studies AMBROSE.
CARTER Yeah.a jerry-built box covered in switches and masking tape.CARTER takes a step towards him. CARTER You don't recognise me? AMBROSE No. Flustered...should I? CARTER I'm from London..I'm terribly busy. It's getting late.. AMBROSE is at the master light switches ...don't know. AMBROSE I haven't been to London for years.. trying to weigh up his words. AMBROSE (blushing) I have to close up. AMBROSE walks off down the corridor.. AMBROSE flushes. AMBROSE London. AMBROSE I... CARTER I want to talk to you... AMBROSE It was only that one time. I am still remembered? CARTER stares at him...I have to finish the exhibit.. Something flickers across his face..my creation. . AMBROSE thinks for a moment.
AMBROSE Where are you staying? CARTER Nowhere. The sound of drilling.CARTER stands uncomfortably close to him. stops abruptly. AMBROSE (tremulously) Perhaps you should rest. AMBROSE'S hand hovers a big switch labelled 'Open/Closed'. their faces almost touching. I've a room upstairs.. CARTER reaches across. AMBROSE (uncertainly) You look tired. CARTER studies AMBROSE for a response. Yeah. CUT TO: CARTER I haven't slept a wink. Another beat. CARTER How about a drink? AMBROSE hesitates. We could.speak later. CARTER looks him in the eye. CARTER I had a really bad night. AMBROSE Maybe later. CARTER Perfect. Can't get a room. which has been continuous since it begun. Hotel's full. . A loud click as he flicks the switch for AMBROSE..
LOLA wears a tiara with deelyboppers. held by a matching GERBIL in a male swimming thong.DAY 1 They draw alongside 'Rockshotz'. flickers on. I'm having reet good time.DAY 1 An illuminated 'Open' sign held by a GERBIL dressed in a bikini flickers off. She takes his arm and leads him inside. ROCKSHOTZ SOUVENIR SHOP . I'm going to have a big trough of fish and chips. Get some pick 'n' mix. DUDLEY Let's get in there. They share a massive wodge of candy-floss. With bits in. Fish and chips washed down with black pudding. LOLA (laughing) Shhh! DUDLEY I am.EXT. Or ice cream. good time. Pick up LOLA and DUDLEY SUTTON as they walk past the front of 'Animal Magic'. They are having a CUT TO: EXT. LOLA Posh ice cream. DUDLEY (in cod Lancashire accent) I am. . ANIMAL MAGIC . Another beneath it which reads CLOSED. DUDLEY is wearing a cowboy hat. Laughing they stop in front of the window of Rockshotz. Do you not fancy a lovely bit of black pudding? LOLA No. I'm reet enjoying myself.
She picks up a plastic bum and holds it up to her face. ROCKSHOTZ SOUVENIR SHOP . LOLA (embarrassed) I'm going to pay for this. DUDLEY chances stealing a penny chew from the pick and mix. Pick 'n' mix. DUDLEY Is that all you want? She walks to the counter. LOLA giggles. DUDLEY finds a unit full of novelty rock. . DUDLEY Anything you want you can have it. LOLA Not really. Postcards. Amongst the more innocuous items there are pink sugar lollies shaped like penises. DUDLEY See anything you like? LOLA jumps a little. DUDLEY. DUDLEY looks up to see what LOLA was looking at so intently: a garish box with the words "What she wants" stamped across it.DAY 1 They separate and begin to survey the various items on the display. troubled follows her. They continue to explore the displays. She puts the bum down. The sound of a distant roll of thunder. DUDLEY laughs. she seems a touch flustered. The see-through panel reveals a massive ultra-realistic black 12" dildo. postcards in hand. A massive range of rock.CUT TO: INT. He turns to LOLA. LOLA I'm fine with these.
LIAM It's my life Dad.EVENING 1 SHIRLEY and LIAM burst out of a fire-exit followed by CONNIE and RUBY. SHIRLEY There are rules. SHIRLEY revs the engine. RUBY Mmr mmr mmr mmr mmr. . SHIRLEY Get in the car. CUT TO: EXT. SHIRLEY You think I'm that stupid? SHIRLEY reaches the car. RUBY mimics him cruelly. LIAM is carrying IDI'S cat. They are outside Sin's nightclub. SHIRLEY wrenches the car door open. glances back at CONNIE. LOLA Three for a pound.. They've been broken. RUBY is texting as she walks.She holds up three traditional saucy postcards. SHIRLEY and LIAM head towards SHIRLEY'S big open-topped Mercedes 300 SEL. Thunder rolls. There are billing posters advertising future attractions. She starts to pay PATTI for the cards. They climb in. SINS NIGHTCLUB . DUDLEY looks back at the dildo in the box.. perturbed. CONNIE (to SHIRLEY) You're playing right into Mercy's hands.
He's gorgeous. him. ANIMAL MAGIC. CONNIE (calling after) I love you. RUBY holds up her phone triumphantly. CONNIE . realises she can't stop CONNIE Watch yourself. hung like a shire-horse. eyes fixed firmly on the receding car. A flicker of fear in her eyes. SHIRLEY hasn't heard her.. RUBY Do I look fat in this? A small roll of fat bulges alarmingly between RUBY'S crop top and a too-tight skirt. A squeal of tyres and the car speeds off.EVENING 1 RUBY He's coming.CONNIE Shirley. CONNIE (cooly) No love.BATHROOM .. You're fine. Result! Who? RUBY My boyfriend. CONNIE You'd better get on that door. She hesitates. CONNIE exhales a mouthful of smoke. SHIRLEY looks at her. CUT TO: INT.
He wipes it off with his thumb. haggard.EVENING 1 CARTER'S POV: The back of AMBROSE'S head and shoulders walking ahead of him down a dingy upstairs landing. Floorboards creaking underfoot. He stares into his own eyes.LANDING . AMBROSE (slightly panicked) I must finish my exhibit.cramped. Quite alone. ANIMAL MAGIC. AMBROSE leaves..excuse me. CUT TO: INT. Piled-up boxes and rubbish in a darkened room. He takes in the key around his neck. AMBROSE I live alone here. He glances around the bathroom .EVENING 1 A bare bulb flicks on revealing a spartan bedroom with a single bed with a chocolate covered blanket bang in the middle of the room. . CARTER studies AMBROSE. ancient and Victorian. AMBROSE You may rest here. exhausted.. shutting the door behind him. CUT TO: INT. CARTER glances through an open door as he passes. notices the blood on the fob. He takes in a shelf upon which there is an old-fashioned powdered toothpaste and a pink Phillips Ladyshave.CARTER'S POV: his own reflection in a decayed mirror as he splashes water on his face. almost institutional. AMBROSE and CARTER stand in the doorway. ANIMAL MAGIC.BEDROOM .
CARTER looks around the room then slumps down on AMBROSE'S lonely bed. One of them rides an inflatable penis like a hobby horse. then with a sudden urgency he starts to look around. DUDLEY Are you not tired? LOLA I'm fine. . LOLA and DUDLEY walk through this crowd slightly uneasily but trying to maintain a front. CUT TO: EXT. I'm just about They pass the top of an alleyway.. the other has a v-neck jumper. There is a single pair of turquoise underpants. DUDLEY Lively isn't it. SEAFRONT . DUDLEY yawns in an exagerrated manner. we could go up the tower. She grunts like a pig. plastic tits tied round their chests. He opens another and finds a single dog lead attached to an empty collar. ready for bed. beer bottles in hand. eyes cast heavenward. They chant and cheer lasciviously. A fleeting glimpse of TRIXIE her skirt pulled up. Frustrated. receiving it from a large gentleman. LOLA Shall we . He opens one drawer.CARTER waits for a second listening to the receding footsteps.. DUDLEY Must be the sea air. CARTER opens the wardrobe in the corner of the room. He goes to a chest of drawers. Inside are two hangers: one is empty.EVENING 1 A gang of LADS on a stag are crossing in front of the traffic.
SHIRLEY'S car passes them and screeches to a halt. DUDLEY (nervous) Let's go back.LOLA Walk on the beach? DUDLEY looks at her and takes her hand.as she crosses the room in costume. The BOUNCERS part respectfully. LIAM too nervous to respond. MERCY'S LAPDANCING CLUB . VIENNA (to LIAM) Hiyah chuck. smiles weakly. CUT TO: INT. CUT TO: EXT. VIENNA They dealing you in tonight? SHIRLEY .the fawn-like beauty already glimpsed on the MAYOR'S poster . opening the door for him. SHIRLEY is scanning the room.EVENING 1 SHIRLEY pushes his way towards the entrance of MERCY'S followed by a nervous LIAM. her toe-nails are painted immaculately with sparkly green nail-polish. MERCY'S LAPDANCING CLUB .EVENING 1 SHIRLEY pushes through the CROWD still followed by LIAM. Close on a pair of bare girl's feet. VIENNA Mr Woolf? He flicks his eyes over Vienna. Reveal VIENNA KEEN .
What's it to you? SHIRLEY is wary . want to see Mercy. SHIRLEY No I don't want a fucking table. VIENNA moves a little closer. BRYAN glances around awkwardly. At the back of the room.BRYAN appears at SHIRLEY'S side. BRYAN follows trying to distract him. BRYAN I have not seen Mercy for some days I But SHIRLEY is already striding through the room. I Remember? The FIGURE turns. scanning the tables.. VIENNA I like to watch. Oi. She very dirty girl. bear-like shaven-headed figure of THE GREEK. SHIRLEY ignores BRYAN and walks on. stands the huge. on house. SHIRLEY Oddbod. BRYAN Mr Shirley..all too aware of her near-nakedness. SHIRLEY Where's Mercy? Suddenly a chirpy obsequious-seeming Chinese man . BRYAN You want free drink? You want Vienna do dance for you? One to one. You want nice table by bar. You are very very welcome. SHIRLEY Where's Mercy? MERCY (OOV) .
CUT TO: INT. She wears the clothes of a much younger woman. CLOSE-UP on an ELDERLY WOMAN'S mouth..BEDROOM . anxious face. CUT TO: INT..Blackpool. The ELDERLY WOMAN vomits a quantity of blood.. Though her face is lined and wrinkled her lips are rouged. A frightened CARTER clambering out of a narrow window. SHIRLEY turns to see a 62 year old blonde. FRANNY KRANTZ Danger..DAY FRAGMENTED IMAGES: A HAND reaching up through the darkness. FRANCIS KRANTZ'S BATHROOM A power-drill punches through a wooden door. The WOMAN'S fingers press FRANNY KRANTZ Take it to the beach. She studies SHIRLEY with slitted eyes. INT. She smokes a cigarillo.Ambrose Chapel CARTER'S gaunt. something into CARTER'S hand.I'm right here. CARTER'S POV looking back: a distant silhouette in a window watching him run.NIGHT 1 .. FRANNY KRANTZ Don't let them have it. A close-up of the rusty key in CARTER'S bloodied hand.. HOSPITAL BED. Throw it in the sea. ANIMAL MAGIC.
. CARTER puts his hand over AMBROSE'S. CARTER A Gooner? AMBROSE He supported the Arsenal.. He's sweating. I like..a builder. I know about bones. Uncertainly AMBROSE places his hand . then freezes. . AMBROSE responds . clad only in his turquoise underpants. It's been a long time. AMBROSE (hesitantly) You have beautiful bones. But CARTER'S grip tightens a little too hard. CARTER stares at him.over CARTER'S... An uncomfortable pause. AMBROSE I'm sorry.I have only done this once. manically reaches for his key..a Gooner. AMBROSE (uneasily) You prefer the Spurs? CARTER'S hand tightens even more. AMBROSE attempts a seductive stroke of CARTER'S hand.you know him of course.. Ineptly.15 years of celibacy about to be washed away. It seems a gentle gesture.. AMBROSE Forgive me. Still no response..CARTER wakes up with a start in Ambrose's darkened room.a dead weight .he was a big man.bones. AMBROSE I'm a little out of practice...... Standing over the bed is the emaciated wraith-like figure of AMBROSE CHAPFEL. AMBROSE sits on the bed. doesn't move an inch.
.. CARTER Think back.Bruno.you said. AMBROSE But.. AMBROSE is on his knees. CARTER Who's Bruno? A fucking bear? I've never heard of him..I thought he'd sent you... He is now crushing AMBROSE'S hand...AMBROSE You're.if Bruno told you . AMBROSE This is not what I like. Fear flickers in AMBROSE'S eyes.. CARTER That's not why I'm here....I.. CARTER Franny. AMBROSE I don't know.. CARTER squeezes mercilessly.hurting me. AMBROSE Fanny? Franny! CARTER Francis Krantz.? CARTER stands... CARTER My mother.. AMBROSE (horrified) Then who are you.. AMBROSE ..
AMBROSE Chapfel! Chapfel! My name is Ambrose Chapfel! AMBROSE points out a framed promotional photograph on the wall of AMBROSE in his evening suit .' CARTER takes this in.a moment later she was dead.. CARTER ..Creations..SEAVIEW SUITE .. This too sinks in. CUT TO: INT..I never touched her.I don't know her. CARTER Ambrose Chapel... A legend reads 'Ambrose Chapfel .last night. A seemingly endless pause where CARTER just stares at AMBROSE'S frightened face. I'm just an innocent taxidermist. AMBROSE No Chapfel...she gave me your name..NIGHT 1 . SHANGRI-LA. AMBROSE I don't know this women. AMBROSE (horrified) No! CARTER flicks open the piece of paper and shoves it in AMBROSE'S face. AMBROSE You have the wrong man. CARTER Chapel.with some of his creations.
it's jaws wide open. empty breeze-block office. awkwardly. CUT TO: INT. For a moment he half sits/half stands . LIAM Look. MERCY So what's the problem? SHIRLEY My son needs money. on the other side of the bed.then decides to remain upright. Opposite the door is a a massive metal desk with no chair.NIGHT 1 CLOSE ON: a black and white monitor showing VIENNA KEEN gyrating provocatively on a lap-dancing stage. MERCY Take a seat Shirley. both nervous about the ensuing union. MERCY'S LAPDANCING CLUB. MERCY looks at LIAM and pats the Chaise-Longue. MERCY is wheeled in by THE GREEK. The rest of the space trails off into darkness.DUDLEY pulls the grimy bedspread back. I'm the one that gives it to him.OFFICE . A huge. Faintly visible on the far wall is a large close-up photograph of a shark. Four bright-orange plastic primary school chairs. SHIRLEY I'll stand. MERCY indicates one of the orange chairs. LIAM moves to sit. To one side a red-velvet chaise-longue. followed by SHIRLEY and a nervous LIAM. then they begin to undress rapidly. SHIRLEY looks at him. I can SHIRLEY . LIAM doesn't know what to do. LOLA stands nervously A moment.
MERCY gestures to two large portrait photographs rendered as oil-paintings. SHIRLEY Wait in the car. LIAM Smart SHIRLEY grabs LIAM'S wrist before he can take the money.Big Soph. He doesn't need your help. Just like his poor dead mother. LIAM exits. He leaves too. MERCY I'm just trying to help. SHIRLEY What you playing at? . SHIRLEY'S eyes are fixed on MERCY. Three months off his head. MERCY gives THE GREEK a nod. SHIRLEY Like before. She gives it to LIAM. Every shark in Rusholme taking a bite. closing the door behind him. LIAM looks nervously at SHIRLEY.Shut up. MERCY Why don't you go and get yourself a Tizer. A moment of silence. The first is of a rotund rosy-faced blond . You can't deny it. MERCY produces a roll of money like a loaf of bread and peels of a fifty. This is Lena -Liam and Ruby's mother. The second a leather cat-suited svelte brunette singer caught dramatically mid-song. Like Manchester. LIAM Nan was just trying SHIRLEY Will you shut the fuck up! MERCY The boy's got talent.
. SHIRLEY I love my wife. MERCY Your brother's. hand-made birthday card. SHIRLEY throws down the newspaper open at the article about Sins. MERCY How's the therapy? Any progress? SHIRLEY We're not going.MERCY wheels herself closer towards SHIRLEY. MERCY Your wife's handwriting.. She reaches into the drawer and withdraws a cheap little corner shop birthday card tailored for an elderly woman. MERCY Yours. And I wonder why. In the centre is a heart-shaped photo of WILLY WOOLF and his donkey CLARENCE. MERCY I'm disappointed Shirley. She removes a large. SHIRLEY is taken aback. SHIRLEY You're disappointed? MERCY forcefully pulls a drawer open in the desk. MERCY You're not the . 'TO MUM' crudely written in sequins and glitter. MERCY I did you a favour. SHIRLEY Pay back. A pause while SHIRLEY takes this in.not even a kiss. covered in lace and net... Relate type.
SHIRLEY Mug's game. (mocking) She wants you all to herself. SHIRLEY Forget it. MERCY You know she's been a naughty girl. . SHIRLEY turns and walks towards the door. Going behind your back. Agreed a price. MERCY She wants you out of Blackpool.And all those little pretties out there? SHIRLEY momentarily glances at VIENNA on the monitor. SHIRLEY We had an agreement. SHIRLEY stops and looks at her. MERCY starts to wheel herself slowly towards SHIRLEY. I want your attention Shirley. SHIRLEY Leave it. MERCY Such a waste. covers. MERCY She's got a buyer for the club. MERCY She was in Todmorden Tuesday. MERCY I'm your mother. SHIRLEY's shaken. You went back on it.
SHIRLEY .. A pause.. That's if I'm lucky... Once it was Sunday lunch every week. Then it was monthly.. MERCY You think you're a big man. Bank Holiday Monday.MERCY You made promises.. you're not. SHIRLEY stares at her.a round of mini-golf or a run up to Bispham. MERCY lays a hand over SHIRLEY'S. MERCY Ten years old.a carvery or a fish restaurant.... MERCY puts hand on SHIRLEY'S. MERCY Make amends.this is who you are. MERCY swivels her wheelchair towards him. MERCY Oh yes. a cross on the card.now it's the Trafford Centre. Shitting yourself. MERCY Don't be so sure. She withdraws an ancient pair of crumpled child's Y-fronts. Visible is a sewn in name tag reading 'Shirley Woolf'. And then with a trembling hand he puts He withdraws his. . SHIRLEY That's all you're going to get from me.I've been busy. MERCY taps her lips.. Doing what? Licking that bitch's cunt out? MERCY throws open another drawer.
..... In the process he jolts her head painfully into the head-board. DUDLEY Does that feel good? LOLA (uncertainly) Hmmm! DUDLEY You like that don't you.yeah.. .baby... burning a hole right through it.SEAVIEW SUITE.ooh baby.takes a long drag on her cigarillo and then brings the burning end towards the kiss on the card. DUDLEY'S face wears an exaggerated theatrical rictus of pleasure... DUDLEY Sorry love. CUT TO: INT.carry on.yeah.. SHANGRI-LA... LOLA looks uncomfortable though she tries to disguise this.... MERCY stares after him....NIGHT 1 DUDLEY and LOLA are in bed. (aware of his eyes on her) .ride it. DUDLEY (unconvincing) That's right baby... He swings clumsily on top of Lola. LOLA Yes.. She picks up the card .you like that don't you doll. DUDLEY . entering her. DUDLEY clumsily thrusting his fingers in and out in between LOLA'S legs. LOLA I'm fine..He turns to the door and walks out..
DUDLEY realises that LOLA is genuinely enjoying herself....... DUDLEY You like it hard baby. runs across the room and sticks the bucket on his leg and heads back to the bed..no stop it. There is no perceptible change in his stroke. shattering it. continues to shake the bucket on his foot.Dudley. His foot shaking the bucket... LOLA Oh Dudley. Inadvertently this action pleases LOLA..what are you doing. . slowing his rhythm. LOLA That's better. He continues to try and shake it off.you getting there? LOLA Softer. LOLA Oh yes.. It crashes into an ornament He DUDLEY immediately returns to his previously inept and vigorous performance...you love it.oh yeah. Suddenly the bucket flies off.. DUDLEY launches himself across the bed...that's good. LOLA No slower.. However in DUDLEY'S frenzy his foot slips off the bed and gets caught in the orange plastic bucket. He tries to shake it off.. DUDLEY Oh baby.don't stop. LOLA That's it.He begins to thrust with absurd vigour and enthusiasm.
AMBROSE behind him.the orange bucket on his foot. AMBROSE What are you doing? going? CARTER Get out of my way.. CARTER exits.. CUT TO: INT. AMBROSE (plaintively) What will you do when you find this other Ambrose. CARTER Kill him. CARTER wrenches open the door.the one you want? CARTER thinks for a moment.LOLA What are you doing? She sits up and looks at him. DUDLEY You said you liked it like that. AMBROSE (tentative) You can stay if you like. LOLA just stares at him.BEDROOM . He stands naked before her . looks at AMBROSE.NIGHT 1 CARTER strides down the hallway. CARTER I don't think so. ANIMAL MAGIC. CUT TO: Where are you . decides.
She puts her hand on his arm. Pay you a visit. VIENNA You don't look very happy. A scantily-dressed VIENNA KEEN appears. A fleeting glimpse of a half-page boxed entry for Bridewell Holdings.NIGHT 1 CLOSE ON SHIRLEY'S face seething. A hand flicking through the pages of a telephone directory.BAR . blocking his path. MERCY'S LAPDANCING CLUB. VIENNA I could pop round. He snaps the directory shut. stopping at various Chapel's. A finger runs down the list of names. VIENNA What's the matter? SHIRLEY just looks at her. Frustrated. He tries to pass her. Several pages of Bs. VIENNA Going so soon? SHIRLEY tries to push past her. PHONE BOX . VIENNA Have a drink. There is no Ambrose Chapel. pushing his way towards the exit. SHIRLEY I don't think so. CARTER looks back down at the phone book. . Then a page of names beginning with C. CUT TO: INT. Just like I used to. Stay. VIENNA moves closer.INT.NIGHT 1 A clap of thunder.
The window glides down revealing the fat face of the MAYOR. He places the thong into a brown envelope. VIENNA (whispering seductively) Don't you? SHIRLEY hesitates for a moment.NIGHT 1 A large black Limo pulls up. Again checking over his shoulder he withdraws something from his pocket. BRYAN You say that but I could be in big trouble. MERCY'S LAPDANCING CLUB . she fucking do me in. CUT TO: OMITTED IS NOW SCENE 41A EXT. He allows himself a little smile. It is a tiny golden thong.SHIRLEY I don't do that any more. . THE MAYOR is clearly satisfied. then brushes past. THE MAYOR (expectant) Have you got it? BRYAN Mercy find out. VIENNA watches him go. BRYAN'S fingers are gripping the edge of the lowered window. looking nervously around. THE MAYOR lightly pats them. Covertly. His eyes narrow as he takes in the palace of depravity. THE MAYOR You've done well BRYAN. BRYAN exits the club and scurries over to the car. an inscrutable expression on her face. He hands it to THE MAYOR.
KEN CRYER is lurking in the shadows. hesitantly. frightened. emerges from the club.NIGHT 1 Close on CONNIE in the ticket booth. SHIRLEY hesitates. unsure how to respond. not sure what to say. He has taken a photograph with his digital camera. The window rises. KEN'S pleased with himself. seething. He's reeling. he begins. LIAM . CONNIE It's me . Then. catches a glimpse of RUBY who is enthusiastically greeting CHRIS CHURCH with a snog. gathering himself.. turns off the phone. It's CONNIE. SHIRLEY'S MERCEDES . We see the display: the thong being lowered into the brown envelope.NIGHT 1 LIAM sits waiting. Barely able to control himself. I'm scared. KEN withdraws into the shadows. SINS NIGHTCLUB FOYER . CHRIS is dressed "casual smart". turns to go.THE MAYOR You'll be taken care of. SHIRLEY rips open the door and drops down into the seat. LIAM watches him for a moment. SHIRLEY. her mobile pressed against her ear. CUT TO: INT. nodding to music on the stereo. CONNIE hesitates. His mobile rings. Trust me.. chewing gum. CUT TO: INT. CONNIE Ring us Shirley. BRYAN scuttles off as the MAYOR's car pulls away. SHIRLEY glances around. has made a little too much effort.
SHIRLEY (gritted teeth) No. DUDLEY looks at her. SHANGRI-LA. We'll do it together.I don't know how. DUDLEY stands up... LOLA sits next to him . It's all sorted.SEAVIEW SUITE .... LIAM (bravado) I'll go back to Idi I'll get that grand..Now Dad.her arm draped over his shoulder.you're just. He now wears a pair of boxer shorts and a T-shirt. I've been thinking. DUDLEY It's hopeless. SHIRLEY stares at LIAM.. (stammering) I can't fulfil your needs..NIGHT 1 DUDLEY sits on the edge of the bed. LOLA Where are you going? . SHIRLEY doesn't respond. LOLA We'll try again in the morning.tired. LOLA That's not true. I'll show you how to collect a debt. DUDLEY shakes his head. CUT TO: INT. I've got it sussed.I can't do it. The band can wait.
SHANGRI-LA. watching him. KITCHEN . Have that one on the house. LEO How's that bucket working for you? DUDLEY What? LEO The bucket. . LOLA lies back. DUDLEY is completely lost. LEO Helping yourself? He produces a can like a charity box which he shakes in DUDLEY'S face. A lone pot of yoghurt with a blown lid. DUDLEY I haven't got anything on me.DUDLEY I need some ice cream. DUDLEY turns to go. DUDLEY shuts the fridge door and opens a nearby cupboard.DAY 1 POV Inside of fridge. CUT TO: INT. He shuts the door. revealing LEO FINCH standing. DUDLEY Thanks. just slosh it down the sink. LEO When it gets full. defeated. He exits slamming the door behind him. LEO That's alright son. He pulls out a packet of Pop Tarts.
I'd better get back. LEO turns to address the room LEO He wants to ask the wife. WILLY Treat 'em mean.my wife. I'd still be married if I'd done that. You can put it on the tab. crippled hand covered in burns emerges from the shadows.... SHADOWMAN .. DUDLEY starts to walk off down the hall. Poker... Five quid sit down. From one corner a gnarled. LEO What's the rush? LEO follows him. awkward. CUT TO: INT. DUDLEY Well. BRADLEY (shaking his head) Never do that son. It's owner's face remains hidden but we hear a guttural grunting. LEO Never be afraid to keep a lady waiting..NIGHT 1 LEO pushes open a door revealing a smoked-filled room filled with an unlikely gaggle of POKER PLAYERS. Spend a bit of time with the lads.. LEO Fancy a flutter. Keep 'em keen. DUDLEY stands for a moment.DUDLEY Right. SHANGRI LA POKER ROOM .
' They all look at an APE COSTUME which is hanging from the wall. DUDLEY looks around the room. ROCKSHOTZ SOUVENIR SHOP . LEO kicks him. Next is WILLY. DUDLEY suddenly wilts. A cat mews. LEO . BRADLEY Listen to Vaughan.NIGHT 1 IDI is counting out a wad of cash onto his glass cabinet.. SHANGRI-LA POKER ROOM .. All eyes turn to the SHADOWMAN. BRADLEY shoves a solitary chip across the table... SHADOWMAN 'Ask the monkey.. LEO. sits. IDI glances up. WILLY wakes with a jolt. CUT TO: INT. WILLY. He sings softly to himself.. A look of absolute horror floods his face. LEO pats him on the back and shovels a pile of chips (embossed with MERCY'S name) in front of him. It's value is marked at one pound. He has fallen asleep. CUT TO: INT. DUDLEY stares into its dead black eye holes.Hnnnnhhhh. LEO Are you a man or are you a mouse? BRADLEY.NIGHT 1 CLOSE ON a hand of two cards: an ace and an eight. The sound of wind rattling a window. He folds.Hnnnhhhh. EVERYONE is concentrating on their hands.
CUT TO: EXT. ALL EYES turn to DUDLEY. He slows his pace. desperate. A small caption beneath the photo reads 'Ambrose Chapel Blackpool's oldest place of worship. the blank. CARTER glances at it. DUDLEY places his pound chip with the others.' . racked with LEO What's the matter lad. finger pointing. The image of the church is picked in the headlights of a passing car. Can't make up your mind? DUDLEY looks up at the MONKEY COSTUME on the wall. earlier in the day. You haven't even looked at your cards. The silhouette of the driver is visible as it passes. CARTER comes to a halt in front of the hoarding where he arrived naked. A lone car drives past. DUDLEY is sweating. CARTER's eyes move down to the other images: MERCY'S lapdancing club. black holes of the eyes. and down further to the church. watching warily. SEAFRONT . WILLY puts in his pound. indecision. the turbulent expanse of the bleak sea churning behind him. He looks around. CLOSE ON the smile of the MONKEY face. WILLY Don't worry about that son. He looks up at the huge image of the MAYOR.The bet's a pound. seemingly slowing as it does so.NIGHT 1 CARTER walks along the desolate seafront. staring reproachfully. BRADLEY Willy.
Pull out to reveal that BRADLEY and LEO now have big piles of chips in front of them.SEAVIEW SUITE. You've got to pay up tonight.. CUT TO: INT. She looks at the bedside travel clock. DUDLEY has nothing. We spent the last of it coming here. He is sweating profusely.. ... staring at the ceiling. SHANGRI-LA . SHANGRI-LA. LEO You're in a pickle son. DUDLEY I've been out of work for three months.NIGHT 1 CLOSE ON LEO FINCH totting up figures on a battered old calculator.CUT TO: INT. LEO House rules I'm afraid.. gets up. WILLY A right pickle. LEO That comes to a round three grand.POKER ROOM . SHADOWMAN Hnnnnhhhhhhh. WILLY is asleep. crosses the room and opens the door a crack. Isn't that right Bradley? BRADLEY That's how we do it up here. DUDLEY I haven't got it.NIGHT 1 LOLA SUTTON is lying on her back in her nightie.
.. DUDLEY (afeared) Well what.send you a cheque. Gratis. Shots of BRADLEY'S expectant face. LEO Vaughn lost last week. BRADLEY Bit of photography.? LEO Look son. I'll wipe the debt.. LEO Miscellaneous services and the like. still paid up. Another few inches of the SHADOWMAN emerge from the shadows.. SHANGRI-LA RECEPTION . SHADOWMAN Nuuuhhhhhhh. Tell you what I'll do. LEO nods towards the MONKEY SUIT on the wall. The skin of forearm is hideously burnt. didn't have the cash..what do you want. LEO That was his forfeit. You can stay on a few days.NIGHT 1 .. DUDLEY I'll. All we want is the use of your wife.DUDLEY gets up pushing his chair back. DUDLEY looks like he's in shock.. LEO Can she dance? CUT TO: INT. Another groan from the SHADOWMAN.
LOLA'S naked legs descending the stairs. LEO You're not going anywhere son. It's fine. LEO and the others have come out into the corridor. He speeds towards her in a total panic. LOLA I haven't got any clothes on. DUDLEY wrenches open the front door to reveal SHIRLEY WOOLF finger poised by the bell. You know what we want. LOLA. The door of the poker room opens. A hand on the bannister. A crack of thunder. . DUDLEY emerges still in his boxer shorts and vest. DUDLEY grabs LOLA'S arm and starts pulling her towards the front door. SHIRLEY I hope you haven't started without me.. I don't want anything to do with this.. DUDLEY You can't make me. LEO There's a tab to be cleared son.. LOLA What's going on. turns around. still in just her nightie. It's all under control. DUDLEY I've lost a bit of money. The corridor is flooded with light.? DUDLEY We've got to get out of here. SHIRLEY glances down at LOLA in her short nightie. You're a bunch of cheats.. SHIRLEY stands there staring at them. LOLA Dudley..
SHIRLEY On your way then. DUDLEY We're just leaving.. SHIRLEY tears off the page. LOLA Three grand! LEO We've come to an. The kid owes a bundle.SHIRLEY Who's this? DUDLEY takes her arm.. SHIRLEY Oh really? LEO Three grand. LEO We've got a little problem.. SHIRLEY Not going are you? SHIRLEY turns to LEO.. LOLA looks at DUDLEY. . alone on the page.arrangement. The distant weeping begins from upstairs. SHIRLEY Got their address? LEO produces the registration book open at the SUTTON'S details. He won't pay.? DUDLEY I've agreed to nothing. DUDLEY moves to go and SHIRLEY blocks his path. LOLA Dudley.
LIAM We've got a problem. and smiles at them. END OF EPISODE ONE . SHIRLEY reaches in and brings out a heavy bolt remover. CUT TO: EXT. Despite his suffocating position IDI is struggling for his life.NIGHT 1 SHIRLEY walks to the boot and springs it open. Pay you a visit. SINS NIGHTCLUB . Dad. DUDLEY and LOLA'S horrified faces. SHIRLEY looks past LIAM at the car. DUDLEY turns and looks behind him. A dull thumping can be heard.a cat's head protruding from his mouth. LEO stands there looking at him impassively. He looks down at LOLA.NIGHT 1 A hand wipes the grime from a brass plaque revealing the words 'Ambrose Chapel'. SILENCE. CARTER stares at it for a moment. Mercilessly he brings it down on IDI'S head.CARTER'S face reflected in the sign. LIAM appears behind SHIRLEY.twenty foot red letters against white: 'SINS'. SHANGRI-LA . CUT TO: EXT. his face spattered with blood.(with menace) I can always pop round some time. steps back and looks up. The bloodied and battered body of IDI . SHIRLEY turns. PULL BACK to reveal CARTER silhouetted against an enormous illuminated sign . LOLA'S wide-eyed face. A flash of lightning .
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